Archive of Our Own ^beta

Lukas was sitting criss-cross on the roof of one of the urban stores in Beacontown, staring up at the dark blanket dotted with stars and whatnot. It looked like he was stargazing but judging by his body language, he was obviously out there for a different reason.

"I don't get it," he muttered as he rubbed his sore arm.

Jesse squinted his eyes in a mix of curiosity and suspicion. "Don't get what?" The question danced out of Jesse's mouth before he could even process it.

As a response, Lukas visibly flinched. "Wha?- Oh. It's just you, Jesse." 

"Well, thanks." Jesse jabbed playfully.

"No, I didn't mean it like that." Lukas sighed out.

Jesse walked up to him and sat as well, his expression suddenly strict. "Why are you out here again at, like, four in the morning?" Lukas had been staying up late--in some cases, he didn't sleep at all and would be almost passing out the next day--practically every night after the incident with the Blazerods in a different dimension. Jesse had noticed but every time he questioned it, Lukas brushed it off by saying he was working on his book and accidentally stayed up. Of course, Jesse didn't buy it. 

"So, how's your arm doing?" Jesse couldn't help but smirk at Lukas' sigh of relief.

"Eh, it really could be better, but I'll manage." Lukas kept eyeing the space between him and Jesse--which was barely a foot. He tensed up every time Jesse shuffled around or moved closer to him, causing him to rub against his arm and hiss out in pain.

"Hey, you okay? You keep getting defensive whenever I move around." Jesse gave him the squint-eyed 'I know something's up' look.

"Yeah, I--" Lukas paused, mentally arguing on whether or not he should spill out all his huddled up dark thoughts. "Look, can I tell you something?"

Jesse nodded. "Yeah, of course."

"Do you promise not to get upset, brush it off, nothing like that?" Lukas avoided eye contact with him, continuing to brush against his own arm.

"I promise, Lukas."

"'Kay. You remember Aiden, right?" 

"Of course I remember that asshole." Jesse scoffed.

"So, before I left their group, he did...things to me."

"...Things," Jesse repeated. He already didn't like the sound of whatever Lukas was about to say.

"Yeah. He'd...uhm, touch me weirdly whenever we were alone, and in certain ways, he'd show me things that I really didn't want to say, constantly call me...names," He shuddered. "And even twice, I think, he...forced himself onto me. And I let it happen." Jesse just stared in shock. Lukas' voice broke even at the end, and he started to shake a little.

"Sorry, Im just..." Stupid, he thought. "It's cold outside."

"I'm sorry, Lukas. I really am."

Lukas shook his head. "It's not your fault. I'm the one that let it happen--" 

Jesse cut him off by pulling him into a tight embrace. "Of course it isn't your fault. It would never be."

Lukas shut his eyes, barely feeling salty tears roll down his face one after another. He wrapped his arms around Jesse, waiting for his hands to jab him in his most sensitive parts, to press him against the cold floor and rip off his pants.

But it never happened.

"...Just to be clear, you told someone other than me, right?"

Lukas buried his head into Jesse's shoulder as he nodded. He wanted to stay like this forever. gayass.

"Yeah, I told Maya, but she just said 'okay' and left it like that. I don't really think she did anything about it, and she probably didn't care." Lukas thought before perking up.

"Oh, and Ivor. He gave me some great advice, actually."

Jesse pulled away, leaving his hands on Lukas' shoulders and staring right into his eyes.

"You went to Ivor?"