Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kate studied the rickety bounty board. Hands braced on her hips, her brow furrowed. A crow cawed down at her, probably in concern given she’d been standing there for the last 5 minutes, motionless. She mulled over her current standings. Last bounty had been shit, but it was just enough to get some food, a drink, some ammo, and a dose of jet. Only one dose, much to her disappointment. And there was absolutely no place out here to loot. She’d managed to wander right into the middle of fucking no where. She had a small emergency stash of caps, but it was a couple hundred at most and she wasn’t jonesing bad enough yet to consider dipping in. 

To add to her bad luck, it was fucking hot. The south had always been hot, but nuclear fallout really fucked with the climate, making it even more oppressive. On top of that, a heat wave had hit the area a few weeks back and didn’t seem to want to quit. Her heavy clothes clung to her, making her skin itch. There wasn’t an inch of Kate’s body not prickled with sweat. 

‎She’d spent the last several weeks trudging across the Mojave wastes searching for a bounty. Currently, she found herself in some rundown little settlement somewhere in Arizona. Which was admittedly one of the worst places to be during a heat wave. Kate had been wandering the wastes for the last 10 years and still hadn’t fully adjusted to just how hot much of the country could get. It was enough to almost make her consider heading back east to The Commonwealth, where she’d grown up. Almost. 

On top of the blistering heat, the sun out here was stronger than what she was used to and the baron landscape provided little escape from its oppressive gaze. Most newcomers to these parts made the mistake of shedding layers when the heat started rising, but that was a good way to practically deep fry the skin. A lesson her father had taught her early on, one of his infinite bits of wisdom.

No, unfortunately for Kate, she was pretty covered up regardless of the temperature. Plus, it was never a good idea to reveal what was and wasn’t covered by armor. She sported a fair amount of protection sewn into her clothes. Nothing overly impressive, but enough to ease some blows. The only reprieve she allowed herself from her layers was pulling the black bandana down that usually covered her mouth and nose. It was a daily struggle to not strip off some layers though, and she’d probably kill for a pair of shorts and a tank top at this point. Not like that was ever a practical choice given the likelihood of attracting the wrong kind of attention, which she drew plenty of regardless. Anything with a wet hole attracted the wrong type of attention, add on a pair of tits and things became downright dangerous. 

She was sweaty, tired, broke, and mostly sober.  All things that she hated. Overall, things were looking pretty fucking bleak. 

And it seemed her day was going to get decidedly worse as the familiar cling-clang of spurs coming up behind her. She sighed, rolling her eyes at the crow who was now flying off, fleeing from the ominous figure coming up behind her. She really didn’t feel like dealing with his shit right now. She’d somehow managed to go fairly unrecognized over the last few months. Traveling through smaller settlements, flying under the radar. Some shit about taking the path less traveled, or something. Honestly, she had no fucking idea what she was doing out this way. She’d just wandered. She was barely winning the battle raging in her own mind, the last thing she needed was competition.

“You know,” a deep voice drawled from her right, “staring at that board ain’t going to make your options any better.” 

Kate turned her head enough to side eye the man who was now standing to her right, smirking down at her. There he was, The Ghoul, looking as cool and collected as usual. With a cigarette tucked between the fingers that tipped the brim of his weathered Stetson in greeting. She shot him with a perturbed scowl as her gaze trailed up his long body, glaring really, from under the flat brim of her own gambler style Stetson. He tilted his head as if to say you know I’m right. She grunted in annoyed agreement, rolling her eyes at him.

“Well if it isn’t The Ghoul,” she let out a deep sigh as she turned to face him fully. “Long time no see. Wish I could say I was happy to see ya, but pickings are already slim,” she gestured to the mostly empty board, “don’t really feel like fighting ya for some shit bounty right now.” 

He chuckled, his smirk turning into an knowing grin. He was well aware she would take him on if she had to, she’d done it before, and he was familiar with the damage she would do. Could she kill him? Maybe, but they both knew she had never really tried. Neither of them had ever really taken a shot at one another, well not one intended to kill anyways. No, the blows they dealt each other were only meant to slow the other down. The bounties they chased were rarely worth sharing. Neither were really into sharing anyways, and both could be considered lone wolves. But there were no hard feelings, it was just business after all. In fact, she’d enjoyed taking him on. There was something so fucking thrilling about it. Ugh. She had no desire for “thrilling” right now.  

They’d run into each other several times over the years. And, not all run-ins had ended in bloodshed. They’d passed each other on their way across the wastes. Been friendly at the bars or campfires. Just like they’d be with many of the other wastelanders. Okay, maybe a bit friendlier than that. 

They even shared a bottle of bourbon once while her arm was splinted. Broken after The Ghoul collapsed a poorly crafted wooden bridge she was standing on. The fall had been a bit further than her human body could handle. But, he had checked back to see if she was still alive and tossed down a stimpak to her as he ran off after their target. He paid for the bourbon too, or maybe he stole it, either way she didn’t really care. Real gentlemanly. But a stimpak and a shitty bottle of bourbon were hardly fair compensation for nearly crushing her to death. She’d only claimed they were even after nearly blowing off his left leg when she shot him in the thigh with her modified .44 magnum. Jury was still out on how this encounter would go, but given the lack of bounties, odds were this one would end in bloodshed. 

He turned his attention back to the board, briefly studying the options. To put it bluntly, there was jack shit. A few shit bounties that weren’t even worth the trouble, some help wanted ads for some of the surrounding farms and caravans, and only one profitable bounty. 20,000 caps, put out by The Brotherhood of Steel. The man appeared young, sported the trademark high and tight hairstyle military organizations loved. Quite the bounty for a lowly defector, definitely did something big. The job was likely more trouble than either of them could reasonably handle on their own. Plus, The Ghoul couldn’t turn that bounty in without being lugged in and executed on the spot with the BoS’ aversion to ghouls. He snatched the yellowed paper off the board and studied it.

“You know,” a smirk now played on Kate’s lips, her brow raised, “staring at that ain’t going to make your options any better.”

_______________

He met her eyes over the paper, staring flatly, as he grunted in agreement. Without another word, Kate turned on her booted heel and strolled off in the direction of the saloon. She was the type of woman he hated to see go, but loved to watch leave. As she drifted across the dusty roadway, his gaze trailed up her body. From her brown roper boots, over the faded and patched denim that hung a bit looser than usual, lingering on the sway of her hips. He sucked his teeth and dragged his shameless stare back to the fluttering paper in his hand. 20,000 was a lot of caps, and would probably get him a good supply of chems. Enough to get him through to some of the more remote vaults. A ragged cough escaped him which quickly morphed into a fit. He reached a hand into the saddle bag draped over his shoulder, fishing out an inhaler of the good shit. Shit that kept him from falling fully off the cliff to insanity. He brought it to his rough lips and took a long drag as he pondered his next move. Whatever it was, Kate was right, staring at a battered wanted poster wasn’t going to make his options any better.

He turned in the direction of the saloon, following her tracks. Spurs clicking with each step, duster swaying in the hot breeze. Staring at the yellowed paper wouldn’t help, but a stiff drink always seemed to make things better. 

The Ghoul pushed through the creaking saloon doors to find Kate leaning on the bar, shamelessly flirting with the barkeep. An older, slimy looking man who was clearly leagues below her. She had ditched the worn canvas jacket on the stool next to her. The curves of her body were more visible beneath the old white tee shirt. As she leaned on the bar she wrapped her arms around her chest, pushing her breasts up, really selling it. She had ditched her hat on the bar top beside her, allowing her long brown waves to trail down her shoulder. She swatted at the greaseball's hairy arm and giggled, tossing her head back. As if she was completely enraptured by whatever he was saying. She wasn’t, but he didn’t know that. Cooper had seen her like this plenty of times before. Playing the game, utilizing her looks for her benefit. She was good at it. She’d be an idiot not to use her looks to get her further out here. Had to use anything you had at your disposal or you didn’t make it far around here.

“You know, I’d love to keep this conversation going a bit longer,” her voice low and sultry, as she tilted her head, staring up at the man through her lashes. Her fingers tracing circles into the counter, “But I don’t want to hold up a seat for a paying customer and I am unfortunately a bit light in the pockets.” 

Now that was a laughable statement considering the bar was empty other than one patron snoring in a booth in the corner.

“Don’t worry darling, this rounds on the house,” the barkeep leaned into her space as he poured her two fingers of whiskey. “Ain’t many pretty things out here, you really add to the appeal of the place, good for business.” 

The Ghoul strolled over and pulled up the stool next to her. She looked over at him, turning that dazzling smile in his direction. Her stormy gray eyes met his, gifting him with a wink that affected him more than he would ever admit. “I think you’re right, looks like I’m already attracting some patrons. You may even need to up my salary.” She flashed that damn smile back to the bar keep who was now glaring in The Ghouls direction.

“Well, what’re ya having, ghoul?” The barkeep practically spit in disgust. While this settlement was considered “ghoul friendly”, the locals weren’t exactly thrilled with the idea, but they were in no place to turn down caps. “No free shows, if you’re sitting here, you better be paying.”

Kate swirled her whiskey while The Ghoul ordered one for himself. The barkeep poured him a glass, while continuing to stare him down. Kate dragged the barkeep's attention back to her, “Hey, you don’t happen to have any new leads on work?” 

“Sorry doll, what you see out there is what you get,” he gestured with the bottle out the saloon door toward the bounty board. “The inn is always hiring though, and a pretty thing like you would bring in plenty of eager customers.” The keep ogled her chest and licked his cracked lips. He placed the glass far in front of The Ghoul, just out of a comfortable reach as he threw him one last dirty glare for good measure. One that The Ghoul returned with even more fire, causing the keep the shrink back a bit, as if he realized he had gotten a bit too close to a rattler ready to strike.

“Not quite what work I’m looking for,” Kate’s nose pinched, her tone sharp, unable to hide her distaste for selling her body. Her eyes darkened as she shot the dirtbag an equally fiery glare. Unwilling to keep up her flirtatious rouse.

It was at that point the barkeep realized he was standing directly in the rattlers' den. He scurried off to the opposite end of the bar, busing himself with rearranging bottles that didn’t appear in need of rearranging. He would occasionally throw timid glances over his shoulder, as if waiting for one of them to strike.

Kate leaned back from the bar, settling herself onto the stool behind her. She took a long sip of her whiskey, then breathed out a long sigh, “not a fucking reasonable bounty in this whole god forsaken area. Every surrounding settlement has nothing but shit. When the fuck did this place get so peaceful? Fuck!” She slammed her glass down hard enough that the barkeep practically jump out of his skin. The Ghoul noted the way she drew out her curse. Try as she might, she couldn’t completely shake her commonwealth accent. He liked it. It fit her.

The Ghoul noted that bit of info. He had just made it in from further west, hadn’t even had the chance to hit the surrounding settlements. Seems like his options for caps were quickly dwindling. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, draping the messy waves over her head, creating a deep part that made her look like some young pre-war starlet. He knew she didn’t even realize it, she was just naturally beautiful. Her battered forearms pressed into the chipped wood of the bar as she hung her head over her whiskey, utterly defeated. 

He eyed the now crumpled paper, still clutched in his hand, as he took a sip of whiskey, savoring the taste as the dark liquor coated his tongue. Actually, it was horrible whiskey, but shitty whiskey always tasted better in decent company. 

“This would be a good haul,” he placed the paper down on the bar between them, “10k could get you some good supplies, last you a while, long enough to get out of the area. Somewhere with a few more murderers terrorizing the locals?”

“The reward is 20k,” she corrected. “And don’t patronize me, murder and mayhem is good for your business too.”

“Oh sweetheart,” his twang with thick, “ain’t no fucking way you’re getting away with doing that job alone. Gonna have to split that reward.”

“Oh? And you could?” He could see her hackles raising. Offense clearly taken. Maybe this interaction was going to end in some bloodshed after all.

“Fuck no,” he scoffed, “I may have a death wish, but I ain’t ready to meet my maker yet. Got shit to do first. This ain’t a one man job.” 

“I’m not a team player,” her eyes narrowed at him.

“That makes two of us. Doesn’t hurt to weigh your options.”

A strained silence fell over the two of them as they stared straight ahead, evaluating their surroundings. They noted another weary glance from the barkeep. He was getting a bit too jumpy, clearly listening in on their discussion. Neither of them knew who this settlement was aligned with, if anyone. Loyalty changed quickly in the wastes, and was entirely dependent on who was offering protection, or threatening the most harm. And both of them had made plenty of enemies during their time wastelanding. This was definitely not the place to talk shop. The barkeep wandered into the back room, most likely going to get some backup to clear out the vermin. It was clear they had both overstayed their welcome and neither had the spare ammo for a fight right now. The pair shared a glance, finished the last of their whiskey, grabbed their shit, and walked back out into the sweltering heat.

They lingered on the porch for a moment, both evaluating their surroundings as they lit up cigarettes. The settlement was small, 3 buildings lined the beaten path through the desert. Wary settlers eyed them as they passed. People like them had that effect on people. Like others could see their body count written in bright, shiny lights above them. It was something he’d noted over the years. Others innate ability to see him, and others like him for what they were, killers. Maybe it was a defense mechanism, instinctual. Or maybe all the death and destruction really just wore into the fabric of who he was, who she was, until neither of them could hide it.

 The Ghoul turned to Kate and pulled back his battered duster a bit to reveal the full bottle of whiskey he’d swiped from the bar, tucked into his arm, tilting his head in question. “Need another drink. Care to join? Somewhere a bit more private,” he raised a brow in question.

She studied him for a moment, expression completely unreadable. “Got any jet?” There was a touch of shame in her expression now, barely readable, but there. As if he was in any position to pass judgment. 

He reached into his saddle bag and pulled an inhaler out, tossing it into her smooth hand. 

“I’m not paying you for this,” she clarified and proceeded to quickly inhale the drugs before he could protest. Her head tipped back, her hat nearly falling off her head, a dreamy smile played on her lips, “fuck, that’s good.”

_______________

When she came back down to earth, she realized she was alone on the porch. She looked behind her, through the doorway of the saloon, to see the barkeep had returned with a surly looking friend. The two men exchanged a few terse words, not removing their eyes from her. Yup, welcome certainly overstayed.

She turned back to the trail, stepping off the creaking porch, to where The Ghoul stood in wait. He was eyeing some passersby as they looked at her a bit harshly.

“Leave it,” she waved him off. She was used to the judgment at this point. It was the price she paid for not bothering to hide her drug use. It used to bother her, but when the drugs hit, she hardly cared.

Silently they made their way down the path to a half fallen billboard about a mile out of town. They scaled the metal scaffolding and perched themselves on the platform, feet dangling off the edge as they took in the evening sky. The sun had just nearly set, painting the sky in various shades of orange and pink that darkened into a deep purple. The first stars of night winked into existence as the world descended into darkness. A cosmic masterpiece. Considering how fucked this world had become over the last 200 years, it was a wonder there was any beauty left. 

“Ladies first,” The Ghoul passed the whiskey bottle to Kate. She pulled the cork with her teeth before spitting it out into the vast emptiness of the desert. As unladylike as possible. She took a long swig before passing the bottle back to The Ghoul who was studying her with an amused look on his face.

She grabbed the wanted poster that he had discarded beside them and studied it for several minutes before she decided to share what she knew. Heck, it wasn’t like she was ever going after this on her own, and there really wasn’t anyone out in these parts she would ever consider teaming up with other than the irradiated man to her left. He was the only tolerable person out here. 

“Ex-brotherhood, obviously. A knight. Smart motherfucker. Left the order a few months ago, quickly built up a pretty impressive smuggling ring. Mainly pre-war tech.”

“Huh, works quick,” he seemed impressed. Making connections in the waste takes time, clearly he had been sowing those seeds for some time before he made his exit. Which would have been difficult to hide from the scribes or other knights. “Know anything about who he is running with?”

“No, although I think I may know a weapons dealer with ties to him. Guy I’ve bought from a few times in a settlement east of here. Stopped in for some supplies about a month ago. Had a much more impressive arsenal than usual. Be about a day's walk,” she let out a long sigh. She really didn’t want to go traipsing through the desert in a heatwave, she’d already had her fill. As if it wasn’t risky enough, she had a professional killer who she was about to trust to have her back. 

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, both staring at the glittering lights of the tiny settlement in the distance. The Ghoul didn’t even bother with the sales pitch, there wasn’t any other option if she wanted that bounty. The bounty wasn’t a one man job and she was smart enough to know she needed help. The songs of night in the desert filled the silence and a warm breeze plucked an errant strand from behind Kate’s ear. She tucked it back and turned to face The Ghoul again. 

“Listen, if we’re doing this, we’re setting some ground rules. 50/50 split, you try and fuck me over,” she unholstered the big iron on her hip and pointed it in the air, “you get one of these to the head. This ain’t our usual song and dance. I’ll put it right between your eyes, no minor flesh wounds this time. Ain’t no way I’m letting you get away if you cross me.” 

“I’d hardly call almost severing my leg clean off a flesh wound, but fine, you gotta deal,” he chuckled before taking another swig of whiskey, passing it back to her. 

“Now you’re just being dramatic, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Fuck it wasn’t! Took me a week to walk straight!” A smile tugged at his lips, his scoff turning into light laughter. 

“Well that’s what you get for dropping a bridge on me!” She couldn’t hold back the laugh that bubbled up. 

“Yeah well, s’pose you’re right,” he chuckled a bit more as he leaned back on his palm and brought a cigarette to his lips for a deep inhale. “Crash up here tonight, head out tomorrow, travel through the night. I’ll take first watch.” He motioned to a bedroll set on the far end of the platform.

_________________________

They continued to drink in silence for a few more minutes, finishing off the bottle, both inebriated at this point, but still in control. Rarely did they spend time alone like this. Most of their one on one interactions had been fighting. Which was a real fucking treat if he had to be honest. She was a good fighter. Graceful, well practiced. With her, fighting felt like dancing. And all their best banter came out during their fights. It was starting to feel like goddamn foreplay. And, a fight was a real confusing time to be getting so damn turned on.

That last time though. Shit, that was good. She didn’t often let him get too close. But he always tried. Well last time he’d either gotten the upper hand or she’d just let him in a bit. He’d had her in a head lock, a gentle one because he wasn't a fucking heathen, her body pressed against his.

“Come on honey, that ain’t all you got,” he’d whispered into her ear. She’d most definitely pushed her ass back into him, and then kicked him right in the fucking balls. He'd dropped to he ground like a sack of tatos. She stood over him looking pleased with herself, rolled him over with her boot, had started getting a bit too cocky. He’d wrenched her down on top of him by her ankle. Woman was quick though, she’d landed on top of him, her knife to his neck. 

“The bounty is mine,” she’d growled into his ear, sending shivers dancing across his melted skin. There was no way he was about to argue with the woman as she straddled him. He gave that one up gladly. 

This, just sitting and enjoying what beauty the world had to offer, was a rarity for them. It was a nice change of pace though. 

Kate stood, steadying herself before she started to walk towards the bedroll. She stopped and turned to him with an inquisitive look, “you gonna finally give me your name? Not for nothing, referring to you as The Ghoul is going to get real fucking annoying.”

He chuckled at that, she swore like a pre war trucker. It was a trait he remembered some of his fellow soldiers from the commonwealth shared. It wasn’t the first time she’d asked for his name, but he’d always refused to give it. Didn’t seem like she needed it. She likely could have asked around and figured it out on her own had she really wanted to, but she never did. Maybe she had respected his choice to remain nameless? Not likely, respect wasn’t something anyone had in the wastes. More likely, she didn’t care enough to go out of her way. He held out his hand as if this was the first time they had met, “names Cooper.”

_____________________

She stared at his outstretched gloved hand suspiciously for a moment. Assessing all the risks and benefits that came with taking it. She had a habit of analyzing every move she made. It was how she was raised, to question everything and trust no one. The world was a dangerous place, especially for a woman. Always had been, but even more so now. Her parents had made sure not to sugarcoat things and she was thankful for it. Helped ease the shock when the world decided to take a big ole swing at her with a super sledge. Since then, she’d had her fair share of run-ins with those who wished to harm her, it was a daily occurrence out here. That would never change. 

She felt jittery, but pinpointing her emotion was difficult. Was she nervous? No, it didn’t feel like nerves. She’d been on her own for so long. Not that she minded, at first. But ten years was a long time to do this shit alone. She’d gone from living in a friendly community, surrounded by those she cared for, to spending her days completely and utterly alone. The only person she’d talked to consistently since coming out here was herself. But, she’d stopped being a good companion years ago. That didn’t make her desperate enough to saddle herself up with just anyone. In fact, she had been asked often to join caravans, or split jobs with other bounty hunters. She just never wanted to. Couldn’t risk it. Cooper was different. He could have killed her plenty of times. He was bigger than her and with his ghoul strength she knew she’d be no real match for him if he had decided to have his way with her. It may have been stupid, but she didn’t think he would cross her. He’d have tried it already if he was going to.

And she was tired. Her body ached. There was no end in sight and the reasons that had motivated her to keep going in those early years didn’t seem to do the trick anymore. She’d completely lost sight of what she had been working toward. She needed a change. If things didn’t change soon…

No, it wasn’t nerves fluttering in her stomach. More like excitement. A feeling she hadn’t felt for a long time. After a moment, she stepped back towards Cooper, meeting his outstretched hand with her own, and grasped firmly, “nice to meet you Coop.”

Chapter Text

Kate managed a few fitful hours of sleep before switching off with Cooper. She leaned against the far side of the billboard as she stared off in the distance. The desert at night was hauntingly beautiful. Once, she enjoyed the beauty. Now, all she could see were the monsters lurking in the shadows.

The air had cooled slightly, but still uncomfortably warm. Kate shrugged her coat off and loosened a few buttons on her shirt. She peeled the sweat soaked fabric back, exposing her collarbone and chest. This heat was going to kill her if it didn’t ease up. When she first came to that conclusion, she was being dramatic. Now, it was becoming a real fucking possibility. 

Her head pressed back against the metal railing. Even that was hot. 

Ugh.

Headaches had been more frequent as of late. Dehydration. Definitely dehydration. Had nothing to do with the lack of jet. Actually, she was tolerating the abrupt drop in jet usage well. 

“You tryin’ to bite your damn thumb off over there?”

Her hand dropped from her mouth to flip Cooper off. Blood welled along her thumbnail. Yeah, she was handling forced sobriety great. 

It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t find jet anywhere. Well she could find it, but not a lot of it. And there was no better time to do jet than immediately after finding it. As far as Kate was concerned, this area really needed to invest in job diversity. Couple chem labs would do wonders for the economy.

“Go back to bed, you need your beauty sleep.”

Cooper sat up on the bedroll leaning against the railing crossing his long legs. She glanced past him to see the horizon had begun to lighten.  

“Now, if I remember correctly,” a finger wagged in her direction as he tapped his chin, “the last time I saw you, you said I was ‘awfully handsome’.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yes she did. 

The Ghoul…Cooper, had been one of the few people she’d enjoyed out here. Even when they were throwing blows at one another, she had fun with him. He was one of the few men out here who looked at her like a person, rather than a piece of meat. Well, he sometimes stared at her like she was a piece of meat, but it was different. Like he would savor his meal. 

And that sounded lovely.

Besides that, he also had her back plenty of times. It had surprised her at first. They first ran into each other not long after she’d ventured out on her own. The first two years she was out here, she’d made a living working a farm before joining up with a caravan. It wasn’t an ideal situation, but it got her moving, and paid better than farm work. Gave her a sort of soft landing to wastelanding. 

She had plenty of experience back home as a caravan guard. She’d worked for her father’s purified water business. Biggest in the Commonwealth. He had a real commitment to ensuring as many communities had clean water as possible. Probably trying to make amends for the sins of his prior life, but it was profitable at least. 

But, the wastes out here were different from The Commonwealth. There, she was born into a name. Here she had to earn it. Being a Caravan Guard gave some additional protection while she got her bearings. Plus, working for a caravan specializing in nuclear material procurement got her some damn good connections.

The pair decided to leave early, using the coverage of pre-dawn twilight to hide their movements away from the settlement. They slipped away, blending into the shadows. A warm breeze rolled across the desert, kicking sand up in it’s wake. The early start would mean less time spent being beaten down by the Sun. Judging by how warm it was already, today was going to be brutal.

“Dealers name is Leroy,” Kate mumbled around the cigarette that hung from her lips. The dancing flame of her flip lighter broke through the blanket of desert. She plucked the cigarette from her lips, exhaling deeply, ”always has good inventory, well maintained and modified. Fair pricing.” 

“Heard of him. Ain’t too fond of Ghouls if I remember. You think he really has the kind of connections we're looking for?” Cooper puffed away on his own cigarette.

“Did a couple jobs for him. Guys a real gun nut. Always been into finding the most “unique” pieces. The gear he has on display is impressive. And he’s saying he has something better he isn’t putting on full display? Yeah. He has the connections we’re looking for.”

“And he’s just going to share those connections with you?”

“Sounds like he is willing to,” she shrugged, “we have a good working relationship. Been picking up jobs from him for almost as long as I’ve been out here. Has trusted me with some pretty big shit.”

“Oh?” his interest piqued, unable to resist digging more into her past. “What type of “big shit” you been gettin’ yourself into?”

“Shit big enough that the pay made sure I forgot any details,” Kate smirked back at the roughened cowboy. Clearly not falling for his shit. 

Leroy was her preferred weapons dealer. She’d wandered into his shop pretty early on, within her first year out here. Had met him while working the caravan. She almost blew the whole job when she pulled a gun on one of his security guys. Fucker had grabbed her ass when she walked in the door. Leroy stepped in before she redecorated his shop with the guys' brains. 

“Easy there. Ain’t you a peach.” That stupid fucking nickname. She hated it actually. Leroy had cut off the guy's finger though, so she allowed it.

He’d given her a lot of work after that. Started with small jobs, worked her way up. She’d bought her pistol  from him. Work really started taking off after she upgraded her piece. Things skyrocketed when she upgraded the shotgun she kept strapped to her back, a Winchester 21. A part of her would always be indebted to Leroy. Sure, she’d worked her ass off to pay for everything she had, but he gave her a chance. Others had laughed in her face when she had asked for work simply because she was a woman. Leroy never treated her any differently. Without those chances, she never would have earned such an impressive reputation. 

Reputation was everything in the wastes. A lesson her father had taught her early on.

“It’s about making others think you’re the bigger fish, kid. You pack enough of a punch, fuckers’ll think twice about crossing you.” 

The words may have been her father’s, but his voice had been lost to time. 

A deep ache started to form in her chest. She flicked her spent cigarette into the wind, immediately lighting up another. Her jaw tensed as the nicotine did little to soothe her spiraling mind. Jet would do the trick. Hell, she’d settle for some psycho at this point. Calm-ex would be a fucking godsend, but this was a godless land.The dull ache in her head had intensified as the grew closer to the shop. 

The need was completely consuming her when Cooper’s deep voice broke her from her thoughts.

“Didn’t realize how bad you’ve gotten,” his voice low. His eyes filled with something Kate couldn’t quite place. Probably pity. “We’ll pick something up at the next settlement.”

“I’m fine,” she bit out as a muscle ticked in her jaw.

“Sure you are,” Cooper scoffed, stopping Kate in her tracks. 

“As if you’re in a place to judge. When’s the last time you haven’t had some substance in your system? 2077?”

Cooper stopped and turned, hooking his thumbs into the worn gun leather belt hanging low on his hips. He leaned back staring at her like he was waiting for a toddler to finish their temper tantrum.

“Well before that sweetheart,” his melted lips pressed into a tight line.

“Then what the fuck is your problem?”

He just stared.

“Oh, fuck off!” Kate threw her hands in the air as she stomped past Cooper, but stopped short and whirled on him. Unable to contain her rage, she puffed out her chest, Invading his space as she scowled up at him. Her finger jabbed into his firm chest. “You get how fucking hard out here it is for a woman? I am outmatched physically more often than not. Forgive me for using some performance enhancing drugs.” She couldn’t contain her commonwealth accent as she held her palms up to Cooper. She was fuming .

“I just saw you, what, six months ago? Had a good stash of your performance enhancers then. Don’t give me any of that bullshit about work dryin’ up. You’re resourceful. And you pack a mean fucking punch sober. Not usually this sloppy though.” He took a step back from her as he pulled a neatly folded piece of paper from his saddle bag. Leather clad hands unfolded the paper and held it up in front of her. A wanted poster.

Her wanted poster. 

Her nose flared as she inhaled deep while she placed her hand on her holster. Planting her feet firmly in the dirt. Motherfucker.  

Cooper glanced down before he cooly returned her stare, tilting his head. Unbothered. Even if she did draw on him, she wouldn’t get a shot off before him. He was too damn fast. “Would’a brought you in already if I was interested. Found this passing through a settlement who’s mayor had a freshly broken nose.” He looked up at her with a slanted smile. A hint of pride in that damn smile.

She kept a firm hold on her holster while her other hand covered her mouth.  Honestly, she didn’t remember much of the night. She’d taken some psycho before heading to the bar. Woke up in a bush with busted knuckles and a vague memory of some very angry security guards chasing after her down. Ended up pushing back this way to let the heat settle. Her grip eased as she backed down from him, leaning back as she crossed her arms over her chest. Despite her best efforts, the corner of her mouth tipped up.

His smile widened at that, before growing serious.

“This ain’t the attention you can afford to attract,” he lowered the sheet and studied it. “This reward ain’t worth it. But you keep headin’ down this path,” the paper was waved in her face, ”people’re gonna start takin’ swings.”

“Yes, sir,” two fingers tapped her brow in a sarcastic salute as she turned as she turned, continuing on their path with an over exaggerated sway of her hips. He was definitely staring at her ass. She definitely didn’t mind. This game of theirs had become one of her favorite things out here. 

After a few moments, boots crunched in the sand behind her, spurs jingled, as Cooper jogged to her side. She could see him staring at her from the corner of her eye.

“Ya know,” a gruff chuckle, “I think you should call me sir more often.”

Kate couldn’t help the deep laugh that bubbled from her. She bit her lip as she playfully shoved him to the side. It had been a long time since she had truly laughed. At least six months. She wasn’t interested in unpacking that sad fact any further.

“Missed that smile, Kate.”

She did too.

________

The heat was ungodly. Kate was convinced at one point she was actually walking through hell. The ache in her head had intensified to a violent pounding. The exposed skin around her eyes stung from the beating rays of the sun. Her sides ached, dehydration had definitely set in. She pushed on despite herself.

Around noon, Cooper had thrown her over his shoulder, not at all deterred by her kicking and punching. His arm pinned her legs down to his chest, the other pushed down on her lower back.

“Please don’t tell me that’s the best you got sweetheart.” 

She slumped over him. It was. 

He’d managed to find a mainly intact shack for her to rest in. Her protests fell on deaf, scarred ears as he plopped her down on an old stained mattress. 

“I can walk,” she attempted to sit up, but a gentle tap to her shoulder sent her flopping back. She rolled to her side to watch him.

“Rest,” he flashed her a stern look as he rummaged through a med kit he’d come across. A bottle of purified water and jet thunked on the mattress beside her.

“Yes sir,” a second later the jet canister hit her lips and her head flopped back into the mattress. 

A rough tug pulled her from the clouds. Rude. Cooper had sat her up slightly, supporting her in the crook of his arm.

“Drink this,” He was shoving the water to her mouth, forcing her to drink deeply until she started sputtering. Once she’d stopped drowning, he forced her to take several more sips until he was satisfied enough to let her float away again. 

She woke several hours later to him sitting against the wall across from her, eating a can of cram. He’d abandoned his duster jacket and bandolier on the floor beside him. Flickering candlelight danced across the tightened flesh of his face. Eyes that lifted to hers, catching her as she studied him. Heat pricked her cheeks.

“Hungry?” He plopped the fork into the can and held it out to her, smirking, a brow raised.  

“You’re insufferable,” she pushed herself off the mattress and leaned against the wall behind her. Her long legs stretched out before her, crossed at the ankle. She leaned and took the can from him. It was more than half full. “You need more.”

“No, you need more, but that’s all we got.” His canteen raised to his mouth. A droplet trailed down his chin, wiped away by the sleeve of his faded blue shirt. She startled at his low chuckle. He held the canteen out before him, sloshing the water around in offering to her. “Lookin’ awfully thirsty too.”

She held his cocky stare as she grabbed the canteen and brought it to her lips. Water sloshed over the rim leaving a glistening trail down her chin. She capped the canteen and swiped her thumb across her chin, collecting the droplet and pushing it to her lips, sucking gently. Cooper watched her mouth intently with lidded eyes. She’d definitely won that round.

“Someone’s in rare form,” he shook his head as he tucked a cigarette between his lips. The flame of his flip lighter highlighted the golden flecks of his eye. 

 It was true. She had never been this brazen with him, but she couldn’t help herself. Each time they had crossed paths, they’d seem to push the boundaries a bit further. Well, she did, and he followed. The tension between them was palpable now. Neither unable to deny there was something there, but neither willing to admit it either.

It had been years since she’d been with a man. She’d had a few flings with women, but even those were few and far between. None of those encounters really soothed the craving for intimacy. Intimacy required trust, which was something she could never give anyone out here. But whatever this was, felt close. 

She had to admit, she did trust him, to a point. Enough to reassure her he wouldn’t attack her unprovoked. Enough that she was able to rest better tonight than she had in years. It was a start. 

The realization that he had never provoked any of their prior blows made her feel a bit guilty. 

The fork clinked in the empty can as she placed it on the ground beside her. She felt the around her for her bag without luck.

“Hung your stuff up on the door,” He propped his arm on his knee, offering her an unlit cigarette tucked between his fingers. “Here.”

She held her hand out, but he made no move to meet her in the middle. Smoldering eyes conveyed an unspoken challenge. 

She shifted to her knees, leaning on one arm as she slowly plucked the cigarette from his fingers and tucked it between her lips. His gaze trailed up her arm, across her chest before fixating on her lips. She reached for the lighter, but he grabbed it before she could. He flicked it in front of her cigarette, lighting it as she took a deep drag. Completely transfixed on her lips. She leaned back against the wall as warmth pooled low in her belly. 

Fine, he’d won this round.

He cleared his throat, which did give her some satisfaction. “Whatdya think about heading out tonight? Keep that smooth skin out of the sun. You got a nasty burn around your eyes.”

She felt the edges of her eyes. Ouch. It didn’t feel blistered, but any longer in the sun and it would have. Traveling at night was risky, but between the two of them, she was confident they’d be fine.

“If you want to rest, I can take watch.” 

“I’m good. Got better sleep than you last night. Would rather have you in a settlement before it gets too bad out here.”

It wasn’t lost on her that out of all the reasons they had for traveling at night, he was most concerned about her.

The remainder of their trip was relatively uneventful. They’d had some run ins with drifters, raiders, a few super mutants. Nothing they couldn’t handle, especially together. She’d forgotten how well they worked together. When they’d been chasing bounties separately, they always picked off any other threats before exchanging blows. It felt like there was some unspoken language between them. Like a well practiced dance. If one of them fell out of step, the other was there to drag them back in, until they were the only two left in the room. As if the violent culmination of their routine was something private, wholly their own. Unwilling to let any of the other monsters out here bear witness. 

Those fights pushed her body to limits she did not think it was capable of. There wasn’t even a need for it. She’d endure the pain for a little more time in his presence.

The pair parted ways a few miles before hitting their destination. Given Leroy’s aversion to ghouls, it was decided Kate would go alone. Cooper would head to the settlement and pawn off the loot they’d collected along the way. 

By the time she saw the Weapons sign, shotley painted on plywood and only partially covering the old Red Rocket sign behind it, every inch of her body ached. She was covered in dust, blood, and several layers of sweat. Kate stepped through the entryway as she lowered her bandana to find Leroy tinkering with a laser rifle at the counter.

“Peaches! Didn’t expect you back this way so soon. How ya been? You kind of look like shit.” Leroy’s voice boomed through the shop as he sat the weapon down and leaned on the counter top. He was older, well into his 50s, portly, and sported a mean combover. Good business kept him well fed, as evidenced by the grease stains on his shirt, only half of which were gun oil. 

“Hey Leroy.” Asshole. “Looking to make some upgrades.”

“Been working on this beauty,” Leroy cradled the laser rifle like he would a child, “real beaut. I add some precision-”

“That’s great, but not what I’m looking for,” she waved away the very average looking laser rifle as she carried on her charade. “Been running into a real issue with super mutants out west. Terrorizing the locals, nice people. Looking to clear them out for good. Could use something a bit heavier than usual.” 

“Oh ho! Since when did you become such an ambassador of peace? You get hit with too many molotov’s? Seems like that cold heart of yours is finally thawing out.” Leroy was practically falling apart at the idea.

“Fuck no, got them to pay me 3 times what they initially offered” she scoffed loudly. The idea was truly ridiculous. 

Leroy eyed her over with a knowing smirk, seemingly considering if she was worthy enough for the good stuff.

Her head tilted as she pursed her lips and raised her brow. They both knew he was just playing games at this point.

Wordlessly, Leroy turned, motioning for her to follow as he waddled into the backroom. A switch flicked and an old light bulb struggled to illuminate, taking several pitiful flickers before dimly washing the room in yellow light. The low hum of an old fluorescent bulb filled in the silence. It was truly surprising no radroaches crawled out from under the greasy dust covered shelves. Clearly the room hadn’t been cleaned since before the bombs dropped.

Leroy shuffled through some file cabinets, almost toppling one over trying to loosen a rusted drawer. His hand slapped the side of the cabinet, loosening the drawer and creating a thick plume of dust. 

Leroy fiddled with the contents of a file cabinet drawer as the shrill sound of a whistleblower and a vault-tec lunch snapping open filled the room.

“Here it is,” Leroy ambled his way back to Kate and handed her a folded piece of paper.

“A map?”

“To a vault,” a greasy finger jabbed at the “X” written on the map. “Need you to get me some supplies, then I will get you what you need.”

“Come on,” Kate tilted her head and outstretched her arms as she turned to follow him back out front.  “I don’t have time for this shit.”

“Eh, if those big green fuckers eat the settlers, you can still loot the place.” Leroy shuffled to the counter. 

Kate folded the paper and tucked it into the breast of her jacket. She braced her hands on the counter as she stared at him imploringly.

“Leroy, come on, give me something.” 

With that he plopped a metal canister, not much bigger than a coffee pot, on the counter. He smiled at her like he’d just given her the greatest Christmas gift of all time. It’s bright yellow paint peeled, revealing the rust below. 

“Fill this. There’ll be plenty of shit for you to loot too. It’s an old vault. Must’a been doing some experiments with radiation. Raiders like to settle there. It’s due for a cleanout. And I’ll restock your ammo.”

Kate lingered there for a moment longer. Why couldn’t anything be easy? She was getting tired of this shit. 

She grabbed the strap attached to the canister and looped it across her chest. With a deep sigh she turned and headed for the door. 

“Hey Kate,” Leroy’s voice was softer than usual. Enough to stop her in her tracks. She turned slightly to look back at him. “Watch yourself out there. Heard some of them got a real nasty bite.”

Chapter Text

“You cheap bastard,” Cooper’s grit out as he slammed his hand down on the counter, rattling the odds and ends strewn across the counter. They’d manage to loot a whole lotta shit. Actually, Brahmin shit was likely more valuable than this crap. Didn’t mean Cooper wasn’t gonna pinch every cap he could out of it.

He’d scoped out the area a bit before settling on this shop. Only after the stern looking shopkeep stepped away, leaving a kid, no more than 15, to man the counter. Poor kid’s bright blue eyes went as wide as saucers on Cooper’s approach. The kid smoothed out scruffy, razor grain hued hair nervously as Cooper stalked over.

Cooper made sure to take just enough time to let the young man’s mind really get to racing. The loud thump of his bag hitting the counter had the kid practically jumping out of his skin. His speckled cheeks went as red as a tato as he scrambled to catch a sun glasses display as it was knocked off the counter.

“Mo-Mornin’, uh, sir.” Freckles puffed his chest out and attempted to hold Cooper’s stare. His voice cracked and he deflated instantly. Yup, this shop was the right choice.

In Freckles defense, he bartered fairly. Unfortunately for him, Cooper did not.

“This is highway fucking robbery,” Cooper’s hulking form leaned over the counter as he glared down at Freckles, who was shaking like a damn leaf. “Are you tryin’ to fuck me over kid?”

Settlement security had begun accumulating outside the shop. With Cooper’s fist hitting the counter, the trio started walking in to investigate. Just as they made their way over, Kate pushed past them.

“Oh,” She waved as she threw a disarming smile over her shoulder at them. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

There was a bit of a bounce in her step as she sauntered over to the counter. Putting on a show with all the confidence and skill of a classically trained actress. Hollywood would have fucking loved her.

An arm pressed into Cooper's side. He looked down to catch her glance, her smile soft for a moment. A flutter in his chest. A gentle hand cupped his elbow. A forearm braced the counter as she leaned gracefully onto her side. She rummaged through some of the junk on the counter. Dusty fingers curled around one of the jet canisters Freckles had laid out, stilling as she turned her attention to him.

“Hey there.” Her voice was brighter, more delicate than normal. She’d adopted an accent all her own. One that said ‘I’m from nowhere and everywhere’. One easily tweaked to fit her surroundings. It was beautiful, but nothing compared to her natural cadence. One that came out with her anger, her joy. One that was passionate. Real. One she let slip with him.

Freckles found comfort in her eyes. His trembling eased as he cleared his throat. She had a way of staring into people’s souls, coaxing out their weaknesses. Then weaponizing them to her benefit.

“This young man got a hell of a bargain for us,” Cooper cut in. Confusion washed over Freckles’ face.

“Oh really?,” her eyes flared as she glanced between the two excitedly. Always played her role as his co-star flawlessly. “You know, we travel all over these wastes, through all types of settlements. And I have to say,” she tapped the counter with a finger. “This one is really something. I already send a lot of business to old Leroy. We may have to start recommending your shop to some friends.”

Damn kid lit up like a damn ray of fucking sunshine.

“Really? That would be real nice of you miss.” Freckles bounced on the balls of his feet, unable to contain his excitement. Kid really needed to get a poker face.

“Really,” her smile bright as she nodded up at him. She pushed up from the counter to lean on her hand as she waved the jet in front of Freckles. “Think you can throw in a couple extra canisters?”

Playing him like a fucking fiddle.

As their boots hit the dirt road, Kate waved at Freckles, who was staring adoringly at his brand new pile of grade A pile of trash. She hooked her arm around his, steadying herself as she brought the jet canister to her lips.

There was a time where she would have paced herself. Taking small hits here and there. Just enough to soften the harsh world around her. Now she sucked those canisters down like she was trying to make the world disappear entirely.

She swayed a bit as she sunk into his side a bit more. The settlement’s security fell in line behind the pair. A ghoul dragging a half coherent woman towards the inn was not exactly a good look. Maybe an average man could get away with that, but not a ghoul.

Damn smoothies couldn’t pass up the chance to lynch someone like him.

“Dammit woman, get your shit together,” Cooper shook his shoulder a bit as she slumped into him more. He grabbed her arm as it slipped from his.

Boots thudded in the dirt behind them, approaching quickly.

“Everything OK miss?” A hand reached for Kate’s shoulder.

Before Cooper even registered her arm had left his, Kate had the security guard pinned down to the ground with an arm twisted behind his back. Her .44 pressed to the side of his head.

Time froze as the street went silent. All eyes on center stage, braced on the edge of their seats.

Cooper stepped between Kate and the remaining guards as the sound of guns racking filled the dead air. Cooper’s hand rested on his pistol, but they were outnumbered. Sure, Cooper could handle this alone, but not without leaving Kate completely exposed.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Kate hissed into the guards ear as her knee pressed deeper into his back.

“I didn’t mean any offense,” he winced as her knee dug in further, “I swear!”

Kate held him steady, seething.

“Hey sweetheart,” Cooper’s eyes darted between the guns pointed at them as he called back to her. “I think this is just a misunderstanding. Man’s just doing his job. Why don’t you let go?”

All he got in response was more strained silence. Cooper’s muscles twitched as he went to wrap his fingers around the grip of his revolver, halted by the sound of dirt shuffling behind him. A moment later the guard she had pinned was scrambling past Cooper. Kate approached Cooper’s side slowly, her gun holstered, but her eyes locked onto the guard. Jaw set in a murderous scowl.

“She’s just jumpy,” Cooper held up one of his palms, the other still resting on his revolver. “Been out there for a while. Heats really gotten to her. Just let me get her to the Inn.”

The guards exchanged glances as they slowly lowered their guns. One reached for his handcuffs.

“It was my fault,” the guard Kate had pinned cut in, “I shouldn’t have grabbed her. Bring her to the Inn. Keep her there tonight. Be out of here by sunrise. We don’t want any trouble.”

Copper nodded tightly as he turned, dragging Kate down the road towards. His hand moved from his gun to wrap around Kate’s shoulders, pulling her into him. She made no protest as he hurried her along, just stared ahead. Of all the versions of Kate he’d met, this one scared him the most. The version that was lost to the darkness of her mind.

They’d manage to avoid any further incidents long enough to get a room. The innkeeper had looked uneasy handing the keys to Cooper, but ultimately didn’t question them. She wouldn’t have thought twice if his skin were smooth. Cooper had thrown in some extra caps for a couple hot showers and some food.

When they got to the room, Cooper sat her on the bed before heading to the bathroom to start the shower. As he stepped out of the bathroom, he found her with her head between her knees, fingers laced behind her head as she breathed deeply. Her hat tossed on the bed beside her.

He crouched before her, careful not to touch her. Afraid he may send her careening off the deep end.

“Got a shower going for ya,” He kept his voice low, steady. “Get cleaned up, wash your clothes. I need to grab our food.”

“Give me the jet Cooper.”

This was a part of life out here he knew well. Seen it and lived it plenty of times over. At some point out here, this shit weighed on a person. All the pain and suffering, both felt and inflicted. There was no adjustment period out here. One day, life’s course changes, and if you didn’t dig your heels in and roll with it, it would crush you.

Emotions were a luxury most could not afford out here. Emotions could be numbed, but only for so long. So most pumped themselves full of whatever helped them handle the darkness, to escape, even if only for a short time. More pain, more poison. The vicious cycle of the wastes, barreling towards an almost assuredly tragic end. It wasn’t a matter of who would win; the poison or the darkness. They worked in tandem, luring their victim to the very edge before the other threw them right off the edge.

Kate was as close to falling as he’d ever seen her.

Her elbows rested on her knees as she lifted her head to look up at him. He’d always loved her eyes. Gray, smokey from afar. But this close, he could see the hazel ring around her iris that bled into a sea of bluish gray. Eyes that usually made his heart race.

Now, looking in those deadened eyes, his heart stilled.

You’re falling sweetheart. And I don’t know if I can catch you.

“Shower first. And food. Then you can have it.”

She puffed out a breath as she pushed herself off her knees. He’d expected and argument. Honestly, he’d hoped for it. At least she’d feel something.

So lost.

He held out a hand to her.

“Come here,” she inspected his outstretched hand for a moment before taking it. He pulled her up and guided her to the bathroom. His hand left hers as he backed to the door. She glanced in the mirror briefly before casting her eyes down to the sink. He’d be willing to bet if he left her now, she’d be in the same spot when he returned.

“You gonna be ok?”

Silence.

“Do you need help?”

No response, but she lifted her glassy eyes towards his. He knew her pride would never allow her to truly ask.

He stepped forward slowly, holding an arm out to her. Allowing her the opportunity to push him away, but she didn’t. He stood before her and reached for her bag, dropping it into the sink. Tucked her shotgun next to the door then guided her jacket off her arms, tossing it onto the floor. He unbuckled the holster that hung on her hips, setting it onto her bag. He started to pull her tee shirt from her waistband when her hand wrapped around his wrist gently. He stilled, quickly releasing her shirt.

“I think,” her voice was barely above a whisper. “I think I can do it. Thank you.”

He retreated back to the door, picking up the shotgun. He’d considered taking her pistol, but leaving her without protection was not an option. She’d likely shoot him before giving that up anyways.

“I’ll be back.”

Before he left the room, he switched the radio on. Fearful that leaving her in silence would allow the darkness to fester. Dorris Day’s rendition of ‘Again’ softly filled the room. He glanced back to the bathroom. From this angle he could see her gun still holstered in her belt. He could see her reflection in the mirror. In the shower. His eyes didn’t linger. As he stepped out into the hall, he sent up a silent prayer to whoever may have been listening.

Let her be okay.

Cooper made it back quickly with their meals. The sound of movement in the bathroom eased some of his fears. Plates of brahmin steaks and carrots were arranged on the tables lining the couch, paired with mugs of water.

His hat, coat and bandolier were discarded on the coat rack. His shotgun was laid across the armoire, beside hers. Kate emerged from the bathroom as he was standing beside the couch, unbuckling his gun belt. Her damp hair tucked behind her ears. Some color had come back to her face, but her eyes were still lifeless. She held her gun belt and bag bunched in her arms. He discarded his belt on the table, moving to take her stuff from her.

“Sorry. I didn’t realize I only had a spare shirt.”

Honestly, he hadn’t even noticed she was standing there in just a shirt. A long, oversized denim button down rested just above her knee.

“It’s fine,” he hung her bag up beside his. Her gun belt next to her food. “Sit. Eat.”

Bare feet padded past him. She settled into the couch and placed the plate on her lap, but made no move to pick up the fork.

“Don’t make me feed you,” Cooper sank into the couch beside her as he removed his gloves and grabbed his own plate from the end table.

Eyes narrowed at him for a moment before she took a cautious bite. Some light returned to her eyes as she let out a groan.

“Shit this is good.”

The meal was average at best, but better than canned food. When was the last time she’d had a decent meal? He doubted even she knew.

She was thin. Thin was not uncommon around here, but it wasn’t her. She’d always taken better care of herself than most. She was strong, toned in places, but there had always been a softness to her curves.

The pair ate their meals wordlessly as ‘Maybe’ by the Ink spots filled the silence.

Kate placed her empty back onto the table beside her. A bit more color in her features. She’d needed the calories. Cooper offered his plate to her but she brushed him off.

“I’m sorry,” her hands fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “I…I lost my cool.”

He studied her for a moment before he set his plate on the table.

“He shouldn’t have touched you.”

“He meant nothing by it,” she turned to look at him, shame washed across her face.

His knee tucked up on the couch as he turned to face her. A long arm resting on the back of the couch.

“Doesn’t matter.”

She hummed a response. Silence fell between them again before she turned towards him, tucking her knees beside his. She tugged at the hem of her shirt attempting to cover her thighs. Thighs covered in bruises, scrapes, and scars.

He’d always been taken by how beautiful she was. Curls had begun to form as her hair dried, draped over her shoulders, no longer weighed down by the debris of the wastes. His fingers twitched with the urge to reach out and wrap one around his finger. Her skin, while scarred, was still smooth, but its normal luster had faded.

What concerned him the most was how stoic she had become. She was still a charmer, but that was an act. When they’d spent time together before, alone, she’d let him see a piece of who she really was. Maybe it was just an act, but he didn’t think so.

Her laugh was contagious. Despite her best attempts to contain it around others, he’d managed to coax a few good ones from her before. And, she was fucking smart. Not just street smart, but well read. After not having a stimulating conversation in almost 200 years, she was a breath of fresh air. And she was kind. Just like she had been earlier with Freckles. Sure, they’d screwed the kid over, but she’d softened the blow for him.

This woman before him was so different from the one he’d befriended. Not a lesser woman, but a broken one. That thought about broke him too.

Partly because he cared for her. Partly because she was becoming a liability.

This job was not one he needed. If it weren’t for her he wouldn’t have even considered it. He was more than capable, and happy, with smaller jobs or looting. It wasn’t like he was trying to build some beautiful life out here. He had a mission and that was to find his family. Find Janey.

He hadn’t decided what he would do when he found them, if he found them, but he had to find them. Some days he considered ending Barb for all the atrocities she was responsible for, for taking his little girl. His little partner. But a part of him still loved Barb, and if Janey had been kept safe all these years, maybe that would be enough for him. His mind started to run away from him. If he let it run too far, he’d wind up just like Kate. Likely worse.

He couldn’t let himself become attached to someone else. Especially someone who could jeopardize his end goal. Tomorrow, he’d get her somewhere safe. After that, he’d return to his path. The one that ends at his family.

The idea of walking away from Kate caused a pain reminiscent of losing them. Muted, not nearly as intense, but there.

“You should sleep,” he stood grabbing his bag from the coat rack and pulled out a canister of jet. He tossed it into her lap before heading towards the bathroom to shower. “I’ll take the couch. We have to be out of here early.”

“Oh fuck,” Kate remained seated on the couch as she rubbed her forehead, “I didn’t even have a chance to tell you, we have another job.”

Guess they were having this conversation now.

“Kate, you need a break.”

She ignored him, pressing on.

“Leroy is willing to get me information, but he needs some supplies first.” She dug into her bag, pulling out a folded piece of paper and holding it out for him as he walked back to her.

“That location supposedly has some material he needs. Needs to be cleared. Raiders. Shouldn’t be too hard but Leroy said they are tougher than most.”

The map was poorly drawn, but there was something familiar about it. He’d seen this map before.

“Where is this?”

Their eyes met over the map.

“A vault.”

Cooper wasn’t a religious man. As far as he was concerned, if there ever was a God, they’d forsaken this place long ago. But that was some divine fucking intervention if he’d ever seen it.

Chapter Text

Cool metal presses to her temple. 

“Get up.”

A bruising grip on her arm drags her outside.

Knees press painfully into rocky sand.

“She’s a lot smoother than I would have expected.”

Soft sobs. Mom.

“Don’t hurt her. Please. She has nothing to do with this,” anguish. Dad.

A cruel laugh.

“Gonna earn back all that money you cost me and much, much more. Wonder how long she’ll last. According to Fenton, a long fucking time.”

“No!” A guttural roar cut short. Gunfire.

Soft sobs turn to ear piercing screams. Gunfire.

Silence. 

Throat raw. Cheeks damp.

Silence.

Kate shot up gasping for air. Her hand pressed to the center of her chest in an attempt to steady her bounding heart. Teeth gritted as her chest heaved. Any attempt to catch her breath was futile. The tendons in her neck strained with her gasping breath. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for anything to grasp onto. Something real. 

Moonlight lit Cooper’s long, lean body as he crossed the room to her. 

Ringing slowly grew in her ears. Her fingers flexed as numbness crept along them. Cramping in her foot elicited a ragged gasp.

The edge of the bed dipped as Cooper sat beside her. A scarred hand cautiously moved towards her, affording her time to protest his touch. 

Her hand shot out to grasp his. Knuckles grew white as she clung to him. 

A hand settled softly across her back. Slowly rubbing circles.

“Breathe,” Cooper leaned down so she could see his eyes. “Breathe with me. In.” 

He brought her hand to his chest, pushing her trembling fingers to splay across his bare skin. Heat flooded her hand. She sucked in a few sharp inhales that caught in her throat. Shadows grew at the edges of her vision.

“Kate,” Cooper’s voice, soft but firm, cut through the screaming in her ears, “let it out.”

Her head dropped forward as she bit out a long, erratic breath. She managed a deep inhale, smoother than her last. Followed by a slow exhale through pursed lips. Her hand pushed into Cooper’s chest, channeling his rhythm. 

“There ya go,” the smoothe baritone of his voice enveloped the roaring in her ears, soothing the beast. “You’re safe.”

Safe. 

They sat there wordlessly for several minutes as Kate regained control of her breathing. Cooper's hand on her back remained steady. The shadows began to recede. Spasms in her feet eased. Sensation returned to her fingers, allowing Kate to feel him fully. A finger gently traced the striations of a nearly exposed muscle. If she could feel him, she was here. Not in a nightmare of her former reality. 

“How often they coming?” His voice was so soft, nearly a whisper.

Her heavy head raised to look at him. Tension creased his brow. His eyes filled with that same emotion she’d seen in the desert. Not pity. Something else.

“Yesterday,” her voice cracked, “was the first time I hadn’t had one in months.”

The creases between his brows deepend.

Tears flooded her vision. Her face crumpled as he pulled her into his chest. Silent sobs shook through her. The muscles in her forehead ached. His chin settled atop her head as muscular arms encircled her. Keeping her from collapsing back into the bed. 

She hadn’t cried since she left the commonwealth. Not like this. She hadn’t even been allowed to say goodbye to them. They’d wrenched her to her bare feet almost as soon as their heads hit the ground. She’d bit, and kicked, and screamed. She bashed her head into a nose, felt the crunch, felt a butt of a shotgun smash her head, then nothing. She woke up being dragged down the roadway, legs gouged and bleeding from the destroyed roadway. Kingsport had erupted in chaos in the distance.

The screams of everyone she knew was a sound she would never forget. 

Once she’d gotten her feet under her, she no longer had the time to cry. While that was never the way it was supposed to happen, she knew she would have been alone one day. Her father had prepared her for that very moment for 24 years. There was no more time for tears. Only survival. Her new existence. 

And that is exactly what she’d done for the past 10 years. She’d fought. She’d ran. She’d hunted. She’d used every ounce of skill her father, and mother, had given her. Used them, and honed them. Honed them into a formidable adversary, capable of making her way home. But, somewhere along the way, she’d lost her reasons for doing so. She’d wandered off course and lost sight of her path entirely. Instead, she wandered through the wasteland of life, unsure of where to turn. 

These wastelands were dark. The monsters hunted in these wastelands. Dangers hid in every direction, around every corner. Wolves lurked in these lands, some in sheep’s clothing. So she tread cautiously, warily. She’d tried staying on a steady path. One wrong turn and claws swiped out, knocking her in another direction. Her wandering had become frantic, erratic. Desperate for a path forward, a way out. 

“Trust no one, kid.” 

She’d taken her father’s advice to heart. Resisted the urge to follow those sheep to the bright meadows they frolicked in. Watched them from afar as they enjoyed their lives together. These lands were so lonely. 

She couldn’t trust the wolves. She couldn’t trust the sheep. She could only trust herself. Day in and day out she busied herself with surviving. Kept moving. Kept working. Kept fighting. Only stopping to rest her eyes somewhere she could board herself in. There’d been weeks at a time without a friendly interaction. Always on edge. The anticipation of whatever danger she would encounter next had worn on her. As time drew on, tension in her grew. So many nights she’d been unable to sleep, startling at even the faintest of noises. She’d crafted herself in the likeness of a predator, but in truth, she was just the prey. A sheep in wolf’s clothing.  

There had been a time where these lands had some vibrance. Blue skies. Purple hub flowers. These lands had played a soft melody, one of life. Birds sung. Crickets chirped. But as time went on those colors faded to various shades of gray. Dreary. Bleak. Life’s song faded from her world. Silence. 

After years of being thrown from one direction to another, she no longer knew where to turn. She no longer saw the point. So she laid there. In the middle of this desolate land. Nights shared with her only steady companion, jet. Numb. 

Almost ready to leave this place entirely until one day a light appeared in the distance. She’d studied the light as it grew brighter. It scared her at first, just like everything else out here. She’d pull away, fleeing from it until she was back into the cool embrace of the jet. Back to the darkness. Numb again. Until the light returned again. Eventually, curiosity outweighed fear. She allowed it to grow brighter each time it found her, but she pulled away every time. Seeking reprieve in the darkness. It became a dance. One she craved. 

The light had never been as bright as it was now, this close. Close enough that she could feel it’s warmth on her outstretched hand. The light tugged her towards a path she’d never seen before. The path was far in the distance, too far to make out much detail. But from where she stood, that path looked vibrant.

The darkness had never been this intense either. She could feel it’s cool touch reaching for her back. Sinking it’s claws into her flesh. Desperate to pull her back into it’s suffocating embrace. 

Cooper’s embrace was so much more comforting.

“You keep runnin’,” he whispered in her ear, “those demons are gonna keep chasin’.”

Her legs were tired. She didn’t want to run anymore. 

She pushed off his chest, immediately missing the warmth of his skin against hers. It quickly returned with the swipe of Cooper’s calloused thumb across her cheek, taking her tears with it. She saw that same warmth in his eyes. Tension between his brows loosened as he watched his thumb. His taut lips parted slightly.

“Lay down.” 

Without a second thought, she was lying back. Cooper leaned over her as he settled himself next to her, lying on his side to face her. She’d turned her head to meet his gaze. He reached for the hand that rested across her stomach. His thumb brushed gently across her knuckles.

“Mine,” he cleared his throat, tension creeping back into his features. Easing slightly as he looked down at their hands. “Start the same way.”

Her brows pinched. 

“My daughter, Janey, holds her tiny thumb out, trying to cover the mushroom cloud.” He squeezed his eyes shut as he took a breath. Kate rolled to face him fully, gripping his hand. Anchoring him. Just as he’d anchored her. His eyes met hers, searching for something.

“Got her out of there as fast as I could. Had to get her to the vault. It was-it was fucking chaos. If it weren’t for my horse, we never would have gotten out of there. Streets were clogged with cars and people. My horse had never ran faster. Like he knew.

“She was trembling as the bombs fell around us. People started dropping in the streets. I didn’t think we were going to make it, but we did. Handed her off to her mother just before they shut the door. The last thing I remember is her trying to reach out for me as it shut, then it got so fucking bright.”

Tears slowly streamed down his face. 

“You didn’t make it in?”

“Wasn’t allowed. Lost my spot when Barb and I divorced. It was one of their VIP models. Vault-tech management and their families only.”

Kate’s brow furrowed as white hot anger boiled within her.

“Your wife, let them kick you out of the vault?”

“Ex-wife,” he corrected, “and I guess she was the one kicking me out. She was vault-tech.”

How could anyone do this to someone they loved? The father of their child. How could they put their own child through the pain of watching their parent’s last moments.

Lithe fingers reached up to brush the tears from his cheek. Before she could pull away, his hand cupped hers, holding it there. His eyes closed as he pushed into her palm. He was here, with her. Not in the nightmare of his former reality.

“Did you go back?”

“As soon as…as I could. Vault was fucking open and empty. Not even a fucking table left. Just a big empty room.”

Kate’s mind spun. The pain, physical and mental, must have been excruciating. 

“I have to know what happened. Can’t leave this world knowing she may need me.”

Rough lips pressed a soft kiss to her palm before turning his eyes back to her.

She realized what she’d seen in his eyes. Not pity, but understanding. He saw her pain, her anger, her despair. Her fear. He saw it all, but didn’t shy away from it.  In that moment she saw his eyes completely different from how she’d seen them before. In his eyes, she saw a mirror, a reflection of herself. 

He’d been through hell and back but still managed to stay on his path. Perhaps, if she took it, his path could lead to hers?

“The vault tomorrow,” Kate gasped.

Cooper smiled softly and nodded.

“Doubt she’s there, but I need to search it before we head out.”

“I’ll help.” 

His smile widened. 

They stared at each other for a moment, so many emotions traveling between their eyes. 

“Mine,” a lump formed in her throat. “Mine, start in my room. I was sleeping and woke up to a gun to my head. They dragged me, half fucking naked, out to the beach. Tossed me in the sand in front of my parents. They had guns pressed to their heads.”

Her breathing grew ragged again. An arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her in close to his body. Her hand splayed across his chest, anchoring herself there.The hand around her waist gently caressed her back. She blinked back tears before pressing on.

“My mom,” her vision filled with tears as the memories crashed into her like a tidal wave, “was so scared.”

She shook her head as she exhaled between clenched teeth. The sound of waves crashing filled her mind. Cooper’s hand stilled, pressing into her back a bit more. 

I’m here.

“My parents ran from their former employer before I was born. Some warlord named Roscoe. Had hoped the Commonwealth was too far for him to bother chasing them. After a few years, they figured they were in the clear.

“Roscoe never intended to hurt me. Just wanted to break them one more fucking time before…” a strangeled sob escaped her. Instinctively she pushed back from him in a feeble attempt to flee. He tightened his arm around her waist, holding her steady. 

“You saw it happen.” She silently thanked him for sparing her from having to relive that moment.

Tears filled Kate’s vision as she looked up at Cooper. Teeth still clenched as she nodded.

Cooper tucked an arm beneath her head, pulling her into his chest. Sobs consumed her. 

In rapid succession, memories flooded in. Her mother helping her plant her first tato plant. Her father teaching her to shoot. Years flew by before her. Faces of those she cared for. Verna, Phil, Sammy. Her community. John . Endless memories filled with happiness. Eventually turning into one’s filled with heartbreak and pain. 

Tears flowed from her until there were none left. Her face felt puffy. Without a doubt, she looked like a total mess. Her hand pushed between them as she wiped away tears. Cooper leaned back to peer down at her.

“He brought you here?”

“I was supposed to be brought to his settlement in Wyoming. To work in the brothel my mother had worked in. Sent me with some of his men while he headed elsewhere.”

A bitter laugh escaped her.

“He didn’t even fucking care enough to escort me there himself. I guess all he cared about was making my parents' last moment as painful as possible.”

A large hand raised to cup her cheek. 

“We’d made it just into the plains when rad storms knocked us off course. Could see the twisters in the distance. Fucking terrifying. I could barely stand at that point. My body was shredded. Had a raging infection. I was barely hanging on. Fucking idiots ended up wandering right into a deathclaw breeding ground. It was chaos.”

“You,” his brows shot up, “survived walking into a fucking deathclaw breeding ground?”

A smile tugged at her lips.

“Wicked fucking lucky. They were too busy ripping my captor’s to shreds. I grabbed the first gun I found and booked it. Never ran so fast or so far in my entire life. I knew if I stopped, I’d be dead. Ended up finding a farm a few hours later. Collapsed before I made it to their front gate. They were good people, took care of me, gave me a job. Stayed with them for six months before hitting the road.”

Pride filled Cooper's eyes as stared at her in awe.

“I ever tell you how fucking impressive you are.”

Her smile deepened as heat flooded her cheeks. 

The full weight of her ordeal hit her. She was impressive. This world had knocked her down day after day and she got up and flipped it the fucking bird. She couldn’t let this place pull her down into the darkness anymore. She didn’t want to let this place take anymore from her than it already had.

“I have to go back. I can’t leave this place without knowing what happened to my home. The people I cared for. I can’t leave without knowing if they need me. But I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“You will be. One day. Doesn’t have to be today,” his fingers tucked a errant curl behind her ear. “In fact, I feel like keepin’ you around a bit longer.”

She smiled at that. Leave it to Cooper to make her smile, truly smile, at one of her worst fucking moments.

A calloused thumb brushed her cheek.He looked at her as if he was looking at one of the seven wonders of the world. With adoration. 

When was the last time someone had held her like this? Without expectation. With concern. For comfort.

The night her parents died. Her mother. Kate had returned home late that night, distraught and heart broken. Her mother had only seen her cry a handful of times past her childhood. She’d held her until she settled. The next time they’d seen each other her mother was being executed.

She’d wasted her last moments with her mother, crying over a man. Not just over the fact she’d lost a lover, but a friend.

That is exactly what prevented her from acting on her desires with Cooper. She couldn’t risk losing her last bit of light. 

Men had taken so much from her. Time after time. But never Cooper. He’d only ever given. 

Fingers traced along the curve of her hip. Heat bloomed in her belly.  

There’d been so many times she yearned to reach out and touch him. Everything about him set her alight. The way he prowled through the wastes, a ghost in the wind. The way his lip curled into a sly smile when their eyes would meet. His flirtatious jokes reserved only for her. Their unspoken language conveyed without so much as a glance. His anger, never directed at her. How viciously he destroyed anyone who’d tried to hurt her. 

Cooper would never hurt her physically. She could have easily fallen into bed with him years ago. Could have found release in his body. She’d even dreamed of it, many times. But the thought of chasing him away kept her from taking that step.

She couldn’t handle heartbreak like that again. Not out here. Alone. 

But as he held her, shared his pain with her, she had a thought. Maybe this time would be different?

She really wanted to find out.

“Sleep,” he tucked her into his chest again, “got a few hours before we gotta leave.”

She buried her face into his chest, relishing the caress of his skin on hers. He smelled faintly of tobacco, earthy. She liked it.

“Thank you, Cooper.”

A gentle kiss pressed to her hair helped release the last bits of tension she held in her body. As she slowly drifted back off to sleep, a thought popped into her head. For the first time, in a long time, she craved something far more than she craved jet.

She craved him, not just his touch but him. The light he had brought into her life. 

A light she no longer could bring herself to push away. 

Chapter Text

If he could, Cooper would have shot the sun down from the sky just to hold her a bit longer. The feeling of her body pressed against his, clinging to him, was better than any drug he’d found out here. When he wasn’t staring out the dilapidated window, begging the sun to slow its ascent, he’d been watching her. They’d laid there, atop the sheets, affording him a few hours to appreciate their bodies intertwined.

For once, he was grateful for the oppressive heat.

He’d tried not to gawk at her, but it was fucking impossible. He was just a man after all, and not a very good one at that. And it was more than just that. 

There’s always been something there. Maybe in the beginning it was just a mutual respect, but he still gravitated towards her. He’d always thought she was beautiful but he’d pushed away any possibility of that for a while. Until it wiggled its way in, maybe a year after he met her. It’d been the first exchange they’d had that wasn’t tense.

He’d made it to a small settlement on his way to turn in a bounty. To call this place a settlement was a bit generous. Just a couple of campfires and a cooking set up at a small farmhouse. Owners sold some of their goods off to travelers. Settlement was pretty fucking vital to travelers, so it was generally a type of neutral ground. This place was in the middle of fucking no where and the only people passing through there had a purpose, and it wasn’t raiding. 

He’d gotten in late and Kate was already sitting at one of the fires, alone. Their eyes had met and he flashed her a smile. She’d frozen for a moment, but she’d returned it. The first smile she’d given him. It was small, and hesitant, but it was still beautiful. He’d taken a chance joining her. 

At first, he thought she was going to tell him to fuck off. On the road, she was on edge. Kept things professional. He’d settled down across from her against a rock. Their eyes met again over the fire and he was stunned stupid for a moment. Chaotic curls were pushed into a deep part, her cheeks blushed from the sun and dirt stained. Firelight danced in her eyes and washed across her face, casting her in a yellow glow. She wasn’t just beautiful, she was fucking stunning. 

“Where ya headin’ cowbody?”

“Nowhere. How ‘bout you sweetheart?”

“Same. Small world, huh?” 

They’d ended up sharing a meal, swapped some knowledge of the area. Useful info. He’d gotten details on a vault he hadn’t known of, she’d gotten a lead on a heavily radiated site. She’d asked him about some of the bounty outposts in the area. Was considering making a career change. He’d assumed it was the rad exposure. It truly was amazing she was in such good shape. Humans had become more rad resistant over time, but to withstand prolonged exposure this successfully was impressive. Not impossible, if the correct precautions were taken, but still impressive. 

He knew she’d be fine on her own. The caravan was a high value target. Nuclear material paid well. Wouldn’t be unusual for a caravan like that to be carrying some serious caps. They were likely hit often. He’d even come across their caravan being ambushed once. Had stayed out of that one, but only because Kate had it handled. Her aim was fucking good and she was fast. A smart fighter too. Always kept the high ground. Didn’t let anyone get too close. Her companions were a different fucking story. Pitiful aim. She’d carried that group. 

The conversation was pretty routine, but it was the best damn conversation he’d had in a while. She’d gifted him with a few more smiles too. A big one when he’d offered her some mac and cheese. That was when he realized this was going to be an issue. He didn’t just want her, he wanted to be near her. When he woke the next morning, she’d already taken off.  

For years they’d done this dance. One of them always broke away when they’d gotten too close. Usually her. But they’d pushed their boundaries, slowly, as time went on. Eventually there were heated looks, flirty comments. Tension between them had been simmering for years.

Then she went quiet. Had stopped showing up at her favored outposts. Rumors started circulating. There was talk of some sightings, but most had assumed someone had taken her out. At first, he just happened to show up in an area where she’d been rumored to have been last. Truly, he hadn’t tried to follow her trail. His path just happened to take him that way. At least, that is what he told himself. About 5 months in, he started tracking her a bit more seriously. He’d told himself once he found her, made sure she was alive, he’d head back on his way. But then he found her, staring at that damn bounty board, looking completely despondent. 

Leaving her in that way, would have been a death sentence. He’d seen it before. Fuck, he’d experienced it himself plenty of time. It wasn’t her time, he couldn’t let it be her time. 

However, he couldn’t keep wasting time here, with her. As long as Janey was out there, that is exactly what this was. A complete waste of time. A risky one at that. He couldn’t rope himself to someone who was going to get him killed. If she couldn’t get it together, he was going to have to make a difficult decision. 

Laying here, with her, was going to make that decision so much fucking harder. 

His gaze trailed up her body over and over again, as he tried to memorize every detail of her form. Her foot had dragged the fabric of his pants up his leg, exposing his shin to her. Her bare leg, long and lean, draped over him. The story of her life in the wastes etched into her skin. Beautiful, yet tragic.

The hem of her shirt had inched up, exposing the black cotton panties that hugged her hips and disappeared from his view around the curve of her ass. Beautifully contrasting her light skin untouched by the violent kiss of the sun. A slender arm draped across his bare abdomen, feeling too fucking perfect there. Wild curls flowed down her shoulder and across her back, resting atop the arm he’d wrapped around her shoulders. Her cheek pressed into his chest, face lax with sleep. A small sigh escaped her.

To wake her felt like the greatest sin. She needed the rest, desperately. But for both of their safety, they had to leave. 

“Kate,” he whispered as his hand smoothed down her back. She arched into his touch as she buried her face further into his chest. “Gotta get up.”

She groaned as she pushed off him, flopping back into the mattress. Hands clasped above her head as she stretched her arms up. Pressing her head back into the pillow as her back bowed into a deep stretch.

His own groan stifled, as he watched the absolute masterpiece that was her. Fighting desperately not to pin her down and worship every last inch of her. Now was hardly the time, and he couldn’t be the one to cross that line. A twitch in his cock sent him almost shooting out of bed.

It had been ages since someone had affected him like this. Sure, he’d had his fair share of casual fucks, many of which he’d had to pay for. Just to scratch the itch. Kate stoked the fucking fire. Being in her orbit was exhilarating. He’d had more fun in his brief encounters with her than he’d had any other time since the world changed. Sure, this encounter had been a bit more emotional than usual, but he was just happy to be able to see her.  

Hadn’t felt this way since Barb. Not that he’d ever looked hard enough to find that feeling again. He hadn’t wanted it. That type of feeling got…distracting. 

He kept his back to her as he dressed, hiding any evidence of his wandering thoughts. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off. While he couldn’t entirely understand it, she was comfortable with him. And he was comfortable with her. That was far more important than his desires. 

In a way, he trusted her.  After Barb, he doubted he could ever trust someone fully again. The decision she made, to change the world forever, was so unlike the woman he fell in love with. He played his own part in that, he knew that. There were so many things he could have done better. In part, the scars Kate wore were a reminder to him of his failures as a husband. That thought did something to him.

He chanced a glance over his shoulder to find her sitting at the edge of the bed, rolling her head side to side.

“How ya feelin’”

Her hand rubbed the back of her neck as she glanced over at him.

“Oh, right as radioactive fucking rain,” she smiled softly, “but better. Thank you, again.”

He gave her a soft smile in response as he buttoned his shirt. It was understandable. She had just barreled through a metaphorical city block’s worth of walls not even two hours ago. All things considered, she seemed to be handling it well.

Bare feet padded past him to the bathroom. Clothing rustled and thudded into the sink. She let out a deep sigh followed by the distinctive hiss of a jet canister. Silence filled the room for a few moments. Cooper let out a sigh of his own. If they had the time to stay put somewhere while she detoxed, he’d have offered her addictol. She’d get there though. The hiss of jet cut short. Only half a dose. Clothing rustled again, allowing him to ease back into preparing for the day. 

She emerged from the bathroom a bit more somber than when she’d gone in. She walked to the window to assess the streets as she tucked her white tee-shirt into her jeans. She secured her hair in a low ponytail and placed her hat atop her head. Cooper passed her gun belt to her from the armoire. 

A harshness fell over her features as she settled the belt back onto her waist. Shoulders pulled back. Jaw set. Her head held a bit higher.  Her eyes held an edge. Now this version of  Kate was one of his favorites. This version was confident, witty, intimidating. This version got a fucking job done. This version was fucking lethal. 

“Ready?” He held her shotgun out to her.

Her head tilted as she smirked at him, taking the shotgun from him and attaching it to her back. 

“Let’s get this show on the road, Cowboy.”

There she is.

________________

They’d reached the perimeter of the vault within a few hours. The sun had just completed its ascent into the sky, but Kate was already drenched in sweat. She’d spent most of the journey cursing every dumb decision she’d made that lead her to being in the south for a fucking heat wave. There’d been a lot that she could remember, probably more that she’d forgotten about.

Cooper seemed lost in his own world. They only spoke to one another periodically, and strictly business.The quiet hadn’t been uncomfortable, but not necessarily comfortable either. Definitely tense.  

