Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(The Chosen's POV)

“My name? That is not for you to know. You may call me, The Chosen. For I have been chosen to fight in the coming battle, defending this universe from the great evils seeking to destroy life as we know it. Or seriously inconvenience people. Whatever it is, sometimes I just help people. The universe doesn’t always need saving.”

I pause after completing my traditional starting stream speech, long bits of silence are the norm on my streams. I like that, it gives me time to think and takes off the pressure of always talking. While I like being funny and doing bits, it can be exhausting, especially after gaming for 4-6 hours. Still, I love this job. I get to pursue one of my passions while providing for my family.

I would love to say I’m married and have kids, but I’m embarrassed to say I’m 27, live with my parents, and don’t have plans on moving out anytime soon. My dad got cancer around the time I turned 20. At first, he was at the hospital but now that things have settled down, he lives at home. I take the fact he’s hung in there for the past seven years as a sign that things are looking up.

He and I are close, as I’m his primary care provider, while my mom has a well paying corporate job that pays the majority of our expenses. Youtube is my side hustle and I have to say my dad is my inspiration.

As my dad got sick, I shared my interest in video games with him. Soon he and I would bond over playing or talking about games. Eventually I started making videos to explain complicated games to him or streaming to entertain him when he didn’t have enough energy to play game together. What made it all extra special is being able to make extra money from all of that.

My other siblings have all moved out to do their own things. Still, they do all come around to give me a few days off every month or two. Taking care of my dad isn’t easy, it requires being on duty at all hours. If one of his machines goes off in the middle of the night, I’m the go to guy to deal with the situation. Whether that’s changing a filter or going to the emergency room. This means I very much appreciate when my siblings can give me time off.

Still, I don’t mind staying home and helping. I love my family. Plus moving out was never something that I wanted to do, living alone sounded depressing as hell. Here life’s predictable and when it’s not I can easily take action to fix the problem.

(Brianna's POV)

“Hello horny bitches! What’s up? It’s me Brianna Boho, your amazing beautiful slut! Today I’m doing a hot tub stream! Ooh! I was supposed to do this with Bryce, but unfortunately, so he’s not here today. So, we’re not talking about him. Because this stream is all about me! Ha, ha, slay.

Mods if you see any of Bryce’s usernames in chat, kick him.

Bryce, we need some space. After everything you did. We just need space…

Anyway, today’s stream is all about my amazing life…”

The next two or so hours I unwind and try to forget about Bryce. Who I don’t know what to think about. He’s hot and kinda sweet, but uber dumb and cheated on me. I just don’t know why him cheating on me, of all people, made me so upset. Maybe I feel dumb, like I should have expected that from him and acted accordingly.

I take this stream to make content I actually like, which is mostly me just taking a relaxing bath and scrolling different social media sites. First, I look at wlw Twitter, because women are hot, I’m bi, and I can.

Then I go to YouTube and watch some stuff I think my audience will like. Around hour two I think, fuck it, I’m going to watch something I’m going to enjoy. I head over to my favorite gaming content creator, The Chosen. He makes comedy gaming content by being some ridiculous gamer kid caricature while playing different video games. Some of the games he plays are Halo, Fortnight, and Skyrim.

His branding is slick, but his production seems fairly low budget for his subscriber count, not that it matters. His content slaps. It’s so funny and showcases the games he plays. Which he’s really good at. Plus, his marketing skills are top notch. Also, his growth story is so sweet. I’m a fan. And maybe a little turned on by him. Not sure why though, maybe how much I respect his work? Or maybe how buff he is. Yeah, it’s probably that.

“So, what do you think chat?” I say after the video. I’m tired and starting to wrap up stream.

“He’s mysterious and kinda hot. Did you see his arms?” I say, feeling a big blush as I do, which is unusual. I say that kind of shit all the time and never bat an eye, but this time it feels different.

Was that disrespectful?

Where did that intrusive thought come from? I think as I dry off and end stream.

As the computer screens around the room go black and everything shuts down, I come down from my streaming high. A wave of tiredness hits me.

Amanda and Tommy, my two tech/camera operator/channel managers debrief me on the stream, which went ok, but not great. I’m tired.

“Brianna, go rest. You need to take care of you to uphold your body and brand.” Amanda says. She always knows how to motivate me. I know she’s right.

Back in my room I keep thinking about today’s stream. My plans and how I had to throw them out the window. How I’m always doing that and how much it stresses me out. I put on a warm and soft romper in a beautiful purple wine color, it’s my favorite for summers when I’m not working.

Not thinking I go to YouTube and tap on The Chosen’s channel and then find his email. Then I send him an email.

Dear Chosen,

I am a fan of your work and am looking to get into making gaming content. Would you like to do a collab? What games would you recommend for someone looking to start making gaming content?

Thanks for your time,

Brianna Boho

It’s only an hour later after I’ve had a full meal and I’m getting ready to fall asleep that realize what I’ve done. I just emailed my favorite content creator and asked for a collab. For no reason. Our audiences don’t overlap. There’s no reason we should be collabing. What the hell did I just do?

Chapter Text

(The Chosen POV)

When I received a short simple email about a collab from Brianna Boho I was skeptical. Who was this? Could I trust them? After a bit of research, I was still skeptical. Why would someone like her reach out to me? She did say she wanted to get into gaming content, so I thought, why not. I decided to bite and give her some advice. It might feel nice to mentor a new gaming content creator.

Hello Brianna Boho,

If you want to start making gaming content, I’d recommend playing games you enjoy. Whatever games you like and already play and trying games in genres you like. I see you’ve been a successful content creator on the vlogging and reaction side of the internet, maybe to ease your audience into your gaming content try to blend gaming into the content you already make.

Good luck in your endeavors,

The Chosen

Over the next two months Brianna and I end up emailing back and forth several times. I realize I’ve found her old content sad, but amusing. Now after seeing her first few gaming videos I see a new more confident person who seems to be finding her footing in content creation.

I love talking video games with her. It feels similar to talking with my dad about video games. At some point during those two months my dad catches me smiling at my computer and asks what’s captured my eye. I laugh and tell him about Brianna, this content creator shifting their brand to gaming. He laughs and insinuates I have romantic+ feelings for her. I chuckle back and hit him with the, I’m ace and feelings like that don’t come easy for me.

“Well then son, I’m betting you two will at least be best of friends before the year is up. I haven’t seen you smile that much since you were ten.” A depressing comment from my dad, but fair. I was a very depressed teen and life after teendom hasn’t been a walk in the park either.

With the spurring on of my dad I decide to try become friends with Brianna. I invite her to be discord friends and soon enough we’ve had our first collab. Then another, then another. And the videos from them are fire. Our online personalities’ chemistry is electric comedy gold. They are such polar opposites but play off each other so well and is just so much fun to make.

One night Bri and I are on call and we have the coolest of exchanges.

“Hey Chosen, I’ve been wondering, would you be interested in doing an in person collab sometime? I know you keep your identity under wraps, but I’d love to have an excuse to meet you in person. If you’re comfortable with that. If not no big deal.” Brianna asks me one night.

“I don’t know.” I say,

“If we live close enough, I’d be down, but with my family situation I wouldn’t be able to travel out of my city.”

“Ah, yeah, your dad. Well, I live in (blank part of) LA if that’s close to you.” She offers.

“Ha, ha, no way. The universe wants us to meet or something, because I also live in that part of LA.” I say genuinely surprised.

“No fucking way! Ok, ok what’s the best place to get an unhealthy snack around here?” Bri says excitedly,

“Dude, defiantly Taco Bell at (street) and (street). That shit slaps even though I always regret it after.”

“I shit you not, that’s also my favorite place. No cap.”

“Really? I see you’re picking up on the gamer lingo, but what’s your go to order?”

(Brianna POV)

I’m sitting in a Taco Bell, with a Mexican Pizza with a Frozen Baja Blast. I have no make-up on, have my hair tied up, and am in sweats and a baggy sweater. I’m trying to look as casual as possible. I haven’t run into anyone who’s recognized me yet.

I nervously pour the Baja Blast over my pizza, as I always do, and dig in. As I do so I hear a familiar voice behind me. It is as if the person behind me, chose, to speak that way.

