Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

Looking back, Tav supposed she did perhaps remember one previous incident.

It was only the second time they’d slept together – Astarion was a fantastic lover, of course, and remarkably selfless, more attuned to her needs than any of her previous lovers had ever been. And, infuriatingly, he knew he was a fantastic lover, the cocky little bastard. As though he had it down to a science – because, of course, he did.

But now, as they slept in his tent, having exhausted themselves completely hours earlier, she was startled awake by the sound of him hurriedly pulling on his pants, cursing under his breath. She lifted her head silently.

“Where are you going?”

He startled, then turned to meet her gaze. “Nowhere, darling, just thought I heard a noise, going to take a look” he assured her in a hushed whisper.

Tav rubbed the sleep from her eyes and began reaching for her dagger. “I’ll go with you,” she said, pushing herself up from the bedroll.

“No, ah, there’s no need,” Astarion insisted, his voice sounding a bit more frantic now. “Go back to sleep, my dear, I’ll take care of it.”

“It could be an ambush,” Tav continued, not to be deterred. “I’ll just—”

“Impero tibi!” Astarion cast the spell in a strained voice, and a wave of sleep overtook her as he dashed out of the tent.

- Several Weeks Later -

Feeding on Tav truly was the best way to start the morning.

He was incredibly grateful to her for allowing him to drink her blood – and his enjoyment was doubled, even tripled, by their late-night trysts - when he delighted in returning the favor.

His plan to form an alliance with her had been simple, even easy. At first.

But now, having slept with her and fed from her, he could certainly understand how some Vampire Lords went mad with jealousy, consumed by their possessive obsession for their mated spawns.

To have her so intimately, to touch every part of her and feel her blood running through him – it was intoxicating, and terrifying.

But it was more than that. It was… her. She was… different. It was terribly annoying.

On this particular morning, they had all woken up early to prepare to walk through the lower city, having finally reached their destination.

Tav had eaten her breakfast quickly, as everyone else was preparing their packs, and had proceeded to his tent with her wry little half-smile, revealing a single dimple he’d grown to adore.

“Ate two extra eggs this morning,” she bragged, pulling her hair away from her neck, craning it toward him in offering. “We’ll need the protein to visit all the shops.”

And so, he drank from her, until his belly was pleasantly full (he had hunted a few small animals already, before anyone else had awoken, in preparation for their day in the city). He had closed his eyes, his mouth latched gently onto her neck, as the morning sun warmed their skin.

It was the happiest he could remember feeling in a long time.

Now he was practically giddy as he, Shadowheart, and Gale waited at the edge of camp, waiting for their fearless leader to join them and head out.

“Here's my little treat, with her cheeks all flushed. You will come to my bed tonight, won't you?"

She gave him that same little half-smile, dimple and all. “Mmm, I’ll think about it,” she hummed, but she raised her eyebrows in exaggerated innocence and made quite a show of brushing lightly against him as she made her way to the head of the group.

Cheeky little pup indeed…

- Five Hours Later -

On one hand, he was thoroughly enjoying the banter with his companions, and Tav in particular, as they bounced from building to building, taking in every moment of the bustling city – and gathering intel as they went along.

On the other hand, it had been impossible to slip away without someone noticing, even for a moment. And as the blood made its way through his system, that was becoming a real problem.

His bladder was full. That was troublesome enough for anyone in such a crowded place, particularly one with very few public privies to begin with. But even those wouldn’t be an option to him – he needed absolute privacy, had needed total discretion in such matters for as long as he could remember…

“Ahhhh, thanks for stopping again, friends!” Gale’s obnoxiously perky voice interrupted his thoughts, as the wizard adjusted his robes, emerging from the outhouse. This was the fourth time he’d had to stop and watch his companions find the relief he himself couldn’t have.

Don’t murder the wizard, Astarion, he told himself, staring straight ahead. You’ll spoil the mood for everyone else.

~~~

Finally, they arrived at the Elfsong Tavern. Astarion and Tav made their way into their room, the two of them dropping their packs on the ground and stretching their sore shoulders.

“So how was it, seeing the city during the day?” Tav asked.

But Astarion hadn’t heard her – in fact, he looked miles away, a grimace of discomfort on his face.

"Are you alright?"

“Oh I'm fine!” he trilled, forcing a smile and smoothing the back of his hair. “I just, um… I..."

Her eyes locked with his, and he found his mind frustratingly blank trying to come up with a lie. She had such a peculiar expression on her face – so trusting, so… determined, as though she was willing to conquer any problem that was facing him. She made that expression at him often, and it always had this effect on him.

He blushed, unable to bring himself to say it, and the cadence of his voice dropped. "I've needed to, ah, use the privy..." he winced, "all day, really."

Even as the words were out of his mouth, he couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to say them.

Tav stared at him blankly now, as though he’d spoken another language. She was never at a loss for words, and to see it now was unsettling.

"…What?” he hissed, desperate to break the silence.

"Do vampires pee?"

Astarion was flummoxed at the absurd question. "Of course we do! We drink blood, don’t we?” His voice was high in pitch now, his arms gesturing in exasperation. “And all the bottom-barrel wine we keep at camp? Do you think all that liquid just goes POOF into thin air?!”

The edges of her lips tweaked upward – she was smiling at his animated response. But somehow… it didn't feel as though she was mocking him. She wasn't laughing at his misfortune, but rather... was delighted by him. Laughing with him, and not at him, as it were. She had a way of doing that; he found it to be a rather addictive feeling.

He winced, shifting from leg to leg – his need was becoming more and more urgent, and his tension was rising with it.

"And, strictly speaking, it's your fault I've ended up in this situation," he added, the flirtatious lilt to his voice returning, if not a bit strained. Tav raised her eyebrows inquisitively.

"If you hadn't enticed me this morning with that gorgeous neck of yours, I wouldn't have anything in my system to begin with!"

Her smile widened at his teasing, and she shook her head and shrugged. "It's just, I've never heard you mention having to go before…"

"That's because I don't shout it from the rooftops! Unlike the rest of our rag-tag companions, I don't feel the need to announce it in civilized conversation!" He sneered.

"Well you could have stopped at any time when the others did," she rebutted. "Gale has the bladder of a kitten, it's not as if you didn't have the opportunity."

But as she spoke, his smile was fading, and he felt a cold, familiar wave of dread building.

Tav knelt down and rummaged noisily underneath the bed, and finally brandished a (thankfully unused) chamber pot, setting it down in front of them and opening the lid.

"There you go, then," she stated matter-of-factly, and made her way over to her bags to begin unpacking. “I’m going to prepare a bath.”

Astarion shifted uneasily as he stared at the chamber pot. "I... I can't."

"What?"

"I can't, in front of people! Or even if there is anyone remotely nearby. It’s—”

He felt a sharp, sudden pang of need – his situation was becoming dire, and his body was warning him as clearly as possible. Instinctively, his hand began to reach for his groin; he forced it to a stop. "It's just another lasting effect of my master’s hospitality."

"Cazador did this?"

"He would gorge us with the blood of vermin, and make us hold it until we were writhing with pain," he recalled, his eyes clouding over at the painful memory. "Told us how filthy we were, how even a trained dog could hold their waters." His voice trailed off. "And as soon as our muscles would fail, he would be there to dole out the punishment." His face twisted in disgust. "To admonish us for our sin of urinating in his presence, even if it had been days since he'd last allowed us to..."

Tav gaped at him with a look of horror. "I'm so sorry."

He closed his eyes, certain he wouldn’t be able to continue if he kept looking at her. "Somewhere along the way, my body learned its lesson. Unless I am completely and utterly alone..." He was finding difficulty even putting it into words. "Well... not a drop." He opened his eyes, but kept them low to the ground, and crossed his legs. Then, through clenched teeth: "…No matter how badly I have to go."

Tav looked confused. "Is it... some kind of curse? Something a healer could look into?" Her eyes trailed to the door. "Perhaps we could have Shadowheart-"

"NO—" he shouted, then cleared his throat and lowered his voice, immediately regretting sounding so harsh. "…No, darling, it's nothing like that, it—"

The pressure was becoming unbearable now - talking about it was making it all the worse, as though his bladder heard them and was angry for the delay.

"Agh, w-will you excuse me for a moment?" Even as he said it, he was making his way to the door. "I need to get to somewhere private."

Tav stood up, preparing to exit in his stead. "Don't be silly, you stay here. I'll wait down in the tavern for you, and you come get me after-"

"No!" His voice cracked, eyes wincing with desperation. He would not hold himself like a child in front of her. He would not.

His whole body began to flush, and he felt as though the ground might fall out from beneath him.

"It won't work, because you'll still be waiting on me, and I'll be standing there knowing you're waiting on me, and you’ll know that I know, and I can’t—"

He felt the smallest of leaks building at the tip of his penis. "I'll be back!"

And with a flash of light, he was gone, leaving a rather perturbed Tav standing there, at a complete loss for what to do.

~~~

Astarion had just barely made it to the back alley behind the inn - stinking and ridden with trash, but thankfully empty, not another soul in sight - before releasing a furious stream of piss against the crumbling cobblestone.

Gods, what she must think of me now, he thought miserably, watching the puddle grow larger and larger until he had to readjust his stance to prevent getting it on his boots. Given different circumstances, he’d likely remark on the irony; his piss was likely the cleanest thing to have touched that alley in years...

His chest contracted painfully, his body frozen as his mind took him back to the catacombs of Cazador's dungeon. In his mind's eye, he was lying naked on a filthy bedroll, his wrists and ankles rubbed raw from the heavy chains binding him to the floor.

"Gods be damned, Astarion, too much of a mongrel to even hold your piss?" Cazador's mocking tone echoed through his head. Shame and fury and disgust pooled in his stomach as his exhausted cockhead failed him, hot piss spraying in uncontrollable rivulets against his freezing skin.

“Get a hold of yourself,” he hissed through his teeth, his eyes clenched shut as he tried to ground himself back into the present reality. For a moment, he feared he might lose consciousness, his entire body growing uncomfortably hot as he fought to keep the image at bay.

He couldn't tell how long he had been standing there - long enough that his bladder was now empty, and he was now standing against the wall, cock-in-hand, panting like an animal.

He couldn't possibly look Tav in the eye, couldn't possibly live up to the expectations he'd set for himself in the bedroom, when he could barely stand.

And from what? he thought bitterly. Were you mortally wounded? Exhausted from intense manual labor? Oh no, of course not, just having a panic attack about taking a fucking piss.

Pathetic.

He tried to tell himself that going back to their room would go against his plan. He didn't want to sully her opinion of him - didn't want her to think of him as anything but the insatiable sex fiend he'd portrayed himself as. Without his sensuality, he'd have no way of keeping her under his thumb, after all. He had to keep her wanting more - and returning to their room, limp-dicked and flushed with panic from nothing but mere memories, was sure to have the opposite effect.

He told himself it was a purely tactical move. It had nothing to do with how... compassionate she'd seemed. Had nothing to do with the little divot between her eyebrows as they furrowed with concern for him.

And it certainly had nothing to do with the way her expression brightened in reverence every time she caught his eye across the battlefield.

Nothing at all to do with the clever little quips she wrote into her ballads, singing his praises - as though he were a perfectly capable, strong, self-assured man - a man she could lean on without fear of breaking him.

His earlier words rung through his head:

"Here's my little treat, with her cheeks all flushed. You will come to my bed tonight, won't you?"

That was the man she was expecting, as she waited upstairs in their private room, likely looking absolutely delicious.

He couldn't bear to let her find out he was nothing of the sort. Shoving himself back into his pants, he disappeared into the shadows, desperate to forget himself in a few hours of mindless hunting.

~~~

By the time he returned, Tav was not only finished with her bath, but had fallen asleep, candle still burning, curled into the blankets with a book.

As soon as the doors opened, she jolted awake.

“So sorry, darling, I didn’t mean to wake you!” Astarion grinned, returning to the familiar comfort of his boisterous, jovial persona.

“Where were you?” Tav croaked, voice thick with sleep, her eyes blinking in protest.

As he unlaced his boots: “I got a bit peckish after finishing that, ah, urgent matter earlier, so I went hunting – took a while, I’m afraid, this close to the city there’s not nearly as much wildlife.”

He took off his jacket and belt, and began to lift his shirt over his head – then decided against it. Best not to open up the temptation, he thought. To either of us.

“So sorry I wasn’t here to warm your bed, darling,” he said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “I promise I’ll make it up to you in the morning,” he hummed flirtatiously, lifting the covers slightly to ease himself in.

Smack!

Astarion blinked. A single, not-particularly-threatening smack had landed on his forearm, with a rather sleepy yet heated looking Tav – adorable – looking up at him as though he hadn’t even spoken.

“Scared me!” she scolded, scooting her body backward until she was on the far edge of the bed – and for a moment, his heart sank. Had he made her so angry she recoiled at sharing a bed with him? Should he get his own room?

But no – with a small grunt of effort, she took hold of the blankets and held them above the two of them, revealing her sleeping form underneath.

She certainly hadn’t dressed as though she had been expecting sex. He had prepared himself to walk in on her, furious for having been left high and dry, wearing underwear or lingerie - or maybe nothing at all.

But, to his surprise, she was wearing a soft cotton nightgown that covered down to her ankles. He felt a bit of relief at the revelation.

As she held the blankets, it took him a moment to realize what she was waiting for…

“Come on!” she mumbled impatiently, letting her face fall back into the pillow.

Slowly, he climbed into bed beside her, letting out a small sigh as her arm flopped down on top of him, the blankets along with it.

“I was worried about you,” she chided quietly, closing her eyes and readjusting her grip on her pillow. “Just tell me next time.”

For the first time in what felt like ages, he felt the tension leave his body, as though the warmth of her beside him was slowly spreading through him.

She… hadn’t even mentioned the sex. Granted, she was still angry at him, but… because she was scared.

Scared for him.

For some reason, he felt an ache deep in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, but Tav said nothing more.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

“Do you have a moment?” Astarion asked. “…I think we need to talk.”

Tav stopped just outside of his tent and flashed him the half-smile he loved so much. Focus, Astarion… he chided himself.

“What’s up?”

“I wanted to thank you. For what you said, whilst I was in front of that vile drow.”

He clutched his fist, as though trying to physically stifle his emotion.

“I spent 200 years using my body to lure pretty things back for my master. What I wanted, how I felt about what I was doing, it never mattered. I have bedded thousands of people. Half of them I barely remember. Most of them didn’t even grant me temporary bliss. You could have asked me to do the same - to throw myself at her, what I wanted be damned…

And here, his tone became lighter – revelatory.

“…But you didn't.”

He was silent for a moment, eyes widened yet not quite meeting her gaze, as though deep in thought.

“…And I'm grateful.” As though he could scarcely believe it himself.

Tav smiled warmly at him. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

He gave a sarcastic laugh.

“It’s a novel concept, I admit. And a little intimidating. It would have been so easy to bite her. To just go along with what I was being told to do. A moment of disgust to force myself through, and then I could have carried on, just like before. The entire reason for my existence was to seduce anything with a pulse. And every instinct I have tells me that nothing’s changed. That I’m still just a means to an end.”

Tav felt her stomach drop, thinking of all the times she had slept with Astarion. He had certainly always seemed to be enjoying himself – had even been the one to initiate most of their encounters – but she couldn’t stand the thought that she had somehow pushed him into a situation he hadn’t wanted to be in. Perhaps she had also been a means to an end.

“So why did you sleep with me?” she asked as gently as she could. “Did you think you'd get something from it?”

“Well of course!” Astarion answered with a flourish. “I needed protection. People don't trust vampires - perhaps understandably - so I needed to get someone on my side. And seducing you was... easy, frankly.”

He let out a mirthful laugh that didn’t reach his eyes – he’d intended it as a light-hearted tease, but Tav’s expression immediately told him that she was in no laughing mood.

He sighed, and continued.

“So imagine how stupid I felt when I started to…” he gestured vaguely through the air, as though shuffling through his mind for the right words, “genuinely feel something for you.”

Tav felt her heart skip a beat.

“Trust me, I was not happy about it. You were a complication I didn't see coming. And yet…”

Tav wasn’t sure what to say – she felt a twinge of betrayal, of having been used – but there was also a sickening guilt that she wasn’t sure how to assuage.

She held his gaze, but said nothing, waiting for him to continue.

“Look, I… had a plan. A nice, simple plan: seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me.”

Even as he attempted to keep his tone light, he cringed inwardly at the callousness of his words. He really was a rat bastard…

“It was easy - instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in.”

A look of deep sorrow, now, thinly veiled beneath a smile.

“All you had to do… was fall for it.”

He dropped his gaze, his eyes drooping downward as his shame got the better of him.

“And all I had to do was… not fall for you. Which is where my nice, simple plan… fell apart.”

Go on, then, he thought to himself. In for a penny, in for a pound. She’ll never want to speak to you again anyway, you may as well be honest.

He met her gaze, his eyes repentant and… awestruck.

“You-... You're incredible.”

She couldn’t help but smile. Why such a pained expression? she wondered.

“You deserve something real. I want us… to be something real.”

And finally, the weight of the world lifted from her shoulders. So he did feel the same way, after all.

“So do I,” she said, her voice wet with tears she struggled to keep back. “More than anything.”

He smiled, but his brow was still furrowed in consternation. “I just don't know what ‘real’ looks like -  not after two hundred years playing the rake.”  

So maybe he had only been going through the motions during their nights together. Perhaps she had only imagined the deep sexual connection she had felt – the mechanisms of a skilled craftsman, rather than the stirrings of a fledgling relationship.

She felt she had to say something, to clarify exactly where they stood.

“Were you even attracted to me?” she asked, her voice small.

“Of course I was attracted to you!” He threw his hand up in exasperation, but she was happy to see him smile. “Look at you, for goodness' sake!  He gestured toward her enthusiastically, his eyes roaming over her entire form.

“You're a vision,” he continued. “And you're so much more than that. It’s just… I don't think I want you to think of me in terms of sex. I don't know if I want anyone to.

This began to make sense, at least. She knew that Astarion had dealt with sexual trauma in the past, and now that he was discovering his newfound autonomy, he deserved to never have to touch anyone ever again, if that’s what suited him.

But then… was he really just playing a part, all those nights together? Were his feelings for her, strong as they were, completely platonic?

She steeled herself in her resolve – if that were true, she would have to grin and bear it. But she at least had to know.

“So the nights we spent together didn’t… mean anything?” She asked it as neutrally as she could – a simple question of fact.

“Of course they did!”  Tav is almost alarmed at the intensity with which he says it - the ferocity in his eyes, as though he is desperate for her to understand. “That's the problem! Or part of it.”

She released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, and stamped down the selfish thoughts of relief that came with his response.

“Being... close to someone - any kind of intimacy was something I performed, to lure people back… for him…”

His voice trailed off, and Tav had to resist the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek in comfort.

“Even though I know things between us are different, being with someone still feels... tainted.” His speech was fragmented, as though he were putting these feelings into words for the first time. Perhaps he was.

“Still brings up those feelings of… disgust and loathing.”

Tav’s heart ached for him.

“I don't know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I'd like to.”

And with that, her fate was sealed.

She loved him – that’s all there was to it. And she would give him that love in whatever form he needed from her, even if it meant never sleeping with him again.

“Maybe what you really need is a friend, not a lover,” she offered with a smile.

"I-“ He blinked, as though utterly stunned. As though it were a concept he’d never considered.

“I would like that... I've held more people than I can count, an infinite parade of lovers. But a friend?” His gaze fell, lost in memories. “....I can't think of a single one."

He glanced at her from under his eyelashes, his mouth turning upwards in a shy smile. “Until you.”

“I care about you,” Tav said, trying to keep her lip from quivering – sentimental old fool that she was. “Deeply.”

His eyebrows lifted. “Really?”

By the gods, if he only knew…

She felt the overwhelming need to be close to him – to make him feel safe and valued and present.

So, without another word, she pulled herself into him, wrapping her arms around his ribs and nestling her head beneath his chin.

As gently as she possibly could, she pressed herself against him, chastely and innocently, and let out a contented sigh.

At first, he was as still as a stone, his arms held aloft in the air stupidly as though she were fitting him for armor. Then, as the companionable silence fell over them, he allowed his arms to slowly come to rest around her frame.

He was almost too relieved to speak – afraid to even move, lest he wake up to find it all a dream. To think that she would not only forgive him for manipulating her, but… for his feelings to actually be reciprocated…

He closed his eyes, relishing the feeling of her in his arms.

Finally, Tav pulls away, a wide grin spread across her face.

“You…” Astarion blinks, then allows himself to grin back at her. “You’re full of surprises… aren’t you?”

He leaned in closer to her, as though they were misbehaving children about to be caught acting up. “Honestly, I have no idea what we’re doing!” His smile faded a bit. “Or what comes next.”

He reached out a hand to her, and she took it. He fought to keep his voice steady as he covered her hand in both of his.

“But I know that this…. This is nice.”

Tav felt as though her heart would burst. She wanted so badly to tell him she loved him but she didn’t want to risk frightening him with that verbiage. So instead, she said:

“We can be together without sleeping together, for as long as you need.”

Astarion let out a laugh. “Hah! Why that, uh,” he trailed off, his gaze drifting away for a moment before coming to rest on her again, “almost sounds like a challenge.”

She wanted to say “Oh, it certainly will be.” She wanted to say “It will be incredibly challenging not to climb you like a tree” or “I love you enough to never touch you again, if that’s what you need.”

Instead, she said, “A friendly challenge amongst friends, then.”

She gave his arm a little squeeze before excusing herself to her tent. “Good night, Astarion.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

The next day, Tav and Astarion both stayed in camp while the others went into the city.

It was quite the sight to behold. Tav was like whirling dervish, tackling the upkeep of their campsite as though every misplaced sock and dagger was a personal affront to her. She performed the most menial tasks – the laundry, the dishes, the sorting of armor – with the gusto of a warrior rushing into battle.

All the while, she sang to herself, interrupting her songs intermittently to mumble such things as “Up you get, nasty thing” and “Not in my house, you won’t!” to whatever pesky crumb she’d stumbled upon.

He found himself rereading the same page of his book over and over again, unable to help himself from watching her instead. By the hells, she was adorable.

So, when she finally came over to join him where he sat just outside his tent, he was sure to act as though he was deeply entranced in his reading.

He shouldn’t have felt so nervous – after all, they had already admitted their feelings to one another. But to now have to quell the lascivious thoughts that came so naturally to him – well, that would certainly take some getting used to. His body reacted to her presence of its own accord, and it was dreadfully confusing. Two hundred years’ worth of habits were difficult to break.

But even so, it had been the feel of her against him – hugging him to her chest, fully clothed and as gentle as a mother to a child – that he had thought about for hours as he fell asleep the night before.

He smiled at her as she plopped down next to him. “Hello, darling. Finished with your tidying?”

“I dare you to find a speck of grime in this entire camp site!” she declared proudly, holding her arms out in triumph.

He chuckled, spotting a tiny smudge of dirt on her cheek. “Ah, I think I do see one,” he tutted, and licked his finger. “Right there,” he said, wiping it tenderly.

She grinned, and held his hand to her face affectionately. Her eyes shone, and he felt the air contract in his lungs.

This physical touch… certainly not overtly sexual, but not entirely chaste either… These were the hardest to navigate. And yet, he ached to be close to her, just to feel her there with him.

“Do you remember that night, about a month ago?” She asked, finally breaking the comfortable silence. “The night after we saved the tieflings?”

He raised eyebrows at her and grinned. “Of course, darling.”

Oh, he remembered it well.

~~~

He had been relishing in feeling sorry for himself, having a crisis of identity amongst all the tieflings’ endless praise (sure, they’d saved their village, but they didn’t have to make such a big deal about it), when she sauntered over.  

“It’s not that bad. Think of all the goblins you got to kill,” she said with a smirk.

He had to admit, he really enjoyed their back-and-forth - it was rare for him to find someone as willing to banter as he was. No matter how outlandish he was to her, she parried his attitude right back to him – but not in the rude, sardonic way he came to expect from most people. With her, it was… playful. Easy.

He smiled. “True, that was fun. Still, I would've liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”

And at that, she took the bottle from his hand, and gave it a swig.

He watched as her pretty face wrinkled a bit at the dry taste. Watched hungrily as the muscles in her neck slid the liquid down her throat.

“See what I mean?” he urged, tearing his eyes away from her neck. “Awful.”

Gods, what he wouldn’t do to forget himself for the night. To forget all this “hero” nonsense. To ease back into his comfortable old habits of promiscuous pleasure, if only to allow his body to distract his mind for a few blessed moments.

“All I want is a little fun,” he whined, holding his arms out as though to invite anyone to argue. “Is that so much to ask?”

“Knowing you, it probably is,” Tav teased gently, handing the bottle back to him.

“Don't be so sour,” he hummed, a smirk pulling at his lips. “I like a good time as much as anyone.”

But, by the gods, she was beautiful. In truth, he’d thought about her many times, in their brief time traveling together. How it might feel to bury himself into her heat, the sounds she might make as she pleaded with him to bring her release… The way his name would sound, cried out from her throat…

“You know…” his tone perked up, lowering his voice and pulling himself in closer to her, “we could always make our own entertainment, darling. Get a little closer, so to speak...”

And, certainly, if she declined, he wouldn’t push the issue – she had already been more than generous in allowing him to feed from her, and he wasn’t willing to jeopardize that opportunity. If she found the idea repulsive, he could always find his own relief elsewhere, in some poor forest creature's bleeding neck – at least then he might get some sleep.

But instead, she gave him a bemused smile. Almost… haughty. “Maybe,” she said, rolling her eyes upward in mock contemplation. “If you say ‘please.’ ”

His brow raised at her gall, and he scoffed. She was placing conditions on him? He wasn’t sure whether to be offended or aroused. “What?”

The side of her mouth hitched upward in a sly, flirtatious half-smile; she was egged on by his response.

Aroused, then, he thought, mouth going dry. Definitely aroused.

“Say ‘please,’” she repeated sweetly.

He felt a rush of heat shoot to his groin. For a split second, he contemplated putting up more of a fight, but… it was so unusual for a pet to talk back to him like this, and he was delighted to see what this teasing would lead to.

 “Please?” he murmured, his voice sweet as honey, just loud enough for her to hear.

Her little half-smile widened into a proud grin. “Good boy! Let's get together tonight.”

Oh, this would indeed be fun.

“Cheeky little pup,” he crooned, eyes smoldering. “I'll see you... later.”

And then, he had fucked her senseless in the woods, eager to see every inch of her skin. She had even allowed him to drink from her in the midst of their passion.

Tav was the only thinking creature Astarion had ever fed from, which was complicated enough for him. But when she had offered her neck up to him, inviting him to taste her even as his cock found her silky folds…

It was unlike anything he’d ever experienced, in over two centuries.

He had almost come inside her, his mouth still suckling her throat, then and there.

It felt… different. With her.

They had collapsed in an exhausted heap of limbs moments later.

~~~

“What was it,” Astarion asked, clearing his throat “about that particular night, that you wanted to talk about?” He tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, but felt a pool of unease settle in his stomach. Their activities that night had been decidedly NOT “friendly,” and dwelling on the night’s events too much would likely lead to temptation.

A slight blush crept up onto her cheeks, but she continued: “You woke up. In the middle of the night.”

His face froze.

“I just wondered if it had something to do with… with what we talked about, at the Elfsong Tavern,” she prodded gently.

Ah, yes, he thought bitterly. I remember that as well.

~~~

He and Tav had continued drinking that dreadful wine – and plenty of it. That’s what caused the trouble to begin with.

He wasn’t usually much of a drinker – it took a lot of alcohol to pierce through his vampiric metabolism (and usually much better quality wine, besides) – but he couldn’t help but imbibe as he and Tav explored each other, giddy and zealous in the moonlight, the dry wine paling in comparison to the sweet, hot blood he drank from her…

In short, he had managed to drink quite a lot of fluids – much more than he would usually fall asleep on, to be sure.

The next thing he could remember was a nagging, pinching, swollen pressure.

“Awww, the spawn has to rub his sad little prick in order to keep his piss in.”

Through a stream of darkness, a vicious voice whirled around his consciousness.

“We can’t have disobedient spawns in our midst. How many lashings do you think he should get, if he gets his filthy piss on the master’s floor?”

His cock felt as though it was on fire as he squeezed it, trying against all hope to prevent the inevitable. His abdomen ached, his bladder protruding from it as his body fought desperately to hold back the flood.

This is a dream, he told himself, willing himself to open his eyes. Wake up, Astarion!

Gods, but his need to piss was real.

He squeezed his thighs together as tightly as he could, even as he knew it was hopeless. Dread washed over him as he prepared for what came next.

Cazador slashed the whip against the hard floor in even intervals next to him, daring to come just a little closer each time, to truly build his terror as he anticipated it slashing into his naked body.

And as soon as it did, his bladder would release, and it would all be over.

“Hold it…” Cazador trilled in a horrible, mocking, sing-song voice…

Smack….

“Hooold it.”

Smack… Even closer, now….

SMACK.

He lost control as a burst of piss escaped him—

~~~

Astarion jolted awake, the sounds of insects chirping in the night a welcome reprieve from his hellish dreams. Oh hells, did I just…?

He was in his tent, at their camp just outside of the Emerald Grove. He was, in fact, naked – but not due to Cazador. Tav’s sleeping form was lying peacefully in his bedroll next to him. She stirred for a moment, but thankfully didn’t wake.

He grabbed his manhood – to his horror, he found it slightly damp, a dribble of urine pooling at his foreskin. Gods dammit, I did.

Oh gods, he was about to piss himself completely.

He had to move, now. He had to get his pants on – although that was really the last thing he wanted to do – and get somewhere where no one could possibly hear him…

He hissed in frustration as he tried to pull them on, only to see they were all twisted up, sloppily discarded in their passionate stupor.

The very tip of his cock was pulsing – it had felt a moment of release and demanded more. He was spending precious seconds he didn’t have wrestling these gods damned pants on—

“Where are you going?”

Shit!

Tav’s sweet little voice was muffled from her pillow; she was very much still half-asleep.

Not now, please, sweet hells, not now. “Nowhere, darling, just thought I heard a noise!” He knew his whisper was too shrill, that he was rushing the words out so quickly he hardly made sense even to his own ear. “Going to take a look!”

“I’ll go with you,” Tav said, reaching beneath her pack for her dagger.

Astarion might very well scream. “No, ah, there’s no need!” he insisted. For gods’ sake, just let me leave!

He was unable to stand still, unable to keep from wriggling his hips.

“Go back to sleep, my dear, I’ll take care of it!” He couldn’t keep the urgency from his voice.

But as he looked at determination on her face, he knew it was a lost cause. “It could be an ambush,” she said.

That was it. He couldn’t hold it a second longer.

He was going to piss his pants like an invalid, in front of the only person who’d ever shown him a shred of kindness.

A small stream shot from him, and his hand shot to his groin to staunch it. No, no, no…

“Impero tibi!” he hissed through clenched teeth, his free hand casting one of the few spells he knew.

Tav fell gracefully back onto her pillow, her eyes closing contentedly once again.

Sorry about that, darling! he thought to himself, breaking into a sprint outside of the tent and towards his relief.

~~~

“I just wondered if it had something to do with… with what we talked about, at the Elfsong Tavern,” Tav said, her eyes warm and relaxed, in direct opposition to what he was sure was a pained expression.

She was referring to the other night, of course – when they had arrived at the city at last, and he’d confessed his shameful affliction to her by way of transporting himself out of the building, piss dribbling down his leg, followed by a panic attack.

“Ah…” Out of habit, his mind reeled for a punchline, some sort of clever retort to help him somehow save face. Some snarky remark that would help ease the embarrassment of admitting such a ridiculous problem.

But… it was Tav, after all.

Tav, who said she cared about him deeply. Who saw him as a person, not as the persona…

“Yes,” he said finally, staring at her from under his lashes. “Yes, darling, it does.”

She tilted her head just a bit – oh gods, was she angry? No, she didn’t seem angry… She simply looked at him, as if to say, “go on.”

“I… had too much to drink, between that pig-swill wine and your… delectable body.” He grinned – old habits die hard, after all. “And when we fell asleep, I… had a nightmare.”

His smile faded now.

“It’s a nightmare I’ve had many times over the years, whenever I have to… go… while I’m asleep.” His gaze drifted away. “Although It’s not so much of a nightmare as a relived memory.”

Tav took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“He would take a cat o’ nine tails and whip me across the back if I pissed,” he grimaced, as though the unpleasant memory were stuck in his throat. He didn’t have to explain whom he was talking about.

She knew.

“In the dream, I’m holding it… until I can’t anymore, and his whip is coming closer and closer to me, and—then I wake up, right before…”

He trailed off. Tav gave a small nod.

“But then you woke up as well,” he continued; he was surprised at how much this was making him feel better. “And I didn’t have time to explain—” His eyes found hers now, and a little smile pricked at his lips. “And of course you wouldn’t listen to me and go back to sleep.”

That made Tav giggle. He felt his heart squeeze.

“Forgive me for casting the sleep spell on you,” he said, emboldened at having made her laugh. “I just really had to—” His mind caught up with his mouth, and he felt his cheeks burn. “I mean, I almost…”

Stop. Stop talking, Astarion, for gods’ sakes.

But Tav just smiled sweetly, and nodded once again – she understood. “Thank you for telling me.” She reached over for his other arm, so that she held both his hands in hers. “But you don’t have to do that anymore. Next time, just tell me you need some privacy, and I will go back to sleep.”

He gave her a shy little smile. She wanted so badly to kiss him.

“And another thing!” She forced herself to remain on-topic. “Don’t wait all day to say something! You said you held it all day the other day?” she scolded.

Astarion’s gaze strayed to the side. “Usually, when it’s just our little team of hooligans bumbling through the countryside, I can just sneak off while the rest of you are bickering,” he waved his hands dismissively. “But when we’re in the city, and we have to be careful not to stray from each other…”

He couldn’t believe he was actually saying this – even having to put the topic into words was filling his chest with cold, oozing panic. As though he were right back in Cazador’s dungeon.

He couldn’t possibly go into further detail, so he left it at “….it’s been difficult.”

“And you can’t…” She paused for a moment, choosing her words carefully – the last thing she wanted to do was trivialize the issue. “You can’t go when we all stop to go?”

Truth be told, the group had made several rest stops as they made their way throughout the city – public privies were limited, and certainly not particularly pleasant, but they allowed for privacy well enough. And, after all, it was a perfectly natural part of life. No one minded stopping when the need arose.

He scratched the back of his neck nervously – an Astarion-ism that Tav found unreasonably charming – and cleared his throat. “It won’t work. Because everyone will know that I’m in there. It won’t… come out.”

His brows furrowed, eyes lowering to the ground as he wrestled with the image in his mind. “I would just… stand there, knowing that everyone was waiting on me. Even if you don’t factor in the awful smell of those wretched privies, I can’t—”

His voice caught in his throat, his scalp tingling with shame.

“It’s alright,” Tav said. “We can find ways for you to discreetly sneak away.”

“But don’t tell anyone!” Astarion pleaded.

“Of course I won’t,” Tav said gently, and smiled. “Although I’m fairly certain they are also under the assumption that vampires don’t pee to begin with.”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes and throwing his hands up in exasperation. “There you go again, with that.”

Even as he grumbled, he felt his heart swell in gratitude towards Tav, as they settled back into their playful banter.

“Such a shame your vampiric education has been so lacking for all of you!”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

- Several Days Later / Day 5 of Being Friends -

“Come take a walk with me,” Tav urged, taking Astarion’s hand and leading him into a grassy field just outside of their camp, until they were well out of earshot of their companions.

“I think I have an idea for how to help you with your… urinary issue.”

“Oh gods.” He rolled his eyes. “Can’t we talk about something more pleasant, like a highly deadly outbreak or something?”

Tav flashed him his favorite dimpled half-smile. “I just want to help you. Want you to be able to live this aspect of your life as freely as every other aspect.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “You deserve it.”

“Well, you’re damn right I do!” Astarion replied with emphasis. “Hmmm. Alright. Go on, tell me.”

“Step 1 is for you to tell me when you have to go.”

“Hah!” He waved his hand dismissively. “Perfect! I told you just the other night at the Elfsong Tavern  – on to step 2!”

“I meant before you’re about to wet yourself,” she retorted gently. “When we’re out traveling. You can just take a moment to whisper it to me, and I’ll make some excuse to engage everyone else in conversation so that you can sneak off.”

“Ugh,” Astarion made a noise of disgust. “Is that really necessary, darling? Shall I alert you every time Karlach belches, as well?!” He winced. “And I certainly don’t have to tell you what Halsin does in the woods.”

Tav smiled. “But it’s all about teaching yourself that it’s okay to say it.”

“But I did already say it!” he whined.

“Say it again, then.”

He blinked. “What?”

“If it’s not a big deal, say it again.”

He bit his lower lip. “I would, but I don’t have to!”

“…You trust me, don’t you?” she asked.

He paused for a moment at the unexpected question. “Yes, I do.”

“And we are alone out here, right?”

Astarion lifted an eyebrow, and looked around, gesturing dramatically. “Yes?”

“Lues Aqua,” Tav spoke the incantation softly and clearly, pointing a single finger at Astarion’s lower torso.

Astarion winced and lurched forward just a bit, as a rush of pressure reached his bladder – not enough to overwhelm him, but enough for him to feel discomfort.

“You little…!” He couldn’t believe the absolute gall of her. “You have some nerve!”

Tav raised her eyebrows just a bit, her eyes searching him for any and every reaction. “I’m sorry,” she stated genuinely. “Are you mad at me?”

Astarion’s anger quelled at her sincerity. “…No,” he admitted.

Because he wasn’t, really. He did trust her.

“…But you’re pissing me off!” he concluded, raising his chin derisively.

She grinned. “You’re getting closer, still missing a few words.”

“Oh, very funny!” Astarion chided. “Clever little bard, tormenting a poor defenseless rogue.”

“Are you ok?” Tav asked plainly, ignoring his teasing.

He started to make a sarcastic retort – but she seemed so damn genuine, he couldn’t bring himself to play up his suffering. “Well, I was better a moment ago…” he grumbled.

“Lues Aqua.” Tav cast the spell again.

Astarion’s legs squeezed together naturally as the pressure in his bladder increased rapidly. “Oof! Dammit…”

He wasn’t at full capacity by any means, but he had begun the conversation with no need whatsoever. Now it was an annoying, ever-present tingle in his groin.

“Okay. Now, practice telling me,” Tav said.

Astarion felt his cheeks flush, his spine tingling as what she was asking for sank in.

His chest tightened as his memories of Cazador’s torture threatened to overwhelm him, and he clenched his fist to keep himself grounded to the present.

“I…” his gaze lowered in concentration. “I ha-…”

His voice froze in his throat, his pulse racing.

“Look, I’ll turn around,” Tav said, twirling so that her back was to him, and began marching in place. “Here we are, Tav and Astarion, walking through the woods.”

He felt his panic subsiding a bit; somehow, that had helped. “I… Tav…”

“If… any of my party members ever needed to tell me anything, I hope they would know that I love them,” Tav spoke to the forest. “And that I’m not leaving, no matter what.”

Astarion felt his eyes water, touched by her words. He filled his lungs with air, willing the words to come.

“Tav?” he finally sighed. He squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself.

“Yes?” Still, she didn’t turn around.

“…I have to go,” he muttered.

Tav couldn’t help but smile, but tried to keep her voice unchanged. “Go?”

“Piss…” Astarion forced the words from his lips. “I have to piss.”

His hand naturally went to his groin, his fingers offering a bit of relief from the pressure as he squeezed his tip.

Tav felt her heart swell with pride – he’d made such progress in such a short amount of time. “Okay.”

Astarion huffed. “Okay? That’s it? That’s the extent of Step 1 of your grand master plan?”

“Well, this was just practice,” Tav clarified. “At this point, if we were travelling, I would come up with some new topic of conversation, so that you could wander off.”

“Look at me, at least!” Astarion insisted.

Finally, Tav turned around. “But you did it! You told me, and it made us closer. I’m fine, and you’re fine.”

Astarion huffed again. “I suppose you’re right, although it’s hardly as if I ever assumed the world was going to come to an end-- ”

Tav’s gaze naturally drifted down to his abdomen, where he was gently pinching his member. She forced herself to avert her gaze – but he had already noticed. He removed his hand immediately, his cheeks coloring in shame.

But then – Tav’s face took on a rosy flush so captivating that he completely forgot to be humiliated.

He had seen that particular flush of hers before, the frantic way her eyes had darted from his…

She had seen him touching his cock, and had become aroused.

Blood rushed to his cock now, the mere thought of sex sending a signal to his body that he had heeded for over 200 years.

He almost felt nauseous at his conflicting feelings – they had agreed to avoid such topics. He didn’t want to lead her on. He had even told her he didn’t want her to view him in terms of sex, and yet here he was dangling himself in front of her like a carrot on a stick…

His guilt certainly wasn’t because he wanted to hear his name being sighed on her tongue again…

Tav swallowed, and forced herself to meet his gaze once again. “I’m proud of you,” she said with a smile. “When we go into town tomorrow, you can try it again.”

“I’ll see you later,” she gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as she made her way back towards camp.

~~~

Generally, Astarion didn’t make it a habit to touch himself.

For one thing, he’d spent over two centuries mastering the art of seduction, so he rarely found himself wanting for a partner.

But more importantly, sex had long since lost any appeal beyond a physical release – a bodily function that reliably concluded in a series of muscle contractions, followed by a few moments of natural stress relief.

It was a dance he knew every step of – but as for his own sexual urges, they were largely nonexistent. This would be shocking for his companions to hear, of course – he portrayed himself as a sexual deviant, ever-enthusiastic to find his next conquest.

And certainly, there had been times – even since his escape from Cazador – when he had sought out companionship with a stranger for no other reason than to momentarily escape the loneliness.

But, by and large, the desire to experience an orgasm was lost to him.

Spending years at a time in complete isolation, with only your own broken body for stimulation of any kind, will naturally take the appeal out of any activity.

That was, of course, until he began traveling with Tav.

Initially, it had started like any of his other exploits – be as charming as possible, lure her in, sleep with her as many times as it took until she was eating out of the palm of his hand.

But bedding her had been… something else entirely. Perhaps it was because she knew more about him than anyone else had ever bothered to learn. Perhaps it was because she allowed him to feed from her, not out of some hedonistic fascination with vampirism, nor a desire to be turned, but… for his own benefit.

And even when they weren’t in the middle of sexual bliss, as he drank from her neck, he could swear she would let out a little sigh of contentment… as if just being close to him, sharing herself with him, was as soothing to her as it was to him.

Not to mention… drinking from her during their coupling was… transcendent.

But it wasn’t just the sex – it was everything in between that made him unable to get her out of his head.

Whatever the reason, Astarion found himself feeling genuinely aroused at the most inopportune of moments, at times that had no obvious sexual undertone. The way she tossed her head back when she laughed. The smell of lilac that followed her right after she washed her hair. The water mug she had left in his tent, that he couldn’t bring himself to clean up.

Out of nowhere, these things suddenly made his cock stiff as a board.

He adored Tav – cared more about her than any other person in his long, long life – and he had been certain that she would stop pursuing a relationship after he admitted his... complications with sex.

But she didn’t.

She had seen him in a humiliating set of circumstances, and had wanted him anyway.

And she had wanted him, just now, in the field – he had seen the look in her eyes, the desire warming her skin.

And she had walked away.

Even in the face of her own desire, she had respected his wishes – had put his above her own.

Now, as he stood in the field alone, the sound of Tav’s receding footsteps now so distant he couldn’t hear them, he let out a deep sigh.

He ached – an unfamiliar, flickering ache deep in his chest that was becoming increasingly frequent as of late, and always when he was thinking about her.

He didn’t have a name for it, but… it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

Of course, he had an ache of another sort as well – there was still his bladder to attend to.

He hastened in the opposite direction of Tav, until he was beyond certain he couldn’t be overheard – not even the rustle of a mouse through the grass anywhere around him – and let out a soft sigh as he pulled out his cock and released a steady, even stream onto the ground below.

~~~

By the nine hells, he’s going to be the death of me, Tav thought to herself, splashing cold water onto her face from the pump – a rare delight that most campsites lacked – and pulling her hair back in a ribbon.

She hadn’t mean to look, she really hadn’t – and as soon as she’d noticed his hand anywhere near his groin, she should have avoided it all costs – but she didn’t.

She saw the slight bulge of his member through his thin trousers, and without her permission, her lecherous mind flashed back to the way he’d held it to guide himself between her legs…

Which, of course, lead her to remembering the look on his face just as he’d eased himself all the way in – the way his voice had hitched…

“Gods, you feel incredible…” he’d sighed.

If that had been an act, he was a hell of an actor.

No. No. She would not betray Astarion’s trust like this.

She would not make him feel guilty for his aversion to sex. She would not let his progress be undone by trying to appease her.

So she had done the right thing, and walked away.

And now, as she fastened the ties at the entrance to her tent, she barely had time to force her other hand into her mouth to stifle a cry before she was stroking herself between her legs. She came to a quick, clumsy orgasm by her own hand, imagining it was his.

 ~~~

As Astarion finished emptying his bladder, he gave his cockhead a little shake, his mind still replaying his and Tav’s encounter over and over.

Tav’s skin had flushed from the top of her face to her collarbones, partially hidden by her thin white shirt.

But he knew she was flushed underneath, as well… Her perky nipples would be flushed, standing at attention as he flicked them with his tongue…

He was shaking the tip of his cock a little longer than was strictly necessary, now… slowly turning into more of a stroke…

There were a few freckles right below her collarbone. Whether he suckled from her neck or her breasts, they were in the perfect position for him to gaze at – like a patch of stars…

And now, he found himself pawing at his cock like a hormonal youth, watching Tav riding him from his mind’s eye, until he shot his seed into the piss-covered grass.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

- The Next Day / Day 6 of Being Friends –

He hadn’t gotten a good nights’ sleep in days.

True, Tav had agreed to be more of a friend than a lover.

And true, he’d found himself aroused – truly aroused, and at the most mundane things – more frequently than he could count since they’d come to that agreement. To his embarrassment, he’d even brought himself to orgasm while thinking about her.

But, by the gods, he missed kissing her.  

She hadn’t kissed him since the night of their agreement. He wasn’t sure if she thought of it as a purely sexual act, but he didn’t want to force himself on her – didn’t want to tempt her towards something they were trying to avoid.

The irony that he was trying his very hardest not to seduce her was not lost on him.

It had been half a tenday since they’d shared a bed together – and he hadn’t had a proper night’s rest in just as many nights. He hadn’t realized he’d become so dependent on feeling her body sleeping next to his…

On this particular morning, he’d woken to find himself spooning the bundled-up folds of his bedroll; his arms had clearly been searching for her in his sleep.

“We’re headed to Sorcerer’s Sundries first,” Tav read aloud from the itinerary she’d scrawled onto a piece of parchment, with Lae’zel and Jaheira on either side of her, following along. “Then Bonecloak’s Apothecary…”

“OY!”

Astarion nearly jumped out of his skin – it was too early for screaming already, surely—

“YOU’RE NOT GOING TO THE CIRCUS, RIGHT?!” Karlach’s voice bellowed from somewhere on the opposite side of camp.

A cheeky grin spread across Tav’s face, delighted by her friend’s enthusiasm. “No, my heart! We won’t step foot near a single clown until you’re with us!”

“DON’T EVEN PEEK INSIDE! NOT TIL TOMORROW!”

Tav let out a trill of laughter, and raised her arms in a flourish, as she did when performing her songs. “To see a circus without you at our side would ruin all circuses for the rest of our days!”

“Ch'k. Ridiculous…” Lae’zel chuffed, shaking her head. But even she couldn’t keep the smile from her face.

Such was the effect Tav had on those around her, no matter how determined they were to be miserable.

I suppose that goes for me, too…

“Right then, I’ll grab my pack and we’ll head out,” Jaheira nodded, and the two of them made their way back to their tents.

“Good morning, darling,” he crooned, coming up behind Tav and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Hugs are good… he assured himself. Friends hug other friends…

Granted, he had never seen a group of acquaintances hug each other from behind, nor quite this tenderly, but still.

She rested her head against his shoulder and let out a little hum. He burrowed his nose into her hair, still a bit damp from her morning routine. Lilacs.

“Excited for another day of exploring the city?” Tav chirped, slipping the parchment back into her bag. She turned herself around so that she was facing him. “I was hoping to use your lockpicking skills to investigate the Open Hand Temple – see if we can’t bring some peace to their grieving congregation.”

“Oooh, hunting down a bloodthirsty killer? I can’t think of a better way to wake up.”

Well, that was a lie. He’d spent that very morning rather wishing she had been there to wake up alongside him…

“Is there anywhere specifically you wanted to stop while we’re out? I can add it to our to-do list.”

Astarion’s gaze was locked on her, but he said nothing – as though he hadn’t even heard her.

“…I miss you.” He said finally.

Tav raised her brow a bit with concern, and pressed her palms against his chest, applying a gentle, reassuring pressure. “Miss me? I’m right here, darling.”

“I know, I know. It’s just… I appreciate you saying that we didn’t have to sleep together, but… does that really mean that we can’t sleep together?”

“What?”

“I can’t sleep!” He whined, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “I want to feel you under the covers with me. To wake up with you beside me.” He looked at her from beneath his lashes. “Er, as friends, of course.” He cleared his throat. “Beauty such as mine requires a dedicated sleep schedule, after all.”

There was that sly little smile again, with his favorite dimple. “I’d like that,” Tav said. “…as friends,” she confirmed. “It’ll be a slumber party!”

He guffawed. Gods dammit, that was cute. “I look forward to it.”

~~~

As luck would have it, Bonecloak’s Apothecary was right next door to the wine festival.

“Ooooh!” Tav grinned, peaking into the window as they passed. “I’d love to go for a wine tasting tomorrow, when we all go together.”

Really, darling? Astarion groaned internally. They’d had a productive morning already, no small thanks to that little to-do list of hers, but he still didn’t want to dawdle.

It wasn’t because of the slight twinge in his abdomen – he was perfectly prepared to follow their plan. Perfectly prepared to let Tav know as soon as he felt the need to urinate.

He wasn’t dreading it whatsoever.

Not that it matters, since I don’t have to go anyway, he told himself for the fifth time in the past hour. His belt was just a little too tight, that’s all. And he was sore from the walking.

“Tas’ki,” Lae’zel muttered, “we’ll never solve Father Lorgan’s murder at the rate you’re trudging through the city.”

“Hmmmm… No reason we can’t stop in for just one glass, with our lunch,” Jaheira tutted, stomach growling. “We’ve been walking a long time now, after all, it’s only responsible to keep nourished.”

Astarion noticed the quick little wink Jaheira gave to Tav. He liked Jaheira – she seemed to be a firecracker.

To everyone’s surprise, Lae’zel simply shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind a leg of lamb, I suppose.”

“You guys go get us a table,” Tav chirped, already heading inside. “I’m going to buy a few bottles for tonight – give the sorry sods at camp something to look forward to tomorrow!”

~~~

And so the four of them sat beneath the canopy, wine glasses in hand, with the few remaining scraps of their lunch abandoned on their plates.

Astarion wasn’t eating, of course – just nursing a single glass of wine, and thoroughly enjoying the company.

His companions were certainly feeling the effects of the wine more than he was, but even his mind was becoming pleasantly hazy. And the flavor was certainly better than the drivel they typically kept around the campsite…

But alcohol came with the inevitable downside of going straight to his bladder, and his nerves were doing nothing to help the situation to boot.

His foot began to tap, his body anxious to release the nervous energy as the pressure grew.

Lae’zel and Jaheira were engaged in a boisterous conversation, but Tav noticed. She placed her free hand affectionately over his, clasping their fingers on the table.

You can do this…. Just lean in and whisper it to her.

Tav met his gaze now, and gave him a tiny smile.

He leaned in for a moment, and even opened his mouth – and felt the words catch in his throat.

Tav’s heart swelled; gods help him, he was trying. He just needed a little encouragement.

“Are you alright?” she whispered, barely audible to anyone but him.

Heart pounding, he pressed his lips against the curve of her ear – as though he were simply giving her a kiss on the head – and forced the words from his lips in one breath. “Ineedtorelievemyself.”

Her eyes brightened with pride.

“Finish your wine, darling,” Tav spoke aloud at his side. She gestured to the bar wench and signaled to bring Lae’zel and Jaheira two more glasses. “You ladies will excuse us for a moment while we find Astarion some lunch.”

Jaheira gave a knowing look of appreciation, and Lae’zel rolled her eyes. “Just try to keep it quick – we heard enough from the two of you at camp.”

Yes – this, he could do. He could certainly play the insatiable rake, eager to have an afternoon delight with his lover.

He downed the last of his wine and stood up. “Come on, darling,” he crooned, his voice sultry. “You know how impatient I can be when it comes to my appetite.”

Tav grinned, and plopped a few gold coins on the table. “Be right back.”

Then, raising her hand into the air: “Portare!”

In a flash of white light, the two of them found themselves back in the field outside of their camp, the lively conversation and bustle from the crowded restaurant disappearing.

“Thank you,” Astarion sighed, “I had no idea how we were going to get far enough away…”

His gaze trailed longingly to the distant cluster of trees at the edge of the meadow.

“So, um… Step 2.” Tav cleared her throat. “Step 2 is for you to go into those trees over there. And I will stay right here until you get back.”

Cold dread gathered in the pit of Astarion’s gut. “I… I don’t think I’ll be able to.”

She smiled reassuringly. “You’ve been so brave, darling.”

He huffed derisively. “Brave. I’m only managing to do something most toddlers are capable of.”

Tav’s smile faded, her expression solemn. “Overcoming centuries of torture is nothing to scoff at. If you’re not proud of yourself, I certainly am.”

The corners of his mouth tugged upward slightly, but he said nothing.

“Unless… do you not have to go?” she asked innocently.

He lifted his brows and scoffed petulantly. “I do! I told you I have to go!”

Tav struggled to keep the smile off her face – he was admitting it freely now, at least when they were alone.  And, incredibly, he didn’t even see how far he’d come in such a short amount of time.

“Well you must not have to go that badly…” Tav hummed.

His jaw dropped at her audacity. “Like hells I don’t!” he spat. “I’ve had to go all morning, you rotten little minx!”

Her brows raised. “That must be terribly uncomfortable, then.”

“It is! I’m bursting!” Astarion hissed.

“How would you feel, if you went into the trees over there and pissed?”

“I would panic, because you’d hear me!”

Tav pulled her flute from her pack with an exaggerated twirl of her wrist. “I won’t hear a thing – I was hoping to get some work done on my latest tune.”

Step 3, when he eventually got there, would see him pissing within earshot of her. But that was for another day.

“Go ahead,” Tav urged, finding a comfortable spot in the grass and bringing the flute to her lips. “And be patient with yourself,” she concluded, before beginning to play.

“UGH!” Astarion stomped towards the woods in a huff, grumbling to himself about “the audacity!” and “cocky little bards” and such.

~~~

His bladder ached with each angry movement of his feet, but he’d be damned if he wasn't going to make a dramatic exit worthy of his thunderous mood. Once he had grumbled his way about twenty meters into the woods – until he could just barely hear the sound of Tav’s flute – he positioned himself in front of a hefty oak tree and began fiddling with his belt.

“She wants me to try, I’ll bloody try!” he mumbled mockingly. “We’ll stand here all gods-damned night  until her lips are too chapped to play…”

Now, with his cock in hand, the faintest of breezes flowing through his hair, he steeled himself for the humiliation that came with failing such a basic bodily task.

Perhaps it was because of the wine, clouding his mind and weakening his bladder. Perhaps it was because of the faint, comforting melody of Tav’s song. Perhaps his muscles were just too exhausted to care.

But for whatever reason, the stream started almost immediately.

Psspssshhhss….

His breath caught in his throat – he dared not move a single muscle.

But it was too late – his cock clenched shut automatically, as though his mind had only just discovered what his body was doing. His treacherous ears had heard the sound of his piss joining with Tav’s flute, and that had been enough for him to seize up.

He groaned in frustration and peeled his foreskin back, begging his body to cooperate.

His bladder ached at the abrupt interruption, and his prick tingled with newfound urgency.

“But she can’t hear,” he said aloud, his voice verging on a whine, as though he were growing impatient with a stubborn merchant. “She can’t hear, because she’s playing her music.”

Be patient with yourself.

He repeated Tav’s words to himself, trying his damnedest to remain calm. He braced his other arm against the tree and leaned forward against it, attempting to remove as much tension in his body as possible.

His eyes closed for a moment. “She already knows what you’re doing…” he whispered. “She knows you’re taking a piss and she doesn’t care. She will wait for you. She’s not leaving.”

His cockhead twitched, and a few sparse dribbles escaped.

It was frustrating, but progress all the same.

Tears stung at his eyes, but he refused to open them – refused to break his concentration.

For just a moment, he heard a break in Tav’s flute – just a matter of seconds, then back to playing right where she left off.

Seconds later, the trickle and rippling of a flowing river overtook his senses – a charm of sound that Tav must have cast his way, before continuing her song.

As the rush of water filled his ears, he felt his cock finally relax--

The pressure finally eased as it flowed from him.

“Gods…” he groaned, his brow lifting as he covered the bark of the tree.

He couldn’t remember ever taking such a satisfying piss. Bliss radiated from him as his stream grew to full force, his knees almost buckling from the relief.

His lungs filled with air as the heaviness in his abdomen eased. He let out a long, indulgent sigh.

