Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I have a little story for you that I think you might enjoy. 

Who am I?  

Well, telling you would spoil the fun now, wouldn’t it? 

I would like to run an experiment in real time with you. During this process, you will see what my playthings see, hear what they hear, and read what they do. I can only put you in one at a time, or your poor mind might not survive. 

I grow tired of my current pair of playthings. I have picked two interesting humans for this experiment. Allow me to introduce Aubz and Rah, two writers on which this experiment will be ran.  

Please. Do enjoy. 

April 1^st, 2024 

Rah 

6:45AM AKST/9:45AM CST

I blow out a breath I didn’t think I was holding. This meeting is one of those that needs doing but is tedious to listen to.  

I check my phone for the third time since I muted my mic. No new messages from my Discord servers. No new emails. I write a few paragraphs here or there on my numerous projects, half-listening to things that didn’t directly impact me. 

I get a notification and check it. A cute photo of Seo Changbin in a soft pink suit. I smile down at it; glad I work from home.  

The meeting wraps up after a few more minutes. I start up my music again, and Killin’ It starts halfway through the song. I restart it.  

A message comes in from one of my more intimate Discord servers. I’ve been tagged in a video of Mingi’s hips rolling.  

Gods, he’s so fucking adorable.  

Another message rolls in.  

Aubz: It’s your birthday soon, isn’t it? 

Rah: Yeah, it’s the end of the month. Why? 

Aubz: No reason 0:)

Rah: I don’t believe that for a minute. 

A message notification from my work computer pulls me back into the job, and I miss the response. Aubz is one of my closest friends, damn near my sister. We aren’t sure if there might be blood involved or not. It’s complicated. We joke that we’ve survived just about everything life’s handed us. Our other friends say we should be in bubble wrap. They likely don’t realize we would still find a way to injure ourselves. 

***Dear reader, I will interject here as our subject, Rah, has touched on the precise reason they have been selected for this experiment. Both of the siblings have a preternatural skill in surviving odds that most humans do not.*** 

Discord is alive with notifications when I get another chance to look it over. Several servers have additional photos, videos, and GIFS from the recent performances from our shared K-pop idol groups. I’m still rather new to the community, my one-year anniversary in January. I have found comfort in them. I rarely have given myself the permission to really live life.  

My current life is relatively dull if you compare it to my history. Aubz and my other friends make me want to go out into the world again. Right now, I’m content to write. But I have bought tickets to Lollapalooza in August, and I am beyond excited to see Stray Kids in person. 

I have tags in three of my servers, and my inbox has three notifications too. I go through them all bit by bit, keeping an eye on my computer as it cycles through. Aubz's direct messages still glow red, but I save hers for last. 

Aubz: And you wanted to have a place for your writings yeah? 

Rah: Well yeah, ao3 might go down again and you know how I am about saving my stuff places. 

Aubz: Link: watchwhatyouwrite.inc  

Aubz: So don't kill me... but I hired this website creator and he made this website for you. It's a work in progress and I have set up a voice call with him later to go over the specifics (edited) 

Aubz: But yeah this is your present! 

Rah: Whaaaat T_T Aubz!! You didn't! 

I nearly start crying at my desk. My birthday isn't something I celebrate much because my life hasn't been so kind on birthdays. This is the first time in my life that I might be able to have a good birthday month.  

Aubz: I did!!!! We are gonna do a test run on it for a while to see if you even like it. 

Rah: Ooh what if we do something crazy. Like a crackfic. 

Aubz: Wait, 'we' as in you and me? 

I roll my eyes, taking a minute to answer a work message before returning back to Aubz's DMs. Aubz sometimes thinks she's not the same kind of writer I am. I think we will work well together. We had been talking about cowriting something for awhile.  

Rah: Yeah! We can write blurbs here or there. Like what if the guys met our favorite characters? 

Aubz: Yay! I've been wanting to cowrite something with you! Oooo just make it straight nonsense one shot scenarios? 

Rah: Yeah just nonsense, we can hinge it on some multiverse bs. Like Megaverse, but maybe with all 16 boys? 

Aubz: Ooo we can do StayTeez for sure 

I grin to myself. I draft another document for work and wait the slow painful seconds for it to upload. Something she said initially struck me.  

Rah: You said a voice call? What time? 

Aubz: Are you available for a call here in a bit? I told him you're three hours ahead of me. I think he said he was in Ohio so he should be an hour ahead of you. 

Rah: Ah so EST his time? I should be okay in like two hours. 6 his time, 2 yours? 

Aubz: Yeah, I have the day off today so that works! 

Rah: Okay, lemme finish this nonsense at work lol 

Aubz: Okie dokie! See ya then! 

I crack my knuckles one by one and roll my shoulders back. Time to get some work done. Maybe a little writing in between waiting on the dinosaur software I use for work to upload documents. 

