Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I cannot bear you a son

But I will try

For if I am not yours, what am I?

 

I daydream I'd give him a name of my own

For I, even mine, even mine is unknown”

 

“I’ve come to take Louis.”

At Claudia’s self assured statement Lestat gave a sardonic laugh, trying to cover up his nerves. Because Louis, his Louis wouldn’t leave at the whims of a child, right? He wouldn't just forget about their two decades of love, their marriage, right? No, he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. 

They would have a screaming match, say hurtful things to each other -Lestat was used to Louis’ cruel words by now, he could’ve handled it- Claudia would yell, maybe threaten to leave again but by the end of the night they all would come to a reluctant agreement. 

Now that Claudia saw just how vicious and dangerous the other vampires were, she would see that staying together was their best chance to endure the eternity. He was aware of his controlling, possessive and withholding ways but as long as he didn’t break Marius’ rules, hold his fledglings close and stay in America -where there were no vampire covens to hurt them- they would be safe.

“You think Louis is just going to leave everything he has built here and come with you to the unknown? And, pray tell, where will you go exactly?” While trying to look calm and collected, Lestat pushed away from the wall and slowly walked up to them. 

“Anywhere, everywhere we want. As far away from you as possible.” His sister, daughter, dark child replied with ire in her blazing red eyes.

Lestat felt warm blood tears gathering on his waterline, he hated when his body betrayed him and revealed the vulnerable side but still he braved a look onto his companion’s face.

“Louis.”

But Louis avoided his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest as if trying to add another barrier between them -everything about his body language was screaming I am going to leave you Lestat, I was merely waiting for our daughter to come back and now we are both leaving you forever.

“Louis, mon cher, talk to me!”

Lestat was losing his sarcastic, nonchalant demeanor; voice turning hysterical.

“What, you’re just going to up and leave me!” he finished his sentence with a frantic little laugh. 

Louis was looking everywhere but him, quilty eyes flitting around the room as if he was a child being scolded by his mother. Then his emerald eyes met Claudia’s red ones. And there it was, Lestat’s biggest fear coming to life right in front of his eyes. They were talking to each other; reading each other’s thoughts, fears, desires, dreams; coming to an understanding Lestat never would be able to- having a bond Lestat would never be a part of. 

And suddenly he wasn’t in Rue Royale; he was in Magnus’ tower standing with Gabrielle and Nicki and he was watching them have a conversation on their own. He was at Renaud’s Theatre watching his Nicki slowly but surely walk away from him, hatred smoldering, madness growing. He was in Egypt watching Gabrielle leave, holding the letter that brought him the news of his brothers’ demise. He was digging his own grave, trying to soothe the misery with the coldness of the soil; drowning under the dirt, panic, loneliness. He was in New Orleans and that same thich, sticky panic was rising in his chest, filling his lungs again.

“Louis! LOUIS!”

Lestat was frantically trying to get to his lover’s mind -voice pleading, threatening, desperate. 

Caludia gave him a self satisfied smile, as if she already won the battle he didn’t know they were fighting, and Lord, she was so much like him. He hated her. He loved her. Evil of my evil, my infant death. 

But he hadn’t shown all his cards yet. There was one more hand he could play to turn this night around. To keep Louis. He could reveal the precious secret he’d been keeping for some time now, and guarantee that Louis would stay with him. It wouldn’t be for love of course, and maybe Louis would resent him, despise him -even more than he already does now- but he would stay with them.  

His fingers itched to touch his still flat stomach. To touch the little life that’s been living in there, without knowing how much power it held. The little life that has come into being in the most unromantic way.

Couple of weeks ago; Louis, filled with worry for Claudia and resentment towards Lestat and Lestat, full of frustration and desperate to keep Louis from leaving or walking into the sun, had come together in a quick and rough coupling. 

A coupling that’d left both of them feeling empty and misused. With the great chasm between them bigger than ever, they hadn’t been able to look at each other’s faces for a while. 

By the time Lestat realized that he was now sharing his body with a little intruder, they had been ignoring each other and that night for so long that even the silver tongued Lestat de Lioncourt was not able to find the words to explain the situation. 

Would Louis even believe him or just ignore him thinking this as one of Lestat’s ploys to gain his attention? Lestat hadn’t even explained to him that while in some instances some vampires had been able to bear or sire children, it was such a rare gift that both of them having it was near impossible. But apparently, God or whatever was up there, was having too much fun with fucking up Lestat’s life. And apparently, they both did have the same, compatible rare gift and apparently his stupid body chose the worst possible moment to get pregnant. 

 If only this could’ve happened before Caludia left, or even better, before he turned Claudia, before Antoinette, before Louis left his human diet, before all this resentment and anger between them started to murk up their love.

Once again life had thrown him into an impossible situation and once again Lestat de Lioncourt was going to survive it. If not for himself, for the innocent soul inside of him. 

Louis was going to do what he always threatened Lestat with and run off to Europe, leaving Lestat behind. But it wasn’t just gonna be him left behind, Louis was going to abandon his child too. Claudia, the little devil, wasn’t only taking away his husband, no, she was also stealing a father from his child, she was stealing a sister from that little soul by leaving them. 

This thought suddenly filled him with rage. He wanted to shake Louis till he looked into his eyes and listened to him; till he accepted the unbreakable, invisible bond between them -between the all three of them. He wanted to tear Claudia into pieces, wanted to make her disappear along with all the loathing in her eyes. Wanted to make her look up to him as a parent again, as someone she cared for and loved. Wanted to see the awe and longing in Louis’ eyes, just like during their courting days. He wanted to  chain them to this damned house and he wanted to cry and beg them to stay with him.

With blazing eyes Lestat took a step towards Claudia to… to do what he wasn’t sure. What could he possibly do to make them love him again? No love wasn’t the right word but maybe he could make his presence tolerable again. What could- 

Well probably nothing anymore, from the way Louis stepping in front of Claudia in a protective manner -daring Lestat to raise a hand against her- Lestat could see that there was nothing he could do. His Louis believed he would hurt them, didn’t even consider an alternative. He fully believed he was going to hurt Claudia and like every good parent would, tried to put a barrier between them. He had lost them. Lestat truly had lost them.

He gazed into the beautiful emerald eyes he fell in love with all those years ago and saw nothing but hostility. He could prove them right, of course, he could play the monster they believed him to be. He was the older, stronger vampire here. He could break their bones and make sure they couldn’t leave the house or if he had a stronger mind gift he could even erase this night all together. 

But was that the kind of a father he wanted to be? A man who ruled his house with an iron fist, kept his wife just because she had nowhere else to go, gained his children’s respect by dangling a title over their heads, shut down any opposition with beatings and punishments?

No. Lestat was the last de Lioncourt man alive and he wasn’t going to continue the family legacy. He wasn’t going to be his father, cruel and selfish and he wasn’t going to be his mother, distant and cold. He would be a different thing to that child, a better thing. And he would do it all alone. 

No need to tell Louis now, no need to burden him with this. Besides this child already had an unfortunate start to their life, no need to curse them further with a parent who can barely tolerate the other and a sister who’s plans they ruined simply by existing. 

With fire going out of his eyes, he took a step back. “So this is it? You’re leaving with her?”

Finally Louis spoke, “You knew this was always going to happen Lestat. I can’t lose her again, I need her and she needs me.” There was still a sliver of guilt in his eyes, but guilt for what? For breaking his promise to stay with him and be happy for you, for her? 

I need you too , wanted to scream Lestat. But what worth need had against want ? His fledglings believed they didn’t need him anymore and well, Lestat was beginning to think that they never wanted him in the first place.

Very well, no need to prolong the inevitable then. The sooner the pain comes, the sooner he could endure and put it behind.

“Well then, bon voyage!” There was a sardonic tilt to his lips, face- a mask of indifference. Yes he could do this, he was good at putting on masks. “I hear Italy is great this time of the year, you should definitely give a try to their wines-”

“Cut the crap Lestat, what are you playin’ at?” Oh, his act was giving uneasiness to Claudia.

“Nothing, my little devil, I am merely giving you some travel tips.” He was so close to the door now, if only he could get out and lift up to clouds and scream out all his agony…

“So you think us stupid enough to believe that you’re just what… letting us go, just like that?” Louis, Louis, Louis, always ready to doubt Lestat’s love. But was there an ounce of disappointment in his voice? Did he want Lestat to fight for him or did he simply wish to take some pleasure from making him beg? Could his saint be this cruel?

“You both claim I’m this cruel jailer and you yourselves are prisoners but now, when I open the doors for you to run, you act all annoyed. I don’t understand what you wish for me to do?”

“We don’t trust you Lestat, how do we know you’re not gonna follow us or-”

“Frankly, my dear Claudia,” he was getting really agitated now, she had won, Louis was leaving him, why couldn't she just pack her damn bag and leave? 

“There is nothing I can do about that, however I’ll do this, for the next couple of days I will be staying somewhere else so you can pack whatever you need to pack, and leave, in peace.” Before Claudia could spit out other doubtful scenarios, he finished his words while looking at Louis, possibly for the last time. “I know you probably have endless hateful memories about me but, please if you are going to remember one good thing, remember this, mon cher; We are joined by a cord you cannot see but it is real, whether you like it or not. And know this, I have loved you with all my self. I really did.” 

And I always will, he couldn’t add. Without giving them a chance to reply, Lestat left Rue Royale. He would never see them again. Would never touch his Saint Louis’ beautiful face, never share the joy of a hunt with Claudia, never be a part of their family again. He thought he knew heartbreak but apparently there was no limit to pain.

After flying, screaming and crying among the clouds for who knows how long, Lestat found a secluded forest. He was so tired and the dawn was right around the corner. I am just going to rest for a while, this is just for one night was what he was promising to himself while digging the cold soil. 

With tears still fresh on his cheeks, Lestat de Lioncourt went into the ground.

