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Chapter Text

**PREVIOUSLY ON THIS DUMBASS IS KIDNAPPED**
Vince gets kidnapped for something so retarded, which leads to more rockers trying to save him, but end up being the victims. Those rockers are Peter Criss, Ace Frehley, and Steven Tyler. Unfortunately, Steven and Ace passed away from an invisible electrical wall, surrounding the basement. Now, Terror Twins Nikki and Tommy try to save the day, that is, if they succeed. They are on their way...
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Peter: God damnit! I can't believe we're in this situation right now!

Vince: I know right? I mean, it was almost inevitable. He really tricked us good!

Peter: I know right? I just finished my tour and wanted to have a relaxing break, and then I saw his van and I thought it looked cool. I just wanted to compliment his vehicle, but, it really did get to me.

Vince: How unfortunate! I was in a the mood for cocaine and cigarettes and wanted to do both. I asked him if doing both at the same time is possible, but he told me the answer is in the van that jerk!

Vince: Anyways, it's getting late, so let's just rest! *lays down on floor*

Peter: *lays down with Vince* Yeah. Hopefully someone will get us out of this situation.

Vince: Yeah. Hopefully...

Chapter Text

*MEANWHILE AT THE PARK*

Nikki: Tommy, did you find anything yet?

Tommy: No. Not yet.

Nikki: Come on! There's gotta be a clue at least! He must've left something behind!

Tommy: I know he left something here. We just gotta keep looking...

*few minutes of investigation*

Nikki: Wait a minute! *notices van* Tommy! Look what I found!

Tommy: *Notices* *gasps* Oh my God. It's a van!

*Both men takes a closer look at the vehicle*

Nikki: Why is it just left out like this? Could this mean something? Oh wait! Didn't Vince's girlfriend say something about a van?! Could this be... His car?!

Capturer: *comes out of nowhere* Why hello there Terror Twins! Looks like you found my van!

Tommy: *snaps in anger* We're not gonna let you get away with this! We're gonna call the police on you!

Capturer: For what? A car accident? Sorry!

Nikki: No. More like, you'll be sorry! Once you get caught!

Capturer: *annoyed* Who do you think you are?!

Tommy: Let's get him!!!

Nikki: Yeah!

*fighting sequence*

Capturer: Nope. That's not very smart of you boys. I'm actually unrealistically strong so... *lifts van with one hand and smacks the two with it*

Tommy: Oh son of a bitch! I'm really hurt!

Nikki: *groans in pain* What the-- *gets knocked unconsciously*

Capturer: Hahaha! Foolish imbeciles! Thinking you can stop me! *shoves their bodies into the van*

Capturer: Off to my house! *drives off*

Chapter Text

*Tommy and Nikki gets thrown in*

Tommy: *gets up* Oh damn. That van hit me like a bitch, almost like how I hit Pamela Anderson...

Tommy: Oh my God! Nikki! Wake up man! Please!

Peter: Oh nice! New visitors!

Tommy: Wait! You're the guys that got kidnapped! My God! That jerk! He's the one that did this to you guys!

Peter: How I got here is I just wanted to compliment his cool van. Then, I asked if I can take a little ride on his van. That's when I got taken.

Tommy: ...You walked into a strangers car? Why? What made you do this?

Peter: He seemed like any other nice fan. I didn't think he would actually do something this crazy, okay?

Tommy: ...So you're telling me that you went into a STRANGERS van that you don't know all because it "looked cool"?

*long awkward silence*

Peter: ...Yeah, but anyways, the story goes much deeper than that.

Tommy: You're dumb.

Tommy: Wait a minute! I just realized this now! Why the fuck is Ace Frehley just laying down here?!

Vince: Oh! Him? Well, he died because he's a FUCKING idiot!

Tommy: ...

Peter: He didn't learn after I just warned him about the invisible electrical walls. That's why we didn't try escaping! But nooo, I guess he didn't learn after he literally witnessed Steven Tyler die from it! God, some people are just too stupid...

Tommy: Wait! Steven was here? Then... *looks around* where is he???

Vince: We.... Ate him...

Tommy: WHAT THE FUCK?!!!! Are you gonna eat me next??? Jesus christ! *backs away from them* Nikki! Wake up! Don't eat him next!!! Get the fuck away from me! God... Weird people...

