Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The last few days of summer are supposed to be fun. Everyone is coming back to their dorms, seeing each other after forever, throwing parties and drinking until they can’t see straight. As the designated “losers” and “annoying people” on campus, Catra, Scorpia, and Entrapta as a trio are unofficially banned from any house parties and social gatherings that they could go to. That makes weekends quite boring, especially when everyone else is out celebrating the last few days of their freedom.

“Come on guys, there’s lots of things we can do tonight,” Catra argues, trying to save the night. “We can watch a movie, play some games…we can drink by ourselves. We don’t need anyone else.”

“It would be nice if we were invited,” Scorpia says, almost pouting.

“You don’t get invited to stuff like that. There’s no invitation like a birthday party.”

“I think Scorpia means she wishes we were allowed to go,” Entrapta says, eyes glued to her phone. “I don’t understand why you guys like social events that much. Though, I will admit they’re great unofficial field studies.”

“Oh, Entrapta. You and your science obsession. Dr. Hordak is perfect for you.” Scorpia sighs.

“I still think it’s gross you’re dating one, a professor, and two, a man who is the spitting image of his father. It’s like you’re dating the whole family at once.” Catra shivers.

This gets Entrapta to look up. She creases her forehead. “Dr. R. Hordak looks exactly like his father. I’m dating Dr. W. Hordak. They’re two different people.”

“That’s still a ten plus year age gap. It’s gross.” The group falls back into silence. Catra sits uncomfortably in it. A few drunken classmates go running by, shouting loud enough for the three of them to hear it in their third level dorm room. Scorpia sadly sighs again, looking out the window.

“Speaking of love, who wants to play dating app roulette?” Catra offers, sliding off the bed and onto the floor.

The other two girls groan.

“What? You guys know you love this game,” Catra scoffs, pulling out her phone and pulling up one of her three dating apps.

“ You love this game, Catra. We cringe every time you flirt then ghost some poor person on there. Sooner or later, word will get around and no one will want to date you.”

Catra waves a limp hand. “That’s the best thing about dating apps: low to no commitment! Half the people on these apps made profiles just to get romantic attention. It’s nice to have people flirt with you, knowing that people are interested in you. Now which one should we start with first?”

She flips her phone around to show tonight’s contestants. Scorpia takes the phone, placing it in between her and Entrapta. They take turns swiping right on girls, each doing three swipes. Occasionally, they show Catra girls they think are her type, but ever-the-picky Catra declines each one. The two girls swipe through the candidates for ten minutes, until Scorpia gasps and snatches the phone away from the circle. She holds it close to her chest.

“Oh. My. Catra.”

“What? What!” Catra asks. She lunges towards Scorpia, but she dodges and runs away towards the front door. Catra trails behind her. “What is it?”

“Not what, who.” Scorpia lifts the phone above her head. Catra drops her smile, crossing her arms.

“That’s not fair. You’re six feet. I’m five-one.”

“I just need you to be prepared for what I’m going to show.”

Catra jumps, reaching for her phone. She huffs, not being able to grab it. “Fine, I’m all ears.”

Scorpia purses her lips together, half hiding a smile, as she lowers her arm and hands the phone to Catra. She anxiously flips the phone around, gasping at the information shining back at her face. She breathes out sharply and chuckles, stumbling backwards like she’s heard life changing news.

“Adora Greyskull is on a gay dating app?”

“I can’t believe it either.”

“Who’s Adora Greyskull?” Entrapta asks from afar.

“You don’t remember. That’s the girl who-”

“Did that awful thing to me. Yes, everyone remembers,” Catra cuts off.

Entrapta tilts her head, having no clue of what either of them are talking about.

“The girl who kinda destroyed my life in high school?”

Entrapta blinks. 

“She’s the whole reason we’re friends!”

Entrapta stares at Catra for a minute. “Ohhh, that girl.”

Catra frustratedly brushes hair off her face. “Yes, that girl. ”

“Are you going to talk to her?” Scorpia asks.

“Yeah. I’m going to tell her that she’s on the wrong app.”

“What?” Entrapta and Scorpia ask at the same time.

“Guys, she’s obviously confused. She wasn’t the brightest in high school. That stupid hair poof she wore every day probably started cutting off circulation to her brain or something. She probably downloaded this thinking it was the straight version, despite the two women kissing each other on the app logo. There’s no way she deliberately downloaded it.”

Catra accepts the match and opens up the message section to send Adora a quick heads up. She shouldn’t, and most of the bones in her body are telling her to stop and let Adora be hit on by a bunch of lesbians before she realizes what’s going on. But a very little part of her brain tells her to be the bigger person and help the poor girl out, despite how funny the alternative would be.

Guitargirl: Hey

Swiftieadora: hey!

Guitargirl: You do realize that this is a gay dating app lol

Guitargirl: I think you have the wrong one

Swiftieadora: what makes you say that?

Swiftieadora: do we know each other?

Catra gasps and maniacally laughs.

“Guys. She doesn’t remember me. She just asked if we’ve met before.”

Scorpia’s jaw drops. “How can she not remember?”

“Of course she forgot, what did I expect?”

Guitargirl: Uh…yeah. I’m pretty sure we went to high school together

Swiftieadora: oh, i blocked out most of high school lol

Guitargirl: I tried too lol. Not the best memories

Swiftieadora: tell me about it

Guitargirl: …so you’re really not on the wrong app?

Swiftieadora: nope. i’m trying to sort some stuff out tbh. thought this might be a good way to start ig

“Oh my god. She really doesn’t remember anything.” Catra pauses, thinking. Scorpia sees the mischievous cogs turning in her head. “What if we made this dating app roulette round a little longer than usual?”

Scorpia raises her eyebrows. “Go on.”

“What if, and I’m just spitballing here, I go on dates with her, hypothetically get her to fall in love with me, and then uproot her life? And, more importantly, get some closure for myself.”

“What would you do?” Entrapta asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe be an obnoxious girlfriend, say no when she proposes, call her up at one of my shows and out her. Something totally toxic.”

“You’re putting a lot of faith in her falling in love with you.”

“Come on, Scorp.” Catra gestures to herself. “It’s me. I’m in a band, I can sing, I look really gay, and I’m a flirt. I can make anyone fall in love with me.”

Scorpia rolls her eyes. “I’m on board with screwing with her, but you also have to not fall in love with her. It was to be a one way street.”

“Fall in love with Greyskull? Good one,” Catra mocks.

“Seriously. If your hypothetical plan is going to work, you can’t even like her as a person.”

“Okay, how about this. I’ll be on the frontlines. I’ll do all the, physical, work, all the emotionally manipulative stuff. You guys can plan how to take her down and act as a failsafe if I get too close. If you think I’m starting to get attached, then you can just take her out early.”

Scorpia and Entrapta look at each other, telepathically communicating their ideas and doubts. Scorpia’s eyes are full of worries.

“I promise I won’t do anything super bad. Nothing without consent, naturally. I’m not a monster. And you guys don’t have to do anything illegal. Just something that will embarrass her in front of the entire campus. Something humane.”

“I don’t think what you’re doing can be described as humane,” Scorpia counters. “I’m in, though. Why not mess with her? She deserves it, right?”

“That’s the attitude I'm looking for. Entrapta?” Catra points to the purple-haired girl.

Entrapta purses her lips together as she thinks. “Well, it would be a good little experiment. The Limits and Boundaries of Vengeful Young Adults. Has a nice ring to it.”

“I’m taking that as you’re in, too!”

Swiftieadora: this may be a little forward, but i think you’re cute. do you wanna grab coffee sometime?

Catra chuckles, her evil, mischievous giggles.

Guitargirl: Sounds like a plan to me ;)

New mission: fuck over Adora. Catra grins at her phone, smirking at all the evil possibilities. “Hey, Adora.”

Chapter Text

Adora was always nervous the first week of class. She never knew what to expect from her professors or classmates. Would they be nice and respectful or obsessive assholes? It was fifty-fifty at this smaller college. She thought having some classes with her best friends would make the semester go smoother, but even on the first day Adora can tell it’s going to be a long few months. 

As they walk from the dorms to their first class together, Bow rambles on about his summer with his dad’s and how they want him to continue on with their family legacy. Adora is half paying attention to Bow and mainly thinking about her summer, trying not to think of some parts more than others. Glimmer has her full attention on Bow, listening and nodding to his every word.

Part of summer Adora is trying to forget is Glimmer’s obsession with their guy friend. Adora stayed with Glimmer and her parents over summer, assuming it was probably better than staying with Bow’s thirteen brothers, two dads, and a library mansion that needed to be dusted everyday. She was wrong. Adora would have taken becoming a maid over Glimmer’s obsessive behavior.

“And Bow texted me a little heart at the end of this text,” Glimmer said at one point over summer. “What do you think it means?”

“What color was it?” Adora asked, adding fuel to the fire.

“Green,” Glimmer said, pausing for a second after. “That’s not the platonic one, right?”

They’re all platonic, Adora thought. They’re heart emojis. It’s not like he texted her a ring with lots of hearts, or an eggplant. “I wouldn’t know, Glim. I don’t speak delusional.”

Glimmer is usually much more dignified than how she’s been acting the past few months. She spent most of her life training in some form of martial arts. From what her mother had told Adora over summer, her parents put her in at a young age to stop her from being so impulsive. It helped, a little. Glimmer has always disciplined herself, pushing to her limits physically when working out or practicing. But when it comes to emotions and feelings, she can be a little addictive? Neurotic? Adora doesn’t know the best way to describe it. Glimmer is very passionate and knows what she wants, but it can sometimes come off as too much to handle. That’s why Adora is one of her closest friends; Adora can handle whatever Glim throws at her.

“Wow, Bow,” Glimmer says, snapping Adora back into reality. “That sounds really fun.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Bow says nonchalantly. “Adora, you do anything fun over summer?”

Adora freezes for a second, causing her to fall behind her friends. She takes a leap forward to catch up, trying to hide her anxiety at the same time. 

The other half of summer she’s trying to forget flashes in her mind. That sinking feeling, those odd thoughts, the joy she felt as she saw two women holding hands as they walked down the street. How all of this felt so unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

Adora spent the summer researching her feelings, jotting everything she figured out in a small notebook that she debated on burning at some point. She didn’t go out with her friends, instead she spent most nights staring at her ceiling, overthinking what was going on, and watching queer films and shows. And taking too many “Am I gay?” quizzes. All in secret, of course. This was something new, and scary. She tried to ignore it, but somehow pushing it down made it ten times louder and unavoidable. It felt better to give into it than run away. And that thought terrified her, so much so that she did burn her journal right before summer ended.

“Uh, not much,” Adora responds after a few seconds of silence. She returns to a normal walking pace.

Bow side-eyes her, but doesn’t say anything in response.

“Um, excuse you. You hung out with me all summer. Of course you had fun. Don’t you remember going to the movies and the mall every week?”

Oh, Adora remembers going to the mall. Passing certain stores made her face flush, like she was suddenly a pervert for looking at plastic, faceless mannequins wearing suggestive bras and underwear. And how she remembered feeling the same way as a child. Not because it was embarrassing to wear stuff like that, but because she shouldn’t be looking. Glimmer or whoever she was with could go look without shame. Adora couldn’t for some reason, like it was forbidden.

And some of the movies Adora and Glimmer went to go watch weren’t helping Adora feel better. None of them were adult movies, per se, Adora just found some of the actresses extremely beautiful, differently than how she saw other people. With her friends, she could preach on and on about how beautiful they were. Glimmer with her curves, confidence, and colorful hair. Bow with his athletic build and more feminine features and energy. They were both extremely gorgeous. Her friends didn’t make her feel things like the actresses did. Adora came to realize the word she was searching for was sexy. She thought the actresses were sexy.

“You guys went to the mall every week?” Bow asks.

“What else were we supposed to do? There’s nothing to do here.”

“You could have hiked, gone to the library, or my library, tried a new hobby, done summer school-”

“Okay, we get it Bow. We acted like dumb teenagers. But we did both work a little over the break.”

“Glim, cleaning your garage wasn’t real work,” Adora argues.

Glimmer wiggles one finger in protest. “It does if you get paid.”

Adora rolls her eyes. Bow laughs. “Seems like you guys had a productive summer.”

In perfect timing as their conversation comes to a lull, the three of them make it to their ten a.m. lecture, finding three open spots next to each other in the back right of the classroom. They all sit down, Glimmer on the left, Bow in the middle, and Adora on the right. Adora thought for a moment of sitting between the two lovebirds so they would actually focus for once, but then she considered the alternative. Sitting in the middle would also mean they would talk over her, pretending like she’s not there. She decides the end would be the lesser of two evils.

Adora and Glimmer pull out their laptops, Bow pulls out a notebook. Whenever the girls make fun of him for being old fashioned, he says that he’ll get his revenge when they compare their next test’s scores. And he’s always right, but it won’t stop them from remarking how much he’s like his dads.

“Not an insult,” he says.

“Never said it was,” Adora remarks.

They settle in, preparing their pages or docs for the next hour and a half. Many of their classmates pass by them like each student is on autopilot. Adora pays no attention to them, except when one student opens the door into the room and freezes. The change catches Adora’s eye, and she turns towards the person. Her eyes widen when she recognizes the girl, the one she’s been flirting with on that stupid dating app she downloaded.

While Adora’s face is full of terror, the other girl is smiling (somewhat mischievously Adora thinks) like she’s happy to see her in person. Adora feigns a smile, trying to be as cool as possible.

“Hey,” Catra says as she walks by.

“Hey,” Adora responds, quickly turning her head down back to her computer. Through the corner of her eyes, she watches Catra as she walks closer to the front of the room and sits in the middle of a row. Adora sighs a breath of relief. She couldn’t handle talking to Catra right now, as much as she wanted to flirt a little bit. Adora wasn’t out to anyone, not even her closest friends. They can know when she knows more. It’s too early to even know if what she’s feeling is real, or if it was some summer fantasy that has been agonizing her every waking moment of her life. But it could be fake, who knows. Certainly not Adora.

“Who was that?” Bow asks.

Adora shrugs. “No clue.”

The professor starts the lecture shortly, and Adora tries to calm herself down, taking notes to distract herself. When Glimmer pays attention to the lecture (she was searching for more body glitter online and adding it to her cart), she lets out a small gasp.

“That’s Professor Netossa!” She whispers.

“Yeah, you just missed her whole introduction,” Adora says.

“I had her wife, Dr. Spinerella, last semester.” Glimmer frowns a little. “It’s going to be a long semester.”

“Why?” Bow asks.

“Even her wife says she likes to talk,” Glimmer explains quietly.

Glimmer was right, Professor Netossa spent ninety-percent of the first lesson talking about herself, her life, and her credentials. She specifically had a five minute speech about if anyone called her Natasha they would either be kicked out or would have a five page essay due on the importance of speech and pronunciation. Adora sarcastically thinks that’s fitting for their lower-level psychology class.

Adora’s attention faded in and out in the lecture. When she felt something was somewhat important, she wrote it down. But her main attention was finding Catra in the crowd. Every so often, she found Catra was looking at her subtly. Her head was slightly turned enough to see if Adora was looking at her. When they both realized they were looking at each other, Catra would smile and they would both look away, only to slowly turn back to each other.

“Is there something wrong with your neck, Adora?” Bow asks. “You’ve got a kink in it or something?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Adora stammers out. “Didn’t sleep well last night.”

Bow nods his head, his eyes lingering on Adora for a moment, and eventually his focus returns back to Netossa. 

Their professor concludes the lesson on herself a few minutes early. All the students shuffle their stuff back into their bags and leave the room. Adora, Glimmer, and Bow have different classes for the rest of the day. They say their goodbyes, promising to meet up at lunch or later in the week. Adora hangs back, pretending to have forgotten something, hoping to catch Catra before she goes. As Adora walks to where Catra was sitting, she is greeted with an empty classroom. She sighs, knowing she probably blew her chance.

And her phone dings.

“You flirted with Adora in class?” This is the first thing Scorpia asks when her, Catra, and Entrapta all meet up in Scorpia’s dorm in the afternoon. No asking how each other’s classes and days were, no how are they, just straight to the point. Catra had texted the two of them the news and asked to meet up when they were all free.

Catra sets her bag down on Scorpia’s desk and sits in her rolling chair, bringing her feet up on the chair sitting crossed legged. “We have a class together. This literally couldn’t be more perfect. And it’s a two-hundred level class so I don’t have to really pay attention to what's going on, I can just flirt with Adora the whole time.” Catra pauses, shifting her tone from enthusiastic to concerned. “There’s one issue, though. Her friends are in the class, too. Which puts a brick wall between Adora and I.”

Scorpia groans. “I hate that little group.”

Catra nods. “Especially the fact that they do everything together. How am I supposed to get a second with Adora if they’re always around?”

“Wait, how did you flirt with her if you never got a second with Adora?” Scorpia asks.

“I would look at her, look away, look back, bat my eyes and smile.”

“Ah, yes, like they did in the fifties.”

Catra opens her hands up in protest, letting them fall to her slides. “What else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t exactly walk over to her and ask her to fuck me. I’m gonna be stuck texting her on that app forever.”

“What if you try to study with the three of them?” Entrapta chimes in.

The two girls look at her, almost forgetting she was there. Entrapta had slid her way onto Scorpia’s bed, working on some assignment on her computer.

“Study with them? ‘Trapta, I can’t think of them without rolling my eyes. How am I supposed to last a whole session without making fun of them?”

Entrapta shrugs, still looking at her computer. “All four of you go to the same class. That means you have at least one thing in common. Study groups are a good way to connect with people. And given the fact that you’ll focus on flirting, I highly doubt you’ll be paying attention. I’m betting you’ll need that extra study session.”

“Entrapta, most people don’t become besties in those groups,” Scorpia adds.

Entrapta finally looks up from her screen. “It worked on you two.”

Catra slightly shrugs in agreement. “It could work, but it’s the first week of class. We don’t need to prep for anything soon, but I’ll keep the idea.”

“Okay, okay. If you can only use your eyes to get her attention in person, you’ll just have to woo her over text. Maybe if you get a date she’ll introduce you to her friends eventually and you’ll be in the clear.”

“She’s super closeted, remember? I’m never going to meet her friends.” Catra is disappointed at the fact, because it means she has less access to Adora's feelings. Her vulnerable points. Her Achilles heel. “Do I just text her and ask her out?”

Scorpia shakes her head, though Catra can tell she’s not sure what’s the best plan of action. “No, you’ve got to make her want it. She has to be the one to initiate the date. Which she already did, but now you both actually have to go out and plan for it.”

“Maybe I can get her to go to one of my shows,” Catra muses.

“Too soon for that,” Scorpia advises. “Go out for coffee like Adora wanted and get intel on her. How much of high school she remembers and how deep she is in the closet.”

“You’re making it sound like I’m going on a secret mission.”

Scorpia raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you, though?”

Catra groans, pulling out her phone. Little did her friends know that Catra had already been messaging Adora throughout most of the day. She not only made flirtatious eye contact with her in class, but messaged Adora right after (a little too soon part of Catra’s brain thinks). However, Adora responded almost instantly, and they’ve been chatting all day in between classes.

When Catra opens up the app, she’s reminded that she was in the middle of a conversation with Adora before abruptly shutting her phone off as she got to Scorpia’s. She thinks of the quickest lie to keep the conversation going.

Guitargirl: Sorry my phone died

Swiftieadora: oh no worries lol

Catra waves her friends over. They both walk over and stand at her sides, Scorpia on the left and Entrapta on the right.

Guitargirl: I feel like I don’t know you that well. I wanna get to know you more

Guitargirl: Like what’s your favorite subject? Your favorite scent. What’s your favorite Taylor Swift song?

Swiftieadora: oh i don’t really listen to her stuff much

Catra lifts her head from her phone and makes a confused scowl. Entrapta and Scorpia are equally confused looking at the message

Guitargirl: Your username literally has swiftie in it??

Swiftieadora: ohhh. yeah i forgot her fans were called that

Swiftieadora: nah my username is named after my horse. his full name is swiftwind, but i call him swiftie for short

Catra snorts. “Guys! She’s a horse gay!” She covers her mouth to hide her excitement/embarrassment. She restlessly moves in her seat, kicking her legs and somewhat gently hitting Scorpia, until she calms down.

“Is there something wrong with being a horse gay?” Scorpia asks, giving Catra the suspicion that she too owns a horse.

“No, no,” Catra half-heartedly reassures. “It’s not bad, it’s just not what I was expecting for Adora. I’d assume she’d be a jock gay, like the kind who are really into soccer or rugby. ” Catra adds a (bad) British accent for emphasis.

“Adora liking horses makes sense for her,” Entrapta adds. Scorpia and Catra both turn to her, tilting their heads in for Entrapta to go on. She looks at them blankly until Scorpia asks her to explain what she means. “She probably was a competitive horseback rider at some point in her life given her athletic build and her family’s rich disposition.”

“Great. That means she’s even more pretentious than we thought,” Catra replies.

Swiftieadora: ik the name is stupid

Swiftieadora: i got him when i was six

Swiftieadora: pls don’t make fun of me

Guitargirl: You had a horse in kindergarten? My life is so unfair

Swiftieadora: it be like that? sorry idk

Catra rolls her eyes, mocking Adora aloud in a squeaky voice. “ It be like that, blah blah blah. Oh look at me, I’m Adora Greyskull, I have six ponies at the stables and eight Ferrais in my mansion’s garage. ” Entrapta and Scorpia feign some laughs.

Guitargirl: Okay okay, hold on. I vaguely remember you being super into sports in high school. Does that mean you were a horseback rider at some point in your life?

Swiftieadora: …i’m not answering that

Guitargirl: That means you WERE 

Swiftieadora: i can neither confirm nor deny that’s true

Guitargirl: Do you regret it?

Swiftieadora: no i’m not like embarrassed by it or anything

Guitargirl: Well you should be

Scorpia nudges Catra in the ribs. “Hey! Belittling her is not going to get you any flirting points. You’ve got to be nicer if you want to fake date her and then ruin her life.”

“But I’ve got to be a little mean for her to keep interest,” Catra argues. Scorpia gives her a stern look, and Catra sighs giving in. “Fine, I’ll apologize.”

Guitargirl: Sorry that was too mean

Guitargirl: Flirting fail lol

Swifitieadora: nah it’s working

“Interesting,” Catra says, drawing the word out and panning her head to Scorpia. “Adora likes a little bit of bullying.”

“She better get used to it,” Scorpia mutters.

Catra goes back to Adora, putting on the extra charm now.

Guitargirl: Oh?

Swiftieadora: just a little, ig

Swiftieadora: that would have worked better in real life so you could have seen my face

Swiftieadora: it’s working a lot

Swiftieadora: if you couldn’t tell

Guitargirl: You’re an idiot

Guitargirl: I like it

Swiftieadora: would you be interested in finally going out with this idiot?

Catra grins triumphantly. Stage one complete. Now, onto the next one.

Guitargirl: Yes. Very much.

Chapter Text

Catra insisted on Adora deciding when and where they would go out for their first date. Adora brainstormed for two whole days before responding back to Catra. It’s not as easy as just picking a spot. She had to go somewhere that was intimate but not too romantic because one, it was a first date, and two, she couldn’t let anyone suspect she was on a date with a girl. Yet, Adora reminds herself. She’ll come out eventually once she’s more secure with her identity.

Picking a spot was no picnic. Oh, a picnic would have been nice, Adora thinks, interrupting her own thoughts. The library was too casual, though no one would have thought it was a date (Catra included), but a boat ride on the lake near campus would be too romantic. Adora eventually decided on going to a small coffee shop, one she knew was queer friendly and not a big corporation. It was the right balance of intimacy. Plus, she could pay for Catra’s drink easily without worrying about breaking her bank account.

Adora opens the door to Camp Coffee Co. and a little bell rings above her, announcing her arrival for everyone in the shop to hear. The baristas welcome her in and she gives a quick smile back, trying to hide as much as she could as she finds a seat. She sits down at a table for two against the wall, far away from the window. The seating area isn’t large, maybe twenty-to-thirty people could sit in here if they squished themselves into the booths. It should make it easy for Catra to find her. Adora pulls out her phone and messages Catra, giving her a heads up on where she’s seated just in case. 

As she waits, she studies the room, understanding why it’s called camp. The walls are green with layers of silhouette pine trees in darker shades of green, mimicking a forest. Fake tree limbs (which Adora thinks are from old Christmas trees) poke out randomly from the ceiling. There’s little tiny animals painted around the room, but they’re not typical ones. They’re all in costumes and have little sayings. A bear with long acrylic nails on has an air bubble next to it saying “Too glam to give a damn.” A robin with extravagantly long lashes says “Love is love, hunty.” Adora’s personal favorite is a horse with a pink cowboy hat on saying “Take me back to my club.” She doesn’t understand what club the horse is talking about, but she thinks the horse is cute. As she looks around the room more, she finds strings of flags hanging on the counter like birthday decorations, some are even in the trees, hidden like they’re part of a scavenger hunt. It’s all very overwhelming, but at the same time very welcoming. Adora takes pictures of the decor to laugh and reminisce over later.

The bell above the door rings. Adora snaps her head over in the direction, but her excitement fades once she realizes the woman walking in isn’t Catra. She sighs, looking back down at her phone, and someone beside her chuckles. Adora practically jumps at the sound.

Catra reels her head back as she laughs. “That was so depressing.”

“Catra! How long have you been standing there?”

“I ended up coming in right behind you. I was gonna go up and scare you, but you looked so cute admiring the decorations, I figured I’d give you a second to take it all in before messing with you.”

“Well, aren’t you kind?”

Catra sets her bag down and sits across from Adora. Adora shuffles in her seat, trying to match Catra’s suave vibe. She takes a second to compare their outfits. Catra looks like she works here. She’s in a muted blue and black flannel with black ripped jeans. The baristas are wearing similar outfits except in green, no ripped jeans, and their aprons. Catra’s dressed more casually, like how she does in class. Adora dressed up a little more. Dressed up isn’t the right word, but she didn’t wear her typical red sweatshirt and black leggings like she usually did. Tonight, she found her favorite red windbreaker with the black and white stripe on each arm, wide leg light blue jeans, and her fancy all white sneakers. In her analysis, she realizes that her closet may have a theme.

“You look good in that outfit,” Catra compliments, as if reading Adora’s mind.

Her face somewhat flushes. “You look good, too.”

Catra grins, looking away for half a second then returning her gaze. Adora puts her hands on the table so she can comfortably lean forward. Catra does the same, putting one fist underneath her chin and her other arm relaxed out. Her eyes trace around the room, looking at all the decor and random stickers everywhere. Her eyebrows furrow ever so slightly and another smile creeps up from the corner of her mouth.

“Wow, they have a lot of the flags here, don’t they? I can spot the majority of them,” Catra says. She points around the room. “There’s the gay flag, the poly flag, I think that’s the omni one, ace and aro, aroace, trans, and oh–” Catra stops and looks directly at Adora while she points and says “–there’s the lesbian flag.”

Adora fakes a smile. She doesn’t know if she’s a lesbian or bi or…any of the other identities she doesn’t know of. She’s not comfortable labeling herself yet. It’s all too new. Not that she should bring that up. Right now is about fun and getting to know Catra.

“I actually don’t know all of the identities,” Adora admits. Catra raises an eyebrow. “Growing up in my area, you were either gay or straight. There was no bi or, whatever else you said before.”

“Would you like a crash course in queer identities?” Catra asks. “I’m kinda an expert.”

“It would probably be a good idea seeing how clueless I am.”

“Buy me a drink and I’ll teach you.”

They stand up, grabbing their bags and head towards the counter. Adora doesn’t get coffee often and doesn’t know what to get. Catra admits she’s a coffee fiend and gives Adora a good recommendation. All the drinks have ridiculous names. “Glamping,” “Forest Angel,” “Serving Hunt” (which Catra laughs at and proceeds to explain the joke afterwards). Catra goes up first to order with Adora following second. She hands her card to the cashier, and a little voice in the back of her head panics wondering if they know each other. Adora tries her best to silence her anxiety as she takes her card back and thanks the worker.

They wait for their drinks, grab them when they’re finished, and sit back down in their seats. Catra shifts around so her back is against the wall while sipping her drink, getting a full view of the room. Adora does the same. She feels like she should be taking notes.

“Okay, you see that flag right there?” Catra points to the pink, white, and orange flag. “That’s the lesbian flag. There’s a whole thing on color symbolization, but I don’t remember most of it. All I know is that pink represents girls, or non-men.” She switches to the flag next to it. “That is the asexual flag. That’s for people who feel little to no sexual attraction. And the green version of it is the aromantic flag. Same concept but for romantic attraction.” Catra goes on and on describing each flag and giving a little synopsis for each of them. Adora tries to retain as much as she could, but she knows she’ll forget it all.

“So,” Catra says, changing the subject. “When did you figure out you’re gay?”

“Since the end of April, when last semester finished. How about you?”

“Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She’s hot. What made you realize you were gay?”

Adora shrugs. It’s not like there was one specific thing that made her realize. There wasn’t a person who made her question everything (though, later she did realize a few of her “girl crushes” were actual crushes). It just kinda happened. “Everything just kinda clicked one day and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” Adora sips her drink to calm her nerves. It doesn’t since it’s coffee.

“So you never suspected it before?”

Adora shakes her head mid sip. “Nope, I had no clue until a few months ago.”

Catra’s face twitches slightly, and Adora notices she’s making the whole conversation about herself. She searches for something to change the subject.

“Uh, what’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t yet?” Adora blurts out.

Catra shifts backwards slightly. “What?”

“Like a bucket list of some sort.” Adora stops and apologizes. “Sorry. I looked up what to talk about on dates and tried to memorize a few questions, just in case.”

Catra gives a sympathetic smile. Adora isn’t sure if Catra smiles a lot or if she’s a little too fixated on the girl’s lips all the time.

“It’s okay,” Catra reassures. She sits for a second, like she’s unsure what to say. “I take it you haven’t been on a lot of dates? I’m not judging, I haven’t either.”

“No. I haven’t been on a date since high school, and it wasn’t a real date. This guy just took me to the movies and gave me a quick peck on the lips during a romantic scene.”

“That seems like a real one to me.”

“Well, I don’t think it counts unless both parties are interested. And even then, I was not interested. I thought I had to go out with him.”

“Was it someone from our school?” Catra teasingly asks.

Adora’s mouth falls open, searching for words to protest. Instead she rambles off. “Like it matters? That was in ninth grade.”

“Well, this is the first time I’m hearing of Adora Greyskull dating someone in high school, and I used to pride myself on knowing all the gossip. Benefits of having quiet, observant friends.”

Adora sighs, giving in. “It was SeaHawk.” Catra’s eyes go wide in shock. “We dated for like a week at the beginning of freshman year. It was basically a middle school relationship. The most we did was hug in the hall. I broke up with him right after because I wasn’t ‘ready to commit.’”

Catra chuckles again, Adora following shortly after. “What? It’s true!”

“No ninth grader is ready to commit, that’s what makes it funny! You’ve been twenty-one for eight years now.” Catra’s enthusiasm dies down, and she calms herself. “God, high school sucked. The only good things were the parties.”

“Yeah, I never went to a lot of those.”

Catra stops sipping for one second and then finishes. “You didn’t? I swear we went to a few together. Well, not together but we were there at the same time.”

Adora shakes her head. “None that I can think of.”

“I specifically remember you spilling a drink on your shirt. And the fact that you wore your letterman jacket and a white shirt to a party like the true jock you were.”

“Is that what happened to that shirt?” Adora asks. “I’ve always wondered what that stain was. Maybe I did go to one. Yeah, I did! To be honest, I don’t remember a lot from that night. It was the first time I really drank and I got a little overexcited. I blacked out and was so hungover the next morning.”

