Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*woop

*woop

"Ugh," Harry rolls over, grabbing his phone. He had been peacefully sleeping in 12 Grimmauld Place once it had been cleaned up a bit.

After the abrupt, but necessary, departure during the escape from the ministry with the locket, it had been ransacked a bit but mostly left alone after it was obvious that there wasn't any information on where they could have gone. Bellatrix must have done the ransacking along with Narcissa because Sirius's room was completely trashed with all sorts of spells whereas most everywhere else was only lightly ransacked. Only those two because with the family magics on the building it wouldn't have let anyone else in.

It had taken about 2 day's worth of cleaning to get everything set to rights, well enough to move back in anyways, most of which was spent on cleaning out Sirius's room and fixing it as nothing was salvageable. Harry had replaced and repainted everything in the room to better suit his tastes only having to buy the paint because there had been a bunch of furniture stored in some of the vaults he had.

Yes, you heard correctly, vaults.

That's why it took 2 days, the cleaning, cleaning out, refurnishing, and painting only really took about a half day itself. Everything else was dealing with the Goblins. They sent him a message that arrived right after he had finished cleaning everything up and cleaning out Sirius's room. 

*Flashback*

~~~~~

Dear Harry James Potter,

We the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to first and foremost apologize for the gross mishandling of your assets. Upon setting up an audit of all our accounts, we were quite displeased when we found out what exactly you needed to retrieve from the Lestrange's vault as we would not allow such a cursed thing to be near us under normal circumstances, we came across the matter that you had not gotten sent any of the normal account statements, nor gotten the summons to accept your Heirships nor Lordships when you should have. 

The perpetrators of this, Griphook, Hutvess, Nagnok, Snaglok, and Uisx are, fortunately for them, dead otherwise they would have gotten the punishment they deserve for such an egregious misconduct.

Secondly, the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to thank you for all that you have done for us. Getting rid of that foul piece of magic from our midst and taking down the one that made it who has slaughtered many a goblin. We also acknowledge that, while if you had notified us of the existence of the foul thing, we would have handed it over to you immediately for removal or let you watch as we destroyed it, you didn't know as such and thus acted within the most logical manner possible. And although you did cause massive property damage and the loss of a dragon guardian, we are willing to accept the losses to a warrior such as yourself that has rid our world of such evil.

However, this leaves the matter of claiming your rightful Lordships and settling things with your account. We must insist that you come as soon as possible to rectify these matters.

Sincerely,

Ragnrok

President Ragnrok of Gringotts Bank

~~~~~

It took him 3 times reading it to fully comprehend what was written.

First, Gringotts did an audit of all accounts, because it was proved that things were in one that they didn't like.

Second, he should have gotten mail and summons from Gringotts before.

Third, Harry would spit on Griphook's grave if he ever got the chance, that conniving bastard! Bad enough Griphook betrayed them for Gryffindor's sword, but this? This is just the cherry on the top.

Fourth, apparently Gringotts isn't actually mad at them for the destruction and loss of the dragon, they're too thankful about the destruction of the horcrux and Voldemort who made it. Which, now that he thinks about it, is mildly concerning. Goblins are never thankful.

In the end, he needs to go to Gringotts anyways. He ran out of money while on the run and needed funds for new furniture and paint for Sirius's room that he planned to claim.

When he gets to Gringotts the goblins guarding the entrance stop him.

"Gringotts Bank is closed for auditing. Only those with official business are allowed." The guard on the right states gruffly.

"Uh, yeah, that makes sense," thank God he thought to bring the letter, "um, would a summons to come as soon as possible count as official business?" Harry asks as he pulls out the letter to show the guards.

"Mister Potter," they gave a shallow bow as they step aside to let him in, "apologies, yes, that would indeed count as official business. Show it to one of our people inside and they will be able to lead you to where you need to go."

"Alright, um, thank you." He says as he enters Gringotts, missing the surprise on the guards faces at being thanked.

Once Harry got inside, he showed the letter to the nearest goblin who beckoned another goblin over and told them something. Though, seeing as he didn't know the goblin's language, he had no clue what was being said.

"Mister Potter, if you wouldn't mind following me, I will take you to the meeting room that you need to go to." Said the goblin that was beckoned over.

"Alright."

He was awed by the meeting room once they had made their way through the neat and decadent halls. It had a burgundy rug that sat upon the polished stone floor. On top of that was an ornate mahogany desk with 2 leather armchairs facing it. Behind the desk sat a goblin dressed somehow even more impeccably than they normally do in a wingback chair.

"Ah, Mister Potter, that was quick. Come in and take a seat." The goblin gestures to the leather chairs in front of him.

Harry walks over and chooses the chair on the right that still allows a view of the door, he may or may not be traumatized.

"Right now, let's get to business, I am President Ragnrok. I assume that you most likely don't know anything about your assets."

"That would be correct President Ragnrok."

"Hmm, then the first order of business should be that we do an inheritance test." Ragnrok decides pulling open several drawers and taking various items out. "The way we do an inheritance test is that we pour a potion into a bowl. Then we add 3 drops of the blood of the person taking the test to the bowl, although sometimes magic will call for more, you will feel that instinctively if so. Then the blood is stirred 3 times counterclockwise and pour it onto a magically prepped piece of parchment. Please prick your finger with this needle," he says while starting the process and handing Harry a needle.

Harry pricks his finger and holds it over the bowl of potion for 1, 2, 3, it doesn't feel right yet, 4, 5, 6, 7, now it feels right, and he withdraws his hand. 'Pft, of course it's 7 drops, what did I expect,' Harry thinks watching the blood get stirred into the potion and then the potion be poured onto the parchment.

"Interesting, last time someone required 7 drops of blood was Merlin, usually it's 5 drops at most," hummed an interested Ragnrok while the parchment started getting saturated by words and magically expanding longer and longer.

"What?" Harry's head snaps up in shock, "You know what? Why am I even surprised at this point?" He asks as he throws his hands up in exasperation. "Also is it supposed to be that long?"

"It will stop once it has found all of what is yours by blood, magic, conquest, and bequeathing. It also tells you all of your titles, abilities, and magic strength/type. Look, it's slowing down now, it must be close to finished," Ragnrok points as the paper stops expanding and the writing slows to a stop. He picks up the parchment, "Let's see now, oh my! That is quite the list and that's only the titles. Here, why don't you take a look?" Ragnrok says as he hands the results over.

~~~~~

Inheritance Results of Harrison (Harry) James Potter:

Paternal Relative:

James Fleamont Potter (deceased)

Maternal Relative:

Lily Jade Potter Nee Evans (deceased)

Godparents:

Sirius Orian Black (illegally incarcerated) (deceased)

Alice Marie Longbottom Nee Fortescue (incapacitated)

Magical Guardian:

Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore (illegal) (deceased)

Titles:

Prophecies Chosen

The-Boy-Who-Lived

Basilisk Slayer

Horcrux Destroyer

Time Traveler

Tri-Wizard Champion

The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice

Master of Death

Dark Lord Slayer

Goblin Friend

Abilities:

Natural Animagus (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)

Natural Occlumens (85% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.; 15% unblocked by S.T.S. and H.J.P.)

Natural Legilimens (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)

Parselmagic (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)

Eidetic Memory (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)

Magic:

Platinum/Grey

~~~~~

The room begins shaking with Harry's suppressed rage. "President Ragnrok, you mentioned that you are able to get rid of certain types of magic?"

"Yes," Ragnrok answers carefully, "Is there some magic that showed up that upsets you?"

"Yes, because ALBUS PERCIVAL WOLFRIC BRIAN FUCKING DUMBLEDORE decided to put blocks on my magical abilities!" Harry shouts while shoving the test back toward Ragnrok, "That's not even the worst part though! He was my magical guardian illegally!"

"I see, yes I do believe we can get a cleansing ritual done to remove the blocks." Ragnrok plans while handing the test back.

"Good," Harry states as he calms down enough that the room stops shaking and he's able to start asking questions. "Also, what does a Platinum/Grey magic mean?"

"Platinum is the strength of your magic. It goes from the weakest, which is bronze, to silver, to gold, to the strongest which is platinum. Of course, the last person to have Platinum magic is Merlin. Grey is the type of magic you have, you either have light, grey, or dark. Light is where your magic leans more towards light spells, it's hard to do dark spells, and dark is the opposite. Grey on the other hand is able to use both light and dark magic equally."

"So basically, I'm overpowered."

Ragnrok snorts, "That's one way to see it."

"Also how much do you want for the cleansing ritual?"

"It's on me, also you're Goblin Friend, we'd do it for you for free anyways," Ragnrok waves him off. 

"What does being Goblin Friend mean exactly?" Harry asks, narrowing his eyes.

"It means that we treat you like a respected goblin, therefore all health care, like the ritual, is free. You might be asked to be a go-between for the Goblin Nation and other cultures, and you might be asked other questions as well," Ragnrok explains.

"Alright, then. I guess I'll read the rest and hope I don't come across anything too surprising." Harry says relaxing slightly and turning to the test again.

~~~~~

Lordships:

Blood inheritances:

Lord Potter (Paternal)

Magic inheritances:

Lord Gryffindor (Paternal)

Lord Peverel (Paternal)

Lord Emrys (Maternal)

Lord Pendragon (Maternal)

Lord Ravenclaw (Maternal)

Lord Hufflepuff (Maternal)

Lord Hogwarts (Has all 4 Lordships)

Conquest inheritances:

Lord Slytherin (T.M.R.)

Lord Gaunt (T.M.R.)

Bequeathal inheritances:

Lord Black (S.O.B.)

Vaults:

Blood inheritances:

Potter vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 trust, 1 family)

Magic inheritances:

Gryffindor vaults (1 family)

Peverel vaults (3 vaults)

Emrys vaults (1 family)

Pendragon vaults (1 family)

Ravenclaw vaults (1 family, 1 item)

Hufflepuff vaults (1 family)

Hogwarts vaults (1 item)

Conquest inheritances:

Slytherin vaults (1 family)

Gaunt vaults (1 family)

Bequeathal inheritances:

Black vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 book, 1 family)

13 misc. vaults from random families

Properties:

Blood inheritances:

Potter (2)

Magic inheritances:

Gryffindor (1)

Peverel (3)

Emrys (1)

Pendragon (2)

Ravenclaw (2)

Hufflepuff (3)

Hogwarts (1)

Conquest inheritances:

Slytherin (1)

Gaunt (2)

Bequeathal inheritances:

Black (2)

6 misc. properties from random families

~~~~~

"What are the Emrys and Pendragon inheritances and what does being Lord Hogwarts mean for me, other than the obvious stated? Also why am I surprised that my mother was somehow related to half of Hogwarts and these other two?" Harry asked sliding the test back over for Ragnrok to look at the lordships and other inheritances.

"Oh ho, well now you having the power level and needing the same amount of blood as Merlin makes a bit more sense. Merlin was also known as Emrys by the druids, and seeing as most common folk back then didn't have last names, he took Emrys to be his last name when he became a well-known figure, so we get Merlin Emrys. The Pendragon inheritance comes from around the same time period, it's from King Arthur Pendragon who attempted to bring about a time of peace between the magic and non-magic people.

As for being Lord Hogwarts, you can just use that rather than writing all 4 lordships out, and it naturally means that you technically own Hogwarts and the vault that is used for the upkeeping of Hogwarts. And for your mother being related to all these figures it would make sense that all of these lines had squibs eventually and while the main families died out the bloodline still survived in the normal families until all 4 bloodlines came together causing a powerful muggle-born to be born," explained Ragnrok while taking out several new sheets of paper, writing notes, and sending them to all of the goblins that oversee each of the lordships to come to the meeting room with the lordship rings.

"Well that's just peachy. I don't suppose I could keep being Lord Hogwarts a secret, could I?"

"Unfortunately, no, you have to oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep. They must seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds from you. Currently you would have to send a letter stating it's okay for Hogwarts to keep being a school and that all of the rebuilding is okay.

On a separate note, I've sent notes to each of the overseers of the inheritances that you've gained, so that they bring the lordship rings. Luckily for you some of the lordships have the same overseer so you only have to deal with 5 overseers rather than 11. The Hogwarts and related lordships have the same overseer, the Potter and Peverel have the same overseer, the Emrys and Pendragon have the same overseer, while the Black and Gaunt each have their own overseer."

"The one thing that's going right today I guess," Harry sighed, leaning back into the chair to wait for the overseers of the lordships.

Soon enough there was a knock upon the door before it opened to reveal a rather cross looking goblin holding 4 different notes in one hand and a bag of boxes in the other slung over his shoulder.

"President Ragnrok," he said with a short bow before straightening up quickly, "care to tell me why I got 4 different notes pertaining to 9 different lordships all under my purview?" 

"Ah apologies, Overseer Rokrag. It slipped my mind that the Potter and Peverel overseer as well as the Black and Gaunt overseers were among the ones killed and as such the vaults were handed over to your oversight, along with your original oversight of the Hogwarts and associated lordships. Although in such circumstances that may be more beneficial."

"I guess that kind of makes my life even easier. I only have to deal with 2 overseers as opposed to the 5 you initially said." Harry joked towards the two goblins.

Rokrag gave a deep chuckle at that, "Of course the one with all these lordships would be one Harry Potter."

A softer knock came from the door before opening up to a fairly young-looking goblin holding two boxes under one arm and a letter.

"President Ragnrok," she, and they were obviously a she by the voice now, said as she gave a low bow, "I know you were expecting Overseer Bolgdrik, however he passed back into the dirt a couple of days ago, I was packing his things up when the note appeared and brought the requested items."

"I see," Ragnrok acknowledged as he seemed to think something over, "Rokrag, you wouldn't mind taking on the last two lordships, would you?" He asked, turning towards Rokrag.

"Only so long as you give me an assistant, I can't manage 11 lordships all by myself, 9 was pushing it. I'm not that good, Ragnrok." 

"I think I can arrange for that Rokrag," Ragnrok agreed while turning to the new goblin, "Say, you were helping Overseer Bolgdrik as he got older weren't you?"

"Yes, President Ragnrok," she nods while looking slightly confused as to where the conversation is going.

