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Chapter Text

—

…as if I had forgotten the world around me, my fingers pushed into Osamu’s hair and one of my legs slid upwards towards his waist. I was imagining Akutagawa’s thin lips while french kissing my brother, having Akutagawa himself as the audience.

Now… you might be wondering how that fucked up situation came to be, so let me explain.

—

10 minutes ago.

“So, how’s the corporate world treating you?”

“Better than the Orphanage.”

“Seriously? You still haven’t forgiven me for that?”

“I was just kidding.”

I laughed but truth be told, I hadn’t forgiven Osamu for leaving me when we were just kids. Granted, he did find me last year, so far away from the doorsteps of the orphanage he left me, but as far as he was concerned, I was just transferred to another. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s all he needed to know.

We were walking down the road after a shopping trip that he insisted on taking me, to buy me clothes for the new job I got at the bank. It was my very first actual job and he was the one who did all the choosing, regardless of how good he dressed up for his job, I lost faith in his sense of style in women’s clothing when he brought me a wardrobe fit for a kid.

“I can’t wear any of these clothes to the office. I’d look like an idiot with the fashion sense of a fifteen year old.”

I wiggled the bags in my hand and he smiled, putting his free hand around my shoulder.

“You do have the fashion sense of a 15 year old. Well.. a 15 year old going through an emo phase.”

“I have one piercing. One.”

I rolled my eyes.

“I only allow it because it’s your ear.”

“Oh no, I’m so scared.”

We were swaying like drunkards, laughing and teasing each other, walking. In moments like these I could actually see Osamu as my family but the gnawing memory of him leaving me without looking back was always present in my mind, it was a slithering beast that I kept locked away in the most obsolete corners because I was scared that if I let it out, I would destroy my big brother and then myself. I had finally come home, and I would pretend like everything was fine, for the sake of the last leftovers of the Dazai bloodline.

I was hysterically laughing at something he said.

“Oh fuck, I think we should change directions.”

Osamu said suddenly, dragging me by the hand.

“What, are you scared of me embarrassing you in front of a friend or something?”

I stopped being swept away by his force and looked straight ahead to see what he saw and got startled by. I saw a distinct figure, a guy that is lean, tall and pale, covered in a black coat in broad daylight. To be honest, I was enchanted by the way he walked, his hands in his pocket, his eyes glowing with an anger I later learned was directed at my brother, his barely maintained bangs swinging in the wind.

“Actually, I’m more scared of him embarrassing me in front of you.”

“Dazai!”

He looked right at Osamu. I got shivers down my spine and Osamu’s grip tightened on my hand.

“You should leave.”

He said sternly, without averting his gaze from the guy that was still walking towards us.

“I’m not leaving.”

I grabbed his elbow.

“New favorite?”

The guy finally stopped in front of us, unwavering from the crowd that was passing us by and nodded at me with his chin. Osamu sighed, as if he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. In my year I spent with Osamu, I had never seen him agitated and restless like he was right now. I wondered if he was dangerous, if he was a ‘friend’ from when Osamu was also a Port Mafia member. All in all, big brother was scared for my safety, because Osamu Dazai wasn’t scared of anybody, rather he welcomed the danger like it’s an early birthday present. He loved the thrill of it, and I inherited that trait from him. Osamu sighed again.

“Akutagawa, I have no business with you right now. Let’s just go our separate way.”

Akutagawa huh, does suit a guy who looks like a victorian ghost with TB.

“You might not have business with me, right now or never. But I always have business with you.”

He stole a glance from me again, and Osamu tightened his grip even more. I was sensing the danger right about now, I knew this guy was not someone to fuck around with. He had this darkness around him that was actually starting to smother me, the intensity of his hatred poisoning the air. All of my nerves were fired up with a sense of impending doom.

How strong is this guy’s ability?

“You and I can square this out in some other place. Not here, not in this crowd.”

Osamu stood tall, looking eye to eye with the opponent.

“You still haven’t answered my question, Dazai.”

Akutagawa stared at me, I thought I’d get blown away by that stern look. I stared back, grinding my teeth, my ego would not let me look away. But one thing was certain, even between me and Osamu, taking down this guy might not have been an easy thing, when there were so many by-standers.

“She iS just a date.”

There was the slightest stutter in Osamu’s voice but I was sure Akutagawa couldn’t catch it.

“Are you telling me to ignore the resemblance?”

He pointed at my eyes and then at Osamu’s.

“80% of the population has brown eyes.”

I finally spoke directly at the man that was menacing us in the middle of the packed road. He looked at me like he was going to eat me alive. I slipped my hand shamelessly inside Osamu’s coat and wrapped my arm around his waist inappropriately, but the guy didn’t seem convinced.

Damn, here goes nothing.

I pulled Osamu by the collar, and Osamu seemed to have read my mind. He leaned in, cupping my face and pushing his lips into me. I acted as if I had forgotten the world around me, my fingers pushing into Osamu’s hair and one of my legs sliding upwards towards his waist. I was losing my conscience trying not to breathe so that this moment will be over in one inhale, my eyes were closed shut not to see Osamu’s face or eyes, I tried my best to imagine someone else and for better or for worse my brain was frozen and the only other face I could remember from the 8.1 billion people in the world was the audience member we had.

Akutagawa.

I was imagining Akutagawa’s thin lips while french kissing my brother, having Akutagawa himself as the audience.

Finally.. Finally after what felt like a disgusting forever, Osamu released me, basically shoving me away.

“He’s gone.” He said, panting and we looked at each other for a slightest moment, and started to run. Osamu grabbed my coat sleeve and stopped me in front of a small shop.

“Water please, water.. A lot”

He slammed his hand on the counter repeatedly and the surprised shop owner handed us two water bottles. We were washing our mouths and scraping away the reminiscence of the kiss, trying our best not to make eye contact.

“Oh my fucking god damn shit fuck”

He cursed, spilling the rest of the water on his face and broke down laughing, sitting down on the pavement of the road. I frowned, continuing to wash my mouth.

“Fuck that was weird. Do you think he bought that?”

He asked, looking at me with his usual playful smile. I smirked.

“Don’t know. You didn’t ask me to commit suicide with you before kissing me.”

“What do you mean Rashomon felt different? And what do you mean Dazai kissed a girl?”

Chuuya questioned while cleaning out his knife with a piece of fiber clothing. After Dazai left the mafia, Akutagawa and Chuuya had become unlikely acquaintances due to constantly being paired up for missions. As the most powerful gift wielders of the mafia it was only natural that Mori chose that course of action to keep them working together, maybe he had to do something to fill the gaps Oda, Ango and Dazai left behind.

“I already explained to you the kissing part. She just grabbed him and kissed him.”

Akutagawa was leaning on the wall with his arms crossed. He was a bit agitated about what he felt with Rashomon when he met Dazai the other day. He had been burning candles through the night, thinking if he had ever felt something like that happen before.

“OooOokay..h, so Rashomon?”

Chuuya asked, putting down the knife.

“Felt like it was tugging at me.”

“Tugging?”

“Yeah. It activated. Automatically without me calling for it. It was only the slightest bit but I felt it. It was pushing me towards Dazai.”

“Towards Dazai?”

“Towards them, I suppose.”

“Sounds weird. Are you sure it’s not you wanting to stop them from kissing in front of you? And you are delusioning yourself telling me it's the Rashomon?”

“No idiot! I mean, I don’t know if that’s what it was trying to do but it wasn’t me.”

“Has Rashomon ever gone out of control?”

“No.”

Chuuya let out the long exhale.

“I don’t know man. Maybe it was a coincidence.”

“Mind if I sit down?”

A girl asked me at lunch, smiling a bit shyly. I was a bit late to come to lunch because I had some urgent tasks that needed completing, but I was thankful because I didn't really want to eat together with the others. I was new and it was awkward, it felt strange to be the stranger that had to smile politely at the inside jokes that I had no idea of, say nice things about familiar members I knew nothing of, it was exhausting.

“Yeah sure.”

I smiled back at the girl, who seemed to be around the same age as me, I’ve seen her around the office but hadn't really talked.

“You’re new right? Me too. Came a couple of weeks ago.”

“Yeah..”

I smiled, not really knowing what to say.

“I mean I really don’t know anybody here. It’s good to have somebody that’s also in the same boat. I’m Yukina by the way…”

She continued on and for some reason, I was kind of glad that she did. And by the end of lunch, I had learned that she had two other siblings, that she lived nearby, and her favorite food was sushi. I was… making a friend. Apart from Osamu, I really didn't have anybody to talk with, and I felt lonely most of the time but I found that Yukina was really easy to talk with. We had similar interests in some things but were dead opposite in the other things, regardless, I was pretty sure I’d be sitting with her for lunch every day from now on, and I did.

It had been a week and a new, exhausting monday arrived, and we had become best friends.

I was lazily staring at the computer screen, when my inbox pinged, indicating a message arrived. It was from Yukina.

‘Hey, could you come look at my computer? It suddenly froze.’

I got out of my seat and hurried over, this was the job that I was hired to do. I looked over Yuki’s shoulder and started typing into the keyboard.

“Slow down a bit. I wanna use the opportunity to breathe.”

She chuckled when I stressfully slammed on the keys. I smirked, slowing down dramatically, pressing one key at a time with my index finger.

“I have a deposit to make.”

A client peeked over the counter, his voice brimming with annoyance at the two workers that were just dicking around, and I looked up apologetically only to find a very familiar face staring right back at me.

Akutagawa.

It was him that looked startled by me, more than I did when I saw him. But I wasn't entirely focused on his reactions, my whole nervous system was responding to the power I felt around him. It was almost intoxicating and addictive. I wanted to slurp up the darkness and the absolute potential of it. I wanted to revel and bathe in it. I wanted to-

“Sorry about the inconvenience. The computer is frozen. Please come with me.”

Yukina smiled politely at Akutagawa, putting an end to our intense eye contact. Finally, I could breathe as they walked away from me.

—--

“What do you mean you feel it pulling you?”

Osamu asked me when I told him about my encounter at dinner.

“Explain to me what his ability is.”

I requested instead of answering, just so I’d have enough information to actually answer the question he asked me. In response, Osamu told me about the ability of Akutagawa Ryunosuke.

Rashomon. The name pulled a string in my heart. I didn't know what it was or why it was making me tear up as Osamu explained to me about Rashomon and its various techniques and how Akutagawa had complete control over that ability. He sounded almost impressed, but like he was holding back from giving a true compliment and I knew why as he talked further. Akutagawa Ryunosuke was using his ability to murder the enemies of Port Mafia.

“You aren't so innocent yourself, brother.”

I said, not to defend Akutagawa’s actions but to defend my own. We all have things we aren't proud of, moments we wish we could have avoided, lives we failed to save.

“I know. I’m not saying I’m a saint but.. at one point I realized some truth. That’s why I tried to save him. But.. all he wanted was to show me how powerful he is, he didn't care who got hurt for that. And that’s not what I wanted.”

Osamu sounded regretful now. I poured tea into his cup as an apology for bringing up something painful to him.

“Anyway..”

I picked up the topic we left behind a couple of minutes ago.

“..when he is around, I can feel his ability.”

“Well you could always do that.”

He commented, sipping tea.

“Yeah but.. this is different. It’s like it wants to come to me. It wants me to take it or something. I’ve never met an ability user whose power was trying to seep through my skin and get inside of me. I just do it on my own.”

“Hmm.. Are you sure Akutagawa is not behind this? He isn't doing it?”

“Pretty sure if he isn't an Oscar worthy actor. He might be realizing that his power is being attracted to me though.”

“That’s not… That’s not good.”

Osamu shook his head, talking to himself.

“..I thought him realizing you are my sister would put you in danger. Now he doesn’t need any other reason but this to eliminate you.”

He kept talking, circling the leftover tea in his cup.

“Would he really be that dangerous?”

I raised an eyebrow.

“He’ll kill you. You need to disappear.”

“I’ll kill that damned woman. She is the reason. I know it. I KNEW it when Rashomon started acting out when I saw her at the bank. I thought the beast would come out right then and there, I felt like it was slipping from my grasp.”

Akutagawa nagged to Chuuya after the brief encounter he had at the bank.

“Okay at least you have new information.”

Chuuya sipped his wine slowly.

“That she is the reason?”

Akutagawa asked, sitting down at the table and running his fingers through his hair. He coughed suddenly, and had to use the other palm to cover his mouth.

“Yeah. You couldn't really tell that she was the one messing up your ability because Dazai was also there. Now you are certain. Do what you will with that information.”

Akutagawa stood up from the chair, pushing it back with sound.

“You want any help with this?”

Chuuya asked without looking up since he already knew the answer.

“I can take care of one little girl.”

Akutagawa growled and left.

After an extremely heated argument between me and Osamu early in the morning, I headed to work. He was dead against me going, telling me that, that asshole Akutagawa would try to end my existence if he really did feel like I was trying to steal his power.

Osamu's exact words were “it doesn't matter what you make him feel. It doesn't matter if it’s hatred, disgust, mild annoyance or even something good like love or friendship, he WILL kill you. So imagine him feeling like you are a danger to his ability. He knows where you work. He will slice you up with Rashomon.”

I replied that I didn't wanna live my life looking over my shoulder, that I’m not scared of one little victorian emo dude, and that I wasn't going to leave Osamu when I had just gotten back together with him.

We fought, even pulled each other's hair at one point I think, but it ended without a conclusion. I was leaving for work while Osamu slammed the door to his room, yelling loudly about letting me do “whatever the fuck I want”.

—-

I couldn't really talk to Yukina about my trouble because of all the secrets I have to spill. After an exhausting day, I was coming back home when suddenly somebody pulled me off the crowded road and into an empty alleyway in an instant.

“Fuck!”

I cursed, being slammed into a wall and I felt my ears ringing from the pain. Akutagawa’s black coat swung in the wind as he punched me in the face but I dodged that attack at the last minute.

“Rashomon!”

He yelled, summoning his ability.

Nothing Happened.

Even in the heat of the moment, I raised my eyebrow confused as to what he was doing, and he looked equally confused.

“Rashomon!!!”

He shouted again into the air and the echo of his voice got lost between the tall buildings which surrounded us. I took a couple of steps backwards, understanding that this was my cue to escape and I started running.

“Oi! STOP!”

He was running after me. A bead of blood was rolling on my cheek from the wound on my head I got when he slammed me into the wall.

“RASHOMON MURAKUMO”

Something came after me and casted a shadow in the blink of an eye, making me trip and fall because of the diverged attention.

“FuckFuckFuckFuck!!”

I started to crawl, to get on my knees and run away with my life completely intact. I knew what was awaiting me if I managed to get out of this clusterfuck, a big fucking lecture from my big brother which would start, and end in too many ‘I told you so’s but right now, I would have given anything to hear him say that.

I was realizing the danger, but my ego still wouldn't let me surrender or beg for my life. Right when I was about to get on my feet, Akutagawa reached me and kicked me across my back so hard that I rolled on the floor and struck the wall. He walked towards me and I was trying to sink into the bricks of the wall, or the dirt of the floor but I knew it was over for me.

Akutagawa reached me with a couple of heavy steps, his eyes burning with anger and hatred. I was too hurt to even know if I felt his ability, my whole body was aching like it was broken. Another drop of blood started rolling down my face.

“RASHOMON AGITO!!”

He commanded his beast at the top of his lungs. The beast came out, as an extension of his coat and I shivered looking at the sharp dark teethed shadow that was going to take my life. I was paralyzed with fear, not knowing what to do, cursing the limitations of my ability which I had inherited from my family because..

I cannot save myself. This is it. I’m going to die..

I stared at Akutagawa, unable to speak, my throat dry and eyes wet. He stared back, seething hatred towards me oozing out of every ounce of his entire being. He sighed.

“Kill her.”

Akutagawa ordered slowly. I closed my eyes when the dark monster came crashing towards me.

Dammit, sorry Osamu. Guess this is it.

But the final blow never came. I opened my eyes when I heard Akutagawa’s frustrated groan.

“RASHOMON!!!!!!!!!”

He ordered again and the beast reached to the front a bit more and I flinched, shrinking in my position, curled up into a wounded ball on the floor. But my closed eyelids fluttered open when the Rashomon beast rubbed its head on the blood trail of my face, almost like licking the blood away from me.

“Wha-what.. what’s..”

I stuttered and saw Akutagawa’s baffled expressions frozen in time.

What the fuck is he doing? Wait… he isn't doing it. Rashomon is.

“What the fu-who are you? WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!”

He started to yell at me, keeping his distance, trying to force his ability to go back in but the beast was rubbing its head on my face, neck and chest, nestling in such a way that reminded me of a cat.

“I- I..”

I didn't have an answer to give.

“FUCK YOU! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU. If Rashomon wants you, she’ll get it when I’m feeding pieces of you to her, you bitch. Watch your fucking back because I’m coming for you.”

He started to walk away, pulling the beast which was reluctant to leave me and go back inside the coat. I lied there, my vision blurring little by little while one thought occupied my mind.

Rashomon is a she?

Chapter Text

“I TOLD YOU!”

Osamu was cleaning my head wound while giving me the expected lecture.

“Well good for YoU”

I hissed when the wound burned from the surgical liquid he was using. He grabbed my head and stopped me from moving.

“I’m going to pull that punk’s limbs apart.”

He started bandaging me skillfully, while muttering under his breath.

“Please don’t.”

I whispered. Curiosity had gotten the better of me and I wanted to know what Rashomon was doing, cuddling in my embrace while the owner tried to kill me.

“Why didn't you fight him?”

Osamu suddenly asked me a question that had being on my mind as well. I had enough opportunities to touch him and make him powerless but I didn't do it even once. I couldn't even explain myself why that happened, I was telling myself that it was because I was surprised by the suddenly ambush but there was more to it, everytime I was around Akutagawa I got this overwhelming desire to suck his powers dry that I had to not do it at all.

“I can’t”

I whispered and Osamu grabbed my chin forcefully and growled.

“What!”

“I have this need to have his power and I’m scared of it. It’s just that.. just that..”

“Just that what! Answer me!”

“It happened before, with somebody else.”

I said in a low voice, letting out one of the secrets I have been keeping in a cage in my mind.

“Somebody else?”

Osamu asked again.

“Yes.. There was this girl, she was so powerful. Her ability was.. fire. And I got this.. this urge to take her powers in, even for the ten minutes I could. And she knew what I do, you know.. and she told me she didn't mind if I took her ability for a while but uh..”

“Continue, butterfly.”

Osamu addressed me in an unfamiliar nickname. It wasn't unfamiliar because I hadn't heard it before, it was because it had been a long time since he said it.

“Yeah.. she was.. my um.. my friend. She said its fine and I touched her and got her powers but it kinda.. it was.. how do I say this.. um..”

“Addictive?”

Osamu asked suddenly.

“YES. yes. Exactly. I wanted it again and again. And every time my time with the power expired and it went back to her, I’d beg her to let me have it again. And I guess she couldn't handle it anymore. Well her body couldn't. She started getting sick after a couple of days and we stopped. Well at least she asked me to stop.. and I was feeling so guilty that I hurt her so I was going to leave her and I went to see her one last time. She was sleeping and I just wanted to kiss her goodbye but when I felt her power again, I just couldn't stop.. I started sucking it up again and.. and.. she.. she died.”

I might have looked emotionless but the truth was the guilt of her dying had made me closer to being completely dead from the pain I felt. Osamu silently hugged me as if he knew it was hurting me, and started rubbing my back.

“I’m sorry about your girlfriend. You must have loved her a lot.”

He whispered on my head. A sob escaped my mouth when he acknowledged my love for her even without me having to say it. Maybe it was clear with my words, maybe it was visible in my eyes, I didn't know but I did, yes, I loved her a lot.

“I can’t get addicted like that again, Osamu.”

I finally sighed.

“I understand. But we need to do something about this situation. You have to resign and stay at home. You can’t be walking around with a target on your back.”

“But I love my job”

“Not gonna let you go little sis.”

“Is there anything you could give him? To stop him from killing me?”

I was thinking about a bribe.

“Well, I can give him my middle finger. Doubt he’d like that.”

Osamu scoffed, making me break down laughing.

“Please don’t make me laugh. My head hurts”

I bit into my forearm to stop laughing. Osamu's smile had already disappeared and the usual calculating look remained in his eyes.

“Laugh all you want. I’m not letting you go back to that place, Y/N.”

—--

“Yuki?”

I answered my phone while being placed under house arrest by my brother. She and I had been texting, which was basically about her missing me at the job and inquiring me about what was wrong. I told her that it was about a family problem.

“Come get her.”

The other side said, in a low guttural voice.

“AKUTAGAWA!”

I exclaimed.

“Good that you remember me. Come alone. Tonight. Or else.”

He hung up.

The panic I felt was hard to describe, it even took me time to put together what had actually happened. Akutagawa had kidnapped Yuki and was threatening to kill her if I didn't comply with his orders. I knew I shouldn't go because all that was awaiting me at the end of this tunnel was death but he had gotten to Yuki, the one friend I made who was caring enough to check on me when I disappeared from the job. Besides, I could not let yet another innocent girl die for me and my stupid ability that I lose control over at the worst of times.

The phone dinged, with an address.

‘Come alone.’ A message followed.

—---

Fuck, Yukichi would be so disappointed in me.

I was trying to open my eyes. I had gotten to the address and got hit on the head before I even yelled out her name and now I was waking up, bound to a chair.

“Who are you?”

A voice came to my ears and I saw a tall figure through my blurred vision.

“Ak-Akutagawa!”

I hissed, shaking my head to clear my eyes.

“Again, who are you?”

He repeated the question. I turned my head, left to right, stretched my neck as much as I could, searching the dark room but there was no sign of Yukina.

“Oh, that girl? She is not here.”

He started to walk around me.

“WHERE IS SHE!”

I tried to get my hands released but it wasn't a success.

“Only took the phone.”

He shook the phone in his hand, showing me the blue-ish stickers on the cover.

Well, That’s convenient.

“Asshole.”

I cursed, rolling my eyes but I was happy that she was not in trouble. Akutagawa had only pickpocketed Yuki’s phone somehow and had not kidnapped her, in my panic I had forgotten that was also a possibility because Osamu had told me horror stories about Akutagawa.

“What the fuck do you do to my ability?”

He started the line of questions again.

“I don’t know.”

I answered sincerely.

“Tell me the truth.”

“I am.”

“From the beginning, what is your ability?”

He made a different approach.

“I don’t have one.”

I lied.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I don’t have an ability.”

“What about Dazai?”

“What about him?”

“Who are you to him?”

“I thought we cleared that out that da-”

Akutagawa grabbed my neck while I was answering and started choking me. My eyes were welling and I was struggling, gagging and dying slowly until he finally stopped.

“I need answers.”

He growled in my ear.

“I have none.”

I replied.

Akutagawa started walking around again and suddenly coughed. He covered his mouth with his forearm.

TB?

I smirked. He talked again.

“One thing I noticed, you aren't questioning why you are in this interrogation. Almost like you know what is happening.”

He peeked to my face.

Goddammit. I need to up my game.

“Osamu said you didn't need a reason to kill anybody. He also said you have a big fucking crush on him. Figured you were just jealous…”

I was talking nonstop because I felt Rashomon slowly slithering around to my wrists that were bound by rope. I was fairly certain that Akutagawa was not aware of his beast going rogue and I kept talking to give Rashomon time to do its her magic.

“...and is trying to kill me just because I got to kiss him and you didn’t.”

“STOP LYING!!!!!!!!”

He roared at me suddenly and Rashomon went back into the coat undetected. But I felt that the ties were loose enough for me to release my hands myself. For that I needed time and I didn't have the capacity to think with Akutagawa breathing down my neck and me having to keep my urges under control to take over Rashomon. So I started telling him the truth once again.

“Fine. I have an ability. I can take anybody else's ability and use it.”

“Elaborate.”

“It’s just what I said. I can just take the ability of any other ability user. When I take it, they can’t use it. Only I can.”

