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The halls were empty, all students having filed into class some time ago. Homura always was as late as possible to her first class in each timeline, being given leeway by the teachers due to her heart issues and recent surgery. She would be lying to say it didn't make her nervous even with how many timeloops had passed-- not because of the students per se, as she couldn't care less at this point after being face to face with death so frequently. It was due to one student in particular, two if she counted Sayaka Miki but to a much lesser degree, and that was the one and only, the stunning and beautiful, Madoka Kaname. She shook her head more violently than necessary, having been staring at the door to the classroom for quite an amount of time, imagining herself drooling while staring at nothing and trying to not punch the wall in a surge of embarrassment. She hadn't been drooling- she checked- but the feeling didn't fade as she softly knocked on the door, throwing on her mask as an almost last second thought before it opened and she was ushered inside.
She remembered things being easier the first time around, or harder if she thought more deeply about it. The emotions were harder, unfamiliar territory with unfamiliar people and her heart beating arythmically at the slightest feeling of anxiety that was ever present inside her younger, albeit not physically younger, self. However, the moment she had recovered from surgery she had looked into a mirror and said her introduction over and over and over again for days, then repeated it somewhat flawlessly to the class afterwards. That was many years of looping ago, and she found she didn't have the same abilities to mimic others, her energy spent on much more important things. Thus, when she was pushed to the front of the class and expected to introduce herself, it only surprised her a little bit when her instincts led to her striking quite an odd pose before the many eyes on her. Hands above her head, wrists bent, partially turned to the side, one leg bent, it was almost like the beginning of a very very ungraceful dance, one she didn't follow through with. Instead, she forces her body to be rigid, arms at her sides stiffly, legs shoulder length apart, face with minimal expression - and she recalled with little clarity her original script, managing with a monotone voice to get out "my name is Homura Akemi. It is nice to meet you."
A beat of silence. A pencil rolled off of a desk and when it hit the floor with a soft sound, it was like a dam had been opened, a flurry of activity and talking that poured into her ears. Once again, instinct took over at the grating sound, forcing her eyes toward the etheral goddess herself, Madoka, in an attempt to seek comfort from someone who, in this timeline, had only just learned her name. She was sitting with her arms folded on her desk, pigtails held together messily in pink ribbon that framed her face just so, with the cutest expression of confusion written all over her face, one that increased with proximity. They were so close so suddenly, almost towering over her, all of which happened so fast that Madoka barely had time to lift her head up to see what was going on. The perpetual longing desire for closeness had taken her right to whom she wished most to be with. She struggled with being too jittery the first day of school, even if she masked it beneath her stony exterior, as the multitude of timeloops messed with not only her memory but as a result what she considered appropriate, it wasnt the first time she had accidentally done something to beginning-of-timeline-Madoka that she may have done, in some timelines, to end-of-timeline-Madoka, and this wouldn't be the last. Her hands were on the pink-haired girl's face before her brain could catch up, her one-track mind seeking the soft lips that she had felt sporadically through the years, only to find her imagination was much stronger than normal. Time slowed to a complete stop, both with bliss and horror as she realized she had actually kissed Madoka in real time. In front of the entire class. To someone she had technically just met. She was glad to have stopped time almost absentmindedly the moment their lips connected, realizing something was very wrong in the back of her mind even as her body was on autopilot.
Homura was just glad to know that Madoka would have found it very funny and endearing in other timelines, and even this one if she played her cards right, which is the only reason she was able to push away the guilt and horror and not reset the timeline right then and there. She spent too much energy on the previous days making everything as perfect as possible; she wouldn't waste it because of her own social failures. Time still frozen, she didn't really know what to do. Even in her years of experience she hadn't fumbled this hard in quite a while, so the only reasonable solution was also the most insane. She calmly walked back to where she had been moments before, hoping her stupid plan would work because of her enhanced speed making her appear by Madoka's side and kiss her in the time span of only a second or two. Then, she unfroze time, standing stiffly like she had prior at her spot next to the teacher. The silence was back, but this time with an air of thick confusion permeating the classroom as heads swerved around the room at nothing as if looking at ghosts. When noone spoke, she decided to take action and speak first.
"Sorry," she started, working fully on improv, "did I say something wrong? I've been in the hospital so long, I must be rusty with introductions." She hoped the pity for her would cause a brain malfunction and make them collectively forget the last minute or so.
