Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Every Saturday, Percy went to visit his mom, Paul and Estelle.

Sometimes Annabeth came with him, but this week she was busy overseeing the construction of her new temple for Zagreus. It was pretty neat-looking - made of solid black stone with three-dimensional, carved flowers covering the walls and a silver skull decorating the front door. A perfect homage to both of his parents, Hades and Persephone. So this time, Percy was going it alone.

Luckily, Percy had Saturdays and Sundays relatively free. This was the case for most people in camp - classes and work were for Monday through Friday, and the weekends were for relaxing and hanging out. That’s not to say there was nothing campers had to do on the weekend - the strawberry fields and infirmary still needed help, after all. But those duties were generally rotated around, so no one was stuck doing it every weekend. And while Percy was willing to help out, and he was relatively decent at both first-aid stuff and gardening, he didn’t have the same healing abilities as a child of Apollo or Asclepius, and he didn’t have the gardening skills of a satyr or child of Demeter. As a result, he was generally only asked to help out occasionally, and only on Sundays, as everyone knew what he set his Saturdays aside for. So normally, Percy spent his Saturdays with his immediate family, and his Sundays were reserved for dates with Annabeth, at least during the summer.

Around nine in the morning, Percy left for the stables, dressed in shorts and one of his many, many orange Camp Half-Blood T-shirts. He headed for Blackjack’s stall, pulling a paper bag out of his pocket, and pulled out the powdered jelly donut he’d grabbed from Dolphin Donuts during his morning swim.

“Hey Blackjack,” Percy said with a smile. “I got you something.”

Blackjack’s ears perked up, and his tail swished from side to side in a motion that could almost be described as ‘wagging’. Is it donuts? It’s donuts, right boss? His eyes caught on the jelly donut. Aw yes, score!

“Here you go, buddy,” Percy said with a laugh, holding out the donut, which Blackjack immediately grabbed with his teeth and swallowed down in the blink of an eye.

You’re the best, Boss, Blackjack said, then continued, So, you're going back to see your mom, right?

Percy smiled at him. “Got it in one. You ready to take me?”

Blackjack snorted. I’m always ready, boss. He trotted out of his stall, and spread his wings. Percy hopped up onto his back, and Blackjack took off up into the sky.

The thing about the trip from camp to the city is that by car, it took a full two hours, thanks to New York traffic. And public transportation, well…public transportation sucked everywhere in America, and Long Island was no exception. But, by pegasus or other flying contraption (like Festus), it only took around twenty minutes. This, the quick transportation for anyone who needs it, was just one of the many reasons why they kept so many pegasi at camp. Well, that and because pegasi were just really fun and cool.

The two of them sped through the air towards Sally’s apartment building. The wind ruffled Percy’s hair and Blackjack’s mane and cooled the both of them down, which was really great. This had been a really hot summer for New York so far, but, you know. Climate change, et cetera and so forth.

Finally reaching her building, Blackjack alighted on the roof, hooves clopping across the flat stone roof. Percy hopped off and Blackjack folded his wings in.

You all set, boss? Blackjack double checked, just to be safe.

“Yeah man, I’m good. Have fun, I’ll call you when I’m done.” Percy reached out and patted Blackjack’s flank in thanks.

Alright boss. See ya. Blackjack spread his wings and leapt off the roof into the air, turning, banking and flying off into the New York skyline.

Percy turned around and headed into the building through the roof door. Technically it was supposed to be locked, but the building super literally never remembered to lock it, so here he was. Heading down the stairs to the top floor, Percy headed in and knocked on Sally’s apartment door. After just a couple of seconds, the door swung open to reveal Sally, in a faded blue shirt and jeans and with her wavy brown hair tied up in a ponytail. Seeing him, Sally broke into a smile and swept Percy up in a hug. 

“It’s so good to see you, sweetheart,” Sally said softly into Percy’s ear. Then, breaking out of the hug and pulling back, she set her hands on his shoulders and smiled widely, crow’s feet showing at the corners of her eyes. “Looks like you’ve been getting taller, huh?”

“Barely, Mom. And you say that every weekend.” Percy laughed, inwardly pleased that she’d noticed. In the last few months he’d had a very small, very late growth spurt that resulted in him finally hitting six foot zero instead of five foot ten. Barely, but still. A win is a win.

Sally smiled back at him, clearly seeing how he really felt. “Come on in. Estelle just woke up from her nap.”

Percy walked in. The apartment was as warm, welcoming and familiar as ever. Being back felt nice, really nice. But…it wasn’t home. Not anymore.

As always, that realization made Percy feel a little sad, deep down. The fact that things had already changed so much in just a couple years. But, that’s life. Constant change. And sure, it was a little sad that his mom’s apartment didn’t feel like home anymore. But that just meant that Percy’s little apartment with Annabeth was his home now. And that wasn’t sad at all. In fact, it was pretty great.

That’s the thing about change. Sometimes it’s all bad, and sometimes it’s all good, but most of the time it’s good and bad mixed together in varying amounts. And in this case, this change was definitely more good than bad.

As Percy stepped out of the entryway and into the kitchen-slash-living room, he caught sight of Estelle sitting up in a playpen in the living room section, playing with some multicolored blocks. Smiling, he walked over and sat down in front of her.

“Hey sis,” Percy said softly, in the kind of high-pitched voice everyone uses when they talk to babies. “How’re you doing?”

Estelle blinked back at him. Her eyes were the same green shade as Percy’s, and they stared at him with wonder and a little bit of awe. Her mouth was hanging open, and she was drooling onto her bib. Then, a wide smile spreading across her face, she flung out her arms for a hug and yelled, “Pery! Pery here!”

Percy laughed a little, and reached out to pick her up and give her a hug. Lifting Estelle over the playpen wall and into his arms, Percy noticed that she was a little heavier than she’d been last weekend. Which made sense - babies grew fast, and Estelle was getting pretty big. At this point, she was nearly sixteen months - wait. No, today was July seventeenth, so - she was sixteen months old. Wow, time sure was flying by.

Percy squeezed Estelle a little tighter at that thought. She was warm and squishy like most babies were. He held her until she started wriggling, clearly getting a little tired of being held. At this, Percy kissed her short black hair and put her back into the playpen before stepping in himself and sitting down right in front of her.

“So, Stella,” Percy said softly, with a smile. “What’re we building today?”

The answer was apparently, a carefully balanced pile of all-yellow blocks. The ‘all-yellow’ part was apparently important, based on how Estelle had screamed the one time Percy had tried to add a red block to the pile. Percy actually had to leave the playpen twice to fetch more yellow blocks from the nursery when their stock started getting dangerously low, but he didn’t mind. This, this time with his little sister? It was amazing. Percy wouldn’t trade his life with Annabeth for the world, but if there was ever anything that made him consider moving back here, it was Estelle.

But, that wasn’t exactly realistic - Percy’s life, his job, school, his friends, they were all in New Athens and New Rome. And it wasn’t like he was stuck on the other side of the country or anything. Percy lived twenty minutes away by Blackjack, and while he couldn’t be here all the time, he made sure to visit nearly every weekend, and a few times during the week whenever their schedules all lined up. Basically, he was as present in Estelle’s life as he realistically could be, and that was enough.

By the time Paul showed back up from his pickleball game, which was apparently some kind of middle-aged guy sport, Percy had been playing with Estelle for just over two hours and lunch was almost ready. In the past Percy would help his mom make every meal, but now, well. Just one more change they wound up making.

Once Percy had gotten up and set the table (and sacrificed a couple bites to the gods), they all sat down and started eating their food, which was jambalaya. Which, amazing. It was one of Percy’s favorite things to make - though, he used even more spice and blue food coloring in it than Sally did.

Percy smiled at his mom. Sally didn’t make blue food as often as she used to, but she always made sure to make some whenever she knew he’d be coming over. Plus, she always made his favorites, which was great.

Estelle sat in her high chair next to Percy and babbled as he fed her spoonfuls of baby food in between his own bites of jambalaya. Normally, Sally or Paul would do this, but Percy had limited big-brother time, and he planned to use it to the fullest extent possible.

As they ate, the three of them - Sally, Paul and Percy - talked about their lives. Paul talked about work and pickleball, and asked questions about Greek and Roman stuff as always. Sally mostly talked about her new book and her job as a middle school English teacher, plus just life in general. And Percy talked about his life at camp, the classes he was teaching, his friends and how things were going with Annabeth.

And then, as they were finishing up their food, Paul dropped the big question that Percy had not planned for at all, or even really thought they’d ask.

Paul smiled over at Percy and said ambivalently, offhandedly, “Oh, by the way, you mentioned a few weeks ago that you were meeting with Olivia more often. How’s that going so far?”

Percy froze in place, smile stiffening and cracking. Right. Of course they’d ask that. Of course they would. It just…made sense, really.

Once Percy had increased his sessions, he’d mentioned it to Paul and Sally to explain why his visiting times might change a little. And then when the summer campers showed up and camp got back into full swing, and his appointments were moved to the evening after the camp activities, Percy mentioned that too. But when he’d done so, he’d tamped down his panic and been as vague and ambiguous about the reasoning behind the increased appointments as possible, and basically just let them think that they were about normal demigod stuff, like Tartarus. And he’d hoped and prayed silently that this subject would never ever come up ever again.

But here he was. And now, it was time to brush all of this off as best he could.

Percy laughed a little awkwardly, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. Flushing a little red, he did his best to plow through his answer.

“Oh, uh - it, it’s going pretty well, you know? Making a lot of progress, and stuff. It’s, uh, really helpful, with everything.” Percy coughed a little to clear his throat as he clumsily attempted to redirect the conversation. “Uh, anyways, how’s your, uh, pickle…ball…going?” Percy asked, inwardly cringing at his own awkward words.

Sally leaned forwards a bit, nervously looking over at Percy, clearly picking up on the tension in the air. Oblivious, Paul kept on going.

“Oh, it’s going pretty well. Won my match today, so that’s neat.” He took a bite of his food, chewed, swallowed and kept speaking. “Anyway, I just wanted you to know, Percy, that, well…you can always come to us, okay? If there’s anything you ever need to talk about, you can always come to us.” Paul flashed Percy a warm, paternal smile, as if to reassure him that everything was alright.

Percy just stiffened up even more. Because Paul was wrong. Because he couldn’t. He just, he couldn’t ‘go to them’. Not with this. He just - he couldn’t. It was too much.

Sensing Percy’s nerves, Sally took the opportunity to intervene. “Of course, you don’t need to tell us anything if you’re not ready, sweetheart.” She spoke softly and warmly, with a soft smile on her face.

“Oh, of course not!” Paul added, waving his hands in denial. “I don’t - I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything, Percy, I just - want you to know that you can rely on us, if you feel like it, is all.”

Percy smiled stiffly back at them, feeling warm and freezing cold at the same time. “Thanks, Paul. I’ll…I’ll keep that in mind.” Looking down, he quickly scarfed down the last few bites of his jambalaya and took his plate over to the sink to wash off. As he did so, Paul and Sally finished their own food and followed suit, the three of them clearing off the table and cleaning everything up.

“Alright now,” Sally said with a smile once the table had been completely cleared off. She handed Percy a blue chocolate-chip cookie that she apparently summoned out of thin air, and pointed him towards the table, where Estelle was still sitting in her high chair, applesauce smeared all over her face. “Go clean up your sister.”

Percy leaned against the counter and ate his cookie, then walked over to Estelle and followed orders, wiping her face off with a napkin before picking her up and carrying her to the nursery, where he set her down for her post-lunch nap.

Estelle’s nursery was ocean-themed, deep blue walls covered in stickers and posters depicting fish, octopi, sea turtles and more. The ceiling was covered in stick-on, glow-in-the-dark stars, and the floor was covered in colorful blocks and various stuffed animals that Percy had to carefully avoid. In a corner of the room, there were a few near-empty boxes meant to hold all the toys currently littering the floor, and in another there was a bookshelf holding books in English, Spanish, Latin and Greek. Percy walked over and nearly picked up a Greek story, before impulsively shifting and picking up a Spanish-language Cinderella book.

Percy smiled down at the book cover. Sally’s mom, Percy’s grandma, had been Argentinian, and she’d taught Sally Spanish, which she’d then taught to Percy. Percy was fluent, sure, but he didn’t really use it much - he could read it a little better than English, but not nearly as well as Greek or Latin. Plus, he barely knew anyone who spoke Spanish other than his mom - although. Now that he thought about it, Leo did speak Spanish, fluently. Percy hummed consideringly to himself. He was set to meet up with Leo on Thursday for a sword-fighting lesson that Leo desperately needed - maybe Percy would bring this all up with him then. That, or he’d just start spouting off in fluent Spanish and gleefully observe Leo’s reaction.

It was probably going to be the second one.

Percy turned and walked back over to Estelle’s crib. It was a pretty good thing Sally and Paul had already started teaching her multiple languages - Percy had every intention of showing Estelle the brighter sides of the demigod world when she was older, which would be tough if she didn’t know the language.

Sitting down in the chair next to Estelle’s crib, Percy opened the book and looked over at her. Estelle stared back at him with wide green eyes, casually sucking on her fist. With a small smile, Percy opened the book and began to read her the bedtime story.

“Érase una vez, en una tierra muy, muy lejana, una muchacha llamada Cenicienta…”

***

After lulling Estelle to sleep, Percy returned the book to the bookshelf and spent the next couple hours playing Catan with Sally and Paul. It wasn’t the most entertaining game in the world, sure, but it was calming in a way. And sometimes, calming is exactly what you need.

Eventually, Estelle woke up, and Percy spent some more time playing with her. They’d moved on from blocks to stuffed animals. Estelle played with a stuffed black pegasus Percy had gotten her, while Percy played with a crocheted Triceratops to keep her company. Estelle didn’t take much initiative, because she was a literal baby, so Percy set up a bunch of Estelle’s other stuffed animals and started rampaging their Triceratops and pegasus through the crowd, brutally and imaginarily maiming multiple toy bears, monkeys and a strikingly detailed stuffed rainbow fish. And based on Estelle’s squealing laugh, she clearly loved the game.

Around three, Percy finally decided it was time to leave. So he hugged his mom, Paul and Estelle goodbye, and headed to the roof where he called Blackjack.

Blackjack appeared after just a few seconds, smelling strongly of coffee and frosting.

Alright boss, let’s get out of here. Blackjack sounded a bit jittery, almost like he was worried about something.