"What do you say?" Ragnrok asks towards Rokrag.

"A young assistant would be beneficial in the long run," Rokrag considers, "As long as she's agreeable I don't see anything wrong with it. Although I would like to know who I'm going to be working with," Rokrag agrees while both Ragnrok and Rokrag turn towards the young goblin as understanding finally crosses her face followed by determination.

"Assistant Zatsna, at your service," she gives a slight bow while introducing herself.

"Well that's sorted," Ragnrok said as he clapped, "Now we can get to the fun bit, having our new young lord put all the rings on."

"Can I see the test to see exactly what I'm dealing with before we start putting on lordship rings?" Asked Rokrag.

"Sure, why not," Harry passed the test over watching in amusement as Rokrag's eyebrows went higher and higher with each line read.

"I see, well we should start with the Potter ring and then the Peverel ring. Then I believe you should do either all 4 of the lordships which will combine on their own to create the Hogwarts ring or the Emrys or Pendragon rings. Then do the Black ring followed by the Gaunt ring last." Rokrag advised taking out the boxes with the rings and setting them down in the order he stated.

"Uh, does it matter which finger I put them on? Also, will all of them automatically merge?" Harry asked in trepidation.

"The finger the ring wants will call to you. If they want to merge and are compatible, then they will, otherwise they won't merge. I recommend putting all 4 house lordships on one finger to combine for ease and then moving the combined ring to whichever finger feels right. The other rings are up to you on how you combine them; however the Potter and Peverel rings are most likely compatible, as are the Emrys and Pendragon. The Black and Gaunt rings may or may not combine with each other or any of the other rings," Rokrag answered.

"Guess, I should start then," Harry said, reaching for the box that supposedly held the Potter ring.

The box opened to a beautiful silver ring with the profile of a stag on it. He gently pulled it from the box and instantly felt that the middle finger of his left hand was where it was meant to be. He slid it on, and it magically resized to fit perfectly giving a feeling of warmth.

The next box was presumably the Peverel ring. It opened to a neat silver ring with... of course it has the deathly hallows on it. What was he expecting? It also wanted the same finger as the Potter ring, guess those are going to combine. He put it on, and it instantly merged with the Potter ring to make a new ring, it now looked like a deer skull with the deathly hallows on its forehead. Honestly, it looked more impressive now in Harry's opinion. It also felt right. It wasn't too heavy or cold, it felt like an extension of him.

Now which one to do next? Hogwarts rings or Emrys and Pendragon rings? He reached out and almost felt drawn to the Hogwarts rings. 'Guess those are next,' he thought to himself while opening one of the boxes that wanted to be opened more than the others. It opened to a simple yet beautiful Slytherin crest with green enamel inlayed in it. It wanted to be put on the left index finger right next to the other ring. He slid it on and was met with a cool to the touch ring that gave his finger a gentle squeeze before settling down.

The next box from the Hogwarts rings that called to him was then opened. It revealed a Gryffindor crest with red enamel inlayed in it that was just as simple as the Slytherin one if not more so. This one when slid onto the same finger as the Slytherin one was slightly warm and gave a roar surprising him.

"Jeez, what did it have to do that for?! That scared the living daylights out of me!" Harry exclaimed. Rokrag and Ragnrok started laughing at him while Zatsna looked perplexed at the situation.

"Godric thought it would be a funny joke, what else would you expect from that manchild," Ragnrok explained once he calmed down enough.

"Of course he did," Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation as he reached for the next one.

The next one opened up to a more decadent ring than the other two with gems and more enamel flowing down either side of the Hufflepuff crest with honey colored enamel inlayed in it. This one, when slid on the same finger as the other two, was warm but instead of roaring like the Gryffindor one it gave off a slight honey scent. That was pleasant.

The last ring was Ravenclaw's, it was the most similar to Gryffindor's which made him instantly wary, it was just a Ravenclaw crest with blue enamel inlayed in it. This time he was prepared for the eagle cry as he placed the cool ring on the same finger as the others. As soon as the ring settled all of the rings combined into one showing the Hogwarts crest with colored enamel on a silver ring that looked similar to the Ravenclaw and Gryffindor rings. It felt similar in temperature to the other ring combination but had a slight heft to it that the Peverel-Potter ring didn't have.

"Ravenclaw made the base ring that everyone else edited, didn't she?" Harry asked in annoyance.

"Yep, how'd you tell?" Ragnrok asked.

"The blended ring looks like hers and Gryffindor's and Gryffindor could easily have just copied her," Harry answers flatly, before reaching for the next ring box.

The ring box that wanted to go next was the Emrys ring. The ring revealed was golden with a Celtic style dragon on it. The left pinky finger felt right to put it on, it was warm to the touch and while resizing the dragon on it turned its head toward him and breathed out a puff of smoke before going back to the original position.

The next ring box grabbed was the Pendragon one. The ring inside was a silver ring with a sword on an intricate shield that had some decoration on both sides of the shield. It was cool as he instinctively put it on the same finger as the Emrys ring. It instantly combined with the other ring and made a ring that was still slightly warm and looked like a simple shield with a golden dragon on it.

'Two more rings to go,' he thought to himself as he grabbed the Black ring box. Inside was a gold ring with a rectangular onyx stone with a diamond of gold on top of the onyx holding a diamond. 'It even looks like a Black ring,' he snorts mentally while placing it on his left thumb. It was slightly cool, but other than that it didn't do anything.

"Wait, didn't the Gaunt family ring get destroyed?" Harry asked, remembering the ring that got turned into a horcrux.

"No, the moment the Gaunt family wanted us to switch out the inlay of the ring for a different gem was the moment we switched out the ring for a fake that had the gem they wanted in it. We've kept the real one since then as the family deteriorated," answered Ragnrok.

Opening the last box, Harry withheld a flinch at the sight of such a familiar looking ring. It was a gold ring with snake heads carved biting and holding a diamond shaped clear gem. It was also cool as he slid it on the same finger as the Black ring. To his surprise the rings smoothly combined into a gold ring with 2 snakes coiling around a rectangular black gem, one snake on top, the other on the bottom.

"Hmm, that works well," Harry said looking at his rings, "So, it said on my test that the Potters have a furniture vault, I'm assuming that is where any extra furniture was stored and seeing as I need furniture for a room I might as well take a look at that before I go buy paint. I'll probably look at all of the vaults eventually, but right now I just need money and furniture."

"Ah, are you renovating?" Asked Ragnrok.

"Yeah, Bellatrix destroyed Sirius's old room when they were looking for any signs of where I went. Everything else was just lightly ransacked, that room though, completely unsalvageable. In fact, your summons came right as I finished cleaning everything up and cleaning that room out. Anyways, if there isn't anything else that we need to do, I'll go check the furniture vault, grab some money, and get out of your hair. And write a letter later."

"Everything else should be sorted out easily enough," Rokrag answered with a nod from Zatsna.

"We'll summon you back when the cleansing ritual is ready to be done," Ragnrok agreed.

"Alright then. Wait, do I need a bunch of keys for all the vaults?" Harry asked, alarmed.

All of the goblins started laughing.

"No, no, that's the good thing about your lordship rings, they act as keys for all the vaults related to them. However, the other miscellaneous vaults will need keys unless you just want to throw all the stuff together in one vault under one of the lordship rings," Rokrag explained as soon as he stopped laughing.

"Honestly that sounds like a good idea, I'm bound to lose a key if I need 13 of them for all of the random vaults. Can we put it all in a vault under the Gaunt lordship?"

"We can do that, I'll make a note of it," Rokrag said as he pulled a notebook out of his front pocket and made a note.

*Flashback End*

Harry had found some nice Chestnut furniture, black leather chairs and a Mahogony bed that had forest green sheets and shrunk it all down. He actually likes dark greens, thank you very much. At the paint store he decided on a nice royal blue for the walls that would work well with the dark furniture and forest green sheets.

It's in this room that Harry wakes up to the sound of his phone going off. Only Hermione, Ron, and Malfoy have his phone number. Malfoy only because before he fixed up Grimmauld Place he had argued Malfoy and his mother out of jail. Malfoy's a paranoid bugger though and wanted to be able to make sure someone could come save his arse though, so, phone.

Yes, he taught Malfoy the basics of using a phone.

Yes, he also regrets teaching Malfoy the basics of using a phone.

Yes, he also threatened to curse Malfoy if he messaged in the middle of the night again for no reason.

So, who is messaging him and why? As he unlocks his phone, he looks at the time, it's 3 in the fucking morning! He clicks on the new messages.

"What the heck," He mutters out loud as he sees an image of Snape, who he thought was dead mind you, in a hospital bed holding up a peace sign to the camera. With the message, "I lived bitch," under it. You know what? Just for this Snape's contact name is going to be Batman. And he's going back to bed cause it's too goddamn early. 

Chapter Text

~~~~~

Batman

“Potter”

“Potter”

“POTTER”

“WHAT?”

“Did I wake you up?”

“YES”

“good”

“I need someone to get me out of here.”

"No."

"What do you mean 'No'?"

"You still have a neck brace!!! That is what I mean by 'No'."

"So? I want out."

"You idiot, you still need to heal more."

“soooo...”

“what?”

“Technically they say I need to be in a bed and have someone around to help in an emergency.”

“okay”

“Potter?”

“I'm AWAKE. WHAT IS IT?”

“You do have a guest room, don’t you?”

“yes...”

“With a nice, comfy bed?”

“...yes.”

“wait. WAIT.”

“Come on, Potter. I almost died for you.”

“THAT'S NOT A FAIR ARGUMENT!”

“All the years I spent in danger and agony and not a word of thanks... such a cruel world indeed...”

“SIGH. I’m on my way. Hold on.”

“excellent”

"Do you even know where I am?"

". . . no."

"Sigh. I could have sworn I beat logic into that hard head of yours."

"No, that was Hermione. That was what you were trying to do?"

"Obviously. . . Anyhow here is my location:" 

( location sent )

"Really. Just, Really?! Did you have to use that word?"

"Yes, yes I did. Now hurry up Potter."

“Oh, and Potter?”

“What is it now?”

“I need fresh clothing. I’m in a hospital gown and my robes are blood-soaked.”

“noted”

*Batman is typing …

“Oh for heaven's sake!”

“When you’re on your way, would you stop by a store and get me some bagels? Food here is abysmal.”

“REALLY?!”

“Potter, I’m hurt and lonely and cold and hungry. But if providing me with some decent food after the months I spent unable to keep down anything due to immense stress is too much to ask...”

“OK, OK, I GET IT! Jeez you’re good at this.”

“I know.”

“Bagels with cream and salmon okay?”

“Sufficient.”

“SIGH. I’ll see you in a moment.”

“Lovely.”

*1 Hour Later*

"What's taking you so long?"

"Umm. . ."

"You splinched yourself didn't you?"

". . . no."

"You did, didn't you."

"Maybe"

"SIGH. Why am I not surprised?"

“I needed a little detour to stop by Hermione’s for some Essence of Dittany. It’s harder to Apparate to a place I’ve never been before. I’ll be over in a few minutes.”

“Are the bagels okay?”

“YOU 8(=(=-*+€!!!!”

"You lost the bagels when you splinched, didn't you?"

". . ."

"You incompetent moron."

"Sorry. We'll pick some more up on the way back."

"We better."

~~~~~

*Later at Grimmauld Place*

Snape is set up in Regulus’s old room at the insistence of Kreacher surprisingly. Kreacher had insisted that it was the cleanest room, other than Harry’s, therefore the room best suited for an injured wizard and since it was right next to Sirius’s old room, Harry could get to Snape quickly in the middle of the night. Harry was ordered to, ‘Help poor Master Snape up the stairs to Master Regulus’s old room. Kreacher will clean up and move the papers of Master Regulus to a storage room. Kreacher will also get more pillows.’ 

So Kreacher apparently likes Snape. When that happened, Harry had no clue. Maybe it’s just because Snape’s a Slytherin? He's going to go with that theory for now or else he’s likely to get a headache thinking about it.

But that will make things easier for Harry if Kreacher isn’t against his house guest and can check in on Snape a couple times at night to make sure the man isn’t getting worse. He’d be hard pressed to get Kreacher to do anything like this for Ron or Hermione, even though their relationship with Kreacher had improved when they were on the run.

Harry had lied about getting bagels on the way back though. Because he had remembered Kreacher had ordered him to, ‘Let Kreacher worry about getting and making any food for Master Harry and any guests!’ the last time he had grabbed food for himself.

He was very glad that he had splinched and lied about getting replacements because when they had Snape set up in the bed and Harry asked Kreacher to get some bagels and a drink for Snape Kreacher said, “Good, Young Master is learning, that’s Kreacher’s job. Now if only Master Harry would learn to let Kreacher do the cleaning,” before dissaperating to get the requested food and drink.

“More like lucky you splinched,” Snape commented.

“Shut up,” Harry replied, sitting down in one of the leather armchairs facing the bed.

They sat in silence for a moment before Kreacher reappeared with the requested items on a bed tray.

“Master Snape must eat and then rest,” Kreacher ordered before turning to Harry, “Master Harry must not keep him up too long,” before dissaperating again.

Snape starts eating, while Harry splutters, he was the one that got woken up at 3 in the morning, thank you very much!

When he calmed down from the accusation, he started staring at the man in front of him. ‘How is this even my life right now?’

“What?” Asked Snape after finishing a bite.

“This is so not happening right now. This is completely insane. I don’t know if I should laugh, cry or strangle you with my bare hands,” Harry replied, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Snape gives Harry a pitying look, “I’d offer a bagel, but I’m pretty sure Kreacher would kill us both if I didn’t eat them. First you for accepting and then me for offering.”

Harry snorts at the joke before bursting into tears.

"I guess you chose option 2."

"It's not funny you prick," Harry sniffles while calming down again.

"I know, I was being completely Sirius,” Snape replies with a straight face before they both burst out laughing.

"I never thought I'd see the day I made a Sirius pun. God, I'm too old for this. I'm retiring, I don't want to deal with you lazy brats for the rest of my miserable life," Snape said as they calmed down.

