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Chapter Text

“Last season on Total Drama Island…” Chris began the recap, this time on a film set. Loveable glutton Owen and Lonely goth Gwen battled it out for $100,000. In the end, Owen, a super-sized guy, won a super-sized check. But decided to compete again one million big ones on top of his ! With the million smackeroos stuffed into a briefcase, our twenty-two campers set off on The Race for the Case! Until the case was eaten by an alligator. Then a shark. I bet you they didn't see that one coming. Haha. Now the seventeen who were the closest to winning have been given the chance to win another million dollars. Actually, it's the same money. They've been instructed to report to an old film lot for a whole new set of challenges. Forty-two days. Seventeen cast mates. One heck of a lot of cash! Welcome to Total. Drama. Action!” he finished the recap.

(Theme song, Changes: Eva and Tyler are there arm wrestling in the table where DJ and Chef were cooking the food and Noah is relaxing in the sun instead of Beth who is buried in the sand with her head sticking out. Courtney doesn’t appear until her debut.)

Cut to the entrance of a film lot when the bus carrying the seventeen contestants arrived. “Man, I miss the smell of the city.” Duncan said as she smelled the air and got off.

“Ah yes, polluted air, my favorite.” Noah sarcastically said as he got off as well.

“Woohoo! Who’s ready for season two!” Owen said as he jumped off the bus and accidentally landed on Noah, crushing him.

“Any air would be good now…” Noah complained while he was being sat on by Owen.

“Oops, sorry buddy.” Owen chuckled as he got off.

“Aye-aye-aye!” Izzy yelled as she jumped off the bus as well, crushing Noah.

“My spine can’t take any more of this!” Noah complained.

“Actually, your ribcage is more likely to be damaged by this.” Harold said while holding a rubix cube as he got out of the bus after Leshawna.

“Wow, did I ask?” Noah sarcastically replied as he got up and dusted off his sweater.

Heather, who was wearing a wig, and Gwen tried to exit at the same time but they got stuck in the doorway. “Step off.” Heather angrily told Gwen.

“You step off.” Gwen replied.

“Grr…” Heather and Gwen growled at each other.

“Shut up and get out of my way!” Eva said as she shoved the two off the bus while she got out of it, causing them to crash into Harold, knocking him into the ground.

“Ow! Sorry, Leshawna.” Harold apologized as he landed next to Leshawna.

“No harm done.” Leshawna replied. 

“Gwen! Are you okay?” Trent asked as he got off.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” Gwen said as she got up.

“Hey Eva! It’s so awesome that you’re here, now that all four of us are here, E-Scope's team will be unbeatable!” Izzy said.

“E-Scope’s team?” Eva questioned.

“Watch your temper, don’t want to be immediately booted again don’t you?” Noah warned.

“...Thanks for the advice. I’ve been working on that, I won’t be as upset unless someone really ticks me off.” Eva replied.

“Where is that psycho host? He’s still not here.” Leshawna asked.

“Uh, maybe we got off at the wrong stop?” Gwen replied.

“That broken down bus only had one stop.” Justin said as he got off.

“I'm not hanging around here.” Heather angrily replied.

“You're gonna give up the chance at a million big ones? Heh, that's a lot of hair weaves.” Leshawna mocked.

“Guess I can stay for a bit.” Heather said as she noticed her wig fell off and put it back on.

“Face it. The money's the reason we all put up with Chris.” Beth said as she got off.

“Beth, you got your braces off! Nice!” Trent said.

“I went to the dentist during the short break between seasons.” Beth replied.

“Hot as ever.” Justin said as he flirted with Beth but was then pulled away by Leshawna.

“You look fi-i-ine, girl!” Leshawna told Beth.

“You really do!” Gwen agreed.

“You are totally on your way to looking the part of my new BFF. That's my new best French friend. I am so moving to France when I win.” Lindsay said as she got off.

“My mom said my world would totally open up when I got my braces off! She was right! I'm going to France!” Beth said.

“Yay!” Lindsay and Beth squealed.

“Whoo!” Tyler said as he jumped off the bus and ended up falling into the ground.

“Aww, poor Tyson.” Lindsay said.

“Tyler! It’s Tyler!” Tyler said while laying on the ground.

Geoff and Bridgette got out of the bus while making out. “Don’t you guys get tired of doing that all the time? You kissed the entire time on the bus!” DJ said as he got off the bus while it left.

Suddenly Chris arrived in a tour cart. “Dude, it's about time!” Duncan said.

“Hop on, everyone! Come on, people! Sheesh, we haven't got all day! This cart's rented by the hour!” Chris said as everyone but Izzy got on. He drove the car away before Izzy got on.

Suddenly Owen noticed Izzy didn’t get on. “Izzy! Run!” Owen yelled as the cart rode away. Izzy heard him but didn’t respond.

“Remember what weird thing she wants to be called?” Noah told Owen.

“Oh! I mean Kaleidoscope!” Owen said.

“No one leaves E-Scope behind!” Izzy yelled, ran toward the bus and jumped in it.

“Welcome to the set of Total. Drama. Action! This season's hottest reality show will be shot here, on an abandoned film lot.” Chris said as they went around the film lot.

“Does this mean we're gonna be in the movies?” Lindsay asked.

“No. It means you're gonna be on TV. And don't interrupt me! Ever!” Chris replied and bopped Lindsay’s nose.

“Oops. Sorry.” Lindsay apologized.

“You'll be spending the next six weeks here, competing against each other in challenges, and for rewards. All for the chance to win some monster cash!” Chris continued explaining.

“Yeah, baby! I'm gonna win me some moolah!” Owen said as he excitedly rubbed his hands together.

“Shush! Like last season, one team will win, and one team will watch one of their own make their way down the dreaded Walk of Shame to the Lame-O-Sine.” Chris said as they passed by a limousine that spewed dust, making everyone but Chris, who closed the windows in his part, cough.

“Couldn't you have spun for a better ride?” Trent asked.

“No. Now, since we don't have the outhouse to dump your deepest darkest secrets in, you'll ditch the dirt in our new makeup confessional!” Chris replied.

Confessional: Lindsay

“Oh my gosh. A whole trailer full of makeup?! Oh, sorry, I don't use that brand.” Lindsay said as an intern offered her lipstick from behind the curtains.

“To your left is the Craft Services Tent. Catered by Chef.” Chris said as they arrived at a tent.

“Get back here you pesky rat!” Chef said as he chased a racoon out of the tent with a pan.

“If you survive Chef, you'll have to make it through our dramatic awards ceremony! Where all but one loser will receive a Gilded Chris Award!” Chris said as they passed by a giant award stage.

Confessional :Gwen

“The Gilded Chris? Ha. What a narcissist! Don't get me wrong, I still want one.” Gwen said.

“We done now, dude?” Geoff asked.

“I have an eject button. And I'll use it.” Chris replied.

“Please. Continue.” Geoff replied.

“Whoa. Cool. Is this a dream?” Harold said as they went into a space set.

“No, Harold! It is not! But you may soon wish it was. A few months ago, this lot was home to a high-budget monster movie. Until the star began experiencing some... ah, uh, difficulties?” Chris replied.

“Oh no. Did she have like, a mental breakdown?” Lindsay asked.

“Actually, the star wasn't a her. It was an animatronic monster!” Chris replied.

“What happened to it?” Gwen asked.

Confessional: Gwen

“In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have asked that question.” Gwen sighed.

“Come on, dudes. He's yanking our chains.” Duncan said as suddenly a giant tail slammed in front of them, blocking their path.

“Whoa!” Trent gasped.

“Dude!” Geoff said as DJ screamed.

“Since we're on a film lot, this season's challenges will be based on movie genres. Today's genre? The monster movie! Duh.” Chris said.

“Uh. Uh.” DJ said as he collapsed.

“Down for the count. For your first challenge, everyone must get from here to the cast trailers while our state-of-the-art monster prevents your every move. Chef has kindly offered to control the beast.” Chris said as Chef was shown controlling the monster with a mocap suit. “And... action!” he said but no one moved. “Uh... that means go.” Chris said as everyone started arguing in the bus.

“Me first!” Heather said as she tried to get out.

“Out of my way!” Trent said as he threw Heather away.

“Move already!” Eva said as she punched Trent.

“Hi-yah!” Harold said as he hit Eva with a karate chop.

“Move it or lose it!” Duncan said as he threw Harold outside the bus.

“Ah!” Harold said as he crashed into a garbage can outside.

“This is gonna be a long season.” Chris sighed as Harold ran past him.

Cut to everyone running in a beach. “Whoa, baby! Did you see that?! That thing is so cool!” Owen said.

“Don’t be distracted and run!” Noah told him.

Cut to DJ. “I can almost hear your sweet lullabies, mama.” DJ whined as Chris patted him.

“There, there, big guy. Now are you gonna do the challenge?” Chris asked.

“Huh? Oh right!” DJ said and ran away.

Cut to the beach when Owen and Noah saw the monster about to catch Izzy. “Izzy, duck! Duck!” Owen yelled.

“Goose!” Izzy yelled as the monster hit her, launching her into a crane. “Whee! Yeah! Haha. Do it again!” she laughed as Owen and Noah looked shocked. The monster caught her and dropped her into a bouncy house. “Whoo, yeah!” she laughed as she jumped on the bouncy house.

Confessional: Owen & Noah

“Maybe the monster won't look for us in here. I love Izzy. Not like "love" love. But I think she's amazing. I just wish she'd notice me and not that dumb monster. How can I compete with it?! Sure, we're both big and we both eat a lot. But it's really tall. What do you think I should do, little buddy?” Owen asked.

“Why are you asking me? Do I look like a romance expert? How should I know what you should do about your weird monster love triangle?” Noah asked.

Cut to Geoff and Bridgette kissing under an umbrella while Gwen and Trent passed by them “How are we supposed to find the actor's trailers anyway?” Gwen asked.

“Follow the good looking people!” Justin replied as he ran past.

“Yeah! Follow Justin!” Beth said as she followed Justin. Gwen and Trent shrugged and followed them.

“Um, I don't think this is the kind of action Chris had in mind.” Duncan said as he passed by and saw Geoff and Bridgette making out.

Confessional: Bridgette

“What was I thinking? Duncan is so right. I like Geoff, but hello, I also like a million bucks.”

Confessional: Geoff

“Duncan's right. It's time to get our heads in the game. Booyah!” 

Confessional: Geoff & Bridgette

Geoff and Bridgette were making out.

“Come on guys, get a move on!” Duncan said as he stopped Bridgette and Geoff from making out. However the monster caught all three as he did this.

“This is it. The end!” Bridgette yelled while being held by the monster alongside Geoff and Duncan.

“At least we’re together baby.” Geoff replied as the monster dropped them into the bouncy castle.

“I love you!” Bridgette yelled as she bounced.

“I love you too!” Geoff yelled back as he bounced.

“You two make me sick.” Duncan complained as he bounced

Confessional: Duncan

“Should’ve just left them.” Duncan sighed.

Cut to Gwen and Trent running in the city set. “This challenge isn't so bad. What, no explosions? No burning buildings? No bears?” Gwen asked.

“Maybe it's not in the budget.” Trent replied when suddenly a building exploded and another one burnt down, showing that a bear was in it.

“Ah!” Gwen and Trent yelled as they ran away while the bear chased them.

Cut to Chris and Chef in his mocap suit in a security room. “I thought the bear was tranquilized and returned to its handler.” Chris told Chef.

“Had one day left on its contract.” Chef replied.

“Nice!” Chris chuckled.

Cut to the city set where Tyler was running. “Okay, big monster chasing me, I can do this.” Tyler said to himself but was distracted and ran into a building.

“Wow. Just wow.” Chef said in the control room as he made the monster grab him and drop him into the bouncy house.

Cut to Leshawna running on the beach when she suddenly saw Harold hiding under an umbrella. “Come on, string bean! I hope you can run! We've got a challenge to win!” Leshawna said as she pulled Harold out of the umbrella and the two started running.

“If I wanted to, I could run as fast as a prong-horned antelope. It's the fastest land mammal after the cheetah.” Harold replies when suddenly the monster roared at them, blowing them into the ground as the monster caught them.

“Easy now! This booty is breakable!” Leshawna told the monster as it dropped them into the bouncy castle.

“I love you!” Harold said as he bounced.

“Say what now?” Leshawna asked as she bounced.

Cut to Trent and Gwen running when they saw the monster and turned around and ran the opposite direction. Justin was running as well but didn’t notice the monster, allowing him to be caught. “Yo.” Justin told the monster while being held by it as it looked charmed.

“What? Wouldn’t wanna ruin the kid’s dreams.” Chef told Chris in the security room.

Confessional: Justin

“I’m not just another gorgeous face. and abs, and butt, and shoulders, okay? I'm also a master strategist. And this year, I'm in it to win it.” Justin explained.

Cut to the monster putting Justin in the bouncy castle softly while he gave a thumbs up. “What are you all staring at?” Justin asked when he saw Leshawna, Tyler, Bridgette and Geoff looking at him.

“You.” They all replied.

“Oh. Right.” Justin chuckled.

Cut to Heather running away from the monster in the city set while holding her wig in place. “You tell her, we don't like her!” Lindsay clapped as she popped out of a bush, however the monster caught her alongside Heather due to this.

“I'll miss you, Lindsay!” Beth said as she came to the city set while Lindsay waved at her as she was being held at the monster.

“Ahh!” Lindsay grunted as the monster dropped her and Heather into the cage.

“Excuse me! I think you forgot something!” Heather yelled as she noticed her wig was gone. The monster replied by dropping her wig into the castle. “That's better.” she said as she put it on.

Cut to Beth, DJ, Eva, Gwen and Trent running away from the monster in the city set while screaming. “Everyone, follow me!” Trent said as he opened a door to a building while Beth, Eva and Gwen went in.

Confessional: Gwen

“That's what makes Trent such a great boyfriend. He’s always thinking of others. It's one of the things I love about him.” Gwen said.

“Ah! Monster’s coming near!” DJ said, too scared to move.

“It's okay, big guy. I got you.” Trent said as he pulled DJ into the door while he went in himself and closed it. “Oof! You mean, everything around here is fake?” Trent said as they saw they weren’t in a building and it was just cardboard.

Confessional: Gwen

“That and Trent's exceptional powers of observation.” Gwen said.

The monster roared and picked all five up as Gwen screamed. “I’m comin', Lindsay!” Beth yelled as it dropped them into the bouncy castle.

“I'm here for you, babe!” Trent said as he bounced.

Meanwhile, back at the cardboard building, Noah and Owen were hiding under a cardboard car. “Heh, suckers.” Noah chuckled.

“Boy, am I ever glad I'm not them.” Owen said when they suddenly looked up to see the monster glaring at them. “I'm gonna die!” he yelled as the monster extended itss hand toward him and Noah.

Cut to after some time. Owen was still under the car but Noah wasn’t there. “Ah! Ah! Ahh! I'm okay? I'm okay! Yeah, baby! Time to find those cast trailers!” Owen said and tried to run but couldn’t due to exhaustion. “Aw. I can't... run… any… more. Take… me... I surr… ender.” he said as he saw the monster and collapsed.

“Kid really needs to lay off those cheese puffs.” Chef said in the control room as he made the monster grab Owen. However, he was too heavy and the monster couldn’t carry him.

“Huh?” Owen said as the monster started glitching.

Confessional: Owen

“Boy, am I ever glad that I didn't go on that diet! Being big can really have its advantages. You know, like, when you're trying not to uh, uh, be captured by an animatronic monster, for example. That's just off the top of my head.” Owen chuckled.

“Come on... come on!” Chef struggled in the control room trying to lift Owen but couldn’t and ended up dropping him.

“Yes! I'm too heavy! I win! I win!” Owen said as he grabbed his belly.

“Not yet, Owen, my man. You still have to find the trailers.” Chris said as he came.

“Aw, man.” Owen sighed and started walking.

Cut to the next day when everyone was asleep, still in the bouncy castle when Chris woke them up with a megaphone as Owen came to the bouncy castle. “Oh…” Owen said as he collapsed. 

“It took you ten and a half hours to walk three city blocks?” Eva asked.

“That's just sad, man.” DJ said as Owen pulled out a needle and popped the castle, freeing them.

“How come no one thought of doing that last night?” Duncan asked.

“Wait. Where's Izzy?” Leshawna asked as suddenly the monster came and put her into the ground while accidentally stepping on a trailer.

“Thanks for the date, baby! Don't ever leave me! 'Cause I'd find you.” Izzy said as the monster left while Owen looked jealous.

“How did you manage to escape?” Duncan asked.

“Monster and I had a romantic date. He doesn't take no for an answer. Mhm. Pretty crazy. I can't even tell you guys.” Izzy replied.

“Was it a date or something else that also doesn’t make sense?” Noah asked.

“Whoa. Am I ever glad I chose to wait in that trailer. It looks like you all made it. Guess I lose the bet. That was just a warmup. Good news is, your next challenge is a reward.” Chris said as he came out of the trailer that was not crushed while everyone cheered at the challenge being a reward. “It will be the boys against the girls, with the winner getting the first pick of the trailers, where you'll be living for the next forty-two days! You will have your choice of Trailer A, or Trailer... yeesh. Off to the Craft Services Tent!” he continued explaining.

“Aw, yeah, baby! I'm starving!” Owen cheered.

“I mean, we didn’t eat anything after breakfast the entire day due to being stuck in the bouncy castle so for once that makes sense.” Noah sarcastically said.

Confessional: Owen & Noah

“My mom says I eat when I'm upset. And happy. And tired. Not to mention bored, gassy, morose, joyous, comatose, semi-conscious, avuncular. Avuncular.” Owen chuckled as he randomly grew a beard.

“Just say I eat all the time.” Noah said as Owen chuckled.

Cut to inside the craft services tent where a giant buffet was on the table. “Woohoo! This is awesome!” Owen cheered.

“This chow looks like something out of a commercial!” Geoff said.

“Ooh, can I star?” Lindsay asked.

“It’s not an existing commercial, brainiac.” Noah sarcastically said.

“Let's get this speed-eating contest started! On your marks, get set, come to papa!” Owen said as he jumped on the table and started eating the buffet.

“No, wait!” Chris yelled as Owen ate the food.

“Oh! Is this veal? It must be veal! I've never tasted anything like this!” Owen said as he ate the food.

Cut to after Owen finished all the food. “Owen, my man of many appetites. How was it?” Chris asked as Owen laid on the table.

“The turkey was a bit... dry.” Owen said.

“Not surprising, since the food was fake!” Chris replied.

“Fake?” Owen asked.

“Yep, just props made from foam core, silicone, sawdust, and wax. It wasn't a speed-eating contest. It was a contest to find the key.” Chris said.

“What key? Oh, you mean this key?” Owen asked as he spat out the key.

“That'd be the one.” Chris said.

“Does this mean I win?!” Owen asked.

“Yes. Yes, it does.” Chris replied.

“All right!” Owen cheered.

Confessional: Duncan

“Did you see that? The dude ate foam core and wax! Full props for that, man.” Duncan laughed.

Confessional: Noah

“Wow. Just wow. I don’t know whether to be impressed or to be concerned.” Noah said.

Confessional: Geoff

“Way to find the key, dude! I used to think Owen was just some party dude, but he's really a stand-up guy. Party on!” Geoff cheered.

Confessional: Harold

“I could've done that, you know. I just wasn't hungry.” Harold said.

Confessional: Leshawna

“Know what that boy has? Guts. Guts full of foam core and rubber. But guts just the same.”

Confessional: Owen

“Oh wait, wait, wait. There's still one more.” Owen said as he spat out a piece of foam.

Cut to Chef offering medicine to Owen. “Guh, ugh... Oh, don't worry. I'm cool. Hahaha. My mom says I've got a gut like a goat.” Owen said when his stomach suddenly started rumbling. “Nope. Call 911.” he said as he heard his stomach.

“You're gonna need it. Since you're the winner, you get first pick of the trailers.” Chris said as the guys cheered while the girls sighed.

Cut to everyone in front of the trailers. “I choose the squashed one!” Owen said as the guys complained while the girls cheered. “What? It has more character.” he explained as the monster stepped on the other trailer.

“Aw…” The girls sighed.

Meanwhile in the security room Chef was controlling the monster while Chris was next to him. “Oh!” Chris chuckled as he laughed with Chef.

Confessional: Izzy

“Ha, I am so over that monster.” Izzy said.

Cut to the night as everyone entered the now fixed trailers. “Okay, everyone! Get a good night's sleep because you've got a seriously early wake-up call. Call time is six a.m. Sleep quickly!” Chris said.

Cut to the guys trailer. “I'll take the top.” Harold said as he chose a bed.

“I call the bottom.” Geoff said as he took a bed as well.

“Mine.” Trent and Tyler said as they pointed at some beds.

“I take top, you take bottom.” Noah said as he chose beds for himself and Owen.

“Yes sir!” Owen replied.

“I’ll take the top.” DJ said as he chose a bed.

“Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.” Duncan said as he laid on a bed.

“Nice, I get a bunk to myself.” Justin said as he chose a bed.

Cut to the girls trailer. “I need to sleep on the east side so my head will be closer to the ocean.” Heather said.

“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. We're in Toronto. We're nowhere near the ocean.” Leshawna replied.

“Then maybe I don't wanna lay my pretty head near this big-butted, loudmouthed, mall-shopping–” Heather began to insult but was then interrupted.

“And maybe I don't wanna sleep near a two-faced, bossy little string bean of a prom queen!” Leshawna angrily said.

“Girls! You heard Chris, we need to be on set by six a.m.?” Bridgette said.

“Worried we might cut into your early morning make out session?” Leshawna mocked as she imitated Bridgette and Geoff’s kissing.

“Yes! Kind of. Gwen? Eva?” Bridgette asked.

“No way.” Gwen said.

“Leave me out of this.” Eva said.

“Heather's meanness might leech down while I'm sleeping.” Lindsay said.

“Is meanness contagious?” Beth gasped.

“Totally. Besides, I'm bunking with my new BFF. My Beth friend forever.” Lindsay said.

“Aww.” Beth awed.

“Fine. We'll draw straws.” Bridgette said.

“Who's got straws?” Leshawna asked.

“We can use makeup brushes instead!” Lindsay said as Beth went to get some.

“That's actually a good idea.” Gwen said.

“Longer ones get the top bunks. Shorter ones, the bottom. Shortest of all gets to sleep with Heather.” Beth said as she came with some brushes as Heather growled at her while everyone took some brushes except her.

“Yes! Top bunk!” Lindsay said as she looked at her brush.

“I got bottom! I call Lindsay.” Beth said.

“I call Beth right back!” Lindsay said as they ran to a bed.

“I got bottom. Gwen?” Bridgette asked.

“I got top. Sure.” Gwen said as they chose a bed.

“I got bottom.” Eva said.

“I'm a top!” Izzy said as they chose a bed.

“Ugh, I got the shortest?” Leshawna said as she looked at her brush.

“You mean, I get to sleep with Leshawna? Wow. Great.” Heather sighed.

“Hey, I’m not excited about this either.” Leshawna said.

“Yeah, sorry about this.” Gwen apologized to Leshawna.

“Ugh.” Heather complained as they chose a bed.

Cut to outside the trailers. “Shh. They're sleeping. This is your five a.m. wake up call!” Chris said as he popped up behind a trailer and woke everyone up with his megaphone. “I'm only kidding. You can sleep. For now.” he said as everyone complained. “That's a wrap on day one. How will Owen fare with a stomach full of foam core and sawdust? What will tomorrow hold for Gwen and Trent? Who knows what drama is in store for our cast? Well, I do. But I ain't tellin'. See you next time for another thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action! McLean out.” he finished the episode as the monster roared. “Can someone please put a wrap on that monster?!” he complained as the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Justin’s Confessional

Confessional: Justin

“Last year, I wasn't really a contender. But this year? This year will be different. I may be a pretty boy on the outside, but in here, there's a man filled with rage who's in this thing to win, and mark my words, I will stop at nothing. So no one better stand in my way 'cause I will make sure they don't... uh, stand in my way for long! Well, unless my face gets horribly disfigured again, since if that happens I can’t stay any longer, my modeling contract is important. M'kay? Ah. Perfection.” Justin said as an intern handed a mirror to him from behind the curtain and he looked at himself with it.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap. “Seventeen teenagers. One engaging host. A dilapidated film lot. And a whole lot of coin. Ka-ching! Oh, and did I mention a remote controlled monster? I love this show. Some fared better than others. Owen ran for his life, but didn't make it very far. Until he chowed down on fake food props and scored the reward, first pick of the cast trailers. Shockingly, Owen picked the wrong one. The girl's hopes of victory were crushed, along with their new digs. Who will be one step closer to the million bucks? Find out on another thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the craft services tent where Chef was serving eggs. “Keep the line movin', lovebirds.” Duncan told Geoff and Bridgette who weren’t moving. They moved when he said this but did not stop kissing.

“More eggs and bacon for me. Keep it comin', Chef.” DJ told Chef.

“Real men don’t eat soft stuff like eggs! They eat this.” Chef said and dropped a piece of cheese that was as hard as bricks.

“Uh, alright?” DJ said while confused and left.

“Forgot how hungry I got last year eating on Chris' wrecked schedule.” Duncan said.

“I know! Got to the point where I'd kill for Chef's disgusting food. No offense, Chef.” Gwen told Chef.

“None taken.” Chef replied and dumped the eggs on her head.

“You can have my burnt toast, big mouth.” Duncan said.

“Judging from that gut, I thought you'd be all over the extra carbs.” Gwen replied.

“Nice.” Duncan chuckled.

“You can have my toast, Gwen.” Trent told Gwen.

“Thanks, but I can't take enemy toast.” Gwen replied.

“Enemies? We're not enemies.” Trent said.

“In this game, we're all enemies.” Duncan replied.

“Except for me and Gwen. I'll always have her back, no matter what.” Trent said.

“Right back at you, babe.” Gwen replied.

“I'll remind you two of that when the money's being divided up.” Duncan said as he left.

Cut to Izzy covering her eggs in ketchup. “That is so wrong.” Lindsay said.

“So wrong.” Beth agreed.

“In battle, we put ketchup on everything. Covers the taste of mortar.” Izzy replied and left.

“My new nail polish is mortar. Isn't it hot?” Lindsay asked as she showed Beth her nails.

“Gray is so totally your color.” Beth agreed.

“Ugh. No eggs and bacon for me, Chef. I'll just have this Nice bowl of... prunes.” Owen said as he took a bowl of prunes which made everyone gasp.

“Uh, are you alright big guy? Do you have a fever or anything?” Noah asked.

“What?” Owen replied in shock.

Confessional: Owen & Noah

My, uh, plumbing's been clogged ever since I ate all those fake food props. Pressure buildup's been killing me! Aw... c'mon, colon. Don't fail me now! Oh, I hear bells!” Owen said as his stomach rumbled.

“Please don’t fart, burp, or puke when I’m here.” Noah said as he covered his nose.

“Welcome to day two of Total. Drama. Action!” Chris announced as he entered the tent.

“Are you gonna do that every time?” Duncan asked.

“Yes. Yes, I will.” Chris replied.

“All right then.” Duncan shrugged and ate a burnt toast.

“Today's movie genre: Aliens! Our unpaid interns have been hard at work figuring out what makes an alien movie successful. Chef?” Chris asked.

“You got three basic rules. Aliens wanna take over the world and start making lots of baby aliens, people fight back, then the military's called in. Yo, Chris! Where's my paycheck at?!” Chef angrily asked.

“It's in the mail.” Chris replied.

“I know where the dang paycheck comes to, but it still hasn’t come yet!” Chef yelled.

“Today's challenge, find an alien egg and return to home base before Mama Alien finds you. The two fastest get to pick the teams this season.” Chris ignored him as Chef glared at him.

“Sorry, losers, but no one knows alien movies the way I do. The more obscure, the better.” Duncan said.

“I watched a lot of alien movies. I’ve see-” Harold tried to say but was interrupted.

“Shut up dork, no one cares.” Duncan said.

“"I'm gonna blend up those no-good aliens, and have them for breakfast!"” Gwen recited a quote from a movie.

“Alien Chunks, around the half hour mark.” Noah said the movie name.

“Dude, Alien Chunks is my favorite alien movie of all time!” Duncan said.

“Me too! I've seen it twenty-seven times!” Gwen said.

“Fifty-three.” Duncan said.

“You'll be tough to beat. But I have my lucky charm.” Gwen said. 

Confessional: Gwen

“I love the scene in Alien Chunks where they turn the aliens into fruity blended drinks. I even have the necklace.” Gwen said as she showed a necklace.

“I like that movie where the aliens take over the government. "Take me to your leader."” Trent said as he imitated a robot while quoting a movie.

“Humans vs. Aliens? Seriously?” Noah chuckled.

“Oh, dude, you are so going down. Even the grumpy dork has better taste in movies then you!” Duncan laughed.

“I bet I watched way more movies than you did, especially since you probably spent most of your time in juvie.” Noah said.

“Oh come on, I thought it was a good movie!” Trent said.

“Uh… I didn’t think it was that bad either? Maybe I can show you some more alien movies later, Trent.” Gwen tried to defend Trent.

“Cool.” Trent replied.

“Yo, Chris! You got some laser-shooting monster playing Mama Alien?” DJ asked Chris.

“Not quite.” Chris replied.

“I better get my paycheck doubled for this.” Chef said as he came with an alien suit.

“You call that slime? Makeup! More slime over here!” Chris said.

“I hate my life.” Chef complained as slime was dropped on him from the roof.

“Here are your GPS devices, complete with maps of the film lot. Find the alien eggs, but be careful. 'Cause today, you're all on Chef's menu.”  Chris explained as he gave them all GPS’s while Chef chuckled.

Cut to everyone in the alien set. “Hey, follow me! I know aliens! Uh-huh. I've been abducted loads of times. There's a tracking device in my neck, see?” Izzy said as she pointed at her neck, showing a tiny chip.

“Does it hurt?” Harold asked.

“Only when I hiccup. Ow!” Izzy said as she hiccupped.

“How did you even get abducted?” Eva asked.

“Well, I sent messages by writing insults at them on some grass. They saw it from their UFO’s and were pretty mad.” Izzy explained.

Confessional: Noah

“On the one hand, that sounds impossible. On the other hand, it’s Izzy. You never know what to expect with her.” Noah said.

“Can you feel that? It's like there's something in there cold as ice, with no soul!” Leshawna said as she looked at a door.

Cut to behind the door. “Thanks. Now take that!” Chris said in a security room as he pressed a button.

Cut to outside the door when some steam was released which scared everyone and made Harold jump into Leshawna’s arms.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I have already told that skinny little tadpole that things between us aren't meant to be. Guess he can't get over the lusciousness that is Leshawna.” Leshawna said.

Confessional: Harold

“I'm pretty sure Leshawna isn't over me yet. I see the way she looks at me. Like she's un-pantsing me with her eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. Like chocolate almond-- ooh!” Harold gasped.

“How come we're the only dots on the screen? Where's Chef?” Heather asked as he looked at her GPS.

“How did you get in our group?” Justin asked.

“There are no groups yet dumbass. Plus, there is only one way we can go.” Heather replied.

Confessional: Beth & Lindsay

“Even though Heather can be really mean, that doesn't mean we should be mean back, right? Buddha says, "You can lead a sheep to water, but you can't make it nice."” Beth said.

“That is so deep!” Lindsay gasped.

As they passed by a wall, they heard some weird noises. “Shh!” Gwen said as she stopped everyone when Owen suddenly farted.

“Aww, man! I think a really big one is coming!” Owen said as he held is stomach.

“Dude, be quiet!” Noah scolded.

“Heh, sorry.” Owen chuckled.

“What is that noise?” Trent asked while everyone looked at Beth.

“Ever since I got my braces off, I don't make that sound anymore!” Beth said.

“Chris! Is that you?” Leshawna asked.

“I get blamed for everything.” Chris said from the control room.

“It must be Chef. You wanna run or you wanna kick some alien butt?” Duncan asked Gwen.

“Let's kick some alien butt!” Gwen replied.

“Can I say something?” Trent asked.

“Sure Trent! Any thoughts?” Gwen asked.

“Yeah, let's kick some alien butt!” Trent replied.

“You just repeated what we already said.” Noah said.

“I’m not good at coming up with plans, okay?” Trent replied.

“So, who wants to go first?” Harold asked.

“No way am I going!” Tyler said.

“Uh, please, please, after you.” Leshawna told DJ.

“After you. I insist.” DJ replied.

“Don't worry, Izzy. I'll protect you. Wha, oh!” Owen said as Izzy slammed her into the ground.

“Heh. It's Kaleidoscope. E-Scope for short.” Izzy replied.

“Yes, sir, E-Scope, sir!” Owen saluted while laying on the ground.

“I don’t think she needs your protection.” Eva said.

“Okay. Let's do this. Mama! If you're listening, you can have my limited edition Raptor's draft cards, they’re in the top shelf of the cupboard in my room! They're worth some serious money!” DJ said to the screen.

“I didn't suffer through eight years of braces, headgear, saliva spittle and the ridicule of my peers so I could hide from life!” Beth said as she started walking toward the back of the wall.

“You go, girl!” Leshawna cheered.

“Show those alien’s who’s boss!” Eva agreed.

“Watch out, alien Chef, 'cause here comes Beth! Oh! It's just Bridgette and Geoff!” Beth said as she looked behind the wall to see Geoff and Bridgette kissing.

“Oh, nice. Don't you two ever get sick of sucking face?” Duncan asked while they continued kissing.

“I'm guessing that's a no.” Owen said.

“Well, that was completely pointless.” Noah said.

“Enough messing around. We've got alien eggs to capture.” Gwen said.

Confessional: Gwen

“I wasn't worried about Chef. Alien costume or not. I mean, I did place second last year, I know exactly what I'm doing.” Gwen said.

“Good thing we're all lined up in a row, huh?” Gwen said as she heard her GPS beep.

“Yeah. Ready for Chef to pick us off one at a time.” Trent replied.

“We're really gotta work on our strategizing.” Noah said.

“Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger!” The GPS’s suddenly started beeping.

“Let's get out of here!” Heather said.

“Which way do we go?” Justin asked.

“North is nice, but east is least, west is best!” Lindsay said as she went west.

“Can't argue with that. Wouldn't even know how to!” Leshawna said as she followed her alongside Beth, Justin and Tyler.

“Map says the boiler room's east of here.” Gwen said.

“Alien eggs are always in the boiler room.” Duncan said.

“Uh, yeah, totally. East it is!” Trent agreed.

“Then let’s get a move on!” DJ said as he went east alongside Eva, Trent and Gwen while Geoff and Bridgette tried to follow them.

“Where do you think you're going?” Duncan asked as he stopped them.

“With you, to the boiler room.” Bridgette replied.

“Sorry, but the lovebirds are on their own.” Duncan replied.

“Huh?” Geoff said in shock as Bridgette gasped while Duncan went east.

Confessional: Duncan

“In any alien flick, the kissing couple's always the first to go. There's no way Romeo and Juliet are gonna ruin my chances at a million big ones. Uh-uh. Not to mention how they screwed me over in the last challenge.” Duncan said.

“This is it baby, better make it good!” Geoff said.

“Aww, that is so sweet! We’ll go on our own, we don’t need anyone else!” Bridgette said as she and Geoff left while holding hands.

“Everyone, snap out of it! If it we don't bring it together, we are gonna lose this challenge! Now who is with me?” Heather asked Owen, Noah, Harold and Izzy.

“Ah, it's hard to say. Um, does being "with you" imply some sort of an alliance?” Owen asked.

“Because we do not like you.” Noah said.

“Yeah, like, not at all.” Izzy agreed.

“Okay. Okay. Forget being with me. Who's willing to walk beside me in mutual pursuit of our goals, with no commitment of any kind?” Heather asked.

“I can agree to that.” Owen said.

“Whatever.” Noah shrugged.

“Fun!” Izzy clapped.

“Count me in. Did anyone else hear that?” Harold asked as Chef fell behind him from the roof.

Confessional: Harold

“I may not be the best looking guy, or the best dressed, or the most buff. But I get picked on a lot. So my senses are totally heightened. I can sense when something's coming. Nothing gets by me.” Harold said as he looked around like a ninja.

Chef touched Harold’s shoulder, making him turn around. “Say hello to eternity.” Chef said as he shot Harold in the chest with a slime paintball gun.

“I'm hit! I'm hit!” Harold said from the ground while Owen’s stomach grumbled.

“Uh! It's time! Take me out! I beg you! It's an emergency!” Owen told Chef.

“Uh… alright?” Chef said as he lightly shot him in the chest.

“Oh, thank you! Thank you! Make way! Coming through!” Owen said as he ran away, passing by Bridgette and Geoff.

Confessional: Owen

Aw, man. I didn't think I was gonna make it. Haha. But these bowels never let me down. Great job, guys! Oh! Haha. I think there's more. Coming through!” Owen said and ran away as his stomach rumbled.

Chef chuckled as he approached Izzy, Heather and Noah.

“I am not going down without a fight, you glorified dung beetle lizard whatever!” Heather said as she hid behind Izzy.

“Try to beat me if you can or whatever.” Noah rolled his eyes while he hid behind Izzy.

“One of us isn't getting out of here clean! Haha!” Izzy said as she pulled out a big paintball gun.

“You call that a paintball gun? This is a paintball gun!” Chef said as he pulled out a bigger gun.

“Fun! I love this game!” Izzy said as she pulled out an even bigger gun.

“Okay. Well, we’ll just let you two have at it.” Heather said as she ran away with Noah.

“If I can handle hand-to-paw combat with a polar bear, haha, I can handle a bald, emotionally withdrawn cook in a Halloween costume.” Izzy told Chef.

“Who are you calling a cook?!” Chef angrily said as they shot multiple paintballs at each other which they dodged. Chef shot again after and managed to hit Izzy in the chest.

“No!” Izzy yelled as she fell into the ground.

“Uh-oh. Not again.” Chef said as he saw Izzy laying in the ground motionless with her eyes closed.

“Psyche! Got you good!” Izzy said as she jumped up and started laughing.

“I thought you were dead!” Chef chuckled.

“Yeah. I get that a lot. Okay.” Izzy laughed as Chef.

“Well I’m gonna hunt some more campers. You know anyone’s hiding spot?” Chef asked.

“Yeah, Bridgette and Geoff went that way.” Izzy said as she pointed at the direction Bridgette and Geoff went.

“Thanks.” Chef said and left toward that way.

“What was that?! Where are the guts? The gore?! I'll fix it. I really should wear camo more often.” Chris said in the security room as he put on a hunter hat and left the room.

Cut to Chef walking behind Geoff and Bridgette as they held hands.

“Uh babe, do you hear something?” Geoff asked as they heard Chef’s footsteps.

“Must be Chris trying to trick us.” Bridgette said when suddenly they were shot from their backs by Chef.

“I once knew a love like that.” Chef said to himself and continued walking past them.

“Ugh, I guess we lost.” Bridgette said on the ground.

“On the bonus side that just means we can make out without being worried..” Geoff said as they started kissing.

Cut to Gwen, Trent, Duncan, Eva and DJ arriving in the boiler room as they saw some eggs in a pit.

“Hey, the eggs are over there!” DJ said as he pointed at the eggs.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Eva said as they rushed toward the eggs.

Cut to Noah and Heather walking in the halls. “Ugh, where are these stupid eggs? Also, this set is really inaccurate, the UFO room shouldn’t be in a tight hallway.” Heather complained.

“I didn’t know you were so into alien movies.” Noah said.

“I’m not. My family forced me into seeing one.” Heather quickly tried to cover up her mistake.

“Uh huh… sure.” Noah said when they suddenly saw Chef running behind then and started running away while screaming.

“Take him!” Heather yelled as she pushed Noah into the ground and ran away.

“Seriously!?” Noah said as Chef shot him and ran past him to chase Heather.

“This is for last season when you put laxatives in my brownies! The only thing that should give people the runs is my undercooked meat!” Chris said as he shot Heather, knocking off her wig.

“Ahh! My wig! No! Don't look at me!” Heather said as she jumped to the ground to get her wig before it fell through the grates and failed.

Confessional: Heather

“Ever since my head was shaved last season, my hair is growing in all patchy and uneven. I've tried everything. Lotions, lasers, traditional Burmese medicine. Gah! Loser shaman!” Heather said as she drank something from a teacup.

Cut to Lindsay, Justin, Beth, Leshawna and Tyler in a room. “How did we get here?” Lindsay asked.

“Hah. If we knew, we wouldn't be lost.” Justin replied.

“Be more supportive!” Tyler angrily said.

“You are so smart, Justin. And gorgeous.” Lindsay complimented.

“What a knockout!” Leshawna agreed.

“Totally gorgeous!” Beth agreed.

“I hate to be the bearer of big bad alien news, but I think this may be a trap.” Tyler said as the door shut down, locking them in.

Cut to Chef outside. “We gotta hire an effects crew.” Chef chuckled, opening a hose that made it drop slime onto Lindsay, Justin, Beth, Leshawna and Tyler from the ceiling.

“Gross!” Beth complained.

“Ooh, grody!” Lindsay complained.

“Ooh, feels so good!” Justin said as he rubbed the slime onto himself.

“Looks even better.” Beth complimented.

