Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kili’d had a habit of it since you'd met him, really. Impatience. You'd noticed it right away, in the way he'd only partially lace his boots in the morning, in his rush to go join the others, or the takedowns and scoldings he'd receive when he dashed in unthinkingly during sparring sessions. 

You should have anticipated it would bleed into… other areas of life. And once you were thoroughly struck in the face with it, you should have known better than to encourage it. 

Unfortunately, you seemed to have a soft spot, mind and body. It ran through your veins, not unlike a hunger or a need. You were weak for him; you always said yes, even when you knew you'd likely be caught, and it landed you in some rather embarrassing situations. 

The first time was in Rivendell. 

Kili was something, that was for certain. Loud , as evidenced by the song that he'd just joined, hands pounding on the table and voice more shouting than singing among the rest. Though, that did seem to be all dwarves. Mischievous . Since the journey had commenced from the Shire, he and Fili had played joke after joke on everyone, including you and Bilbo. At least it hadn't been your underthings hanging from a tree above camp. You'd likely have done worse than Bilbo’s reprimanding. 

‘And unbelievably attractive,’ your mind helpfully supplied. 

And well, there was that. He was definitely a good-looking dwarf. Tussled wavy hair to his shoulders and a strong, broad chest. 

“See something you like?” he grinned at you, and you realized you'd been staring. 

You turned back to your food, picking apart the last of your bread. “You would like that, wouldn't you.” 

The brunette leaned closer, arms on the table. "Oh, I definitely would. I rather think I could show you some better fun than looking, though.” 

You met his gaze again, and it was alight with play. He’d been flirting with you intermittently since you sat down beside him. Before that, as well, since the troll horde. Curiosity and heat bloomed within you. What kind of ‘fun’ was he thinking of? Was he any good, or just young and cocksure? 

You scoffed lightly, “I might be interested. If that prowess had any merit to speak of.” Fili cackled beside his brother. 

Kili wasn't put off. He lowered his voice further, told you, “Let me give you a demonstration then. If I'm no good, you could always tell everyone what an arse I am.” 

Your curiosity would be satisfied, you supposed. And you'd have fun either way. 

You would be telling no one anything. Especially not about how quickly Kili had gotten you gasping, on your back upon someone’s bedroll. 

He mouthed at your neck like he was hungry, hard lips and grazing teeth. You buried one hand in his hair and wrapped the other around his back, keeping him firmly between your legs and above you. He found a sensitive spot behind your ear and bit, not too hard but enough to make you whimper, fingers digging into his tunic. The area throbbed as he laid his tongue over it, almost in time with the pulse in your core. 

Kili skimmed back up to your lips, connecting them once more. He kissed heavy , head tilted to make everything deep and long. The presses of tongue made your mouths slick with it, lips sliding messily. 

He made a soft, happy noise, and the resulting wave of heat that washed through you made you wrap your legs around his hips and tug him down, needing something more. 

Kili breathed a curse in his dwarven tongue and shifted his stance, knees farther apart to drop the weight of his lower half onto yours. Demanding pressure, hot and glorious and not enough at the same time bloomed at your center. You panted, feeling needy and entirely too clothed. 

The first circle of your hips set off his own. You rutted against each other, sloppy and uncoordinated, too flush together to get any good friction. You could feel him through his layers, solid and intense, just above where you wanted him to be, squished against your mound. 

Want built in the air between you the longer you tried, grinding eager and brainless, until you finally released his torso and planted your feet on the floor. 

He jumped on the idea as soon as you'd done it, a hand hooking under your knee to lift it higher, the other spreading you further. That time when he tilted his hips downward and pressed , the length of him dragged beautifully against you, and your eyes fluttered with it, a relieved moan escaping you. 

You realized a little too late, opening your eyes to the open sky through the columns, that you were quite loud for still being outside. 

Kili ground another deep path, almost perfectly across your slit, bumping your clit on the upstroke. Your mouth opened on another moan, and when you bit your lip partway through to quiet yourself, it turned into a soft whine. 

He repeated the motion, and again, and again , pace picking up as excitement took over. You tried to stifle your sounds, but they slipped from you anyway, muffled and pitched. He answered with rough grunts, driving you higher. 

Gods, anyone could hear you if they only walked close enough. The thought simultaneously had you on edge, but made you all-the-more slick. 

“ Hah- You- Can-” he rambled, dipping to press more kisses to your neck and jaw. You rolled your hips against his on impulse, a heavy circle that had him gasping and pushing upright. 

He licked his lips looking down at you, making you flush all over again. “ Fuck ,” he squeezed your waist, “ please tell me you want more.” Traveling lower still, he gripped the inside of one of your thighs, the other not-so-subtly adjusting himself. 

Immediately, you thought that you should probably wait. A more opportune moment would come along, with more privacy. Dinner was certain to be over soon, and as the tingle under your skin was glad to remind you, you were practically in the open. 

Then your gaze found those molten, pleading eyes, and dragged down to the stiff bulge clearly visible through his hose, and you all but melted underneath him, nodding your assent enthusiastically. You didn’t think you’d be able to go the rest of the day knowing what that felt like pressed up against you, so close, yet not inside, woefully empty. Kili broke into a giddy smile, kissing the back of your calf. It wavered when he jerked into you once, twice more, like he couldn’t help himself, but didn’t drop as he sat back to begin working on his ties. “You are even more lovely pink and wanting,” he teased. 

“Stay your pride, I’m still waiting on my promised fun,” you reminded, snickering. You kept your eyes fixed on his flies, still. You wanted to see . 

“Is that right?” he asked, and though he was clearly lively and impish, he fumbled with his laces, so restless was he, “I should think you’ll be asking for more when I’m finished.” 

