Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“C’mon, Riku!” Sora encouraged him, waving at him from where he had dashed ahead. “You call that running?”

Riku huffed, smirking a little, taking his sweet time to catch up with him. “If I ran everywhere like you, I’d have no energy left for fighting. I’m pacing myself.”

“Man, Riku,” Sora lamented mockingly, shaking his head in disapproval. “Lighten up a little!”

“This is my happy face,” Riku stated plainly. “I'm just not a total sap like you.”

Sora clicked his tongue. “It wasn't this bad before. You’ve gotten old .”

“And it’ll happen to you too,” he replied, without missing another beat.

Sora responded with another of his cheeky grins and rushed ahead once again. “ Slowpoke ! I’m going to find all the ingredients before you do!”

“Good!” Riku shouted back. “Makes things easier for me!”

Sora just laughed.

It’s been too long since they’ve had time to joke around like this without a care in the world. Last time must have been… back before their entire adventure started on Destiny Islands. Although it hadn’t really been that long, it had felt like several lifetimes ago. Things were different now, they were both Keyblade Wielders about to start a fight of their lives.

But that was tomorrow.

For now, they’re on a short little trip to collect some Synthesis materials. Mickey, Aqua, and Yen Sid wanted everyone to be as ready as they could, which just didn’t include things like training, but their items and equipment too. And so, he and Sora were tasked to find the last few rarer materials in other worlds.

Even though technically, he was the Master of the two of them and had the prestige to call shots, Riku was happy to let Sora take the lead, even though he wasn’t quite happy with stomping through a cocktail of mysterious tainted water of the swamps of Corona.  Apparently Sora knew ‘just the spot’ to find all their ingredients. He could pull rank, but he didn’t want his Master title to get in the way of their friendship, especially since he personally believed Sora deserved to be a Master more than anyone.

They had come here after stopping briefly at the kingdom to say hi to some of Sora’s friends while they were there. Riku, though, kept his distance; he was certain they were nice people, especially since one of them was a Princess, but he wasn’t as much of a social butterfly as Sora was. The kingdom did seem like a nice place, he’d like to come visit again with Sora and Kairi after this is all over. Maybe they can finally fulfill their childish dream of exploring other worlds together.

“Stay close,” Sora warned him, slowing down so he could walk alongside him. “It's really easy to get lost. Trust me.” 

Riku chuckled. Says the guy who runs off ahead. “Personal experience?” 

Sora laughed a little nervously. “ May be.” Definitely then. 

“So, how far off is this spot?” Riku asked as he carefully stepped around a muddy sinkhole. This place felt a little like a deathtrap waiting to happen.

“Hmm,” Sora wondered out loud. He slowed by a tree and opened the map on his Gummiphone. “This should be the spot. Last time I was here, it was crawling with Heartless and Nobodies…”

Letting Sora hash out their location, Riku took the opportunity to scan the treeline, unable to shake the eeriness of this place. This place was an ambush waiting to happen, it was just too hard to see if anything was lurking in the shadows. And as it so happens, Heartless and Nobodies love the darkness. He flexed his right hand, ready to summon his Keyblade if he needed to. He glanced at Sora, who was now looking curiously up at a tree.

“Sora…” he said his friend's name in warning, fearing a potential attack.

Sora tilted his head at his name, but he didn’t reply. Then in a flash, he whipped around, his Keyblade flashing in his hand as he pointed right at him. Riku was so startled at being the end of Sora’s weapon, he didn’t react, but Sora then flashed a cheeky grin and pointed his Keyblade up in the air. 

“Wind!”

A violent wind sprouted in the stagnant air and Riku watched in shock as a collection of Heartless, Nobodies, and loose debris were dragged out of the bushes and trees. From the tree Sora was investigating, a flock of Flutterings were ripped from their perches in the wiry branches.

Eventually the Aeroga spell came to an end and he and Sora found themselves back to back as the surviving Nobodies and Heartless circles around them. Were there more than there was before? 

“This is going to be rough,” he said to his friend over his shoulder.

“ C'mon , Riku,” Sora replied cheerily, eyeing down a nearby Heartless. “We can handle a bunch of low level cronies.” 

Riku huffed in amusement, turning his focus back to a Reaper Nobody who seemed to be wavering closer and closer. “Just like old times.” He readied his stance. “I’ve got your back.”

“And I’ve got yours!”

Then he and Sora struck at the circling horde before any of them could attack. 

Riku knew he was a competent fighter who could hold his own, he’s been in so much more worse shticks than this. But he kept finding that his balance was getting thrown off in a strange way. It was this marsh mud and water, and hidden sinkholes covered by weeds that made fighting in this terrain feel like he was dancing around Seeker Mines. Still, he was adaptable and was able to hold his own, but Riku was starting to lose his patience with how the thick brackish water clogged and weighed down his clothing and shoes.

He glanced over at Sora who didn’t seem to be having a problem at all, at least in regards to the terrain. Sora seemed to know exactly where to step and kept his footsteps featherlight, dashing from enemy to enemy without losing a beat. Compared to him, Sora did have the terrain knowledge, having been to this world before, but Sora had always been way more flexible and better at air combos than he was. 

Riku grunted in annoyance as his foot disappeared into another hidden sinkhole, which created an opening for yet another Reaper nobody to slash at him. He felt a sharp bite of pain as the magic cut into his being.

“I’m here!” Sora was immediately by his side, a raging Fire spell shooting out from his Keyblade and alighting the Nobody in a burst of flames. 

While Sora moved to engage the Nobody in front of him, Riku quickly retrieved his soggy leg from the sinkhole, slashing at the pair of Flutterings who had gotten a little too close, their freed Hearts disappearing into the air. When he looked up he saw Sora getting swarmed by several more. Jumping to his friend’s aid, he used a Magnet spell to pull them away. Sora only managed to blink a silent thanks before their attention was brought to the circling enemies.

This was quickly getting out of hand. Sora was right, enemies were literally swarming the area and he was starting to have a hard time keeping up. It didn’t help that he kept losing his footing in this marshy terrain. 

“Sora!” He called out, though he was uncertain where his friend was in the chaos. “We gotta run!” Riku used his shoulder to bodycheck a Heartless away and he turned to look for Sora.

He saw Sora standing a bit aways, looking beat up and out of breath. It looked like he was ready to collapse. If Riku had more time, he would have noticed the dark, seething look in his friend’s eyes. Riku rushed to help, but was blindsided when something crashed into his side. The watery ground caused him to slide and tumble halfway into some nasty mossy dank water. He spat out the little that got in his mouth, taken off guard by how awful it tasted. This stupid mud.

He heard a noise and looked up, surprised to see a Heartless about to strike. Riku cursed to himself, raising his Keyblade to defend himself. But his stance was all wrong, he wasn't going to be able to block in-

Riku closed his eyes and braced for impact.

But the attack never came.

A slice of a keyblade had cut through the Heartless in one fell swoop. Riku opened his eyes and breathed a sigh of relief as he watched the freed heart float into the air and out of sight.

“Thanks Sora.” He pulled himself up to his feet, turning to his friend to continue his thanks when he froze. 

Riku flinched, taking a hesitant step back because standing right before him was the shadowy form of a Heartless, but not one he’s seen before. It looked… somewhat like a Neoshadow, but there was something strange about it. A new Heartless perhaps? But then why did it seem so… familiar ? That’s when a silent horror crept in as he recognized the vague silhouette of his best friend, the darkened form of the Kingdom Key in his grip. 

Old memories flooded his mind: a resentful shadow he had pulled to fight its owner from a dark past he tried so hard to atone for. 

An awful stench of darkness rushed his senses and he covered his mouth and nose with his free hand. It was almost unbearable. Anger, stress, desperation, fear, pain - Riku could feel it all.

Was that really Sora ? Was all this darkness his ?

He only had a second more to process the developing situation before the shadow flipped around to engage the remaining enemies, vanishing in a blink of an eye and reappearing next to an enemy.

“Sora…?” he called out weakly as he watched the dark blur dart from enemy to enemy with an increasing rabid intensity, tearing into them mercilessly. 

Those Heartless and Nobodies didn’t even stand a chance. They were ripped apart in a flurry of dark claws and strikes. It all happened so quickly, Riku didn’t realize it was all over until moments later. The only thing was him and the menacing shadow. But even the absence of enemies didn’t stop Sora from frantically scanning his surroundings, scampering to and fro, looking for something else to fight.

