Archive of Our Own ^beta

Rey’s just putting down the empty bottle of awful wine she stole from Luke’s hut when the feeling washes over her. It’s the same feeling that’s been happening since she showed up on this stupid rock. She wheels around to see his abnormally large body - now fully clothed - standing there inside of her hut.

“You…” she nearly growls.

He turns his gaze to meet her, his brows furrowed at the sudden hostility. “Me…” he repeats, confused. 

“I want to talk to you.” 

She takes a step towards him and stumbles a bit. His arms dart out instinctively but she holds up her hands to wave him off. She doesn’t need his help. She doesn’t need anyone.

“Are you okay?” He’s thrown by her change in demeanor from earlier. There’s an aloofness about her that he hasn’t seen before.

His concern just annoys her more. “M’ fine,” Rey slurs slightly. “Found some mulled wine that Luke had. He wasn’t very good at hiding it. Stronger and worse tasting than I was expecting.”

Wine? 

Kylo gets a better look at her as she steps into the glow of the fire. Her eyelids are nearly half-drawn, there’s a flush to her face and neck, and her hair is down. “Why are you wet?” he bluntly asks. 

“Fell into some water,” is her nonchalant reply, only furthering his confusion. She shivers and grabs a blanket from the makeshift bed to wrap around herself before ungracefully plopping down onto the small chair next to the fire. She can tell he’s waiting for her to elaborate, so she continues, “I went to the cave.” She stares hard into the flames. Her eyes almost gloss over as she remembers her experience. 

He tentatively sits down across from her. From his perspective, it’s a large cozy chair, but to her, he’s not sure where he sits. “What cave?” he quietly asks. 

“Beneath the island. Luke warned me not to, but it kept calling to me, the darkness… I had stayed away from it… until I talked to you.”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion again. 

“I needed to know if it held answers about my past… What I found was a mirror of stone.” She briefly looks up to meet his eyes before gazing intently back down into the fire. “I looked into it and it’s like I was sucked in or something. I saw myself over and over again, all standing in a row. I should’ve felt trapped or panicked, but I didn’t. It didn’t go on forever. I knew it was leading somewhere, and at the end, it would show me what I needed to see.”

Kylo doesn’t interrupt. He simply sits in silence as she tells him her tale of the mirror cave and what she saw. He sits and watches as tears well up in her eyes, making them reflective enough that he can see the reflection of the fire in them.

She subtly shakes her head, the tears threatening to crest over onto her cheeks when she thinks of the crippling disappointment she felt when it was only her reflection staring back at her. “I thought I’d find answers here, but I was wrong… I’ve never felt so alone,” she softly admits.

“You’re not alone,” he finally chokes out.

Rey sucks in a quiet breath, bringing her eyes back up to his. Through the fogginess of the wine, she can feel that he truly means it. That he too has felt like that before. 

“Neither are you,” she replies. The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. But she strangely doesn’t regret saying it. Especially not when she sees his barely perceptible lean forward and the twitch under his left eye as he processes her words.

She looks down at his hands which are stiffly laying on his thighs. She must be possessed or it’s the wine, but there’s nothing more that she wants to do right now than touch his hand. What does the leather of his gloves feel like? She’s only felt the dry, sunburnt leather from Jakku. But his gloves look soft and pliable. She wonders what his large hands would feel like against her own. Would they completely encompass hers? She spends too long thinking about his hands. At least it feels like a long time. 

Then the reality of them being separated by the Force from across the galaxy returns to her and crushes her impulsive craving. 

But maybe if she just… Maybe they’d be able to…

Slowly she lifts a trembling hand. She catches his eyes dart down to it as she moves it closer to him. Part of her wants to rip her hand back, to realize that this is the stupidest decision she’s ever made. Holding hands with Kylo Ren? Ha! The Resistance would surely shun her forever, if not arrest her for treason. But her hand stays out, and her heart beats faster when she sees him pulling off his glove one finger at a time. 

The tension in the room becomes so thick she can barely breathe. Or it’s the anticipation. Either way, that plus the fire is making the room stifling. 

But still, her hand remains. 

His fingers inch slowly towards hers and she vaguely wonders if he can hear her heart beating out of her chest. It certainly sounds deafening to her. Maybe he can even see it pounding. 

There’s a brief moment where he pauses mere millimeters from her, and then with a deep breath from both of them, their fingertips touch. 