“So you don’t remember anything?” Catra asks.

Adora chuckles nervously, unsure of this conversation. “What are all these questions for? Did something happen? Did I do something stupid?”

“Yes,” Catra says quickly. “I mean-no. Really stupid, but nothing bad. You just tried to start a dance off with all the other drunk people and it created this drunken flashmob. It was quite a sight.”

Adora blushes embarrassedly. “Maybe it’s a good thing I don’t remember anything. I know for a fact I’m not a good dancer.”

“That’s a lie. You kicked everyones’ asses in that battle.”

Adora laughs at the compliment. “So, post-high school, what do you like to do?”

“I like music, specifically guitar and sometimes I sing. I’m actually in a band.”

Adora’s eyes grow wide. “You’re in a band? That’s awesome.”

Catra puts a hand out to stop her. “Don’t get too excited. We’re not that good and we rarely write any original songs. We’re all college students so we don’t have the time. We mainly just cover popular songs at the moment.”

“Still, that’s cool. Do you guys have a big following?”

“Sometimes. Depends on how many drinks the people in the bar had. One to two, yeah we’ve got a small following. Three or more, we sound like goddesses.”

“That can’t be true,” Adora drags out.

“It very much is. We only do this for fun, especially because we exclusively cover queer artists. Hearing the crowd sing along to beloved gay anthems and seeing them just be free is what makes it rewarding. Also, sometimes people tip us or give us free drinks after shows, which is nice.”

Adora nods along. “Sounds fun.” Her answer is short, but she means it. That sounds like a really great environment, not for Adora, though. She considers being in a room full of out, gay people and she can only think of how alienated she would feel, how distant she would be. Maybe after she’s out.

“You should come sometime,” Catra invites.

“I’ll think about it,” Adora responds.

Catra’s cockiness fades slightly. She pulls out her phone to check the time. As she does, one of the barista announces they’ll be closing in five.

“It’s getting late, and I have to get Professor Netossa’s quiz done.” Catra starts packing up her stuff. “This was fun. We should get together another time.”

Adora feels the lack of sincerity in her voice. She says something, hoping to save the date. “Can I walk you home?”

Catra stops. “What?”

“Can I walk you back to your dorm?” she repeats.

“Yes?” Catra asks.

“Okay,” Adora nods.

They grab their stuff, thank the baristas, and walk home. Adora uses some of the lines she memorized to keep the conversation going when there’s a lull. Catra asks more questions about Adora, some about high school but the majority about what she’s doing now. The more Adora talks, the more she wants to know more about Catra. Whenever she asks Catra a question, she gets little out of it. Hell, Adora has told Catra her biggest secret when they first started messaging and Catra won’t even tell Adora her favorite color. Adora appreciates that Catra wants to really get to know her, but Adora also needs to get to know Catra. Maybe she’s just like that, or maybe that’s normal for a first date and Adora tends to overshare. 

Adora pauses her overthinking when they get back to Catra’s dorm. Catra turns on her toes to face Adora.

“I had fun tonight,” she admits again. Adora detects more sincerity in her voice. She hopes her chances can be saved.

“Me too,” Adora says.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around,” Catra says, drawing out her words. She shifts between her feet, taking one small step towards the gate.

Adora decides she needs to be bold. She wants to be bold, she wants to, of course, and she decides to ignore her worries for a second. As Catra turns away, she brushes their fingertips and pulls Catra back, interlocking their hands. Adora pulls them close. 

Adora isn’t necessarily tall, but compared to Catra she is. Adora has to look down slightly when they stand this close. Catra drops her eyes down to Adora’s lips, then back up to Adora’s eyes.

“Can I, can I kiss you?” Adora nervously asks. She feels her ears turn red as she asks.

Without missing a beat, Catra says, “Yes.”

Adora leans in first, Catra follows her lead, slightly rising on her toes. Adora tilts her head and pushes her lips onto Catra’s. She kisses Adora back, squeezing her hand. Adora pulls away, and Catra still has her eyes closed. When she opens them, she smiles.

“See you in class,” Catra says, winking and walking away.

Adora’s body feels warm, and the phantom of Catra’s lips are still on her. Her brain and body are so disconnected that Adora can only raise one arm and give a wobbly wave, muttering some arrangement of vowels. She watches Catra get into her building and starts walking back to her room afterwards. 

Her first true kiss. Her first kiss with a girl. It felt good, which Adora thinks is scary and thrilling at the same time. Adora pulls out her phone, dying to text her friends the news. She stops in the middle of the street when she remembers she can’t. She could if she wanted to have that conversation with them. Glimmer would finally be proud of Adora for having her first real kiss and Bow would lose his mind, but their excitement would have to wait. Just in case.

Catra gets to her bed and practically face plants into it. She’s exhausted, no her brain is. She didn’t realize how hard it would be to keep Adora talking about herself and how to keep asking the right questions. While her face is in her pillow, she uses her arm to search for her phone. Once she finds it, she grabs it and lifts her face up, needing to update the trio about the night.

“Meeting now,” Catra texts, sending out a facetime invite. “First date complete.”

Entrapta is the first to respond. As she pops up on the screen, Catra is greeted with Entrapta’s lab uniform and crazy, messy purple hair. Nothing out of the normal, but it’s still a lot to take in visually. Scorpia accepts the invite not long after. She’s in her dorm, her faint classical studying music playing in the background. She’s the first to speak.

“How’d it go?” Scorpia asks.

“It wasn’t the best first date I’ve ever been on.” She shifts the pillow under her chest so she can prop herself up on her arms, more comfortably. “It was really awkward. And a little boring. The poor girl didn’t know what she was doing, and she was so nervous that someone was gonna see her. You guys should have seen her looking around at the baristas and at every person that walked in.”

“Did you get any info out of her?” Scorpia probes.

Catra gives her friends the highlights or sparknotes of the night. Adora didn’t fully understand that she was gay until a few months ago (at least to her knowledge), Catra confirmed that Adora doesn’t remember the party and lost her cool when talking about it, and Adora didn’t like Catra asking so many questions. She did lay it on a little thick, Catra thinks in retrospect.

“Let me write this all down,” Entrapta says, leaving the screen. Vague crashing sounds come from the speaker.

Catra leaves out how shocked she felt when Adora offered to walk her home. It threw Catra off. She expected Adora to be kinda like a frat guy; uninvolved and uninterested in the person they were with. She almost expected Adora to show up in some sorority gear or with some of her friends. She didn’t believe Adora could be a perfect gentlewoman. Or maybe Catra set her bar too low.

“Oh, and she kissed me at the end. Finally took a hint,” Catra casually blurts.

“She kissed you?” Scorpia practically shouts. 

Entrapta zooms back into frame. “How was it?”

“It was-” Awful. Disgusting. The worst thing she’s ever done. That’s how Catra wants to describe it. However, it wasn’t necessarily those things. Yeah, hearing that Adora’s only kiss was a quick peck from her freshman year “boyfriend” makes sense. And if this plan actually works, Catra would definitely need to give Adora some tips, for Catra’s sake of course. If she was going to be kissing this girl indefinitely (at the moment), Catra feels like she should get some enjoyment out of it. 

Adora’s kiss was quick, for one, but had potential. Catra instinctively yearned for hands in her hair or arms around her waist. Her body didn’t do the usual routine when she kisses someone. No rapid heart rate, no ragged breathing, no time to explore the other girl’s body with her hands. She wanted to really screw with Adora and grab her ass, but that’s not what first dates do. Or at least what she expected Adora to think. That end of the night kiss was too quick and innocent, it was going to get Catra nowhere if she didn’t act soon. While she searches for words to describe it, Catra thinks of how the kiss would transform after Catra teaches her how to do it properly. She’ll eventually learn to enjoy, or at least, tolerate kissing her sworn enemy.

“-fast and needs work,” is how Catra finishes her thought. “It’s obvious she’s not very experienced.”

“That could work in your favor, though,” Scorpia muses.

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone gets a little too attached to the person they share their first kiss with, or their first lover .” Scorpia wiggles her eyebrows.

Catra fights back a gag, but Scorpia has a point. She always has a point. Adora has no other experience in the realm of dating, kissing, and sex. Her past boyfriend lasted a week, hardly counts as dating. Catra has so much potential. There’s so many ways to mess with her, ethically of course. And if she goes too far, then she can just say that’s how sapphics date, totally different and way too emotionally involved in the relationship. It’s not a lie, technically. There are U-haul lesbians out there.

“It’s true. First relationships are usually more intense because one or both people get over-attached as they have no previous experience and don’t understand the norms of dating. First heartbreaks are also so intense because they’re one, the first one to ever happen for the person, and two, less securely attached to their partner, making it feel like the world is truly ending,” Entrapta reinforces.

Scorpia smiles, happily and triumphantly.

“Okay, good,” Catra processes. “That means once I get Adora, attached to me, it’s almost a guarantee that I’ll break her heart and shatter her soul.”

“What exactly are you going to do?”

Catra shrugs. “I don’t know yet. I haven’t planned that far ahead. We don’t even know if Adora will want to go out again. But I mean, of course she will. Not to brag, but I’m not a person you kiss once. I turned on quite the charm.”

“Your faith in yourself will always amaze me,” Scorpia says, shaking her head.

Catra flips her hair back over each shoulder. “I’ll get the second date, no doubt about it.”

Chapter Text

There were some doubts, though. Adora hadn’t messaged Catra within ten hours of their date. Catra’s head is spiraling, constantly checking her phone waiting for Adora’s message. In the back of her head, she knows that it’s normal for people to not respond right away. It’s normal to even wait a few days to seem casual, chill, interested but not overly eager. But not for sapphics. Not for new sapphics who have never dated before. 

This is not how things are supposed to go.

Catra's fingers twitch around her phone as she thinks of what to do. This whole plan only works if Catra can convince Adora that she wants to be with Catra. Adora has to initiate everything, like last night with the kiss and how Adora asked Catra out. Should she just wait until Adora calls? That puts a wrench in her plan if Adora never messages back. Should she be bold and sit beside her during the next lecture to ask her out? But then Adora’s friends would know too soon and she might break things off. It wouldn’t have the same essence of, well, whatever she’s planning. Catra still doesn’t know her exact revenge plan, but it’s gonna be vengeful.

Catra throws her phone against her pillow, grunting in protest. She hops onto the foot of her bed and plops her back down. It shouldn’t be this hard to ruin someone’s life, she thinks. She shakes her head to change her though. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a date, she rethinks. Her mind battles itself with thoughts. Text her? Don’t text her? Is calling better instead? Should she send an emoji? Or, god forbid, a gif?

Her buzzes, and all that overthinking is just off. Catra sits up and lunges to her pillow, grabbing and unlocking her phone. She groans again, disappointed. Scorpia texted their group chat, asking for updates.

Catra: Not a single word from her

Scorp: maybe she’s waiting for your text???

Catra: She initiated the kiss. She should text back first

Trapta: That makes no sense ;(

Scorp: i agree!

Scorp: you also need to look like your interested

Trapta: *you’re

Scorp: not the time, Entrapta

Catra: I’m interested in ruining her life, isn’t that enough?

Scorp: Catraaa

Scorp: come on. you know you’ve gotta

Catra verbally sighs. It takes a lot of energy trying to seduce someone.

Catra: fine. i’ll call her later

Entrapta sends confetti. Catra rolls her eyes and shuts her phone off. She’ll call Adora eventually, just long enough to make Adora freak out for a sec. She finally gets to work on some of her assignments (many of them almost past their due date), watches some lecture videos, and finally, after eight hours of procrastination, Catra sends a well thought out message to Adora over their dating app.

Guitargirl: Hey

Swiftieadora: hey ;)

Wink emoji. She’s off to a good start.

Guitargirl: Last night was fun

Swiftieadora: agreed!

Guitargirl: Do you wanna go out again?

No response, for ten whole minutes. Catra’s heart stops. It wasn’t a very rigoring conversation, but Adora should have responded. And if she didn’t want to go out again, she could at least have the decency to say it. Catra notes her hypocrisy in her head. 

She debates on throwing away the whole plan. Send a nasty message to Adora, block her, and then carry on with her life like she was never obsessed in the first place. It would be easier than getting rejected. And when she starts to draft her “breakup” text, her phone lights up with a call from within the dating app. Catra hesitantly picks it up.

“Hello?”

Adora’s voice comes at her like a whirlwind of anxiety. “I wanna go out again, I just don’t know what I want to do or where I want to go. I think you’re really cool and all, I just, I just. Well, I don’t know. Maybe we could–no I don’t feel comfortable with that. Or how about–no, that doesn’t work with my schedule. What if we–”

“Slow down, Adora. What are you trying to say? Think of one piece.”

Adora sighs. “I want to go out, with you, again.” There’s a slight pause between each word she says, like she’s trying to convince herself of something.

“You’re hesitant,” Catra states. “I can hear it in your voice.”

Adora sighs. “It’s not that I don’t want to go out with you again, I just don’t wanna go out . I’m not ready for people to see me like that.”

“How would anyone know that you’re on a date? People aren’t going to think anything about it.”

“If you didn’t notice, I can’t stop smiling around you.”

Catra blushes. She didn’t notice that, with all her scheming and what not. “Well, what if our next date wasn’t out in public? We could have a movie or video game night. I can bring some of my favorite queer movies and binge them all night. Or I can kick your ass at Mario Kart.”

“I’m more of a Mario Party fan,” Adora admits, chuckling a bit.

“Then I’ll steal all of your stars,” Catra taunts.

“Is that a threat?” Adora asks, sarcastically.

“It’s a challenge.” Catra pauses. “So, do you wanna do that? I can come over to your dorm or you can come over to mine, maybe wednesday night?” Catra’s mind is chanting please please please.

Adora stirs on the other side of the phone. “Yeah, that sounds good. You can come over to my place. I got an old Wii system we can hook up.”

“Perfect,” Catra says, smitten. Her smile curls into a snarl. “I’ll bring the movies and you bring the games. And the food, or we can order something.”

At first glance, Adora’s dorm is cleaner than Catra thought it would be. Though, she still thinks Adora is a frat guy in disguise, so her bar was set low. Her dorm gives off frat guy vibes. She doesn’t have posters or anything on the walls, except a small whiteboard and horse themed calendar. Her desk is filled with old high school pictures of her and her soccer team. Her laptop, covered in stickers, lays underneath her flat screen tv on the table. She has a small gray (and itchy-looking) couch across from it. She’s thrown all of her extra storage bins and buckets onto her missing roommate’s bed. Adora is also one of those lucky students who doesn’t have a roommate. Catra is definitely going to use that to her advantage in the future.

Looking around more closely, Adora’s dorm is quite retro. She has a DVD and VHS player, a first gen Wii, and CD’s scattered around her desk and the shelves above them. It looks like a dull version of Catra’s childhood. If Adora had a tamagotchi or an iPod somewhere, Catra would have thought she traveled back in time.

All in all, this dorm room needs some love, and color. Adora’s sheets are even a dark navy blue. The only color comes from Adora’s classic red jacket and Catra’s mix-matched red, yellow, and blue button up shirt. They look cartoonish compared to the walls.

Adora waves Catra in, welcoming her to her humble abode, and directs Catra to put her stuff on the couch. Catra tosses her corduroy backpack down and stands there as Adora awkwardly makes finishing touches to the room, throwing away any obvious trash and straightening up her bed.

“It’s nice,” Catra lies through her teeth.

“Pft. Don’t lie. I know it’s horrendous.”

“Yeah, it looks like a car dealership in here,” Catra breathes out. 

Adora crosses her arms, standing right across from Catra. “Well, I used to put lots of effort into it the first few times. But I hated taking it all down every few months. And since I got my own room this semester I thought what the hell. Who’s ever gonna see the inside of this place except me?”

“Can’t argue with that,” Catra says, sitting down next to her bag. Adora quickly follows, grabbing one of the white pillows and placing it in her lap as she crosses her legs. “I take it you like retro stuff?”

Adora looks around at her stuff and shrugs, looking like she doesn’t really know how to answer. “Just things from home, I guess. I always liked to blow off steam with video games as a kid.”

Catra nods, letting the silence simmer between them.

“So, how do you like Professor Netossa?” Adora asks, breaking the short silence.

“She’s definitely interesting,” Catra says. “I’ve never seen a professor talk about their spouse so much. I mean, not to be a hater or anything, but I paid to learn about psychology, not how you and your wife met. As interesting as that story was.”

“Right,” Adora agrees. “She’s so knowledgeable about her field and yet I feel like I learn nothing from her.”

“Yes! God, maybe we could just drop out of her class.”

“I was thinking about it, honestly. Go take an intro to engineering class or something.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I heard Dr. Horadk is kinda an asshole.” 

The two girls go on about school, classes, and their other professors. Basic college banter about their majors and how it fits each other perfectly. Catra learns Adora is a sports med major and leads her to question why she needs a psychology class. Then again, music majors don’t need psych classes either, but she needs it to fulfill her sociology minor.

“What movies did you bring?” Adora asks, switching the subject. Catra switches her focus. It’s game time.

“Okay. I only brought one,” Catra says while fumbling through her bag. “This is like every baby gay’s first sapphic movie they watch. We’re watching it because it’s tradition and I’m inducting you to our little gay cult.” Catra stands up, pulling the DVD that she borrowed from one of her bandmates out of her bag, and hands it to Adora. She takes it gently in both hands, reads the title, and scrunches her face.

“ But I’m a Cheerleader ?” she asks.

Catra mimics a chef’s kiss. “A classic.”

“What’s it about?”

“A girl who gets sent to a conversion camp, accepts that she’s gay, and then finds a pretty hot girlfriend.” Catra pauses, stopping her cocky attitude. “Okay but seriously, it’s a great comedy that talks about realizing and accepting your gay. And that you don’t need to be fixed. It helped me a lot when I first came out.”

“But she’s a cheerleader? Can she even be gay?”

Catra can’t hide her grimace. “Uh, yeah. There’s lots of gay cheerleaders out there.” Catra snatches the DVD back and places it in the player across from them. Once the previews start on the TV, she heads back to the couch and sits next to Adora. “I was a cheerleader.”

Adora snaps her head to Catra. “You were a cheerleader?”

“You don’t remember anything about me from high school, do you?” Catra asks. “Yeah I was a cheerleader! I was one of the flyers ‘cause I was too short to base. I wanted to be on the dance team, but the department shut it down the year I was supposed to be president. Typical stuff shutting down the arts and funding the sports.” Catra snickers at Adora’s astonished face. “Adora, I was at every soccer game. How can you not remember?”

“I don’t know, I was really focused on playing, not so much about who else was there. Except scouts, of course. I was still really into trying to get scholarships and stuff.”

Catra nods along at Adora’s babbling but shushes her when the last commercial finishes. “Shh. It’s about to start.” She playful hits Adora arm, and Adora’s eyes linger where Catra touched her until the movie officially started.

While they watched the movie, Catra laughed and gave her own commentary on everything and Adora was focused in. Catra isn’t even sure if Adora heard anything she said. Halfway through, Catra ordered food for them and closer to the end she went down to go pick it up, not wanting to disturb Adora just for food. For kisses, maybe, but all her attempts to get closer to Adora and hint at the idea of possibly making out went right over Adora’s head. Catra kept gently scooching closer to Adora, even brushing their fingertips together a few times, but Adora didn’t notice any of it. It was pissing Catra off. Dinner was a good distraction.

She comes back to the dorm with their bag of Mexican food in her hand, using Adora’s keycard to get in, and sees that Adora looks more cartoonish than before. She’s cupping her face with her hand, elbows on knees as she leans forward and her eyes glued to the TV. Catra rolls her eyes but a small smile creeps at the corner of her lips. She lets the door slam behind her to get Adora’s attention. Adora jumps a little, snapping back into reality.

“You like the movie?” Catra asks, sitting down and placing the food between them. Adora thanks her for buying as she opens the bag and grabs her tacos. She quickly runs over to the “kitchen” and grabs them both a paper plate (like a true gentlewoman Catra remarks).

“I love it,” Adora admits before taking her first bite. She takes a huge chunk out of her first taco, and Catra cringes at the sight. Like a tiger attacking a zebra, but she does like seeing how enthusiastic Adora is about the movie. It’s cute.

“Did you get the message?” Catra asks, opening up her taco salad container.

Adora nods eagerly with her mouth closed but full. “Megan is just like me, except she was a cheerleader and I was a soccer player, but we’re going through the same thing. The scene where she breaks down and starts shouting ‘I’m a homosexual. I’m a homosexual!’ was just–” Adora mimics Catra’s chef kiss from earlier “–so good. I’ve been watching other gay movies and shows, but none of them live up to this one. Granted, I’ve been searching for them on free, sketchy websites, but still. I love this movie. I need more of your recommendations.”

“I would love to watch more stuff with you,” Catra flirts. “But right now, I want to kick your ass at Mario Party.”

Adora scoffs. “Right, as if. I was the master of this game as a kid.”

The end credits have been rolling for a while now, and Catra goes to shut off the player and takes her DVD back. She shoves it back in her bag. As she does, Adora takes another big bite of her food then sets up the game system, grabbing a remote for both her and Catra once she sits back down. Adora hands it to Catra, reminding her to put the safety strap on.

“The safety strap?” Catra asks. “You actually use those?”

“Well, yeah. You don’t want a remote in the TV,” Adora says in a matter of fact tone.

“We’re not like playing tennis, Adora. It’s Mario Party. Now I’m curious to see how you play this game if you need a safety strap.”

Adora tightens the band around her wrist, shrugging her shoulders. “Better safe than sorry.”

Adora takes Player 1 since she knows the system. Catra sits back relieved. For once in the past few weeks, she doesn’t have to be in control. Adora picks Princess Peach as her character, since they look similar, Adora says. Catra makes jokes about how Peach and Daisy’s dresses make the lesbian flag, and she considers picking Daisy just for that. But she picks Waluigi, who matches her vibe, Catra reasons.

Adora wasn’t lying when she said she was the master of this game. She’s won almost every minigame, has three stars, and close to a hundred coins. Obvious first place winner. Catra, on the other hand, is dead last. One star and fifteen coins to Waluigi’s name. They’re on the last five turns, making the stakes higher than before. On Catra’s turn, she rolls the dice and lands on a spot to take a random amount of coins from a random player. To her fortune, she takes half of Adora’s coins, and Adora whines in protest.

“No fair! Mario has just as many coins as I do,” she argues, throwing her hands (and controller) out towards the screen.

Catra puts her hands up. “It was random. Don’t blame me.”

“But you didn’t have to go that way. You picked that side on purpose.”

“If there is any chance of me winning, I’m gonna take it.”

“No, I think you just wanted to follow me around.”

“Right, because I’m obsessed with you.” Catra tries not to think of the irony in that sentence. “Besides, taking half your coins did nothing except bump me up to third. You’re still lightyears ahead of us.”

“Doesn’t matter. It’s the principle,” Adora smirks.

Catra playfully rolls her eyes and they continue on with the game. More rounds pass, Catra loses more minigames and ends back up in last. On the very last turn, Adora rolls and lands on a special event space. She gets to steal a star from any player she wants.

“Oh really?” She asks sarcastically. “Hmm. I wonder who I should pick?”

Catra gasps, turning her head and astounded expression towards Adora. “Don’t you dare.”

Adora purses her lips together into a twisted smirk, slowly and dramatically turning back to the screen. “This is what you get for stealing half my coins earlier.”

Adora lifts the controller up and presses the buttons, selecting the option to steal Catra’s only star. Catra drops her controller next to her and lunges to Adora, grabbing her Wii remote and pulling away. Adora pulls back, and they both try to grab the control from each other.

“I won’t let you win!” Catra shouts, giving one more big pull. She grabs at Adora’s wrist and tugs hard, causing the controller to fly out of Adora’s hand (luckily she still has her safety wristband on) and for Adora to fall into Catra. The collision makes them both fall off of the bed and onto the floor, Catra landing on top of Adora and still holding her wrist. She uses her free hand to push herself up, and she is inches away from Adora. Adora opens her eyes and the two look at each other, Catra becoming very aware of how she’s straddling Adora’s legs and pinning her down. Catra’s heart starts to beat faster, her breaths becoming slightly rapid. She feels Adora’s chest rising and falling the same way as hers: with anticipation. 

So far, whenever she and Adora hung out, everything felt planned. Catra went in knowing exactly what to do, how to bat her eyes and smile in ways that would drive Adora crazy. Her mind has been flooded with Scorpia’s voice. Make her want you but don’t let her think that you want her. Do this, do that. Hell, Catra’s mind has been flooded with her own anxiety and what if’s. But right now, Catra can’t hear most of her thoughts. Only a faint combination of do it and want . And she does.

Instinctively, Catra’s eyes dart to Adora’s lips then back to Adora’s eyes, unsure if this was the right time. Adora’s eyes do the same, twice, giving Catra all the courage she needs. Catra fiercely leans down, kissing Adora. Adora hungrily kisses back. Her one hand traces down Adora’s wrist, opening and sliding the remote off her wrist so she can intertwine their fingers. She rubs her thumb in Adora’s palm and pushes herself closer for more kisses. Catra slowly traces her free hand down Adora’s arm, slide, and hip, grazing her leg between kisses. Adora pulls up both legs intuitively, and Catra is a little jolted at the sensation.

She pushes herself away, slightly embarrassed about how out of breath she is. She sits back against Adora’s legs as the girl slows her breathing, opening her eyes. Catra smiles, cockily, looking at Adora being disheveled and more out of breath than she is. Catra crosses her arms.

“Now, that’s how you kiss someone,” Catra says, triumphantly. 

Adora nervously chuckles, her facing turning redder. Catra wants to add fuel to the fire, and make Adora want more. No, need more. Catra slithers back down to the girl but instead of going towards her lips, she goes towards Adora’s neck and kisses her. Adora breathes out and turns her head to give Catra more access. She can’t help but smile, lips still pressed to Adora’s skin. As she kisses more, exploring more of Adora’s neck, Catra’s left hand searches Adora’s side again until she finds what she wants.

Catra grabs the Wii remote, switches the selection to “Cancel,” and makes it so Adora doesn’t steal Catra’s only star. Catra lets out a short victory shout. Adora is still on the floor while Catra does a small victory dance, still straddling her. Adora slowly looks toward the screen, mouth still slightly parted open, processing what just happened. She sits up on her elbows, dropping her knees so Catra falls backwards.

“What the hell?” Adora asks, shocked. “That’s foul play.”

Catra shifts forward to get back to how she was sitting and shrugs her shoulders, smirking once again. “You got distracted.”

“Yeah, you were the distraction.”

“Uh-huh. You got hustled by a beginner, sweetie,” Catra taunts. “Better luck next time.”

“Still foul play. You threw me on the floor and kissed me to distract me.”

“And it worked,” Catra says, too happy with herself.

Adora sits all the way up. “It’s not fair. How am I supposed to focus when you’re so…” She cuts herself off.

Catra bites back a smirk. “So what?”

Adora looks Catra up and down, but doesn’t say anything. Catra’s skin prickles at Adora’s soft gaze and how her eyes trace Catra’s body.

“Say it,” Catra demands, breaking the silence.

Adora snaps out of her head, returning to look at Catra’s eyes. Her voice turns cool, almost suave. “I think I deserve some compensation.”

“Oh,” Catra says flirtatiously. “Are you saying that those kisses weren’t enough?”

“You tricked me into not stealing your star and all I’m saying is that I deserve something in return. Something more.”

“How much more?” Catra says, lowering her voice ever-so-slightly.

Adora’s cheeks flush. “However much you’re willing to give.”

Catra pulls Adora in to kiss her again. Eventually, they make their way over to the couch, never finishing the Wii game that night.

Chapter Text

Early morning’s were always Catra’s favorites, and late nights, too. Both made the world feel quiet and let Catra think clearly. No clouded thoughts, no anxiety (especially now more than ever), no lingering responsibilities. Just the sounds of birds chirping and if she was in her dorm, the sound of muffled video games noises pouring out of her roommate’s headphones.

This morning, however, Catra was greeted to her phone consistently buzzing every five minutes. After the third time her phone started to buzz, she groaned, swiped her hand under her pillow to grab the phone, and answered it. She doesn’t even get a second to ask what the person wants before they speak.

“I take it last night went well,” Scorpia says, drawing out the last syllable. “Was justice served? ”

Catra yawns, pulling her phone away from her face to look at the time and frowns.

“Why are you calling me at six a.m.?” she asks, sitting up, stretching out her muscles a bit, and then crossing her legs as she pulls a pillow into her lap.

“Oh my goodness. Are you still there?” Scorpia whispers, panicked yet excited. “I can call back later. I didn’t think to check your location.”

Through her morning brain fog, she pieces together what Scorpia is insinuating. “Oh. No, I’m not,” she says slowly. “I went home last night.”

Scorpia pauses. “But you were at Adora’s until midnight? I just assumed-”

“How did you know where I was?”

“I track your phone,” she says, casually. “Did you guys, you know?”

Catra sighs, not so ready to replay last night. “No, I couldn’t do it. We just made out.”

“I’m sorry, I think I misheard you.”

Catra sighs, more dramatically this time, and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I couldn’t sleep with her.”

“What?” Scorpia shouts. “ You couldn’t do it? What happened?”

Catra gives her a recap of their date. The movie, the flirting while playing the game, the floor kisses, and the part of the night she still can’t believe she let happen.

“I couldn’t morally sleep with her last night,” she admits. 

“Now your morality kicks in? You do realize what we’re gonna do to this girl, right? I think morals left the question a long time ago.”

“I know, I know,” Catra argues, sliding her free hand over her face and into her hair. “It’s just, different. Breaking her heart is one thing, but I don’t want to use her like that. Listen to what happened…”

Still straddling Adora, Catra leans back down to the girl, kissing her neck first and then her collarbone. Adora breathes out in little gasps, which only eggs Catra on. She moves her mouth down Adora’s jawline eventually returning back to her mouth. Adora moans into the kiss, and when they break apart, Adora slowly takes off her shirt. 

Catra can’t help but stare. Adora is wearing a sports bra (typical) and without her shirt or jacket, Catra sees she has boxer briefs underneath her pants. Catra’s hands trace Adora’s abs and gently over the elastic band. As she does, Adora breath hitches again, her eyes begging Catra to keep going. 

And that’s what makes Catra stop. 

“Hold on,” she says, getting off Adora. Adora sits up fully and frowns in protest. “As much as I have been enjoying this, you told me that sex and dating is all new to you. This is your second real date. Have you ever really considered how this would go?”

“Yeah, of course. Well, like, hypothetically I’ve thought about it.”

“In reality,” Catra starts, hesitating for a moment. “Have you thought about what’s going to happen?”

“No, but I want to,” Adora says, soft and unsure. “I really want to.”

Catra grabs Adora’s hands. “I understand that, and I want to, too. But I also want you to be safe. Going into this blind and without preparation isn’t a good idea. You’ve gotta do some research beforehand.”

Her mouth is betraying her brain. This is the next big step in her plan. It’s go time. She knows what to do, she’s mentally planned out all the steps and what comes next. But there’s something in her gut that’s nagging her. She can’t do it, not after everything she knows, despite what her body wants right now. She babbles more about what Adora should do, and she doesn’t really know what she’s saying. She just knows it has to be said. 

Adora nods in response to everything, face growing pink from embarrassment. She grabs her shirt and puts it back on as she speaks. That causes Catra to disappointedly pause her babble for a split second. 

“We can do it together, if you want. Then we can also talk about what we like, you know.” Adora’s eyes shift down, Catra sees her losing confidence. She squeezes Adora’s hands to regain her attention. “I want you to be safe, okay?” What in the hell was she saying?

“I get it, I was just really hoping it was tonight. I didn’t think any of this through. Obviously.”

