Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

jett : HI GUYSSSS !!!!!!

jett : GUESS WHAT THIS GIRL GOT FOR HER ANNIVERSRY

phoenix : with yourself???

phoenix : mate that’s called a bloody birthday !!

jett : KYS PHOENIX

clove : urm ackshually he revive with his awesome super flame powers tm

neon : reading that message gave me a fking GRAMMATICAL HEADACHE

neon : KAYO COME GRAMMARLY THIS SHIT 🔥🔥🔥

phoenix : KINGDOM TOP WAR TECH TURNED ESSAY GRADER

killjoy : THAT IS SOME REGRESSION MANGA SHIT

clove : who needs grammar when you’re literally immortal 🦋🦋🦋

sova : does immortality really constitute strength?

fade : elaborate

sova : for example, even if clove had infinite lifespans, someone who’s far more skilled could constantly keep them unconscious or in some sort of similar state, or torture them infinitely

phoenix : mate wtf

fade : like constant nightmares?

sova : yes, or perhaps constant shock darts to the chest

sova : I’m sure they could survive, but what about their mental state?

clove : IM SCARED

sage : Come on sova…

jett : DONT WORRY BABYTHEM I GOTCHU

clove : THANKS WINDY ❤️❤️💙💙💜

omen : truly fascinating, sova.

jett : NVM MAYBE NOT AGAINST OMEN THANKS

clove : what 😨😨😨

gekko : 😬😬😬

yoru : yeah i would not

yoru : sucks to suck

gekko : sorry guys was giving wings a bath 👍👍👍

gekko : if anyone wants to smell him he smells like eucalyptus now !!

fade : ooooo

phoenix : first off why tf are we sniffing lil men

phoenix : second off no one messes with omen and sova together 😬😬😨😨

yoru : well you don’t have to make EVERYTHING pedophiliac phoenix

yoru : self projecting much

neon : PHOENIX IS A PEDO CONFIRMED 🤩

phoenix: STOP THESE ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW MATE !!

jett : that’s interesting and all but GUYS I GOT MYSELF THE MYSTBLOOM SKIN !!

raze : HELL YEAH HOW MUCH IN DEBT ARE YOU 🔥🔥🔥

jett : WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT 🔥🔥🔥🔥

gekko : wait that skin is FIRE tho like FUCK YEAH

reyna : she bought it on my card.

jett : ehe

phoenix : oi mate you could’ve js said you were broke !!!!!

gekko : nah nah nah you gotta take money when you can

reyna : i did not teach you this

reyna : but I am proud.

sage : That’s so sweet reyna. May I ask what the occasion was?

yoru : you cover up some bodies you get a reward

clove : YOOOOO WHY DO U KNOW

jett : YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW DID U KNOW

gekko : WOAHHHHHH JETTS HELPING OUT TOO NOW???

brimstone : excuse me, what.

clove : aye aye nothing to see here cap’n

brimstone : …

brimstone : well, congratulations on the new purchase, jett.

jett : THANKS DAD

brimstone : Kid, I am barely that old. Second of all, I’m assuming you’ve all looked at the mission briefings?

chamber : absolutely not, monsieur.

fade : it’s me, deadlock, omen, reyna, and iso for team one on Abyss at 15:00 sharp. 16:00 team on standby: jett, neon, sage, clove, and sova for ascent

yoru : chamber you better show up at the shooting range or expect a bullet in your brain.

yoru : we’re going again.

clove : AY YO

chamber : of course, i hope you are ready to miss.

killjoy : that’s cool and all but

raze : WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FIRST TEAM ????

jett : yay i get to ascent BUT WHAT THE HELL?????

phoenix : NIGHTMARE MATERIAL TYPE SHIT

raze : OMEN AND FADE IS LITERAL NIGHTMARES ??!! DEADLOCK AND REYNA IS PHYSICAL NIGHTMARES????

killjoy : poor iso

jett : guys we should get iso some free therapy sessions

deadlock : you’d be surprised

deadlock : he is quite the fearsome one, if i do say so myself

phoenix : LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FUCKING BLOODY FIRE

gekko : aww man i was looking forward to making obstacle courses for my buddies with iso too :(((

raze : EXACTLY

clove : HOW DARE YOU ALL TAINT HIM

yoru : real talk is iso still asleep

cypher : yes

yoru : …

yoru : cool.

jett : gimme five of those raised eyebrow emojis ?????? por favor???

raze : 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

jett : thanks pookie

killjoy : 🤨🤨🤨🤨🤨

jett : mb pooks :(

cypher : i promise you its just because i passed by his room

cypher : i totally didn’t set up any cameras whatsoever

omen : he’s embarrased to say iso found them on the first day and broke all of them.

sova : great input.

phoenix : wait

phoenix : CYPHER HAS CAMS IN OUR ROOMS?

kayo : he can see you “jerking” it every night

phoenix : HOLUP I SWEAR

jett : HHAHAHAHAHHAH

clove : HAHASHAJSJASHHAHAHAHA

gekko : HAHAHSJASHAJSHAJSAS

yoru : L

phoenix : fuck you all.

sage : please don’t.

neon : thats why he gotta do those “special things” in his room

jett : AHAHSAHSAHAHA

yoru : no flame no game

phoenix : I HAVE FLAME AND VERY MUCH GAME YOU ASSHOLES

raze : name one person you’ve been with for more than a week

phoenix : uhmmmmm

sage : ….

sage : this just feels depressing

cypher : i was hoping for more blackmail but all i find now is a sense of pity

killjoy : even the old man feels bad for you

fade : I’ve arrived in the vicinity of Iso’s room and i need assistance as to how to properly wake him up

jett : bang on his door

neon : i could electrocute him

yoru : i could barge into his room with multiple clones like the fking FBI

omen : alternatively, you could all let him get the sleep he so deserves.

omen : i could teleport him to the jet when it is time to leave.

fade : that sounds good.

cypher : he’s been sleeping for 21 hours straight

deadlock : and??

reyna : do you have a problem with that?

cypher : nope, absolutely not, have a great day

Chapter Text

deadlock, omen, reyna, fade, and iso registered.

server 1126 connecting...

connected. server secured. thank you for working with PROTOCOL.

deadlock : Is everyone in position? I have A site down, holding with Reyna. 

reyna : can confirm, the tower walls are very metal-ly. 

iso : sorry, this is going to sound really unprepared-like, but where is b-danger?

fade : right across from you iso - yeah, that ledge over there. 

iso : thank you. i'll be more aware next time. 

deadlock : no worries, we will always have your back. 

omen : I will tear apart those who stand in your way.

fade : oooookay, that's a little strong

reyna : i agree

fade : i'm a liar, that's not that strong. 

deadlock : i hear footsteps A!

omen : so loud, they ought to shut up. 

reyna : now now, be nice to these children, they don't know any better.