It’s like a lightning bolt shoots through her hand down to her feet. She gasps loudly at the sensation as tears finally crest over and roll down her cheeks. Vague images flicker through her mind with no sense of time or reason. The only consistent thing is that they all feature him; the man in front of her staring back at her with wide eyes. His breath is ragged to match her own. She watches as his lip trembles slightly. 

And what nice lips they are.

She yanks her hand back at the thought. She can tell she’s thrown him with her sudden retreat because he just keeps staring at her, his chest still heaving and his brows drawn over his dark eyes. 

Rey doesn’t have an explanation for him. And even if she could find one, she definitely doesn’t want to say it aloud. So she sits silently watching his large chest expand with every breath. The same chest that was bare to her only hours before. 

With the wine still hindering her rational thinking, she shoots off her seat, now standing slightly above him. He still hasn’t said a word, but his eyes follow her frame, probably completely confused by her every move. The alcohol is giving her a courage she’s not used to. Courage and stupid impulses that she would never - should never -  act on. 

Yet she is.

She takes a step towards him, removing the space between them. Her legs are slotted on either side of his knee. Kylo—No. Ben stares up at her with wide eyes. His gaze doesn’t leave her and it makes her feel oddly powerful. 

Wanted. 

Moving closer, she places a knee next to his hip before lowering down to straddle his lap. A strangled gasp leaves his mouth and his eyes widen more than before. She can see the shock in them, but deeper down there’s something else. Something darker. 

Lust. 

And it’s terrifying yet thrilling. 

“Rey…” he weakly croaks. His eyes dart across her face, completely unsure of what is happening. 

She simply covers his mouth with her hand and replies with a soft but firm, “Shut up.” Her fingers fall from his mouth, trailing along his skin to his throat. She stares quite blatantly at his lips. Her mouth suddenly goes dry and she swallows audibly while licking her own lips. His thighs twitch underneath her as his eyes follow her tongue. 

“Kiss me.” She whispers the demand almost as if R’iia will hear and strike her down where she stands. Well… sits. “Kiss me, Ben. Make me feel something else.”

Between the cave and the wine, she’s felt nothing but despair all night. That is until he touched her hand. Maybe he can make her forget everything else too. Forget the crushing loneliness, the pain, the heartbreak. She’s so tired of feeling numb. 

He doesn’t move - and she doesn’t give him the chance to - because she moves her hand to his hair and tugs his head back before crushing her lips against his. It’s sloppy, harsh, and awkward, but she’s slightly inebriated and it’s her first kiss so she really couldn’t care less at the moment.

His lips freeze underneath hers for a second as the sudden assault on his lips throws him, but he quickly responds in turn. He grabs her cheeks - one hand gloved and the other not - and kisses her back enthusiastically. 

She squeaks as he pulls her close, the leather from his glove feeling soft as it caresses her cheek. His mouth responds to her with as much - if not more - vigor. Their lips gnash together so hard and uncoordinated that it’s almost bruising. But it’s also exhilarating. If he’s bothered by her inexperience he doesn’t show it. He just pulls her closer like he’s on Jakku and she’s his only source of water. 

Ben nips and tugs at her bottom lip and she’s not completely sure what to do but she opens her lips like she’s seen in the holos. The sudden intrusion of his tongue into her mouth throws her for a loop. It doesn’t quite feel good, but it doesn’t feel bad either. She tries to copy his ministrations, moving her tongue around his. A throaty moan escapes him and pretty soon both are fighting for dominance. 

Biology inevitably takes over and - much to Rey’s horror and curiosity - she feels Ben’s anatomy pressing up into her inner thigh. He slides his hands down to her hips and shifts her slightly to make himself more comfortable as his pants become tighter. As he adjusts her she rubs against his thigh in such a way that sends electric pulses shooting up her body. She half gasps half moans, her hands quickly grabbing onto his shoulders as an anchor to reality.

Ben freezes underneath her and both of them lock eyes. Their breath is heavy and their chests press together with every inhale. The hard planes of his pecs meet her breasts in a new way that’s incredibly thrilling. She looks down at him and sees so much uncertainty in his eyes. Like he’s terrified to make a wrong move. 

“Rey—”

“Shh,” she cuts him off. With her hands braced on his shoulders and a deep breath of courage, Rey inexpertly rocks her hips. His thigh presses against her core in that same, electric way again and a wave of pleasure rolls through her. Her head falls back as a moan rumbles in her chest. 