Peter: We're not gonna eat you! We just got too hungry! Look! He was literally dead! We had to at least put use to the dead bodies! Somehow...

Tommy: Come on! Wake up already! *aggressively bangs Nikki's head on the ground*

Nikki: *wakes up* Oh god... What the-- The fuck?! Where are we???

Tommy: We've been kidnapped bro.

Nikki: What?! Oh God no! Wait! We can just run out of here! The door is left open.

Peter: Oh no! No! No! Don't make the same mistake like the others did!

Nikki: What mistake?

Peter: You see, they're idiots, and they literally didn't listen after I told them, TWICE, that there's an invisible electrical wall. When you go through it, you get electrocuted, and then you die!

Tommy: Wow. The only smart thing I've ever heard you say...

Peter: WHAT?! Excuse me?!

Tommy: What? I'm just stating the facts.

Peter: Do you want me to throw you in?!

Tommy: I don't know. I thought you would throw yourself in it...

Peter: That's it! You wanna fight you little shit?!

Tommy: No thanks, catboy...

Nikki: Guys! Stop fighting! Can't you see that we got kidnapped?! We got to get out of here!

Vince: But how?!

Nikki: Hmmm, maybe he left something here that can turn off the wall's electricity...

Capturer: *walks in* Hahaha! Think you're so smart? Well guess what? I have the button! Which means, you'll never access it! Man, you people are too stupid, this is getting too easy.

Nikki: ...You're a fucking asshole! Did you know that?

Capturer: Oh! Why thank you! I appreciate the compliments.

Peter: No seriously! You are such an asshole! And also, you're ugly! Like, go get a haircut! Gosh...

Capturer: I least I even have good hair.

Peter: ...

Everyone else: ...

Vince: Anyways, there's gotta be a reason for all this! At least!

Capturer: Because I feel like it! *yawn* Well, looks like I still have a job to do. Oh well, now it's lunchtime! *walks off*

Peter: (anger) Hey! Come back here! Come-- Oh my god!!!

Peter: Man, I wanted lunch too...

Nikki: Bruh, really???

Nikki: Wait! Guys! Why didn't we just use our walkie talkies to contact our manager for help???

Vince: We would use them if he didn't, you know, break them while we're crashing!

Nikki: You gotta be kidding me! I hope the police are making progress so far...

Chapter Text

*THE PARK*

Police 1: Jesus Christ! It's only getting worse! This time the the Terror Twins got kidnapped! Maybe we should install cameras in this park, or something.

Police 2: Man, if we knew how to do our jobs, maybe we would find everyone by now.

Police 1: You're fired.

Police 2: ...WHAT?!

Axl: *walks in* Alright guys, you better not-- *notices police* What the hell is this about?!

Police 1: Excuse me sir, I suggest you and your band must leave this park immediately. There's been six cases of rockstars getting kidnapped in the exact area you're in.

Slash: Kidnapping? Oh shit! We should leave!

Axl: Oh, shut the fuck up about this "scary" shit! Not like this guy can get near us! We'll be just fine. We can just kick his ass.

Police 1: (in his head) Oh God, not one of these pretentious rockers! Fuck, FUCK!

Duff: Um, Axl, I don't think that could work.

Axl: Shut up Duff! Who do you think we are, Motley Crue?! We're gonna be just damn fine! Anyways, let's just fucking go. *walks off*

Police 1: Oh God, you guys are in danger. I suggest you keep an eye on him.

Slash: Oh well, time to die. *follows Axl*

Duff: Oh shit.

*transition*

Axl: Alright guys, you just do whatever you like. We can still enjoy ourselves! *starts drinking a bottle of alcohol*

Duff: In the middle of the night... with a criminal on loose...

Slash: You know what? Let's just get out of here. I'd rather get kicked out of the band for a week than die!

Duff: Yeah. That clearly sounds more better.

Slash: Let's make a quick run for it and try to find the safest place.

Duff: Okay.

Narrator: Duff and Slash begin to run off. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that a white van was slowly, but quietly driving near them...

Slash: Okay, there's the exit. Let's just go for it!

