Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The whispers behind my back. 

If only I can drown it out.

But the only way to do that is to…

No.

I’m not gonna do that.

These voices will go away.

One day…

Just need to endure it for a little bit longer…

“It’s getting pretty long.” 

The figure played with the pink locks of their hair in front of the bedroom mirror. A grin was slowly growing on their face. What kind of fun hairstyles can they try with this type of hair length? The endless amount of possibilities got them bubbling with excitement. They should ask their sister about it tomorrow.

The figure hummed excitedly and turned around to get ready for bed. 

But then, something caught their eye by the closet door. A junior highschool student uniform. The grin they had suddenly dropped.

They stood up and closed it until it heard a clunk of the wood. They then trudged to the bed and sighed as they threw themselves on it. 

Maybe tomorrow shouldn’t come after all.

---

It should be around here… Mizuki hopped on her toes, scanning the crowd around Scramble Crossing. Her hand hovered over her eyes to cover the glare from the sun. She looked down at her phone.

13:00

They should be meeting up right now. She unlocked her phone and clicked on the Nightcord app. Scrolling through the text messages, her hand stopped where the group coordinated their outfits.

One of the members should be wearing a cream colored jacket with a blue blouse. The other would be wearing a pink blouse. And the other should be wearing a green dress. 

Mizuki shut off her phone and stood on her toes again to search the area. 

It was then that a brown side ponytail drifted by her vision. Mizuki looked over and saw a tall girl wearing a cream colored jacket. Could that be one of them?

Mizuki slowly began to follow the girl and she found two girls sitting by a building who were chatting. The girl in the pink blouse was chatting happily while the other girl, who had green hair and was wearing a green dress just listened in. 

In the middle of the conversation, the pink blouse girl’s head perked up and her face brightened. She hopped off her seat and skipped over to them. 

“Blue ribbon tied in a side ponytail and a cream white jacket,” The girl mumbled as she leaned over to them. “Are you guys, Amia and Tsuki??”

“A-ah!” The cream colored jacket girl said, “Y-yes. I’m Tsuki. And Amia…?” She turned around and nearly fell onto the pink blouse girl from shock after spotting Mizuki.

Mizuki laughed. “Ahah! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Tsuki let out a breath. "How long have you been behind me…?"

“Not that long. I promise." She turned to the pink blouse girl. "Yes, I am Amia. I'm assuming you're Minorinrin?"

"Uh huh!" Minorinrin hummed as she ecstatically.

"Uhm…" The girl in the green dress appeared behind the carefree girl, gripping the pink blouse tightly. "H-hello…"

Mizuki grinned at her. "And you must be Pomelo!"

Pomelo hesitated a bit before nodding. She slowly appeared from behind Minorinrin while twiddling her fingers. "It's nice to meet you all."

Mizuki clapped happily. "Alright then! The whole gang's here! Welcome to the first offline meeting of Hobbyists on Days Off!! The chat group that's all about relaxing while discussing our hobbies!"

Mizuki huffed with pride. She had rehearsed that for who knows how long.

Pomelo blinked. "Hobbyists on Days Off?"

"Neat name, ain't it?" Mizuki grinned, "I just came up with it last week."

Pomelo looked like she wanted to protest but ultimately didn’t say anything. It was totally different to her usual quick witted online persona.

"I think it's cute!" Minorinrin exclaimed. She isn't any different from her online persona.

Tsuki fidgeted with her necklace but had a soft smile as she looked at the group. 

Mizuki could feel her chest getting lighter. Yeah… she knew meeting up online was a good idea. "I know we've already been talking a bunch online, but let's go around and introduce ourselves again!" She cleared her throat dramatically. “I am Amia, the founder of this group. But during our offline meetings, you can know me as Akiyama Mizuki. I'm a first-year at Kamiyama High and I like making videos and collages as a hobby. I also like cute clothes and I binge a lot of manga and anime.”

Minorinrin’s eyes were practically sparkling. “You have such a good eye for cute clothes! All the brands that you showed me in the group chat were so cute!!”

Mizuki could feel herself blush. “Eheh… thanks.” She turned towards Pomelo. “It's your turn, Pomelo.”

The girl in question started to shrink behind Minorinrin. “Uhm… like you said… I’m Pomelo. But you can know me as Kusanagi Nene while we meet up offline. I’m also a first-year at Kamiyama High and uh I like playing video games, watching movies, and going to see musicia- and watching movies. That’s it.”

Minorinrin started to laugh. “You like watching movies so much that you mentioned it twice?”

“I uh- yeah…” Nene hung her head low. 

Tsuki started to laugh as well which made Nene shrink back even more. The tall girl started to stiffen at the sight. “A-ah sorry! I was just thinking about the movie you recommended the other day. I laughed so hard watching it that it made my cheeks hurt ahah…”

Nene straightened herself. “Y-you watched it??” A small smile appeared on her face. “I’m glad you liked it…”

Minorinrin was practically floating in the air in excitement. “I’ll go next!! As you know, I’m Minorinrin but you can know me as Hanasato Minori in the real world! I’m a first year at Miyajo!”

Mizuki didn’t know if she saw it wrong or not but did Tsuki just flinch a bit?

She tapped her chin in thought. “Let’s see… my hobbies include copy idols’ dance routines and journaling. I’m also a huge fan of Kiritani Haruka from ASRUN!”

“Oh I listened to that ASRUN album you told me about. It was literally heaven in my ears!” Mizuki interjected.

Minori turned to Mizuki with a sparkling grin. “Oh thank you so much!! We can talk more about it at the diner! It was the last album before-” The girl’s cheerful aura flickered for a second. But she quickly recovered and let out a slight chuckle. “Ahah… I’m getting a bit too ahead of myself.”

Mizuki blinked. Oh right… Haruka had left ASRUN. She could still remember that Minori hadn’t messaged in the group chat for days when the news was announced. It looks like it’s still getting to her. 

Tsuki coughed to break the awkward atmosphere that started to creep in. “Uhm… I guess that leaves me to introduce myself.” She looked down and began twirling her loose strands of hair. “I’m Tsuki. But during our offline meetings, you can know me as Mochizuki Honami. I’m… also a first year at Miyajo…” She cleared her throat. “My hobbies include walking my dog, Shibao and tending my garden at home. I also like apple pies.”

“Oh yeah. Speaking of which, I came across a new apple pie shop that just opened on my way here…” Nene weakly said.

Honami perked up. “Oh really!? I’ve heard about it but I totally forgot that the grand opening was today!!” She blinked and shrunk back in embarrassment from her sudden outburst. “Um… would it be alright to make a quick stop on our way from the diner…?”

Minori pumped her fists in the air. “Of course! Let’s go! We can save some room in our stomachs from the diner.”

“Tsk tsk.” Mizuki shook her head. “There is always room for dessert. Isn’t that right, Mochizuki-san?” 

Honami faltered a bit after being addressed by her real life name. But she nodded with a smile. “Of course!”

Mizuki sighed in relief as she watched the three start to drift off into a nice and friendly conversation. 

It looks like they’re having fun. She’s glad that she decided to arrange an offline meeting like this.

That means that she should have as much fun as possible as well. This group is precious to her after all.

Who else can she freely talk to about her hobbies without a care in the world?

Chapter Text

Just thirty seconds left and she is set. 

Nene’s fingers quickly flew across the controller as she watched her virtual character perform intricate fighting combos against her opponent. The other virtual avatar tried to roll away but Nene kept the opponent in her reach and pelted them with combos. A grin started to form on her face.

They did not stand a chance against her.

Soon enough, she was met with a victory screen. And just as quickly, she was met with a rematch request.

A sigh escaped her. It was the fifth time she had received it from this player and she’d be lying if she was starting to get annoyed. Nonetheless, she accepted. Yes she could’ve denied it but a rejection in a rematch is basically the same thing as giving up. And she will never give up to a player like that.

The screen changed and the two virtual avatars appeared in the lobby screen as they waited for the stage to set up. Nene was drumming her thumbs against the controller when she received a message from the lobby.

Opponent: I’ll win this time. You’ll see

What does this player think that this game is? A gacha? They can’t just keep rerolling and expect a different result.

Pomelo: You’d think you would be able to see that it’s hopeless after five rounds.

She needs to get them to finally give up after the sixth. She could feel the time she has left in the day to do her homework ticking by.

Opponent: There is no way someone can be that good. You gotta be using some cheat codes

Hah? So her opponent is this type of player. What a sore loser. Well it’s not like she hadn’t heard someone accuse her of cheating before.

Pomelo: Or perhaps maybe you’re just trying to find an excuse on why you’re so bad

Nene smirked as if she could feel the player fuming behind the other side of the screen.

Opponent: I will report you and get your account shut down.

The ready status appeared above the virtual avatar immediately after the stage finished loading. So this is how it’s gonna be then.

Pomelo: Go right ahead if you’re going to be this sore about losing in something that you fairly lost in.

Nene confirmed the ready status and the game’s loading screen started to play before her. The girl sat back on her couch. 

If only she can be this witty in real life.

---

It should be coming any time now.

Minori frantically tapped her foot as she stared at her email. It has been a routine for her but she can never get rid of the mix of giddy and nervousness whenever she stares at her phone.

Her bedroom door creaked open and a small little brunette boy appeared behind it. “Oneechan, Mom told me to let you know that dinner is almost ready,” he said.

Minori’s eyes did not leave her phone but she did raise her hand to wave her little brother off. “Thank you. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Her brother did not leave the room and his eyes laid on her phone. “Are you waiting for another idol audition letter?”

“Uh huh!” Minori huffed, “It should be coming any moment now and I got a good feeling about this!!”

It was the audition where she had made only two mistakes. Not only that, but they were pretty minor and it did not affect her performance.  

Her brother, however, did not seem to be as enthusiastic. He gripped on the door and started to slowly back away with it. “Well, you should at least hurry up or Samo is going to eat your dinner instead.”

“Hey! You better defend my dinner with your life!” Minori called back. 

Just as the hatch of the door made a click, her phone lit up with a notification. 

The brunette’s head zipped back down to look at her phone. Her hands were clenching it tightly in excitement. 

But as she glanced at the title, the energy that she had immediately evaporated away.

Thank you for auditioning for SeaOfStars Entertainment

A title that she had to see many many times before.

Still, she opened the email just to be sure but after reading the first two lines. She didn’t bother to scroll through and read the rest.

Because it was another rejection letter.

---

“You should’ve seen her face when I told her that we were going to have a pop quiz yesterday!” 

Honami giggled softly, “Well that teacher is known for handing out pop quizzes when we least expect it.”

“Tell me about it,” her classmate, Ume, laughed. The student kicked a stray rock as it skidded across the Miyajo campus pavement. “I always tell her to at least pay attention in class so she doesn’t have to cram so much but she doesn’t seem to get the memo.”

“Well, she will have to learn it eventually.”

Ume gave Honami a gentle shove on the shoulder. “She would learn it quicker if you don’t give her your notes at the last minute.”

“Ahah…” The honors student twirled her hair. “I just don’t want her to fail, you know?”

“Right. Well that isn’t a bad thing.” The student looked up at Honami and grinned. “Oh and speaking of studying, do you want to study with me on the equations we just learned last class? I think I got it but I just want to make sure since you’re good at this sort of thing.”

Honami blinked. “Huh?”

“A-ah!” Ume waved her hands to dismiss what she said. “If you’re busy, then you don’t have to!”

The honors student’s eyes widened. “Ah no no! I’m free!” She gave her classmate a smile. “I’ll be more than happy to study together.”

“Nice! Thanks, Mochizuki-san!” She gave Honami a grateful pat on the shoulder. “We can also invite Renho-chan along, right? You know, with the whole pop quiz thing?”

Honami laughed, “Of course!”

“Alright! It’s settled then!” Her classmate’s eyes wandered off and Honami watched them light up. “Oh! One of my friends is over there!” The student exclaimed and turned to Honami. “I’ll go say ‘Hi’ to them real quick.”

Honami’s smile flickered. “Yeah. Go right ahead.”

“I’ll see you at art class, Mochizuki-san!” Ume waved in good-bye as she ran over to her friend.

The student pounced on her friend which ended up surprising the girl and Honami could hear laughter. The brunette’s smile quickly melted away as she sighed and continued walking to class. Her sketchbook was clenched tightly in her hands.

Right. Art class is next. 

Honami grimaced. Luckily, her seat is closer in the back but she can still hear the whispers that plague her ears whenever her brush touches the canvas.

She really doesn’t want to go.

An all too familiar feeling crept up her neck. Honami’s footsteps came to a stop. Somebody was looking at her. 

Honami raised her head and saw a girl with long dark hair staring at her through a classroom window. Soon enough, they locked eyes.

The girl flinched and immediately turned her head to focus on her desk.

The pain that Honami already had in her heart started to engulf her. It was enough to suffocate her. 

“Ichika-chan…” she whispered.

---

“And there!” Mizuki hummed as she snipped off a thread from the skirt. She held it up in the air so she could admire it. The frills she added to it fit the skirt perfectly and it wasn’t too extravagant that it takes away from the other details from the shirt. She grinned

She should show Honami this right away and ask what she thinks of it.

Suddenly, her phone began to ring. Mizuki picked it up to find ‘Teach’ as the contact. Ah, here it comes again. 

What a pain.

“Hiya, Sensei!” Mizuki said as she picked it up. “What do you need?”

Chapter Text

“Woah woah! Samo-chan! Slow down!! It’s not a race!!” Minori cried as she got dragged by the large white dog. Shibao barked happily as it ran by the golden dog.

“W-wait wait, Shibao! Not you too!” Honami sputtered as the shiba inu started to tug against the leash to try to catch up to the samoyed. 

The two brunettes ended up getting helplessly tied up in the little race that the two dogs decided to start. It did not stop until they made it to the edge of the park. Both dogs stopped so suddenly that it made the two girls topple onto the grass.

Samo and Shibao perked up and trotted over to happily jump around the girls who were gasping for air.

“Ahaha!” Minori finally laughed as she sat up. Leaves were entangled in her hair. “Samo-chan hasn’t run like that in ages!”

Honami groaned as she dusted the dirt off her jacket. Shibao tried to help by licking some dust off her face. It made her let out a small smile. “Shibao hadn’t run like that either. I’m glad that they get along so well.”

Minori giggled as she scratched the back of Samo’s ear. “I’m glad that walking our dogs together has started to become a routine, Honami-chan.”

Honami’s hand stopped. “...Honami-chan…?”

“A-ah…” Minori scratched her cheek. “Should I not call you that?”

Honami gulped. She was happy that Minori regarded them to be close but… there was something that started to feel heavy in her chest. “No no. That’s fine. It was just unexpected that’s all…”

Minori sat up with a brightened face. “Alright! Honami-chan it is then!” She reached over to pet Shibao. “Hey, we should eat lunch together at school tomorrow.”

“H-huh?”

“Yeah! I’ve been meaning to ask you that ever since I found out that we’ve been going to the same school.” Minori’s eyes softened as she gently scratched Shibao’s chin. “School has been great so far. Everybody is so nice and I even became friends with two of my classmates, Kohane-chan and Shiho-chan. It’ll be nice for you to join us for lunch.”

Honami stiffened. Her hands gripped on the grass tightly. “S-Shiho-chan?” she breathed.

Minori stopped petting Shibao and looked up at his owner curiously. “Did you say something, Honami-chan?”

“I-I…” Honami tried her best to keep herself steady but her arms couldn’t stop shaking. “It’s nice that you’re enjoying school so far.” She stood up and refused to look at Minori in the eyes. “But…I’ve already promised a friend that I would eat lunch with her tomorrow.”

“Oh that’s fine!” Minori hopped up on her feet with a smile. “Next time then!”

Honami gripped her arm tightly. “Right…”

---

Okay so how did they do it again?

Minori leaned on her school desk and closed her eyes in concentration as she tried to break down that idol choreography video that Mizuki had shared with her the other day. Alright so they lifted their foot like that and raised their arm to the right. That is followed by a small jump forward and then…

“Minori? Minori?”

They were saying Minori as well? 

“Minori?”

The girl opened her eyes to find a girl with brownish blond hair that were tied in long pigtails. Her glasses glinted from the afternoon sun as she waved her hands in front of the aspiring idol.

“Why were you eyes closed?” she asked, “Did you not sleep last night?”

“Ah Kohane-chan!” Minori straightened herself on her desk. “No, don't worry! I was just doing a menial rehearsal!”

Kohane furrowed her eyebrows. “A menial rehearsal?”

“Mhm!” Minori hummed. “I was watching a DVD of an idol and the singing and dancing is something that I want to try out. I’ve been thinking about using it for my upcoming audition!”

“E-eh? What?” Kohane blinked. 

“So!” Minori held up her hands to help the girl visualize it. “I broke down the routine in my head and try to figure out how I can do it.” 

“...so you don’t actually sing and dance?”

“Ahah…” Minori lowered her hands to drum against the desk. “I don’t want to bother my neighbors so I would just imagine how it would play out in my head.”

A light bulb seemed to have lit up in Kohane’s head. “Ohhhhh did you mean mental rehearsals?”

Mental rehearsals?

“Uh yeah didn’t I say ‘mental rehearsal?’” Minori asked.

Kohane tugged on her pigtail. “Ahaha no you said ‘menial rehearsals.’”

Oh. Minori felt a blush creep up her face from embarrassment. Maybe she didn’t sleep last night after all. “Ahaha right my bad,” she laughed nervously.

The pigtailed girl giggled along with her. “It’s okay, Minori-chan. I think it’s incredible how even in school, you’re always working on improving yourself as an idol.”

If only it paid off.

Minori blinked and she gripped the sides of her desk. What was that?

Kohane tilted her head at Minori’s lack of response. “Minori-chan?”

“Ah it’s nothing really!” The girl abruptly stood up from her seat. “It’s the least I can do as an aspiring idol to get better!”