I made sure to not mention the limitations to my ability or the most specific details of how it works.

“Is that what you are doing? Are you controlling Rashomon INSTEAD OF ME?!”

“No. Akutagawa I didn't do it. But I can feel your ability when you are near me. I’m not doing anything. Whatever it is, it is your own ability going rogue.”

“Rashomon doesn't go rogue.”

“Then how do you explain this?!”

I finally got my hands released and got the jump on him, kicking his knee so he would fall down. He fought back, tackling me to the ground. He pressed his elbow into my neck.

“It’ll be all over when I kill you.”

He growled.

“Fuck you. I’m not dying today.”

I headbutted him and pushed him away, getting on my feet. I reached the chair he had bound me to and grabbed it to deal a blow across his back. I swung the chair but to my surprise Rashomon came out and blocked the wood from hitting Akutagawa’s head.

“WHO’S SIDE ARE YOU ON!?”

I yelled when the debris of the chair flew around us only leaving me with one splintered piece of wood in my hand.

“You stupid bitch! Rashomon is MINE!”

Akutagawa’s frustrated voice was followed by a slap he landed across my face.

“Seriously? Bitch slapping?”

I grabbed my burning cheek, but when I looked up he was in my face pushing me to the wall. Before I reacted, I heard a click and he shoved something into my mouth. A gun.

“Rashomon isn’t the only way I can kill.”

He had me secured, cornered and at the end of a gun barrel. I felt like throwing up with the taste of oil and gunpowder slowly invading my taste buds but I still didn't have my gag reflexes activated.

Wow, am I that good at deepthro-

That wasn't it. He hadn't shoved it down far enough. It was just in my mouth like a fucking lollipop.

“You are done.”

He said slowly.

I had the little splintered wood pressed to his lower stomach, but seemed like he didn't feel it yet with the adrenaline coursing through his veins. I signaled him with my eyes.

He looked down and saw the wood piercing his skin and starting to paint his white shirt red.

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll live. You won’t.”

Jackass.

“mmtmmmhhmm”

I tried to talk with the gun in my mouth.

“Last words?”

He pulled back the gun a bit, but it remained on my lips. I saw him staring at the gun, frozen in time for a moment.

“I can’t die in these clothes. Cause unlike you my ghost won’t look Victorian enough to haunt.”

If I was dying right now, at least I wanted to say something cool before I bite the bullet. But to my surprise, Akutagawa chuckled. It was the slightest bit and he also looked as equally horrified as me about the mishap. While we were both staring at each other, Rashomon came out.

“RASHOMON! What the fuck are you doing!”

Akutagawa screamed at it while Rashomon wrapped around his arm, covering the gun and reaching my face. A black tendril brushed away the strand of hair that was blocking my right eye. I whispered, with Rashomon caressing my cheek.

“Seems like she really doesn't want me to die.”

“And you just let her go?”

Chuuya asked and Akutagawa nodded, defeated. Chuuya started laughing his ass off. Akutagawa grunted.

“You said- hahahahah- you said it’s one little girl. How many times have you failed now?”

Chuuya was laughing again.

“SHUT UP IDIOT!”

Akutagawa threw a porcelain vase at Chuuya but it just stopped midair by the order of the gravity controller. Akutagawa sighed, cursing himself for being so fucking weak.

He remembered the way her lips were wrapped around the gun as she stared into his eyes, almost suggestively or maybe he had imagined it.

Who gives that kinda look when they are about to die.

But the way a strand of saliva connected her mouth to the mouth of the gun remained etched in his brain and made his cheek burn hot.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

“What are you, having a wet dream?”

Chuuya's voice startled him.

“Hmmmmh. I wasn't going to tell you this. But it seems like I have to. If not for nothing, just to fuck with your head, that girl is Dazai's sister.”

Chuuya shrugged.

“WHAT!”

“Yeah.. She’s his sister. Not a date or a secret lover or anything.”

“But- but they kissed.”

“Probably to throw you off the trail.”

“What the f-”

“Deranged and weird, I know. Kinda funny too.”

“She is- how do you know this?”

“Come on, man. I worked with Dazai for years. I know everything about him.”

Chuuya stood up to leave, patting Akutagawa’s shoulder after dropping that nuclear warhead on his head. Akutagawa pulled his hair, sinking into the couch. He didn't know how to feel about the little bratty girl being Dazai's sister, whether he should hate her or not. He sighed. He wanted to find her again and get all his questions answered but the hatred for Dazai was too great to even consider fraternizing with his sibling.

“Goddammit.”

Chapter Text

“Here.”

I placed the box in front of Yukina. She looked up, surprised at me suddenly popping up at the office after a long break.

“How do you know I lost my phone?”

She asked, opening the box and finding the brand new phone inside. I went around the counter and dragged a chair to sit down next to her before I answered her question.

“The asshole who stole it from you tracked me down using it.”

I knew I’d have to explain everything and I still hadn't filled out some of the plot holes to the cover story.

Let’s hope she won’t dig deep.

“He tracked you down?”

“Yeah..”

“Why?”

“Donno.”

“Well what did he say?”

“He said a lot of things. About my brother, about me, bla bla.”

“Who is this dude?”

“Do you remember the grumpy guy who came to make a deposit that time when your computer froze?”

“Long black coat, black and white hair?”

“Yeah. That’s him.”

“Oh wow. He was kinda hot though. So, you got a stalker huh?”

She said, smirking.

“Hmmm.. I wouldn't say a stalker per se…”

I didn't know why I was blushing.

“What’s that about him not being a stalker?”

She asked me, hitting me in the arm repeatedly to get my attention. I looked up, only to find Akutagawa walking towards us in his usual menacingly calm pace with his hands in his pocket.

Shit.

“Hello, Y/N.”

He peeked over the counter.

“Official working hours hadn't started yet.”

I didn't know what else to say so I just started being a regular-ass bank worker. I still hadn't forgotten the way he stared at my lips with a gun pressed to them, or more accurately, I can’t actually forget the way how I felt about it. I was enchanted yet again, if it wasn't for the gun I would have started tearing down his clothes right then and there.

Fuck, what is this stupid feeling.

“I want to talk to you.”

He demanded.

“Why? Different method you wanna try?”

I couldn't say much with Yukina there right beside me but he seemed to have understood me really well.

“No. Not today, I assure you.”

It was very un-Akutagawa like for him to not start being hostile the moment he saw me. This had put me in a rock and a hard place because I was tempted to go with him because I was curious to see what he had to say but I had learned my lesson about Akutagawa as well.

“Come with me. Outside. Now.”

He turned back after giving me an order. Yuki and I shared a look.

“Commanding, isn't he? Are you wet yet?”

I slapped Yukina’s arm, turning bright red despite my best efforts. I did know she was the one to make dirty jokes about any situation but I hadn't being the subject of it until now.

“Well, your face says it all. Gonna come? I mean Go! Gonna go?”

She asked again.

“Yeah.”

I hurried after Akutagawa to save myself from Yuki and her lewd commentaries.

“So?”

I asked, crossing my arms when we were outside. Thankfully the street was crowded enough for him to keep his distance and not murder me where I stood.

“I want to know.”

He replied.

“I don’t speak that code. Could you be less vague?”

“I want to know about you. About your ability. Rashomon is.. protective of you as it seems. I want to know the reason.”

He dragged through the sentence as if he’d rather die.

“And why would I spill my secrets like that?”

“Because if you do, you’ll also get answers.”

“What if I don’t need answers?”

“Don’t you?”

“I um.. I do but-”

“Then come with me.”

He grabbed my hand and I immediately retreated into a defensive position. He looked at me disappointed.

“I’m not here to kill you today.”

He put out his hand.

“Today being the driving word?”

I didn't budge.

“Yes.”

He said simply.

—---

“First of all, this coffee sucks.”

I rolled my eyes while we sat across from each other at a small coffee shop of my own choosing because I had begun to act cautiously around Akutagawa.

“Hardly my fault when you dragged me here.”

He replied, drinking his tea.

“I didn't drag you here, asshole. You came to pull me away from my job for your own sake.”

“Watch your mouth, bitch.”

“You’re one to talk you pale-faced psycho-phantic, tuberculosi-esque jackass.”

“What are you, DJ-ing the dictionary?”

“You tell me why we are here or I’m out.”

“Told you I need answers.”

“Well then, ask the freaking questions.”

“Who are you?”

“And how do you expect me to answer that question, Akutagawa? I work at a bank. I have one piercing in my ear. I like Ramen and My favorite color is black.”

I ranted and I saw him smirk at the last word. I sighed, knowing that I just complemented his wardrobe.

“I know you are Dazai's sister. It was a weird sacrifice slash ruse you two did to keep that fact hidden but I can see why Dazai would wanna hide his personal connections from the world.”

“Then how do you know?”

“A friend told me.”

“What friend?”

“Unimportant. Your ability is a bit similar to Dazai's so I assume you also wanna touch the user to take their ability.”

Not bad.

“Are you tryna make me touch you?”

I smirked to mask my impressed expressions.

“Don’t flirt with me.”

He rolled his eyes.

“Wasn’t trying to. You give yourself too much credit.”

I held up my hands. Meanwhile I saw Rashomon crawling on the table to get to my hands. Rashomon had been in my mind more than Akutagawa himself and my addiction to her was almost out of control when I saw her reaching for me. I tried to grab the tendril but Akutagawa grabbed and pushed Rashomon into the coat and I thought I heard Rashomon cry painfully even though it can’t make a sound.

I frowned, pulling my hand back but he grabbed it and squeezed.

“Don’t forget the warning, bitch. Rashomon is mine. You try to take her, you go down.”

“And here I thought we aren't flirting.”

I looked at his grip which was tight around my wrist.

“We aren't.”

He whispered, still not letting go of my hand.

“Yes. I do have to touch.”

I smirked answering his questiona and trying to turn my palm towards him and he pulled his hand back fast, like he touched hot coal.

“Heheh.. Coward”

I laughed.

“Go to hell.”

He cursed.

“Been there, they fired me.”

“How long can you hold onto an ability? Can you hold multiple abilities?”

“Okay, If I am to answer your questions, I want something in return.”

“Go on.”

“I want Rashomon- And before you go berserk, Ten minutes is all I ask.”

I didn't know whether what I was asking was right for myself when I knew very well I might give into addiction, even so, today I was weaker than ever to feel Rashomon inside of me.

“How can you guarantee that you’ll give her back to me?”

“Hmmmh. Fair enough. Okay, there is a limitation to my ability. I can only hold onto one ability for ten minutes. Then it returns back to the original user. If I want it back, I have to touch them again.”

“How do I know if you are lying or not.”

“You tried to murder me on multiple occasions but here I am trusting you. So, return the favor jackass.”

“Fine, now that you have answered one of my questions, the other one.”

“I can only hold one ability at a time.”

“What about Dazai?”

“Again, what about him?”

“If you touch him, do you have the ‘No Longer Human’ or does he nullify yours?”

“Um…”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t actually know.”

“You haven’t tried that?”

“No. Not really.”

“What do you feel when you are around me?”

What??

An alarm went off in my head. I wondered if he knew that I was having weird thoughts about him, about tearing down his clothes, about running my fingers through his hair-

“You said you feel Rashomon when I’m near you. What does it feel like?”

Oh.. you meant THAT. Phew.

“Well, it’s hard to explain…”

“Try.”

“Jesus, you are so impatient.”

“And you are too fucking slow.”

“Screw you, Edgelord.”

“Answer the question, Peasant.”

“You know what. The deal’s off. I want fuck all from you, I’m just gonna leave!”

I stood up, shoving my chair back with a screech and he flinched. Truth was, I was a bit startled about my own feelings about him, I didn't know why I was getting attracted to this murderer. As I turned, I heard his voice.

“Rashomon.”

And something grabbed my hand. It was Rashomon, biting me slightly on my wrist, I felt her pleading for me not to leave.

Is this him, or Rashomon asking me not to go.

“Sit down.”

He ordered.

So it’s him.

I hadn't turned back yet.

“Sit down, Y/N. Let’s talk.”

He said again. It was the way he pronounced my name, I sank back to the chair with blushing cheeks.

God I hope he thinks it’s from anger.

“Okay, We both went off the rails.”

I sighed, relaxing into the chair.

“Yes. We did.”

He leaned back.

“About what you asked, I can feel any ability user in the close vicinity. The difference with yours is.. Your ability is so powerful I can literally feel it smothering me, calling me, drawing me towards it. I don’t know if Rashomon’s doing it or just that you are way too powerful, but I can feel it- feel her. Can feel what she thinks too.”

“What she thinks?”

“Yes. When she grabbed my hand, I felt her asking me not to leave. When you shoved her back into your coat, I felt her crying. I feel her.”

“That’s.. impossible.”

“Why?”

“Rashomon’s mine. How would you feel her?”

“I don’t know.”

“...”

Akutagawa silently stared at me. I took a sip of my coffee and shrank my face. The coffee was disgusting. I saw him laugh silently at my reaction but quickly swallowing it to keep up his murderous persona.

What a fucking liar.

“Do you feel her too?”

I asked curiously about the relationship Akutagawa had with Rashomon as the owner.

“Yes. But.. not like that.”

“Then?”

“I can feel the beast, whether she’s awake or not, whether she’s going out of control or not, whether she’s obeying my command or not, things like that.”

“Wow. Narcissism at its finest.”

“Rashomon is mine to do whatever I plea-”

Akutagawa started coughing in the middle of the sentence. I grabbed a tissue from the table and handed it to him and he accepted with a small nod.

“Are we done here?”

I asked, after he finished coughing.

“Yes-no. No. Not yet.”

“OooooOkayyh?”

“I don’t know if I have asked you every question I wanna ask.”

“And you expect me to sit here until you rack your brain?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god, yes your highness, I’m your humble fucking servant, fuck you Akutagawa I’m leaving.”

“You are not going anywhere.”

“Watch me.”

“I’ll give you Rashomon, Ten minutes. Stay.”

He ordered me like I was a dog. But I wasn't above considering and bargaining when Rashomon was the price.

“Twenty minutes.”

I proposed.

“No. Ten. Once.”

“Thirty minutes it is.”

I smirked.

“Fine. Twice. Twenty minutes. And you stay until I think of all the questions.”

“Fifteen minutes and I give you my number and you text me the questions.”

“Deal!”

He agreed too fast I would have thought all this was a ruse to get my number. I broke down laughing at the thought. He stared at me, annoyed.

“What’s there to laugh at?”

“Nothing. Just, give me your phone will you?”

He offered me his phone and I entered my number. I dialed it and showed him the call I was receiving from my phone to assure him it was the correct number. He nodded, satisfied.

“Very Well. Do you want her today?”

He asked me, extending his arm. As much as I was tempted, I knew keeping this favor for a rainy day might do me some good. This was something I learned from the time I was out of the orphanage.

“No. You just remember that you owe me 15 minutes.”

“And you will do well to remember that you owe me answers.”

“Got it. Good bye.”

Chapter Text

Akutagawa stared at the recent calls in his phone.

Y/N Dazai.

He had initially planned to use her in his plot for taking revenge from Dazai but after the weirdly energetic conversation he had with her, he wasn't so sure anymore.

He sighed, rolling in the bed, wondering what would be his opening line.

‘Hi’

He typed and erased.

Too lame.

‘How long do you have to touch a person to take his ability?’

He typed and erased.

Too direct?

‘Hi, How long do you have-’

Akutagawa threw the phone away, and groaned into a pillow.

“Stop being a child and text the damn girl.”

Chuuya appeared at his bedroom door, startling him.

“The hell you doing here?”

“I was here for a minute and a half and you were acting like a love-sick moron and I just couldn't bear it anymore.”

“I’m not!”

“Not what?”

“Lovesick!”

“Sure.”

“I’m NOT!”

“Did I object?”

Chuuya smirked.

“Just tell me what to tell her dammit!”

Akutagawa requested, sitting down on his bed. Chuuya came over and sat down beside him. Akutagawa dropped back to the pillow, letting out a long sigh.

“Here.”

Chuuya handed Akutagawa his phone that was thrown away.

“..Took the liberty of texting her on your behalf.”

“YOU WHAT!!!!”

Akutagawa sprung up back again, and he stared at the message that was just sent.

‘It’s Akutagawa. ;)’

“SERIOUSLY! WINK EMOJI?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING M-”

The phone dinged mid-meltdown and Akutagawa stopped himself to check the message received.

“What does it say?”

Chuuya questioned. Akutagawa scoffed, showing him the screen.

‘Oh, hey.’

“Wow, worse than you.”

Chuuya commented.

“What am I supposed to say to this? Oh Hey? oH hEy! Fuck this little brat!”

Akutagawa was going crazy, cursing and muttering under his breath. Chuuya laughed.

“Should I leave you to it?”

He asked.

“No wait. Tell me what to say to this.”

Akutagawa grabbed Chuuya's coat.

“God you are insufferable. It’s like watching third year olds having an affair. Give me the phone.”

“Oh no no no. Not doing that. Just tell me what to type.”

“Fine. I was just thinking of you.”

Chuuya said with a straight face.

“Huh?? Are you stupid!!!! I can’t say that to her!”

“Well, weren't you just thinking of her?”

“NO!”

“What about ‘Remembered you because I saw a dog outside’ then. That’s more like you.”

“Chuuya you take this seriously or I will cut you in half.”

Akutagawa started to fall into his usual way of threatening to get what he wants. Chuuya was not a stranger to this, so he just smirked and cracked his knuckles to indicate that he was taking it seriously.

“Okay, Let’s do this then.”

Akutagawa and I had been texting for a while now and it was mostly about our abilities.

‘What’s the name of your ability?’

He texted me.

‘Weigh Down On Me.’

I texted back knowing very well he was gonna make fun of me.

‘That’s the lamest name I’ve ever heard!’

‘Well, not everybody can have a cool af name like Rashomon. :)’

I knew that narcissist would be brimming with happiness when I said it.

‘When can I see Rashomon?’

I sent a text before he replied. And as all guys, he just replied to that text, ignoring the one before.

Akutagawa: ‘You want to cash in your 15 minutes?’

Me: ‘No. Just wanna see her.’

Akutagawa: ‘That’s not part of the deal.’

Me: ‘Come on Akutagawa, grow a pair. I’m not gonna steal her.’

Akutagawa: ‘It’s not about my pair. You don’t have any claim on her.’

Me: ‘Watch your back then, I’m coming for her. ;)’

Akutagawa: ‘#I’mScaredShitless’

Me: ‘You should be.’

Akutagawa: ‘Btw, if the user dies while you have the ability, does it stay on you forever?’

Me: ‘Wanna find out? Promise I’ll take good care of Rashomon.’

Akutagawa: ‘Fuck You! Maybe you’ll get to try that later.’

Me: ‘What does that mean?’

Akutagawa: ‘You can see her. Tonight.’

He had ignored my last message, but his offer made me forget everything else.

Me: ‘Tonight!?!?!?’

I saw Yuki walking towards me and I turned off the screen but I couldn't hide the smile about possibly getting to touch Rashomon as much as I wanted tonight at wherever he proposes.

“You’re happy about something.”

She sat down beside me. I was at the lunch table.

“Yeah the asshole is texting me.”

“Ooooh, what’s he saying? Swooning over you?”

She started to pick apart her bread and put a piece in her mouth.

“Well he does NOT have any reason to swoon. It’s not like that.”

I deflected, but my mouth went ear to ear when my phone vibrated again.

“Is that him?”

Yuki peeked but I covered the screen.

“Hey! No looking.”

“Come on, show me.”

She kept bugging me until I showed her the last texts Akutagawa sent me.

“Let’s see…”

She adjusted her glasses dramatically.

“No scrolling up!”

I warned, scared that she'd start going through all the conversations about Rashomon.

“What does it say?”

I asked since I also didn't get to see that last message.

“He saysssss.. coffee shop.”

“Huh?”

“Oh my god he’s asking you on a date!”

“WHAT!”

I grabbed the phone and read the last message.

Akutagawa: ‘Same coffee shop. Tonight. 7 PM.’

Akutagawa’s heart skipped a beat when he saw her opening the small door to the coffee shop and the wind chime rang. He tried to relax his shoulder.

“Hey.”

She sat down, grabbing the menu.

“Not gonna drink coffee today. Tea it is.”

She started flipping through the two page menu, front to back and back again.

She’s nervous?

“Tea for me too.”

He sat back in his chair. She nodded. The silence followed after she placed the order and the waitress went away.

“Should I assume you have an ulterior motive to why you asked me here?”

She looked at him. He was thankful for the waitress that came over with their tea so he didn't have to hold her gaze.

“I don’t. I had a thing nearby. So I decided why not.”

“A thing? Murder?”

“Stop assuming everything I do is violent.”

“Says the guy who tried to murder me on multiple occasions”

“I haven’t stopped yet, so don’t tempt me to speed up the process”

“And you tell me not to doubt your chivalrous intents”

“When did I say that?”

Akutagawa frowned, taking a sip of his tea. She smiled brightly, and mirrored his actions. He had started to enjoy these rapid-fire conversations he had with her, it always felt so fun to watch how she threw out comeback after come back, and sometimes he would deliberately say something that would provoke her.

“Finish your drink. I want to meet Rashomon, officially.”

She requested, while gulping down her own tea. Akutagawa ignored the order and continued sipping at his preferred pace. She was tapping the table impatiently. Finally, he saw the bottom of the cup.

“Let’s go.”

He stood up.

“Where?”

“To the park. I can’t whip out the beast here.”

“Didn’t think you cared about public perception of your ability.”

“I don’t. I just don’t want you embarrassing me when you start petting my Rashomon.”

“mY rAshOmOn”

She mocked, standing up with him and following him to the park. Before they even sat down at the empty bench, Rashomon came out, as if she understood the cue. The beast and the girl stared at each other for a while and Akutagawa saw Y/N’s eyes start to water with so much feelings behind them.

Pretty.

“Hello Rashomon..”

She whispered, extending her arm and Rashomon went in, slowly wrapping around her hand.

“God you are so beautiful.. I can feel that you wanna come to me, don’t you?”

Her attention was completely devoted to the black beast that she didn’t see the way Akutagawa blushed. He shook his head to get rid of his nerves that always seemed to invade his mind when he was around her.

“Shall we run away together?”

Her voice brought him back to this world.

“Nobody’s running anywhere with Rashomon. Don’t test your luck.”

He threatened with a harsh voice. She nodded like a kid, that was not the reaction Akutagawa was expecting. He took a good look and saw her reddened cheeks, her heavy eyelids, her shallow breaths, she looked drunk.

“Rashomon, I want you.. How can you not be mine when I feel so… close to you? You feel that too right? Yeah, you do..”

She was baby-talking the beast and Akutagawa knew for a fact that she was not in her right mind right now. He wondered if he should let this go on further, he wasn’t sure what kind of a state she’d end up in, she was looking drunker by the second passed with Rashomon in her embrace.

“I missed you so much.. From the moment I saw you I missed you.. Did you miss me too? Yeah.. Yeah.. Don’t worry we’ll figure out a way.. Rashomon..”

“Okay that’s enough.”

Akutagawa raised his voice, and was about to command the beast to go back in. He stopped when the girl grabbed his coat sleeve.

“Please.. Please don’t take her away. Please.”

He stared at the way she pleaded with teary eyes. His heart was set on fire when he saw the way her lips quivered.

“One more minute, Say your goodbyes.”

He sighed.

“Rashomon.. I’ll see you again I promise. Don’t forget me..”

She was muttering, pressing the beast to her forehead and the minute was up. Akutagawa commanded the beast to go in, he felt the resistance but he was still the owner so the beast obeyed. His heart was scratched when Y/N’s tears fell down from her eyes and rolled on her cheeks, he looked away to hide his distraught.

“Thank you..”

Y/N whispered slowly, and leaned into his shoulder. Akutagawa was startled by her sudden invasion of his personal space, but he remained still. She looked exhausted.

“Yeah well don’t get used to it.”

He changed his tone to match the indifference he was trying to project, but his heart was beating too fast inside his ribcage; he was scared for his own life.