“So, I see you came to the rendezvous point.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I say smiling as I look up to see the man behind The Chosen. He has a messy flop of dirty blond hair with light skin and deep blue eyes. He’s wearing a t-shirt that looks like an ad except it’s for limes. Not a company, not a brand, just limes.

He sits down at the same booth table as me. In one hand is a box of Doritos Locos Tacos, in the other a fountain drink. As he sits, he eyes my choice of pizza topping warily.

“Spencer! So good to finally meet you in person.” I say,

“Same.” He says before devouring his tacos.

I start eating my Baja pizza, but before long I can tell Spencer is very confused about my pizza.

“I’m sorry, this may come off as rude, but what the fuck is that?” Spencer asks pointing to my pizza.

“A Baja Blasted Pizza.” I say, smirking like it’s obvious what this is.

“That looks disgusting.” Spencer pauses before asking,

“Can I try some?” At this moment I start laughing, he joins in and we just giggle over our food.

I cut him a small slushied slice and hand it to him. He makes a funny face when he bites into it.

“Why do you do that? It’s so bad!” He says, grimacing,

“Why did I do that? I hate the Baja Blast.” He adds after wiping his mouth with a napkin. In jest I say,

“You hate Baja Blasts? Are you kidding me? They’re the best things since sliced bread!”

“Ah, no way. They are disgusting and the worst thing since sliced bread.” He says

“No way!”

“Hell yeah!”

“Well, I don’t give a shit about your opinion. They’re the worst.”

“Oh yeah? How about I Baja Blast you to smithereens! See how much you like them after that?!”

“You play Smithereens?” Spencer retorts out of the blue, breaking the tension.

“What the fuck is that? That’s not even related to what we’re talking about!” I shout in confusion.

There’s a breath of silence between us where we both look mad, but then through his glare Spencer starts smiling. As I’m processing the situation I realize how stupid our argument is and I start smiling too. Then we both burst out laughing like nobody’s business. The empty, late morning shop ringing with our laughter.

“What the fuck did we just argue about?” Spencer asks through full mouth giggles, gasping for breath as we settle.

“My stupid choice of food and how you totally hate it.” I say through my own calming laughter.

He takes a deep breath, releasing a few more giggles,

“Hey, I’m Spencer, nice to finally meet you. Hope that argument wasn’t too intense for you, but that was fun.” He says with a goofy smile on his face. He holds out his hand for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you Spencer. I’m Brianna, but you can call me Bri.” I say, shaking his hand. There is something about this goofy guy that I just can’t shake. His smile makes me want to be around him more.

Chapter Text

(B POV)

“Do you want to grab onto my arm when you get scared?” Chosen asks,

“Sure, sounds good.” I say as Olivia and Tommy finish setting up the lighting for filming,

“If you want you can act all into me and stuff. Your audience will probably eat that stuff up.” Chosen says. I giggle at this thought.

“Alright, you asked for it, strong guy.” I say poking him in his seriously beefy arms, as they bulge around the sleeves of his three-wolf moon shirt. Together we laugh at this and the metal mesh bralette I have on over my orange and black crop top jangles loudly.

“Alright, settle.” Amanda says, signaling to Tommy,

“Ready?” Tommy says. We signal ready, the clapper board hits, and we’re off.

Chosen and I introduce ourselves. We establish we both have no fear, and right around the time he introduces, ‘the freaking hellscape known as Poppy Playtime,” I genuinely start to get nervous.

I love horror games, but I am a total wimp when it comes to playing them. I still love it, but I love it by screaming my head off when I see something scary.

“Oh no, I’m getting so scared.” I say grabbing on to Chosen’s arm and chest a little. Spencer doesn’t flinch or pull away. He’s now The Chosen. Locked into the game and his character. That or he’s also terrified.

“I thought you said you didn’t feel fear.” He says calmly.

I giggle nervously and pull away.

“You’re so right. I was just like ‘I’m scared protect me.’ You know, in a slutty way.” I say,

“Yeah right.” He says in the Chosen voice.

The game continues. After a while I forget we are on camera and am just into the game. I jump scare Chosen and it’s so funny. I swear he jumped an inch, while sitting. I haven’t had that much fun in so long. Even getting laid at a party couldn’t quite top this.

(C POV)

I’m in the zone playing the game when Huggy starts chasing us. I rush into the conveyer vents. I start getting nervous as Brianna also starts getting nervous. She seems have trouble maintaining her horny aloof persona and starts voicing her fears.

“Go this way! Look out! Run run run!” she yells. Which I apricate as I’m also starting to freak out, but knowing she’s here with me makes it easier to keep going.

As I’m trying to get away a door shuts in my face and I get turned around. Suddenly I’m headed toward the blue long-legged menace, Huggy.

“AH! Why are we going toward him! Babe?” Brianna shouts before grabbing onto my arm. The word shocks me, but I keep going. Once I’m a ways away from Huggy, though they are still chasing me, I finally have enough of my brain to respond.

“You just called me babe, that was weird, anyways…” Is all I can think to say while running away and navigating the conveyer vents.

After that chase I’m so relieved that it’s over I completely forget about what was said. Brianna and I finish this chapter in the game. We celebrate afterwards and she complements me on finishing the chapter. Which I can’t help but smile about.

“You were really brave too.” I tell Bri.

That night, as I’m trying to fall asleep, Brianna’s words come to come back to me. They echo through my mind stirring up fondness and nerves.

“Why are we going toward him! Babe?”

Babe

Babe…

What could she mean by, babe?

A warm gentle fondness bubbles up inside me for Bri. But my logic kicks in and forces me to consider all the logistics of what these feelings could mean. I’m just not sure any type of relationship beyond friendship would work for us. We are so opposite. She’s so sexual, by nature, while I’m, well, not…

Still, things could work out. We’d just need to communicate a lot. Also, I’m super sleep deprived right now. It’s probably just that causing me to get attracted to her, and everyone else. I’ll sleep on it and will probably forget about the whole thing by morning.

In the mean time I indulge myself in the warm fuzzy thoughts of Bri. Her smile, her laughter, the time we spend together, and how she never fails to make me laugh. From past experience, I know letting myself explore these feelings has helped me let go of them before.

There’s a magic in letting yourself dream as you drift off to sleep. But boy was I wrong that I’d be able to easily let go of these feelings. It’s would be months since she slipped and said babe to me yet my memory and feelings spawned from that moment would not fade.

Is this a crush or do I just really like being her friend?

Whether this is a crush or not, I just really love being friends with Bri. I think as my mind happily fades from consciousness into sleep.

Chapter Text

(Bri POV)

I’m distraught and laying in bed. It had been a few months since Spencer and I released our first collab. In that time we have played the next Poppy Playtime game, played a bunch of video and board games together, and been sponsored by several game companies.

Today had been the release of Poppy Playtime Chapter 3. Which Spencer and I made a big deal about on our social in preparation to do a live stream. It was supposed to be a day of celebration and excitement. After all we were successful and in a turn of luck I was being perceived as something other than a sex figure. Yet this conversation from earlier today keeps playing in my head on repeat.

“So, what’s this whole no fap thing you keep going on about?” I ask Spencer, as he plays the game.

“It’s how I gained my powers and was able to become chosen.” He says,

“So, like, what does fap mean. Explain it to me like I’m really stupid.” I say coyly,

“Fapping is another way of saying masturbating.” He says in the most straightforward and serious voice, before making his I’m trying not to laugh face and then promptly cracking up. All the while he’s running through a hall into a moldy dorm room with lots of bunk beds and trying to solve the puzzle.

“So, wait, you gain powers from not masturbating?” I say surprised,

“Yeah, and not having sex in general. I’m actually kinda an anti-sex, person, but I don’t mind what other people are into. Sex is just not my thing.” He says. I give Spencer a funny face, something inside of me shifts. I’m surprised, but also annoyed? Worried? I’ve heard the ‘no fap’ phrase tossed around in The Chosen community as a joke, but I’ve never heard this before.

“Actually, and I’ve been meaning to say this to all you, and all you chatters as well. To everyone who speculated that I might be using no fap as a way to hint at me being asexual, you were right…” Spencer rambled on more as Chosen and there was a lot of ace support in the chat. Plus rude stuff I noticed before the mods deleted it.