Riku felt like he was in a trance. He just couldn’t find it in himself to say or do anything, he was just frozen in place watching the scene unfold in slow motion. He was suddenly startled by a rustle in the bushes and out popped a deer. The animal sprinted towards an opening in the nearby trees away from the swamp.

Two sharp eyes tracked the deer, looking poised to attack.

“Hey!” Riku shouted, fearing the worst.

Suddenly, those sharp eyes were on him. Not a second later, the shadow rushed at him. Flinching, Riku jerked up his Keyblade in defense. However, instead of attacking him, it slid to a stop and flipped back,  a single hand on the ground to stop momentum and just… waited. Riku was confused for a moment, before he remembered who was behind that dark visage.

Stupid, he reprimanded himself, de-summoning his Keyblade immediately. This was Sora, one of his closest friends. Even if he was in this state, Sora would never intentionally hurt him. 

Sora continued to stare at him with those crimson gold, unblinking eyes, as if he was waiting for something. Although this shadowy dark form didn’t seem to allow Sora to speak, it still seemed as though his friend was aware enough to know who he was. While that was a small relief, Riku couldn’t help the inner panic as he thought about what to do next.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to figure anything out because the darkness around Sora began to tremble, melting away in long, dark wispy trails into the humid air.

Sora staggered forward, his head emerging from the shadowy folds gasping for air like he had been holding his breath underwater. Riku stepped forward to catch him, but Sora managed to regain his balance and came to a stop, hands on his knees. He was breathing heavily, shivering like he was cold.

“Sora!” He worriedly placed a hand on his shoulder.

His friend looked a little pale and was pretty winded, but other than that, he looked fine. Better, actually; whatever wounds Sora had sustained before were now healed as if he had casted a strong Cure spell. Sora coughed a bit, taking one more deep breath and slowly unfurled himself from his slouched position. He met his eyes and immediately perked up.

“Riku!” He exclaimed in concern, as if he hadn’t just transformed into a Heartless-like thing. “Are you okay?”

Riku sputtered, at a complete loss. “Am I okay? That’s what you’re asking?”  He stared at Sora in disbelief. “Did you just-...” Turn into a Heartless again? Use the darkness? Something else? 

Sora stared blankly at him for a long moment before he finally blinked. “Oh, uh…” His eyes darted nervously from side to side as he sheepishly scratched his cheek with a single finger. “I’m okay.” 

“Okay?” Riku balked. “You really expect me to believe that?”

“Yeah, no big deal,” Sora replied nonchalantly. He gazed at him worriedly. “You aren’t hurt, are you?”

“No, I’m fine,” he answered, miffed that Sora was just so willing to disregard what just happened.

Sora smiled a smile that seemed a little too wide. “That’s good.” He produced a small drawstring bag. “Let’s get going then! Those mobs dropped the last few things we need, so we can head back now.”

The last thing Riku wanted to do right now was let Sora steer the conversation away from what just happened, but it didn’t make sense to press for an answer, especially when more enemies could easily show up. As a last ditch effort, he gave his friend a hard stare hoping he could quietly intimidate his friend into explaining, but Sora just returned his gaze with earnest eyes.

Like nothing was wrong, his mind described. Never before that descriptor seemed more ominous than it did now.

“Okay,” he conceded. “But it doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.”

A shadowy emotion flickered Sora’s eyes for a moment before he just gave him a smile. Then without another word, Sora walked past him, back the way they came. Riku stared at the spot Sora once stood and then out into the tarnished marshy land. There was an uneasiness that wasn’t there before, different from the anxious anticipation of the final battle they would undertake in just a few days. 

This felt more personal and scary.

Was all that darkness really Sora’s? And why does he seem so okay with it?

It took him a long time to come to terms with the darkness in his own heart. In the end, it was not rejecting it, but learning to accept it as a part of who he was. That darkness he had just witnessed was different from the lingering, suffocating weight of his own darkness.It was overwhelming, explosive, sudden - like a hurricane.

Sighing, Riku finally turned to follow after Sora, something new already weighing down his heart. The walk back on the Gummi Ship was less cheery and carefree than it was before. There was a tension in the air that both of them seemed unwilling to break. And although Sora continued to offer him cheerful smiles when he caught him staring, they were brief and tight. 

Although Sora had wanted to stop by the Kingdom again before leaving earlier, now he seemed eager to leave. Riku didn’t want to argue with him anymore, so he relented and without too much fanfare, they boarded their Gummi Ship for the tower.

They sat in silence for what seemed like a long time. And only then did Riku finally find the courage to finally speak again.

“Sora?”

“...Yeah?”

“What was that back there?” Riku glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, making sure to keep his eyes on the route ahead of them.

Sora was looking out the window of the Gummi Ship. “Oh that?” He let out a laugh that sounded a little too loud. “No big deal.”

Riku gave him a look. “You know I don’t believe that.”

“ Relax , Riku. It’s just a thing that happens sometimes.”

Hearing that made him almost jerk the steering wheel straight off its bearing. He whirled around to look at Sora in disbelief. “This has happened more than once ?”

Sora jumped at his sudden movement, looking just as shocked as he was. He then avoided his gaze, shrugging slightly. “...Yeah, I guess so.” He paused. “It doesn’t hurt,” he added, as if that somehow made it all okay.

He frowned at him. “Am I supposed to be happy to hear that?”

Sora’s expression suddenly grew tight and there was a sharp flare in his eyes. “So what if I use the darkness sometimes? You use it all the time,” he snapped back.

The fierceness of Sora’s words and tone had taken him by surprise. While he had known Sora to lose his temper on occasion, he hadn’t been on the receiving end since he had been a selfish brat over a year ago and even then it was deserved. Sora didn’t easily turn his anger on his friends, so it was a little… strange.

‘You never had before,’ Riku replied silently in his head, turning to look forward again. ‘And I don’t turn into a Heartless-like when I do. ’

“I’m just worried, Sora,” he replied back calmly.

“Don’t be,” was Sora’s clipped reply. “I’m fine.” And after a short moment, he spoke again, though he sounded less angry and more remorseful. “Sorry. Let’s just get back, okay? I promise this won’t get in the way.”

That response made Riku a little sad. He had been too worried about Sora himself to think about any impact this could have had going into their upcoming battle. It sounded as if Sora was more worried that he would be a burden than he was of his transformation.

“...Sure,” Riku replied quietly, unable to figure out the right words to comfort his friend.

The trip back to the Mysterious Tower was tense and quiet. They arrived back without incident. Ventus was there to greet them with a bright smile on his face.

“Hey guys, back already?” Ventus smiled at them both, though his smile faltered a bit when he met Sora's eyes.

Sora smiled back, but avoided his look. By how tense his shoulders was, Riku knew he was uncomfortable. Nonetheless, Sora retrieved the drawstring bag of materials from his pocket and gave it to Ventus. “Here you go, just as requested.”

“Nice!” Ventus took the bag. “Now we just have to wait for the others to get back.”

After an uneasy moment, Sora offered Ven that same shadowed smile he had given Riku earlier, before making his way into the tower without another word. Ven's smile faded as he watched Sora go in, a slight suspicion in his eyes. Riku wondered if he could sense that something was off about Sora. After all he had been in Sora's heart for almost his whole life.

“Did something happen?” Startled, Riku looked up to see Ven was looking at him now. Still friendly, but there was an intensity in his gaze.

“I…” For a moment, Riku thought about telling him about what he had witnessed Sora do, but… something made him hold his tongue.

Actually, Ventus could offer some insight into Sora, after all, he had been inside Sora’s heart for a long time. In fact, maybe Mickey or even Aqua could be of help, but… telling them felt wrong. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust any of them, he knew they would be kind and understanding, and do all they could to help. But Sora’s darkness… It felt way too personal. It felt callous to just throw this all out in the open and put Sora on the spot, especially when he knew how stressed his friend was already.

“Riku?” Ventus was still looking at him, brows furrowed.

“Sora’s just a little tired,” he said, which wasn’t a lie. Sora had looked drained. “It wasn’t easy getting those materials.”