Chapter Text

"But if I am not yours, what am I?
I daydream I'd give him a name of my own
For I, even mine, even mine is unknown"

Agony.

Hunger.

Cold.

These were the first things Lestat felt when he came to his senses. He lied still for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. The events that led him to this muddy hole, creeped up on him, slowly at first. Then all of a sudden, Lestat de Lioncourt was aware of these things:

Firstly, he was under the ground, and he tried to move his arms- yep, and he was too weak to claw his way to the surface.

Secondly; his love, his husband had left him.

Thirdly; he was in excruciating pain and he was fairly certain that the wetness he felt between his legs was his own blood.

And his last realization came with great panic; he was about to lose his baby.

***

Armand le Russe -or Amadeo or Arun, depending on which century one was in- was considering breaking the fifth law. 

He was currently hunched over his desk reading ,or more likely rewriting, Sam’s latest play. If he were to sacrifice one more red pen to this useless play he was going to burn the theater with himself in it. He was supposed to give the play just a once over and then carry out his more important duties as the coven leader. 

Last night he had felt the presence of two unknown vampires in his city and tonight he was planning to discreetly observe them. The theater could use some fresh blood, considering how uninspired they had been lately. But that was gonna have to wait for another night, with a deep sigh Armand picked up his pen–

Armand!

Pen snapped in his hand. Red ink had splattered on his hand, looking eerily like blood.

Was that..? Could it be? 

It had been more than a century since he last heard that voice. A lot less than a century since he last thought about the owner of the voice, though. Maybe less than a day, but that was no one's business of course.

Lestat?

He waited for a response. Was that some kind of a joke? What kind of a sick game that brat was playing?

Lestat, is that you?

He was about to close his mind and curse Lestat’s name for the foreseeable future but suddenly a shaky, terror-stricken voice echoed in his mind.

Armand? Armand! There’s so much blood. So much blood and I can’t fucking move! And I… I can’t feel them. Armand, I can’t feel them! And I’m stuck, you, you need to get me out of here. Please I-please get me out of here-

Lestat! Calm yourself! 

Armand had to use his all-seeing, all-knowing coven leader voice -the voice he usually reserved for a frightened fledgling or an annoying Santiago- in order to make sure Lestat was focused.

Take a breath and try to envision where you are. I will find you.

I… I don’t know where I am. I was, I was flying then I felt tired but-

Lestat, just think about the last thing you saw. Alright? Don’t panic, just think and I will come to you. I will.

While Lestat was projecting his whereabouts to him, Armand quickly got out of his office and found a secluded spot to fly off.

***

Lestat was beside himself with fear. Armand said he would come but with every passing second he was losing hope. What reason did he have anyway? After their tumultuous history, why would he come to his aid now? 

He thought about the last time he saw him. Lestat was in a carriage with Gabrielle, departing from Paris and Armand seeing them off; his angelic face was a mask of apathy though his blazing orange eyes had betrayed him and were filled with longing and resentment. 

Years of traveling with Gabrielle, receiving the news about Nicki’s passing, learning Armand’s part in it, losing his brothers, parting from Gabrielle, meeting Marius… Lestat had let the chaos dull the memory of that fiery eyed, desperate, forlorn boy and let the passing time lock his feelings inside an iron box.

Coming to the new world and getting surrounded by New Orleans’ enthralling nightlife had made it very easy to forget, to conceal. The city had bewitched him with its art, violence, unpredictability. Lestat was infatuated by the mortals walking along the river, gambling in the casinos, drinking and singing and fighting on the streets.

That city had given him his Saint Louis and his dark child Claudia and a home, a makeshift family. And just like every happiness in Lestat’s life, that too hadn’t been able to stand the test of time. 

Thinking about Louis and Claudia, brought him another wave of pain. A very physical one. He felt more blood spilling out, soaking the soil beneath him. Armand wasn’t going to show up. He was alone here, stuck in the darkness. He desperately needed fresh air, even though he hadn't needed oxygen since the 18th century. 

He started to hyperventilate; he was crying, screaming, clawing the dirt around him– then suddenly, the darkness gave way to the night sky. 

He was being lifted up from what was going to be his own accidental grave, being gently placed on the cold, solid earth. He managed to open his eyes just a sliver and there he was, Armand, looking down at him with worry and holding him in his arms like a dashing hero from those Harlequin romances mortal women loved to read.

He held up Lestat with one arm and brought his other arm to his mouth, fangs breaking the delicate brown skin and a dizzying smell of ancient blood filled the air. Lestat made a confused sound.

“Drink,” coaxed Armand with a soft whisper. “You are starving and you are hurt. Drink, my darling, it’ll be alright just drink.”

And Lestat drank the heavenly blood as if it were the sweetest mead he ever tasted. With every sip he was being filled with life, his pain was withering into a harmless nothingness. 

He kept drinking and Armand kept muttering soothing endearments to him all the while gently rocking him in his arm. Once he deemed Lestat had enough, he pried away his wrist from his eager mouth. 

With the impending doom gone, Lestat was suddenly being crushed under the enormity of his emotions. He started sobbing uncontrollably while muttering unintelligible words and clinging to Armand. Armand just held him to his chest and let him cry, let him pour out all the distress and heartache he felt.

When he felt Lestat’s tears come to a halt, he took his face in hands and tenderly brushed away the blood tears.

“Hi.” Armand greeted with a small smile. “Feeling any better?”

“You… you are truly here. You came.” said Lestat in an amazed tone. He was struggling to believe the fact that Armand hadn’t only come to save him but he also let him drink from him too.

“Well you called, haven’t you?” Armand replied in a casual manner. As if this was something they did every day. As if he didn’t just save Lestat’s and his unborn child’s life. As if he saw him just last week and not last century. As if they never hurt each other in horrible ways. As if… as if he still loved him.

“Let’s get you home, we can talk later.” 

***

When Armand brought him home, they found the house empty of its previous owners and their belongings. It was a curse and a blessing at the same time. They were truly gone but at least it spared him the embarrassment of being seen this weak.

After drinking some fresh human blood and taking a very embarrassing shower, where he needed to hold onto Armand because his legs were too shaky, Lestat had been able to get some sleep. 

Now with a clear mind and a healthy looking tint to his skin Lestat was ready to face Armand. He found him in the library.

“So, you are still desperate for me as always, it seems.” Well straight to the point apparently.

Armand gave a startled chuckle. “So, you are tactless as always, it seems.”

Lestat opened his mouth to give a sarcastic retort but Armand stopped him with a raised hand. “I am not here to quarrel with you Lestat. And I am not here to gloat over what happened with your fledglings either. He is clearly a fool for leaving you, especially in this condition.” He glanced at Lestat’s stomach. 

Lestat tilted his head curiously. “Are you not going to deny what I just said?”

Armand’s neutral expression crumbled and a rueful look took its place. “When have I ever tried to conceal my affections for you? I wanted you a century ago and I want you still, Lestat.” His eyes were flitting around the room, as if he were afraid to look at Lestat’s and find mockery in them. 

“I asked you to stay with me in Paris or to take me with you. You refused me and left me behind. I am not going to let myself get ridiculed like that again.” He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and looked at Lestat with a determined expression. 

“I have come to your aid because I could not fathom the thought of leaving you to suffer like that but I’m not going to ask you to stay with me again. If you’ve changed your mind since then, you need to ask me to stay this time.”

Lestat was speechless. To hear someone confess their feelings plainly and easily, to watch them offer their scorned heart with a generous determination was not something he was accustomed to. In the decades he spent with Louis, he had learned to live with the crumbs of affection. He had gotten used to feeling inadequate and dispensable. His love was always too much, too intense and Lestat himself was never enough to make him happy. 

Even after he gave him the daughter Louis begged for, even after that, he still wasn’t Louis’ family. He hadn’t realized how sick he had gotten of Louis’ resentful and guarded eyes until he was looking into Armand’s passionate ones. 

Armand couldn't stand Lestat’s silence any longer. With a self deprecating smile on his lips he quietly muttered. “I see. I shall take my leave then.” And started to walk out of the library.

“Paris is out of the question, I hope you know that.” 

Armand halted in his path upon hearing Lestat’s words. He tilted his head toward him but didn’t turn back, afraid of his heartbreak showing on his face.

“What?”

“I mean you already spend way too much time in that city and I am not going back to the theater, I’ll have you know. My latest passion is music.” Lestat said flippantly.

“Also I have a great suspicion that… that their next stop will be Paris so…” He clapped his hands together like an excited child. “It is decided. We won’t be moving to Paris.” 

Then he added while roaming his eyes around the dirt and clutter that had filled the library -and the whole house really- during the years Louis played detective, with a sour face. “Of course the house could use some cleaning before its ready to raise a child in it but–”

“Lestat,” Armand cut him off impatiently. “Are you, are you saying what I think you are saying?” He still wore a guarded expression, afraid of being the subject of a twisted joke.

“We would destroy each other had we gotten together back in Paris.” Lestat answered in an affectionate voice, his face was devoid of any trace of mirth now, only tenderness remained. “You were looking for someone to worship not a companion and I was still too young, too reckless and Nicki’s pain was too fresh. We would burn each other and everyone around us down.” 

He walked up to Armand and the knuckles of his right hand swiped over his cheekbone to his jawline then his hand found a home in the soft space between his neck and shoulder. 

Armand swayed under his touch for a moment and with closed eyes and a ragged breath he asked, “And now? You think we won’t be burning this time?”

Lestat huffed out a laugh, hand still caressing the soft skin. “Oh, we will definitely be burning but I think the fire will be more controlled.” He looked down at the newly formed tiny curve, Lord he had been under that ground for a while huh, and caressed it with his other hand. “It has to be a very very small fire cause, you see, I can’t afford to burn down myself or anyone else anymore.”

Armand fluttered open his eyes and raised Lestat’s head with a finger under his chin, to look down into his eyes with determination. “I am not going to let anything happen to you or him. I will protect you both, you have my word alright?”