“Guess I’ll leave now.”

She sighed, still not moving from the position she was in. In all honesty, Akutagawa didn’t want her to leave. But he had a reputation to uphold about being an emotionally-unavailable asshole as she might have put it. He clenched his teeth and pushed her away.

“Yeah. This was a one time thing. I’m leaving now. You do whatever you want.”

Chapter Text

“Butterfly, its me.”

Osamu knocked on my door at 1 AM. I opened the door, I had not slept yet.

“Onii-chan?”

“Why are you awake?”

He asked me, coming in. I closed the door.

“Why are YOU awake?”

I avoided answering his question.

“Don’t get smart with me. I couldn't sleep when you were pacing around the room the whole damn night.”

He sat on my bed. I sighed. He was right, I had been walking here and there with a restless mind which was filled with thoughts about Rashomon. I was addicted to her cold, hard to materialize embrace, and I had not eaten or slept after that encounter.

“Where’s your head?”

Osamu asked me again when I didn't reply.

“Hmm? oh ah sorry, I was just agitated.”

“About?”

“Nothing special.”

“You know I can tell when you are lying.”

“It’s nothing Osamu, trust me.”

“Is it about Akutagawa?”

“Ur..”

“So it IS about him. Are you hanging around him?”

“What! no!”

“That answer was too fast.”

“Hmmmmmmmmmmh.”

“You look like you are having withdrawal symptoms. Which could only mean one of two things. Either you are actually doing drugs. Or you started dosing on Rashomon. My money’s on the latter.”

“Fine. Fine. Just that.. I didn't take Rashomon in as an ability. I just touched her. And stayed with her for a while.”

“How long?”

“For like a couple of minutes.”

“Jesus Christ Y/N, do you know how dangerous the port mafia members are! You should not talk to Akutagawa! He tried to kill you!”

“You are one to talk big brother. Port mafia members? I’m not the one getting into bed with one”

I started to walk around the room again.

“What the fuck does that mean?!”

He stood up.

“You think I don’t know who you are dating?”

I asked with a smirk. Osamu looked horrified that his well-guarded secret was out.

“How.. how do you know?”

“Why does it matter? Chuuya Nakahara and you are sneaking off into your secret apartment every Sunday and my three minutes with Rashomon is the issue here?”

“Y/N!”

Osamu yelled my name because he didn't have anything else to say. He was speechless, walking here and there just like me. He finally sighed and sat down.

“Chuuya is not like Akutagawa, little sis. I’ll introduce you two. You’ll see what I mean. Akutagawa is dangerous because he has nothing to lose. He also has a seething hatred for me and I don’t want you to be in the crossfire of that.”

“Osamu, Akutagawa and I aren't friends or even aquaintents. We are just in a mutually beneficial agreement.”

“Y/N when you are restless like a heroin junkie, how do you say it’s beneficial for you?”

Osamu put my feelings into perspective. To be honest, I had thought of this exact same thing but I didn't wanna accept that I might have to completely cut off Rashomon. The way I got swept off my feet when I just touched her was too much and I had no idea what would happen if I just took her in for the 15 minutes I was owed. This was way worse than my addiction before and if that ended up with one death, Rashomon obsession might end in a massacre.

“I see..”

I sank to the floor, hugging my knees and rested my back on the wall. Osamu walked over and imitated my actions.

“You are the only thing I have left to protect, little sis. Don’t make it hard for me.”

He put his arm around me. I wanted to tell him that there's nothing left to protect, I have seen it all when I left the orphanage but for his mental peace I kept my mouth shut.

“Osamu.. I promise.”

I didn't have words to say everything else I wanted to, and he hugged me letting me break down crying in front of him for the first time. I could not keep the flood gates shut, pain was pouring out of me for many different reasons.

“Delete his number.”

Osamu started caressing my hair and I nodded crawling more into his hands.

“Yes brother.”

“Good girl, butterfly.”

“Okay, lay it on me, what’s wrong?”

Chuuya sighed, sitting down next to Akutagawa at headquarters of Port Mafia. Akutagawa was brooding in a corner for an hour and a half now, thinking of all the what ifs and could have beens.

“I met her last week.”

Akutagawa rubbed his forehead.

“Uh-huh?”

“Yeah. Gave her a solid three minutes with Rashomon and Now she’s not responding to my texts.”

Akutagawa gave Chuuya a brief on the latest incidents. He also mentioned about the seeming overdose she was having in the precense of Rashomon.

“And you miss her?”

He kept quiet when Chuuya asked since he didn't have an answer to give. Instead he gave the alternative answer.

“Feels like Rashomon is weakening. I know it in my bones that it’s just Rashomon wanting to get to Y/N and I’m so confused as to how the fuck the beast can be depressed.”

“Did you call her?”

Chuuya asked.

“Yeah Once.”

“No answer?”

“none.”

“Call Dazai.”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Tried that. Hung up on me.”

Chuuya laughed.

“Yeah, laugh at my distress. That’ll earn you a seat in heaven.”

“Stop being so melodramatic, Akutagawa. You know where she works so go haunt her ass.”

“Don’t want to, why would I do it when she is making a point by ignoring me.”

“Why the fuck are you ignoring me?”

I was walking down the street after work when I heard from the side of the road. Knowing what awaited me I fastened my steps but Akutagawa caught me and fell into steps with me.

“Answer the question, Y/N”

I stopped in a less crowded area. I felt that Rashomon was also activated, and she was coming for me but I took a step back.

“I don’t want anything to do with you or the beast anymore.”

I said with a cracking voice. Akutagawa looked like he was so disappointed in me and my cowardice.

“This is not just about you now. Rashomon needs you.”

“I don’t need it.”

“HER!”

Akutagawa corrected me, with a demanding voice. I took another step back.

“Akutagawa, you saw what happened. I shouldn't be doing anything with you and your ability.”

“Did Dazai put you up to this?”

He asked me as if he had read my mind. I was already weak in the presence of Rashomon.

“No.”

“He told you to stop, didn't he?”

“No.”

“Dazai IS the cause of all of this, I’m gonna k-”

“Stop it, Akutagawa. I’m perfectly capable of making decisions on my own.”

I urged him to stop.

“I know you, You can’t stop seeing Rashomon even if your life depended upon it.”

He reached to grab my shoulder, or my hair, but I took another couple of steps back.

“You don’t know me. I have my reasons.”

I protested to him making assumptions about me based on a handful of meetings between us from which half of it were him trying to kill me. Just to confirm what I thought of him was true, he grabbed me and shoved me into a wall and pinned me.

“Listen little shit, this isn't about you anymore. You fucked up a lot of things and now you are gonna fix it. You don’t want Rashomon? Fine. But if Rashomon wants you, I will fucking freeze you up and keep you forever in my fucking basement because Rashomon is mine. And you are..”

His voice trailed off as he stared, as Rashomon slowly crept up and wrapped around me, as an unplanned moaning gasp escaped my mouth.

“Rashomon..h..”

My eyes closed on their own as the beast started to travel on all my exposed skin, my face, neck, collarbones and arms. I was getting hit by the euphoric wave of intoxication, I grabbed Akutagawa’s sleeve to stay in this world and control myself.

“Akutagawa.. stop..”

My lips didn't want to partake in those words I uttered. Seemed as if he didn't hear, he was not even trying to control the beast, he was.. he was.. leaning in. While Rashomon slithered, I felt Akutagawa’s hand on my necks, the blaring alarms in my head got louder but I didn't miss how soft his touch was than I expected. He wasn't trying to kill me, he was tryana kiss me instead.

“Ryunosuke.. My first name is Ryunosuke, Y/N..”

He whispered inches away from my face. When the exasperated breath hit my face I remembered a distant memory of my ex girlfriend’s breath brushing on my cheek as I kissed her goodbye. It was the last time I had kissed anybody - well except that time with Osamu but in my head I was kissing Akutagawa - and I killed the last person I kissed. A kill wasn't a new thing for me but.. killing a person you care for was a different kind of a monstrosity that I hadn't gotten used to just yet. Wait, Do I care about Akutagawa Ryunosuke?

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!”

I shoved away the beast and the guy that was covering me.

“Wh-”

“SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE OR ELSE I SWEAR TO GOD AKUTAGAWA, YOU WILL REGRET IT! LEAVE!!!!! LEAVE! Please.. leave…”

He stared as I broke down, covering my face with my palms.

“Fine. Reply to my messages. I want my answers. I will leave you alone for now.”

He left.

Chapter Text

“I want a favor from you, puppy”

On a mildly hot evening, Dazai said to his lover, caressing his hair. Chuuya looked up from Dazai’s lap.

“That doesn’t sound great.”

“And how did you conclude that?”

“You always call me dog related nick names when your favor is gonna cost me a limb and when I have no choice.”

Dazai laughed, pushing his thumb into Chuuya’s mouth. The redhead moved his tongue around it sloppily.

“I want you to take in my sister for a couple of weeks.”

“Why wu yu wan-” Chuuya pulled Dazai’s finger out. “Why do you want that?”

“I have some things to take care of. Hunting dogs are probably gonna be chasing my tail. Dostoevsky is also creeping in for the win. Need to do something before the situation becomes a dumpster fire. But for that, I can’t have her roaming around. She might become a target. So.. can you?”

“I’d rather not babysit.”

“Y/N’s going to be your sister-in-law, Nakahara. It’s your responsibility.”

Dazai ran his fingers inside Chuuya’s tight choker to amplify the effect. Chuuya sighed and stopped in the middle.

“Did you just- nonchalantly propose to me?”

“Huh?”

“Y/N’s gonna be my Sister-in-law? Was that your way of proposing to me, dipshit?”

Chuuya threw Dazai’s hand away and stood up from the bed.

“WHAT! NO!”

Dazai got on his feet at the same speed, before continuing-

“..no. It wasn’t me proposing. This is.”

Dazai dropped to his knees with his right hand diving into his pocket.

An unfamiliar knock came at the door. Since Osamu was not at home, I was extra careful, opening the door with a knife hidden behind my back. Paranoia was not the word I’d use to describe my behavior, since I have been on the other side of this scenario, knocking on doors to kill people, but that’s a story for another time, another day, another chapter.

I opened the door to find the redhead that I haven’t officially met standing outside.

“Good that you are home. I’m-”

“Chuuya Nakahara, I know.”

“Very well, get your things. It’s an emergency. Let’s go. Save the small talk for later.”

He came in as if it was usual practice and I raised an eyebrow at my brother’s secret lover.

Wonder if he knows that I know. Meh, Osamu probably has told him.

“Chop chop!”

He clapped in front of my face to indicate urgency but I didn’t know why. He sighed and started to explain when he didn’t get the expected reaction from me.

“Your brother told me to get you and keep you safe. So you are staying with me for a while. Can you start packing?”

“What! No! Where is he?”

I finally found the words.

“In jail.”

And he stole them back.

JAIL!!!!!

“Not just any jail. He is in Meursault. The most fucking secure detention centre for ability users.”

Chuuya Nakahara kept explaining while shoving things that he thought were important into a backpack.

“THE WHAT!”

I still hadn’t fully grasped the situation.

“Good god little sis, what part of its an emergency you don’t understand? We do NOT have the time. I’ll explain everything in the car. Let’s go.”

—-

“One last question. When and how did you and my brother… you know… you two-”

“Started dating?”

We were walking to the elevator from the garage and Chuuya had explained everything that happened to Osamu. He told me to not worry and I agreed, Osamu always had a plan and he probably would not have started not having one now with me out in the world. He took the responsibility of caring for me way too seriously.

Chuuya started to Once-upon-a-Time the love story of him and my big brother.

“It had been… two years or so. After Dazai left the Mafia, one day he showed up at my doorstep, drunk - and if you ask him he’ll say it was me who showed up at his doorstep drunk and wet but it was him. - he was shivering in the cold, with a bottle of whiskey in his hands and when I opened the door he said.. ‘if I’m no longer human and neither are you, then I’m allowed to kiss you’ and he just.. urrhm..”

“OkayokayIgotiT”

I hissed, not wanting to imagine that ‘romantic’ confession of love. Chuuya showed me to a room and left to take a shower, leaving me to unpack or take a tour of the apartment by myself. He didn't seem too concerned about me wandering around his home.

I was studying the complicated remote controller of the gigantic home theater system when the main door opened once again. The guy who came through stared at me while I did the same, his black coat becoming alive and eager to greet me.

Ryunosuke Akutagawa.

“CHUUYA!”

We both shouted at the same time, arming ourselves, me with a brass candlestick that was nearby, him with a pistol he apparently kept in a hollister around his waist.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!?!”

The gun clicked as he asked. His anger probably was more seething because I hadn't replied to his messages after the last time we met, after he asked me to reply.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

I repeated the question even though I knew the answer. Chuuya Nakahara and Akutagawa were colleagues and friends.

“I asked first!”

He took a couple of steps and stopped.

“Put down the stupid gun.”

It was Chuuya coming from the back of the house, incapacitating both of us with his overwhelming gravity power. He gave me a look both commanding and pleading, requesting me to keep his secret. My brother’s secret.

“She is Dazai’s sister. I’m sure he asked you of a favor to save the ware-tiger as well. This is the same.”

Chuuya said to Akutagawa and released him from the invisible hold. Seemed like the answer satisfied Akutagawa. I nodded, not knowing whatever else to do.

“Okay so I gotta go break your brother out of jail. Meanwhile I expect you two to behave. I don’t want Dazai up my ass about this..” Chuuya pointed at me and then Akutagawa. “.. So I expect it to be a secret too. Think you two children can handle it?”

We both nodded at the redhead and he left.

—-

“Why aren’t you drooling over Chuuya?”

Akutagawa asked me while we were sitting on the corners of a long sofa, munching on a bowl of smoked almonds Chuuya had left.

“What kinda weird question is that?”

I rolled my eyes. He’s gay, and probably soon to be my brother-in-law.

“You love people with strong powers, don’t you? And Chuuya is the most powerful. And then its me.”

Akutagawa threw an almond at me and I caught it.

“If you really wanna get your dick measured and compared, my brother is the most powerful. Not either one of you.”

I put the almond in my mouth.

“Just one bullet and your brother goes six feet underground. His dick isn’t that long.”

Akutagawa smirked while I turned a bright shaded of red from the awkwardness.

“Yeah I really don’t wanna talk about my brother’s dick.”

“You started it but very well. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room then.”

He proposed.

“Mmm?”

I pretended not to know and he indulged me.

“You haven’t replied to my messages. Didn’t answer my calls. Rashomon is missing you and I don’t know how to cure that.”

“I just.. I don’t want to be an addict, Ryunosuke.”

I stared at a little imperfection of the wooden coffee table. One minute of silence passed. Rashomon slowly creeped and I wasn’t strong willed enough to refuse. I reached to her, and she started wrapping around my arms immediately, tugging me towards her.. Towards her owner as well.

It was like every other time. It was like I had never felt something so magical and enchanting.

“Rashomon.. Rashomon please come to me..”

I crawled towards the source of her, high out of my mind only to find Akutagawa’s grey eyes staring at me through the tendrils and tentacles. Rashomon was everywhere on my skin, my left fist was curled up on the fabric of the coat, Ryunosuke’s breath was kissing me on my lips because he still hadn’t. But before he did, the door opened once again, it was a horde of vampires.

“RUN!”

Chapter Text

They have been running for a while but still the vampires seemed to be persistent. Akutagawa wanted to focus and fight but the girl who was constantly shouting didn't help at all.

“WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY CHASING US IF THEY CAME TO GET TO CHUUYA!!??”

She was screaming beside him.

“I MAY HAVE PISSED OFF THAT FUKUCHI GUY!”

Akutagawa yelled back. He felt his lungs starting to warn him.

“YOU WHAT! WHY??!”

“BECAUSE YOUR STUPID FUCKING BROTHER GAVE ME A JOB!”

“MY BROTHER ISN'T STUPID. BUT I’LL KILL HIM IF THESE FUCKERS TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE!”

“GOOD THINKING. KEEP RUNNING. DO NOT, FOR ANY REASON, STOP!”

Akutagawa yelled once more and stopped dead in his tracks. He turned with Rashomon looming over him because he knew he could not run anymore. He wanted to give her a chance to escape.

Why do I need to protect her?

Akutagawa didn't have time to be confused about his feelings, he wasn't even sure if he’d get to receive the thanks for it, he knew he’d probably die at the end of his one man encounter against this vampire armada.

And he commanded his beast.

“RASHOMON, ATTACK!”

—-

“AKUTAGAWA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”

She had finally realized he wasn't right behind her. By that time, Akutagawa was barely hanging on, exhausted and wounded in a moment that felt like forever but it had only been half a minute. The vampires were overwhelming in numbers and they were out to kill.

“YOU IDIOT!!!”

She was screaming, running towards him.

“Stay where you are, Y/N! Don’t! DON’T!!”

His cracking voice was getting lost in his ears. He tried to stop her from reaching them, in his attempt his attention slipped and one of them pounced at him. He was falling and he extended his arm towards the girl that was running to him. One last warning to tell her to stop, but she didn’t. And everything went black.

“You okay?”

I looked up, from the dark corner I was sitting in while he lay in bed. Ryunosuke groaned, trying to steady himself and sit.

“Come closer, I can’t freaking see anything in this dark room.”

His usual assholary has returned not a moment later. Even though I was tempted to comply, I forced myself not to. I was a danger to him right about now.

“What happened?”

He asked again. I didn’t know whether I should tell him.

“Answer my questions at least when I’m in front of you, Dazai”

He used my last name, and I remembered that he used my first name when he sank into his knees a couple of hours earlier. When he was trying to protect me from those vampires. I didn’t know why he did that, and it was a confusing, guilt ridden feeling that I detested with my entire being. But it wasn’t what I hated the most, it wasn’t the reason why I was hiding in a dark corner not facing him right now.

“You are fine, Ryunosuke. That’s all you need to know.”

I said in a low voice, hugging my knees.

“No. I need to know how I’m fine. They were at my fucking throat. I should not have survived and come out of it.”

“Well, I saved your ass.”

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

“It doesn’t.”

“You took her, don’t you?”

I gasped when he asked, not because I was shocked, I knew he was going to figure it out sooner or later, I gasped because of the memories: the utter bliss of having her and the utter devastation of not having her was coexisting in my simple brain trying to one up each other and force my brain cells into a singularity.

Rashomon…

“Yes..” I said in the smallest voice I possessed. Then the silence followed.

After fifteen minutes of cold treatment to the air between us, Akutagawa finally spoke up.

“So, how was it?”

He was getting down from the bed, swaying, and my instincts screamed at me to go help but I shrank more and more into my corner.

“Sometimes you run your mouth like a bloody rollercoaster and you can’t manage a single ‘awesome’ or a ‘good’ or a ‘I’ve had better’ right now?”

He finally towered over me. I looked up but avoided his eyes. He might have seen my desperation, the way my fingers shaking, my lips dry and my eyes red. I kept my hands locked under my knees.

“Get up!”

He ordered. I flinched.

“Stop being pathetic. If you want her, fight me for it. Why fight yourself?”

“If we fight and I win, you’d- you’d let me have her?”

I asked in my pathetic state, in my pathetic voice.

“No. But you’ll have an excuse to sulk after you give it your all and fail.”

The conversation went back and forth without a conclusion. And he asked the golden question once again.

“How did it feel to control her?”

“Transcending.” I sighed.

“Elaborate.”

“The moment I touched your extended arm, she came to me. It was like a train hitting you in the face but in the best way possible. Like I was losing myself, but was finding something more at the same time. Like I was ascending. Like it was meant to be. And I knew I had to fight off those vampires and I didn't even have to tell her what to do. She knew exactly what I was thinking. She was an extension of me and I was so good at it from the very first moment. I demolished the fuckers in an instance like it was nothing and I took you and I ran here to our house.”

“How long ago was this?”

He sat down in front of me on the floor and asked me, looking into my eyes. A truthful answer to that question was going to reveal another secret that I didn't want him to know. But his eyes were too intense. And I was weak.

God, Yukichi will be so disappointed.

“T..two hours ago.”

I stuttered. Akutagawa hummed.

“Hmmm.. So how many more times?”

“Twice-twice more.”

He touched his neck, where the scratch marks of my nails were.

“Seemed like you did more than just touch my arm to absorb Rashomon. Which time did you scraped her out of my neck?”

“Second time.”

“Where were we?”

“On the bed.”

He snorted, before pulling me close with my collar. I was powerless against it. He was staring into my soul, to decipher my selfish intentions and let me go. And then he just stood up and left me without a word.

—--

Week later.

‘Did your brother come home?’

Ryunosuke’s first text after our last encounter was about my brother. I rolled my eyes. I had started feeling a bit better and less addict-like only after 3 days of not seeing Rashomon. I had occupied myself with the training I had let go from my past to keep myself busy and sweat out the reminiscences of her from my body.

‘Yeah. He’s at his job now.’

I replied.

Ryunosuke: There's something I have to tell you.

Me: Mm?

Ryunosuke: I dreamt of Rashomon. She asked me about you.

Me: Oh?

Ryunosuke: Yeah. Told me it was so fucking good to be inside of you. That it felt different.

Me: Just realizing Rashomon almost sounds like an innuendo for your cock.

Ryunosuke: In that case.. next time you want her, you suck it out with your mouth.

Me: tf?!

I was on my bed, and I almost fell out of it by the idea of him flirting so blatantly and vulgarly with me, even though I started it. And after that initial shock I also realized, I quite enjoyed that. In between our weird little fights and encounters, I had discovered some soft spot in my heart for that pale skinned weirdo and his murderous intentions.

Ryunosuke: Just what I said.

Me: Looking forward to it. ;)

A minute passed without a reply and I wondered if I had scared him off by flirting back. The sadness started to settle in but my heart jumped when my phone vibrated.

Fuck, I had become hopeless against his non-existent charms.

Ryunosuke: Hope you won’t become addicted. Don’t think you can handle two addictions.

Me: You think too highly of yourself, Ryunosuke. Let’s hope YOU won’t get addicted cause your beast already is.

Ryunosuke: Ego runs in your family, doesn't it? Wanna come over so I can pry it out?

Me: Depends.

Ryunosuke: On?

Me: On which beast are you using to subdue me.
…
…
…
Ryunosuke didn't reply to me for the rest of the night.

Chapter Text

“Chuuya is picking you up.”

The next morning Osamu told me while I was sitting down for breakfast. I didn’t know what he was talking about, I didn’t have any plans with Chuuya Nakahara.

“What, he can't choose a mermaid dress for the wedding by himself?”

I had been teasing him nonstop from the moment that I got to know the proposal happened.

“No. That’s next saturday.”

Osamu reciprocated my sarcasm as always.

“Then..?”

“He said he wanted to hang out with you, get to know you, have a day out of it.”

“Ooookay.. What should I wear?”

“Your call.”

—-

“Have something to tell you but you cannot freak out.”

Chuuya told me while we were driving away.

“Did you see a dream too?”

I was referring to the conversation me and Akutagawa had last night through texts before that jerk stopped responding to me.

Stupid fucking idiot.

Chuuya ignored my question and continued.

“What? Anyway, I’m taking you to the hospital. Akutagawa was admitted last night and I know you tw-”

“WHAT!”

My heart skipped a thousand beats.

“He’s.. I know you two have gotten close. And I haven’t told your brother yet cause I wanted to give you a chance to.. to say whatever YOU have to say to him before it’s too late. I know Dazai wouldn't let you go.”

I was speechless. My lips were quivering and the words were getting lost in the middle.

What does he mean before its too late?

As of he had read my mind, Chuuya started to explain.

“You probably don’t know.. I guess a lot of people don’t know that Akutagawa has been dying. His lungs.. are giving up. There's nothing anybody can do.”

“Wha…wha-”

I think I was having a panic attack. My chest was locked in and I could hear my own breathing, if it was not for the seatbelt, I might have been sinking to the floor of the car right about now. Chuuya grabbed my arm but didn't do anything else, didn't say anything else either. He just let me process it on my own.