iso : "be nice" and you proceed to kill three of them, truly nice

reyna : i'm putting them to rest, lest their souls continue to suffer as omen decides to chase them around and rip them dead. 

omen : i would never do that.

fade : of course not - FUCK, i got shot, shit. 

deadlock : just sit back, we have a numbers advantage. anything on B?

iso : uhh no- nevermind i just got one, nevermind they're gone ?

iso : oh.

fade : hm?

iso : uhh.... they fell. 

reyna : you scared them off with your presence. 

iso : i'm not that scary, right?

fade : reyna

reyna : you're a good kid, iso, don't worry

deadlock : Great babysitting guys, but we still haven't located the last agent.

omen : babysitting?

omen : we are not babysitting anyone.

deadlock : iso?

iso : huh?

omen : ...

omen : i see.

fade : you're implying iso is a little baby. 

fade : i approve.

iso : I-

iso : I don't know how to feel about this.

reyna : you should be honored we are all looking out for you

iso : i'm grateful? ah, found the last one. 

omen : ...

omen : did you just knife him?

iso : sorry, is that not allowed?

deadlock : of course not. 

fade : hm. 

reyna : impressive. 

iso : thank you. 

deadlock : well done, all. 

omen : especially iso. 

iso : thank you, again. 

fade : you don't have to be so formal around us, you know?

iso : well, i just thought, since you all are my seniors...

reyna : seniors?? cariño, how old do you think we are?

iso : old.

deadlock : ... iso. 

omen : hm. 

iso : well, you're all old in relative to me. 

fade : i can feel the smile on his face.

reyna : well, you know, the teenage rebellious arc. 

reyna : we try our best.

iso : i'm not a teenager.

fade : if you want to call us old, you'll have to accept you're a child. 

iso : cruel. 

iso : omen....

omen : be nice. 

reyna : you dare omen?

omen : yes.

reyna : yes you do. damn. 

iso : :)

fade : oh how they grow up so fast

reyna : i'm fond of little children

deadlock : ...

deadlock : were we not talking about phoenix being a pedophile yesterday?

reyna : you know what i meant. 

deadlock : afraid i don't. 

fade : i'm so proud of you deadlock

reyna : how dare you teach her these things

fade : how dare i not?

omen : now you're both acting like children. 

omen : worse than iso. 

iso : omen ...

omen : you know when you get frustrated while you attempt to crochet. 

iso : it's not that bad.

omen : hm?

iso : i'll take you out for hotpot if you drop the allegations. 

omen : deal. 

reyna : is this bribery i see?

omen : fair trade. 

iso : my dignity was on the line :(

omen : ...

omen : i'm sorry iso. 

deadlock : this is very sweet and all but

deadlock : has anyone contacted headquarters to tell them we've finished?

reyna : ...

fade : ...

omen : ...

deadlock : ...

iso : i did

iso : 2 seconds ago. 

reyna : hey, it counts. 

fade : also, iso, you're taking us out for hotpot too

iso : the only person i'm paying for is omen

reyna : yeah fade, how could you extort the child?

iso : really?

reyna : sorry, it's funny. 

iso : mhm.

iso : i'm teleporting you to my domain and keeping you there. 

reyna : you wouldn't dare

iso : wanna bet?

reyna : yes. 

fade : oh shit he actually-

fade : AHHAAHAHAH

omen : hilarious

omen : we must commemorate this. 

deadlock : children. 

deadlock : you're all children.

deadlock : the ship has arrived. iso, release reyna. 

iso : only if she says sorry first. 

deadlock : ....

iso : fine. 

omen : why must you ruin the fun, deadlock. 

fade : guys i think viper is gonna shoot us if we don't get over there soon. 

iso : coming, coming. 

reyna : iso, you better sleep with one eye open tonight. 

iso : just try me. 

access code 1126...

approved.

approved.

this server will now be terminated. thank you for working with PROTOCOL. 

jett : GUYS THE NIGHTMARE FIVE WENT TO GET HOTPOT WITHOUT US

phoenix : WHAT

clove : WHAT

raze : WHAT

sage : hmph.

Chapter Text

the agents w/out physical broken backs

gekko : mi familia i am SO boredddd

gekko : wingman decided to walk around and leave me here aloneeee

gekko : i can't find him 😭

yoru : he got consumed by the rift, never to be seen again

phoenix : nah nah he ate my flames and got a stomach ache 

jett : BROS SITTING ON THE TOILET AT TACO BELL 

neon : he's doing my hair rn

gekko : guys im hearing very different stories and im fearing for his life

iso : wtf

iso : wingman is just chilling in my room w/ me

iso has sent wingmanmakingboba.jpg

gekko : WINGMAN IS MAKING BOBA?????

phoenix : MATE CAN WE HAVE SOME

jett : YALL COULD MAKE THAT SHIT???

yoru : ....

iso : yoru i see your teleport in my room

yoru : no you don't

neon : dashing there rn 

jett : ain't you at the range?????

neon : speedrunning 101

neon : i highkey did not know iso knew how to cook

iso : ....

iso : really?

jett : aye aye me too

iso : :/

jett : :D

yoru : i believed in you

iso : teleport now and you get the first serving. 

yoru : bet. 

jett : HEY

neon : :(

phoenix : aight mate what about me

gekko : me too

gekko : i want my buddy back

iso sent wingman_sitting_on_isos_hair.jpg

iso : i think your buddy likes me more

gekko : :((

iso : dw wingman is making a personalized cup for u

iso : or i am because wingman is struggling to fill up the cup

yoru : damn

yoru : its really good

yoru : i like the blueberry flavors

iso : thanks !

gekko : YALL MADE MATCHA CREAM FOR ME

gekko : i take back anything bad ive ever said about you

iso : good.

gekko : 😨

phoenix : mates what about meeeeee

iso : get over here then

phoenix : THANKS MATE

jett : isn't it ladies first iso 

neon : smh no respect

yoru : its gender equality

phoenix : and not biting the hand that feeds you

gekko : wow phoenix you're so smart

gekko : you're using fancy phrases !!

neon : AHASJASAS

jett : phoenix has finally grown up

phoenix : BUDDY NEON IS YOUNGER THAN ME 

iso : i think the mental maturity is something else

phoenix : BLUD

yoru : getting roasted by iso is something else

phoenix : :(

neon : iso im at your door

neon : please let me in

jett : ive been here for ages PLEASE

iso : apologize.

jett : ...

neon : ...

phoenix : damn iso's cruel

iso : you guys can finish it if they don't in the next ten seconds

jett : FORGIVE ME

neon : my humblest apologies, o great one

iso : the door was unlocked lol

jett : ....

iso : :)

jett : TvT

yoru : lowkey now that i look at it iso your room is really barren

yoru : looks like a dead man's parlour in here

neon : goddamn

neon : u letting it slide?

