Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bucky was dead tired. The last thing he wanted to do was go to the med bay, but the gaping wound on his hand needed attention. As he entered the room full of wounded, sleeping soldiers, he was suddenly struck by the sheer number of beds. The last attack on the base had taken its toll, along with a few good men. He looked down at his hand, suddenly thankful that he walked away from the fight with what now felt like a scratch. He looked around for a doctor or nurse, but the room was devoid of staff. He sighed as he walked over to a supply closet and began to rummage around for a bandage.

“What are you doing?”

He grabbed the box of white gauze and closed the cabinet. “Grabbing a bandage,” he grumbled. 

“You shouldn’t be doing that.” 

“I’ll be quick,” he said as he began to open the box. He heard a heavy sigh and the sound of clicking heels on the floor. “I didn’t want to disturb anyone, besides you have your hands full already.” 

“That is not for you to decide, Sergeant,” a nurse argued. 

He paused. “Well I’m almost done so–” 

There was a flurry of movement and before he could tie the bandage her hands were on his. “This may need stitches.”

He looked up to see a young nurse unraveling his work. For a moment he was dumbstruck; he’d never seen her at the base before–or anyone that looked like her, really. She was at least a foot shorter than he was, brown hair except for a streak of white near her temples, and brown sun-kissed skin.  

“Are you new?” he finally choked out.

“Yes,” she said as she held up his hand to get a closer look at the wound. 

“Where are you from?”

“Just transferred from the frontlines in France,” she said as she let go of his hand and turned to the supply closet.

“I mean–”

“California,” she said curtly. 

“Oh…”

She sighed. “Let me guess…” She turned to look at him. “You’re an East Coaster.”

“Yes, ma’am. Brooklyn, New York,” he said with a grin. 

She however did not smile back and instead began to lay out the supplies on the nearby table. “Sit.” 

He was taken back by her icy demeanor, but did as he was told. For the first few minutes, he watched in silence as she tended to his wound. “So...where did you–”

“I’m Mexican,” she said curtly.

“–train,” he finished. 

She looked up. “Virginia.” Her cheeks flushed red. She cleaned his wound which made him wince. “Sorry.”

He shrugged. “It’s nothing compared to what those boys have been through.”

She nodded. “So many of them are just that.”

“What?”

“Boys.” She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“Well, I’m sorry for being chatty while you were trying to work.”

“I don’t mind… it’s just that I’ve been asked countless times where I’m from. And I get it, most haven’t been around–”

“West coasters,” he finished for her.

Finally, she smiled. “That should heal in a few weeks, but make sure to keep it clean...Sergeant Barnes.” 

“How did you know?”

“Saw you with Captain Rogers in the Propaganda Reels.” 

“Oh...forgot about those.”

“They are pretty popular back home.”

“Really?” he said with an amused grin. “The boys are going to love that; it might finally get them a date.”

Her smile disappeared. “I’m sure.” 

“I mean, I’m happy to do what I can for the cause.” He let out a small but awkward chuckle. 

She let go of his hand. “Let us know if the wound becomes inflamed or infected.”

“What if I want you to treat me?” he blurted out.

She frowned. “I’m sure the other nurses will be more than happy to help you,” she said in a flat tone.

“What I mean is–” He scurried to get up as she began to walk away. “What’s your name?”

She paused at the door. “Sophia Reynosa.”

“From California...”

Her shoulders dropped. For a moment it seemed like she was going to turn around. However, he was disappointed as he saw her reach for the door handle. “Goodnight, Sergeant Barnes–” she opened the door, “–from Brooklyn.”

_______________________________

A few days went by before he spotted Sophia again. This time, she was meeting wounded soldiers as they entered the base. He watched her for a few minutes as she moved quickly, assessing injuries and shouting orders to other nurses. 

“Hey!”

His attention was suddenly snapped back to the mission briefing by a very annoyed Jim standing before him. “Did you hear a word Cap said?”

“Umm…”

“What are you staring at, Barnes?” Dum Dum asked as he looked over in Sophia’s direction.

“Nothing,” he said as he turned back to the map on the table. 

Steve looked him over and smiled. “Well, now that we’re all paying attention…” He placed a pin on the map and began to explain the details of their next mission.

Once they were dismissed, Bucky began to walk toward the other side of the base where the med bay was located. 

“Where are you going Bucky?” Steve asked.

“Figured I’d get fresh dressings for my wound before we head out,” he said as he sped up his pace; however, Steve caught up quickly. 

“So, it has nothing to do with the nurse you were staring at?” 

“What nurse? I didn’t see a nurse. Just our fellow soldiers–”

“You are such a bad liar, Buck.”

Bucky stopped. “Wouldn’t want to lose my hand, now would I? I mean if I’m down, who is going to keep saving your skin?”

Steve chuckled. “I think the last time it was the other way around.” 

“Well, maybe now it is,” he grinned. “Look, I’m just going to get this thing cleaned up, and then I’ll be right over to help load the truck.”

“Right...tell her you’ll be back in a few days, tops,” Steve said before patting his shoulder and turning back to head towards the tent. 

He stood outside the med bay until he saw the flurry of activity die down. The last thing he wanted to do was get in Sophia’s way. Finally, he saw her walk towards the end of the bay and take a seat beside a young-looking soldier, who also seemed to be from the West Coast. As he approached them, he could hear them talking in another language and whatever she was saying seemed to ease the young man. She finally stopped talking, took the young man’s hand, and closed her eyes. This seemed to make the young man finally lean back in his bed and rest. After a few minutes of silence, she let go and got up. She took a moment to look over her ward and she seemed to try to shake off the sadness that was creeping into her eyes, but to no avail. Finally, she turned around and bumped into a stunned Bucky.

“Sergeant Barnes!” she said in surprise. 

“Sorry ma’am, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said as he took a step back. 

She quickly composed herself. “Is the wound infected?” 

“What?”

“I’m assuming that’s why you’re here.”

“Oh, no it’s not.”

“Are you in pain?” she said in a concerned voice.

“No, I was just wondering if you could help me clean it up.” He put his hand out to reveal a dirty bandage.

“I see…” She quickly walked past him to a nearby storage cabinet. “I thought they taught you first aid in basic training,” she said as she began to tend to his hand. 

“They did, but I just thought this was a little beyond my abilities,” he said in an innocent tone.

Her eyebrow raised a little and a small smile crossed her lips. She could feel his eyes on her as she removed the bandage. “It only seems to be the top layer that is soiled…”

“Did my best to keep it clean but had a tough mission yesterday.”

“I heard, another victory won by the valiant Howling Commandos,” she said with a tinge of amusement.

“For the record, I didn’t choose the name.”

She looked up. “I’m sure it strikes fear into the hearts of our enemies.”

“But seems to amuse you.”

She shrugged. “A little.”

“So what else amuses you?” 

“Besides silly names…” She returned her attention to his hand. “Not sure, there isn’t much amusement here, is there?” There was sadness tinged with her dry tone.

He shifted uncomfortably. He was sure he was winning her over and now he wasn’t sure how to respond. 

“The wound seemed to reopen a bit.” She gently felt the edge of the wound, which made his breath hitch. “The last thing you want is to get an infection; penicillin has been hard to come by right now.”

“Like I said, it was a tough mission.”

“And I’m sure it’d be tough to fight without your left hand.”

“I’m a righty.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “All done.”

He looked over his hand, admiring her work. “So if it gets dirty again, would you mind if I came by to get it changed?”

“Of course, we would never deny care to the wounded.” 

“It’s just that you’ve done such a great job and I thought–”

“You thought you could waste my time flirting?”

“No! I didn’t mean to–”

“Right….” she said as she put down the supplies and began to walk away.

He rushed after her. “I just wanted to see you again.”

“That’s obvious,” she said as she began to open the door.

“I’d like to take you out for dinner.”

She stopped. “Dinner?”

“Yes.”

“But we’re in the middle of nowhere–”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t share a meal.” 

She placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “I shouldn’t…”

He took a step back. “I understand and I’m sorry–.”

“I’m currently assigned to the night shift, but I can do lunch.”

“Lunch is great!”

She smiled. “I’m free Friday.”

“Perfect!”

“Okay…See you then, Brooklyn,” she said before walking out the door. 

Bucky stood frozen to the spot, his head reeling; he was elated, yet at the same time confused. She was unlike any woman he had ever met. He looked down at his watch. He was late for his meeting and he was sure he was going to get an earful from Jim. But that didn’t matter, because for the first time in a long time, he had something to look forward to. 

________________________

“James?” Dr. Raynor waved her hand in front of Bucky’s face.

“Sorry.” Bucky sat up. 

“Where did you go?”

“What?”

“You seemed to have drifted off after the last question. Did you recall something?”

Bucky took a deep breath. “No.”

Raynor sighed and began to jot down notes when Bucky spoke again. 

“Someone…it made me think of someone from before.”

“Before your accident?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me about them.”

Bucky frowned. “Why?”

“I asked you ‘when was the last time you let yourself feel happy?’ and someone from your past came up. I’d say that’s worth exploring.”

“She’s gone,” he shrugged. “So what’s the point?”

Raynor raised an eyebrow. “She?”

Bucky got up. “Are we done here?”

Raynor looked down at her watch. “You still have five minutes left,” she sighed. “But we can stop.”

Bucky began to move towards the door when Raynor spoke again. “Those you’ve lost would want you to move on. She would have wanted–”

“Don’t,” he growled.

Raynor stood up. “I’m sorry.”

Bucky’s mechanical hand curled into a fist. “See you Monday, doc.”

“Have a good week, James.”

———-

Despite the streets of New York being crowded and filled with the sound of cars battling the never ending traffic, he felt alone. He made it all the way to his apartment with a coffee he had little recollection of even buying; his mind had been busy holding back the memory of that fateful meeting. As he set down his keys on the small table beside the door, he looked out onto the emptiness of his apartment, noting there was nothing to indicate who lived in the space. It was not because he didn’t like modern decor or lacked objects from his past life. He had plenty, mostly in the form of scars. It was because he didn’t want to remember that he was truly alone, a man lost in time trying his best to adapt in an environment that was as foreign as Mars. 

He emptied his lukewarm coffee into the sink and tossed the empty cup in the trash. Lord, he just wanted to sleep. As he wrapped the thin blanket around his large frame and sunk into the hardwood floor, the memories attacked. His mind weakened by the exhaustion of having to face a past he desperately wanted to leave behind. He reluctantly closed his eyes; he knew what awaited him: endless regret. 

Familiar darkness overtook him. He took a deep breath as he braced himself for the barrage of all his sins. But instead of death and pain, he found himself staring into the raging eyes of his old friend, Jim. 

------------

“Damn it, Bucky! You are going to get yourself run over!” Jim called after him as he ran past the truck that his rightfully-annoyed friend drove. 

Bucky wasted no time. He wanted to wash away the grime and memories of their last mission. Thanks to some bad intel, he only had less than an hour to shower and find something decent to wear. As the water washed away the last week of hell, he tried to calm his erratic heart. Her deep amber eyes had been all he could think about on those long, cold nights. They were the only thing he had to look forward to; a welcome reprieve in all the chaos of the war. 

“Wow.”

Bucky turned to see Steve standing in the entrance of his tent, lip still bleeding from where the Hydra soldier had landed a punch. “Need something?” He finished buttoning up his green shirt. 

“No,” Steve said as he stepped into the tent, “but I thought you could use this.” He handed him a small, black bottle.

He frowned. “I just showered.”

“Yeah well, it's not everyday that Bucky Barnes gets himself a date.”

Bucky opened the cap. The smell of sandalwood with a hint of leather hit his nostrils, making him almost cough. “It’s lunch.” He tossed the bottle back and finished tucking in his shirt.

Steve caught the bottle. “It’s a date.” 

Bucky took one last look in the mirror and frowned at his messy, overgrown hair. Not much he could do in the next few minutes, so he shrugged, and began to walk towards the tent exit when Steve spritzed him with the cologne.

“What the hell, Steve?!”

“You’ll thank me later,” he said before tucking the small bottle back into his pants pocket and walking off towards the general’s tent. 

Bucky’s breath almost hitched at the sight of Sophia. He leaned against a post and watched as she looked around the busy common area. Her brown hair was down today, flowing over her shoulders as a soft wind caressed her face. The moment her eyes locked with his, a faint smile ghosted over her lips. He did his best to walk casually, but the urge to rush over to her made his gait increase as he neared her table. “You’re late,” she said as he took his seat across from her.

“Got held up, sorry.”

She pushed a plate towards him. “I grabbed you a plate. Meat is the first thing to run out.”

He looked down at the plate of meat and what was once a vegetable. “Thanks.” He picked up his fork and poked the brown meat but kept his eyes on her. She looked down at her plate and began to eat, doing her best to ignore his piercing gaze. 

“It’s going to get cold,” she commented when she noticed he wasn't eating. 

“Oh, right.” He cut off a piece and absentmindedly placed it in his mouth, almost missing it entirely. “Shit.” He looked down at the brown sauce that was sinking into his only good shirt.

She giggled and reached over, wiping his shirt with a napkin before turning her attention to his face. It took every fiber of his being not to close his eyes when her fingers grazed his skin. “Thanks,” he stammered. 

“No wonder you got your bandage dirty,” she teased as she set down the napkin. 

He smiled. “My mother did raise me with better manners, ma’am, I’m just out of practice.” 

“Really? I figured a Howling Commando would have plenty of opportunities to charm young ladies.”

He picked up his drink and took a quick sip. “I’d rather reserve my charm for an intriguing woman.” 

Sophia almost choked on her drink, spilling a drop of juice on her crisp white nurse’s uniform. “Well, we make a fine pair.” 

Bucky quickly offered his handkerchief, letting her clean herself up, despite the urge to run his finger across her soft pink lips. “I’m not going to disagree with you, ma’am.”

“Sophia, please.”

“It’s bad manners to call a lady by her first name, at least not until we’re familiar.”

She tried to hand back his handkerchief, which he refused. “Didn’t know they raised such gentlemen on the East Coast.” She tucked the white cloth into her pocket. “You’re full of surprises, Brooklyn.” 

He smiled. “Good surprises, I hope.”

She looked him over. “We’ll see.”

The hour passed by in the blink of an eye as they discussed everything and anything. The more she told him about herself, the more entranced he became. And she seemed just as hungry to learn more about him as well, asking him questions that almost cut to the bone. The bell rang somewhere, announcing the start of the next shift, but he didn’t move until someone called his name. After saying a quick goodbye he hesitated, debating if he should walk away without potentially ruining such a resplendent lunch. 

Sophia gave him an awkward smile as the silence stretched on between them. “Well I should get back–” 

“Can I see you again?” he blurted out before she could finish her sentence. 

Sophia smiled–truly smiled–for what seemed the first time since he met her. “I’d like that.”

Bucky let out a sigh of relief. “Some of us are going into town tomorrow.”

Her face fell. “I’m on call.”

“Oh,”

“But Maeve owes me a favor.”

He walked over to her, close enough for her to drown in sandalwood and leather. “Then it's a date.” He took her hand and gave it a kiss. Her eyes went wide as he looked up at them, and for a moment the world went silent; the only sound was her soft, rapid breathing. He leaned in, feeling bold…

“BUCKY!”

He jerked awake, his mechanical arm up and at the ready as his mind reeled to take in his surroundings. 

“OPEN THE DOOR!” It was Sam. 

“What?” He didn’t bother to hide his irritation as he opened the door. 

“Were you asleep?” Sam asked as he walked into the dark apartment. “It’s only two.”

Bucky rubbed his face. “Is there a reason you’re here?”

“I thought we were meeting for lunch.” He looked Bucky over. “I got worried when you didn’t pick up.”

Bucky turned to his phone on the kitchen counter, he must have forgotten to turn off the Do Not Disturb function. “Shit, sorry.”

“Are you alright?”

“It’s Monday,” he replied flatly.

Sam needed no further explanation. “Doc was rough on you again?”

“No.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Just brought up–” He stopped himself; he couldn’t bring himself to say her name. If he spoke it, it would crystallize the fact she was gone. “Some stuff.”

Sam sighed. “I’m sorry-”

Bucky waved him off. “Don’t.”

“Fine, then let's go get some food. I’m starving!”

Bucky groaned. “Go without me.” 

“You owe me; I sat in that sushi place for an hour. Waitress must have thought I got stood up.”

Bucky finally grinned. “Who would stand up Captain America?” 

“You, apparently.” 

Bucky grabbed his jacket, “Fine, lets get some grub.”

“You’re paying,” Sam called after him as they left the apartment.

Chapter Text

“Sergeant!” An ancient hand waved in front of Bucky’s face, bringing him out of his daydream.

“Sorry, Merv.” Bucky looked up to see the old man glaring at him.

“I’m one more number away from winning, Sarge, so spin that damn thing!”

Bucky smiled and turned the bingo cage. He called out the last number, which unfortunately was not Merv’s, but instead Harvey’s, Merv’s roommate/nemesis. 

“Damn it, Sarge! You’ve cost me dessert for a week.” Merv slapped down his bingo card on the table and grabbed his cane, storming off as fast as his busted leg would let him. 

“I want chocolate this time!” Harvey called after his fuming rival. 

“Really, Harvey?” Bucky asked as he placed the white bingo balls back into the bingo cage. “You know how much Merv loves his pudding.”

“Eh, he can stand to lose a few pounds. Besides, he owes me for saving his skin.”

“That was almost eighty years ago.”

Harvey shrugged. “Some debts can never be repaid.” He got up, shaking as he tried to get his bearings. Bucky rushed to Harvey and helped him over to his walker. “But, he can try by letting me have his desserts.”

Bucky shook his head. “You’re going to make him regret it.”

“What? Takin’ that bullet for him?”

“No, playing bingo with your old hide.”

Harvey let out a rough bark of a laugh. “Maybe, but it is fun to make him mad. Better than watching him sulk.” He gripped the handles of his walker and began to shuffle forward. 

“Did something happen?” Bucky asked as he placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder. 

Harvey’s face fell. “Another member of our unit passed.”

“I’m sorry.”

“We’re pushing one hundred, Sarge.” He turned to Bucky. “Although some of us have aged better than others.” 

Bucky did his best to bite back his frown. “Not by choice, Harvey.”

“Sergeant Barnes!”

Bucky turned to see David, the VA volunteer coordinator, rush towards him. “I’m glad I caught you!” He leaned down to suck in large gulps of air.

“You better go over and see what he wants before he passes out,” Harvey warned. 

“Right.” Bucky gently patted Harvey on the back and walked over to the still-gasping young man. “What can I do for you, David?”

David stood up. “Mrs. Collins called out sick, so she won’t be able to–” he took another deep breath, “–be able to attend the field trip to the museum this weekend. Would you mind going?”

Bucky frowned. “Mrs. Collins is a professor of history and a much better tour guide.”

“True, but I’m sure our patients wouldn’t mind hearing about the war from someone who–” David shut his mouth when he saw Bucky flinch. “What I mean is, I’m sure they’ll enjoy having their friend come along.” 

Bucky mentally checked his calendar, looking for anything he could use to back out, but as usual, it was empty. He sighed. He knew he could lie, but that felt wrong considering he would be lying to a group of his fellow soldiers. “Sure, I can do it.” 

“Great! I’ll email you the details.”

“Best if you print them out for me, kid.”

“Right. Thanks again, Sergeant Barnes.”

Two days later he was chaperoning a small group of veterans, silently leading them through the new World War II exhibit. He had avoided the museum as much as possible, even declining an invitation to the museum's opening of the Howling Commandos exhibit. The past was in the past, as far as he was concerned. No point in reminiscing when everyone he loved was gone. Including…

“My goodness, Captain Rogers was a giant,” Merv exclaimed. “Was he really that tall, Sarge?”

Bucky did his best to force a smile. “Not always.”

Merv turned back to the lifesize display of Steve Rogers and began to read outloud the information on the plaque, which was grating to Bucky’s ears. He quietly moved away, doing his best not to listen as Merv’s raspy voice summarized the complicated life of his best friend. 

“Only a paragraph. I sent them my damn dissertation!”

Bucky froze at the sound of the irritated woman’s voice; it sounded hauntingly familiar, and he wondered if his PTSD was being triggered by displays of his past life. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It’s 2025; I’m in Brooklyn, New York; the war is over; Steve is gone, but I’m still here. His mantra kept playing over and over again in his head until he felt his heart rate begin to lower.

“They didn’t even mention the women who helped with the war effort, for fuck’s sake!”

His eyes shot open and he slowly turned to see the source of the siren song. A woman was crouched down looking over a plaque, her long brown hair obscuring the side of her face. 

“Keep your voice down, Inez!” a young man in a docent vest whispered as he walked over to the woman. “There are patrons present.” 

“Well, they aren’t getting their money’s worth.” She stood up and placed her hands on her hips.

“Admission is free,” the docent said flatly. 

“This is not what I approved.” She pointed to the plaque.

“Dr. Miller had the final say.”

“But I was in charge of this exhibit.” She finally turned to the docent. “He promised me a full display, too, George!”

Bucky felt his heart drop through the floor as he took in the sight before him. Inez had long brown hair, deep sun kissed skin, and wore a blue sundress that perfectly hugged every gorgeous curve. Her eyes blazed with fury as she argued with poor George. Amber fury, he used to call it. He had been on the receiving end of that fury before a few times when he nettled her. He felt his mouth slowly turn up into a grin as she began to argue in Spanish, and for a moment he was back in that camp watching Sophia tell off some boneheaded soldier who dared get in her way. 

“There is a group of veterans here, Inez! With Sergeant James Barnes,” George urgently whispered.

“Who?”

“You know, the Winter Soldier,” he whispered. 

Inez’s eyes went wide and she looked around until she finally locked eyes with Bucky. “Sergeant Barnes! My apologies, I didn’t know you’d be joining us today.” She took a step towards him, which prompted him to take a step back. 

He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead his heart seemed to jump into his throat and began to choke the air out of his lungs. A flash of concern crossed Inez’s lovely face as she took another step towards him. 

This wasn’t happening; she wasn’t here and he wasn’t making a fool of himself. He turned around before she could take another step closer, and rushed towards the nearest door. 

“My god, Inez. You just managed to insult the freakin’ Winter Soldier!” George huffed as he walked away.

Inez stood frozen in her spot as she watched Bucky disappear into the bustling New York streets. 

Bucky didn’t stop until he was across the parkway.  He collapsed onto an empty bench and tried to take large gulps of air. Hand shaking, he reached for his phone and quickly dialed. “Sam.” He tried to choke down more air but his throat resisted.

“Bucky…what’s wrong?”

“I need–” he couldn’t say it, even as the world began to spin.

“Where are you?” 

He closed his eyes. “The parkway across from the museum.” 

“Which one?”

Bucky tried to speak but nausea was now clawing at his throat.

“It’s alright, I have your location. Just stay there.” 

-------------

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked as he led Bucky into his apartment and sat him down on the only chair in the whole damn room.

Bucky stared blankly ahead. He had been silent since Sam picked him up. The irrational part of his brain argued that if he spoke what he was thinking out loud, he would be branded insane and sent back into that god-awful chamber. 

“Bucky?” Sam walked back into the living room holding a glass of water. When Bucky didn’t take the glass, Sam set it down and pulled out his phone. “I’m calling Dr. Raynor.”

“Don’t!” Bucky finally looked up. 

“What the hell happened?”

Bucky ran his shaking fingers through his hair, but it did nothing to ground him. “The exhibit.” He hung his head. “It was too much, that’s all.”

Sam sighed. “Shit. Why didn’t you tell me, I would have gone with you.”

“It’s been awhile since–” He took a deep breath. “It was a flashback, that's all.” He grabbed the glass of water and downed it. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not; you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Bucky flinched as he set down the glass. He looked at his friend. “Thanks for the ride.”

Sam smiled. “Anytime.” He took out his phone and began to type. “What do you want?”

“What?”

“I’m getting us food and liquor; you look like you could use both. So what do you want? I’ll have it delivered.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know,” he shrugged. “I’m in the mood for Mexican. What about you?”

Bucky grinned slightly. “Sounds good.”

Sam had insisted they finish the bottle of bottom shelf tequila they ordered, so it was close to midnight by the time Sam finally left. Stomach full and mind blissfully numb, he let his large frame plop down onto the floor. He didn’t bother with the blanket; the tequila had left him flushed and warm. He turned over on his back and stared at the ceiling. 

That wasn’t my Sophia, just some woman who looked like her. And sounded like her. He smiled. And argued like her. My Sophia is gone…My Sophia? He huffed at his own hubris. She’d kill me if she heard me call her mine. He sighed, deeply. But damn if I wasn’t hers…

------------

Bucky’s breath hitched at the sight of Sophia standing in the doorway. Her hair was down in long, loose curls, plump lips painted in a devastating shade of red, and her emerald green dress hugged every curve of her body perfectly. She was nothing short of a vision, something divine, and yet here she was, in the middle of a dingy bar and smiling at him. He stood up, taking his hat off before taking her hand and giving it an all-too-brief kiss. “You look amazing,” he said breathlessly.

Blood rushed to Sophia’s cheeks. “Thank you.” She looked him over, smiling. “Not looking too bad yourself, Brooklyn.”

Bucky straightened the lapel of his uniform jacket. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Sophia,” she insisted, again.

He pulled out her chair. “May I get you a drink?”

“Tequila, if they have it.”

“Coming right up.”

It only took a few sips for them to slip back into their conversation from the previous day’s lunch, talking about everything but the war. “You grew up on a ranch?” he asked as he took another small sip of his drink. “So you know how to rope goats, or is it cows that they have on ranches?”

Sophia giggled. “Cows, and yes.”

“Only cows I’ve ever seen were at the county fair.”

“Have you ever ridden a horse?”

“No, ma’am.”

Sophia rolled her eyes, but pressed on. “I have a filly named Dolores.” 

“Door-lore-ess?”

“Dolores, it means pain. Which she is; gave me hell before she let me ride her.” She looked down at her glass. “I hope she’s okay.”

“Why?”

“We’ve never been apart this long and she is fiercely loyal.”

“I’m sure we’ll be home in no time.” 

She gave him a tragic smile. “I hope so.”

Mercifully, the sound of Margaret Whiting’s “Time After Time” began playing on an old radio, breaking  their somber silence. Bucky got up and walked over to her side of the table. “May I have this dance?”

Sophia looked down at his hand, biting her lip as she considered what to do. Bucky’s heart thundered in his ears, panic setting in as she stared at his hand. Finally, after what felt like eternity, she took his hand and stood up. They walked to the center of the bar, where most of the tables had been pushed aside to make room for a makeshift dance floor. 

“We’re the only ones dancing,” Sophia whispered. The bar was relatively empty except for a few couples and weary soldiers. 

Bucky placed his hand around her waist, pulling her in closer. “Does it matter?”

She looked up into his piercing blue eyes. “No,” she said breathlessly.

She danced like a dream, perfectly synced to his every movement as he led her across the dance floor. Feeling bold, he dipped her small frame before pulling her back into him. The moment her body pressed to his, she placed her face against his chest. They continued dancing, their pace slowing as the song reached the chorus. He smiled as he felt her sigh. 

“I love this song,” she whispered.

“I’ve never heard this one.”

“Oh it’s Margaret Whiting's latest single, it was all over the airwaves before I left Virginia.” 

Bucky looked down at Sophia, her warm smile making him forget his homesickness for a brief moment. Somehow, in the midst of war, he’d found a ray of sunshine in the form of the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. The song finally ended, but they didn’t rush to part. They stood frozen as they became lost in each other's eyes.

“May I kiss you?”

Sophia grasped the lapels of his jacket. “Please.”

The feel of her lips was intoxicating. The world melted away. They were no longer in some small town in the middle of Europe, but in an endless field of wildflowers, like the ones at his mother’s childhood home. Home, that’s what she felt like. Everything he missed and craved he found in this kiss, that felt at once too brief and as endless as the war. 

“Bucky, our ride is here.” Dum Dum announced as he walked into the bar. 

They reluctantly pulled apart and stepped back. Bucky ran his fingers through his hair. “I guess we should head back with the rest of the crew.”

“Right.” Sophia walked to their table and gathered her clutch. 

“I’ll just wait outside,” Dum Dum said awkwardly before turning to leave. 

“Can I walk you back to your quarters when we get back to base?” Bucky asked.

Sophia sauntered over to Bucky and linked her arm with his. “I’d like that.” 

“And I hope I’m not being too forward in asking to join you at lunch tomorrow.” 

Sophia giggled. “You’re going to grow tired of me if we keep meeting like this.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, Sophie.” He helped her into the waiting truck and immediately took a seat beside her, not letting go of her hand the entire way back to base.

Chapter Text

“You seem upset,” Dr. Raynor commented, breaking the tense silence. 

“I had a bad week,” Bucky said flatly. 

“Do you want to share what happened?”

“Not really.” He took a deep breath. “I’d like to take a break.”

“From work?”

“No, I love my job at the VA. I meant from therapy.”

“Why is that?” she asked calmly.

“I don’t like digging up the past and poking old wounds.”

“We haven’t discussed your past in weeks.”

“Well, whatever we’re doing here isn’t helping.”

Raynor studied his face. “Did you have an episode?”

Bucky dug his fingernails into the arms of his chair. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You know the terms of your pardon; all it takes is for me to submit one report that you are regressing.”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nothing will get better if you keep repressing–”

“I don't want to talk about her!”

Raynor sat back into her chair. “Her?”

Bucky frowned. “Can we just pause this for a month?”

“A week.”

“Two weeks,” he countered.

“Fine.” She made a few notes on her notepad. “But if anything happens, call me or Sam,” she said sternly.

Bucky held up his hand. “Scouts honor.”

Raynor shook her head. “I understand if you are not ready to speak about the past.” She set down her clipboard. “But we are still doing guided meditation.”

“Fine.” He sunk into his chair and did his best to listen as Raynor tried to lead his mind to a more peaceful place.

-----------------------------

Bucky dove into his work at the VA, staying late and exhausting his mind and body so when he finally went home he would crash onto the floor and pass out in what he always hoped was a dreamless sleep. As the week came to a close, he wondered if he had imagined it all; if he had somehow tricked his brain into believing the woman in the museum was Sophia’s doppelganger. 

It had been decades since he allowed himself to think about her. In the first few months after he had been captured by Hydra, he had held on to her memory like a lifeline. But as the years passed, the memory of her smile began to sting, and eventually cut deep enough to make him stop recalling the precious time they had together. Like everything else he had lost, he found it easier to let it stay buried in the past. 

After setting down a stack of a dozen chairs against the wall, he turned to go back for another stack, catching a glimpse of himself in the window of the VA recreation room. Tired, haunted eyes stared back at him. The young man that had charmed Sophia all those years ago was nowhere to be found. He shook his head and grabbed another stack of chairs, walking them over to the other side of the room. Just as he reached the wall, he heard someone knock softly on the rec room door. 

“It’s open,” he called out. 

“Sergeant Barnes?” Inez asked as she walked into the room. 

He dropped the chairs; the clang of metal meeting the linoleum floor echoing through the room. He stood up straight, rolled his shoulders, and closed his eyes. It’s 2025; I’m in Brooklyn, New York; the war is over; Steve is gone but I’m still here. His mechanical hand clenched into a fist, prompting a small gasp from his unexpected guest.

Inez stared at the stoic man with his back to her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

It’s 2025; I’m in Brooklyn, New York; the war is over; Steve is gone but I’m still here. The mantra in his head grew louder, trying desperately to drown out the panic that was building in the pit of his stomach.

“I can see you’re busy, I’m sorry. I should go.”

His eyes shot open and he turned around to see Inez reaching for the doorknob. “I’m not busy–” the words flew out of his mouth. 

Inez took a step back from the door and turned to look at him. “Mrs. Collins mentioned you’d be here and I wanted to–” She took a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize for my behavior last week.”

Bucky blinked. “Apologize?”

Inez took a few tentative steps forward. “I was upset, but I shouldn’t have used foul language, especially when veterans such as yourself were present.”

Bucky stared at Inez, disbelief and confusion competing to gain control of his frazzled brain. “I, um–” An involuntary chuckle escaped him. She was real. He hadn’t imagined Sophia’s doppelgänger. And she was apologizing to him! 

Inez’s eyebrow shot up. “Sergeant Barnes?”

He shook his head. “You didn't insult me.”

Inez smiled, which made his breath hitch. “Oh, good.” She took a relieved sigh. “I’m Dr. Inez Garcia.” She held her hand out.

Bucky looked down at her hand. He could ignore it–confirm the rumors of his foul disposition and send her on her way, and she would remain a haunting vision. It’s not Sophia, just a hereditary coincidence or cruel joke by the powers that be. 

Inez began to drop her hand, again spurring him into action. “James Barnes.” He took her hand and shook it.

“I know,” she smiled. “I mean, who doesn’t know the famous–”

Bucky flinched as he prepared to hear his dreaded nickname. 

“–Howling Commando and Avenger,” Inez said as she pulled her hand away.

“Right.” He stuffed his right hand into his pocket to keep it from shaking. “What made you so mad anyway?” Why am I asking her questions?! Excuse yourself and go, this is too much! 

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Inez shrugged.

“Hmm. So, you like to cuss like a sailor for no reason?” Why am I teasing her?!

Inez grinned, amber eyes igniting with the spark he desperately missed. “Well no, just when dealing with idiots.”

“So, I’m an idiot?” Obviously since your willing to continue this torture!

“God, no!” Her eyes went wide in panic. “It’s my boss–he threw most of my work on the exhibit in the trash.”

“No wonder you were fucking mad,” he joked. He could almost hear Steve now, “Language.” 

Inez giggled. “Well, I spent a year working on the exhibit, so yeah I’m pretty fucking mad.”

His shoulders dropped and his breathing eased, the shock of seeing Sophia’s face again finally subsiding. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s my fault. I should have gotten more eyewitness testimonies,” she sighed. “I put up flyers asking to interview veterans. But I understand their hesitation. I know some would rather leave their pasts behind.”

“The ‘Share and preserve your story’ flyers, those were yours?”

“Yes.”

“It’s hard to get shell shocked soldiers to talk on a good day.”

“I know, but the history we have recorded of the war isn’t complete; our stories are being lost. This is our last chance to have them told and pass them on,” Inez explained passionately, making Bucky smile as her eyes burned with determination. 

“Our stories?” he asked. 

“My exhibition is focused on Latino soldiers and civilians who served in Europe during the war, particularly the 107th Infantry Regiment.”

“That’s my old unit.”

“I know.”

Bucky crossed his arms. “There are not many of us left.”

“I know, but I was hoping to speak with those who might remember their fellow Latino soldiers.”

“I’m sure Merv would be willing to talk to you in exchange for a few boxes of peanut brittle.”

“He was kind enough to only ask for two boxes.” An uncomfortable silence stretched between them. She bit her lip and his heart almost stopped. “Well, I should let you get back to work. It was nice meeting you, Sergeant Barnes.”

White-hot panic hit him–she was leaving and he wasn’t ready to say goodbye. “You’re not going to ask me?” he choked out, since his mouth had gone dry. 

“Ask you what?”

“About the 107th Infantry Regiment.”

Inez’s eyes went wide, “Oh! I'd love to interview you!” She took a step towards him but then stopped herself. “I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Self-doubt, as well as his piercing blue eyes and strikingly handsome face, made her fumble her words.

She’s giving you an out, TAKE IT! Don’t do this, she isn’t– “I don’t mind.” The words left his mouth before his brain had a chance to stop them. 

Inez grabbed her phone from her coat pocket. “Great! I can email you the questions. If there is anything you don’t want to answer, just let me know.”

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t use email.”

“Oh, that’s okay, I’ll just print them. You can review them before we start the interview.” She closed her email app. “Do you have a phone?”

“Yeah.” He removed his phone from his leather jacket pocket. 

Inez rushed over to him, beaming. “Here, I’ll give you my number. Just text me when you want to meet.” She took the phone from his hand, her fingers lightly brushing his, the warmth of her skin penetrating through his leather gloves.

Finally close enough to fully take her in, Bucky was struck by her beauty. Her complexion was a rich golden tan, hair a deep umber that shone in the harsh fluorescent lights and her eyes, deep amber with flecks of gold. Being a foot taller than her he also couldn’t help but notice her ample bust, which was barely contained by her navy scoop neck dress. He swallowed as he found himself tracing every delicious curve of her voluptuous form.

His shameless musing of Inez’s beauty was finally broken by the tiny image she was typing next to her name. He leaned down to get a closer look.. “What is that?” 

She looked up, inhaling sharply as she realized he was now towering over her, breathing in sandalwood and leather. “It’s the cursing emoji.” 

Bucky chuckled. “Is that what they are called?”

She handed him back his phone. “Yes. It’s so you don’t forget the foul-mouthed historian who wants to ask you a thousand questions.” 

He smiled. “I don’t think I could ever forget you.” His voice didn’t have the usual edge of someone who has lived far too long. Instead, it was the same lighthearted tone he’d used all those years ago. 

Inez blushed and let out a nervous chuckle. “Well, I should get going or I’ll miss my train.” She backed away, still holding his gaze and entranced by his smile, and knocked into the stack of chairs. "Shit," she whispered as she quickly turned around before he could see her turn beet red.  “Okay, bye,” she waved as she rushed out the door. 

Once she was out of sight, he walked over to the nearest chair and sat down. He looked down at his phone, running his fingers over her name and the small red angry face. “What the fuck am I doing?”

----------------------

“Earth to Bucky!” Sam waved his hand in front of his distracted friend’s face.

“What?” Bucky kept his gaze firmly set on Inez’s number, his thumb barely hovering over the text icon. 

Sam frowned, “You didn’t hear a damn word I said, did you?” He leaned over the table to look at the object that had Bucky’s full attention. “Did you change therapists?”

“No, why?”

“Then who is Dr. Garcia?”

Bucky quickly tucked his phone back into his jacket pocket and looked up to see a smiling Sam staring back at him. 

“Did Bucky Barnes get a girl's number?” Sam asked.

Bucky got up. “I’ll cover this round,” he said. He grabbed Sam’s half-empty beer glass and walked off towards the bar, weaving his way through the crowd and doing his best to keep his head down. “Excuse me,” he said softly as he wedged between two men. What looked to be a kid–barely old enough to join the army, much less drink–turned his way, flushed face pailing the moment he got a good look at Bucky. The kid backed away quickly, spilling most of his beer. 

“That’s the freakin’ Winter Soldier,” the kid whispered to his buddy.

Bucky sighed and lowered his head just enough to still see the crowd ahead of him. He wasn’t sure why he let Sam convince him to come out tonight. The bar was crowded with college kids watching their basketball team lose again. “Another beer and a shot of whiskey.” He ordered when he reached the bar. 

Ella, his favorite pink-haired bartender, nodded and went to get his order without question. 

“Oh my god, that’s him!” someone whispered behind him.

Bucky tapped the top of the wooden bar top impatiently, staring at the back of Ella’s head, silently willing her to move faster. 

“Dude, take my picture!” Someone said in an urgent whisper. 

Someone bumped into him, making him grip the edge of the bar. He looked up and took a deep breath, doing his best to keep his temper in check. Any sign of aggression–any wrong move–could be seen as a sign of regression. It didn’t matter if he felt like a sideshow attraction. 

“Hey! No pictures, dipshit!” Ella bellowed as she placed Sam’s beer and Bucky’s shot of whiskey on the bar in front of him. “Now either watch the game, or get the fuck out!”

Bucky smiled as he heard murmured ‘sorry’ and footsteps rushing away. “Thanks, Ella.” 

“Sorry about that,” she said as she wiped the bar. “Kids,” she huffed. 

“Have no manners these days.” Bucky shot back his drink.

“Are you alright?” Ella asked as she watched Bucky wipe his mouth. 

“Never better,” he replied flatly. He fished out a few dollar bills from his jacket pocket and placed them on the bar. 

Ella reached under the bar then placed a bottle of whiskey in front of a confused Bucky. “I just ordered a shot–” Bucky began to argue.

“You look like you could use a pick me up.” Ella cleaned her hands off with a white towel. 

Bucky shook his head. “You could just tell me I look like shit and save your good whiskey.”

“It's bottom shelf whiskey, and yes, you do look like shit.” She leaned onto the counter. “Either Sam is driving you nuts again or that phone of yours is still burning a hole in your pocket.”

“Great service as always, Ella.” He grabbed his bottle and Sam’s beer and took off. 

“So, who is she?” Sam asked the moment Bucky sat down. 

Bucky opened his bottle and sat back in his chair. “It’s not what you think.” He took a large swig. “I met her at work. She’s a historian and wants to interview me about the 107th Infantry Regiment.” 

Sam’s smile disappeared. “Is that a good idea?”

Bucky took another drink. “It's just a couple of questions.” 

“I’ve never heard you talk about the war.”

“You’ve never asked.” Bucky set down his half empty bottle. 

“I just assumed you didn't want to.” Sam picked up his glass. “Did you tell Dr. Raynor about this?”

“I don’t have to run everything by her.”

“If you say so.” Sam took a small sip of his beer, planning his next question carefully. “So, when are you meeting with Dr. Garcia?”

Bucky looked down at the table and took a deep breath. “Not sure; I haven’t called her.”

Sam looked his friend over, grinning at the sight of Bucky’s flushed cheeks. “I knew it; she’s cute.”

Bucky looked up, glaring, but said nothing. 

“Hey, I’m just happy you might finally get yourself a date.” Sam took another sip of his beer. “It’s been a few years now, maybe you’ll finally cheer up.”

“You’ve been dateless since I’ve known you and you’re perfectly happy.”

Sam’s smile evaporated. “Hey, I date!” 

“Groupies don’t count.”

“That’s cold, man.” Sam downed the last of his beer.

Sam mercifully dropped the topic for the rest of the night, and they fell into their usual routine of talking about nothing and watching the game. A few hours later–and only slightly buzzed, thanks to his damn superhuman physiology–he crashed onto his chair and turned on the TV. After an hour of pointless television, he finally took out his phone.

James Barnes: Are you free this Friday at noon?

He watched the message go through, then set his phone on the table. It was late; he doubted she’d reply anytime soon. Not even a minute passed before his phone buzzed. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Yes! How about meeting at Ray’s Pizza, the one by the museum? Lunch is on me! 😃

Bucky couldn’t help but smile; that small, red angry face was ridiculous. 

James Barnes: Sure. See you Friday .

This is a bad idea, the logical part of his brain argued, but he didn’t care. He knew she wasn’t Sophia, but maybe she was related to Sophia in some way; a grandniece perhaps. He couldn’t pass up a chance to find out.

Chapter Text

Inez looked over the files in front of her, nervously rearranging them for the tenth time. She finally gave up and stacked them in a neat pile with Bucky’s biography landing on top. The image of a young Sergeant James Barnes stared back at her. He still had the same charming smile as the man she met last week, but his eyes seemed less haunted. Her heart broke as she recalled what Bucky had been through to lose that glimmer in his eyes. 

Bucky walked into “the original” Ray’s Pizza, rolling his eyes at the dusty neon sign. It was busier than he expected for a weekday lunch, but mild weather in the fall always drew crowds. He found Inez already seated close to the door, and for a moment, he was taken aback at how beautiful she looked sitting in the sunlit booth with the sun shining in her hair. 

She was wearing a sage green dress with a delicate white floral pattern that skimmed her curvy figure. Despite it being fall, she looked like spring; soft and warm and welcoming. Coming back to his senses, Bucky moved to stand next to her, looking over her shoulder at what had her attention, and he was somehow surprised to see the younger version of himself looking out at her. 

“Handsome guy. You know him?” 

Startled, Inez jumped slightly and looked up to see Bucky standing beside her table. She blushed, having been caught staring at his picture. “Sergeant Barnes, I’m so glad you could make it.” She gestured for him to take a seat.

“Dr. Garcia,” Bucky said as he sat across from her, giving her a small reserved smile as he did.

“I ordered some breadsticks,” she said hastily as she pushed a basket of golden bread knots towards him. 

“Thanks.” Despite his nerves having killed his appetite, he picked up a garlic knot and took a bite. “So, you looked me up?”

The blush in her cheeks deepened and she tried not to stare at his mouth as he chewed. “Of course, it was part of my research.” She nervously tucked a tendril of wavy brown hair behind her ear. 

“Right,” he said and smiled a little to put her at ease. Seems like we’re both on edge. “So what do you want to know?”

Inez opened her bag and removed her reading glasses and phone. “Are you okay with me recording the interview?”

Bucky shrugged and she unlocked her phone with a few swishes of her thumb and tapped ‘record’. She quickly switched into her academic role and explained the purpose of the interview and went over the type of questions she would be asking. Finally, she asked for his consent to begin, and Bucky found himself sitting up a little taller and straightening his jacket as he spoke a clear “yes”. 

Bucky did his best to answer most of her questions about the few Latino soldiers he remembered. With each detail he provided, Inez grew more and more excited, her eyes shining and her pen racing across her notepad. “I wish I had met you when I was writing my dissertation.”

Bucky smiled. “Is there anything else you’d like to know?”

“God, there’s so much! I could talk to you all day if you’d let me!” She bit her lip. “Could you–” She leaned forward. “You’ve told me so much about the people you served with. Could you tell me about your own experiences during the war?”

Bucky felt the smile begin to slide off his face. “Like you said, there’s so much. It’s a little overwhelming, to be honest.” He gave a short laugh. “How about, top 5 questions?”

Inez pulled her bottom lip between her teeth again and Bucky allowed himself to be distracted by her full, soft mouth as she flipped through her notebook for inspiration. She appreciated that he was willing to humor her, but she knew that he wasn’t about to open up easily, so she aimed for fun.

“OK, ready?” She beamed up at him and her smile took his breath away.

“Shoot.”

“One: What food did you miss most while overseas?”

Bucky silently thanked her. “Strawberry shortcake,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment. “Really, any fresh fruit. Even just apples. The only fruit we had was orange juice, and I drank so. Much. Fucking. Orange juice. I would be happy to never see it again.”

“Noted. Two: What did you do for fun on base?”

Bucky smirked and raised a dark eyebrow. Inez’s eyes widened, her own eyebrows shooting up into her hairline until he said, “Pinochle.”

Suddenly confused, she asked, “Pee-what?”

“Pinochle! It’s a card game. Like bridge.”

“Sounds rowdy.”

“You have no idea.”

“Three: What book did you bring with you, and why was it A Tree Grows in Brooklyn ?” 

Bucky barked out a laugh, loud and startling. “You think you know me, huh?” He relaxed, leaning back in the padded seat and scratching at his scruff, a smile fixed on his face as he remembered. Inez thought he looked remarkably like the photo she had been studying. “I did have a copy of that book, but so did everybody,” he waved the idea away. “I brought The Hobbit .”

“You’re shitting me!” she exclaimed, then slapped her hand over her mouth, “Fuck, sorry.” Her brown eyes crinkled and her shoulders shook as she laughed. She seemed beside herself with joy at her discovery. “That’s perfect. We’re coming back to that later.”

She nabbed the last garlic knot and Bucky simply watched her in fascination. 

“Four: How would you rate your bed-making skills on a scale of one to ten?”

“A solid eight. But I’m better at unmaking them.”  

Inez’s eyes went wide and mouth dropped in mock-horror at the implication, but she couldn’t hold back her smile. “Also noted.”

Jesus, Bucky, what the fuck is wrong with you?

“Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t think how that would sound–”

“Don’t be, that’s totally OK.” she said as her face split with a brilliant grin. Before she completely lost her composure, she rolled her shoulders and cleared her throat. “Last one, ready?” He nodded.“Was Captain America all business or did he play pranks, too?”

Inez watched as the joyful, carefree man in front of her morphed back into the cynical war veteran, and she immediately wished she could take her question back.

“I…I’m sorry, I didn’t realize–”

“No, no. You–” He sighed. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes I forget that he’s gone. He was…a constant in my life.” He smiled as he remembered his best friend with feelings beyond fondness. Beyond grief. “That skinny kid from Brooklyn had more conviction in his pinky finger than anyone I’ve ever met. He was a gentleman, but he was no saint; and he wasn’t immune to being a stupid twenty-something kid.”

Inez smiled, catching the glint of puckish delight in his blue eyes. “Why do I have a feeling he wasn’t the only one?” she quipped. 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Birds of a feather,” he shrugged.

She closed her notebook and set down her pen. “I really can’t thank you enough, you have given me so much to work with.” 

“Glad I could help.”

Inez folded her hands in front of her and took a deep breath, doing her best to summon the courage to ask what felt like an impossible and risky question. “Have you considered recording your story?”

Bucky shifted in his seat. “My story is already out there,”

“As told by those in power and those who-” she stopped herself when she noticed him flinch. “What I mean is, you should be given the chance to take back control of the narrative.”

“Right, I’m sure people are dying to hear more about the Winter Soldier.” He let out a sigh as the words left a sour taste in his mouth. 

Inez leaned in. “Maybe, but I’d love to learn more about James Buchanan Barnes: former POW and war hero.”

Bucky felt a lump form in his throat as he locked eyes with Inez. “Why?” His question escaped him as a soft whisper.  

“Because you’re a good man,” Inez said without thinking. 

I’m not a good man, he wanted to retort, but the words stayed tethered to his tongue. Bucky looked away, unable to stand the look of admiration in her eyes and cleared his throat. He was here for a reason, he reminded himself. He needed to know if there was any possibility that Inez was connected to Sophia. So despite his urge to shut down, he looked up. “Can I ask you something?”

Inez sat back, surprised to have the tables turned on her. “Sure.” 

“What got you so interested in World War II history? Do you know anyone who served in the war?”

“Yes, my paternal grandfather and his brothers joined after Pearl Harbor.”

His heart sank a little. “Where were they stationed?” 

“Asia,” she said decidedly before she nearly took another sip but set her drink down, struck by a thought. “Actually–” she looked up as if searching for the answers on the ceiling, “my grandfather was briefly stationed in France before going to fight in the Philippines.”

Bucky felt more hope slip away from him. “You must be proud,” he said, watching her absentmindedly trace the design of her necklace with a manicured fingertip.

Inez smiled to herself. “I am.” She sat up. “He is one of the reasons I decided to get my PhD in history, while my grandmother’s interest in Aztec mythology led me to a double major in archaeology.”

He nodded, “Impressive. And the other reasons?”

Inez looked down at her notes and bit her lip. Her parents came to mind, making her heart ache in the hollow place that their deaths had left behind. Her obsession with piecing together the story of the people who brought her into this world soon turned into an obsession with her people's history and heritage. Yet she hated the pity others bestowed on her when she shared this about herself. So she fell back on what she told her graduate school admissions panel and looked up.

“Legacy is important to my family. My father’s side can trace their lineage to the Otomi. So much of our history was lost due to colonization, so I enjoy doing what I can to recover our stories and artifacts.”

A frown pulled at the corner of Bucky’s lips but he fought back the urge, especially since Inez’s eyes blazed with passion and he couldn’t bring himself to extinguish it. “They must be proud of you.”

Inez flinched. “I hope so.” Before an uncomfortable silence could settle between them, her phone buzzed to let her know she had a meeting with Dr. Miller in thirty minutes. “Oh! It’s almost two and we never ordered anything to eat,” Inez said, chagrined.

“It’s alright, I’m not that hungry.” Especially after having his hopes dashed. 

“But I promised you lunch–”

“Really, it’s fine.”

Inez frowned. “It’s not.” She placed her hand on Bucky’s right arm. “Could I at least buy you dinner?” Bucky raised an eyebrow which made heat return to Inez’s cheeks and she pulled her hand away. “To thank you, I mean.” Fuck! Did I just ask him out? Does he think I just asked him out?!

“I can’t tonight.”

Inez’s eyes dropped. “Of course.” She smiled, the professional academic once more. “Well, thank you for your time.”

He watched as she began to pack her files into her bag, disappointment evident in the way she avoided looking at him. Let her go, it’s for the best. But even if it was, there was something about her that kept him tethered to his seat. Her presence was soothing to his weary soul and he wasn’t sure if that was entirely due to the familiarity of her face. “But I’m free tomorrow night.”

Inez looked up. “Saturday?”

“Yeah; comes after Friday,” he gave her a small grin.

“Right, ok.” He watched the blush climb up her chest to her cheeks. “What would you like?” she asked.

“Anything, I’m not picky.”

“How about La Cocina at seven? It’s just down the block.”

“Sounds good.”

Inez got up and held out her hand. “Thanks again, Sergeant Barnes.”

“You can call me James.” He gripped her hand.

She looked down at her hand, dwarfed in the warm grip of his large gloved one, and smiled. “See you Saturday, James.” She pulled away and left without another word, in a swish of hair and hips and skirts, leaving a dumbstruck Bucky behind. James . It had been eighty years since he’d heard her say his name. It’s Inez, not Sophia! He shook his head free of the phantom thoughts and left the pizza shop.

—————

It didn’t matter how bone tired he was or how much his body ached, the sight of Sophia’s smile melted away all that troubled him. “Hello, gorgeous.”

Sophia turned to see Bucky standing beside the med bay door. Her face lit up the moment she spotted him. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Eh, I’m not tired.” He was but after not seeing her for almost a week he didn’t mind staying up to wait for her. Their usual lunch dates and strolls around the base had been interrupted by endless meetings and preparations to take down another Hydra base.  

She walked over to him and the moment she was close enough he pulled her into him. “But you’re leaving for your next mission in a few hours,” she protested.

Bucky leaned in, kissing her softly. “I couldn’t miss a chance to spend some time with you before I head off.” He offered her his arm. “Let me walk you back to your place.” 

Sophia hesitated. “Only if you promise me you’ll get some rest after.”

“I will. Scout’s honor.” He said with a grin as he held up three fingers. 

Sophia shook her head, “What am I going to do with you, Brooklyn?” She took his arm. 

He leaned over and kissed her temple. “Anything you want, gorgeous.”

Sophia blushed profusely and turned away, pretending to be interested in the lights beyond the base fence. “I’m not going to ask where you’re going.”

“Since I can’t tell you.”

“Right. So, what should we talk about?”

“Tell me more about California. What’s the first thing you’re doing when you get back?”

Sophia frowned slightly. She did her best to keep her home from her mind; it made the distance bearable. “Get a beer, walk barefoot on the beach, and watch the sunset.”

“Is that something you usually do alone?”

“Most of the time.”

“Trying to make me jealous?”

Sophia chuckled. “I also like to go with my parents.”

