Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Xie Lian wakes up three minutes before his alarm clock, at 5:57 AM. It’s the first sign that the day is going to be a hard one. He groans, contemplates sleeping for three more minutes, curses under his breath and opens the clock app to turn off all three of his consecutive alarms. The sun isn’t even fully out yet. He’s gotten about five hours of interrupted sleep. He has the whole day of work and a grocery run today. He really needed those three minutes, damn it.

A loud, long wail breaks the silence of the house and Xie Lian tumbles out of the bed, cursing again, this time a little louder, and comes running to his son’s room. He doesn’t dare turn any lights on — the chances of girls waking up are already pretty high, none of them feeling comfortable with sleeping with their doors closed.

He only stumbles on a misplaced toy once, feeling more than hearing it crack under his bare foot and cringing at the tantrum that’s going to happen soon. He lets out his third curse of the morning and prays it’s not one of A-Daiyu’s cars. She’s going to flip if it’s the Hammer, he knows it.

“Hey, little one.” Xie Lian says softly, walking into Biming’s room. They’re more than a year away from a three-year crisis, and yet Xie Lian is already susceptible to the beautiful world of child rage. Both of his girls were adopted when they were way older, so that’s new for him. He’s not a fan. “What’s wrong, huh?”

Xie Lian picks up his crying son from his low bed and hugs him close to his chest. Biming doesn’t really speak yet, not enough to express his feelings, so he just continues crying, tucking his curly head into the crook of Xie Lian’s neck.

Xie Lian pats his back and carries him across the room to close the door. It’s better to get Biming to calm down before waking girls up. He tries to keep their mornings as calm as possible, and the sobbing child doesn't help with that.

“Let’s change your diaper, how about that?” Xie Lian hums, kissing the top of Biming’s head and placing him on the changing table. Biming is still crying, poor thing; the sleepless night took a toll on him, too. “It’s okay, baby, it’s alright.”

About twenty minutes later Xie Lian finally emerges from the bedroom, grumpy, but calm Biming clutching at his hair with his little, chubby hand.

“Let’s go start on the breakfast before we have to wake your sisters, yeah?” He says softly. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Noods.” Biming mumbles.

“Noodles, ah?” Xie Lian smiles. “Are we gonna eat veggies, someday? Maybe rice? And I know it’s going to sound crazy, but what if we tried meat?”

“Noods.” Biming grouses. Xie Lian sighs. One day he's going to pick this fight and make his son eat something except for noodles, but today isn’t the day.

What’s good about noodles is that they take ten minutes to prepare. Thank the Gods Biming didn’t choose to fixate on ratatouille or something – Xie Lian would have to skip sleep altogether. He would probably agree to it anyway, because nutrients.

He starts on the noodles, puts the kettle on, turns on the coffee machine and goes back upstairs to wake up the girls.

He finds Yina already up, sitting on her bed and scrolling through her phone, her baby blue pajamas askew and colorful hair in disarray.

“Yina.” Xie Lian sighs. “Did we wake you?”

“Mhm.” His oldest says. “The way you stepped on A-Daiyu’s toy and then said something I’d get disowned for was very invigorating. You know she’ll kill you if it was the Hammer, right?”

Xie Lian rolls his eyes and places Biming into his older sister’s arms.

“I didn’t disown you for putting my car on fire, I wouldn’t disown you for swearing.” He says, stepping out of the door to turn on the lights in the hallway and check the toy in question. A tractor. He’ll still have to get a new one, preferably today, but he’ll live.

“A small fire.” Yina says. “You can barely see the burn marks.”

“Because I moved Biming’s seat to cover them.”

“See? Nothing to worry about.” Yina smiles at him, walking out of the room as well. “I’ll go make eggs, you want some?”

“Yes, please.” Xie Lian pats his daughter’s head and goes to pick up the broken tractor and hide it somewhere safe before waking A-Daiyu.

He finds his middle daughter burrowed so deep under her multiple blankets that it takes some time just to dig her out.

“How can you even breathe in there?” He whispers, tugging her out of her cocoon. “A-Daiyu. Come on. Up.”

“Papa?” She whispers, blinking her giant black eyes at him. “It’s morning already?”

“It is.”

“I need to wake up my cars.”

Xie Lian stifles his laugh and looks at the bedside table where toy Hammer is sitting on a makeshift bed, lovingly covered by a piece of cloth.

“Then hurry up,” He says. “We gotta leave for school soon.”

The morning goes relatively smoothly after that. Xie Lian feeds Biming, does Yina’s hair, drinks two mugs of coffee and is almost ready to go change into his work clothes, when the door opens and He Xuan strides inside. He’s had his key for Xie Lian’s house for years now – it’s just easier this way.

“He Xuan!” Xie Lian waves. “Just in time.”

“Aren’t I always?”

“Yes, yes.” Xie Lian smiles. “I’m gonna get changed. Coffee’s on the counter and please, please do A-Daiyu’s hair?”

He Xuan grunts something unintelligible and Xie Lian doesn’t bother to ask him to repeat himself. He changes in what must be his record time, runs a comb through his hair, which – it’s getting too long again, almost touching his shoulder blades. He’ll have to make time to get it cut soon. Shit.

When Xie Lian goes back downstairs he finds Biming cleaned up and sitting on He Xuan’s lap, and Yina doing A-Daiyu’s hair. He raises an eyebrow at He Xuan.

“She cries easily.” He clarifies and Xie Lian just snorts and reaches for Biming.

“Xuan-ge says you need to learn to do my hair yourself.” A-Daiyu chirps.

Xie Lian ignores her and goes to find some decent clothes to put on Biming. She does cry easily. He’s not as immune to his baby’s tears as one would assume he’d be after all this time.

On his way to Biming’s bedroom Xie Lian checks the calendar, despite having it memorized. It’s monday, so He Xuan will be the one to drop the girls off and the one to pick up A-Daiyu.

“He Xuan, can you drive A-Daiyu to the Walmart after school? We need a grocery run.” Xie Lian calls.

“Uh, I have a friend coming to visit today, I thought I’d ask you to get her from Qingxuan’s studio.” He Xuan says, helping Yina clean the dishes.

Xie Lian feels a familiar pang of guilt – both He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan do so much to help him provide the best life for his kids. He knows he asks too much sometimes, but he just doesn’t know how to run this family without their help anymore. He’d need a babysitter, but it’s such a headache and-

“Yes, of course.” He says. “I’ll do that.”

“Actually, nevermind.” He Xuan says. “I’ll just tell Hua Cheng to meet me later at the Walmart and drive A-Daiyu myself. I promised she could choose a playlist today.”

And the babysitter will never love his kids as much as his friends do.

“Are you sure?” Xie Lian asks, still feeling fairly guilty. “I don’t want to impose.”

“Your kids are way more fun than that asshole. I’m sure.” He Xuan says.

“Asshole!” A-Daiyu cheers.

“Language!” Yina chides her. “Xuan-ge, you’re disowned.”

“Oh, no.” He Xuan deadpans. “Mercy.”

Xie Lian winks at him and hurries to get Biming changed before they’re late.

***

By the time Xie Lian is finishing his last lecture his brain is melting and he still has about thirty essays to check. His Chinese literature course is popular this term, which is great, obviously, but also exhausting.

He texts Yina on his way to his car to remind her that they’re meeting at the kindergarten today, before leaving for the grocery store together. She replies to him with some kind of cat picture that he doesn’t really understand, but accepts as an agreement that it, hopefully, is.

Yina is already waiting when Xie Lian finally arrives, and he takes a second to look at his older child with a well-deserved pride. She’s growing up to be a beautiful, unique lady. Her long hair is partially dyed green and her make up is something that gets him calls from school regularly, but he just doesn’t have the heart to stop Yina from using all the color and glitter that she likes so much. She’s drinking bubble tea and is looking at her phone, again, so she doesn’t notice Xie Lian until he taps her on her shoulder, making her jump up.

“Don’t scare me like that.” She cries. “I could’ve spilled that!”

Xie Lian just smiles and motions for her to take her earphones out. She reluctantly obliges.

As they wait for Biming’s teacher to get him ready, Xie Lian takes a moment to text Shi Qingxuan and ask if A-Daiyu’s had lunch or if he should grab something quick for her. A moment later he receives a picture of her stuffing her face with ramen. He sets it as his lock screen instantly.

“Did he sleep at all?” Xie Lian asks the teacher, once Biming is ready and is nestled comfortably in his arms.

“Not for a minute.” The teacher sighs, smiling at him sympathetically. Xie Lian smiles back, even though what he wants is to groan out loud.

Biming doesn’t fall asleep on their way to Walmart, too, not that Xie Lian really expected him to. He doesn’t bother with the stroller, but opens the trunk anyway to find his bag. He rummages through it in search of Yina’s part of the grocery list. It’s always faster to split.

Once inside the store, Xie Lian grabs a cart, puts his son inside it, and goes straight to the vegetable aisle. Unfortunately, Biming’s lack of sleep makes itself known while he chooses the pears, and Xie Lian has to take him out of the stroller to ease the crying. With one hand holding Biming’s he only has one left to pick fruits, so it’s no surprise that soon enough all the pears come tumbling down.

“Shit.” Xie Lian breathes out, closing his eyes for a moment.

Then, he kneels and starts gathering pears. He only lets go of Biming’s hand for a second. Maybe two, so he can put the pears back in place faster. And yet, once he looks back at his son he only finds an empty spot.

Xie Lian’s heart falls.

Chapter Text

Hua Cheng’s job takes him places fairly often. Usually, he doesn’t mind it. It can be annoying sometimes, sure, but it’s not like he has a home, in a sense of a place one actually wants to come back to. No, all he has is an empty house that is too big for just him. So when he gets a contract in a city where He Xuan and his partner live, Hua Cheng takes it without a thought. He won’t be caught dead admitting he’s missed them since they moved away, but he’s still happy about the opportunity.

He Xuan, like a total freak he is, chose the strangest place for a meeting, saying something about the kid and a grocery run, but since Hua Cheng is here anyway, he decides to take a stroll around the store. Might as well pick up something for his dinner later or something. He’s not sure what He Xuan is doing with a child — as far as Hua Cheng knows, he doesn’t have kids, but knowing Shi Qingxuan they might’ve acquired one since the last time they met.

He crouches down in front of the jam selection and is lost in thought, until a soft touch against his thigh startles him. There’s a small, pudgy hand clutching at his pants.

“Hello?” Hua Cheng looks at the small, curly child and can’t suppress a smile.

“Noods.” The kid says, voice quiet but sure.

“Okay.” Hua Cheng lets out a laugh. “Where are your parents?”

He looks around, but doesn’t notice any distressed adults in the area. Meanwhile, the child crouches right next to him and, leaning on him, puts his head on Hua Cheng’s thigh.

“A-alright. What are we doing?”

“Shh.” The kid soothes. And then closes his eyes. Hua Cheng can’t really stand up without toppling the kid, so he just sits there and watches him. It’s strange. His knees start to hurt a little.

About a minute into this very uncomfortable situation, Hua Cheng realizes that the kid has fallen asleep – his clutch at Hua Cheng’s leg loosening and his small body starting to slip down. Not really having another option, Hua Cheng grabs the kid as carefully as he can, and settles him in his arms, slowly standing up. It’s probably the weirdest situation he’s ever found himself in, but not exactly unpleasant.

He tears his eyes away from the child's chubby face and looks around again. Should he go looking for his parents? No, that’s stupid. He’ll probably get even more lost and then arrested for kidnapping. Should he go find someone to make an announcement about a lost child? That makes more sense. Just as he’s about to turn around, though, a man comes running into the aisle.

“Oh!” The man exclaims. The panic on his face turns into relief, his long lashes fluttering on the exhale. He’s absolutely gorgeous, with his soft sweater and long hair. “Biming!”

So the kid sleeping in his arms is called Biming, Hua Cheng notes.

“Hi.” Hua Cheng smiles his most non-threatening smile. He knows what he looks like, and he really doesn’t want to come across as a child stealer. “He just came here a minute ago, judging my jam choices.”

“Is he-” The man starts, coming closer and reaching for the child.

“Asleep.” Hua Cheng says quickly, passing the kid to his father. “Fell asleep standing up, basically.”

“Biming?” The man says, clearly surprised. “Fell asleep?”

“Yeah?”

“He doesn’t do that.”

“Doesn’t… sleep?”

“Exactly.”

As if to prove his dad’s words little Biming starts fretting in his arms, waking up and obviously unhappy about it. Gorgeous man’s face falls, and Hua Cheng’s heart skips a beat. He’s not usually this friendly to strangers, even the ones he finds attractive, but there’s just something about the man that makes him feel soft. It’s probably not about the child either — Hua Cheng isn’t a big fan of children, normally. It’s probably just that he’s got time to spare and the handsome stranger here looks tired and anxious.

“Here, give him to me.” He suggests, not really thinking about what he’s saying, just wanting the man in front of him to stop frowning like that. “I promise not to kidnap him”

To his surprise, the man obliges immediately. Hua Cheng gently cradles the child against his chest and the fretting stops – the kid is asleep once again, just like that. What a strange boy.

The man sighs and leans against the jam shelf.

“You better not.” He says. “If you want a moment of peace in your life, that is.”

“Being a parent isn’t easy.” Hua Cheng hums. Not that he knows that from experience, of course, but he can imagine it must be quite exhausting.

“Try a single parent.”

“Wow.” Hua Cheng is honestly not sure if he’s sympathetic or glad. Probably a bit of both. Mostly, though, he surprises himself by being curious if he has a chance with this man.

“Sorry about that.” The man says, gesturing limply either at his son or at Hua Cheng himself. “It’s just, well, he doesn’t sleep and-”

“That’s okay.” Hua Cheng interrupts him softly. “It’s no bother at all.”

“Thank you.” The man closes his eyes in what looks like an attempt to gather himself. “I’ll take him back in a moment, once he’s fallen asleep more deeply.”

“No rush.”

He Xuan can wait, Hua Cheng decides. He and his mysterious kid.

“I’m probably interrupting your shopping.” The man says. “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Hua Cheng says. “I’m just browsing.”

“Ah. Lucky you. I need groceries for the whole next week.”

Hua Cheng finds himself thinking absolutely crazy things like wow we’re talking already! That’s disturbing. He decides not to let it bother him.

“Where’s your cart?” He asks.

“Oh, shit, my cart!” The man startles, almost knocking several jars off the shelf.

Hua Cheng smiles at him placatingly.

“Let’s go find it?”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course.”

The man smiles at him tiredly and leads the way toward the vegetable section. Hua Cheng follows him closely, thinking about a way to prolong this chance meeting. They stop next to a mostly empty cart, currently containing only a bag of potatoes.

“He ran off while I was choosing pears.” The man explains. “I think I’ve had about eight micro heart attacks since.”

“Well then,” Hua Cheng says. “You should get your fruit in peace, at least. I’ll hold him”

“You’re too good.” The man sighs. “And I’m too tired to be polite, so I’m going to take advantage of your kindness.”

“Feel free to do just that.” Hua Cheng says, glancing at the sleeping kid in his arms. He’s quite sweet, he supposes. If everything goes well Hua Cheng probably wouldn’t mind dating a man with a kid like that. How troublesome could a small child be, anyway? They could raise him together. It could be fun, even. “By the way, I know your son’s name and don’t know yours?”

“Oh!” The man laughs, a little awkwardly. It’s cute. “I’m Xie Lian. Hi. And you?”

Xie Lian. That’s a nice name.

“Hua Cheng. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh, please.” Xie Lian smirks. “I can’t think of a more terrifying way to meet.”

“I could’ve saved you from a feral gorilla?” Hua Cheng suggests. “Or caught you falling out of the window? Or rescued you from some kidnapper’s warehouse?”

“Are you a hero in all of our potential first meetings?”

“I try.” Hua Cheng nods seriously and is gratified to see Xie Lian’s amused expression.

Just as he is about to say something else a teenage girl, with a cart overflowing with paper towels and toilet paper, wedges right between him and Xie Lian.

“Dad!” The girl cries. “You are still on vegetables? What took you so long? Where’s Biming?”

“Here.” Hua Cheng says, feeling a little faint. Two kids? And a teenager, too? He’s not good with teenagers. He can’t even remember if he ever talked to one before.

The girl turns around sharply and looks at Hua Cheng quite intently. Her whole face is sparkly. Hua Cheng hopes she’s not into vampires or some shit. He definitely can’t get into that, and he’ll have to get on with her somehow if he wants to date her dad.

A teenager! What’s he going to do?

“Why’s he asleep?” The girl asks. “Did you drug him?”

“Yina!” Xie Lian chides.

“Only got him a drop of whiskey.” Hua Cheng says.

The girl’s face stays impassive. They stare at each other for a long, long moment.

“We should get the whole bottle since it seems to work so well.” The teenager — Yina — says.

Xie Lian snorts. Hua Cheng relaxes a bit. Maybe it’s not that bad. Sure, raising two kids isn’t easy, and now Hua Cheng understands Xie Lian’s visible exhaustion even better, but Yina seems smart and witty. It’ll be fine. Two kids. Of a man he met at the grocery store ten minutes ago. Totally normal situation.

“Yina, can you go grab the stroller?” Xie Lian asks, handing the girl car keys. “Leave your cart here.”

“You could’ve just asked me not to interrupt your flirting session.” Yina smiles, accepting the keys. “But sure, yeah.”

And then she’s gone and Xie Lian is blushing, and Hua Cheng looks back at Biming again, suppressing a smirk. He does have a chance, after all.

“Sorry about her.” Xie Lian says, placing a pack of apples into his cart and not meeting Hua Cheng’s eye. “You know how teenagers say all kinds of things.”

“I don’t mind.” Hua Cheng shrugs.

“You don’t?” Xie Lian looks at him curiously. “She just implied you flirted with an old man with a bunch of kids.”

“She didn’t imply. She stated it.”

“Even worse!”

“Two kids, so what?” Hua Cheng smirks.

“Three.” Xie Lian smiles slowly.

“Three?” Hua Cheng grips Biming a little bit tighter.

Can he do three? Three whole kids? How- no matter. That’s okay. Hua Cheng has money and he has time. He can do three. Fine.

Xie Lian bursts out laughing and Hua Cheng startles back to reality.

“What?” He says, cleaning his throat.

“You should’ve seen your face.”

