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It was an ordinary day in Seattle Grace Mercy West hospital where the tired residents fought over interesting cases or the gratitude of their attendings. All of them switched between specialties a lot, but at this point in time they already knew what they wanted to pursuit next. Meredith was torn between neuro and general, but after the trial accident she chose general with Bailey and Richard as her teachers, Cristina chose the cardio goddess Teddy, April started to have a liking in trauma with Owen as her mentor, Jackson really liked plastics and he faced some challenges with Mark, but after some time he really enjoyed his company and mentorship, Alex had Arizona and even Lexie had Derek. They all worked together on some cases and somehow Jackson landed next to Alex in lots of surgeries. Sadly kids are very reckless and most parents are the type that would rather watch TV than actually parent. So the two shared the OR lots of time.
Jackson found him very arrogant and full of himself. He could say that he didn’t like this guy very much, as he only saw this dumb and rude surgeon who is a shark that would eat you whenever he has the oportunity. And in the OR is almost the same. Almost. Alex found Jackson annoying because he was so perfect in everything he does and says. He is the living legacy of the biggest awards in the medical world and he is like the epitome of the word “perfect”. He was disgusted and reppeled by this behaviour and didn’t really like him. In the OR he was trying to be perfect, but sometimes his mask would slip and he would make mistakes. He wasn’t as perfect as he thought.
The two boys ended up sharing the OR at least five times a week and they had enough time to actually talk while they operate. With time the two realised they are not this bad picture they had in their heads, and that they are pretty similar. Jackson learned that Alex had a very messed up past, of course just a general story, the big picture and that this tough guy act is just a way for him to not get close to people and not get hurt when they choose to leave him. Another reason was the fact that, this way he will be taken seriously, and when Jackson found this out, he kinda felt bad for judging him. Alex on the other hand learned that Jackson hated the fact that his name carried such big responsabilities and expectations and he was tired of people comparing him with his family or teachers to compare other students with him. He hated the fact that others said behind his back that he didn’t really earn his place in this hospital, and that he got here only because of his name. Alex really changed his perspective on this boy and his life. He let him get close to him, he lowered his guard because he felt that he could be trusted.
These two started to talk a lot more in the OR, and with time they found out they had the same interests and likings, football and soapy, romantic movies being some of them. As they got used to eachother’s presence, Alex invited Jackson to the bar to have some drinks and to continue talking about their past and their hardships. They shared stories from med school and from their first year of residency. And they agreed to help eachother with some studies and papers just so they can spend some more time discussing all kinds of things. Once, when all the doctors in Meredith’s house had time off, they watched a movie. It was a group hangout that they really enjoyed, with Meredith and Derek on one side of the couch, hugged and cuddled into one another, on the other side, Owen and Cristina were doing the same, while on the fluffy matress in front of the couch were sitting Mark and Lexie that clearly loved eachother but didn’t want to accept it, so they were just touching shoulders, until Lexie fell asleep on Mark’s shoulder and he hugged her and used his chest as pillow for her. Besides them were sitting Alex and Jackson, side hugging and beside them, were Callie and Arizona, Callie hugging her wife and Arizona stroking Arpil’s head that was rested on her lap, even Callie would do it sometimes. The two boys liked to tease one another and during the movie, they would do all kinds of things, form putting their hand on eachother’s chest or entangle their feet to talking diry. This continued for a while with all of them behaving like a big and very messy family, teasing and talking to eachother. When the two boys got tired of teasing eachother, Jackson moved himself so now he would be with his back against Alex’s chest and he would have a pair of hands wrapped loosely around him.
This was a clear sign that Alex trusted him and it was rarely seen of the boy to show this kind of affection with anyone except his closest person. Jackson knew how much this meant and that is when he started to have feelings for the boy. It was weird, but the fact that, with him, he didn’t feel like needing to act tough or to be a jerk made Jackson find the boy attractive. Also, now he knew that he trusted him enough to be vulnerable around him made the boy feel happy and excited. Alex knew how important physical contact is for him because this is the thing that he likes the most and craves the most. Besides that, he was very happy when he felt Jackson relief the stress from his body and for the first time in months he was completely relaxed. This pressure made him always act stiff around strangers and even around his friends sometimes. It was rare when he saw the boy fully relaxed and it usualy happened when he was home with his friends and all of them were too tired to act to a certain socially acceptable norm. After the movie finished, almost all of them were knocked out, all in a deep sleep, only Meredith was still half awake, as she saw the beautiful family she had. Lexie was resting on Mark’s chest, and Mer’s hands were stroking her hair. Alex somehow ended with his head against Callie’s shoulder and on the other rested Arizona and in her lap was April’s head. All three girls were sleeping soundly and Alex had one arm wrapped around Jackson and one hand on April’s head. Derek hugged Meredith tight with one arm and with the other he rested it upon Mark’s other shoulder. His legs and Owen’s were tangled and the ginger was hugging Cristina. The girl had her hand on Alex’s shoulder and it was a very rare sight to be seen. Meredith was happy that with the good and the bad, this was her family and no one could change that. This was a place where she mattered and felt seen, heard and loved, and as a matter of fact, each and any one of them would sacrifice anything for eachother. Long hours and close partners make the perfect place to found a family, a non conventional one, but still, a family nontheless.
