Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Y/N L/N. There was hardly a demon in hell that didn't know that name. Whether they know him from his appearances in shows and movies or his social media. It was obvious that he was a big deal.

"Sir Y/N, it's time to wake up," one of the maids announced. "By the way, your manager wants to have a word with you."

Y/N woke up and stretched, still feeling tired. He said good morning to his maid, sending her off to do her job. Y/N sat up on his bed, not wanting to get up and not wanting to deal with work. But eventually, he reluctantly got up to start his day.

Y/N made his way to the dining area where he was met with a big breakfast and his manager calling over.

"Mh- Y/N over here, I need to discuss something with you!" Y/n manager shouted to Y/N.

He had his computer next to him and a mouth full of breakfast.

When Y/n sat down to eat, he was greater with a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"So is there any reason you called for me so early in the morning, Noel?" Y/N questioned while taking a bite of the fluffy pancakes.

"Yes of course... I need you to get a job," Noel said nonchalantly.

Y/N nearly choked on his breakfast when he heard that. I was coughing a bit confused about what his manager had just said.

"cough cough. What was that?" He questioned

"As your manager, I want you to get a job," Noel replied.

"Wh- why do I need a job? I'm already an actor. Isn't that job enough?!" Y/N argued.

"Oh please I would hardly call that a job if anything you either get invited to star in shows or I have to schedule auditions... Plus having a job will give you a sense of relatableness for your image." Noel commented.

He noticed that Y/N was still not convinced and was just angrily eating pancakes at this point, so he tried to reason with him some more.

"Look Y/N I want you to do this so you can have a sense of maturity and freedom in your life. You've been an actor since you were three, and that's all because of your parents. I'm allowing you to I don't know take a break from the life your parents set for you..." Noel replied light-heartedly.

Y/N's face softened when he heard his manager say that. He was right. Y/N didn't work for anything nor had the freedom to do so. His whole life was presented to him way before he could even talk.

"Fine, I'll get a job... Y/n hesitated.

"Great! I went out of my way to find places hiring most of them, not as mainstream, so you don't form a crowd or something. You might have to hide your appearance outside work, something small, you know." Noel commented, pulling out a document of places hiring.

"Oh damn... uh." Y/N looked at the doc finding a job.

"How about this one," he says, pointing at one of the jobs.

Noel looked to see the one he picked.

"Great, I'll help you with the sign-up form. Are there any others you're interested in?" Noel commented.

The two went on discussing Y/N's future day job.

~♡~

It was the day of the interview. Y/n wore a simple outfit that could cover his hair and a pair of sunglasses to hide part of his face. He saw the text Noel sent him the address, making sure it was the right place. Once he was sure it was, he made his way inside. When in Y/N, he noticed an imp at the front desk.

"Um... excuse me do you know we're I.M.P is..." Y/N asked

"3rd floor to the left" the little imp responded, pointing to the elevator.

Y/N thanked the desk imp and made his way to the elevator.

[Author's note: This is my first fic. I hope it is at least decent. There's a lack of Blitzo x male reader, so I said, "Why not"]

Chapter Text

Y/n was in the elevator and decided to remove his sunglasses. Once he made it out to the hallway, he found the door with the I.M.P. logo and walked through it. When in, he was greeted with a hellhound managing the front desk. As well as two other imps sitting on the office couch talking to each other. When Y/N went in, he felt like 2-ton weights were placed on his shoulders. He made his way to the front to ask about the interview, but he could feel the two other imps that were just talking to each other stare at him.

"Hello there, I'm here for an interview. Do you know where that is..." Y/N asked nervously.

The hellhound looked up and went from zero attention to imitate attention in a matter of seconds.

"Over.. over there." She responded

"Thank you," Y/N replied, walking over to the office the hellhound pointed to.

"Crap, these people know who I am..." he thought to himself.

So now Y/n was on edge because these other demons knew who he was. So great start to the new job. He's now regretting his decision to agree to this.

"Why did I agree to this... Satan, please help me?!" Y/N nervously thought to himself. "No you're an actor for Satan's sake you've been to auditions more nerve-racking than this?!!"

"Hey, tall ass!" A voice shouted

All of a sudden, Y/N was snapped out of his train of thought once he heard the shout.

"Huh! What happened" He yelped in response.

Once Y/N got his train of thought back to his surprise, he was in the office of the boss of the company. He was so caught in his head that he didn't notice that he walked in without even introducing himself.

"Jeez, I thought I was going to need to call security on you or something... You were just standing there slightly looking at the floor.?!" The imp at the boss's desk responded.

"Oh! Apologies, I'm here for the interview." Y/N replied.

"Great, just pull up a chair, and we'll talk. The name's Blitzo the o is silent." Blitzo said as Y/N took a seat.

"So what's your deal? Are you with weapons? I didn't expect a succubus to be interested in an imp-owned business." Blitzo questioned fast-paced.

"Well, firstly, my name is Y/N L/N. I'm not sure if I got a chance to introduce myself." Y/N awkwardly responded.

Blitzo looked at him with a confused look, which made Y/N nervous.

"Never heard of yah. So what dirty work do you specialize in? Guns, poison, etc?" Blitzo continued with his fast-paced talking.

"I'm sorry wha-" Y/N was about to ask before getting interrupted by Blitzo.

"Nah, you seem too soft for that kind of work, ain't yah," Blitzo teases, getting closer to Y/N.

"Hey I'm not that soft-!" Y/N got interrupted by Blitzo... again.

"Don't worry, with me here. I'll make you a badass assassin, just not as badass as me. Hmm, I guess I can make you my assistant or something for now." Blitzo shrugged.

"Can I speak!" Y/N shouted

This stopped Blitzo's constant yapping and antics and he looked toward Y/N.

"I'm sorry, but what kind of business even is this?!" Y/N told Blitzo, confused.

"You're not serious, you signed up to work at an assassin company without even knowing what you signed up for." Blitzo deadpanned.

The whole office went silent. The atmosphere is so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"This... is an assassin company" Y/N also deadpanned.

Blitzo pinched the space between his eyes in annoyance.

"Yes, did you not look over the application?!" Blitzo shouted in annoyance.

"Not really, This was all my manager's idea?! It's not like I needed it, I'm already an actor?!" Y/N shouted back."

As soon as Blitzo heard that he instinctively rolled his eyes."Ooooh an actor~" Blitzo said sarcastically.

"Look I don't know who you are, mister Big Shot actor but if I'm going to be honest, you were the only interview we had in the last 3 weeks and I'm getting a bit desperate so do you want the job or not." Blitzo groaned seeing that Y/N was the only option available.

"Um. Yes, I'll take it!" Y/N enthusiastically got up from his seat.

"Perfect your first day starts tomorrow. Here's my number for contact reasons," Blitzo says as he goes to open the door.

Once he opened the door he noticed his employees hunched together trying to hear through the door.

"Hi, what the fuck are you three doing?" Blitzo questioned.

"Oh nothing, just helping Moxxie find something! He dropped it over here" The female imp responds.

"Yeah! Just dropped something" The smaller male imp named Moxxie added to the conversation.

"That's the best excuse you can come up with?" Blitzo said sarcastically.

Y/N steps out of the office overseeing the three from before and now being a lot calmer than before lets out a soft laugh under his breath when he notices them as fans or at least people who know of him.

"Um, I should get going I wish to meet you three tomorrow." Y/N politely replied.

"See ya," Blitzo was the only one who responded to Y/N.

The three looked at Blitzo as if he did something. Blitzo gives them a confused look back.

"Did you know who you just hired..." Loona questioned.

"I don't know some random actor schmuck or whatever," Blitzo replied confused.

"Sir that was Y/N L/N he's one of the most famous actors in hell!" Moxie gestured.

"Yeah, Blitzo he's stared or at least guest stared in almost every major show out there," Millie added to Moxxie's previous statement.

"Oh, totally I hear he's been acting since he was three," Loona said

"Look I could give two shits about this stuff all I know is that he was the only one who showed up for a job interview and I've been needing an assistant," Blitzo told his employees.

"Anyways tomorrow make sure you three don't fuck this up if he's so rich and famous as you say he is then make sure you don't make him uncomfortable who knows the type of shit he could get us in just for that" Blitzo explained

After that, everyone agreed and went back to their work till it reached the end of the day.

