Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Wei Qian."

"Wei Qian?"

"Wei Qian!"

"Huh?!" Wei Qian shoots his head up from his desk, startled to be hearing his name being called suddenly.

"Are you ok?"

He looks at San Pang, who is hovering over him, clearly worried.

He straightens his back, fixes his tie and clears his throat before answering. "I'm fine. Why?"

"You just...," San Pang starts, looking at him curiously, like he's thinking hard. "Something about the way you look... looks familiar."

"Familiar how?" he asks suddenly, getting irritated. He feels really hot, like the AC in the office is on low.

"Are you taking your vitamins?" His friend asks suddenly.

Wei Qian looks down at his desk, wracks his brain in hesitation. Yuan gives him his vitamins, he just realises he can't stomach them as of late. He doesn't take them, but he doesn't let Yuan know that. He can't tell San Pang either or Yuan will know eventually because he doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut.

"Yes," he lies. It's becoming easier to lie as of late, especially to Yuan (about minor things).

"Ok. How is the report coming? Are you ready for the meeting tomorrow?"

Qian nods in acknowledgment. "Yeah, I'm almost done."

San Pang smiles. "Ok, I'll leave it to you then."

Qian nods. He looks up at San Pang through his glasses when he realises his friend hasn't moved and the action makes his eyes feel heavy and stressed at the sudden motion. He tries to squint the pain away.

San Pang sits on his desk and really looks at him. "You sure you're alright?"

"Yeah, I am," Qian repeats, irritated.

San Pang sniffs the air, then tilts his head in his direction and sniffs again. "You smell weird."

Wei Qian slaps at him and San Pang jumps off the desk. "What the hell? Is something wrong with you?"

"Actually, no. Somehow you remind me of Lili, just a little bit."

Wei Qian stands, cracking his knuckles, giving San Pang the stink eye.

San Pang backs away, raising his hands in surrender. "Ok, I'll leave you alone."

Just then, Xiong emerges from his office, fixing his cuff links and looking at them. "I'm going to drink with the clients from earlier. San Pang, you ready? Wei Qian, do you want to come with us?"

Wei Qian grins, baring his teeth at his friend. "Yuan's coming back tonight, do you still want me to come?"

That wipes the grin right off Xiong's face. He looks at San Pang, who looks just as panicked before answering him with a stifled, "Huuh, no. forget it. Forget I even asked."

Wei Qian nods, watching them hurry to leave, rushing like they think Yuan will magically appear out of thin air and get on their cases. He shakes his head and sits down, deciding to put the last touches on their presentation for the next day. He looks at his watch and realises Yuan isn't due back until another two hours. He can do some work and then go home, pretending like he wasn't putting in some extra hours at the office. He looks at the computer screen, at the file that needs editing and his eyes water. He takes his glasses off and rubs at them, squints at the screen and realises that the more he looks at it, the more his eye water flows. He looks at the time, 8:30pm, turns off the monitor and shuts down. He clears off his desk, then decides to head home. He'll curl up on the couch with Yuan's clothes and wait for him to come back to him, watching TV or something in the cold, lonely place. It's not the same when Yuan isn't there, just a house, but when he's present it's a home.

He grabs his jacket and his bag, turns the lights off and heads towards the door. He's got his hand on the knob, about to turn it when he stops in his tracks. He smells it, like warmth and comfort, safety and love. The smell hits him from beyond the closed door and he wonders if he's dreaming, wanting his lover, his alpha, so bad his senses are creating his scent out of thin air. He takes a deep sniff, savouring the scent of Yuan, feeling his limbs go weak at the way he realises he needs him so much he's manifesting him into his presence. It's only been two days since Yuan's been gone and it's like he doesn't know how to function without him, like the good little omega baby he is, forever tied and mated.

He shakes his head, trying to clear it of the fog. He's overwhelmed and he needs to be held, tightly, loved the only way Yuan knows how to do. He wonders what's wrong with him suddenly, why he's so emotional and pitiful. He turns the knob and pulls, making to walk through it when he realises he's looking at a pair of very familiar shoes. He gasps at the sight, recognizing them immediately. His eyes travelled up, taking in the pants he ironed, the shirt he pressed, the hands that held him and the lips that kissed him goodbye after they made love that day. Then the eyes, Yuan's eyes, were so warm and soft for him, only him.