Before Hua Cheng can argue that his face wasn’t doing anything, there’s a voice from somewhere behind him.

“Daddy!” A girl that looks about eight or nine barrels into Xie Lian’s legs. “Can we get ice-cream?”

“Sure, A-Daiyu, we can get ice-cream.” Xie Lian pats the girl's head. “Wheres’ your-”

“Xuan-ge is looking at the fish.”

Oh. Hua Cheng can’t be that unlucky, can he? Can he?

“The fuck are you doing here?” He Xuan’s voice comes a second later. “And why do you have Biming?”

Apparently, he can.

Chapter Text

Xie Lian remembers the day he took A-Daiyu home. She was three, looked two at most and froze into a rigid little statue every time Xie Lian took her into his arms. She couldn’t walk, yet, which was only partly the system's fault. Her caretaker, a cold looking woman with way too many responsibilities, told him that A-Daiyu joined them only several months ago. Before that she was living with her heavily drinking mother, who didn’t really bother to teach her child how to walk, talk or chew.

First night at home, A-Daiyu looked more like a terrified kitten than a child. Yina was eleven at the time, and has lived with Xie Lian for six years – his through and through. He, to his horror, has forgotten what adaptation was like by that time. That day he tried to remember what he and Yina had been doing on their first day together and a beautiful picture came to his mind:

He and baby Yina in his first apartment, sitting on the thick carpet and playing with a plush bunny he got for her. She didn’t really know how to play, back then, but her light brown eyes followed the toy curiously as Xie Lian moved it this way and that. She was a bit wary, yes, but it was easy enough to coax a smile out of her. She slept through the whole night. By the end of their first month she started following him like a little duckling. She was his miracle child and it was so, so easy to love her.

A-Daiyu was nothing like that. She was scared of Xie Lian, scared of Yina, scared of the washing machine and completely terrified of water. Her first dinner at home she ate three portions of congee and promptly threw up. Since then Xie Lian has started to watch her food intake with a medicinal precision. She didn’t cry, not even when she’d stumble and fall down. It was most likely that she was used to being ignored when she cried as a baby, so she didn’t see the point anymore. It was heartbreaking.

She started to thaw three months in, and by that time Xie Lian was a wreck from constant worrying and what felt like fighting with the universe itself. A-Daiyu’s rigidness turned into tantrums and aggression. He had to swap all the dishes for plastic ones. Yina even tentatively offered to send her back at some point, and Xie Lian, to his horror, spent the whole night considering it. He was so sure he made a mistake that he didn’t even think about a possible happy ending.

Now, Xie Lian is watching his daughter climb onto Hua Cheng’s lap. She’s still a little small for eight years old, but not critically so, and her eyes are full of laughter, her voice loud. To think that he ever doubted her is unbearable. She’s a happy, bright child and Xie Lian can’t take his eyes off of her sometimes. If love for Yina is easy and natural, his love for A-Daiyu is a fierce thing, burning in his heart like a small fire every waking minute.

Xie Lian hugs sleeping Biming closer to his chest and sighs.

“Your dad got a little lost in his thoughts, huh?” Hua Cheng says, tugging lightly on A-Dayiu’s ponytail. “Does he do that often?”

“Daddy!” A-Daiyu laughs and Xie Lian smiles at her and then looks at Hua Cheng questioningly. “It’s impolite to get lost in front of guests.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Hua Cheng. I wouldn’t want to be impolite, even if you’re not my guest.”

Xie Lian pointedly looks around He Xuan’s living room, where they’re sitting at the table big enough to fit four adults and three children. Shi Qinxuan and Yina disappeared upstairs almost as soon as they got home from the store, having decided an introductory dinner was in order, no doubt plotting something, again. He Xuan is in the kitchen, only emerging periodically to place a new dish on the table. Which leaves Xie Lian and Hua Cheng alone with younger kids, and it’s not a bad thing, of course, but Xie Lian seems to have forgotten how to talk to adults that are not his two closest friends.

“No harm done.” Hua Cheng smiles at him. “No one can over-rude my actual host.”

And does he have to be so nice? Xie Lian wasn’t prepared to meet someone new, especially someone as handsome and sweet – it’ll make it even harder to reject him. Not that Hua Cheng showed any particular interest, of course not, it’s just that he’s so friendly! And Xie Lian doesn’t have even a minute in his schedule to make new friends. It’ll be just like it was with that one mom at the pick up – she kept inviting Xie Lian for coffee, lunch, morning run, but every time he had too many things to do and too many kids to look after to find time for her. Eventually, she got mad at him and even stopped greeting him when they met at school. He really didn’t want a repetition of that, especially with He Xuan’s old friend.

“So, you’re here for work?” He asks, hoping to dissuade the tension he worked himself up to.

“What happened to your eye?” A-Daiyu asks at the very same moment.

“A-Daiyu!” Xie Lian chides. “You can’t ask people that, it’s not nice!”

“Oh.” His daughter looks up at Hua Cheng, clearly still curious, but unwilling to be anything but nice to her new friend. “Sorry?”

“That’s okay.” Hua Cheng says, patting her head a little awkwardly. “My eye got injured when I was a kid. That’s why I have a patch. And yes, I’m here for work. I do art.”

Of course he does. Xie Lian sighs again. Hua Chen is seemingly perfect and he’d actually love to get to know him better. Couldn’t he come to town just a tiny bit later? Once Biming has started middle school, perhaps?

“Does art bore you?” Hua Cheng laughs, glinting eye fixed on Xie Lian.

“No.” Xie Lian admits. “Quite the opposite, actually. I just tried to remember when was the last time I saw a piece of art not made out of spaghetti.”

“Not funny, daddy.” A-Daiyu frowns. “I know you loved my spaghetti forest.”

“It’s on my bedroom wall.” Xie Lian agrees. It’s a mess, actually, and more of a murky puddle than a forest, but Xie Lian does love it.

“I’d like a chance to appreciate such a praised picture.” Hua Cheng says and Xie Lian rolls his eyes at him. Such a flatterer! As if his girl needs an even bigger ego. Deep inside, he’s happy about the reaction, though. He loves it when his children are duly appreciated.

Before he can say anything Shi Qingxuan walks into the room, pink summer dress fluttering around their knees in their haste to get to Biming.

“Give me the baby.” They demand.

“Why?” Xie Lian has an idea why, but asks just in case.

“Baby, please.” Qingxuan repeats, pursing their lips. “Right now.”

“Qingxuan, we do not have any more space in his closet.”

“Throw away that awful overalls.”

“His snowsuit?” Xie Lian gasps. “My parents sent it for winter!”

“Well, it’s ugly.” Shi Qingxuan says, unrepentant. “And the skirt I got him is adorable, okay?”

Xie Lian sighs and passes Biming to Shi Qingxuan. He won’t stand between them and pretty skirts.

“A-Daiyu, upstairs!” They order, as soon they wrap their grabby hands around his son. “I got a dress you must try on right now.”

“Do they do that often?” Hua Cheng asks, as Shi Qingxuan takes his remaining children away.

“At least twice a month.” Xie Lian admits. “It’s the payment for babysitting them during my martial arts classes.”

Hua Cheng leans closer to him, an unreadable expression on his face.

“You take martial arts classes?” He asks. “That’s amazing!”

“I teach.” Xie Lian smiles as he watches Hua Cheng’s eye widen in surprise.

“Wow.” He says. “Will gege give me a lesson, one day?”

“I’m afraid you’re a little too old to be my student.” Xie Lian says, imagining Hua Cheng towering above his ten-year-olds and laughing silently at the thought. “And they don’t actually call me gege.”

“Well, it suits you, doesn’t it?” Hua Cheng smiles brilliantly and Xie Lian doesn’t have a heart to contradict him.

“What do you do, exactly?” He changes the topic. “Art is a broad term.”

“Paint, mostly.” Hua Cheng leans back on the sofa, all long limbs and lazy grace. He does look a lot like an artist. “Sculpt, sometimes.”

“That’s fascinating.”

“It’s not bad.” Hua Cheng nods.

“Don’t be shy!” Xie Lian frowns. “What are you working on now?

They talk about Hua Cheng’s art during dinner, He Xuan sharing stories of their time in university and Shi Qingxuan showing Xie Lian pictures from the first exhibition Hua Cheng’s painting were part of. It’s mostly selfies, of course, but Xie Lian manages to zoom in to one amazing landscape painting. Hua Cheng blushes when he praises it and Xie Lian makes a mental note to talk to He Xuan about being nicer to his friend. He doesn’t seem like a particularly shy type, but he could use more support!

Biming wakes up soon enough and Xie Lian, knowing that he won’t eat anything on display, ushers his girls to get ready.

“I’ll just make him some noodles.” Shi Qingxuan blinks at him pleadingly. “Don’t go yet.”

“It’s almost bedtime, anyway.” Xie Lian shakes his head, imagining the particular kind of hell that putting Biming to sleep this night will be. “Sorry, love, but we have to go.”

“But I’ll miss you.” They whine.

“You’ll see me tomorrow when I pick up the little ones, won’t you?” Xie Lian smiles, as they all shuffle from the living room to the hallway.

“I guess.”

“Stop pouting.” He Xuan grunts, tugging lightly on the strap of Shi Qingxuan’s dress. “Let him go.”

“Alright, alright. Can I at least see them to the car?”

“I’ll do it.” Hua Cheng interjects, grabbing his leather jacket from the rack and passing Yina her army boots so she doesn’t have to squeeze past A-Dayiu to reach them. “Go help your husband clean up.”

“Bossy.” Qingxuan laughs but goes obediently.

Hua Cheng opens the door and lets everyone pass through before letting it fall closed. Girls run to the car immediately, even though Xie Lian hadn’t had a chance to unlock it yet. He awkwardly reaches to tug his car keys out of his pocket before they start yelling for him to unlock the doors and almost jumps on the spot when two strong arms tug Biming out of his grasp.

“Oh.” He looks at Hua Cheng who’s busy tugging on Biming’s pant leg where it got tangled around his ankle. “Thank you.”

“No problem, gege. Didn’t we agree that you get to take advantage of my kindness?”

“But I did, already.” Xie Lian argues, finally finding his keys and opening the car for girls. “At the store and then when you volunteered to cut the meat for A-Daiyu.”

“It barely made a dent in the pile of favors I’m willing to give.”

Xie Lian laughs awkwardly and heads to his car. Hua Cheng really is too nice. Xie Lian isn’t sure what he did to deserve it. Some days it feels like he barely has any personality left except for being a parent and Hua Cheng is bursting with energy, color, character. Could it be that it’s pity that drives him to be so nice to him? Xie Lian doesn’t know if there’s any other way to explain it.

Hua Cheng opens the back door and expertly buckles Biming is his carseat. Xie Lian watches him in barely concealed fascination. It took him hours to figure it out the first time Yina and he had to use it.

“Are you sure you don’t have kids of your own?” Xie Lian asks, finally tearing his eyes away and opening his own door, but not getting in just yet. “You seem quite proficient.”

“I don’t have children, but I do want them, one day.” Hua Cheng closes the door once Biming is seated and waves to A-Daiyu through the window.

“You do?”

“Mhm. Three little ones would be nice.” Hua Cheng says quietly. They stand pretty close to each other, so Xie Lian hears him well, but his tone is still hard to understand.

“Three kids is a big change. You won’t be able to travel as much anymore.” Xie Lian says honestly. Hua Cheng mentioned that he visited seven countries this year during dinner – with three kids Xie Lian manages a weekend at the beach twice a year, if he’s lucky.

“I think I’m ready to settle down.”

Xie Lian smiles and shakes his head. It’s easy to say so while you’re free, and while Xie Lian is the happiest now that he has his little family, Hua Cheng might not be the same.

“Why don’t you come visit sometime, while you’re in the city?” He suggests. “You can see what a mess it is to have three kids and make a more informed decision then?”

“That sounds like a great plan, gege.” Hua Cheng says slowly, his gaze dark. “I think I would love a practice run very much.”

They exchange contact information and Xie Lian drives home feeling light and satisfied. He did the right thing – once Hua Cheng marries, or maybe decides to adopt, too, he’ll thank Xie Lian for providing a sneak peak for what’s to come.

Throwing a look at his own kids on the backseat – Yina on her phone and A-Daiyu singing nursery rhymes to Biming – Xie Lian secretly hopes he won’t get spooked too badly. Having kids is a very special kind of happiness.

Chapter Text

“No running, please.” Xie Lian calls out and a patter of small feet quiets down immediately. Both boys and girls, previously busy racing out of the room, look up at him minutely, smiles bright on their sweaty faces, and continue walking at a more sedate pace. Such a bundle of energy, these kids! Not even two hours of fighting can wear them down. Xie Lian, on the other side, is exhausted. He follows his students out of the room and watches them scatter into changing rooms, before entering his own. It’s currently empty – no other teachers have morning Sunday classes. He checks his phone in case Shi Qinxuan texted or called, but only finds a short message from Yina, asking if she can wash her pink sweatshirt with her jeans. It was sent more than an hour ago, so the harm is probably done. Xie Lian sighs and grabs his shower bag.

Once he’s clean and dressed in blue jeans and white shirt, he emerges into the main hall where parents are already gathered, waiting to pick up their children. Xie Lian greets everyone and talks a bit about kids’ progress while they wait. Soon the hall grows busy and noisy with children's voices and Xie Lian spends several minutes seeing everyone off.

“You’re so good with them, Teacher Xie.” One of the mothers smiles at him, hugging her son to his chest. “Maybe we can treat you to dinner tonight as a thank you?”

“I’m just doing my job.” Xie Lian smiles back and shakes his head. “No thanks needed.”

“I’m making a roast today.” The woman – Xie Lian tries and fails to remember her name – continues, as if she didn’t hear him. “It’s my speciality.”

“I’m afraid I have to make my own dinner tonight.” Xie Lian says. “My kids requested dumplings.”

“You have kids? How nice!” The woman smiles, though it looks a little tense to Xie Lian. Which, he could be wrong, of course, but he’s left feeling uncomfortable nevertheless. “I could have sworn A-Yang here told me you weren’t married…?”

“Oh!” Xie Lian laughs. “No, I mean, I’m-“

“Gege!” A voice interrupts his awkward attempts to explain his family situation and Xie Lian’a shoulders drop in relief. He looks always from the woman still boring holes in him and meets Hua Cheng’s eye.

He looks just as excited as he sounded over the phone earlier this morning and such an expression probably should probably look at least a little funny on a man so dark and tall and devilishly handsome, but instead it looks adorable. Xie Lian feels his smile soften. Hua Cheng comes towards him in a confident stride, barely sparing anyone else in the room a glance.

“Am I interrupting?” He asks, still not looking at the woman Xie Lian is obviously talking to. It’s a little rude but Hua Cheng is about to spend his evening helping him with kids duties, so Xie Lian doesn’t feel like reprimanding him.

“Hua Cheng, you’re right on time.” He says and turns back to the woman. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”

“Right.” Hua Cheng smiles, holding a hand towards him. “What do you say to raisin muffins for dessert?”

“Yina is allergic to grapes.” Xie Lian shakes his head. “Chocolate chip?”

“Of course.” Hua Cheng nods, opening the door for Xie Lian. “And the whole list of allergies, please.”

Xie Lian laughs, looking at Hua Cheng’s serene expression. He really is taking the whole thing seriously. When Xie Lian called him this morning, asking if still wanted to practice childcare Hua Cheng jumped on the chance immediately. He even asked if he should pick up Biming, but Xie Lian insisted they meet and then go to Shi Qingxuan’s studio together. Biming seemed to like Hua Cheng well enough on their first meeting, but Xie Lian has been a father for too long to let mostly unfamiliar people handle his toddler.

“That’s it with kids.” Xie Lian says, as they get in his car. “Biming doesn’t eat anything but noodles, but it’s by choice, not by dietary restriction.”

Hua Cheng asks Xie Lian hundred more questions as they drive, both about children and himself.

“You know you don’t need to know everything about my kids to have your own, right?” Xie Lian asks, amused.

Hua Cheng just looks at him for a long moment before he sighs and smiles.

“Sure, gege.” He says. “Just want to be helpful.”

***

Hua Cheng ends up being helpful alright. Firstly, he manages to put Biming to sleep even before they leave Shi Qingxuan’s studio. One minute Xie Lian is admiring the dress Shi Qingxuan’s designing and the next Hua Cheng is calling for him quietly, asking if they should go home since Biming has started snorting softly against his shoulder. Despite Xie Lian’s worries Biming sleeps soundly all the way home and he asks Hua Cheng to unbuckle him himself, because he seems to be some kind of a baby whisperer.

Yina and A-Daiyu come outside to meet them, with Yina looking curious and A-Daiyu delighted. They both seemed happy enough when Xie Lian suggested they invite Hua Cheng for dinner, and he hopes the day will go smoothly. Xie Lian rarely has guests, especially ones whom he could be of assistance with, and Hua Cheng seems like a great person, all alone in a new city. Xie Lian, being constantly overworked and permanently tired, feels surprisingly excited to spend some time with him, too.

“I’ll get him settled in his room.” Hua Cheng suggests, heading to the house.

“I’ll show you the way.” Yina says before Xie Lian has a chance to suggest the same. Hua Cheng thanks her and Xie Lian sends a silent prayer for Hua Cheng – his daughter is sixteen and her altruistic drive is almost always accompanied by ulterior motives. In this case it’s most likely grilling their poor guest.

“Well,” Xie Lian says, taking A-Daiyu’s hand and leading her towards the house, once Yina and Hua Cheng have disappeared inside. “If he wants his own kids one day he should know what a teenager is.”

“I think he knows already.” A-Daiyu says. “It’s not a very hard word.”

Xie Lian laughs and ruffles his daughter’s hair.

Hua Cheng comes downstairs when Xie Lian washes vegetables for dinner.

“Gege, let me get that!” He grabs a tomato right out of Xie Lian’s hand and starts washing it with vigor.

“I could’ve done that, you know? It wasn't a particularly taxing task.”

“Still.” Hua Cheng puts the washed tomato on the paper towel by the sink. “You’ve only just returned from work and I had the whole day off.”

“Alright.” Xie Lian smiles, letting Hua Cheng overtake the cooking process. He’s supposed to be training anyways.
“Why do we need tomatoes for dumplings?”

“They’re not for dumplings.” Xie Lian laughs. “We’re going to make a few snacks so the kids won’t die of hunger while we make dumplings from scratch.”

