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“No, absolutely not!”
The Olympic Coven was gathered in the living room of their home for a meeting of the upmost importance. At least, it was important to Edward.
The teenage vampire looked five seconds away from blowing up on his sister. The sister in question, Rosalie, was draped across a couch.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve clarified,” Rosalie said looking an awful lot like the cat that just caught the canary. “We’re not asking permission. I’m telling you we’re covering your murders.”
“They’re my victims Rose! I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation! It was bad enough you were covering your own murders but now this...”
“No one knew it was me, obviously,” Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I backed up all my sources. Our podcast is known for doing its' research after all.”
“I don’t care, you’re not allowed to do my cases!”
Rosalie scoffed. “Who died and made you king?”
“Carlisle please,” Edward turning towards his maker.
“This is an issue to solve among yourselves,” Carlisle said, his voice calm. “I’m not getting involved.”
“You’re just in it so Esme can get the free Hello Fresh subscription they sent us!” Edward exclaimed, turning back to Rosalie and Emmett. “Please don’t do this-“
“First episode has already been posted,” Emmett grinned.
“What! No-“ Edward scrambled to grab his cellphone.
“We already have some reviews on Apple Podcasts too,” Emmett boasted, pulling out his phone. He cleared his throat before reading in a high pitched valley girl voice. “So glad my favorite podcast is back! Emmett and Rosalie are so cute together! I’m glad to hear season two will be much longer since there’s so much more to cover!”
Edward buried his face in his hands. “This is not fair! Just because you finished Rosalie’s crime spree-”
“Just because you finished your victims doesn’t mean you get to move onto mine!” Edward said, opening apple podcasts to find the podcast.
“But Eddie, there’s so much more material with you,” Emmett said.
“Why is the cover image for season two a syringe?” Renesmee asked, looking over her father’s shoulder.
“Were we supposed to put fangs on the cover?” Rosalie asked. “He drained them of their blood. He had to have found someway to get that out.”
“What about season one?” Renesmee asked, reaching for her father’s phone. Edward quickly snatched it out of her reach.
“A hatchet,” Rosalie said. “We decided to keep with a weapon of choice theme.”
“Wicked,” Renesmee grinned. “Hey, if you get a Chewy sponsorship, does that mean we can get a dog?”
“No dog,” Bella said, giving her daughter a look. “Nice try.”
“Yeah, one of us would probably end up eating it, sorry Ren,” Emmett said, apologetic.
Renesmee huffed, crossing her arms, but didn’t argue.
“Why did somebody comment ‘that even though they don’t know what I looked like, they bet I’m hot?!?” Edward asked, scrolling through the reviews. “I was a serial killer! I murdered people! Are these people unwell?”
“Maybe but they definitely think you’re unwell too,” Emmett said. “There’s about ten different people who are speculating on what mental disorders you might have.”
“I’m not-” Edward huffed. “Why will you not let me be free from my sins?”
“Because it’s fun, Edward,” Rosalie snapped. “Have you ever had fun before?”
“Guys come on, this is pretty mean,” Bella said, placing her arm over Edward’s shoulder. “Edward regrets his past. Do we really need to keep bringing it up?”
Edward’s gaze softened at that. “Thank you Bella, I am glad at least someone,” he turned to glare at Emmett and Rosalie, neither of whom looked remorseful. “Understands my pain.”
“Of course,” Bella said, kissing her husband on the cheek. “We should let the past die.”
“So how does this work?”
Bella sat in a comfy chair as Emmett adjusted the mic in front of her.
Rosalie and Emmett had converted part of his room into a recording studio. What had once been two chair and a microphone had been upgraded as the viewers increased.
“It’s basically just going to be us going over the case,” Rosalie said, motioning with her hand. Her blonde hair was in a ponytail, headphones already over her ears. “We’ll go through it in a linear fashion. I think your insight into psychology with your recent masters should be interesting. Just remember to be calm and not speak quickly.”
“Gotcha,” Bella said as Emmett offered her a set of headphones as well.
“How do you feel about Renesmee coming on?” Rosalie asked. “I told her I would feel fine about it but she should probably speak to you first.”
“Thank you,” Bella said. “Let’s see how this episode does first before you record with her, huh?”
“Sounds good to me,” Emmett said. “Though, I won’t lie Bells, I already got a case in mind for when Renesmee comes on.”
Bella chuckled. “I’m sure if it happens she’ll be thrilled.”
“Alright, well if there’s nothing else, let’s get started,” Rosalie said.
Bella nodded.
Rosalie motioned to Emmett to start recording.
“Welcome to Rest in Pieces, your favorite true crime podcast about Historical Vigilante Serial Killers, I’m your host Rosalie Hale…”