***Now let’s meet the other half of our duo*** 

12:05PM AKST/3:05PM CST

Aubz 

By the time I sign out on lunch, I already have tons of notifications and tags from Discord. I scavenge the servers I'm in, snagging photos, GIFs, links and whatever else has dropped during my morning work hours from our favorite groups to upload to the servers I'm either the owner of or a mod of.  

The downside of being in Alaska... everyone wakes up before me and goes to bed before me, averaging between 2-4 hours time difference. It sucks but I have met some amazing friends along the way. Now out of all of those friends, Rah and I have decided that there is no way we are not related somehow with the number of things we have survived in our 30 something years of life so far. 

Heading anywhere in Alaska is always interesting. Even in April, we have a bunch of snow and ice on the ground. And just cause you are able to make it driving somewhere, that doesn't mean much. It's the walk to and from the vehicle that's particularly dangerous. I step out of my vehicle, grabbing all my stuff and turning to walk into the building. Not even 15 seconds later, I'm flat on my behind, my lunch bag falling to the ground. 

"Damn arctic sniper..." I mutter to myself before starting to laugh. 

One of my coworkers rushes over to me, "Oh goodness, are you okay!?" 

"Yeah, I'm good, just gonna bruise probably but no biggie!" 

She helps me gather my stuff and I check my red bull, making sure none spilled. "My most important item is good so I should be fine." 

"Yes! Caffeine is everything!" She smiles and waves before walking off toward her department.  

Making my way into the office, I unload all my stuff at my desk before pulling out my phone. 

Discord Server - Writer's Collective 

Aubz: well the arctic sniper got me again. 

Bella: you good? 

Eliza: Bubble wrap I swear. 

Katza: the amount of times you fall should be studied. 

Aubz: I'm good! My red bull didn't spill but a coworker in the building got to witness it. 

Rayne: You should see if they caught it on camera! 

Aubz: lol! Im sure security laughs every time they witness someone falling. 

The Collective is one of my go to places to chit chat. They are used to hearing me talk about falling or getting injured at least every other day. The work day goes by smoothly until my alarm goes off at 1355 for me to take a break for the voice call with Chuck and Rah. 

Voice Call with Chuck 

Aubz: Hey hey hey! We can all hear each other right? 

Rah: I can hear you. Hiiiii, I'm Rah. 

Aubz: Rah, this is Chuck. Chuck this is Rah and I am Aubz! 

Rah: Chuck: Hi there, uh, I've only spoke with Aubz on the email relays. What do you think of the website? 

Rah: I like the formatting. Um, but I see there's character pages? What are those for? 

Chuck: Oh, there's um sixteen of those. It's mostly for fluff, but you can put placeholders in it if you want. 

Aubz: Like for each character? Ooo rah there's 16... thats perfect! 

Rah: We were just talking about that earlier. Eee!  

Chuck: Sounds like that was uh the right number. 

Aubz: It is! We write fanfics and we have 16 people we love to write about 

Chuck: Well, if the site is good, I can give you both the logins and you can run tests. We can meet back up later if you need any changes after that? 

Aubz: Oh I do have a question. Security on the website? Do we need to worry about getting hacked? 

Chuck: No it can't be hacked... although I've had a fiery redhead try a few times... 

Aubz: Oh? That sounds like a story in itself! I apologize for cutting this short but my break is up and I gotta get back to it. 

Chuck: maybe another day. sends logins well if there's anything you need help with, feel free to email me. 

Rah: Thank you, sir! Have a good day. 

Aubz: Thanks! 

Back at my desk, work seems to slow down again so I check my phone and see a notification from Rah. 

330 PM AKST/630 PM CST 

Rah: I have a silly idea for a ficlet where Yeosang gets sick and none other than Mary Poppins comes to take care of him 

Aubz: That would be hilarious! He would so not be happy 

Aubz: So just some one-shots of crazy things that the boys get involved with that they never would in real life? 

Rah: Yeah! And we have GOT to have Sannie meet Lan and Moraine from WoT, she'll love it. (I will too but lol) 

Aubz: That would be amazing! Bella will squeal when she reads that! I should be home in a couple hours if you want to get on a call and get writing? 

Rah: Yeah, I'm gonna grab some foods and work on something else till you get back. Then let's see how Yeosang feels about seeing a Disney legend come to life XD. 

Aubz: Yes! I can't wait!!! *plots* 

***Yes, dear writers. Please. Let's see how Kang Yeosang feels about this.***  

Chapter Text

Watch What You Write 2

Chapter 2: A Spoonful of Sugar

April 1^st, 2024 

6:30 PM AKST/9:30 PM CST 

Rah 

I glanced at the clock on my computer before returning my gaze to the open document. While I was absolutely looking forward to adding as much content to our new website as possible, I still was nervous about adding anything to it that I didn’t want to lose.

Anyone who looked at my computer would probably wonder what kind of crazy scheme I was up to. My documents app had nine open tabs, two separate web browsers held countless more, and Discord was open on both my phone and the laptop as well. The second screen plugged into the laptop helped matters, though not by much.

