Adult Content Warning
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Badger at the Gate by No_one_of_account
Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
20 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
Lena was heading home from her day job as a software engineer when an llithid nautiloid kidnapped her. Luckily, she's a honey badger shifter (think Shelly Laurenston's Honey Badger Chronicles), and honey badgers are best known for taking on big cats, hyenas, scorpions, and venomous snakes, and more often than not, surviving! Unluckily, her new companions might want to murder her because she's like sand in the Vaseline. Luckily, her liger best friend, Edie, will help her stay alive. Sorta.
This reads mostly as a Baldur's Gate 3 playthrough with in-game dialog as a jumping-off point for lots of non-canon dialog that I think is funny. Your mileage will vary.
Oh, and awkward attempts at emotional depth and smut. It's not deliberately or amusingly bad: I just lack emotional depth and ideas for creative bedroom shenanigans. But I'm going to just keep on chugging despite the lack of external validation. Though I do love me some external validation (nudge, nudge).
I also post what amounts to a first draft to be fixed. Later.
'Happy' reading!
There's an epilogue for anyone who wants to punish themselves further!
Series
- Part 1 of A Honey Badger in Baldur's Gate