Bucky did his best to laugh off his relief, which, by the way Sophia turned to look at him, failed to work. “What about you?” Sophia asked, bumping him in the shoulder.

Bucky thought it over. “I mean, beer on the beach sounds amazing.” He sighed. “After a hearty homemade meal, I’d go dancing.”

“Do you have a particular partner in mind?” Sophia asked in a feigned casual voice.

Bucky stopped and turned. “And if I did?”

Sophia sighed. “I know how this works, James. This is a distraction from what’s going on out there.”

“It’s not like that, Sophie.” He stepped in front of Sophia, who had turned her attention to her white shoes. 

“It’s fine, I’m sure you have some–”

Bucky lifted her chin, “I don’t.”

Relief flooded Sophia’s deep amber eyes. “Neither do I,” she whispered. She pushed herself up on her toes,  wrapping her arms around his neck as she inhaled deeply, her eyes igniting with desire. 

Bucky felt a jolt of heat run down his spine as she pressed her body into him. He ran his hands slowly up her back, grinning as her body shuddered under his touch. He leaned in and kissed her softly, savoring the taste of her lips, doing his best to simply enjoy what he was sure was a good night kiss. 

Sophia moaned as he lightly took her lower lip between his teeth and his hands brushed the curve of her bosom. Bucky pulled away, making Sophia let out a disappointed sigh before he turned his attention to the curvature of her neck. 

“James,” she whispered. She let out a hiss as he reached under her cloak and began to move his hand up her body. “Someone might–” the rest of her words got caught in her throat as he palmed her breast. 

He quickly moved her into the shadows, pressing her against the brick wall of the dormitory, and Sophia let out a startled laugh at his eagerness. He pulled away from her neck, capturing her lips in a fervent kiss. He could feel her squirm underneath him as he pinched her nipple through her dress and bra, and he swallowed her moans as he lightly began to pull. 

“James!” Sophia whined as he roughly kneaded her ass with his left hand. 

Bucky released her lips and leaned into her ear. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you and what I have wanted to do to you all day,” he whispered.

Sophia pushed her body against his as he returned to lavish her neck with his lips. “Tell me,” she said, breathless.

The hair on the back of Bucky's neck stood up, her voice was ragged and dripping with need. “I’d rather show you, gorgeous,” he whispered into her skin. 

“But we’re outside, someone might–” the words died on her tongue the moment Bucky slid his hand under her dress, “catch us,” she finally choked out. 

He flashed her a devilish grin before he led her further into the dark and angled his body to hide her silhouette from anyone who might pass by at this ungodly hour. “Not if you’re quiet.” He slowly traced the inside of her upper thigh with his right hand, making her breath hitch as his calloused fingers reached the seam of her panties. “May I?” The amount of self control he displayed in that moment surprised even him. After weeks of stolen kisses and all too brief lunches, his body had grown to crave her with ravenous hunger that kept him up most nights. But at this moment his needs didn’t matter. He was due to leave in only a few short hours and he couldn’t without knowing what she felt like, even if it was through tortuous touch only.

Sophia sucked in a deep breath, her pink lips parting slightly before she met his molten gaze and nodded. The moment he slipped his finger under the already soaked fabric Sophia threw her head back against the brick wall. Her mouth began to open and before she could let out a strangled moan Bucky silenced her with a searing kiss. Already slick with want, his fingers easily slid into her. With each slow and firm thrust, Sophia writhed beneath him, her breathing growing more ragged as he curled his fingers and felt the walls of her pussy flutter around him. “That’s it,” he bit her lower lip before soothing it over with his tongue. “I know you're close, Sophie.”

Despite his cock begging to be touched and straining against his pants, he kept all his focus on her, relishing the way she tried to match the thrust of his fingers with her hips. Finally, he felt her walls clench around his fingers as she came. Sophia let out a strangled moan that Bucky swallowed as he devoured her lips. She collapsed against the brick wall when she eventually came down from her high. Bucky pulled his hand from under her dress and held her boneless body up. He returned his attention to her neck as she took shallow breaths and recovered from the aftershock of her pleasure. “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered into her skin.

“Pretty sure I look like a mess right now,” 

Bucky shrugged, “Maybe, but still a gorgeous one.”

Sophia opened her mouth to reply when they heard someone shout. They both moved further into the shadows and stood frozen until a small group of soldiers passed them by. “The morning shift is about to start,” Sophia whispered.

Bucky sighed, “You should go inside.”

“What about you?” She looked down at his cock straining through his pants. 

He gave her a tragic smile. “It might take a minute but I’ll be fine.”

Sophia frowned. “I hate to leave you like this.”

He leaned in and kissed her softly. “We can pick up where we left off when I get back.” Another soft caress of her lips and he whispered, “Until then, decide if we should go dancing or for a walk on the beach when we get home.”

Sophia pulled back, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she whispered. The future seemed so uncertain, and she was terrified of making any plans; she was sure the fates would punish her for it. 

Bucky took her face in his hands and kissed her again, putting all the promises he wanted to make into it. As the kiss deepened, he felt her melt into him once more, small moans escaping her whenever he eased back. The war may be stealing time from them but he’d be damned if he’d let it steal his future. “I’ll let you pick. New York or California,” he whispered when he finally pulled away. 

Sophia blinked, finally releasing the tears she had been holding back. She tried to speak but no words came out, instead she turned and rushed into her dormitory, leaving a very confused Bucky behind. The night had been going so well. Did I do something wrong?

----------

Bucky shot up from the floor, heart pounding as every fiber of his being called out for Sophia to stay. His whole body felt tense, wound so tightly his muscles began to protest while his lungs desperately tried to take a full breath. The realization of being back in his small, empty apartment cut through him. What he wouldn’t give to go back and run after her, to hold her. He roughly dragged his fingers through his hair, frustration pushing his blunt nails painfully into his scalp. It had been decades since he allowed himself to indulge in memories of Sophia; so long since he heard her voice or traced the constellations of gold flecks in her eyes. He had to bury her memory to keep from going mad after almost a year of Hydra captivity. They brought him no comfort. Instead they left him drowning in regret and heartache. He steeled his mind the best he could while Hydra tried to break and mold it to their will.

Everyone around him was encouraging him to move forward, and looking back felt like a step in the wrong direction. But it wasn’t that easy. He was a man lost in the wrong decade, the wrong lifetime, the wrong reality even. Everyone he loved was gone, including the only person who had even the faintest idea of what he was going through. Steve had a shot at getting his life back and he took it. Bucky did his best to keep a brave face as he watched Steve get onto that platform, but he was sure his best friend could see the sorrow of losing his last connection to his previous life; to the Bucky Sophia had loved. 

Bucky forced down a lungful of air and pushed back the memory of Steve leaving him behind. He grabbed his phone, groaning when he noticed the time. Sunrise was still hours away. He unlocked his home screen and was about to open YouTube to find pointless videos to pass the time when he noticed he had a message.   

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Just wanted to say thanks again for meeting with me today. I’m really looking forward to tomorrow night! I hope you like tacos 🌵🌮! 

What the hell? He brought the phone closer and sure enough it was a cactus. The tension in his chest eased, finally giving his lungs enough room to breathe easier. The sight of Inez’s text had managed to lift his mood and he suddenly wished it wasn’t the middle of the night. He would have texted her back to ask for clarification on what the icons she sent meant. He was sure she’d have the patience and kindness to explain it to him. He smiled at the memory of Inez’s warmth and understanding, how she respected his boundaries yet wasn’t afraid to push him. It had been a while since anyone saw him as anything other than an asset or a weapon. Steve gave him grace because of the man he was, while Sam helped him accept who he was now. But there was a reason he voluntarily went back to Dr. Raynor. He still needed to accept who they had forced him to be.

She must know, right? Hydra’s secrets were public knowledge now and if she did her research, she would have seen the number of bodies he left in his wake as the Winter Soldier. So why did she want to know more?

“Because you’re a good man.”

The look in her eyes almost cut him in two. Her warm amber eyes were filled with admiration and sincerity that he knew was misplaced. He was sure in time she’d change her mind about him. So why did he agree to dinner? He got his answer–there was little chance Inez was related to Sophia. And even if she was, what would it matter? What did he want from her?

Bucky hung his head, looking down at the hardwood floor. While he was free from Hydra’s clutches, he felt as though his mind still didn't belong to him, not completely. Now it was free to torture him with memories of what he lost. Being around Inez only made it that much harder to keep Sophia’s memories at bay. But if he was honest with himself, Inez was also a welcoming, warm presence that he was drawn to. It had been so long since he felt a connection with someone, and now he was free to act on it. Question was, should he?

Chapter Text

“You have plans tonight?” Sam asked in disbelief.

Bucky took a sip of his steaming black coffee. “Yeah.”

“With who?” 

Bucky stopped walking and turned to his bewildered friend. “María Félix,” he said flatly. 

Sam frowned. “First of all, good choice, but she’s dead. And second of all, who else do you hang out with besides me?”

“Ella.”

“You’re her customer.”

“Bill.”

“He’s your barber and everyone else you know is pushing ninety.”

Bucky resumed walking, “I’ll bring two cases of beer for next week's poker night, okay?”

“I don’t care about the game,” Sam rushed to catch up to him. “I’m sure my buddies won’t mind since you tend to wipe the floor with them.”

“Then why do you care if I miss a game?”

“What I care about is your date.”

Bucky paused at a flower stand, looking over the fall bouquets, none of which seemed vibrant enough for Inez. “It’s a work thing,” he said as he finally picked up a bouquet of yellow dahlias that reminded him of the gold flecks in Inez’s eyes. 

“Are those for work, too?”

“Thought they’d brighten up my place.” He handed the vendor a twenty and waved off the change.

“Bullshit.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and resumed walking. “Let's say these were for someone, why do you care?”

“Because I’m your friend and you haven’t had game since 1943.”

Bucky frowned. “Thanks for the reminder,” he grumbled as he entered the code for his apartment building door. “Dr. Garcia is taking me out to dinner.”

“I knew it!” Sam called after him as Bucky rushed to the elevators.

Bucky hit the up button. “No you didn’t.”

“I saw you after your meeting on Friday; you couldn’t stop smiling.”

Bucky glared at him. “Now, that’s bullshit.”

“Fine, but you were glaring less.”

“It’s not a date.” Bucky said as the elevator finally arrived and they stepped into the tight space. 

“Then why did you buy her flowers?”

“In my day, you never went to a dinner empty-handed.”

“Well, we’re not in the 1940’s, and if you give her flowers she’ll think it’s a date.”

“She’s been around plenty of old timers like me. She knows we’re gentlemen.”

Sam laughed. “You’re an idiot.”

The doors of the elevator finally opened and they both stepped out. “And you’re annoying.” 

Sam waited until Bucky opened the door before he barged into the apartment. “Don’t you have to get ready for poker night?” Bucky asked.

“I do, but it can wait. This is more important.” Sam leaned against the kitchen counter. “What are you wearing?”

Bucky set down the flowers on the counter. “What I’m wearing now.”

Sam sighed as he looked over Bucky’s casual and familiar ensemble of dark jeans, black t-shirt and black leather jacket. “You look like you’re going to a biker gang audition.”

“It’s. Not. A. Date,” Bucky was at his wits end. Sam was lucky he’d grown to like him.

“Yeah, sure. Now go in there and find something nice for the good doctor.”

“You’re putting too much thought into this.”

“Well, someone has to.”

“I don’t want to give her the wrong impression.”

Sam crossed his arms. “If she shows up looking like a knockout, it’s a date.”

Bucky thought back to their lunch and how beautiful Inez had looked. That was normal for a historian to wear to work right? “Shit,” he grumbled and walked off into his bedroom. 

------------------------

Inez couldn't keep her hands still as her Uber turned the corner and La Cocina came into view. Since they had parted yesterday afternoon, she had been counting down the hours and her nerves had only amplified as the Uber drew closer to the restaurant. She did a final check in her compact mirror, quickly reapplied her favorite dusty rose lipstick and took a deep breath as she gave herself one last look over. Becca was right, dusty rose is my color. She made a mental note to thank her colleague if tonight went well. The Uber finally came to a stop and with a final press of her lips and a check to make sure there was nothing on her teeth, she put her things back in her purse, thanked the driver, and stepped out of the black sedan.

She took a deep breath, letting the cool fall air settle her nerves. It’s just a thank you dinner. She adjusted her scarf. With an Avenger. A really handsome Avenger. She looked around. Said Avenger had still not arrived, so Inez quickly ducked into the cozy restaurant and checked in with the host. Feeling a little more settled, she walked back outside, took a seat on the small bench by the door, glancing up and down the street, but found nothing. He’s just a little late, I bet the subway was delayed again. Feeling the nerves start to creep back up, she fluffed her hair, crossed and uncrossed her legs. Checked her purse. Fuck it. She unlocked her phone and opened a game to pass the time. No sooner had it loaded than she heard, 

“Dr. Garcia?”

She bit back a smile at the sound of his voice. Inez turned to see Bucky walking up to the restaurant door with a bouquet of yellow dahlias in hand. But while she was touched by his thoughtfulness, what made her heart jump into her throat was the sight of Bucky in a long black wool coat, black button up dress shirt, and dark jeans. He looked like he just walked out of a magazine or a contemporary romance novel, and for a moment her mind wondered if she was having some kind of fever dream.

“Hi.” Her voice had gone up an octave since she couldn’t seem to take a full breath. “You can call me Inez.” Or anything you want really. Inez quickly stood up and shook her head, driving the thought away. “Our table should be ready soon.”

“These are for you,” he handed her the bouquet of flowers. 

Inez chuckled nervously as she took them. “You didn’t have to.” 

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. “Old habit.”

“Right. Well, thank you,” she said, and stepped toward him to kiss his cheek. However, the restaurant door opening caught Bucky’s attention, making him turn away causing her to give him an awkward side hug, one that he quickly tried to return, but it was too late. The damage was done. Her hand shot to her turquoise necklace and he tugged at his gloves as they attempted to look anywhere but at each other, both of their faces stained deep crimson.

Inez’s phone chimed. Oh, thank god. “Our table is ready,” she said, relief evident in her voice.

They both walked in silence as the host led them to the heated patio. “Your coat, miss,” the host said as they reached their table. 

Bucky watched as Inez unbuttoned her long forest green coat to reveal a whisky-colored velvet long sleeve wrap dress that perfectly accentuated every curve of her body, and damn if he didn’t want a drink right about now. Shit, Sam was right, he thought as he removed his coat and his right glove. The moment the host grabbed the back of Inez’s chair, he came back to his senses, moving lightning fast to take over and helped Inez push in her seat. She looked up at him, eyes wide as the outdoor lights sparkled in them like stars in the night sky. “Thank you,” she smiled.

“You’re welcome.” He quickly took his seat and grabbed his menu, hiding behind it as he tried to collect himself. It had been so long since he had looked forward to having dinner with anyone. Almost 80 years, in fact. Gone was the confident young man who knew how to woo with a charming smile and sharp wit. His nerves were also not helped by the fact that he had Sophia on the edge of his thoughts all day. But Inez was her own person. She deserved his full attention and not to be compared to a woman who had left a permanent mark on his soul all those years ago. 

Inez gleefully watched him from across the table, enjoying his discomposure. She put her napkin on her lap and glanced at her dress once more. Shit, my cleavage looks great in this dress. She glanced back up to Bucky, finding ocean blue eyes looking her over from head to said cleavage, and it was now her turn to be embarrassed. She quickly flipped through the menu to the entree selection at the back.

“I really like their grilled cactus tacos,” Inez commented.

“Cactus?” Bucky looked down his menu until he found the item. “Oh, that’s what you meant in your text. Didn’t know you could eat those.” He set down his menu. “Do they hurt to eat?”

Inez chuckled, “They take off the spines.”

“People eat the darndest things now,” he shook his head. 

“I’ve been eating it since I was a kid.” She took a drink of water, thankful for her smudge proof lipstick. “My abuela used to make it all the time.”

He smiled fondly. “Mine used to make a mean meatloaf. Where is your grandmother from?”

Inez raised an eyebrow. “Zacatecas. Have you had a chance to visit Mexico?”

“A few times.”

“Where was the last place you visited?”

“Uh, Mexico City.” Bucky looked back down at his menu as he tried desperately to keep the memory at bay of what he did to the young and upcoming politician while on assignment as the Winter Soldier. 

Sensing Bucky’s unease, Inez quickly changed the subject. “I’ve been in New York for a year and haven’t even had the chance to go sightseeing.”

“Not even Times Square?”

“Nope. This research project took up most of my time. I’m glad a coworker suggested this place; it helps when I get homesick.” 

“And where is home?” Bucky braced himself, if she said California he wasn’t sure his fragile heart could take it.

“With my abuela, but she sent me to finish high school in the States. Then I decided to get my Ph.D, so I’ve lived in the States for a while.” She cleared her throat and her hand went straight to her turquoise  necklace, sliding the pendant back and forth like she always did when she needed to ground herself. 

He had to know. “Do your parents live here?”

“Oh, no. They, uh…they died when I was young.” She grabbed her glass of water and took a sip, doing her best to keep her frown at bay.

“I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” she sighed. “I was young, I don’t really remember them.” Even though she kept her tone casual, guilt sank like a stone in her stomach. “But I have my abuela, aunts and plenty of cousins, but they’re all back home.”

“When was the last time you went back?”

Inez flinched. “About five years. When you spend so much time away, it can be hard…going back.” She looked up at him. “Does that make sense?” 

“No-yeah! Absolutely.” He gave her a warm, understanding smile, even if it wasn’t the answer he was hoping for. “I understand completely.” And he did, more than most. 

As he looked at the beautiful woman in front of him, he found himself at a crossroads. Inez, this stunning, sweet, intelligent woman, for whatever reason wanted to go out with him. And here he was, trying to find a connection to a woman he knew was gone. Inez didn’t deserve his interrogation.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about not sightseeing, because I’m no better. I’ve been back here as long as you have and I’ve hardly left my neighborhood. Times Square has gotten too loud and bright. At night it's lit up like a Christmas tree.” He shook his head. “At least the ferris wheel is still standing on Coney Island. Almost everything has completely changed,” he lamented. 

It suddenly struck Inez that she was speaking to someone who was from a bygone era. Something that was easy to forget when he looked so young. “I’ve been meaning to go–all my coworkers keep telling me to.” She sighed. “I doubt I’ll have time after I submit my new findings.”

“Do you have to do that right away?”

“I guess I could wait until I hear back from the National Archives. But that can take weeks.”

“Nothing wrong with taking a break.” He leaned forward. “Have you even gotten a decent slice of pizza yet?”

“I’ve had a slice at Ray’s.” 

Bucky shook his head. “Shameful.”

“Hey, George suggested it. He’s from New Jersey.”

Bucky sat back in shock. “Exactly. He probably told you that place was the original Ray’s.”

“It says so on the window.” 

He shook his head. “If I didn’t want to try cactus tacos so badly, I’d take you to get you a real slice of New York pizza right now.” 

Inez did her best not to smile like a fool at the thought of going to grab a slice of pizza again. He could take her to a hot dog cart and she would be happy as long as she got to spend more time with him. Before her hopes or imagination could get the better of her, the waiter finally arrived to take their order. 

“Should we order some tequila?” Bucky asked. 

Inez nodded but before she could recommend anything Bucky turned to the server, “Could we each have a shot of Jose Cuervo and–”

“Absolutely not!” Inez hissed, jutting her arm between Bucky and the server, saying something under her breath that sounded like “nasty shit” and “not even tequila.”. She spoke to the server in Spanish, “Ignore him. We’ll each have a shot of Cazadores añejo, please.” She switched to English, “and I’ll have the cactus tacos.”

The server turned to Bucky, “She has good taste. And for you?”

“Hard to argue with that. I’ll also have the cactus tacos, and a side of chicken mole, and…” Bucky suddenly remembered that Inez would be paying that evening, so decided he had better cut it back. “And that’ll be all.” 

His stomach grumbled in protest. He could always grab something more on the way home, he reminded himself to satiate his large appetite. One of the biggest downsides of the Infinity Formula was his enhanced metabolism which meant: Bucky was. Always. Hungry.

Thankfully, the wait for their drinks was short. Bucky licked the back of his hand and reached for the salt, but once again Inez stopped him, by placing a hand on his arm.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“What do you mean what am I doing? I’m putting salt on the back of my hand.”

“No. No, nope. Put that shit down. Not with this tequila.” She raised her glass and Bucky did the same. “This is añejo. Don’t shoot it. Sip it..”

He raised a dark eyebrow but decided to take her at her word. “So what should we toast to?”

“To sharing memories.” 

“And making new ones.” He added, which made Inez’s eye’s light up like Times Square.

They sipped their tequila in companionable silence.

“So–” Bucky said, relaxed and easy.

“So…” Inez began, speaking over him. They chuckled nervously. “Go ahead.”

He smiled. “So, you already know my favorite book. What’s yours?”

She considered saying something groundbreaking or edgy, but went with the truth. “Jane Eyre.”

Impressive . “A Rochester fan. Nice,” he said.

She smiled. “You’ve read it?” Impressive and sexy, shit I’m in trouble. 

“Of course. Bronte. Austen. Wharton. Walpole. Speaking of characters who live in their heads, have you read Rebecca?”

“No! I remember that movie was released on Netflix…”

He shook his head. “No, no, no. If you’re gonna watch the movie, you need to watch the Hitchcock version. Laurence Olivier, Joan Fontaine? You haven’t seen it?”

“No!”

“Well, where’s your list? Write it down,” he said, a grin splitting his face.

Inez’s heart warmed at the sight of Bucky clearly enjoying himself, he almost looked like that 20-something soldier from her file again. She quickly fished out her phone and opened her notes app. “So, Sergeant Barnes likes gothic novels.”

Bucky spread his hands on the table. “I like stories that keep me on the edge of my seat and have hidden depths.”

Inez regarded him over the rim of her glass. “Does that go for people too?”

Bucky shrugged. “I like the challenge, but I also like it when people are clear with their intentions.”

Inez bit her lip, setting down her phone without looking away from his inquisitive eyes. “Give me a few more of these,” she shook her glass, “And I’ll be an open book.”

Bucky laughed before taking a sip of his tequila. He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled this much. Inez had a sharp wit and humor that made it easy for her to volley his quips and comments back to him. “And what will I find?”

Inez took another sip of her golden elixir, taking a deep breath as tequila burned not only her throat but her inhibitions away. That if you give me the chance I’ll climb you like a- She took a deep breath and rubbed her chest, doing her best to sooth the warm flush that was spreading from her cheeks to her chest from both her drink and the way he looked at her. “I’m not giving up my secrets that easy,”

Bucky bit back a groan, she hadn’t been kidding when she said she had a mouth on her. And fuck, he thought, she’s a knockout. He couldn’t stop himself from letting his eyes wander to her chest as it began to flush from the alcohol. He coughed and clandestinely shifted in his seat to ease the growing pressure. Despite her instructions to savor his drink, he shot back the rest and ordered another, hoping the alcohol would take the edge off some of his thoughts.

“Savor it,” Inez reminded him when his next shot arrived. 

Bucky grinned. “Trying, but this is really good.”

Inez giggled, the sound of which reverberated through him, causing him to shift in his seat again. Mercifully their food finally arrived, giving Bucky something else to focus on. The food the server set down before them smelled amazing. Bucky immediately tucked in, despite his nerves and to keep from visibly drooling. 

Inez watched as Bucky took his first tentative bite of his taco, his eyes going wide as his taste buds were hit with the smoky flavor of the grilled cactus and the tang of the red salsa. Pride blossomed in her chest as Bucky devoured his tacos in a few bites.

“These are amazing,” Bucky moaned. 

Inez almost choked on her food as she felt the blood drain from her face and travel down to her core, which twisted almost painfully as she watched Bucky lick a droplet of salsa off his lips. She forced the bite of food down her throat and looked down at her plate. “Almost as good as my abuela’s,” she said awkwardly.  

“Hard to imagine these getting any better.” Bucky devoured his next tacos in a few bites and they both flagged down the server as he passed by, Bucky ordering another plate of tacos, and Inez needing another round of drinks. Inez didn’t even have a chance to finish her tacos before Bucky had inhaled his second plate.

Inez chuckled as he mopped up the last bit of salsa with a small piece of tortilla. “Looks like you really liked the mole too” she quipped, and he simply grinned at her, glancing at the sparkling clean plate. “You keep eating like that, you won’t have room for dessert,” she warned. 

“I still have plenty of room,” Bucky assured her. Okay, maybe his enhanced metabolism was good for something. 

“Good. I was going to suggest the gelato place around the corner, but I don’t know if you’ll trust any more of George’s suggestions.” 

“He has failed you pretty spectacularly so far,” he said as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “But if you’re in the mood for ice cream, I know a place.”  

As the night wore on, they compared notes on their favorite music, movies, drinks, pets, food. To Inez’s surprise, Bucky had an adventurous palate, despite never eating cactus, and she had a long list of places she needed to try by the time they finished their meals. After Inez paid the bill and bundled up against the fall chill, she and Bucky set off. Inez held her purse close to her chest; she was still nervous walking around at night in her new city. 

“You alright?” Bucky asked. 

“Yeah–well, kind of. I don’t usually go out at night.”

“We’ll be fine. This part of the neighborhood is pretty safe.” He moved a little closer to her, putting himself between her and the street. 

She looked over at his six foot frame and she let her shoulders drop. Her anxiety around walking the streets of Brooklyn at night suddenly seemed pointless. As they rounded a corner, her boot caught in a large crack, causing her to lose her balance and pitch forward. Before she could hit the ground, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her snug against a broad chest. Bucky held her close enough for her to feel his warmth even through his overcoat, and to inhale that intoxicating combination of sandalwood and leather. Fuck, he smells so good. Despite Bucky’s nearness, the ridiculousness of her comical fall hit her and she started laughing loudly.

“Are you alright?” He searched her face for any sign of distress, but all he found were sparkling deep pools of amber. He was no less affected by her nearness, nor her contagious joy. He had one arm around her shapely waist, the other cradling the back of her head as she let out peals of carefree laughter. If it weren’t for his embrace, she was sure she would have floated away, past the bright light of the city and gotten lost in the deep blue sky that could only be rivaled by the color of his eyes. God, he’s pretty, she thought. His straight teeth, dimpled chin, and the shape of his smiling eyes, almost triangle shaped. And his lips, I wonder how soft they were. She couldn’t bring herself to stop staring at him.

Bucky tried to bite back his own laugh, still unsure whether she was hurt. “Inez?” He brought them back up to standing, making her snap out of her tequila and lust induced haze. 

“I’m fine.” She chuckled and reluctantly pulled back , his fingers sliding down her arms, making her shiver for reasons that had nothing to do with the cold fall air. 

Bucky cleared his throat and turned his attention to the small teal and white building at the end of the street. “The shop is just up ahead.”

She stepped away from him and they continued their walk to the ice cream shop in silence, both doing their best to catch their breaths. 

“Sarge!” the man behind the counter shouted as Bucky stepped through the front door. For a moment, Inez thought she had stepped back in time, but the sound of someone’s phone ringing confirmed she was still firmly planted in the present. She looked around at what appeared to be an 1920’s farmacy, complete with a soda counter at its center. 

“How’s it going, Mike?” Bucky asked as he walked over to the counter.

“Not bad. There are still a few crazy enough to brave the cold to get themselves a sundae.” Mike looked over Bucky’s shoulder, catching a glimpse of Inez taking in the room. “Get yourself a date, Sarge?”

Bucky gave him a look that could melt vibranium. “I’ll have the usual.” He turned to Inez. “Inez?”

She turned to see Bucky and Mike waiting for her to order. “Oh, I’ll have what he’s having.”

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked. 

“Why are you getting the kitchen sink special?” Bucky just shook his head at her tease. “I trust your palate.”

Mike looked between them and smiled. “Alright, one large banana split to share , coming right up.”

Bucky shot Mike another warning glare before leading Inez to a small table and helping her with her coat. 

“How old is this place?” She asked once she took her seat.

“Just opened up a few years ago.”

“This looks like it’s straight out of a scene from ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.”

“What's old is new again. I guess.” 

“And did they get it right, the look of an old farmacy, I mean?”

Bucky looked around. “Yeah, it’s not bad.”

Their order soon arrived, with Mike giving Bucky a nudge before placing two spoons into the large scoops of vanilla ice cream. 

“A fruit sundae.” She lifted the boat and inspected the bottom and the sides. “No oranges,” she winked.

“You catch on fast.”

Bucky watched as Inez brought the spoon to her mouth. She savored each bite as though it were the last, humming as she licked the back of the spoon clean.

"This is fucking amazing," she said, bringing another delicate bite to her full lips.

Bucky had trouble maintaining his composure and had to place his arm on the seat of the booth to keep from gripping the edge of the table. It wouldn't be a good impression for him to destroy private property. 

He ate mostly in silence while her groans of pleasure punctuated the air. Bucky used every meditation and mantra he could think of to keep his eyes off her mouth and his mind on gentlemanly thoughts. After only eating a few large bites himself, he set down his spoon and left the rest for Inez to finish, content to watch her enjoy herself. God, if she sounds like this eating ice cream, what must she sound like when she - stop it! Shit, she was distracting. He found himself looking forward to the end of the evening. He wanted to know what that ice cream tasted like from her lips. Steve would have a field day with this, he thought, and the memory of his absent friend abruptly threw cold water on his libido.

What am I doing? This is insanity. Bucky was fully aware of what Steve might think. He would want to know why Bucky was entertaining the idea of starting something with Sophia’s doppelganger. He was having such a good time, he had nearly forgotten the reason he wanted to see Inez in the first place. Disappointment washed over him, chilling the heated blood that had been searing its way through his veins. This woman wasn’t Sophia and clearly had nothing to do with her, if her answers to his invasive questions were true; and he had no reason to doubt they were. The two of them had nearly opposite personalities. Inez was so full of life and carefree. And while Sophia had been passionate, she was stoic and practical. She wouldn’t have identified with a daydreamer like Jane Eyre; Sophia had lived in the present and didn’t like to entertain dreams that distracted her from what she was doing. He had of course noticed Inez’s eagerness, but he had thought it endearing and flattering. I need to stop this, he decided. He couldn’t pull this vibrant woman down with him into his shit. She didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve her. He had to nip this in the bud.

When she was finished, Inez sat back in the seat and heaved a completely satisfied sigh. "Well done."

Bucky nearly choked. "What--"

"Your recommendation was spot on."

Bucky simply nodded, getting up before he did something stupid, like wiping the small fleck of chocolate off her lips with his fingers, or better yet with his lips. He paid and waited for Inez to join him. She followed him out of the shop, hands wringing the stems of her flowers, sad that it was time to say goodbye and nervous of what would happen next. 

“Thanks for dinner.” He kept his gaze firmly on the ground. 

Something dropped into the pit of Inez’s stomach, the warmth in his voice was gone. What the fuck? The night had been going so well. Did I do something wrong? “Thanks for the ice cream and for the list of recommendations.”

“No problem.” 

She held her breath, hoping he'd say something, anything to make their time together last a bit longer, but he remained silent. Taking the hint, she grabbed her phone out of her purse and ordered an uber. “Thanks again for your help, Sergeant Barnes. If there is anything else you’d like to share with the museum, you can reach out to our front office.” Her voice was flat, professional. When he didn’t look up to acknowledge her, she turned and left, sparing herself any further embarrassment. She looked down at her phone and was thankful she had found a ride only a block away; she wasn’t sure how much longer she could stand the silence that had settled between them.

Bucky looked up just in time to see her opening the door to the parked black sedan. Let her go, it’s for the best. It’s for the best, it’s for the–fuck it!  He took off after her, catching her before she got into the car. “I still owe you a slice.”

“It’s fine, Sergeant Barnes.” She turned back to the car but before she could take a step, he placed his right hand on her arm making her freeze.

“I would really like to see you again.”

Inez’s heart seemed to leap from her stomach to her throat. “Why?”

“You need a proper tour guide, not someone from Jersey. And you can pick my brain while I show you around.”

She didn’t know if she should have felt relieved or disappointed. She wanted to see him again, but not as a research subject or a tour guide. Then again, he was old fashioned. Maybe men of his generation were guarded with their intentions. “Okay, sounds like a fair trade. I’m free next weekend.”

“Great–I’ll text you.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep himself from reaching out for her to give her a proper send off. If his lame excuse to keep seeing her wasn’t confusing enough, a kiss on the hand or cheek was sure to leave them both reeling. 

The uber driver honked, prompting Inez to rush to get into the backseat. She gave Bucky a small wave before closing the door, and he stood planted to his spot until her ride disappeared into traffic. His phone suddenly buzzed, and without looking he answered.

“So, was it a date?” Sam asked.

Bucky hung up, unwilling to give Sam the satisfaction of being right.

------------------------

Inez walked into her small studio apartment, threw her keys onto the small table beside the door, and kicked off her high-heeled boots. She felt exhausted, both emotionally and physically. Her body was finally coming down from the adrenaline of going to dinner with someone she was clearly attracted to, and her heart was still reeling from the whiplash of Bucky’s mood swings. She leaned against the door and looked up, You’re reading too much into this. He’s being nice and taking pity on a transplant. She closed her eyes. Maybe he knows how hard it is to start over in a place that feels so foreign. Guilt ripped through her as she realized she was comparing her self-imposed exile to the east coast to a man who had his life stolen. 

The sound of the craft paper being crushed in her hands echoed in the small studio apartment. Stop it! He’s a great resource. He can help you get the information and attention you need for your work. She opened her eyes and looked down at the bouquet still in her hand; these poor flowers didn’t deserve her ire. She pushed her tired body off the door and walked into her small kitchenette. She rummaged around the cabinets until she found a pitcher tall enough to accommodate the beautiful sunny yellow dahlias. Once the flowers were arranged beautifully in their new home, she set off to change and drown the day's thoughts with an hour of mindless streaming.

She did her best to focus on the unfolding love story playing on her laptop while she sat up in her bed, but the dahlias kept pulling her attention from the eldest Bridgerton attempting to keep his wits around the alluring Kate Sharma. They mean nothing. He is just old-fashioned. Other veterans have given you small tokens of appreciation over the years, this was no different. She turned back to her laptop and did her best to drive away the thought of flowers, the way he looked under the fairy lights as they talked about anything and everything, or the way he looked at her with his piercing ocean-blue eyes. There were times during their dinner when he would look at her as if she were the only person in the room–in the damn world even. And for a brief moment she believed it, until he suddenly looked away and retreated into himself. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, almost pulling it as she tried to sooth the frustration of not being able to drive away the feeling of his arms, or how his heartbeat accelerated when she pressed her hand into his broad chest. She could have stayed in that haven and drowned in sandalwood and leather if he let her. Get a grip, Inez! You can’t fuck this up again! She shook her head, hoping it would send Bucky to the recesses of her mind and turned back to her show just in time to see Anthony begin to worship Kate with his mouth. She closed the laptop and threw it on the nightstand. She settled down into her bed, pulling the covers up to her neck and willed her agitated mind to go to sleep. She woke up the next day exhausted from staying up almost till dawn.

------------------------

Monday morning came and she couldn’t wait to get to work. The sun had just peeked over the horizon by the time she left her apartment, finding it easier than usual to begin her day. A double shot latte in hand and a generous amount of concealer applied to under eyes and she was ready to tackle the mountain of information Bucky had given her. Excitement started to build in her chest as the museum came into view. If she was lucky, she'd be the first one in and would be given a few hours to do her work in peace. 

The shrill sound of her ringtone suddenly pierced the morning air, making her stop just a block away from the museum. She looked down at the name flashing on the screen and sighed, then looked up at the museum longingly, she was SO CLOSE to her refuge. “You should be asleep,” she said flatly and she walked over to a nearby bench and sat down. 

“And you should be here.”

Inez sighed, “I’m not doing this when you’re sleep deprived, Luce. Go to bed.”

“The tias went to visit abuela yesterday. They want her to convince you to come back.” Her cousin didn’t bother to hide her irritation.

“That’s a new low.”

“I know. So you should come back to spare her the embarrassment of begging you to come home.”

“That isn’t my home anymore.”

“But it’s where you belong.”

“Luce–” She set down her coffee, afraid of spilling it since her hand was now shaking. “Can we not do this? Again?”

“Look, you had your fun, you got to spread your wings for a bit, but you’re needed at home.”

“I got my PhD in Latin American History and Archaeology! That wasn’t for fun, I’m trying to do something with my life that matters!” 

“Oh, I see. So what we do doesn't matter as much as retelling old folktales and sharing war stories.”

Inez closed her eyes. “That’s not what I mean and you know that. I don’t know why the tias are so hellbent on me coming back. They have you! You are much better at–”

“Only because I worked my ass off. But I guess I’ll never live up to you.”

“Then forget about me! Go back to pretending I don’t exist, okay?” Tears streamed down her face, stinging as the crisp fall air dried them. 

“What about abuela? It will kill her if you shut us out again.”

Inez looked up to see George opening the Museum doors. “I have to go, Luce,” she said as she wiped her tears and took a deep breath.

“You don’t belong there, Inez. You may have lost your accent and have a title before your name, but they’ll never let you forget where you come from.” Luce hung up before she could hear the consequences of her cutting words. 

------------------------

“Well?”

Luce turned to see her mother at her bedroom door. “I tried,” she shook her head. “I’m pretty sure she’s going to block me, too.”

“Your abuela should have never let her go to the States.”

“She is stubborn; she would have found a way with or without our help.”

“The last time we let her indulge one of her whims she almost–” Alma took a deep breath. “Maybe your abuela can talk some sense into her.”

Luce got up and grabbed her robe. “Would it be so bad if she didn't come back? Aren’t we enough?”

Alma huffed. “Get dressed, we leave for your abuela’s in an hour.”

Luce sighed. “Yes, mama.”

------------------------

“How was your date?”

Inez looked up to see Dr. Miller’s intern Becca giving her a blinding smile as she rapped her perfectly manicured nails on her desk. “It wasn’t a date, I just took a source out for dinner.” She did her best to smile, but she was sure her eyes were still red from crying. 

Becca looked Inez over, concern flashing in her brown eyes when she met Inez’s gaze. “Did he stand you up?” She leaned forward. “Did the bastard do something?!” she asked in an urgent whisper. 

“Allergies.” Inez took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”

Becca frowned. “Ok,” she leaned back. “Then how did it go? Did you wear that sexy wrap dress you showed me?”

“It was nice, and yes I wore the wrap dress.”

“And?”

“What?”

“Did he ask you out on a second date?”

“It wasn’t a date, remember?”

Becca rolled her eyes. “Okay sure, but are you going to see him again?”

“He did offer to be my tour guide.”

“Eh, that's just an excuse.”

Inez shrugged. “He’s just being nice.”

“Right. So, who is this guy anyway? Have you looked at his socials yet? Oh! Is it that cute visiting professor from Princeton?”

“Dr. Anderson? I’m not into blondes.” At least not anymore. “And no, he’s not online.”

“Okay, that is a definite red flag, or he’s old,” Becca leaned forward, “It’s not Dr. McElroy from the Smithsonian, is it? He’s old enough to be your dad!”

“You haven’t met him, okay?” She turned back to her computer and pulled up the audio recording of Bucky’s interview.

“Well whoever he is, it seems he finally got you out of your shell.”

Inez frowned. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

Becca shrugged. “Eh, Dr. Miller is at a meeting.”

Inez grabbed a folder and held it out to Becca. “Then can you submit these requests to the National Archives for me?”

Becca swiped the folder from Inez’s hand. “Fine, but don’t think you’re getting out of telling me more about this guy.”

Inez shook her head and returned her attention to her computer. She put on her headphones and hit play on Bucky’s interview. She hadn’t noticed when she recorded him–since her focus was on taking copious notes–that he spoke warmly about the men who served with him. Her pen suddenly stopped at the sound of his laugh as he told her about his old unit and how they would break the monotony of missions with pranks. She placed her hand under her chin and let the file play, indulging in the sound of his voice. 

It was hard to reconcile what she had read about him and the man on the tape. There was no sign of a mindless killer, or cruelty. While many still feared the former Hydra assassin, she couldn’t help but feel pity for all the hell he had been through. Not that she would ever admit it to him–he seemed like a proud and stoic man, like many of his generation. My god, he is over one hundred! And while his body didn’t look over the age of forty, his soul carried the weight of time and pain. An old soul if there ever was one. 

“So many were just kids, wide-eyed and scared. We asked so much from them and they never hesitated,” Bucky explained. “They willingly walked into hell to fight Hydra.” Inez hit pause on the recording and sat back, the pain in Bucky’s voice was obvious. Even now, with everything he had been through, he still carried survivor’s guilt. While she had never experienced the horrors of war, she did understand the pain of surviving. She took a deep breath and hit play. 

------------------------

Bucky watched as their gear was loaded into the truck. He did his best to concentrate on the seemingly impossible mission of taking down more Hydra bases. Many of his fellow soldiers had told Steve it was a suicide mission to take a small team with no backup. Bucky had to admit, when Steve laid out the plan, it sounded pretty insane. Yet he knew if anyone had the chance of getting it done, it was the skinny kid from Brooklyn. He had never met someone with as much faith as Steve. Even if that faith tended to blind him to the harsh realities of the war. 

“We roll out in ten!” Jim warned their ragtag group. Everyone around seemed to buzz with anticipation. A part of him envied them; he could use the distraction from the image of Sophia running away from him replaying in his tortured mind. What the hell went wrong? The question buzzed around in his head, distracting him.

“Are you alright?” Steve put a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, just anxious to get going.” 

Steve frowned. “How is it you always beat me at poker?”

“You have a terrible poker face.”

Steve was about to argue back when Peggy walked by, catching his eye, both doing their best to say goodbye without uttering a single word. 

Bucky crossed his arms. “Case in point.” 

Steve turned back to his smug friend. “Well, you’ve developed a tell, Buck. She’s clearly on your mind.”

Bucky dropped his arms. “Well, I’m not on hers.”

Steve caught a glimpse of a white dress among the crowds of tired soldiers. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Bucky turned to see Sophia walking towards him. Steve patted his shoulder. “One thing I’ve always admired about you, Bucky, is that you’ve never been afraid to take a leap. Don’t be a fool like me.”

Bucky turned to his friend, who gave him a knowing smile before walking off towards the truck. 

“James?” Sophia’s voice was soft and painfully broken. 

His damn pride rooted him to his spot, despite the overwhelming desire to sweep her into his arms. “Nurse Reynosa.”

She flinched but continued walking. “I’m sorry I ran off last night.” She stepped before him. “I know you can’t tell me where you’re going or what you’ll be doing,” she took a deep breath, “but I overheard what Colonel Phillips said about the mission.” Her breath hitched. “He said it was a suicide mission; he didn’t think you’d all make it back.” She lost any remnants of composure she had left and lowered her head as a fresh wave of tears hit her.

Bucky pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her. “That old fool is underestimating Steve.”

Sophia pressed her cheek into his chest. “It’s not Captain Rogers I’m worried about.”

“I’m going to be fine,” he pulled back. “I promise.”

Sophia closed her eyes and shook her head. “James, you can’t make that kind of promise.” She hung her head. 

“Hey,” he lifted her chin. “There is nothing that’s going to get between me and coming back–”  to you. Those words were on the tip of his tongue, but he was afraid of what would happen if he said them out loud. He felt his resolve to leave on his mission start to break. Heaven help him if she were to ask him to stay.

Sophia opened her eyes, taken back by the conviction burning in his ocean blues. So many years of keeping her heart guarded, and some cruel twist of fate had her giving it to someone who was running head first into unspeakable peril. “Just be careful.”

He kissed her tenderly. “Save my seat until I get back.” He finally let her go and began to pull back when she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again, doing her best to memorize the feeling of his lips on hers, hoping it would sustain her until he returned. 

“We got to go, lover boy!” Dum Dum called out as he started the truck's engine. 

She pulled back, lips still burning with his kiss. “This isn’t goodbye,” she whispered.

“It’s just ‘see you later’.” He gave her one last smile before turning to run towards the truck. With each step he took away from her, he realized he was leaving his heart behind.

------------------------

Bucky rolled over onto his side and opened his eyes, staring blindly at the barren wall. Another dream, another reminder of a life he needed to leave behind. Yet how could he, when he kept seeing her amber eyes? He sighed. Inez. They were her eyes that he kept getting lost in last night, not Sophia’s, he reminded himself. It was Inez’s eyes that lit up when he shared his past, it was Inez’s cheeks that blushed when he gave her flowers. And although she looked like spring, it was the warmth of Inez’s body pressed against his that felt as scorching as a summer’s day. 

He rolled back over onto his back, the hard floor providing little comfort. He didn’t deserve comfort, not after all the sins he had committed. Despite what Dr. Raynor, Sam, or even Steve had thought, it was his hands that took those lives. No matter how hard he tried, the phantom stain of blood remained, etched into his skin along with the countless scars. Despite the cruelty of his fate, he found comfort in the fact that his family and Sophia did not live to see what he had become. Even though Steve had blindly believed in him at his worst, when he was completely lost, it still cut through him whenever Steve had looked at him with pity. Hydra had shattered him over and over again. How was he expected to fix what was so irreversibly broken? Perhaps it was a small mercy that his connection to Sophia was completely severed.

But what about Inez? She must know about the Winter Soldier. She must know about what I have done and yet– he laid his forearm on his forehead, she still smiled at me. Flirted with me, even…maybe? He took a deep breath. His heart ached; hope was a foreign concept and he struggled to let it bloom. Life had taken so much from him. He didn’t dare tempt the fates by hoping to find anything beyond friendship.

Chapter Text

Bucky woke up Sunday morning feeling restless and exhausted. He had spent most of the previous night replaying the dinner in his head, doing his best to convince himself there was nothing behind her smiles or the way her eyes lit up when she caught him looking her over. His soul felt battered as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. While his dreams had haunted him–memories of Sophia–his mind kept replaying Inez’s smile. How the fuck had he managed to get himself into such a miserable place, he didn’t know. But maybe this was his punishment for his past sins. 

No, meeting Inez was not a punishment. She was a ray of sunshine wrapped up in the most beautiful curves he’d ever seen, and he could bask in her warmth until every hurt he carried was burned away.

“Fuck.” He shut off the TV and tossed the remote onto the small side table. Baking shows weren’t going to stop his mind from wandering or his heart from torturing him, so he got dressed and headed to a place where he could work out his frustration.

The VA common room was empty and he took a relieved sigh at the sight. He didn’t feel like conversing politely with anyone today. He grabbed the toolbox from the counter and set to work fixing the old cabinets that had been neglected for decades. Hours passed and his mind finally went quiet, allowing him some reprieve. 

“Is that him?” a muffled voice asked on the other side of the door.

Bucky turned to the window to see Joaquín Torres and a young woman staring at him. They both lept back as if caught doing something they shouldn’t, and Bucky turned back to his work. He didn’t feel like explaining why he was working on a Sunday or introducing himself to someone new. That always led to uncomfortable questions. 

“Shit, it is. We should go.” Joaquín said.

“Why is he here?”

Bucky kept his eyes on the troublesome hinge and did his best to ignore the unwelcome gawkers.

“He’s a veteran,” Joaquín said in an urgent whisper. 

“Right.”

Bucky stepped off the ladder as the door opened, and he set down the screwdriver into the tool box. He took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come. He finally looked up to see a young, red haired woman staring at him, her eyes laser focused on him as she sized him up. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked in an icy tone.

“Working.” Bucky replied calmly. 

Joaquín rushed forward, “Morning, Sergeant Barnes. Didn’t expect to see you until Monday afternoon.”

“Morning, Lieutenant Torres.” Bucky leaned against the counter that ran the length of the back wall. “Figured I’d get started on these old cabinets so they’d be ready in time for Thanksgiving dinner.”

“That’s more than a month away,”

Bucky sighed, “I know, Torres.” He pushed himself off the counter and took off his dirty working gloves, throwing them into the toolbox. “If you need the room, I’ll get out of your way.”

“It’s alright. We were just on our way to see an old buddy of ours; he’s still in rehab figuring out how to work his new leg.”

“Lieutenant Galvin?” Bucky asked as he crossed his arms.

Joaquín nodded. “You know him?”

“Part of the support group.” He lifted his metal hand, which made Joaquín’s companion take a step back. “Tell him I said ‘hi’ and that I’ll be by later for another round of poker.”

Joaquín smiled. “Will do.”

The young woman cleared her throat loudly, making Joaquín turn to look at his clearly annoyed friend. “Right, sorry. This is Lieutenant Donna Callaghan, she just transferred here from Virginia.”

Bucky stepped forward and put out his right hand, making Callaghan look down for a moment before reluctantly taking it and giving him a brief, yet firm handshake. “Nice to meet you, Lieutenant.”  

“Sergeant.”

Sensing her uneasiness, Bucky put on a warm smile and dug deep to make himself seem more sociable, despite the urge to return to his solitary work. “Where are you from?”

“Camp Lehigh,”

“No, I meant-”

“My folks are from Maryland, but grew up in Virginia. Just finished my residency at the VA out in Arlington.”

“Congrats, they must be proud,” he added awkwardly.

Donna’s eyes narrowed. “My mom is. My dad, however, never got to see me graduate med school.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“In fact, he didn’t even know I existed. He died before my mother told him she was pregnant.”

Bucky turned to Joaquín, his eyes begging him to step in but Joaquín simply winced. “Sorry to hear that.”

“He died serving his country,” Donna continued. 

“In combat?” 

She shook her head. “His unit was killed while guarding an asset.”

Bucky felt his stomach drop, before he could stop himself he asked, “Where?”

Seeing Bucky flinch, Donna smiled. “Munich.”

“Hey, we’re going to be late if we don’t get going,” Joaquín finally, mercifully chimed in.

“We were told it was a group of rebels that attacked them,” Donna continued.

Bucky closed his eyes. Fuck. “November of ‘94?”

Donna nodded. “Thanks to the SHIELD data leak of 2014, we now know it was the Winter Soldier who killed my father’s unit.”

“Shit,” Joaquín whispered as he finally realized what was happening. 

Bucky’s hand clenched into a fist at his side as his heart began to pound in his ears. He forced his eyes open. “I’m sorry.” His voice came out as a breathy whisper, the air in his lungs had escaped and his throat began to close as his heart beat wildly against his ribcage. 

Her head tilted to the side. “You’re sorry?”

He forced himself to maintain her gaze. “Yes.”

She took rushed steps forward, Joaquín rushing after. “Donna, don’t!”

“Don’t what, Joaquín?!” Her piercing gaze bore into Bucky’s, but he remained rooted to his spot. Donna was shaking with rage and he knew there was a good chance she’d attack him. Not that he’d blame her. Nor would he stop her. 

“It’s alright, Torres.” Bucky said in a small voice, making Joaquín freeze. 

“He was just a kid,” Donna said through gritted teeth as she took the last step forward and looked up into his irritatingly placid face. “Barely out of basic training.” She seethed.

“I didn’t have…” He swallowed the choking knot in his throat, “I didn’t…have a choice.”

Donna’s eyes went wide with rage. Her hand flew up making Joaquín rush forward, but Bucky put a hand up to stop him. “If I could go back…”

Donna's eyes began to tear and her body began to shake, but she kept her hand up in the air.

“All I can do is apologize, but I know that won’t make the pain I’ve caused you go away.” he said gently.  

Donna blinked, releasing hot tears that stung her freckled skin. She began to lower her hand, taking a deep breath as if collecting herself, and Bucky took a tentative relieved breath. Rage once again jolted through her, sending her hand flying across Bucky’s face, leaving an angry red handprint on his cheek. “Fuck you,” she spat.

Joaquín grabbed Donna by the arm and began to lead her away as Bucky hung his head. “You should be rotting in a prison!” Donna spat as Joaquín led her out of the room.

“I’m sorry about that, Sarge,” Joaquín said.

Bucky waved him off. “It’s alright.”

Once Joaquín had gotten Donna out of the room, she rushed towards the end of the hall, disappearing through the double doors. Joaquín turned back to Bucky. “I’ll be back to talk to HR if you want–”

Bucky shook his head. “It's fine. Just make sure she’s okay.”

Joaquín gave him a solemn nod. “Right. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Happens.” 

Joaquín gave him one last nod before leaving. The moment Bucky was alone, he let his large frame lean against the counter. He choked down air and willed his body to stop shaking. He dug into his memory for any mantra that could help pull him back from the edge, but nothing helped. The world around him began to melt away, the color draining from his surroundings as his vision tunneled. He could feel his body begin to shut down as it prepared to be faced with his past. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to keep the events of November 1994 at bay. The memory of that night started to make its way forward, clawing and scratching its way out of the prison he built for it in his mind. Somewhere in the distance he heard wood splinter, his metal hand had crushed the ledge he was gripping, but he didn’t move. He stood frozen as he tried to hold on to the present. 

The sound of a bell and the buzzing of his phone almost made him jump. With a shaking hand, he took out his phone to see a text from Inez.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: OMG you were right about Mario’s Bakery! Best pastries in town! 🥐

He smiled at the picture of Inez eating a chocolate croissant that accompanied the message. He finally managed to take a deep breath; color returned to the world as his thumb ran across the picture, wishing somehow he could reach her through the phone. He double tapped the image, liking it, and pushed himself off the counter. He wanted to say more, but his hands were still shaking and his mind was still piecing itself back together. An achingly familiar feeling of comfort ran through him, one that could make any gray cloud lift with the brightness of her amber eyes and smile. He had such an oasis during the war and it seems he had found another in Inez. Unable to logic his feelings away this time, he simply enjoyed the string of thoughts she sent his way. His heart leapt at the thought that she was somewhere out there thinking about him, and it was enough to push back the memory of his sins long enough to finish fixing the cabinets. 

----------------------------------------

By the time the smoke cleared, Bucky was the last man standing, surrounded by the terror-filled lifeless faces of his targets. His orders played on a loop, buzzing in his ears, drowning out the roaring silence that followed the din of battle. He swept his gaze over the area. Satisfied, he looped his rifle over his shoulder and walked toward his motorcycle, stepping over bodies.

Mission complete. Or so he believed, until he heard someone whimper.  

“I told her,” a red headed man groaned while trying to push himself up.

Bucky turned around and marched back to the wounded man. He swung his rifle around and aimed.

