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Sora thought that the Monastery creaked far too much to belong to ninjas. Weren’t they supposed to be silent? Couldn’t a girl sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack in peace?
Apparently not.
Lloyd sat at the table with his back to her. His blond hair looked white in the moonlight slanting through the room.
“Hey Sora, you know moving slowly does not equal moving stealthily, right?”
Sora jumped so hard that the floor creaked even louder.
“Wha– Lloyd! How did you know it was me?”
Lloyd laughed. “Easy. You move differently than Arin does. And if it were Nya, Kai, or Zane, well. I wouldn’t be able to hear them quite as well.” Lloyd finally turned around. Even in the cool moonlight, Sora could tell he was smiling warmly. “Why don’t you sit down?”
Sighing, Sora walked over to the table, plopping down next to him. Her chair scraped against the floor and she winced. Lloyd pushed a cup of warm tea towards her.
“You walked slowly enough that it gave me time to heat up some more,” Lloyd explained. “I don’t, like, conjure them up out of nowhere, just to clarify. That’s Wu’s thing.”
Sora groaned. Embarrassment flushed through her cheeks. “You could really hear me the whole way here?”
Laughing, Lloyd sipped his own tea. “Well the moment I heard you go past the bathroom I had a hunch you were heading here.”
“If you actually taught us how to be stealthy–”
“Then you’d think you could get away with sneaking out more often, like we did. Master Wu heard everything. Believe me, Sora, you and Arin wouldn’t be able to sneak out either. There are a very small number of people who can sneak up on me.”
“Is the fabled Master Wu one of them?” Sora asked sarcastically.
“Nah. His bones creak almost as much as the floorboards do.”
Sora laughed. She was glad she’d braved the darkness of the Monastery to be here. It was much better than sitting in her and Arin’s room… thinking… Nope, not thinking about it!
She sipped her tea to take her mind off of… that. It was surprisingly good. “Hey, you’re getting better at making tea! You burnt it the first day of training, remember?”
Lloyd looked bashful. “Oh, uh, I didn’t make this. Now that Zane is back in the Monastery, we have his cooking skills again. He makes lots at a time so that we can just heat some up when we need it. The same goes for hot chocolate, coffee, muffins, the works.”
“Huh,” was all Sora could say. She felt weird being reminded that there was so much history between the ninja.
The student and teacher sat in silence for a few moments. Distantly, Sora could hear a clock ticking.
“So, what’s up?” Lloyd finally asked.
Focusing only on the tea, Sora avoided looking at Lloyd. “Uh, I couldn't sleep. Why are you out here?”
“I live here.”
Sora snorted at the unexpected answer. “No, I mean, why are you up right now?”
Lloyd waved his hand dismissively. “Nightmares. They’re a very normal thing for us. I’ve soundproofed the room you and Arin share because I didn’t want you guys to have to deal with the screams.”
Sometimes her teacher could say the most messed up thing like it was completely normal. Secretly, Sora and Arin referred to them as ‘trauma tallies’, and had a running list of them. Arin knew most of them, and would later explain them to her; “Oh yeah, Lloyd said he didn’t like ghosts very much because of being possessed by one!” Other times, he looked just as baffled as she did; “Evil versions of the ninja attacked his old school while the schoolmates tried to brainwash him? What?!”
“S-screams?”
Shrugging, Lloyd downed the rest of his tea. “Yeah, well. Kai has pretty bad nightmares, but that’s only when he manages to get to sleep. Nya usually has Jay to help her out with hers and vice versa, but as he’s still missing… yeah, nights are hard for her. I’m glad you guys slept through her, uh, episode last week. Zane doesn’t regularly have nightmares anymore. After the Neverrealm, he installed a firewall to keep him from dreaming at all. Sometimes it doesn’t work, though, and we wake up to find frost in the hallway. Oh yeah, and I’ve been told that I’m a screamer. Occasional sleepwalking, too. So, yeah. I soundproofed your room.”