“Is he.. has he.. Did he ask for me?”

I finally managed to talk and the first thing I asked was utterly selfish but I couldn't stop myself.

“I’m sorry little sis, he is not conscious. That’s why I emphasized the ‘you’ in ‘whatever you have to say to him’. I really am sorry.”

“...no..”

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. I couldn't accept the truth. Why was my nemesis.. dying? If he does die, what would happen to our little quarrel? What would happen to Rashomon? What would happen to me?

—-

“Who is she?”

A dark haired girl asked Chuuya when we entered the hospital room. Ryunosuke was lying on the bed, surrounded by the sounds of monitors beeping, his coat hanging lifeless on a nearby hook, I couldn't feel the presence of Rashomon. The image was breaking my heart.

“She’s.. your brother's friend. Let’s let them have a moment.”

Chuuya dragged the girl away, ignoring her protest. I was left to deal with my emotions while I slowly walked towards the unconscious man. When I saw his even paler skin and the slow humid build-up on his oxygen mask that rose and fell slowly with each dying breath he was taking, I realized I didn't have any more strength left to hide. I fell to my knees grabbing his cold hand.

“Ryunosuke please..” I pleaded. “I.. I’m sorry this is my fault..”

I started crying, burying my head in the mattress.

“What do you mean it’s your fault?”

It was his sister, who had somehow ditched Chuuya and walked back into the room.

“I uh..”

I stuttered. She walked close and sat next to me and I saw the daggers in her boots.

“Tell me.”

She insisted.

“I.. my ability is to take somebody else's ability. But when I do it.. mostly when I do it over and over again.. the owner of the ability becomes weak. And I did it. Last week. I took Rashomon from him three times. It probably wouldn't have made this much of an impact on a healthy person but.. I’m now only learning about his.. his.. lungs. And I’m so sorry.. so sorry.. oh god.”

I was sobbing again. The girl who died was flashing before my eyes, my lover.. my darling little goddess that said it was okay for us to share her power and what got her killed because I was a curse that didn't know it yet. And this time I didn't the same fucking thing, even after I learned my lesson.

“Fix it then.”

I heard her say. Not the ghost of my ex girlfriend that I was seeing, Ryunosuke’s little sister.

I stared at her, with my glossy red eyes.

“You said it was your fault. I don’t think you are strong enough to steal my brother's powers if he didn't want you to. But still if it’s your fault, then fix it or else I swear to god you kleptomaniac bitch, I will hunt you down and cut you into slices and send to your older brother to make Sushi.”

She rubbed over one of her daggers. I was emotionless towards the death threat. But it gave me a moment of clarity and I just thought of a plan.

“You’re right. I need to fix this. I gotta go.”

I started running, I knew what I had to do to save him.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING!”

Ryunosuke’s sister yelled after me.

“TO FIND A DOCTOR. KEEP HIM ALIVE UNTIL I GET BACK!”

—---

“Well look who it is.”

Scott opened the door and gave me a disapproving look as if he had been expecting me but he’d rather a hellhound showed up at his doorstep.

“Hello Dad.”

I tried to sound normal.

“You and my daughter never got engaged. So unless you wanna talk necrophilia, let’s stick to names, shall we? What do you want?”

He still hadn't opened the door enough to let me in. Walter Scott was the father of my dead girlfriend and he was a doctor who could save people from the brink of death. But he had his weaknesses. He could only save those who had no relation to him, by blood or by law. Which is why Sophia (my girlfriend) and Charlotte (my girlfriend’s mom) were not alive.

“I want.. your help to save someone.”

I said. He closed the door to my face. I sighed, before starting to bang on the door again for full five minutes until he finally opened the door again.

“Please. Just this once. Please Scott.”

“And why should I help you?”

“Because.. because it’s my fault.. again.”

He looked at me, almost amused.

“Well well, I got to hear this revision of the story. Come in.”

—

“So you weren't lying when you said it was your fault.”

He smirked as I wiped away my tears after telling him what had happened. I nodded.

“Serves you right. Now get out. I’m not helping you.”

He stood up. I leapt from my seat to grab his leg.

“I cannot do this again. Not this guilt. Please for the love of me, you can just kill me if you aren't gonna help me. I know you always wanted to. Just kill me then.”

He tried to pry me away from his leg but I stubbornly hung on. Revisiting my training for the last couple of days had not let me down. Finally, he groaned, sitting back down.

“This boy, do you like him?”

He asked me. I didn't know what the right answer was to get him to help me so I stayed silent.

“I have already decided to help. Truth will be fine.”

He pulled me up by the collar and threw me to the other side of the sofa he was sitting on.

“I do. I like him yes.”

“As much as you liked Sophia?”

“She was the love of my life. Nobody will take that place in my heart dead or alive.”

“The day I regret the most isn't the day I failed to save her because you sucked the life out of her. It’s the day I met you. You had me fooled with those big eyes of yours. I introduced you to my daughter, Y/N. Because I thought.. that being with you would be good for her. That she’d enjoy life, get out more, stop daydreaming and stay grounded. Guess she really did get grounded. And you think it was your fault but it was mine for letting an abomination like you meet the likes of my daughter. You are an insult to gods and a walking plague. But I’m going to help you.”

He looked away as if he was disgusted by his own decision to help a murderer like me. But I was overwhelmed by the hopes that he gave me. I knew there was a price, there always was but it didn't matter. Ryunosuke was going to be fine.

“Thank you. I have no words t-”

“Sometimes petty revenge eases the heart a bit. Like whiskey on a cold evening. Or the smell of ginger when you are about to throw up. So your condition will be something way too pricey. And as you know, if you break the condition, you will both die. He will die instantly but you.. oh an instant death is too good for you murderer. You will die a slow, painful death knowing this Ryunosuke of yours died because you couldn't keep the promise you made to me. You have this hourglass body right now. It’ll tick tick tick like a clock and wither away and you’ll die..”

He stood up from the sofa.

“What are you, quoting Paramour at me?”

I deflected, trying to get that horrifying image outta my head. But Ryunosuke’s life was more important. And right now.. I would have given anything including myself to save him.

“Sarcasm? Honestly? I thought you might have found a better defense by now.”

—--

3 Hours Later.

“He’ll wake up in an hour or so. And will be good as new but remember your promise, Y/N. You break it, you’ll both die. It’s your penance for killing people by stealing away their abilities. Don’t come looking for me again. He must be pretty important if you came to me for help. Which means, your fingers are probably itching to grab his hands and hug him and express how happy you are that he is okay. I can see it in your eyes. Such pain. What a sweet treat you gave me. Good luck getting over him. Good bye.”

Scott left after dropping his monologue and successfully ripping my heart out.

“What does he mean?”

Gin, Ryunosuke’s sister, was in the corner of the hospital room.

“Doesn’t matter. He’ll be fine. That’s all there is.”

I turned to leave but she blocked my path.

“You will tell me before you leaves or els-”

I swiftly pulled out one of her daggers from the scabbard that was on her waist and kept it to her neck. It was easy, I had always been good with knives even though I had given up on that life for the most part. But still, I wanted to show her that keep threatening me was not going to get her anywhere good with me.

“Threats are useless against an opponent that does not care for the things that you do. But since you are curious, and since you can fill your brother in once he wakes up, I’ll tell you. The guy who healed Ryunosuke was Walter Scott. He can heal anybody but there should be a request. And there is a price. I requested, and I agreed to the price.”

“What is the price?”

I sighed, when the pain started to settle in my heart and reality hit me in the fucking guts and told me to die. My eyes started to water as I handed Gin the dagger back.

“The price.. I can never touch him ever again.”

Chapter Text

“Y/N!!”

Akutagawa accidentally saw her at the water fountain. The moment he saw her, and she him, the beast came out jumping to embrace her.

“Rashomon STOP!!”

She screamed horrified, as Akutagawa pulled Rashomon back before they touched each other. The girl stumbled backwards and fell, and took no effort to get up. Akutagawa slowly walked over to her and knelt in front of her as the crowd walked past them. She sighed, looking up.

“Hi. It’s been a while.”

She smiled painfully. Akutagawa wanted to shove his tongue between that smile and taste the sadness.

“It’s only been three days, you haven’t been replying to me again. I only know what Gin told me. What the hell is the meaning of all this?”

She remained silent.

“Get up. We need to go talk this out somewhere. Get up and follow me. Stay 4 feet behind me and you’ll be fine.”

—-

They were at Akutagawa’s house, sitting across a gigantic dining table. She told him about Walter Scott and the condition of not touching for the rest of their lives and as always, the awkward silence followed. She was staring at the wood of the table.

“Teak?”

She asked.

“Oak.”

Akutagawa replied, tapping the table.

“Nice.”

She said.

“Don’t be stupid. Tell me why the fuck you would do this?”

“Do what?”

“Agree to that kinda stupid condition to save my life.”

“And why’s that stupid?”

“Because you didn’t have to save me. I don’t know what’s going in your head but I don’t fucking owe you anything, Y/N. We were not friends. You even took away the friend that I did have. Don’t know why Chuuya took you to the hospital. Don’t know why Dazai let you come when he is my goddamn enemy.”

“Well then it wouldn’t matter, would it. If we aren’t friends it shouldn’t matter that I cannot touch you. Cause we can just be strangers and we will both live. How does that sound?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Perfect. I’ll leave now.”

“No.”

“What?”

“No. Do NOT take one step from where you are.”

“And why is that?”

“Because.”

“Because what? Thats not an answer. Because you said so? You selfish prick, what was all that talk about prying out my ego? All those times you were inches away from my lips. All those times you couldn’t fucking kill me. Because of WHAT, Ryunosuke? Because of what are you asking me not to leave? Because this fucking house is too big for you? Because you are bo-”

“Because I wanted to fuck you! Wanted to have my cock shoved down your throat instead of a gun. Wanted to have your wrists bound to my bed instead of a chair in an abandoned warehouse. I wanted you to not take another step because I want to IMAGINE all that BECAUSE YOU FUCKING RUINED IT FOR THE BOTH OF US! YOU FUCKED IT UP WHEN YOU SAID YES TO THAT STUPID CONDITION. I WOULDN’T HAVE DIED WITHOUT AT LEAST TASTING YOUR LIPS BUT YOU JUST COULDN’T WAIT FOR ME TO COME OUT OF IT MYSELF. YOU WANTED TO SAVE ME. YOU WANTED TO BE THE HERO. YOU-”

“YOU WERE DYING YOU MANIAC. WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WAIT!”

“WELL I’M SORRY FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE!”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rashomon slammed on the table with a ringing thud to silence the two people screaming at each other. Akutagawa felt himself sweating through his clothes. She looked bright red, her hair a bit messy, her breath heavy and deep, he grabbed the table to control himself. If it was only himself that would be condemned to death, he’d risk it to sink his lips into hers.

“Did you mean it?”

She asked in a low whisper. He stared at her without a care in the world about embarrassment.

“Every, fucking, word”

“That you wanted to- to-”

“Fuck you? Yes. Kiss you? Yes. I want you. But now I can’t.”

“It’s not like you, Ryunosuke.”

“What’s not like me?”

“To say things like that?”

“To be honest, I don’t even know what I am anymore. I owe you my life. My Rashomon is yours. My ability is yours. My friend is yours. My enemy is yours. And my heart is yours, Y/N. You took everything I am and you aren’t giving it back to me and I don’t even want any of it. I just want you but you are everything that I can’t have. Why would you let me live like this? In this hell?”

“Ryunosuke..”

“I know. It’s not your fault. You should go. Yes, but please.. Reply. A text through a screen is the only way I could have you close.”

—-

And I’m sliding my fingers inside of you, slowly first..

I imitated what his message said. I imagined it was his fingers instead of mine that's pushing into me and started moving.

But I’ll go faster when I know you are impatient.

The next message followed.

Faster.

I was texting back with one arm, because my right hand was occupied. We had been sexting for a couple of minutes now, and it might have been fun for a couple of minutes but the constant feeling of its all a lie was just in my head too much I wasn't even sure I’d get to cum tonight.

As fast as you want.

I fastened my fingers, closing my eyes, trying to conjure up his image, Ryunosuke’s eager eyes on me as he fingered me, as he waited for me to explode by his touch. But for some reason I could not imagine. Fuck.

This doesn't work. Let’s just.. stop.

I texted him and started to clean myself up.

What’s wrong?

He replied.

Doesn't matter. You aren't here. It doesn't feel real. This sucks.

I knew that message held little weight when I was the one who did agree to go contactless on Ryunosuke’s skin. But still, it was to save his life. I was torn apart between the ‘I fucked up’ and ‘I did the right thing’ I felt like throwing up. I fell backwards to bed and waited for his reply but he didn't text me again.

—-

I think I might have fallen asleep. I woke up when the door to my room opened with a subtle creek. It was Ryunosuke, signaling me to not freak out. He probably knew my brother wasn't at home or he wouldn't have dared to set foot in the Dazai household.

“What are you doing here?”

I sat down on the bed, crossing my legs. He walked around and stood in front of me without a sound.

“Ryu?”

“That’s a new nickname.”

He said in response.

“What are you doing here?”

I asked, once more.

“Here.”

He threw me a box which was long. While I started to unpack it, he started to explain.

“Since you said that’s not enough, this will be, hopefully. I'm here too. And as you are probably discovering by now, it’s custom made. And it’s mine.”

I pulled out what was inside the box.

What the fuck??? Did he just say this is.. his?????

It was a custom made dildo in the shape of a cock. And I’m not exaggerating when I say, the freaking thing was.. huge.

Akutagawa had already taken the liberty of sitting down in my chair, facing the bed and relaxing. I might have been able to pass for a strawberry right about now. He spoke, with this tone he gets sometimes when he is pissed or when he really needs something done while I stared at the silicone dick in my hand.

“No need to be shy. Now fuck yourself with it.”

Chapter Text

Hi guys, I'm pausing the story here for now. For a while. I'll finish it one day but..
Please if you enjoyed it and want to see more, please let me know.

-Salt (2024 August 7)

Edit.

So I started to continue this story. I'm sorry it took this long. Hope you'll enjoy Part 2.

- Salt (2025 August 31)

Chapter Text

To say that I stared was an understatement of the century. I looked down at the silicon dildo that I was holding, and then back at him, and then back down.

“Wha-what?”

I felt like the time itself stuttered along with my thoughts and my words.

“I’ll tell you what to do.. Use that, do what I tell you.”

He smirked, his voice an octave lower.

“Ryunos-”

“Listen little Dazai- no wait sorry that made me think of your brother. No thanks.”

I chuckled but he continued.

“...Listen Y/N.. I know this isn’t exactly the real thing but frankly, I do not care at this moment. This is the next best thing. So be a good girl, and get rid of those clothes for me will you?”

Holy Shit

My ears rang as a violent blush seeped into my cheeks.

“..Don’t make me repeat myself, Y/N. We have a LOT of things to do and too little time. Come on, shed those panties.”

“Fuck…” I whispered under my breath, fiddling with the hem of my panties.

“Y/N…” This time his voice was more of an impatient warning. I gulped, dragging my underwear down my legs. Before I discarded them, he opened his mouth again.

“Throw.” He extended his arm. I obeyed, gently throwing it into his hands. He took one look at the fabric and gave me a smile again, like I had done something marvelous to please him.

“..I’ve been here exactly 2 minutes and look how ruined you are. This is soaked.”

My heart did the impossible and started beating even faster. This fucker had me by the throat without even laying a finger on me. And he wasn’t wrong, not even one bit. I felt like my body would just lose it and start humping the pillow any minute now. And I winced at my shamelessness. How dare he make me feel this way, when I couldn’t make myself cum not even a hour before.

I saw his throat bob. I felt another order coming and I awaited until it graced myself. Shame be damned, I just wanted relief.

But he waited. He was the one who said we had a little time but he waited as I frustratingly stared at him to spell out what to do. He knew that I was impatient. He knew what he was doing to me. He could see it on my face, the way my breath hitched, the way my chest rise and fell, hell I could see how desperate I was in the mirror. He was still. Silent. Staring.

My body gave up waiting for commands. I was sitting in the bed, my knees bent and tucked under me, so I just rocked my hips. The friction was too good. I rocked myself again and again and again, guttural moans vibrated my throat as my neck arched back.

“Hrrrgh”

“Stop.”

His voice was low. I didn’t stop.

“Stop that you brat!”

Though the voice was low, the command was clearly received this time. I stopped mid motion,

“Spread.”

??? What

Silence rang.

“I said..” He gritted. “Spread your legs and show me. If I’m happy.. If you’re wet enough, I might tell you to use that cock on you.”

So I did as he asked and spread my legs, fully red and shuddering, discovering many things about myself in the process that he seemed to know very well.

“Hmm..”

He leaned slightly on the chair, my underwear still between his fingers, a very visible mound in his pants and eagerness loud in his eyes.

“Good Girl..” He purred. My spine land-slid down my back. “Grab the cock.”

My hand reached for it, my breath and my fingers shook alike.

“I’m tempted to have you suck it but time is of the essence. So rub it on you. Be slow.”

He contradicted himself again. I started to follow his instructions, flustered and avoiding his eyes the best I can, but somehow my vision fixed on him from time to time to see if he was pleased with my performance. I was too lost within myself to object the way I was surrendering my entire being to this man without as much as a warning or buildup.

“Look at me, Y/N.”

He grabbed my attention and held my gaze. With parted lips, and ragged breath I rubbed the silicone cock on my pussy, coating it with the wetness that was pouring out of me, the veins on it visibly making me flutter every time it went over my clit.

“Do it better, baby. We don’t want you hurting when it goes inside, right?”

“Y-yes.. Yes”

I nodded, and he smiled so sweetly at me again, I worried for a moment that I was doing something inappropriate in front of such an innocent act of happiness. But what I was doing was the cause of that smile. I never knew myself to be this much of a people please but by god, I just wanted to see him smile like that again.

“Am I doing okay?”

I asked, needily, hoping of assurance, reinforcements, and complements. I rubbed it all over, slightly grinding over it, moaning, rocking and squeezing one of my breasts over the t shirt.

“Yes my good girl. Perfect.”

My nerves caught on fire with his words. I was yearning. All these feelings I had for him, the pain of not being able to grab and kiss him the moment he got better at the hospital, the need to complete every almost kiss that we shared, they were flooding my mind. I closed my eyes to imaging his body attached to the cock that was rubbing between my thighs. It felt real this time, so real that it overwhelmed my senses. My sensitive skin registered the slightest details on the silicone, the veins and the head, and how it was slightly curved.

“Ryu…” I whined. I wanted to push it into me and ride on it so badly that all rational thoughts started pushing daisies and left me in a garden full of flowers. In the middle of it, I was desperately rubbing myself on a custom made silicone cock.

“Yes..?” He asked.

“Can I fuck it?..” I pleaded.

“Only if you ask nicely, baby.”

“I did…h” I continued to whine, waiting for my permission.

“I didn’t feel like you were desperate enough though”

I exhaled through my mouth. “Please… Please Ryu.. I want it so bad, I want you so bad..”

“Be filthier.. I like it when you’re filthy. Remember that for the future.”

“Please.. God.. I wanna feel this cock inside of me tearing me apart. I’ll ride you until my knees give up, Ryu please.. Let me fuck your cock..”

“Okay.. you can do that.”

I pressed it in before he even finished the entire sentence. I think that caught him off guard because of the low noise that he made, half swear, half moan. But I didn’t care when it sank into me, breaking me apart when I used the weight of my entire body to sit on the cock. It sent electricity through my spine and ribs, I heard my brain ringing alarms, my thoughts screaming me to slow down as I started feeling fuller and fuller until I could not breath right. Something was caught in my throat, maybe a moan. I was looking up but all I could see was the stars as my eyes rolled back. Only oxygen my heart was getting were through my ragged breaths. My toes were curled, my thighs supported my entire body, tears rolled down my eyes.

“You okay?” He finally asked and I realized I had been in that position, sitting on his cock like a broken statue for a solid sixty seconds.

“Yes..”

“Feels good?”

“So good.. So full..”

“Good..”

“Lay back. Use your hands. Don’t have to ride it just yet, hmm?”

It sounded like he was worried for my lack of self preservation. But the truth was death also be damned, I didn’t care for anything else but cumming. It had been so fucking long since I had allowed myself to do this and all the floodgates that were closed opened up.

So I did. I rode this silicone piece of monster anatomy like my life depended on it. My eyes never darted back to him, it was fixed on a dot of the top of the wall in front of me, my skirt was pooling at my waist, all the slippery, dirty, lewd noises of the cock drilling into me was coated in the moans that I made.

“Ryu.. oh god.. God.. fuck.. Yes….yess…”

I moaned. Again and again. Every time I dipped into it, every time it impaled me I moaned. It was tearing me open on the inside. It was hitting a godforsaken wall inside like it wanted to burrow even deeper but couldn’t. I imagined it throbbing inside and it felt so real with the way my walls were clenching and spasming around it.

“Rub your clit.”

His voice came to me like it was coming through a dream. But I obeyed. The pleasure ramped up so much my moaned morphed into screams.

“Shit.. fuck.. Ryu that feels so good..”

“That’s my girl.. Can you go faster? It’ll feel good I promise”

He had fully accepted that this was how I was gonna unravel. There was no laying back and taking it slow and steady. I was spread open like a slut with nothing to lose and he went with it.

I fastened my motions.

“Oh… fuck..”

I could feel my whole body tighten. A drop of drool I didn’t care about made its way down my jaw. My lips were wet, my eyes were blurry, and my throat hurt from all the guttural moans this cock dragged out of me. My toes were curling inside. My teeth were clenching and unclenching. The heat in me was building up and rising, my forehead felt damped. Hairs were clinging and I was crying involuntarily from all the sensations that I had no idea how to interpret. The thought of him watching, with his actual cock throbbing inside of his pants had me leaking. How can it be this exhilarating to know that I was on full display, shamelessly riding a dildo that was on the exact shape of the guy watching. It felt degrading. It felt insanely good. It felt like fireworks exploding inside of my cells. If I didn't let go now, if I kept this up, I might end up dead.

“Cum for me good girl.. You’ve done enough now.”

“Oh.. god.. Yes please..”

I muttered, fastening my hand on my clit and suddenly the knot in my stomach was released with the intensity of a taut violin string that was waiting to snap.

“Ryu…!”

I screamed yanking myself out of the cock, stumbling backwards and falling to bed while my thighs spasmed uncontrollably.

“Oh.. god.. God.. fuck…”

I cursed, panting while my thighs still shook. The blush that was on my face was for a different reason now, I just rode Ryunosuke Akutagawa’s cock like a whore, soaking it, like there was no tomorrow, like his cock was the only thing that mattered, begged him so many times like he was the owner of my pussy while I could have done anything I liked because it was physically impossible to stop me. And now, I’m collapsed on the bed, spread open with wetness glistening on my pussy and my thighs, the used cock somewhere between my legs, my hole spasming on full display. It was embarrassing. I couldn’t lift my head up to look at him so I threw my hand over my face.

“Such a good performance for me..”

I heard him say, amusement mixed into every word he spoke.

“Shut up..”

I whispered.

“Why? I was just admiring.”

“Akutagawa I’m serious. Shut up.”

“No. And use my first name. We aren’t strangers after all that, are we?”

“Oh then what are we?”

The question left my mouth before I even thought of stopping myself. I was too spent to think straight until that point but now I was fully alert.

“What are we?”

He repeated my question. I straightened my back and sat up, still avoiding his eyes.

“You don’t have to answer that. I was just being stupid.”

He was silent. His eyes scanned my thighs that were now covered barely with my skirt. He seemed disappointed that the show ended.

“We’ll have that conversation when I’m thinking straight.” He finally uttered in a low voice. “Right now I have to go and do something about this.”

That finally got me to look at him. He guided my gaze towards his crotch, I could see that he was painfully hard and straining against his pants. I sighed, realizing I have no such thing as self-respect left.