Kohane stumbled backward from Minori’s sudden movement. “Oh but still, it’s amazing that you can do something like that so casually.” She shuffled on her feet awkwardly. “For me, I would’ve been exhausted.”

“Don’t worry, Kohane-chan! You’ll be able to do it too with experience!” Minori looked over to find Shiho listening to something on her phone. Her fingers were gently tapping against the desk in a rhythmic pattern. “Shiho-chan is pretty experienced with music, right? She always seems deep in thought whenever she listens to them.”

Shiho perked up and looked over at the girls. She pulled down her earphones. “Um, can I help you?”

“Oh! Um…” Minori slowly made her way over to the gray haired girl. “I was wondering if you were doing some sort of mental rehearsal.”

“Oh.” Shiho set her phone down. “In a way, yes.”

“I knew it!” Minori hopped excitedly, “See, I’m also doing the same thing. Just what are you rehearsing exactly?”

Shiho started to blush. “Just some dances and stuff…”

“Dance?” Kohane tilted her head. “I didn’t know you dance, Shiho-chan.”

“It’s… a new development,” Shiho muttered, “But I don’t think I can do this mental rehearsal thing properly. I keep focusing on the instrumentals.”

“Oh? Why is that?” Minori asked.

“I play the bass as a hobby. I will usually listen to band albums to try to figure out their techniques.”

“Woah, I haven’t listened to band music that much,” Kohane said, “Can you give us some recommendations?”

Shiho shrugged and a small smile started to grow on her lips. “I don’t see why not. I think I can find a song that you might like”

“Okay!” Kohane started to giggle.

Shiho’s face started to flush again. “W-why are you laughing?”

“Well, I’m surprised that you’re talking to us so cheerfully. You would usually give off this cold vibe.”

“Yeah! This is the first time I’ve seen you smile,” Minori added.

Shiho’s blush deepened. “H-hey, I do smile, you know.”

“Hehe yep! You sure do!” Minori giggled. 

Shiho sighed and started to stand up from her desk. “Well lunch period is almost over. I’m going to use the bathroom before class starts.”

“Oh good idea!” Minori said, “I’ll go with you.”

Shiho looked over at her. “A-alright.”

---

Minori shook her hands dry under the sink and looked over at the stalls. Shiho had already left the bathroom without her. The brunette walked out of the bathroom and made her way to her class. She let out a breath and twiddled with her thumbs. Her mind wandered back to that idol video again. Just how did they move their arms to complete that move? Or was it the legs that completes it. She has to find out before her audition tomorrow. Minori furrowed her eyebrows.

Just how long does she have to do this?

Her forehead bumped into a student’s chest. 

The brunette staggered back. “A-ack! I’m sorry-” Minori looked up to find Honami standing in front of her. The taller girl was staring at her with wide eyes. This was the first time that the girls have bumped into each other at school.

Minori straightened herself with a large smile. “Ah! Ho-”

Honami spun around and ran away.

“Huh!? W-wait!!” Minori was going to run after her but the girl disappeared in the crowd of students.

Chapter Text

Honami did not know how long she was running for. She desperately squeezed past the other students until she was sure that she was out of Minori’s sight. She knew that she would end up bumping into the girl sooner or later but it still did not prepare her for when it actually happened.

Suddenly, something caught her eye that made her stop in her tracks. 

Across the hallway was Shiho and Ichika speaking to each other. And there was another girl accompanying them. She had blond hair that faded into pink. The locks were tied into curly pigtails.

“No way, is that you, Saki-chan?” Honami breathed.

Saki looked over in the direction of Honami’s voice and her face lit up. “Hona-chan!! It’s been forever! I just came here today!” She trotted over to the brunette in glee with Ichika shyly following behind her.

But Shiho stood still in her spot.

Honami gulped as she tried to ignore her former friend. “I didn’t know you were coming back. That’s amazing news…”

“Ehehe surprise! Are you happy to see me, Hona-chan?” Saki giggled.

Yes. Very. But those words did not escape her lips. Honami could feel Ichika silently gazing at her and it brought her back into reality. No. She can’t go back again. She doesn’t want to feel the same pain again. “I-I uhm,” she stammered, “I will see you later then.”

Shiho crossed her arms as she watched the exchange. “Lunch is about to end and my lesson is in a different classroom so I have to go too,” she said. She then walked away just like how she did back in junior high.

“A-ah! Shiho-chan!” Saki called. But the girl was too far away to hear her. The blond turned back to Honami a bit confused. “What’s the big rush? I was hoping to ask you guys if we could hang out together later after school.”

“U-um…” Honami said, “I… already promised my friends that I would help them study. I’m sorry.” She started to walk away. “It was good to see you, Saki-chan. Take care.”

“Honami…” she could hear Ichika whisper as she walked by her. 

Honami put up a front that she paid no mind and kept herself facing forward. She could feel the stares of her former childhood friends on her.

When she turned a corner, she was met face to face with her two classmates.

“Mochizuki-san, you’ve been talking to them for a while. Do you know them?” one of them named Renho asked. 

“A-ah,” Honami staggered back in shock. “Y-yeah. We used to go to the same school.”

“The blond one just recently transferred here, didn’t she?” Ume said, “I’ve heard that she hadn’t been present much in middle school.”

“Well, she had to sort out some issues…” Honami murmured.

“Oh. I see. It’s nice of her to remember you and say ‘hi’,” Renho said.

This isn't turning out what Honami expected. Could things… actually be different this time? Honami let out a small smile. This conversation was surprisingly pleasant… “Yeah. She’s known to be a cheerful girl.”

“Unlike that other girl. She was so cold just then,” Ume shivered.

Oh.

“Ah! You’re talking about the short haired one? Hinomori was it?” Renho asked.

Ume crossed her arms. “Yeah. I mean, what was that? A lot of people mentioned how aggressive and unapproachable she was back in junior high. It looks like that hasn’t changed.”

"Seriously? What even made her act like that? It's not like the whole world is out to get her."

"Yeah, that girl needs to calm down a bit. Just listening to the tone of her voice gives me shivers down my spine. I swear that she's more aggressive than the rumors make it out to be"

“Well luckily she doesn’t carry around that guitar everywhere anymore. I heard that she was absolutely ruthless when it came to playing music,” Renho added.

Honami clenched her chest. “She plays the bass guitar…”

Ume perked up. “Huh? You can tell?”

Honami blinked and staggered once she realized that she said that out loud. “I uh-! I heard someone talking about it back in junior high…!”

“Oh. Okay,” Renho said. “Well it doesn’t really matter what instrument she plays. Nonetheless, the band kids would always complain that she is too all mighty and looks down on the other kids. Talk about rough…”

“Yeah,” Ume nodded, “The other day, I was being all friendly and said ‘hi’ to her but all she did was give me a cold stare and walked saying, 'Sorry, but I'm not interested.' I wasn't even gonna ask for a favor or offer anything!! I just wanted to give her a simple greeting! Rude much??”

Honami couldn’t bear to listen any more of this. Her hand rested against the wall to keep her shaky legs steady. 

“She’s just so hostile!” Ume complained, “Ugh it’s probably for the best that we don't associate ourselves with her. She’s nothing but-”

“A-ah! I just remembered that there is a nice book store that we can visit to study later!” Honami suddenly interjected.

Ume and Renho blinked at Honami’s sudden outburst.

“Ahaha…” Honami continued, “I read some blogs on it online. They offer a nice comfort area to relax during study breaks…”

The two classmates turned to look at each other. “Uh okay? We can check it out after school,” Renho finally said.

“Yeah, I’m cool with it,” Ume nodded.

“Ah! Speaking of studying, there is this one formula I’m having trouble with…”

Honami let out a breath as the two girls drifted towards a different topic in their conversation. But she still couldn’t get her heart rate to slow down. 

It wasn’t long for the bell to ring, alerting the students that their lunch period was over.

“Agh! Why are you even talking about math right now? Wait until after school when we study! My brain!” Ume whined.

“Sorry, sorry! It’s just been eating my mind lately.” Renho laughed as they walked towards their classroom. But she stopped halfway and turned around to find Honami still standing there lost in thought. “Mochizuki-san?”

Honami flinched and ran up to catch up to the girls. “A-ah! S-sorry! I must’ve spaced out.”

Ume furrowed her eyebrows, “Mochizuki-san, are you alright? You seem shakened by something.”

The brunette waved her hands to dismiss it. “I-I’m fine!! Just a bit tired… that’s all…”

Renho put a hand on Honami’s shoulder which made the girl stiffen. “Well, we’re here to lend you an ear if something is bothering you…”

Honami fidgeted with her fingers. “R-right… I’ll keep that in mind”

---

“You’re a lifesaver, Mochizuki-san! I finally started to get it!” Renho exclaimed as they left the bookstore. The sun had already started to set.

“And this bookstore is just awesome! I would’ve fallen asleep overnight in that comfort room if you weren’t there to wake me up,” Ume laughed, “If the teacher jumps from the bushes right now with a pop quiz, I’m sure I’ll ace it!”

“In the bushes? She couldn’t wait that long to torture us, huh?” Renho giggled.

“Of course!! She’s just relentless!”

“Ahaha…” Honami chuckled awkwardly, “I didn’t do anything special…”

“Ehhh??? Come on, Mochizuki-san! I bet I would be dead in that class if it wasn’t for you.” Ume reached out to stretch her arms. “How about we make this a daily routine? This was fun!”

Renho grinned. “Sure. That sounds great. What about you, Mochizuki-san?”

Honami clenched her bag. “E-everyday? I don’t know. I have a part-time job I need to get to on Thursdays and…” Her words drifted off as her eyes caught something from a distance.

Across the street, Ichika and Saki were walking out of a store carrying bubble tea. The blond was happily waving it around and eventually held it out towards her childhood friend. The girl in question blinked for a moment and then finally seemed to get the memo. She shyly held up her drink and Saki clinked it in delight before enjoying her drink. Ichika was about to take a sip of hers as well but Saki grabbed her hand and stole a taste of it. Ichika staggered back before the blond could take anymore and gave her a light chuckle.

Honami’s view was soon blocked by a hand waving across her face.

“Hello?? Earth to Mochizuki-san?” Ume called, “You in there?”

Honami stumbled back to her senses and her classmates were looking at her worriedly.

“Mochizuki-san?” Renho said, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I-I…” Honami stammered. Her eyes darted back across the street but the two figures were already gone. “I-I need to go!! I’ll see you at school tomorrow!!”

“Huh? Ah, wait!!” Ume called. 

But the brunette had already disappeared, leaving the pair dumbfounded.

“What is up with her today…?”

---

Honami’s mom looked up with a smile as Honami entered the doorway. “Hi, Honami! How was school today?”

Honami walked past her without a word as her bag dragged on the floor behind her. Her mom watched her as she headed straight towards her bedroom. “The same as middle school, huh?” she whispered.

---

“Oneechan!” Honami’s little brother called as the girl’s hand was on the doorknob to her room. He ran up to his sister and crossed his arms. “Have you've been taking shorter walks with Shibao, lately? He's been so antsy for the past few days!”

Honami looked tiredly at the small boy before ruffling his hair. “That's great, Haru-kun. I'll talk to you later. I’m just really tired right now.”

The boy faltered. "Huh-? That's not what I-"

Before Haru could finish his sentence, Honami walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she took it out to check it.

A nightcord notification. 

Honami was about to open the app but her finger hesitated before touching the screen. The incident with Minori in the hallway was still fresh on her mind. And Ichika, Saki, and Shiho…

Honami let her hand drop to her side.

Her phone started to blow up with nightcord messages. It looks like everybody is online. Honami watched as one notification popped up after the other. But her hand made no effort to open them. 

Finally, she reached her hand out but only to turn off her phone and toss it on her bed.

She should help her mom with dinner tonight.

Chapter Text

Mizuki blew on her fries as she lined up the lace on her dress. Mizuki couldn’t think about a better combo. Enjoying her favorite food while working on her favorite hobby was like heaven to her. A cafe that allowed their customers to use their sewing machines for free was one of the best things that Mizuki had ever discovered. She had always found herself becoming a regular the very minute she stepped into the cafe.

It was even far away enough from school so she doesn’t have to worry about bumping into her classmates.

Mizuki hummed as she popped some fries in her mouth. Come to think of it, Honami also enjoys these types of things. Mizuki and the brunette would spend hours on nightcord exchanging tips in sewing as well as gushing about some designs they found on some online blogs and start figuring out how to incorporate it into their own works. Maybe the next time Mizuki visits this cafe, she can invite Honami along. 

The girl let out a satisfied huff. Nice job, Mizuki! Another great idea for another offline meeting. Mizuki grinned. She’s so glad to find a friend group where she can do stuff like this. They’re all so accepting of each other and it’s so fun to listen to their interests.

Someone tapped on Mizuki’s shoulder and she turned around to find a waitress standing above her. 

“Hello, ma’am. I’m just here to let you know that the cafe will be closing in a few minutes,” the waitress said.

Mizuki blinked and took a look outside the window. The sun was almost gone from the horizon. She immediately jumped up and started to pack up her things. “A-ah! Sorry! I’ll be out in a jiffy!”

Mizuki threw her bag over her shoulder and stepped out of the cafe. 

“Please, come again!” she heard the waitress call behind her.

Mizuki looked up at the sky and took in a breath of the city air. The other should be done with their usual school activities. 

Hah… it’s amazing how on top her online friends are with their school work. Especially with Honami. 

Maybe she should start learning from them and go to school more often as well. Who knows? She can bump into Nene there.

Ah wait, nevermind. She remembered Nene complaining about a test coming up last night. She should go to school some other time.

Mizuki pulled up her phone and scrolled through her gallery. She selected a progress picture that she took back at the cafe and sent it through nightcord.

Amia: Working on a new skirt~

Immediately everybody joined the group chat and Mizuki was met with messages of praise. Nene sent a thumbs up sticker while Minori was gushing at the details. Well, everybody was online except Honami.

Mizuki frowned. Out of everybody, Honami was the one she wanted to hear her input on. Honami was always quick to offer her insights into Mizuki’s work and always noted the little details that she liked about it. This is the first time that it didn’t happen.

Maybe she was busy…?

Mizuki spent the way home on nightcord to chat. Although it was pleasant like always, Honami never came online once.

---

Pomelo: Tsuki has been gone for over a week, has she?

Mizuki’s feet swung back and forth as she laid on her bed. She scrolled through the nightcord chat. It showed a back and forth between Minorinrin, Pomelo, and Amia’s profile pics but a profile pic with a Shiba Inu had not shown up. Tsuki’s profile pic. Mizuki furrowed her eyebrows.

Amia: I haven’t heard from her. Is she busy with something?

Amia: Minorinrin, you go to the same school as Tsuki, right? Have you seen her at school?

Minorinrin immediately popped into the chat at the mention of her name.

Minorinrin: I have!! But it seems like she pretends not to notice me whenever I say ‘hi’...

Honami? Ignoring Minori? That doesn’t seem like her… After all, she was the first one to offer her ear to Minori when the aspiring idol found out that ASRUN was disbanding.

Minorinrin: We were fine whenever we walked our dogs together.

Minorinrin: But then last week, I bumped into her in the hallway for the first time. I was about to say ‘hi’ but she quickly turned around and ran away.

Pomelo: Maybe she just feels awkward at school? That sounds like something I would do.

Minorinrin: That’s what I thought too!

Minorinrin: But then I would see her chatting happily with her friends. And then she stopped messaging me after we bumped into each other.

Minorinrin: I can’t help but think that I did something wrong…

Mizuki sat up on her bed with her phone gripped in her hand. This troubling atmosphere…

Amia: Nah nah! It can’t be! All you did was bump into her right? It’s probably just a coincidence!

Minorinrin’s typing status kept switching on and off. Minori… she hasn’t been this troubled since ASRUN’s disbandment… this must really be affecting her…

Pomelo: I definitely don’t think it’s your fault, Minorinrin. I sent Tsuki a link to a movie trailer that I’ve been excited for but she hadn’t responded…

Pomelo: I don’t even think that she even looked at it…

Pomelo: I’ve been drafting so many messages to try to start a conversation but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to press send on any of them.

Pomelo: I’ve really thought I had changed that…

It seems like the darkened atmosphere is starting to affect Pomelo as well. Mizuki fiddled with the phone in her hand. What should she do? This isn’t what this chat room is supposed to be.

Amia: Well it’s no use to just mope around!

Amia: Iif Tsuki doesn’t want to chat with us at nightcord or during school, maybe we can meet up somewhere else so we can figure out what was going on!

There was silence in the group chat. Not even the typing statuses were on. Mizuki’s foot tapped restlessly against the bed frame. This isn’t good. She didn’t make this chat room just to have her friends feel this way. Mizuki had friends come and go in her life but for some reason, Tsuki’s absence just didn’t feel right to her.

Finally, Pomelo’s typing status popped up on the screen.

Pomelo: Alright… but how can we arrange a meet up if Tsuki isn’t looking at our texts?>

Ahah right… Mizuki hadn’t thought of that.

Minorinrin: Actually, I think I have an idea!

Minorinrin: Tsuki and I have shared our routes whenever we walk our dogs.

Minorinrin: She walks Shibao in the morning during the weekends! If we follow her route, maybe we can catch her then!

Mizuki wished that she could just reach through the screen and give Minorinrin a big hug. Maybe hope isn’t lost after all!

Amia: Alright!! Looks like we have a plan going on!

Amia: Do you think we can make some time Saturday morning so we can find Tsuki?

Immediately, Minorinrin and Pomelo responded

Minorinrin: I’ll be free!

Pomelo: I’m free.

A sigh of relief escaped from the pink haired girl. 

Amia: It’s official then. Project “Find out what’s up with Tsuki” is a go!!

Pomelo: Do you have to name every offline meetup we go to?

Mizuki laughed at Pomelo’s quick comment. The troubling atmosphere from earlier started to dissolve away. 