“Oh, okay,” he said with a nod. Riku found it hard to tell if Ven actually believed him or not, but he didn't question it. “You guys should rest up then. Oh, Lea brought some fancy cake from that Twilight Town bistro if you or Sora want some.”

“Sure thing,” Riku replied. Cake sounded pretty good right now, but his thoughts were too unsettling to stomach any food right now.

Riku parted ways with Ventus, who went to deliver the materials to Mickey and the others. And he went to look for the only other person he knew would understand this situation the way he did. He rushed up the staircase, nearly bumping into someone as walked into a room.

“Woah, woah, where’s the fire?” It was Axel - or Lea, as he liked to be called now, right? He’d have to get used to that.

“Lea. Where’s Kairi?” he asked, skipping the pleasantries.

Lea scoffed a little. “You’re as brash as she says,” he replied with a chuckle and Riku frowned. And what stories has Kairi been telling about him? “She’s upstairs in the living room.”

“Thanks,” he replied, walking around him to head right there.

Riku heard Lea say something after him, but he was in too much of a hurry to worry about what he could have said. The Living Room wasn’t too hard to find, he had been a resident of the Mysterious Tower for quite some time now. It was almost like home. Almost.

Entering the room, he found Kairi sitting on the couch with a notepad of some kind, writing - or drawing? - with a pen. She jumped a little when she heard him come in, but relaxed when she recognized who he was. She closed her notepad and clipped the pen she had been using to its side, setting it on her lap.

“Riku, you’re back,” she greeted him with a smile. “Does that mean Sora’s back too?”

He smirked a little. These two were always on each other’s minds. Riku just wished he had better things to say. “Yeah, he is, but I need to talk to you about something.”

Kairi narrowed her brows. “Is it about Sora?”

It always spooked Riku a little how good Kairi’s sixth sense was when it came to Sora. “Yeah, how did you know?”

Kairi held her hands together. “Just a feeling I got.” She met his eyes, face concerned. “What happened?”

“Well…” He sat down on the couch next to her, now just realizing how difficult this was to explain. “Has Sora told you about his time as a Heartless?”

Hearing this made Kairi stiffen, and she looked extremely uncomfortable. He was too, Sora’s sacrifice for her was not a fond memory for the both of them. Even though he had been completely overtaken by Ansem at that point, he had watched it all unfold through his eyes, in complete guilt and despair. It had been at that moment when he realized what an idiot he had been and the price not just him, but his friends had to pay too. Riku was glad that he had such good friends who were ready to forgive him and with their support, he was able to grow past it all. Still, that moment haunted his worst nightmares.

It seemed as though it haunted Sora too.

“A little,” she eventually answered. “Not much.”

“Has… he ever mentioned any… side effects?” That’s one way to put it at least.

“...No,” Kairi replied with a slight frown. 

“When we were out gathering the Synthesis materials, we got ambushed,” Riku began to explain. “It was a rough fight, we were overwhelmed. I was careless and was taken off guard, but Sora… he saved me.”

Kairi was uneasy. “That’s… good, right?”

“That’s the thing…” Riku found it hard to meet her eyes. Even though he knew Kairi would never blame him for what happened. He just couldn’t help but feel responsible somehow. After all, he had orchestrated Sora’s demise when he had been possessed by Ansem. He couldn't help feeling at fault. 

“Riku, whatever happened, I’m sure you did your best,” Kairi told him encouragingly, like she read his mind. “Like you always have.”

Riku smiled a little at her words. Her words were always a light in the darkness. “Sora transformed into this… Heartless form.” That was the best way to describe it. “He was enveloped in darkness and had those glowing red eyes. He was still Sora because he knew who I was, he still even had the Keyblade, but he looked and acted just like a Heartless.”

“He did?” Kairi was deeply concerned, but she didn’t seem too surprised. Maybe she knew something? “Is he okay?”

“Physically? A little tired, I think, but otherwise okay,” Riku told her honestly. Darkness was not known for its healing properties, but Sora's had somehow. “But I’m not worried about his physical self…” He leaned back on the couch. “When he transformed, I could sense what he was feeling.” Remembering how it felt, he placed his hand on his nose and mouth again. “Anger, stress, desperation, pain… it was all things Sora was feeling at that moment.”

Kairi had a pressed look on her face, as if she was feeling all that Sora had felt in that moment. “I was afraid of this.”

Riku looked at her surprised. “You know something?”

“Not really,” his friend admitted, putting her notebook aside on the nearby table. “But I’ve noticed that Sora’s… different. He seems like our same old Sora, but I don’t feel like he’s being as sincere as he used to be.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. Not sincere? Sora ? That seemed just as silly as the idea of having a Heartless form, but here they are.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Kairi replied honestly, tilting her head thoughtfully. She clasped hands tightly together. “He hasn’t said anything to me, but I can feel that he’s packed away some of his thoughts and feelings deep inside himself. Someplace so hidden that even you or I can see it.”

“And because he bottles up all those feelings, it surges to the surface,” Riku concluded, feeling his heart slowly sinking into his stomach.

“As darkness,” Kairi finished.

Riku was dismayed by this revelation. Sora’s always wore his heart on his sleeve, it had always been super easy to tell what he was feeling just by looking at him. He was earnest to a fault and was kindness itself; it was hard to imagine Sora as anything else but that. But maybe these assumptions were part of the problem. Everyone always had a certain expectation for Sora, even he, even Kairi. He always felt that Sora would never give into the darkness, that he would always find the light of hope no matter what.

Did they push him into a stereotype he felt forced to play?

A memory resurfaced from not too long ago. They had been stranded on a dark beach with no discernable hope of escape. Sora was standing at the shoreline, looking out into the dark ocean.

At the time, Riku had been trying to tough out an injury from their fight with Xemnas and the subsequent Dusks. He had been too focused on trying not to be a burden that he hadn’t given much thought to what Sora had said.

‘You know… ’ the muffled memory echoed. ‘ Maybe the darkness has gotten to me, too.’

With hindsight, Riku was really regretting having not said something back. 

“We need to talk to him,” he said urgently. He pulled himself to his feet urgently. “Keeping all that darkness inside isn’t healthy. I should know.”

Kairi, however, didn’t move. Instead she just looked at her hands. “He won’t admit it.”

He was baffled by Kairi’s reply. “Why not? He knows we’re here for him, and we’ll do anything to help him work through this. Whatever Sora needs.” 

She just looked sad. “Maybe that’s why he doesn’t.” 

Riku wanted to protest, but the words died on his tongue. Once upon a time, he too had thought just like that. He had felt like he couldn’t confide in anyone and that persistent lingering fear made it hard to even try . Sora might not be dealing with the same problems he was, but it was clear that Sora was suffering from that same reluctance. It was a hard habit to break and even harder to be open about it. 

How hadn’t he noticed Sora building those same walls around his heart that he once did? Ironic for the guy who always reminded him that he was not alone and that he had friends to depend on. Since when have they swapped places?

“I think we should take Sora home to the islands,” Riku said, unable to think of anything else. “Home should be good for him. And, you could spend some time with him. It might make him feel better.”

Kairi gave him a look. “We both can.”

Riku shook his head, chuckling a little. “I need some time to myself anyway. Also, you and I both know that Sora likes his alone time with you.” Kairi’s cheeks went slightly pink. “Besides, I’m not sure he’s comfortable with me right now.”

“That’s not true, he’s just…” Kairi trailed off. “He’s really stressed and scared, but he won’t show or say it. And when you found out what he’s really feeling, I think he was afraid.”

“I didn’t mean to see him like that.” Riku sat down again, rubbing his head.  “And I’d be some friend if I judged Sora for using darkness after what I’ve done.”

“You’ve grown up a lot, Riku,” Kairi assured him with a small smile. “And it isn’t your fault. In a way, I’m glad you saw that part of him. Sora would have never told us otherwise.”

“That’s true,” lamented Riku. “It doesn’t make it feel any better though.”

“Yeah…” Kairi squeezed her hands together. But then she turned to him with a determined expression. “I do think we should take Sora home. We’ll all hang out together and get him to relax a bit. There’s something I want to do with him too.”