“It may be better to say such things after you’ve made good on your word, brother,” Fili interjected. Kili positively jolted, nearly striking himself with the motion. He fell back off of you, shoving his tunic back in place and shooting the blonde the dirtiest look he could muster. 

You, on the other hand, were left quite uncovered, and snapped your legs together. Fili spared the both of you amused looks, and you hid your face in your palms, feeling heat come off of it in waves. Fuck. You should have known this would happen. You had known it. And instead of being the more responsible individual, you let lust and interest and- and- softness get the better of you. 

“You might have said something sooner, you great ass,” Kili grumbled, glaring as though he was waiting for Fili to take his laughter and go. 

“That’s no way to thank the kind dwarf who came to warn you that the others are nearly here,” Fili answered, and you both sat up straighter, eyes wide. 

“ What? ” you demanded, climbing to your feet. Just how fucking close were they? There was no way you’d be able to make yourself look normal in a matter of seconds. Your cheeks were still colored, you could still feel your wetness against yourself in your underthings. 

“I’d say you have a minute or so before they arrive,” Fili informed gleefully. 

Kili stood as well, still attempting to cover his nethers. He likely had it worse than you, as he couldn’t simply will away the more obvious evidence of your play. You had it easier, you… you glanced at him, eyes catching on the sweat beading at his hairline, the pink hue his face held, and the tent he was still pitching. 

“Right,” you stated, and turned on your heel, dragging your possessions to the farther edge of the makeshift camp and cursing your weak-willed body. 

Chapter Text

The dwarves were sparring. You and Bilbo had settled on a log nearby, and if you had only done so to watch, well, then it was nobody’s business but your own. 

There was something mesmerizing about it, watching Kili go up against Dwalin. They'd lost their tunics long ago in the heat, and Kili’s tanned skin gleamed under the sun. Every time you caught a glimpse of dark pink nipples and powerful, tensed muscle it made butterflies erupt in your stomach. And the sheer strength in how he took Dwalin out at the ankles-

Brown eyes caught you looking, and Kili wiped the sweat off his brow, smiled and winked. You could feel Bilbo’s knowing look, and you nudged him, nodding towards Thorin, who was exasperatedly joining the fun. Bilbo’s sputtering embarrassment was a satisfying balm to your own.

If you had thought Kili had been friendly before incident number one, you had been in for a surprise. Following that, he seemed to spend as much time with you as he did with his brother. You might have thought it was all for show, to continue your little tryst, but it wasn't only flirting. There was some , of course, it was Kili, but there was more. Trading family stories, hunting game together, talking about dreams. 

It was making you… feel things. 

You didn't stay too long, heading into the woods nearby to gather things for supper. You hadn't even known they'd finished until your hip was abruptly pinched, Kili’s voice behind you. “You ran off in a hurry. Did something get you all bothered?” 

You’d jolted at the touch, whipping around, ready to slay the orc who dared test you, and once you realized it was him, you glared daggers at him. “Yavanna’s sake , Kili. I thought you were an orc. I could have killed you.” You set your collection down before you could do the herbs any harm. 

“I’m not so sure I believe you,” he chuckled, "you left before you could take me on.” 

Take him on? Looking like he did? You wouldn't last two seconds. Not that you were planning on telling him that. “I don't need to flaunt myself in the middle of camp to know I can put your arse on the forest floor,” you said instead. 

He leaned against a tree, and you couldn't help noticing that he'd only slung his tunic about himself, leaving the entire front open. He had a thick smattering of dark brown hair upon his chest, leading down into his trousers. He'd taken on a hint of something new- competitiveness, a fire to win. 

“Why, is that fear I’m hearing?” he exclaimed dramatically, “And I’d thought not a creature could intimidate you.” 

Your eyebrows shot up, a mixture of indignation and entertainment on your face. “ Fear? ” 

“Don’t worry,” he assauged, crossing his arms, “I won’t tell anyone your little secret.” 

You knew he was baiting you, of course, but gods , he was so enticing. You wanted to encourage him, you knew it would be fun, no matter where it went. And you wanted to wipe that look off his face, if only for a moment. 

You reached out, grabbed his calf, and yanked. Kili immediately stumbled, sliding and falling flat on his back with a breathless shout. After some wheezing and scrambling, he turned over and pounced on you. 

To your defense, you did last longer than a few seconds. You’d scrambled back in an instant, and though he still snared you, you gave him a struggle worth his coin, dealing him quite a few knees to the sides and shoves to his chest. Unfortunately, hand to hand, Kili had the physical advantage. He was stronger than you, all that muscle you'd been gawking at earlier and then some, and he put it to use by flipping you onto your stomach entirely and pinning you there. 

He dipped further down in order to murmur in your ear, resting his weight on you, and you nearly missed what he said due to the wave of heat that came over you. “What was that about besting me?” 

You shuddered at the feeling of his breath against your ear. Then promptly squirmed underneath him, refusing to give that easily. 

The motions had you pressing and rubbing against him. Kili hummed, deep in his chest, one hand sliding up a thigh to grip your hip. The mirthful, lighthearted air was rapidly dissolving, like sugar in hot tea. 

“I’ll take it I’ve won, then,” he joked, the sentence half a laugh. 

You rolled your eyes, groaning. “Kili,” you breathed, first with irritation . He would seek out that last victory. He drew your ass up and back, pulling you flush to the cradle of his hips. “ Kili ,” came second, gasped and drawn out. The mood shifted fully, into something feverish and tense. 

“You make me ravenous ,” he spoke aimlessly, testing out friction, rolling his hips slow and unsteady, “I can hardly think .” You moaned in answer, lust heavy in your voice, grinding back desperately, trying to create a better rhythm. The fact that you'd been interrupted last time and had had no personal time of your own made a sharp reappearance, arousal blazing white and unsated in your stomach. 

