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Pete checked the time again. 2:17 pm. He sighed, and smiled apologetically at the waitress hovering around his table, waiting for him to order something other than a couple of side dishes and the two bottles of still water he had already gulped down after almost two hours of patience. The young woman - she probably was just a few years older than him - gave him a long, pitiful glance, as if she knew everything and felt more sorry for him than for the money she was allowing to slip out of her paycheck by letting him sit there alone. A couple who had sat down after him and was already leaving offered him the same look passing by his half empty table, and Pete didn't dare look up at them, fixing his sight on the plate in front of him. A weight on his chest was stopping him from giving up and asking for the check.
His phone dinged happily, and Pete immediately unlocked it. The message from Kao appeared on his screen as soon as he opened their LINE chat, the words hitting like a spear at the pit of his stomach.
Kao -_-
I don't think I can make it, one of my student's mom wants to talk to me over lunch about her son's grades
Pete (ง︡'-'︠)ง
ok
Kao -_-
Please, don't be mad? You know I have to do this
Pete (ง︡'-'︠)ง
u can say no sometimes
Kao -_-
Pete...
Can we pls talk about this later? I have to go
Pete (ง︡'-'︠)ง
as always
go do ur thing, im busy too
Pete felt the very familiar sensation of anger poisoning his head. He slammed the phone on the empty space of the table cloth, just next to the cutlery and, as soon as he did, everyone's eyes darted to him - blood rushing to his face to tint his cheeks of a lively red, Pete didn't know if from the embarrassment or the irritation.
He bitterly chuckled at his own hopelessness: he had never been the type to wait for his partner at a fancy restaurant just to be stood up. It was shameful, as if he were a fool who had asked out the hottest girl in school and she had refused him in front of everyone - or at least, that's how he thought people around saw him.
It had taken Pete weeks to decide on a date with Kao, making a reservation one month in advance too; he had put up with Kao's packed schedule in the last few days so he could've been free at least for lunch on that day, but maybe all his efforts were always destined to be wasted and discarded into the bin in favor of Kao's students, schedule, assignments. Pete knew Kao was that busy to earn enough money for his family, it's not like he didn't or couldn't understand, but the time Kao always sacrificed first was inevitably... Pete.
It had happened for the first time on Kao's first week of tutoring, when dinner with Pete's dad was replaced by an extra lesson for a student's physics exam on the next day. The second time, Kao had arrived 40 minutes late, because of a stubborn parent and heavy traffic, leaving only 20 minutes of their booked laser tag game time - basically just 10 considering Kao had had to put all the equipment on. Pete stopped counting after the third time, when Kao had completely bailed on him at their usual Tuesday lunch meetup-slash-date without even a text, apologizing later that night on Pete's couch saying he had 'lost track of time while studying in the library'.
The waitress interrupted his train of thoughts clearing her throat next to him. "Sir, I'm sorry to disturb, but the restaurant will close in around thirty minutes, would you like to order your main course now?"
Pete stared at her for what felt like an entire minute, pondering his answer. He tried to collect the little patience left in him to be polite to the woman, who was looking back at him slightly uncomfortable. "Sorry, my boyf-" 'Can you stop calling me that in front of the waiters? It's embarrassing...' "My date is not gonna show up. I'll order a steak, but you can have it when you get off work, or throw it away, I don't care." He got up and gathered his things, while the waitress pulled a perplexed expression but still noting down the order on his tab. "Have a good day."
Paying for a meal he didn't even get to eat felt weird, but Pete wanted to hurry home and throw himself on his bed, aiming to find a cure for that feeling of loneliness somewhere between the cold sheets and Kao's lingering scent that always permeated his pillows. When the door closed loudly with a thud, his dad diverted his gaze from his papers to him, flashing him a soft smile.
"How was your date?" he asked, sweet, as Pete climbed the first steps up the stairs looking gloomy. "Was the restaurant not good?"
Pete stopped in the middle of the staircase and looked back at his dad. "I'm full, I won't eat dinner with you tonight."
"Oh, are you sure? Kao just texted me asking if he could come over."
"He can have dinner with you alone, then." He seems to not care if I'm there or not anyway, he thought, but decided to keep that part to himself, biting the inside of his cheek not to let any snarky comments out. "I'm tired, I'm gonna take a shower," he stated, avoiding his father's gaze, that, despite everything, followed the shape of his slumped shoulders until he disappeared upstairs.
Showering took way longer than usual, mostly because Pete couldn't decide what to do first between punching the wall, crying under the water jet or simply shampooing his hair. In the end, he settled on the third option, as he felt was the safest one, and let the soap wash away his worries at least for a few minutes. In what felt like a daze - was Pete really that tired after skipping lunch? - he climbed under his bed sheets and shut his eyelids close. Just for a bit, I'm gonna rest my eyes and then go edit the photos I took the other day. I also have to study for an exam next week, but I can do that later... Somewhere in the middle of those thoughts, his mind drifted off to sleep.
