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Chapter Text

I walk through the trees with purpose; feeling certain that I am going in the right direction. When I close my eyes and calm my breathing I can feel what professor Kaori described; a tug from somewhere behind my breastbone; like a thread has been wound around my heart and is pulling me forward. I'm certain I know which dragon is waiting for me at the end of this invisible line.

When Rhiannon asked me if I knew which dragon I was going for I had told her. She had been happy for me, a little surprised perhaps by my certainty, and told me she had a feeling about one of the green dragons who had sniffed me. We hugged each other and wished each other good luck, hoping to be reunited later that day as riders.

I reach the clearing a little more than an hour after the dragons first flew overhead. It is a huge clearing, with enough space for a whole riot, but only one dragon is waiting there in the center.

A glossy black head swings towards me as I stepped out of the trees and I pause for a moment, stunned again like I had been at presentation by the sight of them. The dragon is smaller by half than the next largest one who attended presentation and some other cadets had dismissed it based on size alone. I knew, looking at them, that that assessment was a mistake. This dragon is as deadly as any. Built for agility and stealth, with razor sharp talons and the scorpion barb at the end of their tail, this dragon will strike an enemy dead before they even see it coming.

The dragon stands from where it had been sitting and walks over to me.

‘Hello, Violet Sorrengail.’  They say, light and clear directly into my mind.

I gasp. She - yes definitely she- already knows my name?

‘I do.’ she says again, speaking as she had before.

Wait, I hadn't said that outloud.

The dragon gives a delighted chuckle. ‘I am glad to see you are as quick as they say. I am Andarna.’ 

‘It's wonderful to meet you Andarna.’ I say. 

‘Likewise. I've waited a long time for you, Violet.’

I frown. ‘It’s still mid morning.’

I don't get more response for that than another dragon laugh.

‘Shall we fly?’ Asks Andarna. ‘I don’t think we should wait around and risk meeting any of your delightful classmates down here.’

I look up at her shoulder. It isn't as far up as the wall of the gauntlet. I can probably make it, but wonder how to pull myself up. I imagine I could if I grab hold of her pommel scales or the wing joint where it comes out of her back.

‘Would that hurt you?’ I ask.

‘No. My wings have to hold me up, I imagine I can handle your slight weight.’

Backing up to give myself as much momentum as possible I make a run for it. My rubber soled boots managed to grip on Andarna’s scales and I catch a hold of the wing joint. Then I manage to swing a leg up and onto her back. 

‘I think you will want to face the other way.’ Andarna laughs.

Shit. I am facing towards her tail.

Feeling very foolish I turn myself around and settled into the dip in front of her wings. ‘Im sorry, I haven't done this before!’ 

‘Neither have I’  she tells me.

‘I am your first rider? I'm honoured!’

I wrap my hands tight around the pommel scales and when I feel I have as secure a hold and I will get Andarna crouches down before launching into the air.

Air whipps fiercely past me and my heart seems to leap into my throat. We rise, as swift as an arrow shot from a bow, into the sky until we were high above the valley. Andarna levels herself and we glide above the trees towards the snow capped mountains. 

‘This is incredible!’ I cry, the wind ripping words from my mouth as I speak them. I can feel Andarna’s joy at my exhilaration radiating through my mind. 

‘My elders say I must test your ability to hold on.’ Andarna warns.

‘I know,’ I tell her, and I share my memory of my brother’s warning in his journal. 

Andarna soars towards the mountains and then banks right before diving sharply. I squeeze with my knees as hard as I can but I fell myself slipping, my backside lifting off Andarnam I struggle to hold my seat, cursing that I had not trained more for this moment, for what came after choosing, but I had been so focused on surviving this far. I try to get a better hold on Andaran’s scales but my hands slip and in a moment I am left behind, torn from her by the air resistance.

‘Violet!’ 

I tumble for a moment, certain I am falling to my death when suddenly all my breath is knocked from my body as I meet an unyielding surface and something wraps tight around me. I open my eyes as we roll and I see I am hanging in the sky, clutched against Andarna’s chest by her forelegs.

 I am alive.

‘You caught me!’ I gasp.

‘Yes now hold on next time!’ Andarna suggested, panic colouring her voice.

She lowers us towards a snowy saddle between two mountain peaks. She hovers a little above the ground, her wings whipping up snowflakes.

‘I'm sorry I am not sure how else to do this, and this looks soft.’ Andaran warns me.

With that she let me go and I fall a few feet, face first into the snow. I splutter and flounder a little in the drift before finding my feet. Andarna sinks into the snow beside me. 

I looked at her in shock and more than a little disbelief. She hadn't let me fall to my death, not only that I was being given a second chance. 

‘I can leave you on the mountain side if you really want.’ Andarna says. ‘You can spend the year strength training and we can try this again next year, but I would prefer not risking misfortune finding you in the meanwhile.’ 

‘You don't want to reconsider? You don't want to choose someone else?’ 

‘I did not make my choice lightly Violet Sorrengail and I am not choosing a different rider. Now, climb back on.’ 

And then all my previous shock is overshadowed as Andarna kneels before me in the snow, allowing me to use her folded leg like a step to reach her back.

Dragons are supposed supplicated for no-one.

I scramble into the saddle and when Andarna takes off again I instinctively throw myself forward and wrap my arms around the base of her neck. My fingers are just a hands breadth from meeting on the other side. I hold on while Andarna soars, dippes and soars again. Each time I am filled with terror and delight. My grasp feels tenuous and by the time she was is every part of my body aches with the effort of holding on.

‘Allright, I think that should be sufficient.’  Andarna tells me as we level out one last time. 

I release my shaking arms and sit up again. We turn gently and glide more tranquility back towards the box canyon. 

‘Thank you for catching me Andarna.’

‘You are welcome.’ Andarna tells me. ‘I told you I didn’t make this choice lightly, I would not let you fall to your death.’

‘Why though?’ I ask in disbelief. ‘Why would you chose me?’

‘Do you think so little of yourself?’

‘I’m not what riders usually are; I trained all my life to join the scribes, I’m not strong, I’m not a natural warrior.’ I explain.

‘I know this, and, this is why I chose you.’ Andarna says. 

‘Oh,’ There are no words for the absolute honour I feel at her conviction.

‘There is more than one kind of strength, now let us go and have our bond recorded by your elders.’

Chapter Text

We fly over the box canyon where, days ago, presentation had been held. Dragons line the cliffs at the back of the field. On the field there is a line of dragons, sitting expectantly, their heads rising to watch our approach. One other dragon sits at the other side of an invisible divide from them, a cadet - rider now- at their side.

‘We are the second.’ Andarna told me. 

I feel a bit of a thrill at that and I can’t help but wonder what my Mother will think. Will she be pleased? Pleased I lived? Pleased I bonded Andarna and returned so soon? I know it’s more than I should hope for, She threw me into the riders quadrant not caring if I lived or died but I can't help wanting her approval.

When we land softly in the field, a murmur seems to pass through the assembled dragons like a soft breeze through the leaves of a tree. Andarna holds her head up high and I can feel her pride and satisfaction radiating through me. 

I swing my legs over to one side and, worried if I jump I will collapse to the ground on my shaking legs, turn so I can slide as far as possible on my stomach. My knees bend when I land, absorbing the impact. Then when they want to buckle I manage to stay standing through force of will alone.

Boyed by Andarna’s euphoria and my own adrenaline I hold my back straight and march across to the dais where the Generals, professors and high-ranking commanders sit. At the dais base is the table  where the redhead young woman from parapet awaits me, playing record keeper again. 

I firmly keep my eyes off of General Lilith Sorrengail and General Melgren as the record keeper waves me forward.

‘Violet Sorrengail. For the record, please state the name of the dragon who has chosen you.’ The woman tells me.

‘Andarnaurram, Andarna for short.’ 

‘Andarnaurram.’ I repeat.

The redhead records the name and gives me a smile. ‘Congratulations. You are the first rider to record a bond from Fourth Wing.’

‘Do I get a patch for that?’ I ask, smiling.

‘Sadly, no.’ Laughs the redhead. She nods and me and I understand the dismissal.

As I turn to leave I can’t help but look up and my eye catches my mothers. She is listening to something Panchek is saying and looks at me with perfect neutrality. Like I am any rider at all under her command. 

Trying not to let my emotions show on my face I almost run into Professor Kaori who has jumped off the dais to speak with me.

‘Congratulations Rider Sorrengail.’ He says. His face is alight with excitement and I can see he is reluctant to look away from Andarna.

‘Thank you.’ I manage to say.

Kaori falls into step beside me as we approach the small Black Scoirpiontail.

‘It is always exciting when a dragon decides to bond with a rider for the first time. And a Black Dragon too, why it’s been decades. I didn’t know there was a young Black Dragon in the Vale.’ Kaori stops to look up at Andarna with admiration.

She enjoys it, with a swan-like curve in her neck she shows him her profile and swings her tail around so he can see the scorpion barb.

She does look magnificent. Her black coloring is a stark contrast against the mountains, the sky and even the colors of other dragons on the field around us; green, red, orange and brown. No dragon here is even close to as dark as her. Codagh, General Melgren’s Black hasn’t graced us with his presence.

‘Can you please tell…’ Kaori begins.

‘Andarna.’ I supply.

‘Andarna.’ He smiles. ‘Can you please tell Andarna how delighted I am to have had the honour to see her?’

I smile and pass on the message, unnecessarily as Andarna can of course hear him, but you don’t just go around addressing dragons you are not bonded to if you value your life.

‘So that’s the Dragon Watcher.’ Andarna says as Kaori bows and backs away. 

‘Is that what dragons call him?’ I ask.

Andarna and I go to take our place in the line of new bonded pairs. We settle in to wait in the area that will be full by sunset with Fourth Wing dragons and riders. We are of course the first and so we get a prime position, opposite Chradh, the Brown bonded to Flame Section Leader Garrick Travis. 

The surprising downside of bonding early is that it is going to be a long wait. 

The next rider to come to Fourth Wing is Liam Mairi with a Red Swordtail. I am stunned to see this man is carrying a small pack and when he opens it he takes out a freaking sandwich and bites into it. I can't believe it, this guy brought a packed lunch to fight other cadets to the death over dragons. 

He clearly sees me starting and gives me a shrug and a smile. 

‘I skipped breakfast. Too nervous.’ He tells me. 

‘I did too.’ I tell him. 

After a moment of consideration Liam walks over and offers me a roll with cheese. My stomach rumbles and I accept, considering it's highly unlikely this is an assaination attempt. 

‘Thanks.’ I say gratefully and bite into it.

‘It’s Violet isn't it.’ Says Liam.

I nod, my mouth full. I'm pretty sure he knows exactly who I am, and is just being polite.

Liam looks at Andarna over my shoulder. 

‘So the Black Dragon chose you, I guess that makes sense.’ Liam says.

‘What do you mean?’ I ask a little defensively.

‘Just that Black Dragons are cunning and highly intelligent, and you are the smartest person in the whole quadrant. It makes sense to me.’ 

I blink in surprise at the compliment. 

‘Alright then Mairi, what does bonding a Red say about you?’ I ask. 

‘Well, I guess it means that I am loyal and bold.’ He beams at me and puffs out his chest.

Despite myself I laugh. 

Liam catched the eye of someone and nods at them. I follow his gaze and see Garrick beside his dragon, doing up his flight jacket. His executive officer has just come in and he must be taking his shift on patrol. 

‘Well I guess I’ll see you around Violet.’ Says Liam. He offers me an apple from his pack, which I take, before strolling back to his dragon’s side. 

As the morning turns to mid day a trickle of other newly bonded pairs fly in and Andarna and I watch them, and watch the senior years switching in and out to take patrols. Andarna seems surprisingly interested in all of the humans. She has me tell her their names and what I know about them and she tells me about the dragons. 

By the afternoon the trickle is a stream and soon my squad mates start arriving. 

Rhiannon and I hug each other tightly and congratulate each other. I’m so thrilled she has bonded the Green Daggertail; Feirge. Andarna declares her intention to make Rhiannon’s dragon her friend.

It’s late afternoon when I see Dain. 

‘Violet,’ Dain hugs me tightly to his chest before holding me at arms length to look me over. ‘This is great, I’m so happy.’

I feel pleased and stand to my full height beside Andarna, who is herself proud as punch. 

‘And you will always be safe now. Command won’t send you to fight with such a little dragon.’ Dain lifts a hand to cup my cheek

‘Excuse me who are you calling little.’ Andarna hisses in my mind.

I step back from Dains touch in surprise. ‘Dain what are you talking about?’

‘Come on Violet.’ he says gently. ‘It’s alright.’

‘Yes, it’s alright,’ I say, ‘Because I bonded with a dragon, a lethal, fire-breathing, deadly dragon, who-’

Dain looks at me with pitying eyes, like I’m deluding myself, and opens his mouth to say something. I don’t let him, I just raise my voice louder.

‘Who may not be a huge great hulk like some dragons, but is much bigger than a gryphon and can fly circles around Cath.’

‘Damn right I can!’ says Andarna. 

Andarna growls out loud at Dain and he realizes he’s been insulting a dragon. Arguably one of the dumbest things anyone can do, and backs away. 

‘You had better leave.’ I tell him coldly and turn my back to him.

I put a hand on Andarna’s lowered snout. 

‘It’s alright’ I tell her in my mind. ‘We know he is wrong. There is more than one kind of strength. ’

Andarna lets out a sigh and closes her eyes. 

There is movement amongst the dragons across from us, they shuffle aside to make room for Sgaeyl, the huge navy coloured Blue Daggertail who alights across from us. Xaden Riorson jumps down from her back.

Andarna raises her head to look over at Sgaeyl who is looking down at the smaller dragon. Minutes pass while they look at each other.

‘Are you talking to her?’ I ask Andarna. 

‘Yes,’ Andarna tells me. ‘I told her about what your squad leader has said and she has offered to handle Cath if I decide to eat his rider.’ 

I let out a small, hysterical, giggle. I'm shocked and somewaht alarmed that Andarna seems to be on friendly terms with the largest and most powerful dragon in the quadrant. As I laugh I feel Sgeayl’s attention swing to me and keep my eyes firmly lowered. Sgeayl lets out a little huff as she looks back to Andarna. 

I couldn’t help but feel judgment in the gaze of the larger dragon.

‘Sgeayl knows my reasons for choosing.’ Andarna tells me. ‘We discussed it at length when she advised me on the process. She respects that my choice is mine to make.’

I look then, from Andarna to the navy blue Sgeayl and back with a mounting suspicion. Sgeayl’s scales are so dark in the fadeing sunlight, they almost look black.

‘Is she… your mother?’ I whisper out loud. 

‘No. She is not my mother.’

‘Oh,’ I sigh with relief.

‘My parents passed before I hatched.’ Andarna says.

‘Oh, Andarna I am so sorry.’ 

‘It is alright. Dragons have less need for parents than humans do, and I have many elders; Sgeayl has looked out for me, as does her mate Tairn. They have given me a lot of advice.’

I remembered the name of Tairn, whom Kaori had thought was the only unbonded Black Dragon. He is spoken of as a legend, I had not realized he was mated to Sgeayl.

‘I don’t think you could possibly ask for better dragons to give you advice.’ I tell Andarna. 

She preens at that.

‘But why were you concerned about the thought of her being my mother?’ Andarna asks. 

I looked across at Xaden who was talking with his friends. 

‘I see, you have a complicated relationship with her rider.’

‘That’s a funny way of saying he wants to kill me .’ I laugh darkly. 

‘Do you really think that is what he wants?’ Andarna asks.

‘Why wouldn't I? He’s made it obvious.’

‘Has he really?’ Andarna asks me.

I’m still looking at Xaden as I think about her words. Andarna can see my thoughts and memories, I know this, and I think about my encounters with Xaden as though seeing them for the first time.

Xaden seems to feel my eyes on him and he meets my gaze. When I don’t look away he smirks at me and lifts an eyebrow in challenge.

‘Don’t let yourself be blinded by prejudice.’ Andarna advises me. ‘Words are too easily shaped to manipulate, consider his actions without them.’

I don’t know what emotion is on my face but Xaden isn’t smirking at me anymore. He looks deadly serious as he looks from me to my dragon to his own.

When general Melgran’s projected voice sounds over the crowd I almost jump out of my skin in surprise. The ceremony of threshing is finalized and our dragons mark us with their magic, gifting us our relics that will allow them to channel their power to us. 

I feel the touch of Andarna’s magic across my upper back. I reach up to touch it through my shirt and vest.

‘Violet,’ Dain sounds apologetic as he steps up to me. He glances at Andarna who snorts at him in dismissal and looks away.

I feel her though that he isn't worth the trouble and bit my lip to not laught.

‘I want to apologize for what I said before.' Says Dain. 'You know I just want you to be safe, I’d do anything just to know you are safe.’

‘I know Dain.’ I say.

He cups my face and brushes his thumb over my cheek.

‘You have to know how I feel about you.’ He says searching my eyes.

And then he is lowering his face to mine and kissing me.

At first I’m thrilled, I’ve wanted this for so long, but then… it becomes distinctly awkward. I feel nothing; no heat, no lust. Just the awkward press of his lips against mine and I find myself wanting to push him away.

Dain seems pretty into it though, if the wide smile on his face as he pulls away is anything to go by. 

....................................................................................

The newly made riders head back to the keep, for some well earnt food and rest, after saying goodbye to our dragons. Although, Andarna tells me that I can reach out to her at any time, if I need her, and I will be able to speak to her. 

I walk back with the other first years from my squad who bonded dragons and lived; We lost Trina today. Tynan didn’t bond a dragon and is fuming mad. He walks with Oren at a distance from us and I catch more than one pointed look in my direction from the pair.

I’m listening half heartedly to the plans my friends have for tonight, but that terrible kiss with Dain has put a dampener on my mood, when Andarna suddenly asks me about the kiss.

‘What was that, when the squad leader pressed his mouth against yours?’ She asks.

“Oh that was a kiss.’ I tell Andarna. 

‘And what purpose did it serve?’

‘Oh umm, wow, you haven't spent much time around humans at all have you? It's something humans do, I guess, to express affection and romantic interest to each other.’

‘Ooh! It's part of your mating rituals. But, you didn't seem to enjoy it very much. Isn’t mating meant to be pleasurable?’ Asks Andarna.

‘Yeah it is. I guess I didn't enjoy it because Dain and I aren't physically compatible. ’

‘I think I understand. You did not find your Squad Leader's kiss pleasing, and so you are not considering him as a potential mate any longer. This disappoints you?’

‘Yes I guess I am disappointed, I had thought I wanted to have a relationship with him, but it was really, ug. Underwhelming.’ 

‘So we will have to find you a better human to mate with. Definitely one who is pleasurable to kiss and is more respectful to your dragon .’

I smiled at Andarna’s enthusiasm. 

‘You know, ’ Andarna tells me conspiratorially, ‘ Sgaeyl and Tairn have told me that the worst part about having a rider is when they engange in these relationships, but this is fun!’

I can't help laughing out loud at that.

‘What's so funny, Sorrengail?’ Ridoc asks me.

‘Something Andarna told me.’ I say

‘Care to share with the class?’ He asks, throwing an arm over my shoulder.

‘Hmm I vote no on this one.’ 

I snicker again. ‘No Ridoc, I don't think I will.’ 

Chapter Text

Things change in the Rider's Quadrant after Threshing. 

There is a shift in dynamics between those of us who are now riders and the senior years in our squad. They look at us, they smile at us, they speak our names. I hadn’t really realized before how much they had avoided doing these things. Quinn, a second year in my squad, says at breakfast the day after Threshing that this is because there is no point getting to know first years when so many will die.

She has a flippant air about it, but I think of the friends I have lost since parapet and wonder how much pain must be behind a sentiment like that. 

Another change is that all the less desirable chores are now done by the remaining unbonded cadets. Meaning I am not on breakfast duty and can no longer poison my challenge opponents. On the upside, I get assigned library duty. 

Our squads change too. Some are dissolved completely with the reduction in first years and the members reassigned. We were awarded Iron Squad, for having the most first years survive from Parapet to Presentation and we are not dissolved. Dain seems to think it’s all due to his actions, and after we gain Liam Mairi to the squad in the reshuffle he acts like the gauntlet patch is on his shoulder not Liam's. 

‘I wonder if his dragon is large enough to carry him and his ego.’ Andarna asks me with pointed sourness. 

The biggest change after threshing is of course that Andarna is always with me now.

‘He won’t be if Dain’s head gets any bigger.’ I laugh.

I had worried briefly about how comfortable this would be, and if I would feel a lack of privacy, but if feels… natural.

I feel Andarna’s mental presence and her curiosity when she’s interested in what is going on, sometimes offering thoughts and comments. I already can't imagine my life without her there.

..................................................................

‘What is Feirge's favorite subject?’ I ask Rhiannon one afternoon as we walk to the flight field. 

‘What do you mean Violet?’ She looks puzzled.

‘Andarna is interested in history, but she's most talkative in Battle Brief.’ 

Rhiannon gives me a curious look. ‘Maybe it's because she's a Black Dragon that she's so interested? I don't think Feirge could care less about history, or what we discuss in Battle Brief.’

‘Feirge has had other riders right? Maybe it's because Andarna hasn't heard it all before.’ 

‘Maybe.’ Rhiannon shrugs

‘Dragons have their own records of history as well don't they?’ I think at Andarna. 

‘They do. The elders pass it down.’ Andarna confirms. ‘We do not write books of history of course, I find those a very interesting concept. Although the flammability of paper seems like a vulnerability to me.’

.............................................................

In the mornings before breakfast every day I got to the Archives. My chore is to return books borrowed by the Rider’s small library and collect new requests. I have been hoping over the last month to see a particular scribe cadet on duty and today I finally do. It is so  wonderful to see Jesinia and talk with her again. 

As I push the cart with it’s new load of books back towards the riders quadrant Andarna interrupts my thoughts. 

‘What is the significance of the book you asked your friend to look up for you?’ 

‘The Fables of the Barrens? It has sentimental value for me, as my father read the stories to me as a child, and gave me a copy. I couldn’t bring it with me to the Riders Quadrant when I joined.’

‘I see. Through this book you seek connection with him.’

‘I do.’ 

As I crossed the bridge between the Healers’ Quadrant and the Riders’ I think again on how odd it is that this subject of folklore and fable seemed to be omitted from the archives. 

‘What is a fable? ’ asks Andarna.

‘It is a story that parents tell their young children, but not one that has actually happened like history. ’ I say, uncertain how to best explain the concept.

‘Human parents tell their young stories that are untrue? ’ asked Andarna. ‘ Why? ’

‘Yes, partly because it is entertaining for them. Do dragons not do that? ’

‘Dragons tell many stories. But they all serve an educational purpose. ’ Andarna says.

‘Fables do too ,’ I tell her, ‘just because a story is not literally true does not mean it doesn't teach a lesson, offer advice, or provide a warning, through metaphor.’

‘Metaphor. hmm, How can you tell, when a book is to be literally believed and when it is metaphor?’

‘It depends on the intention of the author.’ I tell her.

‘Yes but how can you know what that was? Especailly if the author is deceased? '

‘I guess I learnt to make that interpretaton for a text I am reading. I was taught by my father and other teachers, when I was studying to be a scribe. And some books have had that interperetation made for us, when scribes classifly them as history or fiction.’ 

I can feel that Andarna is not completely satisfied by this answer, but she lets the subject rest as I leave the cart at the library and make my way to breakfast.

I take a seat with my squad, sitting beside Rhiannon and across from Liam who gives me a smile that shows his dimple. 

Liam has adjusted really well to being in second squad, flame section. His warm and open personality immediately recommended him to everyone. 

‘You know ,’ I say to Andarna. ‘ Liam is very respectful to you. ’ 

My lack of ‘socialization’ has been noted by my friends, and I have been teased for being picky. 

‘Yes, but I don’t think you should try kissing him.’ says Andarna sadly.

‘Why not?’

She sighs in my mind. ‘I don’t think you will be physically compatible with him, anymore than you were with the Squad Leader.’

‘What, how can you tell that?’

‘He doesn't make your heart beat faster when he looks at you.’ Andarna tells me.

Liam looks up at me from his breakfast as if to prove her point and I realize she’s right.

I look back down at my own breakfast. There is a prickle along the back of my scalp and I glance up at the leadership table and briefly meet Xaden’s eyes. My traitorous heart lunches in my chest.

‘See,’ Says Andarna. ‘Like that.’

‘Oh NO.’

I would say I don’t feel that way about Xaden, but it would be a lie. And I guess lying to the dragon who can literally feel my feelings would be pointless

‘Despite whatever physical reaction I have to Xaden Riorson, I. Don’t. Like. Him. And besides he would never consider me that way, I know he hates me. ’ I reason.

‘You don’t know that, you only think you do.’ Says Andarna. ‘I could ask Sgeayl what…’

‘NO!’ I shout cutting her off.

It’s only when everyone stares at me that I realize I’ve said that out loud and I am so mortified I wish the floor would open up beneath me.

‘Are you alright violet?’ Rhiannon asks me softly.

‘Yeah,’ I smile weakly, ‘I was having a… disagreement with Andarna.’

She accepts this answer, but keeps giving me looks for the rest of breakfast.

Chapter Text

'Wake Violet! Wake! Or you will die!’

Oren holds me pinned to his chest with one arm while the other has my throat, slowly cutting off my air. ‘You never should have been allowed to live long enough to bond a dragon Sorrengail, not even your pathetically weak one.’

I gasp desperately for breath as my hands claw ineffectually at his fingers and wrist. 

‘MINE!’ Andarna’s voice cuts through my mind, loud and fierce as a sudden burning heat spreads through my body from the relic on my back. My mind and my body hum with the sudden flood of power, but it feels like a stream meeting a dam wall and I flail; kicking out, unable to grasp an outlet to direct the power that threatens to burn me from the inside-out. The torrent of power fizzes and bubbles under my skin seeking something, but what I do not know.

I feel myself growing dizzy with lack of air and know I am running out of time. I wish, desperately, for escape and the image comes to me suddenly of Andarna standing under the stars on damp grass; the scent of dew in the air and the night like an inky blanket around her. My heart aches with longing to be with her and suddenly the unfocused tide of energy within me coalesces into a bright burning point in my mind before it pops like a soap bubble. 

I stumble suddenly forwards as I am released from Oren’s grasp and I fall, impossibly, to my hands and knees in the grass. I gasp deep lungfuls of biting cold air as my mind struggles to understand where I am.

‘You are safe, Violet, you are safe!’ Andara says with fierce affection and I feel her breath ruffle my hair in a relieved sigh. 

I'm alive, I'm alive.

‘You are alive.’ Andarna agrees.

I lift my upper body to wrap my arms around her head as she lowers it before me. Closing my eyes I rest my face against her while I satisfy my body's need for oxygen.

My mind races, still a swirl of panicked thoughts as the adrenaline courses through me.

‘I don’t understand,’ I tell Andarna , ‘what did you do? How did you bring me here?’

‘You wielded.’ Andarna says simply. ‘I channeled to you; that is what Sgaeyl and Tairn said I should do, and you wielded.’ 

And I feel that it is true. Andarna’s power is still there under my skin. It is now quiet and soft; flowing like a gentle stream through me, no longer a rageing torrent. I had somehow used it and brought myself to her. 

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the sound of movement behind Andaran. It's the shifting of giant wings and large feet.

I open my eyes and look over Andarna’s head to see the silhouette of an absolutely huge dragon behind her. 

‘Tairn says we should go.’ Andarna tells me gently. ‘You shouldn’t be here and the elders will be angry if you are noticed. ’

‘Where are we?’ I whisper.

‘The Vale.’ Andara tells me. 

I quake all over for a new reason. The Vale is a place no human is supposed to go. If I get discovered will I be roasted alive?

‘Hush, do not panic.’ Andarna soothes. ‘You have not been detected and if we leave now you will not be. Now climb on’

I obey her, although it’s awkward to mount her in my nightgown and I know I’m going to be frozen once we are flying. Her scales are pleasantly warm under my bare legs and I huddle as low as I can against her. 

Andarna springs into the air and I squeeze my eyes tight against the cold air. It’s pointless to try and maintain any dignity as my nightgown and hair stream out behind me. Past the rushing of air I can hear the sound of other wings and when I look I see not just one, but two massive dark shapes beside us against the sky.

Soon we descend and land, Andarna a short distance from her two enormous escorts. I slide half frozen off Andarna’s shoulder and huddle against her face desperate for the warmth she gives off. She opens her mouth and gently breaths out a long, slow gust of steam at me. I am so grateful for it I shudder in delight.

A deep voice suddenly calls out across the flight field towards us. ‘Sorrengail? What the fuck are you doing!?’

My heart rate which had just started to calm jumps again.

‘It is alright,’ Andarna soothes, ‘It is Sgaeyls’ rider.’

That somehow dosn’t help as much as she thinks it will.

I turn, keeping my hand on Andara’s head which she keeps lowered before me, and face Xaden. He's not alone; His cousin Bodhi and his friend Garrick stand behind him. The three are (unlike me) dressed for the cold night, wearing cloaks and each has a matching look of utter disbelief on his face as he looks at the sight before him.

Xaden’s eyes rake over me, taking in my bare legs and feet clearly visible in the moonlight below my nightgown. Goosebumps rise in response across my skin and I start shivering again. Do I imagine the tightening of his jaw as his eyes hang on my hemline at mid thigh?

‘Taking a moon-lit flight in your nightie?’ snickers Garrick. 

Xaden tears his eyes from my legs and looks suddenly serious. ‘Sgeayl says you were attacked in your sleep.’ 

‘Yes.’ I croak wincing at the harsh sound. 

‘Are you hurt?’ Xaden asks, striding towards me. 

‘I’ll live,’ I answer. 

Xaden stops with-in reach of me and gives me a hard assessing look. I cross my arms over my chest defensively.

‘Are those bruises on your neck?’ he asks with cold calm.

I nod. 

‘Are you injured anywhere else?’

‘Another bruise or two.’ 

He looks like he wants to fight me on my evasion. When another full body shiver overtakes me his gaze softenes and he shrugs out of his cloak.

I stare open mouthed at him as he holds it out to me.

‘I don't have all night Violence. Take the cloak.’

‘Thank you.’ I mumble.

I gratefully wrap it around myself. It still holds his body heat and I struggle desperately with myself against the urge to sigh in pleasure and bury my face in it, savoring the smell of him.  Xaden watches me put the cloak on and then turns away abruptly. I send wordless gratitude to Andarna for not commenting on my feelings I know she is sensing. 

‘It would be hitting you when you are already down. ’ she tells me with simpathy. ‘that’s a metaphor.’

A loud chuff is directed down at us and I look up to see Sgeayl place her fore-feet either side of Andarna and I. Gods she is big. She gazes down at her rider.

‘What happened?’ Xaden asks, looking back at me. ‘Why are you out here less than half dressed?’

I do my best to explain, muddled as I still am from the shock of my unexpected adventure; how I had been woken by Andarna and found Tynan and Oren in my room, how they said they had come to correct a mistake. How I had tried to fight them off, managing to wound Tynan but how Oren had overpowered me, and of his hold on my neck.

‘And then, Andarna started to channel to me and I think, I think my signet manifested.’ I say.

All three men stare expectantly.

‘How did you fight them off?’ prompts Bodhi.

‘I didn’t’ I say. ‘One moment I was there with Oren holding me and suddenly, I wasn’t. I was with Andarna.’

I see Bodhi’s eyes widen in shock as the implication hits, and hear Xaden’s intake of breath. 

‘Must be some kind of distance wielding.’ Bodhi says to his cousin.

But Xaden is still focused on me, I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. 

‘You didn’t tell us how they got into your room.’ Xaden points out. ‘How did two unbonded get past your lock?’

‘There was a rider with them.’ I swallow thickly and looked from Xaden to Bodhi and Garrick and then back. Making an accusation against a wingleader is dangerous, and I am not sure I can trust them.

‘You can tell me,’ Xaden prompts angrily. ‘Do you think I am going to protect someone who would help the unbonded murder riders in their sleep?’

‘It was Amber Mavis.’ I say.

Garrick swears. 

Xaden holds my gaze for a long moment before turning away and addressing his cousin and friend. ‘Bodhi you will walk Violet back to her room. Garrick and I will deal with the unbonded now.’ 

I feel a sense of relief wash over me at his words. I hadn’t yet mentally faced the problem that I would have to return to the citadel tonight, and that my attackers were still at large; likely wishing to finish what they had started. 

I sag with relief against Andarna’s side while Xaden and the others talk between themselves. I huddle further into my borrowed cloak, wrapping it tight around myself and take all the warmth and comfort I can from leaning against Andarna. 

‘Sorrengail?’

I turn to find Xaden watching me expectantly. ‘Are you ready to go?’ he asks. 

I nodded and try to shove down the anxiety I feel at the idea of returning to my room.

‘It is okay. I will deal with your attackers.’ Xaden tells me.

‘Is this my favor?’ I ask.

He considers that a moment. ‘No, this is just the right thing to do.’

Xaden turns then and strides away, Garrick at his side.

I say farewell to Andarna.

‘You are safe.’ She reminds me. ‘Now rest, I will see you tomorrow.’

Bodhi waited for me and he walks beside me as we followed the others. The little group is silent until we reach the top of the stairs and I let out a small gasp at the first touch of cold stone against my bare feet.

‘I could lend you my boots?’ Bodhi offers uncertainty, looking not at me but at the back of his cousin's head.

‘Do you need to be carried, like a heroine in a novel?’ Xaden askes dryly.

His words make me think of that night under the oak tree and I know he is making fun of me. 

‘No thank you, on both accounts.’ I say tartly, feeling my cheeks flush.

Then slightly regrett it as Bodhi had genuinely offered help after all. 

‘Your boots are so large I’d likely only trip over and fall all the way down.’ I tell him truthfully.

‘I guess you can’t just distance wield back?’ Garrick asks.

‘Correct, I have absolutely no Idea how I would replicate it.’

‘It’s like that for everyone at first.’ Bodhi says. ‘But by this time next year, it will be second nature for you.’

I return his smile, surprised by the kindness of his words.

‘No more chit-chat.’ says Xaden sternly as we approached the tunnel to the keep. 

We walk in silence then, the rest of the way to my room. I feel the others grow tenser as we stepped inside the dormitory building but we reach my room without encountering anyone.

My door was left wide open. My bed is a mess and some of the contents of my armoire have been heaped on the ground, it looks like they searched for me before leaving. 

Wordlessly Garrick and Xaden leave Bodhi with me and close the door. 

I awkwardly take a seat on my bed while he summons a small magelight and sits at the desk. We stare at each other. 

‘I don’t think they will be long.’ Bodhi offers.

I tuck my frozen feet up on the bed and drape a blanket over them, rubbing to warm them up. I wonder if I should try and make conversation, like ask what they had all been doing out in the middle of the night, but think better of that particular question and nothing else comes to mind. 

‘What was distance wielding like?’ Bodhi asks.

‘One second I was here, and then I was there.’ I say.

‘Just like that?’

‘Yes.’ I say thoughtfully. ‘I wanted to get away, and I suddenly saw Andarna in my mind, and then I was there.’

Bodhi looks at me thoughtfully. ‘You saw where she was?’

‘I think I saw in her mind where she was. I could feel the grass and smell the night air before I was there.’ I say. 

‘Interesting.’ 

‘What is your signet?’ I ask, thinking maybe this is an okay way to progress the conversation.

‘It is classified.’

‘Oh.’ I say surprised. ‘I am sorry for asking?’

Bodhi shrugs and it’s really awkward again untill he speaks. ‘What did you mean when you asked Xaden if this was your favor?’

‘Oh he didn’t tell you?’ I ask, surprised. 

Bodhi shakes his head. 

‘I um, I accidentally spied on a meeting you had with the first year marked ones.’ I tell him. 

Bodhi’s eyebrows go up in surprise. ‘And Xaden knew?’ he says disbelievingly. 

‘I told him I won’t tell anyone, as you were just helping them. He said if I didn’t tell, he’d owe me a favor.’

‘And you didn’t tell.’ Says Bodhi.

‘I didn’t.’ I agree. 

He gives me a long, assessing look that reminds me so strongly of Xaden that I find myself wanting to laugh. The physical similarities between the cousins are striking. Bodhi is almost a gentler, more approachable looking Xaden, although nothing about him makes my body respond in the same way it does to Xaden.

Just like Bodhi said, Xaden dosn’t take long. He returns soon alone, a soft knock letting us expect him him a moment before the door opens. 

‘Dealt with.’ Xaden says coming into the room. He gives his cousin a look that is clearly understood. 

‘Well, see you round Sorrengail.’ Bodhi says as he leaves. 

‘You will be safe tonight. ’ Xaden tells me. 

‘Thank you.’ I slip his cloak off my shoulders and stand to hand it back to him.

He is the one who hesitates this time. 

‘I hear you have trouble holding your seat flying.’ He says looking at my outstretched hand. 

‘Why do you care?’ I ask. Although I am actually starting to believe Xaden isn't going to kill me,  I don't kid myself we are suddenly friends. 

Xaden scowls. ‘I'm your Wingleader. You have just manifested an unbelievably rare signet that could be a serious asset. And besides,’ He gives a half shrug. ‘Sgaeyl would be sad if Andarna lost her first rider before graduation.’ 

‘I can get a good grip because she is so small, but my muscles get tired.’ I admit. 

‘I'll ask Imogen to help you with strength training.’ He says.

‘Why Imogen?’ I ask, pulling a face. 

‘Because she is in your squad, and I don't have time to train all random first years who need help. Wingleader remember?’ 

‘Liam is in my squad now, you moved him after threshing and he hasn't ever tryed to trip my arm off.’ I say thinking of the more agreeable Tyrr.

‘Liam will take it easy on you. He won't make you work hard enough.’ Xaden counters.

‘Wonderful.’ I mutter.

‘Fine, suit yourself. Don’t accept the help.’ Xaden huffs.

‘Andarna catches me when I fall.’ I tell him.

‘Yes.’ he agrees ‘but all it takes is one time she isn’t fast enough, one time she’s distracted or one time she’s flying too low, and you are dead.’

I am the one to look away this time, unable to hold his fierce gaze. I heard the truth of his words. 

‘If Imogen agrees, I’ll train with her.’ I admit.

‘Good.’ Says Xaden.

He steps forward to take the cloak that I am still holding, limply now at my side. His fingers brush mine and with a flash of his eyes on my face he turns and leaves. 

......................................................................................

‘Why didn't you tell me she was being attacked if you knew? I could have helped her.’ Xaden asks Sgaeyl on the walk back to his room.

Sgaeyl sent a mental shrug through the bond. ‘It wasn't my place to interfere. The girl saved herself didn't she? I care for Andarna but if she had chosen poorly and her rider had died, that would have been a valuable lesson.’ 

Despite his best efforts Xaden couldn't help but feel the sting of the sentiment on Violet's behalf.

‘Do you not care that my life depends on keeping her alive?’ He asked.

‘Even the girl's mother doesn't expect you to watch her while she sleeps. She certainly wouldn't want you to if she knew the thoughts you have about her daughter.’ Sgaeyl sent with amusement. 

Xaden was not surprised to see Garrick and Bodhi waiting outside his room. He internalized a sigh as they followed him in. He really didn't want to face the questions they undoubtedly had, but he didn’t have much choice. 

‘Well that was unexpected.’ Said Garrick. ‘The mini Sorrengail is a distance wielder.’

‘Very unexpected.’ Said Bodhi.

Xaden watched them exchange a look and knew they were both reluctant to be the one who voiced whatever thought it was they shared. 

‘But possibly very useful.’ Said Garrick. 

‘No.’ Said Xaden crossing his arms.

‘Why not, I thought you trusted her?’ Asked Bodhi with genuine confusion. 

‘Is it because of who's daughter she is?’ Asked Garrick.

‘More like who's sister she is.’ Xaden answered.

‘I would have thought that was more reason to bring her in.’ Said Bodhi.

‘Are you sure it's not because of what you feel for her?’ Asked Garrick. 

Xaden glared at him. ‘I don’t feel anything for her.’ 

Garrick rolled his eyes. ‘Sure you don't. Because you'd have that response to anyone being attacked.’

Bodhi laughed and earned his own glare. 

‘If this attraction is a problem for you, you should just sleep with her already.’ Suggested Garrick. 

‘I also don't understand why you don't act on your urges. We both know the girl thinks you are a desirable mate.’ Sgaeyl told him.

‘I'm done with this conversation.’ Xaden said. ‘Both of them.’

‘Allright, suit yourself. Continue to suffer.’ Laughed Garrick, and he followed Bodhi to the door.

Chapter Text

The next morning there is a knock at my door just as I'm about to leave for library duty. I open the door cautiously, my right hand on a dagger, but relax when I see it's Liam.

‘Hey Violet,’ he says, ‘ I came to ask if you would like someone to walk with you to the archives this morning.’

‘Who told you?’ I ask opening the door a little wider.

‘Riorson.’ Says Liam.

Ah.

‘Thanks Liam but I don't.’ I tell him.

‘Are you sure?’

In truth I am a little shaken by what had happened last night, but the last thing I want is to have members of my squad following me around like bodyguards. I have a reputation to think of, and surviving a murder attempt makes me look strong. Cowering behind my squadmates after said murder attempt? Not so much.

‘Yeah I am. It's morning, I'm awake, I am fully dressed as well as armed.’ I gesture to the daggers sheathed at my sides. ‘I feel comfortable walking to the archives alone.’

‘Alright then.’ He’s not completely happy with my answer but he accepts it which makes me smile.

‘So, are you and Riorson friends?’ I ask him as I step into the corridor and close my door

I've been wondering since threshing if Liam is one of Xaden’s friends; or more specifically if Liam is in the small group of people he trusts, rather than just another cadet from Tyrrendor. I've never seen Liam with him after curfew, but they both speak of each other with familiarity.

‘Yeah, you could say we are friends. I knew him before Basgaith if that's what you mean.’ Liam's face drops. ‘Is that a problem?’

‘For us? No.’ I shake my head without hesitation. ‘I was just wondering. Thanks again for the offer to walk with me, but I am really fine.’

‘See you later then.’ Liam says and heads back to his room as I continue down the corridor.

................................................................

‘Good morning.’ I say casually as I place my breakfast tray on the table and sit with my squad.

Sawyer looks at me and his eyes go comically wide. ‘Gods above, Violet!’

All the eyes at the table are on me then, or more specifically on the huge purple bruise on my neck shaped like Oren’s hand. All the eyes except Liam, who has a frown on his face, but does not look surprised like the others.

‘Violet! Are you all right?’ Ask Rhiannon.

‘Yes, I’m fine. It totally looks worse than it is.’ I try to reassure her.

‘This isn’t some kind of sex thing is it?’ asks Ridoc and Rhiannon reaches up to whack him on the head.

‘Be serious Ridoc, she's hurt.’

‘No Ridoc, it's not a sex thing.’ I roll my eyes. ‘I was attacked in my sleep last night.’

‘What! How?’ Asks Rhiannon with worry.

‘Well,’ I begin. ‘I was asleep and Andarna woke me up. Oren and Tynan were in my room. Oren got me in a chokehold and then my signet manifested. One second I was in my room, the next I was with Andarna.’

‘Violet! That’s incredible!’

‘Way to go Sorrengail!’ cheers Ridoc.

I smile at my friends as they congratulate me.

‘What do you even call a signet like that?’ Asks Sawyer.

‘I don't know, I guess it's some kind of distance wielding.’ I say, repeating Bodhi’s words from last night.

‘But what happened with Tynan and Oren? Why didn’t you come to us for help?’ Demands Rhiannon.

‘They are not still walking around are they?’ Asks Sawyer. He scans the line of unbonded on kitchen duty looking for Oren.

‘No, they are not. After I wielded Andarna flew me to the flight field and Sgaeyl came with us, she must have called Xaden because he met us there. He and Garrick Travis “dealt” with them. Though I did not ask what they meant by that term.’

It makes me uneasy, realizing I accepted so readily whatever fate they deemed suitable for Oren and Tynan last night. I should have at least asked Xaden what he was going to do. I can’t really feel sorry at the idea of hearing their names on the death roll this morning, but I do feel an odd sense of responsibility.

‘There actions were their own, not your responsibility. The punishment they face they will have brought on themselves.’ Andarna says to me gently.

‘Gods Vi, I don't  know which part of this to be more shocked about.’ Says Ridoc. ‘The murder attempt, the distance wielding or Riorson's huge terrifying dragon helping you.’

I shake my head. ‘I don’t think she did it to help me. She is fond of Andarna.’

The others exchange a look.

‘Really?’ asked Ridoc.

‘Sgeayl is known for being terrifying and unapproachable, even by the other dragons.’ Sawyer says.

‘Andarna was orphaned before she hatched. As her elders, Sgeayl and her mate have been mentoring her on having a rider.’ I explain.

‘Wild.’ Mutters Ridoc.

‘It was good of Riorson to help you, even after his dragon woke him up in the middle of the night.’ Rhiannon observes.

I glance at Liam. I am certain Xaden and the others had not been asleep when I was attacked.  but I don't correct Rhiannon.

‘He was absolutly furious that they would attack a rider in their sleep.’ I say nodding.

We are all silent for a moment, thinking no doubt that if one of us isn't safe in their sleep then none of us are.

‘Tell us more about distance wielding, was it epic?’ Asks Ridoc.

I let him change the subject and do my best to answer their question until breakfast wraps up.

...............................................................

When Oren and Tynan are marched out before the podium where Xaden stands, their hands bound before them, I think that this will be the end of it. But then Xaden declares that a rider aided them.

‘Come forward and answer for your crime against Cadet Sorrengail, Wingleader Amber Mavis.’

The courtyard is in uproar.

‘Violet get up there now and stop this!’ Says Dain, pointing to the podium.

‘She was there.’ I tell Dain calmly, knowing shouting won’t help me convince him. ‘She was there, she let them in to my room.’

‘She wouldn’t do that. She has too much respect for the rules.’ He tells me.

I have no response for that. I just look at the man I considered my best friend, and shake my head at him.

‘Let me see.’ He demands and he steps towards me with his hands lifted to cup my face.

I take half a step back in shock, how could I have forgotten his signet?

For a moment I want to object. This is Dain, who knows me as well as anyone and my word should be enough for him. It breaks my heart a little that it isn’t. But I don’t have a good reason to refuse, and I know if I do it will look like I have something to hide.

I nod in agreement and Dain places his hands on either side of my face and I close my eyes. I expect to feel something, for there to be some sign of his signet in use but there isn’t. This touch is just like any of the dozen that have occurred between us since I crossed the Parapet. The warm calloused brush of his hands is there on my face and then it isn’t.

I open my eyes and meet Dain's wide eyes. His face is pale with shock. There is apology and pity in his eyes as he looks at me and I harden myself against it.

‘My word should have been enough for you.’ I bite out at him. ‘You are my oldest friend Dain, and you believed the word of a woman who plotted to kill me, over mine.’

‘I'm so sorry Vi, Violet.’ he looks desperate ‘Please forgive me.’

I am so furious I can’t look at him.

Xaden has called a quorum of the Wingleaders and Nyra and Septon have joined him on the podium. Amber is yelling at them, claiming Xaden is lying; motivated by her family’s refusal to join his father’s Rebelion.

‘Shit is about to get real.’ Mutters Ridoc behind me as the dragons arrive.

Andarna takes her place on the walls beside Sgeayl while Nyra and Septon’s dragons flank them and they face off against Amber’s dragon Claidh.

Amber’s words make my stomach clench. I hate that she is turning this into a personal attack on Xaden, when all he’s done is believe me and try to uphold the rules that keep us all safe. As safe as we can be anyway.

‘If you are really sorry, then do something.’ I say turning back to Dain.

‘Like what? Violet, what do you want me to do?’ he asks disbelievingly.

I stare incredulous. I want him to march up to the front and tell the other WIngleaders, tell the entire quadrant that I’m speaking the truth, that he’s seen it.

Before I can find the words to tell Dain this Xaden speaks again.

‘The Wingleaders have formed a quorum, and we find you guilty Amber Mavis.’ Xaden announces.

‘No! It's not a crime to rid the quadrant of the weakest rider!’ Amber yells. ‘I did it to protect the integrity of the Wings!’

I guess she has given up on denial as a strategy.

‘That spineless…’ Rhiannon seethes.

Above Xaden’s head Andarna bares her teeth and hisses with a rage that makes my blood run cold. Claidh spreads her wings behind Amber and roars at Andarna.

Vaguely, I hear Xaden say Amber and the two unbonded will be executed by fire. Anger that I know is not my own is flooding my body, making my limbs shake. In some small corner of my mind I cry out against what is happening around me, I know I should feel horror at what I am seeing, I should feel scared for Andarna being threatened by a larger dragon and I should object to Amber’s execution. But I don’t, I don’t do any of it; I want to leap across the courtyard and tear Amber’s neck out with my own teeth. I want her blood to stain the courtyard in warning to any one else who would threaten what is mine.

Keeping my feet planted where I am is all I can manage as Second and Third Wings separate, leaving a space in the center of the courtyard, with Amber, Oren and Tynan in the middle.

A fierce and unholy sense of justice fills me as Andarna’s jaws part and flames scorch the stone where they stood. I squeeze my eyes shut against the heat.

‘Violet!’ hands grab my shoulders.

When my eyes fly open I see Dain’s face, so close to mine.

‘Don’t touch me.’ I hiss.

My body is trembling with Andarna’s wrath and whatever he sees in my face makes Dain drop his hands and step backwards.

‘These are not your feelings Violet, It’s Andarna flooding your bond.’ He tells me.

‘I know that.’ I snap. ‘Gods Dain! I’m not an idiot.’

Suddenly the wave of rage in me recedes and I almost slump to the ground, like anger alone was holding me up. Rhiannon is at my side offering me her arm as I get my feet back under myself.

‘I am sorry.’ Andarna says, and I can feel her regret. ‘In my anger I forgot to shield my emotions from you.’

I feel regret and sorrow in the wake of Andarna’s anger. I hadn’t hated Amber, and I am filled with regret that this ended with her death.

‘Your compassion is a strength Violet, but it is wasted on her.’ Andarna says with sorrow.

The one thing I don’t feel is anger at Andarna. I can feel in this moment how fiercely she loves me and I know she only did what she must to protect her own heart.

People are talking around me, and as control over my own body comes back to me I make myself listen. Rhiannon is arguing with Dain about something. I catch the name Carr when another voice joins in.

‘I will take her.’ Says Xaden.

I look up at his face, but he isn’t looking at me.

Rhiannon squeezes my arm as she lets it go and I am able to give her a reassuring smile. ‘It’s passed. I’m alright now.’ I say and it’s almost the truth.

‘Come on Sorrengail.’ Xaden says and he turns and begins to walk to the academic wing.

I follow him and soon he leads me away from the flow of other cadets who are heading to class. After we ascend a flight of stairs Xaden waits to walk at my side rather than striding ahead.

‘You let him see your memory.’ Xaden says, his voice neutral.

I know what he means, although he doesn't say Dain’s name. I am surprised he saw and understood what was happening from where he was standing. I wondered for a moment if he is concerned for the security of the secret I hold on his behalf. I dismiss the idea as soon as it appears, his demeanor is one of casual interest, there is no cold intensity to him now.

Although, I actually have no way of knowing what Dain saw in my memory and the thought makes me shudder.

‘I didn't feel I had a choice.’ I say. ‘He didn’t believe me.’

Xaden doesn't respond.

‘Where are you taking me?’ I ask.

‘Professor Carr. Your signet manifested, remember?’

I stop in the corridor feeling a brand new wave of trepidation. I would much rather stay with Xaden, as friendly and approachable as he is, than meet with the wielding Professor.

Noticing I am no longer following him Xaden stops too. ‘Keep up Violence.’ he sees the look on my face and sighs. ‘What is it?’

‘What if he decides I'm dangerous?’ I whisper.

Xaden scowls.

‘You were there that day! When he killed that first year Jeremiah, I know you were. He didn't even ask any questions. What if he does that to me?’ I say.

‘Don’t be stupid. He was an intinnsic, you don't have anything to fear from Carr.’ Xaden snaps. He turns and continues down the hall.

I follow, mentally kicking myself. What was I thinking, that I would get reassurance or understanding from Xaden? Did I think last night somehow changed things between us? That his standing up in front of the entire quadrant to punish my attackers meant something? He doesn't like me, and he told me himself he was only doing what was right. I try to blame the emotional turmoil of the morning for my lack of judgment.  

Xaden stops at a closed door and knocks. When called he opens it and steps in before me.

‘Wingleader Riorson.’ Professor Carr says as he stands from behind his desk.

‘Sir, Cadet Sorrengail's signet manifested.’ Xaden says and he gestures for me to step into the room.

Carr looks down at me assessingly.

‘She can distance wield. She was attacked last night, she escaped by transporting herself to her dragon’s side.’

Carr's snowy eyebrows climb up his face. ‘Really?’

I nod.

‘You had better come in then, Cadet Sorrengail.’ Carr waves to a seat before his desk and dismisses Xaden with a nod.

With a stomach full of knots I step into the room. I am worried my breakfast might be going to try and reappear. I can't help glancing at Xaden and as he closes the door between us and I swear there is a flicker of something there in his face that isn't calm indifference, or even hatred. Concern? He's gone before I can be sure.

Carr opens a notebook before him on the desk and I take my seat.

Chapter Text

‘Try again, Cadet Sorrengail.’

I am standing in a clearing in the forest with Professor Carr beside me. This is where we have come for wielding lessons every afternoon this week, since I started channeling from Andarna. Just like every other time I am unable to make my signet work, no matter how hard I try.

I close my eyes and ground my feet in my mental archives and open the door to let Andarna’s power flow in. I picture in my mind the spot I am aiming for a few feet ahead of me and I will myself to move. I visualize myself there. I mentally try to take a step.

Minutes pass.

‘I am going to have to get someone to attack you to get a result, Cadet Sorrengail? Or was Wingleader Riorson mistaken about what happened?’ Carr asks.

Irritation bubbles within me and I open my eyes.

‘Rude.’ says Andarna from where she watches at the edge of the clearing and swishes her tail.

The shadows from the trees have grown long in the fading afternoon. I am tied and sore from flight practice today and from my recent evenings spent training with Imogen. I'd really like to be done here, but Carr has said he won't let me go today until we make some progress.

Carr consults his notebook and tells me to walk him through what happened the night of the attack, for the hundredth time.

‘Maybe you can only use it to travel to your dragon.’ He suggests. ‘Or only at night time, but try going to your Dragon first and if we are still here when the sun goes down we can test that theory.’

Gritting my teeth I close my eyes. I intend to try, I really do; but what I want, what I am longing for is to go back to my room and rest. I think of the small but comfortable room in the citadel on the hill behind me and suddenly the golden power swirling in my mind coalesces into a single point and hangs there a second.

The noise around me changes. The Forest sounds of bare branches in the wind and birds are replaced by muffled voices echoing off corridors and a door closing in the distance.

‘Violet?’ Andarna’s voice is worried.

‘I am here’ I tell her.

I open my eyes and find myself in my room.

‘I did it! I distance wielded!’ I tell her elated.

‘Thats wonderful, I  knew you could do it. I’ve told Breugan to tell his rider. Do you think you can come back to me?’

Andarna sends me the mental image of the clearing before her and I channel. This time I'm conscious of the fact that I can sense the distance between us as well as the tug of wanting as the power focuses on her location. I reach for the bright point and open my eyes in the clearing.

‘Where did you go?’ Carr demands when he sees me at Andarna’s side.

‘My room.’

He looks surprised by that.

‘So far, hmmn. What did you do differently?’ He has his pen poised to note down my answer.

I think about this. I think the difference is that I wanted to go there, while I hadn't wanted to stay anywhere near him in this clearing when trying before.

Deciding that was maybe not the best thing to say I shrug. ‘When I came back, I felt I wanted to be with Andarna. And I felt the distance between us. ’

Carr considers this and gives me an assessing look.

‘Try again while the feeling is fresh. A smaller distance this time; just across the clearing.’

I turn and pick out a spot on the other side of the clearing. This time I keep my eyes open and feel the distance between me and that patch of grass while I let the power flow into me. It takes hardly a trickle of power this time, and I'm there. Or rather everything else has moved around me; these trees closer and Carr is further away. I have no sense of having moved at all.

‘Incredible!’ Shouts Carr ‘that was instantaneous.’

He strides towards me. ‘I've never seen anything like it. Distance wielding is so rare and no record describes anything like that.’

‘What do you mean?’ I ask.

‘It's normally described as being able to stride great lengths, or moving distance under your dragon as they fly. There is no record of another signet that enables instantaneous travel.’

The intense look on his face makes me want to take a step back from him.

‘Incredible.’ He says again.

‘Im feeling quite tired now.’ I say, hoping to get to leave.

‘Of course, go and rest. But I don't want you wielding on your own until you have some control. No showing off to your squad. It would be a tragedy if you wielded yourself halfway inside a wall.’

I shudder at the thought.

‘You wouldn't be so foolish.’ Andarna reassures me as I climb on her back.

‘You did very well today, as I knew you would.’ Andarna tells me as we make the short journey to the flight field.

‘Thank you.’ I say gratefully.

Carr's words about my signet replay in my mind and I laugh. I still can't quite get my mind around the reality that I have manifested a signet so rare as to possibly be unique.

‘I can believe it.’ Says Andarna in answer to my thoughts. ‘I knew you were special when I chose you.’

....................................

‘There they are!’ yells Ridoc and waves over the heads of the crowd.

Sawyer and I are coming down the stairs from the upper floor of the turret where Carr’s wielding lessons are now being held after lunch. The flow of students from both directions forms a bottle neck at the door to the room where battle brief is held every afternoon. We meet up with the other first years from our squad and join the pack.

‘Aww I wish I was one of the cool people.’ Says Rhiannon.

‘You will be soon.’ I say bumping my shoulder against her upper arm. ‘And wielding class really isn’t that cool, we just practiced moving pieces of parchment around on the desk today. That’s kind of lame isn’t it? I push parchment around every day with the library trolley.’

‘Okay, it is.’ laughs Rhiannon.

‘Aww I can’t wait to get my signet and push parchment around.’ sighs Ridoc.

We file into our row and find our seats. I take mine between Rhiannon and Liam and get my book and pen out. Honestly my favorite part of lesser magic is getting to use a pen. It’s seriously convenient not to bother with quills and ink pots anymore. But I don’t say this to Rhiannon.

I’m kind of keen for today's session and I can feel Andarna’s attention brush against me and I know she is too. When I was on library duty this morning a scroll for Profession Markham had fallen of the cart and, without intending to, I had seen some of the lines. Summerton, a town on the southern border had been raided yesterday, and supplies ransacked. It's another odd attack, at a higher altitude that normal for Gryphons.

I’m writing the date at the top of the page in my book when I notice Liam turning in his seat. He nodded at someone at the back of the room and I will myself to ignore it, knowing if I turn around I’ll see Xaden. Maybe I’ve admitted to myself that I am attracted to him, but I'm not going to start indulging the urge to look at him. I'm not.

‘What is the harm in looking, if you enjoy seeing him?’ Asks Andarna.

‘I need to get over this, over him. Not to continue to think about him all the time and his stupid, beautiful, face.’

It doesn't help that I am stupidly disappointed that he hasn't spoken to me, or looked at me since he left me in Carr's office.

When Devara makes an announcement about squad battle it is a welcome distraction. Although I am less enthusiastic than others about the dubious honor of getting to visit the front lines, I write Summerton at the top of my page while I wait for the lesson to start.

When Markham says that the front has been quiet and we will instead spend today reviewing a battle that happened 600 years ago I freeze with my pen over the page.

‘Andarna?’ I ask incredulously.

‘I am hearing him.’ she tells me. ‘I am as surprised as you are.’

‘It must be that we don’t have clearance to learn about the attack.’ I say.

Andarna doesn't verbalize a response but I can feel her dissatisfaction with this answer matches my own.

‘Violet, are you alright?’ Liam asks me in a whisper.

I jump slightly and my pen falls to the floor.

‘I’m fine.’ I whisper back.
Liam’s eyes are on my page now and he gives me a questioning look as I duck to reach for my pen.

When it’s back in my hand I cross out the word on my page and start mechanically taking notes. I have studied this battle before with my father and I know it well, leaving a lot of mental capacity to stew over the scroll. Had it been classified?

When Battle Brief is over Liam trys to catch me to talk, I know what he's going to ask about.

‘I have my session with Carr.’ I say apologetically, hoping he'll drop it.

‘I'll walk you to the flight field.’ Liam says.

When we are in the courtyard and no one is close enough to hear he asks what happened in Battle Brief.

‘I saw something I shouldn't have this morning.’ I tell him embarrassed. ‘I didn't mean to but a scroll for Markham fell off the trolley on the way back from the archives and I read some.’

‘About an attack on Summerton?’

‘Yes.’ I wince. ‘I was expecting us to discuss it today so I was taken by supprise.’

Liam looks at me thoughtfully. ‘Was it marked as classified? It must have been.’

‘It wasn't.’ Says Andarna, and she shows me the mental image of the scroll from my own point of view and I can see there is no classification marking.

As we entered the tunnel to the flight field I think for of a change of topic.

‘So how do you know Riorson?’ I ask.

‘We were fostered together, after the apostasy.’ Liam says.

‘Fostered?’

Ive never read anything about the children of the rebellion leaders being fostered.

‘Yeah, I guess Navarre had to do something with us after our parents were executed.’

I look at Liam in shock as we step back out into the sunlight. He said parents. Im reviewing what I know about the noble families of Navarre.

‘Your father, Isaac Mairi, wasn't part of the rebellion.’ I say.

‘No. But he was executed the same day as my mother, at our family home.’ Liam says.

He says it without emotion, just watching my face.

‘Liam, I…’ I don't know what to say to him. ‘I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you about this.’

‘Its okay that you asked. You should know.’ He tells me.

We start to climb the stairs to the flight field and for a few minutes don't speak. Eventually I can't take it anymore and ask my burning question.

‘Liam how can you stand it? Being in my squad? Being my friend?’ ask looking at his face.

He gives me a small smile. ‘You aren't your mother, Violet.’

....................................................

The next day in history we get the marks for our last essays back. I did well, I always do in this subject. I turn around to try and catch the eye of Rhiannon. She smiles and gives me a thumbs up. I notice beside her Liam has a pained expression though, and he shoves his returned essay into his satchel.

I wait on my way out of the room so I can walk beside Liam,

‘You know,’ I begin, ‘I've been tutoring Rhiannon and the others in history since Parapet. As I was preparing to be a scribe,  this is something I've been training to do all my life,’ I gesture with my essay, ‘I would be happy to help you as well if you want me to.’ 

Liam sighs with dejection. ‘I don't know Violet. Brilliant as I’m sure you are, I don’t think you can help me.’

‘Why do you say that?’

Liam runs a frustrated hand through his hair. ‘For the past five years I've had Navarr's history drilled into my head by the best tutors Duke Lindell could bring to Tirvainne, a lack of tutoring isn’t my problem.’

I furrow my brow and put a hand on his arm. Liam and I stop in the corridor and the rest of our class continues on to lunch without us.

‘Liam?’ I ask gently.

He opens his satchel and pulls out his crumpled essay and presses the parchment into my hands wordlessly.

I skim over the first page and I notice our history professor, Major Alder, has left copious notes and annotations over the essay. When I start to read them my eyebrows go up. No comments or corrections have been made to the analysis Liam puts forward and defends - defends well might I add, he’d make a more than decent scribe. All the marking nitpicks his spelling, which while clearly something he struggles with, doesn’t prevent his essay being logical and well-structured.

But I wince and Alder’s concluding remarks that Laim’s work can not be taken seriously until he learns to communicate like an adult.

‘See?’ Says Liam, ‘I’m a lost cause.’

'Fuck Alder.' I say angrily.

Liam blinks at me, taken aback.

'This is a great essay Liam, your ideas are brilliant and you defend them well. You shouldn't be punished because you have more difficulty writing them down than others do. And you are wrong, I can help you with this.'

'How?'

'I can proofread it for you Liam.' I say gently.

He starts to shake his head. 'I couldn't ask you to do that.'

'I don't mind.' I told him. 'Scribes proofread for each other all the time, it's much easier to catch these things in someone else's work than your own after all. It will still be all your own work, all your ideas and arguments, I'll just help people like Alder see them more clearly.'

I offer him back the essay and Liam looks at it thoughtfully before taking it.

'Thank you Violet, if it’s not too much trouble for you...'

‘It’s really not.’ I smile and when Liam has put his essay back in his satchel I loop my arm in his and we walk to lunch.

....................................................

'I didn't realize that reading and writing was easier for other people when I was growing up.' Liam tells me, his focus on the piece of wood before him.

We are sitting in commons after dinner, I have his analysis for Battle Brief before me and I've finished proofreading it. Now I am watching his clever hands reveal the lines of Andarna's body by peeling away one curl of wood at a time.

‘I loved reading when I was a kid, even though it was hard. I loved stories of adventure, far away places and brave heroes. I used to read with my Dad and little sister Sloane every night, the three of us sitting together in the drawing room, each taking turns to read aloud. I remember, especially in the evenings while Mum was away, Dad would read with us for hours. He was so patient, encouraging us and helping us sound out words when we got stuck.' Liam smiles a bittersweet smile.

I think of my own father, what a patient dedicated teacher he had been and feel a prickling in my eyes which I blink away.

Liam's smile falls. ‘But I realized in Tirvainne that something was wrong with me, that it’s harder for me than it should be. My first tutor there, a real old battleaxe called Ms Nichols, declared I was an idiot when she heard me try to sound out a word I didn't know.’

‘You are not an idiot Liam.’ I say firmly. ‘And there is nothing wrong with you either. You are smarter than most, anyone who hears you speak knows that.’

Liam gives me an amused smile. ‘You sound like Riorson.’

‘Do I?’ I ask, surprised. 

‘Yeah,’ Liam nods. ‘He would say the same thing, with more colorful language.’ Liam laughs, ‘He would get so mad at her, Ms Nichols, and yell at her whenever she got started at me. He would usually be sent to bed without dinner as a result. But it didn't stop him, eventually Ms NIchols had enough of us and handed in her resignation. The next tutor wasn’t so bad.’ 

I can tell from his expression and tone of voice that Liam is still far from remembering ‘the next’ tutor fondly.

It is an oddly endearing thought, picturing Xaden standing up to their tutor and defending his younger foster brother, and it makes me smile.

....................................................

November passes without us hearing anything about the attack on Summerton, and I can’t help but wonder what else they aren’t telling us in Battle Brief.

....................................................

‘You are spending a lot of time with Liam.’ says Rhiannon one afternoon when we are in her room doing history revision. ‘What is going on with you too?’

I sigh dramatically and lean against the wall where I am sitting on her bed. ‘Absolutely nothing, we are just friends.’

‘I sense a touch of resentment in your voice. Is that a sore point for you?’

‘Not for the reason you think.’ I tell her. My life would be so much easier if I could just be attracted to Liam.

‘What does that mean?’ Rhiannon askes.

‘It’s not him, it’s me that I’m frustrated at.’ I say.

‘Oh Violet, are you still hung up on what happened with Dain?’ Rhiannon asked gently.

‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ I tell her truthfully.

Dain hasn’t spoken to me since Amber Mavis was executed. Something he has in common with the man I really am hung up on, but I am keeping that to myself.

‘It’s for the best anyway, with Liam, I have never been great at separating sex and feelings and I don’t think Liam is emotionally available.’ I tell her.

We both have seen the parade of cadets that come out of Liam Mairi’s bedroom. All very happy customers I am sure, but he is definitely not looking for a relationship.

‘How are lessons with Carr?’ Rhiannon asks. It’s an obvious change of subject, but I appreciate it.

‘Ugg, who would have thought distance wielding could be made to be so boring?’ I ask. ‘We are still just testing how far I can go carrying so much weight. At least it’s only once a week now he’s confident I have some control.’

Rhiannon laughs. ‘have you stopped leaving your daggers behind?’

‘Yes.’ I say smiling.

When Carr first started testing my ability to distance wield with objects I realized that if I focused too much on trying to made an object come with me it was… detrimental. I had become terrified of wielding and leaving items of clothing behind and refused to practice with Carr for a week. I had confessed this fear to Rhiannon and she had suggested I distract myself from the fear of leaving my underwear behind by focusing really hard on my daggers until I overcame it.

‘Wielding out of your clothes on purpose sounds like an incredible party trick though.’ Rhiannon said and we both laugh.

Chapter Text

Xaden leant against the stone wall and slowly breathed out the churma smoke. It didn't completely stop the barrage of feelings from Sgeayl when she didn’t shield, but it did help and Xaden needed the help tonight.

When he closed his eyes he kept seeing the feisty look on Sorrengail’s face when she stood up to the idiot Jack Barlow in the sparring gym. He had wanted to go and stand in front of her when Barlow started shit, but it would have looked weird and possessive. He’d had to settle for watching it go down from his mat. If Barlow actually attacked her, maybe being her Wingleader would be sufficient cover for ending him, if Sorrengail needed the help of course. She had had her squad with her. Besides, her signet meant Barlow wouldn’t be able to use his height and weight advantage against her and they all knew he was too much of a coward to take her on in a setting where she could use it. Sorrengail had called him out on that, too.

Damm, that feisty look always made Xaden want to kiss her. Even when he wasn’t getting dragon-lust overflow.

Xaden took another deep draw and sighed. He was trying to stay away from Sorrengail. He had put a lot of effort into it actually since her signet manifested, since it had become apparent to him that she wasn’t going to need him to keep her alive. Xaden should have felt pleased that his promise to her mother was so easily fulfilled; he’d told the marked ones to leave her alone, removed Mavis as a threat and now he could feel confident that she would be able to handle anything else on her own.

Like she was summoned by his thoughts, or like the Gods had sent her as his own personal punishment, Xaden saw Violet step out of the arched doorway at the foundations of the citadel and walk towards the eaves of the forest.

She was followed by Liam which made Xaden feel all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. Damm, were they on a romantic midnight walk? He hadn’t realized things were like that between them and had to congratulate himself on ignoring Violet more than he’d thought he’d managed. He had to wonder if Liam had intentionally kept this from him, fucking her wasn't exactly within the scope of the request Xaden had made; that Liam would warn him in the event that Violet was close to uncovering the truth.

Liam and Violet spoke softly to one another but he heard their words where he stood.

‘It does snow a lot.’ He heard Liam say. ‘It’s the high altitude. Slone and I would have epic snowball fights as kids and stay out in the cold until our faces were red and dad would have to drag us inside.’

They smiled at each other and Xaden’s heart constricted in his chest. Liam was like a brother to him, they had been all the other had had through the darkest part of their lives, and anything that brought Liam joy should be something Xaden wanted him to have. But did it have to be her?

‘Where is home for you?’ Asked Liam.

‘I’ve lived at Basgaith as long as I’ve lived anywhere.’ Violet said. ‘But home is more than a place, isn't it? It’s the people too.’

‘Yeah.’ Liam agreed.

Xaden watched, as while Liam’s back was turned Violet collected a handful of snow and threw it at him. She hit Liam in the center of his back.

‘Gah, Violet!’

Violet laughed and ran as Liam quickly made snowballs to retaliate. He threw the first and missed as Violet swerved and ran from the trees towards the wall. In Xaden’s direction.

When Violet saw him she stopped short and Liam’s second snowball went flying over her shoulder to be met by a tendril of shadow Xaden summoned with a twist of his hand.

‘Sorry about the snowball.’ laughed Liam. ‘I didn’t see you there.’

Xaden shrugged it off.

Violet had the decency to look like a first year cadet who had been caught out after curfew, that was until her eyes narrowed on the cigarette in Xaden’s hand.

‘Is that churma?’ She demanded. ‘We are not allowed to smoke that.’

There she goes again, Xaden though, being all indignant and kissable.

‘What are you going to do, tell your Wingleader?’ Xaden asked dryly.

Violet huffed.

‘Hey, we are going for a walk down to the river, if you want to join us?’ Liam offered.

Xaden couldn't help but frown. ‘Really? I wouldn’t want to interrupt, whatever … this is.’

Liam got the implication and laughed while Violet blushed.

‘Na nothing to interrupt.’ Liam said. ‘We aren't a couple. Andarna wants to play in the snow, apparently, and I am walking Violet to meet her.’

Xaden knew he should still say no. But the stupid joy he felt knowing that Liam and Violet weren’t together made him want to say yes. He wanted to be near her, to be able to look at her and hear her voice.

‘Andarna says you are welcome to come.’ Violet added with a neutral tone, as though it was no difference to her either way.

Xaden was tempted to read her then, to know what she was thinking. He had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t do that anymore where she was concerned, after he had seen Dain force her to give him her memory, after Violet had falsely credited Xaden with being better than Dain for not needing proof to believe her. Little did she know.

‘Alright then. If Andarna wants me to come, how can I say no?’ Said Xaden deadpan and stood up from his slouch on the wall.

Liam was genuinely pleased, and Violet shrugged and led the way.

They walked through the trees towards the river mostly silent.

‘Dragons usually don’t like the snow.’ Observed Xaden.

‘I guess Andarna is special.’ Said Violet, tossing her braid over her shoulder.

