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The sun had set over the snow-covered mountains. Only one lantern gave some light into the coming darkness. Lord Shen stood on a narrow balcony of a dilapidated building near a volcano and let the cold wind blow over his white feathers. Small snowflakes danced around him. As if in slow motion, the white peacock stretched out his wing and caught a few of the snowflakes that stuck to his feathers. He examined them carefully. They were white - white like his plumage, and just as fluffy as his feathers. And so light. This crystalline beauty made him wonder why his white beauty had never been admired by others. He stood there impassively for a while, then he rubbed the snowflakes with trembling finger feathers. He was nowhere near as fragile as this frozen water.

He raised his head feathers when he heard footsteps behind him.

"Master? The powder has arrived."

Shen's gaze wandered back where the one-eyed wolf had approached him and he nodded. "Show me."

Together they retreated from the coldness into the warm room. The building consisted of several halls, which were crossed by many ladders and stairs. In one of the vestibules, where the gate led outside, several barrels were stacked. One of the wolves was about to roll in the last barrel, but he slipped on an icy spot. The barrel slipped from his paws and the lid, including its contents, burst open.

"Damn it! Can't you pay attention?!" The one-eyed wolf immediately jumped down the floor and landed on the floor with a loud crash. "Or do you want to blow us all up?! With all the lamps and torches hanging around here, the whole thing could explode!"

"Are there any problems?" Shen asked in a warning tone and walked down the stairs to them with honor.

The one-eyed wolf gave one of the other wolves a kick in the shin before answering, "Nothing, master. They just don't realize the seriousness of the situation yet."

Shen raised an eyebrow. "Then train them. And if they don't learn, then chastise them. You hear?"

The one-eyed wolf bowed his head submissively. "Yes, master."

Shen turned away from him and opened one of the barrels. He didn't even look at the powder scattered on the floor. He reached in and inspected the gunpowder inside. Carefully and slowly, he rubbed it between his finger feathers. It was different from the snowflakes he had in his wings earlier.

He nodded. "Perfect quality. Store it in isolation." With that, he hid his wings back in his robe. "Dispose of the powder on the floor. I prefer only the best for my plan." He turned away.

"Where are you going, master?" asked the one-eyed wolf.

Shen turned to him with an indifferent expression. "Just a tour."

He had barely disappeared around the next corner when he heard the one-eyed wolf command: "Sweep it up and get rid of it!"

Lost in thought, the white peacock walked through the old but sturdy factory building. Having to call this run-down hut his new home was beneath him, but it offered him protection and, above all, a chance to continue pursuing his plan undisturbed. At first, he had just wandered aimlessly through the country until he found this small building in the lonely mountains next to a volcano, which had once been used to collect and store volcanic rock. However, for his plan to set up a factory, he had to do a lot of construction work on the dwelling. Or, more precisely, his wolf pack. That was almost two years ago now. And 4 years in total had passed since he had been banished from Gongmen City. And even if this building was almost perfect, everything was still in need of getting used to. Someone like him, who had lived in a palace since childhood, was used to better things. But instead of expensive furniture and clean floors, he had to make do with dirt and bare walls. Maybe he could have found somewhere else to stay, but at least, no one could spy on him here. Especially because no one was allowed to know what he was planning to do with China.

He paused. He had reached the lowest floor, where the basement was. It was the loneliest and darkest part of the building. Not even the wolves liked to be here. He walked along the torch-lit wall until he came to a large wooden door, where he could hear a quiet singing behind. He listened and raised the corners of his beak slightly. So she was singing again. At first, he had thought it was childish. But now he liked listening to her singing. She sang this children's song at different times. Mostly at night, though. For a while, he had even come by every night to hear it.

Shen stretched out his wing and moved the lever that locked the door. The singing stopped immediately. He waited a few seconds before pushing the door open and entering. Behind it was a dark cell. Only a lantern and two or three candles in a corner lit it. But the light was enough to show Shen where she was. Because of the white patches in her fur, it was not difficult for him to find her. The black and white creature was sitting on a bed of straw in a corner. As he approached, she rose in a crouched position. Shen smiled inwardly. Somehow he enjoyed it when someone respected him when he entered, rather than just the wolves, who obeyed him more out of a sense of duty. Chains clinked. That was probably not necessary, but he still thought it would be best to chain her up to prevent her from escaping.

Something fell down and rolled in front of Shen's feet. Shen looked at the object in surprise. It was a little bear filled with straw. She had made a bear doll.

He smiled mockingly at the improvised toy. "Extremely primitive." He kicked it with his foot and pushed it back to her. "Imaginary friends aren't enough for you, are they?"

She didn't answer. Without saying a word, she picked up the stuffed bear again.

Shen turned to the side and walked a few steps. "But what else can we expect from hillbillies like you pandas. You have no civilized behavior."

Again she said nothing. The panda woman just stood there with her head bowed.

Shen raised an eyebrow. He had never ordered her to be silent and wondered why she never responded to his sarcasm. Was she planning something after all? He looked at her carefully. He gave her just enough food and water to keep her alive. She also had no contact with anyone except him. Only when a wolf brought her food, but otherwise she was completely isolated. It was impossible that she would prepare an escape. Or did she?

"You are very quiet as always," he began again. "Were you like that among your own kind?"

Finally she raised her eyes. "No," she answered quietly.

"Well, I see you haven't forgotten how to speak." Shen was reluctant to admit it, but sometimes he liked to talk to her. Even if he never said it, and above all, never showed it. Somehow her voice calmed him down, even if he himself was not a particularly pleasant conversationalist. Because usually, he only made derogatory comments. And so it was today.

"Anyway," he continued, taking a few steps again, "no matter how much you and your clan had hoped for it, but today I have come one step closer to my goal." He stopped and gave her a condescending, mocking look. "The plan to stop me will fail in any case. And I will prove it to everyone." Actually, this only applied to those who knew about the soothsayer, and there weren't many of them, but Shen suspected that it might have been a topic of conversation in Gongmen City. Who knew whether that old goat hadn't told everyone about it.

Once again he waited that she objects, but this time too there was no reply.

"Well, if you like keep quiet," Shen concluded, "but you can't close your eyes to the truth." He turned to the door. "If you're lucky, you'll even see me successfully move toward victory." A cold smile slid across his beak. "And who knows, maybe you will become my final victim in my triumphal march."

"Master," the one-eyed wolf spoke to Shen on one of the stairs after he had left the cellar. "We have carefully locked the barrels away. However, what you are planning will not be enough. It could take years until we have all the materials together in this quantity. And we have no money to pay it."

Shen raised his beak indifferently. "Then just take it, just like you took the gunpowder. No matter how long it takes, it's the only way to get what I want."

"What does he want?" a younger wolf asked.

"Don't ask such stupid questions!" the one-eyed wolf snapped at him. "Just do your job."

What did he want?

This question crossed Shen's mind until late at night. After he had settled down in his bed in his room, this question kept going through his head.

What did he want?

It was the goal. The goal that he had been trying to achieve all his life. But sometimes he had the feeling that this goal of gaining respect from everyone in China would become more distant if he didn't hurry.

It would take several years, the alpha wolf of the pack had said.

Sighing, Shen turned onto his side. He was tired, but he just couldn't get a good night's sleep because of all these questions.

Blinking, his gaze fell on his long sword, which was leaning against the wall next to his bed. It was the only object he could take with him from his homeland.

His stomach clenched.

His homeland.

But his homeland no longer wanted him.

He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Again his thoughts drifted to his old home. Only a few years ago, he had looked at a much more beautiful ceiling where he had been lying in his bed in the palace. This ceiling looked different. But one day, he had sworn to himself, he would live in splendor and luxury again. But this time, however, with fame and everyone would admire him for it.

With a sigh, he turned on his side and dug his finger feathers into the straw pillow.

He only wanted to be truly happy just once in his life.

Over the next few days, things got busier in the 'factory', as he called this shack. On Shen's orders, the wolves had swarmed out again and stolen things further out in the area. They were after the gunpowder in particular for the time being. The wolves returned successfully that afternoon, too. Shen stood on one of the wooden parapets and watched contentedly as the wolves carefully rolled the barrels in.

"Watch out!" the one-eyed wolf instructed them.

"Yes, yes," one of the group growled annoyed.

Shen shook his head disapprovingly from the bridge and turned away.

"Ah, finally, we have caught you, thieves!" someone unknown yelled into the hall.

Alarmed, Shen whirled around. Five boars stood in the gate and pointed threateningly at the barrels.

"Give us back our powder immediately!" one of the boars thundered.

The one-eyed wolf stepped forward. "Well, just our luck. You should have been more careful. Now, it's ours."