“I told her,” the man repeated before he coughed up blood, “I’d come back.” He let out another wet cough. “I promised her.” The man looked up, umber eyes glistening with tears, yet unafraid of the rifle pointed at his head. “I didn’t even get to tell her…” He blinked, releasing tears that washed away the blood from his cheeks. “But I loved her.”

Bucky’s grip on the trigger eased, the buzzing in his head began to fade away, leaving only the sound of a dying man’s confession. He lowered the rifle barely an inch and the man’s eyes brightened with hope.

“Winter Soldier, report,” a voice crackled from his radio in Russian.

The buzzing in Bucky’s head returned, but his arms didn’t move. I promised her I’d come back. His own voice parroted the dying man’s words. 

‘And you will, Bucky,’ someone assured him warmly. 

Bucky inhaled sharply; the man’s voice sent a chill down his spine. Whoever was trying to ease his weary soul was painfully familiar, and he felt his own eyes begin to sting with unshed tears.

“Winter Soldier, report!” his handler’s voice barked from the radio on his belt. “Was the target eliminated?”

Bucky looked down at the man–the young man–no, the young soldier–who searched his face for mercy. He straightened and lifted his rifle back into position, placing his finger on the trigger. The young soldier blinked and looked down, resigning himself to his fate. The crack of the rifle shot echoed into the night, leaving him once again in torturous silence. He placed his rifle back onto his shoulder and removed the radio from his belt. “ Yes .”

“Good, return to base.” The line went dead. 

An hour later, he was following his handler into the debriefing room, when the young soldier's pleas began to replay in his head. Then the familiar voice broke through again, “And you will, Bucky.” 

“Who is Bucky?” he asked.

Everyone froze and his handler turned around to face him. “What did you say?” his handler asked.

Bucky looked up at the Hydra commander glaring at him. “Who is Bucky?”

“Shit.” His handler sighed and turned to the two guards standing by the door. “Wipe him.” 

Bucky flinched, but didn’t resist when the guards took him by the arms and led him to the chair sitting in the center of the room. He looked up at the ceiling as they strapped him in, doing his best to school his face into a neutral mask; he knew if he showed any emotion they would punish him more harshly. They tightened the straps around his arms and placed a guard in his mouth to keep his teeth from shattering. He closed his eyes. The pain ripped through his body as they sent wave after wave of electric shocks through him. He willingly let the darkness take him as they tortured his mind into submission. 

----------------------------------------

“James!” He felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” Concern and anxiety laced her gentle tone. 

He opened his eyes to see Sophia crouched down beside him, eyes brimmed with worry. He reached out and placed a hand on her cheek, the feel of her soft skin anchored him to the moment, and he took a relieved breath. “I am now,” he lied.

“What happened?”

Bucky stood up and leaned against the wall of the mess hall. He couldn’t meet her gaze though, and kept his eyes on his feet as the memories of the fallen soldiers replayed in his mind and regret crept up his throat. “Mission went sideways.”

“But the General said it was a success.”

Bucky’s hand clenched. “We took out the target, but were too late to save the prisoners.” His body began to shake, guilt had joined her sister in choking the air from his lungs. 

“James.” Her voice was soft, just barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

He didn’t dare look up. How could he face her when he felt like such a failure? He opened his mouth, but words died on his tongue. Instead, a quiet sob escaped him, and before he had a chance to cover his mouth, Sophia’s arms were wrapped around him. His large frame sunk into her embrace, his broken soul soothed as she ran her hand up and down his back. He closed his eyes, and for the first time since they got back, he didn’t see death masks staring back at him. He willingly let the darkness take him. 

Sophia didn’t mention his breakdown while they ate lunch or as he walked her back to the med bay later that day. They kept their conversations light, and he couldn’t have been more thankful for her patience and grace. 

That night as he tried to sleep, he tossed and turned as he tried to turn off his brain, but counting sheep or the stitches in the roof of his tent did nothing but frustrate him further. The look of silent understanding in her eyes kept replaying in his mind, and suddenly he felt something shift. She was no longer just the beacon of light in the fog of war, or a beautiful daydream. He was completely, utterly in love with her. The realization made him sit up, heart beating wildly as reality hit him head on. He leapt out of bed, dressing quickly before sneaking out of his tent and marching straight to the med bay.

He quietly tucked himself into a dark corner, watching her as she handed off her duties to the morning shift nurse and grabbed her bag. “Sophie,” he whispered.

Sophia turned toward the dark corner where Bucky was hiding. She looked around, making sure the hallway was clear before she rushed over to him. “What are you doing here?”

He took her hand. “I–” the words were on the tip of his tongue, but refused to let go. The sound of footsteps prompted him to reach for the storage room handle, pulling them both inside before they were discovered. “I had to see you.”

“It’s the middle of the night, James. You should be resting,” she admonished him. 

“I know, but I couldn’t sleep.”

She searched his face, “Are you hurt?” 

“No,” he took a deep breath. “Sophie, what you did for me today…” His hand began to shake slightly, his courage was on the verge of giving out. “I just wanted to say–” 

Sophia placed a hand on the side of his face. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand.”

“I don’t think you do.” Just tell her, tell her that you love her. 

Sophia gave him a small smile before pressing her body against his, laying a gentle kiss on his lips. “I don’t think you’re weak for grieving,” she whispered. 

He took her face in his hands, kissing her softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He could have drowned in this moment; it was so damn close to perfect. And then her hands began to move up into his hair and a groan escaped him as she pulled him closer. Any memory of why he had stolen her away to a storage room disappeared as the feel of her nimble fingers began to light a fire he’d been trying to contain for weeks. His hands traced down the curves of her waist, reaching back until he squeezed her ample backside. Sophia yelped and he instantly flew back. “I’m sorry.” He felt lightheaded, as if the oxygen was being siphoned from the room.

Sophia took short, rapid breaths, her lips still inflamed from his kiss.

“You must be tired and–I don’t know what I was thinking…” Bucky began to ramble. 

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him into her, planting a searing kiss as she traced her hand up his heaving chest. “I bet I do,” she purred before she let go of his shirt and reached down to the obvious sign of his intentions. 

“Shit,” Bucky hissed as she palmed him through his pants. 

She pulled her hand away and looked up. “I want you.” 

He felt his stomach drop through the floor, momentarily stunned. The silence stretched between them, making Sophia grow embarrassed. “What do you think?”

Bucky smiled, “I think...I love a woman who knows what she wants.” He took her in his arms. “But you deserve to be treated right, gorgeous. You know; dinner, a nice room, and a bed.” He caressed the side of her face. 

Sophia chuckled darkly, “Always the gentleman.” She got up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek. “As long as I’m with you, it will be perfect.”

Bucky looked around the large storage room, his heart almost lept out of his chest when he caught sight of a cot tucked in the corner. He reached behind him and locked the door before leading her towards it, grabbing a small foil packet from the box of condoms. “Are you sure?” he asked as they stopped beside the cot.

Sophia pulled her hand from his grip and reached up to remove the pins from her hat. She dropped it to the floor and shook out her heavy curls, then eagerly toed out of her shoes and began to unbutton her starched white dress. He sat down on the edge of the cot and watched as she slowly became undone. His breath hitched when her ample cleavage was finally revealed, soft curves beneath crisp folds. The moment her dress hit the floor he pulled her towards him, kissing her collarbone before slowly making his way down towards her luscious breasts. Sophia moaned as he pulled down her bra and took her soft, brown nipple into his mouth while his other hand palmed her other breast. Even with his large hands he couldn’t take her in all at once.

Sophia rubbed her thighs together, desperately trying to relieve the pressure that was building in her core. “James,” she gripped the back of his head. “Please.” 

He pulled his mouth away from her taut nipple and dropped his hands to her waist, tracing them slowly down to release her garters. He knelt in front of her and watched her eyelids flutter while he smoothed her stockings down her shapely legs and took them off. He stood again and gripped her soft waist, one hand slowly releasing the zipper on her girdle while the other tugged it down along with her panties. His wayward hands then traveled to the claps of her bra, releasing each hook until her breasts were finally freed. “God, you’re perfect,” he whispered breathlessly. 

She smiled, “Your turn, soldier.”

“Not yet.” He pulled her into him, sweeping her off her feet before gently laying her down on the cot. He ran his calloused hands down her curves, teasing her and causing her to shiver in the wake of his touch while a flame burned in her core. Sophia gently pushed him off her and she turned to watch as he stripped off his clothes. Bucky hadn’t bothered to put on more than a t-shirt and trousers before leaving his bunk, but Sophia enjoyed the show all the same. She watched hungrily as he reached back to pull off his shirt, showing off his broad back and toned abs. She followed the path of his trousers as he pushed them down his powerful legs then followed the long lines up, biting her lips when she looked down at his weeping cock. 

He gave her a devilish grin as he joined her on the cot, caging her beneath his arms. She inhaled sharply as he pressed his hardened length into her stomach. “Patience, gorgeous.”

Before Sophia could protest, he shifted down, leaving a trail of teasing kisses until he reached her navel. She sat up, chest heaving at the sight of his face between her legs. “James?”

He planted a soft kiss on her inner thigh, “I want to taste you first, Sophie. Can I?”

Her heart jumped into her throat, unable to muster even a simple yes, she simply nodded. As tempting as it was to watch him, the moment his mouth reached her aching pussy she collapsed back into the cot. He explored every inch of her, focusing on the spots that made her moan or writhe beneath him. “James!” She almost sat up and slammed her legs shut as his tongue lightly brushed her clit. Firm hands grabbed her plush thighs. “Better keep quiet, gorgeous. Don’t want to get caught, at least not until I’m done with you.”

She fell back into the cot again and placed her hand over her mouth, doing her best to breathe as he placed his mouth on her again. Bucky returned his attention to her clit, lightly sucking on the bundle of nerves and making Sophia choke back a moan. Her legs began to tremble, and sensing she was close, he sunk two fingers into her weeping pussy. 

“James!” she moaned into her hand as her back arched off the cot. 

He increased the speed of his thrust until he felt her quiver around him. With a final, hot stroke of her clit she came undone, hand falling from her mouth as she let out a deep, almost guttural moan. He pulled back, moving up her body until she was caged beneath him again. He gently placed a strand of hair behind her ear, making her eyes flutter open. 

“Sophie, I…” If there was ever a moment to say it, it was this one. 

Sophia leaned up and kissed him before he could say another word. She moaned as she tasted herself on his lips. Her hands raked over his body while her legs wrapped around his waist. He hissed as he felt his cock brush against her entrance. He pulled away and looked down at Sophia, who simply nodded. 

“I need to hear you, Sophie,” he growled. “Tell me–tell me you want this.”

She took him in hand in response, looking up at him from under dark lashes. “Yes, James.” She kissed him as he lowered himself onto her. “Please,” she whined.

He quickly leaned over the side of the cot, digging into his pants pocket, and tore open the foil packet. Sophia watched with hungry eyes as he rolled the condom on to his cock, the sight of her licking her lips sending a jolt through him, making him quickly take his place again between her legs. He kissed her and swallowed her pleas while he slowly pushed into her, burying himself, inch by glorious inch.  He pressed his forehead into hers as he tried to keep himself from losing all control. 

“James,” her voice was soft, almost breathless. 

He pulled back, his body protesting at being parted from her and looked down into her eyes. He didn’t know why he couldn’t bring himself to say it; maybe he was afraid he would never be able to leave her side once he did. So if he couldn't say it, he'd show her, giving her every piece of himself and making her feel everything she did to him. 

He leaned back down and kissed her as he began to move, thrusting in and out of her slowly, every drag of his cock through her dripping folds drawing out a breathy sigh from each of them. She gripped his back, her manicured nails digging into his skin, leaving angry red marks for his squad mates to rib him about later. He hissed at the pain and bit at her mouth, her chin, her neck, making her utter the most beautiful, filthy sounds. One such loud moan was accompanied by the fluttering of her walls around him. Bucky upped his intensity, slow and languid becoming rough and fervent. 

He pulled her up against him, bending her back and harshly sucking a taut nipple into his mouth. She placed one arm above her head against the wall, pushing her breast into his mouth and meeting his thrusts, and the coil in the pit of his stomach began to twist almost painfully. Just as he began to lose all control, he felt her come around him. The feel of her delicious vice squeezing his cock finally pushed him over the edge. She moaned into his lips as he held onto her for dear life as he came, each pulse of her orgasm sending wave after wave of pleasure through him. Sophia’s body finally collapsed onto the cot, while his shaking arms did their best to hold him up. 

Sophia opened her eyes. “James, te–”

Bells went off somewhere, and with each ring they grew louder and louder until they rattled in his skull. Before he could ask her to repeat what she said, she disappeared. His eyes shot open and his mind raced as it took a moment to realize he was no longer in the comfort of Sophia’s arms, but instead back in his dark apartment. He pushed himself up, heart still racing as he looked around for his shrieking phone. Once he shut off the alarm, he ran his fingers through his hair. His brow was slick from sweat despite his apartment being a crisp 70 degrees. After finally catching his breath, he looked down at his phone and frowned. His two weeks were up, and he was due to meet with Raynor in a few hours. 

She’s going to ask about Sophia. I doubt she would have forgotten my last outburst. He sighed. And what would he tell her? That he met a woman who looked exactly like Sophia, went on a date with that woman, and is now going to show her around the city? All while he keeps dreaming about his former love? He groaned as he wiped his face. Yeah, that’s fucking crazy.

He got up, threw his phone onto his chair, and went to take a very cold shower. 

----------------------------------------

“In our last session, you mentioned you didn’t want to talk about someone from your past,” Raynor said as she looked down at her notes. “A woman. A relative maybe?”

“Wow, no ‘Hi, how are you doing?’, just diving right in, huh?” Bucky asked sarcastically. 

“Answer the question, James.”

He sighed and settled into his chair. “No, she wasn’t a relative. I met her during the war.”

“And why does it cause you pain to remember her?”

“I’ve lost everyone I loved, aren't I allowed to feel like shit when I remember them?” 

“Grief is expected, yes. But why now? Did something happen to trigger your memories of her?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, and he considered his next words carefully. “I finally went to see the Howling Commandos exhibit.”

“Ah,” Raynor's eyes softened a miniscule amount. “That’s great.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, it was a blast.”

“You can’t keep your past locked away. By doing so, you are denying yourself moments of joy you had before you were taken prisoner.”

“Even if they hurt like hell?”

“That pain is made worse by unprocessed grief.”

“Sure, I’ll get on that once I process the rest of my shit.”

Raynor sighed. “I told you, therapy isn’t a cure-all or a quick fix. It will take time. How long exactly is up to you.”

Bucky let his head fall back on the chair's headrest. “I don’t have another hundred years, doc.”

“Then do the work, James.” She sighed. “What was her name?”

He flinched. In the last few weeks that he had been reminiscing about Sophia, he hadn’t actually spoken her name out loud, and for now he wanted to keep it that way. “Next question.”

Raynor shook her head. “Fine, we’ll come back to that. What was your relationship with her?”

“Close.”

“How close?”

He closed his eyes. “Very.”

“Was she a friend, or something more?”

“She was everything,” he said without thinking, and he sat up, eyes flying open at the sound of Raynor taking notes. “Mind if we switch topics?”

“To what?”

“I went out for dinner this weekend.”

“Don’t you and Sam usually have dinner before poker night?”

“I didn’t go out with Sam.”

Raynor set down her pen and leaned forward. He smiled; he was hoping this bit of information would be tempting enough to steer her away from Sophia. “I met her at the VA. She interviewed me about the 107th Infantry Regiment.”

“During dinner?”

“No, she took me out to dinner to thank me for talking to her about the men I served with,” he offered willingly. 

Raynor raised an eyebrow. “So it was a professional outing?”

“Started like that.” He crossed his arms and frowned when the skeptical look didn’t disappear from her face. “You told me to make more personal connections.” 

“I did. So what do you hope to get from your new connection?”

“Another drinking buddy,” he quipped. 

Raynor didn’t laugh or smile, she instead went back to her notes.

“A friend,” he blurted out. “She’s new to the city and still trying to get her bearings.” He took a deep breath. “I can relate to that.”

Raynor nodded. “That’s good. I’m glad you are widening your social circle. Maybe by helping someone else find their place, you’ll finally accept yours.”

 “And what is my place in all this?”

“That’s up to you. What would you like from your new life?”

Flashes of all his discarded dreams attacked his fragile mind, like birds swooping in to peck at a wounded animal. All those dreams involved his family, friends, and Sophia. All of them were now gone, leaving him alone with nothing. Not nothing. You have Sam, a job, and maybe Inez… He stopped himself and refocused on Raynor. “Still don’t know.”

“Alright, let's start small. Do you like your job at the VA?”

“Yeah, I love it.”

“And your apartment?” 

He shrugged. “It has a TV and a place to sleep.” 

“But is it a home?”

“I guess.”

“You guess?”

“It's a safe place to rest my head at the end of the day. That’s enough for me.”

“You should want more than just good enough. You’re allowed to want things again.”

“So, get some artwork or a bed to make my place more homey?”

“If that will make you ha–you don’t have a bed?” She paused. “Never mind. The point is finding out what you want. It can be hard to pinpoint those things when you have been without choice for so long. You have a stable job, things are calm with the GRC at the moment. So use this time to figure that out.”

“How is that going to help me process what I’ve been through?”

“You need something to anchor you when this work gets hard. It will also help you realize you are no longer in survival mode; you've got a life outside of all this.” She waved her hand around her small office. 

“Hmm, so what do you want me to do?”

“Take stock of what you have, then ask yourself, what is it that you want to do with your new found freedom and who do you want to share it with.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Is that your way of telling me to date?”

“No, but I am telling you that you need more friends than just Sam. And yes, it wouldn’t hurt if you were to put yourself out there again. You need a solid support system, James.”

“I don’t know anyone crazy enough to take me on.”

Raynor shook her head. “You’ll never know if you keep yourself out of reach.”

Bucky looked down at his hands again, the memory of Inez walking away from him flashed in his mind. Even if he hadn’t seen her face, he had heard the hurt in her voice and it tore at him. She didn’t deserve any of it. “I’ve got a lot of baggage, doc. Last thing I want to do is pull someone under with me.”

Raynor sighed. “Despite everything you have been through, you’re still standing. If you want to build more friendships, you are going to have to let people in.”

Bucky felt his throat tighten, “Remembering all the things I did as the Winter Soldier means he’s still there,” he said softly. “And I don’t want him to hurt her.”

“The Winter Soldier was just programming, it's not who you were or are now. Does she know about your past?”

He nodded. 

“And yet she’s still willing to see you again. That means something.”

Bucky looked up. “What?”

“That there are people willing to judge you on who you are now, and maybe they like what they see.”

“Even so, there are plenty of people I hurt.”

Raynor opened her mouth to dispute his point but he cut her off. “The daughter of a target I eliminated confronted me yesterday.”

Raynor frowned. “And how did it go?”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, he knew if he told her the truth there was a chance Donna would get in trouble, making guilt roil through him. “She told me to fuck off.”

“Did that trigger an episode?”

“Almost.”

“So the mantras and breath techniques helped?”

No, it was Inez’s texts about pastries and pictures of her with cream on her nose that pulled me back. “Yeah.”

Raynor nodded. “And the nightmares?”

He flinched as Sophia’s moans echoed in his head. “Better.”

“Good,” she gave him a satisfied, but small grin. “I’m glad to see our work finally paying off.”

“Sure is.” Bucky felt a tinge of guilt lying to Raynor. Despite her cold demeanor, she genuinely cared about his progress and he knew he wasn’t doing himself any favors by lying to her. Meeting Sophia’s doppelganger so soon after he started to remember her felt mad, even if true. And he was sure Raynor wouldn't approve of his friendship with Inez, so he lied. He had lost Sophia, he couldn't risk losing Inez, too. Any sign of madness was a one-way ticket back to a frozen prison, so for now he’d carry the burden of missing the woman he lost while trying to figure out how Inez would fit into his life. 

----------------------------------------

The light of the late morning sun almost blinded Bucky as he stepped outside but he didn’t mind. Instead of recoiling from the bright day, the warm sun and crisp fall breeze felt like a soothing balm on his skin, and the bite of the chill air felt good as he inhaled. He had spent an hour sparring with Raynor, keeping Sophia off his mind and contemplating what he wanted from his new found friendship with Inez. He felt not just spent, but bruised and battered. 

“That bad, huh?”

Bucky turned to his left to see Sam lounging against a tree, holding two cups of coffee. “What are you doing here?”

“I had a meeting down the street and I figured you’d need this.” Sam walked over to his skeptical friend and handed him the cup of black coffee. “Don't worry, I made sure to add three sugars.”

“A meeting, huh?”

“Yeah, with the GRC.”

“Their headquarters aren’t in Brooklyn.”

“Senator Hyorth has an office just a block away.”

Bucky took a large swig of his morning elixir. “Good to see the politicians haven’t rubbed off on you; you can’t lie worth shit.”

Sam threw up his hand in defeat. “Fine, you caught me. I was worried, okay?”

“I’m fine, Sam,” he said flatly before taking off.

“Buck,” Sam rushed after his clearly grumpy friend. “I know things haven’t been easy lately. First the episode at the museum, then talking to Dr. Garcia about your old unit,” he grabbed Bucky’s arm. “I just wanted to make sure you're okay.”

“Did Raynor call you?”

“No, not this time.”

Bucky finally stopped and turned to face Sam. He was tempted to scream at Sam for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong, but the truth was that he was touched that his friend cared enough to meddle. “Let’s grab a bite, I’m starving.”

Sam smiled. “I know a place.” He roughly patted Bucky’s arm. “Come on.”

Bucky bit back a smile as they walked up to Sue’s Diner. While the decor was a decade after his time, it still had a warmth and atmosphere that made him feel at ease. After their waitress took their order, Sam set his hands on the table and took a deep breath. “So, did Raynor bust your balls again?”

Bucky chuckled. “No, but she should have. I wasn’t exactly forthcoming today.”

“Did you tell her about Dr. Garcia?”

“I did,” he sighed. “Well, sort of.” He rubbed his face. He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath, choosing his next words carefully. “That day at the museum, I didn’t run because it was too much. I ran because the exhibit reminded me of someone.”

Sam raised an eyebrow but remained silent, giving Bucky time to collect his thoughts.

“I had a girl back during the war. She was a nurse who worked with the 107th Infantry Regiment.”

“Shit,” Sam cursed softly. “I’m sorry Bucky.”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s been over eighty years, so…”

“Doesn’t mean it can’t hurt like hell. Is she still around?”

Bucky shook his head and closed his hands into fists as he tried desperately to not mention Inez’s uncanny resemblance. “I guess it’s for the best, especially after what I became.”

Sam shook his head. “I swear, I’m going to tattoo this on your forehead: it wasn’t your fault!”

Bucky looked up. “Only if I can tattoo ‘jackass’ on yours.”

Sam chuckled. “Well it takes one to know one,” he quipped.

“Right,” Bucky finally cracked a smile. 

“Are you sure you should continue to see Dr. Garcia then?”

Bucky’s stomach twisted. Does he know?! “What do you mean?”

“She’s researching the 107th.”

He relaxed a little. “She already interviewed me, so it’s fine.”

Sam’s eyebrow reached new heights. 

Bucky sighed. “I’m not backing out on my promise to show her around.” 

“And you like her,” Sam pressed.

Bucky looked back down, grabbing a sugar packet and twisting it like what he imagined his gut looked like. 

“You are allowed to start over, Buck. The ones we have lost wouldn’t want us to get stuck in the past because of them.”

Bucky kept twisting the sugar packet and said nothing. 

“I know it’s easier said than done,” Sam sighed. “When my parents died, I got lost in my work to keep from going home. I didn’t want to walk into that house knowing they wouldn’t be there. And that worked for a while. It wasn't until after we came back from the blip that I realized how much that hurt the ones I loved. I abandoned Sarah after she not only lost our parents, but her husband as well.”

“I don’t have family left.”

“But there are people who love you.”

Bucky finally looked up and smiled. “I knew Sarah liked me.”

Sam laughed. “She loves you like a brother.” 

Bucky shrugged. “Whatever you say.” 

“Would it be so bad if you became more than a research subject to Dr. Garcia?” 

Bucky inhaled sharply to keep unexpected tears at bay. “Moving on almost feels like I’m replacing what I lost.” 

“But you’re not. It’s okay to open yourself up to someone new. You’ve got a long life ahead of you, do you really want to spend it alone?”

The image of Inez laughing flashed in his mind, making the corner of his mouth lift a little. “I guess not.”

Sam smiled. “Then tell me about your date last night. It was a date, wasn’t it?”

Bucky refused to answer and instead opened his sugar packet and poured it into his lukewarm coffee. 

“Come on, you have to tell me something,” Sam complained.

“Remind me, how long are you staying in New York?” Bucky asked.

“You know cleaning up after a fight can take weeks, even months.” Sam looked out onto the busy street.

“Right,” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

“Not soon enough,” Bucky grumbled under his breath. 

“Wow, that bad, huh?”

Bucky glared at his friend. “No, it wasn’t. It was great in fact. She was lovely.”

“Lovely? Did you go on a date or take your grandma out to an early bird special?” Sam leaned forward. 

“You’re really not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope. So did she dress up?”

Bucky sighed. “She looked–” the image of Inez in her whiskey-colored wrap dress flashed in his mind. “Good.”

“So, when are you seeing her again?”

“This weekend, but only because I offered to take her sightseeing.”

“You never offered to take me sightseeing.”

“Well, you’re not as pretty as she is.”

“Ah ha!” Sam slammed the table. “I knew it! You’re into her.”

“You know, it is possible to just be friends with an attractive woman.”

“We’ll see. So, what do you have planned next?”

“I was going to let her choose, then take her to grab a slice.”

“That’s it?”

“It's a good start.”

“That’s a terrible idea and so basic.”

“Oh really? Then where would you take her?”

“What’s she into?”

“She’s a historian.”

“That’s her job,” Sam pulled out his phone and opened his Instagram app. “From what I can see here, she likes reading novels, cooking,” he kept scrolling. “Huh, she’s a foodie, nice. And visiting historical landmarks; we got plenty of those in the city.” Sam looked up. 

“Where the hell are you getting this information?”

Sam held up his phone. “From her profile.” 

“You can’t look her up!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s weird.”

“Not in this day and age. She probably looked you up.”

“She interviewed me, so of course she did.”

“Right,” Sam kept scrolling. “Doesn’t look like she has a boyfriend.”

“Shut that off, will ya?”

“Don't you want to know what she's into?”

“In my day people asked each other questions. They talked about their interests to get to know each other.”

“So then you asked her about her interests on your date?”

“It wasn’t a date!” He sank into his chair, “And, I mean, yeah, we did. Some. We mostly talked about food.” He would rather be put back on ice again than to admit how he spent most of the night memorizing every curve of her body or mesmerized by that wicked mouth of hers to himself much less to Sam.

“Here,” Sam texted him a link to Inez’s profile. “This should give you better ideas for your next date.”

“Oh for the love of–” he sighed. “Are you always this nosy?”

“Yes.”

“I hate you,” Bucky said flatly. 

Sam smiled. “I know. But you’ll thank me later.”

“I doubt that.” 

“Are you coming to poker night next Saturday?” 

“Yes,” Bucky said quietly.

“Great! Can’t wait to hear all about your sightseeing adventures!” Sam raised his coffee mug in a mock toast. 

Their food finally arrived, shifting Sam’s attention to his stack of pancakes and giving Bucky a reprieve from Sam’s meddling questions. They spent the rest of their meal talking about Sam’s new role as Captain America, musing about what the GRC could do better and potential future assignments Bucky could join Sam in. By the time they parted, Bucky felt lighter and ready to head back to the VA. 

After leaving with an almost full stomach, thanks to Sam paying him what he owed him from their last poker game, he walked straight to the subway station. He leaned back into his chair, thankful the subway car was mostly empty and let his mind go over the never ending list of things that needed fixing at the VA. He did his best to keep his mind on work but his phone felt like a live grenade in his pocket. Unable to ignore it any longer, he took it out and clicked on the link Sam had sent him. He scrolled through Inez’s profile until the website prompted him to create an account. He locked his phone and put it back into his pocket. 

An hour later, he had made an account with the username JBBarnes1.  

----------------------------------------

Between continuing to dissect the interview recording, researching more about the Howling Commandos, and starting her new side project–recording Bucky’s story as told by him–her focus seemed to be on Bucky for most of the week. A part of her didn’t mind; Bucky was the most handsome distraction she had ever seen, and she relished a chance to drown in the sound of his voice. Another part, however, warned her not to get too attached or read too much into Bucky’s kindness. Despite her attraction, she liked getting to know the shy, sometimes grumpy soldier, and hoped they would remain in each other's lives. Even if it was just as friends. 

After a long morning of research and fending off Becca’s probing questions about her dinner, which involved the promise of free drinks on their next girls night out, she set out to try another of Bucky’s recommendations, Gina Maria’s. The quaint Italian restaurant was nestled between two shops a few blocks away from the museum. She immediately texted Bucky to let him know she was about to embark on another culinary adventure. Just as she took a sip of her water, her phone buzzed with his reply. 

James Barnes: You have to try the 🍆 dish

Inez choked back the water as she tried not to laugh out loud. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: 😲 What?!

Three dots appeared on her screen, the seconds ticking by as Bucky tried to respond. Finally he sent:

James Barnes: 🤦🏻Sorry, my buddy just explained I should have written out the word. I meant to say, you should try the eggplant parmesan pasta.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: 🤣 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: If he is a good friend, he would give you a proper emoji lesson. Wouldn’t want to cause any further miscommunication or get someone's hopes up. 😉

James Barnes: Get their hopes up, huh? Sending an eggplant is all it takes?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: For some.

James Barnes: What about you?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: I like a man who is more direct in his intentions.

James Barnes: Good to know. 😉

Inez felt her cheeks flush and her core twist. She could almost hear his voice whisper “Good to know” in her ear, and the soft brush of his lips against her skin. She quickly looked down at the phone, formulating a reply that may elicit a direct response, when her phone rang. At the sight of the +52 Mexican area code, her blood went cold, dousing any fire Bucky’s texts had ignited. She took a deep breath and reluctantly answered the call.

“Bueno?” 

“Hola, mjia. How are you?” her abuela greeted her in Spanish. 

Inez shifted in her seat. “Hola abuela, I’m well. I’m about to eat lunch, actually.”

“Don’t tell me you’re eating that shit American fast food again.”

“That’s not all they have in New York, abuela. I’m actually at this really nice hole in the wall Italian place. A friend suggested it and said it was one of the best in town.”

“Oh, so you’re out to lunch with a friend, then?”

“No.”

“So you’re alone?”

Inez bit back an exasperated sigh. “Yes.” 

“Ay mija, don’t you have any friends yet? People might think it’s strange to see a grown woman eating alone.”

“I do have friends, but it's the middle of the workday. They’re busy.” She pulled the phone away when the waitress arrived, and ordered the eggplant parmesan pasta before returning to her phone call. “Besides, I don't mind eating out alone.”

She heard her abuela sigh, and Inez could almost see her abuela shaking her head. “You had so many friends here in Mexico. They all miss you by the way.”

“They weren’t my friends, they were my cousins. And I doubt that.”

“Despite the way you left things with your tias and Luce, the family does miss you.”

Inez braced herself, knowing what was about to come next–knowing that her abuela was about to ask her to come back–and it would kill her to deny her request. “I know they do, in their own way.”

Alma chuckled. “I know they are a tough bunch, but behind their sharp words is love. You know that, right mija?”

Inez closed her eyes. “If you say so.”

“I do. Which is why I’m calling you today. The family…”

Inez flinched. Here it comes.

“...is going to have a meeting soon to discuss the family business, and we’d like you to participate.”

“I have nothing to do with the shop.”

“Maybe not now, but someday when you finally settle down…”

Inez opened her eyes, somewhat shocked her abuela was being so brazen. “You know Luce has had her heart set on taking over since we were kids.”

“I know, but pobrecita, she isn’t as talented as you are. You have a gift, mija. One that is being wasted by digging up rocks and reading old books.”

Inez’s free hand clenched into a fist. “I’ve worked really hard to get where I am and–” She stopped herself, knowing her argument would fall on deaf ears. “You said I could study what I wanted.”

“I did, with the understanding you’d eventually come back.”

“I didn’t know my career came with conditions.”

“Considering how much we paid for it, it does. Family comes first, after all. Doesn’t it?”

Inez groaned. She hated when her abuela backed her into a wall. “The work I’m doing here matters, and I’m close to completing a major exhibit at the museum.”

“Really? I thought your exhibit was scrapped by the director.”

“Not exactly–wait! How do you know that?”

“Marco told me. He’s friends with some major donors at the museum.”

“What?!”

“I thought you knew.”

“That Marco knows where I work?! I haven’t spoken to him in–”

“Five years. Well, he was blipped, mija.”

She’d never admit it out loud, but Marco disappearing after their breakup was the only good thing to happen because of the Blip. But now he was back and sticking his nose where it didn’t belong. “I know you’re friends with his mama, but can you please not share anything about my work or life with her?”

“Nora still loves you like a daughter, you know.”

Inez rolled her eyes. “Right, it has nothing to do with the merger of our family businesses. I’m surprised he's not going after Luce or Carmen now that he’s back.”

“He’s only ever had eyes for you, mija. And like me, his mother values talent.”

The waitress finally arrived with a delicious plate of pasta but Inez’s appetite had been decimated by mention of her ex. She gave the waitress a forced smile before shifting her attention back to her abuela. “I know the tias asked you to call me and convince me to come back. So far it isn’t working.”

“I know you’ll come back when you’re ready.”

“If you and the tias keep trying to meddle with my love life, or control my career, I’ll take a post in Siberia next time.” Inez did her best to keep from raising her voice, but her temper had gotten the better of her.

“Inez Metzli Garcia, I know you did not just raise your voice at me.”

Inez shrunk down into her seat, suddenly feeling like a fifteen year-old girl rather than a thirty eight year-old historian and archaeologist working at a world-renowned museum. “I apologize,” she sighed. “I’m just hungry and a little stressed.”

“That’s what happens when you force something, mija. Now, are you free Saturday afternoon?”

“I have plans with a friend.”

“Can you reschedule?”

Inez sat back up, her abuela may be able to cut her down at times, but there was no way in hell she was going to let her family get in the way of going out with Bucky. “I can’t. If there is a vote, feel free to cast it on my behalf.”

“I know your tias would really appreciate your input.”

“Well if they have any questions about the Mexican soldiers who fought in the war, they can give me a call.”

“Oh, so that is what your exhibit was about?”

“Yes.”

“Hmmm.”

“What?” 

“Marco didn’t mention that, ay ese niño. Well I’m sure he can still get in touch with his friends and ask Dr. Miller to reconsider. I didn’t know you were honoring your abuelo–”

“Wait! You had Marco tank my exhibit?!”

“No, we simply asked for our donation to be allocated elsewhere.”

Inez felt sick to her stomach. This is San Diego all over again. She wanted to scream, to tell her abuela how hard she had worked to gather every scrap of information she could find about the men who fought alongside her abuelo’s countrymen. How she had poured her heart into the exhibit as a way to honor him, and how she wanted to surprise her abuela since she knew how much she missed her husband. To find out now that it was her own family that had thwarted her work–again–felt like a stab in the heart. 

She had laughed at her last therapist when she suggested cutting off family members who blew past her boundaries, leaving her practice shortly after. Now she understood why. Despite promising her freedom to choose her own career, they still tried to cage her by holding the cost of her education over her head. And now they were going as far as using their wealth to influence her career. She took a deep breath, pushing down all the hurt and rage that was twisting her stomach. “Dr. Villa’s Aztec exhibit?”

“Yes.”

“It’s a great addition to the museum. The Mexican ambassador even showed up to the opening.” 

“Mr. Salas is an old friend. I’m glad he enjoyed it.”

Inez felt hot tears begin to stream down her face. “My lunch hour is almost up, so I need to get going.”

“Oh I’m sorry, mija. You should take your food to go. Promise me you’ll eat.”

“I will, abuela.”

“Great! I’ll call you after the meeting on Saturday. Make sure to keep your phone on, in case we need you.”

“Okay.” Inez was numb, completely and utterly numb. It was the only way to keep from losing it in the middle of the restaurant. 

“Te amo, mija. Talk soon. Adios.”

“Te amo, abuela. Adios.”   

Inez set down her phone and stared at her food. Bucky was right, it looks amazing. She waved down a waiter and asked for a to-go box. As she finished packing up her meal, her phone buzzed. She flinched, too scared to look down in fear it would be a text from her cousins, tias, or even worse, Marco. But instead, she saw a picture of Bucky and what looked to be Captain America holding cactus tacos and smiling. 

James Barnes: Sam loves the 🌵🌮!  

James Barnes: 🌮 just means taco, right?

She smiled, despite the tears and replied:

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: No, ask Sam. 

A few minutes went by before Bucky replied. 

James Barnes: 🤦🏻WTF?!

Inez let out a chuckle, her spirit slightly lifting as she imagined what Sam Wilson, the Captain America, had said to Bucky. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Thanks

James Barnes: For the recommendation?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Sure

James Barnes: What are you in the mood for next?

You. She sighed, wishing he was here right now so she could see the twinkle in his blue eyes, or trace the shape of his smile with her finger.  

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Surprise me.

James Barnes: 😄 Got it!

Chapter Text

“Wow! You did this all by yourself, Sarge?” David asked as he walked into the rec room. 

Bucky clipped his hammer back onto his work belt and began to descend down the ladder. “Yeah, just about done too.”

“Mrs. Collins will be thrilled! She hated those cabinets. She said it made this place look like a run down motel.”

“And now it looks just like a regular motel,” he quipped as he stepped off the ladder. “What can I do for you, David?”

“Looks like a door is jammed in the physical therapy ward. Can you go take a look?” 

“Sure.”

A few minutes later, David and Bucky were standing in front of a door that was now hanging off its hinges. “How did this happen?” Bucky asked as he leaned in to take a closer look.

“Someone slammed it shut yesterday. Looks like the hinges finally had enough.”

“They are older than you, so yeah it makes sense they gave out.” Bucky set down his toolbox near the door and got down on his knees. “Did someone have a bad day?”

“Callaghan and Torres got into it yesterday.”

Bucky froze. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. I just heard Torres tearing into Callaghan about something before seeing her storm out.” David crossed his arms. “She’s been stomping the halls since last Monday. I don’t get what her problem is. I have half a mind to report her to HR.”

“Don’t!” 

David raised an eyebrow.

“What I mean is…” Bucky opened his toolbox. “Relocation is hard. People have different ways to deal with the move.”

“Like breaking doors?”

“This thing was on its last leg. Just give her a break, okay?”

“Fine.” David uncrossed his arms. “But she’s a doctor; I hope she treats her patients a lot better than the doors in this place.”

“This may take a bit. I’ll find you when I’m done.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“Thanks, Sarge.”

After thirty minutes of trying to reattach the hinges, Bucky gave up. The screws were too worn and the hinges were almost rusted over. He stood up, tossing his screwdriver in the box, and tried to move the door, when someone pushed the door towards him, getting his right hand caught between the door and frame. “Fuck!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Sarge!” Joaquín rushed to pull the door back, freeing Bucky’s hand.

Bucky looked down, a nasty red gash that went the length of his palm was already starting to bleed. “It’s alright,” he grumbled. 

“You should get that looked at,” Joaquín said as he pushed the door against the frame.

“It’s fine.”

“That looks deep. It might need stitches.”

Bucky huffed. “Fine. Just do me a favor and put my tools away.”

“Sure thing.”

Bucky grabbed a small towel as he walked out of the physical therapy room and towards the small walk-in clinic. As usual, the waiting room was full to the brim with soldiers with a variety of ailments, from runny noses to broken bones.  Once he checked in, he looked around, searching for a place to sit, until he found a free seat tucked away in the small corner. Almost no one looked up or his way as he made his way to his seat. Once he sat down, he leaned back and did his best to settle in. He knew it was going to be a long wait. Hours went by, how many he wasn’t sure, until someone called his name.

“James Barnes!”

The room went quiet and almost everyone turned to look at him as he stood up. He could feel every eye on him as he followed the nurse through the double doors leading to the exam rooms. 

There was a reason he requested to work on the other side of the VA campus: he hated hospitals. He hated the long, white halls of the med unit that were always eerily silent, and the fluorescent lights that always flickered above him, giving him a slight headache. He followed the nurse into a small exam room and did his best to listen, but their voice began to fade away. The sight of the exam bed made his body tense up. 

“Doctor should be in shortly.”

Bucky turned to the nurse, giving him a slight nod in acknowledgement. Once the door closed, he walked over to the chair beside the computer station and took a seat, doing his best to distract his mind by reading the numerous posters tacked onto the wall. Once he was done with that, he pulled out his phone, hoping for a new text from Inez, but found none. He was tempted to text her, ask her about her day, anything to get her to talk to him and provide a soothing distraction, but his fingers started to shake. He suddenly felt pathetic, needy even. So he put his phone away, not wanting to abuse his new found, budding friendship with Inez, even if just a simple text from her could brighten his day. 

“Sergeant Barnes.”

Bucky looked up to see a young doctor who looked like he was barely out of med school looking over his file. “I’m Dr. Pak. So, what brings you in today?”

Bucky unwrapped the towel off his hand and held it up. “Had an accident while fixing a door.”

“Ouch.” Dr. Pak set down his chart on the counter and pumped some hand sanitizer from the dispenser. “Can you take a seat on the table?”

Bucky looked at the table; the fake brown leather sent a chill through him. The thought of laying down and being strapped to it… he shook his head. It’s 2025; I’m in Brooklyn, New York; the war is over; Steve is gone, but I’m still here.

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“I’m fine here, thanks.”

Dr. Pak raised an eyebrow. “I need to perform a proper exam before I can treat the wound. It’s best to do it on the table.”

Bucky got up, grabbed the back of the chair with his left hand and dragged the chair over to the exam table, sitting back down and placing his hand on the fake brown leather. Dr. Pak looked him over, opening his mouth as if to protest but one look from Bucky made him close his mouth. Bucky looked up at the ceiling as Dr. Pak began his examination, doing his best to ignore the pain as Dr. Pak poked around the wound. 

“This is going to need some stitches. I’m going to grab a suture kit. I’ll be right back.” 

“Fuck,” Bucky growled the moment the door closed behind Dr. Pak. He should have just grabbed the first aid kit and taken care of the wound himself. He still remembered his first aid training, he could have sewn this papercut up. Why the fuck did he listen to Torres? His knee began to bounce as his nerves were starting to fry. Having his wounds treated in the field was fine, but being confined to a small room made holding back the memories of the med unit he woke up in after he was captured hard to hold back.

Dr. Pak soon came back and began to work on his hand, but the smell of alcohol was too much, and he could feel his body begin to tremble. 

“Are you alright Sergeant Barnes?”

“Yeah,” he said through clenched teeth.

“If the pain is too much, I can numb the area more.”

“It’s fine.”

“But you’re shaking.”

“I’m just cold.”

Dr. Pak pulled his hand away and looked down at Bucky. “You are clearly not comfortable. I can go grab more lidocaine and–”

“Just hurry up, will ya? I want to get the hell out of here.” And run back to the recreation room to hide away until he could regain control of his mind.

“Alright,” Dr. Pak said curtly, as he sat back down to resume his work. 

Bucky closed his eyes as the voices of those doctors began to echo in his head. He did his best to ignore them. He knew if he focused on them for just a second, they’d take over–they’d strap him down to that table and pump poison through his veins. He’d scream, but they wouldn’t stop. No amount of fighting or begging ever made them stop. It’s 2025; I’m in Brooklyn, New York; the war is over; Steve is gone, but I’m still here.

Another smell assaulted his nose. The sharp sting of antiseptic disrupted the haze of memories, letting another, far more comforting memory breakthrough. The med bay hallway always smelled of antiseptic, but the moment Sophia was within arms reach, the scent of her perfume, rose with a hint of citrus, would overtake him, and he'd forget about everything but her. He could almost feel her pressed into his chest, her arms wrapped around his neck as she lavished him with light kisses. His knee finally stopped moving and the voices stopped. Lost in the memory of Sophia, he didn’t notice as the needle punctured through his skin. 

“All done.” Dr. Pak announced a few minutes later. 

He opened his eyes and looked down to see the wound stitched up.

“I just need to give you a tetanus shot, and we’ll get you out of here.”

“Thanks doc.”

For the rest of the work day, Bucky tried not to indulge in the memory of Sophia he used to distract his mind while he got patched up. He even kept opening his phone to check for another message from Inez, but found none. He was in a pretty sour mood by the time he got home and finally coaxed his body to lay down to sleep. Guilt roiled through him, he used her memory to numb his pain. And what scared him was just how addicting it was. He did his best to think of anything else besides Sophia; baseball, the endless list of things that needed to be fixed at the VA, even the mission details Sam had sent him earlier in the week but nothing worked to distract him. Unable to hold back her memory any longer, he closed his eyes and gave in.  

--------------------------

It could take up to two weeks to get to the next HYDRA base and back, Steve had told him, and that was the generous, if-everything-went-right estimate. Since that first night in the hospital storage room, Bucky had been unable to be separated from Sophia for more than a few days before he started to feel like he would go mad. The ache of missing her made him sink into a foul mood the boys liked to tease him relentlessly about. It became a ritual of sorts, to spend his night before a mission with Sophia, touching and coaxing pleasure from her to stockpile the memory of her to get him through those lonely nights. Afterwards, they would have a few precious moments to talk about anything but the mission or the possibility that Bucky might not return, before he had to walk her back to her dorm. It was never enough time, and it left him always wanting more. So, the thought of leaving this time for two weeks drove him to do something drastic, mad even. 

Bucky was nervous since he had never executed a strategic maneuver quite like this. He did all he could not to cross his fingers behind his back as he awaited the shift change. Minutes seemed to morph into hours as he watched nurses and doctors buzz around the med bay through the windowed doors, but he remained stationed across from them, hidden in the shadows. Finally, and right on schedule, Sophia opened the back door of the med bay and walked directly into Bucky's waiting arms. The smell of antiseptic followed her out the door and clung to her uniform. The sterile metallic scent of the antiseptic was overwhelming, and he couldn’t help but want to get her out of her clothes and smelling like him, instead.

He smoothed her hair over her temple, placing the strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her head. He relished the feel of her soft skin on his calloused fingers and the way she shuddered at his touch. He didn't think he could ever grow tired of touching her.

"Mmm, hello you." Sophia turned her beautiful flushed face toward Bucky and smiled sweetly before leaning forward and lowering her full lashes, inviting him to meet her halfway and claim her full lips. He leaned down to meet her, addicted to the way she threaded her fingers through his hair and sunk into his embrace, their bodies falling into place, fitting perfectly. Right where she should always be. While he would normally have taken advantage of the relative privacy of the dark walkway to steal more kisses, he had a better destination in mind tonight.

He pulled back and cupped Sophia's cheek in his large hand. She immediately leaned into his touch, taking a deep breath. He could see that she had had an exhausting day, but her smile was peaceful. He momentarily tamped down his own desires, overwhelmed by the urge to ease any and all that ailed her, and he knew deep in that moment he would do anything, sacrifice anything for this woman.

"Let me walk you back to your bunk."

Sophia looked a little disappointed, but she still gave him a bright smile as she took his arm as they strolled toward the Women's Army Corps dorms.

As he had every night he possibly could since their first date, he stopped in front of her door and kissed her senseless. He held her soft, warm body in his arms, keeping her snug against his chest, breathing her in. Reluctantly, he let her pull away and turn to her door. He trailed his hands down her arms comfortingly as she pulled out her key and turned the doorknob. Sophia opened the door and stepped inside, turning to Bucky. And again, as always, she leaned in to kiss his cheek and said, "Goodnight, James."

But unlike all other times, Bucky followed after her, closing the door behind him and turning the lock. Her eyes flew open wide and she gasped "James, are you insane? Barbie will be back any minute."

He slowly stalked toward her, where she had stopped near what he presumed was her bunk. "I wouldn't be too sure about that," he said in a dark, smooth voice, confidence beginning to fill him to the brim. 

Sophia frowned. "Why?" Understanding suddenly dawned on her face, her shapely eyebrows raising. "What did you do, James?" she asked, her amber eyes lighting with that fire he had come to both fear and love.

He put his hands up in defense, moving slowly toward her again. "Nothing! But I happened to notice that her schedule was changed today, so you have the bunk to yourself all night."

Her eyes narrowed, but she didn't move as he finally reached her, toe to toe.

"Quite a convenient coincidence, hmm?" he said as he leaned in and nuzzled into her cheek, snaking his hands around the back of her neck. 

She melted into his touch and he watched her face relax and her eyes drift closed. "I don't like special treatment, James," she said softly, the admonishment lessened by the sigh she exhaled that whispered across his lips as he moved to her other cheek, kissing just below her ear.

"Gorgeous, all I want to do is treat you special," he said, and he felt her shiver..

She looked up at him, and he could almost see her mind mulling over if she should push back.

Bucky tried to sway her decision by sweeping his hands from her hips, down to her ass, and up her back–up and down in a soothing, sensual rhythm. 

Sophia bit back a groan before asking."You really did this for us?"

"For you, really," he said and winked. He pulled her collar to the side and kissed a wet trail to her collarbone.

"What do you mean?" she asked breathlessly.

"This is all about you, Sophie." He brought his hands up to her hair and took the pins out of her hat, tossing it to the floor. Bucky threaded his fingers through her thick tresses and Sophia closed her eyes and moaned softly.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked.

"Mmmm."

He gripped her neck and hair, turning her face up to his. "Please tell me you want this."

"I do," she breathed. But then her gaze turned as cold as she could make it, even while her breath caught and her eyes drifted to his lips. "But don't think you're off the hook for this," she said. "Barbie is never going to let me hear the end of it."

Bucky went still, he hadn't thought of that. "This–shit, this isn't going to be a huge problem, is it?"

Sophia trailed her fingers to the drab tie around his neck, slowly unraveling it. "Don’t worry. I can handle her, but I might have to cover a shift or two.”

She yanked on his tie and kissed him hard, plunging her sweet tongue into his mouth. He sucked and bit at her lips and held her as close as possible, crushing her curves into his hard planes. He bent over her, devouring her with abandon as she clutched to his chest. 

She pushed him away and stepped out of her shoes and he did the same, both of them stumbling in their haste. He reached for her again as she threw her arms around his neck and jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. He barked out a laugh and she giggled, a beautiful blush staining her chest and neck. He leaned in to kiss her, trying to fuse their bodies together as she threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him to her.

Bucky turned them around and sat on her bunk with her still wrapped around his waist. She quickly moved to straddle his lap and continued to unravel his tie, slowly sliding it out of his collar. She wrapped it between her hands and bit her lip, but he placed his hands over hers. 

"Fuck, I love what you're thinking, but not right now." He kissed her nose and unwound the tie from her delicate wrists and shoved it in his trousers pocket. "I have other plans for you tonight." 

Undeterred, Sophia unbuttoned his shirt while Bucky ran his fingers along the exposed skin of her neck, his lips trailing in the wake of his touch. "You're so warm and so fucking soft," he growled into her skin.

She spread the front of his shirt, exposing him to her, and she ran her hot hands down his chest. His breaths heaved and he shivered as her nails left bright red marks on his pale skin. 

"Fuck!" he nearly shouted. He snatched her wrists and brought them behind her back, holding them both in place in one of his large hands while the other began unbuttoning her dress. "Maybe I shouldn't have put that tie away, hmm? Are you going to behave?" 

Her pupils had gone large, her eyes were nearly black as she took in rushed shallow breaths. She flashed him a wicked grin before licking her lips. "Do I have to?" she teased.

Bucky reached the final button and peeled her dress open like he was unwrapping a present, making him groan as he pushed her dress off her shoulders, bringing the straps of her bra with it. He kissed every inch of skin he revealed, finally able to breathe in her heady rose and citrus scent. He buried his face between her breasts while he brought his free hand down and kneaded her hips, teasing the edge of her panties. "That depends," he mumbled into her soft, tan skin. "Would you rather be good and let me give you what you want?" and he licked and sucked her nipple through the sheer lace of her bra. "Or are you going to misbehave? I don’t mind teasing you until you’re begging for it, gorgeous." He continued to hold her wrists as he lifted his other hand up.

Sophia shrieked as he brought his hand down on her ass, hard. The crack of palm against flesh echoed in the small space. She stared at him for a moment, her eyes wide with shock and her face as bright red as her ass was sure to be. Bucky sat as still as possible, his hand covering where he smacked her to soothe the sting. That was one hell of a gamble, but Bucky was familiar with high stakes. It was time to see if it paid off. He brought his lips within a breath of hers and whispered, "So what do you want?"

"I want to be yours," she breathed, before she planted a desperate, searing kiss. Lips and teeth and tongues clashed. Sophia squirmed on his lap while Bucky dragged her shirt dress the rest of the way down her arms to her wrists, keeping her wrists bound behind her. He pushed her back onto the bunk and covered her with his body, leaning over her.  He could see she was frustrated, helpless with her arms beneath her, trapped in her clothes and completely at his mercy. The sight of the fire lighting in her amber eyes sent a jolt down to his cock. 

With both of his hands free, Bucky shoved her slip from her hips to her waist and took in the sight before him. She wore soft pink, delicate, lace panties dressed over her garter belt and his hungry eyes traced the straps down to where they hooked to the tops of her stockings. He brushed his fingers over her impossibly soft thighs to where they bulged above the nylon. Sophia rubbed her legs together and groaned in frustration at his touch. He leaned in once more to kiss her deeply, wanting to overwhelm her the way she did to him every time she touched him. 

“Sophie, baby, you are,” he said as he snaked his hands up her hips and gripped the sides of her panties. “And I’m all yours,” He pulled hard and tore her panties off and she cried out, eyes flashing and breaths coming in gulps. “But you gotta be quiet, gorgeous. Don’t want to get caught,” he whispered. 

Bucky stuffed the panties into his pocket along with his tie and he smoothed his hands down her hips, snapping her garters against her thighs, making her gasp. He moved back up her body and worshiped at her luscious breasts, thumbs caressing the sensitive skin underneath and his tongue teasing her nipples to hard peaks. 

“James…” She sighed and huffed and wiggled beneath him, driving him crazy with her impatience. 

