Archive of Our Own ^beta

Why did he swim? What was the point, Haru wondered, as he made his way to his locker after school. He always thought that being free was enough, that no one's expectations of him could weigh him down, not when the water held him up. But he was wrong, and now he didn't know what he wanted. Now, the future stretched out before him and it was daunting, no longer something to be brushed aside and forgotten about.

He couldn't swim free anymore, the water didn't feel as alive as it once had. He was not like Rin, who had his dream from the beginning, so driven and determined. Rin was something he could never hope to be. He was lost, he was drowning.

He opened up his locker to grab his bag when he saw it.

What's this? He thought.

It was a keychain...of a mackerel? The keychain said 'Holy Mackerel' on it. Haru couldn't help but smile. He liked it. There was a little note attached:

I noticed you looked down. Hopefully this fish can make you smile.

He grabbed the things and headed to the pool for practice, trying to attach the keychain to his keys as he walked, running into Nagisa and Rei along the way.

"What's that Haru-chan?" Nagisa asked.

"It's a key chain. I found it in my locker."

"In your locker?" Nagisa questioned. "And it's not yours?"

"No," Haru replied.

"That does seem quite strange Haruka-senpai," Rei remarked.

"Yeah, maybe you have a secret admirer or something," Nagisa said.

"Was there a note?" Rei asked.

"No," Haru lied, not wanting to share this with them.

"Well it was in your locker so it couldn't have been a mistake. Besides it's a mackerel keychain and anyone who knows you, knows you love mackerel, Haruka-senpai, so it's definitely possible that Nagisa-kun is right-"

"You're reading too much into it," Haru interrupted, breaking away from the group.

The next day he received another note:

Your swimming is beautiful! Don't give up!

Haru felt a slight blush build up on his cheeks when he read it. Who was this person? Why would they care about him? Haru just couldn't understand. If someone liked him, why not just come out and say it? But when he brought this up to Makoto, he laughed.

"Haru, you don't realize this, but to people who don't know you well, you can be hard to approach, intimidating even, " Makoto said, "maybe the girl is just really shy."

"Oh," Haru replied, he hadn't realize that. No one had ever had a crush on him before, not that he knew of at least. He found himself wondering who this person was. What were they like? Did they swim?

For the next few weeks he kept getting more gifts, although the little bouquet of sakura blossoms and the origami dolphin were his two favorites, right up there next to the keychain. Each little gift was accompanied by a little note, which brightened his day, helping him slowly forget about the expectations weighing on him. It allowed him to be able to embrace the water again.

Haru wanted to meet this person, finding himself actively trying to act less intimidating over the next few days. He talked more and smiled more, even if it felt forced, but to no avail. The date of nationals crept closer, and Haru still had no idea who his admirer was.

He decided that he had waited long enough. It was time to catch them in the act. He ditched his last class and waited in the locker room. Sure enough, a girl came to his locker, opened it (Haru had no idea how she knew his combination), and deposited a note. He ran after her, and it was...

"Gou?" Gou turned around startled.

"Haruka-senpai!" She turned beet red. "Please it's not what you think!"

"Explain." Why had Gou been sending him these notes? She liked him?

"It wasn't- These notes weren't from me."

"What?"

"The notes are from onii-chan!" Gou confessed.

"Rin...?" What? That made no sense, why would Rin do this?

"I told him you were feeling sad and so he sent you the notes and the gifts through me. To cheer you up...he didn't think you wanted to see him, after what happened."

Haru was so confused, if Rin wanted to say something he could've just...then Makoto's words came back to him. You can be really hard to approach, intimidating even.

Rin was too intimidated to talk to him?

But why?

Rin had known him for such a long time. If anything, Haru should be the one to be too intimidated to talk to Rin, not the other way around...after all, it was Haru who had said such mean things. Rin hadn't deserve that, he was only trying to help.

If Rin had really sent these notes...did this mean he cared for him? Did he like him?

Haru couldn't believe that...Rin couldn't really like him. Why would he? He was always going on about how infuriating Haru was. It made no sense. It must be Rin's way of just trying to be a good friend. That was it. Nothing more.

And if Haru's heart broke just a little at that notion, that didn't matter.

~*~

Rin anxiously awaited everyday for news from Gou. He didn't like to rely on his sister, but he didn't go to Iwatobi High School so it wasn't as if he could deliver the notes himself. His phone beeped finally.

Gou - He got the gift! :D When are you gonna tell him?

Rin – Does he look happy?

Gou – His swimming isn't getting any better :(

Rin sighed. He remembered just how broken Haru had been after regionals, knew he was lost. Rin had felt the same. He was trying to do what he could from afar, but it didn't seem to be helping. Gou said that he was making an impact, had said that Haru had even blushed at one point, which Rin could scarcely believe. But his swimming wasn't getting better, not after the initial boost when Rin had first started giving him gifts. Gou had reported that team morale was down, too, and that their times were lagging. Haru's depression was infectious, dragging down everyone with him. Rin knew he had to do something. He couldn't let Haru dig himself further into this pit of despair. He cared too much for Haru to stand by and see him suffer like this.