One time they were leaving the hospital early as the day was somehow very quiet, nothing chaotic or energy draining, just a miracle gave by the universe in terms of hospital days. As they went home, they were in a very good mood and sat on the couch and talked about a lot of things, from daily complains of overwork to the sharing of memories and jokes. As Jackson told the short man his disastruos dating life and how he once fell in love, but needed to leave his girlfriend because she clearly didn’t love him he made a silly dirty joke that made Jackson both laugh and blush a little. He smacked his friend’s hand and then leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear that he was very cute when he talked dirty because he talked like he was confident enough to actually do the things he said. Alex remained still for a moment, trying to restart his brain as this actually made him shut down mentally. But when Jackson said that he managed to break him, he started to poke his sides, and the black boy quickly backed off.
"Hey! Don’t do that!"
"Hmmm, someone’s ticklish." he said looking mischevious.
"No, I’m not." he lied, with a big smile plastered across him face.
"Yeah sure, come here!" he said as he tried to get a grip on his friend’s sides, but he was quicker and already got up.
Alex chased the boy for a little while, sometimes managing to catch him for a few seconds and tickling him. He then heard for the first time in his life true laughter and saw him happy for the first time since they knew eachother. He felt like a kid and he let himself behave like one because this was actually fun, just being free and not worry about what others would think about this. Also the fact that his best friend was the one that chased him made things even better as he now knew that their friendship is a genuine one, he accepted how he was and didn’t expect him to act perfect like the rest of the world. When he got close enough to try and tickle him again, Jackson managed to catch his wrists before they hit his sides and to throw Alex on the couch. Then, both of the boys laughed at their shenanigans and at how stupid yet freeing this was. They looked at eachother, deep in their eyes and smiled wide when they felt like this was a safe space for them to act exactly how they are, not covered by some façade. Alex sat on his butt on the couch and patted the spot next to him. Jackson looked at him hesitantly, wondering if he would start to tickle him again or would let him be and when the shorter one noticed, he placed his hands behind his head. This made the blue eyed boy to sit next to his friends, knowing that to Alex, a promise is a promise, but he was not expecting for the boy to lie down on the couch, with his head in his lap. Alex smiled up at him, looking like a puppy with those big eyes. Jackson looked at him and his stomach started to feel a little fuzzy, his heart rate going a little faster and feeling the urge to kiss him. He refrained himself and put his hand on Alex’s head and started to caress it.
"I wanted to thank you."
"For what?" Jackson asked puzzled.
"For taking the time to get to know me and for understanding me and for being patient with me. I think you are the first person with whom I felt so comfortable so fast and I feel like I can share with you anything and everything. Also I can be myself around you and I don’t know how, but I sometimes feel vulnerable around you, like I can feel and I can tell you about my feelings and frustrations that I badly learned to transform them into sourness, jerkiness and sometimes even hatred and physical manifestations."
"Wow…I never thought you were able to actually speak up your emotions and feelings." he said teasingly, taking his hand into his and squishing it.
"Hey! Rude!" Alex responded, pinching Jackson’s abdomen.
"Ouch! I’m joking, I’m joking! Thank you for trusting me enough with being vulnerable and by the way I like having you around me. I don’t know how you do it, but every time you are here, I can relax because I know you wouldn’t judge me, and you actually encourage me to relax and to not be so perfect all the time. Also I know you aren’t very keen on physical touch and I really wanna thank you for allowing me to be myself and show you how I care about you in my way."
"How sweet!" he said as he squished his hand back.
The two boys then continued to talk about all kinds of things, from the latest news and gossip of the hospital to personal drama to actually revealing more about their past and about their trauma and feelings. They were extremely vulnerable with eachother and they fully trusted eachother in those moments. It was amazing for them to be able to tell one another how they really felt and it was extremely gratifying to hear the other thanking them for their support, trust and understanding.It continued like this until the rest of their friends came home and joined in the discussion, some whining about the hard shift or talk about heir latest case and some doozing off cause of tiredness or still being energic enough to prepare a meal and tease others, both physically and verbally.
It was finally time for Jackson to leave the hospital and sleep because he was tired as hell. His shift ended but before that it ended him because he had surgery after surgery and his cognitive and physical capacities were drained. He was wrapping up his work and getting ready to go home, he just needed to place back some gauze he didn’t ended up using. When he entered the supply room, he was a little stunned to see Alex on the floor, silently sobbing and hugging his knees while he had his back up against a shelf. Jackson dropped to his knees and stared at him for a second before he could think of something to tell the boy.
"Alex, what happened?!"
"…"
"Aleeex!"
"…"
"Hey, hey! Breathe! What happened?"
"I-I-I am bl-bleeding…elevator."
"Oh…Alex, you are not bleeding, you are fine, it happened a year ago. It’s ok, you are not bleeding, you are safe…"
"It hurts… elevator…bleeding."
"Do you want me to apply pressure over the wound?"
"Y-yes."
And like that, Jackson helped the short boy to lie on the floor, he placed his head on his legs and applied pressure. While he pressed the soft skin of Alex’s belly, he did with him the breating exercises he did with patients so many times. Alex was having a vivid flashback and all the memories came flooding in his mind overwhelming him and making him collapse. He hated being alone as this made his thughts just be louder in his head. Jackson wiped the tears his friend had and continued to apply pressure. After a time Alex started to calm down and could speak coherently now.
"The memories, all came flooding, the bullets from the walls and Reed and oh gosh!"
"It’s ok, it all passed some time ago. I still miss her but it is what it is. You are here, alive and that is all that matters right now."
"Alive? This is what you call alive? I can barely form a sentence because of this stupid feelings and memories. I hate it!"
"I get it. We should go home, you should really sleep. You need it and it’ll do you good. Lemme help yo-"
"No you don’t. I don’t want to go with you. I don’t need your pity and your help."
"Fine! I tried, but I can’t help you even if I wanted. So good luck, cause I’m out of here!" he said getting up and slamming the door on his way out.
