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Chapter Text

Regulus Black was not who he was supposed to be. His skin, meant to be perfect, was tainted with freckles across the bridge of his nose. His figure, meant to be intimidating and important, was small and skinny. He was not his father. His biologically predetermined fate had been swept away with one word.

“No.”

It was with that word that he refused the dark mark. It was with that word that he earned himself the worst physical and emotional pain he had ever endured. It was with that word that he was free.

It was the last word he ever spoke to his parents.

It was September second, 1977, the second day of his sixth year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, and Regulus was not hungry. It was lunchtime and his plate was piled high with shepherd's pie, courtesy of one Barty Crouch Jr, who had insisted on making his plate, but he merely picked at the food. It was one of his favorites, but his throat was tight with anxiety. He had gotten very little sleep, for fear of what might happen if he let his guard down. Granted, he had put a protective barrier around his bed and the people that might come after him were not mentally gifted, but he had been uneasy the whole night.

“Reggie, you’ve got to eat something,” Barty said through a mouthful of something blue. What did Hogwarts even serve for lunch that was blue?

“Close your mouth,” he grimaced, taking a reluctant bite of his food. Despite his swirling stomach, the taste was comforting, and he was able to take a few more small bites.

“I know something that will make you feel better,” Dorcas sing-songed.

Regulus looked up at his friend, giving her a small smile.

“And what might that be?”

She reached into her school bag and retrieved a flier, setting it on the table in front of Regulus.

The words Quidditch Tryouts were written in bold across the top.

“Already?” Asked Evan over top of his issue of the Daily Prophet. Regulus just shrugged and handed the paper back to Dorcas.

“Best to get a jump on these things. I’m not losing to Gryffindor again.”

Other than the early tryouts, the small amount of food in his stomach, and the pit of sickening dread that was growing in him, he was having a fairly normal day, and he walked unbothered to potions. Then his day got a whole lot more unpleasant.

“Hello, Black,” spat Mulciber, “Although, I’m not so sure that’s your name, is it, princess? What are you calling yourself these days?”

Regulus just rolled his eyes and adjusted the strap of his bag over his shoulder.

“Just Regulus would suffice.”

“You a Potter now like your pansy brother?” He sneered, stepping closer to Regulus. His breath was foul and his face was a disturbing combination of pudgy and angled. It set the hair on Regulus’ arms on end.

“My pansy brother sent you hurtling off your broom last year. Now, if you don’t mind, I need to get to potions.”

He pushed past the taller boy and slipped into the potions room. He felt strange. Regulus was not in the habit of defending his brother. The word he had parroted from Mulciber left a strange taste in his mouth and he longed for something to wash it away.

Barty had skipped this class it appeared, most likely to piss off his father, so Regulus was left to fend for himself. With the company of the school issued potions textbook and thoughts about Sirius, he completed the assignment without a word. He wished his classmates had done the same.They didn’t even bother to hide their stares or lower their voices.

“Did he really get kicked out?”

“Is he going to live with the Potters?”

“I heard the Dark Lord was there when he left.”

Regulus ground his teeth together and turned in his paper, bolting out the door the second class ended. That was his last class of the day since the animals for Care of Magical Creatures were not prepared for the first day of school. He ended up under a tree by the lake, curled up next to Pandora with a book while she wove flowers together. She hummed while she worked and Regulus smiled.

“How are you, Reggie?” she asked softly.

He set his book down and looked at her.

“I’m good,” he said simply with a short nod.

Pandora frowned and placed a wilting flower crown in his hair. 

“No, I mean how are you feeling? Have you talked to your brother?”

Regulus sighed and sat up, adjusting the crown. He had thought about visiting Sirius, but didn’t know what he would even say. They hadn’t spoken in months and he had gotten kicked out of the noble house of Black about three days ago. 

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?” he whispered.

Pandora placed her hand over his.

“I’m sure he’s just waiting for you to go to him.”

He thought this over quietly before returning to his book.

“Alright, I’ll visit him. After seeker tryouts, I don’t need any additional stress.”

Chapter Text

Sweat was pouring down James’ face and his glasses were clinging to him by sheer force of will. He had been flying around the pitch for three hours straight and he didn’t even have tryouts to prepare for, considering he was the captain. It was an energy thing. Okay, it was a stress thing.

He had spoken to the younger Black brother a total of three times, but he remembered how it was for Sirius when he got disowned and he couldn’t imagine what Regulus was going through. He felt so useless. Regulus wanted nothing to do with him, but who else was going to take care of him? Where was he going next summer? Godric, he could hear his savior complex as he thought about it.