neon : GEKKO OML YOU GOOD

gekko : hehe

phoenix : mate can wingman even drink boba????

gekko : the balls are too big for him lololololol

phoenix : mate might be a reason he prefers iso over u

iso : :P

jett : MATES

phoenix : come onnnnn

jett : ok but fr fr mate like we should go on a shopping trip

jett : especially for iso

iso : if you pay i'll agree

jett : FR???

iso : :)

yoru : oh?

gekko : BET FR FR

iso : thank you for your generosity, han sunwoo

jett : no problem !!

neon : we head out rn rn 

phoenix : FR FR

gekko : guys is it js me or is iso saying jetts full name a LIL scary

phoenix : yes.

gekko : aight aight js checking

overworked parents and 20+ children

sage : ....

brimstone : ...

cypher : ....

sova : ....

viper : ....

reyna : 20k credits. 

fade : haha, thats the equivalent of her buying four ops. 

reyna : how on earth did you MANAGE to spend that much in one day, jett?

jett : I WAS HELD HOSTAGE I SWEAR

jett : I WAS WRONGED

sage : how so, and who did it?

sage : i'm not mad, i just want to know. 

cypher : oh she's mad...

brimstone : really?

sova : really?

jett : listen I

jett : okay

jett : i made a promise

jett : i told iso that if he agreed to go shopping with us i'd buy him whatever he wanted

sova : and you thought that was a good idea?

omen : it absolutely is. 

fade : i 100% agree, 10/10 choice

gekko : HELL YEAH

jett : GEKKO HELP

gekko : nuh uh

gekko : he bought wingman shit, he automatically gets my vote

iso : jett has bad choices

brimstone : you shouldn't instigate said choices either.

iso : kayo, brim's blaming things on me

KAY/O : brimstone...

brimstone : .... did you really pull the KAY/O card on me

killjoy : kayos obliged to be nice to iso, because iso threatened to tear apart his wiring if he didn't

sage : WHAT

iso : i did not

iso : accusations, i'm hearing

gekko : ISOS TOO NICE

gekko : he'd never do that

jett : NICE

jett : ISO IS NICE?????

jett : THIS MAN SPENT MY HARD EARNED FUNDS ON RANDOM TRINKETS AND CUSTOMIZED FURNITURE

jett : there was no need for your nightstand to be PURPLE

jett : THAT ALONE WAS AN EXTRA 1K

reyna : jett, respect the aestheics

jett : REYNA PLEASE

jett : RAZE

raze : nah man, agree with iso here

raze : COLOR THEMES

iso : thanks raze

clove : awww, poor jett

neon : shame

neon : i'll give u 2k of my savings

jett : thanks neon :,)

yoru : i'll give you -10k

jett : - ???

yoru : i'm taking your money.

yoru : stay broke

phoenix : AHASJHASHAHSHAHHA

sage : children these days

phoenix : IM 23 

brimstone : shut up. 

Chapter Text

killjoy : so I’ve come to a nasty realization

jett : that you’re a nerd?

neon : that you’re tech support?

cypher : that your tech will never be as sophisticated as mine?

cypher : sorry, little engineer.

clove : spill spill spill

killjoy : you’re all horrible

killjoy : anyways, if omen and reyna were to combine their radiant abilities, would that not make a ghost literally capable of stealing souls.

fade : ooooooooo

reyna : now that’s something I’d like to see.

gekko : YO THAT WOULD BE SIXK

deadlock : straight out of my nightmare novels, lovely.

cypher : radiant combinations is very, very fascinating….

cypher : say, neon and jett would become superspeed thunderstorms, no one could catch them! how fascinating!

neon : jett would still be slower than me

jett : WOULD NOT

neon : your ass got caught by my double I say shut yo ass up

jett : hey 💥! I only got caught cause I WASNT OVER 9000

fade : bro thinks she’s goku 🙏🙏🙏

yoru : this disrespect to goku

gekko : Omg it’s the balls anime

killjoy : HELP

gekko : but it is???? And it’s so good like the whole anime is about balls and balding and it’s so top tier

yoru : I’m going to shove a poisonous slug up your intestines

gekko : HELP PKEASE DONT I HAVE A WEAKNIMMUNE SYSTEM 👶👶👶

clove : WHY THE BABY EMOJI

neon : it’s the vibe

gekko : aye aye !!

clove : …

clove : ok anywaysss

clove : ay ay cyphie, combine me with someone !!

cypher : hmmm, sage and clove combined would make an immortal duelist thats also capable of infinitely reviving their teammates.

phoenix : infinite immortality !!!!!!

sage : that sounds….interesting.

sova : again, immortality is nothing if the opponent is incompetent.

omen : haha clove, i think sova’s out for you

fade : ooof, i would not like to deal with that.

deadlock : are we just going to ignore that omen woke up from his nap js to say that and then went back to sleep

reyna : yeah

neon : AHAHAAHHAH

phoenix : NIGHTMARE BLUNT AHAAHAh

clove : aw mannnnnnnn

gekko : issok wingman gotchu

clove : thanks !!!!!

jett : that’s cool and all but like guys the radiant ability distribution is so unfair like bruh I can create tornados and phoenix can commit elevated arson but why do assholes like yoru are js able to TEAR THROUGH SPACE?????????????????

yoru : cause I’m better

phoenix : bruv astra can create black holes u ain’t special mate

yoru : fuck off phenis

fade : is no one gonna tell them astra is not a radiant

jett : SHE WHAT

killjoy : the combined brain cells in the protocol is -2 🙏

neon : that includes you

killjoy : my massive ass brain gives like 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 and yall js somehow manage to take away more !!!!

sova : I’m pretty sure your homelander x biden wattpad fanfics are a greater cause of brain cell loss than anyone else is.

gekko : HELP WHAT ???????

gekko : stop wait I’ve seen that before

iso : someone get me 10 shot glasses of windex and bleach combined

yoru : on it

iso : thanks 😊

yoru : anytime 😊

fade : ??????

neon : homosexual homicide

jett : so real how do u do it

killjoy : okay but like

killjoy : help why do u even know that?????

sova : the bald one.

cypher : oopsies 😉

killjoy : I thought we had something cypher…..

gekko : me personally I would NOT want to have something to do with baldi’s basics

cypher : hey 🥲🥲🥲 I have some hair

fade : “some hair”

neon : 10/10 roast but we’re not ignoring the fact you’ve seen it before

gekko : neon if u drop it I won’t spill our DMs to this gc 😁

neon : yes sir 🫡

cypher : so let’s move on how about that !!

yoru : my turn, I’m curious.

cypher : hmmmm….you have dimensional abilities, and so does iso, no?

jett : WAIT PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE

jett : yk how when you get sucked into iso’s domain you literally cant use like any of ur abilities

jett : like bru i was fighting the other iso the other day on a mission and i DIED because i could not dash away from his big ass bullets

jett : like is that my fear kicking in or is that deadass he can lock down your abilities

iso : wanna find out?

