Chapter Text
Murder had never been on Shen Yuan's bucket list, not really. But then again, he hadn't had plans to choke on a meat bun and die either. So he guessed that was fair.
Well. Kind of.
Shen Yuan—Shen Qingqiu, now, he supposed—stared down at the corpse of Die-er on the ground in half-shock, the shriveled form of the beaten demon slowly losing color in its skin as red blossomed underneath it, seeping into the cracks of the ground.
The System's "Easy Mode" truly was an effective and user-friendly gift; for a creature that had killed countless innocents in such a short amount of time, it sure had died quicker than he thought it would have. Just one spiritual energy-infused strike of the palm, and boom, dead demon. Five stars!
Hiding a grimace at the still-bloody display in front of him, Shen Qingqiu stood up and brushed the dirt off his hands, clicking his tongue in annoyance at the mess before glancing over at Luo Binghe, whose face was still a blanched shade of white as he looked up at him.
Poor thing, this was probably his first time witnessing a demon execution in person. Not to mention the fact that he was also kind of kidnapped. Shen Qingqiu felt a pang of sympathy in his heart as he spoke quietly to his disciple, although still in an uninterested tone so he wouldn't be OOC.
"This is your first time seeing someone eliminate demons and uphold justice. Were you scared?"
Wide brown eyes stared back at his own jade green.
"If you wish to 'uphold,'" Shen Qingqiu continued, taking another glance at the Skinner Demon's crumpled body, "you must 'eliminate'."
Luo Binghe looked down at his feet, gritting his teeth as he blurted out what was on his mind. "Shizun," he began in a quavering voice, "if this disciple may be so bold as to ask, just now..."
"You want to ask, if that ceiling beam hadn't suddenly come crashing down, what was this master's plan?"
Shen Qingqiu's words were met with silence.
For heaven's sake! He wanted to explain, he really did! That nothing in the world could possibly hurt Luo Binghe with that glorified golden finger of his, that this world practically bent to his will! The new Qing Jing Peak Lord wanted to pull his hair out and scream curses at the "Great Master" Airplane in frustration. Aiya, the burdens of transmigrating!
Before he could even utter a poorly-made excuse to evade the question, the familiar Google Translate-like sound of the System rang throughout his mind, its robotic voice still somehow appearing cheerful and peppy. It pissed him off.
[ If Host feels so greatly aggrieved as to wanting to ruin his beautiful hair due to his misfortunes and the 'unfair treatment' he's receiving, perhaps he should simply tell his filial, devoted, white lotus of a disciple the truth. \(٥⁀▽⁀ )／ ]
Although the System spoke bright words of encouragement, Shen Qingqiu had a sneaking suspicion that it was kind of... what, mocking him? What the hell?
Screw off, System! I'll do things myself!
[ If Host says so, then this System will happily stand by. (￣▽￣) ]
As Shen Qingqiu managed to change the topic successfully and mutter out a couple of ambiguous (but hopefully reassuring!) words to Luo Binghe about his immunity to calamity, he wanted to bash the System's mute button with all four of his limbs. It's only been a few days since he woke up in this story as the scum villain; can't he get a break?! What's with all this nagging and passive-aggressiveness from his System lately?!
As soon as he accepted this quest in Shuang Hu City to get rid of the Skinner Demon, his normally polite System had been subtly badgering him to get the job done. Sure, it still acted like a happy customer service worker most of the time, but it also kept giving him signals to finish the mission. Sending him constant notifications while he tried to relax in his room earlier in the day, even offering him the "Easy Mode" when he encountered difficulties tracking the demon down; if an outsider were to see this, they would think that this mission wasn't to help Shen Qingqiu level up, but to benefit the System itself instead!
To top it all off, those "cute" little emojis it used at the end of every sentence were irritating as hell! Can't you take it easy on the emoticons?!
"Um, Shizun...?"
Shen Qingqiu snapped out of his daze at his disciple's voice, blinking in slight confusion before composing himself. "Yes?"
Luo Binghe, no longer filled with dread and apprehension thanks to his master's comforting words, held out Xiu Ya with both hands. He smiled slightly as he lifted the sword up to Shen Qingqiu, the blade glinting in the moonlight that filtered in from large cracks in the walls. "Shizun, your sword!"