He hadn’t realized there was so much. The tree was sodden now, and still he continued…

Finally, he felt an inexplicable rush of pride as he finally trickled to a stop.

~~~

“We’d better get back to the others!” Astarion’s voice snapped her from her musical reverie, and she blinked rapidly to readjust her eyes to the bright sunlight.

She slid her flute into her pocket and peered up at him. He did his best to appear neutral, unphased – but she could tell by the ease of his walk, by the slightly cocky glint in his eye.

He had done it.

Tav grinned, biting her lip to keep herself from kissing him.

She hopped up to a stand and wrapped her arm around his. “Yes. Let’s.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

She loved him. There was no question about it.

But Tav held no expectation for Astarion to say the same of her. Even if she was sure it was true on some level – that he did love her. In his own way, at least, if nothing else.

He was on a journey of self-actualization and healing (to say nothing of his quest for revenge against Cazador ), a journey that she would assist him with at every turn. She could not – and would not – expect him to have enough of a handle on his emotions to truly know what “love” meant to him.

Come to think of it, she had only ever heard the words uttered from his lips once, what seemed like ages ago now. When their adventure had first started, and he was little more than a handsome stranger trying to lure her into his bed.

“Ah, you need a bit of enticing, let me see.”

She chuckled in spite of herself. He really was wickedly handsome – it was no wonder he was so skilled at the art of seduction.

“When I’m with you, I feel practically alive. Yet I crave only to die again with you.”

Ugh. Yep, it was definitely because he was pretty. Oh well, she would play along.

“Mmmm, keep going.” She inspected her fingernails, unimpressed.

“Hmmm,” Astarion smirked. “Let me give it another go,” he hummed, leaning in closer and adopting an even silkier tone of voice.

“Every part of your perfect body whispers temptation. It’s as if the gods made you,” he gestured toward her, then towards himself, being sure to draw attention to his muscled chest. “…to ruin me.”

Gods. Tav was certain she’d read several of these in a pulpy novel, once upon a time. Granted, it was difficult to outdo a bard in the ways of flowery language.

And frankly, she was curious how many more of these he had stored away.

“And what else?” she tilted her head to the side and gave him a half-smile.

“I can go all night with the flattery,” he simpered, and pulled himself in even closer. “But is that really… all you want?”

Tav had to admit, his smoldering eyes were definitely an asset.

She took a moment to consider her answer.

“How about if I said these little words....” Astarion continued. “Everyone's favorite.”

And here, the smile ran from his face. Every shred of irony disappeared from his voice.

“I love you.”

Tav knew he hadn’t meant it – but the haunted look in his eyes was chilling all the same.

The sides of her mouth curved into a smirk. “You’d be lying.”

And just like that, his typical demeanor of jovial aloofness returned. “Ah ha ha! But a rather beautiful lie, nonetheless.”

She let out a breath through the side of her mouth – debauched though he was, you had to respect someone so upfront about their intentions. It was almost so repugnant as to somehow be charming.

“Having fun, are you?”

He laughed – a laugh that reached his eyes, this time. “I am!”

Then, after the briefest of pauses: “It’s hard not to, with you.”

And that had been the first of his lines that had the intended effect – but she would never let him know that.

She would love him however he needed her to. And if what he needed was the love of a friend, she would just have to save those memories of their coupling for her own… private contemplation.
 

~~~

She didn’t have to be so good at remaining platonic.

Or maybe he had just never noticed how touchy-feely she was in her day-to-day interactions.

Either way, he wasn’t fond of the feeling he got when he saw her playfully smack Wyll’s hand away as he reached for the last pastry, or give Gale a congratulatory pat on the shoulder as he perfected a complicated spell.

He was loathe to use the word “possessive” – gods knew he had spent enough time not being in charge of his own autonomy, and he would rather die than inflict that on her – but it was a feeling he had never felt before this damn “friends” agreement.

Sure, everyone assumed they were still having lewd, raucous, passionate sex – and he was happy to let them go on thinking it – but without peppering her with kisses throughout the day, how was anyone besides their companions to know they were anything besides…. well, friends?

It didn’t help that she was so fucking breathtaking. He’d have to be blind not to notice the way the men’s gaze sometimes lingered on her (and the women’s too, for that matter). It was hardly as though he could blame them.

Now, as they all gathered around the campfire, all eyes were on Tav as she sang alongside her lute, plucking the strings with the finesse of a goddess.

He’d been so excited to show her Chromatic Scale – the music store was well hidden, but the selection of instruments and compositions was second to none. He hadn’t quite expected her to spend hours thumbing through the sheet music – long enough that Lae’zel and Jaheira had abandoned them to go off elsewhere – but somehow he’d never been bored.

She played the new sheet music as though she’d known it for years.

They all gave her a standing ovation – including Scratch, who nearly barreled her over as he plastered her face with wet, sloppy kisses, his tail wagging madly.

Ugh, what a pathetic state of affairs, Astarion thought to himself. Jealous of a dog.

Once her fan club had dispersed, she made her way up to him, eyes beaming.

“Beautiful,” he crooned. “I can already tell you’ll put all the performers at that dreadful circus tomorrow to shame.”

She gave him a little smack of mock reproach. “You promised you would behave about that!”

“I will, I will!” he conceded, holding his hands up in surrender.

“Karlach will be heartbroken if you don’t at least play one of the games. Win her a goldfish or something.”

He grinned, that strange yet familiar ache returning to his chest. “I’ll do my best.”

She smiled back at him. For a moment, they said nothing.

“Shall we take a walk, before we head to your tent?” she offered, finally breaking the silence.

“Ugh, please!” He agreed enthusiastically. “I’m so ready to get a restful night’s sleep – for the first time, I think I might be relieved to not have a reflection.”

“Don’t worry, you’re still gorgeous,” she assured him, taking his arm.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, darling.”

~~~

Once they were a decent way away from camp, Tav stopped and turned to face him.

“I wanted to show you something,” she said.

“Hmmm, color me intrigued,” he tutted, raising an eyebrow and flashing her a smile.

In one swift movement, Tav pulled her pants down to her ankles and stepped out of them, leaving them in a heap on the ground.

Astarion’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

He told himself to look away. Opened his mouth and searched for something to say to her.

“I… just thought it would be unfair for me to expect it from you, if I didn’t…”

Her cheeks flushed with color, and she cleared her throat. “And after all, I’ve done this in front of plenty of my other friends through the years, so…”

With that, she lowered herself to the ground and released a steady stream of piss.

Astarion was utterly transfixed as he watched her, an onslaught of emotions overcoming him. Shocked at her bold behavior. Flattered that she trusted him enough to be so vulnerable. Awestruck at how effortlessly she was able to begin…

Arousal, at the sight of her cunt. Frustration at said arousal…

Finally, Tav finished up, and pulled her pants back on.

“You’re… you’re sure this isn’t breaking some sort of rule?” Astarion asked, attempting to sound suave. “About being friends?”

“Friends can pee in front of friends,” Tav said matter-of-factly, smoothing her shirt.

He winced. For some reason, that had hurt him more than it should have.

“Well, I’m glad to be reaffirmed that that’s all we are, to you.”

The tone of his voice gave her pause. “What are we, to you?”

He let out a sound of indignation. “I don’t know! But isn’t it nice? Not to know?”

Her head tilted to the side, thoughtful.

“You’re not a victim! Not a target. Not just one night it’s better to forget.”

Tav smiled, in spite of herself.

“But then… whatever, in the world… could you be?” he asked, more to himself than to her.

She took his hand in hers. “Maybe we don’t have to give it a name. Maybe I can just be… whatever you need me to be.”

Gods, there was that ache in his chest again…

She lifted his hand up to her mouth and pressed a kiss against the top of his fingers.

At the feeling of her lips on his skin, he moaned – an unimpeded, shuddering moan.

Gods… her lips… she had the softest lips. He missed them, too.

His cock was rock hard now, very much without his permission.

“I’m sorry…” he hissed.

“Why are you sorry?” Tav’s face was flushed, but her expression didn’t change.

“Because I’m losing my fucking mind!” He threw his fingers into his hair and tugged, buoyed by the momentary distraction of the pain.

Tav raised her brow ever-so-slightly – she was listening, waiting for him to say more.

“One minute, it’s as though I never left his dungeon – my whole body shakes in revulsion at the thought of ever being touched again!” His eyes were wild now as he paced back and forth, desperate to release some of his nervous energy. And his treacherous cock bouncing comically with every movement, as though mocking him.

“And the next minute, this happens!” He gestured at his cock with disdain. “And I wasn’t even trying to sleep with you!”

His voice was accusatory, furious – not at her, but at his own gods-damned body.

“This has never happened to me before!”

He wasn’t even sure himself what exactly he was referring to.

“It’s like there’s two Astarions living inside of me, constantly tearing at each other’s throats, and I’m not sure which one is the real me.”

“I think they both are,” Tav said quietly.

He rolled his eyes and gave an exaggerated groan. “Oh, go talk to the wizard if you want to act all deep and cryptic!”

A flash of hurt on her face, now, and immediately he felt infinitely worse. Bastard…

“I’m sorry!” he shouted, wrenching his head away and closing his eyes, as though to escape his own intrusive thoughts.

Then, forcing his voice to soften: “…I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Astarion,” Tav spoke softly, crossing her arms in front of her to negate her immediate instinct to pull herself in closer to him – better to keep the physical connection minimal, at least for the current conversation. “I don’t think you’re losing your mind at all.”

His breathing was heavy, but he said nothing – hanging on her every word.

“I think there are two Astarions living inside you right now. One has had everything taken from him, for the past 200 years. He is flung into a new reality where, for the first time, he must make his own decisions – to embrace the unknown even when every instinct tells him that every avenue will lead to pain. This Astarion needs time, and patience, and reassurance, in order to re-learn everything he’s ever known.”

Astarion’s throat went dry, chilled at the accuracy of her words.

“The other Astarion is chomping at the bit, eager to see everything the world has to offer, to feel everything the body and mind are capable of – to explore every possibility that comes with his newfound freedom.” She gestured vaguely toward his groin. “This Astarion is the one that controls… well, that.”

He let out a single laugh, that peculiar ache returning to his chest, but he didn’t even attempt to respond.

“Both of these Astarions are you. And they are both hurting.”

Tav swallowed, forcing herself to tamper down her emotion – she found herself very close to tears.

“And I love them both. And I will walk by their side for as long as it takes for them to heal together.”

She may as well have shot him with a cannon.

Astarion clutched at his chest, the ache almost overwhelming him. “Gods, Tav…”

He had to be dying. She was killing him, somehow.

“Astarion-- ”

His body moved all on its own, now – his hands coming up to caress either side of her face, his legs closing the distance between them in one bound. His lips crashed into hers, and she made a tiny sound as one of his sharp canines nicked her lower lip – but she didn’t pull away.

Yes. Astarion could think of nothing else but this one simple word. Yes – yes.

This is what he had needed. Only this.

Tav allowed herself a few selfish moments of exploring his lips, before finally breaking apart for air.

“I love you.” The words were out of his mouth before his mind had a chance to think.

He had never wanted to use those words. Before.

They were the epitome of the beautiful lie Cazador had forced him to live. The one phrase that could be used to manipulate anyone, so long as they were foolish enough to believe him – the words that he’d only used for one purpose, with no true understanding of their meaning.

It had been a loathsome phrase – one that, under any other circumstance, would set his teeth on edge and his stomach churning.

But now, the words erupted from him as easily as the air itself.

Her hand snaked up to stroke his white curls, the tip of her tongue swiping gently over his as she pulled them apart for just a moment.

“Not that I’m complaining,” she whispered, panting, “but you don’t have to do that, you know. If it’s… difficult… we can stick to the occasional hug. Even a cordial handshake.”

“No, I need to kiss you,” Astarion huffed, resting his forehead against hers. “I need you to kiss me.”

Tav stroked the tip of his ear, causing him to shudder, and smiled. “I suppose we’ll just have to be friends that kiss, then.”

So he kissed her again. And again. Until finally he broke himself away, before he was unable to stop.

“Let’s get back to my tent, then,” she said, turning back towards camp. “So you can give me a friendly kiss goodnight.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

The circus hadn’t been nearly as terrible as he’d thought it would be.

Granted, the circus itself had been shit – but seeing his companions in such a jovial, care-free setting was worth the trip, if nothing else.

The whole thing was a bit kitschy for Astarion’s taste – the two-bit musicians and “trapeze artists” had nothing compared to Tav’s showmanship (and Tav wasn’t charging 10 gold coins per ticket), but he had quite liked the drag performer Lucretious and her dancing skeletons.

And he couldn’t help but smile at the droves of children, faces painted with colorful makeup, tugging at their parents’ hands and screeching with delight at the petting zoo.

There were many light-hearted joys one never knew existed, when they were banished to the darkness eternally.

…Oh, and he’d won Tav an Owlbear plush, by throwing some pointy things at a clown’s face. That had been fun, too.

Still, it was the dryad’s test that had had the most lasting impact on him.

They had all been strolling through the various vendor’s stalls, when the dryad’s voice wove through the streets – and called out directly to Tav. “You, the bard with a song in her spirit!”

Tav pointed to herself questioningly, as though certain the dryad had been talking to someone else.

“The city of storm and steel is an endless scream in nature’s womb,” the dryad crooned as Tav was drawn to her, approaching her stage like a moth to a flame.

Astarion had to choke back the instinct to roll his eyes – fortune tellers and snake-oil salesmen were abundant in Baldur’s Gate, and he was certain this scantily clad forest woman – Zethino, if the chalkboard next to her was to be believed – was no exception.

Still, Tav seemed to be intrigued – and who was he to rain on her parade?

“Your eyes, - there is pain, endless and deep,” said the dryad woman. “But also devotion, blazing like the sun. You are in love – are you not?”

Astarion couldn’t help but be curious, now – not because of the dryad’s words, but because of the dimpled half-grin they brought to Tav’s face.

“I do love someone – someone close to me, actually,” Tav said cheekily, making a big show of looking everywhere but at him.

Cocky little minx…

“You are wise to admit it. When it comes to love, vulnerability is armor, truth a sword, and trust a shield. I pray you wield all three,” Zethino’s words were lyrical, ethereal, as though whispered through the trees themselves.

“Bring the one you love to me. I will look into your hearts and see if your love is eternal, or doomed eternally.”

Understanding washed over Tav’s face – it seemed she also understood that this was likely just a cheap illusion – but her smile never wavered. It was all in good circus fun, after all.

“Astarion, are you up for this?” Tav asked, finally turning to face him.

“Oh, my love,” Astarion trilled, stepping onto the stage beside her. “How could I say no?”

“Close your eyes, little ones,” the dryad woman hummed, just as a gentle but persistent breeze began to rustle their hair. “Be as still as stone to earth. And remember… to breathe…”

After a long, deep exhale, Astarion opened his eyes – shocked to find the noisy circus around him replaced with a secluded, serene waterfall, which lead into a rushing river.

On the other side of the river, separated by an age-old tree felled decades ago into a makeshift bridge – was Tav, looking just as astonished as he was.

“Ahhh, glorious. Your bond is sweeter than nature’s dew. I see you – know you. But do you know one another?”

Astarion and Tav locked eyes, now – perhaps this dryad was more legitimate than they’d both given her credit for…

“Astarion,” Zethino spoke his name clearly, as though the gods themselves had told her. “A tumultuous past hides behind a mirthful grin. The heart is fraught - so let us begin with the joyous. When is he happiest?”

His favorite half-smile returned to her face. “When he’s elbow-deep in gore, of course.”

He let out a laugh and raised his hand. “Guilty as charged – sometimes literally!”

Tav took a single, effortless step onto the fallen tree, and steadied herself above the water.

“Your bond beats in pleasure - it is an honor to behold,” Zethino said. “Many things delight the heart - but only one makes it sing. Tell me - what does he desire more than anything?”

This time, Tav took a moment to think – and for a brief moment, Astarion shifted uncomfortably, unsure how he himself would answer this question.

"I think he wants revenge more than anything,” Tav said finally.

He grinned and brought his fingers together in delight. "Oh yes! Yes please!"

Tav smiled and took a few more steps across the bridge. “I hope he wants me at a close second, though.”

She really was too precious sometimes. It wasn’t fair to his old husk of a heart.  “Oh, you’re very sweet. That was an adorable answer!”

Tav’s smile widened into a grin, and she took two more steps, until she was halfway across the fallen tree.

“Our touch has been that of sunlight,” the dryad continued, “But now we must ask the deep. The difficult. Fear sits in the soul of all. To tame it, we must name it.”

Their smiles faded at her darkened tone.

“Astarion. What is his deepest fear?” Zethino prodded.

He felt every muscle in his body tense, but he said nothing. Surely she would stick to a generic answer, or maybe even a clever little quip to lighten the mood…

But Tav’s face was solemn, contemplative, as she searched his eyes.

"…Forever feeling like a slave to someone else," she concluded finally.

Astarion felt as though the ground had disintegrated beneath him. To have put it so succinctly, while so devastatingly accurate...!

"REALLY?” He was scandalized, mouth agape. Then, at the immediate look of panic in her eye – fear that she had offended him, or fear that she had somehow answered incorrectly, he wasn’t sure – he conceded that she had most certainly been correct.

“I me- I mean, YES, but… but REALLY?” He waved his hands emphatically and gestured toward the dryad. “You just tell whatever stranger just walked up and asked?!”

The dryad woman came to Tav’s defense, now: “That which needs to be said is often the most difficult.” Astarion winced in annoyance – but as he saw Tav holding her hand out to him, beckoning for him to join her, he had difficulty holding on to his anger.

“Take pride - you are one step closer to conquering your fears,” Zethino hummed, as Astarion stepped onto the tree to meet Tav in the middle.

“Well!” he tutted appreciatively. “You were right every time!” He raised his hand to inspect his nails, hoping to appear unphased. “I almost wish you hadn’t been, but uh…” He met her gaze now. “You do know me.”

Tav fluttered her eyelashes, relishing his praise, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll have to be more mysterious in future,” he teased.

Zethino raised her arms, calling the wind to begin blowing once again. “I press my finger to your bond, and find a shield impenetrable. It is beautiful.”

Perhaps he had been wrong about this circus, after all.

“Your love is one few have - cherish it,” Zethino concluded, just as they were surrounded by white light.

And just like that, they were back at the circus, their companions looking relieved to see them return from apparently vanishing into thin air.

He, however, could only look at Tav.

“Go in peace, seedlings,” the dryad woman waved affectionately.  “And know that you made one whose heart was long quiet, beat with love anew.”

Hmmm. Maybe this one had some clue what she was talking about, after all…

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Karlach called. “Before you go disappearing again, come with us! We’re headed to the wine festival.”

~~~

“Are they out of their minds?” Having two privies for all these people?!” Gale fumed, even as the wine made him wobble a bit on his feet.

Because, truly, the city in its entirety only had five privies in total, which would have been insufficient regardless – but with the overwhelming number of refugees currently flocking to Baldur’s Gate, it was woefully insufficient. And two of these five privies were located outside the wine festival – for obvious reasons. And still, they weren’t nearly enough.

While all the houses, inns, and shops had chamberpots hidden away for use as needs be, Lord Gortash, in his infinite wisdom, had not yet deemed it necessary to give Baldur’s Gate a much-needed update to its remarkably outdated public restroom system.

As a result, the few public commodes that did appear here and there usually had a long, dreadful line, leaving many refugees and Baldurians alike to sneak off to find relief elsewhere – usually leading to the Steel Watch promptly arresting them for the night.

Luckily, Tav and her companions had managed to avoid most of these lines by way of Tav’s teleportation spell, allowing them to pop into camp whenever the need arose.

That, unfortunately, was not the case today.

It just so happened that a new rule had been put into place starting that very day. The wine festival had received several complaints of errant adventurers getting too deep in their cups and casting spells frivolously – several fire spells that had necessitated some rather costly renovations, or so the bar maiden had said – so a cautionary Spell Shield had been cast on the surrounding 100 meters of the building.

Gale and Wyll, being a wizard and warlock respectively, had felt particularly ill at ease, of course – but, with the combined strengths of Karlach and Halsin, they were eventually reassured that they would have enough protection, should they need it.

So, once the wine festival performers announced that they were taking a brief intermission, Shadowheart finished off the last sips of her current glass and stood up.

“Perfect time to run to the loo, then. Anyone want to join me?”

“Indeed!” Gale agreed, and also stood.

“I’ll stay here with our bags,” Karlach waved her hand dismissively. “One good thing about being a combustible engine – liquid pretty much sizzles right off!” Even as she said this, another grog of ale was happily poured down her throat.

“You just don’t want to leave Clive behind!” Tav teased, her cheeks ruddy with the drink.

Clive, a brown stuffed bear with button eyes, sat next to Karlach on the huge circular table, his little face turned inward as though deep in conversation with his dinner partners.

Karlach had won Clive by winning one of the circus games – and Gale, quick thinking as he was, had cast a spell on the little toy that would keep it from burning up at Karlach’s touch.

Tav couldn’t remember ever seeing her friend so happy.

“Clive can hold his own!” Karlach said, her hulking frame casting a shadow as she gestured proudly toward the bear. “If anything, he can offer me protection!”

“Oh, obviously!” Tav giggled, and scooted her own prize – a stuffed Owlbear plush that Astarion had managed to win for her at the dart-throwing game – next to Karlach and Clive.

“Right, then,” Tav said to Clive and Owlbear. “The two of you are in charge, and make sure Karlach behaves.”

The image of Karlach sitting alone with two stuffed toys at the gargantuan table was one Tav would remember for a long time.

And so, here they all stood – Tav and Astarion, Shadowheart, Gale, Wyll, Lae’zel, and Halsin – all in varying states of drunkenness (even Astarion, who had partaken in some of the particularly strong stuff saved only for those with non-human tolerances), and all very unhappy to be queued up in an obnoxiously long line for the only two privies on this side of the city.

It seemed that more than half the festival attendees had had a similar idea – popping into the privies before the performers came back on – and each line had at least 30 people in front of them.

Not that it mattered to Astarion – there was no way in the nine hells he could use one of those privies, anyway – even though his own bladder was causing him equal concerns. But he could at least wait in line with Tav, if for no other reason than to soak in a bit of sun before nightfall.

“Oh gods, we should have come sooner…” Shadowheart groaned, crossing her arms in front of her and shuffling in place.

None of them had assumed the lines would be this bad, and it was hardly as though they were moving at a particularly steady pace, either.

“It’s unheard of!” agreed Gale, who appeared to be in much more dire straits. “How does anyone with a functioning brain think that plying hundreds of people with alcohol and giving them only two places to get rid of it is a viable option!?”

“Pa'vrylk!” Lae’zel spat, annoyed at the wizard’s whining. “Complaining isn’t going to make the line go faster. Are humanoid bladders so much weaker than those of the Githyanki?”

“On the contrary,” Halsin’s dulcet voice interceded, “I believe I have the largest bladder here of anyone, and even I am finding this situation… troublesome.”

Tav leaned her head against Astarion’s shoulder, the excitement of the day catching up to her as she took a moment to ponder their options. “If it weren’t for this damn Spell Shield, I could bring us back to camp, but…”

Astarion’s entire body was flushed, and he was uncharacteristically silent. Perhaps he would have done better to stay back at the table with Karlach after all… He had just barely begun getting comfortable enough with Tav to discuss such needs with her in private, and hearing the rest of his companions discussing it so casually – so flippantly – was causing every nerve in his body to be as tight as a bowstring.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this quiet, Astarion,” Wyll said, trying to look as casual as possible as he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“Actually, I was just thinking about what a pleasant day it’s been!” Astarion simpered, wrapping his arm around Tav affectionately. “Can’t imagine what all of you are complaining about, better to be out here enjoying the sun than inside the dreary winery!”

“Ch’k, I suppose being undead does come with its advantages…” Lae’zel muttered moodily.

Tav’s brows raised indignantly at Astarion, as if to say “I told you so.” It seems she wasn’t alone in assuming that vampires didn’t share this bodily need.

Well, better they go on thinking it, as far as he was concerned.

They tried to pass the time by talking about other things, but invariably their gaze would slide away from the person they were speaking to, to scrutinize the line’s progress – or lack thereof.

“As soon as I reach my father, I will be sure to tell him how immediately the city is in need of more facilities,” Wyll said determinedly, almost to himself, as though searching for some way to hurry the process along.

Shadowheart was nearly doubled over at the waist, now – she was clearly having trouble standing still, and Tav’s heart ached for her friend. “Ughhhh, Tav, do you have an invisibility potion somewhere!?”

“Are you sure more liquid is really what we need right now?” Tav asked, trying to remain as calm as possible as her own bladder swelled to near capacity.

“I’m serious!” Shadowheart’s legs were crossed now, her hands cusping her crotch. Lae’zel, in a rare show of sympathy, extended a hand to help her keep her balance. “There’s no way I can make it through this line!”

Tav studied the remainder of the line – they had made a pitiable amount of progress, for as long as they had been waiting…

As though punctuating the need for discretion, two poor Baldurian men that had risked relieving themselves in the bushes were being lead away by a member of the Steel Watch.

“I may have one back in my full pack, but it’s with Karlach…” Tav murmured, shuffling through the small satchel on her hip.

Looking back at the entrance to the wine festival, it looked as though quite a crowd had gathered to gain entry for the performer’s second set – getting back to their table would be a challenge in and of itself.

“I have to go so bad!” Shadowheart keened.

Halsin, ever the level-headed one, was now in a constant state of motion – his massive steps causing a tiny tremor in the earth with each one. His usually placid expression was curled into a look of pain. “I must admit, we had better come up with some other option… the call of nature is not to be ignored.”

Tav scanned their surroundings, her gaze finally landing on a distant garden shed, largely hidden behind the tavern’s stack of firewood. The small building was dilapidated and abandoned, but it might at least provide them with some privacy.

“Do you think you can pick that lock over there?” Tav asked Astarion with a hushed whisper.

Astarion raised a brow at the paltry little structure. “I could open it just by blowing on it, darling.”

Tav nodded. “Be quick about it!”

~~~
And so, one by one, they had casually made their way across the clusters of people, until they were all huddled by the front of the old shed, forming a living fence behind which Astarion got to work picking the lock.

Whether due to his size or his general druid appearance, no one batted an eye at Halsin, standing in front of all six of them – never mind that the beast of the man could barely stand still himself.

Chapter Text

Having to hide his own need in front of a line of similarly desperate people had been hard enough. Having to bend down on his knees and meticulously pick a lock, all while maintaining the appearance of normalcy, was worse.

It certainly didn’t help that their most recent glasses of wine were just now making their way into their systems – Tav and Astarion both felt significantly drunker than when they’d first arrived in the damned privy line.

“Can you hurry it up!?” Gale cried from somewhere behind him. “I’m about to explode!”

He would have to remember to kill Gale later.

Finally, the rusty hinge gave way, and the door of the shed creaked open with a shudder.

In a frenzied wave of motion, the seven of them squeezed into the shed and close the door behind them, only to find remarkably little within. Several sacks of grain, some boots and gloves, a pitchfork, shovel, a hoe and rake - and a wooden crate, about a meter wide, wedged into the corner.

Shadowheart was already undoing her pants, her fingers pressed firmly in her quim, as her eyes darted rapidly around the small room. “Where?! Gods, where?!”

Halsin was removing his belt as well. “Oak Father forgive me, it’s going to have to be the floor…”

Gale looked horrified, even as he clutched at his own groin with all his might. “No, it’ll get everywhere! There’s too many of us! They’ll smell it on us and arrest us!”

Even Halsin seemed to be losing his patience now. “It’s going to be out of my control very soon!”

“Tas’ki, move!” Lae’zel demanded, pushing her way through to the back of the corner and ripping the cover of the crate clean off – nails and all.

“Thank the gods, it’s empty,” Lae’zel said, placing the lid safely against the opposite wall and positioning herself in front of the crate. “Now I assume you all know how to wait your turn…”

Hssssssssssssssshhhhh—

The sound of liquid hissing filled the room as Lae’zel took her relief. Every other bladder in the room clenched in jealous agony.

“MOVE OVER!” Shadowheart yelped, shoving her way onto the other empty side of the crate.

“Ch’k!” Lae’zel cursed, her piss never stopping – but before she could say anything else, Shadowheart’s stream erupted, joining with Lae’zel’s. Shadowheart made the sort of sound one would usually only hear in a brothel, her eyes closed in absolute ecstasy as it gushed from her.

“Oh gods, please hurry!” Wyll begged, both hands between his legs and his body lurched forward.

“I don’t suppose you ladies could make anymore room on the crate…” Gale whimpered, inching his way closer.

“NO,” Lae’zel and Shadowheart both said in unison, neither stream faltering as the sound of liquid hitting liquid echoed from the crate now – slowly but surely, it was filing up.

The sound was absolute torture, and all the men groaned in unison – even Astarion, although luckily everyone was too distraught in their own struggle to notice.

Besides Tav, who gave his hand a reassuring squeeze – with the hand that wasn’t wedged between her own legs.

Even during her own desperation, she was concerned for him. Incredible.

Just as Lae’zel’s stream began to trickle to a stop, another small hiss was heard – outside of the crate this time.

“Please, ladies…” Halsin implored through clenched teeth, his massive thighs clenching together. “I can’t take it anymore – it’s coming out…”

Astarion was stunned at the giant man’s ability to admit to such a shameful thing.

“Almost done,” Lae’zel said sympathetically, wriggling her hips a bit to expedite the process and finally pulling her pants back up.

“Make your way back to Karlach as soon as you finish,” Tav commanded, with the same authoritative voice she used as their tactician in battle. “So we don’t all exit at the same time. Make it inconspicuous.”

“I apologize!” Halsin said, pulling his positively massive cock from his damp trousers as he shoved past Lae’zel, a few drops falling to the floor along the way as a rush of piss thundered from him, as though he were an ox or a stallion.

“Gods, careful where you’re aiming that thing!” Shadowheart chided, even as she stared at it with fascination, her own slowing trickle sounding pathetic in comparison.

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh….” Halsin let his head fall back as pints and pints poured from his massive frame, Shadowheart finally prying her gaze away and doing a little wriggle as well as she reached for her pants.

“Please… ah!” Gale let out a little whine – and from the look of the panicked expression that flashed across his face, and the way his eyes shot down to his own groin, Tav guessed he had leaked. Wyll didn’t look much better off, his eyes rolled up into his head as though beseeching the gods to let him hold on...

“Come on,” Halsin said, pushing himself up against the wall and taking up as little space as possible. “You men can share.”

Wyll and Gale looked at each other for a split second, then immediately moved in unison to wedge themselves along the available space. Wyll took his relief immediately, a low, guttural groan emerging from him as soon as his cock was free of his pants. “That was way too close…”

“Mystra’s mercy…” Gale sighed as a thick stream shot from him, joining the two other men’s so that the sound of running water filled the room in an almost hypnotic way.

For once, Astarion was happy to have such a debilitating condition – because he was quite certain that, without his irrational fear sealing his bladder like a tomb, that he would have wet his pants by now.

One by one, the men finished up, their gaits markedly lighter than when they arrived. Halsin simply nodded in appreciation as he exited, where Gale and Wyll both tried give some sort of goodbye – yet both gave up quickly, when they saw that Tav was in no mood for conversation.

~~~

Finally, it was just the two of them.

“Do you want to…?” Tav offered, gesturing towards the crate.

Yes, Gods, he wanted to. He needed to. But he couldn’t ask Tav to let him go first, knowing he would likely freeze up and keep her waiting for nothing.

“I… I don’t think I can, with you in here…” Astarion groaned. “You go first…”

So she did.

She had done a good job of presenting a brave face to her friends. But now, as she positioned herself right on the outside corner of the box – like a mermaid on the prow of a ship – her face melted into a state of euphoria as she finally found her own relief. Her toes curled in pleasure, anchoring her in place.

Under different circumstances, Astarion would’ve silently enjoyed the expression on her face; would even make a point to commit the image to memory, like a private painting.

Instead, he felt several things, all at once.

First: an overwhelming sense of pride at having been able to solve this problem for her.

Second: complete awe - the all-too-familiar fear that clenched his body closed whenever he so much as thought about pissing around other people – completely disappeared.

And third - he felt sheer mortification as his cock began pissing at full force, directly into his pants.

“Agh, shit!” he groaned, his hands darting to his groin immediately to try to regain control. He squeezed the tip of his cock shut, stemming the flow just as it began.

He locked eyes with Tav, jaw dropped, but his mouth refused to form words.

But it didn’t matter – Tav’s eyes traveled down to his hands, and she understood.

“Please,” he said, ducking forward in a last-ditch attempt to hide his shame. “Close your eyes!” And she did.

“Astarion! Just try!” Tav insisted, keeping her eyes closed as she spread her legs and slid backward, until her back was wedged into the corner and her legs were pressed against either wall.

He had no idea what had caused this anomaly. Maybe he really had made progress since confiding in Tav, or maybe his body truly just couldn’t wait any longer. Maybe it had been the look of sheer joy on Tav’s face as she was unburdened. Or maybe just… because it was her.

Whatever the reason, he was out of time. Instinct took over, and he brought himself to the very edge of the crate, Tav’s legs straddling him. In one swift movement, he leaned over her and pulled his cock out from his pants, his exhausted member releasing its torrent as soon as it was safely pointed between her legs.

“Ahh--!”

~~~

Tav was no stranger to the idea of a casual fuck.

She had never been one of the idealist young maidens who professed to save themselves for their one true love, nor did she ever assume sex and love necessarily had anything to do with each other.

Indeed, part of what had drawn her to Astarion in the first place was his (seemingly) equally blasé attitude toward sexuality.

Put simply, Tav was hardly a blushing virgin.

But even so, she couldn’t remember ever feeling quite this intimate with anyone, in her entire life. And they weren’t even having sex.

Sitting in the dusty corner of an abandoned garden shed, her head woozy with wine and exertion, releasing her painfully full bladder into an empty crate – all while her eyes were held tightly shut, and a devilishly handsome man had his naked cock a mere breath away from her naked cunt.  

But it didn’t matter that she couldn’t see him – she could hear his shaky breaths as the rushing stream of piss joined with hers, the hollow echo of the liquid pooling safely below them. She could feel the warmth of his body hovering inches over hers as he pissed and pissed, could feel the tension slowly leaving him…

Her heart was racing, but she relished the feeling – didn’t dare to say anything to interrupt the moment.

“Don’t move…” he pleaded quietly, so close she could feel his breath against her face, could smell the wine on his tongue.

Something about this… it was different than any other intimacy she’d ever known. She wasn’t even really sure how to put it into words – a level of trust she’d never quite felt with anyone else.

And still, the smell of him, the feel of him standing between her legs… it made her ache with a need that had nothing to do with their current relief.

But then, curiously enough, his stream began to falter, even as hers was still going strong.

“Gods dammit…” he hissed under his breath.

At the sound of his strained voice, Tav’s eyes opened instinctively—

“Please, keep them closed,” he pleaded, bringing his arm to rest somewhere above her head as he leaned in a bit closer. “It’s alright, keep… keep going.”

And so she did.

~~~

The relief was indescribable.

At first, he was so unbearably full that he almost felt no relief at all – could only feel the fluid rushing from his cockhead, could hear it meeting its mark below them.

In the back of his mind, he felt a well-learned shame at knowing she could hear every drop that came from him – but he was so intently focused on aiming away from her that he didn’t have time to be embarrassed.

He purposefully aimed his cock directly between her legs, pointing straight down so as not to get it anywhere near her.

But, as he watched, he felt heat rushing to his cheeks, as the soft pink folds between Tav’s legs spread wide open for him to admire, a strong stream of piss flowing from them as though marking her territory.

It had been far too long, since he’d seen this part of her… since he’d kissed those folds…

His fingers began to pulse against their spot on the wall, his muscles recreating the memory of stroking her…

She let out a contented little sigh as the two of them found their relief together, completely unaware of the effect she was having on him.

His stream became a bit erratic now, as blood rushed to his cock, physically impeding the flood.

No no no… fuck, not now!

Too late – his cock was rising, and his stream was becoming more difficult to control as a result.

“Don’t move…” he whispered, readjusting himself as much as possible.

But it seemed as though Tav felt it, too. He could hear her pulse quickening, her breath becoming a bit labored. And still, she kept her eyes shut, unwilling to break his trust.

And it just made him want her more.

His cock was at half-mast, now, and he forced himself to trickle to a stop – he couldn’t risk pissing on her.

By the hells, he wasn’t nearly finished yet… he had just begun to enjoy the relief…

“Gods dammit…” he hissed under his breath.

For a split second, her eyes opened – but no sooner had they opened than his gaze locked with hers, and he pleaded for her to keep them closed. And, of course, she did.

“It’s alright, keep… keep going,” he reassured her. Why should she suffer for his inability to control himself?

He couldn’t help but stare – it really was a lovely view, from his vantage point.

He was so hard, and she was right there… it would be so easy to lean forward juuuuust a bit…

He would feel her, warm and silky wet, around every inch of him – he would hear her make those noises again…

“Did you finish?” Tav asked, her own stream finally slowing just a bit.

“What?” Astarion felt his stomach drop.

“It didn’t seem like you… went for very long,” she explained, brow furrowed in concern but keeping her eyes closed as her own stream finally trickled to a stop.

“I… ran into a bit of a complication, it’s true…” he acquiesced, finally pushing himself up and away from her, and tucking himself back into his pants. Upon further inspection, his breeches had absorbed the worst of the leak earlier, and  – thank gods – you couldn’t tell by looking at his pants, particularly once his shirt was tucked in as well.

Tav finally opened her eyes and hopped off her perch on the crate, pulling her pants up as she did so.

Even when she was drunk, every movement was like a choreographed dance.

“I do feel better, though,” he reassured her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek. “Thank you.”

She balanced herself up on her toes to press a kiss to his lips. “I’m so very proud of you, darling. That was Step 3.”

He opened for the door for her, raising an eyebrow as he did so. “Oh?”

“Step 3 was to go while I was able to hear you,” Tav explained, blinking as she stepped out into the free air of the festival once again.

“And what, do I dare even ask, is Step 4?”

Tav, using a dash of liquid courage before she lost her nerve, spun around and gave him a wink. “I’ll have to tell you later. Step 4,” she replied, “is a little more hands-on.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

Astarion had assumed, after exiting their makeshift outhouse, he would have at least a little bit of time before his bladder was first and foremost on his mind again. Granted, he hadn’t been able to completely empty his bladder, but he should’ve at least felt better than he had before they originally left the table.

By the time he and Tav had made their way back to their table, he was discovering he was – at least tentatively – wrong.

By the time he’d gotten halfway through his next glass of wine, he was terribly, overwhelmingly, miserably wrong.

And he was drunk – really, truly drunk. His tolerance for alcohol was exceptionally high, being a vampire, but certain animals’ blood – such as bears and badgers – had a similarly intoxicating effect. But this particular wine that Tav had picked out from the festival, fermented specifically for the undead and otherkin with non-human tolerances…. This was something else entirely.

It was a pity, how badly he had to piss – he really was having a wonderful time otherwise. He even found Gale to be tolerable, even charming almost.

“And another thing!” Gale piped up, finishing the last of his glass and gesturing to the bar maiden for another. “I appreciate that the two of you,” he pointed at Astarion and Tav now, “have been much more considerate as of late!”

Ugh. Well, nothing lasts forever.

Shadowheart agreed emphatically. “YES, thank gods the honeymoon period has worn off, so we can all get some sleep!”

Tav’s head quirked to the side inquisitively. “What do you mean?”

“The two of you were, ah, very expressive during your nighttime encounters,” Halsin explained with a chuckle, and elbowed Astarion jovially – a movement so forceful it nearly took the air out of him, although this hadn’t been Halsin’s intention.  

Astarion squeezed his legs together in a flash of panic, but luckily the unexpected jostling of his bladder hadn’t resulted in any leaks.

“There is no shame in it, of course – I’ve always preferred to embrace every sound of passion, as Oak Father intended,” Halsin continued. “You’ll find many of nature’s most beloved noises are really just mating calls, after all.”

A pretty flush of color rose on Tav’s cheeks, and she fiddled with one of her Owlbear’s stuffed paws absentmindedly. “We weren’t that loud, surely…” she said quietly.

“Are you naming him Shirley?!” Karlach gasped, her eyes widening.

Lae’zel let out a laugh. “The Githyanki consider any sexual encounter without uproarious noise to be an abject failure.” She smirked. “It is one area of your relationship we can rest assured is satisfactory.”

“Oh come on!” Tav smacked the table for emphasis, in mock offense – but the little smirk on her face gave her away.

“You… have been known to make some delightful noises, darling,” Astarion concedes, his voice silky as he wrapped an arm around her affectionately. “The voice of a bard does tend to carry, after all.”

Tav’s blush deepened – Astarion had to bite his lip to keep from chuckling. He rather enjoyed slipping back into his rakish persona – particularly when it resulted in that particular twinkle in Tav’s eye.

He’d thought about her noises more frequently than he cared to admit. Certainly more than one friend ought to think about another friend…

And he’d had plenty of experience wrenching cries of pleasure from countless lovers throughout the centuries. As a general rule, such noises had always done very little for him – besides signaling that he would be able to stop soon.

“Mmmmm, I wouldn’t blame it all on Tav…” Shadowheart tutted. “Up until very recently, you were giving her a run for her money in the auditory department.”

“You see now why I’ve had to set up my tent further and further away from them,” Gale agreed, his next glass of wine arriving at the table.

Astarion was genuinely surprised at this – he had never known himself to be particularly noisy in this regard, unless his partner specifically asked him to be – he saw it as a distraction from the task at hand, and he was nothing if not a skilled craftsman.

“A noisy mutt will have to be muzzled,” Cazador’s wicked, sickly-sweet voice echoed in his mind. “Although your screams always sound the sweetest…”

Indeed, he had naturally learned to stifle his cries of all sorts, as the years went on…

“Ahaha, I’m not sure about that…” Astarion laughed dismissively, forcing himself to keep the mood light.

Karlach let out a sarcastic “Huh!” and pointed her thumb at the two of them. “Sound familiar? ‘Ohhh, gods, Tav…’” she moaned, in an exaggerated impression of his accent. “‘Ah, daAAAaahling — oh, fuck!’”

It was Astarion’s turn to blush, now, his eyes as wide as saucers, as the rest of their party laughed good-naturedly – including Tav.

“Don’t worry, my love,” Tav said sweetly, pressing her lips up against the pointed cuff of his ear – her voice just loud enough for him to hear now. “I adore your noises, too.”

He blinked. Tav, who had made sure to be as platonic as possible since their damned “friends” agreement, was now pressing her hand gently against his knee as she whispered these enticing words to him…

In an instant, his cock was straining against his pants, almost to the point of pain – though it was a welcome distraction from the ever-pressing ache in his bladder.

“At any rate, rest assured we should at least have a quiet night tonight,” Wyll concluded, taking a swig of his wine. “What with all the drink, and all.”

Tav raised an eyebrow. “In my experience, drinking only tends to make one louder…”

Astarion bit back a groan. She was trying to kill him. She had to be.

“Not if you’ve got the whiskey dick!” Karlach trilled with laughter, resulting in a raucous laugh from Lae’zel and Shadowheart.

“…Whiskey…. dick?” Astarion was sure he’d misheard. Perhaps he was more out of practice than he thought, if the kids were thinking up positions he hadn’t heard of.

Halsin nodded. “Ah, the folly of alcohol on a man’s body. Drinking, for all its benefits, does tend to restrict, er, crucial bloodflow, after a certain point.”

Well, that was certainly not a problem he was familiar with – particularly now.

Tav, quick to defend his honor, waved a hand dismissively. “For you non-vampires, perhaps. We’ve certainly never had any problem regarding bloodflow…”

Oh, how incredibly wrong she was. It had been his treacherous cock’s insistence on remaining stiff as a board that had kept him from relieving himself earlier.

“Well, it can’t be helped, darling,” Astarion grinned haughtily, hoping to move the conversation along to other matters. “Vampiric talents frequently surpass anything the human body is capable of doing.” He leaned in closer to her, his lips grazing the curl of her ear. “As you’re well aware.”

Tav felt a pulsing ache right at the center of her cunt.

He was trying to kill her. He had to be.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Wyll said, bringing himself to a standing position – then anchoring himself as he wobbled drunkenly at doing so. “I’m afraid the seal is broken, as they say.”

Tav stared at him as though he’d spoken another language. “The… seal… what now?”

“Oh, just something bar-hoppers say,” Shadowheart explained, ever-ready with her knowledge as a cleric. “There’s no real medical basis for it of course, but some people say the first piss during a night of drinking causes one to have to piss more frequently afterward.” She sipped at her wine and glanced at Wyll derisively. “Personally, I think it has more to do with the drinking itself, but what do I know?”

Wyll’s brow raised, challenging her. “Such a smart mouth from someone who about wet her knickers earlier.”

A flash of flirtatious anger on Shadowheart’s face, now, as he cheeks went pink. “I seem to recall the three of you wriggly men all huddled together over that crate of ours, so I wouldn’t be too self-righteous…” she teased.

At this, Gale began to choke mid-gulp on his wine, and Lae’zel began smacking him on the back in an attempt to help. “I’m – ow, thank you, Lae’zel! – I’m fine, just, ACK! – went down the wrong way.”

A soft whine pulled from Astarion’s mouth before he could stop it – although luckily it seemed that only Tav noticed. All this talk of pissing was not helping his situation.

“Damn, seems I missed out on some fun times in the privy,” Karlach mused. “Guess I’ll have to let someone else watch the table next time.”

“The lines shouldn’t be nearly as bad now, if anyone wants to come with me,” Wyll offered. “Order me another round, if the bar maiden comes back.”

It truly hadn’t been that long since they’d returned from the garden shed the first time, but it seemed Wyll wasn’t the only one feeling the need again.

“Hmmm, might as well,” Shadowheart agreed and also got to her feet. “Better to go now than to wait too long like last time, I suppose. For the sake of my knickers,” she added, shooting Wyll a playful side-eye glance.

Halsin let out a big, belly laugh that shook the table, and decided to join them as well.

Gale looked as though he was going to stand as well – but, as his eyes trailed to Karlach, who was already pushing herself away from the table with tipsy enthusiasm, he appeared to change his mind, and refocused his gaze to some invisible speck of dust on the table.

Mercifully, the wine seemed to be sapping Tav’s energy, and she let out a long, wide yawn. “I actually wouldn’t mind making our way back to camp,” she suggested, gathering her pack and placing her Owlbear snugly under her arm.

Gods, yes, please, Astarion thought, his swollen bladder and his cock pounding in tandem with his heartbeat. I can’t wait much longer…

Lae’zel chuffed. “The night is young! But fine, I’ll stay here with our things, and tell them you all had to go soak your weary old bones.”

Tav smiled, and plugged the cork back into the bottle of specialty wine she’d ordered specifically for Astarion. “I’ll take this with us, for the next time I want to get you all liquored up,” she said with a wink.

Cheeky little pup…

“I, uh, might just join you on that venture!” Gale agreed, wincing as he bumped his knee painfully on the table in his hurry to stand up.

“Oh wonderful!” Astarion crooned, the smile spreading across his face belied by the murder in his eyes. “I was hoping we’d get some more quality Gale time!”

“And how could I ever deny you such a joy, Astarion!” Gale returned sweetly. “Shall we?”

Tav had to take a moment to steel herself, her hand coming up to press against her temple as she stood from the table. Astarion instinctively held up a hand to help steady her – as did Gale, in a way that was almost certainly innocent and friendly, but pissed Astarion off beyond belief all the same.

“I… don’t think I ought to try the transportation spell just yet, I’m liable to crash us into a tree somewhere,” Tav admitted.

“Well, the Spell Shield goes for 100 meters’ radius around the building anyway, so it seems we’ll need to walk a bit regardless,” Gale reasoned. “We’d better get to it.”

Astarion’s throat went dry – he was already in constant discomfort thanks to his overly full – and getting fuller – bladder, and the act of standing from the table was already making it worse.

At least, with Gale tagging along, he could be assured that not a drop would escape him, no matter how painful the walk was.

But Gale looked… perturbed, as well, as they set off on their trek. As though he were also in a state of discomfort.

Astarion took solace in this. Good, he thought.

“Make sure you don’t leave Clive by himself, or Karlach will smash your head like a coconut,” Tav teased Lae’zel.

“Ch'k! I’d like to see her try,” Lae’zel huffed.

Tav shrugged, “Well, then she would at least be very, very sad,” she conceded, and turned on her heel.

But, glancing back, she couldn’t help but notice Lae’zel scooting the little bear closer to her protectively, as they made their way out the door.

~~~

Each step on the cobblestone jostled Gale’s bladder painfully, and with each passing moment he found himself chastising himself for not having gone to the privies again with the others.

He’d almost been about to join them, until he saw Karlach tagging along.

It was bad enough that they had to stop for him so frequently in their day-to-day travels – but, after all, a wizard needed to stay hydrated in order to maximize his brain power and strengthen his ties to the Weave. Even so, a true gentleman would never allow a lady to see him in such… compromised circumstances.

Granted, there were exceptions to this rule: he’d had very little choice in the matter when they were all in the garden shed earlier in the evening. Even as he squeezed his prick with all his might, it didn’t matter – his exhausted muscles had no choice but to relax, and he’d barely made it to the crate before flooding his robes completely – and would have, too, if Halsin hadn’t been kind enough to make room for him and Wyll.

But Karlach… well, he didn’t want to look weak in front of Karlach. More than he already did, rather – she could likely break him in half without a sweat, if she tried.

And so, his foolish pride had damned him to a long and arduous trip through the lower city, his mind reeling with drink and his abdomen filled to the brim with urine.

“Good to see the debauched citizens of Baldur’s Gate haven’t changed in all these years…” Astarion crooned sarcastically – although his usual cocky, exaggerated swagger was strangely held back, it seemed. His movements were small, tense, and hastened – as though he couldn’t wait to be as far away as possible.

“Keep an eye out,” Tav warned, “who knows how many cut-throats and pick pockets are out wandering tonight.” Then, with an affectionate little squeeze of Astarion’s arm: “Present company notwithstanding, of course.”

“Cute,” Astarion huffed – but a little smile spread across his face, in spite of himself.

“Has it, ah… has it been 100 meters yet, do you think?” Gale tried to sound as casual as possible –  but at this rate, drunk or not, the transportation spell might very well be his only hope of getting back to camp dry.

“What, the building we left about forty-five seconds ago? Somehow I doubt it.” Astarion’s voice was harsher than usual – and that was saying something, since Gale was well aware that he was not Astarion’s favorite person in the world to begin with.

“It shouldn’t take us that long to walk back,” Tav said reassuringly, her own words slurred a bit. “Thirty minutes, maybe?”

Gale and Astarion groaned in unison – then, affronted, locked eyes with each other at having heard the other groan.

“What were you telling me, about Spell Shields?” Tav asked, hoping to lighten the mood by encouraging Gale to begin one of his lectures.

And, to Astarion’s chagrin, he did just that – the next several minutes went by relatively quickly as Gale explained the inner workings of the spell in great detail, with Tav remaining impressively engaged considering the amount of alcohol she’d had.

Every single step was agony.

Ugh, please, let this go faster… Astarion silently begged to whatever gods might be listening.  

“Dribble, dribble…” Cazador’s revolting sneer flashed in his mind. “Poor mutt can’t control his bladder. Poor little useless boy…”

It felt as though every cell of his cursed body was filled with piss, down to the very tip of his cock. For the second time that day, he was silently grateful for his body’s inability to piss in front of others.

“…In conclusion,” Gale droned on, “it’s a truly fantastic spell, if not quite the magic hog. The wine festival must have some sort of manna reserve hidden away somewhe--- agh!”

Gale grimaced, his hands shooting to his groin.

“Are you alright?” Tav asked, brow raised in concern.

“Oh yes, I’m fine,” Gale reassured her, face going red, and tried to force himself upright again. “I, just… really should have visited the privy before we left.”

Astarion clenched his teeth and began making a mental list of reasons he shouldn’t murder Gale.

                 Reason Not to Kill Gale #1 – Tav would be sad

“Why didn’t you?” Tav asked sympathetically.

“It’s, ah, a bit… embarrassing, having to stop all the time,” Gale’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet now, his gaze cast downward. “Especially compared to Karlach, who never has to.”

…Ah. Understanding washed over Tav’s face at his revealing choice of words.

She had suspected some fluttering feelings between Gale and Karlach for a while – several previously inconspicuous moments flashed in her memory with renewed clarity, even in her drunkenness.

The two of them trudging along steadily in the dark forest of the Shadow-Cursed Lands – Tav had been able to pick up on their conversation, as they all stayed huddled close to the Moon Latern.

“Doing alright, Gale?” Karlach had asked.

“Oh, you know...” he had sighed, “Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay...”

Karlach nodded, her fiery eyes piercing through the darkness. “I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.”

And he had smiled at that – really smiled, unable to meet Karlach’s gaze.

Tav had had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

~~~
Karlach coming up behind him as he sorted through his books, just outside of his tent. Tav had been strumming her lute and admiring the setting sun, only a few feet away from them.

“So, Gale,” Karlach’s gaze followed his hands as he went from book to book. “Got any book recommendations for me?”

Gale looked appalled. “You can read?”

“Very funny,” Karlach smirked, picking up a nearby stick and making an exaggerated smacking motion; Gale laughed and held one of his books up as a shield.

“Yes, I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I’m missing,” Karlach replied, genuinely interested.

Gale’s face brightened like a child in a sweet shop. “Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep!”

“Oooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils!”

At this point, Gale’s expression was so elated that Tav had had to look away – feeling as though she had intruded on a special private moment.

He certainly loved her appreciation for magic.

~~~

Most recently, as they were travelling to the lower city, when he finally appeared to muster up the courage:

“Karlach… a hypothetical question for you,” he had begun. “If someone – not me, of course,” he clarified vehemently, “detected a… hint… of romantic interest in them from another… unnamed individual…”

Tav had had to fight back a grin as he seemed to almost lose his nerve, then continued in a high-pitched tenor: “Emm…. What might-“ and here, he had corrected himself, his voice returning to normal,  “that someone… do… about it?”

What a rare treat, to see the wizard stumbling with his words.

Karlach, relieved he had finally finished the damn question, had exasperatedly answered: “Whoever it is, just TALK TO THEM, Gale! And leave out the hypotheticals!”

His cheeks flushed at her words, but he seemed to say the next words to himself rather than to her. “Talking, right! …I’m good at that.”

~~~

And of course, today, when she’d won Clive, and Gale’s quick wit saved him from turning into smoldered ribbons at Karlach’s touch.

He had been genuinely delighted at how enthusiastically she had squeezed the little thing. The whole thing had nearly brought tears to Tav’s eyes, but again she’d had to look away – it seemed as though the moment was meant for them.

So it only made sense, Tav reasoned, that he might feel a bit self-conscious discussing such matters in Karlach’s presence (and, admittedly, he did have a rather small bladder; that was made evident by their frequent stops while travelling).

“We can stop,” Tav offered, glancing around – they were surrounded by cliffside now, so foliage was limited, but at least they were secluded enough.

Astarion wanted to scream – the gods-damned wizard was delaying his much-needed relief even further.

                 Reason Not to Kill Gale #2 – He held lots of (sometimes) useful information

“I… yes, if you wouldn’t mind,” Gale admitted, a twinge of color on his cheeks. “It’s… rather urgent, I’m afraid.”

Urgent?! Astarion had to physically turn away to keep from making an angry drunk fool of himself. You pissed an hour ago and it’s urgent?! You’d be dribbling like a puppy if you had half of what I’m holding!

“Excuse me just a moment…” Gale said, walking several meters away and unfastening his robes, his steps a bit wobbly with the wine.

                 Reason Not to Kill Gale #3 – We need the spells

“Are you alright?” Tav whispered to him now, tucking a white curl affectionately behind Astarion’s ear.

“Let’s just… get back to camp as quickly as possible, shall we?” He hissed evenly, maintaining his composure as much as possible, for her sake.

So they waited.

And waited.

“Well?!” Astarion yelled, the fragile grasp he had on his temper wavering. “Get it over with!”

“I… I’m trying!” Gale called back, over his shoulder.

“You said it was ‘urgent’ didn’t you!?” Astarion demanded, as one of his legs crossed over the other.

Tav raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say you’re one to talk.

“It is!” Gale insisted, “I just…. I have stage fright! Could you two keep talking?”

                 Reason Not to Kill Gale #4 – ……. He was a decent cook, or so he’d heard

Tav nodded enthusiastically, the wine somehow giving her even more zest for helpfulness than normal, to Astarion’s dismay.

“Just close your eyes,” she hummed, her voice adopting the mystical, grandiose quality she used for her songs. “And imagine a stream, rushing over the craggy earth below… feel the flow of the trickling water as it washes over the stones…”

Oh, hells, this was it. He was going to burst. After over 200 years of endless torture, he was going to explode into a puddle of piss in the middle of nowhere, all because of that damned wizard.

“Now move your hips gently back and forth, like the ebb and flow of the ocean, as the water overtakes you.”

Finally, the distant sound of a stream, and a long, satisfied sigh from Gale.

A tipsy grin spread over Tav’s face, satisfied at having helped her friend, and turned back towards the path – to Astarion, who looked at her furiously. “Very helpful!” he hissed.

“I’m sorry!” Tav insisted, looking so despaired that Astarion had to stop himself from comforting her.

“It’s fine, for gods’ sake, let’s just get a move on!”

Tav felt truly horrible, her foggy, wine-laden brain searching for some sort of solution.

“I… might be able to make it easier!” she offered.

“There is no possible way to make this easier!” Astarion spat, shuffling from foot to foot.

With that, Tav took her hand and cupped it around the bulge of his cock.

Oh… Oh.

His cock began to harden immediately as she squeezed it gently, moving her wrist up and down just a bit, to increase the friction.

“I… I’m sorry…” Tav said quietly, meeting his eyes now – she had acted without thinking, and in her right mind she would have realized that this was a definite breach of boundaries. The last thing Astarion needed was to think she felt entitled to do whatever she wanted with his body.

But it was working – just like in the garden shed earlier, being erect was taking some of the pressure off his agonized bladder.

“Do you… want me to stop?” she whispered.

He had missed her touching him like this. He hadn’t realized how much…

His hips naturally began to move with her, pushing his eager cock deeper into her grasp.

“No…. don’t stop…” Astarion sighed, his eyes fluttering shut as an entirely different sort of pressure began to build, deep at the core of him.

“Is it… helping?” Tav asked, her voice growing husky as she widened her range of motion to stroke from base to tip, over and over.

“It… it feels…” Astarion felt his bullocks begin to ache.

“I’m feeling loads better!” Gale’s voice interrupted, his footfalls on the rocky terrain snapping them out of their reverie. Astarion let out a quiet sob as Tav removed her hand from him.

Gale was making his way back to them, his wine-logged brain struggling with the ties of his robes as he went at an infuriatingly leisurely pace.

“Sorry, friends, just can’t seem to get this damned thing fastened…”

Finally, Astarion’s patience snapped completely. “Gods, could you go any slower?!” he shouted, arms gesturing frantically. “I’ve seen stone elementals that move faster than you! You’d think you’d have gotten better at making piss stops, since we have to make them ten times a day for you!”