The next day he received a frantic text from Gou.

Gou – Makoto told Haru he's going to university and Haru just ran! You gotta help him :'(

This wasn't good. Now it was time to do something more substantial, to show Haru a sight that he's never seen before!

He tried to call Haru, but when he hadn't answered his phone, Rin took the train to Iwatobi. He stopped at Makoto's house first, who let him in, grateful for the help.

"I've been so worried Rin," Makoto said. "Haru hasn't been himself lately."

"Well, I have an idea that might help." Rin showed him the two tickets he had, for a trip to Australia.

"Wow Rin. That's great!" Makoto exclaimed. "Do you think that will help?"

"Yeah," Rin said, rubbing his neck embarrassed, his face dusted pink. "And maybe, I think showing Haru what my life was like when I was away, and how I found my dream, will help him find his."

"That's really sweet of you Rin," Makoto said, relaxing a little. "I hope you get what you want too."

"What are you-"

"A mini-bouquet of sakura blossoms? Haru may be dense, but I'm not." Makoto explained. Rin turned beet red.

"I-I-"Rin stuttered and Makoto laughed.

"Don’t worry. I won't tell him, but you should. Maybe it will help." Rin doubted that. He would just weigh Haru down more, like he had already because of his expectations for him. The defeated look in his eyes when he had yelled at him during regionals was something Rin never wants to see again.

"Go to him," Makoto lightly ordered, nodding his head towards the door.

"But-"

"Don’t. He needs you right now, not me." Rin nodded.

"Okay," Rin said. He took his things and headed up the stairs to Haru's house. He knocked on the door but there was no answer.

"Come on Haru!" He called out. "I know you're in there! It's just me, nobody else okay? Please..." After a few minutes, just as he was about to try calling him again, Rin heard shuffling and the door opened.

"What do you want Rin?" Haru asked gruffly.

"I want to talk Haru. Is that okay?"

"Sure, whatever." Haru let Rin inside and they sat in the living room. "What is it?"

"I heard about what happened..."

"Did Makoto send you?"

"What? No!"

"Rei? Nagisa? Gou?"

"No! No one sent me Haru, I came because I wanted to!"

Haru snorted, "That's not true."

Rin looked at Haru confused. "What do you mean?"

"I know, Rin."

"Know what?"

"I know about the notes, okay? The bouquets and the love letters! Even this stupid keychain!" Haru threw the keychain at Rin who caught it. It was the first present he had gotten Haru when this all began. He had seen it in a convenience store and he loved it. He knew it was perfect for Haru. But now...he was throwing it at him?

"You know...?"

"Yeah. For a few days now," Haru said.

"Does this mean...?" Rin trailed off. It was clear. Haru had thrown the keychain at him, he clearly wasn't wanted.

"It means that your stupid charade is over now. You can stop pitying me now. I'll still swim in the relay, since that's so important to you that you thought that lying to me like this was worth it!" Haru spat.

"What?" Rin looked at Haru surprised. "Lying? Haru, I don't understand! And I don't think you do either!"

"Don't be an idiot Rin. You know I like you and you thought. Haru might not be able to swim in the relay, lets manipulate his feelings with little love notes so that he feels confident enough to do it. Well no. I'm done." Haru got up off the couch. "You can see yourself out." Haru started to head upstairs but Rin grabbed his arm.

"Haru wait! Please you've got it all wrong." He took the tickets out of his bag. "I came here to give you this." He gave them to him. "I wanted to go to Australia with you, show you a sight you've never seen before...and I wanted to go, together, as a couple. I meant what I said in those notes. I don't know where you got the idea that it was a joke, or a ruse, but you're wrong. Please Haru...you have to believe me... I love you."

"You...." Haru trailed off, disbelief playing on his face. Maybe... it wasn't so far fetched after all. "You love me?"

"Yes of course! With everything I have."

"...I'm sorry, this is just hard to take in. I really didn't think you would like me."

Rin smiled, "Of course I would like you, water freak." Rin laughed and, slowly, Haru did too, causing Rin to beam. It was so rare to see Haru laugh.

"Okay...then I guess we can give this a try. I'm not guaranteeing anything but, I think this could work," Haru said, and Rin beamed.

"Thank you, Haru. You won't regret it, I promise!" Rin exclaimed, unable to keep the broad smile off his face.

"Does this mean I can kiss you now?" Haru asked.

"Yeah," Rin replied with a soft smile. Haru stood on his tip toes, giving Rin a chaste kiss on the lips.

"How was that?" Haru asked, nervous, his face slightly red.

"It was perfect." Rin replied, leaning in for the next of many more kisses to come.