“Patience, gorgeous.” He smirked and nipped at her breast while he roughly brought her hips up to rub against his erection, showing her that he was just as frustrated. She moaned and bent herself up into the curve of him. She was a beautiful siren beneath him, tempting him to abandon his plan and ravish her as she deserved. But he wanted to take his time with her, worship every inch of her, coax as many moans, sighs, and pleasure as he could from her. After weeks of rushed meetings, keeping one eye open and dividing his attention between her and when he had to leave, he wanted tonight to simply focus on her and burn each moment into his memory. That thought was enough to harden his resolve as she shoved her perfect bosom in his face and rubbed against his chest and his cock. 

He maneuvered himself behind her, moving them both to their sides, and snaked his left arm under her head. She hummed in pleasure as he trailed his fingers over her hip and pelvis, to the inside of her thigh. So lightly, he brushed the curls covering her sex and he felt her hold her breath, but then he grasped her knee and pulled her top leg over his, holding her in place with his strong arm. Her breasts, belly, and sweet pussy were exposed to the room and he had her caged against his front, held in place by his strong arms. Despite being spread open and vulnerable in this position, she sank into him, trusting him to be in control. 

He softly traced the lines on her hips and belly where her undergarments had been pressing into her flesh and he felt her shiver and tense. “James, please,” she moaned desperately. “I need you to touch me.”

“I am touching you, gorgeous,” he kissed her neck as he brought his left hand up to her breast and his fingers made slow circles around her nipples, touching her everywhere but where she needed. It gave him immense pleasure to watch her beautiful tanned skin break out in goosebumps. 

“But I need more…” she whined. 

“Tell me what you want,” he breathed, his voice low and gravelly, the mounting pressure of her body against his, pressing against his cock had him on the verge of losing all sense. He took a deep breath, pushing back his own desires to focus on her. Bucky brushed his hand over the apex of her thighs and Sophia rolled her head back. 

“I want…” She swallowed and shivered while he continued his attention to her breast. “I want–I want your fingers inside me.” She twisted her head to meet his eyes, and he met her plump lips with a wild, haphazard kiss while his right hand trailed down through her coarse hair. He palmed her possessively to feel the heat of her and to calm down his racing heart while he calculated his next move.

He began to softly curl his fingers through her slick folds, groaning at her wet heat. Bucky nipped at her earlobe and licked down her neck, as he inched closer to her entrance, and then he suddenly pulled away.  

“Aargh,” she growled. He had been too focused on teasing her, that she was able to get her right arm free. Before he could react she grabbed his arm, digging her nails into his skin. 

“Ow!” he shouted. 

She reached back and gripped his chin, “I said I want your fingers inside me, Brooklyn.”

He wrapped his left hand around her jaw and brought them nose to nose as he sank his soaked fingers into her dripping pussy and she moaned. “Yes, ma’am,” he said before he devoured her.

He plunged his tongue deep into her mouth while he curled his fingers in her pussy, pressing against her, thrusting and massaging. She gasped and Bucky looked down to see her pulling at her breast, pinching and teasing her nipple to add to her pleasure. He groaned and throbbed at the sight, pushing his hard length into her ass for some friction. Goddamn, she made him feel like a teenager. She wiggled against him, pushing back and teasing him. “Hmm-mm,” he hummed, backing his hips away, trying desperately to keep from losing control. Every sound and movement she made set his blood on fire. 

She jerked in his arms and he felt her walls contract around his fingers. She was getting closer to her peak and he knew she just needed a little more to send her over the edge. “That’s it, gorgeous,” he whispered into her mouth. “I know you’re close.” He shifted his hand to stroke her faster and more focused on the spot that made her shake in his arms.

“Yes! There!” she screamed. 

“You have to keep it down, Sophie, don’t want someone to hear and ruin our night.” Bucky latched onto her neck to suck bruises into her soft skin, more to keep himself quiet than to mark her, but that was an added bonus. Sophia brought her hand to her mouth but continued to moan loudly through her fingers. Her eyes slid shut and a sweet line of concentration formed between her smooth brows. 

He brought his thumb to her clit, swirling circles as best as he could while continuing to thrust and curl. Sophia let out a deep groan before her body went stiff in his arms. And then he felt her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. Her pussy clamped down hard on his hand and she bucked into his chest while she opened her mouth in a silent scream. He continued to stroke her as she rode the waves of her ecstasy, pulsing and contracting, moaning his name on her sweet kiss-swollen lips.

He released her leg and moved above her, kissing her to swallow her cries and continuing to pet her softly while her pleasure ebbed. When he saw that she had had enough, he removed his hand, helped her free her other arm from her dress and laid down beside her. He pressed her soft body into his as she came back to earth, encasing her in his arms, smiling as she sank into him. He stroked her hair and kissed her eyelids. “You did so good for me, gorgeous,” he whispered into her skin as he smoothed his hands down her fevered skin and held her tight, so tight, to soothe his fear of her floating away.

She opened her eyes and turned back to look at him, eyes shining with both satisfaction and affection. While being away from her for two weeks seemed daunting, this look alone could sustain him until he could return to her arms. The three words that had hung between them rushed forward, almost begging to be released but he swallowed them back. Saying them out loud would make it harder to leave her, again. Maybe when they got back to the states he’d take her somewhere nice and confess everything to her before giving her a-Bucky kissed her before his mind had a chance to finish that fantasy. He didn’t know how long they stayed in that moment, but he wished it could have lasted forever. Her serene smile pulled him back to himself, and despite his cock still straining against his pants, he relaxed. Sophia took a deep breath, closed her warm amber eyes, and tucked her head under his chin with a sigh of contentment. He reached to the floor and grabbed the blanket that had fallen off in their enthusiasm, and draped it over their bodies. Bucky fell into a dreamless sleep in the arms of the woman he loved. Mission accomplished.

--------------------------

Bucky woke before his alarm went off, his heart racing as the memory of Sophia began to fade into the recesses of his mind. He sighed as he felt a deep sense of sorrow at what he lost and the fact that he had buried these memories for so long. While his dreams of Sophia were confusing his current situation, he couldn’t deny how much they provided him comfort. Her memory was soon becoming a reliable narcotic to ease the pain of being alone and out of his time. It was dangerous to rely on Sophia to soothe his soul, he knew the temptation to remain in his dreams was too much. 

Why did his mind have to torture him like this? Why did it choose now to dig up the grave of all the dreams he left behind? Inez, it has to be her, right? He was starting to develop feelings for her, that he was now sure of. So, was this his mind’s way of reminding him of everything he lost and still wanted, or to keep him from moving on? He rubbed his temple as a headache began to build. He closed his eyes but instead of seeing Sophia thoroughly satisfied and twisted in bed sheets he saw Inez. Amber eyes bright as they spoke about their favorite foods and spoke about her job. There was something there he couldn’t help being drawn to. And she was real, living breathing in this life he was slowly becoming accustomed to. 

“You are allowed to start over, Buck. The ones we have lost wouldn’t want us to get stuck in the past because of them.” Sam had told him and he desperately wanted him to be right. The thrill of seeing Inez in a few days finally made him smile as he turned over to go back to sleep. 

--------------------------

“I am not crazy!” Inez shouted.

“Running off into the Mexican jungle because of a dream is pretty fucking crazy.” Her tall, handsome but infuriating boyfriend Marco said as he shook his head. 

“That is not what I said.”

“Well you woke up saying you know where the moon goddess temple is because you saw it in a dream.”

“I figured it out in a dream! My mind used the data I collected and came to a logical conclusion. The location makes sense based on what we know about the clan of moon priestesses and the landscape described in the few texts we just recovered.”

“And you already verified this ‘revelation’?” Marco air quoted that last word, making her blood boil.

“Yes! Where do you think I’ve been all morning?”

“Not in bed, which is where you should be because we’re on vacation.”

“Work retreat for your company.”

“Which you agreed to come to.”

“Because my family insisted,” she crossed her arms. “They are convinced you’re going to propose, but that’s insane! You’re here on business.”

Marco frowned, “They really can’t keep their mouths shut, can they?”

Inez’s eyes went wide in horror as Marco pulled out a small box from his robe pocket and opened it, revealing a princess cut diamond ring. 

“Inez Met-”

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“But why? Why are you doing this now?”

“Because we’ve been together for a while and it just makes sense.”

Inez felt her stomach turn, romance was never Marco’s strong suit. “Right, well I told you I don’t want to even think about settling down until I’m done with my post doc work.”

“I know, but since you have another year left, I figured you can plan the wedding now so we can get married as soon as you’re done and move back home.”

“I’m not going back to Mexico. I’m going to take the teaching position at UCSD once Dr. Alvador retires.”

“But your abuela said–”

“For fuck’s sake! Will you stop listening to her? I’ve told you a dozen times, I am moving to where my work takes me.”

“And how will we raise a family if you’re not at home?”

“You told me you didn’t want to get married, and now all of the sudden…wait. Did your mama put you up to this?”

Marco shrugged. “Both our families want this, everyone says we’re the perfect couple, and besides, I’m not getting any younger. I don’t want to be a geriatric dad.”

Inez felt the twisting in her stomach stop and turn into rage. Besides the fact this was the most unromantic proposal she had ever seen or read about, thanks to her love of romance novels, it was obvious Marco didn’t care about what she wanted. All he wanted to do was appease their families and work around his timeline. The initial attraction had worn off only a few months into their relationship and she didn’t care because in the end, it kept her family off her back at weddings and baby showers, and because he was decent in bed. He was old-reliable and provided some comfort when she felt too exhausted from fending off her family. But if she was going to shackle herself to him, she at least needed to know one thing. “And because you love me, right?” 

“Inez,” Marco let out an exasperated breath. “Why would I ask you if I didn’t?”

“But you never say it, you just assume I know.”

“Haven’t I given you everything you’ve asked for?”

“I didn’t ask for the purses, clothes, or jewelry. The only thing I’ve asked for is for you to respect my decision and…” She sucked in a sharp breath and a pain shot through her chest, echoing in the space the loss of her parents had left behind. The space she hoped Marco would fill in time, but all he managed to do is remind her how much she still craved to be loved–truly loved–for who she was, and not for who they wanted her to be. “All I ever wanted was for someone to love me. Not my last name or family, just me.” She felt the tears stream down her face, but she didn’t move to stop them. She was done holding them back to make others comfortable.  

Marco walked over to her and put his hands on her arms. “Golondrina, you know how much you mean to me.”

Each word felt like a punch in the gut. Even now, with her heart breaking, he couldn’t say it. “Be honest with me Marco. Do you want to marry me because it would make your mother happy? I can’t go into this marriage believing a lie, so please, just tell me the truth.”

Marco looked down. “We make sense together. And I know with time we’ll eventually…” he sighed.

“Love each other?”

“Maybe.”

She pulled away. “That isn’t what I want. I don’t want you to be with me because you feel obligated to. I don’t care what your mama or my abuela want. It's our lives, not theirs! We both deserve to be with someone we love and who loves us back.”

Marco looked up, eyes brimming with tears that took Inez by surprise. “I wish it was that simple. You got lucky. Your abuela let you study what you wanted, let you indulge your passion for history. But I couldn't, I can't. Familia comes first.”

“Not this time. I won’t give up my chance at real happiness to appease them.”

Marco took a deep breath, schooling his face into a frown. “She’ll cut you off if you don’t come back. You know that.”

“I don’t care! I already have job offers in San Diego, San Francisco, and even Chicago! I don’t want their money. I’ll live in a studio apartment and eat instant ramen for the rest of my life if it means I get to live my life the way I want to!”

“You’re making a mistake, Inez.”

“Maybe, but it is mine to make. If my family wants to cut me off, so be it. But I am not going to shackle myself to a man who doesn’t love me.”

“ Chingada madre , why do you have to be so difficult?!”

Inez walked over to the living room table and began to pack up her laptop into her travel bag. “Well, I’m no longer your problem. I’m sure you can find someone to be the dutiful wife you and your mama always wanted.” 

“Maybe, but who will put up with your insane theories and dreams, huh? You really think you have some kind of special connection to our ancestors? Those stories were just folktales old, bitter brujas tell to scare children. No academic in their right mind will take you seriously!” 

“Then I’ll find someone to fund my work. Our stories deserve to be recorded and told, our people’s history has been lost for too–”

“Will you stop with the whole, you’re doing this for our gente thing? Your obsession with history stems from some childish notion that somehow knowing our past will tell you more about your parents. It won’t. Your family told you all you need to know.”

“Exactly! I know there is more, I can feel it!”

“There you go, sounding like your tia Chel when she’s had too much to drink!”

Inez paused stuffing her bag, a small smile crossed her lips at the memory of her favorite aunt, the only one who indulged her thirst for knowledge and filled her head with stories of their ancestors. The pain of losing her only a few short years ago still stung, but she was glad Chel got a chance to see her be accepted into graduate school. “Maybe. And like her, I’d rather die alone then be married to a fucking mama’s boy.” Inez said through gritted teeth as she looped her bag over her shoulder. She began to march towards the door when Marco grabbed her arm.

“Inez, wait. Let's just take a moment to think about this. If you leave now, you can never come back.”

“That’s the point.”

“I know I’m not what you wanted either, but I do care about you. We’ve been friends since we were teenagers. That has to mean something.”

Inez turned to Marco to find worry etched on his face. “I care about you too. Enough to want you to be happy. I am not going to make you happy, Marco.”

Marco finally let go of Inez’s arm and she resumed her walk to the door. Marco rocked back on his heels, fists firmly planted to his sides, but before she could reach the other side of their spacious suite, he rushed after her. “You’re going to regret this!”

Inez turned to face him before she turned the doorknob. “I have, for the last two years!”

Marco’s face went red and she braced herself for another tirade. But before Marco could speak, his eyes went wide in horror and he collapsed onto the floor. Inez dropped her bags and rushed over to him, grabbing him by the shoulders and trying to lift him up. “Marco?! What's wrong?!”

“I, I don’t know. I don’t feel good…” 

“I’m going to call for a doctor.” She fumbled to grab her phone out of her pocket, but Marco grabbed her arm.

“Inez, I’m scared.”

“It’s going to be alright.” She wrenched her arm out of his grip and began to dial 911.

“Tell her I love her,” Marco whispered.

“How is 911 busy?!”

“Inez, please.”

She turned back to Marco, his eyes now closed as a tear began to stream down his face. “Tell Christina and my parents I love them, and I’m sorry for…” Before he could finish, Marco turned to dust in her arms. Shocked, Inez sat back onto the floor, her phone still on hold with 911. Who the fuck is Christina?

“Are you alright?”

Inez almost jumped out of her seat at the sound of Becca’s voice. She turned to find her friend standing at the entrance of her office. “Yeah, why?”

“I called your name three times,” Becca said as she walked in and took a seat in front of her desk. 

“Sorry, I was just focused on my interview notes.” 

“Right.” 

“Is there a reason you're in my office?”

“Someone is in a bad mood.”  

“Actually yeah, I am.”

Becca frowned. “Well what I’m about to tell you isn’t going to make you feel any better.” 

“What is it?”

Becca sighed. “Your requests to the National Archive went through, but there is a backlog. It may take until next year to get the files you requested.”

“Fuck.” Inez rubbed her temple. “Anything else?”

“Nope.”

Inez picked up the box and opened it to reveal an gold bracelet with a moon engraved on a pendant. “Can you process an artifact for me?”

“Sure.”

Inez pushed the box towards Becca. “Pretty, are those Aztec markings?”

“Yes, let me know if it’s authentic.”

“Where did you get it?”

“It was a gift.”

“From your mystery man?”

“No, it’s from my ex.”

“Oh, wow. I’ve never had an ex send me jewelry.”

“Yeah, well, he fucked up big time.”

“Is his apology working?”

“No.” She picked up the card with Marco’s note:

I need to speak with you and explain what happened. Call me, please.

She rolled her eyes a nd tossed the card in the trash. “Once you have this authenticated, have it cataloged as a donation from Marco Cortez.”

“Your ex is a Cortez?! From Cortez Import and Export?!”

Inez shrugged, making Becca shoot out of her seat. “He’s the most eligible billionaire since the blip brought him back.”

“You want his number?”

Becca’s eyes lit up, but stopped short of accepting when she noticed the annoyed look on Inez’s face. “Wait, what’s the catch?”

“He’s a mama’s boy.”

“I’ll think about it.” Becca grabbed the box. “Dinner tonight, I will not take no for an answer. You have so much to catch me up on.”

Inez looked over her friend's face. She knew there was no weaseling out of this dinner, not after she had pushed it off for two weeks. And besides, it was nice to have someone to talk to. Despite being surrounded by so many cousins, Inez had grown up feeling alone, longing for another woman to call a friend. Becca, a few years younger and full of optimism, had befriended her almost as soon as she arrived at the museum, telling Inez how exciting it was to have another Latina work in the department with her. And Inez couldn’t blame her, their leadership department was mostly made up of older white men, while the few post docs and interns had yet to represent the rich tapestry of the various cultures they studied.  “Okay. La Cocina?”

“Perfect, love those cactus tacos. See you at five.”

Chapter Text

“Marco Cortez, spill!”

Inez had barely sat down before Becca laid into her. She immediately turned to a passing waiter and ordered two margaritas; tonight called for shit tequila. She turned back to Becca who had both arms on the table with her hands under her chin, eagerly waiting for her answer. “Fine,” she took a deep breath. “Childhood friends, pushed together by our families. He proposed, but I broke up with him right before he got blipped.”

“You were engaged?!”

“I never said yes.”

“Okay, I get running for the hills because he’s a mama’s boy, but he's also so hot and loaded!”

“To be fair, so is my family.”

“Wait, are you like a secret billionaire?”

“No, I’m not worth that much. I only hold a small stake in my family's company.”

“So, millionaire?”

“I have enough.”

“That’s something a rich person would say.”

Inez rolled her eyes. “Long story short, Marco is trying to get back into my good graces by sending me Aztec artifacts.” 

“Fuck, thats is kind of hot.”

“Are you sure you don’t want his number?” Inez crossed her arms.

Becca sat back. “Tell me more about his mom.”

“Really?”

“I’m just kidding, sort of. So how bad was this guy?”

The waiter mercifully finally came back with their drinks and Inez immediately took a large gulp, letting the sweetness drown the bitterness of bottom shelf tequila. Once the alcohol began to dull her senses and loosen her tongue, Inez purged all the hurt and frustration she’d been carrying for the last five years. She told Becca how she’d let Marco mold her younger twenty something self into the perfect girlfriend. How she almost gave up her dream of getting her PhD because Marco had hated the idea of her being in school for another five years. How she tried desperately to be his everything while he barely gave her anything and made her feel like she wasn’t good enough. How she even eventually settled and accepted the fact that she might never do better than Marco, that he was at least a warm body to hold during long and lonely nights. How he never told her he loved her, but used his dying breath to proclaim love for his parents and a woman named Christina. How she met Christina at the funeral his parents held for him and she was told not to make a scene. How she thought she was too broken to be loved and gave up and buried herself in her work.

That is until I met James. She finished off her second margarita and sat back in her chair, finally taking a break to catch her breath, and looked up at a very stunned Becca. 

“Holy shit girl, what the fuck?” Becca said once the shock wore off.

“I know, he’s my Jake Gyllenhaal.” Inez lamented into her second margarita.

“With a dash of Matty Healy,” 

Inez pointed and nodded vigorously. “Exactly!” 

Becca let out a loud, drunken laugh. “Please tell me your mystery man is way better than money bags.”

Inez let out a wistful sigh, “Yeah he is. He’s amazing and so fucking hot. I don’t know how much longer I can keep my hands off him.” She downed the rest of her drink, hoping it would cool the heat that was starting to travel from her navel to her core at the thought of Bucky.

Becca smiled, “Are you finally going to tell me who he is?”

Inez let out another long sigh. “James.” God, she loved the way his name felt on her lips. 

“James Perkins in accounting?”

Inez shook her head. “Barnes.”

“Barnes? Where have I heard that name?” Becca’s eyes suddenly went wide as the realization hit her. “The Winter Soldier?!”

Inez looked over to Becca, eyes aflame with indignation. “Don’t call him that! He’s a hero and veteran! What HYDRA did to him was horrible!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” Becca ran her fingers through her dark brown hair. “You’re dating an Avenger? That’s insane.”

“Ha, I wish.”

“Well, he’s taking you out again this Saturday, isn’t he?”

Inez called for another drink by shaking her empty glass at their waiter. “Yeah but he’s just being nice.”

“Bullshit. He’s an Avenger, I’m sure he has women throwing themselves at him all the time, but yet he is choosing to spend his time with you.”

Inez frowned. Becca was right, Bucky was famous thanks to the fight with Thanos. He probably had tons of women after him. How could she compete?

“I know that look. Don’t you dare put yourself down. You are fucking gorgeous, and if he can’t see it then he’s worse than money bags.”

Inez took her third margarita from the waiter. “I know, but I’ve dropped so many fucking hints and nothing. Maybe he just wants a friend.” 

“With benefits, I hope,” Becca said before taking another sip of her first margarita. “I mean, from the pictures I’ve seen, I would definitely want to take that ride. Do you think he can do anything special with that arm of his?”

“Like what?”

“Maybe it has some kind of built-in functions,” Becca bit her lip. “Like a vibra-”

“Becca!”

She narrowed her eyes. “It’s not like you weren’t thinking the same thing.”

Inez rolled her eyes and did her best to ignore Becca’s suggestion of what Bucky’s arm could do before her mind got carried away. “He’s been through so much, I don’t want to push him. If he’s interested, I can be patient.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he’s worth it. And if he’s not, I don’t mind having him in my life as a friend.” She swallowed down the knot that formed in her throat. “There is something about him that makes me feel so,” she searched her now inebriated mind for the right word. “Safe.”

“Safe?”

“Yeah, like I can be myself around him. And he’s so funny and warm. It took him a bit to open up but when he does, he’s so damn charming.”

“I’ve seen you date some questionable people in the year I’ve known you.”

“Those were mostly hook ups.” 

“Maybe so, but none had you all starry-eyed like this.”

Becca was right. No one she had ever dated had ever made her feel like this. Not even when Marco tried to be romantic or gave her attention did she ever feel so seen as she did with Bucky. The realization was a bit terrifying, if not thrilling. She had given up on finding anything close to what she spent so long reading about, but she was afraid to call it what it could be. She shifted back her focus to her smiling, smug friend. “Do you still want Marco’s number?”

“Nah, I’ll pass. Does he have any brothers or cousins?”

Inez shook her head. “Ernesto wasn’t that bad, but their mother is a nightmare. Trust me, you’re better off staying away from the Cortez family.”

“Fine, then maybe your super soldier can put in a good word for me with Thor. That man is a god.”

“Literally.” 

They both broke out laughing. Once she gained control of herself, Inez sighed. “Thanks Becca. I needed this.”

“Anytime, hun.” Becca said as she flagged down their waiter. While Becca placed their order, Inez took out her phone and opened her text app. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: My friend has a crush on your coworker.

James Barnes: Oh really, which one?”

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Thor

James Barnes: Of course. 🙄

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Jealous, Barnes?

James Barnes: Do you have a crush on him too?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: NO!

James Barnes: Then no, I’m not jealous 😉

Inez giggled like a school girl, catching Becca’s attention. “What are you doing?”

“Texting James. I told him you like his coworker,” Inez hiccupped, now fully in her cups. 

Becca shot out of her chair and tried to pull the phone out of Inez's grip. “Are you crazy?!”

“What? You said you wanted his number.” 

“I was joking!” Becca gave another hard tug, but Inez pulled back, her finger accidently hitting the facetime button. 

“He’s a really nice guy, he'll get you Thor’s number,” Inez hiccuped again. 

“She’s right.” Bucky said calmly. 

Becca looked down to see James Bucky Barnes staring up at her from Inez’s phone. “Sergeant Barnes!” 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “You’re not Inez.”

“I'm her friend, Becca.”

“Nice to meet you Becca. So, why do you have Inez’s phone and is that her laughing in the background?”

Becca turned to see Inez laughing wildly, shooting her friend a nasty look before turning back to a confused Bucky. “Umm yeah. Sorry, she called you by accident.”

“I figured.”

“Becca give it back, let me talk to him,” Inez whined. 

“Absolutely not! You’re drunk!”

“She is?” Bucky asked.

Becca turned back to Bucky. “She had a rough day.”

The smile on Bucky’s face evaporated. “What happened? Is she hurt?”

“No, nothing like that,” Becca assured him. “Just something happened at work.”

“Yeah, that jerk can’t keep his nose out of my fucking business!” Inez exclaimed before she reached for her drink. 

“Okay, that’s enough tequila for you,” Becca said as she pulled the margarita out of Inez’s hand, prompting Inez to let out a frustrated huff. 

“Good call,” Bucky added. “Can you do me a favor? Make sure she gets something to eat and text me when you get her home?”

Becca turned back to Bucky. “Why?”

“I just want to make sure she gets home safe.”

“Awww,” Inez said before she let out another hiccup. 

“That is really sweet, actually, and old fashioned,” Becca said with a smile.

Bucky shrugged. “Well I am pretty old.”

Becca chuckled. “True. Alright, I’ll text you when I drop her off at her place.”

“Thanks Becca. And if I see Thor, I’ll put in a good word for ya.” He gave her a wink.

“No need,” she turned the phone to face Inez, who was taking a large drink of water to quell her hiccups. “Say goodnight Inez.”

“Oh, are you in bed?” she giggled wildly.

Becca turned the phone back before Inez could say anything incriminating. “Good night,  Sergeant Barnes.”

“Good night Becca, Good night Inez,” Bucky called out. 

“Ask him about his arm!” Inez said way too loudly.

Becca ended the call before Bucky had a chance to respond and turned to her drunk friend. “You are so going to regret this in the morning.”

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The morning sun crept through the sheer curtains of Inez’s studio apartment, eventually making its way to Inez’s face, rising her from a fitful slumber. She was thankful Becca had made her eat her weight in tacos and dessert, which helped her hangover since the fatty food soaked up most of the alcohol in her system. After initially passing out after changing into her silk nightgown, she awoke in the middle of the night, her anxiety replaying the memory of Marco’s botched proposal, the purging of all the hurt she carried to Becca, and her call to Bucky. She groaned, praying that her drunken call was nothing but a dream. Unable to stand the morning rays in her face any longer, she grabbed her phone and turned to her side, texting Becca that she would be late coming into work today. She needed a few more hours of sleep, or at least rest, if only to get a hold of her anxiety. 

An hour passed, tossing and turning as she tried to fall back asleep, when someone knocked at her door. “For fuck’s sake,” she grumbled as she threw on a robe. “I told you I was going to be late, Becca!” She threw the door open to find Bucky holding two coffees and a bag of pastries.

“I figured you would be staying in late.” He gave her a charming smile.

“What,” she rubbed her eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I brought you breakfast. Are you going to invite me in?”

She looked down at herself, suddenly wishing she was wearing a bra and had brushed her teeth. “Umm sure.” She moved to let Bucky in before closing the door. “I’m going to freshen up. I’ll be right back.” Inez flew out of the living room, but not before Bucky got a good look at what she was wearing. 

He couldn’t help but notice how her robe clung to her body, or how short it was, letting a sliver of her pink silk nightgown peak from underneath. Or the fact that she was clearly not wearing a bra by the way her hardened nipples strained against the silk robe. He cleared his throat to keep his mind from wandering, and walked over to the couch and took a seat. 

He looked around the small studio apartment. If there was ever a place that embodied everything he knew that made up Inez, it was her apartment. The walls were covered in prints that ranged from ancient Aztec carvings to Mexican folk art, and pictures of her smiling in front of mesoamerican pyramids and lush South American landscapes. Tucked in the corner was a small bar with a record player next to it, as well as a display of various Taylor Swift vinyl records mounted on the wall above it. He smiled. Despite the advances in technology, it seemed vinyl  records were still around, meaning people still saw value in old things, like him. 

The space that served as her bedroom had a bed sandwiched between two large bookcases filled to the brim with academic books and novels, mostly romance from the titles he could read from across the room, and various trinkets she most likely collected during her travels. He finally let his eyes wander to the queen size bed and bit back a sigh. It looked so warm and inviting. The sheets were a crisp white and the comforter was a deep shade of purple with a large floral pattern. He could still see the outline of where her body had laid, and he wondered what it would be like to get tangled in the plush comforter with her in his arms.

“I can’t believe you brought me breakfast,” Inez said as she walked back into the living room, hair up in a messy bun and dressed in a pair of jeans and a dusty rose sweater that went past her hips. She took a seat beside him. “Did I text you to come over last night?”

“No, but I figured you could use coffee to help with your hangover.”

Inez’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, I did call you last night! I had hoped that was a dream.”

“You dream about me?”

Inez’s cheeks flushed. “This is so embarrassing.” She buried her face in her hands. 

“It’s alright. You had a rough day at work and needed to let off some steam. I get it.”

Inez looked up. “What did Becca tell you?”

“Not much, really.”

“Oh, thank god.” She picked up the bag of pastries and pulled out a large chocolate croissant. 

“Well, now you have to tell me.” Bucky picked up a coffee and took a sip.

“It’s just job stuff.” She scrambled to remember anything that she could tell Bucky to avoid mentioning Marco. “My requests for records were delayed, again. I won’t get the files until early next year.”

“I could ask Sam and see if he can reach out to his friends in DC.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind, really.”

Inez smiled. “Thanks.”

Bucky grabbed the other coffee and handed it to her. “Here, this should help.”

Inez took a sip of the sweet but potent latte, letting the coffee burn off the lingering alcohol that clung to her throat. “You really didn’t have to come over this early.”

“I don’t mind, you’re on my way to work. Besides, I was worried about you.”

Inez pulled her coffee away from her mouth and turned to Bucky. Concern was clearly etched across his face. Feeling the need to fill the void, she let out a small chuckle. “I know, I’m a mess. I can’t believe I got drunk.” She turned away to avoid seeing pity in his eyes.

“You’re not a mess,” he said softly. “I’m sorry about the files, I know how much your work means to you.”

Oh my god, could you be any more perfect?! “Thanks.” She kept her eyes forward, there was still enough alcohol in her system to short circuit her inhibition and she was afraid she would grab this sweet, thoughtful man and kiss him, maybe even entice him to get back into her bed with her. Control yourself, Inez! She took a deep breath. “This coffee is really good.”

“It’s from my favorite coffee shop.”

“I should add them to my list.”

“Yeah.” Bucky finished his own pastry and watched as Inez slowly woke up, no doubt thanks to the double shot latte, before he asked the question that had haunted him since last night. “So, you had a question about my arm?”

Inez almost choked on her second croissant. “What?”

“Last night, you told Becca to ask me about my arm.” He tried to keep a playful smile on his face, but in truth when he heard Inez shout about his arm, he felt all blood drain from his face. Did she want to see it out of morbid curiosity? Was she repulsed by it? Or even worse, afraid of it?

Inez took a sip of her coffee to push the pastry down her throat and wiped her mouth. She vaguely recalled what Becca had said about Bucky’s arm and the provocative suggestion that it may have functions other than replacing a missing limb. She felt mortified that he had heard that and scrambled to think of a valid reason for her drunken inquiry. She felt Bucky shift in his seat, making her turn. Bucky’s smile began to waver and the realization that he was worried about what she meant by that question cut through her. “Oh, um, I was wondering why you still wear gloves all the time.” She gave him a small smile. “I mentioned to Becca that you kept it on your left hand while we ate tacos. I bet that can get annoying.”

“Oh,” he looked down. “It's so people don’t recognize me. I cut my hair, and that helped, but a metal hand is a dead give away.” 

“Because people will mob you for being an Avenger?”

“So that I don’t scare people,” he said quietly.

“I’m not afraid of you.” She inched closer to him. 

Bucky looked up and turned to Inez, shock evident across his face. 

She bumped against his shoulder. “So, you don’t have to wear it around me.”

Bucky felt his heart jump into his throat as he followed her gaze down to his hand. He could see by the way she smiled what she was thinking. He took a deep breath and turned to his left, suddenly feeling like he was being asked to strip naked. He slowly pulled off the black leather glove, the moment the air hit his vibranium skin his hand clenched into a fist. 

She knew she said she could be patient, but she had also confessed to Becca how hard it was to keep her hands off of him. But while she felt a tinge of lust run through her, overwhelming gratitude filled her as he made himself vulnerable in front of her. She reached out slowly, afraid any moment he could pull away and leave, but instead he let her place her right hand on his, her small fingers caressing his knuckles. “Can you feel anything?” she asked softly.

The sensation of her soft skin sent a rush of excitement through him. He had never felt something so warm and soft against his metal arm since he lost it. “Yes, well sort of. It’s muted, but I can feel the warmth of your hand.”

Inez smiled. “It’s beautiful.” She traced the lines of gold that outlined his joints. “It reminds me of obsidian. The Aztec used it to make weapons, statues, and even mirrors.”

“Mirrors?” 

“Yes, they believed that obsidian mirrors could reveal hidden truths, communicate with the spirit world, and even predict the future.” She turned his hand over, looking over his palm.

“What do you see?”

She smiled. “Hmmm,” she brought his palm closer to her lap, running her thumb across it, sending another jolt through him. “More drunk calls from someone close to you.”

Bucky chuckled, “Really, and why is that?”

“Because you’ll bring breakfast the next morning.”

Bucky smiled. Or make you breakfast after waking up next to you. “Maybe I won’t take your call next time,” he teased.

Inez let go of his hand and pouted. “Really?”

“No. If you call, I’ll always answer.”

Her smile could brighten even his weary soul. “I could get used to that,” she said as she lightly gripped his hand. “And same.”

He closed his hand around hers. It was the first time he had held anyone’s hand with his metal arm–it was the first time anyone trusted him to touch them–and he was surprised how gentle his grip was. Bucky smiled at the sight of their intertwined hands, doing his best to burn the image and feeling into his memory. Feeling brave, he slowly reached out and tucked a loose tendril of hair behind her ear, letting his finger trace the outline of her jaw, making Inez’s lips slightly part in surprise. The comfortable silence that had fallen between them was suddenly broken by the sound of Inez’s phone, which played a pop song he vaguely recognized.  

Reluctantly Inez pulled her hand away and un-pocketed her phone, frowning the moment she saw Luce’s number. 

“I can go if you need to take that.” 

“It’s alright, it’s just a scam call.” She quickly sent the call to voicemail and pocketed her phone.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. He could tell she was lying, having seen the name ‘Luce” at the top of her phone screen, but he didn’t press the issue. “Your ringtone, was that Bad Blood?”

“It is. You know Taylor Swift?”

“Sam likes to play her music when we go on missions.”

“Captain America is a Swiftie?! That is awesome!”

“What’s a Swiftie?”

“That’s what her fans call ourselves. Do you like her music, too?” 

“I like 40’s music, so I don’t listen to too much pop music.”

“What about indie folk music?”

“Sure, I like that better than pop. Why?”

Inez got up and walked over to her record player. She took down the album cover with a picture of a woman standing amongst a forest of all trees and removed a beige vinyl. Bucky’s foot began to tap along with the easy beat of the soothing melody. 

“What song is this?”

“The 1,” Inez answered.

“And this is Taylor, too?” 

“Yep,” Inez answered as she took her seat back beside Bucky.

“Hmmm.”

Inez smiled as she watched him sway along to the music. She handed the album jacket to him and he perused the back and the innersleeve as they listened to Taylor lament about the one who got away. As the record moved onto The Last Great American Dynasty, the beat caught his attention. The song felt familiar. Bucky looked over to Inez, who was now lost in the music. He got up, prompting Inez to open her eyes. 

“Are you leaving?” she asked.

“Nope,” he held out his hand. “May I?”

Inez’s heart skipped as she took his hand and he pulled her into him. Bucky placed his hand around her waist and brought her other hand up before he led her around her small living room. Inez was amazed by how graceful Bucky was as he led her in waltz: knowing exactly when to spin her and dip her body. She couldn’t help but giggle, both from nerves and joy, as she danced to Taylor Swift with the most charming man she had ever met. 

With each second that passed, Bucky felt like his old self again. Each of his movements felt natural as his body fell into a familiar rhythm. The joy of listening to a good song and dancing with a beautiful partner did something to awaken the young man who danced every chance he got. The sound of Inez’s laughter urged him on, while the joy on her face muted the self doubt until all he could hear was her and Taylor. 

Inez suddenly pulled back and loudly sang, “There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen,” along with Taylor. She gave him a small curtsy, prompting Bucky to let out the first genuine laugh he’d had in almost 80 years. He took her back into his arms and spun her around a few more times before the song finally ended. 

They both laughed as the record began to play Exile, oblivious to the woo and heartbreak Bon Iver and Taylor argued back and forth. Inez walked over to the record player and turned it off. “I have never waltzed to Taylor Swift.” 

Bucky smiled. “And I’ve never willingly listened to her music,” He walked over to her, still beaming from the temporary reprieve she had given him. “Although I’m not sure if dancing is the best cure for a hangover.”

She giggled, “Maybe not, but this is by far my favorite way to start my day.” She sighed. “Thanks, James.”

Before Bucky could argue that he was the one who should be thanking her, his phone began to ring. Bucky bit back a frown and pulled out his phone. Seeing it was Mrs. Collins, he answered. “Good morning, ma’am. I know, I just had something I needed to take care of.” 

Inez flushed crimson when Bucky turned to look at her. 

“I’m heading over now, bye.” He sighed. “I have to go.” 

“You’re not in trouble, are you?”

“No, it's just that I’m never late.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Bucky said as he walked to the door. He turned back to her after he crossed the threshold of her front door. He could feel an invisible string pull him towards her and he looked down at her soft lips that made all sense leave him. All he had to do was lean down just a bit and he would finally know what she felt like, tasted like, sounded like as he devoured her. He had pondered it since their dinner, daydreamed about it even, and now it seemed all he had to do was lean in. So why wasn’t he moving? Because I’m still dreaming about someone else. He knew it didn’t make sense–Sophia was gone, but he still felt like he was betraying her memory in some way. Maybe it was because Inez looked so much like her, or maybe it was because he started to feel something more than lust for Inez. It would be so easy to give into lust and use Inez to soothe the loneliness he carried, but he cared about her too much to use her like that. Inez deserved so much more. 

Inez felt her heart leap into her throat when she saw his eyes look down. Fuck, I really want to kiss him right now. He’s so close and he has that look again. Maybe she was imagining it, maybe it was just his deep blue eyes that made her feel like she could get lost in them, but she felt it; in that moment, all he saw was her. 

“Well I should go. I don’t want my boss getting too worried,” Bucky said softly.

Inez felt the moment shatter around her and she forced her mouth to maintain the small grin she had been wearing since they stopped dancing. “Right.” 

Bucky gave her a small nod and began to turn when Inez asked, “How did you know where I live, by the way?”

Bucky turned back. “I ordered an uber to take you and Becca home last night.”

Inez didn’t know whether to smile or cry, so she just nodded. “Thanks for doing that. I can pay you back.”

Bucky waved her off. “It’s alright. I’m just glad you got home safe.”

Fuck it. Inez rushed over to him and got on her toes, planting a kiss on Bucky’s cheek, satiating the need to feel him on her lips just enough to maintain her sanity a bit longer. A warmth spread through her, from her face to chest, and her mind swam in the sensation. Suddenly, her breath hitched as the warmth turned into a vision–a beautiful dream played across her closed eyelids of what could be, and she realized what it could be to finally be with the someone that made you wish for forever. Mind and heart racing, she finally pulled back, her lips crying out in protest for ending the all-too-brief kiss. Her nerves were eased by the sight of Bucky’s face, which lit up as he blushed profusely. Inez smiled, glad to see she had the same effect on him, too. “See you Saturday.”

Still reeling from the feel of her lips on his skin, Bucky simply gave her a quick smile before he turned and left. Inez finally closed the door when Bucky got into the elevator at the end of the hall, giving her a small wave before he got in. Inez almost melted against the door, her heart racing as the memory of his touch still lingered on her skin. Oh no, I think I’m falling for him. 

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The day seemed to drag on as he waited for the clock to strike five. He knew he could leave early if he wanted to but guilt kept him tethered to his work until the end of the day. There was something he needed to do and a month of putting it off had gnawed at his guilt. He grabbed the first bouquet of flowers he saw from a vendor just outside the VA and began his journey to the west side of Brooklyn. 

The walk was too long, giving his mind time to wander to everything but what he had to do. He mused on his last therapy session, he had somehow managed to get through it without revealing too much about Sophia or Inez and without prompting too many notes from Raynor. So that was a win in his book, even if he still felt a slight sting of guilt for being withholding. I’ll tell her when I’m ready. As he passed by his favorite coffee shop his mind shifted to Inez and his impromptu visit to her apartment. He knew it was a gamble, but when he heard her ask about his arm, he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being afraid of him, not if he was going to continue to see her. And not only did she ease his fears but touched him in a way that made him feel more alive then he’d felt in eighty years. The memory of her kissing him on the cheek made him fight back a grin. He wished he had enough courage to turn and kiss her. 

Before he could spiral into what if scenarios the cemetery gates came into view. He took a deep breath and a moment to center himself, he knew what he needed to do but that didn’t make it any easier. Soon his legs were walking him toward the older section of the cemetery, leaving his mind free to review what he would do and say when he reached his destination. A part of him felt foolish for even coming back, much less preparing what to say since he knew his words would fall on deaf ears. 

“You need closure, James. Those words are more for you, than them.” Raynor had advised him. 

Bucky stopped walking and looked up to find himself in an unfamiliar section of the cemetery. He huffed, annoyed at himself for getting lost in his thoughts, again. He looked around, trying to find a familiar marker when a statue caught his attention. A statue of Liberty holding up a torch with women gathering at her side was just a few steps to his left. The women held up tools and flags, looking as if they were ready to follow Liberty into battle. He stepped closer to read the inscription below Liberty’s feet: 

Dedicated to the Women who rose and served their country during World War II with

Pride, Courage, and Honor.

He smiled as he stood back up and took a few steps closer. He looked down at the bouquet of flowers and plucked a white rose from the arrangement. He took a deep breath and was about to lay down the rose when something stopped him. At the end of the memorial there was a nurse, rushing to Liberty’s aid, her cape permanently flowing in the wind. Even though he knew Sophia was not laid to rest beneath this memorial he still paused. He felt his eyes begin to sting as a gust of wind caressed his face. Suddenly presented with the opportunity to memorialize her his mind went blank as it raced with all the words he had always wanted to say. Somewhere in the distance he heard what sounded like an owl hoot, the strange sound pulling him out of his trance.

“There is so much I want to say but I have a feeling I’m going to fuck it up.” He shifted a bit, suddenly feeling a bit foolish talking to stone. “But I guess the one thing I need to say is, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you when you needed it most, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I had the chance,” he took a deep breath as his heart began to break open. “But I hope you knew I loved you, Sophia.” He closed his eyes as tears began to stream down his cheeks. “And I always will.” he choked out. “Waking up without you was the real torture and there was so many times I wanted to give up, but I knew you’d kick my ass if I did.” he let out a small chuckle. “I have my freedom back but it feels hollow without you or my family here. I’m not sure what I’m doing or what I want but I’m not going to waste it. If there is one thing I can do right, is to live the rest of my days making you proud. I told their stories so they wouldn't be forgotten, I spoke their names so they can be included in our story. But I couldn’t tell her about you.” he opened his eyes and wiped away his tears. 

“I know, it’s selfish, but they have taken so much from me, so I wanted to keep your memory to myself a little longer. But I promise I won’t let your story be forgotten, give me some grace Sophie until I find the strength to tell them about you.” He let out a shattered breath. “And forgive me for daring to move forward, but I can’t live frozen any more. I could almost feel you pushing me forward and when I saw Inez,” he clutched his chest, the pain becoming unbearable. “I thought maybe, somehow it was you. I know it isn’t, no one could ever replace you. But,” he looked up to the sky to help him find the strength to push the words he needed to purge from his soul forward. “Did you send her? Was this the only way to get me to start living again?” Wind rushed by him, making his tear soaked collar send a chill through him. “Because it's working. Please tell me it's okay, Sophie. Please, I need to know if it's okay.” To move on. Yet he left those words unsaid, too painful to even think about.  

His grief crescendoed, almost pushing him to the point of breaking. He knew there was no way she could speak to him, but what he wouldn't give to hear her voice again. He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs refused as the pain continued to lift from him. Decades of keeping his sorrow buried, his heart was now taking its revenge, assaulting him and threatening to break him. He almost wished his mind would go numb, just like he used to when he felt anything during those first years of captivity. It hurts because it’s healing. Raynor had warned him.  

Rustling of wings and branches ripped through the still afternoon air, a soft hoot and caws soon joined. He looked up to see a murder of crows looking down at him from a nearby tree, staring down at him as if they were there to witness his bone shattering sorrow. And there amongst them was a small brown, spotted owl hooting softly. The sight momentarily stunned him. The small owl tilted its head, before it let out another soft hoot. He wasn’t one to believe in omens and signs, but his mind still reached out and took it as something other than a rare sighting. He turned back to the memorial and finally set down the white rose. Pain still wrecked through him, but a part of him was glad as with each tear it felt like a weight being lifted from him. “This isn’t goodbye, Sophie. This is simply see you later.” he whispered as he stood up. After taking a moment to collect himself he finally turned to the path and made his way to his intended destination, the graves of his parents. 

It was part of his life before the war to go to his parents' resting place. He usually went with his younger sister Rebecca, letting her chat away about everything and anything that was going on in her life to their parents while he cleaned up the gravesite and arranged the new flowers. He would sometimes say something, mostly because Rebecca insisted he keep their parents up to date on who he was or wasn't dating. He was always amazed how easily Rebecca spoke to their parents, maybe it was because she had been so young when they died that she found nothing unusual about visiting her parents at the cemetery every week. Today however he kept his conversation short, exhausted from purging the grief of losing Sophia. He did however tell them that he was trying to move forward and that he would eventually go up to see the property Rebecca had left him. He knew it would break his mother’s heart to know her father’s old house had been left neglected and at the mercy of the elements. Bucky felt exhausted as he walked out of the cemetery thirty minutes later, both body and soul. 

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By Friday night Bucky finally felt more at ease after a week of emotional whiplash. He was genuinely excited to show Inez around the city on Saturday and even catch up with Sam, who had been busy at the GRC, tonight at Benny's. He pushed the crosswalk button and stuffed his hands into his jacket pocket to fend off the fall chill. As he waited for the walking man to turn green he heard a dog bark. Turning, he saw a golden retriever barking at something under a dumpster, its mouth spraying drool as it tried to grab at whatever it had pinned down. A flash of black fur scuttled back toward the wall, making him realize it wasn’t a large rat the dog was barking at. 

“Hey!” His voice echoed through the alleyway as he walked towards the dog, but the mutt didn’t relent. “Back off.” He grabbed the dog by its collar with his left hand, which turned the beast's attention to him. Bucky winced as the dog’s sharp teeth broke through his leather glove and clashed against his vibranium skin. 

“That’s my dog!” a young man shrieked as he ran up to Bucky.

Bucky knelt down to keep from pulling the dog's collar too far up and turned, glaring at the man. “Yeah, well why isn’t it on a leash?” 

“He got loose, but dude, let him go!”

“Not until you get this thing on a leash. He’s dangerous.”

“Quill wouldn’t hurt a fly!” the man argued as he knelt beside Bucky and clipped the leash back onto the dog. 

Bucky stood up and tore off his mangled glove. “Tell that to my glove,” he grumbled. 

The man turned to Bucky, mouth open and ready to argue when his eyes went wide. “You’re the Winter Soldier.” He immediately took a few steps back. 

“You should put a muzzle on him or next time someone might call animal control.”

“Yes, yes sir.” He pulled Quill closed to his side. “Sorry.” 

For a moment Bucky felt bad, the young man looked like he was about to piss his pants. But any sympathy he had evaporated when he heard a soft meow behind him. Bucky quickly turned around, ignoring the sound of the young man and his still growling dog rushing away and walked towards the dumpster. As he grew closer the meowing stopped. He slowly knelt down and looked underneath to see a small puff of black fur cowering against the brick wall. 

“Hey there,” he whispered softly, causing the kitten to curl up further and hiss. He pulled back and looked around, searching for a mother cat or owner but found nothing but an empty alleyway. He sighed and got down on his knees, using his right arm to lift the dumpster slightly. “Come on little guy,” he reached out with his left hand, carefully grabbing the ball of black puff with a white front left paw. Bucky quickly stood and cradled the kitten against his chest. 

Despite its small size the kitten hissed and swiped its paws at Bucky, trying desperately to escape its captor's clutches. “You’ve got fight in ya, I’ll give you that.” he whispered as he rubbed the back of the kitten's ears. After a few more hisses the puff settled down and finally opened its emerald green eyes, staring up at Bucky as it melted into his chest. Unsure what to do, he resumed his walk and tucked his new companion into his leather jacket.

“What the hell happened?” Sam asked as Bucky walked into Benny’s. 

“I had to grab something and got a little dirty.”

“Doing what? Dumpster diving?”

Bucky smiled and opened his jacket enough to let the kitten peak its head out. “Something like that.”

“James! No animals in the shop!” Mrs. Russo hollered.

“Alight, sorry. Then I’ll take my usual to-go.”

“I just got here,” Sam complained. 

“Well I can’t stay here with–” he looked down, “This little guy.”

Sam sighed. “Fine, we can eat at the park. But you know how much I hate eating cold pizza.”

“Then you better hurry up. Grab my slice for me, will ya?”

“Seriously?”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “I’ll take a water, too.” He turned and began to walk towards the door.

“And now you want to stick me with the bill?!”

“You still owe me after I wiped the floor with you during Texas Hold’em.”

Sam glared as he got up and walked over to the counter, paying Mrs. Russo for both meals. 

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“Here.” Sam dropped the small boxed slice of pizza and a bottle of water beside Bucky on the bench. “And clean your damn hands,” he grumbled as he tossed Bucky a small bottle of hand sanitizer. 

“Alright, dad,” Bucky quipped as he rubbed the aloe green liquid into his hands. “You’re so grumpy when you don’t eat.”

“I am,” Sam replied before taking a large bite of his pizza. “What are you going to do with that?” He nodded towards Bucky’s chest where the kitten now had its head down, seemingly asleep. 

“I don’t know, I just found it.” He bit into his slice. “I could put up posters, see if someone lost a cat.”

“Does it have a collar?”

Bucky looked down. “Nope.”

“Most likely a stray. Streets are full of them since the Blip. Most of the charities have lost their funding in all the chaos of trying to reintegrate half the population.” 

Bucky frowned. “I guess I’ll have to find an old blanket.”

“What the hell do you need that for?”

“To make a bed.”

“They sell cat beds now.”

“Fine. Then, maybe I should ask Mrs. Russo to see if she has any scraps I can use to feed it.”

“They have cat food now, too!”

“Alright! Fine!” Bucky huffed. “I grew up with outdoor cats; they ate what we ate and slept on whatever was laying around.” 

Sam shook his head. “First thing, give it a bath. Then shower, you stink like old deli food.” 

Bucky scooched closer to Sam, making his friend move further away. “Really, I thought you liked the smell of old pickles.”

“Back off, Buck,” Sam covered his nose. 

Bucky slapped Sam’s arm and moved a few inches away. “Alright, alright,”

Sam chuckled.

“What?”

“It’s just kind of funny, big tough super soldier walking around with a tiny kitten in his jacket. It’s cute.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and took another bite of his pizza. 

“Speaking of cute, did you figure out where you are going to take the good doctor tomorrow?”

“She has a name, it's Inez. And I think so.” Bucky stuffed a large piece of pizza in his mouth and looked away.

Sam looked him over. “Is James Bucky Barnes nervous?”

Bucky shrugged.

“Argh! It’s like pulling teeth trying to get details from you!”

“I took your advice, okay? I looked over her profile and got a better sense of what she’d like.” Bucky kept his eyes forward.

“But?” Sam pressed.

Bucky turned to Sam, confused. “But what?”

“You are going to make a move right?”

Bucky glared at Sam, if he didn’t have a kitten napping in his jacket he’d shove his smug looking friend. “There’s a dance to these things. You gotta warm up and I haven’t made a move since 1943.”

Sam smiled like a fool. “Aww, Barnes has a crush.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Enlighten me then, Casanova. What moves did you pull to woo your–wait, oh that’s right, you don’t have a girlfriend.”

Sam finished his slice and wiped his mouth. “Too busy for one.”

“Right.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t date.” Sam wiped his hands with a napkin. “I get you want to be a gentleman, but you also have to make sure you’re clear in your intentions.”

“Meaning?”

“Do you want to date or just…” Sam waved his hand around.

“What does this…” Bucky waved his hand, mimicking Sam. “Mean?”

“I’m assuming it’s been awhile,”

Bucky cleared his throat. “I’m old, not dead.”

“Ok then, so if you want more than that, make sure you let her know. Women appreciate honesty and hate when you play games.”

“Hmmm, what about teasing?”

“Like in bed?”

“No! I mean like, joking around, flirting. Do people not flirt anymore?”

“Of course they do.” Sam shook his head. “This is harder than I thought.”

“Now you’re saying I’m hopeless?”

“No, it's just,” Sam sighed. “I’ve never seen you like this.” The shift in tone made Bucky lean forward. “You smile every time she texts you, if I even mention anything related to her you light up, not to mention you have been taking me to all the restaurants she recommended. You can’t shut up about her.”

Bucky chewed the inside of his cheek. “I like hanging out with her.”

“Because you like her.”

“I just said that.”

Sam shook his head. “No, I mean you like her like her.”

Bucky chuckled. “Are we in kindergarten?”

“Come on, Buck. I’m being serious.” 

“I can tell,” he mocked. 

Sam rubbed his forehead. “Maybe I’m being selfish, but I like the idea of you having someone else in your life.”

“Cause you’re sick of hanging out with me?”

“No! I’m not, but I have to admit it has been much more pleasant in the last few weeks. And forgive me for rooting for my friend to find someone who makes him happy.”

“She isn’t going to fix me, Sam.”

Sam sat back, surprised. “What does that mean?”

“Being with someone isn’t going to magically fix all my problems.”

“But you’d have someone to help you through them.”

Bucky looked down at his hands, at his metal hand Inez had held so tenderly. “I know but I would also be asking a lot from her. She might not want to–”

“Hey, don’t do that. Don’t try to push her away before she even gets close. She’s crossed the first hurdle, she knows who you are.”

Bucky turned to Sam. 

“A grumpy, pain in the ass.”

Bucky let out an amused sigh. “I guess you’re right.”

