Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shen Yuan was certain he was an expert in the “Proud Immortal Demon Way” lore. Perhaps he knew it even better than its author. Yes, he sometimes got the names of Luo Binghe’s numerous wives mixed up, but those were trifles. If Shen Yuan got woken up in the middle of the night, he’d flawlessly recite the names of monsters that appeared in the chapters one hundred twenty-five to five hundred and three, their habits, preferences and weak points. He’d bought and read every chapter of this hack of a novel for a reason!

To put it briefly, Shen Yuan seriously doubted “Proud Immortal Demon Way” had something he didn’t already know. He believed this universe had nothing to surprise him.

But to be completely honest, Shen Yuan had never expected that the scum villain would turn out to be a vampire.

On the one hand, Shen Yuan could understand why this information had never found its way into the book. Turned out, Shen Jiu’s vampiric nature didn’t really influence his day-to-day life: he felt bloodthirst, but the way an ordinary person felt hunger when passing a stall with chicken skewers. A temptation one could resist. Yue Qingyuan came to the bamboo hut once in two weeks, cut his wrist with a silver knife, poured some dark blood from his veins into a cup prepared in advance, pressed a clean cloth soaked with a herbal remedy to his wound and politely turned away, lest his shidi felt embarrassed. Nothing to write home about. Luo Binghe, who had been the POV character in the book, didn’t and couldn’t know such minor things. Still…

Hey, master Airplane, what the actual fuck?! I want my money back! System, what kind of hack writing is that?!

[User is offered an opportunity to fill the plot holes, enrich the lore and unlock the character’s secret backstory! Good luck!]

Right, sure. What had Shen Yuan even expected?

He could do nothing but be quietly happy his vampirism wasn’t bothering him in his day-to-day life. Making it easier, even: Shen Yuan had found the skinner demon by its weird smell. Yes, sometimes Shen Yuan gulped looking at the blue vein on Ning Yingying’s slender neck. Or moved away from Ming Fan when the latter was training and the blood was rushing through his veins. Good thing Luo Binghe didn’t smell like food: the vampire body must have known on its own not to drink a Heavenly Demon’s blood. Centuries of evolution and natural selection… or Airplane’s laziness. Shen Yuan would bet on the latter.

Shen Yuan’s relief from the vampires in “Proud Immortal Demon Way” being different and not going crazy from bloodthirst stayed with him until the Lingxi Caves.

He didn’t sense the smell immediately. Actually, it was barely present at first: something wavering in the air, on the edge of Shen Yuan’s consciousness, which Shen Yuan attributed to the blood-stained cave walls. But later, when Shen Yuan heard a scream and went to investigate… The smell turned more potent with each step. A mind-blowing, mouth-watering aroma of the most delicious gourmet food. Ambrosia. Shen Yuan even wondered whether he should turn away and leave the way he’d come: the thirst he felt couldn’t be compared to the light hunger Shen Qingqiu’s body was used to.

But Shen Yuan would be unable to meditate while listening to the screams, and he didn’t want to leave the Lingxi Caves without achieving any result.

Having made the choice, Shen Yuan went forth. He managed to pacify the man – Liu Qingge! The War God! – raging in a fit of a qi deviation. After realising which plot point he was dealing with, Shen Yuan got so scared even his bloodthirst receded.

Having made sure Liu Qingge had regained his consciousness, Shen Yuan hastily apologised and all but ran out of the cave. After putting enough distance between himself and Liu Qingge, Shen Yuan slid down the cave wall and started licking the remains of Liu Qingge’s blood off his fingers with a groan of pleasure.

He’d never tasted anything better in his entire life. Not grandma’s pancakes, not mom’s signature porridge that she’d cooked for her sick kids, not the dishes of the most famous chefs in the city’s best restaurants could be compared to the heavenly liquid flowing through Liu Qingge’s veins. Shen Yuan licked his fingers clean, then moved to the crust on his wrists and came back to his senses attempting to suck on his soaked sleeve.

Fuck your digital mother, System!.. Shen Yuan had never consented to that!

What made Liu Qingge so different from the others Shen Yuan was ready to forget his natural fastidiousness and lick him from head to toe? Was it his high cultivation level? But Yue Qingyuan’s was even higher, yet Shen Qingqiu’s body barely reacted to him. Still, at least now Shen Yuan knew why Shen Qingqiu had been unable to stand Liu Qingge’s guts and had started a quarrel whenever he could: anyone would go mad with a mouth-watering dish standing right in front of them, completely out of reach! Or perhaps Shen Qingqiu had tried to scare Liu Qingge away, lest he lost his control and attacked?.. No, impossible, the villain couldn’t be so selfless. Especially since Liu Qingge could easily fight off any of Shen Qingqiu’s attacks.

Perhaps it was the beauty? The more attractive the person, the better the smell? Shen Yuan shuddered, afraid to imagine his possible encounter with Liu Mingyan. Well, he could test the hypothesis later. For now Shen Yuan had more important things to do: he’d safely avoided the plot arc with Liu Qingge’s murder, now he needed to prepare for  Sha Hualing’s attack. And to unlock the body’s abilities. Could Shen Qingqiu turn into a giant bat? Or mist? Fly without a sword? What else could vampires do?

Yeah, tough luck, Shen Yuan. You wish.

No matter. Shen Yuan could fly on the sword. On the other hand, he wasn’t afraid of silver, nor garlic (he’d had some time to experiment) or sunlight. Even his skin didn’t glow in the sun (although Shen Yuan wouldn’t have put it past Airplane to plagiarise such a garbage idea).

After the demon invasion arc Shen Yuan had to revise his conclusions.

First of all, the smell didn’t depend on the person’s beauty. Liu Mingyan didn’t smell better than Ning Yingying – and definitely not better than her brother.

Second of all, when Liu Qingge wasn’t injured, Shen Yuan could more or less stand his presence. Yes, it was awkward, the same kind of awkward as when Shen Yuan had been a teenager and his dick had reacted to every girl passing by and even to a boy from another class, – but it was tolerable. Shen Yuan was an adult, perfectly capable of suppressing bodily urges.

Third of all, Yue Qingyuan and Mu Qingfang knew of Shen Jiu’s vampire nature, but not Liu Qingge. Or rather, that had been the case. When the four of them were discussing Without-a-Cure, Mu Qingfang mentioned “possible side effects”, then elaborated a bit under Shen Yuan’s and Liu Qingge’s baffled gazes. That was when Shen Yuan found out that Shen Jiu had already been a vampire when he’d come to Cangqiong, that he’d always drunk a cup of blood every two weeks and no more, that the quality of blood didn’t really depend on the donor’s spiritual power and had nothing to do with the blood type, that Shen Yuan shouldn’t lick the wounds because his saliva had anti-healing properties (all right, that was logical, Airplane had at least thought that much through). The System beeped and added a few dozen points for “discovering new information about the character”, Liu Qingge frowned, but stayed silent, and Shen Yuan internally slapped his own cheek to distract himself from the blue veins partially covered by the steel vambrace and the slender fingers clutching the porcelain cup.

How dare Liu Qingge take the best tea set and the most expensive tea from the shelf without even asking!

Little by little Shen Yuan got used to it – both the strange body and its peculiarities. Nevertheless, the moment Shen Yuan met Airplane, he grabbed the chance to say everything he had pent up: after all, his current suffering was the hack author’s fault!

“Bro, calm down!” Shang Qinghua screeched, running away from the furious Shen Yuan across the whole room. “I didn’t know it’d be like this! I originally intended to make Shen Qingqiu a Heavenly Demon!”

“I could’ve been a Heavenly Demon?!” Shen Yuan choked on his frustration about the injustice of fate and doubled his efforts to hit the damn scumbag of a writer with a fan. Airplane crouched, covering his head with his arms.

“Hey! Stop, it hurts! It really hurts, please, that’s enough!.. I’ll tell you everything, there’s no need for torture! Yes, I wanted to highlight the parallels between the protagonist and the villain, to show it wasn’t all cut and clear, that Shen Qingqiu saw himself in Luo Binghe and hated him because of that… all right, I changed my mind, sue me!”

“Don’t give me ideas,” Shen Yuan got tired of brandishing his fan and plopped on the sitting pillow. Shang Qinghua carefully sat down next to him and put a teapot under Shen Yuan’s nose.

“Want some tea?..”

“…Might as well.”

The Anding peak tea was fine, although worse than the sorts Shen Yuan had gotten used to: when Liu Qingge had started to frequent the bamboo hut, he’d quickly brought incredibly expensive tisanes, even brewed them himself to avoid “drinking swill”, as he’d eloquently put it.

“Come on, you wouldn’t be saved by the Heavenly Demon abilities,” Shang Qinghua chattered, waving his arms fussily. “And you wouldn’t get a lot of abilities to begin with: I needed to draw a parallel, not to make an OP villain. And I wanted a psychological standoff to begin with, not a common squabble. Some heightened regeneration, more spiritual energy than an average cultivator had, that’d be enough. Then I scratched the idea and explained Shen Qingqiu’s abilities with his natural talent.”

Shen Yuan slowly nodded, accepting the explanation.

“Why’d you make him a vampire then?”

“I didn’t,” Shang Qinghua said, not unreasonably. “I just thought about it, but never intended to include it in the text.”

“I wish you had,” Shen Yuan lost his cool again. “At least I’d have been prepared!.. Why did you even make Shen Qingqiu a vampire, can you explain that?”

“Because I wanted to.” Shang Qinghua had the gall to shrug. “Back then all sorts of monsters were popular. Why do you care? I’m the author, I think about all kinds of things.”

“Why do I care? Why do I care?! I all but ripped Liu Qingge’s neck to shreds in the caves! I was this close to a Shen Qingqiu trial 2.0!”

“Wait, wait,” Shang Qinghua frowned. “Tore his neck to shreds? I mean, I know he was bleeding out, but you should be able to control…”

“I am! But Liu Qingge… damn it, what’s even flowing in his veins? The moment I sense the smell, it drives me crazy. I can see why the original goods couldn’t keep his cool in his presence.”

“The original goods couldn’t keep his cool because he’s a jealous son of a bitch,” Shang Qinghua replied, surprisingly disinterestedly. “Liu Qingge is talented, handsome, from a good family, so Shen Qingqiu couldn’t stand his guts. It had nothing to do with the smell… hey, do you react like that to others?”

“No.”

“Wow!” Shang Qinghua giggled nastily. “Congratulations, bro, you’ve found your soulmate!”

“Huh?..” Shen Yuan was so baffled he didn’t even try to hit the damn keyboard-pusher.

“You’re attracted to him. Desire him. You have a boner for him, to put it simply.” Airplane must have lost all fear. “I jokingly thought about something similar, for vampires to have one true soulmate… briefly entertained the idea of writing a bloodsucking girl for Luo Binghe’s harem, but then I forgot. And I didn’t want to deal with the lore: to create a whole new race, explain where they’d come from, how they fit into this world…”

“Where’d Shen Qingqiu come from then?”

“His teacher experimented with dark energy, and this was the result. Shen Qingqiu was his guinea pig.”

“What sort of a shitty backstory…” Shen Yuan mumbled perplexedly before coming back to his senses. “What are we even talking about? I don’t have a boner for Liu Qingge! I’m into girls!”

“If you were, you’d want a girl’s blood,” Shang Qinghua wiggled his eyebrows. “Don’t worry, Liu Qingge plays for your team. Go on and drag him to bed. Especially since any physiological fluid will quench your thirst. Any at all .”

Shen Yuan snapped and chased after Shang Qinghua with a fan. Then they started discussing more relevant issues, like “how do we not die”, and the dirty hints gradually moved to the back of Shen Yuan’s mind, then grew completely forgotten.

Especially since in the end he didn’t have to die. Shen Yuan wasn’t completely into girls after all, and Luo Binghe did eventually drag a “bloodsucker” into his bed, albeit not a pretty sister, but his old teacher.

After all the nerve-wracking events Shen Yuan’s daily life finally came back to normal. Although Yue Qingyuan’s visits were now accompanied by Binghe’s jealous whining and complaints of “shizun, I could give you my own blood”, Shen Yuan was relentless. He’d had enough of Heavenly Demons’ blood for a lifetime, thank you very much! His reliable shixiong was way better. And yes, Shen Yuan’s refusal to change his routine led to him and Binghe never staying in the demonic realm or travelling for long, which, in turn, resulted in more whining, but Shen Yuan was willing to suffer through minor discomforts for his spouse’s sake.

Minor discomforts only. Even Shen Yuan’s patience had its limits.

He gave a lesson in a good mood: his kids quickly grasped the material, only asked relevant questions, almost everyone was able to repeat what they’d seen on the second or third try. Shen Yuan was so happy he almost opted to let them go early and spend more time with his husband: lately Binghe had acted more jealous than usual, it’d do him some good to mollify him.

Shen Yuan’s pleasant thoughts were interrupted by the terrified Ming Fan.

“Shizun, that… that… Luo Binghe is fighting Liu-shishu.”

Shen Yuan jumped to his feet. After quickly telling the kids to stay and wait, he rushed to the training grounds. What happened? Liu Qingge had probably stopped by to leave another trophey, and Binghe… Binghe had started a fight. Shen Yuan had no doubts about which one of them had been the instigator. He tried not to think about the possible outcome of their battle.

Shen Yuan would be able to make it in time. He had to.

The smell hit his nose so unexpectedly Shen Yuan stumbled. His head seemed stuffed full of cotton, a veil fluttering before his eyes. The fangs in his mouth sharpened and grew of their own accord, painfully pressing against lips. Shen Yuan shook in fear. At this rate he wouldn’t stop the fight but finish Liu Qingge off. He couldn’t, couldn’t…

Shen Yuan didn’t remember what happened next. He came back to his senses in the bamboo hut, bandaging Liu Qingge’s forearm with clean cloth. Apparently, the other wounds had already been treated.

“How are you?” Shen Yuan asked, baffled at how quiet and raspy it came out. As if he was sick… or had been screaming for a long time.

Liu Qingge hummed something, then must have noticed Shen Yuan’s worry and deigned to reply properly.

“Nothing major, don’t fret. The mongrel isn’t that strong without his demonic sword, I can go toe to toe with him.”

“I’d rather not test it,” Shen Yuan said coolly. Liu Qingge suddenly smirked.

“Yeah, I thought so.”

Shen Yuan was so baffled he let Liu Qingge go without scolding him. Then he absent-mindedly licked the remaining blood off his palms, greedily downed the water in which he’d rinsed the cloth after cleaning Liu Qingge’s wounds.

Ambrosia.

Shen Yuan had forgotten this taste. Come to think of it, he hadn’t seen Liu Qingge injured… right, since the Lingxi Caves. Of course, there had also been the fight in Huanhua Palace, when Shen Yuan had helped Liu Qingge take back the original goods’ corpse, but back then Shen Yuan had been in the plant body.

Pity he’d been unable to keep it. The body had been OP and not even remotely subject to bloodthirst.

Someone scratched at the door. Shen Yuan hastily licked the last drops of blood off the table, straightened his back and tried to look impassive.

“Who is it?..”

“Shizun, may I come in?” Binghe asked quietly, barely audibly. Well, good thing he’d at least waited for Liu Qingge to leave… Shen Yuan wouldn’t put it past his husband to have spent the whole time jealously sitting outside the window.

Well. He needed to have a serious conversation with Binghe. Another fight like that – and Shen Yuan risked killing a close friend whom he owed a great deal.

“What did you want?”

The door opened. Binghe was standing behind it, his head hung so low the dark curly strands were almost hiding his face.

“Is shizun… still mad at me?”

“What do you think?” Shen Yuan replied drily. Binghe beamed at him, and Shen Yuan internally scolded himself: bad time for ambiguous answers! He knew full well Binghe would interpret any shred of doubt in his favour. “Yes, I am.”

“Oh…” Binghe wilted, and Shen Yuan was almost overcome by pity… almost. The memory of his fear was too fresh in his mind.

“This cannot happen again. Ever. Do you understand?”

“But shizun, he started…”

“I don’t care!” Shen Yuan slammed the desk with his palm, coughed and continued more quietly. “Next time Liu Qingge comes to Qingjing you’re going to apologise to him. On your knees. For everything starting from Huayue. You’re going to promise to never do that again, give him generous gifts, beg him for a chance to atone. And after that you will never ever in any circumstances dare to harm him. Even if he attacks you first and tries to kill you. Is that clear?”

“I see shizun would hate it if something happened to Liu Qingge,” Binghe said drily. All traces of tears vanished off his face. “This disciple had no idea how much shizun cared for Liu Qingge.”

“Do you understand me?” Shen Yuan didn’t want the conversation to steer away, but Binghe suddenly refused to budge.

“Shizun didn’t give a damn when those Baizhan bullies chased after me with drawn swords, but the moment Liu Qingge is in danger, shizun rushes to his aid. Why does shizun value him so much? Why is shizun so afraid I’ll harm him?”

Shen Yuan clenched his teeth. Should he tell Binghe the truth? No, out of question: that’d only add to Binghe’s jealousy. Binghe was already upset about Shen Yuan refusing to drink his blood. If Binghe, gods forbid, spoke to Airplane and found out about the stupid “soulmate” theory…

“Luo Binghe. I see you still don’t understand.”

The hissing whisper made Luo Binghe shut up, wince and raise his tearful eyes at Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan flinched. He couldn’t stand the sight of tears… and yet this time he had to overcome himself. He couldn’t allow today’s events to repeat.

“You’ll do everything I’ve told you. And until then you’ll sleep in the shed… or at your palace, if you prefer. Any of the two.”

“I… but I…”

“I won’t kick you off the peak. But don’t hope I’ll keep indulging you or covering for you in front of my martial siblings. You’ve forgotten the limits, you were way over the line – and you’ll be punished for that.”

“Shizun, but you said you… you’d always be…”

“You don’t have to apologise,” Shen Yuan interrupted. “But in that case don’t call me shizun any longer. Get off the peak. You have your domain, you can stay there. If you want to remain a Qingjing peak adept, however, then behave as befit an adept of our sect.”

“I… yes, shizun,” Binghe mumbled. Shen Yuan thought the tears pouring down his cheeks weren’t fake this time, but…

But if Shen Yuan didn’t make his point now, it’d get worse in the future. Today Binghe had injured Liu Qingge, and what would he do tomorrow if he thought he could get away with this sort of escapades? Shen Yuan loved his husband more than life itself, but he also valued his martial brothers and his disciples, he’d die for them without a second thought. And he didn’t want to be constantly afraid for them.

“You said that you’ve recognised the error of your ways? That you’d act differently from now on? Prove it. With your actions, not empty platitudes.”

“Will shizun… let me move my belongings to the shed?” Binghe asked, barely audibly. Shen Yuan pondered. If he agreed, Binghe would spend the rest of the day wandering around the bamboo hut, throwing pitiful gazes at Shen Yuan from under his eyelashes. If he refused… Binghe would just sleep in his old room. Which had everything necessary, Shen Yuan was sure of it.

“I won’t. Dismissed.”

His own words hurt him, reminding of the original Shen Qingqiu’s icy tone. Damn it, Shen Yuan had promised to himself he’d never upset Binghe, never be cruel to him!.. But what choice did he have? He’d already spoilt this child way too much – and he had to take responsibility.

Shen Yuan would apologise for being so strict. Later. Once he knew Luo Binghe had learnt his lesson.

The next few days went peacefully. After cautiously interrogating Ning Yingying, Shen Yuan found out his spell of frenzy hadn’t lasted long: he’d only reached the bamboo hut, thrown himself between the two squabblers, dragged Liu Qingge away to “provide him first aid” and yelled at Luo Binghe so loudly the whole peak had heard. Contrary to Shen Yuan’s expectations, no one judged him. Far from it, in fact: Ming Fan and the others seemed to have cheered up and ardently approved of Shen Yuan’s decisive actions. Well, one less headache for him.

Luo Binghe had made several attempts to crawl back to the marital bed, but Shen Yuan stopped him with growing irritation. He’d clearly stated what was required! And he hadn’t asked for much! Come to think of it, Shen Yuan had once demanded for Luo Binghe to officially apologise, but back then Binghe had changed the subject, and soon after that Maigu Ridge had happened, Shen Yuan had been distracted, felt sorry for his not-yet-husband… Now that his pity had dulled a bit, scales seemed to have fallen off Shen Yuan’s eyes. He clearly saw that Binghe’s tears were fake, saw his attempts to manipulate – sometimes awkward, sometimes well thought out.

After Liu Mingyan came to the bamboo hut with a request to “have some pity for your lover, Shen-shibo, he’s suffering and wilting without you”, Shen Yuan’s patience was exhausted. First he complained about the girl’s insolence to Qi Qingqi, then to Yue Qingyuan, then went to Liu Qingge. After all, Liu Mingyan wasn’t close to Shen Yuan, by what right did she believe herself entitled to intervene in Shen Yuan’s private life?

Shen Yuan found Liu Qingge at the base of Baizhan peak, dressed in his travel cloak and ready to depart.

“Is shidi in a hurry?”

To be honest, Shen Yuan had grown soft after his conversation with Yue Qingyuan; his anger at Liu Mingyan had receded, and if Liu Qingge was really busy, Shen Yuan wouldn’t distract and delay him.

“Rabid hounds in one of the southern villages,” Liu Qingge replied shortly. “In a hurry.”

Shen Yuan startled. Despite their deceptively simple name, rabid hounds were incredibly dangerous beasts created with dark magic. Someone eager to take revenge (and that had to be a sincere and burning desire) dug the graves of his enemies’ family, burnt the bodies, then mixed the ashes with their own blood and left it buried under a place of execution for three years. That resulted in angry beasts with bodies of shadow; blood tears were constantly dripping from their eyes. No one could hide from the rabid hounds, they found their victims anywhere, then sucked out their souls and tore their bodies apart. Usually rabid hounds didn’t attack other people, but they could send nightmares to those who tried to fight them.

“Do you know who summoned them and why?”

“No. But a noble-born family was attacked. It’s now protected by two adepts of a local sect, but their talismans won’t last long.”

Shen Yuan slowly nodded. A murder of a rabid hound required enormous spiritual power; ordinary provincial cultivators couldn’t do it.

“Is shidi intending to go on his own?”

“I’ll take Yang Yixuan.”

Shen Yuan frowned.

“Yang Yixuan is too young and inexperienced. Shidi should…”

“If you want to come along, just say it,” Liu Qingge interrupted. Shen Yuan snorted and wanted to refuse, but… he really was curious to see the beasts. Besides, Liu Qingge would clearly have to investigate, find out who’d summoned the hounds and why, and Shen Yuan could use a mini-quest.

“Fine. Then I’ll accompany shidi, with shidi’s permission. Send Yang Yixuan back, he has no business participating in such dangerous tasks.”

“And your mongrel?”

Shen Yuan automatically raised his fan and bit his lip. Liu Qingge was right: Binghe would definitely be mad and upset, perhaps even throw a jealousy fit… on the other hand, what was Shen Yuan afraid of? Xinmo had long been destroyed and had no more power over Binghe, and without the sword Binghe wouldn’t cause destruction and attack innocents…

Shen Yuan shook his head. What was he thinking? Binghe had attacked Liu Qingge but a week ago! And he’d earned his punishment. Even if he felt tormented for a while, that’d do him some good: let him get used to the idea that the sky wouldn’t fall down because of Shen Yuan leaving for a mission, accompanied by his martial brother.

“He’ll manage.”

Liu Qingge smirked approvingly, and Shen Yuan smiled back, feeling like a rebellious teenager. He quickly wrote two notes: one for Ming Fan, another one for Luo Binghe. If Shen Yuan just disappeared, Binghe might follow. But now Shen Yuan had left his husband no loopholes: the note clearly stated that by the time of Liu Qingge’s return Binghe was supposed to prepare an apology and gifts.

The travel only took a few hours. First Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge arrived to the estate in question, let the exhausted local cultivators go, replaced the evil-repelling talismans with more powerful ones, then started interrogating the victims. Alas, those truly had no answers: the head of the family had died first, and his habit of hiding everything from his loved ones complicated the investigation further.

“You go on, and I’ll deal with the hounds,” Liu Qingge suggested after a few hours of fruitless questions. Shen Yuan immediately grabbed his sleeve.

“No way! I told shidi I’d accompany him, and I intend to keep my word.”

Fighting rabid hounds on his own was dangerous: the frightful hallucinations they caused could drive one to a heart attack or, in case of a cultivator, to a heart demon. One had to watch the fight and bring Liu Qingge back to his senses, if necessary, which was why Shen Yuan had invited himself along.

However, his worry proved to be baseless: Liu Qingge dealt with the pack deceptively easily. Last time, at Tianlang-jun’s camp, Liu Qingge had moved more slowly, hadn’t he? Had he achieved another breakthrough in the meantime? Shen Yuan shook his head in admiration: as expected from the War God! At this rate Liu Qingge could actually catch up to Binghe, especially if Binghe kept spending his days at the bamboo hut, doing nothing but cooking and having sex…

“Are you all right, Liu-shidi?”

“They’re weaker than they should be.”

The comment caught Shen Yuan by surprise.

“Has shidi fought such beasts before?”

Liu Qingge paused before answering.

“A long time ago. I was accompanying shizun.”

“Oh.” Shen Yuan approached and squatted, moved the ashes left from the hounds with Xiuya’s sheathe. “Your shizun… what was he like?”

“You don’t remember that either?”

“Alas,” Shen Yuan lied, glad that Liu Qingge couldn’t see his face at the moment.

“He was… very calm. Distant and closed off. I could never guess what he was thinking.”

Shen Yuan hummed ambiguously, then knelt and started sieving the ashes through his fingers. Liu Qingge leaned closer, and now Shen Yuan felt the hot breath on his cheek.

“Are you looking for blood?”

Shen Yuan nodded, happy he didn’t have to explain anything. A human who’d created the mad hounds must have given them a fill of his own blood. If they hurried, perhaps Shen Yuan would be able to find a clot and use it. The hounds could track their victims anywhere, but their creator also temporarily became vulnerable and could be tracked down. That was one of the reasons why the technique wasn’t used often.

“Do you… need help? Perhaps you shouldn’t…”

Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow, but immediately realised Liu Qingge was hinting at his vampiric nature.

“This is exactly why I should. I’ll be able to easily sense what we need.”

Shen Yuan lied a bit: with Liu Qingge standing right next to him, the mouthwatering aroma was overwhelming, distracting Shen Yuan from all other smells. Even if someone else was bleeding right under Shen Yuan’s nose at the moment, Shen Yuan wouldn’t notice. He just had to rely on his other senses.

Speaking of which…

“Found it!” Shen Yuan smeared the slimy, almost black clot over a clean slate for a talisman, dipped his finger into the ashes and drew the array. A messy-looking talisman flew off and hovered in the air for a few seconds, then quickly headed south. Liu Qingge immediately jumped on Chengluan; Shen Yuan wiped his hands with a clean handkerchief and hastily followed.

The youth they tracked down didn’t try to deny his involvement for long. Apparently, the head of the targeted family had found himself a mistress; the woman had been scared of a highborn official’s anger, so she’d played a meek infatuated sheep, but in reality she had had no wish to share the man’s bed. Finally the official had had to leave, and he hadn’t hesitated to dump the disgraced maiden with a growing belly. Luckily, a local man had found the poor thing in the forest, where she’d intended to take her own life, convinced her to marry him, cherished and loved her, raised her newborn son as his own.

When the son had been fifteen, his adoptive father had died of illness. The mother had soon followed. She’d revealed the truth to her son on her deathbed, even given him a jade pendant – the only thing the official had left her.

“So you wanted to take revenge for your mother’s fate?” Liu Qingge seemed deeply moved by the story. Shen Yuan got so distracted admiring the blue veinlet on Liu Qingge’s temple he almost missed the next words.

“Revenge? I came to him and told him everything! Am I not his son? How am I worse than his fools of legitimate children? I wanted him to accept me as part of his family, to shower me in riches… I’ve never seen such splendor in my life! But I got thrown out, lashed. Bastards! Why do they have everything when I have nothing?”

Liu Qingge shuddered in disgust, but the youth noticed nothing, too absorbed in his drama.

“I wanted to remain the only heir, to claim what was rightfully mine… Who’d have thought the scum would squirm out! Bloody cultivators, you have no idea what it’s like for mortals… You have no right to judge! I haven’t done anything!”

Liu Qingge silently slapped the youth, throwing him into a corner. Shen Yuan sent a talisman after the boy to seal his mouth shut. The youth clearly loved the sound of his own voice, and his venting gave Shen Yuan a headache.

“No wonder his hounds were so weak,” Liu Qingge muttered. Shen Yuan nodded in agreement: such envy couldn’t hold a candle to actual righteous fury. It was sincere, but sincerity on its own wasn’t enough to create beasts of vengeance.

“What are we going to do with  him?”

“Give him to the city guards. Let them figure out the due punishment for murdering an official.”

Shen Yuan winced: from what he knew, the youth would face torture and a slow execution… on the other hand, Shen Yuan didn’t feel inclined to take the youth under his wing. Yes, technically the head of the family, a rapist and a scum, had been the only victim, so Cangqiong sect could stand up for a jianghu cultivator, at least send him to Zhaohua temple to be rehabilitated… but should they really start a conflict with the authorities over such a lowly outcast?

Liu Qingge believed they shouldn’t. Shen Yuan shared his thoughts, but Liu Qingge merely huffed in response.

“He has an emperor’s advisor’s blood running through his veins. They’ll hit him with sticks, then decapitate him. He won’t be quartered or skinned. Save your pity for someone who’s worthy of it.”

Shen Yuan proudly kept his silence in response to a hurtful but fair hint.

The city guards quickly took the criminal away. A plump wheezy official meticulously questioned Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge on the course of their investigation, wrote down every word, then wiped sweat off his forehead.

“Esteemed cultivators, if this lowly one could ask you for a favour?”

Shen Yuan opened his fan and raised an eyebrow: he’d spent a lot of time rehearsing the expression in front of a mirror and was certain he’d achieved the effect he’d wanted.

“We shall listen.”

“A beast appeared on the mountain next to the city… our city guards have been trying to catch it for two months, but all in vain! Could you?.. We’ll pay, honestly! Three people already got bitten to death, five more wounded, and so much cattle lost… People are suffering.”

Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge exchanged glances, then Liu Qingge jerked his shoulder. Of course, they weren’t obligated to agree, they could even send disciples in their stead…

“We’ll stop by your mountain, look for traces,” Shen Yuan finally decided. “If your beast is an ordinary wild animal, Cangqiong sect will send adepts to assist you. If it’s something powerful, we’ll deal with it.”

The official beamed, profusely thanked them, swore that he’d prepare all the necessary papers himself and that Cangqiong wouldn’t be left wanting. Liu Qingge left without bothering to listen; Shen Yuan hastily apologised and followed.

They quickly found the location. Liu Qingge, previously silent and sullen, cheered up a bit: the mountain stank of dark qi so much it made Shen Yuan teary-eyed. Whatever the beast was, it was a worthy prey for a peak lord. Shen Yuan raised the corner of his lips and let Liu Qingge take the lead.

The monster had been wreaking havoc long enough, and the claw marks were everywhere. Shen Yuan squinted, approached a broken tree trunk and pulled a thin, almost transparent needle out of the bark.

“A bone-crushing echidna? Or a blighted bristled wolf?”

“A wolf’s marks would be higher,” Liu Qingge replied confidently. Shen Yuan hummed. A bone-crushing echidna changed between three forms, and they needed to kill all three of them. The beast ate marrow – not necessarily human marrow, the beast wasn’t picky and often attacked cattle. Besides, the needles that a scared echidna threw around were soaked in paralysing venom.

Shen Yuan explained all that on the way. Liu Qingge silently nodded, but Shen Yuan knew he wasn’t wasting his breath: Liu Qingge was listening attentively, and Shen Yuan’s words could save his life in combat.

At some moment the dark qi became too thick, so they could no longer use it to determine the direction. Horrified, Shen Yuan imagined roaming the mountain for hours, but luckily they almost immediately stumbled upon an inconspicuous cave. The crunch of bones coming from the darkness left no room for doubts: Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge had found their prey.

The fight with the echidna was long and excruciating: Shen Yuan was attacking from afar, throwing leaves filled to the brim with spiritual energy at the beast’s vulnerable points. Liu Qingge, as usual, was distracting the beast, not letting it close. Two forms died quickly, but the snake form took some effort: the beast must have been a snake to begin with. Its speed increased, the poison dripping from its fangs burned through the ground, the skin became so thick even Chengluan couldn’t pierce it, and the tail had a heavy spiked knot, which the monster used as a club.

Too busy admiring the monster, Shen Yuan missed, and the leaf he’d prepared didn’t hit the snake eye, sliding off the thick scales instead. The beast hissed, crawled closer, Shen Yuan hastily jumped on Xiuya to escape the danger, but the snake got on its hind legs, spat poison at him accurately, burning a hole in the silk robe’s hem. Liu Qingge used the chance to jump and chop off the snake’s head with one blow. The dying beast thrashed, a spiked knot grazed Liu Qingge, and Shen Yuan choked – first in worry for his dumb shidi, then from the mindblowing smell.

He needed to run as far as he could, give Liu Qingge some time to treat the wound, but Shen Yuan couldn’t. What if the echidna’s blood had gotten into Liu Qingge’s circulatory system? Of course, the poison was merely paralysing, but leaving a companion on his own in such circumstances wasn’t a smart choice…

Shen Yuan awkwardly approached, telling himself to endure. Just for a little while: a cultivator of Liu Qingge’s caliber could quickly heal his wounds. Shen Yuan repeated a mantra in his head: not to breathe, not to make any sudden movements, not to look at the red drops flowing down Liu Qingge’s temple and bridge of his nose… Forehead injuries weren’t dangerous, but they bled a lot…

Shen Yuan only closed his eyes for a moment, to fight the temptation – but he came back to his senses pressing Liu Qingge to a tree trunk and licking the blood off his face. Strangely enough, Liu Qingge didn’t try to push Shen Yuan away, merely held him by the elbows, lest Shen Yuan lost his balance. Having recovered a bit, Shen Yuan wanted to step away, but couldn’t. He was pulled to Liu Qingge, drawn to him – and he could no longer resist.

Liu Qingge cocked his head to the side, pulled his high collar down, uncovering his neck.

“You can bite if you want to.”

The temptation was so great Shen Yuan almost agreed. But… no, he didn’t know the possible consequences of a bite. Yes, Liu Qingge would push Shen Yuan away if Shen Yuan went too far, but what if the bites had side effects? Shen Yuan had never bitten anyone directly and couldn’t be sure Airplane hadn’t forgotten to mention a piece of his shitty lore.

Shaking his head, Shen Yuan pressed the tips of his fingers to Liu Qingge’s face, forcing him to tilt his head and assume a more comfortable position, then started licking off the flowing blood. He had the self-restraint not to touch the wound: Shen Yuan remembered the properties of his saliva. But what he allowed himself was already enough: the fresh blood mixed with drops of sweat made Shen Yuan moan in pleasure, pressing into Liu Qingge’s body, feeling the pulse under Liu Qingge’s skin, the heaving of his chest, the tension of his muscles… The hard cock pressing against Shen Yuan’s thigh.

Kissing Liu Qingge was so easy and natural Shen Yuan even felt surprised for a moment. Then his head became empty: Shen Yuan was drinking Liu Qingge’s breath, Shen Yuan’s palms sliding under Liu Qingge’s clothes, squeezing everything they could reach, caressing, pinching, trying to memorise what prompted a reaction. A drop of sweat was running down Liu Qingge’s neck; Shen Yuan licked it off too, then went lower. Liu Qingge helped him untangle the ties of his clothing with shaking hands, then clutched Shen Yuan’s shoulders, not trying to push him away as Shen Yuan gladly licked every nook of Liu Qingge’s skin before getting to the main dish.

Up until today Shen Yuan had never blown anyone. Binghe was more interested in taking Shen Yuan, he’d never suggested using their mouths, and Shen Yuan had been too embarrassed. Not that he wanted to… before today. His squeamishness disappeared without a trace, especially since Liu Qingge tasted like a delicious treat. Right, Airplane had mentioned Shen Yuan’s thirst could be quenched with any liquid, not just blood…

“Shen… I won’t last long…”

Shen Yuan hummed something approvingly and pressed as close as he could in order not to miss a single drop. That was enough for Liu Qingge: Shen Yuan relished his loud moan and shivering, so strong Shen Yuan had to hold Liu Qingge by the waist to keep him from falling down. The seed slid down Shen Yuan’s throat into the depths of his body, and Shen Yuan covered his eyes in pleasure, savouring every drop.

He wanted more. He wanted to find a room with a bed… oh, to hell with the room, Shen Yuan was willing to continue right here! Stay on his knees until Liu Qingge got it up again, bring him to the peak time after time, then take him – drowsy and relaxed. Come inside, lick him clean and repeat until Shen Yuan’s tongue hurt.

Liu Qingge mumbled something, pulled Shen Yuan close, kissed, then turned them around so that Shen Yuan was the one with his back pressed to the coarse tree bark. Shen Yuan grumbled unhappily: he’d almost forgotten of his own arousal, pleasuring Liu Qingge was far more interesting. However…

“Does Liu-shidi want to go further?”

Please say yes , Shen Yuan begged internally. If Liu Qingge agreed, Shen Yuan would gladly spread his legs right here on the ground, he’d even ask for it! Alas, to Shen Yuan’s disappointment, Liu Qingge merely shook his head.

“I’ve just… I wanted to return the favour, that’s all.”

“Next time then!” Shen Yuan wanted to say it demandingly, but it came out almost like Binghe’s whining. Shen Yuan shuddered: he definitely had no intention of getting a pity-shag or manipulating Liu Qingge’s feelings. “If shidi is willing, of course.”

“Does it look like I’m not?” Liu Qingge smirked. “Next time. However you wish. Whenever you wish…”

Shen Yuan smiled, comforted by the promise, then lightly pressed on the back of Liu Qingge’s head, pulling him closer to Shen Yuan’s groin: not forcefully, to give Liu Qingge a chance to pull away if he wanted to.

Liu Qingge didn’t want to.

Feeling the pliant wet mouth close around his dick, Shen Yuan reconsidered his recent thought. Yes, licking Liu Qingge felt insanely good, Shen Yuan would gladly repeat it a few times, but receiving such caress was also great. Shen Yuan’s arousal quickly grew, and he gasped, then startled, consumed by a new idea.

“I’m close… Shidi, could you please not swallow?”

Liu Qingge hummed something affirmative, which was enough for Shen Yuan to fall over the edge. Liu Qingge coughed, pulled away, intending to spit out, but Shen Yuan grasped his shoulder in time.

“Come here.”

Shen Yuan had always skipped such scenes in porn: he’d been too squeamish. But now he gladly licked the stains of his own seed mixed with the remains of dried blood off Liu Qingge’s face. Liu Qingge didn’t resist, he easily allowed Shen Yuan to shove his tongue down Liu Qingge’s throat, to grope him, to squeeze his buttock in Shen Yuan’s palm… Shen Yuan uttered a broken sigh.