"Yuan," he gasps as he falls into his lover's embrace, the bag clattering to the ground as he holds on for dear life.

"Wei Qian," Yuan exhales on a breath like a prayer, his arms tight around his lover, his little omega, never wanting to let him go. He kisses the top of his head softly, enjoying the moment; savoury and sweet.

"Hey, I figured you'd be here working after I told you not to stay so late. Are you ready to go home?"

Wei Qian nods, his head buried in Yuan's chest. He squeezes him around the middle, hard, shaking with relief and excitement at the pleasant surprise. He brings his head up and Yuan uses the opportunity to kiss him, to pull his tongue into his mouth and lick/suck until he's a soft mess. He feels so overwhelmed; Yuan's scent, his embrace, his taste. His body flushes as he gets aroused. He starts producing slick and he feels it, needs Yuan inside him; everywhere.

"Yuan...?" he moans softly, swallowing when Yuan pulls him flush against his hard body, his hard length that he can feel through their layers of clothes in places.

"Are you alone?" Yuan asks as he bodily walks him back into the office and closes the door. With the lock.

"Yeah, I'm alone," he pants, wanting this, wanting Yuan so bad. He doesn't let go as they power walk over to his desk, flicking the light switch on on the way. Yuan  puts him on the desk to sit, opens his legs, then stands between them. He angles his head, which Yuan cradles, for the kisses he can't get enough of. Yuan uses his tongue like the weapon it is, not just on his lips, but down his neck and across his shoulder blades.

"Yuan~," he moans wantonly.

Yuan doesn't let up, using his hands to get at him everywhere.

"Qian~," Yuan reciprocates, pulling back and licking down his collar bone. Their combined scent is so thick in the air it would choke anybody else, but it works for them, working them over and getting them in the frenzied heat of each other.

"Qian," Yuan repeats before he sits in his chair, then he pulls him down to sit on his lap, back to chest. Qian moves his hips, grinding on Yuan while Yuan grips his hip and helps him move.

"Huuuh, Qian..."

"Xiao Yuan," Qian moans, feeling it, wanting it, his slick increasing. "Put it in me."

It's like Yuan was waiting for the command. He shoves Qian's pants and underwear down to his knees, then he hurriedly unbuckles his belt and frees himself, making Qian sit on it in one swift motion.

Qian gasps as it opens him up, relishing the burn and the stretch. It's only been two days but for him it feels like a lifetime. He bounces on it a few times before he braces his hands on his work desk for some leverage. His slick makes it easier and messy, but he loves it anyway.

"Yuan...! Ah! Xiao Yuan," he cries out, breath stuttering, loving every inch of that thing. Yuan angles him to the side and pulls him back for a kiss, their tongues locked as his brother fists him while he rides. He pressures his hips as he takes it but they make it work, he's got no other option. Yuan's right hand splayed across his stomach makes it flutter like there are butterflies in there wanting to break free.

"Qian, I love you so much, my Qian," Yuan keeps repeating in between kisses and licks.

Qian just moans his agreement, wincing when Yuan's knot tries to catch. They don't allow it to though, because this is the office and that would be a bad idea. He rides until he feels it, pooling low in his belly bottom, then branching out and up his spine, endorphins flooding his system like a tidal wave. He comes so hard, riding out his orgasm while Yuan fists him, panting and moaning into Yuan's mouth.

"You ok?" Yuan asks when he's through, just sitting on him and catching his breath.

He swallows thickly before wincing. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Yuan licks his hand clean, then he kisses him, making him taste himself on his tongue. He’s still hard inside him and he wiggles a little to let him know he can continue. Yuan doesn't need the incentive though because he's exploding inside Qian, not deep enough for his knot to catch but for him to cum inside him.

"Qian~" Yuan moans through his orgasm, holding his big brother so tight Qian knows he'll be seeing bruises on his skin later. They bask in the afterglow of each other's embrace for a minute before deciding to clean up, Qian always stashing a change of clothes in familiar places (like in the office and in the car) for situations like this.

When they're through, they walk to Yuan's Honda HRV, their hands intertwined the same way their fate is.

"I love you," Yuan says with a smile, right as he pushes the start button and the engine turns over.

Qian smiles at him. "I know."