Shen Qingqiu nodded as he took Xiu Ya from Binghe's hands before gesturing to Ning Yingying, whose unconscious body was still leaning against the slanted pillar where they had been tied up earlier. "Go check on your shijie. Wake her up if you can."
Binghe nodded and hurried away, and with his disciple occupied for the moment, Shen Qingqiu turned the sword over in his hands, admiring the way its blade glinted from the moonlight filtering in through the cracks of the windows.
Xiu Ya, a sword of great power and rumored to be difficult to control. Quite a formidable item, if he was being honest, and also strong enough to even cut through the spiritual energy-sucking Immortal-Binding Cables. Even its name alone sounded noble, practically oozing an aura of grace and strength.
His eyes roamed all over the lavish decorations and intricate carvings on the silver hilt in curiosity before frowning a little.
Such a beautiful weapon, and yet its merit was wasted on no-good scum.
Just as the thought crossed his mind, he was bombarded with the excruciatingly loud chimes of notifications filling his brain. The familiar little screen of the System materialized directly in front of his face, almost angrily blinding him with non-existent blue light.
[ Ning Yingying's favor towards you has increased. Protagonist's satisfaction points +50. ]
[ Obtained high-level item: Immortal-Binding Cables. Villain's strength +30. ]
[ Completed beginner-level quest: B-Points +200. OOC feature now has the option to unfreeze. Please return to your mission checkpoint to manually change the function settings. ^^ ]
Finally! Shen Qingqiu wanted to fall to his knees and cry out in relief. He's free! He's finally free! As soon as he unfreezes that stupid OOC feature, it's a path to clinging onto the protagonist's golden thighs for him! His brows furrowed slightly, however, after reading the rest of the sentence. Mission checkpoint? Where would that...?
[ If Host once again has trouble finding answers on his own and requires manual assistance, this System would like to point out the obvious that the location where the quest was accepted is deemed the mission checkpoint. (〜￣▽￣)〜 ]
What, so like, back to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect?
[ Congratulations, Host! You managed to figure out a clue without the help of "Easy Mode." Your IQ is leveling up! \(^ヮ^)/ ]
Even though the System's monotonous voice hadn't changed a bit in pitch or attitude, and the little emoticons at the end seemed innocent enough, Shen Qingqiu could still somehow tell that its words were condescending and judgmental, as if it were looking down on him for not immediately figuring out what the checkpoint was. Well, that's not his fault! Seriously, won't you go easy on him?!
[ Oh, and Host. ]
What.
[ This System would like to remind Host that he is still currently half-naked. ]
What.
With a surprisingly composed expression, Shen Qingqiu slowly looked down at his bare chest, before turning his head to the side, where he was greeted with a shy-looking Luo Binghe holding out the outer robes that Die-er had taken off earlier.
In the peripheral view of his vision, he could make out a now conscious Ning Yingying, who was standing off to the side and kicking the floor in boredom as she waited for matters to be finished up.
"... Shizun," Binghe finally managed to blurt out awkwardly, avoiding eye contact with his master. "Your, um..."
"... Thank you, Binghe."
As he took the bundle of robes from his disciple's hands while averting his eyes, Shen Qingqiu inwardly cried out in pain. Someone kill me! I'm done, I'm done! I really won't complain if you kick me into the Abyss right now!
[ If that is Host's wish, then this System can always send him back to his original wo— ]
Nevermind, I lied! I'm complaining! Complaining so much!
Shen Qingqiu did not get much sleep that night.
When they returned to Cang Qiong Mountain Sect the next day, the first thing he did was go report the results of the expedition to Yue Qingyuan. As he climbed up the steps to the top of Qiong Ding Peak alone, he mumbled aloud to get the System's attention. "System, can I unfreeze the OOC feature now?"
The little blue screen appeared with a POP! and began slowly drifting alongside him.
[ Apologies, Host. In order to unfreeze the function, Host is required to reach and interact with the mission checkpoint, which has not been achieved due to his astonishingly sluggish speed. At this rate, you will end up never receiving the reward. Poor Host. (￣ω￣;) ]
"I'm trying my best, alright?! There are too many stairs!" Shen Qingqiu snapped in annoyance. "And the hell do you mean, 'has not been achieved'? I'm literally back at Cang Qiong!"
[ Cang Qiong Mountain itself isn't the mission checkpoint, Host. As Sect Leader Yue was the one who brought up the quest in the first place and therefore initiated it, he is deemed the mission checkpoint. (￣▽￣) ]
"So an actual person is the checkpoint? How does that even make sense?!"