The boars had to accept that they couldn't win with words, so they pulled out their weapons which they had brought with them and attacked the wolves. The wolves immediately went on the defensive and fended them off with punches and kicks. The one-eyed wolf got his hammer and defended himself most successfully with it. However, no one had expected the boars' determination, so it looked as if the boars would be able to recapture their barrels. Shen, who was watching everything from above, jumped from the parapet and landed on the ground with a bang. At first, the boars were irritated by the appearance of the fine-boned peacock, but they didn't hesitate to attack him, too. But Shen was far superior to them with his agility. He was also a more dangerous opponent with his long sword and almost forced the intruders back outside.

Finally, one of the boars dared to jump into the hall again. He grabbed a torch from the holder, smashed one of the barrels and threw the burning piece of wood into the powder. In the same second, the boars fled.

Shen, who had been too distracted by the other boars, recognized the danger a moment too late.

The one-eyed wolf could only shout one thing: "TAKE COVER!"

Shen jumped to the side. Shortly afterwards, there was a deafening noise, accompanied by a hard, painful shock wave that hurled the white peacock out of the hall. The wave of the explosion only knocked him unconscious for a few seconds, then he began to blink again.

"Master? Master?" it echoed through his head, as if the voices were coming from far away. But he didn't notice anything more. He only saw the snow he was lying on and the ash flakes raining down next to him. As if in a trance, he shakily reached out his wing towards it. Ash collected on his feathers. They were fluffy like snow, only not as white ... This sight lulled him into a dreamless sleep.

"... He needs a doctor ..."

"... Where are we supposed to find one? We're sitting here in the middle of nowhere. The nearest one is several days away. With all the mountains around ..."

Shen blinked. A lantern shone in the room and he didn't take long to realize that he was lying on his stomach in bed in his room.

"He's got a good blow in the back," he heard the younger wolf say.

"Oh, just shut up," the one-eyed wolf reprimanded him. "If you hadn't been so sloppy, they wouldn't have followed you here."

Shen suppressed a scream as a blazing pain shot through his shoulder and back. With his beak clenched, he jerked himself up. Behind him stood the one-eyed wolf with a pair of pliers in his paw, with that he had just been pulling a few splinters of wood out of his shoulder. Close behind him stood the younger wolf with his head bowed, intimidated. Coughing, the peacock sat up, still tasting some blood in his beak. His other, lighter wounds on his feet had only been provisionally treated.

"Where are these troublemakers?" he gasped. He was still a little dizzy.

"They disappeared shortly after the explosion," the one-eyed wolf reported. "They probably just wanted to get one over on us."

Shen moved his shoulder, which still hurt like hell, but he tried not to show it. He carefully felt his back, where it was a little damp. When he pulled his wing back, it was still a little stained with blood.

"Like I said," the younger wolf said, "shouldn't a doctor do this? It doesn't look good at all."

The one-eyed wolf slapped him in the face. "I told you, the only doctor is in a village several days away from here and we've already stolen things from there. Do you think he'll come with us after this?"

"Then we'll force him to ..."

"Keep quiet!" Shen instructed them. "Just wash the wound. It'll be fine."

It took some persuasion before the wolves could be persuaded to simply treat the wound with a rag of hot water and bandage it. Then Shen told them to leave his room. As soon as they were outside, Shen angrily banged on the edge of the bed. He could only hope that he didn't really need a doctor. But since he was living in exile, he couldn't expect any help from outside. He had to manage it on his own.

It was impossible for Shen to sleep that night. He had to lie on his stomach, because his back hurt so much. In the next morning, the pain didn't subside either, but was replaced by a throbbing pain. And Shen, who had always had problems with his health, knew only too well what that meant. He got out of bed and went to a wall mirror. There he pushed his robe down and looked at the sore spot.

"Damn it!" he growled angrily and pulled his robe back up. As he had feared, his wound had completely ulcerated. Tired and dejected, he made a bowl of hot water. In his room, he had everything he needed for life and his work, so he had everything ready in no time. Then he took off his robe and dipped a rag in the scalding hot water. He hesitantly let it fall onto his back on the wound. In the same second, he buried his face in a pillow and screamed.

"I should do what, master?" The one-eyed wolf stared at Shen in horror after he had pressed a knife into his paws.

"I can't cut my own back," Shen growled back. He was sitting on a chair, his robe and bandage removed from his shoulder, revealing his wound. Although he was sure he had opened the wound with the hot water, the intense pain had not subsided. "Just cut where I'm pointing."

The wolf swallowed. "But I don't know anything about it. I know where to stab if I have to kill someone. But something like that ..."

"Just cut where I'm pointing," Shen interrupted gruffly.

The wolf swallowed. "Are you sure, master?"

"Cut it open!"

It wasn't a pleasant procedure to have someone cut into a shoulder in a fresh wound. Shen had to clench his beak to keep from screaming in pain.

"That's enough," Shen said after the wolf had gotten the pus out as he had instructed. "I'll do the rest."

The one-eyed wolf looked at him in surprise. "Shouldn't we get a doctor after all ...?"

"I'm my own doctor," Shen growled. He wanted the wolf to finally leave the room so he could let his accrued tears flow freely. "I'll wash the rest out with hot water." He pushed the wolf out through the door. As soon as the door was closed, Shen leaned over his bed, clawing his finger feathers into the bedclothes and cried, trembling and tense. "I'll kill everyone!" he hissed angrily, his tears dripping uncontrollably onto the bed. "I'll kill everyone for this!"

After he had regained some control of himself, he grabbed a towel and pressed it into the bowl of water as if he wanted to drown it in it. Then he cleaned the cut on his shoulder, squinting and shaking his eyes. Finally, he wrapped a bandage on it as best he could. When he lay in bed a little later, he could hardly feel any relief even after that, but he just had to endure it. Sighing, he snuggled up in the blanket. He felt so lost for the first time in his life in exile. Wolves were good for killing, but less good for medical care.

"Stupid bunch!" he cursed inwardly.

The next day, things didn't get any better. Shen even had the feeling that it had gotten worse again. He didn't feel well most of the time. He hardly even touched his food. Nevertheless, he tried to behave normally. He even walked through the halls as he often did and gave the impression that nothing had happened. The one-eyed wolf came towards him on one of the many ladders.

"Master, is everything okay?" The one-eyed wolf looked at him carefully.

Shen took a deep breath. "Everything is okay. How are the deliveries?"

"Because of all the snow outside, we couldn't go out now," the wolf explained. "We have to wait until the weather becomes better."

Shen nodded slowly. Even he couldn't do anything about the weather.

"Is everything really okay, master?" the wolf asked again. "You're walking so hunched."

Shen immediately straightened his posture. "No, it's just the sleeping accommodation. The beds here are nowhere near as comfortable as in the palace."

Almost two days passed. The weather became better, but Shen's wound did not. In the middle of the night, the peacock felt an unpleasant itch on his back, which forced him to leave his bed and go to the mirror again to examine his wound. And what he saw did not please him at all. He carefully stroked it with a finger feather and winced, cursing quietly. The wolf seemed to have made a total mess.

"I told you, I don't know how … I know how to gut a fish …"

"It doesn't matter now," Shen interrupted the one-eyed wolf, who was standing embarrassed in the room.

Shen turned away, nervously holding his shoulder. If he did nothing, it would only get worse.

"So should we get a doctor now?" the one-eyed wolf asked.

Shen took a deep breath and turned to him with a dark look. "Well, since you and the others are incompetent at such things, I guess I have no other choice. And that's not my fault! If it weren't on my back, I would have done it alone long ago." He threateningly pushed the one-eyed wolf towards the door. "So, get someone who's better than you!"

Fortunately, Shen didn't have to wait too long. Within almost two days, the wolves had found someone and "persuaded" him to come with them. Even if reluctantly. In any case, the old langur, a slender species of monkey, was reluctant to come into the factory building when the wolves maneuvered him in.

"Master, this is the only doctor we could find in a hurry," the one-eyed wolf reported and pushed the langur into the room.

Shen eyed the doctor carefully. He was already old and wore worn clothes.

"You have a very cheeky way of asking someone to come to an appointment," the langur complained.

Shen made a gesture of refusal and at the same time he sent the wolf away. "You don't have to worry about that. Just do your job and you can go."

The langur wrinkled his nose briefly. "And what exactly is it?"

"Explosion injury," was Shen's short answer, and he turned his back so that the doctor could see the wound. Shen had no inhibitions. He was used to the presence of doctors. He had been surrounded by doctors long enough in his childhood that it was almost a daily routine for him. "In my opinion, you have to cut it open."

The langur rubbed his chin. "Indeed, you should." He rummaged in the bag, which he had brought with him, and filled a glass. Then he handed it to Shen. "First drink this for the inflammation."

Shen took the glass without resistance and drained it. He wanted to get rid of his symptoms as quickly as possible. After he had done that, he noticed a strange bitter taste in his beak. He shook himself in disgust. If only medicine tasted better. But then his vision went dizzy. Somehow he couldn't feel his legs anymore. "What ... what have you ...?" Shen sank to the ground.