Gale looked wounded at the sudden burst of anger. Then, his brow furrowed in indignation. “Easy for the vampire to say,” he retorted. “Your crackled, dusty old heart has no idea what it’s like – to be too ashamed to even mention pissing in front of the woman you love.”

Astarion, never at a loss for a snarky comeback, was eerily silent now. He was still fuming, his eyes narrowing in fury, but he looked to be at a loss for words.

“You have no experience in these matters – the heart or the bladder – so I’ll thank you to keep your thoughts to yourself, thank you,” Gale concluded.

“That’s where your books seem to have failed you, wizard,” Astarion seethed. “Vampires are perfectly equipped for matters of both. And more so than a human wizard’s, as it seems.”

Gale blinked, taken aback for a moment. Granted, his research on vampirism was limited, but he had never heard mention of them still having such needs – then again, most research was too busy focusing on the whole blood-sucking creature of the night thing…

Even through the cloudy haze of alcohol, Gale recognized that perhaps he was wrong – about this particular subject, at least. And it would make sense as to why Astarion had been so irrationally angry all of a sudden.

Judging by the twinge of guilt slowly coming over Astarion’s face, Gale deduced he was correct.

Then, judging by the knowing look in Tav’s eyes as she met his gaze, he concluded he was indubitably correct.

“…Do you… need to go as well, Astarion?” Gale asked, gently and kindly, fearing he may have discovered a touchy topic.

~~~

Astarion realized, a moment too late, that he’d just given away a crucial bit of information.

Gale, along with the rest of them, had assumed that vampires were completely above this particular need altogether.

Until now, of course.

“Do you need to go as well, Astarion?” the wizard asked.

                 Reason Not to Kill Gale #5 – …He wasn’t laughing

“No,” Astarion hissed. “No, I don’t.”

At that, Astarion swept Tav into his arms, eliciting a little gasp from her, and thrust his leg between hers. “Now if you’ll be so kind as to transport yourself back to camp,” Astarion simpered, eyes locked on Gale as he grasped Tav’s breast in his hand lewdly, “you’ve been a third wheel for long enough.”

“Hm. I’ll leave you to it, then,” Gale said, and lifted his hand to the air to evoke the spell. “Portare!”

And in a flash, he was gone.

~~~

The moment the wizard was gone, Astarion released his hold on Tav.

Finally, finally, finally, they were alone – and he had to get away from her before he pissed on her – or fell flat on his drunken face and pissed himself, for that matter.

He only made it about a meter away before his exhausted penis finally reached its limit, his piss spraying from him with staggering force as he wrenched it from his pants.

For a moment, he could do nothing but stand there, a soft groan escaping him as hours and hours of piss poured from him.

“The absolute audacity of that bloody wizard!” he yelled, his frustration returning to him only once the initial shock of overwhelming relief passed.

“Bad enough that he should assume he knows more about vampire anatomy than I do, but the very idea that he had anything resembling an ‘urgent’ need, when I hadn’t even finished my first piss earlier!”

His piss thundered onto the ground ceaselessly as he ranted.

“And what the hells were you thinking, with all that ‘rushing stream over the craggy earth’ nonsense?!” He asked, his voice still strained. “Were you trying to kill me? A wooden stake through the heart would have been less cruel!”

Tav just stood there, jaw dropped, in awe and disbelief.

“I’ve never needed to piss so badly in my entire life! That’s over two fucking centuries, mind you!”

Still, his piss never wavered for a second, forming a formidable puddle at his feet.

“I’m going to have to wash these pants now, you know! And I-- ” his anger was abated temporarily as a pleasant shiver ran up his spine – “ahhh – … I just got them!”

For the first time, he turned his head towards Tav, his cock still pissing full force. “Well? Say something!”

But Tav simply stared at his cock, pride emanating off of her, her face beaming.

And it was then that Astarion realized what he was doing.

He was standing there, cock exposed, pissing a full day’s worth of piss directly in front of her.

And he hadn’t even given it a second thought.

His anger dissipated, replaced with utter shock. For a moment, it was as though he was outside of his body entirely.

And, as he looked at the joy on Tav’s face… he felt his cock twitch with excitement.

No, gods dammit… he felt as though he might start crying as his stream was stifled by his arousal.

Not yet….

He let out a whine, shaking himself up and down as though to snap his treacherous cock out of it.

“What’s wrong?” Tav asked, distressed.

“It’s too hard now!” Astarion hissed in frustration. “The same bloody thing happened again!”

Tav gave a slow nod as her alcohol-addled brain finally put two and two together. “So… earlier, in the shed, when…”

“Yes!” Astarion sighed, contemplating ripping his penis off entirely and being done with it altogether. “And the damn thing is working against me at every turn!”

But Tav was resolved, now – determined to help him however she possibly could. “Then we just need to get it to… go back to normal,” she stated matter-of-factly, coming up beside him and nestling under his arm.

“May I?” she said, holding her hand up to him in offering.

“Having you hold my prick for me is not going to solve the problem at ha—”

Tav silenced him with her lips, feeling the creases in his face soften as his anger was gradually forgotten. Then, she wrapped her hand around him just as she had earlier, and began to stroke him from the base to the tip.

“You… you don’t have to do this, darling…” Astarion gasped for air, even as his hands came to rest on her shoulders, granting her full access to him.

“I want to,” Tav insisted, her voice growing husky. “I want to make you feel good…”

She took her other hand and cupped his testicles, applying just a bit of extra pressure as she stroked him up and down.

“You do…” Astarion sighed, his eyes transfixed on the way her hand moved on him. “Gods, Tav, you do...”

She took her hand from his bullocks and took one of his hands from her shoulders, then slid it beneath her shirt so that he was cupping her naked breast.

He groaned at the feel of her perky nipple between his fingers, and his mouth captured hers as though drawn together by gravity.

She was getting faster, now… He could feel the familiar pressure building at the base of his cock, a bead of clear liquid forming at his tip. Tav took her thumb and spread it around his cockhead, and his eyes fluttered to the top of his head with a guttural moan.

“Was your cock hard for me like this, in the shed earlier?” she murmured sultrily.

“Y-yes…” he sighed, flicking her nipple with his thumb in time to her movements on his cock. “I couldn’t stop staring at your quim, and then… those little noises you were making…”

“You made me so wet, at the table… I felt my quim throbbing,” Tav whispered conspiratorially, her breathing growing labored.

“Ffffuuuckk…” Astarion sighed, tightening his grip on her. “Tav, you’re… you’re going to make me—”

Astarion had never been quick to finish – he was well-practiced enough to know exactly how to hold off until the proper moment, until his partner was well and truly satisfied. But this – this intimate touching, with the sole purpose of bringing him to completion… it was something he felt totally unprepared for. And by the nine hells, he wasn’t usually so sensitive.

“I want you to,” Tav huffed, quickening her pace once more – until he was truly careening towards the edge. “Come for me, Astarion.”

And he did – and it was possibly the most beautiful image she’d ever seen.

His mouth formed a perfectly round O, his eyebrows coming to a peak in the middle as he shuddered, his voice echoing off the surrounding cliffsides. Streaks of hot white seed shot from him as he held onto Tav for dear life.

Then, as soon as his cock finished twitching through his orgasm, he felt his piss rushing straight to the tip.

He tried to warn her – he tried to tell her to let go of him, to break away – but he was simply too exhausted and too drunk to even find the words.

But of course, Tav knew just what he needed – as soon as he finished coming, she had carefully pointed the tip of his cock so that his stream landed safely on the ground in front of them.

“Ohhhhh…” he sighed, the relief of finally pissing, freely and completely, almost as good as his climax.

Tav was absolutely overjoyed at Astarion’s progress, staring at his stream in proud, affectionate silence. What an incredible day they’d had…

Astarion rested his head on top of hers. “Thank you….” he murmured, his entire body tingling with pleasure.

Tav pressed a kiss against his neck and gave him a gentle shake as he finally trickled to stop.

“Let’s go home,” she said, finally pulling apart just enough to cast the transportation spell.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-The Next Morning / Day 8 of Being Friends-

Astarion woke with three incredible dilemmas.

Firstly, he had to piss – but that was to be expected. It was the morning, after all. And Tav had insisted they drink plenty of water to avoid a hangover (granted, he wasn’t entirely sure he could get a hangover, but with this undead-specific wine Tav had purchased, he wasn’t willing to take the chance).

Secondly, his gods-damned prick was as hard as a rock. And not just the typical morning wood he’d experienced every morning for over 200 years; he would’ve expected that.  This was a hardness he rarely felt – at least since his escape from Cazador, when his body wasn’t truly his own.

This was a deep, yearning ache.  

He’d had an endless parade of lovers throughout his centuries of life – most of them outside of his control – and was certainly familiar with the physicality of sexual pleasure.

But he hadn’t felt this true desire – not for a release, not for a moment of distraction or validation, but… for someone, in… well, longer than he could remember.

It all had to do with the third dilemma: the sleeping bard nestled cozily on top of him.

Her hair was splayed across his naked chest as she slept – a deep sleep, judging by the way her eyes moved beneath her eyelids. He could feel the tiny tickle of her eyelashes against his skin.

He’d rather die than move her.

And he wasn’t entirely sure what he’d do if he did – particularly after last night.

He had felt as though he would blow away with the breeze.

His bladder was empty – not just empty, but exhausted – his arousal was satiated, and his mind was pleasantly cloudy with wine.

They had appeared inside Tav’s tent with a flash of light, and it had taken him several moments to realize Tav had transported them – that he hadn’t dreamed the entire absurd ordeal.

“This is my tent, Plonk,” Tav had said, brandishing the Owlbear from her pack and setting it down next to her bedroll, using her small stack of books as a makeshift chair.

“Plonk?” Astarion chuckled. “I thought his name was Shirley.”

“That was Karlach’s idea,” Tav reminded him, pulling off her socks.

“I’m not surprised – I believe she named her bear Clive,” he retorted, and began unlacing his boots.

Tav bundled up her socks and threw them at him; they bounced off the back of his head, and he shot her a wicked little smile.

“It’s because of the only other time I’ve seen you drunk,” Tav explained, laughter in her voice. “…or acting drunk, anyway.”

“Ah yes! My little run-in with the bear.” He remembered it fondly.

Tav spread her arms and wobbled in an exaggerated greeting. “You said ‘There you are! My friend!’ and then you snorted.”

He raised his hand to his chest, aghast. “I most certainly did not snort!”

“You did!” Tav insisted, grinning. “And I said, ‘At your service,’ and you said, ‘Are you now?’”

“‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep, darling,’” Astarion finished the quote with her, nodding, the memory returning to him.

“And I asked you about drinking the bear’s blood versus drinking my blood, and you said,” – and here, Tav had done a rather unflattering impression of him, with his accent highly exaggerated and his eyebrows wiggling like a madman – “You're comparing plonk to vintage wine! You can make merry with either, but they are not the same.’”

He tossed his head back and guffawed. “Spot-on impression, darling!”

The increasingly familiar ache in his chest – love, he supposed it was – returned. He was touched that she had remembered such an insignificant detail of something he’d said.

“So, if I’m the vintage wine, then he’s the Plonk!” Tav concluded, gesturing towards the little toy.

Astarion smiled. “It’s an excellent name…” his voice trailed off.

Their eyes met.

Their smiles faded, just a bit.

Then, they faded completely, as the air grew much too hot.

“I’m… exhausted!” Tav finally broke the silence. “I’ve never been so excited for pajamas,” she chirped, searching the small crate by her bedroll for a clean set of linen sleepwear. “I have a pair of yours in here somewhere too.”

Gods, she was beautiful… he found himself staring, and glanced away shyly as she caught him doing so.

“I’m making a pile of laundry…” Tav had said, sliding her pants down and tossing them on the floor next to the bundle of socks she’d lobbed at his head.

She was kind enough to turn her head so he could remove his pants – he felt his face grow hot as he noticed the small wet patch right at the groin.

He clenched his teeth and forced the subject from his mind – there would be plenty of time to be humiliated with himself later.

She shot him his favorite dimpled half-smile and tossed his sleep shorts to him.

Tav turned away just long enough to pull off her shirt and slip into her nightgown – by the time she turned back around, he had changed as well.

“You know…” he began, his voice sultry, as he brought his hand up to cradle her cheek, “I would very much like to return the favor, darling…”

She’d brought him to such an incredible release –

“About that…” Tav blushed, gaze drifting to the ground. “I… wanted to apologize.”

Astarion blinked. He must have been drunker than he thought.

He couldn’t even think of a clever response, he was so taken aback.

“Apologize...?”

“For touching you… like that,” Tav clarified.

He laughed, until he realized she wasn’t joking. “…You’re serious?”

“I’m drunk – that’s not an excuse. But I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t ask before I touched you like that,” Tav said.

His heart squeezed. Tav looked far too distraught to be joking.

“Darling. You saved me, I was… desperate.” His voice and expression were entirely serious now. “Please don’t apologize.”

“I know, but we had an agreement about not having sex.”

He was becoming exasperated now. “We didn’t have sex!”

“I know, but it’s close enough,” Tav held her hands up in surrender. “I know it’s not that big of a deal, but I wanted to say I was sorry all the same.” She smiled now. “That doesn’t mean I regret it, mind you.”

He huffed. “Well, I assume I don’t have to tell you how I felt about it. I should think it was self-evident...”

Tav’s smile widened and she pressed a kiss to his lips. “I know. But I want you to be able to trust me. I have to be able to trust myself not to give in to what I want at the moment.”

Ah – now that had been an interesting choice of words.

“And what I want at this moment is to fall asleep,” she concluded, coming to her bedroll and holding the blankets open for him.

He had to admit, that did sound incredible.

“But actually, go grab us a couple water flasks first,” she said, letting the blanket fall. “Or we’ll be so hungover that I’ll turn into a raisin, and then you’ll have to feed from another bear. Maybe Halsin.”

Now, as she slept on top of him, his cock aching for her, he was realizing just how difficult it was going to be to honor their agreement.

He loved Tav – he was certain of that.  Or at least, he loved her as much as he was able to love anyone, or anything. With every possible speck of his wrinkled, atrophied heart.

His fear was that it simply wasn’t enough.

Could he truly say he loved her, when even the words “I love you” had been nothing but a weapon to him for centuries?

He had never felt this way before, he knew that. He could think of no other word for it but love. But even so, how much could “love” that came from him really be worth?

On one hand, sex had been a way of life – a pastime he’d been forced into, a mask he had hidden behind at every turn – for so long, that he wasn’t sure he would ever truly enjoy it again.

But on the other hand…

What if sex was all he had to offer?

And, confusingly enough, he did want Tav. His body wanted her as much as his mind did.

He had never met anyone so exhausting.

He felt Tav stirring on top of him, and shifted his hips away from her, silently willing his erection to wither.

Gods, he loved having her hair on his chest like this… he really did need to piss, though. And he could already hear their companions begin to rustle around outside

“Good morning…” he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

“Mmm…” Tav let out a little sigh that shot down his naked chest and sent goosebumps up his entire body. Invigorating.

“Tav… my sweet…”

She opened her eyes, caught his gaze, and smiled, before closing her eyes and laying her head back onto his chest. “Good morning,” she answered.

“It’s time to get up, darling,” he murmured, pressing another long, slow kiss, a little closer to her cheek now.

Without opening her eyes, she gathered her hair and tossed it behind her, revealing her naked neck and shoulders.

Gods. Her neck was fucking incredible. He couldn’t help but stare.

“Five more minutes,” she whispered – and pointed to the curve of her neck with a single finger, directing him.

He felt a twinge of guilt; he hadn’t woken her up just to feed from her. Moreover, he didn’t want her to think he had woken her up just to feed from her. “Oh, I, I didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s alright,” she soothed him, eyes still closed and a little smile pricking her lips. “I want you to. I like it.” As if to emphasize her point, she shifted her head away from him just a bit, accentuating her neck further. “I want to hold you.”

It was as though she sucked the air from his lungs.

He held his breath and silently thanked the gods that her eyes were closed, as his own filled with tears. “Alright…” he choked, blinking them way as he pressed the very tip of his fangs to her skin. “Here?” he hummed.

She gave a tiny, imperceptible nod, and he bit down as gently as he could. Then, a quiet little mewl of pain, and she wrapped her arms around him.

Her hot, rich blood filled his mouth, and his entire body tingled with bliss as her essence overtook him.

…

Tav gave a happy little sigh, now.

…

He could have died, just then. And it all would have been worth it.

…

Astarion suckled on her just enough to curb his thirst – he’d done it enough times, by now, to know how much was too much – but kept his mouth pressed on her, not daring to move a muscle.

He kissed her neck. Again. Again.

Then, he felt her pulse quicken beneath his lips – heard the little hitch of her breath.

Fuck, he wanted her. He was certain she could feel his hardness now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care…

“We should get going,” Tav sighed, her voice breathy, and she pushed gently against his chest.

Astarion kept kissing her, his hold on her tightening just a bit… just one more…

Tav’s hand slid down a bit, right below his abdomen.

“Oohf!” Astarion groaned, eyes widening as his bladder ached and his piss surged right to the tip of him. “You wicked little…. That was unfair.”

“Well, I have to piss, I don’t know about you,” Tav said, pulling herself up out of the bedroll and reaching for her crate.

“I… yes…” Astarion felt heat rush over his face, to the tips of his ears. He lowered his voice and let his gaze trail off to the side. “It’s… first thing in the morning, after all…”

“Well, you’ve made such incredible progress, my love,” Tav said, grabbing her sponge, towel, and bar of soap from the crate.

Then, she took his hand and helped him up from the ground. “I’m so proud of you, Astarion.”

His heart swelled.

“Welp, see ya!” she said, making her way towards the opening of the tent.

Astarion blinked. “Wait – where are you going?!”

Tav raised an eyebrow and held her soap bar up for him to see, “Headed to the river to scrub up.”

She had to fight the urge to run over and kiss him again as he raised his arm and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “But I have to…”

“Go ahead, darling,” she smiled. “You don’t need my permission.”

He chuffed. “What, you’re not going to have me do Step 45: Stand on My Head, or piss into the wind without getting wet, or something?”

Tav’s brow raised, visibly intrigued as she pictured what he was describing. “Well, I supposed we could, if you’re heart’s really set on it, darling.”

He let out a little half-hearted chuckle. “I’m serious.”

“There are certainly more steps, darling,” she said, crossing over to him and kissing him squarely on the forehead. “But there’s no need to rush yourself – it will take a long time to unlearn those, ah, bad habits... But it’ll get a little bit easier every day. So we should focus on mastering Steps 1-4.”

“What was Step 4 again?” Astarion asked.

She counted them off on her fingers: “Step 1 was telling me when you had to piss. Step 2 was telling me you had to piss, and then going for a piss while I waited for you to come back.”

Each mention of the word “piss” from her pretty lips was making his need a bit worse; he was beginning to wish she would recite the list a little faster…

“Step 3 was pissing within earshot,” Tav continued, “and Step 4 was pissing within my line of sight. And we knocked both of those out in one day!” she grinned. “Although we’ll still need to practice, of course.”

Astarion said nothing, but felt the side of his mouth twitch upward just a bit. Of course.

“And besides, we certainly don’t have time to dedicate a full lesson every single time the need arises,” Tav reasoned, leaning in a bit closer to him and lowering her voice. “You may not need to go quite as often as Gale, darling, but we still need to do some adventuring.”

He genuinely laughed at that – then winced at the slight twinge of pain this caused in his bladder.

Tav grinned. “Although we do technically have Gale to thank for helping us get to Step 4!”

At that, Astarion groaned and made an expression of despair. “Ugh, don’t say that ever again, darling.”

And with that, she turned her heel and exited into the sunshine, her laughter trailing after her.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

There were many, many things that Tav didn’t understand.

For one thing, she couldn’t be sure what she thought of “morality,” in general.

And if it were possible to judge another soul’s morality, she was certain that she was ill-equipped to do so – particularly since she hadn’t endured over two centuries of torture.

And, after all, Astarion had spent long enough as a subservient to have earned some questionable morality.

Who was she to pass judgment, when she’d had only a handful of decades of relative ease and joy – especially since, the more she travelled, the more she realized just how naïve she was – against her companions, who had lived for centuries? Halsin was over 300 years old. Jaheira was 150.

Astarion had spent over 200 years without having full control of his body – without creating any sort of meaningful connection with another soul.

So she understood, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she had no idea what he was going through. She could never possibly understand the position he was in. Even in his most callous moments, she had to remind herself that her morality, her expectations for her idealistic view of the world, should never be forced onto him. Otherwise, she would control him just as Cazador had.

But she understood that Astarion wasn’t hers to control, either.

And as much as she loved him – and, gods, despite everything, she loved him – she would never expect him to give up his newfound freedom to mosey around with her until she was a frail old woman.

She didn’t expect him to be around forever – but she would damn sure make sure he had the opportunity for freedom.

She understood his rage.

She understood his need for revenge.

And she was determined to see Cazador dead – by Astarion’s hand.

Tav could certainly have her own hopes as to what he would do with his newfound freedom once he had it – but she wouldn’t allow herself to focus on such hypotheticals – it would only make it hurt worse if they never came to pass.

She would never forget the way his voice had sounded, the first time he’d truly opened up about Cazador… it felt like a lifetime ago now. Before they’d ever even kissed…

The look of anguish on his face as he spoke of his tormentor – not just anger, but vulnerable, fearful, scarred anguish – still caused her physical pain whenever it flashed across her memory.

“He reveled in having power over me,” his voice had sounded hollow, his face twisted into a sneer, as though the words themselves pained him. “Because those with power can do whatever the hell they want.”

Tav shook her head – not to deny what he was saying, but to reject it as the only option. “The strong have a duty to protect the weak. Many times, they fail.”

“They're doing a piss poor job, then,” he huffed. “The strong had two centuries to pluck me from torture, but no one came.” His eyes were full of fire once again.

Tav gave a small nod, but said nothing. It was clear that he needed someone to listen.

“No, it was the mind flayers that rescued me,” Astarion concluded, as though to himself.

“…I’m glad they did,” Tav said, genuinely.

He had looked at her, then – as though bracing himself for her to finish with a cruel joke, or preparing to respond with a snide remark.

But she had just held his gaze. And for just a brief moment, he had seemed unsure how to proceed.

“…Still, that was the past. I'll never have to grovel for him again,” he concluded.

“True, you can start over,” Tav assured him, her voice steely. “You can be better than what he made you.”

“Exactly! I can be better than him. Stronger. More powerful. More…” Here, he noticed that her face remained solemn, and the sardonic mask of the clown slipped seamlessly back onto him.

 “.....Oh. You meant ‘be kinder?’” he spread the words out derisively. “Pet bunnies, that sort of thing?” He waved a dismissive hand.

“I've no objection to being nice, of course. Once I have the power to bend others to my will,” he grinned.

He was blinded by the idea of freedom – of power. He couldn’t see the trap he was walking into – of becoming the very thing he despised.

“Power corrupts. You'd do well to remember that,” Tav stated simply.

And now, he had stepped a bit closer to her – seemed to relish in her widened eyes and quickened breath. “Oh, I hope so. A little corruption sounds fun.”

There he was, flirting again.

Tav simply wasn’t buying it. It was too… performative.

When she didn’t respond to his advances, he appeared to drop the act again, just a bit – the devilish smile fading from his face. “I spent centuries as the victim of a corrupt man,” he explained, his voice hardly more than a whisper – and for the first time, he seemed… defensive, rather than dismissive.

Tav nodded. “I understand,” she replied. “But how many centuries will you spend becoming him?”

Astarion’s mouth opened, closed, then opened again – his eyes widening. Then, finally: “I’m embracing this power! You should too.”

Tav had begun to lose her patience, now; she didn’t appreciate his evading her questions. But even so, she had hit a nerve just now - she had seen it.

The others didn’t trust him – and he was giving them every opportunity to prove them correct in doing so. But there was something there.

So, rather than question him further, she said, “Careful, there are heroes about. I'd hate for them to get the right idea about you.”

Astarion cackled, and held his arms out wide. “Let them! Heroes are half the damn problem. Fools that believe in right and wrong - good and evil.”

Such subjective terms…

“Heroes didn't save me from Cazador: mind flayers did,” Astarion spat.

Well, they were certainly getting nowhere further tonight.

“You're free now. That's what matters,” Tav concluded, trying to sound impartial yet supportive.

Astarion turned his face to her now, glowering. “Is it? What good is freedom if I'm always watching the shadows? …No, I'll be safe when I'm powerful enough to grind Cazador into the dust. Powerful enough to do whatever the hell I want.”

Tav had simply nodded, told him to have a good night, and walked away.

Frustrating though he was, she couldn’t help but ache for the pain he was so clearly in.

~~~

-Day 12 of Being Friends-

Panic seized Tav’s body as Astarion’s voice pierced through her dreams.

“Get the hells away from me!”

Tav was on her feet before her eyes were fully open, her hand naturally grabbing the dagger she kept beneath her bedroll. They had fallen asleep around the campfire - gods dammit, they should have been more cautious…

Two intruders surrounded Astarion, their glowing red eyes piercing through the darkness. As Tav's eyes adjusted, their forms became clearer.

A slight, pretty tiefling woman in maroon rogue armor stood timidly next to a tall, muscular man with dark hair down to his naked torso, wearing only trousers and boots.

They were surrounding Astarion, but crucially, they were holding no weapons - they even held their hands in front of them as if in surrender.

Even so, Astarion was looking at them indignantly, fury in his eyes. These were no strangers… in fact, their eyes were almost sorrowful as they gazed back at him.

“Peace, brother,” the woman’s voice was quiet and soothing. “We have come to take you home.”

Tav lowered her dagger to her side, cautiously relaxing just a bit. Astarion had mentioned having “siblings” before – fellow slaves under Cazador’s command.

“The master needs all seven of us for the ceremony,” the man spoke now, earnestly and urgently. “Come with us and be reborn. We’ll live again!”

Well, that settled that – with their mention of the master and ceremony, they had solidified their identities in Tav’s mind.

But she would die before she let them take him back to him.

Luckily, it looked as though some of their companions were waking up as well -  Lae’zel and Gale both peered cautiously out from their tents, watching attentively in case things turned violent. She heard a low growl from somewhere behind her, where either Jaheira or Halsin were likely in Wild Form, making their presence known…

“How did you find us?” Tav commanded, keeping her voice cordial yet stern. Better to not make immediate enemies of them…

The woman’s glowing orange eyes met Tav’s gaze, now, and she felt her breath catch in her throat.

“Master Cazador has known where Astarion was this entire time. He knew he would return,” she answered. “The Rite – the Master needs him. He must attend. We will live again, Astarion. The scars on our backs are sealed with the cruelest power. Seven spawn, seven sigils."

"You're number seven,” the man finished for her, “the final piece of the Rite. He needs us all for the Black Mass."

Astarion glared at them derisively. “Oh, I’m well aware of what the master needs,” he mocked, eyes glowering. “…But don’t we deserve better?”

“Better? What do you mean, better?” the man asked.

“After all these centuries of torment, I know what you all want. More than power – more than to walk in the sun,” Astarion’s voice was sweet, persuasive – all sense of animosity gone from it. “You want to see him dead.”

The man and woman glanced at one another.

“The Rite of Profane Ascension will be mine,” Astarion declared, his voice almost gleeful now. “And he won’t see a scrap of its glory. I am going to complete the ritual as The Ascendant, and then I am going to kill him.”

Tav felt her stomach drop – he had never stated it quite so plainly before. It was true that she wanted him to have his freedom, but the idea of him becoming a power-hungry monster… it wasn’t her choice to make, but she desperately hoped he would reconsider.

“This is your chance,” Astarion continued. “Name me your new master. We will get our revenge, AND… you will all live again.”

But he was lying.

He knew full well that his kin would die in the ritual – but he couldn’t just kill them now, although that might be more merciful. Without all seven sigils, the Rite couldn’t be performed at all.

He needs them to run willingly to their deaths, Tav realized, her heart aching, thinking they stand a chance against their master…

It wasn’t her place to stop him – it wasn’t her place to kill them herself, to make the choice for him.

But she couldn’t let them be led to slaughter. Not without at least warning them of their fate.

“Have you no heart, Astarion?” Tav said, finally, turning her face toward her lover. “You’re asking them to die for you in this ritual.”

Astarion stared at her from beneath his lashes, the angry expression on his face belied by the look of pleading in his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that…” he admonished.

Tav raised an eyebrow.

“With the sweet little ‘disappointed I’m not getting cuddly Astarion’ pout!” he clarified, gesturing towards her in exasperation. As though she were causing him physical pain just by looking at him.

“I can’t take it,” he finished, his lips curling in disgust. “I can’t be what you want to see in me.”

She didn’t see him as a monster – and that was her mistake.

The sooner she learned how repugnant he truly was, the better they would both be for it. She would find someone who wasn’t so fundamentally… broken. And he would relish in solitude, his power unmatched and the entirety of the city under his thumb, for the rest of his days.

She would spread happiness wherever she went, without him there to sap it from her like a leech.

“…Die… in the ritual?” His sister’s voice brought him back to the present moment. “Whatsoever are you speaking of?” She was nervous, unsure – as though desperately wanting to believe her own words in spite of herself. “We are going to cheat undeath…”

His eyes trailed back to Tav, who simply looked at his siblings with a somber look of grief.

“….The master doesn’t need to lie to us,” his sister continued, “He controls us, fully. Why go through the trouble of giving us hope?”

Then, his brother interrupted her, his voice hardening with resolve as the truth of their situation set in. “Because it’s more cruel… shit, we’re doomed.”

Tav held her hand to her chest, unable to find the words to convey her grief. Her… helplessness.

“But you’ll never usurp him,” the man concluded finally, his eyes fixing on Astarion once again. “You stopped fighting him centuries ago.”

For the first time since his sibling’s ambush, Astarion looked as though his resolve was weakening.

 “You were always weak, brother. We don't follow weak.”

Before Astarion could respond, his siblings’ bodies began to shake and writhe in pain.

“The bond’s hold! He owns us. We have no choice, we must obey!” the woman’s voice was strained as she fought the wicked puppet master invading her consciousness. “Get out of here, Astarion, before—"

And at that, the two strangers had attacked, their bodies overtaken once more.

Their camp looked a bit worse for wear, afterwards.

Their companions had come to their aid immediately, but it had still been a formidable challenge to defeat the two vampire spawn.

Just as Tav was about to land the finishing blow on the pretty woman’s neck, the two of them disappeared in a flash of light – no doubt summoned back to their master’s lair for their inevitable punishment for failing to retrieve Astarion.

And now, Astarion and Tav had retreated back to his tent, the others being gracious enough to allow them to sequester themselves away without argument – not even Gale had anything to say, after seeing the tumultuous look in Astarion’s eyes.

He let out a sigh. “What a mess…” Then, trying to lighten the mood – and distract from his own turmoil – “Well! At least you’ve met my family now.”

Tav was nonplussed. “I can’t believe how you lied to them. You know they’ll have to die for the Rite to happen.”

Astarion shrugged, as though it had barely crossed his mind. “What does it matter? There’s only six of them. And they are vampire spawn.”

The callousness of his words – not the humorous, sarcastic pessimism of his typical speech, but the well-practiced insistence of someone trying to convince themselves – gave Tav pause. “You don’t have sympathy for others sharing your plight?”

Astarion grimaced and avoided the question altogether. “No one ever looked out for me! No one ever said a kind thing to me!” He pointed towards himself emphatically, his brows furrowing. “…You’re the only one.”

Judging by the look in her eye, she was unconvinced. “Other people don’t have a heart like you!” he insisted, gesturing towards her. “You’re! - …” he paused, feeling his face lighten as he searched for words to describe her. “….you.”

Their eyes locked, and he had to steel himself to finish his point. “No one is like that.”

Tav took a step closer to him, holding his gaze. “There are many others like me who will care for you, if you care for them.”

He let out a single, unenthusiastic laugh. There was no one quite like Tav – and he would know, after over 200 years. “Don’t sell yourself so short…”

Tav brought her hand up to cradle his face, and he leaned into her warmth.

“The world can be a wonderful, kind place, Astarion, when you find a home in it,” she murmured.

“You say, as a mind flayer thrall who spends their life sorting out other people’s problems…” he tutted; for just a moment, the ghost of a smile appeared on her face, only to disappear again. “I’m doing this for you too, you know. To make sure we’re both safe. Forever. For good.”

She just stared at him.

He sighed; she was clearly not going to be reasoned with on this.

“But… perhaps there’s something in what you say…” he admitted, if only to get her to stop looking at him like that. With… disappointment? Disdain? Disbelief?

She was quiet for a moment, as though choosing her words carefully. “…Was it true what they said? That you gave up fighting him long ago?”

His heart clenched at the way she looked at him, and before he could stop himself, he had leaned in and yelled at her, furious at the accusation in her eyes. “You don’t know what it was like!” he hissed.

Tav’s eyes widened, alarmed at the harshness of his tone.

“…There was no way out!” he continued, his voice wet with tears.

Tav bit the inside of her cheek, forcing herself to keep her composure.

She had never seen him cry, had never heard his voice so sorrowful…

“Once,” Astarion continued, “in my first decade of my slavery – I found…” his eyes lightened a bit, fondness joining the age-old sorrow his gaze. His brows raised at some fond memory “…. a darling boy….” He shook his head, as though searching for the words, and ultimately failing. “…who I couldn’t bear to bring back to him, so—”

Here, his voice broke – and Tav felt a physical ache at the tears that appeared in his eyes.

And still, he refused to let them fall – refused to allow them to run down his cheeks.

“…. I ran,” he admitted. “Instead of hurting that…” He held his hand aloft, as though holding the memory in front of him for Tav to see “…sweet man…”

There was a tenderness to his voice, as he spoke of this long-lost lover. The look of torment on his face made Tav want to scream.

The glimmer of fondness disappeared from his face, now, as he continued.

“After… Cazador caught me……..the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own, for an entire… year…”

A horrified gasp escaped from Tav’s mouth before she could stop it.

“…….A year of silence,” he emphasized, eyes smoldering with fury. “Months of scratching my hands raw,” his voice broke once more, tears welling in his eyes as though they would fall at any moment.

“…trying to carve my way out – MORE months of not moving at all….. Months wishing only for death.”

Hot, seething hatred filled Tav’s throat like bile. Hatred for the man that had done this to him. Worse, an all-encompassing sorrow for him. A helpless sorrow for what time could never take back.

“So don’t you EVER……. judge me…” Astarion said finally, his voice stern. “For doing what Cazador ordered.”

Tav gave a slow nod, her own tears streaming freely down her face. “I have no words. I’m so sorry.”

Astarion lowered his voice to a whisper to stave off the cold panic in his chest - certain that if he spoke at full volume he would begin sobbing, screaming, clawing, just like in that gods-damned tomb…

“NOTHING… can make up for that—” he forced himself to leave it there as his treacherous voice broke once again. He swallowed, forcing the words through clenched teeth. “Not even Cazador’s death.”

Tav ached to pull him into her arms, but fear kept her frozen in place. Fear that she would never recover, if he pushed her away now…

A gleeful, manic grin spread across his lips now, as he began to laugh. “But to steal his life’s work!” He squeezed his fists so tightly that his arms shook with the effort. “Ahaha! … That might be something.”

Tav forced a smile on her own face in solidarity. “We will do it. We’ll make him pay.”

“He will be FURIOUS!” Astarion’s voice was bolstered with genuine joy, now. “And he’ll be even more furious when I get to that crypt and stop him.”

Tav smiled and released a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding, relieved just to see him smile again.

“For what it’s worth, thank you,” Astarion spoke solemnly now, his shoulders relaxing as he regarded her once more. “No matter what happens down there, you helped me stand up against him.”

Finally, she couldn’t resist any longer – she pulled him in close to her, and let out a sigh of relief as he slowly brought his arms to rest around her as well.

A nice, friendly hug.

“Let’s get some rest,” she murmured quietly, and led him to the bedroll.

~~~

-Early Morning / Day 13 of Being Friends-

Astarion was swimming – drowning – in a sea of blackness.

“Trying to murder your own siblings, boy? How in-character of you to turn on your family.”

Cazador’s vicious voice echoed through his head. His entire body ached with exhaustion and hunger. His thirst was unbearable, as though he hadn’t fed for months – yet somehow, his bladder was painfully full.

Astarion’s head pounded with each beat of his wretched heart, but even still, he welcomed the brief moments of respite the throbbing sensation provided from Cazador’s fucking voice….

“I’ll be waiting for you with open arms, my pet. But be sure to bring that whorish bard of yours – I have special plans for her before she dies.”

Astarion’s stomach coiled with utter malice. Don’t you even fucking mention her…

Tav would never set foot anywhere near Cazador – he would make sure of it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to do it before the Rite of Ascension – wouldn’t want you to miss the show. But here’s a preview…”

In an instant, Astarion felt a cold, hard mass pressed against his back – and his surroundings became clear. It was a position he’d been in many times before.

He was bound and gagged in Cazador’s dungeon, his body held tightly against the wall in the shape of an X. He was completely naked, except for a leather belt wrapped tightly and painfully around his lower abdomen. One of Cazador’s favorite ways of humiliating him and causing him pain at the same time.

Suddenly, Tav was in front of him – on her knees, on the filthy ground below. And there was Cazador, coming up behind her like a cat to a mouse.

Both were naked.

Astarion screamed, his throat going raw as every shred of energy went to alerting Tav of the monster behind her.

Tav didn’t even move.  

Something was very wrong. His cries were muffled by his gag, but he could certainly still hear himself screaming.

Even so, Tav didn’t even glance at him, as though he hadn’t made a sound.

“Seems you haven’t been performing your duties as a man,” Cazador simpered, bringing his hand up to rub Tav’s ass.

He was touching her now…!

Astarion’s whole body writhed with rage as he strained against his bindings.

“You always were a pathetic little worm...”

Cazador ran a disgusting finger along Tav’s soft pink folds. Astarion had to hold his breath to keep from retching.

“Do you see how wet she is for me?” Cazador grinned, stroking her. “A pretty little bitch that my mutt couldn’t be bothered to fuck…”

Tav moaned and pushed herself towards Cazador’s fingers, keening beneath him like a lioness in heat…

She was making those little noises… for him…

No – fucking hells, no.

Without any further warning, Cazador thrust his cock hard into Tav, causing her to stumble forward a bit.

She let out a little whine of pain at the unexpected intrusion.

NO!

Astarion felt as though he were dying. His lungs began to fail him as he screamed, throat growing wet with blood and tears.

Tav moaned again, her gorgeous neck strained as Cazador yanked her hair back towards him. The bastard was holding her like livestock as he fucked her from behind.

He just had to rip out of these ropes, then he would tear him limb from limb… He would slice his leathery skin off layer by layer…

Cazador spun her around now, forcing her head onto his cock and pounding into her relentlessly, all while looking Astarion directly in the eye. Tav began to splutter and gag.

“Ahhh – I can’t imagine why you weren’t taking advantage of this when you had the chance… she’s got a very talented mouth.”

Astarion’s wrists and ankles were beginning to bleed, his skin tearing as Cazador spun her around once more and slid himself back inside her quim.

“Awww, look how badly she needed this…” Cazador simpered, his sickly-sweet voice adopting a sympathetic tone. He thrust his hips into her again and again.

“Yes!” Tav whimpered, her face twisting with pleasure, as though she were teetering on the very edge… “Ohhh, fuck, Caz, yes!”

Caz.

Astarion had never felt a greater pain than hearing his name on her lips – a little pet name, no less. A nickname given to a lover, spoken with fondness and ease…

Hot, searing tears streamed down his face as he watched her move against Cazador’s repulsive frame. He hoped, beyond hope, that she couldn’t see him crying – his humiliation was already too much to bear.

“At least this stupid bitch will have gotten well and truly fucked before she dies… maybe I’ll cut her pretty throat and keep her head to play with… at least until it starts to rot.”

Astarion’s exhausted body thrashed desperately against the wall, trying beyond all odds to bring himself forward just enough to reach Cazador’s neck…

“Mmmm… not yet, darling,” Cazador said to Tav. “There’s something we’ve forgotten…”

And suddenly, Cazador pulled himself out, Tav giving a little whine at the loss, and turned his body towards Astarion again.

“Go on, mutt – you need to piss, don’t you?”

Cazador grabbed Tav’s hair once more and pulled her viciously in front of him, holding her head directly underneath Astarion’s penis.

No – gods, no – just kill me instead…

“Piss on her like the two-bit whore she is,” Cazador sneered.

He took the belt around Astarion’s abdomen and tightened it, squeezing his bladder to its very limit.

He wriggled his hips in absolute agony, desperately trying to aim himself away from her, before—  

Hshhhhht--

A quick stream of piss shot out of Astarion’s prick and onto the top of Tav’s head.

She whimpered sadly. Astarion felt his heart shatter.

Astarion roared beneath his gag – in fury, in shame, in painful agony – but after a few moments, he was able to tamper off the flow, excruciating though it was. His entire body trembled with the effort, his white curls plastered to his forehead.

“Ohhh, you have much more in you than that, mutt,” Cazador crooned. “Show her what you think of her – what you think she’s worth.”

With that, Cazador yanked the belt once more – so hard Astarion heard some sort of bone break, forcing the piss out of him in full force as he lost all feeling in the lower half of his body.

Fresh tears streamed down Astarion’s face as Cazador pulled Tav’s hair from left to right, ensuring she was thoroughly covered in his stream. “Good, very good…”

I’m so sorry, Tav. I’m so fucking sorry. Gods, forgive me…

“What do you think, should we choke her to death on my cock?” Cazador grinned. “Or should we choke her to death on your filthy piss?”

Astarion’s entire body shook with rage. He could taste his own blood through his gag as he strained against it.

“Hmm… no answer for me?” Cazador sighed. “Have it your way, then.”

With that, Cazador manifested a filthy arcane dagger from thin air and slid it across Tav’s beautiful neck.

~~~

A furious roar ripped through Astarion’s throat, his hands clawing upwards into the air, fully prepared to rip out Cazador’s innards one by one.

“Astarion!” Tav cried out, trying to wrap her arms around his torso. “Astarion, wake up! Look at me!”

But he was still thrashing wildly, his body reacting before his mind was fully awake. Tav pulled herself on top of him so that she was straddling his wet pants.

Finally, his eyes opened.

He saw her.

He let out a shuddering sigh as he cradled her face in his hands, reassuring himself that she was truly there. She was alive. She was nowhere near Cazador...

Then he felt the wetness – the sodden layers of clothing that stuck to his thighs… and Tav’s.

No… gods, please no…

He clutched at his groin in horror – then his hand flew from it as though it had been burned.

Tav’s drenched nightgown was pressed against her naked legs, which were wrapped around his piss-soaked breeches.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Early Morning / Day 13 of Being Friends-

If there was one thing that Astarion feared – besides Cazador, of course – it would be the loss of his desirability.

It was no secret that he prided himself on being a heart throb – he wore his sex appeal as a badge of pride. He preened himself like a peacock, relishing the fact that he was exceptionally beautiful, even for a vampire.  

When they had first met, she had assumed that the boisterous lover-boy personality was largely an act. That he knew that he was very conventionally attractive, and used it to his advantage; but his self-worth surely wasn’t dependent on it.

It wasn’t until they had been traveling together for several weeks that she had begun to realize that may not be the case.

“Looking at something?” he had asked, his back towards her as he held up a mirror in front of him. The camp was silent, but for the crackling of the dying fire a few meters away.

“Just looking,” she replied, seeing only her own reflection in the glass. “What are you doing?”

“I’m looking too, but not seeing much,” he muttered, unimpressed. “Another quirk of my affliction.”

Tav felt a pang of sympathy for him, but tried to keep the mood as light as possible. “Vanity is a weakness,” she teased.

“It’s an indulgence, I’ll grant you, but a weakness?” He had lowered the mirror and turned toward her now. “A well-presented face can open a lot of doors.” His eyes drifted away from hers for a moment. “Not that I’ve seen this face. Not since it grew fangs and its eyes turned red.”

 “What color were they before?” Tav asked, captivated by their deep maroon.

“I… I don’t know…” His eyes widened as his memory failed him. “I can’t remember.” He snarled. “My face is just some dark shape in my past.”

He had thrown the mirror to the ground now, shattering it, and met her gaze – then looked away, as though ashamed at his loss of composure. “…Another thing I’ve lost.”

But Tav had said nothing – just leaned in a bit closer, studying every part of his face with undivided attention.

“…What?” he had asked, a little unnerved at the intensity of her stare.

 “I see you,” she had said simply.

“…And what do you see, exactly?” he had asked – and his voice was perhaps as… gentle as she’d ever heard it.

“A handsome face, ageing gracefully,” she answered.

His jaw had dropped. “Ageing? What do you mean, ‘ageing?’ I’m a vampire – forever young!”

She chuckled and quirked her head to the side, deciding to tease him a bit. “Sure, but was your mole always so… prominent?”

“My--- what!?!” And here, he had grasped at his face, searching every inch for the mystery blemish. Then, remembering himself, he cleared his throat and forced his hands to his sides. “Excuse me.”

Tav felt a twinge of guilt – she had of course meant it as a joke, but he seemed genuinely distressed.

“I’m kidding,” she had insisted, grabbing his arm to halt him before he could scurry away. “You look great.”

His brow had lifted with intrigue, the cocky lilt returning to his voice. “Really…”

He held out his hands and gave a slow twirl, letting her get a good look at him from all angles. “Anything in particular?”

There he is again, she had thought, smiling inwardly. The shameless flirt.

“Strong, piercing eyes,” she answered.

“Oh…” his voice sounded even sweeter now, encouraged by her praise. “Go on.”

“That dangerous smile…” she trailed off, allowing her own voice to adopt a sultry tone.

“Very good,” he purred. “Now just tell me I’m beautiful,” he turned his head dismissively and gestured towards himself, “and we can call it a day.”

She grinned. Don’t push it, mister…

“You’re pretty good. Not ‘Gale’ good, but pretty good.”

A flash of playful fire in his eyes, now. “How dare you!” he gasped, bringing his hand to clutch his chest in mock offense. “I thought we had something special. Still…” He looked her up and down appreciatively, “…You’re nice too.”'

She smiled, happy to have cheered him up.

“I better get some beauty sleep,” he said finally, raising an eyebrow. “It seems I need it if I’m to catch up with the competition.”

“Sweet dreams,” she had said, and felt his gaze following her as she made her way to her tent.
~~~

And since then, of course, she had learned the extent to which he had depended on his desirability – he had spent over two centuries using it as a way of survival. He had been turned into a vampire purely for the purpose of “seducing anything with a pulse,” as he’d once told her.

So it was imperative – absolutely imperative – that he knew that his worth – not just to her, but to himself and everyone – had nothing to do with how devastatingly attractive he was.

This was easier said than done, however.

Particularly when she knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him – at least, some part of him did.

When she spent every day hoping he would rip her clothes off and fuck her until she couldn’t move, filling her with his seed over and over again.

“Why, that almost sounds like a challenge…” he had said.

She’d had no idea how right he’d been.

~~~

Tav woke up once again to Astarion moaning in his sleep.

His face looked pained, the muscles in his face twitching. His fingers were flexing, reaching for something only he could see.

His hips were grinding against her – but not with the cadence or pressure typical of his arousal. His manhood was soft, not straining whatsoever against his thin breeches… Even so, he seemed to be pushing himself against her rather insistently.

Tav’s eyes widened as they focused on his abdomen.

Astarion’s normally flat stomach now had a small but prominent bulge, right in the middle of the apex of his thighs.

Shit… they hadn’t followed their typical nighttime routine…

They had gotten into the habit of going off to the field together before sleeping – no doubt their companions assumed they were off having lurid sex – and emptying their bladders together once they were totally alone.

Astarion had had a few awkward moments of being unable to get started, but eventually he would manage – usually with the help of Tav’s gentle coaxing; sometimes with her walking far enough away until she could hear his stream starting, then slowly approaching him again little by little.

Tav was immensely proud of him.

He was becoming more and more comfortable with telling her when he needed to stop during their time in town, as well. Sometimes it took him multiple tries – such as the other day in the armory, when he had “casually” sauntered past her four or five times, visibly antsy, before finally mustering up the courage to whisper “I need to stop to rest” into her ear as she finished up with the merchant.

But it hadn’t been a painless process.

A few days prior, during a trip through Wyrm’s Crossing, Tav had caught him at a particularly bad moment, and he had snapped at her.

“I’m not a bloody child!” he had hissed at her under his breath, after she’d quietly asked him if he needed to sneak away for a break.

Tav had been briefly hurt, but had simply bit back a clever response, nodded, and walked away – for his sake. And the matter had been left at that.

Even so, Astarion was making great progress, slowly but surely.

But tonight, they had fallen asleep by the campfire, after a few glasses of wine – and hours later, Tav had awoken to the sound of Astarion’s siblings sneaking into their camp. And immediately after the fight, she and Astarion had returned to his tent, and he had finally fallen asleep again in her arms.

In other words – they had most certainly not made their way to the field that evening…

Now, as Astarion lay against her - his brow furrowed deeply, his lips twitching – Tav was presented with a predicament.

Astarion had had nightmares before, and had usually woken himself up if they became too intense. And with sunrise only a few hours away, waking him up could potentially be more dangerous than allowing him to muscle through the apparent nightmare. With Cazador lurking around every corner, they couldn’t afford for him to not be well-rested…

And as far as his bladder was concerned – well, it was a particularly embarrassing topic for him. She didn’t want him to think that she thought of him as a child, needing to be reminded of basic needs.

She was watching his face, contemplating whether or not to wake him, when she heard a tiny hissing noise under the covers.

She blinked, her sleep-addled brain taking a moment to place the source of the sound.

Then, she felt a slow warmth spreading against her leg.

Her thigh twitched reflexively, jostling Astarion’s sleeping form beside her. Then, with a tiny groan at the back of his throat, the hissing sound grew louder, as a steady stream trickled onto Tav’s legs and the warmth spread further.

Tav’s breath caught in her throat. Astarion was wetting the bedroll. More specifically, he was wetting the two of them.

Astarion’s breath was shaky as his exhausted bladder relaxed.

“….Hnn-… Tav…”

Her body froze in place, her mind in a state of shock as she studied his face. He had said her name so clearly that she’d assumed he’d woken up, but his eyes remained closed, his expression adopting a look of deep sorrow.

She couldn’t bring herself to wake him, even as the wetness spread further, his urine soaking the two of them from where their hips lay side by side.

But something was still wrong – even as he pissed, his face looked tormented… His body still twitched and squirmed, as though he were witnessing a tragedy only he could see.

She had to wake him.

“Astarion… darling…” she whispered, pushing herself away just enough to untangle his legs with hers.

Suddenly, a furious roar ripped through Astarion’s throat, his hands clawing upwards into the air as though ripping the flesh off a fresh-killed quarry.

“Astarion!” Tav cried out, trying to wrap her arms around his torso. “Astarion, wake up! Look at me!”

But he was still thrashing wildly, his body reacting before his mind was fully awake. Tav pulled herself on top of him so that she was straddling his wet pants.

Finally, his eyes opened.

He saw her. Brought his hands up to her face, as though doubting she was really there.

Then, a brief pause, as his eyes drifted to where she straddled his hips. A look of horror as he grabbed his wet breeches, confirming his fear.

Then, a frenzied bolt of movement as he ripped himself away from her, hoisting her up and away from him as though even touching his skin would scald her.

~~~

Astarion was overcome with cold, black, smothering panic.

He had pissed on her… His revolting piss was on her skin…

All-consuming self-loathing washed over him. He wanted to set himself on fire.

His mouth gaped open stupidly like a fish, his voice escaping him.

“I… I’m sorry…” he croaked finally, the realization that he wasn’t still dreaming flooding over him.

“Tav… I’m so sorry… I… Gods dammit, I’m so fucking sorry!”

He felt as though his chest was going to collapse, as the horrific sounds CLANGED through his head—

…the smack, smack… SMACK… of Cazador’s whips as they got closer and closer…

….the horrible, scraping finality of the arcane-laden stone, sealing him away from the world….

…the cold, numb pain in his fingers as he lay exhausted, after trying yet again to claw his way out, until there was very little skin left on the bones.

The silence… the fucking silence…

…….rion!.....

He was going to miss Tav… the sun… hells, he would even miss Gale…

….starion…!

“Shhh, Astarion—” Tav tried to soothe him, sweeping the matted hair from his forehead. His chest was heaving as he tried desperately to get air into his lungs.

“I’ll clean it up!” Astarion’s voice was high-pitched, wavering… frantic. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

He lurched forward, his arm covering his head as though bracing for impact. “I’m so sorry!”

“Darling! Look at me!” Tav cried out, taking his face between her hands and anchoring him in front of her.

Astarion’s eyes were as wide as she’d ever seen them, pupils dashing around in a frenzy as though the walls were closing in on him.

“Astarion… You’re safe. I’m safe. We’re okay,” Tav shushed gently, rubbing his chest.

His gaze swept over her face once, twice, ten times, as though unable to recognize it as hers.

“Tav…” his lip quivered as he was finally able to focus on her.

“It’s alright,” she said, pressing his head against her chest and rocking him gently.

And with that, his body was wracked with sobs as she held him.

Deep, mournful sobs that shook him to his core. Sobs he hadn’t known he was capable of making.

He sobbed for his shame – for pissing himself like a child, for getting his filthy piss on her just like in his nightmare, for being so inherently fucking broken that he couldn’t give her what she needed as her lover…

He sobbed for his agonizing guilt at tainting her goodness with his vile, selfish nature… for ever bringing her to Cazador’s attention whatsoever…

He needed so badly, in that moment, to be useful to her. To be anything but this weak, repulsive disappointment.

He needed her to want him.

He had to give her something – whatever he had to give.

The only thing he’d ever been good at.