Alex jumped a little when he heard the door shut and the memories that he so desperately tried to avoid came flooding his mind yet again. He got up on his butt and backed off into the first shelf, hugging his knees and actually crying this time. He was desperate and his mind was a complete mess. Besides that, he was afraid and worried that he shooed the only person that cared for him and tried to help him even when he was such a big ass. He was scared that he ended up alone and in a cold hospital, where everything is reminding him of those moments, of these fears, of everything. As minutes went by, he started to believe that he was a lost cause and that he actually deserved his fate as this was the universe’s way to let him know that he was a little too much of a jerk. After some more minutes went by, Jackson opened the door and stared at Alex, looking exactly like an hour ago when he first found him.
"Ok, I wanted to leave, but I realised that you can’t really help this tough guy act you have. Believe me I tried to leave, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave you, my best friend, here, and suffer in silence when I know I can help you. And I will, even if I have to do it by force."
"Get out!" Alex said with a half voice through his crying.
"Make me!" he yelled.
"..el..m.."
"What did you say, I couldn’t hear you?"
"Help me. Please."
"Ok, lie down or do you need a hand?"
"I’m ok, I can do it alone." he said as he tried to lie down.
"Lemme help you with it." he said as he placed his legs under his head and helped him lay down. "Now I’ll place this gauze that will hold the pressure needed to stop the bleeding, ok?"
"Y-yeah."
"Here. Now you are not bleeding anymore. So, will you do the breathing exercises to calm down a little or are you going to be stubborn like you always are?"
"I’ll do them."
"Good, then breathe after me."
Mind you Alex was talking with Jackson through tears and heavy breathing and as the two boys did that, he started to calm down. Jackson wiped his tears off with his thumbs and stayed there with him a little longer, talking to him about everything that he liked to take his mind off the shooting. After a while, he helped Alex get up and went to change themselves and go home. The blue eyed boy drove them to Mer’s house and he asked Alex if he wanted something to drink. He agreed almost instantly and as he handed him the drink he downed it immediately. Jackson sent him to sleep, because he needed it and like that, he went to his room, all alone yet again. Yeah, there were other people in the house, but he was alone in his room, where the coldness has spread among every corner and every nook and crany. He sat on his bed and wondered how could he end up in this situation yet again, surrounded by the things that made him remember those horror moments. When he noticed that the shooting was entering his mind again, he decided to go downstairs and to eat something, to try and clear his mind. But he didn’t get to eat anything because at the kitchen table was sitting Jackson in an undershirt, looking over something drom a holder.
"Why are you still up so late in the night?" asked the blue eyed boy curious.
"Well, I couldn’t sleep…"
"Do you want some sleeping pills?"
"No. No pills. Definetly no pills."
"Then why can’t you sleep?"
"Oh, screw it, I already been vulnerable around you so what does it matter now. The coldness and silence from my room are not very helpful in making me forget about those memories and in wanting me to sleep."
"Here’s a better question, when was the last time you slept?"
"I dunno…"
"Alex…"he said with shock and dissapointment in his voice.
"I think 4 or 5 days ago. I’ll just wait till I collapse from sleep exhaustion and then I’ll sleep."
"Alex, you are a doctor for god’s sake. You know better than anyone that resting is important for the body."
"Why are you up so late?" Alex asked quickly just so he can change the subject.
"Well, reading something."
"Yeah, that I could tell, but what are you reading about?"
"I’ll tell you only if you sleep. And I need to make sure that you don’t cheat."
"But I told you I can’t-"
"Come with me, I have an idea. he said as he grabbed the smaller boy’s hand and dragged him into his warmer room. Take off your jeans and jacket."
"Huh? Why? What are yo-"
"It must be uncomfortable to sleepin those, right?"
"Yeah..." he said as he hesitantly, but carelessly took down the clothing from his body, remaining in black boxers and a thin blue shirt.
"Now get in." he said as he also went under the covers.
And then Jackson fell silent. He waited for Alex to become more comfortable and after some minutes he placed a hand around his waist and started to caress his lower back. After some more minutes, Alex actually snuggled closer to Jackson, placing his face almost in the blue eyed boy’s chest. Jackson smiled and cuddled him, and caressed his hair, and patiently waited for him to fall asleep. He didn’t need to wait for him a lot as he almost instantly fell into a deep sleep, because of the warm embrace of his best friend, and caring and comforting touches he provided. Alex didn’t want to admit it, but he loved this and loved to be vulnerable, around Jackson especially. He was missing this comforting feeling and the happiness being vulnerable and accepted as you are gave him. When the black boy made sure his best friend and crush fell asleep, he let himself sleep too, thinking at how lucky he was to have him be so comfortable in his arms and to be so close to him, the only person who is tougher to crack than a raw coconut. They were hugging loosely and were having a smile plastered across their face. Jackson also had his hand loosely and sloply thrown on the smaller boy’s head.
When the morning came, Alex was cuddled against Jackson’s chest hugging him tight and having one of his hands on the boy’s neck, and Jackson was holding him strongly in his arms. When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was the warm, scented chest of Jackson and when he looked up, he saw the gorgeous face of his best friend. Then he became aware of the position they both were in. Alex, for the first time since Izzie left him was feeling all fuzzy and like an emotional mess again. His stomach was tingling and his heart was beating faster. His breath shortned and his head was invaded by rushing thoughts and repressed urges. He was all melting inside when he saw the boy sleeping so peacefully and he liked how he seemed to melt when he massaged his neck. He also noticed how tight he was holding him and how soft his touch was on his head. He let his toughts rush for some time, but then came back to reality and started to panic a little. He was feeling all these things, but what if he didn’t feel like this too, or if he wasn’t into boys. After all he discovered that he was bi in this blessed morning so, maybe he Jackson wasn’t into boys. Anyway, he felt like he needed to run away and leave for a while to ponder what was happening with him and his feelings.