That rhythm came blissfully swift, and you loved it, you did–finally having that growing hardness pressed against you again, circling evenly–but there was something you wanted more . 

“ Inside ,” you demanded, "I want you inside.” 

There was a split second’s pause, and then he bent over you fully to latch onto your neck. He sucked and lapped at the skin, heaving breaths in between, washing cool air over the sensitive area. You mewled happily, turning your head to give him more room. 

“You’re so -” he breathed heavily into your throat, and you could feel his hands working at his laces, knuckles bumping your clothed sex and making you burn , “-so beautiful, so tempting-” 

You shifted farther forward, shoulders on the ground, so you could reach down to desperately loose your hose as well. By the time you'd undone them, Kili must have been finished, because he yanked them down for you, and- 

Twin sounds of pleasure escaped the both of you when Kili pressed his cock against your folds. He was so hot . His length was a searing line, carving through your slit. As he picked up your previous movements, each slide had the rounded head of him rubbing firmly against your entrance and your clit. 

“Oh- Oh -” Kili’s motions were almost stuttery, like the feeling was too much to handle. 

Your mouth fell open, eyelashes fluttering for a long moment. A small voice in the back of your head demanded more, but you couldn't get your lips to speak, each time you tried resulting in pitiful noises. It was only when he forced himself to pause, cock twitching with sensitivity, that you were able to get a hold of yourself. You whined his name, petulant and weak. “That isn't inside ,” you told him. He squeezed your cheeks, breathing raggedly, and slid back, the tip nudging your hole. 

Still, he didn't press in. “Y-You know,” he mentioned, “you never admitted… admitted that I won.” He dipped just barely in, then back again. 

“If you don't put your cock in me right now-” you warned dangerously, your need spilling over. 

“Alright, alright,” he laughed, nudging forward. 

Bofur and Nori positively burst through the trees beside you in a great commotion, branches snapping and leaves falling. “Durin’s teeth ,” Bofur cried, absolutely delighted by his embarrassing find, “well aren't you two a naughty pair?” 

You dropped the moment you heard voices, hips to the dirt, as though you could hide in it. You could feel Kili cover himself with a hand, rustling and trying to right his trousers. You did the same, shuffling your leggings into place as best you could without raising your face from where it was buried in the grass. 

“Should’ve known you’d sneak off for a romp after all your preening and gawking,” Nori added, and you interrupted Kili’s affronted sounds with little thought. 

“Must you two linger?” you demanded, and after a few more snickers they started away from you, having to round you to get to the other side. You were tempted to question it, but they answered that challenge before you could. 

“I'd straighten up quickly, if I were you. This is smack on the way to the creek. Others of all sorts’ll be comin’ through here soon enough,” Bofur warned, and then they were gone, tramping through the wood. 

Even once they’d left, you stayed put, staring at the edges of the blades of grass. You didn't know why you'd thought you'd be any safer a bit away from camp. Curse your fondness for this man. 

“Come now, it wasn't that bad,” Kili consoled, though you could hear the smile in his voice. 

“Bofur and Nori just saw my entire arse, Kili,” you deadpanned, humiliation and remaining arousal mixing strangely in your tummy. 

“It's a nice arse,” he murmured, giving it another squeeze. You huffed, turning over. “Besides, Bofur wasn't even looking. Nori… well, it is Nori.” 

That arousal was starting to drift into something else, you realized while looking up at him. Less searing and more warm, something floaty and soft. It was a little alarming, that recognition. He gave you a few kisses, on your collar, neck and up to your lips. There, he gave you a few more after the first. Pulling back and dipping again, as though he couldn't get enough. 

“We'll find time,” he told you, “ and privacy,” he added at your raised eyebrow. He gave you a final peck before standing up. He didn't fix himself too much, likely planning on heading to the creek himself. You stood as well, rearranging a few things before grabbing the herbs you'd collected. 

“You should put your bedroll next to mine tonight,” he said casually , without thinking. A few seconds passed, and both of you paused, the sentence registering. “Maybe we can, uh ,” he continued, quietly at first, then putting on a smirk, "find some time then.” 

You rolled your eyes, trying to fight your smile as you finished gathering your things. “Come on , everyone’ll be asleep , it'll be dark ,” he practically beamed as you began walking off in the direction of camp. You intended on leaving your bedroll where it was, but a part of you knew you'd likely end up caving to him anyway. 

Chapter Text

It was the suddenly real danger that caused incident three and its shift in tone. 

Beorn’s home was definitely a reprieve from the horrid places you'd been subject to, such as goblin cities and stone giant inhabited mountain sides, but it didn't erase what everyone had seen. Everyone carried injuries of their own, from Thorin’s frankly terrifying accumulation to the way Ori never seemed to just relax and scrawl in his book anymore. 

All of the things you could be doing, caring for yourself being one of them, and you found yourself searching for Kili. 

You found him alone, hidden behind some bales of hay, leaning against a wooden post. 

Each member of the Company had their own methods of coping, sure, but you knew too well this wasn't that. This was stubbornness, Kili’s craving to be independent and need the help of no one. 

You lowered yourself beside him, slowly, wincing at the ache in your legs. You felt his gaze on you as soon as you sat down, immediately at attention, but you only had eyes for his bruises . Seeing his chest on display felt much less fun when it was littered by purple splotches and open cuts. 

You took the bandages and the container of ointment from him, hands gentle. “I’m fine," he told you, voice hard edged, defensiveness at the ready, “it's nothing. I can handle it.” 

“I want to,” you insisted, soothing but firm. His face softened near instantly, and his hands dropped to his lap. 