Chapter Text

A young Y/N was in the car with his mother. He looked to be around the age of five or six… He wondered where he was going because he had zero clue where.

“Mom, where are we going?” Y/N questioned

“Oh don’t worry, honey, you just have that audition remember” Y/N’s mother replied.

Suddenly, Y/N felt like he got the wind knocked out of him once he heard that. All this nervousness surrounded him as if he were tightly tied with fear. He had completely forgotten about that audition. He was so distracted by other stuff that it felt like he hadn’t practiced enough.he wrapped his tail around himself as a form of comfort or at least a way to calm himself down. Satan, he wishes the day would just end already. Auditions were the worst for him.

“Mom, do I have to do this,” Y/N asked softly.

“Why of course, sweetie, this will only increase you. Y/N’s mom explained to her practically shaking son.

“But what if I don’t really wanna be an actor…” Y/N muttered to himself.

“Y/N me and your father have spent much time and money setting up your life the least you can be is grateful,” Y/N’s mother communicated softly to Y/N.

“Um" Yes, mom, I'm sorry…” Y/N apologized softly, wrapping his tail around himself some more.

~♡~

The first day started eventful, to say the least. Once Y/N entered the office with his new co-workers. The three that seemed to know who he was tried to appear calm, but he could tell they were intrigued to see him again. It was just him, and the other three, it seemed like Blitzo wasn’t there yet.

“Um, is Blitzo here yet?” Y/N asked, entering the work office and going to hang around with the other three.

“Nah he’s just a bit late, is all,” the smaller female imp told him.

Y/N sighed hearing that but then thought he should get introductions over with.

“Well, now's the best time to do this, I guess,” Y/N muttered to himself.

“I apologize, but I didn’t get any of your names,” Y/N nervously asked.

“Oh of course! My name’s Millie,” She said, offering her hand out, which Y/N gladly took.

“That's my husband, Moxxie,” Millie pointed towards Moxxie, who nervously waved.

“And our hellhound, Loona,” Millie pointed again to Loona, who didn’t look up from her phone.

Y/N smiled, feeling welcomed at his new job just as he was about to start some small talk he was interrupted by… "Sigh, you would never guess who.

“N/N I need you in my office!” Blitzo announced specifically to Y/N.

Y/N looked at him, confused by the nickname Blitzo just said. He pointed to himself, questioning if Blitzo meant him. Blitzo replied with a yes. That being said, Y/N followed him to his office.

“So what was up with the nickname?” Y/N questioned

Blitzo just shrugged and replied, “I give all my employees nicknames."

“I might as well give one to my assistant.” He added.

Y/N rolled his eyes, taking a seat next to Blitzo. After a tiny bit, it went quiet. Y/N started to question why Blitzo even called him in the first place.

“So is there a reason you called me here?” Y/N questioned.

Blitzo just shrugged “You're my assistant, so I just give you the work I don't want to do, but since there's no work, we kind of just sit here till we get a client. Plus, I did say I would help you with handling weapons.”

Y/N sighed in annoyance when he heard that. So he went on his phone to check stuff on his phone. As they waited there for a while, they finally got a client. A purple-looking chick who was dressed like a teacher. She took a seat and introduced herself as Mrs. Mayberry, Blitz, and Y/N also introduced themselves to her.

“So I heard you kill people?” She asked the two behind the desk.

“You heard right, so what are we dealing with?” Blitzo responded with enthusiasm.

Mrs. Mayberry when on about how she was good and then killed her ex-husband and the bitch he was fucking but both Blitzo and Y/N could honestly care less. Once she was finished Blitzo responded back.
“I mean, was she hotter?” He asked.

“Blitzo, don’t be rude” Y/N elbowed Blitzo’s arm.

“Hey it's not my fault I had a hard time tits over her was spatting at and I could tell you were too?!” Blitzo argued with Y/N.

Y/N sighs before turning his attention away from Blitzo and towards Mrs. Mayberry.

“Look we or at least they kill people who are living and from your story it sounds like both your whore of a husband and the slut he was banging might as well be down here with you.” Y/N explained earning an impressed look from Blitzo.

“Not all of them… that slut survived. Now they all call her a hero…” Mayberry explained getting royally pissed off.

“Huh, impressive,” Y/N nodded.

“She is not a hero!” Mayberry shouted, slamming her fist on the office desk and leaning forward towards the two.

This causes both Y/N and Blitzo to get scared and Blitzo jumps onto Y/N much to his scared confusion.

“Mhm uh-huh yeah my thoughts exactly” Blitzo nervously agreed while frantically pushing a button under his deck to get his other employees attention.

Y/N tries to calm down Mrs. Mayberry, by agreeing with her. He got up and made his way towards her, gesturing to Blitzo to do the same.

“Yes of course ma'am you're absolutely correct and don't worry we'll kill that bitch who wronged you just sign these papers and give me the money and we'll be set.” Y/N explained before handing Mayberry a clipboard with the contract for the kill.

After that, the three of you exit Blitzo's office.

“Guys, I want you to meet-!” Blitzo was about to announce before an arrow Moxxie shot rickshaws off the walls.

Millie jumps into Moxxie's arms, it goes through a picture Loona was holding, hits the leg of a coffee table holding a fish tank full of eel, and was about to hit Y/N and Mrs. Mayberry, before Blitzo thankfully caught it be for it did.

“-our newest client,” Blitzo continued his further statement.

Without any warning, the nearby tank filled with Blitzo's eels knocks over and causes a fire.

“Damn it, Moxxie, I just bought those eels!” He shouted, throwing the arrow at the floor.

~♡~

Once everyone got out of the building and Y/N called the fire department, they were all standing on the sidewalk beside the building while Mrs. Mayberry took a cab.

“Byeeee and don't worry, we'll get that skank in less than 24 hours, or your first kill is free!” Blitzo yelled to the cab before it left.

“Since when did we start implementing that deal?” Moxxie questioned.

“When you set fire to my office in front of a client you fucking dick shit!” Blitzo shouted at Moxxie.

“Now someone please tell me that fancy book is still intact!” He shouted again.

“You mean our only ticket to the otherside yeah got it.” Loona explained.

Y/N took a quick look at the “fancy book” Blitzo was talking about… He noticed something special about the book.

“Is that… a Goetia sigil..?” He muttered to himself.

But before he could get his question answered, Blitzo grabbed him by the waist and pulled him into the portal. Once through the portal, Y/N’s questions doubled. He didn't have time to process or even realize he was a part of the mission. As the three made their way to kill, Y/N caught up to Blitzo to ask him questions.

“Blitzo why did you bring me along?!,” Y/N panicked.

“Chill, this is your first mission. Gotta make sure you get used to these.” Blitzo responded.

“But I don't have any experience with this shit?!” Y/N Argued.

Y/N didn't even notice that they made it to the house. Both Millie and Moxxie were already behind the house when Blitzo and Y/N made it.Blitzo checked the window, seeing that this was an easy client.

“Ha ha, perfect! see N/N this one's easy Mox how's about you take this one.” Blitzo explains.

“Me?” Moxxie responded with glee.

“Yeah this one seems simple enough for you. It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital.” Blitzo explains.

Once Moxxie heard that and looked out the window, his face shifted to discomfort.

“You snooze, you lose Mox!” Blitzo exclaimed, targeting the mother.

Y/N watched these bickering still pretty confused. He was still confused about how a small imp company managed to get their hand on a Goetia spellbook of all things. Once Moxxie and Blitzo were done talking

“Hey Blitzo, quick question?” Y/N asked.

“Ugh, make it quick,” he groaned, not taking his eyes off the target.

“How didn’t you manage to get a Goetia spellbook?” Y/N asked.

Before Y/N could get his question answered, Blitzo shot into the house but didn't hit the mom since Moxxie shoved him away. They quickly ducked away from the window as soon as that happened. This leads to Blitzo and Moxxie arguing, which is stopped when a gunshot goes through Blitzo's shoulder.

“Fuck a new hole scatter!” Blitzo yelled.

Blitzo gets a hold of Y/N as Millie makes her way towards the lake. Blitzo carries Y/N to the woods and books it as they both hear gunshots from the deranged cannibal mom. He stops behind a tree to put Y/N down and catch his breath.

“What the fuck was that!?” Y/N whispered.