The langur folded his arms. "Did you really think, I would help a murderer? Your henchmen have been attacking villages all over the mountains. Several people have died."

With the last of his strength, Shen pulled himself up and stood confidently, albeit a little shaky, on his feet for a moment. "If you say I'm a murderer ... then I'll gladly act accordingly ..." With the last of his strength for precision and speed, Shen threw a dagger that hit the doctor directly in the chest. The langur sank lifeless to the ground. Shen could hardly stand on his feet and also collapsed.

At that moment, the one-eyed wolf came through the door, having been alerted by the quiet thumping. When he saw his master lying on the ground, he rushed forward. "Master? Is everything okay?"

Shen leaned on his wings, trembling. "Salt ... with water ... lots of salt."

While the wolves were disposing of the doctor's body somewhere in the mountains, Shen had recovered from the poisoning after emptying his stomach with the highly concentrated salt solution. Then he crouched down on the lowest floor of the building, his body shaking slightly. It took him a while to process what had happened before, shaking his head in disbelief every now and then. That was the first time in his life that a doctor had tried to kill him. Otherwise, it had always been the case that the doctors had fought for his life. Ever since he was born. Now everything seemed to be turning against him. Apparently, he could no longer rely on anyone. Either the wolves were no good, or someone else wanted to kill him. He buried his face in the wings. He was about to cry when he suddenly heard a quiet singing from a distance echoing through the corridors. He raised his head. The panda woman was singing in her cell again. Slowly, he stood up and followed the singing. In front of the door, he leaned his head against it and listened. After shaking off the pain from his face, he opened the heavy door and confidently stepped into the room. The singing stopped. Inside everything looked as usual. The lantern and the candles were in their usual place and the panda woman was sitting on the straw bed as usual. When Shen entered, she got up.

"I heard a tremor," she began immediately, to Shen's surprise. She was never the first to speak. "Had something happened?"

"Just a slight explosion," Shen dismissed her question. This wicked panda creature must not under any circumstances think he was vulnerable, "no more. It was just a test for my weapon."

The panda bowed her head. "But I was told you were wounded."

Shen cursed the wolf pack again. Apparently, one of the wolves that brought her the food had nattered. "It was just a misunderstanding," he lied. "It was someone else."

He raised his beak arrogantly and turned back to the door.

"Oh my goodness! Does anything hurt?" the panda asked.

Shen paused in surprise. "Why?"

"You're bleeding from your back."

Quickly, Shen touched behind him and pulled his robe over his shoulder. In fact, a blood stain had formed on the fabric.

Damn it! The wound had started bleeding again. He had tried to seal it as best as he could. Apparently, he had missed a spot.

"Th-that's ... nothing!" Shen said, turning around so that she could no longer see his back.

"Is that from the explosion?" she asked.

Shen couldn't think of a suitable excuse. "So what? It doesn't bother me."

"Wasn't anyone able to treat you?" she asked. "You must have gotten a lot of particles in the wound then."

Shen's beak trembled with anger. "That's got nothing to do with you?! And anyway, what do you know about it, primitive lifeform?"

"My family was very well versed in medicine for a while generations before. I still know some things from my great-grandmother."

Shen wrinkled his beak and wanted to disappear through the door again.

"That could be a serious infection ..."

"Do you think I don't know anything about it?" Shen interrupted her. "I've washed the wound often enough."

"With medicine?"

Shen sighed inwardly, but at the same time, he put on an angry expression again. "It can be done without."

"There are definitely herbs in the mountains that could help against it ..."

"I can do without your primitive advice!" Shen interrupted her. "I'm tougher than you think."

The panda woman shook her head. "Maybe it won't kill you, but you might not be able to move your shoulder later if it gets infected."

Shen snorted and disappeared outside. "Save your breath for your last breath, which you will take one day." With these words, he slammed the door.

Shen spent that night almost sleepless. Not only because of his sore shoulder, but also because his thoughts kept wandering back to the conversation with the panda woman. Should he perhaps accept her suggestions after all? Could he trust her or would she try to poison him just like the doctor? She had shown no signs of aggression or deceit over the years, but he still feared that she might harm him if the opportunity arose. But then, he remembered their conversation a few years ago, when he had asked her about parental love. How she had held his wing. Shen could see it just as clearly as he had back then. Her touch had been so tender. For the first time, it had numbed him inside. How she had tried to make him understand parental love ... He sighed heavily. He didn't really have the impression that this panda woman hated him, but he didn't know how to classify her behavior either. She had never uttered a bad word against him. No matter how often he had scolded her. By now, they had somehow gotten used to each other. But how far could he go without running the risk of being taken over by her?

Brooding and restless, Shen turned onto his back, but immediately he sat up again when he pressed on his wound. Wistfully, he got out of bed and rubbed his face wearily. But he couldn't go on like that. And what if she was right and one day he really couldn't move his shoulder properly anymore? With everything he had planned, he couldn't do without the integrity of his body. He went to a mirror and looked at his reflection for a long time, asking himself the question over and over again: What should he do?

Sleepily, Shen walked through the halls. He had hardly slept a wink the rest of the night either. He had been lying awake all the time. Either from thinking or from pain. To make matters worse, this morning he realized that it was a throbbing pain again. The wound had started to fester again, but he couldn't allow that the wolf slash his back again. And if that happened even more often now...

Shen angrily hit a wooden wall. Why did he always have problems with his health?

At that moment a younger wolf came by with a tray.

"You!" Shen stopped him. "Where are you going?"

The younger wolf looked at him in shock, as if he had done something wrong. "Me? Er, just bringing the food to the panda …"

Shen knocked the tray out of the wolf's paws. "Prisoners who ask me too many questions don't get anything to eat!" the peacock thundered. "I'll decide when she gets something again. Now get out of here!"

The wolf hastily left, while Shen remained alone with a grim look. Then he strode resolutely into his room and fetched his sword. With it, he went into the cellar and pushed open the door without waiting. And before the panda woman could ask anything, Shen pushed her forcefully into a corner with his sword.

"Very well," Shen growled, "tell me what I need, but don't say what you think. And if you say what you think now, I'll impale you."

At first, there was silence. Then she began to speak hesitantly. "You have to get the lava herb in the mountains next to the volcano. You have to do it in hot water …"

"I'll bring it," Shen interrupted her, "you do the rest."

The panda woman looked at him in surprise. "What …?"

"And if the whole thing is a lie, I'll cut your throat." He let go of her. "I'll be back." Then he turned away harshly and hurried out of the room. In the hallway, Shen cursed himself. Somehow he felt totally ridiculous. But if he wanted to reach his goal somehow, then he had to do it this way. He was sure that he would cut off the panda creature's thread of life at some point anyway. Then what was happening now and what was to come would quickly be forgotten again as if it had never happened.

It was no problem for Shen to leave the factory undetected. The wolves were buccaneering again and the others were busy repairing a part of the building. An icy wind was blowing outside. But Shen quickly overcame his resistance and went into the mountains. He had wrapped himself in a thick coat and was searching the area. He knew which herb the panda woman had meant. He had heard that it had healing properties, but did not know what exactly it could be used for. Nevertheless, it was not easy for the peacock to walk through the rocks. Because of his sore shoulder, he could hardly climb. But luckily the lava herb was common, so it did not take him long to collect enough of it and return to the factory. There he gathered all the materials, such as a bowl and a rag, and went back down to the cellar. It was not easy for Shen to open the lever on the cellar door. He simply could not believe what he was doing. But he overcame the wall of his secrecy again and entered the room. The panda woman seemed to have been expecting him, which gave Shen a queasy feeling in his stomach again. She had not lain down as usual, but was already standing when he came in. She said nothing. She waited for what he would say.

Shen put the materials and the herbs on the floor. "Pick out what you need. I'll get the hot water." He turned around, but the panda woman's next sentence made him freeze.

"Can I look at the wound?"

Shen looked at her as if petrified. "Don't you dare!" He backed away from her in a defensive attitude.

"Are you afraid?"

"I'm not afraid of anything!"

"But how am I supposed to know whether you need something else?"

Shen let out an angry growl. "Do you think I'm so naive? - And no! I'm not afraid!"

"Then I hope you can find a doctor."

Shen's stomach clenched. This dilemma with the doctor was driving him crazy. He would hardly be able to find a new one in a hurry. He was therefore dependent on every little bit of help. But did it have to be a panda? The creature which he had hated for so many years? And in such a situation? Why was she so eager to look at his wound? What was she up to? He had already been wrong about the doctor. He couldn't be careless again.

Like an injured, shy, wild animal, he walked past her a few steps in a crouched position, watching her suspiciously. But maybe there was nothing wrong with her really just wanting to take a look at the wound. And yet, he didn't have a good feeling about it. Finally, he stopped, paused for a moment, then he walked towards her with slow steps. When he had reached the usual safe distance, he quickly pulled out a dagger from his robe. The panda woman flinched, but remained standing where she was. A little more courageous, Shen stepped closer to her, holding the dagger protectively in front of him.