“It’s not a ‘no,’ just a ‘not now.’” Catra pauses, thinking of ways to shift the tension. “I’m okay to make out some more, if you still want to.”

Adora perks up a little. “Maybe not on the floor this time? My back is starting to hurt.”

“Okay, grandma,” Catra taunts. “The couch?”

Adora nods eagerly. Catra pulls them to the sofa, and they never finish the Wii game.

“You literally don’t make any sense,” Scorpia says in response to all this.

Catra dramatically lays back down on her bed. Hours after that conversation, she still doesn’t know why she said all of that or why she felt so unsure. It’s not like it’s her first time or anything, but it is for Adora. Exposing Adora to the world, fine. She deserves it. Using her like that , not even Catra’s most sadistic fantasy could do something as horrible. Yeah, Catra wants Adora to feel shitty by the end of their “relationship,” but she also doesn’t want to force Adora into anything she’s not ready for. And that’s the perfect excuse.

“Look, putting this off does three things. One, it makes me look like I actually care for her. It’s a big step in a first relationship, and I need her to think that I’ll do anything for her. Even if that means waiting. Two, she doesn’t know anything about sex. The little sliver of humanity and compassion I have left told me to not rush into this. Besides, it would be less fun for me anyways. And three, it puts me more in control. She listened to what I said and didn’t even argue. I’m like her queer mentor. Last night just shows how easy it will be to manipulate her, at the right time.” She doesn’t know if Scorpia will really buy her excuses, but she hopes she was a good enough actress. “And, if it’s anything, I did finally get her phone number so I don’t have to message her on that app anymore.”

Scorpia doesn’t reply for a second. “I understand what you’re saying, but that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“In my defense, we don’t have a written step-by-step plan. We barely have an outline. I just know I have to make her fall in love.”

“It’s still a plan, and not sleeping with her was not part of that.”

Catra bites her lip. “It will mean more if we wait. The longer I hold off, the longer the relationship is–hopefully, and then the heartbreak will be worse.” Scorpia doesn’t say anything, and Catra knows she’s giving her a I-see-through-your-bullshit look through the phone. “Okay, is it so bad that I’m trying to be slightly less horrible?”

“No. Actually, it’s a good look for you,” Scorpia admits. “But you’ve gotta sleep with her soon. The plan demands it.”

The plan . Sounds like another secret spy mission, Catra thinks.

“Fine. I’ll have sex with her. But only ‘cause you want me to.”

She hangs up the phone, sliding it back underneath her pillow and lays back down. As her head hits her pillow, her phone vibrates, again. Groaning, she snatches it, sharply sits up, and answers it (agitatedly).

“What do you want?” she whines.

“Oh, um. I can call back later,” Adora stammers out.

Catra’s eyes widen. “Adora? Sorry, sorry. I just got off with an annoying call with my friend. What’s up?”

Adora breathes out shakily. “It’s about last night.”

Catra’s stomach drops. “Is everything okay?”

Another shaky breath. “I-hang on.”

A facetime request pops up on the screen. Catra creases her forward, but presses the accept button nonetheless. The screen goes dark for a second, then Adora’s face appears. Well, more of her forehead. She’s only showing her face from the nose up, her face a little red and eyes a little watery. Not a good sign.

“Are you okay?” Catra asks.

Adora’s close up face shakes side to side. “You, uh, left a mark on me last night.”

Catra reminisces on their conversation. She hopes she left a mark on Adora. She’s messing up her not-a-plan so she doesn’t rush Adora into anything bad. Adora was embarrassed last night, but after their makeout sessions, she didn’t seem to really care about anything. Maybe Catra was too harsh? Though, that was probably the most caring she’s been in a while, possibly ever. What’s going on?

Adora places her phone down, revealing she’s at her desk, and her full upper body is in frame. Fuck, she was pretty even after just waking up. The light from her room is shining on her to make her look like a goddess, even with her bed hair and oversized pajamas. Just another thing to make Catra hate her.

Catra scans Adora, searching for a reason to match Adora’s scared face. Then she sees it. A medium size mark on her neck, with splotches of purple and blue surrounding it. Catra covers her mouth at the sight.

“Oh shit,” she says. “Did I do that?”

Adora nods.

“Huh. I wasn’t even trying to,” Catra snarkily says.

“This is not good, Catra! How am I supposed to hide this? My friends don’t know that I’m…my friends don’t know anything. I haven’t told them anything about me lately. But they’re gonna know something’s up when they see I have a hickey. ” Her eyes are full of fear. 

Baby’s first hickey, Catra remarks in her head, trying not to laugh aloud. “Adora, you’re gonna be fine. Hickies are easy to cover up if you have the right makeup. Besides, that’s only a small one. Easy cover up.”

Adora shifts back. “This is small?”

Catra snickers. “Yes. I can give you a big one later if you want. But right now, go find a mirror and all of your makeup.”

Adora’s face flushes at the first comment. She leaves the screen for a moment, rustles through her stuff, and comes back with her little makeup pouch. She pulls out some foundation, concealer, bright blush, mascara, and a one-row palette of brown eyeshadow. Adora grabs her phone, flipping the camera around so Catra can see what she’s working with.

“Okay, you’ve got concealer. That’s a step,” Catra analyzes. “Let’s start with that.”

Catra goes over the basic steps of covering up the bruise. Lots of concealer–since she doesn’t have any color corrector of any shade and doesn’t have time to get some before class–and a little foundation to blend it out. She instructs Adora to do something, and she hesitantly does, slightly flinching at the first touch of the bruise. Catra bites back a smirk. After many minutes of just applying concealer, they finally finish up with blending it out with some foundation. Catra recommends wearing something with a higher neck to help conceal it. Adora brings the mirror close to her body, examining the bruise.

“It looks better,” Adora says, uncertainty in her voice. “Do you think it will fool anyone?”

Catra shrugs. “We’re in college. I bet half the people in our lecture have hickies right now.”

Adora nods, gracefully rubbing her fingers over her neck.

“You’ll be fine,” Catra reassures. “Everyone will be paying attention to our professor and not you. Just wear your dumb sports jacket and no one will notice.”

Adora turns back to her phone. “You think it’s dumb?”

“No-I.” She sighs. “Wear the jacket and it will be unnoticeable.”

Adora agrees, says goodbye, and hangs up. Catra immediately starts laughing and texts her groupchat the updated, noting how Adora’s gonna have a rough few days.

Don’t move your head, don’t take off your jacket, and you’ll be fine. And worst case, deny, deny, deny. Adora chants those phrases in her mind over and over again as she walks to class, alone. She messaged Glimmer and Bow that she overslept and would just meet them in the lecture. Bow gave her message a disapproving thumbs down but no more arguments. As she walks through the hall, Adora’s neck is on fire from the stares of other students. It felt like there was a giant neon sign pointing to her neck. Even though she triple checked that the mark was covered by her jacket and makeup, that anxiety in her stomach tells her everyone is looking at her (because who wears a super thick jacket in this seventy-degree weather).

She debates on waiting until the very last minute or even a few minutes into the lecture to walk in. She can’t risk Glim or Bow seeing. Hopefully they saved her regular seat on the end of the aisle to the right of Glimmer. Wandering slowly through the building, she eventually lands up at her lecture hall and straightens herself up before walking in, reminding her brain that there's nothing wrong and nothing she needs to confess.

Glimmer and Bow wave to her the second she walks in. She shakily waves back, forcing her head up and feigning some normal confidence. Unfortunately, they didn’t save her usual seat, and her stomach knots.

“We figured this may be the only way to get you a seat,” Glimmer says, gesturing to the chair sitting in between her and Bow. “You know blondie over there is always eyeing our spot.”

“Yeah, she loves to glare at us every week, doesn’t she?” Adora calms her nerves down, well, shoves them down. They haven’t noticed anything yet, so she may be in the clear. Adora sits, unpacks her stuff, and starts to outline her note before the lecture starts. Bow is talking and Glimmer is flirting over Adora, but she doesn’t care. She needs to be invisible. 

“Is that alright?” Glimmer asks, nudging Adora in the arm.

“Is what alright?” Adora asks, too quickly. Her hand twitches, wanting to cover her hickey, but she knows that would give her away if Glimmer didn’t see it already.

“The study group,” Bow answers. “We were saying we need to get a study group with some people to go over course material and help each other out with assignments. You know, regular school stuff. Are you okay? You seem a little on edge.”

“Oh, yeah,” Adora waves a limp hand. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” Not technically a lie, but she’s pulled multiple all-nighters and has been fine before. “I chugged a Red Bull on the way to class and now I’m all-” she shakes her arms and hands like she’s imitating jazz hands. Bow suspiciously nods, not asking anymore questions, though.

Glimmer, however, gasps.

“What. Is. That?”

Adora’s shoulder tense. “What? I don’t know!”

Glimmer excitedly taps her hands on the desk. “Professor Netossa brought her dog to class!”

The room bursts out into “awes” and “so cute” and other admiration for the small dalmatian puppy. Adora breathes out. Bow’s right, she’s too on edge. Professor Netossa starts the lecture, but Adora is barely paying attention. Something about her dog and ringing a bell makes it drool. Maybe it wasn’t her dog. Whatever Netossa is saying, Adora isn’t listening. She’s making awkward eye contact with people in the room, instinctively covering up her neck in response. She eventually finds Catra in the crowd, who deliberately turns her head away once their gazes meet.

Bow breaks her out of the spiral, asking her about the previous slide. He pauses for a second, looking at Adora before finishing his question. Adora asks what’s wrong, but he says nothing, and continues on. Glimmer sneaks out and goes to the bathroom a few minutes before Netossa tells the class to get into groups and discuss whatever topic the lecture was on today. The whole room slowly turns to the person next to them, except Bow. Adora turns to him, but he’s looking down at his notes finishing his sentence. Adora grabs her bottle and takes a sip of water.

“So, what’s with the hickey?”

She gags on the water, swallowing it and it goes down the wrong pipe. She coughs, hitting her chest trying to stop from completely embarrassing herself. Bow bites back a small smile.

“The what?” Deny, deny, deny, Adora reminds herself.

“The big bruise on your neck. The hickey ,” he says, drawing out that last word.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Bow narrows his eyes. Adora knows that was a stupid response. How could she not notice the mark, even if there was makeup on it? Bow points to it, and Adora’s hand covers it.

“Oh, that. No, that’s just from my curling iron. I was trying to curl my hair this morning and burned myself in the process. That’s why I was late,” she lies.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with curly hair,” Bow admits. “Can your hair even hold a curl?”

Adora shakes her head. “Nope, apparently not. The sections I did manage to curl fell out after five minutes.”

Bow nods. “Right. A curling iron. That you have in your dorm.”

Adora gives a forced smile. “Yep. My good ole’ iron.”

“When did you first get it?” Bow asks, slightly raising his chin. He’s probing.

“In high school.”

“What’s the brand?”

“Uh, I don’t know. Something with a bright pink label.”

“What’s the highest temperature it goes to?”

“One hundred degrees.”

Bow points his pencil at Adora. “You need to have it set to at least three hundred to get a small curl. You’re lying.”

Adora curses. “I’m not lying.”

“Adora, I’m not judging you. I just want to know what’s going on. You have a hickey after never dating or really showing an interest in it. Who’s the lucky guy?”

Adora sighs, rolling her eyes. “There’s no guy. It’s not a hickey!”

“It’s not a what?” Glimmer says behind her. She sits down, jaw falling open once she sees the mark. “Oh my god!”

She lunges towards Adora’s neck, pulling the jacket neck down to reveal the bruise and horrible makeup job. Adora shifts and struggles out of Glimmer’s grasp, slapping her friend’s hands away. Bow laughs behind them.

“When did you get this? How? And from who? What’s his name?” Glimmer asks.

Adora groans. “There is no guy!”

“Then what’s her name? Or their name? I don’t discriminate,” Glimmer adds, sassily.

Adora runs her hands over her face. “It’s. Not. That. I burned my neck on my curling iron and got so embarrassed that people would think it’s, that, and I botched up the makeup so now the coverup looks horrible.”

Glimmer chuckles. “You, curl your hair? I don’t think your hair could curl.”

“That’s what I said!” Bow exclaims.

“I can’t keep having this conversation. If you don’t believe me, fine. But there’s no guy.”

Bow leans behind her to Glimmer. “She never said anything about a girl.”

Adora (dramatically) drops her head on the desk. The group discussion slowly dies down and Netossa continues on with her slides. Adora keeps checking her phone, eyeing the time. At the five minute mark, she grabs her stuff and leaves to avoid more scrutiny from her friends.

One day she’ll be able to talk about her late nights and the kissing, but right now she can't. What would her friends do once they found out? Of course they’d be supportive as hell. But what if they started tagging Adora in queer posts and people see? She’s not ready, and her friends will understand that. They’ve gotta. But for now, she can’t let them know.

Though, Bow and Glimmer are right about one thing: Adora really needs a study group. She’s not falling behind per say, but she’s definitely not keeping up with course material. It’s safe to say that she’s been a little distracted recently. Distracted by a fucking gorgeous girl that won’t pay attention to her in the lecture hall. And that drives Adora insane. Granted, Adora was the one who said she’s not ready to be out. She’s the one exploring all this. Catra is respecting her wishes, she thinks. But every time Adora’s in that room, she wants to scream until Catra acknowledges her. Or at least smile at her for once.

So, yeah. Adora’s been distracted. She couldn’t even focus when the dog came in.

That afternoon in their Bestfriend Squad group chat, Bow, Glimmer, and Adora started planning how to recruit people for a study group. Their class has a group discussion for general questions, and Bow posted about their study group opening the invitation for anyone to join. Adora’s mind immediately thought of Catra. Maybe if she invited Catra to the group and her friends started to like her, it would make the coming out process smoother. She physically shakes the thought from her head, trying to get her mind straight. Er. Focused. Catra is part of the reason she needs to be in this study group. She needs to study.

Bowalicious: You guys have anyone’s number?

Glimmerish: no. i literally don’t talk to anyone in there except you guys

Bowalicous: Damn. Well, I posted in the discussion board earlier so maybe we’ll get some people to join

Glimmerish: do you think the ta’s would join? we could use the extra practice with them

Adora: i might know someone

Glimmerish: who???

Adora: that girl who said hi to me on the first day.

Glimmerish: the weirdo??

Adora bites her lip at the comment.

Adora: we have another class together, that’s how we know each other lol. she asked if i was in a study group she could join a few days ago. now we actually have one so it might be a good idea.

Bowalicious: The more the merrier, right?

Bowalicious: We literally need everyone we can get so…

Adora: i’ll send her a message

Bowalicious: Fab. Now we’ll at least have four people.

Glimmerish: looks like a few people on the discussion board want to join!

Glimmerish: i think it’s mainly the slackers tho :( 

Bowalicious: The more the merrier!

Glimmerish: but we need smart peopleeee

Bowalicious: The. More. The. Merrier!

Bowalicious: Besides, they could be really smart procrastinators. How would we know until we get to know them?

Adora: i’ll see if catra knows anyone else who’d join too

Glimmerish: she has a name?? i was fully planning on calling her weirdo

Adora gives a thumbs down to Glimmer’s message.

Adora: we don’t tolerate bullying, glim

Bowalicious: Let’s just plan on meeting Fridays at like 2:00 and whoever shows up is welcome to join. I just reserved some rooms for the next few weeks. I’ll post on the board so the info is there for everyone.

Glimmerish: perf. thanks bow!!!

Adora: thank you bowww

Back in her dorm after her classes, Adora sends a quick message to Catra, asking her about the study group. Catra quickly responds with a call. 

“A study group?” Catra asks.

“Yeah. It can’t hurt to get extra study time in. Right now it’s just me, my friends, and possibly some other people from class. I’m not sure about them but apparently other people are interested in studying together.”

“Your friends?”

“Yes, my friends.” Adora pauses. “Did you think I didn’t have any friends?”

“No, no!” Catra chuckles. “I mean you want me to meet your friends?”

Adora’s face flushes. “Well, yeah. I mean, not like that . Actually, kinda like that. I was thinking maybe if you came to the group and got to know them that coming out and that whole process a little easier.” She stops, anxiety pooling in her stomach. “It’s stupid. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Adora,” Catra says, drawing out the last syllables. “It’s sweet. I’ll come to your group when I can. I usually play on Friday nights so I’ll make it out when I can.”

She sits on her couch, sighing with relief. “Okay, great.”

After a moment of silence, Catra asks: “So, how did the day go with the hickey?”

Adora groans and stands up to look at the bruise in her mirror. “Oh my god. One of my friends spotted it like halfway in the lecture and I had to make up a lie. I told him that I burned myself with curling iron trying to do my hair.”

“There’s no way your hair can hold a curl.”

Adora pauses her pacing. “Can everyone lay off my hair today?”

“I take it he didn’t believe your lie?”

“Nope. He saw right through me and started probing. Then my other friend heard and now they both think I’m seeing some dude.”

“Yikes.”

“Yeah, I guess I have a fun couple of days with them until I can convince both of them that I’m not lying through my teeth.”

“I don’t regret unintentionally giving you that, though.”

Adora bites her cheek as she smiles. “I don’t regret receiving it.”

Catra pauses, and Adora knows she’s smirking even though she can’t see Catra. “Shall I come over and give you another one? In a less conspicuous place of course.”

“How about we finish our game from last night and then you can give me another one?”

“Deal.”

Chapter Text

Catra loves going to Scorpia’s family bakery. Well, it’s not really theirs anymore since they were forced to sell it out to a big corporate brand, but it still has its own quirks and specialities that makes it unique. Like the decor. It’s not modern and dark like most coffee houses any more. The walls are lemonade pink with hints of yellows and light greens in the geometric patterns. The chairs and tables are all white, making the room extra bright with the floor to ceiling windows. And there’s lots of flowers and plants on the counter. It was one of Catra’s favorite places since she met Scorpia.

Her and Entrapta sit across from each other at one of the tables in the back corner. Both girls have their laptops open working on assignments with an array of books open between them. They leave a spot open for Scorpia once she’s off her shift. Catra frustratedly shuts her laptop closed. Entrapta keeps typing, but peers to the side of her screen to look at her friend. “What’s eating you?”

“This stupid essay,” she says, sinking back into her chair. “I have to write three hundred more words just to make the minimum. There’s only so much I can write about the hippocampus and synapses.”

Entrapta slides her computer to the side. “I loved that section of psych! I could help you flourish and fluff your essay.”

 “No,” Catra groans. “I want I break from it for a bit. What were you working on?”

“My grad school application.”

“Already? ‘Trapta, you’re only a junior.”

“I’m almost done with this degree. I’ve gotten most of my credit hours done.”

Catra stares at her.

“Dual enrollment and summer classes,” Entrapta answers.

Catra nods. In their silence, Scorpia comes by and sits with them. “I’ve only got about ten more minutes in this shift and I’ll be off for the day. What are we planning on doing? We could go see a movie, go out to a bar, do a pilates class-”

Catra groans (again) loudly looking at her phone.”

Scorpia continues on. “We can listen to Catra complain. All good options.”

“I don’t know what to do with Adora.”

“And here we go again,” Scorpia sighs.

“We’ve been hanging out and going on dates for like a month now and I feel I’m going a little stagnant.”

“‘Stagnant?’” Entrapta asks.

“Yeah, I started using the word-a-day calendar you got me.” Entrapta claps and smiles. Catra waves her excitement away. “Anyways, my tactics are starting to get repetitive. I ask her to hang out, she says yes, we go over to her dorm and flirt up a storm–and sometimes make out a little–then I go home. It’s the same pattern every time. It’s a good pattern, but I need some new material.”

“Well, maybe it would be moving along more if you had slept with her the first time?” Scorpia taunts.

Catra scowls. “I thought we were over that. It wouldn’t have been good for me to sleep with her then. It would have made us a fling, a hookup, not a relationship.” Adora wasn’t ready, even if she thought she was. Catra shakes her head of thought. It’s not right for her to decide what Adora is and isn’t ready for. But for the sake of the game, Catra waiting was the best move. “But yeah, it’s time to. I’m ready for it, and I think she is, too. As long as she did her homework.”

Entrapta nods. “Staying on top of schoolwork is important.”

“No, she means the homework Catra assigned her. You know, she’s got to study for the big test .”

Entrapta blinks, then understands. “That’s good, too.”

“I’ve gotta be suave about it, you know? Just casually drop the idea of it. Not make a big deal or anything. I can’t scare her off.” Catra gasps and slams her hands on the table. The two girls and other customers around them jump. Scorpia apologizes and looks to the counter, checking if her parents were watching and turns back around when she sees they’re not. “Or, I could make it the biggest deal! An extravagant night.”

“I don’t like where you’re going with this.” Scorpia pinches her forehead. “If we listen to your plan, can we do something normal after this? Like go to a bookstore or something?”

“Absolutely.” Catra leans in. Scorpia and Entrapta follow. “You know what is irresistible to girls of all sexualities?”

Scorpia raises an eyebrow. “What?”

“Band members! There’s something about band members and artists that are just so magnetic to people–not to toot my own horn or anything. They’re especially magnetic when people think they’re flirting with them while performing. How would you feel if your favorite band member just looked at you from stage?” 

“I think I would actually faint,” Entrapta deadpanned.

“Ditto,” Scorpia agrees.

“Now imagine if they sang to you. Only to you. Maybe point and acknowledge you out of everyone else in the crowd. Would you absolutely lose your mind?”

“I’ve had this fantasy before,” Scorpia admits.

Catra leans back in her chair. “That’s what I’m gonna do Friday.”

“Flirt with Adora while performing?” Scorpia asks. “Do you think everyone in your band would be okay with that?”

Catra shrugs. “It shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll ask to lead this week. Whenever we rotate singers, whoever is leading gets to do whatever they want as long as they’re singing the song we all picked. I’ll just tell them I’m gonna be extra flirtatious that day.”

“How are you going to get Adora there? Didn’t she say that she doesn’t want to be seen in public with you?” Scorpia asks. Entrapta laughs at the comment.

“No,” Catra corrects, rolling her eyes a little. “She doesn’t want to date in public, yet. Which is fine. A little annoying and hurtful, but fine. It will make things more surprising when we…have we decided how we’re going to expose her?”

“Entrapta and I have plans. We’ll get to that later. Adora doesn’t want to go out and have people see her being queer. This plan isn’t going to work if she won’t go.”

“I’ll figure something out. I’m a flirt master, remember?”

“Don’t call yourself that,” Scorpia advises. 

“One more problem,” Entrapta starts. “You’re bringing her to a hub of gay girls. What’s stopping her from talking to someone else? Or going home with another person?”

Catra pauses. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Scorpia shakes her head. “This isn’t going to end well.”

“It will be fine,” Catra reassures. “If I see her with another girl, I’ll just throw a drink in Adora’s face. Or I can pretend I didn’t notice and hope she’s a cheating scumbag to create chaos later. Problem solved.”

“Not really. Just more problems for later.” Scorpia looks at the clock. “As much as I would love to keep up this convo, my shift’s finally over. Ready to go to the bookstore or any normal activity that doesn’t involve getting revenge?”

Catra huffs out. “Yes, let's go. I just need to call her first.”

“You have five minutes,” Scorpia points and warns as she walks away.

Catra pulls out her phone, telling Entrapta she’ll be right as she sneaks outside and calls Adora. She answers relatively quickly.

“I’ve got a date idea I’d like to propose,” Catra says after a little bit of banter.

“A proposal already? Don’t you think it’s a little too soon?” Adora asks. Catra hears something slap from the other side. She assumes it’s Adora face palming. “I’m sorry. That was such a stupid joke.”

“Adora, that joke was so bad I don’t even know how to respond to that. Well done.” Catra begins to pace. Why? She doesn’t know. She’ll chalk it up to method acting. “Anyways, my band is playing Friday night. Well, we play every Friday, but this week I’m leading a set. I’d love for you to come out and listen to a few of the songs we’re covering. I think you’ll like this week’s fem-pop theme.”

“Out to the bar?” Adora questions.

“It’s a little far off campus, but I can pick you up or you could uber in if you don’t have a car,” Catra rambles, trying to ignore Adora’s complaint.

“I don’t know, Catra. Didn’t you say that was a queer bar? What if someone sees me?”

“Lots of people bring their straight friends there, too. It’s a more inclusive bar, I guess. And there will be a ton of people there so you’ll just blend into the crowd. Besides, everyone should be paying attention to us on stage, not you.”

Static comes from the phone. Catra bites her cheek. She’s losing her. “It’s okay to be scared, Adora. I remember how nervous I was coming out. But I had other queer people around me to help. I’m just saying that it might be a little freeing to cut loose and dance with some gays to gay music. Most of us didn’t have great coming out experiences, so if anyone you know sees you, I’ll guess that they keep your secret.”

Adora mumbles to herself.

“Promise me you’ll show up for at least one song,” Catra begs. “Then you can leave. It will feel good to step outside your comfort zone for a bit, even if it’s three minutes.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

Catra breathes a sigh of relief. Getting Adora to go willingly was going to be the hardest part. Now, Catra will have to wait and see if Adora keeps her word. “Awesome. It means a lot to me that you’re trying.” 

“You shouldn’t have to beg me to come to your shows. I’m sorry I’m so nervous all the time.”

“No more apologies. Not until you truly fuck up,” Catra taunts.

“Right, as if.”

Catra says goodbye, ends the call, and texts Adora all the information she’ll need for Friday. She slithers back inside to her table and packs up her stuff while Scorpia impatiently reminds Catra of all the things she’s not to discuss while the three of them hang out: Adora, revenge, plotting, and Adora.

“Yeah, yeah. I won’t talk about her.” Catra curses. “I’ve got to make a new setlist. It’s got to be even more gay than before.”

Both Entrapta and Scorpia shoot her a warning, annoyed glance.

“I won’t talk about her starting now.”

Adora walks into the clammy bar and is faced with dozens of people surrounding the small stage. Catra and her band–Adora never found out what they were called–are at the center in the middle of a song. Adora shuffles past people towards the center of the crowd, just enough where Catra can see her. She’s wearing a tight red tank top with small handwriting on it, but the lights are too bright for her to truly see anything. The crowd cheers when the song is over and the band goes and gets some water, promising to return within the next few minutes. Catra had her back turned towards the crowd, putting her guitar back in the case, and when she turns around she finds Adora. That nasty, flirtatious smile she does makes Adora’s heart skip a beat.

The crowd disperses, getting more drinks or going to sit down for a bit, and Catra struts down the stairs and straight to Adora. She smirks as she talks. “I’m glad you could make it. And I see that you brought out the fancy attire tonight.” Catra playfully tugs at Adora’s jersey.

Adora looks down at her own outfit. She spent almost an hour googling what people wear to bars and trying to plan her outfit. She didn’t know what kind of bar this was going to be, upscale or casual, so she pulled out her favorite sports jersey and fanciest jeans and hoped for the best. “I didn’t know what to wear.”

“Honestly, I’m just surprised you own clothes that aren’t some shade of red. A blue jersey? I didn’t think you knew other colors existed.”

“What can I say? I know what I like.” Adora looks at Catra’s chest–to read what her shirt says. She tilts her head as she reads it aloud. “‘Lesbians eat what?’ I don’t get it. And what’s with the cat?”

Catra fights back a smirk. “I’ll explain it to you later.”

“Okay,” Adora laughs nervously. Her eyes trace around the room, anxiously looking for anyone she knows (to avoid them later).

“Can I buy you a drink?” Catra asks, snapping Adora out of her head.

Adora raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Cause it may make me sound better when I’m onstage.” Catra smiles. Adora rolls her eyes. “Oh come on, why can’t I buy you a drink? Just one. I promise I’m not trying to get you drunk.”

“Just one?” She narrows her eyes.

Catra raises her hand. “Only one. I swear. I don’t want you to be so drunk you miss me singing.”

“Okay. If you’re pulling my leg,” Adora says, also smirking a bit.

Catra grabs her hand, runs them over to the bar, and orders both of them a drink. Adora compliments Catra’s choice after taking a few sips and they both tap their glasses together.

“What’s your band’s name again?” Adora asks.

“The Horde. I wish we had a cool backstory to it. A week before our first performance, all of us decided to use one of those name generator things to start brainstorming. We cycled through the fantasy names and random story titles until we found the villain one. That one had a lot of great evil titles, but we all loved The Horde.”

Adora nods along. “Who all is up there?” She tilts her head to the stage.

Catra sets down her drink. She twists around to face the stage and Adora does the same. “Okay. The guy back there with the green and yellow mullet? That’s our drummer, Rogelio. And next to him is his boyfriend Kyle. He’s technically on bass, but sometimes we question if he actually knows how to play. Rogelio insists he’s a lucky charm, but we always have something bad happen whenever he tries to lead something. And then that girl fixing the mic right now, yeah her. That’s Lonnie. Her and I switch between lead guitar and singing since we’re more of a fem band. That and Rogelio is a man of few words and you don’t want to hear Kyle sing. Sometimes we get other people to play with us if a song needs an instrument we don’t have or play. But usually it’s just the four of us.”

“It sounds like a good group.”

Catra nonchalantly shrugs. “We were all bored college freshmen who had the same taste in music. We were lucky to book this venue a few months ago. I know we aren’t the exclusive artists of this bar, but still. Lucky little ducks.”

“I never understood the appeal of performing,” Adora admits. “I don’t mean that in a critical way. I don’t think I could take the pressure of performing all the time. What drew you to it?”

“I can’t explain it. There’s nothing that feels as good as getting recognized for your performance. Hearing people cheer and clap for me feels so accomplishing. It’s like when you would score a goal and everyone in the bleachers would scream. It’s the same feeling. I like being recognized for something I love to do.”

“One more question for you then. What are you more passionate about: singing or cheerleading?”

“Bringing up our old highschool days, Greyskull?”

“I’m just curious.”

“Okay, well, out of those two, it’s singing. But I loved to dance when I was younger. Singing and dancing have to be a tie for me. There’s something so addictive about performing. I love being on stage.”

“I can’t wait to see you up there.” Catra talks about performing so passionately. It made Adora realize that she was never that passionate about anything, not even in high school. Every sport she played she did because of obligation or to get some future reward out of.

“I’m not too eager,” Catra admits.

“You’re nervous? Don’t you do this every week?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m usually just on guitar. I rarely get to lead, mainly because I don’t like to. Lonnie’s usually our main singer. It’s been a minute since I’ve led. What if no one likes me up there?”

“If it helps any, I like listening to your voice.”

A faint smile creeps on Catra’s lips. “Are you telling me that I talk alot?”

“What? No! I’m mean-”

Catra chuckles, and Adora’s heart skips a beat. That high-pitched chuckle drives Adora insane. “I’m totally messing with you, Adora.”

Adora scoffs and grins. She playfully pushes Catra. “You jerk! I thought I had hurt your feelings!”

Catra laughs again, shoving Adora back. Her hand lingers on Adora’s arm for a moment before she pulls it back to herself. Catra leans on the counter and lowers her voice. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“I’m really glad I came. It’s not as scary as I thought it would be. It’s kinda fun to be out.”

“Maybe we can go out dancing one night.”

“I’d like that.”

Catra looks up, her eyes soft and slowly shifting down to Adora’s lips. She leans in close. Adora leans in too, her heart beating faster and the desire in her stomach becoming stronger. Catra snakes to the side, planting a kiss on Adora’s cheek. 

“These next songs are for you. I’ve waited all night to sing them.”