“Wait, so, you’re asexual? Like, as in, you don’t like sexual stuff?” I say in disbelief and worry. Hopefully how I feel isn’t coming through in my voice.

“Ah, not like that. I just don’t feel sexual connection to anything. I actually don’t really get what sexual attraction is. That’s it.” Spencer responds. His voice still has a Chosen touch to it but is more genuine and grounded.

“So, you’ve never, like, been horny in your life? Like ever?” I ask,

“Yeah, basically. – Oh God!” He yells as Huggy crawls out of a hole and starts coming after us. The scene in my mind devolves into us yelling and running as it fades and loops back to the beginning.

When we had wrapped up shooting, I had felt awful. I claimed period cramps and went to the bathroom. When I came out everyone had left. Amanda had left a note on the table, something about eating and not worrying about editing the footage until I felt better. Not feeling hungry I went straight to bed and still haven’t felt any better.

My phone sings a short ditty, alerting me to a text from Tommy.

T: Amanda told me to tell you to go eat something

Go Eat Something.

I can also tell something is up with you, you don’t have to tell me, just make sure you take care of yourself and eventually tell someone what’s up

Good luck girl ✨

I shut off my phone. Tommy is right. My stomach ache and now migraine aren’t going to go away if I refuse to eat. I drag myself to the kitchen and make myself some ramen. The simple motions and familiar process of cooking calms me down. When the food is ready I feel like my head and stomach have calmed enough for me to eat.

While eating my mind keeps going in circles. I realize it comes down to the fact I’m unsure what the word asexual means. I have a vague definition of it I heard of years ago when I first started looking into what LGBTQ stuff was. But back then I was more looking for information on being bisexual.

After eating most of my ramen I go look up the definition of asexual.

a·sex·u·al

/āˈsekSH(əw)əl/

adjective

1. experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone. "Murphy, who has never married, considers himself asexual"

2. BIOLOGY
   (of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes. "each polyp is capable of budding new polyps though asexual reproduction in spring"

noun

a person who experiences no sexual feelings or desires, or who is not sexually attracted to anyone.

(Definition from Oxford Languages, via Google)

I read and reread the definition trying to make sense of it. Trying to figure out what it means. “Can an asexual person fall in love?” Is under Google’s ‘People also ask’ section. I click on that and start reading more. My heart is pounding. With each beat I feel the pulse drawing me to find out more.

I zip around the internet getting more and more information trying desperately to understand. Asexual people don’t experience sexual attraction or they experience it rarely or they might sometimes experience. Romantic attraction is unrelated to their understanding of sexual attraction, and they may or may not have that too.

My head hits the table. My brain can barely string thoughts together at this point. It’s 3am and I’m still awake. Not sure what else to do, I switch over to discord and text Spencer.

Chapter Text

(C POV)
I wake up to a bunch of texts from Bri. It’s a string of texts asking about comfortability and romance. I note they came in around 3am and chuckle.

BriannaurHo: Hey, I read a bunch about asexuality, are you sex repulsed? I’m like really off handedly sexual and I really didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, also do you experience romantic attraction? I heard some people do some don’t and I’m just really confused, I guess maybe I’m not as chill about this as I’d like to be, I’m just really confused (today at 3:10am)

Idk

Ah sorry I asked, you have no need to tell me anything, I’m just a way to nosey girl who want to know if she has a chance

BriannaurHo: To get to know you better! (today at 3:16am)

I’m embarrassed to say this didn’t stick out to me at all. Not even the ‘girl who wants to know if she has a chance’ line with the quick ‘to get to know you’ cover up after. This kind of stuff with from Brianna is supper common. She’s always looking for approval from anyone she knows.

TheChosen11: Hey, not sex repulsed. I’m more extremely neutral to it, to the point I don’t see it and will often completely not get jokes about sexual concepts I haven’t heard of. In terms of your comments, it’s all good. If they made me uncomfortable, I wouldn’t keep making videos with you and we wouldn’t be as close of friends as we are. Also, I would have said something by now if it did make me uncomfortable. Still, feel free to ask me if a comment is too sexual or not, tho I’m not that great a judge of that as that stuff just doesn’t bother me. I think allo* people get more bothered than I do about that stuff, lol (today at 12:03pm)

(*allo: prefix for allosexual or alloromantic, person who experiences sexual or romantic attraction respectively)

With that I sent off the text and didn’t look at my phone. The rest of the day was busy. I needed to take care of my father and really grind on editing. The live stream Brianna and I did yesterday had comedy gold in it and I had ideas on how to make it into a banger YouTube video or two.

It wasn’t until that evening after my dad had fallen asleep that I looked over the texts again and understood. Wait. Bri? What? I thought, No, it can’t be. That would be silly. She’s not attracted to like that… Is she?

----------------------------------------------------

The next day I got an invitation to VidCon. This excited me so much for a while I totally forgot about last night’s dilemma.

I immediately text Bri the news.

TheChosen11 : Yo! Bri! I just got invited to VidCon!!!

I can’t freeking believe it!!!

BriannaurHo : No fucking way! Congrats!

Wait, let me check my email…

Yo! I also got an invite!

TheChosen11: Sick dude! Mind if we call?

Bri immediately calls me.

“Yaaaaaaaass!” Bri yells as soon as her face blinks on the screen,

“Hell yeah!” I say excitedly.

“Dude! I’m so fucking proud of you. I know you only recently started to pop off, so it’s great to see you get recognized for your hard work.” She says,

“Hey thanks, and congrats yourself. I know you’ve had your issues with TOS and getting banned, but I’m really proud you were able to recover from that. You work hard too, and I’d say you’re one of the main reasons I’m going this year.” I say,

“Ha, ha, thanks.” Bri says nervously. Then she says nothing. My excitement turns to concern.

“Hey, Bri, you good?”

“What? Yeah, ah sorry. Got lost in my thoughts, ha, ha. Now stop being so fucking nice to me! You’re supposed to be sarcastic and stuff.” she says jokingly, brushing off the awkward moment,

“Ha, ha. Can’t take a compliment, can ya? Well, you’re just the best too, your music, your TikTok’s, your comedy.” I say as a genuine complement, but knowing full well that it will make Bri more bashful. I realize I’m blushing super hard. Hope she can’t tell, because my camera’s on.

Bri splutters before quickly recovering.

“Of course I am. I’m just the best… Ah fuck, I can’t even joke about it right now. Stop complementing me! You did great and it’s all your fault.” She says, at first filled with fake confidence before breaking into her genuine voice.

“I don’t think I’m going to VidCon.” Bri blurts out, before with drawing into herself and curling up into a ball.

“Oh, why? Don’t like your fans?” I ask.

“No, no, it’s not that. I just don’t want to see my ex again. He’s going to be there. We broke up a few months ago and I’m… I’m… Not sure I want to go.” Anger flashes through me. This man is causing Bri to not want to celebrate her accomplishments and to not be able to connect with both other creators and her fans.

I take a breath before saying anything, not wanting my anger to come out when I spoke.
“Bri. If he wasn’t there, would you go?” I ask with intensity. She takes a moment to think about it,

“Yeah. Yeah. I’d be there in a heartbeat if I knew he wasn’t going to be there.”

“Well, let’s see if we can make that happen. I’m sure you could…” I go into brainstorming mode for how to keep him away. Which devolves into us making jokes to each other.

“You know what? I’ll go. Fuck that guy! He’s not running my life!” Bri says angrily, before offering a dare.

“But, just ‘cause, convince me. Why should I go?” She says giving me this stare I think in meant to be sultry, but I just find adorable.

I make a pleading bashful soft boy face.

“Pwease, pwease won’t you go to VidCon with me?” I say in baby speak. Which makes Bri gag and blush hard. Hard enough I can see her face redden over discord.

When I see this gets arise out of her, I crank the face up to 11. Then I make the face straight into the camera on my laptop.

“What the hell are you doing? Ok! Fine! I’ll go with you to VidCon! You and your freaking stupid baby face.” she says, yelling the first part and mumbling the second part under her breath.