iso : it’s you and me :) I’ll give you three

gekko : guys he’s so cool he made a fire ass rhyme

phoenix : BRUV

jett : AW HELL NO GET AWAY FROM ME

jett : IM RUNNING IM RUNNING IM RUNNING

iso : 3 seconds have passed

iso : bye bye :)

neon : ….

neon : i’m scared.

phoenix : i saw the big light thingy flood past my foot and i got SO terrified

iso has sent attachment: jett_passed_out_in_iso’s_domain.jpg

phoenix : GADDAMN BRUH WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER

phoenix : SHE LOOKS DEAD

iso : if i actually killed her sage would’ve thrown me off shanxi peak

sage : yes, yes i would’ve. you would survive though.

iso : i’ll pull you down with me

neon : AHAHAAHAHHhh

sage : you can try. let us see who survives then.

iso : bet.

deadlock : sage, you are beyond fighting with the little ones.

brimstone : I think it’s pretty justified here

reyna : respectfully as much as I dislike Jett are you guys going to ignore her passed out in iso’s domain or-

jett : I appreciate the care Reyna 🥲

reyna : nvm go back to arguing

jett : aw shit

phoenix : sooooo, what art thou test results young lass

jett : gang I couldn’t tell you he shot my shoulder immediately

neon : unsuccessful, as expected

gekko : real real

jett : thanks for the love guys !!!!!

cypher : the answer is yes, he can lock down your abilities

clove : hang on, you KNEW and you decided to let my pookie still suffer in the domain?????

cypher : it was getting boring around here

yoru : I agree

jett : FUCK OFFF

breach : the only reason he knows is because he got his shit absolutely rocked by iso during one of the training sessions

brimstone : shut the hell up breach

cypher : thanks brim 🥹

brimstone : no, I just wanted to tell breach to shut up

cypher : aw man :(

breach : kill yourself

fade : @sage the grandpas are back at it again

sage : sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound the plane flying to the mountains

neon : DAMN okay she actually did it

killjoy : iso shoved her off the plane 😭😭😭

jett : AHAJAJAHAJAJSKSJDHJDJDJD

phoenix : NO FUCKING WAY MATE

iso : she’s alive :)

sage : iso i will poison your broth the next time we have hotpot together.

iso : worth it.

Chapter Text

who let cypher live in jakarta?????

fade : quick intervention guys but are centaurs insects

sova : no.

omen : they technically have six limbs

reyna : and so do you, but you don’t see us calling you an insect do you?

omen : you do Reyna. You do.

reyna : I call you a cockroach, that’s different

gekko : are cockaroaches insects

fade has sent an attachment:

cockroaches_are_indeed_insects.jpg

deadlock : seems about right

omen : i do not look like that.

jett : yeah !!

jett : since when did omen have 6 limbs ?????

neon : since now ig ????????????

sova : he would have to be an asian cockroach

yoru : that’s kinda racist

skye : no because those mfs can fly

gekko : cockroaches can FUCKING FLY???

brimstone : i thought those were myths

breach : youre so fucking stupid

brimstone : i hope a flying cockroach flies up your ass

clove : thats so gross.

phoenix : what the fuck

omen : it also implies i’m asian

reyna : show your face coward

omen : my face encompasses scars beyond the worldly dimensional realms your mere mind cannot understand.

phoenix : mates I think the iq in this convo is too high for us

clove : us????

neon : us????

gekko : us?????

jett : us???????

yoru : us?????????

skye : they knew who they were

clove : he isn’t wrong but yk

jett : it hurts 🥲🥲🥲

omen : hush.

deadlock : okay but back to the main point

deadlock : cockroaches can’t be centaurs

sova : centaurs aren’t arthropods

kayo : centaurs are mythical. They could be and we don’t know

chamber : the toaster has a point

fade : aren’t they supposed to be a horse and man combined

iso : yeah but yk how in games you can combine a random branch and a dead rat and somehow you get a mythical tier fish

gekko : VOUCH

gekko : iso why are you so smart <3

neon : why the fuck are you so WHIPPED

yoru : god the weight of the cringe is suffocating gekko

gekko : yoru i will spill your deepest, darkest secrets

yoru : dizzy likes me too much for you to do that

gekko : FUCK

phoenix : what is this mad secrecy i hear

jett : SPILL

gekko : NUH UH

gekko : breach help me out

breach : what even defines a horse anyways

clove : bro actually helped thats crazy

harbor : you sure eat like a horse breach

breach : i get enough shit from old man number 1 you fucker

brimstone : excuse me?

reyna : is harbor old man number 2?

breach : nah, that’s cypher

cypher : breach, breach, breach

yoru : haha breach your mom

phoenix : ABHSJKALSAS MATE

phoenix : you finna get touched by the real old men

yoru : slow it p diddy

gekko : the initials match

jett : OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

phoenix : NUH UH

fade : so are centaurs insects or not

sova : no

reyna : omen is a cockrach, so yes

deadlock : omen is a centaur???

omen : i will tear you into pieces

jett : i got popcorn

neon : BET

21:39

sage : oh my god, are they at it again?

skye : unfortunately….

sage : ….

SINGLE and in DESPERATE NEED to MINGLE

gekko : gang on a scale of 1-10 how fucking obvious was I in the gc

neon : 16

yoru : 21

gekko : FUCK

neon : bro you’re so desperate it’s actually pitiful

neon : you literally SCOUR for every ounce of affection and attention you can get from iso 😭

gekko : I CANT HELP IT WHAT DO I DO

neon : that’s so real tho I need jett so bad 🙏

yoru : but at least you ain’t drooling like a dog in front of everyone

neon : yeah only to yall cause if anyone else sees this side of me I might end it

neon : but gekko i think the worst part was iso js wrote that response and hopped off bro he didn’t even reply to u 😭

yoru : unfortunate unfortunately

gekko : when he won’t even look my way

yoru : I mean at least yall are like good friends yk yk

neon : you say that cause you and phoenix are FUCKED

yoru : not as fucked as the way gekko DROOLS over iso

gekko : you CANNOT be talking like that  yoru like we KNOW how ur ass talks about phoenix

yoru : but no one else does and yall are gonna keep it that way.