“Shhh, keep it down!” Blitzo whispered, coveting Y/N’s mouth.

Suddenly, Blitzo, something wet on his palm, quickly moves his hand away from Y/N's mouth.

“Did you just fucking lick me!” Blitzo whispered before wiping the spit on Y/N

“Yeah so I can talk now, let me see your shoulder!” Y/N whispered a complaint before checking out Blitzo's shoulder.

As he checked out Blitzo's shoulder, he got a call.

“Mute that you idiot!” Y/N whisper shouted.

“Give me a second!” Blitzo whispered back.

Y/N was obviously pissed but tries to overhear the conversion. He can hear tiny bits, mainly Blitzo's part of the phone call. Suddenly, Y/N hears a gunshot and pushes both him and Blitzo away from the tree.

“I can hear you, darlings!” Yelled Martha

“Shit!” Y/n whispered, dragging Blitzo through the woods.

They stopped briefly as Y/N very angrily signals to Blitzo to end the call. Eventually, Blitzo agrees to something and is about to end the call, but then the phone loudly starts saying sex based profanity, leaving Blitzo grossed out, and Y/N confused. But before anything else could happen, Martha pinned Blitzo by the neck with the back of her shotgun. Y/N tried to escape, but Martha stomped on his back, preventing him from doing so.

“So you two are little devils, aren't you come to drag me and my kin to hell well… Not today, Satan!” Martha explains,

She pushes the back of the shotgun deeper in Blitzo's neck and stomps harder into Y/N's back

“Gonna send you back to where you came from!” Martha adds, giving a sinister look on her face.

~♡~

Blitzo, Millie, and Y/N were tied to a post as the dad laughs and throws the gasoline at them.

“I had that fucking shot god damn it Moxxie…” Blitzo complains.

Y/N ties to get out of the restraints as Martha starts talking about “returning them to Satan” or whatever. Without warning the stake with all three of them on it, it catches on fire. Realizing what Martha tried to do Y/N snorts at their failed attempt.

“Yeah, that's not exactly how this works lady sorry but your fire doesn't really hurt us,” Blitzo dead-panned

“Hey, I can fake it if it'll make you dick hard.” Y/N chimed in.

Blitzo laughs at what Y/N said.

“Oh, then I'll just shoot you in your smart ass mouth.” Martha explains.

Blitzo catches his breath before replying, “Now that would be more effective.”

Both Millie and Y/N shouted at him, “Blitzo!”

Martha laughs maniacally about to shoot the three demons. Until she gets shot through the eye by Moxxie.

“Moxxie!” Both Mille and Y/N shout Millie with glee and Y/N in surprise.

“You're not getting your god damn paycheck for this one Mox.” Blitzo complains.

Moxxie gets all three of them down… more like he helps Millie down, Y/N gets down fine, and Blitzo trips. Both Millie and Moxxie nuzzle faces when Mox helps her down.

“Oh yeah, thanks, I'm fine!” Blitzo yells sarcastically before Y/N helps him up.

“I'm sorry, sir. I compromised our objective and put us through harm's way so it won't happen again,” Moxxie apologizes.

“Apologies accepted,” Blitzo replied, hugging Moxxie.

He muttered something else, but it was pretty hard to hear. Blitzo tells everyone to go before Moxxie gets something from the house real quick, and Blitzo quickly calls Loona to open the portal. Once it opened, theyy decided to wait for Moxxie.While they waited, this gave Y/N the perfect opportunity to ask Blitzo about the book.

“Hey Blitzo,” Y/N asked.

“Yeah what now,” Blitzo replied.

“Where did you get that book..?” He asked.

“Uhm… what book?” Blitzo tried to avert the conversion.

“You know the book that made the portal here… the one with the Goetia sigil?” Y/N explained.

“Oh that! I'll tell you later,” Blitzo shrugged.

“What! But it's the perfect time to… How did you get that book?!” Y/N shouted before getting interrupted by Blitzo.

“Look, it doesn't concern you. Like I said, I'll tell you later…” Blitzo sighed.

Just as Y/N was about to defend himself, Moxxie came back, and Blitzo started a small conversation with him. Once done, both Y/N and Blitzo go through the portal.

Once in the office, Y/N makes his way to get a first aid kit and brings it to patch up Blitzo's shoulder wound.

While Y/N was patching him up, Blitzo noticed he was upset.

“Are you really upset with me?” Blitzo asked.

“No, I'm just thinking, Just call up the client and tell her our job is done.” Y/N replied.

Blitzo just rolls his eyes and calls up the client. Millie walked through the portal, but Moxxie was still outside the portal, so Blitzo just dragged him in.

~♡~

Once Mrs. Mayberry was here and finalizing her pay. Blitzo decides to celebrate with cake. The cake lightens Y/N's mood a bit as he just enjoys his slice. Blitzo sees this and smiles at Y/N’s change of mood.

Chapter Text

“Make it look good! I want my son to look worth a million bucks!” An adult male voice demanded.

“Ow that hurts...” Young Y/N flinched as his hair stylist messed with hair.

“Look kid I’m just doing what your pompous dick of a dad wants alright” The stylist scoffed.

Y/N just endured the painful hair treatment, not wanting to bother the pissy hair stylist. It was all fine until his dad walked into his dressing room.

“There’s my little money maker!” Y/N’s dad announced and gestured for the stylist to go.

“Hi dad.” Y/N said with little enthusiasm.

“Aww shit you - you look below acceptable... I mean, come on, that stylist of yours acts like I don't control their paycheck?!” His dad complained and laughed.

“But I think it turned out nice -” Y/N was about to respond before being interrupted.

Y/N’s father held onto Y/N's shoulders and faced him toward the vanity mirror with himself behind him.

“Look Y/N I'm going to be honest with you… no one will ever care what you think it all about what the audience thinks, the slightest nitpick will always make you look bad, okay son…” Y/N’s father said in a stern voice.

All Y/N could do is just agree with his father. No matter how much those words gave him chills…

~♡~

Y/N was sleeping soundly in his room. Which made sense since it was around Four-Thirty in the morning. That was until he was awoken by a large figure falling on top of him. This frightened Y/N, who ended up falling off his bed, the figure falling as well.

“What the fuck!?” Y/N shouted.

“Chill money bags, is it just me?!” A familiar voice shouted, grabbing onto Y/N's shoulders.

“Wait, Blitzo?!” Y/N shouted in confusion.

“Ah- How did you get in my house?!” He questioned.

“Air vent…” Blitzo replied.

Y/N looked up to his bedroom where the air vent was to find out that the cover was off of it.

“Sweet fucking satan… What do you want..?” Y/N Groaned.

“Well since you work for an assassination company now …and it looks like you can’t fight for shit I thought it would be a good idea to train you like I'm your cool mentor or something,” Blitzo explained.

“... And you thought it would be a good idea to do this AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING?!” Y/N shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“Well yeah it would be just the two of us… at night” Blitzo shrugged trying to explain his reasoning to Y/N.

“Whatever just get ready I’ll be in the van.” He says making an escape through Y/N’s bedroom window.

Y/N was confused why he went through the window but non the less he puts on his shoes and a sweater jacket to meet Blitzo outside. Blitzo opens the van door for him but some trash from inside the van falls out onto Y/N’s driveway. Y/N looks at Blitzo with an un pleased expression as Blitzo nervously chuckles. Once they started driving Blitzo would make quick glances towards Y/N who was just staring out the van window.

“So how have you been,” Blitzo tries to break the silence.

‘I’m fine” Y/N dead-panned, not even looking out the window.

After a really small talk they continue the drive in silence. Blitzo turned on the van radio to drown out the silence. The first song was one of Verosika’s songs but just as he was about to skip it he noticed Y/N softened a bit and hummed the song. Despite holding a grudge with Verosika he was glad that Y/N didn’t look so tense and unreadable.

“I never noticed how nice Imp city looked at night,” Y/N mentioned.

“Really don’t you like to live in the pride ring and like to visit places for your weird famous people acting or something?” Blitzo questioned

“Yeah but it's always work-related. I don't really get a chance to enjoy the scenery.” Y/N added.

“I’m actually originally from the lust ring.” He stated.

“That's not that surprising, but what made you choose the pride ring of all places?” Blitzo asked

“Uh-, Scenery change is all,” Y/N replied.