Ben stares at her in awe. Just hours ago she was yelling at him and now she’s grinding against his thigh. His adversary. His equal. His bond mate. His destiny.

“Stop thinking so much,” Rey demands, bringing her hand to the back of his head and tugging at his hair again. His barrage of thoughts is bleeding over their bond and ruining the moment. She doesn’t want to think. She just wants to feel. There’s no before or after, there’s only right now.

She smashes her lips to his again, still rocking gently against his leg. He must take her demand as a challenge because he kisses her back harshly, nipping at her bottom lip. 

Ben devours her mouth, greedy to take everything she’s willing to give him. He shifts under her. His pants are becoming uncomfortably tight and Rey rubbing against him isn’t helping. Deciding to take matters into his own hands, he stands up from his chair, his hands braced under her perfectly firm ass. Rey yelps and wraps her legs around his waist. 

She looks down at him with a surprised yet heated look that makes him smirk a bit. Finally, the tables turn in his favor. He walks them over to his bed and sets her down before undoing his pants. He goes slow, giving her all the time in the world to stop him. But she doesn’t. She just hungrily watches his hands. Watches as his pants slide down his legs to the floor, revealing the black undershorts he wears underneath. 

His eyes flutter closed and he sighs in relief as his cock gets more room to breathe. He hears a loud swallow, causing him to look back at Rey. She’s still just sitting there staring at his now more prominent arousal. 

“Rey,” he says softly, bringing her attention up to him. There’s a slightly fearful yet crazed look in her eyes that makes him worry. “We don’t have to do anything. We can stop.”

Her lip trembles slightly. “I’m tired,” she admits quietly. 

He nods. “I know.”

She isn't done. “I’m tired of being all alone.”

“I know,” he repeats, this time softer.

“I don't want to be alone anymore.” She slowly stands up, their bodies pressed so close together that it makes him step back, but she doesn’t let him go too far. She grabs the bottom of his tunic and pulls him close. Her fingers trail up to his belt and she fiddles with it, trying to unlatch it. 

A minute goes by and she’s still pressing her fingers everywhere but can’t seem to get it off, so he so graciously clicks the latch (oh there is it) and throws his belt across the room. Then he just stands there waiting for her next move. He’s not going to push her to do anything and she finds it oddly sweet and comforting. 

She delves her fingers under his tunic and starts to lift. He helps her with his clothes, which turn out to be more layers than she anticipated, and soon he’s left in nothing but undershorts. He’s even removed his second glove. Now she’s standing in front of the same naked chest she just saw hours earlier, but this time she very much doesn’t want him to put a cowl on. 

He gives a small, deep chuckle as if he heard the thought bleed across their minds. Her brows raise in shock at the sound. It’s one of the nicest things she’s ever heard. 

Rey tentatively reaches out and feels along the planes of his stomach. It’s hard yet also soft in a nice way. Strong yet it’d probably be comfortable to lay her head on. His stomach sinks inward as his muscles contract underneath, shocked by her sudden touch. Her fingers briefly trail over to the bowcaster wound along his side before moving up his chest. They dance along the scar that she gave him. 

She leans forward and presses a kiss directly on his collarbone where she sliced through his skin with his family’s saber. He sucks in a quick breath, causing her to look up at him. His eyes are dark despite the fire still glowing next to them. He’s trembling and she suspects he’s trying really hard to hold back because he’s looking at her like he wants to devour her. 

And she might be drunk and crazy enough to let him. 

“Kiss me,” she says for the second time tonight. But this time he doesn’t hesitate. He grabs the back of her head and crashes his lips to hers. His tongue quickly slithers past her lips and tangles with hers in a way that makes her knees weak. She cants into him, most of her weight being supported by his chest. A moan rumbles through his throat and she feels the vibrations as he pulls her closer. 

She turns them around and pushes him slightly so that his calves hit the bed and he’s forced to sit. She puts a knee on the bed, leaning over him. He scoots back so there’s more room and she slowly climbs up, straddling his thigh again. Her knee gently brushes against the still very prominent bulge in his shorts and he shudders with a groan. 

Suddenly curiosity starts getting the better of her. She places a hand on his chest and pushes him so he lies down on the bed. He goes willingly, his eyes not leaving her as he tries to figure out what she’s doing. Her hand trails down from his chest to his stomach, then to the light dusting of hair she didn’t see when he was shirtless before. The patch trails underneath his shorts to the source of her attention. 