Then, they drive off to the next best place outside each other's company: Home.

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

For the next couple of days Wei Qian finds himself throwing up and feeling low and weak. He hides it from Yuan as much as possible, telling him it’s a stomach bug from something he ate the rare times Yuan catches him in the act. He gets babied, obviously, when he’s sick and Yuan always makes him feel better. He goes into work and everybody tries to take care of him when Yuan’s not there, like they’re on some type of rotation. Fei said once that Yuan will drill them on why he ate lunch at 1:15pm instead of 1:00pm, like it’s their fault and they need to fix it, so nobody is really listening to him anymore because they all report to his lover.

San Pang keeps looking at him weird though, like he’s trying to figure something out but he doesn’t know what yet. He asks him about it and his friend just tells him something is off about him, but he doesn’t know what. He tells him something’s off about him too because suddenly Lili’s scent is overbearing on him when it used to be tolerable. As a matter of fact, he suddenly can’t stand the scent of Amy’s cologne and the soap that Xiong Ge uses.They’re in the small kitchen drinking tea when Qian feels a queasiness in his stomach, then saliva floods his mouth so he bolts to the bathroom to throw up, San Pang hot on his heels.

“Wei Qian, Wei Qian, are you alright?”

San Pang holds his shoulder while he empties his stomach in the toilet. When he’s done he heads to the sink and rinses his mouth out with mouthwash before saying anything.

“Wei Qian, how do you feel?”

He takes stock of himself, knows he’s not great but says the opposite.

“I’m fine.”

“No you're not.”

He looks at his friend, looks at him good and realises his face is very serious.

“What do you mean? You’re acting like you know what’s wrong with me,” he chuckles while his stomach roils unpleasantly.

San Pang pokes his head out the stall to make sure they’re alone, then he locks the bathroom door with the lock before turning back to Wei Qian.

“You really don't know what's happening to you? You have no idea?”

Wei Qian nods his head, he really doesn't. 

“You really don’t...?”

“Spit it out!” Wei Qian says impatiently, getting dark on his friend.

“You're pregnant!” San Pang blurts.

Wei Qian looks at him in stunned silence for a few seconds before he bursts out into uncontrollable laughter. 

“You're joking, right?” he asks incredulously, both hands on his hips.

San Pang shakes his head in the negative, a solemn look on his face. Wei Qian notices his friend isn’t joking and his laughter starts to die down, going from full belly incredulous to ‘are you really not kidding me?’.

He chuckles nervously before saying, “You know that can’t happen and you know why? Why would you seriously even think I’m pregnant?”

He crosses his arms over his chest.

San Pang gives him a look, like he’s thinking about it, then he says, “You smell like Lili did.”

“What?” he asks in disbelief.

“When Lili got pregnant her scent changed, then she had the same symptoms you did. It’s morning sickness.”

Wei Qian refused to believe it. “I can’t get pregnant, you know what my mother did...”

San Pang sighs. “I know. But what if something’s changed? You’re an adult now and you have Yuan, maybe your body is finally in a state for it to happen because you're not high strung and stressed anymore. Maybe what your mother did wasn’t complete and things have righted themselves?”

Wei Qian listens to San Pang, and the possibility that what he’s saying might be even remotely true makes him want to throw up on its own. He doesn’t want to be pregnant, he can’t be! There’s no way and he won’t accept it. He says as much to San Pang.

“Will you at least go to the pharmacy and buy an omega pregnancy test? It might give you an idea. If you’re not satisfied, then go to Dr. Lin for a check up.”

Wei Qian doesn’t answer because he’s afraid. If there’s even a 1% chance he might be pregnant he just might jump off a bridge. There’s no way.

No fucking way he can be pregnant.

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

Yuan looks at him across the breakfast table, his spoon halfway to his mouth. Something shifts behind his eyes and he puts his spoon down and looks at him.

“What?” Wei Qian asks defensively.

“You’re not eating,” Yuan points out.

“I’m not hungry,” he answers cheerfully in reply, cradling his tea cup and holding it up to his face..

Yuan’s gaze doesn’t lessen in intensity. “Breakfast is your favourite meal of the day, you’ve never missed it before.”

His smile widens and he tries so hard to make it feel and look genuine. He’s still hiding behind the cup. “I’m just not hungry, I made the food for you.”