Then Bri makes her own disgusted face at me. Coupled with a wacky grunting sound. Again, I find this freeking adorable and I just start laughing my ass off.

She gets embarrassed calls me stupid several times, which I find hilarious and call her stupid back. Then start making silly faces at each other for a while before we both collapse into a fit of giggles.

“Omg, I didn’t know you could make so many silly faces.” Bri says to me gasping for breath,

“I didn’t know you could either.” I say, also breathing heavily.

“Was that enough to convince you?”

“Ha, ha! Yes, I’ll go to VidCon this year. Can I request we stick together as much as we can though?” Bri asks,

“Of course!” I say with sincerity. I imagine us doing things together and it makes my insides feel warm and fuzzy.

“Dude, we’re going to VidCon! We should to celebrate. Taco Bell?” I ask Bri,

“Hell yeah.” She says smiling, making my heart jump a little. What’s this? Am I catching feelings?

Chapter Text

(C POV)

“Oh, come on.” Bri grumbles as we enter the freeway. There are lines of traffic. It’s moving, not quite stop and go, but it’s much slower than the posted speed limit.

“Guess Google was right. It really will take two hours to get to the hotel.” I say.

Bri sighs and while we are waiting at a light to turn onto the freeway, pops on some music. The Eagles, one of her musical inspirations.

My mind wanders. I think about how we both ended up in the same car heading to the official VidCon content creator hotel.

----------------------------------------------------

“Hey Bri, I have no idea what I’m doing… In my excitement I didn’t consider transit and hotel costs. Do they cover those costs?” I had asked her.

“If they didn’t specify covering them, then they don’t. Probably thought you’re good since you live in the area. But I can totally help you out! No biggy. What do you need?”

I explained my family’s situation.

“Don’t worry Spencer! I’ve got both of those all covered. Though, we might be sharing a room, because the hotel will likely be booked. Don’t worry though, I’ll get a room with two beds. Don’t need a romance clique, unless…” I laugh at that nervously.

“Unless.” I say offhandedly. Which seems to give Bri pause but she continues seemingly unphased.

"Anyway, road trip with my newest bestie? That sounds awesome!” Bri says excitedly. I smile warmly at that, relieved.

----------------------------------------------------

(B POV)

Traffic is a hell on the way there but we listen to music and chat and generally have a good time. As we do my mind wanders to a week ago, when Spencer had bashfully called me. He had asked for help with hotel and transit. He explained his situation, family paying medical bills, them only having one car, and living two hours away by public transit.

“I figured I’d ask, but there’s no need for you to say yes or –”

“Yes! Of course, do you think I’d let a friend spend 2h on public transport? Hell no.” I said with a smile. Then I did something I’m glad I did, but was surprised I asked for.

“Hey, I’m having a really hard time packing… Would you be able to come over to day or sometime this week to help me? Mostly moral support that’s all.” I said sheepishly.

“I have time today. Is in 15 minutes good?” Spencer asked.

I’m floored, but so grateful and that was the best time I’ve had packing for a trip ever! I’m really surprised at Spencer’s ability to plan, but he’s great at it, unlike me. By the time we were done we had even planned a cute couple’s costume for a costume party. Not that we were going as an official couple, but the thought had marched across my mind.

“What’s this? A fake butt?” Spencer had found one of my old sewing projects, some padding I was trying to sew into a push-up bra. I blush, but also find it kinda attractive the way he’s so innocently looking at it in both intrigue and confusion.

“Ha, ha, no. That was my attempt to make a push-up bra. Can’t believe I still have that. But you’re right. That thing does dose look like a fake butt.”

Spencer smirks in a mischievous way.

“I dare you to shove it into your pants.” He says.

“Sure. But only if you do it first.” I say back.

“Fine. Look away.” He says. I turn away for a moment.

“Omg! My name’s Brianna Boho, and I’m so horny!” Spencer says mimicking my on-camera voice. I turn around to him shoving his butt out and greatly exaggerating the way I play up my persona. I can’t help but laugh really hard, both in embarrassment and because Spencer is so gosh darn funny.

“Ok. My turn.” I say, not wanting to be out done by him.

I know exactly what I’m going to do. I’m going to be The Chosen’s worst rival.

I walk into the living room with the most composed face I can muster. I turn around and flip up the purple plaid button up I’m wearing then turn my sunglasses covered eyes toward Spencer to see his reaction. I know Spencer is going to laugh. I’m prepared.

“I’m on my way.” I say with the worst British or Australian accent ever. Not sure, could be either. I wasn’t prepared.

Spencer bursts out laughing. I instantly feel myself smile. I do my best not to, but my face just gets contorted into a, trying not to smile and failing, face.

“I was invited to a costume party, want to come and we can be these two silly guys?” I ask Spencer after we’ve calmed down from laughing our oversized butts off.

“Hell yeah, I’m so down.” Spencer says, smiling wide.

Life in the Fast Lane, a song by the Eagles starts blasting which draws me back to the present. I’m smiling from the memory. I look over at Spencer, who’s also stairing out the window in thought.

“Hun, what?” He says, in the cutest way immagenable when he notices me similing at him.

“Oh just thinking about our duo’s costume for the party tonight.” I say casusally.

The way he grins back makes something in my mind sparkle, like I’m on top of the world. With Life in the Fast Lane blaring and us driving around LA I feel like I’m the coolest girl alive. What is this? Am I catching feelings?

(C POV)

Bri and I arrive at the hotel just after lunch. I’m exhausted from the car ride over and spend the rest of the afternoon in my hotel room. Much of which ends up being thinking about Bri to my brain’s delight and my dismay.

While I’m typing ‘cheep food near me’ into Google Maps a message from Bri pops infront of the search box.

BriannaurHo: Hey want to grab some food before heading to the party tonight?

TheChosen11: Sure, just about to look for food myself

BriannaurHo: Epic

TheChosen11: Nervous about the party

Introvert vibes  ;)  :/

BriannaurHo: Fair

Anything else you’d like to see in LA? Like we can totally do something else together if partying isn’t your vibe

TheChosen11: If you know any good food + live music places that sounds cool

Museums are always fun, or a classical concert, also beach if it’s warm enough

Wait, didn’t pack any swimming clothes, so I’m only equipped for beach hiking

BriannaurHo: Omg.

Spenc!

You’re going to be a tourist in LA, in the summer, and you don’t bring a swimsuit?

What about pool parties?

TheChosen11: Would you believe that I didn’t get invited to pool parties much as a kid?

And haven’t since I became an adult…

BriannaurHo: Sadly it tracks

We need to get you some more interesting experiences

Like you need to go do stuff, go live, go have fun, find you some outdoor hobbies

TheChosen11: What? Outdoors? Eeeewwww! Yuck! Don’t make me go touch grass!!!

I hate grass!!!

BriannaurHo: Lol, nerd

I chuckle at Bri’s comment.

BriannaurHo: Stop texting me and get down here!

I’m in the lobby waiting for you like a dork!

Nerd! <3

Chapter Text

(C POV)

Bri and I enter the rowdy house party arm in arm. I’m dressed in my standard Chosen outfit, though I didn’t bring my sword, figured it would be a safety nightmare. Bri is now dressed as a character we both lovingly named ‘Gerald Cakes’ due to his massive cakes (butt). She has a short gray wig on with a purple plaid button up and tan cargo pants that match my cargo shorts.

The party seems to pause as we enter and everyone starts to whisper about our presence.

“Wow, these people really seem to know you.” I say with sarcasm.

Bri deflects people’s stares by looking at them intimidatingly through her sunglasses then grabbing my waist and pulling me closer. While her face radiates confidence, I can feel her hand on my hip shaking ever so slightly.

“Some of these people are part of Bryce’s circle. He’s likely to be here.” She says to me, just barley loud enough for me to catch over the full volume music. Speaking of the devil, a man who should be very hansom by all standards, yet radiates walking red flag energy, saunters up to us.

“Hey there! And who are you two?”

“Hello Bryce.” Brianna says in annoyance.

“Brianna! Oh my goodness! I didn’t recognize you in this costume! Wow, I thought you two might be boyfriends or something! Ha, ha! Glad you could make it! Who’s this you brough with you?” The way this guy talks and holds himself radiates both bimbo energy and intitled brat. Like he was mega intitled, but also just dumb enough to not recognize it.