Percy frowned, a bit confused. “Uh, okay. Do you want to get some donuts on the way? There’s a Dunkins right around the corner.”

Blackjack quickly shook his head, mane swinging back and forth. Uh, nah boss, it’s fine. I’m kinda tired, so I think we should just head straight back to camp. Now.

Percy felt even more confused at this - Blackjack always wanted donuts. But, he had been flying around for nearly six hours - it made sense that he’d be a little tired.

“Alright Blackjack. Let’s go home.” Percy hopped onto the pegasus’ back, and the two of them took off into the late afternoon sky.

After around twenty minutes, Blackjack reached camp and landed by the stables. Percy led him back to his stall and headed into New Athens, ready to spend a little time with Annabeth before he went on his evening swim.

Reaching apartment 414, Percy walked in to see Annabeth relaxing on the couch and watching the news, a pinched expression on her face like she was trying to stop herself from laughing.

Percy smiled. “Hey Wise Girl. What’s going on?” He pulled off his shoes and walked over and sat down on the couch.

Annabeth smiled, still looking like she was trying really hard to laugh. “Hey Seaweed Brain. Anything…unexpected happen today?”

Percy shook his head, feeling a little confused again “No, not really - I just hung out with Mom, Paul and Stella. Why?”

Annabeth’s smile widened into a grin, barely able to contain herself. “Well…” She broke off and gestured towards the television screen. 

Percy looked over, and his jaw dropped.

The TV was showing grainy security camera footage of the inside of a Dunkin’ Donuts - the one right by Sally and Paul’s apartment, in fact. And the footage showed a wingless Blackjack galloping in, leaping over the counter and attacking the shelves of donuts with his mouth, all while the customers and cashiers alike fled in terror.

Still in shock, Percy watched as the channel cut back to the news anchor, a pretty blonde lady with an almost painfully false look of sympathy on her face. As Percy stared in disbelief, the news lady began to speak.

“Today in New York, chaos erupted in multiple bakeries across Manhattan as a wild horse rampaged through them, devouring and destroying as many pastries as it could get its hooves on.” Her painted-on eyebrows drew together as her overfilled lips pursed into a cringe-inducing pout. “While no one was hurt, damages are believed to be in the tens of thousands, as this horse’s rampage destroyed not only pastries, but chairs and tables, as well as more complex pieces of machinery such as cash registers and coffee makers. Eventually, animal control was called. However, as soon as the officers managed to corner this wild horse, it apparently vanished into thin air. Authorities are baffled as to where this horse came from and how it escaped the animal control officers - however, there have been a few strange accounts from witnesses who claimed that the horse had wings, as well as one individual who claimed that the horse escaped the authorities by spreading its wings and taking to the sky.” The news lady pulled on a skeptical mask, which was at least a little easier on the eyes than her bizarre pout. “The police are currently investigating these individuals for drug-related activity.”

Instantly switching to an unnaturally white smile, the news lady continued. “Now, we’re going to cut to commercials. When we come back, we’ll talk about the new ‘affordable housing’ development for the homeless currently being proposed in the center of Manhattan. We’ll look into the important questions, such as, what kind of people will be staying in these apartments? Is it safe for your family to be in such close proximity to a heavy concentration of drug addicts and people who can’t control their behavior? All this and more at -”

Annabeth grabbed the remote and switched the TV off, a disgusted look overtaking her face. Quickly shaking it off, she turned to Percy with a wide grin. “So, Seaweed Brain. Anything you want to say?”

Percy just turned his head to stare back at Annabeth, jaw hanging open in shock.

No longer able to contain herself, Annabeth burst into peals of laughter, the sound ringing throughout the apartment. As she fell into a giggling fit, Percy groaned and put his head in his hands.

Chiron was going to have a field day with this.

***

Chiron did in fact have a field day with this.

As a result of his rampage, Blackjack was grounded and confined to camp grounds for the foreseeable future and subjected to retraining, and Percy was going to have to take one of the other pegasi out for his family visits. Really, it was a miracle that was all that Chiron did. Percy had definitely expected worse. 

Really, Percy should probably leave Blackjack to think over what he’d done, but on the other hand…the stalls weren’t going to give him donuts. So, Percy planned to make sure to swing by every day with a donut to talk with and spend some time with Blackjack.

Still, Percy managed to escape punishment, mostly because he had no idea Blackjack was going to attack every donut place in Manhattan. So Percy was still able to spend Sunday hanging out with his friends and going on date night with Annabeth. 

Monday came around, and with it, the resurgence of Percy’s work schedule. He spent the day teaching the younger campers classes in things like swimming, canoeing and sword-fighting. It was going pretty well - the canoeing classes were pretty small, sure, but the swimming classes were a decent size, and a lot of people showed up to the sword-fighting classes, which is why Percy generally spent the majority of his time teaching those.

And as always, evening came around. And after his last class ended at three-thirty, Percy quickly showered, got changed and jogged out to his therapy appointment at four.

Back in June, when his days had been wide open, Percy’s appointments had mainly been during the day. But now that camp had started back up, the appointments had been moved to the evening to better accommodate his schedule.

Percy arrived at Olivia’s building at three fifty-seven. Cutting it pretty close, but that’s just how it is when you have half an hour between class and therapy, isn’t it?

Percy hurried into the waiting room, and was immediately called into Olivia’s office.

Percy walked in and sat down in his normal brown armchair. Olivia was looking unusually relaxed today, seeming to be a bit more at ease than usual. Sitting back with her legs crossed and tapping her pen on her clipboard, Olivia started the appointment off with a smile.

“So, Percy, how was your weekend?”

Percy smiled back and immediately launched in, talking about Estelle and describing Blackjack’s rampage, which actually got a real laugh out of her. Percy kept talking, about his mom, Paul, his friends, Annabeth, and the campers he was training as an instructor. And the whole time, his left leg nervously jigged up and down and his hands kept twisting and untwisting the fabric of his T-shirt.

Percy knew that Olivia saw the signs of his nervousness, but she allowed him to talk about everything else before asking about it. About fifteen minutes in though, Percy ran out of stuff to talk about, and that’s when Liv came in with the steel chair.

“Alright, Percy,” Olivia said with a smile. “Now, is there anything… important, that you would like to talk about?”

Percy froze at her words. He knew she was going to ask. He knew he needed to talk about it. In a way, he even wanted to talk about it, sort of, so that he’d at least have a second opinion on…everything. He just - he didn’t feel ready.

Percy never felt ready.

Percy looked down anxiously, removing his left hand from his shirt and setting it on his knee, forcing it to go still. His right hand kept twisting the shirt hem around itself, and Percy forced himself to move his right hand away and set it on his right knee as well.

It was awful. It was like his blood was itching, needing to move. But for some reason, this, being still - this felt important. It felt like Percy was supposed to be still right now, at least for a few seconds.

Slowly, Percy chose the words he needed to say.

“I, uh…I just, I - this weekend, when I went to Mom’s place, Paul, he - he asked about, about these sessions, and how they’re going. And I kind of, uh, froze up, I guess.” Percy gave a little, self-deprecating laugh, hunching inwards a little and staring down at his hands, which were clutching his knees in a white-knuckled grip. “And Paul, he kind of…after I responded, he said that, that I could come to him and mom for anything, and that they were there for me. And I just, I guess I need to kind of…talk about that, a little.” Percy glanced up at Olivia.

She was still sitting in a relaxed position with a smile on her face, but now her smile had shrunk and she had a new look of concern in her eyes. Tucking her clipboard into her lap, Olivia leaned forwards towards Percy a bit, twirling her pen around her fingers as she spoke.

“Percy, it’s great to hear that. However, I’m noticing that you’re…struggling, with your normal methods of stimming right now. Would you like a fidget cube or a zen tangle to help you focus your energy?”

Percy perked up a little. It felt important that he stay still, but…he also was feeling really itchy. And he’d been still for a little while, so it was fine, you know? He could let off some steam now. Plus, it would probably make this upcoming discussion easier.

Percy nodded, got up and walked over to a nondescript shelf against the wall that had a habit of blending into the wall, likely because they were almost the exact same shade of beige. Percy grabbed a tangle from a tupperware of various fidget toys and walked back to his seat. Sitting down, Percy looked up at Olivia and started playing with his tangle as his leg unconsciously began jigging up and down again.

Olivia smiled back at him, the concern in her eyes fading a bit. “Okay, Percy. Now, can you tell me what it is that you want to discuss, in reference to Paul’s words?” Her voice was reassuringly soft, with a sort of empathetic curiosity suffusing every syllable.

Percy looked back down at his brightly colored tangle, watching as his fingers twisted it around. “Well, uh…I just, Paul said that I could tell them anything. And I know I can, I just…don’t know if I should?” Percy risked a glance up at Olivia’s face. Seeing nothing new, he ducked his head back down and continued.

“I just…everything we’ve talked about, about Luke. And I know now, that my relationship with him has impacted me, okay? I know that. So, shouldn’t my mom know about something like this? Shouldn’t I tell her, about something that has affected me like this?” Percy gripped his tangle harder, twisting it with more force as his words became sharp and bitten off, slowly filling with anger directed at himself. “I just…I should tell her. I know I should. But…I don’t want to. I just - fuck. I just, I don’t want her to feel bad about this or anything, and I know she will, so I can’t tell her, but I should tell her, and just - fuck. You know?” With the last two words, Percy’s voice drained of anger and tipped up questioningly.

Olivia was silent for a moment. Then, she spoke.

“Percy, I want to make something clear, all right? You do not owe anyone a description of your trauma. Not even your mom. If you decide that you want to tell her, Percy, that is entirely up to you. And if you decide that you never want her to know, that’s your choice too. You don’t owe your story to anyone. It’s yours to share or keep private, whichever you choose. Do you understand?”

Reluctantly, Percy nodded. He didn’t, not really - he understood what Olivia was saying, but he didn’t understand the why behind it. He’d heard her say that thing about how he wasn’t obligated to tell anyone a lot, and both Annabeth and Grover backed Liv up on this, so Percy could accept it as true. He just didn’t understand why it was true, is all.

Still, it was nice to think that he didn’t owe all of this to other people. Percy had always felt kind of…guilty, for not telling people, while also feeling even more guilty over the idea of actually telling people, so it was kind of nice, this idea that Percy didn’t actually need to feel guilty about not telling anyone for several years. Not particularly convincing, but nice.

So, head hanging low, Percy nodded, tacitly accepting Olivia’s words without asking for clarification. Seeing his nonverbal response, Olivia continued.

“Percy, can you tell me what troubles you, when you think about telling your mom about Luke?”

Percy was quiet for a moment. Thinking about it, about telling his mom…it was hard. He didn’t want to think about it. But he knew he should.

So he did. 

Percy focused on the idea of it, on the idea of sitting down with his mom and telling her about Luke. And he thought about what it was that he was so worried about.

Percy wasn’t all that worried about his mom’s opinion of Luke. That revelation came as a bit of a surprise, but when Percy really thought about it, it made perfect sense. His mom had never met Luke in-person, only heard about him, so she didn’t have a relationship with Luke to damage. And she was clearsighted, sure, but Sally wasn’t really stuck in the Greek world the way demigods and satyrs and other Greek creatures were, so her opinion on Luke wouldn’t really affect how the demigod community viewed him. And of course, there was the fact that Sally’s opinion of Luke had already hit rock bottom. Sally was generally a pretty forgiving person, but if there was one thing she couldn’t forgive, it was someone going after Percy or Estelle. So ever since the scorpion, she’d been Luke’s number one hater. Basically, Sally’s opinion of Luke couldn’t get all that much lower, so this bit wasn’t really an issue here.

Then there was the issue of whether or not she’d believe Percy. And, well…Percy could admit that he was a little worried about it. The fear of it, of being disbelieved, gnawed away at something in his chest and spun round and round in the back of his mind. But as uncomfortable as it was, the fear wasn’t anywhere near as big and all-encompassing as it had been when Percy had first considered telling Annabeth, or even as big as when he’d been thinking about telling Grover.

Percy wasn’t entirely sure why this was, exactly. Maybe it was because his mom had never met Luke and already didn’t like him, and so had no reason to believe in him, unlike Annabeth and Grover. Maybe it was because Percy had already told Annabeth and Grover, and he was slowly getting used to telling people, slowly getting used to being believed. Or maybe it was because his mom had always been there for him. Maybe it was because no matter what, Percy’s mom had always had his back, always been there for him, ever since he could remember. She was the one person that Percy had never considered might voluntarily leave or choose someone else over him. Even with Annabeth, Percy knew there had been a time when there was a chance that she would choose Luke over him, not to mention that time he’d been terrified that Annabeth would join the Hunt. Percy had never worried about anything like that with his mom. Not once.

Maybe it was one of those things. Or maybe it was a combination of all three.

Either way, the result was the same. And the result was that for the first time, Percy didn’t even have to ask Olivia to know that someone would almost definitely believe him.

So what was he worried about? What was the big thing keeping Percy from confessing?

Percy knew what it was.

He didn’t want to upset her.

Whenever someone found out about him and Luke, they tended to get a bit…upset. To say the least. Upset, and horrified, and heartbroken. And Percy didn’t want that for his mom. He didn’t want to look into her face and see the horror in her eyes. He didn’t want her to feel bad about this, in the way that he knew she would if he told her.

It was that simple, really. Percy didn’t want to upset his mom. That’s all.

Percy looked back up at Olivia. She was looking straight back at him, a kind, sympathetic look on her face.

“I don’t want to upset her.”

For a second, Percy didn’t realize that he was the one who said those words. They were spoken in such a strained, distressed tone he barely even recognized the voice as his own. Still, they were his words, and for a moment they hung in the air, like a cloud of chlorine gas.

Apparently oblivious to the metaphorical chemical weaponry surrounding them, Olivia responded to Percy’s words in a reassuring voice, with a small smile gracing her face.

“Percy, do you remember what we talked about, when you first brought up the idea that Annabeth might resent you for telling her about Luke?”

Percy hunched inwards at her words, flushing red. He did remember. He remembered bringing it up, and he remembered bringing it up again in joint therapy, and finding out that he’d been completely wrong. At the time he’d just been confused, but now looking back, he actually felt a little embarrassed. He’d completely jumped to conclusions about how Annabeth felt without even talking to her, all based on his own doubts and dumb thoughts. And then they’d all had to spend a decent chunk of their joint therapy time hashing it all out. It had been pretty dumb, even for Percy, and it seemed pretty silly, looking back.