Pete woke suddenly at the restless sound of knocking on his bedroom door and of the doorknob moving hurriedly back and forth, as if someone was trying to get inside by all means possible - when had Pete even locked himself in?
"Dad, chill, I'm coming!" he shouted from the bed, rubbing his tired eyes before getting up. The noises stopped right after, and Pete wondered where his father had found enough energy to almost knock down his door. Before he could connect the information in his own brain, he was faced with Kao's worried brows and shaking breaths.
Kao stepped into his room, immediately grabbing him and pulling him into a tight hug. Pete couldn't help but melt into the touch just slightly before pushing him away just enough so that they could lock eyes. Kao seemed sad, something similar to anxiety filling his light brown irises in the low light of the room.
"Why are you here?" The question came out in a meaner tone than he had intended, and Pete immediately regretted it. He didn't want Kao to think he was still angry at him – in fact, the nap had helped ease out his irritation.
"You weren't answering your phone or opening the door... Your dad also said you were strange earlier." Kao let his bag slide down his arm until it hit the ground, a few notes flying out under Pete's desk. He guided them to the bed, and forced Pete to sit on the edge in front of him, his hands resting on his shoulders as he gently urged him. Kao crouched down so that their eyes could meet almost at the same level. "I'm sorry, Pete. I've been so busy lately, and I got so worried thinking you..." Kao sighed, leaving the sentence uncompleted again. Pete's head was spinning trying to decipher his boyfriend's fear. "I'm sorry for today, Pete, I really wanted to have lunch with you too."
Pete stared right back at his boyfriend. "It took me forever to book a table."
"I know..." Guilt took over Kao, his voice feeble, barely above a whisper. "Can you forgive me? Please?"
Kao's tone tugged at Pete's heartstrings in the blink of an eye, but he still turned his head away. Honestly, he wasn't even a bit mad anymore, but... he had every right to sulk just for a few moments, didn't he? "No."
"Na? Na na na na? I promise I'll always be on time from now on."
Pete forced himself to cross his arms on his chest, and Kao's hands fell to his thighs with the movement. He surely wasn't gonna complain about that, the sudden touch gifting him with a tingling sensation and a loud thud of his own heart. He pretended to think about it for a moment, face serious, and he glanced at Kao, who was giving him sweet eyes and pouty lips. It was a pity that Pete had to stop himself from kissing him in these situations – pouting Kao was just so cute, but he had to torture his boyfriend a bit longer. "And I will get to punish you if you don't?"
Kao gave him a flat look and a small sigh but nodded, the hint of a knowing smile appearing on his lips. "Am I forgiven yet?"
"Maybe."
Kao's fingers slid up to his sides, holding him in place as his soft lips reached his face, planting a small peck on his cheek. Another kiss, this time not so innocent, right under his jawline, and Pete's breath itched, skin prickling at the touch and sending shivers throughout his body. "What about now?" Kao's tone was cunning - he knew Pete wouldn't have been able to stay in sulking mode for much longer.
"Not sure. I might need more bribing," he replied, teasingly. It was clear to both of them Pete wasn't mad anymore, and the annoyance had turned into bubbly excitement and flirty comebacks. Kao didn't back down, and placed his hands on Pete's shoulders as he leaned in to kiss him, sweet and slow.
Kissing Kao after the long day they had had and all the loneliness and hurt felt like coming home. Kao's lips were plump and soft, probably thanks to the lip balm he applied every morning and that Pete loved the taste of, moving almost carefully against his. They hadn't kissed that way in a long time, Pete realized, the sensation bringing back memories of their first kisses after they had started dating, two years prior. The thought moved Pete forward, cupping Kao's cheeks instead of his neck like he always did, pressing delicately on his boyfriend's mouth. It felt both sugary and savor, the taste of Kao's lips filling his every senses and taking over his thoughts as he melted just a bit more into the kiss. Before they could deepen it, Pete felt the need to stop and imprint this, this feeling, in his memory. Was Kao feeling the same as him? Did Kao feel his heart burn and his head spin too? Pete didn't have an answer, but he admitted that he was selfish, he didn't care. Even if eventually Kao's feelings weren't as deep as his, he could live with that, if it meant he could have Kao by his side. "Kao," he murmured between kisses.