Blitzo questioned the hesitation in his voice, but they were about to pull up to the work building parking lot, so he didn’t question it as much. Once parked, Y/N got out, and Blitzo started digging through his trash filled van. Blitzo quickly sets up a shitty looking target practice consisting of cardboard boxes and empty cans. He goes up to Y/N, holding a bag full of weapons, for him to pick from.

“Pick your poison,” Blitzo jokes

Y/N was hesitant to pick one but went for a revolver from on top of the pile.

“So do I just shoot?” Y/N asked before accidentally shooting the gun and hitting a passing bird. He stared in terror at what he just did.

“Well not want I was going for exactly but props on actually killing something,” Blitzo patted his back.

~♡~

After Blitzo “Comforts” Y/N for accidentally killing a bird, both of them being the actual target practice.

“Okay, aim for the target and pull the trigger,” Blitzo explained as Y/N nervously held the revolver.

As soon as he says that, Y/N pulls the trigger and completely misses the target. He tries again and yet again misses. Blitzo could notice how tense and nervous he was.

“The fuck is wrong with this?” Y/N complained.

“It's cuz you're all tense and shit,” Blitzo commented and made his way towards Y/N.

“Look, your hands are all shaky.” He says, holding onto Y/N's.

“Just stay calm and pull the trigger,” he explains.

Y/N calms his nerves and pulls the trigger, finally hitting the can.

“See just a bit more experience, and you'll be a natural,” Blitzø praises.

Y/N feels proud of himself even if it was mainly Blitzo's help. He tries by himself this time, calming his nerves and pulling the trigger, but it zooms past the can instead of hitting it.

“I swear the fucking Lucifer…” Y/N Groaned.

“Hey, like I said, you'll get better with time,” Blitzo shrugs.

“Now onto some more junk!” Blitzo exclaimed, holding up the bag full of weapons.

~♡~

Once both were done with their training, Y/N lay on the floor of the parking lot exhausted. Blitzo stares down at him with two soda in his hands. He sits down next to Y/N, handing him a soda. Y/N sits up taking the soda offered to him.

“Awh, come on, I didn't work you that hard.” Blitzø laughs, taking a sip of his soda.

Y/N glares at him “You wanted me to dodge live bullets that you were shooting…”

“You dodged them, didn't you?” Blitzo snarked.

Y/N rolled his eyes and turned away from Blitzo. They were both back to the silence they had back in the car ride.. Both of their minds wandered off but while Y/N was thinking he remembered the Goetia book Blitzo managed to get a hand on. He still hadn’t told him how he got it and now seems like the perfect time.

“Hey Blitzo.” Y/N got his attention.

“Yeah what’s up?” Blitzo respond.

“Remember when I asked you about how you got that book.” Y/N mentioned

As soon as Blitzo heard that he groaned to himself before responding. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Where did you get the book,” Y/N asks.

Blitzo quickly thinks of something to say without being openly explicit with the deal he has with Stolas.

“Let's just say I know someone who lets me borrow this thing, an old friend I guess.” Blitzo sighs only partially telling the truth. Y/N stares at him wanting to ask more before Blitzo quickly cuts him off.

“Aaaaand, that's all the information.” Blitzo quickly ends.

“Wha- Hey that is so not fair?!” Y/N complained.

“Hey, it's all fair now help me clean up so we can head back and get ready before work starts” Blitzo gets up.

“Wait what-” Y/N is confused before he checks his phone. Work starts in 4 and a half hours.

“You kept me here till we had to start work!” “Y/N shouted

“I'm gonna be tired?!” He complained.

“It's fine I’ll grab you a coffee.” Blitzo reassures him and drags him to the van.

Chapter Text

The work day started as usual. Millie, Moxxie, and Loona were hanging in the office waiting room while Y/N and Blitzo were in Blitzo’s office. Blitzo was thriving while Y/N, on the other hand, was barely staying awake, depending on the mediocre coffee that Blitzo bought him to keep him awake.

“So how’s the coffee Rich Boy not up to your standards?” Blitzo teased, noticing Y/N’s unpleasant expression with each sip he took.

“It tastes like what you’d get if you were to ask for a coffee with everything then had put in it…” Y/N groaned, continuing to sip the coffee because he quite literally depended on it.

“Hey, that's exactly what I asked for!” Blitzo pointed out.

Y/N groaned, laying his head on Blitzo’s desk, resting his eyes by closing them to rest them. It ultimately led to him taking a quick nap on Blitzo’s desk. Blitzo didn’t notice him taking a nap and was too busy looking in his desk drawer for something to entertain himself with.

“Hey Y/N, this eraser kind of looks like Moxxie-” Blitzo wanted to discuss with Y/N but saw that he was taking a nap.

He scoffed, going back to looking through his desk drawer. All there was was an assortment of junk and a bag of googly eyes for some reason. He fidgeted with the eraser that supposedly looked like Moxxie bending it back but bent too far where it almost broke in half.

“Damn this is a cheap ass eraser,” Blitzo continued, messing with the eraser.

“Now it kind of looks like his big mouth,” This gave Blitzo an idea.

“Oooh I’m Moxxie, and my boss is the absolute best in the wooooorld~~” Blitzo imitated Moxxie, grabbing googly eyes and some other trinkets from his desk and placing them on the eraser.

Blitzo looked at the other junk in his drawer, getting another idea. He pulled out more junk from his desk to make a makeshift Millie.

“I’m Millie and I have a pussy for a husband,”Blitzo does a horrible imitation of her.

He laughed to himself and looked back at Y/N who was deep into his nap. Blitzo rolled his eyes and pulled out whatever was left in his desk and made a crappy Y/N. He was made of an old soda bottle cap, some broken paper clips and pipe cleaners.

“Ooooh I’m Y/N I’m so much better than my boss and co-workers cuz I’m a famous actor and Imps are nothing compared to me,” Blitzo teased with bitterness in his voice.

He was about to flick it across the room but instead put it on his desk. He then gets one final idea, a very shitty one.

“Oh Blitzo you’re such a good boss.” Blitzo imitates Millie.

“Yeah I really want you sir” He imitates Moxxie.

“Lets three-way~~” He acts as himself.

He places his fake coworkers down his pants… like a pervert. He looks at the fake Y/N and grabs him with his tail. Suddenly he was interrupted by his phone ringing.

“What!” Blitzo yells at the phone sipping the coffee he still had.

“Why hello my Big dicked Blitzy~” Stolas flirted through the phone which made Blitzo spit out the coffee he was drinking.

“What the fuck Stolas!” Blitzo yells through the phone.

He can hear Stolas complain about the profanity through the phone. After that brief commotion Stolas told him that he had a special request. Blitzo gave a displeased face before replaying.

“Look I just had a chemical peel so you have to find someone else's face to place to plant that feathered ass.”He complained.

“It's for my daughter.” Stolas shortly explained.

“Well make sure she washes it.” Blitzo says nonchalantly, grabbing a makeshift paper crown from his desk and placing it on his head.

Stolas shortly panics but then explains to Blitzo that he’s taking her to Loo Loo Land. He also explains that they need bodyguards and that Blitzo and his co-workers would like to accompany them. Blitzo argues that they’re assassins and not bodyguards but that is quickly shot down with Stolas promising them money and Blitzo being who he is quick to accept. He took a quick glance at Y/N hesitating if he should even go on this trip. But on the other hand it’ll be a good excuse for company bonding.

So he grabs a megaphone from under his desk to announce to the others.

As he yells through the microphone that they’re going to Loo Loo land it wakes up Y/N from his naps and makes him hit head on the back wall.

“Loo Loo Land?” Moxxie questions

Millie bursts through the office window head first and shouts “Loo Loo Land!”

“Loo Loo Land!” Blitzo shouts through the microphone again.

“Was that Fucking necessary?!” “Shut the Fuck up!” Y/N and Loona shouted at the same time.

~♡~

Cut to four fifths of I.M.P waiting for Prince Stolas. Y/N was in the front seat looking at his phone and fiddling with the sunglasses Blitzo gave him. He was still a bit tired and didn't care about the situation. He planned to just dissociate for the whole day, only responding when people called for him.

That was until finding out who they would be bodyguarding. It was Prince Stolas of Ars Goetia and his daughter. Y/N was internally panicking.

