Chapter Text
My head really hurts.
No, like seriously.
Why do I feel even more tired than before I fell asleep?
Hope grunted, shaking their head, trying to take in their surroundings.
Right. We had some sort of argument.
…Did that cause this?
On the contrary, Frisk was looking lively.
They immediately stood up and started to walk to the living room, bobbing up and down.
“What do you guys want to do today?” Frisk asked suddenly.
Strange. Frisk normally never asks us for anything.
They just go with the flow, and we go along.
Well, I don’t think anyone’s really active, so maybe-
“We need to get stronger.” Chara spoke up. “As of now, you are horrible at defending yourself from monsters, and will likely get all of us killed.”
“Oh…” Frisk lowered down their head, and meekly nodded. “Will do.”
As usual, Chara really needs to work on being kinder.
Frisk’s smile perked up again, as they walked over to the fridge.
Huh. That time of the day again?
“I am feeling a bit hungry, but… I am definitely getting nothing from this.” Chara commented.
Frisk reached out and grabbed the chocolate.
“Oh?” Chara seemed mildly surprised. “Well, thanks, I guess.”
Frisk smile seemed to get even brighter.
“Well, hope you like how this tastes!”
Frisk took a big bite of the chocolate bar.
“Is it good?” Frisk asked.
“Ohh, that is so good.” Chara purred, almost like a cat, clearly satisfied.
“Eat it faster or slower?”
“Slower.” Frisk did as Chara asked.
…
Frisk seems… a bit different than usual.
Has anyone else noticed?
“Frisk. There’s something about you that seems different.” Ah, Clover. I can always count on you to read the room.
“Clover, what do you mean by that?” Frisk laughed nervously.
“Are you especially hungry today?” Clover asked.
Frisk blinked, confused. “Not really?”
… Okay. At least Clover got the basics.
“Anyways, so what is your decision? What do we do from now on?” Looks like even Integrity is awake now.
“I’m fine with leaving! Let’s move forward towards a better underground!” Frisk announced, smiling.
…
What.
“Glad you agree, pal! Oh, we’re going to have so much fun exploring the underground!” Clover shouted, sounding overjoyed and excited.
That’s not right.
“Well, you changed your mind quickly.” Chara also seemed satisfied.
Stop.
“Well, it’s all for you guys!” Frisk grinned, with a large, wide smile.
Okay, that’s it.
There is no more doubt that something is wrong with Frisk.
What to do, what to do…
They have two options.
Either they observe, but risk Frisk’s mental state becoming worse…
Or reach out to them, but Frisk might not want us to know and hide their problems from us.
…What to do?
What would Jade do?
…
You’re not doing anything?
…
It can’t be…
You want me to make the first move?
…
Heh.
Why is this even a decision?
Stop thinking so much. The thing that matters most is to remind Frisk that we’ll always support them.
“Frisk?” Hope reached out to Frisk.
Frisk whipped their head around, jittery and alarmed.
“Yes, Hope? Is there anything you want?” Frisk stuttered.
Oh, Frisk…
Hope really wished that they could just magically solve their issues, so that they can be happy.
But real life doesn’t work like that.
So they’ll stick to the second best option.
“Are you alright?”
Frisk’s smile faltered.
“No- Yes! I’m fine!” Frisk hastily corrected themselves.
“Just know, Frisk. If you have any problems, we are here to help.”
“Uhh… thanks.” Frisk smiled sheepishly, before turning away.
They might need to follow up in the future, but this was good for now.
“You noticed it too?” Jade whispered to Hope, making sure that only they could hear them.
“I did.”
Jade growled, frustrated. “Chara did something. Whatever they did affected Frisk somehow.”
Chara… Yes, Frisk did seem fixated in trying to please them.
“So… what do you want to do?” Hope asked nervously.
“Well, how about I follow your lead for once?” Jade chuckled, before returning to what seemed like a grim expression. “Let’s get to the bottom of it.”
“Chara.” Jade spoke softly, but with an unmistakable hidden fury.
“What did you do?”
“Huh?” Chara drawled, clearly annoyed.
“What do you even mean, human? I did absolutely nothing wrong.”
With all of the taunts towards them, Jade remained silent.
Should I…
No. This is Jade’s thing. I’ll trust them to do what’s right.
Chara laughed.
“I thought so. Just the same baseless accusations that all of you pathetic humans do.”
“Did you get anything from that?” Hope whispered to Jade.
But they had an idea of what happened. It would be horrible, but it’s the most likely idea.
“Oh, I’ve got a good guess about what happened.” Jade spoke softly, their expression grim.
“And I don’t like it at all.”
____
If I had more time in the Underground, what would I have done?
That was one of the questions that Clover was thinking about before they died.
Well, there’s no more need for thinking! Now, they can actually have a lot of fun with their friends!