Xaden tryed not to stare at her braid against her cloak. He tried not to remember what her hair had looked like that night, hanging loose around her face, and he utterly refused to let himself imagine what it would feel like to run his fingers through the gleaming strands.

When the trees thinned Xaded saw the small shape of the Black Dragon waiting for them, stark in the snow. Well, Xaden thought, small was relative here.

Andarna bounded towards her rider with all the enthusiasm of a puppy, and Violet hugged the large black head that was presented to her.

‘Are you alright? You seem tense.’ Liam asked Xaden softly when they stopped together under the last of the trees.

‘Yes.’ Sighed Xaden. ‘It’s just… dragon troubles.’

The riders of mated dragons didn’t tend to share the details of what having a mated dragon meant with riders who were fortunate enough not to know. Xaden though it was probably because it was embarrassing as fuck.

Xaden and Liam stood and watched the young woman play with the dragon in the snow. He didn’t know about Liam but Xaden couldn't tear his eyes away. Violet Sorrengail was beautiful in all aspects of her personality, when she was angry, when she was happy, when she was concentrating on a problem. But Xaden had never seen her express such unguarded joy before.

They walked side by side in the falling snow, and Violet tried to help Andarna pile up snow to make a snow dragon. Andarna stood up to nock snow from an evergreen tree branch, dusting them both. The snowflakes settled in Violet's hair and on her cloak but they slowly melted when they landed on Andarna leaving her scales an unblemished black.

Violet laughed at something Andarna said and for some reason threw a snowball at her. Andanda opened her mouth and caught it.

Then Violet turned to them. ‘Hey Wingleader, catch.’

Violet threw the snowball at Xaden’s face. As he thought she had probably expected, he caught it with a shadow. He then flicked it back at her hoping to catch her by surprise.

Violet stood still, but just before the snowball would have made impact she vanished and the snowball went flying on.

Sudden cold hit the back of Xadens neck. ‘Fuck!’ he yelled.

Liam gasped. As Xaden brushed snow out of his hair and out of his jacket collar he looked and saw shock and worry on Liam’s face.

Violet had reappeared exactly where she had been, wearing a defiant look with her chin up and her eyes bright with satisfaction and challenge. Any anger Xaden felt melted away at that look. She was half his size, barely used to wielding and bonded to the smallest dragon he knew of and here she was throwing fucking snowballs at him.

‘That was well done.’ He told her with a smirk. 

He had the satisfaction of seeing Violet supprised.

‘Did Carr teach you that?’ Xaden asked.

‘What to throw snowballs? I think it was Mira.’ Violet said jokingly.

‘To use your signet like that, to use it to take your opponent by supprise.’ Xaden pressed.

Violet shook her head. ‘Nope, he's very focused on how far and how much I can carry when I wield.’

Xaden frowns at this. Sure it's interesting to know what her limits are in terms of distance but he thinks it would be more beneficial to train her to wield in close combat. Carr is far from Xaden’s favorite professor, and he thinks it's likely he has no idea how to help Violence reach her full potential.

At length Violet grows cold and Andarna sends her inside to rest, returning to the Vale herself. When the three riders walk back to the citadel Xaden places himself by Violet’s side.

‘Do you practice using your signet while sparring with your squad?’ Xaden asked Violet.

‘No.’ She said,

‘Why no?’

‘We arn’t allowed to use powers in challenges.’ Violet shrugs.

‘No,’ Xaden agreed, ‘But what about after graduation? You should be training to make the most of every advantage you have now. And your signet is a defiant advantage.’

Violet doesn't say anything in response to this. When he glances at her face Xaden notices she has the line between her brows and the set to her lips that means she’s thinking something through.

‘What is Carr teaching you?’ he asks.

‘I told you.’ She says. ‘He wants me to travel further, and carry more when I do.’

‘What, Are you training to be a courier?’ Xaded asked incredulously.

‘No.’ Violet snapped and she stopped walking to face him.

‘Good.’ Xaden snapped back. ‘Because it would be a fucking waste of your talents, not to mention your violent tendencies.’

‘Thank you?’ She said, like it was a question.

They stood still, glaring at each other for a minute before Xaden couldn’t stop himself.

‘I’ll train you.’ He said and started walking again.

Liam had walked a few steps ahead of them and turned to watch them when they started snapping at each other. Xaden realized he had been so focused on Violence that he’d forgotten for a moment that they weren't alone.

He heard Violet scoff behind him. ‘I thought you didn’t have time to train all the random first years.’

‘Violet, you should definitely say yes. Xaden taught me everything I know.’ Liam said. His words were for Violet but when he spoke he looked at Xaden.

The twitch of a smile on Liam's mouth and the look in his eyes told Xaden that Liam saw what Violence did to him. Wonderful, now he could join in with Bodhi and Garrick giving him shit about his ‘feelings’ for Violence.

‘I don’t have time.’ Xaden sighed, turning back to Violet. ‘That’s why I’m only offering to train you.’

‘Why?’ She demanded.

‘Two reasons,’ Said Xaden, ‘Firstly I can’t delegate this to someone else I trust to do as good a job as I will. ’

Not technically a lie. He could in fact trust Garrick would do as good a job. But Garrick’s load was already pretty full and Xaden would have to take some of Garricks charges in return. Xaden also knew he'd never hear the end of it from Garrick.

‘Second,’ Xaden started.

‘Let me guess, my dragon will be so sad if your dragon loses her rider.’ Violet interrupted doing a sappy impersonation of him.

‘No,’ Said Xaden slowly. ‘I was going to say: secondly, because you hit me with a snowball. Which was fucking impressive, not only that you managed it but because you dared to try.’

Violet stood a little taller and met his gaze with a look that fucking scorched him. If Liam hadn’t been there he probably would have kissed her. But Liam was there. And Sgeayl was no longer flooding the bond with desire - he wasn’t sure exactly when that had stopped- meaning he was in control again.

‘So I’ll train you.’ He said.

Violet nodded her agreement and Xaden made himself look away from her.

He walked past Liam, who waited for Violet, and gave him a warning look not to say anything dumb. Xaden didn’t wait for the two of them to catch up with him and walked on ahead and through the door at the base of the citadel.

.......................................................................................

Having said goodnight to Liam I fall into bed physically exhausted, but my mind still a swirl of thoughts and feelings.

It’s been an intense night.

Despite Andarna’s suggestion of spending some time together having worked its intended purpose of cheering me up, I’m still upset about Dain and worried about Barlow. The confrontation in the sparring gym and his promise to kill me once challenges resume worried me, despite the bravado I put on. The aftermath was just as ugly when Dain decided to finally break his silence and gave me a dressing down for standing up to that pig-headed idiot.

But the reason I know I’ll find sleep hard is that when I close my eyes I still see Xaden; with that look on his face, telling me I impressed him.

Chapter Text

As I get dressed and braid my hair the next morning I can't help but worry Xaden will have thought better of his offer. At breakfast with my squad I decide not to say anything about it, figuring I'll save myself the embarrassment if he does change his mind. 

When Rhiannon and I stand to head for formation I see Dain approaching out of the corner of my eye. He has his Mr Serious Squad Leader Face on and I want no part of that. Grabbing Rhiannon’s arm I hurry her away from the table so I don't have to deal with him so early. 

I manage to make it to the end of formation without having to speak with Dain but I know I will need a miracle to escape without him cornering me once we are dismissed. But the Gods must be smiling on me today because before Dain can force me to speak with him Xaden strides across the courtyard and says he needs to speak with me too. 

I shrug an apology at Dain and turn to face Xaden.

Xaden doesn't lead me away from the courtyard but he does watch Dain leave over my shoulder before he says anything.   

‘Will tonight work for you? To train?’ He asks.

‘Yes.’ I say.

‘I'll meet you in the sparring gym after dinner. ‘

I nod. ‘And thanks for the save’.

‘I have no idea what you mean.’ He says innocently.

Rhiannon has questions when I walk to where she’s waiting for me. I’m unable to hide how pleased I am, and she lifts an eyebrow at my smile and the sudden spring in my step.

‘What was that?’ she asks. 

I smile at her. ‘Xaden is going to train me; to use my signet in combat.’

‘Oh. Wow Vi, that’s awesome.’ Says Rhiannon genuinely. 

‘I know.’

Xaden is the strongest fighter in the quadrant. Despite my initial reluctance, once I had thought about it, I realized what a great opportunity this was to learn anything I could from him. Liam had been absolutely right that this was an opportunity I should jump at.

Rhiannon and I walk in step together towards our class. 

‘But how did this happen? I need to know.' She tells me.

‘Well,’ I start and lean close to whisper conspiratorially to her. ‘It’s because I threw a snowball at him.’

....................................................

I don’t manage to avoid Dain the entire day, and he finally manages to corner me on my way into Carr’s class. I had been distracted for a moment, when I saw Xaden standing in the corridor talking to another Wingleader and I had to take a second to appreciate how utterly devastating he looked.

‘ So are you letting yourself look at him again? ’ Asked Andarna.

‘I have to get used to it.’ I reasoned. ‘ I’ll have to look at him to train with him I imagine. Best to try and desensitize myself. ’

‘ And how is that going? ’ Laughed Andarna.

Dain takes advantage of my distracted focus just then asks to speak to me. He’s standing between me and Carr’s room so unless I push past him I have no choice. I sigh and nod agreement, letting him usher me to a spot beside the wall, out of the way of the flow of students.

If I was expecting an apology from him for ignoring me for weeks I’d have been disappointed. When I point out that that’s what he’s been doing Dain manages to turn things around and make his disbelief of Amber’s guilt my fault.

‘What was I supposed to think Violet, You didn’t come and find me after you were attacked, you just accepted Riorson’s help.’

‘He was there, Dain. And he is our Wingleader.’ I point out. ‘ What did you expect me to do, Say no thank you? Do I need to remind you that my life was in danger? You are being ridiculous.’ I push past him and start to walk towards the classroom door. 

‘Violet, please wait.’ Says Dain and he grabs my sleeve.

I reluctantly stop and face him again.

‘Violet I was just so scared I’d lose you. I almost did lose you. I’m sorry if I have been an ass, you are my best friend and I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you.’

Despite my better judgment I feel myself softening towards Dain. We have been friends for so long and I know he only wants what is best for me.

‘I know Dain, but you can’t keep me in a glass box to stop me getting hurt. And by trying you are stopping me from growing, stopping me from becoming who I need to be to survive.’

He smiles at me sadly and lifts a hand to cup my cheek.

‘No, He is going to touch you. '

Andarna’s warning sounds in my mind the same moment that I realize Dain’s intention. A spike of shock goes through me and I’m suddenly standing six feet further from him. I didn’t even intend to wield, it just happened.

Dain stands with his hand still lifted and looks at me like I just ripped his heart out of his chest. Around us the last of the stragglers glance at us as they make their way to classes.

‘Violet, I wasn’t going to, to, to do that. I would never .’ He says, voice full of hurt. 

‘I know that.’ I say, voice shaking. Or at least I think I know that. ‘I know you wouldn’t do it intentionally Dain, but I have my own signet now and I know it’s not always that simple. It’s not simple to get it to do what you want and only what you consciously choose. We all slip up sometimes.’ I gesture at the space between us.

And if he did, I’d have no way of knowing he'd read my memories.

He still looks incredibly sad as he lowers his hand, and I can see he still wants to protest the innocence of his intentions.

‘If you want me to trust you again, you have to stop touching my face.’ I tell him. I turn my back on him and go into class.

......................................................................

‘There are a lot of ways to use your signet that build on your natural strengths.’ Xaden tells me.

After dinner I find myself facing Xaden across the mat for the second time. I feel significantly more confidence than I did months ago, I’ve been putting in the time with Rhiannon and I know I’ve improved. It also helps that this time I am sure he isn’t going to try and kill me.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not nervous. 

‘You are fast, you are good at getting under a larger opponents’ guard. And of course you have good aim.’ He says this last bit drily.

I can’t help but smile.

There is a twitch at the corner of Xaden’s mouth as he continues. ‘But you can’t just wield to a safe distance and throw a dagger at every opponent. That’s fine if it’s just one, but on a battlefield you will soon run out of daggers. So, you should learn to use it to get in close and strike fast. That’s what I want to work on with you. I want you to wield away from me so I can’t pin you, and to try and get a kill hit on me.’

I nod my understanding. ‘Allright. Should I disarm?’

I gesture to where Xaden’s numerous weapons are laid in neat rows beside the mat.

‘I don’t particularly want to have to dig a dagger out of my side tonight.’ Xaden grimaces. ‘So yes. Just hit me with your fists, we can pretend you have a dagger for the purpose of the exercise.’

After I disarm I roll my shoulders to try and loosen my tension and face him again.

Xaden steps forward swiftly, immediately on the attack. I dodge what he throws at me and slip under his defenses to throw a punch at his ribs, but I don’t wield to do it. He faces me again and just raises an eyebrow. I'm trying to resist the urge to shake out my hand and wrist. Damn him, his side is hard and he reacted like he didn’t even feel my blow.

Xaden goes on the attack again. Kick, punch: I dodge and look for an opening. He catches me this time by the arm and twists me around to pin me to his chest.

We are both frozen for a moment before I choose to wield out of his grip and across the mat.

‘You should wield before I have you pinned.’ He says. 

I bristle a little. ‘I know.’

But Xaden remains cool and detached. ‘let's try again.’

As we circle each other I try keep the corner of the mat in mind, that point of safely behind me, so that I can wield to it in a moment and it is easier to reach for it next time I need to.

Xaden attacks, I doge and spin out of his reach. I attack and he blocks me. When I feel his grip around one of my limbs, or my waist, I take myself to the corner of the mat and out of his reach.

It's getting easier to do when I need to, but I can't figure out when to wield to attack. It feels like he is moving too fast and I can’t think quickly enough to keep up. When I see an opening the moment passes before I can make use of it. 

I’m getting frustrated and Xaden must be able to see it. He uses it to his advantage and has me on my back before I can stop it. I hit the mat. Xaden follows through and in a moment he has me pinned, holding himself up off me ever so slightly on his arms, only pressing a fraction of his weight against me. 

He hasn't knocked the air from my lungs but suddenly I can't breathe. 

I look up into his onyx eyes, so close I can see the golden flecks. A moment passes and Xaden lifts an eyebrow at me questioningly. 

I wield to the mat beside him and roll and rise onto my knees trying to catch my breath.

I’m grateful when he doesn't point out how slowly I did that.

‘Let's take a break.’ Says Xaden.

When I have my breath back I stomp to the bench and grab my canteen to take a drink. 

‘You are always wielding to the same corner.’ Xaden observes.

‘Yes’ I sigh. ‘I have to keep it in mind, so I can go there quickly.’

‘Talk me through that’. Xaden prompts.

‘Well, I have to know where I am going.’ I tell him. ‘I have to have been there before and I have to think about it and choose to go there.’

Xaden frowns. ‘None of those things are true.’

‘Oh really?’ I ask annoyed. ‘Because you know so much about how my signet works?’

‘Yes. The night your signet manifested you wielded to Andarna in the Vale, somewhere you had never been. This afternoon you wielded in a split second without thinking about it.’ He points out.

I blink at him in supprise.

‘He has a point.’ Says Andarna

‘That's different, I can wield to Andarna wherever she is because of the bond.’ I tell him.

‘And this afternoon?’

I think for a moment. ‘That was instinctive. Usually I have to think.’

Xaden nods and crosses his arms, thinking. ‘We will work on speed. But for now, try not to think about wielding so much. Channel, stay grounded and try to just be in the fight.’

I try to do as he says. When I'm no longer using half my attention to try and decide when to wield. I do a little better As a result and get a few punches in. Then Xaden feints to the left and I fall for it, and he sweeps my legs out from underneath me.

As I feel myself start to fall I wield away to my corner. I see Xaden has committed his weight into taking me to the mat and when I'm gone he falls and then his momentum carries him to roll onto his back. I step forward and wield to pin him with my weight on his chest before he can rise.

He looks up at me where I am straddling his chest with an empty fist where a dagger would be held against his neck. His eyes are wide with surprise a moment before he gives me a smirk.

‘I got you.’ I say.

‘You got me.’ He agrees.

Chapter Text

‘All right, I give up. Tell me what we are doing.’ 

The next night that we meet to train Xaden has taken me next door to the weapons range rather than the sparring gym. I’m looking at the far end of the room that he has claimed of our use, it’s filled by a semi-circle of training targets. 

‘Speed training.’ Says Xaden looking pleased. He gestures to the floor and shadows move to form a series of ‘X’s in front of the targets. ‘I want you to wield from one point to the next, and throw a dagger at the target. I will time you and I want you to try and get faster without losing accuracy.’

‘Okay,’ I say doubtfully. ‘I distinctly remember you saying I couldn't rely on throwing daggers.’

‘Yes I did.’

‘Then why? This?’ I ask, gesturing.

‘I'll tell you after the exercise.’ He says.

Unhappy with this, I glare at him.

‘Don’t you trust me Violence?’ He asks silky, lowering his voice.

‘About as far as I can throw you.’ I say, trying not to be affected by what that tone of voice does to me.

It's not entirely true that I don’t trust him, and the look on his face tells me he knows that too. 

I sigh and unsheath a dagger before I start walking towards the first ‘x’.

‘Uh uh uh,' Xaden tuts, 'Wielding, remember?’

He beacons me back with his forefinger and I feel a mix of anger and arousal colour my cheeks as I stomp back to him. 

‘Ready?’ He holds up a stopwatch. 

I nod.

When Xaden tells me to start I wield to the first point and throw my dagger. I'm angry and frustrated but as I breathe and focus on the series of targets I feel myself calming. I throw swiftly and accurately but it takes me time to wield between each point.

When I'm done Xaden counts the score for the places I hit the targets and I pull out my daggers. 

I repeat the exercises a few times, each time moving with more confidence and more speed. I start to find a rhythm to it, wielding while I unsheath and twisting fluidly to throw when I reach the point. It's surprisingly enjoyable and I feel a real sense of achievement the fifth time I complete the loop when the last dagger sinks perfectly into the center of the board.

When I wield back to Xaden’s side I’m smiling and if I’m not mistaken he’s genuinely pleased by how I did. 

‘You’ve done well, I’ll have to make it harder for you next time.’ He tells me.

‘Will you tell me why you have me throwing daggers now?’ I ask.

‘I wanted to combine your wielding with something you are already good at and enjoy.’ He tells me. ‘Hoping the confidence you have in throwing knives would rub off and help you stop over thinking.’

‘You mean you were trying to distract me.’ I say accusingly.

‘It’s called providing positive reinforcement, Violence.’ Xaden says. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of it?’

Training with the targets becomes a regular feature of our sessions. Xaden adjusts them and starts moving the marks on the floor between my attempts so that I don’t fall into a pattern. Soon enough though I’m flying through every course hardly needing to think before I wield to the next spot.

We still spar, and I’m starting to be able to move with my power instinctively on the mat; when Xaden presses forward with a kick and punch I place myself behind him and ‘slice’ his side before wielding out of his reach. I then misdirect him to his right then wield left and kick his legs out. It always takes me some time to warm up and Xaden will almost pin me and I'll fumble my attempted hits before I find myself relaxing back into it. But I'm making progress. 

When I do manage to strike him or knock him to the mat, Xaden always gives me a smile that makes my chest constrict and I hear the words ‘positive reinforcement’ echoing in my head.

.............................................................................

It is cold in the sky, despite my winter flight leathers, as the end of December approaches. I know it's likely flying lessons will end in a few weeks until spring. So despite the chill I am glad to be flying with Andarna.

We are located towards the end of the riot, following the other dragons through the maneuvers. I don't always enjoy the exertion of flying but I enjoy being with Andarna, feeling one with her as she moves through the sky.

Holding my seat is getting easier thanks to Imogen's training. I do sometimes still fall but it's less frequent, so I do acknowledge the effort is worth it no matter how unpleasant. 

I vastly prefer training with Xaden, however, and I'm looking forward to training with him tonight.

‘You are making great progress in your wielding with the Wingleader.’ Andarna observes as she notes the direction of my thoughts.

‘He is a good teacher.’ I admit.

‘He is. He displays good strategic thinking and high intelligence.’ Andarna points out. ‘If you had offspring with him they would inherit that from both of you.’

‘Who said anything about offspring!’ I yell.

Andarna’s mental voice is full of amusement when she responds. ‘You wish to mate with him.’

‘I want to fuck him, not have his babies.’ I shudder slightly at the thought. 

We follow the riot into a steep turn and we are both silent a moment as we focus.

‘I do understand that for humans these things are different. You may take a number of mates during your life rather than one and not have offspring with any of them. However, I also know your biological urges influence what you find desirable as much as mine do for me.’

Im supprised, and for a moment I feel like a bad friend. We are always talking about my sex life (of lack of) I've never asked her in return.

‘Why Andarna, do you have your eye on a strapping young dragon?’ I ask.

I look around the riot and think about what I know about the other dragons flying with us and wonder if it's a dragon I know.

Andarna snorts. ‘No, not any of them. I haven't yet met a dragon who I think would be a good choice of mate.’ 

I remember that she's one of only three Black Dragons I know of and wonder if that makes it difficult for her. ‘If your mate isn't from your den, which den will your children belong to? Is that a consideration for you?’ 

‘I am unlikely to have a chance to choose a mate from my own den. Anyway I am a little younger than is typical when choosing a mate.’ 

‘How old are you exactly?'

Andarna is silent for a moment. I'm not really sure what I expected but it isn't what she says.

‘I hatched four years ago.’

I am so shocked I forget to tighten my hold as we go into a maneuver.

‘Violet!’ Andarna calls as I tumble away from her. 

I react imediatly, throwing my arms out to stop spinning and reach with my signet for that one constant point I never have to look for.

Andarna’s shock is my own as I find myself on my stomach, lying on her back between her wings. She had started to dive after me but she levels now as I reseat myself. 

‘You are only four years old!’ I yell.

‘Violet, I don't think this is the right time for this conversation.’ Andarna tells me.

I admit that she might have a point, but I am still stunned.

‘All right but we are talking about this when we land.’ I say as Andarna rejoins the riot.

‘Alright.’ Andara agrees.

When the class has finished we land and I complete my checks for any debris in her scales.

‘Allright,’ I say, facing her head. ‘Explain to me now how you are only four years old but you have bonded a rider and are training for war.’

Andarna sighs and her breath ruffles my hair. 

‘Dragons age differently to humans.’ She tells me slowly. ‘I am both fully grown and emotionally mature; I am old enough to bond with a rider. My kind considers me old enough to train for war, although I may not have experienced all aspects of life.’

‘But you said you were too young to mate. Are you an adult?’

‘I am capable of producing offspring, if I were to take a mate. I said I was younger than dragons typically are when they do. In more than one way Violet, our ages are equivalent.’ 

I still want to debate this. Although I know her mind as well as I know my own. I know she is not a child. She is a young adult: mature, if not a little inexperienced.

But my mind still reels at the idea that she is so young. That she has lived just four short years.

‘You must remember, that before I chose to hatch I existed already as a being with consciousness. In this way hatching is not equivalent to birth.’ 

‘Okay. So how many years should I add to your age then? How long were you in your egg?’

Andarna lowers her head further and looks at me with her golden eyes. She is silent so long I begin to think she will not answer me. 

‘It was for long enough, Violet. It was for longer that you have been alive.’ 

I blink in shock, ‘I had no idea Dragons were in eggs for so long. Is that typical?’

‘It is different from dragon to dragon. We hatch when we choose. I think you can appreciate this isn't something usually shared with Humans.’ She says. 'Even those we bond.’

I understand the implication and I feel a burst of warmth towards her, I value her trust in me. I rest my face against hers and close my eyes.

.......................................................

That night after dinner I walk onto the mat with Xaden feeling a new level of confidence and comfort in my abilities. Keeping one foot grounded I open the door to my mental archives and let Andarna’s power fill me. It feels like slipping into a warm bath; her power glows warm and calm inside me, waiting patiently below my skin for me to call on it.

When Xaden spreads his arms to the side and cocks his eyebrow I wield right in front of him and press my fist against him, low on the side of his abdomen just above his waistband. 

I’m so close I feel the slight intake of his breath before he grabs me. I let him wrap his arms around me and throw myself backwards as a dead weight before wielding out of his arms.

Xaden doesn't fall, he knows now to always expect this kind of move from me and keeps his feet under himself, but while his ballace is compromised I go low and kick his knee out. He lands on his arms and I try to pin him with a knee in his back. He attempts to roll us but I just wield again so I'm on top with my arm thrown against his neck.

I'm close to his face and I see the slight widening of his eyes, the only tell of surprise that he can’t quite mask as I appear out of thin air above him. It quickly morphs into satisfaction.

‘You should have yielded. My first hit was a deathblow.’ I say pulling back slightly. 

‘Eventually yes, but I would have had time to try and pay you back before I bled out.’ Xaden argues.

I frown at him. I'm still sitting on his waist with my hand on his neck and he grins up at me and lifts his hands to place them behind his head as if to say ‘ready when you are’.

Smug bastard, I think as I wield back to stand at the edge of the mat.

I'm honestly not sure if he's trying to distract me, if he’s aware of my attraction and is seeking to use it to his advantage, or…

The alternative is impossible. Right?

I shake my head to try and clear it as Xaden stands and falls into a defensive position.

We spar until I am panting for breath and my limbs are starting to shake with the effort of channeling. Xaden has pushed himself as much as I have, never giving a single inch in our fight and always trying to best me. He’s fast and by now familiar with both my ability and style of fighting, but tonight it's not enough and he's barely held his own against me.

‘What was the breakthrough you’ve had?’ He asks me as we both collect our weapons. 

I note with satisfaction that he sounds short of breath.

After thinking for a moment I tell him; ‘I lost my seat today in flight lessons and I wielded to Andarna before she could catch me.’

‘While she was flying?’ Xaden asks impressed.

‘Yes. I didn’t even have to think. I just did it. And that was what made me realize; distance wielding is becoming as natural for me as walking or breathing. Thanks to you.’

‘You are welcome.’ He says softly.

I look at him and he gives me a small smile, and it’s… odd. There is no tension, no anger, no heat between us for what feels like the first time. 

I think about how differently my training with Carr has gone and I wonder how long it would have taken me to learn what I have without Xaden’s help. If I ever would have.
I’ve finished sheathing my daggers and now I’m just staring at him. Xaden notices hand gives me a puzzled look.

‘Why are you training me?’ I blurt out. 

‘I told you already.’ He frowns.

‘I impressed you? Is that the real reason?’ I ask.

Xaden shrugs and nods his head. ‘I saw potential that was being squandered by Carr’s ineptitude.’

‘But why should you care? Is this my favor?’

There is a flash of something in his eyes, the same look I see when I wield in front of him and he tries not to let me know I surprised him. 

‘Yes.’ says Xaden firmly. ‘This is your favor.’

We are silent for a moment. We are both ready to leave but neither of us have made a move to do so.

‘Challenges resume soon. Are you ready?’ Xaden asks me.

I nod. ‘I've been practicing with Rhiannon. I'm not going to be returning to my old methods if that's what you are worried about.’

‘I never objected to your methods. Just that you were relying too heavily on them.’ Xaden shifts his posture and looks away from me. ‘I will be away for a few days. I won't be able to train with you again until after Solstice, so don't forget everything you have learned.’

‘I won't.’ I snap.

And just like that, the moment or what ever we had is over. I guess he’s back to being an ass again.

He grins ‘Good, because I won't be going easy on you anymore.’

Chapter Text

Solstice is not a big event in the rider's quadrant. We have a few quiet days off from classes and  the halls seem to be empty of riders from senior years, taking advantage of their privileges to quickly visit home one last time before the Dragons ground us for winter. My friends and I are not the only first years left behind who meet on the longest night in the commons. We sit together and drink spiced mulled wine to keep away the chill. Our voices and laughter seem extra loud, swollen to fill the empty corners and chase away the dark.

Unlike my friends I do return to bed alone that night, but I am not lonely. My body is pleasantly warm from the wine and Andarna’s mental presence is wrapped comfortingly against my mind.

When Xaden returns he's busy and doesn't have time to meet with me more than one night a week to train, so it is a while until I learn what he meant by no longer taking it easy on me.

‘I haven’t been using my signet, Violence.’ He says. 

I blink. I guess he hasn’t. 

‘Do you think it will help?’ I ask. ‘Because I wiped the mat with you before solstice.’

‘Let’s find out.’ Xaden grins back. 

He lifts his hand and shadows sweep across the mat like dark mist. I shift my foot experimentally and find my movement isn’t hindered. Wisps of the shadow twist around my ankle but I can barely feel them.  Xaden shifts his posture and moves into a defensive stance. I oblige and go on the attack. 

I am not sure what benefit Xaden is getting for using his shadows in this way, as he doesn’t try to grab me with them, until I wield. He’s fast, he’s always fast, but when I wield behind him and he reacts immediately, twisting and throwing an arm to block my strike, I realize he’s sensing where I am using the shadows.

I meet his eyes and he reads my realization in my face and smiles.

‘They provide tactile feedback?’ I ask, stepping back. ‘Impressive.’

‘What is impressive is how quickly you realized.’ He says and I smile too.

I hadn’t really had time to fall into complacency with the advantage my signet gave me, and I’m glad as Xaden using his signet almost removes the benefit of distance wielding and makes it harder to surprise him. But not impossible.

..........................................................................

I'm busy too when classes resume, and of course I have to worry about Challenges aswell again, I actually manage to win the first two without using posion and I feel really pleased. Despite my busy schedual and spending all the time I can sparing with Rhiannon I want to make time to practice using my signet regularly, even if it means going to the weapons range alone. After going once by myself I realize I miss Xaden; his presence provided a buffer between me and any other cadets there. When I am alone everyone stares openly and watches me wielding in a way they didn't when he’s there with me. 

The second time I try a group of third years stare and mutter amoung themselves until I leave early. And It still worrys me the next day at breakfast. 

‘It is unfortunate the snow is so thick now.’ Andrana says ‘and you can not train outside, and that I can not come inside the gym with you. I would eat those who make you uncomfortable.’

I giggle at Andarna’s words and scoop more scrambled eggs into my mouth.

‘And how is Andarna today?’ Asks Ridoc leaning across the table.

I grin at him. ‘She’s well. She was just offering to eat some people who made me uncomfortable last night.’

‘Who made you uncomfortable Violet?’ Asks Liam.

Sawyer and Rhiannon are listening now too so I tell them about my experience in the weapons range.

‘Why wasn’t Mr tall, dark and deadly with you?’ Asks Ridoc. 

‘He’s busy.’ I shrug. ‘He has other things to do besides train me.’

‘Let us know next time you want to go, and we can come with you.’ Offers Rhiannon. 

‘Really?’

The others nod their agreement and I smile back at them.

‘It would be great to see you in action.’ Says Sawyer.

‘Yes! I want to see this deadly distance wielding and knife throwing combo.’ Ridoc agrees.

‘You could have come before.’ I say. 

‘Could we?’ asks Ridoc. ‘Would Xaden have welcomed us watching?’

‘Well, you are welcome now.’ I say.

And that afternoon all five of us walk to the range after Battle Brief. Rhiannon sets the course with Sawyer’s help and marks the floor with chalk providing me points to wield to. Meanwhile Ridoc directs Liam in how to stand and glare intimidatingly.

‘Why don’t you do it?’ Liam asks a little exasperated after Ridoc criticizes his use of eyebrows.

Ridoc sighs ‘I would, but I just have too friendly a face and I won’t be intimidating enough. Besides, you have six inches on me and are built like a bull.’

Liam looks offended by this.

‘Liam, I think you also have a very friendly face.’ I giggle.

‘Thank you Violet.’ Smiles Liam.

‘Just friendly?’ asks Ridoc while he waggles his eyebrows.

Liam punches him on the arm. ‘You know I’m not her type.’

‘But who is Violet’s type? It’s such a mystery.’ Laughs Ridoc.

‘I have a theory.’ Mutters Liam.

I glare at him and he just grins.

‘Allright!’ Calls Rhiannon, ‘We are ready Violet, give it a go.’

I unsheath my dagger from my boot and walk over to Rhiannon. She has a stopwatch in her hand. I ground and open the door of my archives to let Andarna’s power fill me.

‘Ready?’

‘Ready.’ I nod.

When Rhiannon starts the timer I look for my first target and wield. Rhiannon has set the course differently to how Xaden does, I have to turn around each time I wield and throw in the other direction. She has also changed the distances between target and chalk cross so sometimes I have to throw further, and that makes me take a moment longer to adjust my aim. But I enjoy it. When I wield back to her side Rhiannon jumps a little in surprise and stops the time.

‘That was incredible Vi!’ Rhiannon says hugging me.

Liam Ridoc and Sawyer are all faced away from me glaring at the cadets who have been shooting crossbows at the other end of the range.

‘Did we miss it?’ Asks Ridoc.

‘Yes.’ laughs Rhiannon.

‘It’s okay, you can watch next time, after I count my score.’ I say.

I repeat Rhiannon's course again and again, shaving down my time further before she moves the targets around and I start again.

‘Thank you all.’ I say as we walk back to the dormitory wing to get ready for dinner. ‘I really appreciate your help, everyone.’

‘You are welcome.’ Rhiannon says and she puts her arm around my shoulder. 

‘Group hug time!’ Yells Ridoc throwing his arms around us both. When they don’t immediately join in he gestures for Sawyer and Liam to join us too, and then we are all standing in the corridor, hugging and laughing at ourselves.

Later that night, once everyone has gone to bed, I sneak out to check the challenge board for the next day. I see that the name posted next to mine is Jack Barlow.

...........................................................................

Two days later I am able to leave the infirmary. I’m not too badly injured, all things considered. My plan to use Jack’s allergy against him worked, although I didn’t use it quickly enough to stop him putting a dagger through my arm and using his power, whatever it is, to almost knock me out. My squadmates came this morning to walk me from the healer’s quadrant to breakfast. Jack, who survived too, is staying another night until his swelling goes down and his face no longer resembles a tomato.

A sub zero wind whips around the castle today and the dragons have declared it is too cold to fly. I now have half my afternoon free and I’m thinking of all the ways I could fill it when someone approaches behind me at the lunch table, I feel them and I know who it is before I see Ridoc react across the table and turn to find Xaden with a look that would curdle milk.

‘Sorrengail, meet me in the sparring gym during your flight time.’

It’s not a request and I raise my eyebrows at him. ‘I’m injured. I have stitches down both sides of my right forearm.’

‘I’m aware.’ Xagen growls. ‘That’s why I’m putting this time aside for you.’

‘What an honor.’ I say sarcastically. ‘But I’m afraid I can’t make it, I have other plans. ’

‘What plans?’ he asks, clenching his jaw.

I don’t know who he thinks he is demanding to know everything I do. Maybe pissing off the most powerful rider in the quadrant is a dumb idea, but I’m pretty sure he’s just mad because he thinks my performance against Jack reflected badly on him because we have been training together, and I don’t feel like humoring him.

‘Plans that don’t involve popping my stitches.’ I say with false sweetness.

‘Will you still have those plans tomorrow night? Or do you no longer want my help?’ asks Xaden.

A little of my anger leaves, Just enough for me to see I’m being foolish. I do value training with Xaden and I shouldn’t push him so far he withdraws his favor, no matter how much of an ass he’s being.

‘No, I’m available then.’ I say swallowing my pride.

Xaden leaves and I turn back to my lunch, ignoring all the wide-eyed looks my squad are giving me.

.........................................................................

When I meet him in the sparring gym the night after Xaden is still angry. There are no smug smiles from him tonight and when I pull off a perfectly executed sweep and pin him on his back he glares up at me and shoves me off him.

‘What the fuck is your problem?’ I yell, wielding to stand from where I landed on my backside on the mat.

Xaden leaps to his feet. ‘I don’t have a problem.’ 

‘Yes you do.’ I insist, poking a finger in his chest.

His eyes narrow and he swipes at my finger. ‘We are not doing this here.’ He growls

I look around the room at the other cadets who have all turned at the sound of my raised voice. Xaden grabs my daggers and holds them out to me before re-arming himself. I’m still putting daggers away when he turns as storms out of the room. I follow and I grit my teeth and the idea I look like his obedient tag along. 

‘Where are we going?’ I ask his back. 

‘Where we can speak without an audience. I don’t feel like making more of a scene.’

He leads me a short way further into the academic wing before choosing a classroom door at random and pulling it open. Xaden stands stiffly and waits for me to go ahead of him. Condescending ass.

I spin to face him when the door clicks shut and I throw my arms wide. ‘All right, go ahead. Let me have it. Why are you pissed at me?’

Xaden doesn’t hesitate. Although I expect him to lose his temper he stands still and speaks with icy calm. ‘Because you let Barlow put you in the Healer's Wing. What the fuck were you thinking? Oranges, Violence? Really?’

‘Why are you mad about it?’ I ask lifting my chin.

‘Why am I mad about it?’ He asks incredulously, stepping forward and glaring at me. ‘I’m mad that I’ve spent nearly two months training you and you seemed to forget everything you learnt the second you stepped onto that mat.’

‘That’s not fair.’ I say, crossing my arms defensively

‘Isn’t it?’ He asks, raising an eyebrow. ‘You don’t hold back against me, what did Barlow do to deserve special treatment?’

‘What did you expect me to do, it was a challenge. We weren't supposed to use our powers.’ I retort.

‘He broke that rule first, Violet. You could have wieldied and at least knocked him out, it would have been considered self defense. Emetterio would have been on your side.’

‘So just because my opponent breaks the rules, I should break them too?’ I ask disbelievingly. 

‘Yes!’ Xaden yells, finally raising his voice. ‘If your life is at stake, then break the fucking rules!’ 

The emotion in his voice shocks me and I stare at him, wide eyed in surprise. Xaden’s hands are balled at his sides and his jaw is clenched. His dark eyes are full of anger, hurt… and fear.

He’s afraid. For me. 

‘You… care.’ I say, utterly shocked.

Xaden flinches like I’ve hit him. He takes a step back and turns away from me, staring at the wall.

‘I thought you were just mad that I made you look bad.’ I told him.

‘Like I said, I’ve been training you for two months, I don’t want all that effort to be a waste.’ Xaden says with forced calm.

I start shaking my head before he’s done. ‘No, that isn't what this is about. This isn’t about training, dragons or signets. It’s not even about favors.’ I say with certainty, taking a step towards him. ‘This is about you and me, and I mean something to you. Don't I?’

Xaden closes his eyes and runs both hands through his hair. ‘Do you want to know what you are to me, Violence?’

‘Yes.’ I breathe.

Xaden looks up at me and his gaze is as raw as the words that follow: ‘You are a distraction. A complication I don’t need.’

Ouch. The words sting as they land and I take half a step back.

‘Is that not what you wanted to hear?’ Laughs Xaden darkly. ‘I’m sorry it’s not the gentle and sweet confession you hoped for, dear Violence, but I’m neither of those things.’

Xaden takes one deliberate, slow step towards me and his dark eyes are full of a hunger that has me thrilled and just a little terrified.

‘I should be focused on graduating,’ Xaden continues. ‘I should be worried about all the marked ones I'm leaving behind in this hellhole. I shouldn’t care what happens to you, on or off the mat. But I do. No matter how hard I try I can't stop. I can’t stop thinking about you, Violence. I can't stay away from you.’ 

He steps forward again and I stay where I am and look up at him. We are toe to toe now.

‘And would it be too much to ask, for you to give me just a little piece of mind and stab that idiot when he tries to hurt you?’ He whispers, lifting a hand and gently tracing a finger down the side of my cheek. ‘No. Instead, you let him almost kill you Violet.’

I shut my eyes at the pain in his voice. When he speaks my name it breaks something inside me and I feel the last of my anger, the last of my defenses against him, come crashing down. 

‘Tell me to leave.’ Says Xaden softly. ‘Tell me you hate me, tell me you don’t want me.’

I open my eyes so I can look into his eyes and see his face is half hope, half anguish.

‘Xaden, I’ve never wanted anybody more.’

He touches me then, really touches me. One hand goes to cradle the back of my head as the other splays over my hip. I put my hands on his chest and feel his heart raceing underneath my palms as I slide them up over the fabric to his shoulders as the space between us closes.

Xaden brings his mouth down to mine and hovers there a moment, just before kissing me.

‘Are you sure?’ He whispers.

'Yes' I say, and I lift my face and kiss him.

Chapter Text

Xaden holds still as I tip my face up and press my lips to the contours of his. His fingers curl against the back of my neck and he groans as he moves his mouth against mine, holding me where he wants me as our mouths part and the kiss becomes something heated and hungry. My head spins with the rush of want I feel as his tongue sweeps into my mouth. I reach up on my toes to get as close as I can to him. But it isn't enough, it isn't close enough.

Like he's had the same though, Xaden’s hands drop to my backside and he lifts me up to his height. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips as he turns and pins me to the wall. Better, I think as he slants his mouth over mine again, but the daggers sheathed at my ribs stop Xaden from pressing his body flush against mine. I bury my hands in his hair and hold him against me, kissing him back just as fiercely, just as desperately as he is kissing me. My body is alight with him, his nearness and his taste.

When his mouth leaves mine to kiss along my jaw and down the skin of my neck I moan and pull at his tunic and the leather strap across his chest that holds his sword to his back. I want him closer, I want to feel his mouth everywhere. I want his body, all of his body pressed against mine and to feel his skin against me. I roll my hips experimentally against him and he groans and both his hands fly to my hips.

‘I want you.’ I breathe.

‘I can tell.’ He laughs against my shoulder where his mouth has been stopped in its descent by the fabric of my dragonscale vest.

‘There are too many clothes.’ I complain.

‘Mmm, and daggers; in the way.’ Xaden agrees, running a hand up my side to illustrate.

‘Take me to my room.’

Xaden groans into my neck. ‘Can you wield us there?’

I shake my head. ‘I can’t take people.’

He sighs against me and takes a step back from the wall. I unwrap my legs and Xaden lowers me gently back to my feet. He takes another step away and I can feel the reluctance in his touch as his hands drop from my waist.

‘I need a minute.’ He says tensely. ‘You go first.’

I start to walk to the door. ‘You will follow me right? You aren't going to bail are you?’

‘No, I’m not going to bail. I just can’t walk through the quadrant like this.’ He gestures.

My eyes drop and I can’t help biting my lip.

‘Violet you are not helping.’ Xaden groans.

‘Okay.’ I squeak and turn back to the door.

‘Wait.’ Says Xaden as I put my hand on the latch. ‘Don’t undress, I want to do that part.’

His words make me shiver all over and I hurry to open the door and leave before I change my mind and beg him to take me right there on the floor.

I start to walk quickly down the corridor before realizing I don't have to, and I distance wield to my room.

I pace the room, unsure what to do with myself while I wait. I summon a magelight. Then I sit on the bed and jump up again. My stomach feels like it has a whole riot of dragon wings beating inside it.

When what can have only been minutes is passed and a gentle knock sounds at the door I rush to pull it open.

‘Hi.’ I say stupidly.

Xaden smirks. ‘Hi.’

I step aside and let him in. When it’s shut behind me I turn to pounce on him. my hands fist in his shirt and pull him down to my mouth. I feel his lips curving before they part and his tongue strokes against mine. But the kiss is just starting when Xaden pulls back slightly and meets my eye.

‘Violence, if we are going to do this you have to promise me something.’ His voice is low and rough.

‘What?’ I ask.

‘You can’t fall for me.’ He says.

I laugh. ‘Alright Riorson. Do you think you're that good? That if you fuck me once I’ll fall in love with you?’

‘I’m serious.’ He says.

I stop smiling.

‘Like I said-’ Xadens starts.

I hold up a hand to cut him off. ‘I remember! What you said, minutes ago. If you call me a complication one more time I'm going to withdraw my invitation.’ I glare at him and take a step away from him.

Xaden watches me go and his hands obediently drop from my body.

‘I’d have to be a masochist to let myself fall for you Xaden. We can't even go ten minutes in the same room as each other without arguing!’ I bite.

He gives a little shrug as if to say you're the one arguing.

‘And I haven’t forgotten that you're graduating in six months. Since I can't exactly picture you taking the time to  write me letters from wherever you are posted to, that rather puts a hard end date on anything between us.’ I say sourly.

I watch him to see if he will deny it, and he doesn't. I feel like a fool. I couldn’t help hoping, despite myself, that maybe he would. the intensity that he spoke with, back in the classroom, is fresh in my mind. But I remember he never confessed to caring for me, only to wanting.

‘Good.’ Says Xaden, who if anything looks relieved by what I've said. ‘You understand that there is no future for us.’

‘We are riders after all.’ I say coldly.

‘Do you still want this? If you don't, we can just forget this happened.’ He says, not meeting my eye.

Do I want him to leave? The thought of watching him walk out that door and knowing I’ll never kiss that mouth again, never feel his touch on my body in the way that I want it, of living with this burning need for him unmet, is almost unbearable.

‘Yes, I still want this. I want you to say.’ I say firmly.

Xaden looks at me surprised, but he starts to smile.

‘We can keep things casual.’ I say lightly. ‘Have our fun while you are here.’ Am I trying to convince myself or him?

‘Are you sure?’

I huff. ‘Yes. Now, get over here and start kissing me again.’

Xaden stalks towards me and lowers his mouth to my ear ‘As you wish, Violence.’ he whispers before setting his lips to the skin under my ear.

I let myself melt into the sensation generated by what his lips are doing, and just stop thinking. I’m beginning to feel swept away again by the pleasure as he finds my mouth with his.

I begin tugging at Xadens shirt, and find a sliver of exposed skin low on his stomach. His skin is so soft and beneath it I can feel his defined muscles. My fingers spread greedily under his shirt as Xaden shivers and tugs at the buckle securing the sword sheath on his back. When it’s loose he holds it in one hand and wraps the other around my waist to guide us sideways together so he can lay the sword on the desk without breaking our kiss. He keeps kissing me as he undones the sheaths holding his daggers and places those with his sword.

I pull the shirt up over his head and let my hands roam over his torso. I kiss the column of his neck and down across his shoulder. A memory comes back to me of watching him spar shirtless with Garrick and thinking I would be able count the muscles of his abdomen with my tongue. I'm considering dropping to my knees to try that when Xaden’s hands on my hips start guiding me to turn.

I look up at him questioningly.

‘Your turn.’ He says.

He runs his hands down the laces at the back of my vest and plucks the ends from where they are tucked. It's shockingly intimate as he undoes the bow and then gently but confidently pulls the laces loose all the way up my back.

‘Why do you always wear this?’ He asks curiously. ‘Not that I'm complaining about how you look in leather, but don't think I didn’t notice you wearing it under your nightgown.’

‘It's dragonscale.’

Xaden pauses in the middle of easing the laces wide enough to lift the vest over my shoulders.

‘Really?’

I nod. ‘Mira made it for me. She collected Tiene's scales and had them shrunk.’

‘No wonder you sleep in it.’ he mutters.

‘Yes. It's saved my life more than once.’ I lift my arms as he raises it over my head.

‘Thank you Mira.’ he says, draping the vest gently over my chair.

I turn to face him in my long sleeve tunic and Xaden surprises me by dropping to one knee before me and starting to unlace my boots.

‘But you won't have to have to wear it at night anymore.’ Xaden says looking up at me under his lashes.

‘Why? Because I have you here?’ I ask incredulously.

‘I’ll ward your door, Violet.’ He says, like it is obvious.

‘Really?’ I look at him with surprise. It’s surprisingly sweet of him to offer. Well if he was offering rather than telling me, it would be sweet.

Nodding, Xaden lifts one of my knees and slips my boot off, then the other. ‘I’ll ward it so only you can cross, you and anyone you pull though.’

‘And you.’ I point out.

He lifts his hands to start undoing the sheath on my left thigh. ‘And me. It is my magic, it will allow me though. Don’t worry, I’ll only visit if you invite me.’ He looks up with a grin and places a hot open mouthed kiss on the place that he just removed my daggers from.

I reach down and run both my hands through his hair, enjoying the silky feel of the strands and giving a little tug. Xaden tips his head back obligingly and his eyes darken. As he works on the other thigh sheath I bask in the pleasure of having him kneel at my feet.

For tonight, at least, this man is mine. The thought thrills me.

With all my daggers gone Xaden looks up into my eyes as he undoes the buttons on my pants. Then he eases them down my legs. When he’s tossed them aside he runs his hands up the back of my legs, up over my ass and captures the hem of my tunic. He lifts it slowly and as he exposes a sliver of skin above my underwear he presses his lips there making me gasp.

Xaden slowly rises and pulls up my tunic, his mouth follows, kissing every inch of skin he exposes.

By the time his mouth reaches the peak of my breast I’m arching into him and moan at the gentle brush of his lips. Xaden quickly slips the tunic the rest of the way over my head and drops one hand to cup my breast while the other slides down the exposed skin of my back.

‘Fuck you are so beautiful.’ He says as his lips kiss their way to my other nipple.

He’s the one who is beautiful. Dark eyes looking up at me full of wonder and lust under his tousled hair as his wicked mouth is pressed to my breast. I want to tell him but all I manage is to pant his name as the gentle teasing movements of his tongue and fingers send white hot bolts of pleasure to my core. I have to grasp his shoulders as I throw my head back or my legs might not hold me up.

‘So sensitive.’ Xaden mumbles, licking the pink bud with the flat of his tongue then leaning back and blowing cool air across the skin.

I gasp and moan at the sensation which makes him chuckle darkly.

Xaden stands and pulls me flush against him. ‘I can’t wait to hear the sounds you make when you come for me Violet.’

Then we are moving, Xaden scoops me up against his chest and I wrap my legs around him again, momentarily annoyed he is still wearing pants. But I forget it as he lays me on my bed and hovers over me, skin against skin and starts kissing me deeply. I let my hands roam over the plains and muscles of his back and sides, enjoying everything I touch, everything I feel.

Xaden kisses me with his whole body, rocking his hips into mine in time with the strokes of his tongue sparking delicious friction.

I writh beneath him, the pleasure building in my core isn't enough, it's not quite the right angle. I put my feet down on the bed beside his thighs to give me leverage and lift my hips to meet his.

Xaden slips one hand down to palm my thigh and shifts himself so his hips and body are beside me. I moan in protest until I feel his hand slide up to stroke me through my underwear. He groans deeply and sucks my bottom lip into his mouth as he feels how damp the fabric is. Then he gently tugs my underwear down to have unhindered access. Gripping his arms and shoulders I give myself over wholly to the pleasure his touch is building in me as he strokes and teases. When he presses a finger, and then a second, inside me and strokes them up against my inner walls my legs quiver and I arch my back off the bed and Xaden stops kissing me.

My eyes fly open and I see him watching me, mouth slightly parted and eyes dilated with need. ‘That’s it Violet, come for me.’

His thumb works quick circles around my clit and I fall to pieces in his arms. The pleasure washes through me and I bury my face in his chest. When I relax back onto the bed Xaden removes his hand from between my legs. He smiles down at me.

‘I bet you taste as good as you feel.’ He says, eyes sparkling. He lifts his hand to his mouth and licks, moaning obscenely. ‘Delicious.’

The banked lust within me leaps back into flames of urgent want and I sit up, pushing on his shoulder to roll him and straddle his thighs, so he's lying on his back.

‘How are you still half dressed?’ I attack the buttons of his trousers and start tugging them down along with his underwear.

Xaden lifts his hips to help and soon I have him exactly as I want him; naked and lying on my bed under me, looking up at me with lust filled eyes. Those eyes are locked on mine as I hold myself above him, one hand splayed on his chest for support as the other wraps around the thick length of him. Xaden’s hands slide up to my hips and I am about to lower myself onto him when his hands suddenly push upwards.

‘Wait.’ Says Xaden sitting up, Damn, those abs clench underneath me as he does it and I almost swoon.

I look at him questioningly, almost worried he’s suddenly changed his mind and is going to throw me off him and storm out. But he leans forward and brushes his lips against mine, thumbs stroking circles on my hips.
 
‘Can you take your hair down?’ asks Xaden softly.

‘Oh, yes I can.’

Xaden’s hands guide me to sit back on his thighs as I reach up and take out all the pins holding the braid in place. Xaden holds up a palm for me to place the pins in and drops them on my bedside table. Then he watches as I unravel the braid, eyes following my fingers as they comb through the strands and pull  them forward over my shoulder.

‘Perfect.’ He wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my hair.

I have the urge to try and keep things light and tease him about liking my hair, a power I didn’t know I had over him. But this moment and this intimacy between us feels fragile and ephemeral; like a dream I’m on the cusp of waking up from. I don’t want to speed it’s end, so I say nothing and wrap my arms around him in return and enjoy the feeling of being so close to one another.

Pulling away, Xaden puts distance between us again, physically as he lounges back onto the bed with his hand under his head and emotionally when he gives me an arrogant smirk and says: ‘You can have your way with me now Violence.’

The spark of irritation does nothing to dampen my need for him as I shift back to hover above his hips, it only drives me to lower myself with teasing slowness onto the head of his cock. I wait there, enjoying the feel of him, hot and pulsing in my hand and against my center.

His whole body flexes with the effort of holding himself back. Xaden’s hands clench and unclench at his sides and I wait until that smug look is wholly gone from his face, replaced with a desperate need. When I sink all the way onto him Xaden’s eyes close in bliss.

I take a moment, squeezing experimentally around the feel of him stretching me and filling me in such a delicious way before I start to move.

Xaden’s eyes fly open and his hands come back to my hips as I begin to ride him slowly, rolling my hips against him. He doesn’t hurry the rhythm I set, or try to bounce me up and down on his cock. Instead his hands move with me and he lets me take my time and move myself in the way I need. But he watches me, his eyes drinking in every detail from the point our bodies join to the top of my head and I shudder at the almost physical sensation of having his total focus on me.

As the pleasure coils low in my belly I watch him straining with the effort of holding himself back and I want, desperately, to push him over the edge. To see that indomitable control slip, to be the one that breaks it. When I throw my head back and cry out, coming around him he holds himself still and lets me ride out the orgasm on him.

Until my movements slow and I drop, almost boneless, to his chest. That is when Xaden wraps me in his arms and shadows and smoothly rolls us while still buried inside me.

He places his forearms under my shoulders as he begins to move inside me and cradles my head, fingers buried in my hair. When the shadows drop away I look up into his face and watch in wonder as Xaden finally loses control. His eyes are wild and the look of wonder on his face would steal my breath if I wasn’t panting for it already.

I reach for him and clutch desperately at his neck and shoulders as he cries my name and buries his face in my neck shuddering above me, within me.

When he comes down from it he rolls to lie beside me and we catch our breath together.

‘Was that alright?’ Xaden asks.

I lift myself slightly so I can see him, surprised. ‘It was a bit more than alright.’

‘I mean, I wasn’t too rough? I didn’t hurt you?’ Xaden asks.

‘I’m not that breakable Xaden.’ I roll my eyes. ‘You can fuck me harder than that and it won’t hurt me.’

‘I shouldn't stay.’ Says Xaden.

‘Yes, but you don't have to leave yet.’ I sigh.

Sweat starts to cool on my skin and I shiver. Xaden pulls the blankets out from under us and lies down again, one arm out like an invitation for me to use his bicep as my pillow.

We curl up together, One of his hands rests on my hip while the other toys with the strands of my hair. I’m surprised. I expected he’d be pulling on his pants by now and be running out the door, but I guess this is a casual snuggle.

My hand finds it’s way to his abs and I decide that I might as well take advantage of having him here while I do.

I slip out of his arms and down his body under the blanket until my mouth finds what it’s looking for. I start licking along the lines of his stomach and taste the salt of his drying sweat.

‘What are you doing?’ Asks Xaden, voice like gravel as he lifts the blanket and peers at me.

‘Research.’ I say before my mouth returns to its task.

‘Research.’ he echoes incredulously.

‘Mmm hmm. I want to know how many muscles there are in the abdominals, so I thought I’d count them.’

His stomach quivers as I drag my tongue lower. ‘Your research may have unintended consequences.’

‘Unintended perhaps, but not unwelcome.’ I grin. ‘Unless of course you have had enough?’

Xaden sucks in a breath. ‘Enough of you? No, I haven’t.’ He pulls me back up to his face and kisses me again.



Eventually, I am too tired to keep my eyes open any longer and I am falling asleep with my head on Xaden’s chest when he extracts himself from my bed. I dimly hear him move around collecting his belongings. When he comes to the bed and bends to kiss me on top of my head I am able to briefly lift it and squint at him.

‘Sleep well, Violet.’ he whispers.



In the morning there is a definite spring in my step as I walk from library duty to breakfast. Sure I had a bit of a rush this morning to shower and then change all my bedding after sleeping later than usual, but I’m definitely thinking it was worth it.

‘I’m glad you are happy.’ Says Andarna sleepily.

‘Good morning. Did you sleep well?’

I blush slightly, I hope I didn’t disturb her rest last night. Honestly now that I think about it, her absence from my thoughts last night was unusual, it was the longest I can remember going without speaking to her since threshing.

‘It’s alright,’ Andarna tells me, ‘I shield you out to give you the privacy needed.’

‘Thanks.’ I say.

When I have loaded up my breakfast tray I try really hard not to look at Xaden as I walk to the table where my squad is sitting. I feel a prickle along the back of my neck and I know if I turn I’ll meet his eye. I also know I’ll probably communicate to half the room exactly what happened between us last night.

So I straighten my shoulders and walk without looking.

‘Good Morning.’ I say brightly as I take a seat opposite Rhiannon.

‘Your in a good mood today.’ she notes.

‘Am I?’ I shug, drinking my apple juice.

‘Any particular reason for that?’ she asks suggestively.

Rhiannon must be able to read the answer in my face because she starts grinning widely.

‘Not here.’ I hiss at her and look down, along the table.

Luckily everyone else is too distracted by a story Ridoc is telling to have noticed what she has.

Rhiannon motions to a mostly empty table near us and I nod and pick up my tray.

‘Where are you going?’ Asks Sawyer.

‘Girl talk.’ Says Rhiannon over her shoulder.

Rhiannon grabs my arm and pulls me down right beside her.

‘You got laid. Spill.’ she whispers.

‘I did.’ I agree in a low voice that won’t carry.

‘Who? I thought you were training with Xaden last night.’

‘Yeah we were supposed to be training.’ I tell her, smiling.

Rhiannon gasps at me. ‘No.’

I nod and start spooning eggs into my mouth.

‘But he was so angry at you, oh!’ Rhiannon grabs my arm. ‘He was mad because he has a thing for you.’

I nod again and smile.

‘Was it good? Because he looks like he would know what he’s doing.’

I nod and swallow. ‘Oh he does. It was really, really good.’

‘Good enough to make you forget Dain?’

I grin. ‘Dain who?’

Chapter Text

‘So are you two like, together now?’ asks Rhiannon. 

‘We are casual. But keeping it underwraps, you know?’ I say

‘Because of the chain of command?’ 

‘Yes.’

We had talked about it last night at some hazy point between orgasms three and four. 

Xaden’s face had clouded: ‘I just don’t trust my temper, if anyone says-’

I put my fingers against his lips ‘I know.’ 

Then his face cleared and he kissed my fingertips. ‘Although, maybe by this point they should say I’m sleeping with you so you'll protect me.’

I had rolled my eyes at him.

‘But you are expecting a repeat?’ Asks Rhiannon.

‘Yes,’ I say, still a little distracted by my memories. ‘I’m expecting a repeat.’

Last night, incredible as it had been, had not been enough to put an end to the simmering tension between us.

‘Good. You deserve it, and you honestly need the stress relief.’ says Rhiannon.

‘I haven’t been that bad. Have I?’

‘You have been a little tense.’ Notes Andarna.

Rhiannon shugs and picks at the last of the breakfast. ‘Let’s just say, I prefer happy, smiley Violet to sexually frustrated Violet.’

‘I will eat him.’ seiths Andarna. 

‘You will not.’ I tell her

‘I will. It is what he deserves and no less for speaking to us in that way. Small minded human fool.’

‘If you eat him you will have to contend with his dragon.’ 

‘I can take Breugan. He is slow and stupid.’ argues Andarna.

‘I appreciate you are angry dear one, but please don't cause yourself indigestion by eating that sour old man. He isn’t worth it.’ I say tenderly.

I sigh as I stomp down the stairs from Carr’s classroom towards Battle Brief and practice shielding. My own anger is enough to deal with without Andarna’s too.

Carr asked me to say after wielding class, so I am a little later than the rest of my squad. I can see a seat at the end of my squad next to Liam is vacant and rather than squeezing past other students along the row, I wield to it and as I do there is a surprised gasp from behind me.

‘What did Carr want?’ asks Liam.

‘Carr wanted to let me know I don’t have to bother attending my private lessons anymore. He feels his time is better spent with other students.’ I say. 

I slam my books down on the desk a little more forcefully than needed, sending my pen flying off the side. I groan in frustration. When I duck down to see where the pen has rolled to I find it hovering beside my knee on a shadow. I let my fingers stroke through the shadow as they take the pen and I can’t help a small smile, despite my anger.

‘Oh well, some of us have never had private lessons with Carr.’ Says Liam.

‘I know,’ I say. ‘But that’s because he doesn't think you need his training, not because he thinks you are “significantly hindered in your usefulness due to being bonded to a weak dragon”.’

Liam's eyes widen in shock. ‘Does he know what you can do?’

I laugh bitterly. ‘Carr isn’t interested in party tricks. Apparently the distance wielders of old could speed entire riots from one side of the continent to the other. I can’t even take one other person a single foot.’

I can see Liam wants to say something else, to argue on my behalf but Professor Devara is starting to speak. I squeeze his arm in thanks anyway. 

When class ends we all cluster around the door waiting to file out of the big room and Liam shares what I have told him with the rest of the squad. They are all appropriately annoyed on my behalf.

‘What can we do to cheer you up?’ asks Ridoc. ‘Do you want to drink or throw knives at things?’

‘Just not at the same time.’ Says Sawyer, making me laugh. 

‘I think I am feeling a bit violent.’ I say.

‘Daggers it is then.’ Says Ridoc and we all head to the weapons range.

By dinner time I am feeling much less angry, having taken it out on the targets. When I am showered and dressed in a clean uniform I walk with my friends to the gathering hall.

I notice Xaden sitting at the leadership table when I walk in and I realize I actually managed to go the entire day without staring at him. I’m pretty proud of myself for it actually and decide I deserve a reward in the form of taking a seat at the table that has a view of him. 

As a result I’m very distracted through dinner and don’t pay much attention to the conversation around me. I’m way too busy taking peaks at Xaden and remembering last night. That mouth, the way he wraps his long fingered hands around his glass; It’s all very distracting.

When I catch his eye I drop my gaze back to my own plate, a little embarrassed, hoping my want for him is not too clearly written on my face. When I look up again through my lashes he’s watching me with a small snug smile on his face and I let my gaze hold his.

When I lift my eyebrow at him in a question Xaden frowns slightly and he shakes his head. 

I sigh and try not to be too disappointed.

‘Violet!’

I jump and look at Rhiannon who has been trying to get my attention. She sounds frustrated but she has a broad smile on her face.

‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you.’ I say blushing. 

‘I said, I’m going to study after dinner if you want to revise physics with me.’ Rhiannon laughs.

Ug, physics. I can't help it, I pull a face.

‘I take that’s a no?’ asks Rhiannon innocently.

‘No, I’ll join you. I need the help.’ And it’s not like I have plans.

A soft knock on my door surprises me when I’m brushing out my hair before bed.

When I see it’s Xaden I step back and let him in.

‘I thought you were busy.’ I tell him when the door is closed behind us.

‘I am.’ He says, eyes watching my fingers pull my hair into a loose braid over my shoulder. Then his eyes travel down the robe tied over my nightgown. ‘But I’m wishing I wasn’t.’

He’s still dressed in his winter uniform, but not in flight leathers.

‘You shouldn’t have made other plans then.’ I say.

‘In my defense, I already had these plans before you started undressing me with your eyes at dinner.’ His voice is dark with amusement.

‘Who are you meeting so late anyway?’ I ask, tying off the braid. I try to sound casual and uninvested in the answer but I don’t quite manage it.

He steps close to me and puts his hand under my chin so I meet his eyes.

‘Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Violence.’

I flinch back from his hand.

I feel foolish and embarrassed now. It’s not like we discussed being exclusive last night and I should not be surprised someone like Xaden has more than one iron in the fire. With the way he looks people are probably constantly throwing themselves at him. I’m just not sure I want to be one of many.

‘What did you want, Xaden?’ I ask crossing my arms over my chest.

‘To tell you I heard about Carr.’

I shrug.

‘Carr is an idiot. He wouldn’t know useful if it hit him in the face.’ Xaden continues.

‘At least now I don’t have to spend two hours with him alone every week.’ I say.

Xaden smiles. ‘Excellent, an extra two hours we can train.’

I can’t help softening toward him, just a little.

Xaden’s eyes darken and he steps towards me and strokes his knuckles down my cheek. ‘You know Violet, I’ve never been very good at sharing, only child and all that.’

I look at him puzzled, completely unsure where this is going.

‘And I don’t think it would be fair to ask something from you I am not willing to give myself.’ He says.

‘I don’t follow.’

‘My plans are with Garrick,’ Says Xaden, ‘and he’s not my type.’

‘Poor Garrick.’ I smile.

‘He doesn’t mind.’

‘Just to be clear you are saying you aren’t sleeping with anyone else, aren’t you?’ I ask.

‘I don’t want anyone else.’ Says Xaden, and his fingers slide into my hair at the back of my head.

When he lowers his face to mine I kiss him back and It’s just as good as it was last night. I had started to think I had remembered it better than it was, but I hadn’t. The way his lips and tongue move against mine have me grasping at him and moaning against him.

‘I could stay for a while.’ Xaden says as he pulls back from our kiss.

It’s tempting. But, I don’t want to settle for a fraction of his attention so I lower my hands from his shoulders and put a handspan of distance between us. ‘I wouldn’t want you to leave Garrick waiting.’

‘You are right, I shouldn’t.’ Xaden sighs in frustration. He moves his arms to wrap around my shoulders and presses his lips to the top of my head. ‘Next time, I'll make sure I have all night to spend with you.’ 

‘Promise?’ 

I feel him nod. ‘And I promise I will make you come over and over until your voice is hoarse from screaming my name.’ 

Heat floods my body and I shiver. I tip my head up to see his eyes reflecting my own desire, and I try to kiss the arrogant look off his face. The kiss is intense, all heat and simmering lust. Xaden’s arms pull me impossibly closer against his chest as my hands rake through his hair. His tongue strokes against mine as I open my mouth to his. 

Too soon he pulls away and I fist my hands in his shirt and nip at his lip in annoyance before I let him go. 

He wrenches himself across the room and towards the door. As if he can't trust himself to be within arms reach a moment longer. 

‘Good night Violet.’ He says, voice slightly ragged.

‘Night Xaden.’ I say sweetly.

Xaden looks utterly debauched as he leaves. His hair is a mess and his clothes rumpled. His eyes are heavy with lust and his lips swollen from kissing. It brings me a sense of satisfaction knowing it was my hands on him, my lips against his that made him look like that. That the look in his eyes is for me alone.

Xaden walks quickly through the halls of Basgaith, his shadows muffling the tread of his boots and telling him there is no-one else about. Checking his pocket watch he sees that he is later than he’d realised. He had taken longer than he intended visiting Violet's room, and he’d almost stayed even longer. He had trouble controlling himself when it came to Violet.

But Xaden couldn’t regret the way things had turned out. He tells himself that when he weighs all the considerations it is better this way; that he will be less distracted like this. On nights like tonight he can relax knowing she is sleeping safely behind her own warded door, and not in anyone else’s bed. He won’t need to be jealous of Liam anymore for the easy smiles and laughter they share. He won’t be driven mad by wanting her, wondering what she feels and tastes like, because he can fulfill that desire.

And he tells himself he will. He tells himself that by the time graduation comes, surely he’ll be satisfied, that dreams of hazel eyes won’t follow him wherever he goes.

He tells himself he believes it.

Garrick and Bodhi are waiting up ahead and Xaden let his footsteps sound so they know he is there. They both turned to him a little relieved.

‘There you are.’ Says Garrick.

‘We were thinking you weren't coming.’ Adds Bodhi, which is not an accusation but a statement. Any hundreds of reasons could have delayed Xaden, it just so happened to have been Violet tonight.

Garrick looks Xaden up and down and smirks at him.

‘What?’ Asks Xaden.

‘So it was pleasure, not business.’ Garrick says and Bodhi laughs.

‘I don’t know what you're talking about’ He tries not to self consciously straighten his clothes, remembering Violet’s hands tugging at them.

‘Who were you with?’ Asks Bodhi.

‘You need to ask?’ Laughs Garrick.

‘I wasn’t with anyone.’ Lies Xaden.

‘Sure, so your hair is like that because you walked in socks on a rug?’ Gestures Garrick.

Bodhi leans slightly towards him. ‘And I guess that’s your perfume I can smell on you?’

Xaden glares at them both and stalks down the corridor.

‘Hmm, what does that scent remind you of Bodhi?’ Garrick asks mockingly.

‘I’m not sure, but it’s something delicate and floral.’

‘Enough.’ Says Xaden turning around. ‘I was late because I was with Violet. Happy now?’

Bodhi and Garrick look at each other and then at him.

‘I’m happy, if you are.’ Says Bodhi gently and Garrick nods.

Xaden is taken back.

‘Are you happy Xaden?’ Bodhi asks again.

And Xaden realizes that he is.

Chapter Text

While Basgaith is in the grip of winter the sparring gym becomes rather popular. During the times usually scheduled for flight field it is often busy.

One of the perks of being a Wingleader, I'm learning, is that even when the gym is at capacity you can monopolize a mat for your own use. And being a sparring partner of choice of said Wingleader means I get uninterrupted time too.

The audience? Something I have to get used to. 

The first time I walk across the gym at Xaden’s side after our explosive night together it feels like everyone's eyes are on me. Because they are. I feel like they are all wondering what he’s doing here with me, why he's spending his time with a first year. Not even a first year like Liam who physically is Xaden’s equal but small, weak and famously breakable Violet Sorrengail.

We face off across the mat, curls of shadow lifting off its surface and Xaden lifts the corner of his mouth a little. He knows better than to say it outloud, but I know he's telling me I have to block it all out or he will use my distraction to his advantage. It's easier said than done, but I'm only a little slow for the first few beats. 

Then it's easy as I'm fully focused on him. Watching him, reacting to his movements and looking for an opening. The hardest bit honestly is wielding out of his arms, because I don't really want to. But I do, because the only thing better is seeing the look of satisfaction on his face when I kick his ass.

When we are done and Xaden turns to his weapons I see all of the people who were watching us look away. I have to fight to keep my shoulders down and my head high. My movements are still stiff as I walk to the edge of the mat.

Xaden looks at me and glares around the room, trying to identify what has made me uncomfortable. When he doesn’t find Barlow standing to the side blowing me kisses or Dain watching us with betrayal in his eyes he looks back at me questioningly. 

I just shake my head. 

He doesn't understand. His reputation and position here make him untouchable. If people talk about him it's with fear, respect or envy. No-one would wonder why anybody would choose to spend time with him.

Other cadets have taken the mat. There is enough noise and space around us that no one will hear the low tone of his voice. 

‘Are you busy tonight?’ Xaden asks.

‘No.’

‘Neither I am.’ He says quietly, but the look in his eyes reminds me of his promise from last night. 

We continue to train together whenever we can find the time, which Xaden has more of now that no one is flying. The sight of us together becomes less of a talking point but people still overtly stare at us while we spar. When Xaden finally gets me to articulate what is worrying me he gives me a curious look. 

‘Don't you know why they are starting?’ He asks.

‘Because they are wondering why you spar with me?’ I guess.

He frowns. ‘They stare because you are fucking incredible, Violet.’

I gape at him.

‘Trust me, that's what people are thinking. No one is wondering why I spar with you, or think you must trade me sex for the privilege.’ 

I smack him on the arm.

‘I'm not saying you do! I'd still ask you to spar with me even if we weren't fucking. You are the only opponent here who pushes me, Besides Garrick.’

Later I lie with my head on Xaden’s chest and my eyes trace the swirls of the relic on his left arm, which is wrapped over my back. I want to trace the pattern with my fingers too, but I'm not brave enough.

‘I've been thinking.’ Says Xaden softly. 

I lift my head up to look at him. He's beautiful, all rumpled and relaxed, his dark eyes a little glazed with pleasure. I'm finding that post coital Xaden is maybe my favorite Xaden. He is less guarded in these hazy moments, like he leaves the indifference and arrogance he uses to distance himself from the world on the floor of my room along with his clothes.

‘What have you been thinking?’ I ask. 

He doesn't answer immediately, but lifts a hand to my chin and pulls my face closer so he can kiss me lazily.

The desire I always have for him is now dulled by the drowsy afterglow of pleasure, but it's never really gone. That's another thing I'm learning. If he keeps kissing me soon enough I'll be greedily writhing against him; desperate for his hands, or mouth or cock, to take me to that dizzying hight again. 

But I want to know what he was going to say. So I pull back from his mouth and prompt him to continue. 

‘You have been thinking?’ 

‘I have been thinking. Would you be able to wield from Andarna to a moving target? Like to the back of another dragon while they are flying?’ 

I can't help laughing softly. ‘Is that what you usually think about while we are together? My wielding?’ 