Lestat curled up his lips, “Him, huh? You think it’s gonna be a boy, doctor Armand?”

“Shut up, it was just a feeling okay?”

Once their laughter died they looked at each other with serious eyes. 

“So now that you are staying with me, what are you going to say to the coven? Who will be the new maitre?” Lestat said the last word in a mocking tone, the theater and their over dramatic antics were always going to be hilarious to him.

“Am I leaving the coven? Huh, funny thing, but I don’t remember being asked to leave Paris and stay here, with you.” Armand said with fake innocence.

“Oh my God, you are so annoying.” with a roll of his eyes Lestat grabbed Armand by the lapels of his shirt. “Armand, I want to give this a try and I want you to stay with me here. Will you stay?”

The moment question left his lips, Armand swooped Lestat into a passionate kiss. He gripped Lestat’s slender waist, trying to bring him closer, closer and closer and one of Lestat’s hands found its way into his hair while the other one was over his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat. With their fervent kisses, they were both trying to convey all the feelings they kept to themselves for over a century.

They spend the rest of the night like this. With languid, gentle kisses that promised a thousand more. With sharp, fast bites that revealed their years-long hunger. With wandering hands and reserved touches, they tried to get acquainted with each other's skin. With whispered promises and hushed voices, they opened their hearts.

This thing that they had, this precious thing, was way too fragile for them to do anything more than giving reverent kisses to one another and whispering reassurances. Surrounded with one another’s presence and legs intertwined, they welcomed the dawn in Lestat’s coffin.

***

Many moons, weeks, days went by in this bubble they created against the world.

Armand went back and forth between Paris and New Orleans, he had to get the coven ready for his departure. He needed to get his finance in various French banks in order, transfer some of his funds to America, open a new account for the baby - for the little boy he’d said the first time he mentioned setting up a bank account for the baby, prompting a very hormonal and a very almost-five-months-pregnant Lestat to have a crying fit saying you don’t know if it’s going to be a boy, what if it’s a girl and she’s resenting us right now-.

He revised the latest plays, had countless meetings with coven members, and tried to explain his retirement without giving out Lestat’s name. Choosing the new coven leader, surprisingly, had been the easiest part of the whole ordeal. Santiago was more than eager to be the next maitre, and jumped at the opportunity with one condition. He told Armand to cut the bullshit and tell the reason behind his frequent travels to America . Suppressing the desire to rip out the stupid buffoon's tongue, Armand told him and only to him about his little -dare he say- family.

Of course, there was the matter of Louis and Claudia to deal with. When Armand went back to Paris after the night Lestat called for him, his coven greeted him with two vampires who stumbled upon the theater: Louis and Claudia de Pointe du Lac. 

They introduced themselves as brother and sister, innocent fledglings running away from their cruel maker, Bruce. Armand knew the truth of course, but it was fun to watch them lie and fumble through their story. So this is the Louis, thought Armand when he saw him. 

He was a handsome man, nicely built, prominent cheekbones, well-shaped lips, melancholic eyes, a gloomy complexion. Lestat’s type, thought to himself while remembering Nicolas. I could’ve fallen for him, if I hadn’t given my heart to Lestat all those years ago. 

Maybe in another life he could’ve felt something other than contempt for this man. But right now, whenever he looked at him, all he could think was Lestat’s red rimmed eyes and grief stricken face. Du Lac was the reason for his beloved’s pain, du Lac and his so-called sister. And if it were up to him he would’ve broken their scrawny necks at the first convenient moment but he’d made a promise to Lestat.

He’d promised to a teary eyed Lestat, one night after a terrible nightmare, to take his fledglings under his protection if or when they ended up in Paris. And he kept his promise. He gave Santiago strict orders regarding their safety, welcomed them to the coven, taught them the Great Laws.

And when he finally put his affairs in order, he went to his home . Opened the townhouse’s door with the key Lestat gifted him as a sign of… something -Armand was pretty sure it was meant to show some kind of commitment for their future but he was afraid to break the spell by speaking too openly about it- after their first time together. 

***

It was a quiet evening, Armand was writing a letter for one of his lawyers in France and Lestat was working on a composition for the baby. It’s going to be his first lullaby, he had said with a soft expression and Arman hadn’t dared to point out his usage of the word his. One wouldn’t want to risk angering a pregnant Lestat de Lioncourt. 

Lestat was well into his second trimester now -5 months and 8 days, to be precise and Armand was very very precise about the pregnancy- and leaving him constantly to travel back to Paris was getting harder and harder for Armand. For both of them really. 

Every time he said goodbye to Lestat in the hallway of their house -after giving him lingering kisses on his lips and on his forehead and on his ever growing baby bump- Armand would notice Lestat’s eyes getting tinted with a light pink color and he would pretend not to notice, of course, he was a gentleman. 

He knew that there were things they weren't able to confess to themselves and to each other yet. For example, in all the 2 months and 8 days they spent together, they never uttered the word love. Armand was ready to make the confession on the day he rescued Lestat from the ground but Lestat, fresh out of a relationship -fresh out of a marriage , a marriage that should've ended years ago really- wouldn’t be ready for the intensity of his feelings. 

So Armand waited. And he was happy to continue his waiting that evening too but then Lestat uttered the words that changed the course of the whole night.

“Armand, Armand, come here!”

Based on the shock in his voice and startled expression on his face, Armand had assumed the worst and was kneeling by his side in a second. His nervous but steady hands were roaming over his body, trying to find the reason for his distress.

“What happened? Are you in pain?-” 

“Armand-” 

“I don’t smell any blood,” 

“Arma-” 

“so that should be goo-”

“ARMAND!”

Startled, Armand stopped looking for an injury and lifted up his face to Lestat, finding a blinding smile instead of the painful grimace he was expecting. “I- what, what’s happening right now?”

As an answer Lestat just took his hand and pressed it to the side of his newly-rounded belly, he was looking at Armand with expectation and an enthralling smile.

 At first Armand didn't understand what was going on and sadly was about to ask Lestat again but then- Then he felt it. Felt him. A tiny movement beneath his palm. A flutter under the smooth, pale skin of Lestat’s stomach. Like a pulse, like a butterfly. An incessant, steadfast, life altering movement. Blood of his beloved’s blood, his moving little limbs were right under his palm.

Armand gave a loud, wet laugh- he’d lost the ability to keep his emotions under control- and his orange eyes, brimming with red tears, met Lestat’s own weeping blues. 

Then between wet laughs, while crouching near the piano and holding Lestat’s stomach with one hand and wiping his own tears with the other, Armand blurted out. “I love you, I love you so fucking much.”

Oh no.

Way to ruin the moment Amadeo.

Naturally Armand was about to spiral, he was about to throw himself into the nearest incinerator, he was about to panic- He was panicking but before he could manage to get up and run away from the mess he created for himself, Lestat pulled him into a searing kiss. 

The angle was awkward, with Lestat’s belly between them and Armand half reaching up half crouching, but the kiss itself was everything. It contained everything they’d been feeling until this day and those three little words Lestat still wasn’t ready to utter after Louis. 

Never the matter. Armand didn’t need to hear them, he was currently feeling them. In the way Lestat was gripping his hair, in the way his tongue was battling with his, in the way he was making little noises whenever Armand gave little bites to his spit slick lips. Armand was feeling loved.

So he had done it. He had confessed his love. 

Now it was time to show that love.

He gently gripped Lestat by his waist and lifted him up from the piano bench. Standing with Armand’s arms around Lestat, Lestat’s hands gripping Armand’s head and the moving baby between them, they parted with heaving chests. 

“Just to clarify something,” panted out Lestat, his bitten lips just a breath away from Armand’s puffy ones. “That sentence was directed towards me and not to my child right? You weren’t just being all parental and childish and talking to an unborn child, right?”

Insufferable, infuriating, aggravating. 

But that was the man Armand chose to fall in love with more than a century ago. He had only himself to blame, really.

“You maddening brat,” Armand growled out and lifted up Lestat swiftly, causing him to wrap his legs around him for balance. He traveled to the bedroom with his vampire speed and carefully laid him down on the sheets. He stood at the foot of the bed and began to slowly open the buttons of his shirt.

“But,” said Lestat while following Armand’s movements with sultry eyes. “You love this maddening brat, you said so yourself.” 

“I really do,” Armand gave a light hearted chuckle. “God help me, I do.”

Then dropped his shirt to the floor and crawled over to Lestat, caging him between his arms. 

“Are you sure you want this?” he asked in a serious tone. This was important to him, he needed to hear it loud and clear. They had suffered too much at the hands of uncaring, merciless men in their past. They both needed the tenderness, the enthusiastic consent, to feel their own agency.

“Yes, more than I can express right now I think.” replied Lestat. Eyes gazing into Armand’s appreciatively, understandingly. He lifted his left hand, brought it to his own lips first- giving it a little kiss, then brushed those fingertips on Armand’s prominent cheekbones, parted lips, fluttering eyelids. 

Then he cupped the side of Armand’s face with his hand. “Are you? Do you want this?”

Armand closed his eyes, nuzzling into his hand, then gave a self deprecating chuckle. “I’ve been wanting this since the 18th century Lestat.”

This brought the mischief back onto Lestat’s face. “That’s an awfully long time to wait darling. We have to rectify the situation immediately.” He slowly directed Armand’s lips to his own.

“If you would be so kind.” Armand whispered before their lips crashed for the second time that night.

And for the next couple of hours they had no use for words. They took their time getting the other rid of his clothes. Then got acquainted with each other’s bodies through featherlight touches, fervent kisses, amazed glances, unbridled moans.

Armand spent what felt like hours while opening Lestat and Lestat decided that his tongue, my Lord that tongue , deserved to have at least ten songs written about it. 

And when they finally started to make love, when Armand found his home in Lestat’s body, Lestat felt like a God. He was being worshiped by his lover, he was feeling adored- not like a burden or a chore. This was a feeling he hadn’t felt in a depressingly long time.