"Too bad, you're stuck with us. Well, at least Hermione and I."

"What did I do to deserve this terrible fate?" Snape bemoans.

"You gave me your memories and then led me to believe you were dead before texting me that you were alive, is what you did,” Harry replied causing them both to chuckle briefly, “Mind you, I don’t even know how you got my number, let alone a phone."

“Draco, got to me right after you left, quickly asking a house elf to get me to a hospital after he stabilized me with the antivenom that I had given him just in case. He kept in touch and told me about the goings on, especially your defense of both our cases along with his mother’s, while giving me a phone.”

“That pale arsed moon child looking git! He told you that it’s better to message me in the middle of the night, didn't he?!” Harry realized.

“Maybe, I also thought it would be funny, so I went along with his poor attempt at deception. How he even made Slytherin I will never know,” Snape said while rolling his eyes at his godson’s antics.

“I know right? He’s about the least cunning Slytherin ever! Everyone could see his lies and I’m pretty sure you just let him get away with them because he was a Slytherin.”

“That and the fact that he’s my Godson,” Snape replied while finishing off the last of his food.

“Oof, well I better get going before Kreacher comes and has my head for bothering you longer than it takes for you to eat,” Harry says while heading for the door. 

Right on time as it would seem because less than a second later Kreacher pops in to take the tray narrowing his eyes at Harry in suspicion before popping back out.

“I see what you mean,” Snape observes before getting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

“Well, goodnight Snape,” Harry said, flicking off the light before going to close the door.

He barely heard the soft, “Goodnight Potter,” before the door shut.

Chapter Text

Harry on the other hand, now that he was up, could not go back to sleep. He sighed going back to his room. ‘Might as well write that letter to McGonagall as Lord Hogwarts.’ He hadn’t done it before his head hit the pillow as exhaustion kicked in after remodeling the room.

~~~~~

Dear Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,

I am writing to inform you that a new Lord Hogwarts has been found by an inheritance test of Gringotts Bank. Lord Hogwarts is a title that requires you to be the Lord of all four inheritances: Lord Slytherin, Lord Gryffindor, Lord Ravenclaw, and Lord Hufflepuff.

According to the Goblins of Gringotts, what this means for you is that Lord Hogwarts must be contacted to seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds and Lord Hogwarts must oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep. 

As Lord Hogwarts, a bi-yearly statement of affairs should suffice unless there is a major change to be made. Also, you have permission for Hogwarts to remain a school and for the current rebuilding efforts. I will also suggest that goblin wardsmiths be called upon to check and fix the wards once the physical rebuilding is done.

Yours Truly,

Lord Hogwarts

~~~~~

That looks good, it looks formal enough and it may be just enough to throw McGonagall off his scent. He wants her to stick out being Headmistress for long enough everything can be settled again, her knowing of him being Lord Hogwarts is a surefire way for that to not happen.

Hey, he even has a genuine reason to write to her at the same time anyways! He can complain about Snape’s antics to her. She won’t expect a thing!

~~~~~

Dear McGonagall,

Snape’s alive!

Can you believe this man? He goes weeks without contacting anyone and then suddenly I get a text at 3 in the morning saying ‘I lived bitch’ along with a picture of him in a hospital bed holding up a peace sign! Supposedly Malfoy got to him right after I left, quickly asking a house elf to get him to a hospital after Malfoy stabilized him with antivenom that Snape had given him just in case. Malfoy kept in touch and told Snape about the goings on, especially my defense of Snape, Malfoy, and Malfoy’s mother, while giving Snape a phone.

He literally made me go all the way to St. Andrews Community Hospital for his ass to pick him up. All because he didn’t want to stay in a hospital for longer than he had to. Why couldn’t he have bothered Malfoy for a room? He’s Malfoy’s Godfather for fuck’s sake! He’s now in Regulus’s old room sleeping after eating bagels because Kreacher likes him.

I’m going to go insane with him here, I just know it.

Yours,

Harry Potter

~~~~~

He misses Hedwig. Now he has to go to Diagon Alley or ask to borrow Pigwidgeon from Ron every time he wants to send a letter. Maybe if he uses 2 different owls McGonagall will think they’re from 2 different senders. Yes, that could work. Maybe he should get a new owl while he’s there? He’ll look and see if one catches his eye. If one does, he’ll just add a postscript to the letter about Snape and send it with the new owl.

He reaches the Alley easily by aperating. He’s not sure if any shop will actually be open, it was only… 5:45 am. Eeylops is closed until 6, same with Magical Menagerie,… S. Starling was open. He could check there to see if any bird caught his eye, if not, he could go to the other places and look there before going to the Owl Post Office for the other letter.

S. Starling surprisingly didn’t smell much worse than the owlery at Hogwarts had and it wasn’t much louder, though that could just be because it was early in the morning. He started looking at all the owls but none of them caught his eye and none of them seemed interested in him anyways, so he moved on to looking at the other birds because he had some time to kill before it was 6.

There were a lot of loud birds that didn’t catch his eye, though he might be back to take a closer look at the crows and ravens. Next, the Diricawls were always neat though, seeing as they were according to regular people called Dodo’s and were supposedly extinct. 

Wait… is that a Snallygaster right next to a Phoenix? What in the…? 

Snallygasters are supposedly American right? What was it doing in a shop in Diagon Alley? The feathers on it were a deep green with the metallic scales being a dark greyish black color. It was also eyeing him with black eyes that held about as much curiosity as he was eyeing it with.

Also, how did they even get a Phoenix? A pretty sad looking Phoenix and oddly colored, but a phoenix nonetheless. The Phoenix was almost completely black in coloration with dark green and purple accenting colors. Its eyes were a rich purple and it too was eyeing him with curiosity.

It was hard to focus on just one of the magnificent creatures as he was drawn over to the two. In fact he was so drawn in that he didn’t hear someone come right up behind him as he was admiring the two.

“They’re incredible, aren’t they?” Said a calm soft voice just over his shoulder.

He jumped and whirled around, as he wasn’t expecting anyone to be behind him. The tall old man behind him looked at him briefly with smiling hazel eyes before refocusing on the creatures. The other man wore a very worn outfit consisting of a blue coat, brown vest, white shirt, bow tie, dark brown trousers with a wand holster, and brown boots.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” the old man apologized.

“It’s fine, I probably should have been paying better attention to my surroundings,” Harry shrugs off the apology, “But yeah, they are pretty amazing. Especially if they’re both what I think they are.”

“Oh? And what do you think each is?”

“Well, the one looks like a Snallygaster, and the other looks like a Phoenix about to burn just with unusual coloring.”

“Close, one is indeed a Snallygaster, the other though is a Hoo-hoo , they are a Japanese firebird, which is indeed closely related to Phoenix’s and retain all of the powers of Phoenix's and the same diet that’s strictly herbivorous, they just range in color and aren’t just scarlet and gold. They’re also a great deal friendlier and bond with wizards easier, however they’re still rare because they are picky with their mates. He is indeed getting close to burning though.”

“Oh, still impressive.”

“True. Say, I’m getting up there in age and I’m not going to be able to take care of them forever, in fact I got sick for the past week and had to ask good old Silas, the owner of this shop, to take care of them for me. I wouldn’t mind passing them on to a nice young wizard who clearly appreciates them,” the old man pondered with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, “What do you say?”

“Wha...? Me? You don’t even know who I am, hell, I don’t even know who you are! And you’re just giving me rare creatures? I don’t even have the first idea of how to take care of them! What if one gets sick? Or injured? Or even just gets startled? I wouldn’t know how to calm it down or treat it!” Harry splutters.

“That’s exactly why you’re fit for the job. You care, and you didn’t just immediately say yes just because they’re rare creatures. You would rather them be with someone else who would be better suited to taking care of them. 

But I think you’ll do just fine. I wrote down booklets on how to take care of them for the future owner, they have every scenario I’ve come across written down along with the general care, see I’ve been looking for someone I could trust for a while. And you’re the only one that has passed my test Mister Potter,” the old man chuckled.

“Correction, you know me, I don’t know you,” Harry stated blankly.

“Ah, Newt! How are you my old friend? Here to pick up your friends? I had an awful lot of people trying to buy them even though they’re labeled as not for sale!” Exclaimed a man bustling over to us from the back.

“Silas, good to see you too. I’m glad I caught the beginning of my cold and brought them here, I was barely able to take care of myself, much less these two. I’m much better now. Most people think that if it’s not for sale that they can just throw heaps of money at it and it will suddenly be for sale,” snarked the newly dubbed Newt, who took the other man’s hand and shook it briefly when offered.

“True, true. That’s good that you’re feeling better, but don’t think I didn’t hear you avoid my other question! Out with it,” Silas prompted.

“Can’t get anything past you can I? I’m finally considering passing on my friends to someone else,” Newt chuckled.

“Oh?” Silas asked, finally noticing Harry watching the greetings like a tennis match. “Oh, finally old fella, I thought I was going to have to force you to pass them on next time you got ill enough to bring them here!”

“No, no. I’ve actually been looking for a bit now Silas, I just didn’t find anyone that passed my test before today.”

“I came looking for a post owl and to wander around before the other owl shops opened and suddenly I’m being considered for being the new owner of two magical creatures,” Harry buried his face in his hands.

Newt patted him on the shoulder trying to comfort him, “At least both of them like delivering mail, so you don’t really need a post owl anymore.”

Harry groaned, “Of course they do. The fates like to play with my life too much,” he picks his face up from his hands and looks at the ceiling complaining, “I already completed your stupid prophecy, why is my life still a crazy mess?”

“Is he alright? Are you sure it’s him you want to give them to?” Silas asked in a loud whisper behind his hand towards Newt.

“He’ll be fine, and yes, I’m sure,” Newt chuckled at the dramatics.

Harry collects himself rubbing his face with his hands and turns to Newt, “Alright fine, where are the booklets and what do I need for now? Also do they have names?”

“I knew you’d come around, here are the booklets,” Newt said as he hands over the booklets which Harry shrunk and put in his pockets, “All you need for them immediately while you read through the books is separate food and water bowls, a perch for the Hoo-hoo and a nest on the floor for the Snallygaster. Hoo-hoo’s eat anything plant, while Snallygaster’s eat anything meat, which is why keeping the feeding dishes separate and not mixing them up is absolutely vital because they’re picky for the opposite sides of the food pyramid. They will not eat if their bowl smells like the other’s food. They don’t have names because they didn’t like any of the names I picked out for them so I called them Gaster and Hoo.”

“First to name you guys,” Harry said as he considered names while looking at the two creatures who were staring at him intently. 

He focused on the Snallygaster first. ‘Hmm… he has a forest coloration and he’s from America… supposedly they’ve only been seen in Maryland…’ he debated while looking things up on his phone. “ Doncaster ,” Harry decided while looking at the newly named Snallygaster who snapped his jaws in approval.

He then focused on the Hoo-hoo. ‘Hmm… night coloration with a Japanese origin… Yozora, meaning night sky? A little too on the nose… Ruka, meaning flowing song? Not quite right, but closer… Kageki meaning shining shadow?’ “Kageki,” he finally decided after mulling the 3 different names around in his head that he liked from the Japanese naming site. Earning a trill from the newly named Hoo-hoo.

“Doncaster and Kageki,” Harry nodded to himself, “We need to get those names on some food and water dishes and pick up a perch and a floor nest. Anything else?” He asked looking over at Newt who he was beginning to suspect was actually Newt Scammander, because why wouldn’t it be?

“Nope it seems like you’ve got it handled,” Newt said while picking up the cages and handing them to Harry after taking the keyed locks off and leaving the regular sliding locks. 

Harry grunted as he took them, they were much heavier than Newt’s physical appearance led him to believe. 

“Now my shipment of food and water dishes is late and I’m out of stock for them, but I do have perches and floor nests in stock, you’re welcome to take a look,” Silas explained waving towards the perches and floor nests in the back corner of the store.

“Great, I’ll take a look and see if any are up to Doncaster and Kageki’s standards,” Harry said as he walked over to the back corner with both of the cages.

*Meanwhile*

“The boy didn’t pass a test you made for him did he?” Asked Silas.

“Yes and no.”

“What test did he pass?” Silas pressed.

“The kindness test and their test. Doncaster and Kageki’s test.”

“Ah, makes sense,” Silas nods, trying to look like he understands, while Newt just shakes his head at his friend’s lack of understanding and leaves.

*Back with Harry*

“Alright Doncaster, we’re at the nests,” he said slowly walking back and forth in front of the nests, “Any catch your eye?” He asks looking down to watch Doncaster’s expression and vocalizations at the nests.

The dark grey nest got a curious look, but not instant approval; the black nest got a hiss; the green nest also got a curious look; and the blue nest got a hiss. Well then, grey or green. He set the cages down and grabbed the grey and green nests to bring them toward Doncaster for closer inspection.

“Alright Doncaster, grey nest?” He asks picking Doncaster’s cage back up to circle the nest. “Or green nest?” He asks switching to circle the green nest before setting the cage down between the two nests.

It takes a minute but Doncaster seems to find fault in the green nest and turns toward the grey nest, clicking his jaws in approval towards it. 

“Grey nest it is then,” Harry nods while shrinking the nest to put it in his pocket for now. He picks both cages up again and walks to the perches before setting Doncaster down and beginning the same process for Kageki.

“What do you think Kageki?” The light colored wooden perches got a turned up beak. The dark colored wooden perches got an interested look. So he pulled those ones forward and started walking around them until Kageki spotted one that was really interesting to him and started trilling at it. It used an ebony base while the part where the bird rested upon was made of purpleheart.

“Why do I have the feeling you just picked the most expensive stand?” he asked rhetorically as he shrunk the stand down and put it in his pocket before picking both cages back up and moving over to the counter to pay for the nest and stand.

“Find things for them both?” Asked Silas as Harry set both cages down to take the nest and perch out of his pocket so that he could pay for them.

“Yep, how much?” Harry asked.

“Wow, Kageki sure knows how to pick them, he certainly picked the most expensive perch of the bunch, as for Doncaster’s pick he also picked a pretty expensive nest, a black walnut nest that looks pretty grey. I’m going to say about 130 gallons for the both, the perch is about 85 gallons and the nest is about 45 gallons.”