He started to move and was trying to get out of the tight prison, but he was actually struggling. After some more movement, he woke the boy up and he was smiling towards him with his beautiful complexion.
-Good morning!
-Hey, morning!
-How did you slee-
-Slept amazing, but I’m running late to my shift. See you! he said as he quickly got out of the bed and avoided his gaze.
-Ok…Jackson said a little dissapointed looking at the door that his crush passed moments ago.
Alex was happy he escaped that moment and those feeling and went to the kitchen to eat something. There he met Lexie and April talking and making some breakfast. They were looking at the folder Jackson had yesterday and were reading it, interested and curious to whom it belonged. They asked Alex if he knew anything and he lied, saying that he didn’t knew whose folder was that. The girls gave it to him to take a look and the first thing he noticed was the title, “Sleep studies and improving sleep” in regards of traumatic episodes. He was lost in his thoughts again as he remembered how the black boy helped him last night with his sleep and the fact that he researched how to help him, made his heart flutter and his stomach to turn inside out. He actually loved this perfect boy, in his eyes anyway. He set aside the folder and started to wonder again about his newfound feeling of love and care for this stupid, silly man that rebuilt so many faces and made people feel like themselves again and he even let himself fantasize about having him in his arms, kissing him and run his fingers up and down his cheek and arm and head. He would sometimes talk to the 2 girls as to not arouse any suspicions about the folder, and was actually happy for the first time in months. As Jackson came down, Alex left to change and went out the door to go to the hospital. He asked the girls if the short one was behaving wierdly, but they said that they didn’t noticed anything suspicious in particular about him and that maybe he was just having a jerk day.
In the hospital things weren’t great either. When Alex would met the boy, he would change the direction and go in the opposite way just to avoid him. The short guy really couldn’t stand in his presence, as all kinds of thoughts would flood his mind and he would start to feel like he was about to collapse. Plus he still needed to learn how to accept the fact that he liked boys and one boy in particulat, as he still was his best friend. He thought of asking Meredith for advice, but she was all wrapped up in Zola’s battle for custody that he didn’t want to bother her. Cristina was next on his mind, but quickly let down this option as he saw hers and Owen’s trouble. Also he knew that the girl would tease the fuck out of him. For the moment he decided that it would be better to just deal with the thoughts alone. But he was a doctor after all, and he needed to be professional when he worked in the hospital. So when he was paged with Jackson on the same cases, he really fought everything in himself to just be professional, and so he only talked to him about the medical procedures and diagnosis. He tried to keep it as short and exact as he could and he also let himself envelop in cases to bury the feelings he has. Jackson found this behaviour very suspicious but he let the boy be, as he used to do this kind of stuff sometimes. Alex really was wondering if he really liked him and all he needed was time. Time he didn’t have because one, he worked in a hospital and two, Jackson lived in the same house as him. He would be able to accept the fact that he loved him, but first he needed to accept the fact that he liked boys too.
When he got home he avoided Jackson like the plague. If he entered the kitchen he would leave for the living room or if he would knock at his door to ask if he wanted something, he was doing everything in his power to shoo him from the door. He really was trying to avoid the boy at all costs. Jackson started to worry and to find this suspicious. He never behaved like this for so long. Also he was his best friend, why would he ignore him? Alex knew that he could confide in him anytime he wanted and that he was there for him when he needed someone. This thing continued for a week and Alex was starting to get used to the fact that he liked both women and men, but still wasn’t accepting it. Also his feelings for Jackson only became stronger as he saw how stubborn he was in trying to talk to him. Jackson was getting more upset with each weird interaction with Alex. He loved this stupid boy since they became good friends and when he finally had him in his arms, he started to distance himself. As the thoughts started to keep him up all night and could not get a good sleep because of them, he decided to confide his feelings to someone. He picked April for this job because, like it or not, she was Jackson’s good friend and also she was the most understanding one from all the group.
"Hey April! Do you have a minute?" asked Alex coy and with a blush on his face.
"Yeah… You know that you are acting weird right?"
"What do you mean? Do you insinuate that I can’t talk to you just because I want to?"
"Frankly, yes. You and I aren’t really very good friends because some people don’t know when to stop being jerks."
"Hey!"
"Ok, I was half joking about the last part. I saw how you behaved with Jackson and that is a part of you I haven’t seen like ever."
"About that. I was wondering… what do you think about bisexuals?"
"I don’t have any opinion on them. They are people like me and you and they aren’t any different that any of us. It isn’t wrong what they are doing or what they are feeling. All of these things are valid and they should not be ashamed to claim this label."
"Well… do you have any advice on how to make someone accept their label?"
"Hmm… be proud of yourself and don’t let others drag you down in their mud. You shouldn’t repress part of yourself just because others think it’s not normal and if you think the same, you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself the reality. There isn’t anything wrong in being who you are and you should not deny the reality just because you don’t like it. Also talking to someone might help this person accept themselves for who they are. And one more thing, you should accept this because, maybe you will find happiness and power from this label."
"Thank you for the advice. It is really helpful. I know I’ve been an ass to you, and you didn’t deserve it. So I will apply the advice you gave me and tell you that I think I am bisexual, but I find it really hard to accept this thing."
"Wow… I never thought you would tell me about this, but the universe works in weird ways doesn’t it?"
"Yes it does."
"Well then, I am glad to hear that youhave enough trust to tell me this. And don’t forget the fact that you are not different than me or anyone else. You are you and the only thing you can do is accept the reality and live happily with this part of yourself or deny it and live in sadness and pain."