Confessional: Beth

“You know what? Models are people too. We stare at them, but they've got feelings just like the rest of us. They've got hopes and dreams. My dream is to marry Justin. My mom says that if I concentrate really hard, one day, all of my dreams will come true!” Beth said.

Cut to the boiler room. “Wow. They look so real.” Trent said as he looked at the eggs.

“Woohoo, we won! Yeah!” DJ cheered.

“Not so fast, big guy. We still have to get the eggs back to home base.” Duncan said.

“Quick, lower me down!” Gwen said as the GPS beeped, showing Chef was nearby.

Eva lowered Gwen into the pit as she got an egg but accidentally broke it, covering her hands in slime. “Ugh. Ever heard of plastic props?!” Gwen complained as she took another egg.

Cut to after Gwen got five eggs. “Alright, now let’s get going before-” DJ tried to say but then the door was suddenly opened by Chef.

“Let’s get going before what?” Chef asked as he readied his gun.

“Ahh!” DJ yelled when he saw him.

“I’m not going without a fight!” Eva said and tried to wrestle the paintball gun out of Chef’s hands.

“Nice try.” Chef said as he managed to out wrestle Eva and shot her.

“Can’t we talk about this over a nice piece of rock hard cheese?” DJ asked as Chef shot and ran past him.

“Ahhhhh!” Chef yelled as he chased past Trent, Gwen and Duncan.

“Save yourselves!” DJ said as the three ignored him and ran out of the room while Chef chased them, upsetting him.

Cut to outside the alien set where Chef was cornering Gwen, Trent and Duncan while they held the alien eggs as suddenly Chris arrived on a helicopter.

“Attention, civilians! The military is here to protect you now! Unfortunately, we can't let you leave with any alien eggs.” Chris informed.

“But we're supposed to take the alien eggs! That's what you said!” Trent replied.

“Right! I did!” Chris laughed as he giant slime bomb.

“Incoming!” Duncan yelled as Gwen and Trent hid behind a rock. The slime bomb hit the ground and blew up, covering Chef and Duncan in slime.

“Whoo. Glad I don't have to clean it up.” Chris chuckled.

“Does this mean I'm out?” Duncan asked as Gwen and Trent got out of the rock.

“Too bad, so sad. More money for me.” Gwen replied.

“Ooh, down for the count.” Duncan laughed.

Confessional: Trent

“I don’t trust Duncan. I mean, the dude’s a criminal for crying out loud, can you blame me for not trusting him? I don’t like how close he’s gotten to Gwen, it just seems… suspicious, like he’s planning something bad. If he thinks he can hurt Gwen while I’m here, I’m gonna make him wish he was still in juvie! Or maybe I’m being paranoid.” Trent shrugged.

“Oh no. Our alien eggs.” Gwen said as she noticed they dropped their eggs. They noticed the eggs on a board on Chef’s back. However it looked like it was about to fall.

“I'm on it!” Duncan said and tried to go to get the egg.

“No, I'm on it!” Trent interrupted and went to get the egg.

“My necklace, it's gone!” Gwen suddenly said when she noticed her necklace was missing. Trent saw it about to fall through a sewer drain. He looked between the necklace and the eggs, indecisive about which one to pick. However he ended up picking the necklace.

“Gotcha.” Trent said as he got the necklace before it fell.

Confessional: Gwen

“I know this is gonna sound really girly. But I was seriously touched when Trent chose my necklace over the egg. Most guys would've gone for the win.” Gwen said.

“Pfft. Personally, I would've picked the win.” Duncan said.

“Of course you would.” Trent said as he walked by him and gave the necklace to Gwen.

“Whoa…” Chef grunted under the board as the egg fell off it and broke.

“Sorry about losing the egg.” Trent told Gwen.

“Thank you for saving my necklace. I want you to have it, for luck.” Gwen replied and gave him the necklace.

“Girl!” Duncan said to himself as he rolled his eyes.

“You three gave it a valiant effort. But you're still losers!” Chris said as he parachuted down the helicopter.

“Not so fast, Chris. Looks like my good luck charm is working already. Gwen, meet you at home base.” Trent said as he noticed two eggs behind Chef and got them before Chef could stop him.

“I'll catch you next time! Ooh!” Chef angrily said.

“Can't you do anything right?” Chris asked Chef.

“Where's my money?! Hm? Give me my money!” Chef angrily asked and shoved Chris into the ground.

Cut to Gwen, Trent and Duncan arriving in the trailers while everyone was also there. “We have our two winners. Our only two winners. The rest of you really stink. As our winners, Gwen and Trent will now be able to pick their teams, which means they'll be competing against each other this season.” Chris explained as Trent and Gwen gasped.

“Aw, dude. No!” Trent complained.

“Bet you didn't see that one comin'. After we vote off two cast members in the most thrilling Gilded Chris ceremony yet…” Chris said as everyone gasped. “Yes, you heard me. I said two. I'm liking the twos today. Must be Tuesday.” he continued as no one responded. “Yeah, I don't get paid to write this show.” he shrugged.

Cut to the award ceremony. Chris stood on the stage with a blue suit while everyone else sat on the sidelines. “It's time to cast your votes. Under your seats, you'll find your voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. Oh, and no peeking. Or it's… Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye!” Chris sang while DJ tried to look at who Harold voted and Harold hid his device while DJ chuckled. Chef got on the stage with a pink dress as everyone laughed which made him angry.

“Zip it! Surfer Couple, you kept making out the entire time which annoyed a lot of people!” Chris called out Geoff and Bridgette as they looked confused.

“Mean Girl, no one likes you.” Chef called out Heather who looked upset.

“Psycho Girls, you thought you could beat me in a fight! Guess who was wrong?” Chef called out Izzy and Eva who’s expressions didn’t change.

Everyone chose someone to eliminate with the devices. “The votes have been cast. If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now. And the Gilded Chrises go to... Trent. Gwen. Eva. Harold. Tyler. Duncan. And Izzy.” Chris said as he tossed everyone he mentioned a Chris award.

“E-Scope!” Izzy yelled.

“E-Scope. Lindsay, Justin, and Beth are also safe.” Chris said as he tossed the three awards.

“Yay!” Lindsay and Beth cheered as Justin and Beth caught their awards, however Lindsay couldn’t and was hit in the head with it.

“So is Owen! My man!” Chris said as he threw Owen a Chris award.

“Aww, thanks Chris. Haha. And thanks Chef, for doing what the prunes couldn't.” Owen said as he patted his stomach.

“Next is DJ. Noah. And Leshawna.” Chris said as he threw the three rewards. Geoff and Bridgette looked worried but Heather looked confident. “And last but not least

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Heather!” Chris said as he threw Heather an award.

“Hah! Yes!” Heather cheered as she got the award.

“But... but... I thought everyone liked us.” Bridgette asked.

“"Liked" being the operative word.” Duncan replied.

Confessional: Duncan

“I know exactly who's gonna get it this week.” Duncan said and imitated Geoff and Bridgette kissing.

Confessional: Lindsay

“Two words. Bridgette and Geoff.” Lindsay said.

Confessional: DJ

“Least they'll have each other.” DJ shrugged.

Confessional: Eva

“God, do they ever stop kissing? It’s pissing me off!” Eva angrily said.

“Any final words?” Chris asked. Geoff and Bridgette replied by kissing.

“Cutest couple ever!” Lindsay awed.

“Just stop it!” Eva angrily yelled.

“Seriously guys?” DJ facepalmed.

“Get a room already!” Duncan angrily said.

Cut to Geoff and Bridgette falling into the Lame-O-Sine while kissing. “Who will Gwen and Trent pick for their teams? Will Izzy ever answer to her actual name? Will Owen finally get some lunch?” Chris asked.

“Thank you!” Owen yelled from the stage.

“Tune in next time for another exciting episode of... Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the episode.

VOTES

Confessional: Trent

“I wouldn’t do this if I ever saw them not kissing for a minute. I vote Bridgette I guess.” Trent said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Gwen

“Sorry guys, you’re just… being really annoying. I vote Bridgette.” Gwen said as she chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Duncan

“I actually like Geoff so… bye surfer girl.” Duncan said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: DJ

“I like them but… yeah they are really the only option here. Sorry Bridge.” DJ said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Eva

“They are so annoying. I guess I vote Geoff since he made it farther last time, he’s a bigger threat.” Eva said as she chose to eliminate Geoff on the device.

Confessional: Lindsay.

“Sorry Brittany, Jeff’s more fun to hang out with.” Lindsay said as she chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Beth

“Geoff. I can’t believe that horrible noise was them kissing!” Beth said as she chose to eliminate Geoff on the device.

Confessional: Justin

“Well, both the surfers seem attracted to me so sadly I can’t just easily vote one off. I guess Geoff, girls are easier to charm.” Justin said as he chose to eliminate Geoff on the device.

Confessional: Leshawna

“You two really gotta stop sucking face so much.” Leshawna said as she chose to eliminate Geoff on the device.

Confessional: Tyler

“I vote Bridgette!” Tyler said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Heather

“Thanks for not making me the obvious choice here.” Heather said as she chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Noah

“Why does it matter which one it is? Geoff I guess.” Noah said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Geoff

“No way Heather survives this after last season.” Geoff said as he chose to eliminate Heather on the device.

Confessional: Bridgette

“Heather’s mean, plain and simple.” Bridgette said as she chose to eliminate Heather on the device.

Confessional: Izzy

“Wow. They kiss a lot! E-Scope votes Bridgette since Geoff is more fun.” Izzy said as she chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Owen

“Sorry guys, but you do kiss a lot. Geoff is great at parties though, so sorry Bridgette.” Owen said as he chose to eliminate Bridgette on the device.

Confessional: Harold

“I vote Geoff. Gosh, those two are annoying.” Harold said as he chose to eliminate Geoff on the device.

BONUS CLIP

Bridgette and Geoff’s Lame-O-Sine Ride

“Who gets kicked off a show for making out anyway?” Geoff complained.

“It's not like we weren't serious about the game. We so, so were. Weren't we?” Bridgette agreed.

“Yeah. Well, money isn't everything.” Geoff said.

“Says who?” Bridgette asked.

“Money doesn't bring happiness.” Geoff replied.

“Really? What does?” Bridgette asked.

“My mom's mac and cheese?” Geoff shrugged.

“That's ridiculous! But also so sweet.” Bridgette said as they started kissing.

“Oh, I love you.” Geoff said as they kissed.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap. “Seventeen teenagers, one spooky film lot, and a whole bunch of alien eggs. In a world where an army chef wore an alien costume, only the strong could survive. Finally, two lovers shared a heroic victory. But now, they'll be forced to endure a tragic separation. And so it was that another pair of lovers were the subject of a vote-off for the ages. But Geoff and Bridgette's love was so strong, no amount of heckling could ever break their timeless bond. Enough already with the love! This week, we're gonna bring the pain! Haha. Well, if I have anything to say about it. And I do, by the way. So brace yourselves for some deliciously painful Total. Drama. Action!” Chris finished the recap.

(Theme song)

The episode began with the guys sleeping in their cabin. “Hey, keep it moving!” Chris said as the scene switched into the girls cabin where they were sleeping when suddenly an alarm noise sounded, walking them up.

“Dah!” Gwen yelled as she hit her head on the bed above her while she woke up.

“All crew on set! Call time is four a.m.! I love this thing.” Chris said with his megaphone outside the trailer.

Confessional: Beth

“At first, I thought he was talking to the crew crew, not us. I was really hoping they'd replace Chris the creep with a nice host this time around!” Beth complained.

“I can't believe I'm doing another season of this show.” Leshawna complained as the girls got out of the trailers tired, except for Izzy who was happily bouncing around.

“This continuing sadistic wake up call is messing with the natural rhythms of my mind clock. My mojo will be destroyed.” Harold complained while the guys got out.

“You're on a film set now, and you're gonna learn that show biz is not all red carpets and pool parties. Today you're gonna get schooled on how tough on-set production life can be.” Chris said.

“Whatever. I can deal. I once had a summer job at a petting zoo. It's so adorable. Everybody feeding the adorable goats their adorable cabbages. But somebody, i.e. me, had to shovel up the less adorable end of the digestive process.” Gwen complained.

“Well, speaking of number two, it's time to pick your teammates and then try to stick it to the team your boyfriend chooses.” Chris continued.

“We're not gonna get all competitive and nasty, are we?” Trent asked.

“Absolutely not. We learned from last season, right?” Gwen replied.

“Okay, let's get this bloodbath started.” Chris continued

“Uh, there are 15 people here. One team has to have an extra player.” Noah pointed out.

“Well, I guess Trent could have the extra player since he won the challenge.” Chris said which made Trent upset. “You're gonna choose randomly. Ladies first. Since we have no ladies here, Gwen.” Chris asked Gwen.

“I dunno. Duncan?” Gwen sighed as Trent gasped.

Confessional: Trent

“Ugh, Gwen’s just choosing Duncan first? Whatever. Since my team has more players, I’ll let Gwen have the people who made it farther and I’ll choose the early boots or the incompetent players so it’s more fair to her.” Trent said.

“I choose Lindsay!” Trent said.

“Yay!” Lindsay cheered.

Confessional: Gwen

“Lindsay? I thought Trent would choose someone more competent.” Gwen said.

“Because I like to keep things cool, I pick Leshawna.” Gwen said as she winked at Leshawna.

“The girls are back in town!” Leshawna said as the two high-fived.

“You know what would be so great? If you picked Justin!” Lindsay told Trent.

“Alright. I choose Justin.” Trent said.

“Yay!” Lindsay cheered.

“Oh I see what you’re up to. Pick all the good looking contestants. That'll get you far.” Gwen said, upset.

“It will in show biz.” Trent shrugged.

“True. I choose DJ.” Gwen said.

“I choose Beth.” Trent said.

Gwen looked confused about who to pick. “Remember, keep your enemies closer.” Leshawna whispered to Gwen.

“No. Really? You don't mean... Fine. We choose Heather.” Gwen sighed.

“Really?” Heather said, surprised.

Confessional: Heather

“It's about time someone realized who's the most valuable player here. I mean, seriously, people.” Heather scoffed.

“Hm. I choose Noah!” Trent said.

“Whoo.” Noah unenthusiastically said.

Gwen looked confused on who to pick. “Hyah, hi-yah! I have many wicked skills that could be useful in challenges. I mean, who else here went to film camp and is fully trained as a junior cinematographer with a thorough knowledge of lighting filters, film stop--” Harold told Gwen as he did karate moves.

“Fine. I pick Harold. If for no other reason but to shut him up.” Gwen sighed.

“Wise choice.” Harold said.

“It was just so that you stopped talking.” Gwen said.

“Still.” Harold replied. Trent looked at the other options but was confused on who to pick.

Confessional: Trent

“At this point, I thought people would be suspicious if I picked Eva or Tyler since I already picked a bunch of early boots. Owen got farthest in the last game, so picking him would make me look less suspicious. Dude, I don't know. I had to pick someone.” Trent said.

“I choose Owen.” Trent said.

“Woohoo!” Owen cheered as he high-fived him.

“I guess Tyler?” Gwen said, not wanting Eva or Izzy.

“Aw come on, why are you picking me? I wanted to be on the same team as Lindsay!” Tyler angrily said.

“Um, I guess Izzy and Eva are on my team then.”  Trent said as Eva went to his side but Izzy didn’t. “Izzy?” he asked as Izzy ignored him and whistled.

“She likes to be called Kaleidoscope.” Eva said.

“Oh, right. E-Scope?” Trent sighed.

“Here! Haha, hi.” Izzy said as she went to Trent’s side.

“Gwen, I christen your team, The Screaming Gaffers. Trent, you're the Killer Grips.” Chris said the team names.

“Grip? I-I don't wanna be a grip.” Beth said.

“Please. It's not like being called a gaffer is something to brag about. It sounds like something that has rabies.” Heather said when suddenly they heard a breaking sound.

“I'm sick and tired of getting no respect around here!” said a gaffer who was next to a grip as they broke some equipment and left.

“Okay, since we're running late now and don't seem to have anymore um... whatever those... two... crew... dudes... did, we better get going. Your challenge? For each team to set up a film set!” Chris explained.

“We'll be scarfing flapjacks by seven.” Leshawna chuckled.

“Oh, will you? As location manager, I want your sets to go... there!” Chris said as he pointed at the top of a cliff.

“You just love doing this to us.” Gwen angrily said.

“Yes. Yes, I do. Chef! Clear for traffic up there?!” Chris asked Chef from a walkie talkie.

“Yeah, why are you even asking?” Chef replied from the walkie talkie.

“Good. Lights! Camera! Action!” Chris said with his megaphone.

Cut to everyone carrying stuff up a cliff when Gwen almost tripped. “Uh!” Gwen grunted as Duncan caught her.

“What are you doing with him?” Trent asked when he saw this.

“Uh... we're on the same team?” Gwen replied.

“Yeah dude, chill.” Duncan said and continued going up the cliff.

“Is there something wrong Trent?” Gwen asked.

“I don’t trust Duncan, and I don’t think you should either.” Trent replied.

“Look, I know he went to juvie and all but he’s cool once you get to know him.” Gwen replied.

“Alright… I guess you’d know him better than me.” Trent said as he saw Lindsay trip and went to help her.

“You coming?” Duncan said as he went back down the cliff to talk to Gwen.

“Yeah. Let’s go.” Gwen suddenly said as Heather bumped into her while pushing a cart, accidentally sending it down the cliff.

“People! This is crazy inefficient! I say we organize relay style and pass the equipment up.” Heather told Gwen.

“If you say it, we're not doing it.” Gwen replied as she and Duncan went up the cliff.

“But it's a good idea!” Heather complained.

“I'm totally with you. Write down all your good ideas, and we can bring them up at the next team meeting. I'll second you. Cool?” Harold told Heather.

“Go jump in a lake, trout lips.” Heather replied and went down the cliff as Harold looked at his lips.

Cut to Trent running up the cliff. “Come on, lucky necklace. Papa Trent needs you.” Trent said to himself as he looked at his necklace.

“Wow, I thought I was crazy. You're talking to jewelry?” Izzy said as she passed by him.

“You are crazy. I'm just trying to help our team win this thing.” Trent replied.

“Hey! That's what I'm trying to do too! If you've got some lucky earrings, I'd be glad to have a little chat with them, huh?” Izzy replied.

“You two just shut it and run!” Eva said as she passed by them.

Cut to everyone at the bottom of the hill, with only the trailer left there. “It's neck and neck, people! And now for the heavy stuff!” Chris said from the megaphone.

“How the heck are we gonna get those trailers all the way up the hill?” Trent asked.

“I have a great idea.” Lindsay said.

Confessional: Lindsay

“It's so great to be free from Heather. I can totally contribute more and stuff. I have a lot of unwrapped potential, you know.” Lindsay said.

“Let's get Tyler to do it!” Lindsay said.

“He's on the other team!” Noah, Trent, Eva and Beth replied.

“Oh, right. Bummer.” Lindsay said as Owen’s stomach started rumbling.

“I’m the strongest of all of you here, I’ll do it.” Eva said.

“Yeah, but you can use some help. Owen. There's catering at the top of the hill. Just take that trailer up there with you and you can eat.” Trent told Owen.

“Eat? I love eat! Ahh!” Owen said as he took off his belt and used it to help himself pull up the trailer with Eva.

Cut to Owen and Eva pulling the trailer up the cliff. “Yeehaw, go Owen and Eva! Run around!” Izzy said.

“Hey! Gaffer wannabes, how do you like that? Are all of you gonna cry together? 'Cause your team is going down!” Noah taunted the Gaffers as they gasped.

“Uh, not cool. Not cool at all.” Duncan said.

“Oh, don't worry. We are taking that team down.” Gwen said.

“We need someone to carry the trailer up the cliff.” Harold said as they all looked at DJ.

“Oh no. Don't expect me to... What if the trailer snips and rolls back down the hill and possibly hurts someone? What then? I couldn't handle being responsible for that.” DJ protested.

“Don’t worry guys, I got this!” Tyler said as he went toward the trailer to pull it.

Cut to Owen and Eva pulling the trailer when suddenly Owen’s pants fell. “Without his belt holding him up, Owen's pants are slowing him down.” Chris said as Owen tried to pull his pants up, slowing them down.

“Hurry up, they’re gonna beat us!” Eva told Owen.

“I’m trying my best here!” Owen replied.

Cut to the Gaffers and Chris at the bottom of the hill. “Looks like the Screaming Gaffers still have a chance. Will DJ step up to the plate, save the day?” Chris said.

“I said no!” DJ said.

“Find out after the break to see if DJ rises to the call of duty.” Chris said.

“I'm not gonna do it.” DJ said.

Cut to Owen and Eva carrying the trailer. “Welcome back to Total Drama Action. We're in the middle of some pretty wild action right now.” Chris said.

“Catering?” Owen mumbled as he looked tired.

“Dude, it’s just a few more steps, we’re almost there.” Eva told him.

“Owen, Owen, he's our guy! If he can't do it... uh... h-he's not our guy!” Beth cheered for Owen with pom poms, trying to make him go faster.

Cut to the bottom of the cliff. “There's still time for DJ to step up and be the hero for the Gaffers.” Chris said.

“Do it, DJ! Do it, DJ!” Harold cheered.

“How many times do I have to say no?”  DJ replied.

“Nah, don’t worry I’m doing it!” Tyler said as he tried to pull the trailer, but failed to make it move at all.

“Oh yeah, definitely doing it.” Duncan rolled his eyes.

Cut to the Grips as Owen and Eva reached the top. “Finally!” Owen said as he collapsed.

“I’d probably go faster just by myself.” Eva rolled her eyes as the Grips cheered.

“We actually won!” Beth said.

“Well, not exactly.” Chris replied.

“Pardon?” Beth asked.

“That was only the first part of the challenge. Did I neglect to mention that?” Chris replied.

Cut to everyone on the cliff with the two sets set up. “It's time to make a movie. And what we've got here is the set for a tearjerker, starring an elderly lady considering her long life.” Chris explained.

“Boring!” Trent said.

“I can't believe we don't have a trailer.” Harold said.

“We are so not going to be able to properly apply makeup without vanity lighting. This could spell disaster. Thanks, DJ.” Heather told DJ.

“What? You wanted me to accidentally drop the trailer? I’m not taking that risk, that’s way too dangerous!” DJ said.

“We can still do this! We have to believe!” Tyler said as all of his teammates aside from Harold, who was clapping, shot annoyed glances at him.

“You'll be making a feature about a thug who tries to go straight but can't resist the lure of the street.” Chris began explaining.

“Yeah, it's been done.” Gwen replied.

“Hey, what about lunch? We have been working for eight hours and you are legally obligated by union rules to give us a meal break.” Heather said.

“Oh yeah? If anyone here is in the union, raise your hands. Yeah. I thought so.” Chris said as he raised his hand.

Confessional: Heather

“I am hereby forming Local Why Not United Workers Against Chris. Who's with me? Everybody?” Heather asked but got no response.

“And now it's time to choose an actor to perform a scene. Chef. Give the teams their scenes.” Chris continued explaining.

“All right. We need an old lady.” Trent said.

“Oh, please. Let me do it! It's gotta be me. I've got an old soul! I'm like, eighty-seven years old on the inside, because I've been reincarnated, like a bunch of times! Actually, I'm the reincarnation of my very own Granny Mavis! Aye there, laddie! You spilled a wee bit of haggis on yer kilt! And I can tell ya, all the lots are risin' up to the claw!” Izzy said with a Scottish accent.

“Okay, fine!” Eva, Noah and Trent said in frustration.

Cut to the Gaffers set. “Big Lucky Parmesano.” Gwen said as she looked at the script.

“A tough guy?” Heather thought as they all looked at Duncan.

“What?” Duncan asked.

“You have got to play the gangster!” Gwen told him.

“Don't typecast me, I don't even know if I can act.” Duncan replied.

“You want Harold to do it? He's as tough as butter.” Heather said.

“What about me?” Tyler head.

“Oh excuse me, does Mr. Got Beaten Up By A Parrot, have anything to say?” Heather sarcastically said.

“Don't expect DJ to be a tough guy! That's for sure.” Chef said.

“How can you say that?” DJ asked sadly.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. You’re not gonna get anywhere by being a whiny Mama Boy like that.” Chef said.

Confessional: DJ

“Maybe Chef is right. I did let my team down today, but I don’t really like being aggressive. My Momma always taught me to be kind and respectful, and that’s what I’m gonna be like!” DJ said as he showed a picture of his Momma.

“Come on, this is a role you were born to play! You just have to be you.” Gwen told Duncan.

“All right, set up the shot! Whoever can get Chef, Mr. Ex-Army Corporal, to show any emotion, wins the challenge.” Chris said with a megaphone as Chef sat on a seat and gave an angry glare.

Cut to the Grips set where Lindsay was putting make-up on Izzy. “Your makeup, gorgeous! And now, I'm gonna make you really feel like an old lady!” Lindsay told Izzy.

“I feel like eighty years have already passed since they've started to adjust the lighting!” Izzy said, her legs aching from not moving for a long time.

“Don't move.” Eva said, trying to adjust the light.

“Oh, don't worry. I can't. My legs are totally asleep!” Izzy angrily said.

“Could I get that last line again?” Owen asked while sitting at a stand with headphones.

“My legs are asleep!” Izzy yelled at the boom mic which made Owen yell and fall in fear.

Cut to the Gaffers set. “One, I can't memorize this much, and two, these lines are way out of left field.” Duncan said, looking at the script.

“Just say what's written and quit being such a prima donna.” Heather said.

“We all have a job to do.” Leshawna agreed.

“So you just stand there and look pretty. Okay? Pretty boy?” Heather said as she bopped his nose.

“Don't call me pretty. The last guy who called me pretty ended up looking a lot less pretty. Get it?” Duncan angrily replied.

“Friction between the crew and talent. I love it! It's like a real film set!” Chris chuckled.

“You are not pretty. Okay, Duncan? You're hot. Okay? You look hot. Sexy. Stud-like.” Gwen told Duncan which made Trent upset.

“That's better.” Duncan replied.

“I can't believe they settled that so fast! Sometimes, this business really stinks.” Chris sighed.

Cut to the Grips set. “There's seven colors on this tape roll thingy, but I don't know which one to use. And what kind of a shape would a mark be? Like, an M for mark, or…” Lindsay said as she looked at a box of tape rolls.

“Ugh... my legs are starting to tingle... I don't think I can hold much... Oof! Longer…” Izzy said and collapsed.

“Oh come on, I just the lighting just right!” Eva complained.

“Get back to first positions!” Trent told them.

“Ugh, it's been decades! Can we just get the ball rolling on my eventual Best Actress nomination?” Izzy complained.

Cut to Heather walking behind the stage. “No wonder we're taking so long! This place is a mess, guys. And you have-- Huh? Ow. Wha! Ooh! Oh!” Heather said as her foot ended up caught in a wire and caused her to be hung in the air. “I know you did this, Leshawna! Help! I am gonna need a little help here, people!” Heather complained.

“I'll help you down, milady.” Harold said as he came with a metal stick.

“Ugh! Thank you.” Heather reluctantly said as Harold untangled her with the stick, causing her to fall into the ground.

“Anything for milady.” Harold said as he bowed.

Confessional: Harold

“I've been working on my courting skills. Yup. I've mastered girl whispering.” Harold said.

Confessional: Heather

“As annoying as hanging around Harold would be, he's probably the person here who is most willing to be in an alliance with me. And right now, milady needs all the help she can get.” Heather said.

Cut to the Gaffers set. “And now, it's time for the final hair and makeup!” Chris said with a megaphone.

“This light is just appalling! How am I supposed to work without a proper trailer and lighting?” DJ complained as he put make up on Duncan.

“I mean, you were the one who refused to pull up the trailer.” Gwen shrugged.

“Oh. I mean, could you tilt that pretty chin up just a smidge?” DJ asked Duncan.

“That's enough!” Chef yelled as she pulled DJ into a chair.

“What? My mama always told me I had a flair for applying her church makeup, so I figured…” DJ asked.

“We've got to toughen you up, you big ol' marshmallow!” Chef told DJ.

Confessional: Chef

“I've gotta admit. I see a bit of myself in DJ. But I had to develop the macho in myself without somebody like me helping. This is gonna be fun.” Chef said.

“Here's the deal. I'll help you man up and win this thing. You don't ask any stupid questions, and you split the prize with me. Like they say, it's an offer you can't refuse. I won't let you.” Chef told DJ.

“Wait but, is this even allowed? It’s unfair for the others!” DJ said.

“What did I tell you about asking stupid questions!?” Chef angrily replied.

Confessional: DJ

“I was a bit concerned about this but Chef seemed to be willing to help me become more confident, and we didn’t do anything wrong yet.” DJ said.

Cut to the Grips set. “Wow, you don't look like you!” Lindsay said as she put a purple hood on Izzy who was also wearing a purple dress.

“Aye, lassie! That's on account of me being a master thespian!” Izzy replied with a Scottish accent.

“Huh?” Lindsay asked, not being able to understand what she said due to her accent.

“Just make sure you lose the Scottish burb. Okay, Granny McE-Scope?” Trent told Izzy.

Confessional: Izzy

“Hah! Laddie wishes I’d do that.” Izzy laughed.

“And that's... action!” Chris said as he took a seat next to Chef while they looked at the performances.

“When I was a young schoolgirl in Poline, frolicking through my fields with my pet goat in the summer sun, those were my happiest days.” Duncan acted, wearing a fedora and holding a toy gun.

“Did you check the envelopes before you labeled them?” Chris asked Chef.

“I thought you checked them.” Chef replied as they started chuckling.

“Now you listen and you listen good. If your fighter doesn't go down in the first round, you'll be sleepin' with the fishes! And uh, that's tough to do because... you know, they have no eyelids and it's hard to sleep! Hey, I can flip my eyelids! Anyone wanna see me flip them?! Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't.” Izzy asked as she went off script.

“Okay. Granny Izzy's nuts, but at least she's committed. Duncan's gonna have a hard time beating that.” Trent told Owen behind the stage.

“You know it!” Owen said as they fist bumped.

“I've lived a good, long life! I've loved, I've laughed, but what I miss most of all is my sweet little goat! Shopa! Oh, baa... baa…” Duncan said as he started sobbing.

“Baa... baa…” Chef said quietly as he started crying.

“C-Cu... cut! Okay, enough! It's too much for Chef to take! Duncan clearly wins for best performance! The Screaming Gaffers win it!” Chris said while crying alongside Heather and Leshawna.

“Ay, ay, oh, oh, I was robbed! Yeah, I'll see you in the morgue, capiche?!” Izzy said as she tossed her hood into the ground.

“Woohoo!” Tyler cheered. He was the only one to do so since everyone was too busy crying aside from DJ who went to talk to DJ.

“You're gonna teach me how to be a tough guy?” DJ told Chef as he chuckled.

“Tough guys cry! And did you notice how your team just won? Who was the judge, DJ? Huh? Who?” Chef said as he lifted DJ by his shirt.

Confessional: DJ

“Cheating in challenges!? I mean he probably would have just cried anyway so…” DJ said, rethinking about the alliance.

Cut to Trent coming to talk to Gwen under a tree. “Duncan's performance made me realize some stuff. Like, I've loved, lost, but what I've missed most is my sweet little goat Gwen.” Trent told Gwen.

“Baa!” Gwen laughed as she imitated the sheep.

“You guys are just friends, right? You called him stud-like and sexy and I-” Trent asked.

“Worry not. The guy has a secret photo of Courtney under his pillow. And really, he's no Trent.” Gwen replied.

“I’m sorry I was being so paranoid about him.” Trent apologized.

“Whatever. All I know is, I don't wanna be you right now.” Gwen said.

“Huh? Why is that?” Trent asked.

“Well, obviously because you have to go vote someone off.” Gwen replied.

“Meh. Whatever. As long as you're still here, I'm good.” Trent said.

Cut to the award ceremony. “And now it's your turn to cast your votes and determine who will stroll down the Walk of Shame. Under your seats, you'll find voting devices. Just press the button of the person you want voted off. It's easy. So, cast your votes. Who will it be? Who will be cast off the set?” Chris began the ceremony.

“Scrawny Kid, you didn’t do anything of note today!” Chef called out Noah.

“Then why did you feel the need to call me out?” Noah asked.

“I needed to call out at least two people. E-Scope! You busted the acting challenge today!” Chef called out Izzy who looked as creepy as ever.

Confessional: Izzy

“Props to Cheffy for using the right name!” Izzy said as she clapped.

“And it looks like all the votes have been cast. Chef?” Chris said as Chef played a drum while a printer printed out the votes. “Remember, if you get a Gilded Chris, you get to stay, because rather suitably, the Gilded Chris represents the luster of fame and immortal greatness. Haha. And the Gilded Chrises go to... Trent. Owen. Noah. Eva. and Beth.” Chris said as he threw the three their awards.

“Mm. Foil covered chocolate.” Owen said as he ate the reward.

“Did you eat the foil!?” Noah asked, baffled.

“Oh no, even I have some standards.” Owen said as he spat out the foil.

“And now, only three nominees left.” Chris said while Lindsay, Justin and Izzy looked worried. “The final two Chris awards goes to

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Justin and Lindsay! And the loser is... Izzy! Time to go!” Chris said as he threw Justin and Lindsay their awards while Izzy looked upset.

“I'm not going anywhere. That's not my name.” Izzy said as Chris looked at Chef.

“Girl likes to be called Kaleidoscope.” Chef shrugged.

“Can I get a pen over here? It says "E-Scope" now, okay?! And remember, you can never come back. Ever! Take her to the Lame-o-sine.” Chris said as he crossed out Izzy’s name on the paper and replaced it with E-Scope as some interns came to drag Izzy away.

Cut to the Lame-O-Sine where the interns threw Izzy into the Lame-O-Sine. “Ugh! This was just a dress rehearsal, my darlings! Ha ha. Mwah! Mwah! You'll see my star on the Walk of Fame. Mark my words. Mark them!” Izzy yelled as she left.

“She’s creepy.” Eva said as the Lame-O-Sine left.

“You think!?” Noah replied.

“Aw, I’m gonna miss her.” Owen sighed as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional:Trent

“Izzy. She cost the challenge and is pretty creepy.” Trent said as he chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Lindsay

“Sorry Issabella, you did lose the challenge.” Lindsay said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Justin

“Izzy. Never liked her anyway.” Justin said as he chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Beth

“Izzy lost the challenge, it’s only fair.” Beth said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Noah

“Izzy. Owen’s gonna be upset but hey, she should have been less insane in the challenge and not just go off-script.” Noah said as he chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Owen

“I know Izzy cost the challenge but I don’t wanna vote her! I’ll choose randomly.” Owen said as he closed his eyes and picked a random person to eliminate on the device. It was Lindsay.

Confessional: Eva

“I vote for Izzy. She did lose the challenge. It’s only right.” Eva said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Izzy

“Justin! I’ll get my revenge again, pretty boy!” Izzy said as she chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

BONUS CLIP

Izzy’s Lame-O-Sine Ride

“Whoo, I feel so alive! I'm the Izzy E-Scope. I can kick backsides on reality programs! I can tie my ankles together and do backflips down an up escalator! Wanna see? Well then, we'll have to go someplace with an up escalator, won't we? Yeah. When Hollywood starts calling, E-Scope will have a lot of things on the special skill portion of her resume. I just made myself invisible! Can we stop for banana splits and milkshakes and cheese? Oh oh oh oh, and let's go someplace with an up escalator, you know what I mean? Whoo!” Izzy cheered.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap. “He was a boy. She was a girl. And last week on Total Drama Action, a shocking team redistribution pitted them against one another. Our heroine made a fundamental romantic comedy error. Picking Duncan first and leaving her boyfriend Trent feeling kinda ouchie. Meanwhile, two men made an illegal alliance. And Duncan's mad thespian skills trumped Izzy's... well, madness. It was all too much for Chef's tender heart, and Izzy -- uh, Kaleidoscope -- was clearly a bit too nutso. Even for this show. Will Duncan break up Gwen and Trent's barely-there relationship? Will the new locks keep Owen out of the craft truck? Will my nonfat vanilla soy latte ever get here? All the answers, uh... answered right now in another tear-jerking episode of... Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the craft services tent. “Breakfast is served.” Chef said as he dropped a piece of slop on Heather’s plate.

“Now I know how starlets stay thin.” Heather said as she looked at her slop.

“Wish Chef'd let me in the kitchen. I got me some mad culinary skills.” Harold said.

“Do you mind? I was talking to my slop.” Heather said and took a seat. She waved at Lindsay and Beth when she saw them enter but they ignored her and sat next to Justin, upsetting her.

“Justin, look. I brought you bacon.” Lindsay said as she offered a piece of bacon to Justin.

“And I brought you facon. Tofu's good for your heart.” Beth said as she offered a piece of tofu to Justin.

“Pig's good for his hair!” Lindsay argued.

“Holy crap, I love his hair!” Beth said as she jumped on Justin’s head.

“Ladies, please. I accept both your offerings. Join me for breakfast?” Justin said as he took Beth off his head and put her in a seat. He began eating but Lindsay and Beth didn’t, they just looked at him while giggling. “Aren't you eating?” he asked.

“When you can gorge on your essence to bo hunk, who needs food?” Lindsay replied.

“Alright then.” Justin said as he continued eating. He winked at Beth which made her fall off her seat.

Confessional: Beth

“If only making friends with a guy as gorgeous as Justin was as easy as making these bracelets.” Beth said as she made some bracelets but accidentally choked on a bead that fell in her mouth.

“That guy is as smooth as mama's gravy.” DJ said as he and Tyler saw Justin flirting with Lindsay.

“Lindsay's supposed to like me.” Tyler complained.

“Sorry man, nobody can compete with gravy.” DJ said.

“Lindsay! I can do a handspring! Whoa! Aw…” Tyler said as he tried to do a handspring but ended up falling.

“Oh my gosh. Poor... I'm blanking on his name, o-oh! I know! Justin!” Lindsay said.

“That's my name.” Justin replied.

“And what a nice name. Justin. I could say it all day.” Lindsay replied.

“Please do.” Justin replied as Lindsay giggled.

Confessional: Tyler

“I don't get it. I'm the least talked about contestant on all the fan blogs. Even Zeke gets more play. And he got eliminated first. Worst of all, on the bus here, Lindsay called me Noah. Noah! Have to make her see me.” Tyler sighed.

“Hey buddy, isn’t Justin hot?” Owen asked Noah as they took a seat.

“No.” Noah replied as they started eating.

“What’s wrong buddy? You kept complaining about Justin since we got here.” Owen asked Noah.

“Eh, I’m just petty like that. I just don’t like him, he’s like the anti-me.” Noah replied.

“Oh come on buddy, you two have plenty in common! You’re both lazy, you’re both obsessed with yourselves- Oops.” Owen chuckled as he saw Noah glaring at him.

“He’s right about both of you being similar, even though I don’t like Justin either. He’s playing those two like a fiddle.” Eva said as she sat next to them.

“Whatever, guys dumb as hell. Looks can only get you so far.” Noah said. Meanwhile, Justin heard their conversation from his table.

Confessional: Justin

“If there is one thing Noah is right about, it’s about the fact that I’m the opposite of him. He’s incredibly ugly and I am beauty in human form. Looks are everything in this world.” Justin said as he showed off his muscles.

Confessional: Noah

“I’m not worried about Justin. Like I said, he has the IQ of a toddler. I have more important things to be worried about.” Noah said as he read a book.

Meanwhile Heather looked upset on her table by Justin being able to use Lindsay and Beth so easily. “Looks like they haven’t learned anything.” Harold said as he took a seat next to Heather.

“Ugh, why do you keep following me? I told you to buzz off.” Heather angrily told Harold.

“I thought you said we were friends? We even talked about your parents being divorced or you being fat and pimply once” Harold asked.

“I said maybe. And I lied about there being even a small chance of us being friends. Also, never bring that up again.” Heather angrily replied.

“Can I at least sit here?” Harold asked.

“Fine. I’m too tired to argue anyway.” Heather said as she started eating.

Meanwhile Duncan, Trent and Gwen were sitting at a table together. Trent tried to open the salt but the entire lid came off, covering all his food in salt.

“Ahh, sorry about the morning as- salt !” Duncan laughed, showing that he was the one who did the prank.

“Third grade called. You're due back in class.” Gwen said as she hit Ducnan’s head.

“Real mature. Don't you know it's bad luck to spill salt?” Trent said and threw the salt at his back, accidentally hitting Heather in her face, causing her to sneeze.

“Nothing a little pepper won't fix. Aw!” Trent said as he tried to put pepper on his eggs, but that ended up spilling as well. He threw it backwards again, and it hit Heather again, making her sneeze even more which made Duncan laugh.

“Would have been funnier if you hit Harold too, but whatever. Uh, you still gonna finish those eggs, bro?” Duncan said as he took an egg from Trent’s plate and ate it.

“Are you nuts? Now I only have eight pieces left!” Trent angrily replied.

“Dude, eight is still plenty.” Duncan replied.

“If you want an odd number I can eat one. There. Now you've got seven pieces. Which is an odd number again. Isn't that kinda better?” Gwen said as she ate one of Trent’s eggs.

“Well, I’d like it more if it was nine. See, I had this toy train my granddad gave me as a kid. Right before he died. One of the wheels fell off, so there were only nine. I was devastated. So my mom told me nine was now my lucky number.” Trent replied.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Gwen replied.