Riku couldn’t help but smirk and Kairi just avoided his gaze with a pleased smile. It wasn’t too hard to guess what she wanted to do and he was glad that they were finally getting their foot out the door. He was happy for his friends, but it was really hard to truly be at peace, not with their upcoming big fight and knowing that Sora had a darker part of himself that he was trying to keep from them.

“What about…?” he asked. Part of him felt like they should just air it out all now, just in case, but part of him felt bad because this timing was awful. If only they had just a little more time…

Kairi thought for a moment, then shook her head.  “Sora’s already under a lot of pressure, I don’t want to pile onto it even more. But, if he brings it up, I’ll talk to him about it, but not then…”

“We’ll confront him later?”

Kairi hesitated, but she nodded. “I’d really like for him to come to us on his own, and it’ll be great if he does, but I don’t think he will. I really don’t want to put him on the spot… but we’ll have to if he doesn’t. I don’t want Sora to feel like he has to hide a part of him away from us. No matter how much light, or darkness, he has in his heart, it's all important, because it’s all a part of him.”

“Yeah,” Riku agreed wholeheartedly. “We’ll set this right. I promise."

Chapter Text

“Hey, Riku… have you ever thought about what happens after we die?” 

Riku nearly dropped the logs he was carrying. He spun around to look at his friend, brows furrowed in confusion. “What the- why the sudden thought?”

Sora chuckled, laying back lazily, neglecting his work on the raft once again. “Heh, no reason.”

“It’s not like you to be so existential,” Riku replied, turning to stacking the logs in a pile so he could work on them later. Figures the other two saddled him with all the work again. “And to answer your question, no. There’s no point in thinking about things like that.”

“You think so?” Sora sat up again, looking at him earnestly. He paused for a long moment. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately.”

Riku turned to look at his friend, one eyebrow raised. “Oh, yeah?”

Sora nodded, looking out into the ocean. “I keep thinking, the sky and sea feels like it goes on forever. Our heart’s bound to go somewhere after death, right?”

Riku thought for a moment, back in his mind noting how weird this conversation was, before just shrugging. “You’re thinking too much.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Sora replied with a light laugh.

“Now stop goofing off, or I’ll tell Kairi you’re lazing around again.” 

But when he didn’t get a reply, Riku paused. A weird sense of deja vu overcame him. Something wasn’t right. Hasn’t this… Hasn’t this all happened already? He stood up, turning to look at his friend, but saw that Sora was no longer lazing around on the unfinished raft, but was now standing at the shoreline, his back to him. He was older now, the age reflected in his different clothes.

“Sora?” Riku called out, growing uneasy.

“How far do you think the raft will take us?” Sora asked, still looking out into the waters.

Riku stared at his friend’s back, unable to understand why this felt so strange. “Beats me,” he eventually replied, because it was right. Eventually the uneasiness grew too much to bear. “Hey, you feeling alright?”

Everything around them seemed to… change. That’s right, they were older now. They had never sailed on that silly little raft. They defeated Xemnas, even Xehanort. But then, what were they doing here? A small, tiny voice in the back of his voice told him that this wasn’t real, but he was too drawn into what was happening.

Sora slowly tilted his head to the sky. Then when he turned to Riku, a dark image flashed. Darkness was wafting off his form in angry waves, glowing red eyes so sharp it pierced right through his very being. But when he blinked, he just saw Sora standing there with a smile on his face. After a silent moment, Sora turned around and began walking into the growing, turbulent water.

“Sora!” he called out in a panic, rushing towards him.

It felt like he was in slow motion as he reached out to grab his friend, but in just a single second, Sora’s form collapsed into his reflection, which was then quickly swallowed up by the turbulent waves.

And disappeared.

Riku stared at the spot in the water where Sora disappeared, in total shock. Somewhere in the ocean beyond, he heard another friend crying out from her grief as the water raged. Then suddenly a dark void opened up beneath his feet and he began to sink into the ground. Terror gripped his heart as he watched the world whirl around him. Terrified, he brought his arms to shield himself as it all closed in.

But then, a flash of light. 

When Riku slowly opened his eyes to see what was going on, there was a dark void around him and he saw beady yellow eyes staring out to him from the dark. But they didn’t belong to a Heartless. There was a squeak and something blue  bounced out of the shadows, scampering excitedly towards him. As it did, the scenery melted into the bright sunny scenery of Destiny Islands again.

“A Dream Eater?” he said in surprise as the Meow Wow leapt into the air, paws out ready to pounce on him.

The Meow Wow whined eagerly, slamming its round head into Riku’s waist, knocking him to the ground, its stubby tail wagging so hard it was actually starting to float a little. As Riku laid back into the soft warm sand, groaning from the impact, it reached up and licked at Riku’s mouth happily.

Riku couldn’t help but laugh, feeling his terror almost immediately ebbing away. “Where did you come from?” He paused, thinking about this situation a little. “Wait, am I dreaming?” 

It felt so real. Now he understood why Sora had fallen for his dreams during his Mark of Mastery. Having nightmares play with your most painful memories was extremely hard to shake off.

The Dream Eater didn’t answer, instead opting to rub its face on Riku’s hand again, asking for more pets.

He smiled and obliged, scratching its round chin as it continued to lick his hand. But then he realized… this wasn’t one of his Dream Eaters, but it was familiar. That’s when he realized, “You’re Sora’s Meow Wow.”

The name made it bounce up excitedly. It barked happily, tail spinning so hard it was floating again.

Riku thought for a moment. “Did Sora ask you to take care of my dreams?”

The Meow Wow barked, as if to say ‘Yup!’, spinning around excitedly in a circle, finally allowing Riku to stand up again.

“Of course,” Riku said softly. Sora would do that kind of thing. 

As he watched the Meow Wow eagerly waiting by his side for a command, Riku wondered if it understood that Sora was no longer around. Had it been patiently waiting for him this whole time not knowing Sora could never visit? The thought hurt so much, Riku didn’t want to think too much about it.

He spent a few more moments playing with the Meow Wow before he was overcome with a distinct feeling that he needed to return to the waking world soon. As comforting as it was to rest in the nostalgic scenery, he's been here a bit too long.

“I’ve got to wake up,” he told the Dream Eater.

Its ears wilted and it reached up its soft paws onto his waist, eyes pleading as if to beg him not to go. Riku felt awful, he didn’t want to leave it behind. It would be awesome if he could take Dream Eaters out into the real world, but they could only be summoned in short bursts. At least Riku knew, once he left, it would return to the Realm of Sleep and return to its friends. It wouldn’t be alone.

Not like Sora is right now. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back to visit,” he promised. Since Sora was no longer around, he’d ought to pick up the slack and make sure they were all doing okay. Maybe he should go ask Ven's Chirithy if there was a way to bring them over permanently, he could use the companionship.

The promise seemed to make the Meow Wow feel better and it bounced around happily, seemingly already excited for his next return. He petted the cute thing one more time before he closed his eyes and bought himself out of sleep.

-~*~-

Riku slowly blinked open his eyes, yawning a little as his eyes adjusted to the morning light filtering in through his window. He scratched a slight itch on his neck as he sat up, pushing the covers off him. His other hand automatically went to his Gummiphone, which had been in its charging port on his nightstand and blearily, he began checking his messages. It was a little weird to think that just a few years ago, he had no idea what a smartphone was, now he had gotten so acclimated to it that he wasn't sure how to live without it.

There was a daily good morning from Mickey and Naminé, as usual, which he replied back the same. The group chat looks like it has been busy, though he was a little too weary to catch up with everything there. It looked like everyone was just casually talking so he wasn’t terribly interested anyway. Riku was going to shut off his phone when he caught a glance at Sora's profile, which had been inactive since he disappeared. His last message was still there.

‘Okay, Riku! See you later!!’ Sent almost a year ago.

He put his phone aside, the memories of the dream slowly resurfacing as the drowsiness faded away. That darkness…

“Sora…” he asked, knowing there would be no reply. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

He’s been dreaming about his lost friend a lot. Sometimes they would just be simple dreams where they would be hanging out, other times, it would be a desperate nightmare as he searched for him. Riku supposed that it’s because that’s all his life had turned into. It was something a little familiar, he had done the same thing when Sora had fallen into sleep and couldn’t wake up. But at least that time, he could visit Sora anytime he wanted. Now? He didn’t even know if he was okay.

“You’ve got to be,” Riku assured himself. “Hang on, just a little while longer. I will make this right.”