You spread the salve over his slashes first, as carefully as you could, then bandaged them with the clean cloth Beorn thankfully had and distributed. Those were easier, swift and fewer in number. The bruises were much darker, and larger . You had to work the salve into them to have any real effect. He held on to your forearm during, hissing pained breaths. On the last one, a not-too-big splotch nearly black, he grimaced, stifling a yell. His hand skipped up to grip your shoulder hard, and you must have had a wound of your own there, because pain pulsed down your arm, and you jerked, letting out a yelp. 

Kili let go faster than you could blink and pulled away from your hands. He tugged the collar of your shirt to the side, sitting up straighter at what he discovered- a long purple stain of your own. “You're hurt . At least let me dress yours as well.” 

You put a hand over his, nodding and mumbling placating ‘alright’ s. You undid the top ties of your blouse and let it slide down your shoulders, the fabric pooling around your waist cincture, under your bindings. 

He trailed his fingers across the bruise that colored your shoulder, almost ticklish in its lightness. “Are there more?” Kili asked, practically scanning you for other injuries as he applied the ointment and began rubbing it into your skin. 

Your face pinched at the sudden shock of pain. You sucked in a hard breath, trying to focus on words instead. “No, that's the worst of it. I'm sore, but I think we all are.” 

For another long moment it stung, and then the feeling slowly bled into something fuzzier, glowing, the discomfort dissipating and leaving you feeling a little dizzy. Oin was a talented healer, of that you were certain. 

Kili laid a tender kiss on the top of your shoulder first, above the bruise, then a few more, up to the crook of your neck. You stroked his cheek, the rasp of his beard under your fingers, and tipped his jaw up to connect your lips. 

It started slow and sweet. There was something so grounding about feeling him so near you, knee pressed up against yours, the warmth of him radiating at your side. 

You licked the dryness from his lower lip, hand landing on his thigh as you leaned in closer. He exhaled shakily into the kiss, hips twitching unconsciously. He tangled fingers in your hair, and at your pleased moan, that hand tightened, another hard breath escaping his nose. 

Everything flipped so swiftly, winding into something closely strained . You pulled back, squeezing his leg. “You’re a bit restless, hm?” you whispered. And though he gave you a frisky smile, understanding the double meaning, it was true. He was antsy, fidgeting more than usual. 

You wanted more. More to cling to, more to remind yourself he was here , and not underneath an orc’s axe. You wanted to make him feel good, if only for a short moment. 

“I can help you relax,” you offered, hand inching higher, dipping inward. 

“ Oh ,” he let out. He nodded eagerly, legs parting to make more room.

Steadfastly ignoring the thought that his impatience was rubbing off on you, you snuggled close into his side, leaning your head on his shoulder, and made quick work of his trousers. This would have to be quick; you were still in Beorn’s home surrounded by dwarves. 

He felt thicker in your hand than he did rubbing against your cunt. Though maybe that was because you could see . At half hard he was an enjoyable length and already so broad, heavy in your palm. You licked your palm once and wrapped it around him, giving him a few testing strokes. Slow, thorough, from base to tip, and gods , he was already so pretty. 

His head fell back against the post, hips pushing up into your touch. With that affirmation, you sped up your motions, a steady and even pace. You worried, watching your fingers slide over flesh that was becoming fuller and darker by the second, that you'd have to find something to wet everything. 

Instead, you discovered that Kili leaked . Pearly fluid oozed from his slit copiously, spread onto the rest of his length by your hand. The persistent schlick schlick sounds felt so loud, and yet you watched with rapt attention. Something like a warning call echoed in your head, and you shoved it away, not daring to slow down. 

The friction had turned his cock a ruddy pink, and fully hard, he was rock solid in your grasp, your fingertips just barely touching around. You almost salivated at the way he glistened, head still weeping. 

And the brunette was a crumbling mess. Delicious, deep sounds spilled from his tongue, half-muffled as he attempted to bite his lips against them. His hand flitted from your hair to the back of your neck to your shoulder and returned again, incapable of staying one place. 

You turned your face into his throat and dragged a wet line up the breadth of it. His answering groan made you press your thighs together, your own wetness making a soaked patch in your underthings. 

“Let me-” he mumbled, lips against your temple, and that wandering hand finally fell to your groin, cupping your sex. You squeezed your legs together again just from the proximity, whining at the pressure. You nodded against his skin, sadly relinquishing your hold for just long enough to help undo your leggings and then encircling him once more. 

He slipped digits down while you were mid-suck, and your teeth scraped the mark you'd left at the feeling. His fingers were just as thick as his cock, immediately wet from your arousal. He smoothed between your folds first, gathering more juices, then pulling it back up over your clit, rubbing firm, if erratic circles. 

It was so much harder to focus with him touching you. You tried to keep your pace, but each swipe of his fingers was making your head foggy. 

Thankfully you could tell he was getting close, sensitive from previous delays and adrenaline crawling under his skin from close calls. “ Mmm - Mahal,” he gulped, beginning to meet your caresses with small, uncontrolled jerks. His voice pitched higher, “ Mahal, I’m-” 

You peered up, unwilling to miss a second of brows pulled together and lips falling open. 

You almost didn’t notice Thorin coming around the corner, if it weren’t for his half-stunned half-furious scoff. You dropped Kili, and knowing how out of it he’d been, you went to cover him yourself. He beat you to it, not only much faster than you’d expected, but shuffling forward and putting an arm across you, positioning himself in front of you instead. You remembered, suddenly, that your entire top half was exposed and your trousers were wide open. He shifted further, when Thorin didn’t move, trying to keep you as shielded as possible. ‘For his eyes only,’ you couldn’t help thinking. 

“Have you not been raised to chose better places and times for trysts than while on the run from orcs and in the home of another?” the other finally spat, though truthfully, he appeared more annoyed than angry. He was still limping, jaw clenched against what you knew were his many wounds. You wondered if he was avoiding Bilbo, to spare him the worry, or seeking him out. That would explain stumbling into your semi-private nook. 