“Alright one moment,” Harry says as he grabs his wallet and fishes out the required amount.

“How much money do you have that you have that much in pocket money?” Asked Silas surprised while he counts the money as he puts it in the till, “I thought I was going to have to look after these while you ran to Gringotts.”

“I don’t know. A lot probably, I just got all my lordships after taking an inheritance test,” Harry answered, shrinking the perch and nest and putting them back in his pockets before picking up the cages, “Do you know where I could find food and water dishes that can be inscribed with names?”

“Best bet is probably Magical Menagerie. Good luck.”

“Thanks,” Harry said walking out the door to go to the other shop.

‘Thank god it’s so early otherwise I’d be swarmed as soon as someone noticed me,’ he thought as he got out to thankfully empty streets and quickly walked to Magical Menagerie with his new friends.

It was less loud than it was the last time he was there with Ron and Hermione, although that could be just because it was still early. He headed over to the food and water dishes that he hadn’t noticed the last time he was there and stood in front of them grabbing a green food bowl and grey water dish for Doncaster and a purple food bowl and black water dish for Kageki having a good idea of their color preferences from their choices earlier. He stacked them, shoving them under his arm for transport to the back counter, as he grabbed the cages again.

He got to the back counter and placed the bowls in stacks by who they’re for, “Hi, can I get the green and grey dishes inscribed with the name Doncaster, while the purple and black dishes are inscribed with the name Kageki?”

“Green and grey, Doncaster, how do you spell that?” Asked the clerk.

“D, o, n, c, a, s, t, e, r. And the purple and black Kageki. Spelt: K, a, g, e, k, i.”

“Alright I’ll do that right now,” she said as she took the notes over to a separate station to inscribe the names. When she was done, she came back with the bowls showing them to him for confirmation that they were right before putting them in a bag.

“That will be 3 gallons.”

“Less expensive than their choice of perch and nest,” Harry joked as he took the money out and handed it to the clerk.

“I bet,” she said, handing the bowls over and putting the money in the till.

“Thanks, have a good day,” he said, grabbing the bag and then grabbing the cages and leaving the store. He then apparated home with his new friends.

“Home sweet home,” he set the cages down before opening them up, “what do you say we find a good place for your nest and perch guys?” 

They looked at him before leaving the cages and exploring the living room. Kageki flew around the room a couple of times before coming to rest to the left of the fireplace. While Doncaster ran around the room and decided the right side of the fireplace would suit him. 

Luckily he had decided to move the ugly cabinets that were there before into storage so there was plenty of space for the nest and the perch on either side. He shrunk both cages and placed them on the mantel for storage until he figured someplace else to put them. He grabbed out the perch and nest from his pockets, putting the perch down on the left where Kageki indicated and the nest on the right where Doncaster indicated.

*pop

“Young Master brought familiars. Kreacher never thought he’d see the day.”

“Oh, uh, this is Kageki,” he introduced, “and this is Doncaster. Kageki only eats plants and Doncaster only eats meat. So I got separate food and water bowls that are labeled,” he explained while setting the bowls by their respective owners.

The two now dubbed familiars, eyed up Kreacher assessing the house elf. Before clicking and trilling in approval and going back to testing out their nest and perch.

“Kreacher will be getting the familiars, fruit and meat and filling their water dishes up now,” Kreacher said as he snapped away with the food and water bowls.

‘Wonder what that was all about… eh, it’s probably nothing.’ He takes out his letters and looks at them as the two familiars get bored with their perch and nest respectively and come over to rest beside him.

“Newt said that you’ve both delivered letters before, do you mind having a flying race to deliver a letter each to the same person?” He asked the two who each got a glint in their eye and seemed to start talking shit to the other.

Well, they did until Kreacher came back with their food and water bowls filled. They seemed to agree to stop to have a food break.

“Huh, guess that answers that,” he mutters to himself while starting a postscript for each of the letters.

~~~~~

Yours Truly,

Lord Hogwarts

Ps. This is Doncaster the Snallygaster. Yes it rhymes, completely coincidental, I assure you. He only eats meat if you want to give him a treat, however you likely want to offer it on a clean platter so accidents don’t occur. Don’t be upset if he refuses though he just got fed this morning.

~~~~~

~~~~~

Yours,

Harry Potter

Ps. This is my new friend Kageki! He’s a Hoo-hoo, they’re basically the Japanese version of a Phoenix! His name means shining shadow in Japanese. He only eats plants if you want to give him a treat. Kreacher gave him a fruit bowl this morning though so I’m not sure how hungry he’ll be.

~~~~~

‘That should do it,’ he thought as he resealed the letters. ‘Now I just have to wait for them to get done with their food and give them the letters to take to McGonagall. After that I’m going to sleep until noon.’

Doncaster and Kageki finished their food and water fairly quickly. Clearly excited they flapped over to accept their letter.

“Now hold still for a moment while I place a spell on the two of you so I don’t get yelled at for muggles seeing you,” Harry said after each had gotten their respective letter. 

“Muggles de natura celare verum, Muggles de natura celare verum” he cast on both once they held still. Loosely the spell means ‘hide true nature from muggles’ he knew it would be useful to remember one day.

“Alright, you’re good to go. The letters are for Minerva McGonagall,” he told them before opening the window for them and then they were off like a flash.

‘They have way too much energy for this early in the morning, I'm going to bed now.’

Chapter Text

*Pov a certain Snallygaster and Hoo-hoo in the morning before Harry finds them*

"Newt should be coming back for us today, right?" Asked the Snallygaster, who was nicknamed Gaster.

"Yeah, the sickness I smelt on him would only last him till today," replied the Hoo-hoo, who was nicknamed Hoo.

They watched Silas open the shop to customers hoping that there wouldn't be any greedy bastards trying to buy them today. Silas was a decent 2-legged magic user, he was also decent at fending off the greedy buggers, but it was just a matter of time before someone tried to just take them. Although if that happened Hoo would just flash the two of them back to Newt, or Gaster would flash the two instead if the humans took precautions against Hoo flashing.

Little known fact that Snallygaster's can flash, it's where all of the fire ability of the dragon's they're related to went. Not to mention that they're related to Occamies somehow, which is weird since Occamies live in the Far East and Asia not America. Although it would explain the ability to flash as well because Occamies were born of a particularly adventurous Hoo-hoo and a Moke. Either a Hoo-hoo got adventurous again and tried a Dragon this time, or more likely a Occamy was adventurous and went after a Dragon, and the mating flight somehow managed to end in America.

Never mind, Dragon fire ability and Hoo-hoo ancestry from an Occamy would do it. The potent fire ability mixed with the dormant flashing ability would cause the flashing ability to resurface. Especially since Snallygasters can shrink slightly if they are stalking prey to make themselves stealthier or grow slightly to help them subdue prey quicker. They can't grow or shrink too much, so it makes sense that the 2-legged magic and non-magic users hadn't noticed it yet.

"I just realized why we can talk to each other pretty easily," Hoo laughed quietly.

"Why?" Asked Gaster curious.

"We're distantly related. An adventurous Hoo-hoo had a tryst with a Moke and that resulted in the birth of Occamies. And an adventurous Occamy must have had a tryst with a Dragon and the mating flight somehow managed to end in America to create Snallygasters."

"Why does that make so much sense? Cause Mom had bragged about our ancestor being an Occamy who banged a Dragon so well that they ended up in America."

The door opened and they quieted instantly looking at the door to see what 2-leg had come in this early in the morning. They watched as the young male went over to the owls, looking at them before deciding that since none of them cared about him, he didn't want one of them. They then watched as the young male shrugged before casually looking at the other birds making his way back toward them.

They noticed the exact moment the young male saw him. The young male with his round glasses, messy black hair, and a lightning scar on his forehead had turned from the Diricawls towards them and frozen for a moment, his bright green eyes widening in a mixture of surprise, shock, and awe as he saw them.

Now this is a curious 2-leg, they glanced at each other noticing that the other had also caught on to the curious nature of this particular 2-leg. The young male hadn't immediately tried to buy them as soon as he saw them, and he had only looked entranced by them. Infact the young male didn't even notice in his drift towards them that Newt had come up behind him. Newt was looking back and forth between the young male and them for a moment before he seemed to decide something.

“They’re incredible, aren’t they?” Newt asked the other, making them preen slightly and watch in amusement as the other jumped and whirled around. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Newt apologized to the other.

“It’s fine, I probably should have been paying better attention to my surroundings,” the other shrugs, “But yeah, they are pretty amazing. Especially if they’re both what I think they are.”

Now that got their attention, does he really know what they are and didn't immediately try to buy them?

Newt seemed to also be curious, “Oh? And what do you think each is?”

“Well, the one looks like a Snallygaster, and the other looks like a Phoenix about to burn just with unusual coloring.”

Gaster snickered at Hoo cause the other 2-leg didn't know what Hoo was even though he knew what Gaster was.

"Shut up," Hoo rolled her eyes at Gaster.

“Close, one is indeed a Snallygaster, the other though is a Hoo-hoo, they are a Japanese firebird, which is indeed closely related to Phoenix’s and retain all of the powers of Phoenix's and the same diet that’s strictly herbivorous, they just range in color and aren’t just scarlet and gold. They’re also a great deal friendlier and bond with wizards easier, however they’re still rare because they are picky with their mates. He is indeed getting close to burning though.” Newt explained to the other.

"She, not he. Also, am I really getting that close to burning?" Hoo asked Gaster as they briefly ignored the conversation in front of them.

"Yep, you're looking pretty rough. A day or two more is probably when it will happen."

They tuned back into the conversation as Newt with a mischievous twinkle in his eye says, "I wouldn’t mind passing them on to a nice young wizard who clearly appreciates them. What do you say?"

They watch the other wizard, now that's a new term, splutter at the offer, “Wha...? Me? You don’t even know who I am, hell, I don’t even know who you are! And you’re just giving me rare creatures? I don’t even have the first idea of how to take care of them! What if one gets sick? Or injured? Or even just gets startled? I wouldn’t know how to calm it down or treat it!”

They look at each other and nod in perfect agreement, now that just seals the deal, this young wizard is the only one they'd accept to take them. Doesn't care about their rarity and cares about their wellbeing. They saw that Newt noticed the exchange and agreed.

“That’s exactly why you’re fit for the job. You care, and you didn’t just immediately say yes just because they’re rare creatures. You would rather them be with someone else who would be better suited to taking care of them. 

But I think you’ll do just fine. I wrote down booklets on how to take care of them for the future owner, they have every scenario I’ve come across written down along with the general care, see I’ve been looking for someone I could trust for a while. And you’re the only one that has passed my test Mister Potter,” Newt chuckled.

“Correction, you know me, I don’t know you,” the newly dubbed Mister Potter stated, looking blankly at Newt as Silas bustled over toward them from the back.

"Mister Potter? Like the Harry Potter that Newt keeps groaning about in connection to an Albus's foolishness?" Asked Hoo as they checked back out of the conversation.

"It must be, how else would Newt know his name and us not know his face?"

"Also do you feel the draw to connect with him too?"

"You too? Thank fuck, I thought it was just me. What does it mean?" Asked Gaster.

"Have you ever heard about familiar bonds? I think it's one of those."

"At least I only have to share with you, I can deal with that," joked Gaster.

"Yeah, I don't think that I could deal with someone I didn't know either," Hoo replied as they turned back to the conversation.

“Oh, finally old fella, I thought I was going to have to force you to pass them on next time you got ill enough to bring them here!” Silas exclaimed, does this mean what they think it does?

“No, no. I’ve actually been looking for a bit now Silas, I just didn’t find anyone that passed my test before today.” Ah, so Newt's been testing others too, and it does mean what they think it means.

“I came looking for a post owl and to wander around before the other owl shops opened and suddenly I’m being considered for being the new owner of two magical creatures,” Harry buried his face in his hands. Gaster and Hoo start snickering toward one another at Harry's despair.

Newt patted Harry on the shoulder trying to comfort him, “At least both of them like delivering mail, so you don’t really need a post owl anymore.” That's true, they puffed up at the thought carrying the mail since Harry wouldn't need a boring old owl anymore.

Harry groaned, “Of course they do. The fates like to play with my life too much,” he picks his face up from his hands and looks at the ceiling complaining, “I already completed your stupid prophecy, why is my life still a crazy mess?”

That gave them pause as they looked at each other. Harry had been chosen by a prophecy? More than that, he completed a prophecy? That's almost unheard of. Wait, was he that "Chosen-One" from the newspaper? He's got to be, he defeated a dark one? No wonder Harry has the two of them to balance out his magic, if he was strong enough to defeat a dark one.

"Holy shit. How did Harry survive this long without us?" Gaster asked.

"I don't know, he must have been using a lot of magic to hold something back or something. He should have died as soon as he became an adult without us," Hoo answers in a state of disbelief.

They tuned back into the conversation again as Newt said their nicknames.

“First to name you guys,” Harry says looking at us as we stare at him intently.

Harry looks at Gaster first, pulling out a small rectangular device from his pocket and messing with it while seemingly considering things to himself. Eventually Harry seems to make up his mind, "Doncaster."

"Fuck yeah! That's a kickass name!" Gaster now Doncaster approves. Hoo doesn't say as much but she agrees.

Harry seems to understand the approval and looks towards Hoo next. Tapping more on the device and considering more. It takes slightly longer than it took to figure out Doncaster's name but eventually Harry makes up his mind, "Kageki."

"Holy shit, Harry named me according to my ancestors! He named me Shining Shadow!" Hoo now Kageki shouts excitedly in approval. Which Harry recognizes and repeats their new names to himself before turning back to the other wizards as Kageki and Doncaster ignore the wizards again.

"We have fucking amazing names! Harry also named me after one of the forests of my homeland."

"Nice, it seems that he took our homeland's into account when he named us," Kageki observes.

"I feel like we got lucky to have him as our familiar," Doncaster agrees before they both get jolted slightly as Newt passes their cages to Harry.