Yuan sinks back on his chair, smiling cheekily. “You love to watch me eat, don’t you?”

The knots in Wei Qian’s stomach slowly start to unravel, because if his little brother is flirting with him then he doesn’t know something’s off.

“Sure I do, whether it’s the food or me, I love to see you eating away at it.” He knows what he’s doing. He does it all the time. Xiao Yuan forgets about the food, puts him on the couch and on his knees. When Yuan is done with him he’s barely able to walk from the car to the office. 

It’s the best distraction in his arsenal and he’s going to use it.

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

He throws up again. The third time since the morning of the talk with San Pang, who is eyeing him from across the room. He makes his sick runs to the bathroom in the office look like regular bathroom breaks, but San Pang is on to him. By the fourth time his friend approaches him, holding out a packet for upset stomach.

“Amy said to give this to you. She said Yuan left them with her some time ago, telling her to give you some if you even look sick. I guess she thinks you do.”

He looks up from the toilet, giving San Pang the stink eye. He coughs, stands, then says, “Keep it, I’m not sick.”

San Pang rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you take my suggestion and then I’ll believe you. Did you buy the pregnancy test at least?”

Wei Qian doesn’t answer. Obviously, San Pang takes his silence as its own answer.

“You didn’t,” he chuckles seriously. “Maybe I can ask Yuan to...”

“NO!” Wei Qian shouts at the thought of San Pang even getting Yuan involved in this. He turns away from the sink and looks at his friend pleadingly. “I’ll buy the test, ok? Just..., don’t say anything to him. It won’t be positive anyways so I’ll do it.”

San Pang nods, happy to have his way.

Wei Qian brushes past him out the door before heading to his cubicle. Fuck San Pang and Fuck everything else. He’s not pregnant.

He’s not!

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

It’s positive.

The test is fucking positive.

Wei Qian breaks down in the pharmacy bathroom, the omega designated bathroom. He feels like he wants to explode, like he’s a ticking time bomb ready to go off. He sits on the toilet with the pregnancy test in his right hand and his left fist in his mouth, biting on it as a way to anchor himself. He wants to scream but he can’t, he wants to die but he can’t do that either because Yuan will bring him back and kill him again for giving up in the first place. He looks at the double lines on the stick and refuses to believe it.

He absolutely refuses to believe a man made device with a 30% chance for error. He falls into that 30%, he has to.

San Pang is waiting for him outside the pharmacy, leaning against his car while he smokes a cigarette. San Pang stopped smoking when his baby was born and right now, Wei Qian wishes he had a whole pack. He shoves his trembling hands in his coat pockets as he walks up to his friend.

They told Yuan they had an errand to run after work and San Pang will bring him home; he believed them.

“It’s positive, right?”

Wei Qian doesn’t look at his friend as he says, “We’ll go to Dr. Lin, these things are faulty anyways.”

San Pang looks at him long and hard. He looks like he wants to say something but after a moment he just nods.

“Okay, Wei Qian. Okay.”

In the car ride home, Wei Qian doesn’t know what to think, so he doesn’t think at all.

He even wishes he wasn’t around to be able to think.

************

The next day he goes through the ritual of his morning routine. He gets up early, makes Xiao Yuan’s breakfast and then they make love. He’s sensitive and needy in a way he wasn’t before and he notices now. Xiao Yuan doesn’t knot him because they are on a work schedule but he notices he wants him inside him longer, he wants more of Yuan’s body and he’s got an increasing appetite for his love. He just tells himself that everyday he just loves Yuan more and that’s all it is.

Yuan gets ready and he leaves for another trip to a different province, taking his car and driving away. These out of town trips are starting to irritate the heck out of him, even though a part of him is glad Yuan isn’t really here right now so he can sort himself out.

Wei Qian gets ready, waiting on San Pang to pick him up. He calls Xiong Ge and makes him promise to cover for them if Yuan calls asking for him, because San Pang is taking him to see Dr. Lin. He hasn’t seen the good Doctor in a while and he hopes he never has to see him again after this.

“So, what brings you to my humble little clinic, Wei Qian?” Dr. Lin asks cheekily when he sees him. “Your brain hasn’t ruptured this time, has it?” Dr. Lin quips.

The joke falls flat. Nobody laughs.