Adora pulls away flushed, disappointed, and confused. Catra laughs, her evil alluring little chuckle, flashes her guitar pick, and runs back on stage to meet with her crew. Adora runs her fingertips gently over where Catra kissed her, and she flushes even more. Up on the stand, Catra announces that they’ll start playing in a minute and signals her group to huddle up. They talk for a few moments then disperse to their spots. Adora pulls herself away from the bar and heads to the front of the crowd, just close enough to hear Catra mutter to herself. Catra shakes off her nerves and puts her hair up into a high ponytail. Adora’s mind goes wild. She’s never noticed Catra’s jawline before, but with all the stage lights, it’s the only thing Adora can see.

Catra grabs the mic stands, looking like she’s on a high, and adjusts it. “We are continuing on with your favorite artist's favorite artist night. We’re going to start with my personal favorite. It has something to do with a wand and a rabbit.” The crowd roars in excitement, knowing exactly what Catra is hinting at. Adora stares dumbly at the crowd. The song starts, the crowd roars, and Adora stays still against the waves of people crashing against her. Catra begins to sing, and all of Adora’s anxiety disappears. Catra sounds like an angel.

Adora didn’t know what to expect from all of this, she didn’t know what Catra was going to sing. But it’s a lot more, frisky, than she thought the lyrics would be. And Catra embodies every line perfectly. She struts around the stage, playing to the audience and singing with her band members. Adora swears there’s moments where Catra is singing just to her. Like when Catra sang “Want me to fuck you?” and whatever it was after that. Catra’s eyes flickered to Adora, almost like a side eye on those lyrics. And it happened again when she sang the freaky and kinky lyrics. Adora debates on grabbing some water to calm herself down.

The mob of people clap when the song is over. Catra smoothly continues on with the show. “This next one has a little dance that goes with it. I don’t think I need to go over it. If you don’t know it, follow along. It’s easy enough to figure out.” Adora looks around without a clue of the song. There’s lots of songs that have dances to them, she couldn’t be the only one in the audience that does know. The band starts playing the song, the crowd starts dancing and bobbing along to the synth piano and drums. Catra starts singing, but it’s hard to hear her over the crowd. Everyone has turned to the person next to them dancing and singing like they’re in a music video.

“Alright guys, you know the next part!” Catra shouts, pushing the mic to the side. She grins, moving backwards towards the drummer. The song starts spelling out a word, and the crowd in sync matches the movement. Catra dances with all of her bandmates on stage, doing the dance with them. The crowd covers the vocals as they dance. 

Catra returns to the mic on the second verse. As she sings, she deliberately looks into the crowd and purposefully ignores Adora, until one line. Catra locks in as she sings this verse: “Baby do you like this beat? I made it so you’d sleep with me.” Catra winks on the last word, and Adora’s face flushes. They both look away, and Adora smiles. She’s starting to realize why Catra picked these songs. The chorus starts again, and everyone starts dancing, including Adora. Catra glances at her while she does.

“See, I told you it was easy!” she shouts, covering and pushing her mic away. Adora beams up in awe, continuing the dance. Catra not speaking to her through the mic made this all so much more intimate, and not in a bad way. It made Adora’s heart flutter every time.

Catra continues on, focusing more on the song now. Adora thinks back to the joke Catra made about after having a drink she would sound better. That’s bull, Adora thinks. She could listen to her sing all night. 

The song finishes, the audience goes wild. They play a few more songs and the crowd knows every single word. Adora reminds herself to add the songs to her playlists. Once their set is over, Catra and her crew thank everyone for being an awesome audience, promising to be back next weekend. They put away their instruments and leave the stage. Catra gives Adora a quick look, but then returns to her stagemates. That single look told Adora “stay,” and she did, a whole half hour until mostly everyone left for another bar.

Eventually, Catra strides over to Adora at the bar after waving goodbye to her group. “So, what’d you think of us?”

“You guys sounded great,” Adora admits. “I wish I came earlier to see more.”

“And what did you think about me?” Catra asks, flirtatiously probing.

“I don’t know what you were so worried about. You were the best one on that stage.”

Catra blushes. “Oh, stop.”

“Catra, I’m serious. Did you see that crowd? They loved you! You seriously need to perform like that more.”

“You really think so?” she asks. There’s not a hint of cockiness in her voice. She really doesn’t know how amazing she sounded.

“Yes. I’ve never seen you so confident. Like, I mean, it’s a different confidence then you usually have. You were radiant on that stage. You belong up there.”

Catra doesn’t say anything, just smiles. It’s more of an embarrassed, shy smile. Her lips curl downward despite her smiling. It’s the most vulnerable Adora has ever seen Catra. She takes Adora’s hand and pulls them close together. Adora’s breath hitches and her free hand snakes up to Catra’s forearm. Catra rises on her tiptoes to kiss Adora’s forehead. Adora chuckles quietly.

“I’ve been thinking,” Catra says, almost whispering. “I’m ready if you still want to, you know.” 

“Oh,” Adora breathes out. “Tonight?”

“Only if you want to. And if you did some research.”

“Yes. I’ve been wanting to. And I did look up stuff. You were right, I didn’t know what I wanted. I’m glad you told me to wait.”

Catra intertwines their fingers. “We’ll still talk about what we want and stuff. There’s lots more to explore. I want to make sure you’re comfortable and safe.”

“Same goes for you.”

“What a gentleman,” Catra grins. There’s that familiar cockiness. “Shall we get going?”

“Please.”

Chapter Text

Adora’s never woken up next to someone before. It was nice feeling the warmth of Catra’s skin on her, Catra’s arm draping over her on top of the comforterAs Adora shifted and stretched, she noticed their legs were tangled together and just how close they really were (dorm mattress–not a lot of space). She gently pulled her leg out from Catra’s and turned to face the girl. She was still peacefully sleeping, slowly breathing on Adora as she snuggled in closer.

Adora takes her hand and gently caresses Catra’s check, tracing lines all around the girl’s face and imitates what Catra did to her last night when she thought Adora was asleep. Adora pushes Catra’s hair back behind her ear to see her whole face, then rests her hand on the girl’s jaw. Catra was so gorgeous it made Adora want to scream or cry or kiss her until she had to come up for air. She couldn’t decide what it was, but she could stare at Catra forever. 

She’s seen Catra in different lights many times before; in class cool and calm, on dates fun and flirty, on stage hot and confident as hell. Everytime Adora admired her, and now is no different. Catra didn’t have to do a single thing to capture Adora’s eyes. Now, she was peaceful, beautiful, sweet, alluring, kind, charming–

Adora’s phone comes to life on her desk. The annoying ringtone Bow chose for himself fills the quiet room.

“Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit shit…” Adora curses, leaping off the bed. She falls onto the floor, almost splatting onto it, and runs over to the phone. She holds her phone like it’s going to explode while she debates on letting it go to voicemail. Catra groggily pushes herself up, groaning and scowling. She grumpily murmurs about the time and why was Adora leaving (good to know, not a morning person). Adora puts a finger over her own lips to stop Catra from talking and shakily answers the phone.

“Hey, Bow. What’s going on?”

“Adora!” Glimmer shouts. “Where are you? You’ve been MIA for like a day and a half?”

“At my dorm? Why?”

“We were worried about you. You didn’t show up to our study group yesterday and didn’t call or text us. We thought you were kidnapped or something,” Bow says.

Adora covers the mic and curses again. “I’m sorry. I thought I texted you guys. I…” Adora trails off and looks to Catra for suggestions. Catra mimes a cough. “I’m sick. Yeah, I’ve got a cold.” Catra shakes her head. She mimics throwing up. Adora nods. “Okay, that’s not true. I have the flu. I’m a mess. I’m sorry I didn’t text but I was sleeping most of the day.”

Catra waves to Adora to get her attention and points to her own chest, eyes wide. Adora tilts her head, nods, then gives Catra a thumbs up and a flirtatious smile.

“No!” Catra whispers, pulling the comforter over her chest. She points to Adora then to her chest. Adora creases her forehead, looks down, and curses once again. She rushes over to one of her drawers and puts on the first shirt she finds.

“Awe, poor Adora,” Glimmer says. “Well, we’re almost to your building so we can pick up stuff for you after we come up.”

“Did I mention it was the stomach flu? You guys really don’t wanna be here. I don’t want to get you guys sick, too.”

“Pft. We’ve been through worse together. We’re heading up now. See you soon.”

Bow hangs up and Adora panics.

“Oh my god,” Adora repeats over and over. She rushes around the room to make it look like she’s been in there for the past twenty four hours. She grabs her portable trash can and places it next to her bed, filling it with tissues and empty water bottles. She grabs every blanket and pillow she has and throws it onto the bed. Catra is putting her clothes on from last night while laughing her ass off.

“Catra! This isn’t funny.”

“For you. This is hysterical for me.”

“Get your stuff! My friends are going to be very confused if they see a half-naked girl in my room.”

“Where am I supposed to go?”

Adora looks around. She goes over to her spare bed, shifts some of the bins underneath it aside, and gestures to Catra.

“No way,” Catra protests. A knock comes from the door. Adora gives Carra puppy dog eyes. Catra groans, accepting her fate. She grabs her bag she brought and climbs underneath the bed. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“Yes I am,” Adora whispers as she shoves the bins in front of Catra. Her friends knock more on the door. Adora starts to walk over, stops, grabs a blanket, and wraps it around herself to make her seem truly miserable. As she opens the door, she slouches and sniffles. “Hey guys.”

Bow and Glimmer both give her sympathetic sighs. Adora walks back to her bed and plops onto it while her friends walk in.

“You hanging in there alright?” Bow asks.

“I feel great,” Adora says through her pillow.

“It sounds like you’ve got it bad,” Glimmer admits.

Adora flips around to look at her friends. “I’m actually a lot better than yesterday. I should be fine for classes next week, but I’m gonna need a few days to recover.”

“We recorded our study session if you want to watch it,” Bow offers.

Glimmer snickers. “Okay, so no one actually came to it besides Bow and I, but I think we did some pretty good studying.”

“No one else went? You guys know I would’ve been there if I wasn’t, you know.” Adora gestures to herself and then to the mess she made around the room. “A complete mess.”

“We’re thinking of having maybe two a week. One on Tuesdays later in the day after class and the other on Fridays. Hopefully we’d get a bigger batch of people to share notes with and what not, or at least one other person. And it’s not like we can over study.”

Adora nods. “That sounds great. I should be better by then. And if I’m not, I’ll remember to text you guys this time.”

“Can we get you anything? We can run and get some sports drinks or more tissues. It looks like you went through a ton.” Adora had put a full box of tissues in the trash. Maybe she went a little overboard. 

Guilt builds in Adora’s chest. Her friends are so great, and she’s lying right to their faces. “I’m okay. I’ve got another box left and I ordered some soup last night. Are you guys surprised I can take care of myself?”

Bow rolls his eyes. “Independent as always. If you need or want anything, call us. Even if we’re in class.”

Adora smiles, that guilt cutting into her soul. “I will. Thanks guys. Love you.”

“We love you! I’d give you a hug, but I don’t want to get sick,” Glimmer says, backing away from Adora.

“Probably smart.”

Bow and Glimmer grab their stuff and head out, gently closing the door. Ten seconds after they leave, Catra shoves the bins out of her way and climbs out.

“Y’all are too lovey-dovey,” she says standing up and cracking her back. 

Adora sits up, dramatically throwing the blankets off her. “How were we too ‘lovey-dovey?’ They were just being good people.”

Catra shrugs. “Maybe that’s not my love language.”

Adora looks down to Catra’s chest and laughs. “Your shirt is on backwards, by the way.”

Catra groans as she fixes it. “So you really forgot about the study group?”

“Hey, you forgot about it, too.”

“Nuh-uh. I was prepping for my set. I told you I couldn’t make it every week. You’re the one who completely forgot.”

“And I feel like shit for it.” Adora runs her hands through her hair.

Catra pauses, walking over to sit next to Adora. “It’s okay. You’ll go this week. We’ll make sure of it. You know, if you think you’ll feel better by Tuesday.”

Adora bites back a smirk. “I don’t know, I’m still feeling pretty sick.” Adora embarrassedly slams her hands to her face. “Oh my god, I’m horrible.”

Catra takes Adora’s hands and removes them from her face one at a time. She kisses a few of Adora’s knuckles and Adora’s face grows redder than before.

“You lied, but now you guaranteed that we have your room to ourselves for the next day. No interruptions from your sappy best friends.”

“I like my sappy friends,” Adora argues.

“I don’t like it when they stop us from doing this.” Catra turns and kisses Adora, pressing her hand into Adora’s hip. Adora moans slightly at the touch, and Catra’s hand moves up under Adora’s shirt. 

Adora pushes away. “Okay, yeah. No interruptions would be good. Let me lock the door first.”

Adora and Catra created a little cycle over the next month and a half. They would focus hard during the week in classes and let loose on the weekends. Adora forced herself to go to those study groups every week and Catra went when she wasn’t leading a set later that week. But no matter what, even when Adora was truly feeling under the weather, she came to all of Catra’s shows. She became a regular at the bar and the bartender prepared her favorite drink whenever they saw her. After every performance, they went back to Adora’s dorm for a little bit of privacy (as much as you can in a college dorm). And all of this was eating at Catra.

“It’s casual!” Catra frustratedly shouts. The trio is back at the bakery during one of Scorpia’s shifts. Catra falls back into her chair and shoves her hands on her head. “Adora hasn’t asked or even hinted that she wants to be anything more.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Scorpia says, while serving their drinks and snacks. “You guys have been just hooking up this whole time? What happened to the whole making her fall in love with you plan?”

Catra sits up, grabbing her blueberry cake. “Do you think I’m enjoying this?” Her face flushes. Truth is, she had been enjoying it. It was unreasonable to think that Adora would be good her first time, but after Catra and her talked about what they each wanted to do, Catra couldn’t deny that she loved their little secret. She takes a bite to hide her blush. “Okay, I am. But I’m still pissed she doesn’t want to date me officially.”

“Have you asked her? Maybe she thinks you guys are dating.”

“No I haven’t, but she doesn't call me pet names and doesn’t want us seen in public together besides at the bar. So if we are dating, she’s a pretty shitty girlfriend.” 

Scorpia looks around at the mostly empty room and sits down at the end of the table. “Okay, what would you do next if you were really dating her? Like if this was a normal relationship, what would you do to fix it?”

Catra pauses for a moment, thinking of what she should do. She hasn't had a lot of girlfriends before, not any that lasted longer than a few weeks, and she didn’t take that into consideration when she decided to revenge-date Adora. Catra never got to this point, rarely ever getting past casual. What would a normal relationship do now? Talk? 

“Maybe we should do something more private, or more intimate,” Catra thinks aloud. “We don’t have any inside jokes or anything special that makes us in a relationship vs just sleeping together. That might be the key to us officially dating.”

“Something special? Like matching necklaces?”

Catra waves a hand, dismissing the idea. “That’s more of an anniversary gift.” Not that she actually knows, but it feels more like an anniversary present. “I don’t know. We need a place that’s just ours, and that cannot be Adora’s dorm. The bar is fine when she comes to my shows, but it’s not like I can take her backstage or anything. Or maybe something that’s only ours.”

“You need a secret garden,” Entrapta pipes in.

The two girls look at her. “Yeah, a secret garden. But there’s nothing like that on campus.”

Entrapta starts typing on her phone then flips it around. She pulled up a 3D map of their campus showing the tops of buildings. Entrapta smiles bright, like she’s the saviour to all their problems.

“What is this?” Catra cautiously asks.

“It’s my lab building.” It’s quite tall, at least two or three stories higher than the rest of the buildings around it. Glass windows, modern looking white infrastructure. Catra thinks it looks nicer than most art buildings and the irony of the science buildings looking more artistic than the art ones.

“That’s nice,” Scorpia starts. “But what does it have to do with anything?”

Entrapta swipes on her phone to show the one across from her lab and points to it. It’s smaller and obviously older than her lab. It has cream painted walls and is maybe two stories high. “This office hasn’t been used in a decade. Sometimes I go over there to work because it’s so quiet. I’m usually the only one over there since you have to have a key card or the code to get in. My superiors don’t go in there, so you would have the whole place to yourself. It even has roof access.”

“Entrapta you’re brilliant!” Catra shouts. “That’s perfect, our own rooftop. Wait, will people see us up there?”

Entrapta shrugs. “Probably, but if you go at night, people shouldn’t be working then.”

“Then you can have a night under the stars,” Scorpia adds, shimmying her shoulders.

Catra claps her hands together. It was all coming together. A peaceful night under the stars, some deep talks about life, and only each other’s breathing filling any silence between them. It was the perfect plan for falling in love. Catra grinned at the hope of it all.

“I’m gonna make Adora fall in love with me once and for all.”

Shockingly, the Tuesday study group was more popular than the Friday one. Bow runs most of the groups, creating the slides and extra material every week. He’ll make one hell of a TA, Adora thinks. Their class had their last unit exam next Tuesday, and if they failed, they have one comprehensive final over all the material they’ve learned to save their grade. They all had exactly one week to prepare before all hell broke loose.

Bow set the sessions to start at five pm every Tuesday and Friday, giving everyone enough time to eat after classes. Some people arrived right on time, most arrived late, but Adora, Bow, and Glimmer always walked together and arrived early to get the room set up. Bow hooked up his computer to the projector so everyone could see the slides he made and the study guide that Professor Netossa created for them.

Bow furiously worked on his notes, finalizing any details before he led the session, and Adora and Glimmer chatted. They didn’t have the urge to lead like Bow did, both of them noting that only Bow out of the three of them could explain the material like it was breathing. Adora had been coming to each session, somewhat out of guilt for missing the first one over a month ago, and noted how much it helped her. 

Adora was smart, averagely in her opinion, but when it came to courses like these with heavy tests and possible ultimatums, she never did as well as she thought she could. She’d always get in her head when it came to test day, debating which answer was best when they were all correct to some degree. When they had done the essay a few months ago, Adora got an A while the class average was a C. She could write and write about anything. Testing, though, that was a different story.

A few minutes before the session started, people slowly started filing in. There were a lot more people than usual, about twenty more actually making the room a tight fit. Not surprising, though. Now is the time that people started to realize that if they don’t put in more effort into class that they would fail. And Netossa wouldn’t fall for puppy dog eyes or begs. Catra comes in right on time. Adora gives her a smile, and Catra gives one back. Bow clears his throat, and everyone turns to face him.

“Alright, everyone,” Bow says. Only Adora noticed the slight shake in his voice. “We’re going to go over this last unit and then use the study guide Professor Netossa gave to us for the comprehensive final. And I made a fun little review game for us to play later.”

The students don’t say anything, some shift to grab their notes or textbooks, but Adora and Glimmer give him two thumbs up. He relaxes. “Okay, let’s go over the key terms first.”

Adora reads over the terms and key concepts, recalling them easily. Bow asks some questions from the textbook, and though Adora doesn’t answer, she knows them in her mind. She reread her textbook a thousand times once she started to realize she was falling a little behind. Adora notices that it’s the same five people answering: Catra, Glimmer (even though she’s wrong a quarter of the time), occasionally Adora, and then two other of the smart people who always answer in class. Everyone else just sat in silence, often taking pictures of Bow’s slides or scrolling on their phone. Catra was especially eager to answer, and for some reason it always pissed Glimmer off.

“Personally,” Catra continues on about one of key concepts they’re reviewing, “I think nurture has the greatest effect on people because we can unlearn predisposed bad habits.” Adora sees Glimmer fight an eyeroll. She side-eyes her friend, and Adora thinks she sees a hint of jealousy in Glimmer’s expression.

“I agree. How we learn and grow is more influential than what’s in our genes,” Bow states. “What do you think, Adora?”

Adora opens up her mouth, not able to think of anything remotely right to say. Bow went off script for this one. They didn’t cover which one was better or more powerful than the other. This wasn’t in her textbook or any lecture notes. She knows that there’s two sides to the nature vs nurture debate. But right now she couldn’t remember. Nature–genes, biology, and genetic predisposition. Nurture–how people were raised? Right. Maybe she should just agree with the group.

“Yeah, nurture is the better one,” Adora spits out.

“Well, they’re both good,” Glimmer argues.

“Right,” Adora backtracks. “I mean that it’s more influential.”

She sinks back into her seat as other people give their opinion. Catra’s brow dips ever so slightly, like she can see right through Adora. The group talks more, going over the questions in the guide that Professor Netossa made for the class. Adora knows some of the answers, like what’s the difference between perception and attention. But whenever Bow uses a question of his own or words it in a different way, Adora doesn’t have a clue. It’s like she knows everything on a basic level. She’s memorizing, not learning. A small panic builds in her chest, but she pushes it down trying to redirect her focus.

“Oh, this one we haven’t covered in a while. What’s an example of classical and operant conditioning? Make sure you can explain the difference between both,” Bow reads aloud. He scrolls through his notes, pulling up the chapter focusing on this topic.

Catra raises her hand like she’s in elementary school. “Classical conditioning is learning through association, like in Pavolv’s dogs when the dogs associated the bell sound with dinner which would make them drool whenever the bell rang.”

Glimmer mutters something about Catra being a smartass.

“What was that, Sparkles?” Catra sarcastically asks.

“I just said you are so smart. And it’s Glimmer, by the way.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s Sparkles.”

Glimmer rolls her eyes, but Adora doesn’t think she’s too annoyed.

“Operant conditioning,” Adora repeats under her breath. “What is it?”

“Adora, do you remember?” Bow asks, sounding too much like a teacher.

“Uh. Classical conditioning is through association, so that means operant conditioning is through, learning?” Her voice raises on the last word, not confident in her answer.

“Kind of,” Bow says, softening the embarrassment for Adora. “They’re both learning processes. What’s the two main terms for operant conditioning? It’s when you give or take away good and bad things.”

“Oh, oh!” Glimmer shouts, raising her hand before Catra gets the chance to. “Reinforcement and punishment!”

“Yes! And what’s the difference between the two?”

“Reinforcement is designed to make a desired behavior more likely. Punishment is meant to decrease the likelihood of unwanted behaviors,” Catra says.

Glimmer grunts, crossing her arms. “I knew that.”

Catra grins. “Sure, Shimmer.”

Adora excuses herself, needing a minute away from everyone. She walks outside the room, feeling like she can breathe again, and sits on the nearest chair. She knew that none of this came naturally to her, but this session was a major slap in the face. She went to their weekly groups, she shouldn’t feel so far behind.

The door opens, and Adora sits up straight, pretending like nothing was wrong. She doesn’t turn around, hoping whoever walked out doesn’t notice her. They do.

“Adora, are you okay?” Catra asks. She stands in front of Adora. “You seemed kinda stressed in there.”

“How do you remember everything?” Adora asks.

“What do you mean?”

“From class. You know every answer and can explain it like you’re the professor while I can only remember five basic terms. How do you do it?”

“I just reread my notes, I guess. Pay attention in class and go to these study sessions.”

“That’s it?”

Catra nods. “That’s all I do. And I have a friend who’s a science wizard, so I can always call her if I’m confused about something, which is an added bonus.”

“I do all of that. So why don’t I know the answers?” Adora huffs out. “What am I doing wrong?”

Catra crouches down. “All you need is a little more effort in your studies. Maybe you can go to Netossa’s office hours or something. Or we can study together, too. You’re smart, Adora. You can do this.” Catra looks around at the empty library for a moment, making sure no one is around or watching, and stands up to kiss the top of Adora’s head. “Test anxiety is a beast. But you know your stuff, I saw you in there. Don’t let the fluffy wording get to you.”

Adora nods, not feeling much better.

Catra doesn’t move, but her eyes drift away, purposefully not looking at Adora. “Okay, I wasn’t going to tell you this yet, I was going to wait till after this, but I’ve got a surprise for you. Get through this session and then we’ll spend some time together. Just you and I, no Freud or Piaget or any nonsense.”

A surprise? Only for Adora? That does lift her spirits. Adora smiles, thanking Catra for the encouragement, and heads back into the humid, uncomfortable room. Catra uses the restroom before they’re both back in the room. Bow suggests for the last half hour, they do a review game he made with questions from the study guide to prepare for the test. The group agrees and plays a few rounds of the kids game, and Adora found it quite helpful. She started getting the hang of it the last round they played. She never placed last which she thinks is good and naturally Catra and Glimmer were always in the top three, Catra beating Glimmer everytime.

Glimmer groans. “How did you keep winning?”

Catra grins. “I’m just that good.”

Bow wraps up the session a little before eight. Everyone leaves, including Catra, while Adora and Glimmer help clean up and put back any extra chairs the group brought in. While they do, Catra texts Adora to meet her at a random building in the science division. Catra sends her address. Adora’s never been on that side of campus before. The room is clean, and Bow, Glimmer, and Adora walk outside.

“You guys wanna go grab dinner or something?” Bow asks. “I think the food court is open for another hour.”

“Yes, I’m starving,” Glimmer draws out.

Adora clenches her teeth, feeling bad for ditching her friends, again. “I’d love to, but I’ve got some stuff to work on. Next week for sure.”

Glimmer boos her and gives her a hug as she and Bow walk off. Adora’s phone vibrates, but it’s not Catra. 

Glimmerish: wish me luck!!! ;)

Adora chuckles.

Adora: don’t get pregnant tonight. he hasn’t proposed yet.

Glimmerish: *YET

Catra almost feels guilty for distracting Adora in class. She knows that Adora stares at her through most of the lectures, and Catra, like the maniac she is, just lets her. She occasionally will look over her shoulder towards Adora, only long enough to drive the blonde girl crazy. Now, she wanted to go back in time and force Adora to focus on the lecture. But this is what she wanted. She wanted Adora to be a mess, to put her whole focus on Catra and screw herself over in every way possible. Now that it’s slightly happening, she doesn’t like the feeling of it. She thinks of ways she could help Adora study, but shakes the thought from her head. This is what was supposed to be happening. It’s fine. Everything is going to plan.

Adora looks relieved when she sees Catra, obviously lost on this side of campus.

“Where did you bring us?” Adora asks. She looks around at the buildings and trees outside, but it’s too dark to really see anything. It took Adora almost an hour after the study group to clean up then find the building. Catra’s went to set things up while she waited.

Catra walks up the few steps to the old building’s door. Adora follows. “This is my surprise.” She enters the code and the girls enter the dark building. Adora hesitates for a moment and Catra grabs her wrist and pulls her inside. Only the emergency lights are on and Catra admits that this could be the start of a horror movie. Still, she tugs on Adora’s arm, pulling her down the hallways and up a stairway, stopping at the very top.

“Okay, here it is,” Catra says, uncontrollably grinning. She opens the door to the rooftop, and Adora gasps. The roof is covered in plastic candles with a blanket spread out in the center of it. There was a little basket and cooler full of food with a small stack of blankets to the side.

“What is all this?” Adora asks, in awe. She looks at Catra, almost like she’s going to cry.

“I was thinking that we don’t really have something of our own besides the bar. I know you don’t always want to go out, but I thought this was a good compromise. A picnic under the stars, so that every night can be ours.” Catra pauses. That sounds more cliche than it did in her head. “I hope it’s not too much or anything. I set up the lights during the day so I couldn’t tell how bright it was going to be or how cold it was–”

Adora hugs her mid sentence. Catra hugs her back, tightly, relieved that it worked. She pulls back from Adora, sliding her hands down the girl’s arms and back to her wrists.

“Oh, I bought some dessert for us.” Catra tugs Adora down to the blanket and opens up the cooler. She grabs the food she snagged from Scorpia’s bakery (not purely out of convenience, but because she really enjoyed the food there). On the blanket, she places her favorite cake, some cannolis, a truffle cheesecake, and some forks and napkins.

“Catra,” Adora says, her eyes darting to the food and the candles, then back to Catra. “This is amazing. How did you do all this?”

“My friend gave me a tip about an abandoned office on campus. And the food is from my other friend’s bakery. Which we have to go to sometime. The food there is great.”

“But why did you do this?”

Catra pauses, then softly says, “Because it’s you.”

Adora smiles, with a hint of guilt behind it. Catra doesn’t give her a second to speak, she hands Adora a fork and tells her to dig in. They talk about the food, Adora agrees that it’s amazing. She mentions that she’s always loved cheesecake, Catra says she’s always loved blueberry things. They talk about simple things, things that don’t feel like life or death at the moment. As their conversation goes on, the girls slowly lay down to look at the stars, just like Catra hoped they would do. 

“Do you know any of the constellations?” Catra asks.

Adora shakes her head. “Not really. I used to study them when I was little, but I never got good at it.” She points up, tracing the stars with her finger. “That one there, with the long horizontal and vertical line and the little curve. I think that one is Andromeda. I think. Oh and that one.” She shifts her hand over. “The one that kinda looks like a zig zag. I think that is Cassiopeia.”

“So you lied, you do know about the stars,” Catra taunts.

Adora drops her arm. “I guess I do.” Silence falls between them. Campus is relatively quiet. The loudest thing between them is Catra’s heartbeat. She hopes Adora can’t hear it. 

Catra turns on to her side to face Adora. “Can I ask you something?” 

Adora does the same, pulling her knees in and her arm under her head. “Nothing ever good comes after that.”

“No. It’s nothing. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Catra takes a breath. “I was wondering if you thought about you, lately. Have you made any revelations about yourself, or what you’re feeling?”

Adora rolls onto her back, looking at the stars again. “I have, but it hasn’t been helping. I’m still where I started. I guess I kinda expected myself to have all the answers by now. That was unrealistic. I’ll never have all the answers, but it would be nice to know what to call myself.”

“What do you mean? Like, label-wise?”

“Yeah, I guess.” She pauses, eyes still on the sky. “What am I? Am I gay, and am I still a little straight?”

“Well, bisexuality does exist. And all of the other identities that fall underneath the bi-umbrella.”

“I mean.” She places her palms over her eyes and sighs frustratedly. “Like, do I like men? Was that all a phase? What if this is all a phase? Maybe I’m not gay at all. Maybe in the future I’ll end up with a man and have four kids. But thinking of that future for myself just makes my stomach churn. I’d be exhausted with life. I don’t want to end up like that.”

Catra stares at her, reminiscing on the days she feared the same as Adora. All those years being confused as to why her childhood friends wanted husbands, but when she thought of herself being married, well, she never got that far in her future. Knowing from a young age that men weren’t going to be in her future, not romantically at least. Never wanting Kens and always wanting Barbies–not to mention having all of her Barbies raising families together. That comphet pain is all too familiar and pulls at Catra’s (small) humanity strings. Adora’s too sweet for this pain.

Breaking out of her thoughts, Catra gently reaches over and pulls Adora’s chin so her head falls over towards Catra. Tears spill out of Adora’s eyes as she turns. Catra wipes them away and places a kiss on Adora’s forehead. Adora closes her eyes, peacefully sighing and smiling as Catra’s lips meet her skin.

“How did that make you feel?” Catra asks as she sits back.

Adora nods slightly. “Good.”

Catra bites the inside of her lip. She reaches forward again, but this time kisses Adora’s lips, grazing the girl’s neck with her fingertips.

As Catra pulls away, she asks, “And that?”

Adora breathes out, opening her eyes to look at Catra. “Really good.”

“Then that’s all that matters.” Catra scoots closer to Adora, laying her head on Adora’s shoulder, placing a hand on Adora’s stomach. “Labels are supposed to help you, not hinder you. You can be a lesbian, bi, pan, ace, aro, or any combo of those. Feelings are fluid. You’re gonna feel something now that in five years will feel totally different. I guess just focus on the ‘now’ feelings. What do you want now? That’s more important than what’s going to happen in the future.”

Adora doesn’t verbally respond. She takes Catra’s hand, intertwining their fingers and squeezes tightly. But Catra doesn’t need a response. That gesture was enough. Catra rubs the back of Adora’s hand with her thumb. Adora ever-so-slightly breathes faster.

“Catra,” she breathes out, shakily.

She hesitates for a moment, but does turn around to face Adora, pushing up with her free arm. Eyes still watery, Adora smiles, grabs Catra’s back, and pulls her down for another kiss.

