Chapter Text
There was no way! It simply couldn’t be possible, was what Gyuvin had thought. Ricky being an alpha didn’t make sense in the slightest. He was such a sweet, shy and kind person and had never shown any signs of presenting as an alpha. It just didn’t add up.
Even when they had been younger, Gyuvin thought that it couldn’t be possible for Ricky to one day become an alpha. Not after his own presentation as one.
Ricky either had to be an omega or a beta. At least that's what Gyuvin had thought. When Ricky still hadn’t presented by the time they had finished high school, him being a beta was most likely.
Who could've known that Ricky belonged to the small percentage of late bloomers? Right, no one. Gyuvin definitely hadn't expected it. Even though he remembered how Ricky had once mentioned that he wanted to be an alpha, like his dad. Gyuvin had laughed at him. He had disliked the thought.
It was for a pure selfish, and on top of that silly reason. For years, he had this stupid crush. Or to be a bit precise, Gyuvin had fallen in love with his best friend, with whom he had no chance of getting together. Now that chance had decreased further and dropped below zero.
An alpha dating another alpha was already rare and still looked down by the majority in society. Of course, in the past years things had changed and people had become more open minded, no longer holding tight to the old traditional days. But besides that, what were the percentages of alphas liking someone with the same secondary gender? Gyuvin had no idea but he was certain that they were low.
Gyuvin let out a sight and stroked through his hair, leaving it in a messy state.
He should stop having such selfish thoughts. He knew that. Instead, he should be happy for Ricky, after all he turned out to be the subgender he’d wished to be. What he had to do now was to be there for his best friend and nothing else.
"Hello? Gyuvin are you still there?” sounded a voice through the speaker of his phone, which laid forgotten next to him on the bed. Gyuvin flinched and was pulled back to reality.
Hastily, he picked the phone back up. Get it together, Gyuvin scolded himself in silence before he answered. “Yes, Hao-hyung, I'm here. I was just surprised.” He let out a strained laugh.
“Don’t worry, you can probably imagine how surprised I was when I came home yesterday.” Hao let out an amused huff. Oh, Gyuvin could imagine that. To find out that your suspected beta roommate was in fact an unpresented alpha must be quite the surprise.
“I probably should go back to Ricky,” Hao told him. He had only called Gyuvin to inform him about what was going on.
Gyuvin hummed in agreement before a thought crossed his mind and having a quick mouth, he had to blurt it out without processing it. “I could come over if you need help, hyung?”
For a few seconds Hao remained quiet. “Oh, I’m sorry, but that’s not a good idea at the moment. I already said the same to Hanbin but having an alpha around would only trigger Ricky at the moment and you know…” he explained and Gyuvin felt a bit dumb.
He knew this and yet he still had asked.
"Oh, of course."
What sticked a bit sour to Gyuvin’s heart though, was that Hanbin had asked too. Which meant Hao had probably called the older boy first. Was he the last person to know about Ricky? Not that he could be upset at Hao for speaking with Hanbin first, they were boyfriends after all. Besides, Hanbin just happened to be that person you called when you needed to talk to someone.
“It’s alright, I’ll let you know when things have gotten better,” Hao assured. “For help, Taerae said that he would drop by later, but for now I can manage.”
With that, they bid their goodbyes and Hao hung up.
Quietness filled the small room.
Gyuvin fell back on this bed, staring at the white ceiling. Right now his mind was racing.
He decided to ignore the information that Taerae apparently also knew about Ricky before him, which made sense though, because he and Hanbin were roommates. Besides, Taerae coming over to Ricky's and Hao's place was a good idea.
The two betas contributed a lot to the stability and harmony in their friend group. They would be able to keep a clear head around an alpha in rut. A few months back, they had stayed with Matthew too, when he had been in heat.
Gyuvin remembered that he had thought that they all would actually make a decent pack, with how well they worked together. Even if they weren't balanced out anymore with another alpha in their group. But who cared about something like that?
He didn't. What someone's secondary gender was shouldn't matter, and it never had for Gyuvin. The friends he had were a mix of alphas, betas and omegas. Sure, the only omega he actually had a close friendship with was Matthew but still.
With Ricky everything was different. However, Gyuvin was determined that he needed only a day to get over… well, the shock. Tomorrow he would be used to another alpha in their group, to Ricky being an alpha. Maybe it was better like this. Maybe it would even help him get over this stupid crush he had harbored for years. Maybe…
Ugh. He huffed in frustration and kicked his feet in the air.
For some time Gyuvin laid on his bed, doing nothing. At least not physically, but his mind went around in circles. It was obvious who occupied his thoughts.
He had been so immersed that he nearly jumped when a knock sounded from the door of his room. Before Gyuvin could say anything, the door opened and a boy peeked inside. Upon seeing Gyuvin he came in and stopped before the bed.
It was, of course, and who else could it have been, his roommate, Gunwook, who had knocked.
“There you are hyung,” Gunwook said reproachfully and flopped down at the end of the mattress. “You haven't answered my messages,“ complained the younger boy.
Gyuvin quickly sat up and unlocked his phone. He had four unread messages from Gunwook. One to inform him that Gunwook had been on his way back and the other three were questions about food.
“I'm sorry.” Gyuvin looked up to meet Gunwook's eyes. “I've… been thinking.” And apparently he'd been so absorbed in his thoughts, that he hadn't noticed how much time had passed.
“It's alright, I still brought some fried chicken for the both of us,” he waved towards the door. Where their shared kitchen and overall living room was. “But,” Gunwook gave him a quizzical look, “is everything okay?”