He would make her make those noises again…

~~~

Tav held Astarion’s trembling body as he sobbed, his agonized cries soaking into her chest as she stood steady as a stone, willing her absolute love and devotion to emanate from every fiber of her being.

She couldn’t say how long they stayed there, the trauma of who-knew-how-many years erupting from him in waves.

And she wouldn’t let go of him for a moment.

As his sobs quietened into soft, shuddering cries, she set to work cleaning up – never letting herself leave his line of sight.

“Lues Aqua.” She conjured a water spell into her washbasin, heating it so it was warm to the touch, and dipped a clean rag into it.

 Astarion stared into the distance as she did so, occasionally stealing a glance from the corner of his eye. But he remained silent.

She removed the piss-soaked nightgown and wiped herself down with the rag, goosebumps covering her pretty skin.

Astarion looked as though he might be sick.

Tav slipped a clean, short dressing gown over herself, then dipped the rag back into the washbasin and wrung it back out.

“I’m going to take these off, okay?” she asked, holding her hands up to his waist.

Still, he said nothing, but gave the slightest nod, refusing to meet her gaze.

She peeled the now cold, sopping breeches off of his skin, and dropped them into the laundry pile with her nightgown and the bedroll.

He was naked, now – but without the usual prideful stance and arrogant posture, he looked almost frail. …Well… almost. Comparatively.

She held the rag up to his skin, waiting once again for permission. “Is it alright if I…?”

His eyes finally met hers, and he stared at her, transfixed. He nodded again.

She wiped his legs slowly and gently with the warm rag, until every part of him had been rinsed with clean, fresh water. And then –-

He grabbed her frantically, causing her to let out a small yelp, the rag plodding onto the floor.

His lips crashed into hers, his teeth gnashing into hers clumsily, as he pressed her body tightly against him.

“Fucking hells, Tav…” he gasped, wrapping his arms around her to cup the soft curve of her ass, his cock growing hard against her torso.

“Astarion—” Tav’s breath caught in her throat as she fought to free her lips from his. “Stop…”

“Let me do this…” he insisted with a plea in his voice, his eyes almost manic. “Let me do this for you!”

“No, darling,” Tav pressed her hands against his chest and gave a little push, and wrenched her face away from him.

Not tonight, she thought. Not like this.

“You want me… I know you do!” Astarion’s voice was hysterical now.

No no no no no. She didn’t. He was failing. He was fucking it all up.

Suddenly, he felt overcome with exhaustion, and let his arms fall to his sides, as though the very life was sucked from his body.

“What am I supposed to do?” he cried, his eyes filling with tears of self-disgust once again. “If you don’t want me, what in the hells do I do?”

Tav grabbed his shoulders with such sudden strength, such conviction, that he was briefly snapped out of his spiral. “This isn’t about wanting you!” Tav insisted, her eyes imploring him to understand.

The look on Astarion’s face made her want to scream. He looked… absolutely destroyed.

“No! I mean --- do you really think that I don’t want you?”

She was becoming exasperated now.

She decided to switch tactics. Where words were failing her, she would show him what she meant.

Keeping one hand firmly on his shoulder, she closed the nearby crate and plopped him down on top of it.

“I’ll show you exactly how wrong you are,” she said, “But you have to promise to keep your hands at your sides. Promise?”

Astarion’s brow furrowed in confusion, but he nodded.

“Say you promise,” Tav insisted sternly.

“I promise,” he conceded.

Tav took a step backward, ensuring he had a good view of her, and gathered her nerves.

“It’s absurd how badly I want to fuck you,” Tav huffed matter-of-factly, lifting her dressing gown up just enough that he could see her quim.

Astarion’s eyes widened, his mind going blank as all rational thought failed him completely.

“Every time I look at you, I picture you pushing your cock inside me.”

The cock in mention was swelling rapidly, Astarion’s lips parting as he stared at her ravenously.

Tav brought her fingers to her center.

“I think about fucking you hard and fast, first,” she said, her breath hitching as her finger found her clit. “Get it out of the way. Because I know that neither of us are going to last long.”

He could feel his member throbbing as his erection intensified, and for a moment, he felt light-headed.

“Gods, you’re beautiful…” Astarion sighed. His hand naturally began to drift towards his groin to adjust himself, but he remembered his promise to Tav and forced his hands beneath his legs.

“I think about fucking you slowly, making sure I touch every part of you,” Tav continued, her fingers swirling around her womanhood in little circles. “I’ll feel you rushing to the very edge of control and then hold you back, over and over, until you finally spend yourself all over my body.”

Astarion’s mind went utterly blank as his cock reached its full length; Tav felt a burst of pride as she watched it darken several shades redder than the rest of his pale skin.

Her cunt was desperate for it. Her slickness was covering her entire hand now.

“You think I don’t notice the way you look at me?” Tav teased lightly, haughtily. “The way your eyes grow to the size of the moon when I stretch my muscles after a long battle?”

She felt a deep, wanting pressure at the very core of her, building…

“The way you have to turn away when I bend over to pick up ingredients?” she simpered, widening her hips to grant him a better view.

It seemed the visual broke Astarion’s wavering concentration, and his hand wrapped around his cock out of pure instinct.

“No, no,” she tutted, pulling her hands away just long enough to grab the bottom hem of her thin dressing gown. “Hands to your sides, or I’ll have to stop…”

Astarion growled – actually growled – in frustration, but did as he was told.

Satisfied, Tav pulled the dressing gown over her head, leaving her naked breasts on display. Then in one motion, she brought her hand back to her silky folds, the other wrapping around her breast and accentuating the nipple towards him.

“Fuck…” The word barely escaped his lips on a breath, as though he wasn’t aware of it at all.

“You think I don’t want you?” Tav continued, tapping her fingers on her folds rapidly, making audible little wet sounds. “Do you see how fucking wet I am? I’m so wet for you all the time.”

Astarion moaned, his eyes glazing over a bit as they bounced from her quim to her perky tits. He subconsciously began fanning his knees in and out, his fingers grasping at the back of his legs as he fought his natural urge to beat his cock mercilessly.

His hips began to thrust a bit. His body was desperate for friction…

“Thinking of you makes me come in seconds, Astarion,” Tav insisted, her eyes wincing as her touch-starved cunt throbbed beneath her fingers. Finally, she made a big show out of slipping one of her fingers in... then two…

Astarion let out a soft whine, clenching his eyes shut for just a moment before forcing them back open. “Tav, please, let me—”

“No. Don’t move.”

The rest of his request died in his throat, and he exhaled defeatedly.

He thrust his hips upward ever-so-slightly, now – rocking them back and forth at a steady, even pace…

Tav took a selfish moment to slide her fingers in and out, in and out. Her eyes fluttered to a close as she felt herself gaping, desperate for him.

“You think I mind having a little piss on me?” Tav moaned, her whole body flushing. “I like to watch you piss. I like to get a nice peek at your cock throughout the day…”

Tav bit her lip – she hadn’t intended to let that slip…

Astarion felt as though the ground had disappeared beneath him – as though his heart had stopped completely and the world stopped turning.

She… liked it?

“Whenever I’m alone in my tent – it’s because I’m doing this, imagining it’s you inside me…” Tav sighed, quickening her pace as she thrust into herself over and over.

His hands made their way to the top of his legs… not touching himself, but inching closer and closer…

“And I flick my tits just like this, but it’s nothing compared to the way you do it with your tongue…”

“Let me do that now…” Astarion begged, nails digging into his skin as he brought his hands between his thighs hoping desperately to accidentally bump into his hand with his cock. “Please, just let me do that…”

He barely recognized his own voice in his ears.

“You promised,” Tav stared at his wandering hands reproachfully, eyelids lowering as her climax neared.

“Unnghhhh” Astarion grunted in sheer frustration, but moved his hands back to his sides, not daring to look away for even a moment. His hips continued rutting into the air, searching desperately for the warmth of her womanhood.

“Someday, when the bastard is dead,” Tav huffed, “and your body is completely yours once more… No matter how long it takes for you to be ready…”

She leaned in even closer to him now, her hot breath on his face as he dangled on every word.

“I will fuck you until neither of us can see straight, do you understand me?” Her voice was no longer sultry or flirtatious – it was solemn and insistent, as though making a lifelong pact written in blood. “I will ride your cock until there isn’t a drop of your seed left in you.”

Astarion’s eyes were wide, pupils enormous, as his breathing became erratic and raspy. He humped upwards wildly into the air now, his cock bobbing up and down madly as it dripped with silky precum. “Tav…”

She could see his bullocks physically twitching, tightening, as his body prepared itself for release.

He couldn’t believe she was about to make him come without even touching him. That had never happened, in almost 300 years…

At the sound of her name on his lips, Tav felt herself reaching the peak. “I’m gonna come--!” she whined, eyebrows pinching together as her mouth opened wider…

“Assssttar---Annnhh!” his name melted into a high-pitched wail, her legs quivering as her orgasm washed over her.

Astarion’s eyes rolled to the top of his skull as he reached his own climax, his hot, white seed beginning to shoot from his twitching, pulsing, straining member.

He let out a guttural groan, which brought Tav to the very crux of her orgasm – she loved the fucking noises he made…

Her trembling legs finally failed her, and she stumbled forward. The hand she didn’t have buried in her folds desperately grasped in front of her, scrambling for purchase.

In the midst of his pleasure, Astarion’s arms reached for her automatically, bracing her to fall safely onto his knee.

Oh, gods…!

He felt her dripping cunt settle against the skin of his thighs as her climax pulsed through her, his cum spurting all over her belly and hips.

Their eyes locked as they rode their release together, both of them panting and shaking. Tav’s fingers slipped out of her and gripped his inner thigh, holding her slickness to his skin. He brought his leg up to meet her, rocking her up and down in time to the clenching of her center.

“Fffffffuck!” Tav keened, her arms finally giving out as well; she collapsed on top of him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as his spend dripped between them.

They stayed like that, gasping for air and waiting for the world to stop spinning, for what could have been a lifetime.

Their bodies, sticky with sweat, finally began to cool as their breathing slowed, and Tav finally pushed herself off him just enough to meet his gaze. He kept his hands on her shoulders, holding her wobbly frame safely in place.

Astarion could say nothing… he had no words.

They looked at each other for a breath… two… three…

“…As I was saying,” Tav said finally, keeping her eyes locked on his, “don’t ever think, even for a second, that I don’t want you.”

She pressed a quick kiss to his awestruck lips.

“I just want you the right way. And I’m in no rush.”

Tears filled his eyes once more – but this time, his eyes shone as he gazed up at her, his mouth curling into a beaming, almost boyish smile.

She stood, now, and gathered a few clean linens and a bar of soap from a bucket near the entrance to the tent. “Let’s go take a dip in the river. I feel a bit grimy.”

Astarion laughed, his mind still reeling.

She took his hand and led him the short distance from camp to the riverbed, where she got in up to her ankles, then turned to wait for him to join her.

“What’s wrong, dear?” she asked.

“Nothing, it’s just…”

His cheeks flushed a beautiful shade of pink that reached the pointy tip of his ears.

“…I… still have to go,” he admitted shyly.

“What?” Tav blinked.

“In bed, I didn’t….” he brought his hand up to scratch the back of his head nervously, “finish…all the way…”

“Ohhhh,” she nodded as his meaning sunk in. “Oh, okay. Well, go ahead,” she said, “I’ll look away.”

His eyes drifted to some very interesting point in the dirt in front of him. Don’t be a coward… just say it…

“Well, I mean…” Astarion’s face remained flushed, but his lips widened into a cocky smile. “You don’t… have to…”

He met her gaze now, trying to muster up the courage to say—

“…Now that I know you like to watch, and all.”

It was Tav’s turn to blush, now, as she covered her face with her hands – ugh, adorable – and kicked a little splash of water at him.

“Oh, hush up, you!” she giggled, peeking out through her fingers. “I got caught up in the moment!”

His smile faded just a bit in confusion. “So… you don’t like... to--… when I...?”

Tav looked at him directly now, his favorite dimpled half-smile on her face. “Well, I mean… I never said that, either...” The smile spread from her face onto his.

Astarion closed his eyes, and tried to conjure Tav’s words to Gale the other day – when they were walking back to camp, and he was certain he would explode…

He forced himself to block out everything else surrounding him, every other thought, every other sound and sensation – or he would lose his nerve.

“Just close your eyes, and imagine a stream, rushing over the craggy earth below…” Tav’s voice hummed in his memory. “Feel the flow of the trickling water as it washes over the stones…”

He felt a tiny trickle spray from him, before his muscles reflexively cut off the flow.

“Now move your hips gently back and forth, like the ebb and flow of the ocean, as the water overtakes you…”

He let out a shuddering breath as his bladder finally relaxed completely, his arms resting at his sides as his prick released a stream of piss between his legs.

Tav’s breath caught in her throat.  

He opened his eyes just enough see her at the very edge of his vision, unable to meet her gaze head-on. She was watching him with rapt attention. And still, he continued to piss…

Somehow, he continued…

“You are so strong… and so brave… and so sweet…” Tav said, her voice wet with tears.

Astarion had to bite his own lip to stop it quivering.

“I am!” He agreed, wiping his eyes. “And beautiful! …Not enough people mention that.”

And at that, Tav laughed.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-The Next Afternoon / Day 13 of Being Friends-

When Astarion woke up, he noticed two things immediately:

First: He had slept half the day away. The sun was already lowering from its highest point in the sky.

Second: Tav was gone.

And in an instant, he was on his feet, in sheer, absolute, full-body panic.

He had her. The bastard Cazador had her tied up somewhere.

Visions of his nightmare flashed in front of his eyes – Tav being violated by the demented vampire lord. Naked, helpless, wrangled by her hair. His filthy knife slicing into her soft, beautiful neck. Her blood spilling over his favorite patch of freckles on her chest as she gasped for air…

“Be sure to bring that whorish bard of yours – I have special plans for her before she dies.”

He felt as though he were going to be violently ill.

“Tav?!” He called out in a shaky voice as soon as he was out of the tent.

She was nowhere to be seen, but camp life continued as normal. There was Withers, and Scratch… there was Jaheira weaving a basket outside of her tent, and Halsin chopping firewood--

“TAV!” Astarion screamed, his voice becoming more and more frantic with each moment. “TAV!!!”

 “She went to Carm’s Garm with Shadowheart, Lae’zel and Karlach,” Gale explained from somewhere behind him, his voice filled with concern.

“Take me to her! Now!” Astarion demanded, grasping onto Gale’s robes. “Transport us!”

“P-Portare!” Gale cast the spell immediately, his eyes reflecting the terror in Astarion’s.

~~~

In a flash of dust, splintering wood, and chaos, Gale and Astarion crashed into the merchant’s shop with such force that they both skidded onto the tile floor in opposite directions.

Then, a series of voices all at the same time:

“Kai’ncha!” Lae’zel cursed.

“What in the hells!” cried Carmen Pennygood, the merchant, from within the giant cloud of debris that was her store.

“Oh my gods! Karlach?!” Tav’s sweet voice called from somewhere else.

“I’m good! Didn’t blow up yet!” from Karlach.

“Well, something did!” Shadowheart shot back.

“Mystra’s mercy, that hurt!” Gale brought his hand to his head and winced in pain. “So terribly sorry about the damages, I assure you I will pay you back as soon as I reach my tower in Waterdeep!”

“Tav!?” Astarion cried out, eyes watering as he strained to see through the settling rubble.

“Astarion?” Tav sounded understandably shocked to hear his voice.

“Where are you?!” he cried out, arms flailing wildly in front of him as he followed her voice.

“H-Here!”

As the dust settled, the scene before them became clear.

Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Tav were sitting on a couch, facing what used to be a dressing room – but was now a mostly disintegrated outer wall of a wooden stall. Inside the stall was Karlach, her flaming skin gleaming beneath the thin coat of dust covering everything, dressed in a lovely little lacey, frilly thing—

Gale averted his eyes, thankful for the dust – he was certain his skin was as red as a turnip. And the breeches beneath his robes felt unusually tight…

But Astarion noticed none of this.

“Take us back to camp, hurry!” the vampire’s voice cried out, further away than he had been a moment ago.

“Portare!” Tav cast the spell, her voice full of confusion.

And the two of them were gone, leaving Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Gale gathered stupidly around a particularly voluptuous-looking Karlach, who was wheezing from the dust. And an exceptionally angry shopkeeper.

“…So!” Gale broke the silence with a nervous cough. “You ladies enjoying your shopping day?”

~~~

Tav felt Astarion before she saw him. His body crashed into hers with such force that the breath was knocked out of her.

“Take us back to camp!” Astarion begged, shielding her with his body as though expecting an aerial attack. “Hurry!”

Her mind was reeling, but the tone of her lover’s voice sounded panicked enough that she cast the spell without a second thought. “Portare!”

And now, the two of them rolled painfully into the soil of the campground, their bodies still covered in dust from the shop. They landed with Astarion hovering over her, their chests heaving with exertion.

“What in the hells? Are you alright?” Halsin’s concerned voice was calling to them from somewhere behind them.

But Astarion didn’t even hear him – he was too busy trying to calm his frantic heart, to force the air into his seizing lungs.

“Gods dammit, Tav!” Astarion’s voice wavered, his eyes wide and frantic. “Do you have any idea… Gods… I thought he had--!”

“What is going on?” Tav demanded, head whirling around in a frenzy. Nothing appeared to be on fire, nor did there appear to be any sort of invasion or life-threatening emergency going on. Everything just looked… normal.

“What were you thinking!?” Astarion demanded. Now that they were safely at camp, his fear was finally fading – making room for anger in its place. “You just walked off without even telling me!?”

Tav blinked, irked at his choice of words. “I don’t need your permission to leave camp, Astarion.”

“I thought you were fucking dead, Tav!” His voice broke on her name.

To his horror, his eyes were filling with tears now – in front of their other companions, who were watching in aghast silence.

“Maybe I’ll cut her pretty throat and keep her head to play with… at least until it starts to rot.”

Cazador’s voice echoed in his head, the image of Tav’s throat being sliced flashing over and over...

 “Just because your siblings showed up?” Tav asked, her face flushing as she realized all eyes were on them. “Darling, we were in a public place in the middle of the day, with a full arsenal of weapons and spells if we needed them. Even if those spawns did show up-”

“It’s not them!” Astarion insisted, wiping his eyes furiously. “They are nothing! It’s him!”

Tav’s brow furrowed with concern, waiting for him to continue.

Astarion felt as though he couldn’t get enough air. He worried he might black out, his vision going woozy. “Please… the tent…”

Tav put her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Okay, okay… let’s go…”

Once they were seated safely in Tav’s tent, Astarion grabbed Tav’s face and kissed her passionately. Her lips against his had an incredible calming effect, and the overwhelming tension finally began to melt from him…

She’s here… She’s safe…

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, pulling away from her lips just enough to speak and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Truly sorry for how I acted, Tav. Last night, I had a nightmare… I think Cazador put it in my head. And then I woke up and you weren’t here, and I thought—”

The words caught in his throat, and he just shook his head lamely, unable to continue.

“…What was the nightmare about?” Tav asked gently, her hand coming up to brush the hair from his eyes.

Astarion felt his chest clench. “I was… tied up in his dungeon, against the wall. And you were there, in front of me, naked…” His eyes were haunted as the dream played in his mind. “And he was… touching you…”

He grimaced, as though the words themselves were rancid in his mouth. “He was… inside you, Tav.” His useless eyes filled to the brim with tears.

“He was inside your…” He gestured toward her groin, unable to finish the thought. “…Then he yanked you by your hair and…” He cleared his throat, trying to prevent more tears. “…put his filthy prick in your mouth…”

And you were loving it, Astarion thought, unable to bring himself to speak the words. And you called him “Caz.” And you looked at him like he was your favorite person in the world…

The tears were streaming down his face now. Tav wiped them away tenderly.

“And I was screaming for you, but you couldn’t hear me...” he muttered, barely more than a whisper.

Tav’s eyes watered as well, her gaze never wavering for a second as she squeezed his hand supportively. “I’m so sorry, my love…”

“It gets worse,” Astarion sniffed, lip quivering. “I… I had to piss, and—”

“In the dream?” Tav asked, “Or in real life?”

“Both,” he admitted miserably, his entire face growing hot with shame. “I had to go so bad, and… he had a belt around my waist…”

His chest began seizing up again, and for a moment he was certain he wasn’t going to be able to finish the thought.

“Go on, it’s alright… it was just a nightmare, it wasn’t real,” Tav encouraged. “What happened?”

“He forced you underneath me… so you were beneath my…” His eyes lowered to the ground. “And he tightened the belt, so that I…”

He closed his eyes, and took a long pause, steeling himself. “….I pissed on you.” His voice was filled with pain. “I tried so hard to stop it, I tried to aim away, but it just came out…”

He let out a shaky exhale, then continued. “I managed to halt it for a moment, but then he pulled the belt so hard that I couldn’t feel my legs anymore…”

Tav swiped her thumb across his face gently, wiping the fresh tears from his cheeks.

“And as he was making me piss on you, he took out a dagger, and…”

He made a slicing motion across his own neck and choked back a sob.

“…And that’s when I woke up.”

Woke up only to find that I had pissed on you anyway…

Tav pulled him into a hug, rubbing his back soothingly. “It was a horrible dream, my love, but it was only a dream. It’s over now.”

“But it’s not,” Astarion insisted. “He’s been watching me, Tav. He mentioned that he had plans for you, when he found you. He will use you to hurt me however he can.”

Tav’s eyes widened as the severity of his words sunk in.

“He has eyes everywhere. He could know exactly where you are in the city, at any given time, and I’d have no way of knowing until it was too late, Tav!”

His voice broke once again.

“And then I woke up this morning, alone, and I thought…”

Tav nodded, all the pieces falling into place, and rocked him gently back and forth. “Shhh, it’s alright…”

“Please, darling. I would never want to take away your autonomy. I would never forcefully assert my will over yours.” His eyes met hers now, his gaze pleading. “But please, at least until I’ve murdered that fucking bastard, don’t leave without telling me. Especially not so close to Baldur’s Gate… I can’t take it.”

Tav brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his fingers sweetly. “I won’t. I promise.”

Astarion felt as though the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders. He held his hand up to caress her cheek. “Thank you, my sweet. I really am sorry about interrupting your girls’ day…”

“Don’t be,” Tav said, “we’ll have plenty of time to make up for it. You’ll be happy to hear that the five of us are heading back to the east, to search the Blighted Village.”

Astarion lifted an eyebrow. “Why on earth would you need to go all the way back there?”

“There’s a little girl, Vanra, that’s gone missing. Mayrina, the girl who was trapped by the hag before? She thinks it’s due to the hag’s witchcraft. We have reason to think that she absorbed the child to create a bizarre arcane voodoo pregnancy, and we think she’ll likely begin a nesting ritual back at her home base.”

“I see… and why just the women?” Astarion asked.

“The hag’s crazy witchcraft cult despises men, remember?” Tav gave him a little smirk, his favorite dimple appearing on her cheek. “If we want to infiltrate her lair again, no boys allowed.”

Astarion chuckled. “As long as you’ll be far, far away from the city… Cazador’s not foolish enough to chase you all the way into another region where he has no political control, especially when he knows I’ll be coming directly to him…”

“There, then,” Tav smiled, placing a sweet little kiss on his forehead. “No reason to worry.”

Astarion wrapped his arms around her and buried his face against the nape of her neck, slowly inhaling her scent. “By the hells, I was so scared, Tav…” He sounded absolutely exhausted.

“Not nearly as scared as Karlach was when the two of you came crashing through her dressing room!” Tav laughed, the sound as sweet as a bell.

“Gods… what was it you all were shopping for, anyway?” He had been so frantic to find her at the time that he hadn’t even noticed the others.

“Oh, you know,” Tav smiled a little too innocently. “We figured now that Karlach’s cooled down enough to be touched, it might be a good time to find her something more comfortable to wear in the evenings…”

 Astarion’s voice adopted its usual sultry tone. “Mmm, sounds like an intriguing shop. Such a pity I had to crash into it.”

“Not to worry,” Tav said, glancing away coyly and refusing to meet his gaze. “I’d already had my turn in the dressing room, and made my own purchase.”

Astarion felt his throat go dry. “Really… and what sort of, erm, purchase was that?”

“Oh, I don’t think that’s the sort of thing one discusses in a friendly conversation,” Tav teased.

Astarion let out a delighted laugh, and gave her a single, playful smack on the bum. “Cheeky little pup, aren’t you…”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Day 16 of Being Friends / Day 1 Without Tav-

Gods, camp really was boring without Tav and the girls…

Sure, he could wander through the streets of the city he knew like the back of his hand – and had, for over 200 years – in order to gather possible intel on Cazador, but it would be a pointless effort. He needed his companions with him, with all their capabilities working together, if he had a chance of defeating him.

Astarion was thinking of Tav – and wondering exactly how long it would take her to get back – as he wandered lazily through the woods surrounding their camp, looking for small animals to feed on.

He had just begun relieving himself against a tree, letting out a little sigh as he went, when he heard the sudden clap of a teleportation spell somewhere behind him. His entire body froze in place – and his cock clamped shut mid-stream.

“Aaassstaaaarion?” Gale’s searching voice intruded on the sounds of nature, but he sounded to be at least a few meters away.

Astarion hurriedly shoved his cock back into his pants, whirling around just a little too quickly to look casual.

Gods, nothing worse than stopping half-way… It always made the need so much worse.

“Ah, there you are, Astarion!” Gale’s voice was much clearer, closer now, his footfalls noisily signaling his approach. “I was looking for you all over camp.”

“How fortuitous that you found me!” Astarion crooned, a far-too-friendly grin spreading across his face. “What was it that was so urgent that you felt the need to hunt me down?”

Gale put his hands on his hips. “Firstly, to tell you that you’re not sticking me with the dishes again,” he admonished, although his tone was light.

Astarion sighed and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “You do realize I never actually use the dishes, don’t you, wizard?”

“Well, I don’t use a battle axe, but that doesn’t mean I don’t pitch in when it’s my turn to polish the weapons,” Gale reasoned.

Charming though this chat was, Astarion’s bladder was insisting that he finish what he started – and sooner, rather than later.

“Yes, alright,” Astarion conceded, quirking his hips to the side just a bit in what he hoped was a casual-looking show of annoyance. “What else?”

“Cleanliness is next to godliness, after all,” Gale continued as though he hadn’t spoken. “At my tower in Waterdeep, Mystra had a reserve of manna that powered a mechanism that actually washed dishes for you, if you can believe it–”

“Was there something ELSE you wanted, Gale?” Astarion interrupted, his voice now a bit strained, forceful. The tip of his cock was tingling with increasing pressure as his body fought against the disrupted relief.

The wizard, ever perceptive at the absolute worst of times, glanced down at the trunk of the tree behind him – where Astarion’s piss was soaking into the bark.

“Ah – apologies,” Gale blushed, realizing Astarion must have been urinating on the tree before he arrived. “I didn’t mean to interrupt…?”

“Not interrupting anything!” Astarion insisted, a little too quickly. “I was just out here to find some poor defenseless creature to curb my hunger – and I’ll remind you that a wizard does fit under that category.”

Gale raised an eyebrow at the vampire’s antsy demeanor. He had seen Astarion acting this way once before – when they had been walking back to camp from the wine festival with Tav, and Gale’s own bladder was in rather dire straits. Astarion had admitted at the time, in a moment of anger, that vampires did indeed experience this particular need. And it wasn’t as if they were currently in a large group of polite company – it was only the two of them, after all.

So why was the vampire so evasive about his obvious need, when he had been caught red-handed (or, more succinctly, wet-treed)?

 “…Right,” Gale responded. “Well! I think I may have discovered something to do with that Necromancy book!”

Astarion’s eyes widened in intrigue. “Really? What?”

In order to unlock the book's full potential, it appears we'll need to obtain a book called The Tharchiate Codex.” Gale’s voice was filled with enthusiasm. “This text will allow us to decipher the runes. We just have to find the old tome inside the vault of Sorcerous Sundries!”

“Yes! Excellent!” Astarion grinned, even as his foot began to tap impatiently. “Um, can we perhaps discuss it later tonight, when I return to camp?”

Gale couldn’t help but be curious as to why this was such a big issue for the rogue. Astarion was hardly the perfect gentleman, concerned with propriety – quite the opposite, actually. He seemed to take pride in his debauched and irreverent lifestyle. So why was he so shy in this regard?

“You know,” Gale said, “it’s just us men out here. If you need to finish peeing—”

Astarion looked absolutely scandalized at his words, eyes smoldering. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he insisted, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Gale was beginning to feel a bit offended – did Astarion truly think so little of his intelligence?

“Come now – I may not be 300 years old, but I know what it means when I walk up behind another man standing against a tree. Particularly when that tree is actively covered in urine and the man in question is having trouble standing still.”

Astarion’s gaze darted from the tree, to Gale, to his own shuffling legs, and back to Gale. He appeared to be fuming, but, when confronted with such overwhelming evidence, couldn’t think of a plausible denial.

“So, if you need to finish up what I obviously interrupted you doing, I’m simply saying you don’t need to hold yourself back on my account,” Gale said simply, quietly beaming in his small victory.

Astarion stared at his feet, his face pinched into a conflicted glower.

Gale was so at a loss at seeing the vampire without a witty comeback that he said nothing. They just waited there, in terse silence, as Astarion seemed to battle with himself internally.

Finally, Gale had to break the tension. “Astarion?”

“…I can’t,” he muttered, so quietly Gale wasn’t entirely sure he’d spoken at all.

“What?” Gale prodded gently.

“I can’t, alright?!” Astarion finally met Gale’s gaze now, brows furrowed in anger, as his thighs squeezed together.

Truthfully, Astarion could scarcely believe he was admitting it at all – even a month ago, the words physically wouldn’t have been able to leave his lips. He wasn’t sure if it was because of his progress with Tav, or because Gale was so obnoxious that his mind had no time to feel ashamed about it. Either way, the wizard had figured it out – and in light of the evidence, it would be useless to deny it further.

“Ah, stage fright?” Gale nodded sympathetically. “I can relate. As a wizard stuck in his tower with his books, most of my needs were carried out in total solitude. Travelling with companions has proven to be difficult in this regard… sometimes still is, in fact.”

Astarion was becoming increasingly annoyed – particularly because he knew that he couldn’t really be angry with Gale. As much as Astarion might enjoy insulting the obtuse wizard at this moment, the man truly was being supportive. Annoying, disruptive, and exhausting, yes, but supportive all the same.

“Yes, well…” Astarion cleared his throat. “If you’d be so kind as to…”

“Ah, say no more!” Gale held up a hand and smiled. “I’ll just pop over to the edge of the field for a bit, and you give a holler when you’re finished, eh?”

No! Leave, you bastard! For gods’ sakes just give me some privacy!

Astarion clenched his teeth, forcing himself to remain cordial despite his increasingly pressing need. “That won’t work, I’m afraid. I need to be completely alone.”

Gale appeared to be about to say something else, but Astarion cut him off with a particularly non-Astarion-ish look. “Gale. If you understand what it’s like to have this… affliction, then you know how uncomfortable it is.”

Gale’s face softened.

“So, if you could just… give me some space? Alone?” Astarion’s voice was so earnest that it sounded foreign even to his own ear. “And we can discuss your findings later?”

Oh sweet hells for fuck’s sake wizard please just leave already I’m about to—

“Please,” he entreated finally, eyes winced in discomfort.

Gale gave him a kind smile and nodded. “Of course. Later, then.”

And with that, the wizard was gone once more, leaving a rather overwhelmed Astarion to whip out his prick and release the remainder of his stream right where he stood, an obscene moan escaping his lips.

That had been… remarkably easy, all things considered. He had told Gale what he needed, and the wizard had listened.

It was… a novel concept.

~~~

-Day 17 of Being Friends / Day 2 Without Tav-

Astarion wasn’t prone to startling easily, but Gale’s damned Mirror Image – exactly like Gale, but brimming with light and slightly transparent, had a tendency to pop up wherever and whenever he was least expected. In this particular case, it was inside of Astarion’s tent.

“Good evening!” the warbly, ethereal pseudo-wizard greeted. “I'm here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep. He wishes to extend to you a most beneficial offer for the betterment of your day-to-day health!”

“Charming sales pitch,” Astarion huffed dismissively, turning back to his book. “I don’t think I’m interested.”

“Gale had a feeling you might say that, which is why he sent me to explain the details of this offer,” Mirror-Gale explained. “It has to do with your urinary issue!”

Astarion’s eyes widened, and he was on his feet in an instant. “Shhhh!” he shushed furiously, turning his head rapidly to ascertain if anyone else had overheard. “What in the hells are you talking about?”

“Gale has taken the liberty of explaining your situation to someone who has the capacity to help!”

Astarion’s stomach roiled with anger. “What?!”

“Gale has recruited the help of Halsin, who has agreed to counsel you! With regard to you being unable to urinate in the vicinity of others, I mean,” Mirror-Gale provided helpfully.

“STOP SAYING THAT!” Astarion insisted, lunging at the wizard in fury only to stumble as he went straight through his incorporeal form.

“Ah, indeed, that is exactly why Gale thought to send me in his stead!” Mirror-Gale held his hand out to Astarion demonstratively.

“You had no right to share that information, wizard!” Astarion shouted, sharing none of the illusion’s good humor.

“It’s hardly a well-kept ancient secret that humanoids have to empty their bladders, good sir,” Mirror-Gale argued.

“I’ll kill you when I find you, Gale!” Astarion growled.

“Gale of Waterdeep would like to formally decline that suggestion.” Mirror-Gale stated matter-of-factly.

Astarion wrung his hands, imagining the wizard’s neck. “Tell Gale of Waterdeep that I said absolutely not!”

“Gale would like to suggest you reconsider, as it may be most conducive to your healing to have some input from your fellow men!”

Astarion let out a weary sigh – anger was clearly going to get him nowhere here. “Fuck off,” he said with sickening sweetness, and picked up the discarded book he’d been reading.

“Well, go about your day as usual then!” Mirror-Gale was undeterred, his voice as unflappable as always. “You’ll have to go sometime.”

Astarion just ignored his menacing words, fuming at the book he was too furious to read.

After staring at the same page for longer than he cared to admit – long enough that he noticed the shadows outside his tent growing a bit longer – Astarion finally got up and took to tidying up around camp, dreadfully bored and anxious to do something besides sit and wait…

…for them to get back, he refused to finish his thought. The camp was a wreck anyway.

Mirror-Gale gave him a friendly little wave from where he stood directly outside of Astarion’s tent.

~~~

Astarion had had nothing against Halsin, at first. For one thing, it was exceedingly rare for Astarion to meet someone older than himself, and Halsin had at least a century on him.

And the gargantuan elf druid was very helpful to their camp – not just as a shield in battle, but with his knowledge of nature, alchemy, and animals.

Overall, he had found Halsin to be perfectly inoffensive – until only a few months ago, when Astarion and Tav had stopped keeping their sexual encounters a secret.

He had been soaking up the morning sun, prideful as a peacock, as he sauntered out of Tav’s tent.

Tav had woken with the first note of birdsong, and had woken him up with the most delightful little nibbles to his neck…

And even now, as he sat in his tent, hiding from Gale’s Mirror Image and reminiscing, his cock stiffened at the memory of her teeth on his skin. He felt a pang of disappointment that he would be sleeping by himself tonight…

The tips of an elf’s ears were particularly sensitive. Tav had used this to her advantage, kissing her way all the way up from his neck as he feigned sleep, trying desperately not to let a grin break out across his face…

Then she’d slid her mischievous little hand beneath his breeches, and his gasp had given him away…

Of course, this was before their damned “friends” agreement, when they’d been partaking in each other’s bodies increasingly frequently… Once or twice a week had become every night…

He’d had sex hundreds of thousands of times – most of them didn’t even grant him temporary bliss. But it had felt… different, somehow, with her from the very first time. Then, when she learned of his vampirism, and had allowed him to feed from her… sex had become something else entirely.

It was like he was a hormonal youth – a feeling nearly lost to time to completely. A long lost memory (or perhaps it was a false memory, imposed upon his mind after centuries of seeing young lovers) from a time before his death, before he ever even became a magistrate. Two or three years as a young lad, here and gone in the blink of an eye. Years filled with wonder and sensation and feeling…

It had been that way, once he’d fed from Tav. Suddenly sex had feeling. There was a point. The joy of chasing one another’s pleasure… not out of obligation, or as a means to an end, but because it was her…

And of course, then he’d told himself that it was all because of the blood. She was a kind girl, sure, and beautiful, but his dependence on her was purely sanguine. It had given him a new… pep in his step, so to speak.

He just wasn’t used to this particular type of connection, so naturally he was ill-equipped for any complicated emotions.

Until the drow… when Tav turned down an astronomically powerful potion, because he didn’t want to bite the drow, to taste her rotten blood…

“He said no,” she’d said. “There’s nothing more to discuss.”

That’s when he knew he couldn’t keep sleeping with her… because whatever this was, it was more than lust. And incredible though it was, physically, it was a song-and-dance he had done for centuries. For Cazador.

And it didn’t feel right to keep doing that with her… she was… more than that…

…And truthfully, he didn’t deserve it.

He was crying, now – he only realized once the tears broke through and streamed down his face. He wiped his eyes and grimaced. Ridiculous, to cry when there was no imminent threat.

It didn’t matter, because they were friends now.

His mind was wandering… hadn’t he been upset about something a moment ago?

… Oh, Halsin. Right.

He had just finished bouncing Tav on his cock, coaxing those incredible little noises out of her until they had shuddered against each other.

He was proudly strutting out of her tent, on his way to have a piss and wash off, when he noticed the towering druid looking over at him wearily.

But not just weary – Astarion was more than used to creatures of all sorts being wary around vampires. The man looked… worried. Almost sorrowful.

“Morning,” Astarion greeted cautiously.

“Oak Father preserve you,” Halsin responded. “It sounds as though you’ve had, ah, an eventful morning.”

Astarion grinned cheekily. “My favorite part of a morning routine.”

“I’m curious,” Halsin began, “do you plan on turning our friend into an immortal being as well? Is that a condition of her aiding you with this ‘ritual’ of yours?”

Astarion was affronted at such a personal question – he’d never even considered turning Tav, if such a thing were even possible.

He played it off well enough: “Ahaha! I’ve had an endless parade of lovers, do you really think I’d go turning each of them into eternal hangers-on? I’d be unable to go anywhere without an entourage!”

Halsin’s expression didn’t change, in spite of Astarion’s attempt to lighten the mood. The man simply looked at him knowingly, somberly.

“To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall,” Halsin spoke with the quiet, assured authority of one who had lived multiple lifetimes – even more than Astarion himself. “A harmless game… until it becomes real.” His gaze drifted to Tav’s tent, then back to him. “I worry for the two of you, Astarion.”

Astarion gave him a long-suffering groan, rolling his eyes. “Ugh, must you take everything so seriously?” He raised his arm and gestured towards Tav’s tent. “We're both happy with our arrangement - and that's all that matters.”

Just what he needed – a be-muscled lovesick fool falling in love with Tav and taking it upon himself to “save her” from the evil vampire set to consume her… how cliché.

“For your sake,” Halsin’s voice wasn’t judgmental, nor hostile. Just – congenial. Almost eerie in its removed benevolence. “I hope some of it is just a fantasy. Deep in your heart.”

Astarion, in a rare moment of speechlessness, had just raised a haughty eyebrow and walked away.

He’d been a little bit weary of Halsin ever since.

As the sun made its way across the sky, Astarion was finding fewer and fewer ways to distract himself. After tidying the camp itself, he’d gone to ask Wyll if he’d needed any help with his gardening, but Wyll seemed to be as bored as he was.

He even found himself double-checking areas he’d already cleaned, Mirror-Gale following behind him loyally all the while.

Gods-damn wizard… Astarion thought, trying his best to ignore the natural twinge of need he was beginning to feel in his bladder.

Gale – the real Gale – and Halsin were still nowhere to be found, so he allowed himself to push the matter from his mind for the moment.

Eventually he was left with no other choice but to return to his tent and read again, helping himself to a glass of the sanguine vintage Tav had purchased for him.

The time passed much faster this time – the next thing he knew, he’d finished two glasses of the wine, and had a lovely buzz going.

He felt another twinge from his bladder now, more insistently now with the introduction of the alcohol.

I’d better go now, before it gets much worse… he thought, prying himself up from where he was lounging and peeking his head out of his tent.

He heard a soft snore coming from Wyll’s tent, but not another soul in sight. He eased his way out of the folds of his tent as quietly as possible, focusing on a nearby gathering of trees that allowed for plenty of coverage.

“Hello!” the wizard’s infuriatingly chipper voice greeted with a rush of air as the Mirror Image of Gale manifested right behind him. “I'm here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep!”

“Oh, gods…” Astarion groaned, rubbing his hand slowly down his face. “Will you stop doing that?”

“Judging by your fluid intake, in tandem with the amount of time elapsed since we last spoke, it stands to reason that you may be experiencing a full bladder,” Mirror-Gale explained enthusiastically.

Astarion clenched his fist, reminding himself that murdering the illusion would do nothing but tire him out. “How exceptionally insightful of you, you clever little ghost!”

The jovial expression faded from the image’s face. “I am not a ghost, I am an immaterial manifestation,” Mirror-Gale corrected pointedly and with exaggerated patience, as though speaking to someone too dense to be angry with.

“Whatever,” Astarion sighed.

The not-quite-ghost looked a bit put out, but continued: “Gale of Waterdeep would like to remind you that your participation is requested in the field by the riverbed.”

“And I would like to remind Gale of Waterdeep to sod off!” Astarion spat back in a mockingly sweet voice.

“This is none of your damn business, Gale! Yours or the druid’s!”  Astarion felt the familiar prickle of panic swirling in the pit of his gut. “Whatever this scheme of yours is, just forget it!”

For the first time, Mirror-Gale looked genuinely hurt. “Scheme? What could I possibly have to scheme about regarding this?”

“I don’t know!” Astarion shouted. “Why else would you possibly care?!”

Mirror-Gale frowned. “Because I know what it’s like! I have things I’m self-conscious about too, you know.”

Astarion paused, his fury abated momentarily by the wizard's unexpected candor.

“I mean…” Mirror-Gale cleared his throat, “I’d very much like to have your confidence in the ways of…. well, romance, and such. You’ve got lovers crawling over one another to get to you.” Mirror-Gale rubbed his hands together nervously. “It’s just, you know. Everyone has something like that.”

Astarion was silent for a moment, perturbed by the sudden change in mood. He’d been much more comfortable when he couldn’t stand Gale – but the damnable oafish wizard kept making it difficult to keep hating him.

“Well, despite your heinous attitude towards him,” Mirror-Gale continued, conviviality returning to his voice once more, “Gale believes you should know that he received a message through the Weave from Tav, but maybe you don’t deserve--”

Astarion stood at full attention, all humor gone from him now. “What did she say? What happened? Where is she?” All said in one breath.

Mirror-Gale appeared guilty for a moment at Astarion’s obvious concern. Repentant, the specter matched his serious demeanor now. “No no, she’s fine! She’s fine –” a visible slump of relief in Astarion’s shoulders now – “they’re searching for the hag near The Blighted Village.”

“Right…” Astarion said, taking a moment to let his heart stop racing. “And what else did she say?”

“Gale told her about the situation with you and him and Halsin, and the whole….”

The misty illusion appeared to glance around to make sure they were alone, then lowered its voice to little more than a breeze: “urinary thing.”

Astarion rolled his eyes in exasperation, even as he felt a touch of fondness that the wizard had been thoughtful enough to whisper this time.

“…And Tav said she thinks it’s a good idea!” Mirror-Gale finished emphatically.

Astarion’s brow furrowed, as though deep in thought. “She did?”

“Indeed!” Mirror-Gale confirmed. “She said you should allow Halsin to help you!”

Astarion’s gaze was miles away.

“She told me to tell you the wine would help. And also, she said she loves you,” Mirror-Gale added.

“Hmm.” Astarion huffed, the corners of his lips twitching upward. “Well, thank you for telling me.”

“Shall I tell Halsin to expect you in the field?” Mirror-Gale asked.

Astarion sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “Ugh, no need,” he said. “I’ll tell him myself."

~~~

Just as Gale had said, the enormous druid was standing in the middle of the field, as solid and unmoving as a mountain as the tall grass whispered in rolling waves around him. Beside him, a supply pack that looked miniscule in comparison but was actually almost as tall as Astarion’s shoulders.

“Um. Hello—” Astarion began awkwardly.

“GOOD EVENING!” Mirror-Gale greeted enthusiastically with a polite wave. “I'm here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep! We are here to-”

“For gods’ sake, Gale, enough with the ghost wizard thing!” Astarion groaned. “I’ve decided not to kick your ass for now, but that could change the longer this thing sticks around…” He waved a hand through the Mirror Image to punctuate his point. The wizard’s form wavered like smoke at his touch, only to come back together moments later.

“I believe I made it clear that I am in fact an immaterial manifestation,” Mirror-Gale corrected again. “But right you are! I’ll return to Gale of Waterdeep and make him aware that his safety upon returning to camp is assured!”

The specter turned toward Halsin, who was watching the whole exchange with a bemused smirk. “Goodbye, Halsin!”

“Goodbye, Ghost Gale,” Halsin responded cordially. Astarion had to bite back a guffaw as the image disappeared in a huff.

“How are you faring, Astarion?” Halsin asked, now that they were alone.

“Ah, well enough, thank you…” Astarion coughed, scratching the back of his head nervously as he craned his neck to meet the man’s eye. “I… um… well, what exactly did Gale tell you?”

“He mentioned you were having difficulty coming to terms with some of your body’s, ah, natural needs,” Halsin explained gently.

“That’s… a fair summation,” Astarion admitted, cheeks hot.

“At first I began thinking of nature’s remedies to your physical body – cranberries, healing salves, and the like – but then Gale mentioned that it may not be a physical affliction.”

Astarion’s gaze fell in shame. Of course, he was more likely to suffer an affliction of the imaginary persuasion…

“Don’t misunderstand me,” Halsin continued, noticing Astarion’s crestfallen response. “An affliction of the mind is not always one you can see, but that makes it no less real. And certainly no less dangerous,” Halsin spoke judiciously. “Many a fool has made the mistake of neglecting their mental wellbeing – to disastrous and tragic results.”

Astarion met Halsin’s gaze again, bolstered by the man’s empathy. “…It’s… It’s because of my old master,” he explained quietly. “I can’t… um, relieve myself,” Astarion regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth –  for fuck’s sake, just say piss, you’re talking to a gods-damned bear – “… with others nearby.”

His vision clouded with painful memories. “He… used to do very cruel things to me, with regard to this particular need.” He paused. “Well, in every way, actually, but…”

Halsin nodded slowly, his stony face unchanged. “I am sorry to hear that. It was unfair and undeserved. And I’m happy to have you out of that situation.”

The man’s words were touching. Genuine. Astarion cleared his throat, unsure how to proceed.

“It may surprise you,” Halsin continued, “but I know what it’s like, to not have control of your own body.”

Astarion’s brow raised.

“Not to the same extent, I’m sure – and certainly not for centuries, as you had to endure. I don’t mean to imply that. But I was also enslaved, for a time. In the Underdark.”

“Really?” Astarion was shocked – it would take a hell of a cage to keep Halsin enslaved.

“It was a long time ago,” Halsin began. “I was a foolhardy young druid, intent on seeing the beauty of nature's unworldly fauna and subterranean glow for myself.”

Halsin’s own gaze began to drift as he searched his mind’s vault. Astarion couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for being untrusting of Halsin previously.

“Certain... events transpired, and I found myself a guest of a noble drow house for a time. Well, something between guest, prisoner, and… consort, perhaps.”

Astarion’s eyes widened – Halsin’s situation truly was sounding more and more like his own. “Consort?”

“The house matron took an interest in me, and the patron also…” Halsin explained, “They saw me as a novelty, perhaps. I was chained in their bedchamber for nigh on three years.”

“…I know the feeling,” Astarion sighed. “I’m surprised you survived at all.”

“It was touch-and-go for a while…” Halsin admitted. “It was not ideal… but not without its positive either. I did what was necessary to survive. And perhaps a few things that were less than necessary.”

Astarion was slightly perturbed by the almost tender tone in the man’s voice.

“I'm not sure if this is a fond memory or a cautionary tale…” Astarion said tentatively. Clearly our situations weren’t that similar, then, Astarion thought. Death would have been far preferable over the centuries under Cazador’s twisted thumb.

“The passage of time has a strange way of polishing even the most arduous of memories into precious keepsakes,” Halsin reasoned. “Had circumstances been slightly different, I may have been put to work in mines, or killed outright.”

“Don't misunderstand me,” Halsin clarified, noticing Astarion’s consternation. “I feared for my life, and wanted my freedom back. But I was willing to wait for my moment, and eventually it came.”

Astarion huffed derisively. " Confusing slavery with a fond memory is quite the shift in perspective."

"Apologies,” Halsin’s thick  brow curved upwards just slightly. “I meant no offense. I survived, and in years to come, I must have allowed hardships to become dwarfed by the Shadow Curse in my mind…”

Astarion watched as real pain flashed across the druid’s face, now. “I lost friends, confidantes, and had the weight of responsibility bear down on me unrelentingly. There was scant opportunity for self-reflection.”

A twinge of guilt, now – Halsin had spent centuries helping nature flourish and becoming a leader to the weak and helpless. Who the hell was he, a blood-sucking sex puppet, to cast judgment?

“I am lucky to have your counsel,” Halsin smiled at him now. “It was sorely needed.”

Astarion let out an awkward sigh, unsure whether to apologize or thank him – neither of which he was particularly skilled at to begin with. “So… how did you escape?”

“I took my chance and fled while all were distracted. Lolth's noble houses are constantly at each other's throats, and eventually, some rivals of my hosts sought to unseat them. It was chaos - drow against drow, the clash of blades echoing throughout the caverns, the feel of warm blood that I could not see...” Halsin’s eyes closed. “I never looked back until I breathed fresh air again, and never learned what came of my hosts.”

For a moment, neither of them said anything – just listened to the rustling of the wind through the tall grass.

“I tell you this,” Halsin continued, “because I understand the confusing nature of the… tumultuous connection between captor and captive.”

Astarion felt his breath catch in his throat.

“I speak in generalities, of course,” the druid continued. “I don’t mean to assume to understand the complexities of your situation – doing so would not be possible.”

Halsin looked so directly into Astarion’s eyes that he had to look away.

“…But I have to imagine, in over 200 years… that there was torment, and pain, and fear, and hatred. But there were also brief glimmers of happiness. Of yearning for their approval, in spite of yourself.” Sorrow, across the man’s stony face now. “Of momentary comfort in their hollow words. Of knowing you were being manipulated, yet desiring a connection with them all the same – if for no other reason than to end the ceaseless loneliness.”

Astarion’s entire body clenched, shaken at the accuracy… the ease with which the druid described the feelings he himself had never even attempted to put into words…

“For as much hatred – deservedly so – as they hold in our minds, a captor can also cling steadfastly to the captive’s heart – often for years after they are freed from captivity.”

Astarion said nothing, but hung on his every word, eyes wide.

“The greatest healing you can bring to yourself is to forgive yourself for feeling both feelings,” Halsin concluded. “And allow yourself to accept what was done to you – not to excuse it, but to accept it as a painful portion of the past. One that can never be changed – but you can make sure it will never be repeated.”

Halsin had never seen the vampire speechless. He hoped, as they stood there together in silence, that his words had been helpful. Judging by the way he seemed lost in thought, it appeared as though he had at least expanded his perspective.

“For what it’s worth,” Halsin added finally, “I believe there is no better companion for you than Tav.”

Astarion let out a trill of laughter, allowing himself to slip back into his cocky persona. “What a change of heart, since last time you spoke of us. What were the words you used? ‘A harmless game, until it becomes real,’ I believe?”

Halsin nodded, putting his hands amicably on his hips. “I admit, I misjudged you. I took your promiscuous façade at face-value, and assumed you had nefarious intentions. But I was wrong. Seeing you together now… Astarion - I'm astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from.”

Astarion averted his gaze, feeling his cheeks grow hot once more. He wasn’t used to such ardent praise – about something beside his body, that is. “Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby?”

Halsin chuckled. “Jest all you will - I believe now in your honest heart. Particularly since it’s been quite some time since the two of you came together physically, and your feelings remain the same…”

Astarion’s jaw dropped before he could stop himself – how could he possibly know about their abstinence? Had they truly been so loud during sex before? “I… How…” Then, finally getting a hold of himself, “Whatever do you mean? We’re in one another’s tent every night!”

It was Halsin’s turn to blush. “Bears have, ah, a regrettably strong sense of smell… a blessing and a curse, depending on the situation.”

Astarion’s eyes widened, scandalized, as he brought his hand up to his chest in horror. “You… you pervert!”

Halsin held up his hands in innocence. “It’s very much beyond my control, I can assure you! Even so… it’s been quite a while since I’ve picked up on your… particular musk.”

Astarion grumbled – it was hardly as though he could hold the man’s sense of smell against him, but he was offended regardless.

“I know your love for her is true, Astarion,” Halsin said sincerely. “I have been alive for over 300 years. I can recognize a man in love.”

 Astarion simply nodded – there was no use in denying it, or qualifying it. Not anymore.

“…But do you not desire sex with her, in that way?” Halsin asked gently. “I only ask because love and arousal do not always necessarily go hand-in-hand. And with as much experience as you have in this regard…”

“That’s the thing,” Astarion said, running his hands through his hair, grounding himself to the present moment. “…I do. Desire it.”

“Then why the hesitation?” Halsin asked.

“I… I don’t know, really. It just… it feels wrong, somehow.” Astarion’s gaze drifted to the ground, lost in his own thoughts. “I spent centuries mastering the act of sex, with all manner of souls. Male, female, neither – tiefling, human, otherkin – it never mattered. I was a fisherman that cast a wide net. My body would react as necessary – the blood would flow to my prick, I would do what I needed to do, and it would be over – another conquest for my puppet master. A means to an end. I felt… nothing, for so long.”

Astarion felt a pang of grief at his own words. “But with Tav, it’s… it’s incredible. It… feels incredible. For the first time in my long, miserable existence. Like some sort of long-held joke that someone finally explained to me.”

Halsin’s lips ticked upwards in a supportive smile. “That’s wonderful.”

Astarion’s vision blurred as tears filled his eyes, and he wiped his eyes furiously. What a ridiculous thing to cry about. Pathetic. “Ugh, idiot…” he hissed at himself.

“There is no shame in weeping, Astarion,” Halsin said warmly. “Emotions are as a part of our nature as our skin and blood and bones.”

Astarion huffed. Sounds like something Tav would say…

“But it doesn’t matter, because every time I even think of trying to bed her, it’s like I’m right back under his control. It feels… it feels like a betrayal.”

“To your old master, you mean?” Halsin asked.

“To her,” Astarion clarified, lip quivering. “I can’t even say ‘I love you’ without feeling as though I’m trying to trick her. Because that’s all I’ve ever done.”

His voice was shaking now, the truth of his words overwhelming as he spoke them aloud for the first time. “I feel… I feel broken. Like I’ve been a liar for so long, I don’t know how to be truthful…”

“…And she…” The tears spilled onto his cheeks now, his gaze fixed on the ground directly in front of him as Tav’s little half-smile filled his mind’s eye. “She couldn’t be more deserving of everything I can’t give her.”

“You can give her everything you have to give at the moment, and she will be happy for it,” Halsin placed his enormous hand on Astarion’s shoulder now. Astarion startled at first, but appreciated the gesture of comfort. “And she can give you everything she has to give, at the moment. And over time, the amounts you are able to give will change. Such is the nature of a partnership.”

Astarion said nothing, allowing Halsin’s words to set in.

“And the good news is, your threshold for intimacy will only increase with time. The longer you allow yourself to heal, and the more patient you are with yourself – the body and mind will regenerate.”

Astarion gave a single nod. “I hope so…”

“And, since you mentioned feeling as though you were a means to an end…” Halsin added, the corners of his mouth twitching upward. “The best way to start is to take away the expectation of completion.”

Astarion’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I… don’t think I follow.”

“If I may speak plainly,” Halsin prefaced, a chuckle in his voice, “…don’t come.”

Astarion blinked. “Really? Edging? That’s your advice?”

 “Do whatever you would normally do – touch her, kiss her, feel her… but don’t allow your manhood to enter her womanhood. Do everything else. And don’t let yourself reach orgasm – as much as you can avoid it.”

Halsin turned to his supply pack and began rummaging through it. “Now! As illuminating as this conversation has been, it’s not what we originally came to discuss.”

He took out several carafes of wine, water, and mead, and handed one to Astarion. “Drink up.”

“Ah, wonderful!” Gale’s chipper voice trilled from behind them. “I haven’t missed the fun!”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

“Absolutely not,” Astarion insisted as Gale reappeared. It was humiliating enough talking to Halsin about his issue, let alone the ever-helpful, meddling wizard...

“Gale will be playing a crucial part in our plan,” Halsin explained. “We’ll need his Mirror Image ability.”

“Oh please,” Astarion groaned. “We just now got rid of the Ghost Gale…”

“Immaterial Manifestation Gale!” Gale corrected frustratedly.

“Not for Gale – for you,” the druid clarified.

Halsin took a swig from a small copper flask, his expression unflinching, and passed it to Gale. Gale took a swig as well – and immediately dribbled a good portion of it onto himself, eyes widening, spluttering and coughing as the harsh liquid burned his throat.

“Merlin’s beard!” Gale wheezed. “What is that?!”

“Flaming water from a goblin camp,” Halsin chuckled, plucking the flask from Gale’s quivering hand and offering it to Astarion. “A violent mouthfeel, to be sure, but it goes to the mind very quickly. And to the bladder, even more so.”

Astarion took the flask and glanced down at it cautiously. “I’ve already had a fair amount of wine, you know…” he admitted.

The pressure in his bladder had increased steadily during his emotional conversation with Halsin, and now that it was the main focus of his mind once more, he realized that the need was becoming constant.

“The fuller the bladder, the easier it will be for nature to take its course,” Halsin reasoned, holding out a small bottle of water to each of them. “But if you’re worried about getting too drunk, we have plenty of tea and water as well.”

He huffed. “Getting too drunk” had never been an issue for his vampiric body, but feeling his bladder nigh onto bursting certainly had been. “Fine, fine,” Astarion sighed, and followed suit, wincing as the burning liquid from the flask warmed his insides all the way down.

Gale, after having finished chasing the caustic liquid with cool, refreshing water, wiped his lips and turned to face Halsin. “So! How can my magic be of service to you?”

“We need another Astarion,” Halsin stated.

“Can’t get enough?” Astarion grinned, framing his face. “I’m not surprised…”

Gale groaned and rolled his eyes, but prepared his stance anyway.

“Mundus vult decipi!” Gale recited a spell as he held a hand in front of Astarion’s face.

Within a matter of seconds, a Mirror Image of Astarion appeared next to them. It was much less detailed than the Gale specter had been – more of an amorphous outline in the general shape of Astarion – like a living shadow. Rather than a fully formed face, the image instead had a cloudy visage with two bright dots of light shining where his eyes would be.

“Hmmm,” Gale tutted, inspecting his creation. “It’s a decent enough facsimile, although with the undead-vampire-with-no-reflection thing, it seems the magic has some… limitations.”

“Hello ~daaaah-ling!~” Mirror-Astarion warbled. Its voice sounded to be somewhere between Astarion’s actual voice, the clanging of a blacksmith’s irons, and a yowling tom cat.

The real Astarion glared at Gale from beneath his eyelashes in mock offense, and pretended to be unamused. “Hmph. Well, it’s still more handsome than Ghost Gale, at least.”

Mirror-Astarion waggled its fingers at Astarion seductively, one of its pinpricks of light closing in a flirtatious wink. “You can hardly blame Gale. No amount of magic could accurately capture ~my~ beauty.”

“Perfect!” Halsin grinned. “Now, Astarion – we will continue to drink until our wavy blue friend here-” he gestured towards the Mirror Image – “feels the need to urinate.”

“And what good will that do, exactly?” Astarion raised an eyebrow incredulously.

“I was thinking,” Halsin explained. “Since you can’t look in a mirror, you have no way of conceptualizing what it looks like to see yourself urinate,” Halsin explained. “Ergo, we allow you to see yourself – at least, this version of yourself – pissing, and it will no longer be such a foreign concept.”

Gale nodded along eagerly. “Makes perfect sense to me! Once the real Astarion sees the fake Astarion doing it, his mind will no longer think of it as such an impossibility.”

“Then, if we can teach the fake Astarion to piss with us right beside him,” Halsin concluded, “the real Astarion will be more likely to relax – because the concept will no longer be so new and terrifying. Exposure therapy, if you will.”

Astarion wasn’t sure that any of this would work – it seemed like a long shot even before factoring in the questionable resemblance the specter bore to Astarion.

But, hells, both men already knew his shameful secret anyway. And it was hardly as though there was anything else to keep him occupied until the girls got back…

And… if Tav thought that this would be helpful to him… Well, he might as well try, right?

Even so, the fear of failure pooled in his stomach – the familiar panic of being unable to do what was expected of his body, particularly under the watchful eye of others. He wasn’t sure he would survive the humiliation. How would this time be any different than the thousands – tens of thousands – of times he’d tried before?

“And what happens,” Astarion began, crossing his arms in front of him – a movement of apparent aloofness and arrogance, but which was truthfully an attempt to literally hold himself together. “When we’ve recited all of our flowery poetry, sang all of our kumbayas, and still my body won’t obey me?”

Astarion bit down on his lower lip to keep his voice steady; better to sound angry than to sound like a sniveling child…

“What happens when it doesn’t work?” he asked, every inch of his body as tight as a bowstring.

Halsin gave a single, solemn nod. “That might happen,” he admitted. “And that’s okay.”

Astarion was put off at how easy the druid made it sound. “Okay? Okay for whom?!”

“Okay for you,” Halsin insisted calmly. “Because progress is made in small steps as much as it’s made in large ones. And even if your body says no this time, your mind will begin to say yes. And the next time, it’ll be a little easier. And the next time after that, a little easier still.”

“It’s just like the old story of the tortoise and the hare!” Gale provided cheerfully, feeling as though it was his turn to say something supportive.

Astarion groaned. “Very astute comparison, wizard. Next I expect you’ll be teaching me to write my ABC’s…”

Gale’s smile faded just a bit, but he kept his tone jovial. “My dear man, if you haven’t mastered them after over 200 years, I fear that may be beyond even my capabilities,” he replied curtly.

Astarion snorted, in spite of himself. Alright, dammit, that was a good one.

“And rest assured,” Halsin continued as though they hadn’t spoken, “no matter what happens tonight, no one will ever have to know one way or the other. Just us and the trees.” He smiled warmly. “Still, I don’t wish for you to feel forced into it. If you truly think this exercise will be harmful, rather than helpful, we’ll certainly respect your decision.”

Gale nodded in agreement, eyes shining kindly in solidarity.

