Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

fuck.

that’s literally the only word nya can think of to describe her current problem. She likes Jay like a shit ton but she has literally never been attracted to any other guys.

“fsm get a room!” Lloyd was squeezed into a booth with the rest of the ninja and unfortunately was sat next to the sappy couple.

Kai snaked his arm around cole’s shoulders, “HAH!, you wish! This guy made me realize i’m gay and i wouldn’t trade that for the world.” wait…what?

Nya remembered one of her and Kai’s late night talks years ago where he admitted that before her and Jay started dating, he’d had a crush on him. “i promise i don’t feel like that anymore, i’m so sorry.” he confessed it through tears that evaporated as soon as they hit his face. “Nya, i’m scared; I shouldn’t look at boys like i do girls, first spinjitsu master i wish i didn’t feel like this.” He tried running a hand through his hair, getting frustrated when he reached a knott.
and she had grabbed a brush, working her way through his mess of hair. She let him know it was ok. That he was normal. He cried and she comforted him and held him, ignoring the sweat that ran down her back. A few weeks (and late night talks) later he came out to the team as bi and they welcomed him with open arms.

“I thought you were bi?”

Kai shrugged,“I thought so too! Sometimes you get it wrong and it takes someone else to make you realize.” giving Cole a smirk as he said this.

“Pfft- when did you get good at giving advice?” Lloyd and Jay tried and failed to hide their laughter, earning them both playful punch to the shoulder. “waiter, could we get some more bread over here?”

Sunlight poured through the monestery’s windows as Misako poured over some strange arrangement of symbols, “Would you mind getting me that scroll about serpentine runes?” Nya nodded scanning the shelves. After a minute of searching she set her eyes on it and handed it to misako. “Ah yes thank you darling.” She gave her a warm smile that made her eyes crinkle at the edges. Nya felt a rush of warmth to her face before quickly pushing it down.

“Yeah no problem!”

what the hell is wrong with you?? that’s literally lloyd’s mom why are you being so weird!? wait.
FUCK.
fsm that makes so much sense. Nya cursed her brain for not realizing sooner that she’d had a stupid crush on Misako when they were younger. Turns out doing stuff for the sole reason of getting approval from a mentor wasn’t just admiration.
She never considered that she might like girls but it just kinda clicked in her brain. Nya had always loved Kiera Knightly in the pirates of the caribbean, and also the thing with Misako. Shit. Theywereright-Jay with his stupid gorgeous hair,and dumb puns.
“ughhh” Nya snugged further into her comforter, willing everything to just go back to how it was before. “Sis? You in there?” a harsh knock coencided with Kai’s voice.

“mmfffh”

“i’m coming in, don’t be naked.” A weight at the end of the bed told her he had decided to take a seat.

“Go away, i’m sleeping.”

He chuckled,”Yeah i can see that. Unfortunately for you, Wu has decided we should all eat dinner together’to strengthan our bond as a team’ or something like that.” he did his mock wu impression which never failed to make her smile. She managed to sit herself up so she could actually see Kai’s face.

“I appreciate you trying to cheer me up but i’m honestly not in the mood.”

Kai raised his brow, “Look you seriously don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to but you’ve been kind of avoiding Jay and he’s been avoiding you so what’s going on there?” She listened for a second to make no one was eavesdropping before she continued.

“Ok, you cannot tell a soul, especially Jay. Do you understand?” Kai quickly held up his hands in surrender, waiting for her to continue.
“I’ve been questioning myself for the past few days because of those hecklers from the studio the other day. And you saying that you can get your sexuality wrong the first time and it can take someone else to make you realize. Welp, i guess that person for me was jay because i realized ive never been attracted to any other guys, and i remember always thinking that i would marry a girl when i was grownupcauseboysarestupidand-“

“NYA! copy my breathing, can you do that for me?” she nodded. He placed her quivering hand on his chest,”in and out. in and out.” He walked her through the exercise a few times and eventually her lungs were going at a normal pace. “So, correct me if i’m getting it wrong here, but you’re avoiding Jay because you think you might not be attracted to guys and you don’t want to invalidate him as a trans guy?”