“Just see how tomorrow goes. Bet you anything she’ll be dropping hints left and right.”

“Oh really? And why is that?”

“All those cute selfies and texts. It's obvious she’s thinking about you.”

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek, Sam was right. And yet he was afraid of rushing forward when he still felt like the fog of his past was lifting. “I have time now, Sam. I don’t want to rush anything. I’d rather savor it.”

“I get that, but don’t go so slow that she slips through your fingers.”

Bucky got up and tossed his trash into a nearby bin. “I should go get some food and supplies for this little guy.”

“Alright, have fun tomorrow.”

Bucky looked down at Sam, who was giving him a sincere smile. “I’ll cover lunch next time.” Bucky said before walking away. 

“You got this!”

Bucky groaned. “Bye Sam!” 

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Bucky was thankful to have something to take his mind off the whiplash that was his day. After giving the kitten a bath and drying it off, he set it down on the floor next to the toys and bed he had purchased on his way home. Bucky watched the kitten sniff the small stuffed fish and plastic ball before moving over to the bed. Once he was sure the kitten was settled, he stripped off his jacket, threw his wallet and keys onto his chair, and went back into the bathroom to shower.

Twenty minutes later he returned to the living room to find the kitten laying on his wallet, purring softly while it played with his keys. “You have toys, you know.” He picked up the stuffed fish and tossed it onto the chair but the kitten kept its attention on the keys. “Alright, buddy. I need to put those away.” He said gently as he reached for his things. The moment his fingers touched the keys the kitten arched its back and hissed, swiping at his fingers with its white paw. “Hey, I have to sit!” he argued, but the kitten kept swiping until he pulled his hand away. Defeated, Bucky grabbed the remote, turned on the TV and sat down beside the chair, leaning against the wall as he settled down to watch a baking show. 

“Don’t get used to it buddy, I’m only giving you a break because you had a rough day.”

The kitten looked up for a moment, blinking slowly before turning its attention back to the keys. 

Bucky woke up the next morning with a kitten sleeping soundly on his chest, he looked over to the cat bed to find both cat toys, his keys and wallet piled on top. “Huh, you’re a hoarder.” He chuckled, causing the kitten to wake up, stretching and yawning as it did. “Like a tiny, fluffy Smaug.”

Chapter Text

Inez woke up Saturday morning feeling both elated and nervous. Bucky’s surprise visit to her apartment had left her wanting more and dreading what it could mean. After Marco, she had kept her heart guarded, not allowing herself to go beyond a situationship or friends-with-benefits. 

After brushing her teeth, she rushed around her studio apartment, doing her best to get ready, but everything seemed to be going sideways. From forgetting to wash her favorite dress the night before, to her hair not cooperating, to her eyeshadow smudging, she felt like screaming by the time the clock struck nine. She took a deep breath, willing her hand to stop shaking and finally finished applying her makeup. 

Satisfied, she took one last look at herself in the mirror and smiled. While her cream sweater dress wasn’t her favorite, it did hug her curves in all the right places, and she couldn’t wait to see if it elicited a reaction from Bucky. She smiled as butterflies began to flood her stomach, and the anticipation of seeing Bucky again began to drown out the bad morning she was having. Her text alert went off, making her rush to the kitchen counter, heart racing. He’s early, she thought as she picked up her phone and opened it. Her stomach dropped through to the floor the moment she saw Marco’s name at the top of her text app. 

Marco Cortez🙄: I’m sorry about the exhibit. Your grandmother didn’t tell me it was about your grandfather. But I will reach out to the donors right away and speak to Dr. Miller myself. I’ll fix this, golondrina. 

Dr. Inez Garcia: Don’t, you’ve done enough.

Marco Cortez🙄: I thought I was helping.

Dr. Inez Garcia: Well you didn’t. So, do me a favor and don’t get anywhere near my career or job, AGAIN!

Marco Cortez🙄: Golondrina, please. I didn’t mean to hurt you.

Dr. Inez Garcia: It’s Inez! And I haven’t blocked you because I know you’ll tell your mama and I’ll get an earful from my abuela, but if you don’t leave me alone I will! 

Just as soon as she closed the text app it began to ring, Marco was trying to call her but she immediately sent the call to voicemail. She threw the phone onto the couch and began to pace around her small coffee table. That asshole! He knew what he was doing! Just like the rest of them, he wants me to go back home and play the role of the perfect little wife. She let out a frustrated breath as she began to recall all the ways Marco had tried to carry out her family's desire to control her. How he always sided with them, how he held his affection and love at arms length, making her turn herself inside out to please him. She wasted too many years with that arrogant mama’s boy!

Her phone rang again and she froze. She was tempted to let it go to voicemail, but when she noticed the time on the microwave, she rushed over. She felt her stomach flip at the sight of Bucky’s name. 

“Hi,” She answered in a winded voice.

“Hey, I’m downstairs.”

She smiled at the sound of his voice. “Great.” She took a deep breath to calm her racing heart and let out an audible sigh. 

“Are you alright?”

I am now. “Yeah, I’ll be right down.”

She grabbed her bag and took another deep breath before reaching for the door. She closed her eyes and repeated the mantra she created when she moved to the States, “They are 3,000 miles away, don’t let them fuck this up for you.”  After saying it a few times, she opened her eyes and focused on who was waiting for her downstairs. Knowing it was Bucky drove any thought of Marco and her family into the back of her mind.     

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Once Bucky hung up the phone, he took a seat and enjoyed his coffee. He had stopped for coffee at his favorite shop and, prompted by his thorough research on Inez from her profile, he ordered a pumpkin spiced latte for the first time in his life. The memory of the barista’s face made him chuckle as he took a sip of his own sweetened black coffee. Doing his best to ignore the butterflies that fluttered around his stomach he thought back to the kitten he had left sleeping on his chair, surrounded by her treasures. Did I leave enough food, is it going to scratch up the couch? I hope she doesn’t spill her water all over the place again.  He had been nervous to leave the kitten alone in his apartment for almost a full day and had considered bringing her along, but he knew that would limit where they could sightsee. He’d never admit it out loud, but waking up to a kitten kneading his chest wasn’t the worst wake up call. If anything, it was nice to have another living creature in his tomb-like apartment. Maybe I’ll bring her to poker night .

The elevator doors opened, prompting him to turn around in time to see Inez walking out into the lobby. Her long brown hair was woven into a loose braid with tendrils of hair framing her oval face. She wore her green coat again, with a cream colored, form-fitting sweater dress beneath, cinched at the waist with a belt, and riding boots. She looked gorgeous, and he let his eyes drink her in as she walked toward him. 

“Did you get me coffee?” She looked at the small cup in his gloved hand. 

“Um, yeah.” He hastily handed her the small cup. 

She was about to take a sip when she noticed his name written on it with a heart beside it. “I think they spelled my name wrong, but the heart is a cute touch.” 

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, sorry about that.”

“Was she cute?” she asked before taking her first sip.

Bucky shrugged. “He really wasn’t my type.” But god help me, you are. 

“Pumpkin spice! My favorite, thank you!” 

“We’ve got a full day, so I figured you could use a pick-me-up.”

You have no idea. “So, where are we going?”

“I thought we could start in Times Square, then go down to the Empire State Building.” 

Inez did her best to stifle her excitement. “Sounds like fun.”

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Fun wasn’t the word Inez would use to describe navigating through the throngs of tourists who flocked to Times Square, or the fact that–like so many things she had seen on television–this tourist mecca was in fact much smaller in person. She did her best to keep up with her guide, but his long strides were pushing her short legs to their limit. It wasn’t until Bucky stopped in front of the Jumbotron that was at the heart of the bustling intersection that Inez finally took in the sights. 

“There's a musical about Captain Rogers?!” she asked as the screen turned yellow and Captain America’s silhouette appeared.

Bucky groaned. “Yeah,”

She turned to Bucky. “Have you seen it?”

“They invited me to opening night, but I declined.”

“Do you know what it’s about?”

“His time as Captain America, mostly.”

“That’s…” she bit her lip, “kind of weird.”

Bucky turned to her. “Right?! I’m glad Steve isn’t around to see it. It would have mortified him.”

Inez giggled. “All I can picture is Cap rapping like in Hamilton.” 

“God, I hope not. The actor who plays me came to the VA. He said he wanted to get a ‘better sense of his character’.”

“Did you help him?”

“I told him to get lost.”

“But then he might be misrepresenting you as a grump on stage.”

“Who says I’m not?”

“I do.”

Bucky turned to look at her, his heart warming at the sight of her grin as she continued to scan the billboards.

“Hey, look! It’s Captain America!” A child shouted in excitement. 

Bucky and Inez turned to look at the source of the commotion. A group had gathered around the two street performers dressed as Captain America and Iron Man posing for enthusiastic tourists. The image cut through him, making him turn away. 

“That is so tasteless.” Inez fumed. 

“It’s fine.” 

“No, it’s not.” There was an edge to her voice and he knew without looking her eyes were lit with indignation. 

“The kids are enjoying it.” He stuffed his hand in his pockets and turned away from the fray. 

“I would have said something. They were your friends, after all.” She turned to Bucky who was now boring holes into the sidewalk. 

Bucky simply shrugged.

“You are a much bigger person than I am.”

He grinned. “Well I am a foot taller than you.”

She smacked his metal arm. “Hey! I am of average height.”

Bucky looked up, eyebrow raised. “Really?”

“Well, I would have been one hundred years ago.”

Bucky laughed. “I didn’t know that.”

“PhD in history and archaeology, remember?”

“Right.” He rolled his shoulders back as the ire of seeing the life work of his best friend packaged for the masses lifted. “Did you want to check out any shops?”

“Oh, so this is it, then?” She gestured to the large screens now advertising a soft drink.

“Pretty much.”

“Okay, well,” she removed her phone from her coat pocket. “Then we should take a picture before we move on.”

“We?”

“Of course. I need a photo with my handsome tour guide.” Inez did her best to maintain her casual smile while she searched for any reaction on his stoic face. 

Bucky walked to take his place beside her, took the phone from her hand, and angled it above them to capture the Jumbotron. He looked down at her and smiled. “My arms are longer than yours,” he teased. 

Her breath hitched at the sight of him smiling in earnest, it wasn’t until she heard the shutter noise coming from her phone that she blinked. “I wasn’t ready.”

“But you were smiling,” he said softly, the timbre of his voice sending a shock down her spine. He handed her the phone, finally looking away as Inez reviewed his work. 

Inez’s heart skipped a beat as she viewed the picture. He had not only managed to perfectly capture them against the backdrop of Times Square, but the look on Bucky’s face was the same one that had haunted her in the days since they went to dinner. Despite being surrounded by hundreds of people, his focus was squarely on her, making her feel as if she was all that mattered.

They had walked in comfortable silence for a few blocks before Inez commented, “I am rather peckish.”

“For something savory or sweet?”

She bit her lip and scanned the shops that lined the narrow square. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of a large, round confection. She grabbed Bucky’s left hand and set off to fulfill her craving. He was momentarily stunned by her lack of hesitation in taking his vibranium hand, but willingly followed after her. As they weaved through the large pack of meandering tourists, her grip tightened whenever they had to squeeze past people. A few blocks later they were standing in front of a large, smiling M&M. Inez finally released his hand, much to Bucky’s dismay. 

“What the hell?” Bucky said as he stared up at the giant candy. 

“I read about this place online! They have weird-flavored M&M’S.” 

Bucky turned to look at Inez, who was practically buzzing with excitement. “Do they have cactus-flavored M&M’S?” he quipped.

“Only one way to find out.”

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“It looks like a rainbow exploded in here,” Bucky commented as they walked into the candy shop. 

“Don’t tell me you hate chocolate,” Inez said as she walked towards the wall of large clear tubes containing every color and flavor of M&Ms imaginable.

“I don’t, it's just…” He leaned closer to the description beneath the large tube of candy. “What’s wrong with classic milk chocolate?”

She grabbed a clear bag and opened it. “Nothing wrong with the classics, but you can’t pass up the chance to try…” She turned to a random tube of candy and leaned down to look at the description. “Jalapeño-flavored peanut M&Ms.”

Bucky frowned. “You’re kidding?”

Inez scooped a small amount into her bag. “Nope. And since he’s wearing a sombrero, I have to try it,” she quipped.

Bucky watched in mock horror as she popped a M&M into her mouth, waiting for her to gag or wince but she confidently finished her treat and went back to get more. 

“Want one?” 

“I think I’ll pass for now, thanks.” 

Inez popped another candy in her mouth before walking over to Bucky. “So, you can’t handle heat?” she teased as she bumped into his left arm and took another chocolate out of the bag. 

“I can handle heat just fine,” he said in a low, silk smooth tone.

The butterflies in her stomach fluttered wildly. “Can you?” She challenged him.

He turned to look at her, a grin pulling at his lips as her pupils began to dilate and her breathing grew heavier, drawing his eyes to her ample chest. It wasn’t lost on him how his proximity affected her, how her eyes lit with amber flames as his gloved hand took hers, bringing it up to feed the piece of chocolate into his mouth. Inez’s breath hitched as his lips brushed her fingers and were it not for the noisy group of tourists that surrounded them he could have sworn she bit back a small moan. The bite of the jalapeño didn’t register on his tongue, his mind was too focused on the way her lips parted slightly as he pulled away. Fuck, he was in trouble, but he couldn’t bring himself to care while being this close to her, his senses enveloped in her sweet lavender and honey scent. It had been so long since he felt this good that he couldn’t help but want more. “Hmm, not bad.” 

Inez let out an awkward chuckle as she tried to ignore the jolt of heat igniting her core. Fuck, this man is going to drive me crazy. “Told you.” 

Bucky chuckled. “One of these days, that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble.” 

Inez grinned, “I’m counting on it.” She smiled triumphantly when she noticed Bucky’s eyes flash with shock and desire. 

Their standoff was finally ended by a rambunctious child who rushed towards them, his focus solely on the large tubes of candy. Bucky took a step back, running his gloved hand through his hair to collect himself, while Inez turned her attention back to the other tubes of candy. For a moment he felt regret creep up on him. He knew what he was doing and how she would perceive it. He knew he was encouraging her attraction. And despite the fear of losing her to his fucked up past, the overwhelming need to have her close–to be the focus of her attention and to bask in her warmth–was overriding his logic and sense. 

His discussion with Raynor had replayed in his head most of the week; the question of what made him happy and what he wanted with his new found freedom kept him up most nights. And despite his best efforts and arguments, the one person who kept coming to mind was Inez. Yes, she looked like Sophia, but his growing attraction went beyond looks. He didn’t feel out of place with her. Somehow, she made him believe he could fit in this era despite being born over one hundred years ago. He shook his head. He couldn’t believe he was having such a profound realization in the middle of a candy store. He looked around to see Inez browsing the candy tubes at the other side of the room. He quickly grabbed an empty bag and went to the color-coded tubes of candy and began to scoop red M&Ms into the bag.

“Did you want to stop by a souvenir shop and pick up a pin?” he asked once they finally left the M&M store. 

Inez stopped mid step and turned to Bucky. “So you did Instagram stalk me.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide in panic. “Sam sent me your profile, he said it would give me a better idea on what you’d like.”

“Sam?”

“Fuck…” Bucky swore under his breath. “I’m sorry.”

Inez bit her lip and then began to giggle. “It’s alright. I mean, you did like a few of my photos I posted years ago in the middle of the night. I kind of figured you checked me out.”

Bucky’s cheeks went bright red and he looked down at his shoes, unable to stand the amused look on Inez’s face.

Inez stifled her giggle and grabbed his right arm. “I think it’s sweet.” When Bucky didn’t look up she bumped her shoulder against his, finally making him look up. “I appreciate the thought you put into today.”

Bucky smiled. “I didn’t want to be basic,” he said earnestly, which made Inez bite her tongue to hold back another laugh.

“You are anything but. And to answer your question, yes, I’d like to get a pin to add to my collection.” She looked over Bucky’s shoulder and noticed another shop that caught her interest. “How about there?” she pointed, making Bucky look behind him to a door with a giant cartoon mouse. 

“If that is what you want.”

“I didn’t know tour guides were supposed to spoil their guests.”

“Well you did sign up for the VIP tour.”

“Which means I get anything I want?”

Bucky nodded. 

She looked him up and down, making the blush return back to his cheeks. “Good to know.”

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The way Inez lit up as she walked into the store warmed Bucky’s heart, so much that the bright colors and the sound of screeching children didn’t register. Inez floated around the endless aisles of merchandise, commenting on the different characters she loved from movies she saw as a child. Bucky paused by an aisle of toys that he recognized from the shorts that he saw as a young boy, losing sight of Inez. He picked up a small plush mouse and smiled; Mickey had always been Steve’s favorite. 

Memories of going to the theater on Coney Island with Steve rushed back to him. Seeing his friend get lost in Mickey’s adventures was his favorite part, even more than riding the Ferris wheel. He knew in those all-too-short precious moments, Steve was allowed to just be a kid and forget all about his ailing mother or mourn his father. For just a quarter, they were both allowed to forget about the world crumbling around them and enjoy watching Mickey somehow manage to get through another misadventure. Holding the cartoon mouse in his hands made him recall his last conversation with Steve before he left to be with Peggy. 

“Are you going to be alright?” Steve asked.

Bucky looked up at Steve, he knew that look. He wasn’t asking for his sake, Steve was asking for permission. “I will be.”

“Promise?”

“I’ll do my best, Steve.”

“I know you will, but I’m still going to ask Sam to look after you.”

Bucky frowned. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“I know, but,” Steve looked down, unable to stand the look of loss on his best friend's face. “I know this isn’t easy. It wasn’t easy for me when I first got out of the ice, but when you came back it almost felt like home. I don’t want you to feel like I’m abandoning you.”

Bucky punched his arm, making Steve lookup. “If the tables were turned and I could go back to…” he took a deep breath, “I would. But I can’t. You have a chance to get your dream girl.”

Steve smiled. “It might not work, I might end up lost somewhere in time.”

“We already are, buddy. We don’t belong here.”

Steve’s smile disappeared. “Then I shouldn’t go, I can ask someone else to take the stones back.”

Bucky shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t hold yourself back for anyone, especially me. You’ve given so much, Steve. You deserve this.”

Steve reached out and grabbed Bucky, giving him a bone crushing hug. “I asked if they could maybe find a way to send you back too.” Steve said into Bucky’s shoulder.

“There is nothing for me in the past either, not after what I lost during the war.”

Steve tightened his embrace. “I know, buddy. I know.” Steve pulled back, taking a deep breath to hold back his tears. “I need you to promise me one more thing.”

“Name it.”

“You’ll look over the file I got for you.”

Bucky pulled away. “I told you I don’t need it.”

“I think you do.”

“What’s the point?”

“You need to know what happened.” 

“I don’t want to remember, okay? I’m better off just forgetting everything.”

“You can’t do that anymore, Buck.”

Tears stung Bucky’s eyes. “You really want to fight now? This might be the last time I see you and you’re going to lecture me about some drunken request I made years ago?”

“Yeah. I don’t like to leave things unfinished.”

Bucky let out a mirthless chuckle. “Fine, I’ll take a look. When I’m ready.”

“I left the file with Sam,” Bucky opened his mouth to protest but Steve held his hand up. “He doesn’t know what’s in it. He promised to keep it safe until you’re ready to read it.”

“Great.”

“If you let him, Sam can be a great friend to you too.”

“Or a pain in my ass.”

“Who says he can’t be both?” Steve pulled him in for one last hug. “Keep an eye on him for me, Sam is going to need all the help he can get. Taking on that shield won’t be easy.”

“I’ll do my best.” Bucky let go of Steve and they both began to walk toward the platform. “Can you do me a favor?”

Steve stopped and turned to him. “Anything.”

“Take Peggy to Coney Island, get a few beers and walk on the beach.”

Steve smiled. “After we watch a few Mickey shorts?”

“If Disney is still around, yeah.”

“I will, Buck.” 

“James?”

Bucky snapped back to the present, almost dropping the Mickey plush he was holding. He turned to see Inez standing behind him, a small smile on her face. “Are you a fan?”

“Umm, yeah, I guess. You?”

“Of course, Mickey is a classic.”

Bucky looked around the store, “So which one is your favorite?” 

Inez bit her lower lip and looked around the store until she spotted a blue plush. She walked toward a display at the other side of the room, with Bucky following close behind, still holding the Mickey plush. She picked up a strange looking blue dog with six paws and antenna poking out its head. She brushed the head of the small plush and turned to look at Bucky. “Stitch.”

“What is that, a blue dog?”

Inez giggled. “Sort of. It’s from my favorite movie, Lilo and Stitch . Long story short, it's about an alien finding a family with a little girl who lost her parents.” A little of the joy in Inez’s eyes faded, making his heart ache. 

He could see how a story about an orphan would call to her, and even though he knew there was nothing he could do to alleviate her pain, he still felt compelled to try. He walked over to the shelf, took Stitch from Inez and looked it over, before comparing it to the smaller plush he was holding. “Do you think they’d be friends?”

“I like to think so.”

“Glad to see us old timers have a chance with the younger generation.”

Inez rolled her eyes. “You’re not that old.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow.

“Well maybe you are, but you’re the one holding two plush toys.”

“Hmm that's true. I bet I look ridiculous.”

She shook her head. “Not at all, I think you look cute.”

Bucky smiled. “Did you find your pin?”

She held up a small package. “Yep.”

“Did you happen to see any cat toys? I figured I’d pick another one up and see if it likes it instead of my keys.”

Inez’s face lit up. “You have a cat?!”

“A kitten. Just found it yesterday.”

“Are you keeping it?”

“I don’t know, maybe? I’m still trying to get it settled.” 

“Please tell me you have pictures.”

“Oh,” his shoulders dropped, “I forgot to take some.”

Inez frowned. “Well you did just find them, but you owe me. I will text you until I get a lot of cute cat pictures.”

“I’ll send some as soon as I get home.”

Inez smiled. “I think I saw a few pet accessories at the back of the store, want to go look?”

“Why don’t you go ahead? Pick something out and I’ll buy it.”

“Absolutely not. I’m paying for it. Consider it a gift for your new fur baby.”

Bucky chuckled. “Alright.” 

“What about those?” She pointed to the plushies he was still holding. 

“These are on me.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“I insist.”

Inez placed a hand on her hip and frowned. “James.”

Fuck, she looks so damn cute. “You can cover lunch.”

“Fine.” 

Bucky waited until Inez was out of sight to walk towards the register. Once he approached the cashier, the young woman behind the counter gave him a shocked look, looking from the two plush toys in his arms to his face. “Did you find everything you were looking for, sir?” 

He gave her a charming smile. “I hope so.”

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Inez felt her stomach begin to twist as the numbers on the elevator kept increasing, making her regret buying the mixed bag of flavored M&Ms. She closed her eyes and did her best to not think how high they were going, but her concentration was broken by the vibration of her phone in her coat pocket. 

Luce: You couldn’t be bothered to jump on a call? Abuela could have used your help today, the tias were out of control.

Inez flinched and was about to respond when she got another text, this time in Spanish.

Abuela: The meeting went well. Call when you have a chance so we can discuss the proposed business plan for the upcoming year. Marco said he’d call your boss today. don’t worry mija, you’ll get your little project back. I hope you are having fun with your friend. 

Inez stuffed her phone back into her pocket and let out a frustrated huff. 

“Are you alright?” Bucky whispered into her ear.

She felt a jolt of warmth go down her spine at his sudden proximity. “Yeah, but kind of regretting the jalapeño flavored M&Ms.” 

He chuckled. “You should have stuck to the classic milk chocolate.” He rubbed her arm, making her suddenly forget the troublesome texts she still had to respond to.

The elevator finally reached its destination, prompting everyone in the large elevator to rush forward toward the Empire State viewing deck. She followed Bucky out but paused as they reached the ramp.

“Aren’t you coming?” Bucky asked.

Inez looked over his shoulder at the Manhattan skyline. She took a deep breath and began her descent. She made it about a half dozen steps down the ramp leading to the observation deck when she froze. 

Bucky walked over to her. “Are you ok?”

She kept her gaze on the skyline and tightened her grip around her shopping bags. “Yeah, yes.”

“We don’t have to go out there,” he whispered. 

Inez blinked. “It’s okay.” It wasn’t. Panic was starting to course through her body. Heights had always made her nervous, but the phobia had only gotten worse since the accident. You can do this, you can do this.

Bucky placed his hand on her arm, squeezing it lightly. “Let’s go back inside.” 

“I want to do this,” she said firmly. 

“Alright,” he relented. He offered his free arm, “Then I’ve got you. The minute it gets to be too much, we’ll go back inside.”

The warmth in his smile temporarily eased her dread. “Okay,” she said softly as she took his arm. 

Bucky felt Inez’s grip tighten on his bicep as they approached the view line. “So what do you think?”

She looked down at the colorful mosaic of Manhattan. “It’s beautiful.” They stood in silence taking in the view, letting the cool fall air ruffle their hair. Bucky looked down at her. She was starting to shake, but she refused to move. “Hey look, it’s Captain America!” he said and pointed with his free hand. 

Inez turned her attention to where Bucky was pointing, “Really? Where?!”

Bucky let out a puckish laugh which both made her feel the fool and warmed her heart. 

“Ha, ha. Very funny.” She pushed him with her free hand but their arms remained linked.

Bucky’s laughter finally subsided. “Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

Bucky turned to look at her. “Maybe a little, but you’re no longer shaking like a leaf. Feel better?”

She turned to look at him when it suddenly hit her, he made her laugh to distract her from the terror of a potential 86 floor drop. “A little.” She eased on the grip she had on his bicep and looked back onto the world, fear banished to the recesses of her mind by the gratitude she felt for his anchoring presence.

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“Why go up if you have a fear of heights?” He handed her a pretzel and sat down on the green park bench. 

“I didn't want to miss that view.” She took a bite of her still warm pretzel.

“Was it worth it?”

“It would have been nice to get an Avenger fly over, but it was okay.”

“He’s busy meeting with politicians or else I would have asked him.”

“Are you good friends with the new Captain America?”

“Sam? Yeah, I guess.” He poured a generous amount of yellow, gooey cheese on to his soft pretzel, bracing for a request to meet America’s hero.

“You must be proud of him. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to step into Captain Rogers’s shoes.”

Bucky sighed. “You have no idea.” He took a large bite of his treat.

She chuckled at the sight of bright yellow cheese dripping down from the corner of his lip. 

“What?” he asked with cheeks still full of bread.

She grabbed her napkin and leaned in to wipe the cheese off his face. As her fingertips lightly grazed the stubble on his face Bucky stopped chewing and swallowed. He looked up at her, pupils dilated, cheeks beginning to turn pink. 

There was that look again, the one that made the rest of the world melt away. Feeling bold, she let her thumb lightly caress over the corner of his lower lip. His eyes fluttered, his breathing grew heavy and he began to lean into her touch. Her grip on the napkin began to slip, exposing more of his face to her. All she had to do was lean in a little closer and his lips would be on hers. 

Bucky suddenly pulled away, casting his eyes downward. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

Inez placed the napkin back on her lap. “Sure.” Her heart ached as he went quiet while her head spun from the emotional whiplash. “I can call an uber if you want to call it a day.” 

“No, it’s alright.” He took a deep breath and collected himself. “There is one last place I’d like to take you.”

She sighed. She could tell he was uncomfortable. She mentally kicked herself for seeing something that wasn’t there. “Okay.” 

They both got up, discarded their half-eaten pretzels, and headed towards the subway. 

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They found a relatively quiet subway car and took their seats. Bucky did his best to keep his focus on his gloved hands, but his lip still burned from her gentle touch. He shifted uncomfortably as he did best to corral his mind from musing what her fingers would feel like trailing down his face, down to his chest, then maybe down to his...

“That has to be him!” 

Bucky looked up to see a young man in a fedora looking at him.

“Doesn’t he like, have a metal arm?” The man’s young, raven haired, almost vampiric-looking companion asked. 

“That's why he’s wearing gloves.” The man did his best to gesture towards Bucky without being too obvious.

Bucky turned back down at his hands, doing his best to ignore them. 

“How many people do you think he killed?” The young man mused. 

Inez rolled her eyes and muttered to herself under her breath, curses in Spanish that would make her abuela blush.

“Like over a dozen, I think.” the woman replied with a bored, monotone voice. “I read somewhere he was the one who killed JFK.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised. I can’t believe they let a Hydra agent go free. Aren’t they worried he might go off and kill–”

“He’s a veteran,” Inez said as she glared daggers at the couple. 

Bucky placed a hand on Inez’s arm. “It’s alright,” he whispered. 

“No, it’s not. Sergeant Barnes risked his life over and over again so you can sit there in that ridiculous outfit.”

The woman sat up. “And for you to be a bitch too, I guess.”

“Exactly, so show some respect.” Inez shot back.

“Fuck off,” The woman said as she got up, her companion rushing to join her, and walked to the subway car door. 

Inez mumbled something under her breath as she watched the couple walk onto the platform. She felt her blood boil and did her best to be the bigger person, but before she could take a breath she felt her right hand curl into a fist and a jolt of something hauntingly familiar snaked up her arm. Shit!

The woman shrieked as her heel broke, making her drop her purse to the floor, causing the contents to spill everywhere. 

“That’s unfortunate.” Bucky said sarcastically. 

Inez quickly unclenched her hand and shook it out, doing her best to ignore the warmth that was still there. “Right.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Bucky said. 

White-hot panic seized her. “What do you mean?”

“Defend me. You don’t have to do that.”

Inez ignored the relief that released her frozen heart and turned to him. “I can’t stand a bully, or seeing a veteran be disrespected.”

“Well, most people don’t see me that way.” He looked up at an ad for Rogers: The Musical . “I don’t blame them. I’m the one who–” he stopped himself the moment Inez took his hand. 

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Bucky felt his stomach drop. Hearing that phrase from her lips made those words hit him like a truck. He kept his eyes fixed on her hand, her hold on his vibranium hand felt like a lifeline.

“And they should be thanking you. You’ve given up so much.” She gave his hand a small squeeze, her heart warming as his fingers began to lace through hers.  

The sound of their intended stop finally made her let go and his hand clenched, as if trying to capture the feel of her permanently into vibranium skin. They both got up silently, Inez walking beside Bucky as he led her to their next location. She didn’t say another word as they walked along the quiet streets of the small Brooklyn neighborhood, and again Bucky silently thanked her for her understanding. 

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As they got closer to the small pizza shop, he turned to look at his companion and smiled as she took in the charming street full of trees sporting their fall foliage and brownstones. “Where are we?” she finally asked.

“My old neighborhood.”

“My favorite pizza shop closed decades ago.” He pushed open the door to Benny’s. “But this place is pretty close.”

The moment they walked through the doors, an elderly woman with brilliant white hair rushed over to Bucky. “Jimmy!” She greeted him warmly.

“Mrs. Russo.”

Mrs. Russo gave Bucky a quick hug before smacking his stomach. “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

“I’ve been busy with work.”

Mrs. Russo leaned to look behind Bucky, to see Inez, who was too busy looking at the menu. “Oh she is gorgeous,” she said in English before asking in Italian. “Is she your girlfriend?”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed crimson. “She is,” he coughed, “gorgeous, I mean,” he said in English. “But she’s just a friend,” he added in perfect Italian. “And here to try your famous margarita pizza,” he said, switching back to English. 

Inez’s cheeks burned at his compliment before she turned to Bucky. “A Barnes-approved slice,” she grinned. “This must be good.”

“The best!” Mrs. Russo exclaimed before she rushed back to the counter. 

“You speak Italian?” Inez asked as they took their seat in a corner booth. 

“Yeah.”

“What about Spanish?”

Bucky nodded.

“So, you heard me call that couple–”

“Dumbasses, yes. Or at least I think you did, all I could hear was ‘pendejos’.” 

“Language,” Mrs. Russo swatted Bucky’s arm before she set down a small margarita pizza. Bucky was sure wherever Steve was, he was probably laughing his ass off.

Inez bit back a laugh. “Sorry, Mrs. Russo.”

“Good, at least your girlfriend has manners,” Mrs. Russo said in English. “Watch your mouth, or you’ll scare her away,” she added in Italian.

“We’re just–” Bucky tried to explain, but Mrs. Russo brushed him off and walked away. He winced as Mrs. Russo walked into the back and he feared what awaited him. He was sure Inez would be mortified at the assumption of being his girlfriend. He took a deep breath and turned back to Inez, who was already cutting off a slice. “I’m sorry about that.”

“The cursing? Mouth of a sailor, remember?” She took a bite. “But maybe we should cut back, I don’t want to incur her wrath.”

Bucky let out a relieved sigh. “Good idea.” 

Inez smiled. “So, do all the good restaurants in Brooklyn know you by name?”

He grabbed a slice. “I’m a creature of habit. Once I find a good place, I keep going back.”

“Alone?”

Bucky almost choked on the bite he was chewing, he quickly swallowed and wiped the bit of sauce that escaped him. Is she asking me if I’m single?! “Most of the time. I’ve brought Sam around a few times.”

Inez took another bite and let out a contented sigh. “Lucky Sam.” She finished her slice. “So, you said I could pick your brain.”

Bucky nodded and mentally prepared himself.

“What did you want to be when you grew up?”

Bucky took a large bite of his slice and sat back, thinking. “My grandfather ran a small woodshop a few hours outside the city. I spent most summers up there.” He sighed. “I was kind of hoping when I got back I’d…” he cleared his throat as he tried to clear the name of the person he had hoped to share it with from his mind. “Go back and help out. Maybe even take it over one day, but he closed the shop after he retired.” 

Inez smiled warmly. “Carpenter Barnes, I like it.”

Bucky took a drink of his water. “What about you? Did you always want to be a historian?”

“For the most part. I mostly wanted to go off on adventures in exotic locations.”

“Like Brooklyn?”

She giggled. “More like the jungles of Mexico or the Amazon.” 

“But you’re working in a museum.” 

Inez looked down. “My last dig ended abruptly, then the Blip happened and my funding dried up.” She sighed.

“So what you’re currently doing, isn’t your dream job then?”

Inez looked up. “I mean, I still love it, but I wish I had finished the dig.” 

“What were you looking for?”

Inez gave him a mock frown. “I thought I was picking your brain.” 

Bucky smiled. “And I can’t pick yours?” He leaned forward. “Running around in the jungle looking for treasure is a hell of a lot more interesting than carpentry.”

“Artifacts, not treasure.”

“Right,” he sat back. “So what was it?”

“Artifacts related to the moon goddess, Mētztli and her priestesses.” Inez looked up to gauge his reaction.

“Like a regular Captain Nemo.” 

Inez blushed profusely. “Next question, what was the last movie you watched?”

“Indy something.”

“Indiana Jones?”

“Yeah.”

“Which one?” She almost leapt out of her seat. 

“The latest one, I saw it on a plane.” He took a large bite of his slice.

“Have you seen the original trilogy?” 

Bucky raised an eyebrow and began to respond when he suddenly remembered he still had a giant bite of pizza in his mouth. Inez bit her lip as she tried to hold back a small giggle. “No.” He finished his slice and quickly wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I’m still working through the list of recommendations Sam and others,” Steve, “have given me.”

Inez slammed the table startling Bucky. “That is unacceptable. You have to watch the first three!”

“Okay, okay, I will.”

“Swear?”

“Scout’s honor.” He held up three fingers. “Maybe next time we can.”

“Oh, you want to watch them with me?”

“Watching with an actual explorer sounds like fun.”

“Only if you’re okay with colorful commentary.”

“Of course.”

Inez felt her stomach twist as Bucky flashed her a charming smile, his blue eyes looking deeply into hers. She took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok, sure. My place or yours?”

“Yours,” He replied immediately, making her eyebrow go up. “I’m still moving in, so…” He trailed off. 

He was nervous and she found it incredibly endearing. Before she could drown in his piercing blue eyes, she turned her attention back to her slice of pizza. 

The hours flew past them as they got lost in conversation about cats, food and ideas for their next sightseeing trip. It wasn’t until Mrs. Russo came by their table and took their empty pizza tray that Inez noticed the sun had started to set.  “I guess I should get going.” Inez grabbed a few bills from her purse and placed them on the table. “Same time next week?”

Bucky placed a few more bills as a tip on the table. “Sure.” He got up. “Why don’t I walk you back? We’re not that far from your place.” 

“It’s alright.” She waved him off as she began to button her coat.

“I insist.” Bucky replied as he put on his coat.

“Really, it’s fine.”

“He’s being a gentleman, let him!” Mrs. Russo called out from behind the counter.

“Exactly, thank you Mrs. Russo.”

Outnumbered, Inez relented, and after bidding Mrs. Russo farewell and promising to come back for another slice soon, she followed Bucky out the door. 

Just as Bucky turned in the direction of the park, Inez stopped him. “Wait! We need our last selfie of the day.”

She maneuvered them with their backs to the restaurant, capturing the painted “Benny’s” in the window above their heads. “Say, Brooklyn!” With each photo they took that day, Bucky looked more and more relaxed. I love it when he smiles, he’s so damn cute. She thought as she swiped to share the photo with him, and made his phone chime in his pocket.

Bucky ignored it for now, deciding he would rather be with the real thing. Together, they walked side by side down the street, shoulders occasionally brushing with their nearness, both trying to ignore the fact that the end of their outing was following close behind.

Inez felt her heart begin to rattle in her ribcage, pounding wildly as they reached the steps leading up to her building. Bucky had remained relatively quiet on the way back, making her feel as if he was retreating again. She shook the thought out of her head, admonishing herself for overthinking again. 

“I’ll send you pictures of the kitten when I get back home,” Bucky said as they reached the steps.

“With the plushy I got it,” she reminded him.

“Yeah,” he rocked back on his heels, unsure what to say or do next. Despite telling Sam all week this wasn’t a date, it sure as hell felt like it.

Inez walked past him, going up a few steps before stopping and turning to face him. “Thanks for the tour, James.” She leaned in, placed her hand on his chest, and planted a featherlight kiss on his right cheek. 

Bucky’s heart almost stopped, it definitely skipped a beat. That, he was sure of. He closed his eyes, savoring the way she felt pressed against him. Before he could stop himself he turned to face her, lips brushing against hers. Inez’s eyes went wide in surprise and Bucky froze. Shit, was this a mistake? Before he could pull away Inez grabbed his coat and pulled him into her. After a few tentative strokes of her soft lips, she finally parted for him and every thought, hesitation, and fear he had of taking this next step just ceased to exist. All he could think about was Inez. 

Every daydream Inez had about kissing him paled in comparison to the feel of his lips on hers. Seconds seemed to stretch into hours as her mind raced trying to process what she was feeling. I could stay here, if this is as close as I can get. God, this feels good. 

He snaked his right arm around her waist and brought his cool metal hand to her cheek, running his hand across her soft skin, tracing the blush that had deepend there and feeling the warmth though the vibranium as it inched up his arm. Sparks coursed through him like he had closed a circuit. Him, her, this night, this kiss. It felt like deja-vu, a familiar dream that he would willingly spend an eternity in if he could.  

With each passing moment, she felt her body begin to drown in wave after wave of something between electricity and magic. She had never been kissed like this, and she didn’t think she would be again. He expertly teased moan after moan from her as he lightly bit at her lower lip, as if demanding more of her to explore. She let go of his coat, dropped her shopping bags and ran her fingers through his hair, messing his golden brown locks and lightly scraping her manicured nails across his scalp. Bucky groaned into her mouth and pulled her closer until her soft curves closed around his hard edges.

Then suddenly, without warning, everything shifted. Everything changed. And all the barbed wire she had wrapped around her heart fell away and let it begin to beat freely again. As Bucky ran his hands under her coat an addictive warmth began to drown every fiber in her being and somewhere in the distance something cracked, thunder maybe, but she didn’t care, not when he had her wrapped in his arms. As the warmth began to snake its way up her arms she felt a twinge of panic, the feeling felt hauntingly familiar. Pull away, pull away before– Bucky deepened the kiss scattering the warning into the wind. 

Bucky’s hand traced down her haunting curves, trying to memorize the shape of her body as he held her. Moments of pure joy were so rare he feared he’d never have this chance again, so he let himself be greedy and devoured her. His hand reached the dip of her back and he felt a jolt run from the top of his head and down his spine. Just as the new sensation began to pierce the lust-fueled haze, someone coughed loudly.

“Excuse me,” an old man huffed as he walked past them. 

“Sorry, Mr. Turner,” Inez mumbled as she quickly broke away from Bucky, bent down to retrieve her bags and walked up a few more steps. 

Bucky looked down at his feet, doing his best to catch his breath as the feel of her lips still burned on his skin. 

Inez took a few shallow breaths, doing her best to slow her racing heart and shook her right hand, hoping to banish the strange sensation. Still coming down from her own high, she didn’t notice Bucky walk up the few steps to meet her. “I got you something.”

Inez looked up, her breath hitched as the air charged between them. He reached into his side coat pocket and pulled out a small bag of M&Ms. “They're just plain old milk chocolate.”

Inez looked down at the bag full of red, white and green M&Ms. Before she could react, Bucky took her hand and placed the bag onto her palm. His metal hand lightly caressed the back of her hand, and he pulled away before he lost all sense.

“Thanks,” For the chocolate, for the best kiss, and the best day I’ve ever had. She smiled and waited for him to say something or do something, she wasn’t opposed to being kissed again. Instead Bucky took a deep breath and swallowed. The crimson blush on his cheeks began to fade away. A jolt of panic ran through her, Did he regret it?!

Seeing the smile fade from Inez’s face, Bucky quickly gave her a small grin before he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, despite wanting to take her back into his arms and lose himself in her again. “Same time next week?” he whispered onto her lips.

“Yeah,” she said breathlessly. “Good night, James.”

“Good night, Inez.” 

Bucky reluctantly pulled away and began to walk back down the steps of her building, as the fall air began to chill his scorching skin, his body cried out for her, demanding he turn around and take her upstairs. But his heart and mind stopped him. He wanted her, that was now clear, but he needed a moment to process the shift in their dynamic. The urgency of his youth was now gone, there was no war that made him fear his next day would be his last either. He wanted to savor every moment with her and let whatever happened bloom naturally. As he turned the corner, he heard a soft hoot above him. Was it a sign? He didn’t know, but it eased his doubts nonetheless. 

Inez watched as he walked away and disappeared into the crowd. It was only then that she was able to take a full breath, and allowed herself to lean against the building for support. She looked back down at the small bag of M&Ms and finally noticed the colors. Christmas colors? No, she smiled, they’re the colors of the Mexican flag. She then opened her Disney store bag and saw both Mickey and Stitch staring back at her. The old timer and the outsider. She bit back a smile and finally turned to go into her building.

Chapter Text

Inez almost melted against the door, her heart still racing as her lips still burned with his kiss. All those hints finally paid off! I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep this up. She pushed herself off the door and began to strip off her coat, absentmindedly unbuttoning each button as her mind drifted back to being in Bucky’s arms. She bit back a moan as she recalled the way his hands traced her body and his lips lit a fire in her that was still burning, making her wish she had pulled him upstairs with her. She shook her head. Bucky was a gentleman; she was sure he’d want to take things slow. She threw her coat on the bed and sat down to watch anything that would take her mind off the simmering ember in her core. Just as she navigated to her Netflix profile and selected Derry Girls, someone knocked at the door. 

She groaned and tossed the remote on the side table. She wasn’t in the mood to deal with a solicitor or with Mrs. Smith’s nagging about Inez not properly sorting her recyclables. But when she opened the door, what she found instead was Bucky, face flushed as he tried to catch his breath. The air suddenly felt heavy and charged with something that felt like electricity as his ocean blue eyes locked with hers. She swallowed back the knot that formed in her throat before finally choking out, “Did you forget something?”

Bucky took a step towards her, his breathing growing more ragged as he drew near. “Yes.” Bucky leaned down, crashing into her, kissing her desperately. Every nerve in her body overloaded, shorting all sense and trepidation as he devoured her. Soon, his strong arms were around her, pulling her in for a crushing embrace. Somewhere far away she heard the door close behind Bucky.

Just as her lungs protested, he pulled back, looking over her face for any sign of regret or rejection, allowing her a moment to float back down. It was clear in the way he kissed her why he had come back, so without saying another word, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him into her and kissed him again, her lips growing addicted to his touch and taste with each passing second. Desperate hands found the buttons of his coat and fumbled around until she freed him. 

The moment his coat hit the ground, she wound her arms around his neck and she felt him lift her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. Fuck, he’s strong, she mused as she sucked on his lower lip. Having a man lift her so easily made her core twist, while his hand gripping her ass made her moan. 

He set Inez on the counter, bringing them face to face. Bucky reluctantly pulled away, making her let out a small disappointed groan of losing his lips. He searched her eyes. “Please tell me you want this.”

She nodded, and rested her forehead against his. “I do,” she whispered. 

He picked her up again and looked around her apartment, like he was searching for somewhere for them to land. With Inez still lavishing bruising kisses on his neck, he walked towards her bed and laid her in the center, climbing over her. Inez parted her legs to make room for him and sighed at the feel of his weight on her. This is what she wanted. Him, close, touching and tasting her, driving her crazy.

He kissed his way down the side of Inez’s face, down her cheek to below her ear. He paused to lick and nibble at her ear before he continued on, burying his face in the thick neck of her sweater. 

Inez tried to focus on her actions, but his sweet distraction kept her from her goal of removing his clothes. She caressed and pulled at his hair, which he rewarded her for with groans of pleasure while he pressed his hips into hers. The delicious friction made her moan against his lips and yet it wasn’t enough. 

She pushed up his sweater and pulled the hem of his t-shirt free from his pants, guiding both it and his soft sweater up his torso and over his shoulders. Bucky sat up to take over and brought the garments over his head, his abs and arms and shoulders flexing. Inez couldn't decide where she wanted to look; she was greedy for every inch of skin he showed her. She reached for his belt buckle before he stopped her. “Fuck, I love what you're thinking, but I have other plans for you tonight.”

Undeterred, and with a defiant gleam in her eyes, she skimmed her fingers up his chest and across his wide shoulders. Her right hand traced down his left arm, tracing the intricate designs and articulations in the vibranium. She felt it warm under her touch and she shivered as the metal muscles moved under her palm. Bucky however didn’t seem to notice since he was busy running his hands up and down her stockinged thighs, getting closer and closer to her hips with each pass. When he finally reached the top band, he dug his fingers in and brusquely pulled down her tights and panties, dragging her toward him with the force. 

Inez’s whole body shook with the depth of her laughter, she was both shocked and riveted by his eagerness. Bucky let out a small chuckle, a beautiful, relaxed smile stretched across his face and crinkled the corners of his eyes. He winked at her. “Guess I should have thought that one through a little more, huh?” he said as he worked her tights and panties down her legs and over her feet. “Fuck it's been so hard keeping my hands off you today.” He crawled back up the bed and kissed her deeply, making her toes curl. “You’re so warm and so fucking soft,” he growled into her skin.

Inez whimpered as her core clenched at the sound of raw desire in his voice. She roughly gripped Bucky's hair, her manicured nails scraping his scalp and she pulled his mouth to hers, hard and greedy. Bucky reached down and pulled up her dress and slip, bunching her clothes at her waist. He left her mouth, leaving her breathless and weak, and moved down to settle himself between her legs. He kissed her belly, her hips, the top of her thighs, moving closer and closer to where she needed him. And then he stopped. He breathed hot and soft against her skin and Inez squirmed both toward and away from the sensation, clenching and shivering with anticipation. “James,” she whimpered.

“Hmm?” he hummed, deep in his chest. His nose traced her hips and he pressed impossibly light kisses at the top of her mound. 

Her grip on his hair, which had become tender and teasing when he began his descent, began to tighten. “I need you to touch me.”

“I am touching you, gorgeous,” he drawled, lazy as the day is long. He finally gave her a slight reprieve when he ran his cool vibranium finger up her slit and parted her, exposing her dripping pussy. “Fuck, Inez,” he said, reverently. He dipped his head and she lost him from view as he disappeared beyond the horizon of her dress scrunched up at her waist. 

She felt him brush her bundle of nerves with the lightest, most agonizing touch. She tensed, expecting him to then dive in and feast on her, touch her again, anything. But nothing happened. Not where she wanted it, at least. He had returned to kissing her belly and teasing her entrance. She bucked her hips in invitation

“Stop it, Inez.”

She stilled. “Go back,” she whined. “Please.”

He moved up the bed and dragged her dress up even higher, and dragged his tongue along the sensitive skin below the band of her bra. She shivered and squirmed, chest heaving with her frustration with not being able to see him and look into his eyes.

“I need you to get out of your head, so you can take the pleasure I give you,” he said sinfully, and emphasized his point by running his finger along her slit. Conflicting pleasure and annoyance clashed in her brain, and she gripped his shoulders, her nails scratching into his skin, leaving marks.

His head popped up and Inez rejoiced in finally getting a reaction from him, but her elation didn’t last long. “Are you going to behave?"

She paused, suddenly unsure what the correct answer was. "Do I have to?" she teased. 

He bent down and licked and sucked her nipple through the sheer lace of her bra. Inez gasped at the shock and he lifted her up, bringing her into his lap. He took hold of her hair, the simple braid a convenient leash for Bucky to control, and brought her face to his. “If that’s how you want to play it, I don’t mind teasing you until you’re begging for it, gorgeous." 

Inez squirmed on his lap while Bucky dragged her dress the rest of the way up over her head and down her arms to her wrists, keeping her wrists bound behind her. He pushed her back onto the bed and covered her with his body, leaning over her. “Think you’ll relax now?” he teased, then bent to kiss the tip of her nose. Inez shrieked as he brought his hand down on her ass, hard. The crack of palm against flesh echoed in the small space. She stared at him for a moment, his eyes narrowed and still, challenging her to object, his hand covering where he smacked her to soothe the sting. 

Holy fucking shit! her mind screamed, half excited and half anxious. But she one-hundred percent wanted anything he wished to give her.

He maneuvered himself behind her, moving them both to their sides, and snaked his left arm under her head.  She hummed in pleasure as he trailed his fingers over her hip and pelvis, to the inside of her thigh. So lightly, he brushed the curls covering her sex and her cunt clenched. She held her breath with a gasp, needing more, but then he grasped her knee and pulled her top leg over his, holding her in place with his strong arm. Her breasts, belly, and pussy were exposed to the room and he had her caged against his front, held in place by his strong arms. Despite being spread open and vulnerable in this position, she melted into him as her imagination ran wild. She couldn't anticipate what he would do next and the danger of it turned her on. She had never been touched this way or allowed herself to be so exposed emotionally…and physically, if she was being honest.

He softly traced the lines on her hips and belly where her undergarments had been pressing into her flesh and he felt her shiver and tense. “James, please,” she moaned desperately. “I need you to touch me.”

Instead of answering, he kissed her neck as he brought his left hand up to her breast and his fingers made slow circles around her nipples, touching her everywhere but where she needed. Bucky tweaked one aching peak, granting her a small reprieve. The bite of cool metal made her hiss and squirm against him and her skin broke out in goosebumps. 

“Please, I need more…” she whined. Her breathing had quickened, her breasts heaving in anticipation.

“Tell me what you want,” he breathed, his voice low and gravelly. She pushed her ass into his erection, feeling him twitch at her back. She did everything she could to tease Bucky with her hips, tits, and ass since her hands were still bound behind her, held in place by his solid chest. 

Bucky brushed his hand over the apex of her thighs and Inez’s eyes rolled to the back of her head. She stretched her body into his, trying to create friction on her own. “I want…” She swallowed and shivered while he continued to roll and pluck at her aching nipple. “I want–I want your fingers inside me.” She twisted around to look into his eyes. She was already ready to surrender to him. He met her lips with a wild, haphazard kiss while she felt his hand trail down her pelvis and through her coarse hair. He palmed her like he owned her body and took possession of her through his heat. She clenched and moaned. For every second he paused, she clenched and became wetter.

He began to softly curl his fingers through her folds, his groans vibrating against her back. As Bucky nipped at her earlobe and licked down her neck, she felt his fingers inch closer to her entrance. She was nearly ready to explode, to scream when he would finally touch her again. In her frustration, she started working an arm free, contorting and undulating, and then he suddenly pulled away.  

“Aargh,” she growled. Her arm was suddenly free and she grabbed his arm, digging her nails into his skin. 

“Ow!” he shouted. 

Good , she thought. She reached back and gripped his chin, “I said I want your fingers inside me, Brooklyn.”

He batted her hand away and wrapped his left hand around her jaw and brought them nose to nose. She fell into the depths of his beautiful eyes as he sank his fingers into her aching pussy and she moaned. Loud, and uninhibited. “Yes, ma’am,” he said before he devoured her.

He plunged his tongue deep into her mouth while he curled his fingers in her pussy, pressing against her, thrusting and massaging. Inez rocked her hips with his rhythm, encouraging him to go deeper. She desperately needed more though, and took advantage of her free hand to pull at her breast, pinching and teasing her nipple. She felt his groan before she heard it, just as she felt him grind his hardened length into her back. She wiggled against him, pushing back to tease him. “Hmm-mm,” he hummed, backing his hips away.

She jerked in his arms and her walls gripped his fingers. She was getting closer to her peak and just needed a little more to send her over the edge. “That’s it, gorgeous,” he whispered into her mouth. “I know you’re close.” He moved forward and changed the angle of his hand and stroked her faster and more focused on her g-spot. She was losing her mind at how adept he was at playing her. He plucked her strings over and over and she was climbing, arpeggios ascending, cresting.

“Yes! There!” she screamed. 

“You have to keep it down, Inez, don’t want someone to hear and ruin our night.” Bucky latched onto her neck and sucked. Her body sang for him, humming so fast she started to feel like she would shatter into dust any second and be scattered to the heavens. Because that is where he was taking her. She brought her hand to her mouth but continued to moan loudly through her fingers. He brought his thumb to her clit, swirling circles while continuing to thrust and curl and she finally felt the coil in her core shatter. Every fiber of her being drowned in pleasure, every muscle tensed as she rode wave after wave of ecstasy. Just as the pleasure became too much, something pulled her back from heaven. 

The loud shriek of her alarm scattered her dream into the recesses of her mind, and she sat up on her bed with a start. She looked around, sure that any moment her eyes would find Bucky looking cocky as hell for so thoroughly pleasuring her, but instead she found nothing but an empty space beside her. She grabbed her spare pillow and clutched it to her chest, her breathing still ragged as her body came down from her imaginary high.    