‘No,’ He smiles, ‘it's not.’ His hands move down my body under the blankets.

I bite my lip and shift against him. ‘Good. I'd honestly be insulted if it was’ 

‘But I do think you should try it.’ Xaden continues. ‘If you can, it would be incredible.’ 

‘Wielding to another Dragon? I guess I can try.’

‘Excellent, now I just have to convince Sgeayl to let you.’ 

‘Easy, I'm sure like all dragons she just loves being told what to do.’ I laugh. 

Xaden winces and I wonder if Sgaeyl is giving him a piece of her mind.

Though it's a little embarrassing to think that terrifyingly Blue is in his head while we are entangled like this I giggle. 

Sighing in a long suffering way  Xaden rolls me off him and slips to the edge of the bed. He sits up and reaches for one of the glasses on my bedside table. 

My eyes follow the lines of muscle from that arm back across his shoulders and back. Under his enormous dragon relic Xaden’s back is entirely covered in a series of faintly raised straight lines. Where his skin is it's natural light brown colour between the patches of blue, they are silvery white.

The first time I saw the scars I had been unable to stop the gasp that escaped my lips. It had been here, in my room. Xaden’s entire body had gone tense and when he faced me his expression had been unreadable.

‘Don’t ask.’ He had said harshly, ‘Trust me, you don’t want to know.’

We haven’t talked about it since. Accepting this boundary, I am not pushing him. But I want to. I am desperate to ask how he got those scars. It looks like someone cut into him deliberately, over and over, and my stomach turns at the thought of such cruelty being done to him.

I sit up behind him now, holding the blankets to my chest and lay my head on his shoulder.

When he turns he smiles at me, in the soft way he only does when we are here. 

I hold back the question that is on the tip of my tongue. I lift my hand up to his jaw and stroke my fingers along the skin there. I let myself focus on the smooth skin of his face, the scar on which he has willingly shared the history of. I note his cheek is very smooth in fact, with no trace of stubble.

‘Did you shave before coming over?’ I blurt out.

Xaden’s lips twitch and he nods. He looks down at me. ‘I didn't want to scratch up your delicate inner thighs.’

‘That’s very considerate.’ I blush.

‘You're welcome.’ Xaden smirks and rubs his cheek against my palm.

I can't help thinking about the things he did earlier, while his face was between my thighs. Those eyes looking up at me with the same wicked look they have now.

He turns his face and kisses my palm, then twining his fingers through mine he kisses slowly up my wrist and forearm and tugs me towards him. He peels away the blankets I'm clutching to my chest in my right hand as his mouth kisses over my shoulder.

I melt willingly into his arms then as he keeps kissing me and I put the thought of his back and the scars covering it out of my mind.

When I wake the next day I roll over in my bed, hand reaching out under the covers but I'm alone. I'm not really surprised, although I don't remember Xaden leaving. I fell asleep with him curled around me while I listened to the steady sound of his breathing. I know better than to expect he will stay the night.

When March comes and the weather is slightly warmer Xaden tells me Sgeayl as agreed to let me try wielding onto her back. I dress the next day in my fur-lined winter flight leathers and put goves, goggles and a woolen hat into the pocket of my cloak before attending formation.

I’m thrilled to be skipping Carr’s class this morning, and hearing from Rhiannon that a cadet in Second Wing burned themselves to death in that room yesterday only makes me more pleased. 

While Dain is giving us all a talking to about preparing for the squad battle that is coming in just a few short weeks I can’t help peering around him looking for Xaden. We agreed to meet here and head straight to the flight field. Sure enough I see him nod farewell to his executive officer and walk to where we are standing.

‘Which is why I need you all to get to class, especially you.’ Says Dain, looking at me pointedly. ‘I’m going to need you to pull your weight in the wielding challenge.’

The fact that he thinks I can’t hold my own in any other area goes unspoken and I feel my temper rising.

‘She’s going to miss Carr’s class today.’ Says Xaden from behind Dain.

‘No, she’s not.’ Says Dain. He clearly thinks better of this staement when Xaden gives him a chilling stare and raises an eyebrow. ‘Sir, I mean unless the Wing has more pressing matters for Cadet Sorrengail, I think her time is best spent developing her wielding.’

‘I agree. Which is why she’s not wasting it sitting in that classroom.’ Says Xaden.

I try not to smile as I step around Dain and towards Xaden. 

Dain gives me an unhappy look as Xaden turns on his heel and walks towards the gate in the courtyard that leads to the flight field tunnel.

Xaden pulls the door open and stands aside for me to go through first.

I give him a puzzled smile as I step ahead of him. It’s exactly the kind of thing he is normally careful not to do; like touching me in a familiar way, or speaking to me about anything besides training, when we are outside my room.

‘What?’ asks Xaden while we walk side by side in the tunnel.

‘You opened the door for me.’ I say.

‘Old habits die hard.’ He shrugs, ‘My father taught me that-’ his voice breaks off abruptly and he looks away.

The look on his face makes my heart constrict in my chest. I know all too well what he’s feeling, how the grief that is always there as background noise can sometimes sneak up on you, fresh and sharp. Stealing your breath when your defenses are down.

Even if there were words that would help, and I know there are not, he wouldn’t want me to say anything. So I just reach out and take his hand in mine. At first I feel Xaden’s tension radiating down his arm and think he will pull away, but then he surprises me. His hand relaxes in mine, he lets our fingers lace and we walk hand in hand to the end of the tunnel.

When we get to the top of the stairs I’m surprised to see not two but three dragons waiting for us. Behind Andanrna is a huge black dragon that is a head taller than even Sgeayl.

‘This is Tairn.’ Andarna tells me as I walk up to her and hug her lowered head. I sigh and close my eyes, it’s wonderful to be with her.

‘I saw him before, flying with us that night, didn’t I?’ I ask. I remember seeing the shapes of two large dragons against the sky on our frantic flight from the Vale.

‘Yes.’ Andarna confirms. ‘Tairn has come to help us train. It was he who convinced Sgeayl of the merrit of trying her rider’s plan.’

I look across at Xaden. He looks a little surprised too, so I guess he has also just been informed that we have an additional dragon joining us.

I watch Xaden run up Sgeayl’s foreleg and think about all the muscles I know are under those flight leathers.

Andarna chuffs at me and gives me the mental equivalent of an elbow in the ribs. ‘We don’t have time for that now.’ She admonishes me.

I wield to her back and she spreads her wings, launching us up into the sky. 

Train and Sgeayl follow and as we turn to fly southwest of Basgiath I see other dragons coming from the south. There are three of them as well and they are close enough that I recognise the Brown at the front. General Lilith Sorrengail flies past us on the back of Aimsir, without more than a glance in her daughter's direction. 

I realize I’ve had a very lucky escape; I almost met my mother on the stairs while I was holding hands with Xaden.

Chapter Text

Andarna and I soar high above the forest with Sgeayl and Xaden at our side. Below us flys Tairn.

He is there, Andarna tells me, just in case something goes wrong. He's offered to watch and should I fall too far away from Andarna, and for some reason be unable to wield back in time, he will catch me.

It does make me feel safer, although he is intimidatingly large and fierce in appearance. I also know as well as anyone that other dragons are not always friendly to riders they are not bonded to. But Andarna trusts him implicitly, and that trust is mine now.

I think of Tairn’s history as Kaori told it, how he lost his only rider the day my brother died and my heart goes out to him. There is a piercing spike of sadness from Andarna, I know that she is fond of him and grieves for his loss. If Andarna respects Sgeayl then she idolizes Tairn.

‘Sgeayl asks if you are ready to try.’ Andarna says.

I turn my focus from the broad black wings below us to Xaden and Sgeayl. Andarna is keeping pace with the larger dragon and I can see across their wings to where Xaden is. I ground and let my power flow into me and feel with my mind for the distance between us.

Xaden’s face is turned in my direction and he opens his arms like an invitation. I reach for him, aware of the familiar sensation of my signet latching onto a location and then I drop into the space before him. Xaden’s arms wrap tight around me, securing my back to his chest and I hear his delighted laugh over the rushing wind.

Andarna lets out a whoop in my mind and my smile is so wide it feels like it will split my face.

I drop my hands to where Xadens’s are clutched at my sides, and squeeze his fingers before wielding back to Andarna’s back.

The first test could not have gone better. Buoyed by my success I continue with the plan that we had previously agreed on and I made several jumps backwards and forward between the dragons. When Andarna is confident I can wield with the same precision and control that I have on the mat, we add increasing complexity. Andarna flys at different heights, speeds and directions to Sgeayl.

Then while I’m sitting behind Xaden with my arms wrapped around his middle he turns his head to tell me we should head back. It’s hard to have a conversation on dragon back, I’ve discovered.

I start to loosen my hold on him, which isn’t really needed to wield away, when his hand grabs mine and he holds tight.

Andarna laughs at me, and I see her fly down to level out beside Sgeayl, she looks so small from here. Then our shadow, the enormous Tairn, rises on Andarna’s other side and I gasp. His mass completely dwarfs Andara, his immense wings beating once for every two beats of hers. Although they are both black, I can still see Andarna clearly against his side, her slimmer more streamlined shape identifiable as Andarna’s scales catch the sunlight and gleam with reflected sky. Meanwhile Tairn’s seem to absorb it, and I wonder if it is because she is younger. Will Andarna’s scales lose their iridescence with time too?

I feel a rumble pass through the body of the dragon beneath me, and I know I’ve outstayed my welcome. Xaden’s hand lets go of mine and I wield back to Andarna.

On the walk back to the citadel Xaden is full of enthusiasm for this new skill, and all the ways it could be used in battle. I smiled at his buoyant mood which matches my own: Andarna’s mix of euphoria and pride fill my mind like sparkling wine, and my feet seem to hardly touch the stairs as I skip down them at Xaden’s side.

As we passed back through the tunnel and into the courtyard he masks his expression and I feel my own smile fall in response. My steps are calm and measured as my boots hit gravel.

We stop and stand stiff and awkward before the rotunda. Xaden nods to me and we go our separate ways like casual acquaintances.

.............

‘Second squad!’ Xaden yells, calling the milling cadets to attention.

We are all gathered on the flight field a week and a half after I first distance wielded to Sgeayls back. After practising again together Xaden and I designed the exercise that we are going to try today.

My squad fall silent and give Xaden their attention.  They all know what we are planning to do today. Some of them are more enthusiastic than others. Ridoc is almost vibrating with excitement. The other first years,  as well as Quinn, are keen. Third years Heaton and Emery are curious and happy to be involved. Cienna and Imogen both have neutral expressions but had no objection to joining the exercise.

Only Dain is unhappy. He's only here because he feels obliged to keep an eye on proceedings. And I know he tried to stop us altogether, by going to Kaori to complain, only to be told the plan sounded brilliant and that Kaori would throw his support behind it as flight formation instructor.

‘You have all been given a flag.’ Xaden tells them, holding up his own triangle of red fabric. ‘This flag represents your life and you will guard it as such. Your primary aim is to stop Sorrengail taking it. If she steals it, you're dead. You stop taking part and you and your dragon will land ’ Xaden Looks at me where I stand beside him and gestures.

I turn around briefly so they can see the blue triangle hanging from my collar at the back of my flight jacket.

‘Your secondary aim is to remove Sorrengail’s flag, if you can.’ Xaden continues. ‘Remember Second Squad, for the purpose of today's exercise Cadet Sorrengail is not your friend, nor is she your squadmate. She is a Gryphon Rider, she will not show you mercy so do not show it to her. Do not pull your punches, do not hesitate to push her off your dragon.’

Dain frowns and crosses his arms.

‘Sorrengail will be perfectly safe.’ Xaden rolls his eyes. ‘Your dragons won't be flying lower than a height that gives her plenty of time to distance wield.’

Dain continues to pout. So Xaden turns to me. He looks slightly annoyed, but I see his eyes shine and know he is enjoying himself.

‘It seems Squad Leader Atoes requires a demonstration.’ Says Xaden.

I nod and suggest to Andarna what we should do.

‘Gladly.’ Says Andarna.

Andarna launches. She flies towards us from behind me and I see my squad mates' faces tip us as she gets closer.

‘Now.’

When she is above me I wield up onto her back. I crouch low and hold on as she climbs. When we have gone high enough she levels out and hovers. I stand up from Andarna's back and jump off.

Its a wild thing to do, I know, jump off my dragon. But, I've become so confident in my abilities that it's surprisingly easy. I let myself fall a distance towards the huddled group of black clad bodies in the snow, my power flowing through my mind and body. Then I wield, placing myself back where I started, standing at Xaden’s side.

My friends clap. Heaton and Emery who haven't seen me wield as often look impressed and join in too. Even Imogen looks impressed and she looks at Dain’s sour expression and smirks.

‘The exercise is over if someone gets Sorrengail’s flag, or if she grounds all of us. Any questions?’

Ridoc puts his hand up. ‘What do we get if we win?’

Xaden frowns. ‘Nothing. Any other questions?’

‘Can we use our signets?’ Asks Rhiannon.

‘You can’t use yours to get Sorrengail’s flag.’ Says Xaden, ‘But everyone else, yes.’

When there are no more questions Xaden dismisses them to prepare. ‘Allright, attach your flags and mount. We will be flying in formation.’

Xaden attaches his flag to a button on the front of his jacket and everyone else follows his example.

I skip over to Rhiannon.

‘Are you ready?’ She asks, matching my wide smile.

I nod. ‘I am so excited.’

Ridoc joins us and throws an arm over my shoulder. ‘Me too, this is going to be awesome.’

‘Where is your flag ?’ Rhiannon asks.

I look down and see Ridoc doesn't have it secured to his chest.

‘I put it somewhere extra special, just for you Vi.’ He grins and winks.

I roll my eyes.

‘Cadet Gamlyn,’ calls an icy voice from behind me, ‘If you have put your flag down your trousers, remove it now. Or I'll send Squad Leader Aetos to remove it for you.’

There is a sound of objection from Dain. 'Why me?'

Ridoc pales slightly and I turn to see Xaden’s murderous expression.

I lift an eyebrow at him. He wasn't kidding about the not sharing thing. ‘Ridoc is only joking, aren't you Ridoc?’ I turn back and pray I'm right.

Ridoc nods mutley and pulls his flag out from where he had shoved it inside his jacket.

The tension around us eases a little and Xaden stalks over to Sgeayl.

‘That was terrifying.’ whispers Ridoc.

‘Maybe we don't make that kind of joke around the Wingleader anymore, okay?’ Rhiannon says, pating his arm.

‘Okay.’ Says Ridoc in a small voice.

Rhiannon gives me a look that I can't interpret as we part to mount our dragons.

Sgeayl heads their formation, Andarna and I hang back and watch them launch. Then we launch too, and fly higher to gain a vantage point.

I know the plan is that Xaden and Sgeayl will lead them through some flight maneuvers that are not too testing for the first years.

We easily catch up to them despite their head start and soar overhead.

I see Sgeayl react to our presence and turn to lead the riot away from us.

‘I think I'll leave them till last.’ I tell Andarna as I choose my first target.

I start at the back of the formation and wield to Sliseag’s back. I wrap my arm around Sawyer's side and grab the flag. He reacts, jumping away from my touch and shouting just as I wield to Aotrom and do the same to Ridoc.

Back on Andarna’s back a second later we watch with satisfaction as the two dragons peel away from the formation below.

Liam is on his guard when I arrive on Deigh. When I try to reach over his shoulder he grabs my arm in one hand and the shoulder of my jacket in the other and pulls my weight forward so I roll over him.
Unfortunately for him my hand closed on his flag and I wield away before my back hits Deigh's in front of him.

On Andarna I adjust my flight jacket and check my flag is still in place.

‘Time to mix it up.’ Suggests Andarna.

‘Agreed.’

Andarna puts on a burst of speed and then dives down in the center of the riot, causing chaos. The following dragons turn, duck and stop following Sgeayl.

I take advantage of the mayhem and relieve Cienna, who was flying to Xaden’s left, of her flag. I grab it and then jump from her dragon’s back while looking across to Cath.

I land in front of Dain who is so shocked he sits back and just stares while I crouch and grab his flag. He makes a belated attempt to grab me, wrapping his arms around my legs (which is against the rules, he's dead he can't get me now) but It doesn't matter. I wield back to Andarna who is now watching the chaos she caused from below.

Sgeayl manages to re-mashaal her riot into order, but not before I've picked off Rhiannon. Rhi makes a valiant attempt at elbowing me off Feirge's back, I wield to her other side as she makes contact with my ribs and take the flag while she is still turned away.

Andarna and I dogg the riot, I have only the three third years, Quinn and Imogen left. I expect Imogen will give me the most trouble besides Xaden and feel Andarna’s agreement that we shouldn’t give her anymore time to anticipate us.

When I wield behind Imogine and try to reach around for her flag she twists in her seat and throws her elbow back. I wield to sit in front of her and just as my fingers close on her flag her fist snaps forward lighting fast and catches me in the mouth.

Back on Andarna I touch my lip with my tongue and taste blood. But Imogine’s flag is in my possession now and her dragon drops down from the formation.

Quinn gives me pause when suddenly there are two of her on her dragons back. But my hand passes right through the first Quinn's chest and my fingers close on the second Quinn's flag.

Emery throws his arm out at me when I wield behind him and a fierce wind blows me right off. I tumble in free fall, before returning to Andarna.

‘Try again, they can't sustain that wind without blowing Niamh off course.’ Says Andarna.

I wield back, and this time when Emery blows me off I wield to his other side and the wind cuts out. I grab the flag on his chest as they notice and a bast blows me and the flag away.

Heaton is glancing around at the empty space where riot was when I weild behind them. They twist and grab my legs, flipping me up, but I wield out of the tumble it throws me into. They jump to their feet on their large Green's back throw a puch and kick at me. I dodge and duck and in a moment see a opening to place myself within their guard. I take it and I'm gone with the flag before Heaton can grab me.

‘Now just Sgeayl's rider.’ Says Andarna with glee.

Sgeayl flys slowly below us, Xaden looking up, waiting as Andarna and I circle.

I wield directly behind Xaden and wrap my arms around his middle, reacting for the flag. He grabs my wrists in an iron hold and forces my hands appart- not letting me make contact with his chest. I wield to be in front of him, facing back towards him, and shadows twist up around me. My arms pinned to my sides, I glare at him as he reaches for my back, but I wield away to Andarna.

I check my flag is still in place.

‘We need a different tactic.’ says Andarna.

Below us, as Sgeayl flys on Xaden holds his hands up and pulls up a cloud of shadow around himself, so he is completely obscured from view. He must be betting on hampering my ability to find him without a visual, and relying on his shadows to feel me coming.

I know he'll sense me the second I'm in his shadows and I wonder how I can get close enough to him when I realise, he might do that for me.

I reach out and rather than selecting a point on Sgeayl back I aim to place myself in the air before and above her. I fall into the cloud of shadow and feel first Xaden’s shadows and then his flesh and blood arms pull me into a cradle against his chest. My fingers fumble at the front of his jacket and I smile into the dark as I wield away.

Back on Andarna’s back I grin in victory and look across at Xaden.

He lets his shadows melt away, and my smile falls as I see the blue flag griped firmly in his fist.

We fly to land back on the flight fielf and everyone runs up to form a semi-circle befor Andarna. Rhi looks up at me with the flag in my hands, but here face falls as she sees my expression.

‘Did you win? Or loose?’ Rhiannon asks.

‘I don't know.’ I say and look over to where  Sgeayl has landed after us.

‘How can you not know?’ Gasps Ridoc.

Xaden jumps down from Sgeayl and stares daggers at me across the snowy ground.

Everyone else sees his look and they  hang back as I walk over to him.

‘You played dirty.’ Xaden growls, his voice low and his eyes flashing furiously.

‘What? How?’ I ask, genuinely supprised.

He shakes his head. ‘You did that so I would pull you with in arms reach, that's not fair Violence you took advantage of me.’

‘Took advantage of you?’ I can't stop my laugh. ‘You are the one who summoned the shadows, you were hoping it would stop me from wielding accurately. It's not my fault I can't aim without line of sight.’

Xaden narrows his eyes at me. ‘You are not that inaccurate. You played the damsel in distress.’

I shug. ‘Your just upset it worked.’

‘Did it?’ asks Xaden, smirking and lifting the blue flag.

‘I got your flag, I got everyones.’ I argue.

‘But did you get me before I go you?’ He asks.

And I don't answer, as in truth I don't  know.

‘As far as I could tell, I pulled your flag off as you got mine.’ Says Xaden.

‘But who wins then?’ I ask.

‘No-one.’ Says Xaden grimly. ‘There are no winners amongst the dead.’

Chapter Text

‘There are no winners amongst the dead’

There is disappointment amongst the squad when Xaden’s ruling is shared. They had clustered around me when I walked back over and all their faces fell when they heard.

‘I still think you were incredible.’ Rhiannon says hugging me.

‘Yeah for certain we didn't win.’ laughs Sawyer. 

When Rhiannon releases me from her hug Liam sweeps me up in his arms.

‘You are terrifying.’ He says, making me laugh. ‘I am just glad that we will be on the same side, for the real fighting.’

The afternoon shadows are growing long on the ground when Second squad leaves the flight field. We walk in a group, everyone chatting and discussing how they would defend against me differently next time.

I walk with my friends and listen to their conversation, but my eyes are on Xaden’s back ahead of us. His shoulders are tense and he is still radiating frustration.

‘Violet, I didn't realize Andarna was so fast.’ Says Cienna. She's at my shoulder as we start to descend the stairs.

Andarna preens at the compliment. 

‘Yep, she's fast and agile.’ I say.

‘You should see her in flight maneuvers,’ adds Ridoc enthusiastically, ‘She can turn on a wingtip and her acceleration is incredible.’

‘That could be seriously useful for us in the Squad Battle.’ Says Cienna. 

‘If only Violet could hold her seat.’ Dain chimes in. 

I turn around to glare up at him.

‘Vi falls much less than she used to.’ Says Rhiannon.

‘Less?’

‘She's making progress,  Aetos.’ Snaps Imogen who also turns to glare at our squad leader. I guess she takes his comment personally after spending countless hours making me lift those awful weights.

‘With the time she spends lifting weights, training with Riorson and training with us; Violet is working harder than anyone else in this squad.’ Says Liam quietly. 

‘And if she falls off Andarna, she can just distance wield back, we all saw that.’ Adds Ridoc. 

‘But she still falls off. I don't think the instructors will count her time on the sky gauntlet if she isn't on her dragon for half of it.’ Says Dain.

I scowl and keep stomping down the stairs. It never matters with him how much progress I've made; it is never enough.

No one speaks for a moment until Xaden, still walking ahead of us all, calls back over his shoulder casually: ‘If only there was some way to help Sorrengail hold her seat, if she had, say, some kind of external support for her grip.’

I try to glare a hole in the back of his stupidly beautiful head. Who's side is he on with a comment like that?

Usually, Xaden makes me feel like I am his equal. The way he speaks about my abilities and coaches their development makes me think he sees me as someone as formidable as him. Or at least someone capable of being as formidable as him. Hearing him agree with Dain? It's like having a bucket of cold water dumped on me. 

‘He's not agreeing with the Squad Leader.’ Andarna says gently. 

Xaden reaches the bottom of the stairs and looks back. When his eyes meet mine there is a brief flash of surprise at my furious expression that's unmistakably aimed at him.

‘He is agreeing with Dain.’ I tell Andarna. ‘He agreed I need help holding my seat.’

‘Violet, it is an unavoidable reality that your body is different from those of other riders’. Just as mine is different from their dragons’.’ 

I slow my steps as I reach the end of the stairs and frown. Andarna senses my reluctance to accept her statement.

‘It does not make you less, Violet. You know I do not believe that.’ Andarna promises. ‘And I do not think your Wingleader believes that either. The Squad Leader, however, is an ass.’

‘Violet?’ Rhiannon touches my arm gently.

I've stopped on the second last step lost in my thoughts with Andarna and everyone else is having to file past me. 

I shake myself out of it and follow Rhiannon towards the tunnel.

Xaden has walked on ahead, and when I enter the courtyard he is nowhere in sight. A little tendril of shadow caresses my wrist and causes me to pause.

Rhiannon looks back at me questioningly. 

‘You go on. I'll see you at dinner.’ I tell her.

‘Allright.’ Rhiannon says with a knowing smile.

The shadow slips into my hand and I let it draw me across the courtyard to an alcove where it's wielder is waiting out of sight.

‘Are you mad because of the game?’ Asks Xaden softly.

I shake my head as I move further into the alcove with him. ‘I'm mad you agreed with Dain.’

Xaden frowns down at me. ‘I don't agree with Aetos, about anything.  Especially not anything to do with you.’

I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow.

‘I don't.’ Xaden insists. ‘Aetos thinks you belong tucked away in the Archives, with only books for company. Far, far, away from me.’ he brushes his fingers over my cheek and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

I'm warming to him and I can't help but lean into his touch.

 ‘I think you belong here.’ Xaden continues. ‘With your daggers and your dragon.’

I smile at him.

‘You were incredible today.’ Xaden says softly.

 His other hand slips around my waist and I willing step forward as he draws me to him, reducing the space between us. 

‘I thought you were mad at me too.’ I tell him.

‘I still am.’ Xaden’s expression clouds briefly. ‘But, it doesn't stop me from admiring your performance against everyone else.’

‘Is that what you're doing? Admiring my performance?’ Put my hands on his chest and tip my head up.

He smirks at me and drops a kiss to my lips.

It's too brief for my liking and I hold back a pout when Xaden raises his head again.

‘Will you stop by later?’ I ask.

Xaden sighs ‘I can't.’ 

I try not to be disappointed, but Xaden has been busy a lot the last two weeks.

‘I can't train with you tomorrow either.’ He says reluctantly. ‘I'll be gone until tomorrow night.’

‘Where are you going?’ I ask.

He looks away from me, out into the courtyard. ‘Please don't ask, I can't tell you. It's just a third year thing.’

‘Okay.’ I say softly, although I want to ask. I want to say stupid sappy things too, like I’ll miss him.

Xaden sighs and looks back at me. His arms tighten around me and he dips to kiss me again. It's slow and sweet at first, but before long the familiar wildfire passion rises between us; consuming everything in its wake. Caution and restraint are early casualties as he lifts me with his hands under my backside and turns to press my body against the wall.

I wrap my legs and arms around him and cling, while he devours my mouth with his own and I melt into him.

Dimly, I am aware that we shouldn’t be doing this here; outside, without four walls around us. But I can't bring myself to care. The way Xaden’s hands slip up under my flight jacket to press against my body tell me he doesn’t care either.

It's the hour before dinner, when the dorms are the most crowded with students chatting and unwinding. I could wield to my room without my squad seeing, but Xaden has no chance of sneaking in unnoticed. That leaves the dark corner of this alcove as the best privacy we can find at this time of day.

Of course, if I knew where Xaden’s room was I would be able to wield there unnoticed. But I don't know, other than it's on the third year floor as he hasn't invited me over. This is one of the unspoken boundaries he has set on our relationship, he visits me and not the other way around. I accept it and usually I do not mind. 

Xaden balances me on his thigh with one hand and leans back slightly, while the other hand slips down to the buttons on the front of my flight leathers.

‘May I?’ He asks.

My eyes flicker behind him to the slice of empty courtyard that I can see. We are out of sight here, now, but anyone could walk past and look in. I'm torn, I'm as desperate for more as he is but not quite so desperate that I'll totally throw caution to the wind.

Xaden pulls on the shadows around us and they fall in a curtain that cuts off the view in both directions.

‘Is that better?’ He murmurs.

‘Yes. But If anyone comes by, they will know it's you.’ I whisper in the dark, sliding my hand up to feel his jaw and cheek.

‘But they won't know you are here.’ he promises. 

When I don't respond immediately Xaden steps us away from the wall and lowers me back onto my own feet. The shadows fall back into their place.

‘We can wait.’ He whispers, pressing a kiss into the top of my hair.

Chapter Text

The flight between Basgaith and Athebyne was no longer entertaining after you had flown it more than fifty times. It was worse when it was night time and Xaden didn’t even have the landscape passing underneath to distract him. He was alone in the night sky with his own thoughts.

‘Not completely alone.’ Sgeayl reminded him.

Xaden shifted his position and stretched his arms and shoulders, looking behind him for the shapes of Chradh at their right and Cuir at their left. It was too dark tonight to make out more than their shapes against the dark landscape. He couldn’t see his friend or cousin. He envied Garrick who he knew could sleep through this flight, but Xaden struggled enough to sleep when he was in a bed on the ground and he wasn’t awake now because he lacked trust in his dragon to keep him in the air.

His thoughts kept returning to that afternoon and the moment he’d felt Violet fall into his shadow cloud. He had been on edge; waiting for her to appear without warning on Sgeayl’s back and make an attempt to take his flag. It had been a surprise when a body fell, uncontrolled, above him. He’d recognised the size and shape of her in an instance and acted on instinct at the spike of adrenaline he had felt. Had something happened to her? Was she hurt? 

Then when he’d held her against him, just as he had been about to drop the shadows, he’d felt her fingers on his flight jacked and her smile in the darkness. He had realized she’d done it on purpose.

He’d been mad. Absolutely furious with her, for doing something so stupid and putting herself in a dangerous position, and for what, to win a game? If she took that kind of risk to win a game, what would she do in a real battle where the stakes were so much higher?

It hadn't been until later, when he'd held her in his arms and felt himself relax, that Xaden had realized he was angry because he had been scared. But, being scared of losing Violence was not something Xaden was supposed to feel. It wasn’t a part of his plan.

‘Not even you can control your emotions.’ Said Sgeayl. ‘You are human after all. You like to imagine you are a cold, calculating creature without feeling; that grief has made you into a monster incapable of tenderness. But it isn’t true.’

Xaden didn’t respond to that, instead he pulled his shield up around his thoughts.

When they landed by the lake outside Athebyne it was still dark. 

‘Pleasant flight?’ asked Garrick, stretching and rubbing his face after he dismounted.

‘Just wonderful.’ Quipped Xaden. ‘You really miss out by sleeping through it, you know.’

Bodhi slid down Cuir’s leg and landed, yawed widely and soldered his pack.

‘But if I stayed awake, who would watch while you two get your beauty sleep?’ Asked Garrick.

Xaden was tempted to reach out and take the pack from the younger man to carry with his own, but he knew his cousin would see it as being babied and resent it. Instead he settled for briefly resting his hand on Bodhi’s shoulder as he walked with him to the cluster of rocks where they usually found shelter.

Garric got out a travel kettle and walked to the lake to fill it while Xaden watched Bodhi weave a heating rune to boil the water without a fire. When the rune was glowing gently on a flat rock Bodhi looked up questioningly at Xaden who checked his work and gave him a nod and a smile.

The three of them settled into the shelter of the rocks and waited for the hot drink. Xaden leaned back and looked up at the stars. 

‘I’m going to miss this.’ Said Garrick, echoing Xaden’s thoughts.

It was a bit of a pain to fly so far and back in a single weekend, but it was pleasant to spend time away from Basgaith’s walls together. There was a peaceful domesticity to their routine that almost felt like home. Xaden would miss it too.

‘We should decide on who we are going to bring in to help next year.’ Garrick said. ‘One person can’t do all the imbuing.’

‘No.’ Xaden agreed. It was also too much to ask of Bodhi to steal all of the daggers himself, and a terrible point of vulnerability in their operation for him to make the delivery alone.

‘Imogen seems like a natural choice.’ Garrick suggested.

Xaden and Bodhi both nodded.

‘Liam too?’ Said Xaden. 

Bodhi agreed with that. 

‘You don’t want to bring in another first year?’ Asked Garrick.

‘The next year's succession won’t be up to us.’ Xaden frowned. ‘Better to ask Liam who he wants to work with.’

There was silence for a moment before the kettle started to boil. 

‘Have you decided where you will want to take a post next year?’ Bodhi asked Xaden, passing him a mug.

‘No,’ Xaden sighed, wrapping his fingers gratefully around the hot drink. ‘Command will probably want to put me in the Esben Mountains, I wouldn’t object to being so far south.’ closer to Tyrrendor.

‘I won’t lie and say having you on the front wouldn’t have advantages,’ Bodhi said, ‘But I would understand if you want to take a midland posting, even if it means I have to keep making this flight next year.’

‘Why would I want to take a midland post?’ Xaden asked, and too late realized why his cousin had said that.

Bodhi gave him a funny look. ‘To visit Violet.’

‘She’s not expecting me to come visit her when I have leave next year.’ He said bitterly and took a long drink from his mug.

‘And if she’s not, who’s fault is that?’ Asked Garrick.

Xaden glared at his friend who just shrugged his shoulders.

‘Xaden, why don’t you want to tell Violet what’s really happening?’ asked Bodhi thoughtfully.

‘That’s a good question.’ Agreed Garrick. ‘If you are not planning on telling her why are you training her to fight Vennin?’

‘I’m not training her specifically to fight Vennin.’ Xaden countered.

‘But why don’t you want to tell her?’ Pressed Bodhi. ‘You can say it’s casual between you two all you want but I know you Xaden, I know how you feel about her.’

Well, though Xaden bitterly, that would make one of them. 

‘Aetos -’ Xaden started.

Garrick sighed loudly. ‘Liam says Aetos lost her trust when Mavis was executed.’

‘But his signet,’ Xaden argued. ‘He doesn't need her to trust him to steal her memories.’

‘That isn’t insurmountable.’ Bodhi argued. ‘She can learn to shield better.’

Xaden didn’t respond for a long time, sifting through his thoughts and deciding how much to say.

‘Do you really think she wouldn’t be on our side, if she knew?’ Asked Garrick finally.

Xaden shook his head. ‘I don’t know how she would react.’

‘If she takes it badly, there is always Imogen.’ Said Garrick, referring of course to Imogen’s ability to wipe recent memories.

Xaden couldn’t hide a wince. The thought turned his stomach, of having someone meddle with Violence’s mind like that. 

The truth was, Xaden wasn’t afraid of Violet telling anyone, he didn’t think she would deliberately do something that would mean death for him and Liam. But kind and gentle as she was she had been raised her entire life on her parent’s lies. If he told her and she did side with her mother, with Navarre, it wouldn’t matter if Imogen wiped her memory or not; Xaden would have lost her all the same.

………………………….

‘Good morning Violet!’ Says Ridoc. His face is bright and he’s almost bouncing out of his seat as I place my tray across from him.

‘How much coffee have you had Ridoc?’ I laugh. ‘You know it won’t help Aotrom fly faster right?’

Ridoc grins at me and laughs. ‘Not that much, Vi. I’m just really excited for this morning.’

It’s the first day of Squad Battle. This week all cadets are facing off within their years at a series of challenges. This morning, first years will be heading to the flight field to tackle the sky gauntlet, second years are sparring and third years have Carr’s wielding challenge. Each day we rotate; tomorrow the second year will fly while we wield. Points and places are awarded with-in year groups, but bonus points can be won by out performing senior year cadets. I know Cienna is hopeful Liam, for example, will still be in the running to face senior years in the final sparring challenge on Thursday. The final challenge on Friday has been set by the Wingleaders and it is unknown.

I asked Xaden if he would tell me what it is and he teasingly accused me of seeking to corrupt his professional integrity.

As I take my seat I notice there is a defiant energy amongst the squad. Rhiannon keeps smiling more than normal and Liam is watching the clock. I’m not dreading today, but I guess I am not as keen as everyone else to have a break from our normal routine.

Liam has finished his breakfast quickly and leaves the table while I am still half way through my own. His eyes flick to me with something like nerves as he waves goodbye. 

‘What’s going on?’ I ask Rhiannon.

‘Nothing.’ She says quickly with wide eyed innocence. 

I narrow my eyes at her over my mug.

Liam rejoins us for formation and, when we were dismissed, we all made our way to the flight field together. 

As we reach our dragons Ridoc and Sawyer who were walking before me part and turn to see my reaction.

‘Ta - da!’ saysRidoc, holding his arm out.

Andarna stands proudly at Deigh’s right side, who sits at the head of our dragons’ small formation. Matte bands of black leather cross her glossy scales. They loop around the base of her neck, cross over her front and loop up behind her wings joints.

‘What do you think?’ Preens Andarna. ‘I think they have done a very fine job.’

I gape at her and walk further forward. ‘Is it a saddle?’

I can see leather loops attached at various points, and metal handles beside her pommel scales, but as far as I can see from here, the contraption lacks a seat like a saddle would have.

‘Not exactly,’ Says Andarna. ‘It’s external support for your grip.’

She echoed Xaden’s words from two weeks ago and I meet her eye suspiciously.

‘Hop up, Vi. See how the fit is.’ Encourages Liam.

I turn to face him and the others. ‘Did you all make this?’ I ask.

They gave me enthusiastic nods.

‘Liam designed it.’ Says Rhiannon.

‘Rhiannon helped.’ Liam blushes.

‘I did the metal work.’ Says Sawyer.

‘And I looked good while they did it.’ says Ridoc. I laugh and he leans forward to whisper in my ear. ‘Riorson helped too.’

I stare at him and he winks at me.

‘Thank you all,’ I say sadly, ‘But surely I can’t use it.’

‘Why not Vi?’ Asks Rhiannon.

‘Well, it’s not fair is it?’ I say.

They all look at me and each other disbelievingly.

‘There is absolutely nothing in the codex against it, Violet.’ Says Liam.

‘It’s actually crazy no one has thought of it before.’ Ridoc adds.

‘Just try it.’ asks Liam, ‘If you really don’t want to use it for squad battle, allright, but please try it out. We all worked really hard on it.’

I look at his pleading face and decide to humor them. I wield up to Andarna’s back and settle into the dip in front of her wings. I look at the handholds infront of me, they seem simple enough.

‘How does this work?’ I ask looking down and the loops by my legs.

Liam steps forward, right up to Andarna’s side, and shows me. ‘Like this, slip you leg through this one and rest your boot here. It’s designed to help hold you against vertical force.’

I slip my leg through, and then do the same on the other side. It’s a little bit of an odd angle to move my leg in, but it’s comfortable when my leg is through.

‘It is our first prototype so let us know if we need to make changes.’ Rhiannon says.

‘Tairn says the next one will need to be mostly metal,’ says Andarna.

‘Why?’

‘Leather is too flammable.’

I think that’s a distinctly odd thing to say, but before I can respond Andarna has leapt forward and launched herself into the air. 

I lean forward and grab the new handholds. I have to admit they are in a much better position for me and easier to grip than Andarna’s scales. Andarna dips and soars over the flightfield, and I look down at the other first years with their dragons. 

‘Here we go.’ Warns Andarna and she banks steeply. 

I feel the pressure of the leather around my legs and I hold on tight with my hands, but I don’t slip. I laugh with delight as Andarna levels out. I can feel her happiness and she laughs too.

Then Andarna pulls into what I think at first is a steep climb, but I quickly realize is a loop. My heart is in my throat in a way I haven’t experienced since our first flight. And I think it might beat out of my chest as she dives in a tight corkscrew down to the ground. 

My smile is wide and I’m shaking with the thrill of the flight as we land. 

There is a small crowd now with my squad, Professor Kaori is amongst them and he beams up at me on Andarna’s back. Beside him Xaden is standing with the ledger, ready to help record times. Xaden has his impassive Wingleader face on until he sees my face and then it cracks for just a moment and reflects my joy.

I slip form Andarna’s back and slide down onto the ground. 

‘Thank you, it’s perfect.’ I say and I look from Liam and Sawyer across to Ridock and Rhiannon. 

‘Well Cadet Sorrengail, I hope that’s a preview of what we can expect from you and Andarna on the course.’ Says Kaori.

‘Professor there is no reason she can’t compete using the harness, is there?’ Asks Sawyer.

‘No, there isn’t.’ Agrees Kaori. ‘In fact the reason we don't use saddles or such is because dragons generally won’t put up with them, not because humans have a rule against it. I would say it’s entirely Andarna’s choice if she will allow her rider to use it.’

I must have a look on my face that reads as embarrassment, or reluctance, because Professor Kaori gives me a thoughtful look.

‘Did you know, Lyra of Morraine rode using a saddle?’ Kaori asks me.

I shake my head mutely. 

‘It’s true. We have her personal journal here in the Archives at Basgaith. I have read it, a translation of course, she wrote about how her dragon Aisling, thought it was a sensible solution to help her stay seated in battle.’

‘That’s settled then. It stays.’ Says Andarna firmly.

‘What do you think Vi, if a saddle is good enough for Lyra the First, is our harness good enough for Violet?’ Rhiannon asks pointedly. 

‘Allright, I’ll use it.’ I concede.

There is a new joy and a new freedom for me in flying now. Andarna and I race through the course of the sky gauntlet like a flash of lightning. I realize, as I lean into the turns with her and hold on through the climbs, how much she has been holding back. I’m glad I agreed to the harness now.

When we pass over Professor Kaori and Xaden where they stand at the finish they are an indistinct blur below. We set a record time late in the morning that is still unbeaten at the end of the day.

Chapter Text

The sound of wind rushing past drowned out any other sound and the stars overhead blurred as Garrick used his signet to manipulate the distance between Basgiath and Athebyne. The sensation of having the world move around him made Xaden feel slightly ill and he knew Bodhi closed his eyes when they traveled this way.

When the feeling stopped Xaden leaned forward and looked through the darkness around him to the landscape below and tried to identify features and landmarks he knew. With no moon it was too dark for him to see the lake below them.

‘You can not see the lake because we are twenty miles west.’ Sgeayl said with an air of irritation. 

Xaden sat back against Sgeayl’s spine and signed. At least Garrick hadn’t overshot the border this time. Twenty miles out was far from his best, however. 

Xaden resigned himself to a little more air time alone in the night sky with his own thoughts, which despite his best efforts kept returning to that afternoon and the moment he’d felt Violet fall into his shadow cloud. He had been on edge; waiting for her to appear without warning on Sgeayl’s back and make an attempt to take his flag. It had been a surprise when a body fell, uncontrolled, above him. He’d recognised the size and shape of her in an instance and acted on instinct at the spike of adrenaline he had felt. Had something happened to her? Was she hurt? 

Then when he’d held her against him, just as he had been about to drop the shadows, he’d felt her fingers on his flight jacked and her smile in the darkness. He had realized she’d done it on purpose.

He’d been mad. Absolutely furious with her, for doing something so stupid and putting herself in a dangerous position, and for what, to win a game? If she took that kind of risk to win a game, what would she do in a real battle where the stakes were so much higher?

It hadn't been until later, when he'd held her in his arms and felt himself relax, that Xaden had realized he was angry because he had been scared. But, being scared of losing Violence was not something Xaden was supposed to feel. It wasn’t a part of his plan.

‘Not even you can control your emotions.’ Said Sgeayl. ‘You are human after all. You like to imagine you are a cold, calculating creature without feeling; that grief has made you into a monster incapable of tenderness, but it isn’t true.’

Xaden didn’t respond to that, instead he pulled his shield up around his thoughts.

When they landed by the lake outside Athebyne it was late. They had waited until after curfew to leave the quadrant and with the extra flight time it was now deep into the night, maybe an hour before they could expect Syrena and her drift to arrive. 

‘I thought you had been working on your aim.’ Xaden said to Garrick as he dismounted beside him. ‘That was what, twenty miles off tonight? ’

‘It’s not like I’m getting a lot of practice outside these trips.’ Garrick responded. ‘If you don’t appreciate my work I’m tempted to leave you and Sgeayl to fly yourselves next time, or you can find another distance wielder to take you.’

And Xaden felt a pang of guilt. His friend’s tone was joking, but he knew there was a grain of resentment under it all. Violet was becoming formidable; excelling with her gift exactly where Garrick struggled, and Xaden trained openly with her while Garrick had to practice in secret.

Bodhi slid down Cuir’s leg and landed, yawed widely and shouldered his pack.

Xaden was tempted to reach out and take the pack from the younger man to carry with his own, but he knew his cousin would see it as being babied and resent it. Instead he settled for briefly resting his hand on Bodhi’s shoulder as he walked with him to the cluster of rocks where they usually found shelter.

Garric got out a travel kettle and walked to the lake to fill it while Xaden watched Bodhi weave a heating rune to boil the water without a fire. When the rune was glowing gently on a flat rock Bodhi looked up questioningly at Xaden who checked his work and gave him a nod and a smile.

The three of them settled into the shelter of the rocks and waited for the hot drink. Xaden leaned back and looked up at the stars. 

‘I’m going to miss this.’ Said Garrick, echoing Xaden’s thoughts.

It was pleasant to spend time away from Basgaith’s walls together. There was a peaceful domesticity to their routine that almost felt like home. Xaden would miss it too.

‘We should decide on who we are going to bring in to help next year.’ Garrick said. ‘One person can’t do all the imbuing.’

‘No.’ Xaden agreed. It was also too much to ask of Bodhi to steal all of the daggers himself, and a terrible point of vulnerability in their operation for him to make the delivery alone, flying as he would have to for an entire day.

‘Imogen seems like a natural choice.’ Garrick suggested.

Xaden and Bodhi both nodded.

‘Liam too?’ Said Xaden. 

Bodhi agreed with that. 

‘You don’t want to bring in another first year?’ Asked Garrick. ‘One who can say, oh I don’t know - distance wield?’
‘We have discussed this.’ Xaden frowned, ‘The answer hasn’t changed.’

‘You are being a stubborn ass.’ Garrick noted. ‘Are you really going to leave Bodhi and the others making day-long round trips in the limited free time they have next year?’

‘It doesn't matter, Violet can’t take others when she wields.’ Xaden countered, his tone impassive; aiming for finality. But Garrick was one of the people that tone didn’t work on.

‘Neither could I, only months after manifesting.’ Garrick said exasperated.

The two friends held gazes across the makeshift camp. Neither backed down and it was tense for a moment before the kettle started to boil. 

‘Have you decided where you will want to take a post next year?’ Bodhi asked Xaden, making an obvious bid for a change of topic and passing him a mug.

‘No,’ Xaden sighed, wrapping his fingers gratefully around the hot drink. ‘Command will probably want to put me in the Esben Mountains, I wouldn’t object to being so far south.’ closer to Tyrrendor.

‘I won’t lie and say having you on the front wouldn’t have advantages,’ Bodhi said, ‘But I would understand if you want to take a midland posting, even if it means I have to fly out here next year.’

‘Why would I want to take a midland post?’ Xaden asked, and too late realized why his cousin had said that.

Bodhi gave him a funny look. ‘To visit Violet.’

‘She’s not expecting me to come visit her when I have leave next year.’ He said bitterly and took a long drink from his mug.

‘And if she’s not, who’s fault is that?’ Asked Garrick.

Xaden glared at his friend who just shrugged his shoulders.

‘Xaden, why don’t you want to tell Violet what’s really happening?’ asked Bodhi thoughtfully.

‘That’s a good question.’ Agreed Garrick. ‘If you are not planning on telling her why are you training her to fight Vennin?’

‘I’m not training her specifically to fight Vennin.’ Xaden countered.

‘But why don’t you want to tell her?’ Pressed Bodhi. ‘You can say it’s casual between you two all you want but I know you Xaden, I know how you feel about her.’

Well, though Xaden bitterly, that would make one of them. 

‘Aetos -’ Xaden started.

Garrick sighed loudly. ‘Liam says Aetos lost her trust when Mavis was executed.’

‘But his signet,’ Xaden argued. ‘He doesn't need her to trust him to steal her memories.’

‘That isn’t insurmountable.’ Bodhi argued. ‘She can learn to shield better.’

Xaden didn’t respond for a long time, sifting through his thoughts and deciding how much to say.

‘Do you really think she wouldn’t be on our side, if she knew?’ Asked Garrick finally.

Xaden shook his head. ‘I don’t know how she would react.’

‘If she takes it badly, there is always Imogen.’ Said Garrick, referring of course to Imogen’s ability to wipe recent memories.

Xaden couldn’t hide a wince. The thought turned his stomach, of having someone meddle with Violence’s mind like that. 

The truth was, Xaden wasn’t afraid of Violet telling anyone, he didn’t think she would deliberately do something that would mean death for him and Liam. But kind and gentle as she was, she had been raised her entire life on her parent’s lies. If he told her and she did side with her mother, with Navarre, it wouldn’t matter if Imogen wiped her memory or not; Xaden would have lost her all the same.

Chapter Text

‘Thank you.’ I whisper.

‘What for?’ whispers Xaden. ‘You did all the work.’

I smack him lightly on the shoulder and I feel him laugh.

We are a boneless, breathless tangle of sticky limbs on the floor of my room. We never made it to the bed after pulling each other's clothes off.

‘Not for that, for helping my squadmates with the saddle.’ I say.

‘I thought we were calling it a harness.’ Says Xaden.

‘Whatever we are calling it, thank you.’ I prop my head up to look at him and smile.

‘I didn’t do very much, beyond helping them get supplies. They wanted to do it.’

‘It was your idea.’ I say. 

Xaden shrugs. ‘Maybe, but Liam and Rhiannon figured most of how it should work.’

‘Well I’m still thanking you.’ I say and put my head back down. ‘Thank you.’

‘You are welcome.’ says Xaden gently.

…………………………….

When Thursday morning, the fourth day of Squad Battle, dawns I attend breakfast with a new patch on the shoulder of my jacket; a pair of silver dragon wings denoting me as having the fastest time on the sky gauntlet in my year. A Cadet from third year, First Wing and her Green did beat our time. But as I pointed out to Andarna that just gives us something to work towards for next year.

Liam and Heaton both placed in their year's ranking for sparring, so despite our squads respectable but not brilliant performance in wielding we are going into the fourth day as the squad to beat.

Today is the second last challenge. The top cadets from each year will face off on the mat to determine overall rankings. The last round of the day comes down to Liam and a cadet from Second Wing. When the other taps out Liam has secured himself not only first place for our year, but first place overall. I'm one of the first on the mat, hugging him in congratulations despite his objection that he is a sweaty mess.

..............................

‘First thing, who wants to be in command.’ asks Imogen with her hands on her hips. When Panchek announced the final task would be held this evening she had quickly herded the squad into the weights room.

‘Liam?’ suggests Quinn.

He looks up where he sits at my side, a little surprised at the nomination. 

‘Yes, Liam!’ I second, and others throw their support behind mine and Quinn’s.

He stands and turns to look at Emery and Heaton, our third years, eyebrows raised. When neither of them object and Heaton nods their head, Liam accepts. Imogen pats him on the shoulder as he takes her place at the front of the squad.

‘Alright.’ Says Laim thoughtfully. ‘Our aim is to steal the one thing that would be most advantageous to the war effort, from within the walls of Basgaith, and I think that thing is information.’

‘Not a weapon of some kind?’ Asks Ridoc. ‘Like a crossbolt?’

Liam shakes his head. ‘No, Information is power. Access to it and the control of it is what wins wars.’

His words resonate with me, and I’m suddenly even more glad we picked him to lead.

‘What kind of information are you thinking?’ Asks Rhiannon. 

‘Anything that would give the enemy an advantage.’ Liam shrugs. ‘Something that would help them identify a weakness, or better turn a strength into a weakness.’

‘So information on Dragons then?’ Asks Ridoc, frowning. ‘Our Dragons are our greatest strength,’

‘No they are not dummy,’ Says Imogen. ‘Navarre’s greatest strength is the wards.’

She’s right, it is a common theme in Battle Brief. Attacks along the border are always accompanied by the wards failing in that area, which gives me an idea.

‘If only it wasn’t after seven, or we could break into the Archive.’ I say.

‘Why can’t we?’ Asks Rhiannon.

‘The door locks and the wards activate every night at seven.’ I explain.

‘If you can wield through walls, you can probably wield through wards.’ Emery points out.

I shake my head.  

‘Maybe I could but these wards are different. Not only is the door impenetrable, no-one can survive inside over night.’ My squad mates continue to look at me puzzled, so I elaborate. ‘The wards remove the breathable air from the Archive. It’s both fire control and pest prevention, so anyone trapped in there overnight suffocates to death.’

‘But Vi!  you wouldn’t be trapped.’ Says Rhiannon excitedly, grabbing my arm.

I turn to her and for a moment I am confused before I realize what she means. 

‘Oh, of course!  If you all wait close by so I’m wielding a short distance, I could go backwards and forwards when I run out of air.’ I say. It would be a lot of wielding, but I wield short distances almost constantly when I spar with Xaden.

‘You are fit, you can probably hold your breath for a minute or two at a time. And we have three hours.’ agrees Heaton

‘So what do you want to steal from the Archive?’ Liam asks, smiling.

‘Well, the other day Kaori told me about the journal of Lyra the First and how he has read a translation from the Archive.’ I say, ‘The first riders are the ones that created the wards around Navarre, so It’s possible her journal would contain a first hand account of the creation of the wards.’

‘Violet that’s brilliant.’ Says Liam.

I smile back at him.

‘Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a problem with your plan.’ Says Emery.

We all turn to look at the third year who is shaking his head. 

‘I understand your reasoning, but there is no way a book just sitting out on the Archive’s shelves contains instructions for building, or breaking, Navarre’s wards.’ Emery explains sadly. ‘In third year we study wards and the knowledge of how Navarre’s wards were made has been lost. Our professors have no idea how the first six riders did it.’

This news dashes all of the enthusiasm in the room.

‘Dam, I really thought we were onto a winner.’ Liam says.

Emery shrugs. ‘Sorrengail could steal something else from the Archive.’

I think. There are undoubtedly other books in the Archive that would have valuable information, but sifting through them to identify one would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. 

Of course, books aren’t the only thing in the archive.

‘Yeah,’ I smile, ‘I think I can.’

Fifteen minutes later we have stolen the library cart and we are all grouped together in an unused office near the Archive door. Quinn has settled herself in a chair and her projection has started walking through the walls.

‘Are you ready?’ Liam asks me. 

I nod. I know where I’m going and I know what I’m looking for. 

‘Don’t push yourself too far.’ Liam warns. ‘Make sure you come back when you need to.’

‘I will.’ I promise. I clutch the satchel bag on my shoulder and take a deep breath. 

The archives are dark, except for moonlight coming down through a narrow shaft in the center of the roof. As I start to walk, mage lights come on and I see Quinn trying to lean against one of the tables.

‘Where are we starting?’ Quinn signs to me. Luckily she knows how to sign too, so we can communicate this way, seeing as how she can't speak in this form and I want to save my breath.

‘Here’ I sign, leading her to a door behind the desk where the scribe cadet on duty usually sits. This is where missives and dispatches for professors come from so I'm guessing it will have what we are after.

The door behind the desk is locked, but that doesn't stop either of us. 

We walk down a corridor, finding a series of offices and a few rooms full of books. Some are in need of repair or resorting, or both, but they are not what we are after. At the end of the corridor is a large room that looks more promising because it is locked.

I wave to Quinn, letting her know I am going for a breath and Wield back.

‘Minute and a 20.’ says Heaton looking up from a stop watch. ‘Well done Sorrengail.’

‘Any news?’ Asks Liam.

I shake my head letting out my first breath and fill my lungs again. 

‘We are inside, and we are exploring.’ I tell him and others.

I wield back to the place I left in the corridor, place my hands on the door and wield to the other side.

When the mage lights come on inside the room we see it has a large circular table in the middle. On one side is a bookshelf full of leather bound volumes and on the other the wall is covered in pigeon holes full of letters. At the back of the room is another door. On the circular table sit full satchels neatly arranged.

When I open one I see they are full of letters, tied in bundles. These must be the correspondence from Basgaith that is going out tomorrow to postings, cities and villages all over Navarre. 

‘This is it,’ I sign to Quinn and grin, ‘This is what we want.’

Quinn signs that she will start reading the spines of the books while I take the satchels of letters back to the others.

I wield back to the squad and take a breath of air.

‘I think we found the room where Basgaith's mail is sorted.’ I tell them.

‘Excellent.’ says Laim.

‘There are a few of these satchels.’ I say holding up the full bag. ‘They are full of letters, packaged like they are going out tomorrow. If I bring back everything can you look through them and see if there is anything valuable?’ I ask.

Liam nods. ‘We can go through it. Find what is most impressive. Are you okay to go back?’

‘Yeah I’m fine.’ I smile.

Back in the Archives Quinn is reading the spines of the books, she tells me she’ll let me know if anything seems interesting. I grab the next of the satchels full of mail. Over the next few minutes I bring all of the bags out, and soon the rest of the squad is sitting around the room going through bundles sorting mail into piles that are ‘interesting’ and ‘not interesting’. Most of the mail looks like it is personal correspondence between members of the army and their families, and we decide we want to focus on anything official that we can find.

I turn my attention to the wall of pigeon holes. I see there are names in alphabetical order and realize this is all incoming mail. I grab my empty satchel with excitement and start filling it with letters and scrolls addressed to command. Letters for my mother, Commandant Panchek, Colonel Aetos, Colonel Markham and more. 

I’m running out of breath before I’m done and I wield back to empty my partly filled satchel. When I return I finish taking letters from the pigeon holes that have names of members of command on them, but Quinn waves a hand in front of my face making me jump.

‘I’ve found something.’ She signs. 

She leads me back across the room and points to a series of the books that have lettering reading ‘troop deployment’ then the four quadrants and the year. 

‘Great!.’ I sign. I grab the four heavy tomes and wield to the meeting room where the others are waiting.

I drop the books on the desk and take off my satchel.

‘What are these?’ Asks Imogen .

‘Records of troop movements.’ I grin.

‘Are these all letters for command too?’ Liam asks, looking in the satchel.

‘Do you think we have enough to win?’ I ask.

‘Yeah probably.’ says Liam faintly, holding up a letter to my mother that has General Melgren’s name on the back and ‘top secret’ written across the front.

‘We can’t open them, we would get into a lot of trouble.’ I warn.

Liam agrees and puts the letter into a pile with others in the center of the desk. 

‘You may as well bring Quinn back, and help us sort through this.’ He gestures to where everyone else is reading addressees and deciding if letters are personal or official. 

‘Liam says head back.’ I sign to Quinn when I return. ‘We are going to help sort through what we have to present the most impressive things.’

Quinn nods but then she gestures and points to something on the floor behind me. ‘You dropped one.’ she signs.

I don’t have my satchel now so I pick up the letter and tuck it into the pocket of my jacket.

‘What do you think is through there?’ Quinn asks, pointing at the door we haven't explored.

I shrug. ‘Have you gone through?’

‘Yes, but mage lights don’t come on for me so it’s dark’

I wield in and Quinn follows behind me. The room is a puzzle. Nothing seems to be stored here, there are only a series of desks with ink pots and quills. Like some kind of examination hall but in a really strange location. 

Quinn and I shrug at each other and we return to the others.

We walk into the circular turret room where Battle Brief is held behind Liam who is pushing the library trolley. It had had a squeaky wheel when we stole it earlier, but I notice it’s been mysteriously repaired while I was raiding the mail room. Ridoc got a black sheet to drape over the piles of letters and books, to pull off latter with ‘dramatic flourish’ when it’s time to present.

When we step up onto the stage LIam and Heaton lift the trolley between them and Ridoc whips off the sheet. 

Everyone stares at us for a few moments and there are a few laughs. 

Liam clears his throat. ‘We think  the most valuable thing our enemy could steal from Basgaith is information. And that’s why we have stolen every piece of correspondence that has passed through Basgaith in the last day.’

Other cadets begin to mutter.

‘This includes communications between command as well as reports from the front lines.’ Liam continues.

‘Also,’ I step up beside him and lift one of the leather tomes. ‘A record of all troop movements for riders, infantry, scribe and healers covering the last four months.’

I look at Markham and I see his eyes widen in shock as he recognises the book, this one detailing where all riders are deployed.

‘But that was in the Archive!’ Markham yells. 

His words validate the rest of our claim and the rest of the instructors look up at us in shock. Markham and Devara hurry towards the stage, keen to relieve us of our treasures, and the other cadets are talking loudly now.

‘How? How did you do this?’ Demands Pancheck, his face pale with shock. ‘The Archive is closed, sealed airtight. No Cadet, no ordinary rider for that matter, should be able to break in. ’

I shrug a shoulder casually and allow Markham to take the heavy book I am holding out of my hands. Then I turn back to Pancheck.

‘It takes a little more than wards to keep me out.’ I say flippantly. I look up over the shocked and stunned faces of the instructors, past the other squads whom I know we have soundly beaten and seek out a face at the back of the room.

Xaden is standing at the back of the hall, gazing down at me with a smile. I don’t think he’s even trying to hide the admiration on his face while everyone’s attention is on me. Xaden puts his hand over his chest and inclines his torso in a courtly bow.

And I find I don’t care what the ruling is, if I have allowed us to hold on to our lead and won us the glory of going to the front or not. That look on Xaden’s face is the only prize I want.

.............................................

After dinner I slip away from my squad as quickly as I can. They are jubilant, and rightfully so, and want to celebrate properly. But as much as I love them I don’t want to stay up into the small hours of the morning drinking with them. Not tonight.

I’ve felt Xaden’s eyes on me all through dinner. Whenever I looked up he was watching me, only paying half a mind to his own food. I could read the look in his eye like an open book, and I am sure the blush on my cheeks, my bitten lip and half hidden smile were all the answer he needed to his single raised eyebrow.

The hardest part is not running, or wielding away when I stand from the table and wish everyone a good night. Objections are made, and I find myself promising Quinn we will find time to have a drink together soon.

Finally, I am able to make my escape and the door of my room closes behind me. I hope I don’t have to wait long. I take a seat at my desk to undo my coronet braid and take up my brush to run through my hair, taming it into a smooth, shiny curtain while I wait. 

I don’t undress, although the thought of lying naked on the bed waiting for Xaden is fun. I know he likes the foreplay of undressing and disarming each other, and he makes an art of it. I can’t help but wiggle a little on my chair in anticipation, and something crinkles in my jacket.

Putting the brush down I reach into my pocket. I pull out the letter and stare. I had thought we had given them all back, I had solemnly promised Devera all the letters I had stolen were on the trolley.

I had forgotten I had put one in my pocket. It’s addressed to Colonel Aetos and it’s marked classified. 

I will return it to Devera tomorrow, I decide. Explain the mistake and beg her forgiveness.

Opening the top draw of my desk I drop the letter in and then close it, just as Xaden knocks on my door.

I jump to my feet and pull the door open. Xaden is standing in the corridor, smiling at me and he happily complies as I pull him in by his jacket and pull him down into a kiss.

Xaden smiles against my mouth and parts his lips to brush his tongue against mine. I sigh as he wraps his arms around me, scooping me off my feet and just holding me against him. And everything is exactly the way it should be for a moment. I want nothing, but this kiss and this embrace.

‘You are incredible.’ Xaden whispers when eventually he pulls back.

‘And you don’t need to stop kissing me to tell me that.’ I pout.

‘Yes I do.’ Xaden laughs, and he sweeps me up to sit me on my desk and stands between my knees. ‘Because I need you to know, just-’ he kisses my lips  ‘How incredible-’ kisses my neck ‘I think you are.’ 

‘Okay,’ I murmur.

Xaden kisses me deeply as he lifts his hands to start unbuttoning my jacked. I toss my hair out of the way over my shoulders.

‘You see why I couldn’t give you a hint now?’ Xaden murmurs against my lips.

I nodd mutely.

‘What would you have done, given a week to prepare, if you robbed the archives with only three hours?’ He asks. My jacket is eased off my shoulders and Xaden has started slipping my daggers out of my vest, one by one, and placing them behind me.

‘Definitely done more research.’ I say.

He meets my eye and smirks, eyebrow raised.

‘On what to steal.’ I blush.

‘I was worried you would fly to Calldry and kidnap Tauri’s eldests.’ Xaden says.

I have to laugh at the thought. ‘I don’t think Halden would have come willingly.’

‘As I understand it, hostages aren’t usually willing Violet.’ Xaden laughs.

I grab his jacket and pull him into a kiss, so he stops laughing. 

‘I wanted to steal information about the wards.’ I say as Xaden returns his mouth to my neck. ‘I’m sure there is something on Navarre’s wards hidden somewhere here, even if their creation is lost knowledge. I would have found that.’

Xadens chuckle tickles my skin. ‘You would have found a way to steal the wardstone out from under Panchek’s nose.’

My brow furrows, but the words to ask him what the wardstone is are lost in a gasp as he tends to a particularly sensitive part of my neck with his lips and tongue.

Xaden reaches behind me to start unlacing my vest and I wiggle up to the edge of the desk, so he can reach of course, the fact I am now pressed against his thigh is just a bonus.

There is no more talking for a while, as Xaden lifts my vest over my head and reclaims my mouth with his while his right hand plays with my breasts through the fabric of my shirt. By the time he pulls me off the desk to undress me completely I’m moaning and writhing against his thigh.

When I’m standing naked before him and he’s still fully dressed he lifts me back up onto the edge of the desk.

‘You are still dressed.’ I protest.

‘I don’t need to be undressed yet Violet. Tonight is about you.’ he tells me, and he drops to his knees in front of me and starts kissing his way up my thigh.

‘But I like when you are undressed.’ Say breathlessly.

‘I know.’ Xaden smirks. ‘And you can undress me soon, but first you are going to come apart on my face.’ He lifts my knees up onto his shoulders and leans forward to lick long and slow up through my cunt.

I moan, leaning back on my hands and surrender to his attentions.

Xaden teases, thoroughly licking and kissing all of the skin between my thighs. Then when I’m wiggling and panting, trying to get him to lick me more where I desperately want it, he plants his lips around my clit and sets to work licking in rhythmic strokes. My legs start to shake on either side of his head and Xanden holds my hips steady and maintains his pase, until the pleasure crests within me. 

As I ride out the aftershocks he continues to lap, with gentle broad-tongued strokes until the friction is too much and I squirm away from him. All the while he looks up at me with those beautiful eyes.

‘Fuck, Violet,’ Xaden says, whiping his face on his sleeve, ‘You are so beautiful when you come, I could watch you all day.’

I laugh, more than a little breathless, as he stands and wraps his arms around me and holds me against his chest as relax against him. I press my cheek against his shoulder. All of my body feels light, like I’d float away if I didn’t have his arms to hold me.

‘I get to undress you now.’ I mummer, running my fingers over the buttons of his jacket.

‘Hmm, I remember I promised you that.’ Xaden agrees. 

He lets me undo his jacket and pull his shirt off. I run my hands all over his torso and enjoy licking my way down to his waist band when I finally slip off the desk. When I have his trousers down though he pulls me back up before I can remove his underwear and guides my hands up around his neck. 

‘Tonight is about you, Violet.’ He says again, before kissing my mouth.

I slip my hand down and swallow his gasp as I wrap my hand around his erection. 

‘So I don't get this?’ I ask playfully.

He shakes his head.

‘But what if I want it?’ I ask, biting my lip.

I’m pushing his resolve, I can see it in the way his jaw clenches and feel it as his breath hitches.

‘Violet, I'm trying to do something nice for you.’ He says, voice strained.

‘But it's very, very nice for me when you fuck me.’ I smile, stroking him gently.

‘You’ll be the death of me, Violet.’ Xaden groans and his fingers flex and twist into my hair. He presses his mouth against the top of my head and holds me to him. 

‘I want you inside me Xaden.’ I whisper into his skin. ‘I love how your mouth feels, and what you do with your hands, but I’ll be dreaming about how your cock feels inside me while I’m away at the front.’

Xaden lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks the few steps across the room to my bed. Laying me down he settles over me and holds himself up, his weight on one arm as the other pushes his underwear down.

‘This is what you want?’ he asks, voice low and rough.

‘Yes.’ I sigh. I moan in satisfaction as he presses himself into me and I wrap my arms around him to hold him close.

He rocks into me gently at first while kissing me, his tongue sweeping into my mouth in time with the rest of his body. He curls his body above mine, angling his hips to mine so he is rubbing the base of his cock against my clit with every stroke. 

Then Xaden shifts and his hand travels down to my knee, lifting my leg up over his shoulder. I throw my head back and cry out at the sensation, as he strokes faster at this new angle into me. 

I’m utterly lost in the feeling of it, eyes closed and head thrown back. I lift my hands up to brace against the head of the bed and better meet his thrusts.

‘Violet, look at me.’ Xaden pants.

My eyes fly open and Xaden holds my gaze. Holding himself up on one hand he lowers the other between us to touch me. He works his thumb in tight circle around my clit and I come apart, hard, screaming his name.

‘Oh fuck, Violet.’ He groans and grips my hips tightly, thrusting once more as his whole body tenses. 

Xaden lies down beside me, lowing my leg and gently rubbing the muscles there, helping me strech it out. Then he pulls me into his arms.

I settle my head over his heart and sigh happily listen to it pounding, beating in time with my own. 

I will definantly miss this, I think, while I am away at the front. But I remind myself that it will just be a week. And if I can't go a week without Xaden's visits I will have little chance of surviving next year.

Chapter Text

Xaden knocked gently on the door to the first year dorm room. It was early in the morning and he didn’t want to wake anyone in the rooms around it.

The door opened softly and Liam, expecting him, let him in.

Wordlessly Xaden took the wrapped bundle out from his jacket and passed it to his foster brother. 

Liam took it and unwrapped it. He looked down at the two daggers there, nodded, and re-wrapped them before burying them deep in his already packed bag.

‘Im has one too.’ Xaden said.

‘Do you think there is a chance we will need them?’ Liam asked.

‘I really hope not.’ Xaden said.

‘I promise, if something happens, I’ll get one into Violet’s hands.’ Liam stood and shouldered his pack. 

Xaden nodded and claspt the younger man on the shoulder, pulling him into a hug.

Liam and Violet should be safe at the outpost, inside the wards with their squad and senior riders present. But Venin activity had been steadily increasing and Xaden couldn’t just let them go to the edge of the wards unarmed.

................................

‘I’ve never flown this far from the Vale before, but I hear there are good goats in this part of Navarre.’ Andarna tells me.

We left Basgaith in the early morning and the sun has now gotten low on the horizon. We have been in the air all day. By my reckoning we are in northern Morraine Province, if that was the Nevis Peaks we just passed. Although I have enjoyed seeing new landscapes with Andarna I am longing to be on the ground again. 

Andarna sends gentle sympathy as she senses my physical discomfort from stiff joints and aching muscles. 

The journey to our destination will take us a day and a half of flying to make. Usually the flight can be completed in just one, but Andarna can not sustain the same speed at long distances that the larger dragons can. Not wanting to push us, Professor Devera planned for us to stop overnight at a midland post because she was concerned someone would fall out of their seat if we flew through the night. 

I know from Kaori’s lessons that Dragons will bond with different levels of intensity to their riders, and this affects how much effort a dragon will go to to protect their rider. Spending time together in the Quadrant before we are tested in battle hopefully allows us to strengthen those bonds, so they can be relied upon. However, some dragons always see us humans as interchangeable. I think of Gleann, who allowed their rider to fall to his death days after bonding and then quickly chose another. 

Having felt Andarna’s love for me I have confidence she wouldn’t let me fall to my death if I fell asleep on her back. 

We finally land in a green field outside a large rambling fortification. Looking around the pasture where my squad has dismounted under a darkening sky I can’t imagine any of my friends' dragons would allow them to fall to their deaths either. But maybe that is just because I love them. 

‘I’d catch them for you, if needed.’ Says Andarna gently. ‘But I think you are right, all of the dragons in our squad value their riders.’

I smile up at the large golden eye that is watching me unbuckle the leather harness. I have been told it was designed in a minimalistic fashion, to add as little weight as possible for Andarna to carry, but folded up it is still more than an arm-full for me to lug around.

‘I hope you have a good rest, and enjoy the very best goats Morraine has to offer.’ I wish Andarna as we part.

‘Sleep well Violet.’

I watch her fly off and turn to walk with my bulky burden into the sprawling fort with my squad.

‘I can take that for you.’ Says Liam jogging up to my side.

‘You will not.’ I say firmly, adjusting my hold. I narrow my eyes at him and try not to smile.

In the courtyard Devera has been talking to the fort's quartermaster and after they salute and part she turns to us.

‘Listen up cadets. I have your room assignment for tonight, Because they are tight on space we will be bunking in infantry quarters.’ She gives the squad a hard look. ‘Fort Movellas is a strategically important waypoint, supplying our eastern border and frequently hosting platoons traveling to the front, we are fortunate they can accommodate us at all and you will all express your gratitude.’

I hear some people shift their feet behind me, but I don’t look to see who it is.

‘Allright,’ continues Devera. ‘I will remind you all that you are not allowed outside the fort tonight. Absolutely no-one is to go into town and if I find out you have, you will be flying straight back to Basgaith tomorrow.’ 
 
We all nod our agreement to this, although I know some in the squad are disappointed. 

When we have been given directions to our rooms we all head to drop our bags off before heading to the mess hall for dinner. I’m sharing with Rhiannon, Quinn and Imogen and I walk at Rhi’s side behind the two second years. The first and second year men are allocated a room near us, so we are all following Dain who has decided to lead our little pack.

The courtyard and corridors of Fort Movellas are full of Infantry soldiers in dark blue uniforms, most with a single arrow on their collar denoting their rank as Private. We cause quite a stir, as a group of eight rider cadets, and I guess we are something of a novelty to the men and women in blue.

‘Looks like there is fun to be had without leaving the fort.’ Says Ridoc behind me. 

I personally don’t plan on having Ridoc’s type of fun here, but I smile and roll my eyes. I glance at Rhiannon, to see if she has noticed the interested looks she’s gotten. I see she’s distracted, lost in her own thoughts and wearing a small frown.