Percy wasn’t entirely sure why Olivia was bringing this up now. But he knew that Olivia generally had a reason behind her strange questions and comments. So, Percy nodded. “Uh, yeah. I remember.”

Olivia nodded back at him in response. “I’m glad to hear that, Percy. And do you remember what we talked about, when you mentioned that telling Annabeth the truth made her upset?”

Percy nodded, a little confused. “Uh, yeah. You said we could talk about it in therapy and stuff, right?”

Olivia smiled and nodded. “Yes. And there was something else we mentioned, remember?”

Percy glanced away and thought back on that conversation, brow wrinkling. Olivia was clearly talking about something specific, so what - oh.

Percy looked back at Olivia, a slightly sheepish look crossing his face. “Uh, yeah. You said that, that it was worth being upset if it meant you could help someone you cared about, right?”

Olivia nodded back at him. “Yes, Percy. Now, do you think your mom would agree with that? Do you think she would be alright with knowing the truth, and being upset, if it meant she could help you?”

Slowly, Percy nodded. Because she would. She would always choose to help him, no matter the consequences for her personally.

Olivia smiled back at him, keeping his gaze. “I’m happy to see that, Percy. Now, do you have any other concerns about telling your mom?”

Percy stayed still for a few seconds, tilting his head down. He didn’t nod, he didn’t shake his head. He just stayed still.

He did have concerns. He did, he just - he didn’t have any reason behind his concern. He just had this, gaping pit of worry and fear in his stomach, with no reason behind it.

Percy wanted to say that he didn’t want his mom to know. And in a way he didn’t - he didn’t want to upset her, he didn’t want to see the look on her face - but. But beyond all that…Percy wanted his mom to know. He wanted her to know, and for her to reassure him that…that it hadn’t been his fault. That he was still good, that - that this didn’t change him into something bad. Even if it wasn’t entirely true.

He just - he needed to do this right. Telling someone - it had gone well with Grover, but with Annabeth… that had been a disaster. Percy wasn’t ready to experience something like that again.

Percy looked back up at Olivia. Opening his mouth, Percy searched for the words he needed to say, and after a few seconds he began to talk.

“I just - I don’t have any more concerns, exactly, I guess, I just - I’m still…worried, and…scared.”

That was still hard to admit. Not just being worried, but being scared too. Because it was ridiculous. It was stupid, to be scared of something like this. Percy had been through a ton of things way worse than fucking talking to his mom - the wars, all the quests, fucking Tartarus. There was no reason, no reason at all, for him to be this fucking scared of telling his mom about this -

“Percy,” Olivia spoke, interrupting his train of thought. “Is everything okay?”

Percy’s chest felt tight. He was breathing quickly, in and out, but he still felt lightheaded. His heartbeat was jackrabbiting away in his ears, and he felt like iron bands had wrapped around his chest and were squeezing the air out of his lungs.

He felt like he was dying.

“Percy, focus on me.” Olivia commanded, an urgent tone in her voice. Percy looked up, struggling to breathe. She was crouching right in front of him, hands extended and hovering over his arms, as if she wasn’t sure whether she should touch him or not.

“Percy, I want you to look around and name five things you can see, okay?” Olivia spoke firmly and calmly despite the circumstances, an island of peace in the eye of the storm.

Percy looked around frantically, trying to find five things. “Uh, the aquarium. The, the couch, your chair, uh…the wall? And, and you, I guess. That - that’s five, right?” Percy wrapped his arms tightly around himself, hunching over a little as he turned his gaze back to Olivia.

She smiled back at him. “Very good, Percy. Now, four things you can hear?”

Percy nodded anxiously. “Uh, my heartbeat. My breathing, your voice, and…and…” He couldn’t think of anything. “I - I can’t hear anything else, I’m sorry.” Percy broke Olivia’s gaze and looked down, seeing teardrop marks on the fabric of his shorts. It was only when he saw them that he realized he’d started crying.

“Percy, look at me,” Olivia said quickly, urgently. Percy looked up. She was giving him a solid smile, with something fragile behind it. Apparently coming to a decision, she moved her hands and grasped his upper arms, steadying him. “If you don’t hear four things, that’s okay, all right? Let’s move on. Three things you can touch.”

Percy nodded, keeping eye contact and holding onto it like a lifeline. “Uh, okay. Uh…my shirt.” He hugged himself even tighter, hands gripping the fabric of his T- shirt. “Uh, your hands. And…and…” He quickly unwrapped his left arm, touched the arm of his armchair, then returned it to its place. “And, the chair. Okay?”

Olivia nodded. “Okay, Percy. Now, two things you can smell?”

Percy nodded back. “Okay, two things, uh…” He focused really hard and - huh. There was a really faint smell of… “Cinnamon and vanilla?” He looked questioningly at Olivia.

She smiled companionably at him. “The patient before you likes to have a scented candle lit during our sessions.” She let go of Percy’s arms, reached into her pocket and pulled out a Peppermint Altoids tin. Popping it open, she pulled out a mint and snapped the tin closed, returning it to her pocket, Olivia held the mint out to Percy who reached out and took it. His arms had loosened their grip, and he was no longer tensely hunching in out of fear, but rather slouching a bit from exhaustion. Percy popped the mint into his mouth, closed his eyes and focused on the taste.

In the dark behind his eyelids, Percy heard Olivia speak. “One thing you can taste?”

Percy smiled a little despite himself. “Uh, mint, I guess.” He opened his eyes and looked back at her, feeling shaky but much, much better. “I’m okay. Promise.”

Olivia kept up her smile. Slowly, she stood up and walked back to her chair, where she sat down. She’d set her clipboard down on the side table, but for some reason she didn’t pick it back up.

Percy looked down, feeling kind of…no. Feeling really embarrassed. “Uh, sorry about that,” he said with a self-deprecating laugh, inwardly wincing at how hoarse his voice sounded. “I, uh, that…that was a little much, I know, so. Sorry.”

Percy kept his eyes on his sneakers, feeling awful. He hated panic attacks. He didn’t get them too often, only once or twice a week or so, but still. They sucked. He hadn’t had one in front of anyone other than Olivia so far, thank the gods - he always managed to get away and isolate himself whenever he felt one coming on, at least so far. But still. This…he needed to get over it. What if he had a panic attack one day when he was fighting monsters? He’d get himself and anyone with him killed. Percy needed to just fucking get over this shit.

“Percy,” Olivia interrupted his train of thought. He looked up at her face, which was wearing a soft and compassionate smile. “Percy, you have nothing to apologize for, all right? You haven’t done anything wrong. What just happened was your body reacting to a perceived threat. You don’t need to apologize for that.”

Slowly, Percy nodded. He didn’t really get it - he’d had to face threats before in the form of monsters, and his body had always reacted the right way, with extreme violence. Still, from Percy’s experience, Olivia was generally either right or close to right when it came to these kinds of things, so he was willing to accept her words. For now.

He still needed to get over this, of course. But for the time being…it was nice, to believe what Olivia was saying. So, he could bring up fixing all this later, in another appointment. He definitely had the time - he had appointments every day except for Wednesday and the weekend.

Olivia looked pleased at Percy’s silent acceptance of her words. “All right then. Now, Percy, would you be willing to tell me what train of thought led to your panic attack? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, of course.”

Percy nodded absentmindedly, trying to find the right words to explain. “Uh, yeah. I just - I was thinking about telling Mom, and about how I was kind of scared of telling her, and. And I just, I started thinking about everything else I’ve handled just fine, and how fucking pathetic I was for freaking out about this after the wars and Tartarus and -”

“Percy,” Olivia interrupted him. “Percy, focus on my voice.”

At her words Percy went quiet. His breathing was starting to speed up again, his chest starting to constrict, and -

“Percy. Percy, focus on me, okay? Focus. Now, deep breaths, okay? In and out. In…out. In…out.” Olivia began doing this kind of slow breathing, indicating to Percy to follow along.

Percy did so. At first it felt a little silly, but as he followed her lead, the panic slowly started to subside, his chest got looser and his breathing got easier.

After a couple minutes, Percy calmed down enough to speak. “That - that’s enough, Liv. I, I think I’m good.”

Olivia smiled back at him. “All right, Percy.” She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear, then leant forward and stared at him intensely. “Now, Percy…do you know why this subject is such a trigger for you?”

At her words, a feeling of defiance rose in Percy’s chest. It wasn’t a trigger, it was just - it was just a subject that caused him to react badly whenever it was brought up, that’s all. Not a trigger at all.

That’s exactly what a trigger is.

Shut up, Percy thought to himself. It didn’t matter if it was a trigger or not, not really. Of course, it wasn’t a trigger, but even if it was that wouldn’t matter, not really. What mattered was the reason behind his reaction. 

Percy looked down and tried to think about it. To think about how he felt when he’d talked about…being scared. But for some reason, his mind kept shying away from it. Partially because he didn’t want to think about it, partially because he didn’t want to risk having another… reaction, and, well…

And because there was no reason behind it.

Percy was trying to find one, he really was. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t think of a reason that would explain why he’d freaked out the way he did.

There was a reason. There had to be, he knew it. He just…didn’t know what the reason was.

Percy looked back up at Olivia. “I don’t know.” He spoke quietly, with a dead note to his voice. “I don’t know why this is - why I reacted that way. I’m sorry.”

Olivia nodded sympathetically. “That’s alright, Percy. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. Now, do you want to look into this now, or do you want to do this another time?”

Never. I never want to do this.

“Uh, another time. Please.” Percy responded quickly. Ideally, he would never have to talk or think about this again, but. By now, he knew that therapy was mostly talking and thinking about stuff you didn’t want to talk or think about, so. Yeah. Putting this off for later was good enough for now.

“Okay, Percy.” Olivia smiled softly at him. “Do you want to keep talking about your mom, or would you rather switch to a different topic?”

“Uh, I guess my mom, still?” Percy said nervously. Part of him wanted to drop the subject entirely, but…he was kind of scared that if he did that, he would never be able to bring this subject up again.

“I just…I’m, uh, kind of worried about telling her, and there isn’t really a reason behind it, I guess? Like, I just feel, uh, bad, for no reason, when I think about telling her, you know?” Percy looked down at his hands, which had started fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “But, uh, moving past that, I - I do want to tell her, okay? I do. I just - I want to do this right. I don’t - I don’t want this to go wrong, the way it did with -” Percy clammed up at those last words. Fuck. He didn’t mean to say that.

Olivia finished his sentence for him anyway. 

“You mean, the way it did with Annabeth?” Percy looked back up at her. Olivia had this soft, compassionate look on her face, like she completely understood exactly how he felt. 

Slowly, silently, Percy nodded.

It felt a bit like a betrayal. Like he was saying that he was upset with Annabeth for reacting the way she did. And he wasn’t. Really, it was fine. Percy understood, he did - her reaction had been completely understandable. And he wasn’t mad or upset with her about it, at all. He just…he just didn't want it to happen again, that’s all.

“I don’t think it will happen that way, Percy.” Olivia spoke firmly and calmly, steady and solid as stone. “But there are a few ways we can make sure it goes as smoothly as possible, okay?”

Percy blinked, surprised. “Really? How?”

Olivia smiled warmly back at him. “Well for one, by having someone there to mediate, Percy. If you have someone there to keep everyone calm and to make sure nothing goes off the rails, that would definitely help matters.

“Another thing you could do is warn your mom ahead of time by telling her the broad strokes of what you’re going to be talking to her about ahead of time, so that she isn’t caught completely off guard. And of course, you can set it up so that you have this conversation at a specific time and place, to reduce the odds of her, uh, suddenly leaving. These could all make this conversation between you and your mom go as smoothly as possible, okay Percy?”

Percy nodded. Everything she was saying made sense, and everything she suggested did sound like it could help, and probably would’ve helped with Annabeth. Although…

“Uh, how should I do all that, exactly?” Percy asked curiously. These all sounded like good ideas, sure, but he wasn’t really sure how to work it out in real life. Thinking about it, Percy had a sudden vision of trying to talk to his mom on a rocky  island in the middle of the sound, with Annabeth, Rachel and Grover sitting next to them and all doing their best to keep the conversation under control.

Yeah, no. Not gonna happen.

Olivia smiled back at him. “Well, there are a few ways you could do it. But if you’re uncomfortable with having Annabeth, Grover or Rachel mediate, you can always invite your mom to one of our appointments. That way, we can discuss this all together, with me there to make sure nothing goes wrong. Does that sound like a good idea, Percy?”

Cautiously, Percy nodded. It did sound like a good idea - not exactly perfect, but miles better than taking his mom to some remote island with his friends and spilling his guts. “Uh, yeah. Sounds good. I’ll, uh, call and ask her, I guess?”

Olivia nodded back. “That sounds great, Percy. Once you’ve sorted things out with her, you can just I-mail me to let me know which day you’ve decided on, okay?”

Percy nodded, smiling slightly. “Yeah, uh, that sounds good.”

Olivia leaned back a bit, still smiling. “Okay, Percy. We’ve gone a little over time today, so I think we should wrap this up here for now, all right?”

Surprised, Percy turned and looked at the wall clock behind him. Lo and behold, the clock read four fifty-five, a full five minutes over their set time.

Percy quickly turned back to Olivia. “Uh, sorry Liv. About the time. I guess I just…lost track, is all.” He brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck as he let out a nervous laugh.

Olivia shook her head, waving off his apology. “Don’t worry about it, Percy. In here, keeping track of the time is my job, alright? Not yours.” 

Percy nodded, feeling a bit sheepish. “Uh, okay. Sounds good.” He pushed himself out of his armchair, getting to his feet. “Uh, so, I guess I’ll just go, then?” He glanced over at Olivia for confirmation.

Olivia smiled back at him. “Okay, Percy. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Uh, yeah. See you.” Percy nodded at her, turned and quickly speed-walked out of her office. This had been a really intense session. He was more than ready to go back home now.

He’d call his mom later.

***

Percy called his mom around seven.

Percy and Annabeth were sort-of adults now, which meant that depending on the day, they generally either ate in the mess hall, or at home in their apartment. One thing they almost always did though, was go to the evening campfires, at least during the summer. It was a way for them to spend some more time with the younger campers they were mentoring, their younger friends like Leo, and of course Percy’s non-legally adopted little brother Nico. Generally speaking, the campfires really got into full swing around seven-thirty, so Percy and Annabeth usually showed up around then.