"Hm?" Kao pulled away just slightly to let him speak, but he was still so close that his hot breath burned his skin. Pete's eyes fluttered open and he was met with the most beautiful of sights. Kao's full lips were now red and a bit swollen, vaguely parted, and his neck and cheeks were flushed, both from the anticipation and the somewhat uncomfortable position he was in to kiss him. Something in Pete's chest ached thinking someone like Kao - so handsome, so sincere - could let him love him. Even after all the kisses, all the hugs, all the long deep conversations they had shared, he still couldn't wrap his head around it. In his past life, he must had been a national hero or something to deserve this now, to deserve Kao, his eyes, his smile. He was so damn lucky.
"I love you."
It certainly wasn't the first time Pete had let those words slip out of his mouth, but it felt like it for some reason. It shouldn't have taken this long for him to mean it, but this really felt like love to Pete. This warmth radiating from Kao's body, impossibly close to his, lighting up everything inside of him.
Kao smirked softly, raising one of his brows. "I thought you were mad at me?"
"I am," hissed Pete, closing the space between them and pulling Kao in for a heated kiss this time. The impact knocked air out of their lungs, and all Pete could feel was Kao's hands grabbing his shirt tightly, his head slightly tilted to allow him more access to his mouth. Pete didn't need to be told twice. Kao instinctively whimpered at the sensation of their tongues touching and he let Pete take the lead as he slowly climbed on the bed and straddled him. They spent a significant amount of time just savoring each other fully, hands interlocking with strands of hair, pulling, soothing, clinging on clothes, fumbling with buttons and undressing, Kao's hips grinding teasingly against the soft fabric of Pete's sweatpants. Pete could do nothing but moan quietly on Kao's lips, the sound making his boyfriend shudder in response. God, it was like he hadn't felt so alive in so long, Kao's greedy fingertips exploring every inch of his body as if he didn't already know every nook and corner, as if that wasn't enough – for Pete, it never would've been enough, craving that kind of touch, feeling, closeness every day for, he had sworn to himself, the rest of his life. Fuck, just how much he loved Kao. He was sure he couldn't have nor would've loved anyone else that much, not even in his next life.
They broke the kiss to find air again, and Kao, still breathing pretty heavily, flashed him a timid smile. "Pete, you know I'm really sorry for tod-"
Pete planted a small kiss on his lips. "It's fine, Kao, you can stop apologizing." He couldn't hold back a grin as he whispered the next words into his boyfriend's ear. "I wanna hear something else coming out of your mouth now."
Kao huffed out a chuckle, pushing both of them gently so that they were now laying on the bed, Pete below him staring up at his teasing eyes. "What's that? Please elaborate, Pete," Kao breathed out, grinding against his already hard cock. Pete couldn't stop a loud groan from escaping his lips, his entire body arching upwards to meet Kao's. He could feel his boyfriend's bulge through the layers of clothes still separating them, but Kao didn't seem to be in a rush to unbutton his jeans, grabbing his wrists and pinning them against the mattress. "Do you want me on top?" he whispered, sending shivers all throughout Pete's body.
"No," Pete panted, "I wanna fuck you, Kao."
Kao just smirked for a moment. "Good," he stood up suddenly and removed his pants and boxers, his pale skin in marked contrast with his red, pulsing dick. Without another word, Kao grabbed the bottle of lube and a condom from the drawer he knew Pete always put them in and shoved them into Pete's arms. "get to work," he demanded, quickly laying on the bed on his stomach, wiggling his ass in the air just slightly in the most inviting way. Just when Pete had thought he couldn't get any harder.
"Shit, you're gonna be the end of me, Kao." He didn't want to lose another second, so he got rid of his sweatpants and underwear as well, uncapping the lube bottle without hesitation. He squeezed a fairly large amount on his fingers, expecting Kao to be pretty tight after almost two weeks of not having penetrative sex, but he easily pushed the second finger in almost right away, not without whimpers and quivering breaths falling out of Kao's mouth pressed against the bed sheets. "I thought you'd be tighter," he murmured, not really expecting an answer.
"I was m-missing y-you last night..." stuttered out Kao, as Pete mercilessly worked him open, curling his fingers inside of him in search of his prostate. "Fuck," he moaned, and Pete repeated the movement with a shameless grin that he knew Kao couldn't see. He pushed in a third finger, admiring as his boyfriend clenched involuntarily around him and his whole body shuddered in pleasure. Kao looked beautiful, his white skin highlighted by the grey bed sheets under him, his soft dark bangs falling gracefully onto his eyes and pink cheeks. The soft light from the lamp cast shadows on his hands, tightly gripping to anything nearby as his hips moved downwards to meet Pete, his eyes fluttering close and open again repeatedly. Pete could've stared at him for ages if it had been humanly possible to do so, wishing he could just store in his memory every second and even the tiniest changes of expression dancing on Kao's face. Was he out of his mind or just in love? Pete couldn't tell the two apart anymore.