‘What’s wrong?’ I nudged her. 

‘I’ll tell you later.’ She shakes her head. 

Puzzled, I follow at her side.

We have a room with two sets of bunk beds, and Rhi and I take the side that Imogen and Quinn leave free. When our packs and my harness are neatly stowed Imogen delairs she’s in need of a wash before she eats.

I wouldn't mind joining her to find the communal washroom, but Rhiannon is giving me a look so I hang back. When we are alone I turn to her.

‘Allright, spill.’ I say.

‘If I asked you to guess where we are going Violet, where would you say?’ She asks.

‘Hmm,’ I think. ‘An outpost in the Tage mountains, on the border between Morraine Provance and Cygnisen.’

Rhiannon nods. ‘That’s where I’m from.’

‘Oh,’ 

‘Yeah.’ Rhiannon looks down at her hands in her lap. ‘I haven’t seen my sister since I left for conscription. I haven’t heard anything about her and baby, and… ’

I can see the pain on my friend's face, and the worry too. My heart goes out to her and I know, if I can find a way to make it work, I have to help her see her family.

..........................................

The next morning we are all awake early, some of us more well rested than others. Ridoc and Sawyer are mufflying yawns as they set their trays down on the table Rhiannon and I are occupying.

‘Did you two stay out late, or does Dain snore?’ snickers Rhi.

‘Both can be true.’ Says Liam as he joins us.

‘You didn’t want to have some fun last night?’ Sawyer asks us.

‘Some of us didn’t want to fly with sore heads today.’ Says Rhiannon.

I just shake my head.

‘Fair enough Vi,’ says Ridoc, leaning back in his seat. ‘If I was getting it on the regular from the hottest babe in Basgaith I would be just as smug as you.’

I stare open mouthed at Ridoc and he just winks at me.

Rhiannon snickers beside me, and so does Liam. I look at him and then at Sawyer, they both look amused but not shocked or surprised by Ridoc’s comment.

‘You told them!’ I say Rhiannon, utterly betrayed.

‘I didn’t!’ Rhiannon puts her hands up defensively. ‘They figured it out!’

‘It wasn’t hard.’ says Sawyer.

‘I’ve known about you two for ages.’ says Liam casually.

I feel my face go bright red and want to sink down into the floor.

‘So will you tell me what he’s like in bed?’ asks Ridoc excitedly, leaving towards me.

‘Oh please don’t.’ Begs Liam.

‘I’m sorry Ridoc,’ I say mustering as much dignity as I can despite the humiliation. ‘A Lady doesn’t kiss and tell.’

............................................

Our final destination is an outpost only an hour by foot from the village Rhiannon’s family live in. It’s called Montserrat. Montserrat is very different from Fort Movellas. Where Movellas was a sprawling complex built in stages and clearly added to over the years, Montserrat is one uniform square structure composed of four solid walls, containing barracks and mess, around a central court. It also has the disadvantage (if you ask my squadmates) of being alone on a rocky outcrop, with no sprawling prosperous town next door. And if you ask our dragons Montserrat has the unforgivable drawback of not being surrounded by rich green farmland like Movellas, full of plump tasty livestock.

I vastly prefer Montserrat because, as I soon discovered after walking under the portcullis, it is where my sister is stationed. 

It’s wonderful to see Mira again. She asks me to tell her everything and we find time over the first few days for me to catch her up on all that’s happened to me since I entered the Rider's quadrant. Well, almost everything. I can’t imagine my sister will take the news about my relationship with Xaden in a positive light. Although when Mira catches Rhiannon and I sneaking out and I manage to convince her to join us, I almost spill it all to her. We are sitting sipping wine at Rhiannon’s sister’s house and the words are on the tip of my tongue. I swallow them down.

It almost feels like it will kill me, keeping a secret from my sister. But I can imagine all the things she will say, how certain she will be that I can’t trust him, that I must have lost my mind, and I really, really don’t want to have that argument. 

..................................

It was still cold at Basgaith, although spring was starting to loosen winter's hold at last. Brave green shoots were emerging from the ground and the forest was coming back to life. Soon purple and white violets would carpet the forrest floor where Xaden stood.

Xaden looked up into the clear night sky and wondered where Violence was now.

He had finished the cigarette that he had come outside to smoke some time ago but he wasn't ready to go in yet. All that awaited him inside after all was his own bed and his own thoughts. Although he had sparred with Garrick earlier and felt the dull ache of physical exhaustion in his body that meant he had a chance of sleep when he did turn in, his mind wasn’t quiet.

Sgaeyl, sick of what she called his pining, was firmly shielding him out and Xaden had come out to smoke for the distraction as much as anything. It hadn't helped him stop thinking about Violence. The eaves of the forest on the riverbank was the wrong place to come if he didn't want to think about her. If he closed his eyes he could see snow falling in her hair, he could hear her laugh. 

And Xaden longed for her, in a way he hadn’t realized he would. He wanted to hold her in his arms and to see the fire of her spirit shining in her eyes. He wanted to hear her voice and to taste her kisses on his lips. It had only been a few days and Violence’s absence was like a physical ache in his chest.

Was she thinking about him? Did she miss him too? Was she awake now under the same night sky, or did she sleep soundly already? Did Violet sleep as easily away from him as she did at his side? She enjoyed the easy deep sleep of untroubled innocence. On their nights together Xaden would sometimes watch her fall into it with both wonder and envy. Then he would lie there listening to her breath, holding her a few moments longer, pretending she was really his to hold.

Violence had said she would miss him; she had said she would dream about him while she was away. But Xaden wasn’t convinced she hadn’t said it for effect, hadn’t said it to get what she wanted from him in their little power play. He didn’t think those words meant to her what they meant to him. How could they?

He dreamt about her. Not the kind of dream that came unbidden in his sleep. If he could sleep and dream of Violence he might never get out of bed again; but rather the kind of dream that was with him when he was awake. The kind of dream that distracted him and caused his friend to tease him for missing “his girl”. The kind of dream that made him hope, like a fool, for a different future for them than the one he saw before him. 

Xaden sighed, running his hand through his hair in frustration. It was undeniable, he wanted the impossible. He wanted to keep her. He wanted to promise to write her letters and ask her to keep her heart for him. He wanted, desperately, to believe she would. 

He wanted to believe that if he told her the truth, it wouldn’t change the way she felt about him.

...................................

‘Alright cadets, First question: who’s in command?’ Mira asks, looking around the room. ‘And let’s pretend I don’t have at least three years seniority on the highest ranking of you.’

‘Then I am.’ Says Dain sitting up straight.

We are sitting around the briefing table in the tower room that looks out towards the border. Half my squad and I are shadowing Mira and the other officers with her in the afternoon's reaction flight, while the other half of our squad are on patrol.

Dain starts detailing how he would approach the occupied fort in Mira’s scenario and I watch with interest. He sends Quinn and Liam to scout, forgetting he could use Mira too; with her ability to extend the wards and Liam’s farsight I’d choose them as my scouting team. 

Mira has just told us Quinn found Navarrian citizens being held captive in the dungeon.

‘You are an air-wielder right?’ Dain asks Emery. ‘So you can shape your dragon’s flames and lead them through the occupied parts of the keep, without killing civilians?’

‘Yes,’ Emery answers. ‘But I’d have to be in the keep.’

‘Then you will have to get into the keep.’ Mira says with a shrug.

‘You want me to leave my dragon and go on foot?’ Emery’s eyes widen. 

‘Why do you think we get all that hand-to-hand training?’ Mira ‘The real question is, how do we get you into the keep without getting you killed? Since I guess all of the others will be busy fighting the Gryphons that launch once the fireworks start.’

She looks around at us all.

‘Well, you better be sending Sorrengail with me.’ Says Emery to Dain. ‘To watch my back.’

Mira starts to move her dragon.

‘Oh, sorry lieutenant, I meant Cadet Sorrengail.’ Said Emery.

Mira laughs and then smiles at me, putting her hand out for the dragon figure in my hands. I use lesser magic to float it over to her.

Beside me Liam shifts and turing I see he has a thoughtful look on his face. I nudge him and raise an eyebrow. ‘What are you thinking?’ I ask.

‘I’m not sure it’s the best use of Violet’s strength, to send her into the keep.’ Liam says reluctantly.

 ‘Oh?’ Mira pauses before placing my dragon beside Emery’s. She gives Liam a less openly hostile look than she did before, but she’s not exactly encouraging his participation.

‘Violet is a great fighter, but she would be at a disadvantage in the keep,’ Liam continues. ‘Not knowing the layout to wield around and it would be harder for her to take out targets in an enclosed space than in the open. I’d definitely want her and Andarna taking out the Gryphons while the rest of us cover Emery’s entry to the keep.’

‘On their own?’ Mira raises her eyebrows.

‘They can handle it.’ Liam nods confidently. 

‘Those Gryphon riders won’t even see her coming.’ Laughs Ridoc. ‘Just like us when we played capture the flag.’

The three officers are clearly curious and seeing he has their attention Ridoc takes the opportunity to launch into an account of the training exercise.

‘I watched most of it from the ground, because Violet ‘killed’ me right away.’ He grins.

‘She got all of us, very easily.’ Quinn agrees.

‘Except Riorson.’ Emery adds.

I feel Mira’s eyes swing to me, but I suddenly find the grain of the wooden tabletop in front of me very interesting.

‘The Wingleader trains with your squad?’ Mira asks.

‘Well yeah, he designed the exercise.’ Emery tells her, puzzled.

I risk a look up at Mira who is frowning at me.

‘Didn’t Violet tell you?’ Dain asks, his eyes fixed on my face. ‘Riorson’s been personally training her since December.’

Bastard. I knew he was unhappy about how much time I spent training with Xaden, but I thought telling Mira on me would have been beneath him.

The mood in the room remains tense, until Mira wraps up the exercise and asks to speak to me in the corridor.

I glare daggers at Dain on my way out.

‘What. The. Hell. Vi.’ Mira turns to me after throwing up a sound shield. ‘What part of “stay away from Xaden Riorson” wasn’t clear to you?’

‘You are wrong about him Mira.’ I say softly.

‘Am I?’ Her eyebrows climb her forehead. ‘Please Violet, tell me in what way am I wrong about the son of a man who killed our brother, and has every reason in the world to hate our family and want revenge on our mother?’

I bite my lip and wonder where I am supposed to start.

‘Mira, I know what you're thinking but you don’t know him.’ I say pleadingly. ‘I had the same thoughts when I first met him. But Xaden isn’t who you think he is, he has actually helped me, and we have kind of become friends.’

‘He's helped you?’ Mira echoes incredulously. ‘Vi I thought you were smarter than that. Just because he's let you live so far doesn't mean he isn't going to hurt you. Are you sure he’s not just trying to get close to you to understand your weaknesses? You know there is more than one way to hurt a person, right Vi?’

‘Yes.’ I say. ‘I am sure he’s not just trying to find my weakness. He’s helped me develop my signet and taught me to use it in combat. When he saw potential in it that Carr couldn't recognise, he offered to train me.’ 

Mira shakes her head at me. ‘How well do you even know him, Violet? Do you know why kids like him are even on the parapet?’ 

I blink. I've wondered, but I don’t know why all the children of rebellion officers go through the quadrant. Mira sees my confusion and she takes a deep breath.

‘It's because of Mom.’ She says. ‘All of the kids of the traitors were going to be executed with their parents, and she offered an alternative; they could fight for their right to live in the Riders Quadrant on the condition that Xaden take personal responsibility for their loyalty.’ 

‘What?’ I ask faintly. I am not sure I can be hearing her correctly.

‘If one of them betrays Navarre, Xaden pays for it with his life. Would you make friends with the daughter of the woman who made you make that deal?’ Mira asks.

I feel vaguely sick as I stare at her. The thought that my own mother would be so cruel almost turns my stomach.

Seeing the look of horror on my face Mira nods grimly. 

‘Now do you understand?’ she asks.

But I don’t. I don’t think I understand anything, least of all why Mira thinks telling me that Xaden put his life on the line to save more than one hundred innocent children will make me think less of him. Before I can ask her though a funny staticy feeling passes over my skin and Andarna’s voice is clear in my head.

‘Violet!’

‘I’m here.’ I tell her.

‘The Wards have fallen. Quick, come to me now. We have to leave.’ Andarna says.

The door to the turret room bursts open and the other officers hurry out. Mira grabs Dain by the elbow, who is right behind them.

‘Take the other cadets and get them out. Understood?’ She barks.

Dain nods and his eyes meet mine.

‘Mira, let me come with you, I can help you.’ I say.

Mira lets Dain go and pulls me into a tight hug. 

‘No Vi. You are a first year cadet. You will be an incredible rider one day I know, but you need to leave now so that can happen. If you love me Violet, you’ll leave so I don’t have to worry about you.’

Then she’s gone, bolting down the stairs. Leaving me behind with my squad.

Chapter Text

Dain yells orders as I watch Mira leave.

A hand grabs mine and I look to see Liam, face pale and panicked, grasping it. He starts trying to pull me down the stairs behind Dain and the others but I resist him.

‘Liam, she’s my sister. I can’t just leave her.’

‘We have to go, Vi.’ He says hoarsely, his face is full of pain and I know he knows how hard this is for me. ‘We aren’t ready for this, You aren’t ready for this.’

I shake my head in denial. Wasn’t he just saying how useful my skills would be against Gryphons and their riders?

‘Violet, has Andarna ever been in a battle before?’ Liam asks me.

I taste bitter fear in my mouth and I know it’s a mix of her emotion and mine. We aren’t ready. I shake my head and take the two steps down so I am on the same level as Liam. 

He sighs in relief and pulls me along the way our squad went, but his hand remains tight around mine like he is afraid I’ll change my mind.

‘Violet?’ Andarna sends jagged, uncontrolled, bursts of terror down the bond. She wants me there with her already.

‘I’m on my way dear one.’ I promise.

When we reach the corridor where our squad are grabbing their packs Dain turns to us.

‘There you are! Hurry up, Cath says a drift of Gryphons is fifteen minutes away!’ Dain scolds.

I feel Liam’s hand slacken and look to see relief cross his face. He must have thought they were on top of us already.

Dropping Liam’s hand I run into my room and grab my pack and the harness. Then I glance at Rhiannon’s pack beside her bed. I can’t possibly take both and for a moment I freeze. But then Dain is there, taking Rhiannon’s pack and shouldering it with his own. Then he takes the harness from me and is shoving it into Liam’s arms. 

‘We won’t have time for you to put it on Andarna. Just go, wield to your dragon now Violet.’ Dain says firmly. ‘Get yourself out of here, Mira isn’t the only one who will kill me if anything happens to you.’

I look at Liam behind him, who nods in agreement with Dain, and then I distance wield to Andarna.

…………………..

‘Andarna and her rider return.’

Xaden looked up from the page where he had been diligently taking notes in third year physics. He glances out the window where the afternoon sun is shining on the mountains as he talks to his dragon.

‘Is something wrong?’ It was several days early. Violence and her squad should be making the first leg of their flight in four days time.

‘Andarna’s rider is unhurt. However, she is in a state of emotional distress.’

That was enough for Xaden. He closed his notebook and collected his things to leave. 

‘Is someone else hurt?’ he asked. His thoughts were instantly of Liam.

‘None in the flight are injured. The distress is for the girl's sister.’ 

As Xaden stood the Professor gave him a look but didn't say anything or try to stop him. Xaden knew the trick; do most things with enough confidence and no one will stop you. Xaden nodded to the man and left, like he’s only ever been doing him a favor by attending the class.

He walked quickly across the courtyard towards the flightfield and met Violet and Professor Devera coming the other way in the tunnel.

Violets’s face was pale and drawn. She had dark circles under her eyes like she hadn’t slept and high spots of colour in her cheeks like she had a fever. There was a neat frown over her beautiful eyes which swam with too many emotions to catalog. She looked at him and Xaden felt like she was trying to communicate a million things to him with that look, like maybe just once she would actually welcome him reading the thoughts she couldn’t voice just then. He only hoped one of the things she was trying to express was that she was glad to see him, and that another was she'd welcome his company wherever she was going, because she was getting it anyway.

Xaden stopped, turned and fell into step beside Devera.

‘What’s happened Professor? Why are you back early?’ Xaden asked, maintaining a calm exterior despite the effort it took.

‘There was an attack on the outpost we visited.’ Devera said grimly. ‘The wards fell, and a drift was sighted not far out. Rather than staying to engage I brought the cadets back.’

This explained why Violet looked the way she did. Sgaeyl had mentioned the elder Sorrengail sister, she must have been stationed wherever they had visited. Violet had been forced to fly home with no news of the battle's outcome or her sister’s welfare. Xaden’s fists clenched. Although he didn’t know or care for the older Sorrengail, Violet's distress pained him.

Xaden was then momentarily hit by fear at knowing how close Violet had been to danger. Unnecessarily, as he could see with his own eyes she was here now and physically unharmed. 

‘Cadet Sorrengail’s sister was stationed at the outpost. We are going to see what news has beaten us here.’ Devera explained. She must have seen Xaden’s glance at Violet and taken it for a questioning look.

Xaden walked with them across to the main campus and was glad Devera didn’t ask why he was still there. The professor left Violet to wait in a corridor in the scribe quadrant while she sought Profesor Markham.

Xaden leant against the wall near Violence and looked at her, allowing his concern to show in his face. She had wrapped her arms around her middle and Xaden wished he could offer her comfort in more ways than by physically being there, but they were not alone enough for him to pull her into his arms. 

The sound of boots in the corridor warned him of someone’s approach and Xaden straightened his stance as Aetos came into view. Just perfect.

‘What have you heard?’ Aetos asked, speaking only to Violence.

‘Nothing yet.’ She shook her head.

Aetos glanced in Xaden’s direction then, clearly wondering why he was there.

‘Are you hungry Vi, do you want to come and get something to eat? Or wash up after the flight? We can check in with Devera later.’ Aetos asked, talking to Violence like she was a child and not a grown woman.

Xaden saw Violet’s posture stiffen defensively.

‘She clearly doesn't want to, Aetos.’ He said.

 Aetos turned his attention to Xaden then.

‘Why are you here, Wingleader?’ He asked, frowning. The tone and words were close to disrespect, but only close.

‘The same reason you are.’ Xaden shrugged. ‘I’m trying to offer support to my friend.’

Aetos didn’t see it, but Violet managed a weak smile at Xaden behind his back.

Although he puffed up like he was going to say something self important in response, Xaden and Violet were saved from it by Devera returning. 

The Instructor took in the scene in the corridor with quick efficiency. Xaden respected Devera, She was a smart woman and she never showed prejudice against him or the other marked ones. Still Xaden wondered what she made of the three of them, the tension was too obvious to ignore. However, Devera didn’t allow either her expression or her shields to slip long enough to give him a hint. 

Xaden watched the relief wash across Violence’s face at the news that her sister was fine. Her entire body sagged a little like she had been running on adrenaline for two days. Xaden was pleased when Devera told her to take the rest of the day to rest. 

He was less pleased as, when the professor turned to leave them, Dain Aetos stepped forward and pulled Violence into a hug.

Xaden swore he wasn’t jealous of Aetos. There was usually no reason to be. He had everything that he knew the other man wanted; Violence's trust, the privilege of being welcome in her bed, the position of Wingleader and everything that came with being bonded to an exceptionally powerful dragon.

So it wasn’t jealousy, but something dark and ugly did stir in his chest as Xaden watched Aetos put his unworthy hands on the woman he loved.

I love her. Xaden though, in shock.

‘Have you only just realized that?’ Sgaeyl asked with a tone of gentle pity. 

Violet stood stiffly in Aetos’s embrace for a moment. Then she lifted her arm to pat him on the arm. 

Xaden couldn’t see her face. But he could see Dain’s over her head, and Dain smiled with undeserved smugness and looked right at Xaden.

Turning swiftly, before he committed murder or broke his hand throwing his fist into the wall, Xaden turned and walked away.

………………………..

When I pull back from Dain’s hug Xaden is gone. 

It’s hard not to be disappointed. I had hoped we could reunite properly, away from prying eyes. I assume he's busy and I try to be grateful he took the time to make sure I was not alone if the news about Mira had been bad.

He told Dain I was his friend. Although I used the same word with Mira I have to admit it feels a little upsetting to hear it from him. I know we are not really together, rather just having fun, but Xaden and I spend so much time together he’s become a significant person in my life.  

I hadn't realized just how much I had missed him, until I was walking through the tunnel and saw him coming my way. Despite the stomach turning dread I felt over Mira, dread that had dominated my thoughts since we left Montserrat two days ago, I was aware of a feeling of relief at seeing him. It was like my world wasn’t quite right if Xaden wasn’t near me.

Now that I’ve heard Mira is fine I start to feel how exhausted I am, both physically and emotionally. The panic and fear have passed now leaving me tired and wrung out and I wilt when Dain releases me from his arms. 

‘You look exhausted Vi.’ Dain says. 

‘I couldn’t sleep last night.’ I admit.

‘Let me walk you back.’ He links my arm with his and I let him lead me back to the rider’s citadel. 

I'm lost in my own thoughts, sharing my relief with Andarna and trying not to be hurt about Xaden disappearing, so I don't really listen as Dain speaks. I catch something about being sorry and things being for the best.

‘I hope that we can start to trust each other again.’ He says.

I smile absent-mindedly at him as we stop in the first year dormitory hall.

‘Thank you for walking me back, Dain.’ 

Dain nods, releasing my arm and I walk away.

Rhiannon’s door is closed and there is no answer when I knock. I guess she is in the showers herself, or getting something to eat. She took my pack at the flight field, but I guess I’ll grab it off her later. I don’t really need it yet. I can get a change of clothes from my room. But when I open my door to do just that, I stop in my tracks. 

Xaden is sitting patiently on my bed. He stands when he sees me and opens his arms with a half smile curling his lips.

A small choked sob escapes my lip. Barely thinking to push the door shut behind me first, I throw myself at him. I sigh at how good it feels to have his arms wrapped around me again.The relief I feel overwhelms my embarrassment at falling apart in front of him. I press my face against his chest and breath in his familiar mint and sandalwood scent.

‘What are you doing? You have class.’ I say.

‘Fuck class. I want to be here. ’ Says Xaden, and after a moment he adds less certainty: ‘So long as you want me here?’

‘Of course I want you here.’ I hiccup.

Xaden shifts his arms around me more firmly and I feel his lips press against the absolute mess the wind must have made of my braid. My fingers were shaking too much this morning to do my usual more resilient style.

‘I am glad your sister is alright.’ Xaden says.

‘Thank you.’

I want to stay with my face buried in his shirt, but Xaden pulls back to look at me. When he wipes his thumb against my cheek I realize I’m crying.

‘Sorry.’ I mumble, scrubbing at my face and turning away embarrassed. ‘I’m a bit of a mess.’ I’m dusty and windswept and no doubt I smell like a dragon. 

‘You are not a mess, Violet. You are perfect.’ Xaden gently grasps my wrists and pulls my hands away from my face. He looks at me with warmth and an unguarded smile. Then moving his hands to cradle my head Xaden tips my face up and kisses me. 

It’s gentle and sweet, undemanding. There is no heat to it but he brushes his lips against mine tenderly, in a way that makes my breath hitch.

‘I should still wash.’ I say.

‘If you want to. What do you want to do?’ Xaden asks.

‘Wash, and then sleep.’ I say.

‘Allright, go and wash.’ He presses a kiss to my forehead and drops his arms. ‘Do you want me to get you something to eat?’

‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘But can you stay?’ 

Xaden nods that he will.

I shower quickly, cleaning the dust of my face and body. Then I return to my room with my hair a tangly wet mess.

‘My brush is in my pack.’ I yawn when Xaden raises his eyebrows at it. 

‘Come, sit.’ Xaded pats the bed.

I sit on the edge and he sits behind me and starts using his fingers to comb through my hair. It feels incredibly soothing and he’s very gentle with the snarls. By the time he’s happy with it I’m half asleep leaning back against him. 

‘I know you like my hair.’ I tease sleepily

‘No Violet, I fucking love your hair.’ He corrects. 

Then I let him guide me to lie down in bed and he lies behind me, holding me against his chest. 

Chapter Text

I was truly exhausted and I sleep not only through the afternoon but until the next morning. I wake up as the light starts coming through my curtain and it takes me a moment to remember where I am, for the panic to fade. I’m back in Basgaith, Mira is fine. 

She’s fine.

The rest of the pieces of yesterday afternoon come back to me. Waiting for Devera. Dain. Find Xaden here. His arms around me as I fell asleep. 

My room is empty now, except for me and my things. Neat and tidy except for my discarded clothing dumped unceremoniously on my chair. Or so I think until I turn fully and see something out of place on my bedside table. Beside me there is a leather package and a folded piece of parchment.

Options are limited as to who could have left it there. Unless Xaden has undone his ward without telling me, which seems unlikely, it has to be from him. But in the months of our casual relationship he’s never been the leaving-gifts-beside-my-bed type. So it is with some dissbelief that I sit up to reach for and open the note.

Violence,

I know flowers are more traditional, but the violets are not in bloom yet so I had to get creative. 

Welcome back.

I pick up the leather package and find it has some weight to it. Laying it on the blanket I undo the leather ties and unroll it to reveal twelve daggers glittering with perfectly honed edges in the early morning light. They are all beautifully made, unusually small and crafted from a dark blend of metal I don’t recognise. Each one is decorated on the hilt with a Tyrrish rune.

When I lift one out from the leather I find it is lighter than I expected. When I wrap my hand around the hilt my grip feels secure and there is no strain at all on my wrist like there is with some of my other knives.

Untraditional indeed.

With shaking hands I put the dagger back with the others before swinging my legs out of the bed.

The wards falling at Montserrat and then the attack, pushed my conversation with Mira about Xaden out of my head. But I think about it now while I dress. And I feel with deep certainty that what Mira told me doesn't change a thing.

Xaden was a child when the rebellion happened. His father’s choices and actions were not his. But Navarre - my mother I remind myself- treated him like they were and put the weight of that and the responsibility for the lives of other children on him. It’s no wonder he is the way he is: no wonder he takes his job as a Wingleader so seriously despite his clear disdain for rules and the chain of command. No wonder he does everything in his power to help the younger marked one in secret. Despite the alternative he was faced with he feels responsible for them being here.

I don’t blame him for not telling me. I understand why he didn’t. We never speak about our families and I can understand that Xaden likely fears I will see this revelation the way Mira does; as a reason for me to distrust him. But I see it as further proof that to him I am not my mother’s daughter. I’m me, just Violet; his Violence. To him that’s someone desirable, capable, strong and deserving of his respect. Someone he called perfect, someone he kissed like they were something precious. 

Mira asked how well I know him. And while it’s true there are things I don’t know, things he hasn’t told me, I think that I do know him. I feel that I know who he is in the very marrow of his bones and that he is someone I can trust.

Looking at those daggers as I try to make my hair something respectable I realize I know him well enough to be in real trouble. And I know that when this is over between us it is really, really going to hurt.

………………….

I swear I can feel Xaden’s eyes on me in Battle Brief.

I walked past him in the courtyard before lunch, close enough to exchange a nod. I had seen his gaze fall to my old daggers sheathed at my thighs, the others not visible under my jacket, and he had frowned. He's been frowning at me since.

The lesson hasn’t started when I'm aware of something brushing against my leg. I look down and see a curl of shadow under the desk holding a note against my knee. My fingers take the note and I unfold it.

Do you not like my gift?

That’s all he’s written. 

The answer isn’t straightforward, and I’d rather have this conversation in person than by passing notes in class. I fold the note back up and hold it in the palm of my left hand on top of the desk as Professor Devera calls us to attention and starts the lesson.

A few minutes later the curl of shadow snakes up onto my desk and gently wraps around my wrist. I can barely feel it, cool and light against my skin. Gently reminding me it's wielder is not so patiently awaiting my reply. 

I sigh and unfold the note to pen my reply.

They are beautiful but I can’t accept it.

-V

Liam shifts beside me and I turn slightly to see his knowing glance and I blush.

I lower the note under the desk and the shadow slips off my wrist and takes it from between my fingers.

The rest of the lesson passes without any more notes arriving and I do my best to focus and give what the instructors and the class discussion my full attention. When the class is over and I’m walking down the corridor with Liam, Rhi, Ridoc and Sawyer I hear footsteps behind us and I just know it’s him. I’m not sure if it’s from the tone of irritation in the boots on the flagstone floor or if it’s the timing and stride of those long legs that I recognise but when I turn Xaden is there like I expected.

‘Sparring gym, Sorrengail?’ Xaden askes with eyebrows raised.

It wouldn’t be my first choice for this conversation. But I agree with a shrug  and follow at Xaden’s side in the opposite direction to where my squad is going.

‘Why?’ Asks Xaden, like we are in the middle of a conversation.

I glance at him. He is wearing his veneer of disinterest for the benefit of onlookers but there is a tightness to his jaw.

‘We are only allowed weapons that we win in challenges and earn in weapons qualifications.’ I say. It's a weak excuse and I can see he doesn't accept it.

‘If you insist on fighting me for them I'll think you are just looking for an excuse to get me on my back.’ Xaden whispers, ducking his head before we enter the gym.

‘I won't. You can have them back.’ I whisper.

He doesn't answer and I follow him to a sparring mat. I drop my satchel bag and jacket then start to disarm but Xaden shakes his head. 

‘Not today.’ He says.

I give him a puzzled look. 

‘Today you are going to be practicing with blades.’ Xaden tells me.

‘You said you didn’t want to dig one of my daggers out of your ribs.’ I remind him.

‘I’m confident I can stop you.’ He says. ‘We have been training together for months now, I know all your moves.’

I follow him as he takes his spot on the opposite side of the mat. Xaden raises a hand and sets his shadow out over the mat. I palm two blades and swallow my misgivings. I’m fond of him, I don’t want to make him bleed.

When I don’t make the first move Xaden crocks two fingers at me with a ‘Come hither’ smirk. He’s trying to make me angry on purpose.

He’s going to be so sorry.

I wield and make a slash at him and Xaden jumps out of the way of my dagger. He grabs my wrist and starts to twist as I wield behind him and cut back in the other direction. He drops low under my arm and kicks back, taking out my legs. 

It’s easy enough to wield out of the fall and I attack him front on again. I kick high, catching him on the side and he winces. I use my momentum from the hick to twist and on follow through with the blade in my right hand but Xaden’s shoots out and the heel of his hand smacks the base of the hilt, nocking the dagger right out of my grip. 

The dagger goes flying and when it lands the shadows swallow it. 

While I’m momentarily distracted another shadow whips the other dagger out of my left hand.

‘That’s cheating.’ I say.

‘I thought we established there are no rules on this mat. We make full use of all the weapons we have.’ Xaden counters.

I unsheath two more blades and face him again. I run at him and feign like I am going to strike high then slip under his guard and I slam the hilt of my blade into his thigh. As I make contact he grabs my wrist and snatches the dagger out of my hand. Then he swears and rubs his leg.

I raise my eyebrows at him, asking if he's going to tell me off for failing to make full use of my weapon. But I guess he's not that eager to bleed.

He spins and throws my dagger to the side as I come at him again.

I slash, he blocks. I attack and he catches my arm. I wield to his other side and my blade slices across his upper arm before he can block me.

It's a shallow cut but blood drips down onto the mat. Instead of stopping to tend to it Xaden comes on the attack, letting me know he hasn't had enough yet.

After deflecting his strikes for a few beats I wield to his left and aim a strike at his exposed ribs. My blade sinks into shadow, just as I began to try and deflect what was going to be an undefended hit. I try to pull my dagger back, but Xaden holds on tight with his shadow and the hilt slips from my hand. 

I growl in frustration as my fourth dagger disappears.

‘How long do we have to keep doing this, before you learn the lesson?’ Xaden asks.

‘What lesson?’ I bite out. I stay close to him but rest my fingers on the hilts of two more daggers in the sheaths at my ribs. ‘Because if the lesson is you're an overconfident asshole I already knew that.’

His eyes widen for a split second before he leans in and smirks ‘We both know my confidence is deserved.’

I scoff at him ‘Hardly.’

‘You don't seem to feel that way when you are making those breathy little moans for me, or begging for -’

‘Talking like that on the mat is against the rules.’ I hiss, my eyes narrowing at him.

‘Just using every weapon I have to my advantage, Violence.’ He smirks. ‘And no, That’s not the lesson.’

‘Then what is?’ I ask.

‘That these daggers - ’ A shadow helpfully raises the missing four into the space between us ‘- are too easy to knock out of your hands. You need to use weapons designed for your body type. That’s why I had the other’s made for you.’

‘You had them made for me? Xaden, that makes it worse.’ I stomp my foot and snatch a dagger out of the shadow between us. He lets me.

Genuine confusion crosses his face as I pluck and resheath my remaining daggers.

‘Worse how?’ He asks. 

I roll my eyes and storm off the mat to grab my jacket and bag. ‘Are we done? Is the lesson over?’

‘Worse how?’ He demands.

I glare at him as other cadets turn their heads at his raised voice. 

‘You need to get that seen too.’ I point to his arm where the sleeve is wet with blood.

He looks down at his arm and back at me like he'd like to argue that point. 

I dig in my bag and hold out one of the bandages I always carry with me to wrap my joints. When Xaden doesn't  take it I walk over to wrap his wound myself. He tries to protest but ends up standing patiently while I wrap and tie the bandage neatly. 

‘We can finish this conversion later. In private.’ I say in a low voice and give him a warning look as I tug the lined band tight. ‘Can I trust you to go get this stitched up?’

He nods reluctantly and gives me a petulant look.

Satisfied he isn't going to bleed to death left to his own devices I turn and leave.

Am I delaying the conversation with Xaden? Undoubtedly. But my head and heart are in turmoil and I'm not ready to say what I know I’ll have to say if he demands to know the real reason I can’t accept his gift.

I thought I could do this, enjoy the parts of him he was willing to give me and accept what I couldn’t have. But it’s different now; after last night I’ve felt what it would be like to have him care for me. I don’t know how I can go back to settling for less. If he'd only continued the pattern we'd established, I might have been able to keep ignorning my growing feelings for weeks more.

I need time to think and space from people who are going to ask me about Xaden or look questioningly at my flushed and angry face. So I seek out the company of the one person I know won’t ask unwanted questions or judge me. I walk instead of wielding out to the flight field and when I get there Andarna lands. I sink down into the grass beside her and she curls her neck around me. 

…………………….

‘What did you mean when you said my having the daggers made for you makes it worse?’ Xaden asks.

I’ve let him in after dinner but I don’t throw my arms around him or stand close enough to be kissed. Instead I place myself out of arm's reach and cross my arms over my chest.

Xaden watches this warily. ‘Makes what worse, Violence?’ Xaden repeats.

‘It makes it more intimate.’ I say, looking down at my feet.

‘I’ve kissed almost every inch of skin on your body. How can you be concerned about the intimacy of accepting a gift from me?’ There is a tone of smugness as he says this and I can feel his eyes sweeping over me, as if he’s remembering every kiss.

‘I’m not talking about physical intimacy Xaden.’ I bite my lip. ‘I can't accept them becasue It's emotionaly intimate. After all the ‘no feelings’ rule was your idea, It’s not fair of you to blur the lines.’

He steps forward and slips his fingers under my chin, asking me to tip my face up to meet his eyes.

‘And what if I’ve changed my mind?’ He asks gently.

My breath catches in my chest and I frown at him. ‘Changed your mind?’ 

He nods, and he looks serious. There is no humor or guile in his open onyx gaze.

‘But you said not to fall for you. You wanted me to promise not to.’ I say accusingly.

‘That was before.’ Xaden shrugs. 

‘Before what.’ I demand. ‘I'm going to need you to spell it out for me Xaden. Because as far as I am aware nothing has changed; you are still graduating and there is still no - no future for us.’ To my utter humiliation my eyes are stinging and I will myself to not cry in front of him.

Xaden cups my face in both his hands and holds my gaze with his. ‘Before I fell for you.’ he says simply.

I gape at him.

‘I want there to be a future for us Violet. I’ll write to you. Command will probably read every word but I’ll write you the sappiest love letters they have ever intercepted if it means we have a chance.’ His thumbs move in circles on my jaw and he searches my face, deadly serious. 

I’m still struggling to grasp if I am hearing him right, if he really means… But Xaden must see the answer he wants in my face as his gaze softens and he dips his mouth to kiss me.

The kiss is fierce, passionate. His tongue sweeps against mine as his fingers slide to the back of my head. He holds me to him and his mouth moves against mine firmly, like he’s trying to move clearly, deliberately, lest I misunderstand his intent. As if he can kiss me into believing his words. 

Maybe he can. I kiss him back as passionately as I can.

He lifts me with his hands under my ass and steps forward, pinning me against the armoire. The wood creaks in protest as he presses firmly into me, letting me feel all of his desire, his need. There is a desperate edge to the way his hands move over my body; along my thigh and hip, skimming the side of my breast. Then one tangles in my hair. He pulls my head back and presses his lips urgently against my neck.

‘Xaden.’ I moan. 

‘Violence.’ He breathes against my skin, making me shiver all over. ‘I don't want this to end. I don't want us to end.’ 

‘Neither do I. I'm falling for you.' I admit.

‘Good. Becasue I've allready fallen.’ Xaden pulls back to look at me again. ‘Will you accept the daggers Violet, knowing that?’

‘I will.’ I say, nodding.

Xaden smiles then, not a smirk or a grin.  But a smile that stretches across his face, shows his teeth and sparkles in his eyes. He's so beautiful, I can't help pulling him close to kiss him again.

Later Xaden and I are cuddled in the bed. He’s leaning against the headboard and I’m resting against his bare chest. The leather case holding the daggers is open across my lap.

‘They really are beautiful.’ I say as I stroke the hilt of one. ‘But I don’t know what all the runes mean.’

‘I’d be impressed if you knew any.’ Xaden says. I hear the challenge in his tone.

‘I take it, you know what they all mean?’ I ask.

‘Of course I do Violence. I drew them all.’ his tone is faintly offended.

‘I did learn Tyrrish. But mostly the Tyrrish script, not runes.’ I consider the runes before me carefully.

‘I doubt it's common to learn them, outside the old Tyrrish houses. Even for future scribes.’ He teases.

‘This one is “Guard”.’ I say holding one up.

‘Yes…’ Says Xaden slowly.

‘And this is “Ballance”?’ I ask, pointing to another blade. I feel him nod. ‘And this is “Air”.’

‘Close, it’s actually “Breath”.’ Xaden corrects.

I frown at the next rune I recognise. 

‘This is also “Guard”, but they look different.’ I compare the two runes.

‘Yes, You can combine runes to make a more complex meaning.’ Xaden explains.

‘Oh,’ I say with understanding. ‘It’s a monosyllabic language. Like old Luceraish.’

‘I’ll have to take your word for it. I’m not familiar with old Luceraish.’ Xaden says. ‘Four out of twelve isn’t bad, a chuisle mo chroí.’ 

I turn and face him with a puzzled smile.

‘I though you said you know Tyrrish.’ Xaden laughs.

‘I'm not familiar with that phrase.’

‘It’s an endearment appropriate for a sweetheart.’ Xaden says softly, putting my hand over his chest where I can feel the rhythm of his heart. ‘It means the beat of my heart.’

I feel my own do a little flip in my chest in response and blush.

‘That definitely wasn't in any of the Tyrrish books I've read.’ I mumble.

‘Were they all on history and strategy?’ Xanden asks, smiling. ‘Because we can fix that gross oversight in your education. I can lend you some classic Tyrrish poems and ballads.’ 

‘You have books of poetry?’ I ask, raising my eyebrows. ‘You carried them across the parapet?’ 

‘That surprises you?’

It does surprise me. But pleasantly. The idea that he has books so dear to him he carried them here on his back is endearing to me. It's nice to see this side of him and I'm aware of what a privilege it is to be trusted with it.

‘You seem too focused and practical to bring books for sentimental reasons. Mira wouldn't let me bring anything that wasn't directly useful for killing people.’ I explain to him. ‘The only book she let me keep in my pack was my book on poisons.’

Xaden laughs, ‘Mira is very sensible. And I probably would have made the same decision she did for Liam. It's harder to be practical, unsentimental, for yourself.’ 

I nod, and settle my head against his shoulder. We are both silent for a moment before I yawn.

‘Will you stay tonight?’ I ask softly.

His arms around me tighten and he presses a kiss into my hair. ‘Yes.’ Xaden says. 

Chapter Text

Before breakfast I walk to the commons library and collect the book cart.

I feel Andarna wake. I sense her awareness brush against mine and I feel her stretch her body and wings.

‘Good morning dear one.’ I say.

‘Hmm, Morning. You are very happy this morning.’ Andarna notes with a gentle tone and I smile to myself in the corridor. I've been smiling all morning, since I woke up with Xaden beside me.

‘I am happy, I’m very happy.’ I laugh.

‘And I am happy for you.’ Andarna says fondly.

Xaden had looked younger with his face relaxed in sleep, his features softer. He had been lying on his side facing towards me when I woke, with one arm tucked under the pillow and the other draped over my waist. I had been reluctant to wake him, but decided he would prefer I do, so he could sneak out before the rest of the quadrant woke. And I was glad I did. His thick dark lashes had fluttered open and I had watched alertness and understanding spark in those gold flecked onyx depths. Then a smile spread across his face as his arm around me had tightened, pulling me against his chest.

Sleepy early morning Xaden was my new favorite.

I walk with quick steps towards the Archive, pushing the trolley ahead of me. It’s the first time I’ve done library duty since the squad battle and I’m eager.

‘You think Niamh’s rider may be wrong?’ Andarna asks me, sensing the direction of my thoughts.

‘I am not sure.’ I shrug. ‘But I won’t know what information the journal contains or doesn’t contain unless I read it.’

I feel a complicated mix of reluctance and pride from Andarna for a moment, before she improves her emotional shield.

‘You won’t be satisfied until you have the truth, will you?’

‘No, I won’t.’ I tell her.

At the Archive I’m pleased to see a familiar face under a cream hood. Jesinia’s eyes crinkle and she bites back an un-scribe-like smile as her hands move in a greeting.

‘It’s so good to see you.’ She tells me.

‘It’s good to see you too.’

She has a moment of hesitancy then asks, excitement making her movements fast; ‘Is it true? Did you really break into the Archive after close? Everyone is talking about it.’

I grin and nod.

‘I thought that was impossible, with the wards?’ Jesinia’s eyes are comically wide.

‘It’s because of my signet,’ I tell her ‘I can distance wield through the wards.’

Jesinia watches in growing wonder and I explain how I had wielded in and out to take breaths.

‘That is incredible.’ Jesinia signs. Then she shakes herself and gestures to the cart. ‘Returns?’

I nod and pass her the list of requests.

‘Although, there is another I was wondering if you would look up for me?’ I add.

‘It’s not going to be another impossible book is it?’ Jesinia asks.

‘I know this one is here. It’s the diary of Lyra the First.’ I tell her.

Jesinia takes the trolley and requests and I wait patiently. When she comes back with the trolley she has an apologetic look.

‘I am sorry.’ Jesinia signs when her hands are free. ‘The Archive does have that book but it is not in open circulation. Cadets are not allowed to borrow it.’

I feel my face fall. ‘Thank you for checking for me.’

Jesina’s eyes glance around the room looking to see if anyone is around, then she pulls a slip of parchment of her sleeve and pressed it into my hand.

‘I’m sorry Violet, there is nothing I can do.’ Jesinia signs again.

I thank her anyway.

As I walk back to the riders quadrant I stop on the bridge to open the note. It’s a torn piece of ruled parchment, taken from a notebook. It contains a clearly lettered copy of the index card with the section and shelf in the archive that houses the translated copy of Lyra’s diary. 

The two weeks between the squad battle and war games are hectic. Although I am eager to read the diary, it is a lower priority for me than completing the assessment that is due before war games start and spending time with Xaden. And that is in addition to classes and my training regime.

Xaden is even busier. His schedule seems more demanding than it has been yet all year and although he doesn’t complain about it, it is clear it is taking it's toll on him.

Late one night he comes to my room when I am getting ready to turn in. He shrugs out of his jacket and sits heavily on the bed, signing and rubbing at his temples.

‘Headache?’

He nods.

‘Here, let me.’ I say, putting my hair brush away and kneel behind him on the mattress. I put my hands on his shoulders and feel the tense muscles there, running up the sides of his neck. I use my thumbs to press gently into his neck and shoulders, rubbing along the muscles and coaxing them to relax. 

Xaden groans softly and I smile.

‘Is that alright?’ I ask. 

‘Yes.’ Xaden groans. 

I work on his shoulders and his neck before running my fingers along his scalp. He sighs and leans into my touch. 

‘Bad day?’ 

‘Busy day.’ He sighs.

‘Are you looking forward to war games being over?’ I ask, gently raking my nails down the back of his head. 

Xaden sighs heavily. ‘No, although it will mean less work. For the first time in three years I’m not in a hurry to graduate.’ He turns to look at me, wrapping an arm around my waist.

I smile at him and stroke the sides of his face before kissing him.

Xaden and I spend as much of our limited time together as we can. Both of us are conscious of how short the months left together will be. And when he is busy late into the night I will fall asleep alone and wake with him beside me. After the first time I woke up, surprised to find him there he apologized, but I shut that down quickly and made it clear he was always welcome. If the only time I could see him in private on a given day was the early morning, I would take it.

Xaden and I did try doing our study in my room together, in order to spend more time with each other, but it did not go very well. That is to say, very little studying was done. As neither of us can actually afford to flunk our assessment we agreed to return to our usual academic habits. The next evening I'm sitting in commons across from Liam working together on our history essays. Liam keeps glancing over my shoulder at someone behind me.

‘Xaden is staring at you.’ Liam says in a low voice. 

‘He is supposed to be working on his physics homework.’ I respond, without looking up. 

‘He hasn't been for fifteen minutes.’ Liam notes. 

I don't say anything but smile and check the time. I still have twenty minutes left of the time we agreed would be for coursework tonight.

‘Things seem to be getting pretty serious between you two.’ Says Liam.

While Liam and I haven't exactly chatted about my relationship I am not surprised he’s noticed. Liam is close with Xaden as well as myself and he is perceptive. I know he's seen my new daggers and he must know who gave them to me.

‘Yeah, they are.’ I say. The expression on Liam’s face is weary and I frown at him. ‘Is something wrong, Liam?’ 

Liam shakes his head and gives me a dimpled grin that isn't totally convincing.

‘What is it?’ I ask.

‘Vi,’ Liam sighs and leans forward to put a hand over mine where it's hovering with my pen. ‘It’s not that I’m not happy for you, or that I disapprove in some way. You are two of my favorite people and gods know I think you are good for him.’

‘But?’ I prompt.

‘But, I would hate to see you get hurt.’ Says Liam softly.

I smile at him. ‘You are sweet, Liam Mairi, but you don’t have to worry about me. I am a big girl, I can look after myself.’

He doesn’t look completely convinced. I pat his hand with my left before retracting both of my own. I stretch in my chair and turn my head to peek at where Xaden is sitting behind me. But Xaden’s head is turned away now and I can see he's speaking with Garrick. I begin to turn back to Liam when my gaze catches someone else's. 

Jack Barlowe is sitting at a desk at the far wall, staring at me. The look on his face sends chills down my spine. I turn back to Liam quickly and remind myself that Jack can't hurt me. That I'm safe. It doesn't stop my heart racing for all the wrong reasons though. 

Liam has noticed Jack too and is watching him. I see his eyes widen and his jaw set. The skin on my neck crawls unpleasantly as I hear footsteps behind me and I tense, knowing jack is there. Unbidden power rises under my skin and makes my hairs stand on end.

‘Aren't you sick of it yet Mairi? Of carrying her dead weight? Letting her coast on your hard work?’ Jack asks.

Liam dosn’t rise to the bait, but packs away his essay. ‘I'm done.’ He tells me, ignoring Jack.

I move to pack up my things too, but remain hyper aware of Jack beside me. 

‘Think how much better it would be if you didn't have to waste your energy keeping some so weak alive in here.’ Jack tries again.

Liam stands and when he does it’s to his full height where he looks down on Jack. 

‘Keep talking like that and I won't waste any energy stopping Violet from killing you.’ Liam says calmly.

‘We both know she won't.’ Jack drawls. ‘She doesn't have what it takes to be a real rider. She lacks the will to make the strike when it’s needed. That’s why no proper dragon would bond her. She'd just hold her dagger at my neck,  she'd hesitate and then she'd be dead.’ he turns to look at me and and his words are like a punch in my gut. His ice blue eyes, faintly bloodshot, seem to cut into me. He must see it, because he smiles and laughs. 

‘Violet is a hundred times the rider you are.’ says Liam angrily.

‘Hesitating to slit your throat is not a mistake I'll make again.’ I bite out. I grab my books and step away from him. 

Liam comes to my side of the table and we leave together. We walk past Xaden and Garrick who have both been watching tensely. I see Garick has his hand on Xaden’s forearm as if to stop him leaping up at Jack and I’m grateful.

Behind us Jack keeps laughing.

‘We will see Sorrengail, we will see.’ He calls.

Liam and I walk in silence until we are out of sight of the commons. Then I stop and lean against the wall. My hands are shaking with anger and adrenaline and I need a moment to take some deep breaths.

‘It’s all talk Vi,’ Liam asks, ‘He’s a coward when it comes down to it.’

‘But it’s not just talk.’ I say.

‘We won’t let him hurt you, no-one in the squad will let him near you.’ Liam frowns.

‘I’m not worried he’ll hurt me. I’m worried what he says is true. What he says about me.’ I confess. ‘What if I never can take the kill shot? What kind of rider will that make me?’

‘You can't let the works of someone like Jack get to you, he hardly knows you at all.’ Liam says.

I cross my arms over my chest and look at the floor. ‘How well do you think my brother knew me?’

‘Uhh… your brother Brennan?’ Liam asks.

‘Mmmhm.’ I sigh. ‘Because he thought the same thing. He wrote to Mira that he thought I should never be a rider. That I didn’t have what it took.’

‘Violet.’ Liam puts his hands on my shoulders and I look up at him. ‘You were what, fourteen at most when Brennan wrote that? If he could see Violet today he probably would rethink that assessment. How many fourteen year olds seem like they are cut out to be trained killers?’

I shrug at him. ‘Barlowe probably.’

‘Exactly.’ Says Liam. ‘Do you want to be like Barlowe?’

I shake my head and smile a little.

‘I certainly would never want a rider like him.’ Andarna tells me and I sigh. ‘It’s a mistake to think your compassion makes you unsuitable to be a rider, Violet. Navarre needs riders with more compassion, not less.’ 

......................................

Andarna and I are reading Lyra’s diary, late the night before war games begin. I’m dressed for sleep, but excitement about tomorrow has kept me awake so I am distracting my mind by reading. I have the text propped up on my desk and I’m making notes in a small notebook, that I usually keep stashed beside Brennan’s diary in my armoire.
 The first thing I did when I borrowed the book was scan it for references of the wards, but finding nothing I have been reading from the beginning. Lyra seems to have been an inconsistent diarist. There are stretches of time where she makes daily entries and then she will go a week without recording anything, or making reference to what has passed. I also find some of her turns of phrase occasionally clunky and odd, although that may be the error of the translator: one Colonel Rhodes who translated the original diary almost four hundred years ago.

The diary is a fascinating read though, and I have continued to work through it although I have given up hope of finding information on the wards. I especially find the sections where she reflects on her bond with her dragon, Aisling, fascinating. Their experience of learning to work together and learning to wield is recorded in detail. It is a much more intimate insight to another rider’s experience than I have ever been privy to and Andarna is interested too. I can feel her attention and focus on these passages. She has explained to me that she can not actually read the words herself through my eyes- although she is teaching herself the script- but she shares my understanding of the text as I read it.

‘Hmm.’ I frown and re-read the sentence I just encountered. ‘It must be a mistranslation.’ I say out loud. Lyra has written about attending a discussion that will require input from Aisling and the six other leaders of the dragon dens. It seems a careless mistake on Rhodes’ part, as the diary has already established Aisling is the leader of one of the dens, the text makes it sound like Lyra will be consulting with seven dragon representatives instead of six.

Andarna doesn’t respond to my comment, although I can feel her attention, before I am distracted by my door creaking open and I close the notebook.

I turn and smile at Xaden. He shuts the door behind him before crossing over to drop a kiss on my lips. 

‘Are you still studying?’ He murmurs.

‘No exactly.’ I reach over to close the borrowed tome I was reading before he can see too much on the page. Then I hold it against my chest so the spine is hidden.

‘Violence?’ Xaden tone is teasing.

‘I’ll tell you what I’m doing, but you have to promise to keep the secret.’ I say playfully.

Xaden is intrigued. He leans on the edge of the desk and smirks down at me. ‘Allright.’

I bite my lip and turn the book, then open to the title page so he can read it.

‘Diary of Lyra of Morraine - translated by Colonel Rhodes 260 AU.’ Xaden reads, lifting an eyebrow at me in question.

‘It’s in restricted circulation. Cadets are not allowed to borrow it.’ I say.

Xaden’s smile falls. ‘Do you know how much trouble you would be in if anyone knew you had this?’

‘That’s why it’s a secret Xaden.’ I say rolling my eyes. When he keeps frowning at me I drop my playful tone. ‘Since when have you been such a big fan of rules? No-one will find out I have it.’

‘I’m not a fan of rules, especially not fucking stupid rules,’ Xaden closes his eyes and sighs in a long-suffering way, ‘But. I don’t think you realize how dangerous a game you are playing here. If you and anyone who helped you get that book are discovered, you are not just going to get a slap on the wrist. It will be the end of your careers, the end of your lives probably.’ His voice is short and brisk, but I know that’s just because he is worried.  

‘Hey,’ I put the book down and stand so I can put my arms around his waist. ‘That’s not going to happen Xaden. No-one will find out about this, I’m being really, really careful. I promise.’

‘What if they notice the book is missing, Violet?’ He asks, wrapping me in a hug and frowning down at me.

‘They won’t. I return it every night I borrow it, before I go to bed. The book is back on the shelves when the Archive opens.’

Xaden blinks, and slowly starts to smile at me. ‘That it - that’s brilliant, actually.’

‘I know.’ I say.

‘The instructors aren’t going to know what to do with you in RSC are they?’ Xaden asks, shaking his head.

‘Nope.’ I agree. Resting my head on his chest so I can feel him sigh again.

‘Why am I not surprised you know what those letters mean?’ Xaden asks.

I just shrug in his arms. 

‘Are you going to tell me how you know?’ Xaden asks. 

‘Not tonight,’ I laugh and start to step out of his arms. ‘Now if you will excuse me for a minute, I have a book to return.’

‘Be quick.’ Says Xaden, pulling back against him for a moment and giving me a heated look. ‘I’ll miss you.’ one of his hands slides up my back to bury itself in my unbound hair.

I reach up on my toes and kiss him. It’s deep, and passionate. Although it’s a familiar dance now between us, our tongues and lips moving together in practiced choreography, Xaden’s kiss never fails to make my heart race. Not only does my heart race, my head spins and my body aches for his - it’s almost enough to make me forget my errand.

Almost.

‘I will be quick.’ I whisper, pecking his lips.

I step firmly out of his arms and pick up the book winking at him before I reach for the spot I’ve memorized before the Archive shelf and wield.

Chapter Text

Although it was still cold the morning I left to fly to Montserrat three weeks ago, the spring sun is now warm enough to make me uncomfortable in my flight leathers as I wait in the courtyard to start the first battle of war games.

My friends are debating if we will be attacking or defending against our opponents, First Wing. We are waiting in formation while leadership gets their directions from Xaden. I’m only listening to what my friends are saying with half an ear, they are only passing the time and I’m passing it more enjoyably by admiring Xaden. He has his serious Wingleader face on and he gives assignments to section and squad leaders. The ease and confidence with which he gives direction and commands attention makes me smile.. 

Rhiannon is arguing that we will be attacking, because she hasn’t seen anyone from First Wing since lunch. Riddoc disagrees with her and asks for my opinion. 

‘Attacking.’ I say distractedly. 

‘Is that what you think, or what you know?’ Asks Riddoc meaningfully.

I roll my eyes. Although there is little point as Riddoc is behind me. 

‘Do you think this meeting would be taking so long if leadership had known anything about our assignment ahead of time?’ I ask him.

Riddoc mumbles something I don’t quite catch but one word sounds like benefits. I ignore it because the leadership meeting is breaking up. Squad Leaders head back towards us and as Xaden looks over the assembled wing his gaze meets mine and breath catches in my chest for a second. 

He is looking especially- devastatingly- handsome today. I may have just been cursing our uniforms for comfort in the sun but there is no denying they look good. And no-one wears rider black better than my man. It’s hard to keep a grin off my face at that thought. That he's mine.

Xaden glares at me and I know he's trying to tell me to stop undressing him with my eyes and focus on winning.

Dain has an excited grin on his face that becomes understandable when he tells us we have been given the task of defending Fourth Wing’s flag, without a defensive point. I think of playing capture the flag to practice using my signet, there can be no question why Xaden has given us this task. My squad mates are grinning too, and I catch a number of excited glances my way. I know we are all thinking the same thing. Between Rhiannon’s Signet ability and mine, First Wing stands no chance of taking our flag.

Dain directs us on strategy as we walk to the flight field. And as I listen to him I think of Mira’s lesson at Montserrat and smile. We are all given tasks that play to our strengths.

I wielded out to the flight field before formation so Andarna already has the harness on when we get there. Our squad is soon airbourne and in formation, Dain at the lead taking the first turn carrying the flag.

An hour into skirting the hundred mile area that is the battle ground I am beginning to re-think why Xaden gave our squad this assignment. Maybe it was meant as a punishment for Dain, or an attempt not to show favoritism towards our squad. Because this is boring, and if we are going to be spending the rest of the game flying in intricate formation passing a flag backwards and forwards without opposition I don’t think I will be the only one who is disappointed. 

Dain and Cath have just led us on a steep descent down into a valley when something finally happens. Deigh tells Andarna and the other dragons that Liam has seen a tower on the cliff ahead. I look up, the shape and colour of the structure make it blend in with the rocks it’s built around. It’s not until I see a dragon launch from the cliff above us that I realize it’s significance.

A torrent of hail pellets rain down on us, forcing Andarna to tuck her wings to avoid  damage and we drop at a dizzying speed towards the valley floor. The first wing cadet and dragon behind us give chase, until Andarna pulls out sharply leaving them struggling to redirect their momentum and avoid a collision with the ground. 

‘That must be where they are keeping the egg.’ I can see more dragons lining the edge of the cliff now, ready to launch too.

‘Agreed.’ Says Andarna. ‘Cath has informed-’

Andarna cuts herself off with a growl as a dragon appears out of the valley to the right and opens their jaws to blast us with fire. Andarna pulls up sharply, taking most of the blast to her underbelly and shielding me from the worst of the flames.

Heat sears my right leg and I can’t stop a scream at the pain. But then I feel the resistance that is holding my legs to Andarna’s sides give way and I’m falling from her back.

‘Wield to the ground Violet!’ Andarna commands me. 

I was reaching with my Signet for her, but at Andarna’s command I turned and picked out a point to place myself on the rocky outcrop below me. I duck down beside a bolder and wince as I take most of my weight on my left leg. I glance down and see a hole is burnt in my leathers along the front of my shin. The top half of my boot is missing and what is left is melted. The leg underneath is raw pink flesh under the charred, ash gray remains of my uniform. I feel slightly woozy looking at it, but I have enough presence of mind to be grateful I still have a leg at all. I am all too familiar with how easily dragon fire can reduce human bodies to ash. The pain is immense, although there are no flames it feels like my leg is still alight and I suck air through my teeth as I shift my weight and try to shove all the pain into a corner of my mind.

A loud, guttural scream pulls my attention to the sky above me. Andarna is on the back of the First Wing dragon, her razor sharp talons sunk deep through their scales. The remains of the harness are just a few tattered strips of black leather around her neck. The other dragon shrieks again and Andarna snaps her jaws a hair's breadth from the head of the First Wing rider in front of her before releasing her hold and gaining altitude again. 

‘Come back, Violet.’ Andarna says. 

I do, and I turn in the seat to watch the wounded dragon fly away before facing the direction Andarna is going. Back towards the tower.

I see it when she does. Ahead of us, next to the cliff where the tower rises, a Red and an Orange are locked in battle. I recognise Deigh and Baide at the same moment Andarna and I share the realization that Baide’s rider is not on her back. 

For a moment Baide’s wing obscures them, and then I clearly see Jack Barlowe plant his foot on Liam’s chest and kick him off the sword that he’s run him through with. And Liam begins to fall.

There isn’t time to think. All the pain in my body is forgotten and my heart is in my mouth as I wield. 

There is sweat beading his brow and his face is a mask of pain and fear, but Liam’s eyes widen in shock as my arms close around him in the air beside Deigh’s hindleg. He wraps his arms reflexively around me in return and I hear him whisper my name.

I look past Liam’s head at the rocky ground rushing up at us. There is no time for hesitation, no time to get this wrong. I focus with all of my will power on the feeling of Liam in my arms and wield. The golden power in my mind latches onto my one instinctive point and I wield, taking him with me.

Liam and I fall maybe as much as half a foot onto smooth black scales, but it’s enough to make Liam sink his teeth into his lip and go white with pain. We are lying side by side on Andarna’s back, between her wings. Andarna doesn't have ample room for two riders, so her black wings are like curtains rising and falling beside our heads as she holds a steady level course away from the fighting behind us. 

I sit up and look down at Liam. There is a gash in his uniform at the side of his abdomen where blood is flowing freely. Without thinking too much about it I place my hands over the wound and press firmly to try and stem the flow of blood that soon covers my hands. Liam moans and his eyes are squeezed tightly shut in pain.

‘I’m so sorry Liam.’ I cry into the air tearing past my face.

‘He is losing too much blood. We have to get him to Nolon.’  I tell Andarna, tasting bitter panic in my mouth. We are on the outer edge of the battle ground and I am terrified of how long it will take us to reach Basgaith.

‘Then take us there.’ She tells me. And Andarna shows me a memory of what it looks like to fly over Basgaith.

I close my eyes and still pressing firmly against Liam’s abdomen I hold onto the feeling of him and Andarna with me and I reach for the location and wield. When I open my eyes again we are passing over the rider citadel down to the main building. 

Andarna lets out a cry of alarm as she slows her wings over the courtyard. Heeding her warning bodies clad in shades of blue and white below us scatter and she sinks as gently as she can onto the stones before the entry of the healer’s quadrant.

It’s chaos around us. Infantry Cadets and scribes are screaming and yelling. I ignore them and my eyes seek the figures in pale blue hurrying towards and not away from the dragon. Amongst them I see at least one face I recognise. 

‘Violet! Are you injured?’ Winnifred asks. 

She reaches us and looks up at me as Andarna sinks down onto her belly so the healers can see Liam on her back. Winnifred sets her face in a look of grim determination as she sees my hands, bloody to the wrist, pressed against his abdomen.

‘He was run through with a sword.’ I say.

‘Get Nolon.’ Winnifred orders other healers behind her before turning to me. ‘Will your dragon let us up to carry him down?’

‘She will.’ I nod.

Andarna has tried to make herself as small as possible. Pressed against the courtyard stones with her head lowered and her tail and wings tucked out of the way. I realize she’s trying to be non-threatening to the healer cadets who bravely, but trepidatiously approach with a stretcher.

When Liam is lowered down I slide down beside him and kneel at his head, one of his hands grasped firmly in mine. 

‘It’s going to be okay.’ I whisper to him. He looks up at me through a cloud of pain and squeezes my hand weakly. When Winnifred cuts away Lima’s uniform and exposes the wound I firmly keep my eyes locked on Liam’s. I don't even look away from him when Nolon sinks to his knees at Liam’s side. I go on holding his hand and gazing at his face when Liam is administered a sedative. I watch his eyes go hazy and flutter closed, feeling his hand go slack.

It’s only when Winnifred puts a hand on my shoulder and I realize they are wanting to lift the stretcher and take Liam inside that I look away from his closed eyelids.

I stand numbly, and stagger slightly when I try to put weight on my right leg.

‘Violet, You are injured.’ Winnifred says, steadying me.

‘It’s all right.’ I say. ‘I should go back to my squad.’

Winnifred shakes her head and looks down at my leg with a frown.

‘Stay, let her tend to your wound.’ Andarna instructs. ‘The battle is all but over now, Sgeayl and your Wingleader have arrived at the tower.’ 

‘Alright.’ I say out loud. I let a relieved Winnifred lead me into the healers quadrant.

……………………

Xaden strolled out of the door at the base of the tower emerging from the cloud of shadow cloaking it and back into the sun. He passed the crystal egg off to Garrick before running up Sgeayl’s foreleg and onto her back.

Only when they were both in the air and flying away did he let the shadows drop, allowing the first Wing Cadets within to stop fumbling around in the absolute darkness and discover they had lost.

When Sgeayl had first told him Violet, Liam and Imogen’s squad had been taken by surprise and looked to be outnumbered he had decided to end this as quickly as possible. He had no interest in playing along and fighting his way in. That hadn’t changed when the news had come that Liam was injured. All Sgeayl had told him was that Violet had caught him. He wanted this all over as soon as possible so he could insure the people he cared about were alright.

Xaden had given the order for everyone else to stay mounted and in the air then covered the area surrounding the tower in total darkness and simply walked in. The panicked minds of First Wing Cadets he passed had given him handy directions right to the egg. Anyone who got close enough he simply held back with solid shadows until he was away from them.

Gripping with his hands and knees Xaden held on as Sgeayl banked and turned, leading their wing victorious back to the flight field.

When they arrived he scanned the field and the sky for a small Back dragon. He could see Glane and Imogen, pink hair like a beacon, jumping from her back. He cataloged other dragons, other riders, but could see no small Black Scorpion Tail, no large Red Dagger Tail.

‘Andarna’s rider was also injured.’ Sgeayl informed him coolly. ‘She too is receiving treatment in the school.’

Xaden watched Garrick lifting the crystal egg into the air, Dain beside him waving the flag. Their friends, classmates and allies by chance alone gathered around them in celebration. He wasn’t required here. Turning, Xaden let his feet take him where he wanted to be.

Chapter Text

‘Will he be alright?’ Violet’s voice traveled through the curtained screen that had been placed around her and Liam’s beds. Her tone sounded strained to Xaden.

‘He will.’ Reassured a feminine voice Xaden didn’t recognise. ‘Nolon was able to mend all of the damage. Liam just needs rest now, and to replace the blood he lost.’

These words make the cold knot of worry and fury in his gut loosen just a little. On arriving at the healer quadrant Xaden had asked after the members of his wing. When he had heard how badly Liam had been injured he had considered angrily questioning Sgeayl to ask if she had known. But he knew his dragon well enough to recognise there was little point. If she had decided to withhold information from him she would have done it for a reason and she would not be regretful or apologetic about it now.

Xaden could hear Violet’s sigh of relief through the curtain.

‘His recovery will be faster than yours.’ The other voice noted. ‘We have done everything we can for you, but severe burns can not be completely mended and you will need to regrow the lost skin yourself.’

Xaden couldn’t wait any longer outside the curtain. He had to see Violet, he had to make certain with his own eyes that she was going to be okay. Xaden pulled the screen open.

Violet’s face lit up at the sight of him in a way that melted some of the tension and anger he’d been holding. His eyes scanned her quickly, she was reclined on the bed in a white gown, her hair damp on the pillows. She looked well, uninjured beside the nasty burn. When his gaze reached her right leg his jaw clenched and the anger came back twofold. He would find whoever had inflicted that burn on her and make them sorry. He would also need to check her daggers, that rune to guard against fire had obviously not worked as intended.

When the other woman, a senior healer in pale blue with iron gray hair, noticed him she gave Xaden a stern and unwelcoming look as she put a lid on a jar and moved to apply a dressing to Violet’s leg.

Taking a deep steadying breath, Xaden stepped in and closed the curtain again before pretending that he was just visiting Liam and taking a seat beside that bed, with his back to Violet. He clenched and unclenched his fists as he looked down at his brother, who was pale and unconscious. Liam was neatly tucked under the covers except for the arm where a thin rubber tube delivered him fluids. 

The healer said he had lost a lot of blood. What the fuck had First Wing been doing out there? Deaths were not unheard of in war games but the Wings were not encouraged to try and slaughter each other. Command did still want a graduating class at the end of the year.

‘The one who has been a problem before - Baide’s rider- jumped onto Deigh and stabbed Liam through the side before knocking him off.’ Sgaeyl explained.

Xaden felt cold fury. Barlowe, that sadistic fucker. He remembered the confrontation days ago in commons and wondered if it could be a coincidence he had targeted Liam today.

‘Violet and Andarna were close enough to catch Liam when he fell?’ He asked Sgaeyl. He would have to thank the Black Dragon.

‘No.’ Said Sgaeyl. ‘The girl wielded and caught him.’

He wasn't too angry to feel pride in Violet as he realized what Sgaeyl meant.

‘This is for the pain. If you change your mind.’ The healer said behind him. A glass vial chimed as she placed it on the table beside Violet’s bed. As the healer prepared to leave she moved to pull the curtains closed between the beds.

‘It's alright, Winnifred.’ Violet said, stopping her.

The healer, Winnifred, humphed and Xaden caught from her mind a sense of disapproval, She felt that Xaden was intruding and wanted to make him leave. Although she didn't act on her wish.

When they were alone, with the curtains closed around them Xaden stood and crossed to Violet’s side before taking her offered hand. She looked up at him and her eyes sparkled as he let his other hand stroke her cheek. He dropped a kiss to her forehead and then, because he couldn’t help it, pressed a gentle but lingering kiss to her mouth.

She tipped her face up for his kiss. That way in which she always leaned into his touch, always seemed to try and prolong their contact, did things to him. Contentment at having her close; at feeling her want him close, warmed him and loosened his tension further. The desire to give her what she seemed to ask for, to go on kissing her, made his heart beat faster but he pushed the urge down.

‘Are you alright?’ He asked, letting her hand go for a moment so he could bring the chair to her side. 

Violet nodded. ‘Did we win?’

‘Of course we won.’ He grinned.

That made her roll her eyes and huff like she disapproved of his confident attitude. He wasn't convinced she didn't actually enjoy it. She certainly seemed to, in the right setting, and it didn't stop her from finding him as irresistible as he found her.

‘What happened?’ Xaden asked.

Violet looked from him to Liam behind him, her expressive eyes full of remembered fear.

‘You haven't heard?’ She asked softly.

‘Sgeayl told me what happened to Liam.’

His tone or face must have communicated his feelings because her eyes flashed in fury.

‘I wish I'd seen what was happening sooner. I wish I'd had time to stick a dagger in his heart - if the bastard even has one.’ Violet seethed.

He felt the corner of his mouth lift in a smile. She was as fierce as a dragon, his Violence. He sometimes thought her signet power was too calm to belong to her feisty spirit. She made her signet into a weapon, but it was just that; a tool in her hands to be shaped as she wished. Xaden felt his own abilities reflected who he was at his core and he sometimes thought something like fire wielding would better reflect Violet. But of course fire wielding was too commonplace for his Violence. She was remarkable, one of a kind, complex and multifaceted. In that her signet power did match her.

Xaden squeezed her hand and said solemnly ‘Thank you, for saving Liam. He's important to me.’ 

‘I know.’ Violet said, and she gazed fondly at him.

‘You figured out how to take someone with you when you wield.’ 

‘I did.’ Violet smiled. ‘And Andarna.’

‘And Andarna.’ Xaden looked at her in wonder. ‘Incredible woman.’

Violet blushed a very pretty pink and looked up at him through her lashes in a way that made his mouth dry. Watching him in turn, Violet bit her lip and Xaden had to drag his eyes away from her mouth with some difficulty and fix them on the curtains around her bed.

He reminded himself, sternly, that the infirmary was not an appropriate place to pay worship to his woman. This was just the way it was between them though. The attraction had been undeniable from the moment they had met, although they had both tried to do just that. Attraction that now ran so much deeper than just lust. Xaden shook his head, remembering that he'd once thought this was something he could get out of his system. As if he could ever have enough of Violet. 

‘You haven't told me what happened to you.’ He reminded her.

‘First Wing were out for blood. We were hit by dragon fire. If Andarna hadn't moved so fast, it would have been worse.’

He stared at her in horror. Who the fuck had thought using dragon fire was appropriate during war games? The rune likely had worked then, but had simply been drained of power. It had been designed to give her protection against a fire wielder, not a dragon during gods-damned war games.

‘Also,’ Violet sighed, looking down sadly, ‘The harness was destroyed.’

‘I'm sorry.’ Xaden winced. Tairn has been berating him about the flammability of leather via Sgeayl who was sick to death of the topic. A metal harness was in development, but they had hit a problem balancing the need for strength with the need to minimize weight. Both he and Liam had thought they had longer to find a solution.

‘I feel so bad, everyone worked so hard on it, to help me.’ Violet said.

‘Don’t. A harness can be replaced.’ He said firmly.

Xaden’s shadows alerted him to someone approaching and he straightened in his chair and dropped Violet’s hand before the healer Cadet pulled back the curtain and came in with a tray of food for Violet.