The vault was carved into the base of a mesa. Outside four raiders lounged. Clearly not morning people. Cooper and Kate were tucked into the hollow path carved into the neighboring plateau, leaning on opposite walls. Close enough that they should have definitely had guards on this. 

Idiots .

Two idiots leaned on either side of the entryway. One lounged in a chair in the shack about 50 feet from the entrance. Head back, mouth open, snoring loud enough for Cooper and Kate to hear. A larger one, sporting a spiked mohawk, paced between the shack and entrance.  

Kate’s head leaned back against and lit a cigarette. A foot pressed into the wall behind her. Her arms folded across her chest as she blew out a puff of smoke.

“So, how ya wanna play this?”

A knowing smirk played on Cooper’s face as he leaned against the opposing wall, lighting a cigarette of his own.

Kate smirked as she raised a brow at him. Oh yes. This was what they both needed. Their favorite game. A performance really.

Wordlessly, She pushed off the wall and sauntered towards the entrance. Three out of the four idiots perked up to assess the incoming threat, pointing their guns in her direction. Spikey shouted at the sleeping idiot, who startled and fell back in his chair, thudding to the ground with a loud groan. A moment later he was scrambling up to the window, drawing on her as well.

“Easy boys, took a wrong turn, just looking for directions.” Her palms raised, cigarette still tucked between two fingers.

The four men exchanged weary glances, but permitted her approach, guns still fixed on her. She threw the idiot in the shack a wink. He smiled sleepily at her, easing his grip on his pistol. The idiots on either side of the entrance fell victim to the hypnotizing sway of her hips. Their pistols drifted wide, losing sight of their target. So fucking easy. 

There were few things she could count on in the wastes, but there was this. The desires of men would be their undoing, and they stood no chance against pure feminine rage. She fucking hated these men. These men, who took what they wanted, when they wanted. Felt entitled to whatever or whoever. The fact that these idiots had that level of audacity despite being so goddamn ugly was enraging. That rage she channeled through her body. As if Hera herself used her body as a vessel for revenge. Revenge in the name of every female a male had ever wronged. In the name of any innocent life affected by these vile beings.

A role she was more than happy to play. 

Spikey dragged his lecherous gaze up her legs, practically salivating. Eyes crept across the skin she left exposed beneath the collar of her coat. Unknowingly fanning the fires that fed her simmering rage. 

She stopped just before him, his gun practically touching her chest. She held his stare with lidded eyes as she pushed his pistol aside. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. He was completely entranced. Silence had fallen over the area, broken by her taking a deep drag of her cigarette.

“Whatcha hiding back there?” She craned her neck to peer around his overinflated frame, smoke pouring from her lips, “is that a vault? I’ve never seen one in person.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Think I can take a look?” 

“Well,” Spikey holstered his gun, “I think that could be arranged. How ‘bout a full tour?”

His wink made her nauseous. But she met him with a flirtatious smile. She knew all too well where his “full tour” would take her. Likely would have started and ended in a secluded room, whether she permitted it or not. Watching him die was going to be so fucking delicious.  

She approached his side, linking her arm around his. He smelled fucking awful. Blood, dirt, and a whole lotta sweat. Pungent. He flexed his muscle as he turned her in the direction of the vault. 

“Can I press the button?” She squealed excitedly, playing up her role. As he nodded back at her, eyes drifted down the slope of her breasts. As her hand met the button, his grip on her loosened. She peered up at him with a saccharine smile. He gaped like a fish, his eyes wide, as blood poured from his mouth. 

“What’s that honey?” Her hand cupped her ear. She took another drag of her cigarette, blowing smoke in his face,  “can’t quite hear ya.”

He coughed and sputtered as he looked down to the tip of Cooper’s blade poking out from his chest. Cooper held him there, his gloved hand squeezing Spikey’s wrist, preventing him from reaching for his pistol. His teeth clenched in disgust as he watched Spikey drown. The blade twisted in his chest, drawing out the suffering. Cooper’s eyes met hers over Spikey’s shoulder. A villainous smile spread across her face.

Right now, she was the wolf in sheep's clothing. 

Cooper dropped spikey over the railing of the platform. Behind him, the other idiots laid in puddles of their own blood. Four men, if you could even call them that, dead and she didn’t even have to get her hands dirty. Hera would have been proud.

“Guess we’re taking the self guided tour today,” she flicked the cigarette butt over the railin before turning back and pressing the button. 

Cooper chuckled in response as he strolled across the platform bridge, exhaling the last puff of his own cigarette. They had done this routine so many times, they executed their roles seamlessly. Given his ability to take several more bullets than her, Cooper would take point. Kate would pick locks, hack terminals, crawl into the occasional air duct. The last one always freaked Cooper out a bit, mainly because she didn’t usually tell him when she was going to do it. He’d lose her in a room and scramble to figure out which room she was crawling to. She thought it was hilarious. 

As they stepped through the vault door, two raiders were standing at the far end of the hall. Both were taken out quickly by Cooper’s quick draw.

“Hey, save some for me,” she aggressively whispered.

As if on cue, a Raider wielding a baseball bat popped up in the doorway to their right. Kate blew his head clean off before he even stepped foot over the threshold. 

“Saved one for ya,” Cooper whispered back as he pushed down the hall. 

They pressed on, clearing and searching each room as they went. Being as thorough as possible to not miss any clues about Janey. Leroy had either overestimated these raiders or underestimated her. Either of which annoyed the shit out of her. This job was so damn easy it wasn’t even fun. Coupled with the fact that they’d found nothing of use on Janey despite searching rooms for hours, both of their moods were completely soured by the time they approached a door locked by a terminal. 

The terminal was advanced, but nothing Kate couldn’t get through. She had the password figured out in two attempts. So damn boring. 

Boots crunched as they stepped through the doorway. Lights smashed out of the ceiling. The green glow of a working terminal softly lit the left side of the room. Kate immediately started working on hacking the  password. This terminal was far more difficult, one that even the most skilled hackers would have struggled on. Kate was good, but had only managed to get through one terminal this advanced. 

She blew through her first two attempts, neither of which had any similarities to the password. She switched tactics, instead weeding out duds. Cooper used his lighter to check the rest of the room. She’d managed to eliminate a few duds when a soft candle flickered to life at the far end of the room, followed by two more. Kate huffed out a long breath as she rubbed her eyes. Everything was starting to blur together. She wasn’t getting anywhere with this. 

“Must be hiding something good,” Cooper’s voice, tense and low, cut through the dimness of the room. She looked over to find him digging through a few dresser drawers, pulling out a few packs of mentats and a caps stash. He popped a mentat in his mouth as he approached her, plopping one into her outstretched palm. She caught his eyes drifting to her mouth as she placed them onto her tongue. Chalkiness coated mouth as she turned her attention back to the terminal. On her final attempt, she cracked it. 

Vault 38 Overseer’s Logs popped up onto the screen in harsh green writing. Kate ignored the standard cautionary warnings and flitted through various lists. Mainly reports detailing the various experiments the vault was assigned with. The vault had been used for mutation experiments. Initially, test subjects were injected with an offshoot of FEV, EEP. Early on, orders had been sent to shut down the project. Another vault testing the agent had relatively poor outcomes. Unlike FEVs, EEPs were too stupid to be of any value. Uncontrollable. And ridiculously strong. A dangerous combo not worth the risk. 

Instead, the vault transitioned to studying the long term effects of nuclear radiation on the body. A pointless and cruel objective that created endless years of suffering for the subjects. The vault-tec equivalent of busy work. 

This guy had clearly lost his mind pretty early on, half the entries were nonsensical gibberish. The ones that were clear detailed all the horrifying ways the wack job tortured the poor souls of this vault. Endless entries of suffering spanning almost 15 years. 

It was beginning to look like there would be nothing of real use of the terminal until Kate made it to the final few files. Kate clicked on the file entitled Return Authorization. The vault had been decommissioned early on. Orders were sent to dispatch all remaining subjects and personnel. The overseer was cleared to attempt to return to a “headquarters” for reassignment. An absolutely crazy, and impossible task 15 years post nuclear apocalypse. A few more clicks and a map filled the screen. Cooper leaned in closer, studying all the details. A marker blinked at the lower corner of the map, Vault 14. 

“An executive vault,” Cooper hastily reached for a torn paper and broken pencil, too small for his hand, and attempted to recreate the map. He grunted in frustration, unable to draw a straight line. 

Kate’s hand rested on the edge of the paper as she gently took the tiny pencil from his hand. She found a new piece of paper and began copying the details of the map the best she could. It certainly wasn’t beautiful. She rarely wrote and her lines were a bit jagged, but it was legible. She passed the map back to Cooper, giving him a chance to inspect her work.

“This’ll do,” he studied the page intently. “Vault is due east. Don’t know much about the area, but from what I have heard, it’s crawling with brotherhood.”

Kate turned in the chair to face him, resting an arm on the desk beside her.

“What do you wanna do? I have no problems forgetting this shit and heading there.”

Cooper studied the map a bit longer. Gears clearly turning.

“Executive vaults ain’t like most. If there is anything left in there, it’ll be heavily guarded. Add brotherhood on top of it. Can’t just go in there guns blazing. This is the type of job you prep for. We finish this shit. Gonna need some serious firepower to take something like this on anyways.”

Cooper smashed the butt of his gun through the terminal before he walked out.

____________________

It didn’t take them long to pick up on the gentle hum of radiation. A doorway, blocked by metal containers, just off the back hallway. Would have been fairly easy to clear, if someone hadn’t filled them with cement. Likely in an attempt to block the rads. Even with Cooper’s strength, it wasn’t worth trying to push them.

“All you cowboy,” Kate tapped his chest as she strolled back down the hall as Cooper tucked some grenades in between the boxes.

“Thought you were bored,” Cooper called after her as she stepped into a doorway. “Blowing shit up is plenty fun.”

“Not my thing,” her head popped out the doorway, “I got bad timing.”

“It ain’t that hard sweetheart,” he held the grenade up in the air. Kate immediately retreated back into the doorway. “Squeeze, pull, run and throw.” 

“Easier said than done,” She called from the room. 

“Ain’t you the nuclear material specialist here?”

“Yeah and the whole goal of that is not to let it explode.” 

Cooper pulled the pin and threw the grenade over his shoulder as he took a few quick steps into the doorway. Kate was crouched behind a file cabinet. 

“Jesus,” Cooper scoffed at her as an explosion rocked the hall. Metal and stone blew past the doorway, clattering on the floor. “You do get these walls were built to withstand something a bit stronger than some grenades?”

Kate rolled her eyes at him as she stepped out from behind the cabinet.

“Listen,” She brushed past him and back down the hall, “want to keep as much smooth skin in as possible. Already got a nasty scar on my back from the last time I used explosives.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” Cooper stepped out to follow her when she abruptly turned to face him. A look of concern on her face.

“I didn’t mean for that to sound so bitchy. You’re very handsome,” her hand was waving in front of her. She was flustered. She always talked with her hands when she was flustered. Or angry, or passionate. He thought it was cute. He leaned back, crossing his arms over her chest, the picture of smugness.

“Stop it,” she flashed him a stern look, her hand on her hip and her finger now pointing at him.

“You just called me handsome.” He definitely was not going to stop poking her. 

She groaned as she waved him off, turning to head down the stairwell that had been unveiled by the explosion. Rads pulsed up the steps, far stronger than before.

“I take it you took rad-x then?”

Pretty skin like that definitely wouldn’t handle this much radiation for long.

“Don’t question me. Specialist here. Remember?” She jogged down the steps trying to create distance, but he kept up to her. Practically on her heels. Relishing making her squirm a bit. The day had been tense. Cooper had been wound up so damn tight until they found that map. He thought they were walking out of here with nothing, but now he had a solid fucking lead to follow. Thanks to her. They both needed a bit of fun. 

They approached a door, locked by a terminal. Kate immediately set to unlocking it. Cooper crossed his arms and leaned against the wall next to her to watch her.

“Honey,” her eyes stayed glued to the terminal, “you got a Ghoul fetish I don’t know about?”

She turned her head, a flat look on her face, as she hit the enter key. The door between them whooshed open. Radiation waves blasted through them. While the sensation wasn’t uncomfortable for Cooper, actually it was rather enjoyable, Kate had to be feeling it. 

Before he had a chance to ask her how she was feeling, she took off into the room. Towards the green glow that illuminated the back of the room. Vats of nuclear waste were shoved against the back corner. One tipped with its contents pooling in a radioactive puddle across the floor.

Kate was lifting the canister slung over her shoulder when they heard shuffling to their left. A lot of fucking shuffling. Kate froze, head turned towards the sound. Cooper reached for his pistol when a Glowing One lunged out from behind a broken exam table, tackling Kate to the ground. He drew his gun as he sprinted towards her, unable to shoot it without hitting her. 

The canister in Kate’s hand came bashing down onto its head as she kicked its stomach, knocking it to the floor. Kate dropped the canister as she scurried backwards and drew her gun, popping rounds into its flailing body. Cooper’s head turned to the stomping now radiating from their left. 

Before him stood a green hulking lump of muscle. Worse than any super mutant. A FEV. No, not a FEV…an EEP. Big, dumb, and fucking strong. Strong enough to squish Kate like a fucking mato. Cooper mercilessly unloaded shells into the EEP who seemed completely unaffected as it turned its attention to Kate pushing backwards across the floor, reloading. 

“Fuck,” she squealed as the abominations both lunged for her. 

FUCK.

Cooper kept firing as he ran after them, wrenching the Glowing One off the desk she scurried under. Two shots to the head, and its putrid, glowing body dropped to the ground, limp. He moved to the EEP’s side as he fired round after round into its skull, attempting to get between it and Kate. After he managed to knock it to the ground, he glanced under the desk. Kate was gone. 

He fucking hated when she did this shit.

The EEP shook its head as it pushed off the ground while Cooper reloaded. Thudding came from the ceiling above them followed by a few loud bangs, drawing both Cooper and the EEP’s attention. A vent grate clattered down from the ceiling directly onto the EEP as shotgun blasts rained down onto it. Cooper’s own blasts joined the cacophony. They only stopped after the big bastard had more holes than a block of swiss cheese.

Cooper holstered his gun and walked over to the EEP, toeing it with his boot for good measure. Definitely dead. Looks like the overseer hadn’t exactly followed orders. Cooper’s hands landed on his hips as he craned his head to look into the vent.

Kate was peering down, face lit with the green glow of radiation from below.

“Specialist, huh?” He scoffed.

“In hindsight,” she gave him a guilty smile, “ I probably shouldn’t have charged in here.” 

“No,” his attempt at stern failed miserably as a chuckle slipped out, “you definitely shouldn’t have.”

“Well, if you hadn’t gotten me all flustered-”

He cocked a brow at her smugly. She rolled her eyes in response. 

“You gonna get your ass down here?” 

She looked back down to the ground hesitantly. 

“This is a lot higher than I realized,” She leaned back, sitting on her knees in the ductwork.

“Come on,” he held his arms up above him, “I’ll catch ya.”

“It didn’t seem this high coming up, I-” she shook her head as she cringed.

“God dammit Kate, just jump.”

She sighed as she slung the shotgun over her back and turned around in the duct. Slowly lowering herself down, legs first until she was dangling down far enough for Cooper to grab her ankles. He tugged a bit when she didn’t immediately let go. She bit back a shriek as he dragged her down his body and planted her feet flat on the floor in front of him. The faint smell of tarberries lingered on her, mixed with the metallic tang of fresh blood. Cooper peered down at her to find her eyes still pinched shut. She squinted up at him after a moment. 

“Not good with heights either?” He teased, not bothering to step back from her.

“Being dropped from a bridge’ll do that to a girl,” she tried to push off his chest, but he grabbed the back of her arm. Her eyes went wide as she thudded back against his chest, her lips parting slightly. 

Cooper ignored that look as he pushed the collar of her jacket aside. A nasty bite mark, jagged and torn in places stretched down her neck and part of her shoulder. Deep enough in some parts to expose muscle and tendon. Flecked with glowing saliva. 

“I’m fine,” she wrenched her arm from him as she walked away. She bent down, at the waist, and grabbed the canister from where it lay, next to the Overseer’s glowing corpse. She paused for a moment, picking up a piece of torn paper lying on the floor. An image he would file away for later. 

“Don’t try and distract me,” Cooper yanked the canister out her hand and held it over his head. “You need radaway. Now. I’ll take care of this.” She scowled up at him and he flashed his eyes at her. 

She turned to stalk out of the room mumbling something about him being so bossy,  and threw him one last glare from the doorway. His hand shooed her out the door. She flipped him off as she stormed away.

Not long after, Cooper found her tearing through some cabinets in a ravaged exam room.

“Will you just sit?” He tapped the rusty exam table, earning another eye roll from him, but she didn’t protest. 

She dropped some supplies down and hopped up to sit on the edge of the table. Cooper washed his hands while she peeled off some of her layers. When he returned to her, she was down to her old white tank top. He tried his best not to think about the fact that her bra, visible through the thin white fabric, matched her panties. He busied himself, soaking a pack of gauze with antiseptic. she pulled down the straps to her bra and tank top, craning her neck to try and see the wound. Cooper approached her and started dabbing away the radioactive saliva. 

“You must really have a Ghoul fantasy. Where’s your radaway?”

“I’m fine,” she watched him as he worked, gritting her teeth as he dug down into the wound. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“Your shoulder’s glowing,” he leveled her a stare. 

“That’s dramatic.”

“You some kind of synth or something?”

“A synth would handle heat a bit better than I do.” She scoffed.

She had a point. She was in rough shape in the desert. Doubtful it was an act. He doubted he would really care if she was at this point.

He studied the wound. It was angry . The edges were already red and hot. Muscles twitched erratically. Bite was real close to hitting a major artery. Bad place for a wound like this. Infection here could spread fast. Had to hurt like a bitch. 

“Should get you to a doctor before you start getting sick.”

“No doctors,” she snapped.

“Honey,” his head cocked as he gave her a slanted smile, “you ain’t really selling the whole ‘not a synth’ thing.”

She let out a sigh as she softened a bit. 

“Sorry. Just, no doctors. Don’t like ‘em.”

“Explosives, heights, and doctors?” He just couldn’t resist needling her.

She leveled him a stare of her own.

“Fine. We need to get this cleaned out better though. I can stitch it after. Overseer’s quarters had a decent looking shower. Hole up here tonight. Move out tomorrow.”

“Yes sir.” She gave him a two finger salute as she grabbed her stuff and hopped off the exam table. 

He didn’t bother hiding the fact that he was staring at her ass as she left. Her chuckle in response let him know she definitely noticed. 

Chapter Text

Kate leaned over the sink as she attempted to inspect the gash in the bathroom mirror, slowly dragging the flame of her lighter down the jagged and torn line. The lighting was shit, but she could still tell just how close she’d come to bleeding out. A large chunk was missing from her shoulder. It was a miracle he hadn’t ripped out her jugular. If it weren’t for that perfectly placed vent, she would have been dinner. Wicked fucking lucky, again. 

Storming off into that room was also wicked fucking stupid, and very unlike her. A mistake so dumb she couldn’t even consider it a rookie mistake. Clearing a room was common sense. 

Cooper affected her in a way that she lost all her damn sense. She’d been flustered. She didn't get fucking flustered. If anything, she was the one making others flustered. Instead, she’d almost gotten herself killed, got stuck in a ceiling, and had to literally drop into his incredibly strong hands. Hands that felt too fucking good sliding up the curves of her body…

The urge to flee was becoming overwhelming. It's what she did, every time things started to feel a bit too intense with him, or life in general. She left. The gash on her shoulder was more than enough evidence of why leaving now was in her best interest. Cooper was throwing her off. 

Fuck, did she want to stay though. Flirting had become such a chore out here. A tool to get her what she needed. It had completely lost the excitement. Which was a real shame because she used to love flirting. 

With him, it was thrilling. It wasn’t just his words, but the drawl of his voice. The way her name sounded on his lips. His ability to keep up so easily with her banter. It was the heated looks he gave her. The way he would study her like he was appreciating a fine painting. It felt so fucking good, and she really missed feeling good.

“Sweetheart, we’re gonna have to do something about this listening problem of yours,” Cooper drawled from where he leaned on the doorway, holding a candle. The baritone of his voice sent chills dancing up her spine. 

Fuck it.

She turned to stare him down, leaning her hip onto the sink. Arms crossed across her chest. “Oh? Whaddya have in mind, Cowboy?” She kept her voice smooth as silk.

Cooper’s eyes trailed down her body as he reached between them and placed the lit candle onto the sink. His eyes flicked back up to hers, his face so close to hers it made her blush. Suddenly he pushed off the door, brushing her shoulder as he walked past her. The shower hissed on behind her. When she turned, she found him rummaging through her bag that she’d left on the floor. 

“What the fuck?” She shot forward to take it from him but he turned his back to her. Before she could push her way around him, he dropped the bag and turned back to her, holding out her denim shirt.

“Get in the shower, Kate.” There was a glint in his eyes. A challenge. Kate wasn’t exactly known for backing down from a challenge.

She took a slow step forward, closing the space between them, looking up at him through her lashes. Her hand clasped around the collar of her shirt, just beside his. Heat simmered between them. Her fist tightened around her shirt, pulling it towards her, but he held it firm. 

“You gonna watch? Make sure I do it right,” she purred. 

His mouth popped open a bit, his tongue slid behind his teeth. She reached for the hem of her tank top, slowly pulling it up enough to expose a bit of skin as she arched a brow at him in a challenge of her own.

He let out a throaty chuckle, shaking his head as he released her shirt. He headed for the door, but paused over the threshold, turning to look at her over his shoulder.

“You have a good point-”

She cut him off with a flirty wave as she closed the door on him.

By the time Kate had finished her shower, a deep ache had settled into her shoulder. It wasn’t the worst she’d ever experienced, but it was enough to make her grit her teeth. She rummaged through her bag until she found the half spent canister of jet and brought it to her lips. The faint ringing filled her ears as she felt herself float away. 

A knock on the door snapped her back to reality. All too quickly.

“Come in.” 

“How’s it feel?” Cooper pushed the door open, holding out a bottle of whiskey to her. 

“Not great.” she winced as she took the bottle from him. “Could be worse.”

“Let’s see it.”

She unbuttoned the first few buttons on her shirt and shrugged her shoulder out of the sleeve. Denim pooled around her bicep, leaving half her chest exposed down to the slope of her breast. He cringed. Not exactly the best reaction she’d gotten to nearly taking her top off. 

A cringe mirroring his, spread across her face as she looked up at the mirror.

“Wow, the looks fucking awful,” she laughed in disbelief. It looked angry. Jagged edges curled in slightly, surrounded by red and puffy skin. Cooper felt the skin around the wound with the back of his hand. His usually warm touch felt cool against her. They exchanged worrisome glances in the mirror.

“Kate…”

“Don’t start.” She turned to face him, leaning back on the sink, arms crossed in defiance. “I’m not going to a doctor.”

He leaned into her space, resting the tips of his fingers on the sink beside her hips. Close enough for the heat of him to caress her skin. 

“What if I killed them after they fixed you up?” He tilted his head, smiling at her. She knew he’d do it if she asked. Maybe it was morbid, but it turned her on.

“Easy killa,” she slapped his chest as she pushed off the sink to walk past him, pulling her sleeve back up. “Just patch me up so I can get a stimpak into me.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he gave her a two finger salute. He took up her spot perched on the sink while she crouched down to grab her boots. Cutting her foot on debris was the last thing she needed right now. She righted them before sliding her feet in. Cool air licked the back of her thighs as she leaned back down to pick up her bag and hat. The hem of her dress inched up just below the curve of her ass. She rose up slowly, turning back to Cooper as she flipped her hat onto her head. She slung her bag over her good shoulder as his gaze crawled up her body until his heavy lidded gaze met hers. 

Cooper was one of the scariest things out here, but not with her. There was something so damn satisfying about this. The way she affected him, so unlike the way she affected others. There were layers to his desire for her. He’d completely given up trying to hide it. Fuck, if that didn’t make her feel powerful.

She allowed her hips to sway as she brushed past him, plucking the whiskey bottle from his hands. She stepped back into the bedroom, taking a long swig of whiskey as she walked.

He’d cleaned up when she was in the shower. More candles had been lit, dimly illuminating the room. Debris on the floor had been kicked into piles, making it safer to walk through. A radio played softly on the small dining table. Something soft and smooth, enough to fill the deadair of the vault. A few cans of food and water were set out. He’d even laid out somewhat clean looking blankets on the bed. What a gentleman. 

She dropped her bag on the table and pulled up a chair. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a stimpak and a cigarette, which she tucked between her lips. Before she could find her lighter, Cooper was holding out his own to her. With a flick of his wrist, the lighter sparked to life, kissing the end of her cigarette, mirroring the flame sparking to life low in her belly. 

Cooper’s jaw ticked as he tracked the smoke pouring from her lips. She leaned back in the chair, crossing her legs as she rested an arm on the table. His eyes flicked to her thigh as the hem of her shirt drifted far up. A smug smile spread across her face as he snapped his gaze away. She brought the whiskey bottle to her lips, taking another deep drink watching him as he turned to gather some supplies. Numbness started to settle into her teeth, the buzz of whiskey amplifying her confidence. 

Playing with him was a fucking treat. 

He dragged a chair up beside her and dropped his medkit onto the table. Rough material scraped against the side of her leg as he sat, pressing his knees into her thigh. The contact doing nothing to ease the need growing in her.

“Ready?” He sounded relaxed, but the tick in his jaw betrayed him. His leaned over her to grab the medkit again.

She tucked the cigarette between her lips and pulled down her sleeve, catching his attention again. He puffed out a breath at the sight of her exposed skin. A much better response than earlier. 

“I think you might need this.” She stared at him cooly as she held the whiskey. “You look a little flustered.”

He didn’t pull away as she brought the bottle to his lips. Fire burned in his eyes as he took a long swig. Whiskey dripped down his chin as she pulled the bottle away and placed it back onto the table.

“Oops,” she said innocently. She reached up and dragged her thumb over the dimpled skin of his chin, collecting the trail of whiskey. His eyes followed her thumb as she brought the pad to her lips and sucked off the moisture. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be,” Cooper huffed out a breath, staring at her in disbelief. 

He cleared his throat and straightened in his chair. Once he composed himself, he turned his attention to her shoulder. Gauze soaked in antiseptic gentle dabbed along her inflamed skin. He felt around the wound again, pushing the edges together, evaluating how he was going to fix this mess.

“You’re gonna wanna have some more of that,” he pointed to the bottle. Without hesitation she slung back a long chug. Enough to make the room start to sway gently. 

“That bad?” Her words slurred a bit. 

He didn’t bother responding. A firm hand grasped her shoulder immediately followed by a sharp searing pain. A gasp escaped her as he threaded the needle through her skin. Her fist slammed down onto the table as fire erupted across her shoulder.

“Motherfucker, I could punch you right now.” she gritted out. The crumpled cigarette fell from her grasp as she brought her first to her mouth to bite down on.

“Ain’t like I’m the ghoul who bit ya. I woulda been a whole lot more gentle if I did…” 

A laugh bubbled up through the pain, eliciting more waves of pain. 

“I’ll have to remember that for next time,” she wheezed out. 

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time Cooper finished. The effort spent focusing on her breathing, blocking out the pain, had left her completely drained. She sucked in a deep breath, holding it, as her head fell back to the wall behind her. 

He pushed off from the chair beside her. She heard his medkit hitting the table, then the sound of him hastily digging through his bag.

Physical pain was something Kate had learned to co-exist with. From a young age, she’d had to grit her teeth and bare it. Instead of comforting her, wiping away her tears, her father taught her a series of mental exercises. One’s that allowed her to push past the pain. Pain made her vulnerable. Most pain she dealt with subconsciously at this point, but this pain was not like most. This was the type of pain that required her to bring her mind to a completely different place. To focus all her energy on willing it away. Had she been alone, this type of pain would have been deadly. 

She was white knuckling the table by the time Cooper returned to her side. His hand cradled the back of her head as an inhaler pressed between her lips and the pungent taste of jet hit her tongue. She breathed deeply allowing herself to fully give in to the high. The music from the radio slowly faded from existence. The burning in her shoulder transformed to a pleasant tingling that overtook her body completely. The comforting embrace of the jet greeting her with open arms. It was like she was floating there. Just existing in nothingness.

——————-

Cooper was placing a can of mac and cheese next to her when she finally came to.

“Welcome back,” he said softly, giving her a small smile. “Doing ok?”

She flexed her shoulder a bit. Tension returned to her jaw as her breathing picked up, but she still gave him a small, unconvincing nod.

“Got a stimpak here,” he held it up for her but she made no move to take it from him. 

Poor thing looked exhausted. It had taken longer than he had hoped. The puffiness had made it difficult to approximate the skin well and he’d had to go over a few areas several times. He’d thought she was going to break the damn table with how hard she had been gripping it. Honestly, the fact that she didn’t pass out on him was impressive. 

“Want me to do it?”

“Please,” she rasped. 

It killed him having to put her through that, but he had to seal the wound before giving her a stimpak. It never would have healed correctly otherwise. Pain was just a part of life out here, and he knew she could handle that, but it didn’t make him feel any better. 

“Arm or leg?”

“If you touch my arm right now,” she side eyed him, “I will most definitely punch you in the face.” Fair enough.

“Leg it is.”

Her boot thudded to the floor as she unfolded her legs, not bothering or able to slow her legs descent. Cooper scooted his chair back to see her thigh better. She leaned her elbow back on the table and rested her head in her hand, eyes closed as she dragged the hem of her shirt up her thigh for him. He gently prodded her muscle, feeling for the right spot. She flinched a bit when he stabbed the needle through her soft skin. When the hiss of the stimpak ceased, he tossed it onto the table, bringing his palm back down to her thigh, attempting to chase away the pain with his warmth. Massaging gentle circles into her flesh until her breathing slowed and tension in her face eased. 

She peeked at him from where her head was buried in her hand, giving him a small smile. One that had warmth blooming in his chest. Strange that such a small smile could have such an intense effect on him. There was something oddly intimate about watching someone, and helping someone, deal with that much pain. It left them completely vulnerable. Kate had never allowed herself to be this vulnerable around him. It had been a real long time since anyone would have allowed him to help them in this way. He'd gotten too used to destroying things, enjoyed it far too much. He just wanted to make her better. As the weight of that hit him, he gave her his own small, vulnerable smile in return.

She sat up stragihter, gently rolling her head side to side. As she straightened in her chair, she tucked her ankle under her thigh. Her hands grasped the hem of her shirt, tucking it between her thighs. He looked away as the back of her shirt shifted up a bit, exposing the curve of her ass. 

A moment later, something firm tapped his shoulder. He turned back to find she was holding out a can of cram to him.

“Better?” He asked as he took the can from her.

“Much. That fucking sucked,” she huffed out a small laugh before taking a bite of her mac and cheese. “Sorry for threatening to punch you.”

“Ain’t the first time, won’t be the last,”Cooper chuckled as he eased a bit in his chair. She’d threatened him plenty of times, it didn’t bother him.

Half way through her meal, she was looking like herself again. Her foot bounced to the rhythm of the music as she hummed. She was able to move her arm more freely, seemingly unable to feel any lingering pain. 

“Looks much better,” he reassuerd her as he brushed the back of his hand around the wound. She jolted under his touch. Her skin was finally cool compared to his. The edges had started to scar over with jagged, raised skin. Redness had dissipated to a light pink. “Feels better too. Gonna have a decent scar there though.”

She shrugged her shoulders, feigning indifference, but he could tell it bothered her. 

“Just adding to my collection,” there was a lilt to her tone as she threw him a wink. Playing up the role she knew so well. She quickly changed the subject. “Look what I found.” she pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her bag between bites. Smoothing it over her thigh before holding it up to him.

His brows pinched as he reached into his pocket, pulling out the map Leroy had given her, nearly identical to the paper she held. Motherfucker had left out a couple details when he gave her the job. Seems like she wasn’t the first person he’d sent into there. And he’d wager the grimey bastard knew exactly what she was going to be up against. “What’re you gonna do about it?” 

“I don’t want to burn that bridge,” she sighed, shaking her head.

There were few things Kate had ever said that made him mad, but this had him seeing red. He stood up before her, setting his can down onto the table a bit too aggressively.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” he bit out.

That had her sitting up a bit straighter in her chair, posturing for a fight.

“Leroy helped me build my reputation, I can’t forget that.”

“He didn’t do shit except almost get you killed,” his voice rose. That thought had him picturing ripping the man’s entrails out and stringing him up with them. “Fucker gave you some jobs, you’re the one who earned your name. Don’t give him any credit for the person you’ve become. You fought tooth and fucking nail to get to where you are right now.”

She blinked at him.

“You don’t see it do you?” His brows raised in disbelief as he shook his head. How could she be this fucking blind? 

“I need these connections. I don’t have the luxury of relying on strength out here. I’m not exactly physically intimidating.” She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest and scowling up at him. She looked plenty fucking intimidating. 

“Honey, you don’t need anyone, they fucking need you.” His hands fell to his hips. “That bastard wouldn’t have jack shit right now if you didn’t come in here and get it for him. Clearly, no one else could get the job done.”

“Do you forget the whole part where I almost got eaten? Shit, I wouldn’t have even gotten that hall cleared if you weren’t here.” 

“If I weren’t here, you woulda figured it out.” He imagined she likely would have made it out unscathed had he not been pestering her. If she’d been thinking clearly, she could have done this on her own. But it would have still been risky. Too fucking risky to be sent in alone, without a full idea of what she was walking into. 

“And don’t sell me that damsel in distress bullshit. You are plenty fucking intimidating. I’ve watched you silence a packed bar by cuttin’ outta man's tongue and feeding it back to him.” It was impressive. She’d only been chasing bounty for a few months. Had started attracting lots of attention. Fucker made the mistake of insinuating he’d fucked her. That was the last time anyone made that mistake. “You had security running for the damn door while men, and women, bought you drinks all night.”

“Because they wanted to fuck me,” she scoffed.

“Because they fear you,” he shouted. People would fuck anything out here. Yes, she was beautiful, but that wasn’t it. She knew how to play the game. It was the swagger in her step, her words, her tenacity. She could command a fucking room. The fact that she was selling herself so damn short was infuriating. “You know they still talk about you out West? Gone six goddamn months, and they can’t keep your name out of their mouths. And they ain’t talking ‘bout that pretty face of yours. No, they talk about the times you knocked each of them down a fucking peg. They talk about how fucking glad they are to not have the threat of you looming over them.”

He dragged a hand over his face as he turned away from her. He knew he was out of line. It wasn’t that he was mad at her, but he was frustrated with her utter lack of self confidence. When he turned back to find her looking down at her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt. 

He crouched down before her to look her in the eye. She turned her head from him, but he grasped her cheek, forcing her to look at him. 

“Weren’t you just threatening to punch me in the face twenty minutes ago? Where’d that woman go?” That got her. She tried, and failed, to bite back a smile as she looked at him through her lashes. 

She rolled her eyes as she pushed out of his hold, but she held his stare.

“Kate, they fear you. That’s power.” He softened a bit, hands resting on the seat of her chair. The back of his thumb brushed her thigh. “You got the type of power that you don’t gotta worry about maintainin’ a goddamn bridge. You get mad, and you take whatever the fuck you want.” 

She huffed out a sigh.  

“I’ll weigh my options.” Stubborn as ever. She leaned back, draping an elbow on the seat back behind her. She gave him a dismissive wave.  “Now, go shower.” 

The movement caused her body to shift slightly, pressing her supple thigh against his thumb. Suddenly, he realized how close he was to her, and how unbothered she seemed by it. Her eyes trailed down to his hands, a faint blush coming to her cheeks, seemingly having the same realization as him. He chanced a glance down to her thighs. Her foot was still tucked under her leg. Her hand still pushed the hem of her shirt down between her legs, but the sides of her shirt had ridden far up her bare thigh. Far enough to see where her panties normally hit. 

“I have a question, and feel free to punch me for it. Did you put your panties on?”

“Oh,” she chuckled sinfully, his eyes widened as he looked back up to her heavy lidded eyes, “you didn’t give me any. And I wanted to show you I can listen,” she purred and gave him a sultry smile, “when I want to.”

His jaw dropped open, as he shifted his gaze between her face and her legs. The flame that had been extinguished by her pain roared back to life. His hands went to grip her thighs, but she grasped his wrists. Halting his movement just before he could touch her.

The look she held was full of confidence, she knew she was in control and he had no problem giving her the reins here. She looked so fucking hot holding them anyways. 

“Go shower, Coop.”

He practically sprinted to the bathroom. 

_______________

Kate studied the identical maps while she waited for Cooper to finish showering. 

Fucking Leroy. There was no way he didn’t know what was down there. “Some of them got a real nasty bite.” What a fucking asshole. 

Cooper was right, she didn’t have to take this shit, but he was overselling her a bit. Yes, she had some power out here. She was good at what she did and a lot of her reputation was to her own credit, but he couldn’t understand how hard it usually was for her. Traveling with Cooper afforded her a level of protection, but she wasn’t going to have that forever. This job would wrap up and she would be on her own again. Losing a resource like Leroy was going to be an issue for her down the line. She had to play this right.

But also, fuck that guy. 

The door creaked open behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see Cooper walking over to her. Shirtless, wearing only his sweats. The water droplets on his chest glistening in the candlelight. 

Jesus Fucking Christ. 

“Can see those wheels turnin’. Whatcha up to now?” He swiped a towel across his chest, wicking away the water droplets as he approached her side. Looking at the maps over her shoulder.

“Gettin’ mad,” she lilted. 

“Shit honey, maybe you can listen,” he grinned, eyes drifting down the curves of her body.

“Like I said,” she kept her voice low. She dropped the maps onto the table as she turned to face him. The backs of her thighs pressed into the table as she leaned back on her hands, looking up at him through her lashes. “When I want to.”

Cooper stepped in close to her, bracketing her with his arms, fingers splayed out on the table beside her hips. So fucking close to where she really wanted his touch. They held each other's stare for a moment, two dominant forces waiting to see who would break first. It was him who broke first, of course. His hand drifted up to her shoulder, pulling her sleeve down again. His eyes trailed over the wound, then lower. A thrill ran through her chest as he rested his hand across her collar bone.

“It's better, but you’re gonna have to take it easy with this shoulder tonight,” he murmured and a pang of disappointment ran through her. A rough thumb dragged along the line of her collar bone, quickening her pulse. His eyes met hers. “If I tell you to let me do all the work, you gonna listen?”

Heat pooled low in the belly as a sultry smile pulled at her lips.

“Yes, sir,” she nodded.

His hand slid up her throat moving to her cheek as he leaned into her closer. The other slid to her thigh. The calluses of his hands scraped deliciously against her forming goosebumps along her flesh. He breached the hem of her shirt, wrapping his hand around her exposed hip. A thumb brushed over the sensitive skin on the front of her hip, sending sparks skittering down to her core. 

“You strain that shoulder, I stop,” he whispered. The gravel of his voice stole her breath away.

She nodded as her eyes drifted to his lips.

“Answer me, Kate.”

Her eyes shot back to his. “Yes, sir.”

He closed the gap between them, pulling her into a passionate kiss. Taut lips molded to hers with years of built up tension. There was nothing slow of cautious about it, just pure hunger. Her lips parted for him as he tilted her chin, deepening their kiss. The taste of him was divine. Like whiskey, cigarettes and something entirely him.

All too quickly, his hands were gone. She whimpered, missing the feel of him. He chuckled as his mouth dropped to her neck, peppering her skin with kisses while his hands worked at the buttons of her shirt. Her arms raised to wrap around his neck, before she caught herself, dropping her bad arm back down to her side. Her other hand slid over the muscles and tendons of his neck, resting on the back of his head, keeping him close. Her fingers traced the divots and ridges in his skin, desperate for contact. 

Her hand dropped back to the table as he pulled back. Rough hands pushed back her sleeves until they rested around her wrists. His eyes trailed over her exposed body, mouth parted, pausing at her breasts before continuing their journey down to her center. He lifted a hand to rest on her hip as if studying the way his skin looked pressed against hers. Contrasting so perfectly. 

“You are so goddamn beautiful,” he rasped out. It had been years since she’d been called beautiful. She’d been complimented on her appearance plenty of times, but all those compliments felt slimy. People didn’t appreciate the true beauty in anything out here. 

Her eyes set on their own journey down his body, following the path of her fingers, exploring him. The need for him intensified as they trailed down the nearly exposed muscles of his torso. Muscle that twitched and jumped under her fingers. Reddened skin stretched tight, disappearing below the waistband, hung low on his hips. Her hand slid down, cupping his length where it strained through his pants. His cock twitched in her hand. She wanted more. Now.

“Cooper,” her voice was breathy, desperate, as their eyes met again, “I need you.”

Hungry hands gripped her ass again as he pulled her up into his hold, their lips colliding again. She let her shirt fall from her wrists, bringing an arm up to wrap around his neck, clinging to him. Her breasts pressed into his chest, peaked nipples stiffening further against his warm skin. She wrapped her ankles around him, bringing her heat to press against his abdomen. A gasp escaped her.

“You’re soaked,” he growled into her neck as his hands wrapped around her ankles, removing her boots, letting them thud to the floor. Her hips rocked against him, desperate for friction.

Her legs wrapped around his back, ankles locked, as he brought her to the bed. Everything slowed as he pulled back from their kiss. He laid her down, fanning her half dried curls out on the bed. He stood back, refusing to look away from her while he undressed. She was practically salivating at the sight of his length springing for his pants.

“You’re gonna need to get me ready for that,” She raised a brow at him as his body came down over her again.

“Oh, I planned on it sweetheart. I’m taking my time with you.” 

With that his lips descended to her neck once more. Biting, gentle as promised, and kissing his way down to her chest. A hand moved up her waist, cupping her breast and bringing it to his lips. She let out a deep moan as his tongue swirled over the tight bud. A gasp as he bit down gently, teeth scraping sending a jolt through her. 

She arched into him as he moved to her other breast, a hand trailing down her side. Fingers traced the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh, stopping just before they reached her center. Teasing her, bringing her need to a level she didn’t know existed.

“Please,” she breathed out. He chuckled in return.

A moment later he showed mercy, sliding two fingers down her slit and back up. Fingers ran along either edge of her throbbing clit. The contact almost too much on her sensitive flesh, but her hips pushed into his hand, begging for more. A desperate hand came down onto his back, clawing up to his shoulder. She let out a whine as he pulled back completely from her. He kneeled there, staring down at her with a stern look on his face. Staring at her injured shoulder. Wrong fucking hand.

“No,” she whined, knowing she was in trouble. He had her so worked up, she wasn’t beyond begging. “I’ll be good, I swear.”

“You fucking better be,” He chuckled. His hands went to rest on her knees, pushing them up as he stared down at her. “Look at how fucking wet you are. Ain’t you a needy thing. Beg a little more for me sweetheart.”

“Please,” she cried shamelessly, “Cooper, I can’t take it. Fuck me. Please.”

“We’ll get there. You tell me to stop if that shoulder starts hurtin’.”

She nodded feverishly. 

Before she could even register his movement, his tongue ran straight up her center, flattening around her clit. She gasped, turning into a ragged moan as he lapped at her. Her thighs closed on their own accord around his head, but his hands halted them, pushing her wide again. Fingers trailed down the inside of her thigh, sending tiny shockwaves through her skin.  Pressure began building low. Cooper ate her like a goddamn meal. 

A finger teased around her entrance, before slowly pushing in, walls clenching around him. 

“Yes,” she breathed out as he crooked a finger inside her, pumping slowly. The pace of his finger and tongue synced, sending flutters through her. A second finger had her reciting his name like a fucking prayer.

“Cooper, Cooper, Cooper.” 

She reached the edge of the cliff, about to fall over, but her breathing hitched, stalling her plummet.

“Breathe, Kate.” Her name on his lips sent her fucking flying over the edge. Waves of pleasure came crashing over her. Over and over and over again. Her toes curled as she fisted the sheets, stitches pulled taut in her shoulder before she felt a pop . Cooper seemed completely unaware, thank God. She’d let him fix it later. 

“Fuck you taste so fucking good,” he breathed against her. His fingers kept a brutal pace on her through her orgasm, wringing out every last bit of pleasure. A strangled sob escaped her. The sound of her on his fingers was fucking sinful. “Think you might be my new favorite snack.”

She really hoped that was true. 

His body shifted up hers, he moved in to kiss her again, but halted. Tilting her head to the side gently.

Shit.

“It doesn’t hurt, I swear,” Kate whimpered, still breathless.

“Didn’t I fucking tell you-”

“You told me to tell you if it hurt. Doesn’t hurt,” she laughed, knowing she had him caught there.

“You’re fuckin’ trouble,” he shook his head and chuckled, smiling down at her.

She smiled back smugly, owning it, as she nodded proudly. He tilted her chin, bringing their lips together once more. He pushed his hips into her as the smugness faded away, morphing back into a deep need for him. The length of him slid against her, the ridges grazing over her sensitive clit causing her to twitch. He broke their kiss as he notched himself at her entrance, watching her as he slowly pushed in. 

“Ah,” she hissed out. Tears pricked her eyes as she stretched painfully around him. It had been years since she’d been with a man. Months since she’d even cared enough to take care of herself. 

“I’ll go slow,” his forehead pressed against hers as he waited for her to adjust to him. Seemingly so in tune to her needs. He tested the waters, pushing in slowly to the hilt. Her pained gasp caused him to slow as he pulled out to the tip.

He was so gentle with her, a stark contrast to the man the rest of the world saw. His hand came up to hold her face, a thumb gently caressing her cheek. Lidded eyes searched her face as he slowly pushed back in, before slowly pulling out. He kept this pace, watching her intently as her tension eased. 

“I need to lift you up, you’ll pop a stitch like this,” he whispered to her, looking for her permission. 

She wrapped her arm around his neck as she nodded. His hands slid to her sides, wrapping around her back and pulling her chest to him as he sat up on his knees. Her other hand shot to his hip as she sunk down onto him, taking him impossibly deeper. Her forehead fell to his shoulder as she moaned, clinging to him tighter. 

“Come here,” he gripped her chin, bringing her mouth to his again. He kissed her unlike she’d ever been kissed before. Slow and languid. Burning with passion, but also gentle with care and concern. Soothing her, helping her relax onto him.

He gripped her ass, slowly dragging her up and down his shaft, letting out a moan of his own. Pain faded to pleasure as his cock rubbed that perfect spot. He picked up the pace, thrusting up into her. With each roll of their hips, pressure rose inside her again. It was fucking ecstasy. She threw her head back as she cried out. His hand gripped the back of her head bringing her back to his shoulder, the heat of his mouth returning to her neck.

“Easy,” He growled into her neck in between kisses. 

This close, her clit rubbed against him as he rolled her hips. Giving her the friction she desperately needed. She was barreling back towards the cliff edge as his movements started to stutter.

“Don’t stop,” she cried out, so fucking close.

His teeth sank into her neck as he worked to maintain his pace, groaning with determination. She’d give it to him, the man could fucking listen.

“Oh fuck, yes,” she shuddered out as he brought her falling over the edge. Her orgasm even more intense than the last. Ringing filled her ears as her walls squeezed him tighter, causing him to twitch inside her.

He pulled her up, off him, allowing her to sink back down onto his thighs. Releasing between their bodies. His arms wrapped around her body, holding her to him, as they came down the other end of their pleasure. 

All she could do was cling to him. Every nerve ending in her body felt alight, tingling from the intensity of her orgasms. Her body went lax on him, completely spent. 

Cooper guided her back down to the bed, lying her down. Her eyes fluttered shut as he left her, moving about the room. He returned to her with a cigarette tucked between his lips, a towel in his hand. He passed her the cigarette as he dragged the towel across her stomach, wiping his release from her before settling onto his side beside her. 

“How’s it feel?” He rubbed her shoulder gently as he looked it over. 

“Can’t even feel it,” she breathed out with a cloud of cigarette smoke. He didn’t look convinced, “I promise.”

“Mhm. Don’t gotta replace that stitch you popped-”

“I blame you for that one, that damn tongue of yours. And those fingers…” she said sleepily as she passed back the cigarette. She rolled, pushing her chest into him. Her body reacting to those sinful thoughts despite her exhaustion.

He pulled her into an embrace, as she buried her face into him, pressing kisses into his chest.

“Don’t make me flip you over-”

“But that sounds so fun,” her teeth nipped at his pec, pulling a tortured groan from him.

“Later. You need your rest. Still not outta the woods. Don’t want that infection coming back.” 

“Since when did The Ghoul get so damn considerate,” she sighed out.

He didn’t respond, instead pressing a kiss to her head. “Goodnight.”

She faded from the waking world before she could respond.

Chapter Text

A chill ran through Kate as she blinked blearily, disoriented by the darkened room, the candles nearly burnt out. She pushed off the mattress, but was sent back by throbbing in her head. The heels of her hands pressed into her eyes as she swallowed thickly, her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth.

She rolled, her hand thunking on the bedside table as she felt around blindly for anything to quench her thirst. Junk clattered to the ground and glass shattered, the sounds pounding against her skull.

“God dammit,” she groused, flopping back into the mattress. The woosh of the door sliding open sent her shooting back up, clutching the blanket to her chest. Her eyes darted around the room now dimly lit by the fluorescent lighting from the hall. Where the fuck was her gun?

“Morning sunshine,” Cooper’s voice echoed from the hall, easing her nerves. His dark silhouette filled the doorway as he stepped through. He’d somehow managed to dress without her waking, forgoing his jacket and vest. She released the blanket, reaching up with both hands to block the light assaulting her vision. “You look rough.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard a ruder comment with my tits out,” Kate grumbled. 

“Those look great,” Cooper chuckled as he came up to the bedside, handing her a can of water, “too much whiskey or not enough jet?”

“Both,” she groaned. Stale, metallic water coated her tongue as she tipped the can back leaving a sickly feeling in her stomach. Growing up in a settlement known for purifying water, she’d become somewhat of a water snob. An unfortunate trait to have considering decent water in these parts was hard to come by. Natural sources of water were few and far between out here, and a good purifier was even harder to find. She’d kill for a good, clean, cold glass of water. Chilled by the Atlantic just steps from her former front door. But despite the water's stale taste, it was a welcome relief to her parched mouth.

Cooper sat beside her, handing her some jet. She reached for it, but he pulled it back before she could take it. Her brow furrowed in irritation. 

“Don’t do too much, we gotta move. Suns up and it's a hot one.” 

“It’s always a hot one,” she mumbled before begrudgingly taking a small hit. Just enough to ease the pounding in her head. With her headache fading, she realized she felt pretty good overall. No longer weighed down with fatigue that usually plagued her. It had been the first time in a while that she’d gotten some solid sleep. No nightmares. In fact, she didn’t dream at all. 

The muscles in her neck flexed as she rolled her head in an attempt to stretch, nearly forgetting her injury. Her movements faltered as the stitches in her neck and shoulder pulled taut. She reached up, fingers brushing across the jagged lines of a freshly formed scar. There was no pain at her touch, just a numbness from the damaged nerves. 

“Shoulder healed up quick,” Cooper remarked as he unsheathed his knife. The blade glinted in the light, sharpened expertly to a lethal point. 

“Stimpak’ll do that,” she replied dismissively, wrapping her arms around her knees as they came up to her chest. 

“Right,” he said flatly, unconvinced as he gripped her shoulder, massaging the muscle lightly, “feel good enough to go do a shakedown?” 

Ugh. Fucking Leroy. It had been so nice not having to think about that scumbag. Looking back, she’d let him take advantage of her for years. The supplies and gear he had supplied her weren’t nearly enough for her work. Maybe when she first started out, but not in recent years. She’d let her soft spot for him cloud her judgment and she couldn’t allow that to continue. But fuck, she didn’t feel like dealing with him right now.

The tip of Cooper’s knife slid under a stitch that popped with a slight turn of his blade. It’d be so easy for him to knick her. One wrong move, a twitch of her shoulder and he’d draw blood. For some reason that thought had heat pooling low in her belly. 

As much as she was itching for retribution, a part of her wanted to stay here, with Cooper. Being able to have a little fun, give into her desires was something she’d needed for a while now. And a reprieve like this was few and far between. This life wasn’t peaceful, but this was. Being with him was comfortable. She could unwind around him, not feel like she had to watch her back at all times. Sure, the metal tomb they were in was a bit creepy, but the accommodations were better than anything they were going to find on the surface. While they couldn’t stay here for long, she knew she could buy some time. 

“Might be best to work the shoulder a bit. Ya know, test it out. Would hate for it to give me grief as I’m beating the man’s head in,” she said innocently, her fingers drawing circles into the fabric of his pants as he worked at pulling the popped stitches. 

“Good thinkin’,” his head tipped down to look at her, a sly smile playing on his face, “best to be prepared. Be more than happy to lend my services if you need it,” he offered suggestively, his breath coasting across her skin, sending chills across her shoulder. With the last of the stitches pulled, he sheathed his blade, but made no move to back away from her. Instead, his hand resumed gently massaging her shoulder.

“In fact, I do,” she smiled at him, leaning into him more. His hand stilled as she grabbed his wrist, her brow furrowing in seriousness, “but since we’re short on time, we’re gonna have to multitask.”

Before he could respond, she had pulled herself up into his lap. Her hands working at the buttons of his shirt. 

“I’m pretty good at multitasking,” he reassured her. Lust filled his gaze as his eyes trailed down her body, breathing in sharply through gritted teeth. His hand drifted to her waist as he appreciated her form. Her skin prickled under his stare. The way his eyes drank her in made her feel as if she was being worshiped. And that drove her a bit feral. 

“Oh, I know you are,” she cooed as she leaned into him, pushing his shirt off his shoulders, as he nipped at her neck, “showed me as much last night with those fingers and that tongue of yours.”

When she had his shirt off, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her, kissing him hungrily. Warmth bloomed across her chest as her breasts pushed into his scorching skin. Rough hands roamed across the plain of her back, setting her skin ablaze. Even though their bodies were pressed against one another, she needed more. The hard length of him strained against the fabric of his pants as she rolled her hips, relishing the friction against her already aching core. 

“Shower. Now,” she commanded between frantic kisses. 

“Fuck you’re bossy,” he groaned as her mouth moved to explore the line of his jaw, teeth nipping their way up to his earlobe. His hands bit into her flesh as he stood up, keeping her tight to his body, her legs wrapping around him.

“Better get used to it. If 34 years in this hellscape hasn’t beaten it outta me, nothing will,” she quipped. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he murmured as he kicked the bathroom door shut behind them.

——————

Despite their best intentions, it had taken them a bit too long to make their way out of the vault. That damn shoulder of hers just needed a thorough trial run. Had to be sure it could handle some stress. But it held up to every test Cooper had thrown at her. She’d had no issues gripping the wall as he bent her over. Or clinging to his shoulders, using him as leverage as she bounced on him. Even tolerated a few of his bites to her scarred flesh, although he had been far gentler than the last ghoul to bite her there. She’d passed every test with flying colors.

When they ran out of excuses to keep them there, he had to admit he just couldn’t get enough of her. Of how her body melted under his touch. How she gripped him tightly just as she reached her peak. Or her pretty cries of pleasure when she fell into bliss. Cries she’d unfortunately have to get under control when they were in the open. They stayed in that shower until her fingers had started to prune before finally relenting. 

A touch of sadness came over him as their footsteps echoed along the eerie halls of the vault. As much as he hated these places, this one wasn’t so bad. Simply for the fact that he’d spent his time here with her. Exploring her. Learning her body. Being with her. While he had full intentions of indulging in her as long as she’d allow it, he doubted they’d get a chance to act so freely again. Who knew what was awaiting them outside those doors. 

She gave him a small smile as they stood before the vault door.

“Back to reality,” she sighed as she pulled her bandana up. 

Reality. Something so grim compared to their stolen hours of peace. 

A wave of heat rushed over them as the vault door clanked open. Reality, greeting them with a scorching smack to the face. His eyes struggled to adjust to the sun’s violent rays as it hung high in the sky. Nearly noon. The walk wasn’t overly long, but Kate would struggle, needlessly, under the full strength of the sun. 

“Timed that one wrong,” Cooper said tightly.

Kate tucked the brim of her hat down to cover her eyes as she stepped out before him. 

“Worth it,” She called back to Cooper as she stepped out into the desert. 

He couldn’t disagree.

She’d spent most of their trek back to the shop stewing silently, jaw clenched. But from time to time she’d go on a tangent about Leroy. Mostly random bits of whatever conversation she was having with herself. “That no good dirty motherfucker,” or “Who the fuck does he think he is” or his personal favorite “Does he not know who he’s fucking with?”

Despite the sweat pouring off her, she didn’t complain once about the heat. Hadn’t even stopped walking. And she’d kept an impressive pace the entire way. 

That pace picked up when they saw the shop in the distance, distorted by the heat waves, the evening sun disappearing behind it. Rarely did Cooper have to work to keep up with smooth skins, but at the clip she was going he was trailing her. He’d considered leaving her to handle this herself, but at this point he didn’t trust her not to kill the guy. And, as much as that man deserved it, that would create far more trouble than what they needed.

He’d nearly slammed into her as she skidded to a stop just outside the shop. Her chest heaved from the exertion, as she lowered her bandana, her head held tall. Not allowing the fatigue she had to be feeling show. Her hands clenched at her side. She was awash in the orange light of the setting sun as a breeze kicked up dust around her, pulling a strand of hair out from behind her ear. She stood there long enough that Cooper had started to wonder if she was having second thoughts.

“You good Sweetheart,” he asked, stepping up beside her.

When she looked up at him, he saw no fear, no hesitation. Her cheeks were flushed, sweat glittering across her skin in the evening sun, but no tension marred her features. Just cold, hard determination. 

“Let’s make that motherfucker squirm,” she drawled huskily, her commonwealth accent thick. 

Cooper gave her a devious smile in return. He had a feeling he was going to enjoy this, quite a bit. 

The old wooden steps creaked under her boots as she approached the door. Her movements were so smooth and controlled it would have made the hair stand up on the back of his neck if he had any left. She swung the canister over her shoulders as she pushed through the door, halting in the center of the shop. Two security guards stood on either side of the door, perking up a bit at her abrupt presence. 

A hodgepodge of weapons, ammo, and random junk lined the walls and shelves around the shop. Mismatched lighting was scattered about, catching dust in their glow as it trickled from the rafters. Holes in the walls were patched with various signs and old world memorabilia. Less for esthetics and more as a convenient fix.

A pudgy greaseball of a man fiddled away with a laser rifle at the counter. Magnifying glasses perched on his nose made his beady eyes look comically large. Black grease was smeared across his face, his beard slick with it. The man looked like he hadn’t seen a day of exercise in his life, or a bar of soap. Exactly the type of slob Cooper had pictured Leroy to be.

Leroy looked up over his glasses to find Kate standing before him. His mouth popped open, the toothpick he was chewing on dropping to the countertop. He yelped as an electrical arc from the rifle zapped him, the weapon clambering to the counter.

“Holy shit, Kate,” he gasped.

“What an odd way to greet me,” she mused, holding the canister in her hands before her, her head tilting “as if you weren’t expecting me.”

“Not this soon,” he let out a shaky breath. His eyes shot to Cooper over her shoulder, “who the fuck is this guy? Git! Ghouls ain’t welcome here.”

“ The Ghoul,” she corrected. “And this man is the least of your worries,” she chuckled, turning the canister in her hands, as if inspecting it. “Cleared the vault. Funny though, those raiders didn’t seem to have that bite you’d warned me about.”

“Well that's good-”

“But the EEP and glowing one behind the cement wall sure did,” she deadpanned, tossing the canister back and forth between her hands. Leroy’s eyes followed its path through the air.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about Kate,” he kept his tone even, “can you stop doing that?”

“You gonna stop lying?” she held the canister there for a minute.

“I’m not lying.”

Her head nodded, ominously, as she sucked on her teeth, her gaze fixed on the canister. Suddenly, she wrenched the lid off the canister and held it out beside her. A green glow washed over the room. The guards behind them gagged as they went to draw their guns, but halted at Kate’s voice.

“I wouldn’t do that. That is, unless you want me to add a few more ghouls to the mix here,” she lilted, leaning on one leg, cooly, not bothering to look at the pair. Instead her gaze remained locked on Leroy. 

Cooper shot the men a glare piercing enough for the both of them, his own gun already drawn, pointed in their direction. He’d have them both down before they even wrapped their hands around the grips and they knew it. They shrank back into the wall, attempting to push away from the sickening waves of radiation, not bothering to waste the effort squaring off with him.

That was the difference between predators and prey. Prey shied away from the discomfort, predators threw themselves straight into it. 

Kate dug into her pocket, pulling out one of Leroy’s maps, holding it out for him to see.

“What’s this Leroy?”

“The map I gave you,” he replied, a bit too condescendingly for Cooper’s liking. 

“No, you fucking idiot,” Kate bit out. Atta girl. She pointed to Cooper who had pulled out the map's twin, “that’s my map. This map,” she shook the map in her hand, “was found behind a cement wall that was definitely an aftermarket addition. Found in the same room I was nearly served as dinner in.”

It was a completely inappropriate time for Cooper to point out that she was actually served as dinner in the overseer’s quarters, but he definitely thought it. He quickly banished that thought, unable to be distracted by that glorious mental image. 

Leroy’s eyes shifted between the two maps.

“Seems to me like whoever you sent in last found what was hiding down there. The vault was pretty picked over. Not just from raiders, but from someone stripping it for supplies. I’m guessing you had that hall closed off until you could get every ounce of material you could from that place.”

He didn’t respond.

“Why not tell me?” Her head tilted. 

“Peaches-”

“I swear to fucking god you call me that one more time, it’ll be the last thing you say. Put some fucking respect on my name,” she said firmly. The corner of Cooper’s mouth tipped up slightly.

“Kate,” he corrected himself, “if I told you, you wouldn’t have taken the job. Honestly, I knew you could do it. There isn’t anyone better for the job. You’ve come a long way kid.”

“Well Leroy,” she drawled, swirling the canister at her side, “you got that right, but I sure hope you don’t think I’m fucking stupid enough to fall for your pandering. You needed someone to clear that vault and you didn’t care if I made it out alive. If I didn’t get the job done, I’m sure some other sucker woulda come along. And you’d keep sending people in until you got what you wanted.”

“That’s not-”

“Save it,” she cut him off with a wave, “I’ll tell you how this is gonna go. You’re gonna restock our ammo and supplies. Give me that info you promised. Oh, and I want caps. Everything you got.”

“You’re robbing me now?”

Whatever Leroy saw in Kate’s eyes had him shrinking down towards the counter, cowering. 

“You done insulting me? The only thief here is you Leroy. You owe me years of work. Now get us our fucking payment,” she commanded, like a goddamn queen, pointing her finger at him harshly.

“I ain’t paying some ghoul.” The man was either real fucking brave or real fucking stupid. Cooper figured it was likely the latter.

“The fuck you ain’t,” she shook the cannister, letting a glob of radioactive sludge fall to the floor.

“Okay, okay. Give me a minute.”

Leroy ambled around the shop, collecting ammo boxes as Kate ordered him around, piling them up onto the counter until she was satisfied. As Cooper loaded the supplies into their bags, Leroy pulled a paper out from his pocket, holding it out for Kate. She turned to Cooper, giving him a small smile as she motioned for him to take it from Leroy.

Leroy cringed as he handed over the paper, eyes shifting between the two of them.

“Better lose that attitude real quick,” she warned, brows raised, “You think I’m scary? This mans a fucking nightmare when he’s offended.”

She wasn’t wrong. 

Cooper looked over the paper. Another fucking map, the word “pancakes” scrawled on the bottom. 

“You sending us on some goddamn scavenger hunt here?” He scowled at Leroy. “To the fucking plains,” he scoffed, turning the the paper to Kate. Her jaw ticked as she looked over the paper, her mouth set in a tight line. A crease formed between her brows, her patience clearly running thin.

“Where the fuck you sending us Leroy?” 

“I’m sending you to my contact. Don’t show up with him, that’ll get you killed.”

“Gotta be honest here Leroy, I’m finding it wicked hard to believe you have my best interest in mind right now. Where are we going?”

“I don’t know, they don’t pay me to do anything but send them buyers.” 

Silence filled the room as Kate stared down Leroy. The security guards didn’t dare breathe as they waited for whatever was coming next. Sweat beaded on Leroy’s forehead, his eyes gone wide, as if he was too afraid to blink and risk taking his eyes off her for even a second. Without warning, she shot forward, sending him shrinking back further behind the counter.

“Please-”

Her hand wrapped around his grease stained shirt, hefting him back up to the counter, the fabric tearing a bit. Cooper’s eyes flickered to her shoulder, but she showed no signs of pain. She leaned in, nearly nose to nose with him as the color drained from his face. Cooper found himself wishing he wasn’t standing behind her, which was a view he usually enjoyed so much. What Cooper wouldn’t have given to see that beautifully murderous glare he knew she was giving Leroy. The man’s eyes darted across her face, taking in the full intensity of her gaze, gaping like a fish.

“I swear Kate. I don’t know anything else,” he whispered shakily. 

“You fuck me over on this Leroy, I’ll kill you. And it won’t be quick,” her voice was soft, smooth, but no less intimidating. 

He nodded nervously, his hands raised over his head. Kate stepped back, placing the open canister on the floor in the middle of the room. Standing to her full height, she clasped her hands before her, an unsettlingly pleasant smile on her face. 

“Well, that’s about all I can stand of you three fuckers,” she said nonchalantly, before turning to the two men cowering next to the door. They flinched as she unholstered her gun, heading straight for them, pressing the barrel into the belly of the one to the left. She patted him down, pocketing whatever weapons she found off of him. Cooper followed suit with the other guard. 

“Don’t need you getting any stupid ideas,” she said, his throat bobbing as she shook the gun in his face. He relaxed a bit as she tucked it into her own waistband, but went ramrod straight as she slapped him across the face lightly. Now she was just taunting them for the fun of it.  

“Don’t forget Leroy,” she called over her shoulder as she walked out the door, her voice sweet as apple pie, “you ever see my face again, it means you’re about to die.”

Cooper hung back a moment, appreciating her as she drifted off into the night, like the siren she was. She paused at the bottom of the steps, turning back to Cooper, tilting her head.

“You coming cowboy?” Her voice was as smooth as silk as she quirked a brow at him, biting back a smile.

He looked around the room at the three men, still shaking in their boots, savoring the sense of trepidation that filled the room. 

“Y’all have a nice night now,” he drawled, raising his brows at the men and giving them a shit eating grin, before following Kate off into the desert. 

When they’d gotten out of earshot of the men, Cooper leaned into her, their shoulders brushing.

“Gotta say, something about you being so menacing that gets me hot under the collar,” he muttered into her ear.

She chuckled, slapping him in the chest playfully. 

“He’s definitely hiding something,” she sighed, “I don’t know if this is worth it Cooper. We don’t even know if this is the guy we’re looking for.”

“Let’s map it out before we call it quits,” Cooper reassured her, a pang running through his chest. In truth, he didn’t want to call it quits just yet. Calling it quits likely meant they’d go their separate ways. And that wasn’t something he was ready for just yet. 

Once they’d put enough space between them and the shop, they laid out old maps on a shelf of rocks. Plotting out where they were possibly headed. 

“It’s far, but I’m headed that way anyways,” Cooper pointed to an area just south of the location Leroy had given them, “the executive vault is in this area. Wouldn’t mind the company.”

Kate leaned over the map, her hands splayed out on the rock. She dragged her finger along their path, starting to drift north past their destination before pausing. A crease formed in her brow as her eyes darted across the map. 

“We play it by ear. If we get there and it doesn’t work out, you have options. Could follow 66 to I90…” he offered her route home quietly.

Her eyes snapped to his, putting a stop to that discussion, before returning to the map. 

“I haven’t heard much about the Oklahoma wastes. Some rumors of old brotherhood factions controlling parts of the region, but that’s it. We’d be moving in close enough to Missouri that they’re going to be an issue regardless.”

Cooper nodded. “We’d be going in blind.”

It was dangerous. In his over 200 years worth of experience, he’d only heard whisperings of the area. People wastelanding weren’t from Oklahoma. Their inhabitants, if there were any, weren’t leaving. And he highly doubted it was because of the stellar accommodations. 

“It would take a while. Weeks likely,” she turned to look up at him, worry washed across her face, “we get caught up by the brotherhood, they’d execute us both.”

“Like I said, I’m heading that way anyways. I won’t hold it against you if you don’t want to. But, I think I’d have far more fun with you tagging along,” he gave her a flirty look as he poked her in the ribs. She swatted him away, rolling her eyes and giving him a smile that had his heart stuttering.

“Well shit, it might take us months then,” she teased.

Cooper turned to her, catching her off guard as he gripped her ribs, pulling her against him before lifting her up to sit on the rock shelf, crumpling the maps. Her wild laughter was infectious, drawing out his own as he manhandled her. His hands bracketed her hips, pressing into the rock face as they smiled at each other. Gentle hands drifted up his shoulders, her fingers lacing behind his neck. 

He was just about to say something when a curl drifted across her face, swaying gently in the breeze, the words drifting away from his mind. Crimson spread across her cheeks under his gaze. Her lips pursed together as she tried to stifle her grin, but softened as he tucked the strand of errant hair behind her ear. His mottled knuckles dragged gently down her cheek to her lower lip. The pad of his thumb dragged across her plush, pink hued skin before dropping down to her chin. 

His eyes drifted back to hers, losing himself completely there. Caught in the gray, stormy sea of her eyes. He could stay there, happily drifting for an eternity. A thought popped into the recesses of his mind.

Don’t.

The thought faded as quickly as it had appeared. Once again losing himself to the swirling sea in her eyes.

“Come with me, Kate.” 

A faint line formed between her brows, so subtle he’d almost missed it. Her eyes drifted over his face, as if searching for something. He’d started to steel himself, preparing for her rejection when her face softened.

“Okay,” she whispered, a gentle smile pulled at her lips. His grip on her chin tightened, dragging her into him. Their kiss was slow, gentle, as if they were savoring this moment, whatever this feeling was.

You’ll regret this.

But as her soft lips brushed against his, the taste of her enveloping him, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

Chapter Text

Crackling flames of the campfire spit into the blackened sky, encircled by shabby couches. Two raiders lounged across them. One bald. The other with long, greasy black hair, slicked back behind his ears. Kate had her back pressed tightly to the sidewall of the dilapidated shack behind them. Crouched low, her thighs screaming from fatigue and overuse. They’d been walking for days, taking breaks only when necessary. Dusty earth crunched beneath her boots  as she adjusted her footing in an attempt to relieve some of the burning in her legs. She cringed at the sound that threatened to give away her position.

“You hear that?” Baldy perked up, looking around. Kate remained low, slowly backing away. Sneaking around the back corner of the shack, her knife at the ready. 

“Prolly justa radroach, dogs’ll get it,” the greaseball grumbled.

“Where are those dirty mutts anyways?” Baldy's voice drifted closer, coming up from the side of the shack. Boots crunched in the dirt and gravel, growing louder as he approached.

Kate stood to her full height, keeping tight to the wall. When Baldy rounded the corner, he was greeted with her blade sinking into his throat. Blood poured from the gaping wound, dripping down his shirt as he gurgled. She gave him a small smile and a wink before he slumped over. She caught him, twisting his limp body against her, before he could hit the ground. Their feet shuffled, a bit too loudly, as she pulled his limp body back behind the shack, setting him down gently.

“What are you getting into back-” Greaseball rounded the corner, looking for his counterpart. His eyes went wide as he saw Kate, looming over Baldy’s body. “You’re gonna die you fucking bitch!”

“Not likely,” she purred as she sank down into a fighting stance, giving him a devious smile, “but you are.”

And then he was on her, bringing down a machete over her head. Her hand shot out, blocking the deadly blow. Muscles in her arm and shoulder strained against his own strength as she twisted. Gracefully dragging his body down face first into the dust, before sinking her blade through his temple. Blood spurted from the side of his head, his body twitched below her.

It was all over so quickly. A real shame honestly. Most of these people out here lacked the skill required for a fun fight. Instead, relying on brute strength, which only went so far. A good fight was like a dance. Graceful, controlled, intentional. Like how her and Cooper fought. Now that was a fun fucking time. When Greaseball stilled, she wiped her blade on his pants and pushed off him to inspect her work. 

Their bodies laid slumped beside each other, their guard dogs’ limp bodies only a few feet away. Four lives taken by her hand. There was once a time when that would have bothered her. Taking a life, even if justified. It didn’t feel like her place. But now…it was all in a day's work out here.

She sheathed her blade, heading into the shack to search for whatever supplies she could. The loot wasn’t anything to get excited about. She pocketed some food, water, and caps before heading back out to the fire, shaking a canister of jet in her hand. Flopping back into the cleanest looking couch, spreading her long body out across the cushions. Something hard dug into her back as she leaned against the armrest. She reached back to find a liquor bottle tucked into the cushions. A chaser to her jet. 

The high was woefully disappointing. Whoever the chemist was that made this was absolutely shit at their job. It had been days since she’d found some decent drugs. She still firmly believed this area needed to invest into a better drug trade. She brought the bottle to her lips, the burn of poorly distilled vodka washing down her throat.

“Startin’ the party without me,” Cooper drawled as he emerged from the shadows. Blood was smattered across his face making him look even more menacing than normal. 

“Ain’t my fault you took so damn long” she teased, holding out the bottle to him as he loomed over her. “Find anything good?”

“They got a water catchment system, half full. Seems like the storms have been pulling through here.”

Kate gave him a weary glance.

Storms had been taunting them in the distance for the last few days. While they would have normally welcomed the cooling relief of the rain, these storms were different. Stronger. Thick green hued clouds blanketed the sky directly to their east, a wall of swirling radiation. And they seemed to roll in so suddenly. One minute the horizon would be clear, then, without warning, the horizon would darken. As they’d gotten closer, they could feel the shift in the environment around them. There was no wind, no sounds of the creatures that roamed these places. Just eerie silence. 

There’d been no signs of storms reaching the areas they’d passed through, until now. They were getting close. A familiar unease fell over her, just as it had during her journey as a prisoner. The same feeling that precipitated the tornados had nearly taken out the caravan.

This wasn’t an adversary she could fight. If a tornado dropped before her, she was fully at its mercy. The utter lack of control over the situation, the helplessness, was a feeling unlike any other. 

They’d considered another route, but they had few options. They could try to head north, closer to the Missouri line, but chances were they’d run into the same weather pattern. And that place was already crawling with brotherhood. They could drop south to The Texas Commonwealth, but they both knew they’d have a hard time keeping a low profile there. Bound to run into someone who had it out for them. So they kept to their path, crossing into Oklahoma deadcenter in the panhandle, using it as a buffer between territories. 

This route seemed promising at least. They hadn’t spotted any brotherhood patrols since the eastern edge of New Mexico. For some reason, this area didn’t seem worth it for them to travel to. Either there wasn’t shit this way, or whatever was here was too much for them to handle. What better place for an AWOL brotherhood member to hide than a place too dangerous for them to consider following?

So they pushed on, towards the eye of the storm, and prayed to any god that may care enough to listen that it didn’t whisk them away. 

She swung her legs off the couch as Cooper came to sit beside her, a bundle of fabric in his 

hands. Radscorpion meat they’d stripped off a particularly nasty one they’d run into. 

“There’s a shack back there,” he motioned his head towards the vast blackness he’d emerged from, spearing the chunks of meat on the spit over the fire. “Couple mattresses in there too. I’ll take first watch.” 

Thunder rolled in the distance, the promise of yet another storm moving in. While they hadn’t seen any tornados touch down, they’d seen plenty of funnel clouds form. It wouldn’t be long before they made landfall. So, Kate opted to get cleaned up while Cooper cooked their dinner. Their time here would be limited, and she’d take any excuse to get away from the sickly fishy smell of the radscorpion. 

She made her way to the large shack Cooper had cleared, stepping over the bodies he’d left in his wake. The thing looked poorly built, bad enough that a strong wind would likely knock it over. These raiders must not have been out here long. It was a miracle this was standing given the storms that this area was prone to. The door groaned as she pushed it open, falling off its top hinge as she stepped through. 

The windowless walls left the room stuffy and dark. A musty smell filled the air, making her nose twinge a bit. A couple bare and dirty mattresses lined the room, but nothing else. Unease pulsed through her as a faint tingling encircled her wrists. She cringed as she rubbed the bracelets of faint scarring that adorned her wrists, her heart rate picking up a bit. She took a deep breath through her nose, pinching her eyes shut. 

Shacks like this were scattered throughout the country. Little encampments left behind from travelers. Easy and useful places to crash while on the road. She’d spent many nights in places just like this when she’d traveled through the Commonwealth. Even had one of her own that she’d set up just down the road from her parents. An attempt to put some space between her and her father. 

He was a touch overbearing. Which was ironic given the fact that he’d crafted her into a cold hard killer. But he’d had a hard time letting her be an adult. They’d always butted heads. Far too similar to one another. Things really reached a breaking point not long after her 18th birthday. That was right around the time she stopped giving a shit about what he thought.