[ We are just following the rules of the System, Host! Don't get mad at perfectly reasonable regulations! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ ]
Shen Qingqiu scoffed quietly at the System's comments and was about to give it a piece of his mind before another thought struck him. "By the way, System."
[ Yes, Host? ]
"Why have you been so eager for me to finish this quest?"
The System went quiet for a moment before its robotic voice spoke up again. [ This System only wishes for Host to complete his objective and gain many B-Points. We are Host's biggest fan! (≧◡≦) ♡ ]
Shen Qingqiu narrowed his eyes. Those were the typical cheesy phrases his System liked to say, so he guessed nothing was completely out of the ordinary. But then...
Why did he still have that nagging feeling that it was hiding something?
Before he could dwell on matters further, he went up the last step and arrived at the top of Qiong Ding Peak.
Unlike Qing Jing Peak, which was designed to be tranquil and isolated so the disciples could study the scholarly arts in peace, Qiong Ding was filled with noise. Disciples bustled in and out of the many grounds on the Peak, ducking under stone arches and wooden doorways that surrounded the place. Shen Qingqiu could see a couple of kids in the corner with their arms stuffed with scrolls, idly chatting amongst themselves as they attempted to put off their chores.
With all this activity going on, an outsider could mistake this lively place for An Ding, if it weren't for Cang Qiong's famous golden nameplate that hung on an arch above the Peak, glinting from the sunlight in all its glory.
As he walked further inside Qiong Ding, Shen Qingqiu's head swiveled around to take everything in, nodding his head in approval as he did so. As expected, the head Peak of the strongest sect was wonderfully extravagant and grandiose!
[ Host is too easily impressed. This System could show him Cang Qiong's waste dump, and he'd still fawn over it like a young maiden. (¬_¬) ]
"Tsk, shut up," muttered Shen Qingqiu under his breath, glaring at the screen. "... Wait, there’s an actual waste dump here?"
A long beep rang throughout his mind, loud and monotonous, before it slowly faded out.
Was... was that supposed to be a sigh?
As he approached Qiong Ding's main hall, he found Yue Qingyuan already waiting for him in front of the entrance. Shen Qingqiu straightened up and was about to greet him like the good shidi he was when Yue Qingyuan stepped forward first with a serious expression. In an instant, he had already grabbed Shen Qingqiu's wrist.
[ Violation: OOC. B-Points -5. Current B-Points: 360. ]
Shen Qingqiu wanted to scream like a banshee and punch the air in protest. He really wanted to bash that stupid System's little pop-up window into the ground a hundred times! No, a thousand! No, forever!
System! What the fuck?! Why are you punishing me for OOC?! Not even a warning?! I didn't even do anything! All Zhangmen-shixiong did was grab my wrist! And didn't I already complete the Shuang Hu City quest?! Why can't I reap the benefits?!
[ This System would like to remind Host that he has not yet unfrozen the OOC feature manually, so OOC violations are still in place. In addition, the original Shen Qingqiu, unless absolutely required, would not allow Yue Qingyuan to hold onto his wrist for such a long period of time. Instead, he would immediately shake him off and snap at him, further damaging his own reputation as the scum villain. (￣▽￣) ]
A long period of—that was only three seconds!
[ It's just the rules, Host! ^^ ]
While he bickered with the System internally, Shen Qingqiu could still feel Yue Qingyuan's hand clutching his wrist, although not harshly. A warm and pleasant sensation soon washed over him as the Sect Leader's spiritual energy transferred into his own, mixing in with his qi and circulating in comfortable unison through his meridians. Shen Qingqiu let out a content sigh as the feeling enveloped him from the top of his head to the heels of his feet, little bits of energy pricking at him underneath his skin.
Once he was satisfied with Shen Qingqiu’s spiritual state, Yue Qingyuan let go of his wrist with a smile, and the two exchanged proper pleasantries before discussing the outcome of the mission in Shuang Hu City. They chatted for a few minutes before Shen Qingqiu promptly requested to go into secluded cultivation in the Ling Xi Caves, which, after a moment of pondering, Yue Qingyuan agreed to.
Shen Qingqiu crossed the translucent Rainbow Bridge back to Qing Jing Peak, humming quietly to himself as his billowing green sleeves flowed behind him. The System's blue window popped up again with a DING! and a question mark icon was displayed on the screen.