“Make sense.” Hua Cheng agrees.

They slice vegetables and cheese and Hua Cheng boils some noodles for when Biming wakes up. While the girls are finishing their homework upstairs, Xie Lian takes a chance to talk to Hua Cheng.

“What did Yina interrogate you about?” He asks, getting minced pork out of the fridge.

“Nothing.” Hua Cheng looks up at him from where he was kneading the dough, his messy hair in a bun and his cheek smeared with flour. He blinks a couple of times, an expression of pure innocence. Xie Lian doesn’t buy it for a second.

“So you two just awkwardly marched up the stairs, she pointed to Biming’s room and retreated to her own without saying a word.” Xie Lian nods. “Sounds like a great bonding experience.”

Hua Chend lets out a short laugh and gets back to the dough. It looks ready to Xie Lian’s eye, but he lets Hua Cheng do his thing and mixes pork with spices.

“Daddy!” Shrill voice comes from upstairs. “Math is giving me a headache again!”

“And she decided to impart it on me.” Xie Lian looks at Hua Cheng with the most dejected expression he can manage.

“Not a fan of math?” Hua Cheng smiles, covering the perfect looking dough with a kitchen towel.

“Kind of hate it.” Xie Lian admits, but goes to wash his hands.

“Can I help, then?” Hua Cheng asks, making Xie Lian pause. “I’m good at it.”

Xie Lian feels a little guilty for a second, not wanting to make Hua Cheng do all the work, even if he did come here for a test run. But, well. He asked and Xie Lian really, really hates math.

“Go on then.” He smiles. “And can you bring the snacks upstairs?”

Hua Cheng grabs the plate with vegetables and cheese, considers it for a moment and takes the second plate out of the cupboard. Xie Lian watches with rapt attention as Hua Cheng divides snacks evenly between two plates. So considerate! Xie Lian mentally gives him an A+ for his first lesson on fatherhood.

“I’ll be back shortly.” Hua Cheng promises. “Don’t start making dumplings without me, gege!”

And then he’s gone, and Xie Lian, for a short moment, finds himself with nothing to do at all. It’s a long-forgotten experience for him, so he just stands there in his kitchen, looking around and not catching anything that requires his immediate attention.

“Well, that’s strange.” He says outloud and goes to make tea.

***

The process of making dumplings is not a quiet activity in their house. For as long as Xie Lian remembers they’ve had a competition going on who can make more dumplings until they run out of dough and pork. Yina’s been their unbeatable champion for all these years, even making A-Daiyu cry in despair several times. Still, Xie Lian is all for fair game, so even with the guest in their house, competition is still on.

“You’re such losers, guys.” Yina sighs, looking all kinds of bored with at least twice as many dumplings on the board as Xie Lian has managed.

“Don’t count your chickens just yet.” Hua Cheng smirks. He’s currently in second place, stepping Yina on the heels. “I’ve made thousands of statues in my days. I’m quite dexterous.”

“See, that’s where your weak spot is.” Yina counters. “You’re trying to make each dumpling pretty. And while you waste your time, I’m winning.”

“What’s dexterous?” A-Daiyu asks.

“It means he’s good with his fingers.” Xie Lian answers distractedly. He thinks he can hear Biming fretting upstairs, but with the conversation so lively and loud around the table he can’t be sure.

“I am.” Hua Cheng confirms smugly.

“Ew.” Yina says. “No sex talk around my food, please.”

“Yina!” Xie Lian gasps, feeling himself blush. He looks at his daughter and then at Hua Cheng, but both are giggling, looking down at the dumplings they continue to make. Xie Lian’s own half formed monstrosity is lying on the table in front of him, forgotten.

“What’s sex?” A-Daiyu chirps.

“I think Biming woke up.” Xie Lian says, standing up sharply and leaving somebody else to answer that question.

***

“I can’t believe you’ve managed to feed him two whole dumplings.” Xie Lian grouses. “He’d probably bite my finger off if I tried it.”

“Well,” Hua Cheng says, looking way too smug. “We have lots in common. I’m the third son, too, you know?”

“San Lang, huh?” Xie Lian smiles. “It suits you.”

“Then gege should call me that.” Hua Cheng gets Biming seated more comfortably on his lap.

“Can I call you San Lang, too?” A-Daiyu asks. “It’s pretty.”

“Sure.” Hua Cheng smiles. “You too, Yina?”

“We’ll see.” She smirks. “If you admit I won-”

“At least three of your dumplings came apart in the pot!” Hua Cheng protests. “We’re even.”

“How do we know they weren’t dad’s dumplings?”

“Because if they were gege’s dumplings I would have no chance of winning.” Hua Cheng says.

“You’re such a sore loser.” Yina groans.

“I want to be even, too!” A-Daiyu exclaims.

“Umplin’!” Biking cries and slaps Hua Cheng's plate. Cut up dumpling flies across the table landing right in the center.

***

Once girls are busy cleaning up, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, Biming still in his arms, go to the living room to choose a movie.

“So, gege.” Hua Cheng sits down on the sofa and tugs the strand of his hair out of Biming’s grasp. “Now that we’ve eaten, will my lesson begin?”

“What do you mean?” Xie Lian asks, rummaging in the drawer in search of remote.

“I mean my test run at being a dad.”

Xie Lian lets the drawer fall closed and turns to look at Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng, who’s holding Biming to his chest, having fed him just half an hour ago. Hua Cheng, who helped A-Daiyu with her homework. Hua Cheng, who held his own against a snarky teenager.

Xie Lian laughs.

“Gege?”

“Oh, San Lang.” He says. “You’re so oblivious.”

Hua Cheng just looks at him for a long moment before smiling softly.

“Sure, gege.” He says. “I’m the oblivious one.”

Chapter Text

Hua Cheng knows what crushes feel like – elevating, rapturous, easy.

What he feels for Xie Lian is something entirely different. It is deep, stirring something long forgotten in his chest. It is thrilling to the point of heart palpitations. It is scary, terrifying even, and yet it is the best thing Hua Cheng has ever felt. Knowing full well that Xie Lian doesn’t return his feelings he still clings to them with teeth and nails, because it was obvious from the very beginning – one only feels like that once in a lifetime.

“Gege.” Hua Cheng smiles, standing in the doorway of Xie Lian’s house almost an hour before He Xuan is bound to show up. “I brought eggs.”

Xie Lian blinks at him, hair messy and eyes hazy. Hua Cheng would worry he’d woken him up, but He Xuan told him Xie Lian gets up at 6:00 every day. He still waited by the door until he heard Xie Lian moving around the kitchen, just in case.

“Did- did I ask you to buy the eggs?” Xie Lian asks, sounding confused and almost guilty. Something hot spreads inside Hua Cheng’s chest and stomach.

“No.” Hua Cheng says softly. “I noticed there were only three left when we were making brownies yesterday, and Yina said she usually makes omelet for breakfast, so I decided to get some.”

Xie Lian’s expression melts into a soft surprise. Hua Cheng wants to ask if he can just move in with him and take care of all the household chores forever.

“Can I help you with breakfast?” He asks instead. Because he’s a normal person and is not going to scare Xie Lian off less than a month into their friendship.

“You help all the time.” Xie Lian sighs, but opens the door wider and lets Hua Cheng come inside.

“I enjoy it.” Hua Cheng shrugs, looking around the kitchen and smiling wider when he sees Biming sitting in his high chair, eyeing a cup of water.

“No one can enjoy waking up before six.” Xie Lian grunts and walks past Hua Cheng to turn on the coffee machine. “Even He Xuan hates it.”

“He Xuan is weak, weak man. That’s why he was dismissed today. I do enjoy it. I went for a run this morning, had a shower, did some shopping and-”

“You’re crazy.” Xie Lian interrupts him. “Completely out of your mind.”

“Hear that, Biming?” Hua Cheng whispers, wiping off the drool from Biming’s chin. “Your daddy is bullying me.”

“It’s well deserved.” Xie Lian says.

“What’s deserved?” A-Daiyu yawns, entering the kitchen, Yina right behind her.

“The bullying.” Hua Cheng informs her.

“Dad.” Yina says in a cold voice.

“Sorry, sorry.” Xie Lian huffs. “Yina is our moral compass here.”

“Yeah, I’m such a buzzkill.” Yina rolls her eyes as she grabs a tall glass and opens the freezer. “Because bullying is so fun.”

A-Daiyu joins Hua Cheng by Biming’s chair.

“It’s not.” Xie Lian agrees. “But San Lang runs. In the morning.”

Yina fills her glass with ice almost to the brim before opening the water bottle and filling the glass with it slowly.

“Did you run today?” She asks.

“Yes, I did.”

“Sicko.” Yina says with wide eyes.

“Your glass is overflowing.” Hua Cheng smirks. Yina yelps and puts the bottle away.

Mornings are more hectic than evenings and most conversations end up being about lost shoes, misplaced pens and unfinished homework.

“Dad, we’re going to be late!” Yina yells from the hallway. Hua Cheng checks the time and thinks she might be right.

“Come on, Biming.” He says, trying to put his tiny shoes on his tiny baby feet and failing as Biming kicks his leg. Again.

“No!” Cries Biming.

“No shoes?” Hua Cheng asks, catching his pudgy ankle.

“No!”

“Dad!” Yina yells again. “I’m not walking into the room once the lesson has started, again. It’s embarrassing!”

“We’re almost ready!” Xie Lian yells back.

Hua Cheng wonders if it’s his fault they’re slower today, if He Xuan is better at morning routine than him — it’s only his second time helping out and the first time he only came five minutes before they were leaving. He’s had many “parenting lessons” by now, mostly because he can’t stay away from Xie Lian, but morning drop off is a big deal, he knows that, and it’s well rehearsed by Xie Lian and He Xuan. Dinners are pretty easy, and Hua Cheng is often there for those. He wants to prove he’s more capable than that, though, so he makes a funny noise at Biming and hurries up.

When he finally manages to get Biming dressed he grabs A-Daiyu’s backpack and ushers girls to his car. It’s rented and it’s a minivan. He Xuan laughed for an hour straight, but Hua Cheng doesn’t care. He’s not putting children into a sportscar.

Xie Lian helps to buckle A-Daiyu up and waves to Yina before taking Biming from Hua Cheng.

“Thank you again,” He says. “Drive safe!”

“Sure, gege.” Hua Cheng nods and climbs into the driving seat. “I’ll see you later!”

Xie Lian smiles at him and Hua Cheng watches him in the mirror for an extra second before driving away.

***

“Gods, I hate school.” Yina sighs as they park. “Do I really have to go?”

“School is fun!” A-Daiyu gasps, affronted.

“Yeah, for you.” Yina says. “Because you’re a baby.”

“I’m not!”

“You are.”

“Girls.” Hua Cheng shuts the engine down and turns to look at them. “It’s time to go. You have seven minutes before the first lesson.”

It stops the bickering instantly, and Hua Cheng gets out of the car to help A-Daiyu. Once she’s ready to go, Yina has already walked ahead.

“Yina!” Hua Cheng calls. “Wait for your sister!”

Yina groans, but stops in her tracks.

Hua Cheng watches them until they both enter the building.

Once he’s in the studio he texts Xie Lian to let him know girls are at school and ask if he’s gotten to work fine. He receives the answer several minutes later, when he’s settling in front of his easel. It’s a picture of Biming’s shoe inside of Xie Lian’s bag.

Hua Cheng laughs and gets to work. He’s lost in his painting until it’s time to go pick A-Daiyu up. His working hours have decreased dramatically since he met Xie Lian, and Hua Cheng is surprised to find that he actually likes it quite a bit. His head hurts way less from all the paint and he eats more often. And, most importantly, he sees Xie Lian and the kids almost every day.

Hua Cheng doesn’t bother to clean up, just wipes his hands quickly, and leaves the studio. He drives to school with some time to spare and contemplates on getting some snacks, since he still has fifteen minutes or so before A-Daiyu is finished, when he notices something that makes him park hurriedly and roll his window down.

It’s Yina, walking back and forth along the side of the building. Hua Cheng kills the radio and watches her. For a moment he thinks she’s waiting for someone, even looks around to see if some girl – or, God forbid, boy – approaches her not-so-hiding spot, but the yard is empty. Yina looks at something on her phone, clearly not seeing him, and Hua Cheng decides to watch her for as long as he can, just in case. Nothing seems to happen until ten minutes later, when Yina turns around and walks back to school. So, was she just skipping classes? That’s strange. Is she struggling with one of her classes? Does Xie Lian know? He probably doesn’t, Hua Cheng reasons. He’d definitely do something about it. Should Hua Cheng tell him? He should, right? He totally should.

Or he could speak to Yina first? Maybe it’s nothing, and if he talks to Xie Lian without talking to her first it would just look like he doesn’t trust her.

The lesson ends while he’s thinking and soon enough A-Daiyu is waving at him from the playground. Hua Cheng waves back and watches her as she runs to him. One of her ponytails came undone and is comically longer than the other. She calls his name, and though he can’t really hear her, her mouth definitely moves in the familiar shape of San Lang. Hua Cheng, for some inexplicable reason, feels his eye fill with tears. He blinks several times to chase the weird feeling off and unlocks the back door when A-Daiyu comes closer.

“Hello, San Lang!” She cheers, as soon as she opens the door. “I got an A today, and my teacher said my handwriting got better! Can we get an ice cream?”

Hua Cheng watches as she throws her backpack on the backseat and then climbs into the car herself.

“Hello, A-Daiyu. Good job on being the best student ever. Of course we can get ice-cream, and then you get to draw whatever you want in my studio, does that sound good?”

“Yes!”

So they do just that. Hua Cheng enjoys spending time with her, of course he does, but today he can barely concentrate on anything besides Yina’s strange behavior.

“Hey, little one, what do you say about picking up your sister today? Do you think she’ll like it?”

A-Daiyu looks at him like he’s a little slow. Are small, sweet children even supposed to throw such nasty looks?

“She’ll hate it, won’t she?” Hua Cheng sighs.

“Smart boy, San Lang.” A-Daiyu smiles sunnily and goes back to her drawing.

***

Hua Cheng drives to Xie Lian’s house earlier than should have. He knows that Yina gets home an hour earlier than her father on all days except for Tuesdays, when Xie Lian has martial arts and gets home even later. It means that he’ll have some time to talk to Yina before Xie Lian comes home.

“Why are you here so early?” Yina frowns, as she lets them in and A-Daiyu dashes past her inside the house. “It’s supposed to be my alone time, with no kids.”

“It looks like you got enough alone time today.” Hua Cheng raises his eyebrow.

“What’s that supposed to- oh, shit, I forgot you park there. He Xuan parks on the teacher’s parking lot.”

“Is he allowed to do that?” Hua Cheng gets distracted minutely. It would be so much more convenient to park on the teacher’s lot.

“No, but he’s confident enough to pull it off.”

“He’s not half as confident as me.”

“He’d never wait on the doorstep until I let him inside, he’d already be in the kitchen, eating our food by now.”

“That just means he’s an impolite dick.” Hua Cheng huffs. “And stop talking my ear off about He Xuan. Why were you skipping lessons?”

Yina rolls her eyes, quite demonstratively, and turns around, walking to the living room. Hua Cheng locks the door behind himself and follows her.

“I skipped PE.” Yina says, as soon as he enters the room. “That’s not a big deal.”

“Does your dad know?”

“Duh.” Yina drops on the sofa and takes her phone out of her pocket to fiddle with it. “You told him.”

“I haven’t.” Hua Cheng sits down in an armchair in front of her. “Yet.”

“Why?”

“Wanted to talk to you first.” Hua Cheng answers honestly. “Is PE hard for you?”

“I’m obviously not a sporty kid.” Yina says, not really answering the question.

“Most kids aren’t.”

“Most kids aren’t embarrassingly bad at it.”

Hua Cheng feels like he’s pulling nails. She talks to him, albeit unwillingly, but she’s not saying anything.

“So you decided to just skip class altogether? You know it won’t make you any better at it, and you still need to get grades somehow, right?”

“I’m not stupid.”

“Not saying you are.” Hua Cheng says. “Just saying you’re lying. Why are you skipping the class, really?”

Yina looks at him for a long moment without saying anything before unlocking her phone and starting scrolling.

“You won’t understand.” She says, like it’s the end of conversation. Hua Cheng disagrees.

“Why do you think so?”

“You were clearly one of the cool kids.” Yina grunts. Hua Cheng knows it’s not a right situation to laugh, but he just can’t help it.

Him. The cool kid. It’s just too funny.

“What?” Yina snaps.

“Yina.” Hua Cheng sighs, still smiling. “Look at me for a minute and try to guess why you’re wrong.”

She does. Hua Cheng sees the realization drawn on her face several seconds later.

“Your eye.” She says quietly.

“Add total poverty and drinking parents to that and you’ll see how I was the least popular kid you can imagine.”

“Well,” Yina says. “Have you ever thrown up during volleyball and had it recorded on your every classmate's camera to be later spread around the whole school?”

“No.” Hua Cheng says in a carefully controlled voice. “I can’t say I have.”

“Not the best experience, I’ll be honest.” Yina whispers. “When I walked into the changing room today they all started making gagging noises at me. So I left.”

Hua Cheng doesn’t know what to say. He wishes he’d told Xie Lian. He’s obviously not equipped to do that by himself.

“I know it was stupid.” Yina continues. “They tried to get a reaction out of me and they did. I should’ve just ignored them.”

“Easier said than done, isn’t it?” Hua Cheng says softly. “They were being assholes and they need to be punished, but you don’t have to endure their nasty behavior.”

“Please, don’t say that we need to talk to my teacher.”

“I was going to say principle, but yeah. Teachers, too. And, first and foremost, your father.”

“No!” Yina yelps. “Do not tell dad. He was a cool kid through and through! He was on the sports team!”

“Yina.” Hua Cheng sighs. “You know I can’t just show up at school and demand they take action. I’m not authorized.”

“Shi Qingxuan can! They’re authorized!”

“Yina.”

She scoffs but doesn’t protest. Hua Cheng counts it as a win.

“Fine.” She says finally. “But can you talk to him first? I don’t feel like repeating all that.”

“Sure, kid.”