She’d been working the water caravan for months at that point. Had proven that she could hold her own. It was time to cut the damn cord. So she packed up her shit and moved a whopping 100 yards down the road. It wasn’t far, but it felt like it back then. 

It was enough to bring a little harmony back to their relationship. At least she could go out without him intercepting her in the hall. But he was always watching. Although her mother made him keep his mouth shut about her comings and goings. And he had, until she started spending nights there with company. 

She’d stopped into their house that morning, to grab breakfast before heading out on the caravan’s next run. It was early, just after dawn. She’d gotten in late the night before. Her team was doing a quick turn around and had spent most of the night drinking and catching up with others in town. 

Her mother was already up when she’d walked into the kitchen, eating breakfast at the table. Her mess of curly hair, once brown, streaked gray with age, piled up on top of her head. Looking overall better than she had the last time Kate had seen her, but still fragile.

“Morning,” she said as she leaned down to press a kiss to her mother’s head, reaching over for a piece of mutfruit. Her mother squeezed her hand lightly as it rested on her shoulder. “How ya feelin’ Ma?”

She’d been declining for years. She’d always been sick, never fully recovering from a difficult labor with Kate. But she’d still been able to work on the farm in town, helping out as she could. Her father had told her she didn’t have to. That their family had done enough for the settlement already and no one would have said a word if she took a step back. But she enjoyed it, until she couldn’t anymore. Not long after, her father stopped going out with the Caravan, staying home to work on the purifiers and help her mother. Leaving most of their empire of perfectly purified water to Kate. And business had boomed under her reign.

“Good today. Think I might go see Verna,” she smiled at her as Kate poured herself a coffee, leaning against the counter. 

“That’s good. She’s been having a hell of a time with Sammy. Little shit has been sneaking out with Val at night,” she wiggled her brows.

“Oh I don’t want to hear that,” she sighed, “he’s 15! A baby still.”

Kate just gave her a grin over her cup. Her mother was surprisingly innocent considering where she’d come from. Sammy was the closest thing she had to a brother. There’d been a time he’d outed her for sneaking out, so this was karma at its finest.

“You wait. One day you’ll want to have a little fun. But I’ll be waiting. Don’t you dare let me catch you trying to live a little.”

“No I won’t,” he’d sneered at her.

And when she did finally catch him sneaking out, she didn’t say shit. But the look in his eyes when she’d found the little love birds hiding down by the beach was priceless. 

The screen door creaked open, slamming shut as heavy footsteps moved through the house. Her father, tall and brooding as ever, glared at her as he stepped into the kitchen. 

“Just heard that McDonough kid was seen leaving the settlement not too long ago,” he announced harshly as he leaned down over her mother, pressing a kiss to her head. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would ya Kate?” He said it in a way that told her full well he already knew everything he needed to. 

She quirked a brow at him as she gulped down a sip of her coffee. “Good morning to you too, Dad,” she said dryly. 

“Well?”

“I really don’t think you want me to answer that,” she quipped.

He shook his head in clear disapproval while he poured his own coffee. “That kid’s bad news.”

“He’s 29…so not a kid,” sarcasm thick in her voice.

“For Christ sakes Kate. What are you doing with your life?”

Her rage simmered just below the surface as she glared at him. How dare he even say that to her. As if she hadn’t dedicated what little life she would have here to their family. 

“So,” her mother cut in, attempting to spare Kingsport from the impending shouting match, “are you two, you know, together?”

“Oh my god, Ma,” she groaned, pushing off the counter, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers, “it’s too early for this.”

“I’d like to meet him,” she said firmly, “maybe invite him to dinner?”

Both her father and Kate stared at her mother like she had two heads. Exchanging concerning looks briefly before staring at her again. Equally stunned silent by this bizarre request. A rarity for the both of them. 

“What? I’ve heard enough about the damn man. From everyone else but you, I might add,” she shot a motherly glare in Kate’s direction, “I’d like to meet him.”

“Jane, have you lost your damn mind,” her father said in bewilderment. “Besides the obvious issue with this. This guys a fucking loser!”

He wasn’t totally wrong. John had his issues. Many of which, Kate couldn’t fully comprehend, but he was a good man. They’d been friends for years and he’d had her back more times than she could count.

Kate sighed, heading for the door, “I don’t have time for this. Tommy didn’t show this morning. I gotta go find where he landed last night.”

“Kate, wait,” her mother called after her. She turned back to her mother, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen. A pained look fell over her mother’s face, “stay, please. I can make you eggs, you need more than that.”

“I can’t,” she tilted her head apologetically, “we’re already running behind.”

Her mother sighed. Knowing full well she wouldn’t win this fight. It had been the same thing with her father when he’d been on the road. No matter how much she begged and pleaded, he never missed a delivery. And neither did Kate. “How long will you be? You’ve barely been home. I miss you.”

That hurt her heart. 

“I know Ma,” she came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her mothers shoulders, hugging her, “I miss you too. We’ve just been busy. I’ll try and get back by the end of the week. We can have dinner. I promise. Love you.” She gave her mother another kiss before heading for the door, shooting her father a glare on her way. “You too,” she grumbled. 

“Love you, Kate,” he sighed.

As she stepped onto the porch she heard her mother in a way she’d never heard her before. 

“I swear to god Eaton, you push our baby away, I will never forgive you.” 

She hadn’t made it to dinner that week. Instead, she’d spent that time with John. Watching him passed out in her bed after he’d mixed too many chems. Again. Something she would regret for the rest of her life.

A month later John would prove her father right, her parents would be dead, and she was torn from her home. And the next time she’d be in a shack like this, she’d be tied up, fading in and out of consciousness, nearly dead. Wishing she was at the very least. Happy memories in places like this had been greatly outweighed by painful ones. 

Painful memories she’d mostly blocked out, until this past week. Until the nightmares had returned. She’d hope Cooper would have been enough of a distraction to keep them at bay, but he wasn’t. At first, she’d tried to run from them. Spent the first few days out here with him, barely sleeping. Waking up just before things got too painful. She’d always known what had likely happened in those early days. What could have possibly caused the gaps in her memory. She’d come to terms with it as just a reality of this place. But she didn’t want to relive it. It wouldn’t change anything. It would just make it hurt more. 

But Cooper’s words had floated through her head. “You keep runnin’ those demons are gonna keep chasin’.” He was right. And, she knew the lack of sleep would only make things worse. So she tried. Slept as much as she could manage. But never in a shack like this. 

She cleaned up with the water from the catchment system. It hadn’t become stagnant yet. Fresh from recent rains. A welcomed relief after days spent on the road with little opportunity to feel clean. Her hair had become a knotted mess. It was such a pain in the ass to manage out here, but she just couldn’t lose that last bit of her mother. That would wreck her completely.

When she returned to the fire, Cooper had nearly finished the liquor. That was probably for the best. They had to get going soon and she’d need to keep her wits about her. She sank into the couch beside him as he handed her dinner. 

“Thanks,” she said as she finished untangling her damp hair. Anything to delay eating fucking rad scorpion. He’d made it extra crispy, the only way she could stomach it. She took a bite, the acrid taste coated her tongue as her jaw strained to work through the tough meat. Her nose pinched as it slid down her throat.

“It’s not that bad,” Cooper chuckled at her. He took a bite of his own piece, cooked far less than hers. She’d started to wonder if he cooked his own meat out of solidarity rather than want or need. He’d also made a habit of waiting for her to eat his own meal. The man was downright polite with her, which was surprising considering who he was.

“It could be worse,” she mumbled around her bite. 

It could be. They could have nothing, which was something she’d gotten used to out here on her own. Hunting had always seemed too much of a risk, and kind of a waste. Why kill a whole radstag just to take a few bits? As callous as she’d become to death, she still felt some sense to preserve what she could. And she did her best to avoid run-ins with the mutated creatures out here. If she did have to kill them, she wasn’t usually sticking around long enough to gut them, not wanting to run into any of their friends.

Having a companion made it easier to pick fights she’d usually avoid. Made it more worth it to go out and hunt for a meal. It also made her realize just how little self worth she’d had in recent years. Not that she hadn’t been aware of it in some sense, but it was never something she could allow herself to look inward on. Not while she was in survival mode. But now, she could.

She’d been so confident back home. Borderline cocky at times. But she’d liked who she was back then. Others had liked her too. She’d traveled all over the Commonwealth. Had friends in every corner. She hadn’t known loneliness before coming out here. And then the loneliness became so familiar that companionship had been too daunting to consider.

But this wasn’t so bad. 

“Where did you go off too,” Cooper nudged her. She was still getting used to not living her life inside her head. 

“Sorry, I used to be a lot better at this,” she said, “the whole socializing thing.”

It wasn’t that she didn’t socialize out here, but that was usually just out of necessity. She’d make the rounds at the bars, the neutral territories. People were less inclined to shoot you when they knew you were fun to drink with. 

“Would you believe it if I told you, I rarely spent time alone back home?”

“I actually would, you’re the type that draws a crowd.”

“Yeah, but I used to enjoy it. When I took over for my father, we had a lot of customers. I was on the road more than I was home. Fucking loved it. Spent every night in a different settlement or encampment. People were good to us. Always excited to see us. My cup was never dry and I never paid for a drink,” she mused nostalgically.  

“You don’t pay for drinks now,” he pointed out with a laugh.

“Yeah, but people wanted to buy me drinks. Like you would if you ran into an old friend. Now they buy me drinks out of fear or because they want something from me. Ya know?”

He hummed in agreement, nodding as he chewed his food.

“Did you have a lot of friends before?” She tilted her head at him.

He stilled, eyes narrowing a bit as if trying to evaluate a threat. 

“I did,” he responded cautiously.

“And…” she rolled her finger at him, urging him to continue.

“Shit, you don’t get social cues do you?”

“I get them,” she rolled her eyes at him, shaking her head “I just don’t care about them. Come on, I want to know more about you.”

“Why?”

“Cause I like you. You should feel honored, I don’t like many people out here.” 

He seemed a bit surprised at that admission. She couldn’t figure out why, she’d thought she’d made it pretty clear. Maybe it was the bluntness of her admission. She’d been told plenty of times that she was blunt. She’d figured it was a product of being kept in Kingsport for most of her youth. The settlement was large, but everyone knew everyone. Like a big family. She’d grown up being able to be blunt with others, and didn’t find the need to change that when she finally stepped out into the world. 

“Fine,” he sighed. “Yes, I had friends. Threw a lot of parties at our place. It was…fine.”

The Ghoul throwing a party was a mental image she was struggling to picture. The man was generally doom and gloom. Even at the bars he was reserved. He’d get in on a good laugh, or a card game, but wasn’t exactly the party type.

“Sounds like you really enjoyed it,” she said sarcastically before taking another sickening bite of meat.

He bit back a smile. 

“Did you work? Or did your wife pull in all the money running her evil empire,” she quipped, immediately regretting it as his smile faded, a steely look falling over him. It wasn’t her place. Regardless of how she felt about the woman, or the choices she made, she had no right to judge. For all she knew, Cooper could find his family one day and run right back into her arms. That was his business.

“I did.” He said tightly.

“Fine, fine, keep your secrets.”

He pushed off the couch, stomping off to sit on the other couch. Kate’s brows raised and she held her hands up, relenting. He sank down into the cushion glaring at her over the fire. 

An awkward silence hung in the air around them for several minutes before he finally blurted out,“you act like you ain’t hiding shit from me. You’re not exactly an open book sweetheart.”

She rolled her eyes. Doubling down on the silent treatment. They hadn’t talked much since leaving the vault. This wasn’t a damn therapy session. It was work. 

Flashes of green stretched across the sky as a rad storm swirled to life in the distance. Cooper’s eyes locked onto it.

“Why doesn’t it bother you? The radiation?” He called over across the fire, louder than he should have.

“Can you keep it down?” Her eyes darted around the darkness. 

“Honey, ain’t no one out here but you and I. I didn’t push it in the vault, but it’s time you fucking told me. I ain’t walking you into that ,” he pointed up to the clouds in the distance, “without knowing you ain’t gonna start melting away on me.”

“First of all, you ain’t walking me anywhere. I walk myself places just fine. Second, why do you care so much?” Her eyes narrowed at him. 

He held her stare with narrowed eyes of his own, hesitating. “Because it ain’t something I want to see you go through! It ain’t fucking easy.” he bit out. 

Her eyebrows raised expectantly, not satisfied with his answer. 

He rolled his eyes at her,  “Cause I fucking like you.”

________________

She grinned at him smugly. It irritated him, but he didn’t want her to stop. Of course she knew he liked her, just like he knew she liked him. They wouldn’t be out here together if they didn’t enjoy being around each other. 

Her smile faded as she drifted off in thought again. She did it often. Spent more time in her damn head than she did with him. The last several days had been rough. Their focus had turned to safely making it through New Mexico. Because of him, they’d had to take several more detours than they’d originally planned. Avoiding The Brotherhood. He could handle it, but it wasn’t fair to her. 

“You ever hear about that shit that went down in Wyoming back in the 50s? That scientist running experiments on pregnant women?”

“Heard something about some mutated kids being killed by the Brotherhood, but that’s about it.”

There’d been an urban legend about a community up there with kids with three heads running around. Some mad scientist trying to mutate fetuses. He hadn’t paid much mind to it. Wild stories ran rampant in the new world, and most strange instances could have been explained away by the impact of excess rads in the environment. 

Turns out this urban legend wasn’t too far off from reality. 

Her parents' employer, Roscoe, had been one greedy bastard. So greedy he’d loaned the women in his employment out to the local mad scientist, profiting off their kids before they were even born. Kids that were a product of their line of work, not a loving relationship. Had told them he was sending ‘em to a “wellness clinic” as a part of their “benefits package”. As if they were employees at will. 

Well doc was givin’ them these injections as a “preventative”, but it was actually mutated ghoul DNA. Guy thought he could create an entire generation of immortal humans. Thought he could influence their DNA to take on some of the ghoul traits with repeated exposure. High maternal and fetal mortality rate with this guy. Almost every one of those kids had some mutation. A mutation that left them too sick to leave his care, so they lived with him. Mother’s not allowed to visit due to “infection risk” for the kids, never allowed to see their babies again. Kids likely being used as live experiments. There’d been reports of strange children spotted roaming the town at night. But no one was ever able to catch one. One minute there, the next gone. 

Turns out her father had been one of the two guards assigned to bring her mother to appointments. They got to know each other and quickly fell in love. And her father quickly realized there was something up with this Doc Fenton. Killed the other guard and ran with her mother. Beat the guys head in and swapped gear, hopefully throwing Roscoe off their trail if he went looking.

They’d been on the road only a few days when they heard The Brotherhood had raided the settlement. Killed everyone. No potential mutant offspring left alive. Kate’s parents considered settling somewhere out west, but ultimately decided to put as much distance between that place and themselves. Ended up pushing east until they hit the coast, settled in Kingsport. 

Her mother had barely survived the trip, delivered Kate just days after they arrived. But Kate was fine, a surprisingly normal baby. They’d assumed they’d gotten her mother out soon enough that the injections didn’t take. 

Until Kate started getting sick. Frequent bouts of vomiting. They’d figured it had something to do with the downed plane up the road. High rads in addition to whatever effects those injections had. She’d been so sick she’d nearly wasted away. They’d been so preoccupied taking care of her, they didn’t realize they’d run out of rad-x. She ended up eating for the first time in days when her father scrambled out to find some more. It had been the Rad-x all along. 

As she got older, they realized rads seemed to have no effect on her at all. Without getting her studied, they could never be sure what other ghoul traits she’d inherited, so they decided to prepare her for it all. 

Cooper’s head was spinning by the time she finished her story. He’d resisted the urge to interrupt her during the tale. Couldn’t even think where to start as a flurry of questions ran through his head. As she’d spoken, he sank back down onto the couch beside her. This shit was too wild to be sitting so far from her.

It made a lot of sense. Not just the rad resistance, but her healing. The sun burn she’d gotten when he’d first found her was nasty, nearly blistered. It was gone by the next morning. Her shoulder had healed too quickly for just a stimpack. She’d survived running from a Deathclaw nesting ground with a raging infection after being dragged across the wastes for weeks. And she looked damn good for all that bullshit. He didn’t realize he was staring at her until she started to squirm.

“That’s why you're so goddamn smooth,” he observed in bewilderment. The woman wasn’t what you’d expect from a 34 year old woman in 2292 unless she’d been spending time in a fucking vault, and had a killer skincare routine. Yes, she was scarred, but she was smooth . Some laugh lines, obvious signs of fatigue, but not signs of years of radiation damage and drug use. 

She nodded. “Maybe. I’ve considered I’m just aging slowly, or at least like someone would without constant rad exposure. Or maybe I stopped aging all together. It’s why I wear the bandana. Keeps people from thinking about it too much. I think, in part, it was why I started pushing east. I was too known out West. People were going to start questioning it. I always knew I was possibly going to have to move around every few decades. Start somewhere new, young again.”

“How long did you know all this?”

“My parents never hid it from me. Wanted me to be fully prepared. It was entirely possible to them that this,” she motioned to the world around them, ”would be my reality. Unable to settle down, have a family, kids, real friends. They didn’t want me getting attached to the idea of a “normal” life. And it’s why my dad had me working so damn hard. Not only for when I was on my own, but in case anything happened to them when I was young. I had literally been preparing to protect myself out here since I was six.”

Six. That hit him like a ton of bricks. Janey had been six when the bombs dropped. He couldn’t have imagined teaching her to survive a nuclear wasteland at six, on her own.

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine,” she gave him a reassuring smile, resting her hand on his leg. “I had a far better childhood than most. I had a good life out there. My family loved me enough to dedicate their entire lives to mine. My dad ,” her voice broke, sending a twinge of pain right through his heart, “didn’t just get her out of there for her. He chose me too. I wasn’t his real child, he didn’t have to. That’s more than many of these kids can say about their biological parents. And he made me strong.”

“Something tells me that’s more of a natural talent of yours,” he muttered, “and you heal quicker?”

She nodded. “Not significantly, at least not enough to make it incredibly noticeable. But, I think it’s why I can take a few more punches than most.”

“Yeah, that one strikes me as a natural talent thing too,” he scoffed.

She giggled, shrugging. “I don’t fucking know. I’m just spitballing here. It’s not like I can get any solid evidence on any of this. I can’t risk some crazy doc getting ahold of my DNA. Who knows what they’d do if they realized what I was. Whatever the fuck that is. And I don’t feel like being the blueprint for some superhuman race. Or a lab molerat.”

Doctors in the new world weren’t exactly held to any standards. No formal training required. No oaths. Just some backyard scientists who hopefully had good intentions. But many of them were out of their damn tree. Looking for some big breakthrough that would have their name written in the history books.

“You said The Brotherhood destroyed the town? But Roscoe made it out?”

“Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if he sold Fenton out for some serious caps. He had enough that he could just rebuild elsewhere anyways. Could have just gotten word that the Brotherhood were incoming and split. From what I heard from his men, he had multiple properties. He headed elsewhere when they were taking me back to what he’d rebuilt in Wyoming. Who knows where he is.”

“Ever consider he’d get word of you out here? Run into you even?”

“That thought has driven me nearly insane,” she looked up at him, her brow furrowed, a bit of fear in her eyes. “There was one time out here I was recognized. It was fucking awful. Some ghoul in Filly. Thought I was my mother. Albeit he was pretty confused as to why I looked so young. Dragged him into an alley. Told me he’d helped my parents out when they were traveling through Colorado.” She paused for a moment as her eyes darkened, “I killed him,” she looked up at him with glassy eyes, “I had no choice.” It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than him. 

“Shit,” he reached out, grabbing her hand. His thumb running across her knuckles. She gripped him tight.

“Things started going downhill after that,” she stared down at their hands, “I think…I think that’s when it stopped affecting me. The killing. Not that I wasn’t used to it, but after that one…I was numb after that one. I thought that wanted poster you have,” she motioned to his bag where he still kept her photo, “was from Filly.”

A bounty out of Filly on Kate woulda been a big fucking deal. She was too known there. Respected. It would have essentially ruined any chance of her settling elsewhere.

“Shit Kate, I’m sorry,” he felt real bad about that one. He’d been aiming for tough love, but instead made her life flash before her eyes. 

“You didn’t know,” she reassured him, looking at him with soft eyes. Consoling him when he should have been consoling her. “Really wasn’t excited to have to kill you though. Or whatever doc I woulda had give me a new face.”

“Now that woulda been a real shame, you got such a pretty one already,” he caught her chin with his thumb. He’d somehow gotten closer to her, sitting with his knee up pressed into hers, his arm leaning on the back of the couch. Completely engrossed in her story.

She smiled up at him. “This mean you’re going to stop being such a damn mother hen?”

He sucked on his teeth. He wasn’t being that bad about it. 

“I’m not as fragile as you think I am,” she reassured him.

Shit. He hadn’t meant to make her feel like she couldn’t handle this shit. She was fucking good at this life. He just…cared.

Don’t go there. Too late, he was there.

He leaned back, patting her knee. “Maybe.”

She rolled her eyes “Fine, will you at least start finishing in me? I don’t have a spare shirt currently.”

“I think I could manage that,” he went to lean back into her, but she halted him with a hand to his chest.

Her eyes drifted up to the sky above them. Clouds hung thick overhead. The whispers of a storm forming above them. “Go get cleaned up, looks like we’re running out of time.”

Fuck did he not want to leave her after all that. It was heavy shit. But they both needed to get some rest before the storm moved in. She’d struggled the first few days out of the vault. Couldn’t get any solid sleep. Kept waking up, drenched in sweat. And not from the heat. But he didn’t push her, figured she’d talk if she needed. Only said something to him once. When she looked like she was about to snap. She’d been sitting next to him, fighting sleep when she’d looked up at him, her face gaunt with exhaustion, “I don’t want to remember.”  

He didn’t need to ask what she meant. Didn’t need the details if she didn’t want to spare them. They both knew what this place did to people. So he’d offered her an arm to sleep in, and she did, for a bit. He had to give it to her, she’d pushed through. Managed to get sleep when she could, stopped fighting it as much. Looked at the discomfort and headed straight into it. 

When he returned, he plopped down on the couch, tucking her into his side as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket. The clouds were starting to dissipate overhead. They had a bit more time.

She reached over, her hand going to his belt buckle. “You should rest,” he murmured, half-heartedly, while his arms went back on the couch.

“I know, but I haven’t blown you yet,” she pointed out, voice heavy with lust as she released him from his pants. She grasped him, leaning close to whisper in his ear, “I wanna know how you taste.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, head lolling back into the couch. She gripped him lightly, giving him a few gentle pumps. Didn’t take much for her get him to full height. As she leaned down, her breath ghosted over his shaft while she worked him. Lips hovering just above his tip, making him throb with anticipation. “You’re such a fucking tease.”

“I know,” she purred, the huskiness in her voice intensifying his need for her. She pressed a gentle kiss to his tip, chuckling softly as he twitched in her hand. “It’s so fun.”

His hands gripped the couch as her tongue swiped across him, lapping at the bead of cum there. Then she was pulling away, leaving him aching from the absence of her touch. He let out a pained groan as he looked up to find her sliding off the couch, pushing his legs out wide, settling on her knees between them. 

She was a fucking vision. Sitting before him, backlit by the fire, light filtering through the strands of flyaway hairs that had begun to dry. She looked up at him with those lovely, heavy lidded eyes, a coy smile playing on her lips as she ran the palms of her hands up his thighs. His cock twitched in anticipation.

“I ever tell you how fucking beautiful you are?” At that, her lips stretched into a wide smile that he would do anything to see again.

“Maybe once or twice,” she mused, wrapping her hand around him firmly again, leaning down close.

He inhaled sharply through clenched teeth as she wrapped her mouth around him, tongue flat to the underside of his cock, caressing the textured skin as she took him into her mouth completely. “Fuck honey, I ain’t gonna last long.”

She made a noise that would replay in his dreams for years, the reverberations from her throat, dancing along him. His hands shot out, going to grasp her hair, but settled on the couch beside him, not wanting to do anything to make her uncomfortable. Her tongue wrapped around him as her mouth slid up to the tip. 

“You can touch me,” she whispered before wrapping her lips around him once more, cheeks hollowing as she moved slowly up and down his shaft.

“Thank god,” he groaned out, hands wrapping in the mess of nearly dried curls, threading his fingers through the soft strands. 

He’d been wanting to do this with her. Feel her take him in this way. And she did it so well. Effortlessly even. Her movements were slow, graceful, not bothering to hurry getting him there, but savoring him. Her languid movements were dizzying. Had him seeing fucking stars. She didn’t need to rush, he was getting there quickly regardless. 

She gripped his pants, pulling them down enough to give her access to his balls. FIngers dancing over the skin lightly. He shouldn’t have been able to feel it. Shouldn’t have felt any of those gentle touches she gifted him with, but it was as if she’d brought nerves back to life he’d thought were long dead. Her touch set him fucking alight. 

She cupped him, rolling his balls in her hand as her other gripped his shaft, working in tandem with the goddamn mouth of hers. Tension built low in him, like a spring coiling tightly. He went to pull her off him, fighting his release, before remembering he didn’t need to hold back anymore.

He bucked into her, twitching as he let out a rough, low groan. Releasing down her throat. She let out a soft sigh around his cock, the vibrations almost too much for his sensitive cock as he came. Pleasure only she could give him, sending shockwaves through his body. Only pulling herself from him when his twitches of pleasure eased. Giving him one last firm stroke up his shaft as he hissed, wringing out the last bit of cum. Her gaze locked with his as her tongue lapped it up, giving him a smug smile as he twitched again. 

“Come here,” he panted. She stood up slowly, giving him a god damn show and leaned over him. The collar of her shirt fell open enough for him to see the lines of her cleavage as she leaned on him, a hand pressing into his shoulder. His hand wrapped around the back of her head, pulling her in for a deep kiss. The taste of him mingling perfectly with the taste of her.

She broke their kiss, but didn’t push away. His hand dropped back to the couch.

“Come lay with me? I don’t want to be alone,” fatigue was etched into her face.

He nodded as he tucked her hair behind her ear, getting a small smile from her in return. He tucked himself back into his pants as she pushed off him. As she turned to walk away, he couldn’t resist the urge to slap her ass.

She grinned at him over her shoulder, “Don’t you get any ideas. We both need to sleep. We’ll set some traps, board up the door.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he drawled as he grinned up at her, pushing off the couch to follow her. It had been days since he’d gotten any real sleep, and it didn’t seem likely he’d get another chance anytime soon. He could go without sleep far longer than her, but his tank was running on empty, and she’d just sucked the last bit of energy right out of him. Sleeping together wasn’t something they could do often out here, but they had little choice. And he wasn’t about to deny her anyways. 

So they laid there, wrapped up in one another. Drifting off to the sounds of radioactive lightning reverberating in the distance. A sound that had set him on edge a few hours ago. But he slept a little more soundly knowing that she could weather that storm just as well as he could. Just as long as it didn’t carry them both away. 

Chapter Text

Kate felt like a damn drowned mole rat. Her thighs screamed, her breaths coming in heavy pants as they sprinted through the radioactive rain. The storm fell upon them a few hours back, not long after they’d started their day. At least she’d thought it’d been a few hours. Sure fucking felt like it given the way her damn legs were aching. The thick blanket of green above them made it difficult to tell what time it was. They’d woken up before the sun. Only getting a few hours of restless sleep, both stirring at any strong gust of wind. Not like they could have done anything about it had a tornado touched down around them. They’d be whisked off so damn fast, they probably wouldn’t have even known what was happening before it was too late. 

The landscape was even more barren here. Sand, and only sand, as far as the eye could see. When she could see further than a foot in front of her face, that is. From Kate’s limited knowledge of US history and geography, that likely put them somewhere in the panhandle, but she couldn’t be sure. They didn’t dare stop to look at a map. More likely to lose the damn thing before they’d even got a chance to look at it. Or the hail would start and shred it. 

Oh, the hail. Easily her least favorite weather pattern. Her bag had a sizable hole in it, and she was covered in fresh bruises. It had been so bad at one point they had to find coverage under an old piece of sheet metal they’d found. It was a miracle honestly. The thing was buried under layers of sand, completely hidden. They only realized it was there because their feet didn’t sink as far into the sand when they came upon it. Hiding under there was a different type of torture. Hail the size of baseballs pelted against it, weighing the sheet down, nearly crushing them. She’d imagined it was similar to being stoned. And it was so fucking loud, her ears were still ringing. When the hail had finally eased a bit and they’d pushed the metal off them, they found it covered in large dents. Her flesh wouldn’t have stood a chance against that. They didn’t marvel at the horrifying revelation for long before they were running off again.

It was getting bad. It had all been bad, but this was another level. Bad enough that they’d desperately been looking for shelter at this point, completely abandoning the path they were taking. They were on borrowed time. Wall clouds kept forming before disappearing in an instant. As if the storm was taunting them. It was only a matter of time before one touched down. But there was nothing out here. Just endless fucking miles of flat, sandy terrain. 

It had been years since Kate felt completely out of control in a situation, helpless. No matter how bad a situation got, she always had a chance. Some way she could fight her way out of it. No amount of bullets could save her from a fucking twister. Nothing he could do to save her, or him. They’d be fucked. That feeling was awful. Like she was being hunted.

And fuck was she cold. After the last few months of blistering heat, she never would have imagined she’d be bitching about the cold, but here she was. Winds whipped through her soaked clothes, her teeth chattered. Her skin stung, raw from being pelted with sand for hours. The bandana barely softened the blows to her face. 

She was fucking struggling.

“We gotta move,” Cooper called back to her as she fell behind, jogging back and dragging her forward by the wrist.

God, it was getting real fucking cold, fast. But, at least, the wind was starting to ease.

She thought on that for a moment. Something about that didn’t seem as good as it sounded. She flipped through the recesses of her mind, trying to remember everything she could about her research on Tornadoes. Aka, reading a book called Wicked Wild Weather her Dad had brought back for her from the Boston Public Library, back when she was ten. He brought her all types of random shit, books. Gifts that had fed her hunger for knowledge, ways for her to learn about the world outside the settlement. It paid off in the end. She’d squirreled away so much seemingly random information in her head. Like the tidbit about the interiors of tornados being considerably colder than the outside temp. Cold panic washed over her as she glanced up, finally able to look ahead without sand blowing in her eyes, the air stilled. The sky was filled with a wall of green clouds, extending down to the ground, peppered with crackling bolts of lightning. Clouds that were moving sideways . Her head followed their path over her back, until she couldn’t turn any further. 

Fuck.

She ripped from Cooper’s grasp, swinging her bag off her shoulder, tearing through it.

“We gotta move! Fucking now, Kate,” Cooper bellowed back to her. 

“I know! I know! Fuck, where is it,” she huffed out. It was honestly amazing how much this bag could hold, but feel so damn light most of the time. Finally, she pulled a syringe of psychobuff out and jabbed it into her leg. A roar tore through her as she slung her bag over her shoulder again, pushing off the sand and breaking into a mad sprint, fast enough to keep up with her ghoul. Both running for their fucking lives, but to where, neither of them knew. 

It was difficult to determine exactly where the tornado around them was moving. It seemed to be heading south. Maybe north. No west. Fucking pointless to try anyways, the damn thing seemed to change direction randomly. They just did their best to stay in the center. Her long legs cut through the soft ground below her, pushing off before the sand could suck her down. A tiny voice in the back of her head acknowledged that she was running out of steam, despite the effects of the psychobuff, but she pushed it away. Not now. If she let that voice grow, it would tear her down completely. So she pushed past the pain, past the terror creeping up her throat, towards the vast nothingness before them. 

Fucking hell. 

Finally, out in the distance, they saw it. A cement building cresting the horizon. Dangerously fucking close to what appeared to be the edge of the swirling vortex encircling them. The world around them seem to fall silent as they zeroed in on their only hope. Adrenaline surging through her veins. All she could hear was sand kicking up below her and their panting breaths. They could do this. 

After a few more miles of running, they reached the entrance. The edge of the tornado was maybe 200 yards off the far side of the building. Kate skidded up to the terminal as the winds started to pick up around them, pulling her to the side. She gripped the edge of the terminal, anchoring herself. Cooper stood beside her as she started working at the password. Not yet overpowered by the wind. Using his body as a shield against the blast of sand, sparing her eyes. He hastily dug through his bag, pulling out a box of mentats, popping two onto her outstretched tongue. Sand and chalk filled her mouth, grit crunching between her teeth, as patterns on the screen became more obvious. Despite the clarity, she had blown three attempts at this point. Shit, no, four. 

“Sentry bot in the building back there,” Cooper pointed to a small building adjacent to them. A dormant sentry bot sat there, caged. 

“No pressure,” Kate quipped as her shoulders tensed. The wind started to whistle around them as she frantically searched for something to clear, but she’d used them all. Cooper gripped her collar as she started while knuckling the terminal, fighting the winds as they tried to carry her away. Nausea rolled through her as her eyes darted across the screen, her heartbeat filling her ears, “I don’t see it!” 

“Outta time, gotta pick something honey,” Cooper bellowed over the whipping winds. Her eyes settled on the only option she had and she hit enter.

TERMINAL LOCKED

PLEASE CONTACT AN ADMINISTRATOR

“No, no. NO!” Kate slammed on the keys, the sound of the Sentry Bot’s gate opening as it powered up was barely audible above the high pitched roaring of the tornado, now hitting the back side of the building. 

Her body was being pulled to the side by the winds as she clung to the terminal, screaming and begging it to unlock. Her feet started sliding out from under her in the sand. Cooper’s grip on her tightened, his other hand gripping the cement light fixture on the wall, barely anchoring them. 

The sentry bot’s minigun whirled to life as she slammed onto the keyboard, in a pathetic attempt to speed up the reset period of the terminal. With the winds this strong, neither of them could reach for their weapon without being blown away. Cooper dragged her over to him, grunting with every last bit of his strength, wedging her body between him and the terminal. Hunching over her as she now silently begged the terminal to reset. Her ribs screamed against the terminal, a few cracking under the weight of Cooper being blown into her, sucking away her breath with the wind. Her eyes pinched at the clunk of the gate that had held back the sentry bot opening fully. Awaiting the sting of hundreds of 5mm bullets hitting her body.This was it, they were going to fucking die. No chance of making it out of this one. When the stinging never came, she chanced a glance up, blanching as she watched the sentry bot whirling off into the putrid green sky. Letting out a shaky breath, in disbelief and pain as she marveled at the wind’s strength as if blew the bot away as if it were a fallen leaf.

The terminal.

Her eyes darted to the screen as her hand slammed back down onto the keyboard, the list of potential passwords appearing on the screen again. Wasting no time, she worked feverishly as Cooper roared into her ear, using the last bit of his strength to push himself off her with one-hand. Pieces of the now crumbling light fixture he gripped pelted the sides of the terminal as he attempted to spare her from being crushed further under his weight. 

It only took her two tries before she cracked the code. She slammed the enter key as she activated the door control opening the door with a whoosh. She turned from the terminal towards Cooper, her head dropping as she was blasted by rain and sand, her eyes stinging. Random bits of junk, chairs and trash were sucked from inside the building, nearly hitting them as they pushed towards the door. 

Cooper pulled her into him, shifting his hand from her collar to wrap his arm around her neck. Pulling them both towards the doorway with the light fixture. She clawed along the side of the building, ignoring the stinging in her fingers, her nails splitting. Doing anything she could to try and help him get them inside. Stinging across her cheek told her something sharp had just struck her. She didn’t know the extent of the damage and she could hardly care. It wouldn’t matter if they didn’t make it in anyways.

Suddenly, her body was lifting off the ground. She was completely disoriented, overwhelmed by fear and pain, but she felt Cooper's arm tighten around her neck. A shrill scream blended with the whistling winds as she felt her body flying away. Only she wasn’t away with the wind, but against it. The whipping winds cut off abruptly as he yanked her through the door.

Pain tore through her body as she slammed against cement. The door whooshing shut behind her, barely muffling the rattling, whistling winds of the vortex outside. Her teeth gritted, as pain took hold of her completely while she struggled for air. 

Cooper’s heavy body fell to the floor beside her a moment later. His breaths heaved before he descended into a coughing fit. She heard the shuffling of his bag, followed by the hiss of his antiferal drugs before he settled. 

Pain had her chest cavity in a vice grip, leaving her unable to take a breath at all. As she rolled there she realized the high pitched whistling sound she was hearing wasn’t just from the winds outside, but also coming from her. An awful gasping sound tearing from her burning throat as she tried, and failed to suck in a breath. Bone scraped against bone as she rolled back and forth, her body's natural reaction to running out of air. A ringing grew in her ears as the edges of her vision became fuzzy. She felt a pinch in her thigh as everything started to fade to black. A moment later she inhaled a long, gasping breath, and the shadows receded. 

Cooper panted beside her on the floor, his hand reaching over for hers, squeezing her tightly. She had a vague sense that he was saying something to her, but she couldn’t register the words. All she could do was gasp and squirm for a few minutes, too weak even to squeeze his hand back. 

The ringing in her ears started to fade a bit as it became easier to breathe. She could hear yelling off in the distance. Multiple voices. Three people? No, two. One was Cooper, but she could still feel him beside her. Not off in the distance then, but right above her. 

She tipped her head back, glancing above her, to find the barrels of two shotguns pointed straight at them.

“Get the fuck out! We were here first!” A woman shrieked.

“Where’s the fucking sentry bot?” A man boomed.

Nothing made sense. Her head was fucking spinning, as if a little bit of that tornado had taken up refuge between her ears. She groaned as she tried to push herself into a sitting position, her hand reaching for her throbbing head.

“Stay the fuck down,” the man pushed the barrel of his shotgun into the back of her skull. 

What is happening?

“Get down,” Cooper grunted as he dragged her back down to the ground, her head hitting the pavement with a sickening crunch. Then she was rolling, vomiting onto the floor.

“Open that fucking door and we all get sucked out,” Cooper hollered over the whistling of wind outside. “She’s concussed, put the fucking guns down. She can’t hurt you. Let me help her!” Strained silence filled the room as nausea rolled through her again, the sounds of her vomiting cutting through the tension. “Please,” he begged. 

No, Cooper didn’t beg, she must have been hallucinating. 

Her vision started to fade just as his face came into her view, leaning over her. Mouth moving as if he was saying something to her, but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. As the blackness swallowed her, all she could think of was how scared he looked.

When she came to, she was lying on the floor, a fluorescent light sizzling above her, sending pain shooting through her head. Her hand came up to cover her eyes, the other gripping her skull as she groaned. Her pillow shifted underneath her. A pillow that smelled delightfully like whiskey and cigarettes. Two of her favorite things.

Not a pillow, Cooper. Another one of her favorite things as of late.

“Kate,” he sounded panicked, “Come on sweetheart, talk to me.”

She uncovered her eyes to see his face hovering over her, blocking out some of the light’s intensity. As she looked over him she realized there was something missing. Well, several things missing. All of his weapons and gear. Her eyes darted around the room trying to figure out where they were, only to realize they were locked behind a chain link fence, surrounded by several pieces of useless pre-war military tech.

She tried to roll over, but pain shot through her ribs. “Ow,” she whimpered pathetically as she gripped her side. 

“Sorry honey, you took a fucking beating,” the rough, low rumble of Cooper’s voice eased the aching in her skull a bit as he ran his hand up and down her bicep, briefly chasing away her worries. The calm was short lived, the pain in her chest threatening to steal her breath away again.

“I need to sit, I can’t fucking breath,” she gasped. This angle was putting too much pressure on her battered ribs. Cooper shifted out from under her, laying her head gently on the ground as he moved to her side. Her teeth gritted as he slid his arm under her back, the other wrapping around the opposite shoulder, lifting her into a sitting position against the fencing. She grasped his forearm, crying out through gritted teeth as her ribs creaked, the bones barely fused back together. 

It took her a few minutes, and a bit of breathing work with the help of Cooper, but she finally caught her breath again. He’d pressed her hand into his chest, taken her face in his hands, and talked her through it. The man was surprisingly calming despite being the poster child for death and destruction. 

“Give me my shit, she needs med-x,” Cooper gruffed out over her shoulder.

“I’ll get it, but you ain’t getting that bag,” a low voice called from across the room.

“Stay the fuck out of my shit or-” Cooper bit out. 

“Take it from mine,” she groaned, “And some jet.”

Fucking assholes. 

There wasn’t anything too interesting in there anyways. Ninety percent of it was various mixtapes she’d collected from local musicians, mods, bullets, snacks, and junk. She could feel she’d been stripped of her weapons, the only things of value she owned. Didn’t matter if they took some shit for themselves. Although, she’d be pretty bummed if they took some of those mixtapes. Local music was so different than the pre-war shit. Had more heart and soul. The collective trauma of a nuclear apocalypse did wonders for the music industry. But given the short range of radio transmissions, most of the stuff she had could only be heard in the region it came from. Each region had a unique sound, preferred genre. She had quite the diverse collection going at this point. 

She groaned in pain as the man rummaged through her bag. Metal rolled across the floor, a moment later Cooper was stabbing her with a syringe. The pain in her side eased a bit as she floated there a moment, a blissful smile stretching across her face. Then the fucking itching set in, ruining the high. She always got itchy after Med-x. Cooper pressed the canister of jet to her lips, giving her a full canister, soothing her confused nerves and sending her back to the clouds.

As she floated back down to her body, her eyes fluttered open to find Cooper crouched before her.

“Hi,” she croaked, smiling at him blearily as his hand reached up to brush her cheek.

She gingerly lifted her heavy hand, holding his hand to her face.

“Hi,” he replied softly, smiling back at her. 

There was a scoff from the other side of the room. Kate dropped her hand, her brows pinching as she looked behind them. A tall, slender man sat on an old wooden box against the far wall of the room, outside the cage. Dark, shaggy hair atop his head. His face smeared with dust, a patchy beard growing in along his jaw. Staring daggers at them. This guy sure was pissed. 

She returned his glare, eyes narrowing, “what’s your fucking problem?” 

“You currently,” he raised his dark scruffy brows at her. He didn’t look dirty in the way most miscreants did in these parts, more like he’d just been through hell and back. Kate sure felt like she had. Maybe that was where they were. 

“Well shit,” she scoffed, turning back to Cooper, “pardon me.”

“Shoulda known you were a damn ghoul fucker,” the man sneered.

“You gonna wanna shut your fucking mouth before I shut it for you,” Cooper’s threat was a little foolish considering they were locked in a cage, but Kate appreciated the sentiment. 

“You threatening me ghoul ? Maybe I’ll leave you in there until you’re gnawing on the bones of your play thing.”

“Would you all shut up,” a woman hissed from behind a shelf, Kate’s view of her obstructed. “I just got the kids to sleep.”

Kids? 

“What is happening?” She whispered to Cooper as a throbbing pain bounded through her head with all the recent developments. Cooper gave her a run down, keeping his voice low. 

He knew little of the people here, they wouldn’t give any details. Not surprising. What he did know was it appeared to be a family, with some children. Although he wasn’t completely sure how many. The man glaring at the back of their heads, had allowed Cooper to tend to Kate, only after he’d given up their gear and he’d locked them both in the old control room. It had been several hours since they’d narrowly escaped blowing away like that sentry bot. Kate felt the color drain from her face as that memory flitted back to her mind's eye. What a fucking trip that was. Those things were heavy. But it floated off like tumbleweed. 

The winds still ripped around the building, and showed no signs of stopping anytime soon. From time to time the screaming of a tornado encircling them filled the air, setting everyone on edge. After a few more hours, and a few more doses of med-x and some more stimpaks, she was finally able to breathe a bit more comfortably. The throbbing in her head had begun to fade, allowing her to keep her eyes open. 

Now that she was finally able to assess the damage, she realized how fucking rough she looked. Her jacket had been removed, leaving her in worn and loose tee-shirt, her arms bare. Her bloody fingers ran over the yellowed circles scattered across her arms. Bruising from the hail, already healing. She spread her aching fingers out before her, the nails jagged and split. No amount of mutated ghoul DNA or stimpaks would heal that. She’d just have to wait until they re-grew, and that was gonna suck. 

She took Cooper by surprise as she pushed off the floor, dragging herself up on the fencing.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The man growled at her.

“I just need to stand,” she held a hand out to Cooper as he scrambled to help her, attempting to push him away, “I can do it.” He left his hand out for her in case she’d need it.

But she’d managed. Had to stretch her muscles or she’d lock up. While her injuries did heal quicker, she still needed to put in some work, just like any other human would when pushing their bodies to such extremes.

Cooper watched as she gingerly paced the cage. Her aching joints crunched as she rolled them, not from recent injury but a result of the havoc she’d put her body through over the years. It was a miracle they didn’t bother her more. Only when she was sedentary for too long.

She glanced over at the man still glowering at her.

“What’s your name,” she asked, leaning her forehead into the chain link fence.

No response, he just stared at her, but Cooper perked up, coming to stand beside her, giving her a look. Communicating via their own unspoken language they’d developed over the years out here.

“How’d you get out here,” Cooper drawled, taking over the line of questioning.

“Just like you, with my two fucking feet.”

“Where’d you come from?” Kate yanked the metaphorical reigns from Cooper’s hands. Her tone far softer than his.The guy gave her nothing though.

“So you some kinda nut job? Dragging a couple kids out into tornado alley,” Cooper cocked a brow at him. Kate narrowed her eyes at Cooper.

“Don’t you dare talk about my kids,” he seethed. Got ‘em.

“Oh Really? What kind of father brings a couple kids out into this hellhole?” Cooper spit.

“We didn’t have a choice!”

“Daddy of the year, everyone” Cooper taunted, clapping.

“Cooper,” Kate scolded him.

“Better that than a life of slavery!”

Ah.

Her hand pressed into Cooper’s chest as she cut him a chastising look, he rolled his eyes at her. “You’re from Texas then?” She cut in, voice softening. 

He nodded. A tiny, rattling cough broke through the silence.

“Momma,” a tiny voice groaned, broken and hoarse. Kate’s brow furrowed as she watched the man before her, his face filling with panic as he moved towards the tiny voice. 

“It’s okay baby,” their mother’s soothing voice was laced with despair as the child broke into a coughing fit, “Terry, he needs water.”

The man, Terry, gave Kate a look as he went digging through her bag, pulling out a half full bottle of water. She nodded to him, giving him permission to take what he needed. Although he certainly wasn’t looking for permission.

“Momma,” another soft voice called, this one stronger. A girl. Her voice filled with just as much despair as her mothers. “Is Ryder gonna be ok?” 

Her mother hushed her, but didn’t answer her question. Terry disappeared around the shelves. Kate exchanged a glance with Cooper, gently tapping his chest. As if to say, “ good job, but I got it from here big guy.”  

When Terry returned, he was pale, exhausted and nervous.

“How long you been out here Terry?” She fell into that gentle, almost southern accent she’d picked up over the years. Her fingers laced through the fence as she turned to face him fully, her head tilting to the side. Cooper leaned his shoulder against the fence, watching her work. Her eyes shifted back to his when Terry’s head dropped. A barely noticeable smile played at Cooper’s lips.

“Too long,” Terry sighed. 

“Where ya headin’?” 

“We were going to keep pushing West, but the storms were on us too quick. Haven’t eased up long enough to move and Ryder…”

He didn’t need to elaborate. The kid was sick. In no position to be out here.

“How’d you get in here? That terminal outside wasn’t exactly beginner friendly.”

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“Oh come on honey, you expect me to believe a slave has a lot of experience hacking terminals?” She quirked a brow at him, a grin spreading across her face.

“Never said I was a slave,” he quirked a brow at her in return, a cocky smile playing on his face, ”and it wasn’t that hard.”

She gave him an impressed nod of her head. His smile grew, smug as could be. Perfect. 

“Did robot repair in a settlement down south,” he continued without prompting, just as she knew he would. They always did. “Small place, not too far out from a racing arena. Until we were hit by passing slave traders. They tried to take us, but I managed to get a couple of the robots we had undergoing repairs switched on to help our assaultron. They fought them off long enough for us to run. Traders had bots of their own, but it was enough for us to get away.” He grew somber, clearing his throat as he looked away from her. He rested his shotgun across his thighs, leaning over it while he wrung his hands.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” she offered, no longer feigning her sincerity. While she may not have fully understood it, these people became attached to their bots. For some of them, they were like family. 

He gave her a tight smile, but kept his eyes locked onto his family.

Cooper and Kate turned away from him, swapping another glance before sitting back down on the floor. Kate winced pulling her head away from where she’d pressed it into the fence, forgetting her cracked skull. Cooper held out an arm to her, offering a soft place to rest her head on. She scooted over, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her, bringing her in close to him. 

“You shouldn’t have been so harsh,” she murmured, just loud enough for Terry to hear. 

“Need to get you out of here,” he murmured into her hair, “Just got me on edge.”

How fuckin’ sweet. 

He looked down at her, his voice lowering as he tipped her chin up to him, “really fucked you up, I’m sorry.”

“Coulda been worse,” she sighed as he dropped her chin, her head burying into his chest more.

They sat there, cuddled up to each other like a couple of lovebirds, waiting.

After a few minutes, feet shuffled behind them, followed by murmuring. Too low for Kate’s ears to pick up. Her eyes narrowed a bit as she looked up at Cooper. His eyes slid to hers, the corners of his mouth tipping up slightly. Giving her a barely perceivable nod.

“I have a deal for you,” Terry all too confidently called over from behind them.

______________

“Clear the bunker underneath, and you’re free to go.”

“Deal,” Kate cut in before Cooper had the chance to genuinely decline that fucking offer. 

Cooper gave her a glare, if he’d had nostrils, they’d be flaring. 

Terry had no fucking clue what was hiding down there. He’d opened the hatch door in the ground, heard shuffling, and decided it was too much of a risk. Kate had just been body slammed into a cement floor after being crushed between a terminal and Cooper’s body. She was in no shape to be trudging off into the unknown. 

They coulda figured out another way. Waited til Terry was asleep, worked at the hinges of the gate. Something. They had gotten out of some pretty dicey situations before. But it was done. Cooper could object, but he’d completely throw off this whole “happy couple just trying to survive” ruse they had going. It only worked if he seemed completely wrapped around her finger. Which he certainly was not.

Cooper helped Kate back into her still damp coat, the movements causing her to wince. She was too hurt for this.

“You stay behind me down there,” he whispered into her ear, “and fucking listen.”

“You could at least say please,” she wheezed out in pain as she gingerly straightened her coat.

He leveled her a look and she gave him a strained smile in return. That smart mouth of hers…

Terry and his wife led them over to the hatch, hidden in the corner the kids had been sleeping in. They tucked them behind some stacked boxes and stood before them, blocking them from Kate and Cooper’s view. But he did catch a flash of a small, too thin, pale face. 

He looked back up to Terry who gave Cooper a surprisingly intimidating glare. Despite his baited comments earlier, he had to admit, the man seemed like a good father. 

They stared down into the hatch as inky blackness greeted them. Too dark for Kate to see in. 

“Tossed your shit down there. Bang on the hatch when you’re done. I’m locking it behind you,” Terry stood just behind them, motioning down into the hole with his shotgun. 

Kate shifted a moment, as if she were going to bend, but hesitated, her teeth gritting.

“Sit on the edge, slide down to me,” Cooper instructed as he stepped to the edge. For once she didn’t argue. Not a great sign. 

He hopped down to the stone flooring below, dust crunching under his as he landed in a crouch, staying low as her surveyed the room. As far as he could see, there was nothing in here. At all. The room was completely empty. No shuffling to be heard. Whatever Terry heard, wasn’t here now. 

He looked up to find Kate’s legs dangling down through the hatch. She jolted a little as he grasped her calf, likely not able to see him clad in black down here. He gently tugged, sliding his hands up her legs as she slid down. She hissed as his hands slid over her ribs, dropping her head into his shoulder as he set her to the floor. The hatch closed behind them, taking away the last bit of light, the darkness swallowing them.

As soon as her feet were steady on the floor, she dropped down, feeling for her gun. Fully locked in, as if she had no pain at all. But as he crouched down to hand it to her, able to see it lying just to the side of her hand, he could see it in her face. In the way she pinched her mouth into a tight line, her nose flaring ever so slightly as she took shallow breaths. She tucked her gun into her holster and reached into her bag that she’d managed to find on her own. She shuffled through what sounded like boxes in there before pulling out a flashlight. How much shit did she have in that damn thing?

Cooper helped her strap her shotgun over her back as she slung her shoulder over her back. Before she walked off, her squeezed her shoulders, leaning down to her ear.

“Don’t wander,” Cooper reminded her, but she didn’t seem like she was going to perform any disappearing acts tonight.

“Think this let’s out to that other building?” She murmured as he stepped past her. 

“Bet it hooks over to where that sentry bot was.”

They moved to the doorway, guns drawn. Kate held the flashlight up next to her gun, but kept it off. Falling in line behind Cooper as he cleared rooms.

Many of them were empty, only the heavy furniture left in them. Everything else stripped bare. The locked rooms seemed relatively untouched though. Kate had made quick work picking the locks.The first one they came across stored the broken generator. They stepped into the room shutting the door behind them before Kate flipped on her flashlight, looking over the broken generator. Pulling the fusion core out, inspecting it.

“Fusion core still has some life to it,” she held it as her eyes shifted back to the generator,“could probably get it up and running.”

“No point. Ain’t the place to stick around for long. Once that storm clears, we leave.”

“I know,” she replied, clearly lost in thought as she continued to inspect the machine. She opened panels and rummaged around in them before sighing and packing the fusion core into her bag. They moved on, clearing more largely empty rooms, old bunk rooms. The next locked room they came across had a decent stash of supplies, food, and some ammo. 

Before they could start loading up their bags, a scratching sound came from behind them. They both spun around, aiming for the doorway, the scratching was joined with hissing as it grew closer. Cooper stepped out into the hall, opening fire on the mole rats scurrying through the hall. Kate hung in the doorway, letting Cooper clear the vermin, but they just kept coming. Eventually she joined in too, turning her flashlight on as she took aim. It wasn’t difficult but shit there were a lot of them. When all was said and done, they picked off at least twenty five wrinkly bastards.

Once they’d cleared the supply room, they followed the trail of mole rat carcasses, finding where all the shit in this place had gone. A large room, filled to the brim with junk. Looked like a damn mole rat mansion. And fuck did it smell pungent. 

Cooper toed an overturned cardboard box as he aimed. Sure enough, a mole rat shot out from beneath it. Cooper put it down before it even had a chance to squeal at him.

“Gross,” Kate pinched her face at its wrinkly, bald body as she stepped into the room. 

A rustling in the center of the room had them both looking up at the giant mound of junk before them. Suddenly, a gaggle of mole rats sprung from the pile, shooting towards them, followed by their broodmother. It took a few minutes, but they cleared the den without much incident. 

The rest of the bunker wasn’t hiding much for surprises, but it turned out to be a decent set up. Bunkrooms, a kitchen, some old offices. Hardly the military operation they were expecting. 

Eventually, they reached a dead end. To their left was another door, locked by a master level terminal. Above them, a hatch. 

Kate eyed the terminal, shifting her eyes back to Cooper, giving him a grin, “whaddya think they got hiding in there?” 

“Not that I’m doubting your skills here honey, but you did just let a sentry bot out on us. And there ain’t not twister to save our asses this time.” Add that to the list of things Cooper would have never expected to say. That list had gotten damn long since the bombs dropped. Weird fucking place this world had become. 

“But it might be good,” she lilted, tilting her head, trying to entice him into letting her look.

Cooper rolled his eyes at her. “Let me take a look up there first,” he motioned to the hatch, “make sure we can make a clean break.”

She grinned even wider as she clapped her hands a little. The woman couldn’t just leave a locked terminal be, had to get practice in any chance she got. 

Cooper popped his head through the hatch. A room, similar to the one they’d found Terry’s family in, but a bit smaller. Empty other than an old shelf and a terminal. The world above sounded much quieter than when they’d dropped into the hatch. 

“Storms cleared,” he called down to her, “we don’t got time.”

“I’m doing it,” she called up as he heard the clicking of keys. 

“Goddammit Kate,” he scolded her as he dropped down and pointed his gun at the locked door. “I’m throwing you up there if shit goes south.”

She hummed absentmindedly as she focused in on the terminal, wincing as she typed. Her fingers looked pretty bad. Crusted with blood, bruises, nails split. Cooper’s fingers ached just watching her. 

“Got it,” she beamed as she selected the door control, drawing her gun and pointing it at the door as she hit enter. Turning on her flashlight as the door slid open. She gasped at the tall, dark, metallic figure standing a few feet in the room. A fucking assaultron. Cooper shot towards her, picking her up by the waist. He was about to toss her up through the hatch when she yelled out.

“Wait! It’s deactivated! Don’t throw me again!” 

He looked over his shoulder to see that she was right. It didn’t move, didn’t power up, just stood there. 

Kate started smacking his arm, flailing, “put me down!” 

He gently placed her back down onto the ground as she gritted her teeth. When she landed, her hand flew to the wall and she leaned into it, groaning, “oh that hurt so fucking bad.”

“Sorry honey. Didn’t feel like watching you get sliced and diced,” he grimaced at her, feeling a bit guilty about hurting her again. He turned as she composed herself, cautiously heading towards the room. Behind the assaultron were a variety of bots, lining the walls. A terminal sat at the far end of the room on a desk.

Kate stepped up beside him, taking in the room before she looked up at Cooper giving him a pleading look.

“No,” he said firmly. “Those things power up while you’re in there and it's game over. Ain’t no way I am getting you out of there.” She fucking knew that. He knew she was smart enough to know it was foolish, but it was like she needed him to say it outloud. Like her fucking pride couldn’t let her leave well enough alone.

“Fine,” she sighed. Even she wasn’t crazy enough for that shit. 

Finally, they exited through the hatch, popping into the room above. Through the dirty window, they could see clear, blue skies. A gentle breeze blew some dust up, but no signs of the tornados that had hunted them. They had to move now.

“You ready?” Cooper said heading for the door.

“Yeah,” Kate said, but she definitely didn’t sound like she was ready. Definitely sounded like she had more to say. She always had more to fucking say. 

He turned back to her, his hand resting on his hips as he leaned on one leg, “spit it out.”

“It’s just,” she sighed, “that kid was sick. Really sick. He’s gonna die, Cooper.”

“Yup, and there ain’t shit we can do about it. That’s life.”

“You aren’t that cold,” she crossed her arms over her chest, leaning on one hip, matching his passive aggressive energy. “I could get that generator going, they could stay down-“

“No, don’t even go there,” he cut her off with a wave of his hand. “We ain’t got time for saving the fucking day. They’ll figure it out or they won’t.” He ended the conversation, turning for the door again.

“Cooper!” She stomped her foot, “That little girl is going to watch her brother die. And then when it happens to her, she’s going to know what’s coming.” He turned back to look at her. She was all worked up, giving him a glare that promised a whole world of hell if she didn’t get her way.

“How long you think you’ll need?” He sighed, shaking his head.

“A day, maybe two,” she shrugged and said it in a way that left him utterly unconvinced.

“We may not get a clearing like this again.”

Her face softened as she looked at him imploringly. How the hell was he supposed to argue with her when she looked at him like that?

He sighed, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. This was a bad fucking idea, but she was right, that kid was going to die. And that wasn’t his problem, but somehow she was making him feel like it fucking was. “Two days. No more.”

The smile she gave him was so damn genuine, he felt a bit of his cold heart melting. How was this woman so damn kind? She wasn’t a good person, neither was he. But, she was kind. No matter what this life had thrown at her, she somehow retained some semblance of a bleeding heart. After over 200 years doing this shit, it was something he’d lost completely. Had lost his within a year of being out here. Easier to handle it all that way. But, after all these years, she’d still managed to keep a hold on hers. Must have driven her fucking mad, all the death and destruction and suffering. Cooper gave her a small smile in return before heading out the door.

They cut across the desert to the building Terry’s family was still locked in. Kate stepped up to the terminal, working at the password again. As she hit the enter key, a squeaking came from behind them. They turned to find the god damn sentry bot, rolling around in circles the distance. One tread bent backwards and it’s gun missing. Practically hobbling through the desert.

“Shit, those things can take a beating,” Cooper said in disbelief. 

Kate chuckled at the strange site as she hit enter again, sliding the door open. Terry stood in the doorway, greeting them with the barrel of his shotgun.

“What the fuck?” He asked in confusion.

Kate gave him a little wave and he lowered his gun. “Look who we found,” she exclaimed as she turned and held her arms up to the sentry bot lost in the distance.

Chapter Text

Two days came and went and Kate was still struggling with the damn generator. In her defense, she hadn’t given herself a chance to recuperate. Cooper had tried to get her to rest, but she’d insisted on jumping right into work. 

“You’re gonna burn yourself out.”

“No I won’t.”

He resisted the nagging urge to tell her he was right as he leaned in the door, watching her fall asleep sitting up, after a particularly violent assault she’d unleashed on the generator. She’d been working on it for endless hours, but it was giving her a hell of a time. With her ribs barely healed, she wasn’t able to work nearly as fast as she normally would. A lot of the work required her to be on the ground, something that she didn’t seem to be able to tolerate for very long. But she was insistent she could do it. Said she didn’t need his help no matter how many times he’d offered. So Cooper had left her to her work.

Instead he’d helped Terry wrangle and repair the sentry bot. Thing was a hunk of junk. Took them hours to get the treads off the broken axle. But it was better than being stuck in the bunker. Ryder had perked up quickly with some food, water, and stimpaks. Boy did that kid have energy. Ran circles around that place like a damn tornado himself. Reminded him of Janey, she would always bounce back just as fast from illness. Nothing kept that little ball of energy down for long. God he missed her.

Not now.

Had to keep himself busy, keep his mind on something else other than how much he wished the last 215 years never happened. So interim robot mechanic became his newest role. 

But he kept checking on Kate throughout the day. Each time he found her she looked more tired and more pissed. Now, she was just exhausted. He watched as she curled into a ball on the dirty floor, completely unaware of him leaning in the doorway. He stepped over to her, crouching down and scooping her into his arms.

“No,” she weakly protested, “I was just getting somewhere with it.”

“Bullying it into submission gettin’ you far?”

“You heard that?” she wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head against his chest, completely giving up.

“Think you may have really expanded those kids' vocabulary,” he chuckled as he pushed her through the door to the room he’d claimed for them. Barely had a chance to get it cleaned, but he’d managed to set a bedroll up for them. She was snoring before he’d even laid her down. He’d stayed with her to ensure she actually slept, wrapped her up in his arms for good measure. He awoke a few hours later to find that she’d somehow weaseled out of his hold and made her way back to her work. He coulda dragged her back, but it wouldn't have done any good, she’d just sneak her way back to that generator until it was fixed. So he dropped off some food and let her be. 

On day three, he found her leaning over the generator, staring. 

“I don’t fucking get it,” she said hopelessly as she turned to look at him over her shoulder. God she was tired. Dark circles had formed under her eyes, standing out against her wan face. She dragged her hand over her face, in a futile attempt to wipe away the exhaustion as she turned back to the generator and started tracing wires with her wrench. “It’s all right. Everything is where it should be, all intact. I’ve replaced nearly every fucking wire in this thing. I can’t tell where the power failure is coming from.”

“Maybe it can’t be fixed.”

“Everything can be fixed.” 

No. Some things couldn’t be fixed. This world was more than enough proof of that. How did she still have blind hope after all these years? 

She pulled out the fusion core she’d replaced, inspecting it again. Seemingly finding nothing wrong with it, but her eyes widened as she turned back to the generator. She set the core down on top of the generator, flipping on her flashlight shining it down in the battery chamber. “Oh my fucking god,” she groaned, her hand smacking her forehead, “the fucking battery contact is rusted.”

As much as he wanted her to be done with this, he really hoped the answer hadn’t been staring her in the face the whole time. That was gonna hurt her pride. 

She rushed over to the pile of spare parts she’d found or stripped from other rooms, pulling out a new contact. When she had the new one installed, she slid the fusion core back in, twisting it into place. The generator whirled to life, the lights of the bunker blinking on one at a time. 

Kate rubbed her temples as she stared at the generator looking defeated, on the verge of tears, despite her victory. “I am an idiot,” she grumbled as Cooper approached her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back into his chest. Her hands wrapped around his arms as she leaned back into him, her body slackening in his hold. 

“No you ain’t. It’s been a long few days,” he murmured as he pressed a kiss to her head. “Think of it this way, they won’t have to do any maintenance on this thing for the next century.” She huffed out a pathetic laugh as he started turning her towards the door, but she pushed out of his hold. 

“Let me check that the water purifier’s working,” she hurried off to the corner of the room, looking over her next project. He rolled his eyes, resisting the urge to drag her out of there. It was pointless, she wasn’t going to rest until she had this sorted out. 

By the end of the day, Kate had the purifier pumping out some of the cleanest damn water he’d ever drank. Even pre-war. When she finally emerged from the boiler room, she looked so damn tired he’d thought she was going to collapse right there in the hall. She didn’t even fight him when he scooped her up and carried her off to their room.

______________________

Kate awoke hungry, hungry for him. It felt like an eternity since they’d last been together. In reality it had been a week tops, but the times they had been together since the vault were rushed. Still fun, but not what she desperately craved. That craving had been so easy to ignore when she was tired, dirty, and feeling generally unsexy. 

But he’d fixed all of that. While she’d worked on that damn generator, he’d checked on her. Fed her, made her rest. Offered any help he could. Even when she’d pushed him away in frustration, he came back. He always came back to her. 

When she’d finally finished her work, she was so tired the floor swayed with each step. Just when she thought she was going to fall, he’d been there to catch her. He’d carried her back to their room. A room he’d cleaned and set up just for them. He’d held her in the shower, washed her, not daring to touch her sexually. Had gently untangled her mess of curls. Had even washed her spare clothes so she had something clean to sleep in. It wouldn’t have been safe for both of them to abandon their weapons in sleep, not with others around. So he’d dressed and kept his pistol on him, despite how uncomfortable that had to have been to lay down in. She’d already been asleep, curled in his jacket that he’d covered her with, when he’d settled down beside her, wrapping her in his arms and chasing away the chill of the bunker. A thought had popped into her head when she was drifting between waking and consciousness. This is what it felt like to be cared for.

And now, lying atop a soft mattress, wrapped safely in his arms, her back pressed into his chest. With the scent of him, the feel of him, enveloping her senses, she just couldn’t resist her cravings any longer. Her palm drifted along his bare forearm where it rested around her waist as she gently pushed her ass into him. The warmth of him seeping further into her skin, intensifying her desire. He roused from sleep, inhaling deeply as he pulled her in closer to him.The already hardened length of him pushing back into her.

“Were you dreaming of me?” she whispered, turning her head towards him, watching as his eyes drifted open. His hand came up to cradle her face, his lips nearly brushing her own.

“Been dreaming of you for years,” he murmured with an intensity that told her he wasn't exaggerating, before their lips met in a tender kiss. A kiss that felt like another one of their unspoken conversations. So much conveyed, but no words ever uttered.  

She reached behind her, slipping her hand beneath the waistband of his pants, taking him into her hand. Stroking him lazily as she appreciated the feel of him. The soft ridges of him gliding against her skin as he grew impossibly harder. He fit so perfectly in her hold.

When he couldn’t take her teasing any longer, he slid his hand down her side, sliding her panties down her legs as she shimmied out of them. He hastily freed himself from his pants, hissing in a sharp breath as his cock brushed against the softness of her. Her breath hitched as his hand slid back down her thigh and hooked around her knee while his other arm shifted below her, leaning her back onto him more. The cool air licking her exposed center as he spread her wide, draping her leg over him.

His fingers trailed up her inner thigh. Tracing up to the sensitive skin where her thigh met her hip, drawing lazy circles in the flesh there. Drawing little whimpers from her, her hips twitching, hoping to bring him closer to where she wanted him. Torturing her just as much as she had tortured him, making her so fucking wet despite barely touching her. Mercifully, two fingers delved down her center, swirling her arousal around her clit, pulling a soft sigh from her before drifting down to her entrance. 

“Seems like you been dreamin’ of me too, sweetheart.” 

She gasped as his fingers plunged into her, her head falling back into the pillow as her eyes fluttered shut. His fingers curled inside her, pumping in waves that stole her breath away.

When her eyes drifted open again, she found him drinking her in as his fingers worked her, massaging that spot that made her come undone completely. Watching the faces she made for him, because of him.

Chuckling as she whimpered in protest when he removed himself from her, holding his slickened fingers up as they glistened in the candlelight.

“Musta been a real good dream,” he murmured as he brought his fingers to her lips. “Open,” he ordered, pressing his fingers into her mouth, pushing down on her tongue as she obeyed, “Suck.” Her cheeks hollowed, tongue swirling around his fingers, enjoying the taste of her on his skin as he gazed at her with pride. “Good girl,” the growl of his voice reverberating through his chest against her back. His praise had her whimpering around his fingers, grinding her ass against his shaft, desperate for him. He pulled his fingers from her with a plop , shifting to bring his cock to her entrance. Eyes locked on her as he slid in drawing a harsh gasp from her, stretching her so fucking perfectly, inch by inch.

“You feel better than in my dreams,” she groaned softly.

He grinned, his own breath hitching, his teeth gritting as she rolled her hips, “Can’t say I disagree.”

She reached her hand up, resting it on his cheek as his arm hooked around her knee, holding her leg up, sinking into her deeper. Fucking her lazily, enjoying the journey instead of racing to the finish line. Both trying their best to stifle their moans of pleasure as he drove into her while she met his thrusts. 

This was something she didn’t think they would have again. Four days ago, she thought she was going to be ripped from his arms, thrown to an assuredly painful death. But here they were, alive, together. How was she ever going to let this go?

Pressure built low in her, her moans growing louder. Cooper silenced her with his mouth upon hers, struggling to stay quiet just as much as she was. He was close. Her fingers slipped down between her thighs, sliding through the mess he’d made of her, bringing her even closer to the precipice. Allowing the pressure to build upon itself, only letting go when the pressure was too intense for her to deny. Nearly crying as her body was overtaken completely by the shockwaves of her orgasm as he spilled into her, groaning into their kiss.

They laid there lingering in the post orgasm buzz, wrapped in each other. His hand now massaging her bare thigh, soothing her twitching nerves as exhaustion weighed heavy in her limbs again. As she faded off once more, wrapped in his hold, another thought popped into her head.

This is what falling had felt like.  

When she awoke again he was gone. A pang of disappointment ran through her. She’d just had a lovely dream of him and had really hoped to play that one out. Another time, then.  She pulled  his worn jacket up to her face, breathing in the scent of him and blocking out some of the chill. Waking to the smell of him had become such a comfort over the last few weeks. A reminder that she wasn’t on her own. At least for the time being… Not now. No point in going there yet, they still had time. She was going to enjoy this while she could. 

Eventually, she mustered the courage to face the cold, pushing herself to sit on the side of the bed. She’d been so tired when he’d brought her back here, she hadn’t realized how much he’d done. Her .44 sat on the end table beside her, cleaned and polished to perfection. After hours of being blasted by sand, it needed a thorough clean. She’d meant to clean it earlier. Didn’t need it locking up on her. Then the generator had taken all her attention. Her clean clothes were folded in a neat pile on the shabby dresser. Even her boots looked cleaner than when she’d taken them off. Honestly, they looked cleaner than they had in years. This man…

This was a feeling she could get used to.

As she finished dressing, the light beneath the door shifted. The sounds of tiny feet pattering down the hall dragging her from her thoughts of him. There were two tiny voices bounding down the hall, laughing. 

She slowly opened the door, peeking out around just in time to catch two tiny bodies running into the doorway across the hall. Both looking far stronger than the last time she’d seen them. Ryder had looked inches from death when they brought him down. Faith was better than him, but not by much. She’d been just days away from circling the drain herself. 

A moment later, Elena, their mother, appeared, chasing after them. “Ready or not, here I-,” she stopped short as she saw Kate in the doorway. “Oh, you’re awake.”

Kate gave her a tight smile, “he looks better.”

“Much better, can’t keep him in one place for long now,” she sighed and leaned against the wall next to her, brushing her auburn hair out of her exhausted looking eyes. She was young, couldn’t have been more than 25, but the lines in her face and pops of gray in her hair made her look older. “I’ve been trying to get this place set up, but they’re not making it easy. I’m terrified they’re gonna find a way to open the hatches and sneak off. But I shouldn’t complain. Thank you, by the way. This place is far better than what we could have expected.”

Kate nodded, “Have you seen…” Did these people know his name? Did he want them to know his name? Calling him The Ghoul seemed a bit ridiculous in this situation.  

Thankfully, Elena picked up on her hesitation, “he’s up top, with Terry. They’re trying to get the sentry bot in working order before you two head off. Keeps saying it's ‘almost done’, but I don’t believe him anymore. Wish he would have worked on the damn assaultron first. I could use a nanny at this point.”

“Need any help?” Kate offered.

“You’ve already done too much,” Elena began to decline her offer.

“Don’t be silly. Let me help while I’m here. I like to stay busy.”

“Fine, but let me feed you first.”

The kids bounced around the little dining room they’d set up in the kitchen. The place was really coming together. Elena had gotten most of the particularly unsanitary areas of the bunker washed down, but her work was disjointed. Little areas had been worked on, likely all she could do as she kept the kids out of trouble. 

Ryder and Faith were two balls of energy. Elena had told her that Ryder was three, although he was malnourished enough that it was hard to believe. Faith was four, and had quite the personality on her. Both with messy, auburn hair like their mother. They sat with Kate as she ate a can of cram, both munching away on some snack cakes as Elena fixed them a meal. Kate would be willing to bet the stash of cakes would be gone by the end of the week given how these two were scarfing them down.

“Are you a cowgirl?” Faith asked with her mouth full, crumbs falling onto the table before her.

“No,” Kate giggled, “I just like the hat.”

“Is that man a cowboy?” 

“I think he might be,” Kate mused, “Even has a lasso.”

“He’s grumpy,” Faith observed, bluntly. A girl after her own heart. 

“Faith,” Elena chided.

Kate chuckled, waving off Elena.

“Yeah, he kind of is,” Kate shrugged. The kid wasn’t wrong. Kate wasn’t sure if it was just him or if he was that way by design. He was capable of being kind. Was plenty kind to Kate. But that kindness didn’t seem to extend to anyone else. 

“If he’s so grumpy, why do you like him?”

Kate choked on her piece of cram. Not ready to run through the laundry list of reasons for why she liked the man.

“Faith, enough,” Elena shot her a look, sparing Kate. 

“Did you glue your hats on?”

“What?” Kate gave her a puzzled look.

Faith pointed at her hat atop her head, “why didn’t it fly away in the wind?”

Kate chuckled, taking her hat off and plopping it onto Faith’s head. It fell in front of her eyes, too big for her tiny head. Her little, sticky hand pushed the brim of the hat up, revealing her beaming smile. Kate raised her brows at her, giving her a grin, waving her hands, “magic.”

Ryder took a giant gulp of water before sliding off his chair as the sugar rush hit him. Running speedy circles around the table, nearly hitting the corner, setting Kate on edge. The kid just narrowly escaped dying of starvation, she didn’t feel like watching him sustain a head injury. After five minutes of him running like a mad man, giving Kate a series of heart attacks as she watched him, she was starting to get dizzy. 

Elena was working at heating up some food for the kids on the stove. She looked frazzled. There was a lot that still needed to be done and these kids were growing restless of their new home. Kate felt a bit guilty with how much rest she’d gotten when this woman was clearly struggling out here. 

As Ryder rounded the table again his head almost slammed directly into the corner. A corner that she had convinced herself was sharp enough to take the kids eye out, but she managed to grab him just in time. Unfortunately, she scared the shit out of the kid and he’d descended into a crying fit. Elena sighed, slamming the spoon down onto the counter as she was pulled from her work, “Ryder, you need to calm down.” 

“Sorry,” Kate cringed as she handed over the terrified youngster. Heading to the stove to take over for Elena. 

“Don’t be,” Elena cradled his little body against hers, swaying back and forth, “he’s a lot. Used to spend his days running around outside. This is a change. He’ll get used to it…hopefully.”

Kate didn’t know the kid, but given what she’d seen, she had a hard time believing that. Any child would have a tough time down here. Anyone would really. Heck, she’d gotten restless in the confines of her settlement. She couldn’t imagine spending her childhood in a bunker. But they were stuck here, at least until the kids were strong enough to push out. Even then, it may not be worth the risk. 

“I can go work on clearing out the den, see if I can find anything else to keep them entertained.”

“That would be amazing,” she sighed, “Terry said he would get to it, but he’s been so tied up with the sentry bot he hasn’t had a chance. I love the man, but he gets so caught up with those damn bots.”

Motherhood seemed so lonely. She’d seen it many times before. Mothers being left to care for the children while the men went off and worked on something they deemed more important. With no consideration of how difficult raising children was. How much it took from someone. Raising children truly did take a village. That was part of the beauty of Kingsport. The responsibilities were shared, even caring for the children. A true community. 