[ Host just asked for permission to go into the Ling Xi Caves, did he not? Then why is he returning to Qing Jing? ]
A faint smile appeared on Shen Qingqiu's face as he continued walking back to his Peak determinedly, his left hand clutching his fan while his right dug into his wide sleeve. He felt around for a bit before his slender fingers wrapped around a small cultivation manual, the texture of the cover rough and worn.
"Oh, you know. There's just something I need to do first."
When he arrived at Qing Jing Peak, Shen Qingqiu immediately called for Luo Binghe, who darted over eagerly. After the events at Shuang Hu City, it appeared that although he was still a bit wary of his master, the protagonist was no longer so deathly afraid to the point that he would pale at the mere sight of him.
Before he could even bow, Shen Qingqiu immediately tossed the cultivation manual at him. Luo Binghe, caught off guard with little time to react, fumbled with the book before managing to hold onto it properly, and looked up with wide eyes.
"Why is Shizun giving this disciple a completely different manual than the one he has now?" he asked, tilting his head as confusion filled his expression, his curls cascading down his shoulders with the small action.
Ah, he looks so innocent! Truly a white lotus during his discipleship days! Shen Qingqiu couldn't help but fawn over his little bun of a disciple. Seriously, the original goods must've gone mad. How could he hate such a cute little kid like this?
"Your constitution is a little different from the other disciples," he replied, making up some bullshit excuse on the spot while flicking his fan open to cover the lower half of his face, somehow maintaining his solemn and dignified persona. "You can't cultivate properly by following the ordinary methods, so this master has taken some of his precious time to acquire you a new one. Don't put his efforts to waste."
Luo Binghe's jaw promptly dropped to the ground, and really, Shen Qingqiu couldn't blame him. Imagine getting beat up and punished by someone for almost two years, and then having that same person just give you a gift out of the blue. Personally, he thought Luo Binghe was handling this pretty well.
When the boy didn't say anything else, Shen Qingqiu turned around, his pale green robes fluttering behind him in the gentle breeze, and started to make his way toward the Ling Xi Caves. Secluded cultivation, here I come!
[ Warning, warning! OOC! Shen Qingqiu would most certainly not give Luo Binghe a new cultivation manual, especially since he gave him the faulty one in the first place. ]
"Under normal circumstances? Then yeah, of course he wouldn't." Shen Qingqiu glanced over his shoulder, only to see Luo Binghe still standing in the same place where he had left him, looking awestruck at the events that unfolded before him just a few moments ago. "But during that Shuang Hu mission, he was knocked out by Die-er in seconds. How would that appear to the other sects, the civilians? A disciple of Cang Qiong's lofty Immortal Master Shen, unable to defend himself from a simple demon? They'd end up being the ones razing this place to the ground, not Luo Binghe. So, in order not to dishonor myself or the sect, I should probably supervise his cultivation and give him a proper manual, right?"
The System went quiet at his statement, seemingly unable to argue with his logic.
[ ... Host does realize that he was knocked out by the Skinner Demon as well, doesn't he? (￣ω￣;) ]
"Shut up."
It didn't take long to arrive at the entrance to the Ling Xi Caves. The inside was dark and musty—a perplexing maze of wide twists and turns that made one's head spin. Strange little mushrooms lined the cool rock walls and illuminated the caves with a soft golden glow, providing a little light to the surroundings.
Shen Qingqiu followed the line of mushrooms until he reached another cavern. This one would've looked identical to the one he was just in if not for the deep gashes made in the stone walls, crude and rough, as if someone had desperately tried to leave and had resorted to losing their mind instead. Dark red, almost black stains caked the walls, and although the blood had long since dried, Shen Qingqiu could still smell the lingering traces of copper in the air, a preview of what would happen if one were to lose control in these isolated caves alone.
A small DING! echoed throughout the empty cavern as the System's screen came into view once more, but instead of hovering right in front of his face as usual, it tilted side to side slightly, as if checking out their surroundings.
[ This is... ]
Shen Qingqiu furrowed his eyebrows. "What is it?" he asked, glancing toward the directions the screen had faced. "Is this some sort of scene where an important plot point takes place?"
[ ... Apologies, this System miscalculated and simply made an error! Please pay no mind, Host! \(^ヮ^)/ ]
"... Sure."