With a renewed sense of determination, he began to get himself ready for the day. After washing up and changing into his usual outfit, he walked out into the main room.

“Mornin', sleepyhead!” Yuffie popped out of seemingly nowhere. She grinned at him. “Sleep in today?”

Riku was confused before he realized that he had woken up an hour later than he usually did. Strange, he was normally a morning person. He must've spent too much time playing with Sora's Meow Wow. “I guess I just needed the extra sleep.”

“I think you need a little more.” Yuffie placed her hands on her hips, eyes scrutinizing him. “You look terrible.”

He was a little shocked to hear that. Riku wasn’t really the type to preen over his appearance too long, but did he really look that bad?

“Yuffie!” A voice scolded her. They both turned to see Aerith placing what looked like baked goods on the table. She glared at her friend, but gave Riku a kind smile. “Good morning, Riku. How are you feeling?”

Fragments of his dream flashed in his mind. His heart ached a little. “A little tired I guess.” He paused. Sora wouldn’t want him to keep his feelings to himself. So even though it felt a little weird sharing it, he said, “I had a nightmare.”

Aerith frowned. “Again?”

“Yeah.” That’s right, he’d been having a lot of them actually. Strange, because he’s never really had them before and never this vivid. 

“Whassit about this time?” Yuffie asked, concerned.

“I was with Sora, we were kids again…” He sighed, closing his eyes. “We were building that stupid raft and…” He trailed off. 

That dark form he saw Sora have.... It looked just like the Heartless form he had seen Sora use. A clue?

“Hello? Earth to Riku!” He blinked and Yuffie was waving a hand in front of his face. “Maybe you do need more sleep after all.”

Riku shook his head. “No, I’m fine.” He wasn’t sure how true that was, but he didn’t think he’d be able to sleep anymore.

Aerith and Yuffie didn’t seem convinced, but they didn’t push it. “Have some breakfast then,” Aerith said, gesturing to the table. It was filled with fresh bread, eggs, bacon, and more. “You’ve got a big day ahead of you, right?”

“Sure,” Riku agreed. “Thanks.”

Breakfast was a pleasant occurrence, as always. 

He let Aerith and Yuffie idly chat about things while he listened and ate some oatmeal. They talked about Leon’s continued efforts to restore their world and about the cute kitten the kid down the street had just adopted. Mundane things that put Riku’s heart at ease. Enough stimulation to busy his brain, but not overwhelming. It’s part of the reason why he decided to live in Radiant Garden for the moment instead of anywhere else.

Initially, he had stayed in Disney Castle for a while, just to be closer to Mickey, but living there was a bit too lavish for his tastes. He had been pampered, waited hand and foot; it was so awkward, whether or not he accepted the help. After that he had considered Twilight Town, but he felt like an unwelcome guest to the people already there. And while he respected Yen Sid, he’s had enough of living there for the time being. He could have returned home to Destiny Islands, but… it wouldn’t be right when his two friends couldn’t.

After breakfast, he and Yuffie left their shared house to head to Merlin’s house. When they arrived, they found Cid passed out at the computer.

“Not again,” Yuffie sighed. She grasped the older man’s sleeping arm and began hauling him to the bed in the corner. “There’s a bed right there, y’know.”

Letting Yuffie deal with Cid, Riku approached the computer to check in on the progress. He still had a lot to learn about computers, but he had learned enough during his stay here to be able to check the simulation’s progress.

On the screen he could see Sora fighting against what looked like Young Xehanort. Every so often the simulation would stop as the computer struggled to simulate and render what was happening on the screen. He watched this Data-Sora get violently struck and he winced. Riku wished he could hop in and help, but the data could only parse itself. He could do nothing but watch.

“Well that was an adventure and a half.” Yuffie sighed, returning to his side. She looked at the computer. “Still stuck on time-stop guy, huh?” She stretched, groaning. “Looks like it’s gonna be a while.”

Riku watched the screen for a few more moments before deciding that it was enough. Staring at it wasn't going to make it go any faster. 

“I'm going to check in on Kairi,” he told Yuffie.

“Okay, say hi to her for me, will ya?” She gave him a thumbs up. Although her optimism is nothing like Sora's brand, it was still nice to have someone cheerful to anchor off of.

He nodded before turning on his heel and exiting the room.

After almost a year now, Riku had memorized the walk from Merlin’s home to the castle where Ansem’s lab was. It was a route he took almost everyday if he wasn’t off-world, and it was a familiarity that gave him a sense of peace in this new normal. The defense system meant that he didn’t even have to be on guard for any stray Heartless. It also helped that Heartless didn’t really like coming out during the day, preferring to scuttle in the shadowed outskirts beyond.

When he arrived at the door, Aeleus and Dilan were diligently guarding the entrance. They acknowledged him with silent nods and allowed him through. He had been here enough that they knew he didn’t need to be escorted. 

And finally, he came to the main computer chamber, where Kairi was sleeping peacefully on the chair in the center. 

Riku smiled when he saw her, even if he was a little sad to see she wasn’t awake. It was good to see her still.

On the other side of a room, a tired man turned to look at him. It looked like it was Even's turn on night duty today;they always had someone watching over Kairi 24/7 to make sure nothing goes wrong.

“Ah Riku,” Even greeted, turning to look at the monitor he was working on again. How did he look more lively as a Nobody? “Punctual as usual. Kairi is doing well: all vitals are green. Nothing for you to worry about.”

Riku nodded. He had asked this question so many times the researchers have taken to giving him a rundown unprompted every time he arrived. He brought up one of the free chairs and brought it next to his sleeping friend, crossed his arms and… waited. He often lost entire days like this, waiting by Kairi’s side, hoping that she would wake up with some sort of way forward. But no such day ever happened, at least not yet.

He felt the scholar's eyes glancing over at him, before he was startled by Even's sudden appearance beside him.

“I will be clocking out for today,” he told him clinically. “I trust you will be able to watch Kairi for the short moment before Ienzo arrives for his shift.”

“Er, of course,” he answered. Although he was grateful for Even’s help, he was glad that Ienzo was coming to replace him. The younger researcher had always been much easier to talk to. 

“Excellent,” Even stated simply before taking a datapad and walking out of the room, leaving him alone with his friend.

He got the distinct feeling that Even had left to give him some time alone with Kairi and he was grateful, even if he really didn't mind whether or not someone else was in the room or not. When it was a little too quiet, it felt like he was in that sterile chamber in the Twilight Town Mansion, brooding in his own guilt for the fate of his best friend. He supposed, this wasn’t all too different.

“Hey Kairi,” he greeted her. “It’s good to see you’re doing okay today. Oh, and Yuffie said hi.” He felt a deep sadness when he got no reply. “I had another dream about Sora. This time, we were building that silly raft, but Sora disappeared into the water.” He shuddered at the imagery. “I saw his Heartless form again, just for a second.”

Kairi slept on.

“We never had a chance to talk with Sora about it, did we?” he mused guiltily. “If I had known it was our only chance I would have…” Riku let out a harsh, pained sigh. No one could've seen what was going to happen. “But I won't give up. I'll make this right, I promise.”

No reply.

“I have a feeling that Sora must be trying to tell me something,” Riku theorized, trying to keep himself motivated despite his gnawing loneliness. “If you can find answers in your dream, can’t I?”

He wished she was awake.

“Greetings Riku.” He looked over his shoulder to see Ienzo walking into the room holding a cup of what smelled like coffee. “I expected you here.”

He stood up, feeling a little restless, giving the man a weary smile. “As I was today, and the day before, and even before that.”

“‘Loyalty is a decision, the resolution of the soul’,” Ienzo quoted encouragingly. “I may have some good news for you,” he said, placing down his mug. “I had a look at the data Even collected from last night, and I’m happy to inform you that Kairi is nearing the end of her dream sequence.”

Riku immediately perked up. “Really?”

“Although I cannot ascertain when exactly when she will awaken, I strongly believe that it will be happening soon,” Ienzo replied. “And when she does, I’m sure she’ll have some interesting things to tell us.”

“That’s… That’s great news.” Riku couldn’t stop his smile.

“Indeed!” Ienzo said cheerfully.

Spurred on by Kairi’s own hard work in her dreams, Riku felt compelled to do something himself. “I better get to work too.’