In Rah’s Billionaire’s Pet document

Felix’s eyes crinkled in a smile. “Minho isn’t going to like that much.”

“No,” Chris said, chuckling quietly. “He never did like getting told what to do. Guess that never changed.”

“Sometimes the only things that change are the things that don’t matter,” Felix said, though his tone was distant. “I meant it.”

Chris’ mind pinwheeled, trying to catch up. “Meant… what?”

“That you’re pretty,” Felix replied with an impish grin.

My Discord notification sounded off, pulling me out of my latest additions. I grinned broadly. Time to cause some chaos.

Rah and Aubz’s Discord DMs

Aubz: pokes Present! Sorry that took a little bit to get home, there was a moose in the road, X.X 

Rah: XD OMG Aubz, did it at least move out of the way? 

Aubz: NO! I had to legit reverse and go around the backway to my house. 

Rah: Aw well at least it didn't try to follow you 

Aubz: Thankfully, cause pssh we have concerts we gotta save up for... not me paying an auto repair bill on top of all that. 

Aubz: Did you eat? 

Rah: I'm going to Lolla for sure, but IDK if I'll have enough for a concert too yet X_X 

Rah: Ope. I forgot food existed. ^^; 

Aubz: Rah... 

Aubz: I cant say anything cause i didnt grab food either, let me throw some pizza rolls in the toaster oven and call it good. I am on my phone so I can at least look at discord while i wait on them 

Rah: I got to working on Pet and forgot. I'll make some tomato-egg rice 

Aubz: ok so fic wise, are we just going to post whatever to the website and hope for the best? are we wanting to get some fics done before we start sharing the website? 

Rah: I was thinking of doing like little micro-fics to test run it. 

Rah: Just something crazy 

Aubz: to see if we even like the website right? 

Aubz: cause Chuck said he will try his best to answer any questions 

Rah: I don't think I've ever actually met a man named Chuck before, such an old school name. Wonder if he'd let me call him Chuckie? 

Aubz: We can always test that theory out lol 

Aubz: sends Rah his email address 

Rah: o.o I will send him questions for the site. 

Aubz: just let me know, its your website now  

Rah: Anyways, I think... we should do little one shots. Ficlets. Just like... Yeosang meets Mary Poppins. Hyunjin gets to be a My Little Pony for a minute. 

Aubz: omg changbin as a power puff girl? 

Rah: YES! 

Aubz: Seungmin as Buttercup? 

Rah: Hey at least I get to see him in pink again. I love that beautiful boy in pink. 

Aubz: changbin as blossom, felix as bubbles 

Aubz: his fav color IS blue 

Rah: Hongjoong as Mojojo! 

Aubz: Mojo Jojo? 

Aubz: the evil brainy monkey guy? 

Aubz: I mean height wise... 

Aubz: it fits 

Rah: Okay, okay, rewind, let's start with Yeosang and Mary Poppins 

Aubz: Yes yes yes before we get too offtrack 

Rah: Track? Rails? We have those? I thought we were roombas bouncing off one another XD 

Aubz: I mean... that's accurate but still 

Aubz: at least there's not shit on the ground ;D 

Rah: dies laughing No we're more civilized than that. 

Aubz: ;D This is why we cant have nice things 

Aubz: Ok ok ok, so Sangie meeting Poppins, how and why lol 

 Rah: Remember back when he had the eye infection a bit ago? That's what made me think about it. 

 Aubz: Ooo so who calls in Mary Poppins? 

 Rah: Mama Hwa. Gotta be him.  

 Aubz: Like a magical nanny 911? 

 Rah: Yeah! He's like "I know somebody that can help with a stubborn baby boy " 

 Aubz: How is Mary going to react to this? Lol she's gonna be like O.O 

 Rah: Who gave him that number? This is no child. 

 Aubz: Lol hwa will have to explain is that he's his child so technically lol 

 Rah: And she just shrugs and says okay I believe you lol 

 Aubz: Lol I mean who could deny Hwa 

 Rah: Ooh... does Yeosang even know who she is 

 Aubz: Lol he may know of her but it's freaked out that a lady is in his room trying to give him meds and pulling out all kinds of stuff out of her bag 

 Rah: She's such a cultural icon in the US, but who knows? 

 Rah: Oh good gods we can pull so much bullshit on them  

 Aubz: Yes we can! Lol. So our first little fic is gonna be Yeosang and Mary Poppins. Let the shenanigans begin! 

 Rah: So I'm thinking the opening goes something like this: Ateez is in the green room following a variety show. Seonghwa notices that Yeosang is a little pale, and he rides the same car back to the dorms with him to keep an eye on him. *singing way off* key spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down 

 Aubz: Wait wait wait Can we put song lyrics in fics? 