“You could stay and do something about it here.”

I muttered in an equally low voice, half hoping he wouldn’t hear me. He chuckled deep. Fuck me that turned me on again.

“I wish, Baby..”

Baby.. he said baby..

“..But I don’t want your brother to interrupt when I have my dick in my hand. Besides.. I know you have a lot to think, about.. You know.. Everything.”

And he was right. Something that was on the very TOP of that list is how different he was for the entire time he was here. He was ordering me around like a telekinesis child with a ragdoll, telling me what to do, domming me with only words. And I didn’t expect it. And I didn’t expect to enjoy it. So yes, I had a LOT to think about.

“Did you like it?”

He asked, standing up from the chair, pulling down the fabric of his pants.

“Like what?” I questioned.

“All of it?”

I blushed. I didn’t wanna say that I did.

“You did. Good Girl. We’ll do it again soon.”

He said without me having to say a single word because my stupid fucking face betrayed myself.

“Clean that and keep it. Cost me a fortune.”

He pointed at the dildo. I nodded, lips pressed, cheeks red, ego bruised and dying on the floor. He sounded so freaking amused that I wanted to strangle him.

“I’m leaving.”

I nodded again as he opened the door to leave the room. I didn’t look up, I was still biting my lips when I remembered that I was sitting there panty-less.

“Wait Ryu my und-”

But he was already gone.

Chapter Text

“Holy shit.. shit.. holy.. shit..”

Akutagawa stumbled his way through the living room, breathing ragged like a wounded animal looking for a safe place to die. Die in this case meant something else entirely.

“Fuck..h”

He fell to the bed, barely switching on the fan to ease his sweaty skin, still clutching her underwear that he took all the way from her place to here. He thought he was possessed because it didn't make any sense what he just did.

Commanding her to use that toy like he was some hedonic demon of pleasure, it was entirely out of character for him. But one thing screamed loudly in his head. She needed that. She needed him close, she was desperately clawing at destiny, screaming at fate to feel him. Even when she didn’t tell him word by word, he knew she was starved for his touch and dying under the weight of desire and loneliness alike. That’s why he did what he did. No matter how strange it was, he would even lick the salt off the entire ocean if she needed him to.

But damn, right now, his body was screaming for the same release that he gave her. He was in pain. He unbuttoned his pants and pushed it halfway down his legs, there was no time to do anything completely, all he wanted was to touch himself.

“Oh.. god.. Fuck..”

He gasped when his hand rubbed down the entire length of his cock, the spilled out precum perfectly lubricating to create the perfect… perfect sensation.

“Y/N… What you do to me..”

He moaned, rubbing harder, twisting and clenching his fist. He rubbed his thumb over the head of his cock and an electrical jolt shot through his veins. Cursing, he grabbed the little lace panty that was on his free hand and wrapped it around his cock.

“Oh.. yes..”

He moaned at an imaginary Honey-eyed girl that was sitting at the edge of the bed, watching his every intent and motion.

“Y/N.. Yes..”

His moans grew louder, even louder when he realize there was nobody to listen. His blurred mind played his memories on a loop at how wrecked she looked after her climax. The wet lips, the little beads of saliva running down her puckered mouth, he craved for it to be wrapped around his cock right about now. The thoughts fluttered. His heart danced on the lines of pleasure and pain. He had her, right at the edge of his mind but he couldn’t have her anywhere else. As if the gods pitied him for his worsened fate, every time he thought of how death would become them if he touched her soft skin, the sensations intensified. Every time he rubbed, his body caught on fire. Every time his thumb graced over the tip, his heart made an earthquake. Every time the fan made a slight gush of wind that cooled the smeared precum on his lower stomach, lightning made a storm in his nerves.

And all of it was gathering into one singular knot down his body. Ready to explode.

“Y/N… Little brat.. You’re ruining me..”

He prayed to the ceiling, high out of his mind, euphoria rushing in to wash him over with sin.

“Yes… fuckk..! Fuck!.. Fuck…ing hell..”

He cursed as he came, spilling into the fabric of her underwear. His eyelids fluttered as he coaxed himself through the orgasm to ride it as long as possible. His pumped up chest finally gave up with the air in his lungs leaving, and his arched back straightened when he fell back to the bed.

—--

Akutagawa wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep. He remembered stumbling again trying to make his way to the washroom to clean himself up. But that’s about it. When he woke up, he was in bed again, in a clean pair of pants, he could see the washed panties on the towel rack in the washroom through the door that he had forgotten to close.

“You in here?”

His attention was stolen by the voice that came from his living room. It was Chuuya, using his “emergency only” extra key to barge in unannounced.

Could have caught a real show if you came an hour early you bastard.

Akutagawa groaned, pushing himself out of the bed.

“In here..”

He called to the living room, while slowly walking to close the washroom door. Chuuya entered just as he did.

“Woah, fuck.. You look like shit.”

Chuuya commented, plopping down to the bed, taking off his hat.

“Yeah well I feel like shit.”

Akutagawa rolled his eyes, pouring himself a cup of water from the decanter.

“Is it about Dazai’s sister?”

“Nothing gets past you, does it?”

“Sarcasm will get you nowhere. So, what? No progress?”

“What does progress even mean when I can’t even touch her.”

“Dude.. I know.. That’s rough..”

“Shut up.. You don’t even know.. The thing is I don’t even understand why this is such a big deal for me. Obviously its a big deal for her, she is a girl. Her whole thing is about touch. Hell, her power is about touch. But me? I don’t care about silly things like that. So I can’t touch her, boo hoo.. I don’t have to touch her right? I like her, obviously. But for the old me, that could have been fucking enough. Knowing that she likes me back would have been enough but look at me now. Groveling at invisible gods to give me one change to touch her like some pathetic pavement dweller. Fuck me….h”

Akutagawa ranted, walking back and forth in front of Chuuya. His restlessness knew no other outlet.

Chuuya made a small laugh.

“The hell you laughing at, loser?” Akutagawa snapped at him.

“Because I know..”

“Know what?”

“Why you are craving little Dazai’s touch.”

“Oh? Please.. Enlighten me.”

“I will ignore all these spiteful sarcasm because I can see you’re very upset now. And because I will fuck with you enough in the next couple of minutes-”

“Will you get to the point, Chuuya?”

“It’s because you wanna be vulnerable.”

“Excuse you?”

“I’m serious. Listen for a second I promise I’m gonna make sense in a bit. Akutagawa you are an asshole- No don’t interrupt. It’s just a fact. You hate everybody. You have zero friends, zero people skills and less than zero care for anybody else. You are practically armoring yourself against the entire world. You are cocooned. You are the personification of introvertness if that’s a word.”

“I’m not hearing any explanations in there but insults. And you are overestimating my patience here.”

“See. Point proven. You tolerate nobody. And to be all that intimating no bullshit self, Rashomon is perfect. Everybody’s scared of you because of Rashomon. But deep down.. You want to not be all that. You’re right, Y/N’s all about touching. That’s how it is with both Dazais. And the moment she touches you, she holds all the power. She could just suck Rashomon in, make you powerless, make you dance on her palm. And you love that. The danger of being powerless when she is in control of everything you are as a person. You want that. Being vulnerable, weak, powerless, is a different kind of a high, Ryunosuke. And you’ve been chasing it with her from the very beginning. I should know, I was there for the whole lot of it.”

Akutagawa breathed hard. His cheeks were on fire, he was scared to turn back and face the mirror to see his cheeks flushed as the truth laid bare in front of him. So he stared hard into Chuuya’s eyes. He smirked like he had read Akutagawa’s mind.

“What do you think, makes sense right?” Chuuya asked, breaking away from his gaze to focus on fastening his glovelette.

This bastard… This.. This.. He’s.. right.. Oh god.. Why.. Why is this happening to me of all people..

Akutagawa sighed. His voice lowered.

“What’d you know about being vulnerable, Chuuya. You’re no better than me.”

“Dude, you have no clue how right you are.”

Chuuya’s smile felt like it was hiding all the secrets in the world.

“What does that supposed to mean?”

Chuuya opened his mouth and closed it as if he was contemplating the best way to deliver some grave news at an oncology office.

“You’re.. Well.. you’re not the only one who is in love with somebody that can destroy you with just a touch, Ryunosuke.”

“I’m not in lo-what do you mean destroy you with a touch?”

“Suppose it’s about time you knew. I’m in a relationship with Dazai. The other one.”

For quite some time, there was only the sound of the clock ticking. And the water dropping into the sink from the tap Akutagawa hasn’t closed well in his post nut haze an hour or so ago. It was faint coming through the closed door.. But right now it felt like a gong being reckless. Chuuya was silent like he knew the toll of his words. How silence was making it worse every second that passed.

Dazai Osamu and Chuuya Nakahara.

Akutagawa first thought that it was jealousy that he felt. They had hidden this from him, they had been closer to each other than either of them ever were to him. Dazai had kept Chuuya close even after leaving the Mafia. So.. so.. Close.. He thought it was the bitter taste of betrayal in his mouth. All these games of cat and mouse to keep this secret away from him.

And then it dawned on him why. He would have never understood. He would have fought and destroyed whatever they had just because. He didn’t need a reason, the only reason he would have wanted was to see Dazai in pain. Akutagawa would have gone as many extra miles as it took to really stick it up to Dazai and so the people closest to him, his only friend he had in this world had no choice but to hide himself from him.

It made sense why Chuuya wanted Akutagawa to get close to Y/N. If it worked, it was gonna be perfect. And Akutagawa would understand in an instant what kind of a situation Chuuya was in, because he would be in the same situation, fallen head over heels for a Dazai.

“Ohrrgghhmmhh..”

Akutagawa made an inhuman sound from under his throat, still processing. And because he was in the worst fate ever, he recovered faster than he would usually have under the same circumstances.

“So what, you two are fucking every time Mori sends you on a job to stick it to the detective agency?”

Akutagawa asked, rolling his eyes.

“Quite the opposite actually. There has been no fucking since the engagement.”

Chuuya air quoted. Akutagawa’s head snapped.

“ENGAGEMENT!?”

“Yeah.. that’s where love gets you. We are planning to catch up with all the missed sex on the wedding da-”

“For the love of god, silence!” Akutagawa hissed. “I’m tortured because I cannot touch the love of my life and you’re bragging about honeymoon sex?!”

“I thought you said you aren’t in love with her.”

“Don’t! Don’t get pedantic with me. Not now. Not when I hardly recognize myself. I talk too much, I yell too much, I vent too much. How am I gonna get anything done like this? She is changing me into a loser in love.”

“But you are a loser in lo-”

“Get the hell out of my apartment.”

“Oh come o-”

“I said Get Out Chuuya! I swear to god I’ll-”

“Okay okay.. I’m leaving. Give me a call when you’re ready to talk about all this like an adult.”

Chuuya left, leaving Akutagawa alone with his thoughts once again. He pulled out his phone and decided to make it Y/N’s problem.

I had just hidden the silicone dildo in a box under my bed when I heard my phone vibrate. I saw his name pop up and my already blushed cheeks reddened some more. I expected him to have some comments about the intimate “session” we shared earlier today.

But.. seemed like he had other plans.

‘Chuuya and Dazai are fucking.’

I scoffed. I could feel him seething through the emoji-less text.

‘Wait till you hear about the engagement.’

I texted him back.

‘I did.’

‘Wait you knew already?’

He sent two texts in a row.

‘Yeah’

I replied.

‘How did you find out!’

‘Dazai told you?’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Three texts from him in a row that time. I shook my head at him throwing a tantrum at somebody else’s love life when we had enough problems as it is.

‘I have my ways. No, Osamu didn’t tell me. And when did you expect me to tell you this exactly? When we were running away from vampires, when you were in a coma or when I had your biblically accurate dick shoved inside of me?’

I was laughing when I sent my reply.

A minute passed. I thought he might have had a stroke from being so angry. My phone finally vibrated once.

‘Meet me. Arcade.’

—--

I saw him leaning on a wall next to some clothing shop window when I hurried to the arcade. His eyes lit up, but he hid it under a cough. I touched my neck nervously as I walked closer and closer, not knowing which point was ‘close enough.’ He pushed himself off the wall and stood up and I took it as my que to stop.

My heart was beating fast again. All I wanted was to run and jump into his perfect arms buried beneath the Rashomon coat. Come to think of it, I have never seen his arms or chest or anything for that matter.

His eyes focused on something behind me and I turned myself to look but all I could see were the people walking behind me left and right. Some girls but mostly guys at this moment. After all, the Arcade was a busy place.

“Switch.”

He said.

Understanding the command I started to walk towards the glass window as he walked towards where I was before. We passed each other, maybe a foot and a half away and I caught a whiff of his perfume. Elegant, and entirely designed to attack my self control.

Now I was the one with my back to the wall of the shop and he was staring at me through the crowd that was passing us by. The time stood still, only for us.

“So you knew?”

He asked. A passer by who was walking between us looked at him all weird. He probably couldn't understand why we couldn’t do our conversing closer to each other.

I nodded.

“Fine. But if you are keeping any other secrets from me-”

“It wasn’t a secret. Even if it was, it wasn’t my secret to share.”

“Yeah whatever. I do not care.”

He shook his head. I pursed my lips.

“You.. um… you took my panties..s..s with you.” I whispered into the wind. He smirked.

“So?”

“I’d like it back thank you.”

“No.”

“But-”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Weirdo.” I rolled my eyes.

“Says the girl with the gay brother.”

“Hey! That’s homophobic.”

“I’m not homophobic. I’m just against Dazai being happy.”

It made me laugh out loud. I covered my mouth with the back of my hand, turning away, laughing. It made me catch a glimpse of Ryunosuke’s reflection on the glass window of the clothing shop. I stared at it, it was blurry and out of focus but my heart ached. I reached to the glass, placing my fingers on his reflection, with an aching throat and wet eyes that made it blurrier than it already was.

I knew this was the cost for his life but at this moment I regretted every decision that led up to us being here, torn apart. It was entirely my fault. If I hadn’t siphoned Rashomon away from him so carelessly to quench my thirst, he would not have ended up in the hospital. The tears that gushed to the wells of my eyes started to freefall. I bit into my hand to stop sobbing.

“Y/N..?”

Ryunosuke called me.

I raised my other hand and signaled him to give me a moment. I took a long breath and collected myself and when I turned, he wasn’t there. He was gone.

My eyes frantically darted to the crowd walking busily, but he wasn’t there. I couldn’t yell with the cry stuck in my throat. I shoved my hand to my pocket to grab my phone when I heard a glassy knock.

My neck snapped towards the sound. It was coming from the glass window of the shop behind me. On the other side of it, there was Ryunosuke, his fist raised to knock the glass to get my attention. With the chicly dressed mannequins, he looked so out of place there. With wide eyes I stared at what the fuck he was doing. Corner of his mouth curved into a smile.

He signaled with a hooked index. Come closer.

I did, hesitating in my steps. He placed his hand on the glass. ‘Touch,’ he mouthed.

I gasped. Air never left my lungs after that. I raised my shaking left palm, staring at it. It felt heavy and powerful enough to destroy an entire world. I was scared of my own strength even though my rational thoughts knew that a measly little girl like me could never shatter this ‘burglary-proof’ window of a luxury clothing shop.

Finally.. Finally after what felt like a journey through the entire galaxy, my hand touched the glass, right over his palm. I saw him close his eyes as if he felt my touch. Tears fell like the rain with my eyelids fluttering close, my emotions crushing me down. Unable to bear it all I rested my forehead on the glass, my hand still resting neatly above his palm. I sobbed pressing my hand on the window as much as I could, no longer scared that it’ll break. I would have gladly accepted death.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw his other palm in front of my face, as if he was cupping my cheek. I looked up at him and he smiled helplessly. He was silently apologizing for not being able to do more. I smiled back, a pathetic half hearted smile of my own.

When I straightened my neck, he mouthed me to put my other hand over his left palm. And for a minute or two, we stayed just like that. This was the closest we had ever been after the incident. That coupled with the memories still fresh in my mind, I couldn’t help but feel a little turned on. I pressed my whole body against the window. I couldn’t care less about being in the public right now. He had put a spell on me that was so powerful. Add to that the fact that I could feel Rashomon even through the window. She was yearning for me, I could see little tendrils coming out of his coat and suctioning on the glass near my legs, trying to be less conspicuous. Heat was pooling between my thighs. My hips involuntarily grinded against the window. My cheeks were pink, lips were half parted open with the exasperated breath that made mist on the glass. He looked amused, much like he always was watching me get turned on.

Suddenly, a shop worker appeared behind him. Startled, I pulled out myself back. The worker started talking to Ryunosuke, not as angry as I expected but I couldn’t hear anything that was happening inside.

—

Akutagawa’s cheeks were still flushed when he was interrupted by the shop worker. She pulled her hands back and it left a hole in his heart, and he had to force himself to not take it out on the shop worker that interrupted him.

“Excuse me sir, either you have to buy something or I’m gonna have to ask you to vacate the.. Um.. the window.”

Akutagawa huffed but followed the worker out of the window and into the front door.

“If you don’t mind me saying sir..” the worker started while walking.

“Mm?”

“..If you are searching for a glass wall for the mannequin come to life fetish, there is a glass wall in section C.”

“The what fetish?” Akutagawa narrowed his eyes.

“Isn’t that what you were doing? I have a friend that does the exact same thing Sir. I don’t judge.”

“You have a friend who likes to.. Do things with Mannequins?”

“No.. not exactly. They act like their partner is a mannequin come to life and the-”

Akutagawa was not prepared for a total stranger to share all this information. Besides, was that what she was doing grinding against the glass? Does she get turned on imagine that I’m a mannequin that came to life? The worker was still talking. Akutagawa snapped.

“Dude.. I’m not in the mood. Keep that information to yourself.”

When he came out, Y/N was waiting outside, a few feet away from the door. She smiled sheepishly, embarrassed by him being kicked out of the shop, and also from the way she acted pressing herself against the window.

They started to walk, parallelly, in silence until Akutagawa finally broke it.

“Y/N.. do you.. Do you like Mannequins?”

Chapter Text

Keeping a secret from Osamu is not as hard as one might think. It’s HARDER. He is a master manipulator with an absolutely supernatural-esque ability to anticipate every move of everyone around him, friend and foe alike. All I’m saying is, it takes someone time to really understand how to get around his little party trick of reading people. It’s even harder to hide the past from Osamu, he had all the skills and resources to find out every breadcrumb you leave behind and enough intuition to put it into a narrative that often was so close to the truth.

Aaaaanyway,

I was on a boat. Since my brother couldn’t take his Fiancé to the party where their prestigious Armed Detective Agency President was getting an award, he took me. Now I was on the deck, with a glass of champagne, my back exposed in this entirely inappropriate dress, alone.

“Took you long enough to come back to my life.”

I turned to the husky voice to find Fukuzawa Yukichi staring at me, his silver hair slightly gushing in the wind. I sighed. I knew I’d have to talk to him today at one point or another. I was just impressed that he managed to get away from the crowd that was congratulating him left and right.

“Hi Yukichi.”

I smiled but it didn’t quite reach my eyes. It was clear that we hadn’t quite figured out how to talk to each other just yet after the past we shared. Yukichi seemed softer somehow that he was when I knew him.

“You seem troubled.”

He grabbed the glass from my hand. He never really liked me drinking.

“On the other hand, you are glowing from all the abstinence from murder, Wolf”

I turned my back to him again and leaned on the railing.

“I don’t use that name anymore”

He leaned next to me. Both of us stayed silent for the next thousand moments, reminiscing about our violent past. I studied my hands as if I could still see the blood stains from all the people I’ve killed under his order and guidance.

“You’ll always be the Silver Wolf to me, Master”

I muttered, letting the wind carry it into his ears. He made a soft scoff.

“Did you ever find it?”

I asked. We both knew what I was asking about, the book he had me chasing around the world. He never told me what it was about, only that it was important enough to kill anybody that had any “wrong” intentions getting hands on it. By the time I met Maggie, we hadn’t yet found the book.

“No. Not yet.”

He replied. I was about ask him if that meant he is continuing on with the search, but he spoke again answering my question.

“..I’m no longer interested in serving the people that want it. Unrelated, have you told Dazai?”

“About all the murder? Or the Mayhem?”

“Y/N..”

“No, I haven't told him. And don’t worry, I won’t tell him that I know you either.”

“I’m not worried about that. I trust you to make good decisions-”

I scoffed at that. Good decisions haven't really been my forte lately, my mess with Akutagawa nothing but proved that. He continued.

“How’s the.. girl?”

“Don’t ask me like you don’t know, Yukichi”

“Know what?”

“She.. um.. she’s dead”

He sighed, not really surprised. I could hear the I told you so he didn't mean to hide behind his taunt muscles. Old him would have hounded me about this, about how I broke our little “unwritten” contract of subordination and went off to play house with Maggie when he was repeatedly telling me that it was gonna end in regret. But he saw the punishment I gave myself in my pained expressions.

“How did she pass?”

“Weakened. From me constantly sucking off her power.”

“I see…”

Silence, again.

“Are you keeping up with your training at least?”

He asked, looking at me.

“Are you crazy? Why would I be? I’m not doing that anymore.”

“You made enemies. We made enemies. I wouldn’t want you to fall victim to some vengence seeking criminal. That would be.. quite unfortunate.”

“You don’t say”

“Stop that”

“You don’t command me anymore, Silver Wolf.”

“I’d like to.”

“What?!”

“Join the Detective Agency”

“Me?”

“Yes. We could use someone with your.. skills.. And power”

“By skills you mean dismembering?”

“There’s no winning with you, is there?”

“Yukichi, I’m a fucking disaster. Why would you want me to join your morally righteous book club if you’re not searching for that book anymore? Besides, what are you gonna tell Osamu? Hey, Dazai, so guess what, When you left your little sister in an orphanage, I found her, trained her to gut men like cheese, told her not to get attached, she got attached, left me -the guy who practically raised her and then killed the girl she got attached to, -serves her right- and now I want her to do all that again but hey, this time it’s different cause you Dazai, get to watch her do all that. Maggie’s dead, Bob’s your uncle, and I-”

“Enough! Y/N you are the same naive child you always were. When are you ever gonna grow up? I don’t know what happened between you and that girl, but I didn’t chase you when you left because I thought you’d be better off. Because even though I saw your potential as a weapon, I saw more potential in you as a human being. And now you are telling me your greed got her killed. Because you wanted another hit. I was mistaken to let you off on your own, that is why I’m stressing. Join the agency, sign the contract so that I can help you keep your.. urges at bay.”

Yukichi wasn’t yelling but his voice was rough. He always got like this when I failed to follow his orders and got in trouble. I wondered why he wouldn’t just eliminate me when I messed up. Maybe he cared for me, in his own weird fucking silver fox type of way. The thing is this new Yukichi Fukuzawa was a stranger to me. But I felt the same weird care he had, same disappointment in his face.

“You are so… right about me fucking up my life again because I’m in the same fucking mess again. Control urges my ass”

I spat out bitterly. Only if he had offered this sooner, maybe I would have been in a better situation.

“What has happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Talk about what?”

Osamu interrupted us and Yukichi gave me a silent order. ‘Not. A. Word.’

“About how weird the back of this dress is”

I smirked. Osamu narrowed his eyes as if he hadn't been sold yet.

“It’s about the fact that it’s not there. The back of the dress.”

Yukichi chimed in, perfect calm composure as if always.

“Well I think it looks good on her.”

Osamu smirked, offering me his hand, signaling that we need to leave the deck. Fukuzawa offered a gentle nod to Osamu and then me. ‘This isn’t over.’ his eyes reminded me. I nodded back.

“Do you think Rashomon can touch you?”

Akutagawa asked, pulling his legs back under the long table just in case. She was sitting on the other side of it, facing him and he didn’t want any accidents. The oak table was perfect for the current tragic state of their relationship.

“I don’t know.” She slurped her noodles.

Lips.. wet.. Puckered. Akutagawa gulped.

“..I mean, do you consider Rashomon an extension of clothing or a part of you?”

