Chapter Text
Sleeping, waking, working, repeat... Even if the days were repetitive and boring it was hard to make change. Even if the days were repetitive and boring Neuvillette couldn't find anything to complain about. He had a work he loved, a peaceful life, and life let him wander freely from one day to another. Why didn't he feel content and satisfied? He got all he asked for.
Neuvillette put on one of his brown aprons for work and opened up his shop. He was a ceramist who made special commissions for people but also sold premade stuff. He loved his customers and he had found a passion for his job. He was fascinated by the idea of making something special for people with his own hands. Somehow, in the peaceful life he lived only doing his job made him feel at peace.
His workstation consisted of the store part and his counter on the front, which could all be seen from the display window. He had displayed some of his proudest works there in the hopes of catching some attention. To the back of his counter was his workspace. He would make all his items there with the materials from his overfilled storage. Who knows how many old dry paint buckets were lying around there?
Neuvillette gathered his supplies from a desk and in his haste dropped a pot. The pot hit the ground and shattered into pieces. "I'm sorry", Neuvillette said and crouched to pick up some of the bigger shards. The tips were sharp, unlike the soft-edged pot they were just in the shape of. Huh... Gladly, it was not a commission, Neuvillette thought to himself and began cleaning the sharp shards with a broom.
He always worked alone. He liked working alone in peace and quiet. Just the sound of water dripping from his hands as he softened a molded piece of clay calmed his mind still. The use of water helped him add a personal touch to his work. Even the paints that he used for his ceramics were water-based, as they made the surface look more light with the right amount of water mixed in. The pot that broke earlier had been one of his attempts at trying pottery too. He hasn't gotten the hang of it just yet.
But the growing silence made his mind grow louder.
The bell set above his shop's door rang as a cheery customer greeted him familiarly, "Good morning, Monsieur Neuvillette!" The man was one of his more frequent customers and had set an interest in his work and dedication from the start. His entrance snapped Neuvillette back to reality and the greyness of his walls seemed to dissipate.
Neuvillette set the broom aside and walked behind his counter to greet the customer, "Good morning, Aether". Aether was much younger than him and exuded a youthful aura. It felt foreign calling him a 'customer' since he referred to Neuvillette as a friend. Neuvillette wasn't against the idea of being friends, he just never thought of having friends.
"You're here early", Neuvillette said with a questioning voice as Aether leaned against the counter like the shop was his home.
"I wanted to inquire about something", Aether began and took Neuvillette's eyebrow raise as his cue to elaborate, "I want something new into my life like... A certain pazzazz if you know what I mean".
"Pa... what?" Neuvillette did not know. Aether liked to use weird words around him and always took great joy in his reactions and lack of knowledge of these kinds of words. As always, he laughed merrily and slapped his palm on Neuvillette's shoulder.
"Something like a new fashion style to try out or traveling somewhere far! Or maybe I should get one of your designs tattooed hahaha!" Aether joked and Neuvillette grew a bit embarrassed.
"Maybe you shouldn't go that far..." He side-eyed Aether and began cleaning the counter with a damp rag absently. He wasn't against the idea of his designs being tattooed but he wanted them to be personal and meaningful. Aether's idea was sarcastic but who knows if he'd actually do it...
"Have any ideas then?" Aether asked and leaned against his palm lazily.
It was still early morning and no customers were out and about, they had all the time to chat about nonsense. Neuvillette thought about Aether's questions and looked out to the street from his shop's window where the early morning sun cast a warm glow in his shop. Maybe some greenery would make it seem more alive...
Neuvillette's mind was empty of ideas. He never did anything special or something... Pazzazz. He shook his empty head in decline, "I'm afraid I don't have any ideas."
Aether pondered Neuvillette's response and raised his eyebrows curiously. Suddenly, he looked around the gloomy shop and Neuvillette standing behind his plainly brown counter in his plainly brown apron and white shirt (somehow without stains). Something lit up in his head and he exclaimed and pointed at Neuvillette, "It's you who needs some pazzazz in your life! How can you be here in this clay-smelling shop all day alone, you'll become stinky!"
Neuvillette sighed at that last remark but thought about his words. Aether's ideas went against his ideal peaceful life and would interfere with his repetitive cycle. Wouldn't things just end up going in disarray?