He didn’t had to beg for attention, he didn’t even had to do all the work in bed. In fact right now he didn’t had to do anything at all. Armand was melting him and reshaping him with precise and maddening movements. 

He was above him, inside him, caging him with his body, surrounding him with his smell… He was everywhere, he was everything. And Lestat was losing himself in this reverence, in a way he never did with his previous lovers.

After they both found their release Armand gently cleaned him and laid down with him to welcome the approaching day. He had laid down behind Lestat to take him in his arms and-

Oh.

Oh , he thought while lying in Armand’s arms, feeling his warm, steady breath at the back of his neck. So this is how it’s supposed to feel like. Being held by someone who truly loves you, who makes sure you don’t spend a minute without knowing the magnitude of that love. 

Going to sleep with the knowledge that when you wake up he will be there, right by your side. Someone who’s going to listen to your spiteful words and look at your grotesque face with his own matching insults and screwed up features and someone who’s going to hold your hand when the violence ends. Someone you could show your most vile parts to and not be afraid of them leaving because you’ve seen their most repulsive parts too, and never turned away.

A beautiful devil, a wretched angel who’s going to love you for the monster that you are, love you for the fragile human underneath. Who can love us, you and I, as we can love each other? Armand had whispered to him a century ago and during their love making. Two vastly different circumstances but the meaning still held. 

Did Armand know how true those words were? Did he know how Lestat searched for love in all the wrong places for decades and came up empty handed every single time? Did he know how no one, monster and human alike, could love him in the twisted, obsessive, all-encompassing way he craved to be loved? Did he know how Lestat adored him, how he loved- 

He never said it, did he? All night spent in the thrones of passion and he couldn't even muster up the courage to say it back. Well this wouldn’t do. He had seen first hand, what not being loved back by your companion would do to a person.

Lestat quickly turned to face Armand, looked at his serene, happy face. 

“I love you too, you know that right?”

Armand’s eyes widened as if he didn’t expect to hear those words yet or at all. Lestat laid a lingering kiss on his brow. “You should know.”

“I do.” replied Armand, pressing their foreheads together. “I do know, my beloved.”

***

When he entered the house he found Lestat sitting on his favorite armchair in front of the fire, he’d gotten more susceptible to getting cold as the pregnancy progressed, and balancing a book on his seven months pregnant belly. He watched his companion with fondness for a while. His eyes drinking in the sight of glowing blonde curls, smooth planes of his peaceful face, amused tilt of his pink lips, his softened figure, curve of his swollen belly… 

The curve that held their- the child, that held the child underneath it. He had done it again. He’d been catching himself doing this more and more lately. Slipping up, losing himself in the fantasy, calling the baby their child in his mind. Desire to proclaim the little boy as his son, desire to make their family a real one was getting harder to conceal. 

Ever since the day he felt his strong, little kicks under his palms -ever since he felt his tiny presence inside Lestat, if he was being honest with himself- he'd been burning with the desire to be a part of his life. 

Armand never saw himself as a fatherly figure before, a vampire, especially a vampire with his upbringing couldn’t be a good parent, a parent at all, after all. He even refrained from making fledglings. But he still wondered… What would it be like to have a child run to his embrace during a fearsome storm, to see little eyes look up at him curiously, to hold and cherish them and give them the childhood he never had?

He managed to hide his heart’s wishes fairly well for the past few months, what with constantly traveling to and from Paris and all. But now the birth was only two months away and Lestat was getting rounder and rounder every day. It was going to be difficult to stop himself from just taking Lestat into his arms, ask him to be his eternal companion, his husband , and beg him to let Armand be a father to his baby. 

He wasn’t above begging, no, not when it came to his delinquent angel, his beautiful brat. But this, this precious thing they built together, it was carefully balanced on unfinished promises of future, vague declarations and unmentioned names of two vampires. It would be so easy to disturb the carefully constructed harmony of their home. 

And Armand had always been a coward. Always searching for someone to follow, always terrified of losing the sliver of happiness he managed to scrap for himself, always devoting himself too much for the fear of not being enough. And Lestat was… well, he always wanted too much, acted too brash, shined too bright. He was the amalgamation of every heavenly and unattainable thing Armand could ever wish to possess.

Lord, even when he was puking his guts out -covered in blood and tears, screaming at Armand that I swear this baby is trying to kill me- he still managed to look somewhat alluring to Armand. It could be his helpless heart’s doing but Armand was fairly certain that it was Lestat’s inability to look unattractive. 

With a fond smile on his face he walked up to him.

“Guess who just finished his last meeting with his lawyers?”

Lestat lifted his head from the book with a beaming smile. “Are you serious?”

“Dead serious.” Armand replied to his excited lover.

“Oh my-this calls for a celebration,” he said while trying to rise from his chair, “help me up,” Armand was already by his side, helping him up. “We should do something, a party, maybe a vacation-”

“I am deeply sorry to remind you that both of those things are impossible in your condition.”

Lestat pouted, “You are no fun.”

Armand huffed out a laugh at his grumpy lover’s antics. “I’ll be fun when you start seeing your own feet again.”

 Lestat hit his chest weakly but with an incredulous expression. “Are you calling me fat Monsieur?”

“Never. I wouldn’t even dream of it, love.” he answered placatingly. “C’mon,” he gave a kiss to his temple and steered them toward the bedroom. “If you want to celebrate so much, I know a way we can start the celebrations.” 

Lestat grinned slyly. “You little imp.” But followed him eagerly, nevertheless.

***

Armand was steaming with anger.

Silently, calmly, without alerting Lestat.

“You are gonna need to calm down eventually, you know that right?” Alright maybe he wasn’t doing so good at the not alerting Lestat part.

“You cannot threaten her with poking her eyes out if you are going to ask for her help.”

“Since when are you the calm, responsible one?” said Armand with a sigh. 

He was just on the phone with one of the Mayfair witches, couldn’t remember which one and well maybe that was a part of the problem too, trying to hire her as the midwife for the birth. And apparently wanting her to put her whole life on hold and live in New Orleans until the birth, and maybe after the birth in case of any complications occurring, was too much.

Well maybe he was a little bit overbearing but birth was less than a month away. And Armand was beside himself with worry and excitement and worry and mostly worry and also worry.

Vampire pregnancies were rare, male vampire pregnancies were even more rare, they were in uncharted waters. And Armand absolutely detested uncharted waters. 

He was supposed to be the man with the plan. He was supposed to be Lestat’s rock. He should've been the one calming Lestat, not the other way around. But here he was, walking up to him -waddling up to him, more like, while holding his heavy stomach- to take Armand into his arms.

“Since I’m carrying a whole another being who depends on me to survive.” Lestat answered, trying to soothe Armand. “And if I say it’s gonna be alright, it is going to be alright.”

“How do you know?” Armand said like a petulant child, pushing the conversation just for the sake of it.

“Well, my dear, I am no oracle,” Lestat brushed their noses together, “but motherhood does come with fancy gifts like foresight, glowing skin, amazing boobs-” Armand burst out laughing, oh how much Lestat cherished that sound.

“Alright, I understand. I should always listen to you.”

Lestat nodded his head, humming approvingly.  “Absolutely correct, mothers know best after all.”

Suddenly a loud noise startled them.

Someone was at the door -no there were three heartbeats, three people were outside- and was banging on it furiously. 

Telling Lestat to go upstairs, Armand went to open the door. Whoever was on the other side, was about to be very sorry for their lack of manners.

He opened the door and suddenly an unexpected ache bloomed under his right eye. 

“Armand, you manipulative gremlin!”

And there he was, Louis de Pointe du Lac, in all his irritating glory. With a weary looking Claudia and a mildly confused redheaded woman behind him.

“Where the fuck is he?” Louis spit out with anger.

“Why should I tell you?” There was no use in pretending he didn’t know, it was clear that Louis had found out about Lestat’s condition but he could provoke him a bit more maybe. Armand was already having a bad night and now he was really itching for a fight.

Louis took a step towards him, ready to strike again and Claudia quickly grabbed him by his arm. “Because I’ve come to take my husband and my child,” he declared. “You hid them from me all these months all the while looking right at our faces-”

“He is not your husband anymore! You’ve lost that title the night you walked out on him!” How dare he?  How dare he claim Lestat as his when he was the one who abandoned him in the first place?

“You have no right-”

“Boys, wait a minute-”

“Oh, I have no right? Well that’s rich coming from you.”

“Listen guys, look-”

“This is none of your business anyway. If you could just get out of the way, I would like to talk to my husband.”

“Again with the husband bulls-”

“FUCKING SHUT UP AND LOOK!” With a shout Madeleine was finally able to make herself heard. All heads turned to her then to where she was pointing at.

Lestat was standing there.

In the corner of the hallway.

Clutching his protruding belly with two hands.

The shell shocked expression on his face seized with pain.

Then their eyes traveled downwards, to the puddle of water that had formed around his feet. 

The baby was on his way.

Chapter Text

“I'm here at my cliff looking down 

So let me go towards the morning star 

With hope it won't disappear”

Madeleine Éparvier had been a lot of things in her life. She had been a disappointment to her parents, had been called a whore by her fellow Parisians, had found herself as a dress-maker and finally she had become Claudia’s eternal companion. That last one was probably the best thing to be in the world but she could be biased, of course. 

But she never thought she would become a midwife. Her mother was, bless her soul, and she was a good one too. She was hoping that Madeleine would follow in her footsteps and become a midwife like her but Madeleine never was the sentimental type. She lacked the patience to deal with nervous husbands and crying, wrinkly babies and agonized mothers who were destroying their bodies just so their ungrateful husbands could have a vessel that they could pass their surnames into.

She especially never thought she would become a midwife to a vampire. Said vampire was panicking and crying and was barely holding up his position with Claudia’s help.