Even with the safety net of her community, Kate couldn’t imagine having children of her own. She kind of sucked at the whole kid thing, as evidenced by the wailing child before her. Even though she’d been around plenty of children growing up, she didn’t have a mothering bone in her body. Had always thought she’d be a real fun aunt, but definitely not a mother. 

It was a good thing she likely couldn’t have kids. Logically, her body shouldn’t be able to reproduce. Even if her DNA was normal, the amount of rad exposure she’d put herself through would have likely left her unable to carry a child. It helped, not having to worry about getting pregnant. Allowed her to enjoy herself a bit more. Her sex life back home had been decent. She’d fallen into bed with plenty of men, and women throughout her time traveling the commonwealth. Women were easier, no concerns of pregnancy there, but they didn’t do it for her like men did. With men, she’d taken what precautions she could, just in case, but they were fairly rudimentary. The pullout method seemed to work wonders for her. There’d only been one time in her life she’d been truly afraid she was pregnant. During the first few months she was out here. 

When her and John had finally taken that step in their relationship, all caution had gone to the wind. If anyone would have gotten her pregnant, it would have been him. It had been six years of denying themselves, not wanting to ruin their friendship. Once they crossed that line, they’d completely lost their damn minds. Burned brighter than the goddamn sun for each other. Just as she’d said they would. She’d fucking told him it would be too much.

It had been such a casual conversation they’d had. In a fucking bar of all places. She was maybe twenty, twenty-one. Both ended up in the same place that night. Their friendship formed over years of nights like that. Both in the same place, gravitating towards each other, regardless of who else was there. At first, they’d tried to fight the pull, but eventually they gave in. Pretty quickly that man had felt like another half to her soul. That happened well before the sex. 

Kate had been drinking with Tommy and Rory in between jobs. Kate lounged on a couch while the other two sat in some arm chairs across from her. Rory had just wiped the floor with them after a round of cards. Tommy swore up and down that he’d cheated, and Kate’s ego was badly bruised from the loss. But her sour mood had quickly changed when he came strolling through the door. 

“John, you motherfucker! Where have you been?” She shot up from the couch as she shouted over the crowd. No one even batted an eye at her, they were used to it at this point. When the two of them were together, the rest of the world faded from existence.

He beamed as he zeroed in on her, giving her that fucking smile that made all her problems fade away. He looked a bit disheveled, hadn’t shaved in a few days, but that wasn’t all that uncommon for him. His sandy waves were tied back under his backwards Red Sox cap. A real collectible according to Moe Cronin. The man had offered John anything in his stash in exchange for that hat, but he never gave it up. No better show to watch while enjoying a bowl of noodles. John, the asshole that he was, always made Moe think he had a chance. Hung onto his every word, pretending to fall for the sales pitch. But Kate knew he’d never actually give it up. He was protective over the damn thing. Didn’t even let people touch it, too paranoid someone would try and snatch it.

As John made his way over, someone placed a beer in his hand, clearly eager to get the party started. When he showed up, everyone knew it was gonna be a good night. He stopped before her, dragging her into an embrace that lifted her feet off the floor. 

“Been working sunshine,” the corners of his crystal blue eyes crinkled as his smile widened. “Told you, I’m getting you a ring so massive you won’t be able to pick that pretty little hand up. That takes time.” A running joke they’d played into. People had been telling them to get together for years. He’d asked for her hand in marriage, usually very publicly, more times than she could count. While everyone knew he was kidding, she also kind of knew he’d marry her if she ever said yes. 

“Bullshit,” she laughed as he placed her back down onto the ground. They sat back on the couch, her legs swinging up, resting across his lap. “I haven’t known you to hold a job for more than a week.”

“Ain’t my fault these places don’t appreciate my hard work,” he scoffed. “You want to keep me around for longer, throw me a bone. Give me a job honey.”

“Fuck no,” she held a palm up to him, stopping that crazy idea, “I don’t feel like having to fire you. Might make things awkward. So, what was her name?” He had that look all over him. Like he’d just burned himself out on another fling. 

“I wouldn’t hold it against ya,” he squeezed her knee, giving her a wink as she jolted. “And I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

She leveled him a look. 

He gave her a slanted grin as he rolled his eyes, “I think it was Tanya.”

“She sounds awful.”

“I didn’t even tell you about her.”

“I already know enough,” she mused. 

“When are you two just going to get it over with and fuck?” Tommy groaned, all to familiar with their little game.

“You think I haven’t tried, brother? She loves to watch a man suffer.”

He hadn’t really tried all that hard. If he had, she would have folded years ago. Other than his impeccable personality, the man was fucking hot. Shorter than what she usually went for, maybe an inch taller than her, but his personality made him larger than life. And she’d seen him streaking plenty of times to know his body did it for her. 

The rest of the night had been like any other night they’d spent together. Filled with laughter, dancing, debauchery, some friendly body shots, and a lot of nicotine. They partied hard together, really got the people going. It worked out for everyone. 

Eventually they’d ended up alone, like always. Sitting in a couple chairs on the porch of the bar, enjoying the summer night, passing a cigarette between the two of them. The last one they had between them. 

“Why haven’t we fucked,” John blurted before taking a sip of his beer, keeping his eyes on her while he drank. Looking at her as if it was such a casual question.

Kate sucked in a sharp inhale of smoke, as she leaned her elbows on her knee. Giving him a look as she passed him the cigarette, watching him through the plume of smoke she exhaled.

“It’s a bad idea.” she shook her head, biting back a smile.

“I think it sounds like a great idea.”

“I have no doubt you do.”

“What? You think it wouldn't be good?” He tilted his head, giving her a knowing smile as he brought the cigarette to his lips. He had a reputation, and he knew it. Everyone knew it. 

“Oh no, I think it would be amazing. I think you’d be the best fuck I ever had. Probably be seeing stars.”

“Several stars, a whole fucking constellation. You want Orion’s belt? I’ll give it to ya honey,” he promised eagerly, her smile spreading wide. “So it’s settled? I’ll get us a room,” he started pushing off his chair. 

She laughed, rolling her eyes at him, “No John.”

He flopped back down into his chair, leaning back, exaggerating defeat.

“What is it Kate? I know you want to,” he softened a bit. It wasn’t him being cocky, it was the truth. They both saw it. 

“Who’s your favorite person out here? Other than Jimmy, who would you consider family?”

“Come on, you already know the answer to that,” he scoffed. She raised a brow at him, waiting. “You, obviously.”

“Would you take a bullet for me?”

“Of course,” his brows pinched, as if he was insulted she even had to ask. 

They clearly loved each other. There’d been plenty of people who they’d loved throughout their lifetime. But there were few people who either of them had loved as much as each other. But loving someone and being in love with someone were two very different things. 

“I would too. Without a fucking doubt, I’d lay down my life for you. Friendships like ours aren’t normal, John. Can you imagine what would happen if we added sex onto that?”

He didn’t answer her, just held her eyes for a moment before sitting back into his chair. Staring at his beer as he swirled it. Thinking.

“Would it be all that bad?” He brought his eyes back to hers, a glimmer of hope there. That look broke her a bit. A precursor to what she knew was eventually coming, the pain of her one day having to leave. Something she’d likely have to do unnoticed. Fuck, she didn’t even know if she could tell him before she left. God forbid someone came looking for her and he had information. 

“Yes,” she sighed. 

He hadn’t brought it up again after that. But it eventually happened and once that can of worms was open, there was no way they could close it. They couldn’t be in each other's presence for longer than five minutes before they’d find somewhere to sneak off to. The man had practically lived with her that last month, but they’d never spoken less. They’d had years of talking. She knew him like the back of her hand. They made up for lost time, eager to learn each other's bodies the way they’d learned each other's minds. 

Fuck was it hot, but so stupidly risky. Risky enough that when she was being dragged across the country, she had the looming threat of carrying his child. When she finally started to bleed, she’d allowed her a moment to sob before mentally blocking out the memory of him forever. Well, until recently. 

The hiss of jet cut through her thoughts, letting it carry the weight of them, if only for a few short minutes.

He’d been on her mind more as of late. The thoughts of him had started flowing back in when…when her drug use had picked up. She hadn’t been able to understand his struggles back then, but now she did. If she could go back in time and cut the guy a break, she would have. It took her dropping to her lowest to finally be able to mentally forgive the man, but it was too late to ever say it in person.

Also, It wasn’t lost on her that the thoughts of him grew louder the closer her and Cooper got. As if this feeling made it too difficult to ignore how big of a loss John had been. She’d never mourned him, and he deserved to be mourned. But she was too selfish to give him that. The thoughts of him would creep back in, then she’d send them away before things got too painful. 

She pushed the thoughts aside as she worked her way through the pile of debris left over from the mole rats.There was so much shit in here. A lot of it was trash at this point, but she’d manage to find a considerable amount of things still usable. She’d piled up old board games, scrap papers, pencils. No real toys, but kids had imaginations, right? They’d figure it out. It wasn’t until Kate was finished clearing the pile that she realized this shit looked completely boring. Only then remembering the random toys she had squirreled away in her bag for spare parts. At least she had a reason to shed a couple pounds from her bag.

When she finally presented the haul to the kids, Elena looked like she was going to cry. Faith clung the teddy bear Kate had given her tightly, saying it was her “new best friend.” And Ryder looked like he was going to combust when she handed him that rocket ship. Yeah, she would be a wicked awesome Aunt. 

With the room cleared she even discovered an old TV hidden in the back corner of the room. It wasn’t in bad shape. A few frayed wires, which she had finished replacing when Cooper drifted into the room.

“What’re you getting into now,” he drawled from where he leaned in the doorway, wiping grease from his hands.

“Trying to get this TV working for the kids,” she replied as she fiddled with some of the internal wiring, “think I got it.”

“Ya know, before the world went to shit, they started saying these things were rotting kids brains out,” he chuckled as stepped around, crouching before the screen. She froze, staring up at him.

“Oh shit,” she gasped, her brows pinched tight in concern, “think it’s worse than the nuclear fallout?”

He grinned wide as he shook his head, pushing off the doorframe, “smartass.”

The corner of her mouth tipped up as she turned her attention back to the TV.

With a turn of the dial, the screen blinked to life. A movie was playing, somewhere in the middle. An old western, A Man and His Dog. She hadn’t been much of a movie buff, but she’d seen this one before. Had listened to it at least. After a particularly rough night early on. When it had gotten a bit too hard to beat back the voices in her head. That night, her own internal monologue was not strong enough to drown out the sounds of her life being destroyed. 

She’d come across a vault that day. Empty, but had a real big movie collection. Not something she was usually interested in, but the radio was busted into a million pieces, so it was her only other option. She always struggled in the fall, when she was just shy of three years out here. Got worse the closer she got to the…anniversary? That word didn’t feel quite right for such an earth shattering event. November 17th. The day she’d lost everything. As soon as the temperature started to drop outside, it became harder to ignore the memories. A memory would start to bubble up, but not now. No time to rehash the past.

“But your parents,”

Not now

“What about Verna, Phil, or Sammy?”

Not. Now.

“John?”

NOT NOW.

She’d repeated that phrase in her head so many damn times it was a deafening roar in comparison to those memories. But once fall came around, that roar wasn’t quite loud enough. 

So she focused instead on working through an impressive collection of films. Mostly westerns. Starring the sellout who’d skyrocketed the sales of the fucking vaults. An obscure piece of US history she’d come across over the years. 

Well, unfortunately for her, the only movies this particular vault had were…Cooper Howard films. And interviews, and even those fucking commercials. So she’d found the movie with the cutest costar and popped it in. A fluffy little thing. Dogs didn’t look like that anymore, so soft. 

She’d barely paid attention to the screen, but she’d listened. And to her dismay, that cowboy had a voice that rolled down her spine in the best way possible. Smoother than it was now, with a bit of a rumble. Confident. It had done wonders at keeping the thoughts away for a bit. Now, as she sat on the floor, staring at the newly fixed TV in the bunker, this voice no longer brought her any comfort. 

Boots crunched in the debris behind her as she watched the tall, handsome cowboy stroll across the screen. His fluffy companion ran at his side. He walked right up to a beautiful damsel he’d just rescued, giving her a smile that women would swoon at the sight of. A smile that just made her heart hurt now.  

Her throat tightened as Cooper stepped up beside her, but she didn’t take her eyes off the screen. She stared at Cooper, as he once was, as betrayal fell over her like an icy wave in a nor’easter. He flipped off the TV as she looked up at him, her hand slowly moving to her gun. Halted by the excited voice behind her, “You get that old thing working?” Terry came strolling through the door, grease covering his thin face. “Shit, did I walk in on something?”

Kate pushed off the floor, brushing her pants off and plastering a fake smile on her face. She couldn’t risk whatever fallout this discovery would have hurting these people. “Nope. TV is all set. Found a couple tapes back there, should keep the kids entertained for a while. We should be heading out. Already down here longer than we’d wanted.”

“Can’t,” Cooper replied cooly, “storms rolling in. Good one. Stuck down here for at least another day.” He reached down, ejecting the movie from the TV. “Hope your kids weren’t big fans of westerns. Looks like they’re a mole rat’s favorite snack.”

“Ah shit,” he flipped through the collection of movies Kate had thrown into some old cardboard boxes, “well superhero movies will have to do. Don’t really think they’ll be complaining either way. Got that assaultron up and running. It’ll give her some time to rest.”

“You’re looking tired, sweetheart,” Cooper’s voice was hauntingly smooth, “why don’t you come rest a bit.”

Kate held his stare, a firm look on his face. Practically a fucking warning. Don’t say shit.

________________

Kate rarely showed her fear. Shit, he didn’t think she had any most of the time, but he could see it written all over her face now. No surprise he was the reason. He should have told her, but how the hell was he supposed to start that conversation. They’d been a bit preoccupied with surviving the last few weeks, there hadn’t even been time to tell her. And he didn’t want to ruin the little time they’d had together reliving the past. 

“Yeah,” she’d agreed after a moment, looking away from him tucking her hair behind her ears. A nervous tick of hers, one she rarely showed. She turned on her heel and sped out of the room, obviously putting distance between them. He didn’t push. Just calmly followed her down the hall. Taking the time to steel himself. 

Knew this would end bad .

She’d waited by the door for him, finally finding the courage to look him in the eyes. She’d clearly taken the time to steel herself as well. A lethal calmness had come over her, eyes deadened. There was no way she was going to let him box her in that room. She was too smart for that.

He nodded as he pushed through the door, stepping into the room. When he’d turned back to her, she was shutting the door, her .44 aimed right between his eyes. 

“Take it you ain’t a fan of my films then,” he drawled.

“Oh, the films weren’t half bad. A little old school for my taste,” she said cooly as she racked one on the chamber, her nose flaring a bit as her face hardened, “It’s the role you took as the pied fucking piper for Vault-Tec that I have a bit of an issue with.”

“Of course you know about that,” he massaged the tense muscles of his forehead with his fingers. Why would he have expected otherwise? She had years of random information stored away in that brain of hers. That woman’s brain was like a sponge.

“You better start fucking talking. I owe you for the shit in the vault, so I’m giving you a chance here. Explain. Now.” A flatness in her voice that caused a pang in his chest. She was interrogating him, just like she was working a fucking job. Out of everyone he could have considered would take him out one day, he wasn’t mad it was Kate. She’d make it quick. Wouldn’t make him suffer, but maybe that’s what he deserved.

“Only did them for my ex. We were working on things, and she asked for my help,” he held his hands out to her.

“So you led thousands of people, your fans, to fucking torture chambers to save your marriage….” her face scrunched in disgust.

“Wasn’t exactly aware of that part at the time,” he sighed as he sat on the mattress. “Things had been rough. Both our careers were taking off, in different directions. I thought it was the right thing for our family. Completely fucking tanked my career though.”

“Oh I am so fucking sorry about that,” she scoffed. He was fucking this up. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he rubbed his hand over his face, knocking his hat off in the process. “Reason I filed for divorce. One of ‘em at least. I found out all the fucking secrets she was keeping and left. It fucking ruined my life,” He cut himself off as his voice started to raise, taking a deep breath, calming himself. “Vault-tec destroyed my fucking life. My fucking world. Had I known, I would have never gone along with it.”

“You figured it out before the bombs dropped? How’d you find out?” 

“It’s a long story. Would prefer it if I didn’t have to tell it to the barrel of your gun.” 

Her steely eyes held his, looking stormier than usual. Refusing to drop her weapon.“Talk.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes, but he told her everything. Every unbelievable detail that she should have been made aware of before getting involved with him. But he’d been too much of a coward to give her that. Afraid of the look she had in her eyes now. The shock, confusion, fear, disgust that came with those revelations.

“Vault-tec dropped the bombs,” she’d breathed out, all the air sucked from her lungs as she stared at the floor. After a moment, her eyes flashed back to him. “Your wife did this.”

He nodded, the greatest stain on his life. Regardless of the fact he’d been in the dark for most of it, he’d still profited off the death and torture of millions of people. Blood money. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t think it mattered.” Even now, he wasn’t brave enough to admit, he’d been a fucking coward.

“I think it does,” she replied softly, clearly disappointed. as she dropping her gun as she turned and headed out the door. 

Just give her time.

  It had been hours since Kate had taken off. Likely off helping Terry and Elena, distracting herself until she could leave. He was trying to give her space. 

Or she ran out into a storm to get away from you…

She wouldn’t do that…but she did have a habit of making stupid decisions to distance herself from him.

“Fuck,” he hissed out as he pushed off the mattress. Rushing to the door, frantically searching each room for her. He popped his head into the old mole rat lair, where the family was sitting around watching Batman . The kids’ faces practically touching the screen. They’d never been so quiet.

“You seen Kate?”

“No, thought she was with you,” Terry called over his shoulder, not paying The Panicking Ghoul any attention. 

Fucking Kate.

He rushed to the hatch at the far end of the bunker. No sign of her. But the winds were whippin. Sounded like a fucking freight train running through. He hopped back down, running down to the hatch in the main building. Taking the ladder two rungs at a time before flinging the hatch open. Relief washed over him as he found her sitting on the floor, hugging her knees into her chest, watching the storm outside.

“Gave me a heart attack, I thought you were out in that,” he sighed in relief as he pushed his way through the hatch, but she paid him no mind. As if he wasn’t even there.

He sat down beside her, looking out the window to the green hued storm swirling outside. Oddly beautiful when they were tucked away, relatively safely in here. If the US government put something out here, it was meant to sustain twisters. It had lasted this long, it wasn’t going anywhere.

“I was going to,” she sighed, softening a bit, weakly gesturing to the window, “but this has been circling us for the last few hours.”

“You’ve always been a runner.”

She hummed in agreement. Silence fell between them for several minutes, both watching the deadly storm swirl around them before Kate finally broke the silence.

“If Janey is okay, would you forgive her?”

He blinked at her. “It’s complicated.”

Her brows raised as she pointed to the storm outside, “we got time.”

“If Janey was healthy, happy, I could forgive her in part. She may have dropped the first bombs, but it doesn’t mean it wasn’t going to happen. This was her way of ensuring they were safe.”

“Janey wasn’t even with her when it happened,” Kate pointed out.

“No, she cut it fucking close with that. I can’t work that out. I don’t have all the answers, and even if I did, I don’t think they’d justify this. I don’t know how anything could. I could never forgive her fully, but maybe for some of it.”

“Did you love her?”

“I loved a different version of her.”

“Why do you think she changed?”

“I don’t think she did. I just wasn’t looking hard enough to see her fully. Realized that towards the end, how little I paid attention. So wrapped up in my own self interests. It’s why I’d agreed to the commercials. I was trying to be there more, to fix shit. But it couldn’t be fixed. The more I paid attention, the more I realized she wasn’t who I thought she was.” He paused for a moment, pushing back the despair as it threatened to tear him down. “I hated Vault-tec before I knew all their dirty secrets. Woulda never done those commercials if I didn’t love her. Love makes you do crazy things.”

“Yeah, it does,” she sighed before turning back to the storm. Sounded like she had first hand experience herself. Silence fell over them again for a few minutes. She didn’t seem upset, more lost in thought, but he wasn’t going to push her.

“I want to be mad at you,” she broke the silence, staring at her wrist as she rubbed her skin with her thumb. “But, I can’t. I should be though. You shoulda fucking told me.”

“You’re right.”

“Don’t keep shit from me again.”

“I won’t.” He wanted to believe that. Something in the way she looked at him told him she wasn’t buying it either. 

But it seemed good enough for now. She scooted in closer, leaning her head on his shoulder, easing the tension in his shoulders. 

“You ever been in love, honey?”

“Wouldn’t say I was in love. It was complicated. ” 

He motioned outside, “Like you said, we got time. One tragic tale deserves another.”

She sighed, sitting up and crossing her long legs out in front of her as she leaned back into the fence. 

“Fucking John,” she shook her head, looking back to the window. “The man was larger than life. You either loved him or hated him. I never could understand how you couldn’t love him. He was just…special,” her brows pinched, thinking for a moment. “We’d been best friends for years before we took that next step. It shouldn’t have happened, but we were both in a rough place.” She paused. “How much you know about Diamond City?”

“Enough to know I wouldn’t be welcome there.”

“Anti-ghoul decree of 2282. That was kind of the tipping point.”

Chapter Text

October 2282

Jimmy McDonough had lost his goddamn mind. Kate hadn’t ever liked the man, he was an ass, but this was too far even for him. Kicked off his stint as mayor with the implementation of his anti-ghoul decree during his inaugural speech. From what John and the ghouls had told her, it had been awful. Security had turned on the ghouls immediately, hadn’t even given them time to comprehend what was happening. They didn’t make it quick either, instead they found amusement in beating them, drawing out their suffering until their bodies eventually relented. 

She couldn’t imagine witnessing those horrors directly. John had looked shell shocked when she’d spotted him outside the Fens. The normally rosy undertones in his creamy skin gone sallow, his cheeks hollow. Tension marred his sharp, stubbled jaw line. The cool fire that usually flickered in his crystal blue eyes extinguished. Nothing rattled John McDonough, but whatever he saw there did.

She’d tried to go into Diamond City, but him, Tommy, and Rory had threatened to drag her out of the city kicking and screaming if she involved herself so publicly. It infuriated her, but they were right. She carried the burden of representing too many lives. 

John was going against his own settlement, his own brother. For him, this was treason at most. Kate represented Kingsport, a role she gladly played as the daughter to the settlement founder, but it meant her actions had consequences that wouldn’t fall on just her shoulders. That didn’t mean Kate couldn’t do anything though. It just meant she couldn’t get caught.

Problem was, the events in DC had created a ripple effect throughout Boston. The streets were alive in a sinister way only Boston was capable of. Not only with Diamond City Security, but everyone else. Super mutants, Raiders, Gunners, fuck even the drifters and bots were getting in on this. When they couldn’t easily find ghouls to pick off, they had just started going after each other. It was a bloodbath, worse than anything she’d ever seen. Getting through a bloodbath unnoticed was incredibly fucking difficult, and she had three fugitive ghouls behind her that were high valued targets at the moment. 

As night blanketed the city, the violence intensified. Gunfire rang out nearly constantly. The brief periods of silence only preceded a particularly brutal battle. The usually crisp fall air hung thick with the metallic tang of blood mixing with the scent of fires that had erupted throughout the streets. Lingering from explosions or intentionally set to add to the chaos. It was terrifying and she was starting to think she was way out of her depth on this one.

Fear was something she thought she had a lock on. It was all in her head, an uncomfortable feeling she could push aside, but clearly she was wrong. She was fairly confident she was going to die. There was no way she was going to get out of this. Years of training be damned, she was never field tested in a scenario remotely close to this threat level. 

This type of fear made it sound easier to just give up. It was irrational, but a part of her desperately wanted to sacrifice herself to the carnage, just to make this awful feeling go away. And this fear was exactly what was keeping her, Gino, Clyde and Rosie stuck in this damn alley.

Her father would be so disappointed. Years of preparing just for her to hide behind a rusty dumpster. Cold, wet from the puddle she’d knelt in, wallowing in self pity.

Pathetic. 

“Can’t wait here much longer, they’ll find us,” Gino rasped from over her shoulder.

As if on cue, a bloodcurdling scream rang out, followed by pops of gunfire. Too fucking close. Fear slithered down Kate’s spine as the streets fell into an eerie silence. 

“Fuck,” she bit out between clenched teeth, looking back at the ghouls. 

Kind people whose lives had just been destroyed, all huddled together beside a crumbling brownstone. All of them were bloody and beaten, but Rosie was barely hanging on, fading in and out of consciousness. Clyde and Gino were going to have to carry her and they still hadn’t fully recovered from their ordeal. They weren’t going to be much help in a fight, she needed John.

But she didn’t fucking have him right now. He’d gone back to clear the rest of Diamond City, looking for any survivors. Determined to save every life he could, to limit his brother's campaign of terror as much as possible, but he should have been back by now. He’d narrowly dragged the three behind her out. She couldn’t let them just die, but how was she supposed to get them anywhere without him? 

John could navigate this place with his eyes closed, through a fucking minefield if he had to. Not her. If she left now, he would make it out, but if she stayed the Ghouls behind her wouldn’t. 

Time to put on your big girl panties, she told herself as she took a deep breath, steadying her shaking hands as determination shoved back her fear. 

She may not be able to do this, but she wasn’t the type to just give up. She was not going to roll over and die. She was going to get these ghouls to safety, or die trying. That’s the person her parents raised her to be. Her father had always told her never give up, no matter what, you keep going. And that is exactly what she was going to fucking do.

“Heads down, eyes peeled. No one steps foot into a roadway without me clearing it first,” she barked out her orders as she crawled over to Rosie’s side. Falling into the role she knew so well, as a leader. These people didn’t need someone to be gentle with them, they needed someone to keep them alive, to cut through their swirling thoughts. In part, she was putting a brave face on for herself as well, pretending to be the bigger fish. 

Roise was shivering, curled up between Clyde and Gino on the damp concrete. Gino’s large arm was draped around her, his flannel jacket shared between the two as he whispered words of encouragement into her ear. A friend desperately trying to keep another from drifting towards the afterlife. 

Kate took Rosie’s chin in her hand, looking her over. Her eyelids flickered as she struggled to look at Kate. Kate turned her face as she inspected the gouges that had failed to heal down her cheek, letting out a frustrated sigh. This wasn’t going to work, not with Rosie like this. 

She dug into her pocket, pulling out her last stimpak and punctured Rosie’s arm. A desperate attempt really. Rosie should have been healing on her own. It was a testament to how badly she’d been beaten. 

John had found her in the drainage culvert she’d crawled to after DC security had beaten her and her husband. She’d only escaped by playing dead, huddled against the lifeless body of her husband until security had left them to find more victims. They’d been together nearly as long as they’d been ghouls. Lifetimes together, for it all to end like this. 

The stimpak did something at least. Rosie perked up enough to lock onto Kate’s eyes, the inky black pools appeared to contract and dilate as she tried to focus on her face.

“You ready?” Kate softened a bit as she looked into the eyes of her dying friend. “We’re outta time.”

Rosie gave her a small nod, her melted skin scraping against Kate’s palm.

“I need to hear it.”

If Rosie couldn’t do this, she risked taking the other ghouls down with her.

“Ready,” she croaked out.

Kate dropped her chin, but Rosie didn’t let her head fall like Kate expected. The faint edge of determination falling over her scarred features.

There’s a shot.

Clyde and Gino helped Rosie to her feet and slung her arms over their shoulders. She wobbled a bit, but managed to keep herself upright. Torn and bloody clothes hung loosely around her spindly frame. If she was spotted by something out there, they would descend on her in a heartbeat. An easy target. 

The second she was steady, the four of them booked it down the alleyway. Kate ignored the ache that shot through her heart as she left John behind, but the ache grew the further they got from DC, carving out a path for fear to take hold of her again. Not the fear of dying though, but the fear of losing him, which was far worse. There was nothing she could do to beat that fear back. All she could do was ignore the voice telling her to turn around, and go after him. Turning back now would be a death sentence. 

She’d managed to pick off enough enemies to keep their group moving, but Rosie was starting to fade again and they were losing their momentum. Gino and Clyde hefted Rosie up as her feet slipped out from under her. Both men were big, had the abnormal strengths of ghouls, but they were injured. If they didn’t make it to safety soon, she was going to have to start making some tough decisions.

But they were wicked fucking. If she could just hang in there for another mile or two, they’d be over the bridge and on their way to her safehouse in Bunker Hill. Once they were strong enough, they’d get them to the Slog. It was the only place that made sense. Wiseman would never turn them away and after everything how would they ever live with smoothskins again? The Slog was the only place they had a shot at being comfortable after this.

Kate’s breath puffed out before her as she ran along the canal, past the amphitheater. As the bridge came into her view, hope swelled in her chest. She was clearing a path for the ghouls, block by block. It was getting quieter, most of the attention focused on the area surrounding Diamond City, but the quiet didn’t calm her nerves. It was like she was waiting for something to pop out at them, take them by surprise.

Her stomach dropped as a super mutant stepped out into the roadway before her, his hulking back towards her. She skidded to a stop, her feet nearly sliding out from under her as her boots failed to get traction on the wet leaves. The second her foot caught pavement she turned and sprinted back to the ghouls. As they came into her view again, she threw her arms up, frantically motioning for the ghouls to cut right in the fork.

If Gino and Clyde could have paled they would have, both utterly defeated. They were so fucking close and Kate was sending them back into the city, drastically decreasing their chances of getting Rosie out alive. These people were the remnants of a flourishing community of ghouls who cared for each other. The thought of losing another one of their own was probably torture, but there was no choice. 

Kate was running low on ammo and she was really their only reliable shot right now. Clyde and Gino could shoot, but it was difficult with Rosie. Gino was shooting lefty and he’d already almost shot Kate in the ass a few times. Their only hope was to skirt around the super mutants and pushing their way back to the bridge, but going back into the city was so fucking dangerous. They’d heard a goddamn assaultron when they were darting through allies. None of them were ready for this. 

The ghouls reluctantly veered into the city again, narrowly avoiding being spotted by the Super Mutant when it turned their way. Kate fell in line behind them, walking backwards, checking to see if anyone had followed them when shots rang out in front of the ghouls.

Rosie startled and stumbled. Her knees slammed into the ground, nearly dragging Clyde down on top of her as she gripped his bloodstained canvas jacket. Miraculously, he managed to keep his footing and pull her back up. 

Kate moved past the ghouls as they scrambled to take cover against the buildings. Her eyes swept the roadway, searching for wherever the shots had come from. As they approached the intersection, her eyes tracked the bullets as they whizzed through. Taunts and shouts echoed off the buildings from fighting around the corner.

The group plastered themselves on the crumbling facade of an old store as several shots came flying through the intersection before them. Kate ignored her racing heart as she crept forward, peeking around the corner. Relief washed over her as she spotted John. He was easy to spot with the one of a kind dark blue Red Sox cap situated backwards on his head, like always. That fucking hat was synonymous with John McDonough. One of a kind memorabilia that Moe Cronin had offered his left kidney for once.Two ghouls flanked him, not from Diamond City from what she could tell, and not nearly as injured as the three behind her. 

The brief wave of relief was quickly replaced by an icy stab of panic as a Gunner stepped out from a building, trying to sneak up on John. Kate had him down before he could even raise his pistol. John spared a glance behind him, sighing as he spotted Kate setting her sight on another Gunner.

“Pull back,” he shouted to his ghouls.

She covered them as they fled, ducking low as bullets whizzed overhead. John pulled a grenade from his pocket, pulling the pin with his teeth. He tossed it over his shoulder before he slipped behind the building, tucking himself in front of Kate. The explosion rocked the ground, sending debris skittering across the ground. A thick plume of dust and smoke blanketed the area, giving them a fleeting moment of reprieve. 

“Where have you been,” she hissed into his ear as her chest pressed into his back. The sandy strands of his ponytail brushed against the exposed skin just below her collar. Her panic eased as she breathed in the slightly spiced scent of him.

“Decided to take the scenic route,” he teased as he flashed her a sly grin over his shoulder, his icy blue eyes glinting in the firelight. His warmth chased the chill from her cheek.

“Smartass.” She knocked her shoulder into his back, biting back a smile of her own before growing serious again. “Bridge is blocked. Rosies barely hanging on, she ain’t gonna make it to Bunker Hill. Where the hell are we supposed to go?” 

His chiseled nose scrunched in annoyance, his mouth pulling into a tight line before he turned back to the road. “Plan B it is then.”

“What’s plan B?” Kate craned her neck, trying to see his face, but he ignored her. Before she could pitch a fit, he was darting through the intersection. “God fucking dammit,” she hissed as she watched him narrowly dodge a bullet. 

She looked over to Gino and Clyde as they propped up Rosie, their chests heaving, both breathless still.  

“Can you two get her across?” She motioned to Rosie. She looked bad. Her head was pressed against the wall, eyes closed. Her breaths came in shallow puffs. The men nodded, but she could see the hesitation in their eyes, their brows pinched as they looked her over. They wouldn’t leave her here, but for their own good, they should.

“You two.” Kate motioned to the newest additions. She didn’t care who they were or where they were from, she was just grateful for the extra guns.  “Cover them as they head across. I’ll follow behind.” 

The angry taunts of the Gunners picked up as the dust settled. Kate’s eyes locked on John, waiting for whatever signal he was going to give her. He brought another grenade to his mouth pulling the pin with his teeth. His intense gaze locked on hers, nodding before he tossed the grenade down the roadway.

“Go,” Kate shouted over the explosion as it rocked the roadway. 

Gino and Pauley stumbled a bit as Kate shoved them into the street. Rosie hung limp, barely conscious between them. The other Ghouls escorted them across, using the smoke for cover as bullets whizzed by them from Gunners shooting blindly. 

They had made it almost half way across when Gino fell, taking Rosie and Clyde down with him. A roar tore from him as he rolled over, grasping his thigh. 

“I’m hit,” he yelled over the commotion. Clyde pushed himself off Rosie, eyes wide as he frantically tried to pull her and Gino back up, but it was too much weight. Gino was a big guy, and the other two were too busy fending off the group as the gun fire picked up. All Clyde could do was pull Rosie behind an old car while Gino scooted himself across the ground after them. Clyde tugged him in just before a second bullet could hit him.

Kate pushed off the wall, sprinting towards them. “Help Gino, I got her,” she yelled as she slid behind the car, landing next to Rosie. She holstered her gun and slung Rosie’s arm over her shoulder. Rosie slumped against her, her head lolling to the side. She leaned down, pressing her ear to her chest. She was still alive. Kate smacked her cheek, her own heart pounding in her chest as the jeering down the road grew louder. Before the dust settled completely, Clyde and Gino pushed out from behind the car.

“Rosie. Up. Open up your fucking eyes,” Kate smacked her again, her eyes fluttered open. Panic started to bubble up as Kate realized the group was moving without them, “I need you to dig deep, or we’re both gonna die.” 

Rosie gave her a tiny nod, using all the strength she had in her to move her head. Rosie was small enough that Kate could support most of her weight, but she was going to sacrifice speed and her ability to shoot. Kate should have left her, but she fucking couldn’t. She hefted her up, wrapping her arm around Rosie’s waist as she gripped Kate’s neck. 

Rosie trembled as they stood, but kept her legs under her. Something akin to hope bloomed in Kate’s chest as they took a few steps forward. They could do this. Rosie could make it. 

As they stepped out from behind the cover of the car, Kate looked up to see John, eyes wide, mouth moving as if he was screaming at her. Fuck. She couldn’t hear him, the last grenade must have been too close.

Panic bubbled up again, unsure of what was coming at her and unable to spare the time to figure it out. Adrenaline coursed through her as her feet pushed off the ground. A millisecond later a blast rocked through her body, flinging her forward. The world slowed as ringing filled her ears. Rosie was torn from her grasp. Kate’s skull reverberated off the concrete as she landed. She felt the bones in her left hand splinter as her palm smacked down on the concrete. Her skin tore as she slid across the crumbling pavement. For a moment, all she knew was intense, blinding pain. An overwhelming ache filled her head as her body tensed uncontrollably, her jaw locking. After a moment, she managed to regain some control of her muscles. She slammed her right hand down, pressing it into the pavement.

Get up. 

She groaned as she slid up onto her knees. The pain in her head built with the exertion. Her body trembled, her limbs threatened to give way under her weight. 

Get. Up. 

Fuck, her father was gonna kill her if she died out here. 

She pushed off the ground, ignoring the intense pressure in her eyes that spread over the back of her skull, and the mind numbing ache that was creeping up her arm. She looked up, searching for Rosie, her eyes struggling to adjust. The details of her were fuzzy, but Kate could see enough to know Rosie wouldn’t be getting up. 

Kate attempted to push off the ground but the world swayed around her. Her body began to tip again when a hand clasped her elbow.

“Move! Now,” John boomed as time seemed to speed up once more. His deep voice echoed off the walls of her skull as he dragged her to her feet.

He positioned himself between her and the Gunner’s as they exchanged bullets. Kate stumbled, pain shooting through her shoulder as he yanked her back up. As her senses started flowing back to her, the smell of burning rubber had her cursing as she braced herself. 

They’d just made it to the sidewalk when the car exploded. John pushed her forward, sending her to her knees as he covered her with his body, his hands landing on the pavement beside her. She bit back a sob as the bones in her left hand scraped together under his weight. The heat of the explosion licked at their skin as the flames swelled. Debris rained down around them. John yanked Kate back up to her feet. “Run!”

She did her best to focus, putting one foot in front of the other as she picked up her speed. She shook her head, blinking as she tried to refocus her still fuzzy vision. Soon she was running, in a relatively straight line, after the surviving ghouls who were already well down the road. Nausea roiled in her gut, her body screaming in protest, but she pushed it aside. Nothing else mattered but getting the ghouls to safety. Wherever the fuck that was now. 

With Gino injured, the only chance they had at making it out was cutting left at the end of the road, but Kate already knew that was likely not an option. Left would take them past Vault-Tec HQ, where she had spotted the super mutant earlier. Still, there was some tiny piece of her that held out hope. Maybe they’d moved on, drawn out by the commotion of their fight with the Gunners.

Her heart sank when they reached the end of the road. To the left, the gang of Super Mutants stood banging their chests in a challenge. Kate and John exchanged a glance, his mouth drew into a tight line in frustration as he took aim.

“Keep going,” she yelled over her shoulder to the ghouls. Her voice sounded muffled, her hearing still mostly gone.

Everything seemed to be going well until blinking caught her attention as a suicider emerged from a doorway. “Oh, come on,” she groaned. 

“Go,” John barked back at her. 

Reluctantly, she turned and put some distance between her and the mutant. For big fuckers, they sure where fast, and at the moment, she really wasn’t. As much as she didn’t want to separate from John ever again, her head was not ready to handle another explosion. She looked back to find John running behind her as he tried to take down the suicider. The fucking thing was bobbing and weaving as if it wasn’t over 700 pounds. John turned to follow Kate, sprinting towards her. She turned back to the road before her, putting everything she had into running as fast as she could. 

Faint, rapid beeps cut through the ringing in her ears. Even though she could barely hear the beeping, she knew it was close. Too fucking close. Her stomach dropped as the beeping intensified. She braced herself, praying she wouldn’t lose consciousness after another hit. If she did, John wasn’t gonna leave her, and they would both be killed. Likely the ghouls too. 

But no explosion ever came.

She chanced a glance over her shoulder to see the super mutant fall. She let out a laugh of disbelief as John held up a middle finger to it before turning back to her, flashing her a wink and a devilish smile. If her cheeks weren’t already bright red from running, she’d have blushed. 

They caught up to the Ghouls as they turned right onto the next road. Ferals were already roaming the streets around the burial ground, likely drawn out by whoever was stalking this area. 

“Get to Goodneghbor,” John shouted. The ghouls followed his orders and sprinted past the ferals.

Kate went to fire, but her pistol just clicked. She’d hadn’t been counting her ammo since the explosion. “Fuck, I’m out of ammo.” She tucked her pistol back into her waistband and unsheathed the large hunting knife she had strapped to her thigh. Ferals descended upon her as she slashed her way through the swarm. She dropped a couple heads as John picked off the rest, giving them a clear path to Goodneighbor. The neon lights an unsettling beacon of uncertainty.

“Wait,” John called to her as his hand wrapped around her elbow, pulling her towards him. He held his hat in his hand, the hair atop his head fuzzed and sweat slicked. Sweat dotted his flushed skin. His chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, clearly exhausted. He settled his hat onto her head before he tugged her hair tie, freeing her tangled curls. He ran his hands through them, adjusting them the best he could around her face. 

Her breath caught as his hand gripped her jaw, tilting her face up to him. His eyes filled with concern as he looked over her. “Keep outta sight in there.”

Before she could respond, he dropped her chin and tucked the brim of his hat down, shielding her face the best he could. Good Neighbor wasn’t exactly a place Kate was welcome. 

The caravan rarely broke contracts, but after Kate had nearly gotten her head blown off on a job there, any working relationship with Goodneighbor was ruined. Vic had been trying to screw them on pricing, something her father and her took very seriously. They’d priced more than fairly. Cheapest water in all the Commonwealth. Only took enough to keep the settlement going comfortably. No one fucked with that, but Vic sure as hell tried. Words were said and Vic threw a temper tantrum, bullets were exchanged. 

Her father tolerated a lot of bullshit. Had managed to maintain a somewhat civil relationship with Goodneighbor for years, but no one fucked with his family. The man may not have been affectionate, but the fury that he would unleash when someone tried to harm her was more than enough evidence of how much he loved her. Cutting off Goodneighbor’s water supply was tame compared to the hell he wanted to rain down on Vic. 

As far as Vic was concerned, any contract he made was ironclad and for life. The terms were free to change at his discretion, of course. Vic took the abrupt dissolution as an even bigger insult than the one Kate had slung at him. It had created an irreconcilable rift between their settlements. Making this part of the city far too deadly for Kate, or anyone from Kingsport to venture to. 

Their group did their best to steel themselves as they pushed through the doors of Goodneighbor. Thankfully, the streets were bustling with inebriated transients and townsfolk all heading home from their night of debauchery. A perfectly disheveled group of miscreants for them to blend into. Kate peeled off from the group as they headed to The Memory Den in hopes there would be a healer willing to help them, but healthcare was hit or miss here. Good doctors didn’t come to Goodneighbor. Only the fucking psychos worked out of here. The ones who weren’t opposed to harvesting organs. And even then, they never stuck around for long.

She tucked herself into the shadowy corner outside The Third Rail. Her foot planted against the wall as she lit a cigarette. Her injured arm hung gingerly at her side as she attempted to keep it from brushing her leg. Fuck, did it hurt. Her eyes ached as she scanned the crowd from underneath the brim of John’s hat. By the time Kate had finished her cigarette she was feeling pretty confident they were making it out of Goodneighbor without incident. If she hadn’t been spotted yet…but then Slade walked out of the bar.

Motherfucker.

She stiffened as her heart jumped into her throat at the appearance of Vic’s second. Which he totally fucking noticed.

You fucking idiot.

His dark eyes locked with hers, a sinister smile stretching across his long face. On instinct, Kate pushed off the wall, weaving through a group walking past the Old State House.

“Lockley,” his rumbling voice grated through her nerves like a razor sharp talon of a Deathclaw. A large hand landed on her shoulder, fingers painfully digging into the joint as he pulled her to a stop. The barrel of a gun pressed into her back. He tsked. “You aren’t supposed to be here.”

Her thoughts struggled to break through the pain that still clouded her mind. How the fuck was she supposed to play this? Seemingly out of options, her hand twitched, but she froze when Slade pushed his gun into her harder. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Let’s have a little chat. It’s been so long since the Princess of Kingsport graced us with her presence.”

“Please, for the love of God, do not let the moniker stick,” she groaned as her hands went out to her sides, her injured hand screaming in protest.

“Down the alley, princess,” he chuckled.

The throbbing in her head synched to the rhythm of her pounding heart as she walked down the alley. He walked her around the corner before he slammed her into a wall. She groaned as her head and hand hit the wall, her vision grew fuzzy as stars blinked to life in her vision. 

When the twinkling faded away, she found Slade watching her. He leaned against the opposing wall, arms crossed, sleeves rolled to reveal the muscled tanned skin below. That sinister smile still plastered to his harsh features. His short dark hair effortlessly tousled. If he wasn’t such a piece of shit she may have thought he was decent looking. She was surprised to find his pistol was holstered. Not what she was expecting. 

“You look like shit,” he remarked as he leaned forward, holding out a stimpak. 

Kate glared at it with disgust. “You think I’m an idiot?” 

“Suit yourself.” He pocketed it, leaning back against the wall. “But you got that glassy look in your eyes. And that hand,” he whistled, “that looks like it hurts. You’re gonna drop soon if you don’t get something into you. Don’t expect me to drag your ass out of here, this is as far as my generosity goes.”

“Why would you help me?”

“Cause I need something from you, obviously.”

“What?”

“Nothing too difficult. Just need you to deliver a message to your father for us. Vic is sick of this bullshit. We have a contract, and your father needs to honor that.”

“Vic broke that contract when he tried to kill me.”

“I think you’re forgetting that mouth of yours got you into that mess.”

“I haven’t forgotten shit. I stand by what I said, Vic was being a little bitch.”

Slade shot forward, his hand wrapped around her throat as he slammed her back into the wall again. Her eyes rolled back as stars flooded her vision, ringing built in her ears again. Suddenly, holding herself upright felt impossible, her knees wobbled below her, but Slade’s hand around her throat kept her standing. His fingers painfully dug into her chin. 

“You sure you don’t want this?” She willed her eyes open enough to see him holding the stimpak up. 

Anything could be in that syringe. It looked like a stimpak, but you never knew what you were getting out of Goodneighbor. The edges of her vision started to darken. 

“What’s it gonna be, princess? Gonna take my help or is Goodneighbor gonna be your final resting place?” His smile said he was more than enjoying this.

Kate went to reach for the stimpak, but he ignored her hand, jabbing the needle into the side of her arm. She gritted her teeth as she felt the needle bounce off her bone. Her mind cleared, her body became lighter. She pushed up, trying to stand up taller, but Slade didn’t let her go. Her face grew severe, his fingers tightening around her throat as her hand gripped his wrist.

“Watch your mouth,” he growled, “just cause I haven’t killed you yet, doesn’t mean I won’t. Vic is giving you a chance here, but he has no issue taking what is his.” His grip eased, allowing her to breathe again. 

“Feel free to try,” she rasped. “There’s not a legitimate settlement in the Commonwealth not aligned with us. You know the deal, we look the other way, allow you to deal in whatever debauchery you want, and everyone else leaves you alone. You bring that shit out of Goodneighbor, you’re likely to spark an all out war.”

“Wars here, sweetie. You seen the streets? Well of course you did, look at you. Seems like you barely made it out alive this time. If you’re the best Kingsport has to offer, you guys ain’t looking all that intimidating.”

“We would still outnumber you.” 

“Would you?” He gave her a patronizing smile. 

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What are you up to?”

“Relay that message to your father. If he makes the right decision you won’t have to find out.”

Slade pushed off Kate, shoving her into a wall one last time as footsteps came running down the alley. John appeared, eyes going wide as he spotted Slade, drawing on him a moment too late. Slade already had his gun pointed at Kate’s head. 

Her lip curled as she glared daggers into Slade’s head.

“Don’t worry McDonough. I’m letting your girlfriend walk outta here. I’m sure she’ll catch you up to speed later.” Slade waited for John to holster his gun before lowering his. John stepped in towards her, putting himself between the two of them. “By the way, give a congratulations to your brother from us. Let him know Vic’s very interested in having a chat with him. He sees real promise in Mayor McDonough after his inaugural celebration. No better way to leash control than a mass lynching.”

“Ain’t no brother of mine. You’ll have to pass that message over to the tyrant directly.”

“What a shame you two don’t share ideals. Woulda been real interesting seeing you get into politics. Oh, did you check in with AJ yet? Got some real good shit on him. Apparently it gives you a high like no other. Not for amateurs. Figured you may be interested.”

“All set,” John sneered.

“Maybe next time then.” Slade turned on his heel and headed down the alley, pausing to look back at them, his brows raised. “Well, come on.”

“You said we could leave,” she snapped. 

“I did, and you will be. With an escort.”

She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Vic is serious, he wants this message passed to your father. Need to make sure you get there first. Consider it a gesture of good faith.”

Chapter Text

Kate saw the escort for what it was, a fucking powerplay. Vic’s only goal was to embarrass her and highlight Kingsport’s weaknesses. It didn’t matter that Vic’s crew had been riding out most of the night safely tucked away in Goodneighbor. All anyone saw was Kate being delivered to safety by Vic. 

The three biggest settlements in the Commonwealth were Goodneighbor, Diamond City, and Kingsport. Two out of the three settlements were in the process of making some big moves. Power dynamics were changing. Kingsport couldn’t look weak at a time like this. 

Where Diamond City cornered the trades market, Kingsport had played a much better social game. The water business got them in the door with settlements, but their charisma had solidified bonds. Even before Kate took over, her father had been well liked and very respected. She had to give it to the man, he could party. Maybe not as hard as Kate. At least he never did in front of her, but he’d made a name for himself, and Kingsport. 

Their settlement was seen as the friendly folks up north, just looking for a good time. As neutral as could be, but Kate was just paraded through the streets, smack dab in the epicenter of the shit show with Mayor McDonough’s little brother in tow. There wasn’t shit neutral about that.

After what went down she had no idea where the settlements stood with each other. Her knee jerk reaction was to cut ties with them all together, but they relied on safe passage through the Fens for their routes. Not only that, but DC was the trade hub of the Commonwealth. DC didn’t really need Kingsport. There wasn’t much Kingsport could offer other than the occasional assistance with security matters. 

It was her side business dealings that kept Kingsport useful. She’d taken some side work, procuring hard to find items for some of the more influential residents in DC. Residents who played a very big part in Mayor McDonough’s election. Morally, she wanted nothing to do with those people. Logically, she knew Kingsport needed them. But how much did DC really need Kingsport? 

If both Goodneighbor and DC were off the table for trade, Kingsport would be severely crippled. They couldn’t scavenge enough parts on their own to keep the purifiers going. Taking sides, or at least appearing to, threatened to destabilize their settlement completely.

As much of a hit to the ego the escort was, Vic’s crew got them to the bridge unscathed. They’d wasted no time heading straight for their safehouse in Bunker Hill. 

Getting through the city with the caravan was exhausting. Wasn’t unusual for them to come out with some injuries. It just made sense to have a place to recover for a few days. Her, John,  Tommy and Rory had spent weeks scoping out the perfect place eventually settling on Bunker Hill. It was close enough to the City, but far enough away where trouble wouldn’t follow them.

It was practical, but she also loved that little apartment. A corner apartment in an abandoned building overlooking the water. It had a picture window with a seat built into it. Large enough for her to spread out on as she took in the view of the river. It had been a real selling point for her when they’d chosen this place. 

The apartment had become a second home to them, even if they didn’t spend much time there. It didn’t matter, they made the most of the time there, especially when all four of them were together. They’d kept it a secret from almost everyone. A stolen bit of peace just for the four of them, but they’d been willing to give that up if it meant helping their friends. None of them anticipated they’d fail at that so miserably.

It hadn’t hit Kate fully, everything they experienced. If anything, she was numb to it all. Too much had happened. Rory was the first crack in her toughened exterior. 

When John had shut the door behind her, Rory looked around in confusion, searching for the others who were supposed to be there. His pale green eyes flicked to hers as he’d connected the pieces.

She watched him as they recounted the details of the night. His slender, freckled face pinched with each horrific detail, as if he was watching it happen before him. By the time they finished the story, his elbows bore into the counter before him, his head in his hands, fingers gripping his shaggy copper hair. Seeing Rory so gutted by it all snapped Kate back to reality. 

Those were their friends. With how frequently they cut through the fens, they stopped into DC weekly. It wasn’t a place they had to go, but a place they enjoyed visiting, even before John had moved there with Jimmy. They’d spent plenty of nights at the bar with the ghouls. Kate had just kicked Rosie’s ass at darts not even a week ago. It had been an ongoing friendly rivalry between the two of them. If she’d known that was the last game they would play, she woulda stayed for the re-match she’d challenged her to.

She wanted to give Rory time to process, but there was none. Goodneighbor’s message had to be delivered before something bad happened, and it wasn’t safe for her to return home. Rory only had enough time to compose himself before him and Tommy left for Kingsport, leaving John and Kate in silence. 

Silence was jarring after everything. 

As John secured the door and set some traps, she flicked on the radio. The mid morning sun warmed her icy cheek as she scanned through the stations for Kingsport’s radio signal. It wasn’t much, played two songs, and purely as a communication to the other settlements that all was well in Kingsport. From 6 A.M. to 6 P.M., Way Back Home would play, and from 6 P.M. to 6 A.M., Easy Living would play. As long as the song changed, everything was fine in Kingsport. In reality, twelve hours was a really long time, anything could happen. But with their numbers, it was all hands on deck when they got hit. They always won, but too often when they got hit, they weren’t able to get out a distress signal. 

She breathed a sigh of relief as Easy Living filled the room. At least she knew that within the last few hours they were still okay. She had meant to leave the station on, to listen to for broadcast Tommy had promised to put out once they’d made it home, but she found herself turning the dial until the familiar stammering voice of Travis cracked through the static. 

“Hey, uhh, hi. Travis. I’m Travis….Right. Well, uhh. I have a message from directly…uhm directly from Mayor McDonough.” 

“Good evening residents.” She hated the way he tried to sound friendly, “I have been working tirelessly to clear our streets of any threats to our Citizen’s safety. I can proudly announce that within just twenty-four hours in office I have managed to eradicate the ghouls. We are continuing to work tirelessly to re-secure the Fens. Peace and order will soon be restored-”

“As if he’d ever get his own hands dirty,” John quietly scoffed from beside her as he flipped through the stations.

She turned towards him, leaning back against the bookshelf. His eyes glared at the radio as if he was staring down his brother directly. The normally soft curves of his mouth were tight and grim, his strong jaw set. He shuffled through the channels until he landed back on Kingsport’s broadcast.

He leaned a hand on the cluttered bookshelf, his eyes pinching shut as he dropped his head and let out a deep breath. She stepped into his space, wrapping her hand around the exposed skin of his bicep. Bloodstained fingers slid just under the sleeve of his bloody t-shirt as she gently massaged his tense muscle, feeling it soften under her touch. 

Before she could offer any comforting words, he pushed off the shelf and headed towards the kitchen. He grabbed a bottle of vodka from their collection off the countertop, cracking it open and taking a long swig as he leaned back against the counter. Sometimes, when things got to be too much, he just needed a moment. 

Kate took a seat at the kitchen island and dug through the medical supplies the guys had laid out. She still felt like shit. The pounding in her head felt more like a steady thrum, tolerable, but her hand was a different story. The swelling had barely receded after the stimpak. She found the courage to prod at the bones, gritting her teeth as the ache in her hand bloomed. Thankfully, nothing felt too displaced. Slade was definitely hoping he’d leave her permanently disfigured when he gave her the stimpak without letting her set it first. There’d be a few new bony prominences, but hopefully nothing that would affect her long term. She’d be sure to flip him off with it the next time she saw him. 

She jammed another stimpak into her arm, sighing as the aching in her hand started to ease. 

“How ya feelin’ love?” John had moved to lean on the island across from her. Some of the tension had faded from his face.

Kate flexed her hand before them. Tender, but she’d manage. “I’ll be fine.”

“More worried about your head,” he hissed after another swig of vodka.

She reached forward and stole the vodka from him, taking a long swig of her own. “Thankfully, I have a hard head.” 

“That’s an understatement,” he teased, his playful smile not quite reaching his eyes. “But, you still need to rest. Good thing we’re stuck here for a few days. Doubt I coulda convinced you to take time off work to rest.”

“I don’t want a vacation, I want to be out there. Helping.”

“This is what you call a vacation? Shit, you do need time off.” 

“This doesn’t feel right. Hiding.” She did little to hide her disappointment. Hiding is exactly what cowards did. They weren’t cowards.

“I know, it sucks, but it’s safer for everyone if we lay low.”

As much as she knew he was right, it didn’t make it any better, but her pride wasn’t worth bringing others into this. 

“What happened to Jimmy?” His face hardened again at her question, but just for a moment before falling. She regretted asking. It felt more like an accusation than anything, but none of this made sense.

“I wish I knew. I can’t wrap my head around it. The guy could barely keep it together long enough to stumble home from the bar. Becoming a genocidal tyrant wasn’t exactly something I would have seen in his future.” 

They didn’t have the best relationship, Jimmy was a bully, but they were brothers. When they’d moved to DC a few years back, Jimmy became interested in politics. Well, he became interested in some dangerous rhetoric that had been making the rounds. It seemed to feed some dark part of him. The man couldn’t debate his stance if his life depended on it, until one day, he could. Fairly well given how insane it all was. Didn’t mean he was right, but he could spin his point well enough that people started listening to him. 

It started in the bars, where Jimmy had a stool with his ass imprinted into it. Over the months snide remarks turned to pointed slurs. He’d gotten Rosie’s husband, Mark, real fired up one time. Jimmy had accused the man of going feral, right in front of a packed bar. The amount of people who bought into his bullshit was alarming. By the time they realized how bad it had become, it was too late. 

“You okay?”

He gave her a tight smile. “I still got you. I’ll be fine.” He dug through the supplies scattered across the countertop, grabbing a canister of jet. “Tommy said he got the water heater going. Go shower. After that you’re gonna lay down, you’re on bedrest for the rest of the day. Doctor’s orders.” 

“You’re a doctor now?”

“If Jimmy can wake up and call himself a politician, I can call myself a doctor.”

“Fair enough,” she said as she pushed off the counter, taking the Vodka with her.

“Go easy on that, don't need you dropping in the shower,” he called after her. 

“You have my permission to bust down the door if you hear a thud.”

Just before she reached the door, a loud thud came from the kitchen as he stomped his foot. She turned to look at him over her shoulder only to find him still leaning on the island, palms pressed into the counter, a coy smile played on his handsome face. The type of smile that she lived for from him. The type of smile that promised to chase away all her problems. 

While the shower helped ease some of the tension that plagued her aching muscles, it did nothing to quiet her mind. She hadn’t realized how strongly she’d smelled of blood until it had been washing down the drain, the warm water giving the scent a second life. She had to look away as swirls of red circled the drain. Instead, she focused on the burn of the vodka she poured down her throat. The idea that she was washing the last remnants of Rosie away was too painful for her to dwell on. When all she could smell was hubflower she emerged from the shower, practically freezing to death as the early October air licked at her damp skin. 

The apartment didn’t have a radiant heat source. Most places didn’t, but her settlement had rigged up heating systems to each of the houses there. It was a lot to manage and took several people working around the clock throughout the winter. Not something they could reasonably install in the apartment, but as her teeth chattered together she was starting to think it may be worth the effort. The luxuries of home had really spoiled her.

By the time she stepped out of the bathroom her toes had gone numb on the cold wooden floors. She scurried to the bedroom, trying to keep her feet off the ground as much as possible, nearly running straight into John as he stepped out, scaring the shit out of her. She stumbled back, nearly falling flat on her ass, but he caught her by the arm. The tug caused her hand to slip from the towel. Her face flamed mato red as she scrambled to catch it, managing to grasp it a fraction of a second after John had clamped the ends closed with his fist. The knuckle of his pointer finger and thumb had missed the fabric, instead resting directly on the exposed skin of her cleavage. Her frigid skin turned to molten lava when his fingers shifted against her as he helped her upright. 

“Oh my god,” she groaned in embarrassment as she adjusted the towel, John’s hand releasing the edges when she was fully secured. 

“Was that how you were going to disarm an intruder? Drop your towel,” he asked her, clearly amused.

She pushed past him, covering her eyes with her hand, too embarrassed to answer or look at him. 

“It totally would have worked,” he chuckled sinfully, the timbre of his voice had her stomach doing a flip.

Oh, Jesus Christ. 

John burst into a wild laughter. Her face grew impossibly hotter at the realization that she’d actually said that outloud.

“Can you go so I can die with an ounce of my dignity left,” she groaned.

“I don’t know. What if someone breaks in when I’m showering? Maybe we should give your little technique a test run. Go ahead, I’m ready.”

“Out,” she shrieked as she sent a pillow soaring past his head, only making him laugh harder.

She stalked towards the door, considering wacking him upside the head but he pushed off the frame and jogged to the door before she reached him. She slammed the door behind him as he laughed to himself the entire way to the shower. 

Her false anger deflated the moment the door latched. She turned and leaned back against the door, her hand coming up to rub her forehead as she wished away the blush she knew was staining her cheeks. The idea of him seeing her naked was one that had crossed her mind plenty of times, usually followed by wicked thoughts of things that would never be. Those fantasies went much smoother than what had happened. It wouldn’t have even been a flattering angle if the towel had dropped.

When the cool press of the door became too much on her back, she pushed off and headed back to her dresser. As she crouched down to open the bottom drawer, her attention snagged on something tucked below her dresser. She reached under and pulled out two tan leather slippers with a surprisingly intact fur lining. Pre-war for sure, but they still had years of life in them. She hadn’t put them there.

Tucked inside one of them was a folded piece of yellowed paper. She unfolded it, the blush creeping back into her cheeks as she read the note. 

Found these at Fallon’s. Figured you needed a pair. Hope they’re the right size.

              Love,

              John

He would do this from time to time. Leave gifts around the apartment for her. It was one of the few signs of him that let her know he’d been there when the caravan hadn’t, he left little trace otherwise. Always cleaned his messes, left their bed made. If it weren’t for the scent of him mixed with the scent of her that had woven itself into the fabric of the mattress, she would have never known he’d stayed in the bed without her. His scent was always so much stronger than hers when she’d stay here.

In those moments, the ones where she found the little reminders of him, it felt as if he was there with her. As if he stood just beside her, eagerly watching her as she opened her gift or wrapping his arms around her in bed. It felt like another side of their relationship. One for just the two of them.

This was the beauty of Bunker Hill. She could so easily fall into those fantasies here, let them take shape with no concern of her circumstance. Because when she was in this perfect vacuum chamber all that mattered was the here and now. And for the first time, probably ever, those fantasies could so easily be real because he wasn’t somewhere wandering The Commonwealth. 

This time he was only a room away, standing under the hot spray of the shower. Feeling the water droplets drip down his skin just as she had felt them drip down hers. Running his hands over the sharp lines of his body just as she’d run her hand along her curves. How much she wished he’d been the one running his hands over her curves instead. All things that she shouldn’t be thinking of, not when there were so many lives lost. And certainly not when she was alone with him, here. 

Because Bunker Hill would do what it always did, drown out the rest of the world until all that remained was him and her.

Her teeth were still chattering when she emerged from the bedroom even though she’d dressed in the warmest clothes she had. A pair of black fleece lined leggings, an oversized gray sweater, and her slippers. They’d fit perfectly and were incredibly cozy, making the cold a bit more tolerable. 

She dug through the closet between the bedroom and bathroom with one hand, the other still clutching her vodka. As she pulled out a thick blanket, a large quilt came tumbling down onto her head.

“God dammit Rory,” she grumbled as she tried to push his blanket back into the closet with the bottle. She cautiously stepped back from the closet once it seemed she’d shoved it back far enough. Just as she thought she was in the clear, the blanket came tumbling down unfurling over her head. She pathetically groaned in frustration.

“Think he even knows how to fold?” The scent of him hit her as his warmth washed over her back. His body caged her in as he pulled the blanket off her.

“No,” she sighed as she turned to face him, wrapping her blanket around herself as he folded Rory’s. He wore a black fitted t-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders, loosening a bit over his narrow waist, and a pair of dark green flannel pants. His damp hair hung loosely at his shoulders and he’d shaved the stubble that had peppered his face, making his jaw look even more defined. His cheeks were tinged with pink from the heat of the shower. 

She shrugged. “I guess we should just be happy he put it away for once.”  

He smiled softly at her before his eyes shifted down to her feet. “They fit?”

“Oh, yeah. I love them.” She looked down awkwardly at her slippers, lifting up a foot to show them off as if he didn’t know what they looked like already. “Thank you. I was considering rigging up some space heaters, but I think this may do the trick. As long as I don’t have to deal with cold floors.”

His smile grew as his eyes met hers again. “Good. Can’t have you freezing to death on me.”

“God, that would be such a boring way to go,” she mused as she stepped aside so he could tuck the blanket neatly back in the closet. “I need a cooler ending than that. I feel like a blaze of glory is way more my style. ”

“I suppose you’re right. For the princess of Kingsport to turn into a popsicle as her final act is a bit underwhelming.”

She rolled her eyes as she pushed past him to the couch. “Don’t you start that shit. Like I told Slade, that is absolutely not to catch on. I swear I will burn down all of Goodneighbor if that becomes a thing.” 

Unfortunately, it definitely sounded like it was about to be a thing. Slade had made sure to announce her presence to the entire square as he led her out. “Get the fuck outta the way, got the princess of Kingsport comin’ through. Precious cargo here.”

Followed by lewd jeers from the scum that lived in Goodneighbor, all relishing in the insult.

He’d also proceeded to shoot some dude in the head who happened to get too close to her. As if she was fucking damsel in distress needing saving. And Slade looked like her goddamn hero. 

He put on a good goddamn show. Fucking asshole.

She plopped down on Rory’s couch, the earthy scent of him wrapping her in its comforting embrace. A couple comic books slid out from the pile precariously stacked next to his end table. The kid was a fucking mess. His massive couch, the only one they could find long enough to accommodate his lanky body, was usually covered in his clutter. The last time they’d been here, sometime towards the end of the summer, she’d made him clean him up after she’d slid on a pile of superhero trading cards. Nearly doing a split in the living room, but only managing to pull her groin. 

Funny how she’d been injured but she couldn’t help but feel bad for him after seeing how upset he’d gotten when he’d realized she was hurt. Rory was just that type of person. Sweet, caring, kind, fun loving. Someone you couldn’t be mad at. 

The memory of him leaving the apartment for Kingsport. His sullen eyes, red and puffy, had her bringing the bottle of vodka to her lips.

She tried her best to relax into the liquor, but it was no use. This wasn’t what she was supposed to be doing. She’d prepared herself to be working, caring for people. Not comfortably curled up on the couch, clean and safe.The guilt of it was overwhelming. She took another long swig of vodka, desperate for her buzz to turn to something a bit more mind numbing. Eventually, the liquor had her head swimming, but the thoughts hadn’t faded away as she’d hoped.

Were Gino and Clyde ok? It was so cold out today, were they warm? Had they eaten?

John’s hand on hers pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up to find him sitting beside her on the couch. When she looked at this hand over hers she realized she’d been picking at the skin around her nail, the cuticle a bloody mess. 

“I’m worried about the ghouls,” she grumbled between hiccups. Shit she was more drunk than she’d realized.

His arm wrapped around her as he tucked her into his side. She buried her face into his chest, appreciating how lovely his cotton t-shirt felt against her alcohol flushed skin.

“They survived the Great War, they can make it through this.” The rumble of his low voice radiated through her cheek. 

She wrapped her arms around him, nestling herself tighter to his chest. The vodka stealing her consideration for personal space. “They’re too sweet for Goodneighbor.”

“There was no other option.” He gently brushed his hand over her hair.

“We could have doubled back.”

He shook his head. “You wouldn’t have made it through.”

Heat pricked her cheeks as shame washed over her. It shouldn’t have been about her. “Would you have been able to get them out of the city if I didn’t get hurt?”

“I would have tried if you weren’t there.”

Her brows pinched.

“But, I also don’t think we would have gotten that far without you. I wouldn’t have found Sarah or Bobby either.” The two ghouls he’d picked up making his way through the city. They’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just passing through the city when it erupted around them.  “I wasn’t going to leave the others, not with Rosie being in such rough shape.”

She considered his words, but that little seed of guilt had planted itself. If she wasn’t there, things may have been different. “Rosie deserved better than that.”

“They all did, but at least we gave them a chance.”

Chapter Text

Fucking hell did she feel like shit when she woke up. Her head still pounded from smacking the pavement and she had a crick in her neck. A monstrous yawn escaped her as she dragged her cheek across the scratchy fabric of the couch cushion. The smell of burning tobacco and coffee filled the apartment, coaxing her awake. She cracked an eye open, wincing as the sun assaulted her eyes. Its glittering rays streaming through the large window, casting the apartment in far too much light for her pounding head.

She looked around the apartment, finding John standing at the island, a cigarette tucked between his fingers as he poured two cups of coffee. His hair unbound, tucked behind his ears. Looking far too cheery for this time of morning. “Morning sunshine.”

“Morning,” she grumbled as she pushed off the couch, falling back onto the cushion with a whine as pain shot through her injured hand. 

“You want some whiskey in this?” 

She made a pained groan that he correctly translated as a “fuck yes,” pouring a generous shot of whiskey into both of their cups. He tucked his cigarette between his lips, pinching one eye shut to keep the smoke out as he brought both their coffees over.

She pushed off a bit more gingerly the second time, stumbling a few steps when she got to her feet. Her stiffened vertebrae cracked one by one as she stretched with her hands pressed into her lower back. “How does Rory willingly sleep on that thing?”

“To be fair to the couch, you slept on me most of the night.” He handed her a cup, her still slumbering nerves jolting awake as his fingers brushed hers. “I found the couch to be plenty comfortable.”

“Remind me to never do that again,” she grumbled before taking a sip of her boiling hot coffee. Too desperate for the sweet relief the caffeine and alcohol would bring to give a shit about burning her tongue.

“Absolutely not.” There was a playful glint in his eye that she chose to ignore. Her brain was too fuzzy for flirting, but she loved the idea of burying her head into his chest again nonetheless. Instead, she headed to the window, tucking herself into her seat to wait out her suffering.  

As her brain caught up with her body, finally waking for the day with the first few sips of coffee, a nervous energy washed over her. She hated not being in the loop. Partly because she was fucking nosey, but also because it meant she wasn’t in control. Kate was a planner. Some would say she was a “control freak”. Whatever the hell you wanted to call it, this was like her worst fucking nightmare. Locked in an apartment with zero idea of what was going on outside of this little bubble. All she could do was think.

She had to admit, it was promising that nothing had ambushed them in the night, but that didn’t mean they weren’t being watched. That all seemed to pale in comparison to what could be going down back home. The guys said they’d come back with updates when they could. The most they’d gotten was a vague transmission from Tommy just after sunset confirming all was safe in Kingsport. It had hardly eased her fears. 

Her worry only grew as the day dragged by without any word from anyone. Just Way Back Home playing on repeat. Over and over and over and over again. Slowly driving her insane and fueling her wild imagination. John had tried to turn it down when he thought she wasn’t paying attention, but that sent her right off the deep end thinking there was something wrong. He promised to keep his hands far away from the radio, instead finding it safer to just sit at the island and listen to her wild theories of what could be transpiring out there while she scrubbed the kitchen. He’d offered to help, but again, it was safer with him out of the way. He tasked himself with keeping her mug filled and doing his best to talk her off the ledge when her theories became truly insane. It still didn’t stop her from trying to storm out of the apartment a few times. 

A box of abraxos later, Tommy and Rory came strolling through the door.

“Smells like Kate’s having a mental breakdown,” Tommy said as he shucked off his brown leather jacket, his dark scruffy eyebrows rose as he gave her an amused grin. 

She scowled at him as she tossed her rag down onto the speck she’d been trying to scrub off the floor for the last thirty minutes. “Real funny Tommy.”

“Everyone’s fine, you can chill out.”

That hit a nerve. Telling Kate to “chill out” when she was not chilled out was like poking a yao guai right in the fuckin’ eye. A curse danced on her tongue, but just as she was about to lash out at Tommy, he walked right past her and clapped his hand on John’s shoulder.

“How you holdin’ up?” They smiled at each other, but she could still see it. The concern in Tommy’s eyes, the pain in John’s. They had always seemed to get each other in a way neither she, nor Rory could fully understand.

“She’s kept me pretty high off abraxos fumes, so I’m not complaining.” John shrugged, his forearms still pressed into the island. Playing up the role he knew so well. Completely unbothered. Tommy patted him on the shoulder, their equivalent to a hug, before turning his attention to their liquor collection.

“Well, I guess you won’t be needing this then,” Rory teased with a sly smile as he leaned across the island, waving a canister of jet before John. 

“Now, I didn’t say that.” John snatched the jet out of his hand before Rory could pull it away. He knew Rory’s shit far too well by now. 

Kate was all for happy reunions, but she’d waited long enough for information. She wasn’t waiting a second longer. “What took you guys so long?” She cornered Tommy as he rifled through the liquor.

“Oh, I’m sorry. We were busy cleaning up your mess,” he said, his voice dripping in sarcasm as he poured out two shots of vodka. He handed her one, clinked his own glass to hers and tossed it back. He didn’t bother to wait for her to take hers before he was pouring himself another.

A cringe spread across her face, “that bad?”

“That bad,” he sighed, nodding solemnly. This time when he clinked his glass to hers, she took her shot with him. 

“So what, we’re public enemies number one and two now?” John joked, raising a brow at Tommy as he took the shot he was holding out for him. It amazed her how cavalier he could be, her anxiety would never allow it.

“Oddly enough, not you, just her. In fact, your brother-”

“He ain’t my brother,” John cut him off. Some of that deeply repressed anger bubbling to the surface. 

“Fine, Mayor McDonough .” Tommy ignored John’s cringe at the fucking bizarre title, “said he’s willing to sit down and talk things through with you. Some bullshit about not being able to turn his back on his only family. Her on the other hand,” he pointed to Kate, “she’s public enemy number one through fifty right now.”

“What,” she huffed out as ice ran through her veins. Public enemy wasn’t exactly a title that she needed, not with her genetics.

“McDonough has us by the fucking balls.” He laughed bitterly. “Your father had an urgent meeting with him. He suggested you were acting on Kingsport’s behalf. Taking advantage of their ‘time of transition’ . Made it sound like you were planning a fucking coup.”

John straightened in his seat, finally taking this seriously. He held his palms up before him, “she wasn’t even in Diamond City.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s using this as an excuse to increase tariffs on us, enough that it’s gonna hurt. And, that’s not even the worst of it.”

“Of course it’s not,” she sighed as she planted her ass on the seat next to John.

“Gotta list of shit for us to procure for them. Shit we’d usually charge a lot of caps for. It’s gonna take us time, time we don't have this close to winter. They’re renovating the ghouls’ homes. Getting 'em ready to sell.”

Her face pinched in disgust. “Tommy, no. I’m not doing that. They were our friends.”

“We don’t have a choice,” Rory said softly, anguish painted across his kind face. He was never the voice of reason. It just proved how absolutely fucked they were. “If shit didn’t get stirred up again with Vic, we could probably handle it. We can’t have two settlements breathing down our necks, especially if we’re gonna be scrounging for resources.”

She shook her head at a loss for words.

“The other option is we dissolve any alliance we may have with Diamond City. Kingsport would be banned,” Tommy said with a tight smile.

“That’s fucking extortion!”

Tommy paid no mind to her outrage, dividing the rest of the vodka between their glasses. “So it is.”

“Are we really going to lay down and take this,” John questioned as he pushed out of his seat and paced the kitchen. “He’s the one who should be crucified right now, not her. That wasn’t just a slaughter, it was a fucking genocide. Is the Commonwealth really going to turn a blind eye to that?”

“It’s not the first time,” Rory said as Kate buried her face in her hands. 

“And it won’t be the last,” John argued. “We all know full well where this is headed. First the ghouls, next the entire lower class in Diamond City.” 

“It’s on the citizens of Diamond City, if they want change, they need to make it happen. We have an agreement, we stay out of their shit and they stay out of ours,” Tommy argued, shaking his head.

“That is such bullshit. You know most people there don’t have a voice. If it's allowed to happen in one settlement, who’s gonna stop it from happening elsewhere? Hell, what if the Mayor decides to extend his reach? If the settlements don’t do something about this now, it’s going to become their problem eventually.” John was completely fired up. They’d seen him up and arms before, but never like this. She half expected him to grab his gun and lead them into battle right there.

“Hey, I get it. I’m not happy about this either,” Tommy’s thick commonwealth accent sounded impossibly stronger as his annoyance with this fucked up situation slipped past his toughened exterior. “But what do you want to do? Start a revolution? Half the damn Commonwealth doesn’t trust ghouls to begin with.”

“A revolution might be fun,” Rory chimed in, perking up a bit with the idea of retribution.

“A revolution would be a fucking disaster,” Tommy countered cautiously. 

“It may be what the Commonwealth needs though,” Kate offered softly as she looked up from her hands, shrugging a shoulder as if she didn’t just suggest a life altering idea. Fuck life altering, a well done revolution could alter the region entirely. 

They fell into a strained silence, their eyes shifting between one another in a flurry of unspoken conversations. Shit was getting a bit too real. This wasn’t just some frivolous idea. A revolution was a legitimate, but deadly option.

