Archive of Our Own ^beta

"But who wants to live forever, babe?

You treat your mouth as if it's Heaven's gate

The rest of you like you're the TSA

I wish that I could go along, babe, don't get me wrong

You know, you're bright as the morning, as soft as the rain

Pretty as a vine, as sweet as a grape

If you can sit in a barrel, maybe I'll wait

Until that day

I'd rather take my whiskey neat

My coffee black and my bed at three

You're too sweet for me

You're too sweet for me"

Alejandro sits at the bar, nursing a beer. It's a cheap beer, watered down, flat and flavorless. How long had he been nursing this beer? The carbonation is long gone but he doesn't notice.

What Alejandro does notice is Rudy. 

How could he not notice Rudy? God and the holy Saints could be in the room and Alejandro would still only see Rudy.

All of his thoughts, consumed by his best friend. Alejandro watches Rudy, mesmerized, his eyes never straying, his smile never frowning. Alejandro takes a sip of his beer. Had Rudy’s shirt always been that tight around his chest and arms? Alejandro was sure if Rudy flexed his bicep a little more, then the poor shirt would give out. 

Alejandro also notices the man talking to Rudy and his heart squeezes painfully. 

Since they had entered the bar, this man had been on Rudy like a fly to honey. Not that Alejandro could blame him really. Rudy was as sweet as honey off base. The boyish grin and easy going nature drew everyone to him like a moth to the flame. Rudy never sought the attention but it was still there all the same. 

Normally, Alejandro would try to distract himself with the company of beautiful people but he couldn’t leave Rudy alone. Besides, there was no one here more beautiful than his best friend. 

Best friend. Alejandro reminds himself painfully. Best friend.

Would it be so bad if they shared a kiss? They could blame the alcohol. Blame the stress. Blame Alejandro. Alejandro couldn’t care less as long as his curiosity was satisfied. Would Rudy’s lips be soft or chapped from the heat? Would he taste like his rum and Coke? Alejandro was sure he could get drunk off of Rudy and not from the liquor residue. 

The boy flirting with Rudy couldn’t have been more than 25. 

A boy not a man. Rudy deserves a man.

Alejandro grimaces as the young man places a modest hand on Rudy's back, rubbing gently. His heart twists as Rudy laughs at a joke. His stomach sinks as he notices the young man looking at Rudy’s lips and Rudy not doing anything about it. 

Was this boy so much better than Alejandro? This boy was too young, not enough life lived. Rudy deserves someone experienced. Someone who had seen the high and lows of life and could navigate them easily. Someone who could take the lead. Someone who would worship the very ground Rudy walked on. Someone like Alejandro, not this blond gringo from the States. 

Did Rudy truly not see Alejandro as an option? 

Alejandro had been around, sure. He had slept with both men and women but Rudy never seemed to mind or care. He would always say the same thing every morning: “long night?” Had Alejandro's own selfish desire to squish any feelings for his best friend now contributed to the fact that maybe Rudy didn’t see him as an option? Or did Rudy just only see Alejandro as a friend and nothing more? 

Rudy was the sun and Alejandro could and would willing be his most loyal priest. Rudy was like sugar and cream. He was rain.

Alejandro knew he himself wasn’t sweet. Too much betrayal, too much anger and too much loss had permanently scarred his outlook on life. How could Rudy remain so light ? 

If Rudy was the sun then Alejandro would willingly be burned every day. He would be the moon. If Rudy was sugar and cream then Alejandro would be the most bitter espresso. If Rudy was the rain then Alejandro would be the thunder and lightning. 

They would balance each other out. 

Unlike that boy, Alejandro thinks, he’s too eager. Too needy.

The boy offers to buy Rudy another rum and Coke. 

That’s too far .

Alejandro leans over to Rudy, his mouth nearly brushing against Rudy’s ear. “We have training in the morning. Do you really want to do that hungover?” 

Rudy glances over. They are so close now. Alejandro only had to move his lips a little closer and they’d be kissing. 

“It would only be my second rum and Coke. I’m not a lightweight, Colonel.” Rudy grins. 

“I just want you to be safe.” Alejandro admits. “Getting drunk with a stranger is not the safe move here Rudy. We have enemies everywhere. If you want to get drunk then I have a bottle of whiskey in my office.” 

“What happened to not getting drunk so we don’t train hungover?”

