Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"And you'll call me when you first get the chance?"

"Yes papa—“ that phrase leaving his lips at an increasing rate each day that draws closer to January 4, 2002, his report date.

Domingo shoots him a sympathetic stare.

"Papa can you sit still for one second?" His father’s running around, calling the bank and Nacho's landlord, trying to get his affairs in order but he knows it’s to distract himself from his only son going to prison, just like he did when his mom got sick.

It's almost noon and they need to leave soon. Manuel wanted to drive him to the prison himself, be the one to drop him at the gates of Southern New Mexico Correctional Facility or SNMCF. Prison.

It’s a miracle he got bail. It’s a miracle he was allowed to report on his own after sentencing. It’s a miracle he got the minimum, 2 to 5 years for possession with intent to distribute across state lines. At least that's what his lawyer said in the meeting room after sentencing while running between court rooms and chugging cups of coffee. His dad found him through some referral service, a public defender type. He thinks he got a deal on him because his brother is a big law lawyer. "Mijo, intelligence runs in the family" he kept saying, but honestly, he thinks he got off easy because of 9/11. Too many Muslims and Sikhs to arrest and torture to care about another Latino kid caught dealing drugs.

Prison was never out of the question. But not so soon. And not federal prison. Ignacio Varga, a felon. He’s only 24 years old. Tuco had just given him his own crew a year ago. Him, Domingo, Cesar and a white kid named Bo. Tuco was having him run shit a lot more recently—counts, cracking heads. He even brought him to a meeting with his uncle last week.

Tuco said this isn't a big deal; that he wasn't mad; that he thinks someone set him up. Nacho knows it was probably just bad luck that landed him at the wrong place at the wrong time, when the feds set up a check point and he was on a run. As long as he didn't roll and got out quickly he could get his job back when he was released.

Mingo passed along a message from Tuco in the morning, while his dad was on the phone with the lawyer. The message didn't make sense, Mingo said he was pretty fucked up when he called him. "Tell him that my cousin is at the prison. Tell him to drop my name. Luco." Luco? Like Tuco? Their parents named them Tuco and Luco? Fucking weird family.

"Okay mijo lets go." His dad puts the phone down and looks hard at Nacho, seems to want to start crying but quickly looks away. Nacho takes that as a signal that he’s on thin ice emotionally and knows that if he stays quiet they can get through this. He doesn't want to spend their last moments together watching him process his failure.

Nacho has no intention to fuck up again. He's not going to stop dealing but he's never going to make a mistake again. He knows this.

He chose a simple outfit. Jeans and a black t-shirt. Who knows how fashion will change in two years when he puts it back on.

He keeps saying two years because he thinks if he says it and thinks it enough, it will happen. Nacho can follow the rules. He didn't get in trouble that much in school. Only for skipping, but he never cheated and he never got in fights on school grounds. He didn't deal drugs until he graduated. And his grades were shit but that's only because he didn't try, not because he wasn't smart.

Mingo kept trying to tell him that federal prison was cushier than normal prison, but he knows he’s just trying to make him feel better, like he always does. Mingo has that way of viewing the world that makes Nacho want to bubble wrap him and protect him like a little bird. The only reason he let him deal drugs was because he knows his family needs the money. And because he would be there to protect him. Nacho sucks his teeth in and shakes his head. Honestly, aside from the boredom and criminal record, his biggest worry is how Mingo will fare without him. His father said he would let Mingo work shifts at the shop since he'll need the help but that won't keep Tuco from demanding his share. He tries to keep these thoughts at bay and focus on the moment.

In-processing. He can do this. This is the hardest part. He knows this from spending summers at sleep away camp when his family could still afford that. He always got so homesick the first night, almost made the counselor send him home, but something inside him said to wait it out; that tomorrow he would feel better. He was 8. He's never known where the voice comes from. The one that grounds him. The one that keeps him from acting on his emotions. His mother always said he was an old soul. He thinks she just meant that he wasn't impulsive like the other boys.

He's reading meditations—well he's trying to read meditations. Live in the moment. Don't worry about the future.

They reach the prison without much talking. His father hugs him and then turns away quickly and gets in the car. There's nowhere else for him to go. It's 3:50 and his report time is 4:00pm. Right on time, like a man who opens his shop everyday at 6:00 am sharp.

He breathes. The guard sitting in the atrium looks at him, uninterested. It’s all so anticlimactic, like he's heading to a dentist appointment.

He reaches for the door. He won't step outside again for at least two years.

Bye papa. He doesn't look back.

Chapter Text

After a strip search, a medical exam, two hours of paperwork and an hour of waiting on a cold bench bolted to the ground, a man in an ill-fitting and cheap suit walks into the meeting room where all the newly processed inmates are waiting. He unceremoniously begins delivering a speech about personal responsibility and the importance of following rules.

He doesn’t introduce himself but Nacho figures he’s probably the warden or his assistant. Nacho spends his time tuning him out and acclimating to his surroundings. There are pictures of the President and Bureau of Prison officials on the wall and the air is stale and antiseptic. It reminds Nacho of a hospital. The fact that he’s wearing what look like hospital scrubs and white shoes also reminds him of a hospital. He is weirdly comforted by it. He spent a year going to appointments at the community hospital with his mom, visiting her when she was admitted, sleeping on couches and eating out of the cafeteria. He liked the nurses and staff; they took care of him when his dad wasn’t there, which was often because he was always at the shop.

He wonders what the guards will be like.

When a young woman walks in he snaps to attention. So far he’s only seen men and older women working in the prison. She’s moderately attractive with long brown hair. Not someone Nacho would look twice at outside but he remembers he probably won’t see any women his age for a while. She seems nervous to speak in front of people and Nacho is amused; it’s clear that almost no one is paying attention. There are about 10 other men in the room and they’re all either hungover, strung out, or asleep. Nacho doesn’t know what time it is but it must be at least 9:00 pm.

Her name is Melissa and she is the behavioral health specialist at the prison, she says. “Myself and my team are available 24/7–if you . . . Need anything.”

She sounds disingenuous as she delivers a rehearsed speech.

“And if anyone makes you feel uncomfortable . . . .We take threats of . . . intimate harm seriously here.”

A guard in the back sniggers. Nacho’s head snaps backward and then turns around to see Melissa’s face grow red. She quickly moves on. Nacho wonders if that was a thinly veiled reference to rape. He suddenly realizes he is the youngest inmate in the room. He reflexively squeezes his hand into a fist and hopes there will be other guys his age he can befriend and stick with. Growing up he learned that being the odd man out made you a target and friends equaled survival.

Some more employees come talk to them but Nacho grows tired and gives up on paying attention. He realizes how tense he’s been the past 6 hours and wants to close his eyes and relax his face. Realistically he knows that he won’t be able to really rest for a while, maybe until he is released. He wishes he was back in his apartment with Domingo or in his childhood bedroom. He forces the feeling away quickly before it takes hold.

Finally, the speeches end. The guards take control again and order them to stand and file out of the room. They’re broken into groups and led down different hallways. He was told during in-processing that he was in block C, the lowest security level, because he is a nonviolent offender with no priors. The way the admin lady said it made it sound like a desirable block to be in. He was so on edge when he first arrived he was too scared to ask any questions.

Nacho, two older men, and a guard in front and in back of their group walk through thick pressure-sealed metal doors into a large open-air atrium. There are six or seven round metal tables with benches in the center, an ancient tv and several metal chairs facing it to the side, and three offices with guards and other prison officials on the bottom floor. Nacho sees what looks like a cafeteria through double doors to his right and a door that maybe leads outside directly in front of him. He looks up and sees three floors above him with balconies on each level. A guard tower with views all the way to the top rises like a totem pole to his left. He and the others are wide-eyed as they take it all in.

There are a number of inmates looking down at them from the balconies. They seem both interested and disinterested at the same time; Nacho can’t really tell what they’re saying but he hears a couple of whistles. A very loud buzzer goes off, making him jump. He hopes no one saw. A male voice on a loudspeaker announces lights out in 15 minutes.

Another guard comes out to greet the group and dismisses the other guards. He looks at Nacho and the two other inmates intensely.

“I’m Sergeant Scott, the CO in charge of Block C. All those guards and such you saw before, you won’t see again until you’re released or if you fuck up. This is your home now. We call it the C-suite because you have more privileges than the inmates in other blocks. But that can change in an instant. Follow the rules and you’ll do fine here. Don’t be difficult, and you’ll serve your time quickly. The less I know or think about you, the better time you’ll have.”

Nacho feels a tinge of hope for the first time in weeks. Maybe Mingo was right.

“Everyday is the same. The lights turn on at 5:30am and the first check is at 6:00am. That means a guard will walk by and do a head count. You’re expected to be awake and out of your bed for the count. Breakfast begins at 6:30, you’re released by level to head to the cafeteria. Breakfast ends at 7:30. Immediately after is rec time. You’ll file out of the cafeteria into the rec area and stay outside from 7:30 to 10:30, rain or shine. That’s your only time outside for the day so use it wisely. The only time you can skip rec is if you’re in the infirmary. Or segregation.

At 10:30 you’ll come back inside. That’s when we have scheduled activities or you can reserve library time, and when sick call is available. Work details vary. Some work in the morning shift and some in the afternoon, some both, you’ll get assigned tomorrow. Lunch is 1 to 2 and is grab and go. Sandwiches and stuff. From 2:00 to 5:00 is work or free time. And from 5:00 to 6:00 is dinner. After dinner there are no structured activities and no sick call. If you work in the cafeteria you have a longer work detail until 7. How you spend that time is up to you. You’ll get a 15 and 5 minute warning for lights out and if you’re not in your cell after the five minute warning that’s an infraction. Three infractions in a 3 month period warrants punishment. All the lights turn out at 10pm sharp.”

Nacho thinks to himself that the schedule doesn’t sound too bad.

Officer Scott pauses and looks down at the clipboard he is holding. “Varga” he says. Nacho raises his hand.

“You’re on level 3, follow Officer Jacobs.” A young Black guard motions for him to follow. He ascends three long flights of stairs to level three. Jacobs doesn’t say anything as he follows Nacho from behind. When they get to the top he says “left” and Nacho turns. He walks down the row of cells and tries not to make eye contact with anyone but feels all eyes on him. Some of the men stick their arms out as he passes and make kissing sounds. Nacho moves toward the railing to avoid being touched. One of the inmates calls him pretty in Spanish, another yells “fresh fish” and his cell mate laughs. Jacobs must have taken out his Billy club because Nacho hears a loud clanging sound as the club makes contact with the bars. Jacobs yells at the inmates to shut the fuck up.

They continue on in silence. Behind him Jacobs says “stop” and Nacho freezes. Jacobs unlocks the cell door behind him. He turns around and looks into the cell and sees a large potbellied man laying in the bottom bunk, clearly asleep already. Cell 36. Nacho steps into the room. “Lights will turn off soon.” Jacobs says. Before Nacho can ask where to get a tooth brush the guard has locked the door behind him and left.

His cell mate grunts and turns away from Nacho. Given how the other inmates reacted to him he counts himself lucky. Surveying the space, it’s a bit smaller than his room in his dad’s house, which was already small.

There is a sink and metal toilet on the left, a small window with bars above his head letting in a tiny bit of moonlight, and a bunk bed on his right. He sees a footlocker and upright locker where he assumes they keep their stuff. The walls are bare and he can smell piss in the toilet.

The lights turn out. He doesn’t move a muscle until his eyes adjust. There is light coming from the guard tower but it’s fairly dark. He feels around for a step ladder, and finds a foothold, heaving himself onto the top bunk. His cell mate starts to snore. Great.

Despite how tired he is he knows he won’t sleep a wink. He tries to pretend he’s at sleep away camp, but the smell of piss and the adult man snoring below him shatter his illusion.

*******

Nacho may have fallen asleep for one or two hours because the lights startle him awake. The realization of where he is and what he has to face when the doors open sends him into a mini panic attack. Nacho squeezes his eyes shut until a voice next to him makes him jump.

“Jeez you’re jumpy” the man says. Nacho lays eyes on his cell mate. He’s a short bald Black man with a narrow head. He doesn’t look like an immediate danger to Nacho.

“I’m Huell.” He says.

“Nacho”

“Well, pleased to meet you. Sorry for the snoring.”

“Uh it’s no problem. Not like I slept anyway.”

“Yeah, I remember my first night. You’re young, first time locked up?”

“Yeah”

“Mm. Well you’re lucky. I’m a nice guy.”

Nacho wonders what nice means in prison. If it’s a sliding scale.

“You’ll want to get out of bed before the count. Jacobs will beat your ass if you’re still in bed. Learned that the hard way.”

A visual of the Billy club hitting his head motivates Nacho out of bed.

“Where do we get like toothbrushes and toothpaste and shit?” Nacho asks. He starts to feel more comfortable talking to Huell, who seems relaxed and uninterested in Nacho.

Huell points to the upright locker. Nacho opens it and finds a change of clothes, a tooth brush, and some soap.

“Consider yourself lucky. State prisons make you pay for everything. Although you’ll have to use your commissary money to buy more.”

“Commissary money?” Nacho asks.

“Money you earn from working or money your family sends.”

“Ohh” Nacho says. He remembers his dad calling to set up his account.

“Usually takes a week for them to process anything, so you won’t see it for a bit. Do you have someone outside taking care of you who can send you money?” Huell sounds genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, my dad. He takes care of me.”

“Lucky again.”

Jacobs walks by with another guard. “Babineaux, Varga” and writes something down on a clipboard.

Jacobs opens the door and Huell steps outs. Nacho tries to follow but Jacobs stops him.

“What?”

“I’m on cafeteria duty—have to set up for breakfast” Huell says.

Nacho suddenly feels anxious about being away from Huell, who has quickly become his security blanket.

“Don’t worry Varga, you can sit with your girlfriend at breakfast.” Jacobs says. The other guard laughs.

Great. He’s already showing weakness. Nacho reminds himself that he’s a fucking drug dealer for fucks sake and straightens up. He can do this.

The doors open a few minutes later. Nacho laments that he doesn’t know what time it is ever. He hopes he can buy a watch at the commissary or something.

He tentatively steps out and follows the other inmates down the hallway. The smell of unwashed bodies hits him hard. One thing he was not prepared for was the myriad of smells from hundreds of humans living in such close quarters.

He feels like it’s the first day of school and he has no friends again. He’s nervous about where to sit, who to sit with, and where to go. He’s trying to look brave and unaffected. He knows he has a good poker face. But he’s also trying to avoid direct eye contact in case any one of these guys is a gorilla and will take it as a threat. Nacho fees like his whole body is humming with anticipation when he steps into the cafeteria and everyone is looking at him. He spots Huell wearing an unnecessary hair net shoveling what looks like grits into bowls held by outstretched arms.

He follows the guy in front of him to the back of the line. The man behind him stands uncomfortably close to his back but he refuses to look back or acknowledge what is happening. One thing he knows from being friends with bullies in school was that they feed off reaction.

An aryan-looking motherfucker with 12 pounds of muscle in each arm eyes him up and down and grabs his crotch while walking by.

Jesus. He has never felt so humiliated in his life. Internally he is screaming and digging dents into the plastic tray he is holding, trying to hold back rage and tears.

He finally makes it to the front of the line and Huell greets him. He seems to be having a much better time than Nacho at any given moment. Huell drops the slop on his tray and the man next to him puts a piece of dry toast and one off-colored sausage link on top. He turns around and is immediately overwhelmed by the choice of where to sit. He ignores the groups of guys beckoning him over.

Everyone seems to be racially segregated. There’s the white guys, who look like they’re in the aryan brotherhood, including the guy who clearly has it out for Nacho, sitting closest to the door to the rec area. There’s the Black guys and Muslims sitting closest to the food. It seems like most of the cafeteria workers are Black. And then there are the Latinos, which constitute the biggest group in the middle. They seem to have cliques within cliques. Nacho can’t tell what divides them yet. Probably gang affiliation but he would have to get a closer look at their tattoos to tell. He tries to see if anyone is making a friendly face towards him or if he recognizes anyone but they’re all eating or look like they want to kill him so he gives up. He opts for a table on the end with a bunch of guys who are sitting alone and not talking to each other. The social rejects apparently.

There’s a scared looking young white dude sitting to his left that flinches when he sits down. At least someone is having a worse day than Nacho.

He moves his food around on his plate but has no appetite to speak of. He should be hungry. The last time he ate was when his dad stopped for some roadside tacos on the way over.

When Huell puts his tray down in a seat directly in front of Nacho he breathes a sigh of relief.

“How bad was it?”

“How bad was what?”

“Breakfast initiation” Huell says.

Nacho looks confused.

Huell laughs. “The cafeteria is like high school. Where we all size each other up and see who is affiliating with who. When you first show up it’s your first impression. If you look scared you’ll have a hard time recovering from that.”

They both instinctively look to the scared white boy who is clearly eavesdropping.

“You looked fine. But you’ll be a target until you fall into a group.”

“Are you in a group?” Nacho asks. He suddenly realizes that Huell probably doesn’t sit here on a normal day.

“Uh yeah, you can say that”

Huell starts shoveling what looks like a double portion of Nacho’s breakfast topped with syrup that Nacho didn’t see available to anyone else into his mouth.

“Why aren’t you a target then?” Nacho asks.

“Because I’m not young, and I have connections outside, and I’ve been to prison before.”

“I have connections outside.” Nacho says, indignantly.

“Yeah but if you really had connections, you wouldn’t be sitting with me. You’d be over there.” Huell looks up and over Nacho’s head. Nacho casually cranes his neck behind him and spots a group of Latino dudes, heavily tatted and clearly friends. They’re all intently listening to a man speak, who is seated like Jesus at the last supper. Nacho can’t see his face because his back is towards him but he can see that he is tall, maybe only a few inches taller than Nacho but with broader shoulders. He has black and pepper hair and is gesturing wildly. Nacho looks away.

“Who is that?”

Before Huell can answer another inmate yells for him about a burner and Huell gets up. “Duty calls.”

Nacho is left to his own devices again. He tries to sneak another look behind him but still can’t see who the guy is. He tries to look busy by eating his grits but they’ve gone cold and are now the consistency of paste.

His stomach rumbles. The kid next to him is silently crying. He again wonders what time it is and wishes Huell wasn’t on kitchen duty. He has so many questions. Who is that guy? How do you get “connected” in prison? When do you get to make phone calls? Where is the commissary? Are there even showers? Because it smells like there are no showers. When does he get his job assignment? How does he avoid getting stabbed or worse, getting raped? Nacho is desperate for information.

He looks up and realizes there is an apple sitting in front of him that wasn’t there before. He’s not sure but he thinks that apples and fresh fruit in general are probably hard to come by in prison. He turns to the left and right and doesn’t see who dropped it there. He reaches for it, but then pulls his hand back. It could be poisoned. Or maybe someone rubbed their balls on it and when he bites it they’ll all laugh. Huell returns to the table and sees the apple. He looks sternly at Nacho—“Who gave this to you?”

Nacho shrugs, suddenly scared. “I . . . I don’t know I didn’t see.” Huell quickly pockets the apple, surveying the crowd.

”Shit man you may be really lucky, or really unlucky.” He says.

Chapter Text

Lalo stretches his arms wide and twists his back, hearing a satisfying crack emanate from his spine.

It’s almost 9pm on a Friday. He’s ready for a quiet weekend. The shipment is set to arrive on Monday and he’ll be busy then. Lalo thinks about masturbating but gives up on the thought when he hears the outer doors open. New inmates usually arrive on Friday and Monday. Lalo steps out of his cell and perches himself over the balcony. Most other inmates who aren’t fucking or getting high are also doing the same. His cell is on the third floor but he can see the figures below fairly well.

Three men in maroon scrubs walk in alongside two guards. Lalo is suddenly struck by the memory of his first night and how long ago that feels. It’s been over two years since he himself walked through those doors. He remembers how deadly silent it was. Not like now. Tonight the onlookers are whistling and yelling at the group. A typical C-suite welcome. No, not at all like that when he arrived. That day even the guards look scared. He felt satisfied then. His reputation clearly preceded him.

Lalo does think the greeting is especially raucous tonight and quickly realizes why. Two of the men are old and inconsequential. No one he knows and no one who seems useful to him. But the third. He’s very interesting.

First, he’s young. Like very young. Maybe 24 or 25. Just his type. Young, dumb, and full of cum. Lalo himself is almost 35. Alright, he’s 36 but he thinks he can keep celebrating his 35th for a few more years before someone notices.

And second, the kid looks healthy—not strung out or missing teeth, pretty atypical here. He looks well cared for and like he regularly exercises. Lean and muscular in all the right places. Lalo can’t see the shape of his ass from this far away but he hopes it’s tight and bouncy like a drum.

But most importantly, he’s pretty. At least from afar. His hair is thick but shaved close to his head and his skin is glowing. Physical beauty is hard to come by in prison, making it a high value, trade-able commodity.

Lalo watches him intently. Officer Skidmark is giving his “everyday is the same” speech. Lalo knew it was a lie as soon as he first heard it. There’s a reason they call the Block the C-Suite, and Lalo made sure his lawyers got him placed here. He absolutely should not be—a cartel don does not belong in a minimum security federal prison—but Howard Hamlin and a few well-placed bribes made it happen. It also helps he was convicted of a nonviolent offense—racketeering, and that he is wealthy and connected beyond imagination. He even had a few state senators submitting character references about how mild-mannered he is and how he always picks up the check.

The kid looks up in Lalo’s direction and Lalo sees plump lips and big brown eyes that make his dick jump. Jesus Christ, he needs to get laid. Soon. It’s been over a month since he had steady fish to take care of him. Since Carlos was released on parole, no one has been of much interest to him. Ana thinks he’s depressed. She may be right.

This kid’s timing might be perfect. Ana will be in seg for at least another week and until then he has no cell mate. A perfect time to break in a new fish. The thought makes Lalo hum contently. The 15 minute warning buzzer goes off for lights out. Lalo sees the kid jump ever so slightly, and then make a point to look unaffected. He doesn’t think anyone else noticed the micro gesture. Interesting . . . Lalo wonders what he’s in for. He turns and gives a hand signal to Viktor, who is shooting the shit with his cell mate a few doors down. Viktor sees and quickly makes his way over to Lalo.

“What’s up don?”

“I want you to find out everything you can about the kid down there.” Viktor looks down, sees what Lalo sees and smiles. Viktor’s not a man of many words but he is perceptive, which is why he made him his second-in-command in prison.

“Happy for you boss. I’ll find out what I can.”

Lalo balks. “Ay. no one’s signing any papers. I’m not saying I want him yet. Don’t let anyone else know I’m interested.”

Viktor nods and heads back to his cell.

For all he knows he could be more trouble than he’s worth, or worse, boring. He thinks maybe that’s why he’s depressed. He never got to chase Carlos. Didn't have to break him in. Didn’t have to woo him. And although he opened his legs for him daily and without complaint, he found himself wishing for more back and forth. Maybe he was getting old.

Carlos was a gift. When Lalo was released from seg a month after he allegedly had an aryan bludgeoned to death in the showers and the guards completed their perfunctory “investigation” that everyone knew would come back inconclusive, Carlos was sitting there on the edge of his bunk, waiting. His men set it up for him, they knew it would cheer him up. And it did, for a while. But Carlos was released and he was left with an empty bed again.

He hopes this kid is different. Lalo Salamanca is a lot of things but a bad lover is not one of them. He prides himself on inhabiting the role. Taking it seriously. He dotes on his lovers, likes to show them off, to buy them things and make them his. He love is passionate, and all-consuming, and yes, sometimes fickle. He can be controlling and prone to jealousy, but it makes sense given the line of work he’s in. The cartel business isn’t exactly safe or predictable. He’s always at risk of losing his life and territory. His family is always at war. So he likes to know there’s someone warming his bed when he gets home, someone who is devoted to him and only him. He feels no guilt about this. He’s not selfish. He gets off on their pleasure, and yes, sometimes their pain. But Lalo never takes without earning it. He doesn’t like to cheat, never has.

Everything he’s ever gotten in life he’s worked for. And this kid will be no different.

Okay, he admits to himself, he was born into a prominent cartel family, but he was one of many cousins in the running to inherit the Salamanca throne and he’s fought tooth and nail to be at the top. He’s cut off heads and been shot, burned, stabbed. And now he’s doing time for his family. 10 years. He’ll be 44 when he’s released. No one can doubt his loyalty or devotion to his family, and no one ever will.

He wants to keep observing the kid, maybe get a better look at him but the five minute warning goes off and he heads back into his cell. He finds that he does, in fact, now have the energy to get himself off. Lalo is excited for the first time in a while.

********

The next day, Lalo wakes up with a pep in his step. He remembers the dream he was having before the lights woke him. A lithe, tan man with short brown hair was letting him face fuck his skull and moaning pleasantly. He takes it as a good omen.

He settles into his usual breakfast spot and his lieutenants file in. Nestor tells him the shipment is good to go for Monday, Lucas runs the numbers from the week’s sales off the top of his head. But the person he really wants to hear from has yet to arrive. He impatiently looks around. Finally, Viktor settles next to him.

“Anything?”

“Not yet. Word in the halls is he’s in for drugs, but no one seems to know him. His name is Ignacio, Ignacio Varga.”

“Hmmm Ignacio” Lalo repeats.

“Nacho”

“What?”

“He goes by Nacho, apparently.”

“Nacho . . . nacho, nacho” Lalo rolls the name on his tongue.

“There he is” Viktor says, his eyes pointing to the breakfast line.

Lalo’s eyes roam and find him. The kid is trying not to look around. One of the bloods is standing close to his back, too close. He’s joking with his friends sitting close by, making crude gestures of him fucking Nacho.

Lalo’s skin feels hot.

Nacho looks tense. Very tense. Like a coiled spring. But he maintains a cool expression. He’s slightly impressed.

He can see him now and confirm that he is, indeed, very pretty. Not even just for prison. If he saw him in the club he would definitely buy him a drink, or five. He knows the odds of him being gay are slim, but that isn’t a huge factor in prison. Everyone folds to their desire eventually.

Lalo’s fantasy is cut short by Anders, the leader of the axis of evil. He hates that mother fucker. And not just because he’s racist and a rapist. He’s also uncultured and unpleasant, like trying to hold a conversation with a senile chimpanzee. Anders spots Nacho and proceeds to eye fuck him into the ground.

Lalo sees red. He grabs the apple from his plate—the one he gets everyday from his kitchen guys—and hands it to Viktor.

“Do it.”

“Are you sure, you said you wanted to wait.”

“I did. But obviously he’s too valuable for that. I’ll have to take my chances.”

He knows this is a gamble. Staking his claim this early is unusual, and if he decides later he doesn’t want him he’ll be fucking his chances to land in a crew that could protect him without having to become someone’s pet. Everyone will be too scared to befriend one of Lalo’s boys, and he’ll be branded for life as fish, unless he pulls a stunt. But Lalo is entranced. He wants him, bad. He decides he’ll stop at nothing.

Viktor pockets the apple. He’ll wait until Nacho sits down and then he’ll discreetly drop it in front of him. Enough people will see and spread the word that he’s now under Lalo’s protection, and that anyone who touches him will lose an eye or limb.

He feels good. He feels strong. He grabs Nestor’s apple and takes a bite, juice dripping down his mouth. Delicious.

Chapter Text

"What the fuck does that mean?” Nacho hisses.

"It means that someone in here claimed you," Huell emphasizes.

"How the fuck—how the fuck is that even possible? I'm not some chick. And even if I was I'm a fucking human being." Nacho grows impatient. Huell is being cryptic and nothing in this prison makes any sense. He feels like he's stepped into an alternate reality where all the rules and social expectations are contorted and no one is able to clearly tell him why or how because they've forgotten how the real world works.

Huell's eyes are sweeping the cafeteria and he doesn't respond.

"Huell, please! Tell me what's going on," he practically begs.

"I'll explain outside. I need to gather intel. Just keep your head down and sit on the benches nearest the hoop when you get outside. Don't talk to anyone if you can help it." And with that, Huell leaves. Nacho feels like a child, like when his Dad would get off the phone with the hospital and refuse to tell him what was happening with his mom.

"Fuck me,” he says, to no one in particular.

The buzzer goes off and this time, he doesn't jump. The men get up in an orderly fashion, scraping and dropping their trays on the way out the door.

When Nacho steps outside, it's a sunny winter day. Slightly cold but warming up quickly. The sun makes his eyes burn. He hasn't been exposed to natural light since he reported. He spots the benches Huell mentioned and makes his way over. When he sits down he finds that he's not alone. Nacho seems to have acquired a shadow. The scared white kid from breakfast is sitting near him, not close but not far either. He takes a good look at him for the first time. He's shorter than Nacho, probably around 5'7'', and slim. He's got a pale complexion and blue eyes, with curly brown hair tapered down on the sides. Nacho doesn't want to talk and the kid doesn't say anything either so he ignores him. 

He looks around the yard. It's fairly big, maybe half of a football field with a tall metal gate and concertina wire surrounding it. There's a basketball court with one hoop on the far right, where he is, and rows of benches on each side. Huell is talking with some guys on the other side of the court. To the far left is an outdoor gym, a couple of weight benches and some old rusty free weights. He’s surprised they're allowed to use those; he could imagine they make good weapons.

Nearest to the prison door are a bunch of circular benches, similar to the ones inside. Nacho sees some inmates playing chess. Other than that the yard is fairly bare, with no shade except for probably later in the day, when the sun is setting and the prison building casts a shadow. There are only a few guards present, mostly standing by the door and not really paying attention.

"I wasn't supposed to be here." 

Nacho turns. The kid is looking at him. "I wasn't supposed to be here. I was supposed to get probation," he repeats. 

Nacho doesn't respond.

"The public defender said she didn't know what happened. I had a deal."

He lets him continue.

"I got busted for smuggling heroin across the border. I just wanted to buy a car. I was going to college in the fall."

He remains silent.

The kid seems to remember how conversations work. 

“I’m Brian.” Nacho looks at him in the eyes for the first time and sees how deep blue of a shade they are. He wonders what kind of welcome the kid got, with those eyes.

"Nacho.” They don’t shake hands, both sensing some unwritten rule about physical intimacy between strangers.

Brian doesn't care that Nacho isn't a good conversationalist and talks like he's delivering a melodramatic monologue. He learns in a few short minutes that Brian was an all-state baseball player in high school, raised by a single mother, got a scholarship to a fancy private high school but always felt like he couldn't compete with his peers because he didn't have money. That's where the heroin came in. Nacho can't relate. He never wanted anything better than the life he was given. Selling was always his destiny. 

He interrupts Brian when he sees two bald white dudes making a beeline for the benches. "Shut up,” he says, harshly, and looks straight ahead.

If he had anything in his stomach he might throw up or shit himself. He quickly makes an escape plan in his head. He'll run across the basketball courts and to the free weights, grab a loose 10 or 20 pound weight and prepare to fight. There's no way he could take both guys but he can try.

Before he can execute his plan they're on top of Brian, grabbing him by both arms and pulling him off the bench.

"Hey wha—“ they punch him in the stomach, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Shut the fuck up. Come on,” they practically spit in his face. He’s dragged across the yard to a table full of Aryans in the distance. 

Nacho watches as he’s embraced by the group, hands clapping him on the back and forcing him to sit down between two burly white guys with shaved heads. The group envelops him and Nacho can no longer see his back as they all huddle together, like a pack of white blood cells swallowing a germ. Well, be thinks, next time he sees him he'll probably have a shaved head and swastika tattoo on his neck.

Nacho's stomach returns to normal as he realizes he's safe. He thinks maybe an hour or less has passed since breakfast ended. Huell should have some information soon. As he mulls over the possibilities of what the apple and being "claimed" means, he remembers what Tuco said to Domingo. How had he forgotten he had a trump card this whole time?

Luco. He needs to find Luco. Maybe he'll take him into his crew and he can work for him; the Salamanca name must mean something in this prison. He can't believe he hasn't told Huell that yet.

Huell’s moved between multiple groups at this point, Nacho has been keeping tabs on him with his peripheral vision. Finally, he returns to the benches. Before Huell can speak Nacho blurts out—

"Luco—Luco Salamanca. He's my bosses' cousin. He's here. I need to find him." Huell looks dumbstruck.

"You work for a Salamanca?" 

"Yes, Tuco Salamanca, he's my boss." 

"Like you work directly for him, or just kind of in his orbit?"

"Directly, like second in fucking command." Nacho says, hoping that changes his assessment of his situation.

"Huh. Well, that complicates things. I wonder if Lalo knows . . ."

"Lalo?"

"Yeah, Lalo Salamanca. The guy I mentioned at breakfast, sitting behind you. He runs this place." Nacho realizes Luco might actually be Lalo and that Tuco's drug problem is fucking his life up even in prison. 

"Wait, so that's good right? I just need to talk to him, and I can be in his crew and I'll be safe, right?" He pleads, tone begging Huell to agree with him. 

"Yeah. Well uh . . . He's also the guy who . . . uh, left that apple for you, according to my sources."

"Wait, so he already knows I work for his cousin? Then why are we sitting here, let's go." He rises from his seat, triumphant.

Huell doesn't move. He has a look on his face, one that Nacho can’t quite place.

"I think it's time we had the birds and the bees talk."

- - - - - - -

Nacho can't believe what Huell is telling him.

Lalo runs the prison, like every facet of the prison. Since he arrived two years ago he's bribed every guard, including the warden, got them to place his guys into favorable work details, and started smuggling drugs and other banned goods through the food shipments that arrive each week. He has his guys who work in the commissary maintain two sets of records—the fake ones for the Bureau of Prison, and the real ones that show a burgeoning prison economy with inmates' commissary money being used for drugs and porn mags and bootleg CDs.

The guards look the other way because he's paying for their kids' braces, car payments, and even cable tv in the guard towers. Even Huell is on Lalo's payroll. He helps smuggle the drugs and other stuff in through the kitchen, and Lalo pays him a decent salary that goes into his actual bank account. Nacho doesn't understand this yet because he hasn't been to the commissary, Huell explains, but everything in prison costs four to five times more than what it would cost on the outside. A bar of soap is $3.50, a minute of phone time is 75 cents, and they're only paid 10 cents per hour, literally slave wages. It wasn't hard for Lalo to recruit guys willing to work for him, and he can enforce his control through violence and coercion as long as the guards and warden don't have to make official reports, which is usually only required if someone turns up dead or seriously injured. Lalo has honestly made their lives easier; they spend less time actually doing their jobs and more time sitting in the guard shack napping.

For the inmates, this means they can pretty much do whatever they want between the hours of six and ten when it's just them and the guards. They can get high, drink toilet wine, watch smuggled-in VHS tapes, eat junk food not sold at the commissary, and fuck. Even though they technically aren't allowed in each others’ cells, that rule is almost never enforced. The only thing that matters is that they're in their own cells by 10pm. It serves the illusion that the guards are in control here, but everyone knows it’s actually Lalo.

"So how is this claiming thing related?" Nacho asks.

"Well, Lalo, you see is . . . a man of particular tastes. Most guys just want release, and will do it with whoever is willing and often unwilling, but some of the higher-ups, like Lalo or Anders or whoever is in charge of the bloods and crips gang at any given moment, want a status symbol. Someone who belongs to them, like a piece of property. Someone they can flaunt in front of others and control. It's usually a young guy, who, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, is pretty like you." 

"Pretty? Why the fuck is everyone calling me that. I'm not pretty,” Nacho blurts out.

"Yeah, I don't know, you're not my cup of tea, but it seems that you're Lalo's, and that means you have two choices: you can accept his advances, and become his . . . uh . . . companion, or you can reject his advances and he'll throw you to the wolves. Or maybe he'll just take what he wants and then throw you to the wolves." 

"Fuck that, I'm not being his fuck boy,” he spits. 

Huell pauses, lips held tightly into a frown.

"Have you noticed anything different since you got out here?"

"No, why."

"No ones bothered you since breakfast? No ones made any crude jokes, or tried to touch you, have they?" He asks, rhetorically.

Nacho suddenly realizes that no one is even looking at him. Aside from Brian, who was—oh god—dragged over to the Aryans. That could have been him. 

"Yeah." He says, slightly indignant. "That's what Lalo can do. But he can also take that away." 

Nacho is at a loss for words.

"I'm going to leave you; I've got shit to do and you're safe without me. Think about what I said. I don't know what his plan is but someone will probably approach you soon." He turns to leave.

Nacho spends the rest of rec time looking around, considering the seventh circle of hell he just fell into, and doing exactly as Huell instructed.

- - - - - -

After rec, they're shuffled back into the prison. Nacho's name and a few others are called to report to the admin office. He's given his job assignment: library duty. Brian is assigned to work in the infirmary. The others are assigned cleaning detail or cafeteria duty. He's told to head to the library to start his shift.

A guard leads him down a hallway to a spacious and quiet room. There are about 10 shelves of books, CDs, and magazines and a few tables along the wall. There is actual natural light in the room, and Nacho is grateful. He thrives on it; can't stand not being able to see outside. He thinks to himself how ironic it is that he's on library duty given the lengths he went to avoid reading a single book in school. He's grateful for the quiet though, and it doesn't smell quite as bad in here as other parts of the prison.

An old woman with short cropped hair greets him. Her name is Gretchen and she's the volunteer prison librarian. She explains that the library is only open three days a week, and that he'll work there on those days. His main duties will be collecting books and reshelving, lifting things, and keeping her company. Nacho finds her presence pleasant. She's one of the first non-inmates that treats him like a real person. She doesn't seem to be scared of him and converses easily with the two other inmates who work there: a white and a Black guy in their 70s. Nacho thinks that he's probably lucky to have gotten this work detail. It seems cushy; the older men spend a lot of time sitting down. It makes sense that they got assigned to work in the library, but not him. He's young and clearly able. 

Suddenly, it dawns on him. He knows who did this. Fucking Lalo Salamanca.

Chapter Text

Lalo spends his rec time lazily watching a few of his guys play chess and taking reports. There's always someone who has a favor to ask him, or forgiveness to beg. He keeps one eye on Nacho the whole time, though, and is pleased to see that everyone is keeping a wide berth. He sees the white kid who arrived earlier in the week sitting near Nacho but Lalo knows he's not a threat. Lalo is amused when the skins heads finally grab him. A skinny white kid like that doesn't have many other allies in prison where Black, Latino, and Native inmates outnumber him three to one.

A few minutes later Lalo watches Huell approach Nacho. He likes Huell. He's a solid worker—takes orders well and keeps the other kitchen guys in line. Lalo knows exactly what contraband snacks to smuggle in to keep him happy: Zapp's and Honey Buns.

Viktor comes over, and asks him where he wants Nacho to work. He thinks for a moment. Lalo himself has no work detail, but that won't fly for Nacho. He wants him to be safe, and away from the skin heads and anyone else who could potentially be a threat. That rules out cleaning duty. He also wants Nacho to be as accessible to him as possible; to work but not work a lot. That rules out the cafeteria. Maybe the infirmary? No. He can't visit the infirmary unless he's sick. And the nurses are strict. The laundry is full of young guys. He bristles at the thought. He doesn't want any competition for Nacho's . . . attention, romantic or otherwise. That leaves the library. Oh, that's perfect, he thinks. It's just a little old lady and some old guys. And he can visit Nacho whenever he wants. The thought of getting afternoon head from Nacho between the shelves pops in his head. Hmm, that's a very interesting idea indeed. His dick starts to swell a bit.

"Library duty."

"Got it."

Viktor leaves to pass the message to the guards.

- - - - -

He hums to himself as he's escorted to the phone room after rec. He has a standing call with Hector on Saturdays. He dials Hector's number, and his uncle picks up.

"Hola mijo.”

"Hola jefe."

They exchange pleasantries. Hector always asks how the food is, Lalo always says terrible. Hector asks if he got the latest shipment on time; he says yes. They speak in code because the lines are bugged. He likes Hector to think that he's taking care of him by calling every week but these calls are mainly for Hector. He misses his nephew, his favorite, his heir. Lalo listens intently, responding to each story with exaggerated emotional responses that he knows Hector loves. ¡Qué sorpresa! and ¡Ay, dios mío! Eventually Hector returns to his favorite subject: the chicken man. Lalo usually tunes him out at this point. Hector has been talking about the chicken man for nearly 20 years. He always has a new theory for how the chicken man is trying to fuck him over; how he's plotting against the Salamanca family. Lalo secretly thinks that Hector projects because he feels some sort of guilt about killing Max. Like he believes the chicken man has a right to kill him for it. At the end of the call, Hector says that Tuco wants Lalo to call him. He sighs. He'll do it because he loves his uncle, but he hates calling Tuco. He's never sober anymore and talking with him is pointless, he usually gets his information about the Albuquerque business from Hector. Nevertheless, he agrees to call. They say their good byes and he dials Tuco's number.

The phone rings twice, and Tuco picks up. He’s surprised to hear that Tuco actually sounds almost sober. "Hola primo, ¿Qué tal?" Tuco proceeds to tell him how business is, that he bought a new car, who he fucked last night, the usual. Lalo grows impatient and asks Tuco what it is he needs. It's funny how even though he’s the one in prison, his family still seems to rely on him. "Oh yeah," Tuco says. "I wanted you to look out for my man Ignacio. He should have gotten there yesterday." Lalo freezes. "Ignacio Varga, Nacho?" he asks. "Yeah, he's solid. Started working not too long ago but he's already better than some of my veterans. Got pinched on a random check point but I trust him. He's good: promising even. Have you seen him?" His first instinct is to lie. Nacho's not just some poor kid from Albuquerque. Shit, he should have waited, like Viktor said. If he had known he was trustworthy, that he worked for his cousin, he would have brought him in first thing. Tuco will be mad if he finds out he made Nacho his new toy, probably cry about how he won't be able to look him in the eye when he gets out. Even so, he still would have wanted to fuck him, and maybe he would have anyway. "Lalo?" Tuco interrupts. He's been silent for too long. "Uh, yeah, he's here, I brought him in. He's fine." he says. Lalo makes up an excuse to end the call and hangs up. Lalo will deal with Tuco later. He has gifts to buy.

At the end of Nacho’s shift he’s officially starving. Gretchen lets them out 15 minutes early so they can grab lunch before it ends. He hustles to the cafeteria and finds it almost empty. He sees Huell behind the serving counter and gives him a nod. He eyes the turkey sandwiches and grabs two, along with a bag of chips and some sad looking carrots.

He turns around and sees Brian sitting alone a few tables over. He doesn’t want to risk running into Lalo and decides to be friendly for a change. As he approaches Brian, he sees that something is wrong with him.

“Woah, what happened?” Brian’s lip is split, and his eyes are rimmed with red. He can see that his shirt is ripped near the armpit and that his cheek is slightly swollen.

“I . . . was in the infirmary, restocking bandages and . . . Anders . . .” Brian can’t find the words. Just then Anders and two of his naked mole rats walk into the cafeteria.

“Oy, Brian!” They yell. Nacho freezes in place.

As they approach, Nacho sees Brian shiver.

“There you are little bird. I was worried about you. I told you not to stray too far away, didn’t I?” Anders says to Brian softly, like he’s a small child.

“He can sit where he wants,” Nacho interrupts, suddenly finding his voice and weirdly feeling protective over this kid he just met. Nacho doesn’t like Anders’ tone.

“This doesn’t concern you, little Salamanca. It’s a family matter, so fuck off.”

Brian gets up. “It’s ok Nacho. I’m fine.” He doesn’t look fine.

Nacho lets them go without saying anything else. As they walk out, he sees Anders slap the back of Brian’s neck with his meaty claw and pull him close.

- - - - -

After eating alone, Nacho doesn’t know what to do until dinner. The inmates are milling about on the floor, some are watching tv, others are reading or talking at the tables. Many are hanging over the balconies on each level. He decides to go to his cell. If Lalo wants to find him he will. There’s no point in trying to hide.

When he gets up to the third floor his legs are burning. He needs to get back into his workout routine, or he’s just exhausted from a sleepless night and cumulative stress. When he returns to his cell he sees a pile of clothes on his bed.

There’s a full new set of uniforms, including another set of shoes, three pairs of socks, a beanie, another, better pillow, a jacket, toothpaste, soap, a razor, Vaseline, and shaving cream. Everything he’s made a mental note to buy when his commissary money finally arrives. He knows, based on what Huell told him, that this probably cost over a hundred dollars, maybe more. There’s no way he would have been able to buy it all at once.

He puts the stuff away and tries out the new pillow. Much better. Not lumpy and doesn’t smell faintly like BO. He knows who he has to thank—or rather—repay for this. He thinks how crazy it is that the last 24 hours of his life have been dictated by a man he’s never met, who saw him presumably from afar and wanted to fuck him so bad that he basically signed the equivalent of a prison marriage contract without ever even talking to him. Psychotic behavior.

He has no idea how to navigate this. Soon he’ll have to confront the reality that Lalo isn’t doing all of this out of the kindness of his heart.

Just then Huell steps into the room.

“Woah, new stuff. Lalo?” He asks.

“Yeah.”

“Dang, I wish Lalo was sweet on me.”

Nacho gives him a death glare.

“Just kidding, I’ve seen his dick in the showers. Good luck.”

Nacho exaggerates a sigh.

“What am I supposed to do?” He asks, thinking out loud.

Huell shakes his head. “I don’t know, maybe try to convince him you’re more useful for other things?”

“Like what? It seems like he has everything figured out here.”

“I don’t know, Nacho. Maybe play up your taco connection?”

“Tuco.” Nacho corrects him.

“Oh, Tuco . . . But you also have to remember he has an image to protect. If he goes back on his decision he’ll look weak. And that’s everything to him. That’s his whole business.”

Nacho closes his eyes. Maybe he can lay in his cell until he dies of dehydration or starvation.

“Nacho,” Huell suddenly says, tenseness evident in his tone.

Nacho opens his eyes and lifts his head up. There’s a man standing in their doorway. He’s average height, with a round face. He looks like a cousin.

“Viktor,” Huell says, giving him a nod and taking his leave.

Nacho is left alone in the cell.

“It’s time,” Viktor says, cryptically. He knows what he means. He briefly thinks about refusing to leave with him but then another man steps into his view. They came prepared for the possibility he would cause trouble. The other man is taller, heavily tattooed, with shifty eyes and sharp cheekbones. Nacho is too tired to fight.

“Ok,” Nacho responds, defeated, and follows them out.

- - - - - -

Viktor leads the group along the third floor balcony. The north and south sides are connected by a narrow walkway that runs in front of the guard tower. Lalo’s cell appears to be the furthest to the east side of the building. His blood pressure starts to rise as they silently make their way over. He’s extremely nervous, and doesn’t know what Lalo will expect. He’s trying to formulate a way to reject Lalo’s advances without getting himself stabbed but his brain is short circuiting.

They arrive in front of a cell. Room 31. A tall man is laying out on the bunk bed with his arms resting behind his head and legs crossed over the end, almost like he’s on a hammock. He’s clearly too tall to fit.

Nacho notices a few things first: one, his mustache. It reminds him of his dad. His mind flits to the idea of kissing someone with a mustache, and how that must feel. Second, his sense of ease. He’s completely unbothered, like he’s laying on a beach instead of in his prison cell.

Lalo rises. “Ah, Mr. Nacho, what a pleasure to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.” He’s maintaining a cool, almost professional manner.

Nacho doesn’t respond.

“Come on in,” he says with a devilish grin. “I won’t bite.” There it is. Nacho can tell he’s attempting to restrain himself from being overly familiar.

He doesn’t move, so Viktor shoves him into Lalo’s cell. Nacho stumbles in, and catches himself on the wall. He stands upright quickly and maintains a steely demeanor, meeting Lalo’s eyeline with intent, like he’s a predator he needs to keep in his vision lest he sneak up on him. He doesn’t know how to describe the way it feels to be in Lalo’s gaze but it’s like he’s a cold glass of water and Lalo has been wandering the desert for the past three days. He can’t maintain eye contact and looks away.

Viktor and Nestor turn to leave. Nacho is left alone with Lalo for the first time.

Nacho notices that his room is bigger than his. By about a foot or two on each side. He didn’t think prison cells could have size differences. He also notices that he has a lot of nonstandard furniture. He has a desk, a small reading lamp, a radio on the window sill, and books. Lots of books. His bedding is different too. Not the scratchy cotton sheets and thin blanket they all have. Nacho wonders if his mattress is also custom.

“Please, have a seat.” Lalo points to a reading chair by the window.

“Coffee?”

“Ok,” Nacho says, weakly.

Lalo laughs. “Ok he says.”

He begins boiling water on a hot plate he’s also apparently allowed to have in his cell.

Nacho doesn’t know what to do in this twilight zone episode. He’s sitting in the cell of his boss’s boss and cousin, pretending he’s just visiting his home and not sitting in his prison cell waiting for him to explain how he likes his balls fondled, or whatever.

Lalo turns back to Nacho. “So, you work for my cousin.”

“Yes,” Nacho responds, tersely.

“I’m surprised I have not heard of you before, Tuco speaks very highly of you.”

Nacho remains silent.

“Not a man of many words, eh? That’s fine. I talk enough for the both of us.”

He pours some instant coffee into the boiled water and hands it to Nacho in a mug. Nacho extends his arm to grab it and realizes this is the closest he’s been to Lalo yet. From sitting down Lalo looks menacing. He’s probably pushing six feet with very broad shoulders. Nacho can see the gray streaks in his hair and the smile lines on his forehead. He guesses he’s in his mid to late 30s. His skin is sun kissed despite the conditions and he appears well-groomed. His room smells good, actually. Like spices and books. Nacho takes the mug. Lalo watches his face intensely. He’s studying him, his facial expression, body language, even the color of his skin for any reaction.

Nacho is relieved to have something to do with his hands. He’s also relieved to have a weapon he can bludgeon Lalo with if he makes a move.

Lalo makes himself a cup and then sits on his bunk, giving Nacho some breathing room.

“Did you receive my gifts?” He says, breaking the silence.

“Yes, uh, thanks.” He knows he has to maintain a respectful manner with Lalo, for his sake and for the sake of his job post-release.

“Good. I want you to be comfortable. Prison can be so . . . gross. Smelly, and uncomfortable without life’s simple pleasures.” At least they agree on that.

“Lalo, I—“ Nacho begins to speak, hoping to break through the useless small talk and start the process of breaking up with Lalo before the relationship even starts.

“Don’t,” Lalo interrupts. “Don’t say anything until you hear me out. Don’t say anything you won’t be able to take back. I am a patient man but I am not forgiving.” Nacho instinctively shuts his mouth.

Lalo begins. “Here’s the deal. You know what I want from you. I’m sure Huell told you. I understand that it is probably shocking. The timing was not ideal. It would have been different if I knew who you were before you arrived. But maybe not.” Nacho wants to push back and ask what that means but he stays silent. “Because of this I am giving you a choice. We will get to know each other, over some time, and in that time I promise I won’t touch you, won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. If after that period you do not want this arrangement I will release you.” Nacho is instantly relieved. He knows what he will pick when the time comes.

“In that time I will ask you to abide by certain rules.” Lalo takes a sip of his coffee, then continues. “One, stay by my side or with my guys at all times, except if you are on work detail or in your cell. If you want to go somewhere you have to ask or bring Viktor or Nestor or Lucas. Huell is also safe.” Nacho hates this already.

“Two, no sex with anyone else, period.” Lalo seems to emphasize this point unnecessarily. Nacho wasn’t planning on it.

“Three, never, ever, disrespect me or talk back to me in front of others. Always do as I say. If you disagree with me you can speak with me privately, and with respect.” Nacho nods. He’s accustomed to operating this way. Tuco would never tolerate insolence.

“In exchange you will get my protection. You will literally be the safest person in this entire prison. If anyone so much as gives you a wayward look, you tell me and I will take care of it. You are my number one priority.” Nacho doesn’t like the idea of being Lalo’s “number one priority” but he has enjoyed the feeling of safety so far.

“I will also take care of all of your material needs. Anything you need, it is done.” Lalo snaps his fingers.

“I also promise to take care of all of your . . . carnal needs. I am very attentive and will ensure your complete satisfaction.” Nacho’s stomach flips. He can’t help but give a pained expression.

Lalo continues, “you may not believe it now but in a few days you will begin to grow restless, and crave the touch of another person, sexual or otherwise. Prison is a harsh and boring place and sex becomes more vital, more necessary. Many men who are not gay find comfort in each other’s arms here and it is not stigmatized as it is outside.”

Nacho interrupts him. “Are you even gay?”

Lalo smiles, but tightly, like he’s annoyed by the question. “Not that it matters but yes, yes I am,” he says, matter of factly.

Nacho is taken aback. He didn’t expect that answer. He’s never met anyone in his business who would admit that. And his only exposure to gay people were the kids he and his friends would mercilessly bully in school, who honestly might not have even been gay, just slightly feminine. There is nothing about Lalo that would make him suspect he was gay. If he met him outside he would assume he was just a lady’s man. He’s attractive, and fit, and exudes confidence in a way that women find very appealing.

“Does that bother you, Nachito?” Lalo says in a deeper and teasing tone.

He hates that nickname. He made his dad stop calling him that when he was eight and would beat anyone who dared say it to a pulp.

“No,” he lies.

Lalo chuckles. He already knows his tells.

“Okay, that’s finally settled. Let’s enjoy the rest of our day, eh?” He says, getting up energetically.

Nacho gets up and puts the empty mug near the hot plate. He thinks the conversation is over so he turns to leave. He’s almost through the threshold when he feels Lalo grab the back of his shirt and pull him sharply backward.

“What the fuck?” Nacho can’t help the words that fall out of his mouth.

Suddenly gone is Lalo’s jovial demeanor. “Do not speak to me that way, and do not leave without permission. We will walk to dinner together.” His face has turned to stone.

Fuck, he really wants them to act like a couple.

Nacho is again surprised by the buzzer and announcement over the intercom that signals dinner. He decides to ask Lalo for a watch later, when he’s not so scared of him.

Lalo motions for him to step into the hall, and follows behind him. It appears, Nacho is no longer a ghost in the halls. All the inmates and even the guards are looking at them walking together. A few guys clap Lalo on the back, congratulating him. Nacho grows deeply uncomfortable. He hates how social prison is. Why is everything everyone’s fucking business? It’s like at parties where everyone would watch to see who went into rooms alone together and gossip about it.

When he gets to the cafeteria he doesn’t know where to go. Lalo grabs his shoulder and guides him to a table close to the dinner line. He pushes him into a seat. “Sit,” he orders. Lalo and Viktor head to the front of the line. Nacho assumes he wants him to wait. He can play the part for a week, or however long it will be until Lalo gets bored and releases him.

A few minutes later Lalo returns with two trays. One for him and one for Nacho. Is this chivalry? Nacho thinks to himself. Feels more like control. He thinks back to his relationships with women. His high school girlfriend always wanted him to play the role of a hyper-masculine boyfriend. Hold open doors, buy everything, make a big deal out of Valentine’s Day, always be the one to initiate sex, act jealous, etc. If he’s being honest with himself, he didn’t love it. He’s always been interested in a more equal relationship, where each person takes turns being in charge and both show love and affection equally. It also sucked because his girlfriend’s family was much richer than his and he had to work all the time just to keep her happy. It feels strange to be on the other side of the equation.

Lalo doesn’t really talk to him during dinner, which he’s fine with. He spends the time just listening to Lalo shoot the shit with Viktor and Nestor and Lucas. Huell stops by to whisper something in Lalo’s ear. They’re all sitting quite close to each other, all the inmates packed into a few long tables. At first, when Lalo’s leg brushed up against his he figured it was just an accident, but he realizes that Lalo’s doing it on purpose—pressing his leg against him for stretches of time.

Nacho refuses to acknowledge the invasion, but sitting this close to him is a bit overwhelming. He hates to admit it, but Nacho likes the way that he smells. Like spices and maybe leather? It again reminds Nacho of his dad, of the shop. The parallels are making him start to feel queasy. He eats to drown out his scent. Lalo turns to Nacho and asks if he wants a second plate. He says no and Lalo gets up to get himself more. Nacho is left with Lalo’s guys. They kind of gawk at him for a second and then resume their conversation.

Fine, he doesn’t want to be friends with them anyway. They talk and joke about other inmates, and then some about cartel business outside. He recognizes some of the names being thrown around.

Lalo returns with his plate and maneuvers himself back into his seat, using Nacho’s shoulder to brace himself. He seems to be a tactile guy. He doesn’t just touch Nacho. He uses his hands vigorously when he talks and often grabs the person he’s talking with for effect. Everyone seems to be comfortable with it. Whoever he is talking to always looks animated, like Lalo is a performer they’re paying to watch. Nacho and Lalo could not be more different personality-wise. Lalo seems incapable of shutting the fuck up whereas shutting the fuck up is Nacho’s favorite activity. Lalo is expressive and reactive and Nacho doesn’t like others to know what he’s thinking. Lalo seems to like to “collect” people and keep them in his orbit while Nacho maintains a tight circle of trusted confidants and has little desire to make new friends.

He thinks that could be favorable. Lalo will be dissatisfied with him and find some other kid to torment. But he also thinks it’s kind of like his parents. He takes after his dad, who is quiet and hardworking and warms up to people slowly. His mom was the opposite. She was warm, friendly, and constantly making new friends. His dad used to call her el sol. From what Nacho could tell they really seemed to love and respect each other, and took care of each other as equals. He’s always thought her to be the ideal woman; the one he compares all others to. He feels a deep pit in his stomach. Why is he feeling sad about his mom all of a sudden? Maybe he’s just feeling vulnerable.

Lalo turns to him again. “Nachito, why the long face?” He feigns a smile. Lalo doesn’t seem convinced.

“Come on, we have to celebrate Nacho’s arrival. Drinks in my room after dinner,”he announces to the group.

- - - - -

It turns out that a prison party is essentially the same as any other. They all crowd into Lalo’s room and drink cheap alcohol and talk shit. Lalo puts the radio on and hands him a cup filled with a gross smelling liquid. “Toilet wine. Drink it, it’s fine,” he says.

He sees everyone else taking small sips. He emulates, it’s definitely nasty but all alcohol is kind of gross. He tells himself not to drink too much. He has no idea what the alcohol content is and doesn’t want to end up accidentally drunk in Lalo’s cell, or make a fool of himself.

The conversation is essentially the same as it was at dinner. Some other guys in Lalo’s orbit stop by for a drink, coming in and leaving. Lalo is having a good time. Nacho can tell he enjoys providing for others and hosting. Huell comes in and sits near Nacho. As the alcohol starts to ease his tension he opens up a bit more. He and Huell chat and he learns more about him. He’s surprised to hear that Huell’s serving time for fraud. Huell pretends to be mad that Nacho assumed he couldn’t be a white collar criminal. “I’m just joking, I did other worse stuff, this is just what they could convict me of,” Huell says. Nacho actually laughs. Lalo is trying to be nonchalant but Nacho knows he’s watching him closely, and thinks he can see Lalo smile when he sees them getting along.

He starts to wonder if Lalo has a roommate. He wouldn’t be surprised if he managed to get a room to himself. He catches himself having a good time and hates that it feels good to be in his orbit. For the past few hours, he’s almost forgotten he’s in prison.

The 15 minute warning goes off for lights out. Nacho can’t believe how quickly the time went. He’s definitely buzzed and very tired. He’ll sleep well tonight. He doesn’t know the protocol for leaving Lalo’s cell and doesn’t want to be embarrassed again. He finds Lalo’s eyes and looks at Huell. Lalo understands his intent and nods. He gets up and leaves. On their way back he passes by Nestor and Lucas’s cell. He’s surprised to see Lucas giving Nestor a blow job, Nestor’s hand raking through his shaggy brown hair, especially since everyone can see. Nestor looks up and sees that inmates are filing through the hallways and pulls the covers over them. I guess that’s some form of privacy.

Once they’re home, he brushes his teeth and settles into the top bunk. He falls asleep instantly.

Chapter Text

Nacho opens his eyes. He slept through the night without waking once. Rare for him.

His body feels like it’s made of sand. Huell stirs below. “Are you hungover too?” He asks, voice strained.

“No, I’m fine, just a little dehydrated.”

“Young liver,” Huell laments. “I miss it.”

He thinks back on the night. He actually had fun. Not something he expected from prison. He sits upright. He feels an enormous mental load has been lifted from him. Lalo isn’t going to force himself on him and he’s safe, at least for the time being. He formulates a plan in his head. He needs to convince Lalo’s crew or a crew that he’s useful and that they should take him in before Lalo realizes that he isn’t going to have sex with him. 

He thinks that maybe be should string Lalo along, give him little bits of affection to make their “courtship” or dating period or whatever longer so he has more time. Yeah, that’s a good idea. He can handle that. He just needs to play the game well.

He gets out of bed and looks at himself in the mirror. He needs to shave, and a shower.

Jacobs comes to pick Huell up for kitchen duty.

I can do this, he thinks, like a mantra.

- - - - -

When Nacho arrives at breakfast Lalo has saved him a seat. He fits in, like the last puzzle piece that completes the picture. 

“Buenos días Nacho, did you sleep well?” He asks. He seems subdued, apparently not a morning person.

“Yeah, I did, thanks.”

Lalo gets up to grab food for the both of them. Apparently this is an everyday thing. He returns with the trays. Freezer burnt waffles and runny eggs. 

Breakfast is uneventful. Everyone seems hungover and doesn’t want to talk.

When the rec buzzer goes off they file out. Nacho doesn’t know what to do with his time. He wants to work out but he doesn’t want to have to ask Lalo. He settles for sitting where Lalo sits, at a table nearest the court.

A few guys start playing three on three. Nacho is sitting behind Lalo whose stretched out like a cat sunning itself, legs spread wide. He’s a man who likes to take up room. He calls back to Nacho, “you play basketball Nachito?” 

This is the first question he’s ever asked him about this life.

“Yeah, uh not on a team but in pick up games.”

Lalo turns around, grinning ear to ear. “You wanna play?”

Nacho feels compelled to make him happy. Tiny morsels.

Lalo gets on the court and kicks two of the guys off. He puts he and Nacho on opposing teams and Nacho soon finds out why.

Lalo plays a very physical game, and of course offers to cover him. Lalo uses his size to an advantage, blocking all of his shots and flagrantly fouling him. Anytime he has the ball Lalo seems to find a way to cover him from behind, so his back is blanketing him. Nacho starts to get annoyed and kicks it up a notch, sweating the alcohol out of his system.

Lalo may be bigger but he's clearly played more basketball. He’s a better shot and ball handler. He learns Lalo’s moves and starts fading away from his blocks and juking his defense to land twos and threes. Nacho’s team starts to win, and Lalo seems annoyed.

He wonders if anyone has been brave enough to actually beat Lalo at anything in his life. Cushy cartel kid, he thinks. He forgets that he’s not supposed to challenge Lalo in public, his competitive nature kicking in.

Lalo starts to play with an edge too. The game has essentially devolved into one on one and they’re drawing a crowd of onlookers by how intensely they play. 

Lalo goes for a shot essentially on top of him, and as he falls to the ground, he slides down his back. Nacho feels the distinct pressure of an erection. Is he really hard right now? Nacho shoots him a look.

Lalo winks back at him, amused. What doesn’t make this man horny?

He gets the ball and sinks a three. His team wins. When the realization dawns on him that he just beat Lalo Salamanca at a game of basketball, his face betrays his internal horror. Lalo comes over to shake Nacho’s teammates’ hands. He grabs his and pulls him in close. “You’re fine, good game,” he whispers in Nacho’s ear. He feels immediate relief. 

Lalo starts to walk away and calls back to him. “Now let’s see if you’re as good at chess as you are at basketball.”

- - - - 

Lalo destroys Nacho three out of three games. To be fair, he just learned the rules but still, Lalo is very good at chess. During their games he learns that Lalo holds two advanced degrees. 

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, from UCLA and the University of Mexico,” he responds. Nacho looks at him in disbelief. An educated, gay narco. Who would have thought?

“What, just because I’m in the cartel business I can’t be smart? What does that mean about you Nachito?” He teases.

“Nothing, I’m smart. Not book smart but smart.”

”Smart is smart,” he says in return, looking deeply into his eyes. He seems to do that when he wants to make a point.

”I also speak three languages and learning a fourth, isn’t that impressive?” Lalo adds, cheeky grin on his face.

Nacho does think that’s impressive but he doesn’t want to stroke his ego.

”What languages?”

”English and Spanish of course, and French. I’m learning German.” 

“Oh yeah?” Nacho asks, in disbelief, “say something in German then.”

”Ich möchte deinen Arsch lecken.” Lalo responds, smiling mischievously.

Nacho’s eyes narrow. That sounded a lot like “ass” and “lick.” He doesn’t ask for a translation. 

The end of rec buzzer goes off. He remembers that he wanted to ask for a watch.

As they get up he touches his arm, “oh hey Lalo, I wanted to ask you for something.”

Lalo stares at where their skin meets. Nacho lets go, not intending for the moment to be as intimate as it's become.

“For a uh, a watch.”

He smiles. “Of course Nacho, I can get you a watch." Nacho thinks to himself how easy that was.

Lalo clearly sees a chance to capitalize on the tender moment. “Let’s hit the showers when we get in. You smell.”

- - - -

Nacho does not want to shower with Lalo.  He tries to make excuses but he doesn’t budge. He’ll shower with him or not at all. Nacho really does want to shower. He typically does everyday and he’s sweat so much since he first arrived. Fine. He bends to his will.

He walks into the shower room in flip flops provided by the prison and a towel from Lalo’s room. Lalo walks up and down the shower stalls shooing people away. He doesn’t know if he’s doing it to make him feel more comfortable or because he’s uncomfortable with anyone else seeing Nacho naked. 

He finds a place to take his clothes off and lay his towel but hesitates. Lalo senses this and turns away, taking his own clothes off. 

It’s now or never. Nacho disrobes and shuffles to the shower head, quickly turning it on. Lalo carefully approaches the shower head next to him like he’s trying not to spook a feral cat he’s trying to trap. 

He tries his hardest to not look below Lalo’s chest area. He can see that he has a good amount of scars. A couple of bullet holes, a burn on his shoulder and some clean cuts around his mid section. He also notices that he has a lot of chest hair, way more than Nacho.

He can’t help but take note of his body. He’s got a broad pronounced chest, strong legs, and a big muscular ass. Nacho’s not sure he could take him in a fight.

If Nacho is trying hard not to look at Lalo’s body, Lalo is not trying at all. He is respectfully, but directly, ogling him. His chest, back, legs, and ass. Nacho turns so that his dick isn’t within view.

“Hmmm . . . so shy,” he hums.

Nacho frowns.

”What, I never said I wouldn’t look,” he says, clearly pleased with himself.

He curses him under his breath.

Lalo offers to wash Nacho’s back but he refuses. That would be a large morsel. A bite even.

They finish showering and towel off. Lalo has exercised an incredible amount of restraint so far, he thinks.

Afterwards they nap in Lalo’s cell, Nacho on the top bunk and Lalo on the bottom. He finds it weirdly intimate. There aren’t many people he’s done that with in his adult life.

They wake up for the lunch call. He and Lalo walk to the cafeteria together. Nacho sees Brian walking out. He looks in much better shape than yesterday, and he says hi when he passes by him. 

Lalo looks back at Brian warily. “You friends with him?”

”Yeah, kinda. I don’t know. We’ve had a friendly conversation.” 

“Well don’t be too friendly," he says, sternly.

He doesn’t understand this jealousy. He’s never wanted to have sex with a man before and he values his life. He has a feeling that even after Lalo releases him he won’t want to hear that he's sexually active with anyone else.