“Eh, I’ve gotten over it. It’s not the end of the world if there aren't exactly nine.” Trent said as he ate an egg.

Suddenly Chris entered the tent. “Hang on to your coconuts, players! We're going back to the beach!” Chris said as he blew his whistle.

“Woohoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!” Owen cheered.

“Ever seen one of those 1950's surfer movies where the kids get up to neato fun before the big bonfire Twist-a-thon? And the bully kicks the sand castle in the nerdy guy's face?” Chris asked. Everyone but Heather, who was too busy sneezing, and Harold, who actually nodded, shook their heads.

“Uh, no, grandpa, we haven't.” Duncan said.

“Well, get ready to recreate one, junior. Two challenges followed by a tiebreaker, if necessary. So grab your swimsuits!” Chris said and left. Everyone tried to exit the tent, but DJ was stopped by Chef.

“If the sand castle thing goes down, make sure you're the kicker, not the kickee.” Chef told DJ.

“Uh, what does that mean?” DJ asked.

“There will be a sandcastle building contest, so be ready for it. Also, wear your coat, not your swimsuit. You’ll see why later.” Chef told DJ.

“I don’t think you’re allowed to tell me about challenges before they begin.” DJ said.

“Who cares about that, boy? Just be focused on the cash!” Chef said as DJ worriedly nodded.

Confessional: DJ

“Man, so we’re just gonna cheat in challenges like that? How’s that fair?” DJ sighed.

Cut to the shooting studio where the AC was cranked and the campers were freezing in their swimsuits while Chris, Chef and DJ wore coats.

“When did you guys move the beach to Antarctica?” Lindsay asked.

“We didn’t even exit the trailer, how do you think this is Antartica?” Noah asked.

“As some of you can see, we're actually in the shooting studio.” Chris said.

“And the AC's cranked because?” Duncan asked.

“All the cameras and lights get so hot, they could melt Chef's heart.” Chris said.

“Hih hih hih.” Chef giggled as he waved to the campers.

“And the network told my agents sweaty isn't a good look for me. Your challenge? Hang ten this deck into the big blue without swallowing tail in the soup.” Chris continued explaining.

“What did you just ask me to do?” Leshawna angrily asked.

“He means whoever stays on the surfboard longest, wins.” Trent explained.

“Exactamundo, groovy cats. So, who's going first?” Chris asked. No one volunteered.

“Dude, how did you know to bring your coat?” Tyler asked DJ.

“I thought that since Chris said we should wear our swimsuits, I brought my coat since I thought he could bring us somewhere cold to torment us.” DJ lied.

“Wow. That’s actually genius!” Tyler said as DJ said guilty.

Confessional: DJ

“Not only am I cheating, I’m lying as well!? Momma if you’re watching this, sorry!” DJ said.

“The team that wins will get a half hour head start on the next challenge, and given tonight's reward, you should be fighting harder than Justin's abs over who gets first shot.” Chris said.

“Speaking of rock hard abs, have you ever seen my ten-pack?” Harold said as he flexed his mini abs to Leshawna which made her roll her eyes.

“What an impressive zero-pack.” Noah sarcastically said as Lindsay tried to open a pack of sunscreen and shot it forward, making it turn into an icicle and hit Harold in the butt.

“Oh! Ow!” Harold said as he was launched forward.

“We have a volunteer.” Chris said as Harold facepalmed.

Cut to Harold on the surfboard. “Mad surfing skills activate!” Harold said as he balanced himself.

“And please welcome the return of some season one fan favorites! The sharks!” Chris said as some sharks tried to attack Harold’s butt from the water, making him shriek.

Confessional: Harold

“I'm very protective of my buttocks. They provide me with the low center of gravity that is my many mad skills. You could say they're my hugest asset. Check it! I can juggle my Magic Steve's Magical Trading Cards!” Harold said as he juggled some cards with his butt pockets.

“My booty and I are out!” Harold said as he held onto a ceiling pipe while the sharks tried to attack him.

“Your booty has an opinion?” Leshawna asked.

“That's a big job for such a saggy, sad little thing.” Heather said.

“I'll have you know that this is a selfless act! My lady fans couldn't handle the loss of this perfect behind!” Harold replied.

“And by lady fans, he means his mother.” Heather said.

“Hey sharks, look! Bacon and facon!” Harold said as he pointed at Owen eating bacon and facon.

“Breakfast should last all day, no?” Owen chuckled.

“Then when would you eat lunch?” Noah said.

“Good point.” Owen replied as he continued eating while the sharks tried to reach his food from the water. Harold noticed they were distracting and let go of the pipe, causing him to fall into the diving board.

“Whoa! Oof!” Harold grunted in pain as he fell on the board.

“Ooh! Way to stick the dismount, bro.” Chris laughed.

“Oh!” Duncan, Heather and Gwen laughed as Gwen and Duncan fist bumped.

“Friendship bracelet?” Beth asked as she gave Trent a black bracelet.

“Uh… thanks?” Trent said as he put it on.

“Do you think Trent liked my bracelet?” Beth asked Lindsay.

“Did you say Tyler's on our team? That's amazing!” Lindsay gasped.

“Okay, Linds. Tyler is still on the other team.” Beth replied.

“Oh, right. I must have a dental block about the whole thing.” Lindsay said which made Beth look weirded out.

Cut to Lindsay on the board when Chef turned on a fan that blew wind onto her. “Whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Ugh!” Lindsay grunted as she was launched onto the backdrop.

Cut to DJ on the board. A shark ended up ripping his pants. “The body's a beautiful thing, you don't need a suit!” Chef yelled as DJ ran away.

Cut to Owen on the board as he immediately broke it. “Oh, whoa! Ahh!” Owen grunted as he fell into the water, sending the water and sharks flying away.

“How even?” Eva said, baffled.

“Oh, man. Oh, crud. Sorry, shark dudes. Really, I'm so sorry.” Owen said as he got out of the pool.

“Break time! Union rules!” Chris said as he blew his whistle.

“Finally.” Heather sighed.

“I don't mean you, shark bait.” Chris replied.

Cut to the sharks relaxing on chairs and drinking tea as Gwen got on the board. “No sharks equals no problem.” Gwen said when suddenly Chris came with a seagull gun.

“I love this game!” Chris said as he shot seagulls at Gwen.

“Ah! Ahh! Sky rat! Get it out! Get it out!” Gwen grunted as she was hit by seagulls and ended up falling in the water.

Cut to Justin posing on the board. “Yay! Go Justin!” Lindsay cheered.

“Yeah, go!” Beth agreed.

“Copycat.” Lindsay angrily told Beth.

“Tanorexic.” Beth said which made Lindsay upset. “Sorry! Friendship bracelet?” she quickly apollogized and offered a pink bracelet.

Justin’s beauty made the sharks faint. “So perfect. Almost makes me believe in the inherent goodness of the human race. Almost.” Chris said as he shot a seagull at his face.

“Justin!” Beth yelled when she saw this.

Confessional: Beth

“I wanted to tell him he looked like a surfing god! Instead, I said…” Beth sighed.

“Your face! Watch your beautiful face!” Beth yelled.

“What?! Oh, oh!” Justin said as he was hit by the seagull and fell in the water.

“Ooh!” The sharks gasped as they got Justin out of the water and started giving him CPR.

“Oh my gosh, Justin. Are you oka–” Beth tried to ask but was slapped by the sharks.

“Love's a beautiful thing.” Chris chuckled.

Cut to Tyler on the board. “Hey Lindsay watch me- Oh!” Tyler grunted as he tried doing a flip and fell into the water.

“Wow. That was just sad.” Chris said.

A montage of people on the board started playing. Eva got shot by a seagull, Heather got splashed off by a shark, Noah fell off the board into the water, Leshawna was shot by a seagull and Beth fell into the water.

Cut to Duncan on the board. “Finally, we have Duncan! Try not to get your piercings wet.” Chris mocked which made Duncan roll his eyes. Chris shot multiple seagulls at him but he dodged them all, and even punched one. Chris threw a chair which he dodged as well.

“Oh, my head…” Lindsay complained while holding her head as she walked by Chris.

“You gotta be kidding me.” Duncan said as Chris threw Lindsay at her, who he managed to dodge.

“Ah, oh!” Lindsay grunted as she hit the backdrop again.

“And with that, Duncan secures victory for the Screaming Gaffers.” Chris announced.

“Gnarly.” Chris said as Duncan’s teammates cheered.

“Man, Gwen's team is unstoppable!” Owen said.

“Ugh, they’ll see who’s unstoppable once I get going.” Eva angrily aid.

“Yeesh, calm down iron woman.” Noah mocked.

“Alright guys, I know we lost a lot by this point but we can still win!” Trent said.

“Yeah! That’s the spirit Trent!” Owen cheered.

“Being positive doesn’t hurt I guess.” Noah rolled his eyes.

“Whatever. We better win the next challenge, or else someone’s back is being broken!” Eva angrily said.

“Uh, remember what Noah said about controlling your temper?” Owen said.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone would want to keep you here if you broke anyone’s back.” Noah said.

“This is exactly what got you eliminated twice last time!” Owen agreed.

“Fine. I’ll try not to break anyone’s backs.” Eva said as she calmed down.

“If you at home like seeing people’s backs broken, you'll love what's coming up next!” Chris said.

“I said I’m not gonna do it!” Eva angrily said.

“You should, though, imagine the ratings. Not mine though.” Chris replied.

“Then I definitely don’t wanna do it.” Eva said as Chris looked upset.

Cut to everyone in front of the set. “Welcome back to Total Drama Action, where against all advice to the contrary, our players have changed out of their bathing suits. Hope you like swimming in your jeans.” Chris said.

“Right, because we're totally going to the beach for real this time. The bus is just late.” Heather sarcastically said as the bus arrived.

“You were saying?” Chris asked.

Confessional: Owen

“Chris actually told us the truth for once? Haha. What's next? Being treated with actual respect?” Owen asked.

Beth was handing out her teammates bracelets as they got on the bus. “A blue bracelet for Lindsay to match her still frozen lips. A red one for Eva because she is always angry. A brown one for Noah because he likes books. A green one for Owen because he's a giant human composter.” Beth said as she gave them all the bracelets.

“Thanks.” Owen said as he ate his and entered the bus.

“What you got there, Beth?” Justin asked as he was about to enter the bus.

“Heh. A whole lot of car sickness. I'll blow chunks if I don't get the front seat.” Beth said as she quickly got on the bus.

Confessional: Justin

“Beth is obviously crushing on me. I can use this to my advantage.” Justin thought.

Cut to after the bus arrived on Camp Wawanakwa’s beach. “Yes, campers. We're actually back at your old stomping grounds. Total. Drama. Island! If you need to take a moment and reminisce about the great times you had here…” Chris said as everyone laughed. “Fine. We'll skip the "good memories" montage. Screaming Gaffers. You've got a thirty minute head start on… The sand castle building contest! To be judged by our resident King o' the Dunes. Make like prop masters, guys, and give me something awesome. I really don't want the tiebreaker to have to go down. I don't think legal's quite approved it yet.” he continued as a test dummy under logs was crushed by a boulder, tree and a car.

“Better make those sandcastles good!” Chef said as he sat on a sand tower with a bucket on his head.

Cut to the Gaffers building their sandcastle. “DJ, wetter sand in that bucket! Tyler, get more sticks! Leshawna, pack it firmer!” Harold ordered.

“Who died and made you Bossy McPushy?” Leshawna asked.

“I'm a bit of a Gehry buff. Frank Gehry? Greatest architect of our time?” Harold replied as Leshawna looked confused.

“And I care about this because...?” Leshawna asked as she suddenly noticed the giant sandcastle built. “Wow.” she said in amazement.

“Now how 'bout some props for my fine buttresses?” Harold said.

“Here you go, man.” Tyler asked as he gave him some sticks to use as flags.

“Did Duncan and Gwen go to get more buckets?” DJ asked when he noticed Duncan and Gwen were missing.

“I don’t think they ever helped build it since we started.” Tyler replied.

“Of course Duncan is slacking off.” Harold rolled his eyes.

Cut to Gwen and Duncan dismantling the bus. “There. If we're stuck at the beach, at least we can stay in the cabins. I never thought I'd miss them.” Gwen said as she took off some wires from the front.

“I've always been more of a dismantler than a builder anyway.” Duncan said.

“No, you just love to stir up the–” Gwen said as Duncan took off a big part, making the horn go off and not stop. “Stuff! I was gonna say stuff!” she said as she covered her ears.

“We should disconnect the horn too.” Duncan said.

Cut to the beach. “Three. Two.” Chris counted down as Chef blew the horn when he finished. “Thank you, Chef.” he thanked.

“Screaming Gaffers. Your thirty minute lead is over. So, Guitar Boy, Get castling.” Chef said.

“Water! We need water!” Owen said.

“I'll hit the mountain stream!” Lindsay said.

“Or we could use the lake.” Eva said.

“Or just use spit.” Noah said as everyone looked at him weirdly.

“Quiet! We need a plan. And I've got one.” Trent said.

Confessional: Justin

“Little Trent mans up. Wow. Even I had goosebumps. And there wasn't a mirror for miles.” Justin said as he looked at himself with a mirror.

Cut to the Grips building their sand castle. “Alright we have the doors, turrets and the…” Trent forgot what he was going to say. 

“Moats?” Justin asked.

“Yeah!” Trent replied.

“Now we have a flag!” Lindsay said as she pulled out a crab’s shell, put it on a stick, painted the logo on it and put it on the sandcastle.

“Great! We just need more!” Trent said.

Cut to the Gaffers giant sandcastle which was finished. ““The Taj Ma-Harold. It's perfect.” Harold said.

“Alright! No way we lose now!” Tyler cheered.

Cut to the Grips sandcastle where Lindsay and Beth were putting too many flags on the castle. “Girls, stop at three. Stop at five. Just, just stop!” Justin said in fear.

“It can't support so much weight!” Owen said.

“You’re ruining it!” Noah said.

“Oh come on, I’m just going to add one more... flag.” Lindsay said as she added another flag, causing it to collapse.

“Aww. It's over.” Justin sighed.

“Great! Now what!?” Eva angrily asked.

“Sorry guys. What if I tie these bracelets around the towers to keep them up?” Beth suggested.

“It's a sand castle building contest, Beth.” Justin told Beth.

“No. It's a prop sand castle building contest. Anything goes.” Beth replied.

“Ooh! Uh, I have some anything.” Lindsay said and showed her bag.

“We can make it even better! Everybody! Tear up these magazines! I'll mix the pieces with hairspray, and voila! Paper mache!” Beth said as she made paper mache from the items in Lindsay’s bag.

“Crafty.” Justin complimented which made Beth blush.

“Remember. Not too much weight!” Trent said as Beth and Lindsay nodded.

Cut to after the castle was built. “I dub thee Casa Gwen.” Trent announced.

“He’s naming their castle after me? I don’t know whether to be flattered or weirded out.” Gwen told Duncan.

“Ah sweet, there’s nine doors!” Trent said as he noticed there were nine doors.

“I don’t think it’s gonna beat ours though.” Gwen said.

“Obviously. My mad sandcastle building skills are unbeatable. The Grips’s loss was determined when this challenge was announced.” Harold boasted.

“God, do you have to stick your nose into everything?” Duncan angrily told Harold.

“Uh guys, I think there’s some seagulls after our castle.” Tyler said as some seagulls started attacking the Gaffers’s castle.

“What!? Gosh!” Harold complained as he saw the seagulls.

“Nice mad sandcastle building skills dweeb.” Duncan mocked as they went to the castle shoo the seagulls.

“Go away!” Heather said as she shooed the seagulls.

“Shoo! Shoo!” DJ said as he shooed the seagulls.

“Fly, fly!” Leshawna said as she shooed the seagulls.

“No! There's birds in my belfry!” Harold yelled as the seagulls ruined the castle and ran away.

“Dude, seriously!?” DJ complained.

“Dang. They busted my buttresses.” Harold sighed.

“We have a winner! Beth and the Killer Grips’s clever prop, Casa dos Paper Mache!” Chris announced as Lindsay and Owen cheered.

“And friendship bracelets!” Beth said as she showed her friendship bracelets to the camera but was shoved away by Chris.

“Which means we need a new tiebreaker! And I was hoping for the evening off. Instead, gather thee some wood, campers, for a fire of the bon variety.” Chris sighed.

Cut to Gwen and Trent, who was with Owen, running into each other. “Gwen, hey! I feel like it's been ages since we had any uh, you know... quality time together.” Trent told Gwen.

“Uh…” Gwen said as she saw Owen making kissing noises behind him.

“Check.” Owen said and ran behind a tree when he saw Trent glaring at him.

“I kinda wanna talk to you about... Owen! I can see you.” Gwen said as she saw Owen looking at them from behind the tree.

“Do you mind speaking up? I don't wanna miss all the juicy bits. Oh!” Owen said as Gwen threw some sticks at him.

“Are you carrying... nine sticks?” Gwen asked.

“Course. It's my lucky number. Bring luck for the tiebreaker.” Trent replied.

“Listen, Trent. I kind of felt uncomfortable about you naming the castle after me. Sometimes it feels like you think about me too much.” Gwen said.

“Really? You’re my girlfriend, of course I think of you.” Trent replied.

“Well, whatever. I’m going to bring the sticks to my team. We’re on different teams, it’s sweet that you think of me but don’t let it get in the way of the game.” Gwen said and left.

“Am I doing something wrong?” Trent thought.

“Well, I think that maybe you shouldn’t think of it that much, and focus on winning. That’s what she said from what I understood.” Owen said from behind the tree.

“You know, Owen. Sometimes you're really smart.” Trent told Owen.

“Me like beans.” Owen replied.

Cut to everyone arriving at the beach where the torches were on. “Why did you bother sending us out to get firewood? There are torches.” Heather asked.

“I needed some alone time. You think these hands manicure themselves? Which brings us to... the tie breaking challenge! A watusi twist, mashed potato, dorky, old-school dance contest! Teams! Choose your best boogier for battle.” Chris asked.

“Ooh! You've got to pick me! My nickname back home? LaShakinit.” Leshawna said excitedly.

“I vote for Trent!” Lindsay said.

“We heard you got some fly moves.” Justin said.

“Okay, I'll do it if you are all sure.” Trent said.

“You better not mess it up!” Eva threatened which made Trent gulp.

Cut to Trent and Leshawna staring at each other. “Prepare for a world of pain, son.” Leshawna taunted.

“Bring it.” Trent taunted. They started dancing, however Leshawna’s dance was so bad, it horrified everyone but Harold who was vibing.

Confessional: DJ

“Yeah. I bet I know Leshawna's real nickname back home. Labomba!” DJ mocked.

Confessional: Heather

“Prima ballerino!” Heather mocked.

Confessional: Tyler

“I don’t want to be rude but… she’s pretty bad at this.” Tyler said.

Confessional: Harold

“Two words, fun-ky! What? I loved it.” Harold said.

“Go Trent!” Beth cheered.

“Shake your lady lumps!” Lindsay cheered.

“Do it dude!” Owen cheered and elbowed Noah to make him cheer.

“Oh, whoo.” Noah enthusiastically said. Trent looked at Gwen to see her upset.

Confessional: Trent

“The thing is, if Gwen wants to win, why is it unethical for me to help her? I know Owen said she wanted me to focus on myself but she looked pretty sad when I was winning. I'm Trent first and a Killer Grip second. Oh, can we erase that? Confession might be good for the soul. It's not so good for the teamwork. This is just a reward challenge anyway, I won’t do it again!” Trent said.

“Oh! Oof!” Trent said as he winked to the camera and willingly tripped on a stick.

“Are you serious!?” Eva angrily said.

“Dude, get up!” Justin said.

“Aw! I think I have turned my ankle!” Trent lied, pretending he was unable to get up.

“We’re gonna lose!” Noah said.

“Do something!” Owen yelled as Trent flailed in the ground.

“That's not dancing!” Chris said as he saw Trent lying on the ground.

“It's modern! It's uh... interpretive.” Trent replied.

“I interpret it as sucking.” Duncan said.

“Shut it, Duncan! I berated Trent for barely any reason, and now he's lost his will to go on!” Gwen sighed.

“You're giving yourself way too much credit. Trent’s just a clumsy dancer it seems, you didn’t have anything to do with that.” Duncan said.

Confessional: Gwen

“I like Trent. A lot. But I don't wanna be responsible for this much mental distress!” Gwen said.

“I can't believe I'm saying this... but Leshawna and the Screaming Gaffers are the winners. And your reward? The greatest beach party ever picked!” Chris announced as the Gaffers cheered. Gwen looked at Trent and pointed at the woods, signaling him to follow her.

Cut to Trent and Gwen in the woods. “I know you really wanted to win.” Trent told Gwen.

“I guess. You know, you're a really good dancer.” Gwen complimented.

“Yeah? You like that?” Trent asked and started dancing.

“Your ankle seems better.” Gwen said.

“I'm weird like that.” Trent said.

“You sure are.” Gwen agreed.

“You guys gonna make out now?” Owen asked from behind a tree. Gwen and Trent replied by throwing sticks at his face.

Cut to the Gaffers partying while the Grips looked upset. “If the losing team could just follow me to the bus…” Chris said when Chef suddenly came to whisper something to him. “Which is broken. Which means the losers will have to stay and watch their rivals gorge on victory. And poi.” he continued.

Cut to Harold dancing when suddenly Duncan kicked sand at him. “What was that for?” Harold asked.

“'Cause you actually have mad skills in dance.” Duncan replied.

“Good thing we didn't need them. Thanks to my smooth moves.” Leshawna said as she started dancing while Duncan laughed.

Cut to Owen eating the paper mache. “How is it, Omar?” Lindsay asked.

“As good as a dirt-encrusted magazine can be.” Owen said and spat it on her.

“Thanks for winning us the sand castle contest. Especially since I blew the surfing challenge. You really saved my bacon. Or... should I say... facon? Hm.” Justin told Beth which made her chuckle. “Except, I kinda noticed you gave everyone on the team friendship bracelets. Everyone... but me. Aren't we friends, Beth?” he continued.

“Course! Here! It’s pink because it suits you!” Beth said as she gave him a bracelet.

“Pink. Nice.” Justin said as he wore it. 

Confessional: Justin

“Let's just say I'll do anything to win. Anything. Heh. "Ooh, Beth, I love it. I was thinking, Beth. It could be really good for us if we were in an alliance."” Justin chuckled.

“Wow. Dude is as crafty as he is good looking. Maybe we're related. He wishes.” Chris said from the security room.

“Uh, no, Chris. No I don't.” Justin said, somehow able to hear him which made Chris shut off the footage.

“Poor delusional guy could never ever swim in my gene pool. More importantly, tune in next time to watch more me! Haha. And a few minutes of Justin. On Total. Drama. Action! Which one of you geniuses left the two-way mic on?!” Chris continued and left the room as the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Harold’s Confessional

Confessional: Harold

“The Hawaiian-themed party was wildly entertaining. We ate poi with pineapple. What's poi, you ask? Poi is a Hawaiian super food from the root of the taro. It's vitamin-rich and hypo-allergenic, making it the world's most effective substitute for breast milk.” Harold explained.

Chapter Text

“People have always been drawn to the beauty of the sea.” Chris began the recap. “But that's not where we were last time! Lindsay's surfing adventure turned trailer park when a twister ruined her fun. And DJ was stripped bare. Nice pecs, dude. Thanks to Duncan's gnarly moves, the Gaffers won the first challenge. Meanwhile, Trent drove everyone nutso with his obsessive "nine of everything". While Beth won over her teammates with her intricately woven friendship. Though the Taj Ma-Harold was cool, the next challenge went to the Grips with their Casa dos Gwen. Tied at one apiece, the Gaffers were crowned the watusi winners when Trent "accidentally" twisted an ankle. And Leshawna got down, scoring them a Hawaiian-style luau. With only fourteen left, maybe the Grips will stand a chance this week. Find out next on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to everyone around their trailers tired due to the heat. “Too hot... to do... anything! Ugh!” Harold as he looked outside the trailer from a window.

Confessional: Harold

“My mad skills are leeching out of me. I can feel it. My mojo isn't sweat proof.” Harold said as he collapsed.

“Can't you fan any faster?” Justin asked Owen who was fanning him with a leaf.

“You're hot. But I'm hotter.” Owen said as he collapsed.

“Where’s all this heat coming from?” DJ asked as he sat in a pool

“Probably something to do with Chris.” Eva replied.

“I can't be getting a cold in this heat.” Gwen said as she sneezed while laying down to a tree.

“Water? You're the only girl I'd risk catching some heinous virus from.” Trent asked as he offered her a bottle of water.

“Heh, that's uh, sweet, Trent. Thanks. It's probably just allergies.” Gwen said as she drank the water.

“Yeah.” Trent said as she gave him the water bottle and he cleaned the cap with a blanket.

Confessional: Trent

“I think my relationship with Gwen is getting better by the moment!” Trent said.

Confessional: Gwen

“Ever since yesterday, I felt uncomfortable around Trent. I think he might have thrown the challenge for me, I don’t know for sure but the whole breaking ankle thing was suspicious.” Gwen said.

Suddenly Chris came with a black jacket and a cowboy hat and fired a pistol next to the guys trailer window.

“Ah!” Harold said in shock, still leaning into the window.

“Ahh! Chris!” Beth said in shock.

“My cranium.” Harold complained while holding his ears.

“I swear I’m going to break a bone in your body one day.” Eva said.

“Take it easy. Guns are loaded with blanks. Least I'm pretty sure one of 'em is.” Chris said as he shot the empty pistol at Harold’s face, blowing smoke at him and making him choke. “Since there's no beatin' the heat, we're goin' west this week. There's a town meetin' at high noon. Be there or I'll drive you deadbeats outta town!” he continued.

“If you're driving us out of town, can we go to the mall?” Lindsay asked.

“He didn’t mean it like that, genius.” Noah said.

“Thank you!” Lindsay replied, not understanding the sarcasm as Noah rolled his eyes.

Suddenly Chef pulled DJ next to him. “Be sure to bring something that you can use as a parachute in the next challenge.

“Uh, Chef… see… about this whole cheating thing…” DJ tried to say but was interrupted.

“Yes!?” Chef angrily asked.

“Uh, nevermind!” DJ quickly replied and ran away.

“Don’t forget the parachute!” Chef yelled.

Confessional: DJ

“Okay, has anyone noticed that Chef can be a bit… scary sometimes?” DJ shrugged.

Confessional: Leshawna

“Ugh. Darn humidity. What you think you're looking at? Nothing to see here.” Leshawna said as her hair popped into an afro while a person laughed off-screen.

Cut to everyone in the cowboy set where Heather laughed when she saw Leshawna’s afro. “I'm sorry, do you see something wrong with my hair?” Leshawna asked.

“Not from where I'm standing.” Duncan said as he looked at her afro from above.

“Listen up, partners. In any good western, there are heroes, outlaws, horses, and pretty dames. The hero defeats the outlaw, then rides off into the sunset on the horse.” Chris explained.

“What about the pretty dames?” Beth asked.

“None of your beeswax! Just messing with ya! They usually hang out in the saloon during the bar brawl.” Chris explained.

“Bar brawl? Cool. Hoo, huh, hyah! Huah! Huah hua. Huah huah. Hah! Whoa!” Harold said as he did karate moves and was suddenly tripped into a puddle of water by Duncan.

“Awesome reenactment, Harold. Aw, most brawls do end up with the loser in the water trough.” Duncan laughed.

Confessional: Leshawna

“Back home, my peeps and I look out for each other. Harold may be small and strange, but that boy is still my peep. I've got my eye on Duncan.” Leshawna explained.

Harold got out of the pool and shook his body to dry off and accidentally made the droplets hit Justin. “Oh yeah. Feels good.” Justin said as he posed.

“Barf.” Noah said as he rolled his eyes.

“Enough with the man candy! All eyes on me! Time for your first challenge. No cowboy worth spittin' at will go one day without saddle practice. Time to saddle up!” Chris said and pointed at a dirty farting horse. “That's the best steed we could afford?” he asked Chef.

“You want a five star hotel and champagne and caviar for breakfast? Hm. I gotta cut somewhere.” Chef said as he calculated the budget.

“It's perfect! Don't change a thing.” Chris replied.

Confessional: Beth

“Ooh, I love horses! Justin told me I looked like one. He's so... great?” Beth thought.

Confessional: Harold

“I spent three summers at Medieval Steve's Medieval Camp. We learned to joust, ride horses, and how to look manly in tights. It's harder than it looks.” Harold explained.

Confessional: Tyler

“Who says a western has to end with a guy and his horse. This is the movies. The guy always gets the girl. Meaning me.” Tyler said.

“You call this a challenge?” Duncan scoffed.

“Not so fast. You cowboys and cowgirls are gonna have to mount the steed from up there. Not there. Way up there.” Chris said as he pointed at a giant water tower. “SInce the Gaffers won last week, they go first. Don't worry. Our unpaid interns have assured us it's safe.” Chris continued.

(Flashback) Chef was looking at an intern while he held onto the diving board. “No, no, no!” The intern screamed and fell as Chef stomped on his hand.

“Looks safe to me.” Chef chuckled.

“We won last week. Why do we have to go first?” Gwen asked.

“Because I said so. And I'm your host, Chris McLean.” Chris replied.

“Guys, I really think I'm coming down with something.” Gwen said as she sneezed.

“Don't worry. We'll help you up the ladder.” Duncan replied.

“Uh guys, Gwen really is sick. In her condition, she'd probably fall right off the platform and land on that poor horse. Oh!” Trent said but then realized what he said.

Confessional: Gwen

“What was that?!” Gwen said, baffled.

Confessional: Trent

“Stupid!” Trent facepalmed.

“Wish me luck.” Gwen gulped as Harold and Duncan cheered while she climbed the ladder.

“You can do it. Let's go.” Heather cheered.

“Just don’t look down and you’ll be fine!” Tyler cheered.

“She needs to see where the horse is.” Harold said.

“Oh. Then look down!” Tyler cheered as Gwen looked nervous.

“We're gonna need a new team captain.” Duncan said.

“I heard that.” Gwen said as she reached the top.

“Break a leg, Gwen!” Trent yelled which made Gwen gasp.

Confessional: Gwen

“Break a leg?! That's what Trent says to me as I'm about to plummet a hundred feet?!” Gwen said, baffled.

Confessional: Trent

“Stupid, stupid!” Trent facepalmed.

“I can't do it. Ah... ah…” Gwen said as she tried to go back but ended up sneezing and fell off the board backwards.

Confessional: Harold

“Acceleration equals mass times the gravitational constant occasional equational... not good, people! Not good.” Harold explained.

Gwen fell while screaming and painfully landed and then fell off the horse.

“You okay?” DJ asked.

“Gwen!” Trent said as he went next to her.

“Thanks. Just watch my left-- ow! Leg! I think you broke it!” Gwen said in pain as Trent accidentally broke her leg.

Confessional: Trent

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” Trent said as he facepalmed.

“Whoa-ho! That was awesome, Gwen! Gaffers one. Grips, you're up.” Chris said as Leshawna helped Gwen to her feet.

“It's not like things can get any worse.” Trent sighed.

Cut to Trent jumping off the diving board. “Or maybe they can.” Trent grunted as he missed the horse and landed on his kiwis on a fencepost.

“Glad it wasn't me. Gaffers one, Grips zip. Harold, you're up.” Chris said.

Cut to Harold jumping off the diving board. “Wicked! Ah, ow, ow!” Harold said as he landed on the horse but was then crushed by Duncan who landed on him as he jumped.

“Way to pad the saddle, Duncan!” Chris said.

“I think you broke my coccyx!” Harold yelled.

“Is that a nerdy term for spine or a body part that only nerds know about?” Duncan asked.

“Gaffers three, Grips zilch!” Chris asaid.

Cut to Owen jumping off the diving board. “Goodbye, sweet world! Aw! Hey! You get back here!” Owen said as the horse and away and he landed on the ground and then he chased the horse to sit on it.

“Nice effort, Owen, my man. If horses can bend, so can the rules. Grips are now on the board with one.” Chris said as the Gaffers complained.

“Yeah, baby! Horse-jumping rules!” Owen cheered.

Cut to DJ gliding down the air with a parachute. “Momma! I’m sorry! Please forgive me! Momma!” DJ cried as he glided with a parachute and landed on the horse.

“Well, with DJ somehow knowing to bring a parachute, that brings the Gaffers to four while the Grips are stuck in one.” Chris said.

Confessional: DJ

“It doesn’t even feel good to win anymore! But Chef’ll kill me if I quit! I’m a horrible, selfish person!” DJ sobbed.

“Hey, that gives me an idea!” Tyler said as he took off his jacket.

Cut to Tyler gliding down the air while using his jacket as a parachute. “Whoo! All right! Whoa! Gah! Ow!” Tyler said as the wind blew him away into some electrical wires.

“Ooh…” Justin, Beth, Lindsay and Noah winced.

“Uh, Chris? You are gonna send someone to help Tyler, right?” Leshawna asked Chris.

“Ha–” Chris laughed but was interrupted by a pause. “"We here at Total Drama Action care about the health and welfare of our competitors. Furthermore, no animals were hurt in the making of this show."” he voiced over to avoid lawsuits.

Cut to the Grips in front of the horse. “Uh, says right here, page thirty-seven of my gluteus maximus modeling contract, I am forbidden from any form of jumping that might strain my uh, assets. Heh. Sorry!” Justin said.

“Aww, that’s okay Justin.” Beth said.

“Yeah, we’ll jump for you!” Lindsay said.

“Okay, then I don’t want to jump either because my butt is too important to be hurt.” Noah said.

“Wow, how lazy are you!?” Beth angrily said.

“Yeah! Put in more effort!” Lindsay agreed as they left.

“You’re both crybabies.” Eva said as she left as well while Justin smirked at Noah as he looked upset.

Confessional: Noah

“Pretty privilege.” Noah rolled his eyes.

Cut to Lindsay and Beth on the board. “If I go to that big beauty parlor in the sky, don't let Heather have my hair, 'kay?” Lindsay told Beth.

“Oh, no. Never. Uh, can I have your hair if you die?” Beth asked.

“I don't think so.” Lindsay replied as they jumped while screaming and landed on the horse.

“Look out below!” Eva yelled as she jumped off the board and landed on the horse as Lindsay and Beth got off it.

“All right! Grips and Gaffers are now tied at four each. It's up to you two to break the tie. Who wants to take one for the Gaffers?” Chris asked Leshawna and Heather who both looked reluctant to do it.

“After you, teammate.” Leshawna said as she showed Heather in front of her. Heather replied by pushing Leshawna in front of her. They both reluctantly started climbing the ladder.

Cut to Heather and Leshawna climbing. “Why is it that we have to stare at your navel all day? Put a shirt on!” Leshawna angrily told Heather.

“Oh, oh, right, right. Because we all love looking at those kumquats on your mall kiosk t-shirt.” Heather angrily replied.

“At least I have hair.” Leshawna angrily replied.

“Your afro is so big, it has its own gravity.” Heather mocked as they reached the top.

“Oh, I'll give you gravity!” Leshawna said as she shoved Heather off the platform.

“Oof!” Heather grunted as she pulled Leshawna with her as she fell and both fell while screaming.

“Where'd they go?” DJ asked when they still didn’t reached the ground after some time.

“Not there. Way up there!” Chris said as he pointed upwards to Leshawna and Heather tied in a weather vane by her pants.

“Uh-oh.” Leshawna said as her pants suddenly ripped off and she started falling, however she managed to bounce on her afro on the ground to land safely. “Whaa! Whoo! Ha, bet you're not laughing at my hair now!” she taunted Heather.

“Well, I guess you showed her. And by her, I mean the entire viewing audience!” Chris said as she pointed at Leshawna’s ripped pants.

“Grr…” Leshawna angrily said in response.

“Okay, okay. You don't gotta get my dungarees all dusty. Looks like the teams are still tied at three apiece. To the next challenge for the tiebreaker, cowpokes!” Chris said as everyone but Heather left toward the next challenge.

“Somebody better get me down now! Hello? Anyone? Ow!” Heather said as her pants ended up slipping off the vane and she fell into the ground.

Cut to in front the bar. “The hallmark of any good western is the quick-draw cowboy showdown. Captains will pick their strongest cowpoke to compete in what will likely be a fight to the death! Haha!” Chris said as he suddenly received a call. “Yello? Uh-huh. I see. Fine. Our lawyers have informed me that you may shoot until someone is mildly injured or cries like a little baby. But a fight to the death is strictly prohibited. Time to pick your cowboys.” he explained.

Confessional: Trent

“I know I said I wouldn’t do this, but Gwen needs my help, I owe her after I accidentally broke her leg.” Trent said.

“The Grips pick Owen.” Trent said.

“What? You wanna use Owen for target practice? He's a guaranteed hit.” Justin said, shocked.

“He is a little... large.” Lindsay said.

“Yep, just a little.” Noah rolled his eyes.

“Ha, I practically take up the whole road.” Owen said as he drank from some water pants while wearing cowboy pants and a hat without a shirt.

“Owen! Put a shirt on!” Heather yelled.

Confessional: Gwen

“Is he throwing challenges for me!? I do not wanna win this way!” Gwen said.

Confessional: Trent

“Am I doing the right thing? I just want what’s best for Gwen.” Trent sighed.

“Owen! We needed that water for the quick-draw cowboy showdown!” Chris whined while Owen drank the water.

“Don't look at me! I ain't lugging anymore water in this heat.” Chef said.

“Sorry, I was thirsty.” Owen apologized.

“Okay, new challenge!” Chris sighed.

Cut to everyone in a field covered by a fence. “Since Owen ruined the last competition, your final challenge of the day will be calf roping.” Chris said.

“Where are the cute little baby cows at?” DJ asked.

“There aren't any. Grips are the cowboys, Gaffers are the cattle. The cowboys rope the cattle, they win. The cattle dodge the cowboys, they win.”  Chris continued explaining.

“How do we know who's who?” Trent asked.

“Grips get to wear these stylin' cowboy hats. Gaffers get to wear... udders!” Chef said as he gave the teams their hats while chucking.

“You just had to ask.” Heather sighed.

“Sorry. I bet you'll look really cute in the hat, Gwen. Udder-ly adorable. Haha.” Trent told Gwen while she looked weirded out.

Confessional: Trent

“Udder-ly adorable? Aw, stupid, stupid! I'm totally blowing it again. Haha, thanks.” Trent said as he hit his head multiple times, leaving a mark while an intern covered it with spray.

Confessional: Harold

“I have cow boobies on my head!” Harold chuckled while wearing the udder hat.

Confessional: Duncan

“Stupid million bucks.” Duncan sighed while wearing the udder hat.

“Would the cattle care for some hay?” Chris mocked.

“Would the host care for an udder sandwich?” Duncan threat.

“I'm good. Chef will now judge the competition. Yo, Chef! Love the dress, Chefette.” Chris laughed as Chef came with a red dress and glared at him.

Cut to after Chef tied Chris to a fence. “Maybe when you learn some respect, I'll come back and untie you.” Chef said.

“I can't feel my arms. Let the calf roping begin.” Chris sighed.

The Grips began chasing the Gaffers. “Yeehaw!” Beth yelled as she managed to catch Heather with her rope.

“Oof! Where did you learn to do that?” Heather asked.

“Calf roping, baton twirling. All in the twist of the wrist.” Beth replied.

“Whoa! Oof!” DJ grunted as he was caught by Justin.

“Heh. For a big guy, you're pretty unstable.” Justin chuckled.

“Get back here! You’re just making me angrier!” Eva said as she chased Tyler.

“Yeah! What’s wrong, can’t outrun me? Oof! Aww…” Tyler sighed as he tripped on a rock while trying to run away from Eva and was caught by her.

“Pathetic.” Eva said in response to his trip.

“And that's three cows down, four more to go.” Chef said.

Lindsay tried to catch Leshawna but ended up accidentally catching a fence and being tied to it instead. “Ugh. None of this would be happening if Chris had taken me... to the mall like he promised.” Lindsay said as she tried to escape the rope.

Gwen and Trent ran into each other. Gwen surrendered, expecting to be caught but Trent ended up dropping the rope instead. “Aw, shoot. So close!” Trent badly acted.

“Grr…” Gwen growled in response to this.

Confessional: Gwen

“Okay, he’s definitely throwing, this has to stop! Why can't Trent just play fair?” Gwen angrily said as she sneezed.

Confessional: Trent

“Gwen looked pretty mad when I didn’t catch her. I guess she doesn’t want me to do this? Man, this is confusing, I should have just listened to Owen from the start.” Trent sighed.

“Can't catch me. Can't catch me.” Harold said as he ran away from Owen who was going incredibly slow.

“He's... right. I... can't... ugh…” Owen said as he collapsed while Harold got away.

“Next time, don’t drink gallons of water before a challenge!” Noah said as he ran past Owen to chase Harold.

Trent was sitting on a rock when Lindsay suddenly caught him. “Got you, cowboy!” Lindsay said.

“Lindsay, I'm on your team. Rope the cattle. You know, the people with udders?” Trent replied.

“You're funny.” Lindsay chuckled as Trent sighed.

While Harold was running from Noah, he noticed four ropes on a fence. He got them as Noah realized what he was going to do and ran away.

Confessional: Noah

“Seriously!? Could that be any more convenient!?” Noah complained.