It was a dream?! She buried her face into her pillow, and for a brief moment, she swore she could smell a hint of sandalwood and leather on the crisp cotton. The cold sting of a tear running down her cheek made her sink further into her pillow.  Her mind reeled as she tried to accept what she felt was nothing but the product of her imagination. She had fantasized about men before, but never like this. She could still feel his bruising kisses on her skin, while her breast ached from his relentless teasing. She pulled the pillow away from her face and tossed it aside. The harsh realization that it was a dream began to chase away the lingering feel of his skin on hers, making her body cry out for a touch that felt like her birthright yet still remained foreign. 

She let herself fall back onto the bed, turning to face the empty space beside her, the sight of which cracked a fissure in her reeling heart. How could her mind be so cruel? How could it craft such a lovely gilded cage and tempt her to remain there with blue flame eyes and a touch that made her feel so alive? It was only a kiss, and yet it ignited something that terrified her. And what’s more, it all felt so real, as if she was reliving a moment that had never happened. But god, I hope it does. The aura of deja vu still clung to her like the heat of his phantom touch that refused to leave her skin. She closed her eyes, willing logic to soothe her fragile heart. It’s just lust. It’s been a few months, so of course you’re losing it. Yet there was a small voice in the back of her mind that whispered a sweet, yet impossible hymn. A taste of things to come. She shook her head. She had worked hard to leave behind the belief that dreams were glimpses into the future. That was what her family believed. But she was an academic, cold hard logic was her guiding light, not folklore and magic.

She flipped to the other side, twisting in her large comforter as she tried to drive away the thought when she heard something shatter. She sat up and turned to the floor to see her broken glass, the water twinkling in the morning light. Shit, I must have knocked it over with the comforter, she thought as she shifted to get a better view, but the sight of the large space between her and the nightstand made the hairs stand on the back of her neck. She swallowed and slowly looked up to the window, and there in the branches she saw something that made her blood run cold and chased any memory of Bucky away. A small owl sat staring at her, its golden eyes fixed on her, seemingly enjoying her descent into madness. Not again…

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Monday morning didn’t come soon enough for her liking. She was itching to get lost in her work and keep her restless mind occupied after she spent most of Sunday fending off more wicked fantasies and keeping her paranoia of seeing any more ‘signs’ at bay. Thankfully, there were no more sightings of owls on her way to work, although she did spot more than the usual amount of cats on her walk to the museum. Another shelter must have closed. She thought to herself as she passed by a curiously calm black cat that sat by the museum entrance. By the time she arrived in her office she already felt mentally exhausted and no amount of coffee seemed to lift her spirits. 

“How was your weekend?” Becca asked cheerfully as she walked into Inez’s office. 

Inez clenched her hand, doing her best to keep her temper in check. It wasn’t Becca’s fault that her mind had tortured her last night with fevered dreams of Bucky, or that her vibrator died and she couldn’t find the spare batteries. Crap, I need to remember to pick up those after work. She took a deep breath and turned to the picture of vibrant, hopeful youth and forced a smile. “Great!” she lied through her teeth.

“Did you go out on another date?”

She blinked to keep her smile from faltering. “Just did some sightseeing.”

“With a certain someone?”

Inez grabbed the file on her desk without looking and handed it to Becca. “Can you process these requests right away?”

Becca looked down at the title of the file. “This is an expense report.”

“Right, yeah, can you get that down to accounting for me and have them process it ASAP?”     

Becca huffed. “Fine, but you’re taking me out for drinks later. I had a shitty weekend and you owe me details.”

Inez’s eyes softened. “Did Derek call again?”

Becca sighed. “Yes, but don’t worry I told him to fuck off.”

“Good.”

“So I could use another girls' night to keep my strength up so I don’t fall prey to that handsome ass hole.” 

Inez chuckled. “Alright, but no tequila this time. If I can get through these files in the next few days we can go to that bar you keep raving about.”

“But drunk Inez is so much fun!” Becca winked before walking out of her office. Inez turned back to her notes and groaned when she saw that she still needed to finish reviewing Bucky’s interview recording. For fucks sake! She threw the notepad across her desk and sunk into her chair. So much for distracting myself with work! She opened her notes app and added a few more things to her shopping list.  

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Bucky tapped his foot as he watched the vet tech weigh the kitten, his anxiety was not helped by Smaug’s cries for help. Despite choosing the highest rated veterinarian in the neighborhood, he was still nervous. It had only been a few days since he found the kitten and he was already attached, he wasn’t sure what he would do if they told him he belonged to someone else or worse, that it was sick. 

“She’s a little underweight, but nothing a few extra treats won’t fix,” the young man said as he handed back Smaug to Bucky. The moment she was back in his arms, she settled and promptly began to purr. 

“Does she have a chip?”

“No. She's barely old enough to eat solid food. Most kittens are adopted at eight weeks. You said you found her in an alley?”

Bucky nodded. 

“The doctor will most likely want to test her for parasites, FeLV and FIV. Which means we’ll need to take some blood.” The tech finished making his note. “I need to take her to the back and run the tests.”

Bucky sighed, he didn’t like the idea of hurting Smaug, but he knew it was for the best. He reluctantly handed the kitten back to the tech, making her let out a high pitched meow. The sound of Smaug’s protests grated Bucky’s ears as he watched the tech disappear through the double doors. He walked back into the small exam room and sat down, opening his text app to find a new message from Inez. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Did you take the kitten to the vet? Is it okay?

James Barnes: Still at the vet. No chip. They are checking her out now.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: It’s a GIRL!🥰 Congrats!

Bucky smiled and was about to respond when Sam called. “Hey.”

“Are you free tonight to do some work?” 

Bucky sighed. “For the GRC?”

“No. A friend called in a favor and I could use some back-up.” 

“Okay. What time did you want to meet?”

“Send me your location and I’ll pick you up.”

“I’m at the vet.”

“Oh,” he could hear Sam sigh and he could almost see Sam rub the back of his neck. “This is time sensitive. Can you leave the cat at the vet?”

“No.”

“Fine. Send me your location.” 

“I’m not putting my cat at risk, Sam.”

“It will be fine. I don’t think Wong will mind.”

“We’re going to the Sanctum?”

“Yes.”

Bucky sighed. “Magic gives me the creeps.”

“Wong is better than Strange.”

“True, that guy is an ass.”

Sam chuckled. “Call me once you’re outside.”

“Mr. Barnes?”

Bucky turned to see an older East Asian woman in a white coat holding Smaug.

“I gotta go, Sam.” Bucky hung up before Sam could respond and pocketed his phone. 

“Everything looks good so far. Would you like to have her microchipped?” Dr. Patel asked as she set Smaug down on the exam table. 

“Yes.”

“Great.” Dr. Patel turned to a nearby cabinet and grabbed a chipping kit. 

Bucky immediately took his place beside the exam table, prompting Smaug to rush over to him and curl up against his arm. 

As Dr. Patel took her place on the other side of the exam table, Smaug bristled and began to hiss ferociously at the veterinarian. “I know, honey. But it’s the last poke, I promise,” Dr. Patel said gently. 

When Smaug realized the vet was not giving up, she turned and tried to bury her head into Bucky’s side, making his heart break when she started shaking. 

“Would you mind holding her?” 

Bucky frowned, he didn’t like the idea of holding Smaug against her will so she could be poked and prodded. His body shuddered at the thought of the terror she was experiencing. 

“I can have a tech assist if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Bucky sighed and picked up his cat. “It’s fine.” Smaug gave him a relieved look which made guilt roil through him. Smaug let out a terrified meow when Dr. Patel grabbed the scruff of her neck, so he pulled his dog tags out and dangled them before the kitten. The glint of the shiny silver tags captured Smaug's full attention, enough to get her to stop shaking. Bucky smiled as she followed the tags with her green eyes. 

“All done!” Dr. Patel announced as she let go of Smaug and set down the syringe. 

“Thanks, Doc.”

“Do you have any questions?”

“Not really.”

“Then Veera can help you schedule the rest of her vaccination appointments.”

Bucky turned to place Smaug in her carrier when he noticed Dr. Patel wringing the hem of her coat. “Was there something else?”

Dr. Patel took a deep breath. “I just wanted to say thank you.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “For what?”

“I lost my brother in the blip.”

“Oh,” he cleared his throat. “That was Stark. I just helped with the purple guy,” he said with a slight shrug. 

“I see. Well thank you nonetheless.”

Unsure he deserved any real credit, Bucky simply nodded and walked out of the exam room. After setting up the rest of Smaug's appointments, he quickly walked out of the vet's office to avoid the rest of the staff’s stares and whispers, and texted Sam. His friend soon appeared, talking on his phone to someone who seemed agitated. “I’m here with Bucky. Can you let us in?”

A round golden portal soon appeared with an agitated Wong in a gray robe waiting on the other side. “Well, come on, I haven’t got all night.” Wong said before he turned and walked toward a staircase.

Bucky rushed after Sam, doing his best not to rattle Smaug’s carrier as he stepped through the portal. “What the hell is going on?”

“Catch up, super soldier, and I’ll tell you!” Wong shouted from the top of the stairs. 

Sam and Bucky finally caught up to Wong and stepped into a large, museum-like room full of items in glass cases. 

“Don’t touch anything!” Wong barked as he walked to a large display full of golden jewelry. 

“What’s up his ass?” Sam whispered to Bucky. 

“Stephen’s foot,” Wong huffed, “when he finds out what happened.”

“ If he finds out, Wongers.” A woman in a purple Snuggy said as she sashayed through a door at the other end of the room. 

“I told you to stay in the living room,” Wong hissed as he entered a code into the glass case’s security pad. 

Sam and Bucky looked between the two, confused. “Are you two…” Sam gestured between the woman and Wong.

“Friends? Yes,” Wong said as he opened the case.

“Madisynn. Nice to meet more of Wongers’s friends.” She gave them a small wave before taking her place beside Wong. 

“They’re more like coworkers,” Wong mumbled.

“What are we doing here Wong?” Sam asked. 

“I think someone broke in and tried to take something.” He grabbed a pair of gloves from his robe pocket and put them on. 

“You think?” Bucky asked. 

Wong opened his mouth to respond but Smaug began to wail. “What’s with the cat?”

“I just left the vet and she’s pretty agitated.” Bucky shot back and lifted the carrier, taking the kitten out. “Where can I put this?” he shook the carrier. 

Wong flicked his hand and the carrier disappeared. 

“What the hell?” Bucky fumed as he secured Smaug in his jacket. 

“Don’t worry, Barnes. It’s back in your apartment.”

“You know where I live?”

Wong frowned. “Well it’s back at your building. Probably on the roof.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Magic…” he grumbled.

“The break in? Are you going to give us any details?” Sam crossed his arms. 

Wong sighed. “There was a power outage a few nights ago. I thought it was because of the renovations, but then the back-up generator also failed.” He motioned them over. “When the power came back on I noticed the camera to this room was on the floor.”

“You use cameras and not some kind of protection spell?” Bucky asked sarcastically.

“We use both, smartass,” Wong shot back.

“Someone is touchy,” Bucky said as he looked around the room.

“How would you like it if someone broke into your house?” Wong asked.

“I’d call the police,” Sam replied.

Madisynn laughed. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“And why not?” Bucky asked.

“Because we don’t want anyone to know something went missing. This room contains the most powerful magical items in the world. Any one of which can cause unimaginable destruction if used by the wrong hands.”

“But they are, like, super cute,” Madisynn leaned against the case. “That necklace would look amazing with the dress I’m wearing to the fight this weekend.” She pointed to a large gold necklace that looked like a slithering serpent. 

Wong sighed. “It is said to be cursed, Maddy.”

“You’re right…gold would clash with my silver clutch.” Madisynn said with a shrug. 

“So you want to keep the robbery under wraps, got it. What do you think they tried to steal?” Sam asked. 

Wong removed a gold necklace with a large round pendant from the case. “This.”

“What is it?” Bucky asked as he walked towards Wong, but as soon as he got within arms length, Smaug began to growl. 

“It’s a pendant of the goddess Mētztli,” Madisynn said casually.

Three dumbstruck men turned to look at her. “What? I pay attention when you geek out about magical jewelry, Wongers. I listen, because I’m a good friend.” 

Wong finally cracked a smile. “As Maddy said, it represents the Aztec moon goddess.”

“Why do you think they tried to steal the necklace?” Sam turned back to Wong.

“This display was the only one that had been tampered with. But there is also this,” he motioned them to get closer. “It doesn’t match the photographs we have in the archives.”

Bucky and Sam looked down at the necklace, then the picture that lay inside the display. “It looks pretty similar..” Sam commented.

Bucky picked up the picture from the case and looked it over carefully before taking another look at the pendant again. “The symbols. This pendant has a few more than the original.”

“Good eye, Barnes,” Wong commented. 

“So, why did they go through the trouble of leaving behind a fake if they didn’t bother to make a good replica?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know.” Wong shrugged. “That’s what I want you two to find out. Whoever broke in didn’t use magic, but they knew enough to avoid detection. This may be the work of a professional.”

Bucky and Sam looked at each other, making Wong sigh.

“You two have the connections and skills I need to figure this out. And I hope I can count on you to do it discreetly.”  

Bucky put down the photo and turned back to Wong, his jaw working. He suddenly recalled that Inez had worked on a dig looking for artifacts related to Mētztli . Must be a coincidence. He sighed, knowing full well that it usually never was.

“Alright, we’re in. But we need everything you have on the necklace, including where it came from.” Sam said. 

Wong nodded. “Of course, but you will have to view the files here. And at no point does this necklace leave the Sanctum.” 

Madisynn huffed and crossed her arms. “You’re no fun.”

Wong sighed. “I told you we can go shopping in Macau before the fight. Can you do me a favor and grab the file I left on the TV?” Madisynn clapped before prancing out of the room. 

----------------------------------------------

Wong paced back and forth behind Bucky and Sam as they looked over the file at a nearby table. It made the hairs on the back of Bucky’s neck stand on end, especially when Wong leaned over his shoulder and huffed. He finally sat back and began to rub the top of Smaug’s head, enjoying the way the kitten purred in her sleep.

“I think we have what we need to get started.” Sam finally said as he got up. “One question though. Do you know anything about the inscription on the pendant?”

“What does that matter?” Wong asked defensively.  

“I like to have all the facts before I go on a mission.” Bucky coughed into his hand, making Sam frown. “Well, as much as I can get.”

“It’s thousands of years old and made out of pure gold. Whoever stole it most likely will try to sell it on the black market,” Wong said as he crossed his arms.

Sam’s eyes hardened. “That is one possibility. The other is: someone stole it to use it.”

“Something about dreams, at least that’s what we could decode.”

Sam and Bucky raised an eyebrow. “I’m not an archeologist!” Wong threw his hands up. “So can you help?”

“Sure.” Sam walked over to Bucky and placed his hand on the grumpy soldier’s shoulder. “Going after stolen treasure sounds like fun.”

“Artifact.” Bucky corrected him. 

Wong nodded and opened another portal, golden sparks falling around them as the street outside of Bucky’s building appeared. “We’ll be in touch,” Sam said before he walked through the portal.

“Thanks, Wilson.” Wong said as he gave them both a wave. 

“Bye guys!” Madisynn said as she looped her arm around Wong’s and turned to him. “Let’s finish watching season 2 then binge Queen Charlotte!”

“Sure, but only because Tim is close to finishing season 3.”

“I knew he’d love Polin!”

“Oh my god, Maddy. Spoilers!”

The portal shrunk around the feuding duo, leaving Sam and Bucky standing alone on a dark Brooklyn street. “What the fuck was that?” Bucky asked.

“I don’t know. They said they were friends.” 

“I meant the mission. You really want to take this on?”

“Why not?”

“We’re soldiers, not magicians. Wong should really have Strange look into this.”

“We’ve fought magic users before.”

“Not alone.”

“Okay, fair. But this might just be a thief, not a wizard.”

“Sorcerer,” Bucky corrected him. 

“And besides, it’d be nice to have Wong owe us one. Never know when we need help from a Sorcerer.”

Bucky sighed. “Sorcerer Supreme, my ass. He couldn't even teleport the carrier to my apartment. I’m going to have to go look for it on the roof.”

“Why bother, he looks comfortable.” Sam gestured to Bucky’s jacket. 

“Yeah, she is, but still. Well, I should get her upstairs. I need to feed her. I’ll check in with my resources about the break-in. Let’s check in in a few days.” 

“Alright. Goodnight, Bucky.” Sam gave Bucky a hard pat on the shoulder. 

Bucky watched as Sam walked off toward the subway. Smaug let out a small mrow before letting out a long yawn. “Alright, doll. Let's go home.”  

----------------------------------------------

Inez jolted awake, heart racing as her body called out for Bucky. She did her best to choke down large gulps of air as the image of Bucky looking up at her from between her legs began to fade. Hand shaking, she reached for the glass of water on her night stand and almost downed it, but the cold water did nothing to cool her down. She grabbed the file laying beside her and fanned herself, sighing as the air soothed her hot skin. As she set down the file, a photo slipped out, and looking up at her was a young Bucky in his uniform, smiling. A chill ran through her as she suddenly recalled Bucky had been wearing a plain white t-shirt and tan trousers in her dream. Something she had never seen him wear. I must have been looking at the picture before I dozed off. She rubbed her thighs together, but it did nothing to relieve the pressure. She grabbed the file, put the picture back, and placed it on the nightstand. “This is why I shouldn't bring work home.” 

She looked out the window. Dawn was still a few hours away. She ran her fingers through her tousled hair and grabbed her phone, hoping that doom scrolling would lull her back to sleep. A small gasp escaped her lips when she saw a text from Bucky, which had been sent after she went to bed. When she unlocked her phone, a picture of a kitten sleeping on his chest with it’s paw wrapped around his dog tags appeared with the accompanying text:

James Barnes: Ms. Barnes had a rough day at the vet. She passed out the minute we got home. 

“Awww,” she tapped the image, liking it before switching to the Happy Color game, hoping to color her way back to dreamland.  

James Barnes: Why are you still awake?

Inez almost dropped the phone when the message popped up at the top of her screen. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Why are you?

James Barnes: I asked first.

Inez shifted uncomfortably in her bed, what was she supposed to say? I spent all night dreaming about you making me com– She shook the thought out of her head.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Stress, mostly. What about you?

James Barnes: My cat has decided to run a marathon around my room.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Aww, Ms. Barnes’s got the zoomies.

James Barnes: Is that what they call it? Huh. So, why are you stressed?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Work, mostly. I have a meeting with Dr. Miller today about my WWII project. 

James Barnes: Do you think he’ll shut it down again?

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: I don’t know, I hope not.

James Barnes: Anything else keeping you from dreamland?

Inez sighed. You. But she couldn’t confess that, not without making him run for the hills. She looked around her apartment, her eyes finally settling on her calendar. They were half way through October. A deep ache welled in her chest as she realized Día de Los Muertos was only a few weeks away. She had avoided the ofrenda in the museum's Mesoamerican display and turned down Becca’s offer to put up a picture of a lost loved one. The weeks leading up to November 2nd were usually spent fighting off bouts of depression as she felt the memory of her parents fade a bit each year. Maybe that is why she so willingly lept at the chance to be captivated by the handsome distraction that Bucky provided.   

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: You know how some people hate the holiday season?

James Barnes: Yeah. November and December can be rough. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Well it comes a little early for me, with Día de Los Muertos just around the corner. It makes it harder not to miss... She took a deep breath as she tried to find the courage to type those four painful letters.

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Them

Was this confession any better? She didn’t know, but her mind was tired from the lack of sleep and the drama her family forced her to endure had her emotionally depleted. It also felt safer to confess with a text than in person, she didn’t have to see pity in his eyes. Three dots appeared on the screen, flashing for almost a minute when they suddenly disappeared. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Ignore me, I’m just weak and tired. 

She sighed and put down the phone, feeling foolish for her moment of weakness. She laid back down and pulled the covers over her, forcing her eyes shut and hoping Bucky would forget about her confession, brushing it off maybe as nonsense from a tired mind.

Daylight by Taylor Swift suddenly began to play softly from under the covers and she flinched when she realized she had changed Bucky’s ringtone while coming down the high of finally kissing him. But now the soft melody sent a chill through her. Was he calling her to tell her she was too much? Was he calling to mock her for letting a holiday get her down? Everyone back home always admonished her for not letting go of a decades old hurt. She grabbed the phone, and with a shaking thumb, she answered. She waited with bated breath for Bucky to say something, because all the words were stuck in the back of her throat. 

“I don’t think you’re weak.”

The gentleness in Bucky’s tone cut through her defenses, she felt her breath hitch and eyes well with tears. “Right, just delusional from lack of sleep,” she quipped, hoping to throw him off her scent. 

“Inez,” she heard him sigh and her heart almost stopped. Here it comes, he’s going to tell me to get over it. “Loss is nothing to be ashamed of.”

She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks. “We don’t have to talk about this.” She wiped the next wave of tears from her eyes. “It’s late, you should be asleep.”

“I don’t think I can now.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

“You don’t have to be sorry, Inez.” She heard purring and shuffling. “I have vague memories of the Día de Los Muertos festival I passed by the last time I was in Mexico. It was so strange to see people celebrating death.”

“It’s a celebration of life.” She put her academic hat on, thankful to be given a shield to hide behind. “My culture doesn’t see death as the end. As long as those who knew you in life remember you, you can continue to exist. The end doesn’t come until you are completely forgotten.” She took a deep breath. “I also see the holiday as a beautiful example of how my people endured.”

“How so?”

“When we were forced to conform, we still held on to our roots. You can see traces of indigenous influences in the way we celebrate. Even when we were forced to forget where we came from, we still held on and created something new.”

“That’s a beautiful way to look at it.”

She shrugged, “I guess.”

“Do you believe those we lost are still around?”

She took another deep breath. “I want to, especially around this time of the year.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Which is why I should put out their pictures and speak their name. Fend off their final death a little longer.”

“Final death?”

“There are three stages of death. The first is when your body dies, the second is when they bury you. The final death is when there is no one to remember you or say your name.” 

She heard Bucky suck in a breath. “You have to say their name?”

“That’s what some believe.”

She heard him sigh deeply. “Can you tell me about them?”

“It’s late, James. I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Smaug wont settle down, and I’d rather spend my time listening to you than trying to count sheep.”

“I don’t remember much.”

“That’s okay. You’d be surprised what you can recall when you allow yourself to talk about it.”

“Wow, that's really insightful.”

“Yeah, every once and a while my therapist says something that sticks.”  

Inez smiled, impressed by how open he was being, and it gave her enough encouragement to share. “One of the clearest memories I have is of them walking on the beach.” She closed her eyes and she could almost see their silhouettes against the warm colors of an idyllic sunset. “I was maybe five or six and chasing after them. They were holding hands while my father sang to my mother.” 

Bucky listened as she recounted the few memories she had of her parents, asking questions here and there, but he mostly sat in silence. At some point, he told her to try to rest when she kept having to pause to yawn. She woke up the next morning with the phone laying on the pillow beside hers. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and looked down. The call was still connected. She could hear light snoring coming from the other end of the line, making her smile. He had stayed with her the whole night, letting her talk about a past she had a hard time making sense of. No one had ever done that for her. She had grown up being forced to only focus on the present. She debated hanging up, but something held her back. She shifted around in her bed, stretching and letting out a long, soft yawn. 

“Good morning.” Bucky yawned, and somewhere in the background she heard Smaug chirp. 

Inez grabbed her phone, bringing it up to her ear. “Good morning.” Even though her body was exhausted from staying up, something about waking to the sound of his voice invigorated her. The only thing that would make this moment even more perfect would be if he was lying beside her so she could turn over and kiss him. “Thanks for staying with me.”

“Anytime, sweetheart.” 

Saturday could not come fast enough.

Chapter Text

A symphony of music and voices swirled around him while vibrant colors almost blinded him, yet no one noticed him as he hid in the shadows high above the festival. A woman laughed, and it felt like a bullet to the chest. He turned towards the siren song and saw a cascade of dark brown hair, shoulders shaking as she let out another peel of laughter. He stopped and let the sound sink into his bones. A familiar rush ran through him, like he had won a prize. He always tried to make her laugh, bringing out a joy that shook her whole body. Turn around, turn around. The young woman finally turned when someone called her name, but at the sight of her lovely face, disappointment flooded him. He didn’t know why, he didn’t even know what he was expecting, but he just knew the shade of her eyes and the shape of her face wasn’t what he needed. 

Need. He never needed anything except to fulfill his mission. And yet something in the back of his mind managed to break through the static. A laugh that she reserved for only him. 

“Report.” His handler's voice sounded in Russian from his radio. “Confirm target has been sighted,” his handler barked. 

He looked around until he stopped at the stage. A young man in a crisp black suit walked over to the podium and removed a folded piece of paper from his jacket pocket. The young man cleared his throat and shook his hands, as if trying to ease his nerves. Bucky picked up the radio from his belt and replied, “Target sighted.”

“Engage.”

Bucky placed the radio back onto his belt and focused the sight on the young man’s head. Minutes later, screams drowned out the vibrant music as the political rival of the HYDRA-backed candidate fell into the crowd, dead. Bucky waited until the crowd dispersed before he got up from his perch high above the ruined festival. As he walked through the shadows, he let his eyes drift to the fallen skeleton puppets and bright, colorful tokens of death. It was among this strange place that celebrated what most people feared that he felt something. It was brief–so painfully fleeting–but for the first time since he could remember, he felt something. He paused before he entered the safehouse. He closed his eyes. Somewhere in the darkness of his mind he could make out a figure bathed in light, back turned to him as her hair flowed in the wind. Her navy blue cape and crisp white uniform were not enough to keep her warm. He wanted to rush to her and wrap his entire being around her and keep her warm and safe until death took him from this mortal coil. 

“What took you so long?” the young, brash soldier barked when he finally walked into the boarded-up apartment. 

Bucky said nothing as he unloaded his gear. He heard footsteps stomp towards him but he kept his focus on dismantling his rifle. 

“I’m talking to you!” The clearly annoyed young soldier grabbed Bucky by his metal arm, forcing him to turn around and face him. 

Bucky’s eyes narrowed. “Let me go,” he growled.

The soldier's eyes flashed with rage. “Answer the question.”

Bucky grabbed the man’s hand and began to crush it.

“What are you doing?!”

A wave of rage washed over Bucky, blinding him to nothing but the look of shock and pain on the man’s face. He kept squeezing until he heard bones begin to break. 

“Longing!”

Bucky’s will to crush the man’s hand slightly wavered, but he didn’t stop.

“Rusted, furnace, daybreak!”

The buzzing in Bucky’s head began to go up in pitch, making his head hurt. “Stop.” 

"Seventeen, benign.” The man howled in pain. “Nn…ine!”

“Stop it!” The buzzing became a high pitched peel that rattled his brain. It sent a jolt of pain down his spine that made his grip begin to slip. He closed his eyes and again the vision of her bathed in light appeared. He reached for her, desperately trying to hold on to her memory. It hurt like hell, but at least he felt something. He knew if the man continued he'd lose her again, and he didn't think his battered heart could take it. 

"Homecoming, one!" 

“STOP!” Bucky stumbled back, grabbing his head. “Please, I don’t want to….” He sucked in a shaking breath. “I can’t lose her, not again.” 

The soldier fell against the wall, breathing ragged as he cradled his broken hand. He looked up to see Bucky shaking and holding his head. “Freight car," he said through gritted teeth.

The shaking stopped, his breathing eased and the pain faded. The soldier watched as Bucky’s eyes went blank, blinking away the last of his tears before he stood up straight. “Ready to comply.”

The soldier pushed himself off the wall and punched Bucky in the stomach, getting a sick sense of satisfaction that Bucky had no power to fight back. “Go to the other room and wait there until we put you back on ice, you piece of shit.”

Bucky nodded and turned to leave, the buzzing in his head almost drowning out everything, but he still managed to hear the soldier radio his handler and say, “We need to wipe him again.”

A shudder ran through him as Bucky sat on the bed, the draft from the nearby window cooling the tears that remained. With the little self-control he still managed to hold on to, he forced his eyes closed and let his mind drift into the darkness. 

----------------------------------------------

Sophia’s laughter filled the cavernous stairwell as he stumbled his way up. “Grab my hand, not my backside to steady yourself, tonto .” She did her best to keep him from tripping, but the darkness made him feel like he was on a rocking boat and he had no sea legs. 

“Oops, sorry,” he said as he let go of her ass.

“No you’re not.”

Bucky laughed. “You’re right, I’m not.” He blindly reached out for her hand. “So where are you taking me?”

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Sophia smiled as she led a blindfolded Bucky slowly up the stairs leading to the roof. “Last step.” She tightened her grip on his arm, helping him onto the landing, and opened the door. 

Bucky smiled as a rush of cool air brushed his cheek. “Your surprise is on the roof?”

“Sort of.” She led him towards the middle of the tarred landing. She finally let go of his arm, took a step back, straightened her cloak and took a deep breath. “Alright, we’re here.”

Bucky quickly pulled off the blindfold and ran his fingers through his mussed-up hair. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the low light of the rooftop. He finally spotted blankets laid out next to a bottle of champagne and a plate of grapes, cheese, and crackers. “What’s all this?”

“Your birthday dinner.”

“Who told you?”

“I’ve seen your file.” She placed her hand on her hip. “Did you really think I’d let your birthday pass without doing anything?”

Bucky did his best to keep the grin on his face. It was obvious how much work and thought she put into their rooftop picnic and he didn’t have the heart to tell her he hated celebrating his birthday. The last time he celebrated was with his mother, who had pushed her ailing body to make him the most delicious cake he’d ever had. Celebrating without her never felt right, so he let the day pass without any acknowledgement of another year lived.

“I didn’t have time to chill the champagne.” She ringed her hands. “But Frenchie managed to get me a slice of Brie.” She smiled. “Do you like it?”

He walked over to her, pulling her into his arms. “I’m not worth all this fuss.”

Sophia frowned. “Yes you are, Barnes.”

Bucky flinched, she only called him by his last name when he messed up. “If you say so.”

“I do.” She pulled back, took his hand, and led him over to the blanket. The moment she sat down, he inched over to her and put his hand around her. “I know you miss camping–”

“Well, I live in a tent now, so not really.”

“And skygazing, so I thought we could eat under the stars while you tell me all about the constellations.”

Bucky kissed her temple. “As long as I get to hold you close.”

“Of course.”

Sophia reached over and grabbed the plate of food, scooping a bit of Brie onto a cracker and feeding it to the birthday boy. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you a cake or a present. I haven’t been able to go into town because of all the raids.”

“This is more than I could ask for, Sophie.” He kissed her cheek. “But there is one thing that could make this night perfect.”

“What?”

“Did you decide between California and New York?”

She reached over to the plate and grabbed a grape. “I don't know much about New York.”

“Alright. First, it’s the best city in the world.”

“I don’t know about that, Los Angeles is pretty amazing.”

“We have the best pizza in the country, amazing museums and architecture...”

“What do you do for fun?”

“After grabbing a slice, we’d go dancing.”

Sophia popped another grape in her mouth. “Okay, that sounds like fun, so far.”

“We’d go to a club near Coney Island, so we can grab a few beers after and go on the ferris wheel. The view from the top is breathtaking.”

“I’m afraid of heights.”

“Okay, then we’ll go watch a Disney short at the Nickelodeon then go for a walk on the beach.”

“That sounds like the perfect date.”

He took her hand, kissing the inside of her wrist. “And then we’d go home,” he planted another kiss further up her arm. “And stay in bed for a week.”

“Sleeping, I assume.”

“Maybe after.”

Sophia blushed. 

“And that’s just the beginning, gorgeous.” Bucky pulled her in for a ravenous kiss, his blood lit aflame at the thought of her in his bed back in his Brooklyn apartment. Maybe with her twisted in his bedsheets, it would finally feel like a home.

Sophia pulled away, turning from him to pull the plate closer to them, but he still caught a glimpse of worry in her eyes. He knew that look, it was the look of fear that always appeared when he talked about the future. “That sounds like a lovely dream, James.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

She reached for a grape and popped it in his mouth. “Eat up, soldier. Don’t want this spread to go to waste.”

Bucky sighed. He knew it was best to move on and he didn’t want to risk spoiling their night by making her pull away, but his patience was wearing thin. He had spent weeks trying to get an answer to his question. At this point, he didn’t care what coast they chose, as long as he was with her. Maybe she needed more reassurance of how serious he was about his intentions. Maybe she needed something tangible. I need to write to Rebecca and ask her to send mom’s-

“Had your fill?” Sophia asked.  

Bucky blinked away his wishful thinking and looked down at the plate. Almost all of the Brie was gone. “Yeah. Sorry, I didn’t mean to eat all of it.”

Sophia chuckled. “It was all for you, silly.” She pushed the plate to the side before grabbing the spare folded blanket and pulling it over their legs.

He looked up to the sky and frowned. “Looks like the clouds are coming, maybe we should go inside.”

“Give it a minute.” A gust of wind whipped around them, before bursting into the sky just as Sophia finished speaking. A moment later the clouds began to move quickly leaving behind a perfect velvet blue blanket of stars stretched above them. “Look at that, clear skies.” She said brightly as she quickly took her place beside him, but even with his added warmth, Sophia still shivered. Winter still had its claws dug into the early weeks of March. Bucky gently laid her down and wrapped his arms around her. He took a moment to marvel at the sky. In the chaos of war, he never took the time to appreciate that he was looking up at a new view of the heavens. He was touched Sophia had remembered his favorite childhood pastime, one he indulged in whenever he went to his mother’s childhood home in upstate New York. 

He spent the next hour tracing constellations in the sky for Sophia, sharing all he knew about the various myths etched in the heavens.

“That one almost stretches across the sky.” Sophia commented as he finished pointing out the last star.

“Hydra is the largest constellation.”

“I’ve heard that name before. Didn't Hercules fight a hydra as part of his twelve labors?”

He turned to look at her, impressed. “He did. The great serpent that regrows a head every time one is cut off.”

“They really didn’t make it easy for him, did they?” she quipped. 

“No,” he chuckled. “They didn’t.” 

Sophia turned to him. “How do you know so much?”

“My grandfather, Alexander. He’d talk my ear off until I fell asleep when I was a kid.”

“They make great bedtime stories.”  

“They certainly helped distract me.”

“From what?”

“My mother was sick.” He sighed. “And my old man got lost in his work to avoid facing the reality that we were going to lose her.” Sophia inched closer to him, taking his hand as he drew in a breath. “I was left to watch after my little sister alone.”

“James,” she said softly as she tightened her grip on his hand. “I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine.” It wasn’t, it never was. That wound still bled, he had just learned to ignore it. He kept his eyes fixed on the sky above and hoped she’d let the topic go. He felt Sophia move, until she sat up on her side and looked down at him.

“It wasn’t,” she caressed his cheek and her eyes fluttered closed. “You were a child,” she whispered. “His pain, his drinking, wasn’t your fault either.”

Bucky’s eyes went wide in shock. “How did you know?”

She opened her eyes, cheeks flushed and a look of panic as she opened her mouth but soon shut it again. Before he could ask again she leaned down to kiss him, overwhelming him until all he could think about was her. She pulled back and gave him an apologetic smile and looked away but he reached up and pulled her chin back to him. Even in the dim light her deep amber eyes shined with a sense of understanding he had always longed for. He could spend hours tracing new constellations in the flecks of gold in her eyes, weaving myths that would never do her justice but record how a mortal fell in love with a goddess. 

He pulled her over him, legs locking together as he pressed into her. She let out a small moan as he pressed his hardened length to her, and her wandering hand soon snaked down his chest until she wrapped a hand around him. “Sophie,” he moaned into her mouth. “If you keep this up, I’m going to–” he hissed as she pulled her hand back and began to unzip his pants.

“Second part of your gift, Brooklyn.” 

“Sarge!” The door to the roof flew open and Jim came barreling forward but froze when he saw Sophia on top of Bucky. Even with a blanket over them, he could tell he was interrupting them. 

Sophia carefully rolled off of Bucky and he quickly zipped his trousers. Bucky groaned as he slowly sat up and turned to Jim, glaring at his now bashful friend. “What is it, Jim?”

“Cap is looking for you. Frenchie got himself stuck behind enemy lines.” 

Bucky took a deep breath, willing his body to calm down and avoid any further mortification. “What the hell is he doing outside the base?”

“Volunteered to go scouting with Fuentes and the rest of his unit.” 

Bucky finally got up, helping Sophia to stand as well. “I’ll be down in a second, just give me a moment.”

Jim frowned. “We roll out in five.” he said before he turned around and left.

Bucky turned back to Sophia, even in the dim light he could still see the deep blush in her cheeks. “I have to go.”

“I’m sorry our night got cut short.” 

“Don’t be.” He leaned down and kissed her softly. “This is by far the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“It’s not over yet.” She gave him another chaste kiss. “I don’t like to leave things unfinished.”

“Only questions unanswered.” 

Sophia pulled back. “James, I want to answer but...” She looked down. 

The truck's horn cut through the night. “The boys are waiting for me.”

Sophia reached up, taking his face in her hands. “Be safe.”

“I will.” He pulled her in for one last kiss. As always, it was too brief. No matter how long he held her, it was never enough.

Another honk of the truck's horn prompted Bucky to finally pull away. As he reached the door, he turned to look back at her one last time. Bathed in moonlight, she almost glowed as her navy cape fluttered in the wind. She was a vision, one he did his best to burn into his memory. She gave him a small smile before she turned around, hair caught in the breeze. Before the temptation to run back into her arms set in, he opened the door and finally left behind the best gift he had ever been given. 

The end of the dream didn’t come with a violent jolt to consciousness or labored breathing, but with peace. Peace that he could finally recall Sophia without feeling unimaginable pain. He pet Smaug as the image of Sophia standing on the roof still lingered behind his eyelids. He still could not bring himself to say her full name out loud or talk about her. Her name was a sacred prayer, and he had sinned beyond redemption. He hoped with time and penance he would be worthy of saying it and hold off her Final Death for as long as he could. 

----------------------------------------------

Sam pushed around the piece of broccoli on his plate as he looked over the notes that were sprawled out on the counter as he and Bucky went over the break-in. 

“Any luck with your contacts?” Sam asked as he got up.

“Nothing yet.” Bucky finished shading the pendant he had drawn in the corner of his notebook.

“Hey that’s pretty good,” Sam got up and dumped his paper plate in the trash. 

Smaug bumped her head against Bucky making him look up. “Thanks. Anything on your end?”

“No one has tried to sell an Aztec pendant that matches that,” he pointed to Bucky’s drawing. “At least not yet.” Sam took his seat beside Bucky at the kitchen counter. “If someone stole it, they might try to take it to an expert to authenticate it or help translate the inscription.”

Bucky stopped rubbing Smaug’s head. “I’m sure there aren’t many people who specialize in Aztec antiquities, at least not in these neck of the woods.”

Sam nodded. “Few specialize in Aztec history and can read the language.” He rubbed his chin. “There are some who can at the Brooklyn Museum.”

Bucky sat up and rolled his shoulders, Smaug also turned to look at Sam and stopped purring. 

“Dr. Fernando Villa.”

Bucky let out a small sigh of relief.

“And Dr. Inez Garcia. She is considered an expert on Mētztli in some circles.”

Inez had crossed his mind when Madisynn mentioned the goddess Mētztli, but the idea she was somehow involved was too preposterous to even consider. Bucky grabbed Smaug and got out of his bar chair. “So?”

“She has a reputation for being savvy and knowing her way around places that most people stay away from. Dr. Villa hasn’t been in the field in decades.”

Bucky’s hand closed into a fist. “And you want me to interrogate her?”

“Just keep an eye on her. If she mentions anything, call it in.”

Bucky shook his head. 

“Hey, I’m not saying she's a bad person.”

“Right.”

“Oh come on, is it really such a chore to keep an eye on someone you can’t stop thinking about?” Sam walked over to his tense friend. “Do you think she might be able to help translate the inscription?”

Bucky walked out of the kitchen, needing to put some space between him and Sam, and walked over to Smaug’s new cat tree. “You said she could read it.”

“What I mean is, without asking too many questions.”

Bucky set Smaug on the tree, giving her another pat on the head before turning to Sam. “I don’t know.” He crossed his arms. “And I don’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position either. So for now, let's just keep an eye out and see if it appears on the black market.” 

“The trail can go cold if we wait too long.”

“I know, Sam. But I don’t want to do anything that can put her in harm's way.”

“I won’t let that happen, I promise.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

“Let’s take a break and go to Ella’s. Tap beers are half off tonight.”

Bucky sighed. “Fine.” He grabbed his jacket. “But you’re buying.”

“Alright.” Sam walked over to Smaug and offered her hand, which she sniffed but turned and went to lay down on the other side of the platform. “Man, she’s moody.”

Bucky finished zipping up his jacket. “She’s just a good judge of character.”

As expected, Ella’s was pretty quiet despite the half-off beers since it was the middle of the week. The corner of Ella’s mouth went up into a small grin at the sight of her regular customers. “You’re out late. Did Sam drag you out of the house?”

Sam stepped towards the bar. “Yep. I’ll have the usual and a basket of mozzarella sticks.”

“I’ll have a bottle of tequila, Cazadores Anejo if you have it.” Bucky added as he took his seat at the bar. 

“Fancy,” Ella commented as she entered their order.

“The fuck, man? I’m not paying for that! And since when do you drink tequila?”

“You’re going back on your word?” They stared at each other in a standoff. Bucky shrugged and looked at the mirrored backsplash of the bar. “I’ve always drank tequila.”

“In margaritas, maybe. And ordering Anejo, that's high-end stuff. Come into a windfall lately?”

“Rebecca’s lawyer finally sent the rest of the inheritance.” Bucky said flatly.

“Oh.” Sam’s glare disappeared. “Have you gone upstate yet?”

“No.”

“So what are you going to do with the house she left you?”

Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know yet.” He turned to Sam. “I thought we came out to have fun.” 

“We are,” he grabbed the beer Ella had set before him and raised his glass. “So drink up, buddy.”

A few glasses in and Bucky began to feel warm all over, but the buzz he craved still felt out of reach. He sipped his tequila slowly and enjoyed the way it burned down his throat. He closed his eyes and recalled the first time he had tasted the golden elixir, smiling as he recalled Inez’s flushed face and bright smile.  

“There you go again,” Sam said as he set down his glass.

Bucky opened his eyes and turned to his smiling friend. “What?”

“You’re thinking about her. You always get that goofy smile when you do.”

“Goofy?”

“Yeah. Well maybe not goofy, but it is rare enough that it kind of throws me off.” Sam chuckled. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and turned back to his drink. “I was just thinking about the time Red Wing got torn in half.”

Sam sneered, making Bucky chuckle. “Too soon, man.” Sam turned to the other side of the bar. “So that smile had nothing to do with her long, flowing hair, devastating curves, and dazzling smile?” 

Bucky turned to Sam, “What?”

Sam nodded towards the other side of the room where Inez and another young woman stood by the door, both looking around for a place to sit. She looked like a vision in a green flowing skirt and cream turtleneck sweater.  

“Did you know she was going to be here?” Bucky asked. 

“Of course not,” Sam got up and waved over to them, catching Becca’s attention. 

“What are you doing?”

“Inviting them over. I’ve been dying to meet the woman who makes you go all warm and fuzzy.” Sam teased.

“Fine, but no talking about the break-in.”

“I’ll behave.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay, I’ll try to behave.”

Bucky shook his head and got off his chair. “Right.” 

----------------------------------------------

“Is that Captain America?! And is he waving us over?!” Becca asked excitedly as she waved back. 

Inez turned to the bar, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of Bucky staring at them, at her. She could feel her face heating under his gaze. “Yeah, I think it is.”

“And he’s with Barnes.” Becca nudged Inez. “Should we head over and say hi?”

Inez bit her lip. While she was happy to see Bucky, the guilt of dreaming of him doing the most deliciously sinful things to her almost every night put her on edge. Seeing him now in the flesh made the memories of those dreams swirl in her mind, twisting her core until she couldn’t breathe. There was also the fact that she had bared her soul to him a few nights ago, which made her feel vulnerable. Fucking anxiety, pick a thing to freak out about already!

“Nevermind, it looks like they’re coming over to us.” Becca commented but Inez didn’t hear her over the sound of her heartbeat thundering in her ears as Bucky approached her. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as Bucky stepped up to her and gifted her with his adorable crooked smile.

“Hi,” Bucky said before leaning in to kiss her cheek. 

It took every ounce of self control not to shudder. “Hi,” Inez greeted him back.

Becca and Sam stared at Bucky and Inez for a moment, since they both seemed oblivious to everyone else. “I’m Sam,” he put his hand out to Becca who immediately shook it.

“It’s an honor to meet you, Captain America,” Becca said enthusiastically. 

“Call me Sam, please.” 

Bucky finally looked away from Inez and turned to Becca. “James,” he said as he shook her hand.

“James?” Sam asked, taken back. “Since when do you go by James?”

Bucky turned to Sam, glaring. “That’s my name.”

“Alright, Bucky. ”

“Which is short for Buchanan?” Inez asked, delighted.

“Yes,” Sam smiled. “And you must be Dr. Garcia. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Bucky has told me so much about you.”

Bucky felt his ears burn as his face turned red, both from embarrassment and anger. 

“Good things I hope,” Inez asked as she shook Sam’s hand.

“Of course. Would you two ladies like to join us for a drink?”

Inez turned to Bucky who was still glaring at Sam. “We don’t want to intrude…” she said quietly.

Bucky turned to Inez, confused. “You’re not.”

Inez gave him a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes, making him grow nervous. Bucky pulled out a chair for Inez, lightly brushing her shoulder before he took her and Becca’s order. When he returned to the table, Sam was already laughing at something Becca said. The moment he sat down however, Sam’s attention shifted back to Inez. 

“So, Bucky tells me you like going on adventures in the Mexican jungle, looking for treasure.” Sam commented. 

“Artifacts–” Inez countered.

“Artifacts.” Bucky corrected at the same time. He caught Inez’s eye and they shared a shy smile.

Inez cleared her throat. “I’ve found my fair share, but everything we find that gives us more insight into our history is priceless.” Inez answered politely. 

“Have you ever run into grave robbers?” Sam asked before he took a sip of his beer. 

Bucky coughed and shot Sam a nasty look. “Are you going to behave?” he admonished under his breath.

Inez swallowed hard as another memory from her dreams came back to her. She squirmed in her seat and tried to compose herself before answering. “Well, more like black market antiquity smugglers, but yeah, I’ve run into a few.”

“You have?” Bucky asked, suddenly alarmed.

Inez turned to him, a little surprised to see a concerned look on his face. 

Sam leaned forward, fascinated. “That’s awesome! Please tell me you used a whip to hold them off, or at least a gun.”

“Sorry no whip, and I haven't had to pull out my gun on anyone yet. We hire local security to help secure our sites.”

“You have a gun?” Bucky asked in an urgent tone. This conversation was not going how he had hoped.

“Yes.” 

“And you know how to use it?” Becca asked, glee apparent on her face. 

Inez nodded. “Yeah, I’ve been shooting since I was a teenager. My abuelo taught me.” Her eyebrow raised at the sight of the stunned faces that surrounded her. “What?”

Becca was nearly bouncing in her seat. “Should I learn how to shoot?!” she asked.

Inez shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe? But your focus is on medieval history, most of your work is done in a library.”

“True, but I was thinking about joining a dig next year. I might have to reconsider that now. I need to up my game!”

“You’ll be fine. Dr. Wallis knows what she’s doing.” Becca shrugged, lost in thought, and took another drink of her cocktail. Inez turned to Sam, who was smiling like a fool and Bucky who was now frowning. “What?”

“You’re like a legit Indiana Jones,” Sam said, shaking his head. “It’s just so cool.”

“Not as cool as being Captain America,” Becca chimed in.

Inez nodded. “Agreed.”

“Do you have a gun in your apartment?” Bucky asked.

Inez raised an eyebrow. “No, I left it back in Mexico. Why?”

Bucky picked up his drink and took a large swig, doing his best to tamper down his protective instinct that seemed to have been awoken by hearing about the dangers of her job. “Just wondering.” 

“Maybe you can take Dr. Jones to the range sometime, Buck,” Sam slapped Bucky’s arm, making Bucky’s glare turn to ice.

Despite her nerves Inez giggled into her drink, “Buck? That’s cute,”

“It is, isn't it?” Sam agreed. 

“Really Sam?” Bucky scowled.

“He’s just teasing, venado .” Inez quipped. 

While Bucky didn’t like being the center of attention seeing Inez ease a little tempered his ire.

“What does venado mean?” Sam asked.

“It means stag,” Becca chimed in.

Sam lit up. “I mean he is, look at him, all alpha male and muscle.”

Inez wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know about that, the alpha male thing I mean, not the muscle.”

If he could, Bucky would have opened a portal to another dimension and jumped in. He knew what Sam was trying to do, hype him up, but all it did was make him feel awkward.

“You two must be close to have given him a nickname like Buck,” Inez said to Sam.

Sam smiled, “Oh that wasn’t me.”

Bucky turned to Sam, trying desperately to tell him through his glare alone to not mention Steve. 

Sensing Bucky’s discomfort, Inez shifted the attention back to her. “In our culture, friends and family give each other nicknames.”

“Usually unflattering ones.” Becca commented.

“But it’s a sign that you’ve been accepted by the family,” Inez added.

“What’s your nickname?” Sam asked.

“ Princessa ,” Becca stated proudly. “I’m the youngest, so I was spoiled rotten.”

Sam turned to Inez, “And yours?”

Inez looked away then, mumbled, “ Golondrina .”

“Swallow, ¿como la canción?” Becca asked excitedly.

“No, because I’m small and flew the nest young.” Inez clarified. She sat back, somewhat stunned. It was the first time someone hadn’t assumed it was due to her height or her full figure, which she was endlessly teased about growing up. She knew the song La Golondrina well. It was written by an exiled Mexican physician during the French occupation of Mexico, who used the image of a migrating swallow as a metaphor for the longing someone in exile feels for their homeland. She recalled how her aunt Chel would sing it when she was feeling homesick and would occasionally sing it for her when she felt lonely, which was often. We're so close, mija. And yet it feels like we’re oceans away. Her tia would tell her after she’d finish singing. Dios, I miss her. She felt a tear begin to sting her eyes so she finished her drink and got up. “I’m going to get another drink,” she said, and left before anyone could stop her. 

“It’s a song?” Bucky asked Becca.

“Yes,” Becca watched as Inez walked away. “A sad one.”

Bucky tried not to dwell on the revelation, but Inez’s shift in demeanor from teasing to reserved and shy was getting to him. When she excused herself to grab another drink, he watched her cross the room, ignoring Becca and Sam who had fallen into a conversation about which was the best Indiana Jones movie. 

----------------------------------------------

Inez needed a moment to pull herself together. Between missing her aunt and her feelings about Bucky, she felt emotionally whiplashed. She placed an order for a shot of Hornitos, her tia Chel’s favorite tequila, and took a seat, closing her eyes. Recalling her favorite aunt and fending off the images of the dreams that haunted her and tempted her to stay asleep was exhausting. But what she found most vexing was trying not to look at Bucky, despite wanting to do nothing else. What is wrong with me? She sighed. 

“You alright?” Ella asked when she placed her shot in front of her. 

She opened her eyes. “Yeah,” she pulled out her wallet and began to pull out a twenty when Ella waved her off.

“Sarge already covered it,” Ella explained. 

Inez forced a smile and turned to face her friends, but didn’t feel the need to rush back. She needed a moment to herself, so she turned back around and took a sip of her tequila, hoping it would not only ease her nerves but ease the delicious agony of being around the man who had recently captured her heart. A heart she thought was too broken to love again. Love?! Inez shot back the rest of her drink and ordered another. 

----------------------------------------------

Bucky did his best to keep his attention on the verbal volley Sam and Becca found themselves in, but his eyes kept drifting to the bar and Inez. Something about her demeanor had alarm bells going off in his head, and he wondered if she was regretting joining them for a drink. When he noticed she ordered a second shot, he got up and quickly excused himself. 

“Hey,” he said softly.

Inez almost jumped at the sound of his voice. “Oh, hey.”

“Is the company that bad?” he quipped as he leaned against the bar.

“Of course not, I just needed a minute.” 

“Did the meeting with your boss not go well?”

You remembered. Could you be any more perfect? “No, it went well, actually. I’m getting the exhibit back sooner than expected.”

“That’s great!”

She smiled and nodded, but the smile still didn’t reach her eyes. “What’s wrong?” He placed his hand on hers, stroking the back of her hand gently. 

She was overwhelmed. That's what was wrong. She felt overwhelmed by everything she felt for him and the awakening of feelings she tried so hard to bury. The feel of his hand on her skin also ignited the memories of the dreams she felt almost guilty for having, even if she couldn't control them. Fears of letting herself fall for this kind soul aside, it was how vivid her dreams had become, how real they felt, how tempting they were, and what they could potentially mean that left her reeling. 

“Is it the conversation we had the other night?” Bucky asked.

“No, no.” She took a deep breath, trying to steady her traitorous heart. “It’s just been a long week. That’s all.”

“I did ask Sam about the files, by the way. So maybe that can help.”

“Thank you, it does.”

He leaned down and kissed her temple softly. “So, I’ll just have to make sure your weekend is much better.” 

“No pressure,” she teased when he pulled away. 

“None at all. With all this talk about Indiana Jones,” he said, nodding his head in the direction of their friends, “I was thinking we could have that movie night we talked about.”

She smiled softly at Bucky, and she could feel herself relaxing at his casual nearness. “Sure! My place, right?”

“Yeah, if that’s ok?” 

Of course it is, but having you alone with a bed close by is going to stretch my self-control to it’s limits. “Absolutely. Sounds like fun. But I’m covering dinner.” 

Bucky smiled. “You paid last time.”

“But you covered our drinks tonight, and I still owe you for that Uber.”

“You don’t owe me anything, really.”

“Yes I do.”

“I don’t do it so you can owe me, Inez.” Bucky said softly. “This isn’t a transaction.”

Feeling a little brave, thanks to the alcohol loosening her tongue she asked, “Why are you so sweet to me? You give me so much. Why do you take care of me like this?”

Bucky’s eyes softened. “Because I care about you.” 