yoru : gekko you are the most obvious simp out here get it together

gekko : but what if i want him to know

gekko : like at this point im getting so desperate and hes getting more oblivious like uhm

neon : i feel you bro

yoru : if i ever hinted shit no one would let me live it down

gekko : cause youre all serious and shit

yoru : i know

yoru :

neon : one day maybe they’ll see our struggles and love :D

gekko : we be praying out here

gekko : sjaksdfasdkflsdf

gekko : omg speaking of prayers yk the other day my sister was asking to “visit my workplace” and my ass could not figure out how to explain i got a job killing people and my id and location is top secret

yoru : how tf is that related to prayers

gekko : idk bro i js need prayers in LIFE

neon : SO REAL like this shit isn’t worth it

gekko : omg guys do you think iso would go to LA with me

neon : let’s be real that guy only goes out for three reasons and the first one is killing and the second one is training for killing and the third reason is hotpot

neon : you have tastes for a literal weapon who likes cooking raw meat

gekko : haters gon HATE yall are js mad that i can actually talk to my crush normally while yall have to fight for their attention

yoru : KILL YOURSELF

neon : what if im into that

gekko : ew take that elsewhere

yoru : gekko you also clearly haven’t seen tomorrow’s mission updates have you

yoru : cause I just did and if u did you would be (s)creaming

neon : now who’s gross

gekko : kys what’s up

yoru has sent attachment:

sunset_mission_brief xx_x_xxxx.png

gekko : OH MY FKING GOD

gekko : am i actually going to lose iso to deadlock bruh why does she get to go on missions with that man it’s not fair

neon : AHAHAHSHA

neon : it’s so funny you went from “man i want deadlock to like me” to “FUCK OFF BITCH” in the span of two months

gekko : I DONT GET IR SHES ALWAYS HANFINF AROUND HIMMMMM

gekko : AND HELP ITS JUST THAT ENTIRE GROUP GOING AGAIN TGOUGH LIKE ISO IS SO CHILL W/ EM

gekko : why not me :(

yoru : what about us fr fr

yoru : unlike you i have a date with my man at 10 for a killing spree except he doesn’t know it’s a date and we’re probs gonna compete for kills again

yoru : but at least I’m in his general vicinity for 3+ hours

neon : i’m going shopping with jett

yoru : and killjoy and raze

neon : but its like a double date if you think about it because you KNOW kj and raze r gonna make out in some fitting room

yoru : youre right i see it

gekko : what did I do wrong :(

gekko : why is my man literally and metaphorically untouchable.

yoru : you picked a bulletproof man idk what to say to you

gekko : :,)

gekko : maybe it’s the watt pad slow burn

neon : never say those words to me ever again.

neon : the way my inner 2016 cringed at that

neon : absolutely disgusting

yoru : jokes on you i never had to read those

gekko : well not all of us could be privileged bitches like you yoru !!!!!!!!!!

04:22

gekko : update: I woke up and went to get breakfast and saw him frying eggs while listening to music.

gekko : how the fuck does a man look so attractive pouring soy sauce.

08:02

neon : what the fuck

neon : I’m going back to sleep.

9:32

yoru : going on a date with my man

yoru : sunset mission is in one hour gekko

gekko : kys

Chapter Text

deadlock, omen, KAY/O, reyna and iso registered…

server 1114 connecting…

connected. server secured thank you for working with PROTOCOL.

deadlock : hello there. ah, pleased to be on a mission with you again, iso.

reyna : and not me? so cruel.

deadlock : well, you are more feared than pleasing.

iso : damn, take that.

reyna : so cruel how the children are so disrepectful. hey, omen, teach them better.

omen : what did i do?!

deadlock : not pay attention.

omen : excuse me, I carved out a soul that was attacking you. you should be grateful.

kay/o : could you stop using vocabulary like “carving out a soul?” my processors detect a victorian vampire every single time you say that.

reyna : do your processors distinguish us by speaking styles

kay/o : well, I store your messages in order to process them, and after some point the way you all speak is so distinguishable my processor does it on its own.

deadlock : you know, I’m being shot next to a boba shop and as fascinated as I am with this conversation-

iso : haha, “fascinated”. shut up, this is interesting.

deadlock : okay iso.

reyna : aw children, don’t fight, you have plenty of opponents here!

kay/o : my systems are detecting: patronization

reyna : how’d you know

omen : shut the fuck up, both of you.

iso : wow the adults are fighting, deadlock.

deadlock : i am an adult

iso : oh no, if I’m a child so are you.

omen : this is a horrible argument, can we get back to the fact the spike’s been planted?

reyna : such a shame. If we had gekko’s wingman we could’ve defused it in the time we were arguing

iso : wingman for the win!

kay/o : my sensors are detecting too many traces of gekko-talk

deadlock : gekko talk? Like?

kay/o : “rizz”, “bet”, “cap”, “broski”, “gyattdam”, “brainrot”

omen : ….

omen : you still think my Victorian speak is bad?

iso : yeah :)

iso : isn’t it charming to have such youthful language?

reyna : right?

deadlock : we’re about to be some pretty youthful looking atoms if we don’t defuse the fucking spike and kill them all.

omen : fortunately, I have the capability of speaking and acting at the same time. A strange concept, isn’t it?

omen : four dead, only one to go. i assume it’s the enemy deadlock.

iso : wow such a shame

iso : that’s my kill, by the way.

deadlock : what do you have against me?

kay/o : from the six headshots and the unnecessary kick to the gut, i’d say quite a bit

omen : i thought robots weren’t supposed to have sarcasm built in as a function. seems you’re more advanced than i thought

kay/o : and i thought ghosts weren’t capable of cognitive function.

deadlock : ….

deadlock : can we go back?

reyna : that’s probably smart.

access code 1114…

approved.

approved.

this server will now be terminated. thank you for working with PROTOCOL.

purple child

reyna : i see you are smiling

iso : no you don’t.

reyna : did gekko send you a photo?

iso : ….

iso : he’s painting with harbor and astra.

iso : it’s a pretty painting

reyna : you mean it’s a pretty man.

iso : :)

reyna : uh huh.

SINGLE and in DESPERATE NEED to MINGLE

13:22

yoru : i beat phoenix 30-29.

yoru : after tying for eight rounds.

gekko : my mans js replied to a pic of my painting of wingman as “sensational”

gekko : excuse me while i go DIE in the corner oml

gekko : my heart

yoru : this is so funny

yoru : u sure he wasn’t being sarcastic

gekko : iso would never >:(

yoru : you’re so delusional it actually hurts

yoru : kidding i hope it does well

gekko : thanks yoru 🥹

rifty drifty 

phoenix : mate any chance ya could lend me one of ur knives

yoru : why

phoenix : important reasons

yoru : such as?

phoenix : reasons beyond your human comprehension

yoru : i’m radiant

phoenix : reasons beyond radiant comprehension

yoru : in what scenario

phoenix : uh…research purposes

yoru : yk most ppl say that after implying something sexual

yoru : if ur gonna shove my knives up ur ass don’t think about it

phoenix : MATE WHAT

phoenix : that shit would hurt

yoru : exactly like why would you do that phoenix

yoru : absolutely horrible

phoenix : i’m not gonna

yoru : truly shameful

phoenix : nah i won’t

yoru : unfortunate

phoenix : BLOODY FKING HELL OKAY FUCK I WAS DARED AIGHT?

