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Their apartment is never quiet.
It’s not supposed to be. Oskar is loud, Jus tilts constantly and is always grunting with frustration, Tim whines and caterwauls at the state of EU soloqueue, Anton lives his life two ganks away from screaming at Fence, and Nick loves to let out squealing moans at every chance during his costreams. Being in a relationship with four other noisy-ass hybrids means that things are never quiet, and Oskar likes things that way. Quiet reminds him of being alone, or silent forests where every creature is scared, or man-made places that don’t allow for life. Quiet means something weird is going on. Quiet isn’t right.
Oskar comes home from a hard day of scrims and finds a quiet apartment waiting for him.
Sometimes, on extremely rare occasions, all of them just happen to not be home or be sleeping. Anton is half-nocturnal, and what with Tim’s love of catnaps, they can’t always be heard through the apartment as anything but snores. Jus has work sometimes. Nick has work all the time. The quietness of the apartment makes the hair on Oskar’s flanks rise. As is habit by now, he leaves his shoes at the door (Tim hates it when they wear their shoes inside) and goes to search the apartment. He likes cuddles, what can he say.
There’s no one in the living room, or the kitchen for that matter, as expected for the level of noise present. When Oskar gets to the office, a little red sign outside the door tells him that someone is streaming. He peeks in and waves hello to Tim, who glances at him but otherwise continues to watch Hell’s Kitchen with his chat. Or- “going to the bathroom, chat, behave,” Tim says before getting up from his chair and meeting Oskar in the hallway.
“Hello there,” Oskar croons. His tail wags with a mind of its own as he leans in for a kiss that Tim easily gives to him. “Miss me?”
“No,” Tim lies. Oskar can read it in his pricked ears, the soft and steady look in his eyes, his slow blinks - so cute. “Need you to do something for me.”
“Oh? Something fun?”
Tim levels him with a glare that actually kind of looks serious. “No.” He lets out a sigh. “Nick is under the bed. I couldn’t get him out.”
“Stuck?” Oskar asks, though the picture is already starting to get clearer in his mind of why the apartment is so quiet. “Or...”
“Not stuck,” Tim says.
That’s enough of an answer.
Nick needs some company. And, when it’s like this, when the monsters in Nick’s head show their terrible faces, Oskar tends to have the most luck scaring them away. “I’ll talk to him,” Oskar says softly, nose pressed to Tim’s temple, soaking up the soft scent of apple shampoo and milk chocolate. “Good stream?”
“Good stream,” Tim agrees. “I’ll stay with Anton.”
“Mm.” Oskar takes one last deep breath and lets Tim go. “Have fun, kotku.”
Tim swats at his tail, then shuts the office door behind himself. Oskar turns around and goes into their bedroom.
At first glance, Oskar can see why he thought the house was quiet and no one was home. Their bedroom looks entirely undisturbed, or at least no more disturbed than normal, with the messiness of the day painted clear throughout the room. The blankets are still tucked in at the ends from Anton doing his morning tidy-up and rumpled in the middle where Oskar and Jus, both late risers, had gotten out of bed after Anton’s efforts. Two hoodies, seemingly picked at random from the closet, are strewn over the dresser. Tim must have been indecisive this morning. And Jus left his glasses-cleaning spray in the midst of Nick’s skincare bottles, which is going to cause another unfortunate accident on his part because he never checks what he’s using, unlike Nick.
But someone’s in here, and Oskar can smell it.
“Nick?”
Something under the bed lets out a soft whine. If Oskar’s ears weren’t pricked, he wouldn’t have heard it.
“Nicky?”
The whining stops. Oskar inches closer to the bed, getting onto his knees to look underneath, but something snaps at his hand as soon as he lifts the edge of the bedskirt. It clacks like teeth.
“Nicky, baby?” Oskar murmurs, throwing in a little whining tone to soothe Nick’s nerves. “Nicky, let me in?”
Poor Nick lets out a pitiful whine, rough and aching, the sound of an animal in pain.
But Oskar tucks the tips of his fingers under the bedskirt, just far enough to feel Nick’s panting breaths over his fingernails, and though Nick lows a groan, he doesn’t bite. “I’m here, Nicky,” Oskar says softly. “I’m here.” He shifts from his haunches to sit on his ass, laying himself down next to where he can hear Nick laying, based on the tiniest scuffles of Nick’s socks against the foot of the bed and his breaths still coming fast and shallow against Oskar’s hand. “Nicky, sniff?”
Nick snorts at him. A growl hits Oskar’s knuckles along with a smooth, sharp tooth. His breaths pick up after a second, though, and his nose bumps into the back of Oskar’s hand as he breathes deep. The smell of one of his favourite people, especially one of his favourite dogs, should help calm Nick down.
“Good boy.”
Ow- okay, yeah, Oskar deserves that nip.
“Nicky, cuddle?”