It didn't surprise Gyuvin that Gunwook saw right through him. Maybe it was due to their closeness that being roommates brought, that Gunwook knew him well, or because he was a very observant and empathetic beta.
Shaking his head, Gyuvin straightened his back. “Nothing, just… have you heard from Hao-hyung?” he asked.
The frown on Gunwook's face already told him the answer. “No, why?”
“He called me earlier and, uh,” Gyuvin paused. Suddenly he found himself searching for words. It shouldn't be hard to say what happened and yet it was. Speaking the truth out loud of what Gyuvin had learned an hour ago turned out to not be that easy.
Perhaps because Gyuvin had to accept the reality a bit sooner than he felt ready too.
Oh god! Was he really being this dramatic right now? Yes, apparently so. Gyuvin brushed his short hair back and exhaled.
“It's just, just Ricky presented.” Not fully looking at Gunwook, he added, “as an alpha.”
“What?” Gunwook stared at him with disbelief. “No way!” He shook his head. “For real?” He grabbed Gyuvin’s knee and shook his leg. As if that would coax the truth out of Gyuvin. And well, maybe it did.
“Yes, Hao-hyung said it started yesterday. When he came back home Ricky was already, uhm… you know,” he made an ominous gesture in the air hoping to convey the unsaid. Because saying Ricky had gone into rut felt… weird. If anything, even thinking about it was weird. Should he be feeling this way?
Gyuvin had gone through several ruts himself and they were a normal thing for him. Normal Alpha stuff, nothing to dwell on for too long.
However, thinking about Ricky and… No! Oh no! The spiraling of his thoughts shouldn’t get this out of hand. Right now he didn’t want to confront his feelings, he could deal with them later. Like always, he pushed his thoughts back, somewhere in the dustiest of dusty corners of his brain. Or so he imagined it.
“Wow, that's… great? I guess,” Gunwook managed and let out an awkward laugh. “It took him long enough.” It was obvious that the younger boy didn't know how he should react to the news. Gyuvin could relate well to that. Though Gunwook definitely had no trouble accepting Ricky's “new” gender. For obvious reasons.
Gyuvin shifted on the bed and crossed his legs. “Yeah, right?” he agreed and picked at the fuzz on his socks. “Crazy how we always thought he was a beta.” To the end his voice got quiet.
“He had us all convinced, including himself,” Gunwook chuckled. Then he paused and pretended to be shocked. “Wait, does that mean we have to kick him out of the beta squad group now?”
The chat he was talking about was one for the betas in their friend group, which included Hao, Taerae, Gunwook and Ricky, whereby the last of the four now didn't belong to them anymore.
Hao had created the group so that the sensible people under them could communicate better, or something along these lines. The truth in this statement was questionable and, to Gyuvin's knowledge, definitely not accurate. After all, they were all a little crazy in their own ways.
Gyuvin wasn't sure what he should answer and remained quiet. He let Gunwook talk, who tried to take the news with humor.
“Gyuvin-hyung?”
Gyuvin's head snapped up. He hadn't noticed how his thoughts had drifted off again and that he had stopped listening to his friend.
“So, Ricky is okay, right?” Gunwook inquired and Gyuvin had a hunch where this was going.
“Yes.”
“Okay, and you? Are you okay?” followed the question Gyuvin sort of had expected.
He knew Gunwook had observed him the whole time. That, and he also knew that Gunwook had found out about his crush on Ricky for a while now. However he had done that.
Gyuvin shifted and pressed his palms together. Was he okay? He wasn't sure, even though the answer should probably be yes but- “I- I don't know,” he managed to answer, a sigh followed closely after.
Right now he felt so defeated and helpless. Like he had just watched the last opportunity in his life disappear behind an unconquerable mountain. He just couldn't help it, even though he hated the way his heart ached. He was so pathetic, being miserable upon hearing the news of his best friend's presentation.
A warm hand got placed on Gyuvin's knee. “Hyung, you know that this doesn't change anything, right?” Gunwook gave him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his leg.
Gyuvin sighed. “Yeah, because I had no chance to begin with, right?” Resigned, he cast his eyes down.
Gunwook huffed and gave his leg a pat. “That's not what I meant, and you know it.”
“I know, but it's the truth.”
“No hyung, you don't know that. You haven't even asked him out, so how would you know?”
To argue with Gunwook about this was pointless. Because Gyuvin knew that he would get rejected, even without asking. He knew Ricky, and besides, it was safer this way. If Gyuvin confessed his feelings their, friendship would suffer under it, change from closeness to distance.
The change in their dynamic that Ricky's subgender would bring was enough. He could deal with that but not with potentially losing his friend. Under no circumstances could Gyuvin let Ricky know how he felt.
Tired, he sighed and shook his head. “Can we talk about something else? I don't want to think about that at the moment.” By that he meant his feelings and right now he hadn't the mind to face them. Just like all the other times to be precise, but who could blame him? Emotions were difficult and exhausting to deal with.
For a moment Gunwook looked at him with raised brows before he relented. “Alright, but we'll talk about it later, okay? Let's just go and eat for now. I don't want the food to get cold.”
The beta got up from the bed and held his hand out for Gyuvin to take and pull him up from the bed.
Thankful, that Gunwook dropped the subject, he put an arm around him and followed him into their shared living area.
To Gyuvin's luck, Gunwook never brought Ricky up for the rest of the day. Yet Gyuvin's mind circled back to Ricky on its own quite a lot.