Chapter Text

“-Greater familiarity bred greater intimacy. And of course, with greater intimacy came the occasional tiffs and misunderstandings that are usual with people who have a great deal to do with each other.” Xie Lian puts his elbows on the table and fights the urge to rub his eyes. Just a couple of minutes to go. He’ll finish the lecture and go pick up his son from kindergarten. “We can consider this quote as an example of one of the many compelling psychological insights that the author makes in the text. I advise you to pay closer attention to this particular chapter for future discussion. Please, be ready with your own analysis by the next seminar.”

Xie Lian answers several questions until the time is up and then watches as his students gather their things and file out of the classroom. He’s had so much more energy lately, but for some reason he just can’t bring himself to stand up. It’s not that he doesn’t want to go home and see his kids — he does, of course he does — it’s just that now that he’s had more time to himself since he first adopted Yina he also wants something else. Something more.

Xie Lian watches the door close behind the last of his students and drops his head in his palms. He’s always had help — He Xuan and She Qingxuan were there from day one, they help him out with drop offs and pick ups, they watch A-Daiyu and Biming when he teaches martial arts on Tuesdays and Sundays. They’re amazing, and he’s forever grateful, but he feels like something clicked when he met Hua Cheng.

He helps, too, but differently. Where He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan are the blood and muscle of his family — keeping them strong, upright and moving, Hua Cheng is lungs. He’s a breath of fresh air.

He’s the fullness in his chest, he’s laughter, he’s lightness, he’s calmness.

He’s the puzzle piece that was missing and now that he’s here Xie Lian thinks not only about schedule, grocery runs, diapers and homework, but about so many other things that it scares him. He wants to go out, wants to visit new places, wants to buy something new for himself, something useless, unnecessary and enjoy it. He wants to take his children to an amusement park, all three of them, and wants to have an absolutely crazy day with them, running around, letting them get dirty, smeared with mud and ketchup and with cotton candy in their hands and in their hair.

He feels like he can finally enjoy it fully, with Hua Cheng there.

He’s sure Hua Cheng would like it, too. He’s always there when Xie Lian wants him to be, not needs. It’s almost like he is-

Xie Lian’s thoughts come to a screeching stop. It’s almost like Hua Cheng is his partner.

Not romantically, of course, but in all other aspects, he’s become Xie Lian’s partner. Xie Lian gasps and squeezes his eyes. It’s a catastrophe. It’s the worst thing that could have happened. He was meant to help Hua Cheng accommodate himself to the idea of a big family, not integrate him in his own and come to rely on him so fully.

It’s bad.

“Oh, Gods above.” Xie Lian sighs. “That’s it.”

That is it. He’ll have to stop it. He can’t use Hua Cheng like that, and not only because it’s unfair to Hua Cheng himself, but because it’s potentially dangerous for Xie Lian. When Hua Cheng inevitably leaves, what will he do? Will he even be able to get back to how his life was before?

Xie Lian gathers his thoughts as he gathers his things into his bag — slowly and carefully, one by one.

He will pick up Biming.

He will call Shi Qingxuan and ask them and He Xuan to pick up kids and take them somewhere fun for dinner. He never asks this, but he’ll have to, today.

He will get home and get kids ready, wait until they leave, and take Hua Cheng to that Chinese restaurant he likes.

He’ll tell Hua Cheng that he’s been a great help and that he’s more than ready to start thinking about his own family.

He’ll express the desire for seeing Hua Cheng on occasional gatherings at He Xuan’s place and wish him luck with his art.

He will stop expecting Hua Cheng to help A-Daiyu with math, he will stop letting him cook and he will stop enjoying a cup of tea in the meantime.

When Xie Lian comes home, Biming clutching at his shirt and whimpering pathetically after yet another skipped nap, Shi Qinxuan is already upstairs, helping A-Daiyu choose her outfit, and He Xuan is drinking coffee and talking to Hua Cheng about either cars or drums.

“Gege.” Hua Cheng abandons the conversation as soon as he sees Xie Lian. “You’re home.”

Xie Lian’s chest squeezes. Shit.

“I am.” He nods. “How were kids?”

“Perfect.” Hua Cheng answers quickly. “They were perfect, like always.”

He Xuan snorts.

“Did the little monster not sleep again?” He asks, finishing his coffee and reaching out to take Biming.

Hua Cheng shoves at him, quite rudely, and grabs Biming himself.

“I got it.” Hua Cheng smiles at Xie Lian and glares at He Xuan. It would be honestly adorable, if it wasn’t breaking Xie Lian’s heart.

“I’m taking him out for dinner.” He Xuan frowns.

“That’s why I get to hold him until then.” Hua Cheng says, holding Biming tighter. To Xie Lian’s surprise, it makes his son laugh.

So, he’s already let it go too far. He can’t let his children get used to Hua Cheng even more, but it’s already too late to let him go without hurting anyone. Maybe they could meet on the weekends? Would Hua Cheng want this?

“Is gege going out, too?” Hua Cheng asks, not looking at Xie Lian.

He Xuan snorts again.

“What, gonna hold him, too?” He asks.

“And what if I will?” Hua Cheng moves a little sideways to stand between Xie Lian and He Xuan.

“Okay, we are ready!” Shi Qinxuan calls from the living room. “Yina, get dressed.”

Just then, something strange happens. Yina peeks into the kitchen and throws Hua Cheng a look.

“San Lang.” She says, with a slight furrow.

“Right.” Hua Cheng nods at her and looks back at Xie Lian.

“Were you planning to go out, too, gege?”

“Yes, but I actually thought we could go out together. Just you and I? I wanted to talk.”

Hua Cheng looks surprised for a second and then his face lights up.

“Gege.” He says. “What a great idea.”

“San Lang.” Yina repeats. Hua Cheng’s smile falls.

“A great idea that we might have to postpone.” He says. “What if you, Yina and I stay at home today? I wanted to talk to you, too.”

Xie Lian frowns, confused.

“And Yina is… my chaperone? Or yours?” He asks, trying and failing to understand why his oldest daughter needs to stay.

“Ew, stop being lewd.” Yina cries.

“What’s lewd about you chaperoning?” Xie Lian gasps.

“The things you’d do to San Lang if I weren’t chaperoning!”

“What’s lewd!” A-Daiyu cries from the living room. “And chaperone!”

He Xuan snorts. Again. Xie Lian wants to kick him a little.

“San Lang!” Biming knocks his curly head against Hua Cheng’s jaw. “Noods?”

“Of course, baby.” Hua Cheng says faintly and walks to the stove.

Despite everyone’s efforts to persuade him that Biming can eat at the restaurant in fifteen minutes, Hua Cheng feeds him freshly cooked noodles with zucchini. Biming eats happily.

A-Daiyu demands noodles, too, even though she doesn’t like them much. Hua Cheng dutifully reheats some for her and she eats them at lightning speed, throwing smug looks at both Xie Lian and Hua Cheng. The latter praises her for being such a swift eater and A-Daiyu beams. It’s adorable, but it’ll make it even harder for Xie Lian to let him go. A-Daiyu doesn’t take it too well when people leave. Once He Xuan had to leave for a week-long work trip and A-Daiyu was convinced that he left because he didn’t like her anymore. It was a long, long week.

“All done!” A-Daiyu cries, making Shi Qingxuan jump and almost drop their phone.

“Sweetheart, inside voice, please.” They chide.

“Like you know what the inside voice is.” He Xuan says and Shi Qingxuan sticks their tongue out at him.

“Great job, A-Daiyu.” Hua Cheng pats his daughter’s head. She looks absolutely radiant. Xie Lian sighs and ushers everyone out, even though the dinner is clearly an unnecessary event at this point.

Soon enough, the house is empty with only Xie Lian, Yina and Hua Cheng left.

Hua Cheng reheats pasta he somehow managed to make while waiting for Xie Lian and Biming, and waits for Xie Lian to finish eating before he finally starts talking.

“Should I worry?” Xie Lian asks jokingly. Turns out, the things that Hua Cheng has to say are not anything to joke about and Xie Lian should, in fact, worry.

“Oh, fuck.” He breathes out, as soon as Hua Cheng is finished. “Oh, shit.”

“Gege,” Hua Cheng reaches out across the table and takes one of Xie Lian’s hands in his. “I am so, so sorry I didn’t call you right away. It wasn’t my decision to make, I have no right to withhold information about your children from you, I-”

“San Lang.” Xie Lian interrupts him. “Give me a second, please.”

Hua Cheng falls silent. Xie Lian doesn’t mean to be rude, it’s just that he’s shocked, confused, scared and angry, and he needs some time to process it in order not to lash out. Xie Lian thinks for a long, long time.

“You did well.” He says, finally. He looks up at Hua Cheng and finds him already looking back, eye wide and searching. He looks uncharacteristically unsure of himself, sitting gingerly on the edge of his chair, as if scared Xie Lian might decide that Hua Cheng did overstep and kick him out of the house. Looking at him, Xie Lian understands that, perhaps, his carefully arranged plan of letting Hua Cheng go needs some changes. It doesn’t look like Hua Cheng wants to go and Xie Lian feels like he’s just lost his footing, so he’s not ready to force him away.

“I… did?” Hua Cheng asks quietly, blinking up at Xie Lian, looking small and sad, and devastatingly handsome in Xie Lian’s kitchen.

“You did.” Xie Lian squeezes Hua Cheng’s hand that he’s been holding this whole time, apparently. “Thank you for treating her like an adult. She’d probably freak out if you called me right away and it would look like an intervention, or something. It’s better like this. I’m glad she trusts you.”

“It’s not like she opened up all by herself.” Hua Cheng shrugs. “I caught her.”

“If she didn’t want to, she wouldn’t talk even if you begged.” Xie Lian says. “Which, I might have to do right about now.”

“She wants to talk to you.” Hua Cheng assures him. “Or, she wants you to talk to her.”

“Does she?” Xie Lian sighs. “Because it doesn’t seem very likely. Especially after I made that stupid bullying comment in the morning. Gods, I’m such an idiot.”

“You’re not.” Hua Cheng says with such conviction that Xie Lian almost believes him.

“Thank you.” He says softly. “I’ll go, now. You don’t have to stay.”

“Do you want me to?” Hua Cheng asks.

Xie Lian is so tired suddenly, so weak and angry, his heart breaking in his chest for his little girl. He can’t bring himself to lie.

“No.” He says. “I want you to stay.”

***

Xie Lian knocks on Yina’s door, which is open just a crack, like it always is. It’s probably a good sign, or Xie Lian just wants to believe so.

“You don’t have to be so dramatic, dad.” Yina groans. “Just come in.”

Xie Lian does, though he doesn’t agree with her in the slightest. He thinks he has every reason to be dramatic – his child, his little girl is being bullied at school and he had no idea. He’d still be none the wiser if not for Hua Cheng. Is he losing the grip on his family already?

“Hey, darling.” He says, looking around Yina’s room. It’s as pretty as it always is and it makes Xie Lian want to cry. What kind of people would hurt a girl with a Totoro poster on her wall and plushies on her bed and chipped porcelain cup on her messy bedside table? What kind of monster would hurt his girl?

“Dad.” Yina sighs. “Stop being creepy.”

Xie Lian smiles and sits down next to her on her bed.

“So, you think I’m cool?” He starts, hoping to make Yina smile, and relaxes a little as she does.

“I think you're a loser, obviously.” Yina says.

“Obviously.” Xie Lian nods. “So why didn’t you tell me about bullying?”

“That’s not-” Yina looks at him shortly. “That’s not proper bullying, you know. They don’t try to do anything awful, they only laugh.”

“And only spread the video. And only prevent you from going to class. That’s more than enough.”

Yina doesn’t say anything. Xie Lian sighs and places his hand on her knee.

“What about Xiao Mei?” He asks. “She’s your friend, isn’t she?”

“She doesn’t laugh.” Yina shrugs. “But doesn’t say anything to others. Not that she has to.”

“Well, someone has to.” Xie Lian says. “I know you’ll hate it, but I’m going to your school tomorrow.”

“Dad.” Yina says. “Do you think they’ll make the whole school shut up? No one can do that. What they’ll do, maximum, is hold a meeting where they’ll talk about how bad bullying is, and then everyone will hate me, not only laugh at me.”

“Darling, I can’t just let it go.”

“So you want to make it worse?”

Xie Lian definitely doesn’t want to make it worse. He doesn’t know if he can make himself sit still and do nothing while Yina can’t even come to the gym class.

“How can I make it easier for you?” He asks finally.

“Make me brave?” Yina asks in a small voice. “So when everyone laughs next time I step in there I don’t feel small and stupid and like I smell like puke.”

Xie Lian tugs his daughter close to his chest and breathes in. Her hair smells like grapes.

“You’re brave.” He says. “Why don’t we buy you a new gym outfit? And you don’t have to do anything too taxing during class, even if it means your grade will drop.”

“You suggest I half-ass PE?” Yina smirks. “While wearing something pretty?”

“Yes.” Xie Lian says. “That’s exactly what I suggest. And maybe we should ask San Lang to take you with him on his morning runs? So you can get a bit physically stronger?”

“You think he’ll agree?”

“I think he might.” Xie Lian nods. “And if he doesn’t, I’ll run with you myself.”

“Or I can attend your martial art classes for babies.” Yina laughs. “I’ll at least be stronger than them.”

“You’ll have so much fun throwing ten year olds around, huh?”

“Yeah,” Yina sighs. “I will.”

They talk for a while longer. Xie Lian reluctantly agrees not to go to school, for now. Yina promises to tell him things that bother her right away. Xie Lian doesn’t really feel like the situation is resolved, but at least Yina is honest with him, and they’re talking. That’s what matters, he keeps telling himself.

“Did I ruin your date with San Lang?” Yina asks some time later. Xie Lian freezes.

“Why would I go on a date with San Lang?”

“Because you like him?” Yina raises an eyebrow at him. “Because you asked Xuan-ge and Shi Qingxuan take us away for the evening?”

“Ah.” Xie Lian looks down at the soft carpet under his feet. “I was actually going to ask him to stop coming over?”

“Why on earth would you do that?”

“Well, he only came here to see if he wanted a big family of his own and I feel like I’ve been taking advantage of him. Instead of helping, you know?”

“Oh, dad.” Yina has that expression on her face that makes Xie Lian feel very old.

“What?”

“Listen. You can’t ask him to stop whatever it is that’s going on between you two.”

“Why?”

“Because he’ll listen, and you’ll stop seeing him.”

“Well, that’s the plan?”

“It’s a stupid plan.” Yina rolls her eyes. “If you worry about taking advantage — talk to him about it. But don’t make him leave.”

“Yina.” Xie Lian says, trying not to sound like he’s lecturing her. “It’s not that simple. I can’t make him a permanent presence in our lives against his will.”

“Then just ask him if he’s willing.” Yina says, as if it’s simple.

“Alright.” Xie Lian says. “We’ll see.”

“Is he still here?”

“I don’t know. Probably.”

Yina smiles softly.

“Then go and make dinner together.” She says. “I have homework.”

Xie Lian finds Hua Cheng in the kitchen, cleaning his stove. There’s music, and for a second Xie Lian isn’t sure where it’s coming from, but then he sees Hua Cheng’s phone lying in the middle of the dining table. Hua Cheng doesn’t see him at first, so Xie Lian takes a moment to just look at him. He watches his relaxed posture, his strong back clad in a soft red sweater, his heavy, silky black hair.

Hua Cheng hums along with the song. He has a nice voice.

Xie Lian tries to imagine his life without him and for a short, terrifying second he can’t do it. Then, he realizes that he just doesn’t want to. He’s selfish and he’s stupid.

“Is gege going to just look at me and not say a thing?” Hua Cheng asks, not turning around. “I’ve been worrying about you.”

“Why?”

“Because you looked anxious before you left.” Hua Cheng drops the sponge and looks at Xie Lian. “Is everything alright?”

“We talked.” Xie Lian nods. “I think it went well. She doesn’t want me to go to school, though.”

“Are you okay with that?”

“I don’t know.” Xie Lian admits. “You know, San Lang, how people say that they love all their children the same?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not exactly true.” Xie Lian takes a step closer to Hua Cheng, hoping that closer proximity will help him relay his feelings. “Usually, you love the kid that currently needs you the most more. I know it sounds crazy, and I love all my kids so, so much. But when Biming had a fever last year and he had to stay in the hospital, I felt like I loved him the most. And when A-Daiyu used to wake up screaming every night I felt like I loved her the most. And now my heart is breaking over Yina, and I don’t know if I can love anyone more than I love her. So I just can’t stop worrying. I want to hold her and protect her and never let go. I’m not okay with staying put and letting her fight all by herself. And I’m not making any sense, am I?”

Hua Cheng is silent for a moment, and then he takes two big steps and wraps Xie Lian in his arms.

“You’re making perfect sense.” He whispers. Xie Lian inhales and melts against Hua Cheng’s firm chest. He smells of wool, tobacco and Xie Lian’s dishsoap. “You have so much love inside of you that it can’t fit in your heart all at once. I think it’s marvelous. You are a marvel.”

Xie Lian’s eyes fill with tears.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” He asks, his voice cracking.

“More than anything else in the world.”

Chapter Text

Hua Cheng is glad things went smoothly with Xie Lian and Yina. It looks like he managed not to fuck up the situation too badly and somehow emerge with neither Xie Lian nor Yina angry with him. It’s good. 

It’s a little scary how much of a relief it is.

He hates to break the hug but he’d hate to overstep more, so he steps away, leads Xie Lian to the table, helps him sit and only allows himself a short, gentle touch to his shoulder. 

“Would gege like some tea?” Hua Cheng asks in a quiet voice. 

Xie Lian is silent for a long moment and then shakes his head. 

“I need to start on dinner. Yina is going to be hungry when she finishes her homework.” He says. 

Hua Cheng frowns and steps away to boil the water. 

“You need to rest. Maybe take a short nap. I will make dinner.”

Xie Lian sighs, but luckily doesn’t argue. He doesn’t say anything at all until he has drunk his first cup of tea.

“You don’t have to make dinner. You’ve already cooked for kids today. You can’t…”

Hua Cheng isn’t sure what to say. So he stays silent.

“You can’t enjoy cooking all of our meals.”

“I do.” Hua Cheng answers without pausing, without thinking. Yes, he’s not too keen on cooking generally, and he rarely cooks for himself, but providing for this little family is one of few things that make him happy in his otherwise pretty dull life. 

“It gets repetitive soon.” Xie Lian continues, eyes downcast. “Even if you really, really enjoy cooking, once it becomes your responsibility to cook three full meals for your kids every single day it becomes a chore, an awful chore.”