They watch as Harry asks Silas what things he might have for them and Silas waves them towards a back corner.

“Great, I’ll take a look and see if any are up to Doncaster and Kageki’s standards,” Harry said as he walked over to the back corner.

"Wait, we're going to get a choice? Yes!" Doncaster and Kageki exclaim at the same time super happy and excited.

“Alright Doncaster, we’re at the nests,” Harry said slowly walking back and forth in front of the nests so that Doncaster could examine them, “Any catch your eye?”

"Dark grey? That's a maybe I could possibly camouflage into it. Black? Fuck no! Too dark, I'd get seen in that! Green? Hmm, that's also a maybe. Blue? That's even worse than the black! I'd stick out like a sore wing!" Doncaster proclaims.

Harry had been watching and set their cages down and grabbed the grey and green nests to bring them toward Doncaster for closer inspection. 

“Alright Doncaster, grey nest?” Harry asks picking only Doncaster’s cage back up to circle the nest. “Or green nest?” Harry asks switching to circle the green nest before setting the cage down between the two nests.

"The circling was a nice touch. Hmm... grey or green? The grey color somehow almost exactly matches my scales," Doncaster observes, "The green on the other hand is just a few shades off, slightly too light in coloration," he decides turning towards the grey nest, "This one! This one is much better!"

“Grey nest it is then,” Harry nods while using his magic to shrink the nest to put it in his pocket for now. Harry picks both cages up again and walks to the perches before setting Doncaster down and beginning the same process for Kageki.

“What do you think Kageki?” Harry asks.

"Ugh, light colored wood, I hate that stuff. I'd stick out like a sore wing on that stuff," she turned her beak up towards it, "Now dark colored wood on the other hand, that I could work with."

Harry seemed to notice and pulled all of the dark wood perches forward for closer inspection and started walking around them again. It was then that Kageki noticed it, the most perfect perch of all existence, "That one! That one right there! Beautiful black base with a beautiful purple place to rest!"

“Why do I have the feeling you just picked the most expensive stand?” Harry asked rhetorically as he shrunk the stand down and put it in his pocket before picking both cages back up and moving over to the counter to pay for the nest and stand.

"Probably because she did," Doncaster chuckled.

"Just because I know quality doesn't mean that you need to pick on me," Kageki huffs back.

“Find things for them both?” Asked Silas as Harry set both cages down to take the nest and perch out of his pocket so that he could pay for them.

“Yep, how much?” Harry asked.

“Wow, Kageki sure knows how to pick them, he certainly picked the most expensive perch of the bunch, as for Doncaster’s pick he also picked a pretty expensive nest, a black walnut nest that looks pretty grey. I’m going to say about 130 gallons for the both, the perch is about 85 gallons and the nest is about 45 gallons.”

"Oi, I'm a she, thank you very much!" Kageki squawked slightly in offence before teasing Doncaster, "Hah, you picked an expensive nest too."

"Yeah, but mine was only around half the cost of yours," he shoots back before becoming concerned, "That's a lot of money, how is Harry going to pay for it all."

“Alright one moment,” Harry says as he grabs his wallet and fishes out the required amount missing the shocked looks from the 2 familiars.

“How much money do you have that you have that much in pocket money?” Asked Silas surprised while he counts the money as he puts it in the till, “I thought I was going to have to look after these while you ran to Gringotts.”

"That's what we'd like to know too," the familiars mutter at the same time.

“I don’t know. A lot probably, I just got all my lordships after taking an inheritance test,” Harry answered, shrinking the perch and nest and putting them back in his pockets before picking up the cages.

"Did I hear that right? Did he say lordships? As in multiple lordships?" Doncaster asked in shock as they tuned out everything else again, " I heard that it was rare to even have a lordship, much less multiple. And I heard that if you had a lordship, it usually meant that you were pretty wealthy."

"I heard the same thing you did," Kageki confirms, "He wasn't even fazed at having to spend that much money either, so he was probably already pretty wealthy beforehand. How much wealthier is he now? Also did you catch that he had to take an inheritance test to learn about all of his lordships?"

"I did. Wait, does that mean he's an orphan? From what I've overheard about lordships they usually pass down father to son, although the mother sometimes has one that can pass down. The only reason he would need an inheritance test for lordships is because the parents weren't there anymore," Doncaster ponders.

They were pulled out of their shock when they heard Harry say, “Hi, can I get the green and grey dishes inscribed with the name Doncaster, while the purple and black dishes are inscribed with the name Kageki?”

"Well at least he figured out our preferred colors," Doncaster joked.

"I think he just figured that those colors would be fine since they were the colors that we liked on our nest and perch options."

"Probably, but at least we didn't have to tell him a hundred times for him to notice."

"That's true," Kageki agreed.

“Thanks, have a good day,” Harry said, as they tuned back in. Harry grabbed the bag and then grabbed the cages before leaving the store.

"Alright guys, we're going to apparate back home to #12 Grimmauld Place," Harry said looking down at the two in their cages before with a twist of magic they were suddenly in a new place.

“Home sweet home,” Harry set the cages down before opening them up, “what do you say we find a good place for your nest and perch guys?”

They looked at him before leaving the cages and exploring the living room of this new place. Kageki took off and flew around the room a couple of times exploring the set-up of their new home before coming to rest to the left of the fireplace. Meanwhile Doncaster ran around the room exploring on foot because he was quite a bit bigger than she was and didn't want to accidentally fly into anything, before he decided that the right side of the fireplace would suit him.

Harry shrunk both cages and placed them on the mantel before grabbing out the perch and nest from his pockets. Harry placed the perch down on the left where Kageki indicated with a clawed bop to the ground before she hopped back, and the nest on the right where Doncaster indicated with his own clawed bop before he hopped back.

*pop

“Young Master brought familiars. Kreacher never thought he’d see the day,” remarked an old crotchety house elf that popped in.

“Oh, uh, this is Kageki,” Harry introduced, “and this is Doncaster. Kageki only eats plants and Doncaster only eats meat. So I got separate food and water bowls that are labeled,” Harry explained while setting the bowls by their respective owners.

Kageki and Doncaster eyed up Kreacher assessing the house elf.

"Very dedicated soul," Doncaster approved before going back to testing his nest.

"Very loyal soul," Kageki approved before going back to testing her perch.

“Kreacher will be getting the familiars, fruit and meat and filling their water dishes up now,” Kreacher said as he snapped away with their food and water bowls.

The two familiars get bored with their perch and nest respectively and wander over to rest on the couch beside Harry and see him contemplating 2 letters. 

“Newt said that you’ve both delivered letters before, do you mind having a flying race to deliver a letter each to the same person?” Harry asked them.

"Ooh, I love a good race!"

"Me too! You're about to burn so don't be too upset if I win!" Doncaster claims.

"Bitch! I can beat your scaley behind with ruffled feathers any day!" Kageki boasts.

*pop

They pause watching Kreacher place their filled food and water dishes by their nest and perch.

"Food break?" Doncaster asks.

"Food break," Kageki confirms.

And they go over to their food for a well needed intermission.

"Bro, that was so good, Kreacher really knows what he's doing," said Kageki after she finishes her last bite and sip of water.

"I know right? Just the fuel up we needed before a race," Doncaster agreed as they excitedly flapped over to Harry to accept their letter.

“Now hold still for a moment while I place a spell on the two of you so I don’t get yelled at for muggles seeing you,” Harry told them after each had gotten their respective letter. 

“Muggles de natura celare verum, Muggles de natura celare verum,” Harry cast on both once they held still.

“Alright, you’re good to go. The letters are for Minerva McGonagall,” Harry told them before opening the window for them and then they were off like a flash darting through the window and off towards where they felt Minerva McGonagall resided.

They flew fast and hard leaving behind any shit talking since they were racing now and had to focus entirely on doing their best.

It was a good thing that Harry had taken precautions against any Muggles seeing them since they were going an unprecedented, 134km/h or 83mph. Which, if any bird watcher would have seen it, they would be absolutely baffled because the fastest bird in Europe only goes about 97km/h or 60mph, which is a great deal less than the two familiars are going.

The whole trip took about 5 hours for the familiars to finally have the castle in their sights. When they spotted it, they were neck and neck, Doncaster just a few wingbeats behind Kageki. It turned into a sprint from there which Doncaster with his larger wings was able to turn to his favor. Doncaster entered the Headmistress's office just a few wingbeats ahead of Kageki.

"Hah! I win!" He claimed flapping to rest down gently before stretching out his neck for McGonagall to untie the letter from around.

"It's the return trip that matters," claimed Kageki calmly as she flew in the window landing on the desk and stretching out her leg with the letter tied on it towards McGonagall.

Chapter Text

It was 11:13am, almost time for lunch, and Minerva was about to bash her head into Albus's desk out of sheer boredom.

Although really, she should be thinking of it as her desk now, Albus is gone. She wishes that Severus was still Headmaster, he seemed to take being in Alb- the Headmaster's office much better than she does.

Back to the topic at hand though, her sheer boredom.

Do you know how mind numbing it is to fill out requests to several different ward masters and master architects to come to Hogwarts to give a quote on how much it would cost for them to fix Hogwarts? You change a few words here and there, but the requests are practically the same. You'd think that there aren't that many ward masters and master architects to ask after the wars, but no, there are about a dozen each because they were the ones who were able to stay out of the wars!

Now you might wonder why she was just getting around to this. But the answer is quite simple really. They had just cleared out all the rubble from the castle's various damaged areas. They also sorted the rubble into piles of things that they might be able to re-use by the castle area that it came from and banished anything unusable.

Minerva finally finished the last of the requests when the clock hit 11:15am. She let out a sigh of relief leaning back into her chair.

That was right before she got the living daylights scared out of her as she saw from the corner of her eye a large shape swoop into the Headmaster's office. Correction two large shapes. The first one chittering loudly at the other which gave a soft trill in return.

She gasped at the sight leaning back with her hand on her chest, willing her heart to slow down again from the shock as the two creatures landed much more gently on her desk than one would have thought possible for creatures of their size.

The first looked like a dragon mixed with a bird with deep green feathers everywhere but its underbelly and legs where metallic scales of a dark greyish black color resided instead. It had black eyes, but they weren't cold eyes although they were still very much intelligent, she noted.

The other looked almost like Fawkes close to a burning day, if not for the notable difference in color and that the tail feathers looked more like a peacock's. It looked almost completely black in coloration with dark green and purple accenting colors on the wings and tail feathers, and its eyes were a rich purple color looking at her with amusement.

It was only after that observation that she realized that the first was holding out its neck and the second was holding out its leg with a letter tied to each of them for her.

There better be a good explanation for this in these notes or she swears that she will hunt down the person who sent them and hex that person.

She carefully unties the notes opening the one from the dragon-bird-thing first.

~~~~~

Dear Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,

I am writing to inform you that a new Lord Hogwarts has been found by an inheritance test of Gringotts Bank. Lord Hogwarts is a title that requires you to be the Lord of all four inheritances: Lord Slytherin, Lord Gryffindor, Lord Ravenclaw, and Lord Hufflepuff.

According to the Goblins of Gringotts, what this means for you is that Lord Hogwarts must be contacted to seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds and Lord Hogwarts must oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep. 

As Lord Hogwarts, a bi-yearly statement of affairs should suffice unless there is a major change to be made. Also, you have permission for Hogwarts to remain a school and for the current rebuilding efforts. I will also suggest that goblin wardsmiths be called upon to check and fix the wards once the physical rebuilding is done.

Yours Truly,

Lord Hogwarts

Ps. This is Doncaster the Snallygaster. Yes it rhymes, completely coincidental, I assure you. He only eats meat if you want to give him a treat, however you likely want to offer it on a clean platter so accidents don’t occur. Don’t be upset if he refuses though he just got fed this morning.

~~~~~

Minerva doesn't know what to focus on first. The fact that there's a Lord Hogwarts, that said Lord must be contacted to seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds and oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep, that the Lord therefore wants bi-yearly statements of affairs unless major changes are to be made, that she needed permission from the Lord for Hogwarts to remain a school and for the current rebuilding efforts, that the Lord is 'suggesting' goblin wardsmiths be called for the wards and therefore half of the work that she just finished is completely useless, that the dragon-bird-thing is actually a Snallygaster and is named Doncaster, the names coincidentally rhyme and Lord Hogwarts has a sense of humor, that the Snallygaster eats only meat, that she should offer said meat on a clean platter so accidents don’t occur, or that this was sent this morning and it's now nearly noon.

She considers that she has a whole other letter to read and therefore just focuses on getting the Snallygaster, Doncaster, a treat since it is midday and no longer morning.

"Mipsy," she calls out.

*pop

"What does Headmistress Kitty need from Mipsy?" The female house elf asks popping into the office.

Minerva smiles at the half familiar moniker that the elves call her, they used to call her Professor Kitty. They've been using Kitty instead of her name since they found out that she can turn into a cat.

"Could you get a clean platter with a bit of meat on it for the Snallygaster, who's apparently named Doncaster, here?" She asked, gesturing to Doncaster who perked up a bit at the word meat, "Perhaps some water in a clean dish too? If I'm not mistaken, he's had a long flight."

Mipsy gasped looking at the Snallygaster with wide green eyes, "Mipsy be's getting some meat and water for Doncaster right away!" She exclaimed, nodding frantically before popping away.

Minerva opens the second letter.

~~~~~

Dear McGonagall,

Snape’s alive!

Can you believe this man? He goes weeks without contacting anyone and then suddenly I get a text at 3 in the morning saying ‘I lived bitch’ along with a picture of him in a hospital bed holding up a peace sign! Supposedly Malfoy got to him right after I left, quickly asking a house elf to get him to a hospital after Malfoy stabilized him with antivenom that Snape had given him just in case. Malfoy kept in touch and told Snape about the goings on, especially my defense of Snape, Malfoy, and Malfoy’s mother, while giving Snape a phone.

He literally made me go all the way to St. Andrews Community Hospital for his ass to pick him up. All because he didn’t want to stay in a hospital for longer than he had to. Why couldn’t he have bothered Malfoy for a room? He’s Malfoy’s Godfather for fuck’s sake! He’s now in Regulus’s old room sleeping after eating bagels because Kreacher likes him.

I’m going to go insane with him here, I just know it.

Yours,

Harry Potter

Ps. This is my new friend Kageki! He’s a Hoo-hoo, they’re basically the Japanese version of a Phoenix! His name means shining shadow in Japanese. He only eats plants if you want to give him a treat. Kreacher gave him a fruit bowl this morning though so I’m not sure how hungry he’ll be.