 Rah: Hmm... gray area. If we were gonna like publish, we'd have to pay a shit ton of money for the rights for it, and you know Disney lol 

 Aubz: Can't we cite it on the website? Then technically it's like we wrote a paper instead? (Disney, 1964) 

Rah: Could. But I think because it's fanfic, prolly fair use? 

 Aubz: Probably... we should be good 

 Rah: Okokokok so Yeosang is coming down with something and Hwa manages to get him into bed. And he calls the nanny hotline. And Yeosang thinks he's like hallucinating or something because Mary Poppins floats into the dorm room via umbrella. 

April 1^st, 2024 

7:30 PM AKST/10:30 PM CST 

Watch What You Write Website

It was dark out by the time they were heading home from the last schedules. Yeosang and Seonghwa were in a car together after the long day. Seonghwa's eyes studied Yeosang carefully as the lights flashed by outside the windows. Yeosang's head bobbed and a sneeze squeaked out once, twice, three times before trying to catch his breath.  

"Sangie, are you coming down with something?" Seonghwa asked.  

"I'm fine," Yeosang insisted.  

"No, you're not," Seonghwa said. He held a hand to Yeosang's forehead. "You're burning up." 

Yeosang batted weakly at his hand. "I just need to sleep. I'll be fine in the morning." 

The car pulled into the KQ dorms, and Yeosang clambered out of the car trying to get out quickly. Seonghwa speed-walked after him. They met up with San and Wooyoung in the elevator.  

"Yeosangie, you don't look too well," Wooyoung said. He also held up a hand to Yeosang's forehead. "Fever." 

"I don't need to be taken care of," Yeosang said stubbornly. 

"I beg to differ," San said, frowning. 

"Just leave me alone," Yeosang said. He left the elevator as soon as it opened onto the floor for their dorms.  

"Don't worry," Seonghwa said. "I know somebody that can help with a stubborn baby boy." 

He pulled out his phone and dialed the number. Yeosang waved his hands back and forth in a panic. "Don't call Jongho on me!" 

"Not Jongho," Seonghwa said. "Someone far more persuasive." 

***Dear sweet readers, shall we take a look at what the subject of this little ditty thinks of it? He might have a completely different idea of persuasive.*** 

Yeosang's eyes fly open. He is confused, because Seonghwa is in his room. He could have sworn he was alone and in bed asleep already.  

Then he looks around the room. This isn't his room. This isn't his dorm. None of his knickknacks line the walls. His personal awards are missing. His calendar is missing. The room is too small, the bed is too large.  

"I wish Jongho could make you take medicine," Seonghwa says in a sing-song tone. His eyes are dull and lifeless. It isn't until Yeosang looks directly at him that he sees that there are enormous black buttons sewn over his eyes. 

Yeosang feels a chill run up his spine. "Hwa? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Seonghwa says, his voice continuing to sing. "You are the one who is sick." He holds his phone to his ear. "Yes, nanny services? I have a sick baby boy who needs to take his medicine." 

Yeosang draws away. "Hwa, I--" 

A gust of wind knocks the dorm room door open. Yeosang stares at the open door, where now stands a beautiful woman holding an umbrella aloft. Indoors. He tries to find his tongue, but it is affixed to the roof of his mouth.  

"Well," says the woman. Her voice had a thick British accent. "You are no bouncing baby boy." She glances at Seonghwa. "I don't think this is the only one who has taken ill. But alas, one at a time." 

She shoos Seonghwa out of the room with her umbrella. A blink later, another woman appears at the door. The original one glares at the other. "You are in the wrong place, sister. Take your leave." 

"I was called!" Protests the second woman. Yeosang glances back and forth between the two, unsure what to even begin to believe.  

Until he recognizes the second lady. "Emily... Blunt?" 

"Do recognize me as the true Mary Poppins, then?" Emily asks with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Mary Poppins?" Yeosang blinks. "Is Meryl Streep also going to come to..." He glances around. "My room?" 

"No," says the first woman. "Shoo! I have this well in hand." 

Emily harrumphs. "Suit yourself." She vanishes in the space of a blink.  

Yeosang rubs his eyes twice before he accepts that Emily Blunt disappeared without a trace. His eyes trail up to the other one. "You said... Medicine? Right?" 

"Yes, yes," the woman says. "My name is Mary Poppins. You may be older than most of my clients, but your mother wanted my help." 

Yeosang glances at the door again. "That name... That is an old movie." He has to be dreaming. There is no other explanation. "Mother? Oh, you mean Seonghwa?" 

"It's rude to refer to your mother by their name, young man," Mary Poppins said primly.  

"He's not my--" 

Inexplicably, the woman began to sing.  

In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun 
You find the fun and snap, the job's a game 
And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake 
A lark, a spree, it's very clear to see 
 
That a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down 
The medicine go down, the medicine go down 
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down 
In a most delightful way 

Yeosang is nonplussed, but he sits down on the bed. The woman has filled a plastic syringe full of some foul-appearing dark red liquid. He has not taken a liquid medication since he was a small child. He hopes she will leave if he complies quickly.  