“Oh him? This is The Chosen. He’s my body guard. Bryce.” Bri says smugly, pulling my face to her level. At the name Bryce, I protectively hold her and scowl at the guy infront of me. Still, I can tell Bri is freeking out as her hand on my face is trembling and sticky with sweat.

“New boyfriend? Sick!” Bryce says, to Bri. 

“Body guard, did you not hear what I said? Dumb ass?” Bri retorts.

Without missing a beat or seemingly hearing what Brianna had said, Bryce point blank, right infront of her says probably the worst shit possible and directs it at me.

“Dude! You’re in for a ride. She’s so hot in the bedroom, it’s unreal, but be careful elsewhere. Ha ha, she’s quite a handful, hope you know what you’re doing man.”

I’m seething at this. How dare he say something like that about Bri right infront of her like she’s not here? In the moments I’m breathing debating whether punching this guy is worth it, someone has comes up to Bryce and whispers in his ear.

“Latter, gotta perform. You should stay, it’s going to be a banger.” Then he’s gone.

(B POV)

Spencer and I are enjoying ourselves at the house party when Bryce comes by says some nasty stuff and waltzes off. I’m shook by his presence and how he talked about me to Spencer. He had no right to say those things. What the Fuck?

Then Bryce sings Bad Habits by Ed Sheeran. He even had the audacity to dedicate his performance to me.

I’m livid.

“Hey you look really upset.” Spencer whispers to me while we’re sitting outside. I’ve almost finished two beer bottles in the time since Bryce performed.

“Hey Bri. I know you’re mad right now, but I don’t think drinking is going to help with that. Maybe you could do something to let off some steam. Like sing angry karaoke or something?” Spencer suggests.

That is a stelar idea. I nod and polish off the bottle I’m holding and head back inside

“Do you know Organized Chaos by the MisterWives?” I ask the DJ, trying to be as polite as I can.

“Yeah sure, actually that’s one of my favorite songs. Do know it well?” The dj asks as they look around for a karaoke track to it.

“Yes.” I say, “Is there a way to directly send you a music file?” I ask in the nicest impatient voice I can muster.

“Yeah, sure, air drop it.” They say. Then their eyes go wide when they understand what I’ve done.

“You’re part of the Mister Wives?” The DJ asks,

“Yeah. I’m Brianna Boho, the lead singer.” With in a few minutes I’m up on stage performing.

The beat and words pull me in and I’m caught up in it all. My memory of performing this while on tour a few months ago comes back to me and I start dancing. Then the lyrics really start hitting.

“I’m done shape shifting for you.” I say as I look directly at Bryce who’s been chilling at a table surrounded by women and drinks. Then I deliver the next line in the song.

“Gave you the best, until death do us part, But it’s a shame you’re alive.”

When the music cuts at the end and I deliver the last phrase of the song tears start welling up in my eyes. I hit the ending dance pose and freeze. Coming back to reality from the world of emotion and song I was just in the room is eerily silent.

Someone starts clapping and the room erupts into applause, the outpouring of support causes the tears to burst forth. I shove my hands over my face to try conceal the tears, but have no idea where I’m going or what’s happening. Suddenly, Spencer is there guiding me off stage. He both shields me physically and with his calming presence till we slip out the door and walk into the suburban night.

We barely make it to my car before I’m balling. We just stand there next to my car. Spencer holding me, me just hugging him crying onto his shirt. Everything just comes pouring out. How I don’t deserve him as a friend, how I’m just an idiot for ever dating someone like Bryce, I think I apologized for being an asshole online, but that even in my mind was unintelligible at that point. I also apologized for crying on his shirt. With unimaginable calm and acceptance Spencer just takes it and says,

“I’m sorry you went through all of that Brianna. You’re here now. We’re together, it’s going to be ok.”

(Bryce POV)

My performance rocked. I hoped Brianna saw it and thought I was the hottest thing ever. Then Brianna performed and idk she seemed really mad.

It hit me that something was wrong with Brianna when she started crying and the strange Spencer guy with her, that night, ran up and escorted her off stage. As I was confused and intrigued by what just happened I decided to make an excuse and leave the party. I snuck down the block toward where I saw Brianna and the man in an embrace. As I approached, I realized they are not kissing or making out, but Brianna was full on sobbing. I hesitate.

My initial thought was to sneak up and maybe take some pictures to hang over her (or his) head. I was hoping for something mildly embarrassing, not something this serious. Brianna’s sobs get fewer and farther between and then they get quieter. Between them I hear her talking with him.

Bri: “I-I’m such a mess, God! How can you stand me?”

Man: “You’re just upset right now, it’s ok.”

Bri: “Ah, your shirt! Is all this wet really me? … I’m so sorry!”

Man: “It’s all good. I’d rather be here covered in your tears then you alone by yourself… Unless you’d prefer to cry by yourself somewhere…”

Bri: “… No, I’m really grateful you’re here. You saved me on that stage. I would have broke down infront of everyone if you hadn’t come for me. Ha ha ha, oh my God!”

Man: “Ha ha ha!”

Then the two break into laughter. What a strange shift in emotion. The air shifts and everything is quiet for several breaths. Then they both sigh and the tension in the air releases.

“Wow” They both say.

Bri: “I’m so tired, can you drive me back to the hotel?”

Man: “Yeah, but you sure you want me driving your car?”

Bri: “Does it look like we have another option?"

Man: “Ha ha, fair enough, I’ll be careful.”

Bri: “You better!”

The two then get into the car and drive off. I duck behind some bushes and they don’t notice me. Then they are gone to the night.

Wow. I feel like I witnessed something really profound, but I’m not sure what. Was that love I felt in the air? Like not even romantic love just ‘I care for you so deeply’ love. The kind anyone can have for anyone, which is in such short supply around here? Damn. Maybe I never truly cared for Brianna like I thought I did. Am I the asshole?

Chapter Text

(B POV)

I’m in a warm bed and most of the way asleep. Then the bed shifts and someone next to me scrambles out of the bed. I desperately don’t want to wake up so I roll over and pretend that never happened.

Then it hits me. That was Spencer and I’m in the same bed as he is. Or was I guess.

I’m too tiered to process what just happened so I just close my eyes. Next thing I know Spencer is getting out of the bathroom.

“Spence did we have sex last night?” I ask sleepily,

“I know I was a little drunk. I really hope I didn’t push you into something you didn’t want or anything.” I say,

“No.” Spencer answers.

“You did sing me… A song you called ‘The World’s Most Awful Love Song’.” He says. The lyrics of my musical attempt at sharing my feelings last floating back to me.

“Oh, ugg. I’m guessing we haven’t discussed that yet, have we?” I say rolling to face Spencer. He comes over and sits awkwardly on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, you kinda just insisted that I hold you after that. I couldn’t tell if you were really drunk or really tiered.” He says bashfully. I cover my face with my arm his bashful face is too cute and I can’t help but fall for him that much more. The angle of looking up at him as I’m laying on the bed isn’t helping either.

“I liked your song.” Spencer says shyly after a long pause. Then studders into his next statement.

“I – I, could have left. I could have gone to sleep in the other bed after you fell asleep. I – I wanted to stay. I wanted to hold you and make sure you were safe and warm. I don’t want anyone like Bryce to hurt you ever again… My answer to your song is, I like you, Bri.”

My face burns and my heart races. As soon as Spencer says those words I pull my arm off my face and look up at him. I’m beaming, I can’t stop smiling my mind races with all the thoughts all the scenarios I’ve pushed down. All the things we could do. Together.

Then I pause, because when he looks back at me there’s a mountain of concern in his face. A fear haunts him. Now it’s my turn to be protective.

“Spence! I’m so excited you feel the same, but what’s got you so worried?” I say as I sit up in bed.

“I – I do like you. I do have romantic feelings for you. I do want for us to be together. But… I’m – I’m just not sure we’re compatible…” He says hesitantly.

“Because you’re asexual and I’m allosexual?” I say. He slowly nods in response.