~~~~~

Severus is alive??!!! Severus willingly bothered Mister Potter to get out of the hospital with one of those newfangled muggle contraptions??? 

She almost started crying out of thankfulness that Severus is alive before she got distracted.

The Phoenix looking bird is called a Hoo-hoo and is basically just that, a Phoenix. Potter named him Kageki meaning shining shadow. He only eats plants. He was fed this morning.

She grabs both letters and compares them for a moment while running the entrance of the two creatures back through her head.

She knows who to hex now.

She doesn't care that Mr. Potter doesn't have an owl anymore, he still could have borrowed one. He didn't need to show off his new friends and give her a heart attack!

*pop

Mipsy comes back with the meat and water for Doncaster and sets it in front of him, distracting Minerva from her plans to hex Potter.

"Is there anything else Mipsy can be getting you?"

"The Hoo-hoo, named Kageki, here needs a snack and some water too, he eats only plants," Minerva answered, gesturing to Kageki as Kageki trilled excited at the sound of a snack and water, but hissed slightly at the use of he for Kageki.

"Kageki is being a she Mipsy thinks. Mipsy will be getting Kageki her plant snack and water," Mipsy corrected, as Kageki trills happily at being properly gendered, before popping away again.

"I suppose Potter didn't know that you were female?" Minerva asks rhetorically as she raises an eyebrow at Kageki.

She's shocked as Kageki nods in reply to her question, she didn't think that the Hoo-hoo would understand and answer.

"Well, I'll be sure to tell him that you are female in my reply then," Minerva tells her.

*pop

Mipsy pops back in with Kageki's snack and water and puts it in front of her before popping back out.

Minerva looks at the stacks of letters to be sent out and banishes the one to the ward masters, she'll make a new one later to the goblin wardsmiths. She pulls 2 sheets of parchment out and starts penning 2 new letters.

~~~~~

Dear Lord Hogwarts,

I have received your letter and must say I was surprised at both the fact that there is now a Lord Hogwarts and your choice of creature for letter delivery. 

I appreciate that you have given permission for Hogwarts to remain a school and for the current rebuilding efforts. It is also interesting to note that you must be contacted to seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds and Lord Hogwarts must oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep.

A bi-yearly statement of affairs unless there is a major change to be made is a perfectly acceptable arrangement and I will go with your suggestion that goblin wardsmiths be called upon to check and fix the wards once the physical rebuilding is done.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Headmistress of Hogwarts

~~~~~

~~~~~

Dear Mister Potter,

Or should I say Lord Hogwarts? Hmm?

Don't think you were slick trying to make it seem as if two different people sent those letters, I know your handwriting and style too well to be fooled. Especially when you use two magical creatures to deliver the letters. Heaven only knows how you managed to get two magical creatures, much less get them to deliver mail for you.

On to more pressing matters.

Severus is alive??!!!

Severus willingly bothered you to get out of the hospital with one of those newfangled muggle contraptions???

I expect to see both of you for tea within a week to check up on you. In fact, you are to come this Friday for tea at 3pm.

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Ps. It was close to noon when they arrived, so I had a house elf get a snack and some water for both of them. Also, Kageki is actually a female according to said house elf and Kageki confirmed it. Your new friends are alarmingly intelligent.

~~~~~

After the two creatures finished their snacks and drank their fill, Minerva tied the letters on to their respective creature. Hogwarts business for Doncaster and regular for Kageki. As soon as she was finished tying the letters on the two took off through the window.

'Well, that's that,' she thought while dusting off her hands and standing up, 'I'm going to get lunch now and send those other letters later. It is, after all, 11:45am, nearly noon.'

She’s so done with today already.

Chapter Text

Harry said he was going to sleep till noon, and he meant it. 

In fact, no one in the Grimmauld household got up until 12:30pm. At which point, Kreacher was the first to rise and made brunch for the two tired wizards.

Snape woke up next at 12:40pm after the smell of brunch wafted up far enough to reach him.

He then promptly realized that he needed to empty his bladder and didn't know how he was going to get to the bathroom without falling and breaking his neck. Never mind that it's a connecting bathroom and he only has to go a few steps to get to it. He knows that if he stands up right now, he'll fall over. Since he didn't drink enough water yesterday, only drinking some with the bagels, dehydration is a bitch. He's going to have to call Potter to help him isn't he? Damn it.

He grabs his wand and casts a message patronus and blinks in surprise as it has changed. Although now that he thinks about it, it wasn't surprising that it had changed with so much taken off of his shoulders by the war ending. His guilt, while still there, was lessened due to Harry surviving, although some more guilt is on him as he couldn't protect everyone from the Carrows. He didn't have to pretend to be someone else anymore because he no longer needed to spy. He was free of the two masters that he foolishly chose, one more foolish than the other.

What was surprising though was the fact that the patronus was now a Thestral. Magical patronuses are rare, much less a Thestral. Though the irony of having a Thestral patronus after almost dying is not missed on him.

The patronus nudged him with its nose trying to make sure that he was alright which startled him back into the present, and his pressing need to relieve himself.

Right contemplate later, get help, so that he can empty his bladder, now. He speaks to it, "Potter, it seems as if I require your assistance to get to the bathroom, as I am dehydrated and will surely crack my head open if I attempt to stand without assistance." He paused for a moment before adding, "The change of my patronus is not important currently and can be contemplated later if you do not wish for blood to stain your carpet as I will attempt to get up by myself if you do not show up quickly." And he sends it to the next room over to wake Harry up.

*POV Harry*

Harry groans as something nudges his shoulder. He tries to roll over and go back to sleep but is nudged again, this time on his cheek.

Harry's eyes pop open to a patronus in his face.

"Gah!" He scrambles backward and almost off the bed in surprise, before it clicks in his brain what he's seeing.

He grabs his glasses and jams them on his face right before the patronus starts speaking.

"Potter, it seems as if I require your assistance to get to the bathroom, as I am dehydrated and will surely crack my head open if I attempt to stand without assistance." Snape's voice comes from the patronus.

Of course, Snape would wake him up with a patronus to help him get to the bathroom because he didn't take care of himself and drink enough water. Wait, that's a Thestral, not a doe.

Snape continues right after Harry realized the change, "The change of my patronus is not important currently and can be contemplated later if you do not wish for blood to stain your carpet as I will attempt to get up by myself if you do not show up quickly." The patronus fades since its message is complete.

Fine, dramatic ass bitch, you don't have to threaten him, he would have helped. Wait, Snape must really have to pee if he's threatening him.

Harry gets up with a chuckle and walks over to and through the connecting bathroom, said bathroom connects the rooms to each other.

*End POV*

Severus hears Harry wake up in surprise and then the message plays through. He then hears Harry chuckle before footsteps move in the other room.

The bathroom door pops open as a very disheveled, but in a good mood, Potter sticks his head through.

"You must really need to go pee if you had to threaten me." The brat grins cheekily.

"Of course, the bathroom connects our two rooms. Now shut up and help me." Snape snaps irritably.

"Alright, alright." Potter holds up his hands in mock surrender while he enters the room fully, before walking over to help the grumpy wizard.

He stands up with his arm slung over Potter's shoulder as Potter's arm braces his back. It's a good thing too since as soon as he stood up fully his vision started going black around the edges encroaching on the center of his vision. He leaned heavily on Potter, blinking furiously as he willed his vision to return.

"Whoa, you weren't kidding when you said you were dehydrated."

"Astute observation Potter."

"Wow, that sarcasm is almost palpable. Anyways, has your vision cleared up enough to start heading over to the bathroom yet?"

He blinks a few more times before deciding that yes, his vision is as clear as it's going to get with a slight ring of black still around his vision.

"We can continue."

"Alright," Harry replies as they shuffle over to the bathroom.

Once they make it to the bathroom Harry then asks, "Do you want me to conjure/bring you a chair or something to hold on to just in case?"

Snape blinks once more as the black tries to invade his vision again and grips onto the sink's countertop, "That may be advisable."

A stiff wooden chair pops into existence next to the toilet and a glass of water on the countertop.

"Ah right, thanks Kreacher. Anyways, I'll just wait outside and give you some privacy." Potter says as he leaves through his bedroom's door.

Snape shuffles over to the toilet grabbing on to the chair for a moment before relieving himself with a sigh. He then shuffles back over to the sink and washes and dries his hands quickly before grabbing onto the countertop as his vision threatens to leave him again. Once he stabilizes out again, he grabs the glass of water and drinks it slowly before setting the empty glass back down.

The single glass of water already helped a decent bit seeing as his vision was back to normal and wasn't threatening him with every movement he makes. He still isn't going to chance it before he has at least 3 glasses of water in him though.

"Potter, I'm decent again."

"Alright, ready for the return trip?" Potter asks entering the bathroom again. Harry had obviously looked in a mirror since the last time he saw him, as Harry's hair, while still messy, was its usual state of messiness rather than the disheveled state it was earlier.

Severus fixes him with a look, "I wouldn't have said anything if I wasn't."

"Things can always change," Harry points out with a chuckle, before holding out his arm for Snape seeing that he was much steadier on his feet.

Severus grabs onto the proffered arm, as they exit the bathroom and make it back to the bed without further incident.

"Alright next decision, do you want company for brunch, or have you already tired of my presence?" Potter asks with mirth dancing behind emerald eyes.

"And let you out of my sight? The moment I take my eyes off of you, you'll be getting into some sort of trouble or another," Severus snarks back.

"Hehehe..." Potter laughs nervously as he rubs the back of his neck with one hand.

"No? Seriously Potter? What did you get yourself into now!?"

"Uh, nothing?" Harry tries for a second to act innocent, but falters at the glare sent his way.

"Well, nothing bad at least! Uh so, you went to bed, but I was up for the time being, so I wrote some letters to McGonagall but then I needed to either buy an owl or send them through the Owl Post Office in Diagon. So, I went to Diagon, but no shops were open yet except for S. Starling, so I went in there and looked at the owls but none of the owls were interested in me, so since I had time to spare, I decided to look around a bit. I looked around and then I saw a Snallygaster and what looked like a phoenix close to burning and was entranced by them. Then an old man came up behind me and started a conversation with me about them. The one that looked like a phoenix was a Hoo-Hoo, basically a Japanese phoenix. And then he decided I was the perfect person to give them to since he was getting too old to take care of them and Silas, the shop's owner, was looking after them because he had gotten a cold and could barely take care of himself. The old man's name was apparently Newt, and he gave me books on the two and told me that I needed to name them, get them a ground nest and perch, and separate food and water dishes, because the Snallygaster, now named Doncaster, eats only meat, and the Hoo-Hoo, now named Kageki, only eats plants, and they won't eat if they smell each other's food in their dish. So, I bought stuff for them and came back home because apparently, they both like to deliver mail. So, Kreacher fed them, he called them my Familiars for some reason although I don't know what a Familiar is, and then they went to deliver my letters to McGonagall." Harry barely paused for breath in the whole retelling and was therefore left gasping for breath after he finished his tale.

"I have so many questions. But first why would you be writing multiple letters to Minerva? Surely one would suffice."

"Uh, heh, that would be because I'm hoping that she won't realize that Lord Hogwarts and I are the same person so she will at least stick out the rebuilding of Hogwarts," Harry offered sheepishly.

"Ignoring that you are somehow Lord Hogwarts for the moment. You really think that she won't recognize your handwriting? Even if you change it up a bit you still have clear tells," Snape asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, I know, but I had to at least try," Harry sighs in defeat.

"Fair point, next question. How in Merlin's name did you manage to be gifted two, not one but two, rare magical creatures by Newt Scamander of all people while going looking for a bloody post owl???"

"Your guess is as good as mine!" Harry throws his hands up in exasperation, "I can be doing the simplest of things and then suddenly, bam, here you go, have this curve ball thrown at you."

"Fair enough, next question. How did, in all of your chaos, you not hear about Familiars?"

"Didn't come up I guess," Harry shrugs, "You'd be surprised at the amount of things I don't know."

A gurgle is heard. Followed by another one from the opposite stomach.

"Apparently we are taking a brief intermission for brunch. We will be talking about the fact that you have multiple Lordships and the fact that you didn't know about Familiars afterwards though."

"And hopefully you will forget that," the brat mutters under his breath.

"I heard that."

"Fuck."

Chapter Text

After they had eaten a lovely brunch made by Kreacher of porridge with a side of bacon with topping options ranging from sweet options like fresh fruit and Plum compote to savory options like soft boiled eggs and avocado.

"Kreacher really out did himself," Harry remarked, wiping his mouth off with a napkin after finishing his bacon and porridge that he topped with a simple mixture of brown sugar, a hint of cinnamon, a bit of maple syrup, and banana slices.

"Oh? Does he not usually bring out this many toppings?" Snape queried after wiping his own mouth having finished his portion seconds after Harry finished his. Snape had gone for a more savory combination which consisted of cinnamon, avocado, and just a hint of maple syrup. Snape reached for his glass of water after a pointed look from Harry before Harry answered.

"Yes, I think he either wanted to impress you or wasn't sure what you enjoyed in your porridge. Usually, he just brings out a few sweet toppings to pick from. I was expecting a few sweet topping options and a few savory options to pop up, not this extensive selection of options. I'm leaning more towards him wanting to impress you."

"Indeed," Snape raises an eyebrow, "and you wouldn't have anything to do with this at all? I can't see why he would try to impress me."

"Oi, don't blame this on me! I already knew that you preferred more savory dishes, I would have had Kreacher only set out an extensive amount of savory toppings if I had anything to do with it! Plus, Kreacher obviously likes you. Probably because you are a Slytherin, or for some Slytherin related reason," Harry huffs crossing his arms and turning his head away.