Catra was taken aback for a moment, but quickly sank into the kiss. She slides her knees around Adora’s hip for a more comfortable position. This was the first kiss Adora initiated since they went on their coffee date months ago, and Catra is exhilarated. This kiss feels like a promise from Adora, her first bold move to be with Catra. Her own way of saying “I want you.” Catra feels that promise in her bones and deep in her stomach.  

Over the past few weeks, she’s kissed Adora dozens of times to keep the game going. But this felt… different than the other kisses. Maybe it’s because they’re outside in the cold weather, or the fact they’re in a semi-public place that Catra spent a good two hours decorating till it was just right, but even she knows that’s wrong. If it were for either one of those reasons, she would be anxious and fidgety, worried that the two would get caught or catch something. Her heart was beating rapidly, but there was no fear in her chest to match her worries. She was calm, even happy at this moment. Vulnerable, she thinks, but pushes the thought away. Catra was right; this is what she wanted.

When finally Adora draws back, Catra shifts back to Adora’s side, curling and cuddling back in. 

“Can we stay up here for a bit?” Adora asks.

Catra kisses the girl's forehead, again (she can’t help it, Adora’s too sweet). “I’d like to. It’s like our own personal secret garden.”

“It’s a rooftop.”

Catra smiles “Metaphorical secret garden.”

Chapter Text

The only thing that’s been making Adora happy for the past few days is her and Catra sneaking up to their rooftop every night. Knowing that Catra would be waiting up there for her kept her anxiety and stress at bay. Everyone took the test and by Thursday had their results. Adora studied hard, putting in extra effort like Catra advised to do. Nonetheless, she barely passed. Ten points over a failing grade, and her overall grade dropped down to a C. That meant Adora had to take the comprehensive final to even possibly raise her grade up to a C+. 

The Friday after their exam, only Bow, Glimmer, and Adora showed up early. Adora was somewhat shocked seeing that the class average was low. Despite no one showing up, they decided to keep the session going.

About thirty minutes in, someone knocks, opens the door to come in, and quickly sitting down.

“Sorry I’m late,” Catra says, sitting and getting her stuff out.

“Catra?” Adora asks. At the same time, Glimmer says her nickname for Catra: “Scum?” Adora backhands Glimmer’s arm.

“I thought you had a show tonight,” Adora says.

Catra shrugs. “Rogelio and Kyle were sick, Lonnie and I decided to cancel.”

“Shows? Like theatre shows?” Bow asks.

“I’m in a band,” Catra corrects. “We call ourselves The Horde.”

“Oh, so I can call you Horde Scum,” Glimmer taunts, too proud of herself.

“You can call me whatever you want, Sparkles.”

Adora laughs, a little too much at Catra’s sarcasm. She swears she can see Catra blush.

“So, what are we working on?” Catra asks.

“Review guide for the final,” Bow says. Catra nods and opens her laptop. 

“So, everyone has to take that one, too?” Catra asks.

Everyone nods, not making eye contact with each other.

“Yeah, Professor Netossa doesn’t mess around with those exams. I wanna take the final to bump up my grade a little bit. Hopefully, at least,” Bow admits, eyes still not meeting Adora’s.

“Same,” Catra says. “My unit two exam wasn’t as high as I wanted it.”

“I basically failed this last test. The final is going to be my saving grace,” Glimmer tells.

Adora sighs, feeling a little less horrible. “I thought I was the only one who thought Netossa gives hard exams.”

“No, no,” Bow quickly says. “Those tests are something else.”

“Good thing you have all those notes and quizzes made for us then, Arrows.”

Bow nods. “Speaking of, I’ve been putting together questions from past quizzes and study guides to make a little review game for this session. I’m bummed more people didn’t show up, but now we can really get into the material.”

“Yeah, it’s more personal this way,” Catra says, locking her gaze in. Bow looks away, pulling up the material on his computer. Whatever Catra was getting at, she let go. They all get into the groove, filtering through their textbooks and playing more quiz games that Bow made up. Adora feels ten percent more confident with the material than she started with, and she thinks that’s good enough progress.

“So,” Bow says, breaking the silence at the end of the session. “There’s a party down at one of the frat houses tonight. Do you guys wanna go?”

“A frat party?” Catra asks, raising an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you’d be a frat boy, Arrows.”

“I’m not. Some of my friends told me to come,” Bow nonchalantly says. 

“We are your friends.” Glimmer aggressively points back and forth to her and Adora, excluding Catra who rolls her eyes in response.

“Glim, chill,” Adora instructs. Glimmer pouts. “A party sounds great. I could really blow off some steam.”

Catra starts to pack up her stuff, blatantly ignoring the conversation, and leave when Bow stops her. “We’d love for you to come, too, Catra.”

She pauses, turns back to the group, brow furrowed. “You don’t have to invite me just because I was here. It’s fine.”

“But we want you to go with us,” Bow argues. Adora’s eyes grow wide, begging Catra to give in. Even Glimmer nods in agreement.

Catra bites her lip and sighs. “Okay, fine. I’ve got nothing better to do tonight anyways.”

Adora smiles and Catra looks away, fighting a grin.

“Do you guys wanna get dinner beforehand?” Glimmer offers.

“Oh,” Catra says. She stops for a second, looking for her words. “I can’t go out like this.” She gestures to her leggings and oversized shirt. “I need to change.” 

“That’s fine, Bow, Adora, and I can grab you something then.”

Bow presses his mouth into a thin line. “Some guys from my communications class asked me to go pregame with them. I was planning on meeting everyone there.”

“Guys from communications?” Glimmer asks, a hint of disgust in her voice. “Since when have you been interested in communications?”

Bow shrugs. “My advisor said it would be good for me to take one for an elective. And ‘non-verbal communication’ sounded fun.”

“Okay, okay.” Glimmer takes a breath. “Then Adora and I–”

“Glim, I’ve got to go back to my room first,” Adora interrupts. “Maybe we can all–”

Glimmer interrupts her back. “It’s fine. It’s fine. We can just all meet at the party. If that works for everyone?” Her tone grows icy in the last few words. Everyone nods to her question, not wanting to see what would happen if they say no.

Glimmer claps her hands together, mood drastically shifting. “Great! Bow, send us the info, Catra and Adora, go get dressed. Tonight’s going to be so fun!”

Adora decided to pick up Catra from her dorm so they could walk to Delta Kappa Theta. No, Delta Lambda Theta. That wasn’t right either, it was Kappa Delta Kappa. Adora couldn’t keep her head straight with all the different frat and sorority names. Any time she said them she felt like she was back in her high school physics class. She texted Catra asking for her dorm number and what not then headed to her building, anxiously knocking on Catra’s door.

Catra looked stunning, and Adora couldn’t help her jaw dropping reaction to the girl’s outfit. A tight white baby tee with maroon long sleeves, a bright red bralette underneath the pretty sheer top, and black jeans with two big red stars on the butt. She looked like a rockstar, and it made Adora feel underdressed in her basic jersey, jeans, and her classic red jacket. 

“What do you think?” Catra asked. She closed her dorm door and did a little spin letting Adora take in every part of her outfit.

“You look amazing,” Adora compliments.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Catra flirts.

Adora blushes. She fumbles over her words, trying to graciously flirt back/ “I’d feel better if I didn’t have this ginormous cold sore on my lip.” Thinking about it makes her lip throb.

“Oh, I know right? I’m wearing a colorful outfit and yet this sore is still the most noticeable thing about me.”

“Catra, you are hot. No one is going to notice one little blemish on you.” Adora hears faint mumbling around them. “Did you hear that?”

Catra kicks her door, making sure it’s shut, then takes Adora by the arm. “Nope, not a thing.”

They walk to the party, and Adora is flirting up a storm. Courteously, she hopes. In her mind, Adora’s still drooling over Catra in that outfit. Hopefully on the outside she’s holding herself together better.

They pass through the frat/sorority neighborhood, noting how similar they all are. Same build, same decor, same ominous weed smell filling the air. The only difference is that Delta Kappa Theta Sigma Omicron (or whatever it’s called) is packed with people and lit up with flashing lights like a club. As the two girls, hesitantly, walk in, more people run past and slam into them. Adora brushes off her jacket. They’re both met with a wave of heat, blinding lights, obnoxiously loud music, and some more ominous smells. Adora coughs as nauchauntly as she can while they search for Glimmer and Bow. Bow is nowhere to be seen. Glimmer, however, is in the back of the grand living room by herself, drink in hand and a scowl plastered to her face. Catra acknowledges the sight, giving Adora a hesitant look.

“Glim? Where’s Bow?” Adora asks once they’re all together.

Glimmer huffs out, crossing her arms frustratedly. “He’s with his frat friends.”

“Frat friends?” Catra asks, just as confused as the rest of them. “Since when has he been in a frat?”

“Apparently he isn’t in one yet, but they’ve been trying to recruit him all semester. I got here like half an hour ago and when he came over to say hi, freakin’ Sea Hawk dragged him away to play beer pong. They’re desperate for him to join.”

Adora raises an eyebrow at her friend’s pretend curse. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Bow can be friends with whoever he wants.” Glimmer pauses, losing her composure. “But does it have to be with these icky frat guys? He’s not like them.”

“What if he is?” Catra says. Adora elbows her.

“Don’t add fuel to the fire, Catra. Glim, he can have other friends. And he can still be friends with you and hang out with different people.”

Bow stumbles into the room, catching all of the girls’ eyes. Glimmer quickly grabs both Adora and Catra and pulls them all close together. Too close, Adora thinks. They look like they’re huddling up. Glimmer fake laughs as Bow comes over. Catra shoves Glimmer’s arm off of her and steps away from the group.

“Speak of the devil,” Catra mutters.

“My friends!” Bow shouts, opening up his arms to hug all of them, even Catra.

Bow didn’t change out of his clothes from the group and he reeks of alcohol already. Looks like he really did pre-game with these guys, and all of them notice. A faint grimace crosses Glimmer’s face and Catra’s nose creases at the scent.

“I’ve missed you guys so much,” Bow admits, stepping away.

“We saw you like two hours ago,” Catra fact checks.

He shrugs. “It feels like ages ago.”

“Well, while you were here, Adora, Catra, and I went out and had some dinner and told some funny jokes and hung out. You won’t be part of some good inside jokes now,” Glimmer taunts. Catra creases her forehead. 

Bow frowns like a sad puppy. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Adora reassures. “We’re all here now and we’re gonna have a great time, right?”

“Totally,” Catra chuckles.

Bow nods and walks up to the wall to lean up against. “I wanna get deep with you guys. How’s life? What’s something you’ve never told anyone? How has your life changed in the past, I don’t know, like six months?” 

“And that’s the cue for drinks. I’m too sober for this. Do you guys want anything?” Glimmer asks.

Bow and Adora shake their heads. Catra’s hands are on her hips, and Glimmer weaves her arm through Catra’s, interlocking their elbows. Catra tries to tug out of Glimmer’s grip, but the girl holds tighter and pulls them away. “Okay let’s go, Horde Scum.”

Adora laughs at Catra’s misery, leaning her head up against the wall and watching the party around her. Bow matches her energy, though he side-eyes her. Once she catches it, she turns towards Bow, giving him a curious expression. “So, what deep topics do you wanna talk about?”

Bow bites back a smirk. “I know you’re dating someone.”

Adora chokes on air. “What are you talking about?”

“You,” he says, like it’s so obvious. “We’re talking about you.”

Adora fakely laughs. “I think it’s time to slow down on the punch.” She reaches across to grab his cup, but he moves it out of reach and frowns. “I forgot how fun drunk Bow is.”

“Adoraaa,” he draws out, whining like a toddler. “I know there’s someone else in your life right now. You’ve been super distant with Glimmer and I and you’ve been busy almost every night ‘cause you’re ‘studying.’ You’re lying about that, which only can mean you’re seeing someone in secret.” He whispers the last two words. 

“I’ve been distant?” Adora asks.

Bow nods. “I thought for a while you didn’t want to be friends with us anymore. Like over summer, you barely talked to us. I only know what you did ‘cause Glimmer was giving me updates. And she only knew ‘cause you two were living together. But now I don’t think that’s true. You could have not come tonight. You could have ignored us in class or not come to our study groups. But you did. So I know you still care about us, but there has to be someone or something else going on. We love you Adora. I love you.”

“I love you too, Bow,” Adora laughs. “You’re quite the detective.” Adora knows she’s been distant with her friends, but she never thought that it would cause a rift in their friendship. They’ve always been a close knit group. She didn’t think anything could affect that. But she has been. These secrets and insecurities are drawing her away from her friends. Can she tell them what’s been going on?

“It’s all because of my non-verbal communication class,” Bow says, raising his cup up and breaking Adora out of her thoughts. He takes another drink. “Now, who’s the lucky person?”

“There isn’t anyone.” The truth would be better sober, right?

Bow wiggles his finger contradictorily. “That’s not true.”

“How do you know?”

“Because of that.” He points towards Adora’s cold sore. Adora pushes his hand back.

“I’ve been sick a lot this semester,” she lies.

“Sure. But it could be from a lover given the other circumstances.”

Adora shakes her head. “Ew, no Bow. No one says ‘lover’ like that. Let’s get you some water.”

As Adora starts to take Bow by the hand, Catra and Glimmer come back. Glimmer walks substantially faster than Catra and hands her drinks Bow. Adora immediately takes them instead.

“Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee,” Glimmer shouts as runs to the nearest bathroom. Her shouts slowly fade into the music. The three of them watch as she runs.

“Woah,” Adora says. “She’s got energy.”

“She found soda in the fridge,” Catra informs. “She clearly didn’t have a lot as a kid.”

“I know her mom. She couldn’t even have candy on Halloween.”

“That’s when she’d sneak into my house and eat my candy,” Bow says. He stares into space for a moment, reminiscing on his childhood.

Catra scrunches her forehead. “Is Bow okay?”

Adora shrugs. “He gets emotional when he drinks.”

Catra shrugs, too, and takes a sip of her drink. She flinches when the cup is up to her lips, curses, and brings her fingers up to the corner of her mouth. “Damn, this cold sore is killing me.”

Bow hiccup-laughs, snapping back into reality. “That’s funny, ‘cause Adora and I were just talking about her…”

Adora’s eyes widen. So do Catra’s. Bow looks to Adora, then her cold sore, then to Catra and her sore. He goes back and forth between the girls, squinting his eyes in suspicion. He gasps in realization, and Adora’s stomach drops. In sync, Catra and Adora each grab one of the boy’s arms and drag him into the nearest room, shutting and locking the door behind them.

“Bow, Bow, Bow,” Adora shouts. What should she do? Tell Bow everything? That her and Catra are hooking up and she’s ninety-nine percent sure she’s a lesbian. That thought made her stomach churn. But how long could she keep lying to her friends? How much longer could she keep Catra a secret?

Catra stares at her, looking to see how Adora is going to play this.

“I promise this isn’t what it looks like.”

Catra takes a step back, eyes dropping.

“Don’t try to gaslight me, Adora. I can use my common sense. I know how cold sores are spread. It’s just like mono.”

“Have experience in that, do you?” Catra remarks. Adora elbows her in the side.

“Bow, it’s just a coincidence. It’s flu season, everyone is getting sick. I’m surprised you and Glimmer don’t have some.” 

“No, no. Catra is the secret person,” he points an accusing finger at Catra. “She’s been your secret for months now.”

“Adora and I are just friends. Nothing more.” 

“Liars. I’ve seen you guys in class. You two make googly-eyes at each other all through our lectures. You sit on the opposite sides of the room and I can still feel your homosexual longing for each other.”

Catra gags. “Arrows, don’t say it like that.”

“Wait, how long have you noticed that?” Adora asks.

Bow looks up to think. “Since like the third week of psych.”

“Oh my god.” Adora runs her hands over her face. Catra looks dumbfounded. The two look at each other, obviously caught in their lies. Bow gasps, brings his fists up to the corner of his mouth, and giggles excitedly.

“I knew it! I’m so glad you two finally got together. You guys make a cute couple.”

Adora smiles, but Catra frowns. “We haven’t decided on a label yet.”

“Oh?” Bow asks. “But you guys act all cute during our study sessions.”

“Great, so more people might know,” Adora says. Catra’s frown stays strong.

“Enough about Adora and I,” Catra says, switching the subject. “What about you and Sparkles? You say we make ‘googly-eyes’ at each other all the time. That’s big talk coming from someone who looks at the girl covered in body glitter like she’s the queen of the whole world.”

Bow swipes his hand. Adora knows where this is going, unfortunately. Glimmer is madly in love with Bow but Bow doesn’t have the same feelings. Glim’s never been good about hiding any of her feelings and constantly wears her emotions on her face. Bow’s known about her crush for years and has handled it with grace. But at the end of the day, he’s not who she needs. “I’m waiting for her to make the first move.”

Adora blinks, dumbfounded again. “Hold on, you like her, too?”

“I’ve liked her since freshman year of high school,” Bow admits. His expression goes shocked. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Bow, oh my god. This is new,” Adora babbles out.

“Did you listen to him at all? This is not new,” Catra sarcastically remarks.

“I don’t wanna ruin our friendship. Our trio works perfectly. It would get weird if I started dating Glimmer.”

“No!” Adora says. “No it wouldn’t. It would be amazing.”

“You guys are kinda perfect for each other,” Catra quietly says, like she’s admitting defeat.

Bow shakes his head. “I need another drink. I need to find Glimmer. Maybe not in that order”

He starts to run to the door, but Catra and Adora stop him before he runs through it like a bull. He stumbles backwards when he rebounds off their arms.

“Woah there, tiger,” Catra says. “Let’s get you a little more sober before you start doing things you’ll regret.”

“No. I’m not going to tell her. It will ruin things.”

“Okay, that’s fine,” Adora agrees. “But Catra’s right. Water would be good for you right now.” 

Bow exaggeratedly nods. “I will get some water.” He walks past them and fumbles with the doorknob, not remembering it’s locked. Catra sighs, unlocks it, and opens the door. Bow thanks her and runs out. 

Adora walks out, but Catra pulls her back in by the wrist, locking the door for a second time. Adora gives her a cheeky grin, but drops it once she sees Catra’s disappointed face. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Catra asks, anger in the back of her voice. “Your friend figured out we’re…about us, and you completely denied it.”

“I,” Adora starts. She doesn’t know what to say. “I wanted to wait till he’s sober to tell him the truth.”

“You’re waiting, right,” Catra says. The anger builds more. She turns her back to Adora and starts to pace. “I’m so tired of you waiting for the right time.”

“What do you mean? You said you never wanted to rush me coming out.”

“Did you hear how Bow was talking about me? He said I was ‘the secret.’ The thing you’ve been hiding, like I was some burden. Even after he figured it out, you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell him about me.”

“Catra, you’re not a burden.”

“Then why do you keep me hidden? I know coming out can be scary, believe me I know, but why can’t anyone know about us?”

“I don’t want us to become the hot gossip on campus. Is it so bad that I don’t want people to, I don’t know, fetishsize us?”

“That’s part of being in a small college. Everyone is up in everyone’s business. Especially when you’re not straight. It feels like you don’t want to be with me. You’ve been saying that you want to keep the fact that you’re gay a secret, but honestly, it feels like you want to keep me a secret.”

“That’s not true–”

“Why can’t we hold hands while walking around without you looking over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching? You can’t even relax when we’re on our rooftop. No one is up there! I make sure of it every time. Why can’t you acknowledge me when other people are around? What are you so afraid of?” Catra pauses, all her anger simmering down into sadness. “What do you want, Adora?”

“I-I want to be with you,” Adora shakily says. She does, she wants to show Catra off to every person she meets. She wants everyone to know that Catra is in a band and is the most amazing singer she’s ever heard. She wants everyone to know that she’s obsessed with Catra and every little thing about her. But Catra’s right, Adora has been hiding her. Not consciously, but still. She goes out to the queer bar every week and is more confident in her queerness, but when it comes to saying she’s going out with Catra, it feels like the world is going to collapse. Like every bad thing she’s worried about will happen.

“Did you hear what you just said? It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself into liking me.”

“I do like you. I want to be with you, it’s just hard for me–” Adora cuts herself off, not knowing what to say. She doesn’t want to make things worse.

“What’s so hard?” Catra asks, loudly. “Is it hard to like me?”

“No!”

“Is it hard being with me?”

“No. Just give me a second to think.”

“Am I hard to be around? Perfect little Adora can’t have the social reject draining her perfect status. Do you think I’m the reason everything is going wrong for you? Tell me. Is that what you think?”

Adora kisses Catra abruptly, hoping and praying that her actions will speak louder than words. Catra melts into it briefly, her hands tracing Adora’s hips, but quickly pushes away. “You don’t get to kiss me and make everything better. That’s not how this works.” Her tone is bitter. Her eyes fill up with tears.

Shit, shit, shit. “Catra, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to explain.”

“Just don’t,” Catra spits out. “I need to cool off.”

“Catra, don’t go,” Adora begs.

“I said I need to cool off. I’ll see you later, if you decide you want me by then.” She walks away from Adora, unlocks the door, and leaves without looking back. Adora, runs her hand through her hair again, blinking frustrated tears away, and punches one of the pillows a few times while letting out a frustrated groan.

Adora exits the room, looking for Catra everywhere. Catra is nowhere in sight. Sighing, Adora walks over to the kitchen area to pour herself a drink. Before she can take a sip, someone pulls her arm and drags her into the hallway. Adora curses, pushing the person’s hands off, and she’s greeted with a flurry of body glitter. She coughs from the sparkly dust, fanning it away when her friend’s eyes darken. Glimmer pulls Adora in by her shirt, making their faces extremely close.

“I don’t know what you were doing with Bow earlier, but you stay away from him, alright? I’ve been trying to get a moment with him alone for months and you will not ruin my chances. Got it?”

Adora shoves her friend away. “Yes, Glim. Jesus. Trust me, he’s all yours. Bow’s not my type.” 

“He’s handsome, cute, kind, and charming,” Glimmer says like she’s stating an obvious fact. “Bow is the perfect man, of course he’s your type. He’s everyone’s type.”

Adora sips from her cup, muttering at the same time: “You’d be surprised.”

“Where is he anyways?” Glimmer asks. “Someone named Scorpia said she saw him go into a room with you and Catra and then left alone.” She raises an eyebrow, meaning explain yourself, Adora.

Adora comes up with the quickest lie she could think of. “Oh, he seemed really drunk and Catra and I thought he was going to pass out, or puke. We were hoping to find the bathroom, but found a bedroom instead. I don’t know Glim, you may want to take him back to his dorm when you find him again. He wasn’t looking too hot, but he was insisting on finding you.” It wasn’t technically a lie, Adora thinks, more like a bent version of the truth. She could live with that. It’s not like she had another big secret she’s been lying about.

Glimmer’s whole demeanor changes and she blushes. “He was looking for me?”

Adora bites the inside of her cheek. “Yep. Again, emphasis on very drunk . I wouldn’t make a move right now.”

“But he wants me.” Glimmer has officially put on love goggles and has entered the tunnel vision of love. There’s no saving her now.

“Should we go look for him before he does something really stupid?” Adora suggests after a long, awkward silence of Glimmer fantasizing.

She sighs. “That's probably a good idea.”

They force themselves through the sea of people. It doesn’t take long for them to find Bow. In the dining room, a crowd has encircled around him and SeaHawk as they dance and sing on a table. Adora doesn't recognize the song (partially because of their slurred speech), but it sounds like a kid’s theme song. Something about having fun being friends. The crowd is cheering the idiots on. Adora laughs at her friend, loving seeing how ridiculous he looks. Glimmer frowns, almost like a scowl.

“Bow!” Glimmer shouts shortly in her mom voice. “Get down from there.”

Bow and Seahawk sing on, either not hearing her or not caring. Or both. Glimmer practically growls. Adora curls her lips in to stop laughing. Glimmer hands her cup to Adora and pushes through the crowd to get right in front of the table, still shouting at Bow and how stupid he looks. Both boys sing on. Glimmer, losing her sanity, climbs onto the table and takes the drinks out of their hands, pouring them out onto an innocent bystander. “Bow, it’s time to go home.” The crowd boos her.

“No, you can’t make me. You’re not my mom,” he slurs.

“You don’t have a mom.”

“Oh, right.” His attitude shifts, eyes droop, and he pouts. “You didn’t have to remind me.”

“For heaven’s sake,” Glimmer says, rolling her eyes as Bow hugs and drapes his whole body weight into her. She strokes his back. “But you have two wonderful dads who love you very much. And friends who know what’s best for you and also care about you. So, can we go home now and get some water in you before you puke?”

“But I want to stay with my buddy. My pal, my best bro, Seagull.”

“Seahawk,” he corrects.

“My bad, bro.” Bow pats his friend on the back. “We’re getting to know each other.” He leans down to Glimmer and whispers in her ear. “Plus he’s really hot.”

“You know what’s really not hot? You throwing up on this table in front of your new, friend,” Glimmer says through gritted teeth. “Seahawk will be here tomorrow and you can dance and sing as much as you want when you’re sober.”

“Okay,” Bow agrees, dragging out his words like a little kid. They both carefully climb off the table. “I can have other friends if I want to.”

“Yes you can,” Adora affirms, guiding both of her best friends.

“Anyways. Who wants to see me do some squats?” Seahawk asks.

The whole crowd cheers. Adora, Bow, and Glimmer all walk away from the scene, the sound of Seahawk counting slowly being muffled by the music in the next room. Glimmer guides Bow to the front door and Adora takes a detour to the kitchen to grab water for him. When she enters, she catches a glimpse of familiar black and red jeans. Catra.

Adora abandons the bottle and cups and drags Catra away from the people she’s talking to. “Look, I’m an idiot. I know that. And I’m sorry for what I said, or didn’t say. Let me take Bow back to his dorm and then we can really talk. Deal? I don’t want the night to end without apologizing.”

Catra’s face doesn’t move. “I don’t care what you do, Adora. But I’m here all night.”

“Just don’t leave until I come find you, okay?”

“I make no promises,” she says softly, lowering her eyes and turning back to her conversation.

Adora sighs. She has to focus on one thing at a time. Step one: get Bow home. Step two: figure out what she wants. Step three: talk to Catra. She repeats the steps over and over in her head as she grabs the water and cups and heads back to find her friends. They’re at the front door, Glimmer grabs her cup and takes one more swig before they leave. Adora discards her and hands the water bottle to Bow. “Drink some of this, buddy.”

“Is it vodka?” he asks.

“Just drink it,” Adora says, exasperated.

Bow reluctantly drinks the water on their way back to his dorm. It wasn’t a long walk from the party, should have only taken ten minutes, but drunk Bow loves shiny things and small animals. Every time he saw a piece of trash he had to pick it up and put it in his pocket, and every bunny he saw he had to chase. This trip took the three of them half an hour before Bow was back in his dorm. 

Bow swung open the door, tripping over some stray shoes, and face planted onto his bed. Glimmer and Adora looked around the room they’d been in a thousand times but noticed something was off. Half the room was empty. “Where’s your roommate?”

Bow shrugs, face shoved into his pillow. “Dropped out I think.”

“For how long?”

“Since midterms.”

“That was two months ago. Bow!” Glimmer covers her face and takes a deep breath before continuing. “You’ve been living alone for months now and you never thought to tell us?”

He groans and whatever he’s trying to say is muffled by the pillow.

“Glim, what are we going to do? We can’t just leave him by himself. Look at him,” Adora says, gesturing to Bow.

“I was kinda relying on the roommate to keep an eye on him. But without him here-” she sighs, fakely Adora thinks “-I’ll take care of him tonight.”

Adora raises an eyebrow. Glimmer doesn’t take her eyes off of her drunk best friend. Adora switches to a monotone voice. “What? No, Glimmer. Are you sure? Gosh, you’re such a good person.”

“I am, aren’t I?”

“Are you absolutely positive you want to do this? I can stay if you want.”

“No,” Glimmer snaps. “I mean, I can do it myself.”

“Okay,” Adora smirks, heading out of the dorm. “But no making out until he’s sober, or until you’re equally drunk.”

Glimmer flips off her friend as said friend closes the door. Instantly, Adora pulls out her phone and frantically texts Catra. She walks back towards the frat house as she types.

(12:43) Adora: we got Bow in bed. i’m coming back. where are you? 

(12:48) Adora: Catra?

(1:00) Adora: are you okay?

(1:03) Adora: i know you’re mad at me but i need to know you’re okay

(1:04) Adora: please please just respond so i know you’re okay

(1:10) Adora: please? I’m sorry

(1:11) Catra: I’m fine. Leave me alone

(1:11) Adora: where are you?

(1:12) Catra: I said leave me alone

(1:13) Adora: not until we can talk

(1:13) Catra: Drop it

(1:14) Adora: i know you’re pissed with me and you have every right to be. i was and am an ass. but i want to talk this out. i wanna explain.

(1:16) Catra: I don’t want to hear it

(1:17) Adora: what am i supposed to do then?

(1:18) Catra: Drop dead ig? Idrc what you do as long as you don’t bother me

(1:25) Adora: i’m coming around tomorrow. even if i have to sit against your dorm door for hours and wait for you, i’ll be there. i wanna fix this

(1:36) Catra:

When Adora finally looks up, she’s nowhere near the party and on a part of campus she barely goes to. It’s the middle of the night, everyone is either asleep or at a party. Adora finds the nearest bench and runs her hands through her hair. She leans back and pushes her palms frustratedly into her eyes. “How do I fix this?”

Her arms flop down to her sides as she sits up. She looks around at the unfamiliar area. There’s multiple posters for the restaurants at the food court, promotions for the random band coming to perform (that nobody is going to watch), reminders to head to the bookstore for whatever needs students may have. Adora stands up when her eye catches one of the flyers. Free student counseling with a peer mentor! Adora grabs the flyer, finds the phone number, and runs back to her dorm. 

She was going to fix this. Even if that means having an eight a.m. therapy session.

Chapter Text

“Change of plans,” Catra says as she and her friends walk into her dorm. Her roommate usually spends the nights at her boyfriend’s, making impromptu moments like these a lot easier. Catra tosses her backpack on her bed and runs to her closet, fishing out possible outfits to wear to a frat party. “Adora’s friends invited me to go to a party with them, so I’m going out with them tonight.”

“You’ve met Adora’s friends?” Scorpia asks while both her and Entrapta sit on the bed.

“I didn’t meet them meet them,” Catra argues. “They hold study group sessions for the class we’re all in. I needed the extra help, you know.”

Scorpia raises an eyebrow. “Sure.”

Catra holds up a top and turns to her friends. “Is this too trashy?”

“You’re going to a college party,” Scorpia deadpans.

Catra shrugs and throws the shirt on the ground. She rummages through more and more outfits, none of them feeling right. Granted, most of her outfits consist of long jeans, oversized t-shirts, or baggy flannels, none exactly right for this situation.

“Should I dress like the sorority girls?” Catra asks.

“Do you even have sorority girl clothes?” Entrapta asks.

Catra shakes her head. “No, but I’m going to a frat party. I don’t think most people are going to be wearing normal clothes. I’ve seen girls wear actual bikinis to class. I can’t imagine what they’ll be wearing tonight. I’ve gotta find an outfit for me that’s just raunchy enough to not stand out. Bonus points if I can get Adora all hot and bothered. Oh, maybe I can cut up one of my old shirts. Or I can see if my roommate has anything–”

Scorpia walks up to Catra placing her hands on the girl’s shoulders and turning her around. “Catra, you’re overthinking this. It doesn’t matter what you wear or what you do. Adora is right under your thumb. Her friends want you around and invited you to stuff. Everything is working out.”