“Was this the old friend Blitzo was talking about?!” He thought to himself.

“Why didn't he say something for fuck sake?!” Y/N mentality groaned.

Safe to say that the entire van ride Y/N was as stiff as a board.

~♡~

As soon as they got to the park, everyone got out of the van but Y/N, who quickly grabbed Blitzo and pulled him inside the van again.

“Christ on a stick N/N the fuck was that about?!” Blitzo complains, rubbing where Y/N yanked.

“Blitzo when were you gonna tell me this friend of yours was one of the princes of the fucking Ars Goetia?!” Y/N whispered.

“Uhhh, sooner than later,” Blitzo awkwardly shrugged.

“Oh really?! Because I gave you so many opportunities to explain, and you brushed aside all of them!” Y/N complained.

“Look, it was hard to explain he's needy for a prince!” Blitzo defended himself while Y/N looked angrily at him.

“I feared that you would get involved, Hell, I even hesitated bringing you on this trip in the first place?!” He added.

“I thought it would be a good bonding experience, you know,” Blitzo defended himself, giving Y/N an awkward smile.

Y/N rolls his eyes and pushes Blitzo out of the van, quietly stepping out of the van, hoping not to be seen by the prince. But that wish was short-lived since the prince noticed him straight away. Stolas made his way toward Y/N Via following her father.

“Crap he knows, I mean, they are close, aren't they?!” Y/N internal panicked to himself.

“I'm sorry to ask, but are you Y/N L/N?” Stolas softly asked.

“Uh- yes, your highness,” Y/N replied with a bow but was internally screaming.

Stolas let out a gasp, and his expression went from a calm demeanor to an excited fangirl almost.

“Gasp! You play Alejandro in Helluva-Novela, correct?!” Stolas practically beamed with joy.

“Dad… you're being embarrassing,” Stolas’ daughter Octavia groaned.

“Oh - yes, in fact, heh never expected a fan to be someone of such high status.” Y/N sighed in relief.

Blitzo finally gets up and brushes himself, and the first thing he sees is Stolas getting buddy buddy with Y/N. He quickly scurried to pull Stolas into the park, everyone one else following behind them.

“Oh Blitzy, when were you going to tell me you hired someone so famous?” Stolas to Blitzo.

“Look, this is work and work Only, me and my crew aren't here to satisfy your perverted bird needs.” Blitzo scoffs.

“It’s fine, Blitzy , I have standards, I would never do such a thing especially when you now work with someone so famous.” Stolas continued to gush about Y/N in front of Blitzo.

Both Octavia and Y/N caught up with them. Octavia trying to get her father’s attention. Y/N on the other hand looked around at the scenery around him. He had only ever gone to Lu Lu World granted only for actor purposes, he never really liked being in the Greed ring either. As he was lost in his thoughts one of the park mascots caught him by surprise.

“Well hello there I’m Loo Loo!” The Mascot announced.

Y/N screamed and accidentally karate chopped the poor guy in the neck who proceeded to fall on the floor writhing in pain.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry,” Y/N frantically apologized.

As the mascot was curled up in pain he noticed Y/N and while in pain asked something. “Aren’t you Y/N… from-”

But Y/N quickly ran in the other direction to find the others. Ignoring the poor guy.

~♡~

Once Y/N grouped up with the others, Moxxie started complaining about the price of the park’s novelty items. Y/N took a glance at the prices and he was surprised to say the least.

“Jeez, 30 almost 40 bucks for a single use cup?” Y/N complained.

“I mean who would buy a 30 buck cup-?!” He complained some more.

“Hey Y/N I bought you a cup,” Blitzo handed Y/N a novelty cup filled with soda.

“Wait wha-” Y/N stopped his rambling.

“Now how about we take the first batch so you two can have a little fun,” Blitzo explains, pulling Y/N closer to him.

“Ooooh We gotta try my favorite ride!” Millie squeals, picking up Moxxie and taking him to the ride.

Blitzo and Y/N watch them leave before Blitzo hands Y/N the revolver from last night.

“Here take this.” Blitzo tosses Y/N the revolver and makes his way towards Stolas and Via.

Y/N clumsy catches the revolver and follows Blitzo shortly.

~♡~

“Soo is there any chance I can keep this,” Y/N asked Blitzo as they made their way to Stolas.

“It’s a fat fucking chance,” Blitzo laughs as he moves around doing his ‘Bodyguard’ job.

Y/N stares at him making a fool of himself till Blitzo makes his way behind Stolas.

“You know it’s quite thrilling to see you on the job Blitzy~,” Stolas flirts with him.

“Save it bitch I’m working,” Blitzo sighs.

Both Via looks at them in disgust while Y/N on the other hand looks at them in confusion.

“You both need to get a room,” Via complains.

Suddenly something clicked into Y/N’s brain “Holy shit my boss is banging royalty…”

This made the situation ten times more awkward, it was interesting to say the least for Y/N. He tried to stop thinking about it and focused on the situation at hand. But it didn’t mean the thought would go away.

“Oh look Via, you used to cry such tears of joy at this show!” Stolas reminisced.

“Oh no,” Via noticing the tent.

Blitzo noticed the tent as well and was absolutely not pleased to see it.

“I hate that fucking clown,” Both Via and Blitzo say at the same time.

Y/N stares at the both of them in confusion till Stolas calls out to Blitzo that he needs his bodyguard. Blitzo quickly shoots his shotgun to one of the imps and they all scurry away. Blitzo carries Stolas who still has a bag on his head and the group makes their way to the tent.

~♡~

Once they make it in, Blitzo plops Stolas on a seat next to Via. He drags Y/N to the top of the tents bleachers to keep watch. As the show starts Y/N could have sworn he heard a familiar voice.

“Hey, implings it's me, the robotic Fizzaroli! shipped from big Ozzie’s factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo land spelled with O’s to avoid lawsuits, Hit it!” The Robo Fizz replica explained.

As soon as the music started Y/N stared in shock.

“Fizzy?!” Y/N shouted out in surprise, catching the attention of Blitzo.

“Wait, how do you know him?” Blitzo questioned.

“I’ll explain later,” Y/N sighs.

Blitzo rolls his eyes before he realizes what Y/N just did “Ah- You son of a Bitc-!”

~♡~

“Damn this is a very repetitive song,” Y/N mentions.

“Tell me about it,” Blitzo agrees.

Once the song finally ends Stolas is clapping and cheering not knowing someone was gonna stab him before someone shoots the imp.

“My good aim you have Blitz-” Stolas was about to say.

“Holy shit I actually got him!” Y/N cheered being the one who shot the guy.

“Oh, thank you Y/N,” Stolas thanked him, not expecting it.

Octavia groans something and runs away before Stolas can run after her. Y/N was about to follow them until he was stopped by Blitzo and Robo Fizz.

“Hahaha Oh, is that BlitzO my sensor spot over there!” Robo laughed maniacally.

“I guess the kiddies are still running away from you huh Hahaha?!” He added more insult to injury.

“The O is silent now,” Blitzo explains.

“Wait it wasn’t to begin with?!” Y/N adds before getting shut up by Blitzo.

“Aw just like your audience was when you told your lazy jokes here” Robo says, giving Blitzo fake sympathy.

“Bitch I make more money then You do being a cheap ass robo ripoff of an overrated sell out jester!” Blitzo shouts at the robo replica of Fizzarolli.

“Ooooh Someone’s salty real or not though people love me does anybody love you BlitzO.” Robo says in a threatening manner.

“No but I’m really good with guns now, dance bitch!” Blitzo shoots at Robo who cartwheels his way towards Blitzo and throws him out of the tent.
Y/N tries to escape but Robo grabs onto him getting a good look at him.

“Oh my, is that Y/N?!” Robo stares at him.

“I uhhh,” Y/N tries to escape his confines from Robo.

“Aww Sooo many people miss you in the lust ring, But it seems like you have another job,” Robo says with a sinister voice before spinning and throwing Y/N the same way Blitzo went.

~♡~

As soon as Y/N was thrown he landed on Blitzo who was in a now broken carnival game stand.

“N/N?!” Blitzo exclaimed.

“Hehe I’m fine,” Y/N reassures in a dizzy manner.

“You three should probably make sure stolas is okay. I got some unfinished business to take care of,” Blitzo stands up, dropping Y/N pointing his gun at Robo.