”Ok," he says. It doesn’t matter anyway.

- - - - -

They settle on watching a movie after lunch. Some made for tv movie Nacho’s never heard of. Apparently Sundays are for being lazy even in prison.

Lalo pulls two chairs close together. Great, it’s like they’re on a date, he laments.

He sits down next to Lalo. Lalo grabs the back of Nacho’s chair at the bottom. This is going to be a long movie.

An hour in and Lalo’s arm has slowly crept up to the top of his chair. His arm is practically on top of his shoulders. Nacho is bent forward in the chair so they don’t touch. But he soon grows tired of the position. “Tiny morsels” he thinks, repeating his new catchphrase in his head.

He leans back into Lalo’s arm. He can see out of the corner of his eye that he's smiling. He knows that he’s purposefully putting on a public display of ownership that will keep him from unwanted advances. But still, he can tell he’s really enjoying it, and that annoys him.

Despite this, he dozes off for the last 20 minutes. He’s never been good at staying awake during movies. Lalo gently shakes him awake when it’s over. This is all starting to feel very domestic. 

He asks Lalo if he can hang out in his room before dinner. He needs a break--some alone time. “Sure, let’s go,” he says. Nacho groans.

They get to the third floor and Lalo follows him into his room. He pretends to look at something in his locker. Lalo takes a seat on Huell’s bunk.

“You need to hang some pictures in here, it’s so bare," he comments.

”I know.” 

”Whose pictures would you hang up?” Lalo asks, attempting to keep his tone nonchalant.

Is he really trying to ask him if he has a girlfriend on the outside?

”Uh my dad, probably. Maybe my friend Domingo. And maybe my mom.”

Lalo seems relieved. “Are your parents separated?” He asks, genuinely curious.

“No, uh, my mom died when I was 13.”

Lalo turns his whole body toward him.

“Oh Nachito, that must have been horrible. I am so sorry," he says. It was.

”It’s fine, it was a long time ago," he responds reflexively.

”No it’s not. I can tell it still pains you. I miss my mother everyday. And my father.” Nacho is surprised to hear that both his parents are dead.

Sensing the next question, Lalo volunteers more information. “I wasn’t as young as you when it happened. I was in college. Plane crash.” Nacho wonders how natural the cause of the crash was given the family business.

”I’m sorry.”

The air hangs heavy between them.

”Whef, too much sad talk," Lalo interjects, suddenly energetic. “Wanna get high before dinner?”

- - - - -

They smoke a small blunt Lalo has in his pocket and light it with a loose match. They have to stand on Huell’s footlocker to blow the smoke out of the cell window.

Nacho and Lalo take turns taking hits. He's only been in prison for 48 hours and met Lalo 24 hours ago but feels like they’re . . . friends? Acquaintances? He’s not sure, but he knows that as much as he wants to, he doesn’t hate him.

But when he thinks about the situation that he put him in; imposing himself on him like this, anger starts to rise in his chest. He takes another hit. Lalo is looking out the window, disassociating. 

He studies his profile. Nacho can’t tell if he's a villain or a hero. Maybe neither.

- - - -

They both spend dinner on another planet. Lalo eats two plates of food and Nacho almost three. 

After dinner he follows Lalo to his room in a daze, forgetting the inherent danger of being alone with him in his room after 6pm.

Lalo flops on his bed after turning the radio on. Nacho takes the chair. Lalo begins to hum to the bachata and his eyes begin to droop. 

When he opens them again he has no idea how much time has passed. He hears Lalo faintly calling his name, over and over. 

"Nacho, Nacho, Nacho..."

The bed feels so far away from the chair. He pushes himself up and hovers over him. “What,” he asks.

”Nacho come lay with me," he says, with his eyes still closed.

Nacho would love to lay down but the bed is too small. He settles on laying half on and half off the bed with his back against his pillow. 

Moments pass. Lalo’s hand finds Nacho’s thigh. 

He suddenly sobers up. He shoots out of the bed and gets as far away from Lalo as he can, with his back against the cell door.

Lalo is on top of him in a second, holding his head in both hands and soothing him like a spooked horse. “Shh shh I’m sorry I’m sorry," he repeats, over and over.

He slaps his hands away. “You said you wouldn’t touch me.” He wants to hurt him.

“I know, I’m sorry” he says. “It was just the weed.”

Nacho’s blood is boiling. The injustice of the situation has finally hit him.

”Why did you do this to me? Why did you claim me? Why couldn’t you have left me alone to fend for myself? I have no chance now. You fucked me Lalo. You fucked me.”

He would cry if he could. He hasn’t since his mom’s funeral.

”Nacho, I said I was sorry.” Lalo’s tone conveys that he's on thin ice.

But he's not done.

“No. Tell me, tell me why you did it. Why me. Why not Brian or whoever the fuck? How am I supposed to show my face to Tuco after he knows what you did? That you fucked me?"

Lalo’s eyes blaze. He moves quickly, boxing him in with both arms and pressing him into the cell wall. 

“With your head held high, Nachito. Because you’re special. You’re special to me and that means something. It’s a gift in fact. You could have me wrapped around your finger, at your beck and call, your own boss, and you want to throw it away? Why? Because of pride? Be realistic Nacho. This is how the world works. You can get far, or you can get very far with me. Your choice.”

Nacho’s skin is growing hot.

”I’ll see you tomorrow, Nachito.” 

Lalo sends him to his cell.

Chapter Text

When the lights turn on at 5:30 am Nacho's eyes are already open. He had a restless night.

He can't fuck Lalo. He just can't. But what he said—the way he said it—made it sound so . . . right. It's insane that he's been given access to the man that holds his life in his hands, the one who could fast track him or put a bullet in his head with a snap of his fingers. It would take him years—decades even, to even be in the same room as Lalo if neither of them were in prison, if they hadn't met under these conditions. Would he have even looked at him twice on the outside, if he was just some kid from Albuquerque who ran a small crew of three guys?

If he was a woman this would be easy. He would fuck him. He would use it to his advantage. He knows that.

Then again, if he was a woman, he wouldn't be in this business, at least not directly. 

Making him happy makes sense. He would get released in two years and Lalo would still be in prison. A clean break. He could deny any rumor that might swirl around, make a point to date lots of women, get married, have kids or whatever. And Lalo will have moved on 30 times over by the time he's released. He won't give a shit about him anymore. And by that point, he’ll be made with all the right people. Lalo won't even matter. 

What is he thinking. He can't do this. He doesn't even like men. And Lalo. He's too much. Too overwhelming, too big, too dominant. It would be like being in a relationship with a black hole. No way.

He catches himself sitting in bed thinking when he hears Jacobs' footsteps coming down the hall.

"Shit." He scrambles out of bed. 

"Distracted?" Huell asks, rhetorically. 

His feet hit the cement right as Jacobs walks over.

"Just a bit."

- - - - - - 

He steps into the cafeteria. He's nervous that Lalo will still be mad. Will he even want him to sit next to him, or will he banish him back to the rejects? 

He turns to the food line and decides to delay the awkward conversation by getting his own food. He's almost halfway to the front when the guy behind him taps his shoulder. Suddenly he’s on high alert. He turns, and a medium-height Black guy with a long, well-kept beard stares back at him.

"Hi, I'm Ibrahim."

"Uh, Nacho."

"Hi Nacho. You can call me Abe." 

He turns back around. 

"I heard you got a shift in the library." Abe says, undeterred.

He doesn't know what this guy wants from him. No one has been friendly to him in prison aside from Huell without ulterior motives.

"I—I just wanted to ask you a favor. A book-related favor. I'm not trying to make you my girlfriend, or whatever these animals call it these days."

This is the first time anyone has acknowledged how insane this whole place is. He's intrigued.

"What do you need?" He asks, still without turning around.

"I need more books. We're only allowed to have one book checked out at a time but I need more than one to use as references, for my book."

"Your book?" He’s surprised, again.

"Yeah," Abe says. "I'm writing a book." 

He finally turns around. "What's the book about?"

Abe smiles, big teeth and incisors showing. "Aliens."

"Oh . . . not the answer I was expecting." He responds. "I'm not sure what I can do but if you drop by today I can see if you can." He thinks that Abe is weird but probably harmless.

"Thank you! You're a life saver." He extends his hand, waiting for Nacho to slap it. 

He doesn't move.

"Oh, sorry. I don't want to get you in trouble. My bad. See you later Nacho." He turns to leave, without getting any food. 

Nacho scoffs, wondering what someone like that did to end up in prison.

When he’s finished grabbing his plate, he turns toward their table for the first time since he stepped into the cafeteria. Lalo is staring daggers at him, eyes practically popping out of his head.

Fuck.

He approaches the table slowly. Lalo is tracking his every movement. 

"Lalo he just—"

"Don't." He smiles tightly at him. "We'll talk about this later."

They spend the rest of breakfast in silence while the rest of the crew chats quietly.

When they get outside Lalo grabs him by the shoulders with an iron grip and announces loudly to everyone that they're going on a walk around the perimeter together. They all give a knowing nod, like they've taken that stroll before and know it's not fun.

When they're out of earshot Lalo releases him.

"What did I tell you?" He asks, with a kick of anger.

"Not to fuck anyone." Nacho says, feeling upset that he physically dragged him over there.

"Don't play with me. I said to always stick with one of us unless you're in your cell. The only exceptions are granted by me." 

"What is that rule even for?" He asks. "No one is going to hurt me when I'm alone—the retribution will be the same." 

"You're still vulnerable, even if everyone knows you're mine. None of my crew travels alone. It's basic survival."

"Yeah well Abe seems harmless. I think I'm fine if I'm in the same room as you and you can see me.”

"I'll be the judge of when you'll be fine; and Abe, huh? He has a name?" Lalo mocks. 

"Oh Jesus Christ Lalo I knew what this was about. You're just jealous. You really should talk to someone about that. Not everyone is trying to fuck me. And I would still have to choose to have sex with them too." He knows he went too far as soon as the words are out of his mouth.

Lalo stops walking and turns toward him, clearly about to make a point.

"I meant what I said last night. If you think this arrangement isn't serious you're mistaken, little Nacho. I plan to win you. To make you beg for me. To make you scream. I'll fill up your every thought and fulfill your every desire. You are mine. No one else will know you as well as I know you. That I can promise you. So if I'm jealous let me be jealous. It's when I stop that you should be worried."

His stomach stirs, like when you step too close to a railing and suddenly remember the possibility of falling to your death.

Lalo continues walking. "Come on,” he orders. Nacho follows.

- - - - - -

When they return to the group he asks Lalo if he can workout, and suggests Nestor or Lucas go with him. He agrees.

He’s excited to finally lift weights. Outside he would go to the gym five to six days each week. He would lift for an hour and a half to two hours on most days. He promised himself that he would leave prison just as or in even better shape than when he came in. Nestor grabs some free weights while he hits a bench. Everyone else moves out of their way as they move around the makeshift equipment. Nacho squats and does push ups, and works on his biceps. At some point he breaks a sweat and decides to take his shirt off, so he can extend its life since he hasn't figured out how to get his laundry done yet. 

Lalo unsurprisingly finds his way over shortly after. When he sees him approach he rolls his eyes.

"Eh, spot me?" Lalo asks.

He sighs. He puts down his weights and heads over to the bench where Lalo has set up for a bench press.

"How much do you weigh?"

"Uh I don't know, 175?" Nacho responds. Weird question but he’s learned to just roll with Lalo's antics at this point.

He proceeds to put weight on the bar until it weighs roughly 175. He cannot be serious.

Lalo sets himself under the bar. "Come on."

“Cave man,” he thinks to himself, as he puts his hands on the bar to spot him.

He easily benches Nacho's weight and completes three sets of three. His forehead is sweating after.

"Pretty good for an old man, eh?"

"Yeah sure." He relents. And then he gets an idea.

"How much do you weigh?"

"220,” he says, proudly.

Nacho adds weight until the bar is 225.

Lalo scoffs. He doesn't think Nacho can do it.

He proceeds to bench Lalo's weight ten times. 

Lalo frowns.

"Alright you proved your point,” he says, begrudgingly.

He is very pleased with himself, chest humming for the rest of rec time.

Lalo spends the rest of rec time watching him finish his workout. Apparently that's entertainment for him. 

He doesn't care. He's never had this much time to workout before and is genuinely excited to make a routine for himself and track his progress.

When rec is over Lalo, Nacho, Nestor, Viktor, and Lucas head back inside. Lalo suddenly breaks from the group in haste and heads to his cell, yelling at him to stay with Viktor until he returns. 

Lucas laughs. "Damn Nacho you're really doing a number on Lalo. He's been cranking it all the time since you got here." He flinches.

Nestor chimes in. "Yeah, Nacho, you need to hurry up and consummate his marriage soon or he won't have any foreskin left." 

He’s disgusted, but also genuinely shocked that he has so much sexual influence over him. Is Lalo always like this with the guys he likes? He wonders.

They all head to Viktor's cell to hang out until their work shifts start. Nestor works in the laundry. Lucas works in the commissary, and Viktor has a very privileged position in the administrative office. He even has access to keys.

"How did you swing that?" Nacho asks. 

"Lalo. Of course." Viktor says, with a raised eyebrow.

Nacho wonders if Lalo could just walk out of prison if he really wanted to.

He finally returns to the group looking infinitely more relaxed than before. Nacho has a hard time meeting his eyes.

Thankfully the buzzer goes off indicating that work shifts have started. Before he can get up from his seat Lalo blocks his exit route.

"I'll come see you today, Nachito. Before your shift is over." Lalo's voice is low, like a late-night radio host. It doe something to Nacho’s stomach that he misreads as dread.

Great.

- - - - - - 

Nacho is stacking books on shelves when Abe pops his head in. "Hey Nacho."

Oh shit.

"Hey Abe. What do you need,” he says, curtly. He's cognizant that Lalo could walk in at any moment and draw conclusions.

Abe looks confused, like he's trying to remember if he dreamed their conversation earlier.

"I wanted to see if I could check out three books instead of one, like we talked about?" He intones the last part.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay,” he says, heading to find Gretchen. She's asleep sitting up at her desk. Nacho thinks that it's cute, honestly, when old people do that.

"Gretchen,” he says, gently.

She startles awake. 

"Oh Ignacio! I'm so sorry. Please wake me up when I do that. If my daughter knew that I fell asleep in a prison she would kill me!" She exclaims, half joking.

"Yeah yeah okay I will," he says with a smile.

He clears his throat. "My friend here, Abe, he's writing a book and wants to see if he can check out more than one book at a time. Can he do that?"

Gretchen looks at Abe with an overly-emphasized frown. 

"Oh Abe I'm sorry, I'm afraid not. That's a strict BOP policy."

Abe sighs. "Okay, I understand. Thanks anyway Nacho." Nacho frowns. It seems like a reasonable request.

Abe turns away and starts to head out the door but he jogs to catch up to him. He and Abe walk over to where Gretchen can't see them.

"Just go."

Abe walks out with three books under his shirt.

- - - - - -

He’s organizing books on the shelf later when he sees a large shadow cast in his direction.

Lalo.

"Hola Nachito." The voice is back.

"Lalo,” Nacho responds, curtly, going back to organizing.

"Ooh okay. Someone takes their job seriously. I'll just be over here."

He makes a big show of sitting at a desk, and cracks open a book that looks like its not from the library. Part of his private collection.

They don't talk for a while, but Lalo looks up every few pages to see what he’s doing. Gretchen falls back asleep. The other two inmates are out doing book return, where they walk around with carts and collect books from inmates' cells.

Before Nacho can realize they have no audience he finds himself crowded into a corner. Lalo is standing close, too close, pretending to grab a book above his head. When he tries to maneuver under Lalo's arm and out of the corner he blocks his escape with his outstretched arm, his hand resting on a book at eye level. 

"Hm, Moby Dick," he says. "Maybe I should read that again."

"What do you want, Lalo," Nacho says, annoyed, not wanting to entertain his twisted flirtation.

"What do I want?" Lalo asks, emphasizing the I. "I want to give you something." He holds out his hand, showing him a gold watch with an auburn leather strap. It's simple, but timeless, and old.

"For me?"

"Yeah, for you." Lalo says, amused.

"Thanks,” he responds, looking Lalo in the eye.

"It was my father's,” Lalo says, as he watches him put it on. "It's brought me luck in the past, and I think it fits you. You and he were a lot alike." 

"Oh?” Nacho asks, suddenly feeling the intimacy of the moment. 

"Yeah. Stoic, humble. Hardworking. Everything I wanted to be but couldn't,” he says, sincerely.

Nacho can't help but feel pride. He seems to genuinely respect him? Or he's just a good actor.

"Thanks, Lalo. I like it."

He isn't lying.

- - - - - 

He and Lalo walk from the library to lunch together. Lalo heads into the kitchen and leaves him sitting at a table alone eating his lunch.

After he finishes his first sandwich, Lalo still isn't back. He's not sure if he should wait so that he and Lalo can eat together. He seems to be insistent that eating is a social activity that should never be done alone. 

Five more minutes pass and he's confused. He’s never left him alone for this long before. He gets up, and finds Huell by the serving trays. "Hey, have you seen Lalo?"

“Yeah, he went to the freezers a while ago. I haven't seen him since. Do you want to go look?" Huell asks, innocently. 

"Uh yeah, sure, why not."

Nacho isn't sure what the protocol is when Lalo disappears and wonders if he's supposed to find him like a homing pigeon. 

He turns the corner into the part of the kitchen that can't be seen from the cafeteria and stops dead in his tracks.

Lalo is standing upright with his eyes closed, leaning backward onto a large metal table. Someone with dark black hair is on his knees giving him a blow job. 

"What the fuck?" Nacho says. He can't believe his eyes. 

Lalo's eyes shoot open. The guy, who looks like he's in his late 20s or early 30s, takes his dick out of his mouth and turns around, still holding it in his hand.

"Nacho, this is Kevin. Kevin, Nacho." Lalo says, like he's introducing two people at a party.

Nacho cannot believe how nonchalant he’s being. Wasn't this whole thing about exclusivity, and commitment? He suddenly realizes that the commitment Lalo wanted was one-way.  

His fight or flight reflex kicks in and he turns to leave without saying a word.

He hears Lalo tell Kevin thanks, and zip up his pants. 

Nacho can hear him trailing behind him. 

He feels angry but doesn't know why. He's not jealous—no. That's ridiculous. It's because this whole arrangement was imposed on him, and he thought he knew the terms, but apparently he doesn't. And because someone might see Lalo fucking someone else and jump to conclusions. Conclusions that could lead to his assault. 

Why the fuck did Lalo even give him a watch? What the fuck was all that talk about yesterday, and this morning? He feels deceived. Lalo is a liar. He's a liar and he only wants one thing all the time. His thoughts are spinning around and around, with no end in sight.

Lalo finally catches up with him at their table. 

"Hey, Nacho. I didn't plan that, really. He was just a guy I used to fuck before you, and I ran into him,” he says, as if that makes it better.

"Ok," he says, deciding to teach him a lesson by refusing him access to his thoughts. One thing he’s very good at is the silent treatment. 

"Ok?" Lalo asks, doubtful.

"Yeah, it's fine. I don't care. If he does it, I don't have to,” he says. He feels like punishing him. 

Lalo feigns a dagger to the heart. "Ouch, Nacho, are you sure you're okay? You seem upset." 

He turns to leave. He's over this conversation.

Lalo grabs him by the arm. 

"This will probably keep happening until you let me have you, Nacho,” he says, honesty in his eyes.

"I know," Nacho says, meeting his eyes, not realizing he’s one of the few people in this world capable of doing so without fear.

He turns and heads out of the cafeteria with Huell as he's leaving. Lalo doesn't stop him. 

- - - - - - 

He doesn't see Lalo until dinner, when Lucas picks him up from his cell to take him to the cafeteria. 

He's grateful that he’s given him space to think, but honestly he's only grown more confused since lunch.

As they walk down the halls, Lucas clears his throat.

"If it makes you feel better, Nestor and I had a hard time in the beginning too." 

He doesn't know what that means.

Lucas registers his confusion.

"Nestor and I are, together. Like you and Lalo,” Lucas says. He watches him closely, for the first time, and thinks he might be the only Latino surfer dude he’s ever met, with his light, shaggy brown hair and California twang. He belongs on a beach, not in prison. Not in landlocked New Mexico. 

He didn't know. I mean he knew that Lucas gave him a blow job once but he didn't inquire about the extent of their relationship. He figured everyone knew but just didn't talk about it. 

"What um, what happened?" He feels like Lucas is expecting him to have questions.

"He was here before me, and when I came in he . . . registered his interest in me." Lucas is looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping.

"Wait, he like claimed you too?" He’s confused. Everyone treats Lucas like an equal. He never would have thought he came into the crew that way.

"Yeah. That's how it started. But I quickly convinced Nestor that I wasn't just some guy he can keep in his cell all day and fuck whenever he wants." Lucas says. "After that, our relationship improved. Now we're more like partners. Partners who fuck." He laughs at his own joke.

Huh. Nacho is genuinely dumbstruck. He needs to pick his brain more.

"How did you do it, how did you convince him?" They're almost to the cafeteria and he needs to know.

"I pulled a stunt. Like a big one. Showed everyone that I had balls,” he says, proudly. 

He can't ask a follow-up because they're practically at the table. He needs to know more. He'll find Lucas later.

Lalo is sitting down already. He's the one who seems nervous for once.

Nacho sits next to him. Lalo looks relieved, like he was scared that he wasn't going to come back.

Lalo presses his leg into Nacho and Nacho stares back. They're fine.

- - - - -

After dinner, the crew splits up. Lucas and Nestor head to their cell and Viktor heads to the phone room to call his wife. Lalo and Nacho are left alone. He tells Nacho that he has to make a "house call" and Nacho asks if he can come along. Lalo is surprised. He usually takes any opportunity to spend time alone. But he sees this as an opportunity to learn how the sausage is made, plan his big stunt or whatever to get Lalo to bring him in. Lalo agrees and they head to the second floor. 

As they're walking down the hall Nacho hears the distinct sound of a hand slapping a face. He rubber necks to his right and sees Anders and Brian in a cell, with Anders crowding Brian into a bunk bed and Brian holding his face. He can't hear what they're saying but it looks like Anders is yelling at him. Brian looks scared shitless. Anders says something to Brian and he starts crying. He can see Brian start to take off his shirt. 

"Oh shit,” Nacho says. He catches Lalo looking too. 

"Come on Nacho, nothing to see,” he says, gesturing for him to follow.

"Lalo he's going to rape him. Should we do something?" He asks, upset, confused that no one is reacting the same way.

"No. It's personal. Anders made his claim. It's unfortunate for Brian but he isn't the first and he won't be the last,” he says, impatient.

"That's so fucked." He's mad. The guards don't care and no one is going to intervene? Brian doesn't deserve this. He's in prison for smuggling, he's just a kid. He realizes he's projecting a little, but he doesn't care. He suddenly realizes that Lalo could stop this, if he wanted to.  

He turns to him. "You could do something. You know that, don't you?"

"Nacho not here." Lalo is quickly growing impatient.

"What, are you going to hit me like Anders?" He says, feeling reckless. 

Lalo moves quickly, getting as close to his ear as possible, putting his full bodyweight onto his side.

Oh fuck.

"No. I'm not going to hit you, unless you ask. Because I don't need to, do I, Nachito. Because you want to be a good boy, don't you."

There is blood rushing into his dick. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. He needs to get out of this situation, before Lalo notices and jumps to conclusions, conclusions he himself isn’t willing to accept just yet.

Lalo releases him. He doesn't notice that his dick is getting hard and Nacho is thinking of the vilest, most horrifying images he can to will it away.

"Let's go,” Lalo says. 

Nacho exhales.

Chapter Text

Nacho is running. He’s running as fast as he possibly can but he’s moving through molasses, his feet are made of lead and he’s sinking into quicksand. He’s in some sort of compound, and it’s hot and dry. He sees Lalo in the distance with a gun in his hand. It’s outstretched towards the back of someone’s head. Nacho can’t see who it is. A shot is fired. Nacho screams. The loop continues. He never saves him.

- - - - -

Nacho wakes up with a groan. He can’t escape Lalo even in his sleep. 

And he has morning wood. Great. 

Lalo was right. Its been over 36 hours and his bodily functions are starting to return to normal, including his sex drive.

How is he supposed to take care of himself with a roommate?

He has about ten minutes between when Huell gets picked up for cafeteria duty and when his cell doors open for breakfast. He could do it then.

He rises from his bed and takes a look at himself in the mirror. 

It was just a bodily reaction to the intensity of the situation, he thinks. He’s not attracted to Lalo. He’s not. 

And he doesn’t have daddy issues. No. Lalo calling him “boy” was weird and he didn’t like it. Nacho’s not a freak.

He thinks back on the rest of the night. Lalo’s “house call” turned out to be him visiting some old guy in his cell and talking about cartel business in Juarez. Nacho learns that Lalo’s boss is Don Eladio. During their conversation Lalo is clearly distracted. He kept looking at Nacho, trying to gauge if he went too far in the hallway. 

Lalo makes Nacho spend the rest of the night in his cell. He says they have to keep up the pretense of fucking, at least. 

When they get there, Lalo gives Nacho his space and they read alongside each other in silence. Lalo lends him a book, One Hundred Years of Solitude. He says it’s one of his favorites. Lalo explains what magical realism is. “It’s reality with a touch of magic, and the point is that you can’t tell what’s real or not.” He says. Nacho realizes that’s how he feels about Lalo.

Jacobs picks Huell up. Nacho turns back to the mirror. "Don't think about Lalo" he thinks, and grits his teeth.

He climbs back into his bunk and pulls the cover over himself. His cell is the second to last one at the end of the hallway but he doesn't want anyone to see so he's taking extra precautions. He grabs a sock.

He quickly gets himself hard again. He's thinking back to the last time he had sex before he reported. It was with a girl named Maria he knew from high school, a friends who sometimes have sex-type situation. Maria was cool. She and Nacho fixed up cars together, smoked, drank beer, and casually fucked. She didn't expect or even want anything from him. He honestly enjoyed just spending time with her more than the sex. 

He tries to conjure up an image of her body; of the way she took him in her mouth. Of her sitting on his face. He's getting close, but images of Lalo's hand on his neck; his infuriating laugh; the way he smells intrude on his fantasy. It's like Maria's in the background and Lalo's in the foreground and Lalo won't, fuck, he won't fucking move so Nacho can see her—FUCK. Nacho gives up in exasperation. 

He needs more than 10 minutes to get Lalo out of his system. 

The doors open. Nacho heads out.

- - - -

Nacho sees Brian and Anders at breakfast. Brian looks like he’s high, eyes glazed over and hovering in and out of consciousness. Nacho sighs. He doesn’t blame him for self-medicating. He was unlucky. Really unlucky. He wishes he could do something for him.

During rec, Nacho works out with Nestor again. While he’s doing pull-ups he notices that Lalo is talking to some young guys on one of the benches, telling them some crazy story and gesturing wildly. He has one of his legs propped up on the seat and he’s leaning over them. They seem at ease, enraptured even.

Nacho wonders if the guys just came in yesterday or if they’re one of Lalo's old fuck buddies. He keeps his eye on them. He hates how distracted he is, but he’s bothered by it. He realizes just how easy Lalo could replace him. Everyone seems to love him and want to be in his orbit.

Why did Lalo pick him then? The one person who wasn’t immediately willing to get on his knees?

Maybe Lalo wanted that. Maybe he wanted a challenge, Nacho thinks. 

Lalo is an enigma, and Nacho is a hapless scientist who can’t help but get sucked into the mystery.

Nacho gives up on his workout. Two can play at this game.

He walks over to Lalo and lays his hand on his shoulder to get his attention, and to lay his claim. The two guys—a blonde and Latino kid—stare at Nacho, resentment flickering across their faces. “Wanna play chess?” He asks Lalo, smiling.

Lalo smiles back. “Of course, Nachito, I would love that.”

- - - -

Nacho and Lalo shower again, this time with Nestor and Lucas in tow. He can't see them because they're on the other side of an L-shaped room but he can hear them. Lucas—at least he thinks its Lucas—is moaning and Nestor is whispering sweetly to him. "Baby"; "come for me"; "you're so hot, come on baby let me fuck you." Nacho feels like he's violating their privacy but Lalo seems unperturbed by it, like this is a regular event. 

Nacho can't help himself. He sneaks a look at Lalo's dick. It's not as big as Huell made it out to be, which is a relief. It's just an above-average dick; long, but with girth. Nacho realizes he's been staring too long and quickly looks up, afraid Lalo will catch him.

"Go on, take a better look." Lalo says. He did notice. Fuck.

"Nope, I'm fine. I wasn't looking." Nacho tries to cover.

"Sure, Nachito. You know you're not a good actor, or a liar. Has anyone ever told you that?" Lalo says, rinsing off the last of the soap on his body.

"Yeah well, I like to be honest." Nacho says, with intended subtext.

Lalo takes it as a challenge.

"Yeah, okay, well here's some honesty. If you asked me to suck your dick right now I would happily get on my knees and do it, swallow you whole, and probably make you cum in three minutes flat." Lalo says, without any hesitation, without any shame.

Nacho blacks out. No one has ever been this direct with him; this lewd. No one has ever desired him this badly or expressed it so openly. His eyes are closed and he's afraid to open them. Afraid to see how serious Lalo's facial expression is. 

Lalo chuckles. "See, bad actor." He says.

He doesn't wait for Nacho's response, and grabs his towel, heading back to his cell, leaving Nacho to collect himself.

- - - - -

Nacho finds Lalo and the crew together on the floor after changing. Some are heading to their work shifts. Nacho doesn't know what to do since the library isn't open. Apparently Lalo goes to a baking class on Tuesdays after rec. Nacho restrains a laugh.

"What?" Lalo says, with a shrug. "It's prison, what else am I going to do?" 

Nacho decides to join the writing class held on Tuesdays instead. It's run by some do-gooder from the local community college. He's just excited about being able to sit quietly in a room without being bothered.

Abe is there, of course. When Nacho steps in the library where the class is being held, Abe motions for him to sit next to him. Nacho's quest for silence continues.

"Hey Nacho! Didn't know you were coming to writing class. Welcome."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm mostly just here to get some peace and quiet, slack off, you know." He says.

"Yeah sure, well I'm glad you're here, anyway. No one will ever come to writing class with me."

Nacho spends the rest of the class doodling on his page. The teacher, Mr. Richards, is explaining the different types of writing, and says that he's going to have them write a personal statement and bring it to class next week. Nacho plans to turn in his doodles.

Lalo is dipping profiteroles in melted chocolate when he sees a familiar face walking through the cafeteria. 

"Ana!" He calls, abandoning his station and heading her way.

"Lalo!" She says back. "I knew I would find you here. I got released early." They embrace.

"Dios mio have I missed you." He says. "Come, let's go have some coffee."

- - - - 

They catch up like old friends, except they've only been separated for less than a week. Ana was supposed to be in segregation for at least another two days, but, as she explains to Lalo, Kim Wexler worked her magic.

"I swear Lalo, I’ll never be able to repay you for having your law firm assign her to my case. She really thinks we can set precedent and get me placed in the women's prison." Ana says, excitedly.

Lalo claps his hands. "Fantastic, I knew she would make it happen. You know she's one of their best." He says.

"Yeah, and she's so fucking hot. God. I need her to sit on my face. Today." She says. 

Lalo laughs. 

"I'm serious. The moment I get out of prison I'm calling her and asking her out. I don't give a shit about client-lawyer confidentiality or whatever." Ana says.

"She would be lucky." Lalo replies, genuinely.

"So, what's up with you?" She asks, still basking in the glow of Kim Wexler. 

"Oh nothing . . ." Lalo says slyly.

"Lalo . . . what did you do?" She says, instantly suspicious.

"Nothing! Nothing at all. Nothing big. I just . . . may have found someone to occupy my time." Lalo says, speeding up the last part.

"Oh really? And does he know this?" She says. Ana is well aware of Lalo's track record with men, both inside and outside of the prison. 

"Yes, he does. And he's coming around to the idea, slowly. It's been fun, actually. He's quite the challenge." Lalo grins.

"Lalo." Ana practically whines. "We've been over this. You have no sense of how much power you hold here. There is no consent when saying no means their life becomes hell."

"Yes yes yes, I know. You've only told me 15 times. I did it different this time. I gave him a choice." He says, trying to appease her.

"Does he stand a chance without you though? Did you even try letting him find his own way?" She interjects. Fuck. She's onto him.

Now it's Lalo's turn to sigh. "Fine." he says. "I'll fix it."

Ana sips her coffee. Her job here is done.

When class is over Nacho heads to lunch. He sees Lalo and crew at their normal table, except with a new addition.

As Nacho approaches he sees, a woman? Sitting next to Lalo, but with the inmate uniform on? Nacho is so confused. This is a men's prison, and a woman would be highly unsafe. As Nacho gets closer he confirms, yeah, definitely a woman.

Nacho takes a seat across from Lalo. He and this woman are in an in-depth conversation. She keeps making Lalo laugh. Lalo grabs her arm, shaking. Lalo really likes . . . whoever this is.

She notices Nacho sitting there, and turns, awkwardly. "Lalo, is this . . ." She says.

Lalo finally notices Nacho has arrived. "Oh yeah, Ana, yes. This is Nacho." He says.

She reaches her hand out to shake his hand.

Nacho tentatively shakes it. Her hands are soft.

"Pleased to meet you Nacho, my name is Ana. I'm Lalo's cellmate." She says. Nacho's head explodes. So Lalo does have a roommate, and she's a woman?

Lalo notices Nacho's confusion but waits for Ana to address it.

"I'm trans. Nacho. And the federal government hates trans people, so they put me in a men's prison because I wasn't born a woman. Does that clear things up for you?" She says, in a tone that communicates she's said it hundreds of times before.

"Yeah. I guess." He stammers. Man, he thought he had it hard. He couldn't imagine being, a woman? in a men's prison. Jesus.

"Well, he's quite the talker," Ana jokes, turning to Lalo.

Lalo and Ana return to their conversation. Ana is telling him some story about partying in her teens in New York City and Lalo is eating it up. Nacho notices that they're around the same age, late 30s to early 40s, and clearly have a lot in common. He's never seen someone capable of making Lalo actually listen, for a whole story, without interrupting.

Nacho doesn't know what to do so he grabs some food and returns to the table, quietly eating. 

Now Ana and Lalo are talking about what happened in the prison since she was put in segregation. Apparently Ana got into a fight with another inmate who was harassing her, and she got sent to segregation instead of them. She suddenly turns to Nacho, realizing that they haven't been including him in the conversation at all.

"Nacho, I don't know if Lalo told you this story but when he arrived at the prison two years ago the guards put him in my room as my cell mate because they thought he would kill me, or we would kill each other before the night was over." She pauses and looks at Lalo, who is listening intently. "But it turns out that Lalo here isn't a bigot." 

"Yeah, we became fast friends," Lalo finally interjects. "Ana is not my only trans friend. I spent a lot of time in clubs in my 20s, mostly doing drugs and having sex. It's a miracle I survived." 

Nacho is trying to keep an open mind because it seems like Lalo might punch him if he doesn't. 

"Yeah, and once he arrived my life changed. I was always in segregation before, like almost every day, because the harassment was so bad. But he put the word out that if anyone fucked with me, they would be fucking with him. But some guys are still stupid enough to try." She explains.

Nacho is surprised. Like really surprised. Lalo doing something for someone with nothing in return? Unheard of.

"Yeah, well Ana has a mean right hook. I'm really saving them from her." Lalo jokes. 

Ana and Lalo smile at each other. Nacho can tell that they hold a deep respect for one another. 

"Nacho. I heard you need to do your laundry. So do I. Wanna go together?" Ana asks.

Nacho doesn't think he should refuse, plus he's genuinely curious to know more about her.

- - - - -

They make their way to the laundry room. Inmates can send their laundry in the weekly pick-up to be washed in batches or do their laundry themselves if they wait for it.

Ana sets hers and Nacho's clothes into a washer and leans back onto the dryers. 

"So. You and Lalo?" Ana says, raising her eyebrows.

Nacho doesn't know if he can trust Ana. It seems like she and Lalo are confidants. 

"Yeah, uh, he uh claimed me, or whatever." He tries to say neutrally.

"You don't have to lie to me, Nacho. I'm the first person to be critical of Lalo's actions. I call him out all the time. In fact, when he told me what happened between you two while I was gone I smacked him." She says.

Nacho cannot believe that Lalo would let anyone do that.

"That's not why I wanted to talk to you, though." She says.

She's looking straight ahead at the clothes tumbling in the washer.

"I came here to tell you that Lalo isn't a monster." She says.

Nacho scoffs.

"I know. I know what he did to you. And its inexcusable, and I'm not saying that you should say yes. That's your choice. I'm just here to tell you that underneath all of Lalo's bullshit; his jealousy; his cheating . . . he's a good person."

"Yeah, real nice of Lalo to basically fuck up my life so bad that I have no choice but to let him suck my dick on the regular." He says sarcastically.

"Listen. He's a cartel don. He's never going to be a saint, but he treats the people that he cares about well, very well. And I know he cares about you."

"He just wants to fuck me." Nacho interrupts her.

"Yes, obviously, but he also cares, and prison sucks. Your life could be good with Lalo. Just think about it." She says, staring at him now.

Ana drops the subject, and spends the rest of the time asking Nacho questions about his life and getting to know him. Nacho feels comfortable around her, probably more comfortable around her than anyone in prison so far. He's happy she was released from segregation. And he also thinks she'll provide a nice buffer between him and Lalo. 

- - - - - 

When Ana and Nacho return to the floor with their clean and folded clothes they head up to the third floor together. 

Halfway up the second set of stairs the buzzer goes off, and a guard on the intercom announces a shakedown.

"Shit. Lalo didn't know." Ana says, under her breath.

Nacho pieces together that the guards tip him off before this happens so he can get rid of his contraband. 

"No one is allowed to move. Stay where you are!" The intercom voice practically screams.

Nacho gets an idea.

He slowly starts backing himself up the stairs, trying to stay close to the wall so he can't be seen from the floor below.

"Nacho stop" Ana hisses.

When he gets to the third floor he drops to his stomach and shimmies like a snake in the direction of Lalo's cell. So far no one has stopped him. Ten or so seconds later he makes his way inside. He can hear the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Shit. He doesn't have time. He quickly stands up in Lalo's cell and grabs the drugs hidden in Lalo's mattress. He empties them into the toilet and flushes. He grabs his toilet wine and empties that too. He hears a guard screaming not to flush anything. 

Just then Jacobs rushes in. 

"Varga. Get out of this cell." He says.

Nacho obliges.

- - - - - 

The guards search Lalo's cell and all they find is a contraband portable cd player and some gay porn mags. He's given a strike, but he's not sent to segregation. 

When the guards finish Lalo comes upstairs with a shit eating grin on his face. 

"Nachito, you magician. Ana told me what you did." He slaps Nacho on the back.

Nacho feels fucking great. He actually did something useful for once. And he hopes that it gets Lalo to see him as more than just a piece of ass.

As they head to dinner together, Lalo tells Nacho not to eat, and to meet him in the kitchen an hour after the cafeteria closes. 

At the table, Lalo tells the crew what Nacho did, embellishing his bravery. They're impressed, and tell Nacho that he's a badass.

Nacho is glowing.

- - - - - 

When Nacho arrives in the kitchen Lalo is bent over a table, cutting onions. He clears his throat to get Lalo's attention. 

Lalo spins around. "Hola Nacho! Welcome to cooking class." He says.

Is Lalo about to cook him dinner? Did Ana do this? He's suddenly suspicious. 

"We're making flautas" he says. 

Lalo has Nacho cutting chiles, and shredding chicken. Nacho's not even surprised that Lalo can get this food in prison.

They make small talk while they cook, mostly about Ana, and some about Lalo's past. Nacho learns that Lalo had a hard time coming out to Hector.

Nacho's met that guy; he couldn't imagine him being tolerant.

"Yeah, he still hopes I marry some woman and give him grandchildren." He says.

"That's a funny thought." Nacho agrees.

"What about you Nacho, do you want kids?" Lalo asks. He's being nicer to Nacho than normal, more attentive. 

Nacho honestly doesn't know.

"Maybe. Some day. I don't know. Will probably depend on who I end up with." He says. 

Lalo gets uncharacteristically quiet.

Nacho holds his breath.

"Listen, I asked you to dinner because I wanted to talk." Lalo says, prepping the tortillas. "I'm releasing you." 

"What?" Nacho replies. This is definitely Ana's doing, he thinks.

"I'm releasing you. You don't have to make a choice anymore, you can stay in my crew and we don't have to have sex." Lalo continues.

"Why?" Nacho asks, a little desperate. His mind projects an image of Lalo chatting with the young guys in the yard this morning.

"Ana made me see what I did was . . . wrong. I honestly lose my head when she's gone. She's my moral compass, you see. I'm sorry, I didn't give you a choice. You're no one's property. You're a badass motherfucker Ignacio Varga. And I need to learn to release things and let them come back to me." Lalo stops cooking and looks at Nacho's face.

This is what Nacho wanted, he thinks to himself. So why is his stomach dropping?

"I'll get your protection, still?" Nacho asks.

"Yes. You have my promise. You'll just be one of my crew, and I can find a job for you. We'll have to make it look natural, though. We'll need to pretend to be together in public until I can make it seem like I lost interest. Maybe pick up another fish." Lalo explains.

Nacho can't breathe.

"No." Nacho practically whispers, staring at the floor.

"What?" Lalo says, getting closer to Nacho. 

"I don't." Nacho says, slightly louder.

"You don't what?" Lalo looks confused.

Nacho can't say it.

Lalo asks again, "You don't want what?"

Nacho doesn't know what to do. He feels like Lalo is slipping from his grasp and he's just realized that he actually wants this. That all he needed to hear was that it was his choice. A real choice.

Nacho looks up, and into Lalo's eyes. Lalo is looking at him as if he's about to tell him which wire to cut and there's three seconds left to deactivate the bomb. 

A beat passes. 

Suddenly he's pressed up against the table with Lalo's body completely covering his, pushing him backward. Lalo has the back of Nacho's skull in his hands. His lips are almost touching Nacho's.

"Is this what you want?" Lalo asks, practically begging him to say yes.

There's a part of Nacho that's screaming yes, yes, oh god yes. And a smaller part that knows this is a horribly life-altering bad decision. 

"Yes." Nacho says.

Lalo surges forward. Nacho is practically consumed by Lalo as he kisses him within an inch of his life.

Nacho's never been this turned on by kissing alone. Lalo’s lips are soft and his tongue searching. His lip is tickled by Lalo's mustache but he doesn’t care.

A girlfriend of Nacho once told him that she always knew a guy would be good in bed by how he kissed. If he wasn't good, he wouldn't be attentive to the small details that make sex great. He's never forgotten that. Nacho knows now that Lalo will definitely be good in bed, really good. His kissing is both satisfying and leaves Nacho wanting more. He could kiss him for hours, he thinks.

Lalo's hands find Nacho's back. He grabs Nacho by the underside of his legs, lifting him up so that he's sitting on the table with Lalo between his legs. God Nacho is so turned on. No one has ever done that before. He instinctively pulls Lalo in closer with his thighs. 

Nacho is practically melting into Lalo’s arms. He’s enjoying just letting Lalo lead; no thoughts in his head, just the feel of Lalo's body on his and the taste of his lips. Nacho tentatively places his hands on Lalo’s back, unsure of what he wants to do, how far he wants to take this.

Nacho hears footsteps, and voices getting close. He instinctively pushes Lalo off him and jumps down from the table. He fixes his shirt. Huell and Kevin turn the corner. 

“Oh shit Lalo, sorry.” Huell says. “I didn’t get the memo.”

Nacho can’t take the embarrassment and bolts out of the kitchen. It’s like he’s been caught by his mom masturbating in his room for the first time.

Lalo kicks the leg of the table. "Fuck!" he screams. 

Chapter Text

Lalo follows Nacho out of the cafeteria, intent on getting what he wants, but can’t find him anywhere.

“Fucking Huell.” He says to himself.

Just then Anders passes him by.

“Trouble with your new fish? Seems like you picked wrong.” He says, smiling like a cat that got the cream and showing off his missing molars.

”Shut the fuck up Anders, you prick. Go back to the little terrarium where you belong.” Anders frowns.

Lalo’s happy with that insult. He imagines him looking up the word terrarium in the dictionary later and getting offended again. The thought fills him with joy.

He needs to find Nacho. He’s never held out this long to have sex with someone. They either can’t resist him or he moves on by now. He thinks his dick might explode and fall off if he doesn’t get some release, preferably inside of Nacho by tonight. 

It’s been over a week since he had sex. Kevin doesn’t count because he didn’t finish. Nacho was supposed to be his solution, not his problem.

Maybe he went to his cell?

Lalo turns to head up the stairs. Ana is there and grabs his arm as he ascends. 

“Lalo don’t. He needs space.” She says.

When did they become such fast friends? And conspiring against him already? He doesn’t like this development. Lalo secretly wishes Ana would go back to seg so he can finally get laid. He was so close.

With a long exaggerated sigh Lalo gives up.

”Fine. But I need the cell for a while. I’m worked up.”

Ana grimaces. She knows what he means.

- - - - -

Lalo’s a cowboy. A rough rider. He stops in a (random small western town description) for a drink and a bed.

He grabs provisions for his horse and notices something amiss in the general store. It’s being robbed by some outlaws. He pulls his pistol and shoots them both dead. The shopkeeper is so grateful, oh so grateful. “How will we ever repay you?”

“You’re a handsome man, you can have my pretty daughter’s hand in marriage,” she offers. Lalo shakes his head.

“What else?” he asks.

He’s thirsty for something. But it’s not water.

“You can stay with us for a while, for free, rest your head.” She says.

Lalo accepts. Maybe there’s a whorehouse in town (Lalo makes a mental note to use that as a fantasy for later).

He takes his horse into their stable for the night.

There’s a young stable boy spreading hay inside. He’s looks so young and beautiful, unmarred, innocent. Big brown eyes and plump lips. Muscular from the work. He blushes when Lalo approaches him, asking him what his name is. “Nacho” he says. 

Lalo returns to the store. “I’ll take the stable hand, miss.” he says. They accept.

He returns to the stable and takes Nacho in his arms. He’s pliant, but inexperienced. He lets Lalo undress him. He’s perfect underneath his clothes. Skinny chest and perky ass. Scant chest hair and a beautiful dick. Lalo takes him in his hand, quickly getting him hard. “So responsive” Lalo hums.

Nacho is moaning, moaning “señor please”; “please señor.” 

“Lalo” he says, “call me Lalo.”

Lalo picks him up and carries him onto a hay bale, laying him on a blanket. They kiss and Lalo unzips his pants. 

“Oh no, Lalo.” Nacho says, seeing the size of his member.

“Oh yes.” Lalo retorts.

”I’ve never done this before.” Lalo loves that he’s completely untouched.

”It’s ok, I’ll guide you.” Lalo says, sealing it with a kiss.

It’s Lalo’s fantasy so he speeds past the part where he loosens Nacho up.

“Oh Lalo please fuck me. Fuck me now” Nacho says, desperate and squirming underneath him.

“With pleasure.” Lalo grins.

Lalo takes him from behind, with Nacho standing up, holding onto a pole. Horses are braying in the background. The only light is from a couple of lanterns and the air is cool and crisp.

Nacho feels so good around his cock. So warm and tight. He’s completely naked but Lalo still has his shirt on, his pants around his ankles. “You take me so good baby, let papa take care of you amorcito, you’re going to ride with me now. You’ll ride me everyday.”

“Yes, yes, yes.” Nacho responds.

”You’re mine now.” Lalo says, with an edge. He speeds up his rhythm.

He’s getting close.

“Say it.” Lalo commands.

”I’m yours.” Nacho responds. 

“Say it again.” Lalo yells.

”I’m yours.” 

Lalo’s orgasm hits him like a tidal wave.

********

The next morning, Lalo heads to breakfast. He’s anxious to see Nacho. To make sure that he’s okay with what happened last night. To confirm he’s ready to take their relationship further. He knows Nacho wants him now. He felt his arousal. Nacho was definitely into it, right? He let Lalo kiss him and he kissed back. Lalo needs confirmation. Verbal and hopefully physical, soon. 

The last of the inmates stream into the cafeteria. It’s 6:40 am, way past when Nacho should have arrived. Where the fuck is he.

He shoots a look at Viktor, who shrugs. Lalo stares at him. Viktor sighs and gets up. Keeping track of Lalo’s “boys” is one of his most hated unofficial duties.

He shoots a mean look at Ana now.

“Lalo he’s probably fine. Maybe he went to the infirmary. Relax.” She says. 

Lalo is really starting to regret giving Nacho free will. Fuck Ana and her moral platitudes. There’s a reason Lalo is controlling.

His anxiety is kicking his thoughts up a notch.

What if something happened to Nacho? What if he decides to do something stupid and get himself sent to segregation? Fuck. Fuck, and fuck.

“Stay cool.” He says to himself. 

Breakfast is ending and Nacho still isn’t back. Viktor returns. “He’s in the infirmary.” He tells Lalo.

”He better be fucking sick.” Lalo says, to no one in particular.

- - - - -

Lalo spends rec time punishing his body. He does 100 pushups, 100 pull ups, and 100 crunches. He’s sweating profusely by the end. It’s the only way he knows how to deal with his anxiety and sexual frustration, aside from sex.  

If he was on the outside he might go for a long ride on his horse, or find someone to fuck. 

Nacho doesn’t show up during rec either. What if he really is sick? 

Lalo doesn’t want to be like this. He should be worried, not upset. Not angry. Nacho can . . . He can do what he wants. Lalo needs to trust him. Maybe he’ll calm down after they fuck. When Lalo knows Nacho really wants him. Wants this. 

Rec ends. Lalo’s plan worked; he’s now too tired to feel anxious. But he needs a shower.

- - - - -

Lalo’s head is leaning against the warm tile. He’s letting the water flow down his back. He’s alone, unfortunately. But he’s grateful for a quiet moment to collect himself. He needs to appear calm when he sees Nacho. He doesn’t want to spook him again. God, Nacho’s so jumpy. 

“Hey Lalo.” A voice says.

Lalo looks up. It’s that blonde kid from yesterday. One of the new inmates. Lalo can’t remember his name.

”Hey . . . guy.” He says.

The kid laughs. “It’s Jack.” He says.

”Hey Jack, sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Lalo thinks he knows where this conversation may be going. Under normal circumstances he would welcome it. A quick blow job or fuck in the showers would quickly cheer him up. But he can’t—not with Nacho. He thinks back to how Nacho reacted seeing him and Kevin.

But Jack is catching him at a horrible time. He’s so frustrated right now. Vulnerable even.

“Where’s Nacho?” Jack asks, trying to seem innocent.

Lalo grits his teeth. Is this a prank? What higher power is trying to test his resolve?

Jack is attractive enough, not really his type though. He usually doesn’t go for the all-American look. 

“He’s sick. Is there something I can help you with?” Lalo asks, trying to signal with his tone that he’s not interested.

“I came here to ask you the same. I heard through the grapevine that Nacho is giving you trouble. I don’t think that’s right. You should be taken care of. A man like you? Nacho is disrespecting you at this point.” Jack says.

He’s way out of line—and Lalo sees red. Suddenly Jack is pressed up against the tile with Lalo’s arm across his neck. He’s smiling. The fucker.

”Don’t talk about Nacho like you know what’s going on. I’m perfectly happy. Go fuck off and find someone else’s dick to suck.” Lalo releases him.

Jack laughs. “Okay Lalo. Well you know where to find me. Room 22.” He says, and turns to leave.

Goddamnit. Lalo wishes he hadn’t said the last part. His can feel his resolve dissipating slowly, like pieces of sand through an hourglass.

He needs to find Nacho.

When Nacho wakes he tries to prepare himself mentally for seeing Lalo. But he’s not ready. He’s really not ready.

He’s still so shaken up by how turned on he was last night; how it confirmed that he is in fact attracted to Lalo and even worse, he has feelings for him. Like he likes Lalo. His boss. A cartel don. A man.

He could blame his feelings on the fact that he’s stuck in prison and his life has become contained in four walls. Maybe it’s Stockholm syndrome. But it feels real. Very real. And that scares the shit out of him.

He’s never felt this way about anyone before. Reckless, willing to ruin his life to stand in Lalo’s light. He thought he was better than that. Better than those lovesick assholes who sing songs about lost lovers and doomed relationships.

Nacho calls down to Huell. “How do we get to sick call? I don’t feel good.” He asks.

Huell pretends to believe him. “Just tell Jacobs how you’re feeling when he gets here. They’ll take you to the infirmary.” He says.

- - - - 

Nacho arrives in the infirmary. It’s got horrible lighting and smells weird, like chemicals. An older nurse writes down his symptoms. Her brow turns into a knot. Fuck, Nacho may have made up the wrong combination. 

“Ok.” She says, and leads him to a bed to lay down. He feels like he’s back in elementary school and the school nurse is going to give him an Advil and an ice pack and send him back to recess. He needs to sell this so he can stay here until his library shift, at least. He tries to look sad and pale.

The infirmary has around six beds, with curtains that can be drawn to separate them from each other. He thinks maybe there are two other inmates in there, but he’s not sure because he can’t see them. There’s a male doctor, and a buff male nurse and the female nurse who took down his symptoms from before. A guard is sitting at a desk, reading the paper.

Nacho lays back and closes his eyes. He can’t nap but he can pretend to.

How long can he avoid Lalo before he shows up to collect? Nacho really left him hanging last night, and he has a feeling Lalo is not one to let his debts lie.

He tries to justify his feelings again, blame them on the setting, on his fear and loneliness. But he imagines meeting Lalo on the outside and knows he would be drawn to him even then. 

Nacho hears a familiar voice talking to the nurse, interrupting his perseverating thoughts. Brian?

He gets up from the bed, forgetting he’s supposed to pretend to be sick.

The nurse closes one of the curtains and Brian is revealed. He’s laying on the bed with a cast on his right arm. 

Nacho is instantly angry. “Anders.” Nacho says to himself, feeling distaste at even the thought of his name.

Brian sees him and looks embarrassed, like he planned on hiding from Nacho.

”Brian what happened?” Nacho asks.

”Nothing! I fell in the shower, that’s all.” He shoots a nervous look towards the nurses station.

”Okay, I get it. Just say yes or no. Were you in the shower with Anders at the time you fell?” Nacho asks, speaking in code.

Brian hesitates. “Yeah. Yeah I was.” He says. “Don’t tell anyone, please, he’ll kill me.” He quickly adds.

”Don’t worry. I won’t say anything.” Brian looks relieved.

”Are you okay? Like I know you’re not okay but are you okay?” Nacho asks.

Brians expression says no. Definitely not.

”I’m coping.” He says. “Anders is hard to deal with. He flys off the handle at the drop of a hat. I think he has a brain issue, or something. I’m trying everything I can to appease him.” Brian shoots a look around to see if anyone is listening. They’re not. He’s whispering now.

”He broke my wrist because he thought I talked back to him, but I didn’t; I didn’t say anything at all. I think he hears voices.” Brian says. 

Jesus. Anders is going to end up killing Brian. He can’t just look away and let that happen.

”Nacho why are you being so nice to me?” Brian suddenly asks. “No one is nice to me.”

Nacho honestly has been wondering the same thing. He feels protective of Brian, for some reason. Maybe he reminds him of Mingo.

”I don’t know. I think maybe it’s because we came in at the same time, and are around the same age. And things turned out so differently for us. Which was just luck. I think I feel bad or something.” Nacho says. He normally doesn’t share his thoughts like this.

”Well thanks. It’s nice.” Brian smiles at Nacho. Nacho smiles back.

”Hey did your commissary money come in yet? Mine did. I’m going to call my mom later.” Brian says.

Nacho completely forgot. His dad is probably so anxious to hear from him. He’ll have to check. He suddenly feels homesick, like really homesick. His stomach is churning. At least he doesn’t have to pretend to be sick anymore. 

Nacho lays back down. This is where he would probably cry, if he could.

- - - - 

The nurses give him and Brian breakfast. They send Brian back to his cell, which makes Nacho anxious. At least Anders will probably be on cleaning duty at this point. 

Nacho realizes that it’s past rec, and Lalo is most likely losing his mind. He wonders if he’ll be angry like before or give him more space now that he kind of released him. He’s not sure where their “arrangement” stands, what the terms are now. He knows he wants Lalo to be less controlling. Less jealous. And he wants freedom of movement.

He’s feeling braver than before. He tells the nurses he’s ready to be discharged. He’ll go to his library shift. He doesn’t want Gretchen to worry about him, plus it’s safe for him there. Lalo won’t be able to corner him, hopefully. Probably. 

Lalo heads back to his cell, restraining himself from walking into room 22 and letting Jack blow him. 

This is so unlike Lalo. Normally, even if he is with someone, he fucks around whenever he wants to. He frequently gets propositioned by young men who want something from him, or just want to say they’ve been with him. And he’s never been one to deprive himself of life’s pleasures. And yes, sometimes he also goes out looking for it.

He must really like Nacho. Or be a little scared of him. The stunt Nacho pulled and the amount of times he’s stood up to Lalo at this point make him think he’s capable of anything. Like cutting off Lalo’s dick if he found out he fucked someone else. Lalo shivers at the thought. 

He quickly gets himself off in his cell imagining his cock sliding into Nacho’s pert ass, which, he begrudgingly thinks, he has yet to actually see up close and properly interact with. God he’s desperate for Nacho’s ass. 

Once he finishes he has a clearer head. His judgment returns. Okay. He’s ready to see Nacho.

Nacho returns to the library. Gretchen greets him warmly and tells him that she needs him to do book return because John’s sciatica is acting up. John is sitting down at one of the tables and wiping down the books. Nacho makes a face thinking about why he would possibly need to do that. People are so fucking gross.

“Ok, sure.” He says.

He takes one of the carts and starts walking toward the cells on the first floor. 

Nacho notices that most of the older inmates are located on the first floor. Makes sense; most are infirm and have mobility issues. Nacho thinks about what it would be like to age in prison. He doesn’t like that idea at all. He’s not thought much about aging though. When you’re young it’s inconceivable, and if Nacho is going to be honest, he never thought he would make it past 30. Not in the cartel.

As he’s taking bets on how long it will take for Lalo to find him he comes across Abe in his cell.

”Oh hey Nacho!” He says. Nacho stops and heads in.

Abe hands Nacho two of his books. “Thanks again for that, I got so much writing done. I really appreciate you sticking your neck out for me. I’ve been trying to check those books out at the same time for months. You’re the best.” He says, with a kind smile.

”Yes, he certainly is.” A deep and nefarious voice says from outside the cell. Abe moves his body to see around Nacho.

Lalo’s leaning casually on a pole outside the threshold, as if he’s been there for more than a few moments.

Nacho feels his body tense up. This isn’t great timing. 

“Oh hey Lalo.” Abe says, for both of them. He’s trying to cover. “I was just thanking Nacho for letting me check out three books at a time, for my book.” He looks scared.

Lalo steps inside Abe’s cell. Nacho maintains his position, keeping his eyes locked on Abe.

Lalo takes the books from Nacho’s hands and gives them back to Abe, a little too forcefully.

”You might want to keep these for longer. Seeing as how you won’t be visiting the library anytime soon.” Lalo says, menace apparent in his voice and the words spoken.

”Uh, thanks. Okay Lalo.” He says, catching his meaning. Abe’s eyes quickly dance to Nacho’s face, which is made of stone. He looks back at Lalo quickly, not wanting to get caught silently communicating with Nacho.

The tension in the air is palpable.

Suddenly Lalo claps his hands, and puts a fake smile on his face. “Come on Nacho. Say goodbye to Abe. I’ll walk with you.” He says, and places his hand on Nacho’s back.

Nacho grabs the cart and turns around in Abe’s cell. He shoots Lalo a deadly look.

“Sick, huh?” Lalo says once they’re in the hallway.

Nacho’s blood is boiling with anger. Why does Lalo always get such a rise out of him? “You need to go back into Abe’s cell and tell him he can go to the library. He’s writing a book and he loves reading, you can’t take that away from him.” Nacho says, forcefully.

”Oh come on Nacho, he’s been talking about that stupid book for years. It’s not real.” Lalo spits back.

Nacho stops the cart and turns to Lalo. “It doesn’t matter! It’s important to him, and you can’t just fuck with his life just because he wants to be my friend.” His voice is raised and people turn to look at them.

Lalo immediately pushes Nacho into an empty cell. 

Nacho gets scared.

”What did I tell you about speaking to me in public? Huh? You think because you kissed me once you can talk shit now? Arrangement or no arrangement you can’t raise your voice to me like that. I would beat Viktor or Nestor for less than what you just did. Do you understand me? You don’t get special treatment.” Lalo’s finger is in Nacho’s chest and his face is close to Nacho’s.

Shit. Lalo’s right.

”I’m sorry.” Nacho manages to say. He doesn’t feel sorry. He hates that he has to put all of his justified feelings through a filter because Lalo has an image to maintain.

Lalo softens.

”I’ll talk to him.” He says. “But you’re driving me crazy, Nachito. I’m rubbing myself raw here and you keep disappearing on me. Breakfast, rec, and then you’re not even in the library? And I find you in someone else’s cell?” Lalo tuts. “It’s like you’re trying to make me jealous amorcito.” He says.

Amorcito. That’s a new one.

Nacho wants to clear the air with Lalo; maybe set some boundaries but this isn’t the right time, or the right place.

Lalo grabs Nacho’s shirt and tugs him closer.

“Come on, why don’t you give me some candy to make up for running away from me?” he says, lascivious intentions clear from his body language.

Nacho doesn’t need a translation to know what Lalo wants. God why did he have to be locked up with such a horny fucking bastard. This is going to be a problem.

“How romantic.” Nacho rolls his eyes. “I have to do my job. And this is a random cell. Do you really want our first time to be under these circumstances?” Nacho is trying logic with Lalo, and thinks that mentioning future sex will make him happy.

Lalo takes a full breath in and out, and releases Nacho. “No.” He says, but it looks like it pains him.

“Come on, I’ll let you follow me around for the rest of the afternoon.” The idea makes Lalo happy, and he turns to follow Nacho looking like a cat with a little mouse trapped in its jaws.

- - - - -

Lalo does indeed follow Nacho around the entire rest of his shift. At least twice he pretends to not notice when Nacho stops moving and “bumps” into Nacho’s backside.

After Nacho’s shift is over they walk to lunch together. Lalo keeps his arm on Nacho’s shoulder like he’s afraid Nacho will run away again.

While they eat Lalo looks anxious, like he’s counting every bite that Nacho takes before it’s reasonable for him to drag Nacho somewhere and ravish him. Nacho punishes him by eating slowly. 

Anders and the skin heads enter the cafeteria with Brian in tow.

Lalo tuts. “Such a shame.” He says, noticing his cast. Nestor chimes in. “Just like Scotty.” He says. They all nod.

”What happened to Scotty?” Nacho asks. 

“Nothing.” Lalo interrupts, and looks around to warn the others not to say anything else.

”Seriously?” Nacho says. He doesn’t want to be treated like the child of the group anymore. 

“Ana will tell me.” Nacho declares, and gets up to find her.

Lalo chucks his tray and follows suit.

”It will just upset you amorcito.” Lalo says, trailing behind Nacho.

”You’re not my dad.” Nacho says back.

Lalo grins.

Suddenly Nacho remembers that he wanted to check the commissary to see if he has an account yet.

”I’m going to the commissary.” He announces, diverting course. Lalo follows.

When he gets there he sees Lucas and Ana. Ana is at the desk talking to inmates trying to buy phone time and Lucas is in the back unloading inventory. 

Lalo meanders inside as Nacho waits to talk to Ana.

The inmate in front of him finally finishes.

”Hey Ana I wanted to check to see if my account is up yet.” He says.

”Hmm let me check . . . Yes, it looks like it was processed yesterday. Do you want to buy phone time?”

”Yes please.”

- - - - 

Nacho finally gets to the phone room. He first had to promise Lalo that he would come back; promise they would spend dinner and the rest of the night together, alone; and Lalo made Lucas go to the phone room with Nacho for good measure. 

He’ll work on that boundaries thing later.

It’s around 2:00, almost 3:00pm and he dials his dad’s shop. The phone rings only once.

”Nacho, mijo I was starting to worry.” His dad says.

”Woah how did you know it was me?” He asks.

”The operator asks if you want to pick up a call from the prison.” Manuel chuckles.

”Oh” he says. He didn’t know.

”Well how are you, how are you sleeping, how is the food, are you safe?” His dad is talking so fast.

”Fine, fine, bad, and yes.” He says.

”Oh wonderful. Wonderful.”

They talk for 10 or so more minutes, which is a longer phone conversation than he’s ever had with his dad when he’s in his shop. He’s usually so busy. Manuel makes him promise to call in two days time. They hang up. Nacho feels better, at least momentarily. He decides to call Domingo.

Domingo picks up on the second try.

“Nacho, is that you?” He answers.

”No mingo it’s your Uncle Abel.” He says.

”Oh shit man, how are you? How’s prison?”

Nacho gives him the same assurances he gave his dad. Mingo gives him some updates on the crew but they can’t get too detailed.

Nacho wants to confide in Domingo so badly; tell him everything but the lines aren’t secure and he doesn’t want to freak him out. He settles for a half truth.

”You won’t believe who Luco is.” He says. 

“Oh shit you found him?”

”Yeah, I’m, I’m in his crew. His name is Lalo. Lalo Salamanca. Ask around—I can’t say more. But we’ll talk soon.”

Nacho hangs up. It’s getting closer to dinner time.

Lucas gets off his phone calls. As they’re walking back Nacho remembers their conversation from earlier. “Hey what was that stunt you pulled to get Nestor to take you seriously?” He asks.

Lucas smiles. “Let’s just say there’s one less racist in the world because of me.”

Nacho assumes he killed one of the skinheads.

”Cool.” He says.

- - - - - 

Lalo and the crew are sitting in the cafeteria, waiting for dinner to start. Lucas takes a seat next to Nestor. Nestor puts his hand under Lucas’s shirt and pulls him closer, grabbing lightly at the back of his hair and pulling his head back slightly. Lucas grins. Nacho marvels at the sight—Nestor looks like a prototype of a gang member and Lucas, a college-aged stoner. If he saw them outside, he wouldn’t even think they could be friends. 

”You guys are sickening, you know that.” Ana says, as she sits down. Nacho takes his seat next to Lalo.

”You’re just jealous because you can’t get laid here.” Lucas says.

”That’s what you think.” Ana replies, with a wink.

”Oh who, Nurse bowl cut? With the dead tooth?” He says back. Clearly this is an ongoing spat between them.

”Fuck off.” Ana says, only half serious.

“Hey Ana what happened to Scotty?” Nacho interjects, losing patience with this inane conversation.

Before she can answer Lalo kicks her underneath the table.

”Ow!” She yells. “You know I always get the short stick whenever you fuckers have your little lover’s quarrels and I’m sick of it.”

She starts speaking in a mocking tone now.

”Oh Ana, Nacho won’t fuck me, my dick is gonna fall off.”

Nacho finds himself blushing.

”Oh Ana, Lucas has a hemorrhoid can you get me preparation H?”