"If I think about it, I really feel better now that we talked about this. Thank you again for this. Also, do you know if Jackson is… you know…?"
"Oh, yeah. He definetly is. I saw him make out with some boys in med school and he was pretty into it. Why do you as…? OH MY GOD! YOU LIKE-"
"Shhshhshsh! Don’t yell! He might hear you!" Alex said with a dumb smile on his face.
"Oh my god! The boy whose heart is as hard as a rock, managed to fall in love with the sweetest boy in the world. Awwww how sweet."
"Don’t you even dare tease me about it. But yes, I think I love him. Like I get all blabbery and start to lose my composure when I’m near him. And my heart is beating faster and my mind starts to wonder and thoughts are running wild. Thoughts like kissing him, or holding his hand or hugging him are flooding my mind and-"
"Ok lover boy, it’s clear that you really love him and it’s clear that you care about him. Don’t ever have a doubt about this and please don’t try to deny love. I saw too many movies where the two denied their love and then realised they loved eachother only after years of pain and silent suffering."
"I can’t even explain how much this means to me. I’m so sorry I was such a jerk to you and I’m so sorry I judged you. You are kind-hearted and a good advisor. You really deserve the title of chief resident."
"It’s ok Alex! Really! I get that this is how you cope with feelings and with things in general. You developed this mechanism as a means to protect yourself from pain and suffering, so I get you. Now go to sleep because you look like a zombie."
"Haha, very funny. Good night April!"
"Good night Alex!"
As the short boy left the kitchen and went upstairs, Lexie appeared out of nowhere and started to giggle like a crazy person. She shortly confessed to April that she heard all the discussion and she was set on making the 2 boys a couple because if she couldn’t find love, atleast she sould help others find it.
"Lexie what do you have in mind?" the girl said with a smirk on her face.
"Well…I was wondering if you would want to play cupidon a little?"
"Count me in! I always wanted to do that!"
"Ok. Firstly we need to find out if Jackson feels the same about Alex. Then we will talk with Mer and Cristina to help us devise a plan to make them a couple."
"I couldn’t agree more."
When Alex woke up the next day, he really felt better about all his feelings. He started to accept the fact that yes, he liked boys and girls, and nothing is wrong with that. Also he started to even want Jackson near him, but he knew that it would be weird if he didn’t like him back and their friendship would be ruined because of that. So he still continued to avoid him like the plague, but this time, he would stare at him whenever he had the chance to. He admired him from distance, and he was very content with this because, this way he wasn’t a blabbery mess and could let his thoughts ran free in his head and fantasize about him.
Jackson started to worry about the short boy because his behaviour was extremely weird. Also he noticed that he behaved like that only when he was near. This really started to upset the blue eyed boy, as his crush avoided him like like hell since the had their moment in his bed. He was so close to him, now they barely exchange some words. He didn’t know exactly when this started, but the feelings were there and he could feel them. The boy decided not to tell him anything about it because for all he knew he was as sttraight as a ruler. His heart was broken when he saw how much effort the short boy put into avoiding him and trying to escape talking to him. This angered him and when he started to just stare at him made him even more angry and upset because it transmitted a message of “look at that wierdo” and “I’m judging everything you’re doing .” He was annoyed that he would avoid him, but at the same time staring for whole minutes at him. He loved him and he wanted to be next to him every morning and wanted to kiss him softly on his lips and on his forehead and to hold his hands in his and to hug him and hold him near. But all this wanting probably would remain only a want in his mind, and not a reality, and this, sadenned him the most, the knowledge that all this beautiful story is just in his head and it’s far from reality.
So he decided to talk to the 2 humans that knew him better and longer than he did: Cristina and Meredith. The day prior, while Alex was talking to April in the kitchen and Lexie was sneakly listening, Jackson was dragging the 2 girls on the porch to talk to them.
"Heeeey, someone’s nervous tonight." said Meredith smiling.
"Does your grandfather come to visit us?" asked Cristina happily.
"I have a question about Alex."
"Oh, then I can go. Evil spawn is not something that interests me." said Cristina with a pokerface.
"No, please stay." Jackson looked at her with big eyes and with a voice that almost broke down.
"Ok…"
"So what’s the matter?" asked Mer curious.
"I don’t know if you noticed, but he is behaving extremely wierdly around me."
"Oh yeeeees. He does that sometimes when he is having intense feelings."
"Oh yeaah. He did that with Izzie too, until he confessed to her and married her before her surgery." said Cristina.
"So you tell me he does this when he feels something intense like love?"
"Yeah, love, or a past trigger, or a bad memory, or having to come to terms with losing someone. That is how he copes."
"He avoids anything and everyone to deal with his feelings alone because he is more of an independent guy." completed Meredith.
"Thank you girls for telling me this. I really miss my friend and I don’t know what I did or what I didn’t to make him go so distant. I think it may be because he somehow found out that I love him, but that can’t be because you two are the only ones that know."
"Awww baby Avery likes small tough Karev. So sweet. You’ll make beautiful babies."
"Hey don’t be mean." Meredith looked at the girl with a deadpan face, then laughed with Cristina.
"Great, now both of you will laugh and tease the fuck out of me, right?"
"Be sure! But now seriously, how did you manage to do that?" asked Cristina.
"I don’t even know how I did it, I just know I did."
"Well that is interesting. Well then let’s hope Alex is feeling the same because I wanna see this go down." said Meredith. "Maybe you’ll adopt a kid like me and Derek."
"Or you could fuck eachother until your breathless like me and Owen." completed Cristina.