She asked tilting her head. Her hair fell to the side, over her shoulder. She straightened up, placing the chopsticks down. Akutagawa wished he could push her hair back so he could see that collarbone again. He cleared his throat.

“Well.. for all intents and purposes, Rashomon is a part of me, not a part of my clothes. But I’m wondering if it’s something your doctor friend missed. A technicality that we could exploit.”

“He is no friend of mine.” Y/N rolled her eyes. “But maybe you’re right. Wanna test it?”

“No-”

Akutagawa answered fast. She raised her eyebrow.

“..It’s foolish to try. If we are wrong, we’ll both just drop dead.”

“Actually no.” She smiled.

“Oh?”

“You’d drop dead. I’d suffer and wither and die. That’s the condition.”

“That guy really has it out for you, doesn’t he?” Akutagawa sighed.

“Killed his daughter, remember?” She pointed at her chest. He looked at her, and at her finger, and her chest. She pushed her hair back and leaned again to eat her noodles again and the loose shirt she was wearing fell, he could see the perky breasts squeezed in a sports bra. He inhaled sharp, and she looked up with her eyes. Her lips pressed together to blow on the steaming food, chopsticks frozen halfway through, she looked at him curiously and his lips parted open. He could feel the blood rushing through his body to his cock and Rashomon chose that exact moment to come out of the coat and crawl on the table towards her as if she felt Akutagawa’s need. He grabbed Rashomon, tighter than he intended to but his focus was entirely on grounding himself.

She cursed. “Fuck, you’re hurting her, Ryu, what’s wrong?”

Akutagawa didn’t know how to explain his frustration without getting her mood down.

He shook his head.

“You know how Rashomon is with you.” He brushed it off. But the mound in his pants was still beating to the rhythm of his heartbeat, he was so thankful about the long table that let him hide his ‘dirty’ intentions. Rashomon was still out, still stuck between Akutagawa’s fingers, waiting for him to let go.

“I miss her too.” She sighed, cheeks already looking flushed. “Let her come out... Promissse I won’t touch.” Her words were slurring slightly as always in the presence of Rashomon out and about.

Akutagawa slowly tightened his grip, silently commanding the beast not to touch her, reminding that they’d both lose her if Rashomon took one wrong step.

“Rashomon… hey..”

She called the beast, taking her hands and tangling them behind her back to stop herself from accidentally going overboard. Akutagawa stayed silent. Y/N could read Rashomon’s thoughts, and their communication got better and better every time they met face to face. They were learning each other, fast.

“Hmm..?” She hummed as Rashomon manifested a bit larger, red eyes burning bright. “I’m sorry little beast we can’t risk it. Even though I want you so much too.”

She smiled softly as the beast moved in the air.

“I know. I fucked up, it’s entirely my fault.” She nodded solemnly that time. Akutagawaa wondered how she hears Rashomon so clearly. He wondered what it was like.

“I don’t think he’d hear my case again, Rashomon. I mean he hates me, which is why we are separated. If we go back and bother him, he might fuck us over even more. What then, hmm? What if we can’t even talk or look at each other?”

Rashomon shrank.

“I knew you’d understand. But I’m sorry anyway.”

Suddenly, the beast lifted her jaw and was going haywire like a cat heard a bag of chips being opened. Y/N seemed surprised at first, flustered next and she started laughing, throwing her head back.

“Oh god..” She whispered, trying to contain her laughter. But she was too high on her Rashomon dose to stop.

Oh.. the way you laugh..

“What?”

Akutagawa was curious to know what that’s all about. But Y/N avoided his eyes. “It’s nothing.” She whispered.

“Tell me..” he insisted.

“Ur.. fine. You asked. She says.. You um.. You’re.. Hard..”

She whispered the last part and started laughing again. So much for keeping it a secret so she won’t be sad. Akutagawa looked away to hide his embarrassment. His body was betraying him so shamelessly that even when knowing she knew, his cock wouldn’t stop throbbing. If anything, it got harder when she laughed at him.

“Snitch.” Akutagawa gritted at Rashomon, who wasn’t even looking at him. The beast seemed equally enamored with her laughter. Y/N finally slowed, breathing hard to regain composure. Her eyes were glossy from the tears, cheeks looking warmed red and he lost all of himself all at once.

He stood up, the chair scraped the floor from being pushed back with force. She looked up at him, forehead wrinkled.

“Don’t move.”

He ordered, sending Rashomon to go back inside. Rashomon reluctantly obeyed just as Y/N extended one of her arms. “No please..”

“Just stay still for a second, I’ll give her back. Just-” Akutagawa wiggled, adjusting his pants that strained his cock. She was still coming out of her high and was too depressed to laugh at his discomfort.

My whole body felt limp and undone when Rashomon left my immediate orbit. Lips started quivering, I didn’t know if it was because I was about to cry or because I was high.

Ryunosuke opened his mouth and closed it, and left towards the kitchen. I dunked my head into the wooden table, pushing my bowl away hiding my head between my hands , taking shaky breaths to fill my lungs. Oxygen felt too heavy for me to absorb. No matter how much I tried to breathe fresh air, it always ended up not being enough. I tried breathing through my mouth. A little better. Another heavy breath. But why would he just take my Rashomon away. Does he hate seeing me and her together? Does he hate me? Is that why he left? Because he hates seeing my face? Is it wrong to want Rashomon if I have him to.. To.. talk and be in a relationship with? Is it cheating? What- no.. maybe he thinks so.. Why does he ev-

I heard his steps when he walked towards me from the kitchen. I was too worried to look up and see his face spelling out his disgust for me. I was scared he’d tell me to leave and never come back because I was.. I was.. Something crinkled in his hands. I turned my head slightly and under my elbow I saw his hand wrapped in- is that.. Plastic? My neck snapped up in curiosity. He had a roll of plastic wrap dangling from one hand, the other already mummified in it.

“What.. the..”

I whispered.

“Stay still”

He walked closer, dangerously.. Dangerously closer.

“Ryunosuke st-” I tried to warn.

“Shut up. Don’t move” and he raised his hands, stretched the plastic wrap, spread it tightly on my face and pressed. In my attempt to talk to protest whatever murder attempt this was, it god sucked into my mouth, successfully halting my breath and before I closed my mouth he leaned.

And sank his lips into mine.

Chapter Text

First I felt shock. The warmth of his lips transcended the plastic wrap and started burning into me. My own mouth felt wet against it, creating the illusion of another mouth against me without the barrier that crinkled between us. And he moaned. Or maybe I moaned. The sound broke whatever was holding me back. “Ryu..” I gasped against him, pushing my lips, dragging my tongue. This didn’t feel anything like a first kiss. It felt desperate. Hopeless. Frantic. He was kissing me with the urgency of a dying man, pun intended.

It was.. Visceral.

My moans crawled from down my throat as I reached automatically to grab his coat. But he groaned into me. “Stop.” He didn’t take his lips away or stop trying to suck me through the atoms. Yet he warned me. “Stay still.”

And I obeyed, half-hearted but nudged my entire face towards him. He responded, sinking more into me, driving his tongue into me. I had to take every bit of self control left in me not to get my teeth involved and bite his lower lip. Any damage to the thin wrap would be the death to us both.

“Y/N…”

He breathed, pressing his palm onto the table, not letting a fraction of distance get between our mouths. The air misted on it as I struggled to breathe. With my mouth occupied, with the plastic sticking to my nostrils every time I gasped a short breath, my vision was blurring and I suffocated under him. But I didn’t want him gone. This warmth, this closeness was what I had been craving all along so I pressed more into him, my neck stretched towards him like mankind seeing heaven on clouds. And finally.. When he realized I was about to pass out, he pressed one last time and pulled back, taking the plastic wrap with him.

Oxygen gushed to my lungs, filling me with an euphoria I could only describe as a climax. I inhaled, and panted loud, instinctively closing my thighs shut. He looked ruined. His lips wet and his eyes devastated. He looked.. Hungry.

“Ryu..”

The one syllable stuttered a thousand times before it left my mouth. Cries were stuck in my throat, bliss and devastation dawning on me at the same time. The devil on my shoulder screamed, “MORE!!” but I knew. I wouldn’t survive that twice. We wouldn’t survive that twice.

—-

“Yukina is coming over.”

I told Osamu in passing.

“That’s the friend from your job right?”

He asked, digging into a piece of toast. Nakahara and Osamu was going to tell Fukuzawa about their relationship today and Osamu was unusually on edge. It made sense, considering Nakahara was the absolute bastard of the Port Mafia, but yet again, he had helped the Detective Agency multiple times during the vampire threat. I couldn’t anticipate how well Yukichi Fukuzawa would receive this news though and I was curious for my own sake.

At one point I might have to tell him that I’m also dating a guy from the Port Mafia. So this was a good trial run for me to test the waters on what to say and what not to say. Yukina came over as Osamu was leaving, they nodded at each other and went their separate ways.

“Your brother.. Is.. hot..”

Yukina commented, plopping to the couch.

“Don’t get any ideas.”

“I wasn’t.. Is he single?”

“Gay and engaged, shut up.”

“Shame. So…?”

“So what?”

“How’s your man.. The stalker with a demon pet?”

I had told Yukina all about the situation. Mostly because I needed someone to rant to and I couldn’t choose words when it came to that. Initially she was too stunned to even talk. She avoided texting me for four days straight but finally she came around and now she was talking about all these powers and mafia and rashomon like it was the coffee order she learned from pinterest.

“He.. we kissed.”

“YOu what! I thought you couldn’t-”

“Didn’t touch.”

“So what, locking lips doesn’t constitute as touching? If then, you should lock your other lips wi-”

“Yuki!” I hissed knowing very well where she was going with that. She had a tendency to get tad bit dirtier every opportunity she got. “I meant, there was a plastic wrap between us.”

“Oh…. That sounds.. So fucking uncomfy”

“It was. I almost died suffocated. But damn.. It was good.. I so fucking needed that honestly.”

“Okay.. Let’s say you enjoyed cosplaying as leftovers. Then why do you look like that?”

“Like What?”

“Like you just heard your husband died at war?”

“Ur.. well… you know..”

“Y/N I really don’t. I have never dated a guy that had a fucking demon in his coats..”

’and in his pants..’ I thought to myself.

“..and couldn’t kiss me because of a promise I made to an old witch.”

“It wasn’t a witch-”

“You get my point.”

I sighed, nodding. Her question was right. I looked as if I had heard the worst news ever, when I should have been rejoicing with the closeness Ryunosuke and I shared yesterday.

“It felt.. Good. and I realized there will never be any other way for us to kiss or hold hands or whatever. I mean.. It’ll be enough. But only for a while you know.. I know that I can’t be that kinda person. Maybe I’m wrong and is a bitch but.. I really do wanna touch him. And every time I get close to him, every time we pull some kinda stunt like this, it just reminds me that I can’t.”

For once in her life, Yukina was silent. She had no dirty remarks to be made about my tragedy. She just fiddled with her drink while I sighed again and sat down next to her.

“..Didn’t mean to get you down with me too.” I shrugged.

“No. You can rant to me. It’s fine. I just.. You know.. No idea what to say.”

I groaned loudly, stretching, deciding to shift the tone in our conversation. Something happy. Something funny.

“Okay fuck the doom and gloom. I have something to show you in my room.”

I stood up, signaling her to follow. Yukina scoffed, getting up.

“That’s what a guy says when he’s about to show me his dick.”

—----

“YOU HAVE A DICK!!!”

She screamed and laughed, clutching her stomach.

“Well it’s not mine!” I laughed with her, placing the box with Ryunosuke’s silicon dildo on the bed.

“Holy shit.. Oh my god this looks so…” she peeked into the box. “I don’t know the word.. Detailed? Intricate?”

“It should be, considering it’s an exact replica.”

“Of whose? Rasputin?”

“Okay I’ll take that as a complement. It’s Ryu’s.”

She looked at me. Mouth agape, blinking. “Girl What! Are you telling me this is what you’re missing? Is the demon in his cock or what!”

Haha thought so..

I shrugged.

“..Okay we need to solve this issue. You can’t pass on good dick. You need to lock this man down. We are going to meet the old witch. I’m coming with.”

Yukina grabbed my arm, urging me towards to door. I pulled her back.

“Are you crazy?”

“Come on… you can’t just do nothing and hope for your man to put some condom body suite on just so he can fuck you. I know you said this Scott bitch doesn’t like you but we’ll talk. No harm right?”

“Yes harm.. he might make it worse..”

“Bitch stop being so.. Urgggh.. Every girl needs to be row dogged at least once.”

“Please stop with the sex talk.”

“No. You showed me the.. the tentacle. We are going.”

“No.. no Yuki listen we are not going. Not yet. I might be horny but I’m not desperate enough to go to him. At least not yet.”

“Hmmmmmh. Fine, but the moment you are, we are going. I don’t want my favorite couple not to fuck.”

“Who says romance is dead when there’s people like you.”

“Exxxxactly. Okay so tell me more about the plastic wrap…”

Chapter Text

From time to time, Akutagawa and Y/N found new little tricks to get closer to each other. Some worked quite well, like the plastic wrap (expect for the awful crinkly noise) but some just made them feel the distance more because they couldn’t do much. They held hands while he wore gloves, she touched his face while wearing her own gloves. The thing was.. They didn’t know the rules. There wasn’t room for error. Would cross contamination kill them? Could they eat off the same spoon, could they use the same towel, all this information was out of reach which made them more cautious and as a result, more frustrated.

But today Akutagawa had a plan. He put everything he wanted in a bag and set out to execute his mission. Because her messages in the morning were too horny and too needy for him to stop. She said it was because Yukina, the girl from the bank, stirred her heart but that was just an excuse. Akutagawa knew, just as much as him, she also had gotten to the edge of her sanity thinking about him.

With Dazai being at his pretentious Detective Agency job, Akutagawa had free access to her room. He climbed the stairs two steps at a time and opened the door. This was an unannounced visit and she was half asleep on her bed but the way her face lit up when he entered told him everything he wanted to know. She had been waiting for him.

“Ryu.. you came!”

She was chirpy, sitting on the bed.

“Yeah.”

“Osamu will be late to come home today. Wedding stuff.”

“Oh..? When’s the date?”

He asked while pulling out the stuff he brought, one by one.

“Haven’t set one yet I guess. Probably thinking of deciding after finding the place. Cause availability, you know.”

He nodded. “Getting married is hard.”

“Yeah.. Would you want to?”

He dropped the roll of leather ties when she asked.

“I um..”

“I meant one day. Not specifically to me or whatever you know..”

“No that’s not why I.. I haven’t thought of it. I was planning on kicking the bucket by thirty.”

“Oh.. I’m sorry.”

She sounded genuinely sad. Akutagawa rolled his eyes.

“You’re an idiot, Y/N. Why would you be sorry, you cured me.”

“Yeah but.. I mean..”

“On the other hand, yes. You should be sorry for ruining my life. Why live forever when I can’t kiss the love of my life.”

He straightened his back with the roll of leather ties in his gloved hand. She looked.. Mortified?

“You.. you.. Love me?”

She was blushing and blinking hard. Akutagawa closed his eyes, laughing quietly. It was just like her to get startled by a simple slip of a word, specially when it's about feelings. Not that Akutagawa was any better, but with her it always seemed easy to speak his heart. Love came naturally to him when it was about her. And it had never been easy as it was now. But.. This wasn’t the time to get lost in that. Love could wait, but lust was a beast worse than Rashomon.

“Shut up.”

He said instead of the answer. She visibly flinched. He took a step towards her and she crawled backwards on the bed.

“Stop being paranoid. You know the drill by now. I’m trying something new. I need you absolutely still, okay?”

She frantically nodded.

“Arms.”

He demanded, walking and stopping at the head of her bed. She extended her arms towards him. He tied her arms to the headboard, careful not to even accidentally brush her skin. She looked up at him from the bed, curious.

“You’ll see.” He answered to that look.

Next, he went back to the foot of the bed and grabbed one of her legs. She gasped, pulling it back, almost punching his jaw. It seemed almost like a practiced reaction. He stumbled backwards to avoid contact.

“Are you tryna kill me?”

He growled, coming back and grabbing her leg tighter.

“Sorry! But you startled me. Warn a girl next time, will you?”

“Brat..”

He whispered but kept going. He tied both her legs to the two bed posts.

“Wiggle.”

He ordered. She looked dumbfounded. Akutagawa sighed loudly.

“You’r gonna wiggle like a maniac in a minute. I want to see if the ties would come loose and you’d take my eye out along with my life. So.. wiggle.”

And she did. He had to clear his throat not to laugh out loud because this stupid little shit with her messy hair and tied up limbs were wiggling exactly like a crazy hooligan and he couldn’t voice that thought. She would open her drawer and put on her gloves just to punch him in the face if he did.

“Okay.. Good. Seems like we are safe.”

He nodded, satisfied.

“What are you gonna do?”

She asked with a smirk.

“Please.. I’m not that subtle. I’m sure you’ve figured it out.”

“I have but say it anyway.”

“I’m gonna make you cum with my fingers.”

He spat out fast. She made a sound. By now, Akutagawa had fully learned what made her tick. She loved being ordered around in bed, being called a good girl and occasionally something more degrading. She had her moments, and cues and he had sharpened his senses to catch all of them. So he knew exactly what to say in this exact moment to rile her up.

“Look at you..” he whispered voice dropping low. “..all spread out”

“You.. you.. you did that..” She was flustered just by that.

“Hmm.. I did, didn't I? And you like it, I could see it through these pathetic excuse of shorts you’re wearing.”

“Mmh..”

“You’re denying when you have half your ass out in the open? It’s like you wanted me to see, not that I’m complaining.”

“I didn't plan you’d come by today..”

“Stop lying. You always know now. You’re expecting me to come through that door with some crazy humiliating way to get you off. And today I’m gonna deliver..”

He reached and pulled her shorts down her legs. Her pussy glistened wet with just the dialogues they exchanged. He could almost smell her desperation. He laughed.

“Pathetic..”

“Ryu..”

“Moaning before I even got a finger into you? You are such a slut, Y/N”

“Please.. stop teasing m-aarrrrggghhh”

Akutagawa stuck two fingers in her without so much as a warning. She cried out, filled and stimulated when he started moving them, perfectly curved inside.

“There you go.. feels good right??”

“Ryu.. yes..”

He grabbed her thigh with his left hand and squeezed. Her neck arched back, and hips buck, seeking more friction. She started oozing.

“oh..”

Akutagawa fastened his fingers, staring at her convulsing around his fingers, making them wet, sticky and slippery. Her moans were filling the room and the air got thick with it. Just to see how she would react, Akutagawa pushed a third finger in.

“Ryu……h”

She squealed, and he instinctively pressed down her thigh. She looked delicious. His heart raised and his cock pulsed painfully inside of his pants. He let go of her thigh and grabbed his cock over his pants. His fingers tightened and trembled inside of her with the lightning that shot through his body.

“Oh.. god.. yes..”

She cried, and it echoed in his ears. He looked back down.. at her dripping mess of a body.

“Ryunosuke.. please.. faster..”

She begged. And he wasn't able to reply. His body was.. struggling with itself. If he could just stick his tongue into that tight hole and feel the way her walls are pulsing, it would have been worth any death. A thousand deaths. He was possessed.

“Y/N… Baby..”

He grabbed her thigh again. He looked up briefly to see her face, soaked in sweat, a tear rolling down her cheeks, eyes heavy lidded and fluttering, the embodiment of pleasure coursing through her veins.

“Ryu.. please don’t stop.. please.. I need you.. I need you.. Ryu.. I need you so much..”

And little by little he was coming undone while he was working his fingers inside of her. Every cry, scream and sigh, it was drawing him closer to her. He didn't feel it when his hair started dangling so dangerously closer to her thighs, his nose hovered above her clit, and his tongue out to devour her whole.

“Baby.. cry for me..”

He said, not sure why he said it. Did he mean when she comes? Or when he dies buried between her legs.

“What you do to me…. Oh.. fuck…”

He was gone. Fully checked out of his mind he dipped his head into her.

‘hyack.’

Akutagawa got yanked backwards and fell, not knowing what the hell happened. For a moment he sat there frozen, breathing hard. Y/N had her hips bucked up and it fell as she came back to the real world, calling his name to see what the hell happened.

“Ryu! Fuck, what happened.. are you okay??”

She tried to get her hands released, but couldn't. She could only pull her head enough to see Akutagawa still sitting on the floor with his stunned face, slippery gloved fingers and hard cock.

Rashomon slowly pulled up in front of him and hovered. It was obvious now, she had been the one to pull him out of the way. Rashomon looked at Akutagawa with her red eyes glowing for a moment, and immediately turned to Y/N.

“Rashomon?..”

Y/N whispered, her voice strained from moaning and screaming.

“What..”

She sounded surprised at what the beast said. She glanced at Akutagawa but immediately looked back at the beast. The beast moved in the air, getting closer to her but staying inches away from her skin. Y/N stared attentively, and sighed. Even with Rashomon out and about, she looked more sober than ever. Finally, she spoke, her voice small and Akutagawa could see the tears glazing her eyes again. And this time, they were not caused by pleasure.

“Thank you, Rashomon..”

She whispered and with that, Rashomon went back inside.

The silence was thick now, almost suffocating. Akutagawa didn't want to imagine what was coming next. A lecture? An angry argument? Her crying? All the options he equally disliked. He stared at the space between his legs, palms pressed to the floor, giving no effort to stand up. She spent more time thinking until she finally raised her head back up to look at him.

“Ryu..” he called. Not angry, something else.

He looked up. She waited another moment.

“Ryu.. could you untie me please..”

Her tone was different. Distant. Cold. Restrained. Something. Something bad.

Akutagawa didn't move. He stared at her, he was scared of what would happen if he moved and broke this bubble of calm before the storm.

“Ryunosuke, untie me.”

He scrambled and got up. Slowly he untied her knots, one by one, starting with her left leg and finishing with her left arm. She rubbed her wrists and immediately pulled a blanket over her waist. He sat down at the edge of the bed, and the mattress sank at the weight of his heavy heart.

In the silence, he could hear her gritting her teeth as if she was getting ready to say something that pained her physically. And he dreaded it. He wanted to jump out the window and run away without hearing the next few words outta her mouth.

“Ryu.. that was reckless.”

She finally spoke.

“Yes. Wouldn’t happen again I just got lost in the moment for a bit”

He spoke slowly to stretch out the time.

“We shouldn't do this Ryu.”

“I know. I won’t be stupid like that again.”

“No.. You know I’m not that subtle. You know what I’m gonna say. Ryunosuke, we can’t do this anymore.”

“Y/N..”

“I’d rather have you alive and far, than to have you dead in my arms.”

“Listen to m-”

“You’re not listening to me, I care about you. I don’t want you to die like Maggie did. You might not see it in me all the time Ryu but I am tired of the guilt I have inside of me. I can’t run away from it. I killed the one person I ever loved before. It eats me alive every moment of the day. And now.. I can’t be the reason you die too. We are a danger to each other no matter how careful we are. I’m not saying that it’s because you lose control. Might as well have been me, Ryunosuke. Because I crave you with every fucking atom inside of me. But.. All I could do is not pile up and add more guilt to my monolith of regrets, so please… listen to me. We can’t. We need to stop.”

He blinked. A strand of his hair felt annoying on his forehead. A car honked on a nearby road. He realized the ringing that was heightening was inside of his head. He stood up, pressing his palms onto his knees. Slowly he started putting everything he brought into his bag.

“Ryu.. say something.”

She pleaded. But he couldn't speak with the throat that ached too much. The worst part was, he knew every word of hers was true. But he had been the one to make her realize all that.

“...I know you’re angry at me but that’s okay. It’s easier to have somebody to blame.”

She talked, not necessarily at him. So he put the bag on his shoulder and started walking towards the door and opened it.

“..hope you’ll forgive me but I’d understand if you wouldn't. Take care of yourself okay.. and Rashomon too.”

Right on cue, Rashomon came out and pulled him back.