Except he cannot seem to catch the syringe of medicine from her. She continues to sing her song, to his bemusement. He finally sits down at the center of the bed and waits for her to finish. She smiles in a way that makes his skin crawl.  

"Now. Here is a bit of sugar." She holds out a sugar cube out in one hand as if she were feeding a horse. Yeosang shrugs it off and takes it from her. He finally gets hold of the syringe of medicine. It is likely the most bitter flavor he has ever experienced in his life. The sugar barely makes it palatable enough not to heave it back up.  

Mary Poppins smiles at him. "Good boy, Kang Yeosang." 

April 2 ^nd , 2024

8 AM AKST/11 AM CST

April 3^rd, 2024 

1 AM KST 

Yeosang 

I sit up in my bed with a gasp, wildly glancing around my single dorm room for the phantom woman who arrived via umbrella. I am alone. I rip my covers off and leap from the bed. The dorm room is mine. All of my things are where they should be.  

I tear open the door to my room and stare out into the hall. No strange women with carpet bags and weird medicine that tastes like shit. I leave the safety of my room and go to Seonghwa's room. He never locks his door. I pull it open, and he is there, sleeping soundly in his own bed. His eyes are not covered in large buttons.  

I lean against the door frame. My chest heaves as I try to calm my nerves.  

That has to be the strangest fucking dream I have ever had in my life.  

I crawl into bed with Hwa and cuddle in close to him. He mumbles in his sleep, one eye – one blessedly beautiful soft brown eye—opens to look up at me.  

"Sangie?" His voice is warm, if a little sleep-roughened. "Everything okay?" 

"Yeah," I say, a lie. "I'm fine. Can I sleep here tonight?" 

"Of course," he says. He cuddles in close to me. "You can stay as long as you like." 

I put my head on his chest, half expecting that he will disappear, or his eyes will turn to buttons after all. I fall back to sleep in minutes. I try to put the strange dream out of my mind. Morning comes far too early. I am exhausted in spite of what should have been a good night's sleep. 

April 2 ^nd , 2024

10 AM AKST/1 PM CST

April 3^rd, 2024 

3 AM KST 

Rah and Aubz’s Discord DMs

Rah: Okay Yeoasng has had his meds and he's okay now

Aubz: yay! 

Rah : Is Hwa okay with everything?

Aubz : Although I was waiting for Meryl Strep to show up  

Rah : We can make her show up later when there is real Devil Wear Prada instead of Poppins

Aubz : ooo that will be fun! yay for our first crack fic! I think its hilarious

Rah : is it realy crackfic if I want to have Yeosang meet Mary Poppins?

Aubz : lol possibly

Rah : Okay still crackfic. I think this is good

Aubz : Me too, we should post it! Do you want to share it in our servers?

Rah : Yes, I think we can share it with Bella and the rest of the collective

Aubz : Lets go! Also I have an idea for the next ficlet

Rah : Ooooh,  what's next?

Aubz : ok so hear me out… you know the Duolingo bird?

Rah : I mean yeah

Aubz : lol... so there was a prompt i saw about a weird language showing up in the Duolingo app.

Aubz: so chaos twins, Seungmin and Wooyoung

Aubz: or should it be Changbin and Wooyoung.

Aubz: lovey dovey twins?

Aubz: since Chan says Changbin is his problem child and Hongjoong says woo is his.

Rah : They should all cause chaos

Aubz : Ok so ill work on that on my lunch break. you good with that?

Rah: Yeah, my lunch is almost over T_T but I like how this came out. I think I'm funny lol

Aubz: You are funny

Aubz: Alrighty I gotta get back to work love

Rah: Okay love you

Aubz: Love you!

April 2 ^nd , 2024

12 PM AKST/3 PM CST

April 3^rd, 2024 

5 AM KST 

Aubz

Lunchtime finally! I rarely eat lunch so it gives me time to work on the Duolingo chapter. I pull my notes out of my bag and sit at my desk.

Wooyoung, Changbin and Duolingo... what could go wrong?

*** Dear reader: I am at the edge of my own seat. The siblings haven’t any idea that their strange little writings are being played out for my amusement. And now they already have two new toys to play with Duo.

What other ideas do you think they will inflict upon our sixteen beautiful boys? I know I look forward to their unhinged bouts of nonsense. ***

Chapter Text

Chapter 3: Is it a bird? A plane? Wait it’s a green… owl?

April 2^nd , 2024  

12 PM AKST/3 PM CST  

April 3^rd, 2024  

5 AM KST  

Aubz 

I clock out for lunch and move to the other side of my desk while grabbing my lunch since this time I actually brought it. My coworkers are used to me having either my Kindle out and reading, or a notebook out and jotting down random things. 

A phone notification comes through silently.

I check my phone to see that one of my favorite Tumblr writing prompts accounts updated, reminding me of a previous update of theirs. Pulling up Discord, I send Rah a message. 