"Ok, I’m out of here or else I’m sure you will continue to joke about this too much. Wanna bring you the bottle of tequilla?"
"No, the wine one would do just fine." said Meredith
"Okay, here we go. he said as he handed them the bottle. Have fun!"
And like that, Jackson left to go to his room. Lexie and April were wondering through the house and scheming about how could they find out about Jackson and if he’s interested in Alex and the answer came right on the porch. They saw the 2 girls hanging out, with a wine bottle half empty. When they went out to talk to them about Alex and Jackson all four girls realized that they were witnesses to a love confession from both of them. And so, they decided thay it would be fun to play a little and to enter in this game because it will be interesting to see the two boys together. And like that they devised a plan over two bottles of wine to try and make the two boys a couple and to have the oportunity to tease and make sweet comments about them afterwards. They usually don’t mingle into other people businesses, but this was too tempting and they really wanted to see their friends happy. All of them saw how different the two boys were when they were close to one another and how improved their mood was. Also for the first time they saw them being themselves, relaxed and just happy to be with eachother.
As the day came to an end, Jackson was getting ready to leave. When he entered the locker room, Alex was already changing in there. He looked at him for a moment and turned his back to him to change and prepare to go home. The short boy was staring now at him, looking like he was observing every move and his heart would beat faster and his stomach would start to flutter and to rumble. Jackson noticed the fact that he was staring, so he decided to confront him.
"Ok, what is your problem? Do I bother you?"
"N-no wh-why would you-"
"Then why the fuck are you staring at me like I am some kind of monster? And why in god’s name are you avoiding me?"
"It’s, it’s-. Ok." he said as he took a deep and tried to remain calm even if his mind and heart were racing.
"I’m waiting." he said impaciently.
"So, I’ve been avoiding you because I am dealing with some rough shit right now. Really, I’m very sorry about doing this to you and hurting your feelings, but I am literarly going through a bit of a mental crisis right now and I can’t bear to be near anyone, especially you. You are my best friend and the only one that I could always count on, but this thing is something that I need to do alone because it’s something that only I can resolve. So I’m asking for some time. And I’m staring because I miss the times when we were very close, but I know that I can’t have them again. Not yet. First let me solve this thing and then we can be close again, of course if you’d want to."
"Ok, phew. And here I was thinking you were judging me."
"Why would I judge you?"
"I don’t know, you basically avoided me for like a week straight and you didn’t even said hello to me. It’s ok, I’ll be waiting here for you. I’ll give you some space, but only if you promise to not let this stay in the way of our friendship." Jackson said as he remember what Cristina and Mer said about the boy doing this when he felt something extremely intense.
"I promise!" he said and hugged him, but quickly breaking the hug because he was afraid that Jackson would sense his rapid heartbeat.
The two boys left the room and stayed silent for the rest of the night. The night passed and then day after day the two boys would be stuck between the fears of losing one another and the wants of having one another in their arms and confess their love time and time again. The 4 girls devised a plan. They arranged that on Monday they would have the same schedule and they could leave at the same hours. Just in time to go home and be forced to sit at a table where a romantic meal was set. And then the 4 girls would leave and would watch the two from afar, staring at them through the back window that was uncovered for this reason. They bent over backwards to set this plan in action and were very proud of their work and goal. Also they were always giggling and smiling when one of them would talk about the other and about how they felt about one another.
Everyone in the house was used to Jackson’s screams. They wre something that occurred nightly, but in the last period since he became close with Alex he stopped having them. He was glad that the nightmares stopped coming, but with the distancing relationship with the short, black-eyed boy he started to feel their presence again, and would sometimes wake up screaming , but not loud enough to be heard by others. But Friday night was the top of all nightmares. He dreamed something so horrific that he started to scream louder than he ever did before. All the other housemates were sleeping, only Alex was half asleep because he just got off work and didn’t had enough time to actually fall into deep sleep. He first heard a faint scream but with time it got louder and louder, and at some point it started to become unsettling. He decided to see what was happening and when he entered the hallway, he heard a monstrous scream coming from the black boy’s room. He rushed to his room, and entered, almost tripping over the door. He saw the boy sitting on his butt, without his shirt and horror carved onto his face. The short boy quickly closed the door as to not wake up the others that really needed their sleep. Jackson screamed continuously while throwing hand in all directions , and Alex tried to snap him out of the trance by talking and then shouting at him, but this didn’t stop the boy from screaming and it certainly didn’t calm him. The black eyed boy was thinking of a way to calm his friend because he clearly wasn’t in a very good place mentally, and after some seconds he did something even he was shocked he did.
Alex went and sat on his bed, then he hugged Jackson tight and shook him, telling him all kinds of reassuring words and stuff like this to bring him back to reality. The blue eyed boy was trying to fight him, but he had his arms secured around him and he was adamant to not let his friend down when he needed someone the most. After some time, he managed to calm him down, and when the black boy became aware of his surroundings, he felt the cold sweats that covered his entire body and his aching throat. He looked at Alex, with a mix of expressions on his face, from fear of him leaving again, to joy from being here with him and to embarrassemnt because he saw him in his worst state, to sadness because he witnessed again the horrors that so persistently plagued his dreams.
"Wh-what-." he tried to say, but the short one quickly shushed him and told him that they could discuss tomorrow, after he will be taking a good night sleep, and while the short one said that, he placed his hands around his torso, softly gliding his hands until they joined again on his upper back.