“Go back inside,” Akutagawa said through gritted teeth. But the beast didn't obey him.

“Rashomon, listen to him please. He’s hurting too.”

Beast faltered.

“Rashomon… I love you too baby.. I love you both.”

Akutagawa pulled the beast back into his coat and slammed the door behind him.
—---------

“I’m sorry man.”

Chuuya patted Akutagawa’s back. He grunted, slapping the hand away.

“Tell your fiancé it’s my wedding gift to you two.”

Akutagawa dropped to his bed. Chuuya sat down on the table right in front, scoffing slightly.

“But it’s not though. You didn’t break up with her. She broke up with you”

“And that’s relevant how?”

“Just saying.”

“If you’re gonna be an asshole about my mess, just shut up and leave. Why are you hanging out here anyway, don’t you have a wedding to plan?”

“I do.” Chuuya went silent. Akutagawa cracked one eye open and saw Chuuya’s attention stuck on Akutagawa’s coat hanging on the door.

“Hello?”

“Ah yes. I just, I’m not sure if I should tell you this or not.”

“What?”

“Y/N..”

“Is she okay? What!”

“She’s in withdrawal.”

“Fuck! I knew this was gonna end in a disaster. I should g-”

“No. You going there would only make it worse. Besides, Dazai is..”

“Mad?”

“Understatement.”

—--

“Are you a psychopath!!?!”

Osamu yelled at me while I hurled into a bucket.

“It’s NOT a rhetorical question. Are you??!?”

‘bhraaagh’

I threw up again, clutching the bucket, beads of sweat running down my forehead. I couldn't catch a break to cry.

“How many times I told you! Huh? I told you to stay the fuck away from him. And you promised and there I was, believing you.”

“Osamu..”

My voice was too weak for him to take notice.

“You started playing house with him behind my back! And when it backfired, instead of stopping it when it was physically impossible for you two to be together, instead of taking it as what it is, you doubled down.”

“Osamu you don’t.. hrrggg.. you don’t have spell out everything I did”

“Of course not. I’m sure it’s so embarrassing to hear about all the fucking stupid things you have done with your little boyfriend- drink some water.”

Osamu rolled a waterbottle towards me. I stared at it, having no strength to reach out and open it myself.

“You are a selfish little brat! I went to so many orphnages to find you. I worked so hard just so I could give you a good life. And you repay me by being a junkie- and no don’t even try to say its not about me. Its all about you. Akutagawa is a fucking kid, Y/N! Same as you! You two cannot be this reckless about life.”

“I know.. I know…”

“DO YOU!?”

“Yes..”

“Then please.. Butterfly” he dropped to his knees beside me and pressed his palm to my back. “Please just stop. You can’t see him again. Promise me this break up is permanent.”

“I.. I prom- hrrrrgh” I dunked my head back to the bucket. Osamu kept rubbing my back.

“Good girl. I can’t lose you. Not again.”

Chapter Text

“How is she?”

“Worse than the last time you asked me.”

Akutagawa was at the bank to make a deposit. He had a lot of deposits to make these days. He even volunteered to do anything related to bank activities for the Mafia. Yukina was one of the only two connections he had to Y/N’s life. But Chuuya was busier than usual so he always came to Yukina for scraps of information and always got his heart broken as a result.

“And have they figured out what’s wrong?”

“Well that Doctor from Osamu’s office, Yosano or something.. she came by yesterday.”

This sent a panic through Akutagawa’s mind, that was the doctor who only treated people in their deathbed. Yukina continued.

“She checked her out. What she is telling Osamu is that Y/N doesn’t really wanna live.”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean?”

“I gathered it means Y/N’s depressed. Hell I don’t need a doctor to conclude that. But her body is just shutting down little by little and I don’t know about you powered freaks enough to understand whether she is doing it on purpose.”

“That little shit…”

Akutagawa cursed under his breath. Y/N was always stubborn. And having her guilt marinate inside of her, on top of which this break up was probably weighing down on her and her way to retaliate is not do anything at all. She was accepting death. This was unacceptable.

“Call her. I wanna talk.”

He requested Yukina. She hesitated, knowing this would end in a disaster and Dazai’s wrath. But Rashomon grabbed the phone off her desk and handed it to Akutagawa and he unlocked it with her face.

“Don’t you make a habit of stealing my phone.”

She hissed but made no effort to get it back. Rashomon waited eagerly hovering near Akutagawa’s ear to hear her voice coming through the phone. The call went to voicemail after some rings. Akutagawa sighed, handing the phone back. Rashomon’s head went limp, and she slowly retreated back into the coat.

Yukina silently pressed her lips tight together.

“Rashomon is dying”

Akutagawa groaned.

“Dude..”

Yukina tilted her head, giving him a knowing look. It wasn't just Rashomon.

She sighed and got up from the counter.

“Wait, I’ll tell them I’m gonna take a half-day”

Yukina disappeared towards the back of the bank and came back within a minute.

“Let’s go.”

She grabbed her bag.

—---

They ended up at the cafe Y/N and Akutagawa always hung out.

“I can’t talk and understand Rashomon the same way Y/N does. So the beast is annoyed with me I think.”

Akutagawa sighed.

“Well it’s not a secret that you’re a poor conversationalist”

Yukina sipped her tea.

“Do not make fun of me.”

“I’m not. I’m just sympathizing with Rashomon.”

“Rashomon doesn't want sympathy. She wants Y/N”

I want Y/N too.

“Sucks that you’re broken up, I know. But it’s to save your own skins, dude.”

“I know.. I know but it’s not like Rashomon’s gonna move on from her”

“Listen Ryunosuke. You have to admit that this is not just about the cute beasty. You’re the one who can’t move on.”

“Why are you tryna drag me for it?”

“I’m not. Dude. I’m not. I’m telling you not to hide your feelings behind Rashomon. The sooner you accept your own things, it’ll be better for you.”

“Since when are you a psychology major?”

“Since I learned about this freakshow you people call life. I mean Sentient beasts, gravity powers, fuck meeeh. Started reading psych books cause I thought I was psycho for su-why? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was- I was being rhetorical about the psych major thing?”

“oh.. haha” Yukina laughed, brushing imaginary sweat off her brow. Akutagawa rolled his eyes. He was about to gulp down his entire tea when Yukina’s phone rang. Both looked at the screen.

Y/N Dazai - Bank

Akutagawa stumbled and spilled his tea trying to grab the phone and push it to his ear.

Sound of heavy breathing came through the phone, followed by Y/N’s voice.

“Yuki.. sorry.. was asleep.”

She sounded utterly weak, Akutagawa looked away, grinding his teeth, to hide the gloss that covered his eyes. He mumbled.

“Y/N its me..”

“Ryu..?”

He didn't know what to say, suddenly all words and the concept of language and ability to form coherent thoughts escaped him. Rashomon nudged at his jaw, urging him to talk so that she could hear Y/N’s voice.

“Ryu..? Hello..?” Cough. Cough. “You there..?”

“You little shit!”

He finally cursed. Rashomon gave a very expressive unimpressed look at Akutagawa. He shook his head.

“..What are you doing dying like a little moron?”

“Ryu..”

“No. Don’t you start bullshitting me, Y/N. You broke up with me because you didn't wanna kill me and die right? So why are you killing yourself?”

“I’m not..” Cough.

“Then what? Are you tryna tell me that going cold turkey’s what's doing this to you? You think I’m stupid? You’ve gone through withdrawal before!”

“..not like this..”

“Fucking stop Y/N. Eat. Rest. Do whatever you have to and get better. You pushed me away to live so fucking live! And the next time I hear about you, if you aren't any better-” he huffed. “..I will kiss you like a fool and die in your lap like I was supposed to. Don’t test me!”

He pressed the button with force and hung up without waiting to hear what Y/N had to say.

—

His threat seemed to bear fruit for the next couple of weeks. All news he got from Yukina and Chuuya was about how she was recovering fast. It was good news, great actually but every time somebody talked about her, how she was doing fine without him, Akutagawa took one step towards madness. It wasn’t hatred that she was okay, of course not, he could never hate her, but how could he be happy for her when he wasn’t even in the vicinity of her to share that happiness.

On top of his continuing mental decline, Rashomon had taken it upon herself to torture Akutagawa about Y/N. She constantly came out of the coat on her own, pointed at Y/N’s picture on his phone and made pleading gestures. Let’s go see her, want to see her, let’s see her, let’s.. Let’s..

Akutagawa would groan and growl at the beast’s attempts. He couldn’t control his own urges to see her when Rashomon was adding fuel to the fire. Sometimes he would down an entire bottle of whiskey he found in Chuuya’s shelf and pass out just so he couldn’t wander into the Dazai household.

‘Meet me here.’

I got a message from Fukuzawa Yukichi with the location of some obscure rooftop attached. Osamu was sitting at the foot of the sofa, watching TV when I eyed him secretly. Telling him I had been murdering people with his boss some years ago would require an enormous amount of feelings and explanations that I just could not afford right now. I got up from the couch.

“I’m gonna meet Yuki”

Technically it wasn’t a lie. It was a sliiiiight misguide.

“Fine. Be back home soon. Nakahara’s coming over.”

“Oki doki.”

I nodded and took off.

—--

Akutagawa woke up hungover on Chuuya’s couch. His head was banging, ears were ringing and he felt sweaty all over.

Am I sweating through my eyelids.

Groaning, he sat down, wondering if he should raid the fridge or order something. Neither of those options sounded appetizing. With his hands on his head, elbows on his knees, he pondered a moment when he felt Rashomon coming out. He turned his head and made eye contact with the beast. She nudged his pocket.

“No.”

He said, voice hoarse.

Rashomon nudged again. Akuatagawa didn’t have enough strength to protest. Besides, he wanted to see her face. It was the only comfort he had these days.

He pulled out the phone and unlocked it to the already opened gallery folder of Y/N’s pictures. There were many, most of which were taken by him when she wasn’t looking. Most of which he had taken when they couldn’t touch. He had spent hours zooming into these pictures, touching her skin on the screen, imagining the pixels were the tiny hairs on her arms, Akutagawa was drowning in feelings again.

But Rashomon had other plans. She tapped the screen, signaling him to go back. Curious, Akuatagawa clicked the back button, wondering what picture Rashomon wanted to see.
She tapped on the back button again.

He looked at Rashomon. Going backwards is gonna take them out of the gallery. But Rashomon insisted.

Following Rashomon’s gestures and signals, Akutagawa ended up in the location sharing app on his phone. There were only two dots in it, one him and one Y/N. They had shared each other’s locations to make sure they won’t run into each other accidentally in the busy streets and touch some exposed skin and perish then and there. It was a precaution. Something they had to do to avoid coincidences, surprises, nothing that would have put them in danger.

Rashomon pressed a tendril on Y/N’s dot. It was moving. She pressed harder on the screen, nudging Akutagawa’s jaw.

He knew what she wanted. And he gave up trying to resist. He knew seeing her would be the worst thing right now but he didn’t want to admit that because not seeing her was torture too. His heart was cracking and peeling and bleeding all over because he missed her. No matter what he did to avoid thinking of her, it came back stronger and more insistent. She had imprinted herself in his mind. There was no moving on.

“Fine, we'll go see her. Will you please wait until I’m presentable though. I don’t want her to see me looking like a corpse.”

Yukichi was waiting, his hair blowing in the wind, Katana on his side. He had the serious look on his face, the one he always had.

“You came.”

He said without turning to me.

“You sound surprised.”

I stood next to him, looking at the city view. The evening breeze was cool, coming across the ocean.

“I’m not. But you are going to be.”

He turned to me.

“Oh?”

I turned to him, looking up to meet his eyes.

“I found the book.”

I think my jaw dropped at his words. All the murders I have committed trying to find that stupid fucking book not even knowing what it was containing, I didn’t know what to feel. Before I figured it out, Yukichi spoke again.

“Before you give yourself a heart attack, I mean I found the location of the book. And some new information has come to life too. It’s not a book. It’s just one page. And I need your help getting it.”

“I’m not your employee anymore.” I said after some silence. He had turned his eyes back to the shoreline and he nodded, agreeing with my point. “..So I won’t just blindly follow your orders anymore. I wanna know what this book page is.”

“Understandable.”

“So what is it? What’s written in it that’s so important?”

“It’s not exactly what’s written in it. It’s.. what you can write in it.”

“Huh?”

“It alters reality. You can rewrite reality by writing it on the page.”

The what!!!!!

Yukichi went silent to let me have my mental explosion in peace. My head was hurting trying to understand the gravity of his words. A book that can alter reality could have so much potential. And so much danger. How can something so powerful exist? Suddenly, all the death made sense. Yukichi was a government employee. The government would not want such an object to be falling into any individual’s hands. And it's not like the government would have the ultimate control over the people with something like this.

There were so many people after this book. So many people I had to kill. Why Yukichi told me to be careful. Why there was still a threat that they’d find us and torture us for information. This could turn a person so selfish so fast.

And I was just another person. I had already started formulating the possibilities on my head. If I could get my hands on that page, I could bring Maggie back to life. This crippling pain of guilt would be eradicated in an instant. Scott would be so happy that I brought his daughter back, he would lift my curse and let me run back to Ryu if he would still have me. This was perfect. The timing could not have been better. But… I had to negotiate carefully because I still didn’t have all the information.

“Fine.” I sighed, attempting to hide my burning cheeks and racing heartbeat.

“You’d help?”

“Yes. Only if I also get a say in the content that’s gonna get written into the page. And you have to swear to me whatever you and your government pals write on it won’t overwrite my thing.”

“As I told you before, I’m no longer employed by the government. I’m searching for the page merely because it is a threat to the safety of the entire world. I was not planning on using it for any personal gain.”

“So what, you won’t let me write anything on it?”

“Depends on what you want.”

“Just..” I sighed, gritting my teeth. My heart was in knots and my shoulders felt heavy trying to say the thing I want out loud. I was scared that when I say it, it would become so real of a wish and if I wasn’t granted it by the end of this crusade, I wouldn’t be able to bear it.

“You can tell me.”

“I want to bring Maggie back.” tears fell down my eyes. Bringing a person back from the dead might be one of the big no-no’s of altering time and space. I didn’t know, it wasn’t like I had done it before. But if movies and shows are any indications, this would end up in a disaster, and following this logic, I was sure that Yukichi would disagree. Dammit I should have lied and then later figure out a way to write it on the page.

But to my absolute surprise, Yukichi nodded, crossing his arms.

“Your condition seems acceptable.”

“The what!”

“Why are you surprised? You made the request.”

“Yeah but I didn’t think you’d agree.”

“Then you have understood me wrong, Y/N. You always think of me as some distant, cold man. I cannot understand why.”

“Ur.. because you trained me to kill people?”

“Yes I did. We were doing it together. I trained you, but have I ever punished you? Have I ever starved you or tortured you? I wasn’t just a teacher, Y/N. I raised you. I saved you from a dusty orphanage and gave you the only knowledge and skill I had. The knives you used, I forged them myself. You were… I treated you as my own. You never saw me that way but I loved you as any father would have.”

A sharp pain ran across my jaw with his words. Before I could fathom formulating an answer, he spoke again in a hurry.

“Y/N, someone’s here.”

And bullet swished passed my ear with a loud bang.

Akutagawa followed the red dot which now had stilled. He could feel Rashomon eagerly rustling in his coat. The phone screen showed that Y/N was on top of a random building near the Port Mafia, he didn’t know why she would be there on a random Tuesday evening. He was in the elevator when he heard some loud noise. And to his mafia trained ears, there was no doubt. It was a gun!

Akutagawa pressed the button repeatedly as if it would make the elevator go faster. His heart had started banging. He frantically unlocked his phone, and the red dot was moving in short bursts. There was one thought in his head. Y/N’s in danger.

The elevator opened and Akutagawa stepped out wielding his gun in one hand, other hand summoning and controlling Rashomon to action. There were men, shooting at and fighting Y/N. There was also somebody else. Is that.. the President of the Detective Agency????

The sound of metal swords clanking together made his teeth go numb.

“Oi!”

He yelled, stepping into the fight himself.

“Ryunosuke!”

Y/N sounded both surprised and relieved as they locked eyes for a brief moment. Akutagawa’s heart fluttered at the thought of her welcoming his presence.

“Rashomon Agito!”

He commanded the beast, tearing his gaze away forcefully. The fight was intense and he got tunnel visioned fast. There were many, he didn’t know who they were or what they had against Y/N or Fukuzawa. One guy was trying to reach Y/N while she was cornered into the edge of the rooftop, yelling something about ‘getting the bitch’. Akutagawa turned, grabbed the man and emptied his loaded gun into his back, looking over the man’s slumping shoulder at her. Her lips were parted, but the corner of her mouth curved into a smile and he was about to say something smug. Something about her not being able to take care of herself without him. Something about him always being there when she needed. Something about still missing her. Something about love.

“Y/N-”

BANG!

A gunshot fired again. Akutagawa’s head turned towards the man who fired what seemed to be his last shot, Rashomon lunged and ran a stake right through him.

“Ryu-”

He heard her call and he looked at her again. She had her hand clutching her chest, red blood spilling through her knukles, mouth bloodied. She coughed.

“fuck..”

And she fell.

“Y/N!”

Akutagawa leapt in his feet and landed at the edge of the rooftop seeing Y/N falling through the air like an angel being excommunicated straight to hell. Panic settling in, he decided to fall victim to his heart. If you die, I won’t live anyway.

“Rashomon!!!!!”

He screamed at the top of his lungs but the beast had already begun before he even ordered. Rashomon was tearing through the air, fast. The couple of seconds felt like forever. In his life, Akutagawa had never doubted Rashomon’s ability. But right now, he doubted everything. Rashomon was going fast, but would she be able to reach Y/N in t-

He felt it. Rashomon’s tug as she caught her midair and sprung up. Akutagawa stumbled backwards as Rashomon slingshot her way up wrapped around Y/N’s body. She placed Y/N on the ground, still using her manifested form as a way of keeping the body still. Akutagawa had lost all reasons by this point. He crawled, he didn’t want to die without kissing her.

“Y/N.. Y/N..”

But before he reached, Rashomon stopped him with a tentacle. She pushed him back a couple of feet, giving him enough momentum to catch his breath and start thinking straight again. Rashomon’s wrap around Y/N tightened, and her head turned to Akutagawa with eyes glowing red. And he realized.

Rashomon could touch her. No deaths involved.

Chapter Text

There was so much beeping.

What are all these machines!

Akutagawa circled her hospital bed with shaky hands. The Detective Agency president was out of the room contacting Dazai. Akutagawa had limited time before everything gets messy with Dazai’s arrival to just spend with Y/N’s unconscious body. Her face was pale and half of it was covered in the oxygen mask.

Rashomon fussed over her, rubbing the jaw on her face, pushing the hair away. Only thing he could do was talk.

“You are an idiot. It bears repeating. What were you even doing getting shot at, Y/N? Are you working for the detective agency?”

Nothing but beeps answered his questions. He sighed while Rashomon placed her head on her lower stomach gently, and rested there.

“They are not sure how much time you have left. Hours, tops”

“What would have happened if I didn’t show up?”

“Maybe you wouldn’t have gotten shot. Did I distract you? Is that why the bullet went straight into your heart?”

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“Your president guy said that Death Doctor from the detective agency is out of the country. They are calling her back but it’ll take time. Are you planning to die before that, idiot?!”

Rashomon turned to Akutagawa and shook her head.

“Sorry.”

Akutagawa apologized, sighing.

“Y/N.. Don’t die. Please.”

He took a deep breath. He had one course of action left to explore which he wasn’t sure would bear any positive results but he was gonna try nonetheless. Walter Scott.

“Rashomon,”

He called the beast back in but she didn’t want to leave Y/N in this state.

“..I have a plan to save her. We need to go. We need to try.”

—---

“I see your ball-sack of power is intact now cause she can’t touch you.”

The moment the door opened, Scott said. Akutagawa still had his hand raised from when he was banging at the door.

“I need your help.”

“As much as I’m curious, I am busy. Have a good day.”

Before the door slammed shut, Rashomon shoved it open, letting Akutagawa enter.

“I can threaten you, I can torture you, I can do anything until you decide to help me but I’ll beg instead. Please, Y/N’s dying I need you to save her.”

Akutagawa pleaded his case.

“Dying, you say?”

Scott seems interested. So Akutagawa told him the story of how Y/N ended up. There was a slight thick silence that followed.

Scott slowly poured tea into his own cup, he hadn’t offered Akutagawa any.

“Interesting story. Real tragic. Breaks my heart. I won’t help you.” He said sarcastically. Akutagwa decided to ask him one more time nicely, before going nuclear. But Scott seemed to have guessed Akutagawa’s reactions in real time.

“Before you start threatening me with your beast, you should know that you cannot torture me. It won’t work. I lost my daughter. I won’t give up my revenge even if you had me dying with a thousand cuts. So I suggest you stop wasting your time and go spend her last moments with her.”

Akutagawa gulped. He knew a real threat when he saw one. And Scott wasn’t lying. There was no point threatening him with pain and death because he would not have given up on doing what would hurt Y/N the most. Her death sounded like a warm welcome for Scott.

But Akutagawa tried. Again and again he tried, at one point even getting on his knees and begging. However, the end result was the same. Scott hated Akutagawa by association. He couldn’t understand how Akutagawa could love a murderer like her, when she wasn’t any better with him than she was with Maggie.

“I love her.”

Akutagawa whispered, looking down, his knees scraped and shoulders slumped.

“Then you are doomed.”

The sound of the huge clock ticking in the background reminded Akutagawa that he was really in a hurry. If Scott wasn’t helping he needed to find another way. He slowly got up, not bothering to brush the dust off the knees of his pants. He looked at the door, defeated.

“Before you go, I want you to know something.”

Scott sipped his tea slowly.

“Yes?”

Akutagawa turned to him with a question mark on his face.

“After our last little encounter, I did a bit of research on our mutual friend.”

“Y/N?”

“Who else. So.. guess what, her power, ‘weigh down on me’ is not what you all think it is.”

“Hmm?”

Akutagawa wrinkled his forehead. What does he mean by that?

“She is not taking abilities away from users and using them as her own. She is a vessel. She is trying to find the perfect fit.”

“A vessel?”

“Hasn’t she ever told you how she tried to practice keeping an ability longer than 10 minutes but she could never do it?”

“She might have mentioned it. What about it?”

“Any ability user can grow their power with practice. But why can’t she?”

“Stop with the riddles, Doctor Scott.”

“It’s not a riddle, Ryunosuke. Your girlfriend’s body is a vessel and it’s rejecting the abilities that does not fit her. There is one true ability that’s gonna fuse with her perfectly and make her one of the most powerful ability users ever lived, albeit coupled with a short ritual. Can you guess what it is?”

“What?”

“Surely you’d understand by now where I’m getting at. Think”

Akutagawa stood there, frozen. How powerful was she the last time she sucked in a power. How she eradicated an entire army of Vampires and saved them both.

It couldn’t be.. Could it?

“Smart boy, you’re right. It is Rashomon.”

His heart stopped. She’s.. She’s..

“But-”

He stuttered.

“But then, how does it return back to you?” Scott asked the question Akuatagwa couldn’t phrase. He nodded.

“..As I said, what you gun toting, sword wielding brutes fail to search and find is the ritual to open her body enough to contain the entirety of Rashomon. The demon you control is so much more than some simple commands Ryunosuke. But it cannot reach its full potential without Y/N. You’ll still be the owner of course. But Y/N is everything. The amplifier. The conduit. To put it shortly, you two are meant for each other.”

While Akutagawa shook in his boots trying to grasp at the words, Scott talked some more.

“I hope you understand what this means. If you can give her Rashomon right now, she would become virtually indestructible, which means she’ll wake up from the coma and walk right out of that hospital without so much as a scratch on her. In fact, the ritual is in that book.”

He pointed at a notebook on a table nearby. Akutagawa’s eyes fell on the book but he still couldn’t form enough coherent thoughts about the situation.