Nestor and Lalo chime in to voice their disapproval now. “Alright Ana we get it. We love and appreciate you. Fuck whoever you want.” Lalo says.

Ana’s not satisfied. She turns to Nacho.

”Scotty was Brian before Brian was Brian.” She says.

”And you deserve to know the truth. Anders put him in a coma.” She says, matter of factly. 

“Shit.” Now Nacho’s really worried about Brian.

Lalo’s got his head down and his hands covering his face now.

”I know what you’re going to say Nacho but can we please talk about this later.” He says.

“Fine.” Nacho says.

The dinner buzzer goes off. They’ve reached a stalemate.

- - - - -

Lalo practically drags Nacho to his cell after dinner. He tried to convince Lalo to watch the movie with the rest of the inmates but Lalo doesn’t even entertain the idea. 

“I need you.” He says, eyes blazing with lust.

Nacho relents. He thinks Lalo would settle on fucking him publicly at this point, based on how desperate he is. 

Nacho has been strangely enjoying teasing Lalo. Seeing how worked up he gets just from being in his presence but not being able to properly touch him. Nacho stores the idea in his brain’s file cabinet for later.

As soon as Nacho steps into Lalo’s cell Lalo is pushing him against the cell wall, kissing his neck, and pressing his incredibly hard dick against Nacho’s. Lalo uses his knee to prop up Nacho’s thigh to get even more friction between them. Nacho is completely overwhelmed. It somehow feels like Lalo has six limbs instead of four. 

“Lalo we need to talk.” He says, between Lalo’s mouth on his lips and his neck. Lalo is trying to get Nacho to lift his arms so he can take his shirt off.

”No more talking amorcito. I’m done waiting.” He says, as if Nacho has no choice in the matter.

“I’m serious Lalo we need to talk about us, and about what we’re going to do about Brian.” He says.

Lalo manages to loosen Nacho’s pants and get his hands on Nacho’s ass. He’s kneading it like bread dough.

”Nachito please don’t tease me. I’ve been so good. So patient and I want you sooo bad. Do you need me to beg? I’ll beg.” Lalo gets on his knees now, and starts kissing Nacho’s stomach.

Nacho is fully hard now. He won’t be able to stop this runaway train soon.

Nacho tries to push him away but Lalo stands up and spins Nacho around, putting his full body weight on Nacho’s back. “Is this what you want, Nachito? Want me to take you like this?” He whispers into Nacho’s ear. Lalo grinds himself against Nacho’s backside.

“God you have the most amazing ass I’ve ever seen.” Lalo says. 

Nacho kicks backward, finally creating distance between them. 

Lalo’s mouth is agape and he tries to grab onto Nacho again.

”You have to stop when I say stop.” Nacho says, keeping his arm outstretched.

Lalo groans.

”I’m serious. You have to respect my boundaries. And you have to listen to me. I’m not ready yet. For that. . . To take you. Ok?” Nacho has a hard time even saying it.

Lalo looks disappointed.

“Ok. I’m sorry, I can slow things down. We can just explore tonight, get used to each other.” He says, slowly inching toward Nacho again.

”Wait.” Nacho says. “I want to talk about Brian.”

Lalo flops on his bed. “Brian Brian Brian. All he talks about is Brian.”

”Anders is going to kill him. He’s schizophrenic or something. He broke his wrist yesterday for no reason.” Nacho implores.

”Yes and horrible things happen to people everyday” he says.

“Lalo we have to do something. He’s my friend and I don’t want to watch him die.”

”Ok so do something about it.” Lalo says, with his back still on the bed.

”I can’t. At least not by myself.” Nacho responds. 

Lalo doesn’t say anything for a few seconds.

”Fine. I’ll think about it tomorrow. But first you have to come here.” Lalo is leaning back on his arms now, and has one outstretched towards Nacho. He’s smiling mischievously.

Nacho can’t resist. He’s only human.

Lalo pulls him on top of him. They spend the next 15 minutes kissing and groping each other. At some point Lalo pulls Nacho’s shirt up and pants down to his ankles.

He takes Nacho into his mouth. Nacho is so overstimulated that he grabs the bedsheets. He’s not going to last long. Lalo proceeds to give him possibly the best blow job he has ever received in his life. He doesn’t want to hate on the women he’s been with before, but holy shit.

To be fair Lalo has about a decade of sexual experience on anyone Nacho has had sex with, including him.

Lalo is sucking him deeply, and alternating between stroking the base of his dick and fondling his balls.

”Lalo I’m close.” He suddenly says. It’s been less than 5 minutes. 

Nacho tries to pull out but Lalo keeps him locked in place.

”Lalo.” He says again, warning him.

Lalo reaches up and sticks his thumb in Nacho’s mouth.

Nacho sees stars. He shoots deep into Lalo’s mouth.

Lalo chuckles below. “That was huge amorcito. You did so good.” He says. 

Nacho tries to catch his breath. His arm is covering his eyes and he’s sweaty all over. He has no idea if Lalo came.

”Jesus.” Nacho says.

Lalo flops down next to him. 

“Jesus is right.”

Chapter Text

It turns out Lalo did cum, all over Nacho’s thigh.

Nacho didn’t notice because he was too busy on his trip through the pleasure galaxy courtesy of one Lalo Salamanca.

Nacho checks his watch. It’s only 6:30 pm. 

He’s the first to try to rise, but Lalo stops him, putting his arm over his chest.

”Don’t leave.” He says.

“Are you always going to be clingy after sex?” Nacho asks.

”Always.” Lalo murmurs. He’s face down on the bed and his pants are halfway on. Nacho can see his ass peeking out from the top of his pants.

Nacho feels the cum drying on his leg. He should probably feel weird about it; this being his first time getting someone else's cum on him.

“Do you have a towel?” He asks.

Lalo finally rises. “Stay here.” He says, climbing over Nacho. Nacho closes his eyes.

He gets up and grabs a washcloth, making it wet in the sink.

Nacho suddenly feels himself being pulled by his ankles to the edge of Lalo’s bed. His pants and underwear are still dangling from one foot. Lalo is grinning above him, as he settles between Nacho’s legs and holds onto one at hip level, wiping the cum from Nacho’s thigh.

Nacho feels so exposed in this position. Lalo can see everything. Like everything. He quickly grows self conscious and tries to shimmy away.

”Don’t be shy now. You look so good here, underneath me.” Lalo continues to hold onto Nacho’s leg, keeping him in place. “I still have you for a few hours, don’t I?” He hums.

Nacho sighs heavily. "Yes, but we need to talk about what we're doing." He says, trying to pull his leg back. 

"I thought we already did."

Lalo puts his entire body weight on top of Nacho now, and pulls Nacho's legs up and onto his back.

Nacho's breath hitches. He forges on, despite his growing arousal. 

"I still don't think you understand boundaries." Nacho says. 

”Why would we need boundaries when you’re mine?” Lalo kisses Nacho’s neck, and face. Nacho is still naked from the waist down and Lalo is fully clothed, albeit his pants are loose and almost falling down.

”Am I?” Nacho asks, trying to find his bearing in this conversation and with Lalo in general.

Lalo pushes himself up on his elbows and looks at Nacho.

”And why would you be under the impression that you’re not?” Lalo’s face is tense. ”I claimed you, didn’t I?”

”Yeah but then you released me.” Nacho says. He thought that was clear.

Lalo resumes kissing Nacho’s neck. ”Mmm but then you kissed me, and said no.”

”Okay but I don’t want to be your property. I’m not your fish, or prison wife, or whatever.”

”Well then what are you Nachito? My boyfriend?” Lalo asks, but in a joking manner, like that would be a crazy idea.

Nacho pushes Lalo off him, finding the strength now. He pulls his pants back up.

”Why’s that funny?”

Lalo's smile fades. “Because I’m Lalo Salamanca. I don’t do boyfriends. I only have one type of relationship. I call the shots, you answer when I call, you go where I tell you, you do as I say.” He’s deadly serious. 

“Oh come on Lalo, you’ve never had a boyfriend? Even on the outside?” Nacho is incredulous.

”No, I haven’t.” Lalo answers, but looks away when he says it.

He’s such a fucking liar.

”Ok well I don’t want to be owned. I want an equal partnership, like Lucas and Nestor have.” Nacho replies.

Lalo is flat on his back again, and he’s rubbing his forehead in frustration. "I see, and did Lucas tell you that?"

"No." Nacho lies. 

"Nacho don't lie for no reason." He says. 

"Well what? What's so wrong with that?" He's starting to feel like Lalo is purposefully getting him off subject.

"There's nothing wrong with it. I just don't know how to do it; and I'm not sure Lucas and Nestor have as 'equal' of a relationship as Lucas thinks." Lalo says, using air quotes. 

"What does that mean?”

"I don't know . . . . Nestor is . . . not the type of guy to let that happen. You know I once saw him take a guy's eye out of his head with a spoon? I think he just says what Lucas wants so he can stick it in him." 

"Gross Lalo. Jesus." 

"I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong." Lalo admits.

"Well. Those are my terms. Take it or leave it." Nacho's got his arms crossed, trying to project confidence.

Lalo looks at Nacho, almost like he's proud of him. 

"I can try cariño. I can try. But I'm not going to be perfect. I have certain . . . ways about me; this you know. And I'm obliged to act a certain way, for my safety and yours."

"I know. I get that." Nacho understands how much reputation matters. He also doesn't fail to notice Lalo's habitual use of endearments. 

They both grow silent.

"Are we good?" Lalo finally asks.

Nacho's not sure. He basically only got Lalo to agree to try to be better. They haven't talked about boundaries; or Lalo's jealousy; or even monogamy. But Nacho's patience in extracting concessions from Lalo is running short. He settles back on the bed, and let's Lalo put his arm around his waist.

"Mmmm come here." Lalo pulls him into his body. Lalo has his back to the wall and Nacho is pressed up against his chest. 

This seems to calm Lalo down and they lay like this for a while, until Nacho has to get up to pee. Lalo seems to have fallen asleep.

Nacho flushes. Lalo doesn't stir.

He thinks he might be able to sneak out and back to his cell. 

"Don't even think about it." Lalo says, from the bed, before Nacho even gets halfway across the cell.

Nacho sighs.

**********

Nacho wakes, and finds that he doesn't instantly dread the day. He and Lalo had a normal night last night, for the first time. And Lalo did, indeed, take care of all his carnal needs, and even agreed to try to be less . . . domineering. Nacho thinks this could be a good arrangement.

He also has morning wood again.

When Huell leaves for his morning shift he takes himself in his hand. He doesn't try to avoid thinking about Lalo this time. He thinks back on how good it felt to be inside Lalo's mouth last night; how it felt to kiss Lalo two nights ago in the kitchen. He thinks about Lalo's hands, on his face, his back, his ass. He's fascinated by them. How big they are, how vascular. Even how they smell. Then the memory of Lalo leaning into his body and asking him—no telling him—that he wants to be a good boy pops into his brain. Fuck he got so hard at that. Like instantly hard. There's something about the way that Lalo talks to him in that deeper octave, when he's trying to get a rise out of Nacho, that instantly lights up the pleasure center in Nacho's brain. Nacho had no idea he liked any of this. He's never been particularly vocal in bed.

Nacho thinks about the way it felt to have Lalo press into his back; what he said.

"Is this what you want, Nachito? Want me to take you like this?"

And he explodes. 

Shit. Maybe he does want Lalo to fuck him. He wasn't sure before. He has no idea . . . what it would feel like or how to even prepare. But he feels weird; fuzzy, when he thinks about it. Nervous veering toward anticipation.

He gets up and wonders what antics Lalo will get him into today.

He meets Lalo in the breakfast line. "Thought I'd get my own breakfast this morning." Nacho says.

"Sure, Nacho." Lalo gestures for Nacho to step in front of him.

A few guys in the back yell "hey!" and Lalo shoots them a death glare. They shut up immediately when they see it's Lalo.

Nacho gets to the front of the line and Huell is there, serving oatmeal. 

"Nacho! Long time no see." He jokes.

"Funny." Nacho says.

Nacho heads to the table. Ana and Viktor are there, arguing about something. 

"I don't know Viktor." Ana says, throwing her hands up.

"There's almost $300 missing and you don't know?" Viktor says back.

"What's missing?" Lalo asks, sitting down with his tray.

"Nothing." Ana says before Viktor can jump in.

Lalo waits.

"Okay fine, there's some money missing. We just figured it out today. Someone must have changed our balance sheets. We don't know when it actually happened." Ana says.

"Okay, well figure it out. You have until lunch." Ana and Viktor nod.

Shit. Nacho remembers being off on a couple of counts in the beginning. He doesn't envy them. 

"Nacho what would you do in this situation?" Lalo asks.

Viktor looks pissed, like he doesn't like the idea of Nacho giving him orders.

"Uh . . . I would make sure it wasn't just a mistake; it usually is. And if not, I would look inside. It's usually one of your own guys whose skimming off the top." Nacho says. 

"Oooh very wise Nachito. I like your style." 

Viktor looks at Nacho like he's the boss's stupid son who will inherit the company one day.

Shit. Nacho might have just stepped in it.

"Hey, basketball later?" Nestor asks the group, interrupting the tense moment.

"Sure," Lalo says.

When the buzzer goes off for rec, they all get up, but Lalo motions for Nacho to hang back. When everyone else has turned their back, Lalo pulls an apple out of his pocket. He hands it to Nacho. 

"The first time I did this, I didn't know you. But now I do, and I wanted to do it again, formally."

Nacho should roll his eyes at Lalo's stupid attempt at a romantic gesture. But he secretly loves it; it makes him warm thinking that Lalo spent time coming up with ways to win Nacho over. Nacho takes it from Lalo’s outstretched hand. 

"If you think this is getting you laid tonight you're wrong. You still have to work for it." Nacho says back, barely suppressing his grin.

"Oh, I know. You always make me work amorcito." He grabs the back of Nacho's neck and pulls him closer. "But you'll be on your knees by sundown." He says.

Fuuuuuck. Nacho's legs get shaky. 

Lalo grins. He definitely knows that this works on Nacho. Nacho needs to inoculate himself; he can't walk around this vulnerable to Lalo's advances.

Lalo lets go of Nacho, and turns to leave.

Nacho can only follow.

- - - - -

Nestor and Lalo play basketball with some other guys. Nacho works out with Lucas, and Ana is off gossiping somewhere.

Lucas spots Nacho on the bench.

"So . . . how are things?" Lucas asks.

"We're not doing this." Nacho says back. He doesn't want to form a friendship with Lucas solely based on the fact that they're both young guys having sex with older, dominant men.

"Aw come on, don't be a prude. Just tell me this. Are you guys fucking yet?" Lucas asks.

"What do you think." Nacho wants this conversation to end as soon as possible.

"Have you ever had anal sex with a man before?" Lucas asks.

Nacho gets up from the bench. He does not want to discuss that with someone else, definitely not.

Lucas follows him. "Ok, I won't ask. But here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to tell you a bunch of random facts about bottoming that you may or may not know. You can just sit here and listen, and get passively educated, for the future you know. When you totally don't have to do that for the first time." 

Nacho hates this, but he lets Lucas talk at him for the next five minutes. He won't admit it but he actually does need to learn; he has no fucking idea what its like to "bottom"—a term he just learned—and he figures Lalo might be a shit teacher since he likely never does it. 

"Huh," he thinks while Lucas is talking. "So that's what douching is."

- - - - -

Nestor and Lalo return to the gym sweaty and tired. Nestor slides up next to Lucas and whispers something in his ear. Lucas laughs and whispers back.

Lalo eyes Nacho like a snake.

"Showers." Lalo says, grinning widely.

Nacho's stomach stirs. Showers.

- - - - -

Lalo seems to arrange it so that they're the only four in the shower room after rec.

Nestor and Lucas settle into their usual spot.

Lalo watches intently as Nacho takes off his clothes, like he's doing a strip tease.

Lalo quickly takes off his clothes.

Nacho can see that he's fully hard. Jesus, the showers must be some sort of aphrodisiac. 

Nacho walks to the shower head slowly, like if he moves too fast Lalo will lunge at him and bite and never let go.

Lalo grabs the shower head to Nacho's left. 

They look at each other as they rinse. Nacho starts washing his chest.

"Turn" Lalo says. 

Nacho turns so his back is facing Lalo. 

Lalo takes the soap and starts to wash Nacho's back. 

Nacho loves the way it feels.

Lalo soon crowds his back, and his dick slots between Nacho's ass cheeks. 

"Nacho won't you let me fuck you?" He asks, straight into Nacho's ear. The words make his blood feel electric.

Nacho can hear that Nestor and Lucas are moaning, and probably fucking by now.

Nacho turns around.

"Not yet—can we do other stuff?" Based on what Lucas said he needs more time to prepare, both physically and mentally.

"Sure, amorcito." Lalo grabs onto Nacho's ass and pulls him in closer. "What would you like?"

Nacho kisses him. He just wants Lalo to lead.

Lalo gets the picture and takes Nacho's hand and puts it on his dick. This is the first time Nacho has ever felt it like this. It feels bigger in his hand. He tries to imagine putting it up his ass and realizes why Lucas kept emphasizing stretching.

"Get me off." Lalo commands. 

Nacho would normally balk at such a command but it seems that within the confines of sex, he enjoys being told what to do. It frees him of having to make choices and self-doubt.

He starts to stroke Lalo, and Lalo moans immediately. Lalo reaches further down Nacho's ass with his middle finger. He's searching. The water is still flowing in front and behind them. Nacho keeps his lips on Lalo's, and tries to vary his strokes the way that he knows he likes. Lalo finds what he's looking for: Nacho's hole. Nacho hisses a little when Lalo touches it. 

Lalo chuckles. "Can I finger you?" he asks. 

Nacho nods up and down. Nacho momentarily forgets that he's supposed to be getting Lalo off as he takes in the new sensation of someone touching his asshole. It's so weird, but also very stimulating. Lalo pulls back, and slicks his finger up with some soap. He finds Nacho's hole again, and slowly slips the tip of his finger in. Nacho bucks his hips.

"Shit." 

"Relax, cariño, relax."

Lalo tries again. This time Nacho stays still. Lalo is able to get almost his whole finger in. Nacho wouldn't say that it feels good, but its at least tolerable. Lalo hooks his finger, and Nacho feels a tingle inside of his body that he has never felt before. Lalo persists, adjusting slightly left and right and the feeling grows stronger, much stronger. Shit shit shit this must be his prostate.

"Oh fuck." Nacho can't help the words that come out.

"Found it." Lalo says, satisfied with himself.

Lalo pulls his finger out, and puts his hand on Nacho's neck, pushing him backward. Nacho's back hits the tile. He still has Lalo's dick in his hand, and suddenly misses the feeling of Lalo's finger inside of him. That was over way too soon. 

Lalo clearly wants to be selfish.

Nacho is so hard; Lalo manhandling him by his neck made his eyes cross inside of his head.

He focuses on stroking Lalo, and can feel Lalo starting to lose control. Lalo's head lands on Nacho's shoulder.

"Oh amorcito I'm so close. You're so good at this. I can't wait to fuck you. Fuck that tight ass. All mine. You're all mine." He keeps repeating the last line. 

"Yes." Nacho says, wanting to spur Lalo to orgasm.

"Say it." Lalo says. 

"Say what?"

"Say you're mine." Lalo is so close, like right on the edge.

Nacho really wants him to cum.

"I'm yours." He says, telling himself that it's just for the purpose of getting Lalo off.

Lalo spills all over Nacho's stomach.

He pants as he looks at what he's done. Lalo takes his dick in his hand and rubs the cum into Nacho's skin. 

Nacho looks at him with a mixture of confusion and appall. 

"Mmmm. Yes, mine." Lalo says again. 

Is he really marking him up with his cum? Jesus. Nacho's brain is telling him to run, but his dick—his dick is saying fuck yes let this man mark you up.

Lalo smiles at Nacho, and pulls him in close.

"I don't want you to cum until later. I want you to think about me all day. I want you waiting in my cell after dinner."

Nacho is so uncomfortably hard, but that sounds so hot.

Nacho nods, even though he knows its against his best interest.

"Good boy." Lalo says.

Fireworks go off in Nacho's brain.

- - - - -

After showering Lalo heads to baking class and Nacho to writing class.

Abe is there, but looks less enthusiastic than usual to see Nacho when he enters the room.

Nacho sits down.

"Hey Abe." he says.

"Hey Nacho."

Only one greeting? Something is definitely off.

"Are you okay?" Nacho asks.

"Yes. I am. I just, uh, don't really know how to act around you now."

Nacho's annoyed. Clearly Lalo didn't talk to Abe. 

"It's fine. He said he would talk to you. Sorry about that—Lalo can be . . . territorial." 

"I know. I just figured it would be like Carlos, but he seems more territorial over you."

Nacho's face turns quizzical.

"Oh shit, did you not know about Carlos?" Abe looks scared again. "Jesus Christ Lalo is going to kill me." 

No matter how hard he tries Abe won't give Nacho any information about "Carlos." He's "pleading the fifth," he says.

From context Nacho can figure out that Carlos may have been Lalo's fish. Nacho wonders if he's still in prison, and how long ago they were together.

He needs to find someone willing to talk.

- - - - -

Nacho heads to lunch, intent on finding Ana or Lucas and cornering one of them, but when he arrives he sees Lalo, Ana, and Viktor having an intense conversation in the corner.

He sits down next to Lucas. "What's up?" He asks, looking at Lalo.

"They think the Aryans had something to do with this. That they're making moves against us." He says.

"What does that mean?" Nacho asks.

"The Aryans were essentially in control before Lalo came, and they resent him. They've always been the hardest to get in line. Once in a while they'll try something and we'll have to strike back." Lucas explains.

Well that's not good.

Nacho turns his head toward the door to the courtyard, where the Aryans sit everyday. A few of them are sitting together, acting normally, Nacho thinks. Not like they're plotting anything. He spots Brian. Anders is talking to one of his guys and has his hand on Brian's thigh. Brian seems calm, despite the circumstances. Anders turns toward Brian and whispers something in his ear. He thinks he sees Brian frown momentarily. They both get up and leave the cafeteria, and head up the stairs.

He thinks about his situation with Lalo, how everything transpired, the fact that he can leave whenever he wants to, and feels guilty again. Survivor’s guilt.

Lalo returns to the table, and puts his arm around Nacho. 

Nacho's dick reacts. Jesus Christ. Now he's no better than Lalo, getting turned on from the smallest things. He's anxious for time to pass so Lalo can make him cum.

"Nachito I need a favor." He says.

- - - - - 

Lalo tells him to get any information he can from Brian. Says that Anders might be saying things around him that could be useful. Nacho doesn't like the idea of spying on Brian; and he doesn't want Anders to think Brian is feeding him information. But Lalo doesn't care, and Nacho wants to show Lalo that they're relationship can be two-dimensional. They can have sex and work together.

He plans on just checking on Brian's welfare and reporting to Lalo that he knows nothing.

He hangs at a table downstairs, where he can see when Brian leaves Anders' cell.

Around 20 minutes pass before Brian emerges. As he walks down the stairs Nacho comes from behind. He intercepts Brian at the exact right time, pretending to walk upstairs.

"Oh hey Brian, how are you?"

"Oh hey Nacho. What's up."

"Nothing much, did you end up talking to your mom?" He asks.

"Yeah, I did. It was really nice. What about you?"

"Yeah. I talked to my dad, and my friend Mingo."

"Oh cool." Brian says, and looks like he's about to leave.

"Hey, Brian. Do you want to, uh, hang out?" Nacho asks. Why does this feel like he's asking Brian out on a date.

"Uh, sure. Nacho. Let me just talk to Anders." He says, and heads back upstairs.

Another 10 minutes pass. Brian comes back down. He looks pissed.

"Anders said we can only hang for an hour, and it has to be in my cell. He's also sending his goons." 

"That's fine." Nacho says. "I'll bring the toilet wine."

- - - - -

Nacho tries to make it seem natural that he wants to drink toilet wine with Brian in the middle of the day. I mean it's prison, and they don't have real jobs, so whatever.

Brian grimaces as he sips it.

"This shit is so gross." He says.

"Yeah, I know. But it's effective." Nacho says.

Two of the Aryans that hang around Anders are standing outside Brian's cell, talking shit to each other and not really listening. Nacho doesn't think they could hear their conversation if they tried.

"Hey, how's your wrist?" He asks.

Brian looks down. "Oh it hurts like a bitch. The nurses never give me enough Advil. But the cast should come off in three weeks." He says.

"Is Anders . . . still . . ." Nacho asks, while looking up to see if Brian's guards have moved.

"Not since. But I think I'm learning his patterns." He says.

"Oh?" Nacho asks, hoping this isn't useful information.

"Yeah, whenever he gets back from his cleaning shift he's the most volatile. So I make sure I'm in my cell then and he comes and finds me and I take the edge off for him." Brian says, nonchalantly, as if he's not talking about sexually pleasing a racist gang leader with a mean streak.

"Brian I'm going to get you out of this. I promise." Nacho says. He can't stand how accustomed Brian has gotten. 

"I appreciate it Nacho, but I'm not hopeful. Anders keeps talking about flipping this place, and I don't think at that point Lalo could even save me." 

Shit. He did it, he got confirmation that the Aryans are planning something. Nacho is conflicted about telling Lalo. He's sure Anders didn't tell Brian that on purpose. 

"Brian don't say that to anyone else, and pretend you don't know, ok?" He says, using a serious tone.

"Oh, okay. shit." Brian says, suddenly looking nervous. 

- - - - -

When Nacho heads to dinner his buzz is wearing off. He can't believe he succeeded despite not even wanting to. Well, at least Lalo will be happy.

Nacho whispers what Brian told him into Lalo's ear. He looks pissed at the news, but grabs the back of Nacho's neck and shakes him a bit, looking proud and pleased with Nacho.

Nacho feels himself grow warm inside.

- - - - -

After dinner Nacho does what Lalo says and heads to his cell. Lalo stayed back to talk to Huell and some of his other kitchen guys, probably about the Aryans.

Nacho settles on Lalo's bed. He's practically buzzing at this point; drunk on lust.

He sees a shadow outside of the cell. Someone is standing there.

"Lalo?" He calls out.

No one answers.

"Nestor?" He calls. Lalo had Nestor walk Nacho back to his cell; Nacho was pissed but Lalo told him that now isn't the time to get complacent.

Nestor doesn't answer either. Nacho gets up from the bed and steps outside.

Suddenly he feels a sharp pain to his left temple. He loses vision and hits the ground, but doesn't pass out. He feels himself being dragged backwards by two white guys. They pull him into a cell across the hall from Lalo's, he's not sure which.

Nacho is fighting them now, but one of the guys has his legs and the other is maintaining his hold under his arms. 

They throw him onto the bunk bed and yell at him to stay there. One of them has a small knife, a blunt one from the kitchen. It looks like it could still be deadly.

"What the fuck are you doing? Lalo is going to fucking kill you." Nacho spits.

"Why do you think we took you." They say. 

Shit. They're going to use him as a bargaining chip. In normal circumstances, if they weren't fucking, Lalo would just let them cut off his fingers. He's not sure what Lalo would be willing to concede to get him back in one piece. 

Anders enters the room. "Little Salamanca. Nice to see you." Nacho's skin crawls. He remembers how Anders treated him when he first arrived.

"I'm curious. I've heard that Lalo cares about you, more than Carlos, but I don't believe it. But Devon here is convinced that he does, says that Lalo has been letting you run all over him since you arrived."

"This isn't going to work, let me go before he lights you all on fire." Nacho warns. Anders scoffs, ignoring what Nacho said.

"And what is this about you trying to spy on me through Brian? You're not a player here. You're just a tight piece of ass." Nacho is now worried about Brian and enraged.

"Fuck you Anders." He says. 

Anders slaps Nacho, hard. Nacho winces, but doesn't fall.

Nacho grins. "Is that it?"

Chapter Text

Lalo is watching Huell weigh bags of weed in the freezers when Lucas flings the door open.

"Something's happened." He says, his face sweaty and pale.

He and Lalo walk quickly through the floor, trying not to attract the attention of the guards. They start sprinting when they hit the stairs; inmates peek their heads out from their cells as they whiz by.

Lucas leads them to his cell. Nestor is laying on the bottom bunk, holding a bloody towel to his forehead. He looks dazed, and like he's in a good deal of pain.

"Where is Nacho?" Lalo's blood pressure is dangerously high.

"I don't know. I dropped him at your cell and left—“

"Why did you leave?" Lalo's voice is booming.

"I left for 30 seconds, to get something from my cell, and when I tried to step foot back into the hallway I got hit. I don't know how long I was out. But I woke up and checked your cell, and Nacho's cell, and he wasn't there. I didn't want to walk around with my head bleeding and alert the guards."

Lalo turns to Lucas now. "Find Viktor and search." Lalo is trying to remain calm but this is starting to sound like a coordinated hit, and like Nacho was the target.

Lalo gets on his knees to assess Nestor's head. He probably has a concussion, and will need stiches. But he'll be fine.

"Did you see anyone lurking around, before you went out?" He asks.

"No . . . but I'm having trouble remembering what happened."

"Stay here." He says, and steps into the hallway. He looks across the atrium and doesn't see anything immediately suspicious. Downstairs he can see Viktor and Lucas begin their search. 

Ana comes rushing up the stairs. 

"What's happening?" She asks, almost out of breath.

"I don't know. They hit Nestor and Nacho's missing."

"Aryans?"

"Probably." Lalo is still looking around, surveying the hallways for any sign of Nacho.

Lalo catches movement in the corner of his eye. He thinks he sees multiple people inside of a cell across the hallway, to his left. 

He points, showing Ana. 

"There."

Ana grabs him. "The cameras aren't pointed towards the third floor," she says, looking toward the guard tower now.

"Shit." Lalo realizes the level of planning that went into this. "We're on our own." 

The skins heads must have bribed the guards. God, he's been so complacent lately. The relative peace with the Aryans for the past six months since the last hit was a feint. They've been planning this for a while.

"Why did they take Nacho?" Ana asks.

That's the exact question on Lalo's mind. He thinks back through the past couple of days since his arrival. Lalo claimed him within 24 hours of his arrival; got him a cushy job in the library; they've been inseparable since: eating, playing basketball, working out, getting high and fucking. They've had a few public fights.

It dawns on him; it's obvious they're friends, and that Lalo likes Nacho, maybe even respects him. He never really spent time with Carlos outside of his cell, and Carlos never dared to question or talk back to him in public. 

How stupid of him. 

He's provided the Aryans with the perfect opportunity; an opportunity they were probably waiting for. They're planning on bargaining with Nacho—making demands on Lalo that he would never concede to otherwise. If they just wanted to maim Nacho, to damage Lalo's property, they would have done it already. No. They've realized that Nacho means something to Lalo, and that makes him vulnerable.

He hates how scared he feels right now. There's a reason he avoids forming genuine emotional attachments to the men he fucks. He even holds his friends at arms length to avoid making them targets.

Why did he let his guard down like this? Is he getting soft? That's obviously what the Aryans think.

What a hell of a way to realize the depth of your emotions for another person.

He grinds his teeth together, his jaw a tightening vise. 

"Get Viktor and Lucas. We're going to see the Aryans.”

- - - - 

They move in force—Lalo, Viktor, Lucas, Ana, and a few other guys Lalo grabs along the way and head toward the cell at the end of the hall. As they approach Anders' crew streams out, forming a human blockade. 

He's definitely in there, that's at least confirmed. That also probably means he's still alive, Lalo thinks.

Anders emerges from the back of the crowd. 

"Lalo, so glad you could join us. Shall we?" he extends his arm toward an empty cell. They've planned every step.

"What is stopping me from rushing in there right now?" Lalo asks, in a calmer voice than most could muster in this situation. His eye catches that Anders' knuckles are raw and slightly bloody. That better not be Nacho's blood.

"If you try the guards will immediately push the lock-down button, and Nacho will be trapped in the cell all night with Devon and Joe. And they've been instructed to be very nice to Nacho. Very, very, nice." He says, with a smirk. Lalo's chest suddenly gets tight. He was supposed to protect Nacho from this type of violence. 

"And what’s stopping me from waiting you out? The guards will do their check at 10:00 pm." Lalo figures they have a plan for this but wants to know the details, to see if there are any weaknesses to exploit.

"Oh that won't be a problem. If by 10:00 pm we haven't reached an agreement the doors will close and the guards won't check the third floor. Jacobs was called out on a family emergency and they're short staffed. Tomorrow morning they'll find Nacho hung in his cell. It's sad, but it will be chalked up to an administrative error. No one will care that some poor kid took his own life. Everyone's been talking about how Lalo Salamanca was making all sorts of demands of him, things he wasn't comfortable with and he just couldn't take it anymore . . ."

"Enough. What do you want?" Lalo is eager to get the ball rolling. This isn't his first hostage negotiation. 

Nacho is coiled into a ball on the floor of the cell. Anders did not enjoy being provoked.

He punched Nacho in the jaw, making him fall to the ground, and then kicked him three or four times in the chest, arms, and legs before Devon and his men could pull him off. Nacho thinks he has a cracked rib and swollen jaw, but will make it out fairly unscathed, although his bruises will be nasty shades of blue by the end of the night.

He forgot how it felt to get the shit beaten out of him.

In a weird way its freeing. The pain clears all other thoughts from Nacho's brain, and he can stop holding onto fear. The worst thing he could imagine has happened; he's beaten and bruised and being held captive by the Aryans, who will do god knows what to him by the end of the night. And he's not sure that Lalo likes him enough to save him.

His dad will be so sad.

He uncoils himself and sits on the ground, with his back on the edge of the bed. Anders has left, and it's just him, Devon, and some other guy. The rest are standing in the hallway looking prepared for a fight, like a squad of soldiers waiting to spot the enemy cresting over a hill. He can see that most have some form of weapon on them. Nacho doesn't like the odds.

Nacho spits blood onto the floor. He checks his mouth to make sure he still has all of his teeth. One is loose but he's lucky.

An hour passes and they remain in a holding pattern. At this point Lalo must know he's missing. He wonders what will happen when the doors close for the night, since it's nearly 8:00 pm.

Nacho decides he's done waiting.

"What's the plan for when the doors close, and the guards realize I'm not in my cell?" he asks. Nacho's trying to assess which one of them is weakest, who will talk, who he can distract.

"Shut up fish." Devon says, ignoring Nacho.

They're both standing with their arms crossed, leaning onto the cell doors with their eyes on Nacho. Nacho can see a tattoo of a swastika peeking out below Devon's sleeve.

"Racial purity, huh. That's an interesting idea." Nacho says. He's not sure where he's going with this but a plan is starting to formulate in his head.

"So if Devon here sucked your dick, and you found out that he was 1/8th Apache, would that make you like 1/16th?" Devon's eyes are blazing with fury.

"Or if you came inside him, would your little prison baby be like twenty percent?"

They descend on him.

Lalo and Anders have been negotiating for twenty minutes. Anders wants a cut of Lalo's profits, and control over what comes in and out of the prison. Lalo counters with an offer to split the prison blocks. He doesn't want to share control over the C-suite. 

"The other blocks aren't as profitable. That's a shit deal." He says.

"Ten percent." Lalo offers.

Anders scoffs, sitting back in his chair. 

"Lalo I'm beginning to think you're not taking his seriously. Should I start bringing you toenails?" 

Fuck, time to get serious.

Just then one of Anders' goons enters the cell, and whispers something in Anders' ear. Anders looks annoyed.

He gets up. "If you'll excuse me." He says, momentarily distracted.

Lalo turns to Viktor, and they both recognize the opportunity.

All of a sudden Lalo and Viktor move in a coordinated attack. Lalo pulls out the switchblade he keeps in his sock and stabs Anders in the back, aiming for a lung. Anders falls.

Viktor's punching the other skin head, and takes a hit to the stomach. He yells to Nestor in the hallway.

Lalo jumps over Anders and knocks a third guy out with a blow to the back of the head.

Lucas, Nestor, and the rest of Lalo's crew are pushing guys into cells in the hallway and doing the same. Lalo steps out of the cell and sees a mosh pit of Anders' men around the entrance of the cell where they're keeping Nacho. It looks like a fight broke out inside and they're trying to extract someone, like when the guards have to drag out a noncompliant inmate.

Lalo looks back to the guard tower to see any signs of an imminent lock down. He has to get Nacho out of there.

He loses all sense of self-preservation and starts climbing on the outside of the hallway ledge, hanging onto the banister and shimmying around the crowd. He doesn't look down. He knows if he falls he would die on impact. Ana screams his name. Lalo miraculously makes it to the other side of the hallway and uses his body as a human wrecking ball, pushing the crowd back and away from the threshold of the cell. He knows that when bodies are packed this closely together it doesn't take much to create a domino effect.

Ana and some of his other guys make their way up behind Lalo by running through the stairwells and help him push the sea of bodies forward. He can hear the alarm go off signaling a lock down. He doesn't know how long he has before the cell doors automatically close, and bodies and limbs are crushed between them.

He gets inside the cell, and narrowly avoids getting stabbed. There are two or three guys on top of someone whose prone on the ground, probably Nacho. He peels them off one by one and uses the last of his remaining strength to push them out of the cell.

He needs it to just be him and Nacho remaining when the doors close. God he hopes Nacho is still breathing.

Lalo is lucky; very lucky. As the cell doors start to close there's only one skin head remaining, and Nacho is on the ground, moving slowly but still moving.

The guy sees the door closing and the switchblade in Lalo's hand and makes a quick calculation. He steps onto the other side, not wanting to get caught in a cell overnight with Lalo Salamanca and his lover. When the doors close, it’s just him and Nacho inside.

The rest of the inmates stuck outside scatter. The riot police will arrive soon and start dropping smoke canisters and shooting rubber bullets. It's best if you're either secured in a cell or laying pliant on the ground when they arrive.

Lalo can breathe for the first time.

He rolls Nacho over and sees that he's very bruised but awake.

"Nacho, can you hear me? Are you okay?" He says, holding Nacho in his arms and touching his face.

Nacho opens his eyes, and sees Lalo holding him.

"Oh hey, you came." Nacho says, as if surprised.

Lalo makes the sign of the cross. Gracias a Dios, he's okay.

He spends the next five minutes checking every inch of Nacho's body, pushing and prodding to see if Nacho broke any bones or has any internal bleeding. 

"I'm fine, Lalo. I'm just hurt." Nacho says.

"You scared me amorcito. I thought you were going to be dead under that pile of skin heads."

"Yeah, well I probably should be." Nacho says back with a wheeze. His ribs hurt when he breathes. 

"You were supposed to sit here and be a good hostage. I was getting you out. What did you do?" Lalo asks, wincing when Nacho winces.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be willing to save me. So I provoked them, hoping it would give you an opportunity." 

"That was so stupid mi vida. So stupid. If I didn't get in here before the doors closed they were going to do horrible horrible things to you."

Nacho tries to smirk, but can't because his face hurts. "So you did save me."

"Yes. I had to." Lalo kisses Nacho gently on the mouth. "Eres mi todo."

- - - - - 

Lalo spends the rest of the night nursing Nacho. They're in someone else's cell so the provisions are bare, but Lalo makes do. The riot police arrived around 10:00 pm but the fight was over at that point. The guards took anyone who looked like they'd been fighting to segregation, and calm settled over the block by midnight. Lalo hopes to god Anders is dead.

Nacho finally falls asleep around 1:00 am. Lalo checks to see if he's breathing frequently. He usually doesn't sleep more than four hours a night anyway, and he's still wired from the adrenaline.

He thinks about the next day. The guards will probably delay breakfast, or let them out in shifts until they figure out who the ringleaders were. If Anders isn't dead he's probably been sent to the infirmary by now. They'll take Nacho to the infirmary in the morning and him in for questioning. 

He has to get his story straight. The Aryans attacked him, unprovoked, and he was just defending himself. He flushes his switchblade down the toilet. He'll get another one later.

Within 24 hours things will probably be back to normal, although they might be on a restricted schedule for a while.

Whoever gets blamed will probably be removed from the C-suite altogether. The guards have to write a report on this--they can't just sweep it under the rug.

He looks at Nacho. He can't let them get separated. 

He realizes this is probably the only time they'll sleep together overnight.

His mind wanders to what it would be like to be with Nacho on the outside. Where they could fuck every night and wake up in the same bed together. He wants that; god he wants that, with Nacho. 

He turns away. It's not realistic. He'll be in prison for another six years, and Nacho will be released in two. He wouldn't wait for him. And even if he did, how could their relationship function in the real world? It's not like they're car salesmen. His uncle wouldn't tolerate it. And Nacho's dad might disown him. Nacho would always be a target, a weakness in Lalo's armor.

Lalo hasn't been in an actual relationship since grad school, and that ended messily. Like a ten-car pileup.

Lalo will take what he can get. One day at a time.

Nacho wakes up with a groan. It's still dark. He's confused about where he is and why his body hurts so much and suddenly remembers what transpired.

Lalo is sitting upright on the bunk bed, with his eyes closed. He's must have been watching him all night.

Nacho nudges Lalo with his foot. "Lalo." He says.

He wakes up with a start. "Nacho, how are you feeling?" He asks, moving so that he can assess Nacho.

"Like I got hit by a truck." He hisses as he tries to get up.

"Don't move. It's not 5:30 yet. They won't open the cells for breakfast until later." Lalo says, pushing him back down.

"What's going to happen today?" Nacho asks.

Lalo stands up. "I don't know. I've never experienced a lock down before. There will be an investigation. We have to get our story straight, you, me, and everyone else."

He looks at Nacho now. "They'll send you to the infirmary and run tests. I need you to figure out how to pass along information to me while you're there. I need to know who is in the infirmary. Specifically if Anders is there." He says.

"Okay."

Lalo is looking out through the cell bars now. "I may get sent to segregation, and to another Block."

"What, no." Nacho says, trying to rise and grabbing his ribs in pain.

"Yes. For a while. But I will be back mi vida." Lalo approaches Nacho now, bending down.

Nacho's breath gets caught in his throat. He feels a hollowness in his chest that's not supposed to be there. He can't imagine being in prison without Lalo. 

"Don't leave.” He says. 

"Nothing could keep me away."

Chapter Text

The guards come and take Nacho to the infirmary and Lalo to segregation that morning as Lalo predicted.

Nacho is transported to a hospital to get x-rays. The doctor’s confirm that he suffered a concussion and two cracked ribs but no other serious injuries. 

The trip took all day and he doesn’t get back to the infirmary until after the sun sets.

He’s exhausted from the travel and stress of being shuffled through a hospital with shackles on. They have him on strong pain medication that makes time pass more quickly and dulls his senses, but even the medication can’t completely get rid of the pain he feels when breathing, talking, or moving with two cracked ribs. Or the shock he feels at how he almost died last night. 

The doctor’s recommend he stay in the infirmary for at least a week, and be on rest for a while after that.

Nestor and a couple of guys from Anders’ crew are in the infirmary but not Anders.

Lalo told Nacho about how he stabbed him in the back and maybe nicked his lung. Lalo said it with such a straight face. Nacho wonders if Lalo has killed before, and if he ever feels remorse.

When his head hits the infirmary pillow, Nacho quickly fades into the ether. The last image on his mind is Lalo’s face; the face he made when he saw the guards coming down the hall in the morning—he looked at Nacho like he was trying to take a mental picture, like he was trying to remember every mole, every hair on Nacho’s body.

*****

The next morning Nacho wakes, and feels a profound sense of unidentifiable loss. He realizes that he has no idea when he will see Lalo again. It could be tomorrow, it could be in a month, or it could be never. Lalo used to feel like an anchor he was dragging around, something he wished he could be released from. But just a few days later he finds himself craving the weight of Lalo’s attention and missing his overwhelming presence. 

Sometime after breakfast Brian shows up for his shift. He helps Nacho to the bathroom.

While there they whisper between the stall doors. It’s the only moment of privacy they have in the packed infirmary.

”Is Anders dead?” Nacho asks.

”I don’t think so. Can’t be sure but I heard the nurses talking about transporting him to a hospital.”

”I hope he is.” Nacho says. “For your sake.”

“I just hope he doesn’t come back to C-suite.” 

Nacho doesn’t miss Brian’s distinction. Even after everything Anders did, Brian can’t bring himself to wish him dead. Too sweet for this world, just like Mingo.

”Can you pass that along to Viktor or Ana?” Nacho asks. He thinks they can get word to Lalo.

Brian nods.

”How are you?” Nacho manages to say, despite feeling his ribs shift when he stands up. The pain stops him from breathing and he has to concentrate on keeping his insides together.

”I feel bad saying this but I’m doing great, honestly. Anders is gone and no one has messed with me yet. Probably because of the lockdown and investigation. I don’t know how long it will last but I’m enjoying it while I can.”

Despite everything Nacho is glad to hear it. At least something good came from his botched kidnapping.

”When I’m healed we’ll get you set up.” Nacho says. “In our crew. So you don’t have to go back to the Aryans.”

”Really?” Brian looks like a kid on Christmas morning.

”Really.”

Nacho’s not sure, but he thinks that with Lalo gone he might be able to convince the rest of the crew to protect Brian, and Nacho can teach him the basics of drug smuggling and dealing, find a way for him to be useful. 

Brian thanks him, and helps him back to his bed. Nacho has to nap to recover from the effort.

Another day passes with Nacho flowing in and out of consciousness. He sees Nestor get released back to the general population.

At some point investigators from the BOP come to ask Nacho some questions but he has a hard time giving them straight answers on the pain medication. He tries to stick to the story Lalo told him: the Aryans attacked him and dragged him into a cell. No, he doesn’t know why. Lalo came to save him because their families are friends.

They give up at some point, realizing that Nacho is in no shape for an interrogation.

On day four Nacho starts refusing the pain medication. He hates the feeling of not knowing what day or time it is, of always being on the verge of falling asleep.

Brian keeps passing information to him: C-suite is still on post-lockdown procedures. Rec time is suspended, meals are eaten in shifts, inmates spend more time locked in their cells than usual. The library is closed and activities are suspended until further notice. Ana, Lucas, and Lalo are still in segregation. So are Devon and Joe and a number of the Aryans involved. 

Nacho is worried about his dad. He was supposed to call a couple of days ago.

Finally, a week after lockdown, he's released to his cell. 

It’s midday, and Huell is gone. He walks to the cafeteria to get lunch, and finds Nestor and Lucas sitting at their table. Lucas must have just gotten released.

"Nacho!" They both say, excited to see him. "The hostage returns."

Nacho smiles. He’s relieved to finally be out of the infirmary and with his friends.

They spend lunch discussing the lockdown; who's still in segregation; when they think things will return to normal; what each of them saw happen that day. Lucas tells Nacho what Lalo did to save him.

"He what?" Nacho is dumbfounded.

"He climbed on the railing, fully mission impossible. He could have died, like easily could have died." Lucas says.

"Jesus." Nacho can't believe it. I mean he knew that he saved him but he didn't know the lengths he went to. Lalo didn’t mention that. God, he wishes Lalo wasn't still in segregation. He didn't get to properly thank him that night.

"Yeah. He uh, he really cares about you." Lucas says, finding the words foreign.

"I think that's an understatement." Nestor chimes in.

Nacho is in a state of disbelief. He hasn’t been able to process what happened that day yet because of his injuries and the pain medication, and still doesn’t understand why Lalo went to such lengths to save him. He hoped that by distracting the skin heads Lalo would be able to avoid negotiating, but now he realizes that Lalo probably would have saved him either way. Anders did say that people thought Lalo cared about him more than Carlos. But it still seems too good to be true. They’ve only just met, haven't they?

On the other hand, no one, except probably his parents, has ever . . . been willing to sacrifice themselves for him. Does that mean that Lalo loves him or something?

"Do we know what's going to happen to him?" Nacho asks, pretending not to be overthinking. 

"I don't know. I think they're trying to pin it on him and Anders. This seems more serious than the last time he was under investigation." Lucas answers.

Nacho is worried now. Really worried. What if they never release him back to C-suite? What if he never gets to see him again? He suddenly feels guilty, like this was his fault.

"We'll know more when Ana is released. Her lawyer works at the same firm as Lalo's." Lucas adds.

Nacho's emotions swing wildly toward hope. Lalo can get through this, he's done it before. He's got the best lawyers money can buy, and so far he's been invincible. He'll be back, two weeks, a month tops—Nacho just needs to make it through the month. Figure out a way to keep himself and the rest of the crew safe. As long as everyone thinks Lalo is coming back they'll be too scared to mess with him, right?

Nacho calls his dad the same day, and makes up a lie about his account being suspended so he doesn't have to tell him about the lockdown, his injuries, or Lalo, especially not Lalo.

He calls Domingo, too, because his Dad said they were both worried.

After repeating the same lie, Domingo shifts the conversation topic.

"Hey, I asked around, about what you said before. It is true?"

"Is what true?" Nacho asks.

"That you're in his crew?"

Nacho suddenly realizes he's talking about Lalo. "Yeah . . ." Nacho's not sure what to tell Domingo about their relationship.

"Damn, that's crazy. He's a seriously bad motherfucker. Like ruthless." 

"Oh?" Nacho wants more details.

"Yeah. I can't say more, but it's wild that you get to work for him. I would be scared shitless if I were you." 

It’s funny how Domingo is right, but not for the reasons he thinks.

”Oh I am Domingo, I am.”

- - - -- 

Ana is released the next day, and Nacho practically bombards her with questions when he sees her walking up the stairs. 

"Woah woah Nacho. Slow down. Let's go to my cell." She says.

Once there, Ana tells him that Lalo will stay in segregation until his hearing is over, which is scheduled for three weeks' time. 

Okay, three weeks, he thinks. Could be worse.

She also says that his lawyers are working around the clock on his case and that Lalo is sparing no expense. 

“He’ll probably be fine Nacho, don’t worry.” She says. Nacho can tell she's trying to hide her own doubt.

”In the meantime we have to figure out what we’re doing.” Ana emphasizes, pointing toward herself and Nacho. 

“We have to capitalize on the momentum. Anders is gone, the Aryans are weak, and we have a business to salvage.” She says.

Nacho agrees, and is happy to devote himself fully to this new mission and avoid thinking about the future.

”Let’s do this.”

- - - - -

Once the heat dies down from the investigation and things begin to return to normal, Viktor gives the word to Hector to restart shipments. Viktor, Ana, and Nacho plan to run the show in Lalo's absence.

Nacho easily slots himself alongside them. Ana and Viktor are used to operating as a team but they almost always disagree, requiring a third party to break the logjam. Nestor and Lucas are always off fucking, and Huell doesn't like making decisions, so that naturally leaves it to Nacho. Nacho soon figures out that they're paying too much for their pills and weed, that the measurements are off and have been off for some time, and Viktor stops looking at him like a liability and starts seeking his approval before making any major decisions. Nacho is surprised at how good he is at running the show—he's detail oriented, level headed, and doesn't mind the pressure.

As his first official act he gets Viktor to switch Brian and Kevin so Brian is on kitchen duty and Kevin works in the infirmary. Kevin shoots him a dirty look when Viktor tells him the news but Nacho justifies it as a means to protect Brian. He needs him close and having people he trusts in key positions is his prerogative as leader. It has nothing to do with the fact that Kevin and Lalo used to fuck--that's the last thing on his mind. He just feels better when he's gone, that's all. 

Once the drugs and porn start flowing again no one seems to care that Nacho—Lalo's fish—is running the show.

Nacho no longer fears for his physical safety. They're either scared Lalo will come back and stab them in the back like Anders or they've decided Nacho isn't as easy of a target as they originally thought. It turns out provoking Anders gave him serious credibility.

Another two weeks pass and Nacho looks forward to Lalo’s release. He’s sure that his hearing will go well.

He's been spending most nights in Lalo's room, hanging out with Ana, listening to music, reading Lalo's books, laying on his bed and pretending Lalo is just sitting on the reading chair in the corner.

He finished One Hundred Years of Solitude, Love in the Time of Cholera, and even found Meditations in his collection. He devours it this time. Prison seems to have sharpened his focus—he's capable of sitting and reading for hours now. He even did his assignment from writing class: his personal statement. He wrote about his mom. When he brought it to Mr. Richards, he told Nacho that his grammar was shit but that he had a unique voice and encouraged him to keep writing. Nacho doesn't believe him, but for some reason keeps going back to his statement, reading it, re-reading it, and revising. He doesn't know why but he wants it to be perfect. 

He also spends a lot of time masturbating, and has learned that his orgasm is stronger, like twice as strong, if he penetrates himself while doing it. After that discovery his desire escalates exponentially. He finds himself drifting off in conversations, in his daily tasks, thinking about Lalo's mouth, his hands, or his dick. He fantasizes about Lalo fucking him everywhere: the showers, his cell, Lalo's cell, the freezers, the kitchen, the gross little shed in the rec area, even the library. He wants Lalo to lift him up again, like he did that first night, and fuck him on the table. He wants Lalo to bend him over and fuck him from behind in the showers, and to cum all over his back. He wants to get fucked with his legs in the air, and for Lalo to cum deep inside him, claim him, whisper into his ear and scream loudly that Nacho is his and only his. He wants to explore Lalo with his mouth; wants Lalo to give him lazy blow jobs and mind blowing ones. He wants Lalo to finger him again, to find that spot and make him cum in the showers. He wants to give Lalo a hasty hand job in the library when Gretchen falls asleep and the old guys are collecting books. He wants Lalo to say dirty, destabilizing things to him at all hours of the day, to drive him crazy and grant him release at night.

He wants him back. He wants to spend time with him, to read alongside him, to watch movies and have Lalo put his arm around him. He wants to hear him laugh, and to tell him how well he's been running his business, and see Lalo look at him with that face of pride Nacho covets.

He knows he's probably idolizing Lalo, papering over his many flaws because he's gone and Nacho misses him and doesn't know when he'll be back but he allows himself to be a little delusional. He's fantasizing a perfect relationship with Lalo that never existed and probably won't ever exist but it helps him get through his days, and he's okay with that. 

One night, Nacho and Brian are standing side-by-side in the freezers counting pills and taking swigs of toilet wine. Over the past few weeks Brian has become a genuine friend to Nacho.

At some point they finish their task, but they don't have anything else to do before the 15-minute warning so he and Brian sit in the kitchen and continue to drink. Nacho likes to drink or get high in the evenings, shoot the shit, generally spend time outside of his own head. It's easier that way. 

Nacho gets up from the table to grab some bread from the fridge when he realizes how much they've drank in a such a short amount of time but as he jumps down he loses his balance. He's definitely drunk now.

Brian catches his arm and pulls him back towards him, preventing him from falling.

Nacho is about to apologize when he feels Brian's lips on his.

"What?" Nacho says, pushing Brian backwards but maintaining a hold on him for balance.

"Sorry. Sorry. I . . . I'm drunk. I'm sorry." Brian quickly says, looking away and trying to wriggle out of Nacho's grasp.

Nacho is so confused. He had no idea Brian . . . liked him? He doesn't take offense but doubts that Brian actually wants to have sex with him.

"Brian, I'm sorry, I'm with Lalo." He says, trying to soften the blow. It looks like Brian is holding back tears now.

"No I know. I don't know why I did that. I'm just confused. You've been so nice to me and I just feel like I have to repay you but I don't know how. I know you only brought me in to protect me. I know you don’t actually need my help. Anders made me think . . . he told me things. That I wasn't worth anything, except  . . ." Tears are softly falling from his eyes now.

"Brian you don't owe me anything." Nacho tightens his grip on Brian now. He wants to make a point. "You don't owe anyone anything, do you understand that?"

"I . . . yeah, I don't know." Brian says, not convinced.

"Listen. You're going to get out of here. You're going to go to college, and you're never going to touch drugs ever again." Nacho doesn't know where this speech is coming from but he lets it flow. "You're going to find a nice girl, a very nice girl, and get married, have kids. And you're going to send me a letter once a year and tell me how you're doing. That's all, that's all I ask."

Brian is fully crying now.

"Ok, yeah." He's finally nodding. "Thank you Nacho. Thank you." 

Nacho sends him to his cell and finishes the bottle by himself.

He can't help but feel completely alone.

- - - - -

A month after the lockdown, Ana returns from the phone room with an update on Lalo's case. Her face betrays her.

"Just tell me." Nacho says, he can't bear the suspense.

"His hearing didn't go well. He's being moved to another block." Ana says, clearly upset.

"Shit!" Nacho screams. Ana jumps.

"They're appealing, but we won't hear for another two weeks, maybe more." She adds.

"I'm going to the phone room." Nacho cuts her off. He needs to hear his dad's voice, or Domingo's, to remind him that there's more to his life than prison and Lalo because right now it feels like he has nothing to live for.

Ana is left to break the news to everyone else.

- - - - - 

Word gets around that Lalo isn't returning to C-suite, and the guards clean out his cell. Nacho spends that day getting high in his cell and violently drunk that evening. 

Viktor moves some paperwork around and gets Brian put in Ana's cell to eliminate any risk that some random asshole will get placed there.

Nacho is officially in charge now.

They're not able to talk to Lalo directly but start passing information between the lawyers, which takes forever. Lalo tells them that he's in B Block, and so is Anders.

He doesn't leave a message for Nacho. Nacho feels weirdly upset about it for a whole day even though he understands why he didn't, why he couldn’t. But he can’t help but feel like Lalo has already forgotten about him.

Since the news broke Nacho has had to set up meetings with some of the other minor players to assure them that they have no intention on stopping their operation. A few try to argue for increasing their cuts but Nacho doesn't negotiate; the terms stand as is until Lalo's appeal fails.

Viktor tells Nacho that a guy named Leon, who runs the laundry and smuggles stuff out of the prison, requested a private meeting with Nacho.

Nacho finds him in the laundry room. 

He's young, probably early 30s, and built. He's not as tall as Lalo but looks strong, and like he spends as much time in the gym as Nacho does. Nacho notices his light brown eyes for the first time. Strange.

"Ah Mr. Varga, nice to finally make your acquaintance." He says, extending his hand to shake. Nacho bristles at the title.

"It's just Nacho." He grips his hand tightly.

"I heard the bad news. And I'm worried about you guys. I'm not sure you can hold onto this place without him." He says. He lets go of Nacho's hand but Nacho feels the pressure of a finger on his palm as they detach. The move feels vaguely lecherous, but Nacho can’t be sure it was intended that way.

"Oh?" Nacho pretends to be incredulous. So far this conversation is unfolding exactly the same as the other three he's had today.

"Yeah. But I came here to make you an offer, not try to take a bigger cut." Leon says, showing his pearly whites. Nacho feels a flash of attraction to Leon, which he quickly dismisses as a side effect of his loneliness.

"And what's that?" Nacho asks, trying to appear aloof.

"Merge our crews, and I'll run things with you." He says, looking directly at Nacho. Nacho tries not to notice that he has a strong, square jaw. 

Nacho pauses to think. It’s an interesting offer, but he has no idea who this Leon guy is and he knows that he's perfectly capable of running the show on his own.

"I don't know you." 

"Lalo knew me, and he trusted me. I swear. Just think about it. We could get to know each other, and we'll be stronger together." He says, trying to keep Nacho's attention.

"Thanks, but no thanks. We'll keep the original terms." He turns to leave the laundry.

"Call me when you get lonely at the top." Leon calls behind him.

He ignores him, and heads through the door.

 - - - - - 

The next day Leon finds him at the gym. Nacho pretends not to notice him approach.

"You're using two different weights." He says, sidling up next to him.

"What?"

"You're using a 25 and a 30." He says, pointing to the weights Nacho is curling.

"Oh." Nacho realizes he was, and puts them down.

"I see you workout a lot, you seem dedicated." Leon says. 

"You don't need to flatter me, really." He dismisses him, moving to the bench.

"I'm not sucking up to you, I'm just being honest. I've admired how you've played this whole thing, from the start. Even with Lalo." He says, standing behind the bench and looking down at Nacho.

"What does that mean?" Nacho is starting to feel like Leon is becoming a pest, and might be eyeing more than one opportunity that Lalo's transfer created.

"I'm just saying, you came here a nobody and you tamed the beast, and then came out on top." Leon smiles as he says it, showing off his perfect teeth again.

"Look, I'm not going to merge with you, and I'm not going to fuck you, so don't waste your time." Nacho says, benching a few reps to release his frustration with this conversation.

Leon looks surprised, but doesn’t object to the accusation. "Wow. So direct. Alright, I get it, I'll leave you alone. But keep me in mind, you know, for the future." He winks at Nacho as he says it, and then turns to leave. 

Nacho curses under his breath. Lalo's appeal isn't even back yet and these vultures are already picking over his corpse. They can try all they want, it won’t matter. Nacho isn't looking for someone else to take care of him, he's made now. Leon and everyone else can go fuck themselves. 

- - - - - 

A few days later Leon invites his crew to hang out in the laundry after dinner. He doesn’t want to go but Viktor says that they should. That it’s better to socialize and pretend to be friends so they can keep an eye on Leon and make sure he’s not moving against them. Something reductive about keeping your enemies closer.

Nacho doesn’t want to encourage Leon but he agrees on the condition that he gets to leave early. 

When they arrive Leon greets each of them with a full body hug, and hands everyone a drink. Nacho sips it, expecting toilet wine but is pleasantly surprised when it tastes more like moonshine.

”Good right? It’s my own recipe” Leon says. “Learned it from my grandma.”

Nacho nods.

”Be careful now. It’s strong. Half of my family wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for that drink.” He says with a wink.

Leon’s guys chuckle.

”One drink, and I’m leaving.” Nacho turns and whispers to Viktor. The laundry room is starting to feel like a frat house.

Nacho sips his drink in the corner and watches Leon mingle with everyone at the party. Nacho notices that he has that ability to make the person he's talking to feel like they're the center of his world, like nothing is more interesting to him than what they're saying at that very moment.

His guys seem at ease around him, like they're not afraid he might lash out at any moment. It's definitely a different leadership dynamic than with Lalo. 

Nacho is surprised Lalo never mentioned Leon before, and wonders if he purposefully kept him away from the laundry.

Eventually Leon makes his way over to Nacho, just as he was about to put his drink down and head upstairs.

"No don't leave, I was just making my way over to the guest of honor." He says, flashing his smile again. He must know that it works on people.

Nacho wants to leave, but he also doesn't want to spend the rest of the night sitting in his cell with no one to distract him.

"I'm not leaving." He says, with a sigh. 

"Good. I wanted to talk with you tonight. I was surprised when you accepted my invitation."

Nacho forgot what it felt like to be the center of someone's attention, to be desired. He realizes he missed it, but then chastises himself for being vain.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You've been dodging me. I hope I haven't made you feel uncomfortable." He says, suddenly serious.

"No. I'm not threatened." Nacho is being honest. 

Leon laughs. "I didn't think so. You're really impressive, you know that?"

Nacho hates that his compliment feels sincere and that it makes him feel good. It must be the moonshine or something, but he feels drawn to Leon, like he wants to keep talking to him.

"Thanks." He says, looking down at his drink and suddenly feeling shy.

"Enough flattery." Leon is leaning on the dryers now, with his body canted toward Nacho's.

"Have you thought more about my offer?" He asks. He's looking around the room now.

"Not really. But I have been thinking about the laundry business. I have a few ideas." Nacho says. This is true--he thinks that they're missing an opportunity to get rid of unsold drugs and merchandise through the laundry and resell it somewhere else. 

"Oh?" Leon asks, but Nacho can tell that he's distracted by something now.

Nacho hates that it makes him feel less than, that he suddenly wants Leon's full attention.

"If you'll excuse me," Leon says before Nacho can respond, touching Nacho's arm. As he steps away, he looks back at Nacho and yells "we'll talk soon--I'm interested in those ideas." 

Nacho sees Leon slowly follow after someone walking out. He's mildly pissed. Leon invited him and made a big deal about the fact that he came and now he's leaving his own party early? 

Nacho decides he's done for the night. As much as he wants to Irish goodbye he takes time to check on Viktor, Ana, Lucas, and the rest and then head back to his cell. 

As he's walking up the stairs he hears the sounds of two people grunting. He looks down and notices there's a small area at the bottom of the stairwell in front of a locked door. It must be where they take deliveries in and out of the prison. He sees Leon and Kevin together. Leon is fucking Kevin on the banister; they're totally engrossed in the moment and neither notice Nacho. He's fucking Kevin hard, like he has something to prove. Kevin keeps repeating "oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck" over and over again and looks completely blissed out. Nacho feels his dick grow. He's jealous, of Kevin.

He hasn't touched anyone in almost two months. Not a hug, not anything. Up until this point he hadn't thought about fucking anyone other than Lalo, the idea seeming sacrilegious. He thought he would just remain celibate until his release, but realizes that might actually be hard, that he might actually want Leon, that he's attracted to him. 

He heads up the stairs, not wanting to get caught peeping on them. When he gets to his cell he masturbates to the thought of Leon or Lalo--Leon and Lalo--fucking him on the banister and then feels so guilty that he almost punches the wall but stops at the last moment, his self-preservation kicking in.

Lalo risked everything for him and here he is, so desperate to get laid that he's fantasizing about fucking someone behind Lalo's back. His Catholic guilt eats him alive. 

He vows to avoid Leon for the foreseeable future. If he doesn't interact with him then he can't end up in his bed, right?

- - - - - -

A few days later Nacho is stacking books in the library when Ana rushes in. She makes a beeline for Nacho.

Nacho looks at her wide-eyed.

"He's coming back." She says.

Nacho's chest rises.

"Lalo?"

"Yes. The appeal was granted. He's coming back to C-suite." She says, smiling and patting Nacho on the back.

"Do we know when?" Nacho is overwhelmed by the news. He had all but given up. 

"No. Probably in a week, or less." 

Nacho is speechless.

"Well, are you happy, come on, give me some reaction!" Ana laughs.

"Yes. I'm happy. I'm . . . I'm so happy." Nacho is genuinely smiling.

He's ecstatic, but also nervous. He realizes how much has changed since Lalo went into segregation. He, not Lalo, is running the business. He's found that Viktor, Anna, and him work surprisingly well together. Everyone in prison respects him even with Lalo gone, and is a little scared of him. All of his free time is his to spend as he wishes. Essentially, a 180 degree change from when Lalo was here. He wonders if Lalo will expect him to act like his lap dog again.

Nacho thinks back to the night in the laundry room and feels guilty all over again. He's grateful that he didn't act on impulse. Lalo would have probably killed him, and Leon. 

This also means that he and Lalo can finally, properly fuck. He's been fantasizing about it for two months and now he can actually have it?

Shit. He needs to get ready.

- - - - 

Nacho spends the next few days trying to stretch himself. It's difficult to do with his fingers, but he wants to be able to take Lalo--all of Lalo--the first night he's back. He's not sure Lalo will be able to stop himself and he thinks he won't want him to stop either. 

At some point while the crew is drinking in Nacho's room to celebrate the news he musters up the courage to ask Lucas if he has a dildo. Lucas nods, and discretely brings it to him. At first Nacho is too grossed out to use it but after washing it a few hundred times he uses it to stretch himself when Huell isn't in the cell. 

Friday comes and Lalo still isn't back. Nacho grows nervous that he won't be transferred until Monday. He spends a lot of his free time looking at the entryway to the block, hoping to catch him walking in. Everyone can tell that he's on edge.

The next day after rec Nacho is laying in his bed trying to nap when he hears cheering and clapping. He bolts upright. He thought they wouldn't move him on the weekend. Could it be?

He rushes to the balcony and looks down. Sure enough, Lalo is being escorted into C-suite with a box of stuff in hand. Nacho beams. It's really him. 