"Just one wrong move," he warned urgently, looking her straight in the eyes, "just one wrong move and I'll stab you in the heart." He threw the dagger and impaled a candle with it. "I can aim very good," Shen confirmed his accuracy.

The panda woman nodded silently. Then Shen loosened the belt of his robe a little and pulled the robe down over his shoulders. Somehow he felt quite ridiculous now. But how else would she see the wound? He looked at her. To his relief, her expression remained neutral. If she laughed or grinned now, he would hit her. Then he turned his back to her. His posture tensed as she approached him. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He kept his second dagger in his sleeve, ready to use it, as a precaution. Maybe she was even planning to grab him from behind and strangle him.

He jumped away when he felt her paws on his back.

The panda woman raised her paws reassuringly. "You don't need to be afraid ..."

"I'm not afraid!" he shouted at her. "You should be afraid of me. Or aren't you afraid that today could be your last day?"

She lowered her gaze a little. "What do I have to lose?"

Shen narrowed his eyes. "Indeed. And that's exactly what raises some concerns in me." He took a deep breath. He had to pull himself together. "Just look at it."

He turned his back to her again, making sure that her paws didn't touch him. While she looked at the wound, Shen remained holding his breath. He didn't like her silence at all.

"And?"

"Unfortunately, it's very ulcerated," she said. "Haven't you been able to find a doctor?"

Shen didn't know how many times he would have to curse the wolf pack in his life. "Good staff is a scarce commodity," he growled doggedly.

There was another period of silence.

"The lava herb alone won't help," she said finally. "Someone has to open the wound."

Shen let out a plaintive sigh. He could wait a long time for that.

"Anything amiss?"

"Right now, it's not a good time for such a step." He pulled up his robe again and looked at her venomously. "And you, you don't seem to be any good either."

"Isn't there anyone who can do it?"

"You seem to have a bad memory, don't you? I already told you, good staff is hard to come by."

"And if I tried?"

Shen looked at her in horror. "Don't even dare think about it!" The idea of her standing in front of him with a sharp object made his feathers stand on end.

She looked at him worriedly. "But if you don't do anything, it will only get worse."

Shen backed away. That wasn't good. He couldn't. It was too big a risk for him. But what else could he do? He couldn't be sure that the next doctor wouldn't want to kill him, too. The wolves didn't understand anything about professional wound care either. And if he did find someone ... someone had to be able to ... but how much time would he have?

He rubbed his wings together, nervous and restless. Either he took the risk with the panda, or with complications with his wound. He felt for his dagger in his sleeve. But if he chose the first option, then she shouldn't treat him here, where no one could hear him if she attacked him. He could get wolves to keep an eye on him, but on the other hand, he would look stupid. No one should see him letting the most hated creature help him.

Finally, he took a deep breath. Especially since his wound was again sending a wave of pain through him.

"Very well," he said firmly, "but not here. Up there, where you can't cause any trouble."

They looked at each other. There was a strange silence between them, as if the world around them was holding its breath. Finally, Shen went to the wall where the ends of the chains that were connected to the panda woman were hanging. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed how she was watching him. But she said nothing. Not even when Shen used a key to remove the chains from the wall, but in the next moment he pulled out another dagger as if from nowhere and held it threateningly in front of her. "Try to escape ..." He turned the dagger in his finger feathers so that it flashed threateningly in the candlelight. "I hope, I don't need to say more." She nodded silently, so Shen only had to take the ends of the chains and nod toward the door. "Come." But before they passed through the door, he pointed to the floor where the herb and the material were still lying. "You carry that."

Shen couldn't believe that he was taking this wicked panda woman into his room. But he still preferred it instead of being alone with her in the basement. Until now, he had never been close enough for her to touch him. Except for the time when she had taken his wing in her paws. But that was the only exception that had happened between them. And now he should allow her to hold a sharp object with which she could possibly cut his throat? But even if she were to attack him, he could call for help in his room at least. And if anyone wondered why she was with him, he would simply claim that she had escaped. At least, no one saw them. And as soon as Shen had opened the door to his room, he let her in, watching her very closely. As a precaution, he kept his dagger in his sleeve ready to throw. But the panda woman entered, slightly bent over, without saying a word.

"I know what's going through your mind right now," Shen began after he had closed the door again. "You probably think that a prince's home looks different." He folded his wings behind his back and looked at her mockingly. "It would be. If you hadn't stood in my way, I wouldn't have to make do with such a shabby dwelling. Everything would have worked out perfectly for me."

Again she said nothing, but put the things she had brought with her on the floor.

After Shen had attached the chains to a ring on the wall, he folded his wings and cleared his throat. "I assume that you have to prepare the essence first."

The panda woman nodded. "A tea is also enough. At least, that is the practical application. It can only be applied after the wound has been opened and every impurity has been removed."

"Well then." Shen pointed to the things. "This will be your task. I'll get the hot water."

During this process, Shen had stopped counting how often he cursed his situation. He didn't like being alone in a room with the panda. Especially not what might still happen to him. At least preparing the herbs went without any problems. The panda woman only had to wash them, put them in hot water and drain them. After that was done, the most dreaded part came for Shen. He had been pondering the whole time about what he could give the panda woman to cut. He didn't dare to use a large knife. In the end, all he could think of was a piece of sharp metal. He took it from the table and handed it to the astonished panda woman.

"I hope you don't need anything else, do you?" Shen said with a warning undertone. "With this you'll probably be less likely to stab me. And I'll be very careful about what you do behind my back." The panda woman took it without saying a word. Then Shen pulled his robe down from his back as before. "I can't work with these hands," she said, raising her chained paws.

Shen had feared that she would say that, but had hoped that she would keep her mouth shut unconditionally. Slowly his gaze wandered to her. Should he really take the chains off her?

He tried to keep his hard, indifferent expression. But on the other hand, he didn't want her to think he was a coward. He pulled his robe back up.

"Remember one thing," he growled, "I'm not afraid of you, but don't think I'm an idiot either."

She didn't reply, which only half reassured Shen. The less she answered back, the more likely it was that she would be more cautious in her treatment of him. At least that's what he hoped. But he wanted to prevent her from noticing his insecurity. But it was probably also because he could never trust anyone again. Especially that soothsayer who had stabbed him in the back with her judgment of him.

While he removed the chains from her wrists, he watched her very closely, paying attention to every little movement she made. After that was done, he took a step back. Now she stood in front of him. Unbound and now a little more able to defend herself than before. But he overcame his fear again and turned his back to her, warningly holding the dagger in his wing. "One wrong move and it will be the last breath for both of us."

She stepped closer to him. Shen lowered his gaze a little and held the tip of his dagger in her direction. As she came closer, he had trouble breathing normally out of sheer tension, as if his breathing was drowning out every little noise. He heard how she raised her arms slightly. He flinched when her fingertips touched his back next to the wound. In the basement, he had run away from her, but here he had to endure this touch. But when her paw approached the wound, he grabbed it with his free wing.

"Just one wrong move! I'm warning you!" He squeezed so hard that it briefly cut off her blood supply, causing him to tremble involuntarily. He quickly let go again. His other wing clung so tightly to the dagger handle that it almost hurt him. He would stab immediately if she went too deep with the sharp instrument or went for his throat. He tried not to show his fear, but raised his free wing as inconspicuously as possible and placed it protectively over his throat. He sucked in a sharp breath when he felt the metal tip in his wound.

"This might hurt a little," she said.

He tried to suppress the pain and concentrate on the cutting movements, tried to follow each cut as if he were watching.

Suddenly the pain became too strong and he moved away from her.

"What are you doing?!" he shouted at her.

"It hurts, I know ... But I didn't ..."

Shen shook his head. No, he couldn't. "The best thing is for you to get out of here."

He expected her to protest. But to his surprise, she put the small metal tip aside. "It's your decision."

Shen looked at her with wide eyes. He had thought she would persuade him to try again. Instead, the panda woman sighed.

"I can understand that."

Shen narrowed his eyes. "You can't!"

"My husband had that attitude sometimes, too. It was hard to get him to do something he didn't want to do."

It's a trick, she's just trying to trick you, Shen told himself. But if you don't let her do it now ...

Shen clenched his beak lips. He would love to run to someone like a child runs to its mother, but there was no one who was so close to him.

"Have you made a decision?" the panda woman's words brought him back. Without saying anything, Shen quickly grabbed the chains and put them back on her. "Just so you know, you're going back to where you belong!"

At that moment, someone knocked on the door.

"Master, we're back!"

Shen stood there frozen. He didn't want to make a fuss now ...

"We've got a lot of supplies," the one-eyed wolf continued behind the door. "Would you like to inspect them?"

At first, Shen was unable to say anything. "I ... I'll look at it later. Go back."