“We should find an inn… and continue there.”

“We can’t.” Liu Qingge turned grim. “I had an agreement with Yue-shixiong that if I didn’t come back from the mission in two days, he’d send help. No one expected the hounds to be so weak.”

Shen Yuan groaned in disappointment.

“Shidi!.. Who knows when we’ll be able to hunt together again!”

“Whenever we want. Or what, will you be chained to Qingjing upon your return?”

Shen Yuan slowly shook his head. He wouldn’t be chained, but Binghe would definitely stick to his side after such an absence… No matter. Shen Yuan stopped himself from thinking of his husband. Not now.

“Then… I’ll contact you once I have an opportunity.”

“You can come to Baizhan anytime,” Liu Qingge promised. Of course, the invitation was a mere formality: Shen Yuan already visited the warriors’ peak whenever he wanted. Still, Liu Qingge’s words pleasantly warmed Shen Yuan’s chest.

They came back to Cangqiong separately: Liu Qingge needed to speak to Yue Qingyuan, to report on the mission results, to tell him about the echidna, so that Qiongding peak could send someone to collect the payment. Shen Yuan headed for Anding, to interrogate Airplane.

Shang Qinghua looked shitty: badly concealed bruises on his neck, bitten lips, reddened eyes. Shen Yuan frowned.

“Look, if it’s so bad, I can help you deal with it.”

“Huh?..” Shang Qinghua blinked in bafflement. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re rasping.”

“Yeah, I have a sore throat.” Shang Qinghua coughed unconvincingly. “Must have caught something.”

“Are the bruises on your neck also a symptom of an illness?”

“What bruises? There are no bruises!” Shang Qinghua yelled, then went limp. “If only you knew, bro, how much I miss turtlenecks…”

“Do you need help or not?”

Shang Qinghua giggled and waved him off.

“Don’t bother, bro. Tell me, why are you here? And don’t say it’s just to pay me a visit, I won’t believe it. Did Baizhan louts break something again?”

“No,” Shen Yuan replied automatically, then paused. Who knew what could have happened at the peak in his absence? Although if the “Baizhan louts” had really visited Qingjing, Shen Yuan could discuss it with Liu Qingge directly. The status of Liu Qingge’s lover gave him such a privilege, didn’t it?.. And that was also a good excuse to see Liu Qingge again, away from prying eyes and ears.

“Your eyes started shining the moment I mentioned Baizhan.” Shang Qinghua giggled maliciously and wiggled his eyebrows. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“There’s nothing to tell!” Shen Yuan grabbed the fan from his belt and waved it so forcefully a gust of wind blew a stack of documents off the windowsill.

“Yeah, I totally believe you.” Shang Qinghua had pulled out a bag of melon seeds and was now eagerly munching on them, spitting the shellings right on the desk. “Come on, bro! I’ll be silent as a fish.”

“Tell me instead,” Shen Yuan paused, wondering if he should ask, but eventually made his decision, “does the vampirism here have any hidden side effects?”

“Not that I can think of.” Shang Qinghua shrugged. “Just that you need blood in order to live.”

“So if I bite someone, nothing will happen to them?”

“Nah. A human stomach can fit in a litre and a half of liquid, and an adult human dies after losing two liters and a half, so normally you wouldn’t kill anyone. Unless you bite a child… but you don’t intend to attack children, do you? So no worries.”

“Nor will I be able to control whomever I bite? Or turn them into vampires?”

“Bro, did you even listen to my explanations? Vampires aren’t a race, the original turned into one after an experiment gone wrong. No control, no turning anyone, even if you bite every single person on Cangqiong.”

“But if it’s just an experiment, how does… Liu Qingge fit it? You’ve said some rubbish about soulmates.”

“That was back then!” Shang Qinghua had the gall to snort. “I didn’t know that you’d get together with Bing-ge.”

Shen Yuan was so baffled he spent a few moments looking for a reply.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“That’s how stories work, duh! Look, Bing-ge is the protagonist. The most powerful, the most handsome, the coolest. And Liu Qingge is a secondary character. He only exists to lose to Bing-ge, to show off Bing-ge’s abilities. Like Gongyi Xiao, Wangyi-lang and many others. Your relationship makes Bing-ge even cooler: he didn’t just get his first childhood crush, but also stole the Baizhan peak lord’s soulmate. Got it?”

“So… in theory, I didn’t have to start a relationship with Liu Qingge at all?”

“Who can force you? Actually, to call him your soulmate is an oversimplification, it’s more complicated than that. You have high compatibility of biological parameters. Like… I don’t know, imagine that your info was given to an advanced super-computer which conducted a dozen tests and said “those two are a good match, they’ll have strong kids.”

“What kids? What are you talking about?”

“Well, how do I put it… I’ve made up the lore for one of Binghe’s wives who’d bear him half-vampire quarter-demon kids. No one asks you to do the same, relax.”

Shen Yuan went limp in relief. Shang Qinghua squinted.

“Look, bro… I won’t judge, I’m not fond of judging anyone anyway. If you want to have your cake and eat it too – good luck, I won’t sell you out.”

“Speak clearly.”

Shen Yuan suspected he’d hear nothing good from Shang Qinghua, but he couldn’t just interrupt the conversation: who knew what the hack author had already imagined? The last thing Shen Yuan wanted was a second “Resentment of Chunshan”.

“If you ever want to cheat on Bing-ge, be very careful. Is this clear enough for you?”

Shen Yuan gripped the fan with such force that a thin wooden split pierced his finger and drew blood. Damn it! Airplane was right – that was what Shen Yuan was doing. Cheating on his husband. Furthermore, he’d completely forgotten his husband’s existence, hadn’t thought of his feelings! If Binghe hooked up with a pretty sister from his harem behind Shen Yuan’s back… although Shen Yuan wouldn’t really mind, come to think of it. What kind of a person was he! He couldn’t even get properly jealous!

“I’ve had enough of your nonsense,” Shen Yuan said woodenly and all but ran for the exit. Shang Qinghua turned out to be way more perceptive than Shen Yuan had expected, and it was dangerous to continue the conversation.

“Come to chat if you need anything!” Shang Qinghua yelled at his back.

Shen Yuan’s strategic retreat ended with bumping into Luo Binghe on the Rainbow Bridge.

“Shizun.” Binghe rushed to him and grabbed his hand. “You’re injured.”

What? When had Shen Yuan gotten injured? And how could he not have noticed?

While Shen Yuan was guessing, Binghe carefully made him unclench his fingers, blew air on the tiny wound, pulled out the splinter with his teeth, spat it out and immediately stomped on it.

“There was no need to start a scene over something so minor,” Shen Yuan said helplessly. Binghe looked at him seriously, then caressed his hand, and the barely visible puncture wound closed under his unwavering gaze.

“Shizun’s wellbeing isn’t minor”.

Shen Yuan felt even worse. Binghe must have been worried if he’d felt such a trifle and rushed to help…

“Shizun had only departed for a few days, yet came back injured. I knew Liu Qingge would be unable to protect you. I should have gone with.”

The guilt immediately diminished, replaced by annoyance. Shen Yuan had no intention of being scolded like a child – especially since it was his job to scold Binghe, not vice versa.

“Did you do what I’d asked you to?”

“Shizun.” Binghe lowered his gaze, “I’m so, so sorry. I’ve upset you… started a fight without thinking about your feelings. You’ve never mentioned that Liu… shishu is so important to you.”

Shen Yuan felt wounded again. Liu Qingge had always been important to him, but now he sensed an implication in Binghe’s words. Shen Yuan couldn’t show that Binghe was right.

“I’m glad you’ve realised your mistake and won’t do it again,” Shen Yuan said the second half of the phrase forcefully, frowned and wagged his fan at Binghe, who beamed and clutched Shen Yuan in his embrace until Shen Yuan’s ribs started to hurt.

“Is shizun no longer mad at me?”

“I am. Put me down.”

“Yes, shizun.”

Of course, Binghe didn’t even try to obey. Shen Yuan felt awkward from all the PDA, the idea of someone seeing the scene made him flinch… but what could he do? Kick Binghe in the kneecap? Bite him? It’d make the situation worse.

“Let’s go to Qingjing. Do you even remember you’re not actually supposed to come to Cangqiong unless it’s absolutely necessary? Walking around like it’s your domain…”

“But shizun said Qingjing peak would always be my home,” Binghe replied guilelessly.

“Qingjing peak, not Cangqiong! Follow the rules next time. If you’re calling me shizun, then you consider yourself an adept of our sect,” Shen Yuan scolded him with fake severity. Luo Binghe nodded vigorously, but Shen Yuan clearly saw Binghe was ignoring his words.

Fine. Shen Yuan would have the time to reinforce the lesson. After all, Binghe should grow used to the fact that they were both adults and wouldn’t stay glued at the hip twenty four-seven… otherwise how would Shen Yuan find the time and opportunity to continue his secret tryst?

The bamboo house met Shen Yuan with clean floors, a smell of hot food and a table set for dinner.

“When did you?..” Shen Yuan immediately grabbed his chopsticks: he could never forego Binghe’s cooking.

“When I felt you were coming back. I was waiting…”

“Felt? How so?” Shen Yuan froze, holding a piece of chicken meat. “Wait, do you mean…”

“My blood is still in shizun’s body,” Binghe said quietly. “I always know where you are.”

Shen Yuan grew cold. He’d forgotten about the heavenly demon’s blood, consumed by other problems… to be fair, he’d never liked bad memories and always tried to avoid them if he could.

“Yes, right… we need to remove it. The sooner the better.”

“Shizun doesn’t want a part of me to be inside of him?” Binghe lowered his head, so that his hair hid his face. Shen Yuan looked at his shaking shoulders without an ounce of pity. The question somehow had a nasty undertone, making Shen Yuan remember Airplane’s hint at childbirth, and Shen Yuan shivered. No, thank you, he’d rather avoid it!

“Luo Binghe!”

Binghe jumped in surprise and raised his head. Shen Yuan slammed his palm on the table.

“Open your eyes! Yes, I don’t want Heavenly Demon’s blood in my body! You know full well what it can do!”

“Heal shizun’s wounds,” Luo Binghe argued stubbornly, “help me sense if shizun needs help, find him if shizun is in trouble…”

“Hurt me,” Shen Yuan continued drily. “Make me do something I don’t want to.”

“I would never!..”

“I don’t care! I will not be leashed like your property!”

Shen Yuan went quiet, surprised at his own outburst. Luo Binghe blinked in bafflement, but, to Shen Yuan’s astonishment, didn’t tear up.

“Oh… forgive me, shizun, this disciple acted thoughtlessly.”

“If you understand, then take your blood out,” Shen Yuan demanded. Luo Binghe bit his lip.

“I don’t know how. I’ve never had to…”

“Great. Just great.” Vexed, Shen Yuan threw away his chopsticks. “Then you’ll head to Zhaohua temple as soon as possible, to ask Tianlang-jun. You two could use a conversation.”

And Shen Yuan could use some time to calm down and stay on his own… or in a good company. Which could be found at Baizhan peak, for instance.

Oh, what was going on with him?! Only thinking about one thing, like a hormonal teenager!

“Shizun… won’t accompany this disciple?” Binghe asked barely audibly. Shen Yuan averted his gaze and rose: he had no more appetite after their argument.

“You’re not a child, you can go on your own.”

“But you said you’d accompany me no matter where…”

“Enough!” Shen Yuan waved his sleeve. “Let’s finish this stupid fight. I’m tired.”

The guilt, which had quietened down, raised its ugly head again. Shen Yuan had indeed promised Luo Binghe to accompany him everywhere forever… but now he was starting to think he’d been too hasty with that. He didn’t want to leave Qingjing, especially since it’d been a while since Shen Yuan had had an occasion to spend enough time on his peak: Binghe had been whining, throwing jealousy fits and dragging Shen Yuan away to the demon realm.

“Yes, shizun.” Binghe slumped. “Shizun, perhaps you want to eat some more? I tried to…”

Shen Yuan left the room without a word.

Binghe spent the rest of the day doing chores and trying to avoid Shen Yuan. Like a concubine who’d been scolded and fallen out of favour… Shen Yuan quietly sighed, already regretting his recent harshness. Yes, he’d wanted to act strict with Binghe, but it was one thing not to indulge his every whim and another – to yell at him and be rude with him. Binghe loved him, after all… what was he going to do if Shen Yuan dumped him?

The idea of Luo Binghe tearfully picking up the shards of his broken heart made Shen Yuan too emotional. He probably needed to make amends, especially since Shen Yuan would be unable to fall asleep while knowing Binghe was unwell.

“Shizun.” As if hearing his thoughts, Binghe appeared on the doorstep with a tray full of food, “Eat a little. You haven’t had a proper dinner.”

Shen Yuan nodded, waving his hand at the low table. Binghe deftly put the dishes there, poured some tea into a cup, then stood up and headed for the exit.

“Where are you going?” Shen Yuan grabbed his sleeve. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

“This disciple believed shizun was unhappy with him and didn’t wish for his company, so this disciple avoided being clingy.”

Exactly like a scolded concubine in a fantasy drama. Previously Shen Yuan had never understood how their husbands had fallen for such cheap and obvious tricks, but now he knew the truth: when someone dear to you was so upset, it was impossible not to want to cheer them up, make them happy, oblige them. The fight affected both of them badly.

“Sit down. You haven’t eaten either, and you need to leave tomorrow.”

Luo Binghe bit his lip, frowned and bowed.

“Thanking shizun for the kindness.”

“Binghe, don’t test my patience. I’m really tired of your tricks. Act normally, and I won’t be mad. We’ll spend the evening and the, ahem, night together. But if you keep trying to manipulate me…”

“This disciple wouldn’t dare!” Binghe immediately sat down and stared at Shen Yuan with a gaze full of adoration. Just like a puppy begging for praise… Shen Yuan patted his hair, almost got his fingers tangled in the curls, but Binghe managed to turn it into a joke.

The rest of the evening was almost peaceful. Binghe was smiling, giving Shen Yuan the tastiest bits, flirting… come to think of it, that was painfully reminiscent of their past interactions, before the Abyss. Back then Shen Yuan had had no idea about his disciple’s less-than-platonic feelings, but Binghe… Binghe had clearly been trying to conquer him. Sometimes his flirting had gone way over the line, and the only reason Shen Yuan had noticed nothing had been him not having a single clue about his disciple swinging that way.

They fell on the bed together. Binghe grew bold and was hastily pulling off Shen Yuan’s clothes, painfully biting his lips, pinching his skin, grumbling impatiently. Shen Yuan jokingly pushed Binghe’s shoulder, and Binghe grabbed Shen Yuan’s wrists in retaliation, pressing Shen Yuan to the bed.

“Binghe, let me go.”

It was uncomfortable to lie like that. But his plea went unnoticed: Binghe held Shen Yuan with one hand and was groping him between the legs with the other one. The touch of dry fingers caused a flash of pain, but Shen Yuan clenched his teeth, habitually forcing himself to relax. He knew it’d get easier after the first intrusion; but if he didn’t stop the resistance now…

Binghe finally entered: up to the hilt from the first thrust. Shen Yuan’s back bent in pain, he thrashed in Binghe’s arms like a hooked fish, shook his head.

“Binghe, don’t! Wait a little, I… give me time to adjust!”

“Shizun hasn’t been with me for so long his body has forgotten mine?” Binghe’s lips shook. “This disciple is leaving shizun tomorrow, why wouldn’t shizun let this disciple have his fill for the last time?”

Because it hurt! Terribly hurt! Shen Yuan was almost certain he was bleeding again, but he didn’t dare to look. Binghe uttered a broken sigh, pulled away, and Shen Yuan went limp in relief.

“Thank you…”

“If shizun is sick with this disciple, he needn’t but to say it. No need to force yourself. This disciple… understands.”

Binghe’s eyes got teary, and yet something burning deep within his pupils made Shen Yuan wary. No, that wouldn’t do! Binghe shouldn’t know… shouldn’t suspect… Let him do as he pleased, Shen Yuan would be able to suffer through one night.

“I’m not sick with you. Nothing’s changed. Come here.”

Having obtained the permission, Binghe attacked with a newfound fervour. Shen Yuan attempted to relax as much as he could, reminding himself again and again that it’d pass. Shen Qingqiu’s body had a high pain tolerance, Shen Yuan could handle worse. And yet the powerful thrusts made his innards twist into a knot, and his throat clenched. And Shen Yuan had wanted to do the same to Liu Qingge?! What a selfish brainless moron! How could Shen Yuan force anyone to go through such torture?! No, no way. If – when – he shared a bed with Liu-shidi again… or even a forest ground… Liu-shidi would top. Shen Yuan would also feel easier that way.

The thoughts about Liu Qingge surprisingly helped Shen Yuan suffer through the pain, even his dick hardened a bit, which had delighted Binghe and caused another round. By the end of their coupling Shen Yuan was utterly exhausted: he tried to get on top, to control the force and rhythm of the thrusts, but Binghe grabbed his waist and pulled him down to the base. Like a chicken on a skewer. Shen Yuan felt sick and clenched his teeth, afraid of ruining the moment. If he vomited on his husband during sex, both of them would certainly get erectile dysfunction…

In the morning the tired and sleep-deprived Shen Yuan all but kicked Binghe out of the house, waved at his back and returned to the bamboo house, limping. A peaceful sleep until noon, a light meditation and a handful of painkilling pills helped Shen Yuan recover, but now he didn’t know what to do with himself. He wasn’t in the mood for art, especially since he’d be unable to spend a few hours in an uncomfortable position. He didn’t feel like reading either: the pills had made him dizzy, and the characters were jumping in his eyes. Nor could he see his disciples in such a pitiful state: Ming Fan would definitely rush to get a healer, or even tattle to Liu Qingge…

Shen Yuan almost jumped. Liu Qingge! That was the person he needed! Binghe had left and wouldn’t return in the next few days, now was the time to take advantage of his absense. Even if Shen Yuan was in no condition to have sex properly, he could still use his mouth… pleasure Liu-shidi and get a treat.

As Shen Yuan was stepping off the Rainbow Bridge, he realised he’d overestimated himself. He’d been able to descend Qingjing, walking on the smooth even bridge wasn’t hard, but climbing Baizhan without assistance? The small of his back was already sore, everything below was itching like from spending a long time in the same position. Shen Yuan could bet his limbs would soon start to ache.

Should he leave? But he’d have to climb Qingjing. Should he test his luck? Shen Yuan might feel unwell on the way. In the end he had to resort to cheating.

“Liu Qingge!”

Liu-shidi didn’t let him down and came to the rescue shortly: slightly disheveled and half-naked by the local standards. Only two layers of clothing, how indecent! And apparently the undershirt was clinging to the wet skin. Shen Yuan must have bothered Liu Qingge in the middle of a training session, so Liu Qingge put on his usual white-gray cloak and rushed to investigate.

The smell of Liu Qingge’s body, worked up from all the activity, reached Shen Yuan’s nostrils, and Shen Yuan licked his lips. He was eager to pull Liu Qingge’s cloak off, spread Liu Qingge on that very cloak and lick him from head to toe. Even without blood.

“You called.”

Liu Qingge’s displeased greeting pulled Shen Yuan out of his musings. Sending his shidi a guilty smile, Shen Yuan shrugged.

“I’m afraid I’m going to need shidi’s help to climb the peak…”

“Shall I carry you to Qiancao?”

“No need… with shidi’s permission, I’d like some time to breathe and recover before coming back to Qingjing. You won’t chase me away, will you?”

“When have I ever?”

He’d never chased Shen Yuan away, true enough. Perhaps Shen Qingqiu had received worse treatment, but that must have been well-deserved.

“Then… I’m counting on shidi.”

Liu Qingge shrugged and reached for Chengluan’s handle. Shen Yuan grabbed his wrist.

“We can just climb. No need for you to fly in this wind, you might get sick.”

Liu Qingge huffed with affront, as if the very idea was insulting. Shen Yuan rolled his eyes. Heavens, Liu Qingge was such a meathead! An increadibly handsome, reliable and loyal, but still a meathead.

“And shidi might show me the beauty of his peak on the way…”

“As if you haven’t seen it before,” Liu Qingge retaliated sulkily. Shen Yuan smirked and explained openly.

“I might have missed some secluded places where people usually don’t go and where me and shidi could have some very pleasant time.”

“Oh.” Liu Qingge blinked in bafflement, blushed and took his palm off his sword. “All right. Are you in any state for?..”

“Shidi,” Shen Yuan drawled reproachfully, then couldn’t hold back, “I’m always in the state for you.”

Normally Shen Yuan would die of embarrassment before saying something like that out lout, but… Liu Qingge was his lover, right? Shen Yuan had the right to flirt. More importantly, Liu Qingge still remained an incredibly handsome and attractive meathead and likely wouldn’t pay attention to Shen Yuan’s cringeworthy lines.

They climbed slowly, constantly stopping on the way: to recover their breath, to massage a spasming muscle, to drink some water from a small fountain and to grope each other in a secluded corner. Strangely enough, Liu Qingge didn’t just acutely react to the touch – which Shen Yuan had noticed the last time, – but also felt Shen Yuan’s reaction. He didn’t touch anywhere that could hurt, merely held his palm next to those regions, as if afraid or embarrassed. If Shen Yuan’s everything didn’t hurt below the belt, he’d grab Liu Qingge’s wrist and force him to place his palm on Shen Yuan’s butt – Shen Yuan even imagined the scene in detail. Perhaps in a few days…

His vampiric nature was making itself known: Shen Yuan slowly began to get aroused, despite his ache and fatigue. Nevertheless, Liu Qingge unexpectedly opposed the idea to stop at one of the secluded corners and finish what they’d started.

“Let’s get to my home. There’s medicine.”

“I hope there’s a bed as well,” Shen Yuan blurted out and immediately bit his tongue. Now it was Liu Qingge’s turn to roll his eyes.

“There is. There’s even a brazier. If you wish…”

“What?”

Liu Qingge slightly blushed and averted his gaze. Shen Yuan felt his lips stretch into a smile.

“What, shidi? Come on, don’t leave me hanging!”

“If you wish, we can put soft pelts on the floor. I have an abundance of those.”

The idea was incredibly attractive. Shen Yuan imagined spreading the naked Liu Qingge on such a pelt, imagined climbing on top of him and uttered a broken sigh.

“How long until your house?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to fly there?” Liu Qingge raised a corner of his lips, but Shen Yuan wasn’t offended by the blatant barb.

“Let’s go already.”

Shen Yuan planned to press Liu Qingge to a wall the moment the door was locked behind them, but regrettably failed to deliver: the last part of the road had exhausted him, and instead of fulfilling his lewd plans he had to lean on a wall, gasping for air. Liu Qingge quickly entered a room and brought a cup of water, which Shen Yuan downed in two gulps. Not only did he fail to move elegantly, right now Shen Yuan was willing to bet he looked about as sexy as a dead fish.

Leaning on Liu Qingge’s palm, Shen Yuan managed to limp to the bedroom. The furnishing was… sparse: a bed, a sword rack, a folding screen, a wardrobe, a low table. Nothing unnecessary, no trinkets or trifles, even guans were sorted by their size.

“Wait a bit, I’ll bring the medicine.”

After receiving a nod Liu Qingge exited. Shen Yuan slowly sat on the bed and barely suppressed a yelp. Right, he wouldn’t be able to quietly go through Liu Qingge’s stuff no matter how much he wanted to.

“Found it.” Liu Qingge reappeared on the doorstep holding a jar in his hand. Shen Yuan sniffed the contents of the jar suspiciously.

“Should I eat it? Or drink? How do I take it?”

“Smear it,” Liu Qingge grumbled, blushing heavily. “It’s for internal injuries… if the inside of your mouth or nose is damaged. Stops the pain, heals, reduces the sensitivity.”

Must be for the mucous membrane. Well, as far as Shen Yuan knew, the ointment was indeed suitable for his situation. But to “smear” it…

“I, ah… I’m not sure if such treatment would be appropriate now…”

“If you wish, I can show you the way to the bathhouse. Or I can leave the room, and you’ll do everything on your own. Or I can help.”

“In this case begging shidi’s pardon, I’ll have to occupy your bedroom for a short while.”

Shen Yuan smiled awkwardly, regretting that his hands were busy with the jar and its lid, so he couldn’t hide behind his fan. He felt too embarrassed to accept this kind of “help” from Liu Qingge: bedroom activities were one thing, but a medical procedure was totally different.

Liu Qingge nodded and exited. Burning in shame, Shen Yuan hid behind the screen, untied his pants and lowered them to his knees, grabbed the hems of his clothes and tried to apply the ointment to the injured – ugh! – parts, but quickly realised his efforts were in vain. He had to forget any propriety, take off his robe and his pants, then try again. Standing naked in someone else’s house was terribly uncomfortable, Shen Yuan kept clenching both from the embarrassment and the cool breeze, his fingers barely breached the entrance, Shen Yuan winced and hissed in pain. Besides, he couldn’t twist the wrist to reach the necessary depth: Binghe’s heavenly pillar was, after all, quite sizeable. Eventually Shen Yuan exhausted his patience and opted to forget about his pride.

“Shidi? I’m afraid I’m going to request your help after all…”

Shen Yuan heard the door open, then the footsteps, and Liu Qingge approached the screen. His eyes widened a bit, as if he hadn’t expected to see Shen Yuan in his birthday suit. However, Liu Qingge quickly suppressed his surprise.

“The ointment.”

Shen Yuan blushed to the tips of his ears, silently gave him the jar and turned away. Damn it, too awkward! He wouldn’t be able to look Liu Qingge in the eyes now. Shen Yuan secretly hoped Liu Qingge would approach the process in a clinical fashion, like an unfamiliar doctor: quickly apply the ointment where necessary and spare Shen Yuan the disgrace. However, contrary to his expectations, Liu Qingge didn’t rush: he caressed Shen Yuan’s buttock, slightly pulled it aside to ease the access to the entrance, then his fingers slid up and down Shen Yuan’s thigh, fondled the hip, rose almost to the waist, petted Shen Yuan’s side a few times. Liu Qingge’s lips touched Shen Yuan’s naked shoulder.

Shen Yuan uttered a broken sigh and leaned his head to the side to give more access to the neck. Unlike Binghe, Liu Qingge didn’t bite and seemed to intentionally avoid any chance to hurt Shen Yuan with a careless movement. Feeling the smell and heat of Liu Qingge’s body, Shen Yuan slowly relaxed and even got a bit aroused. Liu Qingge quietly hummed, which Shen Yuan believed to be a sign of approval. Then a thumb, slick from the ointment, started slowly massaging the entrance.

The ointment did work: Shen Yuan was already feeling the discomfort to ease. Some time later, after realising no pain would follow, he managed to relax a bit. Liu Qingge didn’t immediately proceed, but kept patiently touching Shen Yuan, pushing his thumb inside and pulling it out. Shen Yuan was surprised by his own pleasure: previously he’d considered such preparation a necessary evil.

“Shidi…”

The quiet sigh made Liu Qingge’s fingers tremble, then finally slide inside to the first knuckle. Looking straight ahead, Shen Yuan slightly nodded: it’s fine, continue. Strangely, it didn’t hurt, on the contrary: Shen Yuan was almost enjoying himself. Especially since as the ointment started to affect him, his ache was replaced with new sensations.

Before that Shen Yuan had never understood why people “experimented”, shoving fingers and other unsuitable things inside their own bodies. He’d never considered penetrative sex appealing and only did it out of love for his partner: Binghe didn’t wish to make do with simple handjobs, which he’d made very clear. But now… the sensations from the fingers inside Shen Yuan’s body grew, and Shen Yuan couldn’t say he disliked it.

“Shidi… more…”

Liu Qingge lightly pressed at Shen Yuan’s waist with his free hand, making Shen Yuan bend his back. Shen Yuan even spread his legs to ease the access; normally he would be terribly embarrassed, but now it felt like a love game more and more, and the pleasure was worth a little embarrassment. Liu Qingge pressed closer again, started peppering Shen Yuan’s neck and shoulders with kisses, while his hand kept stretching and caressing Shen Yuan from the inside. The second palm lay on Shen Yuan’s dick, moving a bit too slowly. Shen Yuan covered it with his own, setting the rhythm he wanted. He had forgotten his embarrassment altogether and was moving towards the fingers, loudly sighing in pleasure.

The relief came quickly. Liu Qingge removed his hands almost immediately, not waiting for the pleasure to recede and for Shen Yuan to feel uncomfortable, then froze, tense.

“What is it?” Shen Yuan asked affectionately. The pain had completely disappeared, but he didn’t want to move. He wanted to occupy the bed and get some sleep, but Shen Yuan had already noticed the bed was too narrow for two. No, that wouldn’t do! Liu Qingge was a peak lord, was he not? He could afford a little luxury! Shen Yuan would have to drop a hint in his next conversation with Airplane to order and deliver everything necessary…

“I don’t have anything to wipe my hands with. Do you have a clean handkerchief?..”

Only now did Shen Yuan realise Liu Qingge’s palms were probably stained with seed, ointment and good thing there was nothing worse – thanks to inedia and Airplane-bro’s stupid porn lore! After somehow managing to locate a qiankun with clean cloth in his sleeve, Shen Yuan turned around and gave the spoils to his shidi. Liu Qingge started to awkwardly wipe his palms clean, and Shen Yuan couldn’t hold back from taking his hand and licking the seed off. It didn’t taste quite as good as Liu Qingge’s own, but Liu Qingge’s astonished expression was worth it.

“Shen Qingqiu, you…”

Shen Yuan smiled and finally pulled Liu Qingge into a kiss. Liu Qingge pressed closer, letting Shen Yuan properly feel his arousal. Not that Shen Yuan needed extra proof of that: he’d noticed the last time that Liu Qingge’s smell changed a bit, became thicker and more intense, depending on Liu Qingge’s readiness for combat.

“Turn around. Stand as you just did,” Liu Qingge rasped. Shen Yuan obeyed him unquestioningly: the bossiness turned him on. Besides, Liu Qingge was still fully clothed while Shen Yuan had nothing to cover himself with… Coupled with the confident demand, it created a feeling that Liu Qingge was holding all the power, and Shen Yuan could do nothing but obey. And yet he wasn’t bitter over it, on the contrary: Shen Yuan knew full well Liu Qingge would never hurt him.

Liu Qingge’s fingers slid over Shen Yuan’s buttock right next to the entrance, then landed on his thigh. Did he want to take Shen Yuan right now? On the other hand, the pain had mostly disappeared, and the entrance was still stretched after the intrusion. Perhaps Shen Yuan would even manage to enjoy himself, if Liu Qingge didn’t rush and was careful…

“Be nice to me, all right, shidi?”

“Sure.”

Shen Yuan completely relaxed after hearing the confident promise. Liu Qingge lightly pressed at his hip, urging Shen Yuan to squeeze his legs.

“Shidi, are you certain? I think this position might be uncomfortable.”

Judging from Shen Yuan’s experience, spreading his legs would make the pain a bit duller, and the intrusion would go easier.

“Is it? I thought…” Liu Qingge went quiet, then gulped. “Fine. If you say so.”

Liu Qingge’s palm, slick with something, went between Shen Yuan’s legs, touched his thighs, then Liu Qingge’s dick slid between them. Shen Yuan sharply inhaled in surprise, and Liu Qingge immediately froze.

“Does it hurt? Should I stop?”

Shen Yuan shook his head, barely suppressing a completely inappropriate bout of laughter. He’d thought Liu Qingge would want more, but Liu Qingge seemed willing to be satisfied with less. Well… Shen Yuan closed his legs and tried to squeeze his thighs.

“Shidi was right. It’s more convenient this way.”

Liu Qingge hummed something approvingly and started moving: first slowly, then, having made sure Shen Yuan wasn’t in pain, with increasing speed. Shen Yuan closed his eyes and licked his lips, turned his head, using one hand to pull Liu Qingge into a wet kiss.

“Shen… I…” Liu Qingge mumbled, his eyelids drooping. Shen Yuan froze and lightly pushed him away.

“Wait a bit, shidi. Don’t be in a rush.”

Liu Qingge groaned through clenched teeth, but obeyed. Shen Yuan turned around, stole one more short kiss, then sank to the floor. Liu Qingge must have been desperate: he spilt into Shen Yuan’s mouth immediately, even before Shen Yuan had the time to move his head.

Shen Yuan was sitting on the floor, grinning like a moron and licking streaks of seed off his lips, chin and fingers. So good…

“Oil.”

“Huh?” Shen Yuan blinked in bafflement.

“The oil. It’s edible,” Liu Qingge blurted out. “So it should be fine.”

Shen Yaun dumbly stared at him from down below, then laughed out loud. Liu Qingge blushed to the roots of his hair, glared at Shen Yuan, then sighed and smiled awkwardly. It suited him; Shen Yuan had rarely seen Liu Qingge content and relaxed, or even peaceful. Usually Liu Qingge alternated between a frown, a scornful squint and curled lips, or a stoic expression. Come to think of it, he didn’t even smile at his sister; Shen Yuan hadn’t had a lot of chances to see Liu Qingge and Liu Mingyan together, but normally they stood at a distance and held like strangers. Weird: as far as Shen Yuan remembered, in “Proud Immortal Demon Way” the relationship between the siblings had been good.

Speaking of Liu Mingyan…

“Your sister stopped by Qingjing recently,” Shen Yuan tattled. Liu Qingge hummed absent-mindedly.

“To visit the library again? She’s been reading a lot lately; whenever I go to Xianshu, I find her with a new book.”

“No, to see me. Right before your hunt… I was actually looking for you to discuss it.”

Liu Qingge had cleaned up during their conversation and turned to Shen Yuan, fixing his gaze on him.

“Speak.”

“If you remember, I was really unhappy with Binghe after your squabble. We had a fight… and your sister was trying to reconcile us.”

Liu Qingge frowned, clenching his fists. He didn’t look surprised, though.

“I know she approves of… the mongrel. She even tried to scold me, saying I’m ‘clinging to the past’ and ruining my life and the lives of people around. As if his crimes…”

“I’ve already discussed her behavior with Qi-shimei and Yue-shixiong,” Shen Yuan interrupted. He had no wish to discuss Binghe’s “crimes”: Liu Qingge’s attacks were always aimed at weak spots, Shen Yuan had nothing to reply to his arguments. “So don’t worry… I just wanted you to know.”

“I see,” Liu Qingge muttered and turned away once more. Were anyone else in his place, the silence would be heavy and suffocating, but Shen Yuan didn’t doubt one conversation couldn’t undermine his friendship with Liu Qingge. “I don’t know why you lot coddle him.”

Shen Yuan sighed. He didn’t want to discuss this yet again.

“Binghe isn’t that bad. He’s not breaking any rules now…”

“Except for the sect rules?”

“…stays at Qingjing peak, except for special occasions.”

“I take it, a special occasion is whenever he feels like coming out?”

“A special occasion is when I was hurt and Binghe rushed to heal me!” Shen Yuan snapped. The last thing he wanted was to rip open the wounds that had long closed. Liu Mingyan was right: Liu Qingge didn’t have to cling to the past so ardently.

“You were hurt? When?” Liu Qingge immediately tensed, forgetting everything else. Shen Yuan even felt ashamed of his recent thoughts: Liu Qingge clearly prioritised Shen Yuan’s wellbeing over petty squabbles.

“Just a splinter in my finger, nothing to write home about.”

Shen Yuan bit his tongue after barely finishing the phrase. Now Liu Qingge would say Binghe had broken the sect rules over nothing, which would lead to a new quarrel.

Liu Qingge surprised him.

“How did the mongrel even know?”

“He… senses when I’m unwell.”

“Senses? You mean, he always watches you and your condition?”

An honest reply would be “yes”, but Shen Yuan didn’t want to speak ill of his husband behind his back. Especially since Liu Qingge already thought unreasonably ill of Binghe; no need to pour oil into the fire.

“He’s not always watching, but he… knows when I’m in pain or injured. It’s useful even: Binghe can quickly heal me…”

“How quickly and how serious can the injury be?” Liu Qingge squinted darkly. Well… Shen Yuan could just reply, right? The truth wouldn’t hurt anyone.

“Very quickly and almost any injury. Remember how I bumped into a sower in Jinlan? I got infected then, and Binghe helped me.”

See? Let Liu Qingge realise Binghe was capable of good things.

“You mean he feels you getting a splinter even when you’re away, but he didn’t notice you barely being able to walk? Why didn’t he heal you?”

“He…” Shen Yuan paused. Why indeed? Binghe could have. The Heavenly Demon’s Blood permitted such things; moreover, Binghe could have spared Shen Yuan any discomfort, even during their first time. If memory served Shen Yuan right, in the original Bing-ge had used the blood as an aphrodisiac… hadn’t Binghe thought of that? “He must have… Well…”

Liu Qingge was patiently waiting, and that demoralised Shen Yuan even further. He’d rather Liu Qingge was throwing accusations: then Shen Yuan would know how to reply, would be able to snap at him. But now that Liu Qingge was silent, Shen Yuan had no choice but to remain on his own with his thoughts.

“He… left early in the morning. Perhaps he didn’t notice?”

Rubbish. Complete and utter rubbish. Even Shen Yuan knew it was a weak excuse, and Liu Qingge would destroy the argument.

“Didn’t notice.” Liu Qingge snorted. “Fine, let’s say he didn’t. And when he was causing you pain? Did he also not notice?”

“He got carried away,” Shen Yuan replied helplessly. “Overly enthusiastic and lacking experience…”

“Lacking experience? How long have you two been together?”

Long. Long enough for Binghe to start experimenting with bad porn. Long enough for Shen Yuan to learn his habits and preferences by heart.

Why hadn’t Binghe done the same? Why hadn’t he tried to make the process more pleasant?

“He just gets carried away easily…”

“Have you ever hurt him?” Liu Qingge raised an eyebrow in a challenge. Shen Yuan sighed, knowing where Liu Qingge was going with it.

“I’m not him. We’re different.”

“It’s nonsense and you know it.”

As usual, Liu Qingge went for the weak point. Shen Yuan shrugged helplessly.

“What do you want to hear from me? That I’ll leave him?”

“Would be nice. But first promise me at least that you won’t let him hurt you again.”

Shen Yuan hummed ambiguously, afraid that Liu Qingge would insist. But Liu-shidi was a true hunter: he’d already landed a decisive blow and left the victim alone, letting it lose the energy and fall into despair.

Shen Yuan didn’t know how to respond.

He spent the evening and half of the next day looking for an explanation and failing to find any. Did Binghe not know he could use Heavenly Demon’s blood this way? No, impossible, of course he knew. Had Binghe been hurting his spouse on purpose? No, absolutely not. Then why? All right, Binghe might have forgotten himself in the heat of passion, but later, when he’d been carrying Shen Yuan to the tub because Shen Yuan had been unable to close his legs, let alone stand up?..

Finally Shen Yuan forbade himself from thinking about it. Enough. Binghe would come back, and Shen Yuan would ask him directly. The answer would likely be simple and obvious.