There’s a silence between us as Spencer wanders over to sit on the bed. He Throws his legs onto it and leans against the headboard. Then he reaches out and puts his hand on mine. I lean into the gesture, lacing our fingers together. Feeling for any sign of pulling away or discomfort. He seems to lean into the gesture. There’s a tension that’s building, but also a tension that feels like it’s releasing. I know what I want. I’m willing to give this a try.

“I don’t care. I don’t care about sex when it comes to you Spenc. The way your presence alone makes me feel. I’m ok with us never having sex. Our chemistry, us, it’s just so magical even without it. I – ”

“Bri, can I hug you?” Spencer asks suddenly. I nod and then I’m in his arms. He’s wrapped around me, but I feel like I’m holding him up. The world melts away and all there is, is us.

As I pull away from the embrace I realize how awkward the position we are in is. I’m kneeling on the bed while Spencer has remained sitting. He’s slid halfway down the headboard and is almost lying down. I’ve ended up startling him and am sprawled out over his chest.

“Ah! Woops, sorry! I’m in a much more suggestive position than I ment to be in. Let me just – ”

“Stay.” Spencer says. As I ready to move off him.

I look up at him and I look directly into Spencer’s beautiful blue eyes. They’re so full of soul and joy. I hope my eyes can reflect some of that back to him because that’s exactly how he makes me feel. Full of life, full of energy, like there’s a hundred possibilities and we are at the center of all of them.

I lay there perfectly content to listen to Spencer’s heartbeat and breath. Soon he decides he wants up. He does this by flails his arms is such a cute way. I gladly oblige, feeling happy doing so.

“Would you like to go on a date with me?” Spencer asks quickly then rushes to the bathroom. I pressure him, but he just slams the door in my face.

“Hey! You didn’t let me answer! Open this door asshole!” I say from the other side of the door.

“Uggg, door can you believe this? The nicest guy in the universe asks me on a date and then slams you in my face. I was totally going to tell him yes, but I might be having second thoughts…” I continue to talk to the door till Spencer comes out of the bathroom.

“Yes. I’d love to go on a date with you Spencer.” I say as he emerges.

“Forget everything I said to the door. I may have just been a little salty you slammed a door in my face.” I say apologetically. Spencer smiles widely.

“You’re cute. I loved it.”

Spencer is cut off when my phone starts exploding with sounds. Like every notification sound just went off on it all at once.

(C POV)

Bri checks her phone.

“Ah shit! Spenc we need to be a VidCon like right now!” She yells.

This jolts me into action. I remember I have a meet and great as well as a panel to attend today. Together we rush and get our shit together for our big day today.

With out thinking I put my phone on silent mode. I don’t want it going off during one of the many events I’m doing today.

(B POV)

The next several hours are a whirlwind of activity. I’m part of a few panels and do a meet and greet, which is much more respectful than I expected, though there are still a handful and weirdos and security is on high alert at my line.

I make sure I go to one of Spencer’s panels. It’s so electric being in the audience! Everyone is excited to see the four, up and coming creators at this panel. Seeing some people even dress up as The Chosen is a treat. Soon enough, the lights dim and we all settle in for the show.

“What about you and the ex porn star Brianna Boho? How much of her success do you attribute to your own success?” Asks the host of the panel. Her questions are directed at Spencer. The crowd hushes as they all wait for Spencer to respond. I cringe at the questions.

“Wow, slut shaming much?” Spencer says, instantly making the crowd roar with approval and my heart soar with feelings.

“I see nothing wrong with being a porn star. But you should direct those type of questions to her, as I am a Chosen. And as a Chosen I do not deal is such things as sex.” He pauses, letting the cheering of the crowd settle down. I’m grinning like an idiot right now. What a sweet response and a great way to deflect.

“Ok, ok seriously though I only herd of her after she shifted to more gaming type content. She asked me to collab with her to make some gaming content and we became friends. From there we helped each other build better channels. That’s really it. We’ve maybe been working together for about four months now?” Spencer says.

“That’s so cool. Ok, we all want to know. What’s the deal between you two? Are you two dating?” the host asks. At this the crowd starts whispering, but falls silent when Spencer picks up his mic to respond.

“I am the Chosen. Chosen do not concern themselves with such things as dating. It’s against our code of honor and would only distract us from being the ultimate protectors of the universe.” Spencer says in his chosen voice, earning a wave of laughter from the audience.

“I don’t reveal that kind of stuff. I don’t want to mention privet life on my channel.” Spencer reiterates. The interviewer nods and moves on by asking questions of someone else.

(C POV)

It is Sunday. I wake up next to Bri and I can’t believe my luck. Finding someone so amazing.

“I’m holding you to your word about that date.” Brianna had said last night as we had gotten into bed.

“Of course. I’m just a bit too tiered right now.” I had said snuggling down under the covers.

I lay in bed soaking in the warmth and comfort of everything. Then Bri’s phone starts exploding. Like every notification just went off all at once and kept going.

Bri gets up to check it. I flip over and watch as her face grows dark. She just stands there frozen.

I get up and approach, touching Bri tenderly.

“Bri? What wrong?” I ask, she gestures for me to look over her shoulder.

Then I see it. Bryce. Starting some sort of drama on Twitter about her and me?

As I take this in, I can see the panic building in Brianna. Then I say the first thing I can think of.

“Phone detox! Ah, uh, isn’t that some sort of trend? What I mean is, let’s shut down our phones for the day. I have some paper maps, we can use those to navigate instead of Google Maps.” I take out my phone and shut it down. It sings a little jingle before going dark.

Bri is breathing heavily and shaking, but she manages to do the same. I stand there with her my arms wrapped around her shoulders just holding her. Her heavy breathing shaking, just like she did Friday night after she confessed.

My stomach grumbles really loudly. We look at each other then, burst out laughing.

“Let’s start with date breakfast. I’m starving!” I say.

That jump starts our day, which we kick off date day with a healthy breakfast at the café down stairs. Then after packing all our stuff into Bri’s car, we head out to a day of tourism and fun.

Bri wants to show me come iconic LA spots and I want to go to the beach. The Beach is more on the way back so we decided to see LA first.

The first thing we do to kick off our day is going to The Grove. This very fancy and high-class shopping center. It’s supper nice and even though everything is a bit out of my budget range I’m happy to be here. Here with Bri. She’s having a blast, I’m having a blast. We both win.

Next, Bri and I wander around and find several great spots for photos or a cute moment to sit and chill. With our paper maps, we get lost more than a few times. Even so I don’t care. I’m with Bri and we are on a date, just hanging in her presence is amazing. Everything sparkles just a little bit more knowing what I feel for her is, in her own way reciprocated.

Finally, we get to the beach. We’ve brought a delicious Subway sandwich picnic Dinner and are going to watch the sunset over the ocean. As we approach and hike down we realize that even though we are very close to LA, this is a California beach, which are foggy and cold most of the time. We do it anyway.

The sunset is so beautiful. The fog seems to get thinner right at the horizon and the mist is set aglow with orange and red melting into each other. The cool, crisp, foggy sea air chilling us is contrast to the oppressive summer heat we were in just a few miles away.

Everything is perfect. I snuggle up to Bri and she snuggles up to me. Then I lay my head on her shoulder and she lays her head on top of mine.

“I love hanging out with you.” I say.

“Me too.” Bri says smiling warmly

All is well with the world right now. I think blissfully, as a sense of peace settles between us that nothing in the world can break.

Chapter Text

(B POV)

The sun had set and we headed back to the car. Spencer turns his phone on to navigate back home. When it starts blowing up with missed messages and calls.

At first he’s quiet, dread falling over his face.

“NO.” He shouts almost screams but keeps it down.

“no no no no! Bri, Bri,” He says panicked,

“How fast can you get me home? I need to be there right now!”

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” I ask panic rising in me from Spencer’s reaction.

He makes a face. Like he’s trying to say something but doesn’t have the capacity to form words. Spencer’s mouth opens but no words come out just a rasping squeak that barely audible.

“Your dad.” I say, realizing.

Spencer’s face goes white. He looks away and nods, when he turns back tears are steaking down his face.

Google maps tells us we are two hours away from his place. So, we drive.