Sora wasn’t sure which was worse: the matter-of-fact way in which Lloyd spoke, the fact that these adults had horrible nightmares regularly, or the implications of this becoming a normal thing for her and Arin one day. Now realizing that Lloyd’s joking, ‘I live here’, might not have been much of a joke at all, Sora just felt uncomfortable. Lloyd practically lived in the dark because he couldn’t sleep?
Lloyd seemed to notice her go pale, and he patted her shoulder. “It’s not as bad as it sounds.”
Silence fell again, less comfortable than last time. Well, Lloyd seemed comfortable. He seemed to be waiting for something. Maybe he was waiting for Sora to be truthful.
“I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking.”
That got Lloyd’s attention. He shifted in his chair to face her more fully. Distantly, Sora registered how it hadn’t made a single sound, despite hers screeching against the floor.
“I was thinking… about my parents. I…” Her throat closed up. “Lloyd, they’re so disappointed in me. I was just trying to make them proud but I kept messing everything up. And I just kept thinking about when I left. Do they miss me? Do they even care? Are they glad I’m gone? Or did I really hurt them when I left?” Sora’s voice broke into a sob.
Pulling her knees up to her chest, she made herself as small as possible. Lloyd didn’t need to be worrying about her. He shouldn’t have to deal with her stupid family stuff.
A hand gently rested on her shoulder. Sora just cried harder. Why had she even opened up? Voicing her thoughts just made her cry! She’d been fine in her room. Mostly fine.
“Sora… I’m sure your parents love you. How could they not? You’re incredible!”
“But that’s just the thing!” Sora wailed. “They never liked it when I did creative things. All they ever wanted me to do was serve the– the Empress and I didn’t. They wouldn’t listen to me! And I just… they were never proud of me and I-I– Lloyd what if they’re something wrong with me?”
“Slow down Sora, there’s nothing–”
“My own parents didn’t think I was enough!” It was hard to speak through her tears but Sora needed to say this. She needed someone to hear her. “Even after everything I did, if they weren’t proud then, then was I even ever that good to begin with? Like, like I’m supposed to be this elemental master of technology, but how can I even be that good when my parents don’t think so? Parents are supposed to be proud of you no matter what and if mine aren’t proud of me, then– then I’ve gotta be the most terrible screw up ever–”
“Sora!”
“And then how can I even be a ninja? How can I ever be sure that I’m good at anything when that’s basically proof–”
Lloyd’s arms were suddenly around her, squeezing Sora in the tightest hug she’d ever gotten from anyone except Arin.
Sora buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I shouldn’t’ve– you’ve got enough to worry about– I’m sorry I–”
Lloyd squeezed tighter. “No. No I’m sorry, Sora. I’m so sorry you feel like this, and have been having these thoughts. It’s so hard to have confidence in yourself when it feels like no one else believes in you. And I’m really really sorry you’ve been going through that.”
He loosened his hug, but scooted his chair (still soundlessly) closer to her so that their shoulders were touching. Sora leaned into him, shaking with sobs.
“Do you know my father, Sora?”
She shook her head.
“My father is Lord Garmadon, King of Shadows, Ruler of Darkness, and was basically a very bad guy.”
Sora raised her head, gawking up at him. Lloyd? The son of some sort of villain? But that didn’t make any sense at all. Arin may have mentioned it but… woah.
“Yeah, when I was a kid, he was off doing shady stuff. He did get better later, though. And then he died and came back evil again but kind of had a redemption arc– whatever, the point is–”
Dang, Sora was going to have so many trauma tallies to tell Arin about.
“The point is, when I was a kid, we all found out that I was destined to be the Green Ninja. The legendary Green Ninja, born to fight in a huge final battle against the Lord of Darkness. Against my father. And you want to know something absolutely crazy? He was there. He was there, in the room when we learned that it was me. He was there, but he was proud. My dad had just been told that we were going to have to fight, but he was so proud that his little boy was going to be a hero.”
Lloyd had a far away look in his eyes. Bittersweet nostalgia, maybe.
Sora didn’t quite see how this related to her yet. She kept quiet, wiping away the flow of tears that was slowly tapering off.