Shen Yuan used the ointment two more times: Liu Qingge had given it to him all but by force. Shen Yuan had tried to say no out of courtesy, but Liu Qingge had promised to ask Mu Qingfang for a few more jars. The pain had slowly receded, Shen Yuan was healing way faster than usual and even started thinking of visiting Baizhan once more. The only thing stopping him was the knowledge that even from a distance Binghe would be able to feel Shen Yuan travelling and track his whereabouts. What if Binghe decided to ask why Shen Yuan had visited another peak twice in three days?

A sudden burning pain all over his body distracted Shen Yuan from his attempt to play something gloomy on his qin. Shen Yuan knew the feeling well: that was the blood parasites moving around in his body. Did Binghe?.. Shen Yuan had no time to finish the thought: the parasites seemed to gather into one point, then crawled out, and Shen Yuan had to turn away lest he spat blood all over his expensive musical instruments.

A few minutes later the burning pain finally stopped. Surprisingly, there were no more unpleasant sensations in his body, even the ache below his belt disappeared without a trace. Shen Yuan uttered a broken sigh, stepped towards the kitchen to find some water and rinse his mouth, then immediately bent in half again.

This time the parasites’ movements were much more painful, and there was more blood. Shen Yuan froze, not knowing what to expect, but soon realised the trouble was over for today.

Well, Binghe had kept his word. The first flareup must have been Tianlang-jun’s blood coming out – as a demonstration of how to do it? No matter, Shen Yuan was even grateful: Tianlang-jun had been generous enough to make a grand gesture and quickly heal all of Shen Yuan’s injuries. The second stage must have been Binghe’s blood. No wonder it had felt worse: Binghe was inexperienced and had never done that before…

Or he’d wanted to cause pain in retaliation for the earlier quarrel.

No. Shen Yuan refused to think so badly of his husband, especially in his absence. Let Binghe come back, then they’d talk. How many times had Shen Yuan judged Binghe unfairly, based on other people’s words and mistaken foreknowledge? He’d accused Binghe in Jinlan, in Huayue…

Although had Binghe not beaten and choked him during their meeting, everything could have gone differently.

Shen Yuan shook his head. Enough thinking about the past, that was of no use. He needed to send a few disciples to clean the bamboo hut, then to leave, lest he was an obstacle during the cleaning.

He could go to Baizhan, for instance. Binghe no longer had a way of tracking his spouse’s movements. And the pain was completely gone. Shen Yuan didn’t doubt that after achieving his goal Binghe would come back home as soon as he could, but the way from Zhaohua to Cangqiong still took quite a while.

And Shen Yuan could use the time.

Thankfully, Liu Qingge hadn’t run off to another night hunt yet, and Shen Yuan didn’t miss the chance to gently tease him while drinking tea. Liu Qingge merely scowled in response.

“Once your mongrel is back, I’ll fly away. Find something to do.”

“He… should be home tonight,” Shen Yuan admitted guiltily. No, he needed to solve this problem with Binghe after all. It wouldn’t do for Binghe to still be perceived as an enemy starting fights with peak lords.

“Then let’s not lose time,” Liu Qingge eagerly stood up, forgetting the tea and snacks on the table. Shen Yuan softly laughed from behind his fan.

“I see shidi is very impatient. Like you’ve been waiting for a chance for a long time…”

“Why do you think I’ve been sitting here all week?”

Shen Yuan went quiet, not knowing how to reply to such an unceremonious, yet sincere confession. The thought that Liu Qingge stayed at the sect for Shen Yuan’s sake was pleasant.

“Shidi promised me soft pelts?” Shen Yuan tried to ease the awkwardness by changing the subject. Liu Qingge nodded and headed to an adjascent room.

Together they laid heavy pelts with soft long fur on the floor and chose incenses and wood for the brazier. Shen Yuan wanted to undress Liu Qingge without any hurry, but alas, they were running out of time, so they pulled the clothes off each other simultaneously, getting tangled in the ties, swearing quietly and stupidly smiling at each other like hormonal teenagers. Finally Shen Yuan took Liu Qingge’s pants off, pushed him onto the pelts and froze, enjoying the view.

“Do you want to?..” Liu Qingge bent his knee and spread his legs a bit, clearly showing what exactly he was suggesting. Shen Yuan shook his head: he’d been eager to try getting to the end together with Liu Qingge ever since their last time. Would he be able to avoid any pain? To enjoy the intrusion? Could Shen Yuan’s body – Shen Qingqiu’s body – accept Liu Qingge easily?

Shen Yuan threw his leg over Liu Qingge’s waist and straddled his hips.

“Not this time, shidi.”

Perhaps later. If Shen Yuan made sure such lovemaking could be painless.

Liu Qingge nodded and rose on his elbow.

“I took the ointment from Mu Qingfang. It’s on the table.”

“Shidi was really eager, I see,” Shen Yuan teased. However, he was also turned on, so he didn’t continue the conversation, instead grabbing the jar and immediately opening it. The ointment almost spilt, Shen Yuan yelped, and only Liu Qingge’s honed reflexes saved the pelts from an untimely end and the ointment from being wasted.

“Careful.”

“I know,” Shen Yuan snapped back, but still heeded the warning. Unlike the last time, now the fingers slid into his body way easier: Shen Yuan was no longer scared, nor trying to clench on them.

“Let me help,” Liu Qingge suggested after watching for a bit. Shen Yuan nodded in relief: his wrist was starting to ache from the uncomfortable angle. And it felt awkward doing this to himself in someone’s plain view… although Liu Qingge’s burning gaze and intense smell were worth a few minutes of embarrassment.

Liu Qingge was moving more confidently than the last time, and yet he wasn’t in a hurry, letting Shen Yuan adjust, get used to it, move towards his fingers, open himself completely. For the first time in his life Shen Yuan could admit he wanted more without lying even a little bit.

When Liu Qingge’s dick slid into the slick and stretched entrance easily and almost without resistance, Shen Yuan moaned in pleasure. So that was why people did it!.. Previously Shen Yuan had believed only the top got any enjoyment, while the bottom could do nothing but deal with the pain. Apparently he’d been gravely mistaken. Of course, he still had no point of comparison, but now Shen Yuan was willing to claim Liu Qingge himself without worrying about hurting or injuring him in the process.

Unlike Binghe, Liu Qingge wasn’t trying to set the tempo, letting Shen Yuan take the lead. Shen Yuan could move however fast he liked, choose the comfortable angle and the depth of thrusts. Soon Shen Yuan was unable to withhold moans and sighs; he had a fleeting thought to shut his mouth, but then Shen Yuan would only have one hand free to grope Liu Qingge’s perfect body, and that was a sacrifice he wasn’t willing to make.

However, Liu Qingge didn’t seem to mind; he was touching Shen Yuan, caressing everywhere he could reach, lightly squeezing Shen Yuan’s buttock, stroking his dick. Shen Yuan suddenly remembered the moment when the Bing-ge of the parallel world had started pleasuring Shen Qingqiu’s body: that had been the first time Shen Yuan had felt this vague yearning, the feeling of something lacking, the appetite for more. He’d never managed to recreate the sensation when in bed with Binghe, no matter how hard they’d tried, but now Shen Yuan had a hard time keeping himself under control. He was ready to come, he wanted to move faster, wanted Liu Qingge to touch him like this again…

“You may bite me if you want to,” Liu Qingge mumbled, tilting his head and giving access to his neck. Shen Yuan lightly bit the skin, making sure there was no blood or traces left. Liu Qingge sighed impatiently. “Harder.”

“I… not this time, shidi.”

The temptation was nigh unbearable, but Shen Yuan was afraid of losing control. He was enjoying the sex, the pleasure was so pure, so unbridled, Shen Yuan wasn’t sure what might happen if the pleasure from the blood was added to it.

Liu Qingge huffed and averted his gaze. Shen Yuan smiled involuntarily: the expression was rather cute, even if Liu Qingge wasn’t trying to pout on purpose. Perhaps that was why Shen Yuan felt so relaxed: Liu Qingge wasn’t manipulating him in an attempt to get what he wanted, he was merely expressing his emotions.

“Are you close, shidi?”

Coming first would be rather impolite of Shen Yuan, as well as unwise: he knew this feeling of post-orgasmic bliss well, knew from experience that at times like this he only wanted to relax and lie peacefully, and his partner’s movements turned from painful to very painful. There was no pain now, but Shen Yuan was too scared to experiment.

“Not yet.”

“Oh.”

Shen Yuan couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice. Liu Qingge put a hand on Shen Yuan’s waist to steady him and looked into Shen Yuan’s eyes.

“If you’re close, don’t hold back. It’s fine. We’ll continue later.”

Listening to his confident tone, Shen Yuan slowly managed to relax. After all, until today he’d believed penetrative sex to always be accompanied by pain, but Liu Qingge had successfully proven him wrong. Perhaps he’d also manage to make a bedroom marathon pleasant for both of them?

The thought of Liu Qingge manhandling Shen Yuan’s relaxed, blissed-out body was surprisingly hot. Funny how Shen Yuan was irritated when Binghe tried something like that, but Liu Qingge was allowed to do pretty much anything in his book. There was something important concealed in this thought, but Shen Yuan couldn’t grasp it now. He covered Liu Qingge’s palm with his own, setting the rhythm, and soon spilt over their intertwined fingers.

Liu Qingge sighed, bit his lip and helped Shen Yuan up. His dick slid out of Shen Yuan’s body, the mixture of sensations made Shen Yuan sigh, and Liu Qingge carefully kissed him, then helped him lie back on the pelts.

“I’ll bring some water.”

“And you?..” Shen Yuan awkwardly rose on his elbow. Liu Qingge shook his head.

“I’ll hardly be able to, at least not now… the ointment dulls the sensations. Perhaps some time later.”

“Oh.”

To be honest, Shen Yuan hadn’t thought of it. Although it made sense: the ointment was supposed to be applied on mucous membrane, that could hardly help the arousal. Perhaps it felt akin to a condom?.. Shen Yuan had heard that having sex with a condom on wasn’t quite as pleasant as skin on skin.

For a moment Shen Yuan felt guilty: he’d enjoyed himself, but what about Liu-shidi?.. Perhaps Shen Yuan should use his hand to bring him to completion? But Liu Qingge merely shook his head in response to the suggestion.

“First I need to wash off the ointment and wait a bit for its effect to subside.”

Well, the idea wasn’t bad. Both of them could use a bath. Perhaps Shen Yuan would even have some time left to lick Liu Qingge clean… not everywhere, but at least the strategic areas. And not miss a single drop of seed.

“Shidi mentioned a bathhouse?”

Unlike the living rooms, Liu Qingge’s bathhouse was opulent: with natural hot springs, a giant pool and comfortable wide benches. Even the floor wasn’t slippery and had a built-in heating system! Shen Yuan glared at the arrays carved right into the stones. Why hadn’t his predecessor bothered to arrange something like that in the bamboo house?! Shen Yuan made do with a simple tub, while Liu Qingge’s bathhouse was fitting for an emperor! A terrible injustice.

Liu Qingge helped Shen Yuan wipe off the dirt and sweat, thoroughly washed, then both of them descended into the pool hand in hand. Shen Yuan put his head on his arm and was happily ogling Liu Qingge, noting how strange and yet alluring his shidi looked with his hair tied into a simple knot.

“What?..” Liu Qingge noticed his attention. Shen Yuan smiled.

“Just looking.”

“Then look.”

Liu Qingge smirked almost challengingly and leaned his head so that a loose strand of hair fell down his neck. Shen Yuan blushed. If that continued, he’d soon be ready for a second round!..

And Liu Qingge hadn’t even finished his first.

Having remembered that, Shen Yuan felt ashamed and started to act.

“Would shidi mind if I did more than merely look?”

Liu Qingge shook his head with the same smirk, and Shen Yuan immediately moved closer, slid his palm down Liu Qingge’s neck to his stomach, then found his dick under the water.

“Is shidi sensitive enough now? Or do you still feel the effect of the ointment?”

“A bit,” Liu Qingge admitted. Shen Yuan sighed guiltily.

“Next time we’ll try to make do without.”

“Better that than me causing you pain,” Liu Qingge said in a tone that brooked no argument. Shen Yuan smiled helplessly.

“All right, shidi. We’ll think of something.”

Liu Qingge hummed in agreement, and Shen Yuan straddled his hips to make the slide of his hand easier. Soon he felt that his efforts weren’t in vain: Liu Qingge’s dick, already half-hard, was quickly getting ready for battle. Liu Qingge’s smell was mixing with the steam from the water, the aroma of oils and soaps; Shen Yuan couldn’t decide whether he liked it or not. Like a familiar dish with strange spices…

“Wait.” Liu Qingge suddenly grabbed Shen Yuan’s wrist. “I don’t want to dirty the water.”

“I have a solution,” Shen Yuan replied teasingly, then sent qi to course through his body, paying special attention to his arms, rose to his feet, grabbed Liu Qingge under the hips and sat him on the edge of the pool. Liu Qingge blinked in surprise, and Shen Yuan felt slight satisfaction: Liu-shidi wasn’t the only one who could show off his physical prowess!

“You…”

Judging by his voice, Liu Qingge was stunned rather than unhappy. His dick was fully hard; now that they were out of the water, the smell intensified. Shen Yuan licked his lips and leaned over Liu Qingge’s thighs.

“I promise, shidi, not a drop will spill into the water.”

Shen Yuan kept true to his words.

He was all but bouncing on his way home, whistling a half-forgotten tune from the other world. Something-something your hand, I won’t let go, don’t look left, don’t look right, I’m next to you… There was no pain, the energy from sex and, ahem, the liquids was filling his body. For a moment Shen Yuan wondered whether it was connected to him and Liu Qingge being “soulmates”: Shen Yuan didn’t remember feeling so good after drinking a cup of Yue Qingyuan’s blood.

Shen Yuan didn’t enter the bamboo house: now he wouldn’t have enough patience for reviewing essays or painting. Instead he took out Xiuya and started practicing moves he’d seen Liu Qingge use during their assignment: with many turns and jumps, flashy waves of sleeves and elegant gestures, just like in the dramas Shen Yuan had once loved so much. The sword seemed to be singing in his hands, the wind was playing with the fallen bamboo leaves, making them fly around Shen Yuan like a green hurricane, the mountain air was filling his lungs, and Shen Yuan could almost feel the golden core burning in his chest. A bit more, and Shen Yuan might reach a breakthrough…

Someone’s palms deftly caught Shen Yuan by the elbows, stopping the movement.

“Shizun, I’m back.”

Shen Yuan suppressed a flicker of vexation. Damn it, bad timing! Why couldn’t Binghe wait for Shen Yuan to finish? Whatever: if every sex with Liu Qingge had the same effect, Shen Yuan would advance to the next level quickly and with pleasure. He wished gathering XP was always so nice!..

“Did you have to distract me, you naughty child?” Shen Yuan scolded Binghe with a soft smile. Binghe pretended to pout in response.

“But I missed you so much! I could barely withstand the separation!”

More likely he could barely withstand seeing Shen Yuan paying attention to something or someone else. Good thing Shen Yuan had come back home in time and hadn’t stayed at Baizhan for longer than necessary, lest Binghe would have returned to an empty house. Contrary to Shen Yuan’s expectations, the idea warmed him from the inside: he felt like a spy on a secret mission, not an unfaithful husband jumping into his lover’s bed the moment Binghe had left.

“Binghe did well. You came back quickly – was your conversation with Tianlang-jun successful?”

The praise made Binghe beam, but the mention of his father cooled his excitement.

“This disciple would’ve come back sooner, but… Tianlang-jun wasn’t at the temple when I arrived. I had to waste time on locating him.”

“Was your father happy to see you?”

Shen Yuan didn’t pretend he hadn’t noticed the pause. Even if Binghe was still refusing to accept Tianlang-jun as his family, Shen Yuan believed it best for his husband to speak to his relative. Or someone who wasn’t Shen Yuan. It wasn’t good for Binghe not to have other close people: after all, they were both adults, Shen Yuan had his own life, why should Binghe’s life revolve around one person only?

“He’s not my father,” Binghe replied evenly. “And answering shizun’s question: no, he wasn’t happy. My appearance surprised him, he listened to my plea and quickly agreed to help.”

“So he didn’t tell you anything else?”

“He…” Binghe hesitated. “He was surprised why I came to him so late. He said I should’ve removed shizun’s slave collar long ago… his words, not mine.”

Shen Yuan shivered. Tianlang-jun was an extraordinary person after all, one Shen Yuan better keep his distance from, just in case.

“I see. Didn’t you wish to spend more time with him, to get to know each other better?”

“I don’t need anyone but shizun,” Binghe snapped. Shen Yuan frowned, took his arm and pulled him to the house.

“Binghe, that won’t do. You used to have friends… I remember you were on good terms with Ning Yingying, Liu Mingyan. Don’t you miss them?”

“No,” Binghe said it so indifferently Shen Yuan almost hit him with a fan.

“What does that mean? Yingying and maiden Liu have always treated you kindly! Don’t be ungrateful! Did I teach you so badly?”

“This disciple meets Ning-shijie sometimes.” Luo Binghe courteously let Shen Yuan take the lead, closed the door behind them and lit the lamps with a snap of his fingers. “That’s enough for me. Besides, wouldn’t shizun be jealous if this disciple started spending time with other people?”

“I wouldn’t.” Shen Yuan’s gaze pinned Binghe to the spot. “Why should I be jealous? You’re an adult, you can have your own life. I’m not going to throw a fit if you find other close people.”

Binghe clenched his teeth and averted his gaze. Shen Yuan sighed.

“Enough of that. Let’s continue this conversation tomorrow. You’re tired, go get some rest.”

“Is shizun so eager to get rid of me?” Contrary to Shen Yuan’s intentions, Binghe immediately got irked; tears glimmered in his eyes. “Did shizun even think of this disciple while this disciple was away?”

“Of course I did,” Shen Yuan retaliated. “And I wanted to discuss something with you… but that’s not the sort of discussion we could have on the porch.”

Binghe silently approached the table and sat on a pillow.

“This disciple isn’t tired in the slightest and is ready to listen to shizun.”

Ready to listen, my ass… Shen Yuan strongly suspected Binghe would just ignore his words. And yet… Shen Yuan needed explanations.

“Answer a question for me, all right?”

“Of course.”

Judging by his gaze, Binghe got wary. Shen Yuan opened his fan to buy some time and to avoid giving away his thoughts through his expression.

“You can use your blood to treat wounds, right?”

“Right. Shizun had an occasion to see for himself a few days ago.”

“And you can use your blood to cause pain.”

Now Binghe got tense.

“Shizun, why are you asking?”

“Don’t interrupt.” Shen Yuan waited for Binghe to slowly nod and straighten his back, then continued. “Can you use it to remove pain?”

“I can.” Binghe seemed to have been expecting something else and now looked baffled. “That’s very easy.”

“I see. So even if you got distracted and weren’t paying attention, you could still help someone? Stop their pain?”

“I… yes. Did shizun change his mind? Say a word, and this disciple will give you his blood. As much as shizun deems necessary.”

“I’ll pass.” Shen Yuan took a deep breath. “If that’s as easy as you say, why haven’t you ever spared me the pain when we were?.. You could have. It’d cost you nothing to help me relax, heal my injuries. Why haven’t you done anything?”

“You haven’t told me to,” Binghe replied after a short pause. Shen Yuan was certain Binghe’s surprise was completely fake, and that made him even angrier.

“And you couldn’t have thought of it yourself? I was unable to stand up after… you carried me to the bath! Let’s say you could’ve forgotten yourself, you didn’t think of it in the process, but what about later?!”

“You told me that you’d endure it gladly,” Binghe replied quietly, almost whispering. “I suggested stopping  during our first time, but you didn’t let me. I thought… I thought you liked it.”

“You…” Shen Yuan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Is this a joke? Couldn’t you see that I was in pain? That I was bleeding? That I had bruises all over my body?”

“Traces of our love,” Binghe said stubbornly. Shen Yuan pressed his palm to his forehead.

“Bruises, Binghe.”

“I… shizun, you don’t always say what you think. How can I know when you’re sincere and when you’re acting?”

Shen Yuan couldn’t find a reply: not because Binghe had disarmed him, no, on the contrary, Shen Yuan had too many things to say and didn’t know where to start. After some contemplation he opted to finish the stupid quarrel.

“I’m perfectly sincere now: Binghe, I don’t like pain and don’t like that you’re causing me pain. I won’t drink your blood again, so you’ll have to be careful. If I’m still unable to stand up after our next time, you will never sleep in our bed again. Is this clear?”

“Shizun… is willing to take this disciple back?”

Shen Yuan dropped his face in his palms and groaned. Of fucking course! As usual, Binghe only heard what he wanted to hear and ignored the rest.

“Binghe, do you understand me? No pain! Carefully and slowly!”

“This disciple understands!” Binghe nodded and jumped to his feet, moving closer. “This disciple will immediately start practicing!”

Shen Yuan batted Binghe’s outstretched hand aside without thinking, purely instinctively.

“We haven’t finished!..”

“Does shizun no longer want me?” Binghe babbled at the same time. Shen Yuan ground his teeth.

“Can you concentrate on the conversation for a little bit?”

“Shizun promised he’d never push this disciple away again.”

Binghe lowered his gaze. Shen Yuan couldn’t understand what his husband was hiding now: tears or anger? Normally Shen Yuan would feel wary, but now he was flying off the handle.

“Am I asking for too much? Promise me you’ll be careful! Or is it that you don’t want to? Perhaps you like causing me pain, hm?”

“I… shizun, how can you? I feel unwell whenever you’re…”

“I didn’t notice you feeling unwell the last time!” Shen Yuan snapped and froze, startled by his own fury. What had come over him? He wasn’t himself lately: strange thoughts crawling in his head, emotions overwhelming him in the least suitable moments. A month ago Shen Yuan wouldn’t have thought about snapping at Binghe, accusing him of such things, but now…

“This disciple understands,” Binghe replied dully. “This disciple will never touch shizun without his permission again.”

This was a manipulation. So obvious and crude Shen Yuan was once again overwhelmed with fury.

“Is that a promise? Lately I don’t even know whether to believe your words… Can you make a pledge? For my own peace of mind.”

Binghe froze and blinked in bafflement. Judging by his expression, he’d been expecting apologies, coaxing, anything – but not Shen Yuan happily agreeing. Shen Yuan himself didn’t know how to feel. On the one hand, he felt sorry for his husband. On the other hand, the idea of not suffering through any pain in the nearest future was incredibly attractive. And Shen Yuan was certain there would be pain: Binghe was too stubbornly evading the subject. Just like he always did whenever something wasn’t to his liking: Binghe forgot his mask of a perfectly obedient disciple and did only what he wanted to do.

Their silent exchange of glances was interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Shen-shidi? May I come in?”

“Of course, sect leader.”

Shen Yuan hastily jumped to his feet, both happy to interrupt the silence and vexed his conversation with Binghe was left unfinished.

“Shizun seems happy to see… Yue-shibo,” Binghe spat at his back. There could be no mistake: Binghe had used the exact same tone of voice when under the influence of the demonic sword. But Xinmo had been broken and sealed a long time ago, and Binghe had moved from accusations and screams to tears and whining… No matter. Shen Yuan ignored the jab, paying all his attention to Yue Qingyuan instead.

“Long time no see, shixiong. Binghe, bring more tea and snacks.”

“I’m afraid this is my fault.” Yue Qingyuan smiled softly and politely ignored the fact that Binghe had no intention of following the order. “I stopped by this morning, but Shen-shidi…”

Shen Yuan grew cold. Yue Qingyuan was going to say that he hadn’t found Shen Yuan at home, Binghe would try to find out where Shen Yuan had gone in his absence, learn the truth, throw another jealousy fit… hopefully he wouldn’t guess about the cheating and try to murder Liu Qingge on the spot. And Shen Yuan too – because Shen Yuan wouldn’t simply step aside, and Binghe could no longer force him to without the Heavenly Demon’s blood.

“…missed lord Luo too much, so I didn’t want to bother him,” Yue Qingyuan finished without a drop of insincerity. Shen Yuan sighed in relief: either Yue Qingyuan had noticed his worry, or he’d read the room, but his lie was terribly convenient. Binghe visibly relaxed and even deigned to head to the kitchen. Shen Yuan looked at his back, then turned to Yue Qingyuan. The sect leader, always calm and composed, wouldn’t wink at him, but Shen Yuan thought Yue Qingyuan was close to doing so.

For a moment Shen Yuan deeply regretted his “soulmate” wasn’t the sect leader. Unlike Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan was incredibly understanding, tactful, accommodating, and also one of the strongest fighters of this world, capable of going hand-to-hand with Bing-ge. Shen Yuan wouldn’t have to worry about their connection coming to the surface, wouldn’t have to look for excuses to meet him, wouldn’t have to fret about Binghe killing Yue Qingyuan. But… no, that’d be too awkward. The past – the past Yue Qingyuan hadn’t shared with him – wouldn’t let Shen Yuan stay ignorant and be happy.

Besides, Shen Yuan had never felt quite so attracted to the sect leader. If they were in a romantic comedy, Yue Qingyuan would be the reliable older brother, Liu Qingge would assume the role of an athlete and the most gorgeous boy in the whole school, and Binghe would be the hoodlum with a tragic past and a tender soul.

Binghe finally finished his business in the kitchen and returned with a tray full of sweet snacks. Shen Yuan winced: Yue Qingyuan didn’t like nuts in frosting, he preferred cookies and fruit…

“Take that away and get some caramel apples.”

“But shizun, you don’t like them.”

Binghe didn’t even move. Was he jealous? Did he think the moment he left Yue Qingyuan would spread Shen Yuan on the dinner table? How could he even come up with something so ridiculous? On the other hand… Shen Yuan imagined inviting Liu Qingge for tea, stealing kisses while Binghe wasn’t in the room, holding hands whenever Binghe turned away, exchanging smiles, feeding each other the tastiest bits. Warmth pooled in his stomach. Shen Yuan knew he was playing with fire, knew Binghe wouldn’t forgive the adultery, and neither Shen Yuan nor Liu Qingge would be able to defeat him even two on one, but that only made the risk and the thrill sweeter.

“It’s fine, shidi, I would hate to impose on you.”

Yue Qingyuan must have believed Shen Yuan’s silence a sign of his embarrassment and shame. Shen Yuan mentally slapped himself: he had no desire to offend the sect leader by treating him impolitely.

“Binghe will go to the kitchen and prepare caramel fruit,” Shen Yuan said evenly and forcefully. “And when he comes back, we’ll talk… the three of us. Binghe has long wanted to say something.”

Binghe curled his lips, as if drinking vinegar, but didn’t argue. Yue Qingyuan raised an eyebrow.

“Shidi, did something happen? You’re acting strange. Did you two… have a fight?”

“Oh, nothing worthy of the sect leader’s attention.”

Shen Yuan laughed with fake confidence. Yue Qingyuan politely smiled in response; his expression made it hard to understand if he’d bought the lie. No, Liu Qingge was easier to deal with, after all: at least he always openly said what he was thinking.

“Still, shidi, you’re acting strange. Can you do me a favour? Please stop by Mu-shidi, let him examine you. The sooner the better.”

“All right,” Shen Yuan said, slightly surprised. He didn’t feel sick, neither physically, nor mentally. On the other hand, perhaps he was too immersed in the situation to see clearly? Perhaps the strange thoughts crawling in Shen Yuan’s head were a consequence of a qi deviation?

“Thank you, shidi.”

Yue Qingyuan slightly nodded and softly touched the edge of Shen Yuan’s wide sleeve. Shen Yuan smiled, suppressing the habitual mixture of gratitude and pity: Yue Qingyuan seemed to be afraid that if he did anything more, Shen Yuan would snap at him, yell or chase him off.

Except Shen Yuan wasn’t the same person who’d never allowed Yue Qingyuan to say more than five phrases in a row.

As ill luck would have it, Binghe chose this very moment to come back. The atmosphere suddenly got tense: demonic qi clouded the room, all but suffocating them. The clang of cups on the tray Binghe was holding became the icing on the cake.

“Take. Your. Hands. Off,” Binghe said evenly. Yue Qingyuan didn’t even flinch.

“Shidi, does your… disciple always act like that when you’re visited by your martial siblings?”

“Not always.” Shen Yuan angrily glared at Binghe. “This was an isolated case which will never be repeated. Is that clear?”

Binghe curled his lips angrily, still glaring at Yue Qingyuan’s fingers. Yue Qingyuan removed his palm with a sigh, and the tension in the room started to subside.

“Shidi, you wanted to discuss something?”

“I… not now,” Shen Yuan replied guiltily. He wanted to force Binghe to apologise formally, to improve his relationship with Cangqiong, but now any apology would sound fake and insincere. “Begging sect leader’s pardon.”

“In that case we may move down to business.” Not for the first time today Yue Qingyuan softly smiled to ease the discomfort. “Does shidi have an empty cup?”

A cup? That’s right, the blood! It’s been two weeks since the last visit… Come to think of it, Shen Yuan didn’t really feel hungry: no appetite, so to speak. That was surely the result of his bedroom activities in Liu Qingge’s company… But if he refused now, that’d be too suspicious.

“Of course, shixiong.”

Yue Qingyuan didn’t leave immediately: first he let Shen Yuan drink the blood, then allowed him to bandage Yue Qingyuan’s wrist and apply ointment on the cut, then had some tea with sweets at Shen Yuan’s insistence… Binghe spent all this time sitting next to Shen Yuan and watching the two of them like a hawk. Finally Shen Yuan hinted he wouldn’t dare to impose on the sect leader any longer: Shen Yuan wasn’t blind and could see full well Yue Qingyuan was worried about him. But Shen Yuan could deal with his husband on his own.

The moment the door locked behind Yue Qingyuan, Binghe stopped holding back.

“Shizun doesn’t mind drinking his blood!”

Shen Yuan stayed silent. He had no intention of letting Binghe drag him into a useless argument. The longer Shen Yuan kept spewing excuses, the easier it would be to make him feel guilty.

“Does shizun have nothing to say? Shizun must have been really happy to see the sect leader. More than he was seeing me.”

Shen Yuan silently opened his fan, still not intending to reply. Let Binghe speak his mind, get tired, stop talking – then they would be able to have a proper conversation.

“Shizun won’t say a single word to me? Perhaps shizun is disgusted with my company?”

Oh, here were the tears. Shen Yuan slowly fanned himself, amazed at his own composure: how did he suddenly become so collected? Normally he quickly fell for Binghe’s manipulations, even if he somewhat realised he was acting stupidly. Now Shen Yuan analysed the situation, seeing the purpose behind every phrase and the best course of action to avoid surrendering. It was completely unlike him, even bothering him somewhat, but the method proved to be surprisingly efficient: Binghe’s tears immediately dried off the moment he understood this time Shen Yuan wasn’t going to buy the performance.

“Shizun? Say something.”

Shen Yuan seemed close to success: a bit more, and Binghe would be ready to listen. To discuss the terms, to make concessions, but to do what Shen Yuan asked of him.

The next moment Binghe’s fingers closed around Shen Yuan’s wrist. Binghe tore the fan out of Shen Yuan’s hand, broke the wooden slates with a crunch and threw the ruined trinket aside.

“Stop hiding from me!”

Shen Yuan’s mind seemed to split in two: one part overwhelmed with horror, offense, outrage and surprise, the other one coldly calculating. Apparently, Binghe had had no intention of listening. No intention of letting Shen Yuan speak, even. What should Shen Yuan do next? No surrendering, that’s for sure. He should hold on. Even if Binghe lost his temper… Yue Qingyuan hadn’t had enough time to leave the peak. Together they could handle it.

Was Shen Yuan actually considering a cold-blooded murder of his husband?!

The thought instilled such horror in him that Shen Yuan shuddered and probably paled. Binghe clearly noticed, but Shen Yuan had no composure left to analyse the meaning of it and the possible consequences.

“Shizun, I’m sorry. I…” Binghe picked the broken fan off the floor. “I’ll fix it, promise…”

It wasn’t about the fan, which had been inherited from the previous owner, Shen Yuan didn’t particularly like it. Now he’d have a reason to ask Liu Qingge for a gift. But the fact that Binghe had so easily broken the thing that had belonged to Shen Yuan for more than ten years… It was like losing a piece of Shen Yuan’s past. Who knew how the original had obtained the fan? Had it been a gift? A spur-of-the-moment purchase? Or a carefully planned order? There was no one left in the world who could answer.

Binghe had hardly realised what he had broken with his careless action. But that reflected Binghe’s personality – the willingness to break and throw aside anything he didn’t like.

“I just… shizun is always hiding from me, unwilling to show how he feels. I thought shizun was deliberately pulling away and got scared. Shizun, this won’t happen again, I promise!”

That’s a lie .

Shen Yuan shuddered again, suppressing his rising horror. What was wrong with him?!

“I… shizun, I really…” Binghe raised his teary eyes. The tears kept falling down – right on the thick paper, smearing the ink drawing. At this rate the fan would be beyond repair…

And Binghe was expecting Shen Yuan to start comforting him.

Fat chance .

“Fix it now. Come back when you’re done,” Shen Yuan said drily while standing up. Binghe followed him with an unreadable gaze, but stayed quiet; he must have noticed the shaking of Shen Yuan’s hands.

After locking the bedroom door Shen Yuan slid down the wall, completely exhausted. He should visit Mu Qingfang all right! Yue Qingyuan wasn’t wrong, something was influencing Shen Yuan, making him act weirdly. The System would probably give him an OOC penalty, were it still alive.

Binghe timidly knocked a few hours later, after Shen Yuan had meditated, made sure he was under no threat of a qi deviation in the nearest future, calmed down a bit and laid on the bed with a book and melon seeds. Oh, he wished for a laptop or at least a smartphone with internet access… In his past life Shen Yuan had been able to go for days without making his bed, abusing the fact that he had been living alone, with no one to scold him: his family had been too busy, and Shen Yuan hadn’t had a girlfriend – or a boyfriend – before.

Now he had two. Shen Yuan sighed and made himself comfortable. He wished Liu Qingge were here… Liu Qingge’s presence was always soothing, letting Shen Yuan feel safe, giving him a chance to hide behind Liu Qingge’s back. In reality it was more complicated, of course: without the protagonist’s abilities or halo Liu Qingge would be unable to help Shen Yuan fight the most powerful and dangerous opponents. Binghe could. But Shen Yuan couldn’t think of Binghe as his protector. Binghe was either a child, a disciple Shen Yuan was supposed to protect, – or a threat.

A knock on the door pulled Shen Yuan out of his musings.

“Shizun, may I come in?”

“Have you fixed the fan?”

The door opened. Binghe was standing in the doorway, hunched and trying to look smaller; it looked almost funny, considering he was taller than Shen Yuan.

“I did. Here, take a look. It’ll take a shichen for the glue to dry.”

Well. They needed to get down to business: Binghe had already grown bold enough to enter without permission, his guilt wouldn’t last long.

“What is the lesson that you’ve learnt after today’s incident?” Shen Yuan tried to copy the original goods’ cold tone. It worked pretty well: Binghe automatically straightened his back and tensed.

“Answering shizun: this disciple acted unseemly and was swayed by his emotions! This disciple wouldn’t dare to break shizun’s belongings, but shizun…”

“Enough,” Shen Yuan added more ice to his tone. Binghe seemed to be ready to blame Shen Yuan, playing his favourite act of a confused child deserving nothing but pity. “You broke something of mine. But you’ve fixed what was broken. Are there traces left on the fan?”

“I hid them under a new drawing.”

Binghe raised his head, clearly waiting to be praised. Shen Yuan hummed contemplatively.

“Here’s your lesson: it’s possible to fix what was once broken, but that requires effort. The fan won’t be the same, but it’s fine.”

“This disciple…”

“I’m not done.” It cost Shen Yuan a lot of effort not to snap, but he felt he couldn’t show weakness now. “Binghe fixed the consequences of his actions, so I’m willing to forgive him. Not right now, but in the future. Now we’re going to repeat that.”

“Repeat?..”

“Starting from tomorrow you’ll start fixing everything you broke while I was absent. You’ll publicly apologise to the sect leader, bring him generous gifts, ask for a way to make amends. You’ll do the same on every peak… especially Baizhan. And you will act properly until you earn forgiveness. No fights, no disrespect.”

“And if I’m never forgiven?” Binghe bit his lip; his eyes got teary once again.

“You will be,” Shen Yuan promised as softly as he could. “You will need a lot of time, but if you show your sincere regret, show that you’ve changed, that you wouldn’t have acted like that if you hadn’t been under the sword’s influence, – you will be forgiven.”

Shen Yuan knew it from experience: people had forgiven the original goods’ shitty behavior after Shen Yuan had put some effort into it. Sincerity had been enough.

The sincerity that Binghe clearly lacked. If he started apologising under pressure, others would just mock his hypocrisy – and it wouldn’t be undeserved.

“And you, shizun? Have you forgiven me?..”

“For what?” Shen Yuan was still speaking softly, like he was dealing with a scared kid.

“For today. I… got scared. That shizun would… would abandon me again. And… I don’t know how to explain. I didn’t want that, I was afraid, but at the same time I wanted for this to end, no matter how. I know I don’t deserve shizun’s love…”

Shen Yuan opened his arms with a sigh. Well, his weird calculated approach brought results: he finally managed to start talking to Binghe openly. A bit more – and Shen Yuan might be able to help Binghe deal with a heart demon.

“Come here.”

Binghe didn’t make him wait, immediately pressing his body to Shen Yuan’s and tucking his wet face into Shen Yuan’s neck.

“Shizun, I…”

“Go on. You said you were afraid.” Shen Yuan patted Binghe’s tangled hair. “No need to be. I’m here. Be honest with me.”

“But I can’t,” Binghe said quietly. “If I’m honest, shizun will believe me to be vile and nasty. Will dump me. Won’t ever wish to touch me.”

“Oh, Binghe…” Shen Yuan couldn’t stop himself from pressing his lips to the top of Binghe’s head. “What am I going to do with you?..”

“Don’t leave me,” Binghe replied immediately. “I’ll do anything you want, I’ll act however you like. Just don’t leave me.”

For a moment Shen Yuan didn’t know where to start, but then he collected his thoughts.

“Binghe, you don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not in order to conquer me. Just be yourself. None of the fake tears and tricks. I don’t want you to suffer trying to fit your idea of my tastes.”

“But whenever I’m sincere shizun is always mad.” Binghe laughed shortly, his wet breath tickling Shen Yuan’s neck. “When I tell those fools that they don’t deserve my attention, when I show what I really think…”

“Binghe.”

Shen Yuan said it as calmly as before, not raising his voice, but Binghe froze in his arms.

“Shizun?..”

“I will repeat what I once told Liu-shidi. I trust you. I know your heart isn’t kind, but I don’t think it’s evil. You’ve done a lot under the sword’s influence, it’s true, but now you’re in your right mind. And… you pick a path that you follow. I don’t believe you can turn into the monster you describe. The person who doesn’t care about anyone, the person led only by his whims, cruelly punishing others for every minor thing… we’ve met this person already. And he’s not you.”

Binghe uttered a broken sigh.

“And if I were like him… would shizun stay with me?”