Mirror-Astarion picked at its fingernails disinterestedly.

“Ugh… yes, alright, fine,” Astarion sighed. “Just… stop looking at me like that!”

“Thatta boy!” Gale whooped, clapping Astarion on the back. “Now, before we begin,” he manifested a scroll of parchment and a quill from the air with the flourish of a magician in a parlor of drunkards. “Let’s take a scholarly inventory of how everyone is fairing, as far as our bladders are concerned.”

Halsin raised a brow at the wizard, intrigued. “And how do we go about that?”

Gale’s quill wobbled furiously as he fashioned a chart onto his parchment, labelling it with each of their names. “First, we’ll list the last time we urinated, for reference as to how long we’ve been holding,” he explained. Then, intermittently we will note what we’ve had to drink since then, and the gravity of our need on a scale from one to ten.”

Astarion sighed. “And what good will that do, exactly?”

“I’m curious to see how drastically the alcohol affects us in comparison to regular liquid,” Gale said. “If a mug of ale really does hit us faster than the same mug of water, over the same amount of time.”

“After 300 years of experience, I assure you – it does,” Halsin stated matter-of-factly.

“Oh come on, no reason we can’t all learn something from this experiment!” Gale pleaded. “And I did already make the chart…”

Halsin nodded appreciatively at the parchment in Gale’s hands. “So you did. Very well, then. If the scale is from one to ten, does that mean ‘one’ is the least pressing need?”

“Yes, ‘one’ means you’ve just finished urinating and you’re completely empty. Ten means… well, you’ll be back at ‘one’ very soon, like it or not.”

Astarion winced; talking about it so much was certainly making it worse – and he had already been on his way to relieve himself when he had first left his tent. “Alright, alright, let’s get on with it.”

“As for me, I went about two hours ago,” Gale provided helpfully, scribbling onto the chart as he went. “And in that time I’ve had one and a half goblets of water, and one sip of whatever the hells was in that damned flask of yours.” His eyes glazed over in concentration. “Hmmmm, I’d say I’m rather squarely at a ‘four’ out of ten. What about you, Halsin?”

“I last answered the call of nature before lunchtime, and I’ve drunk 4 carafes of water, a goblet of mead, two pots of Turmishan-herb tea, and a mug of ale while I was waiting for the two of you to arrive,” Halsin answered.

Gale and Astarion both stared at him as though he’d grown a second head.

“…Well, there’s a lot of me to keep hydrated, to be fair,” he reasoned with a laugh, gesturing at his hulking stature.

“Give me a second…” Gale scribbled furiously, struggling to write all the drinks as he listed them. “Mug… of… ale…Right, and what about your number one-to-ten?”

“Ah yes. A five or six, perhaps,” said Halsin.

“Well which is it, a five or a six?” Gale prodded.

“Hmmm… I suppose it depends if I’m sitting or standing,” Halsin reasoned.

“Well, seeing as you’re standing right now, we might say the number stands at five, eh?” Gale chortled.

“FIVE, gods dammit, put him at a five!” Astarion was quickly losing his patience.

“Right!” Gale scratched a “five” under Halsin’s name. “And what about you, Astarion?”

“Oh, how kind of you to include me in this experiment done for my benefit!” Astarion crooned sarcastically.

“I’m Aaaastaaaariooon, and I ~hate~ charts!” Mirror-Astarion whined arrogantly. “I’ve only pissed twice in my entire life, and I’m ~very mean~ to my friend Gale who’s just trying to help me!”

Astarion felt a wave of guilt at the Mirror Image’s words – particularly because it was apparently a representation of how Gale himself viewed Astarion.

Gale’s version of him had called him his “friend,” without a second thought. Even while taking a jab at him...

And the wizard really had tried to help him at every turn, ill-advised and short-sighted though some of his methods had been.

Astarion held his breath for a moment to keep his eyes from watering.

Damnable wizard.

“I… um, I haven’t… gone since this morning…” Astarion said finally. “I caught and drank the blood of a few rabbits, drank some water while I was cleaning up, then had a couple glasses of wine in my tent.”

Gale jotted them down. “Good, and what about your number from one-to-ten?”

“Erm… seven, I suppose,” he murmured, a flush of heat rising to his cheeks as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Right,” Gale said, writing a “seven” next to Astarion’s name, then tucking the scroll into his robes. “I suppose we’ll have to drink up, in order to catch up with you.”

Astarion shuffled his feet. “Don’t worry, I imagine I’ll need to be at a good 13 or 14 before anything actually comes out…”

Halsin and Gale both chuckled at that.

“Well, you’re able to have a sense of humor about it!” Halsin encouraged. “That’s progress in and of itself.”

The tiniest of smiles pricked at Astarion’s lips.

“We’ll have to put this one here at an 8 or 9, then,” Halsin said, gesturing towards Mirror-Astarion.

“What?” Mirror-Astarion gasped.

“Say no more!” Gale held his hands up helpfully. “Decipi aqua pura!”

The Mirror Image lurched forward with a cry of pain as the apparent need washed over it. “Agh! Damnable wizard!”

Astarion cackled. “Ha! I like him!”

“Oy!”

They all turned to see Wyll, at the edge of the field, waving his arms to get their attention. “Chow’s on! If the three of you are quite finished doing whatever the hell you’re doing!”

“Perfect! I’m starved,” Halsin hoisted his supply pack onto his back. “We’ll continue this after dinner. Bring your drinks, boys.”

“Wait! I have to piss, dammit! You’re just going to leave me alone out here?!” Mirror-Astarion whined, bringing its hands to the general vicinity of its groin.

“Of course not! Give me just a moment!” Gale reassured the specter. “Mundus vult decipi!”

“…GOOD EVENING!” A second, warbly voice said. “I'm here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep!”

“Gods dammit!”

Astarion couldn’t help but chuckle to himself as he turned towards camp. It really was funny, when it wasn’t happening to him…

~~~

It was always a treat when Wyll cooked, even for Astarion.

Having grown up in luxury under Duke Ravengard, he was well-versed in making incredible flavors from all over Faerûn. Now, even with the limited ingredients of life on the road, he always made the entire camp smell exotic and delicious. Plus, the Blade of Frontiers wasn’t afraid of blood – and was kind enough to gather it in a container for Astarion when preparing the meat.

Now, as they sat around their makeshift table, Astarion felt perfectly… normal.

Halsin, Gale, and Wyll were devouring the roasted boar and potatoes Wyll had prepared, while Astarion sipped the creature’s blood from a goblet – with a bit of the fire water from the goblin camp mixed in, for good measure.

He couldn’t remember ever laughing so much – his cheeks were sore from smiling.

There was a peculiar camaraderie that arose from his companions without the presence of the women – not to say they didn’t all enjoy their company, of course – but there was a certain comfort… a… vulnerability, almost… that came with all of them being together without them.

As though the desire to be strong, to be needed was no longer there. The strain of putting on a brave face was… well, not gone, but… lessened.

It was an unusual feeling, for someone who had only ever seen other men as either conquests for Cazador, or competition for conquests for Cazador.

They spoke about everything and nothing, finding commonalities in the most unlikely of situations. They spoke of past joys and long-held pains, laughing all the way.

Even so, eventually the conversation turned back towards their missing campmates…

“Have you noticed any attachments of the more, erm, romantic variety flourishing in our camp, Wyll?” Gale asked, his cheeks going ruddy with wine as he finished off his meal.

Wyll gave a little chuckle. “I think I'm not the right person to be asking. I can recognize a troll's silhouette on a far horizon, but I wouldn't know a flirtation if you whacked me alongside the head with it. Even my first kiss eventually had to come out and ask me to make a move, when I was 15...”

“You didn't kiss anyone until you were fifteen?” Astarion gasped – he had to admit, he was shocked. The Blade of Frontiers was far from hard to look at. “Gods, what a tragic, sheltered life...”

“Sheltered? Not at all. I was exposed to all manner of riot and revelry. Hells, my father even urged me on once or twice…” Wyll’s eyes drifted away for a moment, reminiscing fondly. “But I've always been a bit old-fashioned on these matters. I find more pleasure in a courtly dance than a loveless fling.”

Astarion smiled at that. “You’re all the wiser for it,” he said genuinely – and even Wyll seemed pleasantly surprised. “Take it from someone who has had a lot of loveless flings.”

Wyll took a gulp from his wine and held it up to him in toast. “Astarion, I just want to say – I judged you wrongly.”

“Really?” Astarion crooned, sipping the blood cocktail from his goblet. “And how - specifically - have you misjudged my fine character?”

“You aren't actually insufferably randy. You're just insufferable.”

The lot of them hollered with laughter. Astarion winced a bit as his bladder was jostled with the movement.

“Halsin!” Wyll faced the druid across the table. “Tell me about the man behind the hulking wall of muscle. Do you actually do anything besides meditate, counsel, fight, train, and make love?”

Halsin thought about it for a moment. “Is such an existence lacking?”

“Hm. Good question,” Wyll replied.

Another round of laughter. Astarion was beginning to feel pleasantly drunk.

“Wildshaping must sprinkle some spice on your love life, Halsin,” Gale piped up.

“Indeed it does. Did you never experience such delights with Mystra?” Halsin asked. “I hear the gods enjoy taking on the form of swans, horses, eagles and the like when visiting with mortals.”

“Oh no. Quite the opposite, actually,” Gale poured himself another glass. “She mostly preferred our interactions to be abstract and incorporeal. Most invigorating.”

 “You laid with a goddess?” Astarion gaped. “You must have some sordid tales to tell?”

“Sordid?” Gale sounded scandalized. “I lay with the Mother of Magic herself. What we had was transcendent, euphoric, incandescent. Not sordid!”

Astarion huffed. “You actually made sleeping with a goddess sound boring. Incredible...”

And now even Gale was laughing, elbowing Astarion good-naturedly.

Astarion found himself crossing his legs beneath the table, unwilling to interrupt their revelry with his need to piss (and after all, they were supposed to be holding it until after dinner).

Wyll addressed Gale, now: “I used to believe the beauty of first love was unable to be surpassed. But Gale - you are so much more tolerable now you've found your second.”

Gale opened his mouth to respond, then took a moment to think it over. “I'll take that comment with the sincerity and good will I assume it was intended!” he said cheerfully. “But wait—what do you mean, ‘second love?’ I’m not in love!”

Astarion grinned, happy that someone else was teasing the wizard now – it made him feel less guilty about it. “Yes, Gale, how is your sad, hopeless pining going?” he teased.

“I'm hardly pining!” Gale protested. “It's been a year or more since Mystra cast me aside.”

“Oh, my dear wizard. I wasn't talking about Mystra,” Astarion simpered.

Halsin began gathering the dishes. “Oh, come off it, Gale – you’re not fooling anyone.” There was a smile in his voice.

For once, Gale was silent. “…Are my feelings really that obvious?” he finally asked quietly.

“To everyone besides her, oddly enough.” Astarion chuckled. “Although that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel the same way…”

“For gods’ sake, just tell Karlach how you feel, mate!” Wyll insisted, nodding enthusiastically. “She’s mad about you, too, we’re all just placing bets on when one of you will buck up and say it.”

“I’ve tried!” Gale said defensively. “Or at least, I’ve… started to try. But then my words get all… jumbled up! And I’m an expert at talking!”

Astarion let out a cackle – then squeezed his thighs together at the painful jab this brought to his bladder.

“Halsin, you must have accumulated considerable wisdom on matters of the heart in your long life,” Gale said, watching his wine as he swirled it in his cup. “Anything you'd like to pass on to a strapping, love-struck wizard such as myself?”

Halsin gave Gale a pat on the back as he gathered all the scraps to put in Scratch’s bowl. “Dispensing advice on matters of the heart would be like swapping boots - what suits me may be a poor fit for you.”

Gale’s eyes shifted even further downward – Astarion couldn’t help but notice that Gale’s gaze appeared to settle down into his own lap, up to Halsin, and then back to his lap once more. “Ah…” he grumbled, so quietly as though to himself. “Well, there's no faulting that logic...” Then, raising his head and taking another sip, addressing the table once again: “At least you didn't tell me to 'be myself'.”

“Oh no, perish the thought,” Halsin replied. “That can be outright cruel advice to offer in certain cases.”

Gale was looking directly at Astarion, now. “And what about you, Astarion? What sort of sweet-talking did you use on Tav?”

Astarion felt his chest begin to ache at her name.

“Tav…” he said, smiling to himself. “Tav didn’t fall for any of my sweet-talking. That’s what made her so intriguing.”

Shockingly, he didn’t even feel as though that was a failure on his part, anymore… rather, just a show of how truly remarkable Tav was. “And I’ve spent over 200 years mastering the art of sweet-talking, mind you. But she…”

Silence, now, as his companions listened intently, their laughter gone.

“She just… I don’t know.” He said, the words escaping him. “She just saw right through it…”

Astarion closed his eyes for a moment, suddenly missing her so much he felt like weeping. “I was the one determined to drop her as soon as she stopped being useful to me. But now, I…”

He looked over at Tav’s tent, lifeless and dark, and sighed.

“I don’t know, it’s… it’s like she took a part of me with her,” he finished lamely – then took the last gulp from his goblet.

Wyll looked at him now with a peculiar gleam in his eye – almost… admiration.

“Astarion,” Wyll said finally, “I was wrong about you. Truly wrong about you.”

Astarion huffed a laugh, setting his now empty goblet on the table. “Let me guess - you thought I'd suck blood, but actually I just suck.” He trilled, voice becoming typically sarcastic once again. “Was that your witty jab?”

“No, I mean it!” Wyll smiled. “There's little between us we share. But you've fallen in love and stood by your lover. That is something this dreamer's heart can appreciate.”

Astarion, overwhelmed at the sudden praise from the monster hunter and unsure quite what to make of it, stared down at his empty goblet. “…Thank you, Wyll,” he said quietly.

There was a moment of companionable silence – quiet but for the chirping of insects in the surrounding trees.

“Well! I think I’ve just about exhausted myself after killing and preparing that feast, so I’ll be heading to bed now,” Wyll said, rising up from his seat.

“Excellent!” Gale said, coming to a stand as well. “I’m beginning to feel quite the need for a good tree right about now, if you catch my drift. I’ve had quite a bit of wine!”

“I believe I should be the one saying that more than anyone,” Halsin said with a smirk. “I’ve had enough mead to fill your bladder three times, I’d wager.”

Wyll lifted an eyebrow. “Are the two of you having an actual pissing contest in the woods now?” Then, after a moment, he held both of his hands up in surrender. “You know what? Nevermind. I’m too tired to care. Goodnight.”

~~~
“Finally!” Mirror-Astarion gave a shrill whine as the men returned to the field, the specter moving about wildly as it fought its desperate need to piss. “It would have been less cruel to just kill me, you know!”

“Oh, p’shaw!” Mirror-Gale said, waving an ethereal blue hand dismissively. “I rather enjoyed our thrilling discussion on Faerûnian climate patterns! Very few people understand the intricacies of monsoon-levels of rainfall!”

“Thank you for your help, my dashingly meteorological friend!” Gale gave his Mirror Image a salute, then snapped his fingers, causing it to vanish.

Mirror-Astarion let out a sigh of relief. “Whatever it is you need me to do, can we get on with it already!? I think I liked it better before you forced me into existence.”

“Give me just a moment to update our chart here,” Gale said perkily, pulling the scroll from his robes. “I would put my need to urinate at an eight out of ten. What say you, Halsin?”

“It’s becoming a bit more urgent, as well,” Halsin admitted. “I think seven would be an accurate number.”

Gale nodded, jotting the numbers down. “Astarion?”

Astarion was having trouble standing still, particularly now that there was nothing else to distract him from the fullness of his bladder. “I… ah, nine I suppose?”

Although the number was rising with every moment he thought about it... Astarion’s heart was pounding out of his chest in cold, dreadful anticipation of the humiliation that was to come.

“Excellent!” Gale said, bringing his hands to the belt around his own robes in preparation for relief. “Shall we…?”

Halsin lifted a hand to his chin contemplatively. “I wonder… it might be better if I released some now as well. My bladder holds a fair amount more than yours, after all – I could do half with our Mirror Image friend and Gale, and the other half with Astarion.”

Gale’s prick was tingling insistently now. His bladder wasn’t used to all this discussion, nor was it used to being delayed relief for this long. “Fine with me!” he agreed a little too eagerly, undoing the belt now. “Better go ahead and–”

“Wait,” Halsin said, holding a massive hand up in the air as though to halt the wizard’s thoughts. “It’s imperative that Astarion watch us.”

“Right, of course!” Gale agreed enthusiastically, his voice adopting a twinge of franticness. “Come along then, Astarion! Up you get!”

I really should have put a nine or ten as my number… Gale thought to himself, his hips jerking to the side a bit as a rush of desperate need hit him. How quickly his suggestible body had caught up with their conversation…

“But first,” Halsin continued, “I think it would be best if the fake Astarion went by himself.”

Gale let out a little whimper at the idea of delaying release any further, but forced himself to nod. They were doing this for Astarion, after all…

“Thank fuck!” Mirror-Astarion spat, its wavy form unable to remain in the same spot for more than a second or two. “I’m about to piss my pants thanks to you all!”

Gale’s brow raised at this, intrigued. “Are you wearing pants?”

“Nevermind!” Mirror-Astarion groaned. “Just tell me where to go! And ~hurry!~”

“Let’s give the two of them a moment of privacy, shall we?” Halsin suggested, taking Gale by the shoulder and turning back toward camp.

“What?” Gale sounded distressed, but upon seeing the look in Halsin’s eye, he cleared his throat and nodded. “I mean, of course! Take all the time you need!” he shouted over his shoulder as the two of them began to walk away.

Once they had walked several meters – still in the grassy field, but out of earshot in case Astarion (and/or Mirror-Astarion) needed a moment to himself, Gale had no choice but to grab his cock through his robes.

“Mystra’s mercy, I hope he appreciates this!” Gale groaned, rubbing his thighs together as his tortured manhood throbbed with need. “I thought I was going to—”

Gale’s face burned with heat as Halsin’s gaze drifted to Gale’s groin, where he was holding onto the tip of his prick for dear life. His hand rushed away from it in shame.

But as soon as his hand was gone, urine began to dribble through the slit of his exhausted cockhead – and he was forced to pinch it closed once again.

“S-Sorry…” Gale said meekly. “I can’t… let go, or I’ll…”

Halsin just nodded, his expression unwavering, as he brought his own massive hand up to provide himself with the same assistance. “No need to be sorry. A man has but a few natural advantages with regards to his anatomy – and certainly no shortage of disadvantages.”

Halsin’s cock began to stiffen slightly at the attention, the outline of his enormous penis visible through his trousers now. “There is no shame in relying on these advantages, when needs must…” he concluded.

Gale’s eyes rushed to the ground now, for fear that the druid would notice him gawking. “Right. You’re, um, you’re struggling too, then?”

“Truthfully?” Halsin winced. “I’ve needed to piss since before Astarion came to meet me out here, before you even arrived.” He began to scissor his legs back and forth slightly, in an effort to relieve some of the pressure. “If I were to update that chart of yours now, I would put myself at about an eleven…”

Gale’s mouth dropped open. “How are you managing to hold on?!”

“The same way as you,” Halsin smiled. “By making use of our bodies’ natural advantages. That, and I’m wearing pants with pockets. Always helpful to sneak in a quick squeeze.”

Pockets, of course. “I’ll… keep that in mind,” said Gale.

~~~

Astarion felt his cheeks flush with heat as he stared at the visage of himself, straining to hold its piss even while he himself was aching with need.

It had been so long since he’d even seen the slightest reflection of himself. Imperfect and incomplete though this one was… he couldn’t help but stare.

“Are you ready yet?!” Mirror-Astarion demanded, legs crossing. “You’re very quickly running out of time here, you know!”

“Yes, go on!” Astarion nodded, snapping back into the present moment and gesturing at the ground in front of them.

The specter spread its legs into a wide stance, standing in profile so that Astarion could see the outline of its penis protruding from the rest of its mass. Finally, it released a heavy stream of dark blue shadow, thundering onto the grass below –

“~Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~” Mirror-Astarion’s head fell back, the two little globes of light disappearing as it closed its eyes in ecstasy.

Astarion’s jaw clenched with jealousy, his hand moving to his groin subconsciously and squeezing at the tip of his own prick.

“That wizard friend of yours is ~truly evil~ for doing this to me!” Mirror-Astarion spat. “I can’t imagine being a humanoid and having to do this multiple times a day!”

Astarion swallowed. “All creatures have to do it at some point,” he reasoned. “Not just humanoids… even the animals.”

His eyes scanned over the mystical form, taking in the image of his body – his body, lost to him for over 200 years...

It… truly did look just like any other man he’d ever seen pissing.

He’d seen countless men taking a piss throughout the years – against a building, behind a tree, into a river, even in the middle of a street in a drunken stupor. They all shared the same stance – legs slightly parted, one hand in front of them as they aimed, shoulders slowly lowering as their tension eased…

It was then that he realized… he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d been expecting. Logically, of course he would look no different than anyone else in this regard. It wasn’t as though he alone turned into a hideous monster the moment he relaxed his bladder muscles…

He just… looked like a man, taking a pee break.

“I like to watch you piss,” Tav’s voice echoed in his mind, breathy with arousal. “I like to get a nice peek at your cock throughout the day…”

“Are you listening!?” Mirror-Astarion snapped, its piss still flowing from it ceaselessly. “I hope you intend to punish him once I’m gone!”

“He…” Astarion quirked his head to the side, never glancing away. “He’s just trying to help me.”

“Help you ~what~, exactly? Touch yourself to another man pissing?!” Mirror-Astarion replied snarkily.

Astarion huffed. “I’m not touching myself, arsehole! I’m holding my piss in!” He thought for a moment. “And I would hardly qualify you as ‘another man,’ either – technically, you’re me!”

“Hmmm, so you’re touching yourself ~to yourself?~” Mirror-Astarion sneered. “I can’t blame you, of course, I ~am~ rather enticing.”

Astarion groaned, and crossed his legs. “Just hurry up, will you…”

Mirror-Astarion let out a contented little sigh as the stream of shadow continued to fall from it. “I really don’t see why you’re so afraid of this. This is my first time ever doing it, and I have to say, for as unpleasant as the build-up was – this feels ~delightful.~”

Astarion doubled over, his cock pulsing beneath his fingers as he fought to keep himself from leaking. “I’m not afraid of it!”

Mirror-Astarion appeared confused. “You don’t enjoy the feeling, then?”

“No!” Astarion snapped. “Of course I do, it’s a wonderful feeling— ughhh…” He hissed, his bladder aching at his words. “I just can’t do it in front of others! Because… because…”

The stream falling from the visage finally began to slow. “Because what?” Mirror-Astarion probed.

“I don’t know, alright?!” Astarion wailed. “Because… they’ll know!”

“They’ll ~know?~” Mirror-Astarion gave itself a little shake as it finally dribbled to a stop. “They’ll know what, exactly?”

“They’ll know that I need to!” Astarion keened, tightening his grip on his cock to the point of pain.

“But you just said that ~all~ creatures need to, darling,” Mirror-Astarion argued, its voice beginning to sound flustered at the faulty logic.

Astarion let out a long, frustrated groan. The words weren’t even making sense to his own ears…

Mirror-Astarion put its hand on its hips. “Well, those two bumble-headed campmates of yours look to be in pretty dire need as well, you know. And I very much doubt they’ll begrudge you for sharing your need with them.”

Astarion’s gaze gathered at the ground between his feet, his mind and body overwhelmed. “…I know,” he murmured.

“Hey, cheer up,” Mirror-Astarion said warily, as though unsure how to provide any sort of solace. “…You can do it.” With that, the specter turned toward the spot across the field where the two men were waiting patiently in the distance. “HEY! WE’RE READY!” it shouted, causing a few distant birds to fly away from its unworldly voice.

Then, turning back to Astarion: “I know you can do it, because ~I~ just did it, and I’m you!”

“Hopefully that was an illuminating experience for you,” Halsin said with a strained smile as he and Gale joined them once again, their movements a little stiffer than when they’d left.

“Am I done yet?” Mirror-Astarion sighed, as though this was eating into its busy schedule.

“Not quite – we’ll need you to do it one more time.” Halsin replied, and pointed a giant finger towards the visage. “Decipi aqua pura!”

“Aghhh!” The Mirror Image doubled over as the need hit it again, as though it had never left. “Gods dammit! Are you kidding me!?”

Gale was wriggling like a madman, his hips twisting every which way as he fought to contain the enormous weight in his bladder. “Are we ready?!” he whimpered. “I hate to steal focus, but I’m hanging on by a thread here!”

“Agreed,” Halsin nodded, pulling his heavy cock from his pants and pointing it at the ground. “We’ll release half now, with the Mirror Image, then half with Astarion.”

Gale pulled his own dribbling cock from his robes. “Yes, yes of course!” His voice was shaky as he clung to his control, drip after drip falling from his tip onto the grass below even as he tried desperately to stop them. “Now?!”

“Yes,” Halsin sighed as his muscles relaxed, his eyes lowering in half-lidded bliss. “Now.”

The trickling flow of three distinct streams filled the night air simultaneously, the sound nearly barreling Astarion over.

“Oh… Oh, Mystra’s… Mercy…” Gale panted, his body quaking as a shiver ran down his spine. He couldn’t have held it for another moment longer… he had been beginning to think he would flood his pants before they ever even made it back to Astarion…

Halsin growled with pleasure, deep in his throat, his stream so hefty that it was nearly double the size and sound of Gale’s or the specter’s. “Indeed… one of nature’s… simplest joys…”

“Fuck!” Mirror-Astarion sighed, enjoying the relief just as much the second time.

Astarion clutched his cock with both hands, now, squeezing with all his might as his body ached to join them in their relief.

“Nature… is comprised of the elements, which connect us to all things,” Halsin hummed, the dulcet tone of his voice soothing even to Astarion’s panicked ear.

“The soil that feeds us, to which we will someday return,” Halsin continued. “The air that we breathe, and the water that rains from the heavens… The same water that runs through our bodies, the life force of all living things… We return the water now, to nature…”

A burst of piss shot from the tip of his prick, and sprayed through Astarion’s fingers. His eyes widened as he felt it soak into his breeches. What in the hells--!

“In a moment, we will halt our streams, just for a few seconds – just long enough for our brother in nature, Astarion, to join us in our flourishing in nature’s bounty,” Halsin said.

“Like hells I will,” Mirror-Astarion protested. “I’ve waited enough for you lot!”

“I – I’m trying, but… I don’t think I’ll be able to stop…” Gale said, voice peaked in discomfort. A frenzied hiss from his cock, now, as he tried and failed to pinch the tip of himself closed, managing to spray himself in the process.

No, don’t stop! Astarion thought, pulling his burning, aching penis into the cool night air. It was coming…

If he could just keep this momentum, he would…

“It’s alright, Gale,” Astarion reassured him, his voice unusually sincere and gentle, barely more than a whisper. “Keep going. All of you, please… K-keep talking…”

It was filling his cock to the very brim… He could feel it… it was… almost…

“We will return our waters to the soil, in remembrance of how we are connected to the very tides of the ocean…” Halsin’s voice hung in the air like the howl of a wolf.

…The sound of four streams, now.

And for a moment, even Halsin stopped to listen, as though he’d misheard.

“Keep talking!” Astarion pleaded, squeezing his eyes closed as his newfound stream wavered shyly at the disruption. “Please, just—”

“The earth rejoices as we come together to nourish it,” Halsin continued seamlessly, careful not to sound too enthusiastic now that the plan was working. “Fill your lungs with the sweet, clean air of nature, as your body continues the endless cycle of the elements.”

Astarion’s bladder screamed with relief as the unbearable weight of piss slowly poured from it. His entire body shook like a leaf in a storm, uncontrollably and relentlessly, as a full day’s worth of piss finally freed itself from him…

Driven by the successful beginning of his stream, Astarion dared open his eyes just enough to barely see the outlines of his companion’s bodies, unwilling to risk startling himself into stopping the flow.

Just keep focusing on what Halsin is saying… don’t think about anything else…

“All of Oak Father’s creation is beholden to the elements that fill our bodies now – and we are a crucial part of the water’s steady flow. Embrace the divine sensation at the very root of your manhood, the root which runs through your legs and into the very earth below.”

Astarion saw three men – well, two men and a less-than-accurate ghost copy of himself – standing in a semi-circle, their bodies unburdened as they sought their relief together.

All of them – even he himself – shared this need. None were ashamed. None were judgmental of the man next to him. All differences were forgotten, if not momentarily, in lieu of this universal necessity they shared with every other living creature.

There was simply relief. And the sound of water. And the rush of nature. And… trust.

………

… It was only a little piss, after all…

Astarion finally allowed himself a deep, slow exhale, his entire body tingling pleasantly as he pissed and pissed…

“Return it to the earth, my brothers in nature,” Halsin hummed. “And feel connected to the earth and the elements from which you came.”

One of the streams dwindled to a stop, and Astarion immediately felt his stomach drop as his eyes shot down to his cock.

But… he was still going. He couldn’t believe it, but his cock was still pissing…

“Ahhh, what an incredible relief,” Gale said, tucking himself back into his robes after giving himself a little shake. “I hate to admit, I was… beginning to worry I wouldn’t make it, before.”

Gale turned to see Astarion pissing – and had to do a quick double-take, before forcing his gaze away once again.

Astarion – the real one – was pissing! In front of them! Sure, he was as jittery and shaky as he’d ever seen him, but he was actually doing it!

He felt a swell of pride for his friend, and for himself at having helped him achieve the seemingly impossible goal. “I believe we’re done with you, now…” Gale said, his gaze falling on the Mirror Image of Astarion now. “Thank you for your assistance!”

“Eat shit and die, wizard!” Mirror-Astarion said in a deceptively sweet, sing-song tone, as it raised a hand up in a farewell wave. Gale snapped his fingers, and the specter was gone.

~~~
The sound of two streams, now. One was thunderous, as though it came from a beast, and the other… a perfectly normal trickle. Steady as a river.

Halsin continued monologuing, but Astarion couldn’t make out the words – simply allowing the druid’s calming voice to lull his exhausted brain. He felt light-headed, as though his mind was somehow outside of his body entirely.

Fuck, it felt amazing to just go…

The louder, more powerful stream began to waver, now – the rush of liquid trickling to a patter, then a dribble…

“The very last of my waters are joining with the soil, now,” Halsin said. “And as such, I leave my mark on this piece of earth, as a reminder of when my journey brought me to this grassy plain.”

Astarion felt a twinge of panic as his own stream began to dwindle, too… But…

It wasn’t because he was forcing himself to stop… it was because he was… finished…

His jaw dropped in awe as the reality of what he’d done finally hit him, the last droplets of his stream pooling at the tip of his cock, no longer propelled by his muscles but simply holding onto his skin by gravity.

He was empty.

He wiped his eyes furiously with his free hand and choked back a sob. He shook himself dry and tucked his soft prick back into his pants.

….By the gods…. He had done it.

“An incredible job, Astarion,” Halsin said, his massive hand coming down to pat him on the back.

“Couldn’t be prouder of you!” Gale agreed, finally meeting Astarion’s gaze again now that everyone was finished. “How do you feel?”

“I… I’m not sure,” Astarion answered truthfully, eyes glazing over as the maelstrom of his thoughts whirled inside of him. “….Exhausted, I suppose.”

“That makes perfect sense,” Halsin nodded, a broad smile spreading against his face. “You’ve been through a hell of a night. You deserve to take pride in your accomplishment.”

“…Thank you,” Astarion said lamely, still not entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming.

“Now, I think I’ll return to my Wild Shape in the forest to get a good night’s sleep,” Halsin said, his arms stretching up to the stars as he stretched. “I assume you two can find your way back to camp?”

“Goodnight, Halsin!” Gale called to him as the druid began jogging towards the surrounding trees.

It was just Gale and Astarion, now, as they began the short trek back to their tents. For once, Gale found himself unsure as to what to talk about – there was certainly plenty to be said, but for his friend’s sake, he didn’t want to overwhelm him with what was undoubtedly a draining night already.

Don’t mention anything about Astarion… or pissing… or Tav… Gale thought to himself, his alcohol-logged mind going down a list of possible discussion topics.

Astarion, however, was perfectly content with the silence – not that that made any difference to Gale, of course.

“So… um…” Gale began, his mind finally focusing on something he’d been pondering for a while, and especially since their exploits this evening.

“Halsin… uh… Halsin has an… abnormally large penis, right?”

Astarion stopped in his tracks, truly dumbfounded. “….What?”

“It’s not that I was particularly looking, mind you!” Gale said defensively. “It’s just… well, it’s rather hard to miss.”

Astarion let out a long-suffering sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Where is this going, Gale?”

“Nowhere! It’s just… I don’t know, it’s hard not to feel a bit…”

The wizard’s face was bright red now. It was almost charming.

“…lacking, in comparison…” he finished, his voice becoming smaller and smaller with each word. “…I suppose…”

Astarion bit back a laugh – not entirely successfully. “Gale, the man is the size of a boulder. You can hardly compare yourself to him as a normal human.”

“I know! It’s just… I’ve not had as much experience, y’know… as you have…”

Gale was rather wishing he hadn’t said anything at all. “You know what? Nevermind.”

Astarion grabbed Gale’s arm, halting him. “No, it’s alright,” he said, all laughter gone from his tone now. “Go on.”

“It’s just, I’ve only ever really… been with Mystra, in that way…” Gale’s eyes drifted to the ground. “It’s not as though I’ve got an incredible track record to begin with. And when I think about Karlach, and… if we were ever… to…”

Astarion had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling at the poor wizard – Gale really was no more than a schoolboy in matters such as this. Hearing him speak so candidly about it – particularly how uncomfortable it made him – gave him a bizarre, unfamiliar pang of affectionate… sorrow? Pity?

Empathy, Tav would call it. If Tav were here…

“And I don’t know what a typical tiefling male looks like!” Gale explained. “I just… don’t want her to look at me and be… disappointed. That’s all.”

Astarion was tempted, beyond temptation, to make some sort of a joke. To lighten the mood with a clever little quip, and excuse himself for an uninterrupted night of lonely, Tav-less sleep.

But dammit, he knew what it was like to feel unconfident in one’s body. The least he could do was assure Gale his worries were unfounded.

“Gale, she won’t be disappointed, alright? I promise,” Astarion said, pushing the words out all in one breath before he lost his nerve.

Gale’s brow furrowed as he looked at Astarion. “How can you be sure?”

Astarion let out an exasperated grunt. “Because your penis is fine, Gale! More than fine!”

The wizard’s face flushed bright red again, and it was his turn to scratch nervously at his neck. “…I… you… really?”

Astarion rubbed his temple, forcing himself to keep his patience. “I’ve seen tens of thousands of penises, Gale. Yours is perfectly suitable, I assure you.”

Gale began to fidget with his fingers, staring at them intently. “I didn’t realize… you had, um…”

“Well, it’s like you said – it’s not like I was particularly looking!” Astarion insisted. “It’s just, you’ve pissed in front of me several times by now, and old habits die hard and all that…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, the point is – you have nothing to worry about.” He forced himself to meet Gale’s gaze now. “Got it?”

“Oh… I, um… thank you,” Gale said, his cheeks flushing once more.

Astarion ran his fingers through his hair, heat rising on his own face. “Good. Now go to bed, before I change my mind about kicking your ass for meddling in my business.”

They were outside of Gale’s tent, which sat next to Astarion’s tent. But he planned on sleeping in Tav’s tent tonight… He hoped her pillow still smelled like her…

Gale smiled, lifting the flap to enter his tent. “Repeat after me: ‘Thank you for helping me, it was very kind.’”

“Hmmm? Hmmm…” Astarion pursed his lips, the effort of being pleasant to the damnable wizard almost too much to bear after such an eventful day. Finally, he let out a sigh, and forced the words from his lips. “….Thank you for helping me,” he recited sourly. “It was. Very. Kind.”

Gale guffawed at the vampire’s expression. “Good enough – I’ll take it.” He smiled at his friend warmly. “Goodnight, Astarion.”

And with that, the wizard retreated into his tent, leaving Astarion to try to make sense of it all.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Day 21 of Being Friends / Day 5 Without Tav-

For hundreds of years, the orgasm of a sexual partner served one purpose – an obligation.

An end goal, after which Astarion would be able to deliver said partner to his master, and return to his chambers (if Cazador was in a good mood) or the kennels (all the rest of the time).

Sure, having his body fawned over by strangers stroked his ego rather pleasantly – but even that lost all significance after the first several decades. And after so much practice, it was natural that he’d become skilled at sex – specifically, skilled at bringing his partners to orgasm.

His body was his tool, which he used to his advantage to its fullest abilities. His cock would stiffen and remain hard for as long as it was needed, until eventually he would tell his muscles to tense and he would shoot his seed however – and wherever – his partner preferred.

The whole process was as easy to replicate as touching his toes or aiming a dagger.

But then… there was Tav.

Making Tav come… watching her come… gods, hearing her come…

He thought it might possibly be his favorite thing in the entire world.

He wanted her to come, again and again. The little noises she made… especially the way she cried his name. Sometimes she didn’t even make it to the n in Astarion!, before her mouth fell open completely and her eyes rolled back into her head…

And finally, after days without her, she was here. She was home, in his tent.

And gods dammit, he was forced to be her “friend.”

“How about a nice friendly hug?” she grinned, holding her arms wide open for him.

“Missed… you…” Astarion sighed, pulling her up and into him, burying his nose in the nape of her neck.

Tav wrapped her arms around him, sliding her hands down to his waist.

Astarion felt his heart skip a beat.

She was grabbing his cock, now… he was achingly hard.

Gods, he wanted her so badly… She was killing him, actually killing him…

“But... what about being friends?” He huffed breathily, even as his hands grasped desperately at her sides, as though trying to touch all of her at once.

“I’m done being friends,” Tav hissed, and took his bottom lip between her teeth, pulling him forward.

That was all it took for his control to snap.

He kissed her ferociously, grinding his hips into her abdomen so that his hardened cock bobbed between them.

“Do you want me?” Tav whispered coquettishly, sliding her hand down to wrap around it.

“Fuck,” Astarion sighed, eyes rolling back at the feel of her hand on him, separated only by the thin cloth of his smallclothes. “You know I do…”

“Tell me again,” she smiled, unbuttoning his pants.

“I’ve never wanted anyone so much, Tav — ah!”  He gasped as her hand wrapped around his naked cock, wet with precum already.

It always did this around her. After hundreds of years of being able to ejaculate on command, having his cock not in his control was… enigmatic.

He felt the pleasure building at the very root of him, alarmingly quickly…

Astarion wrapped his fingers around her wrist, halting its movement. “W-wait, darling, not yet… I don’t want to rush this…”

He brought her nipple between his lips, flicking it with his tongue just how he knew she liked.

He grasped the waist of her pants and pulled them down in one quick motion, and brought his fingers to the apex of her thighs, pressing into the silky wetness between the lips of her cunt.

“So wet for me, aren’t you?” he crooned, glancing up at her from beneath his eyelashes.

She let out a little whine, her tits bouncing as she exhaled.

Unable to resist, his mouth covered her nipple once again, his fingers continuing to massage her sensitive nub. He reached his other hand up to cup her other breast, earning him another whine and her fingers tangling into his hair.

“Gods…” Tav whimpered. “Stop, I’m… already… close…”

His lips spread into a smile as he suckled her, but he continued his movements.

“…Ast…Astarion, wait…” Her voice was rising in pitch now…

“It’s okay, my love…” he sighed, relishing every second of her pleasure. “You can come… there will be more where that came from…”

He slid his fingers past her nub and onto the very edge of her entrance, juuuust shy of slipping inside, where she needed him most…

“Is that what you were going to say, darling?” he murmured sultrily, bringing his lips up from her breast to the cusp of her ear. He slid the very tip of his finger in, and felt a swell of pride as her quim clenched around it, as though begging for more. “That you’re going to come?”

Tav let out a squeal as he pushed his finger fully inside her now, his thumb coming up to stroke her nub.

“I want you to come for me, Tav…” he hummed encouragingly, flicking her nipple in time with his finger’s thrusts. “I want it so bad…”

Just as he pushed a second finger into her, he felt her entire body quaking against him, the hot center of her clenching around him as she came. Wave after wave after wave, as she let out an incredible, shuddering cry, her voice sweet and breathy.

And then he opened his eyes--

...and he was alone in her tent.

Humping his pillow like a randy teenager, covered in his own spend.

What a mess she’s made of you… he thought, reluctantly forcing himself out of the bedroll.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Day 21 of Being Friends / Day 5 Without Tav-

The next morning, Astarion wasn’t quite able to meet Halsin’s eye – and the druid was beginning to feel a bit affronted.

Since the beginning of their travels, Astarion had spent most of his free time at camp lounging about and sunning himself like a lizard on a rock, but on this particular day, the vampire seemed to be going out of his way to avoid all of them. This was strange, especially since they had made such progress the day prior…

Finally, just as the sun was at its highest point in the sky and Astarion was nowhere to be seen, Halsin grew worried enough to approach the vampire’s tent. “Astarion?”

The vampire’s voice called back almost immediately, sounding put off at having been interrupted, with a twinge of… guilt? “Yes? What is it?”

“May I… er, come in?”

“If you must,” the voice responded despondently.

Halsin tried to position himself into a small enough position to fit into the opening of the tent – then, finally determining he was more likely to uproot it from its stakes, decided against it.

“It, ah, might actually be safer for your tent if you were to join me out here,” he concluded.

“Fine, hang on,” Astarion answered begrudgingly, followed by the sound of rummaging about.

Finally, the vampire emerged, a small crate of soiled linens under his arm. “What is it?” he asked, the tiniest hint of pink rising to his cheeks.

“Are you alright? You’ve seemed… oddly, er, stand-offish today.”

“Today?” Astarion chuckled, pursing his lips. “You really must not be paying much attention, darling.”

“Moreso than usual, then,” Halsin conceded with a smile in his voice, keeping the mood light.

“I’m fine, thank you,” Astarion said, allowing his proud façade to crack at the druid’s kind concern. “Just coming to terms with how little control I truly have over this body of mine. Even now…”

Halsin’s brow furrowed in concern. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve failed already, alright?” Astarion seethed – so quietly that Halsin was certain a normal human wouldn’t have been able to hear.

“’Failed?’ How do you mean?” Halsin prodded gently. Astarion had made remarkable progress even just in their short time together without the women – why the sudden bout of apparent self-loathing?

“With what you said yesterday,” Astarion’s gaze drifted to the crate of laundry.

Halsin was completely lost, now. He didn’t remember even mentioning laundry the day before…

“Gods dammit, Halsin!” the vampire hissed. “Must I spell it out for you?”

“Would you?” Halsin raised an eyebrow. “I’m afraid I’m not following.”

Astarion made a noise of disgust, his face twisting into a grimace as though it pained him to speak. “I… I had a dream, this morning… about Tav and I…”

Halsin gave a small nod, urging him to continue. “Another nightmare?”

“No,” Astarion huffed, staring intently at the ground. “A… a good dream… A very good dream…” The twinge of pink on the vampire’s face darkened. “And when I woke up… I had…”

A glimmer of realization crossed the giant man’s face, now, as the druid finally seemed to understand.

Halsin found himself at a bit of a loss – he had certainly had this conversation many times before over the years, as a mentor and father figure to the young lads in the Grove, but he couldn’t remember ever having it with someone of Astarion’s age…

“Well, that’s…” Halsin searched for the words he’d used many times before. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of, Astarion. It’s simply a part of a man’s nature – his body reacting in his sleep.” He cleared his throat. “It – ah – happens to all men, at some point—”

“By the hells, I know what a wet dream is, Halsin,” Astarion groaned impatiently, rubbing his temple as he fought off a raging headache.

Halsin let out a sigh of relief. “Then what’s the problem?”

“The problem,” Astarion muttered through clenched teeth, “is that I’ve already failed at what you suggested I do, yesterday. One simple thing, and I couldn’t do it.” He snarled. “And I wasn’t even conscious for it!”

Finally, the meaning of Astarion’s words clicked into place. “Oh – oh, you mean because of the –”

It was true – Halsin had told Astarion to avoid orgasming, in order to allow him and Tav to embrace their sexuality without premeditated expectations. But he’d meant with Tav specifically – by the hells, a man couldn’t completely do without --

A good-natured laugh escaped him, before he could stop it – then, seeing the look of fury this earned him from the vampire, he held his hands up in surrender. “I apologize, Astarion – I’m not laughing at you. It seems I have failed to explain myself properly, and for that I’m sorry.”

Astarion said nothing – just stared at him warily, waiting for him to continue.

“I merely meant that you should avoid… er, completion… with Tav. For the time being,” Halsin explained. “You could no more deny that part of your nature completely than you could go without air or water.”

Astarion blinked. “I… see.” He cleared his throat, and forced a sickeningly-sweet smile on his face. “Well! How kind of you to clarify.”

Halsin gave Astarion a pat on the shoulder. “But even so, you mustn’t be so hard on yourself, even if it were to happen with Tav. My suggestion was more of a guideline than an absolute rule, carved in stone. Keep yourself from coming, if at all possible, and don’t allow your bodies to join together.” He thought for a moment. “I would even suggest avoiding genital contact altogether, for the first night, but that’s easier said than done of course…”

Astarion still seemed unconvinced, judging by the way he nervously shuffled his feet.

“Please, my friend – have the grace to be more forgiving of yourself. Nobody’s perfect, after all. I can’t even say I’d be able to stick to the guidelines myself, if I were in your position…”

Finally, Astarion’s lips quirked upward – not quite a smile, but the semblance of a smile nonetheless.

“Besides,” Halsin added with a knowing glance. “Tav will be coming home soon, and… well, absence makes the heart grow fonder, as they say…” He laughed. “You may find yourself having to, er… take matters into your own hands, so to speak.”

Astarion groaned. “Yes, thank you, Halsin. I understand.”

“Good,” Halsin smiled, turning on his heel and calling over his shoulder. “I’ll leave you to your laundry, then.”

~~~

As Wyll tended his vegetable garden – much to the bemusement of his companions, the warlock who specialized in necrotic magic had quite the green thumb – he couldn’t help but glance over at Astarion, who lay listlessly in his hammock, staring up at the sky for what had to have been some sort of record.

Damn… I didn’t know it was possible to look so miserable in a hammock, he thought.

Wyll had never seen the vampire so gloomy, but each passing day without Tav seemed to gradually suck the enthusiasm right out of him.

“He’s a man in love,” Halsin reasoned, dropping off a barrel of fresh soil as though it were filled with feathers. “And to think, Tav hasn’t even been gone a tenday.”

Wyll nodded, wiping his brow. “I’d hate to see him after a month apart – he might start running into wooden stakes on purpose.”

Astarion heard them – he just couldn’t be bothered to respond.

“I… I do wonder, though…” Wyll lowered his voice, likely assuming – incorrectly – that Astarion couldn’t hear him. “Tav is… mortal, correct?”

“Yes,” Halsin responded solemnly.

The unspoken words hung heavily in the air between them.

Everything in Astarion’s entire being sank into despair at the silent implication.

Someday, even in the best-case scenario, Tav’s life would come to a natural end – and Astarion would be left behind.

Would he spend the rest of his days like this, moping around joylessly, waiting for the brief reprieve of sleep before his cursed consciousness returned to him, day after endless day?

Wyll’s heart ached for the pale elf’s plight. “Is there… is there no way for her to become a vampire as well, or something?” he whispered. “If she chose to, of course…”

“I must admit, I don’t know exactly how it works,” Halsin responded, “but I believe a vampire spawn is incapable of turning another soul into a vampire… so, unless Tav became a spawn herself…”

Astarion bit the inside of his cheek so hard he tasted blood, but he gave no other indication that he could hear them.

Tav would never become a vampire spawn – would never suffer the endless hunger. And he would be damned to the nine hells before he let Cazador bite her…

Not that he would want to doom her to eternal life, anyway. She didn’t deserve that torment.

Astarion felt well and truly hopeless – not for the first time, certainly, but perhaps for the first time since joining Tav on her travels.

What’s the point, really… he thought to himself, watching the few sparse clouds make their way across the sky.

And if they were all doomed to become brain-sucking mind flayers anyway, well… at least he could treasure the fleeting time they had left together.

He crossed his arm in front of his eyes and allowed his mind to drift away completely, his companion’s hushed whispers fading from his cognition.

~~~

-Several Hours Later -

“Haha! Incredibly done!” Gale’s voice sounded triumphant from somewhere outside Astarion’s tent – no doubt congratulating himself on a new spell of some sort.

Astarion peeked his head outside of the tent disinterestedly.

Gale was holding his fingers up to his temple, eyes closed. “I’m sure you ladies were a sight to behold!” the wizard said cheerfully.

Astarion felt his stomach flutter – he must be talking to Tav! Through that bizarre magic-wizard-wave-connection thing of theirs. And it seemed to be good news!

He had to restrain himself from rushing out and asking a thousand questions; he didn’t dare break Gale’s concentration.

“Well, don’t exhaust yourself, conserve your magic. I will tell everyone. Safe travels, my friend!”

“Is she alright? Where are they? Are they coming home soon?” Astarion asked impatiently, directly in front of Gale in a matter of seconds.

“Everyone’s fine! The hag is defeated and the child was saved!” Gale beamed. “She said they’ll be heading back this way tomorrow, and be home in a few days!”

“Oh, thank gods!” Astarion sighed, smiling so wide his cheeks ached.

Only a few more days, and she would be here.

Tav would be home. With him. Alive and healthy and beautiful and—

“She sounded a bit in her cups, actually!” Gale chuckled. “I believe they may have gotten into the wine to celebrate. You know how Tav gets when she’s liquored up – extra giggly, and all that.”

Astarion felt a sudden, roiling pit of anger at the pit of his stomach.

He hadn’t liked that at all…

“How lucky you are to have unlimited access to her, Gale,” he sneered, the false smile on his face belied by the rage in his eyes.

He was making an ass of himself, and he knew it. Even as he said the words, he knew he was being unreasonable. But the way the wizard had talked about Tav just now – the fond familiarity in his voice…

Not to mention the fact that he could just talk to her, whenever he wanted – no matter how far away she was, so long as she connected to The Weave.

It was hideously unfair. And it wasn’t even Gale’s fault.

But, by the hells, Astarion hated him for it.

“Well, I… I wouldn’t say that,” Gale said cautiously, wary at Astarion’s sudden shift in mood. “Being able to communicate through The Weave is hardly ‘unlimited access.’”

“Do you really think you know her better than me? Just because you both share some bizarre wizard-brain postal service?” Astarion asked derisively. “You think you can talk to me about what she’s like in her cups?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, Astarion – honestly,” Gale tried his best to keep his voice soothing, but it seemed as though it wasn’t working.

“She falls asleep in my arms every night, wizard,” Astarion took a step closer, eyes smoldering. “I have tasted every part of her, seen every inch of her.”

“I know!” Gale sounded exasperated now. “Gods, really, Astarion? You can’t really be jealous! Of me!” Gale held his hands up towards himself, as though for emphasis.

“I’m not jealous!” Astarion lied furiously.

“Then you’re just acting like an arsehole for no reason, then!” Gale spat back. “Worse than usual!”

“You think I don’t see the way you all look at her? How everyone turns to look at her, wherever we go!? Do you really expect me to believe you’ve never even wanted to touch her while in the—” he waggled his fingers in a mocking caricature of spellcasting, wavering his voice insultingly, “weeeeeaaave of yours?”

Gale avoided taking the bait – irked though he was at Astarion’s insulting depiction. “Don’t get me wrong, Tav is beautiful! But I’ve never –” Gale stopped himself now, thinking of one particular instance. Then, deciding full transparency would be most appreciated with regard to these matters: “I mean, except the one time I walked in on her changing—”

“WHAT?!” Astarion seethed, nostrils flaring, widening his stance like a panther about to pounce.

Gale gulped. Ah. Perhaps that had been a poorly-timed factoid.

“On accident!” Gale insisted. “I mean, I didn’t see much, I ran out after a few seconds—”

“A few seconds?!” Astarion hissed in utter disbelief, vision blurring in his fury.

“I was in shock!” Gale reasoned desperately. Then, for the sake of honesty: “I mean, I’m just a man, after all, but—”

Judging by Astarion’s expression, that bit of honesty was also a poorly-timed factoid.

“I mean, no! That doesn’t mean I was lingering! I was out of there immediately, and I told Tav I was sorry, and – hells, she’s my best friend, Astarion!”

Astarion’s anger was getting the better of him, but he couldn’t stop himself. “She’s mine,” He growled, lips pulling back to bare his fangs, “Do you hear me, wizard?”

“It truly was an accident, Astarion! You know how I feel about Karlach!”

“I know!” Astarion said through clenched teeth, furious at himself as much as Gale. Then, taking a moment to let his friend’s words sink in, he lowered his head repentantly. “...I know.”

The panic on Gale’s face was replaced with… concern? Pity? Chagrin? “We all know the two of you are in love. But you can’t have all of her, Astarion. That’s not what love is. Or you’re no better than…”

The wizard’s voice trailed off, out of respect. But Astarion knew exactly what he was going to say. Cazador.

Astarion pulled his hand through his hair and sighed miserably. “You’re right, gods dammit.”

He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts, then met Gale’s gaze. “I’m sorry, alright?” He crossed his arms petulantly and made a noise of disgust. “I’m not used to caring about people – it’s fucking awful!”

Gale let out a bemused huff. “Well, the rest of us will certainly be happy to have Tav back too – not just because she’s our fearless leader, but because you’re a real terror without her.”

Without her.

Wyll’s concerned whisper from earlier echoed through his head.

“Tav is… mortal, correct?”

To Astarion’s absolute mortification, he burst into tears at Gale’s words – as it all became too much.

Because he would be without her, someday – one way or another. Even if they didn’t meet some terrible fate together, she would age… become frail, wither away, while he would be left to roam the miserable world without her.

How truly horrible, to worry so much about someone else. What an incredible burden love was.

“Merlin’s beard!” Gale gasped contritely, genuinely alarmed at the vampire’s wildly undulating emotions. “I was joking, Astarion!”

“No, no!” Astarion waved a dismissive hand, furiously wiping his eyes with the other. “It’s just… I don’t know, I’ve never even thought about what might happen if we actually… defeat Cazador.” He sniffled pitifully, cheeks burning with shame. “I’ve never cared enough for anyone to give a damn whether or not they’d eventually die…”

Die? Gale blinked. Who said anything about dying?

Understanding slowly washed over Gale’s face, and he nodded slowly. “…Ah.”

What could he possibly say to assuage his friend’s worries? Time waited for no soul, after all… at least, no mortal soul.

“…We’ll just have to find a way to make her immortal, then,” Gale suggested finally, as though he were advising him on which pair of shoes to wear.

Astarion groaned, and squeezed the bridge of his nose, forcing himself to regain his composure. “Oh, is that all? Simple, then. Silly me.”

“Hey, someone eventually came along and made you immortal, right? So it can certainly be done, if that’s what Tav chooses… assuming we don’t all become mind flayers, of course.”

Astarion nodded. “Yes, yes, I’m being ridiculous.” He made a disgusted noise in his throat, as though he’d stepped on something vile. “I’ve cried more this past tenday than in the past twenty years. Literally… I must truly be falling apart.”

“Growth of any kind is painful,” Gale smiled gently.

Astarion hung his head in his hands and said nothing, chest quaking in silent sobs.

“…I fear I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion,” Gale said after a moment.

At that, Astarion lifted his head and finally forced his watery eyes to meet Gale’s gaze.

“One heartbreak was quite enough for me… but to experience it as many times as you have must change a person.”

Astarion sniffled, taken aback. He’d been an absolute beast to Gale, and still he was offering him such words of encouragement…

“Thank you… Gale,” he sighed, forcing the words from his throat. “Let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.”

His voice sounded more optimistic than he felt.

“Ugh, and I’ve been an ogre,” Astarion groaned. “I’m sorry, Gale, truly. You’ve been nothing but kind to me and I’ve fought you every step of the way,” Astarion felt a wave of self-loathing. “I’m sorry I’m so quick to pick a fight.”

“That’s alright, mate. No harm done. Hells, even brothers fight sometimes.”

Astarion was deeply moved at his words – but he didn’t dare try to speak, for fear he would start crying all over again. Gods, he was exhausted… and he’d done nothing all day. Pathetic.

Gale just gave him a little smile. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think we’d better start cleaning up camp – the women always say we’re useless at housekeeping, and there’ll be no living with them if we prove how right they are.”