She bravely lets her hand caress along the outline and her throat instantly goes dry. It’s much harder than she was expecting. Then again, she didn’t know what to expect. 

“Rey,” Ben groans, quickly slapping his hand over hers to stop her motion. It forces her eyes back to his. “Please…”

She’s not sure if it’s a ‘please stop’ or a ‘please continue’. It could be both. She’s not sure if Ben even knows. 

“I want to see it,” she says before she loses her nerve. “I want to see you touch it…”

Ben’s eyes go wide as an incoherent sound strangles in his throat. 

“Please?” she whispers. 

He trembles underneath her, his jaw moving back and forth as he debates what to do. He lifts his hand, allowing hers to retreat. Keeping his gaze on her, he slips his hand under his shorts and slowly pulls out his cock. 

Rey gasps quietly at the sight of it and she’s pretty sure she feels his sudden desire to crawl into a hole. She didn’t know what to expect, but she stares at his pink, raw arousal with want. A tiny bead of liquid rolls down from the tip and she subconsciously squeezes her thighs around his. There’s a tiny whimper and it must come from her because his cock twitches at the sound. 

She fights to pull her gaze from it to face him. There’s a dark, hungry look in his eyes. She sees it and knows that from this moment forward, every time he takes himself in his hand, it’ll be her that he pictures. It’ll be this moment that crosses his mind, with her perched on his thigh. And the knowledge of that makes her feel powerful. 

Is it lust in his eyes or maybe something akin to love? She doesn’t know. Those emotions have never been geared toward her before. But at this moment she doesn’t really care. All she cares about is how good he feels, his body pressed against hers. 

He starts to open his mouth, so she presses a hand over his lips. “No. No talking... Just feeling.” Rey moves her hand that’s not covering his mouth and grabs his. She brings his hand down and makes his fingers wrap around his cock. She guides him, her hand over his, as he strokes slowly down. His eyes flutter closed with a guttural moan as his hips buck up slightly at the motion. The noise and the sight of him touching himself makes her rock against his thigh again, her own moan matching his. 

Rey pulls her hands away, placing them both on his chest for balance. He continues to stroke himself as she grinds down on him. She slides further down him until his knee presses up against her core. The hardness of his bone provides just the right amount of resistance and friction against her still-damp pants that she cants forward as heat starts pooling low in her pelvis. Her own wetness mixes with the seawater that previously drenched her pants.

Her stomach brushes up against the tip of his cock and his eyes shoot open at the sensation to meet her gaze. A bead of precum smears onto her shirt as she rubs harder on him. Her brow furrows at the string that now connects her shirt to his arousal. She lifts a hand from his chest and wipes at the strange liquid, curiously rubbing it between her fingers. It’s not quite the texture she thought it’d be. Thicker. It’s also warmer than she thought. 

Her gaze turns back down to Ben, whose pupils have blown so wide, they make his eyes look black. He watches her finger intently, his tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. 

As if she’s possessed by some spirit, Rey takes her finger and slowly wipes the liquid down her chest from her throat to the top of her breasts. He chokes out an incoherent sound, his free hand grabbing and tugging at the bottom of her shirt. 

“Rey…” he whimpers. “Please…?”

He doesn’t speak again, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes scream what he’s thinking. What he desires. 

If you get to see me, then I want to see you. 

With a quick inhale of courage, Rey slides her still-damp shirt up and off, tossing it aside. She watches as his eyes widen at the sight of her breastband. He stops stroking his cock, moving his hands up the expanse of her hips, then her stomach, then they freeze right before he can touch her bosom. He looks at her, the question in his eyes. He won’t continue unless she says yes. 

And R’iia does she want to say yes. 

She nods, shyly yet also a little too enthusiastically. Upon her okay, he rips her breast band down, exposing her chest to him. She immediately brings her arms up and crosses them to cover herself. Her face flushes and gets uncomfortably hot and she looks up at the ceiling. 

Stupid.

Why did she let him do that? He probably hates what he sees. He’s probably disgusted. Just a scrawny, underdeveloped scavenger with tiny tits. 

“Hey,” he softly says, stopping her from spiraling. She brings her embarrassed gaze back to him. He shakes his head. “You’re perfect.” 

Rey sucks in a tiny breath at the response. No one’s ever said that to her before and it nearly brings tears to her eyes. She relaxes slightly and lets him pull her arms away so he can see her again. If it’s even possible, that hungry look in his eyes grows. His hand gently cups her petite breast and she gasps at the feeling. His thumb brushes across her pebbled nipple causing her to moan loudly, her head falling back. 