“I had a choice between you two,” Shen Yuan reminded. “And I chose you.”

“And you never regretted it?”

“Not once.”

Contrary to his expectations, Binghe tensed even more. What did Shen Yuan do wrong? He’d wanted to ensure Binghe he had nothing to be afraid of…

Speaking of that. Perhaps Shen Yuan should have approached the problem from a different angle.

“Binghe, why are you so scared that I might fall out of love with you? We’re not strangers. You’ll always be my disciple, and I’ll be your shizun. Whatever happens.”

“Only my shizun?”

“Binghe.” Shen Yuan sighed tiredly. “No, don’t say anything, give me time to collect my thoughts.”

“Why?.. Is shizun going to say something I won’t like?”

“Perhaps.”

Binghe clutched Shen Yuan in his arms to the point of pain.

“I won’t let go.”

“You promised you wouldn’t force me,” Shen Yuan reminded. “Ever.”

“I… of course. But…”

“Binghe, I’m not leaving you. I just meant to say… even if we fell out of love, that wouldn’t make you worse. You won’t become bad or unwanted just because…”

“I’ll never fall out of love with shizun!”

“Things happen, it’s life. No one can predict what will become of us in a year, two, three, ten, a century. So please, remember that you’re loved and wanted. Your mother loved you and sacrificed her life for you. I love you and will sacrifice my life for you, if necessary. That won’t change. You don’t have to beg for attention like for scraps.”

“Really?”

That sounded so childishly Shen Yuan couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Really. Do you feel better now?”

“Thank you, shizun.” Binghe finally raised his eyes. “But still… you won’t leave me, will you?”

Shen Yuan desperately wished to say something like “how can I get away from you, you sticky creature?”, but held back. Now was not the time for evasion. However, Shen Yuan couldn’t just promise “I won’t leave you”: he was trying to show Binghe that their breakup wouldn’t become an insurmountable tragedy.

“I know I’m right about you. You’re not a bad person… you’re the person I fell in love with.”

“I…” Binghe frowned in concentration. “I’ll apologise. And bring gifts.”

“Good boy.”

Shen Yuan kissed his forehead, exactly where the demonic mark used to be.

“Shizun… please don’t leave me. Stay with me tonight!”

“Come here,” Shen Yuan whispered, and Binghe pressed his lips to Shen Yuan’s… alas, not in a kiss, but in an attempt to bite. Shen Yuan lightly pushed at his chest.

“Binghe, we’ve agreed to…”

“Don’t push me away, please!” Binghe screamed in anguish and painfully bit Shen Yuan’s lip again. Shen Yuan froze. If they continued, he’d break his promise to Liu Qingge not to let Binghe hurt him again. If they stopped, the whole heartfelt conversation with Binghe would be in vain.

One time. Shen Yuan would suffer through it one more time – purely for the sake of his husband’s peace of mind.

The fact that Binghe was distraught and didn’t really know what he was doing made everything a bit easier: Shen Yuan could clearly see Binghe’s hands shaking, Binghe awkwardly untying the cords of their clothes, as if he’d forgotten how to do it. Binghe wasn’t hurting him on purpose, Binghe just couldn’t think of anything else right now. He wanted to be close – the way he was used to. Perhaps next time, once Binghe calmed down a bit, he would be able to listen to Shen Yuan’s words, to hold back, to do everything the way Shen Yuan liked it. But now…

Now Binghe was tearing Shen Yuan’s clothes apart, leaving bite marks on Shen Yuan’s neck and chest, desperately pressing close, as if trying to crawl under Shen Yuan’s skin. Shen Yuan silently hugged him and patted his head, wordlessly trying to convey “Don’t be afraid, I’m here.” Binghe relaxed a bit, and Shen Yuan risked removing one hand, looking away to search for the ointment, but Binghe immediately pulled his hair to attract his attention.

“Shizun, look at me! Only at me!”

“Don’t do that aga…”

Shen Yuan’s back arched in pain. Binghe’s patience was only enough to tear off Shen Yuan’s undergarments, shove a knee between Shen Yuan’s legs, untie the laces on Binghe’s own pants and break into Shen Yuan’s body with all his might. Shen Yuan tucked his nose into his husband’s neck, suppressing a scream. Binghe grabbed him under his thighs, started moving, not giving Shen Yuan any time to adjust. Good thing Shen Yuan had recently had sex, so his body was still stretched and ready for an intrusion. Had Shen Yuan stayed faithful to his husband, the consequences would’ve been way more severe.

“Shizun, I love you… I’ll never let you go… be with me, only with me…” Binghe muttered deliriously, biting Shen Yuan’s clavicle. Once again Shen Yuan fell into the cold state that allowed him to notice discrepancies in other people’s words and plan his own speech ahead. Binghe said “I’ll never let you go”, and he likely wasn’t lying. Come to think of it, this wasn’t the first slip of the tongue he’d made. If Shen Yuan tried to leave, Binghe would drag him back by force.

And if Shen Yuan stayed, Binghe still wouldn’t let him live in peace.

Shen Yuan uttered a broken sigh. Enough. Why should he always make sacrifices while Binghe was doing as he pleased? It was time for Shen Yuan to remember he wasn’t a kindergarten nanny, but an equal partner.

“Binghe, you’re hu…”

Binghe pressed his palm to Shen Yuan’s mouth, not letting him finish.

“Later… shizun will punish me later. And now let me… I need…”

Shen Yuan jerked painfully and got stunned by a wave of demonic energy.

“Shizun, please, don’t,” Binghe said pitifully and hysterically. “We… don’t destroy what we have.”

Had Shen Yuan the power and the opportunity, he’d be screaming out loud, calling for help… Liu Qingge’s or Yue Qingyuan’s, it didn’t matter. But there was no competing with the protagonist: Binghe deftly pressed Shen Yuan to bed, not letting him move, twist out, breathe. Resigning himself to the inevitable, Shen Yuan went limp – after all, Binghe’s movements already turned jerky and impatient. He’d hardly need much time.

Later, once Binghe finished, he kissed the tears off Shen Yuan’s eyelashes, bridal-carried him to the tub with hot water, washed him and put him to bed. Shen Yuan silently allowed that, he didn’t even jerk when Binghe lay next to him, throwing his hand over Shen Yuan’s waist and putting his head on Shen Yuan’s chest. Why should he care?.. It wasn’t even the worst of their bedroom adventures. Shen Yuan had been hurt more than that.

And that wouldn’t be the last time. Binghe had clearly shown talking to him was useless. Next time he’d likely come up with a new trick, a new excuse to cause Shen Yuan pain. And he’d try to play the victim again.

Damn it, how much easier had it been to live lying to himself! The cold analysis didn’t let Shen Yuan blindly trust Binghe’s words, come up with a new justification, say “he didn’t want it, it wasn’t his fault, he won’t do it again.” Now the lie seemed pathetic, but Shen Yuan couldn’t and didn’t want to live with the truth – the realisation that this would continue, that he had nowhere to run, that there was no hope for him.

He needed to see Mu Qingfang first thing in the morning. Find out the nature of Shen Yuan’s uncharacteristic thoughts, where they’d come from and how to get rid of them.

In the morning Binghe tried to suck up to him, brought him breakfast in bed, cried and apologised for his “impatience”, but Shen Yuan was unyielding. He’d had enough.

“If you’re an adult, then act like one. Take responsibility for your words and actions.”

“If shizun allows, I can heal him,” Binghe drawled. Shen Yuan started shivering: if he let his husband close now, asked for help applying the ointment, Binghe would once again “be unable to hold back” and drag Shen Yuan to bed, ignoring his direct refusal.

“I’ll manage. Does Binghe remember what we talked about yesterday?”

“The apologies?.. Shizun, but if even you aren’t ready to forgive me, how can I expect it from them?”

Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow.

“It’s their right to forgive you or not. Your task is to show that you sincerely regret your actions and won’t do anything like that again.”

“But if they…”

“Enough!” Shen Yuan barely managed to regain his temper. “We’ll start from Qiancao peak, I feel unwell anyway. Mu Qingfang is a reasonable man, at least he won’t threaten you or chase after you with his sword drawn.”

“Shizun is sick? Then let’s go…”

Binghe impulsively jumped to his feet, and Shen Yuan clutched his fan in his palm, suppressing his wish to shove the very same fan up his husband’s ass.

“Sit down! Are you going to intrude onto Mu-shidi’s peak without permission? To break the rules of our sect? Is that how you show you’re sorry?”

Binghe bit his lip. Shen Yuan made sure his words had reached the recipient’s ears and only then sighed.

“I’ll send a disciple, ask for Mu-shidi to come here. You will meet him at the doorstep and apologise. Publicly. Then I’ll talk to him.”

“And what if he doesn’t want to talk and leaves?” Binghe asked stubbornly. “Let him examine shizun first, before everything else.”

Shen Yuan argued a bit, but failed to convince his spouse. He had no choice but to agree, on the condition that Binghe would stay silent during the examination, obey all instructions unquestioningly or leave and stay in his shed, if Mu Qingfang wanted.

Surprisingly, it went better than Shen Yuan had expected. Mu Qingfang arrived quickly, barely glanced at Binghe and immediately sat down to take Shen Yuan’s pulse. Using the chance, Shen Yuan sent Binghe away to get some tea and snacks.

“Shixiong is overall healthy,” Mu Qingfang concluded, taking his hand away. “There are some physical injuries, I can give shixiong an ointment…”

“No need,” Shen Yuan coughed. “It’s fine, I’ll heal.”

“As you wish,” Mu Qingfang replied drily. “Just in case let me tell you that an ordinary ointment for treating small wounds wouldn’t be suitable, you’d need something…”

“I understand,” Shen Yuan hastily interrupted, feeling his ears burn in embarrassment. “That’s not why I addressed shidi. Lately it seems like… I’m haunted by strange thoughts. I believe it can be a consequence of heart demons or a qi deviation.”

Mu Qingfang shook his head.

“I didn’t notice anything strange in the flow of your qi. If you have doubts, ask Liu-shixiong to help, he often cleansed your meridians and perfectly knows the base state of your spiritual veins.”

“Than what could be the reason?”

“Describe your worries in more details, shixiong. Otherwise I won’t be able to tell.”

“I,” Shen Yuan paused, “seem to think in a manner different from usual. Perceive the world slightly differently… coldly and calculatingly, as if I’m on a battlefield. I don’t know what could’ve caused it.”

“Ah.” Mu Qingfang relaxed a bit and assumed a more comfortable position. “I have a suspicion.”

“Begging shidi to share.”

“It’s because of your… unique condition. To be fair, I’ve long wondered what could’ve led to such an effect. I suspect the sap of a purple longevity orchid mixed with the blood of a demonic blind finch, both older than a century. As you well know…”

“I know of their properties,” Shen Yuan interrupted. “But how could the combination result in… this?”

“I’m not certain what spells your… teacher used to change your body and to stabilise the effect. But you yearn for blood, just like the finch. The orchid is a parasitic plant, but it has mutually beneficial cooperation with the finch. So, I suppose, you’ve acquired their properties: the finch gave you the ability to make a stable union with a chosen partner, while the orchid helps you sense your partner’s thoughts and mood, and even exchange with them.”

“So,” Shen Yuan said slowly, “these thoughts are, strictly speaking, not mine?”

“It’s hard to tell, but I suspect the thoughts are yours. However, the worldview… Like on a battlefield, you say? Perhaps this is your chosen partner’s way of perception.”

Shen Yuan grew cold. That’s right, Liu Qingge could clearly see other people’s disadvantages and weaknesses, Shen Yuan didn’t have any reply whenever Liu Qingge criticised Binghe… So Shen Yuan had sort of fallen into Liu Qingge’s mindset? Come to think of it, the timeline made sense: his strange thoughts appeared approximately after the beginning of the more… intimate relationship. Good thing Mu Qingfang didn’t know!.. Good thing Shen Yuan had been smart enough not to blurt out he already had a suitable ointment, lest Mu Qingfang guessed how he’d gotten it, put two and two together and drew the right conclusion.

“And… how can it influence me in the future? What does shidi think?”

Shen Yuan internally decided to beat any possible information out of Airplane, but two sources of knowledge were better than one.

“I assume you will be able to sense your partner’s approach like the finch senses its orchid. It may also be that the deeper your connection, the better you will be able to sense each other. Not a proper exchange of thoughts, of course, but bodily sensations.”

“I see,” Shen Yuan said, almost distantly. “Thank you, shidi.”

“This is merely guesswork, of course,” Mu Qingfang said guiltily. “I may very well be wrong.”

“That would be a pity.”

Shen Yuan smiled at his own thoughts. The ability to sense each other promised interesting opportunities in bed. If Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge continued their experiments with the ointment, Shen Yuan would at least find out what it felt like to top. And if Shen Yuan finally gathered the courage to take Liu Qingge, he would be sure his lover wouldn’t be hurt.

A sound of footsteps came from behind the door. Shen Yuan and Mu Qingfang turned their heads in unison.

Hiding his gaze, Binghe marched to the table, put a tray full of snacks on it, then fell on his knees and hit his forehead on the ground.

“This unworthy disciple is begging Mu-shishu for forgiveness.”

Mu Qingfang blinked, slowly turned his gaze to Shen Yuan and raised an eyebrow. Shen Yuan lightly nodded.

Binghe kept talking about the demonic sword having clouded his mind, about being deeply sorry. He promised generous gifts to Qiancao peak, swore he would never threaten the sect, would prove his words and repent as much as he needed for Mu Qingfang to forgive him.

“What is lord Luo apologising for?” Mu Qingfang asked, deceptively calmly, after hearing the end of the speech.

“Driven insane by his grief, this disciple spat on everything connecting him to the sect, kidnapped Mu-shishu and held him captive, attacked Cangqiong sect and its adepts,” Luo Binghe listed readily, “acted indecently, allowed his subordinates to harm the sect, committed many crimes, broke sect rules…”

“If my memory serves me right, lord Luo broke the sect rules after he’d already destroyed the sword,” Mu Qingfang interrupted. Luo Binghe didn’t even flinch.

“And this is yet another digression for which this disciple apologises to Mu-shishu.”

“I’m not the only one hurt by your actions,” Mu Qingfang reminded. Luo Binghe nodded, his forehead still pressed to the floor.

“Right. This disciple will apologise to the other peak lords too.”

“Oh well.” Mu Qingfang stood up. “I make no promises, but I’ll send a list of demonic plants and animals the peak needs. To make use of lord Luo’s unexpected generosity.”

“Better a lean jade than an empty halter” was left unsaid. Shen Yuan nodded and also stood up to see his guest off, but Luo Binghe suddenly clutched his sleeve.

“Is Mu-shishu leaving already? You haven’t even tried the tea…”

“Lord Luo is getting ahead of himself,” Mu Qingfang replied drily. “I agreed to give you a chance… that doesn’t mean I enjoy your company.”

“This disciple understands.” Luo Binghe lowered his head. “However… this disciple will be pleased if from this point on Mu-shishu calls this disciple shizhi.”

Mu Qingfang hummed, said goodbye and left. Shen Yuan accompanied him to the gate, and when he returned, he was surprised to find Luo Binghe still kneeling.

“Binghe, what are you?..”

“Did this disciple… say something wrong?” Binghe looked at Shen Yuan shyly, like a child hoping to be praised. “Mu-shishu seemed unhappy.”

“Give him time.” Shen Yuan patted the top of Binghe’s curly head. “It’s going to be all right. You did well.”

“Shizun, is what Mu-shishu said true?” Binghe started deftly placing the tea and snacks on the table. “Will you be able to sense this disciple?”

Shen Yuan tried to make his smile as natural as he could.

“It’s hard to say. There has been no similar cases before, or at least we don’t know of them. Perhaps Mu-shidi is right, perhaps he’s mistaken. Time will tell.”

Shen Yuan didn’t really doubt that Mu Qingfang was right… anyway, it wasn’t like Binghe was his “chosen partner”. Shen Yuan hadn’t even chosen him: he’d convinced himself that it’d been his decision…

Catching the strange thought, Shen Yuan vexedly shook his head. Enough of that, shidi! Let your lover keep at least some of his illusions!

“That would be great.” Binghe smiled dreamily. “I’d love to show shizun how good it feels for me when we…”

“Does it feel good for you?” Shen Yuan interrupted. “Because for me it doesn’t! I asked you not to cause me pain, but you can’t even do that much!”

“This disciple will make amends!” Luo Binghe promised hotly. “Perhaps I should study more literature…”

“Perhaps you should listen to me and do what I want, not follow your whims!” Shen Yuan snapped. “And until I hear a promise…”

“This disciple promises not to hurt shizun!” Binghe assured immediately. “And promises to heed shizun’s every word!”

“I see,” after a nod Shen Yuan continued, “then start gathering gifts for Qiancao.”

“I’ll send out orders at once!”

Binghe rushed to the desk.

“Good boy. Pack me some snacks.”

“Is shizun… going somewhere?”

Binghe froze like a hound sensing its prey.

“Anding peak.” Shen Yuan scrunched his nose. “I need to ask your… Shang-shishu about something.”

Having made sure that Shen Yuan’s irritation caused by the thoughts of Shang Qinghua wasn’t fake, Binghe cheered up again, obediently packed some sweets into a laquered box and sat down to write missives. Shen Yuan left him without worries.

His visit to Anding didn’t take long: bribed by the protagonist’s cooking, Airplane didn’t deny anything. “Come on, bro, it’s soulmates, I didn’t even try to make up any lore, it’ll come in handy in bed, I’m so jealous.” Mu Qingfang hadn’t been wrong: in time Shen Yuan would start to sense Liu Qingge’s feelings, as well as to transmit his own. Shang Qinghua assured it wouldn’t come to mind-reading, and Shen Yuan was embarrassingly relieved about it: Liu Qingge had no business knowing about the mess going on in Shen Yuan’s head!

He couldn’t stay longer: Shang Qinghua started dropping lewd hints and promising “Binghe would never suspect of his green hat”, so Shen Yuan had to run with his tail between his legs, leaving the box of food in the enemy’s hands. The thought of Shang Qinghua knowing his secret and being able to sell him out at any given moment wasn’t pleasing, but Shen Yuan couldn’t change the situation.

No matter. Shen Yuan could think about it later… preferably not in the nearest future. Now he wanted to go back to his peak and to take a rest: the way to Anding and back had been exhausting, especially after yesterday’s bedroom adventures.

However, Shen Yuan’s plans weren’t meant to be: the sect leader was already waiting for him in the bamboo house.

“I heard Mu-shidi visited you in the morning. How did it go?” Yue Qingyuan asked the moment they were done with the greetings. Shen Yuan shook his head.

“No qi deviations, nothing serious. Don’t worry, shixiong, I’m fine.”

“I see.” Yue Qingyuan palpably relaxed. “And… emotionally? Shidi seemed upset yesterday.”

“Your husband caused a scene yesterday, are you all right?” Shen Yuan deciphered. Well, the question was easy to answer.

“If you remember, shixiong, Binghe wanted to discuss something with you.”

Binghe didn’t let him down: he immediately appeared on the doorstep, as if he’d been secretly listening the whole time, fell on his knees, repeated his heartfelt speech, promised generous gifts… Yue Qingyuan was watching all this undeterredly.

“Say something, shixiong,” Shen Yuan asked plaintively. Everything depended on the sect leader’s approval: if Yue Qingyuan gave an example by forgiving Binghe, the other peak lords wouldn’t dare to oppose it. Binghe would once again visit Qingjing openly and rightfully, not sneak in like a thief.

Yue Qingyuan shifted his gaze to Shen Yuan and smiled serenely.

“I need to speak to lord Luo alone. I don’t want to chase you out of your own house, so I suggest we move the conversation to Qiongding…”

“No need,” Shen Yuan interrupted. “You won’t bother me, and I’ll find something to do… how much time will you need?”

“Hard to tell.” Yue Qingyuan shrugged. “About a shichen?”

“In this case I’ll leave you be,” Shen Yuan hurried to the exit. Luo Binghe tried to grab the edge of his sleeve, but aborted the movement halfway. Shen Yuan suppressed an impulse to pat his head, bowed to the sect leader and exited.

Soon the walk tired him out: Shen Yuan still hadn’t recovered after his climb to Anding, hadn’t rested properly, and now felt his lower back aching and his legs trembling. Thankfully, there was a pavilion nearby: almost abandoned, people rarely came here, but Shen Yuan happily used the chance to lie on the stone bed and to regain his breath.

Someone’s palm lay on his back, spiritual energy flowing through his veins. Shen Yuan hummed sleepily, then realised what was going on and sat up.

“What are you doing here?”

“Mu Qingfang sent a note, told me to come see you and clear your meridians.” Liu Qingge frowned unhappily. “Although I don’t sense anything unusual.”

“Ah.” Shen Yuan relaxed a bit, then immediately tensed again. “But how did you know I was here? Did you stop by the bamboo house to ask? Or did you follow me?”

“Neither.” Liu Qingge frowned perplexedly. “I just… damn it, I just sensed I needed to go here. I can’t explain.”

Shen Yuan sighed and patted the spot on the bench next to him. They had a hard conversation ahead of them.

Having explained in detail what exactly their “soulmate connection” could provide to them, Shen Yuan gave Liu Qingge a choice: either to leave everything as it was, knowing the bond would strengthen in time, or to try and stop its action. After all, there most likely was a way. Shen Yuan could name a few artifacts at the drop of a hat…

“If you’re unwell, you’ll be able to call me for help?” Liu Qingge had long finished the energy transfusion, and now his palm was lying on Shen Yuan’s shoulder, warming the skin even through the layers of clothes. “And I’ll sense where you are, will be able to find you?”

“Correct. Most likely I’ll also sense your approach… this goes both ways.”

“Then no need to change anything,” Liu Qingge said decisively. “Call me if you need me.”

“Is shidi sure? Perhaps there will be things you’ll want to hide from me but will be unable to…”

“I understand.” Liu Qingge stood up, walked around Shen Yuan and got down on one knee in front of him, looking straight into his eyes. “And I’m willing to pay this price.”

Damn it, how was Shen Yuan supposed to react to that?!

“Come here.”

Liu Qingge readily obeyed, pressing Shen Yuan to the bench and hovering over him. Shen Yuan tilted his head, hugged Liu Qingge by the neck, pressed his lips to Liu Qingge’s lips. They were kissing like hormonal teenagers, ignoring the uncomfortable angle and the danger of being seen.

Liu Qingge suddenly tore away from him, hastily straightened his lopsided guan, smoothed the wrinkles on his clothes.

“Someone’s coming.”

Shen Yuan nodded, cleaning himself up.

“Hide.”

Thankfully, Liu Qingge didn’t argue, but obediently stepped away, so that even Shen Yuan, who knew of his presence, could barely see or sense anything. Right, Liu Qingge was an experienced hunter, he likely knew how to lay an ambush and wait.

One of Qingjing peak senior disciples approached the pavilion and bowed.

“Shizun, the sect leader is waiting for you. He says he’s ready to continue the conversation.”

“Tell him I’ll be there soon,” Shen Yuan ordered, hoping his voice didn’t sound too weird. The disciple bowed again and left; Shen Yuan sighed in relief and waved his hand, showing there was no more need to hide.

“Go, they’re waiting for you.”

Liu Qingge lightly pushed Shen Yuan in the shoulder. Shen Yuan nodded, took a few steps, then, unable to hold himself back, turned around and pulled Liu Qingge into his arms again.

“A bit longer!..”

Liu Qingge didn’t argue. Shen Yuan realised he was doing something stupid, knew he needed to rush to the bamboo hut, praying that no one suspected anything and went to look for their wayward shizun, but he didn’t give a damn. He wanted to stay longer. He wished he and Liu Qingge didn’t need to separate or hide at all. He wanted to go past the kisses. He wanted to keep Liu Qingge close, to take him to the bamboo house by the hand and to openly call Liu Qingge his own.

For the first time Shen Yuan realised how Binghe must have felt when he’d begged Shen Yuan not to go, not to leave him. Previously Shen Yuan had believed his disciple to be too sticky and insecure, even secretly gotten angry at him, but now Shen Yuan fully knew that lo… attraction made people do strange, stupid and sometimes totally uncharacteristic things.

“It’s time for you to go,” Liu Qingge whispered, not even trying to disentangle himself from the embrace.

“Yeah.” Shen Yuan kissed him again, licked the thin string of saliva off Liu Qingge’s lower lip. “Yes. I’ll go…”

Liu Qingge uttered a broken sigh and pressed his forehead to Shen Yuan’s. Shen Yuan smiled widely, eagerly inhaling the intensified smell. He was sharing his breath with Liu Qingge, and it was surprisingly pleasant. Sweet.

Shen Yuan wanted more.

“This… connection of yours… ours,” Liu Qingge mumbled in-between kisses, “can it influence me in any way? Make me do what you tell me, even if I refuse?”

“No.” Shen Yuan got so scared he came back to his senses. “No way. I wouldn’t…”

“Are you sure?” Liu Qingge held him close, stopping his attempt to pull away. “And what if… what if it was possible? If you could give any order… and I wouldn’t have a choice? I would be forced to obey you?...”

Shen Yuan gulped. He wasn’t sure he interpreted the hint correctly… if he did, then Liu Qingge’s tastes were rather peculiar.

“Is shidi certain he’d like to be under my power? I’m an evil vampire after all… I might kidnap you, take you to my lair. It’s my job to steal peerless beauties.”

Liu Qingge lowered his head to hide his smile. His cheeks were blushing crimson, and his hard cock was already pressing into Shen Yuan’s thigh.

“I don’t know what a vampire is, but since it’s your job…”

“It is,” Shen Yuan said grandly. “Expect an attack in the nearest future.”

Liu Qingge snorted, kissed the tip of Shen Yuan’s nose and reluctantly let him out of his arms.

“Warn me when you’re going to attack. What if our peak’s defences are too much for you?”

Shen Yuan feigned a frown.

“How dare you doubt my abilities?!”

“I’ve seen those abilities of yours with my own two eyes, that’s how,” Liu Qingge retaliated. “And you do have to leave.”

“Yes.” Shen Yuan stepped away, internally scolding himself. They were both adults, enough with roleplaying a scene straight out of “Romeo and Juliet”! “Yes, you’re right. Of course I do.”

Neither of them wanted to avert their gaze first. Shen Yuan retreated, walking backwards, admiring Liu Qingge’s tousled appearance, and didn’t notice reaching the stairs. Unable to find a solid place to step on, Shen Yuan waved his arm, and Liu Qingge immediately grabbed him, held him, letting him regain his equilibrium.

“Now it’s definitely time for me to go.”

Shen Yuan was smiling stupidly. He didn’t even care about the awkward situation and the loss of face: he was in Liu Qingge’s arms again, delaying their separation for a little while longer.

“Go already.”

“I’m going,” Shen Yuan squeezed Liu Qingge’s palm in his own for the last time, forced himself to turn around and head for the bamboo house. Soon the pavillion was left behind a sharp turn, Shen Yuan hid a silly smirk behind his fan and tried to distract himself.

How should he explain his delay?.. Perhaps with fatigue, that wouldn’t even be a lie. Let Binghe feel guilty for yesterday’s events. Shen Yuan hardly had any traces on him that’d allow anyone suspect something amiss: Liu Qingge hadn’t left bruises nor bites, had been holding him carefully and tenderly. What did people in dramas do to expose their cheating spouses? Find strange hair on their clothes? But both Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge had long black hair. Sniff? No, Liu Qingge only used hair oil with bitter woody scent, and even that was weak, barely noticeable, unless one stood very close to him. Even if there was some smell lingering on Shen Yuan’s clothes, it’d soon disappear. Binghe had no reason to suspect of adultery, he had no proof. Shen Yuan was safe – for now.

Pity he’d never learnt “Romeo and Juliet” by heart. Shen Yuan would like to explain the shout-out to Liu Qingge, but the story would lose its magic after being retold, would sound dry and stupid. Besides, Liu Qingge deserved to be read love poetry. Deserved a beautiful courtship. Deserved a proper relationship, not stolen moments of proximity and secret dates. Deserved everything.

Shen Yuan would give him everything he could. He’d divorce his husband as soon as he was sure Binghe recovered and was able to survive the separation. After all, people got together and broke up all the time, it was a natural part of life. No need to make it into a tragedy.

Shen Yuan was already expected in the bamboo house. Thankfully, Binghe didn’t throw a jealousy fit in front of the sect leader, although Shen Yuan didn’t doubt an interrogation was waiting for him.

“Thanking shidi for giving us the time to discuss everything.”

As usual, Yue Qingyuan came to his rescue without Shen Yuan needing to ask. Shen Yuan felt a pang of guilt and hastily hid behind the fan.

“Begging sect leader’s pardon, I… didn’t sleep well yesterday and got a bit tired.”

“It’s all right,” Yue Qingyuan replied after a small pause. “Shidi, I spoke to lord Luo.”

“This disciple will be grateful if Yue-shibo calls him shizhi,” Luo Binghe added.

“Lord Luo will officially apologise and bring gifts to all the peak lords.” Yue Qingyuan pretended not to notice the interruption. “After which I shall cross out the rule forbidding lord Luo from coming to the sect. Of course, each peak lord will decide on their own whether to allow lord Luo into their domain.”

“Thanking sect leader.” Shen Yuan smiled in relief. Binghe could be charming when he wanted to; if he made it his goal, he’d easily regain the lost goodwill. “Did you hear it, Binghe? Just apologise, and everything will be fine.”

“Not exactly.” Yue Qingyuan’s smile turned a bit cooler. “First of all, Huanhua palace shall also officially apologise to Cangqiong sect for all the injustice they’ve caused us. I’m going to meet lord Luo again to review some old agreements and contracts… to repair the broken bond. Second of all, lord Luo shall bring generous gifts to every peak.”

“Of course.” Shen Yuan eagerly nodded a few times. Luo Binghe shrugged.

“It’s not hard for me to do.”

“Behave,” Shen Yuan scolded him softly. Luo Binghe immediately bowed.

“This disciple is begging to forgive him for his insolence.”

“I’ll conduct a peak lord meeting shortly,” Yue Qingyuan promised, “where we will discuss lord Luo’s words again. Perhaps shidi and shimei will have something to add. After the meeting, if everyone agrees, we may get to the official part.”

“Thanking sect leader.”

Shen Yuan bowed deeply. Yue Qingyuan immediately caught him by his elbows.

“No need, shidi. You’re tired… I won’t keep you.”

Shen Yuan saw Yue Qingyuan off and returned to the room. Binghe was already taking the dishes off the table.

“Shizun, shall I make you some tea?”

“Sure,” Shen Yuan saw no reason to refuse. Yue Qingyuan apparently hadn’t touched the food… had he suspected something amiss? Or had he been afraid of poison? No matter: in time those baseless suspicions would be forgotten.

“Sect leader Yue asked for a lot,” Binghe mentioned in passing. Shen Yuan snorted into his cup.

“What did you expect? After your attack on the sect?”

“I didn’t even harm anyone back then,” Binghe said stubbornly. “And I was under the sword’s influence. Why should I be punished?”

Shen Yuan coldly stared into Luo Binghe’s eyes. Luo Binghe was the first to lower his gaze.

“Shizun…”

“Just this morning you apologised to Mu-shidi for kidnapping him, attacking the sect and whatever else. Have you forgotten your guilt so easily? Or were you lying from the start?”

“I just…”

“You’ve caused pain to a lot of people, Binghe. Whether you wanted to or not, the harm is already done. Now you need to fix it.”

“Fix what, shizun? I merely wanted to be with you. I never harmed you…”

“Is that what you call it?!”

Shen Yuan himself hadn’t expected such an outburst. He jumped to his feet, almost sending the cup to fly with an awkward wave of his sleeve. Luo Binghe immediately tried to cage him into his arms.

“Shizun, don’t be mad…”

“Let go!”

After breaking out Shen Yuan took a few steps away and leaned on the wall.

“Luo Binghe, have you already forgotten how you wanted to force me? Did that mean nothing to you? Is that why you overstep all the time?!”

“I didn’t want to! I wouldn’t have!.. I just… just…”

“You didn’t want to, just like you didn’t want to on the Maigu Ridge?”

Luo Binghe went silent. Shen Yuan all but forced himself to take a few deep breaths and count to ten to calm down.

They’d never discussed the Maigu Ridge and the events that had taken place there: both of them had wordlessly decided not to blame anyone. Luo Binghe had been unwell, Shen Yuan had known what he’d been doing. And yet… now Shen Yuan believed they should’ve had this conversation a long time ago. He hadn’t even realised the past was still hurting him, like a poisoned splinter under his skin: invisible from the outside, but rotting on the inside. At this rate he might acquire a heart demon…

It must have been caused by the damn “soulmate” connection, curse Airplane: Shen Yuan preferred not to think of bad things, to shove them in the deepest corner of his mind and hope that in time the memories would disappear on their own. Of course, Liu Qingge did nothing of the sort, and his willingness to face the issues was transmitted to Shen Yuan for a moment.

He wondered if it would be like that forever from now on. Or would Shen Yuan learn to distinguish between his impulses and Liu Qingge’s in time? And Liu Qingge – was he also seeing the world through Shen Yuan’s eyes now?

Shen Yuan shook his head. It was a bad time to be thinking of Liu Qingge.

“Binghe. You might’ve thought you wouldn’t hurt me and would stop in time. But we both know you weren’t controlling yourself and were perfectly capable of going further… much further.”

“I… I just wanted attention,” Binghe mumbled, barely audibly. “Shizun refused to so much as look at me…”

A lie .

“It doesn’t matter.” Shen Yuan didn’t let Binghe throw him off track. “Whether you wanted to or not, you caused me pain.”

“I…”

“Silence. Yes, there were no serious consequences. I’m alive, not crippled, unharmed. But that doesn’t mean your actions may be simply forgotten and you don’t have to take responsibility.”

“What does shizun want me to do?” Binghe asked dully. “This disciple will accept the punishment.”

“It’s my fault.”

Binghe raised his head in disbelief. Shen Yuan clutched his fan in his hand: he couldn’t hide now.

“I’ve caused you pain many times, but I’ve never even thought of apologising. And you merely follow my example. So… Binghe, I’m sorry.”

“For what, shizun?” Binghe looked… lost. Like his mask of an adult was cracking, letting Shen Yuan see the lost child underneath.

“For the way I treated you when you’ve just appeared on the peak. I have no excuse. You did nothing to deserve it… and believe me, I am sorry. If I could live that life anew, fix everything, I would have done so.”

“Shizun was testing me…”

“Binghe,” Shen Yuan sighed, “you didn’t deserve such treatment. No one deserves such treatment. I can only…”

Shen Yuan tried to kneel, but Binghe caught him by the elbows.

“Shizun, don’t!.. This disciple… hasn’t been angry for a long time.”

Not “has never been angry at you”, Shen Yuan noticed tiredly. Well, fair.

“There is something else.”

“Shizun, you don’t have to…”

“The Endless Abyss.”

Binghe froze. Shen Yuan lowered his head, hiding his face behind his hair. Well… he’d owed his husband the explanation for a while.

“I…” Binghe began carefully, but Shen Yuan didn’t let him finish.

“I knew you’d survive. Don’t ask me how, I can’t explain everything… but I’m begging you to trust my word. I knew you’d survive and come back stronger than you’d been. I knew you’d hate me and want revenge, because I deserved your hatred and revenge. And I also knew that if I hadn’t sent you to the Abyss, I’d have died. I bought my life with three years of your suffering. And even if the pain is gone now, even if there aren’t many traces left… Binghe, please, believe me, I’m very sorry. If I could… I should’ve died, but not…”

“No!” Binghe squeezed him so tightly like he wanted to break a few ribs. “Don’t! This disciple would gladly go through worse to protect shizun! Shizun, if only you’d said…”

“I know, Binghe. I…”

“No, don’t apologise.” Binghe sobbed. “Shizun has long atoned… and I wasn’t angry to begin with.”

Shen Yuan raised his head to look at his husband’s face. Binghe was openly crying, and Shen Yuan was certain this time the tears weren’t fake.

“Don’t cry,” Shen Yuan whispered, feeling like a complete and utter scum. Binghe shook his head.

“And then, in Jinlan… were you avoiding me because you were afraid of my revenge?”

“Correct. I thought you’d kill me the moment you managed to get to me.”

“I just wanted to talk!..”

“You beat me.”

Binghe froze. Shen Yuan winced and squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingers.

“I’ve long stopped being angry. Let’s leave the past in the past. But don’t act like I didn’t have any reason to be afraid.”

“I… this disciple…”

“We both hurt each other. Yes, there are no traces left, but the past won’t disappear from our memories. Don’t pretend that the bad moments never happened.”

“Shizun faked his death.” Binghe bit his lip. Shen Yuan shook his head.

“I wasn’t sure I’d survive. The plant body wasn’t ready, I spent five years underground, unconscious.”

“Shizun… actually risked his life to save this disciple?” Binghe looked at him with tentative hope. “Shizun wasn’t trying to deceive me?”

Shen Yuan didn’t want to destroy that hope, but he had no choice.

“You and all the others. If you completely lost control over the sword, you could’ve destroyed the whole city.”

Binghe huffed and finally released Shen Yuan from his too forceful embrace.

“Of course shizun cared about “others” more…”

“Binghe.”

Something in Shen Yuan’s voice must have made Binghe go quiet instead of starting a new fight. Shen Yuan had more things to say, but now that they’d just opened the painful sore, he didn’t wish to argue.

“Yes, shizun?”

“You will admit your guilt in front of the sect leader and the others. You will bring all gifts you’re requested to bring, you will sign all agreements without bartering. And from this moment on you will behave towards others as befit an obedient Qingjing peak disciple. With everyone. Is that clear?”

“And what if Liu Qingge starts another fight he can’t win?” Something evil glimmed in Binghe’s eyes. “Isn’t that why shizun started all this? Shizun worries…”

“I worry for you!..”

Binghe went quiet again, surprised by Shen Yuan’s outburst.

“Binghe, don’t you understand? You can’t just ignore the whole world! You say I’m enough for you, but that’s not true! You also need friends and loved ones, you need people you can talk to at times of need, you need a place you can call home. How are you going to live at Qingjing peak if you’re barely tolerated? If you’re constantly picking up fights? Binghe, I worry for you… You think you’re stronger, so you can ignore other people’s accusations. But that’s a dead end. I chose you because I saw you were nothing alike that other one… but if you keep going like this, I can’t be sure of anything.”

“Shizun… for me?”

Shen Yuan sighed exhaustedly. He had no energy to keep arguing.

“That’s right. So please, do everything properly. At least for the sake of my own peace of mind.”

“All right, shizun.”

“I’m tired. Let’s go to sleep… in the morning I’ll help you draw a list of gifts.”

Shen Yuan indignantly stopped the attempts to turn ordinary sleeping in the same bed into something more: he still hadn’t recovered after the last time. Binghe sulked, tried to whine, but stopped almost immediately: he must have realised Shen Yuan was close to kicking him out of the marital bed into the shed.