Harold ended up catching Noah with a rope and gave the other three to Leshawna, Duncan and Gwen.

Gwen started chasing after Lindsay “Ooh!” Lindsay grunted as she was caught by Gwen. Duncan and Leshawna chased after Trent and Beth and managed to catch them while Owen collapsed from exhaustion. Harold got his rope out of Noah and started chasing Justin.

Confessional: Justin

“I just found out I have a new neck modeling contract. Apparently, I have excellent tendons. See? See, check it out. You like that?” Justin asked as he extended his next.

“Not the face! Or the neck, hands, feet, legs, knees, or anything in the chestal region.” Justin told Harold as he pointed at his entire body. He cuddled up in a ball as Harold threw the rope at him.

“Gotcha. That was too easy.” Harold said.

“You missed one!” Eva said as she tried roping Harold, however he ducked while she was caught by a rope from behind.

“Hiya, sugar baby.” Leshawna told Harold and high-fived him, revealing she was the one who roped Eva.

“Ah, forget this!” Eva angrily said and stormed off.

“Well, what do we have here? The cattle have roped the cowboys. A bit unexpected, but what the heck. The Gaffers win!” Chef announced as the Gaffers cheered. Suddenly, Duncan caught Harold with a rope.

“Ugh, aw! Uh, hello? We're on the same team!” Harold angrily said.

“What? You gonna go all medieval camp on me? Haha!” Duncan said as he covered Harold with rope.

Confessional: Harold

“I can get out of this anytime.” Harold said while fully wrapped in rope.

“You Grips are losers. And you know what happens to losers? Which Grip wants to take the heat?” Chef asked as he pulled out a burning L from a cauldron with tweezers. They all ran away except for Eva.

“Got anything with a W?” Eva asked.

Confessional: Eva

“What? I thought it would look hardcore.” Eva said.

“Legal says branding's out.” Chef said as he called someone.

“Guess I have to settle for booting one of the Grips off in the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony ever! Now, go shower. You stink. P.U.!” Chris said as he came, finally having gotten out of the rope as everyone left.

Cut to everyone in a line in front of a barrel that Harold was showering in, waiting for him to finish. “Hurry up, Harold!” Lindsay said.

“Yeah, I have to go pee real bad! Uh, of course, I'd never go in the barrel. Even I have standards!” Owen said as Heather gave him a judging look.

“Apparently, foam core and wax are a part of those standards.” Noah said.

“You can just go, you’re the last in the line.” Eva told Owen.

“Oh. Yeah.” Owen said as he ran away.

“Get a move on dork!” Duncan said as he shook the barrel.

“But I have finished sudsing my hair! Aw, ow! Soap in my eyes!” Harold said as the barrel fell.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I'd like one good reason why that punk-haired skull shirted wannabe keeps picking on poor Harold!” Leshawna angrily said.

Confessional: Duncan

“You wanna know why I pick on Harold? Here's a hint. She's about ye tall, has beautiful brown hair, and could tear you limb from limb. No it's not a bear. It's Courtney. Harold got Courtney booted last season, and humiliated me twice. Yep. Payback's a–” Duncan said as the clip suddenly ended.

Cut to Gwen in front of the showers when Trent suddenly came out of them. “What happened to bathing in a barrel like the rest of us?” Gwen asked.

“Ah, I figured I'd made enough of a fool of myself today.” Trent sighed.

“Trent, we need to talk.” Gwen told Trent.

“Aw, please don't tell me this is what I think it is.” Trent sighed.

“It's what you think it is.” Gwen replied.

“Oh come on! Why!?” Trent asked.

“Trent, you're a great guy. I mean that. But this isn't working.” Gwen replied.

“Is this because I accidentally broke your leg and called you udder-ly adorable?” Trent asked.

“No. Trent, you've been throwing challenges for me, and I need to win this fair and square, okay? Our relationship has been really confusing, I feel like we’d be better as friends.” Gwen replied.

“You found out about that? I guess I should have expected, this thing started when Chris said my team would have more members so I just picked the weaker players to give you an advantage. Does this mean?” Trent asked.

“It's over. I'm sorry.” Gwen said.

“I hear you, loud and clear. So are we still friends at least?” Trent asked.

“Yeah. I’ll see you later Trent, and sorry about this.” Gwen said.

“Nah, I’m the one who should be sorry. See you.” Trent said as they left.

“Oh, we’ll definitely see.” Justin behind the bathroom, hearing the conversation.

“See what?” Noah asked, suddenly arriving.

“Come with me, we need to talk to the team.” Justin said.

“Ugh, is this going to be another talk about how hot you are, cause if so, I’ll pass.” Noah said as the two went toward the Grips trailer.

Cut to Gwen getting out of the Gaffers trailer when she was suddenly confronted by Justin. “Tell them what I just heard you say to Trent.” Justin angrily told Gwen.

“Sorry, I can't hear you! Head cold.” Gwen said as she sneezed.

“Fine. I'll do it then. Trent's been purposefully throwing our challenges for Gwen. He even chose us for the team because he thought we were bad players.” Justin told the other Grips who were standing in front of their trailer.

“No way!” Owen gasped.

“That's so unfair.” Lindsay said.

“What! He thinks I’m weak!? You better say something before I bash your skull in!” Eva angrily said.

“Well, at least it was something important.” Noah shrugged.

“Gwen would never let Trent do that. Ever! Right, Gwen?” Beth asked Gwen.

“Uh... depends on how... there are other ways to... ugh. It's kinda true.” Gwen sighed.

“You two have been cheating!? That explains why we kept losing! I’m gonna make you pay!” Eva said as she tried to attacked Gwen but was held back by Owen.

“It wasn't my fault. I wasn't in on it! I swear!” Gwen said.

“Why should we believe you?” Justin said.

“Because I broke up with Trent.” Gwen said.

“Oh no.” Lindsay gasped.

“But I thought you two were going good?” Beth said as Owen started loudly crying.

“This, this whole thing could be a ruse! Some strategy to make it farther in the game.”

“Wow. Beauty and brains.” Noah smirked.

“I wasn't in on it, I swear!” Gwen denied.

“Why should we believe you?” Eva asked.

“Agreed. Prove it.” Justin said.

“I mean… she did try to tell Trent to focus more on the game but he ended up ignoring her and my advice… What? It’s true!” Owen said as the others gave him judging looks.

“Fine. Vote Trent off. Things have gotten way too complicated between us anyway. You'd be doing me a favor.” Gwen said.

“I still don’t believe you. You’re bluffing.” Eva accused.

“We'll see about that. Either way, you owe us, Gwen.” Justin said.

“What? No, I don’t! I never told Trent to throw challenges, I don’t care if you believe me or not!” Gwen angrily said.

“Guys, maybe we should-” Owen tried to say but was interrupted.

“Really? So you’re just gonna let us be at a disadvantage because of you and not even do anything about it?” Noah asked.

“I actually agree, that’s low. Imagine what people would think of you after this.” Justin angrily said.

“A-Alright then. I’ll throw the next challenge. Deal?” Gwen asked.

“Deal.” Justin replied while smirking as Gwen left.

“I still don’t trust her.” Eva said.

“Whatever, if she doesn’t throw the challenge, we’ll tell her team about Trent. That will ruin her reputation.” Justin replied.

“I don’t know guys, I think you’re being a bit harsh.” Owen said.

“So, all agreed on voting Trent?” Justin asked, ignoring him.

“Agreed!” Eva quickly said.

“Sure.” Noah said.

“Yup.” Lindsay and Beth nodded.

“Alright.” Owen sighed.

Confessional: Noah

“Honestly, I didn’t expect Justin to pull off something like this. I guess his IQ is 20 and not 2.” Noah said.

Cut to the award ceremony. “The votes have been cast! If you get a Gilded Chris, it means you're safe. For now. Still wearing a dress?” Chris asked Chef as he came.

“Got anything to say about it?” Chef angrily asked.

“Nope! Begin the callouts!” Chef quickly said.

“Dumb Blonde! You caught someone from your team, twice!” Chef called out Lindsay who looked confused.

“Guitar Boy, you ended up missing the horse and you failed to rope your former girlfriend.” Chef called out Trent who looked upset.

“Hot Boy and Smart Boy, you two just refused to jump on the horse!” Chef called out Noah and Justin who looked confident.

“Finally, Fat Kid. You drank all the water in the guns, causing us to change to a different tiebreaker that your team lost!” Chef called out Owen who looked nervous.

“And the Gilded Chris goes to... Lindsay and Beth.” Chris said as he tossed Lindsay and Beth their awards as they squealed.

“Owen and Eva.” he said as he tossed the two their awards. Eva looked angry while Owen looked sad.

“Justin.” he said as he tossed an award to him.

“Phew…” Justin sighed in relief.

“And last but not least…

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Noah.” Chris said as he tossed an award to him. Owen replied by hugging Justin and Noah while they hugged back when they suddenly realized what they did.

“Sorry, dudes.” Justin said.

“Sorry.” Owen said.

“Uh, sorry.” Noah said.

“What? This has to be a mistake!” Trent said.

“The only mistake here is how you threw challenges! Who’s the weak one now?” Eva angrily said.

“Oh. Well, that makes more sense. Sorry I blew it.” Trent apologized.

“No worries dude, just be less ignorant from now on.” Owen said.

“Or be less worried about pointless things.” Noah said.

“Trent, it's time to go.” Chris said.

“Can I at least say goodbye to Gwen?” Trent asked.

“Yo, Chef? A little help here?” Chris said.

“Come here kid, don’t make this hard.” Chef said as he lifted Trent and carried him to the Lame-O-Sine.

“I was going, sheesh!” Trent said.

Cut to the Lame-O-Sine. “3:10 to Crazytown. Trent is now aboard.” Chef chuckled as Trent got on the Lame-O-Sine and left with it.

Meanwhile, Chris was showing this to Gwen in the security camera room. “Did you call me in here just to make me feel bad?” Gwen asked.

“Yes. Yes I did.” Chris replied.

“Well, it worked.” Gwen said and left the room.

“My work here is done. See all you groovy cats next time on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the episode.

VOTES

Confessional:Trent

“Noah, Owen’s friends with him but he is lazy and a dick.” Trent said as he chose to eliminate Noah on the device.

Confessional: Lindsay

“I can’t believe Trevor has been throwing challenges! What kind of captain is that?” Lindsay said as she chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

Confessional: Justin

“Trent. I managed to convince the others pretty well.” Justin said as he chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

Confessional: Beth

“Trent’s a bad leader.” Beth said as she chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

Confessional: Noah

“Trent. Props to Justin for figuring him out I guess.” Noah said as he chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

Confessional: Owen

“Sorry dude, you brought this upon yourself.” Owen said as he chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

Confessional: Eva

“I swear I’m going to kill him.” Eva said as she chose to eliminate Trent on the device.

BONUS CLIP

Trent’s Lame-O-Sine Ride

“So it really stinks that I've gotta go. I thought this season, I'd go a decent way. With Gwen. Things with Gwen and I were great. You know that sweet spot in the sofa? The one you spend years carving? That's how Gwen felt to me. I guess I got too worried about stuff, and didn’t realize she was fine without me. Liking Gwen made me worried. Worried enough to lose a million bucks. Guess the Grips are better off without me, I hope they aren’t too upset about me saying they were weak. Ugh! Think my forehead needs a bit of time to heal.” Trent said as he hit his forehead onto the Lame-O-Sine.

Chapter Text

(TDA Aftermath intro)

(Flashback) “You can have my toast, Gwen.” Trent told Gwen.

(Flashback) “Oh come on, I thought it was a good movie!” Trent said.

(Flashback) “I dub thee Casa Gwen.” Trent announced.

(Flashback) “Can I at least say goodbye to Gwen?” Trent asked.

(Theme song)

Cut to Geoff and Bridgette on a stage sitting on a couch and Courtney, Ezekiel, Cody, Katie and Sadie were sitting next to them on another while there was a big audience watching them. “What's going on everyone? Welcome to the brand new, totally off-the-hook Total Drama Action Aftermath show!” Geoff said as the audience cheered.

“We're coming to you live to dish everything Total. Drama. Action!” Bridgette said.

“This is where the real action is! Yeah! I'm Geoff.” Geoff said.

“And I'm Bridgette.” Bridgette said.

“You may remember us from such series as Total Drama Island and its even more thrilling sequel, Total Drama Action! Hoo!” Geoff cheered.

“Which we were voted off of for kissing and lost out on a million bucks.” Bridgette said, annoyed.

“I still say making out makes for awesome television. But hey, now we've got our own show, and this is way more fun, right? Yeah!” Geoff said as the audience cheered.

“Right. Now we get to hang with you! And we're super stoked for the new season!” Bridgette said.

“What'd you guys think of it so far? The film lot. Totally awesome, right? We are so psyched to be here!” Geoff said as the audience applauded.

“Yeah, speak for yourselves.” Courtney said as she spoke to someone on her phone.

“I was speaking for myself. Heh. But glad you reminded us you're here. We've brought along all our peeps from last season!” Geoff said as the audience cheered.

“They may be losers, but not in our book, right Geoff?” Bridgette asked.

“Aww.” Katie awed.

“That is so sweet, you guys.” Sadie said.

“All right! We've got Cody!” Geoff waved to the camera while a clip of him being hit in the groin by a dodgeball played.

“And Ezekiel.” Bridgette said as Ezekiel waved to the camera while a clip of him picking his nose played.

“Haha! Yo, homeschool! Haha! Let's give it up for Katie and Sadie!” Geoff chuckled.

“Oh my gosh!” Katie squealed.

“We are so super excited to be here!” Sadie asaid.

“And a shoutout to Courtney!” Geoff said as Courtney continued talking on her phone.

“We are gonna sue the pants off this show, Michael.” Courtney angrily told whoever she was talking to.

“Uh... whoops. Uh, okay.” Geoff chuckled.

“We've also got a ton of texts and emails from all of you!” Bridgette said.

“Plus, we'll have a couple of you on webcam, which is super, super cool.” Geoff said.

“Izzy, I mean Kaleidoscope, will be here!” Bridgette said.

“And of course, Trent!” Geoff said as the audience applauded.

“Aww, I feel bad for Trent. What happened to him is just so wrong.” Bridgette said.

“We felt so terrible for Trent. Like, he went nuttier than my sister's peanut allergy. Hi, Cindy!” Sadie said as she waved at the camera.

“But he's still so super cute! I barf in my mouth a little every time I think of what happened to him.” Katie said.

“Oh my gosh, me too!” Sadie said as she gagged.

“Uh, okay, cool. Thanks for that. It's almost time to welcome our first guest. But first... take a look.” Geoff said as he opened the TV to play clips of Izzy.

“Izzy's time on Total Drama Action may have been short…” Bridgette begun explaining.

“But it was a real wild ride.” Geoff said.

“The girl got a monster crush.” Bridgette continued.

“And later, suffered a serious blow at the hands of Chef Hatchet.

“Chef thinks he's killed her. Look how freaked he is!” Bridgette chuckled as Geoff drew a red circle on Chef’s face.

“Serves the dude right. Oh! Watch! Love this part. Check her out! Hilarious, man! Ultimately, it was Duncan that killed Izzy's chances when the two took to the stage.” Geoff continued.

“Ooh, the drama. But ever the diva, Izzy will be back for more! Our first guest has impersonated a grizzly and was caught peeing in a pool. Currently number eight on the RCMP's most wanted... Izzy, A.K.A Kaleidoscope!” Bridgette said as the audience cheered. A monitor opened to show Izzy eating crackers backstage.

“Oh! Mm! I'm on TV!” Izzy said as she accidentally spat out the crackers crumbs. “Oh, oops. Cracker crumbs, you get back here!” Izzy said as she grabbed the crackers as they floated in the air and got onstage as the audience cheered.

“E-Scope!” Geoff and Bridgette greeted as Izzy sat on the left couch.

“Hi, Bridgette. Hi, Geoff. So glad to be here.” Izzy said.

“Awesome to have you! But bummer about the show. Gotta be tough losing out on a million big ones.” Geoff said.

“Yeah, well... you would know.” Izzy replied as the audience gasped.

“Whoa. Harsh much!?” Geoff replied.

“Hi, you guys!” Izzy said as she greeted the peanut gallery.

“Hi, E-Scope!” Katie and Sadie said as the audience applauded.

“Hi, everyone out there in TV land! Graham Cracker! That's my old boyfriend Graham! He got a restraining order against me last year. Remember that, Graham? So funny. Okay. We were in the courtroom and the judge was all like, "You cannot come within two hundred meters of the plaintiff or you shall suffer the consequences of this courtroom." The long distance was hard, but we made it work. By the way, Graham, you should get new blinds for your room. What are they made of, lead? I couldn't see a thing with my binoculars! Haha! Miss you, Graham Cracker! I am totally into crackers right now. They're just so flaky! Haha.” Izzy said as she ate crackers.

“Kind of like someone we know.” Bridgette said.

“So, Izzy. How did it feel to be the first one voted off the show?” Geoff asked.

“I don't know, Geoff. How did it feel?” Izzy asked, which shocked Geoff.

“We were the first ones voted off the show.” Bridgette whispered to Geoff.

“Was it disappointing? Humiliating? A sobering experience, Geoff?” Izzy asked.

“Sure, it was disappointing, I mean... it's like you got dreams for this money and... hey man, I'm supposed to be asking the questions!” Geoff angrily said.

“My life is an open book. Well, not yet, but it will be once I write it. And you open the book. Haha.” Izzy laughed.

“What went through your head after being voted off?” Bridgette asked.

“When you realize you're not getting a Gilded Chris Award, well I can't lie to you.” Izzy said and started crying.

“Wow, it's that painful to remember?” Bridgette asked.

“No, I just can't lie to you. I was outfitted with a lie deterrent microchip that sends shock waves at the first hint of dishonesty. That's a really nice top, Bridge. Ow! Haha.” Izzy said as suddenly she was jolted by a chip while the audience laughed.

“Pretty sure you lied before, but okay. So, what exactly did losing out on the Gilded Chris mean to you?” Geoff asked.

“It means I missed out on that buttery chocolate statuette. Ooh, I once took an art class sculpting chocolate nudes, my instructor said I had a real flare for cocoa. Ow! Okay, okay, okay. He said I was totally loco. Hahaha. That's what he actually said.” Izzy explained as she got jolted.

“I think it's time we play a fun little game called "Truth or Hammer"!” Geoff said as the audience cheered while the Truth or Hammer intro played. “Haha. Works like this. We ask you a question, and if you get the wrong answer, a huge hammer will swing down and knock you clear out of your chair! Cool?” he asked.

“If my implant doesn't get me, the hammer will!” Izzy laughed alongside the audience.

“Should we give it a test run?” Geoff asked as he made the hammer swing, however Izzy managed to  dodge it.

“Haha. Missed me!” Izzy chuckled.

“Nice one, E-Scope! Bridge? A question, please?” Geoff asked Bridgette.

“Uh, yeah, okay. Season two started off so well for you. Where'd things go wrong?” 

“I think it was when I turned down that secret alliance with Chef.” Izzy said as the audience gasped.

“You mean... Chef actually tried to form a secret alliance with you? Was that the thing you called a “date”?” Geoff asked as he ducked, expecting the hammer but it never came.

“Uh-huh. He said he'd help me win this thing if I shared the money with him.” Izzy said as the audience gasped.

“Aw... Huh? Wait, I think we've got a never-before-seen clip! Awesome!” Geoff said as he played a clip where Chef was talking to Izzy on the tv.

“I'll help you man up and win this thing. We split the prize money fifty-fifty.” Chef told Izzy.

“Hiya!” Izzy said as she kicked him in the chest.

“Ooh!” Chef grunted as he crashed into something off-screen.

“Oh, I don't think so!” Izzy laughed while an intern looked at her in fear as the clip ended.

“Whoa!” Geoff said in shock as the audience gasped.

“I can't believe Chef did that!” Bridgette said.

“Awesome impact! Ooh! Check it.” Geoff said as he replayed the clip and drew a red circle on Izzy’s foot when she kicked Chef.

“Oh, look at that poor guy!” Bridgette said, talking about the intern.

“Dude thinks he's next!” Geoff laughed.

“I would never hurt that intern. Whoa! Hah, nearly got me that time.” Izzy said and jumped over the hammer as it tried to hit her. The intern, who was there, saw this and ran away.

“So then what happened?” Geoff asked Izzy.

“My guess is that Chef went and made a demon deal with DJ. Yeah, I think Chef threw the acting challenge with Duncan so DJ's team won and I lost. But, hey, what do I know?” Izzy replied.

“A lot, apparently.” Geoff said, shocked.

“Let's hear from a viewer now! Gluepunks350 asks, "Do you think DJ will get busted?"” Bridgette said as she read some mail.

“Well, I don't know about DJ, but I busted my arm once. Yeah, look, now I'm double jointed. I'm doing it! Backwards! Ow!” Izzy said as she snapped her arms.

“Uh… Should we move on to Trent?” Geoff asked.

“Yeah! On to Trent!” Izzy said as the audience cheered.

“Trent is such a stand-up guy. He did not deserve what happened.” Bridgette said.

“Oh, totally not!” Sadie ahgreed.

“Gwen had no reason to break up with him.” Bridgette continued.

“Whoa. Back up, Bridge. Couples break up. Gwen said she thought they’d be better as friends.” Geoff said.

“Trent lost out on a million bucks because of Gwen.” Bridgette agreed.

“Heh. So? Gwen went behind Trent's back and told his team to vote him off. That doesn't mean…” Geoff said as the audience suddenly gasped. “Whoa, what?” he said, surprised at the audience’s reaction.

“Aw, man! Wha... Are you kidding? Gwen did what?! This is a joke, right?!” Trent said backstage, being shown into the audience by the tv.

“Whoa. Did someone not tell the dude?! Oh. Sorry, man.” Geoff apologized.

“Poor Trent.” Bridgette said.

“Man, I probably should have checked if he knew or not. That was harsh. Tough break. Gwen may have asked Trent's team to vote him off, but dude was purposefully losing all their challenges for no reason. They would've done it anyway.” Geoff shrugged as the audience cheered.

“Haha. Maybe. But Gwen stabbed Trent in the back, she dumped him, and told his team to vote him off the show to cover her own butt. That's low.” Bridgette said.

“Uh, excuse me? I think Gwen should pay! So should Trent eh?” Ezekiel suddenly angrily said, weirding everyone out.

“Trent isn't innocent in this. What about the time he kissed Heather? Gwen was totally wrecked, remember?” Geoff said.

“I remember! Trent totally cheated on Gwen first season.” Sadie gasped.

“That was Heather's fault. She tricked Trent into kissing her!” Bridgette replied.

“He still trusted her more than his own girlfriend! Besides, he seemed to be enjoying kissing another hot girl.” Geoff argued.

“She used his diary to convince him, and only threw challenges because he thought that was what she wanted!” Bridgette argued.

“Gwen told him not to do that, Owen did as well, he just got the idea to throw them due to being paranoid.” Geoff argued.

“Hey, did I show you guys that thing I can do with my eyelids?” Izzy said as she interrupted their conversation by pulling her eyelids.

“Well, I guess we can continue this after a short break.” Bridgette said.

“It’s near commercial time anyway.” Geoff agreed.

“Ooh, ad time! I hate ads! We'll be right back!” Izzy said as the screen faded to black.

Cut to Chef on a desk. “This episode of the TDA Aftershow was brought to you by Chef's Roadkill Cafe, where Sundays are "Bring Your Own Meat"! You hit it, we spit it.” Chef advertised as he cut some meat.

Cut back to the aftermath. “We're back! We're talking Gwen and Trent with Geoff and Bridgette. We were just in the middle of debating who was right between Gwen and Trent, it was super insane! Reminds me of the time when I had the most amazing night with this guy a year ago. It was so good I came in 15 seconds and as I turned to look at him out of embarrassment, he put his lips to my ear and whispered "at least you lasted longer than Brajack at world’s.”

“Uh, sure.” Geoff said, weirded out.

“Okay. Seems our lovebirds can't agree on this. Bridgette's on…” Izzy began.

“Team Trent.” Bridgette finished.

“And Geoff is on…” Izzy continued.

“Team Gwen. Woo. Hoo.” Geoff cheered.

“We need help settling this team battle of the exes. So, thanks for all your texts and emails! Oh, and uh, feel free next time to use ESP. I'm psychotic. Heh.” Izzy chuckled.

“I think you mean "psychic".” Bridgette said.

“I'm pretty sure my therapist says "psychotic". Okay, heh. Should we check on Trent first?” Izzy said as the tv started showing footage of the backstage while Geoff and Bridgette looked weirded out.

“Man, I can’t believe Gwen would do that! I thought she said we could be friends!” Trent said and started crying.

“Uh... how about a video? Okay!” Izzy said as a montage of Trent and Gwen’s relationship played.

“A look at Gwen and Trent's relationship. Check it out.” Bridgette said.

“Aw, young love.” Geoff said and tried to kiss Bridgette but she pushed him back.

“Well, maybe later. Trent only had eyes for Gwen when he sang her a song at the talent show. What a sweetheart.” Bridgette explained as clips of Trent playing his guitar played.

“Aww.” Courtney, Katie and Sadie awed.

“Yeah, he was a real sweetheart, when Gwen was buried alive and Trent forgot to dig her up!” Geoff said as clips of Trent running away from the mime while Gwen was buried underground played.

“The beach incident was totally forgotten until Heather came up with a plan to kiss Trent in front of Gwen.” Bridgette said as clips of Trent and Heather kissing played.

“Gwen was devastated.” Geoff said.

“So was Trent. Plus, Trent made it up to Gwen by supporting her in the final challenge.” Bridgette said.

“He ran alongside her carrying a rock. Who even does that?” Geoff said.

“It was a sweet thing to show he cared and it won Gwen over.” Bridgette replied.

“Once on the film lot, Gwen and Trent's hookup didn't last long.” Geoff explained.

“Forced onto opposite teams, the stress of competition finally got to them.” Bridgette explained.

“Yeah, Trent decided to throw challenges for no reason.” Geoff said.

“Uh, so he cared a bit too much. Gwen dumped him despite him trying his best for her and told his team to vote him off!” Bridgette argued.

“He was sabotaging his team's challenges, The Grips would've voted him off anyway! Dude did not deserve to win the million bucks. Gwen was thrown into a hard situation without doing anything to deserve it!” Geoff argued.

“Okay, time to settle this. Either we talk, or we thumb wrestle.” Izzy told them. Geoff tried to thumb wrestle but Bridgette refused.

“Talk.” Bridgette said as Geoff looked upset.

“Okay, we know how you two feel. Let's hear from everyone else.” Izzy said and asked the peanut gallery.

“At first, I was totally on Team Trent. I mean, poor guy. But seeing that video reminded me of how devastated Gwen was when Trent kissed Heather.” Sadie said.

“You mean when Heather kissed Trent.” Katie replied.

“Same thing!” Sadie replied.

“Uh, no it is not. That's like saying you got our fav blue swimsuit in the second grade before I did, when I got it first.”

“You did not!” Sadie angrily said.

“Did too!” Katie angrily replied.

“I'm just upset they broke up, I spent a lot of time trying to set them up.” Cody said.

“I'm on Team Gwen. Not because I like her, but because Trent is an idiot who threw challenges and got himself voted out. By choice.” Courtney said.

“Maybe it's time we bring out Trent.” Izzy said as the tv started playing footage of Trent crying and singing a song backstage.

“You went behind my back, In the worst kind of attack! Aw, now you find me gone, I'm just so upset I’m going to cry all day! Huh?” Trent said as he noticed that he was on due to the audience cheering.

“Our next guest was unceremoniously dumped by his girlfriend and cheated out of a million bucks! Please welcome Trent!” Bridgette said as Trent got on the stage and took a seat next to Izzy as the audience cheered. “We're live on the TDA Aftermath with Trent, everyone!” she continued.

“Good to have you on the show, dude. Brutal about before. Sorry if I was too harsh on you.” Geoff said.

“It's cool. I agreed with you a lot honestly.” Trent replied.

“So, what happened, Trent?” Bridgette asked.

“Uh, I'm not really sure. Things were going alright until Gwen and I were split on different teams and Chris said I’d have more teammates. I chose all the weak people to not make it disadvantageous. Then she and Duncan started hanging out, I got suspicious since I didn’t trust Duncan due to him being a juvie inmate and all.” Trent explained.

“Ugh. Duncan is so gonna get it.” Courtney angrily said.

“Then the competition set in.” Trent said.

“And something else.” Bridgette said.

“You mean, how I started throwing challenges?” Trent replied.

“Yup, right on the money! Careful how you answer this, 'cause a great, big hammer can come down and knock you right out of your pants.” Geoff chuckled.

“Huh? Hammer?” Trent asked.

“Yup, producers added it for more tension. Be careful dude.” Geoff replied.

“Alright. Uh, I guess somewhere I decided Gwen was more important than the money.”

“Oh, come on. Where's that hammer? It was a million bucks, dude.” Geoff said as he ducked, expecting the hammer to hit him.

“We gave up the million bucks!” Bridgette said.

“I don't know, I guess I just lost my game. Really let my team down. Sorry, Grips. I guess they did have a right to be mad, especially since I called them weak behind their backs.” Trent sighed as the audience awed.

“I gotta ask you why you didn’t trust Duncan dude, sure he’s a criminal but he didn’t do anything bad to you.” Geoff said.

“Well,  it was just because when I was young, my mom was killed by a criminal. I hated criminals ever since, I would never want someone I’m close to, like Gwen, to talk to one. It’s like how I think nine is my lucky number due to the train grandpa gave me.” Trent said as the audience awed.

“Oh, I am so on Team Trent.” Katie said as she sniffled.

“Me too!” Sadie said as the audience cheered.

“Man, that’s deep.” Cody said.

“Whatever, he still threw the challenges, he deserved to be voted. Duncan’s not going to kill anyone anyway, he had no reason to be worried.” Courtney said as she talked to someone on her phone.

“Uh, We've got a lot of emails here. Snowgirl writes, "Trent, what kind of girl are you into?" Oh.”  Bridgette asked as she read a letter.

“It was a girl like Gwen. Guess I'm gonna have to find a new type.” Trent sighed.

“Oh, me Trent!” Sadie said as she raised her hand.

“No, me, Trent!” Katie said as she raised her hand.

“Sorry, girls, but it's time to check in on our webcams! We've got Ginger from Sudbury! What's up, Ginger?” Geoff said as a young nerdy looking girl in her room was shown on the tv.

“Trent! I'd love it if you thought too much about me! Haha!” Ginger said as Trent looked weirded out.

“There you go, another admirer.” Geoff chuckled.

“Uh, yeah.” Trent said.

“Thanks, Ginger! We've also got Steve the... Yeti? From Vancouver!” Bridgette said as a Sasquatch in a forest was shown on the tv.

“How's it going, dude?” Geoff asked.

“Chris McLean is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?! You stink!” Steve angrily said.

“Yo, Chris! If I wanted to take a hot tub by myself, I-- Ooh, you on the webcam?” Chef said as he popped up on the screen.

“Chris?” Geoff and Bridgette asked.

“Yeah, looks like someone wanted camera time on an episode that he wasn’t supposed to be on. Oh, and by the way, don't believe a word Izzy says. Girl's crazy.” Chef said as the audience laughed and he closed the camera.

“Ppft, ol’ Cheffy doesn’t know what he’s talking about, you can trust me! I have a lie detector chip, remember?” Izzy said.

“That didn’t go on when you said you wouldn’t hurt the intern.” Cody called out.

“I wouldn’t! Ow! Oof!” Izzy said as she got fully electrocuted by the chip and was then hit by the hammer.

Suddenly, a phone on the desk rang. “Ah! And we've got a call! Hello?” Geoff asked as he picked up the phone.

“Why do you keep talking about Gwen and Trent? Get with the times, dawg! All my homies are on Team Zeke!” Ezekiel, who was badly disguising his voice, said from the phone.

“You're on Team Zeke? Why?” 

“Zeke was robbed and should've won the hundred grand eh? And anyone who disagrees should–” Ezekiel said from the phone as everyone noticed it was him.

“Zeke!” Bridgette angrily said as Ezekiel quickly hid the phone while the audience laughed.

“Oh! Speaking of wacky hijinks, it's time for... That's Gonna Leave a Mark!” Geoff said as the That's Gonna Leave a Mark! intro played while the audience cheered.

“The humiliation never ends.” Bridgette said.

“Dudes, here's what you didn't get to see on the show.” Geoff said.

A clip of Izzy and Heather walking backstage of the Gaffer set played when suddenly a stage light fell on Heather.

“Looks like it's lights out for Heather.” Bridgette said as Geoff drew a circle around the stage light..

“I'll say. And here he's about to take it again!” Geoff said as an image of Duncan about to be crushed by the giant monster was shown. “Trent, I know you wanna lay the guy out for what he said to Gwen, but I think the monster's about to beat you to the punch!” Geoff said as he drew clown makeup on Duncan and then played the footage to show Duncan being crushed and drew his limbs under the foot while the audience laughed.

A clip of Lindsay being bitten by a crab while building the sandcastle played. ““Ouch!” Geoff chuckled and drew a circle around the crab as the audience laughed.

A clip of Beth accidentally tying herself with a rope in the pen played. “I don't even know what to draw for that one!” Beth said.

A clip of Tyler hitting the electrical wires while gliding with his jacket played. He ended up falling down into a thorny bush. “Wow! Double ouch!” Geoff said as he drew a circle around the bush.

A clip of Gwen falling off the diving board played. She ended up missing the horse and fell into the ground instead, creating a giant crater where she landed. “Ow! Now that’s got to hurt!” Geof said as he outlined the crater.

A clip of Chef slipping and tripping on the alien set played. “Now that's gonna leave a mark!” Geoff said as he drew a circle around Chef while the audience cheered.

“Oh, that was brutal.” Geoff said as he laughed.

“Glad that wasn't me.” Bridgette said.

“Do you guys think I could sing a song? It's something I wrote after Gwen and I broke up.” Trent asked.

“Oh, for sure, Trent.” Bridgette said as the crowd applauded.

“You ripped my heart out of my soul, You never text me back anymore, Now, I remember the nights we stared into the sky, But now you make me feel like dirt, And though I never told you that summer, girl, You were my entire world, But now you're gone…” Trent sung as he played the guitar while the audience cheered.

“Bridge, can we kiss now?” Geoff asked, moved by the song.

“For sure!” Bridgette said as they started making out while the audience awed.

“You guys are lucky you've got such a healthy, well-balanced– Relationship...” Trent said as their kissing got more aggressive.

“Could we get that hammer out here? I guess that's a wrap. Geoff and Bridgette will see you next time!” Izzy said.

“If they don't get fired. Dude.” Trent told Geoff, trying to get him to finish.

“Mm, we got a huge season coming up.” Geoff said while kissing Bridgette.

“Which means, we'll be coming to you live for the next Aftermath!” Bridgette continued as she kissed Geoff.

“Mwah! Don't forget to join Chris next time for the most dramatically filling episode of Total. Drama. Mm!” Geoff said and continued making out.

“Accione!” Izzy finished.

Cut to after everyone left, but Bridgette and Geoff were still there. “Ahem.” An intern said as he came to clean the room, signaling them to get out.

“Mm?” Geoff and Bridgette asked as they raised their legs so the intern could clean under them. The intern rolled his eyes and started cleaning.

“Mm!” Geoff said as he kissed Bridgette

“Mm!” Bridgette said as she kissed him back while he chuckled as the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Trent’s Aftermath After-Clip

Sadie and Katie were standing in front of a door. “Trent? Trent!” Sadie asked as she knocked on the door.

“Shh, he might hear us.” Katie said.

“Duh. That's why we're knocking.” Sadie replied.

“Oh my gosh, isn't Trent like, so cute?” Katie asked.

“Oh, totally. Too bad he's taken.” Sadie replied.

“Trent doesn't have a girlfriend.” Katie said.

“Uh, yeah he does. He just doesn't know it yet.” Sadie replied.

“Who?” Katie asked.

“Me!” Sadie replied.

“You? You fully stole him from me!” Katie angrily said.

“Did not!” Sadie replied.

“Did too!” Katie replied.

“Did not!” Sadie replied.

“Yuh-huh!” Katie replied.

Meanwhile Trent snuck away from the room when they were distracted. “Shh.” Trent whispered to the camera as he hid in a hallway. “Phew, I’m safe from those two annoying weirdo clones for now. I can’t believe how much sympathy they gave me in the aftermath, it was nice but I hope they won’t be too harsh on Gwen when she comes. I tried looking at my fan mail but it was mostly creepy stuff 12 year old girls wrote. I’m honestly hoping me and Gwen can get back together, I already miss her.” Trent explained.

“Trent!” Katie yelled from away.

“Ah! Gotta go!” Trent said as he ran away while Katie and Sadie chased after him.

Chapter Text

“Last week, the dry desert heat baked our favorite partners like roadkill on the blacktop.” Chris began the recap. “But crispy bottoms or not, they still had to mount their ancient steed... from a hundred foot platform! Haha. But that wasn't all. A calf-roping contest had the teams lasso each other. When Trent's crazy love act led him to throw challenges for Gwen, she gave him the old heave-ho. And then she got busted by his furious teammates, which led to some Total Drama. Well, poor old deputy Trent found himself hitching a ride on the 3:10 to Looneyville. The Screaming Gaffers won the west, and only ten remain! Stay tuned to find out who will win this week. Could it be... the Grips?” he continued as he pointed at the Grips who were sitting in front of their trailer.

“Hey, we heard that!” Owen angrily said.

“We’re not losers! Unless someone else decides to throw challenges, we’ll win all the challenges left!” Eva said.

“Right. See for yourself next on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris finished the recap

(Theme song)

The guys were sleeping in their trailer when suddenly Chris blew an air horn, waking them up. “Huh!” Duncan grunted as he woke up.

Confessional: Noah

“I still don’t get why we have to wake up so early. Does he love torturing us that much? I mean… probably yeah, in hindsight the answer to that question was pretty obvious.” Noah said.

“Whiz dibs, I called it. Hey, a little help?” Duncan said as he tried to open the door but couldn’t.

“This is day twelve of my manicure. To risk anymore cuticle damage would be madness.” Justin said while laying in his bed with a face mask while mini fans blew wind at him.

“I’m a skinny dweeb, what do you think I can do that you can’t?” Noah said.

“Dudes, I got this.” Owen said as he started ramming into the door.

“Uh-oh.” Harold said, fearing that he would fart due to over-exhausting himself.

Confessional: Harold

“Rule number one, do not wake Owen's beast within first thing in the morning. Or at any other time of the day.” Harold said.

“Come on!” Owen said as he kept tackling the door.

“Owen, we had cowboy beans last night! You're seriously risking a toxic gas leak!” Harold said as he covered his nose with his pajamas while the other guys looked scared.

“That's all I am to you? Some kind of human fart machine?” Owen angrily asked.

“Ah, we just value our lives is all, all right big guy?” Noah said as he patted him in the back.

“Aw, I love you guys. And I promise I'll never ever blow another morning– Starting now.” Owen said as he let a small fart escape.

“Let’s just hope that you don’t. We just need to find a way to escape.” Duncan said.

Cut to the girls cabin. Eva was punching the door to break it but couldn’t. “Ught, stupid door won’t budge!” Eva angrily said.

“They've gotta open the door, right?! I have claustrophobia.” Gwen said in fear.

“Oh, boo hoo. This trailer is as tight as the space between Lindsay's ears.” Heather mocked as she knocked on the window.

“Aw, thank you!” Lindsay said, thinking it was a compliment.

“That was an insult you nitwit.” Eva said.

“I’m just going to take it as a compliment.” Lindsay replied.

“Up there! Maybe one of us can squeeze through!” Gwen said as she pointed at a hatch in the ceiling and then looked at Heather mischievously.

“What?” Heather asked.

Confessional: Gwen

“Ever since the whole awful Trent thing went down, I've just been waiting for karma to bite me in the butt. But what could I do? He was my weakness, my Achilles heel. We all have one. And luckily, Heather has a whole bunch of useful ones. Glittery objects, new hair products, shameless flattery.” Gwen flattered.

“Of course, only the toothpickiest of us is gonna fit through that vent. I'm talking model thin. Though surely, the most athletic of us would wanna show off her natural sleekness.” Gwen said.

“For once, I agree with you. I'll do it.” Heather agreed.

“Sometimes, I really wish I was one of the guys.” Leshawna said.

“They probably aren’t having an easy time either.” Eva replied.

Cut to the guys cabin where they were all trying to reach the hatch. “Owen, you'll never fit!” Harold told Owen as he tried to reach the top.

“I can try my best!” Owen replied while he was being held by the other guys.

“It's not about trying, it's just a scientific fact.” Harold said as Justin climbed on top of Owen.

“A hangnail!” Justin screamed as he looked at his hand.

“No time, Justin. Climb! Climb!” Harold replied.

“Make yourself useful for once!” Noah agreed.

“There'd be a lot more to climb if Mount DJ was here.” Justin said.

“Yeah, where is DJ anyway?” Duncan said.

“I don’t think he even sleeps in the cabin anymore.” Tyler said.

“Wait! I have a new plan!” Owen said as the guys all look scared by this.

Cut to the kitchen where Chef was with DJ. “Okay, maggot! I'm gonna ride you 'til your confidence coats the back of a spoon and your self-respect forms them peas! No more mama's boy, DJ. Watch and learn.” Chef said as he cut some vegetables.