“You’re both willing to risk everyone in Kingsport for a fight that isn’t even ours to begin with?” Tommy’s voice was hushed, as if concerned someone would hear them in the abandoned building. “We’ve seen this go down before elsewhere, it leads to civil war. We have a nice life. A settlement where families can live free of fear. What more do you want?”

They wanted that for everyone, but that was easier said than done.

“He’s right,” John said somberly, his ashy brows furrowed as he settled back down into the seat beside her once more. “There’s too much at risk. If Kingsport falls, it would only make things worse.” His eyes shifted to hers for just a moment, but flicked back to Tommy’s before she could push the subject. “Any news outta Goodneighbor?” 

“Nothing. Streets are still in chaos in most of Boston. Getting out of the Fens was tough enough even with DC security doubling their patrols. Doubt anyone could even get out of Goodneighbor right now,” Tommy explained as he leaned on the island. “You two need to lay low a little longer. Just until we can be sure about Goodneighbor.”

John sighed as he leaned back in his chair, his finger tapping on the countertop. “We gotta at least give them a send off they deserve. They can’t just be forgotten.”

Rory pushed off the island, grabbed a few bottles of liquor and set them down before them. “I think we can manage that.”

They celebrated the ghouls the best they could. Drinking and dancing, just like the many nights they’d spent with them at the Dugout. Well, not just like those nights. Nothing would ever compare to those nights because the people that made those nights so wonderful were gone. 

It wasn’t fucking fair. 

That sad fact just made the liquor slide down her throat easier. The more she drank, the fuzzier the memories of her friends grew, as did the memories of their deaths. And with the pain washing away, it was so much easier for her to lose herself to the music. 

She’d found so much solace in music over the years. This place was filled with nothing but death, destruction and pain, but music was one of the few beautiful things it had created. Pre-war tapes were the easiest to find, but the music created after the war was her favorite. It was so different. So many new and unique sounds. The depth of the beats, the words, seemed so much richer than anything created before the bombs fell.

People needed an outlet for their pain. Some poured their pain into work. Some turned to drugs. Some took that pain out on others. Some took that pain and used it as fuel for their creativity. She’d always wondered how many masterpieces were created in shotty shacks, dilapidated buildings or around fires, maybe after the heat of battle. The songs dying with the first light of morning, finding their final resting place amongst the ashes, never to be heard again. Musicians rarely had the means to record their life’s work these days. Kate was lucky to have a small collection of mixtapes. Most of them were gifted to her by John. He’d found most of them in the city where he spent most of his time. They were some of her most prized possessions.

Between the alcohol and the music, she couldn’t help but sway with the rhythm. She never could help it, if music was playing she was moving. Even if it was just tapping her foot to the beat. It was like a reflex, like the music was moving her. A force that snaked its way through her body, taking control of her completely. 

John had put on one of her favorites. Something smooth and psychedelic. Oh if only she could handle daytripper right now, she would be in a completely detached state of bliss, but she’d maintained some of her better judgement. Daytripper after the week she’d had would only lead to a truly soul crushing trip. Ego death wasn’t exactly something she could risk right now.

Nevertheless, she fell under the spell of the song. Allowing it to guide her body as she swayed with the beat. Rory danced beside her, enchanted by the rhythm just as intensely as her. 

He was one of her favorite dance partners. The man lacked inhibitions, which she’d always been envious of, even if it made her job a little more difficult at times. He was that friend who she could really let go with.

“You two really don’t know what you’re missing here,” Rory mused as he wiggled his hips.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Tommy said, not bothering to lift his eyes from the playing cards in his hand. Him and John had been locked into some card game that had lasted far too many rounds for her interest. “You motherfucker,” he murmured to John as he placed a card down before them. She had no idea what they were playing, but it sounded like Tommy was losing. Which was surprising considering John had barely looked at the cards he held, his eyes were too busy watching her.

John gave him a devious grin before his gaze returned to her. If the other two noticed how intently he watched her, they didn’t make it known. They never did. 

“You two seem to be having plenty of fun without us,” he said as he leaned back in his chair. His arm draped over the back of the chair, legs spread wide in a way that made her want to crawl between them on her hands and knees. 

Her common sense that had been banished far to the back of her mind was thankful they weren’t alone, because she was drunk enough to try it.

Instead, she did her best to focus on the music and pretend she didn’t see him watching her from over his cards. Despite her best efforts, her eyes still seemed to find his, and she didn’t hate the way she felt under his gaze. It emboldened her. 

He dragged his gaze away from her, the corner of his mouth tipping up just before he gently laid a card down on the table before them.

“Oh fuck off,” Tommy shouted, loud enough that it startled Rory, causing him to stumble.

John didn’t bother taking the time to gloat. “You can leave my caps on the table,” he said as he pushed off the couch. Her eyes went wide as he headed straight for her. “Come on, show me what I’m missing, love.” 

Before she could respond, he was wrapping his arms around her waist.

Any bravado she had banished the second he pulled her flush against him. They’d played this game before, but rarely did he follow up on his heated looks.

He leaned in close, his breath ghosting her ear, “are you really going to get shy on me now?”

Her feet felt like they’d been cemented to the floorboards. She gave him a shy smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “maybe.”

“Fine, I’ll lead then.” A beat later he was swaying with her to the music, leading their steps. It wasn’t long before she relaxed against him, her body melting into his as the music took over again. They’d danced together plenty of times before. Kate danced with most of her friends as much as she could, but John had always been different. They didn’t dance like friends. Rory had commented once that they looked more like they were one step away from fucking, which was exactly what it felt like. Regardless of her wants, he always kept his touches just barely respectful. 

As they danced, their hungry gazes locked, the room seemed to fade away. His hands glided over her hips as she rolled them. The calloused tip of his finger sliding under the hem of her shirt, her bare skin tingling at the contact. She twirled a strand of his soft hair around her finger as they swayed. Their faces drifted closer to one another.

“Can you two get a room,” Tommy blurted, breaking the spell.

She pulled back, her cheeks heating as she remembered they weren’t alone. His grip on her loosening as he shot Tommy a look.

He guided her towards Rory, passing her off to him before he turned back to Tommy. Rory held her far more innocently as he spun her around the room. 

“Oh honey. Don’t be jealous,” John said as held his arms wide to Tommy who was cautiously scooting back on the couch. “If you wanted a dance all you had to do was ask.”

“I didn’t-” John cut him off as he yanked him up to his feet and wrapped his arms around his hips. “Get off me,” Tommy said with a laugh as John spun him around in circles.

“You love it.”

“No I don’t!”

He totally did.

“Let your hair down big guy! Live a little,” Rory called over, as drunkenly swung Kate around enough that she felt a little nauseous. She did her best to keep her composure, not wanting to ruin their fun. It wasn’t often the four of them got to just be the four of them. But her vomiting on the floor would definitely put an end to their partying. 

When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she reached a hand latching onto Tommy’s arm. “Save me,” she pleaded weakly, one spin away from a major party foul. 

“Oh shit,” he chuckled, squirming from John’s hold, “she’s turning green.”

John released Tommy and pointed at Rory, “you, me, on the dance floor. Now.”

“You have such a way with words,” Rory said as he wrapped John up in his long arms. Their height difference was almost comical as John rested his cheek onto Rory’s shoulder. 

Kate and Tommy found safety on his couch as they watched the pair waltz around the apartment. Matching each other's chaotic energy. 

She curled up against his side, using him as an anchor as the room continued spinning around her. 

“Keep an eye on him,” Tommy said, keeping his voice low enough that only she could hear. Although the other two were getting so damn rowdy Tommy could have yelled it and they likely wouldn’t have heard. “He’s not okay.”

His words didn’t register, her mind too gripped by the liquor. “Hmm?” 

Tommy sighed. “God, you’re trashed.”

“Mhm,” she said as she tried to focus on steadying her breathing, the nausea taking hold again.

“Don’t you dare,” he warned as he slipped out from under her, settling her head onto his pillow, the smell of the San Francisco Sunlights he favored oddly comforting.  “You throw up on my couch and you’re finding me another.” He returned a moment later, handing her a bottle of water. The expertly purified liquid settled her churning stomach a second before she lost consciousness. 

She awoke with a start as a hand slid between her neck and the couch.

“Let’s get you to bed,” John whispered as he crouched before her his face inches from hers. “Tommys gotta leave early and you’re taking up his space.”

She looked around as he pulled her upright. Tommy leaned on the kitchen counter, exhaustion lining his face. Rory was snoring away on his couch, a lanky leg slung over the back of the couch.

She was still pretty fucking drunk, but at least she could think somewhat straight. Enough to know she had definitely gone a bit too far with the drinking again.

“Sorry Tommy,” she mumbled as she stood, falling back into the couch as the room spun around her.

“Don’t worry about it. No good send off is complete unless someone passes out where they aren’t meant to.”

There was a hollowness to his words that didn’t quite sound like grief. Whatever was there, she couldn’t make sense of it. Not with her mind still hazy. 

“I’ll just carry you,” John said, scooping her up into his arms. She wouldn’t have protested, if she tried to walk she would have likely face planted. 

She slumped into his chest, her cheek resting on the soft cotton of his shirt. She was starting to get used to that feeling, which was probably a problem, but she didn’t really care. “Night Tommy,” she yawned.

“Night Kate.”

John carried her into the bedroom, gently placing her down on the mattress and tucking her under the covers. “Goodnight, love. Waters here if you need it.” 

“Are you not staying with me?”

“Figured I’d take the window seat.”

“You can’t sleep in the window, you’re gonna fuck up you neck. Come lay with me.”

He hesitated, glancing back at the open bedroom door. She found herself hoping he would go close it. A touch of disappointment ran through her when he crawled into bed, leaving the door open instead.

She rolled onto her side as he curled up behind her. When he didn’t immediately wrap his arm around her, she reached back and did it for him. He huffed out a laugh as she wiggled herself back against him.

“You’re warm,” she said as she relaxed against his chest, her head resting on his arm. 

“You can steal my warmth anytime you want.” He wrapped his arm tighter around her waist, his hand tucked under her ribs. 

She smiled to herself. It sounded nice. Being able to do this whenever she wanted. It felt so lovely being tucked against his chest. Her senses were overwhelmed with him. His smell. The soft sounds of his breathing. The feeling of him pressed against her back, his warmth seeping into her. The way her body fit perfectly against him. 

As his hand twitched against her ribs she realized how close the back of his thumb was to brushing the underside of her breast. Then she couldn’t help but think about how her ass was tucked against him. And how she could definitely feel him. She fought the urge to push back into him more, but she needed something more. So she trailed her fingers across his arm. Her curiosity grew as goosebumps formed below her touch and his breathing grew shallow.

Her own breath stuttered as she felt him hardened against her.

“Shit,” he rolled onto his back, his arm still trapped under her head. “I’m sorry. I’ll just go lay in the living room.”

She rolled to face him, her hand going to his chest. Even in the dark she could see the faint blush staining his cheeks. “It’s okay. I don’t mind. Please don’t go.”

He studied her for a moment before he nodded, pulling her against him so her head rested on his chest. 

As she laid there, listening to the steady drum of his beating heart, her fingers drew circles into his chest. With each pass of her fingers, his body relaxed beneath her, his breathing growing soft and steady. His head lolled to the side until his chin rested against her forehead. She was about to attempt to sleep when his fingers started tracing circles into her bicep, goosebumps of her own forming under his touch.

Every nerve in her body wound tight as he softly stroked her arm. A need growing low in her belly. He affected her just as badly as she’d affected him, it just wasn’t as obvious. 

Her fingers continued their ministrations, but her hand slowly drifted lower. His head fell back into the pillow as he breathed in slowly through his nose while the pads of her fingers ran over the twitching muscles of his abdomen. By the time her fingers hit his waistband, both of their hearts were pounding in synchrony. 

Before they could trail lower, his hand wrapped around her wrist. “You’ve had too much to drink. We can’t. Not like this.”

She felt in control. She felt like she wanted this, like she was sick of not having more. But he deserved to feel comfortable about it. And given all the mixed signals she’d given him over the years, she didn’t blame him for questioning it. 

He rested her hand back atop his chest, wrapping his hand around hers and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight.”

Despite all logic, the sting of the rejection was worse than she would have expected. 

Chapter Text

“We’ll be back for you in a few days. You better be ready to hit the road when we get here,” Tommy said as he stepped out the door. “Do me a favor though? Take it easy while you can. We will be fine, we’ll get caught up.”

“I don’t need a vacation right now,” she argued, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Can’t give you vacation, but you can have a break. I get it’s not ideal, but try and enjoy it.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She glanced over Tommy’s shoulder to find Rory swaying in the hall, a hand braced on the wall beside him. His head hung limply, his hair a scruffy mess.A green hue awash across his lightly freckled face.  “You good over there?”

He grumbled and gave her what she could only describe as a simultaneous shake and a nod. Poor Rory. He always tried to keep up with her. Rory could drink her under a table, but she could recover far faster. Not that she didn’t get hangovers, but they were usually tolerable. Really helped her earn her name as a party animal. No one needed to know her system flushed out the liquor faster than normal humans. A tiny upside to this whole ghoul baby shit.

Tommy gave her a tight smile, his hand coming up to ruffle her hair. She shoved him away with a small laugh, “don’t make any deals I wouldn’t.”

“Have I ever?”

“No, you’re gonna be great when you take over for me one day.”

He hummed, not in agreement. More like he didn’t really know how to respond to that one. She’d been dropping hints for years. Tommy was more than capable of taking over for her. He had just enough edge to him that people didn’t try to fuck with him, and when they did, they didn’t get far. When she’d first brought it up, he’d laughed it off. Lately it seemed he wasn’t so sure she was joking.

Which she wasn’t. 

She watched as the pair disappeared through the wall of debris they’d created to hide the apartment. Lingering there long enough to ensure they got through the building safely. Her colt .45 tucked into the waistband, just in case. 

Decent piece. Wasn’t too hard to come across, they’d been pretty common around world war II, but this one was in incredible shape for being so damn old. Her father had gifted it to her for her eighteenth birthday. Had the thing all polished up, modified with a new sight. It had served her well, but after over three centuries of life, it was starting to show its age. Didn’t matter that she’d cleaned it religiously or was diligent on repairs. She couldn’t stop the rust spot from blooming wider over the barrel. Everything succumbed to the passage of time eventually.

The dying squeal of a mole rat cut through the eerie quiet followed by the muffled gag of Rory and a “get it together,” from Tommy. A moment later the front door creaked open. She headed for the window, curling up on the cushion to watch the guys head off to the settlement below. The sun had just crested over the ocean, the orange glowy peeling back the blanket of night. Still early enough that most of Bunker Hill hadn’t risen for the day. It was the only place they could keep their Brahmin safely, and a couple loads of water ensured the settlement didn’t ask any questions.

Desperation clung to her as she waved at Tommy as he cast a glance over his shoulder. Envious of his freedom. He turned back to the road ahead of him, not returning her wave, but she could imagine him mentally throwing one up to her. Wouldn’t have been smart to risk giving up their hideout. Rory swayed beside him as stepped through the settlement gate. Hopefully after he got some food into him he’d be in better shape.

As much they partied, rarely did they go as hard as they had last night. Partying on the clock still required some semblance of decorum. People weren’t going to do business with Kate if their caravan made fools of themselves on the regular.  Just like she had last night.

And, despite John getting to experience her being a sloppy drunk a time or two, she rarely had to face him the next day, and never alone. By the next time she’d see him, they’d both had time to forget just how embarrassing she’d been. Now she was stuck here having to face him with the haze of liquor fully cleared from her mind, shame clouding her thoughts instead. 

She pushed off her seat and headed for the bedroom to check on him. He slept soundly in their bed, his arms wrapped around the pillow she’d slid into her place when she’d crawled out of bed. She was so used to seeing him so animated, full of energy, but this version of him tugged at her heart. His face slack with sleep, completely at ease. John gave off the impression that he didn’t have a care in the world, but she knew better than that.

As much as he was usually surrounded by people, he spent most of his time alone. While he shared an apartment with Jimmy, they didn’t spend much time together. Jimmy spent more time passed out in bars than in his own damn bed. And from what she knew, John didn’t spend much time there either. She wasn’t exactly sure how much time John spent in his apartment, but he was rarely there when she passed through DC. Still, it was the first place she’d go to when she passed through. 

She didn’t know where he went, where he spent most of his days. There had been other women who had filled his time, sometimes for months at a time, always stoking her jealousy. He never told her about them in great detail, but she’d heard. Even ran into him at a bar with one of his flings once. That had been a fucking night, she’d been sure to serve up her attitude on a silver platter to him that night. 

Other than that, she had no clue what he did with his time, but he always had caps. She knew he’d picked up legitimate work here and there, but it never seemed to be his thing, and it wasn’t enough to keep him with a steady income. With the gifts he brought her, the things he found, she knew he moved around Boston, but that was about it. No matter, even illegitimate work had its place out here. Someone had to operate the seedy underground and it seemed likely he had a hand in it somehow. 

Wherever he spent his days, she doubted he had access to a good meal. The guys had brought fresh food for them. Meat, eggs, vegetables, even some fresh baked bread with a little note from her mother. 

You better not bring back any leftovers. Stay safe. I love you. 

Xoxo,

Ma

Guilt weighed on her as her mother’s voice filtered through her mind. Soft, sweet, comforting. The woman had somehow retained her good nature after everything the world had put her through. Physically, she may have been weakened, but mentally she was one of the most resilient people she’d ever known.

Kate did her best to put together an edible meal. She could cook, but it didn’t mean she was good at it. It wasn’t like she had to be. The settlements were always eager to feed them when they rolled in, and her mother made it her personal goal to send them off ten pounds heavier than when they’d arrived. She’d even sneak some snacks into Kate’s pack before she would head on a run, making sure there was plenty for the guys.

Regardless of Kate’s inexperience, she managed to fry up some eggs. Only burning the edges of one, which she plated up for herself. She had to give herself a pat on the back for toasting the bread to perfection, a nice golden crust forming on it. Her mother would have been proud. 

Kate was serving up two cups of coffee for them when John emerged from the bedroom. His hair tucked behind his ears, still frizzed with sleep. 

“How long have you been awake,” he asked, his voice hoarse as he stepped through the door, rubbing a weary eye.

“Long enough to make a peace offering,” she replied, holding out a plate and coffee for him, “I’m sorry about that shit last night.”

“Oh please, you can objectify me all you want.”

She leveled him a look as he approached her. His hands gripped the plate and cup, but he didn’t pull them from her hold. 

“Just do it a bit more sober next time and I’ll let you get past my waistband,” he said as he leaned in closer to her, the plate pressing into their chests. She held his stare, not letting him flirt his way out of taking this apology. “Seriously, don’t feel bad about it. I almost let you.”

She pushed the plate into his hands, forcing him to take it from her so she could grab her own plate. “But you didn’t.”

He relented, giving her a soft smile at that. Both of them sat down at the counter to enjoy their more than edible breakfast. The partially burnt egg wasn’t even that bad.

“So, what’s on your schedule for today,” he asked between bites.

She shrugged, “I promised Tommy I’d take it easy for a few days.”

“Good, I’m holding you to that now.”

She waved him off, “You’re both being dramatic, but I am willing to try it. Think I might work on unclogging my pores. It’s going to be a project so I figure that’ll eat up my morning.”

“And after?”

“I don’t know. What else do people do to unwind?”

“I usually just do drugs,” he shrugged. “So I take it you got no wild plans for tonight then?”

“I really do think if I scrubbed that spot on the tile a bit longer, I could get it out.”

He leveled her a look. “Or give the radroaches in 2B a skylight.” 

She took a sip of her piping hot coffee, “yeah, you’re probably right. Well, looks like I got nothin’ on the agenda then.” She didn’t know why that thought made her cringe.

“Well, let me take you on a date.”

“A date?”

“Yeah, like the wining and dining typa deal.”

She chuckled, “is that normally how you ask a woman on a date?”

“This is my first time actually.”

She let out a loud laugh in disbelief, “yeah okay.” She was grinning so hard at that ridiculous thought that her cheeks hurt.

He leaned back, slinging his arm over the back of his chair, smirking at her, “I’m serious, I just pick them up in the bars. You know how good I am at reeling them in with some thrilling conversation. Have no problem keeping you hooked most nights.”

That had her blushing, her lips pressed together in an attempt to hide her smile, but it was no use. His brow lifted in amusement. 

“You are such a cocky motherfucker,” she chuckled as she pushed off her seat to bring her empty plate to the sink, shaking her head as she passed by him.

As she placed her plate in the sink, his chair scraped across the floor. Bare feet padded up behind her behind her. When she turned he was standing before her. She leaned back, her arms crossing over her chest as he gripped the sink on either side of her hips. “I’m serious, let me make you dinner. No whiskey involved, keep your mind clear.”

A ‘ clear for what? ’ was on the tip of her tongue, but the way he was looking at her, heavy lidded with the cool fire alight in his eyes, stole her courage. 

She was able to muster a casual, “it’s a date then,” before pushing off the sink and brushing past him and retreating to the bathroom. 

Kate sat perched on the bathroom counter, her foot braced on the sink. She rubbed lotion into the stubborn dry patch that had formed on her ankle. She had meant it when she said her skin was a fucking project. One that she doubted she was going to fully tackle today. She sighed as she looked up into the mirror. Her own reflection, looking so foreign to her, stared back at her. Pampering herself had been one of her guilty pleasures in life, but she’d let that fall to the waist side months ago in a last ditch effort to speed up her aging, but it didn’t work. 

It felt like a massive waste of time. Doing this shit made her feel good, one of the few things she’d had for herself. Some of her first memories she had were of her mother running creams and oils through her hair, twisting the coils around her fingers. Kate reached for her bottle of curl cream her mother made her, smoothing it between her hands before running her fingers through her damp hair. She spiraled a curl around her finger, just as her mother would, letting it fall down her collar bone, but it didn’t have the same bounce it had when she was young. Age and length had softened the coils.

With her skin practically gleaming from all the creams and lotions she’d used, her hair untangled and hanging in damp ringlets, there wasn’t much left she could do with the supplies she’d kept at the apartment. Getting back to feeling fully herself was going to take time. She mentally noted that she was going to have to ask her mother to whip something special up for this. 

With nothing left to keep her tucked away in the bathroom, she sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees as she rested her cheek atop them, studying her reflection in the mirror. This was not what she would have chosen to look like on her first date with John. Drier and frizzier than she’d normally preferred for herself. Fuck. She wasn’t even supposed to have a first date with John. But Bunker Hill had her questioning why that was such a bad idea. After everything they’d been through this past week, she was likely in far too many people’s crosshairs. The thought of dying without going on a date with John McDonough, even if it was just in their living room, hurt a bit too much. 

So fuck it, she was going on a date with the man. They deserved that at the very least. 

But the real problem that kept her ass firmly planted on the counter, was her outfit choice. She crawled off the sink to reexamine exactly how fucking bad it was.

On the rare occasions she had at home, she just wore her most comfortable outfit. A tank top and baggy pair of sweats, rolled at the waist. An outfit that was completely appropriate for doing paperwork alone in her shack. So when she’d grabbed a change of clothes, planning to do nothing but unwind, she hadn’t really given her selection a second thought.

But now, as she stared in the mirror, she realized the white tank top she’d selected was far too tight and far too thin to be considered appropriate when she was sharing the apartment with John, even if they were going on a date later. Some things were best left to the imagination, and this left nothing to the imagination. Hell, this thing would have been racy even if she’d worn a bra with it. She adjusted the top, as if it would fix the situation. 

Her damp clothes that she’d worn hung on the shower behind her, freshly washed and taunting her. If she’d stayed in the bathroom any longer, he was bound to start getting concerned. Her only hope was booking it for the bedroom and praying that he didn’t see her.

She gave herself a hardened look in the mirror, trying to manifest some confidence. It worked for about a half a second, until her gaze dropped down to her tits on full display. Reluctantly she turned to the door and took a deep breath, readying herself to run for it. Just before she turned the handle she looked up to find John’s grey zip up sweatshirt hanging on the door. 

Her shoulders dropped as she let out a sigh of relief, “oh thank god.”

She strolled out of the bathroom with her confidence once again restored. The sweater perfectly positioned just barely hanging off a shoulder. The zipper pulled up enough to hide anything too scandalous while still revealing just enough. 

John sat at the island, staring down at the cards before him. Locked into a game of solitaire as he puffed away on a cigarette. “Thought you might have washed down the drain,” he commented, barely glancing up at her before returning to his game. A beat later his eyes flicked back up to her, his lips parting ever so slightly.

“Just my troubles,” she said nonchalantly, pretending not to be affected by his gaze as she cracked a beer.

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing, I’m just realizing life is too short to not do the things that make me happy.”

His crooked smile widened, “like wearing my clothes?”

She shrugged. “It looked cozy and I didn’t think you’d mind.”

“I don’t.” He sat up a little taller in his chair, very blatantly checking her out. “Looks better on you anyways.”

She did a little spin, looking at him over her shoulder through her lashes. Playing it up.

His smile widened, “a lot better.”

“Good.” She leaned on the counter, knowing full well her cleavage looked damn good. His eyes drank her in. “Cause this is awfully comfy. Watch those sweats.” She pointed a beer towards the sweatpants he was wearing, “think I might take those next.”

He took a sip of his beer, his eyes trailing down her body, giving her a lovely ego boost. “Be my guest.”

John and Kate suffered from the same affliction. They were both massive flirts, which made being locked away together…interesting. She’d tried to “relax”, but it was so fucking difficult around him. It was like the moment she would start to settle, feel her muscles loosening, when he would say something provocative, which she obviously had to return. Or he’d give her a heated look, which she would bask in graciously. Or he’d brush past her, close enough that she could feel the heat of his skin on hers, which he seemed to have to do a lot in one day. So did she actually.  

The tension had built to an insurmountable level. So much so that when he’d pushed off the couch and announced he was heading for a shower, she nearly stood up to follow him. 

In a desperate attempt to distract herself she’d selected a book at random off the shelf. Of course it turned out to be a romance. Actually she was six chapters in when she realized it was straight smut. Smut had never been her thing, she didn’t see the excitement in it, but the words had her questioning her entire, very boring, sex life. She didn’t even realize they made books quite like this one. If she had to guess, Rory had put it there as some hilarious prank. 

And he would be rolling if he realized she’d found this book at the worst possible time. Or maybe it was the best, because she was incredibly into it. 

As the throuple got into some absolutely jaw dropping position she leaned further into the counter. She was completely engrossed in the filth until her cigarette that was tucked between her fingers slipped away. Her eyes shot up to find John sitting before her, puffing away on her cigarette. A coy smile playing on his face. His damp hair tucked behind his ears. She narrowed her eyes at him and reached to pull another from her pack.

“Oh, sorry. Here,” he said, innocently, as he passed back the cigarette. She tucked it between her lips again and slid her pack over to him. 

He didn’t reach for it, instead tilting his head to the side as he asked, “what are you reading that's got you all flushed?”

“What?” She touched her hand to her cheek, feeling the heat against her knuckles.

“Your chest too,” he added, chuckling as her eyes widened. 

He reached over and snatched the book out from under her. She was sure the redness drained from her face the second his eyes hit the paper. An excited smile spread across his face. With his eyes still locked on the page, wonderment spreading across his face, his hand shot out and snatched her cigarette. He took a drag then pointed down to the page, looking up with her amusement glittering in his eyes. “Holy shit,” he said on an exhale.

“I didn’t know what I was getting myself into,” she groaned, leaning down to bury her head in her arms. A moment later, a tap on her hand had her looking up. He held out her cigarette for her, but when she didn’t take it right away he tucked it between her fingers. She pushed up, leaning on an elbow, smoking her cigarette while she watched him in horror as he read the filthy words. The same words that had her pushing her thighs together just minutes ago. 

“Kate Lockley, you dirty girl.” He shook his head, very much entertained. “There’s sword crossing in this thing.”

She pressed her hands against her eyes, groaning again. He plucked the cigarette from her.

“Hey, it’s okay to be into this shit, I mean,” he tucked the cigarette between his lips and traced his finger along what she guessed was a particularly salacious line, “woo, I get it.”

She looked back up at him, a part of her short circuiting at his beyond heated gaze, smoke curling from his lips.

“I don’t know if I’m exactly into that,” she said shyly, taking their cigarette back from him, “I just think it’s an interesting concept. I mean, why should she have to choose between two men she wants? If a man wanted to have sex with two women, no one would bat an eye, but a woman having sex with two men is taboo. Doesn’t make any sense to me. If anything I find it extremely empowering.” 

He reached over to the pack of mentats before her on the counter. “That sounds like you broke into the mentats stash.”

She shrugged a shoulder, “helps me fall into the story more. Picture things better.”

“You are into it!” 

She reached out and snapped the book shut. “Oh give me a break, you said you’re into it too.” She stormed off to the bookshelf. There was no way she was going to be able to finish the book after that.

“Hey, where are you going with that? Why don’t you bring that back over here and we can start a book club. I’m really interested in all your thoughts on the subject matter.”

She was becoming increasingly confident that she was going to pass away before they even got a shot at that first date.

Chapter Text

“Can I please help,” she begged, watching John cut some tatos. 

The corner of his mouth lifted in a lopsided grin, “no.”

She gave him a pleading look. Doing nothing wasn’t in her wheelhouse. 

“You really need a job?”

“Yes, I can’t let you do all the work.”

He set the knife down on the counter, wiping his hands on the rag draped over his shoulder as he turned to her. She gasped as he gripped her hips and pushed her back so she was sitting on the countertop. Her breath hitched when he pushed between her thighs and leaned in close enough that their noses nearly touched. “I need you to do something really important for me,” he said, his voice low and gravely. Her lips parted as he tightened his grip on her hips, “sit there and look pretty.” 

She leveled him a look that brought back that lopsided grin of his. “You know, I’d normally be offended by that.”

He stepped back, returning to his chopping. “But you’re not now.”

She crossed a leg and leaned back into the cabinets, resting her hands daintily on her knee, “not even a bit.”

He chuckled, “actually I do have something you can do. Reach into the cabinet, top shelf, all the way in the back. Got a bottle of wine tucked back there.”

She twisted around, sitting on her knees to reach the top shelf. Wobbling a bit as her knee crunched against the hard countertop, but his hand braced her lower back, steadying her. She smiled down at him before returning to rummaging through the cabinet. “Wow, you really hid this well.”

“I had to hide it from Rory. You know how he is. Takes whatever sparks his interest.”

“Top shelf is usually the worst place to hide things from him.”

“If I put it on the bottom shelf, you definitely woulda found it and I wanted to save it for something special. Not like he is going to put effort into digging through the cabinet anyways.”

Rory wasn’t exactly lazy, but he wasn’t an overachiever either. A trait many in Kingsport shared. It was her family's own damn fault. Her and her father had a bad habit of cleaning up after everyone else. If something didn’t get done, or didn’t get done the right way, one of them would swoop in and fix it. The people of Kingsport were far too used to their cushy lifestyle. Although, Rory did try harder than most, so she couldn’t really complain.

Glasses clinked together as she dug through the dark and dusty cabinet until she felt a firm bundle of fabric. She pulled it out, careful not to knock any of the glasses over and sat back on the counter, letting her legs dangle off the side once more. She peeled back the cloth, revealing a bottle of red wine. Intricate calligraphy faded on the peeling label. “This looks fancy. Where’d you find it?”

He took it from her with a mischievous smile, “found a safe buried under some rubble in one of those old highrises near DC. Only things in it were wads of cash and this. Figured it had to be good.” He popped the cork and poured some into the pan that had been warming on the cooktop, “want some?”

“Of course.” Kate was a sucker for a good red wine.

John poured her a glass and passed it over before pouring one for himself.

Kate took a sip, sighing as the dark, fruity liquid slid over her tongue. Prewar wines were her favorite. Such bold flavors. Made with ingredients completely foreign to her, ones she’d only ever read about in books. “This tastes like whoever bought this ended up in a vault after.”

“Poor bastards,” John said over his glass, the pan sizzling away on the stove, “Ah well, cheers to them.”

As much as she hated not being able to help, she did enjoy watching him. He looked so relaxed in the kitchen. Like he genuinely enjoyed it. He’d seared up a couple of radstag steaks for them, paired with mashed tatos. The apartment was too small for a real dining table and the counter felt too informal, so they enjoyed their meals at the coffee table. Both of them sat on the floor adjacent to each other. It wasn’t fancy, but it was nice to be able to face him while they ate. Fancy wasn’t really what they were aiming for anyways. They hadn’t even bothered changing out of their sweats. 

“You can cook,” she marveled as the radstag melted in her mouth. “Like, really fucking well.”

He laughed, “gee, don’t look so shocked.”

“I just mean, you’re never home. I just assumed you didn’t have much experience. That’s my excuse at least.”

He shrugged, “I don’t do it often, but when I’m home, I like to have a decent meal.”

“Why are you never home?”

He raised a brow at her, “talk about pot meet kettle.”

“Yeah, but you know why I’m never home. Why are you never home?”

“I wouldn’t call that place my home.”

“Then where is your home?”

He shrugged, “I guess I don’t really have one. Prefer to spend my days roaming.”

“I can understand that.”

“What, you don’t feel at home in Kingsport?”

“Eh,” she said between bites, “it’s fine for now. I mean, I grew up there, so it will always have a place in my heart. But I don’t think I could ever call Kingsport my home, just the place I rest my head for now.”

“You say that like you don’t plan on being around for long. Better not be planning on running away on me.”

Her eyes flicked up to his. Curiosity swirling in his piercing gaze. 

Not a fucking word.  

But she wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell someone. The only people she had ever discussed her condition with were her parents, Uncle Phil and Aunt Verna. Not even Sammy was aware of how different she was. She knew if she told him he’d get it, but was it worth it? 

Her DNA was the type of thing people would kill to get a hold of. Keeping those she cared about in the dark was safer for them.

John had already been through enough lately. This wasn’t something he needed now. They only had a few days of relative peace. She wasn’t going to ruin that with her problems.

So she gave him a reassuring smile. “I just prefer my life on the road. Got a different view of The Commonwealth everyday. Can’t imagine anything better than that.”

He returned her smile, “I couldn’t agree more.”

Their conversation drifted into happier, safer territory as they finished their meal. Just like during all of those stolen nights together in the bars. 

She leaned in close, her knees tucked below her, her chin resting on her hand as he spun his tales of the adventures he’d been on across The Commonwealth. His arms draped across the cushions of Rory’s couch with his legs outstretched below the coffee table. 

What a life. While Kate spent her days traveling the region, it was always with a purpose. There were deadlines to meet and if she didn’t people could suffer. Clean water wasn’t something people could go without. It meant that as much as she wanted to, she couldn’t explore. Not even when she was out doing side work, procuring items. Her only goal was getting what she needed and getting the hell out of wherever she’d been searching. 

But him? He did whatever the fuck he wanted.

“You should come with me sometime,” he offered with a hesitant smile. 

She could say what she always did, that she was too busy, because she was. But fuck did that idea sound wonderful.

“Maybe in the spring,” she said, returning his smile.

He nodded, his smile widening, “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

“It can be our second date.”

His brows shot to his forehead, “you’re gonna make me wait almost six months for a second date?” 

“Oh let’s be real, this was not our first date.”

“What do you mean?”

“How many nights have we sat and done exactly this? Finding some excuse to sneak off together and then talking all night long.”

His brows furrowed, “I thought this was something different!”

“It is! And it’s been great, but it feels familiar. In a good way.”

He pursed his lips and looked up, considering her words. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Still the first date I’ve ever asked you on.”

“I will give you that, and it’s been my favorite date so far.”

“Mine too,” he said a soft smile tugging at his lips. His eyes trailed over her, studying her for a moment. Whatever he saw had that soft smile stretched into a roguish grin. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the table beside hers. She made no move to pull back, not shying away from how close he was. He reached out and caught a strand of her hair watching as he twirled the curl around his finger. When his eyes met hers again a cool fire was burning bright in his lidded gaze. “I don’t think I can wait that long for another date with you though.”

She leaned in closer, giving him a sly smile, “why are we planning our next date when this one isn’t over yet? I’m very interested in what you had in mind next.”

He chuckled, his tongue tracing across his bottom lip. “I gotta be honest, the only things I have running through my head after this are a bit different then how our dates usually end.”

“Oh,” she purred, her brows raising, “and what would that be?”

His head tilted to the side, “how's your head feeling?”

“Fine.”

He drifted closer. Her heart thumped in her chest.

“Wine ain’t getting to ya?”

“Nope,” she replied. His gaze dipped down to her mouth as she bit her bottom lip. “Heads all clear.”

“Perfect,” he said as he closed the tiny distance between them. Her eyes fluttered shut as his silken lips met hers in a tentative kiss. His hand slid up the back of her neck, pulling her against him more. Her breaths became shaky when his tongue swiped out and traced the seam of her lips. Before she could part for him he pulled away. She watched him in confusion as he pushed himself back and settled against Rory’s couch. 

“Come here,” he said as he tapped a hand on his lap, holding his other out for her.

She smiled as she crawled over to him, taking his hand as she swung her leg over his and straddled him. When she was settled on his lap, his hands slid up her sides to grip her hips. His touch sent a pulse low. 

She looked down to find him watching her with that lidded stare that had her belly doing flips. God he looked so damn confident. It had her questioning if she was out of her depths with this one.This wasn’t her usual M.O., this was not a quick fuck. 

She’d never really understood the big deal about sex. It felt good, people did it, whatever. Even losing her virginity had been more about getting it out of the way than something she actually desired. The rest of it just felt like pomp and circumstance, but this. This was something else entirely. 

Her heart pounded so hard it felt like it was going to tear out of her chest, nearly dizzying. She floundered there, as if she’d never done this before. His hand reached up brushing the strands of hair off her shoulder to expose her neck. Her cheeks flushed as his fingers drifted over her fluttering pulse point. “You’re nervous.” It wasn’t a question. 

She gave him a tiny, shy smile, “a bit.”

The corner of his mouth tipped up, “Why?”

She huffed out a laugh, “You just have more experience with this.”

“What do you mean? You’ve done this before.”

“Oh god,” she groaned as her hand covered her eyes. She steeled herself and looked back up at him, but she couldn’t hold his amused gaze. “Yes, I’ve had sex before, but the sex I have is usually quick. Not all of this.” She waved her hands around, cause really the last twenty-four hours had felt like foreplay. 

He squeezed her hips a bit tighter. “Oh, we’re having sex? And here I thought you were gonna just let me fondle you finally.”

She tried to swat him away, far too embarrassed for this, but he caught her wrist. She stilled as he kissed her palm then flattened it across his chest. Directly over his racing heart. So intense the beats radiated through her palm. He softened, his thumb brushing over her wrist. “I’m nervous too,” he said, his voice far gentler, more vulnerable than what she was used to from him.

“It feels like a big deal,” she offered with a shrug as she studied her hand splayed across his black tee shirt, wondering what it might look like pressed against his bare chest. 

He released her wrist to rest his hand on the back of her neck, gently pulling her close until his lips were a breadth away from hers. “It is,” he murmured before pulling her against him.

The kiss he gave her was the type of thing she’d imagined predating the creation of their universe. A kiss that had her pitying all the women before her, ones who’d never know what it felt like to be kissed by him like this . A kiss that chased away her nerves and had her parting for him without a second thought. 

Somehow after all these years, neither of them seemed in any hurry. No, they were savoring this. She’d never really enjoyed kissing all that much. It was an art form that most failed to grasp the subtleties of, but not him. She could kiss him for hours.

Tentative kisses became insistent, ones with teeth and tongue. Insistent kisses that lead to cautious touches over clothes. Touches that felt like they would burn her clothes away. Anticipation and desire grew to a rolling boil inside her. She cursed the baggy sweats she wore that kept her from feeling him.

“I want more,” she begged against his mouth. 

He let out a groan as he broke away, looking up at her. “Rory would kill us if we messed around on his couch.” 

That fact didn’t stop his hands from creeping up the front of his sweatshirt she wore and slowly tugging down the zipper. 

“Thank god we have a whole bedroom to ourselves,” she mused as she leaned back to give him a better view. She watched him as his eyes tracked the zipper. His lips parted as the sweatshirt started to slip from her shoulder.

He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as his gaze fixated on her breasts pressed tightly against the sheer fabric. “I’ve been waiting for that fucking sleeve to slip all damn day.”

She chuckled, “now you get why I really stole your sweatshirt.”

His hands slid up her back, pulling her towards him so he could nip at the bare skin of her chest. A shiver danced down her spine when he growled, “no more sweatshirts.”

“But what if I get cold?” 

Her head fell back as his mouth dropped to her cleavage, at the point where her shirt met her skin. 

“Honestly, that doesn’t sound half bad,” he said against her as his hands creeped further up her back. Fingertips skimming over the line of her shirt to the bare skin of her upper back. 

Before he could unwrap her any further, she pushed off his lap. She held out a hand for him, dragging him up to stand before her. She turned, tugging him towards the bedroom, but he tugged her back against him before she could get far. His hand fisted her hair, holding her there, “by the time you hit that bed I plan on having all these clothes off.” 

Always a man of his word, he did try to get all her clothes off by the time he pushed her back onto the bed. And he kept his mouth on her the entire walk to the room. He probably could have had her tank top and panties off if she hadn’t grown inpatient and started stripping his clothes off too.

She hit the mattress with a bounce and pushed up onto her elbow, scooting herself back to the pillows as she watched him finish stripping down. Her mouth went dry as his thick length sprang free of his sweats as they fell to the floor.

He crawled into bed, his hands walking up either side of her body as he settled between her legs. He took her wrists in his hands, pinning them on either side of her head as he tipped down, kissing down her neck hungrily. “I’ve been picturing you like this all fucking day.” His hips pressed into hers. He groaned as his hard, bare cock pressed against the thin fabric of her damp panties. 

She gasped as his mouth closed over her clothed nipple, the warmth seeping through the fabric as he flicked the sensitive nub with his tongue. Her back arched, pushing herself into him more. 

He released one of her wrists, his hand sliding up under her tank top, brushing over her bare breast as he pushed the tank top up to expose her to him. Her body rejoiced as his mouth finally explored her bare skin. Teasing her stiffened nipples with soft kisses before closing his lips around them. The flicks of his tongue sent pulses straight to her center that had her hips grinding into him with need.

She whimpered as he rolled to his side, a chill running through her as the cool air licked at her bare skin and soaked panties. “Definitely not nervous anymore.”

“Neither are you,” she breathed out as his fingers hooked the band of her panties and slid them down her legs enough for them to kick them off.

He let out a sinful chuckle as his finger trailed down her belly until his fingers were sliding over the soft curls. “No. I’m just excited now.”

Her breaths trembled as his fingers slid down her center. “Seems like you are too,” he murmured the timbre of his voice vibrating through his chest into her side, dancing across her skin. She sucked in a sharp breath as he slid a thick finger into her. 

“I’ve always wondered something,” he murmured as he slowly pumped into her. “Have you ever laid in this bed, wrapped up in the smell of me, and touched yourself?”

As if that wasn’t enough to steal her breath away, he slipped a second finger in, pumping into her faster. Heat rose in her chest and face as her pleasure grew, her mind remembering all the times she had done just that. His fingers curled inside her, hitting that same spot she would, but so much fucking better. It made her forget how to speak. All she could do was moan and nod. 

“Dirty girl,” he growled, pressing a thumb against her clit. 

The wave of pleasure that rocked over her had her clenching around him. Her breaths came in heavy pants as he brought her higher, rocking his fingers into her. He leaned down, catching her nipple in his mouth. Her belly tightened as he rolled the taut bud between his teeth. Nothing had ever felt this good. Far more intense than anything she’d done to herself. So overwhelming that she couldn’t help but fight against the pressure building inside her.

He sat back to watch her, a hand massaging into the muscle of her thigh, easing the growing tension, “let go, fall into it.”

She hesitated for a moment, weary of how intense it all felt, but she trusted him. So, she let herself fall, and fuck, was she glad she did. A keening sound tore from her throat as the orgasm took her, her hands fisting in the sheets. Waves of pleasure crashing over her unlike anything she’d ever experienced. 

“Oh fuck, just like that. Good girl.” His praise only amplified the already mind blowing orgasm.

Her eyes pinched shut as stars filled her vision, her limbs going heavy as a buzz filled her ears. She may have come twice, it was all so much she couldn’t really tell. She just knew it felt fucking amazing and his fingers worked to drag every last bit from her. Never had she come like this. Even her own fingers didn’t compare to him, this was an experience that had her…seeing constellations.

She let out a breathy laugh at the realization, remembering that night at the bar he promised to give her exactly this. “Orion's belt.”

“I am a man of my word,” he chuckled. His fingers slipped from her, her body twitched. When she opened her eyes again, he was hovering over her. A light sheen sweat glistened over his brow, his cheeks flushed, a lopsided grin on his face.

She reached up, brushing away a sandy strand of hair that had fallen in front of his face. He was beautiful. Truly.

“That was,” she sighed, her head falling back into the pillow, her limbs still too heavy to move, her mind too fuzzy to even finish her sentence.

“Do you want me to let you rest,” he asked and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

“God no.” To emphasize her point, she reached between them, wrapping her hand around his thick cock, stroking him gently as he twitched in her hold. With a groan his forehead fell to hers. His hips thrusted gently into her hand. 

“I seem to have a new appreciation for astronomy,” she purred, nipping at his bottom lip. “Have any other constellations to show me?”

“You’re in luck,” he rasped against her mouth, “I have been called the Galileo of the new world a time or two.”

She let out a breathy chuckle and wrapped her other hand around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. She slid him through her slick, down to her entrance. “Well then, I can’t wait for you to show me the heavens. Fuck me, Galileo.”

He didn’t hesitate, sinking himself deep into her, stealing the air from her lungs. “Fuck,” he drew out his curse as he slid himself to the hilt. No one had ever filled her more perfectly.

He pumped into her slowly, coaxing whimpers of pleasure from her as she relaxed on him. Their pace seemed to change. As if time itself had slowed. Or perhaps everything else ceased to exist but the two of them.

She cradled his face in her hands, pulling him down into a deep, slow kiss. Their bodies writhing together, conveying all the things they refused to speak aloud for years. The pieces that even if she’d had the courage to do so, she couldn’t put into words. They fucked like that for a while, neither chasing their pleasure, just enjoying the ride. Until everything started feeling too good.

“Oh my god,” she groaned as her head fell back into the pillow, her hips grinding against his.

“I’ve been called that a time or two as well,” he chuckled as he leaned back and gripped her ankle, bringing it up to rest on his shoulder, allowing him to drive deeper into her.

“You cocky bastard.” She meant for it to sound a lot sassier than it did, instead it came out as a strangled groan.

A hand came down, his thumb stroking her clit as he drove into her. Her head pressed back further into the pillow, her jaw clenching.

“Does that feel good,” he asked, breathless.

“So fucking good,” she whimpered. 

“Good,” he said on a grunt, “I wanna feel you come with me buried inside you.”

“Oh fuck,” she groaned. That wicked tongue of his stroking something inside her. “I’m so fucking close.”

The room filled with the sounds of them. Their moans, the slap of skin against skin, the sound of him sliding through her slickness. All of it came together in a symphony of sin, fully immersing her in this moment.

“John yes,” she cried out as it ripped through her, her toes curling, all her muscles going taut, her hands fisting the sheets.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned as his thrusts became ragged. His hand shifted from her clit to grip her hip and His teeth sank into the soft skin above her ankle. With a grunt he abruptly pulled out of her and spilled onto her belly. 

She reached out for his wrist, needing as much contact with him as her orgasm started to fade. After this, she didn’t know how she was going to survive without touching him. 

He fell onto the mattress beside her burying his face into her shoulder. She reached over, running her hand through his hair. He peaked up at her, the corners of his eyes crinkled as a smile spread across his face. “Now that was a good fucking date.”

She let out a breathy laugh, her smile so wide her cheeks hurt. “I don’t know how you’ll top that one.”

He pushed up, rolling over to grab a shirt off the floor. When he rolled back to her he wiped himself off her belly. “You’re about to find out. You haven’t felt all the things I can do with my tongue.”

Her eyes flared. She was completely out of her depths with him, but she fucking loved it.

Chapter Text

Kate’s fingers squeezed around the screeching feral’s throat, sinking into the withered flesh as she pumped three pieces of lead into its skull. Picturing Jimmy McDonough’s face instead.

“I swear to fucking god Tommy,” she shouted back at him, “I am going to fucking kill him.”

Tommy blasted two more that came running up a plank towards them. “Good luck, you can’t even get through the gates anymore.”

On their second time returning to DC with a delivery, one they had not expected to be given after completing the first list he gave him, he’d handed her a third list. She almost strangled him right there. Security had dragged her own, tossing her weapon and the list after her.

“I fucking quit,” Rory shouted from the other rooftop. 

His gun clicked out as he ran out of bullets with two ferals charging at him. He let out a battle cry as he kicked one in the chest, sending it falling backwards off the roof. In one fluid movement he holstered his and pulled his sword from his back. He ran the feral before him straight through the chest then pushed it off his blade into the muddy water below. The feral he’d kicked came barreling out of the water up the plank towards him again. He swung his officer’s sword like a louisville slugger, separating the feral’s head from its shoulders with a ferocious roar.

Kate and Tommy felled two more before the area fell into an ominous quiet. Not unusual. Everything in this fucking hell hole was ominous. Kate brushed the back of her hand over her sweaty forehead.

“Fucking hell,” she muttered when she saw the blood smeared across the back of her glove. She turned to Tommy, tipping her face up to him. “Can you get this shit off me?”

He’d exploded a feral’s head right beside her and she’d apparently gotten sprayed more than she’d realized.

He took her chin in one hand and rubbed his sleeve over her face. “Huh, that one must have just turned,” he observed cooly, his woody brown eyes taking in the mess on her face. “You gotta good chunka intact brain here.”

“Gross,” she replied, her voice hoarse from her battle cries. 

Yeah, battle cries. That sounded way fucking better than what it really was, a hissy fit. She was just so fucking sick of this . It was like this everywhere they went. McDonough’s list had them searching in areas overrun with ferals, or worse. They were the only places they could find so many intact items. Scavenging these places usually wasn't worth the risk.

When Tommy had finished wiping off the contents of some poor bastard's rotted skull the two of them headed across the rickety plank to Rory’s rooftop. He was splayed out on the shingles, staring up into the grey, cloudy sky above. His grey long sleeve henley stained with blood. What a shame, he’d just gotten that thing. Ladies loved it. Especially Cori. Poor girl put herself through hell with that one. He wasn’t exactly into monogamy and from what Kate could tell, Cori definitely was. 

“You good buddy,” Tommy asked cautiously as they approached Rory like he was a wounded animal. He exchanged a concerned glance with Kate.

Honestly, they’d never seen Rory like this. Nothing really got to the kid. Killin’ ferals was one of his favorite pastimes. But it wasn’t just killin’ ferals anymore, cause Mayor McDonough had them by the goddamn balls. Still . 

This was their third fucking trip since she’d left the apartment. Every time they returned to drop off shit that fat bastard handed them a new list. “Gotta keep up your father’s end of the bargain.”

Fucking fair. Fucking bullshit was what it was. But she couldn’t tell him to fuck off. Couldn’t risk not having DC to back them if Goodneighbor decided to fuck with them. Her father had been insistent Goodneighbor was of no concern, that Vic was just posturing, and Slade was stirring the pot like he always did. Really, no one was concerned about Goodneighbor, but she wasn’t so sure.

Slade kept popping up, finding them passing through the city. Creepy fuck would lean against a crumbling facade, usually in a dark alley, and just stare. Sometimes he’d give her a little wave. Tommy had said he was just fucking with her. That he could tell how it set her on edge. Still, she wasn’t sure. 

They stood there, watching Rory stare at the sky. When he didn’t answer, they decided to join him. Looking at the sky was a lot nicer than this shit anyways. The clouds hung thick over Forest Grove. A cachexic crow wobbled through the air, screeching more than cawing. The putrid smell of rotting flesh and swamp water wafted over them on a breeze. Still nicer than what their lives had become.

“I can’t do it anymore,” Rory finally said, his voice hoarse from screaming, and probably exhaustion. “It’s nonstop. I’m fucking losing it.”

They all were really.

“I miss home,” he said, his voice wobbling as if he was fighting back tears.

“We all do,” Tommy said solemnly. 

Kate pushed off the rooftop, looking down at the pair wallowing in pity, her hands braced on her hips. When they didn’t immediately stand with her she clapped her hands before them. “Alright, time to go boys.”

“Kate, did you not just hear what I said,” Rory asked incredulously. “I’m done.”

She pointed to the roadway. “You said you wanna go home. So let’s go.”

His face lit up, some color coming back to his ashen cheeks, “seriously?”

“Yeah, come on,” she said, doing her best to not make a big deal about it, “we’ll dump this shit in DC and then head back. Be there by morning.”

Rory sprang up from the roof and wrapped his arms around her. He bent backwards, lifting her up onto his chest and squeezed her tightly. “Oh! I would kiss you if old Johnny boy wouldn’t wring my neck.”

Kate groaned in his hold as he squeezed her a bit too tight, “put me down you sap.”

He settled her down onto her feet and practically skipped over the planks across the houses. When he hit the road he turned around and shouted back, “come on you lazy motherfuckers! I’m getting laid when we get back and I ain’t wasting another second looking at the clouds with your two. Your shitty attitudes are starting to harsh my mellow.”

Kate shook her head, chuckling as she turned back to Tommy who was leaning on his elbows, watching Rory with an amused grin. She walked over and held out a hand to him. The soft leather of their gloves slapped together when he took it. “Come on. I’m getting laid too. I bet we could cut it down to an early dawn arrival if we hustled.”

“Gross,” he said as he pushed himself off the roof. “Think he’ll be there?”

She sighed as she pulled him up before her. His mouth was tugged into a sad frown. “I’m just hopeful.” 

She turned and started walking over the creaking plank.

“You knew he did this,” Tommy reminded her as he followed her across. 

“Thanks Tommy. Really helpful.”

When she hopped off the plank, her boots splashed in the water blanketing the roadway before them. Rory was already well ahead, his brahmin doing its best to keep up. Tommy came up to her side, his shoulder brushed hers as they walked side by side up. Their brahmins fell in line behind them. They had to start running three to get a delivery in while still having enough room for all McDonough’s shit.

“It's different when I can’t look away from it,” she said, breaking their strained silence.

He kept his eyes on the path hom. “Yeah, it really is.” 

The walk to DC had been tense. Rory’s mood soured just as the grey clouds overhead started to flash green. Kate and Tommy’s mood had soured days ago, so now it was a pity party all around. When they’d reached DC, well past midnight, they were nearly chucking furniture off the brahmins onto the sidewalk before the entrance when Patterson, McDonough’s head of security came strolling out of the office. 

She crossed her arms as she turned and headed straight for him.

“We didn’t expect you this late, Lockley,” he said on a yawn, his hand covering the broomhead looking mustache he thought looked good. His button down haphazardly tucked into his pants. A boot untied.

“Yeah well, jobs done. We’re heading home.”

“Oh woah, woah,” he said, posturing like he was king shit. “Got another list for ya,” he said smugly.

She leaned in with a saccharine smile, tapping the sheet with a finger, “you can go shove that up your almighty mayor's ass. We’re. Going. Home.”

He leaned in, sneering at her. “You gotta deal to uphold.”

She turned on her heel, flicking her pony tail in his face, “buh-bye Patterson.”

“Hey, got a message for you to pass along to the lesser McDonough,” he called after. She ignored him and headed back to finish unpacking the brahmins. “Mayor’s thinkin’ of enacting a new decree for the new year. Anti Junkie Decree of 2283. He may wanna steer clear of the fens for a while. Unless he wants to end up like all those fucking ferals you two decided to risk it all for.”

She froze. 

“What was the name of that big one you got outta here? Gino? Heard he decided to move into the Old Granary bed and breakfast. Was snacking on some raider’s entrails when he got put down.”

She turned and glared at him. He held out his arms, that smug smile still plastered across his face. “Good thing our almighty mayor got him out before he started snacking on the school children.”

Before he even finished his sentence she was heading for him, her hand wrapped around her holstered pistol. Her teeth nearly cracked under the pressure of her clenched jaw.

His eyes flared. The pompous motherfucker didn’t even have time to reach for his pistol before she had a hand fisting his wrinkled shirt. She pulled him in close to her face so she was practically spitting on him as she shove the barrel into his temple, “you can thank your mayor for my twitchy trigger finger when I paint this fucking sidewalk-”

“Woah,” Tommy shouted, throwing his arms in the air as he and Rory sprinted for Kate. They grabbed her by her arms and pulled her back. Tommy wrapped his hand around hers, pointing her gun at the sky before she could follow through on her threat. 

Kate hissed out a litany of curses and insults at the slimy fuck face. Rory wrestled her hand from his shirt and Patterson hit the ground on his ass. He gaped at her like a fish, his arm held out in case she broke free and pounced on him. Which she almost managed to do until Tommy twisted her arm behind her back and buried her into the ground. 

“The mayor will be hearing about this,” he said shrilly, like an offended maiden. 

“Chill out Patterson,” Rory scoffed. “Your mayor is the reason she’s been dippin’ into more psycho than usual. You know how she gets.”

Kate didn’t really get into injectables, but sometimes she didn’t have a choice, she had to take psycho. But everyone knew that when Kate started taking psycho, well, she turned into a bit of a psycho. That shit did not agree with her at all.

But right fucking now she was wishing she had taken some before arriving to DC. At least then she’d be strong enough to rip herself from Tommy and Rory’s hold and bash Patterson’s ugly mug in against the pavement. 

Tommy leaned down and hissed into her ear, “if you don’t chill the fuck out I am strapping you to the back of Big Bertha the rest of the walk home.”

Big Bertha, her brahmin, had decided to trot around in the rotted flesh stew of Forest Grove while they’d been dropping bodies and she stank to high heaven, so Kate relented. Tommy and Rory pulled her to her feet and turned her back to the roadway. She shoved out of their hold, adjusting her faded grey bomber jacket. Her Fingers twitched as her knuckles scraped over the piece she kept tucked in her waist band. She brushed off the dust from her faded black tee, a vision of John’s hands tugging it over her head the last time she’d ran into him.

They’d been on their way to Forest Grove when he came running out of Hangman’s alley. His brow had been prickled with sweat, his face pale. A smile was plastered on his handsome face, but his eyes didn’t hold the same warmth they usually did when he saw her. Red rimmed his eyes. The icy blue of his eyes were just thin rings around the saucers that were his pupils.

He’d been so distracted when he ran out he almost ran straight into her. But he caught himself at the last moment, gripping her hips as they stumbled back into the wall. 

“There you are,” he’d said as if he’d been searching for her the whole time. 

She’d cradled his face in her hands to try and get a good look at his face, but he’d just pushed past her hold and buried his face in her neck. It was a real good cover because thankfully Tommy and Rory just kept walking. This was really something she would have rather been done in private anyways. 

“You got ten minutes,” Tommy had said over her shoulder as he and Rory continued on down the roadway. 

“Thanks buddy,” John had called back as he kissed his way down to her neck.

She kept herself still against the building while she silently prayed for the guys to walk faster. 

“Not eleven John.”

“Only need nine.”

Her cheeks heated. 

Kate waited until Tommy and Rory were far enough up the road before she pushed him off of her. Scowling at him.

“Hey, I’m serious about needing those nine minutes. Come her baby.” He boxed her in again, but she pushed her hand against his chest, keeping him from leaning in to kiss her.

“Since when the hell do you call me baby?” 

“I don’t know,” he said with a cloudiness in his gaze. His hand came up to her chin. Fingers gently skimmed along her jaw, trying to coax her closer, “come on, I’ve missed you.” 

This was not her John. “You’re high.”

His glassy eyes met hers finally. That sadness that she’d first noticed a few weeks ago hung there. Showed up right after he’d found out about Gino. 

“Can we not do this right now? I missed you,” he said flatly.

He knew the right things to say to have her melting into his touch. She didn’t really believe any of it. But she’d lie to herself and tell herself he meant it because that felt better. “I missed you too.” He cut off her words with his mouth against hers. Then, he’d dragged her off to an abandoned storefront. Locked her in an old closet and had her back to Tommy and Rory twelve minutes later. 

Most of their interactions since the apartment had been tiny stolen moments. It made sense for them in a way. Their relationship had always been stolen moments, but this time they weren’t talking all night long. At first she’d found it thrilling, invigorating, when he’d happen upon her, take her to the fucking heavens and then send her on her happy way. Now their interactions were just starting to feel like jumping into a void. Each time she emerged emptier than the last.

Kate continued stalking away from DC, Patterson still drilling holes into the back of his skull from the entryway, but her footsteps faltered just past a darkened alleyway. She turned, her brow furrowing as she blinked at the blackness staring back at her.

“What’s up,” Tommy asked as he stepped up next to her.

“I don’t know,” she said slowly as she squinted, not taking her eyes off the alley. “But I swear I heard someone call my mother’s name.”

He tilted his head as he joined her in studying the inky black. Rory stepped up beside her looking between them and the alleyway, “whatcha two doing now?”

“Kate’s hearing shit,” Tommy said as he waved her off and headed towards Kingsport. Rory followed after him.

She stood there a moment longer, her eyes straining to cut through the black void between the buildings. She couldn’t quite tell, but at the very back she could almost see a faint outline of someone leaning against the brick, a wide brim on their head. “Oh yeah, I’m fucking losing it,” she announced confidently, “I’m seeing fucking cowboys in the fens.”

“Giddy up partner,” Rory said with a twang as he slapped the ass of Big Bertha, sending Kate running off down the roadway after her.

“They’re back,” Sammy shouted, practically falling off the guard post with excitement as the caravan approached Kingsport a little past sunrise.

“Sam! Quiet down! Are you trying to alert the whole damn Commonwealth?” Phil gently smacked the poor kid upside the head, knocking his dark blue baseball cap off his head. Revealing the mess of chestnut waves he had hidden below. He was going through a phase, and that phase included trying to be like John. It was kind of adorable.

“Sorry dad,” Sammy said bashfully while he rubbed the back of his head. 

Phil had been trying his damndest to get Sammy whipped into shape to take on more responsibility, but it was Sammy. He was goofy, clumsy, and about somehow more unserious than Rory. Plus, Sammy wasn’t interested in much other than Val lately. She had that boy wrapped around her damn finger. It wasn’t a bad thing though. Val was a good kid too, but they both needed to find other interests. Young love was a hell of a drug. 

Uncle Phil strode past his son straight for Kate with his arms outstretched. A wide smile rounding the apples of his cheeks. “Hey there kiddo,” he said as he pulled her against his faded red flannel. Coffee and nicotine woven into the fabric. Before she could let go, Sammy came around and hugged her from behind. 

Phil sighed as he let go of Kate to smack Sammy again, “Get your ass back up there. Leaving the whole damn settlement exposed!” 

Sammy squeezed her a bit tighter before he scrambled off her, standing up straight and giving his father a teasing salute. “Yes sir!” 

He slapped his hand down to his side and casually strolled back over to the guardpost.

“Little shit,” Phil grumbled as he looked up at his son, who was very far from little. Tall and gangly was more like it. He sighed and turned back to Kate. “You stickin’ around? Your moms been sitting on the porch more.”

Kate sighed, exchanging a knowing glance with Phil. Her mom used to do this with her father, when his work kept him away. She’d sit on the porch and watch the road for him. Just waiting. It was tough to watch. She nodded back at Tommy and Rory who were already on their way to tie up the Brahmin. “Yeah, for a few days at least. Finally shook McDonough for now, but we gotta get caught up on runs.” She looked up at the blanket of thick grey that still covered the sky. There was a brisk bite to the air. “How are your knees feeling?”

“Like we’re about to have a shitty winter.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “mine too.”

He slapped her on the back, “welcome to old age kiddo.”

“I’m only 24,” she whined. 

“Almost 25. It's all downhill from there, trust me.” He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the house. He looked over his shoulder at Sammy leaning on his forearms on the guard post railing. “I want your eyes on that road Sam.”

“Aye aye Captain.”

Kate chuckled. “What an ass.”

As they approached her home, the smell of fresh coffee and pastries drifted out a broken window pane mixing with the salty brine of the sea. Waves crashed against the rocks below, the call of a storm churning out on the Atlantic. 

Before they’d made it up the steps, her mother bursted through the door, tripping on the threshold, but Kate and Phil caught her before she’d face planted.

“Kate! Oh baby, I’ve missed you so much,” she said excitedly. Her face was gaunt. God she’d gotten so sick.

“Hey Ma,” Kate pulled her into a tight embrace, relaxing into the comforting smell of her hubflower shampoo. Nothing smelled better. Smelled like home. 

“Good news Jane! Kate’s gracing us with her presence all weekend!” Kate leveled him a look over her mothers shoulder. She hadn’t committed to staying that long, but Phil knew she couldn’t get out of it now.

“Well then, we will have to make a celebration of it! When's the last time we had you home this long? Phil, think we can get a few radstag?”

“I’m on it,” Phil replied before heading out the door.

“Come sit,” her mother said as she pushed her through the old screen door. “Have you been eating? Your clothes are loose.”

“I’m fine Ma,” she said as she plopped onto the cushion. She dug into her pocket and pulled out the measly bag of caps they’d made off their one run. “You worry too much.”

“How can I not?”

Kate gave her a tight smile.

“I just made muffins. Your father went and got some tarberries from Wiseman yesterday. I swear, never had a better tarberry than here. Who woulda thought all the places your father and I had been and we never had any that came close to the Slogs’,” she prattled on as she disappeared into the kitchen.

“Got enough for Rory and Tommy?” 

Her mother’s head popped back through the doorway, “of course I have enough. Made enough for everyone to have two.”

Kate smiled as her mother disappeared into the kitchen again. 

She got to work splitting the caps into two piles. Not nearly enough for what they went through, but it was all they’d made. She reached into her own bag of caps and divided the bag between theirs. They deserved it.

A moment later the pair came stumbling through the creaking screen door. Looking half drunk, but really they were just exhausted. 

“Hey momma, I’m home,” Rory called. Kate tossed a bag of caps at his chest which he caught without even looking. His gaze zeroed in on the muffins in the kitchen. “Tarberry muffins! Momma, you shouldn’t have!”

Rory disappeared into the kitchen. He sang muffled praises of her mother’s cooking despite his mouth being very obviously full.

Kate looked up to find Tommy staring at the bag on the table. “That’s more than what we got from Oberland Station.”

She gave him a look and tossed the bag at him. His eyes shifted between his pay and hers. She raised her brows at him and pointed to the doorway, “go get your muffin before he eats them all.”

He considered her for a moment, but the heavy footfalls of her coming down the stairs pulled his attention. “Morning Eaton.”

“Hey there Tommy. You look like shit.” 

Kate chuckled at Tommy who had a look of amused disbelief on his face. “It’s been a night. I didn’t get my beauty sleep,” he shrugged.

“So I heard,” her father’s voice hardened as he glared at Kate.

Tommy’s lips tightened into a thin line. He gave Kate a look of pity as he slunk off to the kitchen.

She cringed under her father’s stare. “From who?”

“Who do you think?”

Fucking Mayor McDonough of course. 

“Is it bad?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed. He fell back into the couch beside her, his hands smacking down on his thighs. A sad smile on his face. His face looked so worn. His beard stained grayer than the last time she’d seen him. The lines in his forehead had deepend. But the most heartbreaking change she noticed was the red that rimmed his eyes.“Gotta lotta eyes on you.”

She nodded, “I know.”

“We gotta talk kiddo. It’s time to figure out your exit plan.”

Ice flowed through her veins.

Her mom popped out of the kitchen with a pot of coffee. Rory trailed her, holding a muffin in his mouth while carrying mugs in both his hands, followed by Tommy with a plate of muffins. “Oh good, you’re up. We’re having a party tonight. Need you to work on building a bonfire.”

“A party? Sounds like exactly what we need,” her father replied with a smile on his face that didn’t meet his eyes.

The three of them settled into seats around the coffee table for an impromptu breakfast. Rory was still chatting up a storm, telling her mother about their “thrilling adventures”, downplaying how absolutely terrible the last month had been. Tommy sat quietly and sipped his coffee, seemingly lost in thought. 

Her father reached over and patted her knee gently. “Tomorrow,” he said softly enough for just the two of them to hear. 

She watched him in stunned silence. Not fully able to grasp that the day they’d been dreading for so long was likely on the horizon. She swallowed thickly before she rested her hand on his and gave it a squeeze. That same smile that didn’t reach her eyes spread across her own face. Tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Kate laid on her old ratty mattress watching tiny snowflakes slip through the cracks in her roof. Each one lingered just long enough to remind her how little time she had before they melted away just as quickly as they had appeared. Their lives snuffed out by the heat of her small wood burning stove. She was supposed to be resting. God knew she needed it. Hadn’t gotten a solid night's rest since she’d left the apartment.
God, did she miss the apartment. She was happy there, with him. Her thoughts drifted back to the last moments they had together there. The memory was so vivid, it was as if she could feel his hands drifting down her thighs. Over the soft leather pants she’d worn that day.
“Gotta be honest, the raider look is kinda doing it for me,” he murmured against her skin as he pressed a kiss to her neck.
She paid him no mind. Well, she tried, but she was finding it incredibly difficult as his breath trailed across her skin. Still, she kept her eyes locked on her reflection in the mirror as she finished getting ready for work. “Me too. The leather really makes my ass look good,” she mused as she pushed her hips back into his groin.
His hand slid up her thigh and gripped her ass.“Your ass always looks good.”
She had just finished tying back her hair when his other hand slid under the hem of her grey cotton tee shirt. His teeth sank into her shoulder as he gripped her ass tighter.
“John,” she scolded halfheartedly as she leaned back into his hold more. “Tommy and Rory are in the other room.”
“We can be quiet.”
“No we can’t,” she snorted.
“Good point,” he chuckled as his forehead dropped to her shoulder. His grip loosened on her. His arms shifted up to wrap around her waist. Then he looked back up and nestled his chin into the crook of her neck.
The smile he had on his face was a new one. One that showed up after they’d been together the first time. Like she’d unlocked another layer of him that night. It showed up with the rush of endorphins and hadn’t yet left. Neither had the endorphins actually.
He’d still be buried inside her when Tommy and Rory barged through the front door and nearly caught them with the bedroom door wide open. Thankfully, John chucked a pillow at the door and slammed it shut before they could see anything. She’d slapped her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries as she came, but she didn’t do a very good job at it.
They didn’t talk about it, but it was pretty clear Tommy and Rory knew exactly what they were up to. And if there was any question, John letting himself into the bathroom as she was showering likely answered those.
When her gaze shifted from his smile to his eyes she caught him studying her the same way she’d been studying him. Admiration crinkled the corners of his eyes. The crinkles deepened when his gaze flicked to hers, not at all embarrassed that he’d been caught watching her so intently. In fact, he looked happy being caught. Good, she never wanted him to stop looking at her like that.
“Can you two hurry it up in there,” Tommy shouted from the living room, “we’re gonna start losing light soon.”
Their faces fell as sadness wriggled its way before their happiness and reality tugged them back down to earth.
Kate turned in his hold and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I don’t want to go to work,” she whined.
“Holy shit,” he said with concern. His hand came up to feel her forehead. “Guys,” he called loud enough for Tommy and Rory to hear, “I think Kate’s sick. Said she doesn’t want to work. Maybe you two should head out and give her another day of rest. Actually, I think she needs two more.”
“Don’t fall for his shit,” Rory called to her, “you know his reputation. That man knows all the right things to say.”
“Now that’s not true,” John said softly, just to her. His hand settled onto her cheek. “Besides, you’re too smart to fall for my shit.”
“Nah, just disillusioned.” If she believed that, she really was a fool. “You’ll come find me after you hit Goodneighbor?”
His gaze followed the path of his thumb as it brushed across her cheek, “I promise.”
He’d kept that promise, but their reunion was far from happy.
After that first trip out procuring items for Mayor McDonough, the caravan’s morale was at an all time low. When John delivered the news about Gino’s death and that Clyde remained in Goodneighbor, by himself, it stole away any hope they had. Sarah and Bobby, the two ghouls John had found caught in the crossfire of the Fens, had taken off. Scared away by the random violence in the streets of Goodneighbor. Somehow worse than what they were used to in the Fens. The only reason Clyde had survived was the grit he’d developed since that fateful night in DC. He’d been a kind, gentle soul. John hadn’t seen any of that left in him when he’d found him crouched in an alley in Goodneighbor. Said he looked nearly feral himself. They all knew he needed to the edge to survive, but at what cost? What was survival when all the good in life had been stolen?
Suffering. That was what it was.
A knock at the door ripped Kate from the memories. She shot off her mattress as hope bloomed in her chest. It took her all of one step to make it to the door and wrench it open. The frigid night air rushed in, sucking out the dry heat of the fire from the shack and any hope she had.
Tommy stood before her, his hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, dressed in a somewhat clean pair of jeans and blue pullover hoodie. He looked tired, like he’d slept just as little as she had. When he looked past her to the mattress she watched any bit of hope fade from his eyes as well.
She gave him a tight lipped smile. “I was kinda hoping he just hit your place first.”
He shook his head. “We both know he’d never do that.”
She stepped aside, allowing him in. He took half a step to her desk and spun the chair around. It creaked under his weight as he sat down, letting his legs fall wide as he rested an elbow on her desk. She swore that chair was going to collapse one of these days. Just another thing on her very long to do list.
She sat on her mattress with her back pressed against the wall, her knees pulled up to her chest.
“He’s gonna get better, right? This is just like all the other times,” she asked as she hugged her knees to her chest.
He shrugged. While he didn’t give her any reassurance, he offered her a tiny kernel of kindness. “Doesn’t hurt to be hopeful.”
She pulled her lips into a tight line, the tears that had been burning the backs of her eyes all day filled her vision, but she blinked them back. She rubbed her runny nose with the sleeve of her thick green flannel. “Yeah it does.”
In the nearly six years she’d known John, she’d never seen him this deep. It wasn’t that she cared he was getting high, everyone had their thing. It was that he’d been getting so high.
The press of Tommy’s shoulder against hers pulled her from her thoughts. She turned to find him sitting beside her on the mattress, staring off at the dancing flames in the stove.
“Did I ever tell you about the time he almost got us eaten by mirelurks?”
Her brows pinched together. Mirelurks were annoying, but generally not too difficult. “No?”
“We were just kids. Dad was still around and we were still living near DC, so we couldn’t have been more than five. One night, I woke up to him grinning through the window above my bed. Nearly pissed myself.”
The corner of her mouth tugged up at the image.
“Lured me out with the promise of a big adventure. See, living on the waterfront, we were convinced our shacks had been built in the prime location for buried treasure. I swear, we looked every damn day for a year. There were holes everywhere. One time, his father almost broke his ankle in one we’d dug just outside their front door. Whew, that was a day.” He shook his head with a nostalgic smile on his face. “After that, I’d given up all hope. Wasn’t worth getting my ass beat for some rusty coins. Still, he insisted that the reason we hadn’t found any treasure yet was cause we weren’t thinking big enough. Said the treasure wouldn’t be buried anywhere easy.
“Well, that night he swore the spirit of Davy Jones visited him in a dream and gave him the location of the treasure we’d spent so long searchin’ for. Honestly, he spun his spiel so well that by the end of his pitch I was fully convinced he was the profit of Davy Jones himself.”
She chuckled. John could be awfully convincing.
“And of course, he didn’t fill me in on exactly where Davy Jones said the treasure was, said it would be easier to show me. Wasn’t until we got there that I realized the spot was also a friggan mirelurk nest. I told him he was crazy and then he spun it around and told me all the reasons I was crazy for not wanting to try. Said the mirelurks were asleep, we were sneaky, there was no way we’d get caught. All we needed to do was sneak in, look around, and we’d be rich.
“So we crept in as quietly as we could, but just as we moved past the nest, I stepped on a twig. Thing snapped under my foot and woke up the mother. In the chaos we got separated. It was so fucking dark, I couldn’t see him, I thought for sure he’d been eaten. Then, out of the black, Jimmy came barreling past me with a shovel in his hands. That’s when I spotted John. Literally in the mirelurk nest, stomping on some babies. He was so distracted with one trying to pinch his leg he didn’t see the mother that was running straight for him. Jimmy smacked that thing right upside the head. Knocked it back, giving him just enough time to scoop up John and hightail it outta there. As they went sprinting past me, John had the biggest grin plastered on his face, despite almost being turned into dinner.
“Jimmy got us back home safely but ripped into us the entire way. Called us every name in the book, but John never lost that shit eatin’ grin. Just before I climbed back through my window, he pulled out a pack of gumdrops from his pajama pants and popped a couple in my hand. He’d found it underneath one of the eggs. Said ‘I told you there’d be treasure,’ like the near suicide mission had been a huge success. Jimmy took half the pack as payment for saving our lives, but John still tucked a few in my pocket before I climbed through the window.”
By the time he’d finished his story, her sad smile had turned to an amused grin. “That sounds like John.”
He chuckled, “he’s always been true to himself for sure. What I am getting at here is it's been less than a month since he lost his brother, who he did love, even if you don’t understand it fully. Then everything he saw in DC, losing his friends, losing Gino. It’s going to take him time to recover from that.”
She wrung her hands as she stared off into the fire. “You think he can?”
“I’ve seen him hit rock bottom a few times. He’s a lot lower than I’ve ever seen him, but he’s got a lot to get better for.” He took her hand and squeezed it tight, dragging her attention back to him. Hope burned in his eyes. “He got his gumdrop in the end.”
She wanted to believe that. After everything that had happened in the last month she couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing in their lives would ever be the same again.
Tommy pushed off the mattress and headed for the door, “come on gumdrop, bonfires roaring and your mother is looking for you. John wouldn’t want you sitting here, wasting your life waiting for him to get it together. Trust me. He comes outta this and finds out you’ve missed out on spending what time you have with her, that might break him all over again.”
She pushed off to follow him. Her muscles screamed in protest as she took his outstretched hand. She was exhausted. Physically and mentally, but she would put on a mask and pretend she wasn’t.
When she was on her feet she leveled him a stare, “call me gumdrop one more time and I’ll beat you upside the head with a shovel.”
He let out a deep laugh, “yeah, okay. Sure you will.”