Ben suddenly sits up and takes her breast in his mouth, sucking and tugging on her nipple. She cries out at the foreign feeling of his tongue against her skin. Her hands come up and thread through his hair. She pulls at his raven locks, moans rumbling in her chest. He switches to her other breast, his tongue swirling around her nipple, and she can’t help but grind down on his knee again. His cock is trapped between them, the head rubbing against her stomach with each rock of her hips. He groans around her breast. 

Rey pushes him so he falls back to the bed. Their breath is labored, their bodies now covered in a light sheen of sweat. She grinds harder against him and her insides begin to twist, making her pant and whimper. 

Ben watches in wonderment as she rides his leg. The very awkward, touch-starved part of him briefly thinks that he’s never going to wash his thigh again, but he quickly brushes it aside lest it bleeds across the bond and she hears. He takes himself in hand again and strokes his cock in time with her rocking. The head rubs against her stomach, sending teasing sensations down his legs and making his balls clench with each movement.  

“Kriff, Rey,” he moans, stroking himself harder. 

She slaps a hand over his mouth. “Shut up, Ben,” she demands. Her eyes close and her jaw falls open as she grinds harder. It feels like there’s a vice inside her, twisting her organs tighter and tighter. Something is building, and she’s not sure if she’s afraid or eager to find out what it is. 

A low moan escapes from her chest, that peak growing higher with each thrust of her hips. Her movements become less fluid and more jagged as she gets closer. Her skin feels like it’s on fire and beads of sweat roll down her face, dripping onto her breasts. 

Ben watches as her chest glistens. He wants nothing more than to lick each bead of sweat from her skin, but again, he won’t push her. He’ll gladly take as much as she gives him. So he stays silent, her hand still covering his mouth, and strokes his cock faster. The muscles in his thighs begin to twitch and he knows he’s almost there. 

He uses his free hand to grab at Rey’s breast, his thumb rolling across her perfectly erect nipple. Her moans get even louder with the added sensation. 

If it’s still pouring outside she doesn’t know, nor does she care. She can’t hear the rain over the sounds the two of them are making. Though she swears she vaguely hears her name being called, but chalks it up to her imagination. She just brings her attention back to Ben and his wonderful wonderful knee. 

“Ben…” she coarsely whines. His hand squeezes her breast harder in response. So hard that she suspects she might have fingerprint-shaped bruises afterward. And that thought is strangely arousing. 

She grinds down as hard as she can and then suddenly something snaps inside her. She cries out, jerking forward as wave after wave of pleasure crests through her body. 

“Kriff, Rey,” Ben grunts against her hand, reaching his peak right after her. 

Ropes of hot cum shoot onto her stomach and it weirdly enhances the sensations that she’s feeling. Like some primal part of her is enjoying being marked by him. 

“Stop!” booms a voice. Suddenly the wall next to the door explodes, rocks crashing to the ground. Rain washes in with the howling wind. 

Both Ben and Rey’s heads whip to the side to see the intruder standing there with their hand stretched out.

“Aw kriff!” Ben yells, bucking Rey up slightly in his shock that Luke can actually see him. And his cock.

“Luke!” Rey squeals in horror, falling off Ben’s leg to his side. She hastily grabs the thin sheet from the bed and pulls it up to cover herself. By the time she’s done, the man whose thigh just brought her to climax has vanished into thin air, leaving her alone with his furious-looking uncle. 

“Take your things and go,” he quietly commands, his voice teetering on restrained fury. Despite his anger, he at least has enough chivalry to turn his gaze from her half-naked body.

“Luke–” she chokes, attempting to… She doesn’t even know what she’s attempting to do. There’s no explanation she can give that would forgive her actions. Tears stream down her face in embarrassment and shame. 

“Leave. Now.” He doesn’t give her another look. Just simply turns and leaves the destroyed hut.

Sobs violently wrack her body. She holds tight to the sheet against her chest, Ben’s spend still smeared on her stomach like a loth wolf marking its territory. She cries and cries as the sky beats rain down into her hut. She’s so mortified. She can’t believe she got caught in that position, nonetheless with Kylo Ren himself. Luke’s probably telling Chewie who will tell the Resistance and she’ll be ostracized forever. They could have her arrested for treason for this. Consorting with the enemy? How stupid could she be?

And what is she to do now?