Amia: Minorinrin, where’s the best place to meet up?

Minorinrin: I’m on it! Just give me a moment!

Mizuki collapsed back onto her bed as the feeling of relief washed over her. 

Yeah. This will all be resolved soon.

Once she can figure out what is bothering Tsuki, they can work it out together and the group chat will be back to normal. It wouldn’t be long for the chat to be filled with laughter again.

That’s why she created it after all.

Chapter Text

Nene’s chopsticks picked at her bento as she stared at her phone screen.

It was opened to nightcord where it showed her dms between Pomelo and Tsuki. The message at the very bottom was just a link to a certain movie trailer.

Tsuki still hasn’t responded. 

Nene clenched her chopsticks. Minori said that she had seen Honami chatting happily with her classmates despite her absence in nightcord so she is fine but why…? Nene clamped her eyes tight to calm herself down. It’s fine. She’ll figure it out with the rest of the group tomorrow.

But the quiet whispers did not leave her.

Nene shot her eyes open to close out of the nightcord app and open up a video of a play. She needs to keep her mind off things.

Nene leaned over and rested her arms on her desk as she watched the musical play on her phone. Despite not being able to watch musicals in person, watching them through a screen was okay for her.

…

Their singing… is really captivating…

What type of vocal training did they do? Nene wonders how she could…

The girl immediately shook the thought out of her head. Just what is she doing!? She made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t- Nene gritted her teeth. Just enjoy the musical. Like a normal consumer. 

But still… Nene held her hand over her throat. When was the last time she used it?

And… why does it feel like somebody is staring at her…?

Nene turned around and nearly fell off her desk when she found a tall blue haired boy behind her. 

“A-ack!” she yelped.

The boy blinked and looked down at her. Just how long had he been standing there!?

“Um…” the boy leaned down which made Nene flinch. He pointed at her phone. “What are you watching?”

T-that guy has the ability to talk!!?? Nene has the same class as him but he would always keep his head on his desk. Nene was pretty sure that she had never even heard his voice before. 

“I-it’s a musical…” she finally mustered.

“...” 

Was the voice thing a one time thing…?

“I see,” he said.

Nevermind. Nene cleared her throat and tried to focus on the musical again. But the boy’s presence was just radiating on her. Ugh… she can’t focus. Nene slowly scooted away from him.

Behind her, she heard a grunt and the boy leaned closer over her shoulder. Should she just jump desks…?

“U-uhm…” she stammered, “D-do you like it…?”

The boy nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah. I like the music.”

“O-okay…”

Nene thought that was the end of it but the boy leaned closer and held his chin, deep in thought. “I see… their movement is interesting. They’re very expressive but can still sing clearly. That must take a lot of stamina…”

Just what is this guy going on about!?

“How do they balance that out? How much of their time is focusing on vocal training as well as cardio exercises?”

Nene trembled as she clenched her phone. Stop it…

“And to be able to coordinate with the other members so smoothly as well… So it’s not just about vocals and stamina, but also precision. Amazing.”

Stop.

“Yes…” he muttered, “I should ask Tsukasa-senpai for some advice. I want to be able to improve on our dances…”

“THAT’S IT!!” Nene yelled.

The boy’s eyes widened and staggered back, seemingly forgetting that she was there. “H-huh!?”

Nene ripped out a sheet of paper from her notebook and scribbled on it before shoving it onto the boy’s chest.

He caught it before it fell to the ground. He peered up at her, perplexed. “Why-? Do you want me to recycle this for you?” He looked down at the crinkled paper. “Oh wait, there’s a note on it.”

Nene grumbled and turned around back to her phone. “It’s the name of the musical we were watching. You’re making me uncomfortable. Go search for it and watch it yourself.”

The boy blinked and unfolded the paper. “Oh alright. Thank you.”

“Oi! Touya! I’ve been looking all over for you!” an orange haired boy called from the window.

The boy looked up and nodded. “Oh, Akito. I’m coming.”

Nene peeked over and watched him leave the classroom.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Touya said. 

“It’s no problem…” the orange haired boy, Akito, sighed, “Though, Tsukasa-senpai is being a big pain looking for you. You can practically hear his voice a few hallways down.”

“I see… I didn’t mean to make him worry…”

“I know you don’t.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Anyway, we should go meet up with them now so he can stop bothering people.”

Touya laughed, “Right.”

Akito looked down at his hand. “What’s with that piece of paper in your hand? Is that trash?”

Touya shook his head. “It’s not. So you see…”

Nene turned back to her phone. She didn’t know why she bothered to listen in the first place. They’re just having a normal conversation like any other. She sighed and hovered her finger over the pause button to continue watching the musical.

But she couldn’t bring herself to press it. 

Touya’s little observations from earlier were ringing in her mind. Nene furrowed her eyebrows in frustration. Can’t she just watch a playing without thinking about all the technicalities anymore!? Why can’t she just let it go already!? 

And that disaster of an encounter from earlier… Interacting with people online is so much easier. 

Nene clicked onto nightcord again where she was met with the abandoned dms of her with Tsuki. Still no response. At least… Nene thought online interactions was easier…

She turned off her phone and clamped it on her desk with the screen down. She then buried her hands in her arms and let out a groan.

Her phone buzzed. She hesitantly looked up and lifted her phone slightly.

A text message from Rui?

---

“Nene!” Mizuki called as she waved her hands in the air. “Over here!!”

Nene rushed over to find Mizuki already with Minori in the park. Despite agreeing on the time, the three of the girls arrived way earlier than planned.

“Alright, the gang’s all here,” Mizuki said with a grin, “Minori, lead the way!”

“Aye aye!” Minori hopped as she pointed at the path in front of them. “Just follow me!!”

---

Nene didn’t know how long they'd been walking for but it felt like hours. She could practically feel her legs falling off. As she trudged behind the two other girls, she silently cursed to herself for staying in her room all day, occupying herself in video games. 

Minori turned around to find the pitiful sight behind her. “Ah! Nene-chan! Are you alright?”

Nene didn’t need to answer as she tripped over a pebble. 

Minori swiftly ran over and caught her before her face could touch the ground. 

“A-ah…” Nene stammered, “Thank you…”

“Mhm!” Minori hummed. She slung Nene’s arm over her shoulder. “I’ll help you for the rest of the way.”

“O-oh… thank you…” If only Nene could have a fraction of that girl’s energy.

The group went back to their usual silence, looking around to try to find a certain tall brunette walking a shiba inu. The longer they’ve been doing this, the larger the uneasy feeling in Nene’s stomach continues to grow. It was practically engulfing her.

“U-uhm…” Nene finally said. The girls turned around to look at her. She stiffened at the sudden attention. “Is it really alright to find Mochizuki-san? I mean, she hadn’t been contacting us for a reason right? What if we’re bothering her…”

Mizuki, who was walking in front of Minori and Nene, stopped but she didn’t turn around. “Sometimes, people who need help can’t ask for it. I just want to make sure that Honami-chan is okay. If she is having trouble, then I want to do everything I can to help her. I made this friend group to be a safe space after all.”

Well, Mizuki was right about that. Nene couldn’t deny it. Even though they aren’t behind a screen, being with this group felt assuring to her. Even Minori’s arm that is over her shoulder isn’t making her shrink away. It was for the first time in a while, comforting to Nene.

That is until Minori suddenly jumped and accidentally bumped her face.

“I see Honami-chan over there!” Minori exclaimed. 

The other two girls froze and turned their heads over to where Minori was looking. There, they found the back of a tall brunette girl walking a shiba inu in front of them. 

Mizuki bolted towards her with the other two girls trailing behind. “Honami-chan!!” she yelled.

The girl in question stiffened. She turned around and Mizuki was waving at her happily in greeting.

“Hi! Honami-chan!!” Mizuki called with a grin, “Long time no see!”

But Honami just stared at her and didn’t wave back.

Chapter Text

“A-Akiyama-san…!?” Honami stuttered as she took a step back, “What are you doing here?”

“Honami-chan!” Minori called, “We’ve been looking all over for you!”

Shibao perked up at Minori’s voice. He quickly trotted over to her, pulling Honami along with him. The brunette’s eyes widened in what seemed to be fear. “S-Shibao!!”

Mizuki frowned at the sight. “Honami, is everything okay?”

The girl stiffened. She fidgeted with the leash in her hand and looked away. “I’m fine…” she muttered. She raised her head and glanced at the other two girls behind Mizuki. “Are you guys having an offline meeting?”

“Well, it’s an unofficial meeting. We were looking for you, you know,” Minori said.

Was Honami grimacing slightly at Minori’s words?

Mizuki took a cautious step forward and the brunette tensed up again. “Honami-chan?”

“I… why did you come find me?”

Mizuki turned around and found that Minori and Nene were also starting to feel uneasy on the surprisingly tense atmosphere as well. “You weren’t on nightcord for over a week. We were starting to get worried about you.”

“You were-” Honami clamped her mouth shut and began to tug on Shibao’s leash. “Nevermind. I gotta get going.”

She beckoned her dog to leave but the shiba inu was too occupied rolling around in front of Minori, begging her to give him some belly rubs. The aspiring idol crouched down and began scratching him behind the ears. His owner was left defeated, watching her dog as he pants excitedly, unaware of Honami’s discomfort. 

“Um… Mochizuki-san. Are you sure you’re alright?” Nene weakly muttered, “You’re acting a bit strange. Are you sick?”

Honami winced again. “I told you. I’m fine. Shibao, here.” She pulled on the leash. This time, the dog got up and trotted to his owner’s side. 

Minori slowly stood up, not bothering to dust off her knees. “Honami-chan…”

“Please… go away…”

Nene fidgeted with her hands. “Huh?”

Honami took a step back, gripping onto Shibao’s leash tightly. “Just leave me be…”

“Leave you be?” Minori hesitantly repeated. “Honami-chan, what do you mean by that!?”

“Do you not like us anymore?” Nene asked. Honami didn’t say a word in response and the gamer started to tremble. “W-why aren’t you denying it…?”

Mizuki quickly waved her hands to dismiss the thought. “Nene! That’s probably not what she means! She probably just needs some time to herself! Right, Honami-chan?”

The girl gripped her arm and refused to look at them. “Leave me alone…”

“Ay. You gotta be more clear. Do you want us to give you a few more days to yourself or?”

“Not just a few days…” 

“Okay… that is not ideal but we can make it work! So you meant a few weeks?”

Mizuki didn’t receive a response from the taller girl and the small smile she had tried to keep up died off. “Not just a few weeks either, huh?”

Honami was still silent. It seemed like she wanted to say something but she clenched her jaw and looked away.

“Do you want us to leave you alone forever?” 

The brunette flinched and Mizuki and Minori whipped their heads back to gape at Nene.

“Not denying it again…” Nene whispered. Mizuki could feel a ball drop in her stomach.

“I’m sorry…” Honami mumbled, hanging her head low. 

Minori quickly shook her head. “W-why so suddenly?? We were chatting so happily before!” Her arms hung on her side. “What happened…?”

Honami refused to answer again and she clenched her sleeve so tightly that it looked like it might rip anytime soon. 

“Honami-chan…” Mizuki started to say. Her mind raced to try to find the right words to say. But she could feel the world start to crumble around her. “There’s no need to be so reserved around us. This group we’ve created was so we could be ourselves, after all.”

“Right!” Minori nodded eagerly, “If Honami-chan is having trouble, then we would do our best to help you!”

“I just didn’t think that it would go this far…” Honami murmured.

Mizuki stopped. “What?”

“I just didn’t expect that I would get so close with all of you!” Honami cried. She raised her head and revealed tears flowing from her eyes. The sight made all the girls stagger back.

“Honami-chan?” Mizuki heard herself saying.

“This was an online group after all,” Honami continued, “Another world I could escape to. Like you said, a place where I could feel like I could be myself.” She buried her face in her hands. “It gave me a screen I could hide behind, where the only thing attached to me would be the username of Tsuki.”

This time, it was the other girls’ turn to stay silent as they listened to Honami talk.

“But then we started doing offline meetings… I felt uneasy about it at first but it was surprisingly fun. The most fun I’ve ever had in a while,” Honami sobbed, “But… Hanasato-san also goes to Miyajo. I tried to convince myself that it’s going to be fine and we could just talk online. But when Hanasato-san reached out to me at school, it just brought me back to reality.”

Minori stiffened beside Mizuki.

I can’t help but think that I did something wrong…

Honami didn’t seem to notice it though as she wasn’t keeping eye contact with the girls anymore. “Now I realized that everything about Tsuki is connected to me in real life. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”

She turned her heels to walk away but Minori anxiously reached out her hand to try to stop her. “Then all I have to do is to stop trying to talk to you at school right? I won’t! I promise!” She clenched her hand into a fist. “As long as we can talk online again…”

Honami paused. “It’s too late for that…”

“...What?”

“It really was a pleasure to chat with you all but this is for the better.” Shibao howled softly by her feet. Mizuki had almost forgot that he was there in the first place. “A-and Saki-chan is coming to school again as well. Everything just hurts and I don’t want to feel that anymore. I really need to… disappear…”

Disappear. Mizuki’s heart dropped. Did she hear that correctly?

Minori took a step back. “You want to what…?”

Mizuki let out a small laugh. “Come on, let’s talk about this. That doesn’t sound like you, Honami-chan.”

“This… doesn’t sound like me? You don’t know that. How does anybody know that?” Honami turned back at the girls with a painful stare on her face. “In fact, I don’t think you or Hanasato-san had been sounding like yourselves at all as well. Nobody in this group is as free as you think they are, Akiyama-san.”

Those words felt like needles down Mizuki’s spine. Nene and Minori were just as shocked. “What do you mean by that…?”

“Not only you, Amia. But Minorinrin and Pomelo want to disappear as much as me.”

It was like an ocean crashed over them. Honami needed to elaborate. Mizuki needed Honami to elaborate.

Mizuki could only reply, nervously laughing again. “What’s gotten into you, Honami-chan? Me? Wanting to disappear? I love my life, so why would I, or any of us, ever think about something like that?”

“The slight hesitations, the looks of discomfort, all of you have that whenever we all go out together. I just can’t help but notice it. And… I think you’ve noticed it too, Akiyama-san,” Honami whispered, “You and Hanasato-san have always put on a cheerful front. Kusanagi-san doesn’t do it as much but we’re all hurting the same.”

Mizuki’s smile dropped. “Oh really?”

Shibao started to whimper and began tugging on his leash. Honami blinked and looked down. It seems like she had forgotten about him as well. “It’s getting late. I should get going.”

“H-hey!” Minori squeaked, “Is that really it? You’re leaving us for good?”

This time, Honami did not stop for her again. “Please… don’t try to follow me or contact me again.”

And after she said that, the girls watched as Honami trudge away. They stood there until the girl disappeared into the horizon.

Chapter Text

“So what are we going to do now?”

Nene’s words were the first thing anybody of the now deteriorated friend group had to say.

“I really don’t know…” Minori said. Her voice was barely a whisper that is almost drowned in the cold air.

Mizuki couldn’t keep her eyes off the horizon that her friend had disappeared to. Or at least, Mizuki had thought that Honami was her friend.

Honami was the first stepping stone that made Mizuki want to start the group in the first place. To have her leave…

Mizuki gripped chest. This group chat was so everybody could be themselves. To support each other’s interests and hobbies as well as having fun together. She was happy. Everybody was happy. But…

“Nobody in this group is as free as you think they are, Akiyama-san.”

At first Mizuki wanted to deny it but there was this small itching feeling that Honami wasn’t wrong. And… being in the group made the brunette feel worse.

Just what happened for everything to go wrong?

It was just a few weeks ago when Honami was happily laughing with everybody when the group decided to go for karaoke that one time. Was she hurting at that time as well?

“Not only you, Amia. But Minorinrin and Pomelo want to disappear as much as me.”

“...we’re all hurting the same.”

Were any of them actually hurting at that time?

Mizuki finally tore her eyes off the horizon to look at the two girls before her. Their facial expressions darkened the atmosphere.

“So Mochizuki-san really started to hate us after all,” Nene muttered.

Mizuki automatically waved her hands to dismiss that thought. “W-well we don’t exactly know that!!”

Nene didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. Everybody could tell that Mizuki’s words were meaningless. Even Minori was silent.

Honami is not coming back.

“This group chat was a bust, huh?” Mizuki sighed and let her hands drop to her side. “I made this group so we could be transparent with one another. But if Honami had to hide that she had been suffering this whole time, then it really didn’t do its purpose, did it?”

“No no! That’s not true, Mizuki-chan!” Minori insisted, “I really was happy whenever we were together!”

“Hanasato-san is right! I find it so much easier to talk with you than anybody else.” Nene added.

Mizuki blinked. “Y-you really think so?”

The two girls nodded and the pink girl started to smile. But it quickly dropped. She couldn’t describe it but there was an uneasy aura that the girls had possessed. 

Is that what Honami was talking about?”

Mizuki shook her head. “With what had happened today, we should all go home and sleep this through. Maybe we can talk to Honami-chan again tomorrow.”

Nene frowned, “But Mochizuki-san clearly said that she doesn’t want to talk to us anymore. It would be rude to go against her wishes.”

“Well we did catch Honami off guard today and she was probably surprised. She just needs a bit more time to think,” Mizuki said.

Or at least, Mizuki hopes so.

---

Kohane peeked through the classroom window and excitedly poked Minori’s shoulder. “Looks like Shiho-chan is in the classroom already, Minori-chan!”

Minori didn’t respond. She was looking across the highway with a distant look on her face. Kohane blinked. “Minori-chan?”

Minori flinched and turned towards Kohane. “A-ah! Kohane-chan!”

Kohane tilted her head at the girl. “Are you okay?”

Minori quickly nodded. “Y-yep! Let’s go and talk to Shiho-chan!”

She marched towards the classroom and slid open the door. 

Shiho was listening to music through her headphones again and Kohane tapped her on the shoulder. “Shiho-chan!”