Millie grabbed onto an almost out cold Y/N and she and Moxxie made their way to where Stolas. They follow him to this play house that looks like Lucifer's head and in there Millie shoots the Imp trying to chloroform Stolas.

“That’s better where is Blitzy, he’s my knight in shining armor not you littler ones,” Stolas complains.
“He’s a… Busy,” Millie explains,

“Being a fool,” Moxxie adds to the conversation.

“What kind of fool?” Stolas questioned.

“Everything is now on fire kind.” Moxie explains.

Stolas goes the other way as both Millie and Moxxie check on Y/N. Both of them are scared for a bit but then come to realize he just passed out from the dizziness caused by Robo Fizz.

“Are you sure you can handle him? We can leave him, probably just leave him with Stolas?” Moxxie explains with worry.

“Trust me I got a plan,” Mille explains, tying the sleeves from Y/N’s suit to make sure he doesn’t fall off.

~♡~

Let just say the last thing Y/N remembers after waking up is an explosion sending him and the rest of I.M.P soaring across the park screaming. He looked around in utter confusion at the park in literal shambles and both Stolas and Via somehow unscathed.

“Way to ruin another good thing sir!” Moxxie shouts at Blitzo.

“Worth it that slutty toy clown had it coming!” Blitzo explains.

“Fucking Lucifer everything hurts!” Y/N complains still face planted on the ground.

~♡~

As soon as Y/N gets home, he bandages himself and flops on his bed not wanting to move. Suddenly his manager Noel walks in with his computer in hand and sits on Y/N’s bed.

“Y/N I got news for you,” Noel explains to Y/N who tiredly moves his head to pay attention.

“So when you were at your job I got an email from the lust ring isn’t that fun,” Noel explains.

Y/N quickly got up in shock but immediately regretted it because he felt at least three bones pop. He went back to lying on his bed not moving an inch.

“But yeah it's from Prince Asmodeus himself he’s inviting you to Ozzie's and says he’s got something important to tell you,” Noel explains further.

“Hehe, color me stoked,” Y/N laughs nervously.

“He says the meeting is on October 31 and to make sure you make it,” Noel finishes off explaining the email.

“Perfect, you can go now Noel,” Y/N shoos him away before laying back and hiding in the covers.

Chapter Text

Blitzo decided to pick up his employees and drive them to work at once. You know how any good boss/friend would do. Blitzo was singing pretty poorly to the songs on the radio. Y/N was in a seat in the back with M&M. He couldn’t get his mind off of the email from a few weeks ago. The majority of the car ride he was on his phone looking at the email as if he was manifesting that it would go away or if it was some typo.

“Y/N, sweetie you’ve been staring at that email for a long time. Is everything okay?” Millie asked, putting a hand on his back.

Y/N snapped back into reality thanks to Millie, “Huh- Oh yeah, just uh got a company email, nothing more!”

He lied, hoping that Millie would take it. Thankfully, Millie took his lie, but suddenly, the van swerved and quickly hit the breaks, leaving everyone a bit shaken.

“Oh you suck for life, don't yeah?!” Blitzo scolded.

As Blitzo yelled out the window with his megaphone, Y/N took a peek out the window and noticed a familiar pink car. Just to prove his suspensions and even familiar succubus stepped out of the car.

“Oh shit Veronika!” Blitzo was dumbfounded.

“BlitzO” Verosika declared, also used the O in his name like how Robo did.

As both her and Blitzo argued, Y/N was both shocked and thrilled to see Verosika. He and her have been the closest friends since Verosika would guest star in some of the shows he was in. He wanted to go out there and say hi, but the tension felt high. Eventually, Blitzo fell out of the van and walked toward her.

“Why are you parking here? This is the only parking spot my company has!” Blitzo scolded.

“So take your tampon race car somewhere else!” He argued more.

“Actually prick it has my name on it,” Verosika pointed to the scribbled out I.M.P name in favor of her own.

“I'm doing a bit of freelance for one of the infinitely more successful companies in the building,” She explains.

“No way,” Loona was shocked at the sight of Blitzo and Verosika.

Y/N couldn't blame her. He was surprised by such a sight. Come to mention, Y/N did remember her getting really pissed about an ex of hers… eh, it was probably a different story.

Suddenly, Verosika made her way past the I.M.P van, and it gave Y/N a good time to say hi. But when Blitzo started yelling about his parking space, a threatening hellhound named Vortex stood behind him, intimidating him.

“Or you'll what,” Vortex threatened Blitzo.

“Or I'll uh- I'll call H.R,” Blitzo stated.

The three of them had a quick laugh before going back to seriousness.

“Anyway, meet my new hellhound, Vortex,” Verosika introduces him.

“Unlike you, he actually does his job well,” Verosika quickly adds before walking away.

“Uh- well yeah I have a new employee too and he is ten times better than your whore ass!” Blitzo shouts out getting Verosika's attention.

“Oh yeah, who is this ‘far better’ person,” she snarks.

Y/N steps out of the car as if the whole thing was planned or something. Both Verosika and Vortex were shocked, but not for the reason Blitzo was thinking.

“See you're fucking speechless!-” Blitzo laughed before getting interrupted.

“Succu-baby!” Verosika squeals, running up, picking up Y/N slightly, and kissing him on the cheek.

Vortex quickly makes it to her side.

“Hi Vero,” Y/N greeted back, getting put down.

This left Blitzo with a confused and kind of mortified look on his face.

“Is this what you've been doing?” Vero asked.

“Heh, yeah, just a bit of freelance ya know,” Y/N replies.

Blitzo couldn't let this stand, so he made his way towards the both of them standing beside Y/N.

“Uh yeah, what do you think you're doing with MY employer?” Blitzo sternly said.

“Chill Blitzo Vero's just a close friend,” Y/N calmed him down.

“Yeah Blitzo wouldn't want Y/N here to switch business,” Vero said sarcastically, bringing Y/N closer to her.

“Heh heh, that's a bit of an overkill, isn't it?-” Y/N suggests before getting interrupted.

“How about I take him for a bit to catch up on lost time,” Verosika commented before walking away with Y/N, not giving Blitzo a chance to respond.

Y/N, on the other hand, was just happily walking beside Vero, too infatuated to acknowledge Blitzo. He took this as an opportunity to get his mind off the dreaded email that haunted him.

“Hey- Y/N– sigh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that,” Blitzo sighs.

~♡~

As both Verosika and Y/N made their way into where Verosika was doing freelance. Both Vero and Y/N sat down on one of the lounge room couches and started small talk.

“So do you have something going on with my boss or?” Y/N asked.

Verosika groaned and rolled her eyes after hearing that. “Ugh, remember that ex I would rant to you about?”

“Yeah, the one who stole your credit card..? Holy Shit that was Blitzo!” Y/N finally got the realization, and Vero simply just nodded.

“Damn, I didn’t see him as that kind of guy… actually yeah I can totally see him doing that,” Y/N started out surprised but he quickly realized that this is Blitzo who we were talking about.

“Heh the funny thing is that I’m pretty sure he’s banging royalty now,” Y/N blurted out, looking to the side.

Verosika choked up a bit in surprise. “I’m sorry he’s what!”

“I– Don’t tell him I said that,” Y/N realized what he just said and tensed up.

“Which royal is it?” Verosika asked, intrigued by this gossip.

“Uh- Prince Stolas,” Y/N continued with this gossip.

This led to Verosika asking Y/N about the whole thing. Y/n responded with the whole thing going on at Loo Loo Land from a few weeks ago. Both are absolute gossipers with Blitzo’s sex life.

“Yeah Prince Stolas totally has a thing for him, Haha sighs that poor soul, doesn't know what he’s getting into” Y/N sighed, looking back and blushing a bit

Verosika noticed his face, realizing what he’s feeling.

“Heh, sounds to me that you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” Vero teases a bit.

“What does that mean?” Y/N questioned.

“As much as it pains me to realize, You have a thing for Blitzo don’t you.” Verosika tells Y/N.

Y/N chokes up a bit after hearing that, “What, of course not why would you ever date my boss of all people, plus he’s your ex that makes it ten times worse?!”

Verosika simply raised her eyebrow towards Y/N.

“Vero I’m being serious he’s just my work boss,” Y/N looked at her.