Capturer: *rolls down window and shouts from behind* Why hello there boys! Are you lost?

Duff: *turns behind* Um, no, not at all. We're just leaving the park.

Capturer: Oh. I see. But what are two doing in a park... at night... ALONE~

Slash: *whispers to Duff* Look, I already don't trust this guy. He's giving me the creeps, and he has a face of a criminal. Let's just run as fast as we can.

Duff: Okay. Let's do it now.

Slash: ...

Duff: ...

*Slash and Duff start running*

Capturer: *drives towards them and runs them over*

Duff and Slash: AHHHHHH! *gets crushed by van*

Capturer: Hmmm, I wonder what's under my van... *reverses vehicle off the bodies*

Capturer: Yay! New kidnap victims! *throws their bodies into the van and drives off*

Chapter Text

*BASEMENT*

Nikki: God, I'm starting to get really claustrophobic here!

*Slash and Duff gets thrown in*

Nikki: *eyerolls in disappointment*

Tommy: *gasps* Oh my God! It's Slash and Duff! They're from Guns n Roses this time!

Duff: *gets up* What the-- Where are we?!

Nikki: You've been kidnapped, like the rest of us!

Peter: Yeah! Remember me guys? I'm on TV!

Vince: Yeah! Wait, what???

Slash: Oh shit! We gotta get out of here!

Tommy: You can't bro. There's literally an invisible electrical wall here. When you go through it, you get electrocuted and die.

Nikki: Yeah, like that idiot over there! *points at Ace*

Slash: And I bet that Axl won't even report this to the police!

Nikki: God fucking damnit! FUCK! I swear to God! More and more people are gonna get kidnapped, and no one is here to help us!

Vince: Oh man! This is terrible! I don't even know how long we've been here! Whatever, I'm just gonna rest-- AHHHHHH! *trips over into invisible electrical wall*

Everyone: ...

Peter: Oh, would you look at that! He's dead! Wow! SHOCKER!

Tommy: Oh well, it was kind of bound to happen when you don't watch your steps with big ass heels like that, but oh well...

Duff: Guys! Are you kidding me?! He died!!!

Slash: Holy shit! Our first dead body ever seen!

Tommy: There was another one there *points at Ace*, but not like he mattered anyways...

Ace: *quietly muffles* Oh fuck. My leg...

Tommy: Wait! *hears Ace* Did you guys just hear him mumble?!

Ace: *slowly gets up* Plot twist! I wasn't dead this whole time!!!

Tommy: Wait, WHAAAT?!

Ace: Damn! How dare you guys! You guys ate my friend!

Slash: Hold up...YOU GUYS ATE SOMEONE?!

Tommy: No, seriously! How are you alive?! Explain yourself!

Ace: I'm actually strong as fuck man! My organs are probably so strong, that the electricity didn't kill me! So I really am the Spaceman after all!

Tommy: ...You're dumb as hell man.

Nikki: Wait! Can this be the possibility of us surviving after going through the electrical borders?!

Peter: But what does he have that we don't?

Ace: Talent.

Peter: Shut up. I'm gonna pee on you!

Ace: Oh fuck no!

Peter: You know what? Forget it. I don't see the point on surviving this. No one is gonna save us anyways! And even if I do go through the wall, at least I get the sweet release of DEATH! Goodbye losers! AHHHHHH! *jumps through electrical wall and dies*

Nikki: Noooo! Oh wait, I didn't care anyways...

Capturer: *walks in* Haha! Foolish imbeciles! Killing themse-- *notices Ace is alive* WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!?!?!

Ace: Hey curly! :D

Capturer: How are you alive?!... Oh wait! I know why. I forgot to turn on your electrical chip.

Ace: My what?

Capturer: *activates the chip with a button*

Ace: *gets electrocuted yet again*

Capturer: Okay now he's actually dead!

Everyone: WHAAATTT?!?!?!?!?!

Tommy: Wait a minute! Did you put some electrical chip on us?!

Capturer: Yep.

Tommy: Can we get it out?

Capturer: Nope. It's inside you~ So you'll never get it out.

Tommy: Well, can we shit it out?

Capturer: Nope. *walks away*

Tommy: ...Oh come on!

TO BE CONTINUED...