The Doctor rolls his eyes, turning in his chair to look at Wei Qian. “Sit.”

He does. Wei Qian averts his eyes, then mumbles softly. “I’m here for a pregnancy test.”

Dr. Lin looks at him questioningly. He shoots a look at San Pang, who also seems serious, before bringing his gaze back to Wei Qian.

“Why?”

Wei Qian rubs his hand over his face, getting agitated at the question. “What do you mean why? I’m not pregnant and I just want to prove it.”

Dr. Lin looks so confused. “You don’t need a test to tell you you’re pregnant because you obviously are.”

“What the hell are you going on about!?” Wei Qian shouts, kicking his chair back and getting in the Doctor’s face. “I can’t be pregnant, I don’t have a womb!”

Lin Zu Yuan matches his energy, rising from his own chair around his desk and staring Wei Qian down. “Who the hell told you that?! I saw your womb in the full body ex-ray we did when you were preparing for the surgery on your head last year!”

Wei Qian is stunned into silence, his whole body frozen at the news. He doesn’t know if he’s breathing or not, doesn’t know if he’s actually here because what the Doctor said must have been a lie.

“You’re lying.”

Dr. Lin rolls his eyes at him. “Why would I lie? You’re a fully functioning omega with a womb. Trust me, you can get pregnant and you probably ARE. I know what a pregnant omega smells like and trust me, you’re carrying right now.”

“No, I can’t...,” he repeats on autopilot, feeling his blood run cold at the realisation of what the Doctor is saying. “My mother gave me scent blockers  and she had my womb removed when I was twelve. She said she didn’t want me stealing her husband or anybody else. She said I wouldn’t come out to be anything good and it’s best I never bring another human being into this world to destroy. She said I don’t deserve to be happy...!”

Wei Qian isn’t functioning. He’s repeating all the things his mother told him like he’s reciting a grocery list. His mind is locked in that period when he came out as an omega, a scared little boy with no support or love, only heartache, manipulation and abuse.

He’s that little boy again.

San Pang covers his mouth with one hand, shocked and heartbroken to hear the things Wei Qian is saying about himself with such conviction. He hates it, hates that one of the best people in his life thinks so lowly of himself. Lili can never know what’s happening here because it would destroy her.

“How can you say that, Wei Qian? Everybody who knows you loves you! I thought you’ve learned that by now?”

Wei Qian doesn’t care about San Pang and what he’s saying, he focuses on the Doctor and getting him to admit that he’s lying and he’s not pregnant. 

Dr. Lin collapses back in his chair with a sigh, looking at Wei Qian grumpily. “Ok, here’s what we’ll do, I’ll do the advanced pregnancy test and we’ll know for sure if you’re pregnant, ok?”

Despite his reservations, Wei Qian nods. “Get it over with, I don’t have time to waste.”

Dr. Lin throws his hands up, then gets to work.

Nobody knows anything. Nobody at all. He's convinced everybody is an idiot.

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

Wei Qian doesn’t know how to let go of his nightmares. They plagued him with a vengeance last night and he doesn’t know how to deal with it. In them he’s nothing, nobody and everybody leaves him behind like his mother said they would, even Yuan. It’s worse than his worst nightmare. He clings to Yuan especially tight that morning, doesn't let him go and makes him late for work. 

Yuan doesn't mind, he can set his own schedule so Wei Qian keeps him there and works him over, taking, taking, taking while Yuan gives and gives and gives. Wei Qian falls back asleep after his lover leaves, his alpha scent and his musk strong in the sheets. His ass hurts because he got knotted about two times but it's all good. That's the type of pain he loves to feel. He burrows into the pile of fabric, wanting Yuan’s scent all around him. It lulls him back to sleep like the sweetest lullaby.

He dreams again. Nothing good; his mother reigns.

Something pings, then there’s a shrill and his eyes fly open while his heart races fiercely. Breathing is hard and his head pounds.

It’s his phone.

He catches his breath as he fumbles for the device on the night stand beside him, automatically accepting the call before putting the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Your test results are here. Do I need to state the obvious?”

Qian’s chest constricts so tightly he feels like he’s having a heart attack.

“No, no..I’ll come to you.”

The good Doctor hangs up the phone in his ears. 