“Yes, alright, you’ve made your point,” Kili stated, quiet but unmoving. Thorin heaved a very long sigh before storming off, hobble still ever present. You hoped Bilbo found him soon. 

Once he was gone, you and Kili met each others’ gaze, eyes wide… and promptly burst into giggles. You buried your face in his shoulder with how they racked your body, exhausted and astonished and a little delirious. He nosed at your temple, pressing a few kisses there once you’d settled. 

While fixing your clothes, there was a fondness, deep in your chest and ever growing, one you couldn’t deny. Not now. The thought of losing this, him , felt a worse death sentence than the goblins or the orcs. 

He drew you closer, right up against his side, and you curled up there happily, basking in his heat. He kept an arm wrapped around you, taking the spot between you and those gargantuan front doors, and despite the conditions, you felt strangely safe. 

Chapter Text

You almost lost him. Again . You almost lost him, and you were wasting time completely on the other side of the treasure room from him, searching for a stupid jewel. 

That poisoned arrow, watching Kili slowly deteriorate until he could barely move without pain- it still made your stomach turn. If not for Oin’s abilities and the only kind elf of Mirkwood’s care, he would be gone. And luck, as well. That she'd been convincing enough that you didn't attack her on the spot, for coming near him. That you'd made it out of a flaming city alive. 

Your heart positively ached at the thought of never being able to speak to him again. Your teasing and taunting, your soft words at late night, blown away in the wind. At the thought of never seeing his gorgeous face, his eyes lit up with mischief. At never touching those large, warm hands, feeling them squeezing yours. 

You'd die to keep him safe. You'd… die for him. 

It came to you so suddenly, it took your breath away. You dropped the gold you'd been moving, clinking as it fell. You loved him. You did, you loved him. It all felt so certain now. 

It was frightening, but unfailingly true, like a piece of you had been carved out for him. Maybe there always had been. 

You looked up, found him across the hall, and didn't think before storming across. You were done waiting, done putting off your wants and emotions. 

“Kili,” you demanded when you reached him. He glanced up, caught the look on your face, and appeared a bit anxious. 

“Is… everything alright?” he asked, and you waved for him to follow. 

“Come with me.” 

He left his things without hesitation, trailing behind you as you found the nearest corridor, traveled down it until you rounded a turn and stopped. 

“Did something happen?” he started, and you almost felt bad for having worried him, but you wanted privacy, for once . “Are you-” 

“I love you,” you blurted out, words spilling from you like a cup overflown. 

Kili’s mouth dropped slightly open, and for what felt like the first time since you'd met him, he was silent. Terrifyingly silent. 

“I-” you stammered. You likely should have explained it better than that. Still, you wouldn't take it back. You meant it. “I had to tell you. You nearly died , and the thought of you not knowing-” you were getting shaky near the end, just thinking about it, but you weren't allowed to finish anyway, because Kili was surging forward, pinning you against the wall–

He kissed you desperately. Like he was dying of thirst and you were the freshest stream. Like he’d been sealed underground and you were a breath of fresh air. You felt entirely consumed, squashed between cool stone and Kili’s warmth, making tiny sounds into his mouth as he pushed in, again and again. 

Once he gave you a break you positively gasped for air, dazedly meeting his gaze as he laid his forehead against yours. “I feel the same, I love you- ” That was as far as he got before it was your turn to interrupt him, taking his lips for your own. 

Press after hard press, until it had devolved into practically crushing your mouths together, the back of your head against the wall behind you. He nipped at your lower lip, half on accident, and you hummed greedily, shoving hands under his oversized shirt to feel the skin of his back. He breathed out harshly through his nose and gripped your hips, kneading them under his fingertips. 

Kili dipped to the side, dragged lips across your cheek to your throat, where he began to suck and kiss ferociously, intent on leaving marks wherever he could. “ Gods ,” you moaned prettily, likely echoing off those rock walls. 

He panted against your skin in between motions, pulling you as close to him as he could possibly manage. “You’re so beautiful ,” he murmured, returning to a spot that made your toes curl in your boots. You ran your nails down his back and felt him bodily tremble. You felt ignited with pure longing. 

He nestled closer, palms dropping to fondle your arse, and you brought your hands down, trailing through the hair and muscle on his torso. “I want…” you murmured, tugging at the hem of his trousers. 

The dwarf groaned, letting your backside go to yank at his ties with an eager, “ Yes .” 

You went to work on your own, the damned things so ill-fitting, it only took a slight loosening and they slouched instantly. “I want you,” he mumbled into your neck, keeping his face buried there even as you shuffled your pants off of one leg. “So deeply, I can hardly stand it. I- I-” 

His clothes fell to his knees, once they’d been undone, and you hooked a leg around his hips, drawing him closer. “ Please ,” you whimpered. For another time you found his cock digging into you, so close, leaking against your sex, and you thought you might actually die if you didn’t have him inside of you. “Inside me, please -” 

He cursed loudly, followed up with your name on a breath, and angled himself to push up and in, finally in. It was too quick at first, broad tip spearing you open much too fast, and you yelped at the sudden sting. 

“Sorry, I'm sorry,” he soothed, pecking at your cheek several times before settling, nuzzling your temples together and gingerly sliding the rest of the way in. 

With strong hips held to yours, you felt so unbelievably full. Low, burning pleasure pooling in your stomach, clinching uncontrollably around him. “ Kili ,” you gasped, “ fuck , you can-” 

“ Amralime , the way you feel -” he drew out to the head and eased back in just as slowly. You moaned heavily, tightening up all over again at the sparks of lightning dancing through you. 

You wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, hauled him impossibly closer, his beard scratching over your skin. You hoped it left you red, wanted the reminder.

You drove down at the same time that he thrust again, and something tight and overwhelmingly wonderful bloomed at your center. You dug your nails into his neck, mindless as you whined, “ Ohhh Kili -” 

“Is it-” he began picking up speed, short and shallow nudges, “-is it good?” You shifted, your foreheads together instead of your cheeks. His brows were pulled tight together, the tops of his cheeks bright. 

“‘Feels so good. Gods , you're so good.” 

Kili’s eyes fell shut, a low moan pulled from him, thrusts stuttering. 

A loud shout came from your side. The speed at which Kili slipped out made you wince. 

You couldn't even find it in yourself to be upset. Truthfully, you should have expected it at this point. 

Kili held fast to you, only gently lowering your leg when he was sure Dwalin had turned steadfastly away. The elder didn’t leave, still, staring at the stone with an excessive amount of emotions crossing his face. 

After you'd both brought up and relaced your pants, Dwalin turned to give you both a glare you couldn't really define. Mildly disgusted? A touch amused? Another long moment passed and he at last spoke. 

“I'll say this only once, and then we're gonna pretend this ne’er happened, ye hear?” 

Kili had positioned himself in front of you, despite being covered, only turning his shoulders to look at Dwalin. You both nodded at him. 

“Ye need to be careful where ye have yer… romps . Even here, we’re not…” He paused, rethinking what he was planning to say. “Thorin’s on edge. He ain't takin’ kindly to breaks fer relaxation .” 

You knew what he was referring to. Thorin hadn't been normal , recently. There'd been something off about him, since he'd entered the mountain. Something you could see in Kili, every once in a while.

You looked to Kili, watching his expression. 

“Thank you Dwalin,” he answered, face distant. 

They shared a look, something meaningful, and then Dwalin sighed, turning and leaving with a grumbled ‘ youth ’. 

He still appeared closed off when he looked back at you, though he hadn’t moved, hands still at your waist. He wouldn’t want to talk about it, and you wouldn’t make him. At least, not now. That was a conversation for another time. 

For now, you placed hands on either side of his face, cradling it and touching your heads together once more. That expression softened into a smile, eyes going that warm brown you adored so much. He gave you a handful of kisses, drawn out, lingering things that only made you want more. 

“If we,” you complained, broken up by a peck, “are interrupted again,” and another, “I swear …” 

Kili snickered. “Just wait until we unearth the royal quarters.” He grasped at your waist, traced lines in the small of your back, “Once this great wreck is settled, you can rest assured I won’t be letting you leave our room for weeks .” 

Our room . You grinned giddily. “I love you,” you whispered again, into his lips. The way his breathing picked up was absolutely delightful. 

“And I you , Amralime ,” he answered, so quietly, like it a was a secret shared between just the two of you. 

Chapter Text

Erebor was progressing beautifully, and quickly , considering the immense war that felt like it had only just occurred. 

The fact that you had survived, that Kili had survived, was a miracle. One you hadn't taken lightly. Despite all of his whining and complaining, you had made damn sure he stayed in that makeshift recovery bed, and then the one salvaged from the ruins after. 

“There is plenty to rebuild,” you'd told him, “you can wait until you've healed.”  

You weren't completely unaffected either. You'd sustained your share of injuries as well. Oin had kept the both of you practically chained to your beds for a short while, before you were granted freedom. 

Kili’s wounds were much more extensive. He stayed in the medical hall for a few more months, you spending each night at his bedside, until he was finally allowed to leave, and even then, was told not to push himself for at least another full moon’s time. 

The likes of which added on to the longest standing member of your list of restrictions: sex. 

You hadn't had any time following your last time in the hallway, what with the large scale battle that taken place. Then there had been the near deaths of all the heirs of Durin– Thorin’s terrifying chest wound and blast lung, Fili’s destroyed shoulder that would now always be lame, and Kili’s slash wound the length of his whole chest. Then the healing period after, including both yours and his, when neither of you had felt well enough to even consider it anyways. 

But even once you were fully mended, and Kili’s outer wounds had closed and it was just internal repair, you still held off. Apparently the extent of your weakness for the man did have limits, and they just happened to be at life threatening injury. 

Even for that full moon’s time, you refused. You might have caved for something lighter–Kili was able to do smaller tasks amongst his kin to rebuild–but you knew fully well you wouldn't stop there. You just couldn't risk hurting him only for sex. 

By the end of that month, though, you were feeling pretty anxious for it. And if you were anxious, Kili had been wild . Long, heated looks, stolen, passionate kisses wherever he could have them, touching every inch of you he was allowed. And you just… couldn't deny that. Not when you wanted it so badly as well. 

The bath you'd taken moments ago had been just as impassioned. The royal bathing pools, which had recently been unearthed, were beyond gorgeous, almost entirely untouched by Smaug’s wrath, save for the demolished hallways leading to it. And instead of marveling at the grandiose, marble walls, or lavishing in the first hot water you'd touched in over a year, you had been staring at each other. Eyes tracking each little move, reverently helping wash each other's hair and back. 

By the time you'd reached your quarters, you'd managed to cool off at least a little bit. 

Kili fell back on the lavish bed, bouncing on layers upon layers of furs. The both of you had yet to comprehend just how awestriking everything was. Having a real bed, with genuine blankets and all the space in the world. Constant access to your own hearth to warm the room. As much as you cared for them, not having another dwarf at your side at all times. 

And the architecture . Kili’s mesmerization for it engulfed yours altogether. Even now, he traced the carvings etched into the stone bedposts, surrounded by his lost culture. 

Gazing at him, on his back amidst rich browns and creams, completely nude but for the towel slung about his hips, you couldn't help feeling unmeasurably happy . 