Shen Yuan spent almost the whole next day drawing a list of rare and useful artifacts, describing where to find them and what dangers to expect on the way. Binghe was hovering next to him, whining, trying to distract Shen Yuan with fresh food and puppy eyes, but Shen Yuan remained unwavering: they couldn’t delay the apologies any longer. Actually, they should’ve started earlier, right after Zhaohua temple, but Shen Yuan had been terribly busy, then he and Binghe had forgotten everything, absorbed by the beginning of their relationship. Now the “honeymoon” had ended, and their ordinary life, with all of its unpleasant duties, had begun.

After receiving a full list Binghe started whining again.

“Shizun, must I gather all of this? Can’t I make do with something easier?”

“Is that how you show remorse?” Shen Yuan retorted. “Are you too lazy to so much as gather apology gifts?”

“I’m not lazy… I just don’t want to leave shizun for long. Besides, what if Yue… shibo changes his mind? What if he never forgives?”

“What does it have to do with the sect leader? Binghe, don’t you understand what we’re doing and why? You need to show that you’ve changed for the better, that you won’t hurt anyone again, that you regret what you’ve done. The sect leader may not forgive you, but he’s not the only person you’ve hurt.”

“But shizun…”

Another exhausting fight lasted deep into the night. Shen Yuan got so tired in the end he simply ordered Binghe to depart tomorrow morning and not to drive him mad with excuses. Binghe started whining again, then tried to wheedle Shen Yuan for a “night of love before the separation”, and were it not for the composure and immunity to fake tears that Shen Yuan borrowed from Liu Qingge, Shen Yuan wouldn’t be able to withstand it.

In the morning Binghe departed – not immediately, first he’d brought Shen Yuan breakfast in bed in an attempt to placate him, started another long conversation “may I not do all of this, shizun, it’s hard”, put on his mask of an unjustly insulted white lotus… Eventually Shen Yuan ran out of patience and all but kicked his husband out. Binghe looked at him with teary eyes for the last time, made sure Shen Yuan was unwavering, and finally left.

Chapter Text

After seeing his husband off and returning to his room, Shen Yuan lay down to rest for a bit and unexpectedly slept until the next morning. Ming Fan, worried about his shizun’s health, even flew to Qiancao, but the senior disciple Mu Qingfang sent in his stead said it was an ordinary exertion: Shen Yuan’s body and mind needed rest, and the organism claimed that rest without asking for permission.

Shen Yuan felt sorry about the lost day, but he couldn’t deny he felt better now. The energy wasted on long arguments and heartfelt conversations was slowly restored. Shen Yuan meditated a bit next to a quiet pond, entertained the idea to ask Yue Qingyuan for a permission to seclude himself in the Lingxi Caves, then reluctantly gave up on it: now that Shen Yuan’s mind wasn’t stable, going to the caves was simply dangerous. And calling someone to accompany him as a caretaker… who’d agree?

Yue Qingyuan would, but Shen Yuan felt too ashamed to distract the sect leader over something minor. Shang Qinghua could be intimidated into helping, but he was useless. Liu Qingge… yes, Shen Yuan could ask Liu Qingge.

Oh, who was he trying to deceive?! Shen Yuan just missed him. Amazing how they’d seen each other merely a few days ago, but Shen Yuan felt like he’d lost a part of his soul. Like a teenager fallen in love for the first time!..

This wasn’t even love. Just a hook-up. A tryst. Right, Shen Yuan had decided to leave his husband for Liu Qingge, but that was just a whim…

Shen Yuan definitely wasn’t in love.

At all.

Certainly not.

Maybe a little bit.

While Shen Yuan was convincing himself it was too early to panic, his feet brought him to Baizhan. Liu Qingge met him halfway to the peak summit – as if he felt… oh right, he could actually feel Shen Yuan now.

Being a responsible adult, Shen Yuan obviously understood he was doing something immoral and improper. He was cheating on his husband – the husband who could kill them both and burn all twelve peaks to the ground in a fit of jealousy and anger. Shen Yuan had gotten his shidi involved in a terribly risky and dangerous relationship, and Shen Yuan had to take care of Liu Qingge, to hide their connection from the world. Not just for Binghe’s sake, but for Liu Qingge as well – what would it be like for him to be known as a homewrecker? Shen Yuan was a modern person, he’d seen what enraged RPS fangirls were capable of, and “bingqiu” had hordes of those fangirls. Being a target of a smear campaign was the least that would happen to Liu Qingge in case of a failure.

Shen Yuan realised all of this.

But his attraction overpowered his caution.

They reached Liu Qingge’s house hiding in dark corners, kissing constantly, grabbing and groping each other, unable to stop. If Shen Yuan was still capable of thinking, he’d mentally apologise to all the cringeworthy romcoms he’d once downvoted because of the main couple’s completely unbelievable stupidity. But pressing Liu Qingge to a wall was much more interesting than remembering stupid movies from Shen Yuan’s past life.

Thankfully, Liu Qingge still had the awareness – or the reflex – to watch their surroundings. No one noticed them, no one even suspected Shen Yuan was now in the chambers of the Baizhan peak lord, not on Qingjing. Binghe was supposed to spend at least a week wandering. Shen Yuan had the time to implement all his fantasies, try out something he hadn’t been brave enough to try before.

“Bed?” Liu Qingge asked breathlessly between the kisses. “Or the pelts?”

“Pelts.”

Shen Yuan impatiently pawed at Liu Qingge’s belt, trying to untie it. The belt gave way, and Liu Qingge threw his heavy cloak right on the floor. The movement looked simple, natural, yet insanely hot. Even if Shen Yuan were a total impotent, he’d get hard from the sight alone.

Turned out, the pelts were already on the floor – either Liu Qingge had prepared, or he hadn’t removed them since the last time. Shen Yuan hastily took off his clothes, lightly pushed at Liu Qingge’s chest, made him lie down on the soft fur and hovered above, licking his neck. Liu Qingge inclined his head to the side to give Shen Yuan more access.

“I haven’t changed my mind since the last time. Bite me if you want.”

“You offered,” Shen Yuan whispered into his ear. Liu Qingge nodded, and Shen Yuan finally sank his fangs into the pale skin.

The feeling rushing through his body was as intense as an orgasm. It took Shen Yuan a lot of effort to hold back and not to tear Liu Qingge’s neck to pieces in order to get more blood faster. Instead Shen Yuan forced himself to pull away and was licking the red rivulets running down the slope of Liu Qingge’s neck. Shen Yuan made sure not to touch the little puncture wounds with his tongue – he remembered about the properties of his saliva. Liu Qingge didn’t seem hindered by the pain – his arousal didn’t wilt, even hardened a bit.

Trust Shen Yuan’s luck that both of his partners would turn out to be masochistic…

Finally Shen Yuan forced himself away from Liu Qingge’s neck.

“I think that’s enough. Will you be able to heal the wound, shidi?”

“I… right, yes,” Liu Qingge mumbled hoarsely. Shen Yuan even got a little worried – had he taken too much? Liu Qingge wouldn’t faint from the blood loss, would he? But the wounds on Liu Qingge’s neck closed almost immediately, which meant he had enough control to send qi to the injured spot.

Shen Yuan licked Liu Qingge’s neck for the last time to gather the drops he’d missed, then went lower. Liu Qingge barely reacted when Shen Yuan’s tongue touched his chest, which made Shen Yuan feel relieved: he didn’t like nipple play. But he had a great time licking the muscular abdomen, even moaning in pleasure. Only the idea of a blowjob made him go lower.

“I want to give you a massage,” Shen Yuan whispered, his nose pressed to Liu Qingge’s thigh. “To light a brazier, warm the room, take some oil…”

“I wasn’t aware you know how to,” Liu Qingge replied a bit tensely. Shen Yuan shrugged.

“What is there to know? I’m not talking about a medical procedure. Just a caress.”

“Then we could. Right now?” Liu Qingge rose on his elbow, and Shen Yuan laughed, shoving at his chest.

“Lie down. Next time… I’d stay for the night, if shidi is amenable.”

“I won’t chase you away,” Liu Qingge promised, lying back down. Shen Yuan smiled: it was obvious Liu Qingge wasn’t talking just about this one time.

Shen Yuan happily licked Liu Qingge’s cock, trying to go as deep down as he could – and since Airplane had apparently never given vampires a gag reflex, Shen Yuan was doing surprisingly well. Liu Qingge kept moaning, gasping, even uttered an aborted scream once, and Shen Yuan got a bit proud of his job – up until the moment Liu Qingge pulled him by the shoulder, urging him to stop.

“Shidi, what?..”

“The oil is over there.” Liu Qingge waved his hand in the direction of a cabinet. “If you want.”

If?.. Shen Yuan was dying to try it. Yet he wasn’t ready to cause his lover pain.

“Where’s your ointment?”

“Let’s try without it first,” Liu Qingge said stubbornly. Shen Yuan frowned, and Liu Qingge hastily explained. “If it hurts, I’ll tell you, and we’ll get the ointment.”

Well… Shen Yuan was ready for experiments. Lately he’d had the chance to realise sex didn’t always cause pain and discomfort that just had to be tolerated. A lot depended on the partner – and the attention to the partner.

Shen Yuan tried to repeat what Liu Qingge had done to him last time, what Shen Yuan had enjoyed the most: taking things slow, massaging the entrance, giving Liu Qingge time to get used to it. Shen Yuan’s nervousness was slowly giving way to anticipation, arousal and pleasure. Shen Yuan liked Liu Qingge being relaxed, moving towards Shen Yuan’s hand, letting Shen Yuan do as he pleased, sweetly moaning and sighing. He liked licking drops of sweat off Liu Qingge’s body, liked inhaling the smell of burning wood and arousal. Shen Yuan suddenly remembered reading about body shots – back then he’d shuddered in disgust, but now he merely put off the idea for later. They had to try it – some other time.

A sharp sense of discomfort suddenly joined the arousal. Shen Yuan hastily removed the third finger before realising what was going on.

“Add some more oil,” Liu Qingge advised with a wince. Shen Yuan automatically nodded and followed the instruction, while trying to absorb the new information. So what, Shen Yuan had just sensed Liu Qingge’s pain? Or not pain, rather strong discomfort – but still not his own. Perhaps the bright pleasure had also been Liu Qingge’s, transmitted to Shen Yuan through their connection?

The theory was worthy of being tested. Shen Yuan bowed over Liu Qingge’s cock and took it into his mouth; a hot wave rolled over his body. The sensation was funny – more akin to a sense of satisfaction than physical pleasure, as if Shen Yuan was imagining the feeling. Like reading a well-written book – sort of falling into the atmosphere, yet remembering that it was all unreal, happening to the characters, and not to you.

Having realised he wasn’t hurting his lover, Shen Yuan relaxed and grew bold. Soon he tried adding the third finger again – this time more successfully. Liu Qingge rose on his elbows and was looking at Shen Yuan with a mixture of fire, impatience and slight agitation.

“Come on, stop dawdling.”

“Are you sure? We don’t have to go all the way now. We have time.”

Of course, Shen Yuan was eager to try out his fantasies, but he wasn’t selfish.

“I’m sure. Really.”

Liu Qingge didn’t seem to be lying. Shen Yuan nodded, added a bit more oil just in case, and Liu Qingge grabbed the jar out of his hand, slid his slick palm down Shen Yuan’s cock, generously covering it with oil from the base to the tip. Shen Yuan ground his teeth: his worry made him forget his own arousal, but now his senses turned sharp once more.

Clenching his teeth and gathering all his self-restraint, Shen Yuan slowly entered the slick pliant body. Liu Qingge didn’t seem to be hurting, but he clearly needed time to adjust, so Shen Yuan leaned on his elbows and froze, letting himself enjoy the moment.

Liu Qingge looked like a young god under him – gorgeous, slightly tense and confident even now. The light of the fire was dancing on his naked body, accentuating every dip, every contoured muscle, reflecting off the black hair, which contrasted against the white pelt. Shen Yuan licked his lips, blushed hotly and for some reason got embarrassed, raised his eyes – but there was neither shame nor judgement in Liu Qingge’s gaze. Shen Yuan rarely had the pleasure of such absolute, unconditional acceptance – especially since now both of them knew each other’s minds, and Shen Yuan was sure there could be no misunderstandings.

He moved, listening to his sensations, changing the angle and the speed on the fly until he found the right ones – Liu Qingge relaxed, the slight feeling of anxiety at the edge of Shen Yuan’s consciousness disappeared without a trace, and Shen Yuan felt Liu Qingge’s pleasure rising like a tide. Shen Yuan had never topped before and he’d had no idea how intense the experience would be. All his thoughts of past and future left his head, Shen Yuan lived in the present, letting his instincts take the reins. Him and Liu Qingge were moving towards each other in the most ancient dance, trying to get as close as possible – Shen Yuan groped for Liu Qingge’s hand and intertwined their fingers, Liu Qingge wrapped his legs around Shen Yuan’s waist, squeezing Shen Yuan’s ribs with his knees.

The peak found both of them simultaneously, doubling the pleasure. Shen Yuan tucked his face into Liu Qingge’s neck, feeling uncomfortably exposed – like a taut string ready to break, like a high-voltage wire letting a current pass through it. He couldn’t hide behind his fan, nor behind the mask of an aloof cultivator, and that made him feel strangely vulnerable – but at the same time he knew, he felt in his very being that Liu Qingge loved him and accepted him as he was, with all his weak sides, hesitations, fear and doubts, all the inexperience and all the lies. He accepted Shen Yuan, not Shen Qingqiu.

One day they’d talk about it. Previously Shen Yuan hadn’t let himself so much as think about such openness, knowing Shen Qingqiu’s body was his only shield and his only chance of salvation – but now… of all the inhabitants of this world Liu Qingge understood Shen Yuan better than anyone. If Shen Yuan could trust someone with his secret, it could be no one but Liu Qingge.

“I can hear you think.” Liu Qingge moved, lightly pulled at Shen Yuan’s hair, pressed at the back of Shen Yuan’s head, pulling him into an embrace. “Is something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Don’t judge me, shidi, it’s my first time,” Shen Yuan joked awkwardly. “Give me a chance to recover.”

Liu Qingge hummed something ambiguous. Shen Yuan tried to pull out, knowing from experience it’d hurt otherwise, but Liu Qingge lightly kicked him on the buttock.

“Stop moving. Lie down.”

Shen Yuan obediently went limp. After all, if Liu Qingge felt unwell, Shen Yuan would feel it too.

Soon he grew tired of lying down. His drowsiness disappeared, his body, still heated from the sex, was slowly going back to normal, he felt thirsty. Shen Yuan moved away, pulled out, trying not to cause Liu Qingge any discomfort, then threw on a robe and went to look for water.

He found it in the room nearby. Shen Yuan grabbed a jug and one cup, hesitated, but didn’t bother looking for a second one – Liu Qingge would hardly act squeamish now, after everything that they’ve already done. There were also a ripe apple and a small knife on the table. Having found what he’d been looking for, Shen Yuan hastily returned – there was a feeling of some… discomfort? displeasure? – from Liu Qingge, coming through their connection. Whatever it was, Shen Yuan needed to hurry.

Liu Qingge was still lying on the floor, clenching his legs shut; he seemed tense. Seeing Shen Yuan, Liu Qingge exhaled sharply, rose on his elbow, but immediately fell back, blushing to the tips of his ears.

“You… give me something to clean myself with. I don’t want to ruin the pelts.”

Having found the cause of Liu Qingge’s embarrassment, Shen Yuan gulped. A wave of arousal rolled over his body; Shen Yuan put the water and everything else down on the floor with shaking hands, then crawled to Liu Qingge.

“If shidi allows…”

Shen Yuan was ready to beg, forgetting his usual propriety, but it didn’t come to that: Liu Qingge blushed even harder, then nodded. Shen Yuan helped him turn over to his stomach, get on all fours, uttered a broken sigh, then licked a wide stripe over Liu Qingge’s thigh and open passage, collecting the seed with his lips.

Liu Qingge froze warily; Shen Yuan felt he wasn’t in pain, but asked once more just in case.

“Shidi doesn’t mind?”

“You… do you really enjoy it?” Liu Qingge lowered his head, as if trying to hide behind his hair. “Are you sure you want to?..”

“I want it a lot.” The confession was too sincere. Shen Yuan blushed, but continued stubbornly. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”

Liu Qingge jerked awkwardly and lowered his body, leaning on his forearms.

“Then go on… it’s unpleasant.”

Shen Yuan understood without further explanations: he also didn’t like the feeling of seed pouring out of the open body after sex. Well, one could say it was his duty as a lover to help Liu Qingge with the issue…

Especially since Shen Yuan was eager to provide the “help” in question.

Just a month ago Shen Yuan would have been unable to imagine either giving or receiving this sort of a caress, but now his squeamishness disappeared, giving way to arousal. Shen Yuan was licking Liu Qingge clean, shoving his tongue inside, using his fingers, trying to find a balance between his enthusiasm and Liu Qingge’s increased sensitivity. However, Liu Qingge was quickly recovering: soon he started moving towards Shen Yuan, shuddering from movements that felt particularly nice. Shen Yuan saw and felt Liu Qingge’s cock harden, his smell turn more potent. A bit more, and both of them would be ready for a second round.

If Liu Qingge was amenable, of course. Shen Yuan was willing to go as long as he could – to take Liu Qingge again and again, to fill him with seed, then to lick him clean like a rare delicacy. Especially since in Airplane’s porn-laden world several times in a row weren’t out of the ordinary. Shen Yuan had never managed such feats before, but it had been hard to show enthusiasm when feeling like his insides had been massaged with a jackhammer. An absence of pain apparently could perform miracles for the libido.

Liu Qingge allowed to take him once again, then to thoroughly lick his tender insides and apply the ointment. Shen Yuan used his mouth to drive Liu Qingge to the peak and finally let him rest. They spent some time cuddling, drinking water and trying to feed each other with apple slices. Shen Yuan wanted to kiss, but now that his arousal had subsided, he’d rather rinse his mouth first.

They went to the bathhouse together; thankfully, Liu Qingge could walk unaided, Shen Yuan hadn’t really hurt him. The wet heat of the bath almost drove Shen Yuan to sleep; good thing Liu Qingge still had enough self-restraint to wake him up and all but drag him back to the bedroom.

They slept on the pelts: the bed was too narrow for two adult men. After waking up alone, Shen Yuan allowed himself to wallow for a while: he felt Liu Qingge somewhere nearby and didn’t sense any pain, which meant there was nothing to worry about. At least for now Shen Yaun could forget about the outside world and go with the flow, letting his feelings run amok.

Liu Qingge returned in an hour, after Shen Yuan had washed his face, ate what he’d found in the kitchen, unceremoniously stolen an undershirt, pants and a deep-blue robe from the wardrobe, gotten dressed and started to feel bored. However, his boredom evaporated the moment Liu Qingge stepped over the threshold. Shen Yuan eagerly inhaled the smell of body, still hot after all the exercise, and took in the details: a strand of hair falling out of the ponytail, a patch of grazed skin on Liu Qingge’s wrist, a trace of a lovebite on Liu Qingge’s neck under his crooked collar.

“Did shidi have a fight?”

“A simple sparring,” Liu Qingge replied after a small pause. Shen Yuan was ready to bet that such a “simple sparring” would leave him unable to move for three days, but Liu Qingge was considered the sect’s best swordfighter for a reason: he had no shortage of stamina.

“Shidi must be tired.” Shoving his feeling of embarrassment deep down, Shen Yuan tried to say it languidly and seductively, all but purr. “If shidi is amenable, I could help him… relax.”

“Haven’t you helped enough yesterday?” Liu Qingge snorted. “I can’t say I mind, but…”

“We’ll do something different,” Shen Yuan agreed easily. “Not the same thing as yesterday. I’ll think of something. Or does shidi have any suggestions?”

Liu Qingge blushed and shook his head. Shen Yuan suspected that Liu Qingge did have suggestions, but wasn’t bold enough to say it out loud. No matter, they had time.

For now Shen Yuan opted to start with the massage he’d promised yesterday. Liu Qingge got undressed without arguments, lay down on the bed, put his head on his crossed forearms, and Shen Yuan heated the oil in his palms, tenderly rubbed it over Liu Qingge’s shoulders, went lower, to his biceps and wrists, trying not to touch the patch of grazed skin, kissed every finger, then moved to the shoulder blades and the small of Liu Qingge’s back. Liu Qingge wasn’t completely hard yet, but he was clearly enjoying himself.

Shen Yuan didn’t rush his lover. Instead he asked Liu Qingge to sit up, knelt on the floor and took Liu Qingge’s left foot in his palms, slowly rubbing the ankle.

“Are you ticklish, shidi?”

Liu Qingge averted his gaze.

“Don’t worry, I won’t kick you.”

Well, Shen Yuan took it into account and didn’t touch the sole, instead going up to the calf, then to the knee, then to the hip. By the time Shen Yuan finished massaging one leg and started working on the other, Liu Qingge was almost fully ready for battle, so Shen Yuan didn’t stall, pressed at Liu Qingge’s knees, urging him to spread his legs, slid between them and covered Liu Qingge’s cock with his mouth.

Liu Qingge suddenly put his palm on Shen Yuan’s shoulder.

“Wait. I have an idea… if you don’t mind.”

Shen Yuan nodded with a smile. Liu Qingge would hardly ask for something strange or unpleasant, and besides, Shen Yuan could always refuse without fear of tears or accusations.

Turned out, Liu Qingge’s “idea” was the 69 position. Shen Yuan deeply regretted his inability to explain the reference: Airplane’s world didn’t have Arabic numerals. Well, the position probably had some complicated poetic name: two koi fish in a pond or something like that, whatever. Shen Yuan felt happy Liu Qingge couldn’t see his crimson cheeks and ears, then remembered Liu Qingge could feel his embarrassment and blushed even harder.

“If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

Liu Qingge’s voice pulled Shen Yuan out of his musings. Shen Yuan bit his lip. On the one hand, the position was terribly embarrassing, on the other hand, it wasn’t like he didn’t want it…

“Let’s try. If I understand I don’t like it at all…”

“We’ll stop the moment you say we stop,” Liu Qingge promised. Shen Yuan hummed in agreement and bowed over Liu Qingge’s cock again, mouth wide open. However, soon he got distracted from his pleasant activity: a slick finger pressed to his entrance – just massaging for now and not trying to go in.

“Do you mind?” Liu Qingge asked, freeing his mouth for a moment. Shen Yuan hummed something approving, and Liu Qingge understood: the next moment the finger slid in.

It felt nice. Not like yesterday, not quite as intense, but the pleasure still spread over his body like warm honey. Shen Yuan tried not to jerk his hips, lest he accidentally deprived Liu Qingge of air, and not to squeeze shut. It helped that there was no pain, only pleasant sensations – both from Shen Yuan’s own body and from Liu Qingge.

They didn’t manage to come at the same time: Shen Yuan fell down first, moving towards Liu Qingge’s fingers and pushing inside the pliant mouth. After getting back to his senses, Shen Yuan hurried to help Liu Qingge reach the peak, sucked out his seed and slid off the bed to the floor in relief. Liu Qingge soon joined him.

“I’ll bring some water and something to clean up with.”

They ate lunch together as well: turned out, Liu Qingge could cook, and he told Shen Yuan to cut the vegetables. Standing in the kitchen, exchanging jokes and bumping elbows was strange but interesting: in his past life Shen Yuan had ordered delivery, in this life he shamelessly exploited his disciples. Liu Qingge was patiently showing him how to wash the rice, peel the ginger and measure the spice. The result of their combined efforts couldn’t reach Binghe’s culinary masterpieces, but it was perfectly edible nonetheless. Shen Yuan jokingly used his chopsticks to give Liu Qingge a piece of chicken and blushed when Liu Qingge deftly caught the meat with his lips while keeping the straightest face possible.

Shen Yuan stayed for four more days. Contrary to his expectations and vague hopes, him and Liu Qingge didn’t spend all their time in the bedroom, instead doing mundane activities: a few sparrings, sorting out letters, choosing an interesting case to investigate, reading a cultivation manual Shen Yuan had never seen before and learning a technique from there. Shen Yuan spent the evening teasing Liu Qingge with questions, trying to find out where Liu Qingge had gotten the manual from; eventually Liu Qingge gave up and admitted he’d once saved a book merchant from a giant scaly scorpion.

Finally Shen Yuan reluctantly went back to Qingjing: he suspected Binghe wouldn’t be able to withstand a long separation and would soon appear at the doorstep of the bamboo house, or even try to cry and beg Shen Yuan for a permission not to gather any more artifacts.

As it soon turned out, Shen Yuan’s suspicions had been completely baseless: Binghe didn’t appear that day, nor the next one. Shen Yuan tried to visit Baizhan again, but Liu Qingge had already left for a new hunt. All that remained for Shen Yuan was to hold lessons, draw, read a new weiqi manual and bother Airplane with demands to provide Liu Qingge with a new bed, wide and comfortable. After all, even if Shang Qinghua tattled to Binghe, what of it? Shen Yuan had already decided to break up with his husband. He just wanted to prepare Binghe a bit, so that he didn’t have to go through the breakup alone and was able to get some help.

An invitation to a peak lord meeting caught Shen Yuan by surprise: he’d expected Yue Qingyuan to stall, to wait for Binghe’s return and only then raise the issue for consideration. Perhaps something important had happened while Shen Yuan had been with his lover? No, that didn’t make any sense: in that case Liu Qingge wouldn’t have left the sect.

Shen Yuan opted to come to the meeting a bit earlier than necessary: what if Yue Qingyuan wanted to discuss something? Especially if it was about Binghe. But Shen Yuan knew from experience that if he came with too much time to spare, Yue Qingyuan would drop everything and serve tea to his guest, and Shen Yuan would loathe to inconvenience the sect leader. To idle some time away, Shen Yuan was walking the roads of Qiongding peak picturesque gardens, enjoying the view: normally this was the place where high-ranking visitors were invited to impress them.

Shen Yuan’s heart suddenly started beating faster: Liu Qingge was nearby. Shen Yuan raised his head, trying to see Chengluan’s silver glimmer in the sky, and felt his lips stretch into a stupidly happy smile. He hadn’t expected Liu Qingge to be back so early. He hadn’t hoped for them to see each other so soon.

Liu Qingge must have felt Shen Yuan too, because he soon descended, jumped off the sword. Shen Yuan frowned, seeing dried blood on Liu Qingge’s sleeve.

“Are you injured?”

“Not mine.”

Liu Qingge didn’t continue, but Shen Yuan had already realised he’d said something stupid: if that were Liu Qingge’s blood, the smell would’ve reached Shen Yuan’s nostrils a long time ago. Having recovered his cool, Shen Yuan took Liu Qingge by the elbow and pulled him into a less crowded part of the garden, far away from gazes: to walk a bit, to steal a few minutes alone.

“How was your hunt?”

“Boring. I left the game at Qingjing.”

Liu Qingge must have gone to Shen Yuan first, then deigned to visit his own peak, where he’d learnt of the meeting. Shen Yuan tried to suppress a happy smile; judging by Liu Qingge’s expression, he failed miserably.

“How are you?”

“Peaceful and quiet.”

“So the mongrel isn’t bothering you?”

Shen Yuan sighed. He needed to stop Liu Qingge from hurling insults Binghe’s way whenever he could… but that could wait.

“He’s not back yet.”

“Was he away?”

Shen Yuan had no time to answer: there were sounds of voices coming from the main alley. Liu Qingge silently stepped into a secluded corner and pulled Shen Yuan alongside him. They spent a minute pressing to each other, waiting to be left alone. Then Shen Yuan sighed in relief, leaned on Liu Qingge’s shoulder and finally realised they didn’t have to hide. They weren’t doing anything shameful, just talking.

“Shidi didn’t want us to be seen?” Shen Yuan whispered in Liu Qingge’s ear, pressing as close as he could. Liu Qingge blushed.

“I… I…”

Shen Yuan’s attempts to suppress a smile ended in resounding failure. Liu Qingge clearly hadn’t had time to think before he opted to hide from other people, and was now blushing in embarrassment, glaring at Shen Yuan helplessly. Shen Yuan patted his shoulder.

“Well, shidi?”

Liu Qingge huffed and averted his gaze. It looked so funny and cute that Shen Yuan couldn’t hold back from standing on his tiptoes and kissing Liu Qingge’s cheek, jaw, the corner of his lips.

“Don’t be angry with me, shidi…”

Liu Qingge suddenly pressed Shen Yuan close, answering the kiss so desperately as if they were bound to be separated any moment.

“Shidi, what?.. It’s all right, I’m here,” Shen Yuan mumbled perplexedly. Liu Qingge shook his head.

“You’re here now. We need to go to the meeting soon.”

“We’ll have time after the meeting,” Shen Yuan promised. Liu Qingge nodded and stepped away with obvious reluctance.

“You’re right. Sorry, I… I shouldn’t have…”

Shen Yuan pulled him back. Were they at Qingjing, or at least at Baizhan, Shen Yuan would take a risk and attempt to continue their sweet pastime, but Qiongding had too many eyes and ears. And although the idea of being caught red-handed made Shen Yuan pleasantly warm all over, he knew in his mind that they had to stop.

“After the meeting,” Shen Yuan repeated, releasing Liu Qingge from his embrace. Liu Qingge caught a strand of Shen Yuan’s hair and pressed a kiss to it.

“I’ll go first. Wait for a while, then try to get to the pavilion from the other direction.”

Shen Yuan awkwardly nodded. He was torn in half: the spy game was pleasantly thrilling, but the need to hide from others was depressing. Or… was it not him being depressed? Shen Yuan bit his lip. Liu Qingge didn’t say anything out loud, he never expressed that he wasn’t happy with their current situation, but Shen Yuan felt it anyway – through their connection.

He needed to deal with it sooner. To talk to Liu Qingge, to explain that Shen Yuan would dump his husband for him, they just needed to wait. And to hide their relationship – lest the new “Resentment of Chunshan” tried to describe Liu Qingge’s love life.

Shen Yuan was late to the meeting: when he entered, Mu Qingfang was quietly complaining to Qi Qingqi, and Shang Qinghua was flailing his arms with nervous laughter, ducking under the pressure of Yue Qingyuan’s cordial smile. Having noticed Shen Yuan, Shang Qinghua clung to him like to a lifeline.

“Ah, Shen-shixiong! Long time no see!”

“Shidi,” Yue Qingyuan greeted warmly. Shen Yuan proudly nodded in response, sat down at his usual place next to the sect leader and looked around. Almost everyone was present, save for those in seclusion or outside Cangqiong.

“My adept said the meeting was urgent and mandatory. What happened?” As expected, Liu Qingge moved straight down to business. Yue Qingyuan calmly nodded in response to his words.

“You might say something has happened. The thing is that the current master of Huanhua palace, well-known by most of you,” Yue Qingyuan paused to give his colleagues some time to rant, “has recently apologised to me.”

“Absurd!” Qi Qingqi huffed disdainfully. Mu Qingfang, who was sitting next to her, shook his head.

“He apologised to me too. Can’t say it was sincere, but…”

“Of course it wasn’t sincere.” Liu Qingge shook his head in contempt. “What is he trying to achieve?”

“Why jump to conclusions, shidi?” Shen Yuan shook his head with fake reproach. “Why suspect the worst?”

“Because your… mongrel has shown his true colours time and again. He doesn’t care for anyone but himself. Since no one can make him answer for his crimes, he believes he’s allowed to do anything. Do you think he can really care for someone else’s feelings?”

“He was under the influence of the demonic sword,” Shen Yuan reminded. “Now that the sword is broken and sealed…”

“The Maigu Ridge was a year ago. That’s when the sword was sealed.”

“Such swords cannot change the owner’s essence,” Wei Qingwei joined the conversation. “They merely erode someone’s sense of what’s allowed. The person stops holding back, does what he’d long wanted… but the sword doesn’t put ideas into their head, it just frees them from self-restraint. Lets them act on their worst impulses.”

“Shidi has just confirmed that without the sword Luo Binghe would never…”

“Would never attack the sect?” Liu Qingge interfered again. “Perhaps. But his way of thinking hasn’t changed.”

“That’s not true…”

“Shen Qingqiu’s opinion is clear.” Qi Qingqi waved her hand. “But everyone else should realise this is some sort of a scheme! What is the bastard trying to achieve?”

“Perhaps he just wants you to stop calling him a bastard?” Shen Yuan couldn’t hold back. “Stop reminding him of the past? Wants you to remember Luo Binghe is still a Cangqiong sect adept?”

“Does he even remember it himself?” Qi Qingqi huffed. “All those years, and he hasn’t even tried to call his Huanhua palace to order! Breaking the rules of our sect, showing no respect, not trying to fix the harm he caused…”

“He is trying now! And he’s started with an apology!”

“His apologies cannot be believed,” Liu Qingge said coldly. Shen Yuan stared right into his eyes.

“There was a time when shidi would say the same about me.”

Shen Yuan didn’t think his reproach would have any effect. But Liu Qingge nodded after a pause.

“You’re right.”

Others went quiet too, either surprised, or pacified by the admission. Yue Qingyuan sighed.

“I think lord Luo needs a chance to prove his sincerity. If he fulfils all of my conditions, I’ll close my eyes and forget the past. But I won’t make you follow suit. If you think Luo Binghe’s sins are unforgivable – that’s up to you. You don’t have to let him to your peak, but please, treat him as you would any other Cangqiong adept.”

“Mu-shidi, what do you think?” Qi Qingqi waved her hand. “You’ve suffered from his actions more than most! Don’t tell me you can forget…”

“I think lord Luo promised to send gifts to Qiancao as a part of his apology.” Mu Qingfang curled his lips in a smile. “I’ve already prepared a list. Time will tell if his apology is sincere or not, but even if it isn’t, I intend to use his unexpected generosity.”

“Gifts?” Shang Qinghua perked up. “Something rare? Valuable?”

“I think Shang-shidi will have a chance to discuss it during a personal conversation with lord Luo.”

Yue Qingyuan’s smile was warm and understanding, which made Shang Qinghua yelp and try to crawl under the table.

“Personal? Does he intend to visit every peak?” Wei Qingwei asked perplexedly. Yue Qingyuan nodded.

“That’s right. According to our agreement, first lord Luo will hold a speech in front of everyone, then visit every peak lord separately.”

“Tell him to stay away from Baizhan,” Liu Qingge demanded. “I’d loathe to see his cheap acting.”

“Shidi could give him a chance,” Shen Yuan retorted. “Who knows, perhaps it’s not acting.”

“If he’s really sorry, let him prove it with actions. Until he does, I don’t wish to see him on my peak.”

Someone immediately supported Liu Qingge, but the general results were better than Shen Yuan had hoped: four peak lords, including Yue Qingyuan, were willing to trust Binghe. And that was before the official apology!

The rest of the meeting went peacefully: the grumblers had spent all their energy on the first animated discussion. Shen Yuan even suspected that might have been Yue Qingyuan’s plan. Mu Qingfang monotonously explained something about the coming cold winter and the need to buy more medicine and heaters, Shang Qinghua cheered up and dove into his papers, so Shen Yuan stopped listening to their argument: Qingjing was never mistreated during the annual budget distribution, so Shen Yuan could afford to be above such pettiness. Time was dragging, Shen Yuan got bored and was secretly admiring the blush on Liu Qingge’s cheeks: apparently Baizhan had to compensate for some thing or other. Normally Liu Qingge didn’t deny such requests, but sometimes he argued out of sheer stubborness.

Finally the boring conversation was over, and Shen Yuan stood up, looking forward to taking a roundabout way that’d lead him to Baizhan and discussing the situation with his and Liu Qingge’s private life… no, he’d first convince Liu Qingge to let him take a bite, grope him, perhaps bend him over the nearest horizontal surface, then talk.

Alas, Shen Yuan’s plans weren’t destined to come true: Luo Binghe was already waiting at the exit. Several Huanhua palace adepts holding heavy boxes were standing behind his back.

Yue Qingyuan stepped out of the pavilion doors under the open sky, the others followed, standing in a semicircle. Luo Binghe elegantly knelt.

“On behalf of myself and of Huanhua palace this disciple is here to offer an apology…”

Liu Qingge huffed, jumped on his sword and left without bothering to listen. Shen Yuan looked at his back: the relationship talk would apparently have to wait. His heart ached: Shen Yuan didn’t want to separate.

Was that how Binghe had felt at Zhaohua temple, when Shen Yuan had told him to leave? Knowing in his mind that this was the only way, yet bleeding in his heart? Shen Yuan was overwhelmed by guilt: he’d believed Binghe to be exaggerating, led by old complexes. Well, it had taken Shen Yuan falling in love to understand how he’d been mistaken.

Shen Yuan met Binghe’s eyes and softly smiled at him, nodded in encouragement. Binghe beamed and continued the speech, clearly prepared and rehearsed in advance. He was talking smoothly, without stumbling, used quotes and chengyu suitable for the occasion, his voice was going up and down… just like the Bing-ge of “Proud Immortal Demon Way” whenever he needed to achieve something. However, Shen Yuan chased away the stupid thought: Binghe was a much better person than the protagonist of the original novel. Binghe wouldn’t lie to him.

Binghe finally finished his speech and went silent. Yue Qingyuan nodded majestically.

“Follow me, lord Luo.”

“Obeying Yue-shibo!” Binghe jumped to his feet, bowed respectfully to the other peak lords, smiled at Shen Yuan and ran after Yue Qingyuan. Just like a young disciple eager for praise… Shen Yuan suppressed his usual yearning. The past wouldn’t come back, Binghe would never be that sunny boy wearing his heart on his sleeve, but he had a chance to follow the righteous path again. A chance denied to him by Airplane’s shitty writing.

The other peak lords used Yue Qingyuan’s absence to discuss something in hushed whispers: Qi Qingqi was berating Huanhua palace, Shang Qinghua was clearly dying to take a peek at the gift boxes, someone was bored, someone was moderately optimistic. Shen Yuan sighed from behind his fan: pity that Liu Qingge had already flown away. Shen Yuan couldn’t even follow: he needed to wait for Binghe, to find out how the conversation with the sect leader ended.

The conversation that was taking a while. Shen Yuan spent almost a shichen in the blazing sun; half of the peak lords had long left, citing some business, but Shen Yuan had to meet his husband. Even if he had to chase away the treacherous thoughts that he might have already flown to Baizhan and back, and he’d still have time left for a short date…

Finally Yue Qingyuan and Binghe stepped outside, and Shen Yuan perked up. Binghe looked awful: pale, with bags under his eyes, and his wrist was bandaged for some reason. Was he hurt? No, Shen Yuan didn’t smell any blood. And what could have possibly hurt a Heavenly Demon, with his regeneration?

“You may leave the gifts here,” Yue Qingyuan told the Huanhua adepts in passing. “Thank you for waiting… I don’t want to take more of your time.”

The Huanhua adepts stared at Luo Binghe with stony faces. Luo Binghe paused, but that didn’t look like a convoluted power-play – rather like Binghe still hadn’t properly recovered and was trying to understand what was requested of him.

“As Yue-shibo commands.” Binghe looked at his adepts and frowned. “What are you waiting for? You’ve heard the sect leader.”