The guards take him into the administrative office, probably to assign him to another room. 

He doesn't know what to do with his hands, or body. His palms are sweaty. He runs into his cell to brush his teeth and look at himself in the mirror. He showered after rec so he's luckily clean. Shit, he's nervous. He forgot how Lalo made his whole body buzz with a mix of anticipation, fear, and desire. 

He doesn't know why, but he starts straightening up his cell.

He checks to see if Lalo is still in the office every few seconds. He probably looks insane, running back and forth between the balcony and his cell with a crazed look in his eyes.

The last time he checks he sees the office door open. Lalo steps out again, smiling. The guards lead him to his new cell. Inmates are clapping him on the back as he walks by, and Lalo looks triumphant. He still hasn't looked up towards Nacho's cell and Nacho wonders if that's intentional. Should he go down? Or stay up here? He decides to wait until the guards go back to the tower to make a decision. 

They lead Lalo to a cell on the second floor, on the other side of the block.

A few excruciating minutes later, Nacho sees the guards walk down the stairs, alone. Nacho tries to move but his feet are stuck, like they're glued to the floor. 

What if Lalo doesn't like him anymore? What if he fucked someone else while he was gone? What if he somehow heard about Leon and he's mad? His brain is flooding with anxious thoughts.

He watches Lalo climb the stairs to the third floor. Viktor and Nestor greet him. They embrace, and Lalo is grinning widely. They make some joke and Lalo throws his head back in laughter. God he forgot how loud Lalo was. Ana is standing behind them and Lalo makes his way over to her. They hug each other for a while. It looks like Ana is tearing up. Lalo finally releases her. Nacho is still stuck standing in front of his cell, watching the reunion. 

Lalo finally turns his head toward Nacho's direction. Nacho stops breathing. He can't help but look and feel scared, like a deer caught in headlights.

Lalo flashes him a smile, but Nacho can see the hunger in his eyes. He's been putting on a show of restraint but Nacho can tell that he's counting down the seconds until he's greeted everyone and can finally be alone with Nacho. He starts walking over. Oh fuck. This is happening. Lalo is going to devour him. Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck. He suddenly wishes he had some liquid courage for this moment. Too late now.

Lalo walks toward Nacho slowly. He doesn't look away for a second, like a lion tracking a gazelle. Nacho is still frozen in place.

"Nachito." He says, when he finally reaches Nacho, who stays close to the railing like he's afraid he'll lose his balance if he has to stand unassisted. Lalo is towering over him now, and pressing into his back. Nacho smells him, remembering how much he enjoys his scent. Nacho can feel Lalo's erection through his pants and Nacho's dick instantly responds.

Lalo puts his arm around Nacho's shoulders.

"Why don't we spend some time in your cell?" He says, directly into Nacho's ear.

Nacho hasn't said a word to Lalo yet, his tongue caught in his throat.

Lalo doesn't seem to care. He drags him away from the banister, to the privacy of the cell, practically sweeping him off the floor.

Lalo picks Nacho up and smashes his back into the cell wall, almost knocking the wind out of Nacho. He reflexively squeezes his legs to keep himself upright. Nacho has been dreaming of this exact scenario for so long. He loves when Lalo picks him up; loves how strong Lalo is. Lalo kisses Nacho deeply—practically swallows Nacho's tongue. 

"Amorcito I want you so bad. I missed you so much. I thought about fucking you every day, every single day." He says, all of his restraint from before clearly gone.

All Nacho can do is try to meet Lalo’s energy in this moment. Words have left him; he has no means to communicate how he's feeling.

"Were you a good boy while I was gone?" Lalo asks, while sucking on Nacho's neck. Nacho instinctively balks. Of course he was, how could Lalo even doubt that? He almost begins to argue with Lalo but catches himself when he realizes that Lalo's possessiveness might be more sexual than real, like Lalo gets off on Nacho's submission and devotion, but doesn't actually doubt that Nacho was loyal. 

"Yes, of course." Nacho says, pulling his legs out of Lalo's grasp to signal that he wants to stand. Lalo releases him.

"Mmmm you're mine, aren't you, you've been waiting for me, huh?" Lalo says, pulling Nacho's shirt off.

"Yes, I want you to fuck me so bad." Nacho says, trying to pull Lalo's shirt off at the same time. He surprises even himself with that admission. He's always struggled to feel confident enough to speak his desires out loud.

Lalo's face grows slack, like he's overwhelmed by Nacho talking to him that way; his brain flooding with sexual dopamine.

"Oh fuck mi vida, you're so fucking hot." Lalo suddenly drops to his knees, and grabs Nacho's hips, twisting them so Nacho is facing the wall. Nacho has to shoot his arms out so he doesn't face plant.

"Shi--" Nacho tries to say, before feeling the swipe of Lalo's tongue on his asshole. "SHIT." He screams. The feeling is stranger than anything he's felt before. Lalo chuckles below. "You like that?" He teases Nacho. 

Nacho grabs his dick now, pre-come leaking out despite the fact that he masturbated this morning to the thought of Lalo blowing him. “Yes.”

Lalo reaches around and smacks Nacho's hand away.

"Not yet." He says. Nacho feels Lalo's tongue on him again, and puts his fist in his mouth and bites down. He doesn't think he's going to last long.

Lalo slips a finger in. Nacho's proud at how easily it goes in. His prep worked.

Lalo pulls out, and suddenly stands up. Nacho is confused, until Lalo flips him around again so that his back is leaning on the wall. 

Lalo has his left hand on the wall near Nacho's head and his other hand on Nacho's hip.

"Did you . . . prep for me?" Lalo's hair is wild, his eyes are blown and his lips are red from the contact.

"Yeah." Nacho says, feeling nervous that Lalo will find it weird.

Lalo smashes his body into Nacho's.

"Jesus Christ Nacho, you're going to fucking kill me. That's the hottest thing I've ever fucking heard." He says, pulling Nacho backward and then pushing him back onto the bed. "You're such a slut for me."

Nacho should be offended, but it’s true. He’s been thinking about Lalo for weeks, praying he would come back and desecrate his body with his dick.

Lalo is really desperate now. He rips Nacho's pants off his legs and pulls his own pants off just as quickly. They're both completely naked, for the first time. 

Nacho is completely lost in the moment. Time has stopped, and his only focus is getting Lalo's dick inside him and coming all over his chest. 

Lalo pounces on him, kissing him again and pulling Nacho's legs up onto his sides. He presses his dick into Nacho, and he can feel it slot between his ass. 

"Do you have a condom?" Lalo asks. Nacho realizes he doesn't. He didn't think about that. Shit.

"No." He says. He wonders if Lalo would fuck him raw. He knows that's not a good idea but he's too horny to wait, and is intrigued by the idea of Lalo’s cum in his ass. 

"Shit." Lalo hastily puts his clothes on, and Nacho whines. Where the fuck is he going?

"I'll be back. Don't fucking move." He says. Nacho can't believe Lalo is going to go out in public with a massive erection and looking so obviously mid-coitus. 

He lets his head fall back onto the bed. His erection hasn't flagged one bit.

Nacho has never seen Lalo move this fast before. He's back in the cell within a few seconds—he must have sprinted. His hands are on Nacho's legs pulling him back into position and stripping his clothes off in record time. Nacho barely has any time to breathe before he hears Lalo ripping open a condom wrapper and lining himself up against his asshole. 

"Breathe mi vida." Lalo says, his eyes locked on Nacho's. 

Nacho does what he's told.

No amount of stretching could prepare him for what he feels, both physically and emotionally, when Lalo's dick enters him.

He's been waiting for this moment for two months, building it up in his head, breaking it down beat by beat. He's been scared, nervous, excited, and everything in between.

His whole lower body is stiff, and his eyes are closed trying to concentrate on relaxing to accommodate Lalo. Lalo is moving slowly, so slowly that it feels like he's not moving at all, but Nacho knows that he's pushing his dick in quarter inch by quarter inch. 

Nacho feels pain, but he's never interpreted the feeling of pain this way before; like it's good, like he wants it. He realizes that Lalo must have grabbed lube too because he's not feeling any burn, just pressure. 

"Oh fuck you feel so good mi vida. Oh fuck I'm not going to last." Lalo says from above. Two months away have left him unable to control himself.

Nacho opens his eyes. He's staring directly into Nacho's face and Nacho can see the physically straining position he's in. He's using every muscle to hold himself in place. Nacho wraps his legs around Lalo's backside and pulls him inward.

Now it's Lalo's turn to close his eyes.

"Don't, amorcito. I'm going to cum if we go too fast." 

Nacho can't wait any longer.

"Lalo fuck me like you promised. Fuck me like I deserve it." He says. Lalo is supposed to be the experienced one between the two of them.

Lalo's eyes shoot open. He recognizes that he's being challenged.

"My my my how you've changed since I've been gone." 

Lalo pulls out, and bucks his hips, making Nacho gasp.

"Be careful what you wish for Nachito." He says. He seems to have found his resolve.

Nacho steadies himself. He doesn't care that he probably needs more prep time.

"Do it." He says, jutting his chin out.

Lalo looks at him the same way he did when Nacho told him that he wasn't his property; when he found Nacho after he flushed his drugs down the toilet.

"As you wish, mi amor." He says, feeling assured that Nacho can take it. He thrusts, one, two, three, four times in and out, with the precision of a machine.

Nacho can't help the tears that fall from his eyes. He didn't know that his body was capable of this.

"You're mine." Lalo says, and starts fucking Nacho at a regular pace. He cants his hips ever so to pinpoint Nacho's prostate. Nacho can't help but babble curse words when Lalo finds it. He feels like he's being hit by a train over and over again, a spike of pleasure and then a burst of pain, but he can't bring himself to move out of the way. He's so overwhelmed, but knows this is exactly what he's wanted for weeks now.

"No one else is ever going to fuck you like this. Ever going to see you like this." He says. Lalo is talking himself into an orgasm. 

“No one.” Nacho repeats. He’s fallen into Lalo’s fantasy.

Lalo takes Nacho's dick in his hand and starts stroking him between thrusts. Nacho's toes are tingling now, and his focus is shifting back and forth between his dick and where Lalo is spearing him open.

"Come for me." Lalo says.

Nacho releases before Lalo even finishes the command.

He can feel his ass clench around Lalo's dick, and he cums harder and for longer than he usually does. Lalo releases his hand and lays his head on his shoulder, using the last of his strength to thrust a few more times before crying out Nacho's name and collapsing on top of him.

Nacho struggles to breathe under Lalo's massive weight. He can feel Lalo's dick grow softer but Lalo doesn't move an inch. They both spend the next minute catching their breath. 

Lalo finally lifts his chest up, and strokes Nacho's face, looking at him with unmistakable adoration. 

"Fuck, it's good to be home."

Chapter Text

"I think you broke my dick Nachito." Lalo says, finally rolling off him. 

Nacho snorts.

"I'm serious. I don't think I've ever been this attracted to someone in my entire life." Lalo sits up, and gets up to grab a rag to clean them both up, removing the condom and throwing it in the trash.

"Oh yeah?" Nacho says, feeling immobilized on the bed. He's going to need more time to recover from that.

"I think you re-cracked one of my ribs." He says, feeling his torso to find any tender spots.

Lalo turns around now, smiling. He hands Nacho the wet rag.

"You're welcome." He says. "You needed that, clearly." 

"Shut up."

Lalo smiles, and watches him wipe his own cum from his chest.

"Are you okay, though? Did I hurt you?" He asks.

"I'm fine. I mean, I won't be able to do that again for a bit but I'll recover." Nacho finally sits up. He reaches for his clothes to put them back on. Lalo has since put his pants and shirt on.

It's almost lunchtime, and Nacho is suddenly very hungry.

"Hmmm . . . I can't wait. You're not going to be able to walk for weeks. We have two months of fucking to make up for." Lalo snatches Nacho's shirt from his grasp now.

"Who said you can put your shirt back on?" Lalo looks at Nacho mischievously, holding his shirt behind his back.

"Lalo." Nacho rises, unamused. Lalo's been back for less than 20 minutes and he's already annoying him.

"What? Big man can't take orders anymore?" Lalo jokes.

So Lalo does know what's been going on in C-suite in his absence.

"Look. Someone had to do it, did you want to come back to the Aryans moving product, or Leon?" Nacho says, trying to grab his shirt from Lalo. 

Lalo steps back.

"Leon?" He asks, suddenly on guard.

"Shit." Nacho thinks to himself. Why did he say his name? He knew there was a reason Lalo never mentioned him before.

Nacho decides to play it cool.

"I don't know. That was just a random example."

Lalo steps closer to Nacho now, looking closely at his face while Nacho tries to look down at the floor.

"Random?"

"Yeah. He was just on my mind because he asked me for a meeting recently, and offered to merge, before we knew you were coming back. That's all." He says. It's the truth, well half of the truth.

Nacho tries to meet his gaze to show that he isn't hiding anything.

"Did he try something?" Lalo asks. He looks concerned, and angry.

"No." Nacho lies.

"Don't lie."

"He never said it directly, okay. And he's fucking Kevin, or at least he fucked Kevin." Nacho doesn't know why he's telling Lalo that part now. He keeps putting his foot in his mouth.

"Why do you know that?" If Lalo was joking before he's not now.

"Can we not fight?" Nacho asks, exasperated. He finally snatches his shirt back and puts it on.

"You just got back. Is this really how we want to spend our first afternoon together?" Nacho is trying guilt now.

Lalo softens.

"No. I'm sorry. I'm just . . . Leon is . . . charming, but dangerous." Lalo is holding something back. Picking his words wisely.

"I didn't sleep with him. He invited everyone to the laundry to drink and I just saw him and Kevin in the stairwell. Accidentally. That's all." Nacho adds. He hopes Lalo believes him.

"Okay. I believe you amorcito. You'll tell me if he tries anything, okay?" Nacho nods. Lalo pulls him in for a hug. He holds him for a while, pulls Nacho's head so that it's resting on his shoulder. Nacho instantly feels relaxed. He's missed physical touch almost as much as sex. They stay like that for over a minute.

Eventually Huell returns to the cell. "Oh shit, Lalo. You're back."

They both turn toward his direction. Lalo lets go of Nacho, and hugs Huell and kisses his bald head. 

Nacho instantly feels the loss of Lalo's touch. He wanted to stay in the cell together for as long as possible. But Lalo's not just his. He's someone to everyone here.

"How's the kitchen?" Lalo asks, with his arm around Huell's shoulders. He steps out of the cell, and looks back at Nacho. He motions for Nacho to follow them, like a dog.

Nacho sighs. This is going to be a rough adjustment period.

- - - - -

Lalo starts in the kitchen. Huell takes him through their current stock, and Viktor and Ana find them. Viktor, Ana, and Nacho follow Lalo around the kitchen like nervous interior decorators watching their client walk through the renovated house for the first time, waiting for his reaction, admonition, or praise. 

Lalo seems pleased, and then they head to the commissary. It's lunch time at this point but Lalo seems uninterested in eating.

He checks through the numbers from the past two months. Nacho is really nervous now. He keeps exchanging apprehensive looks with Ana.

A full five minutes later, Lalo looks up at the three of them from the desk he's been sitting at.

"These are really good numbers." He finally says.

Nacho exhales.

"Who do I have to thank for this?" Lalo asks.

Viktor and Ana take a step back, leaving Nacho standing closest to the desk. He looks back and realizes what they've done.

Lalo gets up from the desk and approaches Nacho.

He takes Nacho's face in his hands. "You're a real wiz, you know that?" He says.

"I'm not even needed anymore! I should just go back to B block." He's walking away now, and throws his hands up in the air. 

Viktor and Ana practically jump on Lalo, effusively denying that he's irrelevant. Nacho rolls his eyes. Lalo knows perfectly well there's plenty for him to do, but of course he's fishing for praise, for reassurance.

They continue on their tour of the prison, and then Lalo hits the phone room to call Hector. 

Nacho doesn't need to, but he spends the time in the freezers weighing product and counting pills. He feels the calmest in the freezer—the evaporator creates white noise that blocks all other sound out, and he finds that it's one of the few places he can pretend he's not in prison; pretend he's back in Albuquerque just counting cash and product on a normal collection day. 

A few minutes later, Brian opens the door.

"So he's back." Brian says. He clearly came to find Nacho here.

"Yeah."

"Will I be okay?" Brian looks concerned.

"What do you mean?" Nacho is confused.

"Will he kick me out of my cell? Will I stay on kitchen duty?" 

"Why wouldn't you?" Nacho doesn't know why Brain is suddenly feeling insecure.

"I don't know. I just don't know what he'll change." 

Brian's question throws him. He didn't think his decisions could be changed. But now he realizes that Lalo could do that, and that he no longer has the final say. It seems stupid that he didn't think about it before but he thought maybe Lalo would make him his number two, like Tuco, and that he would just let Nacho run the show. He doesn't know what Lalo is like as a boss. He's never actually worked for him before. What if he's a micromanager? What if he makes Nacho second-guess every decision? He should probably have a conversation with Lalo, soon. 

"Don't worry about it." He finally says. "You're safe." Nacho's not sure that's true, but there's no point in Brian worrying about it now.

Brian looks relieved. He grabs a bag of potatoes and leaves the freezer. 

- - - - -

Nacho sits down for lunch with Ana.  Lalo still isn't back from the phone room.

Ana nudges Nacho, signaling for him to look behind his back. 

He sees Leon over by the Aryan table. He's talking to Joe. That's weird. Are they working together? Leon is Black and maybe Latino, Nacho's not sure, but not exactly the Aryans' preferred business partner.

Leon suddenly looks up and meets Nacho's gaze. He flashes Nacho a smile. Nacho quickly looks away, his ears burning. Leon seems to like to target Nacho with these little private moments that no one else can see. He turns back to Ana.

"What the fuck?" Nacho doesn't like this development.

"What the fuck indeed." Ana echoes, worry on her brow.

Nacho feels a big hand slap his back.

"Dang, who died?" Lalo asks, sitting down.

"It's nothing." Nacho says, giving Ana a look. At this point Leon has walked away from the Aryans' table and Nacho doesn't want to ruin Lalo's first day back.

Ana picks up on Nacho's plan.

"How are we celebrating?" She asks, smiling now.

Lalo grins. "Party in my cell. Bring your best drugs."

- - - - -

They all pack into Lalo's new room. It's smaller than his old one but he doesn't have a roommate yet so there's enough room for most of them.

Lalo is putting on a good show. He spends most of the afternoon working the room; telling stories from the lockdown, from his time in B Block, from his hearing, and then some from his pre-prison days. Nacho is trying to keep up but Lalo's drinking like a fish. At some point Leon stops by to pay tribute, and drops off a bottle of moonshine. 

Lalo makes a big deal about the gift, clearly he either forgot what Nacho told him or he doesn't want Leon to think that he's suspicious. Leon doesn't say anything or even look at Nacho and leaves fairly quickly. 

Nacho switches his toilet wine for moonshine and actually works up a buzz. He forgets what Brian said to him earlier and his concern about working for Lalo and starts leaning into the night. He's excited Lalo's back, even if that means things will change.

They break for dinner, and then return to Lalo's cell to continue drinking. Nacho smokes and watches Lalo do a line of what looks like coke off his windowsill. 

It's nearing 8pm and Lalo's focus shifts to Nacho. He's not been ignoring him all night but he hasn't been paying attention to him either. Nacho's just been enjoying talking with Ana and Lucas, and Brian for a bit when he stopped in.

Nestor and Lucas leave as if on cue to go fuck in their cell. A spot opens next to Lalo on the bed, and he motions for Nacho to sit next to him. Nacho goes to him automatically, like Lalo has a string attached to his body. 

Nacho sits down, and Lalo puts his hand on his thigh while maintaining his conversation with Ana. Nacho zones out for a while, just listening to the disparate conversations flowing in the cell. He tries to drink more but Lalo takes the cup from his hand and sets it down. Obviously he wants Nacho's dick to still work later. 

At some point Lalo puts his arm around Nacho's back, and pulls him in closer. More people trickle into the room to pay tribute and Nacho can feel him growing inpatient beside him. It's 8:30 now, almost 8:45. Lalo's grip is growing tighter, his knee bouncing up and down. Lalo hates being a bad host, but is also very clearly desperate for some alone time with Nacho.  When 8:45 hits Lalo gives up on being polite.

"Alright, this was fun, really. I love you all, but get the fuck out." He turns his head to the crook of Nacho's neck and breathes in deeply. Everyone catches his drift and quickly grabs their shit and leaves. 

Nacho's a little too fucked up to be embarrassed, and is instead incredibly turned on by Lalo's demonstration of power. 

"Finally" Lalo says, as the last person leaves the cell. He pushes Nacho back on the bed, and crawls over him.

"I've wanted to fuck you since lunch." He says.

Nacho groans when Lalo grabs his own dick through his pants and then rubs his hard dick on Nacho.

"I don't think I can." Nacho says, reluctantly. If he could he would.

"I know." Lalo says, bending down to kiss Nacho's neck.

Lalo suddenly grabs Nacho's wrists and pins them above his head.

Nacho's breath catches.

He gets close to his ear.

"Can I fuck your mouth Nachito?" 

Before he can answer Lalo dives in for a searing kiss. Nacho moans into Lalo's mouth, and Lalo bites his bottom lip. Lalo still has his hands pinned above his head. He feels vulnerable, but in a way that makes his dick jump and head swim.

"Yes." He says, tentatively. He's never given head before, and doesn't know if he'll be any good.

Lalo releases his hands. He grabs Nacho's neck, and pushes his chin up.

"You're so good for me." He says, and softly bites Nacho's neck. "So good for me. So delicious." 

Lalo flips them around so Nacho's on top of him now. Nacho's unsure of what to do. Lalo is usually in control. Lalo gently pushes him down toward his dick. 

Nacho is confronted with Lalo's crotch. He slowly unzips his pants.

"There you go Nachito, be a good boy and suck it." He says. Nacho balks a little at how crude Lalo is being, like he's some sort of prostitute. He suddenly wonders if this was how he talked to Carlos. 

He pulls Lalo's dick out and starts stroking it with his hand.

Lalo's head falls back and his eyes close.

Nacho's received enough blow jobs in his life to know what comes next.

He licks the tip of Lalo's dick. Lalo almost screams, but muffles the sound with his arm.

"Oh fuck Nachito, come on, put it in."

Nacho puts it in his mouth, and tries to mimic the feeling he's experienced before.

He bobs his head up and down, and starts sucking.

"Oh fuck amorcito." Lalo repeats.

Okay, this isn't that hard.

Nacho uses his other hand to put pressure on the base of Lalo's dick. He starts sucking more intensely now. The taste of Lalo's dick isn't bad, kind of salty. But after a while it just tastes like spit.

Lalo's hand reaches to the top of Nacho's head, pushing him down further. Nacho almost gags, but pulls up. 

Nacho looks up at Lalo. He's breathing heavily; clearly enjoying himself thoroughly.

Nacho is surprised at how turned on he is while giving head; he feels powerful giving Lalo this much pleasure. His dick is leaking precum in his pants, and he starts touching himself.

"Nacho look up at me when you take it." Lalo commands.

Nacho does as he's told. He bobs up and down on Lalo's dick while maintaining eye contact with Lalo. 

Lalo's hands are on his own head now, tangled up in his hair. 

"Oh fuck amorcito you're so hot like this. I wish I could take a picture; oh fuck. I'm getting close."

Nacho is glad. His jaw is starting to hurt.

Nacho decides to give it his maximum effort, get as close to his gag reflex as he can and suck Lalo deeply.

"Oh fuck oh fuck Nacho I'm going to cum. Stop stop stop." Lalo suddenly says. He grabs Nacho's shoulders and pulls him up and then pushes him roughly onto his stomach. He very abruptly pulls Nacho's pants down. Nacho gets scared for a moment that Lalo is going to fuck him but then feels Lalo's dick bouncing on his ass. A few seconds later Lalo grunts, and cums on his ass cheeks. He feels unmistakable wetness. Lalo is rubbing his cum into his ass now with his dick, just like he did in the showers. 

"Jesus fucking Christ Nacho. Your ass looks so good like this. With my cum on it." He's trying to catch his breath. 

Nacho is both shocked and not shocked that he ended up with Lalo marking him up by the end of the night.

Nacho's still hard, but doesn't want to get cum all over Lalo's bed. He tries to rise and Lalo uses his shirt to wipe Nacho's ass, but it's still sticky. He'll have to clean himself later.

Nacho is on his hands and knees on the bed, and Lalo grabs his dick from behind, and starts stroking him. Nacho's head falls to Lalo's pillow. He lets Lalo stroke him like this, as if they're fucking and Lalo is getting him off while pistoning into him. 

"Come for me amorcito. Come for papi." He says. Nacho almost loses his erection.

"Fuck Lalo don't say that." Lalo doesn't stop.

"Come for me." He says, without missing a beat.

Nacho releases into Lalo's hand. 

Nacho groans, and falls flat onto the bed.

Lalo chuckles.

"You seemed to like it." 

Nacho hates that his orgasm gave him away. 

"You're not my dad."

Nacho can't believe he has to say that out loud.

Lalo moves to kiss Nacho gently on the head.

"No, but I can be."

Chapter Text

Lalo taps the code into the keypad: 3136

The lock mechanism releases, and he pushes the heavy, reinforced door open. He grabs his overnight bag and enters. 

The air smells of cumin, and there's a fresh bouquet of flowers in a vase by the door. Lalo smiles thinking about Nacho receiving the delivery earlier today. He loves to be romantic, even ten years later.

He's been gone for two weeks touring through Salamanca territory: Juarez, Oaxaca, Tijuana. He has to do this at least twice a year but it never gets easier, being apart from Nacho and Manuel. 

Manuel comes running down the hallway with his arms outstretched and a piece of construction paper in his hands. "Dada!" He yells. He's four now, and has chosen drawing as his newest obsession. Lalo has had to buy construction paper and crayons in bulk. 

Lalo's heart thumps in his throat. He missed him too much, the distance almost unbearable. He called every night just to hear Manuel's voice, and to check on Nacho. 

Lalo picks Manuel up, "what's this?" He asks excitedly. He loves encouraging Manuel's creative side.

"A picture of you and daddy!" He yells. He puts Manuel down and gives the paper a proper inspection now.

"Ay dios mío this is so good mijo. You're a true artist!" Manuel smiles and runs back to the kitchen, where Nacho is probably cooking. There is no greater feeling to Lalo than coming home to Nacho and his son, with the smell of food cooking in the kitchen and the knowledge that he has no where to be the next morning. He's tried to reduce his travel as much as possible, preferring to handle matters over the phone unless it absolutely has to be taken care of in person. He's a family man now.

He steps into their open kitchen. He spared no expense in designing their home. He splurged for the best appliances, the most expensive backsplash, and the best home security money could buy. The compound itself is 40 acres, and it takes 15 minutes just to drive from the country road to the house. It's inconvenient but worth it. Lalo wouldn't be able to leave them otherwise, knowing they could be at risk. 

Nacho has his back to the door, and he's standing by the counter cutting fruit. Lalo takes a moment to admire him; admire his strong back, his beautiful ass, even his triceps as they flex when handling the knife. He loves this man with all of his heart. When he came out at 20 he never imagined a life of domestic bliss, a stay-at-home husband, a child. Those things weren't in the cards for him, and he wasn't sure he would want it anyway. But Nacho changed him. Prison changed him.

Nacho turns around finally. "Lalo, oh, I didn't hear you." He says. His whole demeanor changes--he's suddenly relaxed, relieved to see Lalo. 

"Thank god. Manuel was driving me crazy."

Lalo chuckles. Nacho is an amazingly patient father, but even he has his limits.

Lalo takes dad duties while Nacho finishes dinner. Manuel has around 50 pictures to show him, of varying creatures, portraits of the three of them, pictures he drew of the house. Lalo feels guilty that Manuel doesn't have other kids to play with, that he's homeschooled on the compound. Nacho was opposed to the idea at first, but Lalo explained that he himself was homeschooled and loved it; that it's safest for all of them this way. Nacho made him promise to reconsider when Manuel turns 5, insisting that he'll turn out weird if he never attends a real school. Lalo let the comment go, admitting to himself that he was probably a little bit weird because of it.

They eat dinner together, and Manuel quickly loses his attention span and they let him watch Blues Clues while they finish eating. When Manuel was born Lalo and Nacho vowed to never let him watch tv--insisted that he would only read and make art and music; that he would be a genius by the time he was six. But the daily reality of parenting quickly changed their minds.

When they finish Nacho takes their plates to the sink. Lalo finishes his drink at the table, and thinks again about Manuel being lonely, of him being an only child. He and Nacho have talked about having a second kid, but he hasn't gotten Nacho to agree to a timeline.

He gets up and hugs Nacho from behind while he washes the dishes. 

"Manuel is lonely." He says, rocking them back and forth.

Nacho leans back into him. The separation has clearly been hard for both of them. The sex they have the night Lalo returns from a long trip is always electric--like the sex they used to have in the beginning. 

"Is Manuel lonely or are you?" Nacho teases. Lalo has been hinting at wanting another kid for a few months now. He's brushed it off so far. He feels like he just got the hang of this parenting thing and doesn't want to make his life harder with a baby quite yet. But in theory he agrees; he never wanted Manuel to be an only child like he was. It was so lonely, especially after his mom died. He thinks that if he had had a brother or sister it would have been easier. He would have had someone other than his father to discuss his pain with.

"I'm serious . . . I think we should start trying. Tonight." Lalo says, kissing Nacho's neck now.

He feels an erection beginning in Lalo's pants. 

"Lalo . . ." Nacho says. If Nacho isn't careful he will end up pregnant tonight just because he's desperate for Lalo's cock. 

"Come on cariño. It's perfect timing. We've been talking about this for a while now. And I've been fantasizing about you pregnant with my child again. Remember how much fun we had?"

Nacho does indeed remember. His pregnancy was a powerful aphrodisiac for Lalo. Seeing Nacho pregnant with his child made Lalo's possessiveness and paternal instinct combine in a way that heightened his sex drive and protectiveness to an almost unbearable degree. He had to have Nacho everyday, sometimes multiple times a day. He reveled in how Nacho's body changed, and worshiped him. He took such good care of him that Nacho thinks back on his pregnancy fondly, despite the morning sickness and swollen ankles.

Nacho's dick begins to respond. He's held out on Lalo for so long.

"Ok."

"Ok he says." Lalo chuckles. Lalo loves when Nacho gives into him, gives into his desire. He remembers their courtship fondly. Nacho was the most difficult and most satisfying man he's ever had the pleasure of taming. 

They detach quickly, knowing that bedtime isn't for another hour and they need to cool things down before they lose control. Manuel once walked in on them and asked why they were fighting and Nacho had to spend 30 minutes trying to convince him that they weren't. 

They settle on the couch together, all three of them. Manuel between them holding both of their hands. Lalo and Nacho made a point to be affectionate with Manuel and to show affection to each other in front of him. They both grew up in households where men weren't encouraged to touch each other or show their love physically and don't want Manuel to suffer like they did. As a result they have an extremely affectionate four year old, who seems to have to be touching one of them all of the time.

As soon as 8:00pm hits Lalo stands up and volunteers to put Manuel down for the night. He usually gets a bath and a bed time story before falling asleep. 

Nacho appreciates his industriousness, but knows that it's not entirely unselfish. 

"I'll see you in the bedroom." Lalo says with a wink, while holding Manuel in his arms and turning up the stairs. 

Nacho's stomach stirs. He's definitely going to end up pregnant by the end of the night. He makes himself a drink, and heads up to their bedroom.

He lays on their bed and reads his book, grateful for a moment of peace for himself. Manuel is at that age where he wants constant attention from Nacho. He thinks that a second child would be nice, actually. They could keep each other entertained.

He looks up when he hears the door click open.

"I had to read him three stories tonight. It's getting harder and harder to put him down." Lalo looks tired.

"Welcome to my life." Nacho says.

"Hopefully this next one will take after you more. Because Manuel is all me."

"Hyperactive, expressive, and strong-willed." Nacho says.

Lalo smiles, and crawls onto the bed toward Nacho.

"Mmmm yes. Definitely strong-willed." He pulls Nacho's legs so that he's suddenly flat underneath him. His book goes flying.

"Let's make a baby." He says, diving in for a passionate kiss.

*************

The lights turn on. Lalo groans. He hates when his dreams cut off right at the good part. He takes a moment to parse through his dream and reality. He sees a bunk above his head and realizes he's still in prison, and he and Nacho aren't married, and it's not possible for him to get Nacho pregnant. He often has vivid sex dreams, but that one was really vivid, and it felt real, almost like an alternate reality. Does he have a pregnancy kink? Or does he just like the idea of being domestic with Nacho? There were parts of that dream that he actually wants to make a reality: a compound, Nacho living with him, being able to come home to him. As the minutes pass the details of the dream fade from his brain, and the only thing he can really remember is feeling like he really really wanted to fuck a baby into Nacho. 

- - - - -

Lalo gets to breakfast first, and is eager to get some food and coffee to cure his hangover. Last night was fun, but his head feels like lead and he's still slightly nauseous. Nacho soon arrives. He takes one look at Lalo and heads straight to the breakfast line, anticipating Lalo's need to be taken care of. 

Lalo sits there and feels relaxed, content even. He was far more nervous about his chances of getting back to the C-suite than be let on last night when he was telling his stories. There was a significant chance that his appeal was going to get denied. He had to pay HHM an absurd sum given all the lobbying they had to do outside of the courtroom to make that happen. He worried about Nacho the entire time; and in the last few weeks actually grew depressed, barely getting out of bed most days. Words fail to describe the way he felt when Howard told him that he was going back to C-suite. 

But he's back, and that's all that matters. Nacho is his--finally really and truly his. And the business is intact and the Aryan threat is extinguished. What more could he want aside from freedom? Maybe it's the alcohol still in his system, but he's feeling grateful this morning. It's amazing what the promise of regular, ridiculously satisfying sex can do to his mood.

Nacho sits down with two trays. Lalo pulls him in and places a chaste kiss on his temple. Nacho looks a bit freaked out for a second, looking around to see who is watching but relaxes when he sees that no one particularly cares. Lalo makes a mental note to slowly acclimate Nacho to PDA.

They eat breakfast in relative silence. When Lalo thinks about his dream he instinctively places his hand on Nacho's inseam, and Nacho doesn't move it or reposition himself. He's imagining fucking Nacho in the showers later, or after rec in his cell, and maybe also in Nacho's cell after dinner. He wonders if Nacho will let him fuck him without a condom. The thought stirs Lalo to arousal. Lalo hasn't fucked raw since the 80s. But maybe they could . . . he doesn't doubt that Nacho is safe. And Nacho isn't going to fuck anyone else, he's going to make sure of that. Maybe he should go to the infirmary and ask for a test . . . Yeah, that's what he'll do. Just to be safe. And then they can work on that baby. Lalo smiles to himself. He's always amused when he finds another kink; they're so numerous at this point. He'll spend rec thinking about Nacho, counting down the minutes until they can be alone in the shower. Nacho, Nacho, Nacho . . . he can't wait.

Nacho works out for two hours and then spends the last hour relaxing on the bleachers with Huell. Lalo is off socializing, chatting people up. That seems to be their dynamic: Lalo the extrovert and Nacho the introvert. He feels more at ease today than he has in a while. He and Lalo got out most of their sexual tension yesterday, and it seems like Lalo is prepared to treat him as an equal after everything that happened. The Aryan threat has been dealt with, and now they can just be together. 

Nacho notices that Brian and Leon are playing basketball together. Leon seems to be showing Brian how to improve his shooting stance, or something. Nacho didn’t know they were acquainted. He sees Brian laugh at something Leon said. He hasn't seen Brian laugh . . . in . . . well ever. 

He spends a good amount of time watching them. He’s thinking about yesterday—what it could mean that Leon and Joe are talking. He doesn’t realize how long he’s been looking in Leon's direction until Lalo walks over to him.

He quickly shifts his gaze.

”See something you like?” Lalo asks.

Huell senses danger and makes an excuse to leave the bleachers. Smart man. 

“No. I was just checking on Brian.” Nacho lies. Plausible enough.

Lalo seems suspicious but lets it go for now.

He takes a seat and wraps his arm around Nacho’s backside.

”I was watching you work out.” He says, in the deep octave that makes Nacho ache somewhere deep inside.

Nacho’s body responds instantly. He knows that when rec time ends Lalo becomes horny thinking about what they could do in the showers later. Nacho is starting to have the same Pavlovian response.

”Yeah?”

”Yeah. Why don’t we see if I can find that spot you like. I want to make you cry.” 

Nacho’s bones turn to liquid. Lalo really knows how to reinvent sex with his words. 

“Hm? Does that sound good?” Lalo wants Nacho to verbally respond.

“Yes.” Nacho manages to utter. He doesn’t know how he’s going to make it from the bleachers to the showers without an erection.

“See you there.” Lalo says, leaving Nacho to calm himself on the bleachers alone.

Nacho has to sit for five minutes before he can get up.

- - - - -

He arrives in the showers with towel in hand. 

Lalo comes in shortly after, and smiles when he sees Nacho rinsing himself off.

He undresses and walks up behind Nacho and begins softly kissing the back of his neck.

”Mmm you were so good last night Nachito.  A real natural. Who knew you were so skilled.” 

Nacho preens, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks. He surprised even himself last night with how adept he was at giving head. 

”Yeah it was great until you called yourself Papi.” Nacho jokes. 

Nestor walks in the showers at the same time and snorts.

“Papi.” He repeats.

Lalo takes offense. “Nestor you can’t tell me you don’t make Lucas call you Daddy every night.”

Lucas of course is right behind Nestor and chimes in. “He wishes.” 

Nestor grabs him now, and puts him in a headlock. “Come here, I’ll make you call me Daddy.”

Lalo turns back to Nacho now, ignoring their antics.

”Come on mi amor, you loved it.”

Nacho swats Lalo’s hand away. 

“I didn’t. It makes me feel weird.” He says.

Lalo frowns.

He wraps his arm around Nacho’s front, undeterred, and embraces him.

”Okay. I’ll stop.”

His takes his right hand and feels up Nacho’s ass now.

”How do you feel?” He asks.

Nacho knows Lalo is desperate to fuck him again. 

“I don’t think I can take you yet.”

”That’s okay.”

Lalo is kissing Nacho’s neck again.

”We should probably keep you stretched out though.”

Lalo’s finger finds Nacho’s hole.

Nacho checks to see if Nestor and Lucas are out of sight. They’re gone now.

Lalo puts his hand on the front of Nacho’s neck, and applies some light pressure.

”Let me take care of you.” He says.

Nacho releases all control now. He loves when he can just turn his brain off when he’s with Lalo. There are very few times, if any, he feels safe enough to do this.

Lalo breaches him with his finger.

Nacho feels uncomfortable until Lalo finds his prostate.

Nacho clenches around Lalo’s finger when he feels a spike of pleasure.

”Mmmm you’re so responsive mi vida.” He hums.

He proceeds to stimulate Nacho’s prostate, and uses his other hand to stroke Nacho’s dick. Nacho has his eyes closed, and is leaning back onto Lalo’s chest with his head resting on Lalo’s shoulder.

Lalo is doing all the work. Nacho doesn't know if he'll ever want to cum without Lalo inside of him again. He knows for sure that Lalo has ruined him sexually; that he'll never feel fully satisfied with anything less intense than this for the rest of his life. 

Nacho reaches a hand back to grasp Lalo’s neck when he feels himself get close.

”Oh fuck Lalo I’m going to cum.” He says. 

“Cum for me, show me how much you like taking it.” Lalo answers.

Nacho explodes. Lalo already knows his body so well. 

Lalo lets Nacho catch his breath for a second and then turns him around and pushes him against the shower wall. His erection is prominent. Nacho moves to touch Lalo, to get him off, but Lalo pushes Nacho down onto his knees.

”Let me cum on your face.” He says, half a question and half a statement.

Nacho’s not sure how he feels about that.

”Look up.” Lalo says, stroking his dick over Nacho now. Lalo has him caged into the wall so that if he wanted to get up he would have a hard time.

Lalo looks about two seconds from combusting and Nacho makes the split second decision to let him do it.

”Oh fuck mi vida I’m going to cum on your face. Mark you up. Make you mine.” He says.

Nacho stays still, waiting for Lalo’s load. He feels his dick come back to life. He likes this; likes Lalo marking him up, likes when he comes thinking about possessing Nacho, likes Lalo's little games. He had no idea this could be part of sex. He always thought sex was just sex. Mechanical, and nothing more.  

He releases onto Nacho’s cheek and mouth with a groan. Nacho grimaces. He's glad they’re in the showers and he can quickly rinse it off.

“Oh fuck amorcito. You look so pretty with my cum on you.”

Lalo keeps his hand on Nacho’s shoulder and looks at his handiwork. Nacho stays still, putting himself on display for Lalo. 

”Mmm mine.” He says, wiping his cum off of Nacho’s mouth.

He finally lets Nacho stand up.

”Am I just constantly going to be covered in your cum?” Nacho asks, washing it off his face, the horniness fading from his body and the reality of what just happened sinking in. 

”Yes. Preferably.” Lalo retorts, grabbing soap and watching himself off.

”Great.”

- - - - - 

It’s Sunday and Nacho has an extra large load of dirty laundry to do, especially now that Lalo is back and there’s bodily fluids all over his clothes and sheets. Lalo is napping in his cell to try to eliminate the last remnants of his hangover. 

He decides to take it to the laundry instead of waiting to send it on Monday.

He also thinks he can catch Leon and finally talk to him about his ideas for the laundry, and maybe try to suss out what’s going on with him and Joe before he brings his suspicions to Lalo’s attention. He and Ana decided to gather more intelligence before bringing it up to Lalo. 

He’s not nervous about being around Leon alone anymore, now that Lalo is back. The only reason he felt anything for him was because he was facing the reality that Lalo may never come back. He was just a fleeting crush.

He makes his way downstairs with his bag of clothes and puts the load into the washer. He brought a book with him but decides to try to find Leon while he waits.

He takes a lap but can't find him anywhere. He settles in with his book. He'll try again later.

When he's changing his clothes from the washer to the dryer he sees Brian and Leon walk into the laundry together. Jesus, they're like inseparable now?

They don't see him and walk toward the back of the laundry room. He decides to follow them when Viktor walks in.

"Hey. I found something." He says.

He told Viktor to check the administrative office for any sign that Leon or Joe were doing anything weird.

"Leon's met with his attorney three times in the past week. And it looks like some BOP officials." He says. 

That's abnormal. He knows that Leon is here on some sort of drug and racketeering charge. Why would he be meeting with BOP officials?

They both look at each other. "Informant?" 

"That's what I was thinking." Viktor says.

"That would explain why he's cozying up with Joe, and tried to merge with us." He's not trying to make a move on their business, he's trying to make a move on Lalo, and other government targets. Exchanging information for a shorter sentence.

Oh shit, Brian. Nacho turns his head. Brian shouldn't be too friendly with an informant, and Brian isn't smart enough to realize that Leon may be trying to extract information from him about Lalo.

He can't see them anymore, but he heads toward the back of the laundry room where the lights don't really work and there are a few machines that no one uses in the shadows.

"Brian?" He calls.

He steps into the darkness and his eyes adjust. He sees Leon pushing Brian up against the side of a washing machine, kissing him and feeling up his torso. Brian's hair is mussed up, and Leon has one of his arms pinned up against the machine.

Nacho freaks out. He did not risk his life to get Brian out of one bad situation and into another. And he's pissed that he ever liked Leon. He's a fucking rapist just like Anders, just like the rest of them.

He grabs Leon's shoulder and roughly pulls him of Brian, and pushes him as hard as he can out of the way. "Don't fucking touch him." He says.

"What the fuck?" Leon reacts, realizing its Nacho.

"Nacho." 

Nacho turns. Brian has his hand on his shoulder. "Nacho I'm not being raped." He says.

Nacho is confused. Brian . . . is doing this willingly?

"What?"

"I'm not being raped Nacho. I, uh, I like Leon." He says, looking down.

Nacho takes a second to process this information. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah, Nacho. I'm not a rapist." Leon says, cocking his head and looking hurt. Nacho notices that he has an erection. He moves back toward Brian and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"We were just having fun."

Nacho is suddenly very embarrassed at his actions. He feels uncomfortable, and like he just committed a huge social faux pas.

"Sorry, sorry. I just . . . I didn't know." Nacho grabs his own arm. He doesn't know what to say.

He settles on "have fun" and then awkwardly walking back to the dryer, feeling his skin burning.

Well, Leon certainly gets around.

As he's walking with his laundry bag up the stairs, Brian runs over to him.

"Nacho!" He yells.

Nacho turns.

"I'm sorry you had to see that."

Nacho brushes it off. "It's fine. I'm sorry I assumed."

"No, I appreciate it. You've been such a good friend to me. But really, I'm fine. Leon has been nice. Really nice. Not like Anders. He's being patient with me." He says. 

"That's good to hear." Nacho looks up and sees Leon telling Viktor some story. He's probably an informant, but at least he's not a piece of shit.

"Just be careful okay. Don't tell him anything about the business." He says. He'll tell Brian more later, when they're in private.

"Ok." Brian says with a confused look on his face. "I won't."

- - - - -

Nacho finds Lalo awake waiting in his cell when he returns.

"Movie after dinner?" He asks. 

"Sure."

They spend the rest of the afternoon reading in Nacho's cell.

Lalo gets up at some point, and smokes a blunt.

He settles back into his spot next to Nacho, and turns to him.

"What do you think about moving into my cell?" He asks.

Nacho puts his book down.

"You want that?" 

"Yeah, of course." Lalo leans in and starts kissing Nacho's temple, cheek, and lips.  

"24/7 access to you? That's my dream."

Nacho bristles at the thought. He likes Lalo but he also likes his own space. He's never lived with any of his romantic partners before.

Lalo stops kissing him, and looks at Nacho's face now, realizing that Nacho hasn't said yes.

"Why, don't you want to?" Lalo seems to assume that Nacho would automatically say yes.

"I . . . I don't know Lalo. We already spend so much time together, and we're trapped in prison. I mean it be nice to fuck after dark, but I think I need some space." He says, not holding back his honest thoughts.

Lalo's face betrays his hurt feelings.

Nacho tries to backtrack. "It's only because we're in prison. You know, the cell is small. Do you really want to smell my piss all night?" 

"No, I get it Nacho. You're not ready. Silly me, for thinking we were." 

Nacho rolls his eyes now. Lalo is trying to guilt him into submission.

"Lalo, come on. I think that's reasonable." 

Lalo gets up from the bed now.

"Yeah, sure. Reasonable. I have something to take care of. I'll see you at dinner." He says, emphasizing the word. He's playing hurt now. He leaves without saying anything else, probably to go sulk in the freezers.

Nacho sighs.

They only lasted 24 hours before they fell into old habits. Nacho wishes things could be easier, that they weren't always stumbling into conflict.

Despite the ever growing list of things Nacho needs to talk to Lalo about, he finds himself wondering if Lalo likes to have angry make-up sex.

- - - - -

Lalo is quiet at dinner. He doesn't seem angry anymore, just upset. Nacho tries to grab his hand under the table and Lalo lets him hold it briefly, but shrugs him off fairly quickly.

Still pissed.

After dinner, they take seats next to each other to watch Top Gun. Nacho saw it in theaters and liked it, but thought it was a little gay for a war movie.

As the movie starts he notices Leon and Brian enter and sit down near the front. Leon pulls his chair closer to Brian's and he sees Brian smile. It's so weird seeing them together; too weird for Nacho. He never thought Brian would willingly have sex with anyone in prison. And Leon? He seems to have a type. Young, pretty, a little slutty. He hopes Brian is okay with sharing.

He leans back in his chair, having missed at least 10 minutes of the movie.

He notices Lalo has slightly canted his body towards him, and Nacho turns to see that Lalo is looking at Brian and Leon and then turning to look at him, signaling that he noticed Nacho staring again. His eyes are narrow, like he's already jumped to conclusions in his head.

Shit. Nacho had stupidly thought they were past the jealousy stage. 

Lalo stands up, and grabs him by the arm, and pulling him up too.

"What?" He hisses at Lalo.

"Shut up!" a bunch of inmates yell at them.

"Let's go." Lalo says, dragging Nacho toward the kitchen.

Lalo drags Nacho through the cafeteria, into the back area, and then pushes him into the kitchen, by the tables where the vegetables are cut.

"What the fuck is going on with you and Leon." He says. He's as angry as Nacho has ever seen him.

"Nothing, Lalo, I promise." Nacho's calmness seems to trigger something in Lalo.

"Don't patronize me Nachito. You've been staring at him all day. What happened when I was gone?" He's in Nacho's face now. Nacho can see his face is slightly red.

Nacho moves backward and hits the table, trying to put some space between him and Lalo.

"I already told you. He propositioned me, I said no, and then he was fucking some other guy the same day. He's just a player."

"Well you seem upset that he's with Brian. Are you attracted to him?" 

"Come on Lalo." Nacho rolls his eyes.

A few of the kitchen staff walk into the kitchen to clean.

Lalo looks frustrated, and drags Nacho by the arm into the freezers for some privacy.

"Huh?" Lalo asks again, blocking the door now. Nacho is again pressed up against the table in the freezer, trapped in Lalo's interrogation room.

Nacho suddenly realizes how he can redirect Lalo.

"Not nearly as much as I'm attracted to you." He says, trying to appear tempting.

Lalo's eyes bug a bit, and he makes a quick mental calculation, and then decides to jump Nacho.

"This conversation isn't over." He says, biting Nacho's lip and pressing him into the table. 

Nacho was right. Lalo can't resist being goaded into sex.

He lifts Nacho up onto the freezer table and settles in between his thighs. Nacho thinks about how he can check sex in the freezer of the bucket list he made in his head when Lalo was gone.

"You're mine and only mine." Lalo says, kissing Nacho with a passion reminiscent of their first kiss. 

Nacho knows Lalo wants him to repeat it.

"Yours. Only yours." He says. He reaches down and cups Lalo's erection. He's fully hard. Nacho loves that he can give Lalo that reaction whenever he wants to.

Lalo gasps. He pulls Nacho off the table, and turns him around, pushing his back so that his torso is flush with the table. He grabs his hips and pulls them out a bit, so that Nacho's ass is fully on display, as if he's preparing to be spanked.

"Lalo." Nacho says. He knows where this is headed and doesn't know if he can take it.

"Nacho." Lalo says in return, undoing his pants and pulling them down to his ankles. He boxes Nacho in with this body so he can't move.

"Be good for me." He says into Nacho's ear. He can feel Lalo pull his own pants off behind him. 

Nacho's resolve fades. Lalo already has a one-way ticket to his ass; there's no stopping him now.

Lalo gets on his knees and starts eating Nacho out.

Nacho moans, and catches his knees before they buckle.

Lalo is so good at this. He licks, and then fucks Nacho with his tongue. Lalo seems to be enjoying it just as much as Nacho by the sounds he's making behind him.

"Fuck Nacho I love eating your ass.” He grabs Nachos’s ass with both hands and manipulates the cheeks, dramatically licking one last stripe from top to bottom. 

Nacho bucks his hips a little.

Lalo stands up and Nacho hears Lalo take out and rip open a condom wrapper. Nacho holds his breath.

He lines his dick up with Nacho's entrance, and breaches him. Nacho is still stretched out, but the burn is more pronounced given their recent activities.

"Cariño you feel so good; so tight and wet. I want to cum inside you. I want my cum deep inside of you."

Nacho takes his own dick in his hands and begins to stroke to alleviate the pressure.

"Yes. Fuck me." He says. He's getting used to the burn. 

Lalo starts fucking Nacho hard; harder than he probably should. Nacho doesn't protest, but he reaches back and grabs onto Lalo's ass, trying to get him to slow down a bit.

"Lalo" is all he can manage to say. 

"You're mine Nacho. Do you understand that? You're mine forever" he says. Nacho realizes that Lalo is still upset from earlier, when he said he didn't want to share a cell.

"You'll live with me--in my compound."

"What?" Nacho says back, realizing this isn't just sex talk.

"Yes. You'll be there when I get home. You'll take me every night. I'll cum on you, in you, every night. Just you and me."

Nacho starts to push back, but Lalo grabs one of his arms and twists it behind his back, pinning him to the table.

"Be good, Nacho." He says. He releases Nacho's arm and maintains a light grip on it. Nacho could get out if he wanted to.

"Say red if you're red." Lalo says.

They had a conversation after their encounter last night where Lalo told him about the red, yellow, and green system for sex. Nacho had never heard of that before, but agreed to use it with Lalo. 

"Green." He says back.

Nacho can admit to himself now that Lalo holding him down, pushing into him, or manhandling him makes him unreasonably hard. 

Lalo growls, and grabs Nacho's hips, being particular now about thrusting in a way to stimulate Nacho's prostate.

Nacho could come at any moment. He is so overstimulated and needs release. He grabs his dick and strokes himself. One, two, three, four strokes later and he's shooting onto the floor. Lalo hasn't slowed his pace, and is deepening his thrusts now. He's clearly chasing something.

He pulls out of Nacho, which makes him groan.

He lifts him up again, and places him on the table. It's awkward at first but Lalo finds a way to pull Nacho slightly off the edge so he can stick his dick back in. 

"Nacho grabs his shoulder, pulling them together. 

"I'll take care of you. And your dad." He says. "I'll take care of your whole family."

Nacho can't believe Lalo is trying to have a real conversation while he's actively fucking him.

"Lalo . . . I . . ." Nacho doesn't know what to say. He's been living in this fantasy world with Lalo that only exists in prison. He hasn't thought about their relationship functioning on the outside before.

"Don't." Lalo says, kissing him. He's doesn't want to hear no. 

"Hold on." Lalo says, pushing Nacho so that his back hits the cold metal table.

Nacho grips the edge of the table, and let's Lalo chase his release with his body.

Lalo fucks Nacho with a renewed anger, almost to the point where Nacho has to say red, but his rhythm starts faltering, and Nacho knows he's close.

"I want to fuck a baby into you." Lalo says, with his eyes closed.

For a second Nacho thinks he almost misheard him, the thought so foreign, but then he continues.

"Going to cum inside you later, with no protection. Going to make a baby. Get you pregnant." 

Lalo has said a lot of weird shit to Nacho, but this one is definitely the weirdest.

Lalo pumps into Nacho one more time, and releases with a groan. His brow is covered in sweat and he collapses on Nacho in exhaustion.

"Fuck, that was incredible." He says.

Nacho sits up, pushing Lalo off him. Lalo complies, and pulls out of Nacho. He takes the condom and throws it into a nearby trash can, and grabs a paper napkin and cleans himself up. Nacho jumps off the table, and pulls his clothes back on.

Nacho looks at him, waiting for an explanation. Lalo seems to have forgotten that he just told Nacho he wants to get him pregnant. 

"What?" Lalo asks.

"Uh, a baby? What the fuck?" 

Lalo smiles. He grabs Nacho in his arms, holding him tight.

"I have to tell you about my dream . . ."

Chapter Text

“How do you know my dad’s name?” Nacho asks. They’re in Lalo’s cell now, laying side by side on his bed. Lalo just finished telling Nacho about his dream. Nacho made him repeat parts of it over and over, as if hearing it a second time would make it make sense.

”Huh?” Lalo has his hand on Nacho’s thigh, and he’s lightly caressing it. They're both tired. Too tired to fight about Leon or the fact that Nacho doesn't want to share a cell with Lalo.

”The kid, Manuel, that’s my dad’s name.”

Nacho can’t believe how realistic Lalo’s dream was—down to Nacho wanting to name his first born son after his dad. How did he know that? Nacho has never seriously thought about having kids, and certainly hasn't thought about being a stay at home dad, but the idea of living in a beautiful home and being able to provide everything to his future child does sound . . . ideal. Nacho likes that this fake dream child, his fake dream child, would have a better life than he did.

”Oh. I don’t know, that’s weird. I must have just picked it at random.”

Nacho lifts up onto his elbows, and looks into Lalo’s face to find a hint of a lie.

”Did you spy on me?” He asks.

”Spy on you? What? Why?” Lalo scoffs.

Nacho falls onto his back again.

”I don’t know, you were really intense when I first got here. You—you know—like said I was yours or whatever before I even knew who you were and figured out that I worked for Tuco and everything.”

Nacho’s mention of Tuco reminds Lalo that he needs to talk to him about Nacho. He grimaces.

”No I didn’t spy on you to find out your dad’s name Nachito. I don’t know how my brain did that, I promise.”

Nacho believes him, despite how fucking weird it all is. Nacho has never believed in fate, or even soul mates, but his relationship with Lalo is starting to strain his grasp on a reality where these two things don't exist.

”Why did you choose me?” Nacho asks. He suddenly realizes that he’s never asked or been given an adequate answer.

Lalo laughs. “Do you want the real answer or the fake one I make up right now?”

”So you were just horny.” Nacho’s turns his body toward the wall so they're not touching anymore.

”A little bit. But I also watched you, saw that you were brave, that you were different. I saw potential.” Lalo leans in behind him.

”You saw my ass.”

“I love your ass." Lalo says, and then kisses Nacho on the temple.

"I will be the first to admit what I did was stupid, rash, claiming you like that. But if I didn't act someone else would have, and I couldn't take it. I had to leap.” Lalo is on his elbows now and touching Nacho’s arm. “But you very quickly stole my heart, Nachito. Proved that you were so much more than what caught my eye." Nacho falls back so he's shoulder to shoulder with Lalo once again.

"There must have been a part of me that knew I wanted you, knew I needed you, very early, maybe too early. I’ve never felt this way before. I was so scared of losing you to the Aryans. I’ve never been so scared or so reckless before.”

The air hangs heavy between them.

“This . . . thing between us has been really intense for me. I’ve been playing catch up with you this whole time. And I haven’t been able to consider my own emotions. I just need more time.” Lalo realizes Nacho is talking about his offer to share a cell now.

”That makes sense. We don’t need to rush. Just think about it, take your time. But I want you to know that I don’t think this is just a prison thing. I think that even if we met outside, we would be drawn together.”

Nacho feels a lump in his throat. He’s had that thought too.

”It was a dumb sex dream but my feelings were real. I want to be with you, Nacho. Maybe forever.” Lalo is staring intensely into Nacho’s eyes.

Nacho doesn’t know what to say so he admits what he does know.

”I was scared too. That day.” This is the first time they’ve talked about what happened during the lockdown.

Lalo takes Nacho’s face into his hands now.

"I really didn't know that I was worth anything to you, before then." 

"Well now you know." Lalo responds.

A few second pass before either says anything, both of them holding their breath waiting for the other to speak first.

Nacho breaks first. ”I would sit in your room, with Ana, and read your books and pretend you were there.”

“I would try to remember every detail of your face. Every detail of your body each night before I fell asleep.” Lalo says, trying to match Nacho's energy.

”I missed your smell.” Nacho admits. 

“My smell?” Lalo looks surprised.

”Yeah. It’s comforting to me.” Nacho holds back the fact that Lalo smells slightly like his dad, not wanting to fuel the "Nacho has daddy issues" allegations.

”Mmmm I missed everything about you. I grew depressed, stayed in my bed all day before I knew I was coming back.”

“Oh so you were lonely.” Nacho retorts. He’s been trying to figure out if Lalo fucked anyone else while he was in B block; been weirdly fixated on it.

”Is someone . . . being possessive?” Lalo is grinning now. He’s moves so that he's fully on top of Nacho.

”No.”

”Nacho how many times have I told you not to lie.”

”I didn’t have sex with anyone. They were all gross anyway.” Lalo adds.

Nacho rolls his eyes.

”Annnnd I only have eyes for you.” He says, prodding Nacho in the sides of his stomach.

Nacho reacts like he's being tickled. “Okay okay, I get it.” He says, wriggling out of his grasp. 

The 15-minute warning goes off. Nacho gets up from the bed and grabs the book he’s been reading from Lalo’s shelf.

”Sweet dreams Nachito.” Lalo says.

Nacho grins, and heads to his cell.

******

At breakfast Nacho lets Lalo kiss him good morning.

"Did you have any sweet dreams, Nachito?" He asks, with a cheeky grin. 

"Uh. Not really. I think I had a nightmare." Nacho sometimes has these dreams where someone turns into a big black spider, and tries to eat him. Last night that person was Lalo.

Lalo frowns.

"Oh, sorry. Maybe tomorrow night."

Yeah, maybe.

At rec, they spend most of it playing chess together. Nacho decides to take a rest day, and Lalo is happy to have someone to play with that actually knows the rules. Nestor usually just moves the pieces around at random and gets frustrated when Lalo corrects him.

Their game is interrupted when they hear a shout. Nacho finds the source first. Joe is trying to pull Brian by his shirt, trying to get him to sit down at the Aryan table. He gets him by the waist, and pulls him onto his lap.

Are they messing with Brian again? Nacho thought this was over, but realizes that he hasn't been paying much attention to him lately, and has no idea if he's been traveling alone or being harassed. 

Nacho stands up, and he sees Lalo stand up too. He tries to find where Viktor and Nestor are. They'll need reinforcements. 

Before he can locate them, he sees Leon walking from the basketball courts to the Aryan table with five of his guys. Nacho waits, letting the confrontation unfold.

Joe doesn't notice him at first, so Leon taps him on the shoulder. At this point Brian is sitting at the table and Joe has his arm around him. Brian is flinching.

Nacho can't hear what's happening, but Joe looks scared when he finally notices Leon. It's like watching a silent movie. Leon says something to Joe. Joe makes some exaggerated arm movements. Leon steps closer. Joe puts his hands up, signaling surrender. Leon looks at Brian, and says something. Brian gets up. The Aryans let him go. Brian looks relieved as Leon puts his arm around his shoulder and leads him away.

Nacho sits back down.

"Well. Looks like they're official." Lalo says. He seems relieved, probably because he can worry less about Leon making a move on Nacho.

Nacho nods. He's glad Leon is willing to protect Brian, but he's slightly worried about what this means for Brian's freedom. Things tend to happen quickly in prison, and he doesn't want Brian to get in over his head. He’s also worried about Leon’s ability to extract information from Brian now. He still hasn’t told Lalo about that.

"I think I'll skip the showers today." Nacho says, turning back to their game.

Lalo looks a little pissed, but doesn't protest.

"Okay Nacho."

Nacho knows that if he goes to the showers Lalo will try to have sex with him and he will, of course, be too turned on to say no, and he's still sore from last night. It was rough—probably too rough for his second time, and he needs to let himself rest. He also wants to start exercising boundaries with Lalo, in the hopes that they can build a real relationship that doesn't scare him so much; doesn't make him think that Lalo is a big spider that's going to eat him.

"I was going to visit you in the library today. Can you pencil me in?" Lalo asks. 

"Sure, Lalo."

Brian sits back on the bleachers. Leon is sitting next to him, looking around the yard. He's still on edge, prepared for a counter attack.

"You okay Brian?" Leon says, turning to him.

"Yeah. Thanks." 

Leon turns back to the courts and leans back, relaxing finally.

"I need you to stay close for a while."

"Yeah. I don't feel safe alone." Brian shivers. Joe had been harassing him for the past couple of days. Sending him gifts, threatening him. He didn't want to bother Nacho but he was starting to get worried. And then this thing with Leon started happening, and he thought maybe Joe would take the hint. 

"What did he say to you?" Leon asks.

"You know, the usual stuff. That I needed to be taken care of; that I wasn't safe with anyone outside my race. That he has a big dick, or whatever. I don't know I've just been tuning it out."

"He's brazen. Doing that to you in the yard. He's starting to act like he's in charge." 

"Yeah. Anders definitely isn't coming back. He’s barely alive. And Devon’s appeal was denied." Brian thought the Aryans would leave him alone. There’s other, newer white guys to bother.

"You need to shower?" Leon asks, in a neutral tone.

"Yeah. I've been avoiding the showers for a couple of days because of Joe. I smell." Brian says, sniffing his armpits.

"Shower with us." Leon says, looking straight ahead. Brian doesn't pick up any hints that Leon is planning on jumping him. Brian knows that Leon likes him, and that Leon is attracted to him. They've made out twice, once in the laundry room when Nacho caught them and once before in Leon's cell. But Leon hasn't mentioned anything about exclusivity, or laying a claim on him. Maybe he doesn't want to freak Brian out after Anders, or maybe he never intends to make their relationship official? Brian has heard that Leon fucks around a lot. But Leon jumping in there to save him must mean something, right? He's not even in his crew. When Leon told Joe to fuck off he didn't say it was because Brian was his, he just told him that if he touched Brian again he'd lose an eye.

He feels like he's in a limbo, kind of under Leon's protection and kind of under Nacho's but not really safe either way. The worst part is that he actually likes Leon, and wants Leon to like him back. He feels free when he's with him, almost like he's not in prison, almost like the last two months never happened. And Leon is so beautiful. He has a hard time looking at anything other than his eyes, or his arms, or his smile. When Leon smiles, when he smiles at Brian, he goes weak in the knees.

"Sure." He says. 

Lalo showers alone after rec. He tries not be upset; tries not to read too much into Nacho not wanting to shower with him. He thinks back to Carlos. He did whatever Lalo wanted, without question: twice a day, in the showers, in his cell, in the kitchen. He reminds himself that he likes that Nacho is difficult, that he’s got his own agenda, that he’s his own man. He likes the chase. If only he could chase Nacho onto his dick. Lalo groans, the boredom of life in prison without sex starts to creep in. He has to distract himself.

After his shower he heads to the phone room to make some calls. He’s been seriously thinking about starting construction on a compound like the one in his dream. He owns property, many properties, but not a home. He wants to buy acreage, and put a house in the middle. Maybe some stables, so he can ride his horses everyday when he’s home. He’ll keep a staff 24/7 to maintain the grounds. Something nice, really nice. For him . . . and someone else. Or just for him.

He dials Howard. He'll have to move some money around.

- - - - -  

Lalo heads to the library. It’s almost 12:30, and Nacho will be off his shift in two hours. His stomach is already rumbling for lunch. 

He walks in, and sees Nacho talking to Gretchen. Nacho spots him and smiles.

Lalo wants to respect Nacho’s work, get in his good graces so he takes his time to select a book and heads over to Gretchen’s desk and politely checks it out.

”Don Quixote” Gretchen says. “What a wonderful book. 

Lalo smiles big. “You have good taste Gretchen. It’s one of my favorites, I like to read it yearly.”

”Wow! Quite the bookworm Mr. Salamanca.”

”Oh please, call me Lalo.”

Gretchen blushes. Lalo knows how to turn on the charm, and for whatever reason older women find him particularly enchanting. 

He looks over and sees Nacho watching them with a grin. He winks at Nacho, and takes his book to a table to read. He makes sure to sit where he can see Gretchen and the door at the same time.

Nacho goes about his tasks, and Lalo maintains a watchful eye, not wanting to miss his opportunity. 30 minutes later, like clockwork, Gretchen nods off at her desk. He sees that the old men are still on book return. He gets up, quietly.

Nacho is reshelving behind a shelf facing the window. Perfect.

He stalks him, watching him through the opening in each bookshelf as he glides over. 

He turns the corner, and Nacho sees him. 

“Lalo don’t.” He says, as Lalo pushes him backward.

Too late.

Lalo has Nacho backed against the library wall, and is leaning over him with his hand by Nacho’s head.

”Looks like we’re alone here Nachito.” Lalo purrs, and strokes Nacho’s cheek.

”No we’re not.” Nacho tries to move his head around his body to see if Gretchen is asleep.