Kili was alive . You'd both survived, despite the worst odds. The dwarves had survived, people you'd come to know as family of your own. And, as your mind gleefully informed you, Kili was well . Wound fully healed, as you could see, full moon passed, and able to bodily jump onto the bed without so much as a wince. 

You dropped your towel. As if summoned by the sound, Kili’s eyes snapped up. “Are you enjoying the view?" you asked, toeing off the flat shoes you'd worn to bath. 

“I can think of no better sight in all of Middle Earth,” he grinned, shedding his damp towel himself. You nearly became distracted in looking, but told yourself ‘not yet’ . You had a plan. 

You climbed atop the bed, but instead of taking the spot beside him, you straddled his hips, settling there. “Oh,” he breathed, eyes widening. 

You smoothed your hands up and down his chest, feeling the quickly drying hair curl around your fingers. “Something wrong?” you teased. 

He shook his head fervently, “ Definitely not. Please, get comfortable.” You giggled at his enthusiasm, couldn't keep the smile off your face as he relaxed into your touch. Your fingers found the top of his scar, starting at his collarbone, and followed it all the way down. It spanned across his breast, past his abdomen, and finally ended underneath his hipbone, raised and white. 

Kili shuddered under you, breathing becoming more and more labored the longer you touched him. Your palms caressed his sides, and you noted happily that he was putting on more weight. 

His hands landed on your ass, kneading the soft flesh. A wave of excitement washed over you, and you leaned up to kiss him. 

This, you were very familiar with. You drew out long, dirty presses, sucking at his bottom lip, palms flat on his chest. He pulled you tighter to him, one rough hand sliding up your back, then further to cup around your neck. Digits tangled into the hair there, toying, and you hummed against his lips, rutting down without thinking. 

Kili was hard . Fat and unyielding, digging into your slit. The past times you’d found yourself in this position, you’d forced yourself to curl up into his side, worried he’d end up straining himself too much. Now, you stayed put, mouth going a little slack as he instinctually ground his hips against yours. 

It seemed to dawn on him, suddenly, that you weren't stopping. He reluctantly pulled out of the kiss, lips sliding slowly, to ask, “Are we- Can we-” 

You’d originally planned on teasing him, making him beg for it, but the burning feeling that poured through you at the thought, ‘were finally going to do this’ , tossed that notion to the side. You nodded, licking a line up his jaw. 

A groan ripped from his throat. Kili turned to catch your lips again, hands jumping everywhere. He squeezed your hips first, dragged you rhythmically over him, then moved to caress each side of your spine. 

They glided all the way back to your thighs. “You're excited,” you grinned. 

Hands tucked down, into the soft insides, inching them even further apart. You pushed up on your knees immediately, creating space so he could slide his fingers into your folds. Your smile dropped with a whimper, and you leaned back, resting your hands on the bed next to his thighs. 

“I have never wanted anything so much in my entire life,” he told you with utmost certainty, eyes dark and fixed on your cunt. 

Digits smoothed through a few times, collecting your wetness until they were practically coated. Those two trailed up, finding that sensitive bead near the top. What started as loose, gentle circles brushed over your clit slowly grew more firm, your legs straining with the effort of pushing into his touch. That even round and round and round made your knees shake, pleasure blazing and almost too-much beneath your skin. 

He looked on like a man starved. Every time you caught a glimpse of his face, it only made that heat burn brighter. 

Kili gave your clit a break, moving down and swirling around your entrance. He spread you open with one hand, bracing the other on your opposite thigh, keeping your legs well parted. His gaze had gone hazy while staring. You couldn’t stop yourself from clenching, knowing he could see. He exhaled harshly and promptly slipped his fingers inside. 

Dear gods . Thick things they were, it wasn’t painful, but overwhelming. Your eyes slammed shut, wringing him like a damn cloth. 

You fisted soft furs. He drew the pair out and slid them back in with ease. You heaved out a trembling breath. 

“You are so wet ,” he mumbled, half to himself, skin glistening for the brief moments it left you. He sped up rather easily, finding a lovely pace to pump in and out of you at. Quick and close, slippery little ‘shk’ s between you, knuckles bumping your arse. He was right next to something, glancing it every other motion. It felt like sunlight deep inside, made you mewl each and every time.

“And you said I was excited,” he laughed breathlessly, slowing once more to rest his forearm. 

Brain no longer so close to melting, you narrowed your eyes at the taunt. You shifted your weight onto one hand and reached back, feeling for- exactly what you thought you’d find. His cock, harder than steel, sticky at the head, mess pooled in his stomach. You gave him a few strokes, memorizing the delicious way he tensed, mouth falling open. 

“You're just as wet as I am,” you whispered back, palm silky smooth. 

He snuck his thumb up to your clit, fingers still stuffed within you, and rubbed , inside and out. 

The playful air slipped from both of you like water through one's hands. 

“ Fuck , are you-” 

“ Gods, yes,” you answered before he'd finished. He pulled his fingers free, and you scooted down his body to replace them, taking his length in hand once more and positioning yourself above him. 

His hands, having dropped to the tops of your thighs, gripped hard enough to bruise when you took him, inch by inch. 

The fit was just as snug as you remembered. You moaned once he was fully inside, a mirror to Kili’s own low groan, already twitching into you. More prepared this time, it didn’t sting as much, though your hole twinged still, stretched wide to make room for him. You rolled your hips in tiny motions, unable to stay still. 

He heaved for breath beneath you, chest gone red. His first thrust was careful, almost tentative, rocking you just a bit. Just that small reminder of how he felt, of that friction and heat, made you long for more. Any control either of you had snapped. You steadied your knees and set a pace bouncing on him, skin hitting skin with resounding ‘plap’ s. 