 Rah and Aubz's Discord DMs 

Aubz: So I have an idea for the Duo chapter. Sitting at lunch and I was just thinking about that random prompt we saw on Tumblr a few weeks ago. 

 Rah: The one where Duo is like Athena's bird and federal agents show up? 

 Aubz: I think thats what we were discussing lol But i was something about a random language showing up on the app. I do think it would be could to make Duo the legendary owl of Athena 

 Rah: Ooh I remember now, it was like a random language showed up and you started learning it and didn't realize it was like... IDK the language of the gods or something? 

 Aubz: Yeah but Woo and Binnie learn it so they can cause mayhem between the two groups 

Aubz: Gotta have Lovey Dovey action 

 Rah: They would cause so much chaos if no one else understood them lol 

 Aubz: Now to figure out how to make it more chaotic lol 

 Rah: Ooh... maybe the language gives them godlike powers but it's random 

 Aubz: Ooo maybe have Duo actually show up once they learn the language 

 Rah: Woo: accidentally summons a giant green owl trying to ask San to pass the rice 

 Aubz: lol he uses the wrong tone of the language and it summons Duo instead of making San pass him the rice, then he texts Bin the phrase and Bin says it and it summons both Duo and Woo to him? to be honest Bin would love that lmao 

 Rah: He would because besties AND a random god lol 

 Aubz: chan walks in the room, hey bin, hey woo, hey giant green owl. walks out of the room only to back into the room like WTF? *insert confused Chan face* 

 Rah: XD Poor Channie 

 Aubz: #JusticeForFicChannie 

 Rah: Oh what if Duo does the Jedi mind trick thing and sends Channie away 

 Aubz: Lol and then Binnie and Woo both ask for Duo to teach them that 

 Rah: They'd be so excited lol 

 Aubz: but Duo needs something from them first. *thinks what would Duo need from them* Wait do we know Duo's gender? I dont want to mislabel them 

 Rah: We should check the Tiktok account 

 Aubz: I checked google Duo is a male "Duo is our mascot. The only thing he loves more than Duolingo is seeing our learners succeed. He's their #1 fan and biggest cheerleader. He's also very persistent. Duo isn't shy about checking in or laying on a guilt trip. He's like a parent: you never want to disappoint Duo. The shame is real...and very effective for open rates and retention. Duo is social, a great communicator, and rather emotional. In a word, Duo is extra. And people love him for it." (Duolingo.com, 2024) from the website 

 Rah: If he's like a parent… 

 Aubz: How would Lovey Dovey disappoint him 

 Rah: ... I have a stupid idea. He wants them to call him Daddy. XD 

 Aubz: LMAO! Omg and when they refuse? 

 Rah: He goes full Ares on them 😂 

 Aubz: Have him take the Mothers *smirks at Minho and Hwa* OH! WAIT Duo can take Hyunjin and San 

 Rah: Ooh and that's where we can do a whole ass Kdrama moment for both of them 

 Aubz: Lol which tropes would we like to use? 

 Rah: The one where Hyunjin falls down the stairs into Binnie's arms 

 Aubz: the longing stare and a breeze going through hyunjins hair with woo and san just staring at them 

 Rah: What if both of them just magically have longer hair too.  

 Aubz: That would work, so its more flowy when the breeze blows 

 Rah: San may not be my ult ATEEZ bias but my brain is like... Melting 

 Aubz: Now im gonna have to google san with long hair *inserts pics of san with longer hair* like this or longer? 

 Rah: Longer lol like shoulder length maybe? 

 Aubz: Let me see if I can find a pic hahaha *sends a cute long haired pic of San* 

 Rah: *sends pic of san with longer hair* I think this was from before he de-twinkified. Good fucking Jesus on a pogo stick, he's good looking. We need that sound from Channie about how he's so good looking. 

 Aubz: lol absolutely, hes yummy. now I know why woo loves him so much jk jk jk 

 Rah: Woo needs to let more people be Woosan sandwiches XD 

 Aubz: Yyyaaassss 

 Rah: Should we ask Bella her thoughts on WooBelSan sandos? 

 Aubz: yup!!!!!!! 

April 2^nd , 2024  

12:30 PM AKST/3:30 PM CST  

April 3^rd, 2024  

5:30 AM KST  

Rah

I turn my attention back to work after my break. I pull up the draft website to watch Aubz’s words come up as they appear on my iPad. I have only an hour left of work, but Aubz’s lunch has about half an hour left. I knew she’d likely be able to keep writing even as I finish my work day.

The words begin to come up. I smile to myself. Life is beginning to look up for the first time in awhile.

Watch What You Write Website 

Changbin pulls up his texts and clicks on the contact labeled Dovey <3: 

 Lovey: Hey woo what are you up to? 

 Dovey: Just got done with practice you? 

 Lovey: Same, bored now. Waiting for food. We have a long day of filming tomorrow. 