“I get it.” Hua Cheng says, even though he doesn’t, not really. But he feels that Xie Lian is not in a space to explain parenting things to him right now. He’s tired and maybe he just needs to vent. 

“And after a while you won’t want to cook anymore. But you can’t just stop. Even when it sometimes feels like you’d rather starve than touch the stove you still have to cook and instead of enjoying the process you just… hate every single moment of it.”

“Then,” Hua Cheng says after a moment. “When you feel like that, you call me. And I’ll cook. And if I feel like that, we order take out.” 

Xie Lian makes a thin kind of noise, hiding his face in his hands. Hua Cheng feels a sudden urge to fall on his knees next to his chair and beg for him to explain what he said wrong.

“Gege?” He ends up saying. 

“For how long can you do it?”

“I’m sorry?” Hua Cheng frowns and sits himself on the chair opposite of Xie Lian.

“Because you’ve been doing it for about a month now and it’s not that long. But what about three months? Half a year? At some point you will get exhausted. When you don’t have time for yourself, like, at all! You forget that there’re things to do that are just for you! You don’t even remember to get your hair cut, or-”

Xie Lian stops and breathes heavily for a moment. Hua Cheng waits. He’s not patient person by nature, but it’s easy to be one for Xie Lian. 

“I’m sorry.” Xie Lian says. “You’ve been a huge help. Things have really been better with you here and it’s so easy to get used to something good. I guess I just let myself relax and…”

“Wish for something for yourself?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

He sounds so small. Hua Cheng curses internally. In his pursuit to spend as much time with Xie Lian as he could, he never thought about what Xie Lian might want. And evidently it’s some time alone. He maybe wishes Xie Lian wanted some time alone with him, especially after what he said earlier about them having dinner together, but he won’t be selfish. He will provide. 

“Then gege should have the whole Saturday to himself.” Hua Cheng decides. 

“What?” Xie Lian looks up, frowning. 

“Saturday.” Hua Cheng repeats. “Did you have anything planned?”

“N-no?”

“Great.” Hua Cheng is already planning, and, to his satisfaction, everything comes together easily. “Then it’s settled. I’ll spend the whole day with kids and you can do whatever you like.”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian sighs. “I can’t ask that of you.”

“Did you?”

“What?”

“Ask that of me.”

Xie Lian gives him an unimpressed look. 

“Exactly.” Hua Cheng concludes, feeling pretty smug. “Plus, I promised A-Daiyu to watch all the Mulan movies together. So it’s a win-win situation, really.”

“San Lang is a crazy man.” 

“Completely insane.” Hua Cheng agrees. 

Xie Lian seems to have accepted his fate, because his shoulders relax slightly and he even gives Hua Cheng a small smile. 

“But really, thank you. I’ll finally have time to pick up Yina’s new reading glasses and get my car washed, and oh!-”

“Wait, gege.” Hua Cheng interrupts him gently, feeling amused and a little sad at the same time. “None of it sounds like relaxation.”

“But I need to do it.”

“No. You need it to be done. And it will be done. Just not by you.”

“San Lang.”

“No, none of it. Make a list and we’ll make a fun trip out of it with little ones. You are doing absolutely nothing on saturday.”

Xie Lian gives him a very dubious look, but Hua Cheng is determined not to fail. He’s going to prove both to Xie Lian and to himself that he can do it. 

Eventually, they make dinner and even have a half-pleasant conversation with Yina, where it’s decided she’ll be running with Hua Cheng in the mornings from now on. She insists that she can follow his schedule and run every day, which is obviously a lie, if an unintentional one. But it wouldn’t be productive to discourage her, so Hua Cheng just tells her to be ready next morning by six. By now he knows how long their morning routine takes and he’s planning to get her back home by six-fourty five to be able to help Xie Lian with the rush and drop off.  

Xie Lian is watching him with a very distracting smile all the while, but it’s a futile thought to address it. He can’t do it in front of Yina and soon enough He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan arrive, accompanied by A-Daiyu’s loud complaints about how Shi Qingxuan drives in a way that makes her carsick. Hua Cheng must really be a pathetically possessive person, because he suddenly wants to never let anyone drive her places except for himself. And her actual dad, of course.

“How were they?” Xie Lian asks. 

“I’m sure they were perfect.” Hua Cheng answers before anyone else can. He stands up and reaches for Biming, who’s busy tugging on He Xuan’s ugly hair. 

“How would you know?” He Xuan asks, stepping away and not passing him the child. Asshole. “You weren’t there.”

“Oh? Was it so hard?” Hua Cheng steps closer once again. “Then you’re excused from taking them out for dinners in the future. I’ll gladly do it myself.”

“Fuck you, they were perfect.” He Xuan spits. 

“Fuck-” A-Daiyu starts, but is quickly interrupted by Shi Qingxuan. 

“Baby! What did we learn today?”

“Xuan-ge is ancient old, so he is allowed bad words.”

“And you?” Shi Qingxuan presses. 

“And I’m as fresh as a little flower!” A-Daiyu beams. 

“That’s right!”

“When did we agree on the ancient part?” He Xuan asks indignantly. 

While he is distracted, Hua Cheng steals Biming away, kisses his soft curls and starts undressing him before he falls asleep. 

“Oh, San Lang, wait, give him to me!” Xie Lian jumps up and hurries towards them, patting A-Daiyu’s head on his way. 

“Why?” Hua Cheng’s pout is only partly fake.

“He needs a bath.”

“Oh.”

He doesn’t know how to give a small child a bath. 

“Will gege teach me how to do it?”

“That’s okay, I can do it myself.”

“But how will I do it on saturday, if you don’t teach me?”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian laughs. “Biming can manage without a bath for a couple of hours.”

As if Hua Cheng would settle for just couple of hours.

“Still?” He conjures the most pleading look he can manage. “Can I learn? For later?”

“Fucking simp.” He Xuan grunts. 

“Fresh as a little flower.” A-Daiyu says quite forcefully. 

Xie Lian gives him a very efficient lesson in child-bathing and even lets Hua Cheng put Biming to sleep all by himself. 

***

Next morning Hua Cheng takes Yina on her first run. 

He wears his usual running clothes – black shorts and a tight-fitting maroon tank top, and doesn’t miss Xie Lian’s short, but appreciative look. It makes his blood boil and he’s afraid he’ll have to run circles for the next hour to burn some of the excitement off. 

Yina is expectantly grumpy as she comes down the stairs. Her hair is in a tight bun for once and there’s absolutely no glitter on her face. She looks particularly young like this and Hua Cheng, not for the first time, thinks of storming her school and giving her bullies something to be truly afraid of. 

The run itself goes more or less well. Yina is slow, which is normal for the beginner she is, but is determined, at least in the beginning, and Hua Cheng praises her excessively. For someone so snarky, she definitely responds better to gentle encouragement. Not that he’d ever dare to critique her. 

“We’ve been running for hours.” Yina complains, not even thirty minutes later. “Surely I’m late for school already.” 

“You’re not.” Hua Cheng snorts, not even a little winded. “We’re halfway through. Come on, let’s turn around and run back home .”

Yina stops in her tracks and pants, looking up at Hua Cheng as if he’s lost his mind.

“No.” She says. Hua Cheng stops as well and starts running on the spot.

“Eloquent.” 

“No, I mean it. I’m not running all the way back. I thought we were making a- a circle or something and were on our way back for the last fifteen minutes! At least!” 

“Yina.” Hua Cheng laughs. “It’s been like, twenty minutes total and does it look like we’re on our way back?”

Yina looks around and frowns. 

“I was too busy dying to watch where we were going.” She says as if it makes perfect sense. “Let’s call a cab.”

Hua Cheng doubts a taxi driver would be thrilled by a very sweaty teenager sprawling across their backseat. 

“Tell you what.” He says, after a moment of thinking. “We’re pretty close to my studio now. If we run for ten more minutes, I’ll drive you home.”

“Ten more minutes?” Yina groans. “And why is your car not parked near your house?”

“The minivan is.” Hua Cheng smiles slowly. “But I left my Corvette at work since I can’t put little ones in there.”

“Shut up!” Yina gasps. “Corvette? Like a Chevrolet Corvette?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re fucking with me.” 

“Run for ten more minutes and find out.”

Yina runs so fast Hua Cheng is afraid she’s going to be sick again. Then, she sees his customized, bright-red Chevrolet and actually goes a little pale. Hua Cheng laughs so hard his stomach start hurting. 

“How rich are you?” Yina demands, getting on the passenger seat as soon as Hua Cheng unlocks the doors. 

“Pretty rich.” He answers, as he gets inside at much more sedate pace. 

“Were you hiding it?” 

“It just never came up.”

“Right.” Yina says. “San Lang. You gotta marry my dad. You gotta marry my dad and buy me the exact same car.”

Hua Cheng chokes on air and gives the baffling teenager in his car a shocked kind of look, but she isn’t looking at him, busy taking selfies. It gives him enough time to get his heart settled.

“If you help me marry your dad you’re getting any car you want for your eighteen’s birthday.” 

“Deal!” Yina sequels, still taking selfies. 

Hua Cheng sighs. 

“Do you want to take pictures on the driving seat?” He asks. Yina flies out of the car without answering. Hua Cheng climbs out, too, holding the door open for her. 

“Do not touch the start button.” He says in his strictest tone. Yina ignores him completely. 

For the whole duration of the photoshoot Hua Cheng stands right in front of the bumper, in case she does touch the button. It would be much easier to be run over than to explain to Xie Lian why he let his sixteen-year-old drive a sportscar. 

Chapter Text

Xie Lian forgets completely about Hua Cheng’s proposition until the man himself shows up on Friday evening with significantly more bags than their usual dinner-and-movie routine warrants.

In Xie Lian’s defense, the week has been extra busy. It all started with Hua Cheng and Yina's first running session. Precisely, with them coming back not on foot, as one would expect, but in a car that makes Xie Lian question his sanity. He could swear he has never been a particularly material man, but as he watched Hua Cheng, in all his devastating beauty, park that car in his driveway, his brain provided him with such vivid images that all he could do was run back home and take a very cold shower. He wasn’t supposed to feel that way about a friend. He was just a little confused, because Hua Cheng kept helping him around the house, watching his kids and making him laugh all the while looking like a God with an extremely expensive sportscar. Xie Lian has long forgotten what it was like to own something truly fancy and Hua Cheng was the fanciest man imaginable, and it was messing with his head.

He will get over it. Probably. 

He didn’t get a chance to get over it during the week, though, because Yina apparently asked Hua Cheng to pick her up from school. When Xie Lian questioned it, she just smirked and mumbled something about jealousy, which was probably worth addressing, but after the whole bullying accident he was just glad to see her somewhat excited to go to school. 

It turned out Hua Cheng was of the same mind, because he came up with a frankly exhausting scheme where he would pick up A-Dayiu in the minivan, drop her off at Shi Qingxuan’s studio, then pick up Yina in the Corvette, drive back to pick up A-Dayiu, and drive both girls home in the minivan again. When Xie Lian tried to intervene and explain to him how all of it was completely unnecessary, he simply wouldn’t hear it, so Xie Lian had to let it go. At least it wasn’t him doing this elaborate picking up. 

Not like he would have time for it anyway, because work has been abundant lately and he had three new kids in his material art class. As if it wasn’t enough, Biming starts teething, again. He Xuan has taken to freezing his teethers and thankfully it does help, but only for a while. 

And now Xie Lian, properly exhausted and barely awake, is staring at Hua Cheng’s many bags, trying to remember if they planned something special. 

“Gege looks tired.” Hua Cheng notes, a small frown on his beautiful face. 

“Gege is tired.” He laughs. “San Lang should think twice before having children. They only look sweet, secretly they are monsters.”

Hua Cheng smiles as he steps inside, looking relaxed and so at home. It’s doing things to Xie Lian.

“Then gege is lucky his own monster hunter has arrived.”

“Lucky indeed. San Lang can have all the monsters tonight, I’m not going to help him even a little.”

Xie Lian is joking, of course, but Hua Cheng nods at him as if he is making perfect sense. 

“Of course.” He says. “How would you help if you aren’t here?”

Xie Lian blinks at him. Hua Cheng begins unpacking one of his bags. It seems to contain an alarming amount of popcorn.

“Where am I, then?” 

“On your well-deserved day off. Have you forgotten?”

“Ah.”

“Gege!” Hua Cheng pouts. “And here I made so many plans for it.”

“But San Lang, didn’t we talk about Saturday?”

“Yes,” Hua Cheng’s smile is sly and smug, and it’s a dangerous combination. Unfortunately, Xie Lian seems to like it that way. “But what kind of a day off starts with three crying children?”

“I don’t cry in the morning!” Yina cries from the living room.

“I only cry sometimes!” A-Dayiu joins her. 

Xie Lian sighs. 

“Stop eavesdropping!” Hua Cheng cries back, but his tone is pleased and laughing. He’ll never get them to listen to him if he doesn’t toughen up. “See what I’m talking about, gege?” 

“My kids are annoying.” He agrees. “That’s hardly news to me. And hardly something you can fix.”

“And here is where you’re mistaken.” Hua Cheng smiles triumphantly at him and hands him a… set of keys.

“What is it?” Xie Lian’s heart starts beating a little faster. 

“Keys to my loft.” 

“No.”

“Yes.” Hua Cheng reaches for Xie Lian’s hand with his free one and lifts it enough to force the keys into his slack palm. “Gege is going to have a real day off. He is going to sleep in, have the loft to himself for the whole day, and indulge in every little lazy thing he can imagine.”

“San Lang.” Xie Lian says, because he doesn’t know where to start. It’s a joke. It must be! No one sane would volunteer for a sleepover with three children. He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan sometimes risk it, but even they usually only take two out of three! 

“Crazy, I know.” Hua Cheng smirks.

“You’re-!”

“Insane? Mad? A lunatic?”

“Yes! All of these things!” Xie Lian huffs. “Biming is teething! A-Dayiu will cry for me when it’s her bedtime!”

“I will not!” A-Dayiu yells. 

“Go do your homework!” Xie Lian barks. There’s some muffled giggling and a hurried, retreating steps. 

“Well that was hot.” Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow at him. “Gege’s gotta teach me how to do that.”

“You’re too soft.” Xie Lian waves him off, carefully ignoring the hot part. “That’s why I can’t leave you with kids for the whole night.”

“And day.” Hua Cheng adds. “You’re not to come home till tomorrow evening.”

“No.”

“Does gege not trust his San Lang?” And here is the pout. Of course. Xie Lian has three kids, how is he still so susceptible to pouts of all things. 

“It’s not that.” He says in a gentler tone. “San Lang, I don’t trust they’ll behave. They will wear you out. And I will have to come back in the middle of the night.”

“I would never disturb gege’s sleep if I can help it.” Hua Cheng says. “Besides, He Xuan does it and he is not a better babysitter than I am.”

“He has Shi Qingxuan to help and they never take all three of them!”

“I can take all three.” Hua Cheng says, squinting his eye. “I can take all three and a dog.”

“Shh!” Xie Lian raises his hands. “The universe might hear you! We are not getting a dog.”

Xie Lian does trust Hua Cheng. He knows he is good with kids. And it’s not like he would be too mad if he had to come back in the middle of the night if one of the kids had trouble sleeping, it’s just that Hua Cheng might not want to help anymore once he experiences the whole spectrum of three spoiled children. 

And also, Xie Lian will worry. He worries every time any of his kids are out of his eyesight, but all of them, and for the whole night, it’s–

“Xie Lian.” Hua Cheng never calls him by his name, so it easily gets him out of his thoughts. “You’re a great parent. But if you don’t have a rest you’re going to lose your mind. Your kids deserve better than that. You deserve better than that.”

“Well, yes, but-”

Hua Cheng doesn’t let him finish.

“I know you’re going to worry anyway. So let’s look at it this way – you’re in the same city, practically in the same neighborhood. If anything at all happens, you’ll be here in fifteen minutes. I’m a light sleeper, but in case any of the little ones wake up and I don’t, you have video nannies in their rooms, right?”

Xie Lian processes it. Hua Cheng isn’t wrong. Xie Lian is just anxious. And he is also so, so tired. 

“I turned the one in A-Dayiu’s room off.” He mumbles, and Hua Cheng takes it as the surrender it is. 

“We’ll turn it back on.”

“San Lang, but are you sure?”

“I am, gege.”

And he does sound sure. This easy confidence lulls Xie Lian’s worries at least to some extent. 

“Alright then.”

“Great. Now gege is going to write down a  list of errands he meant to do tomorrow while I make him tea.”

Xie Lian doesn’t even try to argue. Besides, he is positive that Hua Cheng won’t manage to get this far anyway. Once the list is done and the tea is finished, they gather the kids in the living room to give them the news. Xie Lian half expects a mutiny of some kind. 

“What a great idea, San Lang!” Yina smiles brightly. She is sixteen. She is never this excited about a night in with her younger siblings. 

“You’re in cahoots.” Xie Lian accuses her and Hua Cheng immediately. “Why are you in cahoots?”

“Wow, rude.” Yina says. “Maybe because we care about you, you paranoiac?” 

“Talk about rude.” Hua Cheng sighs. “But she is right, gege. We do care.”

“A-Dayiu, what do you think?” Xie Lian turns to his younger daughter. “Will you be okay If I stay somewhere else tonight?”

“Where?”

“At San Lang’s place.”

“Do I get to visit San Lang’s home?”

“Sure.” Hua Cheng walks up to where she’s sitting on the floor by the low table and pats her head. “Just not tomorrow.”

“Why? What’s tomorrow?” 

Xie Lian sighs. 

“A-Dayiu, are you okay with that?” He repeats. 

“Sure.” His daughter shrugs. “Can I call you If I miss you?”

“Yes, always.”

A-Dayiu nods and goes back to her coloring book. Biming, still gnawing on his frozen teether, starts crying in his playpen, making both girls groan.

“He’s probably hungry.” Xie Lian laments. “I’ll just-”

“You will just go and pack your things.” Hua Cheng says sternly. “I will make him something to eat.” 

With that, Hua Cheng easily hoists up a screaming child into his hands and walks away in the direction of the kitchen. Xie Lian is left there looking after him. 

“Dad.” Yina says, smiling quite exasperatedly. “Go.”

Xie Lian goes. 