A sigh escaped the girl and she rubbed her eyes as she looked up. “Oh, Azusawa-san. Hanasato-san.”

“Hm? Did you get enough sleep last night? You seem tired.” Minori said.

“Oh… I’m just sore from practicing too much yesterday. Nothing to worry about.” Shiho took off her headphones. 

“Really? Were you practicing with your bass?” Kohane asked.

Shiho stiffened. She pushed back her bangs and shook her head. “No. Like I said, I’m just playing the bass as a hobby now. I was just doing cardio routines and vocal exercises.”

Minori stared at her. Cardio routines? Vocal exercises? Shiho was also studying dances the other day. Minori grabbed her sleeve and started to fidget with it. “Really? You must’ve trained a lot for you to be exhausted like that.”

Shiho’s eyes looked off to the side. “Well…”

She toyed with her headphones. “Honestly, everything was just happening so fast. But with how things are going, I might have to transfer to the credits-based classes next semester.”

That news left Kohane and Minori in complete shock.

“Huh!? All of a sudden?” Kohane exclaimed.

Shiho blushed and turned off her phone. “I’m going to debut with an idol group soon and will be very busy.”

Kohane immediately beamed at Shiho's words. “You're gonna be an idol!? That's amazing!”

“It's only a trial run but thank you.” Shiho said with a sheepish smile. She then tilted her head to look at Minori. “You’re planning to debut as an idol too, right? Maybe we’ll be able to practice with each other one day.”

Minori felt her throat start to clog. “W-what made you decide to become an idol all of a sudden?”

Shiho blinked. “To be honest, I didn’t know I was going to be an idol a few weeks ago. But Oneesan was eager to try out to be an idol alongside me and formed a group with two other girls.” She looked down. “I wasn’t going anywhere with my bass playing so it wouldn’t hurt to try it out for a year. Everybody in my group are such hard workers and it’s pretty fun to practice with them.”

“All of this… was done in a few weeks?” Minori found herself saying.

“Yeah…” Shiho scratched her head. “Usually stuff like this would take a while. The agency was even unsure with me because of my inexperience but they gave me the contract once they found out that Hinomori Shizuku from Cheerful*Days is my sister.”

“That’s awesome, Shiho-chan!” Kohane clapped, “I’ll be sure to get your tickets as soon as you’re on stage!”

“Yeah…” Minori muttered, “Me too…”

Shiho smiled at them. “Thank you.”

Kohane then started asking Shiho tips for workout routines as she had started a troupe and left Minori alone in her thoughts.

Shiho didn’t have any experience in the idol industry but they picked her up because she was related to an idol?

What about Minori?

What happened to all those years of practicing that she had done ever since she was a child?

All her training?

Researching?

Is all of that nothing compared to someone who shares the same blood as an idol?

What can Minori do? Was there even a point for her efforts anymore?

Not even that but Haruka, her biggest drive to becoming an idol in the first place, quit the idol industry.

There’s an audition that Minori needs to go to tomorrow. Should she even bother going? She’s going to get that rejection email in a week anyway.

Something caught her eyes and Minori looked out the classroom window and into the hallway. Honami was laughing with her two friends as they walked to their next class. Her former friend’s eyes flickered towards her direction before quickly turning back and looking straight ahead.

The words she said yesterday echoed in Minori’s thoughts.

Honami was right. Minori does want to disappear too.

And even that wouldn't matter at all would it?

Chapter Text

Nene anxiously walked through Phoenix Wonderland’s gates. Her hands clenched in front of her chest as she scanned the bustling crowd around her. Just why does Rui want her here?

The gamer girl knew that her childhood friend had been constantly sneaking into the park and doing shows for a while now. But this is the first time that he had invited her to come watch one of them. He even paid for Nene’s ticket into the attraction. Nene frowned at her phone. His text messages didn't indicate where they should meet. From what she recalled, it’s because he has to constantly change his location to avoid the security guards. The girl sighed. Seriously… why does he even come here to do his shows anyway?

The sun’s rays were glaring against her brow and Nene was contemplating on whether she should just ditch him and head back home to play video games again. Still, she let out a huff and made her way through the crowd of kids and parents. 

She didn’t know how many steps into the park she took but the sound of the kids cheering made the girl perk her head up. She turned her head to the direction of the noise and found herself facing a stage with the kids anxiously sitting in the audience seats. As if her feet had a mind on her own, Nene walked up closer to the performance to get a better view.

On stage, there was a blue haired girl who was shielding a pink haired girl from what Nene assumed to be the purple villain of the play.

“Don’t worry!” the blue girl yelled. Her arms were sprawled out, pushing the pink girl behind her. “Once the knight comes, this witch will never lay her hands on you, princess!”

Her voice was powerful and Nene found herself absolutely captivated by the blue performer.

“Y-you called?” a timid voice squeaked. A girl with long hair and glasses popped out from behind the curtains. Her legs were trembling so much that it was a miracle that the actor was even standing.

“The knight is here!!” the kids in the audience cheered.

The performer flinched at the noise. “R-right!! You will not harm our princess!”

The girl came forward towards the purple witch but stumbled on stage and almost tripped. “A-ack! I’m sorry!”

The purple witch cackled in response and pointed her staff at the knight. “So, is this the supposed knight you were talking about,” she sneered.

The knight didn’t respond. After a while, the other cast members silently darted their eyes at each other.

Nene was left staring at the stage as the knight stood frozen. This… feels all too familiar…

The stage held an awkward pause. As if somebody was supposed to say something but missed the timing leaving the momentum of the story to die.

Nene’s legs started to shake, her blood running cold. The knight was supposed to say her lines. But she isn’t saying anything. Nene wanted to look away but she couldn’t.

Suddenly, the blue actor cleared her throat. “She… is just tired from her long run… isn’t that right, kni- Nene? ”

Nene froze. What did she say? Then, the knight wasn’t on stage anymore and instead Nene saw herself in the suit of armor.

“I-I can’t remember my lines!! What do I do!?”

Nene’s breathing started to pick up and she found herself backing away from the sight. But she ended up bumping into a wandering kid and fell onto a trash can. She was met with a loud clang and everybody, even the performers turned around and looked over at her.

All the eyes were on her again.

Nene bolted up to her feet. “I-I’m sorry!!” She spun her heels around and began sprinting out of there as fast as she could.

Far away where nobody could see her again.

Soon enough, she bumped into someone’s chest and stumbled backward. Then, she heard laughter.

“Nene, you should watch where you’re going.”

Nene looked up to find Rui in front of her. Seeing her face, the boy’s smile instantly faded away.

“Are you okay?”

The ringing in Nene’s ears didn’t stop and she couldn’t properly hear her friend. The sight of all the eyes burned in her mind. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry-

Rui gently shook her shoulders, muffling the voices. “Nene, breathe…”

The girl grabbed her hair and nodded, taking in wretched breaths. Rui dug around his bag and uncapped a water bottle to hand it to her. “Here… drink it.”

Nene shakily took the water bottle in her hands and downed it. As she did, her mind started to clear again. 

“Nene,” Rui said again, “What happened?”

“I-” Nene choked, “I came across a play while looking for you… and one of the actors started messing up her lines and-”

Nene couldn’t finish her words but Rui seemed to understand what she was going to say. “That reminded you of yourself, right?”

Nene bit her tongue and nodded.

Rui sighed and scratched his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve given you a general location of where I should be…”

The water bottle crinkled in Nene’s hands. “That’s okay… why did you even call me here in the first place.”

Rui gave her a small smile before standing up and dusting off his jacket. “I just wanted you to see my last performance here in Phoenix Wonderland.”

Nene frowned. “Huh? Why? Did the security guard catch you too many times?”

Rui chuckled. “No. I just found a group that is willing to do the dance choreography from my ideas and directing.” He looked off at the park’s thrill rides. “It’s not the exact role that I wanted but I’m happy that I was able to find a group who are willing to put my ideas into fruition.”

Nene stared at her friend’s warm smile. This is the first time that she had seen him genuinely happy…

Rui let out a breath and shook his head. “It is a shame that I hadn’t found any other actors who are willing to do my shows. We could’ve formed a troupe together with you shining on stage.”

Nene sighed at his usual comment. “You know that I’ve already told you many times that I have given up on theater.”

Rui’s expression darkened. “Are you actually serious about that?”

Nene had to clear the lump in her throat to answer. “O-of course.”

The boy looked like he wanted to say something but ultimately dropped it. Instead he started to walk off, ushering the girl to follow him. “We should move to another location before the security guards find us.” Then, he brought back his usual smile. “I’ll make sure I’ll put up the best performance for you.”

Nene was left staring at his back. There was no way that Rui didn’t know that she was lying about wanting to give up theater. Slowly, Nene brought her hand around her throat. The memory of how clogged it was that day was still crystal clear.

How can someone like her do theater? 

She wants to do it. She wants to act so bad. But she just can’t. No matter how hard she tries.

Honami’s words that day fogged up her mind. 

…Nene does want to disappear.

So nobody can look at her ever again.

Chapter Text

As much as Mizuki didn’t want to be here, she didn’t really have a choice. There she was, standing in front of Kamikou. It really was strange. Sure, she was never a fan of coming to school anyway. But in recent days, Mizuki started dreading it. 

As she walked inside Mizuki reached up to adjust the ribbon of her uniform and she felt herself relax a bit. Even though she was getting good grades it wasn’t enough with how many classes she skipped and Mizuki ends up needing to go to supplementary classes after school anyway. At least the hallways were empty so nobody was staring at her. 

As she reached for the classroom door, she heard a bunch of footsteps and a familiar voice called her name.

“Mizuki!”

Mizuki whipped her head around to find An running up to her. She stopped in front of the girl with a big grin. “It’s good to see you!”

“An!?” Mizuki said, “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” An tapped her hand against her chin. “I’ve been missing a lot of classes lately so I gotta make up for some of it.”

Mizuki’s eyes bugged out. “You? Of all people? Missing classes???”

An frowned. “Why are you so shocked? We’re in the same class so you should know. Am I that insignificant to- oh…”

Mizuki could only respond with a whistle as An stared at her in disappointment. 

“Don’t tell me you’re here for supplementary classes too.”

Mizuki laughed, “I just didn't feel like coming to school! It's so boring. Especially now that I know that you’re not there, what’s the point?” 

The playful wink Mizuki sent fell dead in front of An’s unamused face. 

“Still, not to say that I’m unhappy about taking supplementary classes with you, but why did you miss so many classes in the first place, Hall Monitor?” Mizuki asked.

An sighed and crossed her arms. It was then that Mizuki noticed how slow and tired her movements were. “I have my reasons.”

Mizuki tilted her head with a sly grin. “Ehh?? You’re avoiding the question. That just makes me more curious…”

An crinkled in eyebrows, seemingly in deep thought. Her eyes darted to the side and then she quickly grabbed Mizuki by the arm. 

“H-huh!? H-hey! An!” Mizuki yelped as An hurriedly dragged her to a secluded hallway.

“Here is a bit better…” An mumbled as she looked around.

“Ehh? I didn’t think you would be so bold, An…” Mizuki nervously chuckled.

An just looked up at Mizuki and didn’t say anything. Mizuki gulped in response. With how secretive An was being, it wasn't helping her nerves.

Finally, An opened her mouth. “The reason why I’ve been missing so many classes is that I’ve been training with my idol group. We’re going to be debuting soon…”

“...Eh?”

Mizuki blinked at her. Blinked again. And then, it clicked. “EH-!?”

An launched up and clamped Mizuki's mouth to muffle the freaked out girl. “Shhh! That’s why I brought you here in the first place!” An hissed.

Mizuki rapidly nodded and gave An the ok sign with her hand. The idol in training sighed and reluctantly let go. 

Mizuki gasped for air as words were buzzing through her head. “H-how?”

“Well…” An blushed as the flabbergasted girl gaped at her. “I just got scouted by an agency through my dad. The manager just took one look at me and my singing and begged me to join.”

An mindlessly kicked her heel against the floor. “He promised that it was going to be a temporary thing for now so I might as well give it a shot and see how it goes…”

“That’s… AMAZING!” Before An could react to Mizuki’s outburst, the girl immediately clamped her hands over her mouth and gave An a quick nod. Once she calmed down again, Mizuki slowly spoke. “Are you enjoying it so far…?”

An fiddled with her hair. “Y-yeah… the practices are fun and my group members are amazing…”

Mizuki couldn’t stop smiling. “I can’t believe it! My good friend is an idol! You already got a fan!”

An sighed from Mizuki’s excitement. “I’m not an idol just yet. Just be sure to keep it a secret for now.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Mizuki saluted. Then, a flash of green passed by the hallway and her smile immediately dropped. 

An instantly noticed and reached out to Mizuki. “Mizuki? Are you alright?”

Mizuki blinked and shook it off with a smile. “I’m fine! Just thinking that we should start heading to class! Come on! Let’s go!”

An looked like she was going to say more but ultimately dropped it. “Eh? Since when do you take initiative to go to classes first??”

---

“Nene-chan…”

“Yeah?” Nene tilted her head at Mizuki in confusion. She was fiddling with her bag, nervous from Mizuki focusing all her attention on the girl.

Honami and Minori had already went back home after the group had a celebratory dinner for their first offline meeting. Nene was about to leave as well but Mizuki had asked her to stay back for a bit. 

Mizuki really tried to enjoy their first offline meeting. After all, it was something she had been looking forward to forever. But there was something that ate at the back of her mind since the beginning of the day.

“I’m also a first-year at Kamiyama High.”

Mizuki gripped her sleeves tightly. Nene didn’t give any indication that she knew who Mizuki was but she just couldn’t help but fall into a downward spiral over it. Nene brought up in the groupchat that she doesn’t really talk much in school and would rather just play videogames alone in a classroom. So she probably hadn’t heard the whispers of the hallways. But Mizuki had to check.

While also not making Nene curious about her as well…

“I was wondering… if you had something on your mind…” Mizuki mustered.

Nene’s eyes bugged out and took a step back. “W-was I that obvious!?”

Mizuki felt a weight drop in her stomach. So she does know… “Y-you see-”

Nene quickly bowed. “I-I didn’t mean to make anything awkward! T-to be honest, I’m not used to talking to people face to face… so I’m not like my online persona. But I saw that you and everybody else were similar to how they were online so I tried my best to be myself but I can’t yet. I’m sorry!”

Mizuki froze. So… she doesn’t know after all…? She let out an anxious laugh and waved off Nene’s apology. “No no! It’s fine, Nene-chan! You don’t have to feel pressured around us! We’re all just happy to meet like this!”

Nene still looked uneasy so Mizuki flashed a small smile. “I’ll see you at Nightcord.”

---

Mizuki couldn’t focus on what the teacher was saying. All she could think about the sight of Nene a few moments ago. 

That was close. 

Ever since their first offline meeting, Mizuki had been trying to avoid Nene as much as she could in school. Nene doesn’t know about the rumors so far but the whispers follow Mizuki everywhere. If she wasn’t careful, then everything would crash.

It was strange. Almost everybody in school knows about Mizuki’s past so shouldn’t be a big deal for everybody at Nightcord to know as well. After all, the groupchat had been together for months so there’s no doubt that they would accept her.

But maybe it’s because they’re the closest people Mizuki has who also doesn’t know about her past that makes the girl so scared. Even if they accept her, nobody would look at her the same. But… she would have to tell them eventually as much as she hates it.

Everything would’ve been easier if she were to just disappear. 

Mizuki jolted in her seat from the thought, suddenly wanting to throw up on her desk. She could feel her sweat starting to drip down her chin.

“You and Hanasato-san have always put on a cheerful front… but we’re all hurting the same.”

For someone as perspective as Honami to notice something like that… it looks like Mizuki had already started to slip…

Mizuki gripped onto her pen tightly. The notes she wrote in her book had degraded into incoherent scribbles.

Chapter Text

A quiet knock on the door was followed by a line of light that gently flooded the ****’s dark room. The ****, however, refused to look up. Their eyes were glued onto their computer screen glaring back at them. Their hands aimlessly clacked against the keyboard, their mouse clicked around the video editor.

“Mizuki…?”

The middle schooler halted at their sister’s voice. They leaned their chair back to see their older sister peeking through the door crack. “O-Oneechan…”

Yuuki frowned. She must’ve noticed the dark circles under Mizuki’s eyes getting worse. “It’s late and you haven’t gotten down to eat yet.”

“A-ah well…” Mizuki lowered their chair back and ran their hand over their hair. The pink locks only reaching their ears. “I just wasn’t hungry...”

Yuuki stole a glance at Mizuki’s video editor. “How long have you been working on that?”

“Um-” Mizuki brought their hand to the mouse and almost clicked off the program. But instead, they stared at their work before them. “Not that long. I came across this idol song I really like and I wanted to try to make a video out of it.”

Yuuki seemed like she wanted to say more but she ultimately decided not to. Instead, she hesitantly backed away and letting the ray of light in Mizuki’s room become thinner. She flashed her little sibling a reassuring smile. “Okay, I won’t interrupt you any longer. Just let me know when you’re hungry and I will heat up your food right away.”

Mizuki returned the smile. “Okay. Thanks, Sis.”

The door shut and left the **** in the suffocating darkness again. They turned around to look at the mirror tucked in the corner of their room. Its glass was covered by a gloomy blanket. The **** sighed. There she goes worrying their sister again. What else would the middle schooler do these days? Their favorite anime already had their finale yesterday. And just like that, there was nothing to look forward to anymore. Should they even bother to go to high school next year?

Mizuki’s eyes stared back at her video editor. The colored bars were in messy arrays. They didn’t need to press play to know how soulless the video would turn out. This desperate attempt to try to occupy themselves only made the void bigger. Mizuki sighed and shut off the computer, engulfing the **** in darkness completely.

