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“What the fuck is going on, Fluttershy?” Pinkie said conversationally, and Fluttershy looked away.
“Pinkie… have you ever felt like you weren't in the right body?” she asked, toying with a delicate pink flower, and Pinkie considered it.
“Well, one time I cloned myself a bunch of times and THAT was messed up and kind of like being the wrong number- like being TOO MANY bodies so I had to destroy them all but I think one lived and now visits me every night, because once she destroys ME and takes over my life then who can even prove that she WASN’T the real Pinkie? I mean, am I even the real Pinkie? I don’t know and it’s like, I guess a little horrific to ponder the implications of that day.”
“That isn't what I meant but that sounds rough though,” Fluttershy said. “I meant, have you ever… felt more like a colt than a mare?”
Pinkie stared at him like a newborn foal before booping her own nose. “OH!” she said and grinned. “Nope!”
Fluttershy had an empty look in his eyes and Pinkie wondered if it was too early to plan a gender reveal party for him. It would be easy to do a blue cake but she was willing to be miserable and bake a gender-fluid or demi-boy cake. Dying layers of a cake was easy enough but that would just result in a bland cake and that was slightly unacceptable given that gender reveal parties were supposed to be explosive and awe inspiring! No, some kind of a filling was mandatory but then, if you made a whole layer out of buttercream then the cake might collapse and if you put a bit of frosting between layers then it wouldn’t be the REAL pride- BUT WAIT!!
“Do you like cheesecake?!” she asked eagerly, but Fluttershy just seemed dejected.
“I think I need to be alone for a bit,” he said and Pinkie sulked.
Fuck, she could do funny drinks in pride colors but she’d need to know if Fluttershy was fond of alcohol! He so rarely attended parties in the first place and she had an inkling that it was because he was vegan and too shy to ask if her cakes were vegan- silly! What kind of chef and expert party thrower would she be, if she didn’t offer vegan and gluten-free cakes at every single party she ever threw?!
She bounced back to Ponyville and marveled at Silver Crest’s new pixie haircut, which she quickly showed off, before walking onto a steel beam that was being lifted onto a construction site, trotted over three rooftops, heading for Twilight's Treehouse.
Pinkie shattered through Twilight's window, plummeting into a bookshelf before crashing into the floor hard enough to kill her. She was unharmed.
“Twilight!” she said, bouncing up to her feet. “You’re smart! You know chemistry, right?”
Twilight rubbed at her temples and stared at the avalanche of broken glass that now covered her bed.
“Of course, I do,” she said, closing her book in favor of finding a broom. Pinkie beat her to it, humming a tune and dancing up the mess with her tail and Twilight quietly wished that Spike could be this proactive.
“Do you know how to make testosterone?” she asked and Twilight squinted at her bubbly expression for a long moment.
“Yes,” she said, finally. “Why?”
“Well, this one person- he has never been the most emotionally stable guy I've known so it'd be nice to have a back-up in case the legal road to transitioning proves to be a no-go!” she explained and Twilight made a sound of understanding. So it wasn't for Pinkie. Then again, maybe she'd been foolish to assume. The crack she'd asked for had also been for a friend.
“I see,” Twilight said, carefully weighing her options. “So, suicide prevention, then.”
“Pretty much! You're going to help me, right?”
“I think so,” Twilight said and Pinkie jumped high enough to defy gravity. “But don't make this a habit, okay?
“Sure! Yes! I won't ask anything more of you!” Pinkie said, bowing in appreciation before flopping onto the floor and rolling out of the building. “Pinkie promise!”
As she left, a construction worker knocked on Twilight's door.
“Ma’m we got a tip from a time traveler that you need a new window?” he asked and she pointed at the spot. “Thanks, ma'm!”
Pinkie bounced through the streets, getting looks of joy and horror alike. Her gaze landed on a light brown mare with tidy hair and big glasses.
“Ms.Therapist!” Pinkie greeted, waving wildly and Ms. Spect ducked behind a building before speed walking to the nearest shop. “No! Wait! I swear, this isn't about me this time!”
Ms. Spect considered this for a moment. Pinkie was many things but she lied relatively infrequently and she helped people a lot. With a heavy heart, she stopped and allowed the psychotic mare to catch up with her.
“UHH!” Pinkie coed. “Are those new earrings? Did you change your hair?” and despite herself, Ms. Spect felt flattered. She flipped her hair and allowed Pinkie to gawk at her new earrings.