“Holy fuck how’d you know?” He laughed a bit before trying to cover it up with a cough which she decided to ignore.
“pfft- ehhem; because i went through something similar. Back before Cole came out and transitioned, i had just developed a crush on him and i thought i was bi because you know, we all thought Cole was a girl at the time. Later after he came out i realized he was the only ‘girl’ i had ever been attracted to and that was that.”
Kai smiled softly like he picturing it right now.

“You know i’m happy for you and Cole but how does that help me?” He once again snorted which turned into a sibling wrestling match.

“ Listen, just talk to Jay please? I may or may not have some insider information that things will definitely be ok.” He flipped over onto his back, out of breath. “also i win.”

“Fine, I’ll talk to him! but if shit hits the fan you get to put up with it.”

“deal.” They laid there for a moment before she begrudgingly hauled herself off of the floor, extending Kai a hand.

Chapter Text

“Excuse me ma’am?” Jay turned,”Sorry , i meant sir. Can you tell me where the hygiene products are?” He blinked startled,”Uuh yeah over there i think.”

Jay couldn’t stop thinking about that moment, turning it over in his mind. It’s not like he hadn’t been called that before, but it felt..different somehow. In years previous it had made him super uncomfortable, that’s part of why he identified as a transguy. Now he’s not so sure.

That train of thought was going to have to wait for later, the ninja had an interview on some talk show about representation as most of the ninja are queer. It’s ok Jay, just tell them about your coming out story and you and Nya;just the usual stuff. Don’t tell them that you might’ve been accidentally lying to them and that Nya might hate youand- “Jay? Me and hot head are about to head to the studio and the others left already. Are you alright in there?” Cole happened to be the one to get him out of his spiral.

“I’ll be out in a minute, promise!” Jay quickly splashed some water on his face, joining Kai and Cole in the car.

Jay readjusted himself once in the car, tucking his legs onto the seat. Propping his head on his hand he stared into the landscape. It was a misty day in ninjago painting the sky in blurry grays. He lamented about how perfectly it encapsulated his current mood. “What’s got you so quiet, bluebell?” Cole shifted in his place in shotgun to shoot Jay a slightly concerned look, poorly hidden behind a small smile.

“Oh you know, nerves.” he went back to looking out the window.

The earth master let out an exasperated sigh,”Jay, i’ve known you long enough to know that’s total bullshit.” Jay could clearly envision the other’s face saying, ‘really?’

”I’ve just been re-evaluating some stuff lately. Stuff that may or may not be related to the interview we’re about to do.” freckled hands picked at freckled skin, desperately willing the conversation to an end.

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want but we’re here for you. If you wanna do it now though you might wanna hurry cause we’re almost there.” the car swerved a bit from the force of the earth ninja’s hand smacking Kai in the driver’s seat. “OW- ok first master!”

“Kai is right in part, we’re here for you. Just remember that ok?” Cole reached back and squeezed Jay’s hand, giving him reassurance.
The car drove on and soon pulled to a stop in the back of some studio in New Ninjago city.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The interview didn’t take long to go entirely to shit. Jay was already feeling overstimulated in the makeup they put on him, it felt nothing like the simple looks Nya had done on him before. The couches they had been placed on were scratchy and Jay was pressed between Nya and Kai. The interviewer smelled like a perfume store, and smiled far too wide. Then the interrogation began.

“Welcome viewers new and old, today we have a special treat for you all! I am Gayle Gossip and here in our humble studio we have our city’s sworn protecters, the ninja!!!” faux applause sounded from the live audience as the overhead sign instructed them. “As most of our audience probably knows, the ninja are active members of our local lgbtqia+ community and are going to be apart of our upcoming pride events only 2 months away.”

Gayle then went on to explain that she would be asking a few questions on the subject. The camera panned to the ninja’s ‘reactions’ to the questions being asked, most of which were meant to start drama or were deeply personal. The air in the studio grew very awkward very quickly.

“So Mr. Walker, our viewers are dying to know how you and the lovely Nya here got together in the first place. Care to share?” the crowd looked at him expectantly.

“Well, uhm. Even before i knew i was trans i knew i liked girls and guys, so when i met Nya with her firey personality and compassion i fell hard.” Jay glanced over at Nya to see if he had said it right. Her smile was crooked, and slightly panicky, though she was trying to portray it otherwise. This only heightened Jay’s nerves.