The adepts silently bowed, left the boxes on the grass and walked away. Such a blatant disregard, but it was aimed at Binghe as well – Shen Yuan suspected something was rotten in Huanhua palace, knew Binghe wasn’t exactly popular there, but had never guessed it was to this extent.

“Thank you, Luo-shizhi.” Yue Qingyuan’s nod was cold but polite, and it made Shen Yuan beam. It was “Luo-shizhi”! Not “lord Luo”! The sect leader publicly acknowledged Luo Binghe as a Cangqiong disciple!

Binghe suddenly swayed on his feet, and Shen Yuan hastily caught him by the waist, gave him a shoulder to lean on.

“Thank you, sect leader! With your permission…”

“Yes, Luo-shizhi should lie down.” Yue Qingyuan nodded at Shen Yuan. “Come back to Qingjing. Shidi, when you have time, I’d like to discuss something… it’s not urgent.”

Shen Yuan hastily nodded, said his farewells and formed a hand-seal, summoning Xiuya from its sheath.

Binghe was barely able to stand on the sword, swaying in Shen Yuan’s firm embrace. Shen Yuan had to lead him to the bamboo hut by the hand, barely taking a glance at the haystack of fragrant herbs under the window. Right, Liu Qingge had mentioned some trophy… was it a carnivorous plant? Shen Yuan would have to deal with it later. Or order Ming Fan to deal with it.

“Shizun needn’t worry,” Binghe mumbled shakily. “It’s nothing. I’m almost fine…”

“I can see you’re not!” Shen Yuan grumbled. “Go to bed, and don’t you dare get up until you’re better! I’ll make sure of it personally!”

Binghe suddenly hugged him, tucked his face into Shen Yuan’s neck.

“Shizun… cares?”

“How could I not, you stupid child?!” Shen Yuan lightly hit him on the head with his fan. “Stop it at once, your nonsense gives me a headache. Behave.”

Binghe was getting better by the minute, but Shen Yuan still made him stay in bed until next morning, motherhenning him. His own behavior made him shiver in embarrassment, but… Binghe’s health was more important than saving face. Besides, Shen Yuan wasn’t thinking of himself as a lovey-dovey wife – no, he was tending to an injured disciple. The realisation made it easier, Shen Yuan wasn’t cringing from every minor thing or trying to paint it in a romantic light, so he could concentrate on what really mattered.

When Binghe started to get finicky, Shen Yuan sighed in relief: if his husband had enough energy to whine and try to grope Shen Yuan’s knee, the danger had passed. However, Shen Yuan still put a stop to the attempts, citing Binghe’s condition. Binghe pouted, removed his hand with an air of someone unjustly suffering, and said bitterly he wouldn’t lay a finger on Shen Yuan without his permission. Shen Yuan sighed in relief.

They slept cuddling. Binghe hugged Shen Yuan with all his limbs, pressed him close, tucking his nose into Shen Yuan’s hair; his breath was rapid and shallow. Shen Yuan didn’t let himself fall asleep, afraid that in this state Binghe might accidentally pull him into the dreamscape, as he was prone to do. They needed to talk about that, by the way: Binghe had to get a grasp on his subconsciousness. That was simply dangerous – both for Binghe and the people around him.

Another thing they needed to do before the break-up…

Shen Yuan fell asleep in the morning, when Binghe’s breath became even, and he was woken up at midday by the smell of food. Binghe was standing next to the bed with a tray full of dishes and worriedly staring at Shen Yuan’s face.

“Shizun? Is something wrong?”

Shen Yuan rubbed his forehead; his head was heavy, and Shen Yuan felt cranky. He desperately wished to crawl under the blanket and sleep until the evening, but he couldn’t afford such sloth. Not today.

“Everything’s fine, Binghe. Good morning.”

Binghe beamed and lavished Shen Yuan with attention: he brought more soft pillows, closed the shutters so that the sun didn’t blind them, tried to spoonfeed Shen Yuan, as if Shen Yuan was the one sick. After somehow deflecting, Shen Yuan poked his porridge without appetite, listened to the usual whiny “Shizun, you didn’t eat properly, you’re making me worry”, then finally crawled out of bed to clean up.

Washing his face made him feel better. Shen Yuan was looking at his robes, choosing the one to wear today, when hot arms encircled his waist.

“Shizun, I missed you…”

“Not now, Binghe,” Shen Yuan rebuked softly. “We’ve just eaten, and…”

“Did shizun not miss me?” Binghe’s voice shook. “Wasn’t shizun suffering from the separation?”

Damn it, how was Shen Yuan supposed to answer that?! “I was”? That’d be a lie. “I wasn’t”? Such a reply could easily drive Binghe to tears.

“Don’t exaggerate.” Shen Yuan finally found a proper response. “You’ve only been away for a few days.”

“Was shizun so happy with my departure that time flew in my absence? What was shizun doing while I wasn’t there?” Binghe painfully bit the lobe of Shen Yuan’s ear, and Shen Yuan tried to shove him away. In vain – Binghe merely squeezed him harder.

“Binghe, we talked about that. Sto…”

Binghe deftly forced Shen Yuan to turn around and shut him up with a kiss. Scolding-hot palms were touching his body, sliding under the shirt. Shen Yuan clung to Binghe’s shoulders, trying to break the kiss, but Binghe didn’t give him a chance: he was biting Shen Yuan’s lips again and again, squeezing Shen Yuan’s ass, trying to shove a knee between Shen Yuan’s thighs. The lack of air made it hard to breathe, and Shen Yuan went limp; the next moment the room around them turned upside down, and Shen Yuan fell on the bed. Binghe hovered over him, biting his neck, clearly trying to leave a mark.

“Let me go.” Still not completely recovered, Shen Yuan weakly shoved Binghe away. “Not now…”

“When, if not now?” Binghe curled his lips. “I’ll have to leave soon! And shizun isn’t paying me any attention! Does shizun not want me anymore? Perhaps shizun found someone else in my absence?”

Shen Yuan bit his tongue to avoid blurting out “yes, I did!”. He wanted to say it later, in a different circumstances, to prepare Binghe… if he tried to reveal the truth now, it’d just lead to a new argument.

“Binghe, please…”

“Shizun still loves me, right?” Binghe uttered a broken sigh. “Please, tell me you love me!”

“I do,” Shen Yuan said pliantly. “But Binghe…”

“And since you do,” Binghe interrupted, “let me remind you what you’re refusing!”

Binghe’s body pressed against Shen Yuan’s, letting Shen Yuan feel his hard cock. Shen Yuan plopped on the bed, attempting to crawl away.

“Bing…”

“Shizun,” Binghe whispered into his ear, “just let me do it. Please… you want this too, right? Do you still want me?”

Shen Yuan closed his eyes, cursing his soft heart. He suddenly remembered the Maigu Ridge: “I just want shizun to choose me, is it too much to ask for?” If Shen Yuan refused now, what would Binghe do? Would he understand and accept it? Or would he lose his mind?

Binghe interpreted Shen Yuan’s silence in his own way.

“Since shizun doesn’t want me…”

Damn it. Shen Yuan caught his husband’s hand and pulled him close.

“Be careful, all right?”

Binghe hastily nodded, tearing off Shen Yuan’s remaining clothes. He used one hand to grab Shen Yuan’s wrists and press them to bed, and the other one to grope between Shen Yuan’s legs.

“Shizun, I probably won’t be able to hold back… we haven’t been together for too long. Next time we’ll do it the way you like, but now…”

Binghe painfully bit the nipple, simultaneously gripping Shen Yuan’s dick and balls. Shen Yuan froze, afraid of making a wrong move and losing his most precious parts, so Binghe kept covering Shen Yuan’s chest in bites.

“Shizun, feels so good… missed you so much…”

Shen Yuan tried to relax: he could already see that Binghe was only hearing his own voice and wouldn’t stop. Fine. No point in arguing now: Shen Yuan would surrender under the pressure, let Binghe get what he wanted, then they’d talk.

Binghe finally pulled away, releasing Shen Yuan from his grasp. The next moment Shen Yuan felt Binghe grab him under his knee, forcing him to raise his leg in an almost perfect split. Slick fingers shoved inside Shen Yuan’s ass without a warning, and Shen Yuan’s back bent in pain.

“Hold on a bit, shizun,” Binghe whispered feverishly. “You said you’d suffer through it gladly.”

That was a long time ago! And the circumstances had been different! But the uncomfortable position didn’t let him breathe properly, so instead of an indignant cry Shen Yuan sobbed awkwardly, which Binghe chose to ignore.

“There, there, shizun. A bit more…”

Binghe’s dick pressed to the barely lubricated entrance. Binghe shoved the head inside, shut Shen Yuan up with a kiss, silencing his cry. Shen Yuan hit Binghe’s back with his fists, but Binghe didn’t seem to notice.

Trying to find a distraction from the sharp pain, Shen Yuan closed his eyes. As ill luck would have it, there was no noise outside. He couldn’t even count the ceiling boards because Binghe’s head obstructed the view.

“Shizun, look at me!”

Shen Yuan obediently opened his eyes, tried to relax and froze, a strange feeling taking him by surprise. Something familiar, but not familiar enough, if Shen Yuan weren’t distracted by the powerful thrusts, he’d realise what it was…

The realisation came unexpectedly, and Shen Yuan shuddered in horror. Liu Qingge was approaching! And so fast he was probably flying Chengluan at full speed. What could he possibly want now?! Couldn’t he have picked a better time? Or…

Shen Yuan barely held back from swearing out loud. What a fool he was! He could feel Liu Qingge’s pain and pleasure like his own, it probably worked both ways! No wonder Liu-shidi rushed to Qingjing: Shen Yuan was used to the feeling of a battering ram attacking his rear gate, but Liu Qingge…

Shen Yuan didn’t want Liu Qingge to go through this. Didn’t want to hurt him like that.

The horror forced him to act. Shen Yuan thrashed on the bed, suddenly finding the energy, and was able to bend his leg and shove Binghe away.

“Let go! Enough!”

Binghe shivered, scared by the scream, then pressed closer.

“Is shizun saying that because he’s shy? Or…”

Feeling that a bit more, and Liu Qingge would get to Qingjing, break into the bamboo house and see what was going on, Shen Yuan resorted to drastic measures. A ball of spiritual energy threw Binghe off the bed, and the next moment Xiuya landed in Shen Yuan’s open palm.

“I. Said. Enough!” Shen Yuan growled, enunciating every syllable. Binghe froze on the floor.

“Shizun, what…”

Shen Yuan gulped and came back to his senses. The bloodthirst and the willingness to fight clearly weren’t his own. He needed to get dressed, convince Liu Qingge to leave and somehow fix the mess he’d created… just not in bed. One failure was enough for them.

Throwing Xiuya back into its sheath, Shen Yuan rushed to get dressed. Binghe was watching him from the floor in disbelief.

“Shizun, did I do something wrong?”

“Binghe,” Shen Yuan even stopped for a moment, “how many times do I have to tell you it hurts before it reaches your ears?”

“But you always say it hurts,” Binghe retorted stubbornly. “And then you lie with me anyway. I thought it was our game… that I’m an inexperienced disciple who needs more practice.”

“Get dressed,” Shen Yuan said drily, tying his belt. At least now he could meet Liu Qingge properly, even if it was just an illusion: his ass still hurt like hell, and Liu Qingge was bound to feel it.

“I… shizun, what did I do wrong? You’ve agreed!”

Shen Yuan closed his eyes, desperately wondering what to do. Binghe couldn’t see Liu Qingge, not now.

“Thirty laps around the peak base! This instant!”

“But I…”

“You heard me!”

Binghe sniffed and slowly started to get dressed. Shen Yuan swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Binghe, I need to recover. Later we’ll talk, but now I want to be alone and… heal. Please, leave!”

His voice almost broke, and Shen Yuan pressed a palm to his throat. Binghe looked at him searchingly, lowered his gaze and left.

The next moment Shen Yuan opened the window. Liu Qingge was close, he would probably feel…

Liu Qingge landed at the clearing next to the bamboo house, jumped off Chengluan and looked around. Shen Yuan sighed in relief: Liu Qingge was hiding his qi, so that Binghe couldn’t know of his presence. Without their connection even Shen Yuan would hardly suspect there was anyone beside the window.

“You…”

“Leave,” Shen Yuan hissed quietly, barely audibly. “We’ll talk later!”

“You’re hurt.” Thankfully, Liu Qingge also started whispering. “I don’t…”

“I’ll be fine! Already fine!” That was a lie, and Liu Qingge could feel Shen Yuan’s pain… “I’m sorry I’ve inconvenienced shidi, this won’t happen again, I promise. But now – just leave!”

Liu Qingge approached, put his palm on Shen Yuan’s shoulder, poured some qi into him, pressed his forehead to Shen Yuan’s for a moment, then stepped away.

“You promised.”

Shen Yuan grabbed his hand, kissed his fingers and let go.

“That’s it, fly away!”

“I’ll be back if you’re hurt again,” Liu Qingge threatened, then finally jumped on Chengluan. Shen Yuan leaned on the window frame in relief, gave himself a few moments of respite, then went to the adjacent room.

“Binghe?..”

There was no answer. For a moment Shen Yuan grew cold, horrified by the idea that Binghe could have heard his conversation with Liu Qingge, but… if something happened to Liu Qingge, Shen Yuan would know.

Binghe was just following his order and had left to run around the peak. Nothing bad had happened. Everything was fine. Shen Yuan repeated that again and again, but the storm in his heart still refused to quieten. Binghe had left too hastily, usually he’d wait and stall, hoping for Shen Yuan to change his mind. Could Shen Yuan have upset him so much? But Binghe must have known… or not? Perhaps it was Shen Yuan who hadn’t explained properly? Hadn’t resisted enough? He could’ve used qi from the very beginning instead of squeaking like a hentai girl. But Shen Yuan hadn’t meant to injure his husband – he just…

Binghe just…

Shen Yuan gave up and plopped on the sitting cushion, pressed his palms to his face. He didn’t know what to think. Nor did he have anyone to discuss the situation with – Shen Yuan could already imagine what he’d hear.

“Bro, why’d you act coy in the first place? It’s Bing-ge! You’ve written odes to him in my comments!”

“Shizun, I really didn’t mean to hurt you! I just got carried away and couldn’t hold back, you know how it is, I’ve warned you…”

“He’s just a bastard and a rapist who’ll never change.”

“Shizun?..”

Binghe was standing in the doorway, breathing heavily: he must have just finished his thirty laps. Shen Yuan observed him, noticing every detail: his reddened and swollen eyelids, his bitten lips, his cornered look. Binghe seemed to regret his actions.

“Binghe.” Shen Yuan gulped, “I…”

“Shizun needn’t say anything,” Binghe interrupted. “This disciple understands. This disciple… was a fool to believe shizun still loves and wants him. This disciple has already realised his mistake and won’t bother shizun with his company again.”

Binghe sobbed loudly and fell on his knees, his forehead hit the floor, almost breaking the boards.

“Realised his mistake?” Shen Yuan repeated slowly. Binghe nodded without raising his head.

“This disciple believed shizun would never leave him, never betray him again. Believed shizun’s words that from that moment forth we’d always be together. This disciple shouldn’t have… been so naïve. Of course shizun couldn’t have really fallen in love with him…”

“What on earth are you saying?!” Shen Yuan jumped to his feet. Binghe shuddered.

“I’ve known from the start that I’d never get what I wanted. That shizun would never choose me… that no one would ever choose me. I just let myself be deceived… and I’ve already recognised my mistake.”

“Bing…”

“No one would ever love a monster like me.”

Shen Yuan unconsciously stepped forth, pulled Binghe by the shoulder, pressed Binghe’s head to his chest, patted his hair.

“What are you… silly child, what have you imagined… it’s not that…”

“Really?” Binghe sobbed. “Shizun… shizun, please, tell me!..”

“I love you,” Shen Yuan said without a sliver of doubt. “This won’t change.”

Binghe started crying out loud, and Shen Yuan sighed deeply, trying to understand what to do next. The breakup would have to wait: not when Binghe was in such a terrible condition. They’d have the conversation later…

“Shizun,” Binghe calmed down a bit and was now playing with the hem of Shen Yuan’s sleeve, looking at him from below. “Why were you angry? Tell this disciple…”

“You caused me pain,” Shen Yuan reminded. “You didn’t stop when I asked…”

“But I did,” Binghe replied sincerely. “The moment shizun really asked, I…”

“I asked you before.”

“You weren’t serious! You always say that, and then hug or kiss me… Because you like it when I overcome your resistance.”

Shen Yuan clenched his teeth.

“We’ve discussed that. I don’t like…”

“Then why does shizun always agree? This disciple wouldn’t dare oppose shizun’s wishes, but…”

Shen Yuan groaned. All his reasoning was crumbling down like a house of cards. Oh, how he wished to have a chance to fall into the cold calculative state that allowed him to find mistakes and blunders in Binghe’s words! Alas, the connection worked both ways, and if Shen Yuan tried to reach out to Liu Qingge now, he’d pass on his own feelings too: his confusion, his pain, his incomprehension. That might lead to Liu Qingge coming back to save him, and then… no, it was better to avoid a scene.

“Binghe, you really hurt me,” Shen Yuan said tiredly when Binghe paused. “I understand that you missed me, but still… do try to hold back.”

“This disciple understands.” Binghe perked up like a puppy praised for a newly learnt trick. “This disciple will start practicing immediately!”

“Don’t you dare!” Shen Yuan harshly blocked the attempt to grab him. “No practice until I recover!”

No more practice at all, in fact. Shen Yuan was now sure Binghe’s behavior wouldn’t change, he’d still continue hurting his partner. Shen Yuan could suffer through it, but what right did he have to force someone else into this?

Binghe pouted.

“Will shizun at least let me help him bathe?”

Well, this was the lesser evil. Shen Yuan nodded, and Binghe immediately bridal-carried him to the tub. While Shen Yuan was pulling off his clothes, Binghe prepared everything.

“Come in, shizun…”

Shen Yuan winced before sitting down, then threw back his head. The hot water with healing herbs dulled the pain a bit, and Shen Yuan closed his eyes.

“Good work, Binghe.”

“Shizun, let me.” Binghe took Shen Yuan’s palm into his hands, washed it with soft cloth, massaged the fingers, kissed the wrist. Shen Yuan didn’t have the time to say something indignant, as Binghe already pulled away. “Begging your pardon! I promise, I won’t go beyond the washing!”

Shen Yuan nodded after a pause. Encouraged by his consent, Binghe slowly rubbed the cloth over Shen Yuan’s forearm, arm, clavicle, chest, then started working on the second arm. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but relax: he hadn’t been massaged in a long while. Perhaps he should ask Liu Qingge next time?..

The thought of Liu Qingge, his hands spreading oil over Shen Yuan’s skin, the smell of his arousal, his touch was so pleasant Shen Yuan felt blood rush to his cock. Binghe must have noticed it too – and taken it as a result of his efforts.

“Is shizun enjoying himself?..”

Shen Yuan hummed something ambiguous. If he said he didn’t, Binghe would get upset, or even get an inferiority complex. It was easier to agree.

Binghe had already put the cloth aside, and now his palms were gliding over Shen Yuan’s skin, going further and further down. Shen Yuan panicked, jerked away, and Binghe immediately removed his hand.

“Shizun, what?..”

“It hurts.” Shen Yuan found an excuse in time. “Let us finish for now.”

Binghe sighed offendedly, but he must have bought it, especially since Shen Yuan’s chest was littered with bruises and bite marks.

In the end Shen Yuan was unable to kick his husband out to the shed, although the very thought of lying in the marital bed together made Shen Yuan shudder. No matter, he could live with that. Binghe needed comfort, needed to feel loved and wanted, and Shen Yuan could shove his feelings aside.

Thankfully, the next day Binghe started enthusiastically making amends, cleaned the house, cooked a feast, tried to massage Shen Yuan’s shoulders, almost started working with the documents piled on the desk, but Shen Yuan distracted him from the task.

“Binghe, you’re tired already. Why don’t we spend some time together?”

“Did shizun change his mind?” Binghe perked up. “Is shizun no longer in pain?”

“I am in pain.” Shen Yuan hastily stepped away. “I meant… we could talk. Or… I don’t know, find something to do together. Paint a picture or…”

Binghe’s smile disappeared, he shrugged and averted his gaze.

“If shizun wants to.”

“Don’t you?” Shen Yuan asked him in disbelief. “You’re constantly complaining that you need more attention! What’s wrong now?”

“Not this sort of attention!” Binghe blushed. “I want shizun to look only at me, not at a painting! To think only of me, not of something else!”

Shen Yuan hid behind his fan, feeling his jaw dropping to the floor. He hadn’t expected such resistance.

“Then what sort of attention do you want? Cuddles?”

“Not just cuddles,” Binghe grumbled. Shen Yuan shrugged helplessly.

“We can’t spend our whole lives in the bedroom! There must be something else you like, anything…”

“When this disciple was younger,” Binghe sighed dejectedly, “he believed his feelings for shizun would forever remain unanswered. He believed this disciple would never get shizun, no matter how hard he tried. Now that this disciple can call shizun his wife…”

“Husband,” Shen Yuan interrupted. Binghe frowned.

“Wife! We’ve agreed shizun would give me his hand in marriage, not vice versa. I suggested giving shizun my hand in marriage, but…”

“I don’t like it when you call me your wife.”

Truthfully, Shen Yuan liked this whole conversation less and less.

“What should I call you then? You are my wife.”

Shen Yuan winced, and Binghe backpedaled.

“This disciple meant… now that shizun can call this disciple his husband, it’s all different. This disciple’s most cherished dream has come true. I still find it hard to believe… Only when I’m with shizun, do I forget my doubts. Simply doing something together isn’t something that hasn’t happened before, it’s different.”

If Shen Yuan were to be asked, “simply doing something together” was pleasant and interesting. Liu Qingge had never refused a sparring, he listened to Shen Yuan’s long speeches about rare monsters or recently finished books without complaints, taught Shen Yuan to cook… Shen Yuan grasped the thought.

“Binghe, perhaps we could cook something together? We haven’t done that before.”

“Does shizun know how to cook?” Binghe asked distrustfully. Shen Yuan shrugged.

“If I can’t do something, you’ll teach me. Consider me your apprentice.”

Binghe agreed with obvious reluctance, but Shen Yuan, captivated by his new idea, didn’t pay it any mind. Still, the moment he stepped towards the kitchen, Binghe grabbed him by the elbow.

“Shizun, put on something else!”

Well, fair: it was easy to get dirty in the kitchen. Shen Yuan patted Binghe’s head in gratitude.

“Smart boy. Good thinking.”

“Shizun is unaccustomed to such work,” Binghe started whining, “why did shizun even think of…”

“Hush!” Shen Yuan said jokingly. “We’re spending time together, just like you wanted. Don’t complain!”

Binghe didn’t follow the order and kept whining: Shen Yuan wasn’t properly holding the knife, wasn’t standing in the right place, wasn’t taking the right cup, couldn’t find the right ingredients… Shen Yuan felt like a slacker, and he didn’t like the feeling at all.

“Fine, fine… I admit, I acted rashly. My experience clearly isn’t enough for culinary feats. Perhaps you can give me a simple task while taking care of more complicated stuff?”

“All right, shizun. Clean this.”

Binghe dropped a fat fish on the table in front of Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan poked it with the knife, not knowing where to start. Damn it, why hadn’t he watched cooking shows in his past life?..

Whatever. After all, Shen Yuan was an adult, so he could reverse-engineer the process using simple logic. In the seaside restaurant, where the Shen family had gone to celebrate older brother’s promotion, the fish had been served gutted and headless. Which meant Shen Yuan had to chop off the head and cut the belly open, right?

Not even the first step went smoothly. The knife was sliding on the scales, Shen Yuan almost cut his finger, gasped and worriedly glanced at Binghe, who was busy slicing vegetables and didn’t pay any attention to his husband. Shen Yuan didn’t know whether to be happy or upset: he didn’t want to listen to reprimands, but they were supposed to spend time together! That was the whole point!

Constantly looking at his husband, Shen Yuan sawed the fish head off, cut the soft belly open and scrubbed the guts out, then waved the knife proudly.

“Look, Binghe!.. I…”

Binghe looked at the result of his efforts and raised an eyebrow.

“Is shizun going to throw everything away like this? You need to sort out the intestines and the head, divide the edible and the inedible. And don’t forget the scales.”

His recent pride evaporated. Shen Yuan lowered the knife and felt Binghe’s fingers close around his wrist.

“Shizun should go wash his hands and change his clothes. This disciple will clean the kitchen and finish cooking on his own.”

Defeated, Shen Yuan slowly went to the basin of water, dragging his feet. He knew he couldn’t cook, the best he could do was boiling instant noodles, but still… He hadn’t managed a simple task! Shen Yuan hadn’t felt inept in a very long time.

The clatter of the dishes in the kitchen quickly went silent, and soon Binghe appeared at the door with a tray of food.

“Here, shizun. You must be tired and hungry.”

Shen Yuan was poking at the strips of fresh fish in spicy sauce without any appetite. Binghe had finished so quickly – he must have really given Shen Yuan a simple task suitable for a beginner. But Shen Yuan had failed even that. Him and Binghe were supposed to enjoy each other’s company, to take pleasure in the result of their efforts, and how’d that go? Binghe had done everything all by himself, while Shen Yuan had been sitting idle.

“Is something not to shizun’s liking? Did this disciple make a mistake?” Binghe asked worriedly. “Perhaps this disciple wasn’t diligent enough when removing the bones? Shizun, give it to me, I’ll fix everything!..”

“No need.” Shen Yuan hastily shoved a piece of fish into his mouth and started chewing. The taste was heavenly, as usual. “Binghe did great.”

“Thank you, shizun!” The praise made Binghe beam. “As long as I’m here, shizun needn’t cook himself! So don’t worry…”

You’d fail anyway was left unsaid. Shen Yuan desperately wished to push his plate away, stand up and leave, but that would be terribly ungrateful.

“Thank you.”

“Shizun, you’re not eating well. Are you sick?”

Shen Yuan suppressed his irritation and tried to change the subject.

“Speaking of sicknesses. Did Mu Qingfang send you the list of medicine he needed?”

“He did.” Binghe immediately lost all enthusiasm. “I also received the lists from Xianshu, Anding, Zuixian. They are asking for a lot.”

“And you have a lot to apologise for,” Shen Yuan replied, not unreasonably, “so don’t be picky. After eating we’ll see what’s required of you, prepare a roadmap, and you’ll depart tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?..”

“Why wait? Or do you want to create an impression that you’re neglecting the trust granted to you?”

Binghe huffed in annoyance, but didn’t argue.

“Shizun, what about the peaks that didn’t send any lists?”

“When you return with the gifts, it’ll show your sincerity. After that even those who didn’t trust you in the beginning will doubt. You’ll visit each of them – not empty-handed, of course. You’ll apologise… I think this’ll make them hesitate and warm them up to you.”

“I doubt an apology could warm… Liu-shishu up to me.”

Binghe curled his lips.

“You don’t have to go to Baizhan,” Shen Yuan gave him the good news. “Liu-shidi has already said he doesn’t need apologies, he’ll judge you by your behavior.”

Thankfully, the work helped reduce Binghe’s displeasure. He obediently dove into paperwork with Shen Yuan. According to their calculations, without Xinmo and its ability to create portals Binghe would need two weeks to gather all the necessary gifts.

However, his departure had to be delayed: in the morning Binghe went to Qiongding to fulfil some agreement with Yue Qingyuan – he didn’t say what that was about, no matter how much Shen Yuan asked. Binghe came back exhausted, so Shen Yuan sent him to get some rest. Well, at least Binghe said that “Yue-shibo” had completely forgiven him and allowed him to visit Qingjing and Qiongding at any time. They could celebrate their victory.

Binghe’s strange fatigue invariably made Shen Yuan worry, so much so, that Shen Yuan promised himself to question Yue Qingyuan about Binghe’s condition when he had the chance. And yet his worry mixed with relief: Binghe was feeling so unwell he didn’t even insist on having sex “to say goodbye before the long separation”. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure he’d be able to say no when Binghe was looking at him from down below, sweating from the sickness, lost and pitiful. But Shen Yuan had no right to agree either – not when he was sharing his pain with another person.

With the person he loved.

The next day Binghe got better, but he surprisingly behaved, and the attempts to drag Shen Yuan to bed stopped after the first decisive “no”. Shen Yuan didn’t even know what to expect from such unusual obedience: had Binghe realised he’d been hurting his husband and decided to do better? Or was Binghe still unwell, but he was hiding his sickness from his husband, afraid of seeming too persistent? No, impossible. If Binghe were actually sick, he wouldn’t let an opportunity to make Shen Yuan pity him slip by.

Catching his cruel thought, Shen Yuan shook his head. What kind of nonsense!.. How could he have stooped so low? To suppress his guilt, Shen Yuan doubled his care for his husband, trying to follow every whim of his. Happy with the newly obtained consent, Binghe forced Shen Yuan to strike an awfully embarrassing pose, groped him, left a bunch of new bruises and love bites on his skin, but thankfully didn’t go any further.

Finally Shen Yuan saw his husband off, feeling an utterly unworthy and shameful relief. He could finally go back to his routine: teaching, creating art, cultivating, reading. Shen Yuan knew his time was limited, yet still wasted three days out of fifteen on mundane tasks. The disciples seemed happy with the attention, and Shen Yuan felt a prick of shame: he’d left them completely unattended, busy with his own affairs… And he’d promised to never leave them again.

But he’d made a promise to Binghe as well…

And he intended to break it.

Shen Yuan’s guilty conscience sank its claws into him. Before that he hadn’t thought too hard about betraying Binghe’s trust by sleeping with someone else behind Binghe’s back – and with whom? Liu Qingge, of whom Binghe was constantly jealous already! Even if Shen Yuan wanted to hurt his husband on purpose, he’d hardly invent a better way.

He got pulled out of his musings by a bang of the door. Shen Yuan jumped in surprise, rushed to the hall and wasn’t even caught off-guard by seeing Liu Qingge on the doorstep.

“What happened?..”

“That’s my line. I could feel you thinking even back on Baizhan. Do you need help?”

Shen Yuan laughed, taken by surprise. All his heavy thoughts disappeared without a trace: Shen Yuan could feel himself turning into an empty-headed infatuated moron.

“What are you doing to me?” Shen Yuan whispered under his breath. Liu Qingge stepped closer, carefully took Shen Yuan’s chin and looked at his face.

“Are you all right?”

Shen Yuan kissed him instead of replying. Liu Qingge embraced Shen Yuan by the waist, pressed him close, then interrupted the kiss and pulled away.

“You didn’t answer.”

Damn it. Such distractions worked on Binghe without fail, but Liu Qingge apparently prioritised the interrogation of his lover over falling atop the nearest horizontal surface.

Well, Shen Yuan wanted to talk anyway.

“I plan to leave Binghe. Not right now, but once his relationship with others gets better, once he has more allies.”

Liu Qingge palpably relaxed and smiled.

“It’s been a long time coming. I don’t even know why you’ve let him torment and rape you for so long.”

“That’s not!..” Shen Yuan blushed and twisted out of the embrace. “He didn’t rape me, you misunderstood…”

“I felt him not raping you ,” Liu Qingge interrupted. “And the Maigu Ridge…”

“You just didn’t understand! You’ve accused him without trying to investigate!”

“What was there to investigate? I saw your condition with my own two eyes!”

“He wasn’t in control of himself! It was the sword…”

“And after that? Was it also the sword? Or did you agree for him to hurt you?”

“Yes, I did!” Shen Yuan snapped and immediately bit his tongue. He had repeated several times he didn’t want it, yet Binghe hadn’t listened… Only Shen Yuan’s stubborness made him continue. “I can handle it. I’m sorry shidi had to go through such a thing, of course, it won’t happen again…”

“So you can’t treat me like that,” Liu Qingge interrupted, “but you’d let him do it to you?”

Shen Yuan froze, not knowing what to answer. An honest reply would be “yes”, but Shen Yuan already knew what kind of a retort he’d have to listen to. Liu Qingge had always protected him as much as he could, perfectly willing to risk his life. Liu Qingge wouldn’t allow for the idea of Shen Yuan being dispensable, of his pain being worth nothing.

Shen Yuan felt his eyes tingle, squeezed them shut, blinked, then realised he couldn’t suppress his tears and blindly groped at his belt. Where was his fan?..

Liu Qingge silently gave Shen Yuan a new one. An elegant thing made of silk, with a beautiful drawing – that definitely wasn’t a part of Shen Qingqiu’s collection. Was it a gift?..

Forgetting the decorum and the need to save face, Shen Yuan stepped forth, tucked his nose into Liu Qingge’s neck. Liu Qingge carefully embraced him, as if afraid of causing pain, and Shen Yuan allowed himself to relax. He felt neither judgement nor annoyance or contempt through their connection, only slight awkwardness, as if Liu Qingge didn’t know what to do, and a touching determination to stand his ground.

After calming down a bit, Shen Yuan washed his face. Liu Qingge used the time to find some tea in the kitchen – not the sort Shen Yuan usually drank, but Liu Qingge was inhaling the aroma with obvious pleasure.

“Much better than your usual garbage.”

“Not all of us have such delicate tastes,” Shen Yuan retorted without any fire. Their bickering felt almost cosy. Like a signal that everything between them remained the same.

Damn it, Shen Yuan loved this man.

He almost blurted out the confession, only biting his tongue at the last moment, but Liu Qingge still blushed – he must have felt something. Shen Yuan covered Liu Qingge’s palm with his own, and Liu Qingge turned his hand over, intertwining their fingers.

“We… I don’t want to do anything today,” Shen Yuan admitted awkwardly. “We can just… I’ll understand if you get bored and want to leave.”

“Why would I get bored?” Liu Qingge looked at Shen Yuan with obvious bafflement, then clenched his teeth. “Do you think I only come to you for one thing?!”

Shen Yuan felt the burn of Liu Qingge’s umbrage and offense and hastily pressed Liu Qingge’s palm to his lips, peppering the knuckles with kisses.

“What are you saying, shidi? That’s not what I think at all! I’ll be happy to have a chance to spend time with you.”

“Fine.” Liu Qingge huffed, visibly appeased. “What are we going to do?”

“What do you want to do, shidi?”

“And you?”

Shen Yuan froze. He didn’t expect to be given the opportunity to choose, but since the gift fell into his lap…

“If shidi doesn’t mind, I’d like to draw him. Can you spend a few hours unmoving?”

“I can.” Liu Qingge finished his tea and stood up in one elegant movement. “Where should I go?”

Shen Yuan smirked. Liu Qingge clearly didn’t expect any catch, which only made the anticipation sweeter.

“To the bedroom, shidi.”

Liu Qingge blushed, raised an eyebrow, but obediently moved towards the door. Shen Yuan hastily grabbed the necessary supplies and followed.

“I’m going to open the window, look for a place with suitable lighting.”

“And what should I do?”

“Get undressed, shidi.”

Liu Qingge’s scandalised expression almost made Shen Yuan laugh out loud.

“You… you!”

“What? Does shidi think there’s something I haven’t seen yet?”

Truth be told, if Shen Yuan had to follow such a request, he’d be terribly embarrassed. Yes, he was a hypocrite, sue him! Liu Qingge’s blush of outrage looked both funny and appealing. Shen Yuan gulped: Liu Qingge’s blood was rushing through his veins, making his smell thicker.

“Really, shidi, take your clothes off. I’d… like to bite you, if you don’t mind. It’d be a pity to stain your cloak.”

Liu Qingge stayed silent, but Shen Yuan felt a wave of his arousal and completely forgot the need to open the shutters, ogling Liu Qingge pulling off his clothes one by one. Liu Qingge wasn’t trying to give him a show, he was moving quickly and efficiently, as if not noticing that he was being observed. Only the blush on his cheeks betrayed his embarrassment.

When Liu Qingge stayed in nothing but his pants, Shen Yuan finally let himself loose, approached, shoved Liu Qingge, making him fall on the bed, straddled his lap and licked his neck.

“You may lick the bite,” Liu Qingge rasped. Shen Yuan frowned.

“It’ll heal slower, you know that.”

“Don’t care.”

Shen Yuan wouldn’t agree if he didn’t feel a wave of hot sincerity through their connection. Liu Qingge wasn’t merely suggesting to forgo his comfort and handle the pain for the sake of Shen Yuan’s pleasure – he really wanted it.

Shen Yuan licked a wide stripe over Liu Qingge’s skin and sank his fangs into the flesh. It felt good. Heavens, it felt so good!.. Shen Yuan even moaned, rubbing his hard cock against Liu Qignge’s stomach, then started licking the rivulets of crimson blood off the pale skin. The contrast looked divine, if Shen Yuan had a camera, he’d gladly take a few pictures for a private collection. Now the only option he had was to grab a brush and paints.

“Try not to move, shidi.”

Liu Qingge obediently froze: dishevelled (when had Shen Yuan taken his hair crown off?), almost naked, with an obvious bite mark above his clavicle. The blood was already clotting, but one thin rivulet was still trickling down Liu Qingge’s chest to the firm stomach.

Shen Yuan gulped, trying to concentrate and immortalise the soul-stirring sight in all its details. Liu Qingge didn’t move, even though Shen Yuan could feel his slight discomfort… right, Liu-shidi was ticklish.

“Wait a bit,” Shen Yuan promised, out of breath. “Just a bit longer.”

He didn’t manage a proper portrait, of course – only a sketch, flowing lines, simple broad strokes. But Shen Yuan couldn’t handle it anymore. He threw the brush aside and approached the bed, taking off his robe on the way.

“I thought you didn’t want it today,” Liu Qingge whispered, opening his arms. Shen Yuan shook his head.

“I changed my mind.”

They quickly got rid of the remaining clothes. Shen Yuan licked Liu Qingge’s skin clean, rubbed his thigh against the cock, shoved at Liu Qingge’s shoulder and looked around.

“Where’s the oil?..”

“In the sleeve of my cloak,” Liu Qingge replied. Shen Yuan nodded and slid to the floor; he was swaying on his feet, his arousal clouding his thoughts. It took him some time to find the carefully folded cloak, then he shoved his hand inside the sleeve, pricked his finger on something sharp and finally found the smooth cool bottle.

“I think I found it.”

“Take the ointment if you plan to… or do you want to do me?”

“We’ll try to forego the ointment first,” Shen Yuan suggested. “If it hurts, then… but I think it’ll be easier this time.”

He was right: Liu Qingge’s fingers were sliding in and out of his body without any resistance, carefully covering the inner walls with oil. Shen Yuan was clenching on those long fingers, moving his hips towards the touch, pressing a hand over his mouth to avoid moaning out loud: what if his disciples heard? The simple-minded Ning Yingying might even mention something at the wrong time, perhaps even in front of Binghe…

Heat pooled in the bottom of his stomach. Shen Yuan had forgotten he’d brought his lover to his marital bed, that he’d had sex with his husband in the very same bed only recently, and now…

“Shidi, more!”

Liu Qingge tried to turn over, but Shen Yuan moved his hips, grabbed Liu Qingge by the wrists, pressing them to the bed.

“Don’t you move! You promised to obey my every wish, didn’t you?”