"Is everything okay, master?"

"Yes, everything's fine. Go back to your quarters!"

"As you wish."

He heard the wolf walk away. Then Shen snorted and looked back at the panda woman. As long as the wolves were in the factory, he couldn't bring her back to the basement unseen. He had to wait for a good moment. "Very well, change of plan," he hissed, "you stay here until the opportunity arises. And until then ... I advise you not to do anything stupid."

Several minutes passed without either of them saying anything. Shen had sat down on his bed, which could be separated by a curtain. He watched the female panda, who had settled down in a corner. Finally, the panda woman took something out from under her coat, but stopped in the middle of her movement when Shen jumped up and held the dagger in front of her face. He only relaxed again when he recognized the tip of the stuffed bear.

"Why do you always carry this thing around with you?" he asked.

"I made one like this for my son," she answered quietly.

Shen tilted his head skeptically.

"This way I feel like he'll always be with me," she continued.

Shen looked at her for a while, then he turned away indifferently and sat down on his bed again. "Do all parents make things like this for their children?"

"Well, I don't know any other way."

Shen snorted softly and looked away. He had had many toys, but none of them had ever been made by his mother.

He watched her rock the stuffed bear in her arms. With every second, Shen noticed his stomach tightening.

"Have you always hugged your child like that?" he asked.

"Every day."

Shen felt his wings tense. Did he feel something like jealousy?

"But it can't return your care," he said, covering this sentence with a mocking smile.

The panda woman looked up at him sadly. "When was the last time you hugged your mother?"

This sentence went through Shen's heart like a hot needle.

"What do you care about my private life?!" he snapped at her. "Mind your own messed up life. If you even have a life."

For the rest of the hours, neither of them said a word. Even when it was long past bedtime. Without saying a word, Shen turned off all the lights except for one candle and closed the curtain. When he was already deeply asleep, a quiet humming woke him. Tired, he opened his eyes and listened intently. It was that children's song again. He sat up and quietly got out of bed. He slowly pushed the curtain aside a little and in the dim candlelight he saw the panda woman rocking the stuffed bear in her arms. He watched her in silence. He couldn't remember anyone ever rocking him to sleep.

While she continued to sing quietly, Shen didn't notice how he unconsciously moved a little to the melody. Out of understanding, he hit the long sword with his long feathers. It fell to the floor with a clatter. He stood there as if petrified. The singing had stopped. Snorting, he gave himself a jolt and pulled the curtain aside. The panda woman stood up, but Shen just raised his beak arrogantly and went to the table.

"It's hard to sleep with all the croaking you're making," he complained. Then he made a gesture of refusal. "What the heck. I wanted to get something to drink anyway."

With these words, he walked past her. She said nothing and gently put the stuffed bear down on the floor so that it was sitting and leaning against the wall. Shen tried to ignore her presence while he made himself a cup of tea and put a piece of root in it. The panda woman waited patiently, then she stepped a little closer. The chains were short so she couldn't reach him, but one look at the table was enough for her.

"Ginger?" she asked in surprise when she recognized the root tuber on the table.

Shen gave her an annoyed look. "Do you have a problem with that?"

She shook her head. "No, but I know it has an anti-inflammatory effect."

"I know a little about it," Shen replied neutrally.

"That's good, but it won't get rid of the infection."

Shen audibly put the cup down on the table. "You're very keen to cut my back." He looked at her darkly. "But why shouldn't you be? You could just stab me."

As if she had guessed his thoughts, she sat down. "That won't get my child back either."

"But you'd have satisfaction," Shen said quite openly.

"Do you really think that of me?"

Shen didn't reply. He just stared at his teacup. Then he shook his head slightly and dismissively. "I won't let myself be fooled. No one should ever do anything behind my back again." He thought of his parents, how they had secretly consulted the soothsayer. He looked at her. She had a conciliatory look on her face.

He narrowed his eyes. "No, you can't trick me. And if you try ..." He stood up and fetched his sword, "I'll do what I should have done years ago." He held the tip of the sword threateningly in front of her. "I assume, you still know this, right?" He swung it elegantly back and forth, making an ominous whirring sound. But suddenly, a blazing pain shot through his shoulder. He let fall the sword. Groaning, he held the back of his shoulder. That was too much for his wound. He sank to the ground and remained kneeling on the ground for a while, trembling.

At some point a shadow leaned over him. "Don't you want to try again?" the panda woman asked.

He raised his head. Their eyes met. But then he shook his head and stood up. "You can't trick me!" He pushed her away and fled to his sleeping corner, where he hastily closed the curtain. He stayed there for a while. He heard her retreat back to her corner. Relieved, he retreated back to bed as well.

During the night hours, Shen could not sleep. He tossed and turned restlessly. The wound on his back hurt worse than before. Finally, he mumbled quiet noises as if that would ease the pain. But that didn't help for long either. He could hardly bear it any longer. Nevertheless, he held back from getting up again.

I'm not a weakling, he thought. I'm not fragile. Not fragile... No, he wasn't fragile like the snow.

Snow.

He saw the snow again. The panda village. Then the baby panda between the vegetable boxes again. That cursed child. It turned into a straw bear ... The same straw bear that the panda woman cradled in her arms ...

He blinked. That panda woman.

He closed his eyes again. But then, half asleep, he realized that there was actually a panda standing next to his bed!

He opened his eyes wide and jumped up.

No, that couldn't be! The panda woman was standing next to his bed and was looking at him.

Shen backed away and almost fell out of bed.

"What do you want here?!" he shouted in panic. "How did you ...?" He looked around frantically. But he couldn't see anyone else. The chains were still on her wrists. But how could she come to him?

The panda woman had the answer. "The ring on the wall that the chain was attached to was loose. The building seems to be very old ..."

Shen jumped out of bed and wanted to grab his sword, but to his horror it was no longer in its place. He searched the corner in panic. This had to be a nightmare! He squinted and rubbed his head nervously. He wanted to wake up, he wanted to wake up! He searched his robe, but then he remembered that he never took a knife to bed with him. He pressed himself against the wall in fear, while the panda woman was still standing there as if nothing had happened. Shen moved along the wall. He had a few knives in a drawer. He had to reach it to protect himself.

He raced past her. But then his feet hit an object and he crashed to the ground. He had tripped over the chain. But before he could get up, the panda woman was already there, leaning over him. Shen wanted to scream to call the wolves, but ... He couldn't believe it, she covered his beak with her paw and laid her body on top of him. In vain, Shen tried to push her away. But her weight and size were too heavy for his fine-boned body. Even his claws were no help. They even got tangled in her dress. Shen fought like crazy. Until he could no longer fight from exhaustion and gasped for air through his nose. His body trembled with panic.

A warrior in black and white, he kept thinking. Was that ... her?

Again, paralyzing fear overcame him until the panda woman finally said something.

"Now calm down," she said gently. "I don't want to hurt you."

Shen mumbled something through his beak. The panda woman leaned over him. "I just want to talk. Please, don't call anyone. I just want to talk."

Shen was still breathing heavily, finally nodding shakily. When she finally let go of his beak, he was still close to screaming, but then he forced himself to ask the question he had wanted to ask earlier if he hadn't been so panicked.

"What else did you want with me? To kill me quietly and silently?"

"Actually, I came to your bed in the first place because you were talking loudly," she explained.

"Talking loudly?" Shen repeated in disbelief. "Me? What am I supposed to have said?"

She seemed to hesitate to repeat it. "Something about 'not a weakling'."

Shen's beak remained open. He had never been told that he talked in his sleep or half-sleep. Although it was no surprise, since he always slept alone.

"I just wanted to check that everything was okay. But I had no bad intentions."

Shen narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "And what stopped you? And what's stopping you now? It would be easy for you to just break my neck."

She shook her head disapprovingly. "Even if I had planned something like that, how would I get away from here undetected?"

"Oh? You don't dare because you're a coward?" he expressed his thoughts bravely. "You could take me hostage now ..." Shen caught his breath. Why did he have to say that now? In the worst case scenario, she was actually doing it now. "Which won't work," he hurried to say. "My people wouldn't hesitate to kill you."

She sighed heavily and looked at him sadly, which in turn raised doubts in Shen's mind.

"I'm not that kind of person ..."

"Damn it!" he shouted at her, "what do you want, you wicked creature?!" Fear overcame him again. "Just do what you've always wanted to do!" He cursed this soothsayer. Great, then this old goat would have her way at least and he would die miserably in front of this warrior figure. All because he let himself be so consumed by his pain. How could he have been so foolish? He cursed himself several times. Then he relaxed and waited for the moment when she would kill him. He saw her paw reaching out to his face. His breathing quickened. He expected a hard grip. But instead, she stroked the side of his head. Very carefully and gently. Shen blacked out. It was like the time when she had held his wing.

