Chapter Text
untitled chat
Tuesday, 1:15pm
(Scott Summers has added 10 numbers to “untitled chat”.)
(Scott Summers has named the chat “xavier’s poli sci!”)
Scott Summers: Hi everyone, this is Scott from PS3196. This is the groupchat we were all talking about during class. Can everyone respond with their names so that we know who each number is?
???: No problem! This is Jean 😊Thanks for organizing the groupchat, Scott!
???: kurt here hiiiiii!
???: Ororo. I look forward to working with you all this term.
???: logan
???: hey y’all, this is anna-marie! thought i’d text with the accent so y’all can recognize me XD
???: I’m Hank 🤓Third year double major in Physics 🧪and Political Science 📘. Excited for this semester! 🎉
???: bobbyyyy can’t wait to panic over deadlines w u guys xo
???: Warren Worthington III 👍
???: je m’appelle remy!
???: BRO YOUR NAME IS REMY AND YOU’RE FRENCH??????
???: this is jubilee btw!!!!!!
summers the bummer
(members: Bobby Drake and Scott Summers)
Wednesday, 1:21pm
iceicebaby: u made that chat so u could get jean’s number didn’t u
scottydoesntknow: Fuck off
iceicebaby: that’s not a no!!!!!
scottydoesntknow: I WILL block you again
iceicebaby: >:)
xavier’s poli sci!
Wednesday, 1:22pm
(Bobby Drake changed Scott Summers’s name to scottydoesntknow.)
(Bobby Drake changed Bobby Drake’s name to iceicebaby.)
Jubilee: NICE
(Jubilee changed Jubilee’s name to sparky.)
Kurt Wagner: !!!
(Kurt Wagner changed Logan’s name to shortking.)
(Logan changed Kurt Wagner’s name to kurtwanker.)
kurtwanker: :(
sparky: WAITTTTT
(sparky changed Remy Le Beau’s name to remyratatouille.)
remyratatouille: mon ami
remyratatouille: i love it
sparky: YAYYYY
Hank McCoy : I’m confused 🤔
sparky: dw!!! you’ll get your nickname soon!!!
Hank McCoy: Sounds good! 😃👍
summers the bummer
Wednesday, 1:27pm
scottydoesntknow: BOBBY.
iceicebaby: WHAT
iceicebaby: R U ALLERGIC TO FUN SCOTT
scottydoesntknow: This is a serious class!
iceicebaby: ur just worried im embarrassing u
scottydoesntknow: No, I just think nicknames like these are unprofessional in an academic setting
iceicebaby: oh my godddddd please schedule an appt to get that stick out of ur ass
xavier’s poli sci!
Wednesday, 1:28pm
Jean Grey: I love this
(Jean Grey changed Jean Grey’s name to jncojean.)
scottydoesntknow: Definitely agree. Good to remember we’re peers instead of businessmen.
jncojean: Exactly!!
summers the bummer
Wednesday, 1:30pm
iceicebaby: LMAOOOOOOO
iceicebaby: YOU FUCKING SIMP
iceicebaby: I CANT ADLFJSDLJSDLJDS YOU MET HER O N C E
scottydoesntknow: I. Hate you
iceicebaby: but not the nicknames huh
scottydoesntknow: Blocked
untitled chat
(members: Jubilee and Kurt Wagner)
Wednesday, 2:03 pm
Jubilee: heyyyy this is jubilee from poli sci!!!
Kurt: omg hi!!
Kurt: what’s up??
Jubilee: ok so here’s my thought
Jubilee: class without friends 🤢🤢🤢
Jubilee: class with friends 🤩🤩🤩
Jubilee: soooooo do you wanna be poli sci buddies???
Kurt: ahhhhh ja!!!! i’d love that
Kurt : we could have study sessions!!