Maybe they should try something else. Mizuki’s eyes wandered to a lonely mannequin next to the mirror. They had a dress they were working on draped over the silhouette. Mizuki slowly got up from their chair and headed towards the stand. They reached out and smoothed the soft fabric. There was nothing else that the middle school wanted to do. Might as well finish up the dress. 

With a flick of a light, Mizuki stepped back and tilted her head. Come to think of it, there was this really neat design that the girl had came across on a blog that she really wanted to try out. Maybe this could work for the dress? Mizuki pulled up her phone and opened the page she bookmarked. She held up her phone towards the mannequin and she let out a breath. 

The design was prettier than she remembered. The laces were so thoughtfully stitched together emitting a sort of warmth on the fabric. It’s perfect. Suddenly struck with inspiration, Mizuki eagerly dug through her drawers to look for the right laces.

---

Mizuki groaned. Tattered fabric was sprawled across the floor as she bit down on the needles between her lips. She had been trying to copy the design for hours but she just couldn’t get it right. Mizuki furrowed her eyebrows as she fidgeted with the laces. It’s well into the night so she didn’t want to wake her sister up with this matter. She could wait but at the same time she felt so close to the answer that Mizuki didn’t want to stop. What should she do?

The middle school girl sighed and opened up the blog post again. All of Mizuki’s attempts did not exude the sort of vibe she was going for. What was she missing? Her eyes hovered up towards the Direct Message button on the corner of the screen. 

…Maybe it’s best to ask the designer themselves?

But what are the odds of them being awake at this time? That is assuming that they would bother to answer Mizuki’s question anyway. Mizuki looked back up at the mannequin before her and clenched her phone. 

Well… it’s worth a shot right…?

---

A ding from her phone almost made Mizuki topple over her tin of needles. She frantically picked it up to check and lo and behold, a notification that the account Tsuki had replied to Mizuki’s message. Mizuki gulped and hesitantly opened the message. That was way quicker than she anticipated. So Tsuki was up at this time…

Tsuki: Hello, Amia! I’m happy that you’ve taken a liking to my work and wanting to try it out! To be honest, I don’t know if I can properly explain my process because I have never done this before but I hope to help you the best I can!

Not knowing how to properly explain was the biggest lie Mizuki has ever heard. Below, Tsuki had listed a detailed step by step on how to do her stitchings, including taking into consideration what type of fabric would work best and provided a different method if Mizuki didn’t have it. The instructions were so considerate and thoughtful that it felt like Mizuki was receiving a warm hug and it made tears start to prick the girls eyes. 

She should not put this person’s efforts into waste. Tsuki had given Mizuki enough energy to work all night. She was so focused that she didn’t even notice the sun’s rays pouring into her room in the morning. 

---

Amia: Tada! I managed to get it done thanks to your help!

Mizuki kicked her feet up and down as she sat on the bed. She kept stealing glances at the dress she just made and couldn’t suppress her grin. It turned out so much better than she imagined. She felt so light that she had to share Tsuki her efforts. Afterall, it was all thanks to them. 

Then, another ding went off on her phone and Mizuki quickly opened the notification

Tsuki: That’s amazing, Amia! Congrats! If you need any more help, feel free to ask me.

There was absolutely no way Mizuki would ever pass that opportunity! Mizuki had found Tsuki’s blog a while ago. The account would showcase little trinkets that they would make as well as stitchings of clothes for their dog. It was obvious that they were talented and Mizuki was always left in awe in every new post. Being able to chat with them like this is like a dream.

As Mizuki was going to send another message of thanks, another message from Tsuki popped up.

Tsuki: If you don’t mind, I’ve noticed that you have taken a bit of creative liberty with some of the laces on the straps of the dress. I love how you built off my design to make it look like flower weaves.

Tsuki: You’re really talented and I would like it if we could talk about crafts together…

Mizuki’s heart almost stopped. Tsuki noticed what Mizuki had done with the straps. Not only that but they also want to talk with her more… 

She couldn’t contain her grin. She really only had her sister to talk about fabrics with. To be able to have someone else to talk about her passion with is…

Mizuki’s thumbs flew across her phone as she typed out her message.

Amia: Of course! Making dresses is my hobby and I would love to chat to you about them!

Tsuki: Really? I’m glad! So about what you did with the flounce of the dress…

---

What began as chatting about dresses, Mizuki and Tsuki’s conversations started to drift more onto other topics. It turned out that Tsuki had started stitching outfits for her dog because she would always find such cute designs at the store but none of them would fit. Mizuki would then talk about the anime she had watched. Although Tsuki was unfamiliar with the media, she was always listening to Mizuki’s rambles and even managed to catch who Mizuki’s favorite characters were. It became a daily occurrence and eventually the girls decided to use Nightcord for convenience. Tsuki was so pleasant to talk to and Nightcord would be the first thing Mizuki would open when she wakes up in the morning.

Then, like a domino effect, Mizuki met more people.

Just a few weeks later, Mizuki was playing a video game that was adapted from an anime she liked and got obliterated by a player who was insane at the game. After a bunch of coincidences of being in the same lobby, they started chatting regularly about the game and the anime in the chatrooms. Eventually, they switched to Nightcord.

Not long after, Mizuki posted a fanmade music video of an idol song by ASRUN and an account in the comment section started bombarding her with all the love and praise. Just like the other girl, they chatted in the comment section and moved to Nightcord. Eventually, she was juggling three friends online. The more she chatted with them, the more this thought popped up in her head: 

Wouldn’t it be nice if all these girls would get along together?

It shouldn’t be a long shot, right? After getting to know the three girls, Mizuki noticed that even though their hobbies are different, their interests overlap with one another and they were so sweet that she had a feeling that they would all get along with each other. 

Maybe she should take a leap and make a groupchat for them…

---

Mizuki rolled to the side of her bed, staring at the offline status beside Tsuki’s profile picture. This group chat had started a few months ago and ever since then it was a pure bliss. The girls were all down in meeting each other and they were able to hit it off immediately. It was the most fun Mizuki had ever had in her life. It was something that pulled her up every morning.

But of course things just can’t go that well for long…

Mizuki opened the group chat to find it dead. Tsuki’s sudden disappearance had gotten to the other girls and nobody had been in the mood to send a message in the chat. Something lurched in the pink girl’s throat and she turned off her phone, holding it close to her chest.

This group means everything to her. And she does not want to let any of them go.

Chapter Text

“Oh, it looks like you are here as well.”

The sound of a familiar voice made Mizuki tighten her grip on the school rooftop’s fence. She slowly turned around to find a school boy standing by the doorway, his purple hair drifting fluttering from the light evening breeze. He certainly has gotten taller since they last met almost a year ago.

“Rui?” Mizuki said. She let go of the metal fence and hesitantly walked towards him. “What are you doing here?”

Rui looked down at her with a gentle grin. “I just wanted to come up to see the sunset. It’s been a while, Mizuki.”

“It really has…” the girl chuckled. “But why exactly are you here at school this late? I can’t imagine you needing to take any supplementary classes.”

“Ah well, I’m just here to pick something up.” He raised his arms and did a playful shrug. “One of the teachers managed to snag a robot I brought earlier.”

Mizuki grabbed her sides and bursted into laughter. “Pft-!! You really haven’t changed at all since we last met, haven’t you?”

Rui tilted his head and smiled down at her. “But it looks like you, on the other hand, have changed a lot since middle school. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Mizuki stopped but Rui didn’t miss a beat as he continued.

“It suits you.”

“T-thanks…” Mizuki lowered her head and clutched her arms. Although she couldn’t shake away the feeling about how the other students had talked about her through all these years, especially now, Rui’s similar words felt different. It felt a bit comforting. He really always knows how to read the room and figure out what to say…

If Mizuki was like him, would she have known what to say to Honami when she and the rest of the hobbyists had confronted her…?

The girl glanced back up at the boy. Rui was standing in front of her patiently with a smile. As if he was letting Mizuki know that she could continue the conversation again when she was ready. Although the air was silent, the atmosphere was gentle rather than awkward. She could feel her chest getting lighter because of it and took in a breath.

Mizuki let out a nervous laugh. “It really has been a year, huh?”

“Yeah, it has.” Rui chuckled as he nodded. 

“How have you been since then?”

“Hm… let’s just say that I’ve met a group of interesting people recently.” Rui had a familiar gleam in his eyes as he spoke. “We’ve started doing performances together in this place call Vivid Street.” 

Mizuki’s eyes also lit up and she immediately hopped on her feet at the news. “Really? Man, it’s been forever since I’ve last seen you do a performance. You got to invite me to one of them sometime!”

“Fufu, don’t worry, I will.” He then let out a sigh. “Though, it’s not the same type of performances I used to do. We sing songs in these livehouses and I create the effects and choreography.”

“Oh! That’s just as cool! So you plan out their choreography, huh? Your new friends got good eyes!”

“I’m glad you think so, Mizuki…” After Rui said that, Mizuki tilted her head. Her longtime friend was still smiling down as her but for some reason she felt like that it was more strained than before. As if he had something else to say but is holding back on it.

“Rui-”

“What about you, Mizuki? How have you been?”

Mizuki blinked and the image of the strained smile was gone. Was she really just imagining the whole thing? She combed her fingers through her side-tail. “It’s been getting better. I’ve actually made some friends. I met them online but we’ve been chatting for a few months and actually started doing in-person meet ups from time to time.”

“Really? You are able to meet up with your online friends that frequently?”

“Yeah. They all live nearby Shibuya! Amazing coincidence, right?” Mizuki laughed. “I’ll have to introduce them to you sometime. They’re good people.”

“Then, I shall look forward to it.” Rui’s eyes softened a bit. “Looks like we really were able to make some friends after all.”

“Yeah…” Mizuki’s arms dropped to the side and looked away. “But… I don’t think that it’s going to last long for me…”

Rui immediately frowned. “Why would that be?”

“Well…” Mizuki bit down on her lip and squeezed her arm. “One of my friends on that online group doesn’t want us to contact her anymore… and I don’t know what I should do.”

Rui waited for Mizuki to continue and the girl let out a breath.

“You see, I was the one who made the online group in the first place. I wanted it to be a place so we can talk about our interests and hobbies with no filter. It was meant to be a place for us to escape the outside world just for a little bit.”

Kinda like how Mizuki went to this rooftop moments earlier.

“But instead, I found out that it ended up hurting one of my friends and she disappeared from us a few days ago,” Mizuki hesitantly continued, “The others in the groupchat are still pretty active but they’ve also started to drift away now that one of our members is gone. I think… I ended up hurting them as well and…” 

Rui stood still as he listened to her talk. It was strange. Mizuki had been spending the last couple of nights pacing in her room of what she should do with their crumbling groupchat. Her thoughts were murky and in the end she would collapsed onto bed to try to sink into it. But now that she was talking with Rui, she could feel herself finally getting her thoughts in order.

Mizuki inhaled a sharp breath before she finished. “I don’t know what to do… I feel like I really failed everybody.”

The girl let the silent hang for a while as she refused to look up at Rui. It felt like she was confessing her failures. Even though Rui said that Mizuki had been changing for the better, there was still doubt lingering in her mind. It wasn’t until she saw Nene at school the other day after Honami’s confrontation that she realized something. The reason why she wasn’t able to say anything when Honami didn’t want to talk to them anymore.

If Mizuki was in Honami’s place, she would’ve done the same thing as her.

“Hurting your friend huh…” Rui said, snapping Mizuki out of her thoughts. He then let out a small chuckle. “We really are the same…”

Mizuki could feel a slight pain behind that laugh and looked back up at him. The boy’s eyes wandered as if he was choosing his words carefully.

Rui touched his chin in thought. "Did she tell you why she doesn't want to talk to you anymore?"

"Well kinda... but it was vague..." Mizuki mumbled.

“If you were to call her right now, would you use her username or her real name?”

Mizuki blinked at that question. “What do you mean?”

“You said that you made this groupchat so you all could have a small escape from the outside world.” Rui looked down at her. "But recently, you started to do frequent offline meetings, right?"

Mizuki shot her head up. The moment Rui said that, it all started to click for her. At the time, Mizuki didn't understand what Honami meant when she said that everything about Tsuki is now being connected to her real life. What Mizuki didn't realize is that everything with Tsuki includes herself, Minori, and Nene. They were not hidden away anymore once the girls got to know each other in person. Could it be that Honami left because she didn't want them to deal with what she's going through outside the group chat? Is she pushing them away to protect everybody?

That's exactly what Mizuki is doing to Nene whenever she sees her at school...

Mizuki could laugh at these thoughts she was having. She really is going through the same thing as Honami right now. Now that she realizes it, she finally understood why Honami would run away. Mizuki running after her would put the brunette in more pain. Even so... she wants her back. To at least try to stay again. There has to be a way.

If she and Honami are any more alike, that's what Mizuki would want too, no matter how painful it is. Whether or not Mizuki would be able to bare with the pain is something she hopes to never find out.

But still, she hadn’t failed her group. She’s a hypocrite. But she also isn’t done yet.

---

Honami’s face practically sunk in her pillow as she stared at her phone. Its light was glaring at her face in the dark bedroom. Her eyes had followed the nightcord notifications popping up on her lockscreen as the minutes ticked by. Despite looking at the messages flying through, the girl hadn’t been able to bring herself read them.

Why hadn’t she turned off the notifications yet?

Why does she even still have the app downloaded at all…? She only made the account after Mizuki suggested it and the brunette had been using it exclusively for the group chat.

Her thumb absently pressed on one of the notifications and a passcode screen popped up for her to type in. Honami tensed up a bit and threw her phone on her nightstand.

She never thought that she would get so close with them. It only started by just exchanging advice on clothing but then she let herself get carried away. Why hadn’t she stopped herself sooner? How could she be such a fool to let the same mistake happen again?

Shivering, Honami buried herself in her blankets but the harsh whispers wouldn’t stop.

This pain… she’s all too familar to it…

Chapter Text

“Huh? Saki-chan is not coming to school today?” Honami said as she fastened her blue middle school tie up her collar. Her head was tilted at an angle to secure her phone on her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry…” the woman on the other end of the line sighed, “It’s the first day and I know you girls have been so eager to be attending the same school together.”

Although Saki’s mom couldn’t see her, Honami let out a reassuring smile. She slid her phone down her shoulder and secured it in her hands once she finished smoothing down her junior high school uniform. “That’s okay, Tenma-san. We’ll all be waiting for Saki-chan whenever she feels better.”

Honami could hear the woman’s voice hitch from her phone before speaking again. “I don’t know if that’s even going to be possible…”

Honami paused. “What do you mean…?”

“Well…” Saki’s mom paused as if she were trying to find the right words to say to the little girl. “Saki’s condition has worsened a lot last night so we had to move her to a hospital way out of town. I… nobody knows how long she would need to stay there for…”

Honami’s blood started to run cold. Saki’s condition had worsened…? She seemed just fine a few days ago. What could’ve happened? The brunette gripped the phone in her hand. Saki had always been a bit sick ever since Honami met her. With Shiho and Ichika, the girls would always try to find ways to play together while accommodating the blond’s weakened body. Despite all her struggles, Saki had always been a bright and cheerful girl. Especially when it came to studying once the girls set a goal to attend the same middle school together. To think that something would come to this…

“Honami-chan?”

Saki’s mom’s soft voice broke through Honami’s thoughts and the girl tensed up. “Thank you for letting me know, Tenma-san. You don’t have to worry about us! All that matters is that Saki-chan gets better.”

Saki’s mom sighed in relief. “I’m glad that Saki had made such good friends. Thank you, Honami-chan. Good luck at school.”

Honami exchanged her farewells and hung up the phone. She looked up at the ceiling and let out a deep breath. 

She should reach out to Shiho and Ichika to plan a visit with Saki soon.

---

The next few months into middle school were still fun. Even though Saki hadn't came back yet, Honami had been able to make some new friends with her classmates and was able to eat lunch with Shiho and Ichika whenever they were free. 

That was until Ichika had approached her one day while Honami was sorting through the papers her teacher had given her.

“Hey, Honami, had Shiho been replying to your messages?” Ichika asked as she fidgeted with her sleeve.

“Huh? Um… ” Honami dug in her bag for her phone and pulled it up. She opened a chat to where she had asked Shiho if she was available for lunch but her message was left on read. “Did her phone die?”

“That’s what I thought too but…” Ichika looked off out the classroom window. “I managed to bump into her while I was heading to the school lunch counter but she didn’t say anything.”

Maybe she just didn’t notice her?

Ichika seemed to have known what Honami was going to say and shook her head before the brunette could open her mouth. “She just brushed me off and walked away no matter how many times I called for her.”

“Then… could it be that she is running into some trouble…?” Honami mustered.

She could never imagine that Shiho would ever do something like this. Hearing that she had deliberately ignored Ichika was something outworldly to the girls. If she’s having any problem, then Honami would try her best to help her.

“I’ll go talk to her tomorrow,” Honami finally said.

---

Ichika: I heard from my classmates that the teacher is going to give us a pop quiz today. I’m probably going to have to do some last minute studying.

Honami stared at the picture of a baby cactus that Ichika had as her profile picture and grinned. It hadn’t even been a day since her friend had gotten that cactus but she had already grown so attached to it. She rocked on her seat back and forth as her fingers typed out a message.

Honami: You know, you learn the material better if you actually study and don’t cram everything at the last minute.

Ichika: That’s-!

Honami giggled at the screen as it showed Ichika typing out something before her status disappeared and reappeared again. The brunette could just imagine her flustered friend trying to come up with different excuses. She could tell when the girl ultimately gave up once her typing status finally stopped flickering.

Honami: I’m kidding, Ichika-chan. I’ll give you the notes after class. You should have time to go through everything. 

Ichika: You’re a lifesaver, Honami! I’ll see you soon!

Honami sent back a sticker and stared at the contacts on her phone. Shiho’s profile picture was still there but their former friend had blocked them months ago. Honami had tried to talk to her before then but was immediately shut down. Just remembering her cold stare from that day made Honami's heart drop. They hadn’t been able to hear from Shiho ever since, leaving the two girls alone. Still, Ichika and Honami had still clung on hope that Shiho would talk to them again one day. But that narrative gets more and more hopeless at each passing day.