Today Percy and Annabeth ate at home in their apartment - blue jambalaya, mostly because Sally had reminded Percy just how good it really was. They finished eating and cleaning up around six-thirty, and spent the next half an hour relaxing - Annabeth reading a new architecture book, and Percy watching ZeusTube on his phone…which was just Youtube, but rebranded because Zeus threw a fit when he heard about Nymphstagram and demanded his own app. Until finally, at seven, Percy stepped into their bedroom to make the phone call that he’d been dreading for the past few hours.

Percy walked over to their bed and sat down on his side of it, opening up the call menu and scrolling through his contact list to ‘Mom’. With a deep breath, in and out, Percy hit the call button and the speaker button, and waited. After a couple rings, Sally picked up and spoke.

“Hey sweetheart! Everything okay?” Her voice came over the line, tinny and cheerful as always, her question thrown out without even a hint of worry.

She sounded so happy.

Percy hunched over, wrapping an arm around himself and clutching his phone tightly in his other hand. Fuck. What was he doing? His mom had already had a hard enough life, and now she finally had everything - a good husband, a job she loved, two children and financial stability, all in a really nice apartment too. She was happy, and Percy was going to screw all that up, and for what? Some validation, some peace of mind? Was this really worth it? Was it?

Remember what Olivia said. Being upset is worth it sometimes.

Shut up, Percy thought to himself. Okay. He needed to focus. It was time to make a decision.

“Percy? Are you okay? What’s going on?” Sally’s voice broke in, tense and increasing in worry with every syllable.

He’d been quiet too long.

Fuck.

“Uh, sorry Mom, I just, uh…” Percy trailed off. He wasn’t really sure what to say. He needed to stall, while he decided whether or not to tell her. “Uh…just, wanted to check in. How, how’re things going?”

Sally paused on the other end for a moment, then spoke. “Everything is going really well, Percy. Really. The students were really well behaved today, and Estelle’s been behaving great.” She paused, as if debating with herself on something, then continued.

“Sweetheart, I know Paul already mentioned this, but…you can tell me anything, you know? No matter what it is, you can always come to me. All right?”

Percy swallowed heavily. “Uh, yeah. I know, Mom.” His voice came out slightly raspy and hoarse, betraying how distressed he was feeling.

For a few seconds, the line was quiet. Which meant that Sally was either waiting for Percy to say something else, or she didn’t really know what to do.

Of course, Percy knew it was definitely the first one. His mom always knew what to do. Well, not always, but almost always, and that was close enough, right?

“Uh, Olivia mentioned something,” Percy burst out impulsively, then stopped short. He hadn’t meant to say that. He’d meant to say…well, he didn’t know what he’d meant to say, but it definitely hadn’t been that. 

Sally took a moment before she responded, voice cautious and treading on eggshells. “What did Olivia mention, Percy?”

Percy paused again. He could still salvage this. He could…he could make something up, something to reassure her and fix this.

He could lie. He could lie to his mom, and live with that. Or, he could tell her the truth, and upset her.

Olivia said -

Shut up, Percy thought to himself. But…yeah. Olivia had said…that thing, about how being upset could be worth it. But still…he just wasn’t really sure if he should do this. If he should just…schedule out a time to tell his mom like this.

We could do what we did with Grover. We could warn her, like Olivia said.

Right. He could do that. He could warn her, and let her decide for herself.

Percy already knew what his mom would decide. But at least this way…at least this way, it would be her choice.

“Mom,” Percy started slowly. “There’s…something I want to talk to you about, okay? But…it’s, it’s pretty bad. And, it’ll probably really upset you. And, if you don’t want to hear about it, you don’t have to, okay? I just…I want this to be up to you, okay?”

Sally was quiet for a moment. Then, she spoke.

“Percy, whatever you have to tell me, I want to hear it, okay? You…you’re my son, Percy. I love you, more than anything. If you’re willing to tell me, I want to hear it. Okay?”

Percy nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “Yeah. Okay, Mom. Thanks.” Just hearing her say that…it was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. It had been replaced with a pit of dread, sure, but it was still nice. Sally making the choice for herself, Percy not having to make it for her - it changed things, in a way. Percy couldn’t really explain how, but it did.

“Okay. Uh, Liv thinks we should probably have therapist supervision for this, so if you could come to one of my therapy appointments, that would be great. I’ll come pick you up by pegasus, you just have to come.” Percy promised her, voice almost shaking with nerves.

Sally sounded equally nervous when she responded, saying, “That sounds good, sweetheart. Uh, you have an appointment tomorrow at four, right? I can come to that one. Just pick me up from the school front doors around three, okay?”

Percy nodded to himself. “Uh, okay. Sounds good. And, Mom?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Don’t…don’t freak out too much, okay? I mean, it’s bad, but…it’s not that bad, okay? Like, it’s normal-levels of bad, not Tartarus-levels of bad.” Percy paused, remembering literally everyone else’s reactions to finding out. “Well, it’s not Tartarus-levels of bad in my opinion, at least.”

Sally responded in a strained but slightly calmer voice. “All right. Thank you, sweetheart, it’s…good to hear that. I’ll see you tomorrow - unless, is there anything else you need to talk about?”

Percy shook his head to himself, smiling a little despite himself. “Nah, I’m good. Bye, Mom.”

“Bye, sweetie.”

Percy hit the ‘end call’ button and opened up his Iris-mail app, shot off an email to Olivia letting her know that Sally would be at his appointment tomorrow, and tucked his phone into his pocket. Standing up, he walked over to his bedroom door and pulled it open, walking into the living room. 

Annabeth looked up from her book as he walked in, a smile breaking out across her face. “Things went well, I assume?”

It was only upon hearing her words that Percy realized he was still smiling. He gave a quick, self-deprecating laugh, bringing up his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah, I…it went well. Mom’s going to come to my appointment tomorrow. I sent Liv an I-mail about it. So, that’s…good, I guess.”

Annabeth smiled warmly back at him. “Yeah, it is.” She paused, then continued, “Percy, uh…you know that what you’re doing, it’s…really brave, right? I mean, telling people about Luke. It’s really brave of you, and…I’m really proud of you for doing all this. So, yeah,” Annabeth finished up, a flush of red overtaking her face.

Percy nodded, blushing as well. “Uh, yeah. Thanks, Wise Girl.”

“No problem, Seaweed Brain. Now, you ready to head out to the campfire?”

Percy nodded again, smiling. “Yeah, let’s go.”

And so, the two of them got up and headed over to the campfire, ready for the evening of fun ahead of them.

Chapter Text

On Tuesday, Percy’s classes normally went to three-thirty. But, given the fact that he had an appointment with his mom, he got Clarisse to cover his last sword-fighting lesson of the day, and he got a naiad named Uttae to teach his two-thirty swimming lesson. So, Percy wound up heading over to the stables around two-thirty, where he grabbed a white pegasus named Dreamer and headed off to Manhattan.

Sally’s school got out around two-fifteen every day. Normally she stayed for another hour or two to grade papers and set up for the next day, but she’d gotten through grading the most important things in preparation for Percy’s appointment, and took the time between school letting out and Percy arriving to set up for the next day. Sally finished up and stepped out the front doors at two fifty-six, just two minutes before Percy and the pegasus swept down from the sky and landed on the sidewalk right in front of her.

Percy smiled over at her. “Hey, mom.”

“Hey, sweetie,” she responded with a smile.

“Whoa! Sick motorbike, man!” Some random guy yelled over to Percy, who looked up and awkwardly nodded in response. The Mist was a hell of a drug sometimes.

Sally climbed up onto Dreamer, slotting in in front of Percy to make sure she didn’t fall off. And with that, they took off for Camp Half-Blood.

After arriving and returning Dreamer to the stables, Percy and Sally walked over, through the Shadow Gate, into New Rome and to Olivia’s office. They arrived at three fifty-five, and sat down in the waiting room. They were both pretty nervous - Percy was drumming his fingers on his knee and jigging his leg up and down, while Sally was tapping her foot and nervously twirling her hair. Still, they were both pretty quiet until they were both called into the office at three fifty-nine.

The both of them quickly stood up, Sally brushing off her very clean, light blue button-up shirt. With a quick glance at each other, the two of them turned and walked into Olivia’s office.

Percy led his mom over to the couch he and Annabeth used for their joint sessions, where the two of them sat down. Percy wanted to sit right next to his mom, plastered against her side for comfort - but, he was an adult now. He shouldn’t need that kind of comforting anymore. Plus, while leaning on his mom sounded great, it also sounded…pretty scary. As an idea, it felt like - like intentionally leaving himself open in the middle of a fight, and giving the monsters a free shot at him. So, Sally sat down at one end of the couch, and Percy sat down at the other, as far away as he could get, ramrod stiff and staring straight ahead.

Olivia was smiling softly at the both of them, looking just the same as always…well, except for her hair which was pulled back into a ponytail. Legs crossed and clipboard in her lap, Olivia began tapping the end of her pen against her clipboard as she started to speak.

“Now, Sally,” she started off, smile widening into a beaming grin. “It’s great to finally meet you. Percy’s told me all about you, you know.”

Percy looked over at his mom. She was smiling nervously back at Liv.

“Oh, uh, thanks. It’s nice to meet you too, Olivia. I’ve heard about you from Percy too.” Sally was sitting on the edge of her seat, foot nervously tapping the ground and one hand anxiously twisting a lock of hair around her finger.

Olivia nodded at her, leaning back in her chair a little. “Before we start, I just want to mention that Percy has made excellent progress over the course of the past two years. And while you may hear some…difficult things today, please know that Percy has been receiving the help and support he needs to live with this, all right?”

“Well…okay?” Sally responded, voice tipping up with uncertainty at the end there.

Olivia smiled reassuringly. “All right then. Now, do you have any questions you’d like to ask before we begin?”

Slowly, Sally nodded. “Yes, actually…I was wondering why Percy’s appointments suddenly…increased so dramatically a couple months ago. Did…did something happen?” She asked, turning her head to make eye contact with Percy, who was feeling a bit like a cornered animal.

Sensing Percy’s distress, Olivia jumped in. “Not exactly. Nothing happened recently, it was…something that Percy experienced a while ago. It affected him more than he realized, and we felt that more frequent appointments would help him deal with it better. Would you say that’s an accurate description of what happened, Percy?”

Percy startled a little, breaking eye contact with his mom and jerking his head to look over at Olivia, who was looking at him expectantly. Nervously, he cleared his throat and answered, “Uh. Yeah, I guess.” 

A moment of silence. Then, Sally broke in with a trepidatious, wavering voice, “Can…can you tell me what it was that happened?”

Percy stiffened, looking at Olivia with nervous, uncertain eyes. Olivia smiled back at him reassuringly, and asked, “Percy, do you still want to do this?”

Percy paused for a moment. He didn’t… want to do this, exactly, he just…he needed to. He needed to, and he wanted to, and he didn’t want to at the same time. He needed to tell her, to tell his mom about all of this. He didn’t want to, but he wanted to, and more than that, he needed to, and…and that was the important part. 

Slowly, Percy nodded affirmatively.

Olivia nodded back, then turned her head a bit and spoke to Sally.

“Actually, I believe that Percy invited you here so that he could tell you about this in a controlled, supervised environment. Percy, are you ready to tell her now, or would you like a few more minutes?”

“No! No, I…I can do this. Right now, if that’s okay. Uh…” Okay Percy. Remember what you did with Grover. Give her a choice. “Uh, mom, I…what I have to talk about, it’s…not good. And, based on how other people reacted, this will probably be…very hard, to hear. Uh, and, if you don’t want to hear about it, that’s fine, because, you know, hearing about will probably be pretty hard, so. Uh. Yeah. And…and. Uh. That’s it, I think.”

Percy finished nervously, hunching inwards a little, ears burning. Looking down, he watched his hands twisting and untwisting the hem of his shirt around his fingers. 

This sucked. It really, really sucked, but…he had to do it. He needed to do this for himself. This was going to help. It would help, and so he needed to do it.

Sally fully turned her body to face Percy and leaned forwards a bit. Out of the corner of his eye, Percy could see her legs and hands, folded in her lap and fingers twisting around each other. After a moment, she began to speak.

“Sweetheart, it…I…you can come to me with anything, Percy. Okay? No matter what it is, you can tell me, I promise.” Her voice had an urgent note to it, and was tense with anxiety.

Percy nodded, still looking down. “Uh, okay, Mom. Uh…it…” Percy stopped, took a deep breath in and out, and continued.

“You know how, my first summer at camp, Luke was there?” He started slowly, nervously, unsure of whether or not he was starting off right.

“Well, yes, Percy. I know.” Sally responded uncertainly, having no idea where Percy was going with this.

Percy nodded again for a little too long, then kept pushing onwards, forcing his next words out. “Well, uh…that summer, uh…Luke and I, we…we were…together. Like, romantically and stuff.” Percy stopped, and took a deep, gasping breath in, worn out just from saying those words.

For a few moments, the room was quiet except for the sound of breathing. Out of the corner of his eye, Percy saw his mom jerk back a little at his words, then slowly lean forward and shuffle closer towards him. Her hands were wringing together in her lap, and he could hear her quick, sharp breaths, like she’d been punched in the chest and was trying to get her breath back. The silence stretched out, a few seconds turning into several seconds turning to half a minute. Finally, around the thirty second mark, she spoke.

“Oh, Percy.”

Sally’s voice was hoarse, and sounded deeply sad and almost pained, like she was on the verge of tears. Against his better judgement, Percy turned, looked up to meet her eyes and immediately regretted it. Her face was pale and drawn, trapped in an expression of deep heartbreak and grief. She looked awful, like she’d aged ten years in the last half minute. 

Essentially, she looked just as miserable as Percy had feared.

“Mom,” Percy gasped, lunging towards her, reaching out and taking her hands in his own. “Mom, are - are you okay? I didn’t - I didn’t mean to make you upset, I swear, I just - I - are you okay?”

For a second Sally just sat there staring back at him, not even breathing. Then, she took another sharp breath in, eyes flashing with an emotion that Percy couldn’t quite identify.

“Am I okay? Am I okay?” Sally repeated a couple times disbelievingly, before pausing, swallowing heavily, and starting over. “Percy, I…I’m fine. I’m fine, okay? I just - I need to - are you okay? Are - how, how are you doing, with all of this?” Her voice was strained and desperate, tight with unshed tears.

Percy blinked back at her, a little confused. “Me? I’m fine.” 