Xaden read his intentions; they were all professional and no cause of alarm. The young man smiled politely and helped Violet adjust her pillows so that she could sit up more and eat the soup set before her. The healer glanced at Xaden and he caught the wistful half-formed dream of the healer himself dressed in black, locked in a passionate embrace with a muscular figure. 

Xaden stopped reading him before the figure could develop his own face and dug out his pocket watch to glance at with a bored expression. He was slightly surprised to see it was dinner time.

‘Cadet Sorrengail, you should take your pain draught.’ The healer chided, having spotted the vial beside her bed. ‘It will help you get a good night's sleep, and sleep is vital to helping the body heal.’

‘Yes, thank you. I know.’ Violet blushed.

The young man helpfully put the vial on the tray beside the soup and left.

Xaden didn’t ask her why she was refusing the pain draught. He could see the answer in her face with no need for the use of his signet. Her eyes moved guiltily from her daggers beside her bed to Liam’s sleeping from. She was uncomfortable allowing her senses to be dulled, her reaction time slowed. She felt an obligation to protect Liam when he couldn’t protect himself.

‘Will you take it, if I stay?’ Xaden asked quietly.

‘But you need to sleep.’ She protested.

‘Not as much as you do.’ Xaden countered. ‘I was going to stay anyway.’

She pursed her lips and was clearly considering how much of a fight he was going to put up. She clearly decided more than she could match, and sagged back in the pillows slightly. 

‘Allright.’ Violet agreed, ‘Go and eat dinner, shower and change. When you come back I will take the draught.’ There was a smile on her face, she did like that he was going to stay even if she objected to him missing sleep.

‘Allright.’ He stood and kissed her briefly. ‘Do you need me to bring you anything?’
She shook her head and simply smiled, lifting her spoon. So he left her to eat her soup.

In the early morning, before the sun had fully risen, Xaden heard Liam stir and turned to his bed. His brother winced and struggled to sit so Xaden came to his side and lifted him with an arm under his back until he was sitting at the edge of the bed.

‘Fuck that hurts.’ Laim gasped, putting a hand over his side.

‘They mended you, but the pain will still be there for a few days.’ Xaden told him.

‘It doesn’t feel mended, it feels like that sword is still in me.’ Liam said. He lifted the cream shirt the menders had put him in and looked down at the silver line. ‘I desperately need a piss.’

Liam groaned again and struggled to his feet, mostly pulling himself up on Xaden’s offered arm. He laughed, briefly, when he saw Violet in the next bed to his, stopping as he winced in pain and Xaden shushed him.

‘I was feeling very special there for a minute, but now I know it’s not me you are here for.’ Liam whispered to him.

‘She was worried Barlowe would be back to finish you off while she slept. So it kind of is you I’m here for.’ Xaden whispered back.

‘Aww, well at least I know Violet loves me.’ Liam said as he walked slowly towards the lavatory. Luckily the bag of liquid he was being administered was on a pole with wheels so Liam could take it with him.

Xaden sat back down between the two beds and picked up the book that he’d been reading, but he didn’t open it again. He felt a little odd knowing that Liam was comfortable saying Violet loved him. It wasn’t that he was jealous exactly, because he knew nothing of a romantic or sexual nature had ever happened between them and he liked that they were friends. He did want, however, to be as confident as Liam was that Violet loved him.

Liam shuffled back and Xaden helped him sit back down. Liam glanced at the book he was holding as he lay down and grinned.

‘I cannot wait to tell Bodhi,’ Liam sighed. ‘You have been sitting by her bed all night reading poetry. He’ll love that.’

Xaden glared at him. But he wondered how much worse the teasing would be if Liam knew he’d been reading the poetry to Violet before she fell asleep. As he glared, Liam's smile fell.

‘Xaden.’ Said Liam, all mirth gone. ‘You have to tell her.’

‘I know, I know. And I will, I’m just waiting for the right time.’ Xaden put the book on his lap and pulled at his hair.

‘You are stalling. And I’m sorry Xaden, but I am going to force your hand.’

Xaden looked up in surprise. 

‘I haven’t forgotten I owe you everything, Xaden. But Vi is my best friend and I owe her my life too now.’ Liam looked past him to the woman sleeping behind him. ‘And she deserves better.’

‘I don’t need you to tell me that I’m not good enough for her.’ Xaden feels himself grow angry.

‘That isn’t what I said.’ Liam said calmly.

‘It sure as shit sounded like it.’

‘I said she deserves better. Better than being lied to by omission. And I can’t keep lying to her for you, I won’t.’ Liam leveled him with a look and Xaden found he couldn’t hold his gaze. ‘So you have until reunification day.’

Xaden sighed and nodded. ‘Alright. I’ll tell her before then.’

‘You better.’ Liam said. ‘Or I don’t think she will ever forgive you.’

Chapter Text

When I wake in the morning Xaden is gone. The sun is streaming in through the windows and when I look around me I see Liam awake, sitting up against pillows in his bed. That’s enough to make me smile despite my disappointment. He gives me a dimpled smile in return. I slip my legs out of my bed and cross to him.

‘I’m so glad you are alright.’ I wrap my arms around Liam gently, mindful that he will still be in pain.

‘Me too. Thank you, for saving my life Vi.’ He says returning the hug.

‘Any time Mairi.’

He hugs me a little tighter and whispers into my hair ‘He had to go. He didn’t want to, but he had a leadership meeting before breakfast.’

I nod, It makes perfect sense. Xaden has a lot of responsibilities and I know why he takes them so seriously. I’m still so grateful he stayed last night, ensuring I felt comfortable to fall asleep. The memory of his voice, gentle and measured, reading tyrrish to me as I feel asleep comes back and I feel warm and tingly all over.

‘Good, you are awake.’ Says Winnifed, coming up to our beds.

The healer doesn’t comment on finding me and Liam in an embrace, but has me return to my own bed so that she can check and re-dress my wound. When she is satisfied with it Winnifred gives me supplies and instructions for it’s care. Then I am allowed to dress in a new uniform with my freshly cleaned dragonscale vest and Liam and I are discharged to return to the Riders’ Quadrant.

When we walk into the gathering hall in commons in time to catch the end of breakfast Ridoc sees us first. He stands up at the table and shouts our names with excitement. Soon all of the squad, not just our year, are crowded around us. There are hugs, and thumps on shoulders, them we are told to sit and pastries, fruit, toast, sausages and coffee and pushed in front of us.

‘Violet!’ Rhiannon exclaims, hugging me as she takes the seat at my left. ‘You can take people when you wield! I saw the whole thing! Feirge and I were racing to Liam, I knew we wouldn’t make it, but then I saw you grab him and disappear!’

‘You’ve been holding out on us, Sorrengail!’ Says Sawyer.

‘I didn’t think it could!’ I tell them honestly, ‘I just knew I had to then, so I did.’

‘What was it like?’ Ridoc asks Liam. 

Liam has his mouth full and he shrugs.

‘Oh Vi, can you take me somewhere?’ Ridoc asks.

This request is echoed by Quinn, Sawyer and even Emery.

‘Alright,’ I laugh, ‘But not right now, later.’

‘We gotta let the girl eat.’ says Rhiannon, and the others back off and let me do just that.

While I work through my breakfast talk soon turns to the harness.

‘What are we going to do about Violet’s harness?’ Sawyer asks, looking from Rhiannon to Liam. ‘We can re-make it but what if the same thing happens again in the next battle?’

‘We could make it out of metal?’ Rhiannon suggests.

‘It would be too heavy.’ Liam shakes his head.

I look between my friends. ‘Maybe another leather harness is okay?  How likely is it that another dragon will breathe fire at us?’

Liam visibly winces.

‘Probably, all too likely.’ Imogen interjects from where she is sitting beside Quinn further down the table. ‘Everyone is talking about what you did yesterday Sorrengail, there is going to be a target on your back. Usually having a signet like yours makes everyone, regardless of Wing, want to be your friend. But during War Games? They will only see you as a threat to be removed.’

I sigh. I can see the truth of her words. Everyone around me can too. The other wings will see unseating me as an obvious way to stop Fourth Wing making use of me and my unique signet.

‘I might have an idea.’ Says Andarna. ‘Can you come meet me at the flight field before your classes?’

‘The idea came from Tinnie and Mira.’ Andarna tells me as she drops some scales on the ground between us. ‘I have been collecting them since the weather got warmer and I started to molt. At Montserrat Tinnie told me how Mira made your vest. Originally I wanted you to have armor made from my scales. But this may be a more pressing need.’

I pick up one of the scales. It’s as large as my hand when my fingers are spread but surprisingly light. The colour is a true, deep, glossy black. It’s also slightly damp from Andarna’s mouth and I wipe it on my trousers.

‘I’m sorry, I could not carry them in my claws.’ Andarna says.

‘It’s alright.’ I tell her with understanding. After all Dragons originally bonded humans for our dexterity, as it gives us the ability to weave their power into wards which they cannot do alone. I lean against the side of her head affectionately and think as I turn the scale over in my hands. The light catches on edges and when I hold it at certain angles I can see a rainbow in the shine.

‘I am fireproof, so if the leather is covered in my scales maybe they can protect it.’ Andarna says.

‘I think it’s definitely worth trying. I’ll ask the others what they think.’ I tell her. I look down at the other scales on the grass. ‘Can I take these?’

‘Yes.’ Andarna blinks at me. ‘I have some more collected and the molting season is not over.’

I take off my jacket and wrap the scales into a bundle to take back to my room before class. 

‘I do also like the idea of having armor made from your scales.’ I tell her fondly. 

She blinks her large golden eye at me slowly. ‘Next molting season then.’

When I tell the squad about Andarna’s idea they are excited. Liam disappears at lunch and at Battle Brief tells us he’s sourced the equipment we need to make holes in the scales. According to Tinnie this is what Mira did to sew his sized-down scales in an overlapping pattern onto the vest. But instead of sewing, Liam informs Sawyer he’ll be riveting Andarna's scales to leather.

That afternoon finds us sitting around Liam’s room after classes have finished for the day, working on a prototype to test how well Andarna’s scales will work to protect the leather. Ridoc and I are at the desk, working together using a drill to make holes in the scales. It has a wheel on the side that needs to be turned while it’s held in place. Although the drill bit does eventually bite into the scale it slides around easily on the hard smooth surface, so Ridoc has to hold it steady and press while I turn.

Rhiannon and Liam are sitting on the bed, discussing changes to the harness design and calculating how much they think this new version will weigh.

Sawyer sits back for a moment and rubs the muscles in his arm. He’s seated on the floor fixing the scales, that we have already made holes in, onto a square of leather. He melts little bits of metal to pin the two together. I smile at him when he looks my way and he returns it. I know this is pushing his use of his signet a little, doing such fiddly work over and over. I’m grateful he’s so willing to help.

‘If diamonds are stronger than Dragonscale should we be covering Violet’s harness in diamonds?’ Ridoc jokes.

‘We probably don’t have the budget for that.’ Sawyer quips back. 

‘I thought Riorson was bankrolling this little project? Maybe he’d like to see his girlfriend flying around with her dragon covered in diamonds. We should ask him just in case he would.’ Ridoc says.

I can’t help but laugh at the mental image of Andarna glittering like a Viscountess at King Tauri’s court. 

‘That wouldn’t be very subtle.’ complains Andarna.

‘I think that number of diamonds is still out of our budget.’ Liam smiles. ‘That one was expensive enough.’

‘And it’s not even sparkly.’ Pouts Ridoc.

He’s right. Although apparently the bit liam fitted at the end of this drill has a diamond in it, it doesn't look different to me to any other piece of metal.

‘Although diamonds are harder than dragonscale they aren't fireproof.’ Rhiannon says.

‘Really?’ I ask, just finishing another scale. I release the clamp holding it in place and pass it to Sawyer. Then I reach for another scale to put on the block of wood protecting Liam’s desk.

‘Yes, diamonds are only metastable at surface conditions and if you heat them up they break down. Also, they are very thermally conductive, so wouldn’t provide any protection from dragon fire.’ Rhiannon explains.

Beside her Liam nods, like what Rhiannon has said makes perfect sense. I roll my eyes. Physics.

‘Isn’t anyone going to comment on the fact that I said Violet is Xaden’s girlfriend and she didn’t correct me?’ Ridoc demands.

‘I’m not not his girlfriend.’ I shrug, and Ridoc gasps.

‘Like, officially?’ Asks Rhiannon, her excitement equal to Ridoc’s. She drops her notebook and moves close to me.

I blush, realizing everyone is looking at me with interest now and nod.

‘Well it’s about time he locked it down. He’s been acting like a possessive boyfriend for months!’ Rhiannon exclaims. ‘Maybe he can lighten up a bit now that he’s officially made things exclusive with you.’

I don’t say anything but feel my face heating more.

‘Maybe even learn to take a joke.’ Ridoc mutters under his breath.

‘What does this mean for next year? Are you two staying together?’ Rhiannon asks thoughtfully.

‘Yes, we will write to each other. Look, I know what you are thinking.’ I tell Rhiannon and Liam. Rhiannon has a look on her face and while Liam is smiling now he's expressed his concerns in the past. ‘Yes. There is the possibility I am just setting myself up for heartbreak. Long distance is hard, I know that. but it feels like it’s worth trying. I know I’d regret it if I didn’t try.’

‘You have it so bad.’ Rhiannon smiles and shakes her head. 

Behind her Liam gives me a curious look ‘He didn’t tell you?’ He asks.

I frown and shake my head. ‘Tell me what?’

‘Xaden told Bodhi and me he’s going to take a posting as close to Basgiath as he can next year, so he can visit you whenever he gets leave.’ Liam says.

I smile widely, but then the smile starts to fall.

Wingleaders are supposed to have the privilege of picking from the available duty assignment at graduation. I can’t help wondering though. While new lieutenants are usually stationed in midland posts, Xaden won’t be a typical fresh graduate. His skills in combat and his powerful signet already make him the equal of far more experienced riders. With the uptick in attacks along the borders will command be happy having a dragon like Sgealy and a rider like Xaden sitting in a midland post for two years?

‘We will see what happens.’ I say. ‘He likely didn’t tell me because he can’t be certain, and he doesn’t want to get my hopes up.’

I look down at the scale as I turn the drill and watch the bit slowly working its way through the scale.

We finish covering the square of leather in scales and after dinner we walk to the flight field. Deigh meets us there and we all watch as the large Red obliges us by breathing fire onto the leather. With powerful beats of his wings Deigh takes off, leaving us looking at our experiment sitting in the smoldering grass.

Once it is cool enough to touch we find the leather is still intact under the scales, although a little dry.

‘It works!’ I tell Andarna.

I can feel her pleasure and excitement clearly along the bond. 

‘I will bring you more scales tomorrow.’ She tells me. 

My friends and I walk back to the dormitory and I say goodnight, although it is early to turn in. Rhiannon smiles, she is going to find Tara and we make plans for some proper girl talk over breakfast tomorrow.

When I open the door to my room it’s dim but not dark inside. A small red magelight gives enough light for me to make out the shape of a body under the blankets and I close the door quickly to shut out the light from the hallway. Xaden is asleep, his breathing deep, and I feel a mixture of contentment and longing looking at him in my bed. I guess he was tired after staying awake all night last night, although he looked surprisingly well when I saw him in passing today. It makes me smile that he still came here, to be with me, rather than sleeping in his own bed. And I am grateful all over again that he made that sacrifice for me.

I am as quiet as I can be, moving around and getting ready for bed. Then I slip under the covers beside him and trace along the lines of his face and the swirls on his shoulder with my eyes. He’s so very beautiful, and he’s mine. I want to sneak forward and press a kiss to his lips while he sleeps, but I don’t want to wake him.

The last few weeks I’ve stopped ignoring the feelings I have for him, but allowing them space in my heart and in my thoughts is still new to me. While I lie still and watch him I try it. I breath in deep, the delicious scent of his skin, and let myself feel it. I name it and the acknowledgement echoes warm and deep in my chest. I love him.

The next morning I stand in front of my armoire while Xaden secures the laces at the back of my dragonscale vest. I meet his eyes in the mirror on the back of the armoire door and I smile. This is our little early morning routine, getting ready together. The domesticity of it makes me giddy.

I reach for my hair brush and wordlessly Xaden plucks it out of my hands and runs it through the strands himself. I let him, and I sigh and close my eyes in pleasure at the feeling of his hands in my hair. When he’s done Xaden sweeps my hair to one side and bends to press a kiss against my neck.

I gasp and open my eyes to see his smug smile. He passes me back the brush and moves to collect his weapons while I braid my hair.

When my hair is pinned I turn to Xaden sitting at the desk, doing up his boots. The last thing he has to do before he leaves. 

‘Violence,’ he loops an arm around my waist and pulls me onto his lap. ‘Are you free after dinner?’ he mumms against my lips before kissing me.

‘Hmm, for you I could be.’ I tease, pecking his lips in return before thinking about the question. ‘Wait, no I'm not.’ 

‘Oh?’

I groan and drop my head on his shoulder ‘We are working on a new harness. It's going to be tight to finish before the next battle of war games.’

‘You won't need it.’ Says Xaden with a smile.

I lift my head ‘Why?’

‘Because a little birdy told me we are on defense next,’ he chuckles and runs his lips over the skin of my neck, making me shiver. ‘And that your Wingleader has a job for you that doesn't require riding your dragon.’ 

‘What job?’ I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. I’m not sure if he’s serious or deserves a smack.

‘One well suited to your talents.’ He assures me.

‘I still can’t tell if you are being serious or making a sex joke.’

‘I wouldn't joke about this.’ His hands slip down my body and stroke over my hips and backside through my uniform. ‘You aren’t going to need the harness.’

I shift on his lap and watch his eyes darken as his hands tighten, holding me in place against him. We are a hair’s breadth from giving in to the building longing between us, ripping each other's clothes off and going back to the bed, schedules and responsibilities be damned.

A knock at my door makes me jump, tearing my eyes away from Xaden’s. I stand from his lap, leaving him to suck in a breath and run a hand through his hair.

I open the door to find Bodhi, looking sheepish.

‘Hi Violet. I’m sorry to disturb you so early, but I am looking for Xaden.’ He says.

I glance at Xaden who nods and stands.

‘He’s here.’ I say, although that is doubtless obvious. I hold my hand out to Bodhi and he gives me his with a puzzled look. That look clears when he feels the pressure and static of the ward on his skin as I pull him through.

‘Is something wrong?’ Xaden asks.

‘Depends on your definition of wrong.’ Bodhi shrugs. ‘Bridget is looking for you.’

Bridget Sykes, the section leader for Fourth Wing Tail Section - under whom Bodhi is executive officer, is someone I know only by reputation.

‘What does she want?’ Xaden frowns.

‘I don’t know, I only know she came to wake me when you didn’t answer your door. Asking if I knew whose bed my cousin was sleeping in.’ At Xaden’s look Bodhi continues. ‘She pretended to believe me when I said you were probably just up early training.’

Xaden sighs and turns to me. ‘I have to go.’

‘I have library duty anyway.’ I shrug.

‘Will you meet me after dinner?’ Xaden asks, dropping his voice. I nod and he cups my cheek. ‘Meet me at the bottom of the stairs to the flight field.’

Does he want to train? I had gotten the impression he wanted to make plans of a more… romantic nature. I search his dark gaze questioningly and Xaden smirks at my puzzled look.

His thumb strokes my cheek and he leans forward to kiss me gently. I blush because Bodhi is standing right there and although Xaden keeps his tongue behind his own lips all of the tension from before is still there, just under the surface.

When he pulls back he doesn’t say anything else, this kiss is his farewell. As I watch him turn away I have to bit my lip to stay silent too.

‘Have a good day Violet.’ Says Bodhi over his shoulder as he follows Xaden out the door.

Chapter Text

I wonder all day what Xaden is planning. And because I can’t just go up to him and ask him I debate with myself if I should be dressing in flight leathers. The weather is warming now and the evenings are getting dark later. If I wear them and we are not flying I’ll be too warm, but I’ll definitely want them if we are up in the air.

By the time we are filling into Battle Brief I am still stewing on this question, and decide to see if I can get Xaden to send me a note. 

I turn in my seat and pretend I’m stretching my shoulders. My eyes scan the back of the room, and easily spot him. He is after all the tall, strikingly handsome one with intense dark eyes that are already watching me. He’s seated in the center of the row, where the other wing leaders and section leaders cluster for Battle Brief. His gaze meets mine with an intensity that doesn’t match the look of bored disinterest on his face. As I go on holding his gaze beyond a casual glance he starts to frown slightly. I turn back to the front of the room and wait.

It’s not long before I feel the shadows brush against my fingers under the table and I take the note they hold. 

You have my attention Violence

I add my response:  What are we doing tonight? And hold the note under the desk for the shadow to whisk off my palm.

You needed to ask me that now? 

I bite my lip on a smile, I can imagine his teasing tone in my head.

What should I wear?

No note comes back for a few minutes, and Markham and Devera start the lesson while I shift impatiently in my seat. Finally I feel the brush against my leg. The shadow slides more firmly and slowly up my thigh than usual, and waits there when I take the note. Goosebumps erupt along my arms as I remember Xaden telling me he can feel with the shadows.

Your uniform will do.

I roll my eyes. Does he think I’m considering wearing a ballgown?

I need to know if I should dress for flying

The response is almost immediate this time.

No

Well that settles it. Content with the answer I direct my attention where it should be and listen to the lesson.
………..

Xaden sat at the back of the large turret room, his attention divided. He kept an ear open to what Devera and Markham were saying but his eyes were on Violet. He traced the lines of her braid, the elegant curve of her neck where it meets her shoulder, visible as she glanced down to make notes in her book; recording the lies and half truths she was told. 

Devera didn't know. He was certain of that. When her shields slipped her intentions were always clear and honest. She wanted to prepare her students as well as she could for what they would face after graduation. If she knew how woefully she was doing that she would have been conflicted.

Markham lied. Xaden avoided reading him because it did no good. The man's certainty that the lives for Pomolish innocents were a fair price for his comfort and safety made him feel physically unwell.

Violet; his dear, sweet and fierce Violet diligently took notes, not knowing the truth from the lies. That would change soon.

If he could go through with it, it would change. He had it all planned out, where he would take her and what he would say, the necessary but repugnant contingency plan in the event that it went badly and she was a danger to their lives and operations. He had taken a page out of Violet’s book; literally as she had shown him her book on poisons and he had seen there the particular combination of herbs he had sourced. Each alone was harmless but combined rendered the target unconscious. The first was already infused into a bottle of wine waiting in his room, the second he had powered in a vial and he would blow it in her face if he needed to. He prayed to any God who listened that he wouldn’t need to. 

He didn’t want to drug her, It made him feel like a monster to consider betraying her trust in him that way. But he didn’t want to hurt her and it was the only way he could think of to subdue her that wouldn't result in that. So If Violet took the news of the venin badly, if he and Liam were wrong and she didn’t agree that they should help Poromiel fight them, then Xaden would drug her. He would carry her back to the quadrant unconscious so Imogen could wipe her memory. Then he would tuck her into her bed and in the morning he would find the words to end things between them.

He didn’t want to do it, but he would, if it was what was needed to keep the rebellion and all the children of the apostasy safe.

………..

The squad and I spend our afternoon, once classes are over, preparing more scales. Progress is slow so I am glad to be able to share the information that we don’t need to rush.

‘But what does that mean, “you won’t need the harness”?’ Rhiannon asks.

‘I’m telling you all I know.’ I shrug, watching her have her turn with the drill.

‘It’s very mysterious.’ Ridoc muses. 

‘I think he’s not supposed to have told anyone anything, so he’s trying to say as little as possible.’ I guess.

‘Allright.’ Rhiannon says doubtful, narrowing her eyes.

‘I’m happy. I don’t want to spend all night doing this.’ Ridoc says. Looking around at everyone else, I can see that it’s a sentiment they share. ‘I would if it meant keeping you alive Vi, but if your very serious and possessive boyfriend thinks we won’t need it to keep you safe, that’s good enough for me.’

‘We will spend our afternoons working on the harness, a bit each day and we will get it done. But we can all still have time to relax, train and socialize.’ Liam suggests.

‘I’m happy with that.’ I say.

‘I thought you might be.’ Liam smiles.

Before dinner I stop by my room to freshen up. I am back to thinking Xaden’s plans may be romantic in nature so I want to look put together for them. Although Xaden always makes me feel beautiful and desirable in or out of it, It would in fact be nice to wear something other than my uniform. I’m not sure why, but I feel like making an effort. Wearing something else is out of the question, so I settle for changing into a clean uniform and re-braiding my hair.
 
First years from Fourth Wing had flight field after lunch and without a harness that meant I got practice wielding to Andarna from freefall. As a result my hair is feeling a little untidy. In the process of brushing it out I manage to knock my hair pins off the corner of my dresser and they scatter over the floor. A number disappear under the armoire and it’s too low to the ground for me to be able to fish them out. I decide I'll have to ask Xaden to fetch them with his shadows later. This leaves me searching my room for enough pins to secure my hair back up. 

I know I have more somewhere, but I don’t find them in my dresser or my armoire. As dinner approaches I pull open my desk draws in desperation and dig through them. I feel a startled jolt of surprise and guilt when I open the top draw and look down on the forgotten letter to Colonel Aetos. 

I lift the letter out and wonder what I should do. It has been weeks now since the squad battle, since I stole and forgot to return this letter. In all that time the letter doesn't seem to have been missed. I wonder if returning it now is the right thing to do, or will it just cause more trouble by bringing attention to the fact I held onto it?

Placing the letter on the desk I return to looking for pins. When I find them in my bedside table I finally braid and pin my hair back up while staring at the square of parchment on the desk.

The truth is I don’t want to return the letter. I have a burning curiosity to read it instead. I have had a mounting suspicion that more is happening at the front than they are telling us since I saw the missive about Summerton. The fact Battle Briefs have become more and more redacted doesn't help.

Curiosity for what might be in this letter, and the possibility that it might shed some light on the real situation overwhelms me and when my hair is secure I pick up the letter on impulse and break the seal on the back and read. 

Col. Aetos.

I have put forward our idea to Gen. M and although he considered it, it seems he will be no more supportive than Gen. S. Disappointingly, He shares her views on the matter; He feels they can be of use to and disposing of them now will be a waste of resources already invested.

Regarding the other matter you wrote of. Have you considered suggesting that the alloy is no longer stored in daggers? Yes, They are easy to transport to the front but it seems to only tempt Poromiel into attacking our outpost by storing it in a form that is usable to them. I understand the argument that in the event that we are attacked the daggers can be used by our forces. However, consider that the enemy never attacks outposts; places where daggers are stored, Instead it is always an un-militarized border town they target.

What use is the alloy formed into daggers if our troops are not present to use them when attacks occur? We had better try and prevent the wards from failing at all. If we distribute the alloy along the border in masses that can not be easily carried away on Gryphon back It may disincentivize Poromiel's raids and as a result the wards will fall less. 

It would also solve your problem. Consider, and let me know your thoughts.

Regards. Col H.

I sit, staring at the page of parchment in confusion for some minutes. I re-read the letter again and again, trying to untangle the logic of it. The words make no sense to me and my mind seems to refuse to find meaning in the contradictions before me. 

How can the author, Col. H, bemoan that attacks never occur at outposts in one sentence while stating the opposite in another?

‘Andarna?’ I ask, reaching out with my mind. ‘Any thoughts on this?’

I can feel her attention, but Andarna remains silent. Which I am not sure how to interpret.

The only thing that makes sense, that explains the letter; makes no sense to me at all. It almost seems like the author of the letter was talking about two different enemies, gryphon riders and … someone else. 

But that’s impossible, isn’t it?

‘Is it?’ Asks Andarna.

‘It must be. How could they hide the existence of another enemy from the entire kingdom?’ 

‘By controlling the information.’ Answers Andarna. ‘By editing the history books and by killing anyone who threatens the conspiracy.’

‘But they couldn’t.’ I argue, my mind reeling at Andarna’s words. ‘How could a conspiracy completely remove the existence of an enemy from history? There would be traces of the truth left behind, clues.’ I insist.

‘And there are. You have one of those traces sitting on your desk.’ Andarna says calmly. 

My eyes fall to the antique tome sitting in its faded cover at the back of my desk. The Fables of the Barrens, the book Jesinia couldn’t find in the Archive. And I remember Jesinia telling me she could find no reference to Venin at all. 

‘No.’ I whisper out loud. I pull the book forward and open it, fanning through the pages till I find one of the large illustrations. In the foreground a dragon and a Gryphon face away from the viewer, before them rears a beast that is a twisted imitation of a dragon; broad leathery wings stretch across the sky as the beast rears up on it’s single pair of legs. And on it’s back rides a hooded figure.

‘Venin aren’t real.’ I say, shaking my head.

Andarna doesn’t speak, but she sends love and compassion to me down the bond. 

‘They - they are fables, stories. Creatures we made up to teach children about the danger of seeking too much power. They can’t be real.’ I say desperately, but my words sound hollow to my ears.

‘I always found it confusing that humans told stories that were true and stories that were untrue.’ Andarna says, ‘How are you supposed to tell them apart?’

‘But, Lyra’s journal. If she and the other first riders were really fighting Venin-’ I don’t finish the thought, because the answer becomes obvious to me. It’s a translation, not the original. The clunky wording, the missing dates, it’s obvious it’s been edited to remove something significant and I'm shocked I never noticed before.

‘How long has this conspiracy existed?’ I ask. 

‘More than four hundred years.’ She tells me gently. ‘Since the war with Poromiel started. It was thought the Venin had been defeated, after the war with the army of the barrens. Navarre raised its wards and closed its borders. When the Venin re-emerged, Navarre hid the truth from its people. Many in the Empyrean also supported this decision, although not all.’

My mind reels at the enormity of the truth, of how far this conspiracy must go. A cold fist constricts my heart; there is no question my mother must be a part of it.

I knock sounds on my door, and I jump up from where I’ve sat at my desk. My heart flies into my mouth as the door opens and Xaden is there. Of course he is, other than myself he is the only one who can open that door. There is a look of concern on his face that clears as he sees me. 

‘You didn’t come to dinner. I was worried.’ Xaden says, stepping in and shutting the door behind him. He looks from my panicked, guilty face to the book open on my desk, the letter beside it that isn’t addressed to me. When he sees the drawing of the Venin riding the wyvern his eyes widen and fly back to my face.

My mouth falls open. 

‘You know.’ I say, my chest tight with betrayal. 

Chapter Text

‘You know.’ I say, my chest tight with betrayal. 

‘Violet-’ says Xaden, taking a step toward me.

‘You KNOW!’ I repeat more loudly. I glare up at him and his hand stops on its way to touch my arm. ‘I knew there were things you weren't telling me, but didn't expect this.’

‘Please, Violet. Let me explain.’ Xaden says, his voice low and rough with alarm.

‘Explain what? I just discovered that everything I thought I knew is a lie, everything!’ I gesture at the desk, ‘The monsters from my childhood stories are real.  Real, Xaden! My mother is part of a four hundred year conspiracy to hide the truth. And you - of all people! - you are part of it?’  My throat tightens.

‘No.’ Says Xaden firmly, and he does touch me now. He puts both his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye. ‘No! I am not a part of it. I’m not working to uphold Navarre’s lies. I swear to you Violet.’

I take a deep, shaking breath as I search Xaden’s face. His expression is open and unguarded, he holds my gaze and as I look into his dark gold flecked eyes I feel myself start to relax, the panic starts to retreat. He sees it, and relief crosses his face before he pulls me into a crushing embrace.

‘It's alright, I know it's a shock. I'm here for you.’ he says.

‘If you are not a part of it then how do you know?’ I say into his shoulder.

He pulls back and cups the back of my neck. ‘My father told me.’ He says softly.

‘Oh.’ I am not sure what I expected, maybe that he had stumbled on the truth the same way I did, but certainly not that. ‘So not because they bring Wingleaders in on the conspiracy?’

‘No, they don’t bring Wingleaders in on the conspiracy.’ His lips twist bitterly.

‘But you have known, all this time you have known.’ I state, feeling hurt.

His face is pure agony. ‘I was going to tell you, Violet. I promise, tonight in fact. That's why I wanted to meet. I’ve been trying to find the right way to tell you and I finally thought I had it.’

And I can see he is desperate for me to believe him. I can feel the urgency radiating from his hand on my neck. But I feel conflicted. My body longs to lean into his touch and take comfort from him. My head however is still in free fall and I'm honestly not sure what to think.

‘What were you going to say?’ I ask cautiously.

‘I was going to ask you if you had noticed the change in the pattern of attacks, if you ever got the feeling something else was going on. I was going to ask if you have noticed anything odd in Lyra’s journal. I was hoping to walk you through putting the pieces together. I can see I was beaten to it.’

His answer is a good one, and I can see he really has given this some thought. It sounds like the truth and not something he came up with on the spot.

‘Andarna helped me put it together.’ I tell him. ‘ I realized some of the recent attacks didn’t match up to what I knew of Gryphons, but it wasn’t until tonight I realized there are two separate groups attacking our borders.’

‘Why do you have a letter addressed to colonel Aetos?’ Xaden asks suddenly, looking at my desk.

‘Oh, I accidentally stole it, or rather kept it, during the squad battle.’ I admit.

‘Did you ‘accidentally’ read the letter as well as steal it?’ Xaden asks amused.

‘Maybe.’ I raise my chin. ‘It’s your fault really, I would have remembered to return the letter after the squad battle if you hadn’t distracted me.’

‘Is that right?’ He grins. ‘Tell me Violence, how exactly did I distract you?’

I remember exactly how, in this very spot, and I feel my body react. I drop my eyes from Xaden’s as my cheeks flush. He chuckles, and then sighs.

‘You must have a lot of questions.’ Xaden says.

‘I do.’ I agree.

‘Let’s go somewhere we can talk about this properly. I’ll tell you everything I can.’

‘Isn’t this room sound shielded?’ I ask in confusion.

‘Yes, but we shouldn’t rely on that.’ He tells me. ‘And dinner is almost over and the dorms will be full of cadets soon.’

I glance at the clock and I see he is right.

‘Alright.’ I turn to my desk. I put the stolen letter in between the pages of the book then I put the book up on the top shelf of my armoire where Brennan’s journal sits. Now I know the significance of it, I can’t just leave it out on my desk. Shrugging on my jacket I turn back to Xaden. 

‘The river bank?’ I ask him. When he nods I hold out my hand for him to take and wield us there.

Xaden blinks in shock and stares around us in wonder. I’ve put us under the tree when I once eaves dropped on him and he lifts the hand I’m not holding to trace the scars that my daggers made in the tree. He looks back at me with a look of admiration that would usually have me smiling and tipping my face up for a kiss.

I don’t want us to get distracted, so instead I step away from him.

‘Alright. How much do you know?’ Says Xaden, masking the fash of hurt on his face. 

‘Andarna told me Venin are real, and that Navarre have been hiding their existence for four hundred years.’ I say through a shaky breath. ‘They attack Poromiel but not Navarre, unless the wards fall.’

‘That’s the basics of it.’ Xaden nods. ‘What questions do you have?’

I have so many questions. I want to ask him to explain the daggers and the alloy Col. H. mentioned in the letter. I want to ask if he thinks Mira knows too. But there is one question, above all, that I need to ask first.

‘Andara said Navarre closed the borders after the wards were raised. The letter made it sound like we hide behind our wards and leave Poromiel to face the Venin alone. Is that true?’ I ask.

‘That is Navarre’s policy, yes.’ He says intensely. There is something else behind his look and those words. The pieces fall into place.

‘But it’s not Tyrrendor’s?’ I guess.

Xaden nods. ‘My Father and other Tyrrish leaders disagreed. They wanted the truth to come out and to aid Poromiel, to fight the Venin with them.’

‘And Navarre killed them for it.’ I say, voice shaking with rage, ‘Said they were traitors and killed them to keep the secret. Even people like Isaac Mairi, who wasn't a soldier. Navarre executed him without a trial. Just because he thought the children of Poromiel had as much right to life as his.’ 

Xaden nods, and there is a look of tenderness mixed with sorrow on his face.

I realize tears are running down my cheeks and I scrub at them angrily while I try to calm my breathing. When he steps forwards and pulls me against him I let him, and I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tight.

‘I’m so, so sorry Xaden.’ I sob. 

‘Hey,’ He whispers, and he pulls back to look at me, stroking my cheek. ‘You have nothing- absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You were a child when this happened.’

‘I know, but still.’

‘Violet, no part of the blame belongs to you. You are different from them, you are brave and fierce. You are so compassionate you crossed the parapet in miss-matched boots to save the life of a girl you just met. It’s why I -’ He stops suddenly, eyes flickering nervously across my face, then takes a deep breath. ‘It’s why I love you Violet.’

My heart skips a beat. I gasp at him as he watches my reaction; his jaw is clenched determinedly but I see a shadow of fear in his eyes. I’ve seen the depth of the grief he carries and I realize how much courage it’s taken for him to say that. He had said he fell for me, but I hadn’t realized he meant in love. But maybe I should have: I think of everything he’s done for me, training me, having weapons made for me, being there for me when I feared for Mira and staying awake all night so I felt safe enough to sleep. 

I feel like everything I thought I knew about the world when I woke up this morning is lying in broken pieces around my feet. But as I look into Xaden’s eyes I realize he’s still the same man I woke up beside. My one point of constancy in this new landscape.

Maybe I can be as brave as him.

‘I love you too, Xaden.’ I say.

Xaden’s eyes widen and his arms tighten around me. ‘You mean that? You’re not just saying it-’

‘I mean it.’ I say, lifting a hand to his face, tracing his jaw. ‘I love you and I want to help.’

A flicker of confusion furrows his brows momentarily. ‘Help with what?’

‘I know you Xaden, you wouldn't stand by and do nothing. I want to help with whatever you are doing for Poromiel.’

‘Do you have any idea how much it means to me to hear you say that?’ He asks, voice unsteady with emotion. He looks at me intensely and his eyes drop to my mouth. ‘Can I kiss you?’ 

I nod and his mouth crashes onto mine. This kiss is fierce and passionate, but it also feels like relief as Xaden angles his head to mine and strokes his tongue deeper into my mouth. His fingers spear into my freshly braided hair at the back of my head tugging on the strands, sending shivers down my spine and no doubt making a mess of it. I moan into his mouth and my knees go weak. 

But Xaden’s arms are there to hold me, and he scoops me up against him, making me gasp in surprise. Breaking the kiss he presses his face into my shoulder and just holds me, breathing deeply.

‘Should I wield us back?’ I ask, running my hands over his head and down the back of his neck. I feel him shake his head.

‘There is something else I have to tell you. Everything else can wait, but I need to tell you this tonight.’ Xaden says into the skin of my neck.

He lowers me to my feet and I find they can hold me up. Xaden gestures to the grass beside the river bank and we sit, close enough to hold hands.

‘You are right, I am doing something to try and help Poromiel. There is a group of us,’ He grimaces, ‘I hesitate to use the word rebellion. It’s more a remnant of one; those whose loyalties were not known by Navarre, the children of executed officers who I can trust and a few riders Navarre thinks died six years ago. One of them is someone you know.’ 

I frown, wondering who he can mean. Having been around riders all my life I have met a lot. To my knowledge I don’t know anyone who sided with Tyrrendor during the rebellion.

Xaden squeezes my hand, ‘I’m sorry Violet, I don’t think there is a gentle way to tell you this. One of the riders that Navarre thinks is dead is Brennan.’

‘What?’ I stare at him, not sure I believe him. But why would he lie to me about this? After everything I’ve already learnt tonight, why would he make this up?

Xaden watches me closely, his face is full of pity and tenderness. 

‘He died.’ I say weakly. ‘Kaori told me Tairn’s rider burned out trying to save him.’

‘He did. He burned out, but he succeeded in saving Brennan.’ Xaden says gently.

‘No.’ I shake my head. 

‘Brennan learnt about the truth during the battle of Aretia,’ Xaden continues, ‘And defected. Afterwards, when he learnt he had been recorded as dead, he decided not to enlighten Navarre.’

‘Are you sure it’s him?’ I ask shakily. ‘Not just someone saying he’s Brennan Sorrengail?’

Xaden’s voice is gentle as he answers. ‘I’m sure Violet, although he goes by Brennan Aisereigh now. I actually know him quite well, I told him myself that you crossed the Parapet and about your signet. He is bonded to an Orange Daggertail named Marbh.’

‘Oh.’ I say in a small voice, and the enormity of it hits me. Joy, sorrow and anger wage within me. As I choke out a sob Xaden puts his arm around me and pulls me against him. The tears flow and I let myself cry. I cry with relief because my beloved older brother is alive and I cry with anguish for the six years of thinking he was dead. I cry for my family too; for Mira and for my father who was broken by Brennan’s death. I also cry for my mother, who I know has done monstrous things but loved Brennan all the same.

Xaden lets me cry into his jacket, and when the tears stop and I hiccup he rubs my back,

‘Are you alright?’ Xaden asks gently. 

I nod, ‘but I don’t think I can take any more revelations tonight.’ 

‘Alright.’ I feel him press a kiss to my hair. ‘You didn’t have dinner, are you hungry?’

My stomach rumbles in response to his words. I’m ravenous.

‘I have chocolate cake in my room.’ Xaden offers.

‘Why do you have chocolate cake?’ I ask, puzzled.

‘It was for our evening, I was going to take you on a picnic in the forest.’ Xaden shrug.

‘Xaden, that’s so romantic.’

‘It is not.’ I can hear the frown in his voice, ‘I was taking you away from potential witnesses.’

‘Wait-’ I sit back from his arms to look at him, ‘Are you inviting me to your room?’

‘Yes Violet, I am.’ Xaden smiles.

‘Good, because I was honestly starting to get suspicious you were hiding something.’ I tease.

‘I was, it’s an armoire full of stolen daggers.’ Xaden grins, then his smile falls. ‘I’m sorry Violet. When I’m not with you at night I’m usually with Garrick and Bodhi and I didn’t know how to ask you not to come to my room looking for me. I was worried you would think I was playing you.’

‘That’s honestly probably what I would have thought.’ I admit.

‘There is only you Violet. You do know that, don’t you?’

‘I do.’ I smile. ‘I love you.’ 

His smile back is beautiful, wide and genuine. ‘I love you too.’ 

With my hand on his shoulder I lift my head to meet his lips with mine. I’m tempted to go on kissing him, but my hunger is now too insistent to ignore. I don’t think I can live on kisses alone, or chocolate cake for that matter. 

Xaden offers to fetch me something more substantial from commons and gives me directions to his room on the third year's floor. ‘The wards won’t let you in, but you can just wield through.’ He smirks.

We walk back to the courtyard level of the quadrant together, then I make it up to the third year floor alone without running into anyone. Xaden’s room is at the end of the corridor and I place my hand on the door and feel the resistance of the ward before wielding through.

I step in and look around, taking it all in. The room is easily twice as big as mine, with a bed so large I shake my head that he’s been sharing mine without complaining. It’s meticulously tidy and impersonal in how sparse it is. There is nothing left out on his desk and the only things of Xaden in the room are the books I recognise by their covers sitting on the bookshelf beside standard textbooks.

The space beside the door is taken up by a weapon rack bearing what must be hundreds of daggers, they are all different makes and types and I realize he must have won all of them in challenges.

Walking to the window at the far end I take in the view. This room overlooks Basgiath and the structures below are dark against the deepening blue sky. Lamps and candles coming on in the other quadrants light windows like stars.

When Xaden comes in bearing a plate I’m still at the window. He crosses to me and presses a kiss to my forehead. He hands me the plate and I sit at the table by the window and attack the cold meat, bread and cheese with enthusiasm. 

‘How many challenges have you won?’ I ask him.

Xaden raises one eyebrow and glances where I gestured at the weapons rack. ‘A better question would be how many have I lost.’

I roll my eyes, ‘How many have you lost then?’ 

‘None, Violence.’

I do have to admit that’s pretty impressive. I’m not going to tell him that, but his smirk grows into a grin anyway at my expression.

I finish eating while Xaden disarms and packs all of his weapons away, checking all their edges as he does. He takes off his boots and puts them in the armoire. 

As I finish and stand Xaden comes to me with a small cloth bag.

‘What is this?’ I ask as he holds it out to me. The fabric feels like silk and it fits easily in my hand.

‘You said no more revelations tonight, so for now it is just a gift.’ Xaden says.

I open the drawstring and tip out the contents. A small gold pendant on a chain lands on my palm. The circle of the pendant is engraved with a complex and intricate rune that I can't begin to pick apart the meaning of.

‘It's beautiful. Thank you.’ I say. 

Xaden picks up the chain and opens the clasp. I turn so he can fix it around my neck. He kisses the nape of my neck where the clasp rests and it sends sparks all over my body.

My curiosity is piqued and I am tempted to ask him what the rune means. But I'm also emotionally drained from tonight's discussions. As I turn back to face Xaden his fingers trail along my shoulder and the look on his face is heated. I decide I want to let myself take comfort in the pleasure and closeness that look is offering.

‘Will you tell me what it means, tomorrow?’ I ask him.

‘I will.’ Xaden says. 

I tip my face up and reach up to loop my arms around his neck as he kisses me. Xaden’s lips move softly, with teasing slowness against mine. He walks backwards towards the bed, bringing me with him with one hand at my neck and the other on my hip. When Xaden’s legs hit it, he sits, pulling me with hands on my hips to stand between his legs.

Xaden looks up at me, with his soft smile on his face that is just for me. ‘Will you say it again?’ He asks.

‘Say what?’ I lift an eyebrow, ‘That I love you?’

He nods, and his hands slide up to my waist and down again.

‘I love you, Xaden.’ I put my hands on either side of his face and his eyes seem to shine with emotion. 

‘I love you Violet,’ He replies, and his voice is rough and low. ‘I love you so much.’

I kiss his forehead, ‘I love you.’ I kiss his cheek. ‘I love you.’ Then the bump of his nose and his chin. ‘Love you - love you.’ Finally I hover my mouth over his and whisper it. ‘I love you.’

He surges up and captures my mouth with his in a searing kiss. 

I melt into him. Tangling my fingers into his hair and giving every ounce of passion I have to this kiss. I start to move onto his lap, and forgetting my injury I move to straddle his legs. I flinch as I try to put weight on it and gasp - in a bad way- into Xaden’s mouth.

In an instant he lifts me and spins us, lowering me gently on the bed on my back.

‘Are you alright?’ Xaden asks, looking down at me.

‘I’m alright, I just forgot about it.’

‘I’m afraid you can’t ride me anymore Violence, not until your leg is better.’ Xaden smirks down at me. ‘I’ll try to make it up to you, I know how much you’ll miss it.’

‘Well, you don’t exactly complain about it.’ I retort, squirming under his gaze.

‘Why would I complain? I love watching you ride my cock.’ He presses his hips to mine, letting me feel how hard he is through our clothes.

I moan and wrap my legs around his hips, holding him there. 

We are a frantic flurry of hands, undoing buckles and tugging off clothes. Hot, needy kisses are exchanged when we can. When my pants are gone Xaden slips his fingers inside my underwear and I swallow his moan as he feels how wet I am. When nothing is left between us except the warm golden pendant resting between my breasts Xaden lines his hips to mine and while holding my gaze thrusts into me in one firm stroke. 

‘Xaden,’ I moan, grasping his neck and fisting the blankets below me as he starts to move, taking up a slow, steady rhythm that has me gasping and arching into him with every thrust.

He fucks me hard and slow. He thrusts into me, over and over, driving us up the bed and pushing every thought but him and the pleasure from my mind.

He bends to kiss me, ‘I love you,’ He whispers against my lips.

I’m beyond words, incapable of speech and consumed by the pleasure building with every stroke of him into me. I hold his gaze and I hope he sees it there on my face and I gasp.

Sliding one hand down my body Xaden palms my ass, lifting my hips slightly to change the angle and I swear I see stars. Xaden shifts back to kneel, bringing me with him with shadows and hands. He gently unwraps my legs from his waist and lifts my calves over his shoulders. He can take me more deeply at this angle, every stroke devine, maintaining the same steady rhythm that has me riding the edge of ecstasy.

I’m faintly aware words are falling from my lips without my permission, I moan his name and beg him to let me come.

‘Anything for you, Violet.’ Xaden slides one hand across my hip and trails his fingers to where our bodies join. His thumb works gentle strokes over my clit.

Finally the wave of my pleasure crests and breaks over me. My back arches and my legs shake as I come apart. 

But Xaden doesn't stop and he maintains his rhythm, thrusting into me as I clench around him. And the way he does, brushing that place inside me with every tortuous stroke pushes me over the edge a second time. I scream his name and he does come with me the second time, fingers tight to the point of pain on my hip as he gives himself over to it.

I’m utterly melted into the blankets of his bed and after Xaden lowers my legs and drops beside me he has to gather me too him because my limbs won’t move. I sigh happily though, as he tucks my head under his and wraps his arms around me.

I hum against him. ‘That was, mmmm so good.’ I feel Xaden laugh.

‘We should clean up.’ Xaden murmurs into my hair. 

But I’m too warm and relaxed to move, and as I feel sleep creep in at the corners of my mind I’m aware of Xaden using his shadows to drape the blanket over us.

Chapter Text

‘What does it mean?’ I ask, brushing my fingers over the golden pendant.

Xaden digs the fork we are sharing into the chocolate cake and lifts it to my mouth. He watches me lean forward slightly to accept the forkful. I note his eyes moving from my mouth to the locks of my hair that tumble forward over my shoulders to spill across the shirt I’ve borrowed from him.

The shirt is almost as long as my nightgown on me and it leaves my legs exposed where they rest on the bed beside him. 

‘Runes can be more than decorative.’ Xaden answers while I eat, ‘They are a way of using the power we channel from our dragons. A wielder shapes the power into the runes, which give it specific purpose and function. It is a practice that was well known by Tyrrish riders before unification of Navarre, and practiced in secret afterward.’

‘Do all the runes on my daggers have functions?’ I ask, intrigued. 

Xaden nods and takes a bite of cake. It's a good cake, a rich chocolate from a bakery in Chantara that Xaden says is the best he’s found near Basgaith. Since we never ate it last night we are having it for breakfast. This is simply practical, so it doesn’t go to waste of course, not because neither of us want to leave this room to find other food.

I think about his answer for a minute. I can make a guess at what some of those runes on my daggers might do, but not the one on my necklace.

‘Could you teach me to make them?’ I ask.

‘If you want.’ Xaden says, his face pleased. ‘I have time to begin teaching you to temper and Liam will be able to work with you on combining and weaving more complex rules after July.’

 ‘So what does this one do, or is it just pretty?’ I indicate the one on my necklace again with a smile.

‘It’s not just pretty,’ Xaden smirks. ‘It’s based on Bodhi’s signet, which is the ability to counter other signets.’

‘Really? That’s incredible. And you can make a rune that replicates that?’ I ask.

‘With Liam’s help, yes. He worked with me on the rune and Bodhi and Imogen helped us test it; It’s tuned to counter the use of specific types of signets against you. Essentially, it will act like a shield, to keep everything up here-’ he gently taps my temple, ‘private while you work to build-up your own.’

I know he means mind based signets. Imogen must have helped test it because she can erase recent memories. I realize I know things now that could get people killed and my smile falls. 

‘You are worried about Dain.’ I state.

Xaden nods.

‘I understand why, although I like to think he wouldn’t steal my memories, not on purpose anyway.’ I say and read the doubt on Xaden’s face.  ‘You disagree?’ 

A complicated look passes over Xaden’s face, like he’s deciding exactly what to say. ‘The way he looks at you, I don’t think he’s accepted that he missed his chance there.’

‘And that makes you think he’d steal my memories?’ I ask, a little offended on Dain’s behalf.

‘I think, given the opportunity, he would be sorely tempted to look in your head.’ Xaden explains. ‘Jealousy can bring out the worst in people, Violence.’

‘Dain doesn’t know we are together.’ I say. When gives no more answer than a raised eyebrow while he eats more cake I ask, ‘He doesn't, does he?’

‘Does he have to think we are together to be jealous?’

I consider that. I think of Dain’s unhappy expression whenever he sees me train with Xaden, of his telling Mira at Montserrat. I had thought it was because of his distrust of Xaden, but I guess it could be jealousy. A jealousy that has been building since the night I was attacked in my room and I didn’t go to Dain for help because Xaden had offered it first. I wonder if he sees Xaden, and not the way the quadrant has changed us both, as the cause of the distance between us now.

‘And that’s now, not even considering what will happen next year.’ Xaden adds.

‘What will happen next year?’ I ask, puzzled.

‘I thought we agreed, when I graduate I am going to write to you.’ Xaden says looking at me with a puzzled expression.

‘What does that have to do with Dain?’ I ask, frustrated. ‘He’s not going to be sitting with me at breakfast while I read your letters.’

‘Violence you do realize, don't you, that writing to you will mean command will know we are together?’ Xaden asks. ‘They will see our letters, I’m sure all of my correspondence will be read and letters to you won’t be excepted from that. They will be suspicious of my intentions towards you. You might not think Aetos would want to steal your memories for himself, but what if he’s commanded to do it by your mother?’

I feel the blood drain from my face. I hadn’t considered that possibility. The truth is I hadn’t really considered what writing to each other would mean; that our relationship would be out in the open because we did. But Xaden is right, I know all mail in and out of Basgaith passes through a single room in the archives. Frequent letters between Lieutenant Riorson and Cadet Sorrengail will be noticed and raise questions. I frown at the thought of our letters being read by scribes and their contents reported to anyone in command, but least of all my Mother.

‘I hadn’t considered that.’ I admit. ‘And you are right, Dain wouldn’t refuse a direct command like that.’ The thought of him viewing my intimate memories makes me shudder and the idea of him stumbling onto something incriminating is worse.

Xaden frowns at me as I reach for the fork to help myself to more cake from the plate on his lap. ‘Violet, if it's too much - if you don't want to be under that level of scrutiny; I would understand.’ Xaden says with a soft, sad tone.

I shake my head and put the fork down, shifting closer to him and cupping his cheek. ‘I’m not having second thoughts.’

Closing his eyes Xaden leans against my hand, but there is a furrow in his brow.

‘I mean it.’ I say firmly. ‘I don’t care what anyone thinks about us being together - including my mother - or if they read my letters. I love you Xaden, and I want to be with you.’

‘I don’t deserve you.’ He says, opening his eyes to look at me.

‘It’s my heart, I get to decide who is worthy of it, and I’ve chosen you.’

‘You have everything I have to give, Violet.’ Xaden says in a rough voice.

‘It’s all I want.’ I tell him. ‘You are all I want Xaden.’

A shadow lifts the plate away and Xaden wraps his arms around my waist, pulling our bodies closer and capturing my mouth with his.
…………………….

It’s with trepidation that I step foot in the Archive this morning, pushing the library trolley before me. 

‘I’m here for you Violet.’  Andarna assures me. She sends me love and her determination and I’m grateful. 

I push the trolley over the familiar marble floor, past the tables I know so well and look around me like I’m seeing the space for the first time. I’ve always considered this place sacred, a monument to truth and knowledge; everything my Father dedicated his life to and raised me to believe in. It makes my heart ache to know what a lie that is.

‘Do you think he knew?’ I ask Andarna. ‘Do you think he helped them with the lie?’

‘I do not know Violet.’ Andarna says sadly.

I can and have accepted that my mother must be neck deep in this conspiracy. The thought that my father was too is so much harder to stomach.

I was sorely tempted to stay in Xaden’s arms all day and hide from facing this, but he had informed me with a long-suffering sigh that people would start knocking at his door if he wasn’t present for formation. With some reluctance I quickly showered and dressed before fetching the library cart after the rest of the quadrant was already eating breakfast. Distance wielding comes in handy this morning, I at least saved time not having to walk all of the way here.

When I talk to the first year scribe cadet on duty I can’t help wondering if they know the truth and I realize this is how it will be from now on; everyone I meet I will be suspicious of. I’ll analyze the things they say and wonder how much they know, try and guess if they believe the lives of Polomish children are worth less than Navarrian. 

‘It will get easier.’ Andarna says to me as I leave the Archive.

‘How can it possibly get easier?’ I ask, disbelievingly.

‘With time, Violet. It’s still fresh, you are still processing the shock of it. You will see, this will be easier tomorrow.’

I desperately hope she is right.

‘I am always here for you, anytime you need we can go flying together.’ Andarna reminds me.

‘Thank you.’ I tell her.

I’m late for breakfast, in fact I only arrive in time to grab a cup of cooling coffee and drink it quickly before formation. 

‘Violet, you have completely missed breakfast.’ Says Rhiannon with concern, walking by my side to formation.

‘It’s alright I already ate.’ I say happily.

Rhi narrows her eyes at me and on her other side Ridoc wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. ‘Breakfast in bed?’

‘You missed dinner last night too.’ Rhiannon says. ‘I came by your room afterwards but you didn’t answer. I was worried.’

‘I’m sorry I was out by then.’ I wince. I don’t say who I was with but that is not necessary. I feel horrible, Rhiannon looks at me with concern and I can’t give a good explanation for last night, not for missing dinner.

‘If you two are going to start making a habit of missing meals together, people are going to notice.’ Rhiannon says in a low voice. 

She has a good point, and I know it. I bite my lip, struggling with the desire to tell her something, to in some way explain what I can’t explain. ‘It won’t become a regular thing.’ I say hesitantly.

‘It better not.’ Rhiannon rolls her eyes. ‘I get that it’s good Vi, and I'm happy if you are happy, but don’t let yourself get too distracted. Allright?’

I don't say anything more as we step into the courtyard and Rhi lets me be. I stew in my own thoughts through formation and when it ends it's Liam who is at my side as we walk to class.

‘How are you holding up?’ Liam asks me softly.

‘Fine thanks?’ I give him a funny look and he returns it with a sympathetic smile.

Wait… Xaden can't have told him about last night can he? He hasn't had time. He would have only made it to breakfast slightly before I did.

Liam must see the wheels turning in my head as I frown at him. He offers me his arm and dips his head to say in a low voice. ‘Andarna told Deigh.’

‘Oh,’ I say softly.

‘I think you need your friend.’ Andarna admits. 

There isn't really anything Liam can say, we are in the middle of a stream of other riders, winding through the corridors to class. But it's good to have him there and Liam’s arm under mine as we climb the stairs of the academic wing is comforting and supportive.

………………

Battle Brief is the hardest part of the day. As I sit and Andarna listens with me to Markham talk through today's exercise I catalog the lies and the omissions that hide the truth. When Devera asks for questions I can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t give away what I now know. I frown, and I find myself reaching for the pendant under my uniform.

I know Xaden didn’t give it to me with the intention of it being a love token, but it is a comfort to touch it and run my finger over the lines of rune.

Liam gently bumps his knee against my leg and I glance at him. His eyes lift from the circle of gold in my fingers and he grins at me. The smile is infectious and I feel myself calming and smiling in return.

When class is over Liam sticks to my side and I link my arm through his as we walk with the others to the dormitory wing.

‘Can we talk?’ I ask as we step into the rotunda. ‘I mean properly, later.’

‘Of course Vi.’ Liam smiles.

‘Hurry up Mairi!’  When I look up I see Ridoc waving from the corridor into the dormitory wing. Sawyer and Rhiannon are waiting for us too.

‘Sorry, it’s my fault. I’m slowing him down.’ I smile.

‘How is the leg?’ Ridoc asks, looking bashful and glancing down at my right side.

‘Not too bad, all things considered.’ I say.

‘I’m sorry, we shouldn’t rush you.’ Ridoc says. He takes my outside arm and tucks it into his elbow so I’m walking with him and Liam on either side.
……………………

‘So, how are you holding up?’ Liam repeats his question from this morning as we settle by the bank of the river. It's after dinner and Liam and I have gotten away from the citadel to finally talk openly.

‘With discovering everyone in my life has been lying to me?’ I ask sweetly. ‘I’d say pretty well.’

‘I guess technically that includes me.’ Liam winces. 

‘It does.’ I glare, and punch him half-heartedly on the arm.

‘I’m sorry Vi. I wanted you to know, but I had to give him the chance to tell you himself.’ Liam explains.

‘I know. You don’t need to explain it to me Liam.’ I say, ‘I’m not angry with you.’

‘And you're not angry with him either?’ Liam asks tentatively.

‘I'm not.’ I confirm and Liam lets out a sigh of relief.

‘I was worried, when Deigh told me you had discovered it with Andarna’s help.’ Liam admits.

‘Xaden was going to tell me.’ I say. ‘I believe him when he says that. That he went to the trouble of making the necklace proves that he wanted me to know. Thank you, by the way, for your part in it.’

‘You are welcome.’ Liam says gracefully, inclining his head.

‘I'll thank Bodhi and Imogen too.’

‘Don’t worry about Im.’ Liam laughs, ‘she said not being executed because “Aetos can't keep is hands to himself” is all the thanks she needs. Bodhi would appreciate it though. And he let Imogen erase almost half an afternoon from his memory while we were testing the rune.’

‘Oh wow.’ I don't know Bodhi well myself and I'm touched and surprised by his willingness to help. ‘I will be sure to thank him.’ 

‘He likes that you make Xaden happy.’ Liam says grinning and puts an arm around my shoulders. ‘And I'm just really, really glad you know and I don't have to lie about knowing your brother anymore.’

I gasp and turn.

Liam's smile falteres, ‘Xaden did tell you about Brennan, didn't he?’

‘Of course he did. I didn’t realize you knew him too.’ I suddenly feel incredibly jealous that Liam and Xaden both know Brennan and have seen him more recently than I have. I suddenly miss him terribly.

‘I wish I could see him.’ I say longingly.

‘He misses you too.’ Liam rubs my shoulder soothingly.

‘How do you do it?’ I ask, watching a dragonfly skim the water close to the shore. ‘In class when you hear things you know are lies? How do you keep a straight face, how do you not lose your temper?’

‘Practice?’ Liam shrugs.

‘Practice?! That's it? You don't have any other advice for me?’ I ask in frustration.

‘I don't know what to tell you, Vi. Do you remember I told you we were drilled in Navarrian history at Tirvainne?’

‘By that bitch of a tutor, yes.’ I mutter.

‘Well, that was practice.’ Liam grins. ‘Lindell was trying to prepare us as best he could for Basgaith, so he brought in tutors to lecture us about false history and we had to listen and write our reports without reacting.’

There is a lot to unpack from that. I hadn’t realized Duke Lindell whom they had been fostered by was sympathetic to their - now our - cause. But Xaden had told me there were people who had managed to keep their true loyalties secret and he must be one of them.

‘Is that why Xaden is so good at his Wingleader face?’ I ask thoughtfully.

‘His Wingleader face?’ Liam laughs.

‘You know what I mean.’ I roll my eyes. ‘That blank bored look he wears to hide what he's feeling.’

‘I do, but he was raised at court in Aretia Vi, It's his aristocrat face. He was already doing it when I met him.’

‘Oh, so he didn't learn it at Tirvainne?’ 

Liam shakes his head. ‘I'm sure three years of practice didn't hurt.’

It doesn't make me feel better, or more like I'll be able to survive navigating the new world I've found myself in, to know Xaden has been practicing his entire life to be as good as he is at hiding his feelings.

It's funny to think of Xaden as anything other than the intense young man I know, but I think of him as a child wearing that face around his father’s courtiers and diplomats and it fits. I smile a little at the idea of Xaden as a child; I imagine him with his face softer as it is in sleep, unmarked by Sgaeyl's scar and a genuine smile coming easier to his lips. I picture his eyes bright with laughter and less troubled. It's a picture that makes my heart ache keenly with grief.

‘Im sorry.’ I say out loud.

‘For what?’ Asks Liam, puzzled.

‘I've spent all day feeling sorry for myself.’ I tell him. ‘I've been focused on how this affects me, about how people have lied to me, about how hard I find it to know the truth. It's nothing to what you and Xaden and others have been through. This truth has cost you everything.’

‘It's still alright for you to be upset Violet. Our pain doesn't diminish yours.’ Liam pats my arm gently and gives me a shrug and a sad half smile. He isn't as good as Xaden at hiding what he thinks and I can see he thinks there is still time for this truth to cost me everything, too.
………..

Andarna is correct and the next day it is easier to walk into the Archive. It's easier to sit in class and it’s easier to hear the lies and know them for what they are. It’s still tiring though and I find myself more mentally weary at the end of every day.

On the last day before Fourth Wing's second battle in War Games, three days after I learnt the truth about the war with Poromiel, I've even managed to ask a question in Battle Brief. And when Professor Devera smiles at me in response I manage not to feel like vomiting.

The new harness won't be ready for tomorrow. That afternoon there is trepidation amonst my squad becasue of it. We planed for this, we knew we wouldn't make this deadline; but there are still axious looks exchanged by my friends when they think I'm not looking. Slightly too-wide smiles and over confident boasts for my benifit. Despite this, it isn't axiousness about tomorrow and the unknown challange we will face that stops me from sleeping that night.

‘When can I start to help?’ I ask Xaden in a whisper when we are lying close in his bed. My back is against his chest and his arms are wrapped firmly around me.

‘When War Games are over.’ He sighs. ‘You can start helping then.’

‘I want to do something useful.’ I can't help huffing slightly in frustration.

‘Hey,’ Xaden leans up to press a kiss on my temple. ‘You will. We aren't doing anything at the moment. Bodhi, Garrick and I don't have time during War Games and there is too much scrutiny on the quadrant right now.’

I relax a little at that. I was a bit worried he was just ignoring my offer of help.

‘Sometimes we just have to be patient, wait and survive so we can act when opportunity comes.’ Xaden says softly.

I nod. We lie quietly for a while. Xaden’s breathing doesn’t settle into a pattern of sleep so I know he's still awake too.

‘Can I ask you something?’ I ask.

‘You can ask me anything.’

I turn and Xaden loosens his arms so I can lie facing him. I can’t quite see him in the dark but I can feel his breath on my cheek.

‘Under the oak tree, when you caught me listening, was that why you let me live?’ I ask. I don’t say Brennan’s name but Xaden will know I’m asking if he spared my life for my brother's sake.

I feel him tense at my words and he’s quiet long enough that I begin to think he might not answer. 

‘It was one of the reasons.’ Xaden finally admits.

‘What were the others?’

‘I didn’t want to kill you.’ Xaden says softly. ‘Isn’t that reason enough? You were so fierce and brave when I confronted you and that feisty stubborn look, well, it always makes me want to kiss you.’

‘Even then?’ I ask in surprise.

‘Even then.’ Xaden confirms, and I can hear the smile in his voice now. ‘I found you captivating. And it had nothing to do with anyone you are related to.’

I sneak forward trying to find his lips in the dark, and I end up kissing his chin and giggling.

‘When did you first start to trust me?’ Xaden asks softly. ‘When did you believe I wouldn't hurt you?’

‘The night my signet manifested.‘ I answer immediately, ‘ You helped me when you didn’t have to.’ 

‘I had helped you before then.’ He says. ‘But that makes sense.’

I bite my lip, then ask another question. ‘How long have you loved me?’ 

Xaden’s chest rises and fall under my hands before he answers. ‘I’m not sure.’ He admits. ‘By the time I realized I loved you I'd been in love for a while. Does it usually happen all at once?’

‘I think it's different for everyone.’ I laugh softly. ‘I fell in love with you gradually, a little more with every day.’

His lips find mine in the dark and he kisses me tenderly and sighs contentedly. I nuzzle into his arms and he tucks my head under his chin.

I'm starting to drift off and I'm not expecting Xaden to speak again when he does.

‘I think I started to love you that night in the snow.’ says Xaden softly.

‘When I threw a snowball at you?’

‘Yeah,’ He says fondly, ‘then.’

Chapter Text

It was wonderful, waking up with Violet in his arms. Xaden slept better with her comforting warmth against him but his dreams were still troubled. Waking from memory and nightmare to the pleasant reality of the woman he loved was always wonderful. Wonderful and tortuous. Her long, loose hair was everywhere, in his mouth and tickling his nose. Xaden buried his face further into the silky strands and took a deep breath as his arms tightened and he held her sleeping form more firmly against his chest.

He lay there a few moments, enjoying the feel of her against him and trying to ignore the urge to slip his hand up under her nightgown to better appreciate the supple curves of her body. He dreamt of waking her with feather soft kisses along her shoulder and neck - of increasing the pressure of his lips until he felt her shifting with purpose against him. He wanted to kiss her until he drew soft moans from her and she arched her back and wiggled her perfect ass into him.

Xaden groaned at the thought and tried not to grind his erection against that perfect ass. 

There wasn’t time. There was never time in the morning. Not to treat her how he wanted; not to watch her come apart slowly under his touch and savor every sound she made. There especially wasn’t time that morning, when he had an appointment in Panchek’s office before formation and a meeting here with his Wing’s leadership afterwards. He’d have to wake her and, instead of ravishing her, send her on her way. Before he met with command Xaden needed to set his room in order.

Being neat was a habit Xaden had learnt early in life. His father had taught him that taking care of his belongings was important; it showed respect to the people who had made them and likewise keeping his room tidy showed respect for the people who helped run the house. Fen Riorson had not allowed his son to be the kind of spoiled aristocrat that made more work that was necessary for the household staff. He had taught Xaden that the contribution everyone made to the duchy, whether they be farmer, blacksmith, soldier or maid, was important and deserved his respect. After all, a duke would have no time to see the affairs of an estate or province if he had to grow his own food and wash his own clothes.

At Travine, after his father’s death, keeping the room assigned to him neat and ordered had been one of the few things Xaden had control over. It became a comfort to him to maintain the military discipline his father had instilled. Weapons were sharpened and oiled every day- even when they were not used. Clothes were folded and put away immediately. Books always returned to the shelf when he was finished reading them. His bed was always neatly made, covers smooth and corners tucked tight.

It was at Basgiath that the habit became one of survival. He kept his space sparse and impersonal, giving away nothing that could be used against him. When his room was meticulously clean it was easier to ensure secrets stayed hidden. Now that he was Wingleader and he was expected to regularly hold meetings in his room, that was more important than ever.

Every morning, after he kissed Violet goodbye and she left his room Xaden erased every trace that she had been there. It was necessary, whether or not he had a meeting planned with the Wing’s leadership. He had to ensure if anyone came by they wouldn’t know someone - especially not who - had spent the night.

He truly hadn’t minded sharing her smaller bed. After all they didn’t use all of his the way they slept, curled around each other. It had also been simpler, more straightforward for that to be their space. He would suggest to her they go back to that arrangement but he knew what it meant to Violet to be welcome in his room. Also, he had to admit to himself,  he liked coming back here in the evening to find Violet lounging on his bed reading his books. He liked that she belonged there.

A part of him, a reckless and possessive part, wanted to flaunt what they had- consequences be damned- for all the quadrant to see. He wanted to leave his pillows smelling of her perfume and walk her to class with his arm wrapped around her waist. He wanted to not care about incriminating silver and brown hairs on his uniform or his blankets. He wanted to see her standing in formation with his flight jacket draped over her shoulders; ensuring Aetos and everybody else knew she was in his bed and only his name was on her lips.

But he loved her too much to make her bear the consequences of his possessive urges. She would be the one who suffered. At best the rumors would follow her for the two years he wasn’t here to teach a lesson to anyone who ran their mouth. Worst-case was some would hurt her inorder to hurt him.
 
So Xaden would change the bedding so his pillows would no longer smell of citrus and vanilla. He’d ensure that there were no hairpins on his bedside table and no item of her clothing had been left behind on the floor. Lastly, his shadows would sweep over his uniform and the room, collecting any silver hairs that might catch the eye against black fabric. When the room was ready to receive the rest of the Wing's leadership he would head to his meeting with command, to officially learn what today’s wargame challenge would be.

……..

‘You are joking, right? Please tell me you are joking.’

Xaden met the eye of his executive officer, Declan, with a raised eyebrow and incredulous expression. The other man sighed, and muttered a curse under his breath. It had always been a futile hope, it wasn’t Xaden’s leadership style to joke. 

After formation the Wing’s section leaders and executive officers had assembled to hear what their task would be for their second wargame battle. All the faces around the table in Xaden’s room wore serious expressions. They were thinking the same thing, with varying levels of confidence they were wondering how they would manage to pull this off.

‘Do you think this is because of you? Because of what you did in the last battle?’ Asked Bridget, leader of Tail Section. She had a thoughtful look on her face as she addressed Xaden, worry slightly creasing her brow over intelligent dark eyes.

Xaden nodded in agreement. ‘I think it is.’ He admitted.

Bridget hummed and nodded once in acknowledgement as her frown deepened.

‘It was unwise of you to pull that kind of stunt in the first battle.’ Said Ellis, the leader of Claw Section, with a sour twist to her lips. ‘You should have held back displaying what you were capable of until we really needed it.’

‘It’s the Wingleader’s prerogative to choose to preserve lives over future strategic advantage.’ Bridget said, narrowing her eyes across the table at Ellis.

‘I’m just saying, if he hadn’t shown off the other day then we wouldn’t have been in this situation now.’ Ellis frowned.

‘How would we have fought today, if First Wing had slaughtered our ranks?’ Asked Garrick, ’With the way First Wing were fighting we would be down multiple squads had Riorson not done what he did.’ 

‘Of course you are happy,’ Ellis scoffed. ‘They were your squads he saved when he stormed that tower single handed.’