“What a lovely couple! Must be interesting to be the only straight passing couple out of the group, huh?” They each were given a lav mic but Gayle still taunted them with her handheld microphone, begging them to give her the satisfaction of an outburst.

“I wouldn’t say they’re the most straight passing couple ever, not after pirates of the caribbean movie nights am i right?” Kai once again saves the group from another long silence after a question,fake laughing again. But the only thing Jay could hear was the overwhelming laughter of a studio audience, and it seemed as if the lights were running off of stars themselves, blinding him and running circles around his brain. Arms wrapped tight around him, whose they were he wasn’t sure, but that didn’t really matter right now

Chapter Text

“You’re telling me i had a meltdown on live fucking tv?!?!?” Nails that were bitten to the point of bleeding pulled at Jay’s hair, creating a another mess to clean up. The ninja was pacing around what little space the set’s private dressing rooms provided.

“hey hey!! deep breaths buddy. i have both good news and bad news, good news the station promised that they will cut it out of the official recording for tv, bad news is the in studio audience saw plus alot of people were watching that live broadcast.” The fire ninja bit his lip trying to find a way to have a positive outlook on the situation. One thing about Kai is that he always always cuts to the chase, and though Jay appreciated the honesty it wasn’t really helping his mental state. “I know the lights were bugging me too but do you know what led up to it?”

Jay picked at his skin again thinking, finally deciding to spill the beans. “I’ve been having weird gender stuff lately, and i’ve been overstimulated all day; what that lady said threw me over the edge i guess ?” he stared at his lightening scarred hands pondering how to continue.

“Gender stuff like how? Is that why you’ve been so cagey?” Kai crossed his arms, adding to the worried dad look. Jay sighed trying to release some of the tension building in his shoulders before he continued.

“I’ve been thinking that maybe i’m not totally a guy? I don’t know, only being referred to as he and him, and seen as a dude is kinda restrictive i guess?” he rubbed his hands over his hair again, fidgeting with something to calm himself.

“Well that’s ok! Do you wanna like use they and them too or something?” Kai still didn’t get it.

“No. I don’t really like that so much, people in the past have used that to try and avoid calling me he and him. It just makes me feel gross. I don’t know what’s happening there, but i’m more worried about Nya. I like her a lot and i don’t wanna ruin it!” The blue ninja curled in further on himself.

“Ok so, that’s a no go. Nya is crazy about you, as weird as that is for me to admit. I honestly don’t think she would give a shit how you identified.” Kai had that smug face he gets when he thinks he’s figured something out. “I don’t know much about the gender stuff, but can i try something? If you don’t like it i’ll shut up immediately.”

“I disagree, but sure go ahead.” Jay squinted, puzzled.

“Jay is the lightening ninja, she is really energetic and he is also really smart.” Kai stood waiting for the verdict.

holy shit. Jay rubbed her eyes trying to get the revelation to sink in, “Oh fuck ok, yes that- first spinjitsu master that felt great.”

The fire ninja fist pumped, “YES! I got it!” A crew member’s voice came through the door letting them know they could finally be set free of the blinding studio lights.

When the ninja set a foot out of the studio they were bombarded by a crowd of “fans”. They were all yelling and screaming about different things, surrounding the ninja best they could. They tried to find the security guard that was supposed to be escorting them out but he was no where in sight.“HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT DATING A FAKE MAN?” “WHAT IS ‘JAYS’ REAL NAME?” “DYKE!”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” Nya’s voice rang out over the crowd like temple bells, and a silence filled the empty space.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Nya raced through the training course, ending up at the punching bag. What do those guys know about my sexuality? Jay is a real man, he always has been. They have no right to say such shitty things, especially to his face. should have known that she would’ve pulled something like this. and right before pride month! i’m gonna knock that gossip to hell and-“UGH!” The bag split leaving Nya’s bruised knuckles to clean up the mess.

As the last of the punching bags remnants were tossed Nya stormed her way into the orange and black mess of the earth ninja’s room. “CAN YOU BELIEVE THOSE ASSHOLES? SAYING ALL THAT SHIT TO OUR FACES?” Cole watched Nya pace his room making gestures he would rather not replicate. “I mean-the nerve! the fuckin’ balls on those guys! I’m gonna water board them into the next realm! UGH!” She flopped onto the bed beside cole, crossing her arms with a sneer.