Nick’s tail fwaps back and forth, hitting against the underside of the bedframe and the floor alternately. His pants scuffle against the floor as he scoots over, and Oskar takes the space he’s offered to curl around Nick. He tucks his tail into the small space between Nick’s thigh and the bedframe, worms his arm around Nick’s waist, pushes his face into Nick’s soft fluffy ears and gets a noseful of dust.
“Ugh, Nicky.” Oskar sneezes hard.
Nick’s face mushes into his chest and a tiny whine vibrates through Oskar’s ribs.
Lovely, lovely, sweet, poor Nicky. “Breathe, puppy,” Oskar cooes. “You’re okay. Not sure why you’re under the bed again, but you’re okay.”
Nick whines. His hands scrunch up in Oskar’s shirt.
“I know, piesio.” He wroofs softly, letting a low, rumbly whine hum through his chest and into Nick’s ears. He even licks Nick’s hair for a second before realising there’s still dust everywhere, and it tastes bad, and his tongue is a little too human for grooming, so he switches to kisses, peppering them all over Nick’s hairline. “Shh, shh. Slow breaths.” There’s not much else he can do to help. It’s a panic attack.
Nick’s brainstem is waging war on his heart and his body, and there’s nothing Oskar can do about it but hold him tight. It makes him tuck his tail between his legs. What use is a guard dog when the threat is from within?
Slowly, slowly, in seconds that feel like minutes and minutes that feel like hours, Nick’s breathing obeys Oskar’s urging. The breaths come softer and softer against Oskar’s cheek until Nick takes one last gulp of air and lets it bleed out of him with all the tension in his body. It’s over at last. Poor, poor Nicky.
A weak, tired groan sneaks out of Nick’s throat.
“Bad this time, hm,” Oskar murmurs softly. “Haven’t been under the bed in a while.”
Nick rubs his cheek on Oskar’s chest, the closest thing he can get to a nod when he’s this exhausted, so worn-out from the stress. “Tired,” he whispers. “Can’t sleep. I’m so tired.” He burrows as deep as he can into Oskar’s embrace.
“Then just close your eyes, Nicky,” Oskar soothes. “Don’t have to sleep. Just rest with me. It’s cosy here.”
That’s a lie - Oskar’s leg is starting to go numb because of how he’s lying on his hip, and his entire left side is covered in dust and a mixture of cloud-white, oil-black, wheat-yellow and mouse-grey hair, and he’s pretty sure his toes just found the hiding spot of all of Anton’s chewed-up earbuds. But it’s cosy for Nick in his thick hoodie, a small, secure space where nothing can get to him. It’ll do him good.
Eyelashes flutter against Oskar’s chest as Nick crumples into him. Oskar makes sure to stick his tail out from under the bed so their other boyfriends will know where they are. Sometimes Nick needs hours to recover from these kinds of things.
---
Jus comes home for gamer dinner, which is basically a normal person’s midnight snack. Living on different life schedules feels weird, especially when Oskar used to be on that schedule, too. But with Nick staying home, and Tim and Anton streaming on their own hours, and Oskar going back into ERLs, they’re split between properly sleeping at night and sleeping from 3 to 11 every day.
Their dear rat and cat have made themselves scarce, since Tim’s anxiety sometimes gets set off by Nick’s panic and Nick’s heavy breathing reminds Anton of his worst asthma attacks. (Anton also doesn’t want to leave Tim alone, but he doesn’t ever admit that. He’s a secret softie.) Jus is a pack creature, though, and he wants nothing more than to hold Nick tight on these terrible days. Unfortunately for him, there’s no world where he fits under the bed without injuring himself or the bedframe. It’s best to keep Jus on delivery duty.
He checks in on them as soon as he gets home, the lock clunking shut behind him and his shoes hitting the wall, then settling onto the shoe rack. Oskar can hear the hum of the microwave and then Jus’s firm footsteps in the hall, accompanied by the sound of his breathing. He thwaps his tail against the floor to let Jus know he’s awake. Jus wroofs at him before he leaves to eat his dinner.
Time had slipped through Oskar’s hands like sand, he realises. It always does when he’s with one of his boyfriends, even more so when he’s trying to help them feel a little better. If Jus is home already, then it must be well past sunset, closer to midnight than dinnertime. His stomach growls softly to remind him.
Nick’s ears twitch at the noise, so Oskar knows he’s awake, but at the same time, sudden noises are bad for any dog. Best to start off with a little rumbling, soft and soothing, warming Nick’s ears up to the sound of speech bit by bit. “Wanna come out?” Oskar says in his quietest murmur once he’s ready.
Of course, just because Oskar was gentle about asking doesn’t mean Nick will be convinced. He practically does a puppy-snarl into Oskar’s chest with the vehemence of his rejection.
“You gotta eat, Nicky,” Oskar says. “I’m hungry, and I’m sure you’re hungry too, no? Can’t have dinner in here.” It’s too restricting under the bed - comforting, yes, but just like the cosiest, softest, warmest, fluffiest heap of blankets in bed, one cannot eat a meal whilst in it.