After Lestat’s water broke and after their initial shock passed, Armand had carried him to the bedroom and with Madeleine’s help they’d put him in a long, comfortable nightgown. Madeleine instructed Claudia to sit behind Lestat and help him stay in a squatting position during the contractions. None of that pretty, lying on your back and biting down on a piece of cloth shit doctors wanted you to do. Kneeling and crawling and walking and yelling that was the old way, the natural way. People often forget that they were animals too, that pain was not supposed to be pretty and non-threatening.

Armand and Louis had volunteered, of course, to help up Lestat or hold his hand but Madeleine hadn’t been able to tolerate their snide remarks and their stupid and testosterone filled competitiveness. So she had scolded them and not-so-gently kicked them out of the house, telling them to go feed or do something productive with their agitation. They had objected at first, of course, but their protests were shot down with a look from Claudia and an unintelligible shout from Lestat. 

Before leaving Armand had given a kiss to Lestat’s sweaty forehead and whispered something to his ear that had made Lestat pause his pained panting and gave a tired smile. Louis, who had watched them with an irritated expression, had settled with squeezing Lestat’s hand and telling him that he was so strong and that he was gonna get through this. He was unsure of where he stood with Lestat and didn’t want to anger him by being too intimate.

 Now the two vampires were out hunting and gathering blood for Lestat and Lestat’s contractions were getting longer, closer and more unbearable. 

“Fuck!” Lestat panted out after another strenuous wave of pain. Madeleine checked the dilation and it was time now, time to push.

“Alright, on your hands and knees now.” with Claudia’s help, they maneuvered him into position. “You can kneel or squat when you feel like it, listen to what your body is telling you. With the next contraction I want you to push with all your strength, d'accord?”

And thus began the loudest and bloodiest part of the night. Lestat was sobbing and screaming through each push, constantly changing positions and gripping Claudia’s or Madeleine’s hands desperately. Blood was pouring down his legs and onto the clean towels beneath him. Madeleine couldn’t keep track of the time but with each passing minute, with each push Lestat was growing weaker.

While waiting for the next contraction, he looked at Claudia with red rimmed eyes. “I need to you to know Clau–” he took a shuddering breath, “I need you to know, in case I don’t make it–” 

“Don’t…” Claudia stopped him, her feelings regarding her maker -her tormentor, her teacher, and in a distant past her father- were confusing  enough, and she didn’t want to consider this possibility. She didn’t want to imagine leaving this room with a crying baby and Lestat’s blood on her hands and delivering the news to Louis and Armand. “Don’t say that Lestat. You will bring this child into this world and you will survive it because you are an insufferable bastard who always survives, that’s what you do. You will survive and you will handle the mess that’s waiting outside of this door.” She forced out a watery chuckle -why was her eyes getting all red?- It’s not because I care about him, she told herself, I just don’t want Louis to get sad.

“You can’t leave us to deal with your weird love triangle, Maddie and I simply don’t have enough time for that.”

An understanding expression crossed Lestat’s face then he braced himself for the next contraction, “But you need to know, ma petite, you need to know that I cared for you…” he breathed through it, he had to say what he needed to say. “...I loved you like a daughter Claudia.” 

“You were fucking terrible at showing it.” said Claudia, tears had started to fall down her cheeks. 

“I know…” he sniffled. “I wanted to protect you, I wanted you to love me like you loved Louis but you didn’t and he didn’t love me either and I let my jealousy and resentment fester and I never found the right words to say.”

Madeleine led him through another push. “I’m sorry…” he sobbed “I am so sorry for the things I did…” Claudia shushed him, “Stop this Lestat, you need to focus on the baby now.”

“Head is almost out, give a big push allez!” Madeleine instructed from below. 

Claudia wiped his face with a damp towel and then Lestat pushed with a scream.

“Now one last push for the shoulders, it’s almost over, we just need one more.” with Madeleine’s words of encouragement Lestat braced himself against Claudia and pushed. And with an excruciating sound of ripping flesh he felt the baby slide out of him.

Lestat fell back into Claudia’s chest, barely keeping himself conscious enough to hear his baby’s first cries.

***

Louis was about to lose his mind. This past week had been the most confusing week of his life. He had started his week as a single vampire who was trying to bury his past and draw a new path for himself and by the end of it, he had made his first fledgling and had learned he was going to be a father.

After Louis turned Madeleine, she and Claudia had decided to leave Paris before the coven could find out and Louis was going to be his own companion for a while, was going to discover himself without any predetermined roles or expectations. They had packed and made all the arrangements but at the last minute Claudia wanted to go back to the theater, saying she forgot some of her diaries there.

Claudia and Madeleine were getting the diaries and Louis was keeping watch, that’s when he heard it. Santiago and Celeste were talking downstairs, they were loud and drunk.

First he heard Armand’s name -alright, that was expected he was the ex coven leader after all- then he heard them say Lestat’s name -unsettling but understandable, he was the founder of the theater- but then, then Santiago said something about a baby. And he kept talking, and talking, transferring everything he heard from Armand to Celeste and Louis’ felt like the floor gave out under him. Lestat, the man he spent months trying to forget -and failed to do so- was with child. Santiago didn't know who the father was of course, Armand hadn’t told him, but Armand wasn’t the father and that left only one option in Louis’ mind. 

Lestat, his maker, his murderer, his first love, his husband - was he still his husband? - was carrying his child. And he hadn’t told Louis. And he was living with Armand. If Armand -the cold, annoying, snobbish former coven leader who always gave Louis calculating, eerie looks- thought he could replace Louis on top of lying to his face for months, well, he was about to get very mistaken. 

When he followed Lestat’s heartbeat to their town house -because Louis would always remember the sound and cadence of his heartbeat, no matter the months or years or decades- and started knocking on the door, he was fuming with anger. He was feeling betrayed, discarded and left behind. A little traitorous voice in his head said it sounded like what he and Claudia did to Lestat all those months ago.

But now, wandering through the empty streets of New Orleans, all Louis felt was regret and worry. Would things be different if he didn’t barge in on Lestat like this, if he never left him, if Claudia never left, if he never made him turn her, if he left years before she ever came into their lives? Was there anything he could’ve done to change things, to erase the hurt between the three of them, to change their future? Did they still have a future together?

Louis tried to imagine a life where Lestat would teach how to play the piano to their kid, where Claudia would teach them vampiric tricks and act as a big sister. A life where the four of them lived as a happy family. He liked the sound of that, he really did but it was wishful thinking. With Madeleine and Armand in the picture, with the bad blood between himself and Lestat, between Claudia and Lestat, that dream was an impossibility.

Could they move on from their past? Could he make his peace with the love he felt for Lestat -because even though he never said it, he had always loved him, he could admit that much-, could he overcome the resentment he felt for the things he did? Could Lestat love him still whilst carrying someone else in his heart? Would his child hate him if they learned that he abandoned them and their father?

Did any of it matter now? When Lestat was in their home, fighting for his and their baby’s life, did any of their past mistakes or wrongdoings matter? 

Louis looked up at the dark night sky and did something he hadn’t dared in years, he prayed. With every bit of his heart, to every deity who might hear him, he prayed for the baby's safe delivery, for Lestat to be alright, for getting out of this mess unscattered. 

***

Before getting kicked out by Madeleine, Armand had managed to call the witch and his other contacts to ensure that she would be in New Orleans tomorrow night at the latest. Then he had gone out and drained three mortals to occupy himself but also to be ready to feed Lestat. He knew birth would be strenuous and bloody and Lestat would need his blood to heal. After discarding the bodies he walked around the city aimlessly. His mind was a mess, swirling with possibilities, each one of them worse than the other. And at the moment, there was nothing he could do to change them. He’d been walking on this earth for more than four centuries but he had never felt this useless and helpless, not since he was a young mortal boy. Lestat was out there, in pain and Armand didn’t even know what his condition was at the moment. 

He had to close his mind after hearing his first agonizing screams or he would find du Lac and crush his head in his anger. If that damn fool had never barged in on them like that, Lestat would never panic like that and the birth would never start early. If… if something were to happen to Lestat , Armand promised to himself darkly , neither du Lac nor his so-called-sister nor her companion would survive this night . 

Armand .

Speak of the devil. 

Madeleine? Is it done?

Oui, the bebe is here. We’re gonna need you now.

***

So he had a son.

Fuck the biology, fuck the blood relation, fuck the logic, fuck his fears and fuck ill omens and fuck anyone who says otherwise. That was his fucking son alright, Arun had a son.

With ten tiny toes and ten tiny fingers, with the strongest set of lungs, with a little head full of dark hair, with his blue-violet eyes and light brown skin; the little boy was looking like the perfect mix of Lestat and Louis but unbeknownst to everyone, he had already wrapped Armand’s heart around his tiny finger.

His hands itched to touch him again but the baby was currently sleeping in Lestat’s arms, oblivious to the approaching storm in the room, and Armand hadn’t had the heart to disturb him or Lestat.

After the first cries of the baby Claudia and Madeleine had called Louis and Armand back, then began to clean up the baby and Lestat. By the time new fathers had made it to the townhouse, Lestat was half conscious -though still bleeding- and the little guy had started to give them headaches with his short but effective wails.

Upon entering the bedroom, Armand had gone straight to Lestat and started to feed him his blood. Louis had looked back and forth between Lestat and his zero days old son with misty eyes. As if trying to make sure that this was real.

And now the baby had fallen asleep, Lestat had been fed, Madeleine had given them a quick rundown of the birth and Louis and Armand had taken turns holding and marveling at the baby. They were sitting around the bedroom, silently watching Lestat gently rock the baby in his arms.

“So, what are you going to call him? Do you have a name in mind?” asked Claudia, she had never had patience for silence.

Both Armand and Louis looked at Lestat curiously.