“I’m pissed too waterbug, if my transition was as public as his i’m sure they would have said the same things.” The earth ninja ran his cold hands through her hair seemingly instantly calming her as she leaned into the touch.

“You know how tough it was for him when he came out, and i don’t want him to go through that again. Cole, what do i do? Jay won’t talk to me!” Nya turned to face him as he wiped away tears she didn’t know she had shed.

“Maybe just give him some space yeah? You know he’s going through it and he just needs time.”

“Why do you always have to be right all the time?”

“Cause i’m just good like that.” They held each other till there were tears no more.

Chapter Text

The table lacked their usual banter and even when Kai said some awful dad joke everyone’s laughs seem to die on their tongues. Jay couldn’t really focus on anything, moving around the vegetables in his soup but not really eating. Nya avoiding eye contact with Jay as much as possible. Everyone noticed.

“DAMMIT JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER!” Kai shouted and slammed his hand on the table. The rest of table stared as if he had actual flames on his head. (He did and Zane had to put it out.)

“Kai, i understand your frustration, but there was no need for such an outburst.” the nindroid turned to the people in question. “He is right though. Open communication is the key to a healthy relationship.”

“As much as i regret it i have to agree. Your quarrel is affecting the whole team and i can not allow it to continue.” Master Wu stood and stroked his beard as if he hadn’t already made up his mind.

Jay and Nya gawked at the rest of the table. “It’s none of your business whether or not we are fighting.” she stood to walk away but was held in place by Cole.

“Nya, it becomes my business when it disrupts the team. i’m banning you two from all missions until you sort everything out. I would appreciate if you didn’t argue.” with that Wu walked away leaving an abundance of tension in his wake.

A week passed with the two managing to not be alone together. The other ninja continued on with normal missions while jay and nya paced around, doing anything but talking. But of course it came to an end eventually (it may or may not be due to some scheming).

“Zane?-“

“Cole?-“

They spotted each other just as the door locked.
“Dammit i should’ve known cole didn’t actually want me to explain star fairer to him.” jay cursed and found a chair to sit in, placing it away from the other. Nya did much the same, both of them sitting in silence in the metal room.

“Were you actually avoiding me?” jay’s face said it all. She sighed,“Look, i’m sorry for everything. I know you’ve had a tough time with the media and all lately so i didn’t wanna say anything and make you feel worse.” Nya moved closer to him grasping his freckled hand to hide the trembling.

“i’m sorry too. for avoiding you and- wait. say what? Nya you can tell me anything, what’s going on?” He turned to her and blue eyes met brown with a worried expression.

“I know Jay, i know. it’s just this one might change our relationship forever.” She turned her head grabbing both of his hands to steady her.

“guess we both have something to confess then, huh?” worry turned to confusion in the elemental mastress. “better rip off the bandaid then; i’m not a guy? i think i’m nonbinary, and i’m pretty sure i wanna use he/she pronouns. I know that this might change the way you see me so i, i totally get if you wanna take some time and uh-“

Nya plunged their lips together, jay quickly reciprocating. Although confused, Jay kissed back with as much fervour as nya did soon having to part so his lungs didn’t collapse. As quickly as she could breath nya began planting kisses along jay’s jaw becoming more passionate as they went.

“NyaAh! WOAH- ok uhm. that was awesome sauce but uhm could we maybe put a hold on that during our serious conversation?” Jay pulled away leaving her hands around nya’s neck.

“HAHAHAAAHEEAH-“ Nya burst out into a fit of giggles barely managing to keep ahold of the bright red ninja in front of her. “I was so worried about telling you i’m a lesbian that i didn’t even notice; oh first master!” she took his hands pressing them to her own face,” Jay, my handsome girl. I love you more than the moon loves the sun, i would never leave you over figuring out more about the person i love most.”

She leaped at the girl, smothering her in kisses landing them both on the floor. Not that it mattered to them.

They were later found by the team, curled up next to each other holding on as if they were going to be separated any moment.

(they would never let that happen)