“Kate!” Her mother waved frantically from where she sat with Verna on a bench near the roaring fire. Her father’s parka was wrapped around her shoulders, swallowing her tiny frame. Her dark brown, grey streaked curls were tossed into a messy bun atop her head. “Come sit with us!”
The party was in full swing. The settlement was filled with music, laughter. Bottles clinked together in cheers as the settlers did what they did best. Partied. Hard. It was the only thing these people really excelled at. If they put nearly as much effort into doing their work as they did partying…well, Kate couldn’t even begin to imagine what this place would be like.
Tommy patted Kate on the back before heading off to Rory who sat on the ground near the fire, his arms resting on the felled log behind him. Cori leaned into his chest as he whispered something that had her blushing. Beside them sat Jessica, Cori’s bestfriend, scowling at the pair of lovebirds.
But she softened when Tommy sat beside her. She handed him a beer. It was almost like she had one waiting for him.
“That’s interesting,” her mother commented when Kate sat down beside her. Her attention fixated on Tommy and Jessica as he draped an arm over her shoulder. “Since when has that been a thing?”
Kate shrugged as she cracked a beer, “I didn’t realize it was.”
Tommy didn’t talk much about his love life. She knew something was going on with Jessica, but it sounded like something that only took place behind closed doors. Out of convenience more than anything.
“Well, it's nice to see them so happy.”
‘Happy’ seemed like a stretch. Tommy and Jessica both still looked stoic, per usual, but as she sank into his chest further he gripped her tighter. Maybe this was their version of happiness.
“It would be nice to see you happy like that. If only you’d bring John around.”
God this was not what she felt like talking about.
“He is a handsome one,” Verna commented from beside her. Her attention caught on Sammy and Val clearly trying to sneak off. She waved her hand frantically above her head, “Val! Come sit with us!”
Val gave them a sweet, but nervous smile. Her rosy cheeks grew redder as she tucked a silky strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Yeah, that girl had no desire to come sit with them, but she did the right thing and waved off Sammy. When she came over, Kate patted the space beside her. Some of the tension in her face relaxed at the offer. Probably glad she didn’t have to sit next to Verna. Verna was a kind woman, but she loved to pry, and Kate was very familiar with her ways. So, before Verna could ask the poor girl where she and Sammy were headed off to, Kate fell on the sword.
“Welcome! Ma was just about to force me into a conversation about my love life.”
Her mother’s face lit up. She smacked Verna on the arm as if making sure she was paying attention. Verna sat up straighter with a look of shock painted across her rounded face. “Verna! It’s happening. Please, tell us all about him!”
While her father had a pretty clear path laid out for Kate’s life, her mother always seemed to hold onto a small kernel of hope that Kate could find happiness. That maybe she could find someone who she could trust to keep her secret and spend what life they had together. She was a romantic. Where her father had always focused on Kate’s survival, her mother tried her best to focus on fostering her happiness. It had led to many fights between the two over the years.
Kate took a long swig of her beer and settled it into the sandy soil beside her. She held her arms out wide, “alright, I’m ready for my interrogation.”
An interrogation was exactly what it was, but Kate found it far more enjoyable than she’d expected. She never had this. Never got the chance to gush over the man who’d had her heart far longer than she’d realized. Tommy and Rory didn’t really care hearing about the sweet stuff. Even when she did, they didn’t really give her the reaction she was looking for.
She wanted others to melt just like she did when she re-lived those moments in her mind. It was nice to see her mother, Verna, and even Val clutch their chests at the stories of the tender moments. Like the time they’d walked Rosie back home from the Dugout that one night.
Mark, her husband, had been outta town and she had a bit too many that night. They’d told Tommy and Rory they’d be back after they dropped her off, but they got distracted. John had wanted to show her this spot he’d found. An old rooftop bar just outside the gates of DC. Was a total bitch to get to, but it was a cool little spot.
He stood behind the counter leaning on an elbow, his other arm outstretched on the counter. His blue red sox cap backwards atop his tied back hair. He’d found a ratty old dishrag and flung it over the shoulder of his red flannel, unbuttoned enough to reveal the white tee underneath.
“What can I get for you, beautiful?”
A giggle slipped out of her, like a damn school girl. “Got anything not on tap,” she asked, pointing to the decayed taps covered in cobwebs.
“You’re in luck,” he said as he reached under the counter, “got a Gwinnett Stout right here for ya.”
He cracked the bottle and set it out in front of her.
“Why don’t you crack one for yourself, put it on my tab.”
“Don’t be silly, yours are on the house,” he replied with a heart stopping wink and a slanted grin.
“That’s very generous of you, but,” she paused to look around the bar, “I don’t see any other customers here. So I hope you weren’t planning on making a profit tonight.”
“You kiddin’ me? As long as I got you sitting in front of me, I’m the richest guy alive.”
She didn’t tell them how those three little words, the ones that meant everything, nearly tumbled out with her giggle. How so many of these nights those words danced right on the tip of her tongue. It didn’t matter, they could read between the lines. By the time she was finished, her mother and Verna had gone misty eyed.
It was her mother who reached out and squeezed Kate’s hand. Equal parts pain and joy swirling in her smokey grey eyes, “he sounds wonderful.”
“He is,” Kate said with a smile that shared the same joy and pain as her mother’s eyes.
Val looked between the three of them, clearly confused. The tales she’d told were full of joy. On the surface the anguish made no sense.
Kate cleared her throat and pushed to stand, “come on Val, I have a shirt I found that would look great on you.”
“Don’t be gone too long,” her mother said gently, “I want to hear more stories.”
“I won’t,” Kate said as she gave her a reassuring smile before turning and heading for her shack.
Her and Val walked in silence down the path. The sounds of the party faded as they headed down the path. When they were out of earshot, Val looked up at Kate.
“Why did you all look so sad back there? John sounds wonderful.”
Kate gave her a tight smile, but didn’t meet her eyes. “Oh you know those two. They’re just emotional.”
Before Val could push any further, Kate gently pushed her off the path toward a tiny patch of trees. A moment later Sammy stepped out from behind them.
“I thought ma was gonna keep you all night,” he said as he wrapped his arms around Val. God that boy was so in love.
Kate didn’t linger, throwing a wave up over her shoulder as she turned back to the road to head back to the bonfire. She had no desire to witness any of their affection. It was too weird, but she knew how much it hurt to stay away from the person you loved. “Have a good night you too. Stay out of trouble.”
“Thanks Kate,” Sammy called after her.
He’d been eying Val over the fire all night. Eventually he’d resorted to sending hand signals to Kate, begging her for her help in getting Val back for him.
“Don’t mention it. Seriously, to anyone. Your mother would have my head.”
“John’s at your place by the way,” Sammy said, stopping her in her tracks. “He wandered in not too long ago. I told him to go find you, but he said he’d just wait for you at home.”
Without a word she started running for her shack.
“You guys living together now,” he called after her. “Cause It would be pretty cool if you were!”
She didn’t answer. Her mind wholly focused on her path home and the anxiety growing inside her. She should have been excited to see him, but she couldn’t shake that awful feeling she’d had since they left the apartment. And it was only getting worse.
When she burst through the door of her shack, the floor felt like it fell out from underneath her. Her eyes went wide as she took in John, splayed out on her mattress. A bottle of whiskey was tipped over beside him, soaking into the mattress. In his hand was a spent canister of jet. Several other empty canisters littered the mattress and floor around him.
“John,” she shouted as she dropped to her knees beside him. He didn’t look like he was breathing. A lump formed in the back of her throat as panic took over. Tears stung her eyes. She shook him, called his name, but nothing. Panic gave way to desperation as she dug her knuckles into his chest, “John! Wake up!”
Suddenly, his eyes shot open. He swatted her away as he stared at her in bewilderment. “Why are you fucking yelling?”
Heat bloomed across her cheeks as she sat back, trying to calm her racing heart. The pounding didn't ease with the relief that he was alive, instead she felt it pound harder as her anger took over. It had seemed to sit just under the surface that final month, just chomping at the bit. Waiting with bated breath to be unleashed.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. One of her favorite defense mechanisms. “I thought you were dead.”
He rolled his eyes as he reached for his pack and started fumbling through it. Odds and ends, random bits of junk, a pistol tumbled out onto the mattress, but he didn’t seem to care.
“You are so dramatic,” he grumbled as he pulled out another canister of jet. Before he could bring it to his mouth, she snatched it from his hands. “What the fuck is your problem?”
“John theres,” she paused as she counted the canisters around them, “like eight empty canisters here. You’ve had enough.”
He glared at her, but she ignored it, even though it stung. He’d never looked at her like that. Instead she turned and put the canister in her desk drawer, swapping it for another.
When she turned back to him, she shoved a canister of addictol into his hand.
“Really? A fucking intervention,” he scoffed.
“John, I get it, you’ve been through a lot–”
“You ‘get it’,” he asked, clearly offended by her choice of words.
She knew she fucking it up. So naturally, she said the next idiotic thing that came to her mind. “I have some time. I’m off for the next few days. I can stay with you–”
“You ‘have time’,” he raised his voice and pushed off the mattress and hastily collected his things. “I’m so glad you could fit the detox you had planned for me into your busy schedule.”
“That’s not how I meant it,” she reasoned as she followed him around the room.
“No, I think it is Kate,” he snapped, refusing to look at her. “Don’t worry, I’m used to it. I’ve spent the last six years at the bottom of your list of priorities. Wouldn’t expect that to change just because we’re fucking.”
That unlocked the door that was barely holding her rage back and kicked it wide open.
“Fuck you,” she boomed. It was enough to get him to stop in his tracks and look at her. “Fuck you. Fuck you. FUCK YOU. What the fuck do you think I’ve been doing that whole time? You think I enjoy this? I have been running myself ragged for years trying to keep this place afloat. And now I’ve spent the last month as your brother’s pack mule. While you’ve done what exactly? Get high all day?”
A bitter smile had spread across his face as she melted down. “Oh, someone’s mad,” he taunted her. Regret had started to push back some of her rage. Without warning, he tossed the addictol back to her. She barely had enough time to catch it. “Looks like you need this more than me. Seems like you’ve been dipping into the psycho a bit too much. Again.”
She stared at the addictol in her hand, dumbfounded. She was caught between a war in her mind. A part of her wanted to apologize, beg for forgiveness. While another part urged her to dig her grave further, not wanting to back down from his insult. It was too confusing, she couldn’t even form a coherent response. The creak of the door opening pulled her from the chaos in her mind.
“Where are you going,” she asked breathlessly.
“Leaving,” he replied casually. “For good. Have a nice life, sister.”
‘Sister’. Not ‘love’, not ‘Kate’. ‘Sister’. In the entire time she’d known him, he’d never once called her that. Not even the night they met. The door slammed shut behind him as he disappeared into the night. All she could do was stand there in stunned silence, her mind reeling. She couldn’t recall what went through her mind then. But as she watched the memory of herself stand there, tears slowly streaming down her face, she was able to see the first crack in the mind of the person she once was.
At some point, her body returned to her control. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in the mattress and cry until she had nothing left, but the idea of burying her face into the mattress they slept in, made love in, felt too painful. So she turned away and headed out her door, straight for her parents’ home.
The short walk felt like it took an eternity. As much as she tried she couldn’t push back the tears. An ache just as intense as the one that had formed in her heart bloomed across her forehead. She managed to sneak past her fellow settlers. It really wasn’t hard, they were plastered. As she took the first step of her parents porch, a hand around her wrist halted her.
“Kate,” Tommy said, “what happened?”
She tried to pull away, but he held firm. She steeled herself, gave her anger free reign before she whirled on him.
“‘What’s wrong’” she shouted, drawing the eyes of a few of the party goers, but the glare she shot them had them promptly minding their own damn business. “You are wrong, Tommy,” she hissed, “I ain’t his fucking gumdrop. I am nothing more than another notch in his bedpost.”
Tommy’s face twisted with confusion. He opened his mouth to respond, but she wrenched out of his hand and spun on her heel before he could try and talk her off the ledge. When she burst through the door, she let it slam behind her. The tears broke free again as she sprinted up the stairs to her old room.
Sobs tore through her the second her face hit her pillow. Sobs that had her gritting her teeth and the tendons in her neck straining as she felt her heart fracture into pieces. Ones that made it feel like she was a moment away from throwing up.
They were so loud, even muffled by the pillow, that she didn’t hear her door creak open.
“Oh Kate. What happened,” her mother asked softly. Even distorted by memory, her voice felt like a warm hug.
Kate didn’t answer, so her mother crawled into bed with her and held her as she sobbed.
“Ma,” she sobbed, “I love him. What the fuck am I gonna do?”
“Oh honey,” she cooed, but didn’t give her any words of encouragement. Kate didn’t really need an answer anyways. She just needed her mom. They laid there for a while, her mother smoothing a hand down her hair, holding her tight as her world fell apart around her.
As awful as it was, she was glad to have gotten this with her mother in the end. It was more than she’d gotten with her father.
Eventually her mom was able to convince her to at least get up and change into pajamas. Promised her a girls day tomorrow if she did. It was something they did to distract themselves when her father had been on the road too much. They had a rule, once one of them called for a girls day, it was impossible to get out of. Kate had unfortunately broken that rule many times, but she wasn’t going to do that this time. She really needed a fucking girls day. Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of bed and found an old sleep shirt. So large on her it was more of a dress than anything.
“Put the damn pants on,” Kate begged the memory of herself. Not like it was gonna change anything, but it was worth a shot. The impending infection from her bare legs being torn up would nearly kill her. Significantly weaken her for months.
She watched herself pull the shirt over her head and remembered how heavy her arms felt. She’d never been that tired. She wished she could say this was the worst it ever would be, but this was nothing compared to what she would eventually experience.
“Do you want me to stay,” her mother asked as Kate flopped back into the bed.
“Yes,” she begged her memory.
“No,” she grumbled from the pillow as her mother pulled the covers over her.
She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Kate’s head, “I love you, baby.”
“I love you too, ma,” Kate rasped.
Sleep tugged her under before her mother stepped out the door.

Click, click.
Her last memory of her life before was one she hadn’t been able to look at closely yet. Not quite like this.
Kate blinked open, her eyes strained to focus on the wall beside her bed. She was about to push off the mattress, but her spine stiffened when her mind registered the cool press of metal against her temple.
“Get up,” a cold voice said from beside her. It had that grating tone that she recognized instantly. Slade.
Her hand slowly slid under her pillow for the small pistol she’d kept there. She froze as he pressed the barrel of his gun harder into her temple.
“You really think I’m that dumb? Already grabbed that one. It is in your best interest to not do anything stupid right now.”
Before she could formulate an exit strategy, he painfully gripped a chunk of her hair and wrenched her off the bed.
He was cruel. Didn’t even give her time to get her feet under her. Let her legs slam down on the steps as he dragged her out of her parents house. Didn’t give a shit that the rocky pathway down to the beach shredded her legs, or that strands of hair were snapping from her scalp. If anything, he enjoyed it.
Suddenly, he shoved her forward. Her knees stung as she sank into the sand. A jagged piece of rock dug into her palm, adding another cut to her growing collection. When she looked up, ice ran through her veins.
On the other side of the beach her parents knelt in the sand, their arms bound, guns held to their heads. Her mother trembled, softly sobbing as tears streamed down her face. Her father watched with wide eyes as Kate tried to right herself.
“Hold her up for me,” the smooth rumbling of a gentlemanly southern accent cut through the silence.
Slade gripped her hair again and wrenched her up. That’s when she realized she’d seen this southern gentleman before. Definitely heard him. Before her stood the man she’d thought was nothing more than a shadow in an alley the night before.
This interaction with Roscoe would be brief, but she’d never forget that face. The sharp lines of his bone structure were sinisterly emphasized by the pointed salt and pepper mustache and goatee. And his eyes, well they were just evil. He had this way of looking at a person like they were nothing more than a toy for his amusement and he was the puppet master pulling all the strings.
He was flashy. The type of guy that wanted everyone to know how filthy rich he was. A large silver bolo tie was wrapped around his neck. A matching pocket watch was tucked into the vest of his black, three piece suit. A long, well tailored black coat was draped over his shoulders. And atop his head, covering his short, wavey black hair, was that wide brimmed cowboy hat. Far too clean to have ever seen a real fight. This man wasn’t the type to fight, he had enough money to pay others to do the dirty work for him.
“Jane,” he crooned, eliciting a whimper from her mother. “She looks exactly like you. Well, before you fell apart. A lot smoother than I expected. Given her lineage and all.”
“Roscoe,” her father begged, “leave her out of this. She has nothing to do with this.”
“Oh Eaton. You dumb son-of-a-bitch,” Roscoe drawled. “She has everything to do with this. Do you know the gravy train you took from me?” He motioned to her, with the silver tipped cane he held. “Pretty young thing like that is sure to attract a lot of attention. Hell, I could have a revolvin’ door of customers going all day if I wanted to.”
“Fuck you,” she spat on his polished boot.
The grip on her hair tightened as Slade wrenched her neck back. “What did I say about doing something stupid,” he hissed into her ear.
“Easy there friend,” Roscoe cut in, “you will get your due shortly. Do be gentle with my investment. I let you have your fun, but you hurt her anymore and I’ll have to start chargin’ ya.”
“Might take you up on that offer. You have no idea how much of a pain in this ass this one has been.” Slade kept his eyes locked on hers. In a tiny act of defiance she bared her teeth at him as he tightened his grip in her hair.
“Let her go,” her father boomed as he tried to stand, but a man stepped up behind him. He was large. Grotesque. Looked like he smelled worse than brahmin shit that had been baking in the sun all day. His hands gripped her father’s shoulders, keeping his knees firmly planted in the ground.
Even then she knew that horrible man would be the source of a lot of her baggage. That man took pleasure in the suffering of others. In ways that would likely make whatever Slade had been picturing look like child's play.
Rewatching this memory was proving to be more pain than she thought she could handle. The only comfort she had was the memory of this man’s eventual death for comfort. The deathclaws seemed to enjoy playing with him in the end.
“Enough Eaton, or I’ll blow Jane’s head off now,” Roscoe said coolly.
Kate and her father went still as her mother’s sobs grew louder.
Roscoe turned back to Kate and leaned down close to her face. Inspecting her. “Yeah, she’ll do. Gonna earn back all that money you cost me and much, much more. Wonder how long she’ll last. According to Fenton, a long fucking time.”
Oh how she wished she could go give her past self a hug. She watched her eyes go wide as reality hit her. The realization that she wasn’t about to die, she was about to suffer. Even then she couldn’t understand just how much.
Bile crept up her throat as her eyes locked with her fathers. She let out a shaky breath as she found pain and acceptance swimming in his eyes. Her father was so damn strong. Didn’t back down from a fight. To see him give in like this scared her more than anything ever had. And he saw that. He always saw her fear.
His brows pinched together as he sucked in a sharp breath. Without thinking, Kate did the same, just as she always had. She felt her heartbeat slow, just barely. His exhale wasn’t just a breath, it was an unspoken message to her. One he’d told her so many times before, “breathe it all away, and focus,” and then tacked on at the very end an “I love you.”
She pushed out an exhale, just as he did, hating that all she could do was accept what was about to happen. There was nothing that could have changed this.

Kate paused the memory there. She didn’t need to watch Slade end her parents' lives. Didn’t need to watch the pain anymore. The pain was what she’d survived on. The hurt, the anger. She hadn’t been able to look at all the love. Hadn’t been stong enough to look at all she’d truly lost. But now that she could finally look at her past, those memories had finally given her what she needed to keep moving. Hope. Hope that the others in her life that she had loved might still be out there. And understanding that she was finally ready to go find them.
But there was still one thing keeping her stuck in the wastes. Oddly enough, it was the same thing that tugged her heart back towards the Commonwealth. Love.

Chapter Text

                                                                                                                    2292

                                                                                                                    Oklahoma

It was pretty damn clear Kate hadn’t thought about much of her former life for a long time. Like she’d been living in the margins of her own memoir. Cooper understood it. Had lived most of his life in the margins too. Taking in the details took time. Took courage. Seemed she’d mustered enough to start skimming through the pages.
It didn’t bother Cooper that she was well and truly in love with another man. Of course she woulda had someone else before all this. To call her a catch would be greatly underselling the woman. Definitely didn’t sound like the guy deserved her, but Kate didn’t seem to be wholly innocent in their end either. Not that he could even call it an end. Didn’t seem like she considered them over either. No, she had a whole lotta unfinished business waiting for her back home. Business she seemed ready to start settling. Didn’t bother him one bit.
“Liar.“
Oh fuck off. Fucking traitor.
At some point, that voice inside his head that had been telling him to stay away from Kate switched sides. Suddenly, that voice loved the woman just as much as…fuck, he had it bad. At least Cooper didn’t have time to dwell on any of it cause the second the storms eased, they left the bunker and that little family behind. He had to get back to finding Janey and she had her own life to get back to. All they had to do was survive the storms, but that was something far easier said than done.
Those storms kept them running. Not in any particular direction. Only the direction that didn’t have a twister in front of it. He had no idea how long they’d been out there. Time was nonexistent out there with the skies permanently blanketed in putrid green, blotting out the sun entirely. All he could be sure of was that they spent more time running than naught. It was fucking exhausting. He had no clue how Kate did it. Her DNA didn’t give her that much of a leg up on most people, but Kate wasn’t like most people.
As time dragged on they inched further east, until the breaks between storms grew longer. Not by much, but they’d take what they could get. They spent those moments sprawled out in the dirt, breathless and panting, taking any bit of rest they could. Didn’t have to bother hiding, nothing was stupid enough to be out there. Nothing except them, which was a problem in itself. Couldn’t eat for long if they couldn’t hunt. Their rations had been dangerously low from the start and Terry and his family couldn’t spare much. Eventually they ran out completely. Not a scrap of food to ease their aching bellies or a drop of water to quench their nagging thirst. Not even a damn chem to help them forget it all. Just the radioactive rain to keep them going.
They were sober, starving, and painfully dehydrated. Just when he thought for sure he was going to lose his mind completely, Kate started talking. They’d been sprawled out on the ground, trying but failing to sleep, when at random she told him a story about her life in the Commonwealth. A happy one. Then another.
There were so many happy stories. She’d had a good life before all this. She’d told him that before but he didn’t believe her, cause how could anyone have a good life in this shithole? All in all, she’d had a fairly normal childhood despite being raised to be a cold blooded killer. Even her adult years didn’t sound half bad. She’d had friends. Seemed like she was well liked. He found some comfort in knowing if she’d experienced real happiness.
All her stories got him thinking about his own past, and before he knew it he was telling her stories that he hadn’t been able to think about in centuries. Now that…that gave him the energy he was desperately lacking. Fuck food, sleep, drugs. Being able to go back there in his head gave him a rush unlike anything he could have imagined. There was something about toeing that line between life and death closer than he had in a long damn time that let him fall into those moments. A memory would hit him and it was like he could feel Janey in his arms. The weight of her little body that had felt heavier by the day as the years of her life blew by. The warmth of her tiny hand in his. The tiny breaths she’d take when she’d drifted off to sleep.
“I miss her so fucking much.”
Kate slid her hand over his, but kept her eyes on the sky, her other arm tucked behind her head. The apples of her cheeks stained red under a freckling of dust, the only sign that the sun did in fact still rise and set behind the thick cloud cover. A loose frizzy strand of her hair whipped in the wind.
She didn’t offer him any kind words, didn’t give him any pity, just let him talk. He liked it better that way. Nothing but finding Janey would make any of this better. Still, he was grateful for what Kate did give him. The safety net he needed that let him go back to happier days in his mind. Couldn’t have let himself slip away that long without someone watching his back, and there was no one else he could trust not to sink a blade into it.
Those stolen moments were brief though. Had to keep moving. Had to get somewhere, anywhere, and fast. They kept up their brutal pace, using those memories to fuel their fire until eventually a tiny patch of trees came into view.
“Cooper, tell me you see it too,” she pleaded through ragged breaths, not daring to slow her sprint. Too afraid the patch of trees before them would disappear if she slowed down now.
Cooper huffed out an unhinged laugh, “I fucking see it, honey.”
The closer they got, the more he let relief worm its way in. Kate let out a raspy squeal of excitement as they breached the treeline. The whispers of hope that filled her wan face filled his chest with hope of his own as they took in the sight before them. A lone, feeble looking mutfruit plant bearing shriveled, barely edible fruit. Looked like a damn gourmet meal to them.
They wasted no time, each ripping a piece from the tree. Cooper sank his teeth into the pruney skin, savoring the overly ripe, sickly sweet juices as if it was the finest piece of fruit he’d ever eaten. Manners flew straight out the fucking window for both of them as they scarfed down their fill.
Cooper had finished the last bite of fruit and was sucking the juices off his fingers, when she let out a muffled giggle. He looked up to find her covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed a too large bite, juices dripping down her chin.
“You missed some,” she said around her mouth full of mutfruit, pointing to his chin.
Cooper wiped his chin, “better?”
The corners of her eyes crinkled as she shook her head, gulping down the fruit in her mouth. “I think you just need a bath.”
He guffawed as he took her in. The mess of purple that stained her lips, the trail of juice that dribbled down her chin. The layers of dust and debris that covered her body. Her hair, frizzed and thrown into a messy bun atop her head. “Honey, you ain’t one to talk.”
Her slightly unhinged giggling only intensified as she tried to wipe her face, missing ninety percent of what she wore.
He waved her over to him, “come here, I’ll get it.”
She stepped forward, trying to bite back a laugh as she held her face up to him. He swiped his thumb along her chin, wiping away the purplish staining. When his gaze flicked back up to hers, he found new life swimming in those stormy greys. The corners crinkled with joy, relief, and something more.
“Better,” she asked, when he didn’t let her go.
Her face was still smattered with dirt, burnt by the sun, but he didn’t think she’d ever looked more beautiful. “Perfect.”
Kate had shown Cooper her true colors since they’d left that bunker. And she was so goddamn vibrant it hurt. She shouldn’t have survived that. Most people wouldn’t have. The weight of her memories hadn’t stopped her. Cooper knew too well that even the happy ones had a weight to them. Sometimes the happy memories were heavier than the painful ones. And as if that wasn’t enough, life had dropped twisters down before her and she’d given it the middle finger and kept on runnin’.
He found himself so wrapped up in the awe of her that he didn’t think twice when he closed the space. Her lips were soft and sweet, perfectly sculpted to fit his own. Like she was made for him, but he remembered himself, who he was and who he wasn’t. So he pulled away and accepted that he was not the man who held her heart.
“Wait,” she said softly, her hands gripping his jacket and pulling him back towards her, “please don’t stop.”
When she asked so sweetly, how could he refuse?
When he kissed her again, he fully accepted that he wouldn’t have her forever, but if all he got was this, it would have to be enough. He kissed her like it was their last one, cause he never knew which one it would be, but he knew that day would come all too soon. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed up onto her toes. Maybe she’d also accepted their end was rapidly approaching. She sure as hell kissed him like she did.
He walked her back until she was pressed against a tree, stepping between her legs. Her lithe finger slipped below the collar of his shirt. Fuck, her touch shouldn’t have felt that damn good. Didn’t know if he’d ever experienced a woman’s touch quite like hers, ever. It wasn’t fair to compare her to anyone, no one else stood a chance against her.
He slid his hand under her shirt, appreciating the way her belly twitched as skin met skin. Her hips rolled into his. His cock started to strain against his zipper–
Crack.
They both jumped as lightning crashed, splitting the sky in two over them. The leaves of the mutfruit they devoured skirted past their feet on a gust of wind. The promise of a new storm rolling in filled the air.
Kate groaned as she let her head fall back against the tree with a thud. His forehead sank to her shoulder as he huffed out a laugh.
“Can I bitch just this once,” she asked, her hand gently caressing his shoulder.
He stared at her, dumfounded. “You coulda been bitchin’ for weeks and I wouldn’t have judged.”
She smiled weakly. “I am so fucking tired.”
Raindrops pattered onto the tops of her cheeks, creating streaks in the dirt that plastered her skin.
“That’s all you got to say?”
“And fuck this place,” she declared. As if on queue another bolt of lightning lit up the sky.
The corner of his mouth tipped up as he took her hand and dragged her away from the tree. “Come on sweetheart, we made it this far. A little further won’t kill us.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure of that,” she groused, jogging after him.
“Who you kidding, not even a tornado is strong enough to take out the Kate Lockley.”
She let out a low chuckle, one that did nothing good for the hard on in his pants. “Careful Cooper, you keep talking like that and you might give me a god complex.”
“A god complex would look awfully pretty on you.”

_______________________________________

“I say we kill ‘em and take it all.”
“Cooper,” Kate chided as she slapped him in the chest. “If everyone I came across when I worked the caravan had that sentiment, I’d be dead.”
“And if I treated every damn merchant I came across the way I treated you, I’d have been dead two centuries ago,” he countered, his hand twitching around his pistol. “Besides, we ain’t got shit to trade.”
She waved at the caravan approaching them. “I’m sure I can find something in my bag.”
A woman in the group raised her hand up in greeting. Behind her a man and another woman flanked a brahmin. All dressed in worn leather and rusted armor, their rifles at the ready.
“You lookin’ to trade,” the woman called from down the road.
“We are,” Kate called back all cheery.
“You got five minutes to make something worthwhile happen or I start shootin’,” Cooper murmured.
“Ooh, always so aggressive,” she teased. Playing it cool, but he caught her subtly slide a small blade into her sleeve. “Distract the guards for me?”
“Yes ma’am,” he drawled in that way that brought a faint staining to her cheeks.
“You’re fuckin’ killing me,” she groaned.
After their little makeout session yesterday, they hadn’t had much time to quench their thirst, but a whole lotta time to keep stoking that damn fire. Wasn’t long before Oklahoma came alive with the creatures that called it home. Felt good to kill something after all that bullshit, but fuck did he just want to get laid. Kate looked fucking hot when she shot a gun, and that mouth of hers got downright filthy in the heat of battle. Unfortunately for the poor bastards approaching them, the nearly constant ache in his pants was making his trigger finger impossibly itchier.
Kate, on the other hand, had a bounce in her step like she didn’t have a care in the world. Only fools didn’t have a care out here, and Kate was no fool. No, she knew exactly what she was doing.
A weasley looking man stepped forward while the two women kept their rifles drawn, both glaring at Cooper. Completely underestimating the threat that Kate posed.
“Hey there,” Kate said with a wide smile, a hand outstretched. “Names Kate. Big guy over here goes by The Ghoul. Don’t worry, he ain’t nearly as menacing as the name may make him sound.”
The man gave her a weary look, slowly stretching out his hand to take hers. Her pleasantries always caught people off guard out here. Pleasant wasn’t something people got much of in the middle of nowhere.
“Names Ken. That’s Billie and Cordy. What’re you in the market for? Got a little of everything.”
“Food, chems. Maybe some ammo depending on what you got.” She swung her bag around. A enticing smile stretched across her face.“You look like a man with a keen eye for potential. Wait til you see what I got in here.”
Cooper had gone through her bag plenty of times to know she had nothing but trash and some mixtapes from a buncha no names in there. So he kept an ear out as he headed towards Billie and Cordy. More out of curiosity rather than concern. Kate could handle herself. He just loved watching her work.
“Afternoon,” he drawled as he sauntered over. “Either of you ladies fans of westerns? Been told a time or two I do a mean Cooper Howard impression,” he said, casting out his bait.
The two women exchanged an unimpressed glance before looking back at him flatly. No worries, he’d reeled in tough crowds before. While he ran through his greatest hits, Kate worked at reeling in ole Ken.
“Now, when I found this here, I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Kate said excitedly as she pulled a rusty curling iron out of her bag. Thank god Cooper knew his lines better than he knew the back of his melted hand cause he just had to know how she was gonna sell a curling iron to man so bald his head reflected the midafternoon sun.
“I ain’t interested in buying pre-war junk,” Ken said dismissively, waving her off.
“Kenny, Kenny, Kenny. Let me stop you right there. This ain’t junk,” she exclaimed, playing the part of snake oil salesman expertly. Ken looked none too pleased with the nickname, but as he opened his mouth to correct her, she cut him off. “This here was invented by the US military to aid in their ‘interviews’ of foreign adversaries,” Kate explained, keeping her voice low enough that the woman likely couldn’t hear her. “Apparently, this thing was so damn feared, one look at it had even the toughest eggs spilling their best kept secrets.”
Jesus Christ Kate.
Cooper was just about ready to show these people what a real western shootout looked like when Ken took the bait.
“Shit, how the hell did they use that thing?”
“Depends. Possibilities are endless really, but apparently this thing can get so damn hot it can melt flesh from bone.”
Cooper had picked up Barb’s once, didn’t realize it was still hot. He could attest it sure as hell felt like it could have taken his skin right off.
Ken took it from her, testing out the clamping mechanism himself as he turned it in his hand. A bit horrified at whatever image he was drumming up in his head. “Sounds awfully interesting, but I ain’t exactly in the market for torture devices.”
“Oh Ken, don’t think so small! Who says you need to use that with malicious intent. I’m sure you could fry a sausage up real well in that thing. Regardless, the parts in there make it a real prize.”
“It does look like some real solid craftsmanship,” Ken observed.
“Of course it is! It was made by the US military. They wouldn’t have given our late great war heroes anything subpar.”
Yes. Yes they absolutely fucking woulda. But Kenny didn’t seem to know that.
Kate’s eyes met Cooper’s, a knowing grin subtly playing on her face that Ken was too distracted to have noticed. So damn smug.
Satisfied that Kate was going to wring every last cap she could outta the man, Cooper turned his full attention back to the guards. Both women were now staring at him with a bit of awe as he finished his monologue from The Man from Deadhorse. Newage folk really loved that film for some reason. The pair clapped excitedly, making him feel ever like a damn show pony.
“It’s uncanny,” Billie marveled. “I’ve seen that one at least fifty times. Never have I seen anyone capture Cooper Howard so well.”
While impressed, Cordy didn’t seem nearly as enthralled by him as Billie was. Her eyes shifted over Cooper’s shoulder, checking in on Ken’s business dealings. The man was clearly an idiot, but women tended to be a bit harder to pull one over on. Especially caravan guards. Had to have some wits about ya to keep a job like that, and by the looks of her, she wasn’t new to this life.
“How long you lot been workin’ out here,” Cooper asked, injecting a bit of honey into his drawl, trying to pull Cordy’s attention back to him.
“Years,” Cordy replied blandly, keeping her suspicious gaze locked onto Kate as she pulled more junk from her pack.
“Years? That must make you a bit of an expert on this area.”
Her eyes shifted back to his, “you could say that.”
“How lucky am I then,” Cooper exclaimed as he slung his own pack off his shoulder, pulling out their map and handing it to Cordy. “I got this map here, but can’t make much sense of it. We got ourselves turned around so many damn times I got no clue what direction we’re headed in anymore. Think you can take a look at it for me?”
“On one condition,” Billie cut in, reaching for her own pack. as she reached into her pack. She pulled out a faded piece of paper and passed it over to him. He stared down at it, his smooth face stared back at him. “Can you sign this for me? You may not be the real deal, but, you’re the closest thing I’ll get to meeting the real Cooper Howard.”
A wide smile stretched across Cooper’s face. “I think I can manage that.”

“Kenny, you are a businessman through and through. Don’t think I’ve ever seen a more efficient operation than what you got going on here. It was a real pleasure.”
“Likewise,” Ken said, a pleased smile, despite Kate walking away far richer than she shoulda been. Maybe not in caps, but definitely in supplies.
Kate hurried back to Cooper, desperately wanting to get the fuck out of their as quickly as possible. The jet she’d bought was already burning a hole in her pocket. It had been weeks since she’d had a fix of anything, and while she had no intentions of letting the chems consume her again, she wasn’t interested in a life without some escape.
Chems and liquor were a part of the game. A part she really fucking enjoyed, so she was gonna let herself have it. After surviving the last few weeks, Kate had a brand new lease on life.
One that she probably wouldn’t have had if Cooper hadn’t been there watching her back while she worked through it. It had been hell and they both deserved to unwind a little.
She stepped up to her cowboy’s side as he handed back a prewar picture of himself to Billie. His signature still wet across the page. Kate gave him a puzzled look which he returned with a look that promised a full recap later.
“You’re not far. Could probably make it by nightfall,” Cordy said as she looked over their map. “But there ain’t shit out there. It’s just some ruins of an old town. Barely anything left of it but a couple foundations. Not far off you got some old roadways, but I can’t imagine you’ll find anything out there.”
“Well then,” Kate cut in as she wrapped her hand around Cooper’s arm. “Sounds like we should get movin’. Appreciate the help. Safe travels!”
“Y’all have a nice day now,” Cooper drawled as he tipped his hat like a real southern gentleman.
She swore she saw Billie’s knees wobble.
Ignoring the near swooning, Kate tugged him along the dusty path trying to put as much distance between them and the caravan before–
“Ken! You stupid son of a bitch,” Cordy shouted.
Kate looked over her shoulder to see her smacking the man in the arm with the curling iron she’d passed off as a torture device. Little did Cordy know, all she was doing was proving Kate’s point. There were so many ways one could use that curling iron. A real multitool. Cordy found it to be a rather effective club, and by the looks of it, she was thinking of using it on Kate next. “Hey! You get back here!”
“Sorry,” Kate called over her shoulder as she sprinted off, “got a real strict no refund policy. Pleasure doing business with ya!”
Ooh, Cordy was fucking pissed. Kate couldn’t contain her wild laughter as the woman chased after them ranting and raving, waving the rusty curling iron in the air.
Cooper looked at her with an amused grin of his own. “You really got a thing for fucking with people don’t you?”
“Oh come on now Cooper, you’ve known me long enough to know that being manipulative is my favorite pastime.”

Chapter Text

2289

NCR

“Bottoms up,” someone shouted over the cacophony of the crowded bar.

Cooper slammed back his shot, followed by the second that had magically appeared before him. Trying his damndest to catch up to the group’s collective buzz, but it was no use. He could outdrink a smoothskin any damn day of the week. Even the ones who’s livers were well past pickled.

“God that is fucking terrible,” Kate declared as she slammed her glass down on the table, straight faced. Her eyes all glassy. Clearly fucking feeling it. It wasn’t often Cooper found himself jealous of smoothskins, but he’d give anything to feel the liquor the way she was. She swayed a bit as she slumped back in her seat. Her eyes flicked over to him, a sly smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she caught him watching her. She motioned towards the bottle of tequila in the middle of the card table. “Pour me another cowboy.”

Cooper looked her over. “Looks like you’ve had enough.”

Her brows raised. Some clarity came back to her face as she shot him a withering stare. “I don’t recall asking your opinion.”

“Shit, can you not piss her off tonight,” Rolan pleaded from across the table. As far as people went out here, he wasn’t terrible. Older, probably close to Cooper’s age when the bombs fell. Mid 40s. Another gunslinger. Started poppin up a few years back. Likely had some tragic backstory. They all did. 

Cooper wasn’t exactly friendly, but a bit of socializing was necessary from time to time. And overall this group wasn’t too bad. Even Kate was letting her hair down, which was a rarity in itself.

But right now, Kate was just pissed. She raised her hands in the air defensively. “Everyone wants to complain when I’m being a bitch. Which I find to be one of my best qualities, by the way. But here I am, having a little fun for once and you’re hell bent on ruining my—

“Alright quit your bitchin’,” Cooper said, snatching the bottle from the table. 

She relaxed back into her seat, crossing her legs all dainty like while she watched him pour her another drink.

“Thank you,” she said sweetly, tapping him on the arm, “keep the bottle for your troubles.”

“Hey! I paid for that,” some poor bastard from across the table shouted.

“To share. Equally,” she pointed out. “Takes three times as much liquor to get his world spinning. It’s only fair.”

“You buying another bottle for the table then?”

She looked at the poor bastard like the idiot he was. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

Cooper chuckled as he slung the bottle back and finished off the last third. The woman could, and often did, get away with murder. She’d give you one hell of a tongue lashing and reward you after as a reward for sitting there and taking it. Sometimes with liquor, sometimes with desperately needed info. Sometimes all she gave was a pretty smile that had the world spinning faster than liquor ever could. 

“Don’t sound awfully fair to me,” the man grumbled as he sat back, shifting his focus back to the cards in his hand. 

Kate glared at him. Rolin rolled his eyes and leaned back, trying to keep himself out of whatever the hell was about to go down. Could never really tell how she was gonna respond.

“I think all of you need to be fucking grateful that I am in a fantastic mood tonight. All I wanna do is unwind a bit, but you all seem real keen on winding me right the fuck up.”

The poor bastard raised a hand, accepting that he well and truly was not going to win that fight. Wasn’t worth it. It paid to be on Kate’s good side. She had a way with rumors. They always seemed to find her, and if she “liked ” someone she may even share some of those rumors, usually for a fee. Thing about Kate’s “rumors” were they always seemed to be true.

Kate softened once more as she shifted her attention back to her cards. “I knew you were smarter than you looked. Now, just sit there and take it like a man while I wipe the floor with your sorry ass.”

“Big talk for someone who lost every damn hand last time,” Rolin scoffed.

The corner of her mouth tipped up. “Watch it,” she scolded him halfheartedly from behind her cards.

Hand for hand they went with no real end in sight. The drinks were flowing, laughs were being shared, even the music was good. And Kate was just too damn fun to watch. She had this harshness about her most of the time that seemed to fade away as the night went on. Gifted him with a few of those real smiles, the ones that she’d bite her lip in an effort to hide, but the liquor flowing through her veins betrayed her.

“Alright, I’m out,” she declared as she threw down her losing hand.

“Oh come on, it’s still early. How ‘bout I buy us another bottle,” Rolin offered, doing his best to entice her to stay. She was losing badly, but she had the crowd hooked on her.

 “Who says I’m going anywhere? I ain’t ready for this party to end, I’m just done getting my ass kicked,” she replied while she dug through her bag.

“Well if you’re holding up a seat, maybe you should be getting the next round.”

“Funny Rolin,” she said dryly, turning back to the table.

The gentle swipe of her hand over his thigh had Cooper stiffening. She leaned her elbows on the table, shaking a canister of jet. Making eyes at him that seemed to say a whole lotta things that would be better shared behind closed doors. Her gaze flicked down to his pants as she brought the canister to her lips. He followed her gaze to his thigh to find a canister of jet sitting there. 

Now he was the damn fool sinking his teeth into his lip, trying to bite back his smile. When he looked back up to her, she was already floating off in the clouds somewhere. Her head hung back, her mess of curls trailing over the seat back. Euphoria painted on her face.

“Guess I don’t need to get that bottle then,” Rolin murmured.

“Get the fuckin’ bottle Rolin,” she commanded through her haze.

Rolin’s brows hit his forehead as he exchanged an amused glance with Cooper. 

Cooper shook his head. She was something. “You heard her. Get the fuckin’ bottle,” Cooper ordered before he followed Kate to the clouds.

Kate was feeling it. Really fucking feeling it. She let her head fall back as her hips swayed to the music, letting herself get lost in the vibes a bit. When was the last time she even danced like this? Had to be a while given how stiff her hips felt at first. It hadn’t taken her long to find her rhythm though. God she hadn’t had a night like this in ages . The music, drugs and liquor were all hittin’. Company wasn’t shitty for once.

She looked up to find The Ghoul watching her with a roguish smile. Most definitely checkin’ her out. She’d been basking in his gaze all damn night. Only reason she stayed at that card table. Her own smile stretched wide as she stepped in closer to him, “you havin’ fun cowboy?”

He nodded, a heat simmering in his eyes as he leaned in closer. “Don’t know who's havin’ more fun here. You or I.”

She sucked in a sharp breath, inching herself closer to him, “tough to say really. All I know is not a damn thing could ruin this night.”

“Holy shit! Look at this crowd we got here!”

Kate’s swaying hips stuttered at the sound of that grating voice she hated so damn much. With a groan, she fell into The Ghouls chest, leaning her head on his shoulder. Fuck he smelled nice.

“You had to say it didn’t you,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. He may have been a bit pissed at her but the way his voice rumbled through her had her thinking of all the stupid shit she could do to make him say something like that again. 

She sighed, tapping a hand against his chest before pushing off him and spinning around. She leaned back, resting her elbows on the bar as she took in what she unintentionally willed into existence. Ricky fucking Cartwright and his gaggle of jetheads he used as packmules.

“I don’t think there’s a full set of teeth between them,” she grumbled, watching them take up the seats the three of them had abandoned at the card table.

“Nope,” Rolin commented, “and somehow less brain cells than a pack of ferals….” He cast a wary glance towards The Ghoul, realizing the offense too late.

“I’ll let that one slide. Only cause you’re right,” he drawled as he leaned on the counter beside her. The heat of the arm he’d slid behind her radiated into her back.

“Why do we keep him around,” Kate asked low enough that not even Rolin picked it up.

“Gives us all someone to hate besides each other,” The Ghoul replied.

There was some strange comradery in it. 

Ricky looked up from the table, his eyes brightening with feigned excitement as he spotted them. He stretched his arms out wide, “gang really is all here!”

This is what Ricky did. Played nice, obnoxiously so, trying to appear like the life of the party. Wouldn’t be long before the back handed comments started flowing, and Kate was willing to bet they’d be mostly directed at her.

“Hey Dick! How’s it hanging,” Kate called over, her lip curling into a sneer that might have passed as a smile. Not that she cared.

The bar fell into hushed murmurs, everyone interested in where this was going. Ricky Cartwright was one of the worst human beings she’d ever met. Rude, loud, generally creepy. Rubbed everyone the wrong way. When Ricky Cartwright came around, the night was bound to end up a shitshow.

“It’s Ricky,” he deadpanned. “Why don’t you come over here and let me beat that ass of yours…at cards that is.”

Kate straightened, her teeth clenching as her hands curled into fists. “I swear to fucking god–”

Rolin’s hand on her shoulder halted her before she could wallop the piece of shit. “Funny Dicky, last I checked you lost so badly at blackjack cause you couldn’t count past 10. Just kept saying “hit me” like a damn fool. How high did you end up going til someone finally cut you off? 28 was it? And here you are, back for another spanking. You wanna just skip the fanfare and bend over for me now?”

Chuckles filled the tense air. Kate really liked Rolin. 

Ricky joined in with a dry laugh. “That’s a good one. Listen, I know we have our differences and all, but I just want to have a good night. Why don’t you three come join me for a few rounds. We’ll keep things friendly.”

Kate, The Ghoul, and Rolin all glared at Ricky. None buying his song and dance.

He sighed. “I’ll buy the drinks.”

“Well shit, why didn’t you lead with that,” The Ghoul quipped as he pushed off the bar, his hand hooking around her elbow, tugging her along. She cast a glance back at Rolin who shrugged but followed them over. 

Kate slumped down into the chair The Ghoul pulled out for her, letting her legs fall wide as she crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t give a shit if Ricky wanted to play nice, she didn’t fucking believe it. So she was gonna be a bitch the entire fucking time.

“Get up,” The Ghoul ordered Ricky’s packmule who was currently taking up the chair beside her.

“I ain’t going anywhere,” he replied with a bit too much edge in his voice, foolishly casting a glare up at The Ghoul. 

The Ghoul stared at him blandly, not even dignifying him with a reaction. When the man settled further into the chair The Ghoul grabbed the seat back and dumped him directly onto the dusty floor. Kate and Rolin sniggered as the man scrambled back enough not to get crushed when The Ghoul dropped the chair back down. He took his place beside her, scooting in close enough that his knee rested against hers. 

“Marty,” Ricky snapped at the man on the floor, “go get us a bottle. Top shelf.”

“It’s Marky,” he corrected as he stood, brushing off his stained jeans.

“I don’t give a shit what you’re name is, I said go get us a fucking bottle. Now . Unless you want the shakes tonight.”

Ricky paid his packmules in chems. Lots of chems. No caps. Kept them poor and hooked until they eventually died on the job. None of ‘em ever lasted all that long. Ricky was a bad person. None of them here were any good, but he was bad . Wrong. 

“You two gonna quit making eyes at each other or am I gonna be wholly responsible for maintaining our damn dignity” Rolin whispered as the cards were dealt out.

“Can maintain my dignity just fine all by myself,” Kate murmured as she peaked at her terrible hand. While all the sideways glances and flirty banter had kept the pair in their earlier game more for appearances, there was no fucking way she was about to lose to this motherfucker. 

Marky shuffled his way back towards the table with what was clearly not top shelf whiskey, serving each of them a glass.

“Now Dick, you know I’m gonna need a whole lot more booze than that for you to even have a shot at beatin’ me,” The Ghoul said, holding out his flask. 

Ricky rolled his eyes and motioned to Marky, “fill ‘em up.”

The liquor didn’t do anything to soften the blows the three of them dealt Ricky. He was a horrible card player. Kate wasn’t all that great, but she could hold her own when needed. Round after round they humiliated Ricky. It was the only thing that made listening to him brag about his latest “big job” tolerable. That and the fact that everytime he said something truly ludacris The Ghoul knocked his knee into Kate as if to say “you fuckin’ believe this shit?” That actually had her praying that he’d keep spinning his outlandish tales.

“Read em and weep,” The Ghoul drawled as he laid his hand down on the table.

Ricky balked at the hand, tossing his cards into the center of the table in frustration.

“You’ve won the last five rounds. Seems a little suspicious to me. I’m starting to think you may be counting cards.”

The Ghoul cut him with a glare. “You callin’ me a cheater?”

He held his hands up, but didn’t lose any of the bravado. “I’m just saying, seems awfully suspicious you got so many good hands.”

Kate knocked her knee into The Ghoul, encouraging whatever he was cooking up in his head. 

“Listen, Dickhead—”

“It's RICKY,” he boomed, the packed bar falling silent again at the brazen outburst.

The Ghoul’s face twisted into a sneer.

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to like that,” Rolin marveled at his stupidity. 

Kate was practically vibrating with anticipation. She loved when The Ghoul popped off.

“Seems to me you forgot your place Dicky,” she lilted.

Ricky waved her off without even glancing her way.  “Stay outta this the men are ta–”

His eyes went wide as Kate launched herself across the table. No fucking way she was gonna let him get away with another insult. Chips and cards went flying out from under her feet. Beer bottles tumbled to the ground. The shattering acted as a starting pistol for the entire bar to descend into chaos. 

Kate reached out for Ricky, but he scurried out of her reach,  hiding behind his band of jetheads.

Kate stood to her full height atop the table, watching him push his way through the chaos, trying to escape. Fists and taunts were flying with reckless abandon. Bottles shattered. Chairs splintered. 

Fuck, did she love a good bar fight. Honestly, who didn’t? It was like a ritual. There was a whole set of unspoken rules. Sacred rules. Only fighting with fists and random shit found around the bar. Really leveled out the playing field. People got pretty creative with their weapon choices. One time, she’d see a guy grab a mounted Deathclaw head from the wall and use the horn to disembowel a guy. A bit over the top as far as bar fight injuries go, but she had to give the guy style points. 

Kate reveled in the chaos around her, kicking back one of Ricky’s pack mules as they tried ripping her off the table. Ricky cast a panicked glance over his shoulder, paling under her murderous gaze. 

“No use running Dicky, you know I’m gonna catch you,” she taunted as she stepped off the table into the frey.

“50 caps says I get him first,” Rolin shouted as he smashed a beer bottle over some guy’s head.

“I’m gettin’ in on this shit too,” The Ghoul called over the roaring crowd as he slammed Marky’s head into the card table. Barely even putting effort into it. It was incredibly hot. 

The corner of her mouth tipped up as she hurled her fist at the next person who dared get in her way. “Gonna be the easiest 100 caps I’ve ever made.”

She worked her way through the crowd. Each body she dropped only fueling her fire until there was nothing but a few poor souls separating her and Ricky. His eyes went wide as saucers when he realized how close she was.

She dodged a punch, pushing the person to the floor as she headed straight for him. “Oh, once I get my hands you–”

An arm wrapped around her throat, dragging her back against a sweaty body and squeezing off her air. Ricky gave her a menacing smile as she worked to break free. 

Outta nowhere, Rolin came flying in. He caught Ricky off guard and clocked him in the face.“Woo! Be ready to pay up fuckers!”

Ricky stumbled back, but managed to stay upright. Cold fury lined his face as he stepped back up to Rolin. He was so caught up in the excitement of his win he didn’t catch the blade Ricky had slid between his fingers. 

“Watch out,” Kate screamed as she burst free of the arm that restrained her, but it was too late. Ricky’s fist connected with Rolin’s eye, pulling a horrid scream from him as it sank in. Kate frantically shoved her way through the crowd as she headed for Rolin. He rolled back and forth on the floor, screaming, his hands reaching for the blade still lodged in his eye. 

Then Ricky did something truly terrible. Something not even she anticipated, but she shoulda. He lifted his foot and stomped down on the hilt, driving the blade further into his head. Kate watched in horror at Rolin’s body twitching as death took him underneath Ricky’s foot.

Cooper wrapped his hand around Ricky’s scrawny neck a moment too late for poor Rolin. The bar fell into hushed murmurs, everyone abandoning their fights. Their opponents now their companions in bearing witness to the excessive violence. This wasn’t how a bar fight was supposed to go. 

Bar fights were necessary in the new world. It helped maintain order, settle grievances, establish power. Hell, it just helped blow off some steam. Punching someone in the face for the fun of it was fucking cathartic. 

This was not the way this should have gone. This was cowardly.

Kate crouched down beside Rolin, confirming what they all already knew. “You killed him,” she uttered in disbelief as she stared down at his body. Her piercing gaze snapped back up to Ricky squirming in Cooper’s hold, gasping for air. She stood to her full height, her lip curling in disgust. “You fucking coward!”

This was a big fucking deal. 

Ricky attempted to plead his case in vain, unable to get a word out around Cooper’s grip. Didn’t matter. He had no fucking case. Once Kate had him stripped of his weapons, Cooper eased his grip, but made no move to step back.

“I’m gonna give you thirty seconds,” he seethed, “and then I am going to hunt you down like the animal you are. And when I catch you, I promise I will kill you slowly.”

Ricky scoffed, “you can’t fucking do that.”

“Doesn’t look like anyone’s gonna stop me.”

Ricky looked around the packed bar. Every single person there, including the settlement security, glared back at him. Not even his damn pack mules seemed inclined to save him this time. He’d gone too far.

“Better get to runnin’” Cooper said dryly as he shoved him back. 

Ricky stumbled, landing against a table. He looked around the bar one last time in a desperate search for anyone who may save him from his fate. 

“Clocks ticking,” Kate warned, her voice smokey, but laced with the promise of pain and suffering. Ricky took those promises to heart and scurried out of the bar.

Cooper pushed past the gaggle of patrons taking in the bloody sight of Rolin’s body as he calmly headed for the door. His boots crunching on the shattered glass carpeting the floor. Kate came up beside him, pulling on her jacket as she exchanged a knowing glance with him. There was no question in their minds where this was about to go, and Ricky had earned every second of it. 

Kate tossed a handful of caps at the barkeep on their way out. “Give him a proper burial. Mark his grave.”

In death, all she could give him was this kind gesture. One few people would have cared to give. She may have pretended like she was cold and heartless, but he doubted she’d ever lose that intrinsic good to her.

The pair pushed through the creaky door, greeted by the cool night air of the desert. Cooper took in the empty roadways, dimly lit by flickering lantern light. Stars dotted the sky above, not a cloud present to dim their light. Another beautiful night stained with death.

“That way,” Cooper said, motioning to their left.

“What gave that away? The tracks,” she asked sarcastically, brushing past him to follow the path of sprint streaked footprints in the dust. 

“Well excuse me honey. If you don’t need my help then lead the way,” he replied as he fell in line behind her. 

Eventually his trail disappeared completely. Blown away by the winds that rolled through the settlement. Cooper looked at her expectantly. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the roadway, studying for any signs of him.

“This way,” she said a moment later. Picking up a blood spot on a railing. Likely slit his hand open on his own blade.

He let out a low whistle. “I guess you can track.”

“Of course I can,” she replied, her face pinched in offense. 

He knew she could. Hell, she’d even tracked him before, letting him lead the way to the target they were both after. But needling her was so damn fun.

They made it all the way to the far edge of the settlement before the trail finally went cold. 

The pair looked out into the wide expanse of the desert. The gusts were stronger there without the shelter of the buildings. Any tracks he would have left would have been covered immediately in sand.

“Where to now, sweetheart?”

She leveled him a stare. “Hell if I know, he could be anywhere now. Likely heard us comin’ from a mile away with those damn spurs. Clinkin’ away over there. Givin’ up our spot. Why the hell do you wear those damn things?”

He chuckled. “I’ll show you. Go hide.”

“We don’t got time for silly games. He’s gonna get away.”

“No he ain’t. I already found him anyway.”

She peered back out into the desert, looking in the completely wrong direction. “I think you’re seeing shit.”

He placed his hand on top of her head and turned her until she was looking a couple hundred yards to their side. She squinted as she looked off in the distance to a scraggly patch of bristle, shaking unnaturally from Ricky trembling in fear. 

“Well damn cowboy. Here I thought you were half blind after all these years. How the hell can you see that far?”

“I see better at night. Now go hide. Let me teach you a lesson.”

She leaned on a hip, crossing her arms over her chest, quirking a brow at him. “What lesson would that be?”

He stepped in close enough that his chest hit her arm. Her lips parted as he gazed down at her. “Why there ain’t no sense in trying to hide from me when I come lookin’ for you,” he murmured.

So damn ominous, Kate thought, letting The Ghouls' words roll through her mind. She laid on her belly, resting her chin on her arms as peeked over the edge of the roof, watching him stalk through the streets below. Not like he was doing a damn thing to hide his movements. Just clicking away. Made this too damn easy. 

She rolled onto her back, tucking her hands behind her head, taking in the night sky while she waited for him to wander off a bit further. It was beautiful, like always. She spent so many nights getting lost in that view. Especially with jet involved. Sometimes it felt like she left this world completely, flying through the cosmos instead. 

Sometimes she pictured her parents there. Enjoying a peaceful afterlife together. She wasn’t religious, but she couldn’t wrap her head around there being nothing after this life. Didn’t make sense. Maybe Rolin was there. He may have hunted heads for a living, but he wasn’t a bad man. She hoped the universe gave him more in death than it did life.

When the clicking of The Ghouls' footsteps faded from earshot, she pushed herself up, and headed off to her next hiding spot. He’d check the rooftops eventually. She leapt across the roofs until she hit the back of the settlement. 

This was too damn easy. Kate took pride in her ability to move so stealthily. Didn’t need no damn stealthboys to keep herself hidden from view. Just kept herself connected to the world around her, let herself melt into it. Made herself a lot of caps by just blending into her surroundings and selling any information she may have overheard. 

She shimmied down the side of the building, her feet nearly silent as they landed softly on the ground. Even gave herself a moment to straighten her clothes. Without a damn care in the world she flicked her hair over her shoulder and headed for the bristle bush Ricky was likely still cowering behind. She didn’t like the idea of just letting him sit there, alive and well. Justice needed to be served and she was itching to finally teach that man a lesson.

Click, click, click.

Her heart jumped into her throat as she took off into a sprint at the sound of spurs coming up behind her. Before she got very far he had her, his arms wrapped around her chest, pulling her flush against his body. An embarrassing shriek escaped her as she thumped against his chest.

“You didn’t even make that difficult,” he murmured against the shell of her ear, her brain short circuiting as the rumble of his voice flowed through her. “I thought you were better at staying outta sight than that.”

She turned her head to deliver her retort with a withering stare, but the words faltered on her tongue as she met his gaze. Pools of amber, a heat simmering within them. The years of rad exposure not strong enough to steal the beauty of them away. 

“Spurs got your heart pumping don’t they?”

Yeah, the spurs.

The rough edge to his voice did its best to sink its claws into her, but she found herself and shoved her way out of his hold despite her body screaming at her to sink further into him. 

“How’d you do that,” she asked, glaring at him as she adjusted her coat.

The corner of his mouth tipped up, “you sighed, it gave away your spot on that roof over there.”

She rolled her eyes at her own stupidity. “You gotta believe me when I say I don’t usually make it that easy.”

His chuckle in response was like a hand reaching out for her, trying to coax her back into his hold. “I’m well aware. Nearly got yourself shot the last time you popped up outta nowhere on me.”

It would have been worth it. The look on his face had been priceless.

“It just so fun fucking with you,” she tease as she headed off to find Ricky.

“So, what were you thinkin about up there that had you so distracted,” Cooper asked as he walked beside her.

“I was just looking at the stars. Been looking at that sky nearly every night for as long as I can remember, but the view never gets old.” She paused for a moment before casting a curious gaze his way. “Where do you think we go when we die?”

“You and I? Hell,” he scoffed.

“You believe in that shit?”

“I don’t think I really believe in anything anymore.”

“Oh come on, there’s gotta be something bigger than all this. If anything this life has just reassured me of that. Too many coincidences. Lucky breaks. Series of unfortunate events.”

“You tellin’ me you think some god up there is pulling the strings? Like we’re a bunch of puppets.”

“Eh, that sounds too simple. You learned science and shit way back when, right? In school.”

“Someone taught it to me, doesn’t mean I listened,” he replied blandly. Not letting the strangeness of her question show. School, real school, something he took for granted back in the day, now nothing more than a foreign concept to her.

“Okay, but follow me on this one. The building blocks of life are all the same, right? We’re all made of the same things. Just the packaging is different.”

“That’s watering it down quite a bit, but I guess.”

“Oh give me a break,” she said defensively, “most of my education comes from books my father smuggled outta the Boston Public Library. That place was so overrun with muties he wasn’t exactly reviewing the source material.”

“I ain’t judging. Impressive enough you can read, let alone form coherent thoughts.”

She smiled, clearly proud of herself. “What I’m trying to say is at the end of our existence, that’s all we are. We die, either rot away or get burned up. Our bodies get broken back down into those pieces, and our energy goes back off into the universe to become something new.”

“You took some more jet up there, didn’t you?”

The apples of her cheeks rounded as smiled stretched wide across her face with a pretty laugh. “Yeah. It’s good shit. You want some more?”

He smiled back at her. “Think I need some to get on your level.”

She dug into her pocket and tossed him the rest of the canister before continuing with her theory. “I think our spirits are something different though. Something unique to us that can’t be ripped apart.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“You feel like yours got ripped apart?”

He prickled with annoyance, “I don’t know what the fuck I feel, but I do know believe in karma.”

“What goes around comes around,” she said, a knowing smile playing on her face as they approached Ricky’s hiding spot.

“That’s right. You hear that Ricky,” he called out. “You’re gonna get yours, I promise.”

Ricky bolted out from behind the bush, trying to escape into the wide expanse of desert beyond the settlement. 

“You know how to use a lasso?”

She beamed with excitement. “You kiddin’ me? All my years spent caravanning, I never lost a brahmin.” Her brows furrowed. “Although I may be a bit rusty, it’s been years since I’ve used one…”

“Well, let’s see what you got,” he said, holding out the lasso to her.

She cast him a hesitant glance as she wrapped her gloved hand around the rope, her fingers brushing his. “You can’t judge me if I’m shit.”

“Never,” he promised. Probably one of the few he could count on keeping.

She gave him a weary smile but took the lasso from him. She rolled her shoulders, kept her chest proud as she flicked the lasso open. Giving her shoulder a few practice rolls as she tracked his movements. It was like he could see the energy traveling through her body, skating up from her wrist to her shoulder, rolling through her side, over the curve of her hips before fizzling out into the ground around her.

But just as she went to throw the rope, she tensed. When she released it, the rope went flying through the air, hitting the ground a few feet before Ricky.

“Dammit,” she cursed as she pulled it back.

“So close, honey. Gotta keep yourself relaxed. Here, let me help,” he said as he stepped up behind her and gripped her wrist. Every damn muscle in her body went taut under his hold. “Now that ain’t relaxing,” he said on a chuckle that had her stiffening even more.

Her shoulders sagged a bit on a sigh as she tried, but completely failed to loosen her muscles. 

“Breathe,” he murmured, bringing her wrist up and swirling it over her head. One by one her muscles let go, until he was able to roll her arm with ease. “That’s it. Now, just give it a little power, let it get some momentum…There you go. Watch your target, let go when it feels right.”

He stepped back to let her focus on the man running away from her while he remained completely transfixed on her. Years he’d spent trying to figure out exactly what it was about her that hooked him. 

It wasn’t that she was beautiful. Wasn’t like beautiful women stopped existing the second the bombs fell. Not one of them had grabbed his attention the way she did. No one had. Cooper didn’t see these people as more than a bunch of warm bodies taking up space. Apathetic didn’t come close to how he felt about this place. His entire life changed in a second. and he’d had no interest in anything else but finding out the truth until she came along. 205 years, 6 months, 11 days since he lost everything, he found…something.

She let the lasso fly with the fluid grace of a real rancher. A proud smile stretched wide on her face before it even reached Ricky, knowing full well she was gonna get that motherfucker. When it fell around him, that proud smile turned into one of determination as she pulled it tight. Tugging him back right off his feet. Cooper clapped as she dropped him to the ground and started dragging him in. “Now that’s how you do it!”

“Oh that felt fucking good,” she grunted, tugging his body back to her as he flailed wildly until he was just a few feet before them, begging for mercy.

Cooper stepped up to him and yanked him up by the rope. Ricky paled as he took in the melted face of The Ghoul. Cooper gave him a shake, loosening the rope around him.

“Please! Don’t kill me! I can pay,” he pleaded. His voice was about 3 octaves higher than usual. “I ain’t killing ya,” Cooper replied as he spun him around so he was facing the desert and pulled the rope off him. 

“Wait,” he huffed in disbelief, “you’re really letting me go.”

“Sure,” he replied pleasantly. Casting a glance over his shoulder to Kate who watched them with a lopsided grin. Cooper gave him a shove forward before heading back to Kate’s side, gathering the lasso. When he turned to face the desert once more, Ricky still stood there gawking at him. “Go on. Git!”

“That’s it?”

Cooper gave him a bored stare. “I recall promising you I would catch you, then kill you.”

“Slowly,” Kate added sweetly. 

“Very slowly,” Cooper promised.

“I don’t get it,” Ricky said, ever the fool. 

“I haven’t caught you yet.”

That terror that Cooper loved bearing witness to filled Ricky’s face once more as he stumbled back before taking off into a sprint.

“That’s it! Fast as you fucking can, I gotta show off here,” Cooper called after him, letting himself pretend for once he didn’t have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Just out on a date with a woman who he woulda put money on being a forever thing had their lives been normal.  

Chapter Text

2292

Oklahoma

“I would say there wasn’t a damn thing I liked about that man, but that would be a lie. Cause I sure as hell loved the way he squealed once that rope tightened around him,” Kate said on a laugh as she washed their clothes in the stream.

They’d set up for the night a few miles shy of their intended location. They coulda made it that night, but they were both too wiped to go into whatever could be awaiting them. So they caught a radstag and found a quiet spot near the river. Kate took the first watch letting him get washed up. While he scrubbed away the layers, she made him dinner. It was strange having someone offer that, even stranger he’d trust them enough to accept it. A good ‘strange’ though. 

“You handled getting roped in by me far better than he did,” Cooper replied as he buttoned up his still damp shirt. A smile stretched across his face at the memory of her scowling up at him as he dragged her across the ground. Woman was like a rabid hound when she wanted a bounty. Had to tie her to a tree to keep her out of his way. Threw her blade back at her on his way out with the severed head in his bag.

“Mmm, pull that shit again and I’ll stab you the second I’m free,” she warned with a smirk.

“Oh honey, I can’t imagine I’d be stupid enough to ever let you go again,” he replied as he sat  down against a tree to dig into his meal. Looked liked it was delicious. Couldn’t taste much anymore, but he could imagine. 

It had been weeks since he’d felt this content. Not worried that she was going to be ripped straight out of his hold for once. Able to just fall into his favorite show. Her.

The years hadn’t given him any clarity as to exactly what it was about her that made him feel normal. Wasn’t any point in trying to figure it out, cause really it wasn’t just one thing. How could he choose between that smile, that laugh, that wit, or that heart of hers? Some mysteries were better left unsolved anyways.

“I’ve always wondered something,” he said between bites. “Why did you have them mark Rolin’s grave?”

Kate wasn’t sentimental. There’d been others that she’d tolerated, sometimes even seemed to enjoy their company. And Cooper had seen her put a bullet between their eyes without a second thought. Rolin seemed no different than the rest of them.

She shook out Cooper’s spare shirt before she settled it onto a rock. A sad smile stretched across her face as she ran her hands along the fabric, smoothing it out. “Rolin had kids.”

“He told you that?”

She nodded as she pulled her shirt over her head. “And I told him he wouldn’t have em for much longer if he kept tellin’ people that bit of information.” She shimmed out of her pants. “He’d just started out. Real green. Met him in a bar, looking far too out of his depths for that crowd. Had no idea what he was gettin’ into with me. Just saw me as a kind face in the crowd.”

“Don’t they all?”

She raised a brow as she unclasped her bra. “Just the way I like it. Had him tellin’ me his whole life story within an hour. He had a wife too. Loved her so damn much he couldn’t keep his hands off her. Had six kids.”

They had to be fucking like rabbits. Also those rads had really crippled human breeding. These days three kids were considered a lot, six sounded damn near impossible.

“One day,” she continued as she shimmied out of her panties, “she got sick. Outta nowhere. She’d brought in the caps, worked in the local tavern while he’d worked the family farm. He was making it work, growing enough food to keep them going, but then the crops stopped producing. Figured bounty hunting woulda get him a lot of caps, fast.”

A tale as old as the wastes. Bounty hunting was rarely the quick fix people were looking for, and always came with more problems than what most were prepared to deal with. 

“That’s where you went off to that night? To find his family.”

She took a steadying breath before stepping into the water. Her body tensing as she wobbled across the rocks, “figured they deserved to know.”

She sucked in a sharp breath as the water came up to her waist.

“Damn, you really do have a bleeding heart.” He slung back the whiskey bottle, washing down the radstag. “You want some of this,” he offered, shaking the bottle in the air, “might warm you up a bit.”

She waved him off, “I got a good high going on right now.”

High, but there. Not off in the clouds. 

She disappeared below the water, popping back up a moment later her hair slicked back. Wiping the water from her face with her hands before sorting through the various jars and bottles she had placed along the shore. Her eyes shifted back up to him as she squeezed out the last of her hubflower shampoo into her hand.“You can’t really say I’m the one here with a bleeding heart when you tortured Ricky for hours for killing Rolin.”

He barked out a laugh. Might’ve been one of the most ludacris things he’d ever heard her say. “I didn’t do that for Rolin. Couldn’t have cared less what happened to him.”

She worked the shampoo into her scalp. “Then why did you do it?”

“Besides the fact that Ricky Cartwright had been driving me up a wall for years, that blade wasn’t meant  for Rolin. You were on a damn tear and far closer than Ricky. Woulda gotten him too if you didn’t get grabbed. That blade was for you.”

She blinked, looking a bit adorable with a crown of bubbles atop her head. “Huh. Guess I never thought of it like that. How sweet of you.” 

“Never thought torture would be considered a sweet gesture.”

She disappeared below the surface again. Bubbles gathered in her wake at the surface until she reemerged. 

“Times have changed Cooper,” she said as she wiped the water from her eyes. “You can’t just woo a woman with a handful of hubflowers anymore. Us new age women need something a little more meaningful.”

“Ricky Carwright hanging from the rafters of an old barn, screaming like a little girl, really do it for ya?”

“That’s offensive,” she deadpanned, “I never screamed that loud in all my life.” The corner of her mouth tipped up, giving up her ruse as she splashed water at him. She reached for a jar on the shore. Her smile turned into a frown as she looked at the contents. “Ugh, this is nowhere near enough to get leash on all this frizz.”

“I’m sure we can find a market after,” he trailed off, realizing what he was saying.

She smiled hesitantly, working what was left of the cream into her hair. “I’d like that. I’m enjoying running with you…I can help you find that executive vault if you want.”

He did. Desperately, but, “you gotta go home.” 

“The Commonwealth ain’t my home anymore, but you’re right. I do need to go back. Sort things out.” A line formed between her eyes, apprehension filling her face at the thought. “I got a little time though. As long as I get there by winter, I should be okay.” 

She sat back until the water reached her collar bone, giving Cooper her full attention while she let the cream soak in.

Cooper took a swig of the whiskey. He’d considered it, but didn’t want to slow her down. And if he found Janey while Kate was there…that complicated things. Still, the help would be nice. “Let’s finish this job first. You still wanna follow my ass around, I ain’t gonna turn down the help.”

Her smile stretched wide across her face. “I’ll wanna,” she replied before disappearing below the water again.

Fuck, did he hope that was true, cause he wasn’t ready to let her go just yet.

She re-emerged and made her way to the shore. Cooper’s gaze followed the cascade of water down her body as she stepped out of the water. She paused at the shoreline, the curves of her body on full display as she leaned over and wrung out the last of the water from her hair. A sultry smile stretched across her face when she caught him gawking at her.

“Now Cooper, how are you supposed to be lookin’ out for bad guys when you’re staring at me?”

“I got real good hearing. Ain’t shit out there.”

“Well then,” she purred as she flicked her hair over her shoulder, “stare away.”

“I planned on it.”

Cooper studied her as she went about her chores. The picture of feminine divinity. Every curve and dip of her was perfect. The image of her splayed out on that bed the first time he’d had her had been playing on steady repeat in his mind. He’d kill to savor her like that again.

So damn strange it was to feel desire like this again. He’d spent centuries going without and when he did, it was hard and fast, and took far too long for him to finish. With her, he liked sweet and slow, hard and fast was fun too, but he liked to draw that pleasure out.

“Nothings ever sparked my interest out here quite like you.”

She peaked over her shoulder as she smoothed her clothes out onto a rock. “Funny, I was just thinkin’ the same thing. Part of me wishes we figured that out sooner.”

“You know, I almost kissed you that night.”

She stood to her full height and padded her way over to him. He held out a hand, supporting her so she could sit on his lap. His other hand wrapped around her calf, sliding along her curves as she lowered. 

She reached up and clasped her hands behind his neck. “I most definitely would have let you. Although the whole Rolin thing soured the mood a bit.”

“Probably for the best, that woulda likely attracted all types of attention.”

They would have been a formidable pair and that would have put a target the size of a nuclear crater on their backs.

“I guess you’re right,” she mused as she leaned down and kissed his neck. Her hands slipped down, working at the top buttons of his shirt, exposing some of his chest to her. Not bothering to take her time getting to the point. “I need you Cooper. Think you can keep us from gettin’ shot while I do the work?”

“I think I can manage that,” he huffed out as she nipped at his marred skin, hitting that spot that was so somehow so fucking sensitive despite his condition. 

Her hands slid over his torso, just feeling. Not shying away from the toughened hills and valleys that had formed over the years. 

“Why doesn’t it bother you,” he asked, the thoughts that ran through his mind every time she touched him slipping out. 

She pressed a gentle kiss to his chest before leaning back, gently sliding her hands up his abdomen to his chest, then over his shoulders. Her lidded gaze flicked up to his as she slid her hands down his arms, gripping his wrists. “Do my scars bother you,” she asked, as she took his hands and slid them along her body.

“Of course not, but you’re different.” 

He studied the path of his hands as she guided them along every gouge, pucker, and line etched into her skin. Her scars were so different from his. Many of hers would likely fade over the years. He’d watched plenty of them do so in the short time he’d been with her. Even the bite on her shoulder had started to fade away,  the puckered edges a shade darker than her natural tone.

“I don’t think it’s all that different. When I look at you, I see a man who had some of the worst this world has to offer tossed his way, but he doesn’t give up. I see a man who has so much heart and determination that a nuclear bomb couldn’t stop him from trying to get back to those he loves. I see a man who has sacrificed all of himself for that one goal. I see a man who looks at me like I’m his moon and sun. A man who lights a spark in me I thought was long dead. A man who I want to make feel as good as he makes me feel.”