The teacher, Kazuko Saotome, was quick to respond, almost oozing with guilt. "No- no! Of course not, you did incredible dear. It's just-- did you-- well, I'm was just sure I saw.." She trailed off, glancing around the room helplessly. Madoka herself looked the most confused, particularly when a student in the back asked her friend if she had hallucinated quite loudly. This spread like wildfire, until soon not a single student wasn't talking about their "hallucination," in which crazier and crazier stories, in some of which where Homura had simply vanished out of existence for a moment -- luckily it seemed as if only the teacher and Sayaka Miki herself had "seen" the kiss -- all took place.
Madoka knew one thing for sure, it couldn't have been a hallucination... Could it? Yet when she looked around, everyone seemed to be in agreement, with murmurings of "transfer student induced hysteria", and the teacher apologizing profusely for making Homura believe she had done something wrong. Homura herself was stone-faced and unbothered, minus the repeated twitching of her fingers as she rubbed the fabric of her skirt. Madoka shook her head to focus on what wasn't an apparent hallucination, but when she licked her lips there was an unmistakable taste of plum flavored chapstick. She had a thing for pink and red foods, which culminated in only using products flavored or scented with strawberry or occasionally cherry, usually alongside some sort of sweet smelling flower. The taste remained on her lips even as she licked at them, but it was so faint she could easily delude herself into believing it wasn't actually there.
Homura couldn't handle the mix of the loud classroom and a deep feeling of embarrassment- she hadn't done something so stupid, not to mention risky, in a while- so she cut to the chase before even sitting down. "Can I go to the nurse?" She blurted out, "my, um, heart doesn't feel good." 'Doesn't feel good?' Is she a child? No matter her wording, it seemed she was granted mercy by the passionate way Madoka jumped out of her chair as if to save the day. She sent her a look she couldn't fathom, some form of pity she guessed, before hurrying over to hold her hand, saying the normal spiel about it being her job to escort her as the health officer. Homura nodded too much to be normal as she spoke, almost zoning out at the feeling of her hand in hers. No matter how many times it happened, which truly wasn't all that many with how much death and destruction took up most of her month, it still made her blush obnoxiously and stumble over herself like a school girl- which she was, she supposed. Maybe it was simply destiny.
She was dragged out the door, her magical girl reflexes putting one foot in front of the other until the door shut behind them and she came to her senses. In so many timelines she had asserted herself confidently then lead the way to the nurse's office, but today she found herself guided by a gentle presence and a soft hand. The feelings that came with such a thing hit her hard and the urge to shake her hands to stim was almost too strong to ignore. With her hand occupied, however, and a the shame that came with visibly stimming, she had to find another outlet. She hated the way Madoka made it even harder to mask even if she knew in any other circumstance itd be a good thing. To her mortification, the outlet she sought next was verbal, and a soft meow found its way through her lips, and it was as if she was hit by a freight train. Her body went very cold-- this was becoming a worse and worse first impression, she hadn't even asked her series of suspiciously threatening questions to Madoka about her family yet, was the timeline ruined? It was such a specific stim she hadn't done in front of others in so long- she was really fumbling the bag here, getting worse as time went on. It may just become a timeline where she'd have to go without Madoka's affection in exchange for keeping her alive.
It didn't help that Madoka stopped and turned around very abruptly at the sound. They made very quiet, rather intense eye contact for multiple moments. It seemed to stretch on forever. It felt like peer pressure; Homura only noticed a second too late that Madoka seemed to believe it was yet another hallucination before she was trying to cover up her mistake. All that came to mind, however, was an accidentally-pretty-loud exclamation of "sorry!" before she forced her volume down, but even then all she could do was stammer unintelligible words-- was Madoka judging her? No, Madoka was too sweet-- then what was the intense look about? Why had she--
"No!" Madoka exclaimed as equally as loudly before also making herself quieter, a bit too quiet even as she spoke so passionately, "I mean-- don't apologize! I'm autistic, I vocal stim all the time!" She had let go of Homura's hand while speaking, gesturing excitedly and bouncing on her toes, "I-I'm the one who should be sorry- I was just surprised is all! There's nothing wrong with it!" She paused only to take a breath in between her rambling, before beginning to giggle. A soft, high pitched sound of pure heaven that had Homura relaxing instantly. Madoka opened her mouth to speak before being overcome with giggles again, finally settling on a bright, happy "meow!" in response.