“Uh, what is that? What are you cooking?” DJ asked, wearing a pan on his head.

“Taste perfection, boy. What you're tasting is pride, son. The most important virtue in a man's life. Now stir that pot!” Chef said as he put all the vegetables in a pot, fed them to DJ, then left.

“If Chef wants pride, mama's gonna show him pride with her special flavor blend. Mama spice.” DJ said as he pulled out a can of spice and put it in the soup.

Confessional: DJ

“Mama spice is Mama’s favorite. It can make the most foul garbage taste good! Don’t ask what it’s made of though, it’s a secret.” DJ explained.

Cut to Tyler, Duncan, Harold, Noah and Justin holding Owen like a battering ram.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Duncan asked.

“Kiverahhh!” Owen replied by yelling.

“Here goes nothing.” Noah sighed as they all ran toward the door, however it was suddenly opened by Chris.

“Ow!” Owen grunted as they all crashed outside.

“Glad you guys could make it!” Chris chuckled.

“Screw you McLean!” Duncan replied.

“Where are the girls?” Tyler asked, noticing their cabin door was still closed.

“Over here! We got out by opening the hatch.” Gwen said as the girls stood on top of their trailer.

“I was the one who did that.” Heather said.

“We all held you up though.” Lindsay replied.

“Whatever. How are we going to get down?” Heather asked.

“Just jump.” Eva said as she jumped off and landed on the ground while the rest followed her, however some accidentally fell off.

“Hope you all enjoyed your first taste of the gulag.” Chris said.

“Gulag? I didn't get any gulag!” Lindsay replied.

“Well, prepare for it to get a whole lot worse. Because today... is prison flick day!” Chris said.

“Aw, man…” Tyler sighed.

“Aww…” Beth, Owen, Lindsay and Justin sighed.

“Lovely. At least we've got the only actual ex-con on our team.” Heather said while looking at Duncan.

“It was only juvenile detention, don't get too excited.” Duncan replied.

“Ah, prison. The confinement. The claustrophobia. The vile, nasty food. And you're always looking over your shoulder 'cause Mr. Killer Dude wants to cut ya for taking the last tater tot! And no matter how hard you try, digging out spoonfuls of dirt, year after year, there's no escape! Unless you get voted off, of course.” Chris explained.

Confessional: Harold

“Talk about overkill. This place is plenty prison-like already. Not that I'm complaining. I mean, I should probably be locked up for the ladies' sake anyways.” Harold shrugged.

Cut to the prison set. “Lock down, people! Let's get this challenge started! Teams, take a prisoner from the competition! And Chef -- I mean... warden, lock 'em up.” Chris explained.

“Choose who you want to get locked up and eat the disgusting slop you cook! You have 30 seconds!” Chef said.

“It's in the bag. Gwen owes us!” Justin told his team.

“But what if locking her up means she's out of the challenge though?” Beth asked.

“But we can't know, remember? We need to win this, losing is not an option!” Eva replied.

“Let's flip a coin! Heads, we win. Tails, victory is ours!” Lindsay said.

“Whatever, let’s just choose Gwen. I don’t remember the others being easily disgustable.” Noah said.

“Well… I mean… I guess that makes sense?” Owen said.

Confessional: Owen

“I still don’t like that we’re doing blackmail, it makes me feel bad. I mean, Heather did that to Harold in season one and it just ended up making everything worse! But we really need to win this, or else we don’t have a shot.” Owen said.

“Remember when Lindsay locked herself in the bathroom in season one?” Heather asked her team.

“She lost it! Drank everyone's shampoos in case any of them were magic potions and then barfed on herself.” Gwen said.

“Uh, shouldn’t she be poisoned from that?” Tyler asked.

“Just go with it.” DJ replied.

“She'll crack for sure, we’re definitely choosing her.” Duncan agreed.

“I don’t know, maybe someone else? Maybe Owen?” Tyler asked.

“Owen!? Have you seen him at all? He’s the worst option to pick!” DJ replied, baffled.

“Look dude, I know she’s your semi-girlfriend but he’s the best option.” Harold said.

“Alright. Doesn’t mean I have to like this though.” Tyler replied.

“Time’s up dirtbags! Choices? Gaffers?” Chef asked.

“Lindsay.” Heather said.

“Yay, I win!” Lindsay cheered.

“Grips? Now remember, this is an important choice. Especially for perennial losers like yourselves.” Chris asked.

“Oh, we shouldn't have any trouble beating... Gwen.” Noah said smugly as Gwen gulped in fear.

“Today's first game is... the prison chow-llenge! Each team of prison chefs whips up the foulest, nastiest, most barf inducing slop this side of Alcatraz. Gwen and Lindsay have to stomach as much as they can. Last one to power-hurl, wins!” Chris explained.

“I-I can't! I'm innocent, I tell you! Innocent!” Lindsay said.

“That's what they all say.” Chef said as he threw her and Gwen in the cages and then locked them.

Confessional: Gwen

“I know I owe the Grips because of Trent's cheating,but even if we forget Lindsay's shampoo incident, last night she nearly hurled because Leshawna's gums smelled too "minty fresh". How am I gonna puke before that?!” Gwen said.

Cut to the teams making the food while Gwen and Lindsay were in the cages. “Gross. Oh no.” Lindsay said as she looked at the food and gagged.

“The reward better be worth it.” Gwen sighed.

“Have I ever let you down? Wait, scratch that. Anyway, the winning team gets this!” Chris said as Chef showed a gold shovel.

“Ooh, look at how shiny it is! I so totally want one!” Lindsay said when she saw the shovel.

“What are we supposed to do with a shovel?” Noah asked.

Confessional: Harold

“Everybody knows more wars have been won with a shovel than a sword. Give a man a hole, and what does he have? Nothing. But give a man a shovel, and he can dig a hole to contain the nothing.” Harold said proudly.

“Prisoners ready? And... colonate! Duncan goes right for the roaches! Tyler tops it off with some slimy anchovy paste, and oh! Harold comes with the horse lips!” Chris said as Duncan put roaches in the bowl while Tyler dumped in anchovy paste while Harold put in some horse lips.

“Where do you even get these things?” Leshawna asked.

“They're obviously imported. Gosh!” Harold said and walked away.

“How's a self-respecting Chef supposed to serve that ? Mama spice. And mama would be proud. I think.” DJ said as he put mama spice in the slop.

Meanwhile, Beth put some hair balls into the Grips bowl. “Nice work, Beth. I knew I could count on you.” Justin complimented.

“Hah…” Beth said as she blushed as collapsed, accidentally dropping her retainer in the bowl.

“Aww. A whole lot of dead hair going into the Grips concoction. Oh! And what's this? On top of spaghetti, All covered in flakes! And Gwen has to eat it! 'Cause thems just the breaks!” Chris sang as Owen ruffled his head to make dandruff fall in the ball while Eva put in some maggots. “Time's up! And jailbirds, hope your appetites are primed!” he said.

“Feeling queasy?” Justin asked as he gave Gwen the food.

“We have the braised horse lips with the goat brains fricassee and the fish gut reduction, topped off of course with the toenail clippings. Bon appétit.” Harold said as he gave Lindsay the food.

“Horse lips are low fat and low carb, right?” Lindsay asked.

“Just imagine you’re eating ice cream!” Tyler said.

“Aw, thanks Darryl!” Lindsay replied.

“It's me, Tyler! Season one, you and I were together!” Tyler angrily said.

“You must have me confused with someone else. The only guy I was ever into on the show was Tyler, and he's on the other team.” Lindsay replied as Tyler looked confused.

“Are you maggots ready?! One minute to down that chow! And... dig in!” Chef said as Gwen and Lindsay started eating. Gwen tried to make herself gag to puke, but failed.

Confessional: Gwen

“I was imagining every horrifying barf-worthy thing I could. Drinking the janitor's mop water. The time my brother puked on my neck on the Tilt-a-Whirl. When I was babysitting and the dog ate the kid's diapers and then licked my face. But nothing was working!” Gwen said.

“Wow. That's.,. delicious! It's like I'm eating an angel's wings!” Lindsay said as she ate the food. This confused everyone except DJ who looked proud as Lindsay digged into the food.

Gwen ate the food and ended up choking on something. She spat it out of the cage, revealing it was Beth’s retainer. “Thanks! My dad would've killed me! I better wash it first.” Beth said as she got in and ran away. 

“Ugh…” Lindsay said as seeing the disgusting retainer made her so grossed out that she puked on Gwen.

“No!” Gwen yelled as she was hit by the puke.

“Gwen keeps it down for the Screaming Gaffers and wins the reward!” Chris announced as the Gaffers except Gwen cheered. “Aw, don't worry, Gwen. You and the Gaffers have the golden shovel. They'll be thanking you in the elimination challenge!” he continued as Chef gave Leshawna the shovel.

“Ugh, that was so gross! Can I have some more of those horse lips?” Lindsay asked.

“Thanks, Gwen. So much for our deal.” Noah said as he passed by Gwen, making her look guilty.

“What were you and that dork just talking about?” Heather asked.

“The weather. Windy and cold with an eighty percent chance of barf.” Gwen said as she flicked some puke onto Heather and left.

“You're up to something. And I am finding out what.” Heather angrily said as she cleaned the puke.

“We’re going to play detective? Nice!” Harold asked as he came next to Heather.

“Can you just shut up for once in your life!?” Heather angrily asked and left.

Meanwhile DJ went to talk to Chef. “Chef, sir! Did you see that challenge? Lindsay couldn’t get enough of the food! You were right, Chef. Pride is everything. Thank you.” DJ said.

“You've learned nothing!” Chef angrily said.

“B-B-But pride, Chef.” DJ stuttered.

“Pride?! Pride and two bucks will get you a cup of coffee! What a man really needs is loyalty. If it wasn't for Beth's disgusting retainer thing, you could've blown it for the whole team!” Chef angrily said.

“Oh wow.” DJ said, realizing what he did.

“I was once like you. Young, weird, kinda ugly. But you've got a gift. Now own it. Don't let it go to waste. Like I did. Meet me in the kitchen after the challenge. You're on permanent KP duty, soldier.” Chef said as he sniffled and left.

Confessional: DJ

“Who knew Chef could be such a softie? But I can't argue with the man. I got the gift. More spice. I love my mama.” DJ said as he hugged the Mama spice.

Cut to everyone outside with two carts. “Elimination challenge! Here we go! No get-out-of-jail-free cards here, people. This is Escape from Total Drama Pen. Each team must hop in their laundry carts while one member pushes through the obstacle course to freedom. When you reach the wall, get digging. First team to reach the boxcar to freedom wins immunity. Convicts, select a pusher.” Chris explained.

“I'll do it!” DJ said.

“You sure you can handle the pressure? Everything is riding on this. But, if you like being the one who could lose us the whole thing…” Gwen replied.

“Huh?” Heather said in shock.

“I should probably lie down.” DJ sighed and got in the kart.

“I can do it guys! I have super strong f-” Tyler tried to say but was interrupted.

“No.” Duncan said bluntly.

“It's okay, guys. I'll do it.” Gwen said.

“Ugh, I’m telling you I can do it!” Tyler sighed and got in the kart.

“The girl is seriously sketchy. I, for one, refuse to trust her.” Heather said.

“I trust anyone more than I trust you. Now get up in that cart and shut it, Miss Sourpuss I'm-a-vote-you-off-next.” Leshawna said as she got in the cart. Heather tried to say something but was interrupted.

“Seriously, Heather. Shut it.” Duncan said as he got in the cart.

“You should get more evidence before accusing someone, and then you can present it to show your argument! that’s the number one rule o-” Harold tried to explain but was interrupted.

“Whatever, it’s not over.” Heather said as she got in the cart while Harold followed her.

“So, which of you guys is pushing us?” Beth asked.

“Don’t look at me.” Noah said and got in the cart.

“Oh! Dang trick knee's been acting up since that time I uh... pushed it to the max at the uh... sports... game.” Owen said and jumped in the cart, accidentally crushing Noah.

“Why does this keep happening!” Noah said in pain.

“Aww, poor Owen. Justin, we could use some real manliness here.” Lindsay told Justin.

“Look, girls. The Gaffers have Gwen pushing. We don't want it to look too uneven. I think we need a girl too to help hide the whole cheating business. And beautiful, the way you took on that last challenge nearly blew my mind.” Justin said as Lindsay blushed.

“Stop with the mediocre flattery. I’m pushing it, otherwise we have no chance of winning.” Eva said as Justin, Lindsay and Beth nodded in fear and got into the cart.

Cut to the kart at the start of an obstacle course. “This is it, teams. On your marks, get set, Escape!” Chris said as Gwen and Eva started pushing the carts. Gwen went through some obstacles as everyone except Heather, who got hit due to being distracted due to looking at Gwen, ducked.

“Pump those buff legs, come on! Pump! How did we not win this yet if you are so strong?” Justin asked Eva.

“We’re already ahead! Do you know how much Owen weighs? I'm doing my best!” Eva yelled.

Noah looked to see Gwen. “Wow, Gwen! You're going even faster than Trent ever could!” Noah yelled as Gwen ended up stopping.

“Is there a problem?” Heather asked.

“Good girl! Trent would be proud.” Justin mocked from ahead.

“I demand an explanation! Why have we stopped?” Heather angrily said.

“Oh! Ooh, cramps! Cramps, agh!” Gwen said as she pretended that her leg was hurt.

“Were they talking about Trent? The guy you were so over? The same guy who happened to get voted off last time? Coincidence? Or did you and the Grips cut a deal?” Heather accused.

“Don't be ridiculous.” Gwen replied.

“Oh, I give you serious props for the nefarious scheme. But if it's true, you are a goner.” Heather angrily said.

“I am cramping up, I swear!” Gwen replied.

“If she's got a cramp, she's got a cramp. We humans get them.” Duncan said as Leshawna nodded.

“I don’t know, seems kind of suspicious.” Harold said.

“We would have been way ahead if I was pushing!” Tyler said.

“Whoa! Guys, chill out! Gwen, if you’re okay now, can you push?” DJ asked.

“If you’re not, I have just the thing for cramps! Now get pushing!” Gwen said as she started pushing while Eva reached the end.

“Eva…” Justin said as Eva was about to crash into a wall.

“Eva?” Beth said, trying to get Eva to notice.

“Eva!” Justin and Beth both yelled while making her notice and stop before they hit the wall.

“Wha-huh? Oh, I was having this terrible dream. I was on this show, and we were in prison, and we had to-- Aw, nuts. Uh, beer nuts.” Owen said as he woke up.

“Get digging, Sleepy McBumperhead.” Noah replied as he gave him a spoon.

While they started digging, Gwen managed to reach the end. “Someone's dirt's in my hole! I'm gonna get it out!” Leshawna said as she started digging with the gold shovel.

“Leshawna! You'll hurt yourself!” Gwen said.

“Hmm. Would it kill you to offer a little encouragement? Like someone who wants to win might do.” Heather angrily said.

“Sue me for caring about the well-being of my teammates!” Gwen angrily replied.

Cut to Chris and Chef in the cowboy set. “So, you ever seen that prison flick? The one with the guy in it? You know, the guy with the face? So, you doing anything after work? We could always rent a... or not. I was.... busy... anyway... Very busy, just throwing it out there.” Chris said as he tried to ask Chef out on a date but failed while Chef looked confused.

Cut to the Grips inside their tunnel. “Justin, I can hear them way ahead of us!” Lindsay said as everyone but Jusitn dug.

“Seriously, you are so useless! Even Noah is digging.” Eva angrily said.

“I’m right here, you know.” Noah said.

“Chill. Gwen's throwing the game, remember?” Justin said as he looked at himself with a spoon.

“Oh, right! Haha! I keep forgetting.” Lindsay chuckled.

“Heh, yeah. Okay? What do you say we ratchet this operation back a notch, huh?” Justin said.

“Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to dig, or I’ll give you a black eye.” Eva threatened.

“Okay I’m digging, sheesh.” Justin said and started digging.

Confessional: Justin

“I already got enough horrifying injuries to my face last season with all those dodgeballs, at least with hands they are easily fixable.” Justin said.

Cut to the Gaffers inside their tunnel. “Yeah, all right! Now that's what I'm talking about.” Harold said as Leshawna quickly dug with the gold spoon.

“I'm starting to like our chances.” Heather said as Gwen looked worried but then suddenly got an idea.

“Oh! My claustrophobia! The walls, they're closing in! I'm like a caged animal, man! I can't take another sec of ahhhh!” Gwen said in fear as she took the shovel and started swinging it around, however she ended up accidentally hitting Harold in the head with it, causing a giant red bump to swell up on his head as he collapsed.

Confessional: Harold

“Classic prison madness. And that shovel thing? Heck, everyone knows first day of prison, break something over some big dude's back. Then nobody messes with you. I'm kinda scared of Gwen now. And kind of attracted to her. Don't tell Leshawna! Or Heather! Or Gwen!” Harold told the camera.

“Girl are you trippin’!? Why did you go and break that shovel on the poor boy’s head!” Leshawna angrily asked Gwen.

“I’m so sorry! It was an accident!” Gwen defended herself.

“Assaulting your teammate to make your time lose? Nice.” Heather said as Gwen bit her lip.

“Team, we're the Screaming Gaffers. And we're gonna win, even if we have to dig with our bare hands! Even if we have to eat our way out!” DJ said as he showed the mama spice.

“Danger boy, toothpick, jockless, soul patch, puke breath, mama boy is right. Let's get our dig on!” Leshawna said, trying to motivate her team.

“Yeah guys! We can dig with our hands! Like I was gonna say, I have super strong f-” Tyler tried to say but was interrupted by someone popping their head from the end of the tunnel. It was Izzy, who was wearing a hunter hat and buck teeth.

“Kaleidoscope?” The Gaffers asked as Izzy made rodent noises.

“Yup! I don’t know if you should call me that now though.” Izzy replied.

“Yep. I'd say that's her.” Duncan said.

“Yeah, I've been living underground amongst the prairie dogs.” Izzy said as a rodent popped up on her head and growled at the Gaffers. “Aw, Butchie, it's okay. These are my friends.” she told it as it went back.

“You were a Killer Grip. One of our sworn enemies.” Heather said, suspicious.

“Friends, enemies. Living down here, it changes like, your whole perspective. Follow me, I know a shortcut to the finish line!” Izzy told them.

“Well, we don’t have anything better to do, sure.” DJ shrugged.

“A shortcut?” Gwen asked, scared.

“Isn't it great, Gwen? We're totally going to win, Gwen.” Heather taunted.

Confessional: Gwen

“What choice did I have? If my team knew the truth, I'd be toast. They’re starting to trust Heather more than me!” Gwen said, worried.

Cut to the Gaffers and Izzy going through a tunnel. “And of course, I became second in command prairie dog, which meant I shared all the prairie dog council meetings. What makes me a good prairie dog? If I were a bad prairie dog, I wouldn't be sittin' here, discussin' it with you now would I? Let's do it! Not one of ya's gonna' survive this! One crossed wire, one wayward pinch of potassium chlorate, one errant twitch... and kablooie! I got a manky eye. I'm a black, Scottish cyclops. So T'all you fine dandies so proud, so cocksure! Prancin' aboot with your heads full of eyeballs! Come and get me I say!I'll be waiting on ya with a whiff of the 'ol brimstone. I'm a grim bloody fable... with an unhappy bloody end! Oh, they're going to have to glue you back together... in hell! And oh, oh! Here we are!” Izzy ranted with a Scottish accent as they reached the end.

“Ooh, let me out of this hole! Aww, heck no!” Leshawna said as she got out of the hole to see the Grips cheering in the finish.

“We won! We won! Hahaha!” Izzy cheered.

“"We"?” Leshawna angrily asked.

“What? It's way more fun to be on the winning team. Besides, I was on that team before I got out anyway.”  Izzy said as she went over to the Grips.

“They actually won?” Gwen asked, confused.

“Try not to look so upset, traitor.” Heather said as Gwen looked upset.

“All right, Killer Grips! Hahaha! High five!” Izzy told the Grips and offered them a high five, however none of them accepted it.

“E-Scope? What the hell are you doing here!?” Eva asked, surprised.

“Yeah! We voted you off.” Lindsay agreed.

“Uh-uh. You voted off Kaleidoscope.” Izzy reminded.

(Flashback) Izzy! Time to go!” Chris said as he threw Justin and Lindsay their awards while Izzy looked upset.

“I'm not going anywhere. That's not my name.” Izzy said as Chris looked at Chef.

“Girl likes to be called Kaleidoscope.” Chef shrugged.

“Can I get a pen over here? It says "E-Scope" now, okay?! And remember, you can never come back. Ever! Take her to the Lame-o-sine.” Chris said as he crossed out Izzy’s name on the paper and replaced it with E-Scope as some interns came to drag Izzy away.

“So, Izzy's still technically in the game! Awesome!” Owen cheered.

“Wow. That’s actually genius.” Noah said, shocked.

Cut to everyone in the craft services tent. “If you were food, you'd be dessert. Chocolate covered chocolate with chocolate sauce and sprinkles. Chocolate ones.” Owen chuckled as he flirted with Izzy.

“That is so nice, Owen. You're a banana split with like, twenty-six bananas and a whole lot of split. Yeah.” Izzy chuckled.

“That’s probably the weirdest style of flirting I have ever seen.” Noah said.

“It's so sad that you'll be kicked off tonight, isn't it, Death Mask?” Heather told Gwen on the Gaffers table.

“What makes your royal smugness so sure?” Gwen replied.

“I saw through your little stunt. You threw the challenge. We'd still be in that tunnel if it wasn't for Izzy. You're gonna pay.” Heather angrily said.

“Gwen, here! After all the barfing, running, and digging, you need to keep your strength up.” DJ said as he gave Gwen more food.

“Aw, thanks DJ! I can always count on you.” Gwen replied as she smirked at Heather while she looked upset.

Cut to the award ceremony. “Time for the award ceremony!” Chris began the ceremony.

“Dork Boy! You put horse lips in the stew and then got hit in the head with a shovel!” Chef called out Harold who didn’t seem interested.

“Nasty Girl, no one still trusts you.” Chef called out Heather as she rolled her eyes.

“Finally Emo Girl, you drove the cart slowly, lied about your ankle being hurt and 

“Uh, excuse me? Shouldn’t I be called out sin-” DJ tried to say as he raised his hand but was interrupted.

“Did you say something?” Chef threatened.

“Nope! I’m good, thanks.” DJ said as he lowered his hand.

Time's up! I'll tally the votes!” Chris said as he began tossing the awards.

“Duncan!” he said as he tossed an award at Duncan.

“Tyler!” he said as he tossed an award at Tyler.

“Leshawna!” he said as he tossed an award at Leshawna.

“DJ!” he said as he tossed an award at DJ.

“and Harold.” he said as he tossed an award at Harold.

“Another award and another day to compete.” he said as Gwen and Heather glared at each other. “Tonight's... final Gilded Chris and another chance at the million goes to

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Heather!” Chris said as Heather got on the stage, shoved him and took the award forcefully before he could throw it.

“Sorry, Gwen. You're not the winner. You lost, so you're a loser. It's just logic.” Heather taunted while Gwen looked upset.

Confessional: Leshawna

“Voting for Gwen, yeah that hurt. I'm not saying Heather was right. But something must've gone off of Gwen. Smacking Harold upside his sweet little head like that. Huh, girl wasn't right. And when you're not right, you're wrong.” Leshawna explained.

Confessional: Harold

“Thing is, if Gwen had stayed in the game, according to prison rules, I'd either have to break a shovel over her head, or fall in love with her. Obviously, neither option was feasible.” Harold explained.

Confessional: DJ

“Gwen acted pretty odd during the challenge. I think she might be sick or something, going home would be best for her.” DJ explained.

Confessional: Tyler

“Heather’s mean but… Gwen did make us lose.” Tyler said.

Confessional: Heather

“My vote plus Leshawna's, Tyler’s, DJ’s and Harold's equals the greatest day of my life. Bye-bye, Gwenny.” Heather mocked.

Cut to Chef walking Gwen to the Lame-O-Sine while she wore handcuffs. “Dead girl walking!” Chef yelled.

“Leave her! Take me!” Duncan said, waiting in front of the Lame-O-Sine.

“Sure. Whatever.” Chef said as he took off the handcuffs from Gwen and attempted to put them on Duncan.

“What? Wait, wait, okay, no, I didn't actually mean…” Duncan chuckled.

“Nice try, Duncan. You're not getting off that easy. Good luck, kay?” Gwen said as she took the handcuffs and went in the Lame-O-Sine as it left while Duncan waved goodbye.

Confessional: Gwen

“Definition of lousy? Being a stickler for your word and having to throw challenges. I knew I didn’t owe them anything, but I still felt obligated to due to how I kind of caused Trent to throw challenges, broke up with him out of nowhere and then told them to vote for him. Whoever's in charge of karma, I hope that counts for something!” Gwen explained.

Confessional: Duncan

“Man, it sucks that Gwen’s gone. Now the only tolerable person left on the team is DJ, and he just keeps hanging out someplace else.” Duncan complained.

“Folks are getting feisty. Throwing challenges you a couple of karma points, but it definitely loses you a million bucks. Check. You. Later.” Chris ended the episode.

VOTES

Confessional: Gwen

“Heather. I’m going to feel so horrible if they actually keep her over me.” Gwen said as he chose to eliminate Heather on the device.

Confessional: Duncan

“I don’t care if Gwen threw the challenge, I’m still voting Heather.” Duncan said as she chose to eliminate Heather on the device.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I can’t believe I’m actually voting her over Heather, but something was up with her today.” Leshawna said as he chose to eliminate Gwen on the device.

Confessional: DJ

“Sorry Gwen, hopefully getting away from the show makes you feel better.” DJ said as she chose to eliminate Gwen on the device.

Confessional: Heather

“So long, Gothball.” Heather said as he chose to eliminate Gwen on the device.

Confessional: Harold

“I vote for Gwen. Heather managed to make some compelling arguments on why she is guilty of throwing the challenge.” Harold said as he chose to eliminate Gwen on the device.

Confessional: Tyler

“If I pushed the cart, we totally would have won! I vote Gwen!” Tyler said as she chose to eliminate Gwen on the device.

BONUS CLIP

Gwen's Lame-O-Sine Ride

“Guess I'm not gonna get my necklace back from Trent. Oh well, guess that's karma for you. I am so relieved this is all over. Aftershow? There's an aftershow?! Oh, you have got to be kidding! Let me out of here!” Gwen said as tried to open the door but failed.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap. Imprisoned in a world they didn't create, forced to ingest deadly foods, and even to taste them twice. Nonetheless, the two courageous teams clawed their way to freedom! And... a lonely Chef made a new friend.” he continued.

(Flashback) “Okay, maggot! I'm gonna ride you 'til your confidence coats the back of a spoon and your self-respect forms them peas! No more mama's boy, DJ. Watch and learn.” Chef said as he cut some vegetables.

“But prison is no place for traitors. Even cool goth ones. So at the end of the day, it was "Goodbye, Gwen, hello... Izzy?" Yeah. Izzy. That girl is eight shades of nutty. Will she drive everyone else crazy too? Find out now on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to everyone going to their trailers in the night. “Ha, everything is so much smaller than I remember!” Izzy said.

“I still can't believe Gwen made a side deal with the other team. Didn't know she had it in her.” Duncan said.

“I remember that bush! I remember that tree! I-- oof! Heh. Oh, I remember that rock! Heh, hey rock!” Izzy said as she looked around and ended up tripping on a rock.

“Well, I can't believe they let Izzy back. They totally negated our numbers advantage. And that's the only advantage we had.” Heather whispered.

“Don't be starting something, girl.” Leshawna angrily said, hearing what she said.

“Well, goodnight everybody! Oh!” Lindsay said as she tried to open the girls trailer door but ended up bumping into it.

“Hey, who locked the door?” Duncan asked as he tried to open the guys trailer door.

“Wait, wait, let me try it.” Izzy said as she rammed into the door but couldn’t open it.

“Did they forgot to unlock them after the challenge?” Tyler asked as suddenly siren noises came.

“Cops!” Izzy and Duncan yelled as an ambulance came, dropped a stretcher with a sheet on it, and then left.

“Ew, what is that? A dead body?” Heather asked.

“Or an undead body.” Duncan replied.

“Maybe it’s a dangerous monster!” Eva said as she pumped her fists.

“Boo!” Chris said as he popped up from under the bedsheets, scaring everyone and making Harold jump into Leshawna’s hands. “Calm yourselves. No one's dead yet. I'm here to prep you plucky ducks for our most awesome challenge yet. These textbooks hold the sum total of eight years of med school. And each one of you gets one because tomorrow, we're gonna play doctor!” he explained.

Confessional: Duncan

“I hate doctors. They just get off on telling people stuff that they don't wanna hear like, "Don't pick at that scab!" or "If you eat nothing but pickled eggs, you'll die." Hey, don't tell me what I can't eat. Now, playing doctor. Playing doctor I can handle.” Duncan explained.

Confessional: Harold

“I could be a doctor if I wanted to. I have plenty of hands-on experience, 'cause I've contracted more than three hundred known diseases. And I've been cured of nearly all of them. But there is no known vaccine for loving Leshawna.” Harold explained as an intern put make up on his face from behind the curtain but stopped after hearing about his diseases.

Confessional: Noah

“Being a doctor seems like way too much effort and too little payoff. I’d rather have a mid income office job than a high income job where you have to carefully look at someone else’s body. Ugh…” Noah shuddered.

“To win this challenge, you're gonna wanna memorize the entire contents of these textbooks. By morning.” Chris explained.

“But it's already so late!” Heather protested.

“You got that right. What med school all-nighter would be complete without pizza?” Chris said as some interns brought pizza.

“Mm! That smells good!” Owen said as he smelled the pizza.

“It's gotta be a trick.” Leshawna thought.

“More like method acting. Med school interns consume eight hundred fifty percent more pizza than the average human. So, dig in. 'Cause there's plenty more where that came from.” Chris said and left with an ambulance.

“Looks okay. Smells okay. Tastes... Incredible!” Duncan said as he ate the pizza.

“How is that even possible?” Heather asked.

Cut to Chef and DJ in the kitchen. “Keep 'em comin'! I'll add the final cheesy touch.” Chef told DJ, who was making pizza, as he chuckled.

“My team's gonna wonder where I am.” DJ said.

“Not as long as they're eating, they won't! So hush up and spin that dough. Spin like the wind.” Chef replied.

Confessional: DJ

“Making food for my friends to eat is fun, but not getting to hang out with them is not. I’m surprised no one still asked where I’m going all the time.” DJ said.

Cut to the Grips. “Hey, Beth? Do I squint when I read?” Justin asked Beth.

“I don't know. Your shirt's distracting me. Unless you…” Beth said and gasped as Justin ripped off his shirt.

“Uh... uh... I'll just read the book to you, spare your beautiful eyes! Ahem. "Chapter one: Anatomy." Is it getting hot in here?” Beth chuckled as she read for Justin.

“Hey! You know what my brothers and me did once? We had a no-hands pizza off. You guys should've been there.” Owen told Izzy, Noah and Eva.

“Let's pretend I was! Here!” Izzy said and started slamming her head into the pizza.

“You're... magnificent.” Owen said as she swung the pizza, making the sauce fly everywhere and hit stuff.

“My hair!” Lindsay yelled.

“My pecs!” Justin yelled.

“My pizza!” Owen yelled.

“My braincells.” Noah said with no emotion.

Confessional: Izzy

“I am so glad to be back. I was top of my pre-med class before the RCMP started chasing me, so this should be a snap! And Owen is just the sweetest thing ever! If he were a candy bar, he'd taste just like caramel-covered marshmallows!” Izzy explained.

Confessional: Owen

 “It's totally awesome that Izzy is back. Yeah. It's like Christmas but with pizza! It's pizzmas!” Owen cheered.

“Come on guys, will you focus and just study?” Noah asked.

“Whatever, no one cares dweeb.” Justin said as Noah glared.

“Just read it.” Eva said as she read the book.

Cut to the Gaffers studying in the craft services tent. “This pie is rad! Who knew Chef could rock the 'za?” Duncan said as he ate pizza.

“What does that even mean!?” Tyler asked, confused.

“Aren't you having any, Leshawna?” Harold asked Leshawna

Confessional: Leshawna

“I love pizza. But me and dairy do not "agree". And brother, you do not wanna be around for that.” Leshawna explained.

“Well, no pizza for Leshawna means more for the rest of us.” Duncan said.

“Hey, slow down. DJ hasn't had any.” Harold said.

“Where is DJ?” Heather asked as DJ got out from the kitchen while no one was looking.

“Uh... I-I've been here the whole time, obviously. Now hand me some pie. Mm... I am good.” DJ said as he ate a pizza that Heather gave him.

“Huh, well, I'm not gonna just watch y'all eat. Tomorrow's a reward challenge. No need to bust our humps when no one's getting kicked off.” Leshawna said and left.

“The lady has a point. I'm out.” Duncan agreed and left.

“What about the reward?” DJ asked.

“I mean… it’s probably going to be something shitty anyway.” Harold said.

Confessional: Heather

“I could've forced them to stay, but it's not like they'll help us win. I mean, medical terms? Please. Those two will only come in handy if the challenge is about piercings or plus-size shopping. At least Harold and Tyler are nerds and DJ knows how to take care of animals.” Heather said.

Cut to Leshawna and Duncan walking to the trailers while Duncan whistled. “Now that Gwen's gone, we gotta watch our backs around Heather. I was thinking. What if you, me, and Harold form an alliance?” Leshawna asked Duncan.

“What, you and me and Harold? In an alliance?” Duncan said and laughed.

“I'm serious!” Leshawna said.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatev.” Duncan chuckled and left.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I know I could have gotten DJ or Tyler to agree with me but DJ keeps sneaking off somewhere and Tyler’s as competent as an athlete with a full body cast. Sadly, that punk was the best option.” Leshawna explained.

Cut to the Gaffers studying in the craft services tent. “I don’t get any of this.” Tyler said as he read the book.

“What else is new.” Heather said as she rolled her eyes.

“Why does there need to be so many pages?” DJ asked.

“How about a fun fact to make studying easier? Did you know, Chickenpox, Kwashiorkor, Alopecia areata, Peripheral neuropathy, Hand, foot and mouth disease, Impetigo, Yellow fever, Onchocerciasis and Hypermetropia have one thing in common and that is-” Harold tried to say but was interrupted.

“No one cares.” Heather interrupted.

“It’s important for the challenge, gosh!” Harold angrily said.

Cut to everyone at a doctor set standing in front of a closed door. Everyone but Leshawna and Duncan were looking tired. “So tired.” Harold sighed.

“Owie, my brain is full.” Lindsay said.

“I think I studied more in this one night than the previous 15 years of my life.” Tyler said.

“Oh man, nothing like a good night's sleep. Am I right?” Duncan mocked, causing everyone to glare at him as Heather did a throat slitting motion.

“Morning, competitors. Or should I say... doctors?!” Chris said as he shot everyone with a headlight blaster, and ended up knocking Lindsay down. “Ready for today's big challenge?” he asked.

“Some of us are more ready than others.” Heather said as she glared at Leshawna and Duncan.

“You made your choice, I made mine.” Leshawna angrily said.

“Ooh, tension. My favorite. Let's take it inside.” Chris said as they went into the room Chris came from.

Cut to a room with two grease pools alongside diving boards and chains. “Today's reward challenge is called "Visiting Hours". And only one member of the winning team will get to enjoy the reward.” Chris explained.

“If only one of us gets the prize, why even bother trying to win?” Duncan asked.

“A challenge is a challenge. It's one for all and all for one.” Leshawna sighed.

“Yeah, but if we win, who gets to be the one?” Duncan asked.

“The person who most directly contributes to the win.” Heather replied.

Confessional: Heather

“As in me. Duh.” Heather rolled her eyes.

“Chris, you haven't told us what the reward is yet.” Harold asked Chris.

“You're very perceptive, Harold. Let's see if that'll help you and your team assemble... a cadaver!” Chris said.

“You mean like, a dead body?” Lindsay asked.

“No, I mean like a giant dead body!” Chris replied.

“I-It’s not a real one right?” DJ asked.

“Nope! These kegs contain the dismembered parts of two identical cadavers. Each player will climb their respective team ladder, strap on the bungee cord, and jump into the tank with hopes of retrieving a body part. Any parts you find will be snapped in place on the platforms. Use those chains to raise them all the way to the roof, where they'll be reanimated by a blast of lightning! First team to bring a Franken-Chris to life wins. First crack goes to the team who can tell me how to treat someone with a bean stuck up their nose.” Chris asked.

“Ooh! Ooh! Administer two CC's of pain meds and probe the infected area with a sterile swab!” Beth answered.

“Correctamundo!” Chris replied.

“Yes!” Beth cheered.

Cut to Beth on top of the board. She jumped into the pool on a bungee cord and came out with an eel which zapped her. “What the heck was that?!” Beth asked as she held onto the diving board.

“Oh yeah. I forgot to mention the electric eels. Three zaps and you're out.” Chris explained as Beth dove into the pool again and came out with a body part.

“Got it!” Beth said as she tossed it to Owen who put it on the board.

“Okay, next question. Your patient has an itchy, red inflammation on their butt. Diagnosis?” Chris asked.

“Diaper rash. Apply salve repeatedly to achieve humectant dispersion.” Heather answered.

“Yes!” Chris replied.

Cut to Heather on top of the board. She jumped into the pool on a bungee cord and came out with an eel which zapped her. “Ow! How dare you?” she grunted as she fell in again and came out with another eel that zapped her. “Ow! Yes!” Heather said as she dove in again, got a body part and tossed it to her team.

“Got it! Got it! Oof!” Harold said as he tried to catch it but was then shoved away.

“Got it! Whoops-a-daisy.” Duncan said as he went to put it on and stepped on Harold’s kiwis on the way.

“Gas pedal.” Harold complained as DJ winced.

Confessional: DJ

“Man, Duncan’s still got it out against Harold. I thought he’d stop after a while, but he just keeps doing it.” DJ said.

“Next question, your patient's got a white tongue, red eyes, and they're oozing gooey crud. Diagnosis?” Chris asked.

“Ooh! Ooh! I know this! Pinkus eyeicus! Treat with two rounds of flopperty-gibbits!” Owen explained.

“Pretty sure that’s not a real disease.” Noah said.

“Absolutely correct! I messed around with some of the terms in the textbook.” Chris whispered to the camera.

Cut to Owen on top of the board. “Ahh! Awesome.” Owen said as he got the leg first try and tossed it to Justin.

“Don't let it touch my hair!” Justin yelled as he threw the leg away.

“Ooh! Catch! Fun!” Izzy said as she caught the leg.

“Nice work, Iz– Ugh! Aw, c'mon!” Owen said as the rope holding him broke and he fell into the pool and got zapped.

“Smells like earwax?” Chris asked.

“Pineappleitis.” Tyler answered.

Cut to Tyler on top of the board. “Gah!” He yelled as he jumped into the pool and was zapped by eels multiple times.

“Fur between the toes?” Chris asked.

“Stick two horse feathers up the whizzbang!” Eva replied.

Cut to Eva on top of the board. “Yes!” Eva yelled as she got a part and tossed it to Noah who put it on.

“What do you call it when your toes are burnt?” Chris asked.

“Ooh! I know! Dlyegatris!” Lindsay said.

Cut to Lindsay on top of the board. She dove in and ended up being zapped but got a leg at the same time.

“Stomachache at the front?” Chris asked.

“Grachache.” DJ replied.

Cut to DJ on top of the board. “Tell my Momma I love her!” DJ yelled as he jumped in the pool. “Yes!” he said as he got a foot and tossed it at Tyler who caught it and put it.

“Waka waka two-by-four!” Izzy answered a question and jumped into the pool and got zapped but got two parts.

“Sissypants McGee!” Owen answered a question and jumped in the pool, causing some eels to be shot out as he got a part.

“Fregtin’ yeahsis!” Harold answered a question and jumped in the pool and got a part.

“My balls.” Noah answered a question and jumped in the pool. He got zapped thrice before finally getting a part.

Confessional: Noah

“I hate eels. They’re slimy, greasy, and they get everywhere.” Noah said.

“The Gaffers ahead by... a head!” Chris announced as Duncan got a head and tossed it at Heather who was on top of DJ.

Duncan pulled down Harold’s pants as he got out of the pool. “Gosh! That is so not cool!” Harold angrily said.

“All right, you two. Separate! Stop getting up in Harold's grill, okay?! We win this, maybe you'll get the reward. Don't let him get to you, baby. He's just playing.” Leshawna said as she separated the two.

“He's lucky I didn't pull a karate move on him. Hi-yah cha, pukitow!” Harold said as he did karate moves, accidentally causing his pants to fall down.

“Actually, I think you, me, and Duncan can form one heck of an alliance.” Leshawna told Harold

“A what? With him? Are you nuts?” Harold angrily said as he hopped away, not bothering to pull up his pants again.

“I'm just trying to look out for you! Ugh. Unbelievable.” Leshawna sighed.

Confessional: Harold

“How can Leshawna even talk to Duncan? He's a worthless punk or my name isn't Harold Norbit Cheever Doris McGrady V. Please don't tell Duncan about the Doris part!” Harold gasped.