“You have a new lead?” the researcher implored  with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Uhm…maybe.” He had been so excited by the good news, Riku realized he hadn’t actually thought about how he was going to follow up on his lead. ? “I’ve been having my own dreams and I can’t help feeling that they’re trying to tell me something,” he told Ienzo, hoping he had some idea of how to proceed. “And in them… I’ve been seeing Sora in a… dark form.”

Ienzo held his chin in thought. “I see. This wouldn’t have to do with the ‘Rage Form’ Donald and Goofy saw Sora use in the final battle against Xehanort would it?”

Riku’s eyes lit up. That’s right, he had completely forgotten. “It could be.”

“Fortunately, we have already researched this subject to supplement our study on Kairi's heart. But unfortunately, despite the extensive data we have on Sora's heart, we were unable to identify exactly why this happens,” Ienzo told him with a frown. “And because Sora isn’t here, we’re unable to run any additional tests to understand how someone could even have a ‘Heartless form’.”

Riku clenched his fists, feeling guilty that he hadn’t brought this up sooner. As far as he knew, he and Kairi hadn’t really brought it up to anyone else. If they had, would they have a better idea of how to follow this lead?

“Actually…” Riku said after a moment of silence, feeling guilty. He hoped Sora, and Kairi, would forgive him for spilling the beans. “That’s not the first time he’s used it.”

“Really?” Ienzo was surprised, but curious. He quickly brought up a notepad to take notes.

Riku nodded. “When I was gathering Synthesis Materials with Sora before the final battle, I was in trouble, Sora transformed to protect me. We wanted to talk about it with him after the war but…” He didn’t need to finish his sentence.

“Fascinating…” Ienzo wrote something down on his pad. Part of Riku had expected him to be mad (maybe that’s just what Riku felt he deserved), but Ienzo seemed more interested in the new research data than he was of Riku hiding it. “This confirms the hypothesis that the form is tied to Sora's most deep and personal emotions.” He was deep in thought again, muttering quietly to himself, before he struck up a finger in a ‘eureka!’. “I may have an idea!”

“You do?” Riku looked at the scholar hopefully.

“It’s a shot in the dark, but it’s a way forward nonetheless,” answered Ienzo, placing his clipboard aside for the moment. “As you know, there were three people occupying Sora’s heart: Ventus, Roxas, and Xion. Due to the unique situation she was in, I don’t believe Xion was aware enough to divulge any information about Sora’s dark form, but Roxas or Ventus may know more.”

“But Ven is in the Realm of Darkness,” Riku lamented. He, Aqua, and Terra were looking for Sora there. While he could call them, Riku didn’t want to bother them while they were in a place so dangerous.

Ienzo nodded. “But Roxas should be in Twilight Town. Last I heard, he and the others are researching their own memories for clues about Sora. I’m certain they would be willing to compare notes with you.”

While Riku was excited to finally have a lead to follow, he was a little uneasy thinking about having to interact with the people in Twilight Town. He didn’t exactly fit in, so to speak. It wasn’t that he disliked the place, he always found it to be a peaceful and idyllic world. But he had hurt a lot of people there, most notably, Roxas, the person he wanted to talk to about this. 

Roxas had remained cordial anytime they met up, but Riku could tell that he only tolerated his existence and would prefer it if he wasn’t there.

But this was about Sora, his Somebody. Maybe Roxas would be more willing to talk?

“I guess I’ll be going to Twilight Town” he said despite his worries about the visit. He can’t chicken out now. Sora was counting on him.

Ienzo nodded approvingly. “Safe travels then. I’ll look into Sora's Rage Form from my end to see if I can glean anything new with what you just told me. And of course, I'll be sure to inform you if Kairi’s condition changes.”

“Thanks for all the help, Ienzo,” he thanked the scholar.

“You're most welcome!” He replied cheerfully. “I hope you do turn up something. If not, feel free to return here and perhaps we can brainstorm a new path forward.” 

Riku nodded before turning to the sleeping Kairi. “I'll see you tomorrow,” he promised her.

-~*~-

Riku walked down the steps of Twilight Town’s station, having parked his Gummiship at the Mysterious Tower before taking the train into town. It was one of the more inconspicuous ways of getting into the world and Riku preferred it that way than flashily porting himself to the ground.

He stepped around a  gaggle of kids who were currently running off somewhere and he was filled with a sense of loneliness. For a moment, he felt himself brought back to the days on the island, where things had seemed so simple. 

Feeling depressed, Riku quickly shook his head and refocused his mind on the present. He walked to the brick railing and out into town. Roxas and the others had been doing a good job of keeping the world safe. He sensed not a single Heartless nearby. The people here could rest easy.

“Riku?” 

Surprised to hear his name, he turned to Hayner and Pence. They rushed over to meet him, stopping just short of barreling into him.

“Nice to see you guys again,” Riku greeted them.

“What are you doing in Twilight Town?” Hayner asked him.

Before he could answer, Pence spoke up. “Wait, if you’re here, does that mean you have some news on Sora?” Hearing this Hayner turned to him, clearly expecting the good news.

Riku felt bad that he had nothing to tell them. “Sorry, nothing new unfortunately,” he told them.”

Hayner let out a long sigh. “Should’ve figured…” He grumbled.

Part of Riku’s heart twisted in grief when he saw Hayner’s reaction. It’s been so long that people were starting to expect bad or no news. “But I’ve gotten a new lead I’m following,” Riku offered, hoping it would make them feel a bit better. He hadn’t meant to lead them on with his presence.

Like a spring, Hayner immediately bounced back. “You do ? Well then, out with it! Say the word, and we’ll help!”

He smiled a little, just happy to see them so eager to help. Riku hoped that Sora knew that they were looking for him, wherever he was. “Well, it’s not really something you can help with directly, but could you tell me where Roxas is?”

“Roxas?” Pence thought for a moment. “I think he’s at the Mansion. He's studying his memories with Naminé and Isa.”

“I’ll go get him for you!” Hayner volunteered eagerly. And before anyone could say anything, he was already off, leaving him and Pence behind. 

Riku watched him go, feeling a little awkward. He would’ve been completely happy to look for Roxas himself, but Hayner was way too eager to help.

“And there he goes,” Pence chuckled a little. “Well then, Riku, we can wait for them at the bistro. Better than waiting here.”

“Sounds good,” he responded.

Along the way, Pence told him a bit about what everyone was doing in Twilight Town. Apparently Roxas and Xion had attempted to attend school with them the other day and while Xion had found it enlightening and returned the next day, Roxas had gotten so bored, he had yet to return. Hearing this made Riku laugh; he had a feeling that it was partly Sora’s fault. Sora had never been enthused to attend school. On other news, Lea had begun working at the bistro and has become quite the cook with Little Chef’s guidance. Isa and Naminé on the other hand dedicated their full time to finding a way to bring Sora home.

“And of course, we’re also still doing all we can to help find Sora,” Pence told him as they approached the bistro. “We always make sure to spare an hour each day between school and part-time to find clues about Sora.”

“You don’t have to go that far,” Riku told them. “Work and school are important.” Not everyone led crazy Keyblade-filled lives.

“Not as important as a friend,” another voice answered. They looked up to see Olette wearing a waiter’s outfit. “Hi, Riku. What are you doing here?”

“He’s following a lead on Sora,” Pence answered. “He needs to talk to Roxas.”

Her eyes brightened up. “Really? What’s it about?”

“Uhm…” While he had divulged the whole thing to Ienzo, he wasn’t sure if he was at a point yet to be telling everyone else. And if Roxas really did know about it, he’s certain he wouldn't appreciate him going around and telling everyone about it. He was pretty particular about divulging any of Sora's thoughts.

Thankfully he didn’t need to come up with an excuse because there was a rush of footsteps.

“Hey! We’re back!” Hayner came to a stop beside them. A moment later, Roxas and Xion came to a stop behind him. “And I brought Roxas!”

“I just tagged along,” Xion added with a gentle smile. Riku’s heart ached a little to hear Kairi’s voice after so long, even though he knew it wasn’t hers. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” Riku replied, but he felt even more out of place than he was before. 