“I know.”
“Could you stick your head out? Or I could burrito you. Doner puppy.” Oskar smiles at the image in his head - maybe he should buy one of those blankets that’s designed to look like a flatbread, so he can wrap his various boyfriends in it. A weighted blanket would be even better.
Nick sighs. “Might work,” he murmurs. “Turn off the lights. And... p-pull blanket down. Think I’ll be okay under the duvet.”
“Should I stay with you? Crownie can make your food.”
Nick sighs softly. “Please.”
“Cover your ears, piesio.” Once Nick’s ears are firmly tucked under his hands to protect them from the noise, Oskar turns his head towards the door and lets out a howl just loud enough to be heard everywhere in the flat. Dog skills are very useful sometimes.
In just a few seconds, Jus steps into the bedroom and promptly prods Oskar’s tail with his toes. “Need something?” he says. Oskar can hear him crouching down, and he twists his body around to face Jus.
“Food for Nicky,” Oskar answers, making sure to keep his voice soft even if it’s directed away from Nick. Jus gets on his knees to look him in the eye - Oskar is too far under the bed for nuzzles, but even just seeing his wolf makes his tail thump against the floor again, at least until Nick shudders at the noise. “Meat and cheese slices in the fridge, right? Do we have crackers too?”
“Mild,” Nick whispers. Oskar can feel his lips moving on his shoulder.
“Don’t bring anything smelly,” Oskar says. “Or anything strong. If Tim ate all the chicken then maybe just bring crackers and the mozzarella.”
“He needs to drink, too,” Jus thinks out loud. “Does he want juice?”
“Always want Jus,” Nick jokes weakly, drawing on Anton’s mispronunciation of Jus’s name. “D-don’t think you’ll give me coffee?”
Oskar can’t help but laugh a little. It’s good that Nick is recovering enough to tease, even lightly. “Absolutely not,” he says to Nick’s request. “Tea instead?”
“Chamomile?” Jus suggests.
“Mint,” Nick says, just barely lifting his voice high enough to reach Jus’s pricked ears, and though it takes seemingly all his energy, he smiles for it. Jus’s tail starts wagging at the sound. He’s so whipped for them all, honestly.
“I’ll check if we have any mint left,” he soothes with a soft rumble. “Keep him safe,” he says as he gently strokes Oskar’s tail. “Love you, Nicky.”
Nick lets out a weak happy-whine.
“Here, here, I’ll hold it up for you,” Oskar murmurs as he holds the duvet over his head. Its softness blocks out what seems like the entire world. Even with his sharp hearing, everything sounds muffled and gentle, and the air stays warm around them like a protective bubble. It’s dark, but Oskar’s eyes work alright in low light. He’s had plenty of time to adjust. Nick eases himself out from under the bed and into Oskar’s lap, slouching low to still feel small and surrounded and protected. His shoulders shake. Oskar kisses his ears. “Eat, puppy.”
And bite by bite, little squares of cheese paired with pieces of chicken laid atop plain crackers, Nick eats his dinner. It’s good, it’ll help him keep his strength up and recover properly from the hell he’s just been through. The repetition of picking up each bite and tucking it into his mouth keep his mind occupied for a bit so he can decompress. Taking care of Nick requires striking that delicate balance between overexerting his mind and resting it to the point of self-destruction.
Oh, lovely, pretty, strong, worry-inducing Nicky.
That’s okay.
Oskar doesn’t mind the challenge.
When the food is gone, and Jus pads back into the room, his big-ass feet making intentional noise so Nick knows where he is, Oskar gives Nick an extra squeeze. “Bed? Can’t be under it when Jus lays down.”
Oskar can practically hear Jus biting his tongue on an irritated clapback.
“Bed,” Nick agrees with a soft sigh. “Tired, now.”
Oskar whines in sympathy. He keeps Nick in his arms as they stand up, giving him a little soothing compression and of course a familiar scent. They don’t get the chance to brush their teeth, but whatever. “Did something happen?” Oskar asks as he settles in for the night with his arms wrapped tight around Nick’s chest.
“No. It just- it just got weird. Inside my head.” Nick pulls Jus into the cuddles, too, for even more warmth and smell and comfort. “Just weird,” he murmurs into Jus’s shirt.
“Sorry, Nicky,” Jus murmurs, careful to be extra-quiet.
Nick’s throat rumbles softly. “It’s okay. Only so much you can do.”
“Still,” Oskar rumbles. “Let me be here for you, yeah?”
Nick rubs his ears against Oskar’s neck and nods.
---
In the middle of the night, Oskar gets jostled by two new bodies entering the fray, both skinny and sharp-edged but smelling like home. Soft, round ears brush over Oskar’s cheek. Jus lets out a big wroofing sigh in his sleep. Nick shudders and shifts, and a gentle purring starts up to soothe him again.
With the last of his wakefulness, Oskar smiles. Their days may not always be easy, but together, he and his dog and his rat and his cat and his wolf will be okay.