Garrick raised an eyebrow. ‘Do you only care about Navarrian lives if they are under your command, Sinclair?’

Ellis opened her mouth to respond and shut it again. 

‘Enough.’ said Xaden, and everyone’s eyes were on him again. ‘The past is in the past. What we have to worry about now is how we win today.’

Ellis pouted and pushed jagged brown bangs out of her face. She looked down at the map with crossed arms and an unhappy expression in her blue eyes. She might have resented being stuck under Xaden’s leadership but she didn’t hate him enough to throw a battle just to spite him.

Xaden had placed wooden markers on the map on the table. One on the far western side of the battlefield indicated the location they had to defend with a crystal egg inside. On the opposite side of the map, on Basgaith itself, was a second marker. It symbolized the professor they had to stop their opponents from capturing.  

‘It will be messy, facing Second Wing on campus.’ noted Garrick, lifting his eyes from the map to Xaden’s. ‘Close quarters combat in the hallways? There is a high likelihood of casualties. Amongst bystanders too.’

Xaden met his best friend's gaze and nodded silent acknowledgement.

‘Can we abduct the professor ourselves and take them to a second location?’ asked Declan.

Xaden shook his head. ‘We will lose the objective if they leave campus.’

‘Then, can we assume based on past years that the egg will be more valuable? Focus our efforts on that?’ Asked Declan hopefully.

‘Hardly.’ Scoffed Ellis. She leaned back in her chair and shot a withering look at Declan. ‘No doubt command will decide whichever objective Riroson here doesn't choose to personally defend is worth more points.’

Xaden saw Bridget and Bodhi exchange a look and he knew they thought Ellis’s assessment was accurate. They might arrive at the deduction for the opposite reason, but that didn't stop them from agreeing with what she said.

Even to those at the table who didn’t have Xaden’s particular insights this task looks like it was intended to be unwinnable. Two objectives, a split focus and a gamble about how the points would fall. It looked like all Second Wing would have to do was pick one objective to go all-in on, in order to overwhelm their forces and be given the win.

‘So, do we split the Wing?’ Bridget asked Xaden. ‘Or are you planning on holding an objective single handedly? You could probably keep the professor well hidden in the citadel and it would never come to open conflict in the hallways.’

Bridget’s suggestion was tempting, but looking around the table at the faces before him Xaden came up against the same problem he’d identified the first time he had thought this puzzle through. If he assigned himself to the second objective, who would he leave in command? Xaden suspected - in fact he knew - Command thought his weakness was his need for control, an inability to delegate to others. He didn’t agree, he was able to delegate fine, he just didn’t trust people who were incompetent or actively wished him harm.

Everybody knew Garrick was Xaden’s true second, despite the official structure of the Wing, Bridget expected Xaden to appoint him to lead the defence of the egg. However, watching Ellis glare across the table Xaden knew she would never follow Garrick’s leadership. The Claw Section leader was not only self-serving and ambitious, she also harbored a strong dislike for the children of the apostasy. Ellis would take any opportunity she could to further command’s opinion of her merits, even at the cost of lives. Especially if those lives where marked. Garrick would be seriously hampered trying to keep her under control and Bridget would face the same problem. Declan was the only one with the authority to keep her in-line, if he would use it. But Declan lacked the knack  for strategic thinking that the section leaders had. 

Xaden wished he could have put someone else in the position, someone like Soleil. But appointing a marked one as his executive officer had been out of the question. The list of non-marked third year cadets who Xaden could trust, thought strategically, could lead and were not already appointed to leadership positions was so short as to be non-existent. He had settled for a balance between the most capable and least likely to stab him in the back. 

No, Xaden knew he had to manage Ellis himself. That meant splitting the Wing: sending Flame and Tail sections to defend the egg together while he took Claw to guard the professor, risking Second Wing going all-in on their assault for the egg and overpowering them. Or, it would have meant that if whoever designed this battle hadn't overlooked one thing. A small detail perhaps, when viewing the skills of the quadrant as a whole but an oversight Xaden intended to exploit.

The others were still waiting for Xaden to tell them which plan he preferred, or if he had a different one entirely, when there was a knock at the door.

Crossing quickly to the door Xaden opened it to look down on Violet. She stood, looking nervous with a small frown on her face.

‘Sorrengail, glad you got my message.’ Xaden said calmly, and stepped aside to let her come in.

She glanced briefly around the room like she had never been there before, or had expected it to somehow look different, then followed him to the table where the Wing’s leadership were watching her.

‘Why is there now a first year in this meeting?’ Asked Ellis, wrinkling her nose.

Xaden caught sight of Violet standing a little straighter and giving Ellis a cool, unimpressed look. He had to remind himself not to smile. The Squad Leader could be a piece of work, but she couldn’t win any fight she picked with his Violence.

Garrick scoffed with amusement and relaxed back in his chair. ‘She’s not just any first year, She’s Violet Sorrengail. The distance wielder.’

Garrick said this like it answered every possible question, and for someone familiar with both Violet’s abilities and the way Xaden’s mind worked it perhaps did. However, for the benefit of the other people sitting around the table Xaden would explain his plan.

……………………….

‘So, you really don’t need the harness.’ Says Rhiannon, walking at my side.

‘Not today.’ I say happily.

It’s after lunch and I’m walking with the rest of my squad to the flight field. They are going to take up their defensive positions and wait for the battle to begin. Although I’m not going with them I walk out too, so it’s not obvious I am staying behind. I’ll wield back to my room for a while afterwards, as I have some more time until I need to find Professor Kaori.

Rhiannon smiles, ‘I wish I could stay with you, I just know I’m going to miss out seeing you kick major ass.’

Her confidence makes me grin more broadly. I wish my squad could stay with me too, but I trust Xaden when he says he needs them in the field more. 

The flight field is organised chaos, cadets in black are moving around squads of dragons that  wait in formation for their riders. Other dragons overhead are coming to land or take flight already. I walk with my friends to where our squad waits, without Andarna today.

‘I’ll be close by if you need me.’ She says, in acknowledgement to my noting her absence. ‘I’ll stay hidden by the castle, just a moment away.’

I send my silent thanks, although I am excited rather than nervous about the challenge before me.

I watch my friends moving towards their dragons and wave when they look at me. I’m happy to notice Liam is fighting fit, no sign of discomfort present as he climbs Deigh’s leg.

Dain comes up to me as the others mount. The biggest surprise I’ve had today wasn’t attending a senior leadership meeting, but that Dain made no objection when Garrick told him about the job I had in today’s battle.

‘Will you be alright, Vi?’ He asks softly. I guess when it comes to it, he’s not that comfortable leaving me on my own. Dain must see me stiffen at his words because he quickly adds; ‘I know you have come a long way with your wielding, but I’d feel more comfortable if you had someone to watch your back.’

‘I’ll be fine, Dain.’ I reassure him with a half smile and a shrug. ‘Someone to watch my back is just another person to grab before wielding.’

‘If you're sure.’ Dain says, not completely convinced.

‘I’ll be fine, you’ll see. It’s you lot out there without me I’m worried about.’ I laugh. But the laugh is a little strained.

‘I’ll bring them all back safe for you.’ Dain promises. We both watch the last of the other first years mounting and Dain nods to me before heading to Cath’s side.

‘Sorrengail.’

I turn at the sound of Xaden’s voice and find him a professional distance away. ‘Come to wish us luck?’ He asks dryly.

‘If you think you need it.’ I respond with a smile. His mouth twitches in response.

‘Are you comfortable with your mission?’ Xaden asks, studying my face carefully.

‘I am.’ I say truthfully.

‘Good. I have every confidence in you.’ Xaden’s eyes soften slightly and although I already knew he believed in me it’s hard not to be moved by those words.

I nod my understanding of what he’s saying. I wish we were somewhere else and I could say something tender back, or give him a kiss and tell him it’s for luck. But I can’t. We stand just a moment longer, looking at each other, in sight of the entire wing.

‘I’ll see you when we win.’ Says Xaden and he turns to make his way towards Sgeayl.

…………….

When I knock at Kaori’s office he calls ‘Enter’ through the door.

‘Hello, Cadet Sorrengail,’ Kaori says, looking at me over reading glasses from where he sits surrounded by papers and books. ‘What can I do for you?’

‘I’m your security detail for this afternoon, professor.’ I say, standing straight and saluting to him.

His eyebrows go up in surprise, but he smiles. ‘Is it already time to be squirreled away? Where are we off to?’ He stands as he asks, pulling his glasses off and putting them away on his desk. I notice he’s dressed for flying.

‘We can stay here if you are comfortable.’ I shrug, gesturing to his desk. ‘I don’t want to interrupt your work.’

‘I’m not being locked in the basement today, or at the top of a tower?’ Kaori asks, now really surprised.

‘No, is that what people usually do?’ I ask out of interest. 

Kaori nods and sits back down. ‘Are you and your squad just going to guard this room?’

‘No, just me. I’ll stop Second Wing from capturing you by wielding you away.’ I explain.

‘Really?’ Asks Kaori, a fascinated look now on his face. I bite back a smile, everyone is curious to know what distance wielding is like, now that I am able to take others, and it looks like Kaori is no different.

‘I’ll touch your arm and wield you to another location.’ I say. I have a number of places on the campus in mind where we can hide. The intention is to play cat and mouse with Second Wing, hoping to keep as many of them occupied for as long as possible looking for us.

Looking thoughtful, Kaori gestures for me to take a seat if I wish. I feel like I shouldn’t have my back to the door, so I move one of the chairs before his desk to the side of the room where I can see him, the window and the door without turning my head. Putting his glasses back on he reopens his book and resumes reading, occasionally glancing my way like I might suddenly do something unexpected.

While I sit in silence I reach out to Andarna, to see if she has an update on our friends.

‘Nothing to report.’ Andarna says cheerfully. ‘The squad have just set out on a patrol with a squad from Tail Section. If you are wondering about your Wingleader he is coordinating things from the tower, but Sgeayl says she has better things to do that report on what he’s doing all afternoon.’

‘Noted. Thank you for asking for me.’ I tell Andarna. I am slightly amused by Sgeayl’s message, and I resign myself to not asking after Xaden again. I know he can more than look after himself after all.

‘Your friends will be fine.’ Andarna assures me. ‘They will watch each other’s backs.’

And no-one is facing Barlowe today. I shudder at the memory of his gleeful face as he kicked Liam off Deigh’s back.

Professor Kaori sighs in frustration and sits back in his chair gripping the back of his neck.

‘Is something wrong?’ I ask.

‘I thought I was close to the information I’m looking for,’ Kaori says, ‘But this text doesn’t have what I’m after. It references a book that might, but I don’t have it here.’ He indicates the piles of books on his desk and the shelf behind him.

‘Do you need to go to the Archive?’ I ask.

‘Yes,’ Kaori smiles. ‘I will have to head over tomorrow morning.’

‘If you need to, we can go now.’ I say, standing up.

‘That would be very convenient, but are you sure?’ Kaori asks me.

I nod, and stand up to approach him as he picks up his notebook. ‘But if you don’t mind, we might avoid walking through the quadrant.’ I say, holding out my hand to him.

Professor Kaori has a look of glee on his face as he takes my hand and I wield us to the archive.

After a successful visit to the Archive and a long discussion with a third year scribe cadet Kaori has the book he was looking for and a few others and is ready to head back. I heard enough of their conversation while I kept an eye out for other riders to glean that he is researching dragon lineages.

‘Cadet Sorrengail, would it be too much trouble if I stopped by Commandant Panchek’s office? I have something I want to discuss with him.’ Kaori asked me.

We are just passing the halfway point in the two hour battle and as I haven't seen any sign of Second Wing yet I decide we have been hiding away long enough. 

‘All right.’ I agree. 

I walk just behind the professor, intending to keep an eye out for Second Wing patches, but the corridor is deserted as we approach the Commandant's office.

‘Kaori.’ Says Panchek, with mild displeasure as he answered the door. ‘I thought you were being kidnaped today.’

‘So did I.’ Kaori agrees in a delighted tone. ‘But as I haven't been, I thought we could finish our discussion?’

Pancheck narrows his eyes slightly at me over Kaori’s shoulder, he steps aside to let Kaori into his office then closes the door before I can follow.

‘I’ll just wait here.’ I say to the closed door.

When I turn around I think I see a flash of black down the corridor, but it’s too quick to know if it’s a cadet or staff member descending the stairs. I lean against the wall beside the door while I wait and put my hands in the pockets of my jacket. I straighten when I see people coming up the stairs at the other end of the corridor.

The section leader of Second Wing, Flame Section walks towards me with fourteen other cadets behind her. I can see they are all First Squad and I wonder how big the search party is. They stop about thirty feet away and stand four or so across, blocking the corridor.

‘Sorrengail.’ Says the section leader, ‘We’ll be taking the professor now.’

‘Well, you can try.’ I say. I unbutton the bottom of my jacket so I have access to all of my daggers then pull two out. I toss the one in my right hand into the air and catch it by the point. 

The cadets in front of me follow the dagger with their eyes, but I don’t have to take mine off them. The daggers Xaden gave me are all perfectly balanced and identical weights, having practiced with them for a few weeks they now feel like an extension of myself. It’s second nature for me to throw and catch them.

Only, there are fifteen cadets in front of me, and I have twelve daggers. I know this is exactly why I’ve been training with Xaden to get close to my opponents. I plant one foot in my mental archives and let Andarna’s power flow through me. It hums gently under my skin, the skin of my arms prickles in response and I breath slowly to try and settle into the state of relaxed alertness I find when sparing with Xaden.

The Section leader watches my posture shift warily. ‘We can settle this without fighting, No-one has to get hurt.’ She says.

‘If you don’t want your squad to get hurt you have to call them off now.’ I say. When she makes no response to this I shrug. ‘All right then, who’s first?’ The corridor is too narrow for them to attack me at once, they'd only get in each others way and that's to my advantage.

The Section leader looks to a man beside her, A second year who is tall and broad. No-doubt he holds his own in challenges against similar sized opponents and I anticipate a straightforward brute strength based attack. The corridor is too narrow for the short sword at his side so he draws two daggers, longer and heavier than mine.

I flip my dagger back to hold the hilt again and step forward, waiting for him to attack.

My opponent attacks how I expect, going to large moves that rely on the strength in his arms and are not particularly fast. I deflect and dodge a few without wielding, giving myself a few moments to get familiar with his style. I note he is aiming for the outside of my body, arm or shoulder - nothing vital. He seems to think he has me on the back foot, he tries to drive me into a corner beside Panchek’s door and I let him. 

When the wall is at my back and I see him go to strike downward with enough force behind it for a sword I wield behind him and kick his front knee out. He tumbles, dropping his weapons to try and catch himself before his face smacks into the stone wall.

I notice in a detached way that this would be the perfect opportunity to take him out; his back is exposed and I could strike before he regains his feet. If this was a real battle, I know, I should kill him now.

But I’m not Jack-fucking-Barlowe and this Cadet tried to dissarm or wound, not kill me.

Gripping both my daggers in my left hand I put my right palm on his back as he regains his feet, his daggers still on the floor. I feel him flinch under my touch as I wield and then he gasps in shock and staggers in the muddy flight field. I don’t stay to see him gape around in confusion or ask what’s happened.

In the corridor the Section Leader hasn’t had time to do more than register that we momentarily weren't there.

‘What did you do with James? Where is he?’ Asks a young woman from the second row, wide eyed and pale with shock.

‘Don’t worry, he’s fine.’ I say, tucking one of my daggers away so I now have a hand free to grab my next opponent. ‘He’s just not here.’

The next person who steps forward to fight me is a third year. She’s on the smaller side for riders and she’s quick. Unlike James she’s used to using daggers and I have to wield to avoid some of her strikes. She tries to adapt to this, stabbing at where I am and then spinning to attack behind her, hoping I come in close for a strike.

But she can’t actually predict what I’ll do, and the second time she does this I place myself beside her and grab her arm to wield her to the entrance of the Archive before she realises it’s happening.

The Section Leader signs and rolls her shoulders to loosen them when I return facing her. She steps forward herself and draws her own daggers. She paused in a defensive position before me and waits for me to come to her. 

Only I don’t want to rush this, so I relax my stance and shug at her. I have all day.

A flash of frustration goes over her face. Her hand flicks in a move I know all too well and one of her daggers flies towards my face.

One moment I see the blade flying at me and the next I’m two feet to the left and the dagger sinks into the door behind me with a thunk. It would have been a perfect hit.

A sound of frustration leaves my opponents lips and she draws a second dagger before flying at me down the hallway.

I drop back into a defensive pose to deflect and dodge her first blows. She’s fast and by far the best fighter I’ve faced this afternoon. Her movements are fluid and continual and keep me reacting as I struggle to find an opening to exploit and get a good grip on her.

As we circle each other in the narrow space I am aware of the door to Pancheks office opening and he and Kaori looking out at the scene before them.

‘Go!’ Shouts my opponent to someone over my shoulder. ‘While I have her engaged.’

Someone brushes past me and I see it’s a Second Wing cadet moving towards Kaori. I know it’s time to end this confrontation.

I stop trying to look for a chance to grab the Section Leader’s arm and instead sink my dagger into the joint of her shoulder. She shouts in pain and while she’s distracted I wield to the end of the corridor and grab the second wing cadet before he can even lay a hand on Kaori. He jerks back in shock but I wield him with me to be within grasp of the Section Leader.  I see her eyes widen in shock as I put my hand on her uninjured arm, the one that’s occupied trying to stop the bleeding around my blade in her other shoulder.

‘Fucking -’ She starts to swear at the trees around us. I leave her and the other cadet in the forest clearing where Carr made me come to first practice wielding.

For a moment I feel regret at leaving her there as I return to the corridor before Panchek and Kaori. She is injured after all, but her dragon will be able to collect her and fly her to the healers. And, I remind myself, that dagger she threw at me was a kill shot.

‘Sorry for the interruption Professor.’ I say, reaching for Kaori’s forearm. ‘But we have to go now.’ He just stares at me, like I’ve grown a second head, so I wrap my hand around his unresponsive wrist and wield him away.

…………………..

When Sgeayl lands on the flight field Panchek is there to see Xaden carrying the egg. The commandant has a neutral expression on his face but Xaden can see a vein pulsing in the side of his head.

Violet is there too, with Kaori at her side. Xaden of course already heard from Sgeayl that she performed brilliantly and kept her objective secure. As the others learn about her victory her squadmate Riddoc calls ‘group hug time!’ and they engulf her in their arms and she smiles and laughs.

There is a warm glow of pride and happiness in Xaden’s chest as he watches Violet’s friends celebrate her. Other members of the wing come to congratulate her and there is no question she deserves it. He looks forward to having her alone, and telling her how remarkable she is.

Interested to know if Parchek is fuming about the clear win Fourth Wing secured, Xaden makes an attempt to read him as he hands over the egg. He is surprised to find his shields uncharacteristically weak, but when he pushes he sees that instead of plotting another way to humble Xaden in the last game the commandant is preoccupied with a entirely different thought. The intentions in the man’s head show, of all things, Panchek in Lilith Sorrengail’s office. Xaden realises he’s trying to find words to tell the General just how remarkable her youngest child is, without sounding like a simpleton, or worse like he was trying to somehow gain favor. 

Chapter Text

‘I’ve read Carr’s assessment of her abilities.’ Said General Sorrengail dismissively. She dropped her gaze from Lyron Panchek’s face back to the papers on the desk in front of her. If this was all he wanted to talk about she had better uses for her time.

Panchek cleared his throat awkwardly and the General looked at him again. He sat uneasily on the chair opposite her, a somewhat constipated look on his face.

‘Carr’s assessment isn’t… current.’ Panchek choked out. ‘He didn’t mention how she uses her signet to fight and he thought she was unable to transport other people with her, but I saw her do just that.’

‘Really?’ General Sorrengail lifted her eyebrows in surprise. ‘How does she use it to fight?’

‘Very effectively. I’ve never seen anything like it.’ Panchek admitted with reluctance. ‘She wields to dodge and attack, combined with her natural speed and agility it is quite impressive. I saw her face Section Leader Hale who is one of the best in her year. Cadet Sorrengail was just toying with her; trying to lead her into overextending herself. When it was clear she wanted to end the fight she quickly incapacitated Hale, immediately landing a blow and wielding her and another cadet into the forest. She was back in the blink of an eye.’

For a few moments Lilith Sorrengail was speechless.

Panchek watched her processing his words. The general tried to hide it but there was a light of pride in her eyes. Then confusion puckered her brow.

‘If Cadet Sorrengail hasn’t been training with Carr in months, and his assessments don’t mention any of these skills, how has she developed them?’ The general asked with a frown. She knew her youngest daughter had made good progress fighting with daggers for the short time she had been training, but unless she was some kind of undetected combat prodigy it seemed unlikely Violet had grown these skills without guidance.

‘I wondered that too.’ Panchek agreed. He pulled a dagger out of a sheath at his side and lay it on the desk. ‘This dagger was removed by the healers from Section Leader Hale’s shoulder.’

General Sorrengail reached forward to pluck the small blade off of the wooden surface. She turned it over in her hand and noticed the light weight and that it was perfectly sized for Violet’s hands. She admired the quality of the craftsmanship and then the Tyrrish rune decorating the hilt caught her eye.

‘Apparently she’s been training with Riorson since the start of winter.’ Said Panchek when he saw her study the rune.

‘That would explain it then.’ Said general Sorrengail casually, laying the dagger down on the desk.

‘You’re not worried about your daughter associating with him?’ Panchek was clearly disappointed by her non-reaction to this news.

‘She’s under his command.’ General Sorrengail shrugged.

‘But, she’s one of only a hand-full of Cadets he trains with and -’

‘You have children, don’t you Lyron?’ General Sorrengail cut him off.

‘Uhh,’ Panchek was taken aback by her change of subject. ‘I do yes, a little boy and a girl, they are -.’

‘Well here is some advice, one parent to another.’ Said General Sorrengail. ‘You can not control who your children associate with. If you try to, you will only end up pushing your children towards the people you warn them against. Was there anything else?’

He blinked at her for a moment and swallowed whatever else he clearly wanted to say on the subject of her youngest daughter, then shook his head.

‘Dismissed.’ Said General Sorrengail. She picked up the papers she had before her and pretended to read them as the coronal left. In reality she was more affected by what she’d heard than she wanted to let on.

But she wasn’t more than annoyed, and vaguely amused. Looking again at the dagger that had been left on her desk she shook her head. She had to give the Riorson boy credit for his dedication to preserving his own skin.

…………………….

Apparently the night after the battle, when we are expected to be celebrating our win, is the perfect time to sneak away and commit treason. 

I stayed in the commons after dinner, for a few drinks and to share accounts of the battle with my friends. Once our wing’s celebration starts to wind down and members of our squad start peeling off I tell Rhi I’m turning in too.

‘Yes Vi!’ Says Riddoc, leaning across Rhiannon to offer me a high-five. ‘Enjoy yourself.’ He says with a cheeky wink.

Rhi snorts into her drink and my cheeks are bright red as I high-five Riddoc half heartedly.

‘Night,’ I mumble, embarrassed, to the others.

But instead of heading to my room, or to Xaden’s, I cross the dark courtyard and enter the tunnel that leads to the flight field. As the door closes behind me a soft slip of shadow strokes my arm with a cool caress and I turn towards the dark corner, knowing what I’ll find there.

As I step out of the illumination of the mage lights Xaden’s arms circle around me and bring me to his chest where, by touch, I find his face to hold between my palms as I kiss him.

‘I love you.’ I whisper as our lips part.

‘I love you too.’ I can hear the smile in his voice as he speaks. Then he sighs. ‘Are you sure you want to do this tonight? I don’t mind if you want to go back and celebrate with your friends.’

I shake my head. ‘You said it was the best opportunity we were likely to have for weeks. Besides, If I go back now my friends will think we have had a fight or something.’ I feel the blush creeping back into my cheeks.

‘Well, we can’t have them thinking that.’ Xaden chuckles, brushing his lips against mine again. He takes my hand and leads me a way I’ve never been before, not out towards the flight field but down the stairs inside the external wall of the citadel.

We follow the spiraling stairs down, so far down I think we must be inside the rock Basgiath is built on before they end. The whole way down it’s dark as no mage lights come on and we don’t summon any. But I am not afraid, Xaden is in his element and I trust him to guide me down and not to let me fall.

When we reach the bottom of the stairs Xaden warns me they have ended and we step out into a dimly lit corridor. Xaden leads me down it, and at the end there is a set of large doors before us. They are metal plated and a large lock holds them shut. I turn slightly to look at Xaden, wondering if he will use lesser magic or if he has a key to unlock it.

He’s watching me with a smirk twisting his lips and he waves his hand forward, indicating I should approach first. I shrug and step closer to the door. I can do lesser magic to unlock simple locks, but I will be surprised if this one doesn’t have some extra defence against riders’ abilities. I guess if all else fails I can wield us through.

To my utter amazement the lock clicks loudly before I can raise a hand to it and when I press against one of the doors it gives.

‘Did you unlock it?’ I ask, casting a puzzled look over my shoulder to Xaden. 

He shakes his head. ‘I didn’t need to.’

That only makes me more confused but Xaden’s smile grows wider at my expression.

He steps forward, close enough for his breath to brush my cheek, and his hand drops to clutch my waist. Wait-no he pulls one of my daggers from the sheath at my ribs and lifts it so I can see the hilt in the low light.

‘The rune?’ I ask.

Xaden nods, pleased. He offers the hilt to me and I take it back.

‘I guess it’s lucky that this isn’t the one I lost today.’ I say. ‘Or the Section leader would be surprised to find doors unlocking for her.’

‘Your runes won’t work for Hale.’ Xaden reassures me. ‘And I’ll replace the one you're missing as soon as I can, if she doesn't give it back.’ He puts his palm flat on the door before us and smirks as he pushes it open. ‘She probably won’t, I understand she’s pissed you humiliated her.’

‘She’s damn lucky that’s all I did.’ I mutter, sheathing my dagger and following Xaden through the doors. ‘She threw a dagger at my head.’

Xaden looks back at me and I see the angry flash of his eyes. For a moment I’m sorry I told him, but then I lift my head and face his anger.

‘Do we need to have another talk about what we do when people try to kill us, Violet?’ He asks softly.

‘No.’ I say firmly. ‘I responded appropriately. And, in case you didn’t notice, I didn’t let her hurt me.’ I hold my hands out to the side to emphasise that I’m here and unharmed.

After running his eyes up and down my body to remind himself I am unharmed, Xaden nods his head in agreement with my words. I see him decide to let the lecture go unspoken.

It’s then that I look past him and really see where we are.

In the center of the room is a large, low stone structure: a huge forge holding glowing coals that still give off enough light to illuminate the room around it. The light it gives off is enough to catch and sparkle on something behind it but not enough for me to make out clearly what I’m seeing. It looks like panels in a glass window, or like faceted ice of all things.

Curious, I step forward and around the mammoth forge and mage lights come on in response, casting light to the edges of the room. Then I gasp when I see it clearly. I feel Xaden’s presence behind me and he gently lays a hand on my elbow.

‘What is it?’ I ask softly, not taking my eyes off the sight before me.

Each blue crystal is as tall as I am. They form a circle easily as tall as a dragon that sits upright, towering towards the roof, which is much higher than I realised. The crystal ring sits in the space between the forge and a pair of - frankly huge- closed doors, locked like the ones behind us were.

‘It’s called a Luminary. It’s the only one in Navarre.’ Xaden says.

‘What is it for?’ I ask.

‘It enhances dragon-fire to hotter temperatures.’

I look at him in surprise. ‘Hotter? Why?’

‘To make this.’ Xaden says, holding out a mental medallion. ‘It’s an alloy of Talladium and other metals mixed with dragon egg shells. That’s what they need the hot temperature for, the shells.’

I turn the medallion over in my hands, but as he says the word alloy I feel a pit form in my stomach.
‘This is why we are here?’ I ask, gesturing to the circle of alloy in my hand.

‘There are only a few ways to kill a Venin, if you stab them with regular weapons their powers allow them to recover. Imbued with power, a dagger carrying this alloy can kill Venin.’ Xaden explains, watching my face. What-ever he sees there makes his brows draw together.

‘It’s also used to extend the range of our wards at the border.’ I state.

‘Yes.’ Says Xaden, slightly surprised.

‘Poromeil raids our outposts to steal the daggers,’ I continue, ‘So you are stealing them here so they don’t have to.’

‘That’s the idea.’ Xaden agrees, ‘Only it’s difficult for us to transport enough to really help without alerting Basgaith, we only take a few at a time so that...’ He trails off at the look on my face.

‘I think Command might know someone is stealing daggers.’ I say softly.

‘How?’ Asks Xaden, his voice a harsh whisper in the quiet dark.

I shake my head to indicate my uncertainty. ‘They must have noticed the weapons going out didn’t balance with the materials coming in.’

‘I mean; how can you possibly know that, Violence?’ He asks again, more loudly and with an edge like fear in his voice.

‘Oh,’ My eyes widen. ‘It’s in the letter I stole.’

Chapter Text

In my room Xaden drops heavily onto the bed, the stolen letter in his hands.

I close the Fables of the Barrens and sit opposite him on my desk chair, holding the tome to my chest and watch him read. He scowls at the page, then runs his hand through his hair in frustration, tugging at the dark strands.

‘Fuck.’ Says Xaden. Dropping the letter on his lap and putting his face in his hands.

‘I’m sorry.’ I wince. I should have shown him the letter earlier, but I only put the pieces together myself tonight.

Xaden lifts his head and his face is calm and controlled, the mask firmly held in place. Only his dark eyes give away what he’s feeling. ‘This isn’t your fault.’ Xaden says tonelessly.

I fight the urge to fidget. I feel uneasy and Xaden’s tone and expression only add to it. I know, intellectual, that he’s not angry at me; that he’s frightened and worried. I know he carries the responsibility for one hundred and six lives and he’s afraid of failing them.

Leaving the book on my desk I slip over to sit beside him. I take one of his hands between both of mine and I gently try to uncurl his fingers from a fist. He lets me but they remain limp and unresponsive in my hand when I squeeze them.

‘They can’t know it’s you.’ I whisper. ‘They wouldn’t sit and wait to act if they knew who was responsible.’

‘I’d feel better if I could be sure of that.’ Xaden admits.

‘So let’s be sure. Let’s see if we can find out how much command knows.’ I say.

‘No.’ Xaden says flatly, shaking his head. ‘I’ll see what I can find out but I don’t want you involved in this anymore.’

‘Xaden.’ I protest, pulling back so I can turn and look at him properly but he doesn't turn to face me and I can only see his profile.

‘I can still save you, Violet.’ He whispers, his eyes fixed on the floor at our feet. ‘There is nothing I can do to save the others if Command knows it's us, but I don’t have to take you down with me.’ He starts to pull his hand away from mine, like he’s going to stand and leave.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ I say, taking his face in my hands and making him turn my way. ‘I’m involved now, Xaden. there is no changing that.’

‘Please, Violet,’ He says, closing his eyes. ‘I couldn’t bear it if you were caught and there had been something I could have done to stop it happening.’

‘I could say the same thing to you.’ I tell him.

Xaden’s eyes snap open and he looks at me. ‘I’m trying to save your life, Violet.’ He begs.

‘Again, I could say the same thing to you!’ I exclaim, ‘I love you, but I’m not offering to die at your side out of devotion, Xaden. I can help you! I have a much better chance of getting the information you need than you do. I can go places you can’t; I can steal more letters, I can break into my mother’s office to find out what she knows.’

Xaden frowns more deeply at those words.

‘And if you try to refuse my help, I’m just going to do those things anyway!’ I warn him, glaring into his face and willing the stubborn man to listen to me.

Xaden’s expression cracks and I feel the fight drain out of him. He sags slightly and his arms go around me, wrapping me in an embrace and burying his face in my neck.

I sigh in relief and run my hands up into his hair, holding his head against me. ‘You don’t have to do this alone.’

‘I know.’ Xaden answers softly.

I’m not sure he does. I think he's spent so long being strong for everyone else he can't remember how to let someone help him. It frightens me a little that at the first sign of danger his reaction was to try and shut me out.

‘If we are going to do this Xaden, really do this: you and me? You need to respect my choice to put myself in danger.’ I tell him.

He doesn't respond but his arms tighten around me. And for now,it’s enough that I know he doesn't want to let me go.

‘Can you take me into the Archive, Violet?’ Xaden asks softly.

‘Of course.’ I say with a smile. Then I warn him that there is no breathable air; ‘After hours when the wards activate, you can’t breathe in the Archive. We will have to bring letters out to read and take them back.’

Xaden pulls out of the embrace and nods his understanding. ‘I’ll get us some help to go through the letters if we need, but let’s steal them before I piss off Garrick by disturbing his night.’

Standing, I put the stolen letter away and grab my satchel for carrying more letters in. Xaden’s look softens as he watches me slip the bag over my shoulder and hold my hand out to him.

‘What?’ I ask.

‘Nothing.’ Xaden says, shaking his head slightly. He threads our fingers together and presses a kiss to my head. ‘I love you.’

‘Breath in with me, alright?’ I ask. ‘I’ll grab you when I need to take a breath, or grab my arm if you need one first.’

His dark eyes are serious as he confirms the plan. I hold his gaze as we take a deep breath together as I reach with my signet for the room in the Archives.

The mage lights don’t come on, so I lift my left hand to summon one. Then holding it out I turn towards the wall with the pigeonholes where incoming mail is sorted. Or… where it was sorted. 

I stare in shock, pressing my lips together to stop the urge to speak or make some sound of alarm. There is nothing before us but empty squares. Panicked, I look all around me at the rest of the room and all I see is empty shelves and an empty table. There is nothing here.

Xaden squeezes the hand he’s still holding and when I look at him he reads the answer to his unasked question in my shocked expression. This room was our destination, but it’s no-longer where they sort the mail.

…………………………..

We agree that we need reinforcement to break into my mother’s office so it’s not until the next night that I find myself crouching in a stairwell of the administration wing beside Imogen. Behind us Xaden is monitoring the shadows nearby and providing Liam cover. If anyone approaches behind us his shadows will let him know in time for me to get us all out.

I can’t even hear Liam’s footsteps as he rejoins us, his feet are silent on the steps when he reappears from using his far-sight to scout the corridor outside my mother’s office.

‘There is one guard, just like you expected Vi, and no light under the door.’ Liam says in a whisper.

‘Everyone ready?’ I ask, holding out a hand to Liam and one to Imogen.

They nod and Xaden wordlessly puts his hand on my shoulder so I can wield us all into my mother’s office. 

I haven’t been in there since before I crossed the parapet. But it’s a space I visited often before that, one I know well and I can feel the power in my mind latch on to the location as I channel. At this small distance it requires noticeably more power to transport three more people with me.

 We all stand still in darkness until Xaden summons a mage light and I see he has covered the door and window with shadows to block the light.

I drop Liam and Imogen’s hands and immediately move to my mother’s desk, summoning a mage light of my own. I don’t watch but I know Liam and Imogen are silently crossing to the conference table to search it. Xaden follows at my side, he reassured me he can help search at the same time as monitoring the shadows in the hallways outside to provide warning if anyone approaches the door.

On the desk I find a small pile of opened correspondence and a number of bound reports. I Indicate to Xaden that I’ll take the letters and he should start reading what’s in the stack of reports. A few of the letters contain accounts of activity on the border that make me squirm in discomfort. I wonder which force is behind which attack but I don’t have time to untangle that now. 

I put the letters back and look up to see Liam and Imogen, heads bent to their tasks at the long table. Beside me Xaden glances over reports while his face wears a look of deep concentration and I wonder if it’s due to feeling for footsteps or trying to memorise the information before him.

Finished with the letters I start opening draws of the desk to work through. Minutes tick by and I scan over documents that are interesting and documents that are not, but none of them are relevant to why we are here. 

The second drawer down clicks open when I reach for it, and I realise it was locked. The sound was loud in the office and I glance up in wide-eyed panic at the door. Liam and Imogen freeze too, their gaze on me.

‘I got it covered.’ Xaden breaths against my ear. He nods at Liam and Imogen that everything is alright.

I will my body to relax, my heart to stop pounding loudly in my ears as I open the drawer. I can’t stop the gasp that escapes as I look down and see a familiar dagger glinting up at me. With slightly shaping fingers I reach down and grasp the dagger - My dagger- and pull it out of the drawer.

‘What the hell?’ I whisper at Xaden.

‘Is that the one you used against Hale?’ He asks in an equally quiet tone.

‘Why is it here?’ I hiss.
I don’t know why I expect Xaden to have an answer for me. His frown deepens and he turns the dagger over in his hands, running a thumb over the rune that he tempered there.

Looking back down in the drawer I don’t really take in the words on the front of the ‘top secret’ report that was resting under my dagger. But when I lift it up and open the cover the words sink in and I grab Xaden’s arm in excitement. 

‘This is it.’ I whisper to him.
 ………………………..

‘So they think it might be us, but they have no proof.’ Bodhi sumerises.

We are gathered on the bank of the river under the canopy of a tree. Xaden leans against the trunk with his arms crossed, his eyes on his cousin. It’s not our oak tonight - Mine and Xaden’s - but a weeping willow and its leaves fall around us like a curtain.

‘They think it might be me, but they have no proof.’ Xaden corrects Bodhi with a frown.

‘That amounts to the same thing.’ Bodhi rolls his eyes.

A muscle in Xaden’s jaw jumps and I know he doesn't agree. There is no limit on what he would do to protect the people standing under this tree. If there is a fall coming he fully intends it to be his alone.

The cousins stare at each other, with matching stubborn looks that highlight their similarity, neither backing down.

‘There is a long list of other suspects.’ I remind them. ‘So let’s maybe consider what we can do to misdirect the investigation, before the two of you fight about who gets to die for the other?’

There is a flash of embarrassment on Bodhi’s face while Xaden just looks at me, his expression unchanged. 

‘How would you suggest we do that?’ Imogen asks me.

‘I’m not sure.’ I admit. I have in my hands the notes I made in my mother’s office about the report. I copied the list of people listed with identified opportunity or potential motivation to steal the supplies. A point in our favor is that they are not sure where exactly during production the theft is occurring so it includes people inside and outside Basgiath.

‘Planting evidence on someone will be easy enough. We’ll save our skins but at what cost? condemning an innocent person to death?’ Liam notes with a frown.

‘That’s not what I want.’ I agree with him. ‘The right approach, deflecting the focus of the investigation with our getting anyone killed, will take subtlety.’

‘Sound like we need help from a strategist.’ Garrick notes, stressing the last word. ‘One who understands how General Sorrengail thinks.’ He says this to Xaden but his gaze flickers in my direction.

I frown, I’m not sure what insights he thinks I can give that I’m not already offering.

‘Yes, we need to consult Aisereigh. I need to inform the assembly anyway.’ Xaden sighs. ‘Are you up for a trip home?’ He asks Garrick.

Realisation hits me and I'm suddenly breathless. Aisereigh. We are going to see Brennan.

‘Allways.’ Garrick answers.

A giddy feeling rushes over me before the bubble bursts and the reality sets in. I correct myself. They are going to see Brennan.

Xaden said home, so wherever their base of operations is it must be in Tyrrendor. That’s a twelve hour flight from Basgiath for a dragon like Sgeayl. As a first year I don’t get weekend leave. There is no-way I can go too… unless I pretend to be sick and have my squad cover for me... But that would mean getting Rhiannon’s help - and that’s impossible.

I rationalize and accept that I cannot go with Xaden before I’ve opened my mouth to ask to be included. I try to school my features before anyone looks at me and swallow bitter disappointment. I will not complain. After all, I remind myself, everyone around me has also lost loved ones too. My brother is the only one magically returning from the dead.

Xaden and Garrick agree to meet tomorrow night, presumably to discuss flying to Tyrendoor at the end of the week but I am not really paying attention. I remain where I stand when Garrick and the others say goodnight, heading back to the citadel.

I smile and wave to Liam as he brushes the curtain of the willow aside and steps out of it’s cover.

Turning back to Xaden I clutch my notebook tight enough to make my fingers ache. He’ll want to take the notes I’ve written with him so Brennan can read them. My heart clenches at that thought. Maybe, Xaden can take a letter to Brennan from me too.

‘If I write a letter before you go, can you take it to Brennan for me?’ I ask, taking the hand Xaden holds out to me.

He steps close to me and strokes the thumb of his other hand across my cheek with a puzzled look. ‘Of course, if you are sure you want me to. But Violet, wouldn’t you rather come with me and see him yourself?’

Chapter Text

‘And we’ll be back for formation?’ I ask sceptically.

Xaden looks down at me with a knowing smirk. ‘Like I said.’

‘But, how is that possible?’ I ask, narrowing my eyes. ‘Because I'm certain Brennan hasn't been hiding within a few hours flight of Basgaith the last six years.’

We still stand under the tree where the others left us and the leaves block much of the light from the moon but I have enough to read Xaden’s face. He takes a breath, steeling himself before he answers me.

‘Do you know what happens when a dragon bonds a direct descendant of their previous rider?’ Xaden asks softly.

‘That’s not allowed.’ I say reflexively.

Xaden lifts an eyebrow.

‘Right, just because something isn't allowed doesn't mean it doesn't happen.’ I correct myself. ‘No, what happens if a dragon bonds with a direct descendant of a previous rider?’

‘The bond is stronger, they are able to channel more power and manifest a second signet. That, or they go mad apparently.’ Xaden tells me.

I take in the implications of why he's telling me this. I'm starting to suspect I know where this is going but something else about what he's said sticks out.

‘You say that like you don't believe it.’ I observe. ‘The going mad bit.’

Xaden shrugs noncommittally. ‘I question everything they tell us.’

‘Right. Honestly, that's fair.’ I have to agree. I frown at the tree beside him for a moment, putting the pieces together. There is only really one possible answer to this riddle, but I am reluctant to voice it in case I’m wrong - or in case I’m right.

‘This is why you knew how to help me train my signet.’ I say accusingly.

‘It gave me a starting point.’ Xaden admits with a tone that’s full of amusement. ‘But your own strengths really guided how I helped you train.’ He has a smug smile on his face like he’s enjoying this.

For a second irritation prickles along my back. I am annoyed he's being so casual about having kept this from me for months. After everything that’s passed between us I can’t believe he never told me, didn't trust me enough to share this information, to tell me we have the same signet. 

Xaden’s smile begins to slip and I stare at him; thinking about all the times Xaden has expressed admiration for my abilities or wonder at what I could do. I think of when I first wielded with him, taking him from my room to the river… there is no way that reaction was faked.

‘Violet? Are you angry?’ Xaden asks softly, worried.

No, it simply makes no sense. This isn’t a big enough secret for him to have kept it from me after everything he has told me.

‘It’s Garrick.’ I state dumbly, staring at him.

‘Of course it’s Garrick. Who else would it be, Violence?’ Asks Xaden slowly.

‘I thought it was you.’ I say, looking into Xaden’s eyes. ‘But Garrick is the other distance wielder.’

All of the confusion on Xaden’s face clears. ‘Ah.’ He says, his expression softening and he strokes my cheek, dropping his to press a swift kiss to my lips. ‘I’m sorry for not telling you Violet, but this wasn’t my secret to share.’ 

‘I understand.’ I tell him in a whisper against his lips.

Xaden pulls back, a shadow of guilt lingering on his face before he banishes it.

‘We'll go tomorrow night, once it’s dark.’ Xaden says. ‘We should head in now and get some rest.’

…

I haul the half-finished harness a little higher against my chest as I walk with Xaden through a hidden tunnel underneath the quadrant. I won’t let him carry it for me, although I did let him put my overnight essentials into his pack at his insistence.

We round the last turn in the tunnel and a figure is waiting for us ahead. I make out Garrick’s features in the light he holds. He grins at me. 

‘Allright boys and girls, ready to go to Aretia?’ Garrick asks us brightly.

‘Aretia?’ I gape, surprised for more than one reason. ‘That’s more than eight-hundred miles away. You can wield that far?’ I am truly impressed, the furthest I’ve managed is just under a hundred miles, and that was on my own. When I wield with Andarna my range is reduced to a third of that. I know signets develop with time, but still.

‘Yep.’ Says Garrick, looking pleased.

‘Yeah but his aim is shit.’ Says Xaden in an amused tone.

‘You know what? Fuck you, you can fly there.’ Garrick says to his friend who just laughs beside me.

Xaden leads us out of the tunnel, which emerges onto the flight field.

I keep looking at Garrick as we walk across in the dark. He must feel my eyes on him because he turns back to look at me. He gives me a wink and I try to stop staring and look down at the ground before me.

I’m not sure why I feel so caught up on it, why it’s such a shock to know someone else has this ability. There are lots of riders with similar signets in the quadrant as each other, in fact it’s the norm to fall into a common class of wielder. But I feel a strange sense of excitement and trepidation that there is somebody else like me.

‘It is nice not to be alone.’ Andarna notes, her tone wistful.

‘This is true.’ I say to Andarna, approaching her with the new harness, half covered as it currently is in scales. ‘I have about a million questions to ask him. And I can not wait to experience his wielding.’

I walk up to Andarna and rest my head against her when she lowers it, pressing my forehead between her eyes in greeting. Then I lift the harness so she can slip her head through. As I don’t know what I am expecting from this journey Andarna and I agreed we should use it in case I need to hold on through evasive maneuvers. She sits up-right and I tug the straps into place, securing them together behind her forelegs.

One change to this harness, beside the addition of the scales, is that where the old one used a buckle that a human needed to operate, this one has a clip that Andarna can work herself using a claw to catch and un-farsen.

I stand back to check everything is in place and notice that the scales covering half the harness blend in with Andarna, making it much harder to see. I feel her pleasure at this observation and I have to agree it will be good if our vulnerability is hidden as well as protected from un-friendly fire.

‘Ready to go?’ Xaden asks, coming to stand behind me.

‘I’m ready.’ I say. 

Xaden smiles at me in the moonlight, then turns to Sgeayl as I wield to Andarna’s back.

I look across at Garrick already seated on top of his dragon, the Brown Chradh. I missed seeing if he climbed or wielded like me. He probably always climbs, since he doesn't use his power openly like I do.

Andarna launches into the air beside the other dragons and I wonder how this is going to work. Do the dragons need to touch each other? Or is Garrick not limited by contact the way I am?

I'm still thinking about possibilities when the world around me suddenly lurches in a stomach-churning way. The stars blur and and my head spins in an upsettingly similar manner to how it does when I have a migraine. I feel like I’m falling- except Andarna is under me. I clutch the handholds on the harness and squeeze my eyes tight, fighting the urge to wield somewear, anywhere that will take me away from this feeling.

‘It’s over.’ Andarna tells me with gentle sympathy.

I still feel distinctly unwell and when I open my eyes the world is still spinning. I’m grateful for the harness because I think I might topple off without it.

‘I’ve told Sgeayl we need to land.’ Andarna says. ‘Can you hold on a moment longer? We are almost there.’

I feel the impact through Andarna’s body and I shakily lift my legs out of the straps and slide down Andarna’s side. I sink down onto my knees and put my head down on the grass and try to breathe in and out slowly.

Beside me Andarna shifts, wrapping her neck around me protectively and blocking out the night. Her concern is like an embrace.

I hear wing beats and feel the impact of the larger dragons landing. Then there are boots on the grass and Andarna shifts momentarily to allow Xaden to step in beside her head and crouch at my side.

‘Thank you.’ I say to her as I feel his hand moving in circles on my back.

‘You cannot think I would try to eat him.’ Andarna says in amusement. ‘I know you would be upset.’

‘This isn’t how you feel when I wield with you is it?’ I ask Xaden, my voice muffled on the grass.

‘No.’ he says softly. ‘I feel nothing at all when you wield.’

I don’t respond to this and instead try to lift my head off the grass. It seems like the world has stopped spinning and I can focus on his face without worrying that my dinner will re-appear.

Xaden passes me a canteen and watches me with affectionate concern as I take small sips. ‘Bodhi hurled his guts up the first time.’ he says sympathetically. ‘I’d hoped you won’t be badly affected because of your signet.’

‘Poor Bodhi.’ I mutter.

Feeling steady enough to stand, I allow Xaden to support me on one side while I put my other hand on Andarna’s neck.

Andarna gives a contented sigh and stands too, she looks down at us with her large golden eyes and blinks softly at us.

‘I trust him to care for you from here.’ Andarna tells me. She steps back from us and lifts a claw to work the latch on her front. It opens and she’s able to back out of the harness.

Xaden drops my hand and moves towards the harness.

I open my mouth to tell him I’ll do it myself, but I wobble a little on my feet and decide that just this once I can let him do it for me.

Garrick comes to my side as Chradh flies away. ‘I’m sorry it was rough on you.’ Garrick says. 

I shrug it off as Xaden approaches, harness in his arms and we turn together to look out over what must be Aretia.

It’s dark. Lights shine in some windows and outside some buildings but I can’t make out any landmarks or tell how much has been rebuilt since it burnt.

‘It’s good to be home.’ Garrick says, coming to stand with us.

Xaden agrees, and then he leads me in the dark along a path from the field where the dragons landed down towards the city - towards Brennan.

I recognise the huge stone building - partially built into the side of a mountain - when we approach it. It has to be Riorson house. My footsteps slow as we enter the courtyard and I start to trail behind Xaden and Garrick. Lanterns allow me to see a fountain and stone benches as we pass and I marvel at the simple but elegant lines of the building, of it’s sheer size and how whole and distinctly un-sacked it is. And I remember from my father’s lessons that Fen Rirosn was defeated and captured on the battlefield but Navarre never breached the walls of Rorison house.

As we approach the grand main door I see runes unassumingly worked into the lintel-stone above. Amongst them I recognise ‘guard’ combined with ‘fire’ from my daggers and I expect I’ll find that rune over every window on the building.

A figure appears, outlined in light form inside as the door swings open. 

‘Xaden?’ I recognise the voice and my heart is suddenly in my throat.

‘Brennan,’ Xaden calls in greeting.

‘I wasn’t expecting you.’ My brother calls with a touch of disapproval and worry in his voice. ‘Is something wrong? Has something happened.’

‘Nobody is hurt.’ Xaden says, climbing the steps to the door. ‘But there is a situation I need to consult with you on.’

‘Who came with you and Garrick?’ Brennan asks. I can’t see my brother’s face as Xaden’s broad back is between us now. ‘Marb says there are three dragons but he doesn't recognise…’

‘I believe you two have met.’ Xaden turns to look for me, realises I’m behind him and steps out of the way so Brennan can see me.

Brennan’s eyes widen in shock as he whispers my name.

Then I’m running, dizziness forgotten, up the stairs as Brennan steps forwards to wrap me in an embrace.

………………..

Xaden headed into the house, Garrick at his side. He assured us he would find us soon, but that we had time for a reunion.

Brennan walked me to a sitting room and guided me to a place on the settee where we sat and stared at each-other in silence beneath portraits of people who must be Xaden’s family.

I don’t know what to say to him, or rather what to say first. I want to know everything, how he discovered the truth and what his life has been since. And my heart is so full at the thought of sharing what I’ve been through this year, of not having to lie or hold back truths.

‘How are you?’ Brennan asks softly, finally breaking the silence between us.

‘I’m well.’ I said, smiling. ‘I’m really, really well.’

‘And Mira? Although I guess you haven't seen or heard from her in a while.’ Brennan starts hopeful, then his face clouds as he remembers the restrictions first years live under.

‘I saw her just a month ago, in Montserrat. She’s great.’ I tell him.

‘A month ago?’ Brennan looks relieved, but he looks at me questioningly.

I launch into an explanation of the squad battle and my visit to the front. Brennan looks surprised and then pleased.

‘I was so worried about you, when I heard you were in the quadrant.’ Brennan admits, ‘I struggled to believe it when Riorson told me you were adjusting well. But you really are really thriving, aren't you Violet?’

‘I am.’ I agree happily. ‘With the support of my friends; I have a great squad, Andarna is wonderful and Xaden too. I couldn’t have done it without them.’

‘Xaden’s been helping you? He didn’t mention that.’ Brennan says curiously.

‘With my signet. When he realised Carr’s lessons weren’t useful, he helped me stop over-thinking and showed me how to use it in close combat.’ I explain, thinking fondly of how he’d believed in me when it felt like on-one else did and of how surprisingly modest it is of him not to take credit for that with Brennan.

‘And he told you about all of this?’ Brennan asks, gesturing to himself and the house. His smile is gone now and if I’m right he looks disapproving. 

‘Not exactly.’ I say, defensive of Xaden. ‘You remember the letters I stole in squad battle?’ I tell him I accidentally kept one, and how Andarna helped me fill in the missing pieces when I read it and realised I had no-idea what was really going on outside Navarre. ‘I was so caught up in what I’d discovered I missed dinner, Xaden came looking for me and found me pouring over dad’s old story book the Fable of the Barrens and, well, Xaden knew what it meant.’

‘Did he?’ Asks Brennan stiffly.

The door to the room opens and Xaden, looking relaxed and at ease in a way that makes me smile, comes in with Garrick. He crosses to us with two mugs for what smells like hot cocoa. His gaze searches mine as he puts them down on the small table between me and Brennan. I smile at him and he winks as he straightens.

Before either of us realise what’s happening - Xaden’s focus is still on me-  Brennan has jumped up out of his chair and is throwing his fist into Xaden’s face.

‘She’s my sister!’ Brennan yells. I grab Brennan’s arm and he tries to shake me off as he keeps yelling at Xaden. ‘My baby sister! And you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants?’

Blood begins to flow from Xaden’s nose and Garrick strides to Xaden’s side. 

Before any more punches can be thrown I wield with Brennan to the far side of the room.

‘What the actual fuck, Brennan?’ I demand, putting myself between him and his target.

‘Move aside Violet.’ He says, trying to push past me.

‘No.’ I say, standing to my full height. ‘There is not going to be any more hitting.’

I glance over my shoulder to see Xaden holding a handkerchief to his face and waving Garrick off. His gaze slides from me to Brennan with a calm that should be a warning.

‘You're her wingleader.’ Brennan spits. 

‘We are all aware of that.’ I snap at him.

My brother looks back at me. ‘I know you feel fond of him because he’s helped you, but Violet this isn’t good for you. Getting involved with a superior officer? Can’t you see what a huge imbalance of power there is between you?’ 

‘If you think that Xaden would ever use his position against me that way then you don’t know him at all.’ I say, my voice shaking with anger and hurt now.

Brennan must register the emotion in my voice because he drops his arm and takes a step back to look at me properly. But he’s not done. ‘It’s against codex Violet.’ Brennan says weakly.

‘I’m committing treason Brennan!’ I yell, ‘the slap on the wrist I’d get if our relationship is discovered is the least of my worries.’

‘The fact he brought you into this isn’t exactly a point in his favor.’ Brennan nods his chin towards Xaden.

‘I’m not here because of him. I’m here because I couldn’t live with the version of myself I would be if I wasn’t.’ I tell him, my tone wounded. ‘I thought you, of all people, would understand that.’

And Brennan has the decency to look contrite. ‘I’m sorry Violet.’ He says softly. ‘I always hoped, out of all our family, you would see things the way I do - if you knew. I am glad you are here.’ 

When he steps forwards to hug me I let him.

‘This doesn't mean I forgive you for punching Xaden.’ I tell him.

‘And this doesn't mean I’m happy about whatever is going on between you two.’ Brennan counters.

‘You don’t have to be happy about it but you do have to get used to it.’ Xaden says, his deep voice cutting across the room. ‘Because I’m in love with Violet.’

Brennan releases me from the hug and I turn to Xaden with a smile on my lips. I find his eyes on me, intense and dark.

‘And I’m hers, for as long as she’ll have me.’ Xaden promises.

Chapter Text

It was first light when Sgeayl woke him. The sun not high enough to touch the shutters of his room in Riorson house.

‘If I must be awake at this unpleasant hour then so must you.’ The Blue rumbled with a sharp swish of her tail and irritated shake of her body that Xaden could feel through their open connection.

Xaden sighed and shifted onto his back in the warm comfort of his bed. His real bed - the one in his home. ‘Thank you for waking me.’ Politeness and gratitude was always a good strategy when Sgeayl was moody because she missed her mate.

‘I am not in a mood.’ Sgeayl hissed. ‘And you can hardly talk, you are much worse than I when you are separated from the girl.’ With that she shielded him out.

Xaden wasn’t sure that was fair. He knew he’d been distracted when she spent the week at the front, but he didn’t snap at people when he had to spend a single night away from Violet. He was certain of that because Bodhi and Garric would have ribbed him for it.

He summoned a gentle mage light beside the bed and looked to his side where Violet was sleeping. He gently brushed her loose hair back from her face and pressed a kiss to her cheek. He was loath to do it. It should have been a crime to disturb a scene so perfect as Violet sleeping soundly in his shirt, beneath his blankets, in his house. 

‘Wake up, Love.’ Xaden said gently.

Her eyes fluttered open and she peered at him in sleepy confusion, reaching for him. Her hands pawed at him and she snuggled closer to bury her face in his chest.

‘I've dreamed of having you here.’ Xaden spoke softly, stroking her hair and returning her embrace. ‘But the reality is even better. Even if you usually have less on, in my fantasies.’ Xaden chuckled

He felt her humm against his chest in acknowledgement, her arms tightening briefly.

‘But I am afraid we can’t linger in bed today, we have to fly back to Basgiath.’

Violet’s head shot up and she took in the room around her. ‘We are in Aretia.’ She stated.

‘Yes.’ Xaden laughed.

Violet tossed the blankets back and slipped out of his arms to bound towards his washroom.

He tried not to sigh in disappointment and got out of bed too.

It had been late when they had finally turned in for the night. So late it was early. When Violet started yawning uncontrollably Xaden had insisted they get some sleep. They had left Brennan to pour over the information Violet had brought and refine his plan. 

That was after Brennan had calmed down, of course, and after Violet had bullied him into mending Xaden’s nose. She had convinced Xaden to allow him to do it with significantly gentler persuasion.

Garric had laughed under his breath and given him a shit-eating grin as Xaden clenched his jaw and let the mender back near his face. But Xaden didn’t care if his friend thought Violet had him wrapped around her little finger. After all, she had such lovely fingers.

Xaden watched Violet while they dressed, not just because she slipped his spare shirt over her head to reveal all of her enticingly soft skin but because he wanted to remember her here in his room. He saw that her eyes moved over his room with interest while she dressed. Her gaze lingered on the books along one wall and Xaden thought with a thrill of taking her to see the library, of how her eyes would light up.

When Violet slipped on her vest Xaden stepped behind her to tighten the laces for her. She could do it herself, he knew that, but he liked helping her.

When they were dressed Xaden took her hand to lead her downstairs to the kitchen.

‘You grew up here?’ Violet asked softly in the empty corridor.

‘Yes,’ He answered. ‘With Bodhi, his room is on this floor on the other side of the stairs.’

Violet squeezed his hand gently and when he looked at her, her hazel eyes swam with understanding and empathy. That look held acknowledgement of everything he left unsaid, but not pity.

Xaden tugged her closer, dropping her hand in order to wrap his arm around her and holding her against his side. He led her all the way down stairs, past countless unused rooms, to the lowest floor of the house.

In the kitchen of Riorson house they found people awake and already at work. The house now held a fraction of the occupants it had had when his father had lived. But even that small number required feeding and the kitchen was bright and alive with chatter, much as it had ever been, although that was because the space now served as both kitchen and dining hall. The grand gathering hall next door currently stood unused. 

A small group of men and women  in aprons paused in their work when he entered and bowed and curtsied. The soldiers who were eating breakfast at the long central table likewise acknowledged Xaden’s entrance by inclining their heads in respect. He acknowledged them in return and the conversation resumed.

Beside him Violet had tensed at the noticeable hush. When he led her to two seats opposite Garrick, Violet gave him a questioning look.

He smiled at her, amused, while he reached for freshly baked raisin buns to put on both their plates. He was unsure exactly what about this scenario was a surprise to her.

Violet looked down at the bun with distrust and held up her hand in protest as he offered her mushrooms and sausages. “I’m not sure I should give my stomach something to throw up.” She admitted.

“It’s like sea sickness, it’s worse on an empty stomach.” Xaden warned her. He didn’t like the idea of her not eating. She’d only had a few hours sleep, she at least needed a good meal to be alert.

“I’m not sure I believe that.” Violet muttered, but she did then accept the food and took a tentative bite of her bun. Her eyes widened in surprise and her second bite was much more enthusiastic.

Satisfied, Xaden tucked into his own breakfast.

“Here’s the finished plan.” Brennan said, joining them and taking the seat beside garrick.

“Thank you.” Violet looked up with interest and held out her hand to take the document her brother held out. She shifted her plate and started reading through it while she sipped coffee.

“In essence it hasn't changed from what we agreed on last night, I’ve just fleshed out the details.” Brennan noted.

Violet nodded at this but didn’t raise her head.

Brennan helped himself to breakfast and met Xaden’s eye over the table with a look that worried him. “You know, of course, what the assembly will say when they hear.”

Xaden put his cutlery down with deliberate slowness. “What will they say?”

“Ulices will argue that we need to re-open negotiations with Tecarus.” Brennan said, his eyes moving between Xaden and Violet at his side.

Garrick responded in a way that was not helpful, looking up in alarm and glancing at Violet like a kid caught sneaking cookies from the kitchen.

“Absolutely not.” Xaden could feel himself getting angry and fought to keep his shoulders from tensing or let it colour his tone.

“He won’t be alone. If we have lost access to Naravre’s luminary we need to find another way to source weapons and Tecarus has the only other one we know of.” Brennan said.

Violet was paying attention to them now. She looked at Xaden with a clear question on her face. He hoped she would wait to ask it.

Brennan watched them and raised his eyebrow. Doesn’t she know? He seemed to ask.

“I’m not changing my mind.” Xaden said firmly. “You can tell Ulices and the rest of the assembly that there is no way in hell I’m re-opening that negotiation.”

He wasn’t totally successful in keeping the anger out of his voice and that made Violet’s brow scrunch in confusion.

“Latter.” He whispered, bending to press a kiss against the top of her braided hair.

She nodded in acceptance and Xaden was able to breathe a little easier.

Brennan sighed and seemed resigned to droppin the matter. They all ate in some-what comfortable silence until he spoke again. “Actually, Riorson, there are a few Assembly matters it would be good to get your opinion on while you are here.”

Xaden sighed and pulled his pocket watch out to check the time and unhappily told Brennan he could spare half an hour. He had wanted to spend that time showing Violet the library, but he promised himself next time they were here there would be time to show her everything.

…………………..

“When I reach for a location I hold the idea of it in my mind and I feel my signet focus on it. It’s like the power I’m channeling flows into it and then I’m there.” I say, then open my eyes to look at Garrick where he stands in the mountain clearing that the dragons use as a flight field.

He had suggested we wait here for Xaden and take the opportunity to talk distance wielding.

“Do you feel the distance between you and it?” He asks with a thoughtful look.

“I do.” I say. “I can feel how far somewhere is, how much power it will take to reach it.”

Andarna, already in her harness, shifts in my peripheral vision where she sits beside Chradh. I can feel their attention and her curiosity like the warmth of the sun on my face.

“When I wield I have to pull the distance towards me, like I’m holding one end of a blanket and have to gather it in my arms.” Garrick tells me.

“Interesting,” I tilt my head thoughtfully.

“Could you wield me somewear?” Garrick asks. “I want to feel the difference.”

I offer him my hand. “I think I’m limited by touch.” I tell him.

When he grasps my hand I wield us across the clearing.

Garrick starts and looks around him while Andarna and Chradh both turn so they are facing us again.

“That is unnerving.” Garrick says, dropping my hand. “It felt like we didn’t move at all.”

Sgeayl’s arrival informs us that Xaden is ready to leave. Her shadow passes over us before she lands beside the two other dragons at the far end of the clearing.

“Want me to wield us back?” Garrick asks. “It might help you get used to it.”

I can see the sense of what he says and nod, hoping I didn’t make a mistake eating breakfast.

Garrick offers me his arm. “You’ll have to step with me.” He explains. “I’ll count, step on three okay?”

I let him tuck my arm into his elbow and at least feel reassured that whatever happens he’ll be able to keep me on my feet. I lift my foot when he does.

“Ready? One, two, three.”

The field around us blurs for a second and I feel the distance we travel flying past us. We stop with a jolt, but Garrick does stop me from tumbling forward onto my face.

Brennan jumps slightly in shock as we must appear before him out of thin air.

Xaden looks unsurprised, but he does lift an eyebrow in question as I regain my ballance. I guess between Garrick and myself he had become desensitised to people distance wielding around him.

“Having fun?” Xaden asks when he sees my smile.

“I don’t feel like being sick.” I note happily.

“You do get used to it.” Xaden notes, returning my smile.

When I turn to Brennan he has a conflicted look on his face, he smiles half-heartedly but his eyes look sad. Wordlessly, I step forward to let him wrap me in a hug. 

“I am so, so proud of you.” He says softly. “Please stay safe.”

I squeeze him more tightly. “You too, Bren.”

Then it’s time for me to step back and leave. I watch Brennan as Andarna launches us up into the air.

He waves to me until I’m out of sight.

It’s still unpleasant when Garric wields us back to Basgiath, the world seems to go on moving aground me and I put my head down on Andarna’s neck, blindly trusting her to take me where we need to go. By the time we have landed in a forest clearing with-in my range of the citadel it is passing and I can slide down Andarna’s side as Xaden leaps from Sgaeyl.

He crosses to me quickly as the Blue takes off. Concern for me is written on his face, but he smiles as he sees my expression and lifts a hand to cup the back of my neck.

Beside us Garrick clears his throat. ‘You’ve got him from here, right Vi?’

I bite my lip on a laugh and turn to face Garrick. ‘Yes, I can wield him back from here.’

‘Great,’ Garrick winks at me. ‘Make sure he’s on time for formation.’

Xaden looks like he’s going to say something in objection to being spoken of like a child, or a bundle of goods being delivered, but Garrick is gone before he can turn to face him. He huffs and frowns at the space where his friend was standing. ‘Asshole.’ He mumbles.

‘Now that we are alone…’ I start, taking one of Xaden’s hands in mine and pulling his attention back to me.

His onyx eyes flash back to me and a smirk tugs at the corner of his mouth. ‘Yes, Violence?’

I look up into his face and ask sweetly; ‘Is it a good time to ask you what the hell Brennan was talking about at breakfast?’

Chapter Text

Xaden’s face falls and for a moment I feel bad for his disappointment but he clearly hadn’t wanted to discuss - whatever it is - in front of Brennan and I exercised extreme restraint waiting until now to ask.

‘Allright,’ He sighs heavily and runs the hand I’m not holding through his hair. ‘Viscount Tecarus of Poromiel collects things; rare objects and people with unique talents. My father made an alliance with him to gain access to his luminary. However, I realised Tecarus had no intention of ever letting us bring the luminary to Aretia and I made the decision to break off the agreement.’  Xaden pauses and I wait for him to resume speaking, but he doesn't.

I can feel my eyebrows rising with incredulity, there is no way that is the end of the story. ‘And?’ I prompt. ‘Brennan thinks the assembly will want to negotiate to reinstate the alliance? That sounds logical to me.’

‘Violet,’ Xaden’s voice is strained. ‘Alliances are secured by marriages.’

Oh.

‘Tecarus’s daughter?’ I whisper.

‘His niece.’ Xaden winces.

‘When exactly did you -’

‘Last spring.’ Xaden answers firmly before I can finish asking my question. ‘It was over before I met you. I meant what I said to your brother last night. I’m yours Violet, for as long as you’ll have me.’ He steps closer and brings his hand to my face.

‘Did you love her?’ I ask in a small voice.

‘No.’ Xaden shakes his head. ‘I didn’t even particularly like her.’ There is a bitter twist to his mouth. ‘I was only considering going through with it for the Luminary.’

It shouldn’t make me feel better to know he hadn’t been in love with this woman, but it does. I didn’t ever deceive myself that Xaden didn’t have a history before we got involved, but having been engaged is different to the string of flings and casual sex I’d imagined made up that history.

I realise what I’m feeling is jealousy, for a woman I don’t know. Whom Xaden says he doesn't even like. But I can’t help it, I’m jealous and I’m angry. 

I can feel my hackles rising just at the thought of the Aretian assembly urging him to reforge this alliance, breaking things off with me in the process. The cool, rational, part of my brain can admit there is a logic to it, my brother could clearly see that; the revolution needs a Luminary.

But the thought of Xaden making promises to someone else; marrying someone else awakens a possessive rage inside my chest that almost frightens me in it’s ferocity.

‘Are we alright?’ Xaden asks, searching my face.

‘She can’t have you.’ I say forcefully, the fierceness of my own words taking me by surprise. I close what little space is between us and grab the front of Xaden’s flight jacket in both hands. ‘No-one else can. You said you're mine for as long as I’ll have you? Well that’s forever Xaden. I'm never giving you up.’

Xaden gazes down at me with an intensity that matches my words. Any shadow of embarrassment at my outburst flees as his beautiful mouth curves into a victorious smile. He looks at me like a man who’s just gotten everything he wants.

‘Good.’ Xaden says as his arms wrap around my waist to hold me closer. ‘Forever was what I was hoping for.’

………………….

There is an unreal quality to returning to routine at Basgiath after farewelling Brennan in Aretia. I struggle a little to give my classes my usual attention and my thoughts are too often miles away.

I’m preoccupied thinking about Brennan’s plan, about how Xaden and the others will implement it and worrying about how well it will work. Brennan agreed we should do what I suggested and misdirect the investigation, but in a dispersed way that hopefully avoids framing any innocent people. 

Frustratingly my involvement is limited to breaking into my mother’s office to stay updated with what she knows. Xaden and Brennan both agreed that I wasn't going to join the regular trips out of Basgiath. 

Because of Garrick, I can’t even argue that they will need my signet. As a result I fall asleep alone on the nights Xaden and Garrick sneak out late with Imogen to enact the first steps of the plan.

I miss him terribly on the nights he is gone, not liking this taste of the year to come. While I lie awake and alone in his bed my thoughts too often drift to wondering how we will arm the rebellion, let alone Poromiel, without a Luminary. 

Our last battle for the first round of war games approaches too quickly. We will have a brief reprieve before reunification day and the finale but it feels like in no-time at all the term will be over and Xaden will graduate. 

Every afternoon is spent with my squad to finish putting scales on the new harness before the deadline of the battle with Third Wing. The burn healing on my leg is a constant reminder that despite the name it’s anything but a game we are playing.

One evening Rhiannon follows me back to my room when I go to get ready for dinner and corners me to talk. 

‘All right, what’s going on Violet?’ She stands in front of me with her hands on her hips in the center of the room and gives me a pointed look.

‘What are you talking about?’ I ask guiltily.

Rhiannon’s eyes narrow. ‘Don’t do that. Don’t pretend everything is fine. Something is up with you. You aren’t answering questions in class and you didn’t groan at any of Ridoc’s jokes this afternoon. You are distracted and it’s not lovey-dovey distracted either - you're not ignoring the conversation at dinner  because you’re too busy making bedroom eyes at the leadership table; you frown down at your plate or stare off into space.’

I find I can’t hold her gaze and I look down at my feet like I’m a child being scolded by a parent.

Rhiannon sighs heavily. ‘I’m just worried about you Violet.’ I can hear it in her voice. ‘Is something wrong? Are you in some kind of trouble?’ She says this gently, putting a hand on my arm.

It’s so, so hard not to tell her.

I shake my head and swallow thickly. ‘I’m alright Rhi, I promise. I’m just - worried about the future.’ It’s the closest I can get to telling her what’s really bothering me.

When I look up there is no judgement in Rhiannon’s face, just worry. ‘What about the future Vi? About this Friday and the harness? Or next year?’

‘Both!’ I say realizing it’s true. ‘Next year and the year after. Once, I thought I knew what was ahead of me. I could imagine what my life would be like in five, or even ten years, but now -’ I shrug and gesture at the room around me, at the daggers and everything in rider black. ‘I don’t even have certainty about next week.’

It doesn't matter that once I’d thought I’d marry Dain, follow him from post to post like my father had done my mother, raise his children. I’d thought I’d be a scribe and I thought I’d be fighting for Navarre in a war that I thought I understood.

‘Whatever happens, You’ll have us.’ Rhiannon says.

I try to smile at her as she pulls me into a hug.

We join the others for dinner and for a while I think I’ve satisfied Rhiannon that she doesn't have to keep worrying about me. But as I make an effort to pay more attention to the conversation at my table I also notice Rhiannon watching me with a slight frown on her face.
………………….

The night before the battle I exit Liam’s room with Rhiannon, Sawyer and Ridoc. We stayed working on the harness late, in one last push we managed to finish covering every remaining inch of the leather with scales. We are all tired - but all wear happy smiles.

‘If I ever have to use a drill again it will be too soon.’ Ridoc says, yawning into his hand. ‘No offense Vi.’

‘None taken.’ I say over the folded harness in my arms. It’s significantly bulkier now, but still manageable for me to carry. ‘I certainly hope we never have to do this again.’

‘Agreed.’ Rhiannon says at my side, smothering a yawn of her own. ‘But it’s worth it, to keep you safe.’ She slings her arm around my shoulder.

I find myself blinking tears out of my eyes. ‘Thanks. You guys are the best.’ It makes me feel so much worse that I’m keeping secrets from them.