Jubilee: DUDEEEEEE
(Jubilee changed the name of the chat to “academic weapons 🔥”)
Jubilee: speaking of have you started the reading yet
Kurt: naur
Jubilee: SLAYYYY me neither 🙏
gentlemen prefer twinks
Wednesday, 2:03pm
nepobaby: Obsessed with Scott asking for everyone’s names like he doesn’t know half of us already
iceicebaby: REAL
iceicebaby: wait i wanna shit talk with an audience gimme one sec
nepobaby: Werk etc
barbershop quartet
(members: Bobby Drake, Hank McCoy, Scott Summers, and Warren Worthington III)
Wednesday, 2:04pm
iceicebaby: everyone point at scott and laugh
nepobaby: HAHAHAHAHHAHAA 👆
beastmode: 🤣🤣🤣
scottydoesntknow: 😐
beastmode: Wait, why are we laughing at Scott?
iceicebaby: bc he’s a simp
nepobaby: And a poser
scottydoesntknow: GUYS???
nepobaby: Me when I pretend I don’t know anyone to get Jean’s number
scottydoesntknow: STOP
beastmode: Ah, I see.
beastmode: Speaking of the chat, I wasn’t confused about the nicknames, I was confused as to why Bobby didn’t give Warren and I our nicknames! 😧
nepobaby: HEY YEAH
nepobaby: TRAITOR
iceicebaby: listen scott can’t pull off this ruse all by himself ok
scottydoesntknow: Bobby istg
iceicebaby: as far as jean is concerned we’ve never met
scottydoesntknow: Oh my god
beastmode: That doesn’t seem wise…
nepobaby: But hear me out
nepobaby: It’s entertaining and I’m bored
iceicebaby: this is why ur my favorite warwar
nepobaby: NO.
beastmode: Why not just ask her out, Scott?
scottydoesntknow: I mean I’ve only met her once
iceicebaby: and yet we’re here
scottydoesntknow: I’M JUST SAYING
scottydoesntknow: I’m going to give it some more time to see if my initial feelings actually prove true
nepobaby: huh
scottydoesntknow: Literally stfu Warren last time you went out with a guy you panicked after a week and told him things were moving too fast
scottydoesntknow: And you hadn’t even kissed
nepobaby: ALLEGEDLY ‼️
iceicebaby: yurrrr he’s got u there warry baby
nepobaby: Worse somehow
beastmode: Scott has a point, but just because Warren has commitment issues doesn’t mean you, Scott, don’t have issues with trusting your feelings.
iceicebaby: OH??????
scottydoesntknow: HANK???????
beastmode: Just ask her out and see what happens! It’s perfectly normal to have romantic and/or sexual feelings for a person after spending two hours with them in class.
nepobaby: KLJSDFLKJDSLFDLSJF
scottydoesntknow: Except that’s INSANE behavior, Hank
scottydoesntknow: She’s going to think I’m a creep
iceicebaby: well that’s a little far
scottydoesntknow: AND! It’s probably best at the start of the semester not to rush into a relationship
scottydoesntknow: I still don’t know what my course load is going to look like
nepobaby: Babe…
beastmode: Those are valid reasons, but you and I both know you’re making excuses.
beastmode: Not blaming you for that, of course. But I am concerned that you’ll keep making those excuses until we’ve graduated.
iceicebaby: DAMN
scottydoesntknow: ….I hate it when you’re right
beastmode: So you hate me all the time?
nepobaby: GO OFF
iceicebaby: GET IT HANK
scottydoesntknow: Tell you what
scottydoesntknow: I PROMISE
scottydoesntknow: I will ask Jean out before November
beastmode: Sounds good!
nepobaby: ANDDDD if you don’t, you have to go back home with me for Christmas because I know damn well you don’t have plans and I refuse to be alone in that hellhole
iceicebaby: AND! u have to go clubbing with me on november 1st as punishment
scottydoesntknow: …
scottydoesntknow: Fine
iceicebaby: YESSSSSSSS
iceicebaby: now that that’s over….hank bby can u come help me understand wtf is going on with this reading 😩😩😩
beastmode: I’m On my way!
iceicebaby: i change my mind hank is my favorite
nepobaby: THIS IS SO SICK
alleged furries
(members: Kurt and Logan)
Thursday, 9:36am
kurtwanker: logan
kurtwanker: logan
kurtwanker: logannnnnnnn
kurtwanker: logan logan logan logan
10:09am
kurtwanker: LOGAN
kurtwanker: LOGI BEAR
shortking: what do you want kurt
kurtwanker: hello to you too
kurtwanker: do you wanna come get coffee with jubilee and i???