yoru : crazy

yoru : getting a lil defensive

yoru : i’ll take it my previous point still stands

phoenix : choke yourself istg

phoenix : on the bloody fking QUEEN raze said u would give me ur knives

phoenix : which u never do to anyone

yoru : why u lmfao

yoru : can u even knife

phoenix : i probs have more knife kills than u ass

yoru : okay buddy

yoru : but why my knives

phoenix : that’s what i’m saying bruv

phoenix : oml im gonna go crash out 🙏

yoru : the gekko speak is actually crazy

yoru : i can just hear it in the british accent

phoenix : MY ACCENT ISNTBAD

yoru : never said it was

yoru : it’s just *refined*

phoenix : UHM

phoenix : this has got to be some next level insulting

yoru : well that’s just fine and dandy

phoenix : WE DONT ACTUALLY SAY THAT

yoru : oh i reckon

phoenix : MATE THATS AUSSIE SPEAK

yoru : damn mb

absolutely done for ??

phoenix : yeah guys i can’t come up with this shit i managed to text yoru for more than 20 lines

raze : HELL YEAHHHHG

raze : where my knives at tho

phoenix : unfortunately i am not anywhere near that level of close yet

raze : nooooooooooo

fade : this is so funny when raze is probably laughing cause she has a gf

phoenix : the sadness hits hard

jett : it’s okay one day maybe

jett : still why would u go for him LMFAO

clove : lets not partner shame jett !!!

phoenix : thanks clove

clove : not everyone likes men and that’s okay !!

raze : AHAHSHAHAHAH

raze : BACKHANDED

jett : clove why are you so wise

phoenix : i hope neon sees you for the furry you are

jett : SHIT WAS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

jett : phoenix if you SNITCH

phoenix : TRY ME BITCH

phoenix : imagine neon finds out u were secretly a parrot in middle school

jett : ITS NOT A PARROT OML

phoenix : but you sure YAP like one

phoenix : talk to me when you can talk to neon coberently

phoenix : and NOT over text or battle

jett : throw ur self off a bridge.

raze : this convo is too single for me

raze : have fun !’

Chapter Text

absolutely done for ??

jett : god sometimes i think i should be a model with how gorgeous these clothes look on me

raze : real talk jett your commerical appeal is negative.

clove : and its the lesbian talking so you know its negative negative

jett : she said commercial appeal cause she KNOWS im for the high fashion girlies trust

raze : EXACTLY

clove : sure……

clove : but you don’t have nearly enough drip

jett : clove you dress like a kindy garten shhhhh

clove : nah bro i got COLOR and this is called MY PUNK

clove : you wear a desaturated ass bodysuit you cannot be talking

clove : you scared of dying?

jett : woah there

jett : that’s personal.

jett : i feel very not safe here

clove : im sorry bbg ill be nicer next time

jett : i won’t

jett : at least i got MULTIPLE outfits and im dripped out in street fashion

clove : not EVERYONE IS OBSESSED WITH STREET FASHION

phoenix : but i am

phoenix : can’t lie gotta take jett’s side on this

jett : fr???

jett : you like my fits???

phoenix : nah cuh i like YORU’s fits

phoenix : bro i would pay unholy amounts of money to see that guy in his weekend fits every day like

phoenix : every single one of his graphic jackets makes him look so crispy

phoenix : he should give me one of those dog tags i swear

phoenix : i’d wear it everyday

clove : bro.

fade : have you heard of shame.

jett : fuck off mates

jett : nah bruh i understand you 100%

jett : if neon pulled up in full street style clothing i think i might send myself to jesus early

jett : i already witnessed her in a tracksuit and was LEAKING

phoenix : real.

fade : yall i

fade : what do i respond to this

clove : you don’t.

raze : you dont relate because u already have a gf

jett : KILL YOURSELF

raze : HAHAHAHA

fade : ykw whatever makes ur lil asses happy ig

raze : hi im back whats up

raze : oh wait fr fr street fashion is so good

raze : the only fashion jett can pull off

jett : HEY

jett : yall suck

jett : but not as bad as iso yet

clove : sorry ive been like mentally MIA what the fk happened between u and iso like

clove : dude is so happy go lucky chillin his life off and ur out here actually tryna kill him

fade : jett got lovingly exorted by iso on multiple occasions

fade : she’s always an unfortunate victim in iso’s blindingly-obvious schemes.

phoenix : lmfao i think the most recent one was when iso straight up just stole her gun skins and she literally thought the omega version of her’s took it

jett : what are these allegations

clove : nah i believe this shit you can pull this off

jett : THERE IS NOTHING TO BELIEVE IN

jett : iso is an ass

jett : he’s so poopy woopy

jett : i dont even understand why gekko likes him

clove : gekko is so bad at hiding it i swear

clove : i asked him why he’s happy he told me “no nothing” and immediately went to texting iso in front of me

clove : it’s like he wants everyone to know atp

phoenix : he’s so like me fr

phoenix : we’re even talking the same now

phoenix : someone tell yoru i lov ehim for me

raze : do that shit yourself

raze : you picked the prickliest one to be your partner idk what ur expecting LOL

jett : AHAHHAHAHAH

phoenix : stop this isnt funny

fade : k love the insults but off topic (somewhat idk)

raze : love the insults is absolutely wild but go on

fade : yk like those tier lists memes like we should have one for the fashion capabilities of valorant

clove : oh my god YES 1000x YES

clove : lemme go first

clove : brimstone has american country unc fashoin

phoenix : YESSSS

jett : OOO

jett : breach dresses in prison unc fashion

raze : AND  harbor dresses in rich indian unc fashion

fade : cypher finishes off the line with the pervert unc fashion

jett : AHAAHHAHAHHAHAHAH

raze : PERV

clove : THIS IS SO PEAK

phoenix : YESSS And w/ that the unc line is COMPLETE

fade : not yall forgetting TEJO

raze : ah shit my colombian cocaine unc

raze : i mean his casual clothes r his fight clothes idk what to say

jett : REAL

phoenix : dude is the epitome of fight club

raze : now we gotta do the AUNTIES

clove : mommy reyna fr

phoenix : ERMMMM more like torturer !!!!!