“ Oh ,” Kili groaned from his chest, meeting your swings down with little surges of his own. Hands moved down to your waist to hold for awhile, gaining leverage to push up a little easier. It pulled you into a more steady rhythm, thick head prodding that spot, the one that made you feel like there was molten metal swirling in your gut. He cursed in Khuzdul. “How are you- ngh … you’re like a vice -” 

As much as it pained you, you had to slow. Your thighs were on fire. Your walls throbbed. Still, you could only sway forward and back in small intervals, needing some form of a break. 

Kili craned upwards, hands following. One braced the center of your back, drawing you down, and the other cupped one breast, wrapping his lips around your nipple. You inhaled sharply, continuing to rock as pleasure trickled down your body. He flicked his tongue sporadically around the peak, then sucked, blindingly tight for a few seconds. The dwarf swapped sides, eyes fluttering closed. 

He gave your other nipple attention, toying with it until it was swollen and red. As it panged in the air, he began mouthing at the skin around it, pulling marks to the surface. You whimpered, squeezing uncontrollably around him. 

Less winded, you started moving again, those swift thrusts that you craved so keenly. Your love followed suit without hesitation, still leaving smacking kisses over every inch of your chest. 

Sadly, you lasted even shorter than the first time, thighs and calves cramping after not too long. You would have thought that months of walking would have given you more strength, but it appeared the months of starvation and injury that succeeded seemed to have negated some of it. Curse your useless legs. You whined irritably, leaning back. “Kili,” you mumbled, “my legs are tired.” 

You thought he might poke fun at you, but instead, you were tipped onto your back, thumping into the blankets. Kili clambered onto his knees, wasting no time before cupping the backs of your thighs and plunging in to the base. 

You let out a loud cry. 

This position was so different than the other two you’d tried with him. He was so much deeper this way, striking fully every single time. And he had all the control, hips slapping into yours hard. 

“ Yesyesyesyes- ” you rambled, under your breath, unable to stop. He was hitting beautiful things every other thrust, your back arching with it. 

“ Oh - you’re- I won’t last,” he warned, breathless, hair hanging about his face. You knew this expression, remembered it clear as day. His dark brows pinching in the center of his face, eyes crinkling, lips going slack under the onslaught of sensation. 

You were growing close as well, but by the looks of it, you wouldn’t make it. You didn’t care. You kept your eyes open, on his face, powerless to look away. Something important only occurred to you seconds before, crossing your sex-stupid thoughts. 

“Not inside!” you gasped, laying a palm on his stomach, pushing insistently. 

He only just yanked out in time, managing two drags in the crease of your cunt before every muscle went tight and he spilled across your navel. He let out ragged groans with each spurt, holding onto your legs for dear life. You laid the flat of your hand over his cock, pressing it down into plush skin for more friction, murmuring a soft, “That’s it, that’s it,” as he shook and panted, oozing out a final string of white. 

Once he’d finished, drawing back, you were very sharply reminded of your lack of orgasm. You ached . You’d never felt quite this frantic, skin burning with it, slick nearly dripping from your opening, clit straining for attention. 

You were about to simply finish yourself off, not willing to wait any longer when you needed so horribly, when Kili dropped to his stomach, slung your legs over his shoulders, and put his mouth on your quim. 

“ Kili! ” you cried, out of surprise, more than anything. He slicked his tongue up the line of you, dipping between your lips and lapping broad and wet. His mouth was hotter than anything else you’d ever felt. You practically melted into the bed, a warbling moan torn from your lungs. 

He slicked over your entrance, nearly drooling, making everything even more wet with saliva. He jumped up, fluttered the tip over your clit a few times, then suckled the small bud with loose, messy kisses. Two fingers pressed back into you, not quite as large as his cock, but enough still. 

Your walls were sore from being taken before, but his mouth was a balm, licking sloppily between his fingers, all the way back to your clit. He fucked you quickly, but kept his movements short, fingertips rubbing over the same spot, over and over.

It didn’t take long. Not with how close you’d been, how long you’d waited. Not with wet warmth laving over you, and fingers hitting just right. 

You sobbed when bliss overtook you, building and building until it broke and you were drowning in it, legs jolting on either side of his head, his brown eyes taking in every single detail. 

Your sight went fuzzy and white for a moment, body full of tingles, and when you came back down from the clouds you’d been thrust into, Kili was kissing your thighs, gentle and sweet. 

He climbed up with what energy he had left, only to collapse atop you, burying his face in your neck and breathing deeply. 

His bulky weight squashed you into the mattress, heavy enough to make your breath short, but comforting in a way you couldn't describe. You spent several minutes just caressing his back, feeling out and tracing scar lines and moles. You would have to count them all, someday. And then again. 

Because you could. 

He left lazy kisses on your shoulder. You reached his hair and sighed, gently beginning to comb through it. It was horribly tangled, and you knew it would take you forever to braid later. 

The first time you tugged was an accident, fingers getting caught in a knot. He responded with a low rasp, nuzzling into your neck. His beard made your skin sensitive, a gentle burn, and he nipped playfully in retaliation. 

The second time was less of a tug and more of a pull, hand tightening the locks near his skull and firmly guiding his head back. Kili let out something like a growl at the feeling. When his eyes opened to find yours, they were dark and impish all over again. 

You peered down at his lips, heat swelling between your legs. Even you were a touch surprised at how quickly you were renewed. “Another round?" he smirked, "So quickly? I'm beginning to think you only like me for my body.” His hips tipped against the bed, you noted. 

“It is one of your best qualities,” you joked back, laughing at his faux affronted gasp. He had been struggling with the scar, you knew. It marred him so, made him look even more different to his kin. It made you overjoyed to hear him jest about it. 

“Besides," you said, releasing his hair so he could lean in, “we have plenty of times to make up for.”