"All I want," she said quietly, "is to make it clear to you that we never intended anything bad against you. All my life I was just a housewife. And I never intended to be anything else. All I wanted was to be there for my family."

"If she meant so much to you, then avenge them," he replied defiantly. "Make it short for me."

"I'm just asking for some understanding."

"And what does that do for your?"

"My peace if you would understand that."

Shen looked at her speechlessly, before finally finding the strength to speak again. "You're asking very little for someone who should demand revenge."

"I don't think I can do more for my family."

Shen was still not convinced by her request. "Oh yes. It would be easier for you to stab me."

This time she said nothing, but her eyes made it clear that this was her only request.

Shen narrowed his eyes. "And what do you expect from me then? More freedom? More food?"

"I'm not asking for anything in return," was her short answer. "Would you do it?"

Shen was silent for a while. "I'll think about it. Is that enough for you?"

She nodded. "Yes, it is."

She let go of him. Shen got up, groaning. This panda woman was really heavier than she looked. He rubbed his knee, which he had hit when he fell, but it was not damaged.

"And now what?" he asked. He still expected her to make demands. But instead she just shook her head.

"Maybe we should make sure that we have a quiet night."

Shen sighed. He would like nothing more than to finally have some peace and quiet. He massaged his temples. Then his wing moved to his wound.

The panda woman noticed this. "Are you still accepting my offer?"

Shen's distrust rose again.

"By the way, your sword is under your bed," she said. "I only put it there so you wouldn't stab me."

Shen immediately looked. And it was there. He took it out. It was undamaged. His side-glance wandered to her. She could have done it, but she hadn't. Why should she do it now? He put it back in its usual place next to his bed, then he turned back to her.

"Very well," he admitted defeat. "You can try again."

She nodded understandingly. "The brewed tea made from lava herb is still effective when cold."

Shen understood and fetched the tea, which he still kept in a bowl. He put it near the edge of the table, where he and the panda woman stood so that she could reach it more quickly. After Shen had removed the chains from her wrists again, he pulled his robe from his shoulders. He was a little calmer now than before, but he still didn't like that she worked in his wound. When she finally got into position, she stroked his back soothingly. Shen tensed.

"I'll try to make it quick," she assured him.

Before Shen could even think about it, he felt a stabbing jolt, and shortly afterwards she pressed against his wound. Shen dug his finger feathers into the fabric of his robe. He was shaking. He wanted to scream, but he pressed his beak lips together so that his jaw hurt. He heard her take a cloth and wipe the wound. A little later, he felt something cool as she applied the tea mixture and cleaned the cut. Finally, the bandage was put around it.

"That's it," she finally said, the redeeming sentence.

But as soon as she had said that, Shen jumped up and stuck her paws back on the chains. Then he tied the end of the chain around a beam. After he had convinced himself that the beam was stable and that she definitely couldn't rip it out, he turned back to the confused panda woman.

"You stay like that," he said icily. "If that was an attempt to poison me, you'll die first."

The panda woman looked at him in shock. Did Shen not understand anything? But that's exactly how it seemed. Shen turned away and went towards his bed. "It could be that you secretly put something dangerous on my back so that I would die a painful death."

With these words, he left the dismayed panda woman and closed the curtain. As soon as he had drawn the hanging fabric, he breathed a sigh of relief. He felt unsteady on his feet. He didn't really believe that she had betrayed him, but he simply didn't want to and couldn't let go of his hard shell. She just shouldn't imagine that she could ensnare him. He would never want to accept that the pandas weren't to blame for his dilemma.

Wearily, he rubbed his face. Then he simply collapsed into bed and fell asleep exhausted after a few seconds.

It was almost like a miracle, but Shen slept well for the rest of the night, as his wound was no longer causing him any problems. Nevertheless, he was startled the next morning when he was woken up by a knock on the door. He immediately realized that he had to act quickly. He jumped out of bed and tore open the curtain. As he suspected, the panda woman was still sleeping leaning against the wall. She must not be found with him under any circumstances. He had to wake her up quickly and hide her.

There was a second knock on the door.

"Master, I'm bringing the food."

"Just a minute," Shen told the wolf in front of the door and shook the panda woman by the shoulder. "Wake up!" he hissed at her.

The panda woman blinked. "What ...?"

"Shut up and get out of here!" He pushed her behind the next curtain, hoping that the wolf will not notice the chains that were lying across the floor from her. He went to the door and tried to hide the view into the room as best he could.

The one-eyed wolf was standing outside and holding out a tray to Shen.

Shen hastily took it from him, but gave the wolf something on the way. "Thank you, and one more thing, about the panda, nobody talks to her and nobody goes to her. I've just sentenced her to fast." Before the wolf could ask, Shen simply slammed the door. Then he put the tray on the table. He waited a few seconds until he heard a movement behind the curtain.

"All right, come out."

The panda woman stepped hesitantly out from behind the curtain.

"Sit there," Shen ordered, pointing to a corner.

The panda did as she was told, while Shen examined his food, which consisted of a bowl of rice with a side dish. It wasn't exactly a princely meal, but at least it wasn't inferior food either. He glanced over at the panda, who was still sitting in the corner. She should have actually had her ration yesterday, but he had prevented it. Sighing, Shen picked at his food. Finally, he took a small bowl, put a very small portion of rice in it, and stood up. With a clatter, he threw the bowl at the panda. "I don't want a corpse in my room," he explained his behavior. "They always smell so bad." He paid her no further attention. He sat back down at the table and ate his food without even mentioning the events of yesterday.

After they had finished eating, she gave him the bowl back. She couldn't help asking a question.

"How's your shoulder?" she asked.

Shen moved his shoulder. "Not too bad."

"Should I take another look at it?"

"I'll do it myself," Shen refused. He stood up and went to the mirror. There he pushed the robe and the bandage aside. The panda woman also risked a look over his shoulder.

"It looks much better."

Shen suppressed an annoyed growl. "Really? Fine." He pulled his robe back up. "But my decision remains. No freedom for you. And if I say you're going back downstairs, I won't tolerate any backtalk. Understood?"

She didn't say anything. She just nodded silently. And Shen was glad that she wasn't arguing with him about it. Although, he didn't know how long she should stay with him. But he hesitated to send her back to the basement immediately. If his shoulder did get worse again, she could then get back to work. At least one person who was good for something here.

During the day, Shen received the report that the passes were covered in snow and it was still impossible to go on a raid. So everyone was forced to find some way to pass the time. Shen had retreated to his room and was reading a book about the warfare of former generals.

The panda woman was still sitting in the corner, but Shen noticed that she was watching him from time to time. He looked up. The panda woman quickly avoided his gaze. Shen raised the corners of his beak mockingly and held up the book. "That is higher education. But you hillbillies probably don't know that, do you?"

"The children went to the local school," she answered calmly. "And in the evenings, we even read them stories."

"What did you read to your children?" Shen asked in an arrogant tone.

"Well, for example, they always liked to hear the story about the firework bird."

Shen raised an eyebrow attentively. He knew this story. "I don't believe you," he said after a while. "If so, you'll have to prove it to me. Tell me the story."

At first, she hesitated. Maybe she thought he was trying to make fun of her. But then she started to tell the story. It wasn't word for word like the story he had read as a child, but it was the same plot.

Shen stayed sitting in his chair and listened to her attentively. It was only later that he noticed a tear forming in his eye. He had read this story as a small child. But only when he could read himself. No one had ever read anything to him. So it was a strange but pleasant feeling for him how the panda woman even emphasized the sentences and words in a way he had never heard before.

After she had finished, he quickly turned around and wiped the tear from his eye so that she wouldn't see it.

"Okay, nice," he said in an indifferent tone and looked around quickly. He urgently needed a distraction. Then his eyes fell on his sword. He quickly took it out of the corner and did a few movement exercises with it. When he noticed her watching him, he skillfully turned the sword in his wing.

"I have to move sometimes too," he explained. "I can't just sit around lazily like you all the time."

Only now, he noticed how she was staring at the sword.

"It may not be a pleasant sight for you," he said, "but this is the only thing I was able to take from home."

Someone knocked on the door. "Master. We have prepared the lava cauldrons," the one-eyed wolf reported outside.

"I'm coming." Shen put the sword back in its place and turned back to the panda woman. "Listen, if you have nothing else to do, then make yourself useful by washing my cloth."

With these words, he pressed his robe into her paws, which he had exchanged for a darker coat the day before. After putting down the cleaning water in a bowl, he left the room.

"How come you are feeling better?" the one-eyed wolf asked as he stood at the other end of the factory with Lord Shen and a few other wolves.

"I'm a robust person," Shen replied.

"Then it was unnecessary with the troubles with the doctor," the wolf grumbled to himself, but immediately returned to the reason for their meeting. "Well, we've already melted a good amount of metal in these cauldrons. With the hot lava, we can forgo the fuel."