Oh, Homura just ascended. She even felt tears dramatically spring to her eyes at the most adorable display she had ever seen, along with some very strong emotions-- not only had Madoka admitted something so held dear to herself within the first day of meeting her, but also seemed to be so much closer to her in the span of a single interaction, something she had never accomplished before. She had always come off so distantly in the past... what had changed? Could it be, perhaps, that she was more herself, and Madoka, who was also autistic, was enamored by it? She decided to repress that idea and instead tried to pick her jaw off of the floor. Her hands found their way to her hair and rhythmically moved her hands down along a section of hair before releasing it and starting over, cascading like a waterfall and soothing her mind gradually.
Madoka, on the other hand, physically shook with joy and flapped her hands without hesitation or embarrassment- that is, because she didn't feel like she'd be judged. Around her classmates she was more reserved with her stims, Homura knew, which just added more emotions to the mix. Realizing she hadn't responded, she swallowed and nodded to the air. "I am also autistic." She stated flatly, returning to her monotonous voice now that she wasn't overloaded with worry and embarrassment, and had no trouble disclosing such information. She would tell Madoka anything in every timeline. Anything that didn't put her in danger, that is, such as the origin of witches. She didn't usually do it so early, though. She masked too well to need to do such a thing until Madoka eventually brought her own autism up, if at all. Well. Today seemed to put a bit of a dent in her own self image, but she stubbornly held onto the idea that she appeared very neurotypical to the rest of the planet because of her effort to mimic others.
Madoka suddenly straightened, getting her attention. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you needed the nurse-- I didn't mean to distract you!" She looked incredibly, unbelievably guilty, making Homura almost physically jump forward to relieve the sour expression Madoka took on.
"I'm okay!" Her voice was strong and steady, confident in her statement, before she realized she would have to explain why she asked to go to the nurse, then, if nothing was wrong. When not a single good excuse came to mind, she decided to be honest. The interaction was going exceedingly well so far. "I just panicked," she said simply instead, stopping herself from trying to overexplain herself and let it slip that she did, in fact, kiss Madoka, and, no, it wasn't a collective hallucination or transfer student induced mass hysteria. Luckily, Madoka calmed right away, visibly relaxing back to her prior state of joy.
"Oh! I'm glad I was able to help then, I know how scary it can be to talk in front of new people." Madoka smiled in her signature way that embodied sympathy and understanding and she just melted. Maybe she should take this route more frequently in timeloops. It was selfish, especially as getting closer to Madoka often put her in more harms way. However, she reasoned, being trusted more meant an easier time convincing her not to listen to Kyubey. Madoka cleared her throat, suddenly having more to say. "By the way... my, um, lips are chapped, do you have chapstick on you?"
The urge to be close to her overrode any second thought, luckily having her chapstick in her pocket instead of her shield and handing it over instantly. Only after it had transferred hands and she once again became dazed from the simple brush of hands did her mind wander to the indirect kiss of sharing something like that, which then lead to the "collective hallucination" from just minutes ago. She licked her own lips and tasted the remains of her own use of the chapstick and could've fainted on the spot. She remained firm even as she watched Madoka use it herself and then pause as if in deep thought, licking her lips. It was entrancing but no less anxiety inducing. She was a magical girl, she didn't even need chapstick! She only used it because Madoka shyly suggested she use it in one timeline so when they kissed she would taste like plums, chosen because of her purple hair. It was a very.. pleasant memory.. followed by many kisses. She would die before she stopped using it. This belief held firm even as Madoka glanced over at her with her eyebrows furrowed after yet another, more confused lick of her lips. Then, her cheeks turned pink, then most of her face, and then even her neck and the tips of her ears took on that hue, suspiciously turning her attention to the ceiling. Her fingers began to move, touching and rubbing and twirling one another, then they began to rub at her wrists and mess with her shirt, and then Homura knew.
Homura had trouble reading faces at times, but she knew exactly how Madoka would stim when faced with different feelings and emotions. Most importantly, when uncomfortable or embarrassed about something she tended to suppress her stims instinctively. When flustered, however... Homura couldn't help but turn pink herself at the idea that her crush, and girlfriend in some timelines, found the so-called hallucination appealing, to the point that the reminder of such, a taste of the same chapstick, caused her to blush deeply.
A strong, fast bond with Madoka and indications of her liking her... She had admitted in past timelines to finding her pretty when they first met, but it still felt unreal. This is a timeline that seemed so promising already, even with her.. mistakes? She couldn't call them failures when the rewards were so sweet, tasting almost of strawberries.