“I just,” she trails off. What did she want? To look good? Naturally. Feel confident? She’s faked her attitude since high school, she’s a pro. All of her spirals come back to Adora. She wants Adora to think that she looks good, or that she wants to look good for Adora. She’s hanging out with Adora’s friends outside of academic context. It was kinda a big deal. “I just want to look nice.”

Scorpia’s grip tightens and she shakes Catra. “You’re in too deep. You see Adora everyday and you’ve met her friends. You’re hanging out with her friends. I think you’re getting attached. It’s time to start planning the attack.”

Catra brushes Scorpia’s arms off. “I’m not ‘getting attached.’” She uses her fingers to make air quotes. “I’m saying that tonight is not the right time to attack. She’s not committed to me enough. Once I have her trust completely, I’ll give you the go. But it’s not happening tonight. We don’t even know what we’re gonna do to her yet. It would be stupid to do something now with no plan.”

Scorpia narrows her eyes in suspicion. Catra adverts her gaze, not helping Scorpia’s accusations. Scorpia opens her mouth to say something, then closes it. She shifts her attention down to Catra’s lips and narrows her eyes ever further, almost to the point of shutting them completely. “Is that a cold sore?”

Catra lifts her hand to her mouth as she remembers the mark, her face reddening ever so slightly. “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about it.”

“Can you give that to Adora?”

“...I got it from her.” That first night on the rooftop was colder than she expected. Catra thinks she’s lucky she doesn’t have pneumonia. 

Scorpia's face remains blank in disappointment. “Fine, that will work, too.”

“What will work?”

“You, wildcat, are going to out Adora to her friends tonight at the party by doing nothing at all.”

Catra creases her forehead trying to contemplate what Scorpia means, then it hits her. “Our coldsores. If mine is on the right and Adora’s is on her left, also assuming her friends can be observant and I drop enough hints, they might connect the dots.”

Catra nods, grimly, not exactly like the plan. There was no reason for her anxiety and doubt. She searches for a reason, any excuse that might get her out of this. “Aren’t you forgetting one thing? We’re banned ‘from any and all parties.’”

“As a group ,” Scorpia corrects. “Entrapta, remind me of Sea Hawk’s exact words.”

Entrapta looks up at the two of them for a second, then to her phone, frantically typing and searching. When she finds it, she lifts up the speaker part of her phone up towards the girls. Sea Hawk’s voice comes out. “This little dumbass trio of yours is banned from any and all parties in any frat or sorority house from now until the end of time.” Entrapta pulls her phone back to her face and begins to scroll again.

“Fine,” Catra sourly agrees. “Sounds easy enough. I’ll text you throughout the night to keep you updated.”

“No need. Entrapta and I will both be there.”

Catra pauses. “You guys can’t be there. We’ll all be kicked out if you do.”

“We’ll sneak in after you do and figure something out,” Scorpia says. Catra doesn't like her tone.

Catra forces her arms to remain at her side, despite how much she wants to cross them and pout like a little kid. “I don’t need backup. I can do this on my own.”

“You will need backup if you decide to drop the bomb tonight.”

Again, something Catra could not argue against, though it felt like she was deliberately being undermined and unnecessarily surveillanced by her friends. She’s doing everything right and playing the part. What more could she do? This was her plan, anyways. She’s the one in charge, she’s doing all the heavy work. But she’ll need their help soon. Catra bites her tongue to stop her from arguing.

“Fine, you’re right. But be cool, or pretend to be someone else. We don’t need the princess squad catching onto us. All of them should be there tonight.” Them being what the trio called the main popular girls in high school. They were all treated like princesses. Everyone loved them, waited on them hand and foot, which is why the trio cleverly called them the princess squad.

“We’ll disguise ourselves,” Scorpia reassures. “I’ve been told I’m quite the spy.”

“I highly doubt that,” Catra banters.

Her phone vibrates from her pocket. She picks it up, swiping to open the text message from Adora. Catra grins, almost sheepishly.

Blonde Idiot: i wanna walk with you to the house. can i pick you up from your dorm in like 20?

Catra sends her address, dorm number, and the code to get into the building. And a little heart emoji, too. She shoves her phone back down and claps her hands together.

“Alright, you guys have twenty minutes to get me ready.” She opens her arms out. “Stylize me.”

The three of them decided for Catra to wear thin, tight, white baseball tee with maroon sleeves with a bright red bralette underneath. The color pierced right through the shirt, and Catra knew it would drive Adora mad (at least she hoped so). The black jeans with two red stars on the back she wore were ones she usually saved for her shows, but no better time to break them out.

“Woah,” Adora says, looking Catra up and down. Catra does a little spin, and Adora’s jaw drops more. “You look amazing.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Catra flirts. Adora’s got her favorite

“Awe, what a gentlewoman,” Scorpia mocks through the door, just loud enough to be heard from the hall.

Adora looks around. “Did you hear something?”

Catra instantly shakes her head, kicks her door to shut Scopria up, and links their arms and pulls Adora down the hall. “Nope. Not a thing.”

The small talk Adora made on the way was less than gracious, but Catra didn’t mind at all. Adora was practically drooling over her, and everything was going according to plan. She looks hot, Adora can’t think straight, and now she just has to drop hints and out Adora to her friends. Easy, right? This is what she wanted. For sure.

Both of them were distracted; Catra by her evil revenge scheme that had no plan whatsoever, and Adora by Catra’s ass. Catra was sure that their conversation didn’t make sense, but Adora didn’t notice. They both came back to reality once they got into the neighborhood. Frat guys didn’t mess around with weed and vapes. Catra wishes she brought her inhaler.

They pass through the crowd looking for Glimmer. Catra keeps her eyes out for Scorpia and Entrapta, too, but they should be coming later. Adora tugs Catra’s arm, pulling her to a lonely Glimmer.

“Where’s Bow?”

Sparkles huffs, too much like a princess. “He’s with his frat friends.”

“Frat friends? Since when has he been in a frat?” Catra asks. Bow never seemed like the type to join one of these. Out of Adora’s friends in highschool, she found Bow a little more tolerable. He was an honorary princess, never as bad as the rest of them.

“Apparently he isn’t in one yet, but they’ve been trying to recruit him all semester. I got here like half an hour ago and when he came over to say hi, freakin’ Sea Hawk dragged him away to play beer pong. They’re desperate for him to join.”

Catra bites her tongue to stop from laughing at Sparkles’ fake swear word. Adora raises an eyebrow. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“Bow can be friends with whoever he wants.” Glimmer pauses, losing her composure. Catra thinks she may burst into tears. “But does it have to be with these icky frat guys? He’s not like them.”

Catra taunts Glimmer more, and Adora elbows her in the side while she consoles her friend. As if on cue, Bow stumbles in, literally stumbles. Glimmer pulls all of them close like they were having an intimate conversation. Catra shoves Sparkles’ arm off.

“Speak of the devil.” Catra says. Bow trips over the rug, making her grimace. He goes in for a hug once he sees all of the girls. Catra stays frozen like a statue, not exactly sure what to do when Bow touches her.

Bow and Adora are genuinely happy, but Glimmer holds strong on her grudge. They make some small talk and Glimmer does everything she can to make Bow feel bad. Adora changes the subject, and Bow decides he wants to have some philosophy level conversations.

 “I wanna get deep with you guys. How’s life? What’s something you’ve never told anyone? How has your life changed in the past, I don’t know, like six months?” 

“And that’s the cue for drinks. I’m too sober for this. Do you guys want anything?” Glimmer asks.

Bow and Adora stoically shake their heads. Before Catra could react, Glimmer interlocks their arms and drags them away from the two, leaving the two girls to small talk away from their partners. Catra lets Glimmer drag her to the kitchen, not bothering to remove her arm. They’re obviously a touchy-feely group, she might as well get used to all of it. Once they’re in, Catra almost loses a shoe from how sticky the floor is. Despite her better instincts, she bends down to look at the floor.

“Oh god, what is this?” she says, regretting her choices and stands up. “Frats guys are the worst.”

Glimmer doesn’t hear her. She’s opening every cabinet looking for, something. 

“Glitterbomb,” Catra shouts, trying to get Glimmer’s attention. “What are you doing?”

She shuts the door angrily. “I’m trying to find something that will help Bow sober up.”

Catra goes over to the island and pours herself another drink. She leans on the counter as she speaks. “Why sober him up? He’s allowed to take a night off. It’s not like he’s going to take that extra final, nor any of us.”

Glimmer pauses. “You know?”

“That you guys held that session just for Adora? Yeah, I figured that out pretty quick once I walked in.”

“Why did you go today? We cancelled it online and emailed everyone who usually went on Fridays.”

“I wasn’t lying that my set got cancelled. I figured it couldn’t hurt to stop by and see what Friday’s sessions were like.” That and she wanted to spend a little extra time with Adora. She thought surprising Adora, again, might make things more interesting.

“But you don’t have to take the final either.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because if I passed with flying colors, then so did you, Horde Scum.”

Catra sips her drink. Glimmer was right, Catra got an almost perfect score on that last exam, and every other one, too. There was no need for her to stay earlier, but once she entered that room, Adora became more focused and relaxed. If Catra being there helped Adora study, then she’d stay the whole damn night. 

“I feel bad for her,” Glimmer admits.

“For Adora? Why?”

“There’s something going on. She’s been so, I don’t, distracted for the past few months.” Catra couldn’t be blamed for all of Adora’s problems. That would be unrealistic.

“So, what drink does your boyfriend like?” Catra asks, changing the subject. She pushes herself up and walks over to the stash of alcohol, grabbing one bottle and pretending to be a bartender in her mind.

“Pft. Boyfriend? What are you talking about?”

Catra freezes. “Arrows isn’t your boyfriend?”

“No,” Glimmer says, curiously. “What makes you think we’re dating?”

“Nothing,” Catra deflects. “What’s his drink?”

“You thought we were dating?” Glimmer excitedly asks, leaning over the counter.

“I think he thinks you two are dating. Now what’s his damn drink?”

“Gin and grapefruit, but just give him a soda instead.” Glimmer quickly says. Catra grabs the closest two liter and pours it in. “Why do you think he thinks that?”

Catra sighs, pushing the plastic cup towards Glimmer. “I don’t know, he looks at you like you hold every answer to his questions. Maybe it’s just because you guys were studying together, though. I’m not a couples therapist, I wouldn’t know. What drink do you want?”

Glimmer scrunches her face. “What would you recommend for me?”

Catra sinisterly grins. She walks over to the fridge and pulls out a few flavors of Mountain Dew knowing exactly what she’s going to give Glimmer. She pours and mixes the drinks in, making a colorful concoction and hands it over. Glimmer takes it cautiously. “What is this?”

“Essentially my version of a hard Baja Blast.”

Glimmer smells it, coughs from how strong the scent is, then hesitantly takes a sip. Once she’s swallowed, she shivers and Catra swears Glimmer’s pupils dilate. She speaks twice as fast now. “Wow! This is great! I’ve never had something so tangy and sour but kinda sweet at the same time. This is really really great. You’re making my drinks from now on.” 

“I’ll make you another one later.” Catra starts to walk out back to Adora and Bow, leaving Glimmer behind as she caffeinated babbles on. When Catras’s back out in the main area, she sees Scorpia and Entrapta watching her like a hawk. Scorpia’s wide, intense eyes say it all: get back to your job and stop hanging out with the enemy. Catra gives them a small nod, gesturing to her drink like they’d automatically know what she’ll do. Glimmer runs from behind Catra, chanting over and over that she has to pee. She hands her drinks over to Bow, and Adora takes them both.

“Woah. She’s got energy,” Adora remarks.

Catra rambles on about how she can only imagine that Glimmer wasn’t allowed to have sugar or soda as a child. Bow responds, sounding even more drunk than earlier, but Catra is thinking how she can casually drop hints while she knows her friends are watching. Tick tock , she can hear Scorpia say in her head. Well, shit, shit, shit, shit. Her friends were oblivious to the massive sore in the corner of her lip, so Catra would just have to be more obvious.

She takes a sip of her drink, pretending that it hurts the tender sore. “Damn, this cold sore is killing me.”

“That’s funny, ‘cause Adora and I were just talking about her…”

Catra’s heart stops once Bow figures it out. Well, there’s no turning back now. He looks to Adora then back at her repeatedly. Adora is losing her mind, Catra can see it in her eyes. Adora lunges forward to grab his arm, Catra follows trying to play along as they drag him into the nearest room. Which just happens to be someone’s bedroom.

“Bow, Bow, Bow,” Adora shouts. She stops for a moment as Bow slumps down onto the mattress, mouth open in shock. Catra leans in, waiting to see what Adora will say. “I promise this isn’t what it looks like.”

Catra stumbles backwards, taken aback by Adora’s response. She was so close to coming out, to telling her friends that they were together, so why did Adora stop? Why did she backtrack like being with Catra was a bad thing?

“Don’t try to gaslight me, Adora. I can use my common sense. I know how cold sores are spread. It’s just like mono.”

Catra can’t help her icy tone. “Have experience in that, do you?” Adora hits her, not making things better.

Adora and Bow go back and forth arguing, Adora trying to convince Bow he’s wrong and Bow trying to convince Adora he’s right. Catra tries to stay present, but her mind is going a million miles a minute. This was step one of the final plan, whatever the three of them were planning to do to Adora. She should feel good, but right now, she’s only feeling anxious and disappointed.

“I knew it! I’m so glad you two finally got together. You guys make a cute couple,” Bow says. Adora turns to Catra and smiles like she’s relieved to finally have someone know her secret. Catra frowns, not knowing how to feel right now. 

“We haven’t decided on a label, yet.”

“Oh?” Bow asks. “But you guys act all cute during our study sessions.”

“Great, so more people might know,” Adora says. Catra’s frown stays strong. She switches the subject to him and Glimmer because he talks about Adora and her any longer, Catra was going to scream. More people might know. Was that so bad? The end goal of this was to have people see them together, at least from Adora’s perspective. At the rate they’re going right now, though, Catra would never see the light of day. She would always be the secret, the thing Adora doesn’t want anyone to know about. Sure, it’s mainly Adora’s fear of being out, but that fear has hidden Catra. And Catra promised herself that she’d never hide herself.

When Bow tries to leave, Catra comes back to her body, mind becoming clear again. The girls sit him back down and urge him to get some water then go home. He agrees. Catra unlocks the door for him, Adora follows him out, but Catra immediately pulls her back in. They need to talk, now, before Catra’s head explodes.

“What’s wrong?” Adora asks.

“ What’s wrong? ” Catra mocks. Anger builds in her gut and she knows now that she’s going to give a great performance. She thinks of all the things Adora has done that’s pissed her off, letting everything she’s pushed down come up to the surface. “Your friend figured out we’re–” that they’re what? Sleeping together? Dating? Adora never asked to be anything more, and Catra’s tired of being the one to initiate things. “–about us, and you completely denied it!”

“I, I wanted to wait till he’s sober to tell him the truth,” Adora stutters out.

“You’re waiting, right,” Catra says, anger creeping into her shoulders and causing her to pace. “I’m so tired of you waiting for the right time.”

“What do you mean? You said you never wanted to rush me coming out.”

“Did you hear how Bow was talking about me? He said I was ‘the secret.’ The thing you’ve been hiding, like I was some burden. Even after he figured it out, you still couldn’t bring yourself to tell him about me.”

“Catra, you’re not a burden.”

“Then why do you keep me hidden?” Catra shouts, turning around to face Adora. Tears fill her eyes. “I know coming out can be scary, believe me I know, but why can’t your friends know about us?”

“I’m afraid they’ll slip it out or someone will overhear us. I don’t want us to become the hot gossip on campus. Is it so bad that I don’t want people to, I don’t know, fetishsize us?”

“We go to a small college. Everyone is up in everyone’s business. Especially when you’re not straight. That’s part of the whole experience. It feels like you don’t want to be with me. You’ve been saying that you want to keep the fact that you’re gay a secret, but honestly, it feels like you want to keep me a secret.” There it was, the nagging feeling Catra has had for weeks being aired out like dirty laundry.

“That’s not true.”

“Why can’t we hold hands while walking around without you looking over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching? You can’t even relax when we’re on our rooftop. No one is up there! I make sure of it every time. Why can’t you acknowledge me when other people are around? What are you so afraid of?” Catra goes in for the kill, but she doesn’t know who she’s hurting more. “What do you want, Adora?”

Adora steps backwards. “I-I want to be with you.”

Catra clenches her fists. “Did you hear what you just said? It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself into liking me!”

“I do like you. I want to be with you, it’s just hard for me.”

“What’s so hard?” Catra shouts. “Is it hard to like me? Is it hard being with me? Am I hard to be around?”

“No. Just give me a second to think.”

“Perfect little Adora can’t have the social reject draining her perfect status. Do you think I’m the reason everything is going wrong for you? Tell me. Is that what you think?” 

Adora pulls Catra in for a kiss so quickly Catra can’t think of any more responses. Maybe she didn’t want to fight, maybe all she wanted was this: Adora’s lips on her’s, Adora’s hands clutching the sides of her face tightly, Catra’s hands instinctively tracing Adora’s hips. This was all she needed. Catra doesn’t want to fight, she just wants to be seen. But she can’t do that right now, so she pushes away.

“You don’t get to kiss me and make everything better. That’s not how this works.”

“Catra, I’m sorry. I don’t know how to explain.”

Catra holds out a hand, telling Adora to stop. She spits out her words. “Just don’t. I need to cool off. I’ll see you later, if you decide you want me by then.”

No matter how much Adora begs, Catra leaves, not looking back.

Stepping out of the room, Catra blinks the remaining tears out and searches for her friends, finding them in the study or lounge area (Catra’s still not quite sure the floorplan of this place). She walks over, weaving through the horde of people, and wipes her tears on her shirt. Catra reflects on her performance, specifically how realistic it felt. She knows all of this was created for her to destroy, but once she actually did it, it didn’t feel as satisfying as she thought.

When Catra leans up against the wall rejoining her friends, Entrapta tilts her head.. “What’s wrong, Catra? You look upset.”

Scorpia turns around, focusing her attention on Catra. She scans her face, noticing the same things Entrapta does: red eyes, sniffly nose, fresh tear streaks on her cheeks. “What happened in there?”

Why was she so upset? It should have been easy enough to produce a few fake tears and then stop the waterfall as she left the room, but even now she’s fighting the urge to cry. She should feel successful and victorious, but all she feels is that heavy disappointment in her chest. Her mind keeps replaying the things Adora said, each one like a knife in her gut. Does she actually feel bad?

Catra had to think of something to say. “She kissed me in the middle of the argument. I didn’t expect her to do that. I already started the waterworks and it threw me off.” She sniffles again. “I’m fine.”

“That bitch,” Scorpia mutters.

“She was just trying to-” Catra stops when she realizes she’s defending Adora. She switches the topic, hopefully to distract Scorpia from what she was trying to say. “I told her that I’ll meet her after the party. I even said ‘if you still want me by then’ to give it a little extra kick. She seemed really hurt, now we’ll see if she comes crawling back or if she runs away after tonight.”

Scorpia smiles, but only a little bit. “Good job, wildcat. Now you get to relax and let karma run its course.”

Her and Entrapta clink their plastic cups together and drink. Catra glances at the door, but forces her eyes away. She grabs Entrapta's cup and takes a few sips, trying to get herself to relax. Nothing much happens for the rest of the night. Her friends force her to dance while they all hide from Sea Hawk, hoping he doesn't catch any of them and ban them...again. At some point, Catra realizes that he's distracted putting on a show with Glimmer's not-boyfriend.

Adora finds Catra once Glimmer and her talk Bow into going home. She begs Catra to talk to her, and Catra gives her another icy response then returns back to her friends.

“What did she want?” Scorpia asks.

“She wants to talk,” Catra says, almost monotone. God, she was exhausted. “I don’t want to talk to her.”

“Right, and you shouldn’t until she’s begging on her knees. Even then, take your time.”

“Jesus, Scorpia. Dial it down,” Catra mutters. She pulls out her phone to look at the time. It’s a little past midnight. “I’m gonna head out.”

“You’re not going after her, are you?”

“No,” Catra sharply says. “I’m going to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“We can walk you back,” Entrapta offers.

“No, I want to be by myself. ‘Night, guys.”

Catra walks out, finishing her drink and throwing it away. Her mind is blank walking back to her dorm. She can’t think, she can only feel that heaviness in her chest and dry, now puffy eyes. She was a mess, a real mess. Nothing about what she was feeling was made to get back at Adora. 

Once she’s back at her dorm, she doesn’t bother changing out of her clothes and crawls under the covers. She mindlessly scrolls on her phone for a few minutes when she starts to get messages from Adora. She decides to ignore them. Add salt in the wound (to who’s wound, she doesn’t know).

(12:43) Blonde Idiot: we got Bow in bed. i’m coming back. where are you? 

(12:48) Blonde Idiot: Catra?

(1:00) Blonde Idiot: are you okay?

(1:03) Blonde Idiot: i know you’re mad at me but i need to know you’re okay

(1:04) Blonde Idiot: please please just respond so i know you’re okay

(1:10) Blonde Idiot: please? I’m sorry

(1:11) Catra: I’m fine. Leave me alone

(1:11) Blonde Idiot: where are you?

(1:12) Catra: I said leave me alone

(1:13) Blonde Idiot: not until we can talk

(1:13) Catra: Drop it

(1:14) Blonde Idiot: i know you’re pissed with me and you have every right to be. i was and am an ass. but i want to talk this out. i wanna explain.

(1:16) Catra: I don’t want to hear it

(1:17) Blonde Idiot: what am i supposed to do then?

(1:18) Catra: Drop dead ig? Idrc what you do as long as you don’t bother me

(1:25) Blonde Idiot: i’m coming around tomorrow. even if i have to sit against your dorm door for hours and wait for you, i’ll be there. i wanna fix this

Catra doesn’t have the energy to respond. She flips her phone over, plugs it in to charge, and plans on being anywhere but her dorm tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Catra purposefully stayed away from her dorm all day for two reasons. One, she guessed Adora would stop by at some point and thought it would be funny if she wasn’t there. She even put her phone on “do not disturb” all day to make it worse. Two, it was parent’s day, and Catra knew her mother would stop on by. She only remembered that second part halfway through the day, and thought it would be especially funny having Adora trying to explain to Sheila why she was there. 

As she heads back to her dorm around five in the afternoon, she notices that it is littered with trash. Scoffing, starting to believe that Adora trashed her door, she picks it up and looks inside. She pictured all the classic cliche things that could be in there: any of her stuff, rotten food, actual trash. But to her disbelief, it wasn’t anything bad. In the bag was a blueberry cake from Scorpia’s bakery and flowers (that desperately needed water). She clutches the items and opens the door, hoping her roommate knew what happened.

Catra made it in and threw her purse on her bed before her roommate (finally back for once) spun around from her gaming system, wide-eyed and panicked, shouting at her.

“Where have you been?” Mermista asks, standing up. “Why did you have your phone off all day?”

Catra shakes her head in confusion. “Woah, Mista. What’s going on?”

“Every possible bad thing that could happen…happened!”

Catra holds back a sarcastic remark. If only Mermista knew about Catra’s worst case scenarios. Mermista begins to pace. All of this is very unlike her. Mermista is usually uninvolved, cool, and laid back. Too many people think she doesn’t care about anything, and they’re right. She comes off as a stoner because her aura radiates that she loves weed, but none of her rumors are true. Mermista has been down to earth since birth, and knowing this makes Catra start to panic at Mermista’s current demeanor. 

“First of all, your mom was here. How’d she get past the gates? I don't know,” Mermista starts.

Catra cringes. “Yeah, I forgot about parent’s day. I didn’t mean to stick her on you-”

“No, that’s not it.” Mermista stammers out. “Your little girlfriend got here like half an hour after you left.”

“Adora was here?” Catra remembers the items she’s holding. She lifts them up for Mermista to look at. “Did she bring these?”

“Yes, but don’t eat the cake. I’m pretty sure it’s gone bad by now.”

Catra throws it in the trash, but places the flowers on their study desk. “Okay. I’m sorry you had to talk to her too, but what’s the big deal-”

“ The big deal is ,” Mermista interrupts, “that Adora set up camp outside this door and didn’t leave for hours. I insisted that she come inside, but she refused. She said she had a promise to fulfill or something like that. She stayed out there, she didn’t leave once. Not to pee, not to get food, or nothing. She waited out, determined that you were going to come back soon. And then your mom showed up. Lovely lady I might add.” Catra nods in agreement to the sarcastic comment. “I heard them talking outside for a while. They were getting loud and I was getting annoyed. I could hear them over my headphones. When I went to go off and tell them to take their little date down to Panera, I opened the door and Adora clocked your mom in the face.”

Catra’s jaw falls to the floor. “Adora did what?”

“I don’t know what this lady said, but Adora just went off. Starting punching her, pushing her. It wasn’t too violent of a fight, but Adora hit your mom hard enough that she’ll have a gnarly bruise. And campus security just happened to be doing rounds at that time and took her away. I asked one of the officers what they were going to do with Adora, and they’re talking about expelling her.”

Catra gasps. “No, no. They can’t. Sheila is a nasty prick. She probably deserved being punched.”

“They took her to the campus security building. She’s there now, and has been for hours.”

“Why didn’t you text me this!”

“Because you had your phone on do not disturb! I practically spammed you with texts.”

“Oh my god,” Catra spirals. “ Oh god .” Her head spins. First, at the fact that Adora really sat at her door all day, like she said she would last night. And two, Adora assaulted Sheila, and how imaging Adora doing that turns Catra on a little bit. She shakes the thought from her hand. “I’ve gotta go after her.”

“Duh!” She pushes Catra towards the door. “Go, go, go! Your girlfriend is waiting for you!”

Catra grabs her purse and runs out of the room, not even bothering correcting or thanking Mermista. She runs down the hall, the stairs, and the streets to the security building. She stops at the entrance to catch her breath, wishing that she didn’t quit cheer so soon in high school. Once her heart rate returns to a semi-normal rate, she composes herself and walks in.

The office is smaller than she expected but looks exactly how she imagined. The walls are a grayish-beige and the floor is polished, shiny cement. Her boots echo around the silent room every time she takes a step. As she gets closer, the receptionist pokes her head up as if she’s trained to whenever she hears footsteps. She couldn’t have been more than fifty, but she wears clothes Catra thinks are from Forever 21. Catra anxiously approaches and speaks to the worker.

“I’m here for, my friend. Adora Greyskull. Is she still here?” Catra asks, unsure of what to say. Hi, my friend-with-benefits punched my homophobic mother and campus security took her away. Have you seen a blonde girl with beautiful blue eyes and an apparent thirst for violence anywhere here?

The receptionist clicks her tongue, her eyes hinting at a secret. “Oh, you’re the girl.”

Catra’s face filter falls, and a nasty yet curious scowl appears on her face. “The what?”

“The girl,” the receptionist draws out. She shimmies her shoulders slightly. “The one who started all this.”

“That’s not a good thing. Where’s my friend? Did she really get expelled?”

She waves hand as she stands up, gesturing for Catra to follow. Catra does, scrambling to get her feet underneath her. They walk down a small hallway, reminding Catra of the tight hallways in highschool. “No. Not yet at least. Though, your mother does want her thrown out as soon as possible. She’s still demanding to the dean that the poor girl is to be arrested.”

“My mother is still here?”

They stop at the Head of Security’s office. “See for yourself.” The lady knocks on the door four times and opens it. The dean and Adora both look towards the two of them entering, but Sheila doesn’t miss a beat with her argument. Catra laughs for half a second as she sees Sheila screaming at the woman while holding a makeshift ice pack to her face (a frozen wet paper towel and a plastic bag like in elementary school).

“-that this girl is a threat to her classmates, professors, and more importantly, my daughter,” Sheila screams, concluding her argument. Catra refrains from rolling her eyes.

Adora smiles as she sees Catra, and Catra does the same, running over to Adora and tightly hugging her. The receptionist grins as she closes the door.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Catra whispers. Adora holds her more tightly in response.

“Catra,” Dean Angella says, rubbing the sides of her temple. Catra stands up, pulling away from Adora. “I’m glad you can be here. Before we make any decisions about Ms. Greyskull’s fate, each member wants you to testify for them.” Angella makes the thing sound so formal. She sets her arms on the table and interlocks her fingers. “Are you ready to describe your relationship to both parties?”

“Yes?” she responds, and she knows what she’ll plead. She’ll tell the dean the truth about her mother and save Adora’s pretty ass. Angella shoos the two of them out. Sheila and Adora both look unhappy and file out of the room. Catra watches them through the window as they stand on opposite sides of the hallway.

“What happened?” Catra asks. “I got a brief overview from my roommate, but I’d prefer a whole explanation.”

“Piecing together what they both said, and I’m trying to be as impartial as I can be, I believe something was said between the two of them that caused the incident. Something about you, in particular. I don’t know who said what, but Ms. Greyskull threw the first punch.”

“Did Sheila hit Adora?”

“It was all self-defense, according to what the security officers saw as well. The only way that this can end well for Ms. Greyskull is if you can think of anything your mother might say in order to get a rise from your friend. In every other scenario, Ms. Greyskull is going to be expelled. There will be consequences no matter what.” 

Catra knows exactly what was going on. The guilt in Adora’s eyes, the light in her mother’s. Sheila had said something bad about Catra, something in the homophobic realm she’s assuming. She pieces it together, how long Adora was there, when Sheila arrived, and when Mermista heard the yelling out of the room. Catra is sure that Sheila was being her monstrous self again.

But a doubt creeps up on her. What if Adora wasn’t there to apologize? What if she brought the cake just to shove it in Catra’s face? Maybe she punched Sheila because she was so angry with Catra and decided to take it out on the next closest related person? But would she do that? After knowing Adora for so long, Catra knows she can be rash and act stupid. However, Catra never saw an ounce of hate in her. She may have the strength and brute of a bull-fighter, but she also has the heart of a golden retriever.

“Sheila,” Catra starts. “She can say really stupid things, and has said bad things to me in the past. She wasn’t the most accepting person when I came out to her and has made it her mission to make me understand she doesn’t like who and what I am. Adora and I had a fight last night, I stopped talking to her and she promised that she would make it up to me. Adora was waiting at my dorm when Sheila arrived. I’m guessing from what I know about both people and what my roommate told me, Sheila must have said something homophobic about me, or us, and Adora lashed out.”

Angella nods her head. “Hate is not tolerated anywhere on campus, but neither is violence.”

“Please, Adora was defending me. She was trying to be a hero. And let me tell you, my mother is quite the villain. Don’t expel Adora. She doesn’t deserve that.”

Angella sighs. “Well, lucky for Adora, your story and her’s match up relatively well. Your mother’s story seems like the outlier in this scenario. I cannot promise that your mother won’t press charges, but on campus, Adora will not be expelled.”

Catra sighs, relieved.

“She will be suspended instead.”

Catra’s momentary bliss disappears. “What? But finals are next week. You can’t suspend her now. The semester is almost over.”

“Your mother’s injuries are not to be overlooked. Ms. Greyskull assaulted her almost to the point of needing stitches. Like I said, this campus has no tolerance for violence. Ms. Greyskull is only getting off with this punishment because she was defending herself from a hate crime. Be that as it may, she needs to learn that violence is not the answer to hate.”

“She doesn’t have a violent history!” Catra pauses. “Does she?”

“Not in any of our records. But from my years of observation, this is only the start of crazy things love will make you do. I don’t want Ms. Greyskull to end up back here after a barista makes your drink wrong.”

Catra doesn’t speak, knowing Dean Angella is right, and acknowledging that this is all Catra’s fault. If she hadn’t been such an ass or remembered about today, Adora and her may have been spending the night with each other. Catra might have confessed tonight. Adora might have as well, but who knows now?