Two of the wolves pulled on a rope to pour the contents of the cauldron into a mold. However, they tipped it a little too quickly, so that a gush of metal spilled over and some of it hit the wolves and the peacock. Shen, who had no protective fur on his legs, flinched when he felt a drop of hot metal on his bare skin.

"Hey," the one-eyed wolf scolded, hastily wiping the chunks of lava from his fur, "watch out, you idiot!"

The wolves at the cauldron ducked their heads. "Sorry."

"I think, they need to practice that for a while," the one-eyed wolf sighed.

"Yes, they have to do," Shen hissed, holding his leg with a face contorted in pain.

Limping, Shen returned to his room. The burn still hurt. He stood in amazement on the doorstep. His robe had been washed and was hanging over a chair. The panda woman had poured some of the water out of the bowl and was scrubbing the floor with it. She looked up when she saw Shen standing in the doorway, surprised.

Shen pointed downwards. "What's that supposed to be?"

The panda woman stood up and wiped her wet paws on her dress. "Well, I didn't have anything else to do and the floor was a bit dusty ..."

Shen shook his head. "It doesn't matter now."

He automatically rubbed his foot again and limped over to the table.

The panda woman followed him with her eyes in surprise. "Is there something wrong with you?"

"No, just a little burned," Shen hissed sarcastically as he cooled the burn with a wet rag. "Lava from the volcano and molten metal aren't cold."

The panda woman put the rag in the wash bowl and carried everything towards the table. She put the things down there, but at the same time, she dared to take a look at the burn.

"It looks very bad," she said.

Shen let out an annoyed growl. "Thanks for the professional confirmation." He turned away and looked for a suitable bandage. He heard her rummaging around for something and putting a small bottle on the table. He looked next to him and recognized the herbal solution that she had applied to the wound on his shoulder yesterday.

"There's still some left," she said. "You can put that on the wound. It also helps against burns."

Shen pushed it away. "I still decide what I apply."

With these words, he sat down and tried to remove the dirt from the wound with the still damp cloth.

"Damn it," he cursed when he didn't manage to pull out a dirt particles of the flesh.

The panda woman grinned, which made Shen angry again. "Stop laughing."

"Should I take a look?"

"Why do you always think you can do everything better?"

"I had to do that to my son once when he fell over."

"If you say you can do it faster than me, then give it a try. I'll give you five seconds."

She nodded and looked at the leg. "Do you have tweezers or something similar?"

Shen handed them to her. But he flinched at the first touch.

"Watch out!" Shen complained.

At first, the panda woman knelt there, helpless. Then she raised her head and pointed to the side.

"What is that there?"

Shen followed her pointer. But in the next second, he felt a pulling pain, and at the same time something cool. She had pulled out the piece of metal and was now applying the tea mixture.

"As I said, I've had to do it to my son many times." She quickly put a bandage around the wound.

"Is it better this way?" she asked.

Shen lifted his foot and moved her toes. "Yes ... yes, it's so-so." Which should actually mean 'much better'.

The next day, Shen had asked her to sweep the floor of his room completely so that she wouldn't be bored. When he returned a few hours later, he came in again limping.

She immediately looked up from her work and stood up.

"What happened?"

"Just a small cut," he answered and pointed to his leg, which was still bleeding slightly. But this time it was the other leg.

She leaned over it. "Looks like a small cut."

"And what should I do now?" Shen asked.

"It's best to clean it and bandage it."

"But it's only a clean cut."

"It could get infected otherwise."

"You do that."

It didn't take long and the wound was taken care of. Shen didn't thank her, but she seemed to sense that he was feeling better.

"Does it happen more often now that you hurt yourself?"

This question made Shen freeze for a moment when the one-eyed wolf asked him about it in the halls.

Shen turned to him angrily. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, in the last few days, you cut your leg, then you sprained your toe ..."

"That's none of your business," Shen interrupted.

The wolf shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Very well. By the way, when are we supposed to feed the panda again? I don't want her to croak ..."

He stopped when Shen held a dagger in his face.

"Do I have to tell you everything?" Shen reprimanded him.

The wolf ducked his head, intimidated. "I'm just saying. It's been many days now ..."

"I'll make sure that she will not lose a lot of weight," Shen told him. "She can fast for a while." Then he turned away and walked away. No one knew yet that she was living in his room, because he had forbidden any contact with the basement cell. However, he didn't know how much longer he could keep it a secret from the wolves.

Shen had retreated to a lonely beam in the factory where he wanted to think. Since he had brought this panda woman to his room, his everyday life had somehow become different. And maybe the alpha wolf wasn't so wrong that it was strange that he hurt himself so often. Although it had taken some effort for him to cut himself or deliberately stubbed his toe.

Shen let out a deep, wistful sigh. He wanted it, then again he didn't want it. Then he wanted it again ... he wanted someone to heal him. And he could only get that if he hurt himself and then enjoyed the long-awaited freedom from pain. It was somehow a nice feeling. He always wanted to feel the joy when he felt better after the pain.

Sighing, he lifted his leg, which was still wrapped in the bandage from this morning. He looked at it thoughtfully and wiggled his toes.

Is that what happiness felt like?

When Shen returned to his room, the panda woman was dusting. She was rubbing an object here and there with a rag. At first, Shen said nothing, but then he noticed that a few things on the table had been moved.

"You'd better not play the cleaning lady," he complained, going to the table, "you're bringing too much chaos into my system. That's not the right place."

"Sorry," she apologized. "It's just because I always tidy up at my home, too."

"I have my own order," Shen corrected her and took a stack of papers from the table. "Everything here is according to my rules." He pushed the papers into a shelf. A kind of note fell out and sailed to the floor. The panda woman bent down and picked it up. She looked at it in surprise. It was a photo drawing. It showed the two peafowl rulers and a younger white peacock.

"Oh, is that you?"

When Shen noticed what she had found, he ripped it out of her paws.

"How dare you?!" he shouted at her.

"But I only ..."

Her breath caught in her throat as he pulled out a dagger. "You didn't see anything!" He held the knife threateningly in front of her face, narrowing his eyes angrily. She noticed how he pressed the photo drawing to his body. "Never touch it again," he hissed angrily.

She nodded fearfully.

Finally, Shen turned away and retreated to his bedroom.

After an hour, Shen had calmed down again and left his bedroom. The panda woman had retreated into the corner and watched as he went to the window, opened it and looked out into the vast mountain landscape. He stood there for a while. Finally, she plucked up courage and went over to him. He had put the photo drawing on a table next to him.

"How old were you then?" she asked cautiously.

"10," he answered without looking at her.

She sighed wistfully. "My husband had made a picture like that of me and my son. That was on my son's 100th day. It always reminded us of what a happy family we were."

"But the picture wasn't taken for a nostalgic reason," Shen corrected her. "Family portraits are so common among royals."

"Then why did you take it with you?"

Shen looked at the photo drawing. Then he grabbed it and threw it on the floor. "So that it charges me with the necessary anger to carry out my plans. And don't tell me again that they only wanted to protect me."

She tilted her head questioningly. "Don't you believe that?"

He let out an angry growl and folded his wings. "What I think is none of your business. The only things that matter to me are facts. And the truth is that I'm not allowed to see them anymore. And they never want to see me again."

She looked at him in silence. "Did they say that?"

"I know it! Or how would you react if your son had disappointed you? Wouldn't you send him out either?"

She was silent for a moment. "Well, if it were my son ... It would be nice if he came to me and we could talk about it."

Shen snorted. "How do you know what they would ask?"

"I can only say what I feel as a mother."

"But you're not them." He turned his back to her.

For several seconds, no one spoke a word.

The panda woman looked at the photo drawing on the floor. Hesitantly, she picked it up and walked towards him with it.

"If you don't look for a way to find out, you'll never know for sure." She handed him the photo drawing.

Shen looked at the photo drawing with narrowed eyes. Then he angrily ripped it out of her paws. "I told you not to touch it," he growled at her.

The panda woman raised her paws apologetically. "Well, it's your decision what you do. But I know, time heals."

She walked away. Shen got annoyed by her sermons and crumpled the photo drawing in his wing. Finally, he regained his composure and hastily smoothed out the paper. He looked at the drawing thoughtfully, but could no longer look at it. He was too afraid of tearing it up and carefully, he hid it somewhere between a few books.

That night, Shen couldn't forget the incident between him and the panda woman. He lay in his bed and thought for a long time. He was thinking especially about his parents. He hadn't had any contact with them for 4 years. He had never wanted to, after they had simply sent him away. They had never been able to talk to each other again after that. How could they? He wasn't allowed to go back to Gongmen City.

He sat up when something crossed his mind. He had been forbidden to return to the city, but there had never been any mention of a ban on writing letters. Quickly, he got up and went to his desk, where he lit a candle. The panda woman, who was sitting in the corner as usual, only raised her head briefly, but nodded off again immediately, which Shen was very happy about. He didn't want anyone looking over his shoulder. Then he took some paper and writing utensils. He pondered for a while about what he should write. Finally, he decided to start soberly and only report the essentials. Above all, that he was still alive and had a roof over his head. He dipped the brush in ink and wrote the first line.