 Dovey: We are practicing for Coachella. 

 Lovey: It'll be good to go to the US! 

 Dovey: Yes. OH! So, I got a new phone. (I’ll tell ya later) but it had Duolingo already on it. 

 Lovey: The language app with the green owl? 

 Dovey: It’s an owl? 

 Lovey: Yeah, he’s an owl, you should see the TikToks, he’s very into our music too! 

 Dovey: Awesome. Well, I was just messing around with it and there’s this language “Lenguaje Divino” 

***Dear sweet readers. I am jumping in to explain that while yes, the language of the gods is being discussed, we very well can't let everyone know how to actually speak/read it. So, to make things easier for everyone, I went ahead and changed it to a common Earth language. Hopefully, you all understand. Now back to one of our play toys' writing.*** 

Lovey: You gonna learn it? 

Dovey: WE are gonna learn it. We can start messing with the others. 

Lovey: Also Stay and Atiny! 

Dovey: YES! 

Lovey: Okay ill download it. 

Changbin downloads Duolingo and sees that he has the language available as well. For the next couple of weeks, Changbin and Wooyoung seem to pick up the language fairly easy. During several interviews and events, they would send each other little love notes in the language, causing many people to speculate what they were talking about. 

 Wooyoung is sitting at the table with the rest of Ateez and says something in the Lovey Dovey language, causing Hongjoong to playfully slap him. “Speak in one of the languages we all speak please.” 

 Woo laughs. When he goes to ask San to pass the dish of meat to him, it comes out in the Lovey Dovey rather than Korean. Everything suddenly freezes. When he looks to his left, there is a giant green owl standing there. 

 “WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?” Wooyoung yells as he backs up. He tries to grab Hongjoong but finds that he is frozen. All of them are frozen. 

 “Calm down, calm down.” Duo tells him. “You summoned me, that’s why I'm here.” 

 “I summoned you?” Woo asks. 

 “Yes, you said ‘Pásame la carne, por favor.’ But the tone you used made it summon me instead.” Duo says nonchalantly. 

 Wooyoung rubs his eyes and pulls out his phone: 

Dovey: BIN! I ACCIDENTALLY SUMMONED DUO TO ME! 

Lovey: What? 

Dovey: The bird… it’s here 

Duo eyes Wooyoung. “Pretty sure Changbin already told you that I was an owl.” Duo scoffs. Wooyoung ignores him and goes back to his phone. 

Lovey: The owl? What did you say? 

Dovey: ‘Pásame la carne, por favor.’ But apparently, I said it in too high of a tone and it summoned him. 

Dovey: Bin? 

Wooyoung looks up. The next thing he knows, he and Duo are suddenly in a large break room. He turns around and sees Changbin. 

 “IT WORKED!” Changbin exclaims. 

 Wooyoung just stares at Changbin blinking… "What the fuck, Bin?" 

 Changbin smirks, and then looks at Duo in disbelief. "He does exist!" 

 "They do exist!" Duo says in a mocking tone. 

The door bursts open, and Chan walks through the break room. "Hey Bin, Hey Woo, Hey Duo," he says absentmindedly.

Chan grabs an energy drink from the fridge before turning back to leave. Then he stops abruptly. Turning and looking at the three of them, he squints and then shakes his head.

Before he can say a word, Duo raises a wing. "No viste nada," toward Chan.

Chan seems frozen for a couple of seconds before flashing a dimple-filled smile. "I saw nothing," he says as he turns and leaves the room.  

 Changbin and Wooyoung are amazed. Changbin grabs Duo. "You really need to teach me how to do that!!! Please!" 

***Hello again, sweet readers. I think it's time for us to see what this ficlet's subjects think of the bizarre situation they find themselves in at the moment. Don’t you agree?*** 

Wooyoung is still staring at Changbin and Duo. "Uh… Can we please address the giant green bird in the room?" 

 Duo clears his throat. "I am an OWL for the third time!" 

 Wooyoung puts his hands up in surrender. "My bad. Don't get your feathers ruffled. Can we please address the giant green owl in the room?" 

 Changbin lets out one last giggle before his serious face appears. "Duo, can you explain what is going on?" 

 Duo smiles. "Time for a lesson!" 

 Wooyoung and Changbin look at each other then back to Duo.

"Our lesson?" Wooyoung asks. 

 "Yes, you have already proven to not understand the tonal portion of your lessons, so time for some in person lessons." Duo smirks. 

 "Duo, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I think we are good." Changbin smiles. 

 "You are good when I say you are. Now, time for your lesson. Repeat after me. 'Duo es mi papi.'"  

 Wooyoung nearly chokes on the sip of water he was taking, "Excuse me? I am not saying you are my father…" 

 "Yeah, that's a no from me too," Changbin says quickly. 

 "Oh? Refusing to do your lesson for today? How about some motivation?" Duo asks as he claps his wings together.