“Glad you noticed. Now, what is this about your friend?"
“RIGHT! So, he's trans, right? And you can write a thing for that, right?”
“Yes, it is true that only extra super special therapists can write a letter of recommendation for trans people in Ponyville, and you do have to personally ask them to find out, and then that letter has to be approved by the healthcare provider, a board of 6 straight men and god himself. Of course, I can only write this letter after 6 months of therapy, not including wait time and-“ Pinkie pulled out a knife and Ms. Spect looked directly at the camera. “God dammit, why do you always do this, Pinkie?”
“Do you have any spots open?”
“Will you break the time-continuum again if you say no?”
“Of course not,” she claimed, staring at her with wide, empty eyes. “that might have devastating, long-lasting repercussions and I'm the last person on earth who would ever be impulsive enough to risk that.”
“Okay,” Ms. Spect said, steeling her nerves. “Fine. There is one person, who could have benefited from some early intervention.”
“Hey!” Pinkie yelled, throwing rubber ducks at Fluttershy’s window. “Hey!” and she threw another duck. “Hey, Fluttershy! I’m back! I’m sorry I’m yelling! I know it scares the animals! Hey! Fluttershy! I’m going to keep doing it unti- Oh, hey!”
“What do you want,” Fluttershy said and Pinkie instinctively backed up a little, lowering her head, and immediately bumped into the pile of rubber ducks currently blocking the way back to Ponyville.
“Okay- so,” Pinkie said, raising her hooves to try and placate Fluttershy’s temper. “I got you some options for your gender but I need your help because I can’t pick for you."
“Options?” he asked. “For my gender?” and Pinkie sprung upright.
“Yeah! So, we could time travel to 1964 to un-traumatize a Ms. Blahaj by kidnapping her away from her abusive-“
“Oh, Pinkie, again with the time-continuum?”
“Hear me out first!” Pinkie pleaded. “We can do that, to get you a spot for therapy, OR, if it feels urgent, we can do a chemistry with Twilight to get you going on your transition- but either way I can’t pick for you, you know?”
Fluttershy stared at pinkie for a very long moment. Then, he chuckled before slowly becoming undone. Tears flowed down his face, but he did not move away when Pinkie sat down next to him to rub his back.
“I thought-“ he said, through tears. “I- I thought you didn’t- I thought-“
Pinkie said nothing, instead sitting with him until he slowly calmed down. She liked sitting people who were crying, it was the only time she ever felt sane.
“I thought you didn't understand,” he finally managed, looking at Pinkie with the saddest expression she'd seen in a while. “I thought you didn't believe me.” And Pinkie laughed.
"What kind of friend would I be if I didn't?"
“You're the best."
“Sure! Off topic but when’s a date that you’re free and do you maybe have a list of people that you trust with your gender identity, for non-surprise party reasons?"
“You’re the first one I ever told,” Fluttershy admitted and Pinkie Pie did not know what to do with this information. It was always a coin toss, if she was trusted because of her kindness or insanity.
“Will you tell anyone else?” she asked, instead of dwelling, and Fluttershy shrugged.
“I- I wanted to tell the others, b-but, um…” and he fidgeted, hoping Pinkie would get the hint. “I-if you could maybe… maybe help with that, um,”
“Sure!” Pinkie said, jumping to her feet and beginning to bounce around her friend. She was being trusted! Because of her kindness!! “Oh! How should we tell them? I shouldn’t make a big deal about it just yet, right? Should I bring my bat?"
“No, don’t make a big deal out of it, please,” Fluttershy said, giving her a grateful little smile. “Bring the bat.”
“Yay! Oh, I can’t wait! This is going to be so much fun!” she said, slowly shoveling ducks into her mane to clear the path. “I can’t wait to see everyponies reaction! Here we thought Spike was the only boy of our group! Nay! Incorrect! We’ve been duped! Infiltrated, I say!”
“Pinkie," Fluttershy said, sheepishly. "I think you’re making it a big deal.”
“We’ve- we’ve been mildly mistaken!” she corrected, glancing at Fluttershy, who nodded. “We’ve been slightly off! Kind of just lead astray by our assumptions, a little bit! I cannot wait to calmly explain this misunderstanding and have tea afterward!”
“Thank you.”