Her words had him in a near trance, his gaze reading the story of her own trials and tribulations scrawled across her skin. Maybe they weren’t all that different after all. 

“Tell me Cooper, why shouldn’t I want to run my hands all over you? Feel you underneath me? inside me? Give me one good reason.”

His gaze lifted to hers. A damn inferno burning behind the smokey grey. Suddenly he was completely tongue tied, unable to answer her questions.

She released his wrists, letting her hands roam the plains of his chest once more. Her teeth sank into her bottom lip as her hand traveled down his abdomen, then lower.

She tilted her head. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Never.” 

“Good, cause I don’t plan on it,” she replied, her voice low and smokey as she undid his pants. Her lips parting, all needy, as his hardened length sprang free. 

She took him in her hand, her head dropping to his neck once again. Kissing him with a hunger that emphasized every word she’d spoken. 

She wasted no time, lifting her hips and sinking back down onto him with a gasp as the silken heat of her enveloped him, her fingers sinking into his shoulders at the stretch. She leaned back, rolling her hips into him. Giving him a view so damn beautiful he could feel that coil in him already starting to tighten. 

He groaned as he gripped her hips tighter, feeling the power flow through her as she fucked him. The control she had over her own body was remarkable. Felt like she could articulate every vertebrae in her damn spine as she rolled on him. Burying his cock deep inside her.

Her gasps grew ragged the faster she worked him. The sunkissed tips of her cheeks burned brighter as her own pleasure grew, matching the flush across her chest. Her tits looked damn near hypnotizing, bouncing with each roll of her hips. He pulled her closer to him, leaning down and closing his lips around her peaked bud. 

A cry escaped her as she rolled it between his teeth, sending a damn lightning bolt right to his cock. Sex with her was fucking experience. One that he wanted to drag out as long as he could, but he felt the grip on his control start to slip.

He nipped his way back up her chest, his hand wrapping around the back of her head, bringing her face to his. Something primal taking over his mind. “I am gonna fuck you hard and fast until you’re coming on my cock, honey.”

All he gave her was one sinful kiss, with teeth and tongue, before he pulled her head to his shoulder. He thrust up into her, hard, working in tandem with the hand that gripped her ass rolling her into him. She buried her face into his shoulder, trying to stifle her moans, but the harder he fucked her, the louder she got. Her walls fluttered around him as the coil inside him threatened to spring free, completely unable to stifle his own groans.

“God Cooper. YES,” she cried out as she came apart on him, his own release shattering down over him with hers.

Coming with her felt like more than just an orgasm. Like the waves of her bliss intertwined with his. An experience all their own. One neither of them would ever find in another. Didn’t matter who else held her heart. Cooper couldn’t help but feel like there was a tiny piece of her all his own.

Her head went heavy on his shoulder, her legs shaking below his hands, the last bit of energy she had sucked out of her. 

“Come on honey,” he whispered in her ear as he lifted her gently, slipping himself from her, “you need sleep and I need to take watch a little more seriously before we get killed.”

“Can’t I just stay here,” she mumbled against his shoulder.

“What am I gonna do if something comes up on us?”

“Just toss me aside. Trust me, I’ve been thrown further, I can handle it.”

He chuckled, tucking himself back into his pants before reaching for his duster and laying it over her. “Five minutes,” he conceded as he wrapped his arms around her waist, cradling her against his bare chest.

Cooper knew he couldn’t keep that promise he’d made her in the bunker to never lie to her again. Cause he knew full well he was gonna keep her tucked against him all night long. Savoring the beat of her heart against his. For if this is all they got, he was gonna make it count.

Chapter Text

“So your plan is to just walk down there and hope for the best?”

“Yeah, what’s the worst that can happen,” Kate asked, her voice dripping in sarcasm. Didn’t even look up from the broken piece of mirror she had set up for herself on a boulder. Kept her focus on fixing her hair up in a clip, pulling some strands loose around her face. Looked so damn effortlessly put together just to go and get herself killed.

He leaned his hands on the boulder, looming over her little vanity set up. “The worst that happens is you die.”

She paused her primping and flicked her gaze up to him. Looking practically apathetic. The roll of her eyes had him getting hot under the collar, and not in the way he was last night when she’d fucked the life outta him. 

“That is most definitely not the worst that could happen, and it’s also not likely,” she replied blandly as returned to fawning over herself in the mirror. “Leroy isn’t gonna send me all this way for them to just kill me. If it is a trap–”

“It’s a trap.”

She cut him with a glare before pushing off the ground and packing up her makeshift vanity. “ If it's a trap, I’m sure I could get myself out of it.”

He scoffed, “what makes you so sure of that?”

She gave him her back as she collected the rest of her things scattered around the camp. “Haven’t found one yet I haven’t been able to get out of.”

“And I haven’t been eaten by a Yao Guai yet but that don’t mean I’m about to go pet one.”

She had the audacity to look at him like he was the unreasonable one here. “Well that logic is crazy. That’s just dangerous.”

“So is throwing yourself into a damn trap completely fucking blind!”

“You know just as well as I do, Getting caught is part of the game sometimes.”

“Sure, if you have some fucking idea what you’re walking into. All we know is this guy is heavily armed. Walking in with a couple guns ain’t gonna get you far.”

“Well if I get caught I’m guessing he’ll take those.”

“And then what will you do?”

She leveled him a stare, “honestly, Cooper, you’re being ridiculous. I know what I’m doing.”

“Gaslighting me ain’t gonna work. It ain’t worth watching you get yourself killed. I’m not doing this.”

She crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. “Well I am. I need caps. I have to restock before I head north. I’m in desperate need of new clothes–”

“Honey, nearly getting yourself killed so you can get a new outfit is fucking stupid.”

Her face pinched with disdain. “Fuck you Cooper.” 

She pushed past him, but he followed her. She ignored him as she checked her weapons.

“You want new clothes? I’ll buy them for you–”

“Enough,” she snapped, whirling on him. She racked on in the chamber of her shotgun and slung it over her back. “I’m not doing this for a fucking shopping spree. I’m one wrong move away from blowing a hole in the crotch of my pants which are already two sizes too fucking big. And while my pants literally disintegrating on my body midfight may be one hell of a distraction I highly fucking doubt it’ll keep me alive for long. I am going down there and getting this job done myself . I am more than capable of providing whatever the fuck my heart desires and I don’t need a man, who clearly doesn’t know me at all, to placate me with money. Besides, we are running out of time here. You need to get back to finding Janey and as much as I don’t want to, if I don’t start pushing north soon, I am going to be fucked when winter rolls in. I am gonna go down there and get some fucking work done. Feel free to sit up here and shove your misogyny up your ass.”

Without another word, she stomped off towards the the roadway in the distance. Muttering to herself. Before she got very far, she turned to face him. Her cheeks beat red, that rage she’d been pushing back shining bright on her face. “While your at it, I want you to think how fucking lucky you are to still have a tongue after speaking to me like that.”

Seemingly satisfied with the verbal lashing she spun around and continued on her way. Head held high, chest proud. 

All that damn ego was gonna get her killed. 

Who was she to think she ran the show around here? This was the exact reason Cooper preferred working alone. It didn’t matter she’d been warming his bedroll at night. Didn’t matter that they’d nearly died repeatedly together over the last several weeks. Didn’t matter that she’d had his cold dead heart beating once again. This was work and she did not call the shots here.

Cooper had done this shit for far too long for some pretty woman to tell him what to do…anyone actually. No one told him what to do. Didn’t matter how pretty they were…Didn’t matter how wonderful they were. Didn’t matter how smart or strong or resilient they were…

Cooper watched as his smart, strong, resilient…whatever the hell she was to him stomped further and further away from him. Watched as the wonderful woman, who evoked the same desperate need to protect her that his family once had, walked away and right into danger. 

“What am I doing here,” he sighed, wiping a hand over his face. Then he swallowed his pride, threw his pack over his shoulder and took off after her.

Kate crouched beside a burnt out car. Her spine pressed against the charred metal, as she kept her breaths steady and silent. Crumbled pavement trembled on the ground below as the heavy steps of the Deathclaw tracking her scent grew closer. 

The car shook, nearly knocking her down as the deathclaw leaned atop the hood. Every muscle in her body tensed, her internal prey instinct trying desperately to save her, but she knew better. Didn’t matter how skilled she was. If she tried to run with that thing so close, she was most likely going to be a meal. Definitely was going to be disemboweled, which just seemed like a terrible way to go. Her hair clip bit into her skull as she pressed into the car further, trying in vain to become one with the car. 

The deathclaw sniffed the air above her. It’s humid, foul smelling breath huffed down on her, ruffling the pieces of hair hanging before her face, sticking them to her sweaty skin. Panic threatened to outweigh her rational thinking. There was no fucking way it wasn’t going to find her. Maybe she should run... Her muscles tensed as she gave way to fear. Her foot flexed against that ground, preparing to push off. 

Bang.

She froze at the sound of a shotgun blast ringing off in the distance. The car jostled, nearly knocking her to her knees, but her grip on the metal frame kept her upright. Relief washed over her as the Deathclaw took off in Cooper’s direction.

He was likely cursing her out from his vantage point. If he was even there still, which wasn't all that likely at this point since he’d just blown his cover. Which meant, she needed to kick her ass into high gear and find what she was looking for before he blew the plan. The plan he still hadn’t really agreed to, but she didn’t leave him an option. Problem was, she had no idea what she was looking for exactly. All she had was the map that had sent her here, and that random word scribbled on the bottom. Pancakes.  

A small part of her had held out the foolish hope that this was a map to a really exclusive breakfast joint. One where they would serve the head of her bounty on a silver platter next to a stack of fresh pancakes covered in tarberry syrup.

Her stomach growled at the thought. Thank god for Cooper. That certainly would have given her away. Didn’t mean she wasn’t still fuming at him. Actually, he was the reason she hadn’t even eaten this morning.

 Her morning had started off so nice. Curled up in his arms, his skin on hers. It had been so damn stupid leaving herself that vulnerable, but she didn’t really care. It felt too damn good. She cracked open her eyes to find him staring off into space. 

That was about the point shit really started going down hill. While she’d been sleeping, he’d been coming up with all the reasons why they weren’t going to go through with this job. Motherfucker wasn’t even interested in her counter arguments. So she didn’t argue. Didn’t have to. Sure, maybe she wasn’t at her peak physical form after starving for several days, but she could do this. She didn’t really have a choice anyways. She was gonna need a lot of supplies to get herself back to the Commonwealth, and this bounty would be more than enough to get her there.

She kept low as she made her way through the traffic jam of torched vehicles filled until she came upon a locked trailer. 

“Definitely could fit a breakfast joint in this thing,” she mumbled to herself as she picked the lock. It clicked open with a couple pushes of her bobby pin. Her hand closed around the handle. She took a deep breath and held it in as she threw the trailer door up.

“Fuuucckkk,” she breathed out as she took in what stood before her. 

Nope, this wasn’t the breakfast joint of her dreams. Actually, there wasn’t much in the trailer, but at the back was a terminal affixed to the wall. Flanking it were two assaultrons. Powered down, thankfully, but they still had her pulse quickening.

She propped her foot up on the step and leaned her body on the floor of the truck, resting her chin in her hand as she looked over this fucking mess. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the map, looking over what she now realized was likely a password to that terminal. There was no question this was a trap. The real question was, how big of a trap was it? 

“Fuck it.”

She pushed herself off the floor and into the trailer. If she thought about it any longer, she was going to chicken out. Instead she kept her head held high, ignored the nausea roiling in her gut and pretended like she wasn't about to die.

“Walk away Kate,” Cooper begged as he watched her lean on the trailer floor via the scope of a sniper rifle.

After watching her nearly get eaten alive, again, he felt like he was about to throw up. Fuck, he was a nervous wreck. He shoulda stuck to his guns on this one, but he couldn’t have walked away knowing she might’ve been crazy enough to do this shit on her own.

In an attempt to avoid the deathclaw that had been barreling towards him, he had to go wide. Completely lost sight of her. Found a spot to hunker down for a minute and see where she was at. He’d found her just as she’d opened the trailer. She’d instantly hesitated. While he didn’t know what she saw in there he knew it had to be risky if it had her hesitating at all. She’d promised him she’d turn away if it looked too risky. The fact that she hadn’t turned away yet told him everything he needed to know. She was about to do something real fucking dumb, and he couldn’t do shit about it.

If he moved in now, he’d lose sight of her. His eyesight wasn’t anything near what it used to be during the daytime, too damn bright.  And she was too far off for him to track her with the naked eye. 

“Godammit Kate,” he growled as she stepped up into the trailer. 

He held his breath the entire time she was in there. Felt like fucking ages until…

His blood ran cold when she emerged, face bloodied, arms restrained by two assaultrons. Cooper watched in horror long enough to catch the direction they were headed before tearing off after her.

Chapter Text

Kate was shoved down to her knees on the floor of a fancy ass looking vault. Didn’t seem very big from what she could tell. She was currently in what looked to be the main room of the vault. Metal crates were scattered throughout the room. What appeared to be Brotherhood squires were hard at work processing weapons. Some were opening the crates and sorting through the contents, others were packaging weapons up for transport. None of them stopped their work, but they all stared at her.

The knights in the room seemed to be nothing more than “supervisors”. Most of them had been lounging in chairs with their feet kicked back when she’d been dragged in. They’d since abandoned their very important looking work to gather around her. Murmuring their assessments of her to one another as if she wasn’t a living breathing human, but rather a shiny new weapon for them to sell off.

The sound of booted footsteps on metal stairs hushed the crowd around her. Kate looked up to find her target walking towards her. Dressed in the most ornate paladin robes she’d ever seen. Actually, all of them were far better dressed than any BoS she’d seen before. Fancy embroidery, shiny metal detailing, even the tailoring seemed to fit their bodies better. They were..flashy. 

“Paladin Axel on the floor,” a Knight shouted out as he saluted her target, the rest of the room following suit.

Alright, maybe this guy was less “ex” Brotherhood than she’d originally thought…

As he approached her, he carried himself with a type of grace that made it clear this guy thought he was better than everyone else in the room. He stopped before her, the corner of his mouth tipping up as he stared down at her.

“What do we got here?”

Kate scowled at him, her freshly bent nose whistling as she took in a breath. Cooper needed a trail to follow and with her arms restrained by the assaultrons her only option had been to headbutt one. Hurt wicked fucking bad, but it wasn’t her first broken nose, and definitely wasn’t her last.

“She’s…unique,” another knight commented from behind him. 

“She activated Project Pancakes , Paladin Axel,” an assaultron reported.

“Well shit,” he exclaimed. “And to think, I was just about to send a squad out to take care of Ole’ Leroy. Fucker hasn’t sent us shit in months, but you are quite a prize.” He crouched down before her, leaning in close. “How the hell did you make it this far?”

“I like to walk,” she deadpanned.

“Evidently,” he replied, unamused. He leaned back on his heels, elbows resting on his knees. “No reports of you coming in from the North or South, and there ain’t no way you made it a straight shot from the west.”

She couldn’t help but smirk.

“Huh,” he uttered as he stood, keeping his eyes locked on her, but speaking to the others, “now that’s fucking interesting. Arelle, think the Thorn would be interested in her?”

A knight with a pretty sweet side shave stepped forward and gave him a knowing look. “I think they’ll be very interested in this one.”

The goddamn Thorn. An underground fighting arena that used to only pit creatures against one another, until there was a change in management. Guy decided to bring in cage fighting. Really increased foot traffic, but it only made him greedier. Stopped caring where the fighters came from and only that they could fight. In recent years, those fighters seemed less employees at will than they had at first. No one could confirm anything, but the rumor mill was often spot on. Not that it would have really deterred business.

“The Big Apple might want her,” another knight chimed in. 

“Atlantic City would most definitely want in on this,” said another.”

“Sounds like we might have a bit of a bidding war on our hands then. Hope you fight as well as you walk. People are going to pay big money to watch you break.”

A hand wrapped around her elbow. Her shoulders protested as she was yanked up to her feet and dragged from the room. Kate looked over her shoulder, confusion pinching her face as she stared at Arelle. “You’re selling me into cage fighting?”

The corner of her lip tipped up. “Making it here isn’t easy. Anyone who makes it this far can take a hell of a beating. We don’t get women very often, but when we do, we are usually in for a good payday.”

“I can tell you’re a real girl’s girl,” Kate muttered.

“I’m a money girl, and if I get the Thorn to put the highest bid in for you, I’m gonna get a hell of a cut.” 

Kate couldn’t argue with that logic. Respected it even. Didn’t mean she was gonna go quietly.

Arelle opened the door to an old supply closet. When Kate didn’t immediately walk in she shoved her through the door hard enough that she tumbled to the ground. Kate grumbled as she rolled onto her hip.

“Say cheese,” Arelle said cheerfully, holding a polaroid camera up in Kate’s face.

She flipped her off from behind her back as Arelle snapped the picture.

“Way to sell it.” She pulled the Polaroid from the camera, her smile widening as she watched it develop. “Oh yeah, that’s the money shot. Boys,” she shouted as she headed out of the cell. “Hope you’re feeling lucky cause I think we might be headed to New Vegas with this one!”

The door slammed shut and she was plunged into darkness. With nothing but her thoughts to keep her company until she could escape.

She should have listened to Cooper but she was so damn angry at him. All of her worst attributes seemed to have been pulled to the surface after their fight. She was being stubborn, but 20,000 caps was by far the biggest haul she would have ever taken in. Fuck, even 10k was more than she was used to. It felt like a calling card for only the best of the best. It felt like that because that’s exactly what it fucking was. And she’d fallen for it hook, line, and sinker. 

Cooper followed her trail of blood all the way to the mountain range that had been their view for the last few days. Kate was bleeding like a damn sieve. By the time he’d arrived his blood was boiling.

“Permiteter movement detected,” an assaultron alerted from the vault entrance carved into the mountainside.

Oklahoma was a strange fucking place. The land was so damn diverse he’d felt like he’d been to every damn territory in the nation in the span of a month. Seemed like they were currently in the Ozarks.

“Hostile target acquired. Engaging,” the bucket of bolts announced as it stepped out from the cover of the mountain. 

Cooper casually stepped behind a tree as he took out its legs. 

“I am ordering you to stand down,” the assaultron said as it dragged itself across the ground towards him. No matter how many times he’d seen them move like that, it still freaked him out a bit.

“I ain’t interested in getting on your level,” he drawled as he shot off a couple exploding bullets at its head. 

Didn’t give a shit about attracting attention, he was counting on it actually. Drag as many as he could out before going in. He’d been through enough of these vaults to have this shit down to a science. 

As the first assaultron’s body laid charred, sparks shooting out from its exploded body, the cavalry arrived.

It wasn’t long before the explosions started. Her cowboy, who she was still furious at, was really letting them have it. Sounded like an all hands on deck operation out there. Alarms blared, orders were called over intercoms, the heavy metallic footfalls of bots and power armor stormed down the hall. With everyone sufficiently distracted Kate decided it was about time for her to get the fuck outta there. 

She shook her head until the claw clip came loose. Her hair tumbled down her back. The tiny sheathed blade she’d hidden in there landed in her outstretched hand. Keeping her hair long wasn’t just a sentimental choice, it could be pretty damn practical at times. 

Most women would have taken that clip from her. Thankfully Arelle seemed to be sporting that side shave long enough that she forgot the power of big hair. A wise man once said, “the bigger the hair, The bigger the secrets,” and well, she didn’t think anything had ever resonated with her more.

While the blade wasn’t anything impressive, it would get her around. She quickly broke free of the cuffs before feeling her way up and down the wall until she found a vent. A few screws later she was off. 

She crawled her way through the vents until she found the telltale green glow of terminals shining up through a grate. She peered down to the room below to find two scribes watching the fight unfold on some terminals. Cooper’s tiny figure moving across the screen looking damn casual as he threw a fastball with a baseball grenade, simultaneously shooting out machine gun turrets. Her annoyance prickled at how damn good he looked while doing it.

“Oh come on, I just got that assaultron repaired,” a young woman groaned. If Kate had to put money on it, she probably wasn’t even in her 20s yet. Neither was her male counterpart. 

They were practically kids. Barely had experienced life and it was all about to end for them. 

“Fucking braineaters. I can’t wait to see they day they’ve all rotted out of existence,” the other scribe commented, proving why she felt no guilt about cutting their lives short. 

Kate slowly unscrewed the grate and pulled it up into the vent before tucking her blade between her teeth. She carefully swung her legs over the side, keeping her movements tight and controlled as she lowered herself from the vent. Her muscles worked overtime as she unfurled herself until she was hanging from the vent by just her fingertips. 

With one fluid motion her feet hit the floor, her blade was in her hand, and blood was pouring from the young woman’s throat. The other scribe was so caught off guard he was still gawking at Kate as life disappeared from his eyes. 

Explosions rocked the vault. Cooper had amassed a pretty hefty response to his attack. One that he wasn’t going to be able to hold off for long. She watched him disappear from view, finding cover behind a metal shipping container as a pair of assaultrons closed in on him. 

Kate flipped through the control terminal, switching off every damn thing she could. Except the alarms. Those just made her job easier. She watched the screen as the assaultrons heading for Cooper powered down, leaving a sole knight in power armor and a pair of squires all looking around in confusion. 

Bang, bang, bang.

“Keller, Brach, open this fucking door right now. You said those bots were fixed. What the fuck is going on in there,” Arelle shouted as she slammed her fist against the door. When the door didn’t immediately open, she heard Arelle typing away at the terminal outside. “Who changed this fucking password? What the FUCK is going on?”

Kate searched through as many files on the terminals as she could. Endless entries of how big of an operation this was. The information was too important for her to even give a shit about the door sliding open behind her.

“You fucking bitch,” Arelle growled as she stepped through the door. 

“That’s me,” Kate replied blandly as she kept digging through the files. Not at all concerned about the woman stalking towards her.

Arelle grabbed her shoulder, but Kate beat her back with her elbow. Her eyes didn’t stray from the terminal. “You guys are everywhere,” she marveled.

Arelle let out a snarl as she shot forward, wrapping her arm around Kate’s throat and dragging her away from the terminal. “Impressive isn’t it?” 

“More like disturbing,” she strained under the press of Arelle’s arm. 

Kate swung her arm around and sunk her blade into Arelle’s side. She cried out in pain as the blade sank in, but her grip on Kate’s neck didn’t ease. Actually her bicep just pressed against her throat tighter. This chick was fucking strong, and it was wearing Kate down fast. She cursed herself for letting herself get so damn weak as she put all she had into breaking free from Arelle’s hold.

Finally she managed to get her back under Arelle’s chest, using the power in her legs to flip her over her shoulder. Arelle let out a grunt as she slammed down on the control panel. Kate pushed her down, sweat dotting her brow as she struggled to keep the knight pinned down. She twisted the knife in Arelle’s side, literally, causing her legs to buckle with a barely bit back scream.

Kate didn’t have the time or energy to keep this fight up for long. She had just enough left in the tank to pull Arelle back, spin her around and shove her head straight through the terminal with the bot controls.

Kate stumbled back, her breaths ragged as she stared at Arelle’s body slumped over the bloody control panel. Sparks arced around her head where it was lodged in the terminal. 

“Fuck I gotta start working out again” she huffed out breathlessly.

Movement on the screens caught her attention. Cooper seemed to be faring a whole hell of a lot better than Kate. Dropping bodies like bloatflies. If only she’d inherited some of that ghoul endurance herself. 

“Hold the line,” the Knight shouted at the two wide-eyed squires while he ran back to the cover of the vault.

“What’s the matter son? They forget to include a fake set of balls in that tin can get up for yours,” Cooper shouted from behind the shipping container, casually reloading his shotgun and racking a couple rounds. He stepped out, firing off two shots at the squires who returned his fire. Their shots flew wide while his shots rang true. 

He stepped out from behind the container, reloading as he headed for the vault. 

“Where the fuck were you two aiming? The damn clouds,” he quipped as he stepped over their lifeless bodies.

Normally, he’d have dragged their end out a bit. Had some fun with it, but there was no time. If Kate had any cover, she’d just blown it by shutting down those bots for him. 

Cooper followed the Knight as he quickly stomped away. “Now come on, this is awfully unbecoming of you. Thought you metalheads were supposed to be some of the biggest and bravest. Here you are running away like a damn pussycat.”

He aimed his shotgun, finger resting on the trigger.

“I ain’t a pussy,” the Knight shouted as he spun around, just like Cooper anticipated. Dumbass barely even got his gun up before Cooper’s armor piercing bullet slipped right through the weak point in the chest plate. 

The Knight shook before collapsing to his knees and falling forward. Cooper strolled on over, opened up his power armor, and dragged him out. Tossing him back into the dirt. The Knight gaped up at him, blood pouring from his mouth as Cooper dug through his pockets. 

“Well maybe not,” Cooper read the name stitched onto his jumpsuit, “ Jones, but you sure as hell are a stupid son-of-a-bitch. Walked right into that one. You should know better than to leave your chest so open. Even with all the flashy armor.”

Too bad Cooper’s precious words of advice had fallen on deaf ears, the last bit of life spilling out from Jones’ body in a puddle of blood below him. Cooper plucked the vault key from his pocket and headed for the control panel.

They really had no excuse to not know that design flaw. It was really tiny. Needed a steady shot and armor piercing bullets to breach it. Still, it was too damn easy taking them out if you had the skill and the knowhow. Which Cooper had in spades. 

Laser fire escaped the vault as the door clanked open. He stepped over the threshold, taking out the few poor souls they’d left in offering to him. As he made his way down the hall, his suspicions about this place was confirmed. This was the executive vault he was looking for. It was smaller than most residential vaults and had all the amenities. A couple well decorated bunk rooms. A swanky ass kitchen. All of it filled with weapons that had clearly been a part of the business that was being run down here. And not a single sign of Janey, or anyone from Vault-Tec for that matter. 

No matter how hard he tried not to get his hopes up, he still couldn’t help but feel so damn defeated at the realization this was very likely going to be another dead end. With any luck, Kate would have found something he could work with. 

Banging above him, barely audible above the sirens still blaring, stopped him in his tracks. Suddenly the vent grate came flying down in front of him, followed by Kate.

She brushed off her clothes as she straightened, completely ignoring his presence.

“You almost hit me,” he pointed out.

She crossed her arms and looked up at him with a raised brow. “Oops, didn’t mean to miss.”

Yeah, she was still real mad at him. He went to speak but she held her hand up before him.

“Before you say something else fucking stupid,” some of that anger fizzled as she stepped closer to him, “can you fix my nose?”

He let his own attitude fade away to concern as he gripped her face, “why didn’t you just do it yourself? Coulda been feeling better by now.”

“I hate having to do it myself. Besides, I’ve been busy, saving your ass.”

He gave her nose a sharp tug, the bridge crunching as he pulled it straight. Her eyes flared in pain as she ripped her face away and doubled over.

“God fucking dammit that sucks,” she wheezed out.

He dug through his bag for a stimpak as she collected herself. She stood and pinched her nose as she held her arm out to him, letting him stick her. The blood flowing down her face slowed as the chems took hold. The second he pulled the needle from her arm, she yanked it away. Making it clear that her nose may be fixed, but they weren’t. 

“Thank you,” she grumbled as she wiped her nose with her sleeve. 

He folded his arms across his chest. His concerns about this job were valid. Maybe he could have handled it better, but he wasn’t going to just fold on this.

She matched his stance. Stubborn as ever. 

“Go ‘head, can already see you chompin’ at the bit,” she said with a wave of her hand.

“I told you it was a trap.”

She flipped him off before turning and heading off down the hall. “I never said it wasn’t. In fact, I remember saying if it was, I’d get myself out. And here I am.”

“Seems to me like I just saved your ass.”

“Oh! You saved my ass? I don’t recall you being in that closet with me undoing my cuffs. And who do you think shut down those assaultrons you were hiding from?”

“I wasn’t hiding,” he muttered under his breath as he came up beside her.

She either didn’t hear him or didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of engaging him any longer cause she didn’t respond. It was probably for the best at this point. This conversation was going nowhere, fast. 

“Think this is the vault,” she asked as they cleared some side rooms. Some of that bite she’d had in her tone gave way to something more tender.

He nodded, “seems like it.”

“I couldn’t find anything related to Vault-Tec in the control room, but I didn’t have much time. They had a lot of logs related to whatever they’re doing in here now. This operation seems a bit bigger than what we had anticipated. I saw shipment logs going to every corner of the country. Discussion of multiple squadrons involved in this thing. I don’t know how much time we got until reinforcements arrive.” 

“Great,” he sighed as he handed her his revolver, “take this. Better than that fucking piece of shit. And stay close.”

That stopped her. She whirled on him, sticking her finger in his face. “Before we go anywhere, we’re gonna need to get one thing straight here. You don’t give me orders. I am completely capable of keeping myself alive.”

“I ain’t giving you orders it’s just–”

“It's just that you’re scared and it’s showing.”

He stared at her for a moment before pushing past her. “I ain’t scared.”

Suddenly, the door beside them slid open. Laser pistols fired off at them. Cooper grabbed Kate and slammed her down behind a crate, tucking himself in front of her.

“Ouch,” she growled, staring daggers at him as she pulled herself up and took aim. 

When the laser fire died down he looked back to see him giving her a knowing look.

She raised a brow at him, “you were saying?”

He didn’t argue. “I can’t help it.”

“Yes you can. You’re The Ghoul. Pushing your feelings aside is one of your strong suits. Besides, weren’t you the one who was saying how damn scary I was the last time we were in a damn vault? Unless that was a lie.”

“It wasn’t a lie.”

He truly meant it. She could hold her own, but things were different now. They were different now.

“Then remember who the fuck we are. We take what we want, and I want that motherfucker's head.”

He took a deep breath between clenched teeth. “Okay.”

She looked completely unconvinced. “Would it make you feel better if I told you they already showed their hand? Out of everyone here, I’m the least likely to die. They want to sell me.”

“Honey, I hate to break it to you, I haven’t known many skin traders who care about their merchandise's safety all that much.”

“Uh-uh, see unlike you right now, they see my potential. They want to sell me to The Thorn,” her eyes flared with excitement. “They think they can make quite a profit off me. I’m valuable.”

Now that could change things. “They told you this?”

“What can I say,” she replied as she pulled out her sunglasses and put them on Cooper. Using them as a mirror as she fixed her hair. “I just got a face that makes people wanna talk.”

The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Looks like they created a monster.”

She bit back a smile as she dabbed at her lips, using her own blood as rouge. 

“Well, that’s a better response than what I got from you earlier when I was doing this.”

Satisfied with her appearance she pulled her glasses off him. Her gaze snapping to his when she realized he was staring her right in the eyes under those glasses.

“I’m sorry.”

Her brow furrowed, “you’re doing this right now?”

“If you want we can just forget the whole thing.”

“Oh, no, no. Keep going.”

She looked at him expectantly. Of course he wasn’t going to get off easy with this.

“I was outta line. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

She rolled her finger.

“…and I won’t do it again?”

“When’s the last time you apologized to someone?”

“2077.”

Her mouth pulled into a tight line and patted him on the shoulder, “okay, we’re gonna have to work on that for next time, but I accept your apology.” 

She pushed off from behind the crate and put her sunglasses on before heading for the door at the end of the hall. “Let me go in first. Wait until my signal.”

She didn’t give him a chance to argue any further before she stepped up to the door. He reluctantly tucked himself behind the crate a second before it slid open.

Kate strolled out into the middle of the room completely unbothered by the sound of pistols cocking around her. Their target glared down at her from the catwalk above. Clearly annoyed by her presence.

“Lookin’ for me,” she lilted with her hands outstretched over her head, her hip popped. Like she was posing for a damn Nuka-Girl poster. 

Their target leaned over the railing, “didn’t realize I was supposed to be.”

“Axel, buddy, did you really think an old broom closet was going to keep me contained? I don’t think you fully get how big of a prize you have on your hands.” 

Axel glared at Kate, fuming. “Kelven, take her. And I swear to god, you break her, I’ll take your head.”

A power armor clad Knight stomped towards Kate.

“Kelvin,” she said cheerily. Her hands clasped in front of her while she slowly walked backwards. “You know, I have a friend who I think would just love to meet you. Matter of fact,” she stepped aside, leaving Kelvin completely exposed. “Meet The Ghoul.”

Cooper took his cue, stepping out from the doorway and popping off a perfectly aimed round. The room erupted in laser fire as second too late for Kelvin who’s metallic chest dinged like a can full of caps as Cooper’s bullet ricocheted inside.

“Watch your fire,” Axel shouted at the squires as they did nothing to avoid hitting Kate. A laser caught her in the arm, but it didn’t knock her off her course straight for Kelvin. She gave him a wave and kicked him in the chest, sending him falling backwards before jumping into the frey herself.

Cooper, completely confident she was gonna be just fine, let himself fall into the chaos. Taking every bit of anger he kept in his soul out on the brotherhood around him.

“What’s the matter,” Kate cooed at the squire staring at her wide eyed, “I am not that intimidating.”

The squire’s face pinched in determination. He lunged for Kate, but she blew his head clean off. 

She was just toying with them now. Axel had given her the greatest gift, invincibility. What a fucking idiot. 

Cooper’s back hit hers, the laser fire in the room dying down as he took out the last squire standing. “How you doing over here sweetheart?”

“Honestly, this is getting a bit boring.”

The ground shook as hydraulics hissed. From the smoke a jet black knight emerged. Their armour painted far flashier than what the Brotherhood generally went for, but still branded with their sigil. Not a knight, a paladin. Axel. 

“Looks like Axel finally found a set,” she quipped.

He knocked his shoulder against hers. “Go see what you can find on the terminals, I got this. We’re running outta time here.”

She pushed off him and sprinted to the hall. “Give ‘em hell, cowboy!”

Axel didn’t bother going after her. He knew he didn’t stand a chance at getting her as long as Cooper was around. Her stomach clenched as an explosion rocked the hall, but Cooper’s manic laugh eased any fears. He was more than capable of finishing this fight on his own. Still, she couldn’t help but worry.

She ran so damn fast that when she hooked into the control room she skidded into the door frame. Her heart pounded in her chest, sweat dotted her brow. She stumbled over the mess of bodies on the floor and yanked Arelle’s body from the smashed screen, tossing her aside. The fighting had been far less stressful than what she was tasked with now. 

There were a whole lotta files to sift through and who even knew how much time. The storms this area was prone to likely made it difficult to come in via vertibird, but from what Kate had garnered when she was snooping earlier, this place might’ve been worth the risk. These people had their hands in every kind of trade imaginable. If you could make a cap off it, they would exploit it. And their reach…

Dealing with small groups of the Brotherhood wasn’t all that difficult. Definitely more of a hassle than it was worth most of the time. Had to be sure you killed them all before they called reinforcements, but it was doable. They’re strength didn’t come from their power armor, it came from their numbers and blind faith in the cause. That cause had evolved over the years. Whatever this operation was, it didn’t seem like an all that isolated venture. This shit ran deep. 

The Brotherhood was entering a new era. 

Kate flipped through the terminal, trying her best to weed through for any mention of Vault-Tec, but fuck was it hard when she was taking in the gravity of this whole Brotherhood situation. Few things scared Kate these days, this did. She jotted down the brief mentions of Vault-Tec she found. The Brotherhood had taken over some vaults, identified others as possible future bases. All along the northeast. 

Kate’s eyes flicked up to the security feed. Unease gnawed at her as she watched Axel absolutely pommel the crate Cooper hid behind with his heavily modified laser rifle.

Hiss. 

She screamed in pain as a bullet sailed straight through the joint of her shoulder, doubling her over the terminal. Her arm hung like dead weight. She used her good arm to push herself up, turning to find Arelle staggering to her feet. The stimpak she’d given herself slowly doing its job. Too bad for Arelle, Kate could shoot damn well with two hands. She pulled Cooper’s pistol from her waistband and flipped it in the air, just to be a bitch, before she sent several rounds into Arelle’s shooting arm. Practically severing it. She screamed in agony as her arm went limp, her pistol dropped to the floor.

Kate stepped forward, not letting her own pain show. 

“I’ll give it to you, you’re a tough bitch,” she said as she crouched down and picked up Arelle’s pistol. She stood to her full height, looming over Arelle, aiming right between her eyes, “too bad for you, I’m tougher.”

Arelle’s lip curled back as she sneered up at Kate, blood dripping from her mouth, “Fuck–”

Bang

“You,” she finished, tucking Arelle’s pistol into her waistband. She searched her body for a stimpak and jabbed it into her bad arm before turning back to the terminal. “Oh come on.”

A single bullet hole pierced the screen of the now black terminal. The logs were lost.

Kate glanced back over to the screens just as Cooper ripped Axel from the power armor. Alive, but barely. Axel flailed as Cooper slammed him into the ground. She couldn’t hear what he was saying but fuck did Cooper look pissed. Her stomach dropped as he raised his pistol to Axel’s forehead. She shot forward, her hand slamming down on the intercom.

“WAIT.”

“I want nothing more than to filet you like a damn fish for what you tried to do to her, but I’m afraid we don’t got time for that,” Cooper seethed as he brought his pistol up to Axel’s head. The pad of his finger tightened on the trigger. 

“WAIT,” Kate shouted over the intercom. So damn loud her voice bounced off the metal walls. 

Cooper released his finger from the trigger, looking up at the security camera. “Honey, this really ain’t the time to start showing mercy.”

“The terminals were destroyed. We lost the logs. They got other Vaults, but I didn’t get all their locations…”

“How many?”

“A lot.”

Cooper slowly looked back to Axel, a devilish smile stretching across his face, “well now. Looks like I’m gonna get my wish afterall.” 

Kate’s voice cracked over the intercom. “You good with him? I’m gonna try and find our pay.”

His smile widened, “you take your time, I’m gonna make sure our friend is nice and snug for his ride.”

“Jackpot,” Kate said as she came strolling in, her bag jingling with caps. “Shit, looks like you’re having fun.”

“Bit of a knot expert at this point,” he replied, admiring his own handy work. Made sure each knot was tight enough that Axel’s exposed skin was bordering on purple. His face red as he puffed out shallow breaths, his chest too constricted around the rope he’d tied around his chest.

Kate pulled Cooper’s bag off his chest, looking up at him through her lashes, “oh yeah?”

Cooper’s brows raised, “you into that?”

“There was a time where I was very much into that,” she replied as she slung his bag over her shoulder, “think that ship has sailed for me though.”

Given the scars on her wrists he could only imagine why. 

“But,” she continued, “if I ever feel inclined to test that kink out again, I know who to ask.”

“Promise we’ll start slow.” He lifted Axel a couple feet off the ground, letting his body strain against the bindings as he hung there, giving him a shake for good measure, “not like Axel here. We’re skipping right to some advanced shit with him.”

Kate leaned down and gave the man a sweet smile, “I have so many questions for you.”

He only huffed out a groan in response that had Kate’s smile stretching wider. Looking so sweet but so damn unsettling. 

“You ready to head out? I’m gonna load you up and then we should be good to go. You’re carrying the heavy shit.”

“Course I am,” he chuckled. He’d gotten used to being her brahmin. 

Axel let out a noise that sounded like a deflating balloon. As he looked down at the barely breathing bundle, a lightbulb went off in his head. 

“Actually honey, think I got a better idea.”

Chapter Text

Axel may have been a piece of shit but he made a damn good brahmin. Took a hell of a beating under all that weight as Cooper dragged him along. Carried their supplies for miles, over several jagged rocks. Kate, ever the sweetheart, made sure to tend to his wounds with stimpaks just when it looked like he couldn’t go any longer. 

They put as much distance between them and the vault as they could before finding a little shack in the middle of nowhere to question Axel in. They spent hours wringing every last detail they could from him. Locations, details on various operations, and details on what was in that vault before the Brotherhood had moved in. 

Didn’t sound like Janey had ever been there, but the information they garnered gave him several years worth of locations to check and some idea of what they would be dealing with in the east. The Brotherhood had really expanded their reach over here. The east was gonna be tough, but this information was what he needed to avoid the Brotherhood the best he could.

“You got contacts in the Commonwealth,” Kate asked Axel.

She sat in a chair before him, her elbows resting on her knees as she twirled her blade in her hand. She’d been far more involved in the brutality than he’d seen before. Lost more of her restraint since they’d done this to Ricky. Kate had always had a way with words. Had always been real skilled in psychological torture. She was far more violent this time than he’d ever seen her. Had carved him up like a Christmas ham. 

“Yes,” he sobbed. Sweat and blood dripped from his face. “We’ve been trying to infiltrate the Prydwen for years. Finally managed to get a contact on board. Got our first briefing on the area a few weeks back.”

“What’s the Prydwen?”

“An airship, stationed by Boston Airport. Moved in a few years before the Institute fell. We were leading an aggressive recruitment operation out there but it is a tight knit group. They’ve been difficult to crack.”

Surprise flashed across her face. “The Institute fell?”

Axel let his head fall forward, exhaustion taking hold. Cooper wrenched his head back up, his eyes fluttering open to find Kate leaning in close. Her blade tipped on the raw skin of his bare chest. “I want details or I start stripping layers again.”

“No please don’t,” he whined, “I don’t have too many details. Some vaultie managed to infiltrate it. Fucking Minutemen helped her. Ended up losing her shit in there. Something to do with her kid. Turned on the Minutemen, so they blew the place sky high, with her in it.”

“Shit,” Kate breathed out in disbelief. “Know anything about the settlements?”

“I was hoping we’d get a partnership going with Goodneighbor but their mayor thinks he’s some revolutionary war hero. Leading some charge to expand his territory. Calls himself a “man of the people”. Giving the brotherhood a hell of a time. Enemy number 1 with us currently.”

“Vic?”

“Never heard of him. Guy goes by the name Hancock. A fucking ghoul. Whole place is going to hell–”

Blood and spit sprayed the wall as her fist connected with his cheek. He slumped but she gripped his shoulders and slammed him against the chairback. Cooper’s body kept his chair from tipping backwards. 

She leaned in his face, forcing him to look at her. “What about the other settlements?”

“Fuck, there’s a lot. I don’t know them all off the top–” he let out a shrill cry as her blade slid between the layers of his flesh. “I can’t think with you doing that!”

She pulled her blade back, pointing it in his face. “I’m gonna rattle off some names, you’re gonna give me details.”

He nodded weakly.

“Kingsport?”

“Never heard of it.”

“The slog?”

“Fucking zombieland? The place with tarberries and a bunch of kids running around?”

Her face pinched in confusion. “Just tarberries.”

He shook his head. “There’s kids there too. Some fucked up daycare there or something.”

She looked up at Cooper, puzzled. Not like he had a clue what either of them were talking about.

“Diamond City?”

“Jewel of the Commonwealth. Had some shakeup a few years back. Their mayor was a fucking synth.”

Her eyes went wide. “What did they do to him?”

“Vaultie killed him. Got some rich fuckers running the place now.”

She sat back in her chair, her hand covering her mouth, “holy shit.”

Holy shit was right. Cooper could only imagine what was going through her head right now. She sat there for a few minutes, lost in thought before continuing on. She went through several more settlements, all known to Axel in some way. He even told her of a few she hadn’t heard of. One on the western border, Sanctuary, near a vault that Cooper added to the map. Another, a minutemen settlement in an old castle.

By the time they’d gone through everything, half of Axel’s chest was degloved. Blood pooled in his lap. His remaining skin was so pale he already looked like a corpse.

“You sure you haven’t heard of Kingsport?”

“I swear,” he replied, barely audible.

Her mouth tugged into a straight line as she stared at the floor. Her wheels turning.

She looked back up at him with narrow eyes. “What about a lighthouse?”

He coughed, spitting up blood onto himself. “Oh, that fucking place.” She let out a barely noticeable sigh of relief. “Bunch of nut jobs worship the damn thing. Children of Atom.”

Anguish, unlike anything he’d ever seen before on her washed across her face. She lunged for him. Her hands bit into his shoulders as she shook him. “What do you fucking mean?”

Axel’s head fell back, his eyes rolling in his head. 

She looked up to Cooper with desperation in her eyes. “Give him another stimpak!”

“We’re out,” Cooper said softly. 

Tears welled in her eyes as she shook her head in disbelief. “No, I need more time with him.”

She shook him harder, but he didn’t wake. She tipped her blade to his chest, directly over the exposed muscle. “Get the fuck up,” she yelled as she dragged her blade down, but he didn’t move. She let out a grunt in frustration before stepping back.

She paced back and forth, her teeth clenched, shoulders tense. A tear streaked down her cheek, but she sucked in a sharp breath, chasing away anymore that threatened to fall. Back and forth she went, casting glances at Axel’s limp body. Picking away at the skin around her nail. Without warning she shot towards Axel, punching him square in the jaw before descending into a fit of anguish. Her fists pommeling the dead man’s body.

“I need to know more!”

“Don’t do this to me!”

“They can’t be gone!”

Cooper held his corpse there as she took out her pain on him knowing full well her cries would haunt him for years to come. When there was nothing left of the man’s chest but a bloody mess, Cooper dragged her off of him.

“Let me go,” she screamed as she bucked in his hold. 

“Kate, you’re only hurting yourself.” 

Her fists were split and bloody. He’d definitely heard one of her bones break.

“I don’t care!”

“I know.”

Physical pain didn’t hold a candle to the intensity of grief like this. Cooper knew it all too well. `

Cooper wrapped his arms around her and carried her out of the shack. She fought him the whole damn way. When they were under the stars he set her down and let her go.

She pushed off him, and squatted down, holding her head in her hands. “Fuck!”

Cooper crouched before her, watching her as she took shallow breaths, tears streaming down her face. Her wide eyes flicked up to him he stared up at him, glistening with tears. “Kingsport fell.”

He held her shoulders, “you don’t know that. They could have moved somewhere safer.”

She shook her head, “no, they would have fought. They wouldn’t have let that place go. Tommy wouldn’t…Rory…Uncle Phil–” 

Her own sobs cut her thoughts short. She collapsed against him, gripping his jacket and burying her face in his chest.. “They can’t all be gone.”

Cooper held her tight. He knew there wasn't a damn thing he could say to make this any better. She was in a cycle that was bound to keep repeating. One that would have her burying that pain for the sake of survival until something happened that brought it right back to the surface. Over and over and over again. It was the same cycle Cooper had been in since the bombs fell. A cycle that could only be broken by one thing: the truth.

And she was the only one who could uncover it.

Chapter Text

Settlers brushed past her as Kate made her way through the busy market square. Merchants called out, trying to hawk their wares. Steam poured from a food stand, carrying a savory aroma that attracted the attention of a few hungry customers. A child pushed her way through the crowd, giggling, another hot on her heels. The pair ran smack dab into settlement security who quickly reprimanded them before sending them on their way. Neighbors chatted in the streets, finding a brief escape from their troubles in a pleasant conversation.

Place reminded her so much of DC. Wasn’t quite as big, but there was a sense of community here that DC had. At least at one point it did. It was part of the reason John and Jimmy had moved there to begin with. Neither of them would have ever fit into a place like Kingsport. Too uppity there for them. Fuck, it was too uppity there for Kate. Why she liked her life on the road better.

The lower levels of DC, where the brothers once lived, were Kate’s personal favorite. People down there didn’t take things too seriously. Didn’t take themselves all that seriously. John and Jimmy were the definition of unserious, so they fit in great at first. Until Jimmy got weird.

How the fuck didn’t she see it? How didn’t any of them? 

Finding out Jimmy had been a synth was that missing puzzle piece she needed to make sense of so many damn things. Those changes in Jimmy that lead him on to become the tyrannical Mayor McDonough, she’d let them taint her view of him. Jimmy may have been a loser, but he wasn’t a bad guy. He did not deserve what the Institute did to him, and he certainly did not deserve Kate’s disdain. Neither did John. 

That entire last month, all she did was go on and on about how much she hated Mayor McDonough. There had been a part of her screaming at herself to not talk about it around John, but she’d let her anger get the best of her. She’d go on these tangents that John would always end up zoning out during. No wonder John would jump her the second they saw each other. It was probably the only way he could stand to be around her. With her mouth screaming his name rather than bashing his brother. If she could take it all back, she would.

Finding out what happened to Jimmy must have killed him. Was he alone when he found out? If Tommy and Rory had survived, they would have been there for him. But if they were alive, there’s no fucking way they would have let the Children of Atom move in to Kingsport. She couldn’t imagine anyone from Kingsport would have stood by and let that happen. Unless there was no one left at all.

Kate had always known there was a chance no one survived, but she couldn’t ever let herself believe it. It was too extreme. Someone had to have made it.

Right?

She’d all but accepted the fact that she would be walking back to nothing. Her only glimmer of hope was that John had avoided harm when he’d stormed out that night, but what if he’d gone back?

Kate knew full well she would have been out looking for him the next morning. She would have found him, apologized for being such a piece of shit, and would have begged for forgiveness. And she felt like he would have done the same. What if he‘d gone back for her, got caught up in the siege? What if he didn’t make it?

What if everyone she loved back in the Commonwealth were dead?

She took a deep breath. This was the spiral she kept going down. After 10 years, she would have thought she’d be past this, but the information Axel had given them had changed things. It felt like just yesterday she’d been dragged out here and she had this newly restored desperation to go back and find out the truth of it all. That desperation was what was going to get her home. 

“Back for more,” Henrietta, the clothing shop owner, asked from behind the counter as Kate stepped through the doorway.

She'd been spending a lot of time here over the last few weeks. After a few days sulking in their bed at the inn, she forced herself to go do something. The thought had crossed her mind that eating lead didn’t sound all that terrible and it scared the shit out of her. That was not a place she was headed again. Had already come way too close before Cooper found her staring at that rickety bounty board. In an effort to bring some normalcy back into her life, she’d stopped here for some retail therapy, but then she turned into Henrietta’s living doll. 

That woman spent hours giving her different outfits to try on. Kate was pretty sure Henrietta was getting more out of it than Kate was, but it was distracting her. She’d bought a few pieces, but most of what Henrietta had put her in felt like she was playing a character. She’d been playing a character for 10 years. All she wanted was something that made her feel like herself. 

“Heading out soon,” she said as she flipped through a rack of clothing. “Just getting some last minute shopping in. You still got that piece I was looking at?”

“I do, but I’m not budging on the price. A piece that intact is hard to come by.”

Kate rolled her eyes as she pulled some clothes to try on, “I’ll pay.”

“Good choice,” she said with a knowing smile, “I think he’ll be very happy.”

Kate gave her a knowing look of her own. “I’m counting on it.”

After several trips to the rack and plenty of hemming and hawing, Kate finally found something that might work. She studied her reflection in the mirror. Adjusting the green bomber jacket she’d put over the long sleeve grey shirt. Reminded her of the henley that Rory, and every woman in the Commonwealth, had loved so much. It was a touch big, but she’d fill it out soon enough.

When she hadn’t been with Henrietta, she’d been working out. Walking alone didn’t cut it for her. Gave her a killer ass, but she needed to be stronger. Arelle had given her a run for her money, and that wasn’t gonna fly when she was on her own. So she decided to get back into lifting. It was something she’d done for years as a part of her daily routine, but that was one of the things she’d let go of when her mood tanked. With the lifting came a lot more eating. Cooper seemed happy about that, and the yoga. He really liked when she did yoga. She did too, it grounded her. 

She turned in the mirror, her eyes trailing down the leather pants she’d found. They went well with the lace up boots she’d bought a few days back. Ones she could crush a skull or two with if needed. 

“What do you think,” she asked Henrietta with her hands on her hips.

She leaned over the counter with an unimpressed look on her face, “You look like someone I wouldn’t want to run into in a dark alley.”

The familiar sound of spurs clicking up the steps had her heart fluttering. Her gaze shifted over her shoulder in the mirror to find Cooper walking through the door.

“Now, I’d love nothing more than to run into you in a dark alley,” he drawled, a lopsided grin on his face.

She gave him a coy smile before returning to critiquing her outfit.

Her lips pursed, “It’s missing something.”

She headed over to a shelf filled with accessories trying to find whatever her outfit was missing.

Cooper took up leaning on the counter, watching her as she moved around the store.

“What about you Sheriff,” Henrietta asked. “Need any last minute items before you two take off?”

Kate returned to the mirror and tucked a black baseball cap on her head. Her eyes shifted to Cooper’s over her shoulder.

A line formed between his brow, “we’re heading out?”

Kate nodded, her heart heavy, “tomorrow morning. First light.”

He gave her a tightlipped smile, “then we better make the most of today.”

She put on the sunglasses as the tears that burned the back of her eyes welled in her waterline. “I like the sound of that.”

Henrietta brought over a blue button up and held it up to Cooper. “What do you think? It looks close enough to whatever is hiding under all that grime.”

Cooper gave her a polite grin. “No thanks. This is vintage.”

Her brows lifted. “Suit yourself.”

Cooper pushed off the counter and stepped up behind Kate as she evaluated her outfit. His hands rested on her hips.

“Looks like you,” he said with a bittersweet smile. 

She sighed. It did. For the first time, in a long time, she recognized the woman staring back at her in the mirror. 

“Add it to my bill Henrietta.” 

After Kate finished her errands, Cooper lured her out of the settlement with a bottle of whiskey and the promise of a quiet spot to talk. There was so much to get out of the way before they left. Most of what they needed to discuss were things they’d rather not have anyone eavesdropping on. 

They’d been doing their best to lay low for the past few weeks. They were carrying a lot of caps and even more secrets. Two things they didn’t need anyone else catching wind of. Cooper spent most of his time out scouting the area. Mapping out his next move. Had only spent a few nights with her at the Inn. 

It was for the best, the critical stares were not something they could afford at the moment, but she still hated it. This place allowed ghouls, but people were on edge around him. They had permitted him entrance but only after he’d paid his way in. Out of everything they should have been concerned about with him, the fact that he was a ghoul was not one of them, but that was all they saw. 

Still, it was good for them to have some time apart. When she had him around, it was so easy to ignore her troubles. She couldn’t do that anymore, and she had to figure out how to deal with them on her own. Being alone was difficult though. It was a shock to her system after being with him almost constantly for the last few months. Not even during her time in the Commonwealth had she had someone around as much as Cooper had been. She liked life better with him around, and learning to tolerate it without him was going to be a challenge in itself. The routine she had established for herself was helping though.

Still, these stolen moments away from it all seemed to feed her soul more than anything. Cooper’s presence was the only thing strong enough to quiet the chaos that ran through her mind. Far stronger than any coping strategy she’d tried.

“Ladies first,” he said as he held back a large, lush branch. 

She stepped under the canopy of thick brush covering the billboard, the leaves blotting out the heat of the early summer sun. It wasn’t nearly as oppressive as the heat out west, but it was still pretty hot out. The shade was a nice reprieve. She sat, letting her legs dangle over the edge looking out into the forest that had taken over the roadway. Cooper sat beside her, his thigh pressed against hers, an arm behind her back.

It was peaceful out here. They sat there, taking it in as they passed the whiskey bottle back and forth. The rustling of the leaves in the breeze harmonized perfectly with the soft melodies of the birds. The occasional ring of gunfire or the roar of something terrible wasn’t even enough to ruin the tranquility.  

Eventually, Cooper tapped her shoulder, pulling her from the near trance she found herself in and pointed to the billboard behind them. Spray painted there was a circle with a series of intersecting lines. Some symbol she’d never seen before.

“What’s that?”

“Figure if we are gonna find each other again, it might be helpful to use a sign. Leave a trail only you and I can decipher. It's our initials, overlapping.”

Her breath hitched. 

About a week back she’d told him she didn’t want this to be the end of the road for them. She offered to help him find Janey, keep her safe when that day came. But she had to find closure first, get her head right. She dropped that on him just before he was heading out for a few days then promptly pushed him out the door. It was a lot to think about and she needed him to take the time to fully consider.

“So, you want more,” she asked hesitantly. 

“Of course I do.” He looked off into the distance. “I need you to understand some things first.”

“Stipulations, lovely,” she murmured as she brought the bottle to her lips. 

“I wish this could be easier,” he sighed, taking the bottle from her and taking a long swig. A tense silence filled the air.

It felt like ages before he finally spoke again.

“I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you,” he said, softening a bit as he looked back up at her. “Ain’t just the sex or our companionship. It’s more than that. Feels like there is a tether between us that keeps pulling me towards you. Like we’re connected.” He huffed out bitter laugh,  “if I had met you in a happier time, fuck, there is no doubt in my mind I’d want it all with you, but we don’t get that.”

That bitterness that made its way into his voice had nothing to do with her. It was all the fucked up circumstances that made this conversation so damn difficult. 

“It’s not fair,” she said as she stared off into the distance, her heart breaking at everything this place had stolen from them. 

“No, it ain’t.” He placed his hand on her thigh. She looked up to find despair in his eyes. “You keep running with me, you’re gonna have a whole lotta problems that you don’t need or deserve in your life. If Vault-Tec figures out that you’re different, and I can guarantee you they will eventually, they are gonna wanna exploit that. You stay with me, you’re gonna be running head first into what you’ve been running from your whole life.”

Her lips pulled into a tight line. She shrugged. “I don’t care.”

He looked at her like she was fucking crazy. “Do you get what they could do to you?”

“Yeah, I do,” she replied matter of factly. “Do you get how it feels to never have a future to look forward to?”

He just stared, completely lost.

She took a deep breath. “When you were a kid, did you have dreams of what you wanted for your life when you grew up?”

“Sure. Plenty of ‘em. Astronaut, fireman, soldier. Even wanted to be a trashman for a bit there.”

“That’s really nice. Do you know what kids these days dream of being when they grow up?”

“I don’t know, a tato farmer?”

She let out a bitter laugh, “Alive. Not me though.”

Anger bubbled up inside her, not at him, but at the world. For that little girl who never got to dream. Tears burned the backs of her eyes. “I didn’t get to dream because I was never going to be anything but a distant memory to those I knew, while they lived real lives. Even if those lives would be cut short, they had a fucking chance. Maybe their futures wouldn’t be glamorous, but they could have friends, a family, love.”

She picked at the skin around her finger. This wasn’t something she’d ever been able to share with anyone, the flood of emotions that came with these memories was overwhelming.  

“Growing up, I wasn’t playing house with the other girls, I was out shooting squirrels. Not cause I wanted to, but because I had to. I had to be a damn good shot.  I wasn’t gonna be a mom, have a husband. Fuck, I wasn’t even gonna have a friend. I was always going to be alone and I had to be able to protect myself.” She wiped away the tears before they spilled over her waterline, swallowing thickly before continuing. “Then I grew up, and I had a taste of those things I should have never had. I had friends and they were some of the greatest people this world has ever seen. I fell in love, something that few people out here truly get to experience. And what did I do with it all? I chased it away. I robbed myself from enjoying that out of fear. I refuse to do that to myself, or anyone else again. The only thing I’m afraid of is wasting the time I have with those I love. You’re one of those people Cooper. I want you in my life as long and as often as I can. Even if it isn’t very long at all.”

“And you want a life with John too?”

She cringed. “I know this isn’t fair, but if he still wants to be in my life, I want him there. Never trying to find him feels just as terrible as the idea of never coming back to you.”

He sighed, “the idea of you having someone to be there for you when I can’t be…it helps. I know you can handle yourself but I don’t want you to be lonely. But, I can’t promise I’ll be okay with bringing him around Janey.”

“I know.”

She could never ask him to be okay with John being around Janey. All she could was hope everything would work out.

He nodded to himself, seemingly considering it all. After a few minutes, he cleared his throat and took her hand. His eyes meeting hers once more, a warmth to them that eased the tension in her shoulders. A soft smile tugged at his lips.

“When I’m with you, I feel like Cooper Howard for the first time in a long time. Well before the world went to shit. I can’t explain it but you feel like a piece of me. I love you Kate. I don’t care if I have to share you. I just want to be able to love you.”

She smiled so damn wide her cheeks hurt. “I love you Cooper Howard. Forever and always.”

His smile widened as he leaned in and kissed her. She reached up, wrapping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in close. 

Before they could topple off the billboard, he was sliding her back and pushing her down onto her back. She giggled into his kiss, “are you gonna fuck me right here?”

“Honey, I ain’t fucking you anymore,” he said between kisses, “I’m making love to you. Here, back at the inn. If I’m being honest I’m gonna drag you into that little shack along the road cause I don’t think I have enough restraint to go that long without showing you exactly how much I love you.”

Chapter Text

Smoke curled around Cooper’s hand as he lounged in the bed, patiently waiting for Kate to emerge from the bathroom and show him his gift. With nothing but a sheet draped over him, his throbbing cock tenting the sheet. Alright, maybe not so patiently. He’d been true to his word. Had taken her up on that billboard, in that little shack, and then just cause he couldn’t wait any longer he dragged her behind a tree just outside the settlement. Slipped his hand in her pants and had her riding his hand until she fell apart. 

God, she made him feel young again. By the time the bombs dropped he was already feeling the effects of middle age. He’d been feeling his age for years, but the divorce had kicked the last bit of his libido down the gutter. Felt like a damn teenager with all these urges. He was fucking insatiable. Even when he was young, he wasn’t able to go this much. Being a ghoul had some upsides, and he had every intention of using that to his benefit today.

They’d made it back to the settlement with plenty of light left in the day. Could have spent some time in the bar, but neither of them had any desire to be anywhere else but this room. His eyes flicked to the thick curtains where the late afternoon sun slipped through the gap between the panels. The dust that floated through the air glittered in its ray. Candles flickered around the room. The radio played softly in the corner, drowning out the sounds of the world still awake around them. 

Silently he begged the sun to stay right where it was. They promised each other they weren’t gonna think about tomorrow, but he couldn’t help it. Tomorrow their world would change.

So as much as he wanted to make love to her all night long, he was gonna have to let her rest eventually. This was likely to be the last night she could sleep well for a while and he could tell she hadn’t been sleeping much when he was away. Everytime he came back to her she had bags under her eyes. Before he’d leave the next day, they were gone. 

He understood why she was having a hard time, even for him it had been odd being alone after spending everyday with her. Going from having someone watch his back for two months straight to being completely alone had him on edge. It wasn’t that he was afraid, it was more of an acknowledgment that the risk was greater without her.

She’d seemed to acknowledge that risk as well. In the short amount of time they’d been there, she’d put on weight. Had clearly been working out. Must have been muscle memory cause he could see the subtle definition coming back to her arms already. It was comforting knowing how determined she was to not only survive, but thrive.

He took a drag of his cigarette just as the door to the bathroom creaked open. The smoke was sucked from his lungs as he was left in awe of her. The smoke curled around her silhouette as she leaned against the doorframe wearing a little red lace body suit that fit her like a glove. A sheer red robe hung off her elbows. Her hair clipped back in an effortlessly messy bun. 

“What do you think,” she asked as she turned to the side and leaned her back against the door, giving him a peek at what the back was hiding. Which wasn’t much. The hips were cut high, nearly to her hip bone, and left most of her ass exposed. 

His cock twitched.

“Cooper?”

“I’m sorry honey, I’m just finding it hard to think about anything but sinking my teeth into your ass right now.”

A coy smile tugged at her lips as she pushed off the frame. The sheer robe fluttered in her wake, caressing her thighs with each step she took. He tossed the sheet aside and swung his legs over the side of the bed to sit, holding a hand out for her. She laid her fingers gently in his palm, letting him admire her up close.

He let out a low whistle as his eyes pursued her body. “Give me a little spin.”

She crossed her legs daintily and slowly spun herself around and leaned over ever so slightly, giving him a sultry look over her shoulder as he drank her in. He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth. “Absolutely breathtaking honey.”

“Thank you,” she said sweetly as she spun back around to step between his legs. 

His hands slid under the robe, slowly making their way up to her hips.

“Look at you,” she purred as she rested her arms on his shoulders, her thigh gently brushing against his aching cock. “All ready for me and I didn’t even have to work hard.”

His gaze was transfixed on his hands as they slowly slid up her sides. His rough palms scraped against the delicate lace that adorned her skin. “You’ve been workin’ plenty hard, been runnin’ through my mind all day.” 

“Just today,” she asked with a pout.

“Every damn day of my life.” He cupped her tits in his hands, pushing them together, deepening her cleavage. He leaned forward and kissed the exposed flesh while his thumbs teased her nipples into stiff peaks through the lace. “I ever tell you about my fantasy of you in red?”

“No,” she sighed as he kissed his way over the bodice. Her sigh turned to a gasp when he nipped at the stiff peak. 

Before he could get too carried away with her he pulled back to find her watching him with a lidded gaze. The tops of her cheeks stained pink. The flicker of candlelight reflecting in the dark storms of her eyes. So fucking pretty.

“I got this image of you on my arm at some swanky party wearing a red dress. Tops cut pretty damn similar to this. Clings to your curves so tight that I’m jealous of the fabric.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her chest, then her collar bone. 

She gripped his shoulders as his hands slid back down to her hips. 

“Tight to right about here,” he gave the top of her ass a squeeze before his hands dropped lower. “Flowy to the floor, but there’d be a long slit here,” he said as he dragged his finger up her thigh, all the way to the peak, grazing the edge of the lace.

Her head fell back on a shaky breath.

His other hand slid up her body to encircle her throat, her pulse fluttering below his hold. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to her collarbone, “I’d buy you a brand new diamond necklace for the event.”

His gaze flicked up to find her eyes closed with a softness to her face that said she was lost in the vision he was painting for her. The corner of his lip tipped up as he tilted her head to the side, “and a set of matching earrings.” 

Her breath hitched as he nipped at her earlobe. 

His fingers drifted to her center. Her nails bit into his flesh. He dragged his finger along the fabric damp with her arousal. She tried to press herself closer, but his hand on her throat kept her where she was.

“Cooper,” she said on a frustrated sigh, her hips softly rolling as he applied pressure over her clit, “I want you so badly.”

“I’m not done telling you about my fantasy yet,” he murmured, his lips grazing the line of her jaw. 

He released his hold on her throat and slid his hand down her arm, trailing his movements with gentle kisses. His hand wrapped around her wrist. Slowly he brought it to his mouth, “I’d have to get you a matching bracelet too.” He kissed over her pulsepoint, feeling it skip beneath his lips. He released her wrist, sliding his fingers along her palm until he reached her fingers, taking them between his.

“All that jewelry would have paired beautifully with the rock I’d put on your finger,” he punctuated his words with a kiss to her ring finger before making his way back up her arm with a bit more fervor than his descent. Even he was starting to grow impatient.

“Anything else,” she asked breathlessly as his teeth sank into her shoulder.

“Of course,” he murmured as wrapped his arms around her waist, his hands gripping her ass as he pulled her to his chest. He took her face in his hand and brought her in for a kiss filled with need before reaching up to free her hair from the clip, tossing it aside as her curls fell to her shoulders.

“You’d need some shoes,” he murmured against her skin.

She gasped in surprise as he lifted her off the floor. In one fluid motion he flipped her onto the bed, her leg resting on his shoulder, his hips pinning her there. Her eyes were wide with thrill, cheeks burning red, a pretty part to those supple lips. Loose strands of hair scattered around her. The bodice of the lingerie gave her ample cleavage, the red pairing beautifully with her flushed chest. 

He wrapped his hand around her ankle, “I’m thinking black stilettos…” He pressed a kiss to the inner aspect of her ankle as his other hand drifted over her inner thigh. “Strappy. Little diamonds on the buckles to tie it all together.”

She looked up to him with lust filled eyes, her teeth sinking into her lower lip, “I’d keep them on while you fucked me when we got hom.”

“Oh honey, I wouldn’t wait til we got home to fuck you,” he said with a low chuckle. His hand slid over the damp fabric covering her pussy. “That’s why we’d need a chauffeur.” 

Her eyes fluttered shut as he slipped his fingers below the fabric. “You have me so worked up right now,” she groaned as she bucked against him.

He slid two fingers inside her, “I can tell. You are soaked.”

He watched his fingers slide in and out of her, glimmering in the candlelight. Her hips rolled into him. Her clit kissed his palm with each thrust of his fingers. The site alone had a coil tightening low inside him.

“I just can’t pass this view, but I think your tits deserve some attention. Play with ‘em for me.”

“Yes sir,” she groaned, all sultry, clearly eager to please him. 

Slowly, she ran the tips of her fingers up her sides, letting them trail across her tits before she cupped them in her hands, flicking her nipples with her thumbs. With a shaky breath she rolled her nipples between her fingers, her back arching as he fucked her with his fingers. The sounds of her growing arousal 

“Good girl.” He rewarded her with a kiss to her ankle and a thumb to her clit. “Pull down the top.”

She tugged down the top until her tits popped free, puffing out tiny breaths as she got closer to the heavens.

He was so fucking turned on by her. His cock practically begged to be inside her. Seemingly sensing his desperation, she reached down and took his cock into her hand. His hips bucked, sliding himself further into her hold.

They worked together, synchronizing their movements until they were both reaching the cliffs edge. Their moans filling the room, and likely the hall at this point. Neither of them gave a damn who might be listening. Both of them lost in pleasure. Wasn’t long before she was soaking his hand, her cries taking him with her over the edge, releasing onto her bare thigh, just missing her lingerie. 

She looked up at him, then back down to the mess he made of her. Slowly she ran her finger over her thigh, swirling it through his cum and gathering it onto her fingers. With a fire in her eyes she brought them to her mouth and sucked them clean. 

Instantly he was hard again. “Flip over.”

Eagerly she flipped onto her knees while Cooper stood at the edge of the bed, fisting his cock, not so patiently waiting for her to get into position. Never had she found herself trying to keep up with a man, but here she was still twitching and shaky from her orgasm with her couple hundred year old lover rearing to go.

It was quite an experience. 

“Goddamnit honey, that ass of yours is fucking perfect,” he drawled. She yelped as his hand cracked across her ass. The sting was tantalizing. “One of these days, I’m gonna have that ass, but I think we’re gonna have to work our way up to that.”

She looked over her shoulder with a mix of excitement and shock. “Cooper Howard you are so fucking dirty.”

He gave her a smug grin, fully owning it. The man had always shown hints of this side. Ordering her around, fucking her hard and fast, but now, it was like any restraint he’d had before was gone. He stepped in closer and pulled her lingerie to the side. “I can’t wait to play all my fantasies out with you.”

A sharp breathy gasp escaped her as he shoved himself inside her, driving all the way to the hilt before pulling out and plunging back in again.

“You let me know if I get too rough. I’m am so fucking hot for you right now I might lose myself a bit,” he growled as he slammed into her, not bothering to take it slow with her.

She tried to respond, but he was fucking her so damn good she just let out a garbled sound of understanding.

“Three taps to the thigh and I stop.”

Oh yeah, she was in for a good fucking time.

His hands gripped her ass, squeezing her so damn tight it was verging on painful. Hovering in the sweet spot where pain equaled pleasure. Rolling her back onto him as he pushed into her. Her hands fisted into the sheets, pressing her face into the mattress as throaty moans tumbled from her. Silently praying his finger tips would be bruised into her flesh for days to come.

Another crack over her ass had her pulling away instinctively, but he reached over and pulled her arms behind her back, gripping both her forearms in one hand before pulling her back. The strain on her shoulders forced her abs to take on some of the work to hold her up as he drove into her. Her tits slammed against her chest with every thrust. 

“Cooper, yes!”

He wrapped his other hand around her throat and pulled her up, her back flush against his chest, her arms pinned between them. Barely bitten back cries fell from her as his lips caressed her neck, a tenderness there in complete contrast with what he was doing to her body. 

It was like he was consumed with primal desire. Lost to everything but chasing his pleasure, using her to get himself there. There was this part of her that wanted to be used, to be dominated, but she could only trust those desires to someone who truly cared for her. The thing about Cooper was, it didn’t matter how lost he got in it, she knew he’d never take what she allowed him to do for granted, and that’s why she’d give him whatever he desired.

Heat rose inside her, her back bowed the closer she got to the precipice of another orgasm. Each thrust of Cooper’s hips into hers, each slap of skin, each moan and groan shoved her closer and closer. 

He tilted her chin, bringing her mouth to his for a scorching kiss. Her lips barely able to keep up as the pleasure became too intense. When his other hand came up to toy with her breast, her mind short circuited. 

The orgasm hit her so hard and fast, she found herself barely holding back her scream. 

“That’s it honey, let ‘em hear how good I make love to you,” he murmured into her ear, still rolling her nipple between his fingers as his hips slowed their pace. 

She slipped an arm free from between their bodies and reached up, resting her hand resting his cheek and pulling him back in for a kiss. This time far more tender than the one he’d given her in the heat of passion. His hold on her throat loosened, his movements less dominating and more tender. 

“I love you,” she said breathlessly, still firmly in the grasp of her orgasm, the slow roll of his hips keeping her floating in waves of pleasure. 

“I love you too,” he replied. Her heart swelled at the raw emotion in his voice. 

Slowly he lowered her back down to the bed.

Her cheek pressed into the soft mattress, the sheets cool against her burning skin. Exhaustion weighed heavy on her limbs, but the prolonged pleasure had her wishing he’d stay buried inside her for eternity. 

His rough hands smoothed over her ass. His once aggressive touch, now a comforting caress. The care he took with her told her everything and more about just how much he loved her.

That gave her the energy to push back into his thrust, making love to him as he made love to her. Another push of her hips pulled a sharp breath from him. Another had him groaning low and guttural as his own thrusts slowed, letting her take over. 

She turned enough to look behind her, still too tired to lift her head off the mattress.

His lidded gaze met hers, “you’re so fucking good to me honey.”

“I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”

Watching him get closer gave her the strength to keep going, despite her muscles begging for mercy. His mouth popped open as his eyes took in the sight of himself disappearing inside her. A roll of her hips had his head rolling back, his groans growing louder. His hips rocked into her gently, meeting her tender thrust for tender thrust. Pressure built low inside her, another orgasm blooming to life. 

She reached back, lacing her fingers between his. “Come with me, Cooper.”

His eyes flicked back to hers, his fingers tightened around hers as he pushed into her, hard and deep, bringing her there. Her orgasm was gentler than the last, felt like floating on a cloud rather than diving off a cliff. Felt like love. 

Wasn’t long until he was floating there with her, his hands gripping her hips, holding her flush against him as he jerked inside her. Bliss painted across his face as he spilled inside her.

With a grunt he pulled from her and collapsed beside her, his limbs limp, his breaths heavy. She curled herself up into the crook of his arm, melting into his warmth as they came down together. 

After a few minutes of floating in and out of consciousness she cracked open her eyes to find him gazing at her.

“What are you staring at?”

He reached over and cradled her face in his hand. “The love of my life.”

A smile tugged at her lips, but exhaustion had already sunk its claws into her. The warmth of his hand lulled her further into its grasp. All she could manage was a content sigh before sleep took hold of her fully.

Cooper held her face between his hands, trying to memorize every little detail of her. Tears trailed down from red rimmed eyes that held so much fear. He’d walked her well past the point he’d intended to. If he didn’t turn back now, he was likely to follow her all the way to the Commonwealth.

A selfish part of him wanted to ask her to stay. To be with him forever. Fuck that other guy. But he couldn’t do that to her. This was more than just about some long lost love of hers. There was a whole part of her life that was stolen from her, and she didn’t even know if it existed anymore. 

“I don’t want to go,” she said, her voice cracking with sorrow.

He swiped away her tears with his thumbs.

“You can do this. I wouldn’t let you go if I didn’t think you’d make it.”

She blew out a shaky breath through trembling lips, “what if I don’t see you again?”

His heart crumpled as she gritted her teeth, trying to stop the sobs, but it was no use. 

“You will,” he reassured her knowing full well his words wouldn’t stop the hurt.

She gripped his wrists, like she was trying to keep him there just a little longer. “How can you be so sure?”

“I just feel it.”

She swallowed thickly, “I hope you’re right.”

He leaned down and kissed her just like he always did, like it was their last.

“I love you,” he said gruffly, trying to push back his own tears. 

Her grip on him tightened. “I love you too,” she replied shakily, “so fucking much Cooper.”

His heart ached as she broke apart, her chest heaving as the tears took hold again. He pulled her head against his chest and wrapped his arms around her tightly. Committing to memory how perfect she felt in his hold. “I promise honey, I am gonna find you again.”

He could feel it, deep in his bones. He was supposed to find her again, but there was always a chance that might not happen. After all, there’d been a time he’d been convinced he was gonna get to watch Janey grow. Send her off to college, walk her down the aisle, cheer her on for every big moment of her life, but timelines change, and now he didn’t even know how old his child was. All the hope in the world couldn’t guarantee they’d find each other again. But if he didn’t… “I hope you find him. Truly.”

She took a steadying breath against his chest before stepping back and taking his hands in hers. She found some composure as she looked up at him with a tight lipped smile. “If you find her before you find me, you run. Don’t leave me any clues. Don’t fucking risk it. I’ll try and find you. And if you’re close enough to the Commonwealth when you find her, you bring her and I’ll get you somewhere safe.”

“I will.”

That felt terrible, cause he knew if he did find Janey before he made his way back to Kate, he’d make sure no one ever found them, not even her. Felt even worse that he still hoped for that more than anything, even if it meant he’d never see Kate again. He’d live with the pain of not having Kate, if it meant he could have his daughter back.