The sincerity she saw in his eyes made her anxiety  that had plagued her all evening melt away. Having him care about her made her feel better than her tequila ever could. “You’re a good man, Bucky.”

He smiled at the sound of his chosen name coming from her lips. “You keep saying that.” 

“And I will continue to say it, until you believe it.” 

“That might take awhile,” he brushed a stray strand of hair from her face.

Inez almost lost her breath at the feel of his fingers gently gliding across her cheek. “That’s alright, eventually you’ll come to your senses.” 

Bucky chuckled. “Maybe.” Maybe not, since he lost all sense around her. 

She took his left hand and gently began to pull him to her. “I don’t think I ever told you that I had a really great time on Saturday. Thanks again for showing me around.”

“I did, too.” He was drifting closer and closer to her, his gaze alternating between her soft eyes and her plush lips, stained red by the heat radiating up from her chest. He wrapped his arm around her, blocking her from view from the rest of the bar. “While every moment with you is worth repeating, I especially enjoyed the end of our date.”

Inez breathed in, surrounded by his warmth and the sandalwood scent she was growing addicted to. “Mmm, what part was that? The M&Ms? That was so thoughtful, thank you, venado .” He rolled his eyes. “Ohh, you mean this,” she said and leaned in to capture his lips in a chaste kiss.

Bucky was tempted to kiss her and hold her in his arms for the rest of the evening, but he didn’t want to share her with the rest of the bar. He pulled away, placing a few pecks to her cheek. “Definitely worth repeating."

----------------------------------------------

“Look at them,” Sam said as he watched Bucky take his sweet time brushing back the hair from Inez’s face.

Becca turned to the bar and smiled. “I know, they’ve got it bad.”

“And they can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“I’m glad Barnes finally made a move. Her ex is trying to win her back and he’s crazy rich.” 

Sam turned to Becca, shocked. “How rich?”

“He’s a Cortez.” Becca pulled the cherry out of her cocktail and popped it in her mouth. “He sent her an Aztec bracelet to try to win her back! Who does that?!” 

“Was it a gold bracelet by any chance?”

“Yeah. I guess he regrets not putting a ring on it before he got blipped.”

“They were that serious?”

“Oh yeah. He proposed before he turned to dust, but Inez turned him down.” Becca finished her drink and sat back in her chair, feeling pleasantly buzzed and flushed. “Inez said he was a douchebag,” she grabbed a glass of water and took a sip. “But maybe he's changed since coming back,” she sighed. “And he is also pretty hot.”

“Fuck,” Sam whispered under his breath. 

“Yep, so better warn your buddy that Cortez is circling the waters. Not to mention, her family loves him, which gives him a leg up.” Becca giggled. “Oh shit, did I just ask Captain America to play matchmaker?!” 

Sam frowned. “Yes, but don't worry, I’ll talk to venado .”

Becca laughed. “ Venado , that’s funny.” She leaned forward and schooled her face. “Don’t tell Inez I said anything, or she’ll kill me.” She took Sam’s hand. “Promise me, Cap.”

“Your secret's safe with me,” He gave her a wink, which made the blush on Becca’s cheeks deepen. 

“You owe me a ride if you let it slip.”  

“I can take you up whenever you want, Princessa .” Sam gave her a charming smile but before he could make his move Bucky gripped his shoulder. 

“You two seem to be having fun,” Bucky said as he roughly squeezed Sam’s shoulder. “What did we miss?” 

Inez took her seat between Becca and Bucky, looking between what looked to be two cats who ate the canary. “Yeah, Becca, what was so interesting?”

Becca gave Inez a wide, tipsy smile. “He was just telling me about the GRC incident. I watched it on the news, it was crazy.”

“Pretty spectacular debut for Cap, wasn’t it?” Bucky gave Sam a small punch in the arm as he took his seat.

“I was just doing my duty,” Sam said as he rubbed his arm.

“Don’t be so modest, Sam.”

“So, wait–what happened to the old Cap? Did you have to kill him to get the shield?” Becca asked jokingly.

“Becca,” Inez groaned. “Oh my god, what is wrong with you?” 

“What about the bionic man over here? He freed the hostages.” Sam chimed in, changing the subject.

Bucky shot a grateful look to his friend. “I was just following your orders, Cap.”

Sam smiled. “That’s true, bet you learned your lesson after Germany.”

Bucky frowned. “We don’t have to rehash that.”

“What happened in Germany?” Inez asked. 

“Well first, he jumped out of the plane without a chute.”

“What?!” Inez turned to Bucky who was now glaring at Sam.

“It was only 200 feet,” Bucky assured her.

“Through trees,” Sam added.

Bucky turned back to Sam. “Point is, we figured out how to work well together.”

Sam nodded. “That’s true.” Sam put his arm around Bucky. “Now we’re thick as thieves.”

Inez smiled, while Becca giggled at the way Bucky was clenching his teeth. “It must be nice to work with your best friend.”

Sam and Bucky turned to look at each other, eyebrows raised. Bucky finally broke the tense silence. “It is, most of the time. He never lets me pick the music.” Bucky said as he let go of Sam’s shoulder. 

Sam gave Bucky a small nod, touched by his admission. When Steve left he never imagined befriending the grumpy assassin, much less becoming his wingman. “You had your chance, you refuse to expand your taste in music. I got tired of listening to 1940’s ballads.”

“Actually, Inez got me to listen to Folklore. It’s not bad.”

“I told you that months ago!” Sam argued. 

Bucky shrugged. “She was more convincing.”

“I’m sure she was.” Becca said with a devilish grin. 

Inez pushed another glass of water towards her clearly drunk friend. “Hydrate Becca, you wouldn’t want to wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” 

“Well what if I want my own Avenger to bring me breakfast in the morning?”

Bucky’s ears turned red and Sam slowly turned to face his friend head-on. “Do tell,” he said.

Inez jumped to the rescue. “Oh, leave him alone, Sam. It was actually really sweet,” she said and blushed a little. She couldn’t help but think that her face would be permanently red with how flustered she was this evening. “I, admittedly, had a little too much to drink one night last week–a rarity for me, mind you–and Bucky called an Uber for me…” Inez suddenly didn’t want to tell everyone about this private memory of hers. “And he checked up on me the next morning,” she finished.

Becca, for once, took the hint. “So do you guys hang out with the other Avengers often?”

“Eh, not really. Everyone has kind of gone off to do their own thing.” Sam commented.

“Like what?” Becca asked.

“Whatever needs doing, really. Most of us just went back to our normal lives.” Sam continued. 

Normal life? I’m 106 years old, I’ll never get close to normal at this rate.  Bucky sighed and swirled the golden elixir in his glass. Inez turned to look at him and upon seeing the light in his eyes start to diminish, she discreetly placed her hand on his left hand, running her fingers over the cool vibranium knuckles. She smiled when he turned his hand over, lacing his fingers through hers and let her move their joined hand to her thigh. It was a simple gesture, one that felt both new and as natural as breathing. And it was also thrilling and grounding. This little bit of contact was enough to finally put her at ease. 

“I can’t imagine just going back to a regular job after fighting off Thanos.” Becca commented. 

Bucky set down his glass, “But that’s why we fought, to give people a chance to get back their normal lives.”

Inez felt her chest swell with pride at the conviction in Bucky’s voice and how he rolled back his shoulders, sitting tall. “And now that you’ve saved the world, what do you want to do?” 

Bucky turned to her. “Live a life of service to others.”

She leaned against him, bumping his shoulder. “See, I told you. You’re a good man.”

Sam raised his glass. “Here, here.” 

Becca and Inez soon joined, making Bucky look away, unable to stand the attention. “Alright, enough of that.” He waved them off with his free hand. 

Inez shook his vibranium hand a little before placing it back on her knee, patting it as she did. She turned her attention back to Sam who began to pepper Becca with questions about her own academic journey but almost jumped when she felt his hand slip beneath the slit of her skirt. The cold metal left a trail of goosebumps in its wake as he traced small circles into her skin with his thumb. This man is going to be the death of me. 

“You hold a degree in counseling?” Becca asked, bringing Inez’s attention back to their conversation. 

“Yes, I used to counsel soldiers at the VA.” Sam responded and began to describe his work, but Inez was no longer listening. His words faded in the background as Bucky began to move his hand further up her thigh, his cool fingers pressing into her flesh. 

Even though her eyes were focused on Sam and Becca, she could feel Bucky’s eyes on her. She knew if she turned, she’d see his restraint begin to waiver as he slowly moved his hand farther up. Bucky chuckled at something Sam said, his fingers flexing as he did. Inez closed her eyes, silently willing him to keep going, her body begging for him to touch her between her thighs. “That’s it, I know you’re close…” Bucky’s voice echoed in her head, accompanied by a vision of a dark, shadowy walkway and the feeling of rough brick at her back, while pleasure coursed through her body. She opened her eyes at the sound of her glass shattering on the floor. 

“What happened?” Sam asked.

Inez looked down at her hand, the golden light was barely visible but it was still there. “I must have knocked it over.” She began to get up but Bucky stopped her.

“It’s alright, I’ll go ask Ella for a towel.”

“I’m sorry,” she kept her eyes on her hand, doing her best not to shake it and draw more attention to herself. Once Bucky was at the bar, she got up and quickly excused herself. 

“Are you alright?” Becca asked.

“Yeah, I just need some air.”

Inez almost ran out the door, collapsing against the exposed brick wall of the bar hidden under the shadows of a tree and she shuddered with the echoes of her vision and the vestiges of power tingling in her palm. “It’s nothing, it’s nothing, it’s nothing…” She whispered to herself, but she was convincing no one. They are 3,000 miles away, don’t let them fuck this up for you. They are 3,000 miles away, don’t let them… She let out a small whimper as she did her best to hold back tears of panic. 

“Oh my darling girl, how much longer will you keep denying what you are? The harder you fight it, the harder it will fight back.” Her aunt Chel had warned her, but like a stubborn fool, she didn’t listen. She didn’t listen when she fled their family home in Mexico under the guise of wanting a better education in the States, she didn’t listen when she went into that Mexican jungle, she sure as hell didn’t want to listen when her blood sang for him. Years of repression were failing her now, and she felt like a livewire. 

Hoot. 

She froze, ice running through her veins at the sound. Despite every instinct telling her not to look up, her eyes drifted upward and landed on a small brown owl. It’s golden eyes fixed on her, judging her.  

“Leave me alone.” she whispered but the owl remained. “I don’t want you here. Go away!”

“Inez?”

Inez froze, panic surging through her as she heard Bucky walk towards her. Thinking quickly she grabbed her phone and put it to her ear. “I have to go, Luce. I’ll call you later.” she said loud enough for Bucky to hear. She turned around, pocketing her phone as she did, hoping to sell the ruse. “Hey.”

“Everything alright?’

“Yeah.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You were yelling at someone.”

“My cousin, she can be annoying sometimes. She keeps pestering me to go back to Mexico.”

Bucky leaned a shoulder against the wall, facing her. “Well, it is home, isn’t it?” 

“Not really, not anymore.”

“Where is home for you then?”

“I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

Bucky placed a hand on her arm, rubbing it slightly. “My mother used to tell me,” he said as he  took another step closer towards her, “That home is more of a feeling than a place.” He brought his hand up to her face, caressing her cheek. 

She felt her eyes begin to sting. “Your mother was a wise woman.”

“She was. I’m sorry your cousin upset you.” 

“I’m feeling better now.” And she was. In his arms, she felt sheltered against the storm that was her family and her past. Bucky leaned down, gently pressing his lips against hers.

“Good. Tequila finally hitting you?” he quipped, noticing her flushed face and shining eyes.

“Maybe,” she teased. “Or maybe it's the handsome soldier who has been running his hand up and down my thigh all night.” 

Bucky let out a small chuckle. “I’m sorry.”

“No you’re not.” she bit her lip and he brought his hand to her cheek, pulling her lip from between her teeth with his thumb. 

“You’re right, I’m not.” He pushed against her, capturing her against the wall as he ravished her lips. The world went quiet, the only sound was their joined heartbeats, the most beautiful melody she ever heard. Her body ignited, her hands warmed until they almost burned, but she brushed away the last of her concerns. Her body wanted this, her blood wanted this. It called to him and he answered. Decades of denying her birthright fell away as he began to lavish her neck. Unable and unwilling to hold herself back any longer, she closed her eyes and finally let herself feel it. A small moan escaped her as Bucky began to suck on her skin and at that very moment all the leaves from the tree fell around them, despite the lack of wind. A small hoot sounded once the tree stood bare. 

Bucky pulled away and looked up. “That’s strange. I didn’t feel any wind.”

She grabbed his hand. “Let’s go back inside. We don’t want Sam and Becca to think we ran off to--”

“Have our own fun?”

She giggled. “Yeah.”

“Plenty of time for that later.” He gave her another peck on the cheek. 

“I can’t wait.”

----------------------------------------------

They called it quits a few hours later and a part of Inez was relieved. Bucky hadn’t relented in his attentions to her thigh and her core was so twisted she felt another light brush of his hand might make it snap. There was also the fact alcohol made it harder to control her emotions that only amplified her awakening abilities. When her ride finally arrived, Bucky walked Inez over to the waiting blue sedan. She paused before opening the door and turned to him. “Good night, Bucky.”

“Not venado ? he pouted.

She giggled. “Alright, goodnight mi venado .” She should have felt mortified to have called him hers, but nothing mattered when he looked at her like that.

“Ride’s here, Buck!” Sam called out from the other end of the street. 

Bucky grabbed her by the waist, pulling her in for an intoxicating good night kiss. He watched as Inez’s ride merged into traffic, ignoring his own car and Sam’s calls to hurry up. When he finally walked over to Sam, his irritated friend shook his head.

“What?” Bucky asked. 

Sam shook his head. “Get in, Don Juan. We need to talk.” 

Chapter Text

Bucky sighed as he rummaged around his closet, wearing nothing but dark wash jeans, while looking for the perfect shirt to wear for his date with Inez.

“Your lack of colorful wardrobe coming back to bite you in the ass?” Sam asked on the other line as he crunched on something, chips probably.

“I wear color.” Bucky frowned. “I’m just looking for something more casual.” And something comfortable enough to entice her. Something soft maybe, that would tempt her to reach out and touch him. He was desperate for more of her, for the feel of her skin on his and he wanted to look as inviting as possible. 

“You’re overthinking it,” Sam said as he continued to chew.

Bucky walked between the living room and bedroom, seemingly in circles, searching for something, but finding nothing. 

Mrow. Smaug jumped onto his dresser and blinked. He finally found a shirt, his trusty gray Henley, that might fit the bill, lifting it out of his dresser and turning to his fashion critic. "What do you think? This one?"

Mrow! Smaug blinked then promptly turned her tail at him. 

“Did you just let your cat dress you?” 

“She has good taste.” Bucky said once he finished pulling his shirt over his head.

“Have you given any thought to what I said?”

Bucky huffed. “I’m not searching her place, Sam.”

“I've looked through the museum archives and they only have one item donated by Cortez.”

“How did you do that?”

“Becca gave me access.”

“She did?”

“Well, not knowingly. I cloned her phone after we met for coffee yesterday.”

“You what?!”

“This lead was too good to pass up.”

“She’s my girl's best friend!”

“Your girl?” He could almost see Sam smile by the smug tone of his voice.

“You violated Becca’s trust, I am not doing that to Inez. I already told you, I don’t want her anywhere near this. You should focus on Cortez.”

Sam huffed. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“That you’re threatened by her rich, handsome ex.” Sam sighed. “I’ve tried to get a meeting with him, but he’s impossible to get to.”

“Keep trying.”

“Oh, I will, but that doesn’t mean we can’t follow up with our other lead in the meantime.”

“Fine, I’ll ask Inez about the damn bracelet, just not tonight.”

“And why not?”

Bucky grabbed a belt and began to loop it through his jeans. “It’s date night.”

“Your third one, right?”

“Yeah.” Bucky walked out of his bedroom and headed towards the bathroom. 

Sam chuckled, “You nervous?”

“Why would I be?” He looked over his reflection, leaning closer to the mirror above his sink, frowning at the obvious wear he had endured over his over extended life. He felt a twinge of self-consciousness sink its fangs into him, so he closed his eyes. The thought of her radiant smile warmed him to the bone. You’re a good man, Bucky, she had told him, and lord he desperately wanted to believe it. It had been a long time since he was this nervous, especially about a girl. Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, he grabbed his cologne and spritzed the air, letting the cloud of sandalwood and leather cover him.

“It’s the third date, man and it’s at her place, so there is a good chance you two might–”

“I don’t know how things are done now, but I’m a gentleman.” Without looking, he reached down to the sink, but his finger met only porcelain and came up empty-handed. He turned to the living room, where Smaug had taken her place by her bed. 

"Smaug." He walked over to the kitten and inspected her hoard while she watched him with wary eyes. Her ears slowly flattened against her head as he grew closer to her newly acquired prize as Bucky spotted a glint of silver under the cat's rump. 

"You have something I need." The tiny cat growled, but Bucky continued to slowly reach until he pulled the chain of his dog tags out from under Smaug. She would not let go of her prize quietly, however, and she attacked him, her razor sharp kitten claws and tiny fangs skidding off his vibranium hand. He had learned the hard way to always be armed when he needed to dare rob the vault. As he slipped it over his head and down the front of his shirt, she yowled as loud as her tiny body would allow. "Yeah, yeah, tell it to someone who cares."

“Gentleman, my ass, you couldn’t keep your hands off her at the bar!” Sam exclaimed over the noise of Smaug protesting. 

“You are not really getting me in a helping mood, Sam.” Bucky said as he sat down on his chair.

“Yeah I know, helping is the last thing on your mind tonight, Buck.” Sam let out another irritating chuckle. 

“Give me some time to work up to the ‘Hey your ex might have stolen an ancient magical relic to win you back’ conversation,” Bucky said as he pulled on his boots.

“Fine. I trust you to work your magic.”

Bucky could almost see Sam wink, making his blood boil a bit, but another breath cooled him off. “Just give me a few days before you do anything stupid.” He wasn’t going to let anything ruin tonight for him. 

“Fine, besides you don’t need any help getting into a mess from me.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, buddy.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I have to go, Sam or I’ll be late.”

“Alright. Well, have fun!”

“Bye Sam.” Bucky quickly took off his airpods, throwing them on the side table before grabbing his phone and pocketing it. He got up to grab his coat from the hook on the wall before reaching for the shopping bag full of some snacks for the night, but Smaug popped up onto the counter, blocking him. "Fine," he said, reaching up to the cabinet for the cat treats. He gave her a much larger pile than he knew he ought to and spent a few moments petting Smaug's soft head. 

He was about to turn to leave when he suddenly remembered he had forgotten something and rushed back to his bedroom, with Smaug in tow, meowing as she followed after him. "It'll only be for the evening. I'll be back by bedtime. Or..." He grabbed his wallet from the top of the dresser. "Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself, but there may be a slim chance I don't make it home tonight." 

Smaug chirped.

"Hmm. You're right." Smaug watched as Bucky disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared with a couple of condoms, which he placed in the billfold of his wallet. "Best to be prepared." Conversing with his cat had quickly become second-nature, and he sometimes wondered if his neighbors thought he had gotten a roommate.

Smaug walked over to her hoard of toys and shiny objects, grooming herself as she watched her nervous owner ready himself to leave. Bucky gave her one last pat on the head, making her purr. "Later, doll.”

Bucky bounded down the stairs, his heart feeling as if it might float out of his chest. Shit, he had even started whistling until one of his neighbors gave him a strange look. For once, it felt like things were looking up, and he struggled to keep a smile off his face as he exited the building and headed towards Inez’s place.

-----------------------------------------------------

Inez hated rushing, but after getting all the needed ingredients after work and taking longer than she expected to prep the meatloaf and form it into the all-important loaf shape, time seemed to fly by as she got ready for her date with Bucky. After a quick shower, she grabbed her dusty-rose, heavy charmeuse wrap dress that had been carefully picked and laid out the night before. The feel of the silk fabric felt sinful against her skin as she wrapped it over her lace bra and panties, which had also been carefully selected just for tonight’s occasion.  

Inez walked over to the large mirror beside her vanity, admiring her curves from a few different angles. Bucky is going to lose his mind , she thought as she admired her reflection. A quick swipe of eye shadow, some mascara, and some tinted lip gloss was all the outfit needed to be complete. Last, but not least was her turquoise necklace, which she carefully placed over her head, arranging the pendant between her cleavage. She didn’t need much adornment since the dress would be doing all the heavy lifting. 

She quickly ducked into the bathroom to find the last item to finish off her outfit. She took a deep breath, lifted her hand and reached out to the small bottle of rolling perfume sitting on the small vanity. It took a moment but then she felt it, the pull. The small glass bottle practically jumped off the vanity but she managed to catch it before it shattered on the floor. Man, I'm rusty. She rolled perfume on her wrists and added a stripe down her cleavage. For luck.

All dressed up, she rushed back to the kitchen. After throwing on a clean apron, a white one with hand embroidered flowers adorning the hem–a gift from her tia Chel–she popped the meatloaf in the oven. She was feeling rather confident about her meatloaf–the Good Housekeeping recipe had thousands of 5 star reviews–but for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why someone would baste what is basically a roast with ketchup. She just hoped the reviews were legitimate. She hummed merrily around the kitchen, heart singing in anticipation, as she gathered her ingredients and necessary tools for the rest of their meal. A small white bowl practically flew into her hand as she reached it, a jolt of excitement running through her as it landed in her hand. She was glad to know that despite decades of repression her gift was still there. She just hoped that she could keep it under control while Bucky was around, the last thing she wanted to do was scare him away. Before she could dwell on the matter, the buzzer sounded. She quickly set down her knife and rushed over to the intercom. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm here for my date with a beautiful archeologist?"

Heat flooded Inez's cheeks at the sound of Bucky’s voice. "I think I have an opening this evening. Come on up." She held the unlock button for a few seconds, then rushed back into the kitchen to strip off her apron and check her reflection in the glass oven door.

Bucky knocked loudly–a little too loudly–in his enthusiasm and took a deep breath, doing his best to calm the butterflies that had decided to erupt in his stomach. The moment Inez opened the door Bucky's jaw dropped to the floor. She looked absolutely stunning. Soft, gorgeous and lush. Was she wearing a robe? No, it's too nice to be a robe, he thought as his eyes roamed over every inch of her dress. His fingers twitched. He couldn't help but think that one tug of that tie and she would unwrap for him like a present. The color was absolutely beautiful against her golden skin, the shade matched the flush that had spread up her neck to her smiling cheeks.

"Hello, sweetheart," he said, after what may or may not have been an eternity of staring.

Inez was having trouble forming words. Bucky looked devastatingly handsome . The form-fitting heathered Henley as pulled tightly over his broad chest, accentuating every hard edge. His look was topped off with soft worn jeans and a leather jacket. He looked so casual and cozy that she wanted to bury herself in his arms and explore every inch of him. Down girl. Dinner first. "Hi, there," she finally said once she came back to her senses.

He placed his bag on the floor and wrapped his metal arm around her, going in for a kiss, but his cold vibranium hand sent a shiver through her.

"Shit–sorry," he said, switching arms, unwilling to let go of her. "I didn't want to wear my gloves and I guess I didn't notice how cold my hands were."

She took his obsidian hand and held it between hers, bringing their joined hands closer to her chest. She breathed on his hand and rubbed it between her palms. "Better?"

"Much." He bent down to give her a chaste, but lasting kiss. She smiled and hummed into his lips, a delicious warmth spreading through her body, making her want to melt into his embrace. 

They finally broke apart and walked over to the kitchen, where Bucky placed his bag on the counter and removed his jacket. "You're cooking? Oh, I thought we would get some take out or something.” He said after he surveyed the domestic mess in the kitchen. “I only brought popcorn. And this–" Bucky lifted a bottle of Cazadores out of his shopping bag.

"Perfect!" she said. "I'm not sure what is usually paired with meatloaf, but I know this goes with everything!"

Bucky froze. "Meatloaf?"

"Mm-hmm." She uncorked the tequila and found some shot glasses in an upper cabinet, but they were stored up a bit high, since she didn't use them often. Bucky was suddenly behind her, one arm around her waist while the other reached overhead to retrieve the glasses. He put them down in front of her and pulled her into his arms.

"You're making me meatloaf?" he said, his voice low, shooting currents of electricity down her body and straight to her core.

"No, I'm making it for the sexy guy downstairs who's on his way up for a date with a pretty archaeologist."

"Beautiful archaeologist," he gently corrected her. 

"Right," she said, turning in his arms. She walked her fingers down his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt. "So you better scram before he gets here."

"I can take him."

She raised her dark eyes to his, feigning shock, "You'd fight for me?"

"Make no mistake, I'll go to hell and back for a woman who makes me meatloaf." He pulled her in to him and kissed her, then peppered little kisses along her cheek to her ear. 

“Good to know.” Inez sighed. God, how did she get so lucky? Her body sang for him, shivering in anticipation, wanting more. At the same time it felt right to be held in his arms and lavished by his lips. "I remember you said you liked it. I’m also making mashed potatoes." He kissed below her ear. "And gravy." He bit at her neck. "And roasted carrots." He sucked at his bite. 

"Fuck, how do you make root vegetables sound so sexy?"

She shrugged, "It's a gift." He kissed down to her collarbone and Inez reluctantly pulled away. She placed a hand on his chest to hold him back, but became slightly distracted by the soft shirt and taut muscles under her fingers. A press of her hand against him to make him stay turned into a bit of a caress before she bumped him out of her way with her hip. "You need to get out so I can finish making dinner. The meatloaf will be about forty minutes, so unless you want to be pressed into service, I have work to do."

"I'm here to serve you, sweetheart. What do you need?"

She eyed him up and down, reserving her indecent thoughts for later. "I still need to slice the carrots and peel potatoes."

"Peel potatoes? You know I was in the army, right?"

She rolled her eyes and shoved a black apron and a vegetable peeler into his hands. "Then to your station, soldier."

"Yes, ma'am," he said and winked at her.

Inez stopped breathing for a moment. The memory of her vivid dream rushed back to her and made her squirm. Scenes flickered behind her eyes of kisses and ocean blue eyes above her; him saying "yes ma'am" as he plunged his fingers into her. She couldn't move for a moment–her legs went weak as she grew more aroused by the second. She clenched her thighs together both to chase the sensation and dispel it. Somewhere in the background she heard the glasses rattle on the counter top, but her lust filled haze kept her focus on Bucky. 

"Inez, are you alright?" Bucky paused with the peeler in hand, brows drawn in concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost.”

"I'm fine. I'm good. Never better. I’m going to go grab something from the pantry," she sputtered. She forced a smile, grabbed her own apron and walked into the pantry to catch her breath. The moment she was alone, she looked down at her hand to see sparks burst under her skin. Shit, can we not do this right now?! 

“Should I put a pot to boil for the potatoes?” Bucky asked as he walked into the pantry. 

She quickly hid her hand behind her back. “Sure, go ahead.” 

“What are you hiding?” 

“Nothing?”

Bucky gave her a wicked smile before he grabbed her waist and pulled her toward him. “Please tell me you found garlic powder.” He pressed an achingly soft kiss to her neck. “I’ll need it for the potatoes.”

Inez closed her eyes and called out, opening her hand until she felt a small bottle in her palm. “You read my mind,” she whispered as she held up the bottle. 

Bucky finally pulled back. “I wish.” 

The rest of the food prep went smoothly, even though Bucky’s gentle and persistent touches kept distracting her. She almost lost her concentration and resolve when he passed her a shot of tequila and he wrapped his arm around hers as they drank together.

When the timer she set to finish off the meatloaf sounded, Inez took the ketchup out of the cupboard. She searched for a small bowl and a brush, but Bucky stopped her with a gentle hand on her arm.

He gave her a serious look, "I know what you're about to do, and I need to stop you from making a grave mistake."

A jolt of panic surged through her. "Oh no, did I do something wrong?"

"No," he smiled. "But you were about to." He took the ketchup and walked back to the pantry. "I know a lot of traditional recipes have you douse the meatloaf in ketchup, but that just gets sticky and it's too sweet. Especially when we are already having roasted carrots. Your choice of sides is amazing, by the way," he quickly assured her, "but I have a better idea." 

He returned from the pantry with a can of diced tomatoes. "Warm these up on the stove and serve this with the meatloaf. The acid will cut through all the heavy flavors."

"Aye, Sergeant," she said cheekily, and lifted up on her toes to kiss his cheek. She turned to the stove to follow his instructions and missed the heat in Bucky's eyes and the shiver that cascaded down his spine.

When the meal was ready, Bucky moved to start setting the serving dishes on the table, but Inez pointed to the couch. "Nope. It's movie night and this is a tv dinner." She pulled two tv trays out from beside the couch, making Bucky smile, the sight of which warmed her heart.

Bucky carefully placed both plates on their trays while Inez carried over two ice cold beers. "This is like a magazine ad from the 50s," he said as he took his seat and she placed the beer in front of him.

Inez giggled. "Welcome home, dear," she said as she kissed the top of his head before she walked over to the TV. "Hmm, maybe I should have worn my cocktail dress and crinoline with some stockings with seams up to complete my look," she mused.

"That, I've got to see."

"Play your cards right and you just might someday." She said as she took a seat beside Bucky.

Bucky watched her intently as she went in for her first bite, holding his own bite of food mid air as he waited for her reaction. Not only was this dish his childhood favorite, but a source of comfort. It had remained the same while the whole world had changed around him and he desperately wanted Inez to like it, as though it were tied to her affection for him. Please like it.

"Wow, this is really good!" she said, surprise evident on her face. "It's like a hamburger, but..." she went in for another bite, "It's so much more complex."

He smiled as though she had complimented him personally and not her own cooking. He finally bent to take a bite as well. He was impressed. For her first loaf, it was really tasty and cooked perfectly; it was tender and the seasonings were fantastic. He groaned at the salty umami flavors and the bright burst of acid from the tomatoes. "Inez. This is amazing. Thank you. I really didn't expect you to cook tonight and you've completely spoiled me."

She sat speechless and blushed to the roots of her hair. This man sure knew how to make her feel invincible.

They continued to eat in companionable silence while they watched Indy desecrate a South American temple as he stole a fertility idol.

"He doesn't seem very respectful. Or ethical," Bucky pointed out.

"He definitely walks the fine line between grave robber and archaeologist. I mostly like his swagger."

"His swagger, huh?"

"Yeah! Just look at him! He's so charismatic and sure of himself." She looked over her shoulder at him. "Reminds me of someone," she said as she batted her lashes.

Bucky raised his dark eyebrows in mock surprise and pointed at his chest. “Who, me?” 

Inez hit him with a throw pillow. “You’re right, that does sound more like Sam.” 

Bucky playfully narrowed his eyes at her over his beer as he took a drink and Inez erupted into giggles. She loved seeing this side of him. It was as though he had shed years of stress as he stepped over her threshold. Seeing him at ease and having fun made her want to do anything to keep him smiling.

Despite how delicious her first meatloaf had turned out, they both ate quickly to get the barrier between them out of the way. After Indy had been given his assignment to find the Ark of the Covenant, they paused the movie to do away with their dishes. Ever the gentleman, Bucky carried away their dishes to the kitchen and put away their trays. Without preamble and moving like he had done this with her a thousand times, Bucky wrapped his arms around Inez’s waist and slid her across the couch to his side. He stacked his long legs onto the coffee table and draped her soft sherpa blanket over the two of them, creating a cozy cocoon. She tucked her feet to the side and leaned heavily into Bucky’s warmth. She couldn’t help but close her eyes and bask in his attention, listening to the movie and Bucky’s reactions to Indy’s hijinks.

She was amazed how comfortable he had become around her. Gone was the withdrawn, shy soldier she first met at the VA. Now he traced small circles on her hip and would occasionally lean down to inhale her scent or squeeze her side a little bit, like he was testing that she was real and actually beside him. She knew exactly how he felt. The last few weeks had been like walking through a dream. Inez had never been so enchanted or enamored with another person before. He was the first thing on her mind when she woke up and the last thing she thought about before drifting to sleep. And if the last week was anything to go by, he had a permanent role in her dreams, as well. It made her realize that perhaps she had never truly fallen in love before. Love, there was that word again. Even if the word still terrified her, she didn’t push the feeling back. Being here, in his arms felt too right to fight against it. 

As the movie reached the halfway point, Bucky didn’t relent in his attentions, running his hands up and down her arms, kissing her temples and pulling her closer until she was almost on his lap. It made concentrating on the movie near impossible and her core twist tighter and tighter with each fleeting touch.  

Bucky didn’t fare much better. He knew the movie was important to Inez, but having her in his arms was absolute heaven and he couldn't keep his eyes off of her for too long. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to be there with her, to have earned her trust enough to be able to kiss her and hold her.

When the action of the movie had died down a little, Inez paused for a break. Using the excuse of going to the bathroom, she quickly went off to collect herself. She needed a moment to walk off the tension between them since she was growing desperate for more of him, but didn't want to push. He seemed like an old fashioned kind of guy, not one to rush and be content with just kissing and cuddling. This was only their second date after all. Or was it their third date? Did the bar count? She was still musing over her own dating rules as she walked back to the couch when Bucky tugged her down next to him, pulled her legs over his lap, and wrapped his metal arm around her. She went willingly. Happily. The electricity between them when they smiled at each other could have powered all of Brooklyn. He took the two beers she had retrieved for them and set them on the side table, picked up the remote and pressed play. 

Indy was on a boat with Marion sharing close quarters, and Bucky was only half paying attention. He felt his time was better spent acquainting himself with Inez's smooth legs. He brushed from her ankle to her knee, massaging her calf and tickling the back of her knee. Inez's breath caught in the back of her throat, she looked at Bucky with fire in her eyes, and though he was looking at the screen, he was attuned to her every reaction until Indy said, "It's not the years, it's the mileage." Bucky couldn't hold back his huff of laughter. "I've never agreed with you more, Indy."

"Oh, I don't know. You look in pretty good shape to me."

"Sure, pretty on the outside." He beamed at her. "Could probably use some replacement parts."

Don't fuck this up, Inez. "You really think your engine's shot?" She sat up and straddled his lap. "Maybe I should take a look under the hood." 

The look of surprise on Bucky's face quickly melted into desire as Inez leaned forward to kiss him, her fingers tangling in his thick hair. Bucky groaned and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her soft curves into him. “Whaddya think, doc? I definitely need a tune-up.”

Her hands came to their favorite resting spots on his chest and she grabbed him, digging her fingers into his solid muscle. “Mmm. I think a ten-point inspection might be in order.”

He took her hands and trailed them down his abs. “You should run a full diagnostic scan.” Inez’s cheeks flamed and as their eyes met, she erupted into giggles. Bucky couldn’t hold back his smile, watching this beautiful woman straddle his lap while thinking of dirty jokes. He was in heaven.

Inez shook her head in defeat. “I’m out of double entendres. I don’t know, something, something, check your dipstick?” She laughed at her own bad joke, but didn’t keep her hands from moving down to his belt buckle, and her smile slid into a smirk.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be presumptuous,” he said, and turned serious.

Inez seized her opportunity. “I think you presume correctly.”

Bucky froze. He wanted this–god he wanted her–but he didn’t want to fuck this up. Everything with Inez was going so well and he was afraid of pushing her. 

“No more car talk. Inez–”

“I want you, Bucky.” Inez slowly moved her hands over his belt buckle. Agonizingly slowly, she withdrew the tail from the carrier and pulled to release the belt. She paused and looked up at him through her dark lashes. “Do you want me?”

“Do I–do I want you?” he asked incredulously. How could he have ever doubted her? She, a siren, sat in his lap and asked if he wanted her? He tipped her chin up and brushed his thumb along her bottom lip, “More than anything.”

Inez smiled and held Bucky’s wrist and pressed a feather light kiss to the pad of his thumb. The tender moment didn’t last however, and they crashed together in a rough kiss that took her breath away. 

As they embraced, Bucky smoothed his hands down Inez’s arms, feeling the soft fabric slide between his fingers. He reached her waist and toyed with the knot. “And more than anything, I’ve been wanting to untie this knot…” Bucky slowly pulled the tail, “unwrap you…” He watched hungrily as the dress slipped off Inez’s shoulders like liquid rose gold. The soft folds pooled at her waist, revealing her smooth, lacy lingerie, “and devour you.”

Bucky claimed her mouth again and touched every part of Inez’s skin that he could. Their heavy breaths and moans of pleasure drowned out everything else, making the movie fade away, forgotten. He buried his face in her neck, trailing kisses all the way to her breasts, ravishing her, licking and nipping at her soft skin. When he palmed her breasts and sucked and bit at her nipple through her bra, Inez moaned, dropping her head against his and trailing light kisses over his brow as he overwhelmed her. As he reached the top of her breasts she closed her eyes, throwing her head back as he pulled down her bra, giving herself over to him. 

His other hand trailed across her hip to tease the line of her panties. Her breath hitched as he moved his fingers under the lacy fabric, inching slowly towards her wet, aching pussy. Her eyes flew open the moment he began to rub small circles over her clit, stroking her and making her squirm. She looked down, momentarily caught in his intense blue gaze. It wasn’t until he flashed her a rakish smile that she came back to her senses. She pulled back just enough to get her hands under his soft Henley and traced every hard plane of his chest. He was all sharp lines and harsh planes, punctuated with scars that made her heart ache but she pushed on. The feel of his skin under her fingertips was intoxicating. 

As she explored his chest Bucky continued stroking her clit, making the coil in the pit of her stomach start to twist painfully. Her hands continued in their exploration until she reached his left shoulder. She could feel the scars radiating like lightning out from the clean seam of his prosthetic. Somewhere in the distance her mind told her to stop, but the need to touch every inch of him pushed her forward. She dug her nails into his skin as she finally felt the wave of ecstasy start to crest, throwing her head back she called out his name as he took her taut nipple into his mouth and sucked. 

The branches of scars were a rough topography against an otherwise smooth terrain, which she gently stroked, tracing them with featherlight touches while she continued to writhe and buck in his lap, little moans and whimpers escaping with each breath. The wave finally hit her, pulling her under, making her lose her strength to stay up, so she rested her head on his shoulder and kissed his neck, holding onto him and caressing his shoulders underneath the snug warmth of his shirt.

Bucky was too enthralled by the feel of her writhing on his lap to notice the first time she touched his scar; his concentration was solely on making her moan and keeping her in his arms. The second time, the damaged nerves beneath the scar tissue jolted awake, sending a muted signal of pain through his arm. He did his best to ignore it, the feel of her cresting orgasm should have been enough to distract him, but after the third stroke of his scar, the dam broke. That scar held more than mangled flesh and nerves, it held memories. It was those memories that now demanded to be acknowledged all while his body cried out for the comfort of getting lost in her. Another gentle caress made his back go stiff. It wasn’t until he began to shake that she finally noticed. 

“Bucky? What’s wrong?” She pulled away, lips plump and inflamed with his kiss, but her eyes brimmed with concern, the sight of which sent shame through him. 

Bucky reluctantly pulled away from her voluptuous chest. “Nothing.”

“You’re shaking.”

He flashed a charming smile. “From anticipation, sweetheart,” he whispered before he leaned in for another kiss. Her hands began to make their way back up his chest, leaving a trail of warmth in her wake until she reached for his shoulder again. This time his whole body jerked beneath her, making her instantly pull away. 

“Are you sick? Was it the meatloaf?” She began to get up from his lap but he held her back.

“Really, I’m fine.” He began to lean in again but she stopped him and pushed herself off his lap. 

“You’re pale!” she gasped as she got a good look at him. She leapt off the couch and began to rush towards the kitchen, tying up her dress again, but Bucky managed to grab her hand before she could get too far. 

“I just had too many beers.” He gently guided her back towards him, until she stood between his legs.

“I’ve seen you drink a whole bottle of tequila, Bucky,” she said as she knotted the silken dress closed.

His grin wavered for a moment, so he took a deep breath. “It will pass, just give me a second.”

“What will pass?”

He let his hands trace down her arms until he reached her soft, plush hips. “It’s nothing.”

She reached out and placed her hand on his forehead, wincing the moment she made contact. “You’re sweating.”

“You’re very warm,” he lightly, playfully squeezed her hips.

She frowned. “You should lay down, I’ll go get some aspirin.” She began to pull away, but he stopped her again.

“That won’t help.

“Do you need a doctor?” Inez did her best to keep her voice steady, but the sight of him had her on the verge of panic. 

Bucky finally let the smile on his face drop and he hung his head. “I just need a moment to pull myself together.”

Inez finally pulled away, reworking the top of her dress and sat down beside him. “From what?”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s nothing, really.”

“It’s not nothing if it’s bothering you,” she said softly. She reached for his hand, but the moment she touched it, he pulled it away. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The voices began to pierce the darkness but he kept his eyes shut. He couldn’t stand to face her, not when there was a good chance he’d see pity on her face. 

Inez sat back and did her best not to let his silence get to her, but seeing him so shaken ate at her. “Can I get you anything?”

The concern in her voice felt like a punch in the gut and he couldn’t stand it. It was too soon. If she knew, if she saw, she'd run. “No.” He reluctantly opened his eyes and kept his gaze forward. “Maybe I should just go. I’ve already ruined our night.”

“You haven’t ruined anything. Really.” She got up and tried to touch him but he pulled away again, making her heart begin to shatter. 

The room began to spin, the voices were now thundering in his head. They were so calm as they explained how they removed his arm and replaced it; no kindness was given in his most vulnerable moment. He was a tool in need of fixing, of perfecting, Dr. Zola said with sick glee. His body woke and rebelled against the foreign limb, shooting wave after wave of pain until he tried to pull it off.

“Bucky?!” Inez rushed forward to catch him as he began to sway, but Bucky again held her back. 

“I have to go.” He pushed through all the noise, forcing his legs to move towards the door, but every step was weighed down by phantoms trying to pull him under. He fought each one, tooth and nail, until he reached his jacket, but his hands shook too much to put it on.

“You need to lie down, you don’t look too good.” Inez grabbed at his arm but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. I need to get out, I need to get out. 

Her pleas to stay echoed somewhere far away as he opened the door. A part of him wanted him to stay, but the voices and shame kept pushing him forward. Before he crossed the threshold, he forced himself to turn around and face her. The look on Inez’s face was like a stab in his heart. She looked almost beside herself in worry. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“Just stay here until it passes. Please.”

He turned, despite wanting to do anything but, and walked away. The voices, the nightmares, were his alone to fight. He couldn’t take her down with him. 

He didn’t stop walking until he reached the park. He almost collapsed onto the bench as he began to hyperventilate. Each shallow breath of cold air felt like glass, and despite being outside, there didn’t seem to be enough air. He felt like a livewire, every nerve was on fire as his body recalled all the hurt they had inflicted on him. He thought he was beyond this, it had been so long since his scar had hurt that he thought nothing of the possibility of being touched again. Oh how wrong and foolish he had been. Even if he was free of HYDRA’s clutches, they would always own a piece of him. They had taken away the sense of safety and security that he was safe in his own mind and body. And now, all these years later they were still trying to take something precious to him: his future. 

How could she want him after watching him break down and run away like a coward? Who would want that kind of mess on their hands? I’m not worth all this, I never was. He flinched as the mangled nerves sent another muted pain signal down his arm. He sucked down a rush of cold autumn air, willing his heart to slow and his body to comply, but he was met by rebellion. He had spent too long ignoring his pain that it was now taking revenge. All he could do was wait and hoped it would pass before sunrise. After a few more waves of tears, his body stilled and a rush of numbness spread through him. He was exhausted, body and soul, as his PTSD episode began to wane. His eyes stung, begging to close, but he knew what awaited him if he did. Memories of all the hurt he had endured, the cruelty they disguised as repairing his broken body. No narcotics given, pain was used to measure his resolve and endurance. He was the perfect subject; eventually he stopped screaming, his mind leaving his body as his nerves screamed out for his missing limb. He finally hung his head as the weight of memories crashed around him. He held his breath as he waited for the image of Zola to flash behind his eyelids. But instead, he saw Sophia standing by the entrance to the base, waiting for him, and he had never been more happy to be haunted by the phantom of a lost love.   

-----------------------------------------------------

Bucky immediately dropped his pack and ran into Sophia’s waiting arms, kissing her deeply all while ignoring his friend’s whistles and teasing.

“I missed you,” he whispered into her lips as he reluctantly pulled away. 

She pulled back, finally getting a good look at him. “You’re hurt!” She touched the bleeding wound on his left cheek. 

“It’s just a scratch.” He went in for another kiss but she stopped him. 

“You should have that looked at.”

“I’ll let you patch me up later.” He kissed her again, his hands moving up her back and into her hair.

“You’re going to suffocate the poor woman, Bucky!” Gabe called out as he walked by.

“At the very least shower before you start necking. You stink Barnes!” Junior added. 

Bucky released Sophia. “Not as bad as you, kid.” He turned back to his blushing girl. “I’m sorry about them.”

“It’s alright,” she smiled. “But they are right, you should go clean up.”

“I smell that bad?”

“No, but I’m sure you could use a hot shower.”

He put his arm around her and began to walk towards his tent. “That does sound good.” He kissed her forehead. “Are you free for dinner?”

“I’m off the night shift, so yes.”

Bucky smiled like a fool, making Sophia’s eyebrows shoot up. “But you already knew that.” She stopped at the entrance of his tent. “What did you do, James?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he said innocently. 

Sophia frowned. “I told you, I don’t want any special treatment.”

He leaned down and gave her a peck on the cheek. “But you are special.”

She put her hands on her hips. “I’m already getting daggers from the other girls who had their eyes on you. I don’t want the other nurses to hate me because you pulled strings for me.”

“He didn’t, ma’am. I did.” Sophia turned to see Steve Rogers standing behind her. “We have a new unit of soldiers from Mexico coming this week. We could use your help getting them settled.” 

“Of course, Captain Rogers, happy to help.” She gave him a small nod before turning back to Bucky. “See you at dinner.” She gave him a quick peck on the lips before walking away. 

“Thanks for saving my skin,” Bucky slapped the side of Steve’s arm. 

“You owe me. Again.”

“Maybe Sophie has a cute cousin back home she can set you up with.”

Steve looked past his friend, smiling at the sight of Peggy Carter arguing with a general. “I’m good,” he gave Bucky a hard slap on the shoulder. “Have fun tonight.”

After getting cleaned up and finishing the rest of his duties, he headed to the mess hall with a slight bounce in his step. His last mission had kept him away from base for two weeks, and he couldn’t wait to sit down to a decent meal with Sophia. 

“I tried for a month, but Reynosa wouldn’t even crack a smile,” a gruff looking soldier complained before taking a drink from his flask. “I guess that floozy will only open her legs for a celebrity.”

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks and turned to the two soldiers drinking by the rover. “What was that?”

The shorter brown haired soldier poked his elbow into his buddy’s ribs. “Shut up, Carl!”

“You know it’s true, Jacob! I bet Reynosa couldn’t get Rogers, so she went for his sidekick.” Carl slurred.  

Bucky marched over to Carl, slamming his forearm into his neck. “Watch your mouth,” he growled. 

“He’s drunk, Sarge, he didn’t mean it.” Jacob did his best to pry Bucky off Carl, but Bucky wouldn’t budge. 

The steady stream of soldiers and staff going into the mess hall suddenly stopped, their attention turning to the two men fighting.

“What’s going on?” Peggy rushed forward, pushing her way through the crowd. 

“Carl’s just had too much to drink, Agent Carter.” Jacob tried again to peel Bucky off Carl but to no avail.

“Sergeant Barnes, stand down at once!” Peggy ordered. 

Bucky pulled back his fist, but didn’t back down. 

“You willing to get discharged for some bean–”

Bucky punched Carl right in the mouth, splitting his lip open. “Bastard.”

“Sergeant Barnes!” Peggy shouted.

“Bucky!” Steve stepped forward and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. “Let him go.”

Bucky lowered his arm and finally stepped back. 

“Everyone go back inside,” Peggy shouted, prompting the crowd to disperse. She turned to Carl, who spat blood onto the floor. “Go to the med bay and get that lip treated. Then report to Colonel Phillips for your disciplinary assignment.” 

Carl opened his mouth to argue, but Peggy’s icy glare shut him up. 

“James? What happened?” Sophia stepped out of the mess hall and walked over to Bucky and Steve.

“Nothing.” Bucky straightened his shirt.

“He got himself into a fight, Sophie.” Peggy said as she walked over to Sophia. 

Bucky glared at Peggy. “The pig deserved it.”

Peggy placed her hands on her hips, “And what exactly did he do?”

Bucky turned to look at Sophia, giving her a pained look. 

Peggy sighed. “Captain Rogers.”

Steve stepped forward. “Yes, ma’am?”

“Can I entrust Sergeant Barnes to you?”

“Of course,” Steve said solemnly. 

“Good,” she turned to Sophia. “Please tell me they have some meatloaf left.” 

Sophia nodded. 

“Good. Care to join me? I am rather hungry.” Peggy placed her hand on Sophia’s back and guided her forward. 

Sophia turned to look at Bucky one last time before following Peggy into the mess hall. 

“What the hell Bucky?!” Steve turned Bucky to face him once Peggy and Sophia disappeared into the mess hall. “Are you trying to get discharged?”

“If anyone deserves to be kicked out, it’s Carl,” Bucky argued. 

“What did he do?”

Bucky took a deep breath to settle his nerves. “He said…” He looked down. He couldn’t bring himself to repeat the filth Carl had spat about Sophia. “He made rude comments about Sophie.”

“Look, I know she’s your girl, but you can’t beat a man for catcalling. You should have reported–”

“He wasn’t catcalling her, he called her a…” he couldn’t say the word. “Look it doesn’t matter; what matters is that pig disrespected Sophie.”

“I can’t have you suspended because you can’t keep your temper in check.”

Bucky crossed his arms. “I’m sure if it was Peggy you would have broken Carl's jaw.”

“Peggy wouldn’t like me acting like a hot headed kid. Besides, she can take care of herself.”

“Very chivalrous of you. No wonder she can’t keep her eyes off you.” Bucky spat.

“Watch it, Buck,” Steve growled.

“I am not going to let anyone disrespect the woman I love like that.”

Steve’s eyes went wide in shock. “Love?”

Bucky ran his fingers through his hair. “Yeah.” He leaned against the rover. 

“Have you told her?”

“Not yet, I wanted to make it special.” He looked down. “I wrote to Rebecca to send me mom’s locket,” he shifted his foot in the mud, “and ring,” he added quietly.

“You’re going to marry her?!”

Bucky looked up, “Keep it down, will ya? Or do you want to ruin the surprise for Sophie?”

“I knew you had strong feelings for her, lord knows you can’t keep your hands off her, but marriage?” Steve crossed his arms. “Wow, Buck.”

“What? You think it’s a bad idea?” he asked nervously.

Steve walked over to his friend and placed his arm around him. “Of course not, it's just…” he sighed. “I had no idea you were this serious.”

“We’ve been seeing each other for months now, but honestly, I knew only a few weeks in. I can’t wait to bring her home and have her meet Rebecca.”

“I’m happy for you, Bucky. Really.” Steve let go and took a deep breath, his smile disappearing. “But you have to control yourself. We can’t take down HYDRA without you.”

“Eh, you could since you’re the muscle now.” Bucky pushed himself off the rover. “Are you going to send me back to my tent for the night?”

Steve rubbed his chin. “I really should, but honestly I’m more afraid of Sophie coming after me later. She and Peggy are thick as thieves lately.” 

Bucky smiled. “Thanks, buddy. I owe you one.” 

“Yeah, well, I’ll add it to your tab.” 

Bucky gave Steve a hard pat on the shoulder before he rushed off towards the mess hall. 

-----------------------------------------------------

“You were quiet at dinner tonight,” Bucky commented as they walked to Sophia’s dorm. “Everything alright?” 

Sophia took a deep breath before she stopped walking just a few feet away from the door. “Did you really get into a fight with Carl over me?”

Bucky froze, “Peggy told you?”

“The whole mess hall was talking about it. So what did he do to earn a busted lip?” She crossed her arms.

“He made crude remarks about you.”

“Is that it?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Yeah.”

“What did he say?”

“I don’t want to repeat what he said, especially in front of you.”

“James I’ve heard it all, so out with it.”

“He made some lewd implications of why you are with me.”

“Okay and what else?”

Bucky frowned. “I don’t want to say it, Sophie.”

“Let me guess, then. Was it bitch? Whore? Be–”

“Sophie, stop!”

“I see.” She nodded her head. “So he did call me that.”

Bucky walked over to her and placed his hands on her arms. “I’m sorry, Sophie.”

She shrugged. “It’s alright, I’m used to it, and I’ve heard worse, honestly.”

Bucky stepped back shocked. “What?”

“I’m a woman and Mexican. You don’t think I haven’t heard almost every possible racial slur? Some soldiers even request a new nurse when I try to treat them. Carl only started asking Barbie and Maeve to treat him after I turned him down a dozen times.”

“That fucking bastard!” His hands clenched into fists at his side. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Maybe because I didn’t want this to happen,” she said, gesturing to his aggressive pose.

“It isn’t right for you to be treated that way, Sophie.”

“I know, but it comes with the job when you look like me.”

Bucky shook his head. “I’m going to talk to Colonel Phillips, the jackass needs to be shipped back home.”

Sophia rushed over to him, taking his arm and leading him to the alley between the dorms. “It’s not worth your time, James. The top brass have other things to worry about, like taking down HYDRA.”

“We can’t do nothing . Carl and the other bastards are clearly violating conduct code–”

“I know, but it will just fall on deaf ears. Trust me, I’ve tried. Besides, I don't want to make things worse.” She looked down at her white shoes to avoid what she was sure was another shocked look.

“What do you mean by ‘worse’?”

“Barbie was pretty annoyed you switched her schedule that night you stayed with me, and the other nurses know you had me switched from the night shift.”

“You were due for a change. Steve checked with Peggy before he made the request.”

“I know. And I don't mind going back to a normal sleeping schedule, but now the others think I’m asking you to pull strings for me.” 

Bucky leaned back against the wall. “Shit.” He looked down. “I’m sorry, Sophie.”

Sophia walked over to him and took his hand. “You were just trying to help,” she brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. “And the knight-in-shining-armor act is sweet.”

He looked up. “It’s not an act.” He pulled her towards him. “We can’t take this lying down, Sophie,” he said as he caressed the side of her face.