Rhiannon walks me to my room and we part with a promise to meet early tomorrow.

When I’m dressed in my nightgown with my hair loose down my back I wield from my bedroom to Xaden’s. I expect the room to be dark and empty but when I wield in I'm met by the warm glow of a mage light and Xaden seated in the arm chair by his bed, book in hand.

‘Hello beautiful.’ He closes the book and his mouth curves into a soft smile.

I cross the room in a blink without thinking about it and accept his non-verbal offer to sit on his lap and rest my head against his shoulder.  He’s dressed for bed too and his bare skin is warm under both my cheek and the hand I rest on his chest.

‘You are back sooner than I expected.’ I sigh, relaxing completely against him.

‘Hmm. It was straightforward tonight.’ Xaden says softly as he strokes my loose hair and presses a kiss to my head. ‘You were with Liam late, did you get the harness finished?’

‘Yes, we got it done. I’m all ready for tomorrow.’

‘Good.’ Xaden says and there is relief in his voice.

‘You didn’t have to wait up for me.’ I tell him.

Xaden shrugs under me. ‘I couldn't've slept without you. I thought I’d read to try and calm my mind while I waited.’

I look up at him and I can see how tight his face is. He’s holding tension in his jaw and forehead. His eyes are fixed on the book resting under his hand on the side of the chair, his thumb tracing gently over the tyrrish script on the spine.

‘Hey,’ I say, reaching a hand up to stroke his face. ‘What is it?’

Xaden’s frown deepens as he speaks. ‘I don’t know what they have planned for us tomorrow. And after the last battle? I honestly don’t know what else they can try to throw at us.’

‘After the last one?’ I ask in confusion.

Xaden meets my eye with amusement, the worry lifting momentarily. ‘Yes. It was intended to be unwinnable for us, for me.’ He winces. ‘There is no precedent for giving two major defence objectives like that. Panchek and Aetos wanted to try and put me in my place.’ There is a bitter twist to his lips as he says that. Then his eyes meet mine again and his face softens. ‘But they didn’t count on you, Violet.’

The clear pride and admiration in his gaze makes me smile. ‘But now they know what I’m capable of.’ I say and my smile drops.

‘You are no-longer my secret weapon.’ Xaden agrees with a sad nod.

I think for a moment before I speak. ‘Before the last game you told me a little birdy had given you a hint.’

Xaden nods. ‘The birds have been frustratingly quiet this week.’

‘Who was your source?’ I wonder out loud. ‘There is no-way it was anyone in Panchek’s office. Was it Kaori?’

‘How do you know my source isn’t the same one you have for learning your challenge opponents beforehand?’ Xaden says teasingly, but with a smirk that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Unless I’m mistaken he’s uncomfortable with how close I am to the truth.

‘It can’t be,’ I tease. ‘Then I’d have known too.’

Xaden’s eyes narrow.

‘But seriously, do you want me to snoop around and see what I can find?’ I offer, moving my arms to lift myself off the chair.

‘No.’ Xaden wraps me in his arms, though we both know he could never keep me somewhere I didn’t want to be. 

I relax back against him all the same. ‘If you’re sure?’

‘I am.’ Xaden sighs. ‘It’s too late to do anything to prepare now. I just have to try and keep from mulling over it.’ He leans his head back and closes his eyes.

‘Well that I can help with.’ I breathe, turning my face into his neck and brushing my lips against the skin under his jaw. I kiss my way along the sharp line, at the same time slowly tracing my hand down his bare chest and feel his breathing change.

‘Violet.’ He speaks my name like a prayer and twists his fingers into my hair so he can hold my head still and kiss me.

The next time I try to slip off his lap, this time to kneel between his feet, Xaden makes no objections.
………………

The morning of our third battle for War Games, the last before reunification day, dawns bright and clear. Before breakfast I wield with my squad mates out to the flight field. They watch as I secure the finished harness behind Andarna’s front legs.

‘Well done squad.’ Ridoc says, looping an arm of my shoulder and one over Sawyers as I stand back with them to admire the finished harness.

Andarna struts and turns back, preening at us as we all take a moment to bask in the achievement.
…………..

As I stand in formation that afternoon and listen to our assignment I wait for the other rubber-soled rider boot to drop. It can’t be that simple, can it?

At the head of the wing Xaden dismisses us to follow the commands of our section and squad leaders. His gaze catches on me for a moment, his face unreadable before he lifts his brows an almost imperceptible fraction. He’s as confused as I am, but yes that is all there is.

‘Flame section!’ Calls Garrick, ‘We have the southwest region to scout, everything from the edge of the field to the east side of the razor-back range.’ He gives us further instructions, reiterating what Xaden had told us, and then leads us up to the flight field. He frowns more than usual and I wonder if the simplicity of our assignment makes him uneasy too.

Third Wing has been given one objective to defend and our only goal is to capture it. No flags to defend, no side quests in the citadel. Find the egg, steal it. Plain and simple. At least, it seems simple.

We have been in the air for a while and no-one from Flame Section - human or dragon - has spotted anything. Andarna and I fly in our place in the squad's formation, at the back. It’s unlikely we will see anything here that Liam doesn’t spot first with his far sight at the front. However, our role really is to provide cover and support in the event we are attacked. 

We near the outer edge of the battle field and the squad turns as one, wings dipping and bodies angling as we skim the invisible barrier in order to return for another sweep over our assigned zone. I hold tight and feel the security of leather around my legs working against gravity. I've missed flying with this freedom. I've started to relax, allowing myself to enjoy the extended flight with Andarna, safe in the knowledge that my friend's love and dedication once again helps me hold my seat.

‘I have missed it too.’ Andarna tells me.

That’s where we are; on the furthest edge of the when the news comes. An occupied fort has been located by Tail Section and our flight moves as one to re-join the rest of the wing.

We crest over the razor-back range, a sharp line of steep sided mountains carved by glaciers long ago, and fly into the wide valley beyond. At the center I can see dragons in the air. The battle is well underway by the time we reach it. Fourth Wing’s squads are engaging Third Wing who are fiercely pushing our dragons back, keeping them out of range from where they can land and their riders can storm the practice fort.

‘We are being directed to aid the attack on the west side.’ Andarna tells me as we move with the rest of Second Squad. 

I can see Chradh ahead of us, flying with Flame Section’s first squad. It looks like Third Wing has been holding a line, keeping Fourth Wing back but not aiming to drive us out of the valley. I’m not able to take in much more of the battlefield before the dynamic changes dramatically. There is a sudden flurry as more dragons launch from the valley floor and a number of others drop out of fights to swing in a new direction. Our direction.

‘They are on course to intercept us.’ Andarna confirms. 

But the formation of Third Wing dragons disperses before the front of my squad can engage. Some dragons drop below them and others fly above, others part and fly to the sides of our squad.

I turn in my seat, keeping my eyes on a red closest to us as they pivot on a wing tip and fly back towards us. Towards me. I see the rider on the Red’s back swing a crossbow around from their back and take aim.

Andarna snarls and I’m not sure if it’s out loud or only in my mind that I hear her. An impression flashes in my mind of the open sky behind the Red. ‘Wield.’ Andaran commands.

I take us there and look down on the other rider who slings their crossbow back over her shoulder as her dragon flees Andarna’s range. 

An Orange replaces them, flying up into the air before us and opening their jaws to breath a blast of fire at us. 

I’m thankful for both the scales on the harness and the runes that are tempered into every item of clothing I’m wearing. I barely feel the heat.

What I do feel is Andarna’s anger and her wish to be close enough to wrap her jaws around the Orange’s neck. I see her desire in my mind and it’s instinctive for me to wield us.  

Andarna lunges at the other dragon, taking them by surprise, her jaws capturing the dragon below the jaw. Her front claws sink into it’s neck as she digs her hind legs into their belly. Her rage is my rage and her satisfaction at the taste of blood is mine.

I’m dimly aware I could shield myself from the bond, reduce this onslaught and regain some control, but what if Andarna needs me to wield again?

‘Harm my rider and your death will follow swiftly.’ Andarna warns. The words ring in my head like they started there. She - we press the barb of our tail just hard enough to hurt into the tender flesh behind the foolish Orange’s front leg.

The other dragon lets out a bellow of pain and capitulation. 

I’m vaguely aware of falling, Andarna isn’t beating her wings and we are causing the other dragon to drop towards the valley floor.

I hear a raw behind me and I turn to see an unknown Green from Third Wing flying towards us.

‘Enough.’ I whisper.

‘Here.’ Andarna speaks to me again and she shows me where she wants me to take us, up hight above the battle.

I look down and for a moment two versions of the valley shift before me. I blink my eyes furiously and feel Andarna mentally pull back from me. Once again I’m only looking down through my own eyes. From here I can see my squad has re-grouped. Everyone is still seated and flying - they look unharmed. The squad that attacked isn’t engaging them, rather they have re-grouped too and are heading our way.

‘We are the target.’ I observe. 

‘It would seem so.’ Andarna confirms. ‘The Squad Leader is ordering us to fall back, to leave the battle.’

Third Wing must be worried that if I fly close enough to the tower I can wield in, and this targeted attack is to stop me from doing just that. Although I could wield to the base of the tower from here if I was ordered to do that.

‘We should take cover.’ I note.

Andarna looks to a rocky shelf nearby, part-way down a cliff. It is in shadow so we might be hidden but still able to see the battle.

It would be easy for me to place myself on my feet on that rock - unfortunately I have less experience placing Andarna with precision. 

I try to picture in my mind how large Andarna is and how much room she needs to land, but visualising it- it’s a little like trying to hold water in my hands.

‘Here.’

Andaran opens her mind more to me again, but instead of feeling blood flow over claws I don’t have, I feel wings catching the air, a tail extending behind me and I curve it to help me turn. I feel the comforting weight of my own body on Andarna’s back and I feel how much space she takes up from tail to snout.

I reach with my signet and at the same moment Andana tucks her wings and extends her legs to land.

We drop onto the out-crop gently and I open my own eyes again to look out over the battlefield.

The view isn’t as good as it was from up in the sky, I can see the fort and most of the battle from here. Most importantly we will have enough warning if we are spotted and need to escape. Above us the squad from Third Wing who were flying towards us now scatter, probably searching the valley for where we have relocated to.

‘You should dismount.’ Andarana suggests. ‘You will be better hidden if I shield you from the sky.’

I lift a hand to my head where my hair is pinned up into my usual coronet braid. I don’t need to see it to know the silver will be like a beacon to anyone looking for me. In the shadow of the mountains Andarna’s glossy scales have dulled, their usual rainbow shine hidden and they seem to reflect the rock around us rather than the sky above.

I slip my feet out of my harness while I think about the possibility of getting a hood for my flight jacket. It will never stay in place during flight but one I can pull up over my face at moments like this might be handy.

When I’ve slid down Andarna’s side she shifts her forelegs so I can settle into the space between them, under her neck. They are still sticky with blood and my nose wrinkles at the smell. I lean against Andarna’s chest and look out at the movement of dragons with disappointment.

‘Does Garric know Dain ordered us from the field?’ I ask Andarna.

‘Yes. He had the section leader’s approval.’ Andarna tells me after a beat. Her tone is neutral but I know she shares my irritation at being sidelined. It’s like an itch at the back of my mind.

It stings a little more knowing Garric approved this. I had thought we were becoming friends in our own right, outside of both our relationships with Xaden.

I can see the top of the stone fort from here and I know I could reach across the space with my signet. I could place Andarna and myself there, she could cover my entry and I could search the tower for the egg. Once I was inside no-one in the quadrant could stop me and this battle would be over in minutes.

‘Can you make that offer to Sgeayl?’ I ask. It’s not really following protocol, going over the heads of my immediate superiors to Xaden. But fuck it, being his secret girlfriend should count for something right? It’s not like I make a habit of asking him for favors and I’m really just making sure he knows that option is there.

‘Your Wingleader thanks you for the offer but asks that you remain where you are.’ Andarna responds after a moment. There is a definitely a tone of displeasure this time.

I huff a little to myself and try to settle more comfortably on the rock to wait for the battle to end.

‘You’ll tell me if any of our friends need our help, right?’ I ask Andarna. Not even Xaden could stop me from going to the aid of my friends.

‘Of course.’ Andarna promises. ‘They know we are nearby if they need us.’

I try to wait patiently but my backside starts to go numb and I have to move position before it’s over. Thankfully no-one from our squad calls for help before Fourth Wing takes the tower.

There is an uneasy sensation sitting with me as Andarna and I fly back to the flight field. I’m glad it’s over and I’m also glad Xaden’s won his third battle in a row - but I can’t help feeling both frustrated and disappointed that I wasn’t a part of it.

Chapter Text

‘You are so good at this, it’s unfair.’ I pout.

Liam looks at me in the lamp light and lowers the practice disk with yet another perfect rune tempered into it. 

I sigh heavily and pull my knees up to my chest as I watch him start another. I shift where I sit, finding a slightly more comfortable position against the trunk of the tree. It’s our tree; mine and Xaden’s. The one I spied on him from and the one we stood under when we first said I love you to each other. 

It’s unclear to me if Liam knows the significance, why I suggested we settle under this tree. But I wanted to feel like Xaden was close, even if he’s miles away.

Andarna gives me a brief mental nudge, a gesture of support and comfort. Although she is a picture of rest behind me with her tail tucked and her eyes closed she isn’t asleep. She sensed my mood and joined us out here when Sgeayl and Xaden flew out after nightfall.

Watching Liam work his rune with ease fills me with both admiration and jealousy. It’s not just that his runes always look like perfect copies of the illustrations in the book we are working from; Liam’s hands move with graceful ease as he weaves them and doesn't need to keep peering at the diagrams the way I do.

I’m surrounded by a scattering of the wooden disks all tempered with wonky runes. That is the ones that worked - I’m still at the phase where they sometimes blow up on me while I’m trying to temper them. Hence why Liam brought me here to sit under a tree by the river to practice, rather than staying in the dorms.

‘Don’t compare yourself to me.’ Liam says gently.

‘It’s hard not to.’ I mutter. I accept Xaden excels at anything he sets his mind to, and that includes mastering runes. Garrick, Bodhi and Imogen naturally have a year or more head start on me. But Liam is also a first year, it’s disheartening that he does this with more ease than any of them.

Liam sighs. ‘It comes naturally to me. It’s like when I carve something: I can already see in my mind what I want it to be. I can turn the shape of the dragon or the rune over in my head and know how to move my hands to reveal it.’ He looks down at the disk of wood in his hand. ‘My mom always said it was our gift, if I chose to be a rider like her, the way my mind works would help me excel at this.’ He has a sad bitter-sweet smile on his face.

I lean over the lamp that sits on the ground between us to put my hand on Liam’s arm. “Was she good at runes?” I ask.

His smile shows his dimples when he meets my eyes, although his are bright with tears. ‘The best.’

Behind me, tucked under the broad canopy of the tree, Andarna lifts her head as she hears footsteps on the forest path that leads to the citadel.

Although they are still too far away for me and Liam to hear them, we both tense and turn in the direction Andarna is looking.

She sniffs the air. ‘It’s Cuir’s rider.’ Andarna informs me.

‘Just Bodhi.’ I say with a sigh and Liam relaxes.

Bodhi's form comes into view and he gives us a friendly wave and I see he has several bottles of something in his hands. ‘Though I might find you two here.’

‘How’s the celebration going?’ Liam asks.

‘Getting pretty rowdy.’ Bodhi laughs, joining us under the tree. ‘My head was starting to hurt from the noise.’

After our third straight win in war games the rest of Fourth Wing is jubilant. There will be more than one sore head at formation tomorrow.

Bodhi’s face falls as he takes in Liam’s expression. ‘Are you alright?’ He shifts the bottles into the crook of his elbow inorder to put his hand on his friend’s shoulder as he kneels.

‘Yeah, Vi and I were just talking about runes.’ Liam says.

Bodhi must know that means his mom. He nods with understanding and folds his long legs under himself as he settles next to Liam. ‘I brought you both some celebration. Lavender lemonade is your favorite, right Violet?’

‘I don’t feel much like celebrating.’ I mumble. I distract myself by attempting another rune. This one actually resembles the shape it is meant to be and I put it decidedly aside from the wonky ones. I do notice Liam shrugging in response to a non-verbal question from Bodhi as he accepts a bottle of something.

‘Why don’t you feel like celebrating?’ Bodhi asks.

‘I didn’t help.’ I shrug. ‘My presence just put our squad in danger because they targeted me, so Dain ordered me off the field. I spent most of the battle hiding and now everyone will think it’s that easy to take me out of the equation.’

Andarna gives a grumble of displeasure.

Bodhi and Liam exchange a look.

‘We know you didn’t run from the fight.’ Liam says gently.

I frown at him. Of course I know my squad doesn't think that. This has never been about what my squad thinks of me.

‘It’s not that, Liam. I’ve worked so hard this year to shift people’s perceptions of me. When I crossed the parapet Barlowe thought I was a liability to the wings. And he wasn’t the only one.’ I look Bodhi in the eye. ‘You know, that’s what they said? Oren and Tynan? when they broke into my room and tried to kill me in my sleep. They said I shouldn’t have been allowed to live long enough to bond.’

To his credit Bodhi doesn’t seem thrown at all by this. He keeps holding my eye calmly. ‘You’ve more than proven them wrong - not just because they are both dead and you’re still here.  What happened today doesn't change that.’ Bodhi says.

‘I didn’t expect you to understand.’ I say dismissively, shrugging off his comment. ‘Xaden never has.’

Xaden sees me as his equal and I love him for it but he doesn't understand that the rest of the Quadrant don't.

‘You think I don’t know what it's like to have to prove yourself?’ Bodhi asks with a half smile. He leans forwards and gestures to himself with his bottle. ‘I’ve lived my whole life in Xaden’s shadow. Ever since we were kids I’ve been following behind, trying to meet the expectations he set. Before, it was with our parents and our instructors.’ He has a sad look on his face as he shakes his head. ‘And it’s not easier here - where the people who hate us see me as nothing more than the smaller and weaker target.’

I’m utterly stunned for a moment. ‘I’m so sorry - I didn’t realise.’ I can’t believe I never saw it before: Xaden is Bodhi’s Mira. He loves him, that’s more than clear, but that doesn't stop him from feeling inadequate by comparison.

Now it’s Bodhi’s turn to shrug. ‘It’s not exactly a bad thing to be underestimated, you know. None of us -’ He gestures to Liam beside him. ‘Exactly advertise what we are really capable of, Xaden included. If anyone thinks they can easily take you and Andarna in the air? Well it will be their introduction to Malek.’ he lifts his drink in a salute and winks at me.

And I’m surprised to find myself smiling in return.

Bodhi gestures at the bottle he put aside for me. When I nod this time he opens it and passes it over.

‘I can see why he bonded a green.’ Andarna notes with a tone of approval. 

‘Wishing you’d chosen a year earlier?’ I tease.

‘Never.’ Andarna says firmly. ‘He’s smart, but he’s no Violet Sorrengail.’

Something about what Bodhi just said has sparked my curiosity. 

‘Hey Bodhi, do you have a second signet?’ I ask.

He lifts an eyebrow while he takes a sip then shakes his head. ‘No, just one for me. Like Xaden.’

‘Not enough riders in your lineage, hu?’ Liam teases.

I've questioned Liam at length about his second signet (ice wielding), how he decided which one to keep secret (far-sight manifest first) and who in his family Deigh had bonded (his maternal grandmother).

‘No I guess not.’ Bodhi laughs. ‘Though we do have at least one. Our great uncle was a rider, actually he was bonded to Sgeayl.’

‘He was her first rider.’ Andarna tells me and sorrow colours her mental voice. ‘He died before he graduated.’

I remember Xaden mentioning that Sgeayl didn't wish Andarna to experience that exact thing. Andarna’s revelation throws everything I know about Sgeayl into a different light. Even she, with her incredible power and ferocity, has a tender side.

‘I won’t tell her you thought that.’ Andarna notes with amusement.

‘Violet?’

Bodhi speaks my name tentatively and I look back to him in surprise, drawn out of my shared thoughts with Andarna.

‘What is it?’ I ask.

He’s picked up one of my wonky runes and is turning it over, an uncertain look on his face. ‘It will be July soon.’ He notes.

‘Yes.’ I agree, puzzled. I’m all too aware of the date: in a matter of weeks it will be July. The month I turn twenty one, the month Xaden graduates and the month that marks the anniversary of his father’s death, of all of their parents executions.

‘What you mean is, it’s almost reunification day.’ I say slowly.

Bodhi nods at me.

‘What’s up, Bodhi?’ Liam asks his friend, concern on his face.

‘I just want to warn her.’ Bodhi says, glancing at me.

‘Is that necessary?’ Liam asks, sounding offended on my behalf. ‘She knows what the day is, she understands what it means.’

‘I’m not saying she doesn't.’ Bodhi frowns. He looks back at me. ‘It’s a difficult day for Xaden. It’s difficult for everyone, but especially for him. He can be a bit -’ Words seem to fail him and Bodhi looks to Liam for help.

‘Oh no, I’m not getting involved in this.’ Liam shakes his head. ‘This is all on you.’

‘What are you worried about Bodhi? That he’ll be upset, that he’ll say something or do something to drive me away?’ I raise my eyebrows at him.

Bodhi makes a face and I realize that’s exactly what he’s worried about.

‘Bodhi, do you think we’d even be having this conversation if I couldn’t handle your cousin and his moods?’ I ask pointedly.

That makes him smile a little and Bodhi sighs and runs his hand through his hair. ‘I don’t think you're stupid or insensitive Violet. It’s just Xaden always isolates himself from us, if you try to get close, or push him to talk about it, he might lash out and say something he doesn't mean. It might be best just to give him his space on that day.’

His concern is very genuine and I know he just speaks out of love for Xaden. That doesn't mean I think he’s right. 

‘Bodhi, it’s going to be okay. I understand grief and I understand Xaden.’ I promise him, aiming for a reassuring smile.

Bodhi still looks a little worried. Beside him Liam nods and smiles at me. I’m glad to have his confidence.

‘I just don’t want him to lose you.’ Bodhi admits with a frown, looking down at the ground. ‘It’s been years since I’ve seen him like this, seen him happy; living for something other than continuing our parent’s war. It’s like a part of him is back, a part I thought had died when our parents did.’

There are tears in my eyes and my throat feels tight when I try to speak. ‘He’s not going to lose me.’ I say. When Bodhi looks up at me I reach over to put my hand on his arm. ‘He’s not. I’ve decided I’m keeping him and the thing you may not know about me yet, Bodhi, is that I can be just as stubborn as him.’

‘Yeah, she can.’ Liam laughs, breaking the tension between us. ‘It’ll be alright Bodhi, you’ll see.’

Bodhi smiles as Liam pats him on the shoulder.

I take my hand back and lean back against the tree again to sip my drink.

We remain under the tree while we wait for Xaden, Imogen and Garrick to return. Liam directs us towards lighter conversation and Bodhi and I let him.

But I’m grateful for what Bodhi has shared with me, both his concerns for Xaden and his own insecurities. I feel significantly lighter and happier than I did when I followed Liam out from commons. 

‘They are back.’ Andarna tells me. She shifts and emerges from under the tree to stretch her body in a cat-like fashion.

I stand and stretch too, easing the joints and muscles that have grown stiff sitting. I walk over to Andarna and hug her head when she lowers it, leaning my body against her and wrapping my arms around her snout. 

‘Thank you for being with me.’ I tell her.

‘I always will be, whenever you need me.’ Andarna promises. 

I step back under the tree as she extends her wings and uses her strong legs to launch herself into the air.

I’m watching as Garrick steps into view, Xaden and Imogen at his sides. They were not there one moment and then the next they appear in the open space between the eaves of the forest and the river.

Xaden sees me and he smiles, dropping Garrick’s hand to stride towards me.

I was going to aim for restraint, with our friends around us, but I can’t help meeting him half way.

‘I’ve missed you.’ Xaden says as we reach each other, he cups my cheek and looks down at me with his eyes full of tenderness.

‘I’ve missed you more.’ I say, suddenly breathless. I’m overwhelmed by him, by the smell of him and the heat of his body I can feel through his leathers. My world narrows to his thumb brushing my cheek and the way his eyes hold mine.

‘Impossible.’ He smirks.

Our lips meet as Xaden dips his head to mine and I strain up onto my toes, clutching his shoulders for leverage.

‘You two are disgusting.’ Imogen says in an irritated tone. ‘Can’t you wait until we aren't here to start doing that?’

I drop back on my heels and hide my face in Xaden’s chest in embarrassment.

‘Oh come on Imogen, it wasn’t that bad. I don’t think there was even any tongue.’ Garrick says.

This doesn't help my embarrassment and I'm seriously considering wielding away.

I hear the sound of someone being smacked and it’s accompanied by Garrick’s ‘Ouch.’

‘Three hours, we were gone for three hours. They are acting like they were apart for a month.’ Imogen Mutters.

‘Did you have a successful mission?’ Liam asks, playing the peacekeeper.

‘Yep.’ Garrick says lightly.

I feel Xaden sigh heavily under my hands and face. His voice reverberates deep in his chest when he speaks. ‘In the end. We had a run-in with some guards and had to wipe their memories.’

I peek up at his face with a frown.

‘Infantry guards, none of us were hurt.’ Xaden assures me with a quick kiss to my forehead.

Bodhi asks for details and Imogen shares them, but I’m not paying much attention.

 ‘It might be time we left.’ Xaden whispers against my hair, his arms still wrapped around me.

I nod against him, then turn out of his embrace to face Liam and Bodhi. ‘Thank you, both, for this evening.’

Liam smiles. ‘Any time Vi.’

Bodhi raises the bottle he still holds in a salute and wishes me good night.

Xaden and the others say their farewells and I wield us up to his room.

There is no room for other thoughts as we stand in the center of his room and tear each other’s clothing off. Our hands hungrily seeking skin and our mouths parting only to lift garments over our heads. I’m as utterly lost in him as he seems to be in me.

But later, when I wield to my room to grab my nightgown and visit the bathroom to wash up - I start to think about what Imogen said.

When I return Xaden is in his sleep pants and is re-making the bed. I move to the opposite side to help him spread the black coverlet evenly. Then we both climb in and meet in the center. I nuzzle contentedly into his chest and he sighs happily as he dismisses the mage lights as he enfolds me in his arms.

‘I love you.’ I tell him.

‘I never get tired of hearing that. I love you too.’ He says with a soft smile in his voice. Though something more tender creeps into his tone with his next sentence. ‘I don’t know how I’ll live without this - you are vital to my existence, Violet.’

‘Hmm,’ I hum in agreement with him. I’ve been wondering the exact same thing. A plan is starting to form in my mind, but I have some work to do before I’m willing to voice it.

Chapter Text

The next day, when I look for him I find Garrick in the weights room after dinner.

‘Hey, Sorrengail, what can I do for you?’ He momentarily pauses using the machine he’s on and leans forward to give me a puzzled look.

I fight the urge to shift my feet and glance around the room. There aren't many people here but in some ways that’s worse. My words will carry more.

‘I was hoping to be able to speak with you.’ I say, going for a tone that’s casual and suitable for addressing my superior officer. ‘There is something I’d appreciate your advice on, sir.’

……………..

I think I’m getting better at hiding how I feel.

When Devera announces that King Tauri is celebrating reunification day at Basgiath and we are all expected to attend, I'm able to keep my breathing calm and my face impassive. I feel Liam’s arm beside mine tense and I sneak a peek at him. There is no outward sign on his face that he’s affected by the news. Although his fingers have tightened where they grasp his pen.

Liam must feel my eyes on him because he turns his head slightly to meet my eye.

Later I make a point of standing close to him as our squad walks back to the dormitories. Sawyer leads us to exit the academic wing and cut across the courtyard. I let my fingers brush the back of Liam’s hand as we stand close to walk through the doorway together.

‘I’m fine.’ He whispers, ducking his head to me with a grateful look on his face. But he puts his arm around my shoulder, giving me a friendly grin as we cross the courtyard.

Ahead of us our friends talk about the reunification day celebrations with cheery enthusiasm. We listen to their excitement to mingle with cadets from other quadrants like we are excited too. Ridoc wonders aloud why King Tauri is celebrating here this year and I wonder the same thing.

Liam gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze before he drops his arm and we walk into the first year dorm. I think he might want to talk so I turn to him and gesture towards my door with a raised eyebrow. When he nods I offer my hand to pull him through the ward.

Liam doesn't speak immediately, but settles on the edge of my desk as I put my books away. He picks up the small wooden figure of Andarna that he made me and turns it over in his hands.

‘Are you sure you are okay?’ I ask.

‘As okay as I can be.’ Liam shrugs.
My heart aches as I watch him study the wooden dragon like he doesn't know every claw and scale.

‘How about you?’ 

‘Me?’ I ask in surprise.

‘Yes, you.’ Liam says with amused exasperation. ‘How are you feeling? Are you worried about seeing your mother for the first time since you learnt the truth?’

‘Oh that.’ I wave my hand dismissively and laugh. ‘It will be fine, it’s not like she’ll want to have a heart to heart chat. You know she hasn’t spoken to me since conscription day?’

‘I’m sorry, that must be hard for you.’ Liam says gently.

My smile falls and suddenly I’m blinking back tears as I spin to face my armoire. ‘It’s nothing new for us. She started practically ignoring my existence after my father died. If she’s spoken to me since then it’s only to criticize or tell me what a disappointment I am.’ I wrench my flight jacket off its hanger and tug it on. ‘To tell me what an embarrassment it would be for her if I became a scribe, how she’d rather I died trying to be a rider.’

I turn back to Liam with the harness bundled in my arms.

‘She didn’t say that to you.’ He states, shocked.

‘Maybe not in so many words, but her meaning was clear.’ I say.

Liam frowns, eyeing the armfull of leather and scales I’m holding.

‘You’re going flying?’ He raises an eyebrow in question.

I nod to confirm Liam’s observation.

‘You didn’t get enough this morning?’ He jokes.

I lift a corner of my mouth in a smile. ‘Andarna and I are working on using my signet in flight.’ I explain.

‘I’ll let you get to it, then.’ Liam puts the small wooden dragon back down on the desk and turns to the door. ‘See you at dinner?’ he asks, glancing back over his shoulder.

‘See you then.’ I agree.

……………….
‘Do you miss your parents?’ I say the words out loud and the air rushing past us steals them from my mouth but Andarna hears them anyway.I sense her quiet sadness in response to the question while she considers her answer. 

We are soaring on an updraft miles away from Basgiath, resting my signet before we try another jump.

‘It is hard to miss someone I never knew.’ Andarna answers thoughtfully. ‘So I can not grieve for them as you grieve for the father who nurtured and raised you.’ This comment is accompanied by a gentle mental nuzzle.

‘For that you have had Sgeayl and Tairn.’

‘I have.’ Andarna agrees, pausing before she continues wistfully, ‘But I do have a feeling of loss, of something missing. I do wish for the sense of kinship that I imagine comes from being raised within your own den, from being around others like you.’

I lower myself so that I am stretched over her and can rest my head against her scales. I feel her sigh and sense of comfort she gains from my presence, same as I get from her.

‘Are you ready to try again?’ Andarna asks gently.

I nod and sit up, adjusting my hold on the harness. Then, feeling Andarna’s power coursing through my body I reach with my signet to the point I’m aiming for.

…………………..

Xaden opens the door of his room that night carrying his dress uniform over one arm and dumps it unceremoniously on the floor next to the foot of the bed. He starts shedding his weapons, swords and daggers, lays them neatly out before him on the desk. He sits at his desk and takes out the things to clean and care for the blades.

I close the book I’m reading and unfold myself from where I have curled up in Xaden’s bed against the pillows. Picking up the discarded pile of fabric I pad silently to the armoire, intending to stow the uniform for him at the far end behind his winter leathers where it will be out of sight.

‘If you want, I can put it in my room.’ I offer, glancing back at the tense line of Xaden’s shoulders.

‘No, it’s alright.’ He answers dispassionately, head still bent to his task.

I hang the uniform, letting my fingers brush over the sash embroidered in careful gold lettering with his surname -Riorson - and tuck it away where I expect it will only be retrieved when this room is assigned to someone else.

I set my hand gently on his shoulder, feeling the muscles of his arm moving underneath. ‘I’m surprised you bothered collecting it at all.’ I say lightly.

‘I had to,’ He sighs. ‘Devara won’t make me attend, but she couldn’t pretend not to notice if I left it in the commons.’

‘I’ll stay with you, we can skip the ball together.’ I offer.

Xaden places the oil-cloth he’s using on the desk and uses his hand to lift mine from his shoulder and bring it to his lips. ‘I can’t ask you to do that.’ he murmurs against my palm.

‘You’re not asking- I’m offering.’ I protest, stepping before him and sliding my hand to cup his cheek. I tip his head up to ask him to look at me, his face is impassive but his eyes are full of vulnerability. ‘We can stay here together and shut the world out. If you want to get drunk you can, or high, we can not talk or not talk. Whatever you need.’

Something in his mask cracks and Xaden puts his dagger aside so he can tug me into the space between his knees.

I let him bury his face into my chest as I stroke his hair and return his embrace. I don’t care if he’s getting sword oil on my nightgown. I'll let him hold me as long as he needs.

‘You have to go.’ Xaden mumbles against my breasts, his fingers clutching at my back as he starts to pull away.

‘No, I don’t.’ I try to hold him close.

‘You do.’ he says calmly. When I look down at him he’s in control again. ‘Tauri’s power to punish me for insubordination is pretty limited- but your mother will expect you to be there.’

‘I don’t care, and I’m surprised you do. I’m not going just to please my mother.’ I frown down at Xaden.

‘Violet.’ He says my name like I’m being stubborn. ‘As far as your mother knows you have no reason to skip the ball, you need to go to keep up appearances. No matter how much I’d rather you didn’t.’

I can see he has a point, and although I don’t like it I agree. ‘I’ll make an appearance. But I’m taking you away from the quadrant, away from all of this -’ I gesture towards the armoire, ‘ for a while beforehand, okay?’

‘I’m not exactly the best company -’ Xaden starts, draggin a hand through his hair.

I cut him. ‘I’m not asking for your company! Xaden, I want to look after you because I love you.’ 

He blinks up at me in surprise and doesn't speak for a moment. ‘I’m not used to people looking after me.’ He finally admits.

‘I know.’ I say gently, taking his face between my hands, ‘You think you have to be strong for everyone, always. But you don’t.’ I stroke his cheek with my thumb and press a kiss to his forehead. ‘Especially not with me.’

Xaden sighs and leans forward until his head is resting against my shoulder and all of the fight drops out of his posture. ‘Alright.’

…………………………….

After class on the first of July I wait for Xaden at the bottom on the stairs to the flight field. 

I push myself off the stone the steps are cut into when I hear footsteps in the tunnel. There is more than one pair of feet though, so I am surprised when it is Xaden who emerges. Not far behind are Bodhi and Garrick trailing after.

I pick up the pack at my feet and lift an eyebrow curiously. ‘We have company?’

‘They are just leaving.’ Xaden says with irritation before turning back to his friends. ‘See? I really am meeting Violet. Satisfied?’ He doesn't wait for an answer. He turns back and wordlessly takes the pack from my hands and slips it over his shoulder. 

I give Bodhi and Garrick a small wave and take Xaden’s hand so I can wield us away.

The clearing I chose is a short way into the forest. Not as far away as the clearing Carr made me go to for my first wielding lessons but far enough away that we can’t see the turrets of Basgiath. 

Taking the pack back from Xaden I get out a blanket and spread it on the grass in the shade. 

He watches me with a dark mood as I settle down, patting the space beside me. He crosses and sits beside me with his arms resting on his knees. ‘What happens now, Violence?’

‘That’s up to you. We can eat, I have food.’ I offer, gesturing to the pack which contains a hearty picnic.

‘I’m not hungry.’

‘That’s alright. We can talk. Either about something else if you want or what you are feeling. Or if you want we can just sit here.’ I take Xadens hand from where it rests on his other forearm and hold it between mine. ‘Just know I’m here for you, whatever you need.’

Xaden slowly extracts his hand from mine and I brace myself for him to pull away. But he doesn't. He shifts away at first, but only so that when he lowers himself to the rug he’s lying with his head on my lap. He closes his eyes as I card my fingers through his hair.

‘I just want to be with you.’ Xaden says.

We stay like that for a little while, Then I lie back too and look up at the leaves and sky above me. I watch the afternoon slowly turn into evening. I begin to think we will just stay like this until I have to leave.

‘When he left-’ Xaden starts, his voice thick with emotion.

I move my hand again in his hair when he doesn't keep speaking. I silently will him to keep going.

When he does, His voice is hoarse and rough like he has been screaming. ‘The last time we spoke, we fought.’

I lean up on one arm so I can see him easily. He lays with his face turned towards the sky and his eyes are fixed looking up in the deepening blue. ‘What about?’ I ask softly, prodding him to continue.

‘I wanted to go with him. To fight with him at his side and he made me stay behind.’

‘I see.’ I say, careful not to colour my tone with pity.

‘I understood why,’ Xaden turns and looks at me, his eyes fierce and his face full of pain. ‘Even at the time, I understood. But I resented it. I was angry at him when he said goodbye and I can never change that.’

‘I am so sorry.’ I say with heartfelt grief for the young man in my lap. ‘But he loved you Xaden, he would forgive you and would want you to forgive yourself.’

Xaden buries his face against my stomach and wraps an arm around my waist. If he cries it’s silent and his shoulders are still.

I lie back again and I keep both my hands on him, one on his hair and one on his shoulder so he knows I’m here and how loved he is. I do nothing to stop the tears that run down my own face onto the blanket.

Chapter Text

‘I’ll just make an appearance and then leave.’ I promise.

‘I’ll be alright.’ Xaden insists.

We sit side-by side on his bed, his hand clasped in mine. The pack of uneaten food at our feet.

With my other hand I cup Xaden’s face and peck his cheek. A soft smile comes to his lips despite the signs of exhaustion on his face, that tender smile that is just for me.

‘You are going to be late, Violence.’

Standing, I wield back to my room and there the clock on my desk lets me know I am indeed in danger of being late. I quickly duck to the bathroom to wash my face before hurrying back to change. I’m pulling my dress uniform out of the armoire when there is a knock at my door. 

‘Violet? Are you in there?’ Rhiannon’s voice calls through the wood.

She and Quinn both look lovely when I open the door. Quinn has her short blonde curls slicked into elegant waves that frame her face while Rhi’s hair is freed from her usual braids and it forms a soft halo. Rhi has dusted her cheeks with golden blush and Quinn’s lips are painted a glossy bright red. They both look stunning.

‘You aren’t ready!’ Quinn exclaims in dismay, taking in my appearance.

‘I was just going to change.’ I gesture to the uniform layed on my bed as I pull Rhi through the ward and offer my hand to Quinn.

‘You are cutting it close, Sorrengail!’ Quinn admonishes.

With the door closed I quickly start shrugging out of my regular uniform so I can slip on the high-necked top and the skirt I selected.

‘Violet, you have leaves in your hair.’ Rhiannon notes with amusement.

With my skirt farsened I lift my hand to the back of my head and I find it’s true. I pull my hand away with a leaf and a twig and wince. I don’t have time to do anything elaborate with my hair now and I had kind of planned on keeping it up in my usual braid.

‘What have you been up to?’ Quinn asks with a knowing tone.

I don’t really have the energy to begin to explain how wrong her assumption is. I get to work pulling out pins and unwinding my braid. When I use my fingers to brush any remaining leaves away my hair at least falls smoothly over my shoulders in a gentle wave from having been braided up all day.

‘Oh well, this will have to do.’ I shrug, turning back to my friends for their approval

‘You look beautiful, Violet.’ Rhiannon assures me.

‘It’s certainly a strong statement. Stunning, but still.’ Quinn says, eyeing the silver strands. ‘Having long hair is one thing, wearing it out…’

As I look in the mirror I admit Quinn has a point. It’s uncommon for Riders to keep their hair long and wearing it out is a declaration that I’m not afraid of anyone using it against me. I toss my hair over my shoulder and think about how Xaden said he loves it and how my mother urged me to cut it.

I'm glad to be wearing it out.

‘I’m ready.’ I say, slipping my feet into my dress shoes and grabbing my sash.

We make it out of the door in time to walk with Sawyer and Ridoc and I’m surprised to find Liam waiting with them too.

‘I thought you’d be staying behind.’ I whisper to him as I take his offered arm.

Liam grins down at me. ‘And leave you to face your mother alone?’

‘You are a sweetheart, Liam Mairi.’ I say, touched by his generosity.

‘I know.’ Liam grins. ‘I am pretty wonderful. And you’ll be sure to mention that to all your cute scribe friends right?’

I laugh as we follow our friends towards the main campus.

We cross into the healer’s quadrant and take the stairs down to the large central courtyard where banners and strings of lights have been strung to create a space like a grand ballroom. 

It’s almost overwhelming, the number of people present and most of them not in black. I hadn’t realised how used to that I had become. We are definitely outnumbered here amongst the cream and blue.

Above all of the assembled crowd I see my mother standing on a balcony beside the king and looking down on us. Her eyes meet mine, like she was drawn to me when I walked in, but rather than smile or wave she frowns slightly and looks away.
I suck my breath in and set my shoulders, determined not to let it bother me.

Our friends scatter but Liam and I walk together, weaving our way arm in arm through the crowd. We pass close by a large group of infantry officers and one of them casts a shocked look at Liam’s wrist. I level him a frosty glare as he gasps and steps away from us, speaking in a hushed tone to the officer beside him.

‘We can go, we should go.’ I say to Liam at my side. ‘My mother’s seen me - surely that’s enough of an appearance.’ I gesture vaguely back over my shoulder to the balcony where my Mom was standing when we walked in.

‘I’m alright, Vi.’ Liam says in a low voice.

‘Violet, Violet Sorrengail? Is that you?’

I look forward in surprise and find a young man in the uniform of an Infantry officer has stepped away from the group to address me. For half a second I can't place him. He's older than I remember him and he's grown a beard since I last saw him, but those green eyes are so similar to his brother’s.

‘Halden?’ I ask in surprise, then remembering myself drop into a curtsy. ‘I mean, your Highness.’

Beside me Liam follows my lead and bows when I drop his arm.

Halden laughs good naturedly. ‘Surely there is no need for titles between old friends. Didn't we once climb trees together when we were children?’ 

‘Forgive me for correcting you, you highness, but as I recall I climbed trees with Prince Cam, not yourself.’ In truth Halden had mostly ignored me when we were younger. At the time that we had been in proximity, when my family had lived in Calldyr, the five year age difference between us had seemed very vast. But despite this I find myself returning his smile, and not just out of politeness.

Halden waves a hand dismissively at my correction. ‘Old friend, brother of an old friend, it’s all the same. Will you introduce me to your companion?’

I steel myself and introduce Liam and to Halden’s credit he doesn't flinch at the name, nor does his smile fall. Instead he extends his hand for Liam to shake.

Liam’s face twitches like he wants to raise his eyebrows in surprise at Halden’s offered hand but he does accept it.

Before we can back away, and let Halden make his escape from what surely must now be an uncomfortable situation for him, I see him fix on something over my shoulder and his posture changes.

‘Incoming, look sharp.’ Halden says in an undertone as he stands to attention.

I feel Liam stiffen at my side as I spin and find myself pinned by the eagle eye of Lilith Sorrengail and the blinding toothy smile of King Tauri. We are undoubtedly their target as the crowd parts around them and I see General Melgren is at Tauri’s other side.

‘You can go.’ I hiss at Liam.

‘And abandon you when you need me most?’ He whispers back, firmly taking my arm and tucking it into his elbow again.

There is a chance they are just coming this way to speak to Halden and my presence here is an unfortunate coincidence. I cling to this hope as Liam and I both bend forward to bow to the king. I see Halden out of the corner of my eye step forward and give a much shallower and crisper bow to his father. 

‘So this is where you got to.’ Tauri says to Halden. ‘You’ve found just the Rider I was hoping to speak to.’ His eyes land on me and I reluctantly give up any hope of an easy escape.

‘Are you enjoying yourself, your highness?’ My mother asks Halden.

‘I am, thank you, general. I’ve been reconnecting with old friends.’ Halden smiles my way.

‘Violet, Your mother has been telling me you have manifested a remarkably rare gift, one that hasn’t been seen in centuries.’ King Tauri continues.

‘I - ah. I suppose I have,’ I say smiling awkwardly. ‘At least I believe another distance wielder hasn’t been recorded in over four hundred years.’ Not a lie.

‘You are far too modest, daughter.’ My mother insists, ‘Her abilities are unlike anything anyone has ever seen before. And according to her instructors she’s become quite formidable with her signet.’

I fight to hold my polite smile. It stings that my mother only has a kind word to say about me when it benefits her standing before the king.

‘Indeed,’ Melgran fixes his eyes on me. ‘Even if her dragon is unusually small.’ Thinly veiled disdain drips from his tone.

I stiffen and Liam places his hand over mine and squeezes my fingers. ‘Violet’s ability is remarkable. And I'm not just saying that because she used it to save my life. She won us the squad battle and at least one battle game with it.’

Liam keeps his tone mild and respectful, but despite this Melgran swings his gaze to him and the older man's eyes narrow. No doubt he knows who Liam is without reading the name on his sash.

‘They're squadmates.’ My mother says in explanation. Like an explanation is needed for my failure in letting a Rider fall to their death. 

‘She saved your life? That sounds like a thrilling story. I for one would like to hear it.’ Halden says, diplomatic smile in place. 

‘Mairi.’ King Tauri says flatly, his eyes on Liam’s shoulder. ‘As in Cornal Mairi’s son?’

‘Yes Sir, although I was mostly brought up by Duke Lindell at Tirvainne.’ Liam maintains his calm and even tone. Only a tightening of his jaw shows his discomfort.

I stand tensely at Liam’s side, holding on to his arm in support, while Tauri makes a pointed remark about Lindell and his loyalty.

‘Where is the Riorson boy?’ Melgran asks Liam, looking around the room in boredom. ‘I like to lay eyes on him once a year to make sure he’s not getting into any trouble.’

I all but bite my tongue to stop myself speaking in Xaden’s defence.

‘I asked that they be here, that they all be here.’ Tauri frowns unhappily.

The tension between our group is so thick I could slice it with a dagger.

‘But I just saw him.’ I say with a puzzled smile, unable to help myself. ‘Just a moment ago. He’s probably lurking in a shadowy corner somewear.’ I don’t let my expression fall, even as everyone focuses on me. That may have been exactly the wrong thing to say judging by the way my mother’s smile thins to a line.

‘This is meant to be a celebration isn’t it?’ Says Halden suddenly, his face brightening. He turns to me and holds out his hand. ‘Not nearly enough people are dancing. Violet, shall we show them how it’s done? If you don’t object, Mairi.’

I stare at him in shock for a moment and I’m not the only one. Or maybe his father’s expression is better described as displeasure than shock. I register Liam squeezing my hand before dropping it and taking a step back, leaving me alone at the prince’s side. I have little choice but to give my hand to Halden and let him lead me onto the dance floor.

But it is a relief to walk away, as bad as I feel for Liam left behind. When Halden guides us to a stop on the dance floor and I turn to face him I peek around his shoulder and see with relief that Liam is standing on his own now, watching me. The king and the two generals have moved on.

‘You looked like you needed rescuing.’ Halden grins as he takes my waist and starts to lead me in a waltz.

‘Thank you, the escape was welcome. But you don’t have to dance with me now if you don’t want to.’ I tell him, returning his smile shyly.

‘No, I want to.’ That laughing smile is still on his face as he looks down at me.

I drop my eyes from his face and look around us as we follow the line of the dance. There aren’t many couples on the floor, dancing not really being a part of the Basgiath curriculum, and I notice with discomfort we are attracting a lot of attention. That attention includes the king, who keeps glancing our way unhappily as he follows my mother and Melgran.

‘Are you doing this just to annoy your father?’ I ask.

‘No, I wanted to speak with you.’ Halden says in a low tone that takes me by surprise with it’s intimacy.

‘About what?’ I breathe, turning back to gaze up at Halden.

‘About Cam.’ Halden mummers, leading me in a spin under his arm.

Cam, The youngest and quietest of the princes. It’s been as long since I last saw him, but I do remember him fondly. 

‘How is he? Is he here?’ My eyes scan the faces in the room.

‘No, though I hope you will see him soon.’ Halden says quietly. ‘In a matter of days.’

‘Is he coming to Basgiath?’ I ask in surprise. I thought the king had something different planned for his youngest son, the role of a politician or diplomat. Perhaps that changed when Alic died. ‘You know, don’t you, we don’t mix much with other quadrants.’

‘I know.’ Halden says significantly and there is a look in his eye, something hidden and assessing.

I almost miss a step of the dance. My eyes seek out the king again. ‘Does your father know?’

‘No.’ Halden says softly. ‘He wouldn’t approve.’

I open my mouth to say something but I’m at a loss for words.

‘I was hoping you would do me a favor Violet. Would you keep an eye on him for me?’ 

‘Of course.’ I answer immediately.

Halden smiles in response and it’s softer and more genuine than his other expressions. ‘I’ll feel better knowing he has a friend close by, someone to look out for him. And rumour has it you've made quite an impression in the quadrant, you can show him the ropes.’

‘But why?’ I ask, frowning up at Halden. ‘Why is he doing it and why are you helping him?’

‘I can’t tell you that.’ Halden says stiffly, looking over my head.

My confusion deepens. I puzzle over it as we make another turn around the floor and wonder if it’s possible…

‘Your boyfriend looks very jealous.’ Halden notes with amusement, pulling me out of my thoughts.

‘My boyfriend?’ I ask in confusion.

‘Mairi.’ Halden lifts an eyebrow incredulously.

‘Oh,’ I laugh. ‘No. It’s not like that. Liam and I are just friends.’

‘Are you sure?’ Halden asks me, looking back over my head towards Liam. ‘He hasn’t taken his eyes off us.’

‘I’m sure. He’s just protective of me.’

‘Because he owes you his life.’ Halden notes.

I shake my head. ‘Because we are friends. More than that, we are squadmates and that’s like family in the Quadrant.’

‘Hmm.’ Halden acknowledges my words but sounds distracted. ‘That’s funny, when you mentioned seeing Riroson before I could have sworn you were lying.’

‘What?’ My head whips around to follow Halden’s gaze, certain he’s mistaken. But there he is, standing beside Liam and wearing that dress uniform in a way that puts every other man here to shame. Xaden watches me with his perfectly impassive, unreadable, wingleader face.
The progression of the dance means I soon have to drop his gaze and Halden’s body moves between us.

‘Are you alright?’ Halden mummers, dropping his head close to mine.

‘I’m fine.’ I manage. Though in truth I feel a little light headed and my heart is pounding in my chest.

‘This is interesting.’ Halden notes in a low tone. ‘You thought you were lying, didn’t you? You didn’t think he was here.’

I bite my lip and don’t speak. When the song ends I step away from Halden as quickly as politeness allows.

‘Thank you.’ I say and bob a small curtsy.

‘Would I be pushing my luck too far if I asked for another?’ Amusement curls the corner of Halden’s mouth.

‘Yes.’ I say bluntly and flee, leaving Halden laughing behind me.

I don’t walk to Xaden and Liam but I make eye contact as I walk with forced calm to the side of the courtyard. While I’m watching him I see Xaden’s eyes slip off me and he raises a glass in his hand in a mocking salute to someone behind me. I don’t turn to see who, instead fleeing towards a staircase that leads away to the administration building.

My heart hammers in my chest as I press my back to the wall part way up the twisting stairs and wait for Xaden to follow me. I know that he will. It’s not long before I hear his boots on the stone.

He appears with his face like a thunder cloud and his eyes flash with an anger that almost makes me scared.

‘What are -’ I start but he cuts me off as he reaches the step below mine and claims my mouth in a fierce kiss.

I melt into it, my words forgotten.

One of Xaden’s hands goes to my lower back and his fingers splay possessively, pulling me to him till our bodies are flush. The other tangles in my loose hair, cupping the back of my neck. He plunders my mouth, stealing my breath and my thoughts until all my senses are full of him. My knees are weak and he’s all that's holding me up.

‘Mine.’ He whispers fiercely, breaking the kiss to drag his lips across my jaw. ‘My woman, my love.’

‘Yours.’ I whimper as he attacks the spot below my ear. ‘Are you- mad?’ I manage to get the words out in pants

‘Not with you.’ Xaden growls. He drops both his hands to my ass and lifts me, turning to pin my body against the curving outer wall of the stair.

My skirt falls open at the slit and cool air caresses my skin as I wrap my legs around his hips.

Xaden braces himself with a hand beside my head as he kisses his way back up to my mouth, the other slides along to the exposed skin of my thigh and Xaden moans into my mouth and his fingers skim along it.

‘Get your hands off her!’

My eyes fly open in surprise and I snack my head on the wall as I pull back.

Hallden is standing a few steps below us, his hand raised in our direction but restrained by a sliver of twisting darkness. Conscious of how exposed I am, I clutch for the edge of my skirt to try and pull it over my leg. But when I glance down I see my skin is already covered in a blanket of shadow.

‘You forget, Tauri,’ Xaden says in a calm tone, his head still hovering close to mine. ‘She’s a distance wielder. I couldn’t keep her in my arms if it wasn’t exactly where she wanted to be.’ 

The anger on Halden’s face turns to shock. ‘Violet, is this true?’

Xaden chuckles darkly as he brushes my hair behind my ear, not bothering to glance back at Halden. ‘You didn’t really think she came up here hoping you’d follow her, did you?’ His eyes shine with satisfaction as they meet mine.

Halden doesn’t speak, he looks to me for an explanation for this situation but I’m far too preoccupied to offer one.

My hands are starting to shake with anger where they rest on Xaden’s shoulders. His small smug smile falls as he takes in my expression.

With no thought at all for the prince beside us I reach with my signet to transport Xaden and myself across the campus to his room.

Xaden staggers forward in an attempt to catch us both as the wall suddenly disappears. But I leave him suddenly holding nothing in his arms as I wield to my own feet behind him.

‘You let him find us.’ I say, hurt in my tone as Xaden finds his bearings and turns to face me. ‘You knew he was coming up the stairs and you didn’t warn me, you let him walk in on us.’

‘Why do you say that?’ Xaden asks cautiously, his face guarded when he faces me.

‘Are you telling me you weren't monitoring the shadows on those stairs? With Tauri, Melgran and a hundred other people who would be happy to see you dead down below?’

I take Xaden’s silence as all the answer I need. ‘You let him walk in on us!’ I jab my finger at Xaden’s chest. ‘In some kind of petty display! Because what, you were jealous?’

‘Yes!’ Xaden’s eyes flash in anger and his impassive mask drops. ‘I was jealous. I had to watch the crown prince put his hands on the woman I love! I had to watch him enjoy touching you, holding you close, bending his head to whisper to you while thinking filthy things about you. And I couldn’t do anything to stop it!’

‘You completely miss-read what was happening on that dance floor.’ I scoff.

 Xaden’s jaw clenches with pain. ‘I didn’t.’ He says stiffly. ‘If you knew the things that were going through his mind-’

I gape, open mouthed at Xaden as his mouth snaps shut and his eyes widen with something like panic.

‘But you don’t either.’ I say slowly. ‘You can’t know what he was thinking, Xaden?’

We both stand still for a moment as my words hang in the air around us. I search his face for some sign I’m wrong, some denial of the implication or flicker of confusion in his eyes. But the only emotion I read is fear.

Chapter Text

‘You have a second signet, don’t you?’ Violet whispered.

Xaden froze under Violet’s searching gaze. He wasn’t sure what she was hoping to find in his expression; confirmation or denial of what she’d asked. He wasn’t sure what to tell her.

‘Violet,’ He pleaded and took a step forwards, lifting a hand towards her face. He thought maybe if he could just hold her, feel the comfort of her body against his, express his love for her in the way he had always found easies; this might all be okay. He might be able to find the words to save this.

Violet’s expressive hazel eyes clouded with uncertainty as he lifted his hand and she took a step back out of his reach.

That look of distrust was like a physical blow, hitting him right in the chest.

‘Fuck,’ He swore, turning away from her and covering his face with his hands. He’d ruined it. For a few perfect weeks he’d had her heart and now he’d fucked it up. All because he couldn’t control his jealousy. He’d revealed himself for what he was, despite Sgeayl’s warnings Violet would never accept him if she knew. Well she knew now. Knew his darkest secret. Knew he didn’t really deserve her love. 

And now, if he was lucky, she’d go and tell Carr who’d put him out of his mystery quickly. He’d rather die than have Violet hate him. Or worse, grow indifferent to him all together.

‘Do not think like that.’ Sgeayl growled angrily. Xaden strengthened his shields.

Would Violet tell the others what had happened? Would she tell Garrick, Bodhi, Imogen and Liam what he was, would they hate him too when they knew?

It seemed somehow fitting that it was on this fucking day that he’d lose everything all over again. He’d already been on-edge, feeling wrung out and exposed from letting his guard down and talking with Violet about his father. Now he was going to lose her too, just when he’d really let her in.

Xaden couldn’t stop the sob that came up from his chest as he fell to his knees. What did it matter if Violet saw him cry now? Completely falling apart in front of her couldn’t make this worse. He felt the tears stinging in his eyes and blinked them away as he waited for the sound of Violet’s feet crossing the room, of the door opening.

The sound didn’t come. Maybe she’d simply wielded away.

‘Xaden,’ Gentle fingers found their way to his hair and he stiffed under the touch. Those fingers then trailed to his wrists where they tugged his hands away from his face. He couldn’t deny her so he let her do it but he couldn’t bring himself to look at her face. He couldn’t bear to see her disgust or fear when he had grown used to her love.

‘Just go.’ He said, hating how his voice sounded choked and unsteady. ‘You don’t need to say it, I saw it in your face.’

He heard her small intake of breath and then her fingers tightened on his wrists. ‘Look at me, Xaden.’ Violet asked softly, her voice tender and gentle like she was talking to a small, frightened child. 

Xaden stopped breathing. He thought his heart might have stopped, then it was racing twice as fast as he lifted his eyes to hers though he hardly dared to hope.

‘I love you.’ Violet’s face wasn’t angry or scared, though it was full of concern, her eyes shone blue with as much love as he’d ever seen there. ‘I still I love you, see for yourself that it’s true if you need to.’ She kneeled before him on the stone floor and lifted one of his hands to her face, holding it for him against her cheek.

He gaped at her, she was offering to let him inside her head. She’d do it willingly to give him comfort. That wasn't how it worked for him - in more ways than one - but the offer was evidence enough for him.

He stroked his fingers against her cheek and pulled her close, into his chest. He knew he was probably holding her too tight, but he’d thought he was losing her a moment ago and was still adjusting to the thought that he wasn’t. ‘Thank you, that’s not how it works but thank you all the same.’

‘Of course not.’ she muttered, as much to herself as to him. ‘You read Halden from across the room.’

They stayed there while, bit by bit, Xaden began to loosen his hold until it was a comfortable embrace. ‘I love you, Violet.’

‘I love you too. I am upset and angry that you kept this from me.’ Violet said cautiously, her words muffled by the fabric of his stupid dress uniform.

‘That’s alright,’ Xaden told her. ‘Angry and upset is okay. I’ll spend my whole life trying to make it up to you if you’ll let me.’

‘I’ll let you.’ Violet said, ‘But can we get off the floor? It’s hurting my knees.’

He stood, pulling Violet with him and holding her close.

She stepped away slowly, taking his hands to lead him to the bed. She sat and scooted back, patting the mattress beside her.

He was exhausted, this day had seemed endless, so Xaden lay down across the bed and gently tugged her down with him. Violet came willingly, curling against him. He sighed in contentment as she settled with her head on his chest and enjoyed it for a moment, having her where she belonged. He knew she was waiting for him to start talking, start explaining, but he gave himself a moment of calm to collect his thoughts while his shadows checked there was no movement in the corridor and he stopped shielding Sgeayl out.

His dragon had been pacing and anger and worry came in a flood down the bond. ‘You are alright.’ Sgeayl said with relief.

‘I am alright.’ Xaden agreed. ‘It’s going to be alright. She still loves me.’

He felt Sgeayl’s reservations about that statement but he knew she would never admit to having been wrong. ‘I am glad for you.’ She admitted then she shocked him utterly when she added. ‘I underestimated the girl, it would seem.’

Sgeayl pulled back from the bond slightly and Xaden became more conscious of the woman in his arms. 

Violet had propped herself up slightly and was watching his face. She gave him a little smile as he focused on her.

Xaden lifted a hand to stroke the hair out of her face and took a deep breath. ‘I’m a type of inntinnsic.’ He began, swallowing around a tightness in his throat that rose with finally saying that word out loud. He’d wanted to do this - wanted to tell her- but the words were harder than he’d expected. Violet watched him with that same gentle patience she’d had that afternoon. He’d thought then she could probably pry secrets from the dead with that look. ‘I can read people's intentions. Sometimes it's images and sometimes it’s just an impression, some people visualise their intentions more clearly. I don’t think it’s thoughts exactly, and it’s certainly not feelings or memories.’

‘Intentions?’ Violet repeats, puzzled ’Can you give an example?’ 

‘All right. Umm, if Devera’s shields slip in Battle Brief I can’t read the individual thoughts in her head but I get an impression of what she’s trying to do. What she wants the class to learn or who she wants to encourage to take initiative.’

Violet frowned thoughtfully. ‘So when you read Halden…’

Xaden clenched his jaw. ‘I saw his hope that you will look after his brother, but also his plan to get you in his bed. How graphic do you want me to be?’ He asked bitterly. ‘His intentions were very vivid.’

Violet shuddered slightly like there was a chill. ‘I don’t want to hear any of it.’ she admitted with a tone of disgust. She turned her head up and looked at him thoughtfully.

Xaden braced for the question he knew she would ask next.

‘And when you read me?’

‘I don’t read you.’ Xaden said vehemently.

‘Never?’ Violet lifted her eyebrows incredulously.

‘I did read you,’ He closed his eyes regretfully so he didn't have to see her response to this. ‘When I caught you under the tree, a few times after and that night you were attacked. I wanted to make sure it wasn’t some kind to trap, telling me Mavis had let the unbonded into your room. So I read your intentions and didn’t feel bad about it. But then when Aetos made you give him your memories and you credited me with being better than him, with believing your word without proof… well I realised I wasn't any better. But I wanted to be.’ He opened his eyes to look down at her, so she would know he was telling the truth. ‘I wanted to be who you thought I was.’

‘So you didn’t use your signet to say exactly what I wanted to hear that night I found out about the Venin?’ Violet asked reluctantly, voicing the concern that - if he judged her expression correctly - had been nagging at her.

He shook his head. ‘I didn’t. I swear to you, Violet. I had stopped reading you on purpose by the time we became involved.’

She was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful, but she nodded slowly. ‘On purpose?’ Violet questioned, latching on to that one word.

Xaden shrugged. ‘Sometimes you didn't shield at meals. You would be surprised how many people go over their plans to attack someone during meals here. I’ve gotten into the habit of skimming the intentions of the room, looking for the faces of my friends or myself. It’s given me warning of an attack on a marked one more than once.’

‘So you accidentally read me?’ Violet prompted him to clarify.

‘Yes,’ Xaden couldn’t help the upturn of his lips at the memory. ‘Usually because you were focused on your plan to rip my clothes off the second I walked in your room, or how you wanted to ride my cock, or what you wanted me to do to you with my tongue.’

Violet flushed a delicious pink, it crept up the creamy skin of her neck to her cheeks. She hid her face against his chest and Xaden chuckled. 

‘Don’t be embarrassed, Vi. Does it help if I tell you I’ve never needed my signet to know you are attracted to me?’ Xaden admitted. ‘The way your eyes would dilate and your breathing would catch whenever you had me pinned kind of gave it away.’

Violet let out a squeak of protest but didn’t raise her face.

Xaden chuckled and rubbed circles on her back. ‘All your filthiest thoughts about me are safe now. Tucked away in your head for only you to know unless you share them.’ He reassured her.

That made her look up in surprise. ‘You mean?’ Her fingers touched the place on her uniform over the pendant she wore.

‘Of course.’ Xaden said, then he frowned at her surprise. ‘Did you think I built an exception for myself into the rune?’ 

‘I don’t know what I thought.’ Violet admitted, giving him an assessing look. ‘But I guess I believe you.’

‘Because Liam helped me make the rune?’ Xaden guessed.

'No.' Violet smiled softly at him. ‘Because of that night in the snow.’

That didn’t make sense to Xaden as an explanation and he watched Violet’s smile grow as he tried to figure it out.

‘I believe you chose to stop reading me because I could never have taken you by surprise with that snowball otherwise.’ Violet explained.

He felt his lips twist into a smile to match hers. ‘No, you wouldn’t have.’

She rolled her eyes and huffed at him, pretending to be annoyed by his arrogance and it made his smile wider. 

He was so glad not to have lost this. ‘Are we okay?’ Xaden asked, seeking reassurance that this wasn’t about to all fall apart.

Violet smiled and shook her head. ‘No, we are so much better than that.’ She lifted herself up and found his lips with hers.

He sighed into the kiss and let his lips move in at a languid pace with hers, savoring the feel and the taste of her. There was little heat to it and Xaden was happy to let love and desire simmer between them. For once he felt a greater need for the comfort of having her close than anything else.

When the kiss ended Violet pressed her forehead to his, catching her breath. They stayed like that until light flashed through the open curtains accompanied by the boom of fireworks. The reality of the rest of the world outside their arms breaking in and destroying the bubble of calm they had.

‘We should go to sleep.’ Violet said softly to him, stroking his cheek and looking at the signs of exhaustion and grief on his face. ‘When you wake up, it will be tomorrow.’

He did as she suggested, practicing letting himself be taken care of as Violet undressed him and positioned him to lie with his head on her chest. He listened to her heart beating and enjoyed the soothing touch of her fingers in his hair.

He loved this woman, heart and soul and he marveled at how unbelievably lucky he was that she loved him too. That she loved him still, accepted him, even knowing what she now did.

Xaden hoped she understood what she was to him. He’d told her he loved her and although those three simple words had started to feel insufficient to express the enormity of what he felt, he didn’t know how else to say it or show it.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. He did have one idea.

‘Xaden?’

He answered her by murmuring into the shirt she’d borrowed from him, letting her know he wasn’t yet asleep.

‘Why did you come to the ball?’ Violet asked with gentle curiosity.

‘I missed you.’ He admitted. ‘I wanted to be where you were. I thought maybe I could be there for you like you were there for me.’

Violet pressed a kiss to his head and Xaden sighed in contentment as he let himself be soothed to sleep.

Chapter Text

A pounding on the door woke us up. Judging by the lack of light coming in around the curtains in Xaden’s room it was still early.

‘Fuck off!’ Xaden yells at the door, before rolling back to me and wrapping his arm around me.

I lie still against his chest, waiting to see if whoever it is follows instructions.

The knocking starts again and this time Garrick shouts through the door. ‘Xaden! Are you in there?’

‘Fucking sound shield.’ He mutters as he slips out of bed and stomps to the door. ‘What?’ His tone is caustic.

Garrick is apparently unaffected by his friend’s greeting and I understand why when I hear him tell Xaden the wards all along the border have fallen and we are being called to an urgent, mandatory formation. 

When the door closes I'm scrambling to pull on the dress uniform I left thrown over the chair beside the bed. My first thought is for Mira and I pray that she’s safe. But then a second thought strikes me and I look up in shock, My gaze collides with Xaden’s across the room as he buttons his flight leathers.

‘If the wards are down, do you think it could be…?’ My voice drops to a whisper but I still don’t say the word Venin. I’m not sure if I’m worried about being overheard or if I’m afraid to summon them by saying the name.

Xaden grimaces. ‘I don’t know. It could be. If they are not behind it I’m certain they'll take advantage.’

Fuck. I pray again that Mira is safe. From what I understand Venin usually avoid attacking outposts. By Dunne I hope that’s still true.

I tug my vest over my head and pull the laces tight with grim efficiency. I’m not sure I’ll bother with the dress uniform top, sleeveless as it is, it won’t be of much benefit against the cold night air.

‘It's going to be alright.’ Xaden says as he approaches me with a second flight jacket in one hand and a dagger in the other. ‘I don’t expect you to see combat, but just in case I want you properly armed.’ He hands me the dagger.

I frown as I reach for it. He replaced the dagger I lost facing Second Wing when we came back from Aretia. But I understand what he’s giving me when I wrap my hand around the hilt and feel the buzz of imbued alloy. The only sheaths I have are at my ribs so that’s where I stash it.

‘If the wards have fallen,’ Xaden continues, jaw clenched, ‘they'll send the senior years to man the midland posts to provide reinforcements.’

Realisation settles like a lead weight in my stomach. ‘We are supposed to have nine more days.’ I whisper.

It's the wrong thing to be thinking about, if the kingdom is under threat from mythical beings, but I can’t help being selfishly upset. I don't know when I'll see him again.

Xaden’s face softens and he wraps his flight jacket around my shoulders. I slip my arms in the sleeves and he buttons it for me, standing close enough his breath tickles the hairs on my forehead. ‘I love you. No matter what, no matter where I am; I'm yours. You know that, don't you?’

I nod and Xaden gives me a searching look, his eyes a little wild.

‘I know.’ I assure him. ‘I love you too.’

He cups the back of my neck and angles my head to kiss me. It’s a deep, toe-curling kiss that has me wishing foolishly that we could fall back into bed together rather than head out to the courtyard. When he pulls back I whimper at the loss of contact.

I open my eyes to see him looking down at me intently and his whole body is almost vibrating with energy under my hands.

Xaden takes a deep breath, ‘Violet-’

A pounding on the door beside us makes us both jump. ‘Come on, Riorson!’ Garrick yells.

A growl of frustration escapes Xaden as he runs a hand through his hair.

‘We should go.’ I whisper.

He nods at me and wordlessly takes my hand in his to lead me out the door.

There are a hundred reasons I shouldn’t be leaving my Wingleaders room via the door, especially early in the morning and holding his hand. Luckily for us in the chaos around us only Garrick notices and rolls his eyes at us.

We hurry down to the courtyard level and Xaden squeezes my fingers as he drops my hand and we part. I go to my squad who are waiting in position. 
………………….

Xaden forced himself to turn away from Violet as she moved towards her squad. He schooled his face into the careful look of bored indifference that he wore as a habit and walked at Garricks side. But as he reached the front of formation he couldn’t shake the urge to look back at her.

Violet was where she should be. He watched as her friend Matthias reached out to arrange her loose hair over her left shoulder in order to hide his wingleader emblem and the three stars on the collar. Maybe it had been reckless to give her the jacket, but it was done and he couldn’t undo it now.

His thoughts returned to that moment in his room. When he’d put that jacket around her and of the words he’d almost said. 

An elbow in his side jolted out of his thoughts. Garrick, the owner of the elbow, nodded his head towards the side of the dais where the other Wingleaders were gathering with Panchek.

Xaden crossed the distance quickly and was in time to hear Nyra’s question: ‘Do we know what the situation is, Sir? How far have the enemy gotten?’

He kept his eyes on the other Wingleader as Pancheck prepared to answer, trying to read her reaction to the words of their commandant. As a truthsayer her signet worked on the response of the human body and so unlike him she couldn't be blocked by Panchek’s shields.

‘Everything will be made clear soon.’ Panchek sighed. Like he was tired or war, or maybe he was just reluctant to be awake this early.

Either way his words were an attempt to avoid giving an answer and a weak one at that.

Nyra’s frown deepened. ‘Have the wards really fallen, Sir?’

Panchek seemed to hesitate for a moment then gave in. ‘No.’ he admitted. ‘It’s part of the scenario colonel Aetos has devised.’

Fucking War Games.

Xaden almost laughed but he managed to make it look like a cough into his fist. They had dragged him out of bed at four in the morning for fucking War Games. He listened as Panchek gave a brief overview of what was about to happen and he was first annoyed to learn they would be leaving the college for five days, but then relieved to hear the Wingleaders would get to form their own squads.

When they were dismissed he walked back to the head of Fourth Wing and he almost smiled. There was no-way in hell he was spending the next five days apart from Violet.

…………….

‘Violet, can I talk to you for a moment?’ Dain pulls me aside at the end of formation.

The atmosphere in the courtyard has turned from dower to jubilant, the cadets are buzzing at what they see as a chance to escape the quadrant for five days and ‘play war’. I shake my head at my squadmates who are laughing and joking and follow Dain to the side where we are out of the way.

‘What’s up?’ I ask him, hoping my hair is still covering my shoulder and praying to Zihnal he doesn't notice how big the jacket is on me.

‘We are heading to the South East, but I don’t know how far from Basgiath we’ll be.’ He frowns over my shoulder to where I know Xaden and the Section Leaders are huddled in discussion.

Xaden has been given a list of objectives for his Wing to achive, he and the section leaders have to assign them to the squads based on the strengths of the individual teams. It’s a test of their leadership and their ability to make time critical decisions. My squad’s destination will be determined by what task Xaden and Garrick think is best suited to our skills.

Dain’s eyes come back to my face. ‘We could be flying as far as twelve-hundred miles.’

I wince. As far as Montserrat and Andarna had needed two days to make that trip.

‘Maybe they’ll take that into consideration, assign us somewhere closer?’ I suggest hopefully.