“I thought something, yes. Of course his last name will be de Lioncourt,” he looked at Louis with a hesitant expression, “I hope you have no objections.” Armand gave Louis a stern look, daring him to refuse Lestat. But there was no need for that at all, Louis had no intention of going against Lestat’s wishes. Letting him name their child was the least of his worries regarding the future.

“No, of course I have no objections. You were the one who had to go through all this, you should be the one to name him." His compliance had earned a sweet smile from Lestat and a skeptical look from Armand.

“Perfect. Alright then everyone,” Lestat’s eyes skimmed over the vampires occupying the bedroom and he continued in a showy manner, “meet Benedict Ronav de Lioncourt!” [1]

Armand’s face broke into a beaming smile. “Ronav, huh? Were you doing research behind my back this whole time?”

“Maybe.” answered Lestat with an amused shake of his head. When the others looked at them with clueless expressions Armand explained. “Ronav means the one who embodies grace, it is an Indian name.”

Louis spun his head to face Lestat, red tears had started to gather on his waterline. 

Lestat looked at him with a small, shy smile and answered his silent question. “Well I remember Miss Grace always being kind to me and she was a smart, fierce woman. I wanted him to have a part of her intriguing spirit.” 

“Thank you, I… thank you Les.” choked out Louis, a couple of tears had slipped free.

“And Benedict means blessed in Latin of course.” he continued while caressing the sleeping baby’s plump cheek, gazing down at him with adoring eyes. “My little blessing.”

“Benedict Ronav de Lioncourt, that’s a pretty good name actually.” Claudia said in an impressed tone. “I would expect something like François or Jacques from you.” Then she proceeded to laugh at Lestat’s horrified expression.

Shaking his head Lestat turned to Madeleine with soft eyes. “I cannot even begin to tell how grateful I am to you, for all the things you did tonight. Actually if he had been a girl I would probably choose his middle name a variation of Madeleine.”

Madeleine scrunched her face in distaste “Don’t get all emotional on me, I just utilized some of my old knowledge. Also I’m glad it was not a girl, Madeleine is a terrible name for a baby.”

“Hey, don't go around insultin’ my favorite name now.” Claudia chastised her gently and gave a little peck to her cheek. Her accent had been getting more and more prominent because of the exhaustion and the swirling emotions.

Everyone was feeling drained, emotionally and physically. So when Lestat gave a tired yawn Armand declared it was time to rest. He gently placed sleeping Benedict into his bassinet next to the bed and Louis helped Lestat to settle in more comfortably, with hesitant hands.

After making sure their guests -because that was what they were, Armand knew he was being petty but this was his home now, his family, and he had no intention of giving up on his new found happiness, not anymore- were safe for the day, Armand silently made his way to the master bedroom and changed into his pajamas. He had refused to stay in another room and give someone ideas about the state of his relationship with Lestat, even though he himself wasn’t perfectly sure what that state was.

“Done with the host duties?” asked Lestat from his place between countless pillows. 

“Why haven’t you gone to sleep? You should be resting Lestat.” 

“Couldn’t sleep.” he sighed then cast his eyes on the little sleeping figure next to his bed, “I keep looking at him, almost waiting for him to disappear. I… I am not used to being this happy and I am terrified, Armand.” He looked at him with doleful eyes. “I am fucking terrified that something’s going to happen to him or–”

“Hey now, none of that.” Armand climbed next to him on the bed and gently took his face in his hands. “Do you remember what I told you months ago, when you called to me that night?”

Lestat sniffled and recited the reassuring words Armand uttered to him in the past. “I am not going to let anything happen to you or him. I will protect you both, you have my word.” 

Armand made an appreciative sound. Then said, “So you can remember things when you want to and you were lying when you said you couldn’t remember where my brown shirt was.” trying to lighten him up.

“Listen here mister, I do not appreciate the way you are treating a person who has just given birth.” Lestat retaliated with mock offense. “Also you know I hate that shade of brown, it washes out your complexion.” added grumply.

“Oh you are right, I shouldn’t mock your memory when it's still very weak.” he gave a chaste peck to Lestat’s lips. “After all, you so conveniently still haven’t remembered what happened after I said that.”

When Lestat gave him a quizzical look he continued. “You mocked me for insinuating that the baby was going to be a boy. And lo and behold,” he gestured at Benedict, “I was right, as always.”

“You are insufferable.” huffed out Lestat, rolling his eyes, still an amused smile was playing on his lips.

“Maybe, but I still managed to sweep away the sorrow from your face.” pointed out Armand then kissed the smiling lips before they could form a pout.

They laid down facing each other, Armand dried Lestat’s remaining tears then took him in his arms and whispered, “Don’t you drown in your worries, my dearest one , there is nothing but peace and sweetness and your arms in mine. [2] ”

***

After an impossibly long and exhausting night and a very tiring day filled with nightmares, Lestat woke up to a new night.

He was lying on his back under the covers, hair spread on the pillow like a halo. His son - Gods he had a son now, he was a father - was safely sleeping right next to him, in his bassinet, and his angelic lover was lying on his other side. He would have to wake Benedict and feed him soon but he wanted to stay just like that with his favorite guys for a bit longer.

Armand was lying on his side, one arm draped over Lestat’s torso in a protective manner. Even when dead to the world, he was still guarding him. Lestat watched his sleeping form for a while with a fond smile. This was his favorite time to watch Armand, when his elegant face was unguarded, serene, and slack with sleep. When he wasn’t putting on the mask of his performative fragile angelic beauty for the world, when he was raw and gentle and tangible.

His eyes roamed over the bronze peak of his cheekbones, the sharp curve of his nose, the elegantly shaped pink lips. All the lovely features that came together to form a creature so deadly yet so breathtaking. Lust and violence wrapped together in the same slender figure.

Just as he was about to trace the delicate features with his fingertips, Armand began to stir. Long lashes fluttered open to reveal warm orange irises and unfocused eyes landed on Lestat’s blue-violet ones. And this was another favorite moment of his, being the very first thing Armand saw every night and having his unwavering attention. All to himself, without even having the need to ask. All this love given to him freely, without needing the ploys or the acts or the demeaning pleas. 

He smiled when fiery eyes focused and lost their haziness and he murmured softly, “Good morning.”

“Morning, love.” replied Armand while absent mindedly rubbing Lestat’s stomach, something he made a habit of during Lestat’s pregnancy. After a few rubs he realized what he was doing and smiled at Lestat sheepishly which Lestat returned with a smile of his own. They laid there for a few minutes, the house still silent and Benedict still asleep, then Armand’s expression turned into something somber.

He propped up on his elbow, looking down at Lestat. He was contemplating whether to voice his thoughts or not, Lestat could tell from the way his blazing orange eyes were moving around restlessly. 

“Lestat,” started Armand while gazing into his eyes. “I was… I was really frightened last night. I came so close to losing you and there was nothing I could’ve done.” He averted his eyes when they started to fill with redness, “I mean don’t misunderstand, you were truly astonishing and so brave but there was a point where I really thought that… that…” He sniffled into the cuffs of his pajamas and cut himself off. 

Lestat gave a skeptical laugh, allowing Armand to hide his tears and calm down in the meantime. “If by astonishing you mean a screaming, crying, sweaty mess, yes, I believe I was astonishing.” 

“Well,” Armand said in a calmer and more playful tone, “You, my love, were the bravest…” He was peppering Lestat's face with featherlight kisses in between his words. “...sexiest… most determined…” 

Lestat started laughing, trying to escape Armand’s ticklish kisses. “Alright, alright I think I understand.” 

But he couldn't deter Armand, he was a man with a plan after all. “No, no I am not done. And don't try to distract me, now where was I?”

“You were telling me that I am the sexiest man on earth, I believe.” Lestat reminded him helpfully.

Armand gave a found chuckle. “You were the sexiest, most courageous, most astonishing… screaming, crying, sweaty mess ever.”

Lestat gazed into his eyes lovingly, “Sweet talk is supposed to be my specialty you know, since when you are so good at this?”

“Well we have eternity in front of us, I have to keep up with you somehow right?” Armand said in a soft, dreamlike voice. He only realized the implications behind his words when Lestat’s eyes widened slightly and his heart gave a sharp thump. 

Uh-oh.

Well he hadn’t planned to have this conversation this soon but what’s done was done now and Armand was so fucking tired of holding back. He couldn’t afford to hold back anyway, not with Louis sleeping down the hall, not with the implications his presence brought upon their shores. So he persevered and with a deep breath he kept on talking, now or never.

“Alright, I wasn’t going to say it- or well more like ask it now, I wanted to give you more time to heal and think it through but… well you see–”

“Armand, hang on, what–what are you saying?” Lestat slowly positioned himself to lean against the headboard.

“I’m saying that I want to be your eternal companion.” Armand blurted out. “Your husband, your everlasting lover… Whatever you wish to call it, I want to be it. And I want to raise Benedict with you. I…I want to…” His determination faltered slightly in this part, it was a momentous thing to admit, to ask. “I have so much love for him, Lestat. I know I have not fathered him but deep in my bones, I feel it, he is my son. And I would be endlessly grateful to you if you would allow me that honor.” He was out of breath by the end of it, mostly from the nerves, partially from old human habits. He wanted to look at Lestat, wanted to gauge his reaction but he had already spent the last of his courage.

If Armand were to look at Lestat’s face, he would see his red rimmed eyes. He would notice the brittle but hopeful smile on his lips. He would witness the way how some invisible weight lifted from his shoulders, the weight that had been silently crushing him for the last couple of years.

Finally Lestat spoke in a wet, shaky voice. “Armand, you already are.”

Armand’s head jerked up and he looked at Lestat with wide eyes.

“It already felt like you were his father too. I mean I was already feeling your devotion to me and to him, to some extent, but I didn’t know how to approach it because what if I were mistaken?” Lestat sniffled and turned his gaze to his sleeping son. “What if your commitment didn’t reach that far, what if my baby got rejected before he was even born, again? What if I learned that I wasn’t enough for someone to stay, again?” He gave a self-deprecating laugh which Armand tutted in response and moved forward to take a hold of his downturned chin.