Suddenly, the scenery changes in front of their eyes. Where there was once a couch and coffee table, there is now a throne and stairs. Duo is sitting on the throne, and he claps again resulting in two men appearing at each side of the throne with a black bag over their heads.

"I will give you one more chance to complete your lesson. Will you comply, or will you refuse?" Duo asks. 

 "Did I drink that much last night?" Changbin asks as he rubs his eyes. "Not happening, birdie. I am totally deleting this app." 

 Wooyoung pulls out his phone and actually deletes the app.

Duo sees this and becomes furious. His eyes turn red, and his voice deepens. "I did not want to have to resort to this. But you gave me no choice.”

He claps for a third time, and the bags over the two men standing next to him come off, revealing a long-haired Hyunjin and a long-haired San. 

 "San!" 

 "Hyunjin!" 

 Duo smiles at the Lovey-Dovey pair. "Now do I have your attention?" 

 Hyunjin looks at Changbin, and then turns to look at Duo. Hyunjin trips over thin air, falling down the steps below the throne.

Before he can hit the ground, Changbin is already there, catching him in his arms.  

 "My hero!" Hyunjin coos. 

 "Such a klutz sometimes, bubble wrap I swear." Changbin says as he nuzzles his nose to Hyunjin's. 

 Duo makes a faux vomiting sound. "Get a room!" Duo snarls, then turns his attention to Wooyoung. "GUARDS!" 

 Wooyoung is surrounded by person-sized drops of water in full knights' armor.  

 (Disclaimer: Not Sponsored by the Drops learning app!) 

 The drops of water continue to close in on Wooyoung, sparking San to take action. San rushes up, grabbing a mop that was leaned up against the wall. "I am coming Woo!" 

 Changbin and Hyunjin are also surrounded while San continues to fight off the drops of water. 

 Just as it looks like it is the end of the road for the four, a door slams open. A little old woman stands in the doorway. Everything stops, and they all turn to look at her. 

 "Grandma Rosetta…" Duo calls out. "What are you doing here?" 

 She walks forward using a crooked cane as her help. "I heard that you, young whippersnapper, are trying to strong-arm some nice gentlemen into calling you Daddy?" 

 Duo looks around. "Who fucking snitched?"  

 One of the drops of water drops his sword, putting his hands up. "Not me, sir! I swear!" 

 Wooyoung looks at the drop of water that just spoke, rubs his eyes and turns to Changbin. "What the fuck is going on?"  

 Changbin just shrugs. "Don't ask me…" 

 Rosetta continues to hobble over to Duo. "You come here right now, young owlet…" 

 "Yes grandma…" Duo saunters over to Rosetta. 

 Rosetta grabs his beak. "You apologize right now and fix this mess or else. Understood?" 

 "Yes, grandma." Duo complies, clapping his wings one last time. 

Wooyoung 

My chest heaves, my nails scrape at the sheets, breaths desperate. My skin is soaking, like I’ve been doused in water--like the water drops soldiers are still holding onto me. The ghost of Duo’s golden eyes seems to shimmer in the air.

Warmth. Sandalwood and cedar cologne. The scent pulls me to the present.

"Woo, you're okay, you're okay. I'm here." San’s voice.

My eyes adjust to the dim light. I’m in my room. I still can’t quite believe what I’d seen, if it is real, if Changbin is okay. My heart still races in my chest, a fluttering that is all fear.

San’s soft kiss to my forehead pull me back from the brink again. "Woo, you're okay, you're okay. I'm here." He says as he grabs me and pulls me into a hug. 

 "Sannie?"  

 "Yes, it's me, Woo. You're okay, we are in bed." San assures me. 

 My heart rate begins to settle, and I curl into San's chest. Warm. Safe. "That was one of the weirdest dreams I have ever had." 

 "It was just a dream. I got you. Let's go back to sleep." 

 As we are trying to fall back asleep, I can't help but think of Changbin. Is he safe? Then my phone notification warbles: I’m so sensitive because I’m so hungry.

 Against all of my better judgment, I pull my phone out and open the text.

Lovey: I just had the strangest dream. Call me when you wake up… and make sure you delete the Duolingo app. 

***Dear reader: I feel like we need a large order of popcorn to enjoy this more. So sweet of Changbin to reach out to Wooyoung. Let's see what's next in our sweet little chaotic writers' brains shall we?*** 

*CRASH* 

*BANG* 

*RUMBLE* 

"Sorry, I'm late!" The sweet yellow deer looks around. "Rosetta? Rosetta!?" 

 "Down here you incorrigible deer!" A voice calls out. 

 "YOU RAN OVER GRANDMA ROSETTA!!??" Duo yells out. "GET OFF OF HER!" 

 "Oh! My apologies! No harm no foul, my dear!" Lingodeer says as they back up, allowing Rosetta to stand up. 

 "Grandma got ran over by a Lingodeer!" Babbel sings as they walk by. 

 "Oh, shut up, you!" Rosetta calls out.