Just what happened to Shiho that day?

“Honami!”

A friend from the brass band burst into the room and plopped herself in front of Honami’s desk. “Do you mind if I rant to you for a bit? It’s about Yui-san.”

Honami blinked. That name belongs to a classmate of hers. Coincidentally, Yui had talked to her about the girl in front of her earlier today. What Honami had heard from Yui seemed so out of character for her friend to do and it made the brunette worried about any potential bad blood over a possible misunderstanding.

“Sure,” Honami said with a smile, “I’m willing to hear you out.”

Maybe if she listens to the other side of the story, she can help clear everything up and nobody can feel stressed about each other anymore.

---

“Honami!” a voice yelled as Honami had started to unpack her bag before the beginning of class.

Honami looked up to find Yui storming up at her. “Ah! Yui-san! Good morning.”

The girl ignored the brunette’s greeting and crossed her arms. “You got a minute?”

“Yeah, of course,” Honami said with a smile, “What do you need?”

Yui grimaced at Honami’s face in disgust. “I can’t believe that I was foolish enough to trust you with my problems.”

Honami’s smile dropped. “Huh?”

“I heard that you’ve been talking bad behind my back. On the same day where I vented to you no less.”

The way the girl spoke almost made Honami’s knees start to buckle and she clung onto her desk. “What do you mean? I didn’t-”

Yui immediately rolled her eyes. “Now that I think about it, you don’t know when to stop butting into other people’s businesses, do you?”

What?

“That’s not-” All words died in Honami’s throat once she realized that everybody in the class was glaring at her. 

Then, the harsh whispers started to pick up.

Chapter Text

The front door clicked behind her as Honami took off her shoes in her home. She sighed as she loosened her middle school uniform and began to trudge to her room.

“Oh! Honami!” her mom said with a smile as she popped her head up from the sewing machine. “I didn’t hear you call from the front door! What exciting thing did you do at school this time?”

The girl didn’t say anything and she didn’t look up as she walked past the woman. Her mom’s smile immediately dropped. “Honami? Is everything alright…?” she said again.

It was like the brunette couldn’t hear her and she simply entered her room and shut the door.

Honami tore off her scrunchie and collapsed onto the bed, letting her hair sprawl out in messy brown curls. Something lurched in her throat and she felt like she was going to throw up on her pillow. Strands of hair got caught in her mouth as she tried to keep up with her wretched breaths.

How is it that even though she’s in her own room, she can’t get the whispers to go away?

The sudden rough sound of light scratching at Honami’s door made the girl tense up.

Just who? What do they want this time? What do they have to say?

Arf!

Honami froze. She almost wanted to bang her head against her nightstand to try to shake herself out of it. Right. She’s home. What was she thinking…?

Honami dropped herself out of bed and opened the door. Sitting right below her was a tiny shiba inu puppy tilting his head at her. 

A small smile immediately grew on the brunette’s face. “Hey, Shibao.”

The dog barked and ran past Honami to jump on her bed. He rolled around in the sheets before laying down on a spot where the sun shined the most. Honami headed over and gently petted Shibao on the head. Come to think of it, Haru did say that he would always find Shibao laying on Honami’s futon to sunbathe whenever the girl went out somewhere.

“We might as well have adopted a cat,” was what he said.

A laugh escaped the girl’s mouth from the thought and Shibao’s ears immediately perked up and nuzzled Honami’s hand. The brunette blinked as the dog stared at her with his twinkling beady eyes. Ah… did he come here to help Honami feel better…?

“My feelings were that obvious to you, weren’t they…?” she whispered. Honami ruffled Shibao’s ears and the puppy leaned into her touch. A small yet blissful moment was enough to wash Honami’s worries away.

…but what about tomorrow?

A quick ding from her phone snapped the girl from her thoughts and she picked it up to find a message from Ichika.

Ichika: Hey, Honami! I’m trying to work on this math assignment that’s due tomorrow but I feel like I haven't been able to make any progress…

Ichika: Is it okay if we can work on our assignments together?

Honami’s shoulders instantly relaxed and she quickly typed out a message.

Honami: Yeah! Of course! Why don’t you come over to my place and we can play with Shibao when we’re done? I bet he misses you!

Honami sighed and laid on her bed next to Shibao with a smile. The puppy rolled on his back and scooted closer to tangle himself in the girl’s hair.

At least she still has things she can look forward to in her life.

---

“Honami…?”

Ichika’s voice shook the girl out from her daze and Honami found herself in front of her classroom door. Ichika had walked Honami back to her classroom after their lunch. She was about to leave but Honami had absently reached out and clung against her friend’s sleeve. 

“Honami?” Ichika said again as she tilted her head. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concern. “I can’t help but notice that you’ve been out of it since lunch. Is everything okay?"

The moment Ichika asked that question, Honami could feel tears starting to prick her eyes. That look of concern. For some reason, seeing that hurts more than the disgusted stares she gets whenever she walks into that classroom behind her.

“S-sorry…” Honami weakly mumbled and let go of Ichika’s sleeve.

“Hey…” Ichika reached out and grabbed Honami’s hand again. “You know you can talk to me if anything is bothering you, right? I’m willing to listen to what you have to say.”

Maybe… maybe… she should let Ichika hear her out. 

No matter how loud her classmates were everyday, Ichika had always been able to drown them out whenever Honami saw her. Just knowing that she could hang out with her childhood friend during lunch was enough for her to get out of bed in the morning. Ichika had even been the one to save her from bullies back when they first met. Would she be able to protect her again…?

“Look at her over there, acting all like a blameless victim to her friend.”

A chilling voice from behind the doorway made Honami freeze up. 

“Oh isn’t that Hoshino she’s talking to? Don’t they hang out a lot?”

Honami shook Ichika’s hand away and clenched her hands over her chest. Her heart was thumping so fast that it felt like Honami could catch it if it shot straight out of her chest. Ichika frowned at Honami’s behavior. It seems like she couldn’t hear what her classmates were saying.

“Yeah, they’re pretty much joint to the hip. I almost pity her.”

“Are you kidding? She’s probably the same as that snake. Like attracts like after all.”

These girls… they were speaking loud enough for Honami to hear them through the door on purpose. How foolish she was to entertain herself with such a fantasy. If Ichika were to try to protect her, then she’ll get dragged in with Honami and get hurt as well. 

They aren’t little kids anymore.

“Ichika-chan…” Honami breathed.

Ichika blinked, ready to listen to what her friend had to say.

Honami turned around and grabbed her classroom door’s handle. She couldn’t tell what type of expression Ichika was having but she couldn’t bear to see it. “Please don’t talk to me ever again.”

“Huh-!? Wait! Honami-!?”

Honami didn’t hear what Ichika had to say as she slammed the door behind her.

---

There was nothing to note as Honami started her third year of middle school. 

The girl absently sewed on the last stitch of Shibao’s outfit before holding it up in front of her to examine her work. It looks almost identical to the design she saw at the mall the other day. She could feel her chest slowly swell up in pride.

Small moments like these were enough to dissipate the girl’s thoughts for a while. Normally, she would show her work to her friends and they would always praise her with sparkly eyes.

But now she has nobody else to share this to.

Her brother isn’t as interested in sewing which leaves her parents as the next option. But they'd use that as an excuse to ask about her school. Honami absently gripped onto the fabric tightly and shook her head. Look at her, pushing everybody away yet still wanting to talk to someone. How selfish can she be?

But…

Come to think of it, the blogs she followed online to get tips on sewing also post their completed works on social media. Maybe she should try something like that as well…? 

It’ll be under a username as well so nobody would know who she is. Nobody would look at her in disgust or worry anymore. 

She could in a way, start all over… before she made all those mistakes.

---

Honami laid down on her bed with the door shut. Saki’s words earlier today back at Miyajou High was still ringing her in her head.

“If this is what you truly want, Hona-chan, then I won’t bother you about joining our band anymore!”

It looks like she lost all her chances to go back to them if she ever changed her mind. For days, Saki and Ichika had been trying to get Honami to play in their band. It was something that the girls used to do when they were really little. Those were memories that the brunette used to look fond of but now Honami shot down their invitations every time. Is this… really what Honami truly wants? What does she actually want?

There's no going back either way.

She didn’t know why but she picked up her phone and turned it on. She stared at the nightcord notifications that continued to pop up on her lock screen.

She never expected that opening up a blog last year would lead to her joining this group chat. 

She didn’t know what came over her when Amia first texted her. Why was Tsuki the one who offered to continue to chat? Was she that crazy? Did she forget what happened before? Was it the loneliness? Or was it because she felt like she could hide away whenever she talked to the girls?

The nightcord notifications had slowed down. It looks like the other girls had exchanged their goodbyes.

Honami let out a breath and rolled in her bed. 

Those thoughts shouldn’t matter to her anymore.

Chapter Text

Bang! Bang! Crash! Clang!

"Ena!? Can you stop drumming for just a second!?"

Airi's abrupt voice startled the distracted drummer. She hit the rim of the drum hard and her drumstick went flying across the room. The sudden silence knocked Ena back to her senses and she was back in the band studio with Airi. "A-ah! Sorry... Airi..." she mustered.

Airi frowned. She walked over to pick up the drumstick and tapped it against her bass. "Is something on your mind? You seemed distracted ever since we entered the studio."

"Ahah... well..." Ena's words stopped once she caught a genuine look of concern in Airi's eyes. She gulped down her words from the sight and looked away. "I just didn't get enough sleep today. That's all."

Her friend squinted at her, not convinced. But to Ena's relief, she ultimately dropped it after a few seconds. Instead, she unstrapped her bass and leaned it against the wall. "Perhaps we should take a break."

"W-wait no!"

Airi turned back around and Ena gripped her hands tightly against the stool. Now that she stopped drumming, the overwhelming silence began to take over again and Ena could just about hear her father's voice from yesterday. Something he said when he found out that Ena started to pick up drumming to help Airi out.

I'm glad to see that you found another passion you can be happy with.

Ena stomped down hard on the drum pedal causing a loud boom and made her poor friend jump. 

"Ena?! What are you-!?"

Ena couldn't hear Airi's next words as her heart was pumping in rage. Another passion? She can be happy with? Just what is he insinuating about her real passion? Why does he always-

Before she could finish her thoughts, she felt something cold pressed against her forehead and tensed up. She raised her head to find Airi holding a water bottle to her forehead.

"Sorry..." Airi muttered.

"Huh... what for?" 

"Well... for making you drum so I can practice the bass..." Airi lowered the water bottle and placed it in Ena's hands. "I should've known that this was going to trouble you. Especially since you have to wake up early and-"

"No no! That's not true! If anything, I'm happy to help you, Airi!" Ena exclaimed as she shot up from her stool which made Airi almost fall over from shock. "Especially since you got screwed over by that agency! You don't know how excited I was when you told me that you found something that you wanted to do again! I'll do everything I can to get you into a professional band."

Airi blinked and let out a sheepish smile. "To be honest, it is a bit silly though. I really only decided I wanted to try out the bass because I was able to see my friend's sister play it once in a live show."

"And you mentioned how you were so fascinated on how she was able to rile up a crowd so much even though basses don't get that much spotlight! That reminded you of yourself, right?"

"But-"

"So I can keep going! I'll help you get on stage one way or another!" Ena interrupted, clearly showing her friend that she wasn't willing to budge.

Airi stared at Ena for a moment and sighed. "Okay... I'll-"

"Ah, Shinonome-senpai, Momoi-senpai. Sorry we're late."

The two girls turned around to find Ichika and Saki by the studio door.

"Don't worry, it's fine," Airi said with a smile, "In fact, we're just about the start again."

"Really? Let me go set up the synthesizer right away then!" Saki hummed.

As the blond girl brushed by Ena, the drummer caught something in the corner of her eye. "Wait, Tenma-san."

"Huh?" Saki turned around towards Ena.

Now that Ena got a better look of the girl, she noticed that the pianist's eyes were red and puffy.

"Were you... crying...?" Ena slowly said.

"Huh, how did...?" Before Saki could finish, tears started to flow through her eyes again. 

"Saki!" Ichika yelled and she ran to her childhood friend's side. She reached over to touch the blond's shoulder. "Do you need another minute?"

"I..." Saki continued to choke on her words as she spoke. "Ah... what's this? I thought I already got myself to stop crying...?"

"Tenma-san?" Airi asked softly, "What's the matter?"

Saki couldn't answer and Ichika turned to face her friend with concern. Her friend slowly nodded and Ichika took a deep breath and looked at Airi and Ena. "We... had a talk with one of our childhood friends earlier."

"The ones who are ignoring you?" Ena said as she crossed her arms. 

"Yeah uhm..." Ichika looked down. Seemingly having trouble to find the right words. "We realized that pushing our friends to start a band was selfish of us so Saki decided to go tell them that they didn't have to join anymore."

"And what did she say?" Airi said.

"Uhm... nothing much..." Ichika weakly mumbled. "She stood there in silence and thanked us."

"And you still call her a friend?"

"Ena...?" Airi whipped her head around towards the brunette in shock.

"It's bad enough that they've been ignoring you two for years without any explanations! But the last things she ever said to you guys is just words of thanks!? You two deserve so much better than that!" Ena exclaimed.

"Shinonome-senpai...?" Ichika said.

"You two have obviously put in so much effort into reuniting again. If there was a problem, your friends should've just spit out what it is! They can't just let things stay this way!" Ena continued, "Were all those years spent together nothing to them!? Why bother and waste that effort at all!" 

None of the girls were able to interject with Ena's outburst. Not even Airi.

"Why can you just give me a proper explanation on why I'm not good enough..." Ena whispered. Once Ena realized what she had said, she clapped her mouth shut with her hand. It was then that reality finally started to catch up to her. "I-I'm sorry!! I didn’t mean to judge you on your situation or anything!!"

As the drummer's face was burning, Saki started to laugh. "I've never seen such a passionate side from Shinonome-senpai before!"

"Ugh... you should try to forget that..." Ena said as she started to shrink away.

Airi gave her a smile and shook her head. "No way. It's been a while since you've been so riled up like that. It's... nice to see that you still get angry for others."

Ena's words were lumped in her throat as she was stuck under Airi's gaze. "W-well, it's normal to be frustrated in a situation like this, isn't it?"

"No, you really are amazing, Shinonome-senpai," Ichika said, "Momoi-senpai had even mentioned before that you always make sure that you're the first one to greet her despite rarely being able to see eachother."

"Well..." That's natural isn't it? Was what Ena wanted to say but she luckily caught herself. Ichika fidgeted with her fingers and looked away. It was obvious to see that the guitarist was wishing that she had the same amount of boldness as Ena when speaking to her former friends. Just looking at this makes Ena want to try to do something. But how would an outsider like her be able to help them?

"Alright!" Airi clapped, "Practice is over!"

"Eh!?" Saki objected, "But we just got here!"

"Right!" Airi waved her hand in the air, "So now I have decided to turn this into a outing day! We can all go to the mall and relax a bit!"

"A-are you sure?" Ichika asked, "Saki and I had promised you that we would help you in finding a band..."

"Of course! In the end, it's my audition anyway. And you three have done plenty to help me during the past few days. I don't want to trouble you all any further." She turned to Ena to give the brunette a grin. "Let's use this time to wind down a bit. We're all still young, after all."

Ena opened her mouth. "I don't think-" 

"I heard there's a cheesecake special at a diner in the mall. It'll be on me."

"Okay."

The three girls immediately laughed Ena's sudden change of mind and the drummer could feel her cheeks heat up again.

"Alright, you three... enough already..." she groaned.

So much for trying to seem like she's a reliable senpai.

Chapter Text

“Minori-chan?”

The girl’s head snapped up from the call of her name and she found herself standing in the Miyajou school hallway. Kohane was waving her hands in front of the flustered brunette’s face. Her eyes were casted with slight worry.

“Minori-chan?” Kohane said again, “Is everything okay?”

Minori blinked at her friend and let out a sheepish smile. “Yeah, I’m…” her voice trails off as she stares back at a pair of green eyes. “...fine.”

Shiho frowned at her. As she scanned the wannabe idol, Minori felt a murky feeling bubbling up from her chest. Minori gripped on her school ribbon as she kept her eye contact with the girl.  No matter how badly Minori wanted to look away, she just couldn’t pry her eyes off her. Then, the idol opened her mouth. “Hey-”

“I-I gotta use the bathroom real quick! You two can go on ahead without me!” Minori shouted before turning around and bolting down the hallway. 

“Eh-!? Wait! Minori-chan!?” Kohane yelped. But it was already too late. Minori had turned the corner of the hallway and vanished.

---

Minori tried her best to focus on the running faucet water as she splashed her face. Cold water dripped down from cheeks as Minori looked up to find a sorry girl in front of her in the mirror. Instead of green, her eyes met gray and she watched as her eyebrows slowly crinkled. 

Ever since that day she couldn’t stop thinking about it. Once Shiho revealed that she was going to debut as an official idol soon, Minori completely forgot how to properly look at her. 

This horrifyingly dark feeling in her chest threatened to spill over whenever she tried to talk to the future idol. 

Just what do you have that I don’t?

*Splash*

Minori gasped as she smacked her face with cold water. No. Shiho had worked hard to grab her spot as an idol! Minori of all people should be rooting for her! 

So why… can’t she show that enthusiasm to her good friend…?

Minori shut off the faucet and trudged out the bathroom. Kohane has already started to notice that something was off. The brunette should try to not get her to worry any more. After all, her friend had also felt a bit down lately. Minori wasn’t sure why but after what happened with Honami, the brunette wasn’t sure if she could address Kohane about it.

“Ootori-san, I’m really sorry for disappearing on you all for the past week. I know I apologized for it already but I just wanted to say it again...”