“Don’t you ever, and I mean never, dare to think that you are not enough. Lestat look at me,” he turned Lestat face towards himself, “as someone who yearned for you, who dreamed of you for decades upon decades, it makes me sick to hear you say those words.” he continued while wiping away his tears. “Just because Louis was a foolish man who was blind to the wild beauty in front of him, just because he didn’t know how to love you the way you deserved, doesn’t mean you are not enough or unlovable.”

Lestat squeezed the hand that was on his cheek. “I didn’t know how to love him the way he deserved, either. We never managed to work out well together, no matter how much I wanted it to.” He looked at Armand with a serious expression. “Now I know you are not going to like hearing this but if we are being honest and trying to build a future, we have to talk about all of it. The good and the bad.” He felt Armand tense under his palm, steeling himself for the worst.

“I loved Louis very much and I believe a part of me, no matter how small, will always be in love with him. And he is Benedict’s father, so he will always be a part of our lives. Claudia too. Even though I resent her most days, she is still my dark child, my daughter, my love. But–” He quickly continued to calm Armand’s growing distress. “But those things don't diminish your importance in my or Benedict’s life. I love you Armand,” He kissed Armand’s hand then clutched it to his own chest. “You are Benedict’s father and you are the one who I want by my side while I face the upcoming centuries. I am not giving you up, never, you hear me? We are going to do the whole raising a kid, marriage, spending the eternity together thing, even though you have not proposed to me in a dignified manner yet.” He gave Armand a self satisfied smirk when his previously downturned face lit up with an incredulous giggle. 

“Oh, so you want a ring, a romantic dinner, some music, me on one knee…” Armand mused and planted a kiss on Lestat’s forehead. “Very well, I could provide a suitable proposal for you, my sweet and capricious boy.” Then he added pettily, “Once you are all healed and we gained our privacy back, of course.”

Lestat tried not to laugh at his petulant lover. “Well, before you can do that I will need to get divorced properly.” Of course there were no legal documents binding him and Louis together, only the vampiric bond between a maker and a fledgling and their long lost love. But still, it didn’t feel right to treat their union in the church, at the altar, as anything but a marriage, as anything but an unholy matrimony. 

He needed to talk with Louis, to get closure on their destructive old ways and to get a new and clean start on their parenthood journey. They owed Benedict -and Claudia- that much. 

“I will talk to Louis tonight, tell him our plans regarding Benedict’s future. Hopefully he’ll comply–” “He will.” added Armand darkly, he wasn’t going to let Louis create more problems than he already did. “Hopefully, he will comply with us and we will handle this matter swiftly and peacefully .” 

Armand rolled his eyes when he accentuated the last word “I miss the days where you used to ride into a horde of vampires with only your sword and challenged vampires centuries your senior. You are too cautious now.”

“Oh, forgive me for not allowing you to murder the other father of our son. Also, you already proposed, however insufficient it was, so you are stuck with me now.” said Lestat gleefully.

When Armand tried to retaliate, Lestat shooed him away with a chaste kiss to his lips and a light shove to his chest.

“Enough of this, I need to feed my son, give him to me. Then please go and be a nice host to our guests and to the kind witch you threatened into coming here tonight.”

Armand got up from the bed with a fond huff. “The things I do for love.”

Then carefully placed the newly awakened Benedict into Lestat’s waiting arms, but not before peppering his little head with kisses. Despite his loud entrance to the world, Benedict had been a quiet, easygoing baby so far. Sleeping through the day -just like a newborn vampire- and only crying when he was hungry or when someone interrupted his sleep, he was a dream for the new parents. Since the moment he was born, he had captivated everyone around him. Lestat, Armand, Louis and Madeleine had lavished him with attention and even Claudia, who had been very reluctant to hold him, had caved and admitted that ‘it has a very adorable face’ indeed.

With one last lingering kiss to Lestat’s lips, Armand left to prepare blood bags [3] for their guests and then to drive the witch to their house from the hotel.

***

Raven Mayfair [4] had never been more glad to be done with a job in her entire life. 

Mr. Armand le Russe had been probably -no scratch that, he was definitely - the most demanding employer she ever had. She knew it wasn’ going to be an easy case from the start, vampire pregnancies never were -especially male ones- but she had not prepared herself for this level of micromanagement. 

The moment she stepped into the beautiful townhouse in Rue Royale, she had been rushed to the master bedroom where the postpartum parent was propped up on many pillows. She barely managed to greet the two women and the man waiting by the door before Mr. le Russe started with his demands and had to be scolded into remembering his manners by the teenage girl who’d been watching him with disapproving eyes.

After getting some privacy with her patient, she had started with her examination. The baby was very healthy if only a bit small due to his early birth, but he would catch up quickly, she’d reassured Mr. de Lioncourt. 

Then it was time to control what the makeshift midwife had done the previous night. He has not completely healed yet, there was a light bleeding and the tear was still in the process of mending itself. His body would need a couple of days to get back to its pre-pregnancy state and his strength would return to its full force a few weeks after that. 

Overall everything seemed alright, even though she had a hard time trying to convince Mr. le Russe and Mr. du Lac that.

Once she was outside of the townhouse, she took a deep breath and hoped that those vampires would never have another child in her lifetime.

***

“Look at his nose, it’s literally a copy of Louis’.”

They were sitting in the living room, Lestat was upstairs resting and Madeleine had gone to check up on him, and that left Armand, Louis and Claudia alone with a bubbly Benedict who was looking at his surroundings curiously. Currently it was Claudia’s turn to hold him and she and Armand had gotten into a subtle argument about who Benedict looked like the most. Louis had chosen not to interfere and was watching Claudia defend his honor with a bemused expression on his face.

“He has Lestat’s eyes, down to the exact shade.” retaliated Armand.

“The color of his skin, his hair is all Louis.” scoffed Claudia, Armand wasn’t going to win this.

“Well, if you had a more keen eyesight you would notice that his hair is straighter than Louis’ and–”

“Maybe stop examining my son like he is a lab rat.” came Lestat’s amused voice from the top of the stairs.

He was slowly walking down, one arm linked with Madeleine’s for support and the other one clutching the railing.

At the sight of him Louis stood a bit straighter on his spot and Armand sprang up from the couch saying, “What are you doing here, you should be lying down.”

Lestat tried to brush off his worries with a blasé flip of his hand. “I am perfectly capable of sitting in my own living room. You heard Miss Raven too, there is nothing to worry about.”

Armand took over from Madeleine and carefully led him to the unoccupied couch. “Also,” continued Lestat while looking softly at Benedict, “I missed my little boy and it was getting unbearably dull in that room on my own.”

Once he situated Lestat, Armand started fussing over him, repositioning pillows behind him, asking him if he felt comfortable. Louis watched this exchange tensely, he was feeling like an outsider and seeing Lestat with others had not gotten easier with the passing of the time.

Almost as if feeling his father’s discomfort, Benedict suddenly let out a startling wail. Prompting Claudia to exclaim while looking down at the crying infant in her arms .“I didn’t do anything, I was just holding him like this.” 

Louis gently took him from her, “Maybe he has gas,” he guessed while tapping his bottom soothingly, “or he’s hungry.”

“No, I fed him not that long ago.” Lestat said while signaling Louis to pass Benedict to him.

“Off you go, sweetheart.” cooed Louis at the baby and placed him into Lestat’s arms. 

And like magic, the moment he felt Lestat’s warmth, Benedict’s cries came to a halt. Lestat gave a delighted chuckle, eyes getting misty. “Or he just missed his father.” He stroked the tears away from his plump and flushed cheeks with reverent movements, feeling touched beyond words from the fact that his precious son had missed him and only calmed down with his presence. There was no feeling like this on this earth, Lestat was sure of it. 

“Oh, did you miss me honey? Did you?” He cooed at the peaceful looking baby then turned to Armand, who was sitting next to him. “He missed me.” In return Armand gave a chaste kiss to his temple and said, “Of course he did, love, of course he did.”

With Benedict now calmly gurgling and looking around, they continued to chat for a while. ‘Chat’ mostly consisted of Madeleine and Lestat talking about France and Claudia chiming in with some insults regarding Paris, and Armand and Louis sending each other weird looks. 

After some time passed, Lestat noticed Benedict had gone to sleep and decided to kill two birds with one stone. I am going to say something and you need to stay calm , he said to Armand’s mind.

“I should put Benedict in his bassinet,” he said while slowly  getting up, “Louis would you like to help me? Besides, I can show you his room too.”

He tried not to look at Armand’s furious eyes and just send calming thoughts to him. 

Louis’ face had lit up with this unexpected request, he eagerly rose up from his seat and went to help Lestat up the stairs. It was clear he wanted to talk to him about something and this was just an excuse, he knew Lestat well. But what was he going to say?

***

Nursery was ostentatiously furnished yet it looked cozy and suitable for a baby. With a gilded crib, an elegant changing table, functional cabinets to store various toys, nappies, stylish baby clothes, a play area filled with plushies and soft looking pillows; it was an obvious mix of Lestat’s pompous tastes and Armand’s practicality. It was a lovely sight and it made Louis’ heart ache. Ache for the time he missed, ache for the fact that Lestat had built a new life for himself and their baby, ache for the future that they would never have together. 

But this was what he wanted, wasn’t it? What he asked for? To discover himself, to leave with Claudia and travel the world, be free of the gilded cage Lestat had kept them in for two decades. He had what he wanted, then why was his heart hurting like this? Seeing his companion’s - former companion’s? - hand in Armand’s, hearing Armand refer to Benedict as his son, walking around the Rue Royale and not recognising the house that once belonged to him… 

Ever since he stepped into the house last night, Louis had been questioning himself and his past decisions. Had it been the right thing to do, leaving Lestat? He needed to find himself on his own, that much was true, it was also the reason he’d agreed to be parted from Claudia as well. But his every sleep in Paris had been haunted by Lestat’s heartbroken face from the last night he saw him. Love and hate had been combating against each other in his mind. He couldn’t -and shouldn’t, at least for now- be with Lestat but thought of spending eternity without him was making him sick. He’d been kind of excited to delve into the night and discover the world as a vampire but now with a baby in the picture…

“I will not be parted from my son.” Louis looked up at Lestat, startled. For a moment he had gotten lost in his thoughts and forgotten about his surroundings. 