Well, he wasn’t fine, exactly - Percy was still worried about his mom, seeing as she was clearly not fine. But when it came to Luke, he was doing fine, mostly. He’d pretty much come to terms with the fact that it had been a really bad, unhealthy, slightly traumatic relationship, and was coping with that with Olivia’s help. Really, the main problem was how other people kept reacting to the whole Luke thing, like his mom was doing right now.

Sally rocked back at his words like they were a physical blow, looking fully taken aback. Quickly, she snapped her head around to look at Olivia, a question in her eyes.

Percy kept his eyes on his mom as Olivia responded to Sally’s unspoken question. “Percy has a…unique outlook on what happened with Luke that summer,” she said in a warm, reassuring voice. “We’ve been working on…rationalizing his view with the views and opinions of others in our sessions, and we’re making excellent progress. Percy has come a long way on this subject, and I’m confident that he will continue to improve.”

Still looking at her, Sally slowly nodded, looking reluctant but accepting her words. She took a deep breath in and out, and slowly, she turned her head back towards Percy. She had a soft, reassuring, loving expression on her face - but her eyes were deeply, deeply sad. Closing her eyes, Sally took a deep, shaking breath in before opening her eyes back up.

“Percy, can you…can you tell me about this, ‘unique outlook’ Olivia mentioned?” Sally asked.

Percy sat back a bit in shock. He hadn’t…no one had really asked how he felt about Luke when they found out - well, except for Olivia. Usually, they kind of…talked at him about how evil and terrible Luke was, and then acted shocked when Percy defended him. Grover, and Annabeth and Rachel, they had kind of just…assumed that they knew how Percy felt, instead of asking, and then acted all shocked when it turned out that Percy actually felt differently than they expected. And that wasn’t really bad or hurtful - well, not that hurtful - but it was kind of annoying. And the fact that his mom hadn’t done that, it…it was nice.

Percy nearly flinched at a sudden small sound in the quiet following Sally’s question, coming straight from Olivia. It sounded like…like a very small, very tired sigh. But there wasn’t really a reason for her to be sighing, so Percy just ignored it and focused on answering his mom.

“Uh, I - I don’t think it’s unique, exactly - it’s just. Uh. You know, it was just, a relationship, right? A normal romantic relationship. And it was a little, uh, unconventional, I guess, with the age difference and stuff, but it was still just dating, you know?” Percy took a break to think for a second, then continued.

“And, uh, it wasn’t good, exactly - the relationship, I mean. It was actually…pretty bad. It was pretty unhealthy and toxic - it wasn’t, like, abusive or anything, just, you know - toxic and unhealthy and stuff.” Percy paused and looked away as he carefully worded his next statement to include some of the phrases he’d heard when other people talked about failed relationships.. “We were just - in different places in life, me and Luke, and so we didn’t really fit well together because of that. It wasn’t either of our fault, really - it was more a mutual thing, you know? Luke just - Luke was complicated, and we both made some bad decisions, and while Luke was responsible for how things ended, we both made mistakes when we were together. And in the end, it just didn’t work out. And some of the worst parts of our relationship might have been a little traumatic, and do still affect me, which is part of why I thought I should probably…tell you about all of this. You know?”

Finishing his speech, Percy nodded slightly to himself and looked back at his mom, who - oh.

Dammit.

Sally now somehow looked even worse than before. Tears were flowing freely down her face as she muffled her sobs behind a hand clasped over her mouth. In addition to deep sadness, her eyes were now lit with anger, or outrage. She seemed to be both sad and angry at the same time, like she was grieving someone who had been horrifically murdered. Basically, she was in awful condition.

Percy froze for a second, not really sure what to do. Then, making an abrupt decision, Percy moved closer to his mom and enveloped her in a hug.

This should help, Percy thought to himself.

This did not help. In fact, Sally only began crying harder, to the point where her entire body was spasming, racked with sobs. Completely at a loss, Percy tightened his hold on her and turned his head to look pleadingly at Olivia.

Meeting his gaze, and seeing his need for help, Olivia stepped in. “All right now. I can see things have gotten pretty emotional, so let’s take a few minutes and calm down, okay? Take some deep breaths and wait things out.”

Wait things out? That was her solution, to wait things out?

Percy did not want to wait things out. He wanted a solution, a way to fix things now, to - to stop his mom from crying and make her okay again. To make her happy again.

But…this was emotion stuff. And generally speaking, Liv tended to be right about emotion stuff. Which meant that if she said waiting things out was the best move…it was probably actually the best move. So…waiting things out it was.

So, Percy sat there. Hugging his mom tightly, trying to comfort her as her sobs slowly turned into deep, shuddering breaths, which then turned into regular slow, deep breaths. Slowly, Percy leaned back a little, unwrapping his arms from around Sally and placing his hands on her shoulders, steadying her. Taking a deep breath, Percy looked his mom in the eye as he spoke, asking her in an anxious voice, “Uh, mom, is - is there anything you need me to do? I mean, anything I can do to help with you being kind of…upset, and stuff.”

Sally smiled shakily back at him, eyes still wet with tears. “No, sweetie, I - I’m fine. Well, I’m not fine, but I’ll be okay.” She paused, then continued carefully, “I think…I think it would be better to focus on how you’re doing, Percy.”

Percy blinked, confused. “How I’m doing? I - I’m doing fine, I guess? I mean, I - I was a little nervous about telling you, but I’m basically okay. I’m mostly worried about you, Mom, really.”

Sally blinked back at him, looking…kind of shocked, really. Which was kind of weird, but not all that crazy considering how people tended to react to all of this. But, it was fine. Percy just needed to reassure her a bit.

Percy leaned forwards, reached out and took his mom’s hand. Squeezing it, he started talking in an intentionally comforting tone of voice. 

“Hey, Mom,” he started off. “Look, I know this all sounds bad, with me calling it traumatic and stuff, but it really wasn’t all that bad. I mean, it was kind of rough, sure, but I’ve handled a lot worse, like Tartarus and the wars and stuff. So really, it’s not that big a deal, I just…kind of thought I should…tell you, you know? That’s all. Nothing to worry about,” Percy finished with a small smile on his face, hopeful that his words had helped.

Looking at his mom’s face, Percy instantly realized that his words had not helped.

Sally looked…horrified. Like he’d said something awful, that she’d never even thought of. Percy was about to say something more, when Sally took a deep breath in and consciously smoothed out her expression into one that was open and accepting, and deeply loving. With a small, sad smile, Sally opened her eyes and looked straight at Percy, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Percy, sweetheart, I…I’m sorry for my…reaction. But, um…” She closed her eyes and took another deep breath in and out before opening them again. “But, I was wondering if, if I could maybe speak with Olivia in private for a few minutes?”

Percy blinked back at his mom, surprised. For a second he just stared back at her, before snapping his head around to look at Olivia, a silent question in his eyes.

What should I do?

Olivia was smiling softly back at him. “Percy, this is your decision. If you wish to remain a part of the conversation, you are welcome to. However, it is my belief that a few moments alone may help me articulate your viewpoint to Sally more effectively than if you were here.”

Slowly, Percy nodded. “So, you think I should let you two talk?”

Olivia shook her head a little. “No, Percy - this is your decision entirely. It is my opinion that speaking with Sally privately would help her understand your position, but if you feel that me doing so would cause you distress, it may be better for us all to keep you in the room for the duration of our appointment. So, it’s your choice Percy. What do you think would be best for you?”

Percy stopped and thought about it for a second.  There were two options here. First, Percy could insist on staying. He’d hear everything Olivia and his mom had to say. He wouldn’t have to take any risks, and…and his mom wouldn’t be able to talk about everything she needed to talk about. Not with him in the room. She’d have to censor herself to avoid potentially upsetting him, and she’d walk out of their appointment with unanswered questions dragging her down.

Or…he could leave. Walk out, and stay in the waiting room for a few minutes. And let his mom and Olivia talk, without having to worry about Percy’s reaction. And…deal with not knowing what exactly Olivia was telling his mom about him.

Percy wanted to pick option one. But…Olivia had said that if he left, she could explain things to his mom better. And…he wanted his mom to understand. No one ever understood Percy’s view of Luke - if stepping out for a few minutes would help his mom understand, then…he could do that.

“Okay,” Percy said decisively, voice shaking a little. “I’ll step out. Uh, you can just, call me back in when you’re done, okay? Just -” Percy stopped and took a deep breath, in and out. “Don’t, uh, tell her too many details, about me and Luke, okay? Like, the stuff I wouldn’t want her to know.” Percy looked over and gave his mom a quick smile, squeezing her hand reassuringly, before looking back at Olivia.

Olivia smiled warmly back at him. “Of course, Percy. I promise, I won’t tell her anything that I think you wouldn’t want her to know.”

Percy nodded to himself, then, smiling reassuringly at Sally, he let go of her hand, stood up and walked out of Olivia’s office and into the waiting room, closing the door behind him.

The waiting room was quiet, and relatively empty. Which was good, as it meant that Percy got to pace back and forth as much as he wanted. As he paced, Percy tried and failed to push his worries out of his mind, and instead wound up constantly obsessing over them. Thoughts of, what are they saying? What if Mom starts crying again? What if…what if this just, goes really badly?, all spun around and around inside Percy’s brain, swimming in an ocean of nerves and just…bad. Just, this dark feeling of just…bad. Percy didn’t really know how else to describe it other than as just, bad.

Eventually, after what felt like forever, but was probably closer to ten minutes, the office door opened and Olivia called Percy back in.

Quickly, and nervously, Percy walked back in, head down, and sat back down on the far end of the couch, shoulders hunched inwards. He took a deep breath, in and out, and forced his shoulders back down as he slowly looked up and over at his mom.

Sally was looking back at him with a strange look on her face. It was…sad, but also angry, and deeply worried. As he looked back at her, she gave Percy a small, shaky smile, that made her look like she was a few seconds away from bursting into tears.

Percy smiled reassuringly back at her, and was about to scooch over to her when Olivia sat back down in her chair and began to speak.

“So, Percy. I’ve spoken to Sally a bit, and I think she has a better understanding of how you see your past relationship with Luke. Would you agree with that, Sally?”
Percy kept looking at his mom, who also kept her eyes on him as she nodded. “Yes, I - I think I understand your viewpoint a little better now, Percy. I’m not up to discussing it at the moment, but with a little time, I think I’ll be able to talk about this more with you. Thank you, Olivia,” she said, turning her head and nodding at Olivia. 

Percy followed suit, turning to look at Olivia, who nodded back at Sally with a smile. Then, looking over at Percy, she asked, “So, Percy. Do you have anything else you want to bring up?”

Percy paused, then double checked, “Mom understands everything now?”

Olivia hesitated, then carefully responded, “I spoke to her about your feelings on your relationship with Luke, and I believe she understands that to a certain extent, yes.”

That was a weird way of saying ‘yes’, but okay. Percy nodded back at her, then looked over at his mom with a smile. “Then, I think we’re set, right Mom?”

Sally nodded slowly. “If you think we’ve gone over everything we need to, then…I think we’re done. For now.”

Olivia nodded. “Alright. In that case, I believe we’re done for today. That said, Percy…I think it would be to your benefit for us to have another meeting tomorrow. If, you can make that fit into your schedule, of course.”
Percy paused. Wednesday was pretty much his only weekday without a therapy appointment, but if it was important… “Okay. Same time?”

Olivia nodded with a smile. “Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow Percy. Have a nice day, both of you.”
“You too Liv,” Percy responded, getting up and walking over towards the door as Sally silently followed him. The two of them headed out of the building and towards the Shadow Gate, quietly walking side by side. 

Percy looked over at Sally a little anxiously. She’d been…pretty quiet, ever since they’d left therapy. “You okay, Mom?”

Sally looked at him with the same small, shaky smile. “Yes, I -” she stopped and took a breath, in and out. “I’m okay, Percy. I just, I need a little time to - to think all this over, before I can talk about it, alright?” She paused, and took a breath in and out before asking, “And, um - I was wondering if, you could maybe come over on Thursday night? To discuss all this - I think I’ll be ready by then, so. That would be good. If, that’s okay.”
Percy nodded, a little confused. “Uh, sure Mom, I can do that. Is - are you okay? Is something wrong?”

Sally looked back down, shaking her head a bit. “No, no nothing’s wrong,” she answered quickly. “I just - I’m okay. I am, I just - I just need a little time, okay? And then we can talk all this out. On Thursday.”
Percy nodded, still confused but accepting. “Uh, okay Mom. Sounds good.”

The two of them kept walking in silence through the gate and over to the stables. The entire time, Sally didn’t say a single word. Even as they got on Dreamer and headed off into the sky, Sally stayed quiet and stared off into the distance.

It’s okay, Percy reassured himself as he began to get a bit nervous. She just needs some time to process, remember? Don’t panic.

She hates you. She’s upset. She’s -

Shut up, Percy told himself.

Eventually, they reached the roof of Sally’s building. Sally hopped off, and so did Percy, who was slowly but steadily approaching full-blown panic.

“Percy,” Sally started slowly. “I know I’ve been…a little quiet, but it’s not anything bad, okay? I swear. I just…like I said, I just need some time to process, is all.”

See, Voice? Percy thought victoriously. I told you. She just needs time to process.

Sally paused for a second, then hesitantly asked, “Percy, is…is it okay if I tell Paul? I understand if you don’t want him to know,” she quickly reassured him, “But if you’re okay with it, I would be willing to tell him.” 

Percy paused for a second. Did he want Paul to know? Well…not really. But then, Percy hadn’t really wanted Grover to know either, and…that had ended up pretty good. And, he trusted his mom’s judgement. If she thought it would be good for Paul to know, well…Percy trusted her. And while he wasn’t really up to telling someone else this quickly, Sally had said that she would be willing to tell Paul for him. So…

“Yeah, Mom. I guess that’s okay. Just, make sure he doesn’t tell anyone else without my permission, okay?”

“Of course, Percy,” Sally answered with a smile. “And, can Paul and I tell our therapists about this as well?” 

Percy nodded. “Yeah, that’s fine too.”
Sally smiled warmly at him. “Thank you, Percy.” She spread out her arms, in a silent request for a hug. And of course, Percy responded by stepping into her embrace.

Like always, Sally’s hugs were warm and soft and comforting, just like a nice blue chocolate-chip cookie. They stayed like that for a few moments, each basking in the warmth of the hug, before they slowly let each other go and separated.