Minori froze. That voice. She can recognize it from anywhere. The brunette instantly hugged against a wall and peered through the corner. 

Standing in the middle of the hallway was Kiritani Haruka herself speaking to a girl with pink hair in front of her.

“When she messed up on her lines on our first show… I just froze. I didn’t know what I could do to help her…” Haruka continued. She gripped on her sleeves as she spoke in a soft voice. “I was… afraid that I was going to make the same mistake again and hurt her even more. And it made me realize that…”

Haruka took in a deep breath.

“I really am undeserving of bringing smiles to people.”

Minori’s blood ran cold. She wanted so badly to jump out from her corner. To jump out and tell her idol that it was not true. Minori had been able to see the light in her life ever since she saw Haruka on TV for the first time. She’s the whole reason why Minori wanted to be an idol in the first place! 

But…

Is someone like Minori, someone who can’t even get a single agency to look at her, be someone to tell the Kiritani Haruka that…?

To deliver hope and smiles… she can’t even do that with her own friend.

“You know… Haruka-chan…”

The pink girl’s voice shook Minori out from her thoughts. The brunette slowly peeked through the corner again and found a fiery determined flair in the other girl’s eyes.

“When Grandpa built Phoenix Wonderland, his one and only goal was to make people have the brightest smiles,” the girl continued, “That can’t happen with just one show or attraction. We have roller coasters, ferris wheels, haunted houses, something for everybody in the world! And if there isn’t…” Ootori energetically pumped her fists in front of her chest, “Then we will find it! That includes you too, Haruka-chan!”

“Ootori-san…” Haruka breathed.

“So let’s continue to build our stage and let more people see our shows!” Ootori grabbed Haruka’s arm with the biggest grin on her face, “Let’s continue to make people smile, Haruka-chan!”

Haruka hesitated before letting out a smile of her own and nodded. “I’ll do my best.”

Minori stared as the two started to giggle amongst themselves before pressing her back on the wall and sliding down. She never knew that Haruka had also been struggling this way. For someone that Minori had been following for years, she had never would’ve guessed that her idol had been hurting as well. 

It’s just like with Honami. 

Haruka and Honami were both such gentle and kind people that it was almost impossible to tell that something was slowly crumbling inside them.

In fact, Minori never knew that about her own self either until Honami pointed out that she was the same as everyone else other day…

But…

Haruka hasn’t given up yet.

Even though the girl isn’t an idol anymore, that doesn’t change the fact that the smiles she had given Minori all those years are still burning. 

And Minori has someone she wants to see smile too. 

Minori let out a huff and jumped up on her feet. She could feel a new spark of energy coursing through her. Even though Haruka seems to have taken a different profession, that power of giving people smiles still hasn’t wavered. That's the most important thing about being an idol after all and Haruka will always be Minori’s idol.

---

Mizuki turned off her blow dryer and felt her long pink curls fall delicately on her shoulders. She let out a breath and looked in the mirror. A foggy reflection of herself stared right back at her. 

The murky image was enough to prevent the girl from losing her train of thought. Ever since that day with Rui, one thing had been bouncing in her mind.

Honami needs their help. 

The last time they ever spoke to eachother, Honami said how she never expected to become so close to everybody. That thought seemed to have terrified her. That could only mean that there is something that’s stopping her from making friends in real life…? But Minori mentioned that Honami has friends back at school. Unless…

“Hey, why did you invite them to shop with us? You know we’re gonna get a bunch of weird stares later.”

“What? I have to admit, despite how they’re dressed, I thought that they could give some fashion advice.”

“That’s true. But you would think that someone with a sensible fashion set for others would be able to know how to dress themselves properly.”

“I mean, yeah. They can dress however they want but I think they should at least have some sense to wear more appropriate outfits if they don’t want all the attention and stares, you know?”

Mizuki gripped the sides of the sink counter tightly. If she hadn’t caught those two friends at the mall they had invited her to earlier, then she would’ve been none the wiser. But then again, she’s used to it. Perhaps… Honami is dealing with a similar situation as her.

Mizuki shut off the water and made her way to her room. What she hadn’t expected at 1:00 in the morning was her phone blowing up from Minorinrin ping spamming the group chat.

Minorinrin: @everyone @everyone @everyone Hey! Hey! Do you all have time to chat!?

Pomelo: Minorinrin, why are you trying to kill my phone at 1 in the morning??

This new fiery energy… it’s the first time Mizuki had seen it ever since that day with Honami.

Minorinrin: It’s about Tsuki.

Ah. A grin grew on Mizuki’s face. Looks like Minori had beat her to the punch.

Chapter Text

“We have to try to talk to Tsuki again!! She needs our help!!”

Nene instinctively pulled her ear away from her phone as Minorinrin’s microphone peaked from her shouting. The hyper brunette couldn’t wait to type out everything in the chat and automatically called everybody once she sent her message about Tsuki. Along with the constant pinging that Minori sent beforehand, any ounce of the gamer girl’s sleepiness was gone.

“Minorinrin’s right,” Amia’s voice chimed in. Her voice was just as fired up as Minori’s. “We might not know what Tsuki is going through. Or we might never know. But I don’t want her to suffer alone.”

Hearing these two getting so worked up had made Nene start to feel a lump in her throat. “Why…?” she started to say.

There was a bit of silence after the other girls heard Nene’s words. The girl automatically shut her mouth. She could feel that she was making the already dire situation worse and she could feel her heart thumping from her chest. She didn’t mean to say something like that...! What if the girls think that she doesn’t want Honami back?

“Maybe this is selfish of me but… I want to be there for Honami-chan…” Mizuki said.

Nene stopped. 

“I also used to face troubles with getting closer to people back then… I didn’t have anybody to confide me with but my sister,” Mizuki continued, “But… that alone was able to help me get through life. I don’t know where I would be without my sister being there for me.”

“Amia… Tsuki was right about you too..?” Minori whispered.

Too…?

“Ahah…” Mizuki sheepishly laughed, “We all have our troubles, you know? But… I want to be there for Tsuki just like how my sister was there for me… this goes the same way to you guys as well. I want to be there for all of you.”

“Me too, Amia!” Minori exclaimed, “Once we get Tsuki back, I want us all to smile together!”

Nene opened her mouth but ultimately clamped it shut. The other girls continued their chatter as they hyped each other up to get Honami back. The gamer girl badly wanted it too but she just couldn’t shake the thumping dread in her head. She knew she shouldn’t make the same mistake for blurting something random out again but she just couldn’t hold it in her throat.

“But… Tsuki said that she doesn’t want to see us again…” Nene finally said.

The girls were silent again but this time Nene continued.

“I… what if we end up making the situation for Tsuki worse…? We already tried to talk to her once and she pushed us away. What if she actually doesn’t want us back? After all, Tsuki ended up hurting to the point where she had to cut us off. We would be going against her wishes if we were to reach out again,” she gasped as she shut her eyes tight.

As much as she would like to have Honami back too, they must know this reality. After all, Nene knew more than anyone that trying again would only hurt you even more. 

“Hey, Pomelo… check out the link I sent in the chat.” Mizuki said.

Nene slowly peeled her eyes open to immediately recognize the link on her screen. After all, it was a link that directed to... 

“Tsuki’s blog?” Minori said, perplexion was present in her voice.

“What is…?” Nene started to question.

“I also had the same thoughts as you, Pomelo…” Mizuki said, “I wanted to see if she was happier without us. Minorinrin saw Honami-chan laughing and smiling with her friends at school but if we look at her as Tsuki…”

Mizuki didn’t need to continue from there. Once Nene had clicked on Tsuki’s blog, something was instantly apparent. Honami was still posting her blogs as Tsuki online. 

But something was a bit off. 

Normally, Tsuki would have cute captions accompanying her latest designs and explaining her work and thought process. But in her most recent posts, the captions were just blank. Once she scrolled down, it didn’t take much for her to find that the captionless posts started around the time Honami broke them off. Above that date, she noticed something else about the picture.

“Hey… this laced dress design reminds me a lot of Amia…” Nene exhaled.

“Hey…! This is really similar to my idol outfit design I had talked with Tsuki about…!” Minori exclaimed.

“You should take a closer look at the most recent post, Pomelo,” Mizuki added.

What? Nene scrolled all the way up to find a green laced charmed laced with purple and pink tropical flowers. The middle piece was a shell slightly opened to reveal a pearl inside. “Is that meant to be… me…?” she breathed.

Each work was so carefully crafted and the designs were so apparent and fitting that it couldn’t be a coincidence.

Honami… she was still thinking about them.

Just like how they’re all thinking of her.

“WE HAVE TO FIND HONAMI-CHAN!!” Minori suddenly shouted and it almost made Nene drop her phone on her face.

“That’s the spirit, Minorinrin!” Mizuki hummed.

“Y-yeah!” Nene stuttered, “We can follow her dog route so we can bump into her again…!”

“Ah… about that…” Minori chuckled dejectedly, “That method would not work this time.”

“Huh?” Nene could hear Mizuki frown from the other end of the phone, “What do you mean?” 

“Well… I actually tried to find Tsuki again before but it turns out that she stopped walking her dog.”

Nene immediately sat up. “What? She stopped walking Shibao??”

“Yeah. I ended up running into her brother instead and he told me that he started walking Shibao by himself since a few weeks ago. B-but-!!” Nene could tell that Minori was anxiously waving her hands from the other line, “I told him that we were looking for Honami-chan!”

“And what did he say?” Mizuki asked.

“He… said that Honami-chan had been leaving the house late at night recently…” Minori paused, “At first he thought nothing of it until he followed her one night and found that she would end up sitting alone in a children's park, seemingly in a daze.”

“Honami-chan…” Mizuki mumbled.

“So if we were to go look for Honami-chan, she would likely be there. I already got the location,” Minori said, “I made a promise to Haru-kun that we will bring her back.”

Nene paused on the sentence for a bit before nodding. “We will.”

She could hear Mizuki smiling as she started to speak up, “But first, we gotta come up with a way to get her to listen to us and not run away.”

“Oh don’t worry! I already got an idea!” Minori huffed.

As the girls started to chatter, Nene couldn’t get words to form in her mouth again but there wasn’t a feeling of dread anymore.

---

“You can hardly see them from here…”

Honami’s hand sprawled out towards the sky as she tried to reach the barely glimmering stars. The other hand was gripping on the jungle gym as she sat on one of the bars. The park was a bit farther away from the city lights so Honami only relied on the moonlight and the isolated street lights to see. In the void of darkness, she never felt so lonely, even under the company of the dim stars.

Saki and Ichika hadn’t reached out since they promised they wouldn’t bother her again. Shiho is just like she has always been since middle school. 

Any hope that the former childhood friends would get together again has completely dissipated. 

And the new friends she had made were now gone too.

Was it all worth it in the end…?

The brunette laid on her back, feeling the cold metal pressing against her spine. The crickets in the grass accompanied her silence, slowly providing slight relief from the harsh whispers that continue to haunt her. Honami sighed and began to close her eyes. She should be heading back but it was like her body was frozen.

She should just stay here forever.

“...ki…”

Honami’s eyes snapped open at the familiar voice. She looked down to find a figure running towards her from below the jungle gym. It was quite hard to make out their face in the dark but she automatically knew who they were.

“Tsuki!” Mizuki yelled again as she waved her hands in the air.

Chapter Text

Honami sat frozen as she watched the pink blur get closer and closer. She could practically feel her heart shoot out from her chest. Amia? What is she doing here!? The brunette instantly turned away from Mizuki and jumped down the jungle gym. She quickly stabilized herself on feet but before she could run away, two more figures ran up and jumped on her, tackling the poor girl into a hug.

“We got you…!” Nene and Minori yelled.

Honami stiffened. Mizuki… did she make her presence known on purpose…!? The brunette started to squirm in the two girl’s grip and she could feel their grips started to slip. If she had tried a bit more, she knew she would have forced herself out easily. But something had caught her eye which made her freeze.

Nene and Minori were wearing glasses. Both girls have perfectly fine vision so why…? Mizuki finally caught up to the rest of the girls and Honami could see her face clearly. Over her eyes, she was wearing a pair of glasses as well. Just what is…?

“We finally found you…” Mizuki sighed with a smile. Honami looked down and noticed that she was holding another pair of glasses close to her chest.

Honami wasn’t able to have enough time to dwell on their different appearances. The adrenaline of jumping off the jungle gym to originally try to escape Mizuki was still thumping in her heart. Any fight she had to try to shake Minori and Nene off of her was completely gone.

“W-what are you all doing here?” the shakened brunette finally mustered, “How did you know where I was?”

“That doesn’t matter right now!” Minori piped up from Honami’s side. Her voice was determined yet loud and it made the poor girl flinch. 

Honami began to tug at her arms again but Nene and Minori’s grips were still refusing to loosen. Panic started to rise in her stomach again. “P-please leave me alone…”

“We will after we finally get to talk to you again,” Mizuki said as she took a careful step forward. “We want to help you, Tsuki.”

Honami stiffened at Mizuki’s words and leaned back a bit. “Help me…?”

Mizuki nodded as she locked eyes with Honami. The girl in question tensed up. This fiery expression and stance was totally different than what the brunette encountered all those days ago. Any uncertainess that the pink girl had back then was all gone. “We may not know exactly what you’re going through. But I know that what you’re doing now isn’t the way to stop the pain.”

Stop the pain? “What do you mean?”

“What I’m saying is that Minorinrin, Pomelo, and I all want to help you no matter what it may be. We don’t want you to be alone in your troubles.”

Honami was silent as she took in what Mizuki said. There was something unsettling in this conversation. Back before they did offline meetings together, the girls had developed a habit of call each other by their usernames online. When they meet offline, they would use each other’s real names. But Mizuki hadn’t called Honami by her real name once. It was unsettling… yet also strangely comforting. Finally, she opened her mouth again.

“Why…?”

Mizuki immediately leaned forward. “Because we-!”

“That’ll only make things worse.”

Mizuki blinked. This time, Honami broke their eyes contact and looked away. 

“You were wrong that this way isn’t the right way.” she muttered.

“Huh…?”

“It’s working, don’t you know? I’m not alone. Hanasato-san probably told you but I have lots of friends at school,” The brunette forced a smile on her face. “What I’m doing is working. Things are fine right now.”

Even though there was subjectiveness in her words, her voice was strained, hesitant to even believe what she was saying. Just what is this? She thought that she finally was able to make her mind yesterday when Ichika and Saki agreed to cut her out the other day. So what’s with this feeling of doubt bubbling up in her chest again…?

“But… you’re still miserable, aren’t you?”

Mizuki’s voice cut through Honami’s spiral and the brunette froze. Maybe that was all it took. Just words of confirmation to hear from someone else. Something that could break down the shake walls that the brunette forced herself to build. From just a simple sentence, Honami felt something inside of her snap.

“Please let us help you, Tsuki,” Mizuki said again. This time, her voice was softer than before. But it still stung the same and Honami choked in her breath.

“I-I… I don’t know what to do anymore!” she let out a loud cry.

The three girls jump from shock. That got the brunette herself to tense up as well. No they can’t see her like this. Not after everything she had threw away to try to get them to stay back. She just can’t go back and experience anything like middle school ever again. She already knows what would happen to them if they ever tried to get involved. She knew perfectly well. 

So why was she still here with them?

And for these three, they each have their own heavy struggles as well. Honami just couldn’t help but notice it whenever they all went out together. So why were they all here willing to throw themselves towards Honami's feelings? Just why? Just… “... please leave and never contact me again…” Honami said in a low voice.

Mizuki just looked at her with a sullen expression. “Do you still want to disappear?”

Honami tensed up. Then, let out a breath. “It will be better if I would.”

“W-why would you say something like that!?” Nene suddenly cried.

The rest of the girls turn their heads towards Nene in disbelief. 

“There’s absolutely no way that disappearing would be better for you!” Nene continued as she tugged on Honami’s arm. “You were right. Disappearing had also been on my mind. I used to work so hard everyday to try to achieve my dream of becoming an actor one day. But just last year, I was able to get a lead role that everybody wanted to get. B-but… on the day of the perfomance, I forgot all my lines and ruined the whole play.”

“Pomelo…” Minori whispered.

“I ended up ruining a play that everybody had worked so hard for. It was not just that, but because I was casted in a role that everybody auditioned for, everybody started to resent me and bullied me for my ‘simple’ slip up. I wanted to disappear so bad,” Nene said. She then turned over to look at Mizuki. “But soon enough, I was able to mee Mizuki and she invited me to nightcord. Since that day, I had gotten better and I was able to be so much happier when I’m with all of you.” She turned back towards Honami and smiled. “And I want you to be happy with all of us as well.”

Nene was staring at the brunette with such warmth and it made Honami’s stomach start to churn. She could hear her heartbeats ringing in her ears as she felt herself start to suffocate.

“W-why did you tell me that?”

Nene’s smile quickly dropped.

“I don’t want to know…” Honami breathed shakily, “I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I DON’T WANT TO KNOW!” 

She tore Nene and Minori off from her arms and jumped back, crashing into the jungle gym behind her as she clutched her elbows. No. She can’t be listening to stuff like this anymore. Just what can she do? She can’t be trusted in handling other people’s worries. Even just listening to the stories is enough to hurt them. It’s so foolish. It’s so foolish for someone like Honami to-

“Tsuki…?” Nene said hesitantly. She was starting to shake as well. That sight made Honami flinch. What was she doing…?

“...Happy? I don’t deserve to be happy,” the brunette croaked. She trembled as she gripped the jungle gym bars. “I’m such a selfish prick. I made a huge mistake in middle school because I thought I could get along with everybody. But instead, I ended up hurting them and I got punished for it. It was so bad that my close friend almost got involved and I had to push her away to protect her.”

The other girls stood in silence as Honami started to cry.