“I suspect you two have much to talk about?” Angella asks, snapping Catra from her thoughts.

Catra nods.

“I’ll send Ms. Greyskull back in and have security and myself deal with your mother. I’ll try to talk her out of anything extreme.” Angella smiles.

Catra stops her before she exits. “Why are you being so nice to us?”

Angella gently closes the door so only her and Catra hear what’s about to be said. “I’ve dealt with a lot of parents since I started my career. Some are great and understanding, some are more vile and vicious. But Sheila Weaver.” Angella shakes her head. “She is a whole new type of crazy. And I’ve found that the students with the most angry parents often need some extra kindness in their lives. That goes to their significant others, too.”

Catra smiles and thanks her. As Angella leaves, Catra pulls out her phone, texting her Super Pal Trio group chat and briefly updating them on everything. The last thing she texts is the most important: “I’m not going through with it. I’m done messing with her.” She sends it as Adora comes back in. She sits on the couch next to Catra and hugs her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.

“You don’t get to say that. This is my fault,” Catra says, a few tears spilling on Adora’s jacket. They separate. “Did the Dean tell you?”

“That I’m suspended? Yeah, she told me.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such an asshole last night. If we didn’t fight, then you wouldn’t be in this situation. You would finish the semester and keep on with your life. God, what are you going to do now?”

Adora sighs. “It’s only for this semester,” she tries to reassure. “I’ll just graduate a little later, or take everything over summer. I had already thrown away my high school scholarships, so I’ve got little to lose academically speaking. And look at the brightside, I get to come to your shows more often.”

Catra smiles, but it fades quickly. “What did Sheila say to you?”

Adora frowns. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. It got you into this mess. And I think I deserve to know why you hit her.”

Adora pauses, debating whether to tell Catra or not, but gives in. “She saw me waiting at your door and asked me what I was doing there. I told her that we had a fight and I was trying to make things right. She just laughed at me and said that our generation had such good girl-friends. Friends who are girls. I stupidly told her that we weren’t just friends, and she flipped out. Started saying that you’re not a lesbian and that you’re just going through a phase, and that she couldn’t believe you still kept up that lie you told yourself. She said a girl like me needs to find a good husband. I told her that I didn’t want a husband, I wanted you. She scoffed so loud I swear the entire complex heard it. That’s when security started taking notice. She-she said that it’s little, you knows, like us that are ruining the world. Being gay is a sin, we’re going to hell, the typical stuff. But then, god I don’t know if I can say it.” Adora takes a breath, a tear falling out of her eye. “She said that she wished she never had you. If she knew that her child would be gay when they grew up, that she would disown it. And that she wished she did. I lost my cool, and started hitting her, because no one gets to talk about you like that. No one can say that about their child.”

Adora grabs Catra’s hand as she cries more. Catra's eyes become watery, too, only because of how upset Adora is. Everything Adora told her doesn’t shock Catra at all and quite frankly, she’s unfazed by it any more.

“I just don’t understand how someone could say that.”

What does surprise Catra is seeing how much Adora cares.

“I’ll listen,” Catra says in a whisper.

This stops Adora from momentarily crying. “What?”

“Last night, I said I’d never listen to what you had to say. But, I wanna listen now.”

Adora nods, sniffling, and adjusts herself to face Catra better. “If I’m being completely open, I’m lost and confused. Everything has changed since I met you, in the best way possible. In all this chaos in my mind, you’re always the center point.”

Catra pauses. “That didn’t make me feel better.”

“I mean.” Adora presses her hands against her face “I mean that with everything being so chaotic in my life, you’re the thing that gives me peace. Happiness. Something that calms the storm. I didn’t know I could be so happy with a person.”

“That’s better,” Catra says, finally looking up and giving a small smile.

“I’m sorry, if I didn’t make that clear. This is all very new to me. I don’t know how to be a girlfriend. I don’t know shit.” Adora reaches out and interlocks their fingers. “I wanna be with you, it’s just scary not knowing what people will think of me after they find out. I built up a reputation for myself. Straight A student, scholarship jock. I was perfect.”

“And now you’re not?” Catra asks.

Adora pulls her hands away, slumping down with her elbows on her knees and palms on her face. “Now, I’m a suspended student who may be possibly facing criminal charges in the future because of a word I would have said a few years ago. I’m not an athlete anymore and I like girls. Everything is so different.” She sighs, leaning back on the couch. “My whole life was planned out. I’d go to college and study up and eventually find a husband. Then after that, get engaged, work for as long as I can, and then have kids. That was the plan. That is what I’ve based all of my decisions off of. I was already creating my future as a teenager.

“I knew something was wrong with me. Well, I know it’s not wrong now, but at the time I felt like something was rotten inside me. I convinced myself that not dating and not wanting too was better in the long run. But I always kinda knew that there was another reason, I just wasn’t ready to admit it. What I guess I’m trying to say is that I’m not scared of what the world will think of you and I, just what they’ll think of me. I’m kinda wrecking my whole life plan right now because of one stupid thing I overlooked.” Adora leans back and slides her hands over her eyes, deeply breathing to stop the tears. “I was always told growing up ‘it takes a lifetime to build up a reputation and a second to destroy it.’ Am I going to destroy everything by coming out? I can’t make any more mistakes. Will people still want me after? Are my friends going to ditch me? What will everyone say? What if I hurt you again in the process?” 

Catra frowns, reminiscing on her own troubles coming out as a kid. “You remember that movie we watched on one of our first dates?”

“The cheerleader one?” she asks through her hands.

“Yes. But I’m a Cheerleader. Her life was uprooted, too. But look, she was really happy in the end. Yeah, it was hard for her to accept what she really was and realize the people around her would never understand her, but that sacrifice led to a better life. She’s happier now, and so will you. Plus, she gets to date a hot masc. You guys are practically the same person. So you get a happy ending too.”

Adora sits up, sniffling and chuckling at the same time. “You are not masc.”

“Um, excuse you. I’m literally wearing a flannel and ripped jeans right now. I’m like the definition of masc,” Catra sarcastically argues, opening her arms to emphasize her outfit. Adora laughs more and leans her head on Catra’s shoulder.

Adora starts slowly. She takes a deep breath, gaining her bravery. “I want to be more than just a hookup buddy.”

“I want that, too. But you can’t hide me, anymore.”

 “You deserve to be shown off to the world. You shouldn’t be hidden.”

“Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” Adora breathes out. “More than anything. I’m just scared.”

“I know. And it is scary. You’re right, you don’t know how people will react.” Catra gnaws on the corner of her lip. “Did I ever tell you about when I came out to my mom?”

Adora shakes her head.

“I knew since fifth grade that I was lesbian and hid it from her for a long time. She was never exactly supportive, but she never seemed homophobic either. Well, in eighth grade, I finally got the courage to come out to her, and she locked me out of the house for the night.” Catra sighs. “She wouldn’t let me come back in until I admitted that I was wrong or was just joking. I swear I banged on the door and screamed for hours, and I know she just sat on the other side waiting for me to confess. I ended up spending a night or two at my friend’s house just so I wouldn’t freeze, but I had to go back eventually. After I went back home, she spent months saying things like ‘your hair makes you look like a lesbian,’ ‘only a’–well, I’m not gonna say the word she used–‘would wear that,’ and stuff like that. She belittled me, trying to get me to think that being gay was wrong. I dropped it for a while, just keeping the thought to myself. Right before ninth grade I came out again, testing the waters, and she screamed at me. Just yelling about how I was going to Hell and all that homophobic shit. From then on, I knew this wasn’t something I wanted to hide. I wasn’t going to hide a significant part of myself just because someone didn’t like it. If I had to wear it on my face, then so be it. But everyone was going to know about me. Mainly to prove to myself that there was nothing wrong with me, but to also spite my mother just a bit. Moral of the story, it does hurt when someone says something homophobic to me, but I have to brush it off. If I let it get to me, then I’d have to hide, and I’m never doing that again.” Catra grabs one of Adora’s hands. “Don’t stop being yourself because you’re afraid of what people might think. Some people will leave your life, but the right people will stay. And those are the people you want around.” 

Adora brings their hands up, kissing the back of Catra’s. Catra fights a smile and lowers both of their arms, not separating. She takes her thumb and rubs it on the back of Adora’s hand.

“It doesn’t have to be now, but maybe you can start by talking to your friends about us. I wish I had talked to my friends first before coming out to my mom. I’m sure your mushy-gushy ‘friendship squad’ will be happy to support you. And after watching last night’s fiasco, I’m pretty sure Arrows is a little gay.”

Adora nods. “Okay. I’ll talk to them tomorrow. I’m sure I can figure something out before then. They’re my friends, after all.” She pauses, creasing her forehead. “Really, Bow?”

“I swear I saw little hearts in his eyes when he looked at Sea Hawk. I thought he was gonna pass out dancing on the table.”

Adora tilts her head. “He did say Sea Hawk was hot. I just thought it was the alcohol talking.”

"That's how it always starts." Catra shortly laughs then takes Adora by the arm. "Come on. Let's get you home."

Adora stands up and snakes their hands together for the first time in public. They both leave the building and head back to Adora's dorm.

Catra took Adora back to her dorm, helped her wash-up (with a little kissing on the side), and tucked her into bed before she headed back to her dorm. She texted Mermista that everything was going to be okay, kinda, and that she’ll tell her the full story once she’s back in their room. Catra’s mind was silent for most of the walk back, thinking of one thing on repeat. She didn’t check her phone once despite the numerous texts coming from her Super Pal Trio group chat. She shakily walked up the stairs to her dorm level and unlocked the door. Mermista was anxiously waiting for her.

Catra walks in, ignoring her roommates questions, falls onto her bed, and screams into her pillow.

“I take it things didn’t go well?” Mermista asks, sitting herself across from Catra’s bed.

After a few more screams, Catra sits herself up and places her pillow in her lap. “No, actually. It went well. Really, really well.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.”

Catra shoves the pillow against her face and screams again. Mermista groans, throwing a stuffed animal at Catra to break her out of her spiral.

“Just tell me what happened!”

Catra composes herself and gives the full recap: Sheila’s an asshole (nothing new), Adora isn’t an asshole (somewhat shocking), and Catra’s an idiot (not shocking at all). Catra’s stomach drops and flips as she debates telling the whole truth. If she doesn’t, she’s going to explode. She can’t tell Scorpia or Entrpata, they’ll kill her. Mermista is the only option.

“Are you okay?” Mermista asks. “It looks like you’re gonna throw up.”

“I love her!” Catra falls onto her back. “I love her, I love her, I love her! I’m a horrible person. I love her! And I can only hope she loves me back.”

“Wait. You’re a horrible person because you love her?”

“No. Two separate statements. I’m a horrible person and I love her.” Catra whines. “I am so doomed.”

“What’s so bad about it? Isn’t this what most people want?”

“But I’ve fucked everything up! It’s all shit right now, all because I’m a shitty person.”

“Okay, you’re laying the self-deprecation on a little thick. Tell me what’s going on.”

Catra gives her a brief summary of her and her friend’s plan to get revenge. How Catra found her on the dating app, they went on one-sided fake dates, and everything leading up until she realized that she doesn’t hate Adora. How (now) she realized that thinking about Adora and what to do on their next dates wasn’t her planning revenge, it was her planning for true, lovey-dovey romance.

“Oh, that’s bad,” Mermista admits. “You’re down bad.”

“Yep. I’ve got a lot of backtracking to do.”

“What have your friends said about this?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t read their texts. They’re probably not going to be excited about my revelation, but they’re gonna have to deal with it.”

“Does Adora know?”

“You’re the first person I’ve confessed to.”

“Are you going to confess to Adora soon?”

“How can I? Should I even try to after everything I’ve done? Like, should I let her go, save her from myself? The whole ‘if you love them, let them go’ type deal.”

“That’s depressing. And no, you can’t decide for Adora. She has to decide for herself. Just sit down and talk to her. Tell her everything you told me and admit that you were wrong and that you want to be a better person.”

“She won’t believe me.”

Mermista shrugs. “It’s better than building a relationship on a lie.”

“When did you become so wise?”

“I play a lot of RPGs. Now go to sleep, loser.”

Catra sticks her tongue out and lays down. She doesn’t even bother changing her clothes. Once she’s down, exhaustion hits her and she falls right to sleep.

Chapter Text

Catra didn’t hesitate to meet with Adora in the morning. The housing staff gave her two days to move out. Thankfully for Adora, she didn’t have much, but it was still going to be a multiple person job. When she called Catra early in the morning, Catra happily picked up and said yes to whatever Adora wanted. Mainly because of guilt, but still.

As Adora opened the door, Catra swooped Adora off her feet, twirled her in the air like they were in a rom com, put her down, and then pulled her into a soft kiss. Adora graciously kissed her back, only to push away when her phone started to buzz. Adora groans, pulling the phone out of her pocket and silencing the call.

“I’ve been getting spam calls all morning. I must have clicked on a bad link or something. Anyways.” Adora clicks her phone off and puts it on her desk. She places a kiss on Catra’s cheek. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Catra walks in looking at everything in the dorm. Adora made a mess of everything. Trash bags and clothes are on the floor, her pens and pencils are spilled all over her desk, and her plastic bins are spread out all over her two beds. She did manage to strip both of them, so points to her. Catra flops onto a bed and sits in between two bins.

“Adora, it looks like a bomb went off in here.” Catra admits.

Adora sighs defeatedly, picking up random clothes and shoving them into a bin. “I know.”

“This is the opposite of what we want right now. I think we’re gonna need backup if you need to be out in less than forty-eight hours.”

“You think Bow and Glimmer would help?”

“I’m surprised they’re not here singing happy songs as they help clean up.”

Adora pauses. “I haven’t told them.”

Catra raises her eyebrows. “Sparkles and Arrows don’t know? Dean Angella hasn’t told her own daughter yet?”

Adora shrugs. “I don’t know if that’s true, but I haven’t told them anything.”

“Adora, they’re gonna find out sooner or later. I think they’d rather hear the news from you.”

“I know, I know. I’ve just been trying to figure out how to tell them everything.” She moves one bin off the bed to sit with Catra. “How do I have a conversation like this with them?”

“‘Everything?’ Like…” Catra trails off, waiting for Adora to explain.

“I’m ready to come out to them. And more importantly, I’m ready to tell them about us.” Adora grabs Catra’s hand. “You deserve to be seen.”

Catra smiles softly. “Only if you’re ready. I’m not trying to rush you.”

“You’re not, I promise. I’m ready. They deserve to know. I’ve been super MIA with them recently so I think they’d appreciate a life update.”

Catra nods. “I’m sure they would. And I think the sooner the better so we can get you packed up and out of here.”

Adora agrees. She stands up and walks to her phone. Catra hears her mutter something about more spam messages. Catra gives a mental note to do a virus check on Adora’s phone after all of this. While Adora messages her friends, Catra folds spare clothes and puts them into what she thinks is one clothes bin. She hopes so.

It takes Glimmer and Bow less than half an hour to get to Adora’s dorm. Glimmer doesn’t knock or anything. She barges through the door (at an unfortunate time, too, as Catra and Adora were making out a little). Bow trails in behind her. Adora and Catra separate mid kiss, awkwardly schooching away.

“Suspended?” she shouts. “You got suspended within the last two weeks of the semester?”

“And cue Sparkles,” Catra mutters, moving out of the way.

Glimmer strides straight to Adora and places her hands on her shoulders, shaking her like Adora has lost her mind. “What happened?”

Adora brushes Glimmer’s arms away. “Okay first, yes, I’m okay and safe. Thank you for asking. And second, I don’t wanna talk about it yet.”

Glimmer’s eyebrows furrow as Adora turns around and walks to her sheetless bed. “You ‘don’t wanna talk about it?’ Adora, finals are next week and you’re suspended. You’ve lost a whole semester of your life. What was important enough to throw all that time and money away?”

Catra’s heart aches, that guilt filling her stomach and chest again. Not what, she thinks. Who.

“Glimmer,” Bow starts, trying to calm the storm. “Why don’t we let Adora explain everything from her perspective and then maybe it will explain why she went crazy?”

“Not you too, Bow,” Adora pouts.

He shrugs. “Glimmer gets to play the mom card, I get to play the dad card sometimes.”

Adora plops on her bed. “I don’t want to talk about it yet. There’s something I’ve got to say first, and then all of this will make more sense.”

Glimmer and Bow nod, and sit across from Adora. Catra stays standing, until Adora looks to her. Her eyes are pleading, begging Catra to come sit next to her. Catra hesitantly takes a step forward, pausing to wait for Adora’s reaction. She nods, and Catra notices the anxiety behind her eyes. Catra sits down and Adora relaxes a bit, her knee falls against Catra’s. Glimmer and Bow eye each other, a small smile creeping on Bow’s face.

Adora takes a deep breath before confessing. “There’s been a lot going on that I haven’t told you guys. I didn’t know how to talk about it because I didn’t really understand it at first, but now I do.” She glances at Catra, and Catra gives a reassuring smile. “I’m a lesbian, like fully one-hundred percent gay. I think. I don’t know. I don’t have it all figured out but I don’t have to right now.The realization hit me at the end of last semester and I spent all of summer spiraling over it until I gave into the feeling. I think I’ve kinda always known, but I started to accept it more recently. I’m sorry for being so distant the past couple of months. I just didn’t know how to talk to you guys about this, or anyone about it. This was tough for me to digest, but I’m really happy.” Adora glances at Catra, bumping her shoulder against Catra. “Like, really happy. You guys are my best friends and I know you’ll support me no matter what. I feel silly not telling you sooner.”

Bow, being the therapist friend he is, speaks first. “Thank you for telling us, Adora. I’m really happy for you. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t tell me something.”

Silence fills the room as everyone waits for Glimmer to say something. She glances between Catra and Adora. Bow nudges her, trying to get a response. “Have you been hanging out with Catra because she’s a lesbian, too?” Glimmer asks, interrupting the moment. Bow’s face turns into a small frown.

Catra laughs. “No, Sparkles. She hangs out with me because of this.” Catra kisses Adora, both hands on the girl’s face to pull her in. Adora jerks for a second because of the brashness but instantly melts in, her hands tracing Catra’s. Glimmer’s jaw falls open. Bow cheers them on. Catra pulls away, snaking her hands into Adora’s. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you in front of people.”

“You guys are so cute,” Bow says, smiling proudly.

“I understand now. I’m so happy for you guys!” Glimmer furrows her brow then gasps. “So it was a hickey!”

Adora and Catra snap their heads towards each other and burst out laughing. Bow and Glimmer start cackling, too. Catra falls into Adora’s lap in their laughing fit and once she pulls herself together, she finds Adora lovingly staring at her. Adora kisses the top of her forehead. Catra grabs Adora’s arm and plants as many kisses as she can on the girl’s skin, free to express her love. No more hiding.

The group’s laughs die down when they hear a swooshing sound come from the door. They all turn their heads to it, and Adora cautiously walks over to pick up the paper that was slid under the crack. Next to Catra, Adora’s phone buzzes more. Whatever spammer that’s messaging her isn’t letting up. 

“More spam calls?” Catra clicks the phone off to stop the vibrations. As she does, Adora gasps. Catra stands up and briskly walks over to Adora, Bow and Glimmer standing up as well.

“What is it?” Catra asks.

Adora hands the poster to Catra, and Catra’s stomach drops. It’s a picture of the two of them up on their rooftop one night. No, from a few nights ago. How does she know? It was the night they decided to get a little frisky. It was too cold to be exposed (thank goodness), but that didn’t stop them much. The photo is taken from a far away angle so that Adora is the star, her face and slightly messy hair on display while only the back of Catra’s body is exposed and her hand on Adora’s thigh. There was no doubt of what they were doing. As Catra looks closer, she sees that everything around Adora is blurred out slightly, targeting Adora deliberately. Making things worse, there’s cliche sapphic stickers all around the photo. The lesbian flag, same sex logo, and a big lipstick kiss with “girl-kisser” embedded on the lips all prominent. The nail in the coffin, though, is Adora’s phone number plastered at the bottom ask girls to call her for a good time.

“Oh my god,” Catra whispers. Glimmer and Bow peer over her shoulder and mutter the same thing.

Adora’s phone buzzes again and she frustratedly runs over to pick it up. She creases her brow as she reads the text message aloud. “‘Go outside?’”

The group looks at each other then all dart out the door. They run down the halls and stairs and are greeted with a group of people crowded around the community board. The board is covered entirely by the posters. Dozens of them placed neatly in rows over and over for everyone to see. Glimmer and Catra run over, pushing people out of the way, and start ripping the paper down.

“People think this is funny,” Glimmer mutters angrily. “Who would do something like this?”

Catra mulls over the same thing. Who would? As Catra pulls the paper down, it hits her. 

Who gave her the idea of using the rooftop?

Who gave her access to the building?

Who was helping Catra with her evil plan?

Who hates Adora as much as Catra used to?

The person who works in the lab across the way, but Catra knows this was a two person plan. Her two best friends didn’t respect her wishes and took pictures without either girl’s knowledge.

“Those texts and calls were real then?” Catra hears Adora quietly say to Bow behind them. The crowd shifts to look at Adora, realizing they’ve met the star of their gossip. Fear and anger build in Catra’s gut, and she lashes out.

“You people think this is funny? What if it was you up here? Would you be entertained then?” Catra shouts. “These are actual people who just got exposed. This isn’t a funny little prank.”

“Catra wait,” Adora says, holding out a hand. “Fine, I’m a lesbian. Does it matter, though? Do any of you care? No one is affected by this. I’ve been so scared of letting people know who I am, but it doesn’t matter. We’ll forget this in a week.” As Adora monologues (and Catra listens with admiration), she looks around the crowd. All have blank faces. They really didn’t give a shit. Adora’s right, no one would remember. She glances around more and freezes. Entrapta and Scorpia are standing at the edge of the crowd far away from Catra, disappointed looks on their faces. Scorpia points to the left down one of the streets. Catra furrows her brow and follows Scorpia’s directions, eyes widening again. “I’m sick of hiding and sick of pretending. This is who I am. And I’m not going to be damaged by a couple of posters.” Adora points to the board. 

Catra takes a step and places a hand on Adora’s shoulder. “Adora, look.” She points out to the hundreds of posters stuck to every tree, pillar, bench, and wall down the street. Adora’s jaw drops. Glimmer and Bow come up behind her, also dropping their jaws in shock.

“We’ll take them all down,” Bow reassures.

“I’ll call my mom. She’ll do something,” Glimmer says.

“She can’t do anything until we know who did this,” Adora says, her voice breathy.

Catra glues her mouth shut, glancing at Scorpia and Entrapta. Scorpia drops her head to her phone, types something, then looks back to Catra with an accomplished smile. Adora’s phone vibrates and she pulls it from her pocket. She opens her phone and reads the message, her face going blank. Glimmer looks at the text, too, but her face turns into a scowl.

“‘Don’t believe everything she says to you. Catra was the one who planned this,’” Adora reads, slowly, quietly, like she can’t process it. “You did this?”

Catra’s whole body freezes. “Adora, no. I would never do that to you.” She means it. Despite all her planning and desire for revenge, she never actually wanted to hurt Adora. She just wanted to feel better. She wanted to feel like she got what she deserved. And Adora helped her fill that hole (that Adora inevitably created, but still). 

Adora stutters and stammers out nonsense, and Catra doesn’t know what to say to prove her innocence. She can’t say that she never wanted this, that this wasn’t her ideal plan of revenge. But she didn’t know what she wanted in the beginning. Can she say that she begged her friends not to continue with the plan? But that would mean the truth came out when she couldn’t explain it in the way she planned. She thinks back to what Mermista said, that the truth is better than living with a lie, but she doesn’t know if right now infront of all these people is the best time for the truth.

Catra doesn’t have time to make an argument. More texts flood Adora’s phone, and now both Glimmer and Adora's faces turn into scowls. “You said what about me?”

“Adora, what are you talking about?”

“‘I’m interested in ruining her life?’ And, ‘I wanna get her back for what she did to us?’ What did I ever do to you? Oh my god, ‘We’re going up to the roof tonight. Wish me luck.’” Adora pauses, putting everything together “You really did this, didn’t you?”

“Adora please, I didn’t do this.”

“Yes you did! I have proof that you wanted to hurt me.” Adora flips her phone around to show Catra the messages from the Super Pal Trio groupchat.  “All of it is right here. This is just a few messages, this probably isn’t even the whole thing, is it? How long have you been planning this? What else have you said about me?”

“Stop, give me your phone,” Catra says, reaching out. She doesn’t know how having Adora’s phone would help her, but maybe if she could show Adora her texts then it would clear things up.

Adora steps backwards, Glimmer steps forward. “Stay away from her.”

“You never really liked me, did you? This was all a game. None of this was real.”

“No, that’s not-”

“When did you start planning this?”

“I didn’t plan this-”

“Stop with the lies! Tell me the truth, when did you start messing with me?”

Catra pauses, caught in her lie. “From the beginning. I never thought we’d get this far. I didn’t plan on hurting you. But I changed. You changed me, Adora. I can explain everything.”

“The whole time?” Bow asks quietly. “You lied the whole time.”

Adora’s face falls, the betrayal hitting her like a truck. Catra stomach churns. “I want you to go. I never want to see you again.”

“Please, listen, Adora. This wasn’t me. I never wanted to hurt you-”

“I don’t care,” Adora says monotonously. “You put these pictures up, you used me. Go.”

Catra opens her mouth to argue, but closes it quickly. There’s no way for her to get out of this, not in this situation.

“Did you hear her? Go, scum!” Glimmer shouts.

Tears well in Catra’s eyes. “I didn’t do this, but I’m sorry.”

Catra walks away, all eyes on her once again. 

Adora didn’t have to beg Glimmer and Bow to stay with her that night. They all willingly slept in Glimmer’s spare bedroom (aka Adora’s summer home) with all her stuff in her clear bins, Glimmer and Bow sharing a blowup mattress while Adora curled herself up in a little ball and cried. When Adora woke up, it felt like she was in the worst hangover in her life. Her body ached so deep that her bones hurt. Her face was dry, lips starting to chap. Her eyes felt like they were going to be swollen shut from how much she cried yesterday.

Adora sits herself up in the bed, slowly adjusting to the morning light. She slides off the bed as quietly as she could to not wake up the lovebirds cuddling on the mattress. She waddles out the door and down the stairs to the kitchen hoping there’s a sports drink or something with electrolytes in the fridge. To her luck, there is and Adora practically chugs it in one swig. She gags once it’s finished and tosses it in the recycling.

Footsteps come from the stairs, and Glimmer sluggishly walks in. Adora turns away, pretending to be busy with something.

“How are you doing?” Glimmer asks, fighting back a yawn.

Adora sighs. No point in lying, right. “Really shitty, Glim.”

Glimmer solemnly frowns. She walks over to Adora and stands in front of her, forcing her to make eye contact. She places a hand on Adora’s shoulder, and Adora immediately breaks down. No hesitation or fighting back the tears. It’s like a dam broke. Glimmer pulls her into a tight hug and strokes her back as she sobs.

“Why’d she do it?” Adora asks.

“Because she’s an awful person.”

“Why me?”

“I don’t know.”

Bow walks in sleepy eyed, too, but sobers up once he sees his friend’s distress. He goes over and hugs Adora, but that doesn’t stop her from sobbing. He reminds her to breathe and she shakily does. It takes a few minutes like that, slowly breathing and compressing hugs, but Adora eventually calms down a bit and wiggles out of their grasps.

“Can we talk?” Glimmer asks. “We just want to know what happened.”

Adora nods. “Let’s do it back upstairs. I wanna be in my bed when I crashout.”

“I’ll grab water and snacks,” Bow says.

The girls head back up the stairs with Bow following behind them. Adora climbs back into her bed, wrapping herself in her blanket. Glimmer and Bow scooch next to her, placing all the food and water bottles in front of them. Adora sighs and lets herself fall into Bow. He rubs her arm in support.

“Are you ready to talk about it?” Bow asks.

“Honestly, I don’t really know where to start.”

“Start with what hurts the least,” Glimmer advises.

“It all hurts,” Adora admits.

“We don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to. You can go back to sleep and we can talk later.”

“No. I’m not going to feel better in a few hours. Might as well rip off the bandaid.” Adora takes a deep breath and straightens herself up. “What do you wanna know?”

They go through the basic questions. How did you meet Catra? When did you guys start dating? Why didn’t she tell them? What happened between her and Catra that caused all this drama? Adora answers honestly and admits that she doesn’t know some of the answers.

“Adora, why did you feel like you had to keep your relationship a secret from us?” Glimmer asks. “You know that we would support you.”

“You guys don’t get it.” Adora shifts into Bow’s lap. “Coming out changes people’s entire perspective of you. I was scared of losing you guys. Catra told me the story of how her mother basically abandoned her all because she was gay. Well, I don’t know if anything she told me was true, but there are so many people out there who have had experiences like that before. There’s no telling how people would react because of it. I didn’t want to lose people because of one part of myself. I wanted to make sure that this was one hundred percent real, that I wasn’t faking it, before I mentioned it.

“I don’t know. Realizing I’m a lesbian changed my whole life plan. There was suddenly no future husband I had imagined I’d marry one day. Being a parent would be different. It felt like I was ruining my perfectly planned out life. I was so confused, and then I found Catra. I had joined a queer dating app to just kinda see what would happen. We went on a few dates and I really enjoyed her company. I was longing for her, for her touch. I finally understood what people were talking about when they say they feel like they’re becoming whole or something when they love someone. God, I did some stupid shit for her. She’s the reason I got suspended guys.” Bow and Glimmer turn to each other, mouths falling open slightly. “I beat up her homophobic mother because she was saying nasty stuff about Catra and queer people in general. I’ve never been so angry in my life.” Adora hangs onto that last sentence.

“Until now?” Glimmer asks.

“I don’t know,” Adora says. “It’s like I’m feeling everything at once. I’m angry as hell, of course, but I miss her. Like I’m grieving her. I didn’t know my body could crave someone’s touch. I feel so stupid. I had all my firsts with her, and none of it mattered. It was all fake. It’s dumb, but I’m kinda sad I didn’t get to tell her I loved her even though it wasn’t real. But all of it felt so real to me. I don’t know how you could manipulate someone like that.”

“Because she’s evil and we hate her for everything she’s done,” Glimmer corrects.

“I,” Adora starts. Should she admit this? Is she still blinded by everything? “Is it weird that I think she felt bad?”

“She admitted to it, Adora,” Bow says softly. He strokes her head as he gives the bad news.  “You have proof. None of it was real.”

“But did you see her face? She was just as shocked as we were seeing those posters.”

“She admitted to wanting to hurt you from the start. She was lying to you. Who knows what else she lied about or how far her lies could go?” Bow says.

A knock comes from the door. The three of them look at Angella standing in the doorway. Adora sits up not wanting the dean to see her looking like a mess.

“Can I come sit?” Angella asks. Adora nods. Angella sits at the end of her bed. “Glimmer told me what happened. Adora, I’m so sorry.” She pauses. “Who do you need?”

“What?” Adora asks, sniffling.

“Do you want Dean Angella or Mom Angella right now? Because each has their own solutions to this problem right now.”

“What would Dean Angella do right now?” Glimmer asks.

“Well, she would start by investigating the culprit of this and ruling out punishments for exploitation and vandalism of the school. She’d also issue more mandatory ethics classes in the curriculum because apparently some people need it.”

“And Mom Angella?” Adora anxiously asks.

“She’d put nair in that girl’s shampoo.”

Glimmer scoffs. “Mom!”

“What? If you don’t like that, we could send her a glitter bomb. Or throw eggs on her car to strip the paint off.”