“Yeah! Last piece coming your way!” DJ said as he took a piece and tossed it at the board as Duncan, Heather and Tyler started pulling it up.

“The Gaffers have their cadaver! Time to start yanking some chain. And be quick about it 'cause the Grips are right behind you!” Chris said as Izzy dove in the pool.

“I got it! I got it!” Izzy said as she got a part and tossed it at the board.

“Heave! Ho! Heave!” Eva yelled as she, Justin and Beth pulled the chain.

“The Grips are still in this. Whose cadaver will hit the roof first? Make sure you come back for all the Total. Drama. Action!” Chris said.

Cut to after some time where the teams were still pulling the bodies up. “Ah, it's so exciting, I can't take it! Nom!” Izzy said as she bit into Owen’s arm .

“Owww, ooh, hubba hubba…” Owen said, oddly pleased by this.

“Ew, what's this icky sore? Owen, you're burning up. Just like my passionate soul.” Izzy told Owen as she saw a red circle on his arm as he breathed on her face, knocking her down.

“Mm, lemony.” Owen said as he smelled his breath.

“Hold on... red sores, fever, lemony breaths? Aren't those symptoms of one of the diseases in the book?” Justin asked.

“Page 753! Mortotistico Crumple's Disease! And it's fatal!” Beth said as everyone gasped.

“Mortotistico Crumple's isn't just fatal... it's highly contagious!” Heather explained.

“Okay, looks like it's quarantine time! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.” Chris said as he left the room and locked it down. “There's more to this disease than either team knows.” he said as he hammered pieces of wood onto the door from outside.

Cut to the inside. “Seriously weird. Owen somehow gets infected with a fatal disease?

“I'm sure it's just a twenty-four hour kind of fatal.” Owen chuckled.

“Oh, you poor, brave, dead man! I'll find a cure! I swear!” Izzy said.

“Quarantine Owen, stat!” Harold said as Eva inflated an air bubble.

“Get inside before you kill us all!” Eva yelled as Tyler, Leshawna, Duncan and Justin threw him into the bubble.

“Ahh! I see another sore... on DJ!” Heather said as she pointed at DJ’s arm.

“It's gotta be some kind of mistake!” DJ said, scared.

“Hey! Where is the exit door on these things?” Owen said as he tried to open the bubble.

“There isn't one!” Beth said.

“Uh-oh. Getting claustrophobic. Haha.” Owen said.

“Is that another symptom?” Lindsay asked.

“It is! He’s definitely infected.” Eva confirmed.

“Let me out of this crazy thing! Ding ding ding ding ding! Ah!” Owen said as he ping ponged around the room, crushing some people.

“At least I wasn’t the only one this time.” Noah sighed, laying in the ground after being crushed.

“Great. Now Owen's not only infectious, he's a deranged pinball of death.” Heather said as she got up.

“We need to confirm no one else is infected. Symptoms of Mortotistico Crumple's Disease include... explosive diarrhea…” Harold explained.

“Oh no…” Lindsay said as she ran into a toilet while her stomach rumbled.

“Itchy lips…” Harold continued.

“My... my lips! They're on fire! Uh!” Justin said as he itched his lips.

“Headaches…” Harold continued.

“Ugh, can you people be a bit quieter!?” Noah said as he held his head.

“A sore throat… Sudden hot flashes... sea sickness… exhaustion…” Harold explained as Eva started choking and Beth started sweating while Heather puked into a bucket and Tyler collapsed due to tiredness. “Speaking in tongues…” he continued.

“Vudavudavudavudavudavudavudavudavudavuda!” Izzy said as she spoke in tongues.

“And temporary blindness. Anyone? Anyone? Well, that's a relief. Uh! I'm blind!” Harold yelled as he bumped into Izzy, knocking her down.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I know it's meant to be dangerous and all, but it's still a TV show. No way they'd actually let someone up and die in here, am I right?” Leshawna asked.

“You think we wouldn't. But, just imagine the ratings!” Chris said.

Cut to everyone except Leshawna, Duncan, Heather, who was puking to a bucket on the floor, Owen and DJ, who were in the balls laying on a bed.

“I'm burning up!” Harold said.

“Want us to take your temperature with this thermometer?” Duncan said as he showed him a thermometer.

“Is that a rectal thermometer? You're the sick one.” Harold angrily said as he sniffed the termometer.

“Both of you, stop! Here, baby, have a sip of water.” Leshawna said as she gave Harold a glass of water which he ended up spitting on her face. “Oh, this is nuts. We gotta do something.” she told Duncan.

“Have you noticed we're the only ones who didn't study all night, and we're the only ones who haven't been infected?” Duncan explained.

“I'm starting to question this Morto-testing-my-patience junk. We need to get our hands on one of those textbooks. There's gotta be something these guys missed.” Leshawna said.

“Good idea. Except Chris sealed off the only exit.” Duncan replied and pointed at the door.

“Not the only exit.” Leshawna said and pointed at a chain that they could climb to get out from the roof.

“I'm not a huge fan of heights.” Duncan said.

“Well, I'm not a huge fan of dying!” Leshawna said as she climbed the chain.

“You got a point.” Duncan said as he climbed the chain.

Cut to Duncan and Leshawna outside the set. You grab a textbook, I'm gonna go look in the kitchen.” Leshawna said as they ran different ways.

Confessional: Duncan

“I take a practical approach to life and to this game. Namely, if someone is too nice to you, there has got to be a reason. And you just know it ain't gonna be pretty. Maybe there’s something on the tapes. Oh, pfft.” Duncan said as he took the tape from the confessional and looked at it, seeing something that made him laugh.

Cut to inside the set. “Gotta pee! Gotta pee! Gotta pee!” DJ yelled as he ran around in the ball.

“Ahh... My lips... my lips!” Justin said.

“Could you be quiet!? My head can’t take anymore!” Noah angrily said.

“Maybe they'd feel better if you stopped itching them?” Beth advised while Eva coughed.

“"To my mother, I leave you all my many awards and trophies. To my brothers and sisters, I leave you... nothing. Earn it yourselves, you lazy slackers."” Heather wrote as she puked in a bucket.

“Ugh, my head hurts so bad but I think it’s making me remember something! Are you Tyler?” Lindsay asked Tyler.

“You remember me? Ha! She remembers me!” Tyler cheered.

“Keep it down!” Noah yelled.

“Oh my god, I’ve been waiting so much to tell you about stuff.” Lindsay told him.

“Sure, go ahead.” Tyler said.

“Well, ever since Trent got out my team has been really unorganized. Justin tries to lead but he isn’t very good.” Lindsay explained.

“Well, why don’t you be a leader then?” Tyler replied.

“You think I can do it? I mean, Trent said he was choosing the weak people and he chose me first…” Lindsay said.

“Who cares what Trent thinks? You’re way better than him and Justin, you made the top five last season! You’d be a great leader!” Tyler replied.

“Aww, that’s sweet.” Lindsay blushed.

“By the way, you aren’t into Justin right?” Tyler asked.

“Don’t worry, he’s hot but you’re hot too and your personality is better.” Lindsay said.

“Sweet.” Tyler replied as suddenly Leshawna and Duncan burst into the room.

“Mother, is that you?” Harold asked.

“Relax, everyone. As someone who has extensive experience with forgery, trust me. This textbook and everything in it is a total crock. The book covers are really just old cereal boxes. Uh-oh. Aww, mother of mercy!” Duncan explained as his stomach rumbled and he ran into a toilet.

“It can't be a crock. No one's faking being sick.” Harold said.

“No, but it's still a hoax. I just went to Chef's kitchen, where I found this "cheese".” Leshawna said as he pulled out a container.

“Uh, gee, what's in that canister I've never seen before? Parmesan?” DJ yelled.

“No, itching powder, irritants and laxatives.” Leshawna said.

“Chef? How could he?” DJ gasped.

“That explains the diarrhea, sore throat and itchy lips.” Duncan said as he got out of the toilet.

“And I'm the only one who didn't get sick. 'Cause I didn't eat the pizza.” Leshawna said.

“But wait, what about the sores on Owen and DJ?” Beth asked.

“Yeah! How do I have a sore? Wait.” DJ said as he took off the sore and saw it was pepperoni.

“It's just a slice of pepperoni. Brother needs to shower.” Leshawna said.

“First, brother needs to pee!” DJ said as he ate the pepperoni while Leshawna opened the bubble as he ran into the toilet.

“Mm, delicious sore. She's right. Now let me out of this bubble!” Owen yelled as he ate the pepperoni on his arm.

“I’ll help you Big-O!” Izzy said as she went to pop the bubble.

“Wait, stop! You can't–” Heather said as Izzy popped the bubble, making the room smell worse.

“Oh, fresh air! Sweet, sweet air!” Owen sighed.

“Oh, stale air. Smelly, smelly air.” Justin sighed

“I think I'm still dying.” Harold sighed.

“Why am I getting used to this!?” Noah said.

“But what about the other symptoms? Headaches? Blindness? Speaking in tongues?” Eva asked.

“Oh, my gosh. First year med school syndrome! Too much studying and too little sleep can make you think you've got every disease in the book! I just spoke in tongues for fun by the way.” Izzy said.

“Huh… my head feels better somehow.” Noah said.

“I can see! I can see!” Harold gasped.

“Congratulations, Screaming Gaffers! You just won the challenge!” Chris said as he climbed down from the chain.

“Whoo!” Tyler cheered.

“Sweet!” DJ cheered.

“I knew it! Yes!” Leshawna cheered.

“Aw, sweet!” Duncan cheered.

“Brilliant diagnostic skills, Duncan and Leshawna. Way to suss it out. And, for your reward... I knew I forgot something. Just a sec.” Chris said and left.

“Okay, you jokers. All I want is an iron clad alliance to get Heather out of my face. Can we not agree on this?” Leshawna told Harold and Duncan.

“I don't know if I can handle being in an alliance with you and Doris here.” Duncan said.

Confessional: Harold

“How could you? That's the lowest, meanest, dirtiest-- gosh! Well, that's the last secret you're gonna get from this guy! Now you'll never know about my teapot collection or the fact that I wear a wizard's cape when I play solitaire.” Harold angrily said.

“I absolutely refuse to be in an alliance with Duncan. With you, yes, a hundred thousand kajillion times, yes. But with him, never!” Harold angrily said.

“I try and help and this is what I get. You're a pair of fools.” Leshawna angrily said.

“As I was saying, for your reward…” Chris said as he came with a plate carrying photos of people close to the contestants.

“That's my momma!” DJ said.

“Ooh, and that's my best cousin!” Leshawna said.

“Yep. One of you gets a whole spa night away from this cruddy studio lot with your very best friend. So, who's the lucky stiff?” Chris asked as everyone but Leshawna started arguing when suddenly Leshawna started crying.

“I'm sorry, it's just... it's been so stressful. I thought I was gonna lose you. Fighting for your lives. It's just all been too much.” Leshawna cried.

“Wow. You actually do have a heart.” Heather said.

“And Leshawna did solve the challenge. I nominate her to win the award. All in favor?” Duncan asked.

“Aye!” Heather, DJ, Harold and Tyler replied.

“ No, no. I-I can't believe this! You guys are so beautiful! What a generous…” Leshawna said and started crying.

“Yuck! Cleanup on aisle two!” Chris said as he saw the barf on the floor. 

Cut to the Lame-O-Sine. “Thank you! Thank you so much! You guys are the best! Leshaniqua?! It's you, girl! I won, whoo!” Leshawna cheered as she got on the Lame-O-Sine where Leshaniqua was waiting.

“Girl, I cannot believe you been crying. You never cry. Not even at Mr. Bunny Rabbit's funeral.” Leshaniqua told Leshawna.

“You nuts? I was just making sure they'd vote me the heck out of here for the night.” Leshawna replied.

“I knew it was too fool to be true.” Leshaniqua chuckled.

“A night away from Total Drama Pain-in-my-behind.” Leshawna sighed in relief.

Cut to Chris in the security room. “Whoa. I hope they're gonna exfoliate Leshawna's attitude at the spa. Or shove her morals in the sauna and give them a good detoxifying steam. So, will Leshawna come back with cleaner pores or a crazy dirty conscience? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the episode.

BONUS CLIP

Leshaniqua’s Confessional

Confessional: Leshaniqua

“What do I say? I mean, Leshawna said you get used to this whole confession thing, but I'm not Catholic. I mean, who wants to be airing their dirty laundry on TV for millions of people to watch? Is this angle better? Franklin Hill, you call me if you see this. Yup, Leshawna has always been a crazy one, she’s always been super competitive and focused on winning. She was upset when she got booted because of that punk guy the previous season, she said she was going to do whatever it takes to win in this season. Although, girl comes home with a million dollars, she might make a lot more friends. Cousin or no, she better keep her hands off Franklin Hill, though.” Leshaniqua explained.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap. “A girl with vision. Vision that took her past everyday thinking. But when the chips were down, and even when the chips came back up again, she was the only one who could rescue them. Searching for a cure for the disease afflicting her dearest friends. A challenge was won. A cure found. But will her betrayal… Hey, what can I say? Gross disease movies make me crave a little corn. But it's time to put the snacks away, kiddies. Because after this totally terrifying episode, there won't be a stomach left unturned. Hold on to your buckets. It's time for some Total. Drama. Action!” he ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to the campers around the trailers. DJ was sleeping with a teddy bear while Duncan, Justin and Tyler were bouncing a ball off hit butt, Heather was sleeping on a chair and Harold, Leshawna, Izzy, Owen, Noah and Eva were playing cards. “Do any of you have a six?” Noah asked but no one responded.

“Is seven cards too much?” Eva asked.

“I don’t think so.” Noah said.

“Izzy... do you have a B.L.T.? I'll also take a five.” Owen asked as he looked at Izzy’s cards.

“Just give me those you cheater.” Izzy said, took the cards from him and mixed them.

“This is getting annoying.” Eva said.

Confessional: Harold

“Izzy thinks she's so cool. But did she spend three whole entire summers at Magic Steve's Magic Camp? Allow me to demonstrate my mad magic skills by producing the Ace of Spades! Oh, ha. Hey, how did that get in there?” Harold said as he showed a picture of himself naked.

“I can't believe you managed to steal these from lunch! Yummers!” Lindsay told Beth as she ate a sandwich.

“I call this the Egg Salad Firework! Drumroll!” Beth said as threw the sandwiches in the air but Owen caught and ate them before she caught them.

“Owen! Stop stealing my sammies!” Beth angrily said.

“What are you talking about?” Owen said with his mouth full.

“You disgust me, Owen.” Leshawna said while eating a sandwich.

“Yeah, what kind of pig are you? Mm.” Heather said while eating a sandwich.

“You're all stealing them?” Beth asked.

“Chef's food has gotten so good. Mm-mm!” Justin said while eating a sandwich.

(Flashback) DJ was cooking something in the kitchen when suddenly he was surprised by Chef. “Alarm!” Chef yelled as he surprised DJ.

“Yipe!” DJ squealed and threw a spoon at him as he clapped.

“Nice work.” Chef said as he clapped.

“You scared me!” DJ said.

“Well, that just means that you have a long way to go.” Chef said.

“Maybe it's time to stop cheating. Being in this alliance with you, it makes me feel all kinds of wrong inside.” DJ sadi.

“This is not about right or wrong, son. It's about you and me, winning that cool mil.” Chef replied.

“Can you at least not help me in challenges?” DJ asked.

“No.” Chef replied and left as DJ sighed.

Confessional: DJ

“Chef was right, I am weak. I’m too afraid to leave the alliance despite it being illegal! Momma deserves better.” DJ sighed.

“This is fun, huh, bestie? Imagine if there was no challenge today.” Beth told Lindsay.

“Oh my gosh. We could totally just hang out and braid each other's hair. I would love that, bestie.” Lindsay replied.

“Some of us are trying to keep up our string to actually win the competition.” Heather said as she took another sandwich from Beth and ate it.

“We don't think there is one today.” Lindsay said.

“There better be. I am here to win a million dollars and the faster I eliminate you two pathetic, spineless followers, the better.” Heather replied and left.

Confessional: Lindsay

“You see those little bumps back there? Those are totally a spine. I am not a follower. Like at cheerleading, I'm right in the middle of the pyramid. And when all my sisters and I decide on something, like where to go shopping or whatevs, I'm always the third vote. That's not... oh. Well, I can change! Uh, if that;s okay with you guys.” Lindsay said as she showed an X-Ray of herself.

“Attention all Total Drama victims! Please meet me in the northeast corner of the Studio Palooza! Bring lozenges! The screaming's gonna hurt.” Chris announced from the loudspeaker as Beth gulped.

“There is a challenge. Just promise we can still do the hair braiding?” Beth asked.

“I think I'll do a French.” Lindsay replied as the two left.

Cut to everyone at the top of the hill. “We walk all the way over here and Lieutenant Slick can't even be bothered to show up?” Heather asked.

“Maybe he’s racked up too much overtime figuring out new ways to torture us.” Justin said.

“Or maybe he’s just about to activate a giant death trap that we’re standing on.” Noah said.

Suddenly Chris fell from the air. “Whoa!” Chris grunted as he was seemingly impaled on a camera which made everyone but Beth, who wheezed instead, scream.

“Or the death trap was for himself.” Noah said.

“Huh. Guess the producers don't like paying overtime.” Justin said as he looked at Chris laying impaled on the light.

“I'm worth every dime.” Chris said as he suddenly got up.

“Aw man. I was just gonna call dibs on your boat.” Duncan sighed.

“It's the magic of cinema, boys and girls! I'm absolutely, perfectly, Chrisally fine. Wanna see how it's done?” Chris asked.

“No!” Everyone sighed.

“Our cracker-jack effects team seals fake blood into a thin membrane of plastic called a squib. This little baby bursts on impact. An old fashion optical illusion helps sell that I've been impaled.” Chris explained anyway as a visual guide was shown.

“Can we just get on with this?” Noah asked.

“I actually agree with "little buddy" for once.” Duncan said which made Noah look annoyed.

Confessional: Noah

“I can tolerate Owen calling me his "little buddy" since I actually like him. Duncan’s another story.” Noah said.

“I can't believe you're so unscarable! You didn't even scream!” Lindsay told Beth.

“I did on the inside. I just can't do it on the outside.” Beth replied.

“Huh?” Lindsay asked.

“When I was ten, and they were doing my tonsillectomy, there was a freak accident and the doctor's earring fell in my throat. Can't scream worth a darn.” Beth replied.

“Get out!” Lindsay said, surprised.

“Serious.” Beth nodded.

“Time for today's totally terrifying, blood-curdling horror movie challenge! To figure out which team gets which challenge, a scream-off! Think of every great horror movie you've ever seen.” Chris explained.

“All I can think of is generic cringe.” Noah said.

“Ha. Oh my gosh, you guys. Did you see that one with the possessed rug that learns to walk and smother cats? Or did I make that up?” Izzy asked.

“That’s actually a real movie… somehow.” Eva said.

“All horror movies have one thing in common.” Chris continued.

“Too many jump scares?” Noah asked.

“Dark basements?” Eva asked.

“Creepy dolls?” Heather asked.

“Wrong, wrong and wrong! It’s actually fantastic s creaming from actors. And the killers who snuff them. Each team, pick a serial killer. The rest of you will be the screamers. If your serial killer can make you scream the loudest, your team wins!” Chris explained.

Cut to the Gaffers in a city set. “We have to pick Duncan, of course. Have you ever seen someone so serial killery?” Heather said.

“She does have a point there.” Tyler said.

“I'm terrified of him on a daily basis.” Harold agreed.

“Plus, he nailed the other acting challenges.” Leshawna said.

“DJ's gotta do it!” Chef suddenly said as he came and stole the mask from Duncan.

“But it's the first time our team's ever agreed on anything!” Harold said.

“DJ is doing it.” Chef angrily said.

“Uh, listen, Chef. Maybe you can stick to your area of expertise with the sandwiches, and I'll stick to mine. Ah…” Duncan said as Chef lifted him.

“Do you like having your arms attached to your torso?” Chef asked as he threatened to break Duncan’s arm.

Confessional: Duncan

“Arms are good. They throw things, feed you things, there's something to put in your sleeves. And if there's one thing I learned in home ec class, always listen to the dude with the knives.” Duncan said.

“Okay, okay! I surrender!” Duncan said as Chef threw him away and made DJ wear the mask.

“Since when does Chef interfere in challenges? Smells kinda funny to me.” Leshawna thought.

“Oh, that's me. Sorry. I was saving them for later.” Harold said as he pulled out sandwiches from his pockets.

“Can I have one?” Tyler asked.

Cut to the Grips in a city set. “Y ou guys gotta let me be the killer! The mask offers good protection for my beautiful face!” Justin said.

“Boo.” Noah said in an emotionless voice.

“Ah! Not cool!” Justin angrily said as Noah laughed.

“Okay, I am such the better scarer. My own dog is terrified of me, okay?” Izzy said.

“But you're cute as a bug in a rug!” Owen said as Izzy glared at him.

“Hello? Are you forgetting someone? I could scare the crap out of all of you.” Eva said.

“Hey, you guys? Um, Beth?” Lindsay said.

“Later, Lindsay. I wanna be the killer, okay? And that's it.” Justin replied.

“Boo.” Noah said again, scaring Justin.

“Stop that!” Justin angrily said as Noah burst into laughter.

“But look at my scary face!” Izzy said as she made silly faces.

“D'aw, that's not scary, that's adorable.” Owen said.

“Oh yeah!? How about this!?” Izzy said as she growled at Owen.

“This is a scary face.” Owen said.

“I’m the obvious choice!” Eva said.

“Beth is going to be our serial killer and that is that!” Lindsay yelled, shocking everyone. “What? Beth's a non-screamer. We have to have her as the killer or we're going down!” Lindsay explained.

“Well if you think about it like that.” Noah shrugged.

“I still want to be the killer.” Eva said.

Confessional: Lindsay

“Can I just tell you that felt so delicious! It was almost better than being pretty. Well, almost. Tyler was right, I can totally be the leader of my team!” Lindsay said.

Cut to Harold, Noah and Justin in a dark forest set. “Dude, you should see a doctor about that.” Justin told Harold as he saw that he had a runny nose.

“I have allergies, all right? Gosh!” Harold angrily said.

“Yeesh, get worked up over nothing much?” Noah sarcastically said.

“All right. Justin and Harold, prepare yourselves for your killers to enter! And then, I want huge, massive, ginormous screams! We'll be measuring the volume on our scream-o-meter! Lights! Camera! Action!” Chris explained as a meter popped up on the screen while he clipped a clipboard.

Cut to Justin and Noah walking around. “Boo!” Beth said as she popped up out of a bush and yelled.

“Ahh. I'm so scared!” Justin said, barely reaching 22.

“I'm sorry, I just can't risk my pipes any further. What good is a face like this without my warm, yet manly tones to back it up?” Justin said.

“Boo.” Noah said.

“Eek! I told you to stop that!” Justin said, scoring a 23.

“Hey, it increased the score by a point.” Noah shrugged.

Confessional: Noah

“Some things just never stop being funny.” Noah said.

Cut to DJ behind a tree. “I don't think I can do this.” DJ said to himself.

“Get out there and do your job!” Chef yelled as he popped up behind the tree.

“Ah!” DJ said as he ran out and bumped into Harold.

“Oh! Hey, DJ. What's up?” Harold asked. DJ replied by scaring him and making him score a 50.

“With a solid fifty on the scream-o-meter, let's notch one up for DJ, Harold, and the Screaming Gaffers!” Chris explained.

“Sweet.” Harold said.

Cut to Leshawna in the toilet. “There is some serious indignity going on in this scenario. I mean, I'm being filmed sitting on the potty!” Leshawna said.

Cut to Lindsay in the toilet. “That was an accidental tinkle on screen last season. I'm not doing it again. And how am I supposed to be scared when I know Beth is coming in any minute and she's not scary at–” Lindsay explained as the door suddenly opened.

“Ahhh!” Beth yelled, making Lindsay scream so loud she scored an 78.

Cut to Leshawna in the toilet when DJ suddenly entered. “Oh! I-I-I'm sorry, I-I busted in on your private moment. Boy, is my face red. Behind the mask.” DJ said.

“You wanna win? Do the scene, DJ!” Leshawna said.

“Rawr.” DJ lightly said as Leshawna facepalmed.

Cut to Lindsay screaming in the toilet when suddenly she started peeing, making her scream more and reach an 85. “You're doing so good, I'm not even being scary anymore, look!” Beth said as she took off the mask.

Cut to Leshawna in the toilet. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just... I'm supposed to be afraid of this marshmallow? This, this big ol' kitten of a DJ?” Leshawna laughed.

Cut to Chris outside the toilets. “And that's round two to Beth, Lindsay, and the Killer Grips. With a pee-fueled eighty-five on the scream-o-meter!” Chris said.

“Hmm, if DJ won't step up, the other half of the alliance has to.” Chef said from behind a tree.

Cut to Owen, Izzy and Eva sitting on a couch while Heather, Duncan and Tyler sat on another one. “All right, guys. This is the tiebreaker scene. You're gonna have to act your faces off.” Chris explained.

“Oh, boy.  I'm not the world's greatest actor.” Owen chuckled as the interns gave the people on the couch scripts.

“How horror movie is this? We have to make out.” Izzy said.

“I love this business! Hubba hubba!” Owen said as they started making out.

“Could you at least not do that while I’m here!?” Eva angrily said.

“Awkward.” Chris chuckled.

“No. No, no, no. I would rather die.” Heather gasped as she saw the script and tossed it away.

“That makes two of us, lady.” Duncan said as he tossed the script away.

“Come on guys, for the team.” Tyler told them.

“No.” Heather and Duncan replied.

“Don't forget kiddies, it's a million bucks.” Chris said as Heather and Duncan sighed and reluctantly kissed while closing their eyes.

“Bleh! Ew!” Heather said in disgust.

“Ugh…” Duncan said in disgust.

“You taste like street!” Heather angrily said.

“Ahhhh!” DJ yelled as he popped out from behind the couch.

“Mommy!” Tyler yelled, scoring a 66.

“Ah! My lips may never recover!” Heather yelled in disgust, scoring a 69.

“Urgh! I'm gonna chop you into little teriyaki bits! Um, guys?” Beth said as she jumped on the couch.

“Hm? Oh.” Owen said as he noticed her.

“Ahhh.” Owen and Izzy yelled, scoring a 33 as they continued kissing.

“I don’t scream.” Eva said.

Suddenly Chef burst into the room with a killer costume with a chainsaw, causing Heather, Duncan, Tyler and DJ to scream. DJ did the highest with 100. “Tell my momma I loved her…” DJ said as he fell unconscious on the couch.

“ Well, looks to me like DJ and the well-named Screaming Gaffers have won this won, seeing as they buried the needle. Join us after the break to see if DJ's still alive.” Chris said.

“DJ? Come in, DJ.” Tyler said as he touched DJ’s back.

“I think you broke him.” Heather told Chef.

“Oops.” Chef said as he saw what he did.

Cut to everyone standing above DJ. “Is he breathing?” Tyler asked.

“I think he's saying something!” Leshawna said.

“Mama?” DJ mumbled.

“Well, that’s something.” Eva said.

(Dream) DJ was standing on a cloud when  he saw his Momma. “Mama! I'm here! Mama! It's me, mama. It's poopy-doo. Your little Devon Joseph poopy-doo.” DJ told Momma.

“The son I raised would never lie! Or cheat!” Momma angrily said.

“Momma please, I’m sorry! I don’t know what to do!” DJ said.

“Can you even call me your Momma after doing the opposite of what I thought you!?” Momma angrily said.

“But.. I don’t know what to do!” DJ said.

“You need to figure that out yourself.” Momma said as she slapped DJ.

Heather slapped DJ as he sat on a chair, waking him up.

“I need to see Chef!” DJ said as Heather slapped him again.

“Heather!” Leshawna angrily said.

“What? He's still talking crazy.” Heather said.

“You don’t understand, I–” DJ tried to say but was interrupted.

“Chef's in a meeting with the producers. A disciplinary meeting. He's in trouble! Not allowed to mess with the challenges.” Chris said.

“I knew something was up.” Leshawna said.

“You're like Albert Einstein with better hair and girly bits.” Harold complimented.

“So he won’t be here for the rest of the challenge?” DJ asked.

“Yup! Moving right along, it's time to pack up those overnight bags, loser Grips. You and your sleeping bags are spending the night in the dining hall. Gaffer winners, back to the comfort of the trailers for a little R and R. I'll see you there in half an hour.” Chris explained and left.

Confessional: DJ

“Just as I thought, Momma hates me now. I need to figure out how to properly end this alliance.” DJ said.

Cut to the Grips in the craft services tent. “This isn't such a bad place to spend the night. It's full of good memories... of food.” Owen said.

“Hoho! More than memories! I just found half a piece of cheesecake!” Izzy said as she showed a cheesecake.

“I think I love you.” Owen said as he ate it.

“Where did you even find it?” Eva asked.

“Oh you know, Imagine going to an online chat and spamming it with brainless text for no reason.” Izzy replied.

“Uh… sure!?” Eva said, weirded out.

“Guys, you mind joining us here? I'm about to tell you... why this film lot was abandoned and closed.” Chris said as all the Grips gathered around him.

“Because it's a death trap?” Justin asked.

“Hush, my child. This film lot is perfectly safe on this plane. But on the other dimension…” Chris began as Owen gasped. “Ronnie the Rent-a-cop, a designated security guard who worked here for twenty-five loyal years until her mysterious death right here... on this very spot! Now, he desperate and uneasy spirit walks the lot. No one has ever managed to spend a whole night in this craft service tent.” he continued.

“Because they were killed by falling sets?” Eva asked.

“'Cause... of the haunting! Your task? Spend the whole night here without leaving this tent. If you manage to do so, your team gets invincibility and nobody goes home. Track any psychic phenomenon using these ghost meters. And just in case…” Chris said and gave Noah a tiny flashlight.

“Gee, thanks.” Noah said, looking at the flashlight to see it barely lit anything.

Cut to the Gaffers outside the tent. “The Killer Grips are sitting in the craft services tent like sitting ducks. Your task is to make like special effects gurus, and frighten the pants off them. Or at least scare them enough to get them out of the tent before dawn.” Chris told them after getting out of the tent.

“How are we supposed to scare them?” Heather asked.

“It's your call. But if you get them out, your team wins invincibility and nobody goes home. Oh, just so you know, I told them some cockamamie story about a security guard who died on set.” Chris chuckled and left.

“How are we gonna pull this off?” DJ asked.

“Just turn out the lights, Beth's afraid of her own shadow.” Leshawna said.

“Maybe we can use ghosts?” Tyler asked.

“Chainsaws! I love a good chainsaw!” Duncan said.

“I got it!” Harold said.

Cut to the Gaffers where Harold was holding a ball covered in a sheet above the tent with a fishing pole. “Thank you, my lovely assistants. Now The Magnificent Harold is ready to scare our opponents into submission with the fantasm ball!” Harold announced.

“I can't believe we're putting our team's fate in the hands of The Great Dorko.” Duncan said.

“You will quake, mortal. Before all I've learned at Magic Steve's Magic Camp. Behold!” Harold said as he lowerved the ball.

Cut to everyone inside the tent. “Do you have a seven?” Owen asked.

“How do you always know? It's like you're psychotic!” Lindsay said.

“Or you’re just holding it the wrong way.” Noah said as he rolled his eyes when Beth suddenly saw something and wheezed.

“I know, right, Beth? Owen's totally got SNP!” Lindsay said as everyone suddenly saw the ball, thinking it was a ghost and screamed.

“Wait! I said wait! The ghost meter's aren't reading a thing!” Lindsay said as she looked at the ghost meter Chris gave them.

Confessional: Lindsay

“I am really grooving on this suggesting business. I think it totally fits me! With Trent out of the game, I'm kind of leading my team. How do you like me now, Heather?” Lindsay taunted.

“Tangy salt and vinegar, she's gonna die!” Owen said as Lindsay took the sheet off, revealing it was a ball.

“Oh, my gosh! It's just a trick!” Beth said.

“We probably should have seen that coming.” Eva said.

Meanwhile, Duncan saw the ball Harold used and looked upset. “What?” Harold asked.

“You stuck a hook in my soccer ball?” Duncan angrily said.

“It was all in the name of magic! You have to admit, it was quite-- Hey!” Harold tried to say but was interrupted.

“Zip it, Harry Houd-weenie. I'm taking charge now.” Duncan said as he shoved his hand away.

Cut to the Gaffers in the kitchen. “Hm, needs more corn syrup. It's not quite scabby enough.” Duncan said as he mixed some stuff to make it look like blood.

“I'll get you some.” DJ said and left.

“Respect, Duncan! It really looks like blood!” Leshawna said.

“Devil's night, my brothers and I used to wait outside kindergarten with this goop dripping off us. Ha, one year, I gave a dozen five-year-olds seizures.” Duncan replied.

“And... respect deleted.” Leshawna said.

“Well, at least it’s probably going to work.” Tyler said.

“You really know your way around the kitchen, huh?” Harold told DJ.

“Well, I do like to cook stuff.” DJ said nervously.

Cut to the Grips inside the tent. “Do you have a ten?” Beth asked Justin.

“Maybe. Care to make it interesting? Ahh!” Justin said as he saw something that looked like blood dripping from the wall.

“The... walls!” Izzy yelled as Justin, Owen and Noah screamed while Beth wheezed.

“Wait. What do you smell?” Lindsay said as she sniffed the wall.

“Fear! And fear smells like... ketchup?” Owen asked as he smelled it.

“Exactly. Lick the walls, Owen.” Lindsay told Owen who shook his head.

“Just like the damn walls, Owen!” Eva yelled.

“Wow. When you're freaking me out, it's time to cash in the chips.” Izzy said.

“Yeesh ok, I’m going. Heheh. Mm. Tasty.” Owen said as he licked the wall, tasting that it was a mixture.

Meanwhile in the kitchen, Tyler was holding the bowl used to drop the sauce. “Uh… there’s no more sauce left.” Tyler told the other Gaffers.

“Anyone else have any brilliant ideas? Anybody who's not Duncan?” Heather asked.

“DJ hasn't said anything, and anybody that quiet's gotta be thinking something.” Leshawna said.

“I don't like scaring people. Mama said it's not gentlemanly, and-- “ DJ tried to say but was interrupted.

“Well, mama ain't here, is she?” Leshawna angrily said.

“And Papa Duncan wants to win and go to bed! So?” Duncan angrily said.

“Come on guys, lay off him if he doesn’t want to do it he doesn’t want to.” Tyler said.

“Yeah, I can come up with a plan.” Harold agreed.

“No. I can do this. So, here’s the plan.” DJ began explaining.

Confessional: DJ

“I realized that you can’t just run away from your problems. Being scared won’t get me anywhere, you need to take charge to find the right way.” DJ said.

Cut to the Grips in the tent. “Give me all your twos!” Lindsay said as suddenly the lights shut off.

“Um, is it okay if I give you my twos later?” Beth asked.

Meanwhile, Duncan was holding a walkie-talkie outside. “Night has fallen.” Duncan whispered to it.

“Excellent work, Eclipse. Foxy lady, you there?” DJ whispered to a walkie-talkie in the kitchen.

“Foxy lady at the ready.” Leshawna whispered to a walkie-talkie behind the tent.

Meanwhile, in the tent the Grips looked scared. “Remember, everyone. This is just Chris trying to scare us, and Lindsay's team doesn't give up!” Lindsay said.

“"Lindsay's team"?” Izzy asked as they suddenly heard some ghostly moaning which was made by Leshawna with a megaphone.

Meanwhile, Harold and Tyler were on the roof. “That's a go from Magic Harold and his charming assistant.” Harold said as he lowered Heather, who was wearing a guard uniform, with a rope.

“Uh, what the heck is that!?” Noah asked.

“It's a poltergeist!” Owen said.

“Runtergeist!” Izzy said as she, Owen, Noah, Beth and Justin ran out.

“Wait! The ghost meters still aren't going off!” Lindsay said as she looked at the radar.

“It’s probably a fake.” Eva said as DJ threw a spoon at the radar from the kitchen, causing it to go off and make Lindsay run away while screaming.

“Wait! Ah, forget this!” Eva said and ran away as well.

“And that's how we win it! Whoo!” Leshawna cheered from outside the tent.

“Yes! DJ? Are you okay? DJ?” Heather asked DJ as he came and saw her hanging with a rope from the ceiling, causing him to gasp.

(Dream) “Mama hates a cheater, Devon Joseph! I'm very disappointed in you, poopy-doo.” Momma told DJ as he looked disappointed.

“Hello? Is anybody gonna help me down from here? Ow!” Heather said as the Gaffers all came in the tent while the rope holding her snapped, causing her to fall.

Cut to the award ceremony. “And now, fraidy-cat Grips, it's time to announce who will not win a Gilded Chris this week! Who deserves to go home bitterly disappointed, tears in their eyes?” Chris began the ceremony.

“Hot Boy! You refused to scream due to not wanting to damage your vocal cords that no one cares about.” Chef called out Justin who looked offended.

Confessional: Justin

“No one cares about my vocal cords!? Multiple people said that they were my most attractive feature!” Justin said.

“Fat Boy and Crazy Girl, you two were too distracted by kissing to scream!” Chef called out Owen and Izzy who looked like they wanted to kiss.

“Bookworm, you lazed off like you always do.” Chef called out Noah who looked like he didn’t care.

“Finally, Dumb Blonde! You insisted that you lead your team, and yet failed to win the challenge!” Chef called out Lindsay who looked upset.

“What? I can't be going. Why would people be mad at me? Beth?” Lindsay asked.

“I guess someone might have thought you were bossy?” Beth said.

“Hello! It's called leadership.” Lindsay replied.

“I’m not voting you?” Beth replied.

“The one who gets called out last always goes home! It’s a tradition!” Lindsay said.

“And the Gilded Chrises go to…” Chris began tossing the awards.

“Izzy.” he said as he tossed her a reward. 

“Beth.” he said as he tossed her a reward.

“Owen.” he said as he tossed him a reward.

“Eva.” he said as he tossed her a reward. 

“and Lindsay. Still on the chopping block, Noah and Justin.” he said as he tossed Lindsay a reward while Justin and Noah glared at each other. “And the final Gilded Chris goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Stop! I'm gonna do what I should've done long ago! Make mama proud. I'm voting myself off!” DJ interrupted as he came on the stage with the other Gaffers.

“DJ! Heh... why don't you and I have a chat before you do anything stupid.” Chef angrily replied.

“No, Chef! I'm not listening to you anymore! Chef and me... we had an illegal alliance. He's been tutoring me in tough, coaching me through the challenges. I'll miss you all.” DJ said as everyone gasped.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! You've been cooking all the delicious food? The pizza? The cheesecake? The sandwiches?” Owen asked.

“Dude, you can't leave!” Duncan said.

“We can’t go back to slop again!” Noah said.

“Yeah! Can't we just vote Chef off instead?” Justin agreed.

“What!?” Chef angrily asked.

“Sorry, but I gotta make it right... for mama.” DJ said.

“Aww…” Everyone awed.

Confessional: Chef

“I can’t believe DJ stood up to me! I must have taught him well.” Chef chuckled.

Cut to DJ entering the Lame-O-Sine.

“Please still send food! Pretty please with delicious sandwiches on top?” Owen begged as the Lame-O-Sine left.

“Well, folks. Looks like Owen's gravy train just high-tailed it out of town. Now that he's survived this week's fright fest, will Owen be able to bear the most horrific, stomach-churning, gut-wrenching challenge ever?” Chris said as he squashed Owen’s face.

“What is it?” Owen asked.

“Chef's cooking! I love this game.” Chris replied, making Owen scream and puke on his shoes. “Dude, not the shoes!” he complained as the episode ended.

VOTES

Confessional: Lindsay

“Noah. He isn’t hot or nice!” Lindsay said as she chose to eliminate Noah on the device.

Confessional: Justin

“Noah. That guy is just pathetic and annoying. Also, he scared me today.” Justin said as he chose to eliminate Noah on the device.

Confessional: Beth

“Out of everyone left, I like Noah the least.” Beth said as she chose to eliminate Noah on the device.

Confessional: Noah

“Hopefully this brings down his pretty face a peg.” Noah said as he chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

Confessional: Owen

“I’ll choose randomly again! I don’t want to vote for anyone right now.” Owen said as he closed his eyes and picked a random person to eliminate on the device. It was Lindsay.

Confessional: Eva

“Justin’s completely useless and annoying.” Eva said as she chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

Confessional: Izzy

“Come on, can’t Justin go for once?” Izzy said as she chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

BONUS CLIP

DJ’s Lame-O-Sine Clip

“Well, being booted is sad but also better than being in an illegal alliance. Besides, wednesday, mama and I will go to the petting zoo. She likes the ducks because they have honest faces. I like the bunnies 'cause they don't bite. I hope she's not as mad at me in real life as she was in my dream. I did the right thing in the end. Isn't that what matters? So I lost out on a million bucks. I still have my integrity. Well, with everyone who didn't watch the show, I guess. As for the people that did watch the show, maybe I could bake them my famous cinnamon buns. I managed to toughen up more than I thought.” DJ said.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action... The world's toughest Chef used spoons to bring out DJ's killer instinct.” Chris began the recap.

(Flashback) “This is not about right or wrong, son. It's about you and me, winning that cool mil.” Chef replied.