“Look, Sora. The point is, if the literal Lord of Darkness, bad guy extraordinaire, can be proud of his son for being the complete opposite of him, then I think that something is wrong with your parents. Not you.”
“But–”
“No, Sora, listen to me. You are such an awesome kid. You can do all this great tech stuff, and that was even before you got your elemental powers. Arin adores you so much because you’re a fantastic friend and, you know, a great person to be around. And what about Riyu? You’re going to doubt that that little dragon doesn’t know a great person when he meets one? Yeah right. I can say with full confidence that you and Arin are the best students I’ve ever had.”
Sora sniffed, letting out a half laugh. “We’re your only students.”
“Still the best! Seriously, Sora. Your parents are the terrible ones. Not you. You are more than enough and always have been. I’m so sorry that they made you feel like that. Family isn’t supposed to be like that. Ever. You matter to us, Sora.”
“I know that you think that, but what if–”
“Nuh uh, none of that! Look, a lifetime of feelings coming from such awful treatment isn’t going to be fixed in one conversation. I wish it could be. I wish one conversation could fix everything all the time and, you know, sometimes it can, but most of the time there needs to be more conversations. In my experience, the middle of the night is not the absolute best time to have these important conversations. We’re both tired. We’re both not thinking quite so well. But, the conversation happened and that’s what’s important.”
Sora pushed herself off of Lloyd’s shoulder, fully sitting up. “Are you trying to tell me to go to bed?”
“Not at all. I’m just saying that I’m probably not going to change your mind tonight. In fact, I might never change your mind. At the end of the day, it’s got to be up to you to see how amazing you are. Sora, I know you may not believe me, but you should never have to prove yourself to your own parents.”
You should never have to prove yourself to your own parents.
Sora… had never thought of it like that. “Oh.”
“Think on that. Who knows, maybe once you believe me you might be one step closer to unlocking your true potential.”
Wiping the last of the tears away, Sora finally looked up at her teacher. “And you say you’re not wise enough to be a master.” She offered a watery grin. “You seem pretty wise to me. Maybe you need to believe more in your self too.”
Lloyd chuckled. “I may be ‘wise’, but you’re far too witty for me to process at this time of night. Like I said, I’m not telling you to go to bed, but we do have early training tomorrow.”
“Aw, come on, can’t you let us sleep in even a little bit? You’re up late too, you need the rest too, don’t you?”
Lloyd shrugged. “Yeah, but schedules.”
“Wow, such a well thought out argument.”
“Like I said, Kiddo: I’m tired.” Lloyd stood up, stretching his arms above his head. He grabbed the empty teacups and put them in the sink, still moving silently across the floor.
Sora stood up too. “I should probably try to sleep, then. If you’re going to wake me up at the crack of dawn, then I need all the rest I can get.”
“Before dawn, Sora. We don’t want to waste the day!”
She sighed, but still smiled.
“Come on, I’ll walk you back to your room.”
Sora followed Lloyd back through the creaky hallway. He might as well have been a shadow for all the noise he made. Sora felt like a tap dancing ox next to him.
“Try stepping like this,” Lloyd whispered, demonstrating the way he stepped with the outside of his foot, slowly putting the rest of his foot down and shifting his weight onto it. Sora mimicked him as best she could, and was shocked how much it reduced the noise.
“Woah,” she breathed. “I’m like a real ninja.”
When they got to Sora’s door, she could hear Arin inside, muttering in his sleep.
“Can you soundproof him?” she teased.
“Duct tape exists,” Lloyd offered. “Though I don’t think he’d like that very much. And I don’t think a responsible teacher would allow that… or even suggest it, actually. So, uh, forget I said that.”
Sora laughed again. Then she threw her arms around Lloyd’s chest, hugging him tightly. “Thanks,” she mumbled. “Thanks for… everything.”
He ruffled her pink hair. “Anytime, Sora. Goodnight.”
And suddenly Sora was hugging nothing at all. Lloyd had simply gone, sightlessly and silently merging with the shadows. He really was an epic ninja.
Sora fell asleep easily, warmed by the tea in her stomach, and her new family in her heart.