Upon seeing the tiny smile this comment brought to Astarion’s face, Gale was gracious enough to walk away, humming pleasantly.

~~~

Several hours of vigorous cleaning later – after Halsin and Wyll had heard of the women’s imminent return, they had all begged Withers to pitch in as well – and the camp looked… well, better.

Fuck it, we’ll do the rest of it tomorrow.

Now, after taking a refreshing dip in the river – he truly loved crossing flowing water, after all these years – Astarion was headed back to his tent.

“Astarion!”

Just as he was about to enter his tent, Gale’s ever-cheerful voice interrupted his mission to flop onto his bedroll and forget the whole damned day.

Astarion stifled a groan – he really didn’t want to be mean to Gale, but he made it incredibly difficult sometimes…

“I’ve got something for you!” Gale stated proudly.

“Ugh, I’m flattered, my dear wizard, but I don’t think I can handle any more of your gifts tonight,” Astarion declined gently.

“Oh, you’ll want this one!” Gale held aloft a rolled-up parchment, as though brandishing a priceless jewel.

Astarion sighed, utterly exhausted. “Gale, please–”

“It will let you talk to Tav!” Gale interrupted.

At that, Astarion was as rejuvenated as if he’d downed an entire Potion of Speed. Gale smirked; that had certainly shut him up.

“Really?” Astarion pressed eagerly. “How?”

“It’s a Scroll of Detect Thoughts,” Gale explained. “I give it to you, and then you cast it on me to read my mind! Then I can contact Tav through The Weave, and you should be able to hear her!”

“Fantastic!” Astarion was practically giddy as he unrolled the scroll and eyed the incantation. “Virtus est scientia!” he read, holding his hand out towards Gale.

Bright, sparkling magic shot from the scroll and disappeared as it reached Gale’s head. And for a moment, nothing happened.

…Did it work? Gale’s voice filled Astarion’s mind.

“I heard you!” Astarion said aloud, elated. “Perfect – now get Tav on The Weave!”

Absolutely! Gale thought. And then, the sound of rushing wind – so loud that Astarion winced in pain, covering his ears instinctively, even though the sound was directly in his head.

After several moments, the sound was gone, as suddenly as it came.

“Hi Gale!” Tav’s sweet little voice filled their minds – and Astarion felt his heart squeeze.

He felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, at the sound of her voice…

In their minds’ eye, they saw the world exactly as Tav did: she was in a large, rocky spring just outside of The Blighted Village, working a lotion up into a bubbly lather. She was surrounded by the other women – all obviously naked – each holding a mug or wineglass.

Their bodies were flushed, and steam rose from the water – likely heated by Karlach’s engine.

Gale and Astarion both felt their cheeks flood with heat.

“Oh sorry!” Tav squealed, vision going black suddenly. “I’d better close my eyes, huh?”

She giggled – she was indeed more than a little drunk, from the sound of it. It was so damnably cute.

“Good evening, Tav!” Gale greeted enthusiastically. “I’ve got Astarion here using Detect Thoughts – he wanted to congratulate you on defeating the hag!”

Astarion felt a fluttering in his stomach, oddly nervous for some reason. “Can you hear me, Tav?” he asked aloud.

“Yes!” Tav squeaked in delight. “Hi, darling!”

Astarion’s chest ached – gods, he missed her. His breath caught in his throat, and he had to let out a cough to keep his voice steady. “Hello, my sweet. Miss me?” he asked coyly.

“Of course I miss you!” Tav’s voice was bright and joyful. “I’ve been sleeping with Plonk every night – I hope you’re not jealous.”

Tears welled in his closed eyes as he pictured her snuggled up with the little plush he’d given her, wishing it was him.

“How dare you!” he gasped in mock horror. “You tell that owlbear bastard that I have a bone to pick with him when he gets back.”

Tav laughed – the sound of bells.

Astarion squeezed his fists, wishing desperately he could be holding her in his arms…

“ARE YOU TALKING TO GALE ON THE WEAVE?” Karlach’s drunken voice shouted in Tav’s direction. “HIIIIII GALE!”

Gale felt his heart skip a beat – she had asked about him – Karlach was thinking of him!

Astarion smiled to himself – the poor wizard really had it bad for Karlach.

“H-Hello, Karlach!” Gale greeted, sounding decidedly less confident than when he’d been speaking to Tav. “You, ah, enjoying your victory celebration?”

“WE SMASHED THAT HAG TO SMITHEREENS!” Karlach boasted. “She was a PUDDLE OF GOO by the time we were done with her!”

Gale chuckled breathily. “I’m… sure she was!” Then, as though taking a moment to gather his courage: “Camp has been, ah… unpleasantly quiet without you.”

Karlach giggled – actually giggled – back at him. “AW, D’YOU MISS ME, GALE?”

Astarion had to stifle his own laughter at the flutter this caused in Gale’s chest. Poor bastard…

“…Indeed!” Gale admitted. “I – er, we, all of us – we’ll be very happy to see you ladies back safely at camp!”

Before Karlach could respond, Shadowheart’s warbly voice interjected, along with a little splash.

“Gods, look at the way Tav’s breasts practically float on top of the water!” she whined. “It’s not fair!”

Astarion and Gale both felt their hearts skip a beat, completely at a loss for words.

Astarion found himself very much wishing Tav would open her eyes – then, remembering Gale would also see everything she saw, decided it was better that she didn’t.

Tav’s emphatic voice filled their minds once more: “Your breasts are beautiful, Shadowheart! I could gaze at them all day and never tire of them! I could write a full opera about their perfect shape!”

Astarion and Gale both felt their cocks begin to tingle at the tantalizing description… not to mention the imagined beauty of the women surrounding each other, naked and unashamed, delighting in one another’s bodies without judgment…

“Bah!” Jaheira’s voice, accent heavy with drink, joined the fray. “Come to me after 150 years and then complain about how your breasts look! Foolish girls…”

The sound of more wine being poured, now. “Ch’k!” Lae’zel cursed. “The Githyanki believe that the female form only gets finer, more sexual, more desirable with time, like a fine vintage.” Her voice adopted a sultry tone. “Yours is no exception, Jaheira.”

“Mmmm…” the older woman hummed flirtatiously. “I never took you Githyanki for such sweet-talkers…”

“There’s much you don’t know, I’m sure…” Lae’zel crooned. “For one thing: never send a man in to do a woman’s job.”

Astarion cleared his throat, if nothing else to remind the women of their presence. “What, ah… What are you ladies up to, anyway?”

He and Gale were both having quite a tough time keeping themselves in check, with all this talk of women and their breasts…

“Enjoying this lovely natural spring!” Tav answered. “We took all our clothes off to get the muck off, but then we saw we were filthy beneath the clothes too…”

“We’re using this incredible bubble salve that Tav brought!” Shadowheart added. “And Karlach is keeping the water nice and hot for us.”

Karlach let out an enthusiastic whooping sound. “YES, GALE, you HAVE to try this stuff when we get home! It feels delicious on your naked skin, I’ve had to have the girls spread it on my back for me three times already.”

Gale’s prick was hard as a rock at her words, his mind absolutely floundering for a response. Astarion had to physically cover his mouth to stop himself from guffawing.

“Ah! I – w-wow! Lovely! Sounds great! I’ll bring my rubber ducky!” He stuttered stupidly.

Good one! Astarion thought to Gale.

Fuck off, came Gale’s hushed response.

“Come here, Tav…” Karlach’s voice was a bit closer to Tav’s ear, now. “You said I could do you next.”

“Ah, okay!” Tav answered sweetly. “Just… be gentle, okay? I bruise like a peach.”

Astarion felt his own cock throb with hot, aching want.

Serves you right, Gale shot back to him – although he was in no better state, picturing Karlach enthusiastically rubbing up against the other women…

“We’ll see you later, guys! Tell Halsin and Wyll we said hi!” Tav said finally, as though she’d briefly forgotten the two men were listening. “We’ll be back in two day’s time, I’d imagine!”

Astarion felt a pang of longing  - it couldn’t come soon enough. “Be safe, darling,” he said earnestly.

“I love you,” Tav chirped.

And suddenly, silence.

“….Well,” Astarion said finally, as the two men opened their eyes. “They seem to be… in good spirits.”

“Quite so!” Gale agreed, attempting to adjust his robes in a way that wasn’t immediately obvious. It didn’t matter, though – Astarion was no better off, his cock straining against his pants.

“But, before we, ah, go our separate ways for the evening…” Gale began, “there is one more thing I wanted to show you, before the spell wears off.”

Astarion groaned, but nodded reluctantly – he hardly wanted to eavesdrop on whatever imaginings Gale was likely to dream up as soon as they were alone in their respective tents. “Go on, then.”

They closed their eyes once more – and in an instant, Astarion was seeing a memory through Gale’s eyes.

“Tav!” Gale’s voice, murky with the passage of time, filled his mind. “I’ve got some most exciting news about our trek to Baldur’s Gate!”

He stopped briefly in front of Tav’s tent, eyes searching around the campfire for her before calling her name again. “Tav?”

Astarion felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. This must have been the incident Gale had let slip about earlier…

Unable to contain his excitement, and urged by a faint rustling sound inside the tent, Gale slipped inside the flap of the tent’s entrance --

And froze in place, his eyes going wide as he found her.

Tav was naked, except for a thin pair of underwear – she appeared to be getting dressed after bathing herself. Her hands held a towel to her head as she dried her hair, a few wet strands dangling free from its confines and coming to graze her naked breasts.

Her naked breasts, which were on full display – her soft pink nipples straining against the chill of the air. With each subtle movement of her arms, they jiggled against her slight frame.

Gale felt a rush of blood to his cock, mouth hanging open stupidly like a fish as he stared at her – his mind absolutely blank.

“AGH!” Tav let out a little cry of distress as she noticed Gale’s unexpected presence, and crossed her hands in front of her chest. “Gale!”

That snapped him out of his trance, and he tore his eyes away from her, bringing his hands up to shield his eyes. “I, I’m sorry!” he insisted, feeling a bit light-headed as his cheeks flushed with shame. “I didn’t mean to – I thought you were – S-Sorry!”

He tripped over his own feet as he turned to flee, knocking over several of her belongings in the process.

Gale’s chest heaved, eyes blinking in the bright sun as he dashed from the tent. Immediately, he felt his chest clench with guilt. “I’m SORRY, Tav! Truly sorry! Gods, I didn’t know you were – I wouldn’t have –”

“It’s alright, Gale,” Tav’s voice was exasperated, but supportive. Gentle.

“It was an accident, Tav, I swear!” Gale insisted, wringing his hands anxiously. “I would never… without a lady’s permission –”

“It’s alright, Gale,” Tav repeated, coming up behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Is everything okay?”

He turned to face her, relieved that she had wrapped herself in a dressing gown. “I, um… I had something to tell you, but I’m afraid… it’s slipped my mind.”

Tav’s brow furrowed in concern, even as a smile pricked at her lips. “Tell me later, when you’ve thought of it again.”

“Right! Yes.” Gale cleared his throat, his face still hot with shame. “I’m… really very sorry, Tav.”

“It’s hardly the end of the world, Gale,” Tav said dismissively, making her way back into her tent. “We’ll just call it a fluke of camp life.”

And with that, Gale opened his eyes, the memory cutting off.

Astarion couldn’t help but be touched that Gale had gone through such effort on his behalf – not only to allow him to use The Weave with Tav, but also that he had cared enough to ease his foolish jealousy.

“You… didn’t have to show me that, you know,” Astarion admitted finally. “I was out of line, earlier…”

“I know,” Gale smiled. “But I wanted you to know I was serious, about it being an accident.” He was quiet for a moment, searching for the right words. “I love Tav, I truly do. And she’s… she’s a beautiful woman, of course. But she’s my best friend – and that’s all.” Gale’s gaze glazed over a bit, as though in deep thought. “My heart… belongs to someone else, as you know.”

Astarion felt a swell of affection for the clumsy, well-meaning wizard.

“You’re… you’re a good friend, Gale.” Astarion said with a blush, a smile spreading across his face.

“You’re not terrible yourself, all things considered,” Gale let out a huff of laughter, slightly flummoxed at the rare moment of sincerity from the vampire.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Gale added, turning towards his own tent now.

“Oh gods,” Astarion groaned with a smirk. “What now?”

“You’re doing the dishes tomorrow,” Gale reminded him. “Good night, Astarion.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

Tav was practically beaming after her surprise communication with Astarion and Gale – The Weave truly was an incredible asset.

Even just hearing Astarion’s voice had had an immediate effect on her – in more ways than one. Her heart fluttered in her chest – a flutter that travelled all the way down to the very core of her. An effect only amplified by the wine, fragrant bubbles, and beautiful surrounding company, of course.

Talking with him had made her body physically ache to hold him – as though the universe was playing a cruel trick on her, her ears convinced he would wrap his arms around her any second…

“Gale is so into you, Karlach, it’s ridiculous,” Shadowheart grinned.

“I know!” Jaheira agreed assuredly. “I keep telling her that, but she doesn’t listen!”

Tav was thankful for the welcome distraction from her pathetic pining, but was forced to hold her tongue – as much as she would love for Gale and Karlach to get together, she didn’t want to betray Gale’s trust.

Much as she might like to scream “He’s in love with you, you tit! Go ride his wizard prick into the sunset!” she refrained from doing so – for the same reason she avoided telling Gale “She’s obviously head over heels for you too, you pontificating, sweet, moronic man! She’s able to be touched now, so go kiss her, gods dammit!”

But Tav had remarkable self-restraint. Just ask Astarion…

“You’re out of your gourd!” Karlach shook her head, smiling brightly. “Genius booky-types like Gale never go for the brawny muscle-girls. He would run out of things to talk about with me after five minutes.”

“Ch’k,” Lae’zel waved her hand dismissively. “I’ve seen the two of you prattle on long enough to know that’s not the case. I’m with them – I think he likes you.”

Tav bit her lip. “I think so too,” she agreed, and left it at that.

Lae’zel continued, pouring herself more wine: “I recommend you wear that outfit we got at Carm’s Garms, when we get home – his reaction should tell you everything you need to know.” She grinned. “You should take your pick of the men now that you’re able to be touched again.”

“I don’t know,” Karlach’s smile faded, the playful tone morphing into a slightly more doubtful one. “I might still burn them…”

“You won’t,” Tav reassured her, squeezing Karlach’s arm and smiling gently. “You’re a little warm, sure, but not at all painful! Your skin feels wonderful now – and it’s so gorgeous!”

“Besides, you’ll only burn one part of him, if anything,” Jaheira reasoned with a shrug, ever the devil’s advocate.

More laughter, now – even from Karlach, who seemed reencouraged at her friends’ words.

“Wyll’s always an option, now that he’s a devil as well. Higher heat resistance and all that,” Lae’zel sipped her wine, her face as unaffected as if she were comparing two weapons at a blacksmith. “Now that he no longer wants to murder you, I mean.”

Jaheira quirked her head to the side. “True, Wyll’s very handsome. And from what I’ve seen of the outline of his breeches, he’s got some formidable equipment…”

“Halsin’s got probably the biggest cock I’ve ever seen,” Shadowheart hummed conspiratorially, her voice slurring a bit from the drink. “Can’t help but be curious what it’d be like to ride it…”

Lae’zel nodded enthusiastically. “I have to admit, it looked pretty intimidating – even for me.”

“I KNOW!” Tav squealed drunkenly. “I had to keep myself from openly staring at it, but since Astarion was right there I didn’t want him to get jealous,” she giggled.

Astarion was more than large enough for her tastes – she imagined Halsin would likely rip a woman in half…

“Wait – you’ve all seen Halsin’s dick?” Karlach prodded quizzically.

“Oh right, you and Jaheira weren’t with us!” Shadowheart recalled. “It was when we went to the wine festival.”

“We all had to pee really bad, and they only had four privies for the entire festival,” Tav explained to Jaheira. “But Karlach stayed with our bags at the table.”

“Can you believe they only had four privies!?” Shadowheart still sounded offended. “I almost wet my armor!”

“Knickers, I believe Wyll called them,” Lae’zel teased, earning her a retaliatory splash from Shadowheart.

“We ended up sneaking into a garden shed,” Tav continued, “and we all pissed in an empty crate.”

“Ughhhhh… I miss all the fun,” Karlach pouted.

“It wasn’t particularly entertaining, so much as frustrating,” Lae’zel huffed. “I usually prefer seeing men’s cocks doing other things, besides pissing.” Then, sending Jaheira a flirtatious glance, “…when I get the rare craving for men, that is.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing, then,” Karlach smirked before taking a swig of her wine. “Nothing I like more than seeing a man squirm.”

Shadowheart’s jaw dropped, eyes widening. She looked absolutely gobsmacked, but delighted.

Karlach giggled coyly at Shadowheart’s response. “No, really! Take it from me, it’s one of the only few things you can enjoy with a cock, when you’re unable to touch them,” she reasoned. “Although I’ve always enjoyed a good fuck on a full bladder as well – even back in Avernus.”

“OH MY GODS!!!” Shadowheart cried out again, smacking Karlach’s arm playfully. “I had no idea you were so kinky!”

Karlach laughed heartily now, but looked genuinely surprised as she looked around the bubbling spring. “Have none of you ever done the deed on a full bladder? It feels incredible – presses against all the good spots, in the best way. For the men, too.”

“But what if you accidentally piss on him?” Jaheira laughed incredulously, an expression of “now I’ve heard everything” appearing on her face.

“Or he pisses on you?” Shadowheart added, squealing with laughter.

Tav couldn’t help but join in.

Karlach shrugged. “All the better. It’s just a little yellow water. And it all comes from the same cock,” she added with a wink.

“If a man pissed on me, it would be the last thing he ever did…” Lae’zel said with a haughty smirk.

“But Halsin almost did piss on us!” Shadowheart reminded her emphatically. “Remember?”

“Us?” Jaheira raised an eyebrow at Lae’zel cheekily.

“Lae’zel was the one who ripped open the crate and started to piss into it first – but I had to share, or I was really gonna wet myself!” Shadowheart buzzed. “And then, right when Lae’zel was finishing up, Halsin begged us to make room for him because—” and here, she lowered her voice and furrowed her brow in a rather spot-on Halsin impression, “I can’t take it anymore, it’s coming out!”

Karlach’s mouth hung open. “Gods dammit! I can’t believe I missed this!”

“And as I was getting off the crate,” Lae’zel added, “he charged past me with his bear-sized prick dripping on the floor.” She chuffed. Then, in a rare moment of empathy: “I wasn’t really angry at the time, though. He apologized, of course – there was simply no other option, I think.”

“It sounded like a fucking waterfall!” Shadowheart shrieked with tipsy joy, cheeks flushing to a pretty pink at the memory.

“Ugh, jeez!” Tav sighed, pulling her hair up off her shoulders, “why is the water getting so much hotter?”

“Sorry,” Karlach sighed, the flames beneath her skin glowing hotter than usual. “I’m just kicking myself for staying with the damned table…”

They were all sent into peals of laughter at that.

Tav couldn’t believe it – Gale had actually been self-conscious about his small bladder, particularly in front of Karlach.

Gods, if he only knew…

~~~

-Day 23 of Being Friends / Day 7 Without Tav-

“Gale… Gale!”

Tav’s voice startled him out of a deep sleep – from the looks of the limited light peeking in through his tent, it was still early morning…

“Mystra’s mercy, don’t you know not to summon a wizard on The Weave before the sun comes up?” Gale grumbled internally, rubbing his eyes.

“Sorry! But we’re almost home – we’ll be within the vicinity of a transportation spell soon. I need you to do me a favor.”

“Of course, dear,” Gale yawned. “And you’re quite sure it can’t wait a few more hours?”

“I need you to help me pull a little prank on Astarion!” she insisted.

“Ah… Certainly, then. Why didn’t you say so?”

~~~
Astarion had spent the last two days watching the horizon, surveying the perimeters of their campsite under the guise of “hunting.” Straining his eyes at every perceived distant movement – eagerly awaiting Tav’s return.

He had also spent the last two days trying desperately to look as though he wasn’t watching the horizon for every distant movement – which he had failed at miserably, if you were to ask his campmates.

“Driving yourself up the wall isn’t going to make them arrive any faster, you know,” Gale teased gently, coming up behind him.

“I don’t know what you mean,” Astarion crossed his arms and looked away disinterestedly, his voice just a bit too high-pitched. “I was just thinking what a pity it is that there aren’t more adorable little creatures to kill out here.”

“He’s being a tough guy,” Tav’s affectionate voice vibrated on The Weave. “Tease him a little bit.”

 “Oh really?” Gale asked, clearly unconvinced. “I assumed you must be out here waiting for Tav to come home, like a little love-sick puppy.”

Astarion hissed indignantly, immediately offended. “I beg your pardon! I am an eternally vibrant vampire, not some spotted-faced choir boy!”

“Ah, of course not,” Gale smirked. “I just thought there must be some connection – Tav being gone, and you being so exceptionally grumpy these past few days.”

“I’ll have you know that I am precisely the same amount of grumpy as always!” Astarion sneered, anger flashing in his eyes.

“Come now – you really don’t feel even a little excited for the ladies to get back?” Gale nudged playfully, lightening the mood a bit.

Astarion gave an exasperated “ugh!” with a roll of his eyes. “I… will admit, it will be… nice, to see Tav again,” he conceded begrudgingly. “But that has nothing to do with why I’m out here! I’m doomed to an insatiable sanguine need to hunt, you know.”

As though through divine intervention, a graceful little doe and her fawn chose that moment to come into view several meters away, nibbling nervously at the dew-covered grass.

Tav’s laughter rang through The Weave.

Gale raised his brow and gestured vaguely over to the delicate little creatures.

“Well, not deer,” Astarion said crossly, as though stating the obvious. “…I don’t like deer. Filthy little sinewy beasts.”

The fawn waggled its ears as it reached for a twig, its mother bending down to lick its face affectionately.

“Awww!” Astarion gasped quietly, bringing his hands to his lips with shocked jubilance.

Gale chuckled.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” Astarion hissed bitterly, his patience running thin.

Gale had to bite the inside of his cheek painfully to keep himself from grinning – he had to seem reluctant, or the whole thing would be blown.

“Now,” Tav’s voice spoke in his head.

“I’ve got a bit of bad news, mate,” Gale answered forlornly. “Tav sent me a message on The Weave – she’s fine,” he insisted immediately in the same breath, to assuage Astarion’s automatic worried expression – “she’s fine. But she said it’s going to take them a little longer to get home...”

Astarion visibly crumpled at that, his face melting with – not even disappointment, but sorrow.

“…What?” Astarion whined in disbelief, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Something about some rare ingredients they stumbled across in a cave on the way back, I think,” Gale lied, steeling himself against Astarion’s woeful face.

“How much longer?” Astarion pressed, a little louder now, his tone teetering between anger and anguish.

“Only a few more days!” Gale tried his best to sound reassuring. “Four or five, maybe?”

“Ohhhh, gods dammit!” Astarion groaned, bringing his hands into his hair, seething in frustration. “Perfect! Truly fantastic! Just fucking kill me, wizard!”

“Astarion?” Gale interrupted, eager to end his friend’s torment.

“What?!” Astarion snapped, throwing his arms in front of him beseechingly.

A grin broke out across Gale’s face. “I’m lying.”

“Portare!” Tav’s voice echoed from behind Gale – and with a brief flash of light, there she was.

Her face was smudged with dirt from traveling, her hair unkempt and escaping the threadbare ribbon holding it off her shoulders. Her face was pink, kissed by the sun – his favorite dimple nestled into her playful grin. And her hands were held aloft on either side of her, as if to say “ta-da!”

He had never seen her look more beautiful in his entire fucking life.

“Hello, da—” Tav began. But before she could even finish her greeting, she was being swept into his arms, his chest crashing into hers with such force that it took her breath way – literally.

“Tav,” he shuddered, hugging her fiercely against him until her feet weren’t even touching the ground, and burying his nose into the nape of her neck.

“Hello, my love,” she sighed contentedly, bringing her fingers up to tangle in his hair.

“Fucking hells, Tav…” Astarion whispered, his voice shaking with relief. He inhaled deeply, the sweet smell of her skin filling every pore of him.

The trill of bells, as she laughed against his cheeks. “I wasn’t even gone a tenday, you know.”

He set her down gently, hands coming up to cradle her face. “Gods, but I missed you.” The words were barely out of his mouth before he was kissing her passionately, his lips capturing hers over and over again.

He pulled away for a moment, taking in every detail of her, and looked as though he were about to say something – only to begin kissing her once more.

Elation – absolute euphoria. Like a man dying of thirst in the desert, stumbling into a crisp, flowing river…

Astarion wrapped his arms around her once more and closed his eyes, quite certain she would float away at any moment if he didn’t hold on. He might just float away with her…

“I missed you too, darling…” Tav hummed, nestling cozily into his shoulder. “So much.”

Gale made a happy little noise as he watched their reunion, if not a little awkwardly. “I hope you can forgive me for all that,” he said finally to Astarion. “Although in my defense, it was all Tav’s idea.”

“You’re a filthy, despicable, horrible rat bastard, and you’re lucky if I let you live through the night,” Astarion informed him matter-of-factly, meeting Gale’s line of vision – but his words were directly contradicted by his elated tone of voice and enormous, gleeful grin.

“And with that, I bid you both a good morning,” Gale said through a chuckle, taking a little bow and turning on his heel.

Tav gave Gale a little wave as he made his way back to camp, then turned back toward Astarion, who was staring at her with absolute adoration she was sure matched her own gaze.

“Tell me everything that happened while I was gone!” she insisted. “I heard you were getting some quality bonding time with the other fellas.”

Astarion gazed at her through half-lidded eyes, but said nothing – as though he hadn’t heard her at all. He almost looked to be in a trance.

“…Darling?” Tav asked gently.

“Hmm? …Oh, I’m sorry, I just… I was leagues away… what did you say?” Astarion practically purred, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek.

“What did you learn from Halsin?” Tav repeated, leaning into his embrace.

“Oh yes – I was actually able to… erm, relieve myself,” he forced the words from his mouth, burying the well-learned shame that the subject brought to the pit of his gut. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed, not when she was finally here. “…In front of him and Gale…”

“Really? That’s wonderful!” Tav smiled, clapping eagerly. “How?”

“He… spoke to me about his own past, actually,” Astarion recalled. “Made me realize I was giving Cazador too much power over me, even now… Opened my mind to the idea of healing, rather than just getting even.”

Tav positively beamed at him, her eyes welling with happy tears, and he felt as though he might shatter into pieces.

“He’s absolutely right, you know,” Tav sniffled. “Although we certainly will get even, as well…” she flashed him a scheming little smirk. “So how did he convince you to finally… go in front of him?”

Astarion huffed, but his grin never left his lips. Of course Tav would insist on details – what else would he expect, really?

He chuckled at the memory of the three of them, drunkenly pissing together in the wilderness. The gift of hindsight allowed him to see the humor in the situation in a way he was unable to at the time.

Gods, whatever happened to that stupid little chart that Gale made, I wonder?

“Some sort of tosh about nature, and rivers, and returning our waters to the earth and all that,” Astarion joked dismissively. “…I don’t really know, honestly – I was drunk and about to piss my pants.”

At that, Tav tossed her head back, a high-pitched peal of laughter erupting from her at his flippant description.

Gods, how he adored her laugh…

“…Halsin had some ideas with regards to other things as well…” he added, his voice a little sultry now. “Particularly with regard to our ‘friend’ arrangement.”

“Oh really?” Tav flashed him his favorite dimpled half-smile, and he felt his heart soar. “Pray tell.”

“Don’t get too excited. He simply suggested we allow a few more options on the table.”

“Hmmm... including ‘on the table?’” Tav grinned, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Blood rushed to his cock, as the image of her splayed across their wooden picnic table near the fire pit flooded his mind...

But he wasn’t willing to allow her to win that easily. He couldn’t let her see how flustered her one little joke had made him. He was a centuries-old master of sex, after all – he had to at least appear to have a shred of tact.

“Far from it, my dear,” he grinned coolly. “I would hate for you to get splinters up your back from the vigorous movement.”

“Bold of you to assume I would be the one on my back,” she retorted effortlessly, without skipping a beat.

He imagined her on top of him, now, as she rode his cock in full view of their campsite… The leaves of the trees above her rustling in the breeze as she thrust against him… The creaking of the wooden table beneath him as she used him for her pleasure… the way her voice would quiver as she cried out his name…

“Come to think of it,” Tav continued, “I’m no stranger to a few splinters - you’ve already had me up against a tree. Our first night together… do you remember?”

Gods. Did he remember…

The coy little cat-and-mouse game they’d been playing for all these months – and not an unpleasant one, at that – would finally come to its conclusion. They’d flirted ceaselessly since traveling together. There was a natural magnetism the two of them shared, beyond just her beauty, beyond just his charm.

And he had been tempted. They both had been tempted. But tonight, he would claim her body, sigh her name, make her wriggle and scream in ecstasy, and she would be putty in his hands. Just like all the others.

Even if she had made him say “please” – although that had been an audacious little surprise as well…

So, when he heard her quiet footfalls approaching the clearing just outside of camp, he’d appeared from behind the trees in nothing but his thin brown trousers – and took pride in the way her gaze locked onto his muscles.

“There you are. I've been waiting. Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting... to have you.”

He had wondered what she would show up wearing, but he was still pleasantly surprised. She was showing off her body effortlessly – skin practically glowing in the moonlight – in thin cotton shorts and a threadbare white shirt that barely reached her midriff. Simple – comfortable. As though she’d been ready to fall asleep in her tent, and had decided last-minute to come seek him out.

In short, she was a vision.

“You don't have me yet...” Tav had retorted a bit haughtily, even as her eyes travelled up and down his body appreciatively.

Playing hard to get… cheeky little pup, indeed…

“Don't I? You're here,” he smiled, inching closer to her. “And I don’t think you want to talk,” he simpered, capturing her gaze with his own. “I think you want to be known. To be tasted.”

“And what do you want?” Tav had asked.

Such a talker, this one… “What do any of us want? Pleasure.” He curled his lips upward. “Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy.”

“That's what you want, isn't it?” He furrowed his brow, not taking his eyes off hers. “To lose yourself in me.”

She had seemed a bit anxious, for just a moment – and he worried he may have pushed too far. But she had just raised her brow stubbornly and put her hands on her hips – and he was surprised at how enticing he found the simple gesture. “I want to have fun - that's it,” she corrected.

He grinned, relieved that she appeared to still be receptive.

Relieved, and… a little… perturbed, at how worried he had just been that he’d offended her…

“Then let's have some fun,” he agreed – and pulled down his breeches, allowing his cock to spring free.

And at that, her dimpled little half-smile had appeared on her face as she pulled her shirt over her head.

His breath caught in his throat – and she’d barely had time to pull her shorts down as well before he’d hoisted her up into his arms, unable to wait any longer.

Tav wrapped her legs around his torso, her wet cunt pressed against his abdomen, and Astarion felt all logic and reasoning flee from his mind.

He had kissed her as though he were starving. She had responded in kind.

Astarion had pressed her against a tree, bracing them against it so he could lean back and take in her flushed face.

They had just gazed at each other, for a moment. He was surprised at how much he was enjoying just having her wrapped around him.

Then, pesky little minx that she was, she had pushed herself off the back of the tree, propelling the two of them onto the ground – so that she was straddling him proudly.

She looked down at him with that smile of hers again – and he was so… delighted… that he didn’t even feel the need to say anything else. He simply rolled the two of them over again, grateful to have found a worthy playmate.

That had been the first time she’d made those little noises for him…

He let out a small groan, in spite of himself. “You’re making it rather difficult for me already, you know…”

“Sorry, darling,” she crooned, sounding as though she was most decidedly not sorry. “What were you saying?”

…What had he been saying?

Astarion had to take a moment to retrace his steps of the conversation, silently willing his cock to stop throbbing.

“…Ah, Halsin’s advice,” he remembered. “He said we should try allowing ourselves to enjoy each other’s bodies to our heart’s content.”

“Hmm. Well, I’ve certainly had worse assignments,” Tav smiled brazenly.

“But… this…” he murmured, grasping his straining prick and adjusting it in his breeches so that it wasn’t protruding quite so much – “isn’t allowed anywhere near this,” he concluded, bringing his hand forward to cup the soft mound between her legs.

His breath caught in his throat as he was pleasantly surprised at the heat he found emanating there, even from under the fabric of her trousers…

Tav thrust her hips forward, almost imperceptibly – but Astarion noticed. He had to bite back a grin.

“Really?” Tav’s voice was deceptively innocent now. “Why that… almost sounds like a challenge,” she murmured, repeating his own words to her from that first night of being “friends.”

“Doesn’t it just?” Astarion agreed, hoping he sounded more controlled than he felt. Then, forcing himself to pull his hand away, “Technically I shouldn’t even have touched it just now, but… I’m only human, if you’ll pardon the expression.” He grinned. “My apologies.”

Tav gave him a little smack on the chest. “Bad boy, Astarion.”

That sent a shudder down him. Gods, she was truly killing him...

“And there’s one more rule,” he added, clearing his throat.

Tav raised her eyebrows, as if to say “go on.”

Astarion pulled himself in closer to her, so that his lips were hovering just above her ear. “The other rule is… I’m not allowed to come...” he whispered.

Tav blinked as his words sunk in. Then, a wide, cheeky grin spread across her face. “Now that,” she whispered, turning her head towards him. “…certainly sounds like a challenge.”

“Tav!” Shadowheart’s cheerful voice invaded their heated moment as the slender girl plodded up behind them. “I finished mixing up those potions we discussed earlier – now we just need some help with Karlach’s garters.”

Shadowheart shot Astarion a knowing smile, her eyes sparkling. “Morning, Astarion. Sorry, am I interrupting?”

“Not at all – Astarion was just about to take care of a rather pressing matter, anyway,” Tav teased, stepping in front of him graciously to shield his straining erection from the cleric.

And for once, Astarion was thankful for the interruption – because he’d been mere seconds away from throwing caution to the wind and carrying her over to the picnic table, devouring that little smirk of hers as he went.

“Right… of course!” Astarion forced a pleasant smile on his lips, shoving his hands into his pockets in a way he hoped appeared casual. “You ladies get some rest – I’ll see you later tonight.”

With that, he turned in the opposite direction and darted into the woods, his stiffened member bobbing comically with each step.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

“What on earth are you women up to, anyway?” Astarion hummed in Tav’s ear as he helped her unpack.

Tav and the other women had slept for most of the morning – and Astarion had finally been able to actually focus on hunting, knowing Tav was home safe and sound – but now he was happily whiling away the afternoon helping her get settled back in.

“We’re going to set up the perfect opportunity for Karlach and Gale to finally be honest with each other about their feelings,” Tav answered proudly, being sure to keep her voice low enough that they wouldn’t be overheard from outside.

“Oh? But their current strategy of ‘staring at one another like school children and running away’ is going so well for them,” Astarion teased reproachfully.

“No kidding!” Tav laughed. “We’ve got a skimpy little outfit for her to wear around camp tonight – with something even skimpier on underneath.”

“Ah,” Astarion nodded. “Hence the ‘Karlach’s garters’ that Shadowheart mentioned earlier, I wager.”

“Oh, you’ve no idea,” Tav grinned, “she had to have us help her into them, but I imagine it won’t take nearly as long to rip them off.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow, a smile spreading across his lips as he imagined Gale’s shocked expression. “Poor Gale – we’d better make sure Shadowheart is nearby, in case he loses consciousness…”

Tav tossed her head back and laughed. Astarion’s heart ached – a happy ache, this time. Thank gods she was home…

“Shadowheart’s got her own part to play – she’s made up a ton of Fire Resistance potions for Gale, just in case. We just have to tell him they’re… I don’t know, wizard potions, or something?”

“‘Wizard Potions?’ Really, darling?” Astarion tutted in mock disappointment. “Take it from a world-class liar – you’re going to need to do better than that.”

“Well I can’t just call them ‘Fire Resistance’ potions, or he’ll know what we’re up to!” Tav reasoned, tossing a clean bundle of rags at him playfully.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something,” he conceded. “But… I hope you don’t mind if I sleep in here with you tonight.” Astarion’s lips stretched into an all-too-innocent grin. “If things go according to plan, I imagine I won’t get much sleep in my tent, with it being so close to Gale’s…

“We’ve taken care of that, too – Lae’zel and Jaheira are setting up a tent for them in the field, just for tonight.” Tav brought her arms around Astarion, craning her face up towards his. “Although I’d still love to have you in my tent anyway. I’ve been starved of cuddles for too long.”

“Yes…” Astarion sighed, relishing in having her in his arms again. “I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since you’ve been gone.”

They just stayed there for a moment, holding each other – heartbeat against heartbeat.

“Me neither,” Tav agreed, burying her face in his chest – breathing him in. Bergamot and sunshine – her Astarion…

She felt a slight nudge against her abdomen as Astarion’s cock began to stiffen against her – and suddenly, their position was becoming very dangerous…

“So…” she cleared her throat, pushing away enough to meet his gaze again. His pupils were enormous, eyes watching her every move hungrily. “Your job is to get Wyll and Halsin back to their tents, once I’ve brought Gale back from drinking his potions… Can you do that for me?”

“…Anything for you, darling,” Astarion answered.

And he meant it.

~~~

The life had returned to their camp.

Wyll and Gale had cooked a fabulous meal for all of them, and as they gathered round the campfire, bellies full and spirits high, their unlikely band of travelers felt complete once again.

Now, as they sat around the campfire, the thrill of their victory coursing through the women’s veins and the men beyond relieved to have them home, they all began to indulge in some wine.

The women regaled them with the harrowing tale of their search for the hag – that is, Tav told most of the story, with the others interjecting every so often with their own commentary. Astarion watched Tav with rapt attention, as if soaking up every second of her to make up for lost time.

“Oh, Gale!” Tav perked up, locking eyes with the wizard. “Come with me for just a moment – I’ve got something for you!”

“You shouldn’t have!” Gale smiled in pleasant surprise, the campfire shining off his eyes. “And me without anything to give you in return.”

“Nonsense - you and Wyll made us that fabulous dinner! Now come with me!” Tav urged, taking the wizard’s hand and pulling him up from his seat.

“Alright, alright, don’t spill my wine!” Gale laughed, teetering behind her.

Jaheira made quite a show of stretching her arms out wide with an exaggerated yawn. “I’ll be heading to bed now – these old bones don’t handle revelry two nights in a row quite like they used to.”

“Goodnight!” Tav called over her shoulder, still pulling Gale toward her tent.

Shadowheart turned to Lae’zel knowingly and shot her a wink. “That reminds me, Lae’zel, would you come help me lift something heavy I found in the field? I need to harvest some algae.”

“I suppose,” Lae’zel stood, gesturing for the cleric to lead the way. “Wouldn’t want you to break a nail or anything.”

Shadowheart stuck her tongue out at the Githyanki, who hid her smile – poorly – behind a fake sneeze.

“I’m going to change into something more comfy,” Karlach said, gulping the last few dregs of her drink and plopping the empty glass onto the picnic table. Gonna need plenty of wine to stick to this hare-brained idea… she thought to herself. “Be right back.”

That left Wyll, Astarion, and Halsin to their drinking around the campfire – which Astarion would soon remedy.

“Alright, let’s not mince words,” Astarion began placidly, eyes moving from Wyll’s to Halsin’s and back again. “Karlach is about to come back out here looking like an absolute vision, and the two of you need to get out of here before Gale gets back.”

“Wait… What?” Wyll blinked, thinking he must be a fair bit drunker than he thought.

Where Wyll looked utterly confused, Halsin appeared to be genuinely concerned.

“We have to leave before Gale gets back? Does Gale… believe we would try to woo Karlach out from under him?” Halsin asked, a twinge of guilt flashing across his rugged face.

Astarion rolled his eyes. “No, you sweet, handsome dunce – Gale doesn’t even know.” He folded his hands and rested his chin on top of them. “Although I do like your choice of words - our goal is to get Karlach under him in the first place.”

“Ahhhh, I see,” Wyll nodded. “Giving the two of them a little push in the right direction, so to speak.”

Halsin chuckled now, downing the last of his wine and coming to a stand, prodding Wyll’s arm gently. “What say you and I go gather up the dishes and head to our tents, eh?”

“Oh, alright,” Wyll followed suit, giving Astarion a small nod. “Tell Gale I said good luck, eh?”

Astarion had barely had a full minute of solitude, before he heard Karlach’s heavy footfalls coming up behind him. “Where’d everyone go?!” she demanded.

Astarion turned to face her – and felt his eyes widen, eyebrows raising appreciatively.

Karlach wore a thin pair of soft purple linen shorts that just barely covered the tops of her thighs, the flames beneath her skin making her literally glow from within. A silky matching tank top covered her chest, leaving her arms and stomach bare.

“Well, well! Don’t you look ravishing,” Astarion swooned.

“Aww, go on…” Karlach blushed, her cheeks glowing orange like the heart of the campfire. “The girls talked me into this… I feel a bit silly, honestly.”

“Not at all! You look lovely – and the outfit looks comfortable enough to sleep in, too.” Astarion insisted, pouring her a glass of wine and gesturing to the seat across from him.

“Yeah, well, you should see what’s on underneath it,” Karlach murmured conspiratorially. “All the straps and buckles… It looks less like a pair of undies and more like the riggings of a ship.”

Astarion guffawed, handing her the full glass of wine. “Well, pajamas are overrated anyway, if you ask me. Anyway, Tav and Gale will be back any minute, something about some potions she’d had made for him or something.”

Karlach sat down, taking the wine glass appreciatively and taking a big gulp. “Good to have a bit of liquid courage, I suppose.”

They sat for a moment in companionable silence, watching the crackle of the fire. Finally, Astarion spoke once more.

“I suppose… love is on the table for you too, now, eh?”

The corners of his mouth quirked upward – he hoped she recognized what he was referring to.

From the fond expression in her eyes, she did.

It had been several months ago, when he and Karlach had been hunting for game. The two of them were quite the team – she handled the meat, he drained them of blood.

They had been making pleasant enough small talk about nothing in particular, when finally Karlach had paused a moment, as though working up her courage…

“Sorry if this is rude, but... can vampires fall in love?” she’d asked – and her voice was so genuine that he couldn’t bring himself to be offended.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t be a smart-ass, of course – that came naturally.

“What a preposterous question! Vampires can do anything you can do, and a damn side better!” he ranted haughtily – but kept his face as mild as possible, so she didn’t think him actually angry. “Rich of you to talk about someone else’s heart, Karlach,” he chuffed.

She smirked at him, her voice adopting a friendly tease. “Our vamp isn’t so heartless after all …So, love is on the table, then?

“It is!” Astarion agreed enthusiastically – then felt his cheeks flush. He had answered immediately, without thinking.

Looking back, he had known he was in love with Tav, even though he hadn’t yet admitted it even to himself. That’s why he’d been so afraid – so desperate to make a joke of it, as he always did.

“…Though if the table is laden with good wine and meat, love is often laid to rot with the salad leaves,” he had simpered.

Karlach had looked at him incredulously, as though he were insulting her intelligence.

He couldn’t say love – he wasn’t even sure he was capable of it. But Karlach had seen him with Tav enough to know that there was… something there…

“…But I must admit,” he had sighed, “my chest has been feeling a touch lighter recently…”

She smiled at him, eyes twinkling with affection for her friends. “It suits you beautifully.”

He smiled shyly back, then had to look away. “Yes...” he said cockily, “most things do.”

“I don’t know. Tav certainly thinks that love could be on the table for me…” Karlach answered, staring intently at her wine glass. “I’m still not entirely convinced that Gale feels that way about me, to be honest.”

Astarion laughed so raucously that he choked on his wine, spilling it all over himself and setting him into a fit of coughing. “…You’re serious?!” he demanded, wiping at his chin.

The tiefling’s cheeks burned bright orange. “Well I mean, sometimes I think he does, but then I think that maybe I just think that he does because I like him so much, and then I think—”

“Karlach. Darling,” Astarion held his palm up to her and closed his eyes, halting her mid-sentence. “Believe me when I tell you – you have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

“Really? You really think he does too? For real?” Karlach looked at him with doubtful eagerness.

He very nearly threw his hands in the air and shouted “Of course he does, you ninny! He’s obviously completely in love with you, and we’ve all known for bloody months!”

But he forced himself to bite his tongue. That information wasn’t his to share – Gale deserved to tell her himself. And she deserved to hear it from him.

“…I think you should ask him,” Astarion smiled finally, staring into her eyes pointedly. “But, like I said… you have nothing to worry about.”

Karlach’s gaze shifted back down to her wine glass, now – but this time, she was giddy, rather than timid. “…Thanks, mate.”

Astarion smiled, and topped off his wine. “So the more you cool down, the more your love life heats up?”

Karlach crossed her fingers hopefully. “Seems that way! But I’m a bit out of practice, to be honest…”

“I'm sure it'll all come back to you. You'll be as depraved as the rest of us in no time,” he said cheerily. “The outfit is a delightfully cruel touch as well,” he added with a wink. “I can’t wait for them to get back.”

“Wait no longer, darling!” Tav called to them, she and Gale approaching from the direction of her tent.

“Stand up!” Astarion hissed to Karlach under his breath.

Karlach did just that, jumping up eagerly to show off her outfit as they approached. “Check it out, Tav! They’re even cozier outside of the store!”

Gale’s eyes very nearly popped out of his skull – Astarion had to claw into his own hand to keep himself from cackling. It was a good thing Tav was in front of Gale, because she would likely not have been able to keep from laughing.

The wizard’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, wide eyes locked on Karlach. “K—Ahh—uh, em—”

“Wow! They look great! The silk was definitely the right choice!” Tav squealed, running over and sliding her palm over the material.

“I know!” Karlach did a little twirl, the bottom hem of her top flaying outward ever-so-slightly to reveal even more of her skin, for just a split second. “Now that I can feel again, I realized how fucking uncomfortable all my other clothes were. Keeps me cooler, as well.”

Tav smacked Karlach’s butt playfully. “Ironic, since you look hotter than ever!”

“Ugh, that was terrible! Stick to songs, bard-y,” Karlach teased with a playful groan.

 Astarion couldn’t keep the grin from his face – particularly since Gale’s expression still hadn’t moved whatsoever. “What do you think of her new wardrobe, Gale?”

Gale finally blinked, as though he’d completely forgotten anyone else was there. He looked over at Astarion briefly – as though reassuring himself the vampire had actually spoken to him – then went straight back to Karlach.

“You look...” he paused, choosing his words carefully, “…comfortable…” His gaze travelled from her head to her feet, and back up again. “A mite over-exposed, given the perils of our adventure,” he trailed off under his breath, then continued emphatically: “BUT I suppose it adds a thrilling edge to leave oneself open to danger and...”

And here, his cheeks flushed furiously, “…other things.”

Tav bit back a smile – this was working out perfectly. “Well, I’m afraid I’m heading to bed now, and I’d like to take this one with me.” She held her hand out to Astarion. “Perhaps the two of you could finish up our leftover glasses of wine?”

“Ah, of course!” Gale nodded, thankful for the change in subject and all-too-eager to distract himself. “And I’ve still got plenty of those potions you made for me, as well – I don’t feel much of a difference just yet, but that’s probably just a matter of time.”

Astarion almost hated to leave, he was so enjoying the show. But, at the thought of finally holding Tav in his arms again as they fell asleep… well, it was an easy choice.

“Yes, be sure you don’t let it go to waste,” Astarion emphasized bluntly, lingering on Gale’s blushing face just a bit too long. He took Tav’s offered hand and wrapped himself around her. “The two of you have a lovely rest of your evening,” he said ever-so-sweetly.

As they made their way towards Tav’s tent, Karlach finally met Gale’s gaze again, laughing nervously. “So…”

-Gale & Karlach-

Gale forced himself to look directly at her face, now – and nowhere else. “So! …I assume your choice of apparel isn't the subject of the day!” he said, attempting to change the subject. “What's on your hind— I mean mind?!”

“HA!!! --- ow, Tav!” Astarion’s now receding voice, along with the stinging slap! of a smack, barely registered in Gale’s mind – he was too mortified at what he’d just said.

“…..mmmmmmm…” Gale’s mouth quirked to the side, his eyes wincing – there was no covering up for that one. Perhaps he should just allow the orb to explode him right then and there…

But Karlach burst into laughter, and gave him a gentle jab on the arm. “You’re too sweet, Gale. It’s alright – I know it’s pretty different from what I usually wear.”

His cheeks still burned with embarrassment, but he was able to smile now, at least. “It’s lovely on you, just the same. I’ve always been partial to purple.”

“Positively partial to purple!” Karlach giggled, emphasizing the P sounds. “Come have some wine with me!” She grabbed the abandoned wine glasses from the table and offered one to him. “It’s the good stuff, like Astarion said – waste not want not!”

“Indeed…” Gale said, barely able to hear her over the maddening pounding of his heartbeat in his ears. He took the wine and sipped appreciatively.

His eyes darted away from hers, as she caught his gaze lingering just a bit too long.

“So tell me! How was it, travelling around and fighting the hag without us?” Gale asked pleasantly, finding his mouth unpleasantly dry even with the wine.

“It was loads of fun, honestly, getting to know the gals!” Karlach grinned, her voice affectionate. “Glad to be home, though – it never feels the same when we’re not all together, y’know?”

“Yes,” Gale nodded, looking down at the campfire. “I know what you mean…”

“Aww,” Karlach crooned playfully, “did you miss me, Gale?”

And, to his surprise as much as hers, he looked her directly in the eye, now.

“…Yes, I did,” he stated simply.

Her cheeks burned orange, taken aback at his sincerity. “…Really?”

“Most definitely” Gale nodded, and felt his heart squeeze with anxious excitement. “I missed you a lot.”

It was her turn to look away, now, eyelashes fluttering daintily against her cheeks. The sight was enough to take his breath away – if he hadn’t already been holding his breath.

“I missed you too, Gale,” Karlach admitted, and held her wine glass aloft to him in a toast. “To reunions.”

He smiled and clinked his glass against hers. They both took a drink.

“…Although I’m really not sure how to get rid of this adrenaline rush, to be honest… I’m still so wired, after the hag,” Karlach said. “I still feel so fired up – if you’ll forgive the pun.”

Gale laughed nervously. “It can indeed be difficult to ease back into one’s normal routine,” he contended.

Then, before his mind could stop his now slightly drunken mouth: “I um.... once read a book that explained in some detail the effect a brush with danger has on one's desire for…” And here, he almost lost his nerve. But it was hardly as though he could just leave his thought unfinished – especially when she was looking at him so intently. So he swallowed, and forced himself to continue: “…other forms… of stimulation…”

He was certain his cheeks were as red as hers, now, but the way she held his gaze – as though hanging on his every word – urged him onward.

“Have you ever read... anything on that subject?” he asked innocently.

Karlach grinned, eyes take in all of him – in a way she had never quite looked at him before. Coyly… mischievously… Almost… hungry…

The sparks in her hair burned even hotter, illuminating her face.

“Read it? I could have written the thing,” Karlach murmured, voice husky.

Gale felt his cock twitch, and had to hold back a tiny gasp.

“I believe you,” he stated, voice lowering as well. “You never look so beautiful as at the end of a sterling battle. Your cheeks flushed, gaze bright, muscles glistening...”

He was revealing far too much – he was making an ass out of himself. He knew it. But he was mesmerized by her – emboldened by the wine and this newfound way she had of staring at him…

Karlach felt her heart pounding, flattered at his words and encouraged by his sultry tone. Perhaps he really did feel the same way…

“I’m not much of a reader,” she tutted, “but I’ve seen some very informative diagrams,” she said coquettishly.

“You have?” Gale raised his brow in shocked delight, “Oh! …Perhaps we should… pool our knowledge together, then.”

Who is this person talking?! he thought to himself. Perhaps some of Astarion’s abilities truly had worn off on him after all… He could hardly believe the words even as they came from his mouth.

“No sense in… letting valuable first-hand experience go to waste, after all…” he trailed off, chest heaving even as his tone was jaunty and light.

Karlach laughed raucously, and rested her head on his shoulder.

His breath caught in his throat – she had never actually touched him before… had never been able to, with her infernal engine running as hot as it had been previously.

He brought his arm around her shoulder, leaning into her embrace.

It felt… complete. Whole. As though something inside of him, long lost, had finally been returned to its rightful home.

“You’re a smooth talker, Gale Dekarios, you know that?” Karlach hummed sweetly.

“Mother always taught me to stick to what I’m good at,” he replied.

She laughed again, and pulled herself up just enough to look him in the eye.

“I adore you, you know,” she said warmly, smiling from ear to ear.

Gale felt his stomach drop.

“I…”

Say it, you coward. Just say it.

But what if she just meant she adored him as a friend? As a trusted ally, a valued companion? What if being around Astarion so much had made him cocky – what if she was just being nice?

Her advice to him from several months earlier flashed quickly in his mind:

"Whoever it is, just TALK TO THEM, Gale! And leave out the hypotheticals!”

And Wyll’s drunken encouragement, from their brief time without the women:

“She’s mad about you, too, we’re all just placing bets on when one of you will buck up and say it.”

…By the gods, he just had to say it. If she rejected him, at least he would know – he could throw himself fully into his magic once again, burying his broken heart in his studies just like the last time…

And, as he met her gaze – her smoldering eyes filled with affection and trust and… something expectant? …Desire?...

He was certain he couldn’t keep it to himself a moment longer anyway.

“I... love you,” he murmured, barely more than a whisper.

In an instant, her body glowed with freshly stoked flames, and for a split second he worried she might be ill—

“ILOVEYOUTOO!” she shouted eagerly, eyes wide and bright, her voice so loud that he visibly startled.

The words were barely out of her mouth before she immediately erupted into a fit of delirious giggling.

Gale’s face went blank, utterly aghast at her response. Was she… laughing at him? Gods, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to show his face again—

But she was covering her own face with her hands – rather adorably – as though fighting with her own embarrassment. Her laughter rolled from her in waves, as though she could barely believe it herself.

“Oh my gods!” she giggled, her voice high-pitched, almost manic. “I’ve been DYING! TO SAY THAT!”

Gale gaped at her stupidly, his trepidation slowly melting into relief, and finally… exhilaration. Unmitigated elation.

A smile broke across his face as she continued her laughter, her cheeks glowing orange in childlike wonder. “Hmmmmm, OHHH!” she gasped for air, “My gods, if I smile any bigger MY FACE. IS GOING. TO CRACK! Hooooo…”

She forced herself to exhale, as though her delighted giggles threatened to break out again at any moment.

Gale, for once, was absolutely speechless, his heart threatening to float right out of his chest. He watched her turn her face away briefly, waving her hand as though forcing herself to regain her composure.

“Ohh, I’m pathetic!” she chirped, gesturing towards her flustered face. “Besotted!”

She glowered at him in mock anger, belied by the enormous grin spread across her cheeks. “And it’s ALL! YOUR! FAULT!” She pointed a finger at him in teasing accusation, poking his chest for emphasis with each word.

“I… I…” Gale felt his eyes well with tears – his long-held anxiety leaving him with such immediacy that it was almost overwhelming. He wiped his tears with his sleeve, and felt his own chest begin to roll into peals of laughter as well. “I apologize, for having besotted you so,” he chuckled.

And with that, the two of them burst into laughter anew, both wiping at their eyes as their ill-found fears slowly faded.

“They told me you felt the same, but I thought… I thought surely they were pulling my leg!” Karlach clutched at her aching sides. “That you were just being kind.”

“I know! They said the same to me,” he admitted, shaking his head. What a fool he’d been, for all this time…

Her smile lessened just a bit, concern returning to her tone. “Dammon made me able to touch things without completely melting them, as you know. And those potions that Tav gave you were Fire Resistance potions–”

Gale raised his brow. “Ah. Well, that certainly makes more sense than the nondescript ‘wizard potions’ she insisted on…”

His heart swelled with affection for his sweet, meddling friend – he clearly owed her an enormous show of gratitude…

“…But you have to tell me, okay? If I start to burn you,” Karlach said softly, taking his hands into hers. “You promise?”

Gale’s heart was pounding, relishing the feel of her warm skin against his. “I promise…”

“Come here, then,” Karlach grinned, and pulled him into her, capturing his mouth with hers before he could say anything more.

Finally… finally.

He let out a shuddering breath as his timid lips began to push back against her… his hands coming up to cradle her face, craning his neck to the side to grant her easier access.

He felt heat rush to his manhood, and instinctively turned his hips away from her in an attempt to hide his arousal.

She groaned beneath his lips, urged by his enthusiastic reciprocity. “Fuck, Gale…”

At the sound of the expletive escaping her lips, he felt his cock twitch to full mast. There was no way she didn’t feel it against her now, no matter how he twisted…

“Ten years is a long time to be trapped in the hells…” Karlach brought her hands down to rest against the curve of his ass. “Ten years without a kind word, a touch…”

His heart ached for her – he would do anything to take that pain from her, to go back in time and bring her joy in that terrible darkness…

“When I look at you, I feel real again. Alive,” she huffed, before kissing him once more, her lips naked without his.

“Karlach…” Gale sighed against her mouth when they finally parted for air, his entire body radiating charged, titillating heat as she surrounded him.

“Gods, I want to ride you 'til you see stars…” she whispered into his ear – and to his shame, he felt himself shudder, audibly groaning against her.