”She’s asleep. We have at least half an hour.”

”John could come in at any moment.”

Lalo redirects Nacho’s gaze back to his face with his chin.

”We’ll hear him come in.” He says.

He wraps his right hand underneath Nacho’s ass, and glides his thumb over Nacho’s bottom lip.

”Come on. Give me some sugar.”

Lalo can see that Nacho is making a decision in his head. He’s so close to getting what he wants.

“Fine but be quiet.” Nacho says.

Lalo chuckles. Good boy.

Lalo leans in to kiss Nacho, the possibilities of what he can get Nacho to do in public spinning through his head like a gameshow wheel. He suddenly remembers that this was one of his first fantasies about Nacho when he first saw him. 

He feels Nacho reach for his zipper, and loosen his pants. He sticks his hand down Lalo’s pants, and grabs his member. Bingo. Hand job it is. 

Lalo moans quietly into Nacho’s mouth. The kissing is helping him stay quiet. Nacho bites his lip, and starts pumping.

Lalo uses his hands to touch Nacho’s ass, and manages to get one hand underneath his pants. He wants to finger him but it’s too hard from this angle. He settles on feeling him up. He could do this for hours; Nacho’s ass is so perfect. Perfectly proportioned to his body, muscular, with some extra fat on it to make it bounce. A man could really make himself home in it. Lalo is getting closer thinking about sinking himself into Nacho’s ass later tonight. He hopes Nacho isn’t too sore. He feels bad that he was so rough last night, he realized after the fact that it was only Nacho’s second time.

Nacho whispers to him. “Are you close?”

”Always, for you, amorcito.” He’s not lying. Nacho turns him on so much that he alternatively could fuck him for hours and cum in two minutes flat.

Nacho speeds up his rhythm. Lalo suddenly thinks about the cleanup. How is he supposed to cum in these conditions? He should have brought a rag. 

It’s too late now. He thinks about someone walking in on them, with him bearing down on Nacho, with Nacho’s hand on his dick, jerking him off. How small Nacho would look underneath him, and he almost explodes.

”I’m going to cum.” He says to Nacho, warning him.

”Ok.”

Nacho suddenly leans down, and takes the tip of Lalo's dick into his mouth. He strokes one, two, three more times and Lalo shoots into his mouth. Nacho takes it like a champ, and licks Lalo clean. He leans back, wipes his mouth with his forearm, smiles at Lalo almost smugly, and then walks away, leaving Lalo standing with his dick out, panting.

Lalo’s jaw is slack. He can’t believe Nacho just did that for the first time, so casually. He realizes he’s been standing there too long and quickly zips up his pants. 

He laughs. What a man.

Nacho has walked over to the entrance, and John has finally returned from book return. Lalo decides to head out, and Nacho smiles at him as he leaves. “See you later Mr. Salamanca” he says, unabashedly. Lalo smiles back. “Yes, thank you for those recommendations.”

As he walks out he thinks about how Nacho will be tasting him on his tongue for at least another hour and grins to himself.

He heads straight to the infirmary to get tested. He can't wait to fuck Nacho raw.

After lunch he meets Viktor and Ana in the kitchen. Nacho soon joins them. He takes reports from each of them. Nacho tells Lalo that he wants to start running product through the laundry. Lalo listens to his pitch; it's well thought out, detailed, and likely to be profitable. Lalo is impressed. Nacho is smart, practical, and creative. He would be an asset to his inner circle on the outside. Lalo feels like he got a two-for-one deal at the supermarket.

Viktor goes next, and tells him about the Leon situation. 

"We think he's an informant." 

"An informant?" Lalo cocks his head. Leon doesn't seem like the type.

"Yeah, he keeps meeting with his lawyers and some BOP officials. We think he might be feeding them information." Nacho adds.

"Should be eliminate him?" Lalo asks.

"No. Not yet." Nacho jumps in.

"We aren't sure, we need to gather more information. For now we should just be cautious."

Lalo thinks its curious that Nacho is pleading mercy. Is that normal for him, or does he care about Leon for some reason?

"Okay." Lalo says. He'll let this play out. Plus he wants Nacho to see that he can respect him, that they can have a "normal" relationship or whatever Nacho is always whining about.

"Okay." Nacho says back, looking relieved, like he thought he would have to fight Lalo more. See, Lalo can respect boundaries. Nacho doesn't know what he's talking about. 

Nacho smiles at him.

Yeah, he's totally getting laid tonight. 

Brian is cutting carrots in the kitchen. He's always in the kitchen. This duty is no joke. They work more than anyone else, and the pay is shit so it doesn't even matter. He wishes he had his infirmary gig back. That was a sweet deal; kind of gross sometimes but mostly uneventful.

The shower wasn't a trap, thankfully. Leon didn't even shower next to him; he left him alone in the corner by himself. He did protect him, like he promised. He had his guys create a human blockade so that he could relax and not keep one eye on the door. It was nice.

Brian is grateful, but he's also not sure why Leon is doing all of this for him. He doesn't seem all that interested in having sex with him. He still can't tell if he's being respectful because of what happened with Anders or if he just feels bad for him.

Maybe he'll have to make a move on Leon. Maybe that's what he's been waiting for, to make sure Brian wants it. He could do that.

He heads into the back of the kitchen to throw the carrot shavings into the compost pile.

He almost jumps when he hears his name behind him.

"Brian. . ." 

He turns around. It's Leon.

Brian clutches his chest. "Oh Jesus Leon I thought you were Joe or something." He says.

"Oh shit, sorry." He walks into the room, and plucks Brian's hair net.

"Cute"

Brian suddenly feels self-conscious and pulls it off.

"What are you doing here?" Brian asks. Leon's usually in the laundry at this time of the day.

"I came to see you." Leon says, twisting the string of Brian's apron through his fingers. He's looking down like he's trying to draw Brian in.

"Oh." Brian says. "Do you need something?"

"Mmmm you could say that." Leon says, in a fake bashful tone.

Brian is starting to pick up hints. Leon finding him randomly while he's alone, in the middle of the day with nothing going on, looking coy like he wants Brian to figure it out so he doesn't have to say it out loud? He wants something. Brian knows what it is.

"Do you want to have sex?" Brian's lost his sense of shame around sex since the thing with Anders. He's been going to therapy with Melissa once a week and they've made huge progress on his ability to speak about what happened to him. He grew up in a Catholic household that never talked about it. 

Leon pretends to be shocked. "Brian how could you ever . . . think that I would want that?" 

Brian rolls his eyes. 

"I mean, if you're offering . . ." Leon pulls him in by the front of his apron, and wraps his arm around his waist.

"Freezers?" Leon asks, with a smile. 

Brian smiles back. He and Melissa have also been working on Brian being able to tell when he actually wants to have sex or when he just wants to make someone happy. Right now its both.

"Sure."

Lalo is waiting in his cell, and it’s nearing 8pm. Nacho said he would meet him after dinner, around 7. He puts his book down and sighs. If they roomed together this wouldn’t be an issue. He gets up, and paces the room. He decides Nacho needs to be reminded who he belongs to.

Lalo goes on the hunt. He finds Nacho in Nestor’s room.

Nacho is having an intense discussion with Nestor and Lucas and clocks Lalo standing in the doorway, but resumes talking. Lalo decides to stay and listen. He knows Nacho is trying to set up the laundry business. He trusts Nacho to see it through, and doesn’t have any interest in micromanaging. 

At some point Nacho finishes, and the three men appear to be done for the night. Nacho leans back on the bed, just shooting the shit. Lalo’s frustration peaks. He steps into the cell now. 

“Nacho.” He says. Nacho looks up at him.

”Let’s go.”

Nacho slowly rises, and Lalo extends his hand to help him get up. Nacho takes the offer, and lets himself get pulled up. 

Lalo gently pushes Nacho out the doorway, and they head toward his cell. Lalo keeps his arm on Nacho’s shoulder as they walk. He has this thing where right before they have sex he has to maintain contact or eyesight on Nacho at all times, in case he sneaks away or someone tries to steal him. Lalo knows its psychotic but he gets really possessive, like physically possessive, right before and after sex. 

As they get closer, Lalo’s sexual aggression grows inside his chest. He wants to throw Nacho over his shoulder and carry him to the bed like he’s a prize he won on the battlefield. He restrains himself for now, because he knows that Nacho would kill him if anyone saw. 

They get past the guard tower and Lalo thinks he can get away with it at this point; he can’t help himself any longer. 

He stops Nacho, who turns back toward him.

“What?” 

Lalo squats, and lifts Nacho over his right shoulder, so he’s ass up in the air. There’s only a few feet to Nacho’s cell.

“Lalo.” Nacho says, in surprise.

”Lalo put me down.” He’s trying to wriggle out of Lalo’s grasp but the hallway is narrow.

”Ah ah ah Nachito. Don’t want to fall to your death do you?” Lalo pats Nacho’s ass twice.

Lalo is really turned on thinking about depositing Nacho onto his bed and ravishing him.

Huell isn’t in the cell. Good man.

Lalo delicately places Nacho on the bed. His face is a mixture of anger and anticipation, as usual.

Lalo dives in and unzips Nacho’s fly. He’s already half hard, probably from being carried like a doll.

”Why did you do that? That was so embarrassing.” Nacho’s voice gets high-pitched when Lalo takes him in his hand.

”You were taking too long, and I needed you. If we roomed together you could do whatever you wanted before lights out.” He says, right before taking Nacho into his mouth.

Nacho releases a groan, and weaves his fingers into Lalo’s hair.

”Ok well I was coming with you. I don’t know why you have to act like such a cave man. What if someone saw? I can't look weak.”

Lalo moans and then releases his dick, and then strokes Nacho's dick with his hand. “You love that I’m a caveman. It gets you hard, thinking about me fighting other guys for you, thinking about me being jealous and protective. You love when I pick you up and throw you around.” 

Nacho’s mouth opens to protest but then shuts again. He knows Lalo is right.

Lalo takes Nacho in his mouth again. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall backward. Lalo takes some lube from his pocket and wets his finger. He finds Nacho’s sweet spot and sticks a finger in. Nacho moans. 

“You gonna let me fuck you?” Lalo asks. He has one finger deep inside Nacho now, and another gripping the base of his dick.

Nacho has his hand over his eyes, feeling totally overwhelmed by pleasure.

He raises his head and opens his eyes to look at Lalo. 

Lalo slips a second finger in and stimulates Nacho’s prostate.

“Ohh fuck.” Nacho whines, biting into his forearm.

”Want me to fuck you?” Lalo asks again. 

“Yes, fuck me.” Nacho finally says.

Lalo chuckles. “Good boy.”

Lalo cuts off any potential "don't call me that" talk by taking Nacho all the way into his mouth. Nacho was not prepared for that level of sudden pleasure and starts mumbling curse words. He’s turned to puddy in Lalo’s hands.

“Oh fuck that feels so good.” Nacho says. Lalo wants to make him cum like this. Return the favor from earlier.

”Cum in my mouth.” Lalo is looking up at Nacho from below.

”Oh fuck ok.”

Lalo returns to his work. He sucks Nacho deeply, and fucks him with two fingers. He’s relentless in his quest to get Nacho off. 

Nacho’s breath becomes strained above him.

”Lalo I’m going-”

Lalo goes deeper.

”Lalo” is the last thing he hears before feeling Nacho’s cum shoot into his mouth. He stills, letting Nacho fully release. 

Lalo swallows, and then pushes himself up with his arms. 

Nacho is completely spent, like a rag doll. He pulls his pants off of him and then his shirt. He turns Nacho over, and quickly undresses. He wish he could speed up time so that he was inside Nacho now. He can't believe he gets to fuck him whenever; he's the hottest man he's ever been with. So masculine and so submissive all in one package. 

He pulls out a condom and some more lube and sticks a finger back inside him. Nacho groans below him. 

”I’m going to go slow this time.” Lalo says, wanting to reassure Nacho that he doesn’t intend to leave him sore every time they fuck.

”Ok.” Nacho replies. He’s pretty sure he would agree to anything at this point, still riding the high of his orgasm.

Lalo sticks a second finger in, and starts scissoring. Nacho is fairly loose at this point but Lalo has the patience tonight to make sure Nacho is ready for him.

He takes his time, fucking in and out of Nacho with his fingers. He starts moaning below him when his dick returns to working order.

Lalo adds a third. Nacho has lifted his hips up a bit and started stroking himself again.

”Lalo I’m ready.”

Lalo wants him to beg.

He keeps fucking in and out with his fingers, and then takes one out and curves two so that he hits Nacho’s prostate but doesn’t fully stimulate it.

”Lalo please.”

”Please what?” Lalo is in the mood to tease him. Lalo has put so much work into Nacho, and hearing Nacho beg for him would be the sweetest song in the world. 

”Please.”

Lalo stills his fingers, wanting Nacho to say the words. Nacho tries to move his hips back so that he can fuck himself on Lalo’s fingers but Lalo pushes his hips down with his other hand. Nacho groans in frustration.

”Please fuck me.” He finally says, admitting defeat.

“Say it again.” 

Nacho leans up on his elbows now, and rubs his forehead in frustration. He looks back at Lalo.

”Please, Lalo, fuck me. Fuck my ass.” Nacho says, wiggling it enticingly. 

Lalo’s vision blacks out. He wasn’t expecting that.

He pulls his fingers out, and takes his dick in his hand. He’s so ready to be inside Nacho at this point. He breaches Nacho’s rim, and has to stay there for a second or he might prematurely ejaculate. Nacho goes still below him. Lalo hears him breathe deeply.

A few seconds pass and he’s finally ready. He pushes the full way into Nacho in one smooth motion. Nacho moans below him, and Lalo bites into his left shoulder.

He wraps his right arm around Nacho’s neck and chest, so that Nacho is fully enveloped by him. 

Nacho grabs his arm with his hand and starts kissing his forearm. 

Lalo begins to fuck in and out of Nacho. Slowly, languidly, but with control.

”Fuck mi vida. I could do this forever, just you and me, fucking forever.”

”Yes, fuck me Lalo.” He takes Lalo's thumb into his mouth.

”I want to cum inside you, mark you up. Watch it drip out.” Lalo says. 

Lalo bucks his hips a bit more at the top, so that Nacho can really feel him now.

”Do you want that? For me to fuck you bareback?”

“Yes.”

”I took a test today.” Lalo says. “Could do it soon.”

”Ok.” Nacho says. He’s having a hard time forming words now.

”Been wanting to feel you. Fill you up, mark you for real.”

Lalo starts fucking Nacho in earnest now. Not too rough but with a purpose.

”Yes, yes, yes.” Nacho is urging him on by pulling his arm closer to his chest.

"Yeah?”

Lalo lifts Nacho’s hips up a little bit, to find his prostate. Nacho shouts. Lalo is so good at that.

”Yes, fuck me d-“ Nacho stops himself.

”Fuck me what?” Lalo says, stilling himself before he hits the same spot again.

Nacho sighs. He knows he’s opened Pandora’s box now.

”Fuck me daddy.” Nacho releases, unable to say anything other than what will get Lalo to hit that spot again.

Lalo’s brain explodes a little.

”Fuck Nachito.”

”Fuck me daddy.” Nacho repeats. Lalo loses it. 

He hits the same spot, with a renewed fervor, and Nacho is stroking himself below him. He so wants to make Nacho come again. Especially after that. Jesus Christ he's going to masturbate one million times to Nacho saying "fuck me daddy." 

“Cum for me baby.” He says, his head leaning on Nacho’s spine as he tries his hardest to hit the ball of nerves in Nacho’s ass. He feels Nacho buck underneath him and release a gasp. Lalo feels accomplished. He wants to try to make Nacho cum three times in one night next.

”You’re so good at that. So good at cuming for me.” Lalo kisses Nacho’s back, and rubs his lower back. He pulls out, and lets Nacho catch his breath and then lifts his hips up, so that Nacho is on his hands and knees now. Lalo has to get off the bed to line himself up, so he can fuck him doggy style.

In this position they have absolutely no privacy though, and Lalo is glad that Nacho has a corner room, but Huell will be back any second so he decides to make it quick.

He reenters Nacho, who is so relaxed from two orgasms that it’s no issue. Lalo thinks about Nacho calling him daddy and him fucking Nacho raw and only has to pump five or so times before he shoots deep into Nacho’s guts. He feels tingly from his head to his toes.

He laments the condom keeping a barrier between them and slowly pulls out of Nacho, who collapses on the bed. Lalo cleans himself up quickly and grabs a towel and helps Nacho clean himself off, and remove the stain from his sheets. He kisses Nacho on the mouth, and then heads out. The 15 minute warning is due any moment.

”Wait.” Nacho says.

Lalo turns. 

“You can move in.”

Lalo smiles.

”I’ll make the arrangements.”

Chapter Text

June 7, 2010.

Lalo is cooking dinner, and singing along to the radio when he hears a beep signaling that a garage door was opened. He smiles, and continues cooking.

A few minutes later he feels a hand wrap around his chest and a chin rest on his shoulder.

"Did you miss me?"

"Only every second." He says. 

Nacho kisses the back of his neck and Lalo instantly relaxes.

"I can't let this burn."

"Yes you can." Nacho says, pulling him away from the stove. Lalo lets himself fall into Nacho's embrace.

Nacho drags him to their bedroom by the hand. He wanted to wait until after dinner, but this way he'll be able to eat and drink as much as he wants later, so he rolls with it.

Nacho pushes him backward onto the bed. He smells the fresh sheets. Yolanda made sure the house was sparkling before Nacho's return today.

"How did it go?" Lalo asks, while watching Nacho undress.

"Good. Viktor was right, there's opportunity in Canada."

"Mmm great." Lalo sits up, and kisses Nacho's chest. Nacho unbuttons Lalo’s shirt, and pulls it off him.

Nacho grabs his face and redirects it towards his eyes.

"Let me fuck you?"

Lalo grins. "Of course cariño. I know what you like." If a business trip goes well, Nacho usually wants to top when he gets back, something about successful negotiations that makes him feel dominant. Lalo always obliges. He knows that Nacho will want Lalo to fuck him on the kitchen table, or in bed, or over the couch the very next morning.

Lalo takes Nacho's hand and puts it on his throat. "Come on big boy. Show me what you got." 

Nacho grins and Lalo's erection grows. He knows he's going to feel it tomorrow.

Present Day

"You guys had sex?" Ana practically hisses at Brian, when Brian returns to their room Monday night.

"Yes." He says, blushing.

"Oh my god. . . Are you okay? I mean I know you said that you wanted to but I didn't think it would happen so soon."

"Yeah, me neither." 

"Were you ready?" Ana and Brian have been talking about the possibility of Brian and Leon having sex for the past couple of days, discussing it ad nauseam. Ana has been patient with Brian, really patient. She's been willing to lose sleep to stay up late so that Brian can vent. Ana can't help but act like a mother hen. She's been through similar experiences, and knows how harsh prison “relationships” can be.

"I think so. Yeah. I mean, I don't regret it. And I was able to stay inside my body pretty much the whole time. At the end I dissociated a little bit, because he left pretty quickly, but other than that it was good."

"He didn't stay?" 

"No, we were in the freezers, and I had to finish prepping for dinner. Not the most romantic circumstances."

Ana looks disappointed.

"You need to tell him that he has to stay, and make things special for you. He can't treat you like one of the guys in his rotation.”

"Yeah, and I also don't feel comfortable with that." Brian adds. He doesn't like the idea of Leon fucking Kevin or Jack whenever he can't get access to Brian.

"Listen. Talk to him sooner rather than later, before you fall in love with him or something and can't pull yourself out. Been there before." 

"Yeah. I will. I'll try."

Ana smirks. "Was it good at least?"

Brian turns his head, trying to suppress a grin.

"Yeah. It was. He's really good with his hands."

He thinks about riding Leon on the floor, and Leon jerking him off onto his chest. He's never cum like that before, with someone inside him. Leon made sure he was relaxed and ready to take him even though they only had 20 minutes. He made him feel like his pleasure came first, and that he didn't care if they ran out of time.

"Oooh. I love that for you. Hey did he ask you anything, about Lalo, or about the business?" Ana asks.

"No . . . why?"

"Uh nothing. He made Nacho an offer to merge before Lalo came back, and we're still trying to figure out if he wants to expand. Nothing major." Ana says casually.

"I haven't heard anything. Should I ask him?"

"No. No. Don't ask. Everything is fine."

"Okay." Brian says, feeling like everything is not fine.

"Just enjoy it, okay. Some of us aren't having sex and wish they were." 

Brian laughs. Being a lesbian stuck in a men's prison is truly a cruel twist of fate.

"Oh I will." He says.

The lights turn off.

Nacho wakes up. He can't remember if he dreamed or not.

He remembers that this might be his last day in the cell with Huell. He broke the news to him last night, after Lalo left. Huell said he didn't care, that he would enjoy having a cell to himself for a while and get away from the crew. He's grown tired of walking in on Lalo and Nacho or having to steer clear of the cell because they're fucking or fighting. Nacho feels less bad after that. Huell deserves a break.

When Huell leaves for breakfast duty he gets the sudden urge to jerk off. He hasn't since Lalo got back. Lalo seems to have an insatiable sexual appetite. Nacho has a high sex drive too, but twice a day, everyday? He doesn't know if he can keep up. He wonders if Lalo will calm down at some point.

He climbs back into his bed, and takes himself into his hand. 

The first thought that pops into his head is sex from last night. Did he really call Lalo "daddy"? Nacho isn't sure what happens to his brain when Lalo starts touching him but it's like he becomes a different person, someone willing to do or say anything to get Lalo to make him cum. Lalo has some sort of magic dick or something because his orgasms are the strongest when Lalo is drawing them out of him. And he's addicted to the feeling Lalo gives him when he whispers things into his ear during the day, touches him under the table, looks at him a certain way, or corners him in the library. Or lifts him over his shoulder. Jesus that was so out of line last night. Why does he let Lalo get away with that shit? 

Nacho realizes that he's hard. That's why.

Lalo is like a drug for his system; he's addicted, and would do anything to get his next hit.

He contemplates sharing a cell with Lalo. The things they could do with more privacy and more time. He remembers when Lalo pinned his arms above his head. He wants him to do that again. He also wants to hold Lalo down and ride him. Be in control of the pace, take his time. Lalo is always in control, which is hot, but he knows there's a part of Lalo that would enjoy letting go too; being strung along. Nacho feels his orgasm building. He wonders if Lalo would let him hit him. God he would love to slap that man sometime. He thinks about riding Lalo and choking him, really letting his aggression out, and Lalo enjoying it, egging him on, and he spills into his hand. His whole body relaxes, and dopamine floods his system. 

This new living situation might be a good idea after all.

- - - - -

When Nacho gets to breakfast Lalo is writing something down in a little notepad.

"Hey how do you feel about claw-foot tubs?" He asks when Nacho sits down.

"Claw-foot tubs? What the fuck is that?"

Lalo rolls his eyes.

"Ok, you don't care." He crosses something out.

"Do you favor neutral or bluish tones?"

"Uh, what?" 

"Brown or blue?" He says, obviously frustrated with Nacho's lack of taste.

"Uh, brown?"

Lalo circles something.

He puts the notepad away, without explanation. 

"Uh okay." Nacho says. Lalo ignores him when he sees Viktor walk in.

Lalo looks at him with expectation on his face.

"I think I can make it happen by today." He says to Lalo.

"Great."

“Make what happen?” Nacho interjects.

Lalo turns toward Nacho, and rubs his shoulder.

Oh. 

Lalo looks at Nacho with a shit-eating grin. "I'll start packing."

- - - - - 

Nacho spends rec playing pick up games. Lalo is casually watching from the sidelines, but mostly talking to people.

Brian and Leon make their way to the court. They challenge Nacho and Nestor to a game.

They start with Nacho covering Brian, because they’re closer in size, but quickly realize that Nacho and Leon are the best players and Nacho switches to cover him. He sees Lalo paying attention from the sidelines.

”Your man is watching.” Leon teases Nacho, dribbling on the half court line. Brian and Nestor are by the hoop out of earshot.

”Yeah, so.”

”Does he know you like me?”

Nacho scoffs. “Just play, man. I’m not doing this with you.”

“I see you looking at me. Me and Brian.” 

“I’m just looking out for Brian. That’s all. It means nothing.”

At this point it’s obvious they’re taking too long to put the ball in play and something is going on.

Nacho tries to steal the ball from Leon but he dribbles it between his legs and evades Nacho’s arms.

”You know what I want.” Leon says. “I know you’ve figured it out. Fuck me or give me dirt on Lalo, or I’ll tell him we fucked while he was gone.” Leon spins, and passes Nacho, whose feet stay planted in spot. Leon takes it in and hits the shot.

Jesus. What a snake. Nacho forfeits and walks off the court, making a show to touch and hug Lalo from the bleachers. But inside Nacho is worried. He should tell Lalo immediately; should trust Lalo to trust him. But something holds him back.

- - - - -

Nacho showers with Lalo after rec. They jerk each other off but Nacho doesn’t cum, too distracted thinking about Leon’s threat to finish. 

After rec he heads to writing class. Abe is there with the latest draft of his book for Nacho to read. He spends the class leaving comments on the pages. Abe’s spelling is worse than his.

After class he meets Lalo for lunch. Lalo asks him for his opinion on wallpaper, a question Nacho never considered before and doesn’t know how to answer. Lalo looks pissed, and the suddenly says “adobe” in an excited tone and gets up and leaves the table.

Nacho has no idea what is going on with Lalo, and he may never know.

He gets Ana in the freezers and tells her what Leon said. 

“Jesus Nacho what are you going to do?”

”I don’t know. Lalo is already suspicious of me and Leon and he might believe him over me, and kill me. He would also kill Leon so I don’t think it’s a totally full proof plan but obviously Leon doesn’t realize that.”

“We have to tell him.”

Nacho grabs her by the arm as she tries to leave and find Lalo. “Wait.”

”Just give me a little bit of time to figure this out.”

”Nacho this isn’t going to end well.” Ana looks worried.

”I know.”

- - - - -

Nacho returns to his cell and finds Jacobs overseeing Huell and Lalo switching places. Lalo is unpacking his extensive book collection on the windowsill.

“Bye Nacho.” Huell says, patting him on the back. 

“Bye Huell. Thanks for everything.” He really owes him. He can repay him later, when he gets out.

”Mr. Salamanca. Happy to be back on the third floor?” Jacobs asks.

Lalo smiles, and puts his arm around Nacho.

“Yes, yes I am.”

“You love birds have fun.” He says, and then leaves.

“Prick.” Lalo says under his breath, when Jacobs is out of earshot.

He turns to Nacho, and grabs his shoulders. “Ay amorcito. What should we do first?”

Nacho can think of a couple of things they could do involving his legs in the air, but what they actually end up doing is fighting over how the furniture should be arranged in the room, and if Lalo can be on the bottom bunk. They compromise by agreeing to take turns sleeping on the top bunk, but Lalo gets his way with the furniture arrangement. Nacho learns that Lalo can be very picky, and very stubborn.

He also learns that Lalo pees, a lot.

”Small bladder, okay?” Lalo says, shrugging his shoulders.

Nacho hopes he doesn’t snore.

They do their own thing before dinner.  Nacho catches Brian in the kitchen. He decides it’s as good a time as any to talk to him about Leon.

He tells Brian to be careful, that they think Leon is an informant. He leaves out the part when he propositioned him.

He’s surprised when Brian seems unmoved by the news.

”Really, Nacho?”

”What?”

”He told me you would say something like that. He told me that you like him, and that you’re jealous.”

”What?” Nacho can’t believe Brian is turning on him like this, after everything.

”Leon is a good guy, Nacho. Not like Lalo.” He says.

Jesus. Brian and Leon definitely fucked, and Brian thinks he’s in love with him now.

”He’s using you. I know he is. You’ll see.” Nacho says, defeated. He knows nothing he would say could un-hypnotize Brian. Leon has his hooks in him now. He just has to learn for himself. 

Brian pushes the freezer door open to leave. 

“Yeah, we’ll see.”

- - - - -

At dinner Brian sits with Leon’s crew. Nacho shakes his head. He’s made his choice.

Lalo seems at ease while eating. He’s usually antsy, like he’s anxious to spend time with Nacho—well really, to fuck Nacho. But tonight he doesn’t have to worry. They could fuck all night if they wanted to.

Nacho spends dinner staring daggers into Leon’s back. That fucker really thinks he can fuck Brian on the side and blackmail Nacho into having sex with him or betraying Lalo? 

He’s bold. Too bold.

After dinner Nacho heads downstairs to the laundry. He’s going to tell Leon to fuck off, that he’s not scared. He doesn’t think Leon will follow through, and he’s planning on calling his bluff.

He finds him in a supply closet that he’s converted into an office.

When Leon sees him he leans back in his chair and widens his stance.

”Mr. Varga. Nice to see you.” His hands are resting behind his head.

”Have you come to tell me something or get on your knees?” He asks, grinning at Nacho.

”Neither.”

”Oh? And what’s your plan? Duck and cover? We both know what kind of a man Lalo Salamanca is. He’s not forgiving.”

”He trusts me.”

”Are you sure about that? Do you know he tracks your calls, and reads your letters? That he’s beaten up at least three guys he thought you looked at? It’s amazing I haven’t been jumped. Why is that Nacho?”

”You’re lying.”

”That’s a really specific lie. Are you sure? Ready to bet your life on it?”

”Why are you doing this? What is so special about me that you need to blackmail me into sex?”

Leon gets up from his desk, and approaches him. He pulls the door to the supply closet closed.

“We can make this easy Nacho. You don’t have to betray him, I can get information other ways.”

”But I need something from you. Something I’ve wanted since you got here.”

He steps toward Nacho.

”Lalo got the jump on me. But what he doesn’t know is that I don’t respect the claiming system.”

”I’m not going to fuck you.” Nacho tries to open the door but it automatically locked.

“Oops.” Leon says, standing behind him.

Nacho is scared now. He’s trapped in a small space with someone who’s probably stronger than him and no one knows where he is. He looks around the room for a weapon, but doesn’t see anything sharp. He realizes that he left his pocket knife in the kitchen. Fuck.

“Leon don’t.”

He tries to stroke Nacho’s cheek but he jerks his head.

”You’re an asset Nacho. Loyal, smart, sexy. The full package.”

Nacho winces.

”I want you to come work for me, and if I have to fuck you so Lalo drops you then I will.”

“I‘ll kill you.” He says, warning Leon.

Leon starts playing with the pocket knife he pulled from his shoe. “Is it really worth losing your life?” He asks.

Fuck. How did he let his guard down this low.

”Come on now. Lalo will worry if you’ve been gone too long.”

Leon moves in for the kill. He grabs Nacho and slams him into the desk. Nacho groans in pain.

Leon takes Nacho’s hand and presses it firmly onto his crotch. Nacho tries to yank it away, but Leon holds him in place by his wrist.

”Don’t be a tease.” Leon says. Nacho hears the door knob jingle.

“Fuck off” Leon yells. 

He takes Nacho’s head and pushes him down to his knees. Nacho is trying to push Leon away when the door bursts open, breaking at the hinges.

It’s Lalo, with Ana and Viktor in tow.

Leon backs off Nacho quickly, and puts his hands up.

”Oh shit Lalo, sorry you had to see that. Nacho offered. You know I can’t say no.”

Lalo is furious. He stalks over to Nacho and Leon. Nacho braces for impact.

He expects Lalo to strike him, but instead he grabs him by the arm and pulls him up.

”Go with Ana.” He says.

”Lalo I—“ Nacho tries to explain.

Lalo looks at him sternly.

“Go.” He’s angry, but not at him.

Nacho leaves with Ana. He’s feeling shaken up and still coming down from the adrenaline. He hears Leon say something like “fish are hard to control,” and then the sound of fist hitting bone.

Nacho turns away. The less he knows the better.

- - - - -

Ana drops Nacho off in his cell, and only leaves after Nacho assures her that he’s okay.

Nacho takes all the blankets in the room and piles them on top of him. He needs weight on his chest to calm himself down; calm his nerves. He wants Lalo to come back. But he’s also scared to explain to Lalo how he ended up in that situation. 

Over two hours later, Lalo returns to the cell. Nacho notices that his knuckles are raw and his shirt has some blood on it. 

Lalo steps inside, and washes his hands in the sink. Nacho can’t tell if he’s pissed. The 15 minute warning goes off.

Lalo drys his hands, and then turns toward Nacho.

He leans down, and gets on his knees.

He reaches out and rubs Nacho’s forehead. Nacho sighs in relief.

”Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks.

A tear steams down Nacho’s cheek.

”I don’t know. I was scared. How did you know I was down there anyway?” Lalo’s timing was perfect, once again.

”Ana told me. I realized you were gone and went looking for you, and had this weird feeling like you were in trouble and that Leon had something to do with it.”

“Like magic.”

”Like magic.” Lalo repeats.

“I didn’t know if you would believe me.”

Lalo frowns.

”I know, and that’s my fault. I scared you. I’m sorry.”

”I’m loyal.” Nacho says. Tears continue to fall from his eyes.

”I know, Nacho. I know.” He wipes them away.

”I love you, Nacho.” Lalo says.

Nacho feels warmth bloom in his chest.

”I . . . love you too.”

Lalo leans in for a searing kiss.

Nacho kisses him back.

Lalo makes Nacho swear that he wants to have sex after what happened with Leon on his mother’s grave twice before Lalo spends the hour after lights out picking Nacho apart, piece by piece. 

Nacho needs this. Needs to get out of his head and get lost letting Lalo fuck him into oblivion.

After eating him out and fingering him for 30 minutes, Lalo fucks him missionary, just like their first time. He kisses Nacho’s face, his forehead, his eyebrows, sucks on his ears and whispers sweetly to him the entire time. Nacho didn’t know he was capable of hallmark channel sex. All wholesome and loving. Nacho cums between their chests and Lalo quickly follows. Lalo holds him for a while afterward, until Nacho starts nodding off.

By midnight they’re both fast asleep; Nacho on the bottom bunk and Lalo on the top. Nacho is pleased to learn that Lalo doesn’t snore, but around 1:00 am Nacho is startled awake by the sound of Lalo whimpering above him. He keeps saying “no, no, no” and some random names. Nacho gets up out of bed and sees that Lalo is twitching in his sleep. He looks so innocent like this, almost like a child. 

Nacho reaches out to touch him. He has to poke him a couple of times before he startles awake.

Lalo grabs Nacho’s shoulder when he sees him. “Fuck Nacho you scared me.”

”You were talking in your sleep. You sounded scared.”

”Oh shit. Sorry you had to see that. I don’t do that often.”

”What happened?” Nacho asks. He suffers from night terrors sometimes too, and knows they are typically caused by traumatizing events.

”Nothing. Nothing happened.”

”Oh yeah, well where did you get all those scars from? Gardening?”

“Nacho it would take all night.”

”I’m not tired.”

Lalo looks at him, trying to assess how serious he is.

”Fine but we’re starting in childhood and we’ll work up to present day tomorrow night.”

Lalo joins Nacho on his bunk and they spoon while Lalo tells Nacho what it was like to grow up in a Salamanca household. The violence he witnessed from a young age, the abuse he suffered for seeming gay. How Hector used to “toughen him up” by making him kill chickens, and at one point, cut a guy’s hand off.

”Jesus. No wonder you’re fucked up.” Nacho says.

”Wow thanks.”

”Sorry, for saying it like that. You know what I mean.”

”Yeah, I do.”

Nacho holds Lalo, holds his head in his chest.

”I’m proud of you.”

”For what?”

”For loving yourself. And for loving me. Despite all of that.”

Lalo smiles at him.

”You make it easy.”

Chapter Text

Leon stumbles out of the inventory closet and to the floor right before lights out. The guards rush him to the infirmary. His nose is broken, his arm is broken, and several of his fingers are dislocated. 

He won't talk.

Lalo decided to keep him alive to avoid another investigation, and because he was sufficiently satisfied that he would do whatever Lalo wanted after he recited the exact addresses of every single one of his family members living in the United States and Honduras. He collected the information months ago, when he first realized that Leon might be a problem. 

Leon is going to continue feeding information to the government, but it will be fake. He's never going to look at Nacho again, and he's going to run product through the laundry without taking a cut until further notice.

Lalo feels satisfied with the level of pain he inflicts on Leon that night; and confident that he can keep him in line in the future. He also plans to kill him as soon as he's released. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

******

Morning comes. Lalo wakes up, tired. But then remembers where he is. He smiles, and rolls off the top bunk. 

Nacho is still sleeping, despite the fact that the lights have turned on. He looks so peaceful, like last night didn't happen. He takes a moment to admire the shape of his nose, his jaw, and the curve of his neck.

Lalo climbs into the bed with him. Getting this moment of intimacy, getting to fall asleep and wake up with Nacho makes all the heartache and separation worth it.

He thinks back to everything Hector said to him when he came out: that he would be lonely, that he would have no legacy, and that he would never feel “real” love—the love of a woman. Lalo made Hector think that he didn't believe him at the time, that even if it was true he didn't care, but he internalized all of it. It poisoned his mind, affected the way he treated his lovers, and ruined his relationship with the only man he ever loved before Nacho. He feels supremely lucky in the moment, grateful that love—real love—has found him. And that Hector was wrong. Dead wrong.

Nacho is curled up on his side facing the wall. Lalo blankets him with his body and inhales his scent at the back of his neck. Nacho stirs.

Lalo gently kisses him, and snakes his arm around Nacho’s stomach. 

"Good morning." Nacho says, groggily.

"Good morning mi amor. How did you sleep?" 

Lalo's dick seems to recognize that it's parked up against Nacho's ass and begins to harden.

"Good. I'm tired though." 

"Me too. We'll nap after lunch." Lalo starts kissing Nacho behind his ear.

Nacho hums.

Nacho's hand finds Lalo's crotch behind him.

Lalo breathes in sharply.

Nacho turns around.

"What can I do for you?"

Lalo has never heard sweeter words in his life.

"Why don't you show me how talented you are with your mouth again, I seem to have forgotten."

Nacho laughs. "You're so dumb."

He makes his way down Lalo's body, puling the covers over himself. 

Lalo yelps when Nacho takes him all the way down his throat.

Jesus fucking Christ he's so good at this.

At rec, Nacho sees Brian sticking close to Leon, trying to take care of him but Leon seems pissed and shoos Brian away. 

Lalo told him what he did. Despite the fact that Leon tried to rape him he's glad that Lalo kept him alive. Enough blood has already been spilled on his account already.

Lalo makes a show of going over to Leon and his crew and asking him how he is; what happened; if he needs anything. He says all of this with a grin. Leon looks tense and scared the entire time, and visibly relaxes his shoulders when Lalo finally leaves.

Viktor and Nacho decide to move Brian out of the kitchen and into the laundry. Nacho feels a little bad, like he's throwing Brian away, but he's not sure when Brian will come around and they can't have him around the business until he does.

Lalo heads to the infirmary immediately after rec.

Lalo doesn't visit him the entire library shift. He's oddly disappointed despite being grateful for the peace and quiet. He has an annoying thought that Lalo doesn't actually want to spend time with him and only does so as a precursor to sex but then shoves the thought away, chalking it up to anxiety. 

At lunch Lalo is sitting at their table eating his sandwich and writing something on a piece of paper. When he sees Nacho he rises from his seat, kisses him on the head with a mouth full of bread, and sits back down and continues what look like calculations by hand. 

"What are you doing?" Nacho finally asks. Lalo has been engrossed in something the past couple of days and Nacho's curiosity has finally boiled over. He wants to know what could be more interesting to Lalo than him. 

Lalo looks at him for a few seconds, like he's considering whether or not to say something.

"I'm building us a house." 

Nacho furrows his brow.

"A house?"

Lalo smiles softly. "Yes, amorcito. A house."

"Like the compound from your dream?"

Lalo rubs Nacho's shoulder. "Something like that." He says.

Nacho takes in the information, looking around the room.

"I know what you're thinking. But don't freak out. I want to do this, whether you live there or not." Lalo says.

A few days ago Nacho would have called Lalo crazy. But now . . . all he feels is a deep sense of love and trust toward Lalo.

"Cool." Nacho says.

Lalo looks dumbfounded, and then quickly shifts to elation.

He grabs Nacho's neck with his big hand and pulls him in to place a gentle kiss on his mouth. "You make me so happy."

Lalo pulls back and they stare at each other. Nacho forgets they're in prison, forgets they're in the cafeteria, forgets his aversion to PDA, and has a vision of the two of them making coffee, or eating dinner in a big house somewhere in Mexico. Nacho finally breaks the eye contact and looks down, and then stands up to go grab food. Lalo pats him on the lower back, and picks up his pencil.

Nacho looks back at Lalo as he walks away. He's deep in concentration over the paper.

He's building me a house, he thinks. Nacho feels himself falling deeper in love with Lalo; feels the skip of his heart and the flurry in his stomach. He's never been in love before. It feels warm, like floating on your back in a pool, but also scary, like swimming in a lake that you can't see the bottom of. So much of his happiness depends on this one person, this one relationship working out. He suddenly realizes the risk he's taking in fully admitting his own emotions to himself, and to Lalo, last night. He walks back to the table with his tray. God please let this work. 

They nap in their cell after lunch, side by side on the bottom bunk. Lalo lets Nacho be the big spoon.

Nacho feels himself slipping unconscious, and the last thing on his mind is what it would be like to sleep on a proper bed with Lalo, on a comfortable mattress with a big white comforter surrounded by fluffy pillows.

*********

June 8, 2010.

Lalo’s phone rings. He gets up from the table. They’ve instituted a new rule in the house that all calls must be taken outside of the kitchen, and away from the dinner table. 

Nacho sips his drink.

When Lalo returns his face is pale, like he saw a ghost.

”What?” Nacho asks.

”Don Eladio is here.”

Nacho stands up quickly. He usually makes himself scarce when someone from the cartel visits the house, especially Don Eladio. Lalo is insistent he not be there when Don Eladio is in town.

Everyone knows they’re together; it’s difficult to completely hide their relationship, but no one knows the extent of it. No one knows that Nacho lives at the compound, that his name is on the deed, that they have reciprocal wills and share a bank account. Essentially everything minus the marriage certificate. It’s one thing to be gay in the cartel; it’s quite another to be in a long term committed relationship with another man. 

“It’s too late now. He knows you’re here. We’ll just have to say you were visiting.”

Nacho’s hands are sweaty. Lalo looks nervous, and he never looks nervous.

The doorbell rings. They both freeze.

Lalo steps forward and looks back at Nacho’s face, silently apologizing for what’s about to happen.

Lalo opens the door and Don Eladio steps inside.

”Lalo! It’s not proper to keep a man waiting.”

Lalo apologizes profusely, blaming it on his security detail.

Nacho stays close to the table.

When Don Eladio sees him he feigns shock.

“Ignacio! What a pleasure. I didn’t know you were visiting.”

”Yes, Don Eladio. I was in town and Lalo and I had business to discuss.”

”Ah, I see.” Lalo takes his bags and brings them to the guest room.

“Make me a drink?” Eladio says. Nacho pretends he doesn’t know where the glasses are in the kitchen.

Eladio takes a seat at the table and watches him.

Lalo returns, and Nacho breathes a sigh of relief. He's only talked to Don Eladio once, when Lalo brought him along with him to his house in Juarez. He had to talk to Eladio on his own, while Lalo watched attentively from his seat across the pool. For the rest of the night Nacho had this lingering feeling like Eladio was watching him, but Lalo told him that Eladio was impressed and Nacho let his suspicions about him go.

Now, in Don Eladio's presence again, the feeling comes back.

He sits quietly while Lalo and Eladio talk. He chimes in when Lalo prompts him to, but wishes he could melt into the chair. Don Eladio drinks three glasses of tequila during dinner, and Lalo pretends to drink along with him but he sees him dump half his drink in the sink when he gets up. He's still very much on edge, despite making it seem like he's relaxed and having a good time.

Eladio keeps commenting on how much Nacho is drinking; keeps prompting him to drink more.

Around 9:30 pm Nacho gets up and announces that he's heading to his hotel. He'll drive somewhere, maybe sleep in his car tonight to keep up the facade that he doesn't live at the compound.

Lalo wishes Nacho a good night and Nacho tries to move toward the door but Eladio stops him. 

"Ah. No. We're not pretending anymore." Eladio says, gesturing for Nacho to sit back down.

"Pretending?" Lalo responds, keeping his demeanor upbeat.

Eladio's smile fades.

"If I walk into your bedroom right now I would find Nacho's clothes hanging in the closet, wouldn't I?" He asks.

Lalo's voice gets caught in his throat.

"Don Eladio . . ."

"I don't want to hear any lies."

Lalo and Nacho’s eyes lock for a second.

"Has he made an honest man of you?" Eladio asks Lalo.

Lalo opens his mouth and then shuts it again. One wrong word and they might end up with two bullets in their skulls. They both clocked the bulge in the back of Eladio's pants. Normally Lalo wouldn't allow anyone to bring a gun into his home, but of course he had to let Eladio bring it inside.

Lalo shakes his head no.

"So you wouldn't mind if I took him out back and shot him, then, would you?" Eladio says.

Every hair on Nacho's body stands straight up.

"Eladio . . ." Lalo pleads.

"Tell me then." He says. There's anger in his voice.

Clearly Eladio came here planning on doing this. That explains the sudden and unannounced visit.

"Or should I take him in your bedroom and have some fun?" 

All of the muscles in Lalo's jaw activate, and Nacho can see that he's gripping the table leg to control his emotions. 

"Which one?" He asks, insistent on an answer. Eladio is here to punish Lalo, for concealing his relationship with Nacho, for letting himself be vulnerable. 

"Take me instead." Lalo offers.

Nacho shoots Lalo a glance.

Eladio smiles. "We've had our fun Lalo. I want him."

Nacho suddenly realizes why Lalo has been so insistent that Nacho never be in the house when Eladio visits. He can't imagine the two of them having sex. Nacho wonders if Lalo actually consented to it; when it started and how long it went on. 

Lalo is stuck. He says nothing, and Nacho can tell he's dissociating. 

Nacho makes the decision for him.

"I'll do it." He says. 

Lalo doesn't move, or say anything. He keeps his eyes on the floor.

"What a good boy he is. You trained him well." Eladio slaps Lalo on the back.

Lalo looks at Nacho now. His eyes are misty.

He gets up, and makes himself a drink in the kitchen, and chugs it. He pours two more. He walks back to the table and hands Nacho the cup and sits back down. 

"Where's the good stuff?" Eladio asks.

Lalo gets up to retrieve the drugs from their bedroom.

Eladio's attention turns to Nacho. He motions for Nacho to bring his chair closer.

Nacho obliges. Eladio smells like cigars and body odor. Nacho knows that his compliance is necessary for him and Lalo to survive the night.

Lalo returns with a wooden box, which he hands to Eladio.

Eladio cuts a few lines, and offers one to Nacho. Nacho politely refuses.

"Okay Nacho, but you better not fall asleep on me." He says, with a wink. Nacho’s skin crawls.

Lalo brings Nacho another drink, which he drinks quickly, with a purpose.

Eladio places his hand on Nacho's knee. Nacho looks down. Lalo looks away.

"Why don't you go into the bedroom, and relax. Lalo and I have to talk. I'll meet you in there."

Nacho follows orders. He wants nothing more than to get away from this man, even if just for a few minutes. 

When he gets to the bedroom he considers the gun under the mattress, or the three in the closet, or the sliding glass door to his left that opens into the pool area. He could just leave, but Eladio would probably hunt him down and kill him.

He can’t help but imagine a scenario where he was able to slip away before Eladio noticed he was home. But maybe this confrontation was always bound to happen, one way or another. Maybe they were always going to get punished for their happiness.

He wonders if Eladio will put a bullet in his head even after he gets what he wants. 

He can hear Eladio and Lalo speaking outside the door, their voices muffled and low. Lalo seems to be maintaining his composure, despite the situation.

Was it worth it? All the pain they’ve endured just to be together? All the pain they’re likely to endure in the future to continue being together? He wonders if Lalo will be able to look at him the same way after he knows Eladio has been inside him.

Nacho gets up to shower, and find condoms. He and Lalo haven’t used them in a while.

Nacho returns from the shower and Eladio is spread out on the bed. He sees the light from a lit cigar outside on the porch. Lalo is sitting there in the dark, likely with his back turned away from the bedroom. He could watch if he wanted to. But it would kill him. 

Eladio perks up when he sees Nacho emerge.

Nacho sits down on the edge of the bed, facing away from Eladio. Facing away from Lalo.

”Come here.”

Nacho turns, and crawls over to Eladio.

”Take off your clothes.”

Nacho obliges.

Eladio looks at his chest hungrily.

Eladio grabs him roughly and pulls him so that he's lying underneath him, with his head on their pillows.

”We’re going to have fun, and you’re going to enjoy it.” He says.

Nacho knows what he means. What he wants.

”Yes.” He says. His face is completely neutral. 

He moves to kiss Nacho but Nacho instinctively jerks his head away. Eladio grabs his face and yanks it back toward him.

”Don’t make me hurt you.” He says. Nacho obliges.

Eladio's kissing is messy; his breath rancid. But luckily he quickly gets bored and lays on his back, grabbing Nacho by the neck and pushing him downward. Nacho takes the hint and unzips Eladio's pants. Nacho thinks he could get Eladio to cum like this, and avoid having to fuck him altogether. He takes him into his mouth and sucks with a purpose. No slow build up, no teasing. He's not treating this as foreplay. 

Eladio's member quickly grows. It's smaller than Lalo's and luckily doesn't smell as bad as his breath. Eladio moans like an old man above him. Nacho can feel his body tense up and thinks he might be able to pull this off. Eladio definitely won't be able to get hard again after he cums, not at his age.

Eladio pushes him off roughly after a few minutes.

"Stop. I know what you're trying to do." 

Nacho backs off and sits back on his feet. His lips are wet and glistening. 

"Turn around." 

Nacho turns, and gets on his hands and knees. 

Eladio slots himself behind Nacho, and feels up his ass. 

"What a nice backside."

Eladio pulls Nacho's underwear down, and starts rubbing his hole. Nacho instinctively clams up. He has no idea how he's going to relax enough to take him.

"I never understood why Lalo was so taken with you. But I'm starting to realize why. Your ass is sublime. Like a woman's."

Nacho bristles.

"There's lube in the nightstand." He says.

Nacho hears Eladio move, and the cap opening.

Nacho grinds his teeth. 

Nacho has no idea if Eladio used the condom he left out by the lube.

He feels Eladio's dick, and then the pressure of being breached. Eladio grips Nacho's shoulder, and sharply inhales.

Jesus Christ. No stretching, no foreplay. Nacho's going to hurt tomorrow.

He pushes all the way in. 

Nacho cries out below.

"There you are. Sing for me." He says. Eladio is getting off on Nacho's pain.

He sets a punishing pace from the start. The only thing keeping Nacho tethered to reality is the thought of this being over soon.

Eladio fucks him from behind for a few minutes, and then tires quickly. He makes Nacho mount him, and ride him reverse cowgirl. Nacho is grateful he doesn't have to look at Eladio's face.

Eladio smacks and grabs his ass as he fucks himself on Eladio's dick. He asks him if this is how Lalo fucks him; says degrading, nasty things to him. 

He's lasting longer than a sixty-year old man should. He must have popped a pill.

At some point Nacho's lower half goes numb, and he stops counting the thrusts. 

Ten, fifteen, maybe twenty minutes pass and Eladio is still going.

"How does Lalo finish? Inside of you? Or does he make you eat it?"

"Inside of me." Nacho manages to say.

Eladio growls, and pushes Nacho forward so that he's laying on his chest with Eladio thrusting into him from behind.

"Then I'll cum inside of you." He says, straight into Nacho's right ear.

Nacho buries his face into the bed.

Eladio wraps his arm around Nacho's neck and thrusts five, six, ten more times. Nacho is suffocating under the pressure of Eladio's body and losing the ability to breathe as Eladio puts more pressure on his windpipe. He lets himself get closer and closer to blacking out, but then Eladio pumps one last time, and collapses on top of him. Nacho pushes Eladio's arm away and gasps for air.

The light from outside goes out. Nacho hears the glass door slide open.

"You got what you want. Now get the fuck out." Lalo says. 

Eladio rolls off Nacho, and sits up. Nacho can feel Eladio's cum drip out.

He says nothing to either of them, and shuffles out the door. They hear the guest bedroom door open and close.

Lalo gets a glass of water from the bathroom and brings Nacho a pill. A painkiller.

He watches as Nacho swallows it. He cleans him up, and then tucks him into bed. Nacho drifts to sleep as the painkiller takes hold. Lalo stays with him, and remains awake for the rest of the night, guarding his body.

Chapter Text

Nacho wakes up, and his mouth is dry. Lalo instinctively hands him a glass of water. The sun is just rising and light is beginning to stream into the bedroom.

”He’s gone.” Lalo says.

Nacho sits up in bed. He keeps his eyes forward, afraid to look at Lalo. Afraid to see the pain on his face reflected back at him. Nacho wants nothing more than to forget last night. He wishes he could take a pill to erase the memory, like he can for the pain.

”I’m going to kill him.” Lalo says. Nacho can tell from the strain in his voice that he didn’t sleep a single second last night. He usually only sleeps two or four hours a night but his insomnia is easily triggered. He won’t be able to rest for days.

”This isn’t worth starting a war over.” Nacho says, finally finding his voice.

Lalo turns to him. “Then what is?”

There’s sorrow in his voice. Nacho knows he feels responsible for what happened. He internalizes all of Nacho’s pain; feels it as if it were his own. Even 8 years later, Lalo still treats Nacho’s safety as his number one priority, just as he promised that day, sitting in his prison cell sipping coffee.

He’s never broken that promise, until last night.

“Now that he knows he’s never going to let us be happy. He’s going to keep coming back, seeking you out, trying to punish me. He’s cruel, and obsessive.”

“Why? Why does he care so much that we’re together? Does it have something to do with the two of you?” Nacho asks. He wants to know what Eladio meant when he said they had their fun together already.

”He cares because he thinks we were hiding, hiding this from him. And because this type of thing is unprecedented in the cartel. It’s fine to have a family that you hide away somewhere, but being partners with someone else in the cartel makes us both targets for each other. And makes us weak. Just look at what happened to Max.” Nacho has heard this speech before, and finds it an unsatisfying answer. 

”There’s more to this though. Why does he care so much that you are with me.”

Nacho is looking at Lalo’s face now. He knows Lalo is trying to bury the lede.

Lalo sighs.

”I was 17, and too young to understand what it meant at the time . . .”

Present Day

Nacho wakes up from his nap and Lalo is gone. He frowns and checks his watch. It’s almost dinner time. He yawns and stretches. 

A running list of tasks filters through his brain: 1. Find a replacement for Brian, train him; 2. Work on the laundry bag prototype to smuggle drugs out; 3. Run numbers with Ana; 4. Call his Dad. 

Somewhere in that list is fixing the Brian-Leon situation. He sighs. He’s already invested so much time and effort into keeping Brian safe and at some point he just has to let him make his own mistakes. This isn’t like the situation with Anders, Brian is acting with his own free will now.

He thinks about just letting their relationship play out. At some point Leon will show his true colors and Brian will leave him.

On the other hand, if Leon was willing to assault him, who knows what he would do to Brian if he steps out of line. He’s torn, but puts off making any decisions for another day.

Nacho rises, finally, and heads to the cafeteria to find Ana.

Brian spends the afternoon learning his new laundry duties. He didn’t ask to be switched, and he’s pissed at Nacho for doing it, but he’s fine with laundry. It’s less work than the cafeteria and he can spend more time with Leon this way.

Leon spends most of the day holed up in the supply closet though. He’s been on edge all day, probably because of the pain. Brian tries not to take it personally; he remembers how it felt to have a broken wrist.

Leon wouldn’t tell him what happened. But Brian suspects it was Lalo; suspects that it has something to do with what Nacho and Ana had been hinting at.

Brian just can’t see it though. Leon being an informant? Everyone loves him, and he’s been so nice to Brian so far. He’s never asked Brian anything incriminating—never asked him to spy.

They’re wrong. They have to be.

Brian throws the last load of laundry into the industrial-sized dryers and clocks out. He decides to see if Leon wants to grab lunch with him. He turns the corner and sees Jack leave Leon’s office. Leon is leaning on the door frame and Jack is grinning as he walks out. He snaps and winks at Brian as he passes him.

Brian doesn’t know much about Jack aside from his . . . reputation. He instantly feels jealous. Why was Jack in there with Leon?

Brian pretends to be unaffected.

“Hey, Leon.” He says, awkwardly. They haven’t really spent much time together since they had sex a few days ago.

Leon seems to be in a better mood than before.

”Brian.” He says, with a half grin. “What can I do for you?”

Leon has a cast and sling on his left arm, and tape on a couple of his fingers. He has a black eye and his nose is still bandaged, but it honestly only makes him more attractive; enhances his features.

”How are you . . . feeling?” Brian asks. Leon motions for him to step into the closet.

”Better, than before. I got more meds. Sorry if I was mean at rec. I was in a lot of pain.”

”I get it, I had the broken wrist. That sucked.”

Leon makes a sympathetic face. “Yeah, you know.”

Brian sits down on the chair on the other side of Leon’s desk. Leon is leaning against his desk facing Brian, like a teacher about to have a serious talk with one of his students.

”So you’re a laundry boy now, huh?” 

“Yeah. I think Nacho moved me.”

Leon makes a face when Brian says Nacho’s name, but then quickly shifts his features back to normal, but not quick enough for Brian to miss it. 

For Brian it confirms that Nacho had something to do with his broken arm.

”Well it’s his loss. We’re happy to have you down here.”

”Cool.” Brian says.

”Hey while you’re down here I was hoping to get off. Mind sucking my dick?” He asks, as if he’s asking Brian to make him a copy. It catches Brian off guard. He laughs, thinking it must be a joke.

”Ok, no worries Brian.” Leon says, and gets up to open the door.

Brian realizes he was serious. 

“Oh, sorry. I thought you were joking.”

Leon’s face is neutral, almost angry. “Why would I joke about that?”

Brian thinks back to Jack. If he doesn’t do it, Leon will probably just get him or Kevin or whoever’s closest to do it—Leon could have anyone he wants. But Brian wants them to be exclusive, like Nacho and Lalo.

He also really doesn’t want his relationship with Leon to be so transactional. He misses the stage where Leon was trying to woo him. When he gave him special attention and made things romantic. But it’s not like Leon can really do that now, with a broken arm . . .

”Ok. But can we . . . kiss?” Brian asks. He thinks if they kiss it will feel less like prostitution. Or like with Anders.

Leon chuckles. “Of course we can.” 

Leon shuts the door and locks it.

”Come here.”

Brian gets up, and walks over to him.

Leon grabs Brian with his good arm, and pulls him in. They lock lips.

Brian’s head is swimming. Leon’s tongue is grazing the inside of his mouth and tastes like mint. Leon’s hand finds Brian’s lower back, and then his ass. Brian whimpers. He suddenly wishes Leon didn’t have a broken arm.

Brian gently pushes him back toward the door. He takes Leon’s head into his hands, and Brian really leans into the kiss, trying to convey through his body language that he has feelings for Leon. That this isn’t just a hookup. He tries to communicate the things he doesn’t have the courage to say.

Leon breaks the kiss and looks Brian in the eyes.

”Woah. You ok there Brian?” Brian loves when he says his name.

”Yeah. I’m just, really into you.”

Leon’s eyes flash. He pulls Brian’s crotch against his. Brian can feel his erection.

”Well I’m into you too.”

Brian smiles. Progress.

He drops to his knees, and starts unzipping Leon’s pants. He looks up at Leon, who is looking down at him with his mouth open.

”Can you find me, whenever you need someone to take care of you?” Brian asks. He wants Leon to agree to be exclusive, but he doesn’t know how else to say it.

Brian takes Leon into his mouth.

”Oh fuck.” Leon says. His hand rests on the top of Brian’s head.

Brian pulls off, and looks back at Leon for an answer.

”I’ll do whatever you want if you keep sucking me like that.” He says.

Brian feels satisfied with that answer, and dives back in.

Leon starts moaning indiscriminately, and guiding Brian by his hair.

When he gets close he pulls on his hair, almost to the point of pain. Brian lets him cum in his mouth, and licks Leon’s dick clean.

When he’s done he stands up, and wipes his mouth. He zips Leon’s pants up for him. Leon is leaning against the door, trying to recover.

Leon pulls Brian into a hug with his right arm.

Brian is still hard but tucks it up into his pants. Brian opens the door, and Leon leads them out.

“Yeah, we’re definitely doing that again.”

Nacho spends dinner watching Lalo draw a layout of the compound for him. Lalo has the entire plan in his head, and Nacho is impressed. He’s never seen him be so motivated and single minded about anything besides sex before.

After dinner Lalo disappears again. Nacho frowns when he realizes, but decides to spend some time watching Lucas play cards. Apparently he’s very good at poker.

Lucas wins a few rounds, and Nacho asks to be dealt in. He’s played before and after a few games remembers the rules.

He catches sight of Lalo walking down the stairs some time later. That’s where he’s been. Nacho feels good about his hand. He thinks he can win the round.

Lalo walks over to the table, and behind Nacho so he can see his cards.

”He’s got a Jack and an ace.” Lalo announces to the table, putting his hand on Nacho’s shoulder as he says it.

The table groans. Nacho lets his cards fall on the table, and shoots Lalo an angry glance.

”Lalo what the hell.” Lucas says.

”What? We’ve got a date.”

Nacho stands up. Lalo ruined his chances at winning, and now Nacho isn’t interested in playing anymore.

”Come on mi amor. I have something to show you.” Lalo says.

“This better be good.”

Nacho follows Lalo up the stairs. When they get to the top Lalo makes Nacho close his eyes.

“Open” Lalo says, as they approach the cell.

Nacho opens his eyes, and sees that Lalo has put a blanket down, and there’s a bottle of wine and two cups on the ground. Actual wine, not made in a toilet.

He can see there are string lights hung from the wall to the top bunk, over the blanket. The prison lights are still on but Nacho can see that when they turn off, it will be quite romantic.

”Battery operated.” Lalo says.

Nacho is . . . impressed, and moved. How did Lalo get wine? And these lights?

He steps inside. 

“Do you like it?” Lalo asks.

“I love it, but what’s the occasion?”

”I don’t need an occasion to be romantic.” He says, grabbing Nacho by the waist and pulling him in.

The 15 minute warning goes off for lights out.

”I mean I did get a clean bill of health from the nurse.”

Nacho laughs. “I see. Aren’t you always trying to get laid?”

”Hey, it’s not just about that. We took a huge step yesterday, and we’ve both been through a lot. Don’t we deserve a nice night?”

”Yeah. This is nice.” Nacho admits. The effort makes him feel good. Like Lalo really values him, and wants to make him happy.

”Come on. Let’s drink.” Lalo sits down on the ground, and unscrews the wine.

”I was waiting to drink this on my last night in prison but I thought, what the hell, why not drink it with the man that I love.”

Nacho’s face gets hot. That’s the first time he’s heard Lalo say it that way.

He sits down next to Lalo, and takes the cup. He sips it, and realizes just how gross toilet wine is.

”Shit this is good.” He says.

Lalo laughs. “Yeah. It’s going to be hard to go back to toilet wine after this.”

They sit and drink for the next ten minutes and wait for the lights to go out. Nacho is relaxed, so relaxed in Lalo’s presence. It’s weird how safe Lalo makes him feel. Like nothing bad could ever happen to him, like Lalo will always be there to tend to his every want and need.

When the lights turn off, Lalo switches on the string lights. Nacho looks up. It really is very romantic.

”Wow, even better than I thought.” Lalo says. They both have the same instinct to lie on their backs and look up at the lights.

”This is nice.” Nacho says. He realizes he’s totally content.

”Yeah. Imagine if we could sit under the stars every night.” Lalo’s voice is wistful.

”Would we be able to see them in Mexico?”

”Where I bought property, yeah. There isn’t a town for miles. We’ll be able to see them clearly.”

Nacho conjures the image in his mind. Of laying on grass, or some chairs, and looking up at the night sky with Lalo by his side.

“That will be nice.”

Lalo is quiet, uncharacteristically so. He must be imagining it too.

”I love you, Lalo.” Nacho says. This is only the second time he’s said it, and it feels right.

Lalo moves quickly, so he’s on top of Nacho now.

”I love you too, Nacho. More than you could imagine.”

They kiss. And more than ever before, they feel it. That magical feeling of being in love with someone and knowing that they love you back, and that your relationship is just beginning, that all of the hesitation and fear are behind you.

The kiss quickly turns heated, the ambience and alcohol fueling their desire.

”Want you inside me.” Nacho says, into Lalo’s mouth.

”Want to be inside you.” Lalo responds.

He pulls his shirt off and then makes Nacho sit up and pulls his shirt off too. They both shimmy to take their pants off.

”God I’ve wanted to fuck you like this for so long.”

Nacho switches them so that Lalo is sitting on the ground and Nacho mounts him.

”Yeah? You wanna mark me up?” Nacho says.

Lalo grabs Nacho’s neck and back and pulls him in for a kiss.

”I want to engrave my name in your ass. Property of Lalo Salamanca.”

Lalo’s hand reaches into Nacho’s briefs, and grabs a handful of Nacho’s ass.

Nacho grinds on Lalo’s dick.

”So no one else can touch me?” Nacho knows what he has to say to get Lalo going, and he wants to get him going. Wants him to take control.

Lalo growls, and flips them over so he’s on top of Nacho again. Nacho wraps his legs around Lalo’s hips.

”No one but me.”

He pulls Nacho’s briefs off, and finds the lube under the bed. He kisses Nacho while he slicks his fingers up. Lalo sits up, and finds Nacho’s hole.

”Wish I could lock you up, so only I could touch you.”

Lalo sticks a finger in, and uses his other hand to stroke Nacho’s balls.

”Oh yeah?”

”Yeah. Keep you all to myself. Make a dildo out of my dick and make you wear it all day.”

Nacho’s dick jumps. Jesus how many kinks does Lalo have, and more importantly, how many kinks is he going to reveal that Nacho also has?

”Keep you plugged up, just for me.”

He puts two fingers in. Nacho is stroking himself now. He could listen to Lalo talk dirty to him all day.

”And then I’d come home and take it out, and put my dick in there immediately. Cum inside you and then plug you back up.”

Jesus fuck, why is that so hot?

”Say more.” Nacho is close, and he wants to cum.

”I’ll bring you to work with me, and make you sit on my dick while I make calls, and keep it warm. My little cock warmer.”

Nacho speeds up his rhythm, the visual fueling him.

Lalo suddenly pulls his fingers out, and stands up, grabbing Nacho by the arm and pulling him up to.

Nacho is confused, but Lalo leads him to the bedpost. 

“Hold on.” He says, and lines his dick up behind Nacho. They have to adjust so that the angle is right, but Lalo is able to slide in with minimal discomfort.

Nacho is leaning onto the bedpost, and Lalo is staying still, fully seated inside of him.

”Oh fuck amorcito. You feel so good. So amazing without a condom. I’ve wanted to fuck you like this for so long.”

Nacho shifts his hips so that Lalo has to move.

”Come on then. Fuck me.” Nacho knows that Lalo loves when he’s cheeky. When he goads him.

Lalo bites into Nacho’s shoulder, and starts thrusting in and out. Nacho takes his dick in his hand again.

“Going to shoot deep inside you.”

”Please, I want your cum.”