Of course, the others weren’t just talking about fun.
About saving monsters, getting information…
And most importantly, deciding the details of their journey.
Clover was hesitant to go this route at first, because they didn’t want to force Frisk into something that they didn’t want to do.
But now that Frisk had a change of heart, everything’s fine now!
“Anyways, we should be able to leave today.” Chara had calmed down from eating chocolate, and now was back to their usual self.
“Tomorrow?” Frisk’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Tomorrow?” Maroon asked in unison.
“What, do you want to do nothing for even longer?” Chara snapped.
Frisk stayed silent for a while, before nodding.
“That’s fair.”
“Well, you did say that you would visit some of the other monsters in the Ruins, so might as well do that first.” Maroon pointed out.
“Alright! Let’s go!” Frisk rushed out of the house and started running.
“...Frisk, I’m sure there’s no need to go so fast. Just appreciate the scenery, and-”
“Human. I know that you are trying to stall for time. What is your problem?” Chara interrupted Maroon, with a cold, furious voice.
“Hey, I’m not stalling for time! I’m just… uhh…” Maroon stuttered.
Ahh, they must be nervous.
“Don’t worry, Maroon! We’re all here now! There’s nothing to be nervous about!”
“You have no idea, Clover!” Maroon suddenly snapped. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! And have you not seen Frisk?”
Frisk? What was wrong with Frisk?
They seemed a bit off, but that was no big problem.
… Right?
“I’m fine, guys. You can stop worrying.” Frisk laughed, and shrugged it off.
Frisk didn’t even see that they weren’t even walking in a straight line anymore.
“What I’m saying is, you changed your decision overnight! That’s not normal!” Maroon continued, growing louder.
…
Maroon’s right.
That isn’t normal.
“I just wanted to help everyone, how ‘unnormal’ is th-”
Frisk suddenly stopped.
“What’s the big-”
In front of Frisk, there was a small toy knife lying neatly on the ground.
“Why is that here?” Lillie spoke up in disbelief.
“That’s my toy.” Lillie’s voice was shaking. “So I was…”
Wait, if Lillie loved that toy so much, why wouldn’t it be kept somewhere else?
The only way that a belonging can be all the way out here is…
…
Clover started to feel sick.
“Trust me, Frisk.” Maroon spoke slowly and quietly. “Stay in the RUINS. It’s safe here. There is no need to leave. You will never be ready for what’s outside.”
Frisk pressed a finger to their head, deep in thought, while breathing deeply, in and out, louder and louder, trying to grab nothing, until they almost collapsed on the ground.
____
Okay.
They were conflicted before, but they're fine now.
Everything’s fine.
…
Maroon wanted us to be safe.
…So if it came to a last resort…
Why am I regretting my decisions? I promised to act in self-defense.
If it makes everyone happy, it’ll be fine.
It’ll be perfectly fine.
Frisk grabbed onto the wall of Toriel’s house.
Alright, I’m still here…
Toriel was sitting on her armchair, reading a book about snails.
“What is it, my child?” Toriel asked. “You seem to be troubled. Can I help you with anything?”
What is with everyone asking if I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m totally fine.
As long as I make others happy, I’m fine.
As long as…
Back to the point, Frisk.
“I want to leave.” Frisk admitted bluntly.
Toriel put down their book, and stared with an alarmed expression.
“Surely there is no need to, my child. You are happy here, are you not?”
Yes, but the others aren’t.
“How do I leave?” Straight to the point, Frisk. Keep moving forwards.
“I’m sure there’s things here that you will enjoy.” Toriel started grabbing different objects, trying to find something. “Perhaps you will like this book? It contains many interesting facts about snails.”
“I wish to leave.”
But do I?
… That doesn’t matter.
Moving forward is the thing to do.
Toriel threw her book on the ground, and clenched her head.
When she stood up, her face was nothing but serious.
“You cannot leave.”
With that, she turned around, and walked away.
____
“What do I do, Dalv? I’m stuck here, and I don’t know how to leave.” Frisk was pacing around Dalv’s house, fidgeting with their hands.
Okay, Dalv.
Frisk came to me for help. I need to be a good friend. Good friends help one another.
“Well, I can…” Dalv trailed off.
What can I even do?
I can’t go against Toriel. A queen won’t budge.
…And there is nothing else that I can do.
“I’m… useless, Frisk. I’m not the monster who can solve your problems.” Dalv admitted.
“But there must be something!” Frisk cried, grabbing their head. “Maybe there’s another exit, or maybe there’s something that would allow Toriel to let me through, or-”
“I’m sorry, Frisk.” Dalv bowed their head down, feeling nothing but regret.
“I can’t do anything.”
____
Stay calm, Toriel.
Stay calm.
Toriel was quietly drinking a cup of tea by themselves, trying hard to not tremble and cause the tea to spill over.