“Follow me,” Karlach purred, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him towards the field.

~~~

A tent had been erected at the far edge of the meadow – a plush pile of bedrolls, blankets, and pillows lying invitingly in the middle, a bottle of lubricating salve unopened at its side – and two empty glasses, with several bottles of wine stacked into a nearby crate.

“Shadowheart and the girls helped me set it up for us out here…” Karlach said shyly. “Although I wasn’t entirely sure we would have need of it…”

It was certainly less posh than his tower in Waterdeep – where he would have preferred to bed her for the first time, under different circumstances – but he was touched at the effort his companions had put forth for them, nonetheless.

“…How kind of them,” Gale smiled – his head was still reeling with the night’s events, and he found himself unusually nonverbose. He wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t dreaming…

Karlach looked a bit nervous again, her brow furrowing with newfound self-consciousness. “We… we don’t have to, you know, if you don’t…” She cleared her throat. “I mean, we could just sleep, if it’s too much… if it’s too fast—”

“No!” Gale insisted, cutting her off immediately. Gods, how could he be so incredibly obtuse – of course she would read his quiet response, or lack thereof, as reluctance… “By the Weave, no, Karlach, believe me… I want to.” He brought his hand up to stroke her cheek, and the smile returned to her face.

Without another word, Karlach took her silky top and wrenched it over her head, catching it briefly on her horn and tossing it impatiently into the grass.

Gale felt every word evaporate from his mind, unable to form a single thought as he took in the sight before him.

She slid her shorts down to her ankles and stepped out of them, leaving her completely naked except for a thin strip of fabric between her legs, attached to a frilly pair of garters previously hidden beneath the matching shorts. Her chest was completely bare, except for a thin, lacey bra, her nipples visible beneath the delicate fabric.

His cock strained against his breeches, now, and for a split second he worried there wouldn’t be enough blood left for the rest of his body.

“Gods, Karlach… you…” his voice caught in his throat, and he cleared it with a cough, never taking his eyes off her glowing skin. Words were failing him yet again. “You look… incredible…”

Karlach smiled pridefully, and took his hands in hers, placing them gently on her hips. “It feels incredible too,” she murmured, batting her eyelashes at him seductively. “Silky and soft…”

His heart was pounding so loudly in his ears that he almost hadn’t heard her at all.

“It’s just…” Gale’s voice wavered a bit. “It’s been, ah… quite a long time, for me…”

Karlach cackled at that. “A long time for you?” she repeated incredulously. “You didn’t spend ten years in Avernus, love.”

He blushed, and gave her a nod. “That’s certainly true, but… I just don’t want you to be disappointed, if I…”

He trailed off, ashamed to even be putting these thoughts into words. But, Mystra’s mercy, he felt as though he were seconds away from humiliating himself already, and he’d barely touched her…

He couldn’t pry his gaze from her breasts, wishing desperately to kiss them… to take her nipples between his lips…

“…If I, er… arrive… very quickly…” he concluded stupidly.

“Ahhh,” Karlach nodded, taking his words to heart. “That’s what you’re worried about.” She took the bottom hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head – and he lifted his arms helpfully. She took a moment to enjoy the view, her gaze particularly focusing on the straining bulge between his legs, before slipping her fingers beneath the band of his pants.

“Well, the night is young, after all,” Karlach reasoned – and pulled his pants down in one fell swoop, leaving him completely naked, his cock straining upward into the crisp night air.  “Let’s get this first one out of the way first, shall we?”

Gale spluttered and gasped, his cheeks flaming, his traitorous cock throbbing with need now that she was staring directly at it with wanton desire. “Ah—I, I didn’t mean – I wanted to give you pleasure first, darling—” he argued, even as his hips began to gyrate ever-so-slightly towards her, his body searching for anything to ease the tension.

She was on her knees in front of him, now, staring brazenly at his manhood with studious intensity – but she didn’t allow herself to touch it – not yet.

“Pleeeeease, Gale,” she keened, a sultry little whine in her voice, “Please let me play with it? I want to.”

As if to accentuate her point, she reached one hand down into her panties. “I want to play with your cock…” she mewled, meeting his gaze imploringly for just a moment, before fixating on it once again. “It’s been so long since I was able to touch one…”

She took a finger and batted at it gently, like a cat toying with a mouse.

“H-hah—” Gale gasped, feeling his desire pooling at the core of him – he wanted more, more of her touch, more of her words…

He knew he was dreaming, now – there was no way this could be real… Perhaps the orb had exploded already, and this was his dying body’s idea of heaven…

Karlach, unable to resist any longer, brought her lips up to the underside of his cock – just the tip – and pressed a gentle kiss to it.

“Unh!” Gale groaned, eyes closing with the sensation, the remainder of his decorum escaping him. His hips jerked towards her, his body reaching for more…

“F-Far be it from me, to… deny a lady’s request…” Gale hissed through clenched teeth finally, forcing his eyes back open and fixating on the vision below him.

And with that little moan of permission, a wild beast awoke inside Karlach.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Tav & Astarion-

“I think your plan is going rather well, darling,” Astarion hummed as he followed Tav into her tent. “I’ve never seen Gale’s eyes that enormous before.”

Tav grinned. “Well, it certainly doesn’t hurt that Karlach looks absolutely gorgeous in that lingerie. I couldn’t help but give her ass a little smack myself.”

“I… noticed that,” Astarion snickered, raising an eyebrow. “I had no idea I had to keep such a close eye on Karlach, lest she steal you away,” he teased.

“Pffft,” Tav blew a trill of air through her lips dismissively. “Believe me, darling, you have nothing to worry about in that regard.”

The corners of his lips tugged upward into a shy little smile. He had said it in jest, of course – he wasn’t actually worried about Tav having deeper feelings for Karlach – but it was still wonderful to hear her reassurance…

“Although, I can certainly make it even – just for the sake of propriety, of course,” Tav offered.

“Hmmm… What did you have in mind?” he asked.

“I’ll give you… two smacks,” Tav reasoned, lips spreading into a wide grin.

Then, before he could respond, she had slipped behind him, twirling on her toes as she did so, and gave each of his bum cheeks a little smack.

“Ah!” Astarion startled, feeling his prick stir beneath his breeches at the unexpected ambush. “Cheeky little…”

He spun around, wrapping his arms around her waist to prevent her escape. “How dare you!” he gasped in mock admonishment, even as he mirrored her cocky little grin. “I might have to put you over my knee in a moment…”

“Mmmm… don’t tempt me…” Tav murmured, craning her face upward and placing a kiss on his neck. The bulge of his throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed, and she pressed a second kiss to it…

Fuck… Astarion’s eyes fluttered shut, his prick straining against his pants now. He really shouldn’t egg her on any further, but his palms were practically itching now, imagining her soft little bum beneath his hands…

Just one… he reasoned, bringing his hands down to cradle her plump ass. Just one, for the sake of fairness…

He lifted his hand and brought it down onto the back of her trousers in one swift spank, and she let out a pitiful, wanton little squeak from where her face was cradled beneath his chin.

His cock twitched eagerly as the noise reached his ears, and his fingertips squeezed into her flesh. This was an incredibly dangerous game…

“Before you… punish me any further,” Tav whimpered, reluctantly but determinedly wriggling out from his grasp, “I think we ought to have a talk about our new rules, regarding our friendship…”

He held back a groan at the loss of contact, but forced himself to nod. “That… might be a very good idea,” he agreed.

Tav reached into her pack and pulled out a quill, and her journal. She opened the book to a blank page, and began scribbling furiously. “Tell me one more time what Halsin said.”

“Gods – this isn’t something that anyone else might stumble upon, is it, darling?” Astarion’s brow creased with worry. “I’d hate for someone to be rummaging through your pack looking for a grocery list, and all the sudden…”

“No, darling, this will just be for you and me,” Tav reassured him, smiling sweetly.

“Then…” Astarion cleared his throat. “He said ‘my threshold for intimacy will increase with time, if I allow myself to heal,’ or something along those lines.”

Tav nodded slowly as she wrote down the words. “And what rules did he give you?”

“Well, he said they were more like ‘guidelines’ than rules,” Astarion shrugged, but his eyes reached to the top of his head as he searched his memory. “But he said I needed to take away the expectation of completion – hence the ‘not allowed to come’ thing.”

Astarion’s cheeks flushed, his gaze lowering to the ground. “That only goes for my interactions with you, keep in mind… I can still come by myself if need be.”

Tav raised an eyebrow, but nodded, and wrote down the first guideline:

1. I’m not allowed to make Astarion come.

“Okay… and what else?” Tav prodded.

“He said ‘don’t allow your manhood to enter her womanhood’ – language was a bit flowery for my tastes, but you get the idea.”

Tav paused for a moment, contemplating how to word that, then finally wrote –

2. No vaginal penetration.

“Very… scholarly of you,” Astarion smirked, reading over her shoulder.

“I’m nothing if not a diplomat,” Tav winked. “But… touching is okay, right?”

“Everywhere besides where it counts,” Astarion grumbled, crossing his arms. “Technically he said we should avoid genital contact altogether, at least for the first night.”

“Hmmmm… well, technically you’ve already broken that rule, but I suppose we can give it a shot,” Tav simpered cockily.

Astarion clenched his fists at his sides, physically refraining from grabbing her again and smacking her ass once more, and watched as she wrote it down:

3. No genital touching – at first.

“Well, that’s only three things – I think we can manage that,” Tav said. “And I think it’s important for us to celebrate the progress you’ve made in the other regard as well.”

She flipped through the pages of the journal, until finally landing on another page she’d already written.

“What’s that?” Astarion asked.

“This is our step-by-step list for dealing with your… uh, urination troubles,” Tav answered, pausing briefly to consider how to describe his affliction.  

He let out a laugh through his nostrils. “Kind of you to phrase it so delicately, darling.”

Tav grinned. “I was going to say ‘pee stuff,’ but that hardly seemed scholarly,” she teased.

He chuckled, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he read the list, noticing with a twinge of pride that the first four steps were crossed out.

Step 1 – Astarion tells me he has to go

Step 2 – Astarion tells me has to go, goes to piss while I wait for him

Step 3 – Astarion pisses within earshot

Step 4 – Astarion pisses within my line of sight

Step 5 – Astarion uses a chamber pot, bottle, etc with me nearby

Step 6 – Astarion uses a chamber pot, bottle, etc with me in the room

Step 7 – Astarion tells Gale he has to piss

Step 8 – Astarion pisses in front of Gale

Step 9 – Astarion tells the others that he has to piss

Step 10 – Astarion uses public privy

“We can cross these two off,” Tav said, striking her pen through steps 7 and 8. “You managed to do both of those in a span of a week!”

“Ugh, why Gale specifically?” Astarion groaned – but his smile gave him away. “Was this all a part of your dastardly scheme all along?”

“Gale knows what it’s like to be shy in these matters – and he loves you.” Tav stated simply, eyes sparkling as she craned her neck to look up at him.

Astarion’s breath caught in his throat. The word love was complicated enough for him – he had only just become comfortable saying it about Tav, although doing so still brought him a long-taught feeling of shame – as though he were trying to manipulate her.

But to have her describe Gale as loving him – so effortlessly, no less, as though she hadn’t even had to think about it – it filled him with a cacophony of emotion.

Confusion, at the idea of a love that wasn’t bound by instinct – such as that of a mother and child – or romance or lust.

Self-loathing, that he would be the recipient of yet another kind person’s love that he didn’t deserve.

Guilt, for all the times he’d been a snide arsehole to the wizard.

Affection, for all the instances (despite his being a snide arsehole) that Gale had come to his aid – even if in the most obnoxious ways possible, and even when he would rather he not be involved at all.

And finally… determination. Determination to be kinder to the wizard… or at least, to make him know he was appreciated more.

“He’s… alright, I suppose,” Astarion admitted. “I’m glad I’ve never ended up killing him.”

 Tav gave him a playful little smack. “I’d be very mad at you – and I’ll remind you that I am allowed to spank you.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, darling,” he crooned.

Tav chuckled and dipped her quill in the inkpot, and scribbled Halsin’s name next to Gale’s. “But it’s worth noting that you made even more progress than the step originally called for!”

Astarion took another look at the updated list.

Step 1 – Astarion tells me he has to go

Step 2 – Astarion tells me has to go, goes to piss while I wait for him

Step 3 – Astarion pisses within earshot

Step 4 – Astarion pisses within my line of sight

Step 5 – Astarion uses a chamber pot, bottle, etc with me nearby

Step 6 – Astarion uses a chamber pot, bottle, etc with me in the room

Step 7 – Astarion tells Gale he has to piss

Step 8 – Astarion pisses in front of Gale ​      ➔ & HALSIN

Step 9 – Astarion tells the others that he has to piss

Step 10 – Astarion uses public privy

Astarion felt his stomach drop, filling with dread as he looked at the remaining steps. “Oh gods… I hope you don’t have high hopes for the rest of those, darling…”

She set her quill down, closed the book, and met his gaze. “Don’t worry, we’re in no rush. Like I said, it’s a process. There will be good days and bad days, and that’s okay.”

Gods… she was incredible. He truly didn’t deserve her.

“And don’t forget, you’ve already made enormous progress already – there will still be times that you stumble. And that’s okay too. It’s all about finding out what it is you’re afraid of, and learning to overcome it.”

Her words brought him back to several days earlier – in the field, his bladder absolutely bursting as he watched the Mirror Image of himself pissing…

“I really don’t see why you’re so afraid of this,” the specter had said, its foggy, unworldly urine splattering on the grass below. “This is my first time ever doing it, and I have to say, for as unpleasant as the build-up was – this feels ~delightful.~”

“I’m not afraid of it!” he had shouted back, his body lurching forward as his cock screamed to piss.

“You don’t enjoy the feeling, then?”

“No! Of course I do, it’s a wonderful feeling— ughhh… I just can’t do it in front of others! Because… because…”

The stream falling from the visage finally had begun to slow. “Because what?” Mirror-Astarion had probed.

“I don’t know, alright?!” Astarion had wailed. “Because… they’ll know!”

“They’ll ~know?~ They’ll know what, exactly?”

“They’ll know that I need to!” he had cried out, squeezing his cock desperately to keep from humiliating himself.

“But you just said that ~all~ creatures need to, darling,” the image had argued combatively. “Well, those two bumble-headed campmates of yours look to be in pretty dire need as well, you know. And I very much doubt they’ll begrudge you for sharing your need with them.”

Astarion’s mind and body had been completely overwhelmed. “…I know.”

“Hey, cheer up,” the specter had said “You can do it. I know you can do it, because ~I~ just did it, and I’m you!”

Astarion sighed. “I think… I may have realized a few things I’m afraid of, while you were gone.”

Tav took his hand into hers and smiled. “I’d love to hear them, if you feel like sharing them.”

His heart ached for her – her thoughtfulness, her kindness, her… goodness. He looked away for just a moment – furiously blinking and holding his breath to stave off the tears threatening to fall.

He took a moment, then turned to face her once more. “When I was… talking to Gale and Halsin…” he began, “Gale conjured a Mirror Image of me – well, it was really more like a shadow – but they made it have to piss, so I could watch it.”

Tav nodded, urging him to continue.

“And at first they left me alone with it – so naturally, I started arguing with it.”

Tav smiled. “Naturally.”

“And as it was pissing in front of me, it asked me what I was afraid of, and I said…” He winced, the words already sounding pathetic even before he said them. “…I was afraid of them knowing my needs.”

Tav’s brow furrowed with concern, and she gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m eager to know your needs, darling,” she spoke genuinely, softly, supportively.

He had to bite his lips to keep it from quivering.

“It’s just… all of my needs… before… were used against me.” His voice began to waver a bit, but he forced himself to keep going. “They were either used to manipulate me, or mock me, or punish me. And over time it just became easier to… pretend they weren’t there.”

“Everyone has needs, Astarion,” Tav soothed, bringing her other hand up to stroke his cheek.

“I know,” he nodded. “I’ve just… hated myself for so long for them. I’m not sure how to just… allow them to be.”

Tav stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him silently.

He slowly wrapped his arms around her as well, burying his nose into her hair.

“If there’s one thing I learned while you were gone,” he sighed, “it’s that I need you, Tav.”

Tav squeezed him – and without skipping a beat, she said: “You have me.”

“…and that scares the fucking hells out of me,” he hissed, his eyes closing.

Tav was quiet, for a moment, choosing her words carefully. Then, finally: “…Then you can be scared with me beside you.”

They stood there, holding one another in comfortable, tender silence for several moments, until finally he pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes.

“You must be exhausted, darling…” he fussed. “I’m sorry to keep you up so long.”

“I’m alright, the nap this morning gave me a little extra energy,” she insisted.

It was then that he noticed what she was wearing – a heavy long-sleeve cloth shirt with long pants – much more than she usually wore around camp.

“Are you cold, Tav?” Astarion’s brow furrowed with worry. He hoped she hadn’t caught some sort of illness during her travels…

“Not at all, actually…” Tav blushed. “I… had something else to show you, but I wanted to sort out our rules first.”

Astarion’s head tilted to the side inquisitively. “Well, by all means.”

In one lithe motion, Tav pulled the heavy shirt over her head and let it fall to the floor. Then, slipping her thumbs beneath her waistband, she pulled her pants down as well, and stepped out of them.

Astarion felt his breath catch in his throat as he stared at her, his cock stiffening immediately.

She wore a sheer red bra that didn’t so much cover her breasts as slightly obscure them, and matching red shorts scarcely covering more than two finger’s length of skin, with multiple layers of frills that begged to be ruffled.

“I figured… now that we’ve laid down some ground rules, there’s no reason we couldn’t enjoy my purchase from Carm’s Garms,” Tav offered, her mouth stretching into his favorite dimpled half-smile.

“Tav…” Astarion sighed, bringing his legs together in an effort to hide his obvious erection.

“Granted, this was before I knew about our first ground rule – or I might have picked a slightly different selection.”

Here, she thrust her hips forward and spread her legs, revealing the tiny, frilly shorts were indeed crotchless.

A deep, guttural groan escaped Astarion’s lips as he watched the lips of her quim practically winking at him, surrounded – but entirely unimpeded – by the sheer red fabric.

The soft little curls of her cunt called to him like the song of a siren, her silky pink folds on full display right in the middle, as though laid out specifically for him, as the main attraction…

She was truly going to kill him.

He had never wanted anything so much in his long, long life.

“No, no,” Tav tutted, placing her hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t realized he had been moving steadily towards her, his body instinctively bringing him to a kneel in front of her…

She closed her legs, now, much to his chagrin – and took his hands in hers, placing them against her; one on her hip, and one on her breast.

“Is this… some kind of torture?” Astarion groaned, coming to a stand, his hands rubbing against her madly.

“For both of us, it seems…” Tav huffed, her eyes wide and amorous. “But… as long as we stick to our rules, there’s no reason we can’t… still enjoy it, don’t you think?”

“Gods, Tav… I don’t think I can do this…” he uttered, his hips beginning to gyrate towards her in his body’s desperate search for her heat. “I don’t know if I can control myself…”

He was achingly hard, his prick absolutely throbbing near to the point of pain.

He squeezed her closer to him, so that her body was flush against him. To his confusion, she let out a little whine of discomfort.

“Darling? Did I hurt you?” he asked immediately, his hands darting away from her as though he’d been burned.

“N-No,” Tav insisted, squeezing her thighs together. “It’s just… Karlach gave me a few ideas as well, actually…”

“Karlach did?” Astarion raised his brow. “The one who hasn’t been touched in ten years?” Then, after thinking about it for a moment – “I suppose she would be the person to ask, in this case…”

“She mentioned—” Tav began, then appeared to wrestle with her inner thoughts, “–-and keep in mind, darling, I’m not telling you this because I’m particularly interested – so don’t feel as though I need you to—”

“You’re so flustered, darling… I like it.” Astarion observed with a purr. His lips spread into a grin as he watched her stumble with her words – a truly rare occurrence he couldn’t help but find charming. “You can just tell me.”

“…She mentioned,” Tav continued, “that orgasms can be particularly invigorating… with a, um…” Her voice barely more than a whisper now: “…a full bladder.”

Tav’s nerves got the better of her, then, as Astarion blanched in surprise, but said nothing.

“BUT OBVIOUSLY that’s not something I would ever ask you to do!” she insisted, barely pausing between words. “I wouldn’t even enjoy it if I knew you weren’t enjoying it, and of course right now we aren’t even worried about orgasm anyway so it doesn’t matter, but I thought…”

Her voice trailed away, but Astarion took her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Go on…”

“But I thought… maybe it would be… intriguing for you… to see me in that way.” Tav finally concluded. “So I, um… I haven’t peed for… a while, and when you squeezed me just now…”

Astarion blinked, trying to make sense of everything he’d just heard. “I… I see…”

Tav’s stomach dropped, panic building in her chest at his perturbed response. “But I’m realizing now that it was a stupid idea, honestly I shouldn’t even have mentioned it. I’m sorry—”

“It’s alright, my love,” Astarion interrupted her gently. “I’m not upset. I was just… surprised.”

This was… entirely beyond his comprehension. For over 200 years, sex itself had been nothing but an obligation, a performance, a tool by which he lured innocent people into his master’s den. For all of the thousands of lovers he’d had, it had never been about pleasure.

But, ever since Tav, sex had become about pleasure.

And piss… well, that was a different beast altogether. At best, it was an inconvenience he’d had to partake in multiple times a day, just like anyone else – but at worst, it had been a shameful source of pain – a necessity that had been held against him at every turn; something he was taught to be disgusted in himself for.

But with Tav’s help… well, it still was all those things, but hells, he was working on it.

So it was hardly farfetched to think that piss could eventually be about pleasure, especially where Tav was concerned.

But as it was, he still wasn’t entirely comfortable pissing in front of her out of necessity. Sure, it had gotten easier, but she still sometimes had to allow him to get started by himself, when his anxiety was at its highest.

He cleared his throat. “Sorry, pet, I'm...” he paused, not wanting to completely reject the idea. “I'm not quite comfortable with doing this yet...”

Tav beamed at him, eyes welling with pride. She was so proud of him for being honest about his boundaries.

“Don't worry, I wouldn't ask such a thing of you."

Astarion groaned. “Eugh,” he made a mock noise of disgust, “don’t be so nice to me!” he admonished teasingly. “It makes me want to be… nice back.”

She giggled – and it was then that he noticed her subtly squeezing her thighs together.

“But what do you think, darling?” he asked, his voice low and sultry. “Is it… doing anything for you?”

“I’ve never really tried either, but… I must say, the increased pressure does have a certain… heightening aspect… down there…”

Astarion’s pants were unbearably tight.

“I suppose it’s all the more reason that these were the right choice,” Tav said, sending her fingers through the ruffles of the impossibly tiny shorts – under which her cunt was absolutely barren…

He swallowed, his mouth watering at the thought of her tight little folds, wrapped around his—

“Besides, I tested out one of those potions that Shadowheart made for Gale – it seems to have an, erm, hastening effect on the bladder.”

Astarion huffed. “As though Gale needs any help in that department.”

“All the better – Karlach likes to watch him squirm.”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. Astarion’s expression darkened as a painful memory flashed through his mind.

“Squirm for me, boy,” Cazador’s hideous voice haunted him from somewhere just out of reach. “Squirm for your master.”

“I’m sorry, darling,” Tav said immediately, “I shouldn’t have—”

“No… no, it’s alright,” Astarion reassured her, quietly but determinedly. “Don’t apologize. I won’t let him ruin this night.”

He took his hands and ran them through the ruffles. “I… have to admit that such things do increase a certain… sensitivity. In the male organ.”

Tav quirked her hips just a bit. “It… definitely feels more sensitive. It’s not unpleasant… but…” She bit her lip. “That third rule about no touching – that doesn’t apply to ourselves, right?”

He stared at her, awestruck and completely infatuated. “I– uh– …correct.”

She lowered her voice and brought her lips up to his ear tantalizingly. “Good. Because I might have to…”

She lowered her hand down to her folds, and pressed her fingers against her slit, taking some of the pressure off her exhausted muscles.

Astarion’s cock pulsed with need as he watched with bated breath.

“Touch yourself…” Tav whispered. “Since I’m not allowed to…”

His hand shot to his groin immediately, a little whine escaping his nostrils as his cock finally got some attention. His other hand remained on her breast, relishing the feel of the fabric in tandem with her skin.

It was driving him insane.

“Fuck, Tav…” he groaned. “I want you so much…”

Her eyes fluttered up into her head as she pushed her chest further into his grasp. “I know… I want you more…” she slowly began twirling her finger in circles. “This… is reminding me of the day of the wine festival… when you pissed right between my legs…”

“…Did you like that?” Astarion asked, biting his lip.

“…I did… I kept my eyes closed, but I could feel you above me… I knew your cock was directly in front of me, pissing alongside me… and I felt…” Tav keened a little, fingers twitching. “I felt so close to you.”

He moved his hand up and down as his mind’s eye brought him back to that day...

The lips of her cunt had been spread wide open for him, her piss spraying from between them – and suddenly his cock was so fucking hard he couldn’t allow another drop of piss to flow from him…

And he had just stared, watching her womanhood with rapt attention, as she took her relief…

He had ached for her then – even as his own bladder had screamed with need. He had wanted so much to plunge his fingers into her, to kiss her folds and make her sigh his name…

And now, as he stared at her, bringing herself pleasure with her own fingers, he felt himself nearing his own release once again. His bullocks tightened as he watched her…

“I… I need…”  Tav whimpered, and without taking her hand from herself, she reached into the crate of her belongings, making an extra effort to present her ass and quim to him as she bent over.

He groaned, and quickened his stroking.

She pulled out an empty chamber pot she’d recently purchased from a shop near Basilisk Gate. “Just in case…” Tav sighed, setting it down and bringing her legs to either side of it.

Her bladder sat heavily in her groin, adding an extra pressure against her clit as she pumped her fingers. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you, the whole time I was gone…”

“I know…” Astarion hissed through his teeth. “I thought about you constantly…”

She lowered her body over the chamber pot, squatting so that her cunt was directly on top of it.

“Tell me…” she urged, watching his hand move on his cock with arousal and fascination.

“I kept dreaming about fucking you,” he admitted, clear liquid building at the tip of his prick as he neared the edge. “About feeling you coming around my cock…”

“Fuck!” Tav keened, her head falling back as her orgasm washed over her. “Astarion!”

Her bladder released just as her quim began to clench around her fingers – and in an instant, her piss was hissing furiously into the chamber pot, even as her thighs shuddered with overwhelming pleasure…

And – to his own surprise – it was the vision of her thrusting into the air over the chamber pot, little whimpers of ecstasy escaping her lips, that brought him to his climax as well.

Astarion shot his seed onto the ground in front of him as Tav slowly came down from her own release. Finally, they were both panting in exhaustion, with Tav’s stream trickling to a stop – and from the rising sound of the liquid, not a moment too soon.

Then, there was no sound at all, besides their slowing breath.

“Well…” Tav said, grabbing a small rag and wiping herself. “Karlach was right… that was… certainly intense.”

Astarion smiled. “It was… a very intriguing show, as well.”

Tav used the rag to wipe up Astarion’s seed on the floor, then slipped a dressing gown over her. She picked the chamber pot up and took it outside the tent to empty it.

When she returned, she took the dressing gown off once more and came up onto her toes to press a kiss to his lips.

“I… wouldn’t be opposed to trying that with you, you know,” Astarion hummed, cradling her in his arms. “Someday… when I’m not so…” …broken? Weak? Pitiable? There were many ways he could think of to finish the thought.

“When you’re not so tired?” Tav supplied helpfully, effectively banishing any negative thoughts of himself, and ran her fingers through his hair. “Because I’m tired. I’m ready to fall asleep in your arms.”

Astarion squeezed her even closer to him now, his heart swelling with affection. “Yes. I’m more than ready for that.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Gale & Karlach-

Karlach’s hands – larger than his own, and as warm as a bowl of steaming broth on a crisp winter’s morning – covered him completely, engulfing his entire cock in a warmth he’d never experienced before.

“You’ll tell me if it starts to burn, right? I promise you won’t hurt my feelings...” she murmured, her hot breath against his sensitive member causing him to shiver.

“I will… I promise,” Gale agreed quietly, barely maintaining control of himself as the pure sensation threatened to push him over the edge already.

She moved her hands gently up and down – just savoring the tactile feel of it against her skin. Its smooth, warm length…

She was utterly transfixed by the feeling – how the soft skin slid over the hard organ, the way she could feel his heartbeat when she touched the thick vein that ran through it.

A single drop of warm, clear liquid formed right at the tip as she stroked it.

Gale felt a familiar tightening in his loins – how many times had he imagined her doing exactly this?

“Gods, you’ve got the most beautiful cock, Gale…” she said, before bringing her lips to kiss it right on the tip…

“Oh….” His head began to fall back instinctively, but he forced himself to keep looking downward – he didn’t want to miss even a second of the incredible sight of her on her knees in front of him…

“I’ve wanted to do this for a long time, you know,” Karlach said, cupping his balls as she pressed little kisses right to the underside of his cockhead.

“I know,” he sighed, watching her through half-lidded eyes. “Me… too…”

She wanted to feel it on her face, now…

His hands were tense at his sides, as though he was still holding desperately onto his propriety – Karlach wanted to take that tension right out of him…

“It’s alright to touch me, babe,” she said, allowing his cock to lay lazily across her face as she reached her hands up to his wrists. “I’m not made of glass.”

“O-of course…” Gale sighed, entranced at the erotic vision of her nuzzling his cock.

She took his hands and placed them right where she wanted them – one at the back of her head, and one clutching her left horn.

She heard his breath catch in his throat, and gave a sultry little giggle. “There now… like this…”

At that, she slid her hot mouth onto his prick, about halfway to the length of him.

“Ahh!” Gale whined as he was enveloped in her wet heat, her long tongue massaging the most sensitive part of him. “Karlach… oh gods…”

“Hmmmm?” she hummed coyly, eyes looking up at him from under her eyelashes. He groaned as her vocal cords vibrated against him.

She slowly pushed her lips further downward – agonizingly slowly – until every inch of him was in her mouth, down her throat…

She urged his movement on with her hands, and with her encouragement he began guiding her head back and forth, back and forth… He moaned wantonly, his climax building at the base of him with every second… His fingers tangling in her hair…

She brought her long fingernails down to his inner thighs and trailed them down, relishing in the shudder this sent up his spine.

“Karlach…” he warned, his eyes rolling up into his head as he felt his muscles tightening, the very root of him twitching. “Move back… I’m about to—”

But, cruel little temptress she was, she only increased her movements, licking and sucking him with renewed vigor, bringing one hand up to cradle his bullocks and the other to plunge inside of her cunt.

“Gahhh!” he cried out, head finally falling backward as he shot his seed directly into her mouth.

His entire body shuddered as he came, his hands clutching her like a drowning man as he filled her mouth with his arousal.

She drank every drop of him, quaking around her fingers as she found her own release along with his.

Finally, with his chest heaving as his vision returned to him, Karlach came to a stand, bracing him against her as she wrapped her arms around him.

For a moment, they just held each other, allowing their racing heartbeats to slow. Then, Karlach pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, cradling his face in her hands.

She pressed a kiss to his lips, and he tasted the salt of himself on her… it was possibly the most erotic thing he’d ever tasted, knowing he had been on her tongue…

“Drink some more of those potions now, love,” Karlach told him. “You’ll need them in a little while…”

He stared at her with adoration, and nodded – the ability to speak not quite returning to him yet.

Truthfully, he didn’t particularly want more liquid – he’d already drank several of the potions with Tav, not to mention the wine – and now that he’d spent himself thoroughly in her mouth, his cock was beginning to tingle with a different sort of need entirely.

But he would deal with it – at the moment, he was too deliriously happy to care.

~~~

Laying next to her beneath the blankets, under the stars… it was a true, natural wonder – no magic required. And it was rather like having a personal heater. Even laying completely naked beneath their thin quilt, he was perfectly comfortable.

They spoke of their childhoods, their first loves, their first heartbreaks… he told her about his mother, who had given him the Dekairos surname, and she told him about her time in Avernus.

Loathe as he was to interrupt the moment, his bladder was becoming uncomfortably full now –

“Excuse me for just a moment, darling,” he said, lifting himself up from their pile of bedrolls and blankets.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, just um, taking a quick moment in nature,” he said pleasantly, assuming she would understand that he was politely excusing himself and leave it at that.

“Sure you weren’t going to take a piss?” she asked coyly.

Gale felt a flush of heat on his cheeks – he hadn’t expected her to be quite so… direct about it.

Well, while he would hardly have shared the information so freely, he certainly felt no need to lie to her about it, either.

“I… must admit, I was considering it, yes…” he admitted with a shy little smile, scratching his neck nervously.

“Sit back down… you can hold it a little longer.” Karlach hummed and brought her hand up to his cock, which began to swell at the attention.

He paused, slightly taken aback at her objecting to such a commonplace need.

“I’ve… had to go for a while, actually…” he trailed off, the feeling of her hands on his member again making it difficult to concentrate. “Believe me, I wouldn’t be leaving your side unless it was pressing.”

Karlach let out a soft moan – and for a moment, Gale worried he’d somehow offended her. “Pressing, is it?” she whispered.

Gale’s eyebrows shot up inquisitively as he noticed the flames beneath her skin burning hotter. “Is that… turning you on?” he asked, bewildered.

“…Would it turn you off, if it did?” Karlach replied sheepishly.

Gale chuckled, shaking his head as though that were the most preposterous thing he’d ever heard. “Believe me, there’s nothing that could turn me off when it comes to you.”

“THEN YES, UGHHHHH! It fucking DOES, Gale!” she declared emphatically, squeezing her own breasts. Gale couldn’t help but be elated by her unexpectedly enthusiastic response. “I know it’s kind of weird…”

Gale blinked, dumbfounded. “No, it’s not that it’s weird, it’s just – I’ve always…”

Karlach tilted her head to the side beseechingly. “What, babe?”

“I’ve always had a… regrettably small bladder. My whole life, really.” Gale’s face flushed a dark pink. “And I was… eh, rather embarrassed about it… particularly around you…”

“Are you joking? It’s fucking sexy!” Karlach insisted. She was grinning from ear to ear, her skin flushing orange with arousal.

“What, er, is it in particular about it that you find so… fascinating?” Gale asked gently. He didn’t want to sound demeaning, but he truly wanted to understand the specifics – lest he completely humiliate himself.

“I love to see a man’s prick, torn between its two most basic needs… wondering which one will come out first. Seeing him moan when he finally gets his relief…”

Gale cleared his throat. “Well, I’d be happy to help grant you such fantasies, but… what exactly did you have in mind?”

Karlach’s eyes smoldered now. “Hold it for me.”

He squeezed his thighs together slightly. “…For how long?”

He truly did want to indulge her in this, but…

“Hmmm…” Karlach bit back a grin, eyes twinkling at how well he was playing along. “Weeeell… how bad do you have to go?”

He shuffled his feet and looked at the ground, his face blushing bright red yet again, even as his mind told him not to be embarrassed – that this was what she wanted.

“Well, it’s just… I… have had quite a few of those potions that Tav made for me…”

In truth, he was severely downplaying the level of his need.

Really, he had felt the first stirrings from his bladder when they’d first gathered around the campfire – before Tav had even urged him away to her tent.

“Oh, Gale!” Tav had said, coming to a stand and locking eyes with him from across the campfire. “Come with me for just a moment – I’ve got something for you!”

“You shouldn’t have,” he had responded, a bit flustered at the unexpected attention. “And me without anything to give you in return!”

“Nonsense - you and Wyll made us that fabulous dinner! Now come with me!”

“Alright, alright, don’t spill my wine!”

And that point – right when she had pulled him up from his seat – he’d felt the first small twinge from his bladder.

As Tav had lead him away from the fire towards her tent, he had glanced over his shoulder cautiously at Astarion. After the vampire’s little bout of jealousy whilst Tav was away, he worried he wouldn’t take too kindly to Gale being in Tav’s tent alone. But, strangely enough, Astarion just nodded after them pleasantly.

Well, that was a relief. He was happy to have earned his friend’s trust once again.

Once they’d arrived in Tav’s tent, she had immediately begun rustling through her crates of belongings. He could hear the clinking of glassware bumping against itself.

“What’s all this about?” he’d asked.

“I’ve had Shadowheart drum up a few potions for you, using an ingredient we found in the Blighted Village! They should increase your manna capacity permanently!”

“Oh wonderful!” he’d said graciously. “How kind of you, Tav! What are they called?”

“…I… I don’t remember exactly what she called them, actually,” Tav floundered, but held the small bottle rack in front of her proudly. “But I call them Wizard Potions!”

That had made him chuckle. “A truly inspired name. Well, thank you, my dear! I’ll put them in my tent.”

“Oh, but you should drink at least these three tonight! Or… they won’t be as potent!” Tav had insisted, as though she’d nearly forgotten the most important part. “In fact, here!”

And at that, she had emptied three of the potions directly into his wine glass, in rapid succession. “That way you can… use the extra room on the bottle rack!” she explained helpfully.

Gale had raised an eyebrow at her, then. Luckily, he’d only had a few sips of wine left anyway, but… well, whatever. Extra manna was never a bad thing to have.

He’d taken a few drinks of his three-potion-add-wine cocktail, and had barely taken ten steps out of Tav’s tent before he felt another twinge from his bladder – more insistent than the first one by far, in a remarkably short amount of time…

“By the weave…” he had said, wincing at the sudden feeling. “These potions are certainly fast-acting, whatever they are…”

Then, as soon as they’d returned, Karlach had been in her… wildly inappropriate, impractical… enticing new outfit, and… well, he’d forgotten about his bladder entirely.

But now, after having not only spent himself in her mouth, but lying with her chatting for a good long while after-the-fact, the three potions were stretching his bladder to its very limits.

Karlach smirked as she glanced down to his abdomen, which, now that she was looking at it, did look a bit distended in comparison to his usually svelte frame.

“Then just hold it… until you can’t hold it anymore,” she offered simply.

“Right,” Gale said with a nod. He had a feeling that point would be approaching sooner rather than later. “…And, erm… then what?” he prodded gently.

“Then I’ll decide when… and where,” Karlach added with a naughty little wink. “And in the meantime, I’ll make it a little easier to hold it.”

With that, she began to move her hand up and down, rubbing his stiffening cock until it was at its full length once more.

“It’s harder to piss when it’s hard, right?” Karlach asked in a sultry voice, watching him intently under half-lidded eyes.

Gale closed his eyes for a moment, bewitched by the feeling of her hand on his most intimate place. “Y…Yes…” he replied, “…to a certain extent, of course. Eventually…”

She bit her lip desirously, hanging on his every word. “…Eventually?”

“Eventually, it will just… come out…” he concluded huskily. “And being hard just makes it… messier than usual.”

The flames beneath her skin sizzled, the cavern between her breasts shining brightly with newfound fervor. “Fuck…” she gasped, the word barely audible if not for how close they were…

“Gods, Karlach…” Gale sighed, bringing his hands to her skin, taking the opportunity to map every inch of her body.

He’d spent so long wanting to touch her, to feel her skin against his. To have the ability – the enthusiastic permission – to do so now, to his heart’s content… it was absolutely intoxicating. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re not bad yourself,” Karlach teased, staring at him hungrily, and pressed a kiss to his lips once more.

Gale began trailing kisses down her neck, feeling his lips tingle with warmth as he brought her nipple between his lips.

“Fuck, Gale!” Karlach cried out, her hands tangling into his hair. He felt a glimmer of pride that he was able to elicit such a response from her.

He turned his face slightly, just enough to guide his hand down between her legs, then began to flick her nipple with his tongue.

Karlach’s eyes fluttered up into her head as his beard tickled her naked chest.

She made the most incredible little high-pitched whine as his fingers found her wetness.

“Gods… you trying to make me come?” Karlach whimpered – and by the gods, hearing her sound so uncharacteristically delicate was driving him out of his mind…

He groaned against her breast as he felt her womanhood twitch beneath his fingers. “Yes, my love… I’ve wanted to do that for you for so long…”

She smelled incredible – feminine and strong and musky and hot – and the taste of her skin beneath his tongue was causing his cock to dribble with precum already.

“Nnnngh… Gale, inside… please…” Karlach moaned, thrusting her hips upwards, urging him deeper.

He slipped a finger inside of her, his entire hand surrounded by her heat. His cock twitched pridefully at the little sigh this wrought from her.

She was already so incredibly close to coming all over his fingers… she wanted to absolutely devour him.

“Yes!” she squealed, grabbing him around the waist and pulling him hard against her.

A cold wave of panic washed over him as the movement squeezed his bladder, forcing the piss to the very tip of his manhood. “Ooof!” he grunted, his free hand rushing to his cockhead to keep it from leaking.

“What’s wrong?” Karlach huffed, grinding against his hand desperately.

“N-Nothing, love,” he reassured her – but the grimace on his face was less than convincing. “I just… I really have to go…”

Gale’s heart skipped a beat as Karlach’s cunt squeezed around his fingers. “Oh gods…” she keened, her brows arching together.

He truly loved being able to bring her such pleasure, but he felt as though he would lose control at any moment.

“Say it again… Say… more…” Karlach groaned, tightening her grip on his hair as though anchoring herself to the earth.

“I’m… barely holding on, darling,” he admitted, teeth clenched and eyes winced. “I don’t want to ruin your fun, but I- I don’t know how much longer I can—”

A tiny hissing noise against the ground, now – and from the horrified look on Gale’s face, it wasn’t difficult to guess what had happened.

He was so desperate that his piss was leaking … right between her legs, as he fucked her with his fingers.

Karlach had never been so fucking turned on in her entire gods-damn fucking life.

She screamed as she shattered around his fingers, waves of pleasure overtaking her as she climaxed.

Gale squeezed the tip of his cock to the point of pain; he couldn’t bear to interrupt her ecstasy, no matter how frantic his need was.

“What were you saying, babe?” Karlach sighed haughtily as she came down from her peak.

“You said you would tell me when and where?” Gale whispered urgently, bringing both hands to his cock now. The hand that had been buried inside her was literally steaming in the cool night air.

Karlach crawled a couple meters away, so that they were a safe distance away from their blankets. “Come here,” she directed gently.

With a groan, Gale shuffled over on his knees, his vice grip on his cock never lessening.

“Now, stay right here…” Karlach said, positioning the two of them so that they were facing each other, at arm’s length.

Gale’s heart was racing, his pulse gathering at the tip of his cock as his bladder throbbed. Karlach must not realize how dire his situation was…

“You’re… too close, darling,” Gale warned in a pained voice, feeling the last shreds of his control slipping. “M-Move back, or it’ll…”

“Piss right here, Gale,” Karlach directed, lowering herself so that she was directly under his cock.

“What?!” Gale’s jaw dropped open, aghast – then his breath hitched as another tiny spurt escaped him, dribbling between his clenched fingers. “I… I couldn’t possibly—”

Gale was absolutely beside himself. He had assumed she would want to watch him relieve himself, then they would make sweet, slow, passionate love together… But to actually piss on her?

“A gentleman would never… put such disrespect on his lady…” he objected.

But gods, the way she was looking at him… The unbridled passion in her eye…

“Look at my pussy, Gale,” Karlach insisted, breath heaving as she gestured to the apex of her thighs. “Do you see how sopping wet it is!?”

He looked where he was told.

Karlach’s womanhood was an absolute vision – and it was indeed so wet that it glistened in the moonlight. He yearned to taste her…

“I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with babe,” Karlach huffed. “But if you’re worried about offending me, don’t bother because I would fucking love it if you pissed right here…”

Perhaps it was because of her beloved voice, telling his exhausted body to do exactly what it needed most. Or perhaps he had just truly reached his absolute limit.

But at her encouragement, his bladder contracted, and another hiss of urine escaped him.

“K-Karlach… I… I can’t hold it,” Gale admitted pitifully, the charming little wrinkles appearing on his forehead as he gazed at her. “Are you… are you sure you want me to do this?”

“Absolutely, darling,” Karlach nodded, taking his wrists in her hands and pulling them gently away from his groin.

A tiny stream of golden liquid shot from him as soon as his cock was freed. It landed on Karlach’s chest with a sizzle.

Hsssssssssssh.

Gale held his breath, eyes wide with trepidation. He couldn’t believe he’d just done that…

“Mmmmm” Karlach hummed, her eyes fluttering up into her head. “Doesn’t that feel so much better?”

Gods, he was truly depraved… because seeing the effect this was having on her was making his prick as hard as a rock…

“…Not quite yet, I’m afraid” Gale admitted, his cheeks flushing. “I have, ah….”

He bit his tongue, his mind shuffling through all the ways he might convey the severity of his need:

I have an entire ocean inside me, and unfortunately that was but a gentle mist.

My bladder may be small, beautiful temptress, but it’s very, very full…

I need to piss I need to piss I need to piss I need to piss oh gods--

“…more,” he finished lamely.

“Aww… You have more?” she batted her eyes up at him sympathetically… sinfully…

Gale was breathing heavily, focusing every bit of concentration on keeping the urine inside him…

Finally, he nodded.

Karlach took his throbbing cock in her hand and pressed it against her chest. “Piss right here.”

His brow furrowed as he looked down at her, obviously conflicted. “…H-Here?”

He felt ashamed for even thinking about doing this – but she seemed very enthusiastic about it…

And he did have to go – by the gods, did he have to go – it was soon going to pour from him whether he liked it or not… and the ethereal heat of her skin against his exhausted penis was certainly not helping.

“Piss on my tits, Gale,” Karlach begged, rubbing his cockhead against her nipples. “Please,”

“You’re….” he was shaking now, trying desperately to keep it in his cock. “You’re sure?”

He was leaking… each drop of piss that escaped him fell to her skin and evaporated with a steamy hiss, in even intervals…

Drip, hssssssshhh….. drip, hssssssshhh….. drip, hssssssshhh…..

“Fuck… yes, Gale,” Karlach urged him, her other hand fingering herself madly.

His resolve was weakening with every passing second – and every dribble….

He moaned, his face twisting in agony. And then it was beyond his control entirely.

“Gods—oh gods, it’s coming out, I can’t—”

Piss shot from him forcibly now, the incredible pressure inside of him finally overwhelming his aching muscles.

“Ahh!” Gale’s breath caught in his throat.

Steam rose from Karlach’s skin with a satisfying hiss as he drenched her chest, rivulets trickling down her body, droplets alight from her inner fire.

He pissed and pissed and pissed, the urine spraying from his exhausted penis as his thighs shook with the effort of keeping him upright...

“K-Kaaa---aaa----ahhhhhhhhoooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh…” He attempted her name, but it ended up morphing into a throaty groan as hours of potions and wine hissed from him, his body finally allowing his stream to flow at full force.

Gale watched, utterly transfixed, as Karlach pointed his pissing cock across her chest, directing his stream exactly where she wanted it. His hands fell limply to his sides as he surrendered control of his member to her completely.   

His cock was hard now, but his piss kept coming – like a little fountain that split into multiple streams, each sizzling off her as she stood beneath it, relishing in it…

“….Ohhhhh…” he nearly went cross-eyed for a moment, so overwhelming was the ecstasy of relief…

He just kept pissing – he couldn’t remember the last time he’d held this much…

Karlach shuddered as she came, steam rolling off of her in waves.

“Fuck… fuck, Gale… how does it feel? Tell me…” Karlach gasped, rubbing the tip of his penis against her abdomen and spraying his piss all over her torso.

“It… it feels amazing…” Gale sighed, his bladder finally empty enough to begin really feeling the relief. “I… I really couldn’t hold it… anymore...”

A shiver ran up his spine, and Karlach giggled… a sultry, dangerous little giggle…

“You like this, don’t you?” she teased gently, pounding her fingers into herself over and over as she rode out her orgasm. “Your cock is so hard, pissing on me… can you feel how hard it is?” She gave it a little squeeze.

“Y-Yes,” Gale’s face flushed as his hips began to gyrate against her, his stream finally beginning to slow, only to start up again, and slow again…

“You are so unbelievably sexy, Gale, do you know that?” she chirped.

A delighted little shy smile spread across his lips. Thank the gods, it seemed that seeing him in such… compromising positions hadn’t changed her view of him.

“I’m… glad you think so,” Gale sighed. “Because I find you absolutely, enchantingly irresistible.”

Karlach’s quim was utterly satiated – she couldn’t remember ever having such an incredible orgasm…

But even still, as she watched his piss stream finally dribble to a halt, she yearned to feel him inside her completely… to feel the two of them join together as one.

-Tav & Astarion-

Tav had been juuuuust about to fall asleep, Astarion’s arms wrapped around her snugly and Plonk snuggled beneath the crook of her elbow, when she was startled awake by Gale’s voice.

Whatever was happening over in Karlach and Gale’s makeshift tent in the meadow, it was overwhelming enough that Gale had allowed his connection to The Weave to slip.

She felt a single, painful throb of fullness in her bladder –

Then, she saw through Gale’s eyes.

His vision blurred as relief overwhelmed him, but Tav could still see the basic outline.

Karlach knelt beneath him, holding his erect cock in her hand and pointing it at her naked chest as a strong, thick stream of gold sprayed against her, sending steam up into the air with a hiss.

“….Ohhhhh…”  Tav heard Gale’s shuddering voice in her own ears, as though it were her own.

“Fuck… fuck, Gale… how does it feel? Tell me…” Karlach’s voice was high-pitched, frantic in the best way, as she sprayed his piss all over herself and let it trickle down her nipples.

“It… it feels amazing…” Gale answered breathily. “I… I really couldn’t hold it… anymore...”

Tav felt a shiver of pleasure run up Gale’s spine—

And at that, Tav forced her consciousness from The Weave, allowing them their privacy once more.

Then, as quickly as it came, the phantom pressure in her bladder and the image were gone in a flash.

“Tav?” Astarion’s head lifted from the pillow, his eyes blinking and straining to see her in the darkness. “Darling…?”

“I’m… I’m alright, my love. Go back to sleep. It seems Gale just accidentally… left his connection to The Weave open.”

Her lips spread into a cocky smirk, cheeks flushed.

“Oh?” Astarion chuckled, laying his head back onto the pillow and burying his nose in her air. “And did you learn anything from your accidental snooping?”

She giggled as he nipped playfully at her ear.

“Let’s just say… mission accomplished.”

-Gale & Karlach-

Gale’s eyes fluttered shut as his sore bladder was finally empty, the remnants of his liquid evaporating off of Karlach’s skin and disappearing into the night sky.

“Thank you so much… for humoring me,” Karlach moaned, and brought a kiss to his lips tenderly. “I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my whole life…”

Gale beamed. Her praise was music to his ears.

Before he could say anything else, Karlach had pulled him down on top of her, wrapping her legs up and around his waist as she kissed him passionately.

“Are you… worn out, babe?” she huffed, when they finally pulled apart for air. “We can always… save it for tomorrow…”

Gods, she hoped he would say no – greedy as it was, she wanted more of him…

“No, darling,” Gale assured her, bringing his hands up to her face to stare into her gaze. Touched as he was that she was so concerned for him, he wasn’t nearly finished yet.

“I want… I want to show you exactly how I feel about you.” His voice was husky, almost unrecognizable even to his own ears.

Karlach – bewitching little fiend that she was – brought her teeth to his ear and gave a throaty little growl. “Then show me.”

And so he did.

He positioned himself directly between her legs, his breath catching in his throat as he brought the tip of his cock to the silky folds of her entrance.

“Tomorrow…” Gale said, voice wavering as he fought to control himself – every instinct in his body told him to thrust forward madly, to bury himself inside her to the very hilt and pound her cunt until she was filled with his seed. But no – not yet. “Tomorrow I will fuck you like a wild animal.”

Karlach felt her pussy throb with need at his filthy words.

“Tomorrow, I want you to – how was it you phrased it, darling? ‘Ride me til I see stars,’ I believe?” He crooned gently, and let out a little chuckle as she squeezed him even closer to her. “But tonight…”

And here, he pushed himself through the barrier, his eyes rolling up into his head momentarily as her wet heat surrounded him. “…Fuck… Karlach…” he whispered, forcing himself to pause before he got too carried away.

The sound of the expletive on his clever, proper lips nearly made her come again, right then and there.

“Tonight… I want to make love to you,” Gale said simply. “With you…” He moved his hips forward gently, burying his face into the crook of her neck as he rutted into her, deeply and slowly…

She mewled like a she-beast in heat, and he felt his cock twitch eagerly inside of her.

“By the hells, Gale,” Karlach keened, grabbing his ass and pulling him down deeper into her. “I love you so much…”

He brought his lips down to her breast – the one he’d neglected during their earlier tryst – and thrust into her to the very hilt, until there wasn’t a single inch of him that wasn’t consumed by her sex.

“Yes!” Karlach cried out, her fingernails digging into his back with a sweet twinge of pleasurable pain. “More, Gale… please…”

He suckled at her breasts ravenously, his tongue lapping at her skin as though worshipping at the idol of a goddess…

It felt so fucking good… too good…

“You feel… fantastic…” Gale groaned, his hips picking up speed as she began to wriggle beneath him, urging him deeper, faster, further…

“You’re sure… it doesn’t burn?” Karlach’s voice was pitching higher and higher as the pleasure in her center coiled tighter and tighter.

“Not at all,” Gale hissed, his mind barely able to form words as her heat massaged his prick from every angle. “I’ve never… felt anything like this…”

With the hand that wasn’t holding himself up, he trailed his fingers down to where their hips met, and began stroking her swollen bud with fervor – then gasped at the way her cunt squeezed his cock at the sensation.

Karlach felt tears welling in her eyes – they fit together so perfectly.

She’d spent such a long fucking time aching for touch of any kind – then, as she had fallen deeper and deeper in love with Gale, she had ached for his touch specifically…

All the horrible images that had haunted her – her fears of finally taking him to her bed, only to sear his skin painfully at the slightest touch. To try to hold him against her, only to cause him to scream in agony.

The horrible certainty that she would bring him nothing but pain.

But now, as he was finally inside of her… they felt as though they were fated to be together.

He halted his movements immediately, his eyebrows knitting together with worry. “Darling? Are you alright? Did I hurt you?”

“No no, don’t stop. You feel perfect,” Karlach insisted with a sniffle – her smile was so wide as she wiped at her eyes that Gale audibly exhaled in relief.

She squeezed the cheeks of his ass, urging him to continue his thrusting. He chuckled, and obliged.

“Fuck… fuck,” Karlach sighed. “It’s just… I was so worried for so long. But I can’t believe how good you feel… how good we feel…”

Gale smiled tenderly, holding his forehead against hers. “I know… I was nervous as well…”

“About me burning you?” Karlach prodded a little self-consciously.

“About me—” Gale’s voice caught in his throat as his mind caught up with his mouth. He felt a rush of heat to his cheeks.

“What were you nervous about?!” Karlach asked – as though he wasn’t the most handsome man she’d ever seen in her entire life, in Faerûn or in the hells.

“I… well, you know… how men… fret about… things,” he stuttered stupidly, struggling to defend his pride while simultaneously keeping their tempo – and, despite the subject matter, his own release was growing closer and closer…

“Fret about what?” Karlach raised an eyebrow.

“Just… you know… nnnnh….” Gale groaned as Karlach purposely clenched her lower muscles, urging him further towards the edge. “…size, and such. Things of that nature.”

Karlach bit her lip to hold back a laugh – it was absolutely too fucking adorable that Gale had worried about such a thing. Sophomoric, almost, but well-meaning in the most charming way. The same way he’d been worried about pissing on her for fear of “putting disrespect on his lady” or whatever the hells he’d said…

“Well, you worried for no reason,” Karlach hummed, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Because you are the perfect size for me, Gale. Literally perfect.”

Gale had to hold his breath for a moment, to keep from letting out a sob.

If this were a dream, he couldn’t bear to wake up. Would rather die than wake up.

He quickened the pace of his thrusts slightly, and covered her mouth with his own in a slow, intimate kiss.

They rocked back and forth like that for some time, his movements increasing in speed and pressure as she urged him on with her little sighs and pants.

To his shame, he was already beginning to feel the familiar tightening at his core.

It was quick… too quick—

“I-I’m sorry, darling, I’m… close…”

“Me too, baby!” Karlach shuddered breathily, pushing her hips upwards to grant him he best possible angle of access. “Fuck, I’m almost there… I want you to come inside me, Gale!”

And, just as his name was finished falling from her lips, he did.

“Karlach!” Gale cried out, muscles spasming as his cock pulsed inside of her, filling her with his thick, sticky spend.

The searing muscles of her quim milked every drop from him, urging his hips to pump wildly into her, his body moving completely on its own as his mind fogged with overwhelming, all-encompassing pleasure.

Karlach screamed so loudly that her voice echoed off the mountains.

They collapsed, exhausted, in each other’s arms, still connected by the silky strand of cum that reached from the tip of his softening cock to the inside of her womanhood.

It had been… indescribable. Incredible. Everything he’d ever dreamed it would be, and more.

“If things were different, if we were home, I'd have taken the time to do things properly. To say it all better… but time is short… I'm in love with you,” he said, burying his nose into her hair, his cheeks warmed by her flame.

“I’m in love with you more,” Karlach said coyly, as though lying down a winning hand at a card table. “So there.”

A breathy laugh escaped through his nostrils, his eyelids already becoming heavy.

They’d barely had the strength to crawl their way back into the tent before they fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-The Next Morning / Day 24 of Being Friends-

It was exceptionally rare for Tav to wake up before Astarion – at least, not without him being in a terrified stupor as she wrenched him from a nightmare.

But now, as he lay next to her, his porcelain face was completely at ease as he slept. Plonk – the Owlbear plush he’d won for her at the circus – was squished beneath his face as a makeshift pillow, as Astarion lay on his stomach and snored ever-so-softly.

Tav ran her fingers over the upraised scar tissue on his back, her own eyes threatening to slip closed once more as the morning sun trickled in from the cracks of the tent, warming their skin.

He had once been so secretive about his scars – hiding a deep-seeded anguish beneath the beguiling laughter of a sycophant.

It had taken a long time for him to even acknowledge the scars to begin with – much less allow her to touch them like this.

She remembered the very first time she’d seen his back. It had been a morning quite like this.

She had awoken to the sound of birdsong – and the prickles of twigs beneath her naked skin.

As she opened her eyes, Tav slowly came to realize she was lying in the meadow outside of camp – and the memories of the night before came flooding back to her.

They had finally done it – she and Astarion had finally acted on their desires. And it had been wonderful, if not a little… restrained.

But where was he now? She was certain she’d felt him sleeping next to her earlier throughout the night...

Her sleepy gaze had finally locked on him, his body turned away from her as he soaked in the morning sun.

It was then that she’d noticed the savage, ancient-looking Infernal rune that had been viciously carved into his skin – long since healed over, but no less painful to look at.

She lifted herself up from the grass. “Not staying for a cuddle?” she’d asked gently.

“…You sleep light,” Astarion crooned in pleasant surprise, turning his face back towards her to make himself heard. “I thought you’d be exhausted after last night.”

Tav had been slightly taken aback at the distance he was putting between them – perhaps he was regretting their evening together…

“Did you enjoy it?” she asked a little self-consciously. “It felt like you weren’t fully there…”

“I was… holding back a little, it’s true…” Astarion admitted, still not fully turning to face her. “I didn’t want to lose control.”

Tav felt her shoulders ease a bit at the tone of his voice – he didn’t seem stand-offish so much as… reserved. Shy – if such a thing were possible for the elf – perhaps even a bit self-conscious as well.

“Delicious as you were, I didn’t want to go… too far,” he concluded.

Ah, of course. Tav blinked, slightly embarrassed that she hadn’t realized it before. He was a vampire, after all – his desire for blood likely brought its own set of complications to his other physical desires.

“Now, shall we get on? I want to go before anyone else thanks me for saving their tails…” Astarion offered.

“I want to ask about your scars first,” Tav had said, coming to a stand behind him. “Where’d you get them?”

For just a moment, he was silent. Then, finally, “It’s a poem. A gift, from Cazador,” he had answered, his voice laced with disgust. “He considered himself quite the artist and used his slaves as a canvas.”

Tav had felt her stomach churn with revulsion – a sudden, overwhelming hatred for the sick son of a bitch she had never met, but was determined to destroy.

“He composed and carved that one over the course of a night,” Astarion continued disdainfully.

Then, his voice was small – barely more than a whisper, and Tav had to strain to hear him: “…He made a lot of revisions as he went.”

Tav swallowed, trying to keep a handle on her emotions. Much as she’d like to release a stream of expletives on Cazador’s name, that might not be conducive to Astarion’s current mental state.

Instead, she asked, “Why did he write it in infernal?”

Astarion turned toward her now, brow raised in alarm. “Infernal?” he repeated. “I –” he trailed off, then suddenly pursed his lips, dismissing his train of thought. “Who knows? The bastard was insane,” he said dismissively.

“Anyway, enough pillow talk,” he continued in the same breath. “Let’s go, before the tieflings drag us into another mess.”

And with that, he had begun walking back towards camp, not looking back to see if she was following him.

And, even as they continued their sordid little affair, she had never mentioned his scars again.

Until one particular day, months later, when she happened upon him reaching desperately behind his back, tracing the scars with his fingers.

“I – F – or is it an E?” Astarion had mumbled to himself. “Is it even a letter?”

She had crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side.