”Want me to breed you?”

Nacho has never heard that before, but rolls with it.

”Yes, breed me.” He needs Lalo to hit that spot, so he can orgasm as soon as possible.

Lalo takes his right hand and places it over Nacho’s hand on the bed. He fucks him with a purpose now, not rough but not soft either.

”I’ll be dripping out of you all night. Tomorrow too. Everyone will know.”

”Everyone already knows.”

”Knows what?”

”That I’m yours.” Nacho says.

Lalo moans.

”Say it again.” 

Lalo is close, closer than Nacho is.

”I’m yours. I’m all yours.”

Lalo goes into turbo mode and starts thrusting fast, and shallow. Nacho’s moans get high pitched. 

Lalo’s hand finds Nacho’s mouth, and covers it.

”Don’t wake the neighbors Nacho. They might try and watch, try and see how good I fuck you.”

Lalo releases Nacho and Nacho stays quiet, stroking himself. He’s so close.

Lalo’s head falls, and he thrusts once more, and then stills. He holds his dick inside Nacho while it deflates. Nacho is in a race against time to get off while Lalo is still inside him. He can’t quite get there. 

Lalo pulls out, and falls to his knees to inspect his work. Nacho can feel the cum start to drip out. 

“All mine.” He says. He twists Nacho around and swats his hands away from his dick. He sticks his fingers up Nacho’s ass and then starts stroking him over his chest.

”Cum for me.” He says. 

Seeing Lalo on his knees, looking up at him so reverently like he’s some sort of god, with his fingers holding his cum inside his ass to keep him marked up sends Nacho over the edge. He shoots an enormous load directly onto Lalo’s chest.

They both collapse onto the blanket.

”Jesus you came a lot” Lalo says, wiping it from his chest.

“Up for a second round?” Nacho asks. He wants to ride Lalo, or have Lalo suck him off while fingering him.

Lalo grins. “Just let me catch my breath.”

Chapter Text

Brian sticks close to Leon during rec. He wants to make sure that everyone sees them together, sees that he’s taken. The problem is that Leon is ignoring him again. He watches a few pick up games and shoots the shit with his guys, spends half an hour sitting with Lalo's crew obviously on edge, talking about business or something. Brian trails him like a stray puppy. Leon barely acknowledges his presence, never bringing Brian into any of his conversations.

He’s sitting on the benches, watching Leon talk with his number two, Jose, when Kevin takes the seat next to him.

”Leon likes what he can’t have.” Kevin says.

”What?” Brian responds. He’s never spoken to Kevin before, and considers him to be competition. A threat.

”He’s a coveter. He only wants what he can’t have. What belongs to someone else.” 

Brian looks at Kevin with confusion and a tinge of reproach. Is Kevin trying to give him advice? About Leon?

”Thanks for the advice, but we’re fine.” Brian lies. He doesn’t like the idea of one of Leon’s former lovers trying to tell him how his relationship with Leon will go, as if they’re at all similar.

”Hey I’m just being friendly. We’ve all gone after Leon at some point. But he really only likes the chase. He’s not interested in an actual relationship.”

Fuck this guy, thinking he knows how Leon feels about Brian.

Brian makes his body language standoffish. He wants Kevin to fuck off but is too polite to say it. Kevin takes the hint.

”I can see you like him. I’m just trying to help. If you want, swing by the cleaning supply closet on the first floor around 1pm. We hang out then.”

Kevin gets up and walks away. 

Brian’s curiosity is piqued. Who is “we”?

He looks back at Leon. What Kevin said does track. Leon was really into him before they had sex, but since then he’s been cold, and distant. Brian can see his eyes lingering on other men, the young and hot ones. He doesn’t know how long Leon will keep his promise, if he intends to keep it at all.

He needs this relationship to work out, or he’ll have to go back to the Aryans for protection. He scans the yard and sees Nacho and Lalo working out together. They’re smiling and Lalo is laughing.

Brian can feel the green eyed monster grow in his chest. Why do they get to be happy and not him? Lalo is practically evil, and Nacho is . . . vindictive. Brian is a good person. Why does Nacho always get what he wants but Brian’s always stuck in limbo?

Rec is almost over and Leon's attention finally turns to Brian. He walks over to where he’s sitting and puts his hand under Brian’s chin. “Found you.” He says, as if Brian hasn’t been his shadow all morning.

“Swing by my cell after rec?”

Brian's relieved that Leon is finally giving him attention, but he doesn’t want to seem too eager, already having internalized what Kevin said.

”Yeah, if you’re lucky.” Brian says, in a flirtatious tone.

Leon’s left eyebrow raises.

His hand moves to Brian’s shirt, a finger hooks into the front of it possessively.

”Hm, got better places to be?” Leon’s eyes linger on Brian’s lips.

Brian unhooks his hand from his shirt and leans back on the bleachers casually. 

“I was thinking about showering.” He says, scanning the yard with his eyes. He lets his legs fall open wide, his body language inviting. He wants Leon to think that he’s scoping around for someone else to fuck.

Leon checks Brian’s eyeline and sees that he’s looking around for options. His head snaps back to Brian’s face. He’s certainly paying attention to Brian now. Brian lets his gaze fall back to Leon, but slowly, like he’s not in a rush.

Leon’s eyes are boring holes into Brian’s skull.

Brian is giddy with joy. Playing with Leon is working.

”No. You’ll come to my cell.” He says, in a tone that invites no further discussion.

Brian looks at him, his eyes gazing upward but his head level, the way that he would look up at Leon if he was giving him a blowjob. Leon is close enough that his leg is pressed up against his shin.

Leon puts his hand on Brian’s cheek and his thumb grazes his bottom lip. Brian lets his mouth fall open ever so slightly. 

”Okay?” Leon asks. His eyes never leave his mouth.

”Okay.” Brian finally says. Leon's shoulders relax, in relief. He really thought Brian was going to say no. Brian commends himself for his acting abilities.

Brian stands up, and pats Leon on the shoulder as he walks away. 

“See you soon.” He says, with a wink. He wants to give Leon a show, knowing he'll be looking back at him as he walks off. He lifts his shirt up ever so slightly in the front to make sure his ass is on display and walks with a bit of a swagger. He looks back and sees Leon staring at him, mouth agape.

Oh it’s so on.

He’s going to make Leon scream his name later.

Kevin’s advice has already paid off. Maybe he will meet them at 1pm, after all.

- - - - -

Brian finds Leon laying in his cell when he arrives.

Leon sits up, and swings his legs over the edge of his bed when he sees him.

Brian pauses at the door, grinning.

"Come here." Leon says.

Brian lets Leon take him into his good arm, his head at chest level. Leon looks up at him.

"You were quite the tease back there. Trying to get me to fall in love with you or something?"

Brian knows Leon wants him to keep up the charade. Brian has to play the game, as much as he wants to admit that yes, he is trying to get Leon to fall in love with him.

"Nope. Just looking for someone to please me. You know, seeing as how you're broken and all." He says, running his hand up and down Leon's sling.

Leon instantly reacts. He stands up, and steps behind Brian, holding him close to his body with his right arm around Brian's neck. 

"I could fuck you better with one broken arm than any guy in here." He says through gritted teeth.

"Oh yeah?" Brian challenges, pushing his ass back into his crotch. Leon is growing hard.

Leon tightens his grip on Brian's throat. Brian's dick shoots into action.

"Take off your clothes, and get on the bed. I wanna watch you open yourself up." 

Leon's words shoot through Brian's body like lightning. Brian grabs Leon's hand around his neck and moves it to his crotch to show Leon how hard he is. How much Leon affects him.

"Come on, we don't have time." Leon says, rubbing Brian's crotch.

Leon releases him, and Brian jumps onto the bed like an overexcited toddler. He pulls all of his clothes off in two fluid motions.

Leon keeps his eyes on Brian's body, and throws him some lube.

He moves to sit on the edge of the bed and places his right hand on Brian's leg. 

Brian breaches himself with the first finger.

"Just like that. Finger yourself for me." Leon says. He unzips his own pants and takes himself into his hand.

Brian forges on, feeling the connection between him putting on a show and Leon stroking himself.

Brian adds another finger, and Leon watches him, slack jawed. Sex is one of the few instances where Brian gets Leon's full attention and he intends to milk it for all its worth.

"I want you to fuck me." Brian says, fully seating two of his fingers inside of him.

Leon grabs Brian's hand and pulls his fingers out, and then replaces them with two of his own.

Brian's breath catches. Leon's fingers are bigger than his.

"Are you ready for me pretty boy?" Leon asks, and slips a third in.

Brian grabs onto Leon's wrist and holds it steady, the shock of the third finger and Leon's pet name hitting him all at once.

"Yes, I'm ready." He moans. He knows they only have a few minutes before they're due in the laundry and he wants to make sure he gets off.

Leon keeps his eyes on where his fingers are breaching Brian, and continues fucking in and out.

Brian grows impatient, and forces Leon to look at his face.

"Don't make me find Jose."

Brian's caught Jose looking at him, especially when Leon is ignoring Brian. Jose is attractive--not as attractive as Leon, but still attractive, and powerful enough to keep Brian safe. Brian has no real interest in Jose when compared to Leon, but he figures that pretending will get Leon going. 

It works, a little too well.

Leon lunges forward, grabbing Brian by the neck and pushing him backward so that he's laying flat underneath him. Leon's erection is straining against his undone pants. Brian's erection has only grown.

"You wouldn't dare." Leon says. His eyes are teetering on the edge of fury, like if Brian says the wrong thing he might hit him, but if he says the right thing he'll make sure Brian cums long and hard.

Brian picks his next words wisely.

"Then fuck me."

Leon releases him.

"Hands and knees" He says.

Brian complies. He hopes no one walks by the cell, because everyone will see Leon fucking him from behind. There's minimal privacy when you're not in the bunk.

Brian can hear Leon undoing his pants, and then feels Leon's fingers adding more lube to his ass. He wonders how Leon put a condom on with one hand and then feels Leon breach him, realizing that he didn't put one on at all.

Brian loses the thought as soon as Leon's dick gets halfway into his ass. He stretched enough but the feeling always takes him off guard in the beginning, his brain forgetting the pain each time he cums.

Leon grabs onto his hip with a grip that will probably leave a bruise.

"If I hear you fucked anyone else there will be trouble." Leon spits, fully thrusting in and out of Brian.

Brian's head falls, and he grabs his dick.

"I'm serious." Leon says, squeezing Brian's hip even tighter. Brian cries out in pain.

"I won't." Brian manages to say, on an exhale. He needs Leon to release his hip bone, the pain radiating throughout his body. If he thought Leon would get this possessive he wouldn't have mentioned Jose's name.

Leon releases him, and slides his hand up and down Brian's spine. He starts thrusting with a rhythm now.

"You need a real man to fuck you. You're too pretty for Jose." 

Brian's getting close below Leon. The praise is spurring him to release.

"Yes." He moans.

"Your perfect mouth is for me." 

"Uh huh." Brian responds. He's one second from release, and is barely registering what Leon is saying.

"You're gonna let me fuck that perfect mouth every day." Leon says, puncturing his point with one last thrust into Brian. He stills, and Brian can feel Leon release into him.

Brian strokes himself for a few more seconds and then cums into his own hand.

He has to catch his breath, and realizes they just came almost simultaneously; the sexual version of hitting a hole in one.

"Fuck, did you just cum?" Leon asks. He slowly pulls out of Brian. Brian falls onto the bed, and feels Leon's cum on his leg. Brian remembers that he didn't hear Leon put a condom on before his dick made his brain stop working.

"Why didn't you use a condom?" Brian asks, in shock. He's always been hyper paranoid about sexually transmitted diseases, even before prison.

Leon grabs a washcloth and wipes his dick off. He throws it to Brian.

"I couldn't open the wrapper with one hand, and you were ready to go." He says. It instantly bugs Brian that Leon is turning this back around onto him. Brian can also think of five different ways Leon could have put the condom on with the sling.

"Can you wear one in the future?" Brian asks. He's pissed, but still in a stupor from his orgasm, which is making it hard for him to string thoughts and sentences together.

"Sure, Brian. Sorry." Leon says. The sorry sounds forced though, which further pisses Brian off.

Brian puts his clothes back on, choosing silence over bitching Leon out.

"Don't be mad." Leon says, lifting Brian's chin up as he tries to put on his shoes.

"I'm not." Brian lies. "I'll see you downstairs." He says, slipping his second shoe on. He leaves Leon's cell without saying goodbye or looking back. He needs to cool off, and think about what just happened.

Nacho, Ana, and Lalo meet in the freezers after lunch. Ana called a meeting.

"What's happening with Brian?" She asks the both of them when they get inside.

"What do you mean?" Lalo responds.

"I saw him and Leon together at rec. Did you tell him what happened?" She's looking at Nacho now.

"No. I didn't." Nacho answers. He thought Ana would have told Brian given that they're roommates.

"Okay well we should tell him, right? That he's infatuated with a rapist."

"I don't think we should." Lalo chimes in. They both look at him.

"The fewer people that know about what he did, and what I did, the better." Nacho realizes that's a good point. That way the only witnesses to Lalo's beatdown would be Viktor, Ana, and Nacho.

"Well can we at least tell him that Leon came onto Nacho, or something? He has a right to know what kind of man Leon is."

The conversation has made up Nacho's mind.

"No. The more we try to drive him away the more he'll feel compelled to hold on. He needs to figure this out on his own."

He won't meddle in their relationship. Brian will figure it out, eventually, and Nacho will forgive him, and welcome him back.

Ana sighs. "Fine."

- - - - -

Nacho and Lalo seem to be settling into a rhythm. They either wake up and fuck before breakfast or fuck after rec in the showers, or in the cell before Nacho's work shift starts. And then they fuck again at night when the lights turn out.

But sometimes, their desire catches them at strange times.

Today it's in the back of the commissary, in the store room. Lucas and Ana caught one of their clerks stealing, and asked Lalo to scare him. Not too much, just enough to keep him from doing it again. They would just fire him, but the kid is Nestor's second cousin's nephew or something, and they promised to look after him.

They're in the back of the commissary, and Nacho is idly watching as Lalo moves around the kid, whose sitting in a chair looking scared shitless. Lalo is wagging his finger at him, and leaning on the arm rest of the chair, getting close to his face, generally being menacing. Nacho can see his arm muscles flex, the veins in his forehead bulging, his big hands gripping, and releasing. Nacho can imagine those hands on his body. Something about the situation turns Nacho on. Lalo is so scary to everyone else, almost inhuman, but for Nacho he's devoted, protective, and romantic, generally putty in his hands. Lalo was right when he said that Nacho could have him wrapped around his finger; his own boss ready to get on his knees for him at the drop of a hat. One snap of his finger and Nacho can have him panting like a dog.

Nacho stops what he's doing and just watches the scene unfold. He hears Lalo say something about fingers, and toes. 

When the kid gets to the point of almost pissing himself, Lalo releases him. He runs out of the commissary, like his life depends on it.

Lalo sits down in the chair and lets his head fall back, closing his eyes.

Nacho goes in for the kill.

"Hey big man. Wanna help me reach something?" He asks. 

Lalo's eyes shoot open, and his head straightens up to see Nacho standing before him.

"Sure Nachito, lead the way."

Nacho walks toward the back of the commissary and into the store room. The guards took the door off after a few too many stabbings but there's still relative privacy if no one walks in.

Nacho leans back onto the shelves, his elbows resting casually at chest level.

"Tell me what I can do for you." Lalo purrs, approaching Nacho.

Nacho grabs a fist full of his shirt. Dominating Lalo after that display is all he can think of.

"On your knees." He says, into Lalo's mouth. Lalo tries to kiss him but Nacho pushes him away. 

Lalo looks at him for a second, deciding whether or not to let Nacho have the upper hand; deciding whether to allow Nacho to tell him what to do for once.

Lalo doesn't say anything, but gives Nacho a half smile, like he's going to make him pay for this later, and then drops to his knees.

Brian heads to the supply closet at 1pm. He finds Kevin, Jack, and another guy whose name he doesn't know, drinking. He's seen Jack and the other guy hanging out together before.

"The little Aryan showed up." Jack jokes.

"I'm not an Aryan." Brian responds. He hates that people associate him with those racists.

"I know, I'm just kidding." Jack says. The guy whose name Brian doesn't know extends his hand for Brian to shake it. "Antonio." He says. Brian returns the handshake.

Kevin introduces them. "Jack, Antonio, this is Brian." 

"Oh I know who Brian is." Jack says.

"You know everything." Kevin responds.

Brian waits for an explanation.

"What, I like to gossip!" Jack shrugs his shoulders. "What the fuck else is there to do in this shit hole."

Antonio and Kevin take a swig of their drinks in agreement.

Antonio offers Brian a cup. Brian accepts, and takes a sip, feeling awkward around this obvious group of friends.

"Brian this is the 1pm crew. Or at least that's what we call ourselves. We wanted to check on you, see how you were doing." Kevin says.

"Um, I'm fine. Thanks. This is nice." Brian's still not sure he can trust them, or even wants to be their friends.

"Hey, has Leon put a ring on it yet?" Jack asks.

"What do you mean?" Brian responds.

"Like are you guys exclusive, has he claimed you, or whatever? He hasn't bothered us in a few days, which is a record."

"Us?" Brian asks. 

Jack rolls his eyes. "All the free agents. Me, Antonio, Kevin, other, less hot guys who aren't exclusive and are willing to bottom." 

"Oh. I didn't know that was a thing." Brian responds. He's glad to hear that Leon has kept his promise so far.

"Yeah, we joke about unionizing or something, because it's a full time job keeping the men in here happy." Antonio adds. They all laugh.

"How do you stay safe?" Brian asks. He figured anyone like him would want to be claimed so that they wouldn't get raped. 

"We look out for each other." Kevin answers.

"And we always carry a weapon." Jack adds.

"Do you have one?" Antonio chimes in. It's like they're acting in a play or something, jumping in to finish each other's sentences.

"Uh, no. No. I just rely on Leon." He admits. He doesn't know where he would even begin to find a weapon.

Kevin pulls something out of his pants and hands it to Brian. It's a small pocket knife.

"Keep it in your sock and don't let the guards see it." He says.

Brian closes his hand around it. Just holding it immediately makes him feel safer.

"Thank you." Brian suddenly feels a sense of kinship with these guys, even though they just met. He should be jealous, or standoffish, given that Leon has fucked all of them, but instead he feels camaraderie. It would be nice to have friends again. Since his falling out with Nacho he hasn't really had anyone to talk to, aside from Ana. But she's always busy and they don't work close together anymore.

"So . . . Leon . . . tell us more." Antonio goads him, inviting him to share the juicy details.

Brian blushes.

"What do you want to know?"

June 9, 2010

"17?" What were you doing hanging around the cartel at 17?

"It's normal in my family, as soon as you graduate high school--that's not the point." Lalo says, dismissively.

"Hector brought me to Eladio's. He just took over from his dad, who at that point had lost his mind. Dementia or whatever." 

"How old was he?"

"I don't know 70 or something."

"No. Eladio, how old was Eladio at the time?"

"Oh. Early 30s, I think."

Nacho's skin crawls. 17 and 30 . . . 

"I was just there to observe, you know. Soak it up. Get my face out there. My parents made Hector promise to let me go to college, but Hector wanted me with him over the summers."

Nacho sits there, enraptured. He thought he knew everything about Lalo’s life before prison, but obviously Lalo kept this specific memory to himself, not wanting to release it from the box he kept it locked away in.

”I don’t know how Eladio figured it out. But he knew I was gay before I did. Or at least before I was willing to admit it to myself."

Lalo pauses, mustering up the strength to continue.

"The first time it happened, he cornered me in his bathroom. Followed me in there after I got out of the pool. He jerked me off without saying a word, and then left."

Nacho wants to comfort Lalo, but fears acknowledging how fucked up it is will make Lalo clam up.

"The next time it happened, I was back from school the next summer. I thought it was just a one-time thing. He never contacted me, and Hector never found out. Almost a whole year had passed."

Nacho holds his breath.

"We had so much to drink that night. Hector passed out by the pool. I passed out on the couch, but woke up in Eladio's bed, with him fucking me."

"Jesus." Nacho finally breaks.

"It was only my second time with a man. I had sex in college, that first year, but I was still so inexperienced. My brain convinced me that it was love. That we were in a relationship, because I couldn't deal with the reality of what it was."

"Rape." Nacho says it for Lalo.

"I know that now. But I buried it, and contorted the memory into something consensual for so long. A bad relationship but not something that happened to me, you know. I didn't realize it until prison, really, until you." 

Nacho nods, spurring Lalo to continue.

"He convinced Hector to let me live there for the summer; told him it was about mentoring or something. He was so controlling and would hit me, sometimes. And then shower me with gifts to make up for it."

"How did it end?" Nacho asks.

"He almost didn't let me go back to school in the fall, but Hector and my dad intervened, threatened to kill him or something, and he relented. I was so relieved when I finally left Juarez. But it didn't end there. I spent the next year between school going back and forth between Juarez and New Mexico. He would fly me places, resorts and stuff. And then I would go back to the states and pretend like everything was okay, but I was dying inside. He was a violent drunk, and abusive even when sober. That's when my sleep got bad . . . My self esteem was shit and my health was tanking. I lost so much weight and looked sick all the time, from the anxiety. I think Hector figured out what was happening because suddenly I wasn't allowed to go back to Juarez, at least not alone. And my parents encouraged me to spend the next summer abroad. Eladio kept calling but I just stopped answering. And the longer I stayed away the more I realized that it wasn't love. That I was just scared about what would happen if I left him."

Nacho reaches out and grabs Lalo's hand. Lalo is staring at nothing in particular, eyes unfocused, like he's playing the memories back in his mind's eye.

"And then it was over. He lost interest, or something. But I spent almost two years in hell with that man. Two years of my youth wasted."

"Fuck him." Nacho says. He wants to go back in time and save baby Lalo from Eladio, forgetting his own pain for the moment.

Lalo turns to face Nacho, and squeezes his hand.

"Let's make a plan." 

Chapter Text

Time begins passing more quickly for Nacho, the boredom and routine setting in after a tumultuous first two months in prison.

His days are no longer marked by fear and pain but by pleasure. Lalo underneath him, moaning his name in the morning while Nacho rides him to completion; Nacho bent over a table in the kitchen after dinner; Lalo fucking him from behind in the showers after rec; Lalo sucking his dick in the storeroom; Nacho sucking Lalo’s dick downstairs in the laundry stairwell.

And for three whole weeks he and Lalo don’t fight once. All they do is fuck, and talk about the future—their future, and run product. They make surprisingly good business partners. Nacho is a details man, prefers to sit in the back room or inspect product and Lalo is more of a big picture guy, capable of projecting an image and being a figure head. They complement each other, just like they do in the bedroom.

It’s Friday, after dinner, and Lalo is balls deep in Nacho’s ass, with his hand over Nacho’s mouth. Nacho is moaning underneath but his oh fucks are muffled under Lalo’s hand. For once Lalo doesn’t want to hear them; just wants to take what he wants like Lalo is paying him to lie on his back.

That morning Nacho’s pants came back from the laundry slightly shrunken, and Nacho kept asking Lalo if they looked tighter than usual, trying to crane his neck to see his own ass.

Lalo lied through his teeth so he wouldn’t change. They certainly looked smaller, like maybe they got mixed up with someone else’s clothes. 

“No, they look normal.” Lalo said, straining to keep a straight face. Nacho’s ass looked so good in them, and Lalo couldn’t pry his eyes away.

While Nacho was in the breakfast line he made his crew promise not to say anything about the pants, and then he watched Nacho’s ass all day, mesmerized by it.

He watched him while he lifted and while he worked in the library, bending and reaching for books. Lalo only read like 5 pages the whole time, just pretending to thumb through his book while keeping his eyes locked onto the perfect globes of Nacho’s ass.

He let his desire build up all day like some sort of edging exercise.

Finally, after dinner, he had enough.

Lalo pressed him into the side of the bunkbed, hands roaming around to his backside.

Without even a kiss Lalo bent down and pulled Nacho’s too-tight pants clean off his body, and pushed him onto the bed.

”Woah” is all Nacho manages to say before Lalo falls on top of him, pushing between his legs so Nacho’s hips are splayed wide. Lalo doesn’t even take the time to pull his own pants off, just getting them far enough down so that he can free his dick and seat it deep in Nacho’s ass.

”Lube.” Lalo orders.

Nacho is starting to get the message that he wants this to be hard and fast.

He grabs the lube from where it’s sitting above his head and quickly spreads it on himself and Lalo’s dick. Nacho braces for impact.

Lalo pushes in with a guttural moan.

Nacho breathes and adjusts himself quickly.

”What’s gotten—“ into you, he tries to ask, but Lalo puts a hand over his mouth.

Lalo starts thrusting quickly, pushing Nacho’s body down into the mattress like Nacho is trying to get away. His head is hung low to the left of Nacho’s ear.

It’s both impersonal and intimate at the same time—Lalo’s body invading Nacho’s but not even making eye contact with him.

”Those pants were too tight.” Lalo manages to say. His sentences are coming out short, staccato, in rhythm with his thrusts.

Nacho can’t voice his annoyance. He moans disapprovingly.

”Been wanting to stick my cock in you all day.”

Nacho tries to reach his dick with his hand but Lalo grabs it and holds it against the mattress.

”Your ass looked unbelieveable.”

Nacho tries to move again, and grab his dick but Lalo keeps him pinned with his body weight.

They look absolutely debauched: Nacho’s legs spread wide, his socks and shirt still on, Lalo fucking into him fully clothed with his hands over Nacho’s mouth, the other arm pinning his hand to the bed.

”Be a good whore.”

Nacho has started to pick up on Lalo’s prostitute fantasy. He’s been rolling with it, of course. They’re way past the point where Lalo’s sex talk makes him uncomfortable.

”Take it.” He repeats into Nacho’s ear. Nacho can feel his brain slip into that place that only Lalo can create—where time and space no longer exist and he has nothing to worry about—the only sensations on his mind being the feeling of Lalo inside him and on top of him. 

Lalo deepens his thrusts, and Nacho’s eyes roll back into his head and his toes curl. There’s friction on his dick but not enough to get him off.

“I’ll buy you anything you want. Just take it.”

Whatever headspace Nacho is in, Lalo is in a similar one, where his singular purpose is claiming Nacho and releasing inside of him, like he’s an animal in mating season trying to fulfill a primal urge: procreate or die trying. Sometimes he thinks that if they were to get interrupted when Lalo is like this, he would go berserk, snarling and lashing out as if defending a gazelle he just killed from scavengers.

Lalo grabs Nacho by the back of his hips and lifts his ass up, releasing his mouth and arm.

”Jesus Christ Lalo.” Lalo hasn’t fucked him like this since . . . the freezers?

“You fuck—“

“me so good.” his speech interrupted by sharp spikes of pleasure when Lalo bottoms out.

Lalo drives his hips in and out, chasing his release. He seems barely cognizant that Nacho is even there. He might as well be a sex doll.

Lalo groans, and shivers above Nacho, cuming inside him, pushing his dick as far as it can possibly go. He releases his body weight onto Nacho, and stays seated inside of him, feeling the aftershocks of an electric orgasm. Nacho doesn’t even try to move, his ass still spasming around Lalo’s dick.

They both hear the outer doors open.

Lalo looks up, and unceremoniously pulls out. Nacho groans. He’s still so hard.

Lalo quickly gets up and puts his dick back in his pants without looking back. Nacho is left in his wake, limbs jello and breathing heavy, used and slightly abused.

He pulls himself up and dresses, and joins Lalo on the balcony.

”What the fuck?” Nacho asks, pissed. Lalo isn’t usually such an inconsiderate lover.

Lalo is looking down into the atrium, and dismisses Nacho’s protests with a flick of his wrist.

”I’ll suck you off after lights out.” He says. Nacho is instantly appeased.

”Look.” Lalo says. Nacho sees that a batch of new inmates have arrived.

Lalo turns to Nacho.

”Don’t freak out.” He says. The funny thing about telling someone not to freak out is that it immediately makes them freak out.

”Carlos is back.”

Brian is resting in his cell with his eyes closed when he feels a presence next to the bed. He opens his eyes. It’s Leon, looming above him.

He instinctively sits up, and straddles Leon’s legs with his own. He looks up and opens his mouth, presenting his tongue.

There is no discussion anymore. Brian knows what Leon wants and how he wants it, and knows what might happen if he doesn’t get it.

Leon smiles down at him, and unzips.

After they had sex the second time Brian didn’t dare try to make Leon jealous again, and something must have flipped in Leon’s brain because he hasn’t tried to fuck anyone else.

After Leon finishes, he wipes the corner of Brian’s mouth with his thumb, and then pushes it inside. Brian sucks on it, maintaining eye contact with Leon. Leon is mesmerized, watching Brian swallow the remainders of his cum around it.

“Pretty boy.” He says.

Brian is hard but he won’t ask Leon to take care of him.

Leon finally pulls it out, the trance broken.

”I’m having a thing in the laundry tomorrow after dinner. Bring your little friends.”

”Ok.” Brian says, laying back down. He’s done his duty for the night. His erection is flagging, but he’ll quietly get himself off after lights out thinking about this interaction while Ana sleeps. 

Brian hears the outer doors open. He steps outside to see the new inmates. Leon is leaning over the railing looking down. He sees Lalo and and Nacho across the atrium doing the same.

A group of six inmates walk in.

“New fish.” Leon says, turning and looking at Brian, his brown eyes flashing. Brian doesn’t say anything. Leon seems to prefer his silence.

Brian turns to look.

There’s a few young guys in the group.

Anxiety pools in his stomach. He grips the railing for comfort.

Chapter Text

“Carlos? That Carlos?” Nacho asks, holding out hope the answer is no.

Lalo’s face is contorted in pain, like someone is twisting his balls.

”Yes. That Carlos.”

“You knew.” Nacho responds, suddenly realizing that Lalo isn’t surprised that he’s back, like he’s been expecting him.

Lalo doesn’t answer. He has a hard time meeting Nacho’s eyes.

Nacho walks back into their cell, leaving Lalo on the balcony.

”Why didn’t you tell me?” He practically yells, from inside the cell.

Lalo follows him in.

”You’ll wake the guards.” Lalo tries to reach for Nacho and calm him down but Nacho pushes him away.

”Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lalo backs away with his hands in the air.

”If you calm down we can talk.”

“I am calm.” Nacho says, forcefully.

”Amorcito I can see your neck vein popping out.” 

Nacho realizes that his hand is balled into a fist and that his skin is hot. He’s upset, really upset.

Lalo sits down on the edge of their bed.

“I heard rumors he might be coming back. But I didn’t know for sure. I didn’t want to upset you for no reason.”

Nacho paces inside their cell.

”From who?”

”Nacho . . . He was locked up here for 3 years. He still has friends inside.”

”Like you? Have you been talking to him?”

Nacho doesn’t know what’s happening to him but he feels crazy. Like he’s been betrayed and he wants to throw all of Lalo’s clothes in a trash can and burn them.

Lalo looks tired. “No, mi amor, I haven’t been in contact with him. I haven’t spoken to him since he left.”

Nacho looks at him, contemplating his next move. He’s mad. And he’s jealous. He’s mad that Lalo ever had a relationship before him and that Lalo kept this information from him. He goes cold.

”I’ll be in the freezers.” Nacho says, leaving the cell.

Lalo gets up and grabs Nacho’s arm, holding him back.

”I didn’t love him. Not even close.” He says.

Nacho looks at him in the eyes. He knows he’s telling the truth and that he’s being irrational but he’s having a hard time containing the pain he feels inside of him.

”Let go.”

Lalo releases him, looking like a wounded animal. Nacho almost folds, almost lets Lalo take him into his arms and tell him that he could never love anyone as much as he loves him, but manages to walk away anyway, fueled by a sense of embarrassment that everyone seemed to know Carlos was coming back except him.

He walks down the stairs and past the group of new inmates. He spares a look at Carlos. He’s young, probably around Nacho’s age, and short—maybe 5’7’’. He has a broad face and buzzed hair, a few acne scars on the sides of his temples but Nacho will admit that he’s attractive, cute even.

He turns back and walks straight into the kitchen. When he gets inside the freezer he grips the table. He suddenly realizes that Lalo has a type and that he and Carlos fit the bill.

Nacho feels his anger bubble over yet again. Fuck Lalo. Fuck Lalo and his big dick and wandering eye.

Nacho doesn’t care that he’s probably being unfair. He wants Lalo to pay.

October 29, 1998

Lalo sips his Negroni. It’s 11:15pm and he was supposed to show up at 10:30. He almost picks up the phone to cancel when he hears a knock on the door.

He rises from his seat, annoyed but also relieved. He’s hasn’t had any time in the past week to take care of himself and really needs the release.

He opens the door. A short kid with jet black hair swooped to the side is standing outside his hotel room. He has jeans and a tight tshirt on, and looks skittish, like he might bolt any second. He doesn’t make eye contact with Lalo.

Lalo eyes him suspiciously.

”Luis?” He says, using the fake name he was given over the phone.

“Si.” The kid responds, weakly.

He’s more timid than Lalo would typically like but he’ll have to do.

”Come in.” He says, ushering him in. He doesn’t want anyone to see him in the hallway.

”ID?” He demands. He likes them young but not that young.

The kid looks scared but hastily pulls his wallet out of his back pocket and nervously hands Lalo his ID.

Lalo can see that he’s 22.

Lalo hands it back, satisfied. “Bedroom’s in there.” He says, pointing to the left with his eyes.

“Si, señor.” He says, wiping his hands on his pants and swallowing his spit. Lalo wonders if this is his first time.

”Drink?” Lalo asks. He looks like he needs it.

He nods. 

”Undress. I’ll bring it to you.”

Lalo turns to the bar without waiting for a response. He hears the bedroom doors open and close.

Lalo feels the hunger grow inside him. Luis is cute, just his type, but nervous, which can be appealing, in the right circumstance. But right now he doesn’t have the patience to tame a wild animal. He just wants to get off.

He mixes a drink and heads inside. He’s still fully clothed from his work day, wearing a black shirt and black jeans, leather shoes and a belt with a big buckle.

Luis has undressed as instructed, and is sitting on the edge of the bed in tight red underwear.

He has a tight body, lean muscles and a narrow waist. Lalo drinks it in. The service he called did a good job finding someone that matches his description. 5’5’’-5’9’’, lean but not skinny, with a full ass. 

Lalo hands him the drink and watches him take a tentative sip. He watches as he swallows, watches the liquid travel down his throat.

”Gracias.” Luis grimaces. He clearly doesn’t like Negroni.

Lalo chuckles.

”Drink up.” He says.

He moves over to the dresser and begins unbuttoning his shirt in the mirror. He can see Luis quietly sipping the drink behind him in the reflection, trying not to look at Lalo’s back. Lalo briefly wonders how he got into this business and then dismisses the thought, realizing he doesn’t care. He’ll get paid either way.

He gets his shirt off, flexing his back muscles as he pulls it out of his pants. He catches Luis sneak at look at him and then quickly look away. Desire flares inside of Lalo’s brain. Something about men trying to hide their attraction to him really turns him on.

Lalo keeps his eyes locked on Luis now, who seems to be trying as hard as he can to look at anything other than Lalo.

Lalo unzips his pants, and then strips them off, along with both shoes.

Luis swallows the last of the drink.

Lalo turns around, and stalks over, taking the glass from his hand. He takes his other hand and grips Luis’s throat, not hard but enough to communicate that he’s in control.

Luis grabs his wrist but lets himself be guided by Lalo’s hand.

Lalo places the glass on the floor, and pushes Luis onto his back.

He climbs onto his knees over top of him, straddling his body.

Luis looks nervous, but not frightened.

“Stop playing shy. I know you know how to take it.”

Lalo takes his hand and places it on his crotch, his erection prominent.

He seems to have broken through whatever apprehension the kid was feeling before because his instinct takes over and he begins stroking Lalo with his hand.

Lalo moans.

Lalo has him on his hands and knees sucking his dick in less than five minutes, and then taking him from behind grabbing fistfuls of the sheets twenty minutes after that.

He even takes the time to get him off shortly after he cums inside of him. The kid looks embarrassed after, like he wasn’t supposed to do that.

Lalo pays him the agreed upon rate and an extra $100 on top. He’s feeling generous tonight. Luis smiles as he counts the cash and then quietly leaves.

Lalo makes a mental note to request him by name the next time he’s back in Guadalajara.

Present Day

Nacho tries his hardest to give Lalo the cold shoulder that evening and the next morning. It’s a bit hard in prison, when they room together, but his resolve remains strong. Lalo tries to touch him after lights out but Nacho pushes his hand away and faces the wall. Lalo stands there for a few minutes waiting to see if Nacho will change his mind but then gives up and passes out on the top bunk.

Nacho has a hard time falling asleep that night, his anger making his mind race.

The next morning he sits away from Lalo, next to Viktor. Everyone notices they’re fighting but doesn’t say anything, the vibe tense and awkward the entire time they eat breakfast.

It gets easier to ignore Lalo during rec. Nacho works out, but keeps an eye out for Carlos the entire time. He sees him sitting with Brian and Jack. Lalo keeps his distance, but Nacho knows that he’s watching him closely, trying to give him space but also staying close by in case Nacho decides to forgive him.

Carlos seems to be popular because inmates stream by and greet him warmly. Nacho doesn’t want to hate Carlos. It’s not his fault; it’s Lalo that he’s mad at. And it’s not like Carlos has the upper hand here--Nacho is basically the second most powerful person in this place and Carlos will likely have to shack up with someone to survive. 

Ana catches Nacho at the end of his workout.

”Nacho can we talk?” She asks.

He eyes her suspiciously. ”I know he sent you here.”

Ana gives him a look, that look she uses on Lalo when he’s being ridiculous and always seems to work on him.

Nacho lets go of the dumbbells.

”What?” He relents. He can be a dick to Lalo without feeling guilty but not Ana.

They end up taking a walk around the perimeter together, the rising sun making Nacho squint.

”What do you want to know?” Ana asks. The question takes Nacho off guard.

”About what?”

”About Lalo and Carlos dumbass. What else?”

Nacho thinks for a moment.

”Did you know? That he was coming back?”

Ana pauses. “Yes.”

Nacho is annoyed but at least relieved she’s willing to give him the unadulterated truth.

”For how long?”

”Two weeks, maybe longer. But we didn’t know when and we didn’t know if he would come back here.”

”Has Lalo stayed in contact with him since he left?”

”No. But Lalo got him a job when he was released. So we knew how he got busted.”

”Why did he do that?” Nacho whips his head toward her. He didn’t realize Carlos worked for him.

”I told you before. Lalo takes care of his friends. Carlos would have ended up selling himself again if Lalo didn’t find him something. But he would have done that for any of us. He doesn’t just use people and throw them away.”

Nacho’s not sure if he heard her right. “Wait, he was a prostitute?”

He thinks back to yesterday. Lalo having a prostitute fantasy can’t be coincidental.

“Sex worker is the preferred term, but yes.”

I’m going to kill him. He thinks. He was just starting to feel the anger dissipate but now it’s raging like an overflowing pot of boiling water.

“Nacho?” Ana prods him for a response.

Nacho goes silent. He doesn’t know how to process this information and needs time to think inside his head.

Ana sighs.

”I don’t know what’s going on between you two but you need to get a grip. He and Carlos were just fucking and Lalo is in love with you. He’s building you a house for fucks sake. Everyone has a past, including you.”

“Yeah but my past doesn’t involve fucking sex workers and chopping people’s heads off.”

Ana throws her hands up. “Alright I give up. You deserve each other. Good riddance.” She says, walking away from Nacho and back to the bleachers.

Nacho lets her go. He spends the rest of rec time walking alone, trying and failing to reason with his emotions.

- - - - -

Nacho is checking books out in the library when Lalo walks in. Nacho gives him a death glare. Lalo keeps his distance and takes a seat at a table furthest away from Nacho.

Nacho doesn't say hi. Even Gretchen notices. 

"Isn't that your friend?" She asks, innocently.

"No." He says.

"Oh. I thought he was nice."

"He's in the cartel." Nacho responds, suddenly wanting to puncture through the veneer of Lalo's friendly visage.

Gretchen gives him a tight smile and moves onto her next task, not wanting to know more.

An hour later, Nacho can feel his presence behind him.

"I don't want to talk." He says, not looking back.

"Mi amor, please." Lalo says. Nacho can hear the strain in his voice.

Nacho turns around abruptly.

"What?" Nacho's still feeling thorny.

"Why is this making you so mad?" Lalo asks. He honestly looks confused, and it makes Nacho feel bad, briefly.

Nacho moves along to the next shelf.

"Just tell me and I can fix it." Lalo pleads.

"You should have told me he was coming back."

"I know, amorcito. I know."

Nacho twists around to look at Lalo finally. "How are you supposed to be my boyfriend or partner or whatever and I can’t even trust you?"

Lalo reaches out and grabs Nacho's arm. Nacho doesn't move.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"You just have to trust me. That's the nature of the thing."

"Well you're making it hard."

"I'm sorry." Lalo says, genuinely.

They both stay silent.

"Ana told me Carlos was a sex worker." Nacho adds, not wanting to let Lalo off the hook for that.

Lalo rubs his neck, looking at his shoes.

"So?"

"Do I have really have to say it?"

Lalo sighs.

"If you think it has something to do with yesterday, it doesn't."

"How does it not?"

"Because . . . my desires . . . predate Carlos." Lalo manages to mumble. He looks up at Nacho's face when he finishes his sentence, to see the damage his words have done.

Nacho's eyes grow wide.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Nacho asks, getting in Lalo's face now, challenging him. Lalo backs up, pushing Nacho away.

"Nacho please. I'm a busy man, and I have needs." He straightens up, deciding he's done apologizing.

Nacho paces down the row and wrings his hands out, and then storms back up to Lalo.

"You know I used to be normal. I didn't have to worry about my boyfriend fucking sex workers on the side."

"Why are you worried about that right now?" Lalo is exasperated, trying to find a grip on Nacho's emotions.

Nacho blows up. "Because I have to! I have to worry about pleasing the great Lalo Salamanca. I always have to worry if I'm enough for you."

"Mi amor, please."

"What have you done to me?" Nacho almost yells, but keeps his voice low to avoid alarming Gretchen. He suddenly realizes how insane this whole conversation is, how insane being in a relationship with Lalo is.

"Nacho . . ." Lalo warns, using his deepest voice to signal that Nacho is treading on dangerous territory.

"Before I met you I was going to marry some woman and have kids, and be normal."

Lalo doesn't move, doesn't say anything, just holds his breath for the punch line.

"You ruined me." Nacho says, puncturing the end of his sentence by pushing Lalo back with his pointer finger.

Lalo's face drains of all affect.

Nacho's done it now. He's officially hurt Lalo, officially found his emotional kryptonite. 

This is the closest he's ever seen Lalo look like he could cry.

Nacho instantly feels guilty, and wishes he could take it back; wishes he could take it all back. It’s not true, not even remotely true. Nacho’s fate was never to be “normal.” He was extraordinary from birth and has always been drawn to extremes—joining the cartel was no accident.

"I wish you hadn't said that." Is all Lalo says, before turning and leaving. Nacho wants to reach out and grab him but the shock of Lalo's reaction keeps his feet planted firmly on the ground.

Nacho remembers what he said before, when they first met.

I am a patient man, but I am not forgiving.

Nacho wants to chase after him, wants to hold him and tell him he's sorry, do anything he can to get him to forgive him, but he can't. He has to stay and finish his shift. He watches Lalo leave the library, heading somewhere, and hopes to god Lalo has it in him to forgive.

Brian arrives in the laundry after dinner as instructed, with the 1pm crew. Carlos comes with them. Brian learns that he was an original founding member of the group.

Brian instantly likes him. Carlos is nice, thoughtful, and quiet, like him. Carlos asks him about his life pre-prison and listens, enraptured, as Brian tells him the story of the lockdown and how he escaped the Aryans.

They’re all loitering around the dryers waiting for more people to arrive when he sees Lalo come down the stairs. Brian is surprised that Nacho isn’t with him. Carlos and Lalo exchange a look. Lalo passes by them, without saying a word.

Brian turns to Carlos, eyebrows raised.

”What was that?” 

Carlos grins. “Lalo and I were . . . together before I left.”

”Oh shit you’re that Carlos.” Brian feels dumb for not putting two and two together.

”Yeah. But I hear he’s with someone else now.”

”Yeah. Nacho, although they’re usually inseparable. Where is he?” He says, looking around. Brian turns to Jack and asks him.

”Trouble in paradise.” Jack responds.

”Again?” Brian exclaims. It seems like they’re always fighting.

Carlos looks almost hopeful for a second.

”Don’t get your hopes up Carlos. Lalo is in love with Nacho.” Jack mocks.

“Lalo . . . Lalo Salamanca?” Carlos says, shocked.

”The one and only.” Kevin chimes in.

“Damn. I gotta meet this Nacho.” Carlos answers.

”He’s kind of a dick.” Brian adds, the moonshine making him feel chatty.

“Oooh Brian I love when you’re a bitch.” Jack adds, leaning in closer. “That way it’s not always me.”

Carlos gives Brian an expectant look, like he’s waiting for follow up.

”Nothing. We just used to be friends. And now we’re not.”

”Why is that?” Carlos’s eyes are focused only on Brian now. Brian feels something stir in his stomach.

”Uh Leon.” He responds, not wanting to articulate further. It’s been a sore spot for Brian lately, because he’s starting to realize that Nacho may have been right. Or at least he’s realizing that being exclusive with Leon isn’t all that he hoped it would be.

He’s very attracted to him, that hasn’t changed, but aside from the sex Leon doesn’t treat him with respect, except for the few times here and there that Leon has a real conversation with him or does something nice for him.

Brian’s realized over the past few weeks that he doesn’t really like Leon either. He’s always talking about cars or child support for his three kids, and Brian finds himself drifting off whenever he’s forced to listen to him talk to his crew, which is often because Leon keeps him close. He’s either with him or the 1pm crew or working in the laundry. He yearns for some alone time or someone more interesting to talk to. He watches Carlos and Antonio converse. There’s something about Carlos—Brian can’t put his finger on it—but it’s like he’s known him his whole life.

Brian almost jumps into their conversation when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

He turns and sees Leon.

Leon pulls him away from his group of friends to where he’s sitting with his crew. Brian internally groans. Now he has to sit and listen to them talk about something boring just because Leon wants him to sit on his lap or something. He wants the freedom that his friends have, but he knows it comes with a price. Antonio was just in the infirmary with a busted lip after one of the laundry guys didn't take no for an answer.

Leon sits on top of one of the washers and Brian takes his place between his legs, leaning his back onto the machine. Leon rests his hand on Brian’s neck and shoulder possessively. Brian stands there, sipping his drink and pretending to listen, watching his friends laugh over in the corner.

Lalo and his crew are over on the other side. He sees Lalo steal a glance at Carlos. He clearly wants to talk to him but is hesitant for some reason. Brian wonders if it has something to do with Nacho’s absence. He’s so engrossed in the drama of it all he fails to notice Leon is asking him something. He feels Leon tug one of curls at the back of his head.

”Pretty boy.” Leon repeats. Brian hates when he calls him that in public.

”What?” Brian responds, probably with too much attitude.

”Go get Jose another drink, and drop the attitude.” Leon says, pushing Brian forward.

Brian obeys.

Jose grins at him, clearly please that he’s off to serve him and Brian resists the urge to punch the smirk off his face.

When he returns he sees Lalo talking with Carlos finally. He’s keeping a respectful distance listening to him talk. Brian wants to eavesdrop but returns to Leon and Jose and hands him the drink.

He leans back into Leon. Leon’s arm falls to Brian’s side and his hand snakes under his shirt.

Brian knows Leon is thinking about fucking him later, because he’s mindlessly rubbing the area around his waistband. It’s a move he sees other guys do; signaling their desire but also making it clear to others who they own. 

Leon got his sling taken off today and now he just has a small cast on his forearm left. Brian can sense that he’s been frustrated lately by his inability to properly fuck him. At any moment Leon is going to drag him into the office but Brian wants to wait and watch what happens with Carlos and Lalo.

As if on cue, Nacho walks down into the laundry room. All eyes shoot his way. Nacho sees Lalo and Carlos talking and stops in his tracks, like he’s deciding whether to turn around and head back upstairs or face the awkward situation. He straightens up, and quickly walks past where they’re talking keeping his eyes straight forward like when you run into an ex at a party. He makes his way over to Viktor, Nestor and Lucas. 

Lalo’s attention is clearly divided now. Carlos is still talking to him but he keeps trying to sneak a glance back at Nacho. Lalo finally gives up and touches Carlos’s arm, signaling that he’s done with the conversation.

Lalo turns and walks back toward Nacho. Nacho looks pissed. He tries to move away from Lalo but Lalo grabs him by the shoulders and holds him in place. They exchange some words and Nacho again tries to wrest himself from Lalo’s grasp. Lalo is clearly frustrated, and getting angry now. He raises his voice and Brian can hear him tell Nacho to stop. Nacho shakes his head and Nacho pushes his hand down off of him once again. 

Lalo grabs him by the back of the neck like he’s scruffing a puppy and drags him into the utility closet, the one Leon uses as an office. He slams the door.

“Oh fuck not in there.” Leon whines.

Leon switches to Spanish and continues talking to Jose. He does that when he doesn’t want Brian to hear what he’s saying. Brian hasn’t told him yet that he took 10 years of Spanish in school and can understand most of what they say.

“Nacho needs his ass beat.” Leon says.

”For real. I don’t know why he tolerates that.” Jose responds.

”Not me. Got him trained well.” Leon says, clearly talking about Brian.

“I’m still surprised.”

“About what?” Leon asks.

”That you finally settled.”

”I told you, he sucks better dick than anyone here, and I was tired of worrying about getting a disease.” Leon’s grip around Brian’s hip tightens. Brian tries not to react. He really doesn’t want Leon to know he understands him, mostly because Leon would probably get mad and secondly because he likes knowing what Leon is really saying behind his back.

”Yeah. Been thinking about it myself.” Jose says. He looks behind him to where Carlos is standing by the dryers.

”I would soon. He’s a good lay. And doesn’t talk back. Before Lalo switches back.”

Brian winces, thinking about how that’s all he is to Leon, to everyone here. He’s suddenly choking back tears. He doesn’t want to get caught crying, so he takes a big swig of his moonshine, hoping that will numb the pain for the night.

”Woah there.” Leon says, switching back to English. Leon takes his empty cup and puts it next to him.

He steps down, and puts his arm around Brian’s shoulder and starts leading him toward the back of the laundry room where it’s darker.

”Come on, I have something to show you.” He says. Brian squirms; he doesn’t want to leave just yet and knows what that “something” is.

”Leon—“ he tries to come up with an excuse.

Leon’s grasp tightens. “Don’t worry, it will be worth it.” He says.

When they get to the back he pushes Brian against the defunct washers, and puts one hand on his neck, slightly tilting his chin up with his thumb forcing Brian to look at him and his other hand grabs his crotch.

”What’s with the attitude tonight, huh?”

Brian is fully at his mercy with his balls in his hands.

”Nothing, sorry.” Brian says, trying to adjust his position.

Leon starts rubbing his crotch with the palm of his hand and applies pressure to the area behind his balls, where his prostate can be stimulated from the outside, making him gasp and squirm some more.

”I think I know what you need pretty boy.”

He leans closer to Brian’s face, close enough to kiss him.

”I think you need me to make you cum on my dick, huh? Will that make you feel better?”

Brian lets out a gasp. “Leon not here.” Brian grips into his shoulders for balance.

”Huh? Then where?” Leon continues to apply pressure and Brian is struggling to maintain his composure, his erection rapidly growing.

“Want me to fuck you in the stairwell?”

Brian manages to shake his head no. He doesn’t want to be seen like that.

”No? What about my cell?”

Brian nods yes. He’s desperate. Desperate to avoid public indecency but also desperate for Leon to rail him into the wall.

”Ah that’s what you want, huh?”

Leon leans in to to kiss Brian on the mouth, but pulls away when Brian moves to meet him.

”Go upstairs and get ready for me. I’ll meet you up there.” He says, an inch from Brian's face. Leon releases his hand completely from Brian’s dick, and pats Brian’s ass.

Brian breathes in and out fully for the first time since Leon grabbed him. He holds onto Leon and doesn’t move.

”Brian?” Leon prods, leaning back to look at his face.

His head is hung low. “I can’t go out there yet.” He says. Leon looks down. Brian’s erection is still hanging on.

Leon chuckles. “Don’t worry, I got you.” Leon moves to guard him from view with his bigger body.

He takes Brian into his arms, stroking the hair at the back of his neck with one hand and cupping his ass in the other, his hand so big it almost covers it completely. It’s not making it easier for Brian to make his erection go away but being held feels so good he lets it happen.

Leon starts whispering to him in Spanish and swaying slightly back and forth.

”Too sweet. You’re too sweet for me.”

Brian doesn’t understand why Leon only says nice things to him in a language he thinks he doesn’t understand. 

”Perfect, pretty boy.” He repeats.

Brian listens to him, savors every kind word. It’s moments like this that make him think being with Leon isn’t so bad; preferable even.

Eventually he’s able to walk in public again.

As he makes his way through the laundry and up the stairs he catches Jose talking with Carlos. Carlos has his leg and foot canted outward and he’s leaning on a dryer, laughing at something Jose said. He’s clearly a pro at making men feel good about themselves. 

By tomorrow Carlos and Jose will probably be a thing. Brian is sad for him, but happy to have a friend forced to hang out alongside him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you." Lalo says, pushing Nacho into the closet and slamming the door shut.

"I'm sorry." Nacho says, catching himself before falling over the desk.

"It's like you're trying to hurt me as much as possible, more than I've hurt you." 

"I know. I'm sorry." Nacho repeats, reaching out for Lalo. He planned on coming downstairs and acting normal, but seeing Lalo talking with Carlos caught him off guard and made him act irrationally.

Lalo bats his arms away.

"No. You're not forgiven." He says, crossing his arms.

"Please." Nacho says. He's desperate now. He can't stand the idea of them fighting anymore. He needs to know, physically, that Lalo has forgiven him.

Lalo keeps him arm's length away. "You can't disrespect me like that. Even now. I have to be number one. Remember what happened last time?"

"I know." Nacho says, again. He's been wrong, so wrong, and he can't say it enough.

"I didn't ruin you." It's clear that someone told Lalo that before, and it stuck with him; a sore spot Nacho foolishly dug his finger into.

"No, you didn't." Nacho agrees, managing to grab hold of Lalo's collar. 

"Stop." Lalo commands, trying to push Nacho away.

"Please, Lalo. Please take me." Nacho begs. He's beside himself, willing to do whatever it takes to get Lalo inside of him, knowing that it's the fastest way to forgiveness.

"You don't deserve it." Lalo says, but lets Nacho lean into him, lets him bury his head into his shoulder.

"I know. I deserve to be punished." Nacho murmurs into his body.

He grabs Lalo's hand and places it on his ass.

"Punish me." He says, looking up at Lalo's face. Lalo tries to pull his hand away but Nacho keeps it there, with his hand over top.

"Punish me. Take me. Please." Nacho pleads.

They're looking into each other's eyes now. Nacho can tell that Lalo's resolve is paper thin.

"Please . . . take me." Nacho takes Lalo's other hand and places it on his face.

Lalo doesn't say anything, doesn't give him any indication that he's forgiven him.

Nacho decides to use a cheat code.

"Punish me, papi." He says, in his most seductive voice, grabbing and sucking on Lalo's thumb.

Lalo's grip on his ass tightens. His eyes flash with desire.

"Come on papi, take me." Nacho repeats.

Nacho finally, thankfully, feels himself being pushed backward toward the desk.

Lalo slides everything off the table with his arm, and Nacho lets himself be slammed onto his back.

"You're going to pay." Lalo growls.

"Please, make me pay." Nacho responds. He genuinely wants to be punished; wants to make penance for what he's done; wants to feel the hurt and see the bruises later.

"Shirt." Lalo commands. Nacho pulls it off himself while Lalo grabs his pants and underwear by the waist band and pulls them both off.

"No lube." He says, bending down and pulling Nacho's hips toward the edge of the desk. Lalo has no patience for more than two syllables.

"That's fi--" Nacho screams mid sentence, as he feels Lalo lick a wet stripe up his asshole.

"Fuck . . . fuck  . . . fuck me." Nacho stammers, grabbing onto Lalo's hair as he rims the shit out of him below.

Nacho's head falls back, and he can feel the electricity coursing throughout his entire body.

Lalo tongue fucks him, and leaves him dripping.

He stands up, his erection raging. He pulls down his pants and rips off his shirt. Nacho watches him, enraptured.

Lalo moves to where Nacho's head is and presents his dick.

"Get it wet." He says. Nacho instantly complies, and feels his own erection jump at the thrill of following Lalo's orders.

He licks and sucks Lalo's dick with fervor, keeping eye contact with Lalo who is watching it disappear into Nacho's wet mouth.

He grabs a hold of Nacho's neck and pulls him back.

"Enough." 

Nacho lays back down, and lets himself be pulled once again by his legs to the edge of the table. Lalo lines himself up and pulls one of Nacho's legs up onto his shoulder.

Lalo doesn't stretch Nacho, just pushes himself in beyond Nacho's tight rim knowing full well that at some point the spit will be gone and the burn will remain.

Nacho whimpers as Lalo bottoms out.

"Oh fuck mi puta." Lalo says. 

Nacho has to close his eyes to manage the overwhelming sensation.

"Fucking puta." Lalo says, drilling into Nacho.

"God you fuck me so good." Nacho manages to say, once he gets used to the burn. He opens his eyes and sees that Lalo's brow is wet with sweat, and he's bracing himself on Nacho's pectoral muscles.

"Nobody fucks me like you do." 

They should really be using lube, but Nacho doesn't care. He's so relieved and incredibly turned on. A little soreness is worth knowing that Lalo still loves him.

"Nobody could ever fuck me like you do." He repeats, egging him on.

Nacho can feel his orgasm building quickly, quicker than usual. He takes himself into his hand and strokes, keeping his eyes focused on Lalo and the image of him fucking his tight hole with one of his legs slung over Lalo's shoulder.

He cums, with a gasp, onto his own stomach.

"Say it again." Lalo utters, from above.

"Nobody could ever fuck me like you do." He repeats.

Lalo grabs onto Nacho's neck, and takes what he needs.

A few strokes later, and he pulls out, releasing his cum onto Nacho's stomach. He braces himself on the table, on either side of Nacho's body and catches his breath.

Nacho grins at him, waiting for Lalo to gather his wits.

"Tu puta madre." He says, pushing his sweaty hair back in place.

Nacho smiles. He's warm from the orgasm, and knowing that he's been forgiven.

Lalo grabs his face in his hand and shakes it.

"You're going to be the death of me."

Brian and Leon are laying on Leon’s bunk post-coitus when Brian decides to be brave.

”Leon?”

Leon grumbles. He’s half asleep behind Brian, with his arm laying over his waist.

“Leon . . . I don’t want to do this anymore," he forges on.

“Do what?” Leon asks, sleepily.

”This. You and me. I don’t want to be your fish anymore.”

Leon rises, and holds Brian down by the neck.

He eyes him suspiciously. “Whose dick are you trying to suck?” He demands, low and slow.

”No one. It’s not like that. I don’t want to have sex with anyone else.” Brian says quickly.

Leon releases some pressure from Brian’s neck.

”I just want to be free, like Jack or Kevin. We can still have sex.” Brian adds.

Leon’s face relaxes, and he returns to his former position behind Brian.

”No.” He says, as if he’s just been asked a benign question about the weather.

”No? What do you mean no?” Brian asks.

”I mean no.”

”I don’t get a say?” Brian's voice is practically a whine now.

”No. It’s not your call.”

”Why?”

“Because it’s mine. Plus you wouldn’t be safe.”

”My friends can keep me safe.” Brian says, his resolve wavering. He knows he’s not winning this fight.

”You’re too sweet for that.” Leon answers. His right hand snaking to pull Brian’s underwear down again, his mouth kissing the back of Brian’s neck.

”What does that mean?” Brian asks, trying to scoot away. 

Leon pulls him back, inhaling his scent.

”It means that you can never be free.” Leon murmurs.

Brian can feel Leon’s dick slot between his ass cheeks. He suddenly realizes Leon is about to fuck him again.

”Leon—“ Brian tries to say, wanting to continue the argument, but Leon sticks two of his fingers deep into Brian’s mouth. Brian gags slightly and then adjusts around them.

“Suck.” Leon commands.

Brian wants to resist but does what he’s told, like he always does, never quite capable of creating a ripple in moving water. 

Leon breaches him a second time, clearly more for emotional reasons than physical. Leon does it to show Brian that he still belongs to him but also to prove it to himself. Leon cums inside of him while Brian sucks on his fingers. When his orgasm hits Leon's index finger hooks into his bottom jaw.

Brian is sore after, and more so when he wakes up the next morning. Brian figures that was Leon’s intention--to remind him, even afterward, that he is owned.

Chapter Text

That night, Lalo dreams.

He’s laying flat on the bed he dreamed up before.

Nacho is naked above him, riding him. Lalo is propped up on a pillow and Nacho is gripping the headboard.

”Come on daddy, make me a daddy.” Nacho says, putting his whole back into it.

Lalo has his hands on Nacho’s hips, and he’s trying to concentrate on cuming but he’s having a hard time.

”Cum for me.” Nacho is urging, like he’s tired. Lalo feels tired too, like he’s just finished a long week and could fall asleep any moment.

”Work with me.” Nacho says, looking down at Lalo. Nacho’s dick is barely responding, just flopping up and down with each thrust. There's a lot of pressure on Lalo, to perform, and he's never quite been tested like this before.

They’ve been going at it like rabbits for the past few weeks trying to get pregnant. It’s been three months since they agreed to have another baby and Nacho's tests keep coming back negative. Getting pregnant with Manuel was so easy, almost dumb luck, but this second one is proving more difficult.

”I’m sorry amorcito. Just a few more minutes. I’m exhausted.” Lalo says.

Nacho has been tracking his fertility and this week is his peak, so for the past few days Lalo has been coming home late from work each night and heading straight upstairs, taking his pants off along the way and waiting for Nacho to come in and mount him. Nacho has been so determined to make it happen, allegedly because he wants to give birth in the summer and found a spot in a prestigious preschool for Manuel in the fall, but Lalo thinks that Nacho is just frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet and worried that it might never happen. Lalo told him he isn’t worried, that he could get the best fertility doctors to help them, but Nacho seemed bothered by the idea, like it would be a personal failure or something.

Nacho sighs, and grabs Lalo’s hand and puts one of his fingers in his mouth, and sucks it.

Lalo watches him, bouncing up and down on his dick and sucking on his middle finger and he can't keep his mouth shut.

“I want to cum inside you so badly mi vida. Fill you up inside.”

Lalo starts thrusting upward. "Breed you."

”Yes fill me up, please, I need it.” Nacho responds. His dick is starting to come alive.

”Yeah? You need this dick?” Lalo grabs Nacho’s ass cheeks and squeezes. Their sex has been so mechanical lately that this is a pleasant and motivating change.

”Yes, I need it--need you to-- fuck a baby into me.” Nacho pleads, taking hold of one of Lalo’s hands and rubbing it against his pecs. Lalo squeezes both. He's bobbing up and down on Lalo's dick trying to keep his spine straight and shoulders back. Nacho takes Lalo's hand and puts it on his neck and leans forward.

Lalo wants to see what he looks like underneath him. He finds some strength, and flips them so that he’s fucking Nacho into the mattress.

”You want my kids?" Lalo asks, looking directly in Nacho’s eyes as he continues thrusting, hard. Nacho's legs are hung over his shoulders and Lalo is holding him down by the neck.

"Yes, I want your babies." Nacho moans, desperately. He's stroking his rock hard dick now, clearly about to cum thinking about Lalo impregnating him.

At that admission, Lalo kisses him on the mouth and bites his tongue.

"Gonna give you a baby-- just-- hold on."

Lalo uses the last of his strength and concentrates. The last image on his mind before he explodes deep inside Nacho is the way he looks underneath him, with his eyes closed, taking it so well, desperate to make Lalo cum inside him so he can carry his child. 

Lalo relaxes his muscles and Nacho sighs below him.

They only get a moment of respite before they both hear the door knob jingle.

"Did you lock it?" Nacho quickly asks.

"No." 

Manuel bursts in. 

"Daddy daddies daddy!" He yells, running and climbing on to the bed just as Lalo manages to dismount Nacho and pull the covers over both of them. He's lucky Manuel didn't see anything.

Manuel jumps and pile drives Lalo's intestines.

"Oh ay dios mio!" Lalo grunts, grabbing his side.

"Manuel be careful." Nacho says, on his back on the other side of the bed. He reaches for Manuel. 

"Daddy why are you naked?" Manuel asks, noticing for the first time that neither have their shirt on.

"Uh we were hot." Nacho says, trying to distract him.

"I'm hot too!" He exclaims. He hates being left out of anything.

Manuel tries to strip his shirt off but it gets caught on his too-big head. Lalo helps him take it off.

"See, just like daddies." Lalo says, and kisses his head.

Eventually Manuel falls back asleep in the middle of their bed, and Lalo is able to sneak out and grab clothes for them both. They put them on and leave Manuel sleeping in their room, talking by the fire.

"I feel good about that. I think we succeeded." Nacho says, patting his stomach.

"Yeah? Did I perform well?" Lalo asks, grin on his face. He's staring at Nacho, watching how the light from the flames dances on his skin.

Nacho grins back at him, with what can only be described as pure love and a little bit of annoyance.

"Yes, yes you did."

*******

Lalo wakes from his dream and the moon is still out—it must be around 3am. He smiles and quickly falls back asleep, hoping to return to a world where life is so sweet.

Brian and Carlos are sorting clothes in the laundry. Brian is carrying bags from the sorting area up the stairs. It's by far the worst part of his job, having to carry hundreds of laundry bags up to the floor every week.

As he begins his second trip he feels himself being pulled into the shadows.

His fight or flight reflex kicks in when he's pushed down onto the ground, on top of the bags he was just carrying.

The man above him speaks. "Pretty boy." 

Brian relaxes when he realizes its Leon, but not completely. He's been nervous around him ever since their conversation a week ago.

Leon hasn't exactly been mad that Brian asked to end their relationship but he hasn't been acting normal either.

He’s been on the prowl all week, seeking Brian out, grabbing him, or cornering him twice a day, usually for sex. He's keeping a closer eye on him too, never really letting him stray too far. And everyone's been acting weird, like Leon put word out that he's extra untouchable now. 

Brian feels like he's suffocating.

The only thing keeping him sane is Carlos. Jose claimed him the morning after the party and then Lalo put him on laundry duty.

Carlos makes him feel calm, and seen, in a way he hasn't felt since he stepped foot in prison.

"Again?" Brian asks. He feels like he's been living on his back.

"Again." Leon says, pulling Brian's pants down and getting into position to fuck him.

”Leon can we wait?” He pleads, trying to grab his attention, but Leon is looking down instead of at his face, focusing on getting his dick in Brian’s ass and not listening.

"I won't be able to do this for a while." Brian tries again. Leon lines himself up.

"You can take it." He says, finally acknowledging that Brian is talking. Brian feels himself being breached for the third time in 24 hours. This is surely a record.

"Why?" Brian asks. “Why do you need this?” Leon ignores him again.