shortking: who
kurtwanker: from poli sci!!
kurtwanker: with the bright yellow jacket
shortking: oh
kurtwanker: pleaseeeeee
kurtwanker: i’ll buy you kombucha
shortking: very funny
kurtwanker: hehehe
kurtwanker: whatever you want then
shortking: sigh
shortking: yeah sure i’ll go
kurtwanker: WOOHOO you’re driving
shortking: excuse me
set fire to the rain (adele)
(members: Ororo Munroe and Jean Grey)
Thursday, 11:14am
jncojean: Hey! Feel like coffee at 11:30?
orororoyourboat: Always
jncojean: Awesome! I can pick you up??
orororoyourboat: Sounds good!
untitled chat
Thursday, 11:39am
Jean Grey: Hey, it’s Jean from Xavier’s poli sci class! I’m here with Ororo, do you mind if we join your study session?
Jean Grey: Totally cool if not, also!
Logan: hey jean
Logan: yeah go for it, I’ll grab some chairs
Jean Grey: Thank you sm!
untitled chat
Thursday, 5:02pm
(Jubilee added 4 numbers to “untitled chat”.)
(Jubilee named the chat “coffee gang ☕ 💪💪”)
(Jubilee changed their name to sparky)
sparky: hey gworls
sparky: pitching weekly coffee 👀👀👀
Kurt Wagner: JASSSSSSS
(Kurt Wagner changed their name to bamf)
(Logan changed bamf’s name to kurtwanker)
kurtwanker: can’t have shit in detroit
(kurtwanker changed Logan’s name to shortking)
(Jean Grey changed their name to jncojean)
(jncojean changed Ororo’s name to orororoyourboat)
jncojean: I’m super down for weekly coffee! (And studying I assume)
orororoyourboat: Nerd
orororoyourboat: But yes absolutely, I had fun with you all today
shortking: not gonna study every week but i’ll have coffee
kurtwanker: not kombucha 🥺
shortking: i’m laughing so hard rn.
orororoyourboat: BRUTAL
sparky: waitttt what’s the deal with the kombucha logan
jncojean: ^^^
kurtwanker: logan i see you typing don’t you DARE this is my story to tell
sparky: oop
kurtwanker: ok so logan is a big beer fan right
sparky: come on denver colorado coded 😩
kurtwanker: EXACTLY
kurtwanker: but anyway we’re getting drinks one night and logan has an INSANELY high tolerance
kurtwanker: so he leaves to go to the bathroom and while he’s gone. i pull out the kombucha i’ve had stowed away in my bag for the past two hours
jncojean: Kurt what 😭
kurtwanker: it is lemon and ginger kombucha from the farmer’s market. it is vinegary. it is the gladiator in the arena against bad gut health
orororoyourboat: Oh god
kurtwanker: and our lovely friend logan usually survives exclusively off of beers, beef jerky, and day-old room temperature water
sparky: come on depression meal!!!
shortking: 😐
kurtwanker: needless to say he cannot handle any flavor beyond the color brown
kurtwanker: so while he’s in the bathroom i, LIKE A THIEF IN THE NIGHT, order an empty glass from the bartender and fill it with the kombucha
kurtwanker: and i hide the real beer under my seat
jncojean: RISKY MOVE
kurtwanker: oh my shoes were Wet
kurtwanker: but it was a small price to pay for logan’s reaction
kurtwanker: pure agony. the flames of hell across every inch of his face
kurtwanker: this man barely emotes but that day??? OH BOY DID HE
shortking: IT HURT
orororoyourboat: H o w
shortking: it was so sour and so carbonated
shortking: like being attacked by small angry lemons
shortking: my tongue didn’t recover for a week
jncojean: 😭😭😭
shortking: i now drink only from my own flask
shortking: kurt will never poison me again
sparky: the dramatics 💀
orororoyourboat: I respect it honestly
orororoyourboat: Though I am concerned for your gut health now
jncojean: Same
jncojean: Wait this gives me an idea!!
jncojean: Each week we bring Logan a new food to try!
sparky: YOOOOOOOOOOOO
kurtwanker: jean you’re a genius
kurtwanker: JEANIUS
orororoyourboat: Love
(orororoyourboat changed jncojean’s name to jeanius)
jeanius: Also Logan we don’t actually have to do that if you’re not comfortable, I just thought it would be fun!