“I thought you didn’t care what Cazador wrote on your back?” she asked.

“Ah!” He had startled, whirling around to face her, his expression sour at having been caught unawares. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

Tav had wilted a bit, her eyes falling at his reproach. “Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”

He looked at her contritely, his voice softening. “Wait – I’m sorry. You caught me by surprise, that’s all…” he explained, holding his hand out to stop her from leaving.

“I’ve… been tracing the scars on my back with my fingers, trying to read them by touch,” he explained. “…But I can’t,” he concluded, disgruntled. “They may as well be written in Rashemi…”

Tav raised her brow curiously. “Let me have a look.”

Astarion had looked at her warily – strange, she thought, since they had already slept together many times by this point. This should hardly be considered taboo.

“I –” he began, then let out a little scoff, as though frustrated to even be having this conversation in the first place. “This isn’t your problem, you know,” he warned.

She raised an eyebrow at him, as though daring him to question her again. “I know,” she said simply. “Now shut up and turn around.”

In spite of himself, he felt a stirring of desire at her cocky little expression…

“…Fine,” he conceded – but he held her gaze for just a moment longer than was necessary – his gaze cautious and annoyed, but… warily hopeful.

And beneath the hope… yearning… almost… a hunger.

As Tav reflected on the memory now, she realized what his expression had reminded her of - a story from a picture book she’d been read aloud, long ago, as a child.

A parable of a mighty lion, brought to his knees with pain by a sharp thorn in his tender paw.

And a meek little mouse, compassionate enough – foolish enough, perhaps – to pull the thorn from the lion’s paw, even while knowing the lion could devour him without a second thought.

In that moment, staring at her from across the campfire, that is what Astarion had been.

A lion, trapped in his despair – begrudgingly revealing his weakness to the timid little mouse he could so easily destroy – yet depending on her for his salvation…

He had turned away from her, and stood in silence as she tried to read the inscription.

“…And?” he prodded after several agonizing moments of silence. “What does it say?”

Tav brought her hand to her chin in contemplation. “It’s not a poem. It might be a part of a devil’s pact.”

Astarion had turned to face her once again. “An Infernal pact? But not even the whole text?” Then, to himself more than to her: “…What was that bastard up to…?”

Tav’s gaze had drifted to the crackling fire. “If he did make a devil's pact, he's more dangerous than we thought."

“More dangerous than you thought, perhaps,” Astarion corrected haughtily. “I never had any doubt. But if this is part of a contract, it must be powerful… or valuable…”

A slow, scheming smile had spread across his lips. “…Or both.”He raised an eyebrow. “No wonder he wants me back… what have I run off with…?”

His eyes had drifted away for a moment. Then, remembering himself, he had turned back to her. “Thank you, by the way. This is…”

He paused for a moment, and Tav couldn’t help but hold her breath.

“…Well. It’s something,” he finished.

Feeble though his thanks may have been, Tav could see how much it had taken for him to give them. So she met his gaze head-on, her voice full of conviction.

“We’ll figure it out,” she had said with finality. “I promise.”

He looked at her incredulously, his voice adopting his usual undertone of playful derision. “Will we?”

Then, he searched her gaze – although for what exactly, she couldn’t be sure.

“How… sweet,” he concluded – brow furrowed, as though he couldn’t quite believe it himself.

But the corner of his mouth had quirked upward just slightly enough for her to notice.

Her fingers ran gently up and down his back, following the ridged curves of the inscription.

And finally, there had been that horrible night, not so long ago, when his siblings had tried to take him back to Cazador…

When they’d fought them off, just to have Astarion fall into a fitful sleep in her arms – and had awoken hours later to his worst nightmare yet, the bedroll soaked with his sweat and urine.

The way he had sobbed in agony – and she had held him with every ounce of strength in her body.

He had allowed himself to break – and she had been there to pick up the pieces.

When they had finally returned to his tent, freshly bathed from the river, he had at last fallen asleep to the sound of her humming softly, tracing his scars as though deciphering a map.

“…Does that hurt?” she had asked quietly, prepared to move her hands immediately if he wished her to.

“No…” he’d sighed, his eyes closed contentedly. “Feels… nice…”

And now, as he lay beside her once more, she repeated her movements just as she had that night.

What an incredible honor it is, she thought, as she listened to his even breathing in tandem with the soft buzz of nature waking up, to be able to soothe this pain for him.

~~~

He loved it when she scratched his back.   

For as small and delicate as Tav’s fingers were, they were impressively adept at giving him goosebumps.

As his consciousness slowly returned to his sleeping body, he felt a fond smile prick at his lips.

Tav…

He opened his eyes – and his smile widened to a grin as his vision cleared – and there she was, her sleepy face smiling back at him.

She was there – finally, he wasn’t dreaming – Tav was really home. She was waking up next to him, once again.

He closed his eyes again. “Careful, darling…” he chided dreamily. “I’m liable to lay here all day if you keep doing that…”

“Who’s complaining?” Tav asked, scooting herself in closer so that her face was nestled just beneath his. “I could do with a nice long do-nothing day, myself.”

Astarion was almost deliriously happy – and brought his arm to cradle her head, stroking her hair while being careful not to put too much weight on her. “I did miss that face, you know,” he sighed, closing the remaining distance between them and capturing her lips softly with his.

“Tav!!!” Wyll’s frantic voice sounded from somewhere outside the tent.

Astarion let out a long, exasperated groan. Gods, what he wouldn’t do for some uninterrupted time alone with Tav… without their bumbling campmates to sneak up on them…

But Tav, of course, ever-vigilant to their companions, was alert in an instant. “Hold on!”

She had thrown her clothes on and run outside before he’d even managed to pull himself up out of the bedroll.

He walked out to see Wyll frantically shouting at Tav and gesturing towards the horizon – specifically, Baldur’s Gate.

“We have to go immediately, Tav,” Wyll pleaded. “We could be too late already!”

“What in the hells is going on?” Astarion grumbled, bring his hand up to shield his eyes from the morning sun.

“I just came from the city – Counselor Florrick is set to be executed!” Wyll answered.

Astarion blinked. “Right! …Sorry, dearest, which one was he again?”

“She!” Wyll shouted back furiously. “She’s my father’s head advisor! She’s our best chance of saving him, we have to get her out!”

Tav nodded her head solemnly. “He’s right. We’re gonna need all hands on deck – I’m going to wake Karlach and Gale up – you guys get packed. There’s not a moment to lose.”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Gale & Karlach-

Gale Dekarios was nothing if not a creature of habit.

Every day since he was a boy, he had awoken at the first tune of birdsong, with his bladder urging him from his bed.

When he was in his tower in Waterdeep – where he had a private privy all to himself – this usually only required taking a few steps from his bedroom to the washroom. Usually wearing only his smallclothes, or fully naked if he wished (unless his tressym was nearby, of course).

However, since traveling with Tav and the others, his morning necessity usually meant trudging a few meters away from his tent – after slipping on enough clothing as was necessary for the weather.

But now, as he woke up in Karlach’s arms – relieved beyond belief to find that the night before had in fact not been a dream – he found himself straying from his usual routine.

Despite the chill of the morning and their nudity, Karlach’s body kept him perfectly warm. He might actually enjoy camp life, if there were mornings like this in his future.

“Karlach…” he whispered sweetly.

She snored softly, but didn’t move.

He smiled. “Kaaaarlach…” he gave her a gentle little shake, his voice jovial.

He may as well have been pushing against a brick wall, for all the good it did him.

Karlach grumbled in her sleep and nestled her face against his chest, but otherwise remained as still as a statue.

By the gods, that was adorable…

Well… he could hold it a little longer.

~~~

Gale was able to drift off again for a short while longer, the slow rhythm of Karlach’s breathing practically hypnotizing him back into slumber – but eventually his bladder woke him up again, more insistently this time.

“Karlach, darling…” Gale raised his voice. “Please, wake up.”

“Mmmmm….. no.” Karlach murmured, squeezing him a little tighter.

Well, at least she’s awake… That’s progress.

“I need to get up, my love…” he repeated himself with a wince.

“Too comfy…” Karlach hummed without opening her eyes – but she was rubbing her palm gently on his torso, twirling the hair on his chest around her fingers. His manhood was stiffening a bit at the pleasant feel of her skin against his.

Gale placed his hand over hers, lacing their fingers together with an affectionate squeeze.

“Believe me,” Gale crooned, “I don’t want to leave your side, for even a moment. But, needs must…”

The pressure was becoming painful – his body didn’t appreciate the change in its well-kept schedule. He prodded her gently with his fingers, imploring her to hurry.

“Needs must what?” Karlach yawned, slowly trailing her hand down to his lower abdomen…

 “It’s an expression for… ah…”

Karlach wrapped her hand around his cock, which was quickly swelling to its full length now.

“I’ll…. be right back… darling…” he reassured her, his voice wavering a bit as he watched Karlach’s hand work his cock up and down. Despite his words, he made no attempt to move. “…I promise…”

“What could you possibly need to do that’s more important than this?” Karlach breathed seductively in his ear, giving the girth of him a little squeeze.

“I have… to… ohhh…”

Karlach grinned as she watched his eyelids flutter shut, his lips falling open on his words. It was so rare to make Gale speechless, and she had discovered a bloody fantastic way of doing it.

“…I have to… to pee, darling…” Gale forced himself to complete his thought, even as he felt his bullocks tightening with anticipation.

“…Oh,” Karlach blinked. Being a creature of the hells, her water intake – and output – was much lower than a normal human’s to begin with – much less a particularly small-bladdered wizard.

Maybe that’s why I find it so damn sexy…

“Duh. Sorry, love.” Karlach leaned forward, rolling the two of them over so that they were both on their side, her body wrapped snugly behind his. “Well, luckily for you, we’re already outside…”

She held his cock forward, so that it pointed directly onto the grass next to them.

Even as she did so, the soft, pillowy heat of her hand surrounding the length of him urged him to sway his hips back and forth… just a bit… almost imperceptibly.

Gale felt his cheeks flush. “It’s… hard to argue with that logic…” he chuckled shyly. “But… s-stop moving, it… feels too good…”

“That’s you that’s moving,” Karlach retorted, flashing him a wide grin.

“…Ah, so it is. My apologies.”

Begrudgingly, his hips halted their movement.

A tiny stream sprayed from his bellend, and his breath caught in his throat as his muscles clenched automatically to halt the flow. His body wasn’t used to allowing itself relief without being in front of a privy or chamber pot – or a tree… or an empty crate in an abandoned garden shed, under dire circumstances…

“Mmhmmm, that’s it. It’s alright. Let it go,” Karlach said encouragingly.

With a long, breathy sigh, he willed himself to relax.

Gale felt a pleasant tingle up his spine as his bladder began to release, his stream thick but erratic as it forced its way through his hard cock.

“H-… Haaaaaa….” Gale let his head fall back against Karlach’s as the tension left him.

“That must feel so much better…” Karlach sighed, pressing little kisses against the back of his neck.

His cock twitched in her hand, causing the stream to splutter – but still, it continued.

“It does…” Gale agreed, letting his eyes drift closed. “I usually go earlier in the morning but… I usually don’t have such compelling company, either…”

“You’re so sweet…” Karlach hummed, slowly continuing to stroke him even as he pissed.

“GALE! KARLACH!” Tav’s voice snapped them from their bliss.

Karlach dropped his cock immediately, sending his piss spraying down his leg. She pushed herself up and off of Gale, coming to a stand and breaking out into a sprint in an astonishingly short amount of time.

~~~

-Tav-

Given the impromptu message from The Weave she’d accidentally received from Gale last night – thinking back on it now, it still brought a flush of color to her cheeks – Tav knew that their plan to finally get Karlach and Gale together had been successful.

And, if it had been up to her, she would have been more than happy to leave them to it – sequestered from the rest of camp and exploring one another’s bodies over and over again, for as long as they wanted – or at least until it was Gale’s turn to do the dishes.

But, cruel as the universe was, necessity dictated they be interrupted immediately – loathe as Tav was to do it.

She was mentally preparing herself to walk in on them fucking like animals as she trudged through the meadow, and inhaled sharply to shout for them.  

What she hadn’t been prepared for, however, was to see Gale’s naked cock pissing – for the second time in half a day.

The two of them had rolled out of their makeshift tent and onto the grass, and Karlach was spooning a very flushed Gale – both very much naked.

Gale’s cock was completely hard as Karlach held it aloft, his piss spraying from it in a warbling stream.

They both looked absolutely elated – deliriously happy as they found the simplest joys of touching each other… just being together.

Tav bit her lip, her eyes welling with joyful tears for her friends.

…

…Gods… Gale certainly had a hefty stream…

Before her devious mind could follow that thought, she forced her eyes away. “GALE! KARLACH!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, purposefully making her footfalls as loud as possible to signal her approach.

Karlach let out an exaggerated gasp as she heard Tav’s voice, dropping her hold on Gale and pulling herself to a stand.

“Agh!” Gale cried out, wriggling desperately to his hands and knees, no doubt pissing on himself in the process. He crawled furiously the few meters into their tent, hiding his nudity where Karlach seemed to be embracing hers.

“TAV!!!” Karlach screeched in delight. “OH MY GOD!!!! YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!”

“I KNOW!” Tav’s voice jumped several octaves as well as she ran towards the naked tiefling, the two of them bouncing up and down giddily at their victorious plan. “I TOLD YOU!”

“He told me he loves me, Tav! And I love him too!”

“That’s amazing! Congratulations!” Tav turned toward the tent, her eyes shining. “You did it, Gale! I’m so proud of you!”

“Th-Thank you, Tav!” Gale called out awkwardly, his voice strained. “I’m afraid I’m, er, a bit indisposed at the moment.”

His cock was almost completely soft now – and it had been interrupted mid-stream. He pinched the tip and allowed himself a full-body wriggle, knowing he was out of sight.

“Gods, as soon as I saw you in those panties, I knew he was done for!” Tav giggled.

“You were right – the purple silk was perfect. Couldn’t keep his hands off.”

Gale felt his cheeks flush. “As cute as you ladies are with your gossip out there, is… there a reason why you—”

“It was SO FUCKING GOOD, Tav, FUCK, why’d you have to come stop us? We were just about to—”

“Oh right!” Tav’s face blanched. “Oh gods! We need you guys to come with us immediately! It’s urgent!”

“Right, yes, well, speaking of urgent—” Gale interjected weakly, peeking out of the tent.

“Gale, just pop ‘round the tent!” Karlach said with forced patience. “It’s just Tav for gods’ sake. She’s seen you piss before.”

Gale was glad to be hidden from sight, because his mouth dropped open in awe. How in all of Faerûn did she know that?

Cruel, cruel women… he thought affectionately. Chatty little hens.

“Is it going… to take very long, Tav?” Gale asked finally, trying – and failing – to sound casual. “I could just teleport away for a moment—”

“It’s fine, Gale, just go behind the tent!” Tav sounded flustered, eyes frantic. “You need to hear this! Time is of the essence!”

At the insistent tone of Tav’s voice, Gale dashed out of the tent in a blur of flesh, holding his crotch with both hands and running clumsily on bare feet behind the tent. “Right, sorry!”

Then, a very quiet “Oh, merlin…” said on a sigh – and the sound of a stream puddling onto the grass.

 “Counsellor Florrick has been sentenced to execution, and she’s our best chance of saving Duke Ravengard,” Tav explained in her tactician voice. “Wyll’s absolutely beside himself. We’re going to need everyone to help us bust her out of Wrym’s Rock.”

Her voice adopted a gentler tone. “You know I wouldn’t interrupt you two if it wasn’t important.”

“Got it. We’ll be ready to go in fifteen,” Karlach said, nodding. “I’ll be happy to smash into a prison wall or ten!”

“Thanks, you guys,” Tav smiled, turning on her heel. “Pack light!”

~~~

-Tav & Astarion-

Astarion, in the blustering haste of getting all their gear ready and waking up the rest of their companions, still hadn’t had time to take a piss this morning.

This was an issue that was becoming harder and harder to ignore, as Tav led them through the chilly morning towards Wyrm’s Crossing.

“So, we’re clear on the plan?” Tav was walking backward as she addressed them. He’d always found it so incredible, how she did that – almost as easily as if she were walking normally. Her nimble, acrobatic presence was liable to tangle him into knots – and he was a rogue of over 200 years.

“Me, Wyll, Shadowheart, and Halsin will split off and search the north and east walls of the fortress for weaknesses,” Jaheira recited.

“Astarion, Gale, Lae’zel, and I will take the south and west walls,” Karlach piped up, “and you’ll come alongside us until we find a weak spot, then we start swinging!”

“Half of you will start swinging,” Tav corrected pointedly, “while the other half takes the tour of the prison from the inside. Once we have a feel for the place, I’ll get myself arrested.” She grinned. “Shouldn’t be too hard.”

Astarion stifled a groan – he hardly relished Tav’s plan, but she’d never steered them wrong before.

Besides, he’d already spent a good amount of time arguing against it – and, frankly, he’d lost.

“Gods, said with the same blasé attitude as if we were running to the market on the way home!” Gale fretted.

“But first and foremost – we find this supposed weak spot.”

Astarion nodded. “Granted, I’ve been out of Cazador’s… commission for a while, but I do know that some of the… under-dweller types mentioned an easy way of slipping into the back rooms of the prison, if one knew where to look…”

~~~

The plan had gone off without a hitch thus far – the weakened point in the corner of the fortress had been rather shoddily patched up with some plywood and a rudimentary camouflage spell, but it was no match for them.

Between Jaheira and Halsin providing them with the cover of foliage, Gale and Wyll masking their activities with shields and invisibility spells, and Karlach and Lae’zel’s hammers and pickaxes, they’d found their way into the prison’s delipidated supply room virtually undeterred.

By the time Tav, Astarion, and Shadowheart returned from their complimentary tour of Wyrm’s Fortress (courtesy of Lord Gortash’s most esteemed secretary), everyone was in high spirits. And it was barely noon!

“We’re getting too good at this whole adventuring thing,” Shadowheart tutted, picking at her nails. “At least when it doesn’t involve alien tadpole mind flayers, I mean.”

“Don’t relax just yet,” Astarion warned. “I recognized the foul stench of wet dog the moment we crossed the prison threshold – they’ve got Werewolves prowling through the cells. I saw one in the hallway.”

Tav crossed her arms. “Enhanced security everywhere besides the easily accessible holes in the wall. Gortash truly never disappoints…”

Halsin’s brow furrowed with concern. “Werewolves are not creatures to be taken lightly. Their sense of smell rivals that of a bear, and they can hear sounds imperceptible to most humanoid ears.” He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “We’ll need to be as quiet as we possibly can. Perhaps only the stealthiest of us should actually venture inside, when the time comes.”

Tav nodded. “Right. In that case, Astarion, Jaheira, and Lae’zel, you sneak inside and wait for me to be booked into the cells with Florrick. And Halsin – you stay right at the weak spot – close enough to hear if we need you, but still able to Wild Shape as a bear and run outside if need be – that’ll be our alibi if the hidden entrance is discovered.”

“And you’re sure she’s down there?” Wyll implored anxiously. “Counsellor Florrick?”

“The wizard elf lady with the Flaming Fist? The one from Wuakeen’s Rest? Yeah, she’s down there,” Shadowheart confirmed. “Head still intact.”

“Thank the gods…” Wyll sighed.

“As soon as I get arrested,” Tav continued, “Florrick and I will huddle into the corner of the women’s holding cell. You guys have to take her out first, then come back for me once you’ve got her to Halsin and Gale, who will teleport her back to camp.”

“Why can’t we take you both at the same time?” Astarion asked tersely. Leaving Tav alone completely was hardly his idea of a foolproof plan.

“A completely empty cell will be easier to spot than just one prisoner missing.”

“Next time you see me, I’ll be in jail,” Tav announced to them cheekily. “See you on the other side!”

Astarion felt a wave of trepidation threatening to overwhelm him. This was a simple mission – they’d be back in camp in a matter of hours. This was nothing compared to what they’d dealt with so far.

…And yet…

Something… something just felt wrong.

“Tav…”

He sighed forlornly, his gaze locked on her.

She turned to him expectantly, flashing him that brilliant little half-smile with his favorite dimple.

His breath caught in his throat, heat rising to his cheeks as he realized he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say.

Don’t go.

Be careful.

I love you.

Don’t leave my side – live in abject fear of every shadow, every moment of every day.

Be miserable and afraid, just like me.

He had the urge to kiss her – but, with the rest of their companions watching them so intently, it felt… wrong. Performative, somehow.

Besides, he would see her again very shortly. He was being paranoid.

“…Do take care of yourself,” he obliged her finally, his forehead creasing with worry.

She gave him a little wink, and he felt his chest contract painfully.

“Portare!”

And then she was gone.

~~~

Carmen Pennygood, owner of Carm’s Garm, had finally finished renovations from the damages done to her store – wherever “The Esteemed Wizard Gale of Waterdeep” was, his estate was a fair bit poorer for having paid for the wreckage he and his vampire friend had caused.

So, when Tav walked in, Carmen had half a mind to cast a fire spell on her on the spot – would have, too, if it weren’t for the potential harm to her new floors…

“I know, I know!” Tav said, holding her hands up in surrender. “I’m probably the last person in the world you want to see right now.”

“What was your first clue?!” Carmen demanded, pointing to the “DO NOT SERVE” poster with a rather crude depiction of Tav’s face scrawled on it.

“But I need you to do something for me…” Tav continued, deploying her most adorable, pitiful-wounded-animal eyes.

“Do something for you?!” Carmen spat furiously. “I’ll call the bloody Steel Watch on your arse, that’s what I’ll do for you!”

Tav grinned. “Excellent! Because this is a robbery.”

With the cadence of someone deciding which pastry to choose, she plucked a quill from the front desk, held it aloft, and sat happily down on the floor with her legs crossed beneath her. “I’ll be stealing this pen, I’m afraid. So, if you’d like to go ahead and call them now…”

~~~

Astarion had spent plenty of time in captivity. The cold, dusky, damp surroundings of Wrymrock Prison were hardly anything new to him – particularly since he was currently hidden safely away in the catacombs behind the main prison hallways, with none of the guards any the wiser.

At least until the Werewolves start to make their rounds…

He had briefly made eye contact with Counsellor Florrick from her cell bars, but he dared not speak unnecessarily.

Jaheira and Lae’zel were on either side of him, just barely out of his line of sight but still easily within reach.

Now they just had to wait for Tav…

Gods, it was agonizing.

Not just because it was cramped, and damp, and dreary. Not just because he felt almost ill with worry, having Tav out of his sight this close to Baldur’s Gate, with Cazador lurking behind every corner…

But because he’d been holding his piss since… gods, since the night before.

And now, with nothing to distract him – nothing to do but wait, completely still, completely silent…

…Shit…

He was realizing what an enormous problem he had on his hands.

He couldn’t risk sneaking off somewhere to piss – didn’t dare to leave his scent anywhere the Werewolves could pick up.

Not that it would matter anyway – he could never piss with so many people around. The very thought of it made every muscle clench with revulsion.

No, he would just have to wait.

Please hurry, Tav…

As if he needed another reason to miss her.

~~~

“Throw ‘er in there!” a loud, oafish voice bellowed as the prison chamber doors were opened.

Astarion held completely still, not even daring to breathe. Was it her?

One of the guards flung Tav into the holding cell as though she were a sack of rubbish.

She made a tiny little mewl of pain as she hit the filthy ground, and Astarion felt his chest ache.

His fingernails cut sharply into his palms, his hands clenched to his sides as he forced himself to keep calm.

That guard was fucking lucky that Astarion couldn’t reach him at the moment…

He was imagining himself wrist-deep in the bastard’s innards when Tav’s voice broke his concentration.

“F-Florrick?”

He was so awash with relief he felt his knees buckle. She was okay.

Counsellor Florrick’s expression visibly lightened. “Gods, am I glad to see you.”

You and me both, Astarion thought.

“TwO pReTtY laDiEs to lOOk aT!” a drunken voice warbled stupidly. “LuCky Me!”

The dwarf, lying face-down in the cell across from Tav and Florrick’s, had been mumbling to himself intermittently since they’d arrived. There had been a collective sigh of relief when the old goon finally passed back out in his stupor.

“Well, for someone they’re sending to the gallows, they certainly don’t think you too dangerous to be with the would-be shoplifters,” Tav told Florrick, trying to keep the mood light. “And the drunk tank.”

The Flaming Fist ignored her attempts at humor completely. “I owe you for this,” Florrick said solemnly. “But wait until they shut the door again…”

And so, they all waited with bated breath until the sound of the chamber doors closing echoed through the damp halls.

In an instant, Astarion walked through the false arcane wall separating the cell and the inner catacombs, which eventually led to their hidden entrance.

He had his arms around her before she could even speak.

“You worry too much, darling,” Tav whispered into his ear, her smile pressing against his cheek. “I told you I’d be right back.”

“Indulge me, my sweet,” he hummed back to her, pulling back just enough to look her in the eyes. “I was deprived of you enough this past tenday.”

Tav gave his bum a playful little smack – causing him to give a brief little grunt of discomfort.

Now that she was safely in front of him once again, his bladder was first and foremost on his mind once more.

Oh, gods, the fullness was unbearable…

She raised her eyebrow tentatively, concern on her face – but one look at his expression and she knew what was wrong.

“We’ll be back at camp soon, darling,” she murmured so quietly that he barely heard it, even with her lips right against his ear. He nodded, gesturing with his hand for her to get a move on.

“Now, as quietly as possible,” Tav said just a bit louder, partially turning towards Counsellor Florrick once again, “Astarion, Jaheira and Lae’zel are going to take you to Halsin.” Then, to Astarion, “Once they’ve teleported back to camp, you and Lae’zel can come back for me.”

“WHaTcHEr TAlKiN BOuT OvER ThErE? SpeAK uP,” the sauced old dwarf called out between hiccups.

“Go. Now,” Tav concluded, then turned her attention fully to the dwarf. “What’s your name, kind sir?” Tav called across the dungeon to him exuberantly, with the showmanship of a natural-born entertainer. “I always love to hear the perspectives of my fellow traveler, when I find myself in Wyrm’s Crossing!”

And, as seamlessly as if they had known each other for years, Tav was merrily making nice with the belligerent old man, while Astarion, Lae’zel, and Jaheira pulled Counsellor Florrick into the shadows with them.

~~~

“Let’s go,” Astarion insisted to Lae’zel, his eyes still blinking rapidly as he adjusted to the setting sun. The newfound breeze against his face brought with it an ominous omen – the smell of foul, matted fur… the Werewolves.

“Ch’k! Watch who you’re barking orders to, elf,” Lae’zel chuffed. “Let’s at least be sure the wizard manages to teleport the Counsellor back to camp—”

“Good evening!” Gale greeted Florrick enthusiastically. “Welcome back to society! I’m here to deliver you to freedom!”

“There, you see!?” Astarion grabbed Lae’zel by the wrist and pulled her back into the darkness of the fortress with him. “Let’s go!”

~~~

Astarion felt his stomach coil into knots, despair gripping every muscle in his body as the musk of Werewolves affronted his senses.

Lae’zel caught up with him seconds later, the githyanki unusually silent as their situation became clear.

The dungeon was completely empty now, except for the drunk old dwarf who was dozing off yet again.

“Where is she!?” Astarion demanded viciously, eyes widening in horror.

“WhOzZAt?” the dwarf asked with a yawn.

“The woman who was just in here! The bard!”

“Oh HeR!” the dwarf nodded. “GuaRd DogGiE cAmE n’ SnIFfEd HeR rEaL gOoD. TheN a gUaRd cAme n’ tOOk her!”

“Astarion…” Lae’zel warned him cautiously.

“Go get the others and meet me upstairs. Now,” Astarion told her resolutely.

And with that, he held his hand aloft, using one of the limited spells he knew. “Inveniam viam!” He cast Misty Step to the other side of the bars, and sprinted at full speed toward the stairs leading up into the fortress.

~~~

“Pardon me!” Astarion shoved his way to the front of the queue at the front desk, ignoring the multiple curses and obscene gestures this earned him. “I’m looking for my wife, she was brought in earlier on some sort of ridiculous shoplifting charge? I’m here to bail her out, but she’s not in the cell!”

The fortress staff member looked entirely non-plussed. “Yeah yeah, very funny, buddy.”

“What?” Astarion sneered, quickly losing his patience and gripping the man’s shirt by the neck. “I can assure you, there is nothing funny about this situation.”

“You’re out of your mind, pal!” the clerk seethed, wrenching himself away. “You just came in here five minutes ago and posted bail for her!”

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

“BaStArD KiCked mE frOM tHe puB!”

The dwarf in the cell across the hallway grumbled, scandalized, as he concluded the long, epic saga of how he came to be thrown in the drunk tank.

“Such an ordeal you’ve been through, my friend!” Tav sympathized enthusiastically. Her mood was significantly lightened now that Counsellor Florrick was being safely taken to their camp.

“AsS-Bol-U-tE-.. -hic-.. Ly! I TOld tHat WhoEr’zmumm—mmmmmmmmmmm….”

Mercifully, it seemed that he’d fallen asleep again. Tav let out a sigh of relief.

It wouldn’t take Astarion and Lae’zel long to return for her, but she’d stuffed some rocks and rags into the thin, filthy bedroll in an attempt to look like Florrick was sleeping, just in case.

But Astarion would be back soon. And then they would finally be able to rest.

Her thoughts drifted to what she’d seen earlier that morning.

There had been a peculiar, yet wonderful intimacy between Gale and Karlach – a level of trust that was rare to see – when Karlach had held his cock as he took his morning piss.

Tav’s heart squeezed. She desperately hoped Astarion would be able to feel that level of trust with her, someday. He’d already come so far.

Astarion was really incredibly strong-willed, for as weak as he thought himself to be.

For as weak as Cazador had made him think he was.

It could take years – decades, even – for him to become comfortable enough with himself to share that with her in the same way—

…

Tav scolded herself for such frivolous daydreaming. There was no sense in girlish fairytales, if they were doomed to become mind flayers at any moment.

And, even without the mind flayers, she was assuming Astarion would want to continue travelling with her that long.

Astarion had been turned in the prime of his life – only a few years older than Tav was now, from what he’d told her. He’d been a high magistrate – a scholar of the law who dealt in logic and reason and justice. Then, he’d spent over two centuries being physically and mentally powerless under a corrupt patriarch.

He deserved freedom – true freedom, unencumbered by the obligations of a long-term partnership.

She had no right to expect forever with him. Would be cruel to even ask for it.

But damned if she wouldn’t love him while she had him.

She felt her chin quiver and squeezed the bridge of her nose to the point of pain, anchoring herself to the present moment.

Tav let out a startled yelp at the sound of the chamber door opening – then, approaching footsteps… and the padded footfalls of a beast.

“Right, let’s make this a quick one, eh,” an unfamiliar voice said.

“Yessss… Go home to Master after this,” growled another. “Brings a treats for Master. Promises, will have fresh meat, then. All we can eat, bloody and raw!”

“Might not have a great selection this time ‘round – one of ‘em’s set for execution.”

Tav, in a moment of quick thinking, took off her clothes – leaving just her thin undershirt and smallclothes underneath – and shoved them into the bedroll along with the rocks. She held herself over it, as though huddling close to the person inside for warmth, and silently prayed the guards wouldn’t look too closely.

“This one! This one here!” barked the second voice with newfound excitement, just outside of her cell. “Opens up!”

Tav froze, heart pounding. Gods, no…

“Alright, hold on,” the first voice grunted disinterestedly – then, the clanking of metal as the bars were unlocked and opened.

In an instant, Tav was assaulted by an enormous, wet, snuffling nose, running up and down her entire body invasively.

“Mmmm… snff… mmmmf… Not sure…” the voice grumbled.

Tav’s entire body shook, but she didn’t dare move a single muscle – even as she cried out in pain as the creature’s claws scratched viciously into her inner thigh as it opened her legs and smelled her—

Hot bile shot to the very back of her throat, but she held her breath and forced it down, her entire body flushed with humiliation. She could feel three trickles of blood travel down her leg, pooling at the seam of her panties.

“Hmmm… close door… must ask the boney one…” the beast decided, and finally retreated.

“Ugh, whatever. Come on, then,” the other guard grunted, locking the cell once again.

Tav held her breath for so long she nearly passed out – but finally, the chamber doors shut behind them, and she let out a shuddering gasp.

The tears that had blurred her sight, threatening to spill over, finally ran down her cheeks. She could hear the rush of blood in her ears as her vision slowly cleared.

She was almost soothed by the sound… until she realized it wasn’t quieting, even as her heartbeat slowed.

It wasn’t the sound of her blood rushing at all - it was the sound of running water.

She was pissing herself, she realized.

Like Astarion, she hadn’t pissed since the night before – hadn’t even had a moment to think about it, in all the commotion of rescuing Florrick.

Her exhausted body was taking the relief it could wait no longer for. She didn’t bother to try to stop it – was even comforted at the momentary warmth, the almost cleansing feeling after having been violated by that hideous creature—

“Aw… s- s’OkAy, LaSs,” the dwarf hummed sympathetically from somewhere far away. “EvR’y’ne haS aCcIdeNts.”

Tav sniffled. “Thank you…” she whispered genuinely, comforted at the kind words.

Astarion would be here soon.

They would go back to camp.

They would be home—

…

She must have dozed off, because she was startled awake – not by Astarion, but by the guard that had come in with the Werewolf.

“Up and at ‘em, missy,” the man chuffed mildly. “Someone’s posted your bail.”

~~~

“Hello, darling!” Astarion flashed her a toothy grin as she was led, hands clapped in irons, upstairs and into the office of Wymrock Fortress. “Caught with sticky fingers again?”

She’d never been so happy to see him – which was impressive in and of itself, because she was always happy to see him.

Granted, she’d expected him to just sneak her out of the prison the same way he’d snuck in, but she supposed doing it this way would clear her of any future escaping-from-custody charges.

That’s the magistrate for you, she thought fondly.

She blushed a little, in spite of herself – she was certain she smelled like wet dog, piss, and blood, to say nothing of her appearance.

But, more importantly, she felt a flash of worry, silently begging Astarion to remain calm. Knowing his temper, he was likely to lose his mind when he saw the condition she was in, and the last thing they needed was to make a scene when they’d just busted someone out of prison...

Please, Astarion, she begged silently, don’t throw a fit, let’s just get out of here.

But Astarion seemed completely unphased – and Tav couldn’t help but be impressed. He wasn’t usually so good at masking his emotions – or at least, his anger. Anger, he could do.

It was almost as if he didn’t notice anything was amiss – as though she wasn’t standing there in front of a stranger, in freezing piss-soaked panties and covered in dirt and dried blood.

“There you are, my good man,” Astarion set a handful of gold pieces on the counter leisurely. “If you would remove her shackles, please.”

Well, he was certainly acting strangely, but she was just thankful he wasn’t ripping the guard to pieces. She rubbed her sensitive wrists as soon as they were free from the cuffs.

“Free to go,” the guard said, holding back a yawn.

“Come on, my love, let’s get you home,” Astarion soothed, wrapping his arms around her and leading her out of the fortress.

“Where’s Lae’zel?” Tav asked, trying meekly to pull her shirt down over her panties.

But he didn’t answer. Instead, he grabbed her briskly by the shoulders. “Impero tibi!”

And she was surrounded by blackness.

~~~

When she opened her eyes, Tav’s arms were pinned firmly to her sides, a thick, dry rope wrapped around her torso in several tight layers. She was sitting in a cold, stone room, surrounded by the smell of excrement, mold, and decay.

A skeleton in a dingy, rusted coat of armor stood in front of her, holding onto the end of the rope as though she were a beast being traipsed through a market. It stared at her with hollow, empty eyes.

“Portare!” Tav cast the spell reflexively – but it was no use. Her magic was completely drained.

The skeleton laughed cruelly at her futile attempt. “Wakey wakey, little girl,” he trilled, voice crackling like sand in a desert. “One of the master’s mutts told me he smelled a particular stink on you – the stink of a little lost lamb of ours.”

She had to be tactical about this – one wrong move, and she was dead.

Better to attract flies with honey…

Tav forced herself to give the skeleton a civil little smile.

“Sorry sir, I don’t think I caught your name. To whom am I speaking?” she asked, as though they were colleagues in a bookstore.

The ghoulish voice cackled from the skull. “Such a polite little bitch for my kennel. What a pleasant surprise! I am Godey – loyal servant of the esteemed Cazador Szarr, and Head Disciplinarian of these fine Czarr Kennels.” He held his boney arms out appreciatively, gesturing to the surrounding squalor.

Tav felt her blood turn to ice at the name – Cazador – but forced herself to remain cordial. “Ah, I’ve heard of your master! Wonderful to meet you. I couldn’t help but notice that I’m bound and naked, did you notice that as well?”

“Godey is nothing if not a gentleman,” Godey said, and pointed towards himself. “You’re still wearing your filthy panties.”

Tav felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Enough talk – tell Godey what you know of Astarion.”

Tav swallowed – leverage. She had leverage here. She had information they wanted, or she’d be ripped to pieces by now.

“I most certainly will – but to Cazador himself, if you don’t mind,” she replied pleasantly.

“You don’t make demands of Godey, little girl. Godey is perfectly happy to let the mutts have their way with you.”

“Well, I doubt Cazador would appreciate that – particularly since, as you just said, I know where Astarion is.”

“Hmmmm…” Godey clacked his fingers together in contemplation. “Smart little bitch, aren’t you? Godey can see why the little lamb is so taken with you… Besides these, of course.”

His cold, brittle finger bones flicked her nipples, twisting them painfully.

She bit her lip, holding in a whimper – she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction–-

“Stop! Please!” she cried out finally, pulling against the ropes as much as she possibly could.

The skeleton moaned – a sick, sadistic sound of pleasure – but finally released her aching breasts. “Very well… follow me, little girl…”

With that, he turned on his heel and yanked the rope harshly – Tav hissed as the friction of the rope burned her naked skin, and followed.

~~~

Tav’s feet padded on the freezing stone floor as the skeleton led her into an enormous chamber. Hundreds of rusted hanging cages, with corpses in varying states of decay, hung from the ceiling, dangling over an endless plummet into an eerie, glowing mist of green.

Several staircases spanning across the cavernous drop came together to a gargantuan platform, with ancient runes carved into gold and marble.  At the very center, a tall wizard with a twisted black arcane staff stood proudly in front of an intricately carved stone coffin, held aloft on an auspicious marble pedestal.

The wizard – Cazador, Tav realized – raised his brow as he watched them approach.

Tav had never asked Astarion what Cazador looked like – when she’d imagined the horrible torture that Cazador inflicted on him, her mind’s eye had always pictured Astarion himself, screaming in pain and shaking with terror. The sick, demented lunatic that was actually doing it to him had always been a formless, almost ethereal creature – like a myth or a legend in his own right.

She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but… he was just a man.

Halsin could rip him in half without so much as a grunt.

But of course, it wasn’t his physicality that was a threat. Nor was it his magic, really – although his magic was palpable. Tav could feel it radiating from him.

But Tav and her companions had magic, too. Magic was found all over Faerûn.

No, the greatest threat Cazador posed lay in the horde of souls he had under his thumb – whether they be vampire spawn literally under his mind control, or the poor Baldurians unwittingly held under his political influence.

It was his power. His control.

For that was the true currency of a madman: the level to which he could control those weaker than him.

“He reveled in having power over me,” Astarion had told her once.

Gods, she’d give anything to go back to that night, to see his face once more, before she died… even though it had been twisted into a snarl at the time.

“Because those with power can do whatever the hell they want.”

These words rippled through her, chilling her to the bone.

The way Cazador looked at her now – sadistic joy, yet somehow… detached. A fox toying with a wounded bird before finally granting it death.

Her only chance was to play to that power. To feed the ego. To offer him the opportunity to further his sadism.

Otherwise, he would have no reason to keep her alive.

With this in mind, she forced her face to remain neutral.

“Now this is unexpected.” Cazador crooned. His voice sounded deceptively elderly, in contrast to his sickly pale skin with an unsettling lack of wrinkles.

“You, who follow on the heels of our poor, lost son. Has he sent you here to parley on his behalf?”

He spoke like an aristocrat, with an accent similar to Astarion’s – which made sense, after being his captor for over 200 years. His tone was prideful, sophisticated.

“Godey brought her in from Wyrmrock!” the skeleton stated proudly, tugging on Tav’s ropes. “Gheris Hhune said he smelled Astarion on her.”

“Indeed he did – I can smell him all over her,” Cazador agreed, eyes burning with fascination. “I smell piss, as well… you might need to spend some extra time house-training this one, Godey…”

Tav’s face was as still as a stone – knowing everything she knew about Cazador, he found a particular pleasure in such humiliation – and she refused to engage. Simply cleared her throat.

Undeterred, Cazador continued.

“…And here I thought he had sent her as a carrier pigeon, but apparently not. Will he not even speak to his own family?”

“You're not his family - you're a monster,” Tav said matter-of-factly – then silently scolded herself for doing so.

But the bastard just grinned back at her. “What is family, if not monsters we are obliged to love?”

Tav clenched her teeth to the point of pain, but kept her expression light.

This will truly be the performance of a lifetime… she thought bitterly. One way or the other…

She forced a coquettish little grin to spread across her lips. “Luckily, I am not above laying down with a few monsters, from time to time…”

The vampire’s thick black eyebrows quirked upward with renewed intrigue.

A centuries-old vampire, but still a man, after all…

“No, obviously not,” Cazador simpered, abandoning all illusion of pretense and staring openly at her naked breasts now. “Such a pity that that’s been unable to happen for such a long time… I’ve never known my boy to fail in regard to the bedroom.”

Tav held her tongue, hoping she didn’t appear as angry as she felt.

So Astarion was right – even with the mind flayer’s influence, Cazador had been watching them… at least in some capacity.

But she couldn’t let him see how much this had shaken her. She opted to just move on.

“ He's not coming - and you can't complete this ritual without him.”

Cazador smirked. “And you are certain he will not come to me?”

“Be serious,” Tav urged incredulously. “He’ll die before he goes back to you. You’ve tormented him for centuries.”

"That is why he will come back to me - because he yearns to be with his people. Because this is all he knows, oh-ho-ho!”

Tav was speechless – the son of a bitch was chuckling.

“Oh, you have been an interesting distraction for him, no doubt,” he conceded amicably, “but your time together is over.”

And, in spite of everything – there was a flicker of doubt in the wizard’s eyes. She saw it.

Tav tilted her head to the side good-naturedly. “Hmmm. Maybe.”

She was silent for a moment, allowing the thought to simmer.

“Or maybe you don’t know him as well as you thought you did...”

Anger flashed across Cazador’s face, now, his red eyes glowing menacingly as they pierced through the surrounding darkness. “You presume to know the boy better than I? I, who made him?”

He swept his hand through the air furiously, his voice demanding. “Tell me, then - what is he feeling? Right this moment, in whatever rathole he is cloistered?

Tav thought about Astarion – how he was almost certainly panicking, having returned to the jail cell only to find her missing.

How long had it been, since she’d been taken from the prison? How long had she been unconscious?

She could just picture that little wrinkle above his eyebrows – the crescent moon that appeared whenever he was worried… or when he was sighing her name…

That little wrinkle was probably on his face constantly now – and likely had been ever since he discovered her missing.

“…Oh, he’s probably bricking it,” Tav answered honestly.

~~~

-Astarion-

“Try it again!” Astarion pleaded, pacing furiously and wringing his hands raw. “Gods dammit, try it again!”

“I’m trying, Astarion, I’m trying!” Gale held his temples as he tried desperately, yet again, to connect with Tav on The Weave – to no avail.  

“We’ll find her, Astarion,” Lae’zel reassured him, even as her own voice was tight with panic.

“He has her, gods dammit!” Astarion tasted blood in his throat as he screeched. “He could be anywhere!”

In a last-ditch effort, Astarion allowed the tadpole to take over his mind – if there was any chance his parasite could connect with hers…

Hot, agonizing pain seared through his head as the tadpole wriggled in his skull.

Nothing.

He tried once more, screaming in agony and frustration as he grappled for a connection to her – to hear her voice, to feel her presence, anything—

Take my fucking brain, worm, just let me talk to her--!

But there was nothing.

“Split up!” he demanded finally, addressing the rest of his companions. “No one fucking rests until we find her!”

~~~

-Cazador-

“…Oh, he’s probably bricking it,” the bard woman answered finally – and Cazador had to admit, that response had taken him by surprise.

“How…” he huffed, swallowing a laugh. “succinctly put.” His lips spread into a wide smile as he accessed his connection (limited though it had been, since the little wretch had managed to escape him) to Astarion’s mind.

Even through this depleted connection, the boy’s anguish immediately obvious. And it was delicious. Palpable – all-encompassing. Frantic.

“Indeed, he is terrified,” Cazador grinned, relishing the sniveling little cretin’s despair. “Because all he has ever known is you and me, and without us, he is nothing.”

Under different circumstances, he could have almost felt pity for the poor, stupid woman – she had likely fallen head-over-heels in love for the vapid, selfish little prick, just like the thousands before her. She probably thought she’d truly made a difference.

But she had no idea how weak he was. The way he squealed and cried and pissed himself like a squirmy little piglet – his blusterous façade shattered the moment he felt that first lucious prick of pain.

“When you do not return from this place, he will want to flee,” he continued. “He will want to leave this city and all its horrors behind. But he won't. He will come here, because he knows nothing else. Because he is incapable of anything else.”

Really, it was fortuitous that Godey had tracked her down – it would be much easier to lure the bastard back to him now…

“Perhaps he convinces himself he can save you, perhaps he slinks back like a beaten dog. It does not matter, either way he will return. Either way he will be mine.”

The bard woman blinked. “Well, I might actually have a way of making it easier. If you let me go, I could bring him to you. I can save you a lot of trouble.”

Ah… now that was interesting.

It seems she wasn’t quite as head-over-heels as he’d assumed.

“You would turn on him? How delightfully treacherous. I thought you were truly in love – that you were helping him ‘find a new way of life’ and all that drivel.”

“That might be what he thinks,” the woman smirked. “But it’s like you said – he’s incapable of giving me what I really want.”

Well, well! What a delightful turn of events. He only wished Astarion could have heard it himself.

His cock hardened, aroused at the delectable cruelty of it all. “Really? And what’s that, my dear?”

The devilish woman’s expression matched his now – lustful and conspiratorial.

“Immortality,” she answered, voice husky. “He’s just a spawn – he can’t make me a vampire. But if I were your spawn… I could live forever.”

He took a step closer to her. “You could indeed.”

Poor, stupid little tart… she had no idea what she was signing up for…

“I could live an eternity under the greatest vampire lord who ever lived – the Ascendant Cazador Szarr himself.” Her eyes shone up at him reverently.

Curiouser still…

What could possibly be sweeter than turning Astarion’s lover into a spawn, dependent on him in every way? The little songbird that had somehow caused him to stray from the nest, caught in his talons?

How could it get any more brilliant than that?

Why, by having her be in on it – to secretly work with her against Astarion.

The anguish in the boy’s face when he realized the levels to which Cazador had been in control all along – that he had been duped by BOTH of them.

Nothing could truly be sweeter than that – unless…

Unless he betrayed her as well. At the very last second, when she thought she would be his mistress forever, he would crush her like a bug in front of Astarion’s sniveling face.

They would both die knowing who had been the wiser.

He couldn’t stand it – it was too wonderful.

“Hmmmm…” He brought his hands up to her tits and gave them a squeeze. “You would make a rather beautiful mistress of the dark, I must say…”

She let out a little whine, eyes wincing in pain. Her nipples appeared swollen and bruised – Godey must have been a little too rough with them.

He twirled them between his fingers absentmindedly as he considered her offer.

“Perhaps we can talk about you becoming my spawn… after you’ve returned that toy of mine you’ve borrowed. Then I’ll know if I can truly trust you, darling.”

She batted her eyelashes at him charmingly. “I look forward to it.”

“Hmmm... Very well, I give you one chance. Return with my wayward boy, and perhaps I will let you live… eternally.”

“Would you mind terribly releasing me from these ropes?” the woman asked. “Not sure where my clothes ran off to, but if I could have something to wrap myself in…”

“Ah, of course,” Cazador nodded. “I would hate for you to think me a bad host, my dear.”

He turned to the skeleton, who was listening intently. “Godey, untie her and give her something to wear, then see her safely to the door.” He turned back to the woman. “But first…”

He waved his hand, freezing his staff in the air. Then, he knelt down, slipping his fingers beneath the waistband of her panties, his hands resting on her hips. The feel of her pulsing hot blood on his cold hands was sinful, and he allowed himself a groan.

The woman’s breath caught in her throat, and her pounding heart began to beat even faster. His cock throbbed at her fear.

“I’ll take these off of you, since they’re soiled,” he reasoned, and grinned as he sloooowly slid the damp little cloth down her legs, revealing her dainty quim  - and three large scratches on her inner thigh, likely given to her by one of the over-zealous beasts.

“Oh, but it looks like you hurt yourself, didn’t you?” he tutted sweetly – and pressed his lips against the scratches. He inhaled deeply, licking the dried blood from the healing wound as he went.

She whimpered – whether in arousal or abject terror, it mattered not. She was delicious.

“A kiss always makes it better, don’t you think?” he whispered huskily, his lips only a breath away from the soft curls of her cunt. He felt her shiver.

Satisfied, he brought himself back up to a stand, and took his staff from the air. “Terribly sorry – my manners are truly lacking. What was your name, beautiful?”

“Tav,” the bard answered shakily. “Thank you, my lord.”

“Well, Tav,” he smiled sweetly, holding her discarded panties aloft and making a show of placing them in his pocket. “I look forward to spending more time together soon.” Then, before dismissing her with a wave of his hand: “But cross me and, I promise you, I will deliver you an eternity of suffering. I hope we understand each other. Now, go.”

~~~

-Tav-

Tav had no memory of being untied and given the shabby, threadbare robe she now wrapped around herself – nor did she have any memory of being escorted out of the palace.

It wasn’t until she was a fair distance away from the looming castle that her thoughts returned to her. In a graveyard, fittingly enough.

She began vomiting immediately, her body doubling over with overwhelming relief and leftover dread. She’d escaped – she was alive.

But she was riddled with guilt and shame, in equal measure. She had been deceived – grabbed, and sniffed, and licked. She had planned a coup against the man she loved—

Oh gods – Astarion.

Cazador would certainly use the images of their encounter to torment him – would place the images of her in captivity in his head, only for him to run willingly into Cazador’s grasp to save her—

That couldn’t happen. No matter what, she had to stop that from happening.

With the tiny amount of magic her body had managed to regenerate, she made a desperate, grasping connection to The Weave.

“Gale! GALE!!!” her voice screamed, echoing through her head as the sound of rushing wind filled her consciousness.

“………v….?.......Ta…… y… ou?” Tiny bursts of Gale’s voice crackled in her skull.

“..y… ife!.... I’m….. o.. ife?” A different voice… Astarion’s?

“Gale! I’m here!” she cried out – whether in her head or with her mouth, she wasn’t sure.

“Tav?! Mystra’s mercy, where are you!?” Gale demanded, his breathless voice fraught with worry.

“I’m okay! I’m coming back to camp! Listen to me—”

“TAV?!” She heard Astarion’s voice, manic and frenzied, through Gale’s ears. “IS IT HER?!”

Her eyes filled with fresh tears at the sound of it, and choked back a sob.

“We’ve been searching everywhere for you, Tav! For hours! Are you alright?” Gale shouted.

“I’ll be back soon – I don’t have much time! LISTEN!” she insisted. “I need you to keep Astarion from leaving camp, okay? No matter what you have to do. It’s a matter of life and death, Gale. Do you understand me?”

“We’re not at camp, Tav! We’ve been searching for you—”

“Where is she!? TELL ME!” Astarion’s voice demanded louder now, seething.

“Take him back to camp and keep him there! Tell him I’m alive, and I love him, and I’m on my way back. But no matter what he says, no matter what he sees in his head, do. not. let. him. leave! Promise me, Gale!”

“I—I suppose—” Gale began, before Tav’s magic was depleted completely and she was left in silence.

For a moment, she could do nothing but stare at the ground in front of her.

Then, her legs gave out from underneath her, and she allowed herself to cry.

Her body shook in waves of despair as she sobbed and wailed, rocking herself gently back and forth.

Finally, she picked herself up and began the trek back to camp – planning to stop at the river on the way, and scrub herself raw until there wasn’t even a hint of Cazador’s smell on her skin.

Chapter Text

Bold = Direct game quotes

-Gale, Halsin, & Astarion-

“Have you seen my wife? She’s about yea high? … Please, I’m looking for my wife!”

Astarion’s body was moving all on its own – which was helpful, since all coherent thoughts had been replaced with agonizing, crippling terror.

Gale and Halsin followed close behind him, asking more specific questions and providing details as needed – but he hardly knew they were there at all.

It could be anyone, not just any of his siblings. Any number of these citizens could be secretly working for Cazador. He had connections with every figurehead in Baldur’s Gate.

“So sorry, he’s beside himself with worry!” Gale apologized hastily as he helped a grocer pick up the dozen apples Astarion had just knocked off of his cart. “You haven’t seen a bard woman come by here, have you?”

Then, suddenly, the slightest crackling sound, deep in his temple… and an interrupted whoosh of wind—

“…ale!... G….le!”

Gale froze in place, his chest seizing with cautious optimism as he focused his mental energy solely on The Weave.

“Tav? Is that you?” He sent his thoughts into The Weave, hoping beyond hope that he’d heard correctly—

“Gale! I’m here!” Tav’s voice was shrill and wavering, but it was her. Thank the gods—

“Tav?! Mystra’s mercy, where are you!?” Gale clutched his chest as his racing heart finally began to slow to its normal speed.

“I’m okay! I’m coming back to camp! Listen to me—”

~~~

It was at this point that Astarion realized Gale had gone silent – and noticed his awestruck expression as he listened intently to something only he could hear.

“TAV?!” Astarion screamed, grabbing Gale by the shoulders. “IS IT HER?!”

But gods dammit, Gale just stared blankly forward, brow furrowed in concentration.

Please, whoever you are, Astarion prayed to anyone – anything – any gods who might be listening. Please just let me find her. I’ll do anything.

“We’ve been searching for you—” Gale spoke aloud now, although it seemed as though he hadn’t meant to.

Astarion couldn’t stand it any longer. “Where is she!? TELL ME!”

Halsin ran up behind him and placed a steady hand on Astarion’s shoulder, causing him to yelp. “Hold on, Astarion – if you break his concentration, we might never find her.”

Astarion’s eyes widened, jaw quivering – but he went completely silent, absolute horror settling in his gut.

Gale let out a gasp, and shook his head as the connection was lost.

“What did you see, Gale?! Was it her?!” Astarion asked immediately.

Gale looked at Astarion, then to Halsin, then back to Astarion.

No… gods, no… was she…?

“GODS DAMMIT, GALE, TELL ME!” Astarion demanded, his eyes welling with tears.

With that, Gale grabbed hold of Astarion’s arm with one hand and Halsin’s arm with the other. “Portare!”

~~~

Camp was eerily silent as the three of them were transported just outside the cozy gathering circle of the campfire, only steps away from Gale and Astarion’s neighboring tents.

“Voco virtute!” Gale held his hands outward, magic surging from his palms as he cast a Globe of Invulnerability around them.

“What in the hells are you doing?!” Astarion hissed. “Where is Tav?!”

“Halsin, I need two thick sets of vines,” Gale directed the druid, then met Astarion’s gaze, and aimed his hands towards him. “Ad lapide!”

Astarion felt his entire body seize up, from his neck to the bottoms of his feet – leaving him completely paralyzed from the head down.

Halsin’s face was pained, but solemn, and he held his hands aloft immediately to do as he was told. “Vinum est et gloriat!”

In an instant, two mighty stalks of vines grew from the ground on either side of Astarion. They tangled his wrists and ankles in their grip, anchoring him to the earth and providing Gale’s Hold spell with backup when it inevitably wore off.

Astarion’s gaze flitted between his two companions-turned-captors.

Halsin stared at Gale expectantly, eyes wide with bewildered concern, while Gale’s were resolute and focused…

…They weren’t looking at him… Why would they not look at him?

Unless...

Astarion felt himself die, just then.

Every ounce of strength – of joy – of hope – disintegrated in an instant, leaving him a hollow, crumbling husk.

She’s dead.

She had to be.

Tav was dead, and they were afraid to tell him. They were trying to keep him from killing himself—

Astarion let out a piercing cry – the shriek of a dying animal. Anguish, sorrow, misery, hatred – a sound so chilling that it shook Gale and Halsin to their very core.

“She’s alive, Astarion!” Gale reassured him at the top of his voice, desperate to ease the tortured expression on Astarion’s face.

“What?!” Astarion’s tearful eyes widened madly, a drowning man looking for a port in a storm.

Halsin, from where he stood a few meters away, concentrating on the vine spell, lurched forward with relief. “Oak Father be praised…”

“She’s okay!” Gale insisted a little too loudly. “I’m sorry, but she told me we had to do this! She made me promise to not let you move a muscle!”

“Where is she?!” Astarion looked as though he could spit venom, eyes furious and lips curled back into a snarl.

“I don’t know! But she’s alive, Astarion! She said she’s on her way back to camp, but that you’re not to leave under any circumstances!”

“You’re certain it was her?!” Astarion panted, his whole body numb with relief… exhaustion…

“Yes, my friend. I’m sorry, but she told me—”

Gale stopped himself for just a split second. The words Tav had used were “a matter of life and death,” but he doubted very much that that would provide Astarion any comfort.

“… she told me that I had to get you back to camp immediately, and keep you here. I didn’t have a moment to lose.”

Halsin brought a massive hand up to his own face to wipe away a few stray tears. “Gods… I thought my heart was going to stop…”

“What did she say, exactly?!” Astarion demanded, the adrenaline still rushing through him.

His body began to shiver as the Hold spell weakened, but Halsin’s vines still held him firmly in place.

“She said, ‘Tell him I’m alive, and I love him, and I’m on my way back,’” Gale answered. “Then she said that no matter what you say, or what you see in your head, I’m not to let you leave. She made me promise – and then her magic must have cut out.”

Astarion’s body shuddered as he let out a hesitant, segmented sob. His eyes were still wide and restless, like a wounded animal being cornered.

“She’s… alright?” Astarion’s voice was soft and tender, barely more than a whisper now.