The boy interrupts and Alejandro wants to scream. “Do you know each other?” 

Rudy turns away from Alejandro. Alejandro wants to curse. 

“Alejandro is my best friend. We work together.” Rudy explains. 

“Oh,” the boy looks at Alejandro. “What’s your name?” 

“Colonel Alejandro Vargas.” Alejandro introduces, putting an arm around Rudy, pulling him closer, away from the young man. In the process, he pushes the young man’s arm off of Rudy’s back. 

The young man looks annoyed that Alejandro didn’t ask for his name and that Alejandro removed his hand from Rudy’s back. “My name is Peter Swenson. You are both in the military?” 

Rudy nods. “Alejandro is a Colonel. I’m a Sergeant Major.” 

Peter grins. “Is that high up? Tough guy yeah?” 

Rudy chuckles but it’s Alejandro who speaks up. “Tough guy who has training in the morning. We should get going.” 

Alejandro doesn’t wait for Rudy to agree. He just pulls Rudy up to his feet and practically drags him outside. He guides Rudy into an alleyway.

“Ale, what was that?” Rudy demands.

Alejandro can’t help but stare at Rudy. He backs Rudy up against the cold alley wall. He looks at Rudy’s lips. He could kiss him right now. He could kiss Rudy and show that he would be better for him then that boy, Peter. Alejandro could be so much better. Alejandro would be so much better. 

Alejandro was espresso and Rudy was his sugar and cream.   

“He was just after one thing. Couldn’t you see? He wanted to get you drunk. He wanted to be in your bed.” Alejandro tries to keep his jealousy from rearing its ugly head. He couldn’t ruin this now, not when Rudy was so close to him. 

Rudy chuckles. “And?”

Alejandro bites the inside of his cheek for a moment. “And?” He repeats hoping that he misheard Rudy. That Rudy would be repulsed by Peter just as much as Alejandro was.

“Does it matter? You hook up with strangers all the time.” 

“But that’s different.” Alejandro retorts, the feeling of jealousy and now shame for his brash reactions now building up. 

“How?” Rudy asks, getting closer to Alejandro. 

Alejandro takes a step forward and Rudy takes a step back. Alejandro puts his hands on either side of Rudy’s head. “Because if you slept with him, with Peter” Alejandro spits out the name like it is poison, “you’d be thinking of him, how he kisses you, how he touches you, how he makes you feel.” Alejandro whispers the last part. 

“Ale?” 

“It’s different for me because I imagine you. I imagine you every time. Every time it's you. It's always you. Even when I desperately try not to. I think of how much better it would be if I was with you, kissing you, feeling you.” 

“Ale—.”

“Shush” Alejandro puts a finger against Rudy’s lips. They are surprisingly soft. “Don’t go for Peter. He is too young. You need someone older, someone wiser, a leader. I can be that for you. Let me be that for you Rudy, please.” He begs slightly. “Let me the moon to your sun, the espresso to your sugar.”

“Kiss me.” The request is so soft from Rudy.

Alejandro doesn’t need any more invitations. He cups Rudy’s face between his hands and kisses him. Alejandro kisses Rudy like a starving man. He kisses Rudy like he’s a fire needing to be dowsed. He kisses Rudy like he’s feeling the warmth of the sun for the first time. He kisses Rudy like it might be the last thing he would ever do. 

If Alejandro died right now, he wouldn’t care because this was his heaven. Kissing Rudy was as close to salvation as Alejandro would get. 

He pulls away slowly, only a couple inches away. “Was that good?”

Rudy chuckles, breathlessly. “Very good. Do it again.”

“Come home with me.” Alejandro whispers, his voice begging. 

“We live at base.” Rudy reminds him. “We live at the same place.”

“Stay with me in my bed. We don’t have to do anything. I just want to be near you.”

Alejandro wants to have Rudy in whichever way Rudy would take him. Alejandro just wanted to be with Rudy. He loved Rudy and would do his best to show Rudy how good Alejandro could love him. 

He kisses Rudy’s check, then jaw, then his neck. Alejandro works his way back up to Rudy’s soft lips. Heaven was found by Alejandro in this dark alley. Heaven was Rudy and Alejandro would protect his heaven with the very fires of Hell if need be. 

Rudy’s face flushes. “Alright Alejandro, take me home.”