Once all his necessities are gathered and he’s talked to girls two more times – which resulted in a great annoyance on their end – Xie Lian is as ready to leave as he’ll ever be. 

“-and the first-aid kit is in the bathroom, if you need it.” He finishes with instructions under Hua Cheng's laughing gaze. 

“Gege, I will pick you up and carry you to the car now.” 

“I’m going, I’m going!” Xie Lian yelps. “Geez, kicked out of my own house!”

His words earn him a round of laughter from everyone except for grumpy Biming. Will they even miss him at all? From all the snacks Hua Cheng has brought it seems highly unlikely. 

“Will gege mind taking my car tonight?” Hua Cheng asks, as he walks him to the door.

“Why?”

“We’ll need Biming’s seat tomorrow and it’s easier to just swap cars than to move it.”

Xie Lian does not remember how to set up the seat. He readily agrees. But when he walks around the car, expecting to see Hua Cheng’s rented minivan, what he sees instead is-

“San Lang!” He gasps. “I can’t.”

“Of course you can.” Hua Cheng smirks, tossing him the keys. Xie Lian catches them instinctively, but stays stubbornly put. 

“What if I scratch it?” He asks anxiously. 

“Scratch it.” Hua Cheng shrugs. “As long as you’re unharmed I don’t care. It’s just a car.”

Xie Lian closes his eyes and breathes for a second. Just a car. 

“You’re-” He starts. 

“Crazy?”

“That, too.” Xie Lian whispers, but he walks to the car.

He leaves his bag on the backseat and then spends a minute adjusting the seat for himself – he is not quite as tall as Hua Cheng after all. Only after that does he close the door, buckle up and roll down the window to say his goodbyes. 

“Is gege ready for his day off, then?” Hua Cheng bends down elegantly, resting his hands on the low roof and looking at Xie Lian a little from above. He is so close. And his car smells so nice. 

“Yes.” He says quietly. “Thank you, San Lang.”

“Thank you for letting me do it.” Hua Cheng says right away. “Have fun. And text me once you’re in the loft.”

“I will.”

Xie Lian drives slowly at first, cautious, but in a couple of minutes it dawns on him: he’s in Hua Cheng’s Corvette, driving to Hua Cheng’s apartment, and he is going to spend the night there. It sends a thrill down his spine and he lets himself gain speed. The car really is too comfortable, too smooth. It makes Xie Lian feel exhilarated and brave and young. It makes something hot steer in his belly. 

He arrives too fast, and is almost ready to turn back and drive for a while longer, but he is too curious about Hua Cheng’s place. So he parks the car carefully and walks a short way to a tall, modern-looking apartment building. It’s certainly impressive in itself, but when the elevator takes Xie Lian to the last floor, and he enters the loft, his mouth falls open. It looks like Hua Cheng has moved half of his studio here – even from the threshold he can see a half finished oil painting, several charcoal ones and what looks like a medium-sized block of marble. How did he even drag it all the way up here?

Minutely distracted by a space that screams Hua Cheng, Xie Lian forgets that he was meant to text the man himself. He loses himself first in his painting and then in the breathtaking view out of his panoramic window. He doesn’t know how much time passes when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

Has gege arrived?

He doesn’t bother with answering and instead calls Hua Cheng.

“San Lang!” He exclaims. “Your place is beautiful! All the art and the view, it’s amazing!”

“Clearly gege is the most beautiful thing in that pile of trash.” Hua Cheng’s low rumble makes Xie Kian’s knees go weak. “But I’m glad the loft’s sufficient.”

“Sufficient? San Lang, it’s so much more than that!”

Hua Cheng laughs and then seems to lean away from the phone to say something to one of the kids.

“How are you?” Xie Lian asks hurriedly. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, gege.” Hua Cheng sounds like he is smiling. “I’m making dinner, A-Dayiu is helping me here. And Yina is playing with Biming in the living room. Though I think she’s mostly on her phone and Biming is just entertained enough by all the sounds from videos she’s watching.”

Xie Lian laughs and feels his shoulders relax at Hua Cheng’s detailed report. 

“Of course. I should’ve known you’d be fine. Thank you for not calling me a mother hen.”

“I’d never call gege names.” Hua Cheng gasps. Xie Lian is glad he is in high enough spirits to joke. “But I have to get back to the chicken, gege, or else A-Dayiu is going to improvise with seasoning and I really don’t want to wash it off. Again.”

“Go,” Xie Lian laughs. “Call me if you need me.”

“Sure. Don’t worry about us. Rest, please. I stocked the fridge, but there’re also take out menus on the kitchen counter. All the towels are fresh, as well as the bedding. All the closets and wardrobes are yours to take whatever you like from.”

“San Lang is spoiling me.” Xie Lian says quietly. He feels…

“I try.”

“You’re succeeding.”

“Barely.” Hua Cheng’s voice is so low over the phone. “Gege deserves much more than just that.”

He feels loved.

Xie Lian says his goodbyes, hangs up the phone and hurries to find a bathroom. Surely a shower will help him gather his thoughts back together and stop fantasizing. 

Chapter Text

Shower helps Xie Lian for exactly two hours it takes him to eat a bowl of rice and vegetables from Hua Cheng’s fridge, call the man himself to check up on kids, and crawl into a spacious, silk-covered bed with a book he finds on the bedside table. 

Then, it catches up with him — the ride in that sinful car, Hua Cheng’s low voice over the phone, unexpected yet deeply needed solitude. Soft, red silk sheets of Hua Cheng’s bed. 

Hua Cheng’s bed. The bed where he sleeps every night. And if Xie Lian knows Hua Cheng at all, the bed where he sleeps naked every night. Xie Lian drops the book on his lap and groans. 

Is he really this- this shameless? One night away from his crazy gaggle of kids and he’s ready to do something like that in his friend’s bed? Xie Lian slides lower, burrowing his face in a soft pillow and breathing shallowly. 

He can almost feel Hua Cheng’s warmth, can almost smell him in between his sheets. He turns to lie on his stomach and breathes in deeper. He doesn’t move, it’s just that the silk is slippery and his hips maybe shift up and down a little, trying to get comfortable. 

Xie Lian sighs, overwhelmed with heat that’s been simmering in his abdomen ever since he’s gotten in the Corvette. Maybe if he let go just a little it wouldn’t be so bad? Maybe-

No. No, it would be disgustingly inappropriate. When Hua Cheng let him into his apartment he surely didn’t want him to do something like that and Xie Lian isn’t that bad of a friend. He’s going to respect Hua Cheng’s boundaries. He’s going to turn around, lie on his back and read that book. 

His phone rings. Xie Lian reaches out for where it lays on the bedside table blindly and accepts the call without so much as lifting his head. 

“Gege?” Hua Cheng’s voice is so-

“Hey, San Lang. Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’ve just put little ones to sleep and left Yina to finish her homework.”

“She’s not doing her homework on Friday night, San Lang.” Xie Lian snorts. 

“She said she would.”

“Check on her in fifteen minutes and you’ll find her on her phone.”

“Ugh.”

Xie Lian just has to laugh at him. 

“Gege.” Hua Cheng groans. Xie Lian freezes. “Don’t laugh. It’s my first time being a single parent. You’re being cruel.”

Xie Lian’s breath catches in his throat. It’s not him who’s being cruel. 

“You’ll wether.” 

Hua Cheng sounds quietly amused when he speaks next. 

“Gege speaks harsh words yet his voice is so soft.”

Such a flirt. 

“San Lang should go to sleep. He has a long day tomorrow.”

“I will, I will.” Hua Cheng laughs. Xie Lian fights the whimper threatening to come out every time he hears that low tone of his voice. “You should go to bed, too.”

“I am in bed.”

“Oh?” Xie Lian should not have said that. “How does gege like my bed?”

“It’s very comfortable.” Xie Lian mumbles in the pillow.

“Come again?”

“It’s comfortable.”

“Mhm.” Hua Cheng sounds smug. “Gege should make sure to use that comfortable bed to-”

Xie Lian wants to scream. 

“Goodbye, San Lang. Call me if you need me.” 

“I’ll be calling you every minute, then.”

This man! Impossible! 

“I’m hanging up.” 

Xie Lian does hang up, bitterly interrupting Hua Cheng’s gorgeous, gorgeous laughter. Unfortunately, after that he is unable to hold on to any semblance of propriety. 

He’ll just make sure to burn from shame tomorrow. 

***

Hua Cheng checks on A-Dayiu, who’s sleeping covered head to toe under two blankets, then on Biming, who’s sleeping too, albeit fretfully. He knocks on Yina’s door next, even though it’s never locked or even fully closed. 

“What?” Yina raises her head from where she’s been staring at what seems to be a math book. “Need help with dishes?”

There are a lot of dishes. Hua Cheng had never imagined that one single dinner could warrant such a mess. 

“No, I’ve got it.” He says. “Your dad said you would ditch homework cause it’s un-teenage-like to study on Friday night.”

“Oh, I’ve got a can beer under the bed.” Yina smirks. “Heard you come in and grabbed the first thing I saw, you know?”

“Sure.” Hua Cheng laughs. “Such a rebel.”

“Yep. That’s me.”

“Let me know if you need any help with your… beer.”

Yina waves him off and Hua Cheng leaves, still smiling. Sure, he’s got at least two hours of cleaning ahead, but all the kids are accounted for, fed, washed and put into their bedrooms and isn’t it a huge success? 

Putting a video nanny on the counter and checking that both little ones are still asleep, Hua Cheng gets to cleaning. He does dishes first, then wipes all the horizontal surfaces, then realizes that little, oily handprints do not differentiate between horizontal and vertical surfaces, so he wipes those too. Cleaning off kitchen cabinets brings him closer to the floor and, well. 

By the time he’s done he understands Xie Lian a little better — it’s barely midnight and he’s ready to fall asleep standing up. He never goes to bed this early. Kids really can wear anyone out, huh? 

After taking a quick shower Hua Cheng informs Yina that it’s time to get ready for bed and is ready to follow his own advice and crash out on the couch, when the silence of the house is interrupted by a loud crush from A-Dayiu’s room. He’s in there not even five seconds later, slamming the light switch and looking around in panic. 

“Daddy?” A-Dayiu mumbles from under the heap of blankets on the floor. 

“Oh, shit.” Hua Cheng whispers. “Hey, did you fall? Are you okay?”

He untangles the blankets and fishes out a sleepy, disgruntled kid. She really is small for her age, fitting in his arms like she’s still just a baby. 

“San Lang? Where’s daddy?”

Shit. He will not wake Xie Lian up. He’s not that incompetent. 

“It’s your San Lang on duty tonight, remember?”

“Oh.” A-Dayiu frowns. “But I fell.”

“You did, baby.” Hua Cheng nods. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“No. But I think I broke something.”

For a second Hua Cheng’s mind is sent into white-hot panic mode, but then he notices a piece of plastic. He lifts the blanket from the floor and sighs in relief. 

“It was just a toy. It’s alright.” He shifts A-Dayiu in his arms so she can see for herself. 

It turns out to be a big mistake. 

“My Hammer!” A-Dayiu cries out in a shrill voice.

Before Hua Cheng can so much as blink she’s already crawling out of his arms and onto the floor, unearthing all the pieces of broken car toy, crying all the while. 

Hua Cheng is so lost. He thinks he’s saying something but it’s incomprehensible even to himself, and A-Dayiu seems to have forgotten completely that he’s even here. 

“What-” Yina steps into the room, looking annoyed for a moment before her face changes into something truly scared. “Oh, shit. Tell me it’s not the Hammer.”

“It’s the Hammer.” Hua Cheng deflates. 

“We’re fucked.”

That much he’s gathered. 

“I’ll just buy a new-”

“No.” Yina shakes her head at him hurriedly. “Just- no.”

Fuck. 

Right on cue, Biming starts crying in his room. 

“I’ll get him.” Yina says. “Good luck.”

Hua Cheng takes a deep breath, thinks of Xie Lian, who probably hadn’t had a good night sleep in a while, and snatches A-Dayiu from the floor and back into his arms. 

“My Hammer!” 

“It’s alright.” He says seriously. “Just a tiny little car crash, happens all the time.”

“No! It’s all broken.”

“And broken things can be fixed, if you know how.”

At that, tears and wails quiet down a little. 

“Do you know how?” A-Dayiu demands. 

“Yes, yes I do. I’ll do it right now if you get back to bed, deal?”

A-Dayiu looks at him with red eyes and a pout. 

“Will it be here when I wake up?”

“Yes.”

“All healed?”

“Yes, all healed.”

It takes ten more minutes for her to believe him and stop crying. And five more to fall back asleep. Hua Cheng quickly gathers all the broken pieces of the toy, switches off the light and goes to save Yina. 

Thirty minutes later Hua Cheng finds himself at the kitchen table, lights dimmed, Biming with his frozen teether on his lap and a mess of a broken toy in front of him. He manages to find some glue, but it’s old and he needs to hold pieces of plastic together for a really long time for them to stick. 

“Noods?” Biming slams his teether on the table, making Hua Cheng’s hand slip and drop the Hammer’s door. 

Hua Cheng whines, drops a kiss on Biming’s curly head and gets up to boil the water. 

Xie Lian insisted he sleeps on his bed. Hua Cheng didn’t want to argue, but knew immediately he wouldn’t take him up on that offer. He does want to get into Xie Lian’s bed, preferably in a quite different scenario, and sleeping there alone would feel rather bitter. He planned, initially, to sleep on the couch. 

Where he actually ends up sleeping is the floor by Biming’s bed. If whatever he’s doing can even be called sleeping. 

Hua Cheng has never been this  happy to hear his alarm clock before. The night’s been long enough to last three, he barely got four hours of sleep and he’s exhausted. 

He checks his phone, finds no texts from Xie Lian, which makes him relax a little, and goes to start on breakfast.

He has a long day ahead. 

Chapter Text

Hua Cheng’s – Xie Lian’s – pristine kitchen is back to a complete mess by the time the breakfast is over. The floor is covered in crumbs and spilled juice, the counter is sticky, the table is loaded with dishes and glasses and cups and how are there so many cups? There’s never so many when Xie Lian is making breakfast. There’s never so much mess when Xie Lian is home at all. 

Hua Cheng wipes Biming’s face to the best of his abilities, tugs off his absolutely destroyed t-shirt and pants and puts him into the playpen. He won’t get cold, the temperature in the room is very comfortable. Still, after a moment Hua Cheng sighs and tugs the comforter off the couch to put it on the bottom of the pen. Just in case. 

The girls are getting dressed upstairs and Hua Cheng is just about to get back into the kitchen to clean, when his phone starts ringing. He expected Xie Lian to text or call, but seeing that it’s a video call still makes his heart flutter. 

“Gege.” He says as soon as the call connects. The quality isn’t perfect, and perhaps it’s for better, since what Hua Cheng sees is Xie Lian, soft and sleepy, and still in his bed. Oh, but does red looks good on him. 

“San Lang.” Xie Lian smiles, his voice sleep-addled. “How are you holding up?”

“Good!” Hua Cheng smiles. “We’ve just finished breakfast and are getting ready to work through the to-do list.”

“Mm. And how did the night go?”

“Absolutely perfect, gege needn’t worry.” Hua Cheng lies. Xie Lian will find out about the broken and glued back together Hammer, but let it happen later. He just looks so soft and comfortable, Hua Cheng can’t afford to upset him even a little.

“I see.” Xie Lian smiles. “In case you’re too tired anyway, maybe skip the to-do list and stay home today? Watch some more movies, hm?”

“No, no. I’ve got it. We’re working as a team here, gege, I’m not tired at all.”

“Alright. Why is one of your teammates naked, though?” 

Hua Cheng swallows a swear as his eye flicks to look at Biming on the background of his own video. 

“Uh.” He says eloquently. 

Xie Lian laughs at him. It’s well deserved. 

“That’s alright, San Lang.” He says softly. “Just leave all the dirty clothes in the bathroom, I’ll do the laundry tomorrow.”

After Hua Cheng finishes his conversation with Xie Lian he stalk right into the bathroom and interrogates Yina on washing machine settings until he’s at least half-way sure he won’t ruin the clothes. He starts what seems to be one washing cycle out of four and gets back to the kitchen. Cleaning it for the second time is not one bit easier, and by the time he’s finishing washing up he’s so fed up with it that he grabs his phone with wet, soapy hands and orders a dishwasher. 

***

“It doesn’t fold.” Hua Cheng says for the sixth time. 

“I does. Dad folds it easily.”

“Well then your dad is a magician.” Hua Cheng huffs hitting the pedal that should, by all means, make Biming’s stroller fold, but doesn’t. “And this thing is clearly cursed.”

“Xuan-ge can fold it, too.” A-Dayiu says, helpfully.

Hua Cheng has to breathe in and out three times not to break the damn thing to pieces. Fucking He Xuan. 

“San Lang,” Biming smiles toothily, dropping on his butt in the middle of the dusty driveway. “Good job!”

“Thank you, baby.” Hua Cheng sighs. “You are my favorite now. And you can have the Corvette once you’re eighteen.”

“No!” Biming laughs. 

“Damn right no.” Yina rolls her eyes. A-Dayiu laughs. Hua Cheng, finally, tackles the stroller and puts it in the trunk of Xie Lian’s car. 

Their first stop is optician’s, where Yina tries on her new reading glasses, checking if they need any further adjustment and where Hua Cheng realizes that he’s forgotten to pack Biming’s teether. Consequently, their second stop is the over-priced grocery store where they buy frozen mango slices as a substitute. Hua Cheng envisions the mess, but everything that stops the tears goes. They also get vegetables for stew and three jars of jam, only one of which gets dropped on the way back to the car. Hua Cheng counts it as a win. 

Their third stop is Shi Qingxuan’s studio, where they’re supposed to pick up Yina’s new sportswear and where Hua Cheng passes a fussy, sticky baby into Shi Qingxuan’s arms, steals their bright pink vape, and disappears outside for a ten minute smoke break. The vape tastes like strawberries coated in gasoline but Hua Chengs learns to enjoy it anyway. 

Their fourth stop is, of course, a food court. They’re in the mall, where they need to pick up a laptop charger Xie Lian ordered for his work laptop, but the kids are mean when they’re hungry, so lunch comes first. Everyone walking past them keeps giving Hua Cheng looks, and he’s not sure if they pity him or judge him. Considering Biming’s once lilac, and now bright-yellow-spotted longsleeve, it’s probably the latter, but no matter what it is, it makes Hua Cheng boil. He chose to do it, and he’s doing fine. Everyone else can shut the fuck up. 