Brian's head falls to the side, overwhelmed and trying to relax. A tear streams down his cheek

Leon grabs his chin and makes him look at his face. His light brown eyes stare directly into Brian's blue ones. Brian thinks for a moment how beautiful Leon is, and how hideous he is on the inside.

"Because you’re trying to run away."

July 30, 2010

Nacho steps out of his javelin and shuts the door. It's mid-day, and the sun is at its peak. He rolls his neck around in his collar to get some air on his skin.

The guards let him through the back gates and he turns the corner to Eladio's pool. Lalo is sitting with him, sipping a drink already. 

"Ah, Nacho. Right on time." Eladio exclaims.

Both get up to greet him.

Eladio grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him away from Lalo immediately to the bar, and Eladio's staff starts making him a drink.

Lalo and Nacho finally accepted Eladio's offer to return to his property after what happened. They came up with multiple excuses, but felt that if they said "no" one more time Eladio would show up on their doorstep again.

In the meantime, they planned. They spent hours at night discussing possible moves against Eladio. They came up with and then scrapped multiple plans until they finally landed on their original one.

Eladio spends the next half hour talking at Nacho, clearly high on cocaine.

Lalo mills about in the background, watching them closely.

Lalo sees his opportunity when Eladio is facing his house and Nacho the other way. Eladio is inspecting Nacho's shirt, for some reason, and his drink is behind him on the table.

Nacho looks impatient, like he recognizes the opportunity too and is bidding Lalo to take it with his eyes. 

Lalo walks up behind Eladio casually, but quietly.

He pulls the vial out of his pocket when he's close enough for his movements to be blocked by the table, and stumbles on the chair leg, falling forward and dropping most of the vial into Eladio's drink, and then pocketing it quickly when he catches himself. 

"Sorry, Don Eladio." He says, when he turns around abruptly.

"Be careful Lalo." He looks annoyed. "No more drink for you."

Lalo puts his drink down on the table and sits down in an empty seat heavily, like he's drunk.

Eladio turns his attention back to Nacho, and Lalo and Nacho lock eyes for a second. Lalo blinks twice.

Nacho turns his attention back to Eladio; the exchange lasting only a second.

A few more hours pass. Lalo makes sure to keep refilling Eladio's drink every time it empties and Nacho keeps urging him to drink more; flirting with him, touching his arm, and making him feel like Nacho is interested. Lalo hates that this part was necessary. Nacho was the one who suggested it and Lalo resisted it for weeks, finally accepting it was necessary at the last minute.

Lalo discreetly checks his watch. It's been long enough for the drugs to take effect. 

Eladio is sitting on a couch next to Nacho and his eyes begin to droop. Nacho taps two fingers on the couch twice.

Lalo comes over.

"Eladio, you look tired. Do you want Nacho to take you to your bedroom?" He asks, slowly.

Eladio looks at Lalo like he's not quite sure who he is.

"Yes, Nacho. I want to go to the bedroom with Nacho."

His staff walk over but Lalo shoos them away.

"We'll take him back." He says. Nacho and Lalo each grab an underarm and start walking him into the house and then into his bedroom. He gets heavier with every step, clearly about to pass out.

"Hurry." Nacho says, feeling his grip slipping.

They manage to get him through the bedroom door and onto his bed face first. He's out cold.

They move him so he's able to breathe, and then wait for the staff to go to sleep.

Nacho sits near the door while Lalo checks his bedroom cabinet. He takes a picture of every medicine bottle label.

"They're asleep." Nacho says.

Lalo and Nacho quietly open the door to Eladio's bedroom and stick their heads out.

It's pin quiet, and the lights are off.

They walk around, trying to find Eladio's office. He only ever meets them by the pool.

They find a room that's locked.

"This is probably it." Lalo whispers.

Nacho gets on his knees and pulls a pin out of his pocket. "I told you this would be necessary." He says.

Lalo silently scoffs. Only Nacho would bring up how he was wrong in the middle of a heist.

Nacho is able to pick the lock and open the door.

They spend the rest of the night looking at every single piece of paper in Eladio's office, and taking pictures of important ones. They don't have time to sort through everything right now but they can review the documents later and try to paint a coherent picture of Eladio's business. Lalo only knows about a quarter of who Eladio deals with, who he distributes to, and who he's paying off to provide him cover.

When the sun begins rising they abandon the office and Nacho returns to the bedroom and Lalo to the pool.

Nacho takes off his clothes, and takes a shot of tequila and rubs some on his pulse points. He very slowly unbuckles Eladio's pants, and gets into the bed with him. When he hears him begin stirring he rolls over onto his stomach and slows down his breathing.

Eladio wakes with a groan. Nacho doesn't stir. 

Nacho can hear him sit up, and take a second to find his bearings. They left a drink and a line of coke by his bedside.

"Nacho?"

Nacho doesn't budge. Eladio pokes him in the back. Nacho tries to rise as if he was asleep.

"What?" He says, his eyes squinting at the light coming in from the windows.

"Ugh, we smell like we swam in it last night." Eladio looks through his windows to the pool area and sees Lalo passed out on the couch by the pool.

"Get up and shower." He instructs, looking at Nacho with a bit of disgust.

Nacho gets up, and holds his side, as if he's nauseous. 

"Don't throw up in there." Eladio yells behind him.

Nacho turns on the shower.

He smiles. Step one complete.

Chapter Text

Brian and Carlos spend their days following Leon and Jose around, like dogs, always two steps behind but rarely included. Brian doesn't care because it means he and Carlos get to spend time together. And in those moments, those small and dull moments at breakfast when Leon and Jose are engrossed in conversation or between rec and work when they're off attending to some business, or the two of them are in the utility closet with the rest of their friends, Brian falls irreversibly and stupidly in love with Carlos, in all the big ways and the small ways.

He loves the way that he turns his head slightly to the side when he laughs, or how he always checks the way that he looks on every reflective surface. He loves the way that he can't control how fast he speaks when he gets excited and the way he struggles to pronounce certain words because of his slight lisp.

He loves the way that he’s able to roll with the punches, no matter what life throws at him, and how good he is at listening. He loves that he remembers everything that Brian says to him, regardless of how small: his mom's name, the town he grew up in, the fact that he broke his foot when he was five. He even remembered that it was the right foot.

He loves the way that Carlos holds him, and lets him cry on his shoulder, or on his lap and strokes his hair. He loves the way that he's never once made Brian feel bad, or judged, or less than. He likes Brian the way he is, and it makes Brian like himself, and the feeling is better than any he's had before. He's content, absolutely at equilibrium, and needs for nothing when he's with Carlos.

They're sitting at lunch together, and Jose is idly eating a sandwich while Brian and Carlos face each other and talk. Carlos is telling a story about his short-lived amateur rodeo career and Brain is listening, hanging on every word as he explains how the last bull that threw him and almost broke his back was named Tiny. Jose isn't listening, as usual.

Carlos finishes his story, and when Brian turns back toward the table he sees that Leon is watching them, leaning on the counter by the sandwiches. Leon doesn't break eye contact with Brian when he notices. Brian has no idea how long he's been standing there, but feels uncomfortable, like Leon can somehow read his thoughts. He doesn't know what would happen if it got out that he was in love with Carlos. But the idea that Leon would know is ridiculous—Carlos doesn't even know he's in love with Carlos.

Brian looks down and picks at his sandwich. He feels Leon sit down next to him a few seconds later and doesn't look up or greet him. Carlos and Jose are quietly eating next to them, unaware of the tension.

Leon puts his arm around Brian's waist and pulls him into his side. Brian stiffens at his touch. Leon seemed to calm down after the laundry room incident but he still doesn't feel safe around him since he made clear he has no intention of honoring Brian's boundaries when it doesn't suit him.

"What's going on in your head pretty boy?" He hums into Brian's ear.  

Brain closes his eyes. It's easier for him to lie when he concentrates.

"Nothing." He whispers.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Leon responds, pulling him from his seat so that he's sitting on his left thigh. Brian feels like a child when Leon does this.

Brian and Carlos developed a playbook for these types of moments. Carlos has taught him a lot about the psychology of insecure men. When they act out, they're looking for reassurance. When they get angry, use redirection. Never challenge them and only ask for what you want indirectly by making them think it's their idea. Make them feel secure but not too secure, or else they get bored.

Brain makes the conscious decision to relax into Leon's embrace, putting his head between Leon's jaw and shoulder. He plays with Leon's right hand. "I was thinking about you." Brian lies.

"Oh yeah?" Leon squeezes him slightly. 

"Yeah. Carlos was telling me about an old client, and something they used to do." Brian doesn’t have the faintest idea what he’s talking about, but figures he can make something up later.

Leon shrugs Brian's head off his shoulder and grabs him so he can look at his face. He's taken the bait.

"And what was that?" Leon's pupils are slightly dilated from excitement.

Brian smiles mischievously. "I can show you later."

Leon abruptly stands up, lifting Brian up with him as if he weighs nothing. Brian squeaks and then finds his footing on the ground.

"We’re going now.” Leon says, gruffly, with hunger in his voice. He starts pulling Brian backward toward the door. Carlos and Jose are left behind at the table, looking at them as they leave quickly without saying goodbye. Carlos gives him a tight smile, something that communicates that he's sorry, and that he'll be there for him later, when Brian needs a shoulder to cry on.

“What time is it?” Lalo asks, for the third time this morning.

”I’m not telling you.” Nacho responds, laying on the top bunk reading a book. It’s day three of the guard strike and they’ve been stuck in their cell for 65 hours and counting, and Lalo is starting to lose his mind.

He sighs, plopping himself down on the reading chair in a slump.

”If I don’t get outside soon I’m going to start a fire in here. Then they’ll have to let us out.”

“That’s a horrible idea.” Nacho says, barely listening. Lalo is starting to drive him crazy, even though he’s been handling being cooped up fairly well, better than Lalo at least.

“What the fuck could be taking this long to negotiate? Just give them their overtime and move on with it.” The guards went on strike after contract negotiations broke down. The prison is being manned by a skeleton crew of supervisors and administrative staff, and a few chosen inmates who the guards deem trustworthy enough. Lalo and Nacho unsurprisingly didn’t make the cut.

”I don’t know. Just try to relax.” Nacho says.

Lalo gets up from the chair and starts rearranging the books again, for the seventh time.

Nacho massages the bridge of his nose. He would love some peace and quiet for a few hours to read and meditate.

”Come here.” Nacho calls to him.

Lalo looks over at him, like a dog that just heard its owner say “walk.”

”Lay down.” He orders. Lalo grins, drops the books in his hand and assumes the position on the bottom bunk. Nacho climbs down the ladder.

“You’re like a fussy toddler, you know that?” Nacho says, stripping his pants off.

Lalo laughs. “Hmm well come here and put me to sleep.” He says, arms outstretched.

Lalo watches intently as Nacho mounts him. He strokes himself to hardness and Nacho scoots up toward his face and presents his dick.

Lalo looks up at him expectantly.

“Now suck.”

September 13, 2010

Lalo’s hands are steady but he’s sweating as he takes the bag out of his pants and finds the corresponding bottle in Eladio’s cabinet. He can hear Eladio talking with Nacho through the phone. Nacho has his on in his pocket so Lalo can hear if Eladio or his staff move inside. He empties the pills into his pocket and transfers the replacements into Eladio’s bottle, carefully counting each one to make sure it matches. He doesn’t have time but it needs to be exact.

He hears a door opening and Nacho loudly saying that he needs to take a piss through the speaker.

Nacho meets him at the bedroom door. Lalo almost jumps when he sees him, thinking it’s Eladio or one of his staff. They both head into the guest bathroom. 

“What the fuck is taking you so long? Eladio is going to notice you’re missing.”

“Yeah we should cover.” Lalo says. He looks at Nacho, and starts wrinkling his shirt and unbuttoning one of his buttons. He messes with his own hair and crumples up the bottom of his shirt.

”What are you doing?” Nacho hisses.

”I’m making it look like we came in here to have sex, ok, don’t be so slow.” Lalo looks out the window and sees Eladio talking with Carlos still.

They brought him along to distract Eladio, and thankfully it’s working.

"How is this better than getting caught rifling through his cabinets?" Nacho instinctively tries to smooth out the wrinkle in his shirt and Lalo bats his hand away. 

"Don't worry, I have a plan." He says, looking at Nacho with a worried brow, like he hasn’t fully convinced himself. 

Lalo inspects Nacho one last time. “Try to look like I just rocked your world, ok.” He says, and leads them out the door.

Present Day

"How many more loads?" Brian yells to Carlos over the thrum of the machines.

"20.” He yells back.

Brian exhales. They've been working nonstop for almost three days doing the laundry for the entire prison and Brian is exhausted. He's never worked this hard in his entire life.

Leon and Jose are off doing god knows what, and Carlos and Brian have been doing the work of four men, which on a normal day is the work of 12. After the strike was announced CO Scott picked the inmates that would be required to continue their work detail while everyone else remained in their cells until the strike ended. 

Leon and Jose made the list and were allowed to pick two other inmates to help them and of course picked Carlos and Brian because god forbid they go without sex for any period of time. Brian would rather this than being stuck in his cell, but right now he's pissed. Where is Leon? If he and Carlos have to carry all 60-some bags upstairs by themselves they'll pass out.

Carlos walks over with a pack of cigarettes and hands one to Brian. He lights his cigarette with a match and takes Brian's hand into his own, so he can light his. Brian watches him bend down and connect them at the tip. It's such a momentarily sensual act and Brian is enraptured. He forgets to actually smoke the cigarette once it's lit.

"Brian?" Carlos asks. Brian snaps out of it. "Sorry. Daydreaming." He covers and takes a drag.

Carlos leans onto the washers with his back leg propped up and looks straight ahead. Brian watches his face as he inhales and exhales the smoke and wonders if anyone has ever looked this cool before. His strong jaw, his perfect nose, and the way his eyes are slightly dark and drowsy from lack of sleep. Since Carlos arrived a few weeks ago he's already started packing on a bit of muscle, and Brian has noticed. He can't tell if he wants to be with Carlos or be Carlos. Maybe both. 

"Did Leon climb on top of you last night?" Carlos asks.

"No, thankfully. He was too drunk." 

"Lucky you." 

Because they've been working such late hours the guards let them sleep in the laundry room and haven't been checking on them, so last night Leon and Jose got rip roaringly drunk. Brian and Carlos got high and spent the night laughing and joking with each other. Around midnight Jose grabbed Carlos and dragged him into the utility closet and proceeded to loudly fuck him for 30 minutes. Leon stumbled over to Brian's cot but passed out face first next to it before he could get to Brian. Brian was grateful, but having to hear Carlos have sex with Jose was practically torture. He could tell his moans were fake, put on for the sole purpose of getting Jose to cum quicker. In his dream scenario he would be strong enough to burst in there and push Jose away, and make him watch as he made Carlos really moan.

He spent most of the night thinking of ways to get them out of their sex contracts and the various ways he could confess his love to Carlos, and then suddenly he could see the sun peek through the sliver of a window above the washing machines.

He rose, and checked to make sure Leon was still breathing and walked to the pile of clothes waiting for him. He tried not to look but caught a glimpse of Carlos and Jose sleeping next to each other. Carlos was on his back with Jose's arm draped over him. He took it like a punch to the gut.

Carlos finishes his cigarette, and puts it out on the windowsill. "I'll start carrying bags upstairs."

Brian continues sorting and throwing clothes into the open washers. He's bending down when he feels a body press up against his ass. He shoots up.

"Morning." Leon's arms snake around his body. Brian feels his pulse quicken. Leon smells like a bottle.

"Missed you last night." Leon says into Brian's ear. Brian can feel his erection poking into his back. Clearly he woke up hungover and horny.

Brian thinks about how to play this.

"Yeah, well you were too drunk."

"Well I'm not now." Leon hums, and starts kissing the back of Brian's neck. Brian finds himself growing angry. He's doing Leon's job and Leon expects him to drop everything and fuck him too?

"Leon we need to work." He says, shrugging him off.

Leon grabs his hand.

"We have all day." He says, and pulls him backward, undeterred.

"Leon come on, help me. You didn't do anything yesterday and Carlos and I are tired."

Leon tightens his grip on Brian's wrist and Brian yelps.

"Do you think you’re in charge here?” He asks, warning Brian.

Brian looks him in the eyes. He's tired, and he's sick of Leon's shit, and the nicotine is making him feel wired.

"Then fucking do something." He says, forcefully.

Leon looks pissed, and Brian quivers, not knowing if this is the moment where Leon is finally going to hit him. He wishes he would, wishes it was like with Anders, then he wouldn't have to hate himself for giving into Leon, for liking it, for cuming every time.

Instead, Leon walks over to the big pile Brian was working on before and starts throwing heaps of clothes into the washer, not stopping to sort them, going faster and faster.

"Is this what you wanted, Brian?" He says, picking up his pace. Brian can see his back and arm muscles flex as he throws the clothes into the washer. He watches, mesmerized. Leon moves onto the next pile.

”Leon stop.” Brian says.

This is what he wanted. This has been their game for the past few weeks. Leon pushes Brian to the edge, and then Brian pushes Leon's buttons until Leon flips out and turns Brian on, and then Leon fucks him. They both know its happening but haven't been able to stop themselves. The sex is so beautifully violent; so magnetic. Something to get lost in.

Sweat is starting to form on his brow. "Let me take care of this for you, honey." Leon's been making comments like that recently, as if they're married.

“Leon.” Brian weakly says, knowing it will go ignored.

"Will you let me fuck you now? Huh?" He's taunting him, making his complaints seem trivial. Brian’s skin is getting warmer.

He gets all of the laundry into washers and slams the start button. He imagines Leon slamming him down with the same amount of force. That was at least another hour of work he finished in two minutes. 

Brian shivers and leans on the washers. He's pissed him off good now, and the mixture of anticipation and seeing Leon demonstrate his physical prowess is making him feel like he'd let Leon do anything to him.

"Did I do good?" He asks, boxing him in. Brian tries to push him away but Leon grabs his hand and pins it against the washer. He wishes he could unpack why making men angry turns him on so much, but there's no time.

Brian looks away, knowing that he's one piercing gaze from submission. He tries to steady his breath.

Leon grabs his chin. Brian meets his eyes and sees his future in Leon's gaze; sees himself moaning and writhing underneath him.

"Tell me I did good." He commands.

Brian folds.

"You did good."

Leon grabs him by his legs and lifts him up. Brian's painfully hard, and so is Leon. Brian bends to kiss him, obstructing his view.

He carries him over to to the closest surface and places him down, grabbing Brian's face and kissing him back. Leon's mouth tastes like moonshine and he smells like himself; like he's on the verge of needing a shower. He smells like a man, and men are his kryptonite.

“Do you like pissing me off?” Leon asks, pulling Brian’s shirt off.

Brian pulls Leon’s off in turn. They’re frenzied now, rushing to collide with each other.

”Yes.” Brian says, shimmying his pants over his ass and letting Leon pull them down the rest of the way.

”You like when I fuck you like this?” 

Brian reaches down Leon's pants and grabs his dick. 

"Yes." Brian is so far gone. He would say anything to make sure Leon gets him on his knees.

"Take it out." Leon commands.

He pulls down Leon's pants for him, and releases his dick from his clothes.

Leon grabs the back of Brian's neck.

He instinctively drops to his knees and lets Leon throat fuck him as his head presses against the edge of the table. He strokes himself the entire time, remaining on the edge of climax so he can do it during the main event.

Leon does not hold back--fucking him hard and deep. Brian's gotten really good at giving head since Leon claimed him.

"Oh fuck you're so good." He continues thrusting. "So good at this." 

Brian's jaw is starting to hurt and he's looking up at Leon's face for any indication that he's ready to fuck him.

Leon pulls out, and Brian alternates his jaw back and forth and closes it, feeling instant relief.

"Cot." Leon says, and picks Brian up again and carries him over to their sleeping area. Carlos or Jose could come in at any moment but Brian can't bring himself to care. He's on the edge of release and needs to get this out of his system, so he and Leon can start the cycle all over again.

Leon places him on the floor with his blanket and pillow. He watches as Leon pulls his pants off, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time. Brian squirms below.

"You're so pretty, pretty boy." Leon says.

"Oh yeah?" Brian wants him to say it again.

"Yeah. You're perfect, you know that?" Brian has learned that he loves being praised while being fucked, especially while Leon is looking at him like he's the only thing that could ever satisfy him; like he's never going to let him go.

Leon descends on him, kissing him fervently while feeling around for the lube.

Brian feels Leon push his legs open wide and press a wet finger into his ass. He relaxes his legs.

One finger, then two go in easily.

On the third he grips Leon's forearm but manages to stay relaxed.

"You're gonna take me." Leon states. Brian never feels ready enough, but when Leon's done he's done and there's nothing he can do to stop him. His skin feels fuzzy, and he nods up and down. He gets so turned on when Leon makes it clear that he exists for Leon's pleasure, and not the other way around.

Leon gets in position to fuck him, and Brian holds his breath.

When Leon pushes halfway in Brian yells "fuck" loudly. Loudly enough to scare a flock of birds.

"Let me hear it pretty boy." Leon urges him on.

He gets fully seated and Brian's toes curl. Leon stills for a moment and then starts moving. Brian is grateful, because the movement distracts from the pressure. He starts stroking himself again. 

"You gonna cum on my dick?" Leon asks. He loves when Brian does it, usually not letting him cum any other way.

Brain is close. He strokes become quicker and Leon picks up his pace in rhythm with Brian. He starts hitting his prostate in the most sensational way.

"I'm going to cum." Brian moans. He can't hold it any longer.

Leon slams into him, pushing Brian over the edge. He releases onto his chest with a exaggerated exhale. "Fuck," he says, looking down at what he did.

Leon keeps fucking him, and swipes some of the cum on his finger and shoves it into Brian's mouth. He swallows it without realizing what it is and then grabs onto Leon's wrist to stop him. He tries to hold on for longer but Leon continuing to hit his prostate as he recovers from his orgasm makes him weak and Leon swipes the rest and gets it into Brian's mouth, which he swallows obediently.

”Good boy.” Leon praises.

It's a move so hot he thinks he might go cross-eyed. He's so overstimulated and needs Leon to cum soon. He wraps his legs around Leon's back pulling him in closer.

"You want me to cum?" Leon asks. He wants him to beg.

"Yes, please. I can't take it any longer." Brian begs.

"Where?"

"Inside me." Brian says. When things get rough he prefers that because it makes him feel like he and Leon are in a real relationship; like there's actual love and trust between them.

It's too much for Leon, and shortly he loses his rhythm and falters, cuming deep inside of Brian with a gasp. Brian takes a full breath for the first time since Leon breached him. 

"Fuck I think I love you." Leon says, basking in the glow of an intense orgasm.

Brian winces below. That can't be true. That's just his dick talking. He says to himself a few times.

Leon pulls out, and inspects his work. Brian's got his hands over his face as the shame of what he let Leon do washes over him. 

Leon pushes some of his cum back inside and Brian tries to get on his hands and crawl away but Leon pushes him back down by the stomach.

"Stay." He commands, and Brian flops back down and lays his arm over his eyes. Leon makes him feel like he has no agency; like he's some sort of robot programmed solely for his pleasure which he unfortunately finds very very hot.

"Fuck your ass is so tight." Leon says, fingering him below. 

"If you were a woman I'd marry you." He adds, transfixed.

Brian groans. "Leon don't say shit like that."

"Well its true." He says, and pulls his finger out finally.

Brian feels clothes land on his body and he opens his eyes. Leon is already getting dressed. He turns back and looks at Brian.

"Now get dressed and get me a sandwich."

September 13, 2010

They walk back to the pool and Eladio notices something is off immediately.

"Where were you?" He asks, jealously, like he missed out on something.

Lalo grabs Nacho by the waist. Nacho represses the urge to push him away. They don't usually show affection at work, especially not in front of Don Eladio.

"We just wanted some alone time. It's our anniversary." Lalo says, with a cheeky smile.

Nacho shoots him a look. It's definitely not their anniversary, and he's not quite sure what Lalo's plan is here.

Eladio smiles, but almost compulsively, because he knows its socially expected to congratulate someone in this situation.

"Ahh how nice. The young lovers." He sing-songs. 

Carlos shoots them a nervous look. This wasn't part of the plan. He was there to keep Eladio distracted and away from Nacho up to the point where he had to fuck Eladio--Brian would kill him, and then Viktor was going to call Lalo with a fake emergency so they could all leave before anything happened.

"I have a wonderful idea." Eladio says, his eyes lighting up with evil intent.

"Why don't we all spend the weekend in my beach house, all expenses included, my treat!"

Lalo replies before Carlos or Nacho can.

"Oh how wonderful. We accept." He says, squeezing Nacho's hip. Nacho's trying not to look surprised but he has no idea what Lalo's plan is. Spending a weekend alone with Eladio in his vacation home with no ability to leave sounds like the exact situation they're trying so hard to avoid.

"Well it's set. I'll send for your things. We'll leave tomorrow." He says.

Carlos's eyes are wide next to Eladio and Nacho's face is blank. Lalo and Eladio are smiling at each other, each thinking they have the upper hand.

Lalo's hand slides to Nacho's ass. "Perfect."

Chapter Text

Nacho nods along cordially for the rest of the evening but when he and Lalo are finally alone together in Eladio's guest bedroom he practically assaults him.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" He asks, backing him into a corner.

"Relájate." He says, and side steps Nacho, starting to undo the buttons of his shirt. "I did a little improvisation. Okay, but I think this is going to work. The doctor said that his chances of having an 'episode' are highest in the first 36 hours off the medication, so I thought maybe we could ensure that happens with some . . . extracurricular activities."

"Do these 'extracurricular activities' involve him fucking me again?" Nacho keeps his voice down but if they were at home he would be yelling.

Lalo's face falls, and turns serious. He grabs him by the shoulders. "Nacho, no. Never. I'll never let him touch you. I'll shoot him right here before that happens again." He says, putting a finger on his temple. It's not lost on Nacho that was Lalo's original plan, but he talked him out of it.

"I meant like drugs, and lots of drinking, stuff that gets his heart racing, you know. We'll goad him into it--and then he'll have a heart attack, hopefully, and we'll be here when that happens, which makes our little succession plan work better too." Nacho doesn't look convinced. "Think about it. We'll be the ones to make the call telling everyone what happened, and we know how to run the business without him now. We'll take over, temporarily, and then of course, permanently." He explains.

Nacho agrees that if they can get Eladio to have a heart attack, that would increase the chances that Lalo will be installed in his place--but that's a big if, with a lot of risk involved. Like both of them standing in front of a shallow grave and getting their brains blown out kind of risk. 

"This wasn't the plan." He says, following Lalo into the bathroom.

"I know. But we've done things your way and I thought I would add a little of my spice to the pot."

This is the biggest source of contention in their relationship—Nacho's phobia of taking big risks and Lalo's affinity for it. Nacho is constantly worried that one day Lalo is going to walk himself into a situation he can't get out of.

Lalo is leaning on the sink, his heel dug into the ground.

"Come here." He says, beckoning Nacho closer.

Nacho doesn't want to. He's still pissed that Lalo changed their whole plan out of blue and that he's going to have to spend the entire weekend with Eladio.

"Come here." Lalo repeats, more of a command this time.

Nacho hesitates, thinking fondly about what Lalo might do if he refuses—most likely pushing Nacho up against the shower wall and fucking him roughly—but instead he complies, and lets himself be held. He never asks for this but Lalo always knows when he needs it. Sometimes he fucks Nacho roughly just because he knows that's the only way to get him to relax enough to accept affection.

He melts into his embrace, comforted by his scent and by the intimacy.

"I love you, Nacho. More than anything. More than anyone. You are my life."

Nacho's chest tightens. "Eladio is going to die this weekend. And you’re going to get the satisfaction of watching him writhe on the ground with the knowledge that we did this to him, and that he deserves it." Nacho grips his back, and buries his head in his chest. He wants nothing more.

"He's pathetic, and worthless. And I'm going to make sure you get to spit on his face before the light drains from his eyes."

Nacho starts kissing his neck, so turned on that this man loves him so much that he would kill for him. Turned on by how brutal and vindictive he can be. Turned on by his violent mind and body, by how his vein forehead pops out when he talks about killing or how his grip automatically tightens whenever someone or something gets close to Nacho, close to threatening him. All of these micro gestures that suggest that Lalo is over-protective, over-bearing, and still so in love with him. He wants to drink it; wants to swallow everything that Lalo has to give him. Wants to swim in his scent and bask in his gaze. 

Lalo meets his mouth with his own, swallowing his tongue. They’re both revved up and need release, realizing that if it’s going to be their last weekend alive they might as well make it memorable.

Lalo grabs his ass, and pushes him against the wall. Nacho moans into his mouth. His erection is pushing roughly into Lalo’s hip. He wants Lalo to take him—to use his body for his pleasure—so he can get outside of himself for at least the night; forget about what they have to face when the sun rises tomorrow morning.

Lalo leans into him, and kisses his neck, snaking his hand up Nacho’s shirt.

”Let me fuck you?” He asks. “I need you. Need your body.”

Lalo pushes Nacho’s leg wider and forces his knee between his legs, pushing up against his crotch.

Nacho moans into his mouth. When things are chaotic Lalo needs to feel in control by dominating him. By telling him to get on his knees or on his back and watching Nacho comply without hesitation. By making Nacho quiver; by taking him in unexpected places and unexpected ways. By bringing home little treats and things for Nacho to wear or to make him moan. Never dull, never boring, always inventive.

And Nacho needs to release the tension by letting Lalo dominate him; letting him take his mouth or his ass and make him feel like a piece of meat instead of a person with agency and decisions make—decisions that could mean life or death.  

Nacho drops to his knees in front of him, so he’s trapped between Lalo's crotch and the wall. He makes himself salivate, ready to take Lalo to the hilt and breathe in his musk for the next 20 minutes instead of the clean air.

He looks up. Lalo's mouth is open, in awe of the man below him, his eyes heavy with lust. He’s waiting for Nacho to grant him permission to annihilate him. To grind him into a submissive mess, to deny him his pleasure and make him beg for Lalo’s cock like it’s the antidote to his poison. 

“Use me.” Nacho says, meeting Lalo’s gaze.

Lalo licks his lips hungrily. He takes Nacho’s chin in his hand and lightly grazes Nacho’s cheek with his thumb, admiring his face.

”I’ll die before anyone else gets to see you like this.” He says, and means it.

Nacho swallows, suddenly nervous. He’s genuinely scared they aren’t going to make it out alive.

Lalo sticks his thumb in Nacho’s mouth, which he sucks with fervor.

”You’re the love of my life Nacho.” He unzips his fly.

”Now suck.”

Present Day

Nacho and Lalo are lying on the bottom bunk shirtless. Nacho is laying on Lalo's chest and playing with his hand. Lalo is looking aimlessly up at the top bunk. They've run out of drugs and alcohol, and their only form of entertainment is sex, reading, and more sex.

"Have you ever been in love before?" Nacho asks, aimlessly.

"Only once." Lalo says.

"Tell me about it."

Lalo breathes in and out slowly. He hasn't thought about Adam in over ten years, and certainly hasn't talked to anyone about it since, well . . . ever.

Lalo embraces Nacho, and kisses his forehead.

"I was 25, and getting my MBA from UCLA. His name was Adam."

"A gringo?" Nacho asks with surprise in his voice. 

Lalo laughs. "Yes, my first, and only."

"What was he like?" Nacho asks.

"Hmmm . . . smart and fierce, like you. But not so introverted. He was in a PhD program, studying ecology, a do-gooder type." 

"I can't picture it." Nacho says.

"I know. It was never going to work. But my god did he have a nice ass."

Nacho laughs. "Nice to know you haven't changed." 

"No. Not at all. I've always been an ass man." He grins, grabbing Nacho's left cheek in his hand and squeezing. 

Nacho nuzzles his head into Lalo's neck, feeling spent from already having cum twice this morning but turned on nonetheless.

"What happened? How did it end?" He asks.

"With a 10-car pileup." Lalo says, bitterly. "Literally."

"Wait, did he die?" Nacho asks, sitting up and looking at Lalo's face. He didn't think that was how the story was going to end.

Lalo looks at him.

"Yeah. A month before he was supposed to defend his thesis. We had already broken up, because I knew it wasn't going to work—he didn't even know I was from a cartel family. So I pushed him away, even though I loved him." Lalo's eyes go somewhere, and Nacho feels himself feeling sad instead of jealous.

"He was persistent, though. He knew I was hiding something." His eyes are cloudy.

"So I had to say terrible things to him; horrible, horrible things. Things I didn't mean and weren't true. To finally get him to leave me." 

Nacho starts stroking Lalo's hair, to comfort him.

"And then he died. In a car crash. Thinking that was the truth; that I really thought those things about him, about his life."

Nacho feels a sympathetic tear stream down his face.

"I never got to tell him the truth. And I regret it, one of the few things about my life . . . that I would change."

Nacho can tell that Lalo is in physical pain trying to tell this story.

"I secretly paid for his funeral . . . but couldn't bring myself to actually go."

"I'm sorry." Is all Nacho can think to say.

A few seconds pass where neither say anything.

Lalo wipes the tear from Nacho's face with his thumb.

He switches to Spanish. "I'm so lucky. I don't deserve you, but I don't care. I'll never let you go."

Nacho leans into Lalo's hand. He forgets they're in prison, forgets they're on hour 72 of a lockdown, forgets about life outside of these four walls. All that matters is being in Lalo's embrace.

"Don't, Lalo . . . Don't ever let me go."

Brian collects himself before heading to the cafeteria to grab lunch for the four of them. Huell is there prepping trays.

"Hey Brian, how's the laundry?" He asks, chipper even though he looks like he hasn't slept in three days.

"It's fine, a lot of work." He responds, and grabs a stack of sandwiches to take downstairs.

"Hey, you let me know if you need anything, alright?" Huell says, looking concerned, like he doesn't trust that he's safe.

Brian is caught off guard. "Oh, okay. I will, thanks. Thanks Huell." He says, stumbling through the conversation. 

He walks out, trying to decipher what—or who—could be scaring Huell. 

- - - - -

When he gets downstairs Carlos is hard at work and he can see the door to the utility closet propped open, a dim light on inside. Leon must be in there with Jose.

He approaches the door with the tray and his ears pick up on their conversation. 

They're speaking in Spanish. Something compels Brian to stand there and listen without announcing himself.

"Who do we need to bribe?" Leon asks.

"Hanson, maybe Jacobs." Jose answers.

"Yeah but Jacobs doesn't take bribes." Leon responds.

"Hanson, then?" Jose asks.

"Yeah. We know what he likes."

They both laugh.

"Brian?" Jose asks.

"He would say no." Leon quickly responds.

Brian is hanging on every word now, trying to figure out what they're talking about out and why he's involved.

"Ok so we don't tell him." Jose says.

Leon sighs.

"Wait. You like him, don't you." Jose jokes.

"Yeah, I like my bitch." He says, sarcastically. "No, that's not it. Just ask Carlos, ok, he'll be easier."

"Fine. But I get to increase my cut."

Leon talks a while to respond. "Ok. Fair." He says.

Brian fidgets, accidentally throwing a shadow on the ground.

They both go silent.

"Brian?" Leon calls.

Brian tries to pretend he just walked up.

"Yeah. Food." He says, pushing open the door.

Leon looks at his face, trying to see if Brian heard or understood any of what they just said. 

He puts the tray on his desk, and looks nervously at the both of them and then turns to leave.

"Wait." Leon says.

Brian stops in his tracks. He turns around slowly, bracing for what's about to come.

"Aren't you going to take some." Leon asks, motioning to the sandwiches.

Brian breathes a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, sorry." He says, and grabs two.

"Thanks."

- - - - -

He spends the afternoon mulling over what Huell said and what he overheard. It sounded like Leon and Jose are trying to bribe the guards for something.

We know what he likes.

Sex? The fact that Leon seemed hesitant to make him do it doesn't impress him; he'd probably sell him for a pack of cigarettes if he needed to.

"Hey Carlos. Does Hanson fuck inmates?" He asks.

"Uh, yeah. I think he likes a twink from time to time. He harasses the shit out of Anna. Why?"

Brian looks behind him to see if Leon and Jose are still in the closet.

"They're going to ask you to suck his dick, I think, I don't know what for." 

Carlos rolls his eyes.

"Figures." 

Brian looks at him, wanting to save him from Jose, save himself from Leon, save them both from prison, but knows he can't. He settles for a distraction.

"Wanna go get high?"

- - - - -

They go into the stairwell, and light the last joint Brian has.

10 minutes later they're giggling like schoolgirls, and they've both forgotten about the piles of laundry left for them to do and the fact that Leon and Jose are trying to pimp Carlos out.

They're laughing about something stupid and Brian trips on a broom and falls backward onto his ass. Carlos bursts out laughing, unable to contain himself.

Brian laughs, and extends his arm so Carlos can pull him back up, but when Carlos grabs him by the forearm Brian pulls him down to the floor too.

They both fall onto their backs, too high to be grossed out.

"That's what you get, fucker." Brian says, jokingly. He's really embraced cursing lately. His grandma must be rolling in her grave.

They stifle the last of their giggles and go nonverbal for a while, their high peaking.

Brian feels the tip of his finger touch Carlos's palm accidentally. 

Then he feels Carlos's finger tentatively touch his wrist.

He looks over at Carlos's face. His eyes are closed.

He feels a second finger touch his pulse point.

Brian turns his head back toward the ceiling, and closes his eyes. He musters up courage, and grabs Carlos's hand, intertwining their fingers and holding his breath. Carlos doesn't jerk back. Brian exhales.

They stay like that for a while, feeling the heat of each other's skin, finding comfort in it. Carlos has held Brian before, but it was never reciprocal, and it was never romantic.

Brian can feel every muscle in his body relax. This is all he's wanted for weeks; to touch Carlos like this—to communicate that he wants to be more than just friends. He almost drifts out of consciousness—content to fall asleep just holding hands on a dirty floor—when he hears his name being yelled.

He shoots up. They look at each other, sobering up quickly. Brian has no idea how much time has passed.

"Brian!" He hears again. It's Leon.

He walks back into the laundry room before Carlos, who hangs back to stagger their arrival, and sees Leon standing by the piles.

"Where the fuck were you?" Leon asks.

"I . . . I was in the bathroom."

"The fuck? For an hour? Scott is going to skin you alive if this isn't done soon."

"Alright, sorry. I'll do it."

Carlos walks back into the room finally.

Leon looks at them both. It's obvious from the way they smell and their blood shot eyes that they were getting high together.

"I'll see you later." Leon says, giving Brian the look. The one that says he's going to be eating dick for dinner, breakfast, and lunch. He leaves them without saying anything else, heading toward the stairwell.

Brian huffs, and then starts pulling clothes out of dryers into the sorting pile. A minute or two passes—Brian's not sure, and then he hears Carlos say his name.

"Brian."

Brian turns around. Carlos's eyes are still red, but he has a serious look on his face.

"Do you love me?" He asks. Brian's breath hitches. He had no idea that Carlos sensed anything. Had no idea he was being so transparent.

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. What is he supposed to say, no?

"That's a stupid thing to do." Carlos says, seeming to take Brian's silence as a yes. He lets his words hang in the air like dust.

The moment passes, and Carlos bends down to throw clothes in the washer, without saying more, without explaining, without saying, "I love you too, Brian" like he's said in Brian's dreams a hundred times before.

Brian feels like he's been punched in the chest. Then he grows indignant. No one gets to tell him who he loves. Not Leon—not even Carlos.

"I don't care." He responds. Loving Carlos can't be any stupider than trying to smuggle heroin across the border, or goading a psycho into claiming him.

Carlos looks up at him. "You don't know what you want." He seems to be insinuating that Brian lacks the balls to leave Leon, or that he doesn't really want to. Brian grows angrier.

"Don't patronize me."

Carlos is about to say something back, but Jose walks in.

"Carlos."

Carlos and Brian look at each other, their anger replaced by apprehension. They both know what this is about.

"Come on." He says, motioning for him to follow. 

Brian doesn't know what comes over him, but he suddenly feels a strong desire to throw himself on the funeral pyre of their love. Show Carlos how serious he is about him, so he stops treating him like a little boy with a crush. 

"I'll do it." He says. Carlos and Jose turn around. Carlos looks at him with alarm.

"Do what?" Jose asks.

"I overheard. I speak Spanish. I'll do it—suck Hanson off, or whatever."

"Brian no—" Carlos says, but Jose puts a hand up to his face.

"Interesting. And why is that?" He asks, clearly intrigued by this fucked up scenario.

Carlos gives him a pleading look with his eyes, like flashing red danger signs. 

"I . . ." Brian has to think of a reason that isn't the fact that he's in love with Carlos and trying to impress him.

"I just want to." He says, shifting his stance, not able to come up with anything.

"You little freak." Jose says, clearly assuming this is some sort of kink thing.

"Should we tell Leon?" He asks, looking at both of them.

"No. It can be a secret. I won't tell." Brian responds. "Right Carlos?"

"I don't . . . I don't think—" He tries to say, not sure of how to defuse the situation.

"It'll be fine." Jose cuts him off. He turns to Brian, suddenly very interested.

He walks over, and taps a finger lightly on his cheek.

"Ok . . . but I get to watch." He says.

Brian's skin crawls.

He catches Carlos's eyes, which are wide with fear. Brian might have swam too far into the deep end.

"Fine." He says, his mouth a tight smile. "That's fine."

Chapter Text

September 14, 2010

The bass vibrates through Nacho’s body like airplane turbulence. He’s standing in the middle of the club trying to avoid touching the sweaty bodies convulsing to the beat around him. It’s sweltering—nearly 95 degrees today and the club’s pitiful A/C system isn’t built to keep up.

Lalo parts the crowd like the Red Sea to bring him another drink.

Above them, Eladio is getting bottle service in the VIP lounge.

It’s nearly 1 a.m. and Nacho is exhausted. They had a full day of activities: horse back riding, gun range, drinks and drugs for lunch, swimming, and massages by the pool which Nacho tried to resist but Eladio insisted.

Lalo played his part well—goading Eladio into one more drink, one more hit, one more exciting adventure but Eladio’s shown no signs of slowing down.

After a three hour dinner where Eladio drank like a fish and talked to nearly every person in the restaurant, making Nacho scratch the underside of the table in frustration like a cat in heat, he finally brought them to their final destination of the night—this shitty club.

Nacho hates clubs. He hates crowds, loud noises, dancing, and drunk people. 

Lalo, of course, is enjoying it. He must have a reputation here because people seem to know he’s in the cartel, giving him a wide berth or a respectful pat on the shoulder as he works the crowd.

They have to get close to each others faces to be able to hear.

”You come here often?” Nacho jokes.

Lalo smirks. “Only in my youth.”

It’s a joke between them now, how jealous they used to get over each other when their relationship was new. Now that they’re settled the only jealousy they experience is when they role play in the bedroom to get each other off.

Nacho looks up toward the lofted area of the club where Eladio is.

”He’ll want us back soon.” He says. He’s been on edge since dinner, knowing that if Eladio is going to fuck with him it will be around now.

”I know. Let’s just stay here for a second.”

Lalo wraps his free arm around Nacho’s waist, and starts grinding into him, swaying his hips back and forth to the beat. Nacho looks around. It’s so dark and packed on the dance floor no one could really see them dancing. 

He has no rhythm, something Lalo finds amusing and makes fun of him for—“Nacho how can you be so good at fucking but not dancing”—he says, as if the two are connected. So he lets himself be guided by Lalo’s hips, and it feels good. He feels free—free to be himself in a crowded room, just another anonymous body in a sea of people, all hearing the same beat and moving their bodies in tandem.

The moment feels stolen out from under Eladio’s oppressive regime, a fleeting moment of bliss in a deluge of terror.

Nacho loosens up slowly, letting the alcohol and Lalo’s hands free his mind, and his body. He bends backward slightly, and Lalo holds him up with his strong arm, keeping them connected at the crotch. They rotate around each other, Lalo’s arms acting as the fulcrum. Lalo looks at him like he’s the only person in the room—only other man in the entire universe. Hundreds of people bouncing around them but they’re the only two that matter to each other. A life raft in the distance of a sinking ship.

Everyday with Lalo makes Nacho feel like if today was the day his life was finally snuffed out, it would be ok, because he knows what pure love and bliss feels like. And everyday spent apart makes him feel like the only thing that matters is going home to him. Like losing him would be losing his reason for being.

Lalo stops moving suddenly, and pulls Nacho close, saying in his ear: “we have to go. Whatever happens I’ll protect you, I promise.”

Nacho looks up. Eladio is leaning on the balcony looking down at them.

Fuck.

Lalo chugs his drink, and Nacho puts his up to his lips. Lalo tips it upward to make him drink faster. The entire time they both maintain eye contact with Eladio. A grin slowly forms on his face, and ends in him smiling ear to ear as he watches them finish their drinks and make their way to the stairs.

Here we go.

- - - - 

When they ascend the stairs Eladio meets them at the top. “We’re going home.” He says. A wave of relief washes over Nacho, but then he realizes that “we” includes an entourage of people standing behind Eladio. Like four scantily clad women and one young guy in a tight black button down, and all of Eladio’s security guards. 

He internally groans.

Lalo smiles, and slaps Eladio on the back. “What fun!” He says, and then they all turn to leave. Nacho lets them all pass by him, wanting to be the last person to leave, and as they pass Nacho notices the young guy looking at him curiously. They inspect each other, like they’re both trying to figure out what role they’re here to play.

To Nacho, he looks like he might be a sex worker, but he doesn’t want to assume. Maybe he’s just one of the girl’s friends.

”Niko” he says, as he walks by, looking back at Nacho. Nacho doesn’t respond. He’s never liked people being overly friendly with him.

- - - - -

When they get back to the beach house the girls spread out in the living room and Niko stands in the corner. Eladio makes them all drinks.

Another hour passes and Nacho tries not to fall asleep. Lalo is talking up the girls who are sitting around listening to him like he’s the pope. Typical.

Niko and Eladio are talking, sitting cozily on the couch together. He catches them say something to each other, and then look at Nacho.

Fear strikes him in the guts. He looks over at Lalo, who is trying to appear relaxed but Nacho knows he’s not—he’s waiting just like Nacho for Eladio to reveal his next challenge.

Eladio stands up, and tells his security guards to take the girls home, who groan collectively.

”I know, I know. Take a goody bag with you.” He says, pointing to the coke on the coffee table. They squeal in delight.

Lalo and Nacho both clock that Eladio isn’t sending Niko home.

After the girls leave, Eladio and Niko walk into his bedroom without saying anything. Unspoken is the command for Lalo and Nacho to follow.

They look at each other, say a silent prayer, and then enter the bedroom.

Eladio snorts another line and Niko bends down in front of him to do one himself. 

Eladio looks back at Nacho and Lalo, grabbing Niko’s ass—“nice, yes?”

Lalo grits his teeth, but nods up and down.

Eladio laughs. He sits down in one of the chairs next to the bed. Nacho notices for the first time that Eladio’s room is set up like an ampitheater, with chairs surrounding the bed like it’s a stage.

Fuck.

”Come here Nacho.” He says, eyes laser focused on him.

Lalo moves to stand next to him, and speaks first.

”Eladio, you wouldn’t want to ruin our anniversary celebration, would you?”

Eladio turns to look at him. “Of course not. This is part of your present. This whole weekend is.” He says, gold molars flashing in the spotlights shining down onto the floor.

He turns back to Nacho. “Come here.”

Nacho steps forward, and Lalo’s hand jerks, like he wants to grab Nacho and run.

Niko sits on the edge of the bed and looks at Nacho.

”Lalo, sit down.” Eladio orders.

Lalo realizes what’s about to happen, and breathes in deeply.

This is obviously a mind game, to drive a wedge between Lalo and Nacho. To drive Lalo crazy, make him angry, and jealous.

”Sit.” Eladio orders.

Lalo can’t disobey any longer. He takes a seat on the opposite side of the bed and looks at Nacho, sorrow filling his face like water in a glass.

Lalo and Nacho both hold their breath.

“Fuck him Nacho.” Eladio orders.

Nacho doesn’t even turn to look at Eladio, expecting the command. He stares at Lalo’s face. 

Lalo slowly puts his hand on his knee, and then taps his fingers twice, communicating that he’s ok, that it’s ok.

Nacho turns to Niko. He’s attractive, very attractive in fact. But the idea of fucking in front of Eladio makes him feel sick to his stomach.

He might be able to get through this if he can just forget he’s there.

Niko looks at him apprehensively. He can tell Niko is attracted to him. His eyes have been darting between him and Lalo all night, probably trying to figure out who he was going to have to fuck. He’s probably elated that it’s not Eladio.

Nacho decides to take command of the situation. Eladio isn’t going to make a fool of him twice.

”Come here.” Nacho says.

A flash of hunger goes off in Niko’s eyes.

Niko crawls on his knees toward him.

Nacho grabs the back of his neck and tugs him forward by his hair.

”You want me to fuck you?”

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Lalo adjust in his seat, his hand snaking down his pants.

He looks at Lalo. His eyelids are drooping slightly and his mouth is hanging open. Nacho knows that look—Lalo is aroused.

Nacho grows instantly hard. The idea of Lalo watching him fuck Niko is unbelievably hot. It’s like he’s putting on a show for him—his every move calculated to turn him on.

Jesus, if he knew they’d both be into this he might have suggested it earlier.

”Yeah.” Niko says. Nacho has gotten very good at telling when people are lying, especially as he’s risen in the ranks in the cartel and more often than not he’s surrounded by yes men too scared to tell him the truth.

So he knows that Niko definitely does want him to fuck him.

He pushes Niko backward, and he lands on the bed with a thud.

He quickly crawls up his body, relishing his sun tanned skin and toned chest.

They kiss, and it doesn’t automatically feel like he’s betraying Lalo, but he doesn’t dwell on his lips.

He makes his way down Niko’s body, kissing and nipping at his chest, stomach, and then pulling his underwear off, nipping at his inner thighs as he makes his way to his dick.

It’s smaller than Lalo’s so this will be a piece of cake.

Niko is already hard, a testament to how hot Nacho is, and he starts licking and sucking his dick, and turns to make eye contact with Lalo.

Lalo is stroking himself now, and looks back at Nacho with deeply lustful eyes. He no longer needs permission. Lalo is begging him to continue.

Niko is moaning above him.

Nacho keeps sucking—giving it a 70% effort. If he wanted to, he could make him cum in about three minutes but he wants fuck an orgasm out of him so he makes sure to keep him on the edge of release.

”Shit. You’re really good at this.” He says.

Nacho grins. He knows.

He pulls off, and roughly flips Niko over, burying his face into his ass.

Now this is something he rarely gets to do.

Lalo will let him fuck him, but he usually doesn’t ask to be rimmed. Nacho prefers to get rimmed by Lalo so he doesn’t complain, but getting to rim someone who so clearly enjoys it is a new experience.

Niko moans into the pillow, and looks back at Nacho and grabs his head.

”Oh fuck…oh fuck.” He says.

Lalo adjusts in his seat again.

Nacho gives this his 100% effort, really using his tongue to prep Niko to take him. He sticks a finger in, moving it in and out.

”Your ass is so nice.” It’s tight and round, and well groomed. A perfect fuckable peach.

“So is yours.” Niko replies.

Nacho slaps Niko’s ass for that, which only makes him moan again.

”Huh, you like that?”

”Yes.”

”Sir.”

Lalo leans forward in his chair. If anyone enjoys a sexual mind game it’s him.

“Yes, sir.” Niko says, hesitantly.

”Good.”

Nacho keeps fucking in and out with his fingers, teasing Niko, barely grazing his prostate.

”Please fuck me sir.” He begs.

”You want me to stick my dick in you?”

”mmhmm.” He moans, biting his lip.

Nacho stokes himself—he’s hard and ready to go.

He sticks his dick into Niko’s ass slowly, relishing his responsive moans. He pushes all the way in, leaning onto the bed with both arms straight out, forming a V with their bodies.

”You ready?” He asks. 

”Yes sir.”

Nacho looks at Lalo. He’s stroking himself and staring at where their bodies meet—where his dick has disappeared into another man’s body. 

And then Nacho fucks him. Really fucks him, in and out, up and down. Makes him cry out his name and then switches positions on him so that he stimulates his prostate from different directions.

He’s learned from the best—and he’s got a real knack for it.

Only 15 minutes later he has Niko spilling into the bedsheet, totally out of breath and fucked out.

Niko collapses onto the bed and Nacho follows, trying to stay seated inside of him.

He’s about to continue thrusting when he feels a hand on his shoulder pulling him off Niko and then pushing him roughly into the bed. 

”You cum for me.” Lalo says. His voice sends a jolt of electricity through his body. He loves when he talks dirty to him while he’s face down on the bed.

Nacho waits, his elbows bent under him, as Lalo pulls his pants down and lubes himself up.

”You did so good mi amor.” He says.

Niko watches them out of the corner of his eye. “You’re a real natural.” Nacho can detect a hint of jealousy in his voice.

Lalo hastily lines himself up and pushes in, desperate to reclaim Nacho for himself.

Niko watches Nacho’s face, impressed with how easily he can take Lalo with minimal prep. 

When Lalo bottoms out Nacho makes fists of the bedsheet as Lalo kisses his back.

”You were so hot fucking him.” Lalo says, and grabs a handful of Nacho’s ass. Nacho moves into the familiar position, arching his back and bending his hips slightly so Lalo’s dick can slide in and out easily. 

Lalo loves how masculine Nacho is and how domineering he can be with everyone else in their lives except him. Making Nacho moan and writhe underneath him after he just fucked Niko like a pro makes him feel like a fucking god.

Lalo starts thrusting back and forth, not dissimilar to how Nacho just fucked Niko. He leans into him, and grabs his chin to kiss him from behind as he continues thrusting. It’s passionate, and so much more intense than when Nacho kissed Niko.

Niko looks at Nacho with a tinge of jealousy.

“Fuuuuck Lalo.” He says, after Lalo releases his lips.

Lalo pulls Nacho up onto his knees so he can jerk him off.

”Cum on my dick.” He commands, and spits into his hand.

The sensations are overwhelming, especially since he was already on the edge of cuming inside Niko before.

Nacho releases into Lalo’s fist, and Lalo continues to fuck him through his orgasm, and then quickly follows, cumming inside of him with a groan, head resting between his shoulder blades.

They both collapse next to each other on the bed.

”Well done boys.”

They scramble off each other, grabbing their clothes. They forgot Eladio was there.

Lalo blocks Nacho with his body, ready to fight. Defiant.

Eladio chuckles. “Don’t worry. I already had my fill.”

Nacho notices the wet spot on his pants.

”Your love is admirable. You two are lucky.”

Neither of them move a muscle.

”This world is a cruel place. I understand why you cling to each other.”

Nacho tries to breathe but his chest feels heavy.

”But be careful. Sometimes the thing we hold onto the most can slip from our grasp.”

He looks directly at Lalo, the history between them providing context for his cryptic words.

Niko breaks the silence.

”Woah. Tension.”

Eladio looks at him like he’s a cockroach he wants to squash under his boot heel.

Lalo senses danger and gets off the bed. “Here, Niko, why don’t you leave. I’ll find some cash.”

Eladio lets them leave, but continues to stare at Nacho, who feels exposed under his gaze even though he put his shirt and pants back on.

“I’m not the enemy Nacho. The world is.”

Nacho doesn’t say anything, and waits for Eladio to break eye contact.

He finally does, looking tired at last, and Nacho slips out of the room.

He finds Lalo by the door, watching Niko leave, and grabs hold of him before almost falling to the ground.

Lalo holds him tightly, and whispers into his ear. “I’m here Nacho…I’m here.”

Present Day

Carlos drags Brian into the utility closet.

”What the fuck Brian?”

Brian feels crazed, like he just agreed to go skydiving despite his crippling fear of heights.

He faces the wall, not knowing how to respond to Carlos.

”Brian? Why did you do that? You can’t…you’re not used to things like that. You should have let me do it.” He says, touching Brian’s shoulder.

Brian shrugs him off, and moves to a different corner of the room, leaning on the wall and sliding down it onto his ass.

His eyes start welling up.

Carlos’s tone changes, realizing that Brian is upset.

He bends down, and puts his hand on his knee.

”Hey. I’m sorry, for what I said earlier. I…”

The door to the closet flings open.

Brian and Carlos stand up quickly and walk to opposite corners of the room.

It’s Leon, and he’s looking at them like he just caught them making out.

”What are you two doing in here?”

Carlos looks scared.

Brian steps forward, wiping his eyes. “Nothing. I was just missing my mom, and Carlos was trying to make me feel better.”

Leon’s suspicious, but he grabs Brian by the shoulder and leads him out. He gives Carlos one last look before walking away though, something that communicates that he’ll fucking kill him if he makes a move. Carlos shivers.

He sends Brian downstairs to continue working, but then finds him a few hours later. “I have a surprise,” he says, mood slightly better than before.

“Leon I…” Brian is really not in the mood for sex.

“Not that.” He says, rolling his eyes. “Come on.” 

He leads him to the phone room, and takes out a key to open the door. 

Brian hasn’t been able to call his mom since the lock down, and he really has been missing her voice.

”Really?”

”Really.” Leon says, handing him enough tokens to talk to his mom for an hour.

Brian looks down in his hand. He usually only has enough money to talk for 20 minutes, max.

”She’s going to be so happy.” He says. Leon smiles.

”Well go on . . . call her.”

Brian skips inside, elated. He watches as Leon shuts the door and walk away.

He dials her number, and breathes a sigh of relief. 
- - - - - 

When Brian emerges from the phone room he feels lighter. Talking to his mom always makes him feel that way. He can't really tell her everything that's going on, because she would get too worried and because he hasn't told her he's gay yet, but he can talk about everything else, including the strike and his friendship with Carlos. He has this weird dream for them to meet one day, but he knows its unlikely.

He heads downstairs to find Carlos and sees that the laundry room is completely empty. 

"Leon?" He calls. The utility room door opens. Leon steps out. He grins at Brian, like he's keeping a secret.

"Hey."

"Hey." Brian doesn’t know how to act around him, feeling like their dynamic has shifted somehow.

Leon walks up to him and grabs his hand, leading him into the other room.

Brian's apprehensive. Where are Jose and Carlos?

There's a table set up near the industrial washers. Leon brought down two dinner trays, and Brian can tell that he tried to make it seem romantic, despite the fact that the dinner is the same as yesterday and the chairs are two upside down laundry baskets.

There's a small box on one side of the table.

"For me?" Brian asks.

"Yeah." Leon says, and flashes his signature smile.

Brian feels . . . balmy, like he has a slight temperature. This is everything he's ever wanted from Leon. It's just unfortunately a few weeks too late.

"Sit down." Leon says.

Brian sits down on the side with the box, and watches as Leon brings over two cups of his signature moonshine.

Brian is frozen, unsure of how to proceed, shocked that he finds himself sitting opposite the man he's fucking for protection in prison on a . . . date?

"Well eat," Leon says, and laughs, shaking his head, forking a mouthful of mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Sorry. I just . . . why are you doing all of this today?" 

Leon considers the question for a few seconds, choosing his words wisely.

"I realized I've been too hard on you—making you work all these hours because of the strike, and get all our food. You deserve something nice." 

And between the lines of what Leon said—you also let me fuck you and suck me off whenever I want.

They proceed to eat their dinner, and Leon asks Brian questions about his life. They both learn more about each other in 20 minutes than the last month or so of being together.

Brian feels himself loosening up as the moonshine takes hold.

At some point Leon's foot shifts to rest against Brian’s and they start looking at each other across the table and holding eye contact, the sexual tension growing as their cups run empty.

Brian forgets about what happened with Carlos in the closet and that he promised to suck a guard's dick behind Leon's back.

"I got you something." Leon says, eyes motioning toward the box.

"Oh, Leon, I don't know what to say." Brian says. It's all too much.

"Don't get too excited. It's more like a thing for the both of us." He says.

Brian opens the box, curious what could be a gift for the both of them.

When he takes the lid off he sees a pair of lacy red underwear shaped like a "V"--the kind his girlfriends in high school used to wear on valentines day.

He sits there, looking at it, realization dawning on him that Leon intends for him to wear the underwear.

"Leon . . . I . . ." He doesn't know what to say. He's not comfortable with this—does Leon see me as a woman? 

"Put it on." Leon says. Brian looks up at him. His eyes are heavily lidded, drunk on lust and moonshine.

"Where did you even get this?" 

"Don't worry about it. They're clean. Go and change."

"I don't—"

"You have no idea how hard it was to get those. Put them on." He emphasizes the last three words individually.

Brian squirms in his seat, suddenly getting hard. Being ordered him to put on women's underwear apparently turns him on, or maybe it's the thought of what Leon will do to him once they're on, or the fact that Leon has secretly been planning this for god knows how long, probably masturbating to the thought of Brian wearing these. It's all too much.

He gets up, and takes the box with him.

Leon smirks, and turns around to watch him leave.

Brian changes in the other room, pulling his pants and boxers off and tentatively putting the underwear on. It should offend his manhood that they fit perfectly, but it actually just makes him harder. He wishes he had a mirror so he could look at his own ass. He knows they're hugging him perfectly. He looks down at his own torso. He's always been self-conscious about how skinny he is, because he thinks that his hip bones make him look like a girl, but right now, it's really working. His skin is pale with an olive undertone and it looks amazing against the fiery red of the fabric. Jesus, i’m turning myself on.

He slips his pants back on, and he finds his hands are sweaty and his body is vibrating with anticipation. He's excited to the point where his stomach kind of hurts.

He walks back in slowly, finding it hard to meet Leon's gaze. Leon is sitting on the stool, leaning back on the table. He has his cup of moonshine dangling by the edge of his mouth, and his hand is sitting casually under his waistband. He grins when he sees Brian enter the room.

He looks so fucking hot and casual it almost makes Brian pass out.

Brian crosses about half the distance between them, and then leans onto the washers to the side of the room, wanting Leon to meet him in the middle.

"Come here pretty boy." Leon says, leaning forward and putting the cup down on the table.

Brian decides to play a game, knowing Leon will enjoy it.

"No." He says, and thrusts his hip out, purposefully exposing the top of the underwear above his pants.

Leon stares at them, entranced, eyes wild and brimming with anticipation, like a dog waiting for its owner to throw the ball.

"Come here Brian."

Brian knows Leon wants him to resist. He grins back at him. "I don't want to." 

Leon rises from his chair, and closes the gap between them in three quick steps, pressing himself against Brian, grabbing onto his waist line with one finger and his ass with his other hand.

"You wanna be a brat tonight?" He asks, but clearly he wants it too. Wants Brian to resist him, so he can punish him for his insolence. Brian can feel his erection pressing into him. He wants Leon to rip his pants off, and reveal what he's got going on underneath them.

"Yeah, I do." He says, putting his hand on Leon's chest, waiting for Leon to kiss him.

Instead, Leon tells him to run.

"—What?" Brian asks, confused.

"I said . . . run." Leon repeats.

Brian takes a second, but then realizes what Leon wants. He wants to chase him. Wants to hunt him down and then fuck him roughly once he’s caught. Kevin was so right.

The idea excites him too.

Brian bolts.

He runs as quickly as he can into the other room but he can hear Leon just a step behind him. His heart is pounding in his chest; not from the effort but from the fear and elation of being chased.

He runs to the back of the laundry room and Leon almost catches him as he turns the corner but he evades his grasp, a giggle involuntarily exiting his body.

"Come here pretty boy." Leon taunts him from behind.

He gets on the other side of the washers and they're in a position where Leon can't reach him but if he tries to turn the corner Brian will just go the other way so they're staring at each other waiting for the other to make a move.

"When I get my hands on you it's over." Leon says, skin glistening and cheeks red with exertion and arousal.

"Oh yeah?" Brian retorts, just as excited at the prospect as Leon. "Let's see you catch me," he says, and then bolts toward the stairs. There's a 50/50 chance he makes it up before Leon grabs him.

He runs without looking back, determined to show Leon up, and then finds his shirt catch and his body moving backward involuntarily right before he can reach out and grab the railing. Damn, he really thought he was faster.

Leon snakes his arm between his elbows, holding both of his arms behind his back. 

"See . . . you can't outrun me pretty boy,” he says into Brian's ear. Brian senses there’s a double meaning in his statement.

He drags him backwards toward the other room. "Now I earned my prize."

Brian is unbelievably hard, and a little scared.

Leon turns him around and pulls his shirt off and then pushes him onto a pile of clean clothes so quickly Brian barely has time to brace himself as he lands face forward.

He gets onto his elbows and looks back as Leon pulls his pants off with expert efficiency, and his eyes grow wide as he takes in the sight of Brian's ass in the red underwear.

"Fuck, it's better than I even imagined." He says, and then roughly grabs Brian's ass cheeks in both hands and massages them up and down.

"Oh fuck." Brian exhales, which reminds Leon there’s a person attached to the ass, and he lets go, looking around for something.

"What?" Brian asks, and then feels Leon grab both of his arms out from under him and pull them onto his back. Leon ties his wrists together with something long and thin.

"Leon don't," he says, but Leon shushes him. 

"I'll let you out whenever you want. I just wanna have my way with you,” he says, grabbing Brian's ass again. 

Brian doesn't have time to formulate a response before Leon pushes the underwear to the side and his finger finds his rim, making his breath catch in his throat.

"You look so fucking good pretty boy. I can't believe I get to fuck you."

That seals the deal for Brian. He decides he's not going to fight what's happening, especially if Leon is going to praise him like that all night.

Leon swipes some lube and starts fingering Brian, which makes him squirm and moan.

"Oh fuck you're so sexy. Moan for me." Leon says.

Brian gets louder, and then he feels Leon's tongue on his asshole and really screams.

"Fuck Leon." He yells.

Leon rims him, and then fucks him with his tongue with an enthusiasm that Brian would characterize as manic.

Between thrusts he continues to praise him.

"I know you would look good in these."

In and out--

"You're unbelievable, you know that?"

In and out--

"Gonna stick it right between these cheeks."

Brian is already forgetting--forgetting words, dates, faces, anything that isn't Leon's tongue on his ass.

Leon has him on the edge of release but then leans back, and pulls Brian onto his knees so that he's face down ass up.

He doesn't want this to be over too soon, but luckily Leon doesn't seem to either and continues fingering him, mesmerized by how his ass looks in the underwear and the way his fingers slip in and out.

Brian wants him to hit his prostate so he starts moving his hips back and forth, trying to fuck himself on Leon's fingers.

Leon grabs Brian's arms and pins them down, stopping his movement.

"Don't get ahead of yourself pretty boy."

Brian is growing impatient. He's been on the edge of release for 20 minutes now, and he needs more stimulation--needs Leon to fuck him or for him to jerk him off. Not being able to use his hands is making him desperate, which he realizes might have been part of Leon's plan.

"Come on Leon, fuck me." He says.

"What do you want?" Leon asks. 

Brian huffs.

"I want you to fuck me. Please."

"Oh yeah, why?"

Brian is really frustrated now.

"What do you mean why?"

"Why me?"

Brian's eyes roll. Is he really feeling insecure right now? With Brian pinned below him, arms tied behind his back, wearing women's underwear at Leon's request?

"Because you're so hot, Leon. And because you have a big dick, and because you always make me cum, and I want you inside me." Brian says, through gritted teeth. None of those things are lies, technically.

"Yeah? You want this big dick inside you?" Leon asks, rubbing his hard dick against Brian's ass.