fade : masochist clove

clove : HEY WTF

jett : LOLOLOLOL

jett : okay wait reyna dresses so businessswoman boss core

fade : did u js repeat the same shit twice

jett : it’s called getting the point across

phoenix : i think the stupidity overpowers ur point all the time

jett : stfu

phoenix : okay mate

raze : viper dresses like reyna too

raze : omg and sage is pure elegance

raze : don’t care what she wears gang

jett : real no one can diss sage cause she always be looking lovely

jett : okay speedrun

jett : idk what vyse is doing but imma say she looks good so i dont die

phoenix : facts

phoenix : yoru’s hot idk that streetwear makes me wet

clove : have you heard of shame

jett : i would agree but thats my opinion on neon and thus i cannot agree

clove : the simping is entertaining and disgusting at the same time

raze : the gayness

raze : so real clove

jett : respectfully kj is sometimes not cooking w/ those saturated ass sweaters

fade : bro your room is about to be chernobyl i suggest u shut up LOL

raze : aw thanks fade

clove : oki doki moving ONNNN

jett : thanks pookie

clove : gekko is peak gen z fashion in a good way

clove : omg and he pairs so well w/ iso i swear that purple and green work WAYYYY too well

clove : tho iso needs to expand his fits fr

phoenix : its cause they’re so GAY

phoenix : i need my man to MAN UP AND CONFESS

fade : #thatonetimegekkomatchedhissweatertoiso’s

jett : NO WAYYYYY

jett : shit i thought that was js coincidence

raze : also phoenix u cannot be speaking you need to man up to yrou

phoenix : wait i need to get to the talking stage first

fade : get there then

fade : okay wait what else do we got

clove : deadlock, sova, waylay, skye, astra

clove : kayo doesnt count cause he’s a robot

phoenix : he’s perpetually naked

jett : AHAHHAHAHAH

raze : NAWWWWWWWW

fade : you guys r so weird wtf

clove : :D

clove : okay SPEED SPEED round

clove : deadlock is russia

phoenix : wrong country

clove : sova is russia pt 2

clove : skye is my hiking aesthetic bb

clove : waylay is biker core

clove : and astra is literally. from outerspace so idk

raze : YAY

jett : HIP HIP HOORAYYYY

fade : nice

phoenix : guys we’ve cooked so hard

phoenix : we burned the house down

jett : RAHHHHHHHHH

jett : but back to my main point >:(

jett : i look gorgeous

phoenix : ask neon that

jett : NAH

phoenix : DUMBASS

(Unnamed groupchat)

chamber : I must say, this new suit is not my taste. I cannot tell if Tejo understands the tastes of colombian refinement or he just enjoys acting like a mafioso.

tejo : i’m in this message group, you know.

chamber : i’m well aware.

tejo : have you ever thought that maybe your pompous french behavior wastes away your gun skills?

viper : it’s painful enough having the little kids argue in the big chat, can we at least try to maintain a sense of maturity here?

brimstone : well said, well said.

omen : and brimstone comes to clap it up, how enteraining.

kay/o : my victorian speech buzzers are overloading, would you shut up omen?

sage : what.

reyna : basically, on the last mission, kay/o said he registers all our spech styles in his code and omen’s is specifically saved as a victorian vampire

kay/o : correction, i dont even have to save it.

omen : kay/o, i will ask iso to de-wire you.

reyna : hey, why is iso the threat here, do it yourself.

omen : i hate having engine oil on me

kay/o : well victorian vampire, my technology is beyond engine oil. i run on pure electricity and killing sprees.

brimstone : kay/o, your jokes are cold.

kay/o : sorry liam.

chamber : this chat is so suffocating. you all speak so formally.

viper : you should blame good ol’ liam for ever making this chat.

brimstone : I don’t even remember why I created this, continue.

reyna : well, with what viper said earlier, this is for the “adults” of valorant, i suppose.

reyna : though, i suppose cypher had to be kicked for attempting to hack this chat so many times.

omen : i vote we kick kay/o, he’s a robot.

kay/o : i vote we kick the eldritch monster.

tejo : you guys also kick breach routinely

sage : that’s brimstone, not me.

brimstone : he deserves it.

chamber : didn’t you try to add vyse?

sage : you know how she is, she wouldn’t join this groupchat even if you begged her in a million years.

tejo : have you tried?

sage : i managed to add omen, it’s your turn.

tejo : get viper to try. she has history with vyse.

viper : too much work. i already have to deal with all of you.

omen : why am I being used as a bargaining chip.

sage : why don’t you try it yourself, bold one.

viper : sage you sound so patronizing, that’s very attractive.

kay/o : is this the millenial equivalent of gekko’s “thats fucking hot”

reyna : no, its fancy scientist viper speak and its very, very patronizing.

reyna : be sure to record that

kay/o : will do.

viper : fuck you.

omen : i second that.

kay/o : omen, would you like leaked footage of you knitting 8 squishy cats for iso in this groupchat?

omen : i hate you.

chamber : amusing, for iso?

sage : omen sees him as his ward. it’s quite hilarious, he’s always taking care of iso like a brother.

omen : i feel utterly humiliated.

brimstone : hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. its good to see you caring about someone.

kay/o : you’re supposed to agree with me.

omen : someone tell this overgrown toaster to shut up

chamber : toasters broken !

tejo : shut the fuck up chamber.

reyna : what is this crassness i hear

reyna : how dare you

tejo : viper swore two seconds ago

reyna : respectfully, i’m more scared of lethal poison than grenades.

brimstone : too much experience with raze

brimstene : she still sets the record for the worst initation ritual. on her very first day, she blows up the orientation hall and manages to blow up 6k worth of grenades.

chamber : such expenses, she knows how to spend!

sage : don’t even get us started on your expensive lifestyle, chamber. If i have to read about your finances again I might truly shoot myself.

Chapter Text

who let cypher live in jakarta ????

13:24

gekko : so i recently went home right

gekko : i forgot how happy and loud it is at home

gekko : like don’t get me wrong i love it there but like damn

gekko : i think im too used to depressing loudness than happy loudness

jett : this is so real gen z speak

viper : this speak disgusts me

gekko : hey :(((

phoenix : ya gotta understand the culture mate

phoenix : look at tejo

phoenix : he aint disgusted

tejo : cause i’m cooler than these old hags

viper : do you want to die?

clove : aye

brimstone : a cultural headache

jett : okay old man

iso : all i know is the “skibidi” stuff that’s recently popped up on my insta feed

iso : gekko seems to like a lot of those

yoru : NAHHHHHH

yoru : never thought i would live to see iso type that cursed word

gekko : STOP ITS FUNNY

neon : respectuflly gekko your instagram reels make me want to willingly enter chamber’s room

chamber : well that’s rather mean, neon. i even made your suit for you!

sage : chamber, she’s a minor.

chamber : i haven’t even done anything!

phoenix : yall cannot be calling me p diddy when this man exists

fade : chamber aint p diddy he’s straight up jeffery dahmer

jett : neon pookie come here ill protect you <3

neon : :D

clove : NAHHHHH

chamber : excuse me?

reyna : it makes sense why he’s after yoru all the time

tejo : and gekko

harbor : oh my

harbor : and phoenix

chamber : i am not.

yoru : oh my god that’s gross

yoru : iso put a bullet through my head will you?

iso : gladly.

iso : exploding or not?

yoru : painless, preferably.

iso : exploding it is.

iso : bye bye!