shortking: nah it’s no problem
shortking: i’m fine eating nasty shit
shortking: car pay diyum or whatever
sparky: PARDON
orororoyourboat: HELP
shortking: what
kurtwanker: LKJSDLFJSFLKSDJLFD LOGAN
jeanius: I’m–
orororoyourboat: Logan, the phrase is carpe diem, it’s Latin
shortking: oh
alleged furries
Thursday, 5:15pm
kurtwanker: ok are you upset and or embarrassed be fr
shortking: no i’m fine
kurtwanker: logan 🔫
shortking: it’s a little embarrassing but i’m fine dw about it
kurtwanker: too late now be fr fr with me
shortking: i don’t know where i heard carpe diem
shortking: it’s just in my head
shortking: so
kurtwanker: i gotchu
coffee gang ☕ 💪💪
Thursday, 5:20pm
kurtwanker: okayyyyyy everyone be nice 🙄
kurtwanker: some of us went to public school
kurtwanker: and some of us went to public school in germany
sparky: REAL
sparky: my school didn’t even offer french like 💀
orororoyourboat: …To be honest I only know carpe diem because Jean made me watch Dead Poets’ Society
sparky: SAME
alleged furries
Thursday, 5:21pm
shortking: you and i both know you were raised in a circus
kurtwanker: and that’s a secret i’ll never tell
kurtwanker: xoxo
shortking: gossip girl
kurtwanker: JAAAAAA
untitled chat
Thursday, 5:22pm
Jean Grey: Hey, I’m sorry we made fun of you for not knowing how to spell carpe diem
Jean Grey: That was a shitty thing to do
Logan: nah dw about it
Logan: i know you didn’t mean anything by it
Jean Grey: Okay
Jean Grey: But lmk if you ever do get mad about it because I’ll repay you
Logan: ???
Jean Grey: You know through beer or something
Logan: ohhhh ok
Logan: thanks jean
Jean Grey: Np!
alleged furries
Thursday, 5:26pm
shortking: IMG.jpg
kurtwanker: AWWW SHE’S SO NICE
shortking: yeah
kurtwanker: i love jean
shortking: was that weird
kurtwanker: wdym bestie
shortking: the repaying thing
kurtwanker: i don’t think so???? if i had to guess i think she just has anxiety
shortking: true
kurtwanker: don’t stress about it logi bear
shortking: ugh
academic weapons 🔥
Thursday, 5:43pm
(Jubilee changed Kurt Wagner’s name to “kombuchaassassin”)
(Jubilee changed their name to “kurtswetshoes”)
kombuchaassassin: slay
kombuchaassassin: also while we’re here
kombuchaassassin: what are your thoughts on jean
kurtswetshoes: ok first of all love the cryptic energy
kurtswetshoes: second i love her!!! she’s so nice and friendly
kurtswetshoes: why??
kombuchaassassin: she apologized to logan about the carpe diem thing and it was very nice
kurtswetshoes: aw legend!
kombuchaassassin: but
kombuchaassassin: she said she’d repay logan for being mean with “like a beer or something”
kurtswetshoes: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
kurtswetshoes: i deffo see why we’re being cryptic now hehehehe
kurtswetshoes: do you think she likes him???
kombuchaassassin: idkkkkkkkkk
kombuchaassassin: but i could see it
kurtswetshoes: yeah i was also picking up on some Vibes from logan at coffee
kombuchaassassin: OKAY I’M SO GLAD YOU SAID IT BC I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING
kurtswetshoes: YOOOO SAME BRAIN
kombuchaassassin: obviously i don’t want to be planning or scheming yet bc it’s been A Day
kurtswetshoes: right right we love self-control
kombuchaassassin: exactly 😫
kombuchaassassin: but uh. petition to keep an eye on it
kurtswetshoes: SIGNED AND INITIALED
kombuchaassassin: JASSSSSSSSSS
kurtswetshoes: GOSSIPS 4 LIFE
kombuchaassassin: ALWAYS
barbershop quartet
Thursday, 6:07pm
nepobaby: GUESS WHO SAW JEAN AT WORK TODAY