“Whatever you say, baby, just remember, if he ever breaks your heart, you know to call me,” Vero reassured him and kissed him on the cheek in a platonic way.

Y/N rolled his eyes playfully, punching Verosika’s arm. Then, out of nowhere, Blitzo kicks open the door and starts yelling.

“Oh hey Blitzo,” Y/N spoke up.

“Alright if you’re gonna steal my employer, then i challenge you to a fucking- challenge!” Blitzo announces.

“Fuck I said that twice.” Blitzo groaned.

“Mmh is this imp challenging us to a demon duel?” A member for Verosika’s posse spoke up.

“I think he, What's the game than Blitzo,” Verosika chimed in.

“Every year you STD spreaders go up top for easy pickings when spring break is a prime time for crime of all kinds!” Blitzo explains.

“So I bet you succuBitches can’t fuck as many people as we can off by the end of the day.” He explains the challenge further.

This made Y/N raise his eyebrow up and stare at Blitzo, considering he's a succubus himself.

Verosika and the other succubuses laugh. Until Blitzo glares at him, meaning this was serious.

“Oh you’re serious. What's the catch?” Vero teases.

“If I win, then I get my parking space,” Blitzo explains.

“What’s in it for me?” Verosika questions.

“I don’t know - does it matter,” Blitzo complains.

“Hmm how about this if I win, I get to keep the parking spot and this cutie works for me for the rest of spring break,” Verosika mentions while she brings Y/N closer to her.

“And if you win, you can keep him and your little parking spot.” She and to her deal.

“What!” Both Y/N and Blitzo yell out at the same time.

“Oh hell no!” Blitzo yells out.

“Oh well, deal off c’mon Y/N,” Vero says, trying to pull at Blitzo’s leg.

Blitzo panics a bit before finally agreeing to the deal. “Fine game on Bitch, let's go Y/N.” He announces before getting called out by Verosika.

“Uh-Uh, You said you bet us ‘succubitches’, Y/N here is a succubus so until the bet ends he’ll work for me,” Verosika says sadistically.

“What- but he’s my employer!?” Blitzo objects.

“You’re words not mine plus it all depends on how the bet will end.” Vero says before walking away with Y/N.

“What- Y/N?!” Blitzo tries to call out only to be kicked out of the succubus’ office room.

As the door’s shut Verosika’s posse immediately started getting to work. They all had human disguises and stage equipment in hand. Meanwhile Y/N and Verosika continued chatting.

“Damn, I’m really a prize for a bet,” Y/N exclaims.

“Hey you deserve to be fought for,” Verosika teases

“Heh, yeah but was the whole working against my boss necessary, I kind of feel bad.” Y/N worries.

“Succubaby, would you rather work with your boring boss or would you rather work for your bestest friend?” Verosika reassures him.

“I guess hanging with you isn’t that big of a crime.” Y/N laughs a bit.

“Atta boy, now show me your human form,” Verosika asks.

“My what?” Y/N questions.

“You do have a human disguise since your job involves going up there.” Verosika questions even more.

Y/N just kind of just blinks and stands there looking guilty.

“You and your crew have been going up there without human disguise?!” Vero was shocked.

“I didn’t know that was essential?!” Y/N defends himself.

“It's fine, you don’t seem to have any crystal of any kind, Guess I’ll have to do it the old fashion way.” Verosika explains.

Without warning Verosika brings Y/N closer to her and bites him on the neck.

“Ah- The fuck was that for-?” Y/N complained.

Suddenly he felt weird and next thing you know his horns, tail, and succubus wings were gone and his skin was replaced with a S/C tone. As well as his hair being replaced with H/C hair.

“Ehhh, that felt weird.” Y/N complained as he looked down at his hands.

Vero landed him one of her compact mirrors so he could get a better look.

“Ahh! I look weird!” Y/N yelped.

As Y/N was looking at his newfound human form, Verosika transformed into her own human from opening a portal in the process.

“Uhh.. is this permanent?!” Y/N panicked slightly.

“Don't worry, babe, this disguise will wear off right after the show ends.” Verosika reassures him.

“By the way, you really need to get yourself an Ozzie crystal or at least a disguise when you go up there.” She adds.

“Now c’mon everyone is setting up.” Verosika said before pulling Y/N into the portal.

~♡~

Once everyone entered through their portals, the beach was surrounded by humans. Y/N was uneasy since he's never been around so many humans before, especially since he's now inconspicuous.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Y/N asked.

“So basically Miss Verosika will lure in a bunch of humans with her singing while we go out and pray on them.” A member of Vero's posse answered.

Y/N made an uneased face as soon as he heard that. The idea of seducing random humans displeased him. Verosika saw this and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Don't worry, you'll just be my backup singer,” She reassured a now calmed Y/N.

Y/N sighed in relief after hearing that.

~♡~

There was a crowd of people surrounding the stage waiting for the show. While Y/N peaked out the stage curtain, he looked around to see the numerous people, he quickly glanced towards the beach and saw Blitzo and the rest of I.M.P doing their usual killing spree. Y/N felt kind of bad for ditching them.

“Hey Y/N whatchu lookin at” Verosika asked, appearing behind him ready for the show.

“Huh–! Oh just impressed with the crowd is all.” Y/N reassured her.

“Heh yeah, well make sure you’re ready, we’re on in a few minutes.” Verosika told him.

~♡~

Blitzo and the rest of I.M.P were stuffing bodies into bloody trash bags already having quite a bit of kills. While stuffing one of the bags Blitzo proudly announced it.

“That’s nine kills in the bag I wanna see that succubitch snatch orgasm that many–”

Suddenly he heard Verosika’s voice coming from the stage.

“Alright spring breakers!”

Verosika’s silhouette stood on a rising pedestal that raised her onto the stage. The entire stage was covered in fog from the fog machines. Right next to her wrapped around her arm was Y/N’s silhouette posing for the crowd holding a microphone.

“Yall ready to get fucked up and make some bitches bad choices!” Verosika announced to the crowd.

~♡~

Once she announced that the smoke from the stage went away revealing both Verosika and Y/N in their human forms.The crowd erupted with cheers and screams. Some guy even ripped his shirt off. Y/N looked at the crowd in awe before Verosika signaled him to start the song.

Y/N nodded before speaking into the mic.

“This is your final boarding call, All aboard~”

The screens on the side of the stage lit up with them saying ‘Fuck You Blitzo” on them.

Blitzo himself saw this and growled in anger at what he was seeing. Meanwhile on stage Verosika started the song and her and Y/N walked across the stage posing and making seductive faces towards the audience.

“Pack your bags, Sun’s Out” Verosika started.

“Take a vacay, babe, take it straight to bone town,” Y/N continued posing and blowing kisses to the audience.

As they sang the crowd was getting frisky with each other, Verosika’s posse started praying on singles in the audience.
“Got damnit, that bitch started her goatish mating call!” Blitzo complained.

“Now she’s gonna win all these sex maniacs! We gotta pick things up guys,” Blitzo added.

~♡~

Off to the side of Blitzo was some random surfer dude vomiting on the ground. Blitzo notices him and asks a distracted Loona if he was on the victims list when she replies with a probably. Blitzo swings up an Ax before killing the guy.

“Alright next one Loonie come on,” Blitzo told her only to notice that she was gone.

“Wha–! Wher–? Where’s my baby?!” Blitzo shouts out in worry and confusion.

Millie pointed out that Loona was going over to where Vortex was bodyguarding. Pissing Blitzo off.

~♡~

Verosika and Y/N continued the song posing and signaling to the audience. Once the song was coming to an end Verosika takes a swig of the flask she has before announcing to the audience.

“Now who wants a piece of this,” She shouts before throwing it to the audience.

The flask ended up landing in the ocean where it spilled beezlejuice onto a fish. Probably nothing to worry about. The song switches to a calmed down instrumental before Verosika and Y/N leave the stage. Just as Y/N was leaving the stage he notices Blitzo, Loona and Vortex having a conversation. He gets flustered thinking they saw him before rushing backstage.

~♡~

While backstage Y/N sat on one of the provided couches when Verosika brought him into a hug.

“Ooooh you did so good,” Verosika squealed, hugging Y/N.

“Yeah I guess all that acting paid off,” Y/N grinned.

“Hey also that other thing,” Verosika winked to him.