The headache that follows is severe. All of a sudden his body feels weak and he wants to throw up. He does. The thing is, throwing up with a magnitude headache only makes it worse, so he feels like his head is literally trying to split open. It’s too much. He’s not thinking straight so he pops about eight headache pills. His mother tells him to take more, it will help. He does and it doesn’t help. She chides him for being weak and taking too long to do things, she curses at him when he falls down the last flight of stairs because he’s shaking so bad he can hardly walk properly and his headache is so bad he can hardly see straight. She only stays in the corner of his periphery but her voice is loud and clear. He groans from the pain to his back and head. Did he hit it coming down the stairs or is it just the headache?  She tells him to get up because he’s just a weak, disgusting little omega and he tries, he tries so much until he does, grabbing the bannister and wobbling his way upright. 

“You can walk out into the streets and in front of a bus, save that baby from a life with you in it, like you never did for me...”

She’s in his head. She’s in his head. She’s in his head.

He braces against the wall as he makes his way over to the door, which goes in and out of focus. It feels like there are pins and needles pricking him in every nerve ending and his joints want to give out. Somehow, someway he manages to make it out to the street and hail a cab while doubling over and clutching his stomach. His chest and head keeps hurting. When a car stops in front of him he braces against it and almost goes to his knees, feeling so much pain everywhere he thinks this is it, this is the anticlimactic way he will leave this world, none of his loved ones around to see him suffer.

He likes that idea, actually. He won’t be a burden to any of them.

His mother genuinely smiles at him for the first time in his life, he can feel it.

There’s hot hands pulling at him, gently helping him into the back of the car while a voice keeps speaking. He doesn’t know what it’s saying but he’s happy to hear somebody other than his mother, so damn happy.

“...take you to the nearest Doctor...”

The cab driver helps him inside Dr. Lin’s office and he collapses as soon as he sees the good Doctor’s shocked face, overjoyed to be meeting the darkness.

Yeah, not living would be a good thing right now, a very good thing.

Don’t tell Yuan he thought that.

***************************YUANxQIAN**************************

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Wei Qian doesn’t want to wake up. He wants to remain in the darkness where everything is peaceful, where life doesn’t exist and he doesn’t have to be. He starts to think, which makes him realise that consciousness is slowly coming back to him. He doesn’t know how to be, he just wants to stay in the darkness and never wake up again.

He has no intention of opening his eyes until he smells him. It hits him so strong his eyes fly wide open, it’s got a chokehold on his heart and his soul and he doesn’t know what to do about it. He doesn’t do anything but look.

“Wei Qian.”

Xiao Yuan is so angry. There’s the tick in his jaw, his mouth is tight. His fox tip eyes are hurt and angry and sorry. What does he have to be sorry for?

Lili is behind him, tears in her eyes. San Pang holds her in his embrace, looking sad. Even Xiong Ge is here.  He tries to swallow but starts choking instead because his throat is so dry. Yuan is the first to move. He grabs the cup off the small table and puts the straw at his lip.

“Drink.” Yuan commands and Wei Qian swallows dutifully. He doesn't hesitate and the water is such a balm to his parched throat he starts sucking at the straw harder.

“Slow down or you'll choke,” his lover commands and he complies, looking up at Yuan through his lashes.

“Ge...” Lili sobs pitifully and Wei Qian turns his eyes to her, wanting to wipe her tears away so badly.

“Everybody, leave. I’ll give you an update later,” Yuan instructs.

Lili opens her mouth to protest but San Pang shushes her while squeezing her shoulders tightly. “You know Xiao Yuan will take care of him. Let’s go home and make him some food for when he gets home. He’s going to need it.”

She hesitantly leaves with her own alpha, looking over her shoulder at her big brother until he’s completely out of sight.

Xiong Ge pats Yuan on the shoulder in solidarity before leaving. Dr. Lin closes the door behind him and now it’s just the three of them there. 

“Dr. Lin...” Yuan starts. “...repeat what you told me when I got here.”

Wei Qian never takes his eyes off his alpha, who is making him want to squirm with the intensity of his stare.

Dr. Lin clears his throat. He takes up the open folder on his desk and looks it over before speaking.

