Chapter Text
Alexander Janeway—Alex, for friends and family, so, effectively, for the whole crew of Voyager—was a happy child. A few weeks away from his eighth birthday, he enjoyed spending his time with his best friend Miral, who was only a few months older than he was. They sometimes managed to convince Naomi Wildman, twice as old as them, to play some Kadis-Kot or other board game with them, but most of the time, they played by themselves, either in a holodeck, or running around the ship.
That day, boredom had gotten the best of them, and they had decided to sneak into Engineering. It was a place forbidden for both of them by their parents, who considered it too dangerous for children, and as such it was the most attractive place to sneak into. It always fascinated both children how the crew worked in that space, governed by the imposing light of the warp-core. Miral felt particularly proud to see her mom lead her team of engineers, although her presence was an added risk to their escapade.
And that made it all the more exhilarating.
“Come on, Alex, you’re too slow”, Miral whispered as they moved through the Jefferies tubes.
“I’m not!” he whispered back louder than her friend.
“Are too”.
“Am not!”
“Then why are you so far behind?”
“Because”, Alex tried to think of an acceptable excuse, “because… I want to let you lead the way”.
“Right”, Miral looked at him smiling smugly, “well, move it, then, or you won’t be able to follow my lead”.
“I’m comiiiiing”, he groaned.
Finally reaching the door they knew led to the second floor of Engineering, Miral signaled to her friend to stay quiet. She opened the door slowly, trying to make as little sound as possible. She pressed her face to the side so that she could observe if there was anyone on that floor, and when she confirmed there wasn’t, she opened it completely and slid out. Alex was in charge of closing it as silently as he could, once he followed her out.
They exchanged a silent nod confirming the first part of their mission was accomplished without incidents.
They had decided they would crawl on the ground, something they considered quieter than walking, and infinitely cooler. As if they were Wentlian condor snakes, they slithered through the ground until they reached the balcony that overlooked the floor below. They tried to make themselves as invisible as possible, and from there they spied whatever the engineers were doing.
“There’s your mom”, Alex whispered, pointing towards B’Elanna, who was looking at a panel. “What do you think she’s doing?”
“Genius stuff, as always”, Miral smiled smugly again.
Alex didn’t comment on what she said; he was too busy observing everything that was happening below. It always hypnotized him to see grown-ups at work.
“Oh, look, your dad just came in”, he told Miral as Tom entered Engineering and hugged B’Elanna from behind, surprising her.
“Tom! You scared the hell out of me!” they heard her protest.
“Sorry, just wanted to share some love with my wife”, he replied, kissing B’Elanna up her neck until he reached her ear.
The kids shared a disgusted grimace from witnessing that public display of affection.
“Tom! Stop it!” B’Elanna protested.
“Come on, B’El, you love it”, he didn’t show any intention at stopping.
“Let’s go somewhere more private, then”, B’Elanna suggested, pointing up with her head.
Panic shot through Alex and Miral, who tried to slither as quickly as their little bodies allowed them into the Jefferies tubes. They got in just as Tom and B’Elanna climbed the stairs. Miral was going to close the door completely, but Alex impeded it with his arm. He always enjoyed hearing the conversations of adults, and he was curious to see what Miral’s parents would do up there.
A few more kisses followed, but then the adults started talking.
“You are quite affectionate today”, B’Elanna said.
“What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic”.
“I’m a lucky woman, then”.
“And I’m a lucky man”.
They kissed once again, but B’Elanna stopped them.
“As much as I love this, Tom, I really should get back to work. How about we continue after my shift, huh?”
“We have dinner with Captain Janeway and family”.
“Oh, that’s right! I forgot. By the way, do you know what the plans are for Alex’s birthday?”
Alex gave Miral a cheeky smile: now they were getting somewhere.
“I think Chakotay wanted to take Alex on a holodeck adventure: make a boat, go down a river…”
“Those two… they’re so much alike it’s astounding”.
“Agreed. It almost makes you think Chakotay is Alex’s real father”.
“Indeed. Which comes to show you how important education is over biology”.
The conversation continued, but Alex could not hear anything else. His ears were ringing, and he suddenly felt short of breath. What did they mean by that? Was Chakotay not his father? Was all his life a lie? He was starting to hyperventilate, and Miral was looking at him concerned.
“Alex…” she started whispering. She had felt the blow the unexpected news had dealt him.
“I gotta go”, he said, and quickly turned back down the Jefferies tubes.
“Alex, wait”, Miral tried not to raise her voice and follow his friend but, just as much as she had teased him for being slow before, he was now speeding away from her.
They reached the exit that led them to a corridor, and Alex started running. His eyes were red from crying angry tears he could not keep at bay. He felt as though a photon torpedo had passed through his chest, destroying everything on its way. His world had just been shattered into a million pieces, and he didn’t know if he’d ever be able to put them back together.
“Wait, Alex!” he heard Miral call after him, but he did not want to speak to her. In fact, he did not want to speak to anybody at all, ever again.
Alex reached his room, which was inside his parents’ quarters and took a quick look around.
“Computer, lock the doors”, he ordered just in time for Miral to stay outside the room, in the empty quarters of the Captain and her First Officer, whom she thought of as her godparents.
The sound of things breaking—or rather, being broken—reached unequivocally her ears. She didn’t know what to do, so she started banging on the door, that, of course, would not budge.
“Alex, please, come out! Let’s talk”, Miral suggested. She didn’t want him to break something he would later regret. She could understand his anger—anger was, after all, an emotion all too familiar for her—but she was fearful that it would lead him to a point of no return. “We can go prank Neelix, what do you say? I still have those Garanian bolites we replicated the other day”.
A loud crash, like the shattering of glass, was heard from the inside as a response. To be sure, Miral hadn’t really stopped to consider the implications of what they had heard her parents say. She was simply concerned that her best friend was in so much pain.
“Please, Alex, I’m sure there’s an explanation for this”.
“Go away, Miral!” came the reply, and the anger and hurt could be clearly heard in Alex’s voice. He was evidently still crying.
“I’m not going anywhere until you come out”, she replied.
“Fine, then I suggest you get a chair”, his voice was raspy and broken, and it concerned Miral.
The sounds of things crashing and breaking were still the soundtrack of the evening. Miral was beginning to wonder what to do, when she heard the doors to the quarters slide open behind her. She practically jumped and turned to see who it was.
“Captain Janeway”, she greeted with a nervous smile on her face. At least it wasn’t Chakotay.
“Hi, Miral, what are you doing here?” Janeway asked her, surprised, but she didn’t have to answer, as another crash coming from Alex’s room spoke for her. “What’s going on?”
“I… uh… I’d better go. I think… I think you need to talk to Alex”.
She moved to leave but the Captain grabbed her gently but firmly by the forearm.
“Miral, what’s going on?” she repeated the question, and she couldn’t mask the concern that tinged her voice.
“Just… just talk to him, Captain, please?” the girl answered and Janeway let her leave, which she did as fast as her legs allowed.
Once alone, Kathryn reached her son’s door and tried to talk to him.
“Alex?”
“Go away, Miral!”
He clearly wasn’t listening to her at all. This concerned her deeply, and it made her take a decision:
“Computer, security override Janeway-alpha-3”.
The doors hissed open and Kathryn took a deep breath to prepare herself for what she might find inside.