"Yes. Put it in me. Fuck me, please."

"Does anyone else fuck you this good?”

Brian shakes his head to the left and right.

"No. No one else." Still not technically a lie.

"Do you want anyone else to fuck you?"

"No, I only want you to fuck me. Please--fuck me now." He says. That's a lie, but not in this moment.

Leon growls above him, and then rips the underwear clean in half, exposing Brian's ass.

Brian is surprised, given the lengths Leon went to get them, but it's so fucking hot he bites down on a clean shirt.

Leon strips his pants off, and Brian can feel his dick touch his asshole, and he breathes a sigh of relief that it's finally happening.

"You ready?"

"I was ready yesterday." He says.

"Fuck you're such a brat."

Brian breathes one last big breath before Leon punches it out of him.

“Bite down.”

Leon grabs onto his hips, and pushes in.

Brian bites again as Leon seats himself inside him.

His shoulders are starting to hurt with his arms pinned behind him but he doesn't ask to be released. Something about Leon fucking him without Brian's participation is making his impending orgasm feel like a tidal wave. 

Leon starts moving in and out once he feels Brian can handle it.

"Does it feel good?" He asks.

"Yes. So good. Please touch me." Brian begs.

"Not yet. Just feel." Leon says.

Brian groans, but does what Leon tells him.

Despite his excitement, Leon seems prepared to fuck Brian for a while.

"I love . . . fucking you . . . Oh fuck." He says, mumbling through the pleasure.

Brian murmurs his agreement.

"I don't want anyone else to touch you." He says.

Brian vaguely remembers his promise to Jose, but the thought falls out of his head as Leon's dick finds the ball of nerves in his ass.

Leon pulls out completely, and then seats himself inside of Brian again, clearly enjoying watching his dick disappear into his ass.

It makes Brian's breath skip.

He moans slowly, as Leon really sticks it all the way to the hilt, hitting Brian's prostate again and then stimulating it with short thrusts with a surgical precision Brian will think about for the rest of his life.

How could I ever give this up.

Leon lifts Brian up by the shoulders, so that he's sitting on his lap with his feet flat on the ground.

He leans back and holds Brian up, and grabs onto his dick with his other hand.

"Ride me. Make yourself cum." Leon says.

Brian doesn't need to hear anything else.

He bounces up and down on Leon's dick with the enthusiasm of a person denied an orgasm for far too long.

Leon strokes Brian's dick in rhythm with Brian.

"Cum for me pretty boy. Cum on my dick."

Brian isn't embarrassed by how quickly he shoots onto the ground. The feeling of Leon's dick inside of him, his hand on his cock, and the fact that he's still tied up combine into one of the strongest orgasms he's ever had in his life.

"Fuck, Leon. Fuck." He says, coming down from the orgasm, sweat beading on his brow.

Leon chuckles behind him.

"So good. You're so good."

Leon pushes him back onto his stomach, and Brian's knees bend backward and Leon enters him again and fucks him while holding onto his ankles.

"I'm so fucking close. Fuck, that was so hot. You're so fucking hot." Leon says, as he fucks into a completely relaxed and dazed Brian. Brian tries to control his speed by pressing into his lower stomach with his tied up hands but Leon thrusts at his own pace.

Brian hears Leon straining above him, and he speeds up his rhythm, clearly on the precipice of release.

Brian thinks about how hot it would be for Leon to cum on his ass and murmurs below: “cum on me.”

It sends Leon over the edge, and he rushes to pull out, making Brian groan, and he can hear him jerking himself off, and then feels Leon's cum splash onto his ass.

Leon moans loudly, draining his dick of the last remnants of cum, and then collapses on his back next to Brian.

"Fuck me."

Brian closes his eyes, feeling the euphoria flow through his system.

Thirty-ish seconds pass where they both catch their breath.

"Leon."

"Yeah?"

"Untie me."

"Oh, yeah."

Leon undoes the knot, and Brian's arms relax and he pulls himself up onto his hands and knees, surveying the damage.

There's cum all over his ass, and some on the clean clothes, and some more on his stomach where he landed on it. The ripped underwear is strewn to this left, and Leon looks like he's about the pass out.

"Jesus." He says, and lands on his back next to Leon, feeling too overwhelmed to try to clean it all up now.

Leon pulls him into his embrace, and breathes into his neck.

"Let's do that again." He says.

Brian's eyes shoot open, remembering for the first time since this afternoon in the closet how fucked he is.

Chapter Text

Day 5, Guard Strike

Nacho’s eyes flutter awake, the painted white cement walls greeting them first. He remembers the dream he was having. He was sitting in a room, a modest kitchen with rust colored floors and powder blue walls. Maybe his grandmother’s house, the one he went to only a few times as a kid before she passed. His mom was there, and she was making hot chocolate on the stove. Her voice echoes through his head. In his dream she turns toward him, with two brown mugs in hand. She smiles, and hands one to him, and then another to the person seated next to him.

Lalo.

She sits down and Lalo finishes telling her the final act of his story, the one he’s been regaling her with this whole time.

Nacho sits quietly, listening to his two favorite people converse easily. When Lalo gets to the punch line, she throws her head back in laughter. It’s infectious, like Lalo’s, and soon he’s laughing too, and Lalo sneaks a smile in Nacho’s direction, something that says “look how much your mother loves me, how happy I make her. How happy we make her.”

Nacho feels warm, like sunshine is radiating outward from his heart to the tips of his fingers and toes.

He wishes he could make his dream a reality, but for now, he’ll have to settle on imagining their relationship in his head, visiting the powder blue room in his dreams, and finding solace in the fact that his mother would probably love Lalo, if she found the strength to give him a chance.

He doesn’t have to look at his watch to know it’s early. Like 5am early.

He feels pressure on his lower back, someone’s fingers massaging the tight muscles there.

“Lalo . . .” he moans.

Light kisses flutter his neck like eyelashes on cheeks.

”Morning amorcito.”

Lalo massages his ass, and then he feels him reposition himself, and slide a hand up his boxer leg and a finger probe toward his hole.

”Lalo I can’t.”

Nacho needs a break, physically, but also mentally. They’ve been fucking twice a day for four days straight, and yesterday they fucked three times. He can’t do it again, and honestly he needs a break from sex altogether; needs to feel like his body is his own for a change. It’s probably partially the fact that they’ve been pent up together for so long, but he’s starting to lose his mind just as Lalo seems to be finding his.

“Let me make you feel good mi vida,” he hums into his neck. A hand snakes around to Nacho’s crotch, and light pressure stirs his dick awake.

Lalo breathes in the scent of Nacho’s skin, and pulls Nacho’s head back gently, signaling control, but also reverence; reverence for Nacho’s body. He’s a saint and Lalo his loyal worshiper, paying his devotion every morning and every night.

He starts kissing his neck in earnest, and Nacho blindly lets himself be stirred to full arousal, the feeling of Lalo’s hand on his throat, his lips on his neck, and his other hand on his dick so natural that he forgets where Lalo’s body ends and his begins.

Then his eyes shoot open, remembering his thought from just a few seconds ago.

“Lalo stop.”

He goes rigid. Nacho pulls Lalo’s hands off him like they’re suctioned to his body and turns around to face him.

”I need a break, my ass is . . . it needs a break.”

Lalo pecks him on the lips with a kiss. “I was going to suck you off, but sure. We don’t need to.”

He rolls out of bed and onto his feet, leaning onto the sink and looking at himself in the mirror. “Jesus, I’m starting to lose my tan. It’s been so long inside.”

Nacho watches his back from where he’s still laying on the bottom bunk.

He’s sometimes struck with how similar Lalo is to a cat. He’s vain, biting, territorial, quick on his feet, and his attention span is shit—his mind always flitting to the next shiny object.

A thought crosses Nacho’s mind.

”Hey, why don’t you let me fuck you?” He asks. He’s never really thought about it until now, but Lalo has never asked for it, nor brought it up before. It would prevent them from having to take breaks like this, and give Nacho time to rest. Plus he hasn’t stuck his dick inside anyone since he got to prison and he’s starting to miss it.

He loves getting fucked by Lalo, but there’s a part of him that still wants to make someone moan underneath him.

He also thinks Lalo is probably great at riding dick. Probably really aggressive and competitive about it. The thought makes him have to shift on the bed, his cock hardening.

Lalo turns around slowly, his expression unreadable.

”You never asked,” he says, and drops to the floor to do pushups. They have to take turns working out, because the room is so small. They’ve done about 1,000 between the two of them since the strike started. 

Lalo’s answer is evasive, like he’s a politician at a debate.

”Well I’m asking now.”

Lalo pauses at the top of his 15th push-up, and Nacho waits for his answer, but it doesn’t come. He continues until 30.

“Is that a no?” Nacho asks, incredulous.

Lalo finally stops, out of breath. He sits on his knees and looks at Nacho. “No. It’s not a no. But it’s not a yes.” He pushes the hair out his face, and huffs like the conversation is exhausting him.

”What do you mean? You really won’t let me fuck you?” Nacho is flabbergasted. Lalo has been down for anything, I mean anything sexual up until this point.

”I haven’t done that in a while . . . I don’t even remember how.”

Nacho scoffs. “That can’t be true. And even if it were I could help you. Jesus, I take your big dick up my ass almost every day. You think it would be fair.”

That elicits a grin from Lalo. Then his face turns serious again, like he wants to end the conversation as quickly as possible. ”I don’t do that in prison, ok? There’s your answer.”

Nacho’s sitting on the edge of the bed at this point, ready to fight. His mouth is open, genuinely shocked that Lalo is being such a hypocrite, and honestly, homophobic?

“What the fuck does that mean? Are you trying to say that you think I’m weak because I bottom?” Nacho stands up now, wanting to look over Lalo and remind him how powerful he is, in case he’s forgotten.

Lalo palms his forehead.

”No, I don’t think you’re weak, ok, I just prefer it this way.”

”Ok, I prefer it this way too but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to dabble.”

Lalo sighs, and stands up, getting close to Nacho, showing off his extra three inches of height. “Two and a half” he hears Nacho’s voice echo in his head.

“Well what if I said you can’t dabble,” he says, voice low, trying to elicit a sexual response from Nacho, trying to goad him into a physical altercation that will end with one of them on their knees.

Nacho pushes him backward and Lalo braces himself on the sink, looking disappointed that it didn’t work.

Nacho flops on the chair.

He looks up at him, his expression dour.

”Then you would be close minded.”

”Close minded?!” Lalo exclaims. That’s not something he’s ever been called before.

”Why is it ok for me to bottom but not you?”

Lalo sighs again. ”I told you a thousand times, I have an image to protect.”

Nacho jumps up to his feet. He’s feeling cranky, and combative.

”Fuck off, Lalo! That’s such bullshit. Stop lying. First of all, I wouldn’t even tell anyone about it, and second, everyone knows what we do, and they still respect me.” 

Lalo immediately meets his energy, beating his chest. ”Yeah but you have me. I don’t have someone to back me up. It’s just my name, my reputation, my image that keeps us both alive.” 

It feels like they’ve had some version of this fight hundreds of times, and yet it never gets resolved.

Nacho looks him in the eyes, and decides to cut right through him. ”You have the power to be whoever you want to be. I don’t think it’s your fear of what others will do if they find out you sometimes bottom. I think it’s you. You’re holding onto something. I can feel it.”

Lalo balks, taking a step backward, like Nacho’s words have the force of a strong wind.

“Alright Mr. Know-it-all. What are you going to do if I don’t let you fuck me? Huh? Going to find some thirsty twink to do it? Go back to women?”

“Jesus Lalo. ‘Thirsty twink?’ Do you even hear yourself?” 

Lalo ignores him. ”Huh? Should I be worried?”

Nacho resents the implication. How many times are Lalo’s insecurities going to become Nacho’s fucking problem. 

”A woman would fuck me and let me fuck her, so maybe I will,” he says, unseriously.

Lalo’s face contorts in anger, and his muscles tense, like he wants to hurt Nacho. He breathes through his nose, in and out, and turns away from Nacho, looking out at the hallway.

Nacho wants to reel back the conversation to reality, to where they started.

”I wouldn’t threaten you with that. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. I’ll always be faithful to you. I just . . . just think about it. I think you would enjoy it, and I will too.”

Lalo doesn’t turn back around, but Nacho knows he won. Knows Lalo will tinker around with the idea in his mind for the next few hours, maybe a whole day, and come back with a full report. 

He gets on his hands and knees, and starts his first set of pushups for the day.

Brian lies awake thinking about what it all meant—Leon setting up the date for him, telling him all those nice things.

He looks over and sees him fast asleep, snoring slightly, and tries to imagine what’s possibly going on in his brain, but can’t do it, his motivations always unclear to Brian. He thinks that’s why he’s so attracted to him, why the sex is so electric—he can never predict what Leon will say or do next, and it scares and also thrills him to his core.

Brian pushes him onto his side so he can fall asleep too. Leon moves with a grunt but doesn’t protest.

He tries to appease his mind. The guard strike will end soon, and things will go back to normal. He can hang out with Carlos like they used to and soon one of them will get released. He thinks Jose is up for parole first and then maybe Carlos and then him. Maybe he can just wait it out. How bad could being with Leon until he leaves really be? I mean, the sex is great, and if Leon continues acting like he did tonight he could probably tolerate it.

And then . . . he can look Carlos up when he gets out . . . or not . . . Maybe he’ll feel differently when he has his freedom.

He sighs, and tries to close his eyes and remember the way the ceiling looks in his bedroom in his mom’s house—the popcorn texture, the faded glow of the stick-on stars still holding on after all these years. It calms his mind to try to count them, just like he used to when he was a kid.

Then he notices the light move and his eyes shoot open.

He sees Carlos, looming above him, his finger over his mouth signaling to be quiet.

Brian looks over at Leon. He’s still fully asleep.

He gets up gingerly, being careful not to disturb the blanket he and Leon are sharing.

A few times he thinks they’re cooked and Leon is going to wake up and see him sneaking off with Carlos but he manages to sneak away unharmed.

When they get out of earshot they giggle.

”I found something.” Carlos says. He leads Brian up the stairs by the hand.

The only lights are from the guard tower, and it’s eerily quiet, that part of the night when everyone is in their REM cycle. They skirt close to the wall to avoid detection.

Carlos leads him through a door that’s normally locked, and down a dark hallway. Brian feels a chill up his spine, like he’s in the presence of spirits.

“Where are we—“

”Shhhh” Carlos warns.

They get to the end of the hallway and he hears Carlos fiddling with a door handle. He heaves a heavy door open as quietly as he can.

When they step through the threshold Brian’s eyes take a moment to adjust.

It’s an old boiler room with tall ceilings; looks like it used to house something the prison doesn’t need anymore. Some boxes and old equipment litter the walls.

Carlos grabs his hand once again and leads him to the center.

“Look up,” he says. Brian complies.

There’s a sky light above them. The night sky is clear and dark purple, and he can see the moon. It’s almost full, and there’s a sprinkling of visible stars. It’s the first time he’s seen it in this much detail since he arrived a few months ago.

”Wooooow,” Brian says, turning his body while keeping his head canted upward. “I didn’t know I missed the moon until now.” It makes him feel small, and reminds him that his problems aren’t so big after all, and that this is just a moment in time in his hopefully long life.

He looks back down at Carlos, who is staying quiet, watching his face. Brian realizes that Carlos brought him here, risked getting caught by the guards or worse—Leon or Jose—just to make him feel something. Just to make him happy. It’s different than what Leon did tonight, because he doesn’t expect anything in return. It’s pure.

Carlos looks up to the sky.

”I didn’t know either,” he says, looking back at Brian mid-sentence.

Brian’s heart thumps in his chest. He doesn’t know if Carlos meant anything more than what he said, but he feels something bubbling between them, something akin to static electricity.

Carlos must feel it too because he leans in, and gently puts his hands on the sides of Brian’s neck. It’s intimate, not sexual.

He places his forehand on Brian’s.

”Can I kiss you?” He asks, a whisper under Brian’s thrumming pulse.

It feels foreign, to be asked whether or not he wants to be touched.

He leans back, and tries to look into Carlos’s eyes but they’re downcast, like he’s afraid of rejection. 

Brian puts his hands on his hips. Carlos’s grip on his neck tightens in response. He hears Carlos take a shallow breath.

”Always.”

Carlos shoots up, and spares not another second, leaning in to kiss him. 

Leon and Brian never just kiss. He’d forgotten how emotional it can be, to put your lips on another person’s and close your eyes, and just . .

react to the feeling. 

This is how a kiss is supposed to feel, like a gentle exploration of another’s body, of their desire, of their feelings for you and your feelings for them. With Carlos it brings up a feeling of safety, of closeness, of trust, of desire, simmering but not boiling, not enough to cloud his judgment, not like with Leon.

He’s been so confused for the past few months, conflating sex and pain and arousal and love and power and consent and thrown it all in a toilet and flushed it down until he can no longer tell what is what.

But he knows now. And he’ll never not know. 

He deepens the kiss, knowing that Carlos expects nothing more of him, and he can say no whenever he wants; that Carlos is first and foremost his friend, and cares about his safety and respects him more than he cares about getting what he wants.

This is love. He loves Carlos. And Carlos loves him.

And he has to end things with Leon.

September 15, 2010

Nacho creeps out of the bed, and gingerly puts his pants back on. He walks in the darkness toward the open door, and slowly pulls it open, trying not to make it creak.

He walks down the hallway with bare feet. The guards are either asleep or on a smoke break and he thinks he knows where Eladio keeps his weapons.

He made up his mind that he was going to kill Eladio as soon as Lalo shut the door behind Niko. There’s never going to be an end to Nacho’s degradation, to Eladio’s sick obsession, and his heart is so blackened he’ll probably never have that heart attack they were promised.

He turns the corner and finds the closet the guards kept going into every day, where his safe probably is. He still has the piece of paper from his home office with all of his codes written down. If the combination is changed he’ll walk into Eladio’s bedroom and smother him with a pillow if he has to. One thing he won’t do is let Eladio live for another fucking second.

He opens the door and finds a black safe inside, just like he thought.

He uses the light of his phone to type in the code. Miraculously it works. Maybe Eladio isn’t as smart as he thought.

He pulls out a sig, and loads it as quietly as possible.

He slips it into the back of his pants and walks toward Eladio’s bedroom.

One of Eladio’s security guards turns the corner. They almost collide but Nacho side steps at the last second.

”Shit, sorry,” Nacho says, trying to remain casual. His heart is beating through his chest.

The guard looks at him suspiciously.

”Just wanted some water.”

”Kitchen is that way,” he says, in Spanish, pointing behind Nacho.

”Shit, you’re right.” Nacho turns around and heads down the hall, hoping the outline of the gun isn’t visible in the back of his pants. He realizes he’s sweating profusely.

The guard luckily doesn’t follow him, and Nacho walks into the kitchen and makes some noise pretending to get water and then takes an alternate route to Eladio’s bedroom.

He steps into Eladio’s bedroom. It’s dark, but there’s faint light coming in from the moon. Eladio is asleep, sleep mask on.

Nacho runs through the plan again in his head. Shoot Eladio through a series of pillows. Pretend to go back to sleep. Slip out in the morning with Lalo during the shift change, cross the border before anyone even realizes Eladio is dead.

He pulls the gun out of his pants and flips the safety off, counting each step he takes toward Eladio’s bedside. He picks out the pillow he’ll use to soften the sound. The silencer will take care of the rest.

He raises the gun, his arms suddenly feeling weak and unsteady, his muscles trembling visibly.

And then feels something touch his back, metal pushing into his spine, and a rough hand over his mouth, pulling him backward toward the bathroom.

He realizes when he hits the tile that the hand belongs to Lalo.

Lalo whips him around.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He hisses. The bathroom is almost entirely dark, but he can make out the outline of Lalo’s face, and his features are a garish caricature of himself.

”What does it look like,” he hisses back.

”Don’t be stupid.”

”It was stupid to come here.”

Lalo doesn’t disagree.

”Wait where did you get that gun?” Eladio’s orders were for no weapons, and their luggage was searched extensively before coming in the house.

”Hid it,” Lalo says, dismissively, opening the bathroom door slightly to make sure Eladio hasn’t woken up.

He looks back at Nacho’s face.

”Don’t do this Nacho.”

”I can’t do it again. I can’t do another day.”

”I know, we’ll leave in the morning, ok. And we’ll come up with another plan.”

”Ok,” Nacho says, his shoulders relaxing. Lalo rubs one with his free hand. Then his grip activates.

”Shh,” he says, listening intently.

”Shower,” he quickly orders. They move swiftly into the massive walk-in shower with painted glass doors. It’s not a good hiding place under normal circumstances but if Eladio doesn’t turn on the light or look directly into the shower it will hide them.

They move as close together and against the wall as they can and try not the breathe.

Eladio opens the door, head facing downward, grumbling and shuffling toward the toilet.

He doesn’t flip the light switch on.

Nacho’s grip on his gun tightens, and Lalo’s grip on Nacho tightens. They both hold their breath.

He pees sitting down, and then lets out a loud groan when he stands up.

He pauses for a moment at the top, and Nacho thinks he might pass out from fear, but luckily he shuffles back toward the door.

When the bathroom door closes again they both exhale.

”Fuck that was close,” Nacho says.

Lalo holds him in place and breathes in his scent, probably for comfort.

”Too close.”

Nacho leads them out of the shower.

”Let’s get out of here,” he whispers.

As Lalo reaches for the door knob, they both hear a gun shot ring out. And then another. And then there’s a flash of light outside the window.

Lalo moves to the wall nearest the window and peers out without making his head a target.

”It’s the chicken man. He’s attacking,” he says. Nacho has no idea how he knows that.

Then they hear the bathroom door open again, and Eladio switches the light on.

Lalo and Nacho are caught, crouching on Eladio’s bathroom floor, guns in hand.

His eyes grow wide when he sees them, and he instinctively points the gun he must have grabbed in their direction.

”What are you doing in here?” He demands. He slurs his words and he looks confused, like he’s under the influence of something, maybe a sleeping pill.

Lalo and Nacho look at each other.

”Don’t fucking move,” Eladio says, but he’s having trouble keeping track of both of them at the same time.

Lalo speaks first. “We came when we heard the gun shots. We just wanted to protect you.”

Eladio eyes him suspiciously.

“Why don’t you put the gun down,” he says, slowly rising from the ground.

Eladio moves quickly, quicker than either of them expected. He has his gun on Lalo’s temple.

”What is this?” He spits, “what are you maricones planning?”

Lalo grits his teeth.

”Nothing Don Eladio.”

More shots ring out.

Lalo gives Nacho a pleading look to do something—say something, without moving his body. Nacho’s forehead is sweating profusely, but his voice remains steady. 

”Listen, we can sit here and fight with each other or we can focus on the real threat, the threat outside. It sounds like they may break through your security detail soon.”

Eladio’s focus shifts away from Nacho and Lalo for a second and to the window.

He releases Lalo, and pushes him forward, sitting down on the toilet with his gun pointed toward them.

He waivers for a second, considering shooting them right then and there, but then they hear shouting from inside the house.

He stares at them with bloodshot eyes.

”Go,” he orders.

Chapter Text

“Sausage?”

”Sausage,” Carlos says, handing Brian his breakfast.

”Dang, I was hoping for bacon today.”

”Huell sends his apologies. This is all that’s left in the freezer apparently.”

Brian moans and leans back onto the washers. They eat on the ground most days, in between throwing in load after load of laundry. 

“I never thought I would wanna go back to my cell but this strike needs to end soon. I can’t keep eating the same thing.”

”Yeah, and my hands are raw at this point.” Carlos looks down at his red and blistered palms, the skin on his hands and arms having trouble regenerating given how often they’re exposed to blistering steam.

Brian looks at him fretting over his skin and wants to reach out and comfort him, but Leon and Jose are in the next room.

”Time stamp,” he says.

”What time is it?”

Brian looks at his watch. ”7:30 a.m.”

”What day?”

”April 5.”

”Hmm…” Carlos thinks for a moment.

”I would be in my bed, in my apartment in Albequerque, probably recovering from a hangover, maybe kicking the guy from last night out already.”

Brian laughs.

”Then I would drag myself out of bed, make a strong cup of coffee, and I don’t know…go to work? Maybe I got my coffee shop job back. I liked that one, actually.”

”Yeah?”

”Yeah. The manager was nice. The pay was shit but the customers tipped well, especially for me,” he says with twinkle in his eye.

Brian pushes him with his arm. “I’m sure they did.”

”You?”

Brian pauses. He knew Carlos would want him to take a turn at the game they invented to take their minds off the present moment: what would you be doing at this very moment if you weren’t in prison?

It’s always bittersweet, imagining life on the outside, imagining what could have been if things hadn’t taken a turn. He’s been thinking about that a lot lately—what if he decided at the last moment to chuck the drugs, or got into a different security line with a less attentive TSA agent. He didn’t quite realize that it was April 5th when he asked Carlos, and regrets it now.

”Uh, well. It’s my birthday, so probably something related to that.”

Carlos grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him, the reaction he knew he would get.

”It’s your birthday?! Why didn’t you say something earlier. I have to go to tell Huell.”

”No don’t—“

Before he can stop him, Carlos is on his feet running up the stairs, no doubt scheming with Huell to wrestle up enough ingredients to make a cake of some sort. Carlos is big on birthdays, makes a big deal out of everyone’s. He really didn’t want to tell anyone. Turning 21 in prison isn’t exactly a fun milestone. He imagined he would be out celebrating at a local dive bar with the college friends he was supposed to make, not sitting on a dirty prison floor taking a momentary break from performing indentured labor.

Brian sighs, and sticks his fork in the last freezer-burnt disk of brown meat. He pops it in his mouth and stands up, picking up both of their trays from the floor and placing them on the top of the dryers.

He imagines in an alternate universe waking up in his dorm to a voicemail from his mom singing him happy birthday out of tune and off beat. He has almost 5 years of saved voicemails. She started doing it when she got him his own cell phone, and he cherishes them. He knows she’ll want to hear from him today and he saved a few tokens to call her again. Maybe Leon will unlock the phone room for him again if he plays nice.

He finds them in the next room, smoking cigarettes near an air vent.

They go silent as soon as he enters the room, which always makes him nervous.

”What’s up pretty boy?” Leon asks with glimmering eyes. Jose watches him approach with interest. Leon’s in a good mood, probably from the sex last night, which makes this a perfect time to ask.

“Can I…” his throat catches, Leon and Jose are both staring at him, and he wishes Jose wasn’t here, or Carlos was here as a buffer. He doesn’t like being alone with the two of them. Something about it makes him feel…unsafe, like they could pounce on him at any moment and he would be left defenseless.

Jose looks like he’s about to laugh. He finds the courage.

”Can I get into the phone room sometime today?” He says quickly, as if the words will evaporate before he can get them out.

Leon puts out his cigarette, and stares at him.

”Guard strike is ending soon. They’re finalizing an agreement today. I have a few things to take care of, but maybe after lunch.” He turns away from Brian and heads to his office.

Maybe?

He decides to push his luck. It’s worth it, if he can hear his mom’s voice again, turn this birthday from abysmal to tolerable.

”Could I go now?”

Leon’s eyes flicker with annoyance.

”I can take him,” Jose volunteers.

Brian’s skin crawls. He didn’t factor the risk of being alone with Jose into this. But he can’t back down now or Leon will get more annoyed, and then potentially suspicious.

”I…uh.”

”Fine,” Leon says, flicking the keys at Jose. “Be back in 30, I have something I need you to do.”

Jose nods.

Jose smirks at him when Leon closes the closet door. Brian’s breath is shallow. He hopes Carlos is on his way back, maybe he can signal his distress and he can intervene. He does not want to go into the phone room alone with Jose, not after what happened two nights ago.

When they make it upstairs Jose makes small talk as they walk, pointing out things in the prison Brian already knows. It feels…unnatural—almost like he’s distracting him on purpose, trying to make him feel safe before he attacks, like a Venus fly trap emitting a sweet scent before swallowing its victim whole.

Carlos is nowhere to be found. Brian stills his beating heart. If Jose wanted to attack him, he certainly wouldn’t do it where Leon could find them? That would be a death sentence, right?

Jose opens the phone room, and makes an exaggerated “after you” gesture with his arms.

Brian steps in, feeling the walls close in behind him.

Jose shuts the door. Brian looks at him, palms sweaty, too scared to even take a seat.

”What’s wrong?” Jose asks playfully, like he knows what’s wrong, knows Brian is scared and why.

”Are you going to stay in here?”

”Yeah, I thought I would. Go on, call your mom.”

Brian hesitates. It feels like a trap, like Jose is testing him, but he doesn’t know how or to what end.

He steps toward the phone. Jose steps toward him. Brian stills.

”Or we could do something else,” he says, eyes scanning up and down Brian’s body, the way he does it when Leon isn’t looking.

The next few moments happen so fast it’s like Brian is watching someone else be his body double.

”Leon will see.”

Jose takes another step toward him and grabs his wrist.

”He’s busy.”

Brian tries to wrest his arm away but Jose holds on so tightly Brian knows it will leave a bruise. He tries to evade getting backed into a corner but Jose pushes him back to the wall with ease.

”He doesn’t want anyone else to touch me,” Brian pleads. Surely he knows Leon is a psychopath who would kill for him, that he views Brian as property no one else can fuck with.

”Yeah which is why we won’t tell him, right?”

He touches the loose curls at the base of Brian’s neck. Brian can feel his breath on his face, can smell him.

”You’re just a slut who loves to get on his knees, huh?”

Brian didn’t think about the leverage he was giving Jose when he volunteered to take Carlos’s place. He wonders if Jose ever planned to pimp him out or to just use it as blackmail for an opportunity like this.

”Come on, show me your skills.” Jose leans in to nip at Brian’s neck. Brian tries to push him away but Jose grabs both of his wrists and presses them against his chest, pushing their bodies together.

Brian sees a flash of movement behind Jose’s head.

”Someone—“

”Shh…get on your knees.”

Brian hopes that was Carlos, or Huell, or Leon, someone other than a guard who won’t care that he’s about to be assaulted.

“Jose stop” Brian warns, looking into his eyes, giving him one last chance to rethink this.

Jose pushes him down to his knees, and begins to unzip his pants. Brian closes his eyes, not wanting to see. He goes to that place, the place he used to go with Anders, where he splits his mind and body in two.

”There you go, pretty boy.”

The pet name pulls him back to reality. It’s one thing when Leon calls him that, quite another when Jose does it. While Jose digs in his pants he feels toward his heel, where his pocket knife has been since the first day he got it. He’s never had to use it, until now. He thinks about sticking it right into Jose’s thigh, hopes to hit his femoral artery, wonders if he can plead self-defense. 

Jose is about to pull it out and Brian about to grab the knife when the door slams open, and Jose turns around just in time to see a pan from the kitchen about to collide with the side of his head, knocking him to the floor. 

He writhes on the ground, not unconscious but almost. Brian looks up, and sees Carlos holding it, breathing heavy, and Huell standing behind him in the doorway. Carlos looks at him, brow sweaty, with a look of relief, like he pulled Brian out of a burning car right before it exploded.

”Are you ok?” He asks.

”Yes, Jesus. That was an amazing swing.” Brian is relieved, and impressed.

“Thanks,” Carlos smiles, and pulls him to his feet.

Jose moans on the ground, coming back to life.

”Shit, how are we going to play this?” Brian asks, but before either of them can answer Leon storms into the room.

”What the fuck is all this?” He asks, seeing Jose moaning on the ground holding his head, Carlos still gripping the frying pan and guarding Brian behind him.

Huell clears his throat. “Jose had Brian in the corner over there, was about to force him into something.”

Leon’s eyes flash with anger.

Carlos chimes in. ”Yeah, and I just happened to walk by and see. I went to grab you but couldn’t find you, and then Huell gave me the pan and used his key to open the door.”

“Is this true, Brian?”

”No it’s not fucking true Leon,” Jose pipes in finally. “He’s a fucking slut who wanted to suck my dick, and then his girlfriend over here came in and swung at me for no reason.”

Leon waivers.

Brian steps out from behind Carlos.

”He’s lying Leon. He’s been planning this. He was going to rape me.”

”Oh come on Leon, you said it yourself he’s just an ass and a mouth. We go back years. They’re fucking lying.”

Leon looks at Brian, holds his gaze for three full seconds and Brian feels something there, maybe not love but maybe genuine concern, but it’s quickly masked with something else, something darker.

”Leave,” he says, to no one in particular.

Carlos grabs Brian by the hand and heads toward the door.

”Wait, what? Really? You know he volunteered to suck Hanson’s dick behind your back? Carlos was there, he can back me up.”

Carlos turns back around, and looks directly at Jose and speaks in a calm, flat tone.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Leon grabs Jose’s collar, punching him in the nose.

Brian realizes that Jose isn’t going to make it out of the room alive if he doesn’t do something.

”No, wait,” Brian tries to say while being dragged out of the room by Carlos. “Don’t kill him!” He yells.

”It’s not your fault,” Huell says, to comfort him.

”No, seriously. We have to stop him, he’s going to kill him.”

”He’s a rapist, and a murderer. The world will move on,” Carlos adds.

Brian doesn’t care. He doesn’t want Jose’s death on his conscience. He knows he won’t ever be able to forget the sound of Leon’s fist hitting Jose’s face over and over again for as long as he lives.

He wriggles clean of Carlos’s grasp and sprints over to Leon.

He’s beating Jose at an unrelenting pace, and then gets up to kick him in the torso, Jose barely able to get himself into the fetal position to protect his vital organs.

”You think you can touch what’s mine?” Leon taunts him. His capacity for violence is on full display. Brian always knew he had it in him, feared it, but didn’t think he would be the reason he finally cracked.

”You were always a jealous motherfucker. Always going after my girl.”

“Leon stop! You’re going to kill him,” Brian yells. One of Jose’s eyes is already swollen shut and his nose is broken.

Leon is raging, unable to see or hear anything except Jose’s cries.

”Leon!” He screams again to no avail. 

He tries to push him over but Leon hardly budges, and doesn’t even turn to see Brian standing there.

He’s desperate. Jose is starting to go limp. He may already die from internal bleeding even if Leon stops right now.

In his desperation he throws himself between them, and takes a few blows from Leon before Leon grabs him up from the floor and Brian propels himself into his arms, blanketing his body and forming a barrier between him and Jose.

”Hey, stop, ok. I’m fine, ok,” he says, holding Leon’s head in his hands. 

Jose is moaning on the ground again, which is a good sign.

Leon’s eyes are faraway, like his mind isn’t in the same room.

”Hey, can you hear me? Come back,” Brian pleads.

Leon focuses his eyes on Brian.

”I’m going to kill him,” he finally responds, trying to push Brian off again, but Brian holds firm.

”No, don’t, okay. I don’t want you to. Please. He didn’t touch me.”

”I don’t care, get off.”

Carlos and Huell are standing in the doorway with bated breath.

Leon picks him up to try to deposit him outside of the room.

”No, stop. Ok, stop. I’ll do anything, just stop.” He digs his heels into the ground and uses what little leverage he has to stop Leon’s movement.

“He was going to rape you,” Leon says, holding Brian’s head with both hands.

“I know. But he doesn’t deserve to die.”

“Yes he does.”

Brian has only one card left to play. He kisses Leon softly on the mouth.

“Please, I don’t want you to kill him. Please, for me.”

Leon relaxes his tense muscles and pulls Brian’s body into his.

”Please, I…”

Brian doesn’t want to do this in front of Carlos, but he knows it’s what Leon wants to hear, what he needs right now.

”I love you, please.”

Leon grabs Brian firmly by the nape of his neck, contorting his head so that he has to look into Leon’s eyes. He’s scanning his face for the lie, like he doesn’t believe him. Brian holds his breath.

Whatever he sees there must satisfy him, because he kisses Brian back, consumes him, knocks the wind right out of him, like he’s trying to suck out all the pain and fear from the inside out.

Brian melts into it, can’t help but respond in kind. He knows he’s fucked in the head, for liking Leon, for liking how he makes him feel. He knows he’s playing with fire, a man capable of that kind of violence for him is also capable of enacting that kind of violence against him. His mom had one shitty boyfriend growing up that hit her once and she threw him out of the house and never saw him again. He thought he would be like that, strong, stronger than the man who hit her, but here he is, falling over himself for a man who surely would abuse him if he believed Brian deserved it, who almost killed someone on his behalf, and who only recently started treating him like a human being.

The room remains quiet as the two of them act like they’re the only people in there. Brian’s whole body is hot and he can feel an erection brewing.

Huell coughs, bringing them back to reality. 

Leon pulls away first, holding Brian in place. “Take him to the infirmary. He fell down the stairs,” he says dismissively, looking over at Jose’s battered and bruised form.

He drags Brian out of the room with his arm behind his back and hand on the nape of his neck.

Carlos turns sideways and looks away as Brian and Leon walk out into the main area.

Brian feels the sting of Carlos’s gaze regardless. He knows what he’s thinking without having to hear the words.

But in this moment he only wants one thing, to let Leon drag him into the kitchen and have his way with him. He’ll regret it as soon as his post-orgasm fog lifts, but until then his only thought is whether Leon will want to fuck him on the table or on the floor.

When they get to the freezers Leon lifts him up onto the table and Brian shimmies out of his pants. Leon attacks his neck and Brian pulls Leon’s pants down over his muscular ass, and gasps when he feels how hard he is.

“I won’t let anything happen to you,” Leon says, scooting Brian’s ass to the edge of the table and lining himself up at his entrance. Neither have any patience for prep or desire for foreplay. Leon spits in his hand and Brian finds himself turned on by the gesture, by the way Leon is forging on without hesitation, like he just has to have him, like he would die without him.

”I know.” 

He pushes in, and Brian yelps.

”Say it again.”

Brian lets himself adjust first, breathing through the initial pain.

”I love you,” he exhales. He honesty doesn’t know if he’s lying anymore. If you say something enough you can start to believe it.

“Again.”

”I love you, Leon.” Brian realizes there’s something inside Leon that’s broken, a little kid who didn’t get enough love from his parents. Someone reaching out for attention and acceptance. He realizes that everything Leon has put him through has been a test, a test of unconditional love. He’s been daring Brian to run away, to prove how unloveable he is.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers into Brian’s ear.

“I’m sorry.”

Brian’s not sure what for.

Brian holds him tightly through his orgasm, which arrives shortly. Leon gasps into the space between his head and shoulder, and Brian feels a faint wetness on his neck but when Leon pulls back his eyes are red and dry.

”What did I tell you,” he says, suddenly businesslike, pulling his pants up.

“I…I don’t know.”

”I told you that you aren’t safe. And I was right. When this strike ends I’m having you moved to my cell.”

Brian wants to protest, but Leon does something unexpected, and falls to his knees between Brian’s legs.

”Leon” he gasps, as he takes him into his mouth. It’s so shocking that Brian nearly cums on the spot.

”Oh fuck Leon fuck.” He’s never given Brian head before, and apparently he’s really good at it? Fuck.

“Cum for me,” he says, and then swallows everything that Brian has to give.

A few hours later, Nacho remains calm. He knows Lalo’s capacity to stay quiet for extended periods of time is nonexistent. If he had to do it for more than five hours he might physically burst.

In the end, it’s Lalo that breaks the silence.

Nacho is reading his book on the top bunk when Lalo kicks the bottom of his bed.

”Hey, big man.”

”What?”

”Come here.”

Nacho bookmarks his page, and sets the book down. He swings his legs over the bed and jumps down.

Lalo is lying in the bed with his legs crossed and his arm behind his head. He gestures for Nacho to lay down with him.

Nacho settles in, letting Lalo pull him into his body.

”You were right,” he says quietly into Nacho’s ear.

”Huh?”

”I said…you were right,” he repeats.

Nacho grins.

”Don’t get too happy. I can see you smiling from back here.”

”Can I get that on a recording?” Nacho jokes, turning around and facing Lalo.

“No, you can’t. But savor it, ok. You won’t be hearing it again anytime soon amorcito.”

Nacho chuckles.

”So what does this mean, can I fuck you?” He asks, placing his arm on Lalo’s torso.

Lalo looks down at his hand, pondering what to say next.

”Yes.” He looks back at Nacho with a devilish twinkle in his eyes. “But you have to work for it.”

Nacho grins again. Of course he wouldn’t make it easy.

”Oh yeah, and what would that ‘work’ consist of?”

”Hmm…showering me with gifts, giving me compliments, washing my feet.”

Nacho grimaces. “What the fuck? You don’t wash my feet.”

”I’m just joking, Jesus, lighten up.”

Nacho wants to get this show on the road, stop all the chit chat. He can feel his erection growing in his pants, his body excited at the prospect of orgasming.

He leans in to kiss Lalo, but Lalo jerks his head back.

”Ay, slow your roll Don Juan. We need to talk ground rules first.”

Nacho groans and grabs his crotch, shifting his dick around in his pants so he’s more comfortable.

”Ok, what, what are the rules?”

”Mmm is someone getting desperate? Needy?”

Nacho wants to scream a little. Of course Lalo would make this into another power dynamic where he’s on top.

“Yes, please. I need you, need your ass.”

Lalo’s eyes light up like he’s a carnival game and Nacho just hit the bullseye.

”Mmmm…well first, we have to take it slow. You have to prep me.”

”Of course, yes. I’ll do that.”

”and if it becomes too much you have to stop.”

”Yes, of course, of course.”

”and if I start to feel weird about it you have to stop too.”

”Yes, yes, I will.” Nacho reaches out to touch Lalo, to slide a loose hair around his ear.

”And just so you know I’m gonna fuck you silly after.”

Nacho grins again. “I would love that.”

Lalo reaches out and grabs the back of Nacho’s neck and smashes their lips together.

Nacho works on Lalo’s body like it’s a masterpiece. He intends to prep him for a long time, for as long as Lalo wants him too and maybe longer than that to get Lalo to beg, but of course Lalo gets impatient and pushes Nacho to the ground, taking matters into his own hands. Nacho’s dick slides into Lalo with ease, and Lalo rides him viciously, nearly knocking the wind out of Nacho and recracking a rib.

He cums so hard he almost goes blind, and Lalo pulls off of him and strokes himself off onto Nacho’s chest, and then collapses onto the bed.

”Fucking hell Lalo.”

Lalo doesn’t respond and Nacho thinks for a second that maybe he died of a heart attack. That was a lot of effort for a man his age.

”Jesus Christ I’m spent. That was…fuck. I should have done that sooner.”

Nacho laughs, and rests his arm on his sweaty brow.

Lalo laughs too, realizing how stupid he’s been.

”Fuck. Wanna go again?” Nacho asks.

Lalo huffs. “Yeah…just give me a second.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth the cell doors open, all of them, all at once.

Nacho clamors to his feet and quickly grabs his clothes, rushing to get dressed.

They can hear cheers echoing across the prison, up and down the block.

”Oh shit, it’s over.”

Lalo rises from the bed. He steps out of the cell and Nacho follows. He joins him by the balcony, and puts his arms around his shoulders, lightly kissing the top of his head. They both look down and see inmates streaming out of their cells, elated at being released finally, after six whole days.

”What do you think, huh?”

“About what?” Nacho asks.

“All this here.” Lalo says, holding him tighter.

”It’s ours. You and me, we’re going to take over the world.”

Chapter Text

"Behind."

Lalo's speech is short, intense, lacking his signature lilt. He only talks like this when he's scared, frightened even.

Nacho follows behind him, hand on his right shoulder. It's dark, the moon casting shadows and the errant flash of gunfire the only thing illuminating the house. Nacho curses Eladio's penchant for open floor plans and natural light. They're exposed on all angles, right, left, behind, and above.

"Commandos."

Fring probably hired ex-special forces for this. Columbian or Mexican, trained by the CIA or American special forces to fight the very cartels they work for now. They're fast, and lethal, but dumb and unwilling to take risks. If they don't live to payday none of this matters. 

Eladio traveled with a light security detail this weekend, just three guys working 24 hour shifts on a rotation, something Fring must have figured out after years of tracking his movements—all their movements. Nacho knows he feeds his anxiety with intelligence, preferring to know rather than be blissfully ignorant like the rest of humanity. Nacho wonders if he was always like this or only after Max.

He briefly worked with him in Albuquerque, before Lalo got out and disrupted the carefully crafted détente between Fring and the Salamancas, before Lalo started fucking with the edges of their working relationship, started pushing buttons and poaching talent. Nacho warned Lalo, but this was all part of his plan. Destabilize the entire power structure and hope they can claw their way to the top in the vacuum. Lalo talents are in full force when no one knows what the fuck is going on, so he throws up the pieces in the air and opens the door, letting the air pressure suck out what he can't get to move on a normal day.  He’s the anti-Fring, and if they survive this night and choose to retaliate, it will be a long and bloody campaign.

They step into the hallway. Best not to get stuck at the end of the house when they finally breach past the foyer.

Screaming from the kitchen indicates it's already happened. A burst of gunfire and a crash of glass and broken wood sets Nacho’s teeth on edge. He can smell the gunpowder in the air, hear the sound of heavy footsteps from thick rubber boots.

"Two.”

Only two men between them and however many of Fring's hired soldiers are on this job. Nacho guesses 10, but it could be upwards of 15 with backup.

"Left."

They swerve into the guest room.

"30 minutes until back up arrives,” Lalo says, dropping his cartridge and quickly eyeballing his remaining number of bullets. Nacho knows exactly how many are in his. Just three. Eladio probably called his head of security already, so if they can survive the next 30 minutes, and somehow regain Eladio's trust, or kill him and make it look like part of the attack, they'll make it out alive.

"Safe,” Nacho responds.

If they can make it over there, he can grab more than 90 mm of firepower.

"Now. Cover me." Nacho says. Lalo puts his hand on Nacho's shoulder and looks at him like he’s casting a spell, something for protection.

He opens the door, gun first.

"Go."

Nacho runs, careful to lean to the right so Lalo can pick off anyone who trickles through. They barely need to communicate at this point, their chemistry and experience fighting side-by-side gives them an almost telepathic link into the other’s mind, their tendencies, strengths and weaknesses. For example, Lalo is better with a gun, the better shot, but Nacho is quicker, better at hand to hand combat.

Nacho bends down, his body working faster than his mind, not feeling the sweat on his back, his bulging eyes, or the way his stomach is constricting and his brain slowing down blood flow to his non essential organs.

He types the code in again, taking out as many weapons as he can carry in each hand. He hears footsteps to his left, and feels the rush of a bullet by his ear before he hears it. It almost knocks him over.

He shrinks behind the thick metal door. More footsteps, and then another pop. This time from a smaller weapon. A thud, and Nacho closes the safe door quickly, pinching the rifle from the mercenary’s fallen hand and runs quietly back to the guest room.

He hands two to Lalo and inspects the Bushmaster he picked up. He detaches and reattaches the magazine. 30 rounds and another in his pocket. Lalo slings his over his back, preferring the Ruger he smuggled in for close shooting like this.

"Ready?" 

Nacho sees the whites of his teeth. "Always, mi amor." Lalo is most alive in moments like this, where he gets to improvise, where he’s one wrong move from death.

Nacho moves back into the hallway, stepping into the first room on the right, Eladio's office. Nacho enters first, lifting his gun up and clearing the room from right to left, just like Nestor taught him with broomsticks in the laundry room, after Nacho got his release date.

I want you to be ready, mi vida. For life on the outside again. I can't protect you—you need to know this.

Lalo made it his mission in those last six months to teach Nacho everything he knew about the business. He made Viktor teach him how to launder money, how to pay taxes, how to bribe. He even forced Nacho to take Spanish lessons, because he said his accent made him sound like a gringo and made him an easy target.

It was his way of coping with it; with the fear of not just what might happen to Nacho on the outside but what might happen to them.

"They know."

Another rushes through the door that leads to the kitchen but Nacho and Lalo have their backs against it already and Nacho makes him hit ground with a short burst of his weapon.

"One," Lalo says, watching his face. Nacho remembers Lalo watching him, eating sunflower seeds and spitting into a cup, as Nestor drilled him over, and over, and over again.

Not good enough Nacho, again.

"Two,” Nacho hated him then, but after what happened in Oaxaca, the firefight with Mexican police in Juarez, that time in Albuquerque, and now, he's grateful. Grateful someone cared enough to teach him more than he ever needed to know, just in case.

"Three.” They burst through the door together, Nacho taking right and he taking left. They each hit one man and then the deck, bullets grazing above their heads but deflecting against Eladio's thick marble countertops.

Lalo shoots a couple of warning shots above his head, let them know they've still got ammo.

It's quiet, for a moment.

Lalo eyeballs the stove, and Nacho immediately knows what he's thinking.

"Cover me."

Nacho starts spraying bullets behind them.

When he turns around Lalo has a fire going.

Smoke rapidly fills the room. The smoke alarm kicks in almost immediately, fucking with their night vision and radios.

"Take left."

Nacho crawls around Lalo, and they both duck walk around the kitchen island, below the smoke.

He feels a kick to his ribs that sends him to his hands and knees. Fuck. He's pulled backward by his collar, choking him roughly.

He lets the shirt rip, and evades his grasp. It's dark, and smoky, but Nacho lands a punch somewhere to his lower torso and then kicks him in the chest back into the fridge.

That's it, Nacho. Never forget about momentum. That's all a fight is, momentum. 

He enjoyed learning from Ana, actually. She was a patient and thoughtful teacher, and vicious while sparring.

Just keep attacking until they stop moving.

He pulls out his 9mm and shoots him in the chest before he can recover.

"Too slow."

He runs into the formal dining room. There’s only three rooms left, until they make it back to Eladio’s bedroom, the final boss fight that scares Nacho more than facing 10 heavily armed ex-soldiers.

Lalo is pinned down under the table, with two commandos rapidly circling him.

Nacho hits one in the head, and the other falls back behind the door. 

"How many left?"

"8?"

"How much time."

"Less than 5."

Nacho pulls Lalo up by the wrist.

"Let's split."

Nacho doesn't like the idea. This night ends only one of two ways: they both survive or they both die, but he's not walking out of here without Lalo. He has no desire to live without him, to carry on like some lovesick Zombie like Fring. It makes them the deadliest people in the house right now—makes them fearless. It’s easy to risk your life when there’s only one thing that makes it worth living.

"Be safe."

He pulls Lalo in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 

Lalo smirks, and pulls him back in for a deeper one, not satisfied with the first.

"See you," he says, taking a mental picture of Nacho, giving him that look—the “how could I ever get so lucky” one—the one that made Nacho fall deeply and madly in love with Lalo, the look he gave Nacho after he beat him at basketball, when he flushed his drugs, when he saved himself from the Aryans. See you—it's a promise, and sometimes, a threat.

Nacho pulls away, Lalo holding on until the very last second, afraid of losing contact, afraid of losing Nacho forever.

He heads through the door into the foyer and manages to hide behind a plant before the front door opens, and another two commandos slowly creep in, guns held at the ready.

Nacho waits patiently, shaking, until they shut the door, and then shoots them twice each, pushing the blinds to the side to quickly check for more.

He sees the lights of a stalling truck by the gate, but nothing else. If there are more they’re inside somewhere, and they’ll make themselves known eventually.

He walks quietly into the tv room, and has to dive behind a couch when two commandos run in the other end and start spraying him with bullets.

He army crawls as they rapidly tear through the upholstery and start nipping at his feet.

"Fuck this." 

When in doubt, just shoot, and assume you'll find more bullets later. 

Lalo's lessons never stopped, and he never said a word, never told Lalo it was too much, or that he knew that already. He was patient with Lalo, because he was the one leaving prison, he was the one about to get his freedom back, and Lalo would be the one stuck wondering if Nacho was off getting his dick sucked or bleeding out in a ditch somewhere.

He fires as many bullets as he can through the couch to the other side of the room. When he stops it's silent. He waits, and then stands up, and sees two men on the ground, holding their legs. He shoots them both in the head and moves to the next room.

He's makes his way down to the guest room. Lalo isn't in there, but another set of commandos is, facing away from the door. Idiots.

"Stop," he says. He has the jump on them. Lalo would have shot them in the back already, but he gives them the chance.

"Door is on your right, just leave."

The one on the left twitches.

Nacho shoots, and kills.

The one on the right falls to his knees.

"Crawl."

He drops his gun and starts crawling toward the door.

Nacho hears Lalo yell out in pain.

He doesn't have time to watch this guy leave, so he shoots him in the leg. He screams in surprise. Nothing fatal, but enough to keep him immobilized.

He sprints to Eladio's room. 

Unless he counted wrong, there shouldn't be any more commandos left in fighting shape in the house. There may be some outside, but they're likely bailing at this point, running back to the truck and heading home. They may have reported Lalo and Nacho as multiple people, to make it seem less cowardly.

When he steps through the threshold he sees Lalo on the ground, his guns out of reach. He's holding his right hand with his left.

"Don't move Nacho or I'll shoot his other hand."

Nacho's not concerned about that, he's concerned about Eladio missing and hitting a vital organ.

"Put the gun down, Eladio."

"No. Move in front of me."

Nacho steps back slowly, keeping the rifle pointed at the ground. If he shoots him it will be harder to explain the attack, their role in it. He’s not sure how to play it, hoping Lalo has a plan.

Eladio shifts to pointing the gun at Nacho.

Nacho puts the rifle down slowly.

"Eladio don't do this," Lalo pleads, sitting up slowly.

"Do what, shoot your little maricón? Isn't that what you've always been afraid of? That I'd take him out while you were traveling, while he was on a job? Why you've played so nice the past couple of months?"

Lalo grits his teeth. "Yes." 

"You always thought you were better than me, huh?"

"No."

"Don't fucking lie. Don't fucking lie when you're about to die, Lalo. It's not good form."

"Fine, I did. I am better than you."

Eladio laughs, but it's weak, like he's got something stuck in his lungs.

"I'm not going to kill either of you. I'm going to let my security detail take you to the basement and cut your limbs off one by one and then burn you alive."

Nacho shivers.

"Don't fucking move.”

He notices that he's straining to keep his arms raised.

"Don Eladio are you okay?"

His eyes blaze with fury. "Am I okay?" He mocks Nacho. "I should have killed you the first time I laid eyes on you. A fucking snake in the grass is what you are."

This didn’t have to happen, if you’d just kept your hands to yourself.

"You should have stayed Lalo's prison bitch, would have been safer that way."

Nacho tuts. It’s the first thing his enemies think to bring up, when they’re facing the end of his barrel. They usually don’t live long enough to hear him say he liked it.

Eladio’s phone rings. He picks it up. “Yes, in my bedroom, Lalo—“

Eladio clutches his chest.

Nacho steps forward.

"He's having a heart attack." Lalo says loudly, for his head of security to hear.

Eladio drops the gun, and Nacho catches his body as it falls. He lets him down, onto the ground, gently. Lalo grabs the phone, and hangs up.

He towers over him, and Nacho rises to his feet. They both look down at Eladio’s face, barely visible in the darkness. Lalo grabs Nacho's hand and holds it tight.

Eladio's eyes are wild, but he's lost the ability to speak, his brain starving of oxygen.

"Oh good, you're still there. I want to let you in on a little secret. You're going to die."

Eladio manages to groan below them, twitching his body, trying to reach for something.

"Don’t worry, we’ll take over for you, keep the show running. We might keep this place, it's...fine." Lalo looks around, frowning in dismay.

Nacho watches the veins on his neck dance, realizing he’s never seen a person slowly die of a heart attack. Death is usually quick, in his experience. 

“We're going to burn your memory out of existence."

The light in his eyes start to dim and his skin is dangerously pale.

"You see, Nacho and I will inherit your legacy. We're your natural heirs, and these two maricones are going to spend all your money and shit out all your caviar."

Nacho crouches down, close to his face. His head jerks in alarm. He’s reveling in his one opportunity to be brutally honest, for a change. Let Eladio know—let every man like Eladio know exactly what he thinks of him.

"Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit fucking rapist," he says, and spits in his face.

Eladio moans one last time and then, all the muscles in his body relax at once, and his eyes flutter and fall back into his head.

Nacho’s thinks he’s never seen a more beautiful death, a more moving scene. His rapist, dead by his own hand. 

A few minutes later, Eladio's back up arrives.

It's a clean story—they fought valiantly, protected Eladio, but in the end his body just gave up, the stress triggering a heart attack. No one questions it, and Lalo is there to seize Eladio's seat. His first official act is declaring war on Fring, a distraction to any lingering questions of whether Lalo should be in charge, and Nacho in Lalo's old position.

No one questions a general's mandate until a war is over, and by then, it's too late.

While they bag the bodies and clean up the scene, Lalo and Nacho steal a moment away together in Eladio's bathroom.

They're sitting in the bathtub, Nacho between Lalo's legs and leaning onto his back, fixing the quick bandage he made for Lalo's hand.

Lalo kisses the top of his head.

"You ready to be my first lady?"

Nacho scoffs.

"You wish. I'm your chief of staff."

"Mmm...I was thinking Vice President. Next in line of succession."

"Let's just get through the next 48 hours." There will be decisions to make, meetings to set up, people to kill.

"It's going to be hard," Lalo admits, realizing the enormity of actually achieving their goal all at once. Nacho has never been in a cartel war, but he knows they're bloody, like 50% attrition on both sides bloody.

"I know."

They stay silent for a while, Lalo watching Nacho fix his bandage, Nacho undoing and redoing it multiple times. On the fourth he sighs, “it’s fine.” He’s never been good at letting things go.

”It’s more than fine.”

Nacho leans into his back, and closes his eyes, wanting to stay here, in this tub, in this moment with Lalo forever. Pretend that nothing could ever harm them, come between them. Pretend that they’re guaranteed two rocking chair seats on a porch, watching the sun set with their old eyes.

"I love you, Nacho."

He sits up, and turns around, grabbing Lalo by the neck and leaning in to kiss him. He feels his moustache tickle his lip, his hand on his back; inhales his scent—leather and spice, his shelter from all of life's storms.

"I love you, Lalo, forever."

Present Day

10 days after the strike ended, Brian walks up the steps to find Leon being walked out of their cell, belongings in hand.

He runs to him. “Leon what’s going on?”

“Walker, step back,” Jacobs says.

”Leon, where are they taking you?”

Leon keeps walking, keeping his head straight forward, trying not to look at his face, like he could just leave without saying anything.

”Leon! Answer me!”

Brian is desperate. Are they sending him to another block? Segregation? Did Jose talk?

A crowd is starting to gawk at them.

”Walker, last warning.”

”Please, where are you taking him?” He has to do something, they can’t…they take him away from me. Not after everything we’ve been through.

”Brian stop,” Leon finally says.

“You have one minute,” Jacobs orders.

Brian grabs hold of his shirt as if they’re in private and not standing in the middle of the atrium for everyone to see.

”Brian, let go.”

”No, I won’t. Tell me what’s going on.”

”My transfer got approved, I’m going to San Diego.”

”What?!”

”Listen, just…”

”Tell them you don’t want to go anymore, tell them!”

”Brian—“

”You said you would take care of me! You said we would be together.”

Tears are falling from his eyes. He knows he’s making a scene, but he doesn’t care. He feels like the last two weeks changed everything for them. Leon finally admitted his feelings for him, and started promising him the world. That he would take care of him, they would live together on the outside, that he would pay for Brian’s school.

They spent the first five days in their cell, fucking like newlyweds. 

“I have to, for my kids,” he says dismissively, and pulls Brian’s hands off him, nodding at Jacobs. They start walking down the hallway, to the front doors, the ones you only leave through and never come back.

Brian is left standing there, slack jawed, caught with his dick in his hands.

All that work, all that pain, for what? for Leon to leave him without even saying goodbye?

He realizes what he’s feeling isn’t loss, isn’t sadness, it’s humiliation, and shame. For letting Leon treat him the way he did, for accepting it. For turning a blind eye to all of his selfish and abusive behavior. He was never going to put Brian’s needs before his own, never going to do anything he said. And now Brian has to live with that. With never getting the satisfaction of telling Leon to fuck off. To feel like he recognized his own value and it paid off in the long run.

”Fuck you!” He yells at his retreating figure.

“Fuck you!” He screams to no one, falling to his knees.

Fuck you Leon.

Chapter Text

Weeks and months pass.

Nacho spends his first major holiday in prison. Lalo pays for a proper Thanksgiving feast for the entire block, 12 turkeys, 20 pies, 10 bags of potatoes, the works.

Each month brings in record profits. Lalo puts Nestor in charge of the laundry, and Carlos his number two. The more time Nacho spends with Carlos, the more he grows to like him, and understand why Lalo was drawn to him. He's no Nacho, but he's got a level head on his shoulders, and he respects him for it.

Eight months into Nacho's sentence Ana gets word they're moving her to a women's prison. They throw her a huge party. Huell bakes a massive cake, and they celebrate like she won the lottery. At her send-off party, Lalo hugs her for a while, and whispers something into her ear and then disappears. Nacho finds him hiding in the freezer, his eyes wet. He holds him for a while, feeling the bittersweet emotion of saying goodbye to an old friend.

Nacho starts secretly sending money to his dad through Mingo. He's able to buy new compressors and pay for A/C in his shop, and Nacho calls him every Sunday, without fail, and listens to his dad talk about how good business is, feeling his heart swell.

Rumors swirl. Lalo gets an angry call from Tuco. Nacho has to awkwardly navigate a conversation with Mingo at one point, tries to assure him that he's okay, that he would let him know if he felt unsafe.

Work on the compound starts. Lalo's architect sends printed pictures of the construction, and then Lalo analyzes the photos for hours, and sends back detailed design changes and requests.

Christmas comes, and Lalo buys Nacho a car, a vintage Javelin with a racing stipe he heard him talk about once. Nacho pulls him into the broom closet and sucks his dick like he owes him his life, and Lalo buys him two more just to get him to do it again. 

A few months later, Lucas is released and Nestor grows depressed, gets put on suicide watch a few times. Lalo tries to find him another fish but Nestor refuses, claiming he's not gay. Lalo smuggles in some Lexapro and Nestor finds the strength to go on, but they often find him in the phone room, talking to someone in a low sultry voice. He smuggles in manila envelopes full of something he won't show anyone else, walking straight into the utility closet with them and coming out a few hours later with a relaxed look on his face.

After Leon leaves, Brian withdraws into himself, and spends a few weeks in therapy with Melissa, and gets diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Nacho moves him to the library to keep him safe, and Brian finds him one day in the freezer and apologizes. Nacho forgives him immediately.

It takes Carlos longer. Brian works hard to regain his trust and they rekindle their friendship, slowly. He tells him that he thinks they should just be friends, breaking Brian's heart. He keeps him close though, refusing to let anyone touch him—threatening to fight anyone who even thinks about it like an attack dog. Brian finds himself hot and bothered every time. One night, while partying in the laundry room, Brian gets drunk enough to be brave, and pushes Carlos into a broom closet. They fight, Brian screaming at him about how he won't fuck him and then Carlos does, and Brian cries tears of joy, and they pretty much stay attached at the hip from there on out.

As Nacho's release date approaches, Nacho and Lalo pick little fights with each other, get jealous, moody, fight, and then fuck, and do it all over again until one day Viktor tells them they have to fucking stop or he's going to kill them both and they finally talk about it.

They agree that six years is too long to remain celibate, and that neither can make any promises about how the other will feel after all that time. Nacho agrees to keep in contact, though, and to be his eyes and ears on the outside.

He'll go back to Albuquerque, and be Tuco's number two again, but he'll also be Lalo's emissary in the outside world, taking meetings and passing along messages, working for Hector as Lalo and Tuco at the same time. Lalo jokes that he should just go ahead and change his last name to Salamanca already. Nacho laughs, but then they look at each other for a long time, wondering what the joke was.

Nacho makes Lalo promise he won't fuck Brian or Carlos, and Lalo makes Nacho promise he won't fuck anyone else in the cartel. Nacho scoffs, but then Lalo raises his eyebrow, and Nacho doesn't bring it up again.

They spend the day before Nacho's release in their cell fucking and cuddling and telling each other stories.

The second Nacho leaves Lalo throws himself into the business, scheduling every minute of his day for the first few months. He takes up yoga, gets back into baking, ramps up his German lessons, volunteers in the library, writes poetry, calls Hector, his architect, his interior designer, his accountant and Howard so often Hector calls him to complain about the phone bill.

For Nacho he puts on a brave face, telling him everything is fine, trying not to suffocate him with calls and letters, lets him be his own man. 

He throws more money at his conviction appeal efforts, some good caselaw comes out and he tries not to get his hopes up too high.

Almost six months pass before he fucks anyone else, which for Lalo is like six years. He never takes another fish, finding the whole thing unsavory, just sates his appetite when he needs to, but never indulges. He almost breaks his promise to Nacho one night when he gets too drunk and misses Nacho too much and Carlos wags his eyebrow at him and Brian grins but then he removes himself from the situation and passes out on his bunk, waking up the next morning grateful for his one ounce of self control.

He doesn't hear anything about Nacho--doesn't dare ask him directly. A year after Nacho's release he hears he has a few girls living at his house. Nacho tells him it's just for company, to keep the house warm, and Lalo believes him, can hear in his voice that he's not lying.

There's a firefight in Oaxaca and Nacho gets hit and Lalo smuggles in a cell phone to get updates. Nacho pulls through, and Lalo is so happy he buys him another car.

He keeps the phone, and Lalo discovers sexting and Nacho calls him when he's masturbating to let him listen and Lalo rubs himself raw again like a horny teenager who just discovered internet porn.

He gets caught almost immediately, and smuggles in another one, but uses it conservatively, only for emergencies this time.

Huell gets released and Lalo struggles to replace him. He hears he has a job in Albuquerque with Nacho's old public defender.

The compound finishes, and Nacho stays there when he's in Mexico. It brings Lalo some type of comfort, knowing he’s still providing for Nacho in some way.

Brian and Carlos get released around the same time, and Lalo finds Carlos a job, higher up this time, and he hears that Brian lives with him and that Carlos is paying for him to study sports psychology.

Time passes, and Lalo and Nacho's phone calls grow less frequent; their letters shorter. Lalo wants to reach out more but he hesitates each time, feeling the strain of time and distance start to creep into their conversations.

It starts to feel like it will always be this way and Lalo worries that Nacho found someone, because Tuco keeps saying he's busy and barely sees him and he considers hiring a PI but stops himself, knowing Nacho will figure it out and never forgive him.

And then a miracle happens. HHM uncovers prosecutorial misconduct in his case, and it starts to look like Lalo has a good chance of getting his sentence overturned and released earlier. Nacho doesn't call, and neither does Lalo.

A short Honduran kid with long eyelashes starts working hard to get into Lalo's bed permanently, and he considers it.

But then a judge rules in his favor, and he gets an immediate release date: April 6, 2007. Nacho still doesn't call.

Lalo doesn't sulk, he just plans to hunt Nacho down and kill whoever he's in bed with in front of him and drag him back to Mexico kicking and screaming if he has to. 

On the day of his release, he pushes open the front doors, breathing in the free air for the first time in seven years.

He looks for the black car Hector promised, but it's nowhere to be found.

There's a man waiting at the end of the parking lot. 5'9'', short cropped hair, black button down shirt, leather boots. He's leaning on a vintage Javelin. Lalo smiles. 

"Need a ride?" He asks.

Lalo tries to match his effortless cool.

"Yeah, a ride sounds nice."

Nacho grins, and opens the door for him.

When he sits down, Lalo slides his hand on his thigh and squints into the light.

"Where to?"

Lalo flashes him a smile.

"Mexico, mi amor."