"I think I'm quite satisfied with what I have", Neuvillette said but as the words left his mouth he didn't quite believe them. Everything truly did seem gray and dull once more when Aether left every time. The once quiet thoughts would resurface like loud shrieks, it wasn't peaceful at all.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
The next day was like any other, sleeping, waking, working, repeat... The same peaceful-... The same dull life cycle continued. Neuvillette put on his plain brown apron and entered his plain brown and greyish working space and shop. Even the colorfully painted works of his looked sad and devoid of color. They were made with passion and love, each one, so why..? Why did everything lively and colorful drain to the bottom of a sink and resurface as only bittersweet memories?
Neuvillette looked at a framed picture by the side of his working station and saw that it was dusted over. He gently brushed the dust off to reveal three people shaping stuff from clay. Back then, Neuvillette's eyes shone brightly as he followed his mom's instructions and happily helped his younger, more clumsier, sister of his. The photo's colors never really faded.
The photo and Aether... both the only colors he has seen in a while. Why do I drift away from it? Neuvillette thought to himself. Everything around him was gray and dull, infecting his mind and emotions. Happiness was a bright yellow that should've carried his peaceful life yet it had turned into grey that led him into a screaming silence. Maybe it had never been a bright yellow, to begin with.
It was useless to dwell on these thoughts, there was nothing wrong with him and everything was supposed to be fine. "Just focus on your work and do as usual, this is nothing new", Neuvillette talked quietly to himself and took something shaped like a small dragon and started preparing paint for it. His colorful stock of paints seemed all the same making no difference whatsoever if the ceramic piece was painted or not, it would not stand out from the gloom.
Neuvillette hummed to himself as he began painting the small cool clay dragon. What should I eat today? He thought to himself. In fact, his stomach grumbled. He had not eaten anything since yesterday's breakfast.
Neuvillette shook his head to get free of his thoughts and redirect his attention to his work. A white streak of paint had gone astray from the dragon's small eye, making it look like a teardrop. He sighed and set his tools aside. As if on cue, the store's bell rang and a customer came in. Aether wasn't supposed to visit him today, he had his signature days, so it must be a new client.
Neuvillette stepped behind his counter and welcomed his new customer, "Welcome to Fontaine Ceramics, what can I do for you?... huh?" His eyes widened a bit as a face familiar from his shrouded memories made his surroundings black. He tried to stay composed and indifferent as the customer came forward.
"Oh, Neuvillette. Haven't seen you in a while", the other man acknowledged him quite sarcastically. He looked around the dull shop and displayed ceramics painted exquisitely. A judging expression met Neuvillette's eyes once more.
"Oh how far you've become. And staring at me with such a threatening expression like I've offended you somehow, I thought we settled everything a long time ago", the man picked up a piece and inspected it more closely.
Neuvillette cooled his expression and asked indifferently, "How can I help you today?" He refused to acknowledge previous encounters or relations and kept his professional self present. That shrouded face made it hard for him to maintain eye contact or stand straight behind the counter.
The other man shrugged and chuckled as he came closer to the counter. "I need a piece personally made, a special request", he explained and pulled up his phone. Neuvillette held in his sigh and listened to the other's request.
The request seemed like any other and Neuvillette didn't think too much of it. It was a simple ceramic piece with a fitting color scheme. Neuvillette accepted the commission since he had no reason to decline, personal feelings should not interfere with his work. The man shortly left and Neuvillette stood still behind the counter with money in his hands. It had been a long time since he had seen that person and mistaking another for him always frightened him.
Neuvillette's life was not peaceful. It was filled with past memories that enveloped his mind like a black fog. He never really considered that emotional scars were scars too and not having dealt with them they had only hidden deeper in his mind.
His hand faltered and hit the counter softly. He never realised he was so... bothered. He finally let out the sigh he was holding and breathed.
Hmm...
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Neuvillette's small apartment barely had food and the soup bought from the closest convenience store didn't appeal to him. His stomach grumbled as he looked at the probably already expired food but he set it aside either way. Maybe later...
He was no short of money and could afford a better apartment. Even if his income from his job wasn't too big he... He had the inheritance money. But it wasn't a matter of money. This place was close to his workstation and it wouldn't make a difference even if it was a bigger and more comfortable apartment. Nothing felt quite like home.
Neuvillette hasn't seen his sister in a while aside from the occasional messages from her end. It felt so different now, they were separated by some unfortunate events. Even so, he would've wanted a closer relationship with her now but it felt like he no longer knew her or himself.