‘Maybe,’ Dain looks unsure. ‘If we do have to travel a long way, I don’t want to leave the two of you behind to fly on your own. But if our task is time sensitive, I’m not sure how much choice we’ll have.’

‘We can keep up.’ I assure him. ‘I’ve been developing my signet for this, Andarna and I practice every day and I can travel sixty miles with her now. When she needs to slow down I can jump us both ahead of the squad so she can rest.’

Dain gives me a thoughtful look and I hold my breath that he agrees to let me try it rather than separating me from the squad.

‘That’s very impressive, Cadet Sorrengail.’ Xaden says, suddenly close behind me.

He takes me by surprise and I jump, spinning to look at him.

‘Do you have our orders, Sir?’ Dain asks, looking at Xaden over my shoulder and I move to the side so I can see them both at once.

‘I do.’ Xaden confirms. ‘Aetos, you will be taking your squad to Ivybridge.’ He hands Dain an envelope which must contain details of his objective.

I breathe a small sigh of relief. Ivybridge is a midland fort in the middle of Deaconshire provence. It’s a comparatively easy five-hundred miles away.

Xaden glances my way. ‘Sorrengail, however, Won’t be joining you. She will be flying to Eltuval.’

My stomach does a funny flutter of nerves and excitement. Eltuval is in Elsum provence and it's twice the distance from Basgiath that Ivybridge is. It’s also where Xaden has been ordered to establish his headquarters.

‘But sir,’ Dain begins.

‘I’m also taking Mairi and Cardulo.’ Xaden continues, talking over Dain. ‘Don’t worry Squad Leader, every squad will be losing some cadets to form the headquarter’s squads so you won’t be at a disadvantage.’

Dain clenches his jaw at Xaden, fighting to control his annoyance. ‘No, sir. I’m sure we will be fine without our three most exceptional riders.’

‘Glad you agree.’ Xaden smirks, his mouth curving in that wicked way that’s both infuriating and very kissable.

‘Only, Cadet Sorrengail might be better off staying with me.’ Dain says, earning himself a raised eyebrow from Xaden. ‘It’s just her dragon will struggle to make that flight.’

‘I have a solution for that.’ Xaden assures him calmly. ‘Sgeayl’s mate, Tairn, will be coming with us of course and he has offered to carry Andarna when she reaches her limit.’

Dain gives Xaden a look of utter bewilderment. ‘Will he be able to keep up if he does that?’

‘For the squad leader’s safety I will pretend I didn’t hear that.’ Andarna tells me. ‘Tairn would roast him on sight.’

Xaden rolls his eyes. ‘This is Tairn, the second largest dragon on the continent. He could carry Cath and still out-fly the riot.’

I bite back a smile as Dain turns to me. ‘Are you okay with this?’

‘Andarna trusts Tairn.’ I assure Dain, although I’m not sure that is really his worry. ‘And if Andarna is comfortable with it, I’m comfortable with it.’

‘If you’re sure.’ Dain frowns.

‘You heard her, she’s sure.’ Xaden says with exasperation. ‘Go get ready Sorrengail, we are leaving in twenty minutes and you’re a little over dressed for flying.’

I narrow my eyes at him for drawing Dain’s attention to my outfit. Oh, he’s lucky I love him so much, but I am tempted to make a rude gesture at him just because I can. 

‘I had better pack then.’ I say airily, excusing myself as I turn away and my dress uniform skirt swishes behind me in a satisfactory way. 

But on the inside I want to skip with joy into the dormitory wing. In the last half hour I’ve gone from one emotional extreme to the other; first thinking the life of everyone I cared for was in imminent danger to now having certainly that I’ll be with Xaden for the next five days - and away from the Quadrant too! It’s been like the emotional version of the sky gauntlet; when Andarna had flown an impossibly fast series of dips and climbs.

I walk quickly through the main corridor of the dormitory and I almost collide with another cadet coming out of one of the side halls, pack on his back.

‘Sorry,’ I say, smiling but then my smile drops and I take a step back as I look up into blood-shot ice-blue eyes.

‘What’s this, the little Sorrengail all alone?’ Jack Barlowe smiles down at me and his face is full of malice. 

My heart rate spikes and my skin prickles with power as I reach to my thighs instinctively - but there are no daggers there. My fingers only graze smooth satin. The only weapon I have is the alloy dagger under Xaden’s jacket.

‘Arm yourself!’ Andarna urges.

But I'm reluctant to draw the stolen weapon in the corridor, where anyone could see.

‘My, my, my.’ Jack chuckles, his smile growing as his eyes travel along my shoulder.

I realise too late my hair is no-longer covering the rank and insignia on Xaden’s jacket.

‘So it wasn’t Mairi after all.’ His grin is feral now, his eyes glittering with cold amusement. ‘Or rather, he was acting on orders all along.’

My spine stiffens and anger replaces fear at the insinuation that I'm sleeping with Xaden for protection and that he's ordered Liam to follow me around as a result. ‘If I recall correctly, Barlowe, I’m the one who saved Liam’s life. Not the other way around.’

This doesn't deter Jack, or dull his expression and he continues to smile at me.

But by reminding myself of what I’ve done I feel braver and more in control. I tell myself I don’t need to be scared of him and I step around him and continue down the corridor.

‘Enjoy it while it lasts, Sorrengail!’ Jack calls after me, a laugh still in his voice. ‘In a matter of days your boyfriend will be gone!’

Chapter Text

By late-morning we’ve been flying for hours and Andarna starts to tire. She’s still keeping pace with the larger dragons who surround us but I can feel the muscles in her back and wings starting to complain as if they were my own.

‘You’ve done so well.’ I tell her, stroking my hand on her neck. ‘Would you like me to take us ahead and you can rest while the other’s catch up?’

Andarna is silent for a moment before she responds. ‘Allright.’ She agrees with a sigh. ‘Sgeayl wants us to stop soon; there is a river ahead that is a good place to drink and your Wingleader says we can wait for them there.’

Andarna shares with me the information Sgeayl gave her: the direction the riverside meadow is relative to the position of the sun and the mountains below, a sense of how many miles away it is and a gentle impression like a memory of grass and wild flowers under claws and sweet spring melt on my tongue. I let Andarna’s power fill my body and mind while I close my eyes and reach with my signet, feeling the distance ahead of us.

I’ve been practicing this, traveling somewhere I have never been. I can feel what the edge of my range is in that direction and I choose to focus on a point a little closer, the distance Sgeayl remembers the meadow being ahead of us. The power flows through my body and swirls around that point, eager to reach it. Unlike wielding a small distance, which takes hardly more than a drop of power, wielding this far with Andarna takes almost all the power I can channel. The golden energy zips along the pathways of my arms until it’s all gone and all that remains is curled around our destination; it forms a single brightly burning star against the backdrop of my mind. It hangs there for a moment, golden and luminous, then pops like a soap bubble and I feel the wind change direction on my face and smell the scent of sweet mountain grass.

When Andarna lands beside the river I lift my legs out of the harness and slip from her back without welding. I manage not to fall over when the landing jars my stiff muscles. I drop my pack and walk in slow circles around the meadow, bending to stretch my legs while Andarna takes a long drink from the stream.

After shaking water droplets from her face and front claws Andarna turns back and walks to the edge of the meadow where she collapses into the soft grass.

I walk to her and press a kiss to her snout before settling into the space between her neck and forearm. Andarna opens the eye closest to me and I see myself reflected back in the golden depths. 

‘Do you want to remove the harness?’ I ask.

‘No,’ Andarna says tiredly. ‘I want to keep it on incase we need to leave in a hurry.’ She sighs against my back in contentment before closing her eyes again.

It’s hard to imagine danger in this peaceful meadow. It’s warm but not hot in the sun at this altitude and I am tired too after wielding so far, on top of early wake up. I’m tempted to doze with her. Despite the tranquility and the soothing way the breeze rustles the grass gently around us I know one of us should stay alert so I don’t give into temptation to close my eyes as I wait for our riot to join us. 

Tairn arrives before the others. His massive black form appears over the trees and the grass around us ripples as he beats his wings down to land. I keep an eye on the sky above the trees but no other dragons follow while he walks to the stream. 

Andarna opens her eyes and drozily follows Tairn’s movement with her head.

I peer over Andarna’s foreleg to watch as the huge dragon bends his neck to drink. He must have flown ahead of the riot to join us sooner and I’m a little awed by the display of sheer power in his formidable frame.

He’s almost like a creature built for an entirely different purpose to Andarna. She is all streamlined grace and agility while Tairn is indomitable power. I struggle a little to wrap my mind around the idea that they are the same breed of dragon.

Like he can feel my eyes on him, Tairn swings his head back in our direction and pins me with his golden gaze.

I duck back down below Andarna’s leg and hope he doesn't express his displeasure at being watched by deciding to roast me. But instead of hearing a growl of displeasure I hear a deep chuff of amusement and feel the reverberation of his footsteps as Tairn moves to find a comfortable position in the meadow to rest while we wait.

I sense Andarna’s amusement through our connection and she remains calm and relaxed, settling back into her rest.

When the others do arrive, flying overhead to land in the grass by the stream, I leave Andarna to keep dozing and walk over to join them.

Liam jumps from Deigh’s back like he hasn’t spent hours stuck in the same position and waves to me with his usual sunny smile. I return the wave and go to join him when I’m intercepted by Imogen. She’s trailed by two women I don’t know, though I do note they both have rebelion relics peeking out of the sleeves of their uniform. 

‘This is Sorrengail,’ Imogen says to the two women and gestures to me. ‘She’s not that bad when you get to know her.’ She drops her voice so it won't carry across the meadow. ‘You can trust her, he trusts her.’ She tips her head subtly to the side.

When I glance that way I see Xaden, deep in conversation with his executive officer, Declan. 

The older woman, a third year judging by her stars, raises her eyebrows. 

‘Sorrengail, this is Soleil and Eya.’ Imogen gestures to the third year and second year in turn.

‘Nice to meet you.’ Eya says with a small smile.

I smile in return when raised voices interrupt our introductions.

‘It’s tantamount to treason!’ Yells Declan. 

A spike of adrenaline goes through me and I feel Andarna shift to wakefulness in response. Like everyone else in the meadow my eyes swing to where Declan stands. He’s facing Xaden who’s frown alone would be enough to dissuade most other people from continuing to argue with him.

‘It’s not.’ Xaden states calmly, his voice pitched to carry.

‘You’ve filled the squad with marked ones.’ Declan yells, sweeping his hand in our direction. ‘It’s in violation of the codex.’

There is a subtle shift in the postures of the women beside me and I can feel Imogen’s tension as she moves her weight to the balls of her feet and hovers her hands against the blades at her side. 

My eyes flick around the meadow, taking stock of where everyone is who might pose a threat to Xaden. I assume based on Imogen’s words I can trust Soleil and Eya will be on our side if this does turn into a fight.

Besides Liam there are three other cadets with us, none of whom I know. Two exchange puzzled looks with each other and the third is frowning in our direction. I don’t see rebelion relics on their arms but they are also not jumping to draw weapons at the executive officer’s accusations or moving into a fighting stance.

Despite the tension in the meadow Xaden stands at ease. ‘I’ve simply chosen the best cadets from the Wing outside of senior leadership. Please, do explain how that could possibly be in violation of the Codex.’ He lifts the corner of his mouth in a smirk and his voice is almost mocking.

If I didn't know better - and I now do know better - I’d say Xaden was being over confident in acting so calmly in the face of Declan’s anger. But I trust he knows what he’s doing here.

‘You know damn well how. Marked Ones aren't to gather in groups of more than three. It’s punishable by death.’ Declan says tightly, his eyes flicker around the meadow and if I’m not mistaken he doesn't just look angry, he looks scared.

Xaden laughs. ‘And yet they don’t stop us all from attending formation together, or eating breakfast at the same time. That rule refers to gathering alone in groups of more than three, you know, without other cadets present.’ Xaden’s tone is slow and now it’s definitely mocking. He nods in my direction ‘You don’t think they are over there planning treason with General Sorrengail’s daughter, do you?’

He’s made Declan’s concerns seem downright laughable, although I know not every Wingleader would agree with Xaden’s interpretation of that particular part of the codex and I doubt my mother would either.

‘That’s why you’re here, Declan.’ Xaden says with condensation. ‘You and Sorrengail, Mendez, Henderson and Jenkins. To ensure there are not four of us alone at any time.’ 

It’s subtle, but Xaden’s smirk grows slightly and there is no tension to his jaw as he walks with a relaxed arrogance to close the distance between himself and the other third year. He puts a hand on Declan’s shoulder and pats him twice before walking past him.

The tension in the meadow eases a little as the moment passes. I see Imogen exchange a look with Soleil and in silent agreement the three women beside me depart, each in different directions. I’m left standing alone in the grass, looking across at Liam who’s expression of relief mirrors how I feel.

When our rest is over I cross back to Andarna who stands and stretches her body like a cat.

‘Do you think you can keep flying?’ I ask her.

‘I am alright, I can manage it.’ Andarna insists, straightening and stretching her wings wide. 

She still seems tired but I can hear determination in her tone. And if I think she’s being too stubborn and likely to push herself to exhaustion without need? Well I shoulder my pack and metaphorically bite my tongue, keeping that thought carefully shielded.

I wield us ahead of the riot a few more times as the flight continues, giving Andarna a chance to slow her speed while the others catch up. As a result we have both pushed ourselves and are exhausted but proud by the time we fly into Eltuval in the early afternoon.

Eltuval is situated in the foothills of the Esben mountains in southern Elsum province. It sits upon a hilltop in a heavily forested area. Thick pine and fir trees cover the landscape around the fort, reaching until the Esben mountains rise in rocky peaks above the tree-line, several miles east where Navarre’s borders and wards end.

Eltuval is like Montserrat; a square structure with four sides surrounding a central courtyard. The main difference I spot as I fold up Andarna’s harness and carry it under the portcullis is that the stone it’s built with is different in colour, presumably local to this area. If the internal layout is the same it will at least make finding my way around easy. I take my place beside Liam where the rest of the squad have gathered.

I can clearly remember the warm welcome my squad received at Montserrat, and it wasn't just because I’d seen my sister and run into her arms. Everyone had been friendly and curious about us then, but standing in the courtyard of Eltuval I only see cold hostility on the faces that pass. I look to Xaden who has clearly noticed it too. He takes a confident stance at the head of our group, feet shoulder width apart and head high, hands loose by his sides as he unflinchingly meets the eye of the woman who walks towards us.

The insignia on her jacket denotes her rank as Major and she introduces herself to us as Major Moreno, commanding officer of the fort.

‘Let me make one thing clear, Wingleader.’ The major stresses Xaden’s rank with a slight curl of her lip. ‘We have been ordered to host your squad so we will provide you with quarters and allow you to dine in the mess, but we are here to wage war, not babysit cadets.’

‘Thank you for accommodating us, Major.’ Xaden responds with calm neutrality.

‘I will hold you personally responsible for ensuring none of them interfere with the operations of the fort.’ Moreno’s eyes pass over our group and her cold look doesn't diminish as she takes in the appearance of those of us standing behind Xaden.

‘I assure you, there will be no trouble.’ Xaden says.

‘See that there isn't. The quartermaster will have your room assignments.’ Moreno hands him a scroll and turns, leaving without saying another word.

Xaden salutes anyway, his movements crisp and respectful. Then he cracks the seal on the scroll and reads our orders.

Chapter Text

I lay in bed, cocooned in the warmth and comfort of Xaden’s arms.

Sunlight is starting to peek into the room as I’m pulled slowly from sleep by the soft brush of Xaden’s lips along the exposed curve of my shoulder and neck. I shift against him, pressing myself closer to the warmth of his body and he responds by increasing the pressure of his kisses. It makes me shiver pleasantly and I know he is aware I am awake because I feel his lips curve against my skin.

‘Good morning.’ Xaden chuckles into my neck.

‘Morning,’ I turn, trying to see him.

Xaden takes advantage of this, repositioning himself above me on his forearms as I roll onto my back. He looks down at me with wide pupils and a predatorial smirk that promises wonderful, wicked things.

‘Happy birthday.’ Xaden murmures before dipping his head to kiss me.

I reach up to caress my hands over the skin of his strong arms and shoulders. I cup his face,  holding him there, as I part my lips and invite his tongue to dance with mine. The light stubble on his cheeks tickles my palms and I rake my nails gently over it then slide my fingers into his hair. Xaden groans into my mouth and the kiss is long, heated and deep. My chest is heaving and my heart racing when he breaks it to kiss my neck. 

‘I didn’t know you knew,’ I pant, ‘My birthday.’

Xaden chuckles against the sensitive part on my neck in a way that causes a full body tremor. ‘I’ve made it my business to learn everything I can about you, Violence.’ He works that spot with his tongue for a moment before he shifts his weight to one arm so he can lift the other to cup my breast through my nightgown. ‘How that incredible, sexy mind works, how you take your coffee and exactly how you like to be touched.’ He drags his nail lightly over my nipple to emphasize his point. 

My mind and body are too clouded with pleasure and longing to formulate a sensible reply, but I wrap my legs around him to try and pull him down on to me, so that I can feel more of him.

Clearly having other plans Xaden kisses his way down my chest, not at all deterred by my attempts to trap his hips. He pins mine with his stomach as he works one side of my nightgown down to expose my breast which he quickly covers with licks and kisses.

I thread my hands into his hair again, alternating between tugging the dark strands and pressing his head closer. I gasp and moan as he flicks his tongue over my nipple. ‘Xaden, your tongue.’

‘I know you’re a fan.’ He murmurs, his dark eyes glittering up at me with delight.

He shifts further down my body, still watching me with that expression as he hikes up my nightgown and I help him by lifting my hips so he can slip off my underwear. But rather than either diving in mouth-first or removing his own clothes like I want him to Xaden teases me kissing and stroking my inner thighs. He kisses up to the edge of my vulva and lets his hot breath fan over the sensitive heated skin before kissing his way down the otherside.

This drags on- till I’m a mess of anticipation, writhing beneath him with fingers tight in his hair. Every time I think he’s finally going to do it- spread my outer lips with his fingers and dip his tongue in to taste my arousal - only for him to leave me aching and more desperate. 

‘Xaden, please - Please touch me, I need you.’ I beg, when I can’t take it anymore.

‘Since you asked so nicely.’ Xaden chuckles.

I have half a second to be annoyed at him before his face is between my thighs, his tongue lapping at my entrance before he swirls it around my clit and my back lifts off the bed. Then I’m beyond words, moaning and fighting for breath as he settles his mouth right where I want it, licking in a steady rhythm that’s just right.

Xaden lifts my legs over his shoulders and cups my ass in his hands, tilting my hips so he can devour me properly. Pleasure builds hot and sweet in my lower body, sparking along my spine and making my legs shake. When I’m close Xaden eases one long finger into my entrance, pressing the pad of his finger up against my inner wall and working it in small circles.

I fall apart, screaming his name and probably tugging his hair too hard as my orgasm crashes over me in waves. 

When he’s thoroughly wrung every ounce of pleasure from my body I whimper and shift away from his tongue on my over-sensitive clit. Xaden crawls back up my body. He kisses my forehead and holds me against his chest as he tucks the blanket over us.

‘I love you.’ I say into the warm bronze skin of his chest, pressing my own kiss amongst the dusting of dark hair.

‘I love you too.’ His voice is tender and I can hear his smile in it.

I bask in the afterglow for a few minutes before starting to slide my hand down to the waistband of his sleep pants and the erection I can feel pressed against my body.

‘Nope,’ Xaden smirks, catching my hand and pulling it up from under the covers. ‘We don’t have time for that this morning.’

‘We would have, if you hadn’t been such a tease.’ I tip my head up and pout.

‘Was that a complaint about my technique, Violence?’ He cocks his scared brow. ‘Where are your manners? Didn’t anyone teach you not to look a gift-dragon in the mouth?’

‘Thank you,’ I say with an overly-sweet tone, looking up at him through my lashes. ‘Very much for my birthday present, Xaden. Pretty, pretty please may I unwrap my other one?’ I wiggle against him and the tensing of his abdominals tells me he’s not totally immune.

‘If you're a good girl, you can unwrap it later.’ Xaden says gruffly and starts to slip out of the bed. ‘Now get that ass ready for breakfast before your Wingleader wonders where you are.’ He leans over to give me a spank on my ass that makes me gasp. His look is positively devious as he crosses the room to the wash stand.

Despite his words I make no move to get out of bed. I roll onto my belly across the bed and rest my chin on my arms as I watch him weave a short-lived warming rune which he tempers into the pewter pitcher of water. The muscles under the skin of his back ripple as he lifts the pitcher to pour water into the basin and I follow them with my eyes.

Our room - really Xaden’s - in Eltuval is a vacant lieutenant’s room. It doesn't have the luxury of a private washroom as those are reserved for senior officers, but it is equipt for Xaden to shave and have a perfunctory wash if he fetches water from the communal washroom.

I’m not sure why, but I’ve found I love watching him shave. He does this in the bathrooms at Basgiath, perhaps with Garrick at his side so they can watch each other’s backs. I’ve never seen him do it before and the last two mornings I’ve started watching him and I’ve found it an unexpected delight.

Maybe it’s the sight of the razor, glittering sharp, unfolded in his hand - which I’m not sure says anything particularly healthy about me. But I can’t deny I find the sight of a blade in his hand hot. Maybe it's the contrast of his powerful and strong body moving with care and skill as he glides the razor over his throat and chin. Maybe it’s just the intimacy and vulnerability of the moment between us. Xaden faces away from me, with his focus entirely on the task he’s comparatively vulnerable and he trusts me entirely to be here watching him while he does it.

This morning as I watch him I plot how I will return the favor for this morning's wake up. I follow the movement of the muscles in his back with my eyes and dream about doing the same with my lips

‘I want you to fly with me this morning.’ Xaden remarks as he takes a moment to dip the razor in the basin.

‘Hmm?’ I hum, a little distracted by my pleasant thoughts.

Xaden smirks at me over his shoulder. ‘I said I want you to fly with me this morning, With me and Sgaeyl. Tairn will carry Andarna.’

‘But we can keep up.’ I protest.

‘I don’t want you or Andarna wearing yourself out just to get to Orsanco.’ Xaden explains. ‘If we are flying into battle today I’m going to need you both. You will be vital to any strategy I’ll have, Violence. You didn’t think I put you in my squad just to warm my bed, did you?’ His tone turns from gentle to teasing.

‘No…’ I roll my eyes and slip out of the bed. ‘I thought maybe you were madly in love with me and couldn’t bear to be apart.’

‘That too.’ Xaden admits. 

While he splashes water on his face and dries it on a towel I swipe the jar of cream he uses after shaving from under his arm. He meets my eye in the mirror and gives me a glare that has absolutely no heat to it for stealing it.

‘Violence.’ He warns playfully.

But I’m not trying to stop him from getting ready. I undo the lid and offer him a dollop on the end of my finger. Xaden bends slightly to let me dab it onto his cheeks and chin.

‘Is Sgaeyl happy for me to ride with you to Orsanco?’ I ask curiously, fingers sweeping over his smooth cheeks.

‘Not happy, exactly.’ Xaden admits. ‘But willing. She’s contrite about having discouraged me from confiding in you.’

I know he’s speaking about his second signet. The one that’s a death sentence if anyone else finds out.

‘She was just being protective of you. I don’t blame her for that.’ I shrug my shoulders and smile at him as I return the stolen jar. 

‘You will smell like me.’ Xaden warns as he watches me rub excess cream into my hands.

‘Good.’ I lift my hands to my nose and breathe in the scent of mint.

Xaden shakes his head but smiles as he takes the basin to tip his shaving water out the window. He’s left me half the warm water in the pitcher to wash up if I want.

‘Xaden,’ I say gently, Touching his arm as he returns the basin for me.

He gives me his attention. Turning his body towards mine and fixing his eyes on my face.

I hesitate for a moment, biting my lip. ‘When is your birthday?’ I ask softly.

Xaden freezes. I can feel the tension in his arm under my hand. His throat moves as he visibly swallows.

‘March.’ He says hoarsely.

I can’t stop my eyebrows lifting in surprise, we might have spent it together and he didn’t say anything. But I guess I would be a hypocrite to point that out - not that I was intending to keep mine a secret -  I just had been distracted from telling him before now.

‘Can we not do this? Not right now?’ Xaden asks, his voice tight and he looks away from me. ‘It’s not that I want to keep secrets but I don’t want to ruin your birthday with my…’ he seems at a loss for the right word and lets the sentence hang.

‘Okay.’ I say, stepping towards him to hug his waist. I don’t think it’s too wild a guess that this relates to his father. I know how hard it is from him to talk about his dad so I respect his request. I file this away as something to bring up later.

Xaden hugs me back and kisses me when I tip my face up. His expression is sad, but relieved.

……………..

Dressed in my flight leathers with my hair braided on top of my head I leave Xaden’s room at his side. It seems silly to keep pretending we aren't together now, when I’m certain that the news of our relationship will have spread throughout Basgiath by the time we return.

Xaden blamed himself when I told him about my encounter with Jack. I didn’t think he deserved all the blame, clearly neither of us had been thinking clearly that morning. I could have easily gotten my own jacket from my room before formation, rather than borrowed his.

Ultimately who’s fault it was didn’t matter and in a way I was glad the extreme secrecy was over. We weren’t openly flaunting our relationship, especially not in front of the fort’s officers, but it was nice not to have to pretend our relationship was strictly professional. I sat with him at meals and we talked openly about things other than training.

I wait as Xaden weaves a ward over the door behind us and the door across the corridor opens revealing Liam. His sky-blue eyes meet mine and he smiles, displaying his dimple.

‘Good morning Violet, happy birthday.’ Liam pulls me in for a hug.

‘Thanks Liam.’ I laugh into the front of his uniform, he’s as tall as Xaden and his hug swamps me.

‘You can let her go now, Mairi.’ Xaden says in a joking tone.

‘If you want a hug too you only have to ask.’ Liam grins and he moves with the speed that’s won him every challenge he’s faced on the mat and captures his foster brother in a hug before Xaden can get away. Or maybe Xaden lets him catch him.

Xaden rolls his eyes at me over Liam’s shoulder but he does hug him back.

There is a noticeable hush as we enter the mess hall. Liam and I step in first and Xaden follows. As he does so, voices hush and faces turn towards us, looking past me to him. The occupants of the tables we pass follow Xaden with their eyes as we make our way to the table in the corner that our squad has claimed as their own.

Halfway along I pass a table where a group of scribes is. One of them, a young man who had been friendly and welcoming to me yesterday when I visited the scribes office to collect our correspondence, glares at xaden with such anger his pleasant face is almost made unrecognisable.

I don’t need to glance back at him to know Xaden is holding his head high, acting like this response to his presence is beneath his notice. I want desperately to take his hand in mine and walk at his side, making it clear where my allegiance is to both him and our audience. But I don’t. 

Once our makeshift squad is all present Xaden briefs the others on what I already know; He tells them that our schedule of patrols will be canceled for today and the whole squad is flying west after breakfast.

Besides overseeing and coordinating the movement of Fourth Wing, our squad has our own objective to complete before we return to Basgiath; to discover and capture a defensive position held by a First Wing squad in our assigned area. I’ve spent the last two days flying messages between forts and conducting scouting patrols with the rest of the squad, none of which have turned up any leads.

I’ve been having fun, enjoying the opportunity to practice my signet with Andarna, but I know Xaden is suspicious that we’ve found nothing yet. He admitted to me that he wouldn’t be surprised if Colonel Aetos sent him after a target that doesn't exist.

‘Tail Section have reported coming across something suspicious in the Orsanco Pass.’ Xaden tells us, glancing around at his assembled squad. ‘The message arrived late last night.’

‘So you’re taking us all off patrol to investigate?’ Asks Declan, his tone flat.

I exchange a glance with Eya who sits across from me. Things have been tense with Declan since we departed Basgiath and he realised half the squad bore rebelion relics. This is not the first time he’s sullenly pushed back on Xaden’s orders.

He seems to want to distance himself as much as possible from the Wingleader who gave him his position. He modified the patrol schedules so that he and Xaden are never on duty together and he leaves the mess hall as soon as meals are over. Even this morning he’s seated himself as far from Xaden as he can while remaining at the table.

‘Orsanco is too far away for the dragons to communicate. If what Bridget’s found is our target I don’t want to waste a day flying there and back before I take it.’ Xaden frowns.

Tomorrow is our last full day in the field before we are expected back at Basgiath.

‘And if it’s not you’ve wasted a day taking us all there.’ Declan crosses his arms and sits back in his chair. ‘You should leave half the squad here with me to continue patrols.’

‘Our target isn’t on this side of Elsum province.’ Xaden states, a muscle ticking in his jaw. ‘If the location Bridget has identified isn’t our target we’ll use the time to search the area around it thoroughly.’

‘What was it the Section Leader reported?’ Soleil asks, drawing attention away from the sullen executive officer. She sits at the other end of the table from Declan and I have to turn to face her.

Xaden’s tone is noticeably less frosty as he addresses the young woman he’s known since childhood. ‘A fort. According to her information it should be vacant, but the Tail Section’s First squad flew over it yesterday and saw soldiers in infantry uniforms.’

‘Maybe her information is out of date.’ Declan mumbles.

‘A fort in the Orsanco Pass?’ I ask, pretending I don’t know the entire contents of the message already.

‘That’s right.’ Xaden nods at me.

‘Hmm, that’s an old trading route up the escarpment into Tyrrendor, not often used since unification and the majority of trade with Poromiel stopped.’ I say thoughtfully, picturing in my mind the map in my mother’s office.

‘Thanks for the history lesson, Sorrengail.’ laughs Andrew Henderson, one of the non-marked members of the squad. He’s sitting on the end of the table beside Declan who shares an amused look with him.

‘There isn’t an active post there.’ I shake my head, fixing my eyes firmly on Xaden and ignoring Henderson.

‘First years.’ Sighs Declan with exasperation, straightening up from his slouch to look at me. ‘It’s very impressive you’ve memorised what you heard in Battle Brief. But in case you haven’t realised yet, sweetheart, they don’t tell us cadets everything. Some information is above your pay grade.’ 

I narrow my eyes at the older man and seeth inside, fighting to control my temper. ‘I had realised that, actually.’ I bite out. ‘And my source isn’t Battle Brief. It’s the map in my mother's office. My mother, who is the commanding general of Basgiath? Do you think the location of midland forts is above her pay grade?’

Someone snickers on my other side. I think it’s Imogen but I don’t turn to check.

‘Are you quite done?’ Asks Xaden with a bored tone, lifting his eyebrow at his executive officer.

Declan doesn’t have anything more to say and slumps back in his chair with his mouth shut.

‘Good.’ Says Xaden. ‘Everyone, grab rations from the kitchen and get ready to fly. We are leaving in 30 minutes.’

Chapter Text

‘I am not a hatchling - I do not need to be carried like one.’ Andarna grumbles.

‘Of course you are not.’ I agree with her sympathetically. ‘Xaden doesn't think you are one and it’s not intended as an insult. He just needs us both to be rested if there is a battle today, and there probably will be. You know he’s relying on us, they all will be; we can do things no-other pair in our squad can.’

Andarna considers this as the squad settles into traveling formation, following Sgaeyl’s lead as she banks and turns southwest. We are tucked directly behind the Navy Blue with Deigh on one side of us and Glane flying on the other.

I feel the mental sigh from my dragon as she considers directly disobeying orders then dismisses the idea. Beating her wings more rapidly Andarna lifts up out of our position in formation and with a short burst of speed gains on Tairn. 

‘Thank you. I think you are making the right decision by agreeing.’ I tell her.

‘You are just pleased you’ll be with your mate.’ Andarna teases.

Below us I can see Xaden looking up at us, at me. He straightens his posture and sits upright, opening his arms in invitation. 

I can’t deny to Andarna the truth of what she says. I’ve very much been enjoying our stay in Eltuval, the break from classes and the chance to spend so much time with Xaden. I’ve been savoring every moment with him, saving it up to hold onto during our impending separation and I sense Xaden is doing the same.

As Andarna begins to drop down towards Tairn I wield to Xaden. His arms wrap around me, holding me firm to his chest and I sigh in contentment and I lay my hands over his where they rest at my sides. I think I feel him press a quick kiss against my hair and grin into the wind.

‘Just don’t enjoy it too much,’ Andarna warns in a sing-song tone, ‘or Sgaeyl will toss you off her back.’

I blush slightly at the insinuation that we can’t be trusted to keep our hands to ourselves in front of our squad and I’m glad no-one can see my face.

It’s not an incredibly long flight towards the border with Tyrrendor and by having Tairn carry Andarna, Xaden is able to have the squad keep a pace that gets us there in three hours. I try to enjoy every restful minute of it, cradled against Xaden’s chest.

I wield back to Andarna as we get close to our destination, a fort that sits in a wide, flat valley that ends in the escarpment that marks Tyrrendor’s border. 

We land outside the fort in a green field and Andarna takes Tairn’s place at the front of the formation. Having no rider who needs to dismount the huge black dragon doesn't land. Instead he circles above the fort and flies back towards the far-end of the valley.

When I slide down Andarna’s side I’m greeted by Bodhi’s friendly smile outside the portculls. It’s impossible not to smile back as I push my goggles up my face.

‘Hey Violet. Having a good war game?’ He asks.

‘I am.’ I laugh, ‘Yourself?’

‘I can’t complain.’ Bodhi grins.

Xaden has dismounted and crossed the distance to Bodhi and I in quick strides. ‘I hear you think you’ve found our target.’ He says to his cousin, not bothering with a greeting.

‘Yeah I do.’ Bodhi agrees. ‘Gather your squad and I’ll show you.’

…………………….

Xaden followed Bodhi as his cousin led them through the fort, his somewhat rag-tag squad trailing after them. The infantry, scribes and few riders they passed cast them openly curious glances and a few even nodded at Bodhi in greeting as they passed.

Was it the distance to the border with Poromiel that made the difference in attitude, he wondered? Or was it the difference between Fen Riorson’s son and his nephew?

The Tail Section had set up a makeshift war room in the corner of the mess hall and that was where Bodhi took them. As it was mid-morning the space was otherwise empty, save a few officers who were clearly off duty today.

Bridget Sykes was in conversation with the Squad Leader for Tail Section, First squad as they approached but she turned to face them and gave Xaden a friendly nod of greeting. He allowed a little time for exchanging professional pleasantries as the group arranged themselves around the table, then he asked about what she and Bodhi had found.

‘The old fort is located here,’ Bridget gestured to a square symbol on the map spread on the table before them. ‘As you can see it’s very close by, it would be visible from the battlements but for the terrain it’s hidden in. The fort is located where the pass is sheer either side and there is a switchback in the road below.’

Around the table everyone leaned forward and gave their focus to what Bridget was saying. Xaden took in what she was describing but he also glanced up to ensure Liam and Soleil were paying attention. Xaden had a decent ability to read maps himself but knew Liam excelled at interpreting this kind of information and Soleil had distinguished herself in land nav during their second year.

Part of being a leader was knowing when to rely on the skills of others.

Beside Liam, Violet had a very cute frown on her face and she glared at the lines inked on the paper like they have personally offended her. Xaden smothered the urge to smile at her.

‘We knew the structure was there, from our maps. According to all the information we have, it should be abandoned.’ Bridget continued. ‘None of the riders stationed here are aware of troops posted there.’

‘You’re sure it’s occupied?’ Xaden asked thoughtfully.

Bridget nodded but it was the squadleader, Isla Clearwater, who answered him. ‘We saw it on a patrol, one of my squad has far sight and he saw a small group of people in infantry blue in the courtyard. We circled back but no-one was visible then. Suggesting they were hiding when they saw the dragons flying overhead.’ 

Isla was a second year and her shields were imperfect. She had no intention of lying to him.

‘I outright asked the major in command here if it was a classified operation and he denied it. I can’t think of any other explanation for soldiers in that fort, other than war games.’ Bridget summarized.

Xaden had to agree with her, nothing else made sense. It was with-in the area he’d been assigned, if barely, and hiding the objective so close to a fort where one of his wing’s leadership had been posted was actually clever. They almost did overlook it entirely.

‘I can’t either. And they wouldn’t need many to hold a location like that, the terrain does most of the defending.’ Xaden said. The road through the pass doubled back below the fort, any approach on foot would be seen and easily driven back.

‘You should also know the fort has bars over the courtyard, to prevent airborne attacks.’ Bodhi added.

Across the table Violet blinked and tilted her head to the side in surprise, then scrunched her nose.

Xaden sighed internally. He should really work with her on masking her expressions more. He was tempted to ask her out-loud what was bothering her about what Bodhi just said but decided against it because it would draw attention to how attuned he was to her every expression.

‘So we can’t walk in and we can’t fly in.’ Declan muttered. ‘Great.’ 

There was a brief flash of surprise on Bridget’s face and she turned to glance at the executive officer where he hung back from the table rather than taking the spot at Xaden’s side.

Declan's behaviour was annoying and childish but Xaden didn’t have time to worry about the insubordination right now.

‘They likely don’t have a large force, but I’d like to take whoever is inside by surprise if we can. That means getting close without being seen, not from the air where they will spot and recognise our dragons.’ Xaden looked at Liam and Soleil, inviting them to speak if they had any ideas.

‘If we can reach this point here, we will have a clear view of the fort.’ Liam reached over to indicate a  place on the map. ‘I’d be able to see any activity on the walls or around the portcullis.’ Liam glanced significantly at Violet at his side. The message was crystal clear. If Violet can see the fort she can wield the squad there. 

Xaden felt a burst of pride at Liam’s strategic thinking. He knew Liam held back in Battle Brief, working on his carvings and not answering questions, but that didn’t mean he wasn't listening and formulating his own ideas.

‘You’re confident you can get there on foot?’ Xaden asked.

‘I am.’ Liam nodded.

‘Also,’ Soleil spoke up. ‘It looks like there is an approach to the fort from this side.’ She traced her finger along the map, down from the north.

‘It is likely there is more than one way in and out.’ Xaden agreed. 

Just like him, Soleil had spent her childhood running around Tyrrish forts. Each one Xaden was familiar with was built with a secret way out in the event of a siege. As the one they were planning to attack was commissioned by his ancestors before unification he expected it to have one too. It might be too much to hope that they will be able to find the exit to the passage today, but they might be able to reach the walls of the fort without being seen.

With two promising plans to take the fort’s occupants by surprise, Xaden decided to divide the squad into two groups and send one after each approach. 

He looked around the table again at the members of his headquarters’ squad. He had a mixture of riders he would trust with his life and those who were chosen simply because of which squads he was pulling from. The two groups had not mixed comfortably the last few days and Xaden regretted not stacking his squad entirely with allies. 

But he hadn’t thought it was worth provoking leadership over.

‘First Squad have things under control here today, if you want two more Riders for your squad today.’ Bridget offered, referring to herself and Bodhi, after confirming quietly with Isla.

Xaden accepted the offer quickly, and with gratitude. Adding Bridget and Bodhi to the team alleviated his concerns about who he could send south with Liam and Violet while he lead the other group. Sending two first years on their own, putting them under Declan’s leadership or pulling Soleil from his group when he’ll need her had been his only options and he hadn’t liked any of them.
…………………………….

‘You have to stay here.’ I tell Andarna.

Her barbed tail swishes with annoyance behind her as she fixes me in her golden-eyed gaze.

‘I am small and quiet, not large and clumsy. I can stay hidden under the trees with you. I am very good at hiding.’

I sigh, ‘It’s not up to me. Ask Sgaeyl.’

Andarna’s presence in my mind dimms for a moment as she reaches to speak to Sgaeyl. She blinks and her body quivers with irritation.

‘I will remain here.’ Andarna agrees reluctantly.

I rest my hand on the edge of her snout and Andarna closes her eyes in resignation and lets out a moist sigh. I watch as she turns away and seeks a soft place in the sunny paddock to wait in.

‘She’s reluctant to leave you. Your bond must be very strong.’ Bridget notes as I turn away from Andarna and back to my team.

I blink at the squad leader in surprise as she studies me thoughtfully with keen dark eyes. Her expression isn’t unkind but it is a little unnerving to be under her scrutiny. I remind myself that although there is no rebellion relic on the dark brown skin of her left forearm she is someone Xaden and Bodhi both trust.

I shrug at her observation because I don’t have context for how strong my bond with Andarna is.

‘It’s unexpected because of her size.’ Bridget elaborates. ‘Usually the size of a dragon is indicative of their power and therefore how strongly they will bond.’

Now that she says that I do remember Kaori saying something similar before threshing.

‘I don’t think the usual rules apply for Andarna.’ I say.

‘Or to you.’ Bridget says with a knowing smile.

A little uncomfortable I find I’m not able to hold her gaze anymore and look for my pack. I swear I left it on the ground here when I dismounted from Andarna’s back.

‘I send it back with Deigh.’ Liam admits, seeing my puzzled expression. ‘I put all your stuff in mine.’

I give my friend an exasperated look. ‘You don’t have to do that. I can carry my own pack.’ I say in an embarrassed whisper.

‘I know, but you don’t have to and this hike will be easier on you if you aren't carrying anything.’ Liam loops an arm over my shoulder and steers me toward the start of our path. ‘Come on, let me finally pay you back for proof reading all my essays.’

I blush slightly but I don’t push. I’d only waste time if I demanded Deigh bring my pack back so that I could carry it myself.

The hike isn’t too bad, we weave up the steep hill at the base of the Tyrrendor plateau; following tracks made by deer or mountain sheep. I am grateful for Liam relieving me of my pack though, I’m more steady and surefooted than I would be with it changing my center of gravity.

The only difficulty we find is an area where a recent rock slide makes passage impossible for all of us. But it’s a simple matter for me to wield the other three past it so none of us have to scrabble across the dangerous tumble of rocks that look all too likely to slip again.

At mid-day Liam is leading us along a ridge that he is confident will take us to our destination. He freezes suddenly ahead of me and holds his arm out to stop me stepping forward. 

‘What is it?’ Bridget whispers behind me. She’s come to a stop at my back.

‘There is a building up ahead.’ Liam hisses over his shoulder.

The rest of us retreat back behind the last pinetree while Liam approaches cautiously to get a better look. He leaves his pack at my feet and pulls his jacket over his blonde hair so it doesn't show under the branches of the trees. 

He’s not gone long before he’s back.

‘It’s a two story stone structure, it looks like a watch tower.’ He reports.

Bridget frowns. ‘It’s unexpected, the maps don’t indicate there is a watch tower.’

‘Maybe it’s a ruin and people have forgotten it’s there.’ Bodhi suggests.

Liam shakes his head. ‘No, it’s newly constructed and it’s definitely in use. I saw two guards inside. It’s on the peak we are aiming for, probably concealed in the trees but it would have a great view of the fort and the road in either direction.’

Bridget glances at me thoughtfully. ‘I’m going to ask Riorson what he wants us to do, but if he agrees we should try and take it, can you wield us inside?’

‘If I can see it I can wield there.’ I assure her.

I wait quietly, fingers clasped in front of me as Bridget talks to her dragon, a far-away look on her face. This is part of following orders and respecting the chain of command.

‘Alright.’ She says, blinking and focusing on us again. ‘Riorson agrees we should try and take the watch tower. He wants us to take the guards prisoner and see what we can learn from them.’

Following Bridget’s orders Liam guides us cautiously forward until I can see the tower ahead of us. I agree with Liam’s assessment that it’s new. The mortar looks fresh. But it also looks small, like there is just one round room on both levels.

‘What’s wrong, Sorrengail?’ Bridget has her dark eyes on me where we are crouched under the cover of a tree.

‘I’m worried about wielding us all in there at once. It doesn’t look like there is much room.’ I tell her.

 I’d hate to wield someone part-way inside a wall or a table. I’m not sure if it could actually happen but this seems like a bad time to put the possibility to the test. Why haven’t I taken the time to test this possibility before now?

Bridget’s brow furrows. ‘How certain are you that there are only two guards?’ She asks Liam.

‘Positive.’ Liam assures her.

Bridget looks to Bodhi and he nods at her silent question.

‘Durran will go with you, we will wait here for your signal.’ Bridget tells me.

I nod agreement and move to stand closer to Bodhi, leaving less space between us than I usually do when wielding with my friends.

The room at the top of the watch tower is small and Liam was right that there were only two guards. They were both watching the road down to the valley and they leap to their feet, one knocking over his chair, when we appear.

‘Riders!’ One yells, drawing a sword from the scabbard at his side. 

That banishes any doubt I had that this was our objective. If these infantry officers had nothing to do with war games their response to our presence would not be to attack us.

The other guard doesn't face us, but rushes to grab a flag from the wall. I realise with a jolt that he’s going to signal to the fort. I can’t let him do that.

Bodhi drops my hand to draw his own weapons and I wield out of his way, leaving him to face this opponent while I deal with the other guard.

I wield onto his back, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He stumbles to his knees before he reaches the window and I snatch the flag off him, tossing it over my shoulder.

He grabs me by one arm and tries to tip me forward over his head and roll me off him - but it’s a move I’m expecting and he’s utterly bewildered when I vanish from his grasp. I plant my knee square in the middle of his shoulder blades and force him to the floor. It works because he wasn’t expecting it and I used his own momentum against him. 

He’s big enough to throw me off him if he tries so I make sure he stays where he is by drawing a dagger and pressing it to the side of his neck. He stills when he feels the metal against his skin and lets his body sag against the floor.

‘Put your hands on the back of your head and keep them there.’ I tell him.

He complies with my request, moving them slowly from beside his body and folding them, one on top of the other, on top of his head.

I chance a look over at Bodhi. He has two daggers drawn and is fending off his opponent’s attack. As I watch he gets inside the other man’s guard and hits him in the side of the head with the hilt of his dagger.

The guard falls - hard - and Bodhi curses when he doesn’t rise again. Bodhi drops to one knee and feels for the man’s heart beat.

‘Alive, but out cold.’ He says in answer to the look on my face. 

Bodhi takes a few steps across the room and drops down beside my prisoner’s head.

‘Got any rope we can tie you up with?’ Bodhi asks, his tone friendly. After all, we are only playing at war here.

I pull my blade back a little so the man can turn his head and face Bodhi. But rather than answering the question he fixes his eyes on Bodhi’s left hand and I see them flash with hatred.

‘Fuck-off, traitor scrum’. The man spits out.

Bodhi rocks back on his heels in shock before any trace of easiness is whipped away from his face and his posture stiffens. He assumes a blank mask that wouldn’t be out of place on his cousin's face.

‘Fetch the others, I'll look after the prisoner.’ Bodhi says to me calmly as he draws his own dagger and moves to take my position with his knee in the man’s back.

A little shaken from the infantry guard’s outburst, I hurry down the ladder to the lower floor of the tower and throw open the door. I signal to Bridget and Liam who are concealed close by.

‘Would you like me to update Sgaeyl?’ Andarna asks me as I hold the door for the others to enter the tower.

‘That’s not necessary, the Squad Leader will report.’ I answer, frowning as I turn to grasp the bottom of the ladder. But I don’t climb.

My connection to Andarna is wide open and power still hums under my skin. I can’t help but sense how close she is, although I don’t reach to wield.

‘I told you, I’m small and quiet. Not even your keen-eyed friend knew I was following.’ Andarna says with pride.

Liam and Bridget are on the upper floor now. Rather than following them I turn back to the door and throw it open again to peer out into the pine trees.

I don’t see her, but when I reach for her I feel that she should be standing before me.

‘Andarna, where are you?’

She steps out from under cover and it’s like she’s materialised from the shadows. ‘I’m very good at hiding.’ Andarna reminds me.

I can’t quite process this right now, but I swear she hadn’t been under that tree a moment before.

There are boots on the ladder behind me and I spin as Liam jumps the last few rungs to the ground.

‘Everything all right?’ He asks, frowning at me and then glancing out over my shoulder into the trees and back to my face again.

‘I was just talking to Andarna.’ I explain, glancing back to see that she’s vanished again.

Liam gives me a curious look and gestures for me to go ahead of him up the ladder.

Upstairs I find Bridget arguing with our prisoner. Someone must have found rope because the man is now tied to a chair. His fellow guard is lying close by, stretched out with his head pillowed on a rough blanket.

‘I’m not telling you anything, Squad Leader.’ The guard glares at Bridget and spits her title like it’s an insult.

‘I told you I’m working with the Wingleader, not stealing his objective. This is his squad,’ She gestures to us.

‘And I told you my orders are clear. Colonel Aetos told me only to give my information to the Wingleader.’ The man argues.

Bridget throws her hands up in frustration and turns away. She gestures us close and we huddle on the far side of the small room from the guards, by the window that looks towards the fort.

‘Stubborn idiot.’ Bridget mutters under her breath as she glares at the guard.

‘How quickly can Xaden get here?’ Liam asks.

Bridget shakes her head tightly. ‘It would be late afternoon before he does. He’d have to hike to the valley floor then follow our path. They’ve found a passage into the fort and Riorson is considering going ahead without this idiot's information.’

‘I could wield to him, if Sgaeyl can show Andarna where he is.’ I offer.

Bridget is giving this consideration - and presumably consulting - when we hear a groan from the guard Bodhi knocked out.

Liam steps over to the man and helps him sit up. ‘You all right?’

The man glances at Liam and winces, lifting a hand to his head. ‘Yeah I think so, but my head hurts. Is it over yet?’

‘No yet.’ Liam says apologetically. He hands the man one of the canteens left on the table 

‘It will be over more quickly if you give us the intel on the fort.’ Bridget offers pointedly

Our prisoner in the chair protests, reminding his partner of their orders.

‘Aetos can go to hell,’ The injured guard grumbles. ‘My head is killing me. I’ll tell you whatever you want if I can go lie down in the dark.’ he gestures at the ladder to the lower level.

‘Deal.’ Bridget agrees quickly.

‘There are two squads in the keep.’ The guard tells Bridget quickly, talking over the other man’s objections. ‘One infantry, one squad of rider cadets. The riders are guarding a crystal egg.’

‘That’s it?’ Bridget asks, her eyes narrowing.

The man shrugs. ‘I don’t know what else to tell you. We were just supposed to watch the road and signal the fort if we saw Riders approaching.’ 

After some consideration of what we have been told Bridget decides to dismiss the man and he gratefully heads down the ladder. The Section Leader shakes her head and throws up a blue sound shield as she turns her gaze on me.

‘Riorson wants you to fetch the others.’ Bridget tells me.

The small circular fort is hazy for a moment and Andarna overlays my vision with hers. She’s flying above the fort and looking down.

‘Andarna!’ In my shock I say the world out loud.

‘Calm down.’ Andarna soothes. ‘I will not be seen and Sgaeyl gave me permission to fly.’ She sends waves of reassurance along our bond.

Xaden must have decided to take a calculated risk. I don’t agree but I huff and don’t argue further as Andarna circles high above the fort and I see a black clad figure with dark hair and broad shoulders standing at a stone outcrop below the wall of the fort. My vision returns to the room around me and I blink and shake my head to dispel the dizziness that accompanies the transition.

‘Do you have what you need?’ Bridget asks me.

I nod. ‘I’ll be back in a moment.’

I wield to a small grassy patch between the outcrop of rocks and a steep drop. 

Xaden gestures me forwards when I arrive and I step under the cover of the rocks quickly, glancing up at the walls of the fort. I’m surprised to find him alone and I look around, looking for the others.

Xaden puts his hand on my elbow and bends low to speak in my ear. I shiver slightly at the warmth from his body and the way his low voice sounds.

‘The others are in the tunnel. I want you to take them back with you - I’m going to go in alone.’

So they did find a way into the fort. I can see now that I'm closer that there is a gap in the rocks behind him and I guess that is the opening of the tunnel. It reminds me of the one at Basgiath that leads to the flight field.

‘Do you want me to come with you?’ I offer.

Xaden’s face softens slightly and he smiles at me tenderly. ‘Thank you, but I’ll be all right. I think I can handle this. Besides you won’t be able to see anything in the dark.’

I realise he intends to use his shadows, sneak in and steal the egg before anyone realises what is happening.

‘Please be careful.’ I whisper.

‘It’s sweet of you to worry, Violence.’ He says with a smirk. He lifts his other hand to my chin and tips my head up slightly before pressing a quick kiss to my lips. ‘I’ll be back before you have time to miss me.’

……………………..

It’s cramped in the watch tower with most of our squad there. People are jostling a little to get a place by the window where they have a view of the fort. Liam and Bodhi make room for me between them when I finish ferrying everyone over and no-one complains as I take my spot - resting my hands on the windowsill to watch.

I swallow a gasp as a cloud of shadow rises up in a blink of an eye to cover the entire building. I knew Xaden was powerful but seeing it in action is something else. 

I’m not the only one who’s impressed and the muttered exclamation of ‘Fuck me-’ from behind us makes me bite back a smile of pride.

But then we wait and my pride fades to be replaced by concern.

Minutes pass and I feel increasingly uneasy. I look to Liam beside me and he exchanges a glance with Bodhi over my head.

‘We follow orders.’ Bodhi says.

‘How long did it take him to do this last time?’ I ask Bodhi. Liam and I had been in the healer’s quadrant while Xaden executed his now infamous single-handed attack on a tower in our first war game battle.

‘No long.’ Bodhi admits, turning back to the view. If I’m reading his tone correctly he's tense too.

We wait a few more minutes. Then the shadow that has covered the fort falls away and we can see from the tower that the portcullis is down. There is no sign of Xaden. As seconds tick past there is no call from Sgaeyl or sign of the portcullis rising again. All that I can see is an excited movement of infantry on the battlement as a handful of archers take up posts.

‘Come on, Xaden, where are you?’ Liam asks in a low voice.

Behind me the infantry guard we still have tied to a chair starts to laugh. The sound makes all the hair on my neck stand on end.

I glance back at the man and see his eyes are fixed on the fort over my shoulder. He has a wide, almost feral, grin as his shoulders shake with mirth.

‘Something is wrong.’ I say as I turn to Liam, dread churning in my stomach. ‘I don’t think this is part of the war game.’ 

‘It’s not.’ Confirms the man we are holding prisoner.

When I look back at him the guards eyes are on me, shining with cruel pleasure.

‘What is this?’ Bodhi acts quickly, in a flash of steel he has the man’s hair in a fist and the edge of his dagger at his neck. ‘You’ll speak if you value your life.’

The man snickers at Bodhi.

Bridget strides to Bodhi’s side. ‘Answer him.’ She orders.

The man seems unbothered by both their words and the position Bodhi has him in. He’s still grinning. 

‘It’s nothing more than what the betrayer's whelp deserves.’ The man laughs. ‘What General Melgrean should have given him six years ago!’

These words send an icy shiver of fear down my back. My gaze meets Liam’s and his eyes are wide, reflecting my own panic back at me.

Before anyone has time to ask for clarification an ear-splitting screech fills the air above us. When I turn back to the window I see Sgaeyl’s massive from passing overhead, flying towards the walls of the fort, her cry the unmistakable sound of rage.

‘Her rider is in trouble.’ Andarna says, confirming what I already know. I’m sure no-one around me needs their dragon to interpret that sound.

‘Fuck,’ Bodhi swears forcefully. 

‘It’s too late. You’ll never reach him in time.’ The guard says with glee. 'If he's not allready dead.'

While I keep facing the window I hear a dull thud, like a fist hitting flesh. If Bodhi silenced the guard with a blow I don’t blame him and I’m only grateful there will be no more of his laughter.

The Blue Dragon dives towards the fort, the soldiers on the battlements scatter. Those that don’t outrun her talons are caught up and thrown over the walls to their deaths. Those that do escape her die screaming in a blast of fire.

‘We have to do something.’ I say, glancing towards Bodhi who’s come back to my side at the window. He nods grimly.

‘Do what, exactly?’ calls another voice.

It’s Declan who’s spoken from where he’s been standing in the opposite end of the small room. I’d almost forgotten he was here.

‘What?’ I echo disbelievingly. ‘Xaden is in trouble, we have to help him, we have to try!’ I exclaim, my panic making my voice shrill to my own ears.

Behind me Liam puts his hand on my shoulder in support.

Declan looks a little surprised at the tone of my voice. ‘Riorson got himself into this mess. The way I see it, we are under no obligation to risk -’

‘Fucking coward!’ I yell, stepping forward and finding myself with a hand on the daggers at my thigh. ‘They are trying to murder him! You just want to stand there and let it happen?’

There is a mummer of agreement from behind me.

The executive officer’s eyes widen and fear flashes across his face as he steps back against the wall.

‘We are with you, Violet.’

I turn to face Bridget who gives me a determined look. 

‘Wield us in there and we’ll get him out.’ Bodhi agrees.

Imogen Soliel and Eya have all stepped closer and they look as determined and resolute as Bodhi and Liam. To my surprise it’s only Henderson who shakes his head and crosses to stand with Declan.
 
I nod at my squad with relief, because I was going anyway and I’d rather have them at my sides. I hold my arms out from my sides in a ‘T’ shape. Liam immediately places his hand on my right shoulder and after a second everyone else who’s coming with us steps forward to do the same.

Bodhi is the last to make contact and before he does he looks me in the eye. ‘When we are inside I want you to go and find him. Leave the guards to us, we will follow when we can.’

‘All right.’ I agree, my throat tight with tension.

Bodhi puts his hand on the space left for him at my shoulder and I wield. 

We arrive in the courtyard on the other side of the portcullis and for a second everything is still. The twenty or so infantry soldiers in the courtyard stare at the riders who have just arrived in their midst. Above us I hear the beat of dragon wings and Sgaeyl’s shadow temporarily blots out the shadows of the iron bars that criss-cross above us, keeping her from landing in the courtyard. Then as one everyone drops their hands from me and steps forward to attack.

‘Go Violet!’ Bodhi bellows and I run.

‘Ask Sgaeyl where Xaden is.’ I say to Andarna and I wield toward the spiral staircase I see at the side of the courtyard.

‘She says he is one floor up from the courtyard; in a large, long room without windows, at the far end of the keep from the portcullis.’ Andaran answers. ‘There are long tables and benches pushed against the walls.’

‘It sounds like the mess hall.’ I say, sprinting up the stairs.

I hear boots on the stairs behind me and as I reach a landing I spin to see an infantry guard in pursuit. She climbs up after me, sword in hand and hatred on her face. I don’t give much thought to it before I wield behind her and sink a dagger into her shoulder through the gap at the back of her armor. She screams and drops her sword, ducking down on her hands and knees on the stairs. I wield back to the top of the stairs and as she rises I aim one well-placed kick to her chest which sends her tumbling backwards down the stairs. 

Turning in the direction I think I should go, I wield to the end of the corridor and take the turn at a run. Up ahead is a set of closed double doors. I pray this is the mess hall and as I reach it I hear a soft click of the lock undoing in response to my runed dagger. I place my trembling hands on the latch and lift it. Over the pounding of blood in my ears, I hear a voice float to me as the door swings open.

‘What are you waiting for?’ It yells, ‘Our mission is to kill him!’

On the other side of the door momentum and panic carry me three steps forward before I process what I’m seeing and freeze in place.

The scene before me has an odd unreal appearance, and it’s not just because it seems posed before me like a drama on a stage.

Bodies in black are scattered across the floor, blood pooling around them. In the center of the room three figures stand with a fourth forced to his knees at the feet of the man in the middle.

Xaden’s eyes lock on me with dread and he struggles in his captor's hold. Behind him, with a knife held against Xaden’s throat and a look of sadistic pleasure on his face, stands Jack Barlowe.

The smirk on Jack’s face turns into a grin as he fixes his eyes on me. ‘I’ve been waiting for her.’ 

Chapter Text

I realized something was off as I first stepped into the room. Something other than seeing Xaden forced to his knees on the floor before Jack-Fucking-Barlowe.

The scene before me looks strange, almost flat and dreamlike.

‘Run Violet!’ Xaden yells, his voice sounding as ragged and disheveled as he looks. There are cuts and tears in his uniform - he’s bleeding from at least a dozen places and bruises on his face are turning purple. 

Why isn't he wielding?

With a click of his tongue Jack presses the knife more firmly into Xaden’s neck. ‘That’s enough out of you. She's not going anywhere, are you Sorrengail? Not when I have your lover at knife point.’

I see how it pains Xaden to comply, he presses his mouth into an unhappy line and anger and range vibrate in every limb of his body. His eyes are fixed on me pleadingly and I can almost hear what he’s trying to convey, he wants me to leave him and save myself.

But that’s not going to happen.

I scan the rest of the room quickly, looking for any other obstacles or threats and that’s when I realise what’s wrong; why everything has a flat and dreamlike appearance.

There is a bright light source at the far end of the room behind Xaden and his captors, it looks almost like a small miniature sun or a ball of fire, rather than a mage light. The people and objects before me should cast shadows across the floor, but none of them do. I look down at where my own boots meet stone and I see it's true of me too.

Xaden moves his head in the smallest of nods as I look at him in panic. He's not wielding because there are no shadows to wield.

‘What the hell is this, Barlowe?’ Asks one of the other cadets, looking uneasily from Jack to me. ‘We were sent to kill Riorson, not her.’

‘And we will! But first I’m going to have a little fun.’ Jack’s tone moves from irritated to gleeful as he turns his gaze back on me.

‘You don’t want to do this.’ I say weakly, casting around desperately for a way to get Xaden out of here. 

‘But I do. I’ve dreamt of this you see, of watching the light leave your pretty eyes as I squeeze the life out of you.’ Jack's tone to me is whistful, allmost tender.

Xaden struggles again in his grip at these words. 

Jack only laughs, pulling tightly on Xaden’s hair and tipping his head further back. ‘It will only be made sweeter by having you know your benefactor can’t save you because he’s already dead at your feet.’

I wonder if I can take Jack by surprise, grab Xaden and wield away before Jack had time to move his blade? Maybe wrench his hand away from Xaden’s throat before he realises - 

‘STOP!’ Jack screams.

I freeze, heart hammering. I must have taken a step forward without realizing.

‘Take one more step or try your little traveling trick and I will slit his pretty throat.’ Jack illustrates his point, pressing his knife firmly enough against Xaden’s skin that a drop of red wells up against the edge.

I watch the drop of blood travel down Xaden’s neck with dread. I desperately think of some way I can get us both out of this, but Jack is a hair’s breadth from taking Xaden’s life. I don’t think I can move quickly enough that he wouldn’t have the slit second he needs to move that blade.

‘Please.’ I whisper.

Jack cocks his head to the side. ‘What was that?’

I draw a ragged breath and feel a rush of guilt as I meet Xaden’s pleating gaze. He’s still begging me to run, to save myself. But I can’t. I can’t leave him here to die, the thought is too painful and I think fleetingly that I’d rather die myself than lose him. 

I speak the words more loudly. ‘Please, stop it. You can have me - but please let him go.’

The look on Jack’s face is almost pitiful. ‘Oh Sorrengail, you’re in no position to negotiate. See, you have absolutely nothing I want.’ His eyes travel down my body in a way that makes my skin crawl. 

Jack leans down so he can address his next words to Xaden. ‘I will admit I’m curious what it is about her that has you so… enthralled. But I can always find out for myself after she’s dead.’

Gods, I think I might be going to be sick.

With his eyes full of fire Xaden fights again to get out of Jack’s grasp. He raises both his hands to grab Jack’s wrist and strains. But it’s like he’s fighting against a statue and Jack’s arm doesn't even shake although Xaden is putting all his strength behind his effort.

‘Oh, that really upsets you doesn’t it?’ Jack observes lightly. ‘You must really care for her. I think maybe I’ll keep you alive after all, so you can watch. Alive, but not able to interfere.’

Jack’s hand moves as quick as lighting.

I grab my own daggers and wield. As Jack stabs Xaden in the chest I materialises before him with one blade already halfway through his neck.

There is just time for surprise to register on Jack’s face as I draw my dagger sideways, slicing his neck open. Jack staggers backwards and blood gushes from the cut I made.

I drop to my knees, my blades falling from my hands, and I catch Xaden’s shoulders as he pitches forwards. He clutches at where the dagger’s handle still protrudes from between his ribs and my eyes fall to the sight.

‘No-’ I whisper. A metallic taste fills my mouth and there is a rushing sound in my ears.

Jack stabbed him at the side, not near his heart and I cling to the hope that means I have a little time to get Xaden help.

Xaden looks at me and his lips move but I can’t hear what he’s saying. His eyes flash past my head and I realise there are still two people in this room who want him dead.

I move without thinking, on instinct alone. It’s like I’m in the weapons range and the Cadets are targets Xaden has set out for me. The first cadet is coming at us - his sword raised. I dispatch him quickly, first slicing low across his abdomen then drawing my dagger across his neck from behind as he falls to the ground. The other has enough sense to turn and start to run but I throw my bloody dagger and it hits him in the back of the neck. I don’t wait to see his body hit the floor.

Xaden is leaning forward on one shaking arm and I help him lower himself gently onto his back. He gasps my name.

‘Sssh, don’t try to speak.’ I stroke his hair off his forehead and try to assess what I can do. 

I help press my hand at the base of the dagger  to try and stop the bleeding. Based on the way Xaden is struggling to breathe I guess it’s pierced his lung. 

‘Violet - ’ Xaden gasps. ‘Kill him.’

Behind us Jack is still making horrible wet noises. I shake my head. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of a fast death.

‘It’s okay, He’ll die soon.’ I assure Xaden. ‘I sliced his throat, he’ll bleed out.’

Xaden grits his teeth and sweat beads on his forehead. He shakes his head. ‘No. Venin.’ He pants.

I reel back slightly in shock, searching Xaden’s face. His eyes are still lucid and he means what he said.

When I turn I see Jack dragging himself across the floor, leaving a long, red trail. He reaches a shaky hand out to the wall and when his fingers touch it it starts to change. The coloured flecks of minerals in the stone fade before my eyes.

I gasp outloud. He’s drawing magic from the wall.

My fingers find my alloy dagger, recognising the hum of magic even through the leather wrapped around the hilt to disguise it. I’m grateful Xaden has insisted we all carry them despite the risk.

On shaking feet I rise and step to Jack’s side.

As I reach him the patch of drained colour reaches the odd light on the wall and it flickers and starts to dim. I can hear that Jack’s breathing sounds less ragged now. Whatever that light is, it’s magic and that power is letting Jack heal himself.

Numbly, I watch myself stab him in the back. It’s like the hand at the end of my arm belongs to someone else. He gasps one last breath and drops to the floor, no-longer moving. I don’t want to dirty my hands by checking for a pulse.

I return to Xaden’s side and grasp his hand as he holds it out to me.

‘It’s done, he’s really dead.’ I assure Xaden.

There are footsteps in the corridor and the door crashes into the wall as it flies open. I only spare a second to see it’s our friends, Bodhi in the lead, before my eyes are back on Xaden’s.

‘Violet - I love you.’ Xaden says as he lifts his other hand to cup my cheek. The words hurt him and I can see he’s struggling to get the breath to say them.

‘No,’ I whisper, shaking my head in denial. ‘Don’t you dare say goodbye to me Xaden Riorson, I won’t let you.’

He looks past me at whoever is standing behind my shoulder. ‘Look. after. her.’

‘No! I’m saving you, I'm saving you!’ I try to yell but my words are sobs. ‘Just hold on for me until I can.’ I grip Xaden’s hand more tightly, like I can keep him with me by force of will alone.

‘He probably has minutes.’ Someone behind me says. I know I recognise the voice but I'm not sure who it is. I don’t dare look away from Xaden to check.

‘Basgiath is ten hours away.’

‘Shit, is there a mender closer?’

‘In the eastern wing, but it’s still hours of travel we don’t have.’

There is a mender closer. Closer than Basgiath and closer than the eastern border.

‘Brennan.’ I say out loud.

I jump as Bodhi puts his hand on my shoulder. ‘It’s still too far for us to fly, Vi.’ He whispers. ‘And Garrick is further still.’ I can hear the ragged edges of regret and pain in his voice.

‘I’ll take him.’ I say, glancing at Bodhi for a split second.

Bodhi blinks at me in shock. He knows as well as I do that Aretia is well outside my range. Shock turns into grim understanding and Bodhi nods.

‘Violet no- It’s too far. You can’t.’ Liam protests.  

I ignore my friend. He wouldn’t trade my life for Xaden’s but he is probably the only one in the room who feels that way.

‘Vi-’ Xaden tries to protest.

‘Shh. I told you already, I’m saving you.’ I remind him, pressing the tip of my finger gently to his lips. I stroke his cheek and take in the sight of his beautiful dark eyes one last time before I close mine and start to channel.

I open the door to Andarna’s power as wide as it will go and as golden light streams through me I reach for Aretia. I reach for the entrance hall of Riorson house. I feel it flicker just out of my reach and I strain to channel more. 

Heat pores through me, burning in my veins and bubbling under my skin as I draw more and more. It’s too much power - I feel my grip on it start to slip and strain to hold on.

‘You will burn out.’ Andarna warns. But she doesn't stop me.

My pain is hers, as hers is mine. I might die doing this, but I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t try.

Someone is screaming as I channel more power and I dimly realise it’s me.

I feel the power start to pull me apart as it searches for an outlet. I feel ligaments strain and muscles start to tear. Sweat pours off me and fire blooms across my skin as the energy thrashes within me.

I strain and strain, until at last the point I want is within reach. All of the maelstrom of power swirling inside me coalesces to a single, bright point in the darkness of my mind.

The floor under my knees changes from rough-cut granite to polished marble and my scream echoes off the walls as I open my eyes inside Riorson house.

Xaden’s hand has gone slack against my cheek and it drops to his side.

‘No!’ I yell hoarsely, fumbling for his pulse at his neck. I sag in relief when I feel it’s still there.

There are boots on the floor and people emerge from rooms and passages around me. I see a guard, a maid - others I can’t place -  and rushing towards me with his face pale in shock is my brother.

‘Violet!’

‘Brennan.’ I cry, ‘Please, help him!’

Brennan drops to the floor beside me and reaches a hand towards my face - concern and fear in his eyes. 

‘NO!’ I throw myself out of my Brother’s reach and scramble away. ‘Xaden, You have to save Xaden!’

Brennan looks like he wants to fight me on this, but then he looks at Xaden property and sees the knife still protruding from his chest. His face grim, Brennan sets his hands on Xaden’s chest and frowns in concentration. 

‘I’ll do what I can.’ He promises.

I sway where I’m kneeling, my body burning up and my every muscle utterly spent. It’s all I can do to not collapse into unconsciousness. I want to be back at Xaden’s side, I want to hold his hand but I can’t make my body move.

Around us voices erupt into anxious conversation, but I don’t take in anything beyond fragments I can’t piece together.

A strong but gentle hand cups my shoulder and I jump.

‘’So you’re the Distance Wielder.’ An old man with kind eyes above a snow white beard leans down beside me.

I look at him without understanding why he’s addressing me.

His dark skin crinkles around his eyes in concern. ‘Can you hear me?’

I nod slowly.

‘You’ve almost burnt yourself out.’ The man comments, looking at me with concern.

He stands and calls someone. I don’t pay attention to who - I simply go back to watching my brother saving the life of the man I love.

A moment later the man is back and a middle aged woman kneels next to him. I stare uncomprehendingly at her short brunette hair as she reaches to undo the buttons of my jacket without asking. I don’t really have the strength to protest so I sit numbly as she takes the jacket off me and the man drapes a wet cloth over my shoulders. 

The moisture seeps through my shirt and under my vest and I have to admit the coolness is soothing against my over-heated skin.

‘Here.’ The woman thrusts a cup into my hand.

I stare down at the cup and the liquid inside. It’s cool to the touch with condensation on the outside like it’s been stored in a coldroom.

‘Drink it.’ The woman prompts. ‘It will help you cool down, you are still dangerously warm.’

The liquid is sweet and tastes like cold chamomile tea. As I drink it my head starts to clear and I feel slightly more myself.

‘How did this happen?’ The old man asks me in his kind but gruff voice.

I swallow the last of my drink and try to speak, my voice sounding raspy from screaming. ‘It was a trap. Colonel Aetos set the task for Xaden as part of war games, but it was a trap designed especially for him. I don’t know how but he was blocked from wielding somehow.’ I shake my head at the memory. ‘They said their orders were to kill him.’

‘Who said that?’ He prompts gently. ‘Where are they now?’

‘Cadets, cadets from First Wing. Xaden killed most of them before they overpowered him. I killed the rest.’

The memory of sinking my dagger into Jack Barlowe comes back vividly and my head swims with sudden nausea. Gods, I killed them. I didn’t even know the names of the other two and I didn’t hesitate to kill them either. I lean forward, putting my head between my knees to fight throwing up on the floor of Xaden’s house.

‘Shh, it’s allright. You did what you had to do.’ the woman soothes, rubbing circles on my back. 

‘He’s safe now.’

My head jerks up to meet Brennan’s eyes. He’s removed the dagger from Xaden’s chest and is leaning back on his heels. There’s a tiered smile on his face as he rises and comes to squat before me on the floor.

‘He’ll live.’ Brennan promises, stroking my hair and leaning forward to press a kiss to my forehead.

‘He’ll live.’ I breathe, finnaly letting myself beleive it. 

I sob, all of my fear and relief rushing to the surface and demanding an outlet. I colapse, now that panic is no-longer holding me up and my brother gathers me into his arms. I put my head against his shoulder and close my eyes as I cry with relief.