Their last stop before going home is a carwash, and considering the fact that after the mango was gone A-Dayiu suggested biscuits as the next best thing, Hua Cheng ushers everyone out of the car, pays for the full-service package and gets two hours of free time with children, which is convenient, because Biming is overdue for his nap. They go to the nearest park, get ice-cream and videocall Xie Lian, cause A-Dayiu wants to see him and make sure he’s fine. He is fine, sitting on Hua Cheng’s couch with a cup of tea and a book. The picture burns itself into Hua Cheng's brain instantly and he only blinks away as Biming, having only just woken up, starts tugging him off in the direction of swings. He assures Xie Lian that they’re doing great and he shouldn’t get home until at least seven and ends the call. 

A walk in the park helps Hua Cheng clear his head and he feels considerably less tense as they pick up the car and get back home. Yina disappears upstairs, having exhausted all her social interaction limits and A-Dayiu, under Hua Cheng’s order, brings down her homework and settles at the kitchen table. Hua Cheng redresses Biming, remembers about the washing machine and rushes back upstairs to put clothes in the dryer and start one more washing cycle.

Then, he hands Biming a proper, frozen teether, puts on some soft music, and starts on the dinner. Stew is easy to make, so he also decides to bake some simple, cheesy buns to go with it. He knows it’ll make yet another mess of his – Xie Lian’s – kitchen, but he can’t risk not having enough food on the table. By the time the stew is simmering on the stove and buns are in the oven, Hua Cheng managed to help A-Dayiu with math and geography and clean off at least some of the mess from the counter. He glares at the heap of dishes in the sink, when Biming demands his attention. It’s a relief, and Hua Cheng leaves the kitchen as if it’s on fire. 

Xie Lian comes back home at half past six and Hua Cheng suddenly understands people of religion. He watches the man step into the kitchen as one would watch a God descend from heaven to grace a begging mortal. He is beautiful, as he always is, but also well-rested and glowing, absolutely the most radiant thing Hua Cheng has ever seen. 

“San Lang?” Xie Lian gives him an amused smile. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

The whole house seems somehow brighter with Xie Lian in it. Perhaps, even the whole world. 

“A Deity.” Hua Cheng corrects him quietly. 

“What?” Xie Lian laughs, incredulous. 

Hua Cheng shakes his head and smiles. 

“Nothing, gege, don’t mind me.” He says. “How are you feeling? Do you want some tea?”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian laughs, sitting at the table and looking over the papers strewn there. “I think I’ve had at least ten cups of tea today. I’ve been decidedly lazy.”

“Good.” To say that Hua Cheng feels satisfied is to say nothing at all. “Don’t mind the mess, A-Dayiu’s been doing her homework here.”

“You’ve spent the whole day with three children. You know that this cannot be considered a mess.” Xie Lian raises an eyebrow at him. 

Hua Cheng laughs, but only for a short moment. 

“I might have bought you a dishwasher.” He admits sheepishly. 

“You what?” Xie Lian gapes. 

“Gege. So many dishes.”

“San Lang!-”

“Kids!” Hua Cheng yells, making Xie Lian jump a little. “Your dad’s home!”

There’s a rush of steps and excited voices and Xie Lian squints his bottomless, peach blossom eyes at him. 

“Traitor.” He whispers. “This is not over.”

Hua Cheng ducks his head and goes to check if the buns have cooled down. He wants Xie Lian to be the first one to try them. 

The dinner goes well. A-Dayiu needs to be persuaded to leave Xie Lian’s lap, but it doesn’t stop her from a very detailed retelling of their day. Yina seems quietly satisfied and gives Hua Cheng a very meaningful look when she says how nice the day went and that they should do it again some time. Hua Cheng nods at her, smiling into his cup. When Biming starts fretting Xie Lian goes to put him to sleep and Hua Cheng starts on the cleaning.

“A-Dayiu, say bye to San Lang.” Yina says, standing up from the table as well. 

“Are you leaving already?” A-Dayiu pouts. 

“Soon, yes.” Hua Cheng turns to look at her. “But I’ll see you very soon.” 

“Can we watch a movie for a little while?” 

Hua Cheng is about to agree, obviously. It’s not late yet and tomorrow is Sunday, but Yina speaks first:

“Hey, we wanted to play that game on my laptop, remember?” 

Hua Cheng gives her a suspicious look, but she just shrugs. 

“It’s sisters time.”

“Sisters time!” A-Dayiu cheers. She hugs Hua Cheng very quickly and runs upstairs. 

“Don’t fuck it up.” Yina says and leaves, too.

Hua Cheng is left staring after her. He would dearly love not to fuck it up, but he has no idea what she ment by it. 

“San Lang needs sleep.” Xie Lian announces, stepping into the kitchen some minutes later. “You keep spacing out.”

“Ah. Perhaps gege is right. I’ll just finish washing up and get going.”

“You’ll finish the task that annoyed you enough to buy me a dishwasher?” Xie Lian asks sternly. “I don’t think so.”

He shakes his head as Hua Cheng starts protesting and tugs him away from the kitchen and into the living room. 

“Sit.” He says. “I’m sure you barely had a moment of peace today.”

Hua Cheng sits. 

“So,” Xie Lian starts, lowering himself gracefully next to Hua Cheng. “Tell me about today.”

“A-Dayiu didn’t give you enough details?” Hua Cheng teases. 

Xie Lian rolls his eyes and shifts in his seat to face Hua Cheng. 

“I want an adult version.” He says. “Come on, San Lan, I know it wasn’t easy.”

“Well,” There’s nothing to it. If Xie Lian deems him incompetent it’ll be well deserved. “I cleaned your kitchen enough times to do it with my eyes closed, at this point, and I have no idea why I get it so dirty every time. You don’t.”

“Years of practice.” Xie Lian shrugs. “What else?”

“A-Dayiu fell off the bed. She wasn’t hurt but she fell right on her Hammer. Completely crushed it.”

“No way.” Xie Lian says. “She isn’t in hysterics. How is she not in hysterics?”

“I glued it back together.”

“San Lang.” Xie Lian groans. “It must’ve taken you hours.”

“Three.” Hua Cheng nods miserably. “Her crying woke Biming up, so it stalled the process quite a bit.”

“You poor thing.” Xie Lian sighs. “Come on. Lay down. You must be exhausted.”

“Gege, I don’t-”

Xie Lian grabs his shoulders and maneuvers him until Hua Cheng’s head is resting on Xie Lian’s lap. He must have no idea what it does to Hua Cheng. He’s in heaven. He floats.

“What else, San Lang?”

“I forgot Biming’s teether when we left home.”

“Shit. How did you manage without it?”

“Frozen mango and biscuits. It was a mess. I deep-cleaned your car.”

“You didn’t have to.” Xie Liand tsks. Hua Cheng looks up at him and realizes he’s finally exactly where he’s supposed to be in his life. He feels selfish, anxious and irredeemably spoilt, but he can’t help the warmth and happiness he feels deep in his chest.

“Mango is sticky, gege. And it gets everywhere.” 

“I see.” Xie Lian smiles. “What else?”

“We bought jam, but one of the jars got dropped. There was a whole rainfall of glass. I made everyone take off their shoes in the car and examined them for shards with a flashlight.”

“Ah. Who dropped it? A-Dayiu?”

“Yina.” Hua Cheng closes his eye, just for a moment.

“What else?”

“I smoked.” Hua Cheng admits quietly. He didn’t even know he was feeling guilty about that. “Not in front of children. They were with Shi Qingxuan and I took their vape and went outside. It tasted disgusting.”

Xie Lian makes some kind of a sound, but Hua Cheng can’t bring himself to open his eyes and check how bad his reaction is. 

“What else?” Xie Lian says it with a laugh in his voice and Hua Cheng relaxes.

It takes a moment for him to remember, but once he does, his eye flies open.

“I forgot to put the laundry in the dryer!” He starts to sit up, but Xie Lian pushes him back down.

“Leave, San Lang.” Xie Lian smiles. “I’ll do it later.”

“But today’s your day off!”

“And it was. I haven’t had such a restful day in forever. And you slept on the floor.”

Hua Cheng feels his cheeks color. 

“You saw?”

“Mhm.” Xie Lian gently pushes Hua Cheng’s hair away from his face and then his hand just stays there, in Hua Cheng’s hair, like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t make him melt.

“I had half a thought to call you and make you go to bed, but I didn't want to wake Biming up and cause you more trouble.”

Hua Cheng groans sofly. 

“Gege, I’m sorry. You were supposed to be resting.”

“I was. I woke up to get some water and decided to check on you. Went right back to bed after.”

Hua Cheng keeps looking at him, searching for any sign of deception, but instead finds anxiety.

“What’s got gege worried?” He asks, instantly alert. 

“It’s just,” Xie Lian looks away. “It’s just now that San Lang experienced what it’s really like, he must need some time to himself. And it’s fine! I understand completely, my kids are not easy to handle and you don’t have to come over-”

“Gege,” Hua Cheng interrupts him. “Let’s do it again next week?”

Xie Lian gives him a look full of doubt. Hua Cheng tenses. 

“Unless, of course, gege doesn’t think I’m suitable for the job.” He says, words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “But you do need rest, and I- I can make He Xuan look after the kids, he will agree. He owes me.”

Xie Lian blinks at him for a second, and then his face morphs into something determined. Hua Cheng doesn’t dare breathe.

“San Lang, listen to me now. You did great. I’ve never met anyone more responsible and quick to learn. I didn’t doubt my kids were safe with you even for a second. But, most importantly, I didn't doubt that they were happy and cared for. San Lang. You have no idea how much I needed a day to recuperate, and how much I appreciate what you did. You gave my whole family a great gift. I’m only worried you suffered for it.”

Hua Cheng doesn’t speak, at first. It’s like he’s forgotten how. Finally, he finds his words. 

“Biming said ‘good job!’ when I finally managed to fold his stroller. A-Dayiu praised my cooking and hugged me four separate times. Yina didn’t complain about anything even once, and helped me without asking. I think it was more for your sake, but still. Your kids are amazing, gege. I’m exhausted, but I enjoyed spending time with them very much. Let’s do it again next Saturday.”

Xie Lian smiles, humming softly. Hua Cheng’s eye slides closed on its own violation. 

“You are perfect for this, San Lang.” Xie Lian whispers. “I hope you find a special someone to have a real family with, one day.”

Hua Cheng is half asleep already. It’s very hard to control his mouth in such a state:

“I think I already have.”

If Xie Lian answers, he doesn’t hear it. Enveloped in warmth he’s never felt before, he sleeps.

Chapter Text

Hua Cheng wakes up in the most unpleasant way possible. He’s being shaken awake by an angry teenage girl and she doesn’t stop harassing him even when he reluctantly blinks his eye open.

“Yina.” He groans. “What are you doing?”

“What are you doing?” Yina huffs, shoving him one more time for a good measure. 

“I’m sleeping.”

“On the couch.”

“Yeah?”

“What part of don’t fuck it up was so hard to understand?” Yina demands. She’s going to grow into a very stern woman, Hua Cheng thinks. 

“Most of it, if I’m honest. Though I appreciated the general message.”

“Didn’t appreciate it enough, if you’re still on the couch.”

“Where else was I supposed to sleep?”

“I don’t care where you sleep. I care with whom you sleep.” 

Hua Cheng wants to die. Right here, on this couch.

“Stop.” He says, covering his face with his hands. “Stop talking, you’re child.”

“Right. And I approve of your old-man-crush and everything. So why are you here?”

“Despite what you seem to think, your approval isn’t the only thing needed to win over your dad.” Hua Cheng mumbles. 

“So go get him some fucking flowers.”

“Go get some fucking sleep.”

“You’re not my dad.” Yina snides. "You're not even trying to become my dad. You’re just some guy sleeping on my couch.”

Hua Cheng throws a pillow at her. 

“Hey!”

“Be quiet, you’ll wake your brother.” 

“What do you care about my brother, couch guy?”

Hua Cheng throws another pillow at her. It’s not like he doesn’t want to sleep in Xie Lian’s bed, with Xie Lian, it’s just that he’s terrified of scaring him away. Yina is smart, but she’s too young to understand how much is at stake right now. Hua Cheng just can’t risk it. 

“I’m working on it.” He says eventually. “It’s not that simple.”

“Well, work harder.” Yina says, turning to leave. “You’re not getting any younger.”

***

Hua Cheng has to admit that he, indeed, is not getting any younger, when the next day he’s still exhausted and can barely concentrate on work. Usually, it’s not a problem. He’s used to pulling an occasional all-nighter to finish a painting or work through the gallery paperwork. Today, though, he finds himself staring at the canvas and not seeing a thing. It absolutely doesn't help that Xie Lian insisted He Xuan do the morning drop-off tomorrow. He assured Hua Cheng that it was only so he could work in peace, but Hua Cheng can’t help but think he did something wrong, and if so what exactly did he do wrong and how does he fix it? 

Xie Lian didn’t seem upset with him when they were having breakfast, but he did appear to be a little more reserved than usual. Hua Cheng keeps reviewing the conversation they had last night, looking for clues, but it’s all quite blurry. The more he thinks about it, though, the more he’s sure that he said something stupid. Xie Lian placed his head on his lap and was patting his hair and he was warm and real, and then, this morning he suddenly wasn’t. At least not to that extent. 

Hua Cheng goes through the conversation again. He talked about their day. About Biming’s teether, about A-Dayiu’s Hammer, about the jam accident. Xie Lian wasn’t upset about any of it. He told Hua Cheng that he did well, told him he was perfect for it, even, told him-

I think I already have.

Fuck. Fuck!

“Damn idiot.” Hua Cheng hisses.

He practically confessed, selfishly, foolishly invited himself into Xie Lian’s family, and then, before he could fix it at least somehow, fell asleep. Useless, pathetic leach. No surprise Xie Lian doesn’t want him on the drop-off tomorrow! He might never want him anywhere near his children or himself again, and he would be right. 

Hua Cheng, greedy bastard that he is, couldn’t even keep it to himself that he saw the most priceless thing in the world and instantly wanted it all to himself. 

A day passes in a blur. Yina sends him some silly videos and he dutifully replies to each one, and that’s pretty much all he does until it’s already dark. Xie Lian doesn’t text him and Hua Cheng doesn’t dare to, either. 

Maybe it’ll pass. Maybe, Hua Cheng hopes, prays, Xie Lian will just discard his stupid confession and they continue as they did. Maybe, given enough time, Hua Cheng can prove that he’s worth a chance. 

But Xie Lian doesn’t reach out on Monday, too, and Hua Cheng, besides himself with nerves and self-hatred, breaks and texts him around dinner time. 

Gege, hello. Can I be of any help tomorrow?

Xie Lian replies two hours later with:

It’s alright, I’m sure San Lang has many things to do! 

Hua Cheng’s stomach drops. 

Will you text me if you need me anyway?

Sure!

But Hua Cheng already knows he won’t. And he’s right. He lives through an absolutely miserable week, trying and failing to come up with a solution. He doesn’t get any work done, even though he barely leaves the studio. He Xuan visits him on Friday, gives him a long, searching look, calls him pathetic and eats his lunch. He doesn’t offer any advice and absolutely refuses to tell him if Xie Lian said anything about the situation. 

“If you just want to be useless, get the fuck out.” Hua Cheng barks, an hour or so later. 

“You are being useless. Get a grip. I actually liked spending some alone time with Qingxuan for a change.”

With that, He Xuan leaves and Hua Cheng falls into an uncomfortable, wooden chair and breathes. Later that day he texts Xie Lian again to ask about Saturday. He knows it’s probably pointless, but he did promise to give Xie Lian another day off and he has to at least ask. 

Xie Lian answers with:

I think San Lang got enough practice already, I have nothing else to teach him!

That’s what he’s been afraid of. 

Does that mean gege doesn’t want me to come over anymore?

No, of course we want to see San Lang! Dinner at He Xuan’s on Sunday?

So, that’s how it is. Xie Lian is too good, too kind to cut him off completely, but he will not tolerate him in his home anymore, either. Hua Cheng should refuse, relieve Xie Lian of this burden and disappear from his life for good. It would be the right thing to do. But Hua Cheng is selfish. He wants to see him so much it hurts. Him and the kids. 

One last time. He’ll see them just one last time and then he’ll wrap up his business here, go back to the capital and bury himself in so much work he won’t have time to think about anything else. 

Hua Cheng awaits the Sunday dinner with an equal amount of longing and anxiety. He’s afraid that the moment he sees Xie Lian he’ll fall on his knees and beg to let him stay. He’s afraid he won’t be able to utter a single word at all. He’s afraid. He doesn’t remember being afraid before. He doesn’t know what to do with himself for the next two days. 

Stewing in his own misery he almost misses it when someone knocks on his door. No one besides He Xuan really visits his rented studio, so he just closes his eyes and hopes he leaves. He doesn’t leave. 

“Fuck off!” He yells.

“No, I won’t!” Comes the reply, and it’s not He Xuan. Hua Cheng is on his feet and by the door in an instant.

“What happened?” He demands as soon as he opens the door. 

Yina looks up at him with furrowed eyebrows and smudged make up. She’s been crying. Hua Cheng feels cold, profound fury settle in his chest. 

“San Lang.” She says, voice barely audible. “I-”

She doesn’t finish. She takes a shaky step forward and wraps her arms around Hua Cheng. He doesn’t even notice his own arms move, but suddenly he’s hugging her back, as tightly as he can without actually hurting her. 

“It’s alright.” He whispers. “Whatever it is, it’s alright.”

“It’s not.” Yina whispers. “It's not, San Lang, it’s-”

“Tell me.”

“I- I fucked up.”

Hua Cheng is not prepared. Now, he thinks Xie Lian was right in his decision to cut him off. He doesn’t know how to console her. He barely knows anything about teenagers and yes, he got lucky the first time, but now-

Get a grip.

“I don’t care. Just tell me.” 

“I got in a fight. Real one. I- it was PE again, and I didn’t want to- I said I forgot my sneakers and they laughed and I ignored them at first, but then Jiang Li said that A-Daiyu is gonna end up being a loser just like me and I snapped. Called her a bitch. She pushed me and I- I might have hit her in the face.”

Hua Cheng’s heart breaks for the hundredth time this week. 