“It was no thanks to DJ that Duncan and Heather had the bejeebies scared out of them. Victory seemed within reach, as DJ won the scream-off. Lindsay surprised everyone by taking charge, earning the respect of her teammates.” Chris continued.

(Flashback) “Beth is going to be our serial killer and that is that!” Lindsay yelled, shocking everyone.

“Just as the Killer Grips were about to cut someone loose, DJ's conscience, A.K.A. Mama DJ, got the best of him. DJ called himself out as a cheater, hopped into the Lame-O-Sine, and rode off into the sunset. How will the contestants survive without DJ's gourmet cooking? Was it coriander or tarragon he used in that casserole? Discover all that and more in another thrilling and filling episode of Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song)

Cut to everyone in the craft services tent eating Chef’s crappy cooking. Harold took a bite and immediately spat it out. “Ugh! I really miss DJ's cooking. It was as awesome as this is completely grossitating.” Harold said.

“The people back at my farm made better food using only wheat pieces.” Beth said.

“Ppft, like that’s anything impressive. I bet this stuff isn’t even edible.” Heather said.

“We are eating it right now.” Beth replied.

“Owen is the only one who ate it.” Noah said.

“And I eat anything! Unless it’s like, poo stained.” Owen said.

“I hope you don’t eat that stuff!” Beth said.

“This one time, I ate a whole bunch of broccoli! Covered in ketchup!” Owen said.

“That doesn’t surprise me after seeing you eat all the chocolate covered pickles.” Eva said.

Confessional: Izzy

“Big-O’s eating habits are so cute! He’s like a human trash dumpster! This one time, I ended up throwing an entire bottle of coke with a mentos in it to one. It ended up blowing on my face! You could see the scar, but I’d need to remove the bandage to do it and ow! It kinda hurts to do that.” Izzy said as she loosened the bandage on her neck.

“Well Beth, I’d definitely like to eat the food your family makes after the game.” Justin flirted.

“S-Sure! I’d b-be happy to h-have you over!” Beth stuttered.

“You can’t deny he’s good at this.” Eva whispered to Noah.

“You haven’t fallen for him.” Noah said.

“I don’t do romance. It’s not my thing.” Eva replied.

Meanwhile Justin went to sit next to Owen. “Oh hi Justin, what’s up?” Owen asked.

“Oh nothing, man. I just want to ask, did you vote for me yesterday?” Justin asked.

“Oh no! I chose randomly, I don’t want to choose between my friends.” Owen said.

“Huh. That’s nice of you.” Justin said as he winked, making Owen blush.

“Uh! Yeah! I’m gonna go to the toilet.” Owen said as he left.

Confessional: Owen

“Man, Justin’s so hot I can’t help but blush around him, especially when he got that close! Don’t worry Izzy, I still love you the most!” Owen said.

Confessional: Justin

“While Owen is allied with Noah, it seems that he does not want to vote for me. I can use this to my advantage.” Justin thought.

Confessional: Izzy

“If that pretty boy tries to steal Big-O from me, I’ll make him regret being ever born!” Izzy threatened.

Confessional: Noah & Eva

“Well, you’re not attracted to him but Owen is. This makes things a lot harder.” Noah said.

“Not only girls but guys too? Yeesh, that guy’s a flirt machine, that’s annoying.” Eva said.

“Ah, I can eat this. Ow! Never mind.” Tyler said as he bit into the rock hard food.

“Maybe next time, don’t bite into something as hard as a rock dweeb.” Duncan said.

Confessional: Tyler

“Who works out their teeth muscles anyway? I’m totally strong in other areas!” Tyler boasted.

“Bendy straws! These are just like the ones they had at the hospital where I had my kidneys switched.” Harold said as he took some straws.

“Huh?” Tyler asked.

“I was born with a rare kidney condition. My left kidney was where the right one should be.” Harold explained.

“You had a surgical kidney swap?” Leshawna asked.

“That’s so awesome!” Tyler said as he high fived Harold.

“That's right. I'm a rare case.” Harold boasted.

“Hm. You're a rare case, all right.” Heather said.

“Whatever. I'm loading up.” Harold said as he took more straws.

“What kind of dweeb has a bendy straw collection anyway?” Duncan asked as Tyler licked a piece of gruel.

“I think Jockless's taste buds packed up and moved to France right about now.” Heather said in disgust.

“Better to eat something than nothing.” Tyler said.

“I wish I had this disgusting slop around last time I was trying to stick to my diet.” Lindsay said when suddenly Chef showed his head from the kitchen.

“This haute cuisine is obviously too complex for our unsophisticated taste buds, right?” Harold immediately said when he saw him as everyone nodded.

“I give it five stars!” Tyler said as he licked the food.

“I hate suck-ups.” Chef said and left.

Confessional: Chef

“After my illegal alliance was exposed, Chris lowered my nonexistent paycheck and made me do more work! If this shit keeps going on, I’m going to sue for hard labor!” Chef angrily said.

“Not to worry, folks. You won't be hanging on to your lunch for much longer.” Chris chuckled as he walked in the tent.

“And exactly what torture have you concocted for us today?” Duncan asked.

“Oh, nothing. Just that your day will be total disaster. Get it? It's a disaster movie theme! You know? Like in disaster flicks? People running for their lives from volcanoes, earthquakes, asteroids, tidal waves. The more disastrous, the better.” Chris explained as a gif of Chef running away from natural disasters played.

Confessional: Lindsay

“My hair is already a total disaster! It's been three weeks since I've had a trim! Split ends city! How much worse could it get?” Lindsay said.

Confessional: Eva

“There is no disaster in the world that can stop me! I’m a one woman disaster destroying machine!” Eva boasted.

Cut to everyone at a disaster movie themed obstacle course. “Your first challenge is... the earthquake of inevitable pain! Each team has to run the course, challenging your dexterity, maneuverability, and other mad monkey skills. First team to the top wins! Best out of two earns today's reward.” Chris explained.

“Ooh! I once had a summer job cleaning up after earthquakes and land slides!” Tyler said.

“Really! Can I see?” Lindsay asked.

“Maybe after this show ends.” Tyler said.

“Hey guys, do you wanna see the electronic salad spinner I bought? It can make the food less hard!” Izzy said as she put the hard food in a salad spinner. She tried working it but it ended up shooting the food at her face.

Confessional: Izzy

“Man, I can’t believe I got scammed! Again!” Izzy complained.

“Enough with the chitty chat. Take your marks…” Chris said as everyone prepared to run through the course.

“This'll be a cinch.” Heather said.

“I can't wait to swing on the monkey bars.” Beth said.

“And... action!” Chris said as they all started running through the course.

“How easy is this?” Izzy said as she ran through some tires.

“Are you ready to rock?!” Chris said and pulled a lever, making the course shake and causing Izzy and Beth to fall in a tire.

“If you break it, you buy it!” Izzy told Beth and laughed.

“What!?” Beth asked.

“Oh!” Duncan grunted as he and Heather collapsed.

Meanwhile Harold and Leshawna were climbing the monkey bars. “Perfect time to get rid of some old junk. Heh heh…” Chef said as he climbed a ladder at the end of the course and tossed a basketball.

“Ow, my right kidney!” Harold said as he was hit alongside Leshawna and fell. Chef searched for more stuff and found a rubber duck that he threw at Justin.

“Ah! My precious cheek bones…” Justin said as he rubbed his cheek.

“That the best you got?” Eva said as she jumped off the monkey bars and punched away a wrench that Chef threw when Chris suddenly stopped the shaking.

“Ugh. Finally, a break.” Noah said.

“Aftershock!” Chris said as he turned the shaking back on again, causing some of them to tumble down.

“Oh, haha... urk... My delicious lunch lost forever!” Owen said as he puked outside the course.

“Oh, yeah. That reminds me. It's lava time!” Chris said as he turned on a lever that made tomato soup fall.

“You can’t be serious.” Noah said as everyone got on the monkey bars to not get hit.

“Tomato soup?! That was supposed to be for supper.” Chef said as he tasted the soup from the top.

“Hoo-wee! Is it getting hot in here? How 'bout a cool, refreshing hail storm?! Golf ball-sized hail is bad. But hail-sized golf balls are even worse!” Chris said as he came with a mini cart alongside Chef that had a golf ball gun.

“No golf ball can stop me! Ow! Oof!” Izzy said as she got shot and was blasted into a tunnel.

“I got one!” Chris boasted.

“Don't get cocky, kid.” Chef replied as Chris shot golf balls at the monkey bars.

“No! Not the face!” Justin yelled as he got hit multiple times.

Confessional: Justin

“I give up. There's no way I'll get that skin care line endorsement now. oh, not so silky smooth…” Justin said as he rubbed his face while was covered with golf ball marks.

“After-aftershock!” Chris said and made it shake again, causing a crack to form.

“Whoa!” Lindsay said as she almost fell in the hole but was caught by Noah who was crushed by Owen.

“I can't breathe.” Noah grunted.

“I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.” Owen informed.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” Eva said as she pulled the three of them up.

“Ugh, thanks.” Noah said.

“Hurry, they're getting a lead!” Owen said as he saw the Gaffers pass them.

“Let’s get moving!” Beth said as she ran past them.

The Gaffers were climbing the final monkey bars when suddenly Tyler got hit by a pot and fell in a pit.

Meanwhile, the Grips were getting into the tube. “Everyone, get behind me! Ow! Ow! Shouldn't someone be yelling "Fore!"? Ow! Oh! Ee! Ah! Oh!” Owen said as he stood in front of the pipe and got hit by baseballs while his team went in.

“Fore! Haha.” Chris said as the gun ran out of golf balls.

“Hey, it stopped!” Owen said and went into the pipe.

“Chef! Do something!” Chris told Chef.

“You want something? I’ll do something!” Chef said as he crashed the car’s back into the course, hurting Chris as he began climbing the ladder.

Cut to Chef throwing stuff. He managed to hit Leshawna as the Gaffers reached the end.

“Ah! Hang on, team! We're almost there!” Owen said as they all got to the end.

“There’s the end!” Eva said as everyone but Owen and Izzy climbed the wall to reach the end.

“Please, after you.” Owen said as Chef threw random stuff.

“Oh, come on. You're the one who sacrificed himself for us. I insist.” Izzy replied.

“Ladies first.” Owen said.

“If you’re sure.” Izzy said as they started climbing.

“Ah. My unpublished manifesto. I've lived a lot of years!” Chef said as he found a heavy book and threw it at Izzy as she reached the top of the wall.

“No! Ah! “Ouchie. “That'll hurt come morning.” Owen said as he pulled Izzy out of the way and got hit by the book in the jaw instead of her.

“Oh no! Owen! Are you okay?!” Izzy asked as she saw Owen whining on the ground.

“My editor was right. My life really is dangerous. Heh heh.” Chef chuckled.

Confessional: Beth

“Did Owen actually break his jaw?! That's so tragic! Owen lives to eat!” Beth said.

Confessional: Izzy

“Owen is my buddy! He's the only one who truly gets me, he even got hit by a book for me! If something happens to Owen, I'll be stuck with my imaginary friends. And let's face it. I should've ditched them years ago. Yeah, Phil. I'm talking to you!” Izzy said as she hit her head.

Confessional: Eva

“That looked painful, his jaw looked extremely messed up.” Eva said.

“Um, Chris? Why doesn't the crew go over and help him?” Leshawna asked as Owen screamed.

“Yeah, yeah. As soon as we're done getting every shot. The good news is, it looks like Owen won the challenge for the Killer Grips.” Chris said as the Grips cheered.

“Oh no, he didn't!” Leshawna angrily said.

“Yeah, we got our whole team across the finish line!” Harold agreed.

“Serious injury trumps all.” Chris said.

“You just make up the rules as you go along, don't you?” Heather angrily asked.

“I love my job.” Chris said to the camera.

Cut to Owen being taken away by an ambulance while everyone looked concerned. “The wounded Owen. What will become of him? Stay tuned to find out!” Chris said.

Cut to the two teams in rafts in the sea in front of a submarine. “How's Owen doing?” Izzy asked Chris who was on the shore alongside Chef.

“Oh, Owen's fine. A little broken jaw, but it's all wired shut now. Shouldn't take more than four to six weeks to heal.” Chris replied.

“Oh no! It's that bad?” Beth asked.

“I mean, he's doing fine.” Chris corrected.

Confessional: Chris

“That's what release forms are for! Correctamundo?” Chris said.

“All right. Now it's time for the second disaster-themed challenge. Who's excited?” Chris asked but no one responded. “Because of Owen's win, the Grips have the advantage of getting this handy dandy piece of paper for the second disaster challenge.” he continued and made a paper airplane which he threw at the Grips raft and ended up hitting Lindsay in the face.

“What good is this? It just has some dumb numbers on it.” Lindsay asked.

“Oh I don’t know… maybe it’s the lock combination we won!?” Noah angrily said.

“Okay, time to get inside.” Chris said, talking about the submarines.

“You crazy? I'm not getting in that tin can!” Leshawna said.

“Not even for a million bucks?” Chris asked.

“Better be carpeted in there.” Leshawna sighed.

Cut to the Gaffers inside their submarine. “I don't like this. Not one little bit.” Leshawna said.

Cut to the Grips inside their submarine when suddenly an alarm started beeping. “What's going on?” Justin asked.

“We’re all gonna die!” Beth yelled.

“For this challenge, you've gotta get out before it's too late.” Chris announced from some speakers in the submarines while he was in the security room with Chef.

“Too late? Too late for what?” Heather asked.

“Oh, you'll find out.” Chris replied.

“Pick up two.” Chef told Chris while they were playing card games.

“You mind cranking that lever?” Chris asked Chef as he shrugged and pulled the lever.

Cut to the Grips inside their submarine. “What is that?” Justin asked as he pointed at a leak that ended up dropping water into the submarine.

“This must be the challenge they set up for us. We have to escape from this submarine death trap or whatever!” Izzy said.

“I think we have to escape from the hatch there. Ugh! Open!” Eva said as she tried to open the hatch in the bottom.

“It’s obviously locked Iron Woman.” Noah said.

“Ugh, great! Can’t they make a challenge easy for once in their lives!?” Izzy angrily asked, surprising Eva and Noah.

Cut to the Gaffers inside their submarine where it was filling up with water. “This water is freezing! And it's too dark to see anything!” Heather complained.

“Maybe we need to break the submarine!” Tyler said as he started punching the submarine, hurting his hands.

“That makes no sense doofus, you’re just hurting your hands.” Duncan said.

“You got any bright ideas?” Tyler asked.

“No problem, I've got great night vision. A lot of the stuff I get up to happens when the sun goes down. This should help. Get to work, everybody!” Duncan said as he pulled out some flashlights from  a box.

Cut to the Grips inside their submarine. Izzy accidentally fell on a vane, turning it and hitting her head on it. “Oof! Wow. Heh, what a head rush.” Izzy said as she rubbed her head.

“Yay for Izzy's hard head!” Lindsay said.

“Hey, look. I think it's a way out!” Justin said as he pointed at the roof hatch.

“Or maybe that's the exit!” Beth said.

“We need to wait for the water to reach that, we should try the bottom hatch first.” Noah said.

“Hmph, we’ll see who’s idea is better Mr. I Know Everything.” Justin mocked.

Confessional: Noah

“What is he, two? I can come up with way better insults.” Noah boasted.

Cut to the Gaffers inside their submarine. “This one's closest, so let's try it first.” Leshawna said, pointing at the bottom hatch.

“Anyone know how to pick a lock?” Heather asked.

“Actually, I learned how to open a combo lock at Picky Steve's Lock-picking Camp!” Harold said.

“Wow, you do have mad skills.” Tyler said.

“Of course, yeah, well–” Harold tried to say but was interrupted by Duncan clearing his throat.

“The water is rising, so get to it, Haroldini.” Duncan threatened.

Cut to the Grips submarine where they were looking at the bottom hatch. “I found out what it is. It's a combination lock!” Eva said.

“Sound familiar?” Izzy asked Lindsay who just looked confused. “Yeah… I’ll just… take that.” she said and took the code from her, baffled by her stupidity.

“How are we ever going to open it?” Lindsay asked.

“Guys, we better get to it quick before the water gets too high!” Noah said.

“I'll do it.” Justin said as he took the code from Lindsay.

“No, I wanna do it.” Lindsay said as she took it back.

“Just give it to me. Lindsay. Lindsay. Lindsay.” Justin said as they fought for it.

“Look, I just-- But I wanna do it! Come on!” Lindsay said as they accidentally dropped it in the water.

“Urgh…” Izzy complained as she took the code from the water and saw it was ruined.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Noah facepalmed.

“So come on, what are the numbers? Read 'em out.” Justin asked Izzy.

“Ugh! I'm surrounded by loons!” Izzy angrily said.

“Where?” Justin asked.

“Oh, I love ducks!” Lindsay said.

“Argh!” Izzy yelled and left.

“I’m gonna lose it!” Eva said and showed Lindsay and Justin into the ground.

Confessional: Justin

“I can’t believe Eva gave me a deformity! She’s on my list now.” Justin said as he showed a hand mark on his chest.

Cut to the Gaffers submarine where the water level rising to the point where it covered the bottom hatch. “I can't do it. I need more time! If only I had gills.” Harold said as he lifted his head from underwater.

Confessional: Harold

“How cool would that be if I had gills? I really should've been born with gills. Life can be so unfair.” Harold sighed.

“Maybe we could boost each other up to reach the top hatch.” Leshawna said.

“Good idea! Climb on my back!” Tyler said as Duncan climbed his back while Leshawna climbed Duncan’s and Heather climbed Leshawna’s.

“I can't... r-reach!” Heather said as she tried to reach the top hatch to open it but failed.

“Whoa!” Duncan, Heather, Tyler and Leshawna grunted as they fell into the water.

“Did I mention I don't like water? 'Cause I don't! Not a fan!” Leshawna said as her hair became an afro due to it being wet.

“Funny. You look like a floater.” Heather mocked.

“That another big girl joke? Huh?” Leshawna angrily said as she slapped Heather.

“Oh! I was talking about your afro, dumbass!” Heather angrily said as she slapped her back.

“Ah!” Leshawna grunted as the two got into a slap fight.

“You two fight like wusses. We'll just float up to the top with the water and open the hatch.” Duncan said as he interrupted their fight.

“Funny. You don't look like a thinker. Ah!” Harold mocked as Duncan attacked him.

Cut to the Gaffers submarine where the water level was too high. “So... um... hm. Anybody got any ideas?” Izzy asked.

“Well, one time I did some underwater photo shoots and they taught me there how to hold my breath for a really long time.” Beth said.

“My agent totally wants me to learn that.” Justin said.

“I could teach you!” Beth gasped.

“Good luck with that.” Noah said as he rolled his eyes.

Confessional: Beth

“Okay, Noah is so rude! Unlike Justin, he’s so selfless and helpful! He even said he’d let me teach him, no guy ever did that before! Actually did he even say he’d let me?” Beth thought.

“Guys, we finally reached the top hatch. It might be a way out. Pull, c'mon!” Izzy said as she and Justin pulled the hatch on the top due to being able to reach it, however a shark growled at them from it when they opened it.

“No good. Any other ideas?” Justin said as he immediately closed it.

“Told you it wouldn’t work.” Noah said.

“Argh! I hate this!” Eva complained.

Cut to the Gaffers submarine. “I got it!” Heather said as she opened the top hatch but it ended up spewing fire as she quickly closed it. “Uh! Nope. No good. Any other ideas? Ugh.” Heather said as she accidentally hugged Duncan and recoiled in disgust.

Cut to the security room where Chris and Chef were playing cards. “Fire, huh? Don't you think that's a bit much? Ow!” Chris said as Chef kicked him from under the desk.

“Shut it and play!” Chef angrily said.

Confessional: Chef

“Seriously! I'm just not in the mood! Busting my hump for a stupid arrogant snot-nosed little-- Don't I deserve a little me time?!” Chef complained.

“Really, it might be time to end the challenge. The water's getting pretty high. And uh, those kids are terrible swimmers.” Chris said.

“Focus! I want my chips back. I'm starving.” Chef said as he ate some chips.

“This is getting serious. Turn off the water!” Chris said.

“If you want me to.” Chef said and broke the lever.

“We've gotta get the cast out of there! Simple formula! No more contestants equals no more episodes equals no paycheck and the end of my luxurious lifestyle!” Chris gasped.

“Texas Hold 'Em?” Chef asked.

“You're not hearing me!” Chris angrily said.

“What? Gin Rummy?” Chef asked.

Cut to the Gaffers submarine. “T-This could be it. The end. Like, the end end. A-And I wanna live!” Leshawna said.

“I know you're scared. But you don't have to cry. I'll save you.” Harold said.

“Who said anything about crying? Leshawna never cries! I’ve never cried, not even as a baby!” Leshawna said.

“Really? Is that even possible?” Tyler asked.

“You sure blubbered enough when a reward was on the line!” Duncan said.

(Flashback) “So, who's the lucky stiff?” Chris asked as everyone but Leshawna started arguing when suddenly Leshawna started crying.

“I'm sorry, it's just... it's been so stressful. I thought I was gonna lose you. Fighting for your lives. It's just all been too much.” Leshawna cried.

“Wow. You actually do have a heart.” Heather said.

“And Leshawna did solve the challenge. I nominate her to win the award. All in favor?” Duncan asked.

“Aye!” Heather, DJ, Harold and Tyler replied.

“You're a total sham!” Duncan angrily said.

“You mean, Leshawna fake cried to get the reward with Leshaniqua?” Heather angrily said.

“I can’t believe this! We trusted you!” Tyler angrily said.

“Hey, wait a second. Let's not forget who's always there listening to everyone's problems. Besides, that’s kind of a weak argument.” Harold defended.

“No, they’re right. I’m sorry sugar baby.” Leshawna sighed.

“You're gonna pay for this, Big Loud and Proud!” Heather said as she tried to slap Leshawna but was stopped by Harold.

“Wait! I just remembered something! Quick! Help me make a snorkel!” Harold said as he pulled out some straws and gave them to Leshawna while he dove underwater as Leshawna made a snorkel with them.

“Brilliant! Harold's gonna save the day! Once the hatch is open, it'll drain the water out of both the rooms! And I'll still have a paycheck!” Chris said from the security room as he hugged Chef while he glared at him.

A montage of the campers and Chris looking scared as Harold tried to open the hatch played using the Mission Impossible theme.

“Come on, Harold! C'mon, there's not much time left!” Heather said as the water covered the entire submarine. However, Harold managed to open the hatch and waved to his team as they followed him and swam out the hatch.

Cut to Chris and Chef in the security room. “Woo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! Mm! Mm!” Chris cheered as he hugged Chef again.

Cut to the Grips submarine. “Phew. This'll make escaping from underwater way easier.” Lindsay said as all the water was drained out.

“I think the other team won already.” Noah said.

“Seriously? Bummer.” Lindsay sighed.

“Argh! That is it!” Eva threw a tantrum as she threw Lindsay and multiple things around in the submarine.

“Calm down!” Noah yelled as Eva continued throwing a tantrum.

“Worst challenge ever!” Izzy yelled.

Cut to the teams sitting on two different desks covered in towels as they glared at Chris. “Well, that was a pretty exciting day, huh? Looks like another reward win for the Gaffers. Seems like the Grips are a tad overdue. But... I wouldn't hold my... breath. And now let's see what the Gaffers have won. Ohh… An all-expenses paid trip to beautiful British Columbia! That's right. You'll be staying at the luxurious inn upon the volcano! A charming lodge teetering on the edge of a little known active volcano on Vancouver Island. To get you there… You'll be enjoying an exhilarating eight-day hike up the craggy, treacherous–” Chris began explaining while a gif of Chef climbing a mountain played but was suddenly interrupted.

“No, thank you!” Duncan angrily said.

Confessional: Duncan

“I can't believe we were actually gonna drown. Did the producers lose their minds?! But, it would've been a pretty cool way to go, on national TV and all.” Duncan thought.

Confessional: Tyler

“Man, I thought I was a goner! Thankfully Harold saved all our lives, or else I would have died before ever making a career as a professional athlete!” Tyler said.

Confessional: Harold

“I had it all under control. I work best under pressure. Pressure? Get it? Water pressure? I'm hilarious. Even when my life is in danger.” Harold chuckled.

“We'll just take some chips and pop, if that's okay.” Leshawna told Chris.

“Suit yourselves. More money for my end-of-the-year bonus.” Chris said and left.

Confessional: Heather

“That's what they call a prize? Right. All we need after today is a disastrous themed vacay.” Heather scoffed.

Chef brought the Gaffers a bunch of food while they happily ate it as the Grips looked upset. Meanwhile, Chris brought Owen whose jaw was wired on a wheelchair.

“Okay, here's the deal. You can go and eat with the Gaffers... if you promise not to sue.” Chris told Owen.

“Promise.” Owen said through his teeth.

“Promise promise? Not like, fake promise? Your fingers aren't crossed, are they? Enjoy.” Chris asked as Owen showed his fingers while Chef brought him soda, chips and a blender. “Well, that magical bit of legal maneuvering brings us to the end of another awesome episode. What disaster lies in store for our teams next time? I'm your host, Chris McLean, asking you to tune in, turn on, and find out right here on Total. Drama. Action!” he told the audience.

“Hey! You dropped your chips in my pop! Hey! You spilled your pop in my chips!” Owen laughed as he dropped chips and pop into a blender, blended them and then drank it.

“It's probably the pain meds.” Chris shrugged as the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Owen’s Confessional

Confessional: Owen

“When I first got my jaw wired shut, I was really stressed out. But then I discovered the power of the blender. Whoo, boy! I thought pop and chips were good on their own. Who knew how great they'd be together?! I would buy a restaurant that serves only blended meals! We'll call them blendees! Five courses in one cup! Ow!” Owen said as he made another pop and chips blendie and ended up accidentally hurting his jaw.

Chapter Text

“Last week on Total Drama Action,” Chris began the recap. “Our competitors took it on the chin as they faced an all-you-can-eat buffet of deadly natural disasters. But it was Owen's own feet that tripped him up. Ouch! Owen's broken jaw means he can't eat anything 'til it's met the business end of a blender. Yep, it's a rough life for Owen. But, the "Your Own Worst Enemy" award clearly goes to Leshawna.” he continued.

(Flashback) “You're a total sham!” Duncan angrily said.

“Better call the fire department, because liar, liar, Leshawna's pants were seriously on fire. Luckily we had a submarine tank simulator full of water to douse the blaze in a waterlogged event that had all our competitors gasping for air. Sound tough? Get used to it! Because this week, it's all out war! It's a desperate battle for survival on Total. Drama. Action!” Chris ended the recap.

(Theme song

The episode began with the Gaffers running into the toilets when Leshawna managed to reach it first. “Only one toilet is working today?” Tyler asked as he saw that only one stall was not covered in tape.

“This crazy bargain basement show doesn't even have a plunger?” Heather complained.

“And I had to be crazy myself to give up this primo spot. Crazy with niceness! Duncan, honey, you take it.” Leshawna offered.

“Tst. Nice try, but you lied to us. And I never mess with liars.” Duncan said.

“Ugh. Or with mouthwash. I got one word for you, stank breath. Wintermint. Harold, baby. Would you like my spot?” Leshawna offered.

“Heck yeah.” Harold replied.

“Figures. Taking a bribe.” Duncan said.

“I don't do bribes.” Harold denied.

“Then what's with letting Leshawna suck up to you? As far as I'm concerned, she's off the team.” Duncan replied as Heather nodded while Tyler looked unsure.

“Except that the team needs her. Thanks for giving me your spot, Leshawna, my valued, if somewhat untrustworthy, teammate. Owen! What are you doing?” Harold said as he opened the toilet door and saw Owen trying to poop.

“It's not about what I'm doing, it's about what I'm not doing.” Owen replied.

“Pipes a little backed up?” Harold asked.

“Who knew a diet of blended corn beef and cheese puff shakes could stop my whole system?” Owen chuckled.

“You do realize that making shakes with hard stuff can clog up your system, right?” Harold said.

“Nerd.” Duncan said to himself and rolled his eyes.

“C'mon, c'mon! Just a nugget!” Owen said as he tried to poop.

“Make way, coming through!” Chef said as he came with a smoothie.

“Chef, a little privacy? I'm trying to poop-a-doop here.” Owen said.

“Doctors orders, I've got the cure for your no-can-doo-doo right here. A medicine smoothie.” Chef said as he offered the shake to him.

“That isn't even food-esque!” Owen denied.

“Don't push, kid. They're making me serve you on account of my bad behavior.” Chef said.

“Give it here. I've been starving half to death since DJ left!” Leshawna said as she drank the smoothie.

“Uh, that’s for sick people only.” Chef said.

“My, my! Who knew medicine could be so tasty?” Leshawna said as she drank the entire bottle.

“I'd say that my work here is done, but I never even got started.” Owen said and left.

Cut to everyone at a war field. “Today, we're all about war movies, so... look lively, you…” Chris begun.

“Buckets of horse doo-doo!” Chef insulted.

“So, get ready for the first death-defying challenge, you…” Chris continued.

“Disgusting, slimy crustaceans!” Chef insulted.

“Move it, privates! Fall in!” Chris commanded.

“Sir, yes, sir!” Everyone replied.

Confessional: Duncan

“I've always wanted to be a Marine. They're rough, tough, they wear rad boots, and they say "Hoo-ah!" No clue what that means, but it just sounds so cool. Hoo-ah!” Duncan said.

“I'm so pumped! My squad in Battlefront has won ten online multiplayer gaming titles. The secret to our success? Teamwork.” Harold boasted.

“Wow, I couldn’t even win three!” Tyler said.

“This is the real world, virtual losers. You wanna win? Sit back and let me get my Marine on. I'm the main course, the rest of you are gravy. As in, on the side.” Duncan said.

“You won't be saying that when I bust out my deadly numb-yo. No longer must we live in fear of ninja attacks. Not when I'm carrying this bad boy. I will defeat all enemies. And smite them with dishonor. Hi-yah!” Harold said as he pulled out a yo-yo and started swinging it.  Duncan rolled his eyes and gave a stick to Harold, causing him to hit himself in the kiwis. “Aw! My nether regions!” he whined.

“Harold just took a numb-yo in the numb-yos! What a loser!” Duncan laughed alongside Heather while Leshawna and Tyler gave him disapproving looks.

“Not funny, Duncan. Ahh!” Harold said in pain as he laid on the ground.

Confessional: Leshawna

“I swear, one day I’m going to slap that delinquent silly.” Leshawna said.

Cut to everyone in an airplane. “Okay, people! Remove your blindfolds! When it comes to making a war movie, jumping out of an airplane is the most dangerous stunt there is. So naturally, it's our first challenge!” Chris said as everyone took off their blindfolds and gasped.

“If we live, I was thinking I should totally be our team's admiral!” Lindsay said.

“Admirals are in charge of sailors! Generals are in charge of soldiers, generally!” Beth replied.

“But admiral sounds cuter! So now I'd like to be called "Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness", okay?” Lindsay replied.

Confessional: Noah

“"Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness"? Could that be any more on the nose?” Noah rolled his eyes.

“Yes Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness, ma’am!” Beth saluted.

“I think you’d be a-” Tyler tried to say but was elbowed in the gut by Duncan.

“No talking to the enemy doofus.” Duncan said.

Confessional: Tyler

“Since when does Duncan choose who I can talk to or can’t talk to?” Tyler asked.

“Beth, Lindsay! I want to propose something, but don't get excited, it's not marriage!” Justin winked but they didn’t look impressed. “Uh, anywho, it's a long way from the airplane to the ground below!” he continued.

“Three kilometers, to be exact!” Beth said.

“Wouldn't know, math is for ugly people. You know, Noah.” Justin said which upset Beth. “Here's the deal! I need you two to jump before me in case I need a soft place to land, okay?! Now, you girls know that I don't blink these eyelashes at just anybody! Nothing?! When were your last eye exams?!” Justin said as he blinked at them but they still looked unimpressed.

“Drop zone approaching! Form a line, it's time to partay! Stunt people undergo weeks of training before they parachute! Luckily, we're gonna skip all that and get to the good part! Jumping!” Chris explained.

“Are you sure that's a good idea?!” Harold asked.

“What's the worst that could happen?!” Chris asked.

“We die!” Owen yelled.

“I know! Hilarious! Ha ha! Time to jump!” Chris said.

“There's only one way out this big ol' silver bird! And it's through that door! Let's dance! C'mon, it's not that scary.” Izzy grunted as she tried to push Owen off the plane but couldn’t due to his weight.

“Hello? Crazy girl's pushing me off an airplane, and I don't have a parachute lesson yet.” Owen yelled.

Confessional: Izzy

“I didn’t get why he was so scared, I jumped off multiple planes in wars and I’m fine! Well, if you ignore the multiple scars.” Izzy chuckled.

“That's okay! I just spoke to our research department! There were no parachutes in World War I!” Chris said.

“So, what do we do for a challenge?” Heather asked.

“Simple!” Chris said as he threw the parachutes off the plane which made everyone gasp.

“Whoo! Tell my pet rock I love her!” Izzy yelled as she jumped.

“You're next, Private No-Can-Poop!” Chris told Owen.

“For the love of everything deep-fried, don't ask me to do this!” Owen yelled.

“You won't do it for me, maybe you'll do it for a corn-beef blendee! Fetch, boy!” Chris said as he threw a shake out of the plane.

“Don’t do it Owen!” Eva yelled.

“Blendie! Come to papa!” Owen yelled as he jumped off the plane to get it. This made the plane turn and cause all the remaining campers to fall off. However, it was revealed that it was actually a fake plane and they fell into a cushion a few inches below.

“We're alive! Whoo-hoo! Oh! It's good to be alive!” Owen yelled.

“Big-O! You’re crushing me!” Izzy yelled under Owen.

“Oops. Sorry Iz.” Owen said as he got off her.

“Finally, someone who wasn’t me got crushed.” Noah sighed in relief when suddenly a giant airplane piece fell on him, crushing him. “Spoke too soon…” he mumbled.

“Let's roll, soldiers! Because the second part of this challenge is gonna blow your minds! And everything else within a fifty foot radius!” Chris told them.

Cut to a war field divided in two halves with two paint bombs on each side. “Are those... paint bombs?” Lindsay asked.

“We've divided the camp into two halves. Most creative and controlled splatter wins.” Chris said.

“Talk about a challenge custom-made for me! I'm all over this!” Duncan boasted.

“Might I suggest you consult your friendly neighborhood chem expert? Because what is an explosion other than the chemical reaction of trinitrotoluene decomposing at C7H5N3O6, 3N2 plus 5H2O plus 7CO?” Harold explained.

“Uh… excuse me?” Tyler said, confused.

“Try speaking in English!” Heather angrily said.

“I think we might have to stick with Duncan, honey.” Leshawna told Duncan.

“Why?” Harold asked.

“Vandal boy beats big chem nerd. It's a simple equation.” Heather said as they all walked away.

Confessional: Harold

“Making explosions isn’t something you just brute force through. You need to know every little detail to make sure it doesn’t mess up. They’ll regret picking Duncan over me, I’ll show them!” Harold said.

Cut to the Grips on top of a hill when suddenly Lindsay came in an admiral uniform. “Okay, minions! Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness is about to tell you how this is going to work. How is this going to work?” Lindsay asked Beth.

“What we need to do is lay the explosives in a wide, interlocking pattern to ensure maximum paint coverage!” Beth replied.

“What an excellent plan Deputy Beth! Okay, snap to it, please!” Lindsay said.

“I know how to destroy stuff like explosions but I’m not sure about building them. Anyone have any ideas on how to build this?” Eva asked.

“I'm way too weak to even think about working.” Owen said while laying on the ground.

“Yeah, what he said.” Noah said as he laid next to him.

“Get to work! Now!” Lindsay angrily told Noah.

“What about him?” Noah said as he pointed at Justin.

“And my butt needs its beauty rest, uh-huh. Ooh!” Justin said as he laid on a hammock when suddenly Lindsay and Beth turned it, causing him to fall.

“Admiral Lindsay decrees that you will get up and work on this challenge! All of you should stop slacking off!” Lindsay angrily said while Noah and Owen sighed in annoyance.

“Is it getting hot out here? Now if you'll notice, I don't sport a six-pack. I got twelve. That's a dozen smokin' mandominals.” Justin said as he showed them his abs.

“Get to work, lazybones.” Beth said and left.

“This, this can't be right... Have I really lost my lady controlling mojo? Say it ain't so!” Justin gasped.

“It's so, Justin. You’re hot but you get used to that after a while, and your personality is lacking.” Lindsay said as she left with Beth.

“Hah, what’s wrong? Looks ran out?” Noah laughed.

“Shut up! They don’t like your lazy butt either!” Justin angrily said.

“Well, at least I don’t need two idiots finding me hot to succeed.” Noah said.

Confessional: Justin

“Noah thinks he’s so cool, but he won’t be laughing when I convince Lindsay and Beth to target him to get him voted out!” Justin said.

“Time's up!” Chris said as he approached the Grips.

“Oh come on!” Eva complained. 

“Uh-oh, looks like you didn't even get started.” Chris said after seeing that they haven’t started building.

“Not so fast, señor Chris.” Izzy suddenly said with a Hispanic accent, making Chris see her standing in front of some bombs.

“Whoa. Now that's what I call thorough.” Chris said.

“Izzy... what did you do?” Owen asked.

“I didn't do it, Big O. It was my friend, Explosivo. Explosivo is loco for boom-boom” Izzy laughed as Owen looked scared.

Cut to the Gaffers in front of their paint bomb. “Gaffers, are we ready?” Chris asked.

“Time for a little punk rock!” Duncan said as he blew the bomb up, making a giant skull shape.

“And who says vandalism doesn't pay?” Chris said.

“Much as it pains me to say so, you did good, Duncan.” Harold told Duncan

“Yeah, no kidding. This is my world you're living in, dork boy.” Duncan mocked as he poked Harold’s chest.

“Grr…” Harold growled as Duncan left.

Cut to the Gaffers in front of their paint bomb. “Are we ready to blow it up?!” 

“Sí, sí. Explosivo is ready. Unos, dos, boom-boom!” Izzy said with a Hispanic accent as she pulled the trigger but nothing happened.

“Well, folks, looks like we're having some technical diff–” Chris said as he was suddenly interrupted by a giant paint bomb blowing up which ended up covering the Grips and Chris.

“Explosivo is one crazy hombre, ah?” Izzy said and laughed.

“Explosive? Yes. Creative and controlled? Not so much!” Chris said.

Confessional: Izzy

“Señor Chris should watch what he says, Explosivo doesn’t tolerate any disrespect to his work. Perhaps he might find a surprise waiting for him under his bed in the night…” Izzy said as she laughed.

Cut to the middle of the field. “The Gaffers are victorious!” Chris announced as the Gaffers cheered. “It is my honor to present your prize. The big trunk of mind-blowing secrets! You'll be defending it with your very lives when we return to more... Total. Drama. Action!” he said as he gave them a chest.

Cut to Leshawna fanning Owen while he laid on a tree next to Noah. “Oh, poor baby, you don't look so good.” Leshawna said.

“Gee, you think? I don’t think a broken jaw is pleasant.” Noah said.

“I got what you need right here, Owen. A tasty medicine smoothie for your sorry bunga behind.” Chef said as he came with a smoothie.

“No medicine smoothie. I need bacon cheese blendee.” Owen said.

“Uh, last time I checked, it's bacon blendees that got you here! Drink!” Chef angrily said.

“I'll take it, Chef.” Leshawna said as she took it from Chef and drank it, making her stomach rumble.

“That sounds a little like the time I ate ninety-two chili dogs on a dare. It wasn't pretty.” Owen said.

“I don’t think taking medicine that you’re not supposed to is a good idea.” Noah said.

Cut to the field. “Contestants, get ready to begin your next war challenge. It's a giant game of Capture the Flag! Except in this case, the flag is the Trunk of Mind-Blowing Secrets! There's only one way to learn what's in the trunk, and that's to win the challenge. As your reward, we'll give you immunity from tonight's vote. And... a peek inside, but be ready. The secrets inside will blow your brain to bits!” Chris explained.

“I need my brain.” Harold said.

“Not to worry. A roll of tape will be provided so you can tape the grey matter back together.” Chris said.

“Here. Be sure not to waste.”  Chef said as he gave Harold some tape.

Confessional: Harold

“Tape is much more useful than people usually think. I mean, what else can you use to combine stuff together? Well, aside from glue but the chemicals from that can be harmful.” Harold explained. 

Cut to the Gaffers under a hill. “Gaffers, this is your base camp. Our set decoration team wanted to build you guys a towering castle full of defensive possibilities. But they went to see a movie instead, so... we're gonna give you this! I think it's a tool shed.” Chris explained as he pointed at a tool shed that collapsed. “Was a tool shed. Good luck!” he continued and left.

“How are we gonna defend this big ol' trunk of secrets with no fort?” Leshawna asked.

“We'll put our heads together and come up with a group plan.” Harold said.

“You do whatever you want. I'm gonna go set some booby traps.” Duncan said and left.

Confessional: Harold

“He said "booby".” Harold chuckled.

“In first World War movies, they always have underground hiding places. Foxholes.” Harold said as he gave Leshawna, Heather and Tyler some shovels.

“If I'm digging, we're gonna have to call it a foxy-hole.” Leshawna said as the three started digging.

