Work Text:
Tav looked over at Astarion and stared at his soft, white curls, watching the way they folded around his ears with such ease. He looked comfortable again; he looked like he felt in control, and that was exactly what he needed.
“Come sit in my lap,” Astarion almost purred, his tone surprisingly far from seductive. It was loving, gentle…comfortable.
“Are you…sure?” Tav asked him, her eyes still focused on his icy locks. There was a genuineness to her tone that he, in time, had grown to appreciate; it wasn’t that she didn’t trust his judgement, but rather that she wanted him to know he was free to make a choice. Unfortunately, he still sometimes needed that reminder.
“Please,” he assured her, gently holding out his hand for her to take.
Her gaze shifted to his scarlet eyes as they searched for any signs of doubt, dissociation. Instead, she found trust.
Tav smiled and took his hand, finally giving him the chance to pull her into his awaiting lap.
Astarion’s nightshirt was loose and thick against his skin, creating a comforting barrier between himself and Tav. His pants were of a thinner material but they were just as loose, letting him move as freely as he wanted.
She wasn’t paying much attention to her own relaxed outfit as Astarion pulled her body close to his, simply enjoying the warmth and pressure of her body intertwined with his.
“Can I kiss you, then?” Tav smiled, knowing it would make him laugh. He didn’t like using his words to answer that sort of question, surprisingly, and instead of nodding or giving any kind of non-verbal cue to preface, he kissed her.
She grinned as Astarion’s lips met her own, the sensation soft and warm and wet. Her hands were slow to explore him as they followed their usual pattern, much to Astarion’s silent approval. For many months, this had been their routine: small touches that eventually escalated to her sitting in his lap, each enjoying the physical presence of the other. He’d always rather enjoyed kissing Tav, however, and usually found a way to incorporate it regardless of what they were doing.
“I could simply kiss you forever,” he whispered into her mouth in between very short pauses. “And I’m immortal, darling…so that is quite the compliment.”
He reveled in the way her lips smiled against his, playfully trying to fight the grin he’d caused. It was enough to make him pull away so he could admire her smile with his own eyes.
Tav stared back at him appreciatively, never letting her eyes linger on one part of him for too long. Her greediness got the better of her, however, as she found herself staring into his eyes again, still trying to read them.
“What is it, darling?” he suddenly asked as he tucked a piece of her hair back, still admiring her face. Still thanking the gods for bringing her into his life, despite the circumstances.
“I’m just trying to make sure you’re alright, that this isn’t…too much for you,” she replied tentatively.
“My love,” he smiled, letting his hand drape loosely against her arm, “as long as you are by my side, I will always be alright. Your beauty…your patience is unmatched. You’re everything.”
“Astarion,” she smiled again, and he smiled too, the expression reaching his eyes. They sat like that in comfortable silence for a few quiet moments, observing the beauty in each other.
He leaned in towards her lips, aligning his own with hers so that he was only a tremble away from making contact with them.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked cheekily, and preferring the concision of a physical reaction, she kissed him.
Their lips formed together in twisting waves as neither of them fought for dominance, creating instead a steady ebb and flow of flesh meeting flesh.
Astarion’s hands found themselves in their usual spot, resting at the lowest point of Tav’s back with a less than gentle grip. She liked the way his hands fit around her, though, as he held her perfectly close to him.
Her arms were around his neck, hanging loosely against his shoulders as she pressed herself tighter against him, only following the desire of his tightening grip.
Astarion meant what he had said. He could spend forever in this moment with her, their bodies pressed together as they enjoyed the sensations of the other’s presence, neither demanding anything more. It was what he had craved and been deprived of for centuries.
And Tav was more than happy to provide it.
“You taste…so sweet,” he almost grumbled against her lips, the soft vibrations of his voice making her smile.
“You only say that when you’re hungry,” she teased, holding his face gently in her hands. She inspected his tired eyes and began to notice the signs—his eye bags had become noticeably darker and he looked exhausted. He looked hungry, but his eyes did not.
Without hesitation, she pulled her hair away from her neck and presented it to him, warm and unbearably tempting.
“Hmmm,” he smirked as he leaned into her neck and pressed his lips to the wound he’d created just days prior.
Instead of baring his fangs, though, he kissed the tender spot with a surprising gentleness, showing restraint he rarely had towards Tav’s neck. Equally as slowly, he pulled away and fixed her hair so that it covered her shoulders again.
“Aren’t you hungry?” Tav asked him, lowering her hands against his arms so that they rested on his biceps.
“I could eat,” he shrugged, and Tav found herself searching his face once again.
“Well there’s plenty here,” she offered again, but he just shook his head.
“I’ve taken enough, I think,” he said, running one hand through her hair before letting it settle on her cheek. “I don’t want to drain you dry, my love.”
“You know I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think I had it in me,” she laughed, trying to ease the tension she felt building in his arms.
“That’s not…” he trailed off, his eyebrows turning downward as his previous smile faded.
“Astarion, what’s wrong?” Tav asked as she pulled away from him. When he got like this, he seldom liked being touched.
“It’s nothing, I…” he trailed off again, his scarlet eyes frantically darting back and forth as he figured out what to say. “It’s just…well…I don’t want to take anything more from you, you’ve…given so much and been so…patient.
“You’re not taking, Astarion,” she assured him, immediately reaching for his soft hand. “I’m giving it to you. I love you, I…this is how I show my love for you, by giving you a physical part of myself. There is no one else I’d rather give it to.”
His face seemed to perk up at her words, almost believing them. Just one more look into her eyes proved that she meant what she said, though, and his body relaxed into hers.
“I give it to you because I want to, not because you expect me to. I know you better than that,” she smirked, and to her delight, he found his expression matching hers.
“That is…a relief, to hear,” he sighed, the smile on his lips just barely faltering. “I don’t ever, ever want you to feel like—”
“I know,” she breathed, softly rubbing circles into his hand. “I don’t.”
He nodded slowly as the words sank in, absorbing their genuineness. She was real, and if she was real, then her words were real. This love was real.
“You’re real,” he said out loud, still holding her cheek. “This, us, you…it’s real. This is what it’s like, isn’t it?”
“I think so,” Tav laughed as she grabbed his hand from her cheek and slowly pulled it to her mouth. Mumbling against his skin, she said, “But if it’s with you, I want it all. I want the real us.”
“I would like nothing more,” he smirked back, trying to suppress a ticklish grin as he pulled her closer to himself.