Sally smiled softly at him. “Percy, before I go, I want you to know, I…I’m really proud of you. This…telling me, it was really brave, and I’m so, so proud of you for going through with it.”
Percy smiled back at her, a bit sheepish and blushing bright red. “Uh, thanks Mom. Uh, I’ll see you on Thursday?”

Sally nodded back at him. “Of course, Percy. See you then.”
And with that, Sally turned around and headed into her building, and Percy hopped back up on Dreamer and once again took to the sky, heading back towards camp.

***

Sally stepped through the roof door, closed it behind her, and slumped back against it, sliding down to sit on the ground. Sitting there on the floor, she stared at the far wall as she tried to collect her thoughts.

This…had not been what she’d expected. At all. When Percy said there was something he needed to tell her, Sally had been thinking along the lines of another quest, or something else to do with the gods, not…this. 

This was a nightmare.

Sally had always known that…that Percy was going to live a difficult, traumatic life, on account of being a half-blood. But she’d always thought he’d mainly have to deal with literal monsters, not human monsters. She’d worried so much about the things that she knew Percy would have to deal with, that things like this never even crossed her mind.

And what he’d said, the way he saw what that monster Luke did to him, it…she didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand how he could be just, so blind. How could he not see what had happened to him for what it was?

And what Olivia had said…

Sally closed her eyes and cast her mind back to that conversation.

***

As soon as the door closed behind Percy, Sally dropped her smile, and turned towards Olivia, allowing her anger and confusion to show on her face.

Olivia leaned forwards a bit, making eye contact with Sally as she spoke. “So, I understand you have some questions?”

“Yes,” Sally hissed furiously. “ Yes, I have questions. Specifically, what the heck was that?

Olivia sighed, dropping her calm, reassuring mask to reveal an exhausted, almost haggard expression. “That was…how Percy sees what Luke did to him,” she responded in a tired yet empathetic voice. “Percy, he…he experiences a kind of, extreme denial when it comes to what happened with Luke, as you have seen. Specifically, he is completely convinced that his relationship with Luke was a consensual romantic relationship, not sexual abuse. From what I’m able to tell, Percy likely struggled to face the reality of what he was experiencing, and so created this…story, to protect himself from the truth. We’ve been working on his perception of Luke, and Percy has been making slow but steady progress.”
“ That was progress?” Sally demanded incredulously.

“Compared to when we first started? Yes.” Olivia responded firmly. “When we first began talking about this, Percy was both convinced that his relationship with Luke was a good relationship that just ended badly, and adamantly against telling anyone in his life about said relationship. Now, a year after we began working on this, Percy has not only confided in multiple people about this, but he has also admitted to us and himself that his relationship with Luke was bad and unhealthy from the start, and was traumatic enough that it continues to affect him to this day. While this may not seem like a lot, it is progress, and Percy has worked hard for it.”

“But - he still thinks it was a normal relationship! Even if he admits it was bad, he still thinks it was just - a relationship, not rape! He can’t even call it what it is, even after a year! There - there has to be something you can do! Maybe we, we can explain it to him, go over everything wrong with what happened so that -”

“I would strongly recommend against that, Sally,” Olivia broke in. “What Percy experienced has hurt him deeply, and his brain has created this forcefield of denial in order to survive. Trying to force our way through it would ultimately cause more harm than good.

“I understand your frustration, Sally. But I have tried to go the more straightforward route here, and believe me when I say that it did not go well. In my experience, forcing Percy to confront the truth head-on generally leads to…extreme emotional reactions, and even dissociation from reality. The fact is that here, we can’t just plow through Percy’s reasoning like you’ve suggested. This situation requires careful handling and slow progress, and that is what we are doing here.

“I know you want what’s best for your son, and you want him to deal with this and heal from it as soon as possible in order to minimize his suffering. But this is going to take time. And Percy needs you to provide him with patience and support as he slowly learns to process and heal from what has happened to him.”

As Olivia spoke, the energy slowly drained out of Sally, leaving her sitting back on the couch, head tilted down. As Olivia finished her speech, Sally took a moment to gather her thoughts before dully asking, “So what am I supposed to do then?”

Olivia responded in a cautious, kind tone of voice. “Honestly? Just be there for Percy. Don’t push him, be open and accepting, and try not to visibly show too much anger or distress if he chooses to tell you about his experiences in detail, though I understand that may not be possible. Generally, just try and treat him the same way you’ve been treating him. Percy has told me all about how much of a good mother you are, so if you just keep on going as you have, you should be fine.”

Sally scoffed at her words. “A good mother? If I was a good mother, Percy would’ve told me about this when it happened. If I was a good mother, I would’ve seen that - that something was -”

“Sally,” Olivia broke in, “The fact that Percy didn’t tell you about Luke until now has no bearing on your ability as a mother. Many children choose not to tell anyone about the abuse they are experiencing, and whether or not they choose to tell their parents often has more to do with the child’s state of mind than it does with the parent. And even the best parents might miss signs of sexual abuse in their children, especially in cases like this where the child in question doesn’t even see what’s happening as abuse. You are not a bad mother because you’re only finding out about this now, Sally. In fact, the fact that Percy chose you to be one of the first people he told just goes to show how much he loves and respects you.”

Sally kept looking down. She heard and understood the reasoning behind Olivia’s words, but…she just couldn’t believe it. Percy had been horrifically abused, and she hadn’t even noticed. She hadn’t seen a thing, and it wasn’t like there was nothing to see. Looking back, there had been signs, small though they may have been. After that summer, there was Percy’s uncharacteristic and intense hatred of Luke, there was the way that he always tried to steer the conversation away from Luke whenever he came up, there were a million and one tiny things that at the time hadn’t even registered in her mind. And now Sally could look back and see all those tiny things add up to one big picture that she’d somehow never seen.

And maybe Percy had decided to tell her now, but that just meant that he hadn’t been willing to tell her earlier. Back when this all was going on, Sally talked to Percy over Iris-message every single day. And after it ended, he’d come back home and lived with her 24/7. And he’d never felt safe enough to tell her about what Luke did to him. 

She’d made a mistake. Somewhere, she’d done something wrong, something big enough to make Percy feel like he couldn’t confide in her about this. She wasn’t sure what it was exactly - sending him to schools like Yancy, bringing Gabe into the house, waiting much too long to tell him the truth about his father - but whichever one it was, it had caused Percy to keep quiet instead of speaking up, and Sally would never forgive herself for that.

Sally shook off that line of thought. She needed to stop wallowing in self-pity and focus. This wasn’t about her, this was about Percy . And she needed to figure out how best to help him.

Recalling what Olivia had recently said, Sally looked up, leaned forward and asked with eyes boring intently into Olivia’s, “Why do I need to avoid showing anger when he talks about what happens to him?”

Olivia gave her a small, tired smile. “There are actually a couple reasons. One is that Percy is…extremely averse to causing his friends and family distress, to the point where he generally won’t do it unless he sees it as being absolutely necessary. And while Percy now recognizes that the abuse he experienced is important, he doesn’t consider talking about it to be necessary just yet, even if it is necessary for his mental health. This means that if he thinks talking about it causes you too much distress, he may choose to stop talking about it in order to spare your feelings.

“Additionally, there is the possibility that Percy might take any visible signs of anger to mean that you are angry at him, and that you blame him for what he experienced to a certain extent. I can’t get into details, but I will tell you that there have been previous examples of Percy misinterpreting signs of anger in this way. So, it is very important that Percy not think that him talking about his experiences causes you too much anger or distress.”

Slowly, Sally nodded. Much as she hated to admit it, that did sound like Percy. Always a little too worried about the people around him, and never worried enough about himself. And, well…she could see it. Her acting upset, and Percy refusing to ever mention this again because he doesn’t want to upset her, or because he thinks it’ll make her upset at him. The image in her mind was clear as day, and felt almost real enough to touch…which meant that she should probably listen to Olivia on this one.

Olivia took her silent acceptance for what it was. “Alright then,” she said with a slightly less tired smile, “Is there anything else you need to talk about?”

Sally paused for a second. They’d kind of already had this conversation, but, well…

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do about Percy’s…ideas, on what happened between him and Luke?” Sally burst out, quickly continuing, “I know you said it was going to be a slow process, but he’s being a bit…delusional.”

Sally winced a little at using that word, but…it was true. Percy was acting delusional. This whole thing, where Percy acted like everything with Luke was a-okay, like it was just a normal, if unhealthy relationship, it was delusional. Delusional and deeply, deeply disturbing. And it needed to stop, as soon as possible. And maybe ‘as soon as possible’ wasn’t actually going to be all that soon, but still. She needed to try.

Olivia nodded understandingly, a sympathetic look on her face. “I understand your impatience, Sally. Percy’s thought process on this has been difficult for me to witness, as a therapist - I can only imagine how it must feel to you. But unfortunately, this is something that shouldn’t be…poked at too much, too quickly. That’s not to say you can’t guide him in certain directions, just that you need to do it carefully and gently, without pressuring or pushing him. But in the end, this is something that will have to be done on Percy’s time, not ours.

“That said, Percy has recently been making exceptional progress, faster than he was previously, when we only met once a week. I can’t say for certain, but I have a feeling that he may have a breakthrough sooner rather than later, if that helps.”

Sally smiled back. “It does. Thank you,” she said gratefully. Because it did help. The idea that Percy had gotten a lot better already was a bit upsetting, as it implied that he was once much worse off than he is now, but it was also reassuring, in the sense that it made her feel more assured in the idea that Percy would keep improving, and possibly even realize the truth fairly soon, which was a great thing to hear.

Olivia nodded at her. “All right then. Is there something else, or should I call Percy back in?”
Sally closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and out, and took a moment to compose herself. To smooth out the crease between her brows, to quickly redo her low ponytail and to set her face in as calm an expression as she could manage under the circumstances. Once she had done all that, Sally looked at Olivia and nodded back, saying, “We’re set. You can call him back in.”
Olivia smiled, got up and walked over to the door to call Percy back in. As she did so, Sally focused on putting on the best show she could. As far as Percy was concerned, she was going to be calm and unruffled, weathering this storm of horrific revelations with the strength and perseverance of a mountain. All she had to do was focus and not let her true emotions leak out until she got back home.

She could do this.

She had to.

***

Slowly, Sally opened her eyes. Gods, that had been awful. Sally wanted nothing more than to stay there at the top of the stairwell, staring at the far wall for the rest of time.

But, sooner or later the super would come by - he may not lock the roof door, ever, but he wasn’t entirely negligent. And then she would have to explain what she was doing there. And Sally did not have the energy to come up with a good lie right now. Plus, Paul and Estelle were down in their apartment, and she couldn’t exactly abandon them. And - oh, gods. She had work tomorrow.

No. No, absolutely not. She refused. Sally was not going to go into work the day after this. She was calling in, absolutely, and that was final. She refused.

Still, regardless of her work, part of her family was still down in their apartment. And she did need to go down and be there with them. So, Sally forced herself to her feet and headed down the stairs to the fifth floor, and into her apartment.

Inside the apartment, it was all nice and calm. Paul was sitting on the couch reading a novel, and Estelle was - right. Estelle wasn’t there. She was in the nursery, because it was just past five now, and Estelle always napped from five to six.

She was safe. Sally knew she was safe.

She still needed to check.

As she pulled off her shoes and walked towards the hallway, Paul looked up from his book, apparently hearing her footsteps. “Hey, how did things go?” He asked curiously. 

Sally paused, about to turn into the hall. Percy had said that she could tell him, that she could tell Paul about…about Luke. She didn’t want to - she never wanted to think about that heartless, evil man again - but she had to. She had to tell him, because she couldn’t justify keeping something like this from him, not when Percy was okay with him knowing. So she had to tell him. Tonight.

Stop. Focus. One thing at a time.

Right. One thing at a time. Sally needed to tell Paul the truth, but she needed to see Estelle first. 

Sally looked over at Paul. Whatever he saw in her face clearly worried him, as upon looking at her he immediately sat up stiffly and got a deeply concerned look on his face. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but Sally beat him to it.

“I need to check on Estelle, Paul,” she said in a shaking voice. “I need to. I’ll explain why after, I just - I have to see her, okay? I’m sorry.” Sally finished abruptly, desperation leaking into her voice near the end there.

Not waiting for a response, Sally turned her head back around and headed down the hall to Estelle’s nursery. Upon reaching it, she quickly and quietly opened the door, before stepping through and closing it silently behind her. The room was dim, but the nightlight plugged in by Estelle’s crib cast just enough light for Sally to see. So, Sally carefully picked her way across the room, making sure not to step on any toys, until she reached Estelle’s crib.

Sally leaned over and looked down. And there she was. Estelle, lying there with her fist in her mouth, eyes closed, her black hair falling over her face with the white streak laying over her left eye.

She looked perfect.

Too perfect.

Suddenly seized by a bone-deep terror that this wasn’t real - that the Estelle in this crib was an illusion, one that would melt away as soon as she tried to touch it - Sally quickly reached down and gathered Estelle up in her arms. Holding her, Sally’s heart slowed back to a normal pace and the fear abated, because she was fine. Estelle was fine. She was okay, and unharmed, and safe in her arms, and there was nothing for Sally to worry about.

Still, even with this reassurance, Sally wasn’t quite ready to let her daughter go. To put her back in her crib and leave the room, leaving her alone in the dimly lit but perfectly safe and warm nursery. So, Sally picked up Estelle’s blanket, draped it over her tiny body, and turned and walked out of the nursery and back towards the living room, still carrying Estelle in her arms.

When she reached the living room, Paul raised an eyebrow at the sight of her clutching Estelle in her arms, like a dragon clutching a solid gold egg. Like she was the most important thing in the world, which she was - she was her daughter, after all. Ignoring his look, Sally walked over to one of the comfy armchairs sitting in front of the couch, across from the coffee table, and sat down, coddling her child as she tucked the tiny little baby blanket firmly over Estelle’s even tinier body.

It probably would have been a smarter idea to leave Estelle in her crib, far away from this upcoming discussion. But, at the moment, Sally felt like she would die, literally die on the spot from sheer terror, if Estelle were ripped from her arms. And in her defense, Estelle was both a baby and an unusually deep sleeper. Odds are she wouldn’t wake up unless this upcoming conversation developed to the level of shouting, which…it might do, actually. But even then, she was a baby. It’s not like she would remember this, or understand what they were talking about. It was fine.