If this could save Y/N, why is this evil motherfucker telling me about this?

“Wh-why tell me?”

To that, Scott laughed. It was full of pain and anguish and hate. The sound was bitter and prickly in Akutagawa’s ears.

“My god, Ryunosuke, keep up. She is still Y/N. She still has to use her powers to get Rashomon into her body. She still has to touch you and s-”

“She cannot.”

“Exactly. My condition.. it’s still intact. Goodbye Ryunosuke. I hope you won’t cry too much over her corpse.”

—--

Akutagawa’s hands tightened at the wheel. Scott’s words were echoing in his head. Scott was doing this with so much hatred in his heart. Akutagawa had the book, the ritual, the knowledge and Rashomon to save her from death but he was still powerless. One dumb thing was keeping him from saving the girl that was supposed to be his soulmate.

Soulmate.

From the very moment they met, he had been drawn to her, literally being dragged through the air towards her. Even before they ever laid eyes on each other, they have been made out of the same pieces of the universe, they are meant to find each other, fuse with each other, combine and make each other powerful. With her, he could have done anything. With her, he could have the world by the throat. One of the most powerful ability users. Oh the potential of their connection, if that didn’t make them soulmates, he didn’t know what else could.

But.. But!

He couldn’t do anything but watch her die. He couldn’t do a damn thing.

“Fuckkkkkkk!!!”

He screamed at the windshield. He screamed until his ears rang. The world, destiny, fate and the gods had come together to conspire against them. His life was slipping from his fingers getting pulled into the void. He felt helpless. Utterly hopeless.

She was dying. And he was already dead.

At the hospital, when Dazai was yelling at him, Akutagawa just stared, he had no energy left to fight back. He clutched the notebook he had taken from Scott’s house, knuckles gone white, heart no longer trying to keep him alive, brain numb.

Dazai was still yelling, not at him now, at Fukuzawa. Akuatagwa still didn’t know what business Y/N had with the president. He didn’t care. He walked off from them, passing Yukina and Chuuya, into her hospital room and sat down, summoning and allowing Rashomon to stay close to her, feeling her fading heartbeat.

Akutagawa sucked in a breath through his mouth and blinked rapidly to clear away his tears. He wanted to see her, there weren’t any time to waste. He remembered only the good times, there was only good times with her. Even when she told him to leave her, he knew she did it out of love, scared that he’d die because of an accident. She chose his life over both their happiness. There was something so reverent about it. So holy. And holy things were supposed to dwell on sacred grounds. And the graveyard was one after all.

Akutagawa was ready to accept defeat. He was waiting until the monitors flatlined. He’d hold her hand then, and die right then and there with her, there was no life without her by his side. Rashomon crawled a bit higher and rested right at Y/N’s heart as if she also wanted to feel her heart giving up. Akutagawa placed his hand over hers, feeling her fingers through the thin white hospital blanket.

“I think we’re gonna have to have our first kiss in the next life.”

Chapter Text

“Ryunosuke wait!”

Yukina slammed the door open, her face mixed with horror as if she knew about the self-righteous suicide he was about to commit.

He looked up without pulling his hand away from where it was resting over Y/N’s. Yukina sighed a breath of relief seeing the fabric between their hands.

“...Scott’s coming.”

—-

4 days later.

“He is such. A. bitch.”

Akutagawa sighed looking at Rashomon huddling in Y/N’s lap. Scott had healed her, but still hadn’t lifted his condition to allow them to touch. Y/N laughed silently.

“Well.. At least he saved my life.”

“Yeah but that’s because he is a selfish prick.”

“Ryu.. He is hurting. He lost his daughter. I killed her.”

Akutagawa snapped.

“When are you ever gonna forgive yourself for that, huh? It’s not like you forced her to give you her ability. It was consensual. And her death, as far as I’m concerned, was an accident.”

“But it wasn’t, Ryu. I could have left, instead I tried to get one last hit in.”

“You were a junkie!”

“Wow, thanks.”

“No moron. You were a junkie, you weren’t thinking straight. If anything, Scott should have helped you both, he is the doctor. You were teenagers. He could have saved you both from yourselves. But that’s not the point, Y/N. The point is, its not fair that he is still punishing you for this. It’s not fair that you are still punishing yourself for it, baby.”

She looked down, petting Rashomon who nuzzled closer. Her eyes then went to the horizon.

“Ryu.. are we still.. Are we still together?”

It came out of nowhere. Or maybe it didn’t, he did call her baby. They didn’t really have ‘the talk’ after they broke up. After Scott saved her from surrendering to certain death with the condition that they’d find whatever the fuck this “page” was and bring Maggie back within a month, they didn’t really have time to sit down and talk about relationships.

Thanks to whatever was looking after Y/N from destiny’s side, Yukina had heard the conversation between Fukuzawa and Dazai about Y/N asking to bring Maggie back with the ‘page’ they were searching for. Yukina was able to put two and two together fast, as the one person who knew all necessary threads of the story, and they called Scott and got him to help Y/N.

“Hm… I don’t know, Y/N. You kicked me out.”

“Because I-”

“I know why you did it. You don’t have to say it. But I don’t know where it leaves us too. I don’t want to stop this. You’re supposed to be mine.” Rashomon lifted her head a bit. “..and Rashomon’s, yes.”

“Life is a joke.” She scoffed. She was right. They had everything they couldn’t have right in front of them.

“Tell you what, we’ll find this damn page, bring your ex back to life, and then we’ll sit down and talk about this because we are really running out of time.”

“We have 26 days left, Ryu.”

“I’m not waiting. I can’t lose you again. Let’s go.”

18 days later.

You’d think finding the page was the hard part. Well, it was hard in the sense there was a lot of physical danger and straining involved. We had to fight, got shot at, chased down, hunted, trapped, threatened and every other violent verb you could think of, but between the port mafia and detective agency resources (unofficially of course), we were able to track down the page.

The horror began after it was in our possession.

Imagine having to manage a room full of egoistic grown ass men who never really had to think about the mental state of a resurrected girl but trying really hard to understand it overnight with zero references. This situation came to be when I summoned Scott to Osamu’s house, along with Yukichi who never really allowed anybody else to be in possession of the page. The reason for the meeting was, we were finally going to write Maggie back to life but we wanted to do it in the least harmful way to the reality as well as Maggie herself.

Being resurrected can only be a huge trauma for anybody. So we were writing and erasing and rewriting what should be written on the page before we actually did it. This then turned into a philosophical debate because everybody had strong opinions, and by the end of the day, there were 5 men and me standing around a whiteboard yelling at each other.

“OKay this is ENOUGH! She is MY daughter. Mine! I get to decide how the fuck she comes back to life!”

Scott was yelling.

“Yeah well, if we write Maggie lives, who knows what would happen. She could wake up from her grave for all we know.” Chuuya chimed in.

“We already had vampires. No need for Zombies too.” Ryunosuke nodded. I frowned at him.

“They are right, Sco-” I started.

“Oh shut up. You don’t even get a say in this. You are the murderer.” Scott snapped at me.

“I fucking found the page, didn’t I? I’m tryna fix my mistake so would you get off my back and let me freaking help?!”

I yelled right back at him. How dare he insult me when I was doing everything in my power to correct my mistake.

Osamu crossed off ‘Maggie Lives’ on the board.

“Maggie appears as a human and has no trauma about her death?” He asked from the audience.

“Appears sounds ambiguous. Also Human? That could mean anything.” Ryunosuke shrugged.

“Really? Really? What else could possibly be the meaning of the word Human?” Osamu used the opportunity to bully Ryunosuke. He had not given up on trying to cut Ryu down for the relationship between me and him.

“Maggie lives and has no trauma about her death?” Chuuya interrupted.

“Add something about the present. I feel like we should specify that this applies from this point forward.” I proposed and Chuuya nodded in agreement. Osamu changed the sentence written on the whiteboard.

Maggie continuous to live from this moment in time and has no trauma about her death. She also will have no side effects from her death.

“Looks good. Write it.” Scott urged. “I SAID WRITE IT IN THE FUCKING BOOK!”

Yukichi sighed.

“Mr. Scott, I understand that you are the closest to this.. situation. But you are also too close. Please calm down. We have enough time to do this right but we don’t have second chances.”

The way Yukichi talked, nobody could really oppose him. He had that calm authority in his voice and everybody went silent and sat down.

After the discussion that dragged onto the early morning of the next day, we had formulated an acceptable sentence to bring Maggie back. Everybody agreed that it looked good, covered all the bases, and had minimum chance to go wrong. Everybody decided to give it one more hour, just to be safe, just to have some rest and think about any outliers, or edge cases. Chuuya and Osamu had fallen asleep on the couch with their heads pressed together, Scott was pacing around the living room, occasionally staring at the white board and Yukichi was outside, enjoying the cool breeze after a heated night.

I stepped outside to see him staring into the sky, Venus still burning brightly on the horizon despite the sun coming up.

“Yukichi..”

I called, and he looked over his shoulder. I sat down on the floor of the front porch and he joined me. We stayed silent, looking at the sky until a cool wind breezed past us and I shivered. Without missing a beat he put his arm around me and pulled me close to his side, his Yukata and body heat combined to help me stay warm.

I was only surprised because, he had never fucking done this before!!

“Yukichi what are you doing?”

I was fully stiff, and guarded.

“Because of the recent.. events that happened in our lives, Y/N, I’m beginning to understand some things about myself.”

He talked.

“Uh huh?”

“Relax, I’m not trying to kill you.”

“Would have been better than you hugging me, Wolf.”

“Do you remember our last conversation?”

“Having a really hard time breathing here”

“I told you that you never understood that I considered you my own. But the thing is I may not have been the best at showing it.”

“..?”

“Mr Scott going haywire over the fact that he is getting a second chance to see his daughter really put things into perspective for me. I got my second chance too. Y/N, when you left my care to live with the love of your life, I didn’t chase you down or even try to stay in your life. I just let you go disappear into the domestic bliss. I wasn’t there to help you when you messed up. The path you went down was partly my fault. Now you’re here again, and I have the opportunity to amend, if you have me?”

“Yukichi you’re freaking me out”

“You’re the daughter I never had.”

“Okay, that’s enough.”

I wriggled my way out and he laughed. I rolled my eyes shaking my head.

“It’s not funny.” I hissed.

“No it’s not. But I’m gonna be more involved in your life. And my first meddling is, I do not approve of your relationship with Akutagawa Ryunosuke.”

“Get in line, buddy.”

“Dazai’s right to go ballistic about it.”

“Why aren’t you disapproving his relationship with Chuuya, then?”

“Oh I already did. But they are adults.”

“So am I.”

“Barely.”

“Fuck you..”

6 hours later.

Maggie stood there, manifested out of thin air. Scott made an inhumane sound and hugged her, Akutagawa’s eyes immediately went to Y/N.

She was frozen in time, tears falling down her eyes, sense of relief gushing over her. Scott was crying, hugging his daughter, Y/N was clenching her fists watching.

Everybody else stood around, marveled by the miracle they had just performed.

After ten or more minutes of hugging and crying, Scott finally stepped aside and Maggie locked her gaze with Y/N. They stared at each other, Maggie walked towards her and Y/N just stood there, new streams of tears starting to flow.

“I’m sorry.. I’m so sorry for what I did to you. Oh.. oh god I’m sorry Maggie I’m so-” She started sobbing suddenly, and Maggie pulled her close by the nape and kissed!

Akutagawa’s eyes widened. Y/N’s hands were spasming beside her, she hadn’t grabbed Maggie just yet, she didn’t even seemed to be kissing her back, rather sobbing into Maggie’s mouth while Maggie’s embrace tightened. Everybody was too shocked to react to what was happening, Dazai was smirking at Akutagawa, Chuuya was whispering in Dazai’s ear, Fukuzawa was rubbing his temple, and Scott was still crying in a corner thanking gods. Akutagawa was seething and didn’t even feel it until Rashomon had crawled towards them and pulled Y/N back enough to break the kiss. Rashomon stood between them, staring down at Maggie with glowing red eyes.

“Rashomon!” Y/N gasped.

“Who do we have here…? Hello little beasty.. Nice to meet you.”

Maggie waved at Rashomon like she had encountered some dog.

“Rashomon! Stop growling at her!” Y/N ordered despite nobody else being able to hear Rashomon’s voice. She faced Y/N and moved in waves in the air.

Y/N’s cheeks went red. “She’s.. We’re.. I’m figuring it out, okay?! Just go back inside!”

But Rashomon held her ground.

“Ryu!” Y/N yelled at Akutagawa next.

“Rashomon, let’s go.” Akutagawa pulled Rashomon back in, gave Y/N a look, and left.

1 day later.

Akutagawa had spent his entire night remembering the way they kissed. There were so many feelings and he was rattled. Y/N and Akutagawa had still not figured out their relationship and the previous “Love of her life” coming back to life was not going according to the plan he had inside his head.

Get Maggie to live.
Get Scott to lift the curse.
Get Y/N.

Three simple steps had gone tits up. Now he had competition for her affection.

He heard the front door open.

“Go away, Chuuya. I’m not in the mood.”

He yelled from the bed.

“Can’t do anything even if you were in the mood, Ryu.”

It was Y/N who entered his bedroom. He sprung up from the bed.

“Chuuya gave me the key and told me you’d probably be sulking.”

“Please leave.”

“Nope.”

She sat on his table on Chuuya’s usual spot. Rashomon also came out but didn’t make any attempt to jump into Y/N’s arms which was the usual practice.

“Don’t you have some woman to go kiss?”

Akutagawa asked bitterly. Y/N seemed surprised at first, but then she laughed.

“Oh my god, are you jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous? It’s not like we are dating or anything. We broke up, remember?”

“Oh I remember.” She was clearly amused. Akutagawa looked away, resting his back on the headboard. She didn’t really care all that much about his disgruntled expressions. Instead she called Rashomon by extending her hands.

“Come here, baby.”

But Rashomon stayed still.

“Rashomon, come on I missed you.”

She insisted again, but Rashomon didn’t even move. Y/N’s mouth curved upwards.

“Seriously, you’re jealous too?”

Akutagawa smirked into the air. At least somebody was on his side.

Y/N gasped, as if Rashomon said something unacceptable.

“You shut your mouth.” She aimed her index finger at the beast, scolding her like a teacher with her pre-school student.

“Hey I wasn’t hoeing. I was just saying sorry.”

“..I wasn’t kissing her back!”

“..No. no, nope. You’re so wrong about that.”

“..Jesus Christ he did what?”

“..Of course I do!”

“..Well, ask your owner, I’m here aren’t I?”

And Rashomon turned back to Akutagawa.

“What?” He asked.

“She’s asking if you wanna get back together.” Y/N translated the Rashomon silence.

“With you?” Akutagawa asked, looking over Rashomon at Y/N.

“Yes. Apparently you were ready to die multiple times because I was almost dead. Rashomon says even though we can’t be together, we shouldn’t be apart.”

Akuatagawa looked back at the beast. She nodded slowly. He looked back at Y/N.

“Of course we shouldn’t be apart, moron. I love you.”

Chapter Text

“Tell me why I’m the only one who gets undressed every time.”

I complained while pulling my T-shirt over my head. Ryu was drawing circles on the floor following the instructions of the notebook. He looked up at me, sitting cross-legged. There was a slight blush on his face.

“Tell me why I always forget that’s how it’s gonna go and wear the tightest pants I own every fucking time.” he grumbled, pulling down the fabric of his pants trying to adjust himself. I chuckled, throwing my t-shirt onto the chair.

“Enough silliness. Strip.”

He changed the vibe fast. I gasped, hurrying to obey his order. I was standing in front of him, in my underwear, shying under his keen gaze. He stood up after he finished drawing all the circles on the floor.

“Easier if you’re lying down.”

He extended his arm towards my bed and gulped, slowly backing away and resting my back on the mattress. My legs were dangling off the bed. He sat down beside me, dipping his finger into the bowl of red liquid we had prepared earlier. I could feel his eyes trying to set fire to my naked skin.

“Ryu?”

“Yeah I was just.. never mind. Let’s do this.”

It felt cold on my stomach as he started to draw on me. Ryunosuke was meticulous, his eyes squinted as he matched every line and curve until the runes drawn on me were identical to the ones that were sketched in Scott’s notebook. When he traced my skin, I could feel myself tingling with the sensation. I had to force myself to hold my ragged breath so I wouldn't ruin what he was doing. My thighs were pressed together and I could feel my underwear getting wet from the heat pooling between my legs. An uncontrollable moan escaped my throat and got muffled between my lips. He looked into my eyes, and leaned closer to me, his breath hitching.

“Ryu..”

I held my arm up and he pressed his cheek onto my palm and I could feel him melting into the touch. He turned and kissed my palm, licking it and biting, growling. His eyes were heavy and half lidded and he started to slowly bite down my wrist leaving open mouth kisses but he pulled away when he got to my elbow.

“Hrrr..ghh.. we can’t..”

He groaned as if it was physically paining him to pull away from me. Even though Scott had lifted his curse on us for bringing Maggie back, he told us and I quote ‘get the ritual done first and fuck second. You’ll thank me later.’

We had agreed like fools. Now we were drawing chalk circles on Osamu’s wooden floorboards like Kindergartners being left unsupervised.

I cursed under my breath, pulling myself up. I couldn't be annoyed at the ritual itself because.. having Rashomon inside of me felt better than sex last time. And if the ritual is successful, it would feel even better.

“Let’s do this.”

I clapped my palms together, shaking away the horny.

Ryu had already started to light the candles. In a couple of minutes, we were sitting on the floor, facing each other, surrounded by burning candles, and sweating.

“Ready?”

“Ready.”

Sweat glistening on her skin had driven Akutagawa to the lowest edges of his self control but he persisted through the ritual. Rashomon slowly slithered as if the ritual demanded the slow sensual suspense. Y/N had her eyes rolled up as the beast slowly snaked on her body, the black tendrils wrapping around her. Y/N’s thighs were clenching. Akuatagawa could feel that Rashomon was no longer under his control but she wasn’t quite Y/N’s yet too. Rashomon’s tendrils slid under Y/N’s breasts and around her thighs. She whimpered.

“Oh.. Rashomon..”

Y/N opened her arms and the beast started to travel on her arms too, covering and wrapping and tightening. Sweat beads rolled down Y/N’s neck as she arched back, Rashomon bit into her neck. Akutagawa had never seen Rashomon manifest teeth for her before, it was always red eyes and the pointy chin trying to look cute but the beast was in her real form right now. She wasn’t biting to draw blood but biting to claim her vessel. She went around Y/N, tightening the grasps on Y/N’s limbs and looked over her shoulder at Akutagawa. Rashomon’s eyes were glowing redder than ever before, she bore out her teeth and sunk them into Y/N’s shoulder.

“Hrrrrgh.. Ah..”

Y/N yelped in pain.

“Rashomon!”

Akuatagawa hissed but the beast stared down at him to silence him.

Akutagawa was clenching his teeth, lost in the moment. He didn’t hear the footsteps coming up the stares until the door slammed open. Both Rashomon and Akuatagawa’s heads snapped towards the door, but Y/N remained locked in her trans.

“Stop having sex!”

It was Dazai, yelling at them.

“We are not.”

Akuatagawa replied.

“She is literally naked!”

“We are doing a ritual to hand Rashomon over to her.”

Akuatagawa explained.

“That’s worse!”

Dazai yelled stepping into the room but Rashomon summoned a tentacle out of the thin air, pushed Dazai back and slammed the door shut. She put the lock and kept the tentacle pressed to the door. Dazai was yelling outside.

“Akutagawa I will kill you!!”

“After this!”

Akuatagawa yelled back. He could hear Chuuya’s voice, some struggles and the banging on the door stopped. Chuuya had dragged Dazai away, letting them continue.

Rashomon got right back into business. By this point, almost all of Y/N was covered in Rashomon, and she placed her chin on top of Y/N’s head. Rashomon was fusing into Y/N, slowly sinking into the skin until Rashomon completely drowned in Y/N. Then came the silence.

Silence.
Silence.
Silence.

The candle flames were dancing slowly, and her chest rise and fell. Her neck and back was still arched, veins taught, muscles tight, fists clenched. Akutagawa was worried. Had the ritual gone wrong?

Her neck snapped back up.

Her eyes were glowing, retinas burning red and she smiled. He could see her canines gone sharp, nails a bit long and the shadow that was casted by the candlelight was not of Y/N but of Rashomon.

“R̝̬̫̱̐̋y̾͊̒̃ͧ͆ͣ̀҉̝̼̖̙ưͨ̅҉͚̫̩̳̣̠ͅ ”

Her voice was.. Layered. It had an echo that sent shivers down Akuatagawa’s spine. He wasn’t sure if she was Rashomon or Y/N or both. But he did feel something. He felt powerful. As the moments went by, the power grew and grew until it was almost out of control. He felt like the power was overflowing from his fingertips. He could feel Rashomon’s essence invading the mortal world like a demonic whirlwind. It felt hungry, possessive. He wasn’t sure if he could even control this much power on his own. But right now, that wasn’t what he was worried about.

“Y/N.. Are you.. You?”

She laughed. Deep, sultry, demonic. But still her. And something else. She leaned in, candlelight dancing inside her red eyes, her wet lips almost at his, her hot breath kissing the tip of his nose, heat radiating off of her like a furnace. His fingers spasmed, at last he could touch her without all the plastic, leather gloves or glasses. Her tongue was slightly pointier than usual, he noticed when she wet her already glistening lips again.

“R̼̳͚͔ͬ͐͆̆̿y̺͔͔̘̻̑̂uͭ̆̋̂ͨ.̪̜͉̓͛̿̎̊.̟̤̰͌ͤ̚ ̀̀ͤ͆̈Ḭ̞̌ͭ̇̿̂t͉̫̦̙̱ͮ́̅͌̽’s͍ ̲̗̖̙͎ͩn̦̥̞o̥̯͕̖̺̅̏t̀̏ͯ͑̓ ̎̊̔̒̔t̰̐ͣ̃̐̅h͎̱̪̥̮̄ͬ̋e̞̘̎̀ͧ ͔̘͓̰̫̅̿n̤̐ēx̺̣̟̣͑͋͆tͬ̋ͥ̇ͨ ̯̥̝̱̗̅l̟̜͖̞͑̇̈́ͪ̉ḭ͎̝͊͐f̭̦̗ͧͭ̊̒͑e̯̾̈̅̀…̞ “ She whispered. He gulped.

“Ḃ̫̜͆̋̎̾u̥ͮ͒̂ͪť̝̊ͣ͊ ̣̦͉͕̭̏a͖̳͙̗ͨr̥̫͍̻̔e͇̹͈ ̝̮̌y̝̰̲̗o͎͈̹̼͈u̖̘̦͂ͧͣ̉̓ ͓̙̠̒r̹̘é͙̋ͤ̇a͚d̒y͙̝̼͕͔̅̐͆͆ ̘̙͕͙͐̆f̝̪̯͉ͨ̅̌͛̅o̝̬̰̍r͖̳̖̃ ̳̝̤͇̖ͪͩ̽o͇̠̔ͮu̹͂r̖͖͖̲̻̉̏̓ ̼̮̠̞ͣ͗ẽ͉v̜͍͎e̠̹̗̪͕r̙̯̗̲̒̒̓͂y͑tͪ̋̌̒h̝̱̠ͯi̺̼͇͓̲ͮ͂̐ͫn̋͂̆ͬg̖͉͓̼̒ͥ̚"

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Author's note.

Hey guys, Assalt here. so I'm ending the story here, unless of course if I ever have the urge to explore what comes next for these characters. But for now, I feel like this is a good place to stop and let it breath. I had an incredibly nice time writing this and I hope you had the same reading it. If you're reading this which means you have gotten to the end of the story.

Leave a comment what you think Rashomon and Y/N would girl-talk about when Akutagawa is sleeping exhausted from all the sex, lol. I might write another chapter including all those ideas ❤️

Thank you so much for reading. I love you. <3