He faintly registered a noise from the ground, and he looked down to see Sirius. He could recognize that hair anywhere. James did a dangerous dive and landed with an exaggerated flip of his hair.

“I’ve been calling your name for ages, mate. Dinner’s over, but I got Pete to bring food up to the dorm.”

James just nodded and headed to the changing room, breathing heavily. The Gryffindor quidditch changing room was one of James’ favorite places in the entire world. It smelled like old socks and broom polish and he loved it. He turned on the water as hot as it went and rinsed the long day off of him.

Nothing had happened necessarily, he was super excited to be back at school, but Sirius had been in a strop all day, and a bad day for Sirius meant a terrible day for James. He had only made one pass at Lily and his heart was barely in it. It never was anymore, really. It was just kind of a habit.

He hopped out of the shower to get dressed and walked out to meet Sirius, who was on the bleachers with Remus next to him.

“Where’d you come from, Moony?” He asked as the two stood up and started walking with him towards the castle.

“Heaven,” answered Sirius with a pat to Remus’ head. He ducked and threw a ‘silencio’ at him. 

“Mhhrgh!”

“That’s fascinating Pads.”

Sirius didn’t have his wand with him, so they walked back to the dorm in blissful silence. 

“Looking lovely as ever,” James announced to the portrait hiding the entrance to Gryffindor tower. She gave a delighted laugh.

“Password?”

“Liversnout.”

The door swung open and they all stepped into the common room to see…

“Regulus?” James choked. Remus wordlessly undid his spell on Sirius only for him to stand there dumbly.

Under his shock, James was delighted. He had been waiting for Regulus to visit Sirius. He really hadn’t expected him to come the first day of school, but he was so happy that he had.

“Hi Sirius,” said Regulus softly.

They all stood in silence for a moment before Remus graciously stepped in.

“Tea?”

Everyone agreed fervently and headed to the couches. Regulus sat on an overstuffed armchair with his hands folded neatly in his lap.

James cleared his throat, “Regulus, you can relax.”

“I am relaxed,” he said simply. Sirius nodded in conformation.

“Sirius, while I’m sure your friends are all very nice, I would prefer to talk to you in private,” Regulus said after a moment.

James froze before standing up awkwardly as Sirius made no move to respond. He reluctantly followed Remus up to their room and joined Peter on the floor for some sandwiches.

James felt awful. Sirius needed him. He couldn’t have this intense of a conversation without him. And who was Regulus to dismiss him like that? From his own common room?

“James, he’s going through a hard time. You remember how Sirius was,” Remus whispered.

“Did I say all that out loud?” He asked incredulously.

“You’ve a very expressive face,” said Peter through a bite of a ham sandwich.

James sighed and flopped back on the floor to stare at the ceiling.

“I wish he had come to us sooner.”

“Prongs, it’s the first day of school. He was kicked out three days ago.”

James turned to look at Remus.

“I mean I wish he had left when Sirius did. Godric, I can’t imagine what they put him through.”

“Don’t think about it,” Peter said, handing him a sandwich. He took a bite and tried to set the thoughts aside. What were they talking about down there?”

Chapter Text

Regulus had been nursing his mug of tea for two minutes and eighteen seconds in absolute silence. He had agreed to come visit Sirius after his conversation with Pandora and she convinced him to go that night before he lost the will to. As if he had the will to in the first place.

“Look, Sirius, I’m only here to-”

“I’m so proud of you,” he interrupted, voice cracking.

Regulus’ head snapped up. “What?”

“You left.” His brother was looking at him with more sincerity than he had seen all summer.

Regulus’ face had set in a grim line. He appreciated what Sirius was trying to do, but he wasn’t brave like him. He didn’t leave, he was forced out.

“I suppose,” is what he said instead.

Sirius sighed. “People been giving you shit?”

“No,” he said a little too quickly, taking a big sip of tea.

“Who?” demanded Sirius. Regulus rolled his eyes gently. Oh, how he had missed him.

“I ran into Mulciber today, but he’s always an ass. Nothing new.”

Sirius grimaced.

“I’m sure you’ve heard the rumors, but I’m willing to confirm if that’s what you’re wanting,” Regulus added in a rush.

He had hardly noticed the tears on his brother’s face until he started speaking once more.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I know Walburga. I know what she’s capable of. I believe you, Regulus.”

Oh. Oh, he believed him.

“Okay. I’ll tell you.”

……………………………………………………………………

August 31st, 1977

Grimauld Place

…………………………………………………………………….

Dinner at the Black manor was a quiet affair. The presence of the Dark Lord did little to change this. The only differences were the increase in the number of guests and stiffness of movements. The silence was suddenly broken by the clinking of glass.