The broken girl choked on her own words as tears streamed down her face. “...Who am I kidding? Protecting everybody? All I'm doing is pushing everybody away to prove my loyalty. Pushing anybody that could be used as a liability against me because of how much of a coward I am. In the end, I just can't handle it anymore. I don't want to go back." She covered her face as a desparate attempt to hide away. "Really, the only person I’m protecting is myself.”

Minori took a step forward towards Honami. “It doesn’t matter how selfish you are. We will not give up on you either way."

Honami stopped and found herself staring at the girl in front of her. Minori's gaze from her gray eyes almost felt like it was piercing through the taller brunette. It was almost frightening yet somehow alleviating.

"What?" Honami finally breathed.

Chapter Text

Mizuki blinked and turned towards Minori. 

The brunette had her hands over her chest as she stared at Honami in front of them. Her sudden words from before still hung in the air around the girls. 

“What… do you mean?” Honami started to muster. Her arms were still trembling as she gripped onto the jungle gym bars. “What do you mean about not giving up?”

“On wanting to be friends with you!” Minori exclaimed, “It doesn’t matter if you think you’re selfish or anything! We still want to be with you, Tsuki!”

Although the three had gone over what they were going to say to Honami before they jumped her, Minori’s voice was still able to ring in Mizuki’s ears. 

“Maybe we do get hurt along the way. But that’s what I’m willing to accept if it means that I can help you!” Minori continued, “If it doesn’t work. Then, I’m just going to try harder!”

“W-what are you saying…?” Honami breathed.

“It’s just like how an idol spreads hope,” Minori looked down at her hands that were held over her heart. “Before I saw Haruka-chan on screen all those years ago, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with myself in life. Everyday just felt like one unlucky day on another. But Haruka-chan became my driving force to move ahead in my life. I could finally see a hope for a better tomorrow. So…” Minori reaches her hand towards the shakened brunette. “I want to be that type of person for Tsuki as well!”

Mizuki watched as Honami bit down on her lip and looked away.

“I want to take the chance to believe that things will be okay if we push through this together with you. If you don’t want to talk to me at school, then that’s fine! I’ll just double my effort after it!” Minori let out a breath and clenched her jaw, anxiously waiting for Honami’s response.

But the girl didn’t say anything. It was enough to get Mizuki’s hairs on her arms to start to rise. Even Nene took a hesitant step forward, still shaken by her earlier encounter but still determined to push through all the same. 

“Tsuki…?” Nene whispered.

Honami flinched at the sound of her online username. “W-why do you all use…” She gulped down her words, seemingly deciding that she didn’t want to find out the answer to her question.

Mizuki could sense that it was a now or never opportunity to use Minori’s momentum and push forward towards Honami. “Minorinrin is right. We will be able to help you if we do this together.”

Honami's breath hitched and she slowly looked up at the girls again. 

“Hanasato-san… Haruka quit, didn’t she…? The brunette shakenly said.

Minori flinched at Honami’s stinging words.

“You’ve been really down ever since you heard the news…” Honami mustered, “You mentioned that she was the one who had given you hope. How can you still keep going even though it has all crashed down? Why stick to such a belief?”

Mizuki watched as Minori faltered for a bit. A familiar flicker to when they all first met offline. But that darkness was quickly gone as Minori shook her head.

“But that wasn’t the end of it! There’s always a chance to pick ourselves up again!” Minori grasped the cloth of her shirt in front of her chest. Her words were choked as if she was holding back tears. “Haruka-chan did quit being an idol. But I found out that she was still out there trying to give smiles to everybody. Just in a different way.”

“And I just think…” Minori twisted her shirt with her fist. “I just think that we can do the same thing as well!”

Honami bit down on her lip as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Her eyes darted between the three girls in an anxious pattern.

“Please let us help you, Tsuki…” Nene whispered, “Please don’t disappear…”

“...Stop it.” 

“Tsuki?” Mizuki said. A small frown started to form on her face as she reached her hand out towards the quiet girl.

“Stop trying to help me!” Honami cried. Tears finally broke free and began running down her cheeks. The distraught brunette immediately grabbed her face with both her hands to try to hide it. “Why can’t you all see it!? I’m an awful person who doesn’t deserve your help or kindness!”

She slid her back down against the jungle gym railing as her heels dug into the dirt. “Disappearing is the only solution for me.”

“That’s not true!” Mizuki exclaimed, “There’s always another one we can find! We just don’t know it yet!”

“PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!” Honami let out a choked sob. “I’ve tried everything and it just made things worse! I’ve tried! I’ve tried so hard! But I just can’t escape!”

The girl buried her face in her knees and broke down. “I just don’t want to deal with any of this anymore! All this pain… I can’t handle it any longer….” Honami let out wretched breaths and her fists clenched her skirt tightly, almost drawing blood from her palms. “I don’t want to stab people in the back whenever I try to help others. I don’t want to be a faker. A bootlicker. Someone who just plays sides whenever she feels like it. I don’t want to get constantly harassed whenever I just want to help. Everybody talks behind my back no matter what I do. Please… don’t give them another reason to continue.”

“Tsuki…” Her name just spilled out of Mizuki’s lips as she watched Honami shrink herself into a ball.

Honami tensed up at Mizuki’s voice and a tiny breath escaped her throat. “I-I just- I… I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. I don’t want to hurt people again. I thought I was protecting my friends when I pushed them away from my mess. B-but the look on their faces when they finally gave up on me made me realize that I still ended up hurting those that I love the most no matter what I do. No matter how hard I try I just can’t bring myself to let them go.” Honami looked up to reveal her reddened cheeks and puffy eyes. “Even though I’m doing whatever my classmates want. Even though I’m doing everything they can so they won’t turn on me. Even though I’m chatting with so many more people compared to middle school… I’ve never felt more lonely. Why am I even more lost than I was in middle school? What is friendship even supposed to be? Just… what am I supposed to do…?”

The three girls looked at each other. Their minds were at a loss on how to respond to Honami’s questions. What would they do in Honami’s situation? Would they be doing the same thing as her? Were they even the right people to help Honami if they themselves also cannot escape their unfair fates?

Mizuki blinked down at Honami. Ah… they really are alike after all. This desire to hide away from the world… Even though Mizuki could put on a cheery smile easier than in middle school, that itching feeling never went away. How can she help Honami if she still wasn’t able to save herself…?

“We really are the same…”

Rui’s light sad chuckle echoed in her head and it made Mizuki stagger a bit. She looked up and took in the cool breeze, similar to the one at the rooftop that day. It was able to clear her mind as memories of her recent conversation with her friend filled her head.

That’s right. Mizuki isn’t saved because she just wasn’t finished yet. The reason why she was able to still stand here today was because of someone like Rui by her side. Someone who also shared the same pain back in middle school. Those days where they simply sat in silence on the middle school rooftop were the small moments where the girl knew peace. But it was enough to help her take steps to be the person she wants to be today.

Mizuki lowered her head to stare at Honami. The girl was sitting in silence as she gazed past the three girls. Her face was slightly more relaxed compared to when they first caught her earlier. As if spilling out her troubles was enough to calm the girl down a bit.

Mizuki took this as a chance to finally speak to her again. “Remember when I said that the method you’re doing right now isn’t the right way?”

Honami paused and silently looked up at the pink girl. 

“Well…” Mizuki let out a small laugh, “I lied. I actually don’t know the right or wrong way to deal with this either.”

“Amia…?” Nene said as she stared at Mizuki’s back.

Mizuki took a step and crouched down to lock eyes with Honami. “I’m really just doing what I want to do instead.”

Honami’s lips parted as she couldn’t break eye contact with the girl. Confusion was plastered on her face. “...What do you mean?”

“I’m saying that we don’t have to find a solution right now. But I still don’t want you to be lonely anymore,” Mizuki gave the brunette a warm smile, “We can try to do whatever we can to keep your mind off things. If that doesn’t work, then we can try something else. Anything to try to ease your pain.”

Minori and Nene followed Mizuki and scooted closer to the girl as they listened to Mizuki’s words.

“You can keep running away. But you don’t have to run away alone anymore.” Mizuki took off her glasses to look at Honami properly. “We want to run away with you, Tsuki.”

Honami froze but she didn’t say anything.

“We can go on trips, go shopping, craft things together, go to a loud idol concert, game until the sun rises. Anything that will make you feel happy again,” Mizuki continued, not letting the momentum die down, “I made this group so everybody could have fun after all. I want to stick with that if I can.”

“But… it’ll be better for you all if I’m not there…” Honami softly whispered.

“That’s not true. It’ll never be the same without you, Tsuki,” Mizuki fidgeted with the glasses in her hand and held out the one that’s supposed to be Honami’s to her, “Your classmates don’t have to know about us and they won’t. This group can be our little secret.”

Honami blinked down at the glasses and then back at Mizuki. Realization started to flood her eyes. “So that’s why you all have been using our usernames instead of our real ones since you got here…”

“Of course!” Mizuki held her index finger over her lips and gave Honami a wink, “This and the glasses are all part of our disguises.”

Honami grimaced and stared down at her shoes. “Still… how could you say such a thing? How long can we keep running until any of us can’t run anymore?”

Mizuki’s throat started to clog. Was Honami still not convinced? She quickly opened her mouth to respond but Honami cut her off.

“What if… I hurt you too?” Honami’s throat croaked as she locked eyes with Mizuki. “Is it… really okay for someone like me to be with you all…? Am I someone you all genuinely want to be with even though I’m such a mess?”

Mizuki let out a huff and almost hesitated. It was like Honami was throwing her own words at her. Doubt started to fog her mind. Just like what Honami said, how long would Mizuki be able to run with them all. She quickly shook her head and clenched her hands over her knees as she looked back up at Honami. “Of course! I’m ready for it. Bring it on,” she said as she let out a toothy strained grin.

She still didn’t know if this was the right answer. But it is the only solution that Mizuki knows. Either way, she will make sure that Honami won’t suffer like how she did.

“We can take as long as you need to turn your smiles into real ones,” Mizuki finished. And my smile too.

Honami stared at Mizuki’s expression for a heartbeat or two before speaking again. “Akiyama-san…”

Mizuki immediately wagged her finger in front of Honami’s face. ‘Ah ah. Whenever we’re out, call me Amia from now on.” She pulled her hand back and gave Honami another smile. “Until you feel ready to use our real names.”

A stunned expression appeared on Honami’s face. “A-Amia…” she stuttered. The username spilled out of her lips as if she was unfamiliar with it.

Behind her, Mizuki could hear sighs of relief coming from Nene and Minori. For the first time, in days, the girls were able to relax their shoulders again. The pink girl herself could feel the uneasy air begin to lift and her strained smile turned into a proper one.

“Ah, that’s right!” Mizuki blurted out as she snapped her fingers, “You like apple pies don’t you, Tsuki?”

Honami stopped at Mizuki’s sudden question. “Y-yeah, that’s right.”

“Then, how would you feel about the idea of being able to eat apple pies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? You’ll be able to feel better in no time!”

Honami’s jaw fell from Mizuki’s wild comment. Then, a gentle laugh could be heard from the brunette. She didn’t try to hide her smile as it shined under the moonlight. “Breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Isn’t that a little excessive?”

“Doesn’t hurt until we try, don’t you think?” Mizuki let out a playful shrug but also quickly added, “If you’ll have us, of course.” 

Honami blinked before giggling again and light began to gather in her blue eyes. She looked up and made sure to give Amia, Pomelo, and Minorinrin a genuine smile through her tears.

“Okay… I’ll let you all run away with me.”

Together.

Chapter Text

“Meh!”

Mizuki sighed and plopped back on the karaoke couch as the final instrumental of Venom finished. “Phew! It feels so good to just sing your heart out!”

Honami stared at her with the karaoke microphone still in hand before putting it down to pick up a glass of water. Minori was excitedly scrolling through the playlist on the tablet, looking for a new song with Nene peering over her shoulder.

“You’re really good at singing, Aki- Amia,” Honami said.

“Hehe, that’s because I used to come to this karaoke often to sing along to a bunch of anime openings and idol songs,” Mizuki grinned as she held up a peace sign. “But you know, Tsuki, I don’t know why you were so hesitant on singing along with us earlier. You also sound really good!”

Honami said nothing again and opted to instead stare at the snacks sprawled out in front of them. For a while, it was just Minori gawking at the song selections as Nene would silently nod beside her. After Honami cried her eyes out, it didn’t feel right to just end the day there so Mizuki had suggested that the group should go to this 24 hour karaoke place. That way, they could properly hang out without anybody popping by. Although everybody is together again, there seemed to be an awkward air that still hung in the atmosphere.

Finally, Honami opened her mouth to speak again. “So… about… um…” The brunette looked down to fiddle with a pair of glasses that were almost stuck to her hands. “These…”

“Ah! Those were Minorinrin’s idea!” Mizuki said as she sat up from her seat, “She thought that maybe you would be more comfortable talking to us if we had disguised ourselves a bit. That way, your friends won’t be able to recognize us!”

“She… said that?”

“Mhm! They’re surprisingly effective so you don’t have to worry about being spotted by your friends either. It's perfect for our future offline hang outs,” Mizuki reached up to point at her eyes with a sly smile. “I had the idea of us wearing masks before but Pomelo made us wear glasses instead.”

Honami didn’t laugh at Mizuki’s joke and turned to stare at the other two girls who were still occupied with the karaoke tablet.

“Aaa there’s so many good songs I want to sing I just can’t choose!” Minori exclaimed. Her nose was scrunched up with a slight pout as she rapidly scrolled through the playlist. “How about we do this one next!”

“Minorinrin…” Nene murmured. “That’s the third Asrun song you chose today.”

Minori nearly threw the tablet across the room from the comment. “S-sorry! I got too excited that I didn’t notice!! I’ll keep looking!”

Nene blinked and then a small chuckle escaped her lips. “I didn’t mean that I was opposed to singing them with you.”

“Really!? Then…!”

Mizuki laughed at the two girls before turning back to Honami, lightly nudging her on the shoulder. “We should definitely come back some time. I didn’t know that everybody here has similar music tastes. Especially with Miku songs.”

Honami tensed up. “I-I wouldn’t say that I know that many Miku songs…”

“Yeah but most of the ones you know are old timeless classics! That’s something in my book!” Mizuki leaned over and grinned, “We should definitely get together to make an official hobbyist playlist sometime. I can introduce you to some more Miku songs!”

Honami looked down and gripped her glasses tightly before slowly nodding her head.

“Okay…”

---

Honami clenched her bag strap close to her chest as she stared up at the 1-B plate above her classroom. She closed her eyes and let out a wretched breath before sliding open the door.

“Good morning,” she said with a cheery smile.

Her two classmates, Ume and Renho, looked up at Honami as the brunette walked towards them. 

Ume immediately grinned at the sight of Honami and stood up from her seat. “Good morning, Mochizuki!”

Renho nodded at her as she set her phone aside. “You seem to be a bit happier today.”

The strained smile on the brunette's lips grew wider. “I-I am?”

“Yeah,” Ume added, “We were worried about you because we noticed that you had been very gloomy for the past few days…”

“Ah well…” Honami bit down on hard her lip and almost drew blood, “I’m sorry for making you two worry. But I got everything sorted now.”

Renho waved her hands to dismiss her apology. “It’s okay. As long as you’re fine now.”

Her warm words sent cold shivers down Honami’s spine.

Am I fine though…?

But before she could dwell on it any longer, a familiar voice from the halls made her ears perked up.

“Congratulations, Azusawa-san.”

Honami’s smile faltered as she turned towards the classroom window to find Minori, Shiho, and another girl walking down the hallway.

“Yeah! Congratulations, Kohane-chan!” Minori exclaimed excitedly as she clapped her hands together, “I’m glad that things are finally working out with your theatre troop! Plus, your hair is so cute now!”

“Eheh… thank you, you two,” Kohane chuckled as she reached up to shyly play with her shortened pigtails, “Oh! And congratulations to you too, Shiho-chan! I’ve already been looping your debut song since it dropped!”

Minori clenched her school uniform’s ribbon before letting out a breath and clapped her hands together. “I know right! It’s already in the karaoke booths I go too. It’s really amazing!”

“Ah… I’m surprised that it blew up so quickly.” Shiho touched the back of her neck and looked away, embarrassed. 

“The music video was amazing as well!” Kohane added, “The idol aura you had was so cool! I didn’t know you had that side to you.”

Shiho let out a sheepish smile. “Well, it’s mostly because I had a lot of training with onee-san. I wouldn’t have been able to have done it without her.”

“Oh yeah! Speaking of! Your sister and the other members are really cool as well!” Kohane tapped her chin in thought. “One of them composes your songs, right?”

Shiho nodded, “Yeah, her dad was a composer so she was able to pick up on some things and got the attention of the agency.”

“Oh yeah! And the other member’s dad used to be under a record label, right? That’s so cool… music really does run in the family…”

Minori felt her hand snaking towards her ribbon again.

“But anyway,” Shiho frowned at the two of them. “You better not play our songs in front of me or I won’t talk to you guys ever again.”

“Hehe, wouldn’t dream of it,” Kohane giggled.

“Yeah…” Minori faltered.

After all, I purposefully avoided that song at the karaoke yesterday.

“By the way, how are your idol auditions going, Hanasato-san?”

Minori almost stopped in her tracks and looked up to find the idol looking directly at her, patiently waiting for the brunette to answer. The girl felt her breath quicken and she quickly darted her eyes away.

“Ahah…” Minori gulped down her words and began to anxiously twiddle with her ribbon. "I… decided that I’m going to take a little break from applying…”

Kohane’s eyebrows furrowed a bit at Minori’s sullen statement.

“B-but that doesn’t mean I’m giving up!!” Minori stammered. “I-I just thought it would be a good idea to focus more on my training so I can be extra prepared for my next auditions!”

“Oh! I see!” Kohane smiled, “Good luck, Minori-chan!”

“You got this…” Shiho nodded, “I’m looking forward to working alongside you in the future.”

If that ever happens…