"Hello, this is your son, if you still remember me ..." Shen stopped. That sounded too sarcastic. He crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it in a corner. Then he took a new one and started again. And so it went on almost the whole night ...

"Hm, I should do what?" The one-eyed wolf looked at his master in surprise, while hesitantly taking the rolled up paper that Shen held out to him.

"You heard me correctly," Shen repeated. "Take this letter to Gongmen City and wait for an answer there."

"Do you think your parents will read it?"

"They just forbade me to return to Gongmen City, but there was no mention of a ban on letters. So, now go."

So the days went by. Shen's thoughts constantly wandered. He could hardly concentrate on his work at all. He constantly imagined scenes of how he could be a family with his parents again. If everything went as he had imagined, he might be able to persuade his parents to be proud of him after all. He didn't hope for a miracle right away, but maybe one day they would understand if he wrote to them regularly. Things were a little more relaxed in his environment too. The panda woman cleaned his room regularly and Shen was no longer angry about her 'spying' on his hidden family picture. Whenever he had a question about mothers and sons, she told him experiences about her previous family life with her husband and young son, which in turn gave Shen new ideas for his parents. Until this dream came to an abrupt end. Shen was walking around the bridges of the hall when suddenly the one-eyed wolf rushed up the stairs to him. "Master! I've just received the latest news from Gongmen City."

Shen looked at him in surprise. "What do you mean with news? Haven't you received a letter?"

"Um, well, that's the problem." The wolf rubbed his neck nervously. "I don't know how you see it, but ..."

The wolf's hesitation didn't make Shen feel good. "What's wrong? Speak!"

"I'm sorry … but … your parents are dead. They died almost three years ago. It would have been quite a surprise. According rumors, your father even poisoned himself." He paused. "Master? Is everything okay?"

Shen sat silently in a corner of the factory and stared into space. He did nothing, just sat there in silence. His head was empty. A sadness overcame him, but he was still unable to cry. He had threatened his parents when their verdict was announced and demanded satisfaction, but he would never have wanted to harm them physically. His stomach clenched again and he collapsed. In Gongmen City he had not only left behind a battlefield in the panda village, but also a battlefield of feelings between himself and his parents that he had never been able to clear up. He stood up restlessly. His thoughts automatically looked for a way to find them somewhere, but there was no place in the world where they could still be found.

They were gone. Just gone. But what had he expected if they were still alive and he could see them again? What if he had been successful? Would they have said the words he had always wanted to hear from them? That they were proud of him?

At this thought, Shen jumped up and ran towards his room. He wanted to go to her. He wanted someone to comfort him ... to take him in the arms. He ran up the stairs and pushed a few wolves aside on the way. He finally wanted relief from this pain. But just before he reached the room, he stopped, gasping. He paused for a while.

"Those pandas," he growled and clung to the wall. It was because of those pandas that it had come to this. If it hadn't been for them, everything could have turned out very differently. Slowly, his painful grief turned into biting anger. All of a sudden, Shen remembered the reasons why he wanted to conquer China. And because of those dirty pandas, he was thrown out of his homeland because he had to get rid of them in order to realize his dream. And that panda creature had also suggested that he had to accept that they were innocent? Shen's finger feathers dug into the wood. He lowered his gaze and suppressed the tears.

The pandas were guilty. They had been to blame for everything from the beginning.

He remained in this position for a while. Finally, he pulled himself together. With a stony expression, he pushed open the door to his room. The panda woman was just sweeping a corner. When she saw Shen standing in the doorway, she stood up and looked at him expectantly. But Shen was silent and just stood there, his eyes full of hatred.

"Is something wrong?" she asked uncertainly.

He didn't say a word again. His gaze wandered to his sword, which stood in the corner. He stared at it for a while. No, if he did, he couldn't stab her in his chamber. Without a word, he took his sword. Then he looked at her. She said nothing, but her look showed helplessness and perhaps a little fear.

Finally, Shen let out a quiet sigh. "Come with me."

"Where to?"

He took the ends of the chain from the wall. "You'll see."

He swung his sword and led her out of the chamber. From there, he directed her to the gate of the large vestibule. The one-eyed wolf, who was patrolling there, watched in surprise as Shen dragged the panda woman behind him on the chains.

Shen pointed at the gate with his sword. "Open it."

The wolf did him the favor, but then he forced himself to ask: "Do you need an escort?"

Shen shook his head. "Just wait here. I'll be right back."

With these words, he led the panda woman out while the wolf looked after them perplexedly.

Silently, the peacock wandered through the snow of the mountains with the panda woman in tow. Finally, Shen stopped. "Go ahead," he instructed her and let her go ahead, which she did without protest.

"Stop," he ordered.

Then he walked around her until he was standing in front of her. "Kneel down."

She did so. Without saying anything.

The snow crunched beneath her, giving Shen goosebumps. It was similar to back in the panda village. The snow. The impending doom that befell the black and white creatures ...

He took the sword in both wings and raised it. He watched as she lowered her head. Shen remembered how he had driven the knife into her body during their first confrontation, but later realized that it had not killed her yet. He had taken her with him. He had asked her about parents. But why was it so hard for him to strike now? His grip tightened around the sword hilt. He had had exactly the same inhibitions with the baby panda. But this was an adult, not a baby. However, she had to mourn a dead child, he dead parents. Shen's wings began to tremble. It would be a too short pain to take revenge for being thrown out of the city.

Shen screamed and impaled the sword in the snow. Then he took the key out of his coat and unlocked the chains on her wrists. The chains sank to the ground.

"Get out of here!" he shouted at her. "Run far away and never come back!" He pushed her away. "If you ever come back, I swear I'll kill you!"

She looked at him, wanted to say something, but Shen kicked her away.

"Just get out of here!" he continued to yell.

At first, they both stood there rigidly. Then she turned away and ran away quickly. He watched as she disappeared into the darkness and the snow-covered landscape. Maybe, just maybe, she had run away from her son in the same way when she had to flee from him and the wolf pack.

The white peacock stood there like frozen for a while. Then he thrust his sword into the snow and pressed his forehead against the flat blade. The wind howled around him. But he didn't notice anything, just the heavy emptiness that was coming in.

The one-eyed wolf was still standing in the gate, waiting for his master's return. He immediately noticed the panda woman's absence, but he didn't say anything about it. He just looked questioningly at the white peacock.

Shen raised his sword and stroked the blade. "I threw her carcass into a crevasse. No one will ever find her body. She was just a burden." His gaze wandered up to the factory building.

Finally, he took a deep breath and went through the gate into the vestibule.

"Where are you going now?" the one-eyed wolf asked.

Shen snorted. "Where do you think I'm going? I still have a lot of work to do to get what is rightfully mine."

The room was unusually quiet and lonely. Shen entered slowly and closed the door behind him. He felt completely abandoned. There was no one there who wait for him. Lost in thought, he let his gaze wander. His gaze fell on the straw bear lying on the floor in a corner. She had forgotten to take it with her. He picked it up and looked at it thoughtfully. Then his finger feathers slowly dug into the straw-filled bear doll. Finally, he ran to the window and ripped open the shutters. He lunged out and wanted to throw it out. But then he stopped and let his wings sink again. Nevertheless, he stared outside with a dark look. As the cold blew in, any warm feeling left him. He cooled down inside. He pressed the stuffed bear to his upper body. He wanted so much to have someone who would give him the feeling of security, like the panda woman had given the stuffed bear. But there was no one left to give some of the warm feeling to. There was no reason for him to carry it with him anymore, because there was no one left in the world with whom he could share it. Because those he wanted to share it with were no longer there.

He stood there for a while and stared out of the window into the darkness. Snowflakes blew into the room and danced around him. As if in a trance, Shen stretched out his wing and some of the frozen water stuck to his feathers. He looked at them for a while. Then he pressed them together and rubbed them with trembling finger feathers.

No, he was not fragile! But he still felt destroyed inside. If there was no one left, how could he feel happiness again?

Happiness.

A thought ran through his mind.

There was still a possibility.

With a cry of anger, he threw the stuffed bear out of the window. There it disappeared. Somewhere in the darkness. Breathing heavily, Shen raised again. For a moment it hurt. But slowly he felt a certain relief. He had nothing left to lose. Neither his parents nor their respect. They were no longer there.

He raised his head determinedly. He would make it right again. If not with his parents, then in his life and with China. He would show everyone. Even that old goat. He would prove that she had only lied to his parents with her so-called prophecy.

"Happiness must be taken," he murmured quietly. "I will get it. And then, China will be mine."

He was sure that as soon as he had conquered China, he would be happy again.

And everyone should see it.

The End