"Oh, and how do you know that? I could like sweet things for all you know. Also, I know you are Slytherin enough to pretend that you don't know my preferences even if you did somehow know them."

"Please, it's easy to see you like savory dishes. Any time a dish was abnormally sweet, like that one loaded potato soup that they had in 5th year, you barely took a bite of it, versus all of the other more savory dishes which ended up completely finished. Although you do have a preference when it comes to desserts for fruit sweetened things without a lot of extra sugar, caramel and sea salt, or dark chocolate..." Harry focuses back on Snape's face which is trying very hard to be indifferent but the slight twitches of the corners of his lips are betraying him, "You're messing with me aren't you."

"N-no..." Snape loses the war with his giggles, "g-go on, I-it's fascinating to l-learn exactly h-how much attention y-you pay towards me."

"Shut up, it's a habit to notice food preferences."

Snape calms back down, "Of people you hate though?" Harry's mind is briefly drawn towards the Dursleys before Snape continues, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that you had a crush on me."

Harry flushes slightly, "Don't even joke about that! You know how sometimes kids will look at pictures of their parents and go, 'How was my parent that hot?' That was me toward your fucking potions book! I had a crush on the boy in your potions book before I knew it was you and now it's weird because you could have ended up as my dad or one of my honorary uncles had circumstances been slightly different."

They pause while what was said sinks in, Snape because it was a surprise to learn that Harry's type was his teenager self, and that Harry thought that he could have been his dad or uncle had things been different. And Harry because he hadn't expected to reveal all that to Snape.

Snape goes to say something, but gets cut off by an embarrassed Harry, "Nope, we are not talking about this anymore, find a different topic."

"Alright then we're talking about the fact that you have multiple Lordships and the fact that you didn't know about Familiars."

"Damn it."

"Let's start with how you have more than just the Potter and Black Lordships, and how you found out about them."

"Uh, so you know how we broke into and out of Gringotts to get a horcrux? And that they're now doing an audit of all accounts?"

"Go on."

"It might actually be easier to just show you, hold on a moment," Harry runs to grab the initial letter from Gringotts and the inheritance test results from his room. 

When he comes back, he shoves the letter at Snape, "Here read this first."

Snape grabs the letter and starts reading it aloud for some reason.

~~~~~

Dear Harry James Potter,

We the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to first and foremost apologize for the gross mishandling of your assets. Upon setting up an audit of all our accounts, we were quite displeased when we found out what exactly you needed to retrieve from the Lestrange's vault as we would not allow such a cursed thing to be near us under normal circumstances, we came across the matter that you had not gotten sent any of the normal account statements, nor gotten the summons to accept your Heirships nor Lordships when you should have. 

The perpetrators of this, Griphook, Hutvess, Nagnok, Snaglok, and Uisx are, fortunately for them, dead otherwise they would have gotten the punishment they deserve for such an egregious misconduct.

Secondly, the Goblins of Gringotts bank would like to thank you for all that you have done for us. Getting rid of that foul piece of magic from our midst and taking down the one that made it who has slaughtered many a goblin. We also acknowledge that, while if you had notified us of the existence of the foul thing, we would have handed it over to you immediately for removal or let you watch as we destroyed it, you didn't know as such and thus acted within the most logical manner possible. And although you did cause massive property damage and the loss of a dragon guardian, we are willing to accept the losses to a warrior such as yourself that has rid our world of such evil.

However, this leaves the matter of claiming your rightful Lordships and settling things with your account. We must insist that you come as soon as possible to rectify these matters.

Sincerely,

Ragnrok

President Ragnrok of Gringotts Bank

~~~~~

"Yeah so, I got that right after I had cleared out Sirius's room to refurnish and redecorate it. So, I went to the bank immediately and had a meeting with President Ragnrok."

"Only you, only you would end up in a meeting with the President of Gringotts in order to settle your affairs."

"You should probably be saving those "only you" 's. You're going to feel like saying that a lot I feel. Anyways, Ragnrok had me take an inheritance test as the first order of business. I feel like this will either answer most of your questions or make you more confused, or both." Harry hands over the inheritance test.

Snape also read this out loud, 'It must be how he reads everything,' displaying a remarkable hold on his occlumency barriers in order to read through it in one go.

~~~~~

Inheritance Results of Harrison (Harry) James Potter:

Paternal Relative: James Fleamont Potter (deceased)

Maternal Relative: Lily Jade Potter Nee Evans (deceased)

Godparents: Sirius Orion Black ( illegally incarcerated ) (deceased), Alice Marie Longbottom Nee Fortescue (incapacitated)

Magical Guardian: Albus P. W. B. Dumbledore (illegal) (deceased)

Titles: Prophecies Chosen, The-Boy-Who-Lived, Basilisk Slayer, Horcrux Destroyer, Time Traveler, Tri-Wizard Champion, The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice, Master of Death, Dark Lord Slayer, Goblin Friend

Abilities: Natural Animagus (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Natural Occlumens (85% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.; 15% unblocked by S.T.S. and H.J.P.), Natural Legilimens (100% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Parselmagic (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.), Eidetic Memory (80% blocked, A.P.W.B.D.)

Magic: Platinum/Grey

Lordships:

Blood inheritances: Lord Potter (Paternal)

Magic inheritances: Lord Gryffindor (Paternal), Lord Peverel (Paternal), Lord Emrys (Maternal), Lord Pendragon (Maternal), Lord Ravenclaw (Maternal), Lord Hufflepuff (Maternal), Lord Hogwarts (Has all 4 Lordships)

Conquest inheritances: Lord Slytherin (T.M.R.), Lord Gaunt (T.M.R.)

Bequeathal inheritances: Lord Black (S.O.B.)

Vaults:

Blood inheritances: Potter vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 trust, 1 family)

Magic inheritances: Gryffindor vaults (1 family), Peverel vaults (3 vaults), Emrys vaults (1 family), Pendragon vaults (1 family), Ravenclaw vaults (1 family, 1 item), Hufflepuff vaults (1 family), Hogwarts vaults (1 item)

Conquest inheritances: Slytherin vaults (1 family), Gaunt vaults (1 family)

Bequeathal inheritances: Black vaults (1 furniture, 1 artifact, 1 book, 1 family), 13 misc. vaults from random families

Properties:

Blood inheritances: Potter (2)

Magic inheritances: Gryffindor (1), Peverel (3), Emrys (1), Pendragon (2), Ravenclaw (2), Hufflepuff (3), Hogwarts (1)

Conquest inheritances: Slytherin (1), Gaunt (2)

Bequeathal inheritances: Black (2), 6 misc. properties from random families

~~~~~

Snape put the inheritance test down before letting his anger boil over. "IF I HADN'T KILLED THAT OLD FOOL THEN, I SURE WOULD BE NOW! How dare he place blocks on your natural abilities! If your magical core wasn't this strong you would have died from the strain of trying to hold back the horcrux and having such blocks on you!"

"Oh shit, really? Uh, how does it affect me now?"

"Luckily for you, said blocks were the only thing keeping you alive after you destroyed the horcrux since you hit majority where you get a boost in magical power. Your magic was probably fighting the blocks and hoping that you would try and use the abilities which would cause them to be able to slowly chip away at the blocks. For example, take how we chipped away at the block on your Natural Occlumens. This is because you didn't have Familiars to balance out your core yet."

"So, does that mean I shouldn't get the cleansing ritual, that the Goblins have offered, done? Also, what exactly are Familiars?"

"No, now that you have your Familiars, you should make sure to bring them to the cleansing ritual. The Goblins will know what they are and how to incorporate them into the ritual so that your magic connects to the Familiars properly after being cleansed and doesn't start attacking you. Familiars are creatures that have magic that matches your magical core, they must be strong enough to take on the extra magic that you have flowing out of you to balance your magical levels out enough. They basically help to spread out your magic enough to stabilize your core from the concentrated amount of magic that you hold," Snape briefly descends into teacher mode.

"Oh, okay. Also, let me guess the last person who had two familiars was Merlin?"

"How did you guess?"

"The topic came up a few times throughout my inheritance test, and the fact that I am Lord Emrys aka. related to Merlin through my mother's side doesn't help matters much," Harry sighs.

"How many is a few?" Asks Snape now genuinely curious.

"Three times, once while giving the required amount of blood for the test, then for my magic level, and then for the fact that Lord Emrys is from Merlin."

"It's funny that Lord Emrys isn't even the most influential of those titles since you are effectively wizarding royalty due to being Lord Pendragon," Snape chuckles.

"Shut up. It's bad enough I'm Lord Hogwarts, and therefore have to oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep. Don't jinx me by mentioning royalty, I do not want to deal with any sort of hidden duties that could come from being royalty," Harry hissed in alarm. "Anyways I am never using half of my titles so that people don't realize just how much money I have. I was already wealthy with just the Potter and Black vaults; throw in the vaults I was bequeathed and the extra inherited vaults I am likely the richest bachelor in the entire wizarding world. How would I ever find a partner who likes me for me if all they can see is money and fame. I will already have a hard enough time because of my fame, let's not have them after my money as well."

"Hmm, I can see how that would be troubling. I don't have any of those problems because no-one would want to marry me anyways, even if I had a Lordship."

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?" Asked Hermione from the door, scaring the shit out of the two men.

"Hermione! What the fuck?! You about gave both of us a heart attack! How long have you been standing there?"

"Sorry Harry, but you didn't answer the door, Kreacher did, and when I asked where you were he just pointed up here. I've been here since the beginning of the Gringotts letter. I'm hurt that you didn't tell me about this before telling Professor Snape," Hermione finishes with a mock hurt look, "I thought you trusted me."

"Hermione, you know it's not like that," Harry implores, missing that it's mock hurt.

"I know Harry, I'm just messing with you."

"Ugh, why is everything and everyone messing with me today?"

"Maybe because you're extremely entertaining to mess with," chuckled Snape, at Harry's misfortune, "Anyways, what were you going to tell me?"

"You underestimate how many people would be willing to marry you. Especially now that you have Harry's defense. While we were in school, the potions section of the daily profit tended to portray you as the most eligible bachelor in the potion's realm, it included no less than 16 different quotes of people who professed their love for you. Now that you have Harry's defense, I'd expect that number to triple," Hermione informed Snape, amused as his eyes started to bug out of his head.

Snape slowly turned to Harry, "Never mind, we're both screwed." Harry nods solemnly.

"Ugh, boys, it's not the end of the world," Hermione remarks exasperated.

"You are already dating Ron who knows you practically inside and out, and you don't have to deal with rabid fans, you don't get to talk."

"Also, I would like to add that, you have just broken the news that one is very popular with the ladies to a very introverted man. An introverted man who also has no clue on how regular social interaction is supposed to work, might I add," Snape points out.

"Wait, you've never been on a date before?" Harry asks incredulously.

"The closest I've been to a date is a playdate with your mother when we were too young to even start thinking about actual dating. What do you think?" Comes the most deadpan reply that Snape can deliver, raising an eyebrow at the end.

Hermione bursts into giggles at the shade that was just thrown at Harry, as Harry is left gaping.

"Is this how he has been the whole time he's been here?" Hermione asks once she can stop giggling.

"Yes, this man is absolutely hilarious half the time with his deadpan humor. We can be talking about something normal and then he just whips out a joke out of nowhere. I swear he's making up for lost time with having to keep a mask on."

"Half the time?" Hermione asks.

"Probably more than that, but that's just because I don't find half of the stuff funny because it's about me."

"That sounds more accurate," Hermione concludes, "back on topic though. When were you going to tell me and Ron Harrison James Potter?"

"Uh, once I remembered to..." At Hermione's disappointed stare he hurries on, "I would have at least remembered to tell you guys once I got the summons to go to the ritual cleansing. Things have just been kinda hectic though."

"No, Harry, I get it. Seeing Dumbledore, someone who you had trusted, on there as someone who betrayed you in a way probably brought all of the people close to you into question," she raises a hand to forestall him, "Even if it was just for a moment, or even if it was just a lingering suspicion in the back of your head. You have seen Ron's jealousy and even my desire to know everything. You were scared at how Ron would react to you being even more wealthy than previously thought and wondering if he was being your friend just for the money/fame. As for me you were probably scared at how I would react because you likely have many tomes of books, and you know my thirst for knowledge. Whereas Professor Snape was the safe option to tell, you know for certain that he only cares about you, and you have seen it time and time again."

"I didn't even think about that, although I guess it might have been going on in my subconscious. Especially the part about Ron." Harry rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Anyways, I came to check that you both hadn't killed each other, but you're getting along just fine so I'll leave you to it. I won't tell Ron anything other than you have a lot of blocks put on you by Dumbledore for now. Although I would like to know about these new Familiars when you get the chance, and I think that would be safe enough to tell Ron about too, so I suggest you tell him about your new Familiars as well. Bye, Harry. Bye, Professor Snape," Hermione says as she turns to leave.

She gets a, "Bye, Hermione."

And a, "I'm not your Professor anymore," from behind which she ignores on principle.

"What was I going to lecture you about next?" Snape asks after Hermione's departure.

"Why would I know, I'm sure it will come to you."

"Hmm, prob-ably," Snape gets broken off by a yawn, "I do believe however that it is time for an afternoon nap.

"Sure, but first you're going to drink another glass of water and go to the bathroom."

"Blast, I should have just cracked my head open on the floor, I wouldn't have to deal with your mother henning then."

Chapter Text

Harry had Kreacher get Snape another glass of water and gave Snape a stern look before Snape started drinking.

“Wait… How did Hermione know you were here? Hell, how did she even know you were still alive?”

“Draco perhaps?” Snape offered, pausing his slow sips of water.

“Of course, Malfoy told Hermione, the arse didn’t want to check up on us himself. Anyways, you finish that and then go to the bathroom before you take your nap, you’re probably so tired because you’re still healing and therefore most of your energy is going towards that.”

“Hmm,” Snape hummed noncommittally while finishing his water, “At least my voice box wasn’t damaged too much, that would have been a pain to deal with. Actually, my neck healed up mostly first and then the healing of the wounds slowed down.”