There was a level of distrust in Roxas’ eyes when Riku looked at him and he inwardly winced. He knew that he and Roxas didn’t have the best friendship. He had been so enraptured with trying to make up for his past mistakes, he had been willing to do anything to help Sora wake up. And that desire had inflicted Roxas a lot of grief and pain in the process.

And it seemed like Roxas hadn’t quite forgiven him yet.

“Hey,” Roxas greeted him. Not quite friendly, but not rude either. “You have something to ask? About Sora?” He seemed open to talking with him about this at least.

Riku nodded. But he glanced at the pressing eyes of everyone around him. “I think it’s best to talk about it in… private?”

Hayner looked disappointed. “Why can’t you talk about it with all of us?”

“It’s pretty private.” Riku glanced at Roxas, hoping he would get the hint.

He noticed Roxas exchanging glances with Xion. Thankfully Roxas picked up his hint. “I’ll tell you guys about it later.” He looked at Riku and gestured in a direction. ”We can talk at the hideout.”

The room Roxas took him to was more of a glorified section of alley that had been converted into a room. It was furnished with old couches and other second hand stuff. There were board games and even a game system and TV in the corner. Despite the raggedy appearance, it was a little homey. It reminded Riku of the shack on the Play Island, where he, Kairi, and Sora used to use as a hideout. 

He wondered what became of it now. Was it wearing away to time? Or had other kids ransacked it and called it their ‘home’?

Roxas gestured to the old couch to sit on and even though he rather be standing, he took a seat anyway just to get on Roxas’ best side. Roxas took his own seat on an old table nearby.

“So? What do you want to talk about?” asked Roxas. “Hayner said you had news on Sora.”

Riku winced. Why had Hayner said that?  “Not exactly. I just have a hunch and I’d like to talk to you about it.”

Roxas scowled a bit, but he sighed. “Okay then, spit it out.”

“When you were inside Sora’s heart, were you able to sense his darkness?” Riku decided to ask, plain and simple. He was sure Roxas wouldn’t appreciate it if he beat around the bush too much. He already disliked him as much as he did.

At his question, Roxas instantly became suspicious, almost menacing, almost… protective ? “What’s it to you?”

“Before the final battle, Sora and I were on a small mission together,” Riku explained, knowing that Roxas wouldn’t divulge any information if he wasn’t forthcoming. “I was careless, and Sora saved me,” - Roxas looked a little smug - “but he transformed into this… Rage Form. I talked with Ienzo, and he hypothesized it could be related to his personal feelings.”

Roxas didn’t look at all surprised. “Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you want to poke around his feelings. How is knowing that supposed to help Sora at all?”

A fair question. “I just thought maybe, if I knew more about this part of him, it would lead me to some clue to finding him.” Riku didn’t really know how , but he was exhausting lead after lead and this dream was all he had to go off right now. It scared him to think that one day, there might not be anymore to even follow. “Trust me, the last thing I want to do is pry,  but I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t think there might be a clue.”

His words seemed to have given Roxas some pause. He seemed deep in thought and Riku hoped that meant that he would answer his questions.

“So… do you know about his darkness?”

Roxas scoffed. “I wouldn’t be Sora’s Nobody if I didn’t.” 

Before, such words were filled with tragedy and sorrow, but now it sounded as if Roxas meant them as a badge of honor. It made Riku smile a little.

“But,” he continued. “That’s not for me to say, or you to know.”

“What?” Riku was a little shocked. He thought Roxas was finally opening up to him.

“Don’t take it so personally.” Roxas rolled his eyes. “I meant it as is. That’s Sora’s stuff to tell. If you really wanna know, ask him.”

“I can’t ask him, that’s why I’m asking you ,” he countered. It hurt him to remember that it's been almost a year now that Sora was gone.

Roxas hesitated, clearly also affected by the reminder that Sora was no longer around, but shook his head. “Not without Sora here,” he finally said. “I won’t say anything he doesn’t want you to know.”

Hearing that both saddened and scared him. He knew Sora was hiding some of his true feelings from him, but to hear Roxas basically confirm that was devastating. Riku looked down at his hands, wondering if following this lead really was a good idea after all. But what other choice did he have? Everyone was doing all they could to find Sora and guide him home. From Mickey to Aqua to Leon to Kairi, even Roxas and his friends had some lead they were following. He was sure Sora was doing all he can to find his way home too.

What was he doing?

Suddenly, Roxas let out a frustrated sigh. Surprised, Riku looked up to see he was running a hand roughly through his hair. “Ugh, when you make that face, I can’t help but feel sorry for you.” Then he looked directly into his eyes. “I won’t tell you Sora’s personal thoughts. It wouldn’t be right. But I can tell you some of my thoughts on how he feels.”

Riku was still a little stunned, but he gave him a grateful look. “I’ll take anything you can tell me.”

Roxas shrugged, avoiding his gaze. Then he crossed his arms. “You’ve probably noticed this, but Sora’s not as happy as you think he is. I think he'd feel better if he was more honest.” Roxas glanced at him. “But if he was, he might make people sad so he doesn't.”

He wasn't surprised to hear that, but it was still sad to hear it confirmed.

Riku flinched a little when he saw Roxas staring at him with his sharp blue eyes. Sora sometimes had that look on his face, when he was displeased or angry but trying to keep it in.

“You're so lucky the Keyblade chose you.”

He frowned. “What do you mean?”

Roxas’ expression just tightened before turning away. “You're smart, figure it out.”

Riku was silent, taking in what Roxas just told him. What did he mean by that? The tone Roxas used sounded angry, but if that was about Sora then…

An image appeared of his mind, the despair of someone who had his Keyblade taken from him. Someone who was never meant to wield a Keyblade.

“How long has he felt this way?” Riku asked quietly.

It was Roxas’ turn to be silent.  But then, he answered, “Ever since I was born.” While the shock of that statement settled in, Roxas hopped onto his feet. “I’ve said enough.”

Roxas started to leave, but then he stopped in his tracks right as he was about to exit. He stood there for a moment, but then he glanced over his shoulder. “Y’know, you’re a sorry sight. Take better care of yourself. If Sora saw you now, he'd be sad.” Was that supposed to be… kindness? Was Roxas actually sympathizing with him?

And without another word, Roxas left, leaving Riku to digest all that he had learned.

Roxas had been born the moment Sora had destroyed his own heart back in Hollow Bastion. Even if his darkness had only manifested as a simple Shadow at a time, it meant his darkness had been building up since then. 

And Riku hadn't noticed it at all. 

Now Sora was somewhere unknown, far away from everyone and everything he knew. The best environment to cultivate a growing darkness. He was suddenly very afraid for his lost friend.

“Hey, everythin’ alright in here?” Riku was finally stepped out of his daze to see Lea was looking in,

“Lea?” He blinked, confused to see him. 

“I go more by Axel nowadays,” he replied. Riku wished he would just pick a preferred name and stick with it. Though at least this time, he knew why he had returned back to using his Nobody’s name.

“What are you doing here?” Riku continued.

Axel took this as an invitation to come into the room too. “Well, when I just finished my shift I saw Roxas stomping off looking like someone stepped on his ice cream. I heard from the kids that you were in town, I figured something must have happened.”

“Then why are you here?” Riku questioned, the words sounding a little rougher than he meant to. He was just tense. “Shouldn’t you be with him?”

“Oh, I left Xion with him,” Axel replied, gesturing somewhere behind him. “She’s way better at calming him down than I am.” He paused, then looked at him. “But never mind him for now. What happened?”

“It’s not for me to say,” Riku replied, echoing Roxas’ words. 

Axel sat down next to him. “Listen, you don’t need to tell me anything. But I’m here if you wanna talk.” 

Riku wondered what he was even supposed to say. Even if he could understand all he was feeling, his heart felt hollow and ached. He looked down at his hands, his thoughts became distant.

He wanted to go home, but the people who made it home weren' there.

“Y’know, I know exactly how it feels to be the only one left,” Axel spoke after a long moment. “I was desperate to bring my friends back, but I realized… I couldn’t do that if I wasn’t in shape too.” He sighed. “Listen, I'm no good with words, but what I'm saying is that it's okay to have a break once in a while. And if you need to talk out your feelings, there’s plenty of ears to go around, mine included.”