“Oh, baby.”

“And then I ran. I was so angry and scared and I ran, and dad is gonna be so disappointed in me because I can’t even solve my own shit, but not only that!” Yina starts crying in earnest, her arms around Hua Cheng going tighter. “Not only can’t I solve my own shit I also drove you away, I kept pressing and pressing until you left and now dad is sad all the time and Biming barely sleeps again and it’s all my fault!”

“No.” Hua Cheng says, horrified. He’s such a fucking failure. “Yina, it’s not. It’s not your fault.”

“It is.” She cries. “It’s okay if you don’t want to date dad, just- I’m sorry, okay? Just come see us sometimes.”

Hua Cheng is going to fix this mess and then find the highest building in town and throw himself off it. Not that it’ll be punishment enough. 

“Yina, listen to me.” He says, slow and serious. “None of what had happened is your fault. That girl is a bitch and she pushed you first. You had a full right to retaliate. Your dad will not be disappointed in you stepping up for your little sister. And I didn’t leave because of you. It was my fault and no one else’s. I said something stupid and upset your dad and he needed some time alone. But it has nothing to do with you, I’d see you at He Xuan’s on Sunday no matter what.”

“Oh, fuck.” Yina gasps, leaning away. 

“What?” Hua Cheng asks, feeling weary.

“He Xuan. He’s supposed to pick me up today. We had to get groceries.”

Hua Cheng breathes out. 

“It’s okay. We’ll just call him and tell him you’re here.”

“Can you do it? My phone died when I was on my way here.”

Hua Cheng nods, takes out his phone and looks at Yina while he dials. She looks shaken and guilty still, but at least she’s not crying anymore. He’ll have to talk to her more on the topic, of course. And to Xie Lian, though he dreads the conversation. 

He Xuan doesn’t pick up. Hua Cheng dials again, but it’s to the same result. He checks the time and swears. 

“At what time did you leave school?” He asks. 

“Around two-thirty.” Yina shrugs. 

Hua Cheng looks at his phone again. 15.42. It took Yina more than an hour to get here. Hua Cheng is so angry he can barely contain it.

“I think we’ll have to go there.” He sighs. “He’s probably searching the school with police dogs at this point.”

“Well.” Yina smiles weakly. “I hope they find my things, because I don’t want to get back to that locker room.”

Hua Cheng closes his eyes briefly and then grabs his keys and heads outside.

“You won’t have to.”

Once in the car, he gives Yina his phone. 

“I don’t have my charger with me. Call Your dad.”

“San Lang.” Yina groans. “Please.”

“He’s probably panicking right now. He needs to know you’re alright.” Hua Cheng reasons. 

“Xuan-ge haven’t told him.” She shakes her head. “If he had, dad would’ve definitely called you already.”

She’s probably right. And Xie Lian is still at work and wouldn’t it be better to wait until they’re all home to tell him? And yes, Hua Cheng is being a coward, but it isn’t even in top three of his faults right now  

“Please, San Lang, I need a bit more time to prepare.”

“He won’t be angry with you.” Hua Cheng says gently. 

“He will hate me.” 

“He could never hate you.”

“San Lang. They’ll kick me out of school. He’s gonna hate me.”

“Good riddance. Your school sucks.” Hua Cheng huffs. “And he won’t.”

“Whatever.”

“And Yina.” Hua Cheng says seriously. “Next time, call me. I’ll pick you up. Absolutely don’t go wandering around without your phone for an hour while you’re upset.”

“Ugh.” 

Not that Hua Cheng expected a more eloquent answer. She heard him and that’s enough. 

Once the school is in the seeing range, so is He Xuan. Even from afar away he looks furious. 

“Oh, he’s upset.” Yina comments as they get closer. 

“I don’t think you’re ever getting back to this school again.” Hua Cheng nods, watching He Xuan threaten an elderly man. He doesn’t hear him yet, per se, but it’s clear in his body language. 

“I don’t think there’ll be a school here once he’s done.” 

Hua Cheng is inclined to agree. He gets as close as he can without trampling a bed of flowers by the main entrance and kills the engine. 

“-you’ll regret being born, you pathetic excuse for a person, but it’ll be too late, because I-” Hua Cheng hears as soon as he steps out of the car.

“He Xuan.” He interrupts. He Xuan’s head snaps in his direction and he looks even more furious for a moment, but then seems to notice Yina and his shoulders drop. “I’ve never tolerated you more than I do now, but that’s enough.”

“Not enough.” He Xuan says, but he’s already on his way to hug Yina. 

“See!” The man, who’s probably the headmaster judging by his suit, follows He Xuan, but his eyes are on Hua Cheng. “I told you it wasn’t the school’s fault, Master He! Girls her age tend to find attraction in disobedience and ill-fitting romantic escapades! You better ask the man who brought here what he was doing with-”

Before Hua Cheng can open his mouth or straight up kill the guy, Yina makes a disgusted kind of noise and cries out:

“That’s my dad, you pervert!”

Hua Cheng’s heart stops. He distantly notices He Xuan gaping at them, but it doesn’t really register. He just needs a moment.

Yian and the headmaster continue talking, their voices raised, and taking a deep breath Hua Cheng forces himself to snap out of it. 

“Enough.” He interrupts, voice cold. “He Xuan, let the headmaster show you to the locker room and get Yina’s things. We’re leaving. This situation will be resolved once me and Yina’s father assess our child’s current mental state and deal with the consequences of your incompetency. And it won’t be resolved in the school's favor.” 

With that, Hua Cheng ushers Yina back inside the car. Once He Xuan and the rightly terrified headmaster disappear inside the building, Hua Cheng turns to look at Yina.

“I thought I’m a couch guy and not your dad?”

“You aren’t, for now.” Yina smirks. “But you’ll get there. Couch guy.”

Hua Cheng, despite at the moment feeling, quite possibly, every emotion known to man, just laughs. 

Chapter Text

He Xuan returns ten minutes later with Yina’s things and climbs in the backseat. 

“Xie Lian texted. He’s just left the university.” He grunts. 

“We gotta head to the store now?” Yina asks weakly. 

“No.” Hua Cheng decides. He doesn’t think any of them are in any state to be choosing groceries at the moment. He turns to look at He Xuan. “Is Xie Lian picking Biming today?”

“Yes. I was supposed to get the girls and meet him at the store later.” 

“Tell him to go home now.” Hua Cheng says. “We’ll get A-Dayiu and meet him there. Don’t scare him just yet, though.”

“I’m not an idiot.” He Xuan snaps. He taps at his phone for a moment. “My car’s here. I’ll get A-Dayiu and meet you at the house.”

Hua Cheng nods and starts the car.  

“And if you get there first,” He Xuan adds, halfway out of the car. “Fucking act normal. Upset him again and I’ll kill you.” 

Hua Cheng drives off before the door even fully closes. 

They drive in silence. Yina is clearly still upset and Hua Cheng would love to console her more, but his own thoughts are scattered. The closer he is to Xie Lian’s house the more anxious he becomes. He knows he’s not welcome there anymore, but he can’t just leave Yina on the driveway. He might be a coward, but so long as Yina needs him even a little bit, he’ll be there. 

As if reading his thoughts, she turns to look at him. 

“Will you stay?” She asks. “For the talk?”

“Of course.” 

They're the first ones to arrive. Yina unlocks the door and they walk quietly to the kitchen, where she sits heavily at the table and Hua Cheng goes to prepare tea.

He stops short in the middle of the room. 

“Ah.” Yina says. “The dishwasher. Should’ve seen dad’s face when it arrived.”

“Was he terribly upset?” Hua Cheng asks, swallowing thickly. 

“San Lang.” Yina sighs. “You should really talk to him. I don’t know what happened with you two and I think I caused enough damage already.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Hua Cheng wishes he had his wits about him right now. She needs to understand she’s not at fault and he needs to get it across somehow, but he can hardly form a coherent sentence. 

“Alright, just.” Yina drops her head on the table. “Just talk to him. And don’t disappear.” 

Before Hua Chen can answer, there’s a sound of the door opening and Biming’s crying suddenly breaks the quiet of the house. 

Both Yina and Hua Cheng freeze on spot and don’t move as Xie Lian enters the kitchen, holding crying and wriggling Biming in his arms. 

He looks tired, Hua Cheng notes distantly. His steps are sure and his posture is straight, but his eyes are dulled. 

“San Lang?” Xie Lian stops as well, though where Hua Cheng and Yina are frozen in anxiety and trepidation, Xie Lian is stilled by confusion. “What are you doing here?”

“Gege.” Hua Cheng forces himself to speak calmly. “I’m sorry for intruding. Can we talk?”

Xie Lian looks slowly from him to Yina and his face falls. 

“What happened?” He asks. 

Before Hua Cheng can come up with anything at all to say, the front door opens again and A-Dayiu runs into the kitchen. She squeals when she sees Hua Cheng and when she hugs him he can't help but wonder if it’s the last time it happens. 

“So.” He Xuan says, walking into the kitchen at a more measured pace and opening the fridge. “Are we suing?" 

“What?!” Xie Lian exclaims. Biming lets out a particularly shrill cry and Hua Cheng is sprung into motion. He quickly walks over to where Xie Lian stands and reaches for Biming. 

“Let me hold him.” He probably sounds desperate but he doubts anyone is paying any attention to his voice at the moment. 

“It’s fine.” Xie Lian says without looking at him. “Yina. What’s wrong?”

Hua Cheng lowers his eyes and steps back. 

Yina doesn’t answer. She looks from Hua Cheng to He Xuan clearly willing them to speak for her, but they don’t. This, she should talk about herself. And Xie Lian deserves to hear it from his daughter, which both Hua Cheng and He Xuan seem to understand. 

“What. Is. It?” Xie Lian asks, voice low and serious. Yina breaks. 

“Dad.” She calls, raising her eyes at him. There are tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Xie Lian lets out a sharp little sigh and briskly walks towards Hua Cheng. He quickly passes Biming over to him and returns to Yina’s side. 

The room is filled with shrill crying but Yina’s quiet tears are still somewhere louder. 

“It’s okay.” Hua Cheng whispers into Biming’s hair.

“Tell me what happened.” Xie Lian kneels by Yina’s side and gently cups her cheek.  

She lets out a broken sigh and starts talking. 

He Xuan makes tea, passes a cup to Xie Lian, and leads a very confused A-Dayiu out of the kitchen. Hua Cheng is almost grateful he’s here. Biming calms down in his arms slowly but surely and by the time Yina is done reciting the events of the day, he’s asleep. 

“Dad.” Yina calls, when Xie Lian doesn’t say anything for a long minute. “Are you-”

“I’m sorry.” Xie Lian interrupts her. “Yina, I am so sorry.”

“Dad?”

“I shouldn’t have listened when you asked me to stay out of it. I should have gone to school and fixed it.”

Hua Cheng doesn’t dare reassure him. 

“No.” Yina says. “No, it wouldn’t have helped. It’s. Dad, I’m sorry. I overreacted anyway, I shouldn’t have run and I shouldn’t have said that San Lang is my dad, I know it’s messed up-”

“You said what? Yina!”

“I’m sorry! I panicked.”

“Oh, gods.” Xie Lian runs his hand over his face. “Alright. San Lang, go put Biming to bed. Yina and I need to talk.”

There’s no way Hua Cheng can refuse. 

“Okay, gege.” He says. He looks at Yina with as much support as he can manage and walks away. 

Biming wakes up briefly when he’s put down and Hua Cheng has to spend ten more minutes coaxing him back to sleep. By the time he comes back to the kitchen, it’s quiet once more. Xie Lian is sitting at the table, looking at his folded hands, alone. 

“Gege?”

“Ah, San Lang.” Xie Lian looks up, sitting up straighter. “We talked. He Xuan is taking girls out for ice cream.”

“I see.” Hua Cheng nods. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you right away. I just thought it would be better to talk at home.”

“No, that’s- that’s fine, San Lang. Sit.”

Hua Cheng sits. They’re silent for several long minutes, before Xie Lian speaks in a quiet, controlled voice. 

“Thank you for taking care of Yina.” He says. “And I’m sorry we got you involved again. I will handle whatever misunderstanding Yina caused at school so they won’t have any issues with you. It- I would be grateful if you still found the time to see girls at He Xuan’s sometimes, but-”

“Gege, please.” Hua Cheng interrupts him, unable to listen any longer. “I’m sorry about what I said. I was half asleep and-. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just. Gege, we can still be friends, right? I can still help.”

Xie Lian isn’t looking at him. 

“San Lang has had enough practice. He can start planning the real thing now.”

Hua Cheng opens his mouth but is too confused to say anything. 

“I’m not going to hold you back. It’s how we planned it from the beginning, isn’t it? You come here to see if you like having a family and make sure you’re ready for kids. Well, you’re ready now. You’re free to go.”

“Gege is… freeing me?”

“Yes, well.” Xie Lian huffs. “You were clearly too polite to say something right away.”

“Say something about what?” Hua Cheng asks tentatively. He feels like he’s walking on the edge and one wrong move will send him flying. 

“About the special someone you’ve found.” Xie Lian says, still not looking at him. It’s maddening. “I’m grateful for all the help, really, I am, but you don’t have to stay now. You can go.”

Whatever uneasiness Hua Cheng thought he’d caused between them is clearly something much, much worse, because Xie Lian seems to think there’s someone else in Hua Cheng’s life. It’s ridiculous. Laughable. It is, by all means, heartbreaking. He has to stop it. 

“I don’t want to go.” Hua Cheng says, barely thinking about what leaves his mouth. 

“Your special someone won’t be too happy with you spending all your free time here, now.” Xie Lian sounds bitter. He sounds, if Hua Cheng dares to even think it, almost jealous. 

He takes a deep breath and then another. 

Even if he’s wrong, even if Xie Lian doesn’t want anything to do with him, he has to say it. No matter what happens next, Xie Lian deserves to know Hua Cheng could never chose another over him  

Don’t fuck it up. 

“Well, that’s pretty easy to find out.” He keeps his voice light, even though his heart is threatening to beat right out of his chest. “Gege, does it make you unhappy when I’m here?”

Xie Lian’s eyes snap up and finally, finally he’s looking at him. 

“Here you are.” Hua Cheng can’t help but smile, unsure and bitter as the smile is. “I thought gege would never grace me with a look again.”

Xie Lian’s cheeks redden slightly. It doesn’t help Hua Cheng’s heart to calm down at all. 

“San Lang. Your special someone is…?”

“Gege knows. He must know, by now.” 

Xie Lian stands up sharply and stalks right out of the room. Hua Cheng thinks he might die today, after all. 

“You’re in love with me?” Xie Lian demands storming back into the kitchen. 

“Yes, gege, how can there ever be anyone else?”

Xie Lian turns away from him. 

“That can’t be true.” He says, as if to himself.”

“That’s the only truth I have. I’m sorry if it’s unpleasant to hear.”

“Unpleasant!” Xie Lian exclaims, turning back to glare at Hua Cheng. “Unpleasant?”

“Gege-”

“No. Just. Just stop talking, San Lang.”

Hua Cheng obliges. He makes himself sit still and not say a word. 

Eventually, Xie Lian comes back to the table and sits. The look he gives Hua Cheng is quite grave. 

“San Lang, I don’t think you understand. You can’t be in love with me. You aren’t.”

Hua Cheng raises an eyebrow at Xie Lian, amused, anxious and only slightly panicked. 

“I can and I am.”

“Well then you’re wrong! Being in love with me won’t be too exciting, San Lang. Because that-” Xie Lian waves his hand loosely, gesturing around the kitchen. “-is it. Sunday dinners, morning drop offs, school problems, tears and snot and a messy house is all I can give.”

“Is gege’s confidence in my inability to assess his life situation the only objection he has?”

“I- no. There’s also the fact that San Lang is clearly made for bigger things. He’s an artist. There’s not much time to create art when you’re surrounded by three children.”

Hua Cheng bites his cheeks and nods.

“Anything else?”

“Is that not enough?” Xie Lian snaps. 

“I’m afraid not, gege. As it happens, I enjoy all the things you’ve listed so far, with morning drop offs easily taking the first place. And I object to the fact that there’s anything bigger I could do with my life than spend it by your side.”

“San Lang is crazy then.” Xie Lian huffs. 

“Completely insane,” Hua Cheng nods. “But gege, I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t say anything about how you feel about it.”

“How I feel about you loving me?”

“Yes, I’d very much like to know.”

Xie Lian closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them Hua Cheng is pinned to his chair under his undivided attention. 

“I feel like it’s the last thing I deserve and yet I selfishly want it to be true. I feel like I might go mad if I never again come home only to see you cooking in my kitchen. I feel like since I met you I suddenly remembered how easy it is to be happy.”

More than anything else Hua Cheng wants to walk up to Xie Lian and kiss him right now, but if he does that he won’t be able to stop and they still have things to discuss. Important things. 

“Gege.” He breathes. “I am yours. Irrevocably and unconditionally yours, but you should know that I am not… Gege, I’m a greedy, selfish man. The moment I saw you I wanted you, and with every day spent here, I only want more. You have this beautiful, messy, warm home and I just can’t hold myself back.”

“San Lang!” Xie Lian laughs. “You too should know that I don’t care what nefarious reasons you think you have to be here, as long as you stay.” 

“Then I’ll stay.”

“Stay.” Xie Lian smiles. “If you’re sure, then stay, San Lang, but only if you’re sure. Because I have kids and they love you and it can only ever be serious for me. I can’t afford to play around.”

“Gege, let’s get married.”

“San Lang!”

“I mean it.” Hua Cheng leans closer. “I would marry you right now. I would marry you that day in the grocery store, right in the jam aisle.”

“Impossible man.” Xie Lian shakes his head. “You might regret that, you know?”

“Never.” Hua Cheng grins. He can barely believe it’s happening but he’ll take it. He’ll take everything Xie Lian gives him. 

He stands up, watching the way Xie Lian’s eyes track his every movement, and walks right up to him. 

“Gege,” He calls, reaching out to touch his cheek with reverence. He leans closer. “May I-”

The front door opens and A-Dayiu’s laughter rings through the whole house. 

Hua Cheng smiles, straightening up. 

“May I take you out tomorrow night?” He finishes. 

Xie Lian blinks at him, eyes dazed. 

“I’ll ask He Xuan to watch the kids.” He says. 

“Then it’s a date.”