No friends, no family... Neuvillette couldn't help but think about it. His ideas of a peaceful life had pushed him into separation from everyone. Or maybe it wasn't just his ideas of a peaceful life but a consequence of past actions.
His stomach grumbled. Neuvillette slumped on his sofa and stared at the ceiling. Did he have friends, ever? Aether? Aether was only one of his clients. There was no one by his side even in his childhood aside from his sister. His sister was always the one in the spotlight and had many friends to speak of. Even with all those friends she used to spare all her attention mostly on her big brother. Back then... It felt nice to be included and taken away from the sea of his own mind.
Should I contact her? The thought passed in his mind, fleeting.
His mind strayed back to Aether and his words. "Maybe I do need some... pazzazz", Neuvillette said out loud and the word seemed colorful in his mind amid the dull greys and browns.
-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
The next day was like any other, sleeping, waking... It didn't matter. It was an unusually bustling day in the shop. people were walking through the street and stopping to admire his diligent work. It wasn't an inviting shop but after having a glance or two they stepped in one after another.
"This is very lovely, do you run this place alone?" An old woman asked Neuvillette as he was handling her payment.
"Yes, I've never really needed other workers and manage just fine", he responded with a pleasant smile. He handed the heart-shaped ceramic to the woman as he had finished wrapping it in some protective wrap.
As he handed the ceramic the woman took a hold of his hand, "I've seen many people in my lifetime. You look very pale young man, are you sure you're handling it?"
Why? Why was his life making him have encounters that were like signs for him? Did it really show on his face if he hadn't even fully realised what was wrong with him? He once again fell into his habit of brushing it off and nodded while trying to seem reassuring. Why wouldn't I be fine? It's all in the past.
It's all in the past.
Neuvillette stared at the old woman and found that she was bright like a cool shade of purple. It was always when he opened his eyes even a little that he could catch the hints of bright color. How long have his eyes been closed for?
Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw someone stumble outside. It seemed to be a small girl who was covered in small bruises and cuts. Without warning, images flashed in Neuvillette's mind of himself once having been in a similar state. His instincts suddenly kicked in and he let go of the woman's hands as he ran outside. He didn't care about his customer's confused stares, all he could hear about were those small signs that kept bothering him in the depths of his mind.
"Are you sure you're handling it?"
"I thought we settled everything a long time ago".
"Why do I drift away from it?"
"It's you who needs some pazzazz in your life!"
As he stepped outside he could suddenly see colors. The bright street his own gloomy grey shop was placed in. The wind played with his hair as if leading him forward. His legs started walking, jogging, running towards that small girl who turned to another street, trying to get away from the judging stares of others like a small hurt animal.
Neuvillette felt his heart rate pick up. That child... It was the spitting image of himself when he was younger. He had run to his mom, crying. His mom's hands comforted him and embraced his differences lovingly, unlike those who bullied him for his sharp eyes and ears.
Even the few blue strands on his hair, a strange birthmark, had dulled in color but now they seemed to be glowing in the wind. He felt the strange need to help that child, to give her the same receiving arms he had received from his mother. He ran and ran until he saw the child again, running along a long street.
It wasn't his responsibility to do this nor had he had a single rational thought before bolting from his shop and leaving his customers unattended. He couldn't help it, the sudden need to protect someone who reminded him of himself surfaced. He didn't want that small child to succumb to the depths of her mind like he had and name it peace. He didn't want that small child to get separated from her family due to self-isolation like he did.
He couldn't bear to see someone else suffer from a colorless world.
Suddenly, the child slowed down and went into a building by the road. Neuvillette slowed as well and looked at the sign above it, a tattoo parlor. Why would a small child like her go to a place like this?
The parlor looked flashy compared to the shops placed next to it. There were bright lights that made the name of the place pop to a customer's eye. Meropide. Despite the intimidating first look of it, it exuded a warm aura that called out to Neuvillette like a fireplace keeping a small family wrapped in blankets warm during a cold winter day.
His hands shook with a weird kind of trepidation as he opened the glass door and lifted his gaze to meet eye-to-eye with someone sitting by the parlor's counter. The person was wearing dark colors like the dull grays and blacks of Neuvillette's mind yet the pale eyes contrasting that darkness made him seem colorful.
Art by: me :)