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Jason had been to a number of different universes. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d been to more universes than his siblings, which was great because he loved upping them and holding it over their heads. Tim usually rolled his eyes and pretended not to care, which was fine with Jason because if it came to it, he had a bad feeling the Replacement would have beaten him in total chaos caused, and considering he hadn’t even died, come back to life, and changed sides – that they knew of – like he and half of the rest of the family had, Jason was pretty terrified of the reality.
But that wasn’t the point.
The point was that Jason had been to a lot of universes, so it wasn’t a huge problem when he realized he was in another one, mostly because someone pointed at him and asked him if he was cosplaying, and then someone else asked him if he was cosplaying as Red Hood.
Of course, at that point, he had just thought they mistook him, but he’d growled at them and they’d been so impressed and still hadn’t recognized him that he’d gotten a feeling.
He’d taken off the helmet (gotten an “Oh man , white dye? You’re really in character, bro.” and then startled because he hadn’t realized he’d been seen by them again – at least they didn’t think he was the real one?), and then walked off to a more secluded area to figure out what was going on.
Googling Red Hood, Batman, or any of the other names had only redirected him to comics and pop culture, which was easy enough to make the conjecture.
He was trapped.
He’d retraced his steps, found absolutely nothing that might hint at how he’d gotten there, had reasoned it had probably been a glitch in reality, and then realized he had to wait for someone back home to find out (since the technology here was so limited because of the lack of alien influences) and come get him once he didn’t show up to whatever next appointment he had. He hoped it wasn’t a criminal underground one because getting that shit under control after they realized he was out of commission for a while was never fun.
In the meantime, he was going to have so much fun finding out what kind of ways people portrayed them over here–
Okay, never mind. Jason was never looking at the comics again. He remembered those shorts, but he didn’t remember them being that tiny.
Gods, he was embarrassed. He made a mental note to erase all reminders of his dark past when he went back home. Of course, he’d have to bribe Tim with every last bit of everything he had if he wanted it all wiped – especially if the indications of the extent of his stalkery were in any shape or form the slightest bit true because if they were, he was going to be a lot more careful walking around his little brother while he pranked him and turned the blame on the demon brat – but he would do it.
He had to.
Roy could not get access to it whatsoever. Ever.
Still, he realized, as he went to the movies and shows next, because the comics were years and years and issues and issues, and wow, he was so never going to finish them (but just to be hilarious, downloaded some to his own phone), that wasn’t even as embarrassing as Dickiebird. Oh, that poor sap.
Of course Jason downloaded everything from the most embarrassing Titans Go! episode to Dick at his edgiest edge lord in the Night (with a capital N) phase in the Titans show, though he didn’t get a chance to see more than one episode because – and he would swear for the rest of his life that this was the greatest thing to ever happen to him – he was accidentally redirected to a youtube channel called “How It Should Have Ended.”
He wasn’t even going to open it! Heck, he didn’t even know most of the movies – oddly enough, every movie back home was slightly different, which would be awesome if he was here for movie night, but he wasn’t. Still, it made sense considering part of the movie list was taken up by Batman, Batman again, yet another Batman, and you guessed it, more Batman! Well, maybe some Superman, Aquaman, Green Lantern (hilariously, no one seemed to like those movies), Wonder Woman (she was way cooler in real life), and even more franchises in the TC show side of things, though he was pretty sure Oliver wasn’t as dark as Arrow (at least not as growly), and Barry was much more put together than the one on the show, though, otherwise, that was a pretty good characterization of him – but then he realized that there was a superhero compilation, and two of the most common appearances were by Bruce and Clark.
Jason never was one to ignore his curiosities.
He was so glad he wasn’t one to ignore his curiosities.
The first episode he watched was a random “How Batman Begins Should Have Ended.”
“Because I’m Batman!” had him in tears. It continued to have him in tears. It took him three more videos to realize it was HISHE-Bruce’s tagline, and Jason was all for it . And the endless money wallet. And the missile in the utility belt?
Holy shit, Jason really did wonder whether this Batman had his own universe because he was hilarious.
(Okay, maybe it was watching him plow down Joker that really did it. It was incredibly satisfying seeing that monster suffer, even if it was in another universe. Much more cathartic than painless death, too, though maybe that would have been a little more appreciated in the long term. It was fine, though. He’d gotten over it. Especially after he found out, on an unrelated note, that his big brother had killed the joker once, too, partly for Tim and partly for him. Maybe Dick would get a hug without asking for it when he returned.)
And the song? Gold. Absolute Gold. Jason was making it his ringtone. There was no question about that. None.
He smirked. Boy, was Bruce going to get it.
“He– what?” Tim could barely breathe, he was laughing so hard. As usual, it had been his genius little brother who figured out what had happened and came and got him despite specific Bruce orders not to until they got something for the other confirmed. “Why?”
And to think, Jason used to imagine Tim was the obedient one. Hell, Tim probably subverted Bruce's orders more than Jason , and that was saying something.
Jason smirked, turned his voice all growly, and shouted in Tim's face, “Because he's BATMAN!”
Tim collapsed on the floor.
Luckily, they were in a motel room Jason had managed to wrangle and thus weren't completely subject to judgemental stares.
Jason couldn't hold in his own mirth, but he'd had enough days to get used to it, so he didn't collapse.
Tim managed to get up after a few minutes, shoulders still shaking but otherwise under control. “Please tell me you've got it saved.”
“Didn’t have enough space,” Jason said. “But I've got the best ones.”
Tim began to grin and it was manic in the way only Tim could affect. It usually made Jason shudder in consideration of what was to come. But right now, he had a feeling he had the same expression. “Lucky for us,” He said cheerfully. “I always carry an empty hard drive. You never know when you might need to copy important data and wipe it from the servers.”
Never mind, Jason definitely shuddered. Thank whoever was up there for the umpteenth time that this gremlin was on their side.
Still, for a shudder, he recovered fairly quickly. “If you have space,” He said wickedly. “Then boy have I got some things to show you, Replacement.”
The answering gleam in Tim's eyes would have turned Bruce catatonic. The Crime Lord in Jason truly appreciated that enthusiasm.
Omake
Bruce: Why do I have to–
The Wayne Kids: BECAUSE YOU'RE BATMAN!
Bruce: … Clark, we might need to get that cafe. I don't think the kids can visit it. Right? Right? Right?
Clark: What.
HISHE Batman: You can't have our cafe! It's ours!
HISHE Superman: Technically, they're supers and we do host Supers–
HISHE Batman: Never!
HISHE Superman: You hosted a Batman convention–
HISHE Batman: I don't know what you're talking about.
HISHE Superman: Yes, you do. Remember–
HISHE Batman: No! Never happened! Because I'm Batman!
HISHE Superman: I don't know why I expected anything else.
Bruce: … Nevermind about that cafe.
Clark: I don't know. Seems like they're having fun.