I need to stay calm.
Toriel’s grip tightened on the handle.
I cannot stay calm.
It’s the same. It is always the same. They want to leave, but when they do so, they never come back.
Never.
Those poor children…
____
“We’ll be off, Toriel!” Maroon waved, with their belongings in their backpack.
“See you soon, Mom!” Lillie smiled, before walking off with Maroon, hand in hand.
Those two are so cute together. It is a shame that Toriel couldn’t take care of them for longer.
But they need to be independent. They need to see the world outside the Ruins.
Toriel really hoped that they would listen to her lessons. Remembering to brush their teeth, sleeping eight hours a day…
Toriel chuckled. They will probably be fine together.
And they will come back after a month, so Toriel needs to get ready for that!
____
It’s been a month already…
But they haven’t come back.
It’s probably fine.
They have probably forgotten the time with how much fun they get into.
Just got to pack up all of these decorations…
____
It has been two months.
They still have not returned.
Toriel gets more and more anxious everyday.
What happened to them? Are they alright?
… Are they still alive?
Toriel gave up waiting for them after a year.
____
No more. If Toriel could only save one child, that is enough.
They will not let another child out of the Ruins.
No matter what they say.
____
Jade was shaking slightly as they prepared to leave the Ruins.
Toriel was equally as nervous. The other two children left the Ruins, and met a horrible fate.
But inside, Jade is definitely determined.
They want to help monsters, and make peace between them and humans.
Toriel could not say no to a goal as virtuous as that.
To their surprise and happiness, Jade actually came back a year later. They looked completely different, looking more rugged and tired than before, but they were the same as before.
As they embraced, Toriel thought that everything would be fine. This time, Jade would survive.
“Hey, did you hear the news from the capital? There was a human down here! ASGORE executed them himself!”
…
That was the last time that Toriel had such false hope.
____
“I need to do this, Toriel.”
Hope stood at the exit to the RUINS, with resolute confidence in their cold eyes. It almost scared Toriel.
“I need to find Jade.”
Toriel knows that Jade is dead. And that fact would make Hope stop.
But does Toriel want to crush Hope’s heart like that?
No.
There is no way.
Toriel watched, helplessly, as another child walked away to their death.
____
Why are all of these memories coming back?
Reminding me of how terrible I am at being a mother?
I couldn’t protect them.
I couldn’t protect any of them.
____
It’s been going well with this new child.
They had long, aqua-blue hair, and piercing purple-coloured eyes.
They did not share their name with Toriel, but they liked her regardless.
And they had no intention of leaving.
“Come here, my child, I will-”
…
They are not here.
Toriel sprinted throughout her house, frantically trying to find the child that she swore not to lose.
As they runned down into the basement, they immediately knew what happened.
That exit door was open. That accursed door, taking away another child yet again.
____
This child will be the one. No more escaping. No more-
They disappeared before Toriel could even spend one day with them.
____
Every time, I tell myself that this would be the first child to ever survive.
Every time, I was wrong.
I will not be wrong this time.
Toriel put down their cup, and began to walk to the basement.
The exit to the RUINS cannot be open any longer.
There is another exit, but that requires magic to leave.
And there were others, but Toriel made sure to destroy all of them.
But Toriel could not shake the feeling that something will go wrong.
Wait…
Frisk seemed off today.
Toriel quickly rushed over to the basement. The one area she told Frisk to never enter.
And Frisk was there.
I am a failure.
Every time.
…
No.
Not this time.
I refuse.
When Frisk’s eyes met Toriel, they got flustered, and started to panic, saying various apologies.
Toriel was not listening. Her days of allowing her children to escape were over.
“I will seal off the entrance of the RUINS. You will stay safe here. The outside world is too harsh for you. Now, go back to your room.”
Toriel didn’t hear what Frisk had to say. For now, all they had to do was to destroy that accursed door.
And push away the nagging fear that this was going to go horribly.
No. Why would that be?
This time, everything will be alright.
____
No.
I can’t let this be.
Frisk was trying, with all of their might, to run towards the end of the corridor.
If Toriel closes the exit, they can never go outside.
And the others can’t see the outside world again.
… And Chara will never be happy.
Frisk tripped, and landed on the floor.
They punched the ground, cursing it for making them stop.
Toriel was already at the door.
“Well, if you want to get through, you need to be able to survive!” Toriel shouted, moving their hands in an ornate pattern, getting into a fighting stance.
No.
“I don’t want this, Toriel!” Frisk shouted loudly.
Stop the tears, Frisk. Chara doesn’t want you to show weakness.
“Trust me, my child.” Toriel took a deep breath, with eyes full of sadness and regret.
“It is for your own good.”
Magical greenish-purple flames appeared on Toriel’s hands, illuminating the dark corridor with an eerie light.