Jackson basically buried his head into Alex’s chest and closed his eyes, small tears forming under the closed eyelids. He took deep breaths to try and calm down, and Alex hugged him tight around his chest and waist and would softly brush his fingers along his bare skin on the back to help him relax. The pure heat of the black eyed boy made Jackson calm down, the other things being bonuses, and the fact that he finally laid in his arms made him feel safe enough to finally relax and let him mind take the time to sleep and regenerate. Alex stayed like that for a while and looked at the black boy sleeping and smiling to himself. He was happy that he managed to calm him down and to make him go to sleep relaxed and free from all the trauma that kept him up screaming and yelling in terror.
"Are you sleeping, my beautiful that stole my heart with your eyes?" he asked to make sure he was sleepind soundly, softly brushing his fingers on his back.
When he saw no reaction from the shirtless boy, just regular breathing and the hands hat squeezed his chest, he closed his eyes too, and let himself dream of a better life with Jackson by his side and with rings on their fingers.
The morning came and Jackson woke up before Alex. He looked at the boy sleeping and looked at himself in his arms. He smiled thinking of how long he awaited this moment and he sure as hell was going to take advantage of the position he was in. As he looked at the boy’s chest, he buried his head in there and squeezed him a little, smiling and moving his head up and down to make himself more comforable. As he settled his head, a hand started to caress his back with soft touches and circular moves of fingers. He felt another hand stroking his cheek and the back of his neck. As Jackson looked up, he saw a smiling Alex and felt the hand that caressed his face moving to the top of his head, slowly gliding it up and down.
"Good morning, ray of sunshine."
"Good morning?" the black boy answered looking a little puzzled at the endearing term the boy used.
"How are you?" he asked a little worried.
"Well, I’m better. Actually, I feel great because of you. Thank you for being there for me and for helping me calm down. I know you probably didn’t like this physical stuff, and I’m sor-"
"Ok, here I will stop you. I wanted to say sorry for how I behaved. Ok so… he said as he took a deep breath, having a weird feeling of deja-vu. The thing is, what I said to you about having a rough time was partially true. Yes, I had a rough time mentally, but this wasn’t because of some kind of trauma that made me an emotional mess, but because I was trying to understand my feelings. I am bisexual and I love...you. Basically I had been avoiding you because you make me go through a rollercoaster of emotions and also I was scared that you wouldn’t reciprocate my feeli-"
"I can’t believe it! Jesus! I love you, and I loved you for a long time. I can’t believe my dreams are coming true!" he said as he almost jumped on the boy and kissed him all over his neck.
"Seriously? For how long?" he managed to say through his laughter.
"Well, I don’t know if you remember that day when we came back home early and we talked and you tried to tickle me and we behaved like 2 children?"
"Hmmm, oh yes! Since then?! Oh my god! It’s been like a shit ton of time. How did you manage to survive? I barely could stay in your presence and here were you acting like anything is normal."
"Well, I always found comfort in the little things that you did, like hug me or rest on my lap or even talking to me. I always liked it and it only helped me deal with my emotions. I knew I couldn’t have you because I thought you were straight, but instead of trying to get over you, I decided that for once I can let myself feel and to take advantage of every interaction I had with you. Oh gosh you can’t even imagine how much I love you!" he said as he kissed the boy on his small lips.
"I’m so sorry I avoided you! I just didn’t know if you were interested in me or if I even liked you. With my whole historic of disastruos dating from crazy girlfirend to running wife to girlfriend that stole a pretty big opportunity from me, it was tough for me to figure out I loved you, and also the fact that I liked boys. That was a big hit to my mentality, but I soon accepted with, ironically with the help of April."
"Wait- did you say April?" he told the boy with a little giggle.
"Yes, she actually was very understanding and helpful. Ok, so getting back to the point, you were saying how much you loved me."
"Oh, get over yourself, you small baby." he said kissing him again.
"I love you so much! I’m sorry for avoiding you. I really am. I know that it must be painful to live like that, avoided by your crush that is your best friend. But to be fair, each time you were close to me, my heart will go like crazy and my mind would flood with all kinds of thoughts about you and my crush on you. I became a blabbery mess and an emotional one aswell."
"Oh yeah, I remember how you blabbered a lot when I was in your presence. You were cute. If I wasn’t so mad at you I would have probably melted at how cute you were. And now I can see and hear you more often because you, as much as you like to think of yourself as a tough guy, you’re actually a cinnamon roll." he said smirking and kissing his neck.
Alex suddenly and against his will turned red, trying to get Jackson off his neck and to cover his face. He tried but to no avail, as Jackson pinned his arms and looked smirkingly at him. The thing is, Alex kinda liked this feeling now. He didn’t try very hard to oppose his new boyfriend’s touches and kisses, and he found in this flood of emotions an opportunity to finally let himself behave naturally and not to try and cover his emotions like he usually did. He streched under his kisses, and he gently tried to move his hands. At first, the black boy didn’t budge, but when he felt the soft touches of his partner’s hands, he let them free and immediately, they slowly went up his own arms, joining on his upper back. The blue eyed boy stopped kissing him and placed his head on the boy’s chest, smiling happily and snuggling even closer to him. The short boy cuddled the tall boy and they started to talk about their future, their relationship, their boundaries and their expectations.
As they finished talking they felt a little playful, so Alex started to move his hands on Jackson’s sides and started to tickle him. He fought him off with laughter pouring from his mouth and aftr some struggling he managed to escape from his devlish fingers. The two made a bet: if one of them could pin the other down for at least 5 seconds, the loser has to fulfil one of the winner’s wishes. And so they started to wrestle. At first, Jackson had the upper hand as he was taller than him and he would easily pick him up from the knees and throw him into the matress of the bed. But Alex was swift enough and always got up, much to the black boy’s annoyance. Now the short one had enough playing and when he managed to grab him by the knees, he basicaly body slammed him into the matress, pinning him with his whole body and holding him down with his arms. The boy tried desperately to get up, but to no avail, as he lost the bet they made. As he realised the true power of his boyfriend, he blushed, his cheeks turning a deep shade of pink, as he rested under the weight of his boyfriend’s body and his strong arms. He also knew what was coming.