“So,” Paul said slowly, setting his book down on the coffee table and leaning forwards, “How did…the appointment go?” He spoke slowly, hesitantly, like he wasn’t remotely sure what was happening but knew that it wasn’t good.

Sally paused for a moment. The time had come. She needed to tell him the truth. She just…didn’t know how, exactly. How do you tell someone about something like this? Should she take some more time to carefully plan things out? Maybe write it down ahead of time? Or should she just…go for it?

It might be best to wait. To plan it all out first. But that would take time, and she’d asked Percy to come by Thursday night. At which point he would probably expect both her and Paul to know, and be at least somewhat ready to talk. Which meant that she should probably tell him tonight.

So, ‘going for it’ it is.

“Paul, it…” Sally paused, looking for the words. “Percy, he…he told me about something that happened to him years ago, before we even met. And…he’s given me permission to tell you. And it…it’s really bad.”
Sally closed her eyes to collect herself, focusing on the warm weight of Estelle in her arms. With a deep, shaky breath in and out, Sally opened her eyes, looked straight at Paul and said in a tight, strained voice, “Percy was molested. When he was twelve, for a period of two months.”

As she was looking straight at him, Sally was able to see the change in expression come over his face. She watched as his face went from concerned, to shocked, to horrified, to angry and deeply, deeply sad. As he processed her words, Paul kind of fell back against the couch, eyes drifting off to stare blankly at the wall as his emotions ran across his face. 

For a few moments, the room was silent save for the sound of breathing. Sally waited, tensely, for Paul to respond to her statement…and Paul didn’t say a word. He just sat there in shock. After a few seconds, his eyes slid back to Sally’s face, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally bursting out with one word.

“Who?”

Sally swallowed heavily. “Luke Castellan, back when he was a counselor at camp. During Percy’s first summer there.” She stopped, took a deep breath in, and continued. “If I remember correctly, Luke was…nineteen at the time.”

Paul sucked in a sharp breath, looking away and nodding absently as he processed this new information. Letting out a shaky breath and still facing away from her, he began speaking in a voice tight with barely restrained anger.

“And what? No one noticed? Not one person noticed that this - this monster was - was…”

As he trailed off, Sally answered him quietly. “No. No one noticed.”

“Where were the adults? Where was - was Chiron, and Dionysis, and - and the other counselors? Where was everyone?”

“They didn’t see what was happening, Paul,” Sally responded dully, in a lifeless tone of voice. “No one did. Not -” Her voice shook and cracked as she admitted, “Not even me.”

Paul’s head snapped back towards her. “No, sweetheart - “ He stood up and quickly stepped around the coffee table to kneel in front of her, putting a hand reassuringly on her knee. “This - this isn’t your fault. You, you weren’t there, you couldn’t have seen -”

“I spoke to him every day, Paul. Every single day,” Sally broke in, her voice sharp and bitter. “And after, he came home to live with me. And there were signs, Paul. There were, I just - I didn’t put it together. I didn’t see what had happened to him. I just - I didn’t -” Her voice broke off as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, in and out. 

Paul was quiet for a moment or two, before he finally spoke. “It’s not your fault, Sally. This isn’t - this isn’t your fault, I promise. You - you’ve done the best you could, always.”
Sally kept her eyes closed. Yes it is my fault. It’s my fault, for not noticing. 

Slowly, Sally opened her eyes and looked at Paul’s heartbroken face. “There’s something else,” she started, pausing before she continued, forcing her way through the words. “Percy is - Percy has some…misconceptions, over what happened, with Luke.”
Paul began looking a bit confused, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. “What do you mean? What misconceptions?”

Sally sighed a little, making herself form the words she needed to say. “It’s a long story, but. Basically, Percy is…under the impression, that what Luke did to him was a…consensual, romantic relationship.”

Paul blinked at her in shock, then quickly scrambled to his feet. “ What?! But - but he - he was twelve! How - how is that - how could he see that as being consensual?”

“I don’t know, Paul.” Sally answered tiredly. “I asked Olivia the same questions. She said that, basically, Percy made up that idea to protect himself from the reality of what Luke was doing to him.” She sighed, and added, “Apparently, he’s made a lot of progress since they started talking, but, well…he still believes in this whole, ‘romantic relationship’ thing. I’m just letting you know now, so that you’re prepared if Percy describes Luke as his ‘ex’ or their relationship as ‘dating’ when he comes over next.”

Paul looked like he wanted to argue, but he visibly swallowed down his anger and nodded silently at her.

Sally nodded back at him. “And on that note, I thought I should let you know that I asked Percy to come over Thursday night, after his and Annabeth’s session. I know it’s short notice, but I just thought that after everything, it would be better for us to check in with him sooner rather than later.” At Paul’s slow, accepting nod, she continued, “Also, Percy said we can both talk to our therapists about this, so. There’s that, too.”

Paul nodded again, slowly. “Okay. Uh…okay. I…I’m, I’m going to start, reading up on - on all of this…stuff.” He spoke slowly, hesitantly, and nervously. Having finished his sentence, he gave one more short, quick nod. Then, he reached out and caressed Estelle’s face, as if reassuring himself that she was safe, and there in Sally’s arms. Then, stepping back, he told them both, “I’ll make dinner tonight. Well, I’ll order dinner, I guess, from that pizza place down the street. You’ve had to deal with enough tonight.” And with that, Paul turned and quickly walked out of the living room and into the hallway, pulling his phone out of his pocket to call in a delivery order.

As he left, Sally looked down at Estelle and smiled. That had been…rough, but in the end, it had worked out well enough. Paul seemed to be taking this…not well, there wasn’t really a ‘well’ way to take something like this - but he wasn’t taking it badly, at least. So, all things considered…could have gone worse. 

Sally smoothed down Estelle’s hair with her hand, watching her peaceful, sleeping face. In a little bit, dinner would arrive, and Estelle would wake up, and things would fall back into their daily rhythm. And even though Sally didn’t exactly feel up to that at the moment, she knew that the familiarity of their routine would help her get her feet back under her. Then, she could settle back into her life, process this information, and research the effects of sexual abuse with Paul. All she had to do was wait for the pizza to arrive. 

So, holding Estelle tightly in her arms, that’s exactly what Sally did.

***

On Thursday evening, around six-thirty, Percy headed down to the stables to take Dreamer out to see Sally, Paul and Estelle.

He’d had a pretty eventful day already. He taught his classes for the younger campers, went to joint therapy with Annabeth where they talked some more about Luke stuff (for about ten minutes, then Percy insisted they switch to something else just this one time so he didn’t start screaming in frustration), and he’d given Leo a sparring lesson.

(Percy had gone through with the plan he’d come up with on Saturday, and walked up to Leo speaking perfect, fluent Spanish. Leo was so shocked he’d dropped his sword, tripped on it and fell flat on his face. It was hilarious.)

Percy wasn’t entirely sure how to feel about this specific visit. He hadn’t eaten yet, as he was going over for dinner, so he was pretty hungry and was looking forward to eating. But, he also knew that tonight he was going to be expected to talk some more about Luke. Which Percy did not want to do. At all.

It’s just…everyone always acted like what happened with Luke was this, this big, horrific thing! And, he just - he was tired. He was tired of constantly fighting against everyone else’s wrong assumptions. It was just, exhausting, and he was sick and tired of it. But he couldn’t stop, because - because -

Percy paused for a moment outside the stables. Wait. Why can’t we stop?

That should be an easy question to answer. And it used to be, back before he’d admitted to everyone else (and himself) that his relationship with Luke had been really bad. Like, trauma-level bad. Back then, Percy had to keep fighting, because stopping meant letting everyone think that Luke had been awful to him, and was an awful person, which wasn’t true. But…

But now, he could acknowledge that it was sort of true, in a way. At least, the part about Luke being awful to him, not the part about Luke being an awful person. Because, well, he was. Percy could admit that to himself now. Percy could see the truth of what happened between them, and the truth was that his relationship with Luke had been toxic, unhealthy and mildly traumatic. Basically, it had been pretty bad. And Luke had treated him pretty badly, and had been a pretty terrible romantic partner, especially given the whole ‘attempted-murder-breakup’ thing. So, yeah. Luke had been awful to Percy. He hadn’t been an awful person, and everything had been totally consensual, but he had still been awful to Percy when they were dating.

Percy saw the truth now. And now that he saw it, he could acknowledge that maybe…he shouldn’t fight to defend Luke as much as he had been. Of course, he should still defend against accusations of Luke being a rapist/horrible person, but Percy didn’t need to defend against anyone saying that Luke had treated him badly. He could just…let those accusations go.

Huh.

Of course, it would’ve been nice if Percy had realized this before today’s joint therapy appointment. If he had, they might have been able to spend more than ten minutes on Luke. But, it was a good thing he’d figured this out before he went to see his family, so. Not all bad. Maybe things would be easier now than they would’ve been if Percy still thought his relationship with Luke hadn’t been terrible.

Gods, it was crazy to remember that. How Percy had used to think that his relationship with Luke was a pretty even mix of good and bad, and just ended really badly. Looking back now, it seemed…kind of insane, that he’d thought that. Of course, Olivia had helped fix that now, but still. Weird to look back on.

It was a really good thing Percy understood everything that had happened now.

With that, Percy walked on into the stables, humming a bit under his breath. He walked over to Dreamer’s stall, hopped on her back and headed off to Manhattan.

After twenty minutes of flying through the sky, Percy and Dreamer finally landed on the roof of Sally’s building. Percy hopped off of Dreamer’s back and let her go to soar through the skies above NYC. And with that, Percy headed through the roof door, down the stairs and over to Sally’s apartment door.

Standing in front of the door, Percy paused for a moment. Once he stepped into that apartment, he would have to talk to his mom and Paul. And unlike normal Saturdays, today Percy would be expected to talk about one specific thing.

Luke.

Percy really, really didn’t want to do this. He remembered how it felt, his first time talking to Annabeth after telling her. How it felt like he’d been turned inside out, with his blood and guts spilled all over the ground. How even the idea of looking her in the eye almost physically hurt to think of. That feeling had faded after a little while, sure, but…it had made the start of their conversation so stilted and awkward. And Percy could already tell that the same thing was going to happen here.

Percy sighed to himself a bit. Well, might as well get it over with.

With that, he reached up and knocked on the apartment door. Less than a second after he knocked, the door swung open to reveal Sally, like she’d been standing right behind the front door waiting for him to enter. Which, actually, she might’ve been doing, given the circumstances.

“Hey, Mom,” Percy started, then stopped dead as his brain fully registered her appearance.

Sally looked…awful. As in, she looked miserable. Instead of a blue button-down shirt and mom jeans, she was wearing a threadbare, faded T-shirt with an unidentifiable logo and raggedy sweatpants. Her hair was still tied back into a ponytail, but rather than it being nice and sleek it looked almost…frazzled, with a hundred and one staticky wisps of hair escaping the ponytail, and the ponytail itself looking somehow both limp and extremely frizzy.

But the thing that really clinched it for him was her eyes. They seemed…fervent, almost fevered with both fear and need. They were locked intently on Percy’s face like a tiger staring down its prey, to the point where Percy had to force himself not to look away. Essentially, she appeared to be in…pretty rough condition, and Percy was kind of really worried about her.

For a few seconds they just stood there, staring at each other in silence. After a couple moments, Percy mentally shook himself out of his trance and asked his mom, “Hey. Is…everything okay?” Then, a jolt of fear shocking him awake, “Is it Estelle? Is - did something happen to her?”

“No, no, nothing - nothing happened to Estelle, she - she's fine, sweetheart.” Sally hurried to answer him. “I just…I’m just, still processing what we discussed on Tuesday, okay?”

Percy blinked, surprised at her answer. The idea that something might’ve happened to Estelle was scary, really scary, but it had made sense. It would have made sense, and explained why his mom looked so awful. This…this didn’t make any sense. Like, yeah, this whole Luke thing kind of sucked, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world, not even close. Definitely not bad enough to make his mom react like this, two days later.

Actually, it might be. Remember what Olivia said?

Right. That whole thing about how other people tend to see the Luke thing as being really, really bad. Honestly, Percy still didn’t really understand why people had such extreme reactions to finding out about it. Before, he didn’t understand at all, back before he realized just how bad the relationship had been. Now Percy understood just how bad it had really been, it was easier to see why people tended to react negatively to his account of it, but…this all still seemed a little extreme to him. After all, it might’ve been a really bad relationship, but it was just an old relationship, you know?

Still, Mom was clearly pretty upset about this whole thing, so. It didn’t really matter whether Percy understood it or not. What mattered was that he helped his mom feel better.

So, with that in mind, Percy stepped forwards and enveloped his mom in a hug. “It’s okay, Mom. I’m here. I’m okay, I swear. You don’t need to worry, okay?”

At his words, Sally began shaking violently in Percy’s arms. Concerned, Percy quickly let go and stepped back to see what was wrong. Looking his mom in the eyes, Percy saw the look on her face - an expression of pure heartbreak and guilt. For a second, Percy thought she was going to start crying. But after a moment, Sally sniffled, visibly swallowed down her sobs, and gave Percy a shaky, forced smile, unshed tears clinging to her lashes. She stepped back, silently gesturing to Percy to come in. 

Despite his reservations, Percy nervously stepped through the doorway. Still, he glanced back at his mom, who still looked to be on the verge of tears. Catching his eye, Sally gave him a small, shaky smile. Percy gave her a tight smile in return, then turned back around.

This is our fault. We shouldn’t have told her. Why did we have to tell her? We knew it would upset her. We knew she’d be miserable. So why did we do it? Why the fuck did we do it?

We did it because she should know. She’s our mom, she should know stuff like this.

Liar. You just wanted to tell her to make yourself feel better. So that she would hug you and tell you it was alright, that everything was okay and that you didn’t do anything wrong, and that none of it was your fault and you’re a good little boy. Well how’s that going for you? Huh? How’s that going for you now?

Shut up. She’s still processing, she just. She needs time. Shut up.

“Hi, Percy.”
Shaken out of his train of thought, Percy turned sharply to face Paul. He was already sitting at the kitchen table, right across from Estelle in her highchair. As Percy stood there, staring at them both like a deer in the headlights, Estelle looked up and spotted him. A wide, innocent smile spread across her face, and she pointed straight at him and confidently cried out, “Pery!”

Percy looked back at her and felt his heart swell in his chest like the Grinch. Quickly, he stepped over to the table, picked Estelle up out of her chair and wrapped her up in a nice, tight hug. 