She wiped away the tears before swinging her pack around and digging through it. “I have something for you.” 

She pulled out a polaroid and handed it to him. He couldn’t help the smile that stretched wide across his face. There she was, his wonderfully stubborn woman with a bent nose, flipping off the camera.

“Figured this would be better to remember me by than that old bounty poster you refuse to get rid of. Nose is still just as crooked, but I figured you’re gonna get real lonely out there and this may help you handle any urges you may have without me. The lingerie will help too.”

He tilted his head and looked at her bag expectantly. If he wasn’t so damn sad the thought of her in that set would have had him pinning her down right where they stood.

“Already stuffed it in your bag,” she said with a wink. A tear dropped down her cheek softening her attempt at sexy, but she landed beautiful flawlessly.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he chuckled as he tucked her polaroid into his bag. “Wish I had one to give you.”

She sniffled and cleared her throat, “it’s okay. I’ll just find one of your movie posters and scrape your nose off.”

He barked out a laugh, “you’re such a smartass.”

“Forever and always,” she lilted.

He slung his pack over his shoulder and adjusted his bandolier, his fingers brushing against his ammo when a thought hit him. He pulled one of the explosive rounds and held it out to her. “I want you to have this.”

She looked at it, confused, “you know I don’t do explosives.”

“You never know when you might need to and you can’t get a bullet like that anywhere else. One of a kind design. Rather you have it and never use it, than not have it and need it.”

“Thank you,” she said as she slipped it into her jacket pocket. It was plain she had no intention of ever using it, but still, she seemed to appreciate the gesture.

She took a deep breath and slung her pack over her shoulders then tucked her baseball cap on her head. Her eyes shifted back up to his, already filling with tears again, but she held them back. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Don’t look at it that way. Look at it for what it is. You’re finding yourself.”

She considered his words for a moment, then gave him a sharp nod. “Okay, if I don’t leave now I’m never gonna.”

“Okay.”

They stared at each other for a moment, neither of them breathing. Felt like the world was going to fall out from underneath them. She stepped in close, wrapping her arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist. Both taking one last kiss. It was long, tender, filled with pain and love. They peeled away from each other, that tether between them growing impossibly tight.

“I love you,” she said firmly.

“I love you too,” he replied. 

She slipped on her sunglasses, took one last look at him, and then turned on her heel and headed off down the highway.

He waved as she cast one last glance over her shoulder. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. So damn reminiscent of losing Janey, but Kate was different. She was made to do this. He had to remember that.

As he watched her disappear into the distance, he prayed to whoever the fuck might be listening. “Please, let me find her again.”

Chapter Text

Kate leaned a hip on the crumbling gate of the old granary burial ground, casually reloading as the last of the ferals came barreling towards her. It’s eyes wild with hunger, salivating with the subconscious need to devour her whole. She lifted her arm, lining up her shot, blowing its head off just before it got within arms reach of her. 

“You’re welcome,” she muttered blandly as she pushed off the gate and headed down the road. The tick in her jaw grew the more she pushed against the memories of the last time she did this walk. She lit up a cigarette as the glowing neon sign of Goodneighbor came into view. Never did she think this would be her first stop, but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. That and she was outta chems and her serotonin was at an all time low. If Goodneighbor was good for one thing, it was for having some killer chems. 

From what she’d heard, that's one of the few things that remained the same about the settlement. Her first night back in the Commonwealth, she’d found an abandoned house to hole up in for the night that had a working radio. Was completely shocked to hear Travis still on the radio, and he was actually good at it now. 

“Hey Folks! Travis here with a reminder from my good friend Mayor Hancock. Anyone in need of a safe place to rest their weary head or a warm meal should stop in to Goodneighbor. The inn may be full, but he assures me there is always room in Goodneighbor! Of the people for the people, am I right or am I right?”

Yeah fucking right. She’d heard this whole song and dance before. It was a tale as old as the wastes, some settlement claiming to be charitable. “All are welcome, we’re here to help, trust us.” Just for the poor souls desperate enough to believe the farce to be sold into a life of slavery, or worse. So, whatever was going on in Goodneighbor she doubted was as benevolent as it sounded. There was nothing good or neighborly about Goodneighbor and not even time could change that.

Although, it seemed time had changed some things in the Commonwealth. The streets were busier. More travelers, caravans. The further east she’d made it the more she’d heard about the downfall of the Institute. It was attracting a lot of attention. People looking for a safe place to call home. Endless fodder for whatever Goodneighbor was really up to.

Just as she hit the entrance to Goodneighbor, the door swung open. She tensed, her hand reaching for her gun. Fuck, maybe someone recognized her.

“Afternoon,” said the guard. An older gentleman in a three piece suit said with a chipped smile on his face and a submachine gun in his hand. He looked down at her hand on her pistol, “I really hope you don’t plan on using that. You got eyes on you from all sides. You won’t get very far.”

She looked around to the tops of the buildings lining the road. Sure enough, settlement guards glared down at her. Not dressed quite as flashy as the man before her, more tactical, armored. In the distance she spotted a sniper in a loft, sight trained on her.

“So what’ll it be,” the man asked, drawing her attention back to him, “gonna take your hand off that and come in or you gonna stay out there with the super mutants?”

With an annoyed grunt and a roll of he eyes she lifted her hands up in the air. 

“All are welcome, but we got a zero tolerance policy for bullshit. Best you remember that.”

“Got it,” she grunted as she pushed past him. 

She wasn’t interested in pleasantries, all she wanted was to get her chems and get out of there, but first, she needed caps. 

Two months ago she’d been richer than she’d ever been, but it hadn’t taken her long to blow through it all. Being without Cooper had been harder than she’d anticipated. It felt like a gaping hole had been ripped inside her chest. So she’d filled it with chems. The caps they’d gotten off Axel’s little operation hadn’t even lasted her a month.

She headed straight for the shops. Kill or Be Killed seemed pretty promising, but she took one look at the assaultron manning the counter and pivoted to the much more pleasant sounding operation, Daisy’s Discounts.

“Hey there, haven’t seen you around here before,” the ghoul at the counter said pleasantly. “Names Daisy.”

Kate pushed her sunglasses up on top of her hat, stepping up to the counter before she started dumping junk onto the counter.

“So…where are you coming in from?”

“Just came in from out west,” she replied, blandly, not bothering to look up at Daisy.

“West huh? What brings you to the East?”

Kate gave her a bored glance, “you sell chems here?”

Daisy gave her a tight lipped smile,“not here doll. Can give you 100 caps for this. Head on up to Mayor Hancock’s office. Just over there in the Old State House. He’ll get you all fixed up.”

She coulda gotten more than 100 caps for this shit, but she wasn’t even in the mood to try and barter. She just needed enough to get her fix and an entrance fee to the Combat Zone, but she was interested in hearing more about his Hancock guy. 

“What’s his deal? He one of Vic’s guys?”

“Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while, but no. Hancock strung Vic up nearly ten years ago.”

Kate’s brows pinch together. “When exactly?”

“December of ‘82.”

“Damn,” said monotonously. 

To think while Kate was being dragged across the wastes, Vic was being overthrown. She woulda loved to see it, but she just couldn’t bring herself to give a single fuck at the moment.

Daisy looked at her closer, assessing her.  

“You sound like you’re from around here. I’m surprised you don’t know Mayor Hancock. You some kinda vaultie or something?”

“Nah, I’ve just been gone a while.”

Daisy narrowed her eyes as she slid Kate’s pay across the counter. “What’s your name?”

Kate slipped the caps in her pocket and lowered her sunglasses back down. Ignoring Daisy’s question. She seemed nice, which was fucking odd for Goodneighbor, but Kate did not have any desire to make friends at the current moment.

“Pleasure doin’ business, Daisy,” Kate said as she turned and headed off into the courtyard. This shoulda been the point where Kate walked away. Should have just settled for some back alley chems, but her curiosity got the better of her. So she headed on over to the Old State house, wondering if today her curiosity was finally gonna do her in.

Chapter Text

Hancock stepped out of the Rexford and took a deep breath in, filling his lungs with the calming scent of late summer rain. The sun filtered through the clouds, warming his cheeks and reflecting in the puddles dotting the roadway. Days like this felt almost nostalgic. Reminded him of simpler times.

Things hadn’t been simple for a while now. He’d just wrapped up a “meeting” with Marowski. Guy had pitched a fit when the Freedman’s 3 year old, Becky, decided to put a mural in the front lobby. Really brought some character to the place, although Marowski accused her of being a graffiti artist in the making. 

Hancock had to give it to the kid, she did have a bright future in tagging. Did a wonderful job capturing her family in the portrait, even gave herself a crown like the little princess she was. Gave her father, James one of his watchmen a comically large head, which Hancock was sure would be the main topic of discussion at the next watch meeting. Becky had shown off her work proudly to him as Marowski stewed in the doorway of his office.

The idea that Marowski would be bothered by criminal activity was laughable. Which is exactly what Hancock had done when Marowski hurled that ludacris accusation at him before he even made it through the office door. Laughed right in his wrinkled face as he strode over and took a seat in his wingback chair. Actually it was Hancock’s wingback chair, he just let Marowski keep it warm for him.

Although Marowski seemed to forget that fact from time to today. Like today, when he had the balls to lean across the desk and shove a finger in Hancock’s face. “You forget I know all your dirty little secrets, mayor. What would those families think about all your side dealings?”

Hancock swore the withering stare he gave the bastard aged him 5 years in an instant. “Well Marowski, I’m not sure, but I do know how my people would feel about a mole from the institute living right under their noses.”

The grimey fuck paled as he sat back in the tiny chair in front of Hancock’s desk, utterly fucking defeated. Hancock gave him the biggest shit eating grin as he kicked his dirty boots up onto the desktop. A grin that was meant to remind Marowski of his place, well below Hancock’s boot. The mental image of Marowski sitting there gawking at him had a grin plastered on his face the entire walk back to the Old State House.

It was mid afternoon in the neighborhood. People were busy milling about, trying to get as much done as they could before another rad storm moved through. Winds gusted through the roadways, carrying the briney tang of the ocean just a few miles away. It had been a stormy summer, but it had worked in their favor. Helped with the small gardens they had going on the rooftops. Offset some of the cost of feeding all these people. The kids seemed to like it too. Gave them plenty of puddles to splash around it. It wasn’t exactly good for them, but Goodneighbor wasn’t exactly a kid friendly set up. Doc Amari had no problem making extra radaway for them anyways. Said it was good for their psyche or some shit.

Hancock pushed his way, politely, through the sea of people. Goodneighbor really had gotten a lot more popular since the institute went belly up. Well, that was putting it nicely.

Preston Garvey of all people had blown the place sky high. Effectively eliminating the Institute. There were still sleeper cells, lingering synths and agents, but things had been safer here since then. Not only did Garvey earn his general stripes that day, but he had also cemented his place in Commonwealth history.

The guy had refused the title for years. Had been more than happy to push that onto Nora when she’d arrived. She’d pretended like she didn’t want it, but Hancock knew she did, and she was good at it. She’d cared for the people of this place, even though she had no reason to. At least that's what they’d all thought. Garvey hadn’t been the same since he made that impossible decision to blow up the institute with her still in it. Hancock wasn’t sure what weighed on the man more, her death, or the fact that she’d turned on them all in the end. He himself had been haunted by both in varying degrees for years.

As he approached the State House Daisy caught his attention, waving him over with a concerned look on her face.

“How you doing today, Daisy,” he asked as he stepped through her shop.

“Good, good. Hey, I just sent a young lady up to your office. Said she just came in from out west. Was looking for some chems, figured it’d be best to just send her your way.”

He leaned on the counter, a roguish grin tugging at his taut lips.“She good lookin’?”

Daisy rolled her eyes, “she’s a female, so your type.”

Hancock gave her a wink, “guess I should get up there. Lay on some mayoral charm and give her the full tour of Goodneighbor.”

“Something you should know. She asked if you were one of Vic’s guys. She’s from around here, got a Commonwealth accent, but I don’t recognize her.”

Odd. People didn’t bring Vic up much nowadays. He and his crew were long forgotten at this point.

“What she look like?”

“She’s tired, strung out, but pretty. Close to your height. Brunette, curly hair.”

A coincidence. Had to be, but the faded memory of her giggle filtered through his head. Soft and melodic as he’d trailed kisses down her neck. 

“She tell you her name?”

“No, didn’t seem like she wanted to do much talking. She doesn’t look old enough to be your Kate. Late 20s, early 30s at the most.” 

Hancock nodded as he mulled over this info. He tapped his hand on the counter and headed off. “Thanks Daisy.”

Late 20s, it couldn’t be her. From time to time a woman would roll into town that matched her description. Everytime he did the same thing, got his hopes up, only to have them crushed. The last few times, he’d manage to keep himself grounded enough to soften the blow. Really ruined brunettes with curls for him. Felt too strange. Found himself comparing them to her, but no one could ever compare. Nora got close though.

For some reason, this felt different than all those other false alarms. The information was the same, but he’d had this odd feeling all day. Like something big was about to happen. His feet moved with a bit more purpose as he pushed past people, a little less polite than before, as he made his way to the Old State House.

“Morning Mayor,” Peters, one of his watchmen, said as he held the door open. “Someones waiting for you in your office. Pretty. Got a bit of an attitude though.”

That sure as hell sounded like Kate when she was strung out. She’d never been able to admit the problem she had with psycho, but everyone else could see it plain as day. 

Hancock took the stairs two at a time. His heart beating faster with anticipation the higher he climbed.

Late 20s, can’t be her.

No matter how many times he repeated that to himself, hope still bloomed.

It can’t be her. Don’t do this to yourself again. 

Getting his hopes up always ended the same way. With him drowning his sorrows in several bottles of liquor and as many chems as he could manage before passing out, leaving Farneheit and MacCready to keep this place running until he pulled himself out of it.

“All good mayor,” his second asked as she appeared behind him. “Heard you got a visitor.”

He blew out a breath as he reached the top step, trying not to let his annoyance show. Word traveled fast around here. Couldn’t keep much a secret these days.

“Never been better,” he replied tightly as he stepped into his office.

Crouched down in the corner of the room, scratching Dogmeat’s head, was a woman with frizzy brown hair tied back into a low pony. Dogmeat was in a state of pure bliss, his face resting in a hand so familiar to Hancock, tongue lolled out as she scratched behind his ashen ears. Old man didn’t do much but sleep these days, but he managed to have a slight kick in his back leg.

“You’re such a good boy,” she cooed. 

That voice…that was her voice. A flood of memories hit him in rapid succession. The subtle details of her voice giving the memories new life. Suddenly it was like it was 2282 and his world was upside down once more.

She looked over her shoulder, her eyes went wide as she took him in. Slowly she stood to her full height, her jaw going slack. 

“John,” she breathed out. 

John…a name he hadn’t heard in years. Fucking hated that name, but for the first time in a long time, that name sounded right again.

Chapter Text

Hancock stood in the doorway of his office, questioning if this was reality or not. He’d been through this song and dance enough times that he knew this was likely the latter. Cautiously, he approached her, not wanting to chase her away, or at least the memory of her if that was all this was. The dreams were always so fleeting. 

Faintly, he heard dog meat grumble as he settled his head back down onto the floor at her feet. Kate’s eyes, still wide with shock, flicked down the old man as he immediately started snoring again. “Is he yours?”

“Yeah,” he replied as he stepped up to her. 

“He’s awfully sweet,” she whispered.

He hummed in agreement as his hand drifted slowly up to her face on its own volition. When his calloused fingers brushed her forehead she didn’t shrink away. Instead her own hands came up to rest over his chest as his eyes darted over her features, trying to take in every tiny detail of her at once. She sported a split lip and the yellow remnants of what was likely a wicked shiner at one point, but her face was not much different than when he’d last seen her. Her cheeks were a bit thinner, the bags under her eyes darker, but she still looked like her. 

And those eyes, fuck, those eyes were so damn beautiful. They were the same ones he’d spent years getting lost in, only for the full detail of their beauty to be stolen from him with the passage of time. There’d been so many days he’d spent staring out to the Atlantic, imagining he was staring into the grey blue of her eyes, but it never seemed to help sharpen his memories. It was nothing compared to this. 

“It's really you,” he breathed out.

Slowly, her trembling fingers drifted up to his face, lightly tracing the striations along his cheek. A touch he wanted nothing more than to lean into.

“What happened to you?”

Ah, fuck.

Time had been far kinder to her looks than his. He brushed his thumb across her cheek as if he could brush the concern in her eyes away. “Don’t worry, love, traded my good looks for the high of my life.”

His gentle reassurance didn’t seem to do much good. A crease formed between her brow as her palm smoothed across his cheek. “Did it hurt?”

“I’ve felt worse,” he said with a shrug.

“Were you alone?”

“It was better that way.”

Without warning, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her chest, but his mind still struggled to accept that this was real. Over the years, he’d had countless dreams of the day she’d finally return to him. It became such a frequent occurrence that he’d learned to steel his heart while he ran through a mental checklist to separate reality from his fantasies.

On a slow inhale he noted the sweat and earthy aroma of dirt, but underneath it he could pick up faint scent of hubflower. It wasn’t just the memory of the scent, he could truly smell it. Still, he wasn’t convinced. In some of his most vivid dreams, he swore he could actually smell her. 

So he let his palms flatten on her back, trying to feel her with every nerve ending he had left. Her muscles twitched below his hands as they smoothed over her. She felt…different. Firmer. If this was a dream, would she not feel the same? She usually did. Hope wriggled its way in, sending his heart pounding. Hope was dangerous. When it shattered it would always leave him in pieces.

“Please tell me this is real,” he whispered into the shell of her ear, “are you really here?”

“I’m here, John,” she whispered as her arms tightened around him, “I swear, it’s me.”

There was a clarity in her words that the Kate of his dreams never possessed. A realness. There were subtleties in her tone, ones he didn’t even realize he’d lost the memory of over the years. It was so different from his dreams, so much more her.

Then he felt something truly wonderful. Something he’d never felt in any of his dreams. The steady drum of her heart beating through her chest. It was as if that unlocked the cage he’d held around his own heart as hope gave way to sweet relief.

“God I missed you so much,” he croaked as he squeezed her tighter.

For a brief moment, all he felt was the purest happiness he’d ever experienced, but then reality slapped him across the scarred face. Kate had been gone for 10 years, and he had no clue what any of that had entailed. 

As unease gripped his chest, he stepped back and held her arms out wide so he could inspect her. She didn’t have any visible injuries, but there wasn’t much skin showing. “Are you okay?”

Vaguely he heard her reply with an “I’m fine,” but the scars around her wrists, like she’d been bound, had him disconnecting from reality again. A ringing filled his ears as his pulse quickened, a sickness formed in his gut as he noted the scars poking out from beneath the collar of her shirt. Over the years, he’d seen her injured far more times than he would have liked. Rarely did she scar. Whatever happened to her had to be far worse than anything she’d ever experienced before.

“Where have you been? Did someone have you? Did they hurt you? We should get you to Doc.” The words tumbled out of him in a panicked ramble. 

Her mouth was moving, but he couldn’t hear her words. All he could think about was getting her to Doc. Not wanting to waste another moment, he tugged her towards the door, but her feet remained cemented to the floor.

“John!” 

His name on her lips broke through his panic.

“I’m okay,” she whispered, soothingly as she pulled him back towards her. “They only had me for a few months before I got away.”

His heart sank. “ Months?”

She gave him a sad smile. “Just a few.”

After the siege of Kingsport, there’d been endless possibilities of what happened to her. In those early days, every single one of them had run through his head on a continuous loop. It was torture. The guilt had haunted him to the point that meeting his basic needs became impossible at a time. Why should he have had the privilege to care for himself when there was a possibility of her suffering?

“Who took you?”

Kate opened her mouth to answer, but snapped it shut as her eyes flicked to Fahrenheit. The stare down that ensued between the two of them would have had the hairs standing up on the back of his neck had he had any left. Like a couple deathclaws sizing each other up. Hancock watched, half ready to have to pull them apart as the two glare daggers at each other. Fuck, she was scarier than he’d remembered. 

“Heard you got company mayor,” MacCready said all too slyly as he sauntered through the door, unknowingly stepping right in the line of fire, but a second later his survival instincts kicked into gear, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Well, shit. What did I just walk into?”

“Kate’s here,” Fahrenheit replied casually, her eyes still locked on Kate’s as she leaned back against the doorframe.

MacCready’s head snapped to Fahrenheit. “Like the Kate?” 

She nodded as she closed the doors to his office. Banishing the prying eyes of the watchmen.

MacCready’s head snapped back to Kate. “Holy shit. Where the hell have you been?”

“She was just about to tell us that,” Fahrenheit replied as she strolled over to the liquor cabinet. 

“I’m sorry,” Kate said as she took a step back from Hancock, “who the hell are you two?”

“Kate,” Hancock cut in before his right and left hand could say anything stupid, “this is Fahrenheit, my second, and this is MacCready, head of the neighborhood watch. Who have both forgotten their manners today.”

“Ah, let’s be real,” MacCready said with a slanted grin on his face, “we never really had them to begin with. We’re barely even house trained.”

“I doubt Kate really cares,” Fahrenheit added, pouring four glasses of one of his top shelf selections. He could see what game she was playing. Prying Kate with liquor, hoping to loosen her tongue. “I mean, it wasn’t like she had any when she spoke to Daisy.”

Hancock pinched his brow. This was going to hell in a handbasket. 

“Ah, yeah. I was kind of a bitch to her. Speaking of which, you got anything on you” Kate asked matter-of-factly. “I was looking for chems and she said you were the guy to ask.”

Given his proclivities, that question had never bothered him, but hearing it from Kate was different.

“You’re using?”

“Uh, yeah,” she replied awkwardly. “Picked up a couple habits over the years.”

Hancock guided her to the couches, motioning for her to sit. “What’re you looking for?”

She averted her gaze as she sat stiffly on the cushion. “Jet. If you have it.”

“I got whatever your heart desires, love.”

Her eyes flicked up to his. He could see the whisperings of shame there, so he did his best to give her a reassuring smile. If she was using, there wasn’t anything he could do to stop her. The last thing he wanted was to chase her off to a back alley dealer. His shit was good, clean, got ya high but wouldn’t take your life so long as you didn’t push it too far. If that’s what she needed, he’d give it to her, even if just to keep her safe. 

“Got some options,” he said as he dug through his pocket and pulled out a couple canisters before sitting beside her. “This shit”-- he held up one of the canisters–“feels like you’re floating away on a cloud. This shit,”--he held up the other canister–“will knock you on your ass.”

“That’s the one,” she declared as she snatched the canister from his hand. 

“Go easy–”

Before his warning fell from his lips she had sucked down the whole canister. A half a second later her eyes fluttered shut and her body went limp. John managed to catch her before she slammed back into the cushion and laid her down gently to ride it out. He cursed himself for even pulling that one out. It was strong enough to make him feel good after only one full dose. The room fell silent as they all stared at her. MacCready sank down into the cushion across from them while Fahrenheit placed down the glasses of whiskey on the table and perched on the arm of her chair with her own.

“So,” MacCready said cautiously. “Kate’s back.”

“Yeah,” Hancock huffed out. “I guess she is.”

“You two really are suckers for a nice pair of tits.”

Hancock cast a glare at Fahrenheit, “have some respect. She’s been through…well I have no idea.”

“Because that’s not Kate,” she replied coolly, motioning to Kate’s unconscious body with her glass. “You really believe after ten years she’s just gonna show up here out of all places? She was persona non grata last she knew.”

“She probably heard the broadcasts. Figured this place was safe if we were offering help.”

“Even so, how the hell is she to know a regime change would mean she’s safe here?”

Kate let out a little sigh, but when she didn’t wake they returned to their hushed conversation.

“Why didn’t she go home first? You said she was gone by the time you made it to Kingsport. Why wouldn’t she want to go there and see if there were any survivors?”

Hancock leaned back in his seat as his gaze shifted back to Kate. The tension that had filled her face just moments ago had melted away, her body lax. She looked peaceful. Like she did that night in Bunker Hill. Wrapped up in his arms. 

“I know you want this to be her–”

“Watch it,” he gritted out, his voice barely above a whisper as his eyes bore into Fahrenheit.  “You know how dangerous an accusation like that is.”

She didn’t shrink away from his sharp glare. Never did. Part of what made her so damn good as his second. “Maybe not, but you need to handle this smarter than you did Nora.”

Hancock’s eyes shifted to MacCready who was still watching Kate. Like he was half expecting her to spring up and start shooting. When his eyes flicked up to his, there was a silent ‘I’m sorry’, swimming there.

This was a moment he’d waited years for. He would have given up anything to have her back, which was exactly what would make her the perfect mole. The institute may be down and out, but they were still around. There were synths who still walked the streets, many of them completely innocent to the dealings of the institute, but there were sleeper cells still working to achieve their original goals. It would be a mistake to not be cautious with her, and Goodneighbor was at a point where one wrong move would topple over their carefully crafted house of cards.

Kate inhaled deeply as she started to come to. When her eyes fluttered open, they darted around the room, like she was unsure of where she was. When they landed on him she let out a sigh of relief as the corner of her lip tipped up. He was struck by a sense of Deja Vu. The image of her, laid out on their bed in Bunker Hill. The sunlight that streamed through the window shone across her face just after she’d first cracked her eyes open for the day. Staring at him like he was the love of her life. Fuck if this wasn’t Kate, this was gonna hurt.

“How ya feelin’,” John asked as he leaned forward and held out a hand to her..

“You weren’t kidding when you said that would knock me on my ass,” she replied, letting her voice crack as she reached out and took his roughened hand in hers, hating herself for the sweet smile she gave him. The last thing she felt like doing was smiling sweetly right now, but she had no choice. As she’d slowly come down from the clouds, the voices in the room around her had come back into focus. 

These people didn’t trust her. Like really didn’t trust her. Which, fine, whatever. She was used to not being trusted. What really stung was that he didn’t trust her, and why should he? From what she’d pulled from Axel, she knew the institute had their targets set on him and Goodneighbor, but him being suspicious of her was a problem. When people got suspicious, they did stupid shit. Like rip people apart in the streets. If that happened, under his watch, or god forbid by his own order, she couldn’t imagine what the guilt would do to him when he realized she didn’t have any synth components buried in her brain. So it was far more than just her own safety that had her lying to him so easily. 

So she played a role she knew he’d fall for. The damsel in distress. Playing up the grogginess, she leaned back against the arm of the chair, tucking her knees into her chest, making herself look small. It did nothing to calm Fahrenheit, who was still glaring at her, unblinking, but MacCready seemed to relax a bit. John still looked like he was just trying to process it all as 

he leaned forward and reached for the glasses of whiskey that had appeared on the coffee table during her stupor and handed a glass to her. 

With a nod of thanks she brought the glass to her lips and took a sip of the rich amber liquid, desperate for anything to keep her mind at ease. It was stupid coming in here so off kilter. She was jonesing hard, for pretty much everything, and that made it terribly difficult for her mind to work properly. The jet had helped, but she needed to catch up quickly if she was gonna keep control of this situation. Judging by the taste of the whiskey he’d given her, it wasn’t going to be much of a problem.

“This is good shit,” she marveled. 

“That’s from the ole’ mayoral stash.”

She chuckled. “I thought you had no interest in politics.”

“Wasn’t really into politics. I was just after that revolution we talked about, but you know how power is. Once you get a taste, it's difficult to just walk away.”

She hummed in agreement. She knew that all too well. She’d had more than just a taste in Kingsport, but that was more of a cruel tease than anything. Something she could never truly have.

“So, Daisy said you killed Vic?”

A proud smile tugged at his scarred face. Still strikingly handsome despite the ghoulification.  “I did. Found him cowering in a corner while he let his men be slaughtered. Pushed him right off the balcony over a cheering crowd. You would have loved it.”

“I’m sorry I missed it. Fucker deserved it. I knew he was gonna come after us.”

John’s face pinched in confusion. “He didn’t.”

“Yeah he did. I mean, he wasn’t there, but Slade was. Had the time of his fucking life destroying mine.”

“No. Slade acted alone. He’d floated the idea of coming after you guys for months, but Vic wouldn’t go for it. Didn’t want to deal with the blowback. Eventually he got a small group to turn on Vic and came for Kingsport.”

Her mind spun at the revelation. It had never crossed her mind that Slade would have turned on Vic. He’d always been disgustingly loyal. 

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Slade made sure everyone knew he was the one responsible for Kingsport.”

“Shit,” she huffed out as she ran through it all in her mind.

“Kate, what happened to you after? We thought Slade might have kept you, but when I took back Kingsport, you weren’t there. I questioned him for days, but he gave up nothing of use. Just a bunch of nonsense. He was toying with me. We searched everywhere, but couldn’t find any sign of you. You vanished.”

There was so much to unpack, but her mind couldn’t fully process what he was saying. All she could focus on was one thing. “You took back Kingsport?”

“It was my trial run before taking Goodneighbor. I was hoping Sammy would take it and move the kids back in, but it was too painful for them. I didn’t have enough resources to spare on keeping Kingsport, so we decided to let it go. It wasn’t an easy decision, I swear.”

Kate wasn’t sure she was breathing. 

“Sammy’s alive?”

“Fuck that’s right, you wouldn’t know any of this, you were gone before I got there.”

“You were there?”

“I was. Tommy and I came back from Salem as soon as we heard the first explosion.”

The revelations had thrown her. She sat up straight, planted her feet on the grown and tossed back the rest of her whiskey, gulping it down without even tasting it. She placed her empty glass down onto the table and turned back to John who was clearly just as thrown off as her.

“Tell me everything.”

Chapter Text

November 2282

“‘ I got time’, are you fucking kidding me? As if I should be honored she's finally squeezing me into her schedule. Shit, I can’t even get her to spend a night with me without her sneaking out of bed to do fucking paperwork the second I fall asleep. Toiling away over routes. You’d think she’d be able to spare a little time for me. Especially since I suck up my pride and sneak into that town, per her fucking request. 

“Which, by the way, you need to do something about that.  I mean, did you see those jackasses at the north gate? I swear, a deathclaw could waltz right through those gates and they’d be none the wiser. They were so pickled, I doubt they could even see straight, let alone shoot.”

“I saw them,” Tommy replied with a sigh of frustration. “I sent Rory to go cover them, not that he's in much better shape at the moment, but that kid could hit a target blindfolded while doing a fucking keg stand so I think they’ll be fine. I’m sure Eaton will deal with them tomorrow.” 

“I highly doubt that.”

Tommy shot him a glare. He’d grown a soft spot for the man in recent years. “You can get back to your meltdown.” 

John had been screaming at the sky out behind the witch museum when Tommy had shown up. Wisely, he’d kept his mouth shut and sat his ass down below their favored tree. The one their little group would congregate around during the bonfires that popped up here from time to time. John's eyes flicked over to the low hanging branch Kate would perch herself on, letting a leg dangle down as she enjoyed a beer. The image invoked both an intense longing and a roiling rage deep within him. He’d never been so fucking mad at her.

He’d worked hard for that high, and she’d ruined it with her hysterics. When he’d picked up that shit in Goodneighbor, the dealer promised it was top tier, so he’d stocked up. Unfortunately, it had been a total waste of caps. Each dose he took had barely hit him, so naturally, he kept going. 

Before he knew it he was 8 canisters deep and bam , out like a fucking light. It may have been a process to get there but he had to admit it ended up being a pretty decent high. The party raging outside had faded from existence and he ended up in a place where none of his troubles would follow. Pure bliss. Until, Kate showed up and yanked him down from the heavens, and to make matters worse, she took his last fucking hit. Which left him to deal with his rage completely unassisted. She may have liked to fester in her anger, but he absolutely did not.

“How is she even gonna throw a fucking intervention at me when she's hitting the damn syringe enough that she's scarring. Have you seen her legs?”

Tommy pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I can’t say I’ve been staring at your girlfriend's legs.”

“Well it’s bad. She looks like a damn pin cushion. I’ve never seen her scar before. You shoulda heard how she went off on me when I brought that up. I mean shit, talk about pot meet kettle.”

It was probably two weeks back, maybe one. Eh, things got a bit fuzzy recently for him so it was difficult to really say. Regardless, they’d been having a lovely evening. The second he’d walked through her door she’d pounced on him. Long gone were the days of Kate being shy with him. Clothes had been scattered around her tiny shack with reckless abandon. Nearly set his damn pants on fire when he accidentally tossed them on her little wood burning stove. It was bad enough he had to sneak in and out of that place, there was no way in hell he was doing it pantless.

When all fire hazards had been tended to she’d pushed him down onto her mattress, climbed atop him and got right down to business. Fuck did he love when she rode him. The first time, she’d been so timid. In her defense, he had kind of just tossed her up there. She’d tried positioning her arms to shield her insecurities, but after he’d spent some time showing her just how much he loved every last piece of her, she’d stopped trying to hide. Now she seemed to come alive under his gaze.

What a show she would put on for him.God she’d looked so fucking perfect up there. Soft curls tumbled over her shoulders as her head fell back on a moan, leaving her body on full display for him. 

He leaned back on a bent arm as he watched himself disappear inside her. The visual stroked his male ego just as much as it did his cock. Having her felt like a prize. Like something the universe had gifted to him for so reason he absolutely could not think of, but he wasn’t going to question it.

John had sampled a lot of women in his time. Had a real thing for variety. All shapes, sizes, colors. He’d always thought he had no specific type, he just loved women. Then he’d gotten a taste of Kate and realized she was his preferred flavor. Not a damn thing could come close to her.

“You look like you belong up there, love.”

“You feel like you belong inside me,” she sighed as her head rolled forward. 

When her smokey gaze had locked with his, he found something primal in her eyes. Like he fed something deep within her soul just like she did his.

“I think you’re right,” he replied with a crock of his fingers, beckoning her closer.

A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she leaned forward and pressed her hands into his chest. Unknowingly to him, the kiss she gave him was one he’d eventually spend years yearning for.

As their tongues tangled his hands explored. For a woman who spent her life on the road, she was so damn soft. Eagerly, his hands slid over her curves, savoring the flexion of her muscles just below the silky surface as she rode him. It was all so overwhelming, he barely noticed the series of bumps trailing up her thigh. Before his mind could consider them,  a breathy moan slipped from her lips and made him forget them entirely.

“God, your pussy is on another level,” he’d gritted out as his head fell back into the pillow and his hands snapped to her waist. “I don’t know how much longer I can hold it.”  

A sinful smile stretched across her face as her breaths came in needy pants that had his balls tensing, but he tamped down the need for release. “Keep smiling at me like that and I’m definitely–ah fuck–not making it.”

“You better not come,” she warned with a smoky edge to her voice that had done absolutely nothing to help his resolve. “I am so fucking close.”

“What if I do? You gonna spank me?”  

Another slow roll of her hips had his cock sliding through her silken heat all the way to the hilt. Felt so damn good, his body was begging him for release. 

“Actually,” he gritted out, “don’t answer that right now. I like that idea too much.”

Not like she could have even if she’d wanted to, her breathy pants had melted into barely bitten back moans the closer she’d brought herself. When she was teetering on the edge of oblivion, she buried his cock deep inside her and worked her hips in little circles, pressing her clit against him as she chased her orgasm. Watching her take what she wanted from him nearly sent him right over the goddamn edge, but he was determined to hold out for her.

“Oh fuck yes,” she cried out as her orgasm took her. Her words lost their coherence as they’d tumbled into a strangled cry.

That was probably the point he should have pulled out from her, let himself come with her, on her, but he really liked the sound she made when he fucked that orgasm fully out of her. She didn’t fight him as he’d pulled her down and pinned her to his chest. He dug his heels into the mattress and gripped her ass as he drove up into her.

“Oh god John, yes,” she groaned as she buried her face into his neck, trying in vain to quiet herself. The notes she hit had a satisfying wobble to them as he’d bounced her on his cock. A melody that washed across his skin and made his mind fuzzy with pleasure. Common sense had slipped through the cracks in her ceiling, lost somewhere in the cool fall air, and before he’d realized what was happening his own orgasm had broken free. 

“ Fuck,” he hissed as he abruptly pulled from her, spilling the rest of his release between them. “I’m sorry, I held on too long, again.”

But she didn’t scold him, she never did. Instead she clung to him as she caught her breath and gave him a reassuring tap on the shoulder. 

They laid there for a few minutes, hearts pounding through their chests, slowing as one as he ran his hands down her back. The sex they had left him in a post-coital state of euphoria unlike anything he’d ever experienced. If he could have bottled whatever the hell that feeling was up to huff on a daily basis, he’d never need another chem in his life.

“Is it weird that I find it hot when you finish in me,” she asked, breaking the silence.

“Don’t say that,” he groaned halfheartedly, “ it’s only gonna make it harder for me to be good next time.”

The pull out method had always worked for him, mainly because he didn’t push his limits. Kate had him staring at all the damn warning signs his body gave him and giving them the bird as he blew past every last one. Didn’t even realize creampies did it for him until the first time he’d lost himself inside her. That kink was one he wished they could explore more, but the consequences weren’t worth it. If there was one thing John McDonough would never be in his lifetime, it was someone's old man. 

When the sensation fully returned to his limbs, he rolled her onto the mattress to fully appreciate her in the afterglow. The rosy apples of her cheeks rounded as she gave him a sleepy smile. After all these years, he still couldn’t help but find himself in awe of her beauty. He’d felt the words he’d held back for so long bubbling up as he stared into her eyes and traced his fingers tenderly down her arm, but they slipped away when he came across a new notch in her bicep. He leaned up on an elbow and pulled her arm closer to find another series of bumps surrounded by yellowed bruising.

“I didn’t think you hit it that much,” he commented as he dragged his thumb over the scars.

“I don’t,” she said dismissively as she tugged her arm away. “Just had a rough run.”

She’d always seemed to heal well, saying it was genetics. Certainly didn’t come from her father. His time roaming the wastes had been etched into his skin like runes. Really it didn’t seem she inherited much physical features from him, just his work ethic and attitude.

“Bullshit. You’re doing it enough that you’re scarring. That’s not just from one run.”

“John, what do you want me to do?” She snapped. “I’m tired. If I don’t use it, I’ll probably get myself killed. Is that what you want?”

He knew that tactic. Had used it himself on Tommy plenty of times before he finally accepted he was a Jet head. She was gaslighting him. She could try to deflect all she wanted, but that shit didn’t work on him.

“Take a few days off.”

“ As if it’s that easy,” she replied bitterly as rolled back to stare at the ceiling, pulling the sheets up over her. “I’ll get a break when winter hits.”

“No you won’t. You’ll be keeping everyone’s heat on while you freeze your ass off in the snow.”

“Do you want me to let them freeze instead? Most of them have children.”

“Even more of a reason for them to get their asses out there and do it themselves.”

“We tried that, they got sloppy with maintenance, ended up creating more issues and way more work than if we just did it ourselves.”

“Then let them figure it out.”

“That’s not fair to them.”

“It's not fair to you.”

“You don’t get it,” she sighed.

No matter how hard he tried not to let that irritate him, it really fucking did. He might not have grown up in the cushy confines of a settlement, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t understand their way of life. He understood completely, those people took advantage of her and she’d allowed it.

But he let it go and pushed his annoyance aside as he slipped beneath the sheets, tucking himself against her side, his arm wrapping around her bare waist. “They won’t freeze to death. They will figure it out if they have to.”

She looked up at him with more than just post sex fatigue in her eyes. She was so worn, down to the very core. Not just from her last run, but from years of this bullshit, and it was only getting worse. 

“But they will break it first,” she whined. " And then I have to run out and do another supply run mid winter because we’ve burned through replacement parts.”

“Make them do it,” he said flatly.

She gave him a look that said she was absolutely done talking about it, but he absolutely was not.

“Don’t look at me like that. All you do is make excuses for those people. If you spent your time off actually taking care of yourself maybe you wouldn’t have to give yourself a chem problem just to stay alive.”

That had her cheeks burning bright red. 

“ Right. I should be well rested so Mayor McDonough can send me on another one of his goddamn scavenger hunts. This place, the caravan, that’s my job. Taking care of Kingsport, whatever that entails, is my job. Not his bullshit. He is adding on the extra work. The shit he has us getting is insane. You should see these places we’re going. As if what he did to the ghouls wasn’t bad enough, now he has to fuck us a million ways to Sunday—”

In a move that even in the moment felt wrong, he’d cut off her rambling with a kiss, regretting ever bringing up his concerns.  

“Forget them,” he said between kisses as his hand slipped down between her legs, fingers swirling through the mess they’d made together. “You only got a few hours off, you need to rest.”

“This isn’t sleeping,” she’d huffed out, but she still spread her legs for him and rested her hands atop his shoulders as he moved lower. 

“You’re never going to be able to sleep all worked up. I need to help you relax first,” he murmured. Her breath hitched as he pressed a featherlight kiss to her taut nipple before continuing his descent. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

Her fingers slid up the sides of his neck as he drifted lower, leaving a trail of electricity skirting across his skin before threading through his hair. “It’s not you, it’s just–ahhh.”

His tongue on her clit had stolen the words from her lips and the worries from her mind. They were better off not talking about it. At the time, he’d thought they could hide from it in the heat of passion, but even that started to fade away over the past few weeks. As her anger had grown he’d tried distracting her more, until the sex was just fucking and nothing more. It didn’t feel like them. Just another thing this world had taken from him.

“All she does is make excuses for them. She’s killing herself for these people and they don’t seem to give a shit,” John seethed as he continued ranting. He’d left out some of the more intimate details of that night while still getting his point across. “Do they get how fucking lucky they are to have her?”

“Yes. They get it.” Tommy replied blandy as he leaned his head back against the tree.

“Then they should start fucking acting like it! You don’t treat someone you care about like that! All she does is work. What kind of life is that? Not that one she wants, that’s for sure. You’ve seen the look in her eyes when I tell her about all the places I’ve been. She wants that life. She wants freedom. Instead, she's practically chained to that goddamn lighthouse. I don’t get why she can’t just tell everyone to fuck off. I mean, with that temper of hers, how the fuck has she not snapped on them yet?”

John took a deep inhale, filling his lungs in preparation for his next tear.

“She did,” Tommy replied blandly.

The air fizzled out of him on a long exhale. “She did what?”

“She told them to fuck off.”

“Who?”

“Literally everyone. Mayor McDonough, her father. She's done. All of us are. Forest Grove was the last straw. We ended up getting overrun by ferals, but she refused to take any psycho. Almost got herself killed because of it. I had to take out one that almost sank its teeth into her throat, and let me tell you I did not like taking that shot. My bullet was way too close to her head. As much as you might think she likes the psycho, she doesn’t. She uses cause she has to. So, please, do not act like your situations are the same.”

“How is it not?”

“She's taking it so she can survive.”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“Oh no, John. Don’t lie to yourself,” he replied bitterly. “Survival doesn’t matter to you at this point. All you care about is the escape.”

“Same fucking difference,” he grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest and gave Tommy his back. Fuck him. If all he was gonna do was lecture him, John was going to give his ranting and raving to the sky. It was a far more respectful audience.

“You know, those demons of yours only get stronger the longer you run from them. Trust me. I’ve been there, done that, and bought the damn postcard.”

For most of his time in Kingsport, Tommy had been pretty fucking miserable. It wasn’t that they treated him poorly, actually they put up with way too much of his bullshit. After his father died, he struggled to find happiness. Who could blame the kid? It wasn’t just like he lost his old man, but the only life he’d ever known. 

Where they’d grown up was rough. Especially for a widow with a small child. Luckily, Eaton had rolled through a few days after his father was murdered and offered to bring the two of them back to Kingsport. Any kid would struggle with so much change so quickly. John’s situation wasn’t anything like that though.

“I’m fine,” he snapped.

“No you’re not. No one could be after what you went through.”

“ Me ,” John shouted as he whirled on Tommy. “What the fuck have I gone through? I’m not the one who was ripped from my home, ridiculed while being beaten to a pulp. Those ghouls suffered, and only one of them survived. ONE. And look at his life now.”

Goodneighbor had not been good to Clyde. At first he had Gino, so while it was terrible, at least he wasn’t alone, but it didn’t take long for Gino to go feral. Last time John had checked in, Clyde was barely hanging on. He was starving, terrified, and losing his very feeble grip on his sanity. John had begged him to leave the alley he’d made his new hiding spot, but he was too fucking scared. Didn’t want to go through what he did that night when he barely escaped DC. Honestly, John didn’t even know if he could survive that journey again. So he’d gone back every few days and checked on him. Got him some supplies. Hung out with him for a bit. The guy was struggling. It was tough to witness, he couldn’t imagine how awful it must have felt. At least John could pick up some chems there to help him forget…

“You tried,” Tommy said gently. “You did more than anyone else.”

John scoffed. “Not hard enough. All I managed to do was bring him to a life of fear, almost get Kate killed, which I can’t stop playing on repeat in my head, and to top it all off, I dragged Kingsport into this.”

Tommy sighed. “Let’s be real, we would have come anyway. The second we got word of what happened, we would have tried to help the ghouls somehow and no matter how diplomatic we would have tried to be about it, we would have pissed off Mayor McDonough. This wasn’t your fault.”

Kingsport had never been ones to shy away from refugees. Tommy was one of the many examples of that. Still, he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

His lips pulled into a tight line as he wrung his hands. “Did she really break the agreement with Mayor McDonough?”

“She did,” Tommy said with an oddly amused grin considering how big of a deal that was. “Naturally, she was a bit dramatic about it. Almost killed Patterson in the process, which would have been a gift to the world if it wouldn’t have gotten her strung up before the front gates. Rory and I managed to pull her off him before she pulled the trigger, but she really got her point across. Pretty sure everyone within range tuned into that radio communication between him and Eaton. Phil told me it was loud.”

“Fuck,” John gritted out as he wiped his hand down his face. In his anger he wanted nothing more than for Kate to do exactly that, but it left Kingsport up the creek without a paddle, and despite his gripes with them, he didn’t want that.

Tommy shifted to give John space against the tree as John sank down into the dirt beside him. His pulse slowed a couple points as his shoulder pressed against Tommy’s. The contact grounded him. “Is he really going to ban Kingsport from DC?”

“Says he is.”

“Think he's bluffing?”

“We don’t really give a shit if he is or not,” he scoffed. “We’re done dealing in what ifs. Everyone knows what is going on and not a single settlement has offered us any help. Some fucking allies,” he spat. “If we want to survive, we need to get a little selfish. No more deals. No more breaking our backs for the greater good. Time to put ourselves first.”

John’s brows furrowed. “What are you guys planning?”

Tommy gave John a sly smile.“We’re taking Salem.”

Chapter Text

“We’re taking Salem.”

John was so shocked by the turn of events he swore his jaw hit the fucking dirt. Words failed him as he gawked at his best friend who wore an unhinged grin. This was huge.

Tommy had been so giddy about the whole thing he could barely contain his excitement and dragged John, still stunned, down to the old market stalls in town as he brought him up to speed on Kingsport’s bailout plan: Resurrecting Salem.

They’d come up with the idea years ago, sitting around their favored tree behind the witch museum as a bonfire had roared in the center of the field. It had been terrible day for a fire. The winds were whipping off the Atlantic from a storm churning out on the open ocean, but they were determined not to let that get in the way of a good time. Clean air be damned. No matter how hard they’d tried to shield themselves, they couldn’t escape the smoke that stung their eyes and caught in their lungs. If it hadn’t been so damn long since they’d seen each other, they would have thrown in the towel hours ago.

Rory pressed his body against the tree, trying to shield himself as he frantically waved away that cloud of smoke that drifted in their air space. 

“Someone’s gotta open a bar up around here,” he choked out. “ Stick one right in the damn museum. I’m sure that place is full of cool shit to decorate with. People love that kitschy shit.”

“You kidding me, as if anyone would be brave enough to try,” Tommy replied, completely unbothered by the smoke down below the tree. If they were smart, they would have all joined him down in the tiny pocket of clean air he sat in, but they were stubborn and liked their usual spots.

“Not much of a business model if the ghosts in there scare off all your customers,” John agreed as he held in a lungful of cigarette smoke, ashing his cigarette over the tree limb his arms rested on. At least the nicotine made the caustic air a bit more enjoyable.

“Oh come on, that’s nothing but a bunch of stories to keep kids from sneaking in there and falling through the floorboards,” Kate said from her perch as she fanned before her with a leafy branch. 

“Says the woman who clung to my arm so damn tight my hand turned purple that night we heard that wailing coming from inside there,” he replied with a slanted grin as he reached up to help her clear the thick plume that was stuck around her. 

“I think you’re imagining things again,” Kate replied dismissively as she leaned back against the trunk to enjoy the brief moment of cleanish air.

He definitely wasn’t, she just didn’t want to admit she was, in fact, freaked right the fuck out by whatever they’d heard that night.

“Regardless,” she pressed on before he could point that fact out, “ the reputation that place has is bad for business.”

“Fine, whatever,” Rory relented in frustration, throwing his hands up in the air. “ Pick any of the dozens of empty buildings around to open one up in. Got plenty of empty beds in town. Someone could easily open a whole damn inn.”

Kate pursed her lips in consideration. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“Could open up a few shops in that old market. God knows people would love any reason not to go to DC,” John added. He sure as all would.

“Fix up a couple homes while you’re at it. Permanent residents would be better for business ,” Tommy said.

Another cloud of smoke drifted its way past the tree. As another cloud got trapped in the branches, she pulled the collar of her shirt up to cover her face.

“Now this is getting expensive,” Kate grumbled from inside her shirt. “The mirelurks did a number on most of those places. Not even Barney has tried reclaiming anything past his families home.”

Bat shit crazy Barney Rook had been the sole survivor of the once thriving settlement that had called Salem home. Not long before Kate’s parents had settled in Kingsport, mirelurks scuttled in and ate the whole damn town. Barney barely escaped. Took refuge with a family south, but he could never escape the voices of his dead relatives. A few years back he returned with a full arsenal of weapons and waged war on the oversized crustaceans. Did a damn good job too. He'd since settled into a life on guard, protecting the rotting homes from a new infestation. Called himself the commander of the Salem militia. Since then, the bonfires had been a bit less sliced and dicey.

“ If he had someone he trusted who was willing to front the caps, you know he’d be all over the idea of breathing new life into this place,” Rory said. 

Another gust of wind whipped past them, whisking away the cloud of smoke from them. A moment later Kate’s head reemerged and she smoothed down the frizzed baby hairs around her hairline.

“Well, good luck finding someone who has the time and money,” she replied.

“I bet Kingsport could pull it off,” John said. 

She barked out a laugh, “you greatly underestimate how much money we have. If we took on Salem it would require us to start pinching caps, and I doubt anyone has any desire to do that. They’re too accustomed to their cushy life.”

“For a bit, but you guys get that market up and running, you’ll be swimming in caps. Give yourself a reason to stop doing water deliveries, make people come to you instead.”

Tommy’s brows pinched in consideration, his mind working. “We could extend the farmland. Start growing foods for profit. I wouldn’t mind hunting a bit more.”

“You guys already make your own weapons, I’m sure you could get a good armory up over here. A restaurant. A school. You could go all out. Put DC to shame. Wouldn’t be a terrible thing for the Jewel of the Commonwealth to lose a bit of its sparkle.”

“Well shit John, if you’re so into the idea, why don’t you turn this into your passion project. You could make yourself mayor.”

The thought nearly made him gag. “Hard pass, love. I’m not meant to be in one place for long. Besides you’re the one who's been reared for leadership.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have a job, I don’t have time to pour myself into something like that and keep the caravan going. We wouldn’t be able to pay for all those materials. We'd have to scavenge what we can and our go-to spots are running thin as is. We wouldn’t be able to keep the settlement running and take on something like this.”

“I know some spots. They’re a bitch to get to, so they’re loaded with materials. Already know my way in and out safely. I could show you.”

That piqued her interest. Suddenly her attention was focused solely on him, like the other two had faded into the background. She had the same look in her eye that he’d seen her get when she’d discussed business. For some reason, he found himself very intrigued by the idea of being involved in a negotiation with her. It was exciting.

“How about this? I help you strip out the places I know. Once we clear those, I'll scope out some other spots while you get back to the caravan. I’ll find enough spots to keep you with a steady supply. In return, you let me drink free at your bar and give me a bed to crash in when I go a bit too hard.”

He didn’t need much. Didn’t really like staying in one spot for too long anyways, but the idea of an extended stay in her town didn’t sound all that bad.

For a moment she looked like she was going to take him up on his offer, but her interest faded away and she shook her head. “That’s asking too much.”

“No it’s not. I wouldn’t mind taking you around. I think we’d have fun.”

“I’m sure we would, but I can’t just ditch the caravan for weeks at a time. We need to keep caps coming in.”

“Tommy could handle it.”

“What about me,” Rory cut in, his face pinched in offense.

Tommy snorted and turned away from Rory, shielding him from the amused grin he couldn’t contain. John gave him a tight lipped smile while Kate gently patted his shoulder.

“Absolutely not,” she said sweetly.

Rory was a great guy, but he was prone to, well, being a fucking shithead at times. It was part of why John liked him so much. Rory was the epitome of young, wild, and free. 

“Fuck you guys,” he quipped as he returned to his beer. “Someone just build me a goddamn bar.”

“Keep dreaming kid,” Kate replied, “no way my father is ever gonna front the caps for that.”

Over the years, that same conversation had come up time and time again, until one day they had the entire town re-worked in their heads. Eventually they’d chipped away at Kate until even she was on board with the idea.  One night she’d taken the chance of running it by Eaton at dinner. Apparently, the guy had laughed so hard he’d choked on his dinner. Kate had to give him back blows when his face started turning blue. She dropped it after that. Had considered nearly killing her father a sign from the universe that Salem wasn’t meant to be.

John had a hard time understanding his reluctance. Done right, Salem would make them a boatload of caps. Sure they’d have to make some sacrifices for a while, but it would give everyone an opportunity to start earning some caps of their own. Maybe that was the issue though. If the settlers could make their own money, they’d be less dependent on him.

“I can’t believe Eaton agreed to this,” John marveled as they made their way through town. His mind transformed the buildings to their future glory before his very eyes.

“He didn’t. Not really. She blindsided him at the emergency settlement meeting he’d called earlier. He’d just finished telling everyone we were out of trade partners when she stood up and announced ‘his’ big plan to save the town.”

“Was he pissed?”

“How could he be,” Tommy asked with a shrug. “She did it in a way that made him look like a hero. People were too excited. They were chanting his damn name. He couldn’t say no to it. If anything he looked a little sad.”

“Why?”

“Who knows. You know how those two are. They leave a lot left unsaid in public. Not like she gave him the opportunity to discuss it after. She went back to her place to wait for you to come home. Was supposed to fill you in on the details before the fire, but you didn’t show.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. He’d meant to get there earlier, but he’d gotten hung up on a job the night before. Took him longer to get back to Goodneighbor to see Clyde than he’d intended. When he got to Kingsport she was nowhere to be found and the party was in full swing outside. Naturally he wallowed in self pity in her bed while he got wrecked. “I shouldn’t have gone off on her like that.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. She wasn’t exactly in a good mood. She’s still working through the psycho. I bet after a good night's rest she’ll understand.”

“Doesn’t mean I should have taken it as far as I did.”

“Well the chems make you both act like fucking idiots, and she knows that. Thankfully she’s just as hopelessly in love with you as you are with her. She’s not gonna let one fight ruin that.”

“Hey! Who’s out there,” a gruff voice called out into the night.

The pair froze and looked up to find Barney Rook standing before his old lawn chair in his open air attic, peering at them through the sight of his shotgun.

“Sorry Barney,” Tommy shouted with his arms up in the air. “Didn’t mean to bother you this late, just taking a walk.”

Barney grunted as he shifted his sight off of Tommy. The hair stood up on the back of John’s neck as the old kook shifted his aim directly at his head.

“McDonough,” he spat, “if you think you’re gonna rip me from my home the way your brother did to those ghouls, you’re in for a world of hurt.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it Barney,” John replied with his hands up as a sickening feeling churned in his gut, “we’re just walking.”

Barney narrowed his eyes on him. “I don’t want any funny business from you.”

“I promise, I don’t want any trouble.”

He narrowed his eyes at John, considering him for a moment. John’s heart hammered in his chest as he waited for Barney to lower his weapon, still as a fucking statue. That man had lost enough in his life that he ran off pure instinct at this point. Made him really dangerous if he didn’t like you. John had never experienced the ire of Barney Rook first hand. They’d always been friendly, but it seemed his brother's actions had changed that. It was something he was struggling to get used to. There were a lot of people who felt he was guilty by association.

“Fine then,” he replied after several achingly long seconds. He sat back in his lawn chair and kicked his feet up on an old cooler. “You’re lucky you got Tommy with you, or I woulda shot you dead where you stand.”

Tommy opened his mouth to presumably defend John, just as he always did, but John gave him a subtle shake of his head. Didn’t matter how much Tommy vouched for him, words weren't going to fix the mess his brother had made of his reputation.

“Have a good night Barney,” John called up. If they stuck around any longer, he was sure Barney would chastise him for his brother's sins. That was the way it always went.

The pair headed down the road in silence as the cycle John had found himself stuck in set into full motion.

He fought against the bile that crept up his throat as the phantom scent of blood filled his nostrils. It had been so strong in DC that night. So much so that when he’d stepped out into the Fens, which usually smelled of raw sewage, the lungful of air he took in felt fresh and clean. 

Then the screaming started. Dread filled his chest as the cries, the ones he couldn’t seem to drown out without chems, echoed around in his skull. The most prominent were always Rosie’s tiny whimpers of pain when he’d picked up her broken body from the drainage culvert she’d found refuge in. When he first found her, he was sure she was dead.

“I’m sorry, Rosie,” he’d whispered as brushed some dirt from her face. Then her eyes fluttered open and he could see the terror there. At first, he didn’t even know what to do with her. She was in such bad shape, sneaking her out seemed impossible, but he couldn’t just leave her. A stimpak had given her enough strength to cling to his neck as he carried her through the blood soaked streets. He’d tried to hold her head to his chest as they passed her husband, Mark, but she looked anyway. He’d never forget the way she’d barely been able to bite back the sobs when she saw his body. Security had beaten him so badly, his skull had caved in.

“Why did Jimmy do this?”

Rosie and Mark had always been kind to him. On the nights when John hadn’t been around to drag his ass home from the bar, they would make sure he was safely locked back in their apartment. There weren’t many people who showed Jimmy kindness like Rosie and Mark did. 

“I don’t know, Rosie. I’m so sorry.” What else was he supposed to say to that? Even after weeks of ruminating, he couldn’t workout the why in all of this.

The pain he’d inflicted on her, both physically and mentally before her death, had been inhumane. She’d been so strong, tried to cling to the last sliver of life she had, but no one could have survived that blast after what she’d gone through. The fact that Kate did…it was nothing short of a miracle. The feeling that washed over him as the image of her flying through the air filled his mind was indescribable. Unlike anything he’d ever experienced. As he watched her smack down onto the ground, her head bounce off the pavement before she went completely still, he’d made peace with that being his end as well. He’d sit there, holding her body tightly until the Gunners put him out of his misery. After everything he’d lost, if he didn’t have her, what was the fucking point?

“Hey man,” Tommy said, drawing him from where he was trapped inside his head. “You okay? You don’t look so good.”

John looked around to find they’d made their way down to the docks. Water lapped at the petrified posts. A couple scraggly gulls slept atop the old boathouse. The blackness of night melted into the ocean. If it weren’t for the moon’s reflection shining bright against the caps of the waves, it would have looked as dark as the places the jet would take him to hide in.

He wiped the sweat that prickled his brow with the back of his hand. It didn't matter how chilly it was, when the memories came back he always felt like he was in a sauna. If he had to guess, he probably was as white as a sheet. He sucked in a sharp breath, trying to slow his heart rate, but it was no use. He needed jet. Desperately.

“I’m gonna head out. I gotta get back to the city,” he rasped.

“What? Dude, you gotta be ready to go for Monday. We gotta get a move on this plan if we’re going to make it through winter. You can’t leave now. You got a whole detox to get through before then.”

“No man, that’s not gonna work.”

“Yes it will.”

“No it fucking won’t. I can’t keep her safe out there with this shit haunting me.”

“You need to talk about it.”

Tommy had been begging him since that night to open up about it, but he couldn’t for so many reasons. Not only did he want to spare Tommy the pain of knowing how truly horrible their friends’ deaths had been, but he didn’t think he had the strength to utter the words aloud. 

“I can’t,” he grunted as he pushed past Tommy, determined to make his way back to Goodneighbor to re-up. He didn’t make it but a few feet before Tommy grabbed him by the shoulder and tried pulling him back.

“Tommy, let go,” he growled as he tried to shove out of his hold, but Tommy was on strong motherfucker.

“No,” he shouted as he stepped in front of him, blocking his exit. “You’re not taking off on us again. We need you.”

“I’ll leave you a list of locations to scavenge. You guys can handle it on your own.”

“It’s not about the fucking parts! We need you. For years we’ve watched you do this and it’s gone too far. You aren’t bouncing back like you usually do. You’re going to kill yourself if you keep this up.”

“You’ll all be fine.”

Tommy’s face twisted in anguish. “That’s not true at all.”

“I will not make your lives any easier. I can’t be a part of this, no matter how much I want to. I’ve already brought enough trouble to Kingsport. How are those people ever going to be able to trust me?”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“Because all anyone sees when they look at me is Mayor McDonough! They see a ticking time bomb. Someone who might wake up one day and turn on them just like he did to the ghouls.”

That had not been something he’d been prepared for. The looks. The judgement. He hadn’t expected when he walked out of DC that night, he would be walking out with a new identity. His brother had left a shadow over him that he just couldn’t escape.

“They’ll learn that you are nothing like him.”

“Who’s to say? Maybe I am. I mean shit, I didn’t see this coming from Jimmy and I knew him better than anyone. Maybe it’s in our blood. Maybe there’s just something wrong about the McDonoughs.  Maybe one day I’ll snap too.”

“That won’t happen. You two are not the same.”

“How can you be so sure of that,” he bit out, his nose flaring.

“John, I know you and I know Jimmy. You two are not the same. You could never do what he did.”

His jaw ticked as he stared into Tommy’s eyes. Despite what Tommy said, he could see unease there. Just like he could see it in Kate’s eyes when she would go on one of her tangents about Jimmy. It felt like she was screaming at whatever darkness lived inside him, just as it did his brother. 

“Talk to me,” Tommy begged. “Tell me what’s going on in your head right now.”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, I do,” he said with desperation in his voice.

There flurry of pain and guilt that swam in his head was at an all time high. Without the chems, he felt his grip on his temper slip.

“I fucking miss him,” he snapped. “After all the horrifying shit he’s done, I fucking miss him . After he murdered our friends. After what he did nearly stole Kate from me. Even though he continues to torture her, all of you, a fucked up part of me wants him back!”

Tommy sighed. “He’s your brother–”

“No he’s fucking not,” he shouted as tears breached the rim of his eyes. “That’s not the Jimmy I know, but I still can’t let him go!”

“What he has become doesn’t erase the person he was. It doesn’t erase the life you shared, and it shouldn’t. You’ve been through enough, at least let yourself have those happy memories.”

“Stop acting like I’m some victim in this!”

“Stop acting like you’re not. You were ran out of that town just like they were.”

“I left. There’s a difference.”

“You know it’s not safe for you there anymore. The life you knew was stolen from you simply because you did the right thing. You can’t even go a couple hours without putting yourself in a coma to escape it.”

As the emotions swirled inside him, the screams grew louder. Those memories always seemed to get stronger the more worked up he got. It was maddening.

“I don’t know how to make this stop.”

“You just gotta let yourself feel it. You can’t keep trying to drown it out.”

“I don’t know how.”

“Just let go, buddy. I got you.”

Letting go was not something he knew how to do. For years he’d taken every bit of pain and suffering he’d experienced and shoved it away in a cage inside his mind. There was so much trapped in there.

Life hadn’t been kind to him. Right from the very start. Born to parents who had no right to bear children, let alone two. They weren’t bad people, but they weren’t good parents. Unable to deal with the trauma of their own lives, they found comfort in chems. The ole’ McDonough tried and true coping mechanism. Jimmy and John found themselves alone a lot. Terrified of who or what was creeping outside their shack. There were plenty of nights where shit would go down outside and they’d huddle up together under a blanket. As if that would have kept them safe. 

Despite their parents’ flaws, he still loved them and their passing wasn’t something he ever fully recovered from. For years after, he’d ambled through life. Pretended like he was free, but he was a prisoner to his own mind. For a while, he did a damn good job at ignoring that fact. Played it fast and loose, drowning his misfortunes in chems and pussy.

Sex seemed to be the one thing he was naturally talented at. Making women feel good had done something for him. Gave him a rush past some masculine ego boost. It wasn’t long before he was chasing that feeling to the point he grew numb to it, and just like he’d done with the chems, he just kept chasing it. Multiple times a day if he could, which didn’t seem all the difficult for him. 

Day in and day out he’d found himself in a nearly constant state of partying. Surrounded by women and chems. By the time he’d met Kate, he’d been ready for the grim reaper to come take him away, but she breathed new life into his soul. It didn’t take long for him to realize he loved her. How could he not? She was special. A soul too good to possibly exist on this godforsaken planet, but here nonetheless, and he had somehow been given the privilege to know her. 

Little did he know that life would keep her at arms length from him for years. Like a carrot dangling before a starving brahmin. She’d pull him in, show him sides of her that few others had known, then without any explanation she’d push him away. He wouldn’t have taken that shit from anyone, but he loved her too much to walk away.

To ease his aching heart, he’d turn back to chems and sex. Pretend like he didn’t love her while he buried himself in someone who couldn’t hold a candle to her. He’d be lying if he said that in those moments, higher than a fucking kite and heartbroken, he hadn’t hope she’d hear of his escapades. There was a toxicity to him that he wasn’t proud of. 

Eventually, Tommy would come find him. Pull him out of whatever shit hole he’d been rotting in, take care of him while he detoxed. The guilt that came with the clarity of his mind somehow seemed worse than any of the physical symptoms of detox.

Tommy had always been so encouraging in those moments. There’d been so much he did during those benders that he’d never judged him for. Things he could never tell Kate. 

To keep up the amount of chems he would do, he had done some fucked up shit. It started small. Transporting chems mainly. But when he’d started accruing some hefty debt with dealers, the jobs became a little more intense. Shakedowns. Sometimes worse. The people John went after weren’t good. They probably deserved it. The Commonwealth was safer without them, but John didn’t feel it was his place to take a life all the same.

Kate had pressed him on what he did for “work”. When he wasn’t in the thick of it, he just floated through life. Didn’t need a job, could get himself what he needed to survive easy enough, but he was always evasive about how he fueled his binges. She knew, he could tell, but she was too sweet to push him.

To think, after all those years waiting, he finally had her, all to throw it away because…because he couldn’t handle hearing what she needed to vent about. It wasn’t her fault that Jimmy had become what he had. Wasn’t her fault his brother was a piece of shit determined to make her life hell. Her moments of frustration he’d convinced himself were a personal attack on his family, seemed so far from that now that he was really thinking about it. Was he not the person she should have been able to bare her soul to? He was. He knew that, but he’d been too wrapped up in his own self pity to see that.

If he wasn’t being honest with himself, the shit he’d seen in DC had put him over the edge. They didn’t fit in that cage where he’d shove all the things that made him feel bad. What Jimmy had done to those people had that cage bursting at the damn seams. The memories had slipped through the rungs and wreaked havoc on his life. The bars bowed out, but the latch remained firmly locked shut.

If only he could unlock that cage, set those memories free. All of them. Maybe he could have a fresh start. 

In desperation, he knelt before the cage, his hands clasped before him, pleading.

“Please. Just open up.”

But the cage remained firmly locked.

“I just want to move on.”

Nothing.

“Don’t I deserve better than this?”

Do you?

Did he? He’d done a lot wrong, but were his sins warranting of this hell he’d been living in? The sad reality of this world was it demanded the worst from people. It dragged you through the dirt, along jagged rocks, and forced you to do things you weren’t proud of just to survive. Did that make him a bad person? Would a bad person feel the guilt as heavily as he did?

Probably not. 

There were a lot of things John liked about himself. He thought he was kind, funny. He’d take the shirt off his back and give it to another if that’s what they needed. He didn’t understand why others couldn’t be like that. It wasn’t difficult to not be a piece of shit. It didn’t make him special, but it counted for something. Right?

There were a lot of things he felt he could accomplish in his life if he just had the chance. He’d always dreamed of a better Commonwealth. There were a lot of good people here who deserved that. He’d never had the chance to make that change happen, but in Salem, he just might.

For once, he stood a chance at being the person he wanted to be, he just had to let himself have it.

“I deserve a chance.”

POP. POP.

The lock that held that cage tight splintered. The door swung open and John was hit with a wave of emotion unlike anything he’d ever felt. Pain, suffering, love, loss. Hope.

Suddenly he was back in Salem, standing on the dock. Before him stood Tommy, looking at something over his shoulder.

John sucked in a ragged breath as those feelings seemed to explode through his chest. Tommy’s gaze snapped back to him, his eyes went wide as he took in the frantic look on John’s face.

“Woah, you don’t look good,” he said as he held out a hand to steady John.

His breath seemed uncatchable as the memories raced through his mind. He couldn’t keep it in any longer. He didn’t want to.

“Tommy, what happened in DC, was so fucking terrible,” he rasped.

Tommy’s face twisted in anguish, like he was feeling John’s pain. He opened his mouth, but suddenly they were engulfed in an orange glow. 

It was as if the sun had suddenly risen, the entire land caught in its light. Even the waves glowed. 

BAM.

Their heads snapped towards Kingsport. There they found the source of the light. Flames reached high up into the sky, far too big to be just from a bonfire. No this was far greater than a party gone wild. 

Without a word, he and Tommy took off in a mad sprint towards Kingsport. Little did he know he was running towards the events that would steal everything he loved from him and change the course of his life forever. 

Chapter Text

John’s mind was heavy with the weight of his memories. The closer they got to the flames that consumed Kingsport, the more torturous they became. He tried desperately to quiet his mind, but he was too deep into the crash out and too far removed from his last hit of jet for him to get a full lock on it. It had been weeks since he’d gone this long without taking something. His fingers twitched around the trigger of his pistol. A cool sweat beaded across his brow. Anxiety and withdrawal drifted together to create a fog that dulled his senses. 

It was the last thing he needed going into this. Whatever the fuck this was. At best, this was an out of control house fire, but he knew that was wishful thinking. The fire was far too large to be a single burning home. Worst case scenario, the exact thing Kate had been so worried about for weeks had become a reality. In vain he begged the universe not to let that be true. He’d just barely managed to shove his spiraling thoughts back into that cage he’d foolishly freed them from when the north gate came into view.

The guard post loomed ominously. Just hours ago, it echoed with laughter. Now only silence lingered, broken by the crackle of flames. The once too jovial guards lay sprawled in the road, their bodies still. Their smiles erased, replaced by the cold mask of death. 

“Where’s Rory,” Tommy asked, his voice panicked. 

Their eyes darted around the area frantically searching for their friend. A pit formed in his stomach when his eyes landed on a pair of feet sticking out from behind a boulder a few yards ahead. 

“Over here,” he shouted as he sprinted towards the boulder. The threat of grief dragged down his chest like a jagged knife, the anticipation alone agony. Rory’s laugh, melodic and full of life echoed in his mind. A sound that he’d give anything to hear just one more time. As he rounded the boulder he braced himself for the violent stab to the heart, but it never came. The body that laid below him was too stocky, too short. The spindly strands of hair were far too dark to be Rory’s auburn waves. Relief fluttered inside him, but the crash of a wall crumbling down to ash as the flames consumed it was a cruel reminder of all he still stood to lose.

Tommy rolled the body with his boot to reveal a bullet hole right between his eyes. A far quicker death than he deserved. “You recognize him?”

“One of Vic’s thugs,” John spat as the reality of what had gone down here fully sank in. “Kate was right.”

“This doesn’t make sense. Vic isn’t motivated enough for something like this,” Tommy whispered.

“Fuck motivation,” John hissed, his eyes wide with anger. “That motherfucker wanted to watch this place burn, and she knew that. We should have listened to her.”

Ever since that night in Goodneighbor, the ironclad armor of confidence she wore had begun to crack. At first, her concerns felt reasonable, but as the weeks passed, they twisted into something darker. Paranoia.

“John, I’m serious, something is off,” she said as she leaned back on the counter with a cup of coffee in her hand. 

John stepped out of their bedroom and pulled down his worn hoodie over his head. Sleep still clung to the corners of his eyes. The sun had just started peaking over the horizon and their fleeting moment of peace was quickly coming to an end. Like always, Kate had somewhere else to be. The caravan had to get back on the road and she still needed to go collect Rory and Tommy from the settlement below. After nearly walking in on them weeks prior they’d seemed a little less into the idea of crashing on the couch than they once were. 

“I hear what you’re saying, but I’m telling you, Vic is too lazy to bother,” he replied as he stepped up beside her and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Unless you bring the fight to his front door, he ain’t doin’ shit.”

She rested her hand down on the counter and leaned into him closer. Her coffee steamed away in her other hand. “Slade is following me.”

“He’s fucking with you. He and Vic are probably getting a kick out of how twitchy it makes you.”

She huffed out a sigh as she abandoned her untouched coffee and pushed herself up onto the counter. Her shoulders thumped against the cabinets as she turned her attention to reddened skin around her thumbnail and started picking away at the thin layer of skin that had just barely regrown. 

“Are you sure you haven’t heard anything,” she mumbled. 

He’d been keeping an ear out for any rumors that Vic was up to something, but that guy wasn’t up to jack shit.

“Not a word, love.” 

That should have brought her some relief, but she pursed her lips and dug at her skin even harder. A well of blood filled her cuticle. If she kept that shit up, she was bound to lose a finger to infection one of these days.

John stepped between her legs. When she didn’t take her eyes off her hands, he set his coffee down on the counter and took her face into his. Reluctantly she shifted her eyes to his.

“I promise you, there is nothing to worry about. Vic is spending his nights pouring liquor down his gullet at a rate that I’m sure will kill his liver sometime in the next decade and things in Goodneighbor are as lowly as usual. Not a damn hint of ambition from any of them. There is nothing to be worried about. Kingsport is too much of a walk for any of them and even if they pooled all their brain cells together, they’d never come up with a plan to move on you guys fast enough without someone tipping you off.”

“Okay,” she replied softly, but the worry was still etched into her features.

“Can you please stop worrying? All you’re doing is driving yourself crazy and feeding into their games. I promise if I hear even a peep from Goodneighbor, I will run straight to Kingsport and keep you safe.”

Her face pinched in disgust as she shoved him away. “I don’t need you to keep me safe, I just want to be sure I’m ready for when he finally comes for me. I want to look him square in the eyes when I pull that trigger.”

“Big talk, Princess,” he teased as he leaned on the counter beside her and returned to his coffee. 

“I told you, don’t call me that.” Her eyes narrowed. “And what? I’ve killed plenty of people.”

“I ain’t saying you haven’t. Alls I’m saying is there’s a big difference between popping a guy in the head from 5 feet away and putting one straight between his eyes at point blank range. That shit ain’t easy.”

“I could do it.”

“I’m sure you could,” he replied, completely unconvinced. Kate might have been scrappy, but she had too big of a heart to be capable of that.

A line formed between her brows. “You know, you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Oh yeah, you moonlighting as an assassin now?”

“Fuck you,” she spat as she slipped off the counter and headed for the door. 

He grabbed her wrist. “Hey, I got time for another round if you’re offering. You’re the one running off on me again.”

“I suggest not patronizing me if you want to get me into bed again.”

“Okay, okay,” he said as he hooked his finger under her chin and tipped her up for a kiss. One she barely returned. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that,” she whispered.

“Do what?”

With a huff she pushed her way from his hold again. “Don’t act like I’m fucking crazy!”

“I’m not!”

“You are,” she snapped, “all of you are! If I’m right, which I absolutely am, I need you to take this seriously.”

“Hey, hey,” he said, voice low, hands out like he was trying to soothe a startled animal. “I swear, I don’t think you’re crazy. I get why you’re worried, but I promise, there isn’t anything to worry about.”

She didn’t respond. Just looked at him, eyes hollow and distant. Not angry. Not sad. Just…done.

And somehow, that was worse than any words.

“Hey!” Tommy snapped his fingers in John’s face.

He blinked away the memory, but the guilt stayed. Kate had warned him. Fuck she begged him to take her seriously and he’d brushed it off with a cocky half smile and a promise he had no business making.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yeah,” he lied. 

Tommy sighed. “You’re in no shape for this right now. Go back to Salem. I’ll come find you after.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I’m not sitting around doing nothing. Kate is in there and I’m going to find her.”

“You go in there like this you’re gonna get yourself killed. No, you go back. Now.”

“I am not leaving her,” he snapped, desperation clawing at his throat. “She’s all I have, I can’t just walk away!”