"Please Alex, have mercy!"
"For someone so tall , you would expect to put up a better fight but it seems like my ray of sunshine is very easily beaten by my baby body.
"
"I got to admit, you are very strong, and right now, very hot." he said as the shade of pink transformed into a deep shade of red.
"Oh, so you find me hot? Bad idea to tell me this, right now, my sunshine." he said as he placed his lips on Jackson’s upper chest and going up to his chin, leaving a trail of kisses behind him.
"Please, have mercy!" he pleaded, turning redder and redder with each kiss.
The short boy continued his “torture” with kisses, making the tall one beg and plea for mercy and for him to stop because he felt like his face would explode and his heart would pop out of his chest, all these said between laughs and giggles. After some minutes of this Alex finished and stood up, leaving a very exhausted, red and embarrassed Jackson on the bed, covering his face and laughing softly from the ghost of the kisses that he still felt on his neck.
"Ok, I’m ready for your request."
"What are you talking about?"
"About the fact that I need to fulfill one of your wishes?"
"I already used that, I wanted to make you blush hard and I managed to do that succesfully. But if you want another one you are most welcome." he said wiggling his fingers in the air.
"No! I’m good, thanks!" he quickly said, as he smiled and placed his hands in front of him to defend himself.
After all he still opened his arms in a sign of trust and most important yearn for cuddles, and so the dark eyed boy laid on him, smiling at him and hugging him tight. The two cuddled eachother for a while, talking about anything they could imagine and also complimenting each other a lot. Lexie woke up before the boys and, out of curiosity, she wanted to take a peak at the two that were so in love, but to blind to see eachother’s feelings. When she entered Alex’s room, she found the bed empty, and as she went to the black boy’s room, she saw from the slightly opened door, how the two were sleeping, snuggled into one another and holding eachother close. She smiled happily and went down to announce to the other girls her new findings. As she updated them on the Jacklex situation, all the girls were happy for their friends to finally admit their feelings and get over this weird avoiding eachother phase. They decided that the plans they did for the boys should be moved from Monday to now, as this would be the perfect moment for them to celebrate their relationship and the perfect opportunity to tease the fuck out of them.
When the two boys finally decided to come down the girls finished all the preparations and as they held their hands and entered the kitchen, the two boys were hit with a cascade of rose petals, a fancy breakfast and a nicely decorated table with ambiental music. Alex and Jackson were taken aback by this and when they looked at the culprits, the dots immediately connected. They both turned red and Cristina of course took advantage of this and teased them a little. All four of them congratulated the boys and left them to eat in peace. Of course the spy senses in all of them activated and they spied the two boys from afar. Cristina almost puked out from the sweetness, Lexie and April were acting like teenage girls when their crush noticed them and Meredith was just glad that the two could finally start to act normally and be happy with one another.
As they finished eating, and blushing a little, they went to thank the 4 girls for their efforts and for their meal. The two boys hugged their friends and even Cristina was touched a little by their beautiful relationship. They gave eachother a quick peck on the lips and side hugged eachother, making April yelp in excitement and Cristina to let out a very mischevious tease that made the two blush hard. Meredith said that she sees a future between the two and when it comes to predictions, Meredith’s surely become a reality. And Lexie made a snarky comment, that both of her ex’s are together and that she is cursed. She hugged them both and wished them a calm voyage in the relationship boat and then giggled again at the comment she made and sighed.
"Ok, no. I will not tolerate seeing you lovesick after this man and not doing anything. Today you will get back with him." said Alex set upon his goal.
"Huh! Excu-"
"Jackson, would you call him please?
"Right now sweetheart! he said in a sweet voice smiling at the growing redness on his boyfriend’s cheeks.
And after some minutes, Mark was at the door. While all of this was unfolding the 3 girls remained speechless and Lexie was arguing with Alex about her poor management of feelings. As Jackson opened the door, he invited him inside and dragged him to a closet where Alex already placed Lexie, after he managed to convince her to give it a try. And as the black boy opened the door, he shoved Mark inside and locked the door behind him. Then the 2 left them to talk and joined the girls in talking about the Slexie situation.
After 1 hour, Meredith checked upon the two, and when she opened the door, she saw the two kissing and making her a sign to close the door. She smiled and then let the two have their dirty dancing. She joined the rest downstairs and talked some more about their job, lives and families and they would crack jokes here and there.They became like a family, a happy one. Meredith and Derek managed to get Zola’s custody, Cristina worked things up with Owen, Callie and Arizona were more happy than ever, Jackson and Alex were glad they found eachother and that they could finally act all the scenarios they imagined while hey were crushing on eachother, Mark and Lexie were finally together and this time they were for good, and April was finally making herself available to the dating pool. Since Zola’s adoption, Alex and Jackson took a particular liking to the small human and would often spend a lot of time with her, playing, sleeping, singing and just in general babysitting her. They would act like parents and made the two even more close.
One time Jackson took the little girl dancing and with a hand grabbed Alex’s one and started to slowdance with the little baby between them, that smiled at the two men that held her so close. This was the moment the two knew, they too wanted a baby in the future. This was the moment they knew their relationship would resist and they felt like anything was possible. They rest assured that their communication is strong enough, because they swore on the day that they started this relationship that they would always talk to eachother, even when they were upset with one another and would not go to bed angry with eachother anytime they would fight.