“Ah- Pshhhh–! Don’t say it out loud, That was just a phase!” Y/N got flustered pushing Verosika’s arm.

“Alright, find That secret is safe with me,” Vero reassured him.

Y/N sighed laying their back down on the backstage couch, That was until his disguise from earlier started to wear off. Next thing you know N/N was back to being a succubus. He started what the rest of I.M.P was doing. He still kind of feels bad for kind of ditching them.

“Hey, Vero do you mind if I step out for a bit,” Y/N asked.

“You wanna go check on your boss don’t you,” Verosika teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Wha-! How’d you know?” Y/N blushed.

“Have my way, just go and be careful.” She encouraged him.

With that being said Y/N sneaked past the crowd and found Blitzo suffocating some guy by the boardwalk. Y/N puts a hand on Blitzo's shoulder to get his attention. Blitzo looked behind him to see Y/N.

“Oh great look who came crawling back, so you done sucking face with randos,” Blitzo said sarcastically.

“Pshhh as if I’d stoop low enough to bang humans,” Y/N joked as he took a seat on the sand.

Blitzo rolled his eyes as he took a seat on the sand as well. Y/N had a feeling something was up with him but he also knows Blitzo will just deny it he had a slight suspicion of what it might be.

“Sorry for ditching you,” Y/N sighed, this catches Blitzo off guard.

“What was that?” Blitzo looked at him with confusion.

“I’m sorry for ditching you guys for Vero, it was kind of a dick move.” Y/N reassured.

“Yeah it kind of was,” Blitzo added to his statement.

Blitzo looked at Y/N, his face unreadable.

“Sighs I guess you feel bad about it so apology accepted,” Blitzo rolled his eyes.

“Heh thanks Blitzo,” Y/N smiled.

“Yeah don’t get used to it” Blitzo punched him in the arm.

Just as they were finally relaxing a fish monster from the ocean blocked their sun and let out a loud growl.

“What the Fuck is that?!” Y/N shouted.

Soon enough the Monster grabbed onto Moxxie and at the poor guy.

“Aw shit that’s not good,” Blitzo stated before him and Y/N made their way over there.
Once they were over there they realized Millie cut the monster's tongue out sending Moxxie flying into Blitzo’s arms. The cut piece of the tongue nearly missed some guy in the background but Blitzo instantly shot him making drunk Moxxie cheer. The three of them watch Millie single handedly kill this fish monster by herself.

“I love that woman,” Moxxie says drunkenly.

“Oh she totally pegs you doesn't she,” Blitzo joked making Y/N laugh a bit.

Once Millie finally killed the monster everything started to die down.

“Wooo! way to show off Millie,” Y/N cheers for her.

“Is Mox okay!” She asked with Blitzo promptly dropping him on the floor telling her that he’s fine.

She went over to him and hugged the poor drunk imp. Blitzo and Y/N stepped away from the wholesome display before a familiar face called it was Verosika.

The rest of I.M.P grouped up next to Blitzo. Y/N on the other hand was waving at her.

“That was rather obvious don't you think.” Verosika told them.

“I don’t think this belonged to any of us,” Millie said, throwing her flask towards them.

“Would be a shame if anyone found out you guys were behind a giant monster fish in the human world.” Millie teased them.

Moxxie started laughing the poor thing still drunk.

“Oh satan, you guys are so fucked.” he teased before falling over.

“Yeah well you there nasty ass gremlins will be in shit for not being in disguises.” Verosika defended herself.

Moxxie spoke up, “A human called me a possum… I am not a possum.”

You know, we can keep this little bee movie scene on the down low if you let us have Y/N and the parking space back” Blitzo tried to convince her.

Verosika reluctantly agreed causing Blitzo and Millie to celebrate. Verosika and her posse started to walk away before Y/N called out for her.

“Hey Vero call me later okay,” Y/N announce and Verosika gave him a thumbs up before he jumps through the portal.

Chapter Text

“Sigh it’ll be fine it’s just a phone call..” Y/N sighed, preparing himself for making a phone call.

The phone number was already dialed and all he needed to do was hit call. He went with it and hit the call button while listening to the phone ring. After a good minute he heard someone pick up the phone.

“Hellooooo,” Blitzo responded from the other side of the phone.

“Hey, Blitzo, are you doing anything at the moment?” Y/N asked just to make sure he wasn’t disturbing anything important.

“Uhhh, no not at the moment, Why do you ask?” Blitzo questioned not really getting calls from Y/N.

“Uh- I was just asking if you wanted to come with me to this cafe I like going to.”Y/N suggested.

“What’s the catch..?” Blitzo suspected.

“What- nothing can’t I just invite you for some coffee.” Y/N reassured him.

“Fine, as long as you’re not trying to get into my pants I’ll be there.” Blitzo sighed, agreeing to the invite.

“Great, I'll send you the address.” Y/N beamed that this actually worked

“I’ll go as long as you're paying.” Blitzo stated.

“Fine, just be there okay.” Y/N agreed before hanging up.

~♥~

Once Blitzo made it to the cafe Y/N sent him he was pretty surprised that Y/N was outside waiting for him. Once Y/N saw Blitz he waved to get his attention. Blitzo made his way towards him next to the door.

“Important boss men first I guess.” Y/N joked, opening the door for Blitzo.

Blitzo rolled his eyes as they both made their way inside to place their orders. Once they made it to the counter Blitzo already knew what he wanted.

“I want something iced, Bitch!” Blitzo shouted, slamming his fist on the counter.

The waitress simply gave him an annoyed look as she wrote down Blitzo's poor excuse for an order. Then she turned to Y/N who was looking at the menu.

“I’ll take a [Insert tea or coffee you prefer] please,” Y/N politely asked, his response being drastically different then Blitzo’s.

Once they finalize their orders and Y/N pays both of them find a booth table to sit at. Once they both sat down neither of them said a word to each other.

“So why did you invite me here?” Blitzo broke the silence.

“You know I just wanted to spend time with you, I wanna make it up to for ditching you the other day.” Y/N respond referencing to him spending with Veronika last mission.

“Right,” Blitzo scoffed, crossing his arms.

“And just casual banter you know,” Y/N continued with the conversation.

Just as Blitzo was about to say something the waitress came back with their drinks. Y/N said his thanks when he noticed something next to his drink, a small white paper-bag with something written on it.

“Just for you handsome~♥” Marked with a dark red kiss mark.

Inside was a coffee cake from the pastry display.

“Aw sweet free pastry” Y/N exclaimed surprised.

Blitzo simply rolled his eyes as he drank his iced coffee. As he was sulking at the positive attention Y/N gets. He notices Y/N handing him half of the coffee cake. Blitzo took it and thanked him as both of them ate the free coffee cake.

“Ugh how come you get free junk just for being some famous actor… I didn’t get jack shit when I would perform” Blitzo scoffed while drinking his coffee.

“Wait, you used to perform?” Y/N stopped giving his full attention to Blitzo now.

Blitzo, realizing he can’t get out of this, explains “It was more of a family business but I was in the circus a long time ago.”

“Holy Satan, you were a clown circus performer?!” Y/N exclaimed hearing new info about his boss.

“I mean its not like i could have gotten out of it, I was made to be one since I came out of my moms vag” Blitzo explains loudly and almost like he was complaining.

“Psh- I get that, My parents made me a child actor before I could even talk.” Y/N tilted his head explaining his experience with being a child performer.

“At least you were good at it, I was always seen as a screw up.” Blitzo tried to one-up Y/N trauma with his own, in a funny competition kind of way.

“Yeah, but at the cost of my own mental health, there were loads of adult creeps telling me how to look,” Y/N tried to one-up Blitzo himself.

This goes on for a bit trying to one up their trauma like it was that scene from deadpool. They eventually stop laughing at the amount of things they have in common.

“Heh I guess that explains your relationship with Fizzy.” Y/N respond.

“Oh please that sell out can kiss my tight red ass if anything.” Blitzo complained.

“Oh come on he’s not bad… He’s nice to me” Y/N shrugged siding with Fizz.

“Sigh It's getting late, wouldn't want Loonie to miss me, Thanks for the coffee,” Blitzo sighed, checking the time.

“No prob see you at work tomorrow,” Y/N picked up his phone to call a cab.

Eventually both made their separate ways making their way to their respective homes.