He felt strangely touched by Axel’s words. Riku supposed he’d been working too hard lately. There just was an empty hole where his friends once stood. He didn’t blame Kairi for doing all she can to find any clues to Sora, he would have done the same had it been his heart Ansem and the others needed to study. And while he had other friends, it just wasn’t the same. 

Riku just wanted to go home, but not just by himself, with his two friends again.

“Thanks,” he finally said, giving Axel a small smile. “I guess… I’ve just been feeling pretty lonely.” 

Axel gave him a sympathetic look. “Hey, how about you spend the night in Twilight Town? You, me, and Isa can have dinner at the bistro, they have an after-hours menu. And I have an employee discount.”

“What about Roxas and Xion?”

The red-haired man chuckled. “We can let the kids have their weekend night. It can be just us grown-ups.”

It hadn’t even occurred to Riku that it was a weekend. It had been too long since that sort of thing even mattered. “You know I’m not that much older than them right?” Biologically at least.

“Look at you, you’re practically a grown up, Mister Keyblade Master,” Axel countered back. “So, whaddya say?”

Riku wanted to decline, he wanted to continue his search for Sora in any way he could. He owed to his friends, the one lost and the one who slumbers. But an old memory resurfaced. They were wading through a stinky swamp, Sora was looking back at him with mock disappointment.

‘Man, Riku, ’ the memory laughed. ‘Lighten up a little! ’ 

He smiled fondly to himself.

“Okay then,” Riku conceded, standing up and walking out the entrance. “As long as it’s your treat.”

Axel looked flabbergasted. “Hey! How much do you think I make at a 9-5?”

Chapter Text

“Sora!” He exclaimed in relief. Riku found him, he actually found him. 

Riku just couldn't believe his eyes. He's not the type of person who really cries, but seeing Sora again, after so long… He was actually tearing up a little. The pain and struggle, it all was worth it. Now he could take Sora home.

Sora looked different than how he remembered him, but Quadratum tended to change people in strange ways. He had hardly recognized Kairi when she came here. There had been no choice at the time, but Riku wished they hadn't split ways. She would have been elated to see Sora too.

But despite his eagerness to meet his friend again, Sora didn't turn to face him. He kept his gaze fixed to the ground ahead of him.

Confused, Riku reached up to touch his shoulder. “...Sora?”

And when Sora finally turned his head to meet his eyes, his hand recoiled like it had touched an open flame. His relief and joy had quickly turned into horror and confusion.

“Riku,” he said fondly with a smile, his eyes glinting a different color. “It’s good to see you again.”

At first, Riku thought he was just seeing things, but no matter how much he blinked, Sora’s eyes continued to glow that crimson gold. And he knew enough about darkness to understand how that came to be.

“...Sora?” he asked. “What happened to your…”

Sora stared at him and he laughed, the way he always did. Except this time it was anything but funny. “You've always been the smarter one, Riku. I know you can figure it out.” He just sounded so friendly, just like the friend he's always had… which is why it hurt so much when Riku realized he couldn't - he shouldn't trust him. 

“You… you gave into the darkness?” Riku just couldn’t believe it. Rage form, his dream… it couldn't be true, could it?

Sora blinked. “I didn't give into anything. I'm still me.”

Riku hated that he just couldn't believe that.

His friend was staring at him with those sharp eyes. Then he sighed, a sad smile on his lips. “You were always the responsible one.” His expression turned serious. “But you shouldn't be here.”

Riku balked. “ You shouldn’t be here,” he countered. “Sora, I’ve found a way back; back to our reality.” Riku was exasperated, desperate for all this to be an elaborate prank. “Let's go home.” Despite the logical part of his brain admonishing him, he reached a hand to his friend, willing Sora to take it.

There was a placid look of regret on Sora's face, a distant look in his eyes. He didn't take his hand. And as the silence between them grew longer and longer, so did Riku's hope that his friend would agree.

“Why not?” Riku was getting angry. He just couldn't understand. “Sora, what's wrong with you?”

“A lot of things, Riku,” Sora responded, sounding the most broken he's ever been and Riku immediately regretted his word choice. “That's why I had to become what I am now.”

“I didn't mean it that way, you know I don't,” Riku replied softly. “You know, you can tell me anything, right? I can help, you can trust me.” Even though he couldn't trust him . 

Sora hung his head, closing his eyes like be was in pain. Maybe he actually was. “There’s nothing you can do, Riku.” He looked down at his hands. “There isn't even anything anyone can do.”

“Just tell me about it,” he urged desperately. “We can do this together. All three of us.” At this Sora looked up at him, surprised. For the first time re-meeting, he almost appeared hopeful. “Kairi's on her way here, we'll figure something out.” He reached out his hand again to him. “We'll make this right, I promise.”

Suddenly, Sora summoned his Keyblade, his weapon, and pointed it right at him. Riku froze in place as the teeth of the blade grazed his neck, letting out a tension-filled, shuddering breath. He searched his friend’s face for some sort of explanation, but there was none. Sora’s hand was firm and steady, his face did not waver. Like statues, they stood frozen in that position, staring deeply into the other’s eyes.

Riku willed himself to talk, to say anything, but his mouth could only part to ask the unspoken question: why ?

Sora’s expression tightened, his eyes glistening as he narrowed them ever so slightly. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Riku.” There was sadness and regret in his tone.

Then Sora's eyes slowly fluttered shut, lips pressing into a thing line. And like an uncanny dream, his form collapsed like it was made of water, splashing into a puddle. Arm still stretched out, Riku jerked forward to grab his friend.

“Sora!” He called out, but he slipped through his fingertips.

Sora was gone. And Riku was alone again.

It took a long time for Riku to start moving from his spot. He shakily ran a hand through his hair, his mind and heart trying to make sense of what just happened. Riku was surprised when he felt something wet running down his cheek. Was he… crying?

Furiously, he rubbed his eyes, fists clenched. He couldn't lose it now, no matter how much it hurts. 

After giving himself that tiny moment to recollect himself, Riku relaxed his pose. It wouldn't do him good to freak out now, he needed to keep a level head.

That's when Riku noticed something on the ground in front of him. That something was half drowned in the puddle where Sora once stood. Curious and confused, Riku knelt down to take a closer look, only to freeze in place when he recognized it.

Kairi's charm.

Riku stared at the discarded wayfinder, shocked that Sora would leave something that important behind. It might just be a trinket, but the charm carried important feelings, a promise. And yet it lay in the cold puddle, lost and forgotten. 

Abandoned.

He quickly, but carefully rescued the charm where it was partially submerged in, dismayed to see it almost crumble in his hands. Riku readjusted his grip, gingerly brushing off the residual water droplets and pulling the loose strings. He fiddled with jr a while, hoping to help it get some of its original form back, but despite his efforts, the charm was pretty much ruined.

 It looked like it had been handled too much, or crushed in someone’s grasp - perhaps both. Even the familiar,  tiny face that had been so carefully added to one of the shells had faded away, barely visible anymore. Riku was heartbroken.

What was he going to tell Kairi?

Desperately, Riku looked all around, hanging on to the small hope that leaving the charm behind was a mistake. Sora would never leave something so important behind, would he? But no matter how much he wanted to believe otherwise, he knew Sora was gone; he had intentionally left this behind.

Riku gazed down at the broken charm, pursing his lips tightly as he tried not to get overwhelmed by his emotions.

“What’s going to happen to us?” Riku asked the charm, knowing it would have no answer. Despite everything he and Kairi had done to get him here, they were even more fragmented than they were before. 

He thought about his friends: Sora, who was walking alone down a dark road and Kairi who was using all she had to keep up. They all stood at an impasse, so far away from each other, from what they used to be.

“You must have left this behind for a reason,” he reasoned out loud, looking up at the sky. “If you didn’t want anyone to follow, you wouldn’t have left this behind.”

Riku had to have hope. Even if he was alone, even if Sora had given up on himself, he had to be strong, for his friends. He'll backtrack and find Kairi, and then they'll find Sora. No matter what it takes.

“One day, we will be together again,” Riku affirmed to himself, gripping the charm close to his heart. “Sora, Kairi, I haven’t forgotten our promise. I will set this right.”

With renewed determination, Riku placed the charm carefully into one of his inner pockets, the weight foreign, but comforting. This charm, it carries the feelings and wishes of both of his dearest friends. 

And he would carry its oath to return.

-~*~-