Liu Qingge’s pupils went wide, and he nodded hastily. Shen Yuan grabbed the oil bottle, lubed Liu Qingge’s cock and slowly lowered himself on it, bracing against Liu Qingge’s chest and trying to assume a more comfortable position. Liu Qingge didn’t move, still holding his crossed wrists over his head, and Shen Yuan smiled warmly at him.

“Good boy, shidi.”

Their arousal coursed back and forth through their connection, increasing every time. Shen Yuan was moving in quick shallow thrusts, slowly building up the rhythm. Contrary to his expectations, there was no pain: Shen Yuan wasn’t expecting a catch, allowed himself to relax and was the one to choose whatever was comfortable for him. Besides, the sight of Liu Qingge frozen under him was so incredibly, otherworldly delicious it made Shen Yuan’s knees spread apart on their own.

Shen Yuan himself wasn’t sure what got him so turned on: the position, the view or everything at once. However, he felt he wouldn’t last longer. Normally Shen Yuan would be too embarrassed to touch himself in plain view of his lover, but now he didn’t even have to read his usual mantra “forget the embarrassment, you’ve already lost face, what’s the point in worrying about that”. For some reason Shen Yuan didn’t have to do any self-persuasion in bed with Liu Qingge – Shen Yuan actually liked what they were doing together. His usual self-restraint lost any meaning, and Shen Yuan gladly asked for things he hadn’t even considered before.

“So good with you…” Shen Yuan whispered ecstatically, moving his hand faster and faster. “Shidi…”

Liu Qingge didn’t move even after Shen Yuan spilt on his stomach and chest, even though Shen Yuan could see the effort it took Liu Qingge to keep still: his clenched fists, his tightly shut eyes, his lip, bitten bloody. Shen Yuan went limp atop Liu Qingge and tenderly licked the wound. Liu Qingge groaned into the kiss.

“What, shidi?” Shen Yuan whispered in his ear. Liu Qingge frowned, as if pained.

“Shen… I can’t go on. Let me…”

Right, Liu Qingge still hadn’t come. With that fact suddenly coming to his attention, Shen Yuan tried to move his hips, to let Liu Qingge reach the peak, but immediately winced from the unpleasant sensation. Now that he was oversensitive after the orgasm, the hard cock inside of him was almost painful.

“Don’t.” Liu Qingge jerked his arms, but quickly aborted the movement. “If you’re hurt, I’d rather not… I can do it myself.”

“Got it.” Shen Yuan carefully raised his hips and let the cock slide out of the entrance. It wasn’t particularly pleasant, but at least there was no seed pouring out of his ass, which somewhat reconciled Shen Yuan with the situation. “You don’t have to do it yourself. We’ll think of something.”

“Remember how back at my house…” Liu Qingge blushed. “If you… close your legs…”

Right, between the thighs! Shen Yuan beamed. Yes, this way could work.

“In this case shidi may move.”

Liu Qingge sighed in relief and gracefully rose on his elbow. Shen Yuan admired Liu Qingge’s body in this new position. Next time Shen Yuan chose to ride him, Liu Qingge wouldn’t lie down, but sit, leaning on the bedrest. Yes, it’d be face to face, yes, it’d be embarrassing, but the very idea made Shen Yuan gulp.

Liu Qingge grabbed the oil bottle with shaking hands, slicked Shen Yuan’s thighs, pulled him close, sat him on his lap, back pressed to chest.

“Is that… fine? Will it do?”

“It’ll be hard for you to move.”

Contrary to his words, Shen Yuan threw his head back on Liu Qingge’s shoulder and relaxed.

Liu Qingge hummed, then grabbed Shen Yuan’s waist and raised him – once, twice, then sharply pulled him down. Shen Yuan gasped: the ease with which Liu Qingge was manhandling his body was astounding.

He could probably understand the appeal of surrendering all power over himself to his lover…

“You may continue,” Shen Yuan breathed out, feeling the unease from Liu Qingge through their connection. Liu Qingge nodded in clear relief and obeyed. He didn’t need much, just like he’d said: soon Shen Yuan’s thighs were stained with seed. Shen Yuan slid his palm over it, gathering the white drops, then licked it off.

Felt so good…

They spent some time cuddling. Liu Qingge was still pressed to Shen Yuan from behind, lazily kissing his neck and shoulders. Shen Yuan felt that he was smiling like a moron, but he didn’t care for the moment. Later, once he recovered, he would control his expression, but now…

Liu Qingge broke the embrace with a sigh and crawled off the bed. Shen Yuan frowned unhappily.

“Where?..”

 “To bathe and to eat.”

Shen Yuan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. On the one hand, such mundane urges contrasted his own abstract musings, on the other hand, Liu Qingge was right: they could use some food.

They didn’t bathe together: the tub in the bamboo house was too small for two adult men. When Shen Yuan returned to the bedroom, drying his wet hair with a towel, he was surprised to find that Liu Qingge had already taken the dirty sheets off the bed.

“Burn them later, you don’t want to make your students wash them.”

Fair. He’d still have to explain the loss to Binghe… No matter, Shen Yuan could come up with an excuse later.

“Shidi wanted to eat, right? I’m afraid I don’t have any food ready…”

“We’ll cook it.”

Liu Qingge waved him off, and the calm confidence made Shen Yuan smile involuntarily. Liu Qingge didn’t even entertain the idea that Shen Yuan wouldn’t help, that Shen Yuan would be a burden.

Inspired by the trust, Shen Yuan found the courage to ask.

“Shidi, can you cook fish?”

“I’ve done it before. Do you have something fresh? Or should I catch some?”

Shen Yuan imagined taking a fishing rod and sitting on the bank of an ice-cold mountain stream, then shuddered.

“No need. There was a fish in the storage on the ice.”

Thankfully, the fish was cold, not frozen to the bone – thanks to Airplane, who used his demon’s help to successfully develop and implement an equivalent of xianxia-fridges at Cangqiong. Shen Yuan headed to the kitchen with his hands full, led by his determination to do everything properly next time.

“Wash it, but carefully,” Liu Qingge ordered, sniffing the bags of spice. “Don’t get cut on the fins and the spine.”

Shen Yuan followed the instruction. Well, the first stage was a success: he did everything as he’d been told! Shen Yuan sent Liu Qingge a smile and got a nod of approval in response.

Now he probably needed to gut the fish. Liu Qingge had already mixed something like batter in a bowl, so Shen Yuan grabbed a knife and a cutting board and carefully approached the fish.

Liu Qingge suddenly came up to him from behind, catching his wrist.

“Wait. This knife is no good, it’s dull. Find another one.”

Dull? But that was the very knife Binghe had given to Shen Yuan the last time… had he made a mistake? Well, that explained why Shen Yuan had had so much trouble cutting the fish.

When Shen Yuan returned to the cutting board with another knife, Liu Qingge took his hand again.

“Look, you better cut here, under the gills. The head goes first… that’s right. Now gut it. Keep the heart and the liver, they’re edible. Keep the eggs too. Throw out the guts and the air bladder. I’ll deal with the head myself.”

“What about the scales?” Shen Yuan asked absent-mindedly, throwing the fish intestines into an empty bowl.

“We’ll bake the fish whole, crusted, you don’t have to clean the scales off for that.” Liu Qingge shrugged. “I don’t like it anyway.”

Well, according to Liu Qingge, the hardest stage was already done. Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow.

“This is easier than I thought. Aren’t you going to separate the meat from the bones?”

“Look, I’m not a Zuixian adept.” Liu Qingge scrunched his nose. “Sometimes I have to cook for myself when hunting, to grill something on the fire or bake on hot coals, but if you want delicacies, ask someone else.”

Fair enough. Shen Yuan smiled placatingly.

“I wasn’t trying to doubt shidi’s abilities. I’m relying on you.”

“Which spices do you like?” Liu Qingge blushed, clearly dazed by the compliment, and averted his gaze. Shen Yuan approached him.

“Not too hot. What did you use?”

The conversation was surprisingly cozy. Shen Yuan felt neither awkwardness nor shame for his regrettably limited knowledge. Liu Qingge’s explanations were simple, but clear – just like when he was explaining combat moves during sparrings.

The aroma of the cooked fish was mouth-watering, so Shen Yuan found a bottle of wine suitable for the occasion. Surprisingly, the smell didn’t make him shudder in disgust: after Binghe’s experiments Shen Yuan had had a hard time looking at alcohol, but now his memories seemed blurry and dim. Or perhaps it was due to Liu Qingge’s presence – here, in the bamboo house, next to Shen Yuan. They hadn’t spent time together at Qingjing for a while: Binghe had thrown jealousy fits, refusing to leave them alone, and treated the guest boorishly, embarrassing Shen Yuan. Now Shen Yuan was sitting side by side with Liu Qingge, putting tender pieces of fish on his plate, pouring him wine, inhaling his smell and feeling dizzy from the proximity.

Having grown bold, Shen Yuan invited Liu Qingge to stay for the night – and the next morning. This was a stupid and unnecessary gamble, they risked getting caught, suspected, but the thought of Liu Qingge spending the night in Shen Yuan’s bed was so sweet it made Shen Yuan swoon. As if they were already dating, already together. Shen Yuan couldn’t wait for it to become true – but for now he was content with an illusion.

Truly, love impaired mental capacity…

In the evening Shen Yuan tried to retell “Romeo and Juliet” to Liu Qingge. It turned out surprisingly well, or at least Liu Qingge didn’t seem bored, kept asking questions and even remembered a poem suitable for the occasion. That startled Shen Yuan a bit: he didn’t expect Liu Qingge to know the first thing about poetry.

“Do you think I sleep with my sword on the pillow and do nothing but hunt monsters?” Liu Qingge huffed in response to Shen Yuan’s surprise. “I have interests.”

“Does shidi like love poetry?”

“Doesn’t have to be love poetry.” Liu Qingge suddenly got shy. “Just good poetry. Songs. As long as it’s not…”

Liu Qingge didn’t continue, but Shen Yuan knew it was about the thrice-damned “Resentment of Chunshan”. Which they needed to talk about, while they had the chance. Shen Yuan regretfully abandoned the idea to woo Liu Qingge with some romantic poem and grew serious.

“Speaking of that. When I leave Binghe… shidi, I’m afraid you might have a hard time.”

“Perhaps I haven’t won a single fight against him,” Liu Qingge clenched his teeth, “but he hasn’t killed me yet. I’ll manage. Especially since the bastard no longer has his sword.”

“I wasn’t talking about Binghe.” Shen Yuan refused to think that his husband was capable of harming them both. After all, Binghe had promised he’d let Shen Yuan go if Shen Yuan wanted to leave! “It’s just… the maidens that love those cheap books might get mad once they find out about us. And their anger will very likely fall upon your head.”

“Us?” Liu Qingge repeated slowly, as if in disbelief. Shen Yuan tensed involuntarily.

“You… don’t want to? I mean, if you’d rather keep our relationship a secret, I’ll understand…”

Liu Qingge suddenly covered Shen Yuan’s palm with his own and smiled – so openly it took Shen Yuan’s breath away.

“You promised to leave him… but you haven’t mentioned you’re leaving him for me .”

“Who else?” Shen Yuan cried in outrage. “Do you think I have a lover on every peak?!”

“I…” Liu Qingge went quiet, clearly trying to find the right words. “I wasn’t sure how serious this is for you.”

Right. Well, it was understandable: Shen Yuan had never discussed their relationship with Liu Qingge, so from Liu Qingge’s perspective that could be a simple fling. Shen Yuan frowned: he needed to clear the air now and to avoid misunderstandings. After all, he wasn’t a complete moron and could learn from his mistakes.

“I love you.” It was surprisingly easy to say, even if Shen Yuan blushed to the tips of his ears, staring at the corner and avoiding Liu Qingge’s eyes. “I wouldn’t… with you, if I didn’t…”

Liu Qingge suddenly stood up and went down on one knee next to Shen Yuan, clasped his hand, intertwined their fingers and pressed them to his chest, so that Shen Yuan could feel the rapid beating of his heart.

“Shen Qingqiu. I’m yours.”

Shen Yuan somehow managed to look him in the eyes, but immediately averted his gaze again. Liu Qingge was shining with heart-breaking sincerity. Shen Yuan couldn’t figure out the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm him: too much, too fast, how could he know which was coming to him through their connection and which was born in the depths of Shen Yuan’s own soul?..

Liu Qingge kept talking.

“I realised back in Huayue, when I saw you… on the rooftop. Spent years regretting that I hadn’t done anything back then, hadn’t said anything, had been too afraid of myself until it became too late. When I found out you were alive, I promised myself I’d confess – but by that time you’d already made your choice, so I… didn’t want to impose.”

“If only I knew I had a choice,” Shen Yuan whispered, unexpectedly even to himself. Liu Qingge smiled awkwardly.

“You heard the succubus’ prophecy. Younger than you, bad first meeting, saved each other’s lives.”

“Unrivalled beauty and talent,” Shen Yuan continued laughingly, “head over hills for me…”

Liu Qingge blushed.

“Back then I wasn’t ready…”

“And what if you were?” Shen Yuan pulled Liu Qingge by the hand, helping him sit in Shen Yuan’s lap, then pressed him close. “Would you still suggest we fight to blow off steam? Or would you act bolder than that?”

“I wouldn’t!..” Liu Qingge clutched at Shen Yuan’s shoulders, shook his head in indignation. “Shen Qingqiu, I swear, you’ll always have a choice. I’d rather die than… force you.”

Shen Yuan didn’t know how to reply to this confession, so he silently pressed a chaste kiss to Liu Qingge’s cheek. Liu Qingge slowly turned his head, so that Shen Yuan’s lips slid down the high cheekbone.

“You’re safe with me,” Liu Qingge whispered, not attempting to move. Giving Shen Yuan a choice.

“Shidi needn’t say something so obvious out loud,” Shen Yuan whispered in response and stopped all possible protests with a kiss.

Liu Qingge stayed at Qingjing until midday. At first he wanted to leave at dawn, but Shen Yuan held up his lover with kisses and gentle pleas. They were rolling in bed, laughing at some nonsense, hand-feeding each other slices of fruits, Shen Yuan applied healing ointment on Liu Qingge’s lip because the wound still refused to heal, poked Liu Qingge’s mole time after time, tenderly bit Liu Qingge’s earlobe, then, cuddling in post-orgasmic bliss, Shen Yuan had an idea to brush Liu Qingge’s hair, which he immediately acted upon: he didn’t have to delay it, didn’t have to wait for the right moment, they had time…

Not enough time.

Liu Qingge left – jumped over the wall to avoid being seen by Qingjing peak adepts, – and Shen Yuan stayed at the window. His mood was ruined. At first the spy games had been funny and exhilarating, but now Shen Yuan found them bothersome. The need to hide from everyone was depressing. Now Shen Yuan could understand why Binghe was so insistent on public displays of affection: Shen Yuan himself was almost ready to take Liu Qingge’s hand in front of other people, to call Liu Qingge his… not husband, perhaps, but companion. But he still had to lie for a while, to fake his love for the man Shen Yuan didn’t want, to hide his feelings and wait for the right moment.

And to make sure “the right moment” didn’t come too soon.

Binghe needed to recover a bit, to stop clutching at Shen Yuan with all the fervour of an abandoned child, to find his place in the world, to feel he wasn’t alone. And until then Binghe couldn’t find out about the adultery. So Shen Yuan acted like usual, gave lessons, sorted out documents, waved off Ning Yingying’s questions and carefully avoided any thoughts of flying to Baizhan – it’d take him less than half an hour.

Thankfully, Ming Fan became Shen Yuan’s support: he eagerly fulfilled every order, covered for Shen Yuan in front of other disciples, even agreed to go to Baizhan to deliver a note to Liu Qingge – allegedly a report on the damage done to Qingjing peak, which still hadn’t been reimbursed. In reality that was a sappy love letter with poetry and the unfinished portrait: it was too dangerous to keep. For the first time Shen Yuan felt happy about Ming Fan sneaking off to Baizhan at every opportunity: now his visit wouldn’t seem suspicious. And later… perhaps at least one of Shen Yuan’s disciples wouldn’t judge him for cheating on his husband.

Binghe came back a bit earlier than Shen Yuan had expected: either he’d quickly finished the task, or he’d grown tired of the separation. Shen Yuan suffered through a kiss of greeting, then got soft from Binghe’s puppy eyes and patted Binghe’s head.

“Let’s go. Tell me how it went.”

“Shizun, let this disciple change his clothes first.”

Binghe smiled coyly, as if planning something, and Shen Yuan didn’t argue. Binghe beamed and ran off – to the shed, for whatever reason. He finished quickly, Shen Yuan barely had the time to examine the house and make sure there were no traces of Liu Qingge’s presence in the rooms.

“This disciple is ready to report, shizun.”

Binghe rushed into the room again, now dressed in the white Qingjing peak clothes. Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow.

“Your status allows you to wear teal-coloured clothing…”

“But shizun,” Binghe whined, “don’t you remember how this disciple used to report to you when he was younger, we talked, flirted…”

“That never happened,” Shen Yuan snapped, breaking into a cold sweat. “I don’t abuse my disciples!”

“What about…”

“Luo Binghe,” Shen Yuan said insistently, “this old man has never had any indecent intentions towards naïve adolescents. We got together when you were twenty six. Even if you’ve imagined something before that – don’t blame me or accuse me of anything!”

Luo Binghe’s expression faltered.

“Has shizun never wanted to go back to those days?”

“I did want that,” Shen Yuan admitted honestly. Back then, before the Abyss, everything had been easier: Shen Yuan had had no idea his cute white sheep was hatching indecent plans, had genuinely believed Binghe to be a stallion protagonist and shipped him with Liu Mingyan. Binghe, still young and inexperienced, wouldn’t have dared to harass his teacher, so if Shen Yuan had wanted to take a lover, Binghe would’ve had to resign and accept Shen Yuan’s choice. Had Shen Yuan a chance to go back to the past, he’d do a lot of things differently, but… “But in this world this isn’t possible.”

“We could just pretend…”

Binghe, no! Your old master hadn’t advanced enough to unlock roleplay!

Although… If, say, Liu Qingge remembered his suggestion of playing an evil vampire and his hypnotised victim…

Shen Yuan felt his lips stretch into a smile and immediately opened his fan. Binghe beamed.

“This disciple will do everything!”

Wait a moment! Do what? What did Binghe imagine again while Shen Yuan was distracted?!

However, it soon became clear Shen Yuan was unfair to his husband: Binghe reported on the work done, gave Shen Yuan a list of the gathered gifts with a bow, then ran to the kitchen to cook. Shen Yuan shook his head affectionately: Binghe could be incredibly efficient when he wanted. Lately he’d refused to show this side of himself, preferring to play the part of a hapless maiden with a glass heart, but Shen Yuan remembered it was just an act. Why did Binghe… did he enjoy pretending to be someone helpless and inept?

“Shizun, did someone cook in my absense?” Binghe stood in the doorway, frowning unhappily. Shen Yuan perked up.

“Ah, right… I decided to try my hand at it after all. And you know what? The fish was perfectly edible! Not as tasty as yours, of course…” Shen Yuan paused, noticing his husband was turning glum. “Binghe, is something the matter?”

“I asked shizun,” Binghe said through clenched teeth, “not to think of such trifles. As long as I’m here…”

“But you weren’t here,” Shen Yuan said as softly as he could, “and…”

“I’ll finish this fuss with the apology soon, and we’ll leave to the demonic lands again,” Binghe interrupted. “We won’t have to separate there. I’ll manage everything. So don’t bother, shizun, leave the work to me.”

Shen Yuan shuddered internally. His plans to delay the breakup would have to be amended: he couldn’t let the situation go this far. Not even because of Liu Qingge, but for Binghe’s own sake: for them to withdraw into their own little world, to separate Binghe from everyone after all the work they’d done?.. This couldn’t possibly help Binghe, nor Shen Yuan.

“I thought Binghe missed Qingjing peak,” Shen Yuan said softly, “but you’re so eager to leave.”

“I…” Binghe hesitated. “Fine, we’ll stay for a bit longer, but I’ll be the only one to cook!”

“Why?” Shen Yuan couldn’t hold back anymore. “What’s wrong with me mastering this skill? Perhaps I want to do something for you as well! Last time we didn’t even spend any time together, you did everything on your own, but I don’t want to be a burden!”

“Shizun isn’t a burden!” Binghe said indignantly. “But how can shizun cook for a disciple… Shizun, are you really doing it just for me?..”

Not just for him. Shen Yuan felt offended, he wanted to prove his worth, wanted to spend more time with Liu Qingge… but he couldn’t name any of those reasons.

“Whom else?”

Binghe beamed again, came close, bit Shen Yuan’s lip and ran to the kitchen.

“Shizun, I’ll do everything, everything!..” he yelled, then slammed the door shut. Shen Yuan stayed, blinking in bafflement and internally grumbling that Binghe still hadn’t learnt to kiss after more than a year of practice. And Shen Yuan had even tried to give pointers!.. But Binghe had nitpicked every word, demanded more details, making Shen Yuan feel embarrassed, and in the end Binghe had done whatever he wanted, excusing himself with “Shizun, I can’t be expected to control myself in such moments.”

The dinner was obviously delicious beyond belief. Shen Yuan would miss those culinary miracles after the breakup… he’d also miss Binghe’s beaming smile, their rare, but precious mutual understanding, the awkward attempts to serve and to please him… His heart clenched. For a moment Shen Yuan even doubted his decision: to ruin a happy marriage because of a fling, a surge of hormones that may not even last that long?..

“Shizun isn’t paying any attention to this disciple,” Binghe remarked sourly, and Shen Yuan immediately remembered it wasn’t just about his new fling. “Is something not to shizun’s liking? Should this disciple prepare something else?”

That again. After the Maigu Ridge Shen Yuan had clearly understood Luo Binghe’s psyche was very vulnerable, and his heart might be broken by an indifferent gaze, so he tried to pay as much attention to his husband as he could, but… why did Shen Yuan always have to play the part of a nanny, to apologise in response to any comment, to constantly make concessions, to indulge Binghe’s whims? He hadn’t asked for this. He hadn’t even wanted this – Binghe had dragged him into the relationship by force, refusing to hear a “no”, until Shen Yuan had broken under the weight of his guilt.

The thought stunned Shen Yuan so much he froze over his plate. Was he… What was he?..

“Shizun?” Binghe circled the table and was now sitting in front of Shen Yuan, worriedly gazing into his eyes. “Shizun, are you unwell?”

“I…” Shen Yuan rasped, not knowing what to say. “I…”

I’ve never loved you. Not the way you want me to. Not like I’d love a husband, not like I’d love a man.

Heavens, why had it taken Shen Yuan so much time to realise?

And yet he had no more doubts. His mind was flooded by bright light. He remembered his philosophy class at the university, where an ancient professor had told them about the image of people living in a cave, only seeing the shadows on the wall. Now Shen Yuan felt like one of those people, who’d walked into the sunlight for the very first time in his life.

“I’m not hungry. Go prepare a hot tub,” Shen Yuan ordered, his voice sounding strange even to his own ears. Surprisingly, Binghe didn’t argue and ran off, not even cleaning the table. However, right now Shen Yuan couldn’t be bothered by the dirty dishes.

He didn’t love Luo Binghe. He didn’t love Luo Binghe!

To think that it was so easy! Shen Yuan had felt defective, unable to love his husband with the passion and dedication Binghe deserved. He couldn’t force himself to hold Binghe’s hand in public, to praise him, he barely managed to initiate anything in the bedroom… because he didn’t want to. Didn’t want the bites, the pain, the embrace, didn’t want to sleep in the same bed, didn’t want to marry. Binghe manipulated him, pushing him to the decision he wanted Shen Yuan to make, and Shen Yuan had almost managed to convince himself that he was happy, content, that it was his own choice.

It had taken surprisingly little to destroy the illusion. Some fear for his close person, some time away from Binghe, a relationship with someone else – an understanding that love could be different: pleasant, mutual, without coercion.

No wonder Binghe had kept Shen Yuan to himself so zealously! He must have been afraid of Shen Yuan realising it the moment he was left alone!

“Shizun, it’s ready! Shall I help you with the bath?”

“No need.” Shen Yuan shuddered, distracted from his thoughts. “Clean everything up here.”

The last thing Shen Yuan wanted right now was for Binghe to touch him.

The hot water tub was already waiting in the middle of the room, with washcloth and oil bottles nearby. Binghe took care of everything. Shen Yuan started slowly undoing his belt, but his thoughts were far away.

He was probably judging his husband too harshly. Binghe had spent his life believing himself unworthy, afraid no one would love him, no one would choose him willingly, so he had to resort to such methods. Shen Yuan needed to softly convince Binghe that the world wasn’t that cruel and unwelcoming, that Binghe would easily win other people’s affection and love should he try to.

Shen Yuan would still have to break Binghe’s heart – for the last time. But there was no choice: Shen Yuan couldn’t continue this charade.

Good thing they hadn’t made any sort of official engagement. There were many artifacts and wedding rituals in the world of “Proud Immortal Demon Way”, some of them tying the spouses to each other for eternity, but Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe had just bowed thrice, without witnesses or a grand celebration – so now there wasn’t supposed to be any problem with the “divorce”.

Shen Yuan stayed in the tub as long as he could, using all the oils, carefully combing his hair – the way he rarely indulged in, as normally he wasn’t patient enough to pat the hair dry with a towel, to go from the ends to the roots, to comb each strand several times. But now Shen Yuan wanted to delay his return to the rooms he shared with Binghe – especially to the bedroom.

Surprisingly, Binghe didn’t try to break in to ask whether his precious shizun was all right and whether he needed assistance. But the water was turning cold, and Shen Yuan put on his nightrobe with a sigh.

Perhaps Binghe was tired enough after his travels to agree to simply sleep?..

Binghe was already waiting for Shen Yuan in the doorway – beaming and unreasonably energetic.

“Shizun, what’s with the sheets?.. Are those new? Are they for us?”

“Whom else?” Shen Yuan replied with fake indifference, happy he didn’t have to invent an explanation: Binghe was perfectly capable of coming up with one on his own.

“Shizun, I…” Binghe suddenly grabbed Shen Yuan’s palm, kissed his fingers, painfully bit the knuckle and bowed. “I’ll be quick!”

Shen Yuan looked at him in bafflement: where was Binghe going, why was he acting so weird?.. But the splash of water cleared Shen Yuan’s doubts and answered his questions: Binghe ran off to bathe. Right, he’d just came back, he was probably dying to get cleaned up. Having recovered his peace of mind, Shen Yuan approached the bed – carefully, as if it could be hiding one of Zhuzhi-lang’s snakes.

They’d just sleep together. Shen Yuan wouldn’t let Binghe touch him… he’d come up with an excuse. He’d say he was tired, sleepy, still angry about the last time – whatever! Binghe wouldn’t dare to force him. Binghe always… almost always begged for permission before getting on with it. If Shen Yuan’s “no” was firm enough…

What if Shen Yuan’s “no” was firm enough, but Binghe still wouldn’t listen? Should Shen Yuan grab his sword again? Call for help? Close his eyes and imagine Liu Qingge? Or wait for Liu Qingge to sense something amiss and rush to help?

The thought that Shen Yuan had only recently made love in this very same bed seemed wild. Shen Yuan had always been scared of sex – no wonder, since it was with someone Shen Yuan didn’t love! Come to think of it, he’d only tried to show initiative once – after the long dream in which Shen Yuan had observed Binghe’s suffering, wallowing in guilt.

“Shizun, I’m ready!” Binghe’s cheerful voice pulled Shen Yuan out of his musings. Shen Yuan shuddered, turned around and tried to fake a smile.

“That was quick.”

“This disciple wouldn’t make shizun wait!” Binghe assured him. “Shizun seems contemplative… is this disciple right to think shizun wants something special tonight?”

“Special? You could say that,” Shen Yuan drawled and went silent. How should he say it to avoid upsetting Binghe?

“This disciple agrees!” Binghe beamed and stepped towards him. Shen Yuan pressed his palm to Binghe’s chest.

“You don’t even know what I want to ask for!”

“I don’t know because shizun isn’t saying anything!” Binghe retorted. “Or is it a surprise?”

“A surprise, yes.” Shen Yuan gladly grasped at the excuse. “So sit on the bed and stay still.”

Binghe obeyed, albeit after a short hesitation. After a pause Shen Yuan took a comb and hair oil, sat next to Binghe and touched the slightly wet curly strands.

“Did you use a talisman to dry your hair?”

“I was in a hurry,” Binghe replied, not embarrassed in the slightest. Shen Yuan shook his head.

“You’re not twelve! You should understand how dangerous this is! And bad for your hair. Let me help you…”

Shen Yuan slowly used the comb to untangle the knots. Binghe quickly started to fidget, and Shen Yuan hit the top of Binghe’s head with a fan.

“Stay still!”

“Yes, shizun.”

Binghe actually obeyed. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure to what he owed the complacency, but internally sighed in relief. Binghe didn’t seem to be inclined to argue.

No matter how Shen Yuan tried to stall, the moment when Binghe’s hair was properly combed and oiled came criminally quickly. Shen Yuan put the comb aside and patted Binghe’s head.

“That’s it.”

“Thank you, shizun.” Binghe turned around and smiled coyly. “Does shizun want anything else from this disciple?”

“Yes, I… I…” Shen Yuan took a deep breath, cursing himself for the hesitation. “Binghe, I want… tonight… I just want to sleep!”

“Oh.” Binghe blinked a few times. “Is shizun… certain this is what he wants?”

“I’m certain.”

“Really? Because if shizun wishes for something else…”

“Go to sleep, Binghe,” Shen Yuan ordered exhaustedly. Contrary to his worries, Binghe immediately jumped on the bed and raised the corner of the blanket.

“You too, shizun.”

Shen Yuan extinguished the lamp, reached the edge of the bed, sat down, feeling a hot palm squeeze his thigh.

“Binghe, no. Not today.”

“Shizun… are you…”

“I don’t want to.”

Binghe immediately removed his hand.

“Of course. If shizun doesn’t want, this disciple won’t force him.”

Shen Yuan thought he’d misheard something. He turned his head in disbelief, trying and failing to see his husband’s expression in the dark.

“Really?..”

“Naturally. If shizun wishes for something, he can say it, and this disciple will fulfil shizun’s every whim. But if shizun wants for nothing…”

“Shizun wants to sleep,” Shen Yuan interrupted with relief and gratitude. Binghe sighed and pulled him close.

“Good night, shizun.”

Binghe’s breath had long turned even, but Shen Yuan was still unable to fall asleep, baffled and perplexed. A year of relationship had taught him that Binghe didn’t care for his refusal, Binghe would use tears and manipulations to get what he wanted, Binghe wouldn’t give Shen Yuan any chance to say no. Binghe had only been so understanding in the first few days after the Maigu Ridge. Back then he’d also refused to touch Shen Yuan without permission, had acted like an unjustly offended victim, leaving Shen Yuan tormented by guilt and uncertainty.

Perhaps now Binghe also hoped for Shen Yuan to feel guilty? Damn it, why did it have to be so complicated?.. Liu Qingge always said clearly what was on his mind, and Shen Yuan could feel his emotions, could know he hadn’t hurt his lover with a careless word or gesture. There was no place for deception and pretence in their relationship. Why couldn’t Binghe be the same, why did he have to get what he wanted at all cost, to pressure Shen Yuan, to avoid any chance of refusal? Even now, when Binghe was acting gentlemanly, Shen Yuan was looking for a catch, unable to calm down.

He woke up tired and sleep-deprived. Binghe must have quickly understood it and didn’t try to really harass Shen Yuan, only groped Shen Yuan’s ass a few times – and quickly removed his hand after the first decisive “not today, Binghe.”

“When?..”

“I have a headache,” Shen Yuan said, dying from the cringe. He’d almost turned into a stereotypical wife, nagging at his husband, cheating on him and refusing sex under a stupid pretext! “You know, it’s hard to want for anything when you’re unwell.”

“Let me call Mu Qingfang!” Binghe perked up. Shen Yuan slapped him on the forehead with a fan.

“First of all, call him Mu-shishu! Second of all, who are you to give him orders? Let me remind you that you’re disgraced, forbidden to enter half the peaks! Mu-shidi hasn’t even properly forgiven you! Third of all, no, we won’t bother the Qiancao peak lord because of my headache. Go brew some tea, then deliver the gifts. If – if! – Mu-shidi deigns to accept, you may very politely ask him for an advice.”

“And you?.. Aren’t you coming with me, shizun?”

“If I come with you, everyone will believe you’re only apologising because I told you to, not because you chose to.”

Binghe pouted and mumbled something unhappily. Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Obeying shizun,” Binghe grumbled and left the room. He must be offended… But this time Shen Yuan had no intention of surrendering to his guilt. He had no right to. What a strange irony: Shen Yuan was hurting his husband’s feelings to avoid physically hurting his lover… and himself, but Shen Yuan wasn’t worried about himself.

Binghe came back in a few hours, less unhappy.

“Shizun, Mu… shishu gave me a bag of herbs to put under your pillow and told me to let you sleep. Then you’ll recover!”

“Did he accept the gifts?”

“Yes, he said that Qiancao peak forgave the offense and would now treat me like any other Qingjing adept.”

Shen Yuan beamed and clutched Binghe in his arms.

“Good boy! See, I told you, told you!..”

“Shizun was right.” Shen Yuan’s joy must have been infectious, for Binghe also pulled Shen Yuan close. “This disciple shouldn’t have doubted shizun’s wisdom.”

“We have a long road ahead of us, but it is already paved,” Shen Yuan concluded. He secretly hoped the road wouldn’t be quite as long: perhaps other peak lords, inspired by Mu Qingfang’s example and bribed by generous gifts, would also meet Binghe half-way.

And the sooner Binghe felt like a part of Cangqiong again, the sooner Shen Yuan could break up with him.

Binghe exhaled hotly and bit Shen Yuan’s ear lobe. Shen Yuan pushed him away without any fervour.

“What are you doing, silly child? You know I’m still unwell. Give your old teacher some time to recover.”

“Yes, shizun.”

Binghe raised Shen Yuan in a bridal carry and all but ran to the bedroom. Surprised, Shen Yuan clutched his shoulder harder than he’d wanted to.

“Let go! Binghe, let go of me!”

Binghe stopped with a jerk and hastily put Shen Yuan down. Unable to keep his balance, Shen Yuan painfully hit his leg on the corner of a table and gasped.

“Sorry, shizun.” Binghe’s eyes immediately filled with tears. “This unworthy disciple…”

“Enough!” Shen Yuan waved his sleeve in a panic. “Don’t cry. I’m fine, nothing bad happened.”

“I hurt shizun again,” Binghe mumbled; Shen Yuan had to lean on his aching leg and come close to hear what Binghe was saying. “I ruin everything.”

“You’re not ruining anything. Come now. I’m not crying, so why are you crying?”

Binghe kept sobbing. Shen Yuan sighed.

“Binghe, it’s… hard for me to walk. Could you help me get to the bedroom?”

Binghe’s tears disappeared without a trace. He picked Shen Yuan up again, more carefully this time, carried him to the bedroom, put him on the bed, took Shen Yuan’s shoe and sock off his foot, then started massaging the injured limb. He wasn’t good at it, Shen Yuan had to clench his teeth and try not to gasp in pain whenever Binghe pressed at the wrong spot again.

Finally Binghe finished with the massage, but he didn’t release Shen Yuan’s foot, tenderly caressing his toes. Shen Yuan suddenly remembered Liu Qingge going down on one knee during his dramatic declaration of love, and felt warmth in his chest.

“Shizun…” Binghe was looking at Shen Yuan yearningly, and it wasn’t hard to guess what he wanted.

“I have a headache,” Shen Yuan reminded Binghe and himself. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Binghe helped Shen Yuan lie down and put the bag of herbs under his pillow. “Get some rest, shizun. We’ll make up for the lost time later.”

Shen Yuan quietly hoped that “later” would never come.

The next few days went so well Shen Yuan started doubting his sanity. Binghe still didn’t try to insist on fulfilling their marital duties, removed his hands after the first sharp refusal and didn’t even torment Shen Yuan with tears and fake suffering. On the contrary, he suddenly turned his attention elsewhere, opting to improve his relationship with Anding and Zuixian, spending all his time away. Shen Yuan waited for the other shoe to drop. Could it be that Binghe had found someone? A friend he wanted to spend time with? Or… not a friend at all? If Binghe got interested in someone else, Shen Yuan would bless his new marriage, but that was a stroke of luck Shen Yuan was too afraid to hope for.

An invitation to a new peak lords meeting distracted Shen Yuan from wondering what was going on with his husband. Strange: why was Yue Qingyuan gathering his martial siblings again so soon? It hadn’t been that long since their last meeting. Had something happened? The worry didn’t even let Shen Yuan fully enjoy the anticipation of seeing his lover again. He’d hardly get a chance to spend time together with Liu Qingge, but to see him at least…

Binghe personally accompanied Shen Yuan to Qiongding, even reminded him of the meeting in advance, lest Shen Yuan came late. They entered the meeting hall side by side, Binghe politely bowed to Yue Qingyuan and Wei Qingwei – the others hadn’t arrived yet, – helped Shen Yuan assume a comfortable position, even pulled a tray of snacks out of nowhere, then promised to wait outside. Shen Yuan’s mood plummeted: he’d hardly find a chance to stay late and steal a moment with Liu Qingge under Binghe’s watchful eye.

The other peak lords entered the hall in succession, sat down in their usual spots, smiled at each other, greeted those already present, ate melon seeds or immediately started discussing news. Shang Qinghua winked at Shen Yuan for some reason, gave him a thumbs up and giggled – was he hinting at something? But what? Shen Yuan didn’t even want to think about it.

Finally everyone gathered, and Yue Qingyuan coughed. The conversation immediately stopped.

“Brothers and sisters, I understand we’ve had a meeting just recently, but there’s something we have to discuss. You all know that Luo Binghe chose to improve his relationship with Cangqiong sect and has apologised to everyone present. In the course of our meetings we’ve made an agreement regarding the compensation for the damage caused by Huanhua palace and Luo Binghe personally – an agreement very profitable for our sect. That is why…”

Shen Yuan listened, feeling his eyes turn glassy. Not that he couldn’t understand the importance of the topic: in short, Yue Qingyuan was discussing a redistribution of influence between the four great sects. Huanhua palace willingly surrendered a large portion of their territory that Cangqiong would accept under its wing, which led to a change in patrols and trade routes, an increased amount of adepts, installation of new shield arrays… But the longer Yue Qingyuan went, the harder it was for Shen Yuan to concentrate. He felt too hot and started fanning himself with renewed vigour. Liu Qingge’s smell, which Shen Yuan was trying to ignore, got more intense – Liu-shidi must have grown tired of the conversation and was restless with impatience. Shen Yuan glanced at him discreetly and saw Liu Qingge was blushing.

