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Being a human is awesome! Ok, well maybe there are a few downsides. But it's mostly awesome, least for Adam it is. Say what you want about him and the rest of humanity, even sinners. Adam will always be proud to be human and is the first one to speak up for them.
But. Being a human is difficult, especially when you're in a relationship with a radio demon and the king of hell. Sometimes they just don't seem to see eye to eye with each other. Adam thought at least with Alastor there might be some understanding. But with each thing he learned about the guy you could say he's more demon than human. Like when he was ripping into a dead animal carcass and he offered Adam some. The heart specifically.
"For you my dear~" His permanent grin stretched, the gesture was genuine. Adam recoiled at the sight and stench.
"You're kidding right?"
Alastor tilted his head. "Course not dear, I'm giving you a heart. Is that not romantic enough for you? Well, I guess I could give you mine, I'm not using it." He started to dig into his chest. Adam stopped him.
"What the fuck? No!" He sighs annoyed. "Do you ever eat any normal food? Like wings, burgers?"
Alastor raised a brow. "That's all from animals no? What makes a difference from me just eating them as they are?" He snickers. "Is it because humans feel guilty for eating something once living? So they ground it up into an unrecognizable pile of mush to feel less horrible?" He laughs more patting Adam's head. "Oh you humans, and your silly thought process."
"Uh Al, you were human too at one point..."
Alastor hums rolling his eyes. "I suppose." He went back to his meal.
.
.
Lucifer was worst, unlike Alastor he's never been human. He's always been something other, his thought process and the way he sees things is always other.
"Hey Luci, I'm not complaining but how come we never have anniversaries or anything?"
Lucifer was looking over some paperwork, he didn't look up at Adam. "What for my little dove?"
"Well..I don't know..it's just something to celebrate being together."
"Oh? Don't know why. We're together everyday anyways, what makes it special if we do the same thing just on the date we got together."
Adam sighs, how could he explain. "It's just, a way to celebrate all the hurdles we got over. To cherish our love..." Adam realized how mushy he was sounding. He cleared his voice. "I mean that's how a chick would explain it but..didn't you and Lilith have anniversaries?"
"No, not really. That whole concept started long after we were banished here. I've only learned about human concepts once sinners started coming here. Even then, I don't quite understand most of them."
Adam pouted. "Oh."
Lucifer finally looked up, he saw Adam's disappointment.
"But, if you liked that. I would be happy to start them for you. Even if it would be like just any other day as long as I'm with you two I'd be happy."
Adam sighs, he just doesn't get it.
.
.
Adam loves them, but if they don't make them want to pull his hair out.
"It's like you two don't get me at all!" He huffs, storming out. They had their disagreements, their personalities still clashed now and then. But sometimes Adam wonders if he's even compatible with them. If they even...Adam stops himself. He's thinking like a girl again.
Who cares if they don't love him the same way Adam and most humans love. Who cares if it seems like they feel more like roommates than actual boyfriends. If it wasn't for the sex they might as well be. Who cares if he secretly want more? What more could he want? Anniversaries? Dates? Marriage? Pft. It's stupid human concepts after all.
Adam stopped walking, he realized he was in the middle of some random streets. He looks down, things were so different when he was with Eve. They just fit so perfectly, always in sync, their love was clear for each other. (Well, she was made from his rib) With Lucifer and Alastor.. it's different.
Adam felt something hit his back, he looks up to see a pretty large hellborn. The skulled face demon growls at him. "You're in the way."
Adam looked around. "There's plenty of room dipshit, how about you just go around?"
The demon got real close to his face. "Nah, I want you to move. So, move."
"Look here asshole! I don't have time for you bullshit alright? Fuck off!"
The demon grabbed Adam by the hair yanking him harshly. Adam yelped but soon recoverd. He was getting ready to blast this fucker. Well, he was going to but a dark shadow got him first. The demon fell down hard on the jagged concrete.
"The fuck!?" He looks up to see who pushed him. He froze when he saw the radio overlord and the king of hell. Alastor leaned down, his smile was all but friendly. "So~ I see you like to start fights hm? Putting your hands on our property?"
The demon shuddered, Lucifer stepped in. "Now now Alastor~ that's not how we handle our disputes. I am the king after all and it is I who keeps my subjects in check. But you friend, you've committed a very VERY bad crime. As king I say you should be punished for such a bad deed."
The demon tried to back away. "L-look man, I'm sorry I didn't know!"
Lucifer grins showing his sharp teeth. "I fear it's too late for sorries. You've fucked up friend."
Soon, the street was filled with agonizing screams, Adam watched in horror. Some blood hitting his face, a limb here and there nearly touching him. Other sinners and hellborns watched in amusement. Pretty soon the once demon was nothing but a pile of grounded meat on the floor, his blood will no doubt stain the concrete. Once done Alastor and Lucifer turned to Adam.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed!?" Lucifer scolded him. That didn't stop him from walking over checking over Adam for injuries. Alastor was already by, fixing Adam's hair, checking as well.
"Yes dear, I know you have your..." He squints his eyes a little. "Sensitive moments. But going out to fighting is not ideal. If you want to let off steam you should've told me! I have plenty of souls for you to torture!" Alastors offer was genuine, Lucifer nodded besides him.
Adam frowned. "I'm not sensitive, fuck you!"
Lucifer cupped his cheek. "Adam, you can't just run off like that. You're not an angel anymore! You could get really hurt."
Adam looked between the two. The way they were fussing over him, checking on him in their own way, protecting him. It clicks.
Adam's relationship with them is nothing like his relationship with Eve. His current relationship isn't like any of his previous relationships. None of his relationships are like each other. They didn't have to be. They we're all special in their own way, all had different little things about each other. But that didn't make them lesser than the other.
Adam smiles at the two. He confused both of them when he pulls them into a hug. He laid his head between them, enjoying their warmth.
"You two piss me off, you know that?"
Lucifer and Alastor share a look, they look back at Adam smiling. "Out of everyone here I should be saying that." Lucifer laughs kissing Adam's cheeks.
They head back home, playfully bickering about who is more annoying than who.
They might not understand Adam as a human. They may see the world different and think different. But it was clear to him that they loved him the same way he loved them.
"Oh, my mind almost slipped. Here Adam, me and Alastor were going to give this to you but you walked out."
Adam looks at the wrapped gift. He opens it curiously. He gasped. "This...this-what i-i..."
Lucifer smiles. "I know we don't do anniversaries or anything like that. But we thought it may be something you might enjoy."
"This is from the corpsegrinder! He's not even dead yet! How'd you-"
"I have my ways." Alastor grins. "With my help obviously." Lucifer adds.
Adam wasn't a mushy person (least he wouldn't admit that out loud) but times like this he couldn't stop himself. He hugs the two tightly again, nearly crushing them. With love of course.
"I love you guys!" His voice wavered.
His boyfriends grunted.
"L-love you..too."