sage : ….

skye : ….

fade : ….

deadlock : ….

brimstone : ….

jett : guys this is awkward

yoru : you FUCK IM LITERALLY SMACK DAB IN THE MIDDLE OF JAPAN AND YOURE STILL AT BASE

yoru : HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MANAGE TO SHOOT ME

iso : shame it didn’t kill you :(

phoenix : what is this hatred

phoenix : did some shit happen between yall and why don’t we know

reyna : in the words of omen: “what great darkness has enveloped these two’s souls”

omen : i did not say that.

reyna : you were going to.

omen : end your life.

gekko : js say kys omen trust

neon : teaching omen kys is crazy

tejo : keep yourself safe guys

phoenix : tejo i fucking love you

phoenix : marry me

tejo : i am not chamber

chamber : are we serious?

sage : iso where are you going.

yoru : aw fuck no get away from me you bastard

clove : GANG I NEED ANSWERS WHAT HAPPENED

gekko : SPEAK YOUR TRUTHHHHH

sova : i have developed a morbid fascination in the possible drama between these two.

jett : :0

phoenix : :0

skye : :0

reyna : :0

clove : :0

gekko : :0

fade : okay yall so the king has spoken and we must answer.

fade : confess

yoru : id love to but im currently on the run from a one man hunt

iso : you could also just not run

yoru : kill yourself

iso : no thanks :)

omen : iso.

iso : okay so that’s unfair

yoru : thanks omen :)

iso : :(

omen : i’ll get you boba iso

gekko : no way i want boba too !!

iso : omen, you have enough money

omen : …fine.

gekko : :0

jett : NO WAY ME TOO

phoenix : well count me in we going for some TEA lads

neon : lmfao poor gekko

clove : ?????

yoru : AHAHAHAH

yoru : sign me up too then

phoenix : i’m gonna order extra hot tea and spill it on ur dick

yoru : you’re gonna be licking that shit clean

chamber : oh. my. god. please take your horrific sexual tension elsewhere

tejo : if you disgusted chamber you’re on another level. that’s impressive.

chamber : and pray tell, why am I the benchmark

neon : what better than jeffery dahmer as the benchmark for sexual tension

clove : raid his room rn

clove : where r the little boys

harbor : chamber, I didn’t know you were like this

skye : AHAHAHAHA

killjoy : oh my god we should assign crimes to each agent

killjoy : like the “what would they be in jail for”

cypher : ooo whats happening

skye : go back to taking your shit cypher

cypher : hey :(

cypher : my bad that spicy hot pot was too good

fade : you know killjoy spiked your bowl with laxatives

cypher : WHAT

killjoy : HUH??

raze : nah that was just me

killjoy : awwwww

jett : I-

jett : i don’t think that is “sweet”

skye : young love

killjoy : okay fuck the old man being here I still wanna do that crime thing

cypher : OOOO okay im sat

neon : i-i dont think you know what that means

fade : no way you’re stuttering in text

fade : that is embarrasing.

neon : FUCK OFF

cypher : settle down kiddos

cypher : lets start with the people who physically cannot commit crimes: none!

cypher : because we’re all technically criminals in protocol !!

clove : old man #1?

cypher : oooo, brimmy would definitely be arrested for something anyone else did

brimstone : so technically, I didn’t commit the crime.

tejo : you commited the crime of knowing us in the first place

neon : all children here are trigger happy to blow stuff up

neon : including me !!!

raze : but it matters what you would be actually convicted for aye

fade : you kinda right

fade : phoenix would be convicted for arson

fade : low hanging fruit but its tasty fruit

viper : that sounds wrong coming from you

fade : what?

clove : sage would be convicted of…murder of iso?

skye : AHAHHA

sova : I agree

reyna : she’s got a point there

reyna : sova would be convicted of illegal hunting

sova : no i would not.

reyna : you know you can’t hunt in america without a license?

sova : …

reyna : thought so

sova : at least I am not a serial killer of humans, reyna.

clove : OOOOOOOOOO

neon : OOOOOOOOOOO

reyna : …

reyna : sova.

reyna : you cannot JUST target me. I’m not the only serial killer potential here.

tejo : such as?

jett : yourself

tejo : fair.

raze : hey hey

raze : its the method of murder that matters, you know

brimstone : raze, what’s your collateral kill count?

raze : recorded or actual estimate :D

cypher : ooo, both !

cypher : i know the answer but I want brim to hear this <3

harbor : that is disgusting.

sova : chamber, take cypher with you

chamber : i have done nothing.

sova : too bad.

cypher : :(((

raze : recorded, 10,622!

brimstone : what.

jett : what the fu-

jett : so why am i the one on the news ??????? why am i the one hated by the public???

jett : but not this one????

neon : that is so unfortunate

neon : justice for jett fr fr

fade : this is fucking hilarious

fade : i’m sending it to deadlock

sova : raze, do tell your estimated.

raze : ask kj idk :)

killjoy : 50,000+

clove : BRO WHAT

clove : aight cuh i gotta like

clove : step it up mate

jett : so fr

neon : raze i admire you

raze : HEEHEHEHHE

brimstone : this-

sova : no, let them have their moment

cypher : oh our sweet little genocidal bomber

cypher : tejo you should follow her footsteps

tejo : indeed

chamber : oh, you merciless slaughterers..

sova : shut up chamber.

omen : never would I think to see our polite sova speak so harshly

omen : well done.

kay/o : ive come to say this conversation is messing with my circuits.

kay/o : because omen spoke.

kay/o : goodbye

clove : where is my lore

clove : first its yoru and iso now its omen and kay/o

fade : we may never know ….

14:02

sage : hmmm

sage : that’s great and all but, could someone explain…

sage : nevermind, i see.

sage : that’s why I just saw omen, yoru, phoenix, gekko, and iso screaming in a boba shop.

neon : LMFAO WHAT DID THEY DO

clove : AHHAHAHAHAH

sage : well…

sage : phoenix was trying to press the iced drink onto yoru’s genetalia so yoru shot his fingers

sage : omen is busy paying the owner of the boba shop to kick out other customers and leave them alone

sage : gekko and iso are busy holding a photoshoot for gekko’s buddies but iso keeps trying to scare the living wits out of wingman and dizzy

sage : also phoenix was trying to burn off iso’s hair

sage : and then yoru and iso are competing for who has a better dimension and i think iso is currently winning

skye : fascinating

neon : guys pray for yoru’s dick

jett : LMFAO

tejo : cypher film this fucking shit i wanna witness this

cypher : my pleasure :D

chamber : i cannot help but think this is some advanced form of voyeurism.

reyna : aren't they minors - 

fade : would you believe it if i said they are all above the age of 20. 

brimstone : protocol doesn't hire minors. 

reyna : what the hell.

viper : so fucking immature

viper : go kid diddle them, chamber

chamber : really?