"You should've called, then," he said after a moment, like it was the most natural thing in the world. The wet sounds of his fingers thrusting relentless into Kao and his broken sighs were the only things filling the room for so long that Pete wondered if Kao was doing okay. He stopped his movements to ask just that, but Kao immediately glanced at him from behind his shoulder, eyes piercing and warm. Pete wondered if Kao could see the whirl of emotions that had taken over his chest somewhere in his gaze.
"Why did you stop?" he asked. Pete's mouth went dry for a second at Kao's question, unsure of what to say now. Kao sounded impatient, his voice ragged and just above a feeble whisper.
"Turn around," he urged, pulling his fingers out between Kao's whining. His boyfriend gave him a look Pete couldn't quite decode but he didn't say anything, complying to his request. Pete grabbed a pillow laying around and slid it under Kao's lower back, making sure he was comfortable enough. After retrieving the condom from somewhere between the sheets, hastily sliding it on and spreading a good amout of lube all over it, Pete grabbed Kao's knees with both hands and spread his thighs apart not so gently, positioning himself between them. Kao was watching his every movement with attentive eyes, his neck and upper torso red with lust and anticipation, and he desperately clung to Pete's neck, scratching lightly, to pull him in for a kiss. Kao's lips felt wetter and hungry, nibbling and sucking against Pete's mouth, on his neck, earlobe - pulling at the earring he had gotten just a few months prior. A sinful gasp escaped his lips, and Pete barely held back from thrusting with force into Kao, reminding himself that no matter how much turned on and aching he was, he had promised to always ask Kao if he was ready - or at least warn him - before entering him.
"Pete," Kao panted. His eyes fluttered open to meet Pete's, deep and dark with want. "I need you- need you inside me."
Pete grunted in all response, his thoughts all fuzzy and taken over only by Kao, his soft skin, the faint traces of his cologne and the smell and taste of his sweat where Pete was leaving open mouthed, damp kisses. He carefully guided his dick towards Kao's hole and gently pushed in, the action knocking the air out of Kao's lungs with a soft whimper anyway. "Is this okay?" he asked, as he sank further, deeper into Kao, who only nodded quietly, pulling him in and heaving himself up just enough for their foreheads to be pressed together in the most intimate, breathtaking way Pete could've ever dreamed of. "Good?" he whispered, mouth moving just a few inches away from Kao's body. Pete could feel his heart racing wildly.
"Yeah, good," Kao replied, voice small in the silence surrounding them. "Pete?"
"Hm?"
"Kiss me." And Pete did. Kao's fingers gently combed his hair at the nape of his neck, an immense sweetness in the gesture that Pete would've never get tired of, and his legs circled his waist, locking him in place. Pete buried himself in Kao's warmth all around him and pulled back just enough to thrust in again, slow and firm, broken breaths itching on his face. He could faintly feel Kao digging into his shoulder and holding back a groan as he repeated the movement again, again, and again, the kiss quickly forgotten somewhere in those short moments. Kao moaned softly in his ear, and Pete felt a familiar tingling sensation stiffening his body and he let himself be held by Kao as he released with a loud grunt deep inside of him.
"Shit, sorry, that was too quick."
Kao smiled, a gentle smile that made his heart tremble despite his embarrassment. "It's okay," he spoke, placing a quick peck on his neck and another on his lips as Pete turned his head to look him in the eyes. "you know you don't have to apologize, it was good."
"It was," Pete admitted in a low voice, swallowing his ego - he was able to do that only in front of Kao, if he had to be honest. "but-"
"No 'but's," Kao interrupted him, firm but kind. Pete felt some of the weight on his shoulders melt away at his reassurance, and couldn't help himself from lovingly sniff-kissing Kao's cheek, leaving his boyfriend in giggles. He carefully pulled out and discarded the used condom, reluctantly getting up from the warm embrace encircling him for a few moments, just to cuddle again into his boyfriend's side right after. "Shower and then sleep?" Kao pressed a sweet kiss to Pete's mouth.
Pete shook his head. "I thought you wanted to finish off first."
"I'll live." Comfortable silence filled the room as Kao snuggled in the crook of his neck. "You smell good today."
"Do I?"
"Is it the cologne I got you?"
"Maybe." Pete smiled against Kao's soft strands of hair. "Kao."
"Hm?"
"I'm hungry. Don't laugh - I haven't had anything to eat because of you!" he whined, Kao's chuckling beautifully as the moonlight sneaked in through the curtains and lit his face of a shade of ethereal.
"I'll cook you MAMA noodles."
Pete grunted, holding Kao even closer before he could slip away and get up to do that. "You better." A kiss to Kao's temple. "But later."
"Alright." And all Pete could hear in that word was the unspoken I love you Kao reserved for him. Pete couldn't have been happier as Kao held him just as tight, hearts beating loudly against each other throughout the rest of the night.