The next two hours nothing is said between us. Spencer just reads and listens to all his missed texts and messages. I can hear the phone calls and they start out worried, but cordial and devolve into upset and disappointed. There’s even one that he shuts off because the person on the other end starts yelling.

The silence of the rests of the car trip is suffocating.

We get to his place and before I’ve parked he leaps out of the car. He runs into his house. I’m unsure what to do. Do I go in or do I wait out here? He’s still got his stuff in the back of the car.

After a few minutes of deliberating I decide I want to be there for Spencer. It’s going to be awkward, painful, tough, but he’s got it way worse and I just can’t bare the thought of him being alone in all of that.

I head to the front door and taking a deep breath knock. The door opens and a woman I’ve never seen pokes her head out. Her face seems familiar and I get a flash of Spencer, as my mind puts the pieces together she introduces herself.

“Hi I’m Gracy, Spencer’s sister. Are you Spencer’s friend who he went to Vidcon with?” She asks

“Yes.”

“Please come in.” She says. I enter a small but warmly lit house this place would have been inviting but yelling from the kitchen instantly dispels any inviting vibes.

“You fucking missed it! How could you! You were in charge of this! It was your stupid-”

“Michael! Stop it right now! Don’t you go berating Spencer…” Gracy yells at a man who comes into view as I step into the kitchen.

I round the corner to find Spencer. He’s on this side of the kitchen facing off against another man, taller than him, more solidly built, but again has a hint of his facial features. The other man is fuming and spencer is just there. I can only see a silver of Spencer’s, but it looks like all the life has been drained from him. He’s defeated. Just standing there. He looks like his mind has left his body and he’s barely able to keep from falling over.

“Spencer.” Is all I manage to say reaching out for his shoulder.

(C POV)

“Spencer.” A hand touches my shoulder, Brianna’s voice cuts through the panicked fog I’m in, and my head shoots up. Michael has stopped yelling at me, but I can’t help and feel like it’s all my fault. I missed it all. I couldn’t help. I had abandoned everyone and didn’t deserve to be here.

I’m shaking and suddenly I find I’m face to face with Bri. I just hug her. I can’t think of what else to do. She’s the only person I haven’t disappointed. Then with the warmth of her hug and the soft contact of her, the wall holding back my tears breaks. I’m crying. Water flooding out from me.

I feel her hug me back.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” She whispers softly over and over again as I wail into her shoulder and chest.

“It’s all my fault. I couldn’t be here where everyone needed me. I’m such a failure. I don’t deserve to be here.” I say through sobbing and gasping for air.

“I’m sorry you feel that way. It hurts to know you feel that way about yourself. I’m here for you and I’m sure your family will be too. It was an honest mistake, you couldn’t have known.” Brianna says. She just keeps holding me. She never stops or faulters.

I sob for so long saying nothing more than the occasional “I’m sorry,” or “Thank you.”

What feels like forever latter I come to from the fog of anguish. I’m on the floor sitting across from Bri. We are still embracing, somehow.

I pull away and look at her. She’s been crying too. Her makeup is smudged, but that doesn’t matter.

“Thank you for being here. I’m going to go now.” I say embarrassed. and quickly go to my room.

Logic and feelings are not getting along inside me right now. I feel like everyone hates me. For not being there, for not responding when I needed to, for being dumb and not having my phone on. I feel like going to VidCon was a mistake and I am being punished for being personally successful.

Logically I know all these things are false, but the emotional weight is just too great. I slump onto my bed and fall asleep crying.

Chapter Text

(B POV)

The evening Spencer and I returned from Vidcon was a whirlwind. I met his family, held him while he was crying. It was a really emotional day.

The next day I reached out to the only other friend I knew Spencer had, Augustus. Augustus is the guy that works at the local Game Stop. He is kind and quicky, and will tell you everything about any video game he knows about. He’s also Spencer’s best friend. From what I know, the two went to high school together, but connected when they worked together at Game Stop about a year ago.

“Wait what happened?!” Augustus says in his quirky accent.

“Spencer’s father passed away yesterday.” I say solemnly.

“Damn. Spencer’s not going to take that well.”

“Yeah, the whole thing happened while we were out of the area with our phones off… He could have gone to see him if he’d known, but he missed being with his father and family in his father’s last moments.”

“Oh, shit. He’s going to take this even harder. Damn. I’ll see who I can call in, he’s going to need a lot of support.”

“Thank you, Augustus! I’m so grateful for the help.” I say. After which, Augustus and I talk logistics of who to contact and how to tell them.

We hatch a plan. I’ll reach out to Spencer to get his preference on how much to tell others. If we don’t hear from him in two weeks were going to tell Spencer’s closest friends and then go to his house and be with him. Whatever he needs.

Several days pass and neither of us hear from Spencer. Another week latter me or Augustus haven’t heard from Spencer. After asking Spencer’s friends and none of us hearing from him Augustus and I set our plan into action.

Latter I’m calling up Spencer’s mom. Phone number sourced from one of his friends.

“Hi Mrs. Topp, I’m calling to see how Spencer is doing. I haven’t heard from him in about three weeks. I just wanted to check up on him.

since I the night we came back and I just wanted to check up on him.”

“Oh, Brianna thank you so much. You’re very sweet for calling. Yes, we also haven’t seen much of him in a few weeks either. He’s been holed up in his room and not eating. I’m really worried for him.” She says,

“Would it be ok if me and some of his friends came over today or tomorrow?” I ask as a plan forms in my head.

“Yes please. If you can convince him to eat something I would be greatly relieved.” I hear her sniff on the other side of the phone.

(CPOV)

Day one, I can’t stop crying. Every waking moment I’m either thinking of him or I’m thinking how I missed being there for him in his final moments.

Day two, I don’t feel like moving. Nothing feels right, especially moving. I drag myself to the toilet maybe twice before I see it’s 9pm and dark so I go to bed.

The next day I’m gripped with a fear that everyone hates me. I’m supposed to be responsible for taking care of dad. I stupidly quit my job to do that. I stopped my education to do that. And I failed at the one thing I was supposed to be doing. I missed everything because I didn’t have my stupid phone on and was instead fucking making goo goo eyes at Brianna.

I look over at my phone on my desk. It’s dark and off. My stomach churns and I throw a shirt over it so I can pretend it doesn’t exist.

The next several days are the same. The gripping fear consumes my insides making food unappetizing. My mom calls through the door asking if I want anything to eat. I say I’m not hungry.

The next day my sister and brothers ask me to eat something. I say nothing and pretend I’m asleep. Food starts appearing at my door. Sometimes I eat it, sometimes I don’t.

One day I try to play a video game. A menu pops up. It has the save where my dad was running through the game while I was coaching him. I shut down the game and cry myself to sleep.

There’s a cautious knocking at my bedroom door. I peal my eyes open and see the light behind the curtains of my room.

“Hey Spencer, Brianna and some of your friends are here to see you.” My mom says through the door. I jump out of bed, eminently flopping to the floor, my legs weak from not barely moving from my bed since it happened. I’m saved sue to there being lots of dirty clothes on the floor.

“What’s Brianna doing here? Who else is with her?” I ask, words just coming out of my mouth. I’m shocked Brianna is here. Did she even remember I existed? Hadn’t all this family drama driven her away?

“Augustus and two girls. Jammy and Kalie, I think?” My mom says.

Embarrassed that I’m nowhere near presentable I throw on some pj’s that seem clean, though I doubt anything in my wardrobe is clean at this point, and a robe.

I shuffle reluctantly into the living room where a large group of people I’d called friends at some point in my life were gathered. The two women my mom had called Jammy and Kalie, were actually Kimmy and Jackie. Jackie I’d met in college at a larp club and Kimmy was someone I’d gone to high school with and was my manager when I worked at Game Stop.

Then there was Augustus, my good high school friend. We had gotten the Game Stop job together one summer as he really wanted it, but was very shy to work a customer service job. Then in the back of the crowd was Brianna. She seemed to be nervously looking around. But when she saw me, her face lit up, then dimmed with worry.

When I enter the room Augustus has a look of relief and excitement and in his normal quirky way says,

“Spencer! You’re not dead! The way Brianna talked about you it seemed you left this world with your – ouch! Don’t touch me, Brianna!” I can’t help but chuckle at Augustus’ very poorly timed joke.