“Duncan, the rest of us agreed on an actual plan. If you wouldn't mind, we could use a little help.” Harold angrily told Duncan who was doing something else.

“If you wouldn't mind, I could use a little you shutting your useless pie hole! I'm busy!” Duncan angrily replied.

Confessional: Harold

“I have had it with Duncan. I've been giving my all since day one. Then Mister Too-Cool-To-Care suddenly wakes up and everyone falls all over him? He might be standing tall after that first challenge, but the taller the mohawk, the harder it falls.” Harold said.

Cut to the Grips on top of the hill. “Admiral, what's going on?” Beth asked Lindsay.

“Well, Duncan sorta like, disappeared. And the rest of them are digging a hole for some weird reason.” Lindsay said as she looked at the Gaffers with binoculars.

“I recommend we attack immediately.” Eva said.

“Team, Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness says it's time we attack!” Lindsay announced.

“First, Admiral Lindsay. A suggestion from, um, Explosivo. He says we make a Trojan taco.” Izzy said.

“Ooh, I love Mexican food!” Lindsay said.

“Okay, first, we make a giant taco shell. Five kilometers wide. Then, we load it with beef, beans, cheese…” Izzy began explaining.

“And jalapenos? I like it spicy.” Lindsay suggested.

“Sí. Muy muy caliente! But the salsa, my friends. The salsa we make... from TNT! We bring the Trojan taco to their camp, they take a tasty bite, and then... boom-boom!” Izzy said and laughed which weirded out everyone.

“People, Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness decrees that although Mexican food is very tasty, we will not be making the Trojan taco.” Lindsay announced.

“Your loss.” Izzy shrugged.

“Attack! Remember?” Beth whispered to Lindsay.

“We are going to attack so... let's go down there and fight!” Lindsay announced.

“Aww…” Owen sighed.

“Seriously?” Noah sighed.

“Aw, man.” Justin sighed.

“Now, listen, peeps. I know you're frightened of going into battle, but I'm here to say, "Be strong! Be fierce! Be ferocious!" Go and fight for that trunk like it's Boxing Day and you're fighting for the cutest pair of yoga pants! Show. No. Mercy!” Lindsay yelled.

“Yeah!” Owen, Beth, Noah, Justin, Eva and Izzy yelled as they ran down the hill.

“I'll be here when you're done!” Lindsay said, still sitting on her chair.

Cut to the Grips arriving at the bottom of the hill. “Where are they? I just saw them.” Beth said, seeing that the Gaffers were not there.

“They must be in a hole somewhere! Keep searching.” Eva said as they all began searching.

Meanwhile, the Gaffers were underground. “Nice work Harold! The Grips will never find us here!” Tyler said.

“Indeed, my friend. However we should still be cautious, any noise can alert them to our location.” Harold warned.

“Your yapping is probably already doing that.” Heather said as she rolled her eyes.

“Ugh, I feel sick.” Leshawna said as she laid on the ground.

“Yeah, drinking all that medicine was probably not a good idea.” Harold said.

“Leshawna, you are not hurling in here! Not only will it be disgrossting, the sound will give us away.” Heather angrily told Leshawna.

“But, I feel like I’m gonna puke out my stomach!” Leshawna said.

“What, you want me to sing a lullaby to you? Hush little Leshawna, don't you cry, If you do, we'll surely die!” Heather angrily sang.

“Harold, baby, I'm sorry for lying. It was wrong, can you forgive me?” Leshawna asked Harold.

“Well, if we get out here alive I will.” Harold said.

“Don’t worry guys, I think they’re gone.” Tyler said as he went to look at the top of the hole.

“Tyler, no!” Harold said as Tyler opened the grass covering the hole and ended up seeing the Grips.

“There they are!” Justin angrily said.

“Uh… meow?” Tyler said and quickly went back in.

“Attack!” Eva yelled as they ran toward the hole but were suddenly caught by a trap. Duncan swang down with a vine while yelling and cut the trap, launching them away into the top of the hill where they landed on top of Lindsay who was napping in her chair, crushing her.

“Ay ay ay ay ay…” Izzy groaned.

“There's, there's... there's a scratch. My face can't continue to take all this abuse! I'm losing it! You, you gotta let me go on leave, Admiral Lindsay!” Justin told Lindsay as he looked at his face.

“Wow. Seriously?” Eva rolled her eyes.

“Are you buying this?” Lindsay asked Beth.

“Nope.” Beth replied.

“Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness says to drop the crazy act, okay?” Lindsay said as she got out from under the pile and walked away with Beth.

“Hah, what’s wrong pretty boy? Not hot anymore?” Noah mocked and left.

“Stop being such a bum.” Eva said and left.

“Izzy, you're sort of female, right? Can you help? I mean, I had Beth and Lindsay wrapped around my finger, and now I'm getting zero play. Heh. What's the deal?” Justin asked Izzy.

“Honestly, I never really got it. I don't think you're so cute.” Izzy replied.

“Like I care what you think.” Justin said and left.

Confessional: Justin

“Me? Not cute? Heh heh, I'll tell you who's not cute. Blind, crazy people named Izzy! Or rage-O-holic’s named Eva, or skinny asshole bookworms named Noah!” Justin angrily said.

“You think I'm cute, right?” Owen asked Izzy.

“'Course. You're super cute.” Izzy replied.

“That's great, Iz. Because even though I'm weak and torn down, I still really like you.” Owen said.

“That's nice, Big O. But Explosivo? Explosivo loves just two things. The first is boom. The second is boom. Put them together and what do you get?” Izzy asked.

“Boom... boom?” Owen asked in a scared voice.

“Olé!” Izzy laughed.

“Well, that was a total bust.” Eva said as she and Noah came to talk with Owen and Izzy.

“Not really. Let’s say Explosivo ended up throwing a tiny smoke bomb in there.” Izzy lauged.

“Wait, what?” Noah said in shock.

“Yes! Good job.” Eva said.

“That’s my Izzy!” Owen chuckled.

Cut to Duncan entering the hole where the rest of the Gaffers were in only to find it was covered in smoke. “What's going on in here?” Duncan asked.

“I'm trying to breathe is all.” Heather replied.

“Ugh, one of the Grips threw a smoke bomb and now the entire hole is covered in gas.” Tyler said.

“Ugh! I hate these stupid challenges!” Heather said as she stormed off.

“I can barely smell anything!” Duncan said.

“It’s been like that for some time.” Tyler said.

“I'm so sorry. I feel like I really let the team down.” Leshawna said while sitting on the ground.

“You think? Harold, what have you been doing all this time?” Duncan asked Harold.

“Trying to keep the team together, no thanks to you. Or the smoke bomb which someone from the Grips threw.” Harold said.

“Ugh, you can't do anything right! You're an idiot!” Duncan angrily said.

“At least I'm here. At least I'm trying. What kind of lousy Marine leaves his squad all alone?” Harold replied.

“Shut it Doris, we don’t have time for this. You just stay out of my way.” Duncan said.

“Why do you keep bullying me? You began it since the very first day we made and only worsened it over time. Do you think you can just use someone as your personal punching bag and get away with it?” Harold angrily said.

“That’s how the world is loser, pathetic dorks like you get stepped on by people who can actually manage to do stuff. Besides, you’re lucky I didn’t amplify it up to 11 after what you did last season. Now, we gotta get out of here.” Duncan angrily said.

“I never said I was proud about that! I was wrong and did a petty thing but that doesn’t give you a right to treat me like dirt when we’re supposed to be teammates. Say we’re a team, or we’re both going to be stuck here.” Harold said as he stopped Duncan from leaving.

“Who cares when we're gonna die of oxygen deprivation?” Duncan angrily said.

“And say you value my contributions. This is about the time where it’s gonna get way worse, I’m having a less easier time breathing every second.” Harold said.

“All right, fine. You're not a complete loser, okay? I value the small portion of you that isn't a loser. Can we go now?” Duncan said.

“Anything you want, teamie.” Harold replied.

Cut to Harold and Duncan getting out of the hole with the chest when they suddenly saw all the Grips surrounding them.

“You fought hard, but it’s the end for you now.” Lindsay said.

“Did you like Explosivo’s present?” Izzy mocked.

“Any last words before we beat you to a pulp?” Eva asked.

“Seven of them, two of us. Don't like these odds.” Duncan told Harold.

“Well, we do have a secret weapon.” Harold replied as he pulled out his numb-yo.

“The numb-yo? We're dead meat!” Duncan said.

“I respect your strength, but I will defeat you!” Harold said when suddenly Duncan spun Harold to make him twirl. He attacked all the Grips like a tornado and knocked them all down.

“What can I say, you did good! You did real good!” Duncan told Harold.

“The team did good.” Harold replied.

“Did you beat them?” Tyler asked as he and Heather got out of the hole.

“Yup.” Harold said as he pointed at the Grips laying on the ground, beaten up.

“Wow. That’s actually impressive.” Heather said.

“Time's up! The Gaffers have defended the chest, putting them in the winner's circle. That means the Grips will be sending home one of their own tonight. And now, it's time to reveal to the winners... the mind-blowing secrets within this trunk! Here's what you were fighting for, team.” Chris announced as the Gaffers opened the chest and saw that it was empty.

“All this sadness!” Duncan yelled.

“All this gas!” Tyler yelled.

“All this torture!” Heather yelled.

“All these tears!” Harold yelled.

“Dude, no tears. That was just our eyes watering off the smoke bombs!” Duncan said.

“Still. All this hatred, for what?” Harold asked.

“An empty trunk!” Duncan yelled.

“The madness of war!” Harold yelled.

“All this inhumanity!” Tyler yelled.

“Was it really all for nothing?” Heather yelled.

“Why?!” Harold, Duncan, Tyler, Heather and Harold yelled into the air.

Cut to the award ceremony. “This one's a nail biter.” Chris began the ceremony.

“I'd say no one's safe tonight. Dumb Blonde. How do you feel about your chances?” Chef called out Lindsay.

“Let's face it, Cook. It was my lousy Admiraling that cost us the challenge. If I go home tonight, I won't blame anyone. Except Noah.” Lindsay said.

“Why me?!” Noah asked.

“I have to blame someone.” Lindsay replied.

“Well, at least you know it. Then... there's Crazy Girl. You overdid it on the first challenge and cost your team an important victory. And your smoke bomb thing failed. Will it be your crazy bum sitting in the Lame-O-Sine tonight for the second time?” Chef called out Izzy.

“Explosivo does not answer most questions, Cheffy.” Izzy replied.

“Hot Boy. Nerd Girl and Dumb Blonde seem to have kinda left your corner, pretty boy. Are you worried?” Chef called out Justin.

“I never worry. Causes wrinklage.” Justin replied.

“All right then. Votes have been tabulated. So, it's time to present the awards. Tonight, the Gilded Chris goes to…” Chris said as he began throwing the awards.

“Beth.” he said as he threw her a reward.

“Owen.” he said as he threw him a reward.

“Eva.” he said as he threw her a reward.

“Noah.” he said as he threw him a reward.

“Lindsay. And now, only two nominees left.” he said as he threw Lindsay a reward. Both Izzy and Justin looked worried. The final award goes to…

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Justin.” he said as he tossed Justin a reward.

“¿Por qué?” Izzy asked.

“I'll miss you, Iz.” Owen said and tried to kiss Izzy but she was pulled by an intern before he could.

“You’ll get that kiss next time, big guy.” Noah said as he patted Owen on the back.

Confessional: Justin

“I'm not saying I voted for Izzy over Noah just because she said I'm not cute. Okay, it was just because of that. Thing is, Beth and Lindsay told me they were sending me home. So you see? I didn't lose my mojo. I just needed to shake things up. Heh. With my new patented, all-time lady-killing mega flip. I'm back, baby.” Justin said as he flipped his hair.

Cut to the Lame-O-Sine where the interns threw Izzy into the Lame-O-Sine. “Argh! Explosivo will get his revenge! You’ll all regre-” Izzy yelled as the Lame-O-Sine drove out of sight.

“Well, we finally got rid of Little Miss Weird and Weirder. Again. For the last time. Hopefully. Catch you next time on Total. Drama. Action! At ease.” Chris ended the episode.

VOTES

Confessional: Lindsay

“Izzy. She did mess up the first part and suggested a weird explosive taco?” Lindsay said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Justin

“Not cute my ass.” Justin said as he chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Beth

“I thought Justin lost his charm but that hair flip… Izzy did lose us the challenge anyway.” Beth said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Noah

“Justin. I’m mostly gonna vote for him all the time anyway.” Noah said as he chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

Confessional: Owen

“I guess Justin. Noah really doesn’t like him.” Owen said as he chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

Confessional: Eva

“Izzy cost us. Again!” Eva said as she chose to eliminate Izzy on the device.

Confessional: Izzy

“Bye bye Justin! Explosivo is going to blow you out of this competition!” Izzy said as she chose to eliminate Justin on the device.

BONUS CLIP

Izzy’s Second Lame-O-Sine Ride

“Yeah, getting voted off feels like it happened weeks ago. I guess 'cause it did happen weeks ago. Heh heh. But I know my team loves me. I know it was Justin who got me voted off. But I don't blame him. If Big-O or any of Team E-Scope voted against me, I'm not even mad at them. But Explosivo? He is one crazy, vengeful hombre! So Big-O, I'd check your sleeping bag before you get in it tonight. I think Explosivo might've left you a little something to remember him by. A little something that goes boom-boom!” Izzy said and laughed.

Chapter Text

(TDA Aftermath intro)

(Flashback) Cut to the Lame-O-Sine where the interns threw Izzy into the Lame-O-Sine. “Ugh! This was just a dress rehearsal, my darlings! Ha ha. Mwah! Mwah! You'll see my star on the Walk of Fame. Mark my words. Mark them!” Izzy yelled as she left.

(Flashback) Cut to Chef walking Gwen to the Lame-O-Sine while she wore handcuffs. “Dead girl walking!” Chef yelled.

(Flashback) “Stop! I'm gonna do what I should've done long ago! Make mama proud. I'm voting myself off!” DJ interrupted as he came on the stage with the other Gaffers.

(Flashback) “¿Por qué?” Izzy asked.

(Theme song)

Cut to Geoff and Bridgette on a stage sitting on a couch and Courtney, Ezekiel, Trent, Izzy, Cody, Katie and Sadie were sitting next to them on another while there was a big audience watching them. “Yo, everyone! Ha ha. I'm Geoff.” Geoff said.

“And I'm Bridgette. Great to have you back for another super juicy episode of The Aftermath, where we'll be dishing the dirt on Total. Drama. Action!” Bridgette said as the audience cheered. “Wow, there's a lot of love out there, eh, Geoff?” she asked.

“No doubt, Bridge.” Geoff replied.

“I wish today could be all about the love, but there's always some haters, too.” Bridgette sighed.

“We may see some of those dudes on today's show. 'Cause we've got Gwen here! And DJ!” Geoff announced.

“We've also got our friends from the first season joining us here in the V.I.P section. Katie and Sadie, Cody, Ezekiel and Courtney!” Bridgette said as Sadie, Katie, Cody and Ezekiel waved to the camera while the audience cheered. “And we've got Trent and Izzy here too!” she continued while Geoff was dragged by an intern somewhere as the audience cheered again.

“Hi, Trent! We're so happy you're here!” Katie told Trent but was then slapped by Sadie.

“I won the thumb war to say hi from us.” Sadie angrily said.

“He's what? That is so not cool.” Bridgette said as she talked to someone on her earpiece “So, there have been three pretty shocking eliminations since we last saw you. Anything you would like to comment on, Courtney?” she asked.d

“My lawyer has advised me not to at this time.” Courtney replied.

“Wow. So we've also lost Izzy A.K.A E-Scope A.K.A. Explosivo again, but since she's already been a guest, she won't take the hot seat today.” Bridgette said, however Izzy had no reaction and just stood there. “So, some pretty insane things on the show. The prison movie, the hospital drama, haunted set.” she began explaining.

“The disaster movie and war flick.” Geoff continued as he came back and got on the couch while the audience cheered.

“Wow. Guess you guys are into terror and destruction. I was freaking. I was almost glad I was booted off the show. I would not have made it through prison food day. Mm-mm.” Bridgette said.

“Me? I've got a stomach of steel.” Geoff said as the audience laughed.

“Oh, you can't tell me you'd've wanted to go through what Owen did. A busted up jaw?! Ouch!” Bridgette winced.

“Oh, true that. But we've got loads more wicked bad moments of pain coming up! Rad hits like you've never seen! Time for... That's Gonna Leave a Mark!” Geoff said as the That's Gonna Leave a Mark! intro played while the audience cheered.

A clip of Harold was swinging his numb-yo played when suddenly Duncan gave him a stick, causing him to hit himself in the kiwis.

The clip of Owen being put in the hospital bus on a stretcher played when suddenly, the stretcher rolled out of the bus and crushed Noah, then rolled back and caused him to fall in a sewer drain.

The clip of Chef coming in the room to scare DJ, Heather, Tyler and Duncan played. Suddenly, the couch turned 360 degrees, causing Heather and Tyler to fall into a trapdoor with Duncan managed to held onto the couch.

A clip of Lindsay pulling out a body part from the grease pool in the doctor challenge played. Suddenly Izzy jumped in after her and ended up knocking both into the pool, causing them to be zapped.

The clip of Gwen hitting Harold with the clip played. Later, Gwen was walking through the prison set when Leshawna whistled to get her attention and threw a spoon at her, knocking her out. Harold, who was next to her when she collapsed, collapsed after this.

“You can't just leave me out here alone like that on live TV.” Bridgette whispered to Geoff.

“The make up people said my hair looked terrible, Bridge and dragged me to fix it. There were like, seven strands out of place. Looked like I'd never met a blow dryer!” Geoff said.

“It looked fine to me!” Bridgette replied.

“So uh, guys? That was one great montage of ouch!” Trent said.

“Uh, it sure was, Trent! Ha ha. Did you see Owen go down like a sack of honey glazed hams? Whoo! Check it.”  Geoff said as he played the clip of Owen being hit in the jaw and drew a circle on his mouth.

“Oh, his poor jaw is headed left and right at the same time.” Bridgette said.

“Hilarious! I'm pretty sure your leg is not supposed to go in that direction.” Geoff said as he drew a circle on Owen’s leg when he fell. “But here's my fave. Check out DJ fainting. Now that's what panic looks like, people!” he said as he played a clip of DJ collapsing and drew a circle on his face as the audience cheered.

“How about we check in on DJ and see how he's holding up.” Bridgette said as a clip of Gwen and DJ in the backstage played while Geoff was dragged backstage by an intern again.

“They're gonna skewer me out there, DJ! They're gonna make me into a Gwen-kabob!” Gwen told DJ.

“I'd tell you that it'll be okay, but I'm not gonna lie. My mama's here today and I promised I'd never fib again. So yeah, you're probably dead. Hi, mama!” DJ said as he waved at the screen while Momma came on stage on a chair and waved back.

“That thing's on? Hey, everyone. I'm Gwen, and I'm a nice person.” Gwen told the audience but they didn’t react.

“Before we bring out our first guest, let's take a look at his journey on the show. A touch up? You spent six hours in makeup, I took ten minutes!” Bridgette whispered to Geoff as he came back.

“They said my nose was shining. I needed powder.” Geoff replied.

“Why do they keep bringing you backstage anyway?” Bridgette scoffed.

“Anyway, DJ started out as a strong contender in this season.” Geoff said as clips of DJ started playing.

“With a soft spot.” Bridgette continued.

“Look at him sleeping!” Geoff continued.

“But when Chef secretly took him under his wing, making a deal to split the cool mil if they won...” Bridgette continued.

“Things got dicey for our man.” Geoff continued.

“Happily for the rest of the cast, DJ had a thing or two to teach Chef about cooking actual food.” Bridgette continued.

"But ultimately, DJ's conscience had something to teach him, too, leading to his dramatic exit.” Geoff continued as the audience cheered. “Our guest doesn't eat dolphin dogs, does a heck of a ribbon dance, and once thought he caught a pepperoni disease, welcome DJ!” he announced as DJ came on stage while everyone cheered and clapped, Momma even wiped a tear from her eye.

“Hey, everybody. What's up?” DJ asked as he high-fived Geoff, kissed Bridgette on the cheek and took a seat.

“So DJ, how are you feeling after everything?” Bridgette asked.

“What kind of a question is that?! Dude lost a million bucks.” Geoff replied.

DJ: Hey, but I have my integrity. And that's worth more.

“Oh, come on! That is total bull! Am I right, dudes?!” Geoff said but the audience had no reaction.

“Do we clap if we agree or disagree?” Katie asked.

“So true eh? That million is the coolest swag ever!” Ezekiel said as he clapped.

“Thank you, homeschool. Glad someone's keeping it real. The rest of you are full of it. Ha ha. And you know what we do to liars! That's right! It's Truth or Anvil!” Geoff said as the audience cheered while the Truth or Anvil intro played.

“Mama?” DJ whimpered as he saw an anvil above him being held by a rope while Momma gasped.

“Geoff, it's Truth or Hammer. What happened to the hammer?” Bridgette asked.

“The producers thought an anvil would add more drama. More Total Drama!” Geoff replied.

“That thing falls on me if I fib?” DJ asked.

“Yep. Just don’t lie and you’ll be fine dude, no worries.” Geoff said.

“Uh… sure?” DJ said in shock.

“So, DJ. First question.” Geoff began.

“Okay, I am not cool with this.” Bridgette said.

“That makes two of us. I already said I'm not lying.” DJ said.

“Then you have nothing to worry about! DJ, wouldn't you say the way you took advantage of your teammates was completely heinous and utterly unforgivable?” Geoff asked.

“I never meant to hurt anybody. Chef just intimidated the heck out of me!” DJ said as the audience gasped.

“This is ridiculous! Can't we run some footage or something instead?” Bridgette asked.

“No probs. How about some never-before-seen footage of DJ's fast moves behind the scenes? While everyone else smelled like a dog park in August, you were wearing spring fresh duds.” Geoff explained as a clip of DJ getting clothes played.

“Aw, thanks, Chef.” DJ said in the clip while getting clothes.

“Chef gave you performance enhancing vitamins and helpful dairy products while everyone else was forced to eat the rudest slop. You received therapeutic massages, packages from home, and beef jerky, and never once felt bad about it.” DJ explained as DJ doing the stuff he said played.

Confessional: DJ

“Do I like winning? Hecks yeah! I wanna do whatever it takes to keep racking up the wins! Do I feel bad? Hm. Do I look like I feel bad?” DJ said and laughed like an evil maniac as the audience gasped.

“Mm-mm-mm.” Momma said in disappointment.

“ W-Whoa, that's not fair! Don't you guys got another angle on that? Can't you show–” DJ tried to ask but was interrupted.

“We run the show here, man. That's how TV works. So, no can do.” Geoff replied when suddenly Momma threw a cabbage at him, knocking off his hat and messing up his hair as the audience laughed.

“My hair! Fine! Run the clip!” Geoff said but was hit by a tomato thrown by Momma. “Hey! I said okay!” Geoff yelled.

“Makeup?! 911 on touch up here!” An intern said off-screen.

Confessional: Chef & DJ

Chef was threatening DJ with a stick as he held a script. “Do I have to, Chef? Okay, okay! [reading] "Do I like winning? Hecks yeah." Um, Chef? Do I actually have to say "hecks"? 'Cause I don't really…” DJ tried to say but was interrupted.

“Just do it if you don’t want to be beaten to death!” Chef angrily said.

“Come on dude, this makes the drama more intense and the ratings higher. Just don’t lie and it’ll be fine! This is just for the show!” Geoff whispered to DJ.

“Sorry? You want me to be happy while an anvil is above my head to make your producers happy?” DJ asked.

“Dude, it’s no big deal, you won't be hurt. Just answer the questions to make stuff more interesting. So, Deej. Who'd you hate the most on the show?” Geoff asked.

“Hey, you guys know what we have? A great webcam question from one of DJ's loyal fans and viewers.” Bridgette interrupted.

“Fine, party pooper. Let's go to Gordon from London.” Geoff said as he called a red haired and freckled chef on the TV.

“Oi, mates.” Gordon said.

“'Ello, old chap!” Geoff replied with a bad British accent.

“I'm from London, Ontario and I wanna be a chef! I'm making DJ sandwiches, but there's some stupid (insert censor bleep) ingredient that I can't (insert censor bleep) figure out! (insert massive censor bleep)” Gordon said as the audience gasped.

“Huh? Guess Gordon's got a temper on him. Got an answer for him, bro?” Geoff asked.

“Is there a secret ingredient? We'd all like to know.” Bridgette asked 

“Well, Bridgette, that's a tough question, because... I don't use a recipe. And it isn't really…” DJ tried to say but whimpered when he saw the anvil as it suddenly fell while he jumped away to judge it while the audience gasped as he screamed. “Paprika! Okay? Two pinches of Hungarian paprika in the mayo! It zips the sandwich right up.” he confessed as the audience applauded.

“Mm! Fantastic!” Bridgette said as she took a sandwich and offered it to Geoff.

“Oh no, no way. I'm seeing Chris' professional trainer, and she said she'll kill me if I'm ever in the same room as carbs.” Geoff said.

“You sure you don't want one, Geoff?” DJ asked.

“I'm also seeing Justin's dermatologist. And he says mayo murders the pores.” Geoff replied.

“Maybe you need to lighten up.” Bridgette said.

“Yeah, no way. Do you think you get ratings by lightning? Now, I’m gonna get some water.” Geoff said and left.

“Um... maybe we'll take a short break. Sandwich, anyone?” DJ asked as he offered a sandwich to the camera while the screen went to black.

Cut back to the aftermath when the audience started cheering. “Hope y'all enjoyed the sandwiches!” DJ said.

“I’m still not gonna eat one.” Geoff said.

“And it's time to meet our second guest. But first, take a look.” Bridgette said as clips of Gwen started playing.

“Our second guest started out as a fan favorite.” Geoff said.

“Until things got... complicated. Like they do when you're competing against, or working with, your boyfriend.” Bridgette continued.

“Um, what's that supposed to mean?” Geoff asked.

“Just play along with it, Geoff.” Bridgette replied.

“So, uh, Gwen broke up with Trent. But that wasn't the last of the drama.” Geoff said.

“Gwen was forced to make a deal with the opposite team, trading Trent to save her butt.” Bridgette continued.

“And Trent was voted off.” Geoff continued.

“Down one boyfriend and several friends. Not long after that, Gwen followed.” Bridgette continued as the audience cheered.

“Our next guest is claustrophobic, owns two lizards, and once drank fruit punch out of the communal john.” Geoff said.

“Not to mention, dumped her boyfriend on national TV! Gwen!” Bridgette said as the audience cheered while Gwen looked at the stage.

“Heh. All the black nail polish in the world couldn't get me out there. Oh!” Gwen said behind the curtain.

“Get out there and speak!” Chef yelled as he shoved Gwen outside.

“Uh, hi, everyone!” Gwen said as he got on stage.

“Whoa, Gwen. It must be tough coming out to this.” Bridgette said.

“Way hard.” Gwen said.

“Well, just say the stuff that’ll get the most ratings and it won’t get harder. Here's an interview recorded after Trent learned of your deception on our last show.” Geoff said and played a clip of Katie and Sadie.

“At first, we mostly just felt sorry for Trent, but now…” Katie said.

“We love him! We're starting a Trent fan club.” Sadie said.

“Or maybe it should be an Anti-Gwen club!” Katie said.

“A club for my Auntie Gwen? Hi, Auntie Gwen!” Sadie said as the audience cheered.

“So, Katie and Sadie, got more you wanna say to Gwen in person?” Geoff asked.

“It's my turn, seat-hog Sadie!” Katie angrily told Sadie as she sat next to Trent.

“Uh, they look busy. So Gwen, let's talk about why you sold out Trent.” Bridgette said.

“Can't we talk about something else?” Gwen asked.

“Would love to. Truth is, I'm kinda over this Trent blah blah blah after last episode.” Geoff replied.

“Great! What about some behind-the-scenes drama? Chris and Camera 2 guy are having a brutal prank war.” Gwen said as the audience looked bored which Geoff noticed.

“Yeah. Awesome. But that's not gonna get us ratings. I’d like to talk about something else but watching you squirm over Trent is the most popular thing about now, so start spilling.” Geoff said as the audience cheered.

“But I thought we were friends.” Gwen said.

“We still are, but for now, I’m the host and you’re the guest. You need to work with me for ratings to make the show successful!” Geoff said.

“I think you’re being too harsh. I mean, an anvil?” Bridgette said.

“It’s not gonna fall unless she lies!” Geoff said.

“That thing is gonna fall on me?!” Gwen asked as she pointed at the anvil above her.

“Only if you lie. But trust me, it happens fast.” DJ said.

“Nothing but the whole truth, or you might be half a Gwen. A Gw. Or maybe an en.” Geoff said and chuckled.

“That’s horrible!” Bridgette gasped.

“Network says people like dark humor.” Geoff replied.

“Listen, I still like Trent. A lot. I've always liked Trent. I've got a lot of love for all of you guys.” Gwen said.

“For anyone else? Duncan, maybe?” Geoff asked as the audience gasped.

“Leshawna, a fantastic girl, great friend. And DJ, have you tried his peach cobbler? It's unreal.” Gwen said.

“Heh. You're sweet.” DJ chuckled.

“Thanks. I love Owen, and, and you two too.” Gwen said.

“Well, I seem to remember Owen being pretty disappointed after they found out about Trent throwing their team's challenges. And the rest of the Grips were actually ticked!” Geoff said.

“Uh... did I mention the prank war between Chris and Camera 2? Listen, I don't think I did anything that bad. People break up every day.” Gwen said.

“Yeah, but the way yours went down? Mega harsh. You didn't leave many friends behind in the game.” Geoff replied.

“Duncan didn't vote me off!” Gwen said.

“Only because you had your goth girl hooks into him!” Courtney angrily said.

“Courtney, we're just friends! Please tell her, Trent.” Gwen said.

“Yeah! I never thought they were into each other, can’t we chill out?” Trent asked.

“Have anymore rotten veggies?” Courtney asked Momma as she shrugged.

“Duncan is all about you, Courtney!” Gwen said.

“Actually, I think we have a never-before-seen clip on that topic.” Geoff said.

“Thank you.” Gwen sighed in relief as the TV began playing a clip.

(Flashback) Duncan and Gwen were looking at the moon in the night. “Is it just me, or does that constellation look like Harold's pancake butt? With his spaghetti legs attached? See? I just gave you the perfect setup for a dig and you leave me hanging? What's your damage?” Gwen asked Duncan.

“You think Courtney might be looking at the stars now?” Duncan asked.

“Ugh. Urk…” Gwen pretended to gag.

“See, Courtney? Duncan's always thinking about you.” Gwen said as Courtney looked happy while the audience awed.

“Ooh, what a guy. Keep it rolling.” Geoff said and continued the clip.

(Flashback) “Wow. Who knew you were such a sucker for the A-type.” Gwen said.

“Oh, you wanna make something of it?” Duncan said.

“You can do better than that.” Gwen said as Duncan laughed and shoved her into the ground and leaned on top of her.

“Ooh.” Duncan grunted as he saw the situation they were in.

“Oh yeah, I get that up close and personal with all of my friends. Note the oh... one centimeter distance between their lips.” Geoff said as he pointed out how close they were to kissing as the audience laughed.

“No way.” Cody said.

“What the dawg?” Ezekiel said.

“Uh! We're just–” Gwen tried to say but was interrupted.

“Uh-uh. Watch what you say.” Geoff interrupted.

“Friends.” Gwen continued.

“I am so calling my lawyer! Humph!” Courtney angrily said and stormed off.

“You're totally twisting this! We wrestled for like two seconds, then stole everyone's underwear and flew it up the flagpole.” Gwen said.

“Wow, you sound like a really great friend and teammate.” Geoff chuckled.

“What is with him?!” Gwen said.

“I think he’s starting to value ratings more than relationships.” Bridgette replied.

“I'm still here, you know. We’re running a show, of course the ratings are important. And I think it's time to bring out our next surprise for Gwen!” Geoff said as an intern brought a dunk tank with orange juice instead of water.

“Dunk tank? With orange juice?” Bridgette asked.

“It looks more interesting than the water, It’ll boost the ratings! And the crew here seems totally into it. Come on Gwen, I'll give you a boost.” Geoff said while the peanut gallery looked concerned as Gwen sighed, got up and went toward the tank.

“What? You’re going to humiliate your friends?” Bridgette asked Geoff who didn’t respond.

“Okay, enough! Look, I threw the game, not Gwen. Wasn't her fault. Plus, everything's awesome now. I’m making more music and planning to start my own band.” Trent said as he got up while the audience clapped.

“Trent, thank you! Um, Trent, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for everything–” Gwen tried to say but was interrupted.

“It's cool. I’m fine with just being friends.” Trent said as the audience looked upset which Geoff noticed.

“Uh, yeah. Not into the sucky stuff. Boring stuff is bad for the ratings! You wouldn't believe the fan mail this dude's getting. Bro, getting dumped on TV puts you in good with the ladies, bro. Heh heh. Bridge, do you have anyone who’d want to talk to him?

“Well… yes. We've got one more viewer on webcam. Kelsey from Kamloops has a few words for Trent.” Bridgette said as the TV started playing footage of a nerdy girl with freckles and glasses in her room.

“Hey, everybody! This is my boyfriend, Trent!” Kelsey said as she pulled out a Trent doll.

“Is that...?” Bridgette said in shock.

“That's awesome! What do you have to say to Kelsey from Kamloops? I think she made that doll of you!” Geoff chuckled as Trent looked horrified while Kelsey kissed the doll nine times.

“Wow. Did she just kiss the doll nine times? Okay. Thanks for sharing, Kelsey.” Bridgette said and went to turn the webcam off.

“Wait! We wrote something for the real Trent. "Your hair is black, my heart is blue. I'll stuff you with rags and sew you up, too!"” Kelsey began singing as Bridgette turned the webcam off.

“Aww, it seems we've lost Kesley. And right when her poem was getting good, too. Let's snoop through Trent's fan mail instead. And that's the sixth bin this week. I only got two bins.” Geoff said as an intern came with a bunch of letters for Trent in a wheelbarrow.

“That's Trent's fan mail?! Heh. Hey, wow. Guys, I thought we were talking about me.” Gwen said while suddenly Izzy fell off the couch, revealing that it was a standee.

“What the...? It's an Izzy standee? Guess she didn't wanna be here.” Bridgette said when Izzy suddenly came, covered in bites, yelling while swinging on a vine and hung on to the top of the dunk tank.

“Uh, oh. Okay. Uh-uh, little guys, here is your new home. Everyone wants a piece of Izzy!” Izzy said as she pulled out a bag of piranhas and dumped them into the orange juice, then bounced into DJ’s lap.

“Piranhas? You've had your chance, Izzy.” Geoff told Izzy.

“Which is why, I turned this into a stealth mission to get these fishies a new home! Please welcome Miss Izzy Esquire!” Izzy said as she ran around the room.

“Uh, security? Can we get security out here?” Bridgette asked, annoyed.

“No security can stop me! One time, Ok, so I was playing the hit game Stealth Us the other day, and when the game started, a red bean-shaped character that appeared to be wearing a spacesuit told me "shh," while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. I believe this act made this red bean character extremely suspicious. To understand why this red bean character is suspicious, we first must understand how the game “Stealth  Us” works.” Izzy explained as Geoff and Bridgette rolled their eyes.

“This is gonna be fun.” Chef said as he came with a security hat and a stick.

“Ooh, a chase segment, super fun! Catch the Hurdle Queen, Esquire!” Izzy said as she jumped on the dunk tank chair.

“Stand still, girl!” Chef yelled as he jumped on the chair while Izzy jumped away. 

“Come and get it, Cheffy. Dinner's piping hot.” Izzy laughed as hit the dunk tank board, causing Chef to fall in the piranha filled orange juice as she laughed.

“I hate this…” Chef mumbled while the audience laughed.

“Tha was fun! Bye!” Izzy said as she ran away.

“Well, that happened. Maybe we'll take one last question.” Bridgette said.

“I've got a queue here from Gidgette123. For Gwen! Uh... blah blah blah. My boyfriend isn't acting like himself. He's slowly turning into Captain Smarmy Hollywood and doesn't care about anything but the ratings. He's losing what made me love him and what should I do?” Geoff read a letter while Bridgette looked upset.

“That's from who?” Gwen asked.

“Not sure who'd be asking you for romantic advice. Ha ha ha. Ha ha.” Bridgette chuckled.

“Very funny. Well, if there's anything I've learned from this, it's to be straight up. As long as you're up front, nothing can bite you in the butt.” Gwen said.

“Gwen's right. Honesty would've saved my butt, too. If you can't be honest, Bridgette–” DJ tried to say but was interrupted.

“No, no! That wasn't from me!” Bridgette said, causing the anvil to fall.

“Look out! Anvil!” DJ yelled and pushed Gwen away and jumped away himself to dodge it.

“Oh, yeah! Awesome! Getting cozy with the anvil. Love it.” Geoff chuckled.

“I think that was meant for Bridgette.” Gwen said.

“Uh, and that's all for today! Join Chris and the cast next time for the most dramatically thrilling episode of Total. Drama. Action. Ever!” Bridgette ended.

“Hey, Bridge? You ok?” Geoff asked.

“You and I need to talk.” Bridgette said as the two walked away while the episode ended.

BONUS CLIP

Gwen’s Aftermath After-Clip

Gwen was sitting backstage. “Oh, man. They really let me have it out there. That was tough. And seeing Trent was no cakewalk either. Guess Trent's the man now. Sure has a lot of girls after him. Who knew he had so many fans? It's nice that he stood up for me. Maybe he still likes me a little.” Gwen chuckled when she suddenly heard something.

“Finally, the lawsuit worked. I’m going to get my redemption after being cheated out last time!” Courtney told someone on her phone off-screen, not noticing Gwen overheard her.

“Oh wow.” Gwen said in shock.

Chapter Text

“Last time on Total Drama Action…” Chris began the recap on a car. “We learned that war movies are brutal! At first, our contestants were flying high. But tensions soon ran deep when Grips couldn't capture the footlocker to win the challenge. Despite the inspiring leadership of Admiral Lindsay, Her Hotness. And while the Gaffers technically won that battle, you have to wonder if they lost the war because their biggest conflict is still with each other. In the end, even though Owen's jaw was wired shut, his heart was wide open as he faced a plus-sized voting tragedy. Was it time for Izzy to go? Again? Uh, yeah! That girl is a complete whackjob! You keep coming back for the explosive drama, I keep coming back for the perks. Car chase this week! And with only eight contestants left, the engines are on and the stereo is set to thump to the catchy opening theme song. It's time for some more Total. Drama. Action! Aw, crap!” he said as he rode away his car and crashed it off-screen.

(Theme song)

The episode began with the campers eating in the craft services tent. “What?” Duncan asked after he saw Heather glaring at him.

“Vandal. Jockless. Nerd.” Heather said as she insulted him, Tyler and Harold while Harold blew a raspberry at her.

“We have to all stop acting like babies or every one of us is going home.” Leshawna said.

Confessional: Harold

“Ever since Leshawna sold us all up the river for a day at the spa, I've finally come to see that she's only looking out for herself. Of course, if I looked like that, I'd probably just look at myself all day, too. Uh, but she's a bad, selfish person! Bad! So bad…” Harold swooned.

“Come on, you guys. What Leshawna did is for the best. Nobody needs a day at the spa like she does. In fact, you could write a tell-all book about her hairdo called "Weave Got Problems"” Heather mocked.

“Nobody's gonna argue with her?” Leshawna asked..

“Sounds like an entertaining read.” Harold said.

“Your hair is pretty weird.” Tyler agreed.

“I'm going back to the trailer.” Leshawna said and left the tent.

“Try not to let the door hit your butt on the way out!” Duncan yelled.

“Door? It's a tent, idiot boy.” Heather said.

“Uh, it's a figure of speech?” Duncan replied.

“What you should've said was, "Don't let the flap flutter y--"” Harold tried to say but was interrupted.

“Shut up, Harold.” Heather and Duncan said.

Cut to Leshawna walking outside the tent. “They're gonna pay. Leshawna's revenge-- Hey!” Leshawna tried to say but was suddenly kidnapped.

Cut to inside the tent. “I feel so lucky to still be here.” Beth said.

“I knew I’d make it this far.” Eva said.

“Is that why you got booted so early twice last time?” Justin said.

“You got booted early too!” Eva argued.

“And I am back on track! My jaw's unwired and back in business! I can finally eat like normal people! Ha ha ha!” Owen said as he ate a huge amount of food.

“Or like ten normal people.” Noah mocked.

“Sorry you guys, but there's a great smell coming from Chef's steam table and seconds are a-wasting!” Owen said as he ran into the kitchen. “Aw, man, it was just steam! My sniffer must be getting rusty. Yoohoo, Cheffy-poo?! Come out, come out wherever you are!” Owen called out as he was suddenly kidnapped. The kidnappers had to use a truck due to his weight.

Cut to the tent when suddenly Chris came from the roof by sliding down a rope. “What an entrance!” Beth gasped.

“Consider it a hint as to this week's movie genre!” Chris replied.

“Is it lame-o, rock-climbing, wannabe host movies?” Duncan asked.

“No. This week, we're paying tribute to the action-packed bank heist gangster caper film!” Chris replied.