“A toast,” said the young man whom Regulus was meant to worship, “to Regulus Black. Tonight, he elevates his moral status. Tonight, he is purified.”

A shiver shot down Regulus’ spine. That voice made him nauseous. Everyone raised their glass, each giving him a superior look.

“To the Dark Lord,” announced his mother.

“To the Dark Lord!” chimed in the party, even Regulus, for fear of his life.

The man placed a hand over his heart in gratitude. “Come now Regulus. Join me in the parlor.”

The boy stood on shaking legs and walked with him, followed by his mother. As they stepped into the adjacent room, Walburga closed the door behind them. Regulus tried his very best to breathe.

“You are afraid,” hissed the man. Of course he could tell. Regulus knew it would be useless to lie.

“Yes, my lord,” he coughed. The raven haired man stepped closer to him. He was young, hardly older than Regulus. How could someone so insignificant cause this much destruction?

The Dark Lord grabbed Regulus’ wrist and pulled back the sleeve of his dress robes to reveal a plain white forearm. He dug his wand into a pulsepoint and made forceful eye contact with him.

“A thousand apologies,” said Regulus, “But why are you doing this personally? Surely my mother could have initiated me herself.”

The wand dug deeper into his skin and his mother screeched from behind him.

“Regulus Arcturus Black! This is an honor!” 

“Calm yourself, Walburga. The boy is young. He is scared. Do not be afraid, Regulus. I am here to help you. Now, do you pledge yourself to my cause?”

He choked back tears. This was it. “Yes, my lord.” The room swam and the floor swayed beneath him. ‘What do I do? What do I do?’

“Do you promise to help purify the blood lines of wizards and eliminate all dirty blood?”

Regulus tasted bile and the tears were streaming freely now.

“I-” he choked, “I-”

The man pulled back slightly.

“Why do you hesitate?” he asked in a fatherly tone. Regulus’ whole body shook with fear and anger.

“My lord, forgive my son. Leave us a moment alone, I beg,” Walburga pleaded in a clipped tone. The man nodded and exited the room, shocking Regulus.

“Mother-”

“CRUCIO!”

He dropped instantly onto the carpeted floor, his muscles contracting. Tears and sweat mixed on his face as his whole body burned internally.

“Now do you see what happens to blood traitors? Now do you realize what you are risking? No son of mine will taint my bloodline!”

Regulus’ body gave one last violent twitch and the spell lifted. He choked, unable to move.

Voldemort reentered the room, followed by Bellatrix.

“I figured he might need some… familial persuasion,” he hissed.

Bella crouched down next to him and swept his sweaty hair off of his forehead.

“Reggie,” she whispered, “Be with us, we’ll keep you safe. The Dark Lord won’t let anyone hurt you. You could go to France, Reggie, you could travel anywhere. All you have to do is say yes.”

He let out a sob. Bellatrix picked him up and propped his arm over her shoulder so he could stand. His vision was littered with spots.

“My son,” cooed Voldemort, “Let this be a lesson to you. If you are not for me, you are against me, and those who are against me will meet a bitter end. So, let’s try again. Do you promise to help purify the blood lines of wizards and eliminate all dirty blood?”

Three pairs of eyes bore into his soul as he slipped in and out of reality. He thought only of his brother.

“No.”

Bellatrix dropped his arm as if it was burning her and he collapsed once more to the ground.

“YOU UNGRATEFUL CHILD! GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU ARE NO SON OF MINE!” His mother’s voice carried so that there was no doubt that everyone in the mansion had heard.

The Dark Lord kneeled by Regulus and grabbed him by the chin to jerk him forward.

“That’s not enough. You disgust me,” he spat, “AVADA-”

“REGGIE,” Bellatrix screeched and he had been knocked out.”

………………………………….

September second, 1977

Hogwarts

………………………………….

“I woke up on a bench at King’s Cross,” finished Regulus. His bones ached from the memory and the tears stung his eyes once more. Sirius was sobbing.

“Can I give you a hug?” he choked. Regulus laughed softly.

“A small one.”

Sirius walked over to him and crawled into the chair, curling himself around his younger brother like a dragon protecting its treasure. He felt himself sink into the embrace. He hadn’t been held like this since he was thirteen.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough,” He coughed, wiping tears off his face. His brother unfurled himself and stood up.

“I should get going, y’know, curfew.”

“Right, right. Thanks for stopping by,” said Sirius nonchalantly, “Visit any time. Please.”

“I will.”

And with that, he left, feeling heavier and lighter than when he had entered.