“Don’t say stuff like that!” Brianna hisses,

“Hey Spencer, we heard from Brianna and Augustus that your father passed away recently and you weren’t doing so well after. We came to check in with you.” Jackie said, with Kimmy nodding vigorously in the background.

“We’re here to take you to Denny’s. That’s not an option. We’re taking you there. Do you want to change first or should we just go?” Brianna said in a matter of fact voice I’d never heard from her.

I’m flustered. The gesture is so sweet, but that the same time I’m supper unpresentable and can’t help but drag my feet about this.

“I – ah…I’m just not sure I’m feeling up to going out today.” I stammer.

Brianna crosses her arms.

“Grab him girls.” Brianna says, then Jackie and Kimmy proceed to pick me up and start walking me toward the door.

“Ok, ok! I’ll come. Put me down! Let me get dressed and some shoes on! I’ll go to Denny’s.” I say flailing.

Chapter Text

(B POV)

I notice Spencer’s struggling to be present. He’s staring off into space mouth agape fork off the plate. He tried to bite at it, but there’s nothing on the fork to bite. He shakes his head dazed and notices I’m staring at him.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” he says bashfully. I give Spencer a sad smile and he looks down at his plate.

Then Agustus butts in with some info about a new roleplaying game. This peeks everyone’s interest, even Spencer’s. Soon enough we’re all chatting and laughing. While Spencer doesn’t ever laugh, he does seem to relax. By the end of the meal, Spencer seems like he actually had a good time eating and hanging out with us.

Almost a week later I get a call from Spencer asking to do friend brunch again. Soon our friend group has made Saturday brunch a weekly occurrence. It’s wonderful. I also make time, during the week, to go over to Spencer’s house and check up on him.

About two months later, I get a call from Spencer.

“Hey, do you want to come over today? Or sometime this week if you’re busy?” He adds hurriedly,

“Yes. I’m coming.”

“Wait, wait, just so you know, there’s some stuff I want to talk about. And mostly just to hang out. You know just chill and stuff. Netflix and chill, if you want, minus the connotation.” He jests.

I smile widely.

“I’m coming.” I say again, excitedly.

(C POV)

I’m in my kitchen preparing some snacks for me and Bri. My breath comes quick and I’m doing my best to control it.

Bri is here, sitting on the couch in the living room. This is not a new thing, yet everything feel like it’s hanging in suspense.

“Bri…” I say as I place a bowl of popcorn and a bowl of candy down on the coffee table,

“Are we dating?” I ask, practically throwing the words out of my mouth so they don’t stick.

Bri sits there quietly. I slowly lower myself to sit on the edge of the couch. Her bow furrows slightly, her deeply thinking face. This causes memories us hanging out before everything went down, to rush into my mind. They fill me with this happiness that I immediately feel a wave of guilt for feeling.

In the silence I feel I have to clarify,

“I’d really like to date you. If you want. I don’t want to push you into anything. I know we went on a trial date before everything went down – ”

“Yes. Yes!” Bri says, flinging herself at me and awkwardly embracing me. Her head lands on my chest. I can feel her breath on me and it fills me with warmth and comfort.

“Is this ok?” Brianna asks shyly. I nod. She continues quickly.

“All I’ve wanted to do since your father passed is hold you, cry with you, be with you, keep the pain and darkness away from you. But I didn’t know if you’d be ok with that, ace stuff and all. With how out of it you were I wasn’t sure…” She trails off.

“Would you? Would you hold me?” I ask sheepishly. Cheeks flushing with awe and joy that she would do that, for me.

“Yes! Come here cutie.” She says beckoning me to lay on her chest. My cheeks flush and something in my chest shivers in excitement.

As I lay on Bri's chest I also hug her body. This. This is where I want to stay forever. Bri’s arms wrapped around me, her warmth surrounding me in hope and safety.

We settle into cuddling on my parents, my mom’s couch and eating snacks. Bri kisses my head and limbs which isn’t something I’d really considered, but I’m in love with it! Maybe I’m not ready for lip kissing but body kisses are good to me.

After what feels like a few minutes, but ends up being hours I ask

“So, you want to watch a show?”

“Yes.” Brianna says.

And so, we do.

Chapter Text

(B POV)

It has been a few months since Spencer and I officially started dating. While he's shy when we’re in public about letting others know we are dating, he’s really affectionate and cuddly when we’re all alone. With how much bigger he is than me I’m in love with the way he wraps his big strong arms around me.

We also have moments where both of us aren’t ready for something, touching, kissing, sexual coded talk. I expected this with Spencer, but not so much for me, and yet I feel we’ve had our equal share of moments. I think what gives me the hots for him the most is how he listens to my boundaries, and is always asking clarifying questions.

“Is this an always no or a sometimes no?” Is one of my favorite lines Spencer says.

But today we are not cuddling, we’re working. There’s been this project I’ve been wanting to make since Augustus mentioned this cool new table top game called Daggerheart. For the past while now me, Augustus, Jackie, Kimmy, and Spencer have been working on an actual play podcast of them playing the game. It been so much fun! The stories they’ve told are so funny and the shorts we’ve been able to make from our footage are so funny. These have rocketed our podcast to fame!

I'm not a player at the table due to being incredibly nervous about trying roleplaying. Still watching the people I call genuine friends play has been a joy. Maybe one day I’ll face my fears and play a character. Augustus has been cooking up stuff that is becoming more irresistible by the session.

Fears aside, my influencer gamer career has been going great! I’ve played so many cool games, made some awesome new friends, and am on some cool teams that make my job so enjoyable.

(C POV)

It’s been 5 months since Brianna and I started dating. Though I really feel like we actually started dating all the way back at VidCon. That’s when I truly started to have romantic feelings for her. I love it when we hangout together. Being with Bri is so electrifying and comforting. It’s hard for me to explain us. Maybe it’s just my shyness toward romantic feelings, maybe it’s my complex feelings toward sexual stuff. Whatever it is, I love Bri, I love us. The way we just work together makes me feel so fulfilled.

Today we are shooting the first episode of “Daggerheart: You are The Chosen” under a collective channel Bri, Augustus, and I all started called Interdimensional Nerds. It’s so fun to be playing a character with my friends and just making silly videos with everyone. It has given me something to look forward to and helps me focus on the now, not all that’s transpired.

There are days that I wake up and feel shitty. There are days where I feel like getting out of bed is a chore, and there are days I feel I’ve failed everyone in my family. But, with the help of my friends and of course Brianna, those days are fewer and farther in between.

Since my dad’s passing, we’ve had a funeral for him, which really helped my whole family. I was able to express how much my father meant to me and was able to hear what my siblings had to say about him. Everything people had to say was so heartfelt and moving. It also gave us time to talk with each other, clarify, and apologize. Now we are trying to support each other as best we can.

Mom and I have decided that it’s time to move. She’s going to live with my brother and his family and I’m going to go live in my own apartment or move in with Bri, not sure yet, we’ll see. Everything’s in flux and plans are still being made. Why did I decide to start a new Youtube channel now?

Bad choices aside, I’m happy to be where I am in life right now. My channel’s doing really well, I’ve talked about what happened and my community is super supportive. To top it all off, I’m dating for the first time and so far, it really feels like I’m dating the love of my life.

Dad, if you can hear my thoughts right now, thank you for being my inspiration. I’m sorry that it took you getting sick for all of this to happen, but I’m glad we got to spend so much time together. I want to say thank you for all you’ve done for me and I’m really, really, really sorry I couldn’t be there for you in your last moments. I hope you know, you were and still are my inspiration. I hope heaven has good internet connection, because you can find some of the greatest things you inspired me to make on the interwebs. Rest in peace dad.

Chapter Text

Hello everyone! Thank you for reading this story! This took me over a year to write, edit, and post and I'm so excited to finally have finished posting it! This is my first multi chapter fic that I've finished and am so excited and proud of it. Also to have had so many people even just check out this fic has been amazing! (60+ of you as of 7/2025 I see you :)

Thank you so much for sticking with me through my abysmal posting schedule and I truly hope this story put some joy in your life!

Much Love,

Casper <3