“Hey, Stella,” Percy whispered softly, laying a kiss on her soft, downy hair. “I love you, angel.”
“Wuv Pery!” Estelle said, voice muffled against Percy’s chest.

Eyes widening, Percy quickly lifted Estelle up so he could look her straight in the eyes. “What did you just say?”

Estelle smiled back up at him guilelessly, but refused to say another word.

She had always been a very quiet baby.

Giving up, Percy set her back down in her chair as Sally walked into the kitchen. Both of them took their seats at the same time, Percy sitting down next to Estelle and Sally taking her place next to Paul. Paul passed Estelle a spoonful of applesauce as Percy looked down at his bowl.

Huh. Blue chicken soup. Weird. Mom usually only made that when he was sick.

Shrugging inwardly, Percy picked up his spoon and was about to start in when he stopped. Right. He needed to sacrifice some to the gods. 

As if reading his mind, Sally quickly spoke up to reassure him, saying, “We already sacrificed some, so you can go ahead.”

Percy nodded in return and did as she said, glancing up and flashing her a smile, which she returned with a nervous, wobbly smile of her own. Without saying a word, the three of them picked up their spoons and started eating. The only exception was Estelle, and that was only because Paul was feeding her spoonful by spoonful between bites of his own food. Slowly, they all made their way through their meal in silence, until eventually they all finished, at which point they all divided up their duties. Percy volunteered to clean up, since it meant that he could put off talking a little longer, Paul moved Estelle over to her playpen, and Sally sat down on the couch and started thinking about what she needed to say.

Percy worked his way through the dishes as slowly as he could without looking like he was stalling (which he was). But eventually, all things must end. So, once Percy finished drying the final glass, he turned and slowly walked to the armchair in the living room and sat down in it, cautious and reluctant as a man walking to his own execution.

Paul and Sally sat opposite him on the sofa on the other side of the coffee table, holding hands for comfort. For a moment Percy wished that he’d taken Annabeth up on her offer to come with him for this. But, no. This was his mess. He could clean it up himself.

For a few moments, they sat there in silence, nothing but Estelle’s babbling and the distant city noises to distract them. Eventually, though, Sally broke the silence.

“So, Percy. I just want to let you know that I’ve explained this…situation, to Paul, like we discussed.”
Percy nodded stiffly. “Uh, yeah. Okay.” He’d pretty much known this already, but it was always good to get confirmation.

Sally nodded back, as did Paul.

Gods, they probably looked like a bunch of bobbleheads. Just, silently nodding at each other constantly.

Seemingly as sick of the silence as Percy was, Sally took a sharp, deep breath in, and glancing at Paul, she began to speak.

“Percy, I - I’m sorry for how I initially reacted to all of this.”

Percy blinked, a little shocked. He wasn’t really sure what she was talking about exactly, since she hadn’t really done anything wrong in that appointment, but Sally kept talking anyway, so Percy just kept listening without interjecting.

“I - I started crying after you told me. And then I kind of…hijacked your appointment. And then afterwards, I was just, really quiet. I didn’t really say anything about, what you’d just told me, the whole way back home. And, I’m sorry. I should’ve been more…conscientious, about how I was acting. But I wasn’t, and I’m sorry.”

Percy blinked again, stunned by her words but quickly coming up with a response.

“Uh, okay, thanks, Mom. But it’s really okay. You didn’t do anything wrong, or anything, so it’s alright. Plus, I did an extra appointment with Liv yesterday, so it’s fine.” Percy finished up his statement with a decisive nod, pleased that he’d gotten through everything. After all, it was important for his mom to know that she was in the clear.

Sally looked back at him with a strange, somewhat unhappy look on her face. But she didn’t say anything, so Percy wasn’t sure what it was that she was upset about.

Swallowing heavily, Sally let go of Paul’s hand and leaned forwards, a serious expression overtaking her face. Seemingly brushing off whatever it was that made her unhappy, she began to talk, in a calm, level voice.

“Percy, I want you to know that - that I am so, so proud of you for telling me about this. It is so, so brave of you to come forwards about this, and - and I want you to know that, that you have our support, one hundred percent. I - I’m here for you, Percy. I promise.

“And, I want you to know that - that I don’t, I’m not - I’m not angry, or upset at you, and I don’t blame you for any of this. This - this situation, it is not your fault, Percy. None of it is your fault, at all. I - I love you. You’re my son, and I love you, so, so much. I promise, I don’t blame you at all for any of this, okay? And - and I want you to know that this, this doesn’t make you bad, at all. You are an amazing young man, Percy, and I love you. This, this doesn’t damage you, at all, or anything like that. You - you are wonderful, as you are.” Winding down her speech, Sally glanced at Paul, appearing to expect something from him.

Catching her gaze, Paul also leaned forwards and began to speak as well.

“Percy, we are both here for you. We both want to support you in this. And we both care deeply for you. Neither of us blame you for any of this, and neither of us think that you are bad, or broken or anything like that. You are doing amazingly, and we want to help you heal from your experiences with the help of your therapist.” With that, Paul gave him a single, decisive nod, seeming to have finished his brief statement.

Percy’s face was on fire. He felt deeply embarrassed by their praise, but also deeply grateful. Sure, he hadn’t exactly enjoyed their whole big speech, seeing as every single word just piled the embarrassment fuel on the fire. Also, certain parts of their speech kind of…jabbed at him, like walking across a hardwood floor and occasionally stepping on bits of broken glass. Specifically, the parts where they tried to reassure him that he wasn’t damaged or broken…which he was. Percy knew he was…maybe not broken, but at least damaged, a little, enough for the whole thing to have been traumatic for him. So, those words felt kind of like being stabbed in the heart with long, sharp needles.

Still…Percy couldn’t help but be grateful. Because embarrassing and occasionally hurtful as that whole speech had been, and despite how obviously heavily rehearsed it was, Percy could sense the genuine sincerity behind it. The love and desperation behind every word - love for him, and desperation to reassure him, to make Percy feel better. And, it meant that they weren’t mad at him. They didn’t think that everything with Luke was his fault, and they weren’t upset with him for any of it. All this, it was…kind of amazing to hear. 

So, Percy smiled back at them, face tomato red, and said softly, “Thanks, Mom. Paul. That’s - that’s great to hear, really. So thanks.”

Sally smiled back at him, wide and bright as a summer sky. Paul also gave him a smaller, softer smile, but appeared to be almost as happy.

“So…hug?” Sally suggested hopefully.

Percy nodded affirmatively. In response, Sally and Paul both stood up from the couch and walked around the coffee table to Percy. Percy stood up as well, and spread his arms wide to embrace the both of them. Sally and Paul did the same, and the three of them embraced each other in one big, warm group hug. They stayed like that for about a minute, all three of them basking in the warmth and comfort of said hug, before slowly untangling themselves from each other and separating.

Percy glanced up at the both of them, still blushing red and hunched inwards. “Uh, I’m…going to play with Estelle for a bit.” He said the sentence as fast as possible, before turning and speed-walking over to the playpen, where he sat down with Estelle to play with her.

Paul went and sat down on the couch, picking his new book on PTSD up from the coffee table, cracking it open and starting to read, occasionally stopping to glance up at Percy and Estelle. Sally curled up in the armchair with her laptop and went back to working on her novel, also occasionally glancing up to check on Percy and Estelle.

Meanwhile, Percy and Estelle were building a tower out of blocks, an all-blue tower this time. Estelle kept accidentally knocking it over and bursting into tears over it, leading to Percy quickly trying his best to rebuild it to how it was before. They’d work on it a little longer, then Estelle would accidentally knock it over again and the cycle would repeat.

Around eight-thirty, Estelle started looking a bit sleepy, which made sense - it was her bedtime, after all. So, Percy let his mom and Paul know, picking Estelle up and holding her tightly in his arms. 

Sally closed up her laptop and put it back on the coffee table, standing up and walking over to both of them, saying “Okay, I’ll put her down to sleep then.”

Percy nodded. He laid a kiss on Estelle’s tiny forehead and whispered to her, “I love you, Stelle-Stelle.” Then, he passed her over to her mother, Sally, who cuddled Estelle close in her arms.

Sally smiled back at Percy. “Alright, then. I’ll see you on Saturday, sweetheart.” Carefully moving Estelle to hold her in one arm, Sally reached out and gave Percy a one-armed hug. Percy returned the favor, before letting her go. And with one look back and a quick flash of a smile, Sally turned and headed off down the hallway, presumably going into the nursery.

With that, Percy turned to say goodbye to Paul. He hadn’t been there all that long, sure, but he had an early morning tomorrow, so he wanted to get home and go to bed earlier rather than later. Which, of course, meant that it was around time for him to go.

“Alright then, Paul. Uh, see you Saturday?” Percy’s voice sounded kind of weirdly bright, but to be fair he was feeling pretty happy. After all, within the last hour he’d gone from dreading a difficult conversation to being both embarrassed and over the moon with how supportive his mom and Paul were being. He could sound a little chipper if he wanted.

“Alright, Percy. See you Saturday,” Paul responded, before kind of pausing. As in, freezing in place, like something major had just occurred to him right then.

Part of Percy wanted to turn and leave without asking. But, Paul and his mom had both given him a lot of grace tonight. Percy could find it within himself to return the favor.

“Everything okay, Paul?” Percy asked, slightly nervous but still on the cheerful side.

Paul looked up at him quickly, as if he was shocked that Percy had said something. “Uh, yeah. It’s just, well - you don’t think he did it to anyone else, do you?”

For a second, Percy just blinked at Paul uncomprehendingly. Then, the meaning of Paul’s question crashed down on him like a tidal wave.

You don’t think he did it to anyone else, do you?

As those words echoed in his ears, Percy’s entire world went fuzzy and he swayed a bit on his feet. It felt like - like he’d been hit by lightning, or punched in the face by a giant, or had the sky dropped on his shoulders again.

You don’t think he did it to anyone else, do you?

That idea - the idea that, that Luke might have done it before, might have gotten into an…unhealthy, toxic relationship with someone else - that idea had never even occurred to Percy. Not once.

It should have, though. It should have. After all, it made sense - if Luke did it once, it made sense that he might’ve done it another time as well. It made sense, he just - he’d never even thought of it as a possibility.

Deep down, Percy had always just assumed that - that his relationship with Luke, it - it had been special. Unique. Not - not one more in a string of - of relationships. The idea that it hadn’t been special, that Percy had just been another - another conquest, it just - it made him feel…weird. And gross.

And, it might not make much sense, but for some reason this idea of, of Luke being in… relationships with other kids, other people who had been around Percy’s age, around twelve, it - it made Percy feel…strange. Strange, and…angry. Angry, and protective, and - and upset - horrified, really. Just the idea alone, of Luke with some unknown, faceless twelve-year-old, it seemed… monstrous.

You think this is how people feel when we tell them about Luke?

No, no, that - that was different. It just - it just was. Percy, his relationship with Luke, it had been unhealthy, and toxic, and slightly traumatic, but it hadn't been like that. It hadn’t been horrific or monstrous or sexually abusive, like this other theoretical relationship would be. It just - it was different.

What’s the difference though? Specifically.

Shut up, voice, Percy thought to himself. It didn’t matter how it was different, exactly, it just was. Percy knew it was. He knew it was different, so it didn’t matter what the specific difference was.

What mattered was these other hypothetical relationships, which Percy knew couldn’t have happened. They couldn’t have happened, because Luke - Luke wasn’t like that. He had been complicated, sure, but he wasn’t pure evil. He - he wouldn't have done something like that. He wouldn’t.

You sure about that?

…No. I’m not.

Percy wanted to be sure. He did. But…he wasn’t. He wasn’t sure. And it, it felt like a betrayal, just to think it, but…but he wasn’t sure. Now that the idea had been shoved in his face, Percy wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure that his relationship with Luke had been special, he wasn’t sure that Luke hadn’t had this kind of relationship with anyone else, and he wasn’t sure that…that…

No. No, he was sure. Luke wasn’t like that. He wasn’t - he wasn’t that kind of person. Luke, he wasn’t that evil, he wouldn’t - he wouldn’t have done something like that. Not to a kid.

He did it to you though, didn’t he?

No, no that - that was different. Their relationship, it - it had been different, it - it wasn’t like that. It was different. It was different, and Luke wasn’t that kind of person, so there was nothing for Percy to worry about.

You don’t think he did it to anyone else, do you?

“Percy, are you okay?” Paul broke in, sounding worried. “I’m sorry, I - I shouldn't have asked that, I - I’m sorry, I -”

“Paul, it’s fine,” Percy broke in, trying his best to reassure him. Planting his feet firmly on the ground, Percy blinked the fuzziness away, and focused on the conversation at hand. Forcing a smile onto his face, Percy continued, “It’s okay, really. I’m sure Luke didn’t do anything to anyone else. There’s nothing to worry about. It’s fine.”
And it was fine. It was fine, because Percy knew that Luke wouldn’t have hurt anyone this way. And since doing this sort of thing with another kid would have meant hurting them, that meant that Luke wouldn’t have done this sort of thing with anyone else. So it was okay.

But if it would have hurt any other kid, why are you so sure it didn’t hurt us?

Ignoring that stray thought, Percy focused on Paul, who still looked worried. But it was fine, Percy just had to keep up his cheerful, reassuring mask.

His smile was starting to hurt his face.

“So, I’ll see you Saturday, then.” Percy stated abruptly. The sudden goodbye might be a bit awkward, but for some reason Percy really, really needed to get out of there, now. He needed to get to the roof, to fly through the sky on Dreamer. He needed to walk through camp, to lie down in his own bed, to swim through the ocean off the shore off Camp Half-Blood. He needed to get out, now.

“Wait, Percy -” Paul started, getting up from the couch, looking really, really worried.

Nope. Not dealing with that.

“Goodbye, Paul!” Percy rushed out, before turning and bolting out of the apartment, quickly closing the door behind him.

Percy took the stairs to the roof two at a time, bursting through the roof door and into the not-so-fresh city air, where he immediately whistled for Dreamer. He needed to get out of there, and back to camp yesterday, and that was exactly what he was going to do.

Dreamer swept down out of the sky and landed on the roof. Without a moment’s hesitation, Percy hopped up on her back and took off into the sky, heading straight for home.

It was fine. Everything was fine. Percy would get home, and he would relax, and this weekend he would come back to see his family, and everything would be fine. Everything is fine. Nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing.

Everything is fine.

You don’t think he did it to anyone else, do you?