The warmth in Sophia’s eyes extinguished and she pulled away. “It isn’t worth it, James. Just drop it.”

“I can’t just drop it, not when someone is going after my girl!”

Sophia put her hands on her hips and inhaled sharply. “So are you going to fight every asshole that insults me or gives me a dirty look? You’ll get booted out of the army, or arrested!”

“I can’t sit back and do nothing.”

“There is a time and place. You have to know when to pick your battles.”

Bucky rubbed his neck in frustration. “I can’t stand a bully, especially not when they are coming after someone I care about.”

“Are you really this surprised? You’re with me,” she pointed at herself.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Again, I am Mexican.”

“So?”

“People who look like me are treated like this, worse if you go to the South. I’m not saying it’s right, but you had to know that.”

“I never thought about it before.”

She frowned. “Right, well, you didn’t have to, so…” She turned around and looked up at the sky. 

“Sophie, I’m sorry.” 

She turned to him, “The only reason I’ve made it this far is because I’ve avoided attracting attention. It’s kept me safe.”

Bucky’s heart broke and his blood boiled. “You’ve got me now. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“You can’t make those kinds of promises.”

“Well I am, because I’m all in.”

Sophia’s eyes went wide in shock, she took a deep breath to compose herself before she spoke again. “I’m not worth all this, James.” 

Bucky pulled back. “Yes you are. Of course you are.”

“Let’s not waste our time together. When the war ends I have to go back to-”

“When we go back, you mean”

“You should really think this through, James.” 

“I have thought it through. Hell, it’s all I think about. I want this,” he took her hands. “I want us to go home and build a life together, but you won’t even tell me where you want to go.”

Sophia's eyes began to glisten with tears. “I can’t go back to California.” 

“Then we’ll go to New York. The town where my mother grew up is small, but welcoming. I’ll get a job at my grandfather’s wood shop, you can work at the local hospital,” as he gave voice to the dreams he carried, the more excited he became. “In time we’ll get a house and–”

“James, please.” She blinked, releasing a steady stream of tears. 

“What is it?” He felt his heart almost stop at the pained look Sophia gave him. “You don’t want to go back with me, do you?”

“I do, but…” she hung her head as she tried to hold back more tears.

“But what?”

“There is so much I need to tell you–that I want to tell you–but I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Unless you’re telling me you don’t want me anymore, there is nothing that can hurt as much as losing you.”

Sophia let out choked sobs as she began to shake. “I’ve lost the people I loved the most. I couldn’t stand it if I lost you too.”

“You won’t.”

“You can’t promise me that.”

“The hell I can’t.”

“We’re in the middle of a war.”

“And the whole HYDRA army hasn’t been able to stop me from coming back to you yet.”

“This was a mistake,” she began to walk away but Bucky blocked her. It couldn’t end like this. Somehow, he knew there was more. 

“Sophie please, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I fell for you! That’s what’s wrong! I told myself this thing was just a refuge from all the hell going on out in the world. But it turned into something real and I can’t–” she clutched her chest. “I can’t do this.”

“Why?”

Somewhere in the distance a flock of crows abandoned their perch on a nearby tree, making Sophia look up. A violent shudder ran through her, making her gasp. “Me encontraron…” She whispered. “I have to go.” She tried to push past him but he pulled her into his arms, desperate to keep her a while longer. 

“Sophie, please. I know you’re afraid. Hell, I am too. I’ve lost my parents and countless friends. It damn near broke me. But then I found you.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I don’t think I could stand to lose you, too.”

Sophia looked up at Bucky, a small gasp escaping her when she saw tears in his deep blue eyes. Any resolve Sophia had left finally seemed to leave her. “I don't want you to,” she said softly. 

It wasn’t the exact words he was hoping to hear but it was enough to give back hope. He planted a soft kiss on her tear-soaked lips. “Come hell or high water, I’m taking you home. I don’t care if it’s New York or Alaska.”

She nodded, “Can we just enjoy what we have now? We can worry about the future later, when the war ends.”

Bucky sighed. “Alright.” 

“Thank you.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s get you inside before you catch a chill, gorgeous.”

Broken. She looked broken as she walked into her dorm, and all he wanted to do was hold her back together. But he couldn’t. He had a feeling she wouldn’t let him. He knew there was something besides facing prejudice that had Sophia afraid of facing a future with him. He could live in the moment, but the future was far too tempting. He wasn’t about to give it up without a fight. By the time he reached the tent, his resolve to ask Sophia about what she was afraid of resolved.

But he never got to ask those questions. Life, it seemed, was tired of being so kind to him. He was woken up by Dum Dum at the crack of dawn the next morning to let him know they had received fresh intel, and they would be leaving later that morning for the next HYDRA factory. All those unanswered questions were left behind to ferment into regret since he never got to ask them. 

Bucky thanked his lucky stars that at least Sophia managed to catch him before he left. But before he could recall their hurried goodbye the memory began to distort, breaking down around him leaving him alone in the void. He had spent decades repressing the memory of their last goodbye, especially when so much had been left unsaid between them. The only thing he allowed himself to recall was the feel of her lips on his and the tenderness of her touch as she bid him farewell. God, if he knew that was the last time he’d ever get to kiss her, he would have never let her go. Regret built in him like a wave, coming up to his neck to drown him.

Now it seemed, history was repeating itself. I left Inez behind, I ran away without explaining what was happening. His heart ached in his chest. She had begged me to stay. He opened his mouth to call out but he was being pulled under by the weight of all he could have and should have done. I fucked it up, I’m fucked up. She deserves more than this. Why did he let himself believe he could have a normal life after all the pain he had caused? What made him think he could change his fate? He let the woman he loved go without telling her the truth, he had let his fear get the better of him time and time again. What made him think this time it could be different? Inez. She knew about my past and didn’t walk away. She knew what I did, she knew there was blood on my hands, and still managed to see the good man I thought long dead. And he repaid that blind faith by running away, letting his broken mind get the better of him. 

The buzzing of his phone pulled him back from the black pit of despair he was falling into. Hand still shaking, he took out his phone and looked down at the awaiting message and multiple missed calls from Inez. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: Can you let me know if you made it home okay? I’m worried about you.

His thumb hovered over the Reply button, unsure what he could even say to atone for his behavior. Before he could type anything his phone buzzed again, with another plea. 

Dr. Inez Garcia🤬: You don’t have to tell me anything, I just need to know you’re okay. And if you don’t want to see me again, I understand. I’m sorry if I overstepped.

Bucky let out a mirthless chuckle, she was apologizing to him?! In what reality was that okay?! No, this couldn’t stand, he needed to make this right. He began to type, but a simple ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t seem like enough. Even if it meant the end, Inez deserved the truth. He wiped away the last of his tears, took another cleansing breath, got up and began the long walk back to her apartment. 

Chapter Text

Inez paced back and forth in front of her doorway, doing her best not to look down at her phone. It had been a few hours since Bucky left and he hadn’t returned any of her calls or texts. It’s official, I fucked it up! The room seemed to rattle around her, matching the nervous energy that hummed through her. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of glass breaking that she finally stopped pacing. The sight of an empty beer bottle shattered on the wooden floor beside her coffee table sunk her mood lower, if that was even possible. The fact that it was Bucky’s beer sent a pang of regret through her.

“Fuck!” she said through gritted teeth as she marched over to the mess. Careful to not step on the broken glass, she grabbed a handful of paper towels and cleaned up her mess. Her nerves were shot and her anxiety was on the verge of becoming a full blown panic attack, and having her abilities go haywire was not helping the situation. Abilities? Call it what it is, Inez. Magic. The very thing you almost convinced yourself was not real. She finished tossing the broken glass into the trash and leaned against the counter. She could feel her worry coalesce into anxiety, making her hands clench as they began to warm. She could feel her magic start to awaken, the warmth both ached and felt good as it coursed through her veins. Her control over her magic, it seemed, was now truly gone and at the mercy of her emotions. It was calling to her to cast or create, to let it flow freely; it had tasted freedom and wanted more.

Well she had wanted more of Bucky and let her wayward hands get the best of her, which had caused this mess. And now her magic was wreaking havoc. She sighed. She was pretty sure her enthusiasm had destroyed any future she had with him. As she closed her eyes, the look of terror on Bucky’s face when she had touched his left shoulder came rushing forward. She hadn’t even thought to stop herself as she traced her fingers along the edges of where flesh met metal. The feel of his bare skin under her fingertips had been too addictive. She had wanted to touch every inch she could, trying to memorize his body with her hands as his lips mapped her neck. 

His scars hadn’t deterred her; every part of Bucky was perfect in her eyes. Even his metal arm didn’t bother her, which she knew he had conflicted feelings about. She had felt him tense in those first few exploratory strokes, but had wrongfully assumed it was in anticipation, not discomfort. How could I have been so careless and dumb? I should’ve asked for permission before touching his arm. She felt tears begin to form as she sucked in a breath, her heart twisting at the memory of Bucky losing himself to a panic attack. It was her fault. She had done that to him. She hurt him. Tears finally fell away as she opened her eyes. 

She looked around her small studio apartment, suddenly desperate to do something, anything to help, but it was obvious by his silence that he didn’t want it. After a few calming breaths, she walked into the kitchen, reached under her sink, and pulled out a small white candle. She placed it beside a small statue of La Catrina that sat against the wall of her kitchen counter and blew on the wick until a small flame appeared. It took a few minutes for her frazzled mind to recall the simple protection incantation since she had worked so hard to forget every lesson her family had taught her over the years. 

Now, however, she needed that knowledge, if only to protect Bucky, wherever he was. The flame flickered after she whispered the words, then turned a bright blue before going out. She crossed her arms thoughtfully, and she hoped that was a sign that the gods and ancestors had heard her. Resigned, she walked back to her living room, letting her now tired body crash onto the couch. She knew sleep would elude her, so she grabbed her remote and put on 2005’s Pride and Prejudice, her comfort movie, to distract herself. 

------------------------------------------------------------

Mr. Darcy had just admitted to Elizabeth that he loved her when someone knocked at the door. She jumped out of her stupor, making the books and nicknacks on her shelf follow suit. She silently cursed her wayward magic and took a deep breath to control herself. Hands shaking, she slowly opened the door to find Bucky standing on the other side, staring hard at the hallway floor. Her heart leapt at the sight of him and she wanted nothing more than to jump into his arms, but she resisted, afraid of scaring him away again. He’s here and safe, that’s all that matters. “Bucky.” His name left her lips in a soft whisper. 

Bucky slowly looked up, his eyes were red and slightly swollen, the sight of which sent a pang of guilt through her. “I know it’s late, but can I come in?” he asked in a cautious tone.

She nodded and followed him into the living room, quickly sitting on the couch, and neatly folded her hands on her lap to keep them from shaking and reaching out to touch him. 

“I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath as he sat down. “I didn’t mean to run off like that.”

She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have been so forward.”

“You did nothing wrong.” He looked down at his hands. “I just got–” he swallowed.

“Overwhelmed?” she asked softly. 

Bucky looked up. “Yes, but not because of you. I got my bell rung pretty badly from when I was the…” his voice trailed off. 

“You had a flashback?”

Bucky flinched. “I've never willingly let anyone touch my scar.” He took another deep breath. “I’m usually put under when they treat it. It still carries a lot of hurt.”

Inez’s heart broke as guilt roiled in her stomach. “I’m sorry. I should have asked before I–”

“You didn’t know.”

“Even so, I’m so sorry.”

“I’m a walking minefield. If you had to apologize for every little thing that set me off, you’d never stop apologizing.” He did his best to keep his tone light, even chuckling at the end, but Inez didn’t smile.

“Bucky, I wish you had told me. We didn't have to do anything if you’re not ready.”

“I was, I mean I am, but…” Bucky sighed. “Voicing my needs isn’t something I’m great at, and I didn’t want you to treat me like I’m made of glass.” He picked at some invisible lint on his pants to keep his hands from shaking as he fought the urge to shut down. “I get if this is too much for you.”

“It’s not.” She inched closer, but stopped short of touching him. “But I need you to be honest with me. If anything I do makes you uncomfortable, tell me to stop. I don't want to hurt you, even if it’s by accident.”

Bucky ran his metal fingers through his hair, doing his best not to pull it. “I don’t know how to do this,” he gestured between them. “I haven’t done this since…” he stopped himself and closed his eyes.

Inez quickly got up and walked over to the kitchen. She needed to put some distance between them, afraid of what her magic might do as the urge to comfort him overwhelmed her. She wanted so badly to hold him until all the hurt went away, but she wasn’t sure if he’d welcome her. “Since you came back from The Blip?” She asked as she reached for two whiskey glasses drying on the dish rack, then grabbed a bottle of Jameson sitting near her coffee pot.

“Yes–no–that’s not what I meant. I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate life after leaving him behind.”

Inez stopped mid-pour and felt her heart skip a beat. She could almost hear the words Winter Soldier hanging in the air between them by the way his shame dimmed his beautiful blue eyes. She shook her head and finished pouring the whisky before she walked back over to him, handing him a glass as she sat down. Bucky gave her a small grin before he turned his gaze to the glass in his hand. 

Inez downed her drink the moment her ass hit the couch cushion. She needed the golden elixir to ease her nerves and she waited until he downed his own shot before she spoke again. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you’ve been through or how you’ve managed to pick up the pieces.” She placed her glass on the coffee table and took his hand, waiting for him to pull away, unable to breathe as the seconds ticked by. When he laced his fingers through hers, she inhaled, relieved. His gaze, however, remained on the glass he had set down on the table. 

“I’m sure it took a hell of a lot of strength to do it, which can get exhausting.” Inez said as she inched closer to him. “I don’t want you to push yourself to make me happy or do something you don’t want to do.”

“I don’t know how.” He replied so softly and broken that it made Inez’s heart ache.

“Then let’s start small. What do you want to do right now?”

Bucky frowned. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.”

He shook his head. “I’m not worth it.” 

She reached for his face but paused before touching his skin. Bucky finally looked up. At the sight of her hand hanging in mid air, he leaned forward, letting out a small sigh of relief the moment her hand touched his cheek. “Yes you are, Bucky.” She ran her thumb across his lower lip, making him melt further into her touch. 

Bucky closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of her hand. Despite every part of his brain screaming for him to pull away, his body needed this. He needed her gentle touch and her unwavering kindness. He needed her sweet scent of lavender and honey. He needed the light and joy she brought to his life. He needed her to see the good man he thought long since dead. Above all, he wanted to be given the permission to fall apart without the fear of being punished for it. And he wanted to have her hold him together as he did, and to feel safe in knowing she would be there when the storm passed. God, he needed her and wanted her so damn much that it terrified him. But it was too much to ask for, to say out loud, so he held his tongue. Instead, he leaned into her touch, letting her trace the shape of his frown and the pain etched on his skin. 

Inez pressed her forehead to his. “Please tell me.” she whispered.

Tears began to well in the corners of his eyes, making his mind scream out in embarrassment and shame, but she kept him anchored to her. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. 

“You won’t.”

“I’m broken.”

“You’re not.” She pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

“I’ve done horrible things, things that I can’t even bring myself to admit,” he said as she pulled away. 

“It was not your fault.”

“But I pulled the trigger.” 

She shook her head, freeing the tears hanging desperately to the corners of her eyes. “They forced you to.” She let out a shaky breath. “He’s gone, but you’re still here, so just stay with me. Be here with me, okay?” she begged him.

Bucky’s eyes flew open, his breath hitched at the sight of tears cascading from her warm amber eyes. “Inez,” he swallowed back his own tears. “I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you.”

She pulled back slightly, making Bucky flinch. She immediately took his hands into hers before giving him a reassuring smile. “I know it's hard to believe, I know you don’t want to face it, but you are a man who is kind despite being subjected to unspeakable cruelty. A man who fought even though he already lost so much. A man who stayed with me when I felt alone in my grief even though you’re battling your own loss.” She blinked away another cascade of tears. “You, James Buchanan Barnes, are a good man. A man who deserves every kindness this life has to offer. So please, Bucky, tell me what you want.”   

Bucky stared at Inez in amazement, chest heaving as his heart raced. She wanted him to stay. She, despite everything, accepted him for who he was and is. His mind raced as he tried to accept that this wonderful, perfect moment was reality. Fear and guilt still lingered in the back of his mind, but for once, something stronger than fear began to drown his senses. Hope. Hope that what she had said about him was true. Hope that he was worthy of such faith. Hope that he had finally found happiness in a life that never felt like his own. But above all, the most thrilling prospect was the hope that he found love again in his over-extended life, and was given another chance at living the life he craved all those years ago.

Hand shaking, he reached for her face, a smile pulling at his lips as she leaned into him. God, she is so beautiful, he thought as he moved closer, lightly brushing his lips to hers, as if testing to make sure she was here and real. All of his doubts evaporated when she grabbed at his shirt and pulled him closer and deepened their kiss. Her greedy tongue plunged into his mouth, teasing out a deep moan from him. She tasted like whiskey and salt tears, and the thought that he had given her a reason to shed them cut into him. Bucky was no poet, but he didn’t need words to show her how much he needed her, how much he wanted her. And god, did he want her. He let go of her face and grabbed onto her waist, tracing the curve of her body, fingers almost digging into her dress as he resisted the urge to rip it off.     

He pulled Inez into his arms and everything else melted away. The only thing he cared about was her and enjoying this slice of heaven he had somehow found himself in. She gasped softly, her grip on his shirt tightening as he began caressing her breast. When he finally, but reluctantly pulled away, he ran his thumb over her cheek softly before finally whispering, “You.” He smiled at the way her eyes lit up. “I just want you.” 

Inez began to lean in again before stopping herself. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready,” she said softly, but the flush in her cheeks betrayed her desire.

He shook his head, “I don’t think I could wait another second, sweetheart. I want you.”

She smiled. “Only if you promise to tell me when–”

He cut her off with another passionate kiss. “I will. Now can we go to bed?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“Good.” Strong arms pulled her up from the couch and effortlessly swept her off her feet. His lips didn’t leave hers as he walked across the room to her bed. Bucky sat her down on the edge of the mattress and began to kneel in front of her when Inez stopped him. 

“Sit.” She said as she patted the spot beside her. 

Bucky raised an eyebrow but did as he was told. “Shouldn’t we, um, lay down?” he asked as he sat down beside her.

“Not yet.” She leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his eager lips. “Tell me what you want,” she whispered into his lips.

He let out a frustrated huff as she pulled away. “Told you I’m not very good at that.” 

“Alright, then just tell me when to stop.” She purred.

Bucky swallowed the knot in his throat. “Stop what?” He asked innocently. 

Inez smiled. “Touching you.” Her nimble fingers grabbed onto the hem of his heathered Henley. “May I?”

Bucky felt a twinge of shame at being treated so tenderly, but he couldn’t bear to push her away, not with her warm amber eyes looking into his, burning with a desire that he wanted to satisfy. So he simply nodded and let her remove his shirt. He felt his breath catch as the cool air hit his bare skin and he braced himself for a gasp at the sight of his scarred shoulder. Instead, Inez sighed before running her hand up his chest, stopping at his sternum. She took a moment to trace the edges of his dog tags. Just as she reached the chain, the serial number caught her eye. It started with a 3, which made her heart break. He was drafted. Like so much in his life, the choice to fight in a war was taken from him. She ran her finger over the eight numbers that sealed his cruel fate. 

Bucky opened his eyes and looked down to see Inez staring at his tags, and a jolt of anxiety ran through him. Was she suddenly realizing how old he was? 

Why was the warmth in her eyes suddenly gone? Was she regretting this? “I should probably…” He pulled the tags from beneath her finger tips, throwing the silver chain on her night stand once it was off. When he turned back to her, Inez immediately kissed him passionately as the realization hit her of how lucky she was to have him, to know him, and how close she came to losing him. Losing him? I just found him. She held back a small laugh as she placed her hand back on his chest. Dog tags finally out of sight and forgotten, Inez pulled back and continued her long awaited exploration of his body. 

His heartbeat spiked as she looked him over, and her heart broke at the sight of the angry red scars surrounding the seam of his vibranium arm. A well of anger surged within her as she looked at what had been done to him, what he had endured. Seeing the evidence of all of the pain they must have inflicted made her want to somehow reach back through the ages and punish each and every bastard who hurt him. Her magic roiled within her, making her hands flush with heat and rage as she traced the small scars on his chest. 

Bucky suddenly flinched, “Sorry,” he shook his head. “Must be colder than I thought.”  

Inez pulled her hands away, shaking them out. “Warm hands, sorry,” she said in a hushed apology.

Bucky took her hands into his, kissing them lightly before placing them back on his chest. “Don’t stop.” He pressed his lips to hers and waited, his body already crying out for her soothing touch. 

She felt Bucky melt into her as her fingers explored the large expanse of his chest, letting her fingertips lightly drag across his smooth, warm skin. Inez couldn’t help but smile as Bucky moaned into her lips as she trailed her left hand up towards his face, lightly cradling it as she deepened their kiss. With every brush of his lips and stroke of his tongue, Inez felt her core twist and the heat between her legs burn. She pushed it all aside, focusing only on him, but her concentration was tested when Bucky wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer until she was nearly on top of him. Their bodies perfectly fit one another. God, she loved the feeling of him against her. She had craved it for weeks now, dreamed about it even, but nothing compared to the reality of being in his arms. She pulled back, kissing the corner of his lips before moving down to his neck, slowly making her way downward. Each kiss was featherlight, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. As she neared his shoulder, she felt him tense again. She immediately pulled back and looked up to gauge his reaction.

Bucky swallowed, hard. She was asking for permission, waiting for him before continuing. She was giving him a choice. It had been so long, he wasn’t sure how to respond. It felt too foreign. Suddenly, he realized just how much he had lost and what he had endured over the decades. He had this once, long ago. This trust and…love…and his heart broke again, even as Inez healed him. Her warm eyes blinked, finally pushing him into action. He gave her a slight nod, then closed his eyes and waited. 

She planted the most achingly soft kiss just on the edge of his scars as she slowly ran her hand down his vibranium arm. Bucky’s body tensed for a moment before it began to shudder, then a small sigh escaped his parted lips. His soft sigh warmed her blood and she shifted on the bed to alleviate the ache between her legs, and the sounds of his pleasure prompted her to plant another soft kiss on his shoulder before moving up to his neck. He threw his head back as she lavished him with her lips, his body relaxing once she finally reached his cheek. He could feel the echoes of his mangled nerves cry out as her warm hand gently caressed his arm, but the feel of her body pressed to his kept his mind tethered to the present. He pushed himself up, grabbing her by the waist and pulled her onto his lap. Inez immediately straddled him, wrapping her arms around his neck pressing their bodies together as she continued to brand his skin with bruising kisses. 

“I need to touch you, sweetheart,” he groaned as his fingers dug into her plush hips and slowly inched up her sides towards her chest. 

“Patience,” she said as she nipped at his earlobe.

He grabbed at her charmeuse dress, the silk texture almost slipping through his fingers as they flexed with the temptation to rip it off. But she looks so damn good in it. His fingers dug into the fabric for a few seconds more before he finally let go. Inez shifted, causing her to grind against his hardened erection, making him hiss at the deliciously agonizing friction. “Fuck, you’re driving me crazy,” he said in a strained voice.

“That’s the point,” she whispered into his ear, sending a jolt of excitement straight to his cock. “Sit back,” she said as she slowly got up and took her place between his legs.

Bucky shifted a bit, his erection growing harder at the sight of Inez getting down on her knees. His chest heaved as her amber flame eyes looked up at him, never faltering as her hands began to work on his belt. “Inez,” he groaned, unable to take his eyes off her. He almost winced when she finally pulled him free, aching and sensitive. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand not to touch her. Her soft hand gave him a few teasing strokes, while the other began to pull down his pants and boxers. He shifted his hips up, giving her enough room to pull his clothes down. She finally looked down to remove the last obstacle standing in her way, his boots. One by one they came off, until finally he sat completely bare before her. 

Inez sat back on her knees and admired him for a moment, her eyes raking over him, doing her best to memorize every elegant curve and valley of his muscled form. She bit her lip as she sat up and leaned forward, relishing the way his chest heaved and his irises dilated. Yet he remained still, not moving an inch as she placed her hands on his thighs. “Do you want me to stop?”

“God, no.” He took a deep breath. “But you don’t have to do this.”

“I know, but I want to.” As if to make her point she leaned forward and crashed her lips into his, all while snaking her hand down between them, grabbing his cock with a firm but gentle hold. 

“Fuck,” he hissed as he came up for air then pulled down her sleeve, exposing her shoulder and the edge of her bra to him.

She let him pull her closer and ravish her neck and shoulder while she continued stroking his throbbing length. She moaned as he took her taut brown nipple into his mouth, making her grip on him falter for a moment. Bucky immediately tried to work this momentary distraction to his advantage by grabbing her backside. “Bucky!” she cried out as he lightly nipped at her breast.

“Fuck, you’re perfect,” he breathed into her skin, intoxicated by her lavender and honey scent. 

At the sound of his voice, Inez snapped back to the present and pulled away again. She slowly lowered herself back onto the floor, letting her now exposed breast gently drag across his chest as she did. The friction against her tender skin made her ache. Once back between his legs she adjusted her dress to cover up.

Bucky groaned in disappointment at the sight. “But I wanted to unwrap you, doll.”

Inez winked at him, “You’ll get your chance soon, I promise.” He watched with wide eyes as she gently took his cock in her hand and lowered her pretty, pink mouth to the tip. The sight almost made him lose all control. 

“Look at you, sweetheart.” He brushed her long thick hair away from her face, transfixed by her. The moment her lips touched him, he let out a guttural moan and he had to look away for fear he would cum in her mouth right there and then. His fingernails dug into the duvet cover as she slowly teased him, taking her time worshiping every inch of him. Another loud moan fell from his lips when she finally took him into her mouth completely. He sat up and reached for her hair, threading his fingers through her soft tresses. Inez groaned in approval and he tightened his grip around the locks of hair and began to guide her head up and down. “Fuck, Inez,” he grit out as he pushed her head down again. “That feels so fucking good.” 

Inez hummed in appreciation of his praise, and the vibration made Bucky suck in a sharp breath. She gripped his thighs like a lifeline as she worked him in and out of her mouth. Bucky let out another “fuck” when she added her hand, working his lower shaft, driving him further and further to the edge of his release. She grinned when he thrust hard into her mouth, hitting the back of her throat. She loved watching him take pleasure from her and lose himself. The look of bliss on his face and his tight grip on her hair had her thighs trembling as she resisted touching herself. She increased the speed of her pumping as she felt him tense beneath her, making Bucky sit up and let go of her hair. 

“Fuck, you better slow down, sweetheart,” he groaned. “Or I’m going to come in your–” he clenched his jaw as he tried to keep his composure, “Mouth if you don’t stop.”

Inez finally pulled back with a sinful pop and looked up, grinning at the sight of him. “So?”

Bucky looked down, heart thundering in his ears. A flash of guilt struck him. She was being so good to him, and it almost felt wrong. I don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve this…

“Do you want me to stop?” Inez asked softly. 

He forced air into his lungs, giving him just enough clarity to shake his head. Inez gave him a warm smile before she lowered her lips back to his waiting cock. Slowly she took him back into her mouth, inch by inch, making him fall back onto his arms. It only took a few more pumps of her soft hand and strokes of her skillful tongue before his body finally gave in. Every muscle tensed, his back arched forward and his mouth opened in a silent moan as she worked him through his orgasm. Each muscle almost cried out as the tension snapped across his body, the delicious agony soon gave way to wave after wave of pleasure. He chanted her name with each breath, gripping the bed until he heard the fabric tear. His arms shook as his body relaxed, looking up when he heard Inez chuckle, her voice a dark, sensual sound. He almost lost his balance at the sight of her wiping her mouth, amber eyes still lit with desire and looking quite pleased with herself. 

She did her best to gracefully get up, her knees a little sore from worshiping him for so long. Another side-effect of the serum? Not that I mind. She bit her lip as she leaned forward, pressing both hands on either side of him before gently pressing her lips to his. Bucky moaned into her mouth, tasting himself on her swollen lips, and he pulled her into his arms before frantically reaching down to start undoing that damn knot on the side of her dress. The feel of her bare skin electrified every oversensitive nerve in his body, making him crave more. Inez let out a small yelp as he flipped her over, his hands feverishly pulling away her dress as his lips found her neck. 

“I thought–” she moaned as he began to suck on her skin. “You’d be tired–” she tried to catch her breath but every brush of his lips seemed to steal it. “After,” she finally choked out. 

Bucky chuckled into her skin. “It might take me a minute to recover,” he nuzzled the sensitive spot behind her ear. “But, I’ve been waiting all night to unwrap you.”

Inez squeezed her thighs together as the heat between her legs became unbearable. Now that she’d had a taste, she was starving for him. It was the most exquisite torture to have him fill her mouth as her empty sex ached. God, she needed to have him cradled between her legs, surrounding her and overwhelming her. She raked her fingers through his hair, pressing herself to him as he began to kiss her cheek, and Bucky responded by giving her ear a light nip before coming back to her lips. A shiver ran through her as he pulled off her dress, slowly. The feel of silk against her skin felt almost sinful as his warm hands that followed the lush fabric’s path. 

“Fucking finally ,” he groaned. He quickly removed her bra and panties, making Inez giggle at his impatience. Once she was laid out before him naked, he paused, ocean blue eyes roaming every inch of her, taking in her soft, lush body. 

Inez instinctively wrapped her arms around her midsection. Despite being almost forty, there was still a part of her that was self-conscious of her body. Years of being told she wasn’t the ideal body type, that she needed to eat less and work out more, had left the insecurity that her body wasn’t desirable enough. Now, faced with a man who looked like he had been carved out of stone, she felt her anxiety spike. She did her best to keep a casual smile as he looked her over, doing her best to not let the intrusive thoughts drown out her desire. His eyes finally locked with hers again, softening slightly as he climbed over her.

“Are you cold?” He asked.

Oh, you sweet, sweet man. “Nope, I’m fine.”

“Then why are you hiding?”

“Hiding?” She feigned innocence.

Bucky frowned slightly before reaching down to pull her arm away from her stomach. “I’ve been waiting all night for this, are you really going to obstruct my view?”

She did her best to chuckle. “I’m sparing you.”

His eyes went cold. “Inez,” his voice went low, if he didn’t look so annoyed she would have found it sexy. 

“I’m just joking.” She was and wasn’t. Faced with the real Bucky, all the insecurities dream Inez had easily pushed away came rushing forward. She was sure he had been with some of the most beautiful women in the world, he was an Avenger after all.

“Don’t do that.”   

She blinked. “What?”

Bucky sighed. “Fine.” He got up and walked to the foot of the bed.

You fucked it up, Shit! The man is throwing himself at you and you just had to fuck it up, you idiot… Before she could finish berating herself, two hands wrapped around her ankles and pulled her to the edge of the bed. She yelped when she came to a stop and immediately sat up to see Bucky standing in front of her. He leaned down, and reached for her hands, pulling her up off the bed, and he walked them over to her full-length mirror, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. Her stomach twisted as she took in her reflection. 

Her cheeks were a deep pink, lips kiss swollen, her previously styled loose curls a beautiful mess, and her chest and neck were red with the burn of his beard. Her eyes then looked down at her plush stomach and large hips. Every imperfection that had been pointed out by her family under the guise of ‘being honest’ seemed to magnify before her, sapping away her arousal. Inez let out a small sigh as she looked over at the perfect specimen of a man behind her. 

“You’re absolutely gorgeous,” Bucky whispered in her ear as he moved her hair away from her neck. “And so fucking sexy,” he said as he planted a soft kiss right behind her ear. Inez fell back into his chest, relishing the feel of his lips traveling down her neck. 

Her mind reeled as flashes of her dreams tried to rush forward, but she kept them at bay; dream Bucky had nothing on the man worshiping her neck. She opened her eyes again to see his locked onto hers, holding back a small gasp at the sight. She had never seen that look before in a man. She had been the object of lust in the past, she had an amazing rack, after all, but she had never felt treasured like this. His eyes began to drift downward, tracing every soft curve of her body as a small smile blossomed onto his lips. 

“Tell me you want this too, sweetheart.”

“Yes,” she moaned as he kissed her neck again. “God, yes.”

His hand slowly dropped away from her, revealing her voluptuous breasts that ached with need. She watched, transfixed, as he smoothed his hands down her sides and back around to pinch her ass. She yelped as she watched his reflection smile and wink at her. Bucky then moved his right hand down between her legs while his left came back up to caress her breasts, lightly pinching her nipple, making her throw her head back against his chest. His cold hand against her flushed skin sent a jolt down her spine, and when he began to lightly pinch the hard peak, she felt her pussy clench in anticipation and her breath escaped her. She closed her eyes, panting and overcome with heat as she lost herself. 

“Watch, baby,” he whispered into her ear, sending another shiver down her spine. She opened her eyes again as he dipped his fingers between her legs. Her cheeks flamed as he spread her and slowly, agonizingly softly circled her bud.

“You’re so wet,” he growled.

He parted her slick folds, making her moan as he began to tease at her entrance. The moment his fingers pushed into her, she almost jerked away, her pussy still sensitive from the orgasm he had given her hours ago. Slowly he began to pump his fingers into her while his left hand resumed teasing her nipple, twisting and pinching it, drawing out another moan from her lips. It took every ounce of self-control to keep her eyes open and focused on what Bucky was doing to her. Just as another orgasm began to build, Bucky leaned forward, shifting his hand and pushing deeper into her, finally reaching the ribbed spot that made her whole body shudder. “Bucky!” She threw her head back, eyes slamming shut as her orgasm began to crest.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart.” Bucky said as he nipped at her earlobe. “I want you to watch as I make you come.” 

Inez groaned, too overcome to obey, but when he slowed the pace of his thrusts she finally complied. Bucky gave her another sly smile before he latched onto her neck and increased the pace of his thrusts. Inez watched, enthralled, as she soaked his fingers with her pleasure. 

“That’s it, good girl.” Bucky groaned as he pressed his hardened length to her ass. 

Bucky kept his eyes locked on hers as she chanted his name over and over again. He gave her clit another light brush as he thrust into her, sending her over the peak. She could see him smile into her neck as her mouth opened and screamed his name so loudly she was sure to get a noise complaint tomorrow. Whatever insecurities about her body that lingered seemed to have shattered along with every cell in her body as her orgasm overwhelmed her. Her body sagged into Bucky, blissfully numb and weightless as she came down from her high. Bucky soothed over the bruise on her neck with a soft kiss before he brought his soaked fingers to his mouth and licked them clean, letting out a satisfied hum as he pulled them out. 

Holy shit! Inez felt her legs buckle underneath her as another jolt of desire struck at her core, she would have melted onto the floor were it not for Bucky’s firm hold. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” Bucky let out a soft chuckle as he bent down and effortlessly picked her up.

“Don’t you dare hide this gorgeous view from me again,” Bucky said as he set her down in the middle of the bed before joining her.

“Yes, sir,” she said breathlessly.

“Good girl.” He leaned down, taking her taut nipple into his mouth, giving it a hard suck before he moved onto the other breast. 

Inez almost lifted off the bed as she bucked in his arms from the attention to her oversensitive breasts. She called out his name and gripped the bedsheets and he eased back a bit, lightly sucking and kissing her breasts. She tried to breathe, but air came in rapid gulps as her body shook in anticipation. She rubbed her legs together desperately trying to alleviate the pressure that was building as he worshiped her body. As much as she wanted him to bury himself in her, she didn’t have the heart or will to stop him from exploring every inch of her. She wanted to give him everything he wanted from her, every piece of her, if only to keep that beautiful smile on his face.   

“Move your head back on to the pillow, sweetheart,” he ordered when he finally pulled back.

While Inez slowly inched herself back until her head reached her pillow, Bucky leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed his wallet from his pants, pulling out a condom. Her amber eyes locked with his as he rolled the condom onto his hard cock and she bit her lips as he flashed her a wicked smile. She sighed in contentment when he finally settled over her; this is what she had dreamed of for weeks now, and she could hardly believe it was real.

“Where did you go?” he asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

She snapped back to the present and smiled. “I’m just so happy you came back.”

He felt his mouth drop open in surprise as he searched her face. She looked at him with such sincerity and trust that he couldn’t help but feel a bit bashful. He leaned down to kiss her, softly at first but, as she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, his kiss deepened. They stayed in that moment a while, breathing each other's breath, feeling their heartbeats sync as their bodies warmed. They slowly moved together to the rhythm of their kisses. Inez groaned when she felt his hardened length press against her stomach–it was so close she couldn't stand it. She opened to him and he settled between her legs, pressing their pelvises together. She felt the hot length of him against her and she brought her hand down to guide him, grinding her sex against his flushed tip as shockwaves skittered up her spine. Bucky groaned as she took her pleasure from him. Finally, he pulled away, breathless, and eyes lit with desire. He pressed his forehead to hers, pulled his hips back, and lined up to her entrance. They held their breaths as he began to push in, her hips coming up to meet his. Time seemed to stop until they both exhaled, their bodies shaking with anticipation. He leaned down again, capturing her lips, kissing her as he got lost in her warmth. 

Inez moaned as she felt him stretch her, fill her, claim her. Her body finally felt satisfied as he pushed all the way to the hilt. She wrapped her legs around his waist and lifted her hips, pulling him further in, making Bucky let go of her lips. “Inez, fuck you feel so good.”

She looked up under dark lashes to see him lost in his own pleasure, making her smile. She reached up and caressed the side of his face and as he leaned into her touch, she was at a loss for words. While her body craved more, her soul was content. She had never seen Bucky look more beautiful than he did when he was at peace and happy. Maybe that hopeful young man who served all those years ago was gone, but here in her arms was the kindest soul she had ever met. If she could provide even a moment of joy for him, she would, as many times as he would allow her.

Despite the temptation to stay nestled in her warmth, Bucky began to move slowly, pulling out completely before crashing back into her. Inez threw her head back, chanting his name over and over again, her voice filling the room like a sacred hymn he’d never tire of hearing. As he increased the rate of his thrusts, she cried out and he felt her begin to flutter around him. He leaned down, capturing her lips, kissing her, tilting her hips and grinding against her, devouring her as she came again. 

He watched her brow furrow and her lips part, taking in the way she moaned against his mouth and tightened around him, willing these moments to burn into his memory. When she finally came down from her high, he slowed down until he simply laid buried in her, placing featherlight kisses around her temples and down her cheek. Inez sighed before she opened her eyes, smiling at the sight of his ocean blues looking down at her. 

“I’m glad I came back too,” he whispered. 

Inez grinned. “Will you stay with me? If it happens again, I mean.”

He sighed, but before he could respond, she placed her hand on his cheek, letting her fingers lightly trace his jaw. “It doesn’t scare me, Bucky. I just want to be there for you, like you were for me.”

He nodded before he leaned down to kiss her again. God, he couldn’t get enough of her lips. “Okay.”

She smiled, heart brimming with joy despite her body slowly waking up from her lust filled daze, crying out for him to move again. “Good, now lay back.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he did what he was told. They both moaned as he pulled out of her and for a moment they both hesitated moving, as if regretting pulling apart. Bucky quickly sat up, his eyes raking over her as she climbed on top of him. She gave him a chaste kiss before she slowly lowered her hips to guide him home into her clutch warmth, throwing her head back when he was again buried inside her. “Fuck,” she moaned as she rolled her hips, guiding his hard length to brush against her walls.

“God, you feel amazing, keep going.” He grabbed her hips and took control, pushing her back before pulling her forward. Inez let him grind her into his hips while she played with her breasts, pulling at her nipples, chasing another high. “God, you’re a vision,” he said breathlessly as he watched her pleasuring herself above him.

“Bucky!” Another orgasm, more intense than the last, made her whole body tense. Her hands fell away from her breasts, bracing herself on his chest as she kept grinding into him. “I need you closer,” she begged, digging her nails into his skin.

Bucky quickly pushed himself up and adjusted her legs to wrap around his waist. Inez moaned, in this new position, each movement made Bucky’s pelvis grind against her overly sensitive clit. “Oh God,” she cried out when Bucky leaned down and took her taut nipple into his mouth. The delicious pinch of his teeth jolted Inez into action, making her grind into his hips. They found a heady rhythm and Bucky held her plush body against his, helping her to move and sucking on every inch of skin he could reach. She rode him, hard, until she shattered again, and again and again, all while Bucky continued to ravish her breasts. 

Fuck, he loved the way she felt when she came around him, and he would do anything to feel it again. It had been so long since he allowed himself to be with someone completely, that he realized how much he missed it. Most of his previous encounters were only a result of getting frustrated when his hand didn’t get him the release he needed. He tolerated the probing questions about his past or gawking if only to end up back at their place. He usually turned his date around and bent her over before pulling down his pants and boxers and taking her from behind. Sometimes he’d lay back and let them take what they wanted while he kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling. But always clothed, only removing just enough to get the job done. It provided a better release than his hand, but not by much. Everything felt mechanical, like he was working out a muscle, and it did little for his soul. His fear of intimacy kept him from fully enjoying sex and the reluctance to bare himself to someone had made it impossible to connect with his past dalliances. Sometimes they’d come back for more, most times they walked away satisfied and boasting they fucked an Avenger.

But being with Inez was completely different. With her, everything felt amplified, from the feel of her skin against his, to the feeling of her thundering heartbeat under his hand as he groped at her chest. Everything felt better with her in this new body. Because in the end, it was a new body. One that had been through unimaginable hurt and pain, one that was branded with scars, tokens of all the cruelty he had to endure and survived. The man who loved Sophia, who had been drafted into the war and fought along with Steve was gone. He never thought he was capable of feeling anything close to what  he felt before all those years ago, but here he was buried deep in a woman who made him feel alive again.

“Bucky!” Inez screamed as she came again .

He blinked then looked down to see Inez crash against him. Her head began to roll forward, the multiple orgasms leaving her drained and making it hard to hold herself upright, but she fought against her tired body if only to keep her head from touching his left shoulder. He smiled, touched at how much care she had with him, even when she was exhausted. He gently pulled her forward, letting her cheek press to his shoulder, making Inez let out a relieved sigh as the cold metal soothed her flushed skin. He tensed for a moment, but the sight of her sleepy smile made him relax again. He waited a few minutes for her to catch her breath. It was only when his body began to protest that he moved again. “Do you want to keep going?”  

“Yes,” Inez took a deep breath. “But I can’t sit up anymore.”

He bit back a grin, feeling a little proud that she was so thoroughly satisfied. “Okay, hold on tight,” he said as he began to shift her back. Without pulling out of her he laid her down on the bed, a long sigh slipping from her lips when her body hit the mattress. 

“Are you sure?” Bucky asked as he nestled himself between her legs. 

She nodded her head. “God yes, please keep going,” she swallowed, voice hoarse from screaming. She was somewhat amazed she had any strength in her left since he kept coaxing orgasm after orgasm out of her. Inez suddenly realized how little she settled for in the past and how Bucky claimed her future, because she doubted she’d ever feel this good with anyone else ever again. 

Bucky pulled back his hips before thrusting hard into her. Inez’s back arched off the bed, pressing her breasts against him, her body a livewire, and it only took another hard thrust before she came again, this one taking her by surprise and leaving her panting. Bucky braced his left hand on the headboard, while looping the other underneath her, pulling her flush with his body as he continued to thrust into her, needing her as close as he could, his body already addicted to the way she fit against him. 

Inez felt like she could drown as wave after wave of pleasure washed over her. Bucky’s labored breathing was the only thing she could hear over the sound of her heart racing. She could feel him lose himself, his body tensing above her as he chased his release. Her body cried out with him as he moaned her name, a sound so sweet and perfect, it quickly became her favorite sound in the world. He held her tight and rode her hard while her blood sizzled and her legs grew weak as she spasmed around him. The sensation burned through her core, pressure building and her hips tightening. 

He lost himself in her the scent of their joining, the erotic sounds surrounding them, their breaths ragged and harsh. Inez moaned low in her throat and Bucky felt the vibrations echo in his chest. He sped up, listening to her frantic pleas become desperate. He brought his hand between them and lightly brushed her clit and she exploded. Lights burst behind her eyes and she could feel her magic hum in her veins, rushing throughout her body as another wave of pleasure crashed around her. For a moment she feared she’d lose control and cast, but as Bucky continued to thrust into her the thought slipped away. Instead, her magic made her body grow warm and hum in a way that amplified every sensation. It was almost too much and at the same time not enough. Her fingernails dug into Bucky’s skin as she held onto him. “James, James, James…” she whispered in tandem with each thrust. “God, I’ve-”, before she could finish her thought, Bucky captured her lips, making her mind go blissfully blank. 

The knot in Bucky’s core finally snapped, making him rut her as his own orgasm overwhelmed him. He chanted her name into her lips as the wave of ecstasy hit him and her vice-like walls came down around him, almost making him see stars. His hips stilled as he finally came, the only sound their labored breathing and heartbeat thundering in his ears. 

“Bucky,” Inez let out a long sigh.“ Te adoro,” She whispered into his lips. 

Bucky smiled. “Ditto.” 

Shaking arms kept him from collapsing on top of her, and it wasn’t until she wrapped her arms around him that he sank into her. Face buried into her hair, he sighed as she stroked his back. She was soft and warm and he wanted nothing more than to stay buried in her magnificent body, his new home. What he did to deserve her, he may never know, but he knew he was a lucky bastard. One that was being given the privilege to ravish this stunning woman who somehow saw past his sins and pain, and brought him back to life. He would atone by worshiping at her altar and drinking from her chalice. They remained joined, suspended in time, both unwilling to let go.

------------------------------------------------------------

Inez’s body crashed onto the bed after Bucky let go of her hips. Her face burrowed into the pillow as she shifted her knees back, laying face down on the mattress. She didn’t think it was possible, but Bucky had managed to find another position to coax an even more intense orgasm from her. Even though she missed being able to kiss him as she came, she loved the way he gripped her hips and took her from behind. 

“You’re amazing,” he said as he laid down beside her and took her into his arms. He quickly pulled the duvet cover over them, even though his brow was slick and his body still burned with her touch, Inez was shaking. He wasn’t sure if it was the aftershocks of their latest session or the cold of the room, which she graciously allowed him to lower to 70 degrees. He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair.

Inez shifted, turning onto her side. “You’re just saying that because I made you dinner,” she quipped.

“Dinner was just a bonus.” He brushed a stray strand of hair off her face. “Thank you.”  

“For the meatloaf?”

He chuckled. “Yes and…” He sighed. “For letting me come back. After what I did, you had every right to shut me out.”

She frowned. “Bucky, stop. I do understand why you ran. I know how pain can get overwhelming and that the last thing you want to do is hurt the ones you care about when you’re dealing with it.”

“I’ve got a lot of hurt and guilt for what I’ve done–”

“Bucky, it wasn’t your fault–”

“I know,” he planted a tender kiss on her lips. “But the guilt is still there and that may never go away. I hurt people; some were good people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” Bucky's voice began to break so he quickly inhaled before continuing. “That guilt also stems from feeling like a burden to the people who love me. I’ve put them through hell and back.” He gently cupped the side of her face. “The last thing I want to do is put you through that hell, too.”

“You'd make a much stronger argument if you weren’t lying next to me naked.” She kissed the tip of his nose but that did little to wipe the frown off his face. “Your past doesn’t scare me, Bucky.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve spent your freedom trying to do good and helping people. You didn’t have to atone, but you still tried to heal some of the hurt that they made you cause.” Bucky raised an eyebrow in confusion which made Inez give him a small grin. “The soldiers I interviewed told me a lot about their war buddy who is always willing to lend a hand, fight for their needs, and willing to give them a shoulder to lean on when they need it. A lot of them look up to you.”

“Well, most are younger than me,” he chuckled. “I’m glad my work has helped them, It’s hard to tell when most of them give me a hard time.”

“Whippersnappers, what are you going to do?”

Bucky let out a loud laugh that made her heart warm, the sound was so beautiful that she would gladly keep making bad jokes to keep him laughing. It was moments like this, when his walls went down and his carefree self came out that made her fall for him more and more. 

“Beautiful and wise, how did I get so lucky?” He asked as he nuzzled into her neck.

“You were due for some good luck.” She said lightly. She took a deep breath, doing her best to summon her courage to tell Bucky about who she really was, who she had tried to forget all these years. Marco had known since he came from a family of Brujas, but she had never shared her abilities with others since her family had drilled it into her head to keep her identity secret. Brujas and witches had learned over thousands of years just how easily mortals went from fear to anger and prejudice. “And you’re not the only one with a past,” she said quietly.

Bucky sat up on his arm, the hairs on the back of his neck rising. “Yours can’t be as bad.”

Inez flinched, kicking herself for ruining what was a tender moment with her guilt. Hiding her abilities from Bucky didn’t feel so wrong at first, but now that they were obviously enamored with each other, telling him the truth felt more urgent. She opened her mouth, but a long yawn came out instead. Her body was now begging for her to rest after they had spent hours ravishing each other. Another side effect of the super soldier serum seemed to be increased stamina and the recovery period of someone many decades younger. She didn’t mind though, she was happy to have someone who had as large of an appetite as she did, but it seemed her body had finally hit its limit. 

“We should try to get some sleep,” he said before kissing her temple. 

“Are you going to let me?!” she asked as she settled into his arms.

Bucky laughed as he laid back down. “I’m tired too, you know.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Really?” 

“I could use a quick nap.”

Inez bit her lip, “I might need a few hours to recover.”

He smiled. “Of course. Goodnight sweetheart.”

“Good night, mi venado .” she whispered as she closed her eyes.

For the first time in over eighty years, Bucky didn’t mind closing his eyes to go to sleep, not when he had Inez in his arms. Whatever his tortured mind threw his way, he didn’t care, not when he had something wonderful to wake up to. As he drifted into what he hoped was a dreamless sleep, the question Raynor had tasked him with answering came to mind. What did he want from his new life? As her arm draped across his chest, the answer finally came to him; Inez.

Chapter Text

The warmth of the morning sun began to gently kiss the side of her face, pulling her from a fitful slumber. The fear that the previous night was nothing but a dream kept her from falling completely asleep. She took a deep breath as she prepared to open her eyes, but a heavy arm kept her from inhaling fully. Her eyes flew open and looked down to see Bucky’s arm draped across her chest. Relief flooded her as she ran her fingers through his disheveled locks, making Bucky sigh and pull her closer. She let out a small chuckle as he buried his face into her hair before falling back asleep, and soon the room was filled with his soft snoring. Despite the morning sun now flooding the room and the outside world waking, she didn’t want to get out of bed. She wanted to stay like this, wrapped in his arms, safe and warm. Home, he felt like home. It was a sensation she’d never had but chased her whole life. She let her mind fantasize about freezing this moment in amber as she desperately tried to commit every detail to her memory. Moments like this were few and far between. Happiness had always been a wild wind that easily slipped through her fingers. 

Horns sounded and men yelled. It seemed everyone was now fully awake. Her heart ached as she realized they’d soon have to depart. Last night felt like a gift, but at that moment in the morning sun it also felt like a curse. She now knew what it was to fall asleep beside him, wake to the sound of his breathing and his body pressed against hers. How was she supposed to walk away now? She carefully pulled away from Bucky, her body crying out for him the moment she slipped out of bed. She grabbed her white silk robe and walked over to the window, peaking through the heavy curtains and looking out onto the chaos she willingly chose. She reached for her neck. While she only found warm skin, her fingers still traced the phantom pendant. It was always a comfort to trace the smooth edges of her necklace when she was worried, the small and last piece of her mother always grounded her. The sound of sheets rustling made her turn back to her bed. Bucky was turned over on his stomach, his back marked with red scratches from the countless times he made her shatter. 

She pressed her thighs together. She could still feel the lingering heat as her mind replayed the highlights of last night. She smiled at the delicious ache, the one that would stay with her for days, reminding her of his fingers, mouth and the way he filled her, claimed her, and branded her. Fuck. She admonished herself. This wasn’t supposed to happen, she wasn’t supposed to let it get this far. This was all too much, too soon. She ran her fingers through her tangled locks as she began to panic. She could feel the shift; what they had was becoming more than attraction, more than desire, more than a distraction. You can’t do this, you can’t be selfish and put him in harm's way. If they found out… her body shuddered. It’s fine, I’m thousands of miles away. I can pull back, there is still time. She could feel her eyes sting with tears; cold logic was little comfort. She fell a while back. He got past her defenses, charming his way into her life, and now she couldn’t imagine it without him. That four letter word felt like a curse, begging to be spoken, begging to ensnare her. 

She shook her head, forcing all the impossible feelings to the back of her mind. She needed her wits about her, she needed to be the logical one. She didn't have the luxury of daydreaming and wishing. White picket fences and dancing in the moonlight were not meant for her. She inhaled to keep from crying as she remembered what he dreamt about, the flashes of a future she knew could never come to pass. Her heart began to beat wildly as the panic started to set in, the one she had kept at bay since she met Bucky. The happiest morning she’d ever had had started to be muted in the gray of her reality. A reality she would do anything to keep from hurting him. Her hand closed, but remained empty, her mother’s pendant wasn't there to comfort her. If only she could speak to her now, if only she could ask for sound advice on how to let go of someone she really cared for, of someone she loved. The realization wrapped around her battered heart as the tears finally escaped her. 

Someone yelled at a fool for crossing them, barking orders to get out of the way. The reminder of what awaited them outside pulled her out of her spiral and she finally forced herself to look at the small clock by her bed. She needed to wake him up and tell him to leave, he had more important things to do than comfort her. She walked over to him but stopped at her nightstand. With a shaking hand, she picked up his dog tags, running her thumb over the indented metal, burning his tag numbers into her mind. She brought them to her lips, softly pressing a kiss to them before whispering a prayer. It felt like a drop in the ocean, she knew there wasn’t much she could do to protect him, but the small gesture eased the vice that fear had around her heart. Once she laid the dog tags back onto the nightstand, she took a seat beside him, caressing the side of his face, making Bucky stir. 

“Bucky,” she whispered. “It’s time to get up.” 

Bucky groaned as he opened his eyes. “Suns barely up, doll.” He dug his face into his pillow. “Get back in bed.”

“We can’t, we’ll get-,”

Bucky pulled her down on top of him, making her let out a small yelp of surprise. She began to protest, but lost her words when his lips began to worship the side of her neck and his hand ran up into her hair. 

“Is that a scar?” Bucky asked as he pulled his fingers away from the nape of her neck.