“Nice,” Bow says, nodding encouragingly. He high fives Angella, immediately retracting his hand and lowers his voice to a whisper. “I just high fived the Dean. Why did I do that?”

Angella waves her hand. “In this house, I’m just a mom. No official college business as long as I don’t hear anything incriminating. But anyways, Adora. What do you want me to do right now?”

Adora pauses. “I could really use a mom right now.”

Angella opens her arms and pulls Adora into a hug, gently stroking her back. “I’ve got two dozen eggs in the fridge whenever you’re ready.” Adora snickers, and Angella holds her tighter. “And you’re welcome to stay with us for as long as you need. We’ll get all of your stuff moved out later.”

Adora nods, moves back from Angella, and thanks all three of them for their support. Bow suggests that Adora sleep some more before they go back to her dorm. Adora agrees and once everyone is out of her room, she curls up under the blanket and goes to sleep.

Chapter Text

Catra got to the bar half an hour before their set. She knew she was going to get ripped a new one by Lonnie as their call time was an hour beforehand, but Catra didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone for that long. She’s been like this since the Adora incident. For two weeks, she’s barely had the energy to take care of her basic needs. She’s summoned enough strength to perform. At least it gets her moving and takes her mind off things. When Lonnie asked what they should perform, Catra suggested a breakup night. No one dared to question her sudden idea, or the fact that she asked to lead the set.

Now, Catra thinks Lonnie regrets this choice as she’s foaming at the mouth when Catra walks in late.

“Where have you been?” Lonnie spits out. “We’re on in thirty.”

“I know, I know,” Catra says, greeting Kyle and Rogelio.

“Can you get ready in that time?” Lonnie asks.

“Probably,” Catra says. She sets her stuff down next to the stage rather than taking it to their green room.

“You know, just because you dress like an eighty’s rock star doesn’t give you the right to act like one,” Lonnie says, folding her arms.

Kylie and Rogelio slowly step away from the conversation, knowing it could get ugly. But Catra doesn’t bite back. She sits at the edge of the stage and runs her hands through her hair. Lonnie quickly sits beside her.

“Okay, what’s eating you?” Lonnie asks.

“Nothing,” Catra quickly says. “Do you know where the setlist is for tonight? I wanna make sure I have the right order.”

“You’ve been off the past few weeks. Showing up late, later than usual I should say. This energy isn’t you.” Lonnie pulls the list out of her pocket, handing it to Catra but quickly pulls it back as Catra tries to grab it. “Tell me the truth, then you get the setlist.”

“Lon', there’s nothing wrong. I’m just trying to get into the mindset for our depressing breakup songs tonight. It’s been a minute since I’ve led a set. God forbid I’m mentally prepared for once.” Catra reaches her hand out. Lonnie sighs and hands the sheet to her. “Thanks.”

“Did you not pass a class?” Lonnie asks, poking the bear.

Catra grunts. “No.”

“Your friends dump you?”

“I-no. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Did that blonde girl dump you?”

Catra pauses. Lonnie reads right through her. Catra hasn’t been able to talk to anyone about their breakup (was it really a breakup? Catra still didn’t know what to call it). “Yeah. Kinda.”

“About time. That girl was way out of your league,” Lonnie teases, frowning once she sees Catra stare blankly out to the bar. She gives Catra a supportive elbow nudge. “Hey, she doesn’t know what she’s losing. You’re a good person deep, deep down.”

“Thanks for that,” Catra deadpans. She loses her train of thought thinking about everything (or maybe feeling everything again); Adora, the incident, all of the things she should have said. She shakes her head like doing so will remove all of her clouded thoughts from her brain. “But, all of this has got me ready for an emotional set tonight. I’m ready to cry to sad indie love songs.”

“Are you sure you still want to perform? We can cancel if you’re not feeling it.”

“No, I need this. It will be therapeutic.”

Lonnie nods leaving Catra to prepare for the show, but Catra stops her from getting too far. “Thanks, Lon.”

Lonnie smiles. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say that before.”

“I’m trying to appreciate people more,” Catra admits before quickly adding: “Jerk.”

Lonnie scoffs playfully and walks off. As much as they play-fight, Catra truly does appreciate Lonnie. She’s always there to listen, even to the dumb shit Catra complains about. A bad professor, stupid comment her mom made, and now with a breakup. Lonnie always gives Catra a quick slap to the face that feels like a hug. 

Catra forces herself back to reality, taking a deep breath to ground herself. Shereviews the set order and listens to the songs she doesn’t know as well as a quick double check. The crowd quickly fills in the empty-ish bar. They don’t do sad-melodramatic themed nights often, and it being around the holiday season aka the winter of breakups/loneliness, so there was a bigger crowd than usual. It didn’t make her nervous, though. It made her sad. With a performance this big, she wanted to share it with someone and know there was someone special in the audience there just for her. 

Lonnie whistles, snapping Catra from her thoughts, and nods to the digital clock next to the stage. Show time. She gets her mic set up, tests the sound, makes sure her voice is warm, and prepares to perform to the crowd. She announces the theme of tonight, dedicating the songs to those who are heartbroken and messed up, just like her. The crowd gives sentimental–and drunk–cheers giving Catra the energy she needs. 

As Catra sings, she scans the audience out of habit, looking at all the faces staring back at her. The crowd is typically more vibrant and full of life, but with tonight’s theme, everyone is holding their drinks close to them and swaying side to side with the music. She performs the songs with Lonnie as her backup singer with Kyle and Rogelio on any instrument the song needs. After three songs, she keeps scanning the crowd and her eyes catch a blonde girl in a red jacket. Catra’s head snaps, and she misses a note. Lonnie side-eyes her. She forces her head back down once she realizes it’s not Adora.

It is stupid for her to think that Adora would ever turn up here with her own free will, knowing that Catra is playing most weekends. They haven’t spoken in weeks, and that’s never going to change. Still, Catra holds onto a sliver of hope that one night she’ll see her pretty blonde, blueish-gray eyed girl.

And fortunately for Catra, that night is tonight.

As her eyes scan the room, she finds Adora standing off to the side leaning up against the wall, frowning (naturally) like she didn’t want to be there. The second Catra sees Adora, her whole body freezes and she stops singing. Her hands still grip the mic but her mouth falls open. She locks eyes with Adora the whole time. Adora looks back, and furrows her brow while lifting her chin.

The crowd and the band take notice to Catra’s pause. Lonnie covers the mic while leaning to Catra. “What are you doing?” 

Catra ignores her as she speaks and gently steps away from the mic. The rest of the band slowly stop playing as Catra jumps off the low-rise stage. She shoves her way to Adora, takes her hand, and leads her out of the room. Everyone in the room pauses, and Catra’s bandmates shout and curse at her for leaving mid set, and mid song. Catra doesn’t care. Adora is here, and hope flickers in Catra’s stomach.

Adora hesitantly follows Catra, seeing that she keeps her arm long as she’s being guided in the back of the bar. After a minute of winding through hallways, Catra pulls her into an empty green room, hoping her bandmates won’t find her there for a while.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Catra admits. Instinctively, her body leans towards Adora for a hug? A kiss? She doesn’t have time to figure it out before she pulls herself together and walks away, awkwardly.

“I’m not here for you,” Adora spits out.

“I didn’t expect you to be.”

Adora stands against the counter, crossing her arms and closing herself off. Her eyes are stern, practically burning holes into Catra’s face. “I wanna hear it.”

“What?” Catra asks, turning around.

“Don’t play dumb. I deserve to know why you did it.”

“Yeah, you do,” Catra says sincerely. She pulls a chair out and sits across from Adora.

“Don’t try to be the good guy.”

“I’m not!” Catra bites back her tone. “I’m not trying to be. Seriously, you deserve to know why. I’ve been waiting weeks to tell you, I just figured you never wanted to see my face or hear my voice ever again.”

“That part is still true, but I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

A wisp of a smile creeps in the corner of Catra’s mouth. Adora holds out a hand, stopping any momentary good feeling. “What you did to me,” she corrects, dropping her hand.

Catra’s hope deflates. 

“You’re gonna tell me everything,” Adora demands. She points a finger at Catra. “But I get to yell at you first.”

Catra nods, bracing for impact.

“What gave you the right to do that to me? How could you manipulate a person like that for months? And then post those pictures? You gave my number and my body away at the same time. You’re a sociopath. Do you know how many people have been texting me saying that I have a nice ass or boobs? Guys keep asking if they can be a third the next time I hookup with another girl. Girls keep asking if they can experiment with me. I can’t even think about how many people still have those flyers. And knowing that you let one of your friends sneak on us to take the photo? Diabolical. Despicable. You are human scum. Worse, you’re the human equivalent of a subway floor, a toilet seat, a public building’s light switch.”

“A light switch?” Catra softly asks.

Adora throws up her hands. “I don’t know! I heard they’re extremely filthy.” She shakes her head, continuing on with her yelling. “You used me. You took advantage of me, knowing that relationships, sex, being queer is all new to me. You knew that and decided to use me like an emotional ragdoll and fuck me over. Was any of it real? Did you enjoy being with me and touching me because the thought of screwing my life over gets you off? This whole time you never felt guilty for using me like that. There was no small voice of reason in your head that said, ‘Hey, maybe I should treat this girl like a person and not traumatize her. That would be the normal thing to do.’ Like, I don’t even know. Why, I guess? What did I ever do to you that made you treat me like this? Was there ever a reason, or are you just kinky for karma?”

Catra deserves all this, she knows she does. Her bones hurt from her betrayal. She regrets everything so much that she can literally feel it in her bones. Thinking this doesn’t make seeing Adora cry and yell any easier. Knowing that she caused Adora so much pain has created many sleepless nights and anxiety spirals. As frustrated tears spill out of Adora’s eyes, regretful ones pour out of Catra’s.

“Why?” Adora barks out. “What did I do?”

“It was in high school,” Catra whispers, lowering her eyes to the floor.

“What?” Adora asks, wiping her face. Catra doesn’t think Adora was expecting an answer. “I barely knew you in high school.”

“We had homeroom together, and I don’t know, I could just see through your facade. You were the popular jock, perfect Adora. Perfect grades, perfect friends, a perfect life. But I knew there was something off, you couldn’t be perfect in every way. You had to have some juicy secret. And I figured out one day that you were gay. I don’t know how I knew, but I just knew. And once I realized it, I started getting a crush on you, and I was desperate for you to come out.” Catra stops to catch her breath.

“You did this because I wasn’t out in high school?” Adora asks, angrily.

Catra shakes her head, her breath hitching almost panickedly. She stands up from her chair, wiping her eyes and pacing back and forth. “No, it wasn’t that.” Her voice cracks and fluctuates as she tries to explain. “You did something bad at a party one night.”

“I didn’t go to parties,” Adora says, confused.

“You went to one,” Catra corrects. She stops her pacing, debating where to sit. She decides to be brave, and sits on the counter next to Adora. Adora doesn’t acknowledge her, but doesn’t move either.

“We were both at a party one night in sophomore year. It was the first one you went to, and it was the last one I went to. I had managed to sneak away from my friends and talk to you for a bit. I was so eager to get a second alone with you and was convinced you liked me, too. You used to do double takes when I walked into homeroom and that made my imagination run wild. At some point that night, your friends had left, and then you spilled your drink on your shirt…”

Adora curses, stepping backwards looking at her now spiked-fruit punch stained windbreaker and white training shirt. She sets her cup down frustratedly on the counter and grabs some napkins, rubbing the stain and making it worse. Catra takes a drink from her cup before setting it down and grabbing Adora by the elbow.

“Come on, I know a trick to get it out.”

Adora’s face lights up. “Really?”

Catra leads them to a bathroom. She bangs on the door before entering, making sure no one is in there. Adora is still looking at her shirt when they walk in. Catra closes and locks the door behind them. She pats the counter and gestures to Adora to sit on it. She does.

“Okay, first: take off your jacket.”

Adora shuffles it off and tosses it to the end of the countertop. Catra’s heart skips a beat seeing Adora wearing a tight fitting, slightly damp shirt. It shows off her curves and muscles in all the right places. Well, as it should being an athletic top. Catra grabs a towel and some hand soap, running both under the facet. She rubs the spots on Adora’s shirt with the soapy towel, only making it worse. Catra continues trying to wash it out for a few minutes, but then Adora gently pushes her away.

“You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” she asks.

“Nope.”

Adora rolls her eyes. “Then why did you drag me in here saying that you did?”

“I dunno. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Why in the bathroom?”

Catra pauses. “It’s quieter. I can actually hear you in here.”

“Did you want to talk about something?”

Catra shrugs. 

Adora groans. “You don’t plan things out, do you?”

“Maybe I have everything planned out and you just don’t realize it.”

The two come to a lull. Their eyes looking around the poorly decorated room.

“So,” Catra says, forcefully continuing the conversation. “Do you have any crushes right now?”

“Oh my god,” Adora groans.

“What? Is this not what we’re supposed to talk about at parties?”

Adora sighs, giving in. “I don’t really do crushes. I’ve got too much riding on my scholarships to be distracted by boys or whatever.”

Catra chuckles. “Yeah, boys can be distracting. Luckily for me I don’t have that problem.”

“You don’t date either?”

“I don’t date boys .”

“Oh,” Adora says, understanding Catra’s tone. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume.”

Catra waves her hand. “It’s fine. You usually don’t have great gaydar when you’re straight.” She pauses. “You are straight, right?”

“Yep,” Adora says quickly. “Timing just isn’t good right now. I figure I’ll start dating in college. It’s gotta be easier when I can lock in my tuition and stuff.”

Catra nods, thinking of other probing things to ask. “Do you have any bucket list items?”

“Like before college?”

“Or just in general. Like anything really stupid you want to do before kicking the bucket? I should have known I was gay sooner because one of my goals was kissing a girl before I die. Little did I know that I wanted to kiss girls a lot more before I die. What about you?”

“Yeah, that sounds fun,” Adora says.

Catra blinks, not comprehending what was said. “I mean, like what about your items?”

“Oh,” Adora says embarrassedly. “I just wanna travel the world. See most of the countries and stuff. Play pro, and whatnot.” Her cover does not do her well.

“Did you say ‘yes’ to kissing a girl?” Catra asks, knowing what answer she wants. “That’s something you want to do?”

“No-I mean, I guess. It sounds fun. Like to have one crazy moment before–everything.” Adora laughs. “I wouldn’t know how though.”

Catra’s stomach flutters at the thought of an opportunity. “I could show you.”

Adora’s eyes have been dancing around the room, purposefully ignoring Catra’s gaze. But once she said those words, Adora becomes locked in on Catra’s face and her breath becomes more rapid. Catra drops her eyes down to Adora’s lips, then back up. Adora does the same. She slides off the counter. They both slowly inch in towards each other until their lips meet. Catra takes her hand and snakes it across Adora’s jawline into her hair. Adora breathes sharply, tilting her head slightly at the touch. Catra pulls them closer together, deepening the kiss. Their hands trace the edges of each other’s bodies, eventually reuniting and intertwining. 

As Catra places kisses on the girl’s neck, Adora pushes her away abruptly. “No.”

Catra feels Adora’s touches lingering on her skin. 

“I don’t-I don’t…” Adora stammers.

“You said you wanted to. You leaned into the kiss.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“There’s nothing wrong with an innocent kiss. It’s not going to ruin your perfect life.”

“This was not innocent.”

“You’re really vanilla, aren’t you?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Adora pushes her palms over her face. “I can’t. I’m not.”

“The more you say you’re not the more I’m thinking you are.” Catra walks forward, gently scooping Adora’s hands from her face into her hands. “It’s okay. We’ve all been there.”

Adora shakes Catra’s hand off. “Don’t say ‘we.’ I’m not gay.”

Catra chuckles, shortly and agitated, walking away from Adora. “You don’t kiss someone like that if you’re not interested. You don’t feel someone up if you’re platonic. That was a damn good kiss, and I know you enjoyed it.”

Adora stammers out, mumbling and murmuring to herself.

“Tell me this, Adora. Did you enjoy it?”

That snaps Adora from babbling. “What?”

“Did you enjoy kissing me? Did it feel good?”

“No, this is going to mess everything up.”

“That’s not what I asked. Okay, pretend the outside world isn’t out there right now. The only things in existence are you, me, this bathroom, and our kiss. Tell me, would you do it again if you knew no one was watching?”

Adora creases her forehead, dropping her gaze down to the floor. Neither one of them moves until Adora quietly responds, “Yes.”

“Do you want to know something cool?” Catra takes a step forward, lifting Adora’s chin up with her fingers, and lowers her voice to a whisper. “No one’s watching.”

Adora’s eyes drift from the girl’s eyes to her lips and back again. She starts to babble nervously. Catra glides her fingertips across Adora’s jawline to cup her cheek. Adora softens at the touch and stops muttering.

Catra’s voice is still a whisper, and she taunts the girl. “So are you going to kiss me again or not?”

Adora nods.

“Only if you want to,” Catra adds.

“I want to,” Adora pleads.

“Then do it,” Catra says, sharply.

Adora initiates the kiss fiercely, almost taking Catra by surprise. She takes a step back to stop herself from falling. Once she’s regained her footing, she leads them both back against the counter for more support. Catra rubs her thumb across Adora’s cheek. Adora pulls back enough to tilt her head and kiss Catra’s finger. Catra sees an opportunity. She snakes her head down to Adora’s neck and kisses it again–hoping it doesn’t cause Adora to recoil like she did last time–and drops her hand down Adora’s arm, rubbing it gently. Adora breathes out forcefully. Catra plants more kisses to the girl’s neck, around her collarbone, and to the other side of her. Not hard enough to leave physical marks, but she hopes to leave emotional ones. Adora’s hands trace Catra’s back. Catra makes her way back up to Adora’s lips and kisses her long and hard.

Eventually, Catra pulls away. 

“Take it from someone who spent a lot of time in the closet, the only thing that could stop this feeling is ending the world. Embrace it.”

Adora freezes, like reality suddenly hit her again. “This was a mistake. I’m sorry.”

She grabs her jacket and heads to the door. Catra blocks her path. Adora swats at Catra’s arm. Catra stomps on Adora’s foot. Adora fake curses at the pain.

“Are you serious? After all that you’re gonna just walk away and pretend like it never happened. We both know what you felt. I could see it in your eyes. Do yourself a favor and accept you for who you are.”

“You don’t know who I am just because we sit in homeroom together. Now let me out.”

“Not until you admit you’re gay.”

“Me kissing another girl does not make me gay.”

“It does if you enjoyed it.”

Adora’s eyes turn dark, and scared. “Let me out. I’m not afraid to break the door down.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Catra mocks.

Adora lunges towards the lock, Catra paws back. They both fumble with the knob, scratching and pushing each other at the same time. Adora manages to slide herself into a position where she can unlock it and twist the knob to open the door. As it unfolded, Adora runs out, and Catra falls onto the floor.

“I’m not like you. I don’t like girls. And I’m not a fag!”

A quiet gasp comes from behind her. Adora turns around, seeing a few of their classmates huddled together watching everything unfold. Catra looks up with fear in her eyes. Adora snaps her head back, glancing at Catra, then turns back at the small crowd with terrified eyes.

Adora nervous babbles again. “She, she kissed me. I didn’t want to, but she kept trying until she got me.”

Catra scowls. “What?”

“Don’t-don’t deny it.” Adora is shaking, convincing the crowd of her terror. “I told you I didn’t want to, and you kissed me anyways.”

For a second, Catra is horrified. Did she do that? Was she pushing too many boundaries? But she replays their quick conversations before each kiss. Catra knows she deliberately asked if Adora wanted to kiss, if it was okay to touch her. And Adora said yes, even initiating one of the kisses.

So throwing Catra under the bus was personal.

“You said that you-”

“Didn’t want that,” Adora finishes. Her brow is furrowed, face contorted with sadness and fear. Catra sees a hint of remorse in her eyes, like Adora’s mouth is betraying her brain. “I’ve gotta go.” Adora turns on her heels, awkwardly, and leaves, running a little, not daring to see Catra’s face. The whole conversation is unreal. 

The classmates watch Adora leave and Catra stand up without offering any help.

“You’re gay?” one of them asks.

Catra opens her mouth, but closes it, unsure of what to say. It’s out in the open, not that she ever tried to hide it, but now whether people knew or not was her decision. “I’m a lesbian, yeah.”

“What were you doing with Adora?” another girl asks.

Catra stands up, adjusting her clothes. “I was trying to fix her shirt, that’s all . She spilled punch on it.”

Another classmate gasps. “Did you touch her? Is that why she was so upset?”

“What?” Catra asks, disgusted. “Why would I do that?”

“Because you’re a lesbian. That’s what you guys do.”

“Assault people?” Catra asks. 

“But you definitely were trying to get with Adora in there, right?”

Catra’s face flushes, but she bites on her cheek to stop from turning red completely. Yeah, ideally she would have further with Adora, but only if she consented to it. And that didn’t happen, but would anyone believe her now?

Catra blinks, unknowing of the tears spouting in her eyes. “I was trying to help her.”

The one student wiggles their eyebrows. “Oh, yeah. Help her . You lesbians are all the same.”

Catra pushes them, heading back to the main area. She searches the party for any familiar faces. None. Scorpia and Entrapta must have left. Not even Lonnie or Kyle are there to crash the vibe. She checks all their usual spots to realize she’s truly alone. Catra wipes the tear from cheek, and heads to the front door, pulling out her phone trying to figure out who to call. She notices something off, like the aura of the room has changed. The music is still blasting as loud as ever, but everyone in the living room is silent, eyes glued on Catra. Some have their phones out taking videos of what Catra assumes is going to become one of the worst nights in her life.

A whisper comes from behind her. She whips around, seeing the girls who caught her and Adora snickering in a little huddle. The queen bee (Pandora? Perfuma? Catra’s anxiety is too high to remember) shushes her group once they’ve been spotted.

“You think this is funny?” Catra spits out. Silence not a single word. “I didn’t do anything, and no one believes me.”

“Why would anyone believe you ?” Perfuma asks, emphasizing the last word. Catra knows exactly what the queen bee means. Gossip spreads faster than fire. Once she admitted to being gay, Catra put a target on her back. Adora accusing her didn’t make it easier. And who is everyone going to believe: the straight A, “I’m going to college with five scholarships” jock, or the recently outed outcast lesbian?

“Just leave me alone.”

“You leave us alone, perv.”

Sneers and laughs come from the crowd which sends Catra right out the door. She catches a glimpse of the kitchen as she steps out. Adora is doing shots with her team looking as happy as ever. Not a fucking care in the world. Catra leaves, with the world on her shoulders, sobbing once she’s far enough away from the house.

“You passionately kissed me, called me a slur, and then outed me to some of the most homophobic people at our school. Does that ring any bells?” Catra finally lets her anger air out. After over four years of suffering, she’s finally confronting Adora.

Adora’s eyes are wide and mortified. “Catra, oh god. I’m sorry. I barely remember that night.”

Catra continues on, ignoring the apology. “I woke up the next morning with dozens of messages from our stupid classmates asking if I had a crush on them or when the next time I kissed a girl if they could watch. Stupid homophobic shit like that. It was just constant questions that crossed so many lines. What I’d do with a girl, have I ever gotten off thinking of someone at our school, would I pay to get with someone? Do you know how mortified I was? Everyone looked at me like I was a zoo animal. The tension faded after a few weeks, but for the rest of high school I was always ‘the lesbian’ and nothing more.”

“Oh god. Oh my god.” Adora runs her hands through her hair. “ Oh god. I did that? I said that? I can’t believe I would ever say something like that. Oh god, it’s all coming back to me. I remember heading straight to the kitchen to get so drunk I’d forget the whole thing. And I did. I remember the next week all the rumors I heard, but no one remembered that it was me who outed you, just the fact that you were gay. Catra, I’m so sorry. I called you that and then outed you.” Adora stands up and walks in front of Catra, like she’s trying to process everything. “I thought you were out before then?”

“Nope, not publicly at least. My mom and friends knew, and I wasn’t trying to keep it a secret. I never got to come out on my own terms, though. Not that I owe those little shits anything, but it would have been nice to tell the people I wanted.”

“How did you manage that?” Adora asks.

Catra takes a breath. It’s all still a little raw for her. “Eventually, I figured out it was easier to laugh with them. If I played along and cracked some jokes, it confused them. You and your little princess friends were no help, by the way. God, you guys were just the worst in high school.”

“Princess friends?” Adora asks. 

“That’s what we called your friend group, ‘cause everyone treated you guys like princesses,” Catra mutters.

“What did we do?” Adora asks, not a hint of anger in her voice.

“You guys were just so obnoxious all the time. The staff and teachers thought you guys were saints and could do no wrong. They never believed what I said or dismissed everything because they were only rumors. Even my mother sided with you guys over me, but there's no shock there. When I got outed, it was your friend group that constantly talked about me. Everytime I walked past you guys or had a class with one of you, all I heard were whispers and snickers behind my back. People threw their lunches at me, snuck stupid notes and graphic pictures into my locker. The Princesses were the culprits behind most of the rumors. Which is ironic, because most of you guys now major in helping professions.”

“No, we couldn’t have been that bad.”

“It was high school, Adora. Everyone was horrible.” Catra pauses. “Like I said, I figured out if I laughed with them or made jokes back, it would make them stop. It confused everyone, making it less fun to torture me. Didn’t make it any easier, though. Do you remember that I was actually a cheerleader for the first two years of high school? Probably not, even though you were on the field. Well, after all the rumors, all my teammates thought I was looking at them while we were in the locker room. I started having to change in the bathroom or just wear my uniform all day. Then I was accused of joining so I could touch other girls. If the rumors weren’t enough, their bullying was worse. I ended up quitting to save my dignity, but it just egged them on more.” Catra stops to think back. “Glimmer was on the team. She did nothing to stop it.”

Adora’s brow furrows. “Glimmer did this?”

“No,” Catra says, her anger starting to simmer. She pushes it down as much as she can. “You did this, Adora. You were the one who outed me because you were too afraid to admit what you truly are. Who you truly love.” Catra bites her lip, taking a deep breath. “You weren’t ready. And I shouldn’t have pushed you to do it. I thought if I could make you feel what I felt, do what you did to me in high school, that I would feel better. Maybe all the karma and justice in the world would be restored and I could move on. I brainstormed ways to ruin your life for years. I knew nothing would work out and I would have gotten expelled or something. But when we matched online, I thought it was a gift from the universe. It must have been a sign to get my revenge, finally. I planned it out for weeks, what to do to get you to fall in love with me and different ways to break your heart. I didn’t plan for me to start liking you, seeing what a good person you are. How different and mature you are now from your high school self. I never planned to fall in love with you, but I did.”

Catra looks up, hoping to catch Adora’s eyes, but Adora is looking down. She walks back to the counter and sits down next to Catra in silence.

Catra continues on. “I knew this had turned into something different than hate when you defended me against my mother. That’s when I knew you were a completely different person, and I accepted what I was feeling. I tried to call off the plan. I told Scopria and Entrapta that I didn’t want to do it anymore, I had come to my senses, and that this was a horrible plan from the start. But I promised them if I got in too deep, they would do the plan without me. That was a long time ago! Before I realized…Doesn’t matter. I’m sorry, Adora. I never should have done any of that. I let my anger get the best of me and I lost any sense of humanity I had left. You never have to forgive me, but I want you to know that it was all real. Everything we did, every deep talk we had came from a real place. I wasn’t trying to hurt you in those moments.”

Catra sniffles as tears pour from her eyes. She glances over to Adora, who is silently crying. Her eyes never left the floor. The two girls sit together, not talking or moving for several minutes. Catra debates on grabbing water and food for the both of them, but she doesn't want to risk Adora sneaking out. The conversation isn’t finished. Catra is still waiting for Adora’s response, whether it’s to curse her out more or to leave entirely. Catra knows which one is going to happen. She’ll be lucky if she doesn’t leave the room with a black eye. She expects to be hit, yelled at more, and maybe for Adora to rip the room to shreds.

But Adora hugs her.

Catra is stiff in Adora’s grip. Slowly, she moves her hands to Adora’s back and hugs her. Part of her feels like this is a trap, like Adora is making her vulnerable and then will snap her neck or stab her in the back (which Catra believes would be fair after everything). But Adora doesn’t do anything except sob into Catra’s shoulders, pulling her tighter.

“I’m sorry,” Adora shakily whispers.

Catra creases her forehead and strokes Adora’s back. She apologizes? Adora apologizes after Catra used her like that? Adora must have brain damage from her fight, because there is no way Adora is in the wrong now. In high school, absolutely, but now?

“You can’t be apologizing to me,” Catra says, her voice shaking.

Adora pulls away, and Catra sees how red her eyes and face are. “I ruined your life.”

“And I ruined yours! I wanted to make you feel the pain I felt, even though I knew that was just an awful thing for someone to go through. I knew better, and I still did it! You do not get to apologize when I’m the asshole here. That’s not a normal person's reaction! You should be screaming at me or throwing eggs at my face.”

Adora chuckles, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “I actually came here tonight to stop your show.”

Catra smiles. “See! That’s a normal reaction.”

Adora and Catra laugh and fall back into the silence. Catra is the first one to break it after a minute or two. “I don’t suppose you want me around anymore, do you?”

“I don’t know,” Adora admits. “It’s a lot to take in. I understand why you did everything, but I’m still angry that you did. I’m still hurt.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix this, but I appreciate the apology. I need some time to think things through, and to talk to my friends about what they did, too.”

“I don’t need an apology from them,” Catra says softly.

“You do. They need to know what they did was wrong. I don’t think they’d do anything like that now, but I have to make sure that they never will in the future. Then we can talk.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything just because I want to.”

“You never made me feel pressured, I was ready. I’m unsure of everything right now, I really need to think things over.”

Catra nods, and Adora stands, walking to the door. She lingers in the doorway to say goodbye, then leaves. Catra runs her hands through her hair, relieved and distressed at the same time. Adora didn’t hit her, good thing. Adora needs to think about if she wants Catra in her life, bad thing. Catra came clean about everything, that’s good. Adora feels like she did something wrong, that’s bad. Very bad. Catra’s thoughts bounce back and forth in her brain. She wipes her face, trying to compose herself.

“You’re an asshole.”

Catra jumps at the sound. One of her bandmates is leaning up against the doorway, arms crossed and mouth open in shock.

“I know, Lonnie. I’m not in the mood,” Catra says when she gets a grip.

“I know that blonde girl. She's the one who came to our shows, right? She really liked you. And then you went and did all that?” Lonnie shakes her head and clicks her tongue. “Asshole move.”

Catra refrains from rolling her eyes. Of course Lonnie listened to their conversation. “Did you hear what she did to me?”

Lonnie nods. “Yep, still a dick move.”

“Thanks Lon’, I didn’t know that,” Catra sarcastically remarks.

Lonnie flips one hand up to look at her nails, casually. “And you should’ve kissed her.”

Catra creases her forehead. “No way. She said she needed space.”

“But she lingered,” Lonnie argues. “She didn’t walk out right away. She paused at the door, seeing if you were going to do anything.”

“Adora doesn’t want anything to do with me right now, as she should. We’ve all established that I’m the asshole here. Kissing her would have done me no good.”

“Chicken,” Lonnie spits out.

Catra scoffs. “I’m giving her what she needs.”

“That is not what she needs.”

“She needs time to think,” Catra reinforces.

“She wants to know that you care,” Lonnie says. “And not with just words. She’s going to get her friends to apologize to you. What are you going to do?”

“You think she still cares about me?”

Lonnie shrugs. “Maybe. That linger meant something.”

Catra hops off the counter, straightens herself up, and walks over to Lonnie.

“You better be right.” Catra walks straight past her into the hall. 

Lonnie shouts after her. “What are you gonna do?”

“I’m gonna show her I still care!”