“You are free to come and see him, I would not forbid it, but you cannot take him from me.” Lestat continued in a hard, steady voice as if he had memorized the words.

Louis was baffled by the change of his tone, all night Lestat had been kind to him while keeping his distance. “I… Lestat why, why would I do that?”

Lestat answered with a bitter smile. “I know you, Louis. You’ve always desperately wanted a family, what we had was never enough for you and we both know that you would do anything to have what you’ve always craved.” He made agitated gestures with his hands. “Claudia is enough proof.”

“I am not cruel enough to separate a newborn from his father, Lestat. You are forgetting who was the humane one between the two of us.” his voice was slightly rising, he couldn’t believe what Lestat was accusing him of. Or maybe he was getting angry because Lestat was getting closer to his hypocrisy, getting closer to remind him how he promised to never leave him that night then how he broke that same promise.

“You are good at being cruel, Saint Louis. You always have been.” Lestat remarked with a feracious glint in his eyes. 

Louis felt all the fight leave him the moment he heard the insult, the insult what was once a term of endearment. He exhaled his unsaid retaliation and sat down on the armchair in the corner of the nursery. He was so, so tired.

“I don’t want to be.” Louis said in a low, weary voice. “I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes, I don’t want us to hurt one another anymore.” 

Lestat stared at him with confused eyes, he had clearly been waiting for Louis to bite back, and Louis tried to put all his sincerity into his next words. “It seems to me that we both changed in these past months, Lestat. And we have a baby to think about now. Maybe we can start over, try again and–”

“No, we can’t.” Lestat quickly cut off Louis, while shaking his head. Then laughed sadly, it was a tragic sound, eyes filling up with blood tears. “You have no idea what I would do to hear you say those words to me in the past.” He exhaled shakily. “But not anymore, Louis. I am not the pathetic stray who was at your beck and call.”

“I never said you were–”

“But you expected me to be. You thought I would leave the life I’ve built at the first sight of you.”

He was kind of expecting that, Louis was ashamed to admit it, but it was true. He had always been sure of Lestat’s love and devotion for him. In the past, he was always lavished with gifts, praises, declarations of love. Even when their marriage was strained with the existence of Antoinette and Jonah and Louis’ new diet and a million other thing; Lestat had always made sure to convey his love with a gentle touch or a term of endearment.

They sat quietly in their separate corners for a few minutes, listening to the ruckus of the city, then Louis broke the silence.

“Catholics don’t divorce.” he joked in a faint voice, looking at him with wet eyes. 

He was asking Lestat one last time, asking if it was truly over, asking if this was really the end of their tumultuous love story, asking ain’t I your sweetheart no more?

Lestat looked back with compassionate but determined eyes. “I don’t believe in God, Louis.” 

Louis closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his own chest, in an attempt to lessen the hurt.

“You really love him, don’t you?”

Lestat sniffled, “I do, I really do.”

“Alright.” Louis turned his gaze to the empty crib, Benedict was sleeping in the bassinet next to Lestat’s bed, and wiped at his face trying to get rid of the tears.

“Once upon a time, an ancient vampire had advised me to live one human lifetime before I began my life as an immortal, I am afraid I’ve kept you and Claudia from living that. Maybe it’s time for you to continue your travels, to finish living that life.”

“That sounds like a good advice.” He got up from the armchair and walked to the middle of the room, Lestat mirrored him.

“You know you will always have a place in my heart.” said Lestat while wiping Louis’ remaining tears with a shaky hand. “But right now, it’s time for us to live our own lives.”

“I know.” Louis nodded, then continued with a renewed determination. “I want my son to know the version of me that I am proud of being. And I feel like I am so close to finding that man, to being that man.”

“He would love every version of you Louis.” objected Lestat.

“He would,” he agreed. “But he deserves the best and we are both trying to be that for him, aren’t we?” Lestat nodded even though it was a rhetorical question. “Well I feel like I need to finish that lifetime you mentioned, before I can become my best.”

They found themselves in another silence but it was a less suffocating, more hopeful one.

“I will visit frequently.”

“And we will tell him about you, about Claudia and Madeleine, between your visits.”

“I am not abandoning him, I will come back.” 

“He will have no doubts about how loved he is, by every single one of his fathers.”

“You shouldn’t have any doubts about that one either.”

Lestat’s breath hitched. “Well, that’s kind of you to say.”

“Good night, Lestat.”

“Good night, Louis.”

***

First Madeleine left the townhouse -not having much to say since she only met Lestat and Armand three nights ago- but not before getting pulled into a hug by Lestat. He profusely thanked her and told her that she could come to them if she ever needed help. Thankfully he didn’t try giving her another shovel talk like he tried to do the previous night. It would be humiliating for both of them.

Then it was Claudia. 

She approached Lestat with hesitant steps, they had not really talked after the night of the birth and she wasn’t sure how she felt about the confessions they both made that night. She wasn’t ready to forgive the things Lestat did and she was sure he hadn’t overcome her betrayal either. 

But it was a start. At least now they knew that even with all the bloodshed and the games and the hatred, there was love between them. The love was there and it did change things. 

“I believe I don’t need to remind you that if you find yourself in need of anything, you–”

“-I can come and find you yeah, yeah so I’ve heard. Don’t worry old man, I will come back to reclaim my share of the inheritance when you die.”

Lestat barked out a laugh and pulled Claudia into a tight hug. She tried but couldn’t find the will to push him away and reluctantly settled into the hug. After a few moments she pushed him away and quickly wiped her eyes before anyone could see the tears and walked up to Armand who was holding Benedict.

“Don’t worry Ben, I will not leave you alone with these dreadful men. Madeleine and I will drop by from time to time and teach you how to have fun.”

She ignored Armand’s scoff and kissed Benedict’s little hands and forehead, she was only made aware of his existence four nights ago but the little guy already had a place in her heart. She had to leave this house before she started bawling like a little kid.

“I should help Madeleine with the luggage.” And with that she left Rue Royale.

After watching Claudia slam the door on her way out, Armand glanced at Lestat. They looked at each other for a second, communicating silently, - well, I guess Lestat had a point when he was annoyed at me for talking with Claudia in my mind, thought Louis- then Armand passed Benedict into Lestat’s arms and went upstairs, no wonder listening to them from there.

“Should I send my first postcard here or…” trailed Louis, he just wanted to subtly ask Lestat if they were staying in NOLA but stealth had never been his specialty. 

Lestat examined him with his piercing eyes then shook his head softly. “No, I think I want to live in a city that has fewer ghosts. A fresh start, as the mortals say.”

Louis nodded his head, New Orleans had become too emotionally draining, too suffocating for them. They all needed a bit of space and time away from here to heal, to mend their hurts.

“I understand. Just make sure to inform me of your new address.”

“Of course, Armand will call you once we move into our new house.”

“Alright then.” Louis’ eyes flitted around the room, not knowing what to say next, God how was he supposed to say goodbye to his son?

“Hey,” said Lestat in a calming voice, “it’s alright Louis. This is not a farewell, just tell him you will see him again.” 

It was moments like these that made Louis wonder if Lestat was able to read his mind but was just hiding it from him. He couldn’t stop the grateful smile from spreading on his face.

He walked up to them and gently took Benedict into his arms and poured his heart out to the little ears. He told him how much he loved him, assured him that he was going to think about him during his travels, and promised reverently that he was going to come back to him. Then kissed his scrunched up eyes, his plump cheeks, his tiny hands, his sweet-scented head. Held his precious son to his chest and inhaled his heavenly smell.

Then safely returned him to Lestat’s arms. “On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely is it for Armand to kill me if I kiss you goodbye right now?” He knew it wasn’t going to mean anything serious, he wasn’t backing away from their agreement, but he just wanted to feel Lestat’s warmth one last time.

Lestat giggled with a mischievous spark in his eyes. “Extremely likely.” Then glanced at the stairs, probably saying something to Armand. “But I think this would not cause any predicaments.”

Then he leaned towards Louis and pressed a warm and friendly kiss to his cheek.

“Goodbye Louis.”

“Goodbye Lestat. Goodbye Ben, I will see you soon sweetheart.”

***

When Armand walked downstairs he found Lestat in the same spot he had left him in, still looking at the door while cuddling Benedict to his chest. He had a faraway look on his face, red tinted eyes looking into the empty space and watching something Armand couldn’t see, lips slightly trembling with the force of unshed tears.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, trying not to startle him, “are you doing alright darling?”

He hugged him from behind, slender but strong arms circling Lestat’s waist and supporting Benedict’s weight in front. Lestat shook his head and blinked a couple of times to get rid of the fog of melancholia that had covered him. Then with a deep breath melted into Armand’s calming warmth. 

“I am, I will be. It’s just, watching them all leave reminded me of some unpleasant memories. I never want to go back to those times.”

“You won’t. You will never be alone like that, never.” declared Armand and pressed featherlight kisses to everywhere he could reach; his neck, the side of his face, his hair, his ear.

While gazing into his son’s half-open blue-violet eyes and soaking up the warmth of Armand’s body, Lestat felt his chest expand and explode with love, so much love. He hadn’t realized how cold he had been, since the tower, since the wolves, maybe since he was born. The years-long violence, fear and lack of love had sunk into his skin and bones. But not anymore.

“I love you, Lestat.” whispered Armand, his warm breath tickling Lestat’s ear.

“I love you too, Armand.”