Trying to ignore the gruesome implications of what could happen if his secluded cultivation went wrong, along with the System's peculiar reaction, Shen Qingqiu sat down on a jade stone bed, the surface underneath him smooth and polished, a notable contrast to the gaping gouges left along the cavern walls. He exhaled slowly, closed his eyelids, and attempted to follow the cultivating methods he had read about in a couple of manuals before coming here to the caves.
After a few minutes of silence, he sighed in irritation and blinked his eyes open. "What."
The System's screen, which had been floating in front of his face for quite some time, seemed to glow a little at its Host's attention.
[ Wow, Host's instincts must be incredible! How did he know this System was in front of him? (•̀ᴗ•́)و ]
"The original goods' senses were pretty keen, even though he was a total dirtbag," admitted Shen Qingqiu. "Too bad I get to use them instead. Anyway, what is it?"
The System's blue light flickered a little, before speaking up again. [ Host hasn't forgotten that he is now allowed to manually disable the OOC function, has he? (￣▽￣) ]
"Oh, right." Shen Qingqiu visibly perked up at this, his eyes flashing with excitement at the thought of being liberated from his role. Finally, after days of impersonating the scum villain, he was ready to toss that original personality into the deepest pits of hell and go straight to thigh-hugging! "How do I turn it off?"
A little bit of text appeared on the System's screen, the words 'OOC FEATURE' typed out at the top in glowing white letters. Below them, two little rectangles popped up, one green and one red.
[ The green box turns the OOC function on, and the red box turns it off. Now, go ahead, Host! Get rid of that horrendous personality! \(^ヮ^)/ ]
Without a single moment of hesitation, Shen Qingqiu slammed his fist onto the red box and watched eagerly as a loading icon popped up on the display. Yes, he knew he could click the option with his mind, but it was more dramatic this way! This moment deserved some cinematic effect!
In no time at all, the loading icon was replaced with words. Glorious, magnificent words.
[ OOC feature disabled successfully. Restrictions can now be dismissed. ]
"Yes!" Shen Qingqiu couldn't help the wide grin that spread across his face as he stood up from his stone bed and stretched his arms. "I'm free at last!"
As he gave himself a congratulatory pat on the back, he didn't notice the color on the System's screen start to shift, slowly morphing from its original crisp blue to a light green.
"Hopefully, it's not too late to start farming B-Points by sucking up to Binghe, right?" The Peak Lord turned to face one of the cavern walls, tapping his chin in thought as he planned the future measures he would take to get on the protagonist's good side. "You know what, I should probably get him out of that old woodshed first, it's one storm away from collapsing in on itself. Ah, but if I move him into the disciples' barracks, Ming Fan and the other kids might end up bullying him even more. What do you think, Sys—?"
[ Ugh, finally. I thought I was going to die a second time with that dreadful OOC feature in place. ]
The smile on Shen Qingqiu's face froze in place, and his eyes widened at the System's words. Its tone—no, its entire voice—was wrong. The Google Translate-like effect was gone completely; in its place was a real voice, a real human voice, cold and snappy. Elegance and irritation seemed to blend into one, giving off the vibes of a lofty immortal master who was constantly pissed.
But the only person who fit that bill exactly was—
Shit.
Ever so slowly, inch by inch, Shen Qingqiu turned around to face the System's blue screen. Only, the screen wasn't blue anymore. Now glowing a soft bamboo green, flickering from dim to bright in poorly concealed fury, an emoticon avatar popped up onto the display, its little eyes narrowing as it stared right into his own.
Ah, that would've been adorable, Shen Qingqiu thought to himself, looking on with a resigned sort of dread. His throat felt dry and scratchy, and a bead of sweat trickled down the back of his neck.
It really would have been adorable, if it weren't for the fact that the original goods was currently burning holes into his head with that scorching glower of his.
"... Are you fucking kidding me."
[ Greetings, USER 002. Or perhaps I should say, Peerless Cucumber. ]
Shen Qingqiu—the real one—'s emoticon avatar smiled coldly, maximum hostility directed towards the transmigrator through the screen. The murderous intent behind the former Peak Lord's glare was frigid enough to freeze all of the Abyss and its mother in one go.
[ This master hopes you had fun making an offensive mockery of his life and living as an utter fraud for the past few days, because when I'm done with you, you won't be living at all, Shen Yuan. ]