The sight was so enchanting Shen Yuan couldn’t tear his eyes away. He watched a drop of sweat slide down Liu Qingge’s temple and was dying of desire to press his lips to Liu Qingge’s pale skin, to remove the extra layers of clothing, to unwrap Liu Qingge like a beautifully packaged gift, then to lick every sweet spot on Liu Qingge’s body, to claim him, to move inside of him, making Liu Qingge shudder with every thrust, to fill him with seed, lick him clean and repeat…

Shen Yuan’s head was empty, and he couldn’t notice anything around, lost in the feeling of Liu Qingge’s skin under his fingers, Liu Qingge’s moans on his lips, Liu Qingge’s hands in his hair. Liu Qingge still had too many clothes on; Shen Yuan tried to untie his belt without taking his lips off Liu Qingge’s neck, but that just made the situation worse. Eventually Liu Qingge’s clothes opened on the chest, barely hanging off his shoulders and belt, which looked incredibly seductive. If Shen Yuan weren’t so aroused, he’d definitely grab a brush and paints to draw Liu-shidi “like one of those French girls”. Still, they’d have time. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but imagine Liu Qingge after Shen Yuan was done with him: sweaty, exhausted and content, with spread legs and bite marks on his neck. Shen Yuan was unable to suppress a moan – not that he tried.

Someone’s palm pressed to Shen Yuan’s back, making him shudder from the sudden cold. His head cleared a bit: someone was passing him qi. Weren’t him and Liu Qingge alone?.. Shen Yuan frowned perplexedly, but for some reason it was hard to think. Liu Qingge, lying under him and shivering in excitement, wouldn’t let Shen Yuan divert his attention. Shen Yuan hovered over him, covering Liu Qingge’s body with his own, as if trying to protect him from the cold, then winced again from the onslaught of icy qi.

“…shidi? Qingqiu?”

Yue Qingyuan! How long had he been standing there, trying to reach Shen Yuan, who’d lost his mind?! The realisation that the sect leader saw him and Liu Qingge helped Shen Yuan sober up a bit: he hated public displays of affection, and he definitely didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Yue Qingyuan. The feeling was akin to the shame Shen Yuan had once felt when he’d accidentally opened a porn tab in front of his mom – good thing she hadn’t noticed.

“Shidi, can you hear me?” Yue Qingyuan asked tensely. “Do you… understand what is going on?”

Oh, Shen Yuan understood – as much as his clouded mind allowed. Someone had drugged him… put something into his food… cursed him… oh, “Proud Immortal Demon Way” had many methods to turn off someone’s upper brain in favour of the lower one! Shen Yuan hastily went through the names in his head, using the few moments of respite Yue Qingyuan had given him. This flower wasn’t the cause, it’d only bloom in ten years… the extract of that monster’s horns would affect everyone in the room equally… the succubi poison couldn’t block their ability to think, not so quickly…

Shen Yuan attempted to straighten his back, to pull away a bit, but Liu Qingge moaned, helplessly pawing at his sleeve. His fingers were sliding on the thick silk, as if Liu Qingge was trying and failing to grasp for a straw. Oh, he’d been affected more than Shen Yuan himself…

Shen Yuan could no longer handle it: his patience and self-control were limited. He pulled Liu Qingge up, off the table and into Shen Yuan’s lap, so that Liu Qingge could tuck his face into Shen Yuan’s neck. That calmed him down – and gave Shen Yuan a few moments to think.

“Afternoon bliss. It’s a flower, grows in…” Forgetting himself, Shen Yuan took a deep breath and choked. Liu Qingge’s smell, sweet and incredibly attractive, cloyed Shen Yuan’s nose, evaporating any thoughts out of his mind, and Shen Yuan was barely able to finish the sentence. “It’ll affect you too if you don’t take measures. But more slowly.”

Yue Qingyuan poured more ice-cold qi into Shen Yuan’s body, but it wasn’t helping. Shen Yuan could hear Yue Qingyuan say something commandingly, but didn’t even try to listen. Liu Qingge – heated, aroused, shivering under Shen Yuan’s palms – was his whole world, and there could be nothing more important than soothing him, giving him what he wanted.

“It’s all right,” Shen Yuan whispered, barely realising what he was saying. “I love you.”

Yue Qingyuan’s palm tensed, then disappeared, but Shen Yuan had no time to happily fall into oblivion: Yue Qingyuan pulled him by the shoulder, painlessly, but confidently, depriving him of any chance to resist.

“Qingqiu. Follow me.”

Shen Yuan huffed: follow to where? And why? Liu Qingge was next to him, and they had this comfortable table…

“Take Liu-shidi and go. There’s a room nearby.”

Yue Qingyuan must have poured so much qi into Shen Yuan’s body it temporarily blocked the flower’s influence. Shen Yuan stood up in his dream-like state, allowed Yue Qingyuan to lead him somewhere. Liu Qingge, who hadn’t received any spiritual energy influx, clearly didn’t realise what was going on, but he managed to move his feet – although Shen Yuan was perfectly willing to carry him to bed. Not bridal-carry, of course, Shen Yuan couldn’t control his qi right now, and he didn’t have enough muscle to be able to carry an adult man – but he could throw Liu Qingge over his shoulder…

Yue Qingyuan pushed Shen Yuan into… a space. Shen Yuan didn’t have the time to look around: Yue Qingyuan removed his hand, breaking the flow of qi, and Shen Yuan lost the clarity of thoughts. All that remained was Liu Qingge and the nearest horizontal surface, where Shen Yuan gladly spread him.

The rest could wait.

Shen Yuan had no idea how long they’d spent in the room. He fell into a sweet oblivion, lost in Liu Qingge’s smell, entangled in Liu Qingge’s hair, melting into Liu Qingge’s skin to stay together, to turn into one, to feel each other from the outside and from the inside, to have their thoughts intertwined. Only the fear to hurt, to take too much pulled Shen Yuan out of the bliss, but those short bursts of fear quickly quietened down, suppressed by the too-vivid pleasure.

However, the pleasure was slowly subsiding, like a sea during low tide. Shen Yuan started feeling hot, chafed, thirsty and uncomfortable. It was barely noticeable at first, but grew stronger with time. He wanted to stand up, to find a distraction, to drink cold water with lemon, to open the window, to take a walk… but Shen Yuan couldn’t afford the latter. Liu Qingge still hadn’t recovered: he must have been too close to the source and inhaled too much of the Afternoon bliss vapor. The aphrodisiac was extremely potent – and rare. Shen Yuan couldn’t even imagine who’d found the terribly expensive plant and poisoned them – and definitely couldn’t imagine why.

But the effect of the aphrodisiac was slowly fading away. Shen Yuan had already recovered enough to take care of Liu Qingge: to give him water, holding the back of his head, to clean him with a wet washcloth, to pass him qi, to press the acupoints, to soothe him. Thankfully, Liu Qingge didn’t resist, obediently agreeing to everything, which was starting to scare Shen Yuan.

Unlike many other sex-devices of this world, Afternoon bliss didn’t just block one’s ability to think, forcing the victim to look for the nearest warm body. No, it was more complicated: the one fallen under the flower’s spell obeyed their wishes. They merely forgot everything else: the world around them ceased to exist, narrowing down to one person. Even if a second Maigu Ridge was falling down next to Shen Yuan, he wouldn’t notice, absolved in Liu Qingge. It’d been just bad luck that both of them had happened to be in the same room…

They’d been lucky that Yue Qingyuan had been present, and Shen Yuan was fond of him – enough to hear Yue Qingyuan’s voice even in his state. And there had been Mu Qingfang – who must have quickly realised what had been going on and how to treat it. The other peak lords hadn’t dived head-first into a new relationship recently and hadn’t spent a week away from the object of their affection. If not for that, Shen Yuan would have hardly fallen so fast. Just half a year ago he’d have been able to control himself, to understand the circumstances, to explain it to everyone present and to quickly take measures. The effect of the flower could be suppressed with acupuncture and meditations – but only if it was noticed in time.

But why had someone… Had some political rivals wanted to disable Cangqiong in such an original manner? Afternoon bliss had no distinct smell, it was hard to notice immediately… Had Yue Qingyuan lingered, had the others inhaled it as well, it could have ended up as a full-blown orgy, at least a few days long.

The prospect made Shen Yuan shudder, and Liu Qingge, still sleeping, pulled him close, mumbled something into his neck, caressing his back. Shen Yuan’s answering smile was tender and helpless: even in his drugged stupor Liu Qingge’s first reaction was to protect and help.

The next moment Shen Yuan almost fell off the bed.

They’d almost fucked in front of the other peak lords! They’d even started to… good thing they hadn’t finished taking their clothes off! Heavens bless Yue Qingyuan and his composure! Shen Yuan had almost had his worst nightmare come true. He was terrified of the idea that others would discuss his private life – but the recent show him and Liu Qingge had put on brought “Resentment of Chunshan” to shame! Yes, Shen Yuan had been poisoned, not knowing what he had been doing, – but would the others understand? And how was Shen Yuan supposed to look them in the eyes now?

Shen Yuan uttered a broken sigh, filled his lungs with Liu Qingge’s smell and suddenly calmed down. There was no point in thinking of the past: what was done was done. Anyway, he had to look at the bright side: now he didn’t have to wonder how to tell people of his relationship with Liu Qingge. They’d already notified everyone in a way that had been hard to miss… Shen Yuan hoped his martial siblings would stay quiet: if rumours spread around, it’d bring a lot of trouble.

The next morning brought Shen Yuan good news: Liu Qingge had already started coming back to his senses. Shen Yuan passed him qi, covered him with a warm blanket and pulled him close, absent-mindedly combing Liu Qingge’s hair with his fingers. He wished he could have a bath… hot, almost scalding water with healing herbs. Alas, for now it was an unattainable dream: Yue Qingyuan had clearly instructed not to bother his guests until they recovered, no one had even knocked on the door once.

Liu Qingge seemed to be asleep, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but wonder: Afternoon bliss was supposed to suffuse the victim with energy, how come Liu Qingge woke up rarely and for brief amounts of time, only for the sake of having another round of sex? Was he so exhausted his body and mind demanded rest, and the effect of the flower merely forced Liu Qingge to follow his suppressed wish? But Liu Qingge hadn’t mentioned any complicated hunts lately… or had his fatigue originated from the distant past? Liu-shidi did have a tendency to drive himself to the brink and past it, only his high level of cultivation and vast experience allowed him to drive his body to do the impossible. Even back when he’d fallen into a qi deviation, it was due to him not having rested properly, not having recovered from a wound he’d gotten on a hunt, yet having gone to practice in the Lingxi caves despite all that.

Well, Shen Yuan concluded, in that case let Liu Qingge finally get some sleep: it’d do him no harm, but a lot of good. Later Shen Yuan would personally see to it that this unruly shidi of his wouldn’t torment himself again… lock him in a room and tie him to bed, if needed be. Liu Qingge had asked for a roleplay of a vampire and his obedient victim? Well, Shen Yuan would do just that! Kidnap Liu Qingge, carry him to a remote house, so that Liu Qingge spent his days in peace and quiet. Only sleep, sex and breaks for food and bathing.

Shen Yuan’s groin became pleasantly heavy, and he internally cursed the unknown enemy whose scheme had led to a sex marathon. Although… it might not have been the aphrodisiac, but the affection talking. At least, Shen Yuan felt he could suppress his arousal, which was convenient: Liu Qingge hadn’t awoken yet, and Shen Yuan had no intention of sating his needs with a sleeping body. He wanted to see a response, wanted to feel Liu Qingge enjoying their games.

To distract himself, Shen Yuan stood up, approached a low table and dejectedly looked at an empty jug. Of course, normally servants would bring the sect leader’s guests new food and drinks every day, but now… Shen Yuan glanced at the wall, then dumbly stared at a signalling array. If he poured some qi into it, someone was bound to hear and come – to fulfil the guest’s request. He could use that.

The moment Shen Yuan’s finger left the surface of the array, there was a knock on the door, as if a well-schooled servant was sitting next to it, ready to come at a whistle. Shen Yuan looked around, covered Liu Qingge with another blanket, straightened his own clothes, put his robe on and approached the door.

“Qingqiu, do you feel better?”

Yue Qingyuan was standing in the door frame, smiling politely and showing no traces of embarrassment or displeasure. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but feel grateful: it was easier to pretend nothing had happened than to discuss the recent events.

“Thank you, sect leader. I think I’ve fully recovered, although Liu-shidi is still… as I understand, he’d gotten a large dose of poison.”

“Is he all right? Can you handle it?”

Shen Yuan had an impression that if he asked, the sect leader would provide him with anything necessary, from a six-month leave to a full range of sex toys for Shen Yuan to “assist” Liu Qingge. Naturally, Shen Yuan didn’t intend to abuse the unexpected goodwill: he’d burn in shame if Yue Qingyuan personally brought him aphrodisiacs or dildos! Even if it was purely for medical purposes.

“I’m fine, thank you. To be honest, I merely wanted to ask for water. I didn’t expect shixiong to…”

“Mu-shidi found a tisane that’s supposed to help you get rid of the poison remaining in your body.” Yue Qingyuan pretended not to notice the awkward pause. “If shidi doesn’t mind…”

“Mu-shidi is very thoughtful,” Shen Yuan agreed in relief. “I’ll be happy to use his help.”

“Then have some rest. I’ll bring everything.”

“Shixiong, you don’t have to do it yourself…”

“No one knows what happened at the meeting.” Yue Qingyuan’s gaze was surprisingly sharp. “I’d rather it stayed that way… at least until we discuss the situation.”

Shen Yuan had no choice but to bow.

“Obeying sect leader.”

The tisane did make him feel better. Liu Qingge only woke up in the evening, so Shen Yuan used the occasion to give him the drink and convince him to eat a little – purely healthy stuff, Yue Qingyuan hadn’t allowed for anything else.

The tisane was so potent that by the next midday Liu Qingge more or less recovered. Shen Yuan felt quietly happy: his shidi’s condition was beginning to scare him. Shen Yuan was used to Liu Qingge always being collected, used to the fact that the mask of a passionless warrior was hiding a tightly coiled spring of energy and a willingness to jump into a fight at any moment. Seeing Liu Qingge relaxed, sleepy and sluggish was… uncomfortable.

They spent the rest of the day cleaning up, bathing – Yue Qingyuan used some secret pathway to bring them into another pavilion, with a hot water tub, hair oils and everything necessary already waiting for them there. The water smelled like medicine; Liu Qingge scrunched his nose, but didn’t argue when Shen Yuan pulled him by the hand. The tub was too small for two, but Shen Yuan had recovered enough to understand what was going on, all the usual barriers removed by the aphrodisiac were back at their rightful places, and the embarrassment had returned in full force. So Shen Yuan’s actions were extremely modest: first he helped Liu Qingge bathe, then cleaned himself up. The knowledge that Yue Qingyuan might be waiting for them behind the wall was spurring him like a whip.

A dinner – much more substantial than before – was waiting for them after the bath, then a soft bed in another room. Yue Qingyuan left, promising to come back tomorrow to discuss everything. To Shen Yuan’s relief, Liu Qingge didn’t fall asleep the moment his head touched the pillow, but spent some time absent-mindedly leafing through a treatise on the traditions of Western lands he’d found in the room. The scene was so cozy and domestic Shen Yuan got lost in dreams: in the future they’d spend many evenings just as quietly and peacefully. Not on Qiongding, of course: on Baizhan or Qingjing.

Yue Qingyuan came to talk on the next day, just like he’d promised. He started the conversation in a roundabout way, speaking of minor sect news. The Baizhan adepts, left without their peak lord, had gotten out of control and started a few fights, a new batch of silk had been delivered to the town next to the Cangqiong base, Zhaohua temple had sent a letter asking to lend them some rare books…

“Get to business.” Liu Qingge finally lost his patience. “Enough with the… nonsense.”

Shen Yuan sighed in relief: since Liu Qingge had gone back to being rude and impatient, Shen Yuan no longer needed to worry. Either Mu Qingfang’s medicine had washed the remaining Afternoon bliss out of Liu Qingge’s body, or the effect of the flower had grown less potent on its own.

“To business.” Yue Qingyuan played with a tea cup in his palm. “What does shidi want to know?”

“Who poisoned us with this vile thing? What were they trying to achieve? How are the others?”

“The others are fine,” Yue Qingyuan replied with marked politeness. “Thankfully, Shen-shidi quickly realised what we were dealing with, and Mu-shidi helped us suppress the effect of the incense.”

“That was the incense?” Shen Yuan perked up. “I thought it was added to water or tea.”

“Incense.” Yue Qingyuan’s expression grew dark. “Liu-shidi was sitting close to the incense burner, so its influence on him was quick and strong.”

“And Shen Qingqiu…” Liu Qingge started and blushed. He spent a few moments inhaling and exhaling, then shook his head and went quiet.

“Shen-shidi, could you briefly explain the effect of this poison?” Yue Qingyuan asked softly. Shen Yuan nodded, trying to imagine he was lecturing his disciples, not explaining a hack writer’s stupid sex device to his lover.

“Afternoon bliss. According to the legends, this flower, extremely rare and expensive, only grows in an abandoned valley of one hidden realm deep in the demonic lands. It makes people forget the outside world and succumb to their desires; the stronger the desire, and the better it is suppressed, the more potent the effect. Especially if the desire is of… personal nature.” Shen Yuan coughed.

Naturally, in the book the flower had been used for the protagonist to get another tsundere wife in his bed. The wife hadn’t been ready to admit her feelings, allegedly staying faithful to her fiance, even if she’d used every chance to flirt with Bing-ge. Airplane had gathered all the cliches he could in that plot arc: Binghe had “accidentally” fallen on the girl’s chest thrice, groped her twice, ignoring the protests, admired the rain-soaked clothes clinging to the girl’s curves once, and the happy couple had argued so often Shen Yuan had grown tired of scrolling through their numerous squabbles. The flower had been necessary for the girl to stop denying her feelings, fall into Bing-ge’s bed, join the harem, and then Airplane had rightfully moved to the next plot arc.

“Right, that’s what Mu-shidi said as well.” Yue Qingyuan averted his gaze. “We’re lucky no one else had desires of… personal nature or was trying to suppress them at the time.”

“So if not for the two of us…” Liu Qingge didn’t finish.

“If not for the two of you, we may have realised it too late,” Yue Qingyuan comforted him.

“Yeah.” Shen Yuan shuddered. “The longer you’re under the flower’s influence, the more suppressed and fleeting desires come to your head. And it’s usually desires of a certain nature. This story could have easily ended in an orgy.”

“A what?”

“Uh, several people in the same… no matter.” Shen Yuan scrunched his nose. “Was this why we were poisoned? To cripple Cangqiong leadership for a few days?”

“Oh no, shidi, the goal was completely different.” Yue Qingyuan smirked grimly. “But we’ll discuss it later. As I was saying, Mu-shidi helped us suppress the effect of the poison and remove what we’ve inhaled from our bodies. I investigated, found the culprit and… spoke to him. As for the two of you… everyone who was at the meeting will stay silent, but you have to understand that sooner or later people will learn of your relationship. I can’t promise you there will be no disapproval, but no one will dare say anything to your faces.”

“I don’t care, let them say whatever they want.” Liu Qingge shrugged. “But…”

“I’ve wanted to discuss how to announce it, in any case.”

Shen Yuan tried to look independent. Judging by Yue Qingyuan’s knowing gaze and Liu Qingge’s stunned, but happy expression, he failed.

“I have an idea about that.” Yue Qingyuan suddenly pulled a fan out of his sleeve, opened and raised it to cover his face. “Huh… this is convenient. Perhaps I should follow Qingqiu’s example?”

“Shixiong!” Shen Yuan all but screamed. Yue Qingyuan laughed quietly.

“All right, all right, shidi, I won’t torment you. You see… Qi-shimei has recently found the author of “Resentment of Chunshan.”

“Great!” Shen Yuan cheered up. “Oh, just let me get my hands on this hack writer… I’ll make them pay!”

“I’ll determine the punishment myself, if shidi doesn’t mind,” Yue Qingyuan coughed, “but this is directly connected to the situation at hand. You see, Qi-shimei claims that there is no unity among those… underground authors. Some adore “Resentment of Chunshan”, but some disapprove of the… characters.”

“What are you getting at?” Liu Qingge squeezed a teacup in his palm.

“I’m trying to say, shidi, that there will be gossip either way. Why don’t we try to ride this wave and use it to our advantage? We’ll find a few… writers, let them make up something about the two of you, then spread it. Yes, there will be condemnation, but at least we’ll make sure from the very beginning that the public version isn’t too different from the truth.”

Shen Yuan froze, not knowing how to feel. On the one hand, “Resentment of Chunshan” was repulsive, if Shen Yuan had the chance, he’d burn every copy of the damn book and hit the author with a stick personally. On the other hand… Yue Qingyuan was right. “Resentment of Chunshan” had already spread among common folk, banning it was possible, but useless. But if they struck back, divert people’s attention, they could at least weaken the public disapproval.

“All right,” Shen Yuan decided, “but on the condition that we have control over the plot and… the explicitness of the work.”

“Shidi may review the samples personally and cross out whatever isn’t to his liking,” Yue Qingyuan agreed. Shen Yuan shook his head.

“If shixiong allows, I’d rather work on the plot myself. Let those… authors write in accordance with our requests.”

It was terribly tacky, of course, but they could play with the idea of “Romeo and Juliet”. Star-crossed lovers, meeting in secret, unable to follow the voice of reason and leave each other alone. Add a happy ending… or do without. Let impressionable young fools cry over the tragedy of made-up characters and leave the real Shen Yuan and Liu Qingge alone.

“If shidi wishes,” Yue Qingyuan replied with obvious surprise. Shen Yuan sighed.

“Not that I wish… but shixiong is right, it has to be done.”

“Liu-shidi?”

“Do as you wish.”

Liu Qingge was still pretending to be unaffected. Shen Yuan seriously doubted Liu-shidi really didn’t care… whatever, they could discuss it later and alone. If Liu Qingge refused to become the protagonist of bad fanfiction, Shen Yuan wouldn’t insist.

“Good.” Yue Qingyuan frowned and turned serious. “Now let’s return to your first question. The culprit.”

Shen Yuan waited for him to continue, but Yue Qingyuan slowly brought the cup to his lips, sipped his tea, covering his mouth with his sleeve, then put the empty cup on the table and stretched his hand to get the teapot…

“You haven’t found him?” Liu Qingge jumped the gun. Yue Qingyuan shook his head and looked Shen Yuan in the eyes.

“Shidi, do you remember how after the previous meeting I asked you to stop by and speak to me when you had time?”

Come to think of it, Shen Yuan did remember something like that… He lowered his head in remorse and folded his arms in front of his chest.

“Begging sect leader to forgive my bad memory. I promise not to ignore such requests again.”

“It’s fine.” Yue Qingyuan got distracted again to brew more tea. This time Liu Qingge didn’t rush him, while Shen Yuan was left wondering what could have made the sect leader so cautious. “You see… I wanted to discuss our agreements with Huanhua palace.”

“But we’ve discussed them at the meeting?”

“There was something not meant for others.”

“Did the mongrel give us the poison?” Liu Qingge asked directly. “Why would he do that?”

Shen Yuan stayed silent, completely stunned. Luo Binghe! How come Shen Yuan hadn’t remembered him once in the last few days?! Although come to think of it… Shen Yuan probably wasn’t too eager to remember, wanted a distraction from his husband, so he followed his wish under the influence of the poison. The realisation was akin to a slap in the face: Shen Yuan had genuinely believed himself to care for Luo Binghe, to love him, albeit not like a man, to worry about him…

“I haven’t even thought of his feelings,” Shen Yuan admitted regretfully. “He must have been right to get jealous over nothing and suspect me of wanting to leave him.”

“Is that why he tried to keep you by force?” Liu Qingge snapped. Shen Yuan put his palm on Liu Qingge’s elbow, silently bringing him to order; Liu Qingge frowned, pursed his lips, but sat down. Shen Yuan felt a wave of anger and, for some reason, pain through their connection.

“This is exactly what I wanted to discuss.” Yue Qingyuan politely pretended not to see anything. “You see, shidi… I set many conditions for lord Luo. One of them was an unbreakable vow.”

Lord Luo, Shen Yuan noted internally, not Luo-shizhi. The next moment he realised the meaning of Yue Qingyuan’s words.

“Which type of the vow?” Liu Qingge asked first.

“The strictest type.” Yue Qingyuan’s answering smile was pale. “The heavenly oath. The one that you can’t even think of breaking.”

“How did you convince him?” Shen Yuan blurted out.

“I had to work for it, but… I have more experience in negotiations. Luo Binghe is clearly used to getting whatever he wants through force and threats, he wasn’t ready for a more subtle approach.”

“And what did he promise you?”

“Two things. First of all, to never harm Cangqiong and its adepts, directly or indirectly, through action or inaction. Second of all, to never touch Shen-shidi without permission and to leave him alone if Shen-shidi wants.”

Yes… that explained all the strange things in the last few days. Binghe had come home so exhausted because such vows required long and complex rituals. And Binghe hadn’t dared to force Shen Yuan, removed his hands after the very first request, because he’d had no choice. Shen Yuan should have guessed… Binghe wouldn’t leave him alone willingly. He’d keep trying to get his wish using whining and threats.

“I beg shidi’s pardon for not consulting him and making the decision without his knowledge,” Yue Qingyuan continued, “but…”

“You did the right thing,” Liu Qingge interrupted. “Should have done it earlier…”

“But what does it have to do with Afternoon bliss?” Shen Yuan interfered before their conversation morphed into a quarrel – or into an endless argument of who was the most guilty party. “If it really was Binghe trying to poison us all, what was he trying to achieve? Why? And how’d he even find the flower?”

“Shang-shidi helped him with the flower. Although he swore he hadn’t expected anything like that. He thought he was helping lord Luo to… enrich his private life.”

Shen Yuan suddenly remembered Airplane winking at him before the meeting, as if hinting at something. He must have believed that Shen Yuan had been up for a shitty surprise and felt petty schadenfreude.

Liu Qingge huffed contemptuously.

“We should’ve killed the rat a long time ago. You made a mistake in taking him back.”

“We can discuss it later,” Yue Qingyuan evaded. “As for lord Luo’s intentions, he must have been insulted by the suspicion that Shen-shidi wasn’t with him out of his own free will, so lord Luo decided to prove the opposite. In public.”

Liu Qingge curled his lips in contempt.

“And to assert his power, right? Also in public. And to make Shen Qingqiu want to avoid us and to stay away from Cangqiong. A win-win for him. Except he chose a bad poison.”

“The only possible poison,” Yue Qingyuan corrected. “If he picked something else, that’d be coercion – and a breach of his vow.”

“But why incense? Why poison everyone, not just Shen Qingqiu?”

“Come now, shidi… If Qingqiu were the only one poisoned, it’d immediately become clear who set this up and why. Besides, it would eliminate the public element. As far as I understand, according to lord Luo’s plan he was supposed to enter the meeting hall, to pretend to be affected by the poison as well, then to… assert his power in front of everyone. And that required incense.”

“Good thing he didn’t have the time to…” Shen Yuan whispered, shivering in horror. Yue Qingyuan looked at him with clear pity and gave him the fan.

“He did, shidi. You were under the poison’s effect and didn’t notice his presence. But lord Luo had the chance to see everything… in detail.”

Shen Yuan was probably supposed to hide his burning cheeks behind his fan, but he was too stunned by the information, forgetting his shyness. Binghe… knew? About the adultery, about everything? Binghe had seen Shen Yuan with Liu Qingge? And Shen Yuan couldn’t even write it off as the aphrodisiac’s effect, for he’d acted upon his own desires…

“You don’t have to speak to him now,” Liu Qingge comforted clumsily, either understanding Shen Yuan’s thoughts or feeling his inner turmoil. “Throw away his things, send him a letter, he doesn’t deserve anything more.”

No, he needed to speak to Binghe. Shen Yuan owed him that much. But a bit later… once he recovered and had the chance to accept the unexpected news.

“There’s one thing I don’t get,” Liu Qingge continued after a pause. “Why did the mongrel even think Shen Qingqiu would want him?”

Yue Qingyuan looked at him sharply, but made no comments. Shen Yuan coughed, hid behind the fan and hastily took a gulp of his cold tea. Damn it, he’d thought this conversation couldn’t get any more awkward…

“Perhaps he had reasons to believe that?” Yue Qingyuan suggested softly, clearly giving Shen Yuan a chance to escape the situation with minimal losses. But Shen Yuan couldn’t even use the escape so generously given to him: he was reconsidering the events of the last few days. Binghe couldn’t have possibly believed Shen Yuan to be dying of yearning, right? Shen Yuan hadn’t done anything, he’d given Binghe no reason…

Only he’d gotten aroused when Binghe had been helping him bathe. And had smiled at the hint of roleplay. How could Binghe have known Shen Yuan had been thinking of someone else? Especially since Binghe easily indulged in wishful thinking sometimes. Could he have thought Shen Yuan had been ready to surrender, only resisting out of shyness? Shen Yuan had even believed it himself up to a certain point, not knowing the difference between the true yearning and the willingness to give something to avoid explaining why not.

“He… misunderstood my actions, misinterpreted them,” Shen Yuan finally said. “Although it was my fault as well… I should have made myself clear.”

“Stop blaming yourself! You didn’t force him to resort to vile tricks.”

“He’s still a child…”

“He’s an adult who can take responsibility for his actions.”

“Liu-shidi is right,” Yue Qingyuan remarked. “Didn’t Qingqiu start this whole apology thing in order to make lord Luo realise this simple truth?”

Shen Yuan bit his tongue.

“In any case,” Yue Qingyuan quickly softened and touched Shen Yuan’s wrist with the tips of his fingers, “when lord Luo saw what was going on, he was very saddened, his mind clouded, and he attempted to… break his vow. Which led to rather tragic consequences.”

“Is he…” Shen Yuan grew cold, unable to finish the sentence.

“Did he die?” Liu Qingge blurted out with obvious glee at the same time.

“No, he’s alive,” Yue Qingyuan replied to both of them at once. “But his condition is very bad. We’ve turned lord Luo over to Huanhua palace… Mu-shidi refused to treat him.”

“He said he’d treat Binghe just like any other adept,” Shen Yuan couldn’t help but reproach.

“Any other adept would receive a much worse punishment for the attempt to poison the twelve peak lords.”

Liu Qingge huffed. Shen Yuan grew quiet: it was a compelling point.

“If I remember correctly, lord Luo’s injuries always healed quickly. Besides, Huanhua palace is his sect. His people, his domain.”

“The people who hate him. The sect he’d taken by force.”

“His own fault,” Liu Qingge replied gleefully. “He shouldn’t have been such a bastard. Sow the wind…”

“I’m sure lord Luo has loyal subordinates who genuinely appreciate him,” Yue Qingyuan said very sincerely. “So shidi has nothing to worry about.”

Right! Sha Hualing, Qin Wangyue, other infatuated maidens wouldn’t leave Binghe without help! Having realised that, Shen Yuan relaxed a bit.

“Shixiong is right. I’ll visit Huanhua palace a bit later… to clear things up. I’m sorry your agreements are broken now…”

“Oh, our agreements don’t depend on you staying with lord Luo,” Yue Qingyuan said peacefully. “So don’t worry about Cangqiong.”

“It’s a small cost for your freedom and safety,” Liu Qingge said decisively. Shen Yuan smiled at him from behind the fan.

“In this case I’m grateful to shixiong for his care.”

“What are you talking about? It’s my duty.” Yue Qingyuan slowly finished his tea and stood up. “Shidi should rest for a few more days. You won’t be bothered… just please, shidi, let me know about your plans regarding the… literary works soon.”

“Literary works?”

“About the two of us,” Liu Qingge explained. Shen Yuan sighed: right, he’d forgotten.

“Of course, shixiong. I understand.”

“And one more thing, shidi… do you need blood?”

“No need.” Shen Yuan blushed. “I… everything’s fine. Shixiong… will no longer have to bother.”

“As you wish.” Yue Qingyuan smiled understandingly for the last time and left.

Chapter Text

Shen Yuan wasn’t allowed into Huanhua palace: allegedly the young palace mistress had ordered to chase all outsiders away. Shen Yuan quietly hoped her feelings for Binghe would outweigh her desire to avenge her late father.

His hopes had been in vain: soon Huanhua palace declared “the traitor and murderer Luo Binghe, who seized the power through deception” defeated, neutralised and sealed under the Bailu mountain. The young palace mistress refused to follow the agreements Binghe had made during his reign, but she couldn’t prevent Yue Qingyuan and others to quickly claim pieces of Huanhua palace territory: she had no real power, her adepts were running away like rats, and Huanhua palace had to forward the requests for help to neighbouring sects. Shen Yuan had no doubt that soon jianghu would face a large redistribution of power.

Normally they’d need to prepare for a demonic attack, but after Binghe’s disappearance demons were also fighting for the throne. Sha Hualing had murdered her father and was now disciplining his subordinates. Mobei-jun, whose domain’s location was too disadvantageous and unprofitable, hadn’t broken all ties with the human realm and was trying to establish trade routes, assisted by Shang Qinghua. From what Shen Yuan understood, Airplane was basically exiled to the demonic lands, with the order to not be seen by his former martial siblings: hotheads like Liu Qingge could kill him on sight, while more reserved ones like Mu Qingfang could quietly poison or strangle him.

Yue Qingyuan’s idea with the fanfics had had completely unpredictable consequences: crowds of “Resentment of Chunshan” fans, led by Liu Mingyan (Shen Yuan was still trying to recover after the discovery) were writing tons of new shitty books where the vile and scummy Shen Qingqiu regretted his choice, felt guilty and returned to his husband. However, the well-advertised “Bamboo and willow” had also found a rather large audience, so now the shippers of the two couples were bitterly fighting. It was hard to predict who’d win, but Shen Yuan tried to pour oil into the fire: gave new plots to the writers, drew Liu Qingge atop mountains of defeated monsters, tried to appear together in public as often as he could. They needed to somehow fix the damage done by the thrice-cursed “Resentment”. At least let people write Shen Yuan as an infatuated moron, not a rape victim!

For now Shen Yuan was trying to distract himself: took new disciples, paid more attention to Ming Fan, who was going to become the new Qingjing peak lord in the future, looked for a secluded cabin in the mountains, suitable for unscheduled vacations in Liu Qingge’s company: Shen Yuan had to keep his “kidnapped victim” somewhere! Contrary to Shen Yuan’s vague worries, his attraction to Liu Qingge wasn’t about to disappear: his imagination going wild, Shen Yuan constantly came up with new games, Liu Qingge followed suit, so they experimented often and happily. Shen Yuan even entertained the idea of changing his appearance and visiting some local xianxia sex-shop. There were definitely sex toys here, Shen Yuan remembered that from the shitty port of the original book.

It had taken him a while to visit the Bailu mountain: he’d had to wait until Huanhua palace surrendered the territory to Zhaohua temple. It was easier to convince master Wu Chen to give him access than to talk to the young mistress.

Finally Shen Yuan stepped under the cave roof, holding a lantern in his hand. He didn’t know what he’d see, but he subconsciously expected Luo Binghe to remain the same: a crybaby whining for attention.

He was wrong.

The heavenly calamity left no trace of Luo Binghe’s beauty. His skin was lumpy from the burn scars, bone could be seen in some places. Now, injured and chained, Luo Binghe lost his resemblance to his mother and looked a lot like his father – in the last days of his life.

They should probably be happy Tianlang-jun hadn’t survived to see the day.

“Binghe,” Shen Yuan called quietly, “can you hear me?”

“Shizun?” Binghe gasped. Shen Yuan hastily approached.

“It’s me. Binghe, wait a bit, I’ll get you out of here.”

“Shizun… hasn’t left me. Hasn’t forgotten… What took you so long?” Binghe rasped. Shen Yuan guiltily averted his gaze.

“No one was allowed to Huanhua palace before. Now… the situation has changed. I’ll help you out, give me some time.”

“I… will wait for shizun till the end of time, if need be,” Binghe promised. “I’ll wait for the moment when we’re together again. We’ll go to the demonic realm… no one will bother us there.”

Shen Yuan bit his lip.

“Binghe, I’ll release you. But I’ll stay on Qingjing.”

“Shizun promised to follow me wherever I went.”

“Yes, I know. Sorry, Binghe. But you have to…”

“Why him?!” Binghe screamed, jerking sharply. “How could you… why him?!”

“Because I love him.” It was incredibly hard to admit in front of Binghe, but Shen Yuan didn’t want to lie to him any longer. “Binghe, I… can’t give you what you want. I’m sorry it took me so long to realise, I’ve deluded myself, not knowing my own feelings…”

“As if I’d let you go,” Binghe hissed. “As if I’d let you.”

“Binghe, you promised that if I didn’t want…”

“You’ve also promised me a lot!” Binghe screamed. “And you’ve been lying to me all this time! No matter… this time I’ll leave you no chance. I’ll kill him, and you…”

Binghe’s skin began to emit smoke, his rotting flesh sliding off his bones. Binghe howled, jerked in his chains, trying to reach Shen Yuan, to crawl closer, and Shen Yuan retreated in horror. Then he left the lantern on the ground, turned around and ran to the exit, followed by inhuman wailing.

“Well?”

Liu Qingge was already waiting for Shen Yuan in the passage; feeling his condition without any words, Liu Qingge caught Shen Yuan in his embrace, allowing him to catch his breath and calm down. Master Wu Chen, who was standing next to them, politely averted his gaze.

“He… I’m afraid he can hurt himself. With this vow of his.”

“Did he threaten you?” Liu Qingge smirked in contempt. “Don’t worry, this beast can’t reach us any longer.”

“Benefactor Shen should have faith in Buddha’s mercy,” master Wu Chen added. “I will visit benefactor Luo… Buddha is kind, perhaps in time benefactor Luo will get rid of his obsession and return to freedom.”

“I doubt that.” Liu Qingge huffed. “But who cares. If he changes – great, if not – let him endure the punishment. He deserves it.”

Shen Yuan merely sighed. He was still feeling sick: from the guilt, from the horror, from the understanding that Binghe had never had any intention of letting him go. That if back after the Maigu Ridge Shen Yuan had really wanted to leave, Binghe wouldn’t have let him.

“He’s been lying to me from the start,” Shen Yuan said, not really expecting an answer.

“And you’re still blaming yourself?” Liu Qingge replied at once. “Forget it. The mongrel isn’t dangerous anymore, you can live peacefully.”

Shen Yuan would hardly be able to just forget, but he didn’t want to think about what had happened. Shen Yuan sank into their connection, letting himself find the warmth in Liu Qingge’s calm confidence, his love, support – and obvious schadenfreude.

Well. Liu Qingge wasn’t perfect, he could very well feel something less than worthy. Shen Yuan knew his bad sides and accepted them – just like Liu Qingge accepted all of Shen Yuan’s bad sides.

They had a long way ahead. Shen Yuan was still waiting for the right moment to confess about his transmigration. Shen Yuan still had to heal the wounds of his and Liu Qingge’s souls. Shen Yuan still hadn’t completely figured out the “soulmate” connection, even if he’d learnt to control it a bit.

And yet for the first time in forever Shen Yuan was looking at the future with anticipation instead of anxiety and horror.