“The patient came in and passed out. We found out he had a fever, a sprained right index finger and bruises conducive with tumbling down a flight of stairs. He was foaming at the mouth and the foaming indicates an overdose so we had to pump his stomach of what turned out to be...,” Dr. Lin is dramatic as he flips the page he’s reading from. Then he continues. “...too much acetaminophen in his system. He overdosed on painkillers.”

Wei Qian never takes his eyes off Yuan while Dr. Lin is talking and Yuan’s intense stare never left him either. He can make out all the emotions on Yuan’s face; pain, anger and hurt.

“Luckily, the foetus is ok. I did an ultrasound and the baby’s developing heartbeat is present and strong.”

That’s when Wei Qian looks at the Doctor with wide eyes, then he looks back at Yuan who looks like he can murder somebody. He can actually feel it. 

“You’re pregnant...”

His alpha is really getting scary and dangerous.

“You’re pregnant with my baby and you tried to kill yourself...”

“No, Xiao Yuan. I...”

“SHUT UP!”

Wei Qian feels like his vocal chords are suddenly cut. He realises he’s not dealing with his little brother but with his alpha, who isn’t taking any shit from him. He’s never been afraid of his alpha before but right now he feels like he wants to hide under the bed and never come out. Xiao Yuan looks like he’s trying to keep calm and failing at it miserably.

He looks like he’s trying not to say what he wants to say to him.“Ok, you weren’t trying to kill yourself... then what happened?”

Wei Qian doesn’t know how to explain it. He lies there for almost a minute, trying to find the words but nothing comes to mind. His alpha is waiting on him to talk but he can’t. He wants to make him feel better but he can’t.

He’s useless.

“I’m waiting...”

“I didn’t feel well...I was trying to feel better.” 

“By tumbling down the stairs and overdosing on painkillers, right?”

The excuse sounded lame even to his own ears.

“I...”

“I'll tell you what happened...” Xiao Yuan cuts him off. His alpha sits on the bed, takes his hand not connected to the drip in both of his and holds it gently. His alpha smiles at him but it doesn't reach his eyes.

“You thought this baby will be better off without you, you wanted so badly to not be pregnant your mother managed to convince you everything you did today was for the best. Am I right?”

He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t have to.

“I thought we already went through this, I thought I’d gotten through to you when you had to do the surgery but obviously I failed...”

“Xiao Yuan, you didn’t...”

“Shut up and let me speak,” Xiao Yuan growls. 

He doesn’t say a word.

“I trusted you because I told you to stop hiding things from me but you’re still doing it. I told you before to not be afraid of the cracks because that is where you’ll see the light, but what I think you fail to understand is that you have to let me in also. Wei Qian, you will never be a burden no matter what it is. You will always do a good job because you’re the best person I know. You always do good and right by everybody around you. You’ll never be like your mother, you’re not her. This baby will have you and me, she will never be a part of the equation. Get her out of your head and don’t let her ruin us, please. I’m begging you, stay here with me and not in the past with her.”

Wei Qian’s heart feels full to bursting. This love, this man...he’s got the world and he almost ruined it. He nods, acknowledging and agreeing to everything Xiao Yuan said.

“I love you,” he whispers softly under his breath.

Xiao Yuan kisses him, soft and sweet and right.

After the kiss, he pulls back and takes a deep breath, still giving him the most loving look he can muster before speaking. “Now, there’s one other issue we need to really deal with. There’s only one way to fix this low self esteem issue you can’t seem to get over, Ge. Dr. Lin?”

”Yeah?” Dr. Lin answers.

“I need a good family therapist, get me one as soon as possible,” Yuan instructs. 

He’s still looking at Wei Qian while he talks and Wei Qian feels tears pooling in his eyes. He really needs the help, he knows that now.

“You’ve already proven you're the best nurturer with how you raised Lili and me. We turned out so good, you’ll be the most amazing parent, Ge, you’re the best. Please believe me. Now, for our baby’s and my sake, you need to put your mother to rest. Permanently. Ok?”

Xiao Yuan hugs him like his life depends on it, like he could open up his ribcage and take him in and Wei Qian is so grateful, so in love with this man that he raised, who loves him unconditionally and without limitations that he cries. He sobs into Xiao Yuan’s shirt so much he soaks the top rather quickly and he holds on for dear life. Holds on to the best thing that’s ever happened to him and the best thing that will ever be.

Ever.

Amen.