“Could it be because it healed the place that was most damaged first and then stalled the wound healing process to finish eradicating the venom in your system? I mean, you did say that Draco gave you the antivenom that you gave him just in case. I would assume that you gave him an antivenom dose for his body, not for a full adult’s body, and therefore while it helped get rid of most of the venom in you, you would still have a bit left for your immune system to fight,” Harry pointed out.

“You do realize that you’re both technically adults now, but you’re right his dosage would be slightly less than a dosage for me because he is slightly shorter and more slender and I gave him a dosage for him. I probably have at most 5% of the venom that my magic is counteracting currently which would be a tough fight but I’m sure it’s not impossible.”

“Do you have any extra antivenom lying around just in case? Or would I need to get Hermione or Draco to make some if your magic can’t overcome the venom?”

*meanwhile with 2 certain flying Familiars*

They had been flying for about an hour and a half. Kageki had fallen slightly behind due to her ruffled feathers creating more drag than Doncaster’s smooth ones. Other than that though they were pretty evenly matched.

Just then Kageki got an idea, ‘I’ll never be able to catch up and surpass Doncaster like this. However, we never made solid rules for this race. Flashing wasn’t prohibited, and it’s not like he can’t flash too so it’s not that unfair. He’s gonna be pissed that he didn’t think of that first because we can easily catch on to Harry’s location and flash right to him. Heck we could flash to that McGonagall lady now since we’ve been there now.”

“You doing alright back there slowpoke? You’re never going to beat me like this.” Doncaster called back tauntingly.

Now she’s definitely flashing right now, “Oh yeah? Watch me.” She called back before flashing right to Harry.

“Huh?” Squawked Doncaster in surprise as he felt Kageki flash away. 

He flashed to her and Harry, “Cheater!”

“We never made a rule against flashing, plus you can flash too, you’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first.”

They both paused as they heard from the side, “Potter, what the fuck.” And they sheepishly turned to view their audience.

*back with Snape and Harry*

Snape was just about to reply when suddenly, fawoosh . A purple flame appeared and suddenly there was a bird like a phoenix just differently colored with a slightly different appearance in front of them. 

‘This must be the Hoo-hoo, I suppose,’ Snape thought to himself before fawoosh . A Snallygaster appeared in a green flame and screeched at the Hoo-hoo. The Hoo-hoo trilling lightly back in a very smug reply.

“Potter, what the fuck,” slipped out of Snape’s mouth before he could process properly what he was seeing. Which caused the creatures to look sheepishly over at them, and then finally land. The Snallygaster on the floor peeking his head up over the end of the bed at them and the Hoo-hoo on the end of the bed.

“Don’t look at me!” Harry raised his hands in surrender shaking his head, “I didn’t know they could both flash! I thought that maybe Kageki could, but I didn’t think Doncaster could too!”

“I can’t believe your luck. You have the wildest things happen to you. Especially creature wise. Trolls, Cerberus, Centaurs, Acromantula, Basilisk, Hippogriffs, Dragons, Merfolk, Giants, etc.”

“Oi! Half of that isn’t even my fault!”

“It may not be your fault, but you can’t deny it happened. Also, it looks like they have replies for you.” Severus pointed out.

“Fine,” Harry walked over to Doncaster and Kageki, who had been watching the tennis match of a conversation with interest.

Harry sat down by Severus and opened the one on Doncaster first. “This one is the one with the Lord Hogwarts business,” he informed Severus before reading it out loud.

~~~~~

Dear Lord Hogwarts,

I have received your letter and must say I was surprised at both the fact that there is now a Lord Hogwarts and your choice of creature for letter delivery. 

I appreciate that you have given permission for Hogwarts to remain a school and for the current rebuilding efforts. It is also interesting to note that you must be contacted to seek permission to do anything significant with Hogwarts grounds and Lord Hogwarts must oversee all matters pertaining to Hogwarts and its upkeep.

A bi-yearly statement of affairs unless there is a major change to be made is a perfectly acceptable arrangement and I will go with your suggestion that goblin wardsmiths be called upon to check and fix the wards once the physical rebuilding is done.

Sincerely,

Headmistress Minerva McGonagall

~~~~~

“Hah! See it worked!” Harry boasted.

“You sent that one in official capacity, and so she replied in official capacity.” Severus pointed out skeptically.

“Fine I’ll read the other one and prove you wrong,” Harry opened the personal one and began reading.

~~~~~

Dear Mister Potter,

Or should I say Lord Hogwarts? Hmm?

Don't think you were slick trying to make it seem as if two different people sent those letters, I know your handwriting and style too well to be fooled. Especially when you use two magical creatures to deliver the letters. Heaven only knows how you managed to get two magical creatures, much less get them to deliver mail for you.

~~~~~

“Damn it.”

“I told you so, now keep reading.”

~~~~~

On to more pressing matters.

Severus is alive??!!!

Severus willingly bothered you to get out of the hospital with one of those newfangled muggle contraptions???

I expect to see both of you for tea within a week to check up on you. In fact, you are to come this Friday for tea at 3pm.

~~~~~

Harry pauses and they look at each other, “Well, at least that works out because I stuck some extra antivenom behind Dumble’s painting and by then we should know if I need it or not.”

Harry decides not to comment on the use of that hiding place and finishes reading.

~~~~~

Sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Ps. It was close to noon when they arrived, so I had a house elf get a snack and some water for both of them. Also, Kageki is actually a female according to said house elf and Kageki confirmed it. Your new friends are alarmingly intelligent.

~~~~~

“Kageki’s a she not a he, that makes some of her reactions make more sense.” A curious chirp was heard.

“Really?” Snape arches an eyebrow.

“Yeah, she kept hissing every time he/him was used for her.” Vicious nodding and triumphant tweeting was seen and heard from Kageki.

“I can see what Minerva means by alarmingly intelligent now,” Severus yawns again before continuing, “Now if you don’t mind leaving with your familiars, I’m going to take a trip to the bathroom and take a nap now.” Snape sets down his empty glass on the bedside table and gets up going towards the bathroom.

Harry looks toward his familiars, “Well, you heard the tired man. Come on guys.”

Chapter Text

Harry led his familiars into the living room and sat down on the couch while Doncaster and Kageki settled down for their own naps in their respective places. 

“I should probably write down a list of things to do before I forget,” he muttered to himself, summoning a piece of parchment and a quill to write with.

~~~~~

Things to do/ try to do within the next month:

• Gringotts summons and healing (bring familiars)

• Friday 3pm tea with McGonagall (bring Snape)

• Get a girlfriend/boyfriend before my lordship status gets leaked (idk, maybe focus on a foreign person who won’t think I’m too special or something {ask luna? she always seems to know everything})

• Tell Ron (and Hermione, got to make it look realistic {maybe the whole Weasley family?}) about my Gringotts results.

• Learn all of my natural abilities after Gringotts cleansing

• Curse Draco so that he wishes he was dead (or at least jinx him into next century for doing this shit to me {dropping Snape on me in the middle of the night})

• Care for Kageki after rebirth? (idk how that is going to differ due to being my familiar and being different from a phoenix)

• Pester Snape due to his patronus change? (if bored and willing to maybe get hexed)

• Did my patronus change/will it change due to the cleansing and chaos of my life?

• Find a job or hobby (teaching DADA, flying/quidditch, new hobby? idk)

• Pray that none of my special titles or lordships come to bite me in the butt (I can hope and pray, I know it’s improbable)
• Take care of Snape until he inevitably leaves and disappears off of the face of the earth except for certain events where he'll just show up unannounced and leave just as quickly

~~~~~

“That should do it… wait some of those are more long term than just a month… and I forgot to add being the best Godfather I can to Teddy.” He scraps the list and rewrites the list into two lists. 

~~~~~

Things to do/ try to do within the next month:

• Gringotts summons and healing (bring familiars)

• Friday 3pm tea with McGonagall (bring Snape)

• Get a girlfriend/boyfriend before my lordship status gets leaked (idk, maybe focus on a foreign person who won’t think I’m too special or something {ask luna? she always seems to know everything})

• Tell Ron (and Hermione, got to make it look realistic {maybe the whole Weasley family?}) about my Gringotts results.

• Curse Draco so that he wishes he was dead (or at least jinx him into next century for doing this shit to me {dropping Snape on me in the middle of the night})

• Care for Kageki after rebirth? (idk how that is going to differ due to being my familiar and being different from a phoenix)

• Pester Snape due to his patronus change? (if bored and willing to maybe get hexed)

• Did my patronus change/will it change due to the cleansing and chaos of my life?

• Take care of Snape until he inevitably leaves and disappears off of the face of the earth except for certain events where he'll just show up unannounced and leave just as quickly

Long Term Goals:

• Pray that none of my special titles or lordships come to bite me in the butt (I can hope and pray, I know it’s improbable)

• Find a job or hobby (teaching DADA, flying/quidditch, new hobby? idk)

• Learn all of my natural abilities after Gringotts cleansing
• Try to be the best Godfather you can be to Teddy

~~~~~

“Is that all? Hmmm… Cleaning up the house more is out of the question, Kreacher would revolt because apparently that’s his job. So I guess that’s all…” Harry pondered out loud.

“Master is learning. Young Master is also needing clothes befitting his status. Kreacher will be burning the rags Master Harry calls clothes if he needs be.”

“Gah! Kreacher! You startled me! Wait! Don't burn all the clothes! I like the Weasley sweaters! I’ll get a new wardrobe of clothes just don’t burn the sweaters!” Harry whipped around to look at Kreacher who was in the hallway.

“Young Master promises? Master Harry will also be getting clothes worthy of a young lord as well as everyday clothes?” Kreacher squints suspiciously.

“Fine, I’ll even get formal wear if you promise not to burn the Weasley sweaters.” Harry sighs defeated.

“Master will be getting measured and fitted today as Kreacher will be burning rags today.”

“Alright, I’ll go get measured and fitted, I suppose there wasn't anything else on the schedule to do today anyways.”

“Kreacher will be teaching Master Harry how to be a proper Lord if it’s the last thing Kreacher does.” Kreacher muttered half to himself as he left, presumably to burn most of Harry’s clothes.

It’s not like Harry didn’t need new clothes anyways, he just didn’t really think that they should be that high on his list to get. All he had to do was charm them before wearing them to fit and to patch holes, although that seems a bit foolish in hindsight. Yeah, Kreacher’s right he really does need new clothes, that doesn’t mean that he’s willing to give up his perfectly fine Weasley sweaters though. He probably does need new formal wear as well, his dress robes are likely too small for him now.

Which store to go to though? Madam Malkin's has always worked out before, but he has been known to go there so if he showed up there, he was likely to be swarmed upon leaving the shop. Twilfitt and Tattings might be worth the expense though, he heard from Narcissa that they pride themselves on their discretion and that many Lords go there to get their robes. It’s not like he didn’t have money now, and it wasn’t like he was going to grow more, or probably not at least. He hit 5’9” so he was fairly happy with that since he already knew his height would end up stunted due to his childhood. Wait, would the cleansing help his magic heal his malnutrition? Perhaps he should go to Madam Malkin’s anyway just in case… After all, if he was right in his estimations, he would probably have been closer to 6’0” since both his parents were fairly tall. He can always get better quality dress robes from Twilfitt and Tattings after the cleansing either way if he grew or not.

Harry left Grimmauld place and went to Madam Malkin’s under a slight glamor to appear as a chestnut brunette with tan skin and brown eyes with only a small nick on his jaw as any sign of scarring. He did not want to deal with the crush of people that would be shopping at this time of day fawning over ‘The Boy Who Lived Twice’ while he was just trying to get some robes. He entered Madam Malkin’s thankful that it was empty currently except for Madam Malkin and her assistants. 

Madam Malkin bustled over to him as he entered the shop. “Hello dear, need some new robes?” She asked gently. 

“It’s a bit embarrassing but I actually need a whole new wardrobe with a couple of dress robes as well, also if I could be fitted in private that would be wonderful.” Harry said, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Of course dear, if you would follow me, we have a private fitting room back here, it’s a rather new thing but we recently realized that some customers would probably appreciate a bit of privacy more than just splitting the girls from the boys.” Madam Malkin answered, gently guiding him back towards a new door in the back of her shop.

Once they were in the private room with the door shut Harry took off the glamor.

“Oh! Oh Harry dear, no wonder why you needed an entire new wardrobe. Not to worry I’ll get you all measured up, and I’ll get a few simple outfits started. Any color preferences dear?” She asked as she flicked her wand and set a tape measure to measuring him while she took notes of the measurements.

“Mainly darker colors/shades of colors, so darker reds, greens, and blues, etc. For trousers I prefer them to be denim or a black color. Other than that I don’t really have much of a preference in clothing.”

“That’s fine dear, I can work with that. Do you like or hate a specific material? Or do you just not know?” She asked, stopping the whizzing tape measure and grabbing out materials with that color pallet.

“Uh, I know I like cotton, denim, dragonhide, and softer materials, but I don’t really know all that much about clothing, sorry.”

“It’s alright dear, the world of fashion can be quite daunting for some when they first enter into it. Let’s stick mainly to the materials you know you like with only a few exploratory materials for you to test and see if you like them.”

“That sounds good.” 

It then only took 30 minutes and a few adjustments for Madam Malkin to make him a simple wardrobe with a couple dress robes. When Harry asked why she did only a simple wardrobe after paying, she just tapped her finger against her nose and winked without giving a real answer as she shooed him out the door with his clothes and his glamor replaced.

“Well that was weird,” Harry muttered when he got back to Grimmauld place with his wardrobe and dropped his glamours.

“What was weird?” Asked a voice before yelping as Harry instinctively cursed the person who startled him.

“Potter why?! My beautiful hair!” Draco Malfoy whined as his hair fell out suddenly before looking up into glowing green eyes.

“Run.” Is all Harry said giving his wardrobe to Kreacher, who appeared to take it before popping away with it, before raising his wand to curse Malfoy again. Looks like he's going to cross one thing off his list sooner than he thought.

Draco paled as he dashed away up the stairs towards the rooms, “Uncle Severus! Help! Potter’s trying to murder me!”