Frisk stumbled back, and pulled out a sharp stick from their backpack, the only thing that they had to defend themselves.
“What do I do?” Frisk shouted.
“Do not, under any circumstances, hurt Toriel!” Chara shouted.
With a swipe of her hand, Toriel raised a wall of fire, which burnt Frisk’s arm.
“Defend yourself!” Maroon shouted.
“Are you crazy?” Chara shouted at Maroon, which caused Jade to retort angrily.
“If it wasn’t for you, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place!”
“What are you doing? Attack or run away!” Toriel, seeing Frisk’s inactivity, started to increase the intensity of her attacks.
What should I do?
None of those are options!
NONE OF THEM!
Frisk grabbed onto the stick as hard as they could, to try and stop themselves from panicking.
Didn’t stop the others from panicking.
“What do we do?” Hope shouted. “There must be a third option!”
“Toriel, we can-” Frisk got hit by a large fire pillar while trying to negotiate.
There is no third option.
“Don’t hurt Toriel, Frisk!” Lillie cried. “I don’t want this fight to happen!”
Well, that’s no use.
Frisk slapped themselves.
What is wrong with me, thinking that?
“If you will not fight, try… this!” Toriel shouted, charging at Frisk.
No.
I don’t want to die.
Not like this.
Everyone will be disappointed in me.
I’ll have failed everyone.
I…
No.
Not like this.
No.
I’m going to die.
NO!
A flash of red, of panic and anger.
A loud crack, and a piercing of wood into flesh.
Frisk stumbled back, with Toriel rushing forward to catch them.
Both of them landed heavily on the ground.
Frisk stared, horrified, at the stick, which had been stabbed into Toriel’s body.
“No. No. There must be a way to save you, or-” Frisk was interrupted with Toriel’s coughs.
“Well, you are much stronger than I expected.” Toriel still managed to smile despite coughing heavily.
Frisk started to sob.
“I don’t want you to leave, Toriel.” Frisk cried, prompting Toriel to pull Frisk in for a hug.
“I can rest easy now, my child. You… are… strong enough.”
Toriel lifted a soft and gentle hand, and brushed Frisk’s tear away.
“Be good, alright?”
Toriel smiled, as she slowly disintegrated into dust in Frisk’s hands.
The room was silent for a while.
Everyone was quiet, hoping that it was a dream, and that they would be waking up in bed, with Toriel calming them down from this nightmare.
“Mom?” Maroon whispered, absolutely horrified.
“Mom!” Jade and Lillie both started sobbing, crying out for Toriel to come back.
Frisk fell onto the ground, grabbing Toriel’s ashes, with tears streaming down their face.
Hope was sobbing quietly, trying not to disturb the others.
“So, Frisk… looks like… you do have the will…” Integrity didn’t maintain a triumphant expression for even one second before breaking down.
I’m a horrible person.
I’m such a horrible person.
“You.” Chara breathed, full of uncontrolled rage and grief.
“Are such a horrible person.”
“I despise you, with every fiber of my being.”
I don’t even deserve to live.
“I will never forgive you.”
I won’t forgive myself.
“You are disgusting.”
I hate myself.
“And I hate this feeling. This feeling of violence that I suddenly got. This sick pleasure that disgusts me to my core.” Chara spat.
“You should just die.”
…I should just die.
____
Everything’s ablaze.
And everything has gone wrong.
What has Clover done to help? Nothing.
No, Frisk, please…
Frisk was taking slow, painful steps, towards the fire that surrounded the room.
In Toriel’s death, the flames had grown wild, strong.
And unstoppable.
Clover’s scared. But not for themselves.
Frisk deserved so much better than this.
If only they could start over.
And the others… they deserved a good second chance.
And now, because of me, they don’t get one.
“Please, Frisk! Don’t die!” Clover was crying for the first time in a month, trying to salvage something, anything, but everything had already all gone wrong. “You have so much to live for! We can work this out! At least stop for a while! It doesn’t have to be this way!”
Clover tried to reach out, with whatever form they had, to pull Frisk back.
…
…
…
But nobody came.
____
“Well, you just had to be dramatic, didn’t you?”
Flowey looked at the steadily blackening corpse of the human, bathed in the flames that were slowly engulfing the entire house, and sighed.
No easy way out of the plan, I guess.
The only time where they could probably have absorbed their SOUL…
Just for the SOUL to be destroyed before the body even started burning.
Despite what happened, Flowey knew that the human still didn’t want to die. He felt a familiar feeling in the air, the feeling of the world going to reset itself, the feeling of time turning back.
Alright, Flowey. The human last SAVED in front of Toriel’s home, twenty minutes ago. At that time, they were roughly twenty meters behind them, and three meters underground.
When they come back, I’ll be ready.