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If You Could Only Know, I Never Let You Go

Summary:

“Look, do I think you’re a psychopath here to murder us all? No,” Alex said, not really making the greatest start. “But we’ve had bad luck in the past and it always ended with someone hurt, so you can understand the suspicion. I know you don’t know us and you have no reason to trust us-”

“I screwed up,” Henry cut him off, his head snapping up to look at him. “Bad. Really bad actually. There was a mission and things went wrong and I-” he stopped, looking away again. “I screwed up.” He let out a shaky breath, glancing back at Alex. “I’m trying to fix my mistake. That’s not so bad, is it?”

Alex did not really expect this whole outburst. He had no idea if he’d actually said something right or if the kid just wanted to tell someone what was going on. What he’d told Alex last night made more sense now. “It’s not,” he said. “But going at it alone is not the best decision either.”

Notes:

helloooo! A new fic?? So soon?? Who saw it coming, because I definitely didn't😂

Let me start by saying, I have wanted to write this fic FOR SO LONG - like I had certain scenes in my head for so long and now I'm finally writing them and it's insane, I never thought the day would come😅 There are no requests in this one (it is written specifically for me😂), I just had an idea and I really wanted to write it and tried to fit it in somewhere and so here it is. I think it might be one of my favorite fics in the series (I have not even finished writing it, but oh my God I am so excited) and judging from comments on past fics, I think you're gonna like it too :D

Enjoy :D

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Julie took a deep breath as she walked down the hallway. People tended to find the Silent City unsettling and Julie couldn’t deny there was something uncomfortable about the silence around them, but the heaviness in the atmosphere couldn't be attributed to anticipation alone. There was a foreboding feeling. Like the universe knew what was coming.

Then again Julie didn’t really know what to expect. She didn’t know what was going on, she was just hoping for answers. And she was well aware she probably wouldn’t like them, but it didn’t really matter. She needed answers. She needed to know what was happening to her and she needed it to be over.

She hadn’t left the Institute after the sun had set in three days. They hadn’t had a demon surge in three days. The facts were laid in front of her clear as day and she was left trapped. And the only person who could actually help her was the one who’d done this to her in the first place.

“Don’t go.”

“Luke, I-”

“We can figure this out, we know other warlocks!” Luke insisted.

“Caleb is the only one who has dealt with the Black Volume of the Dead, he is the one who caused all of this in the first place!” she tried to explain.

“Exactly!” he said. “He’s the one who started this, you can’t just go over!”

“Luke, I’m not afraid of him-”

“I am!” he shouted. “Julie, I’m terrified of him, of what he can do. You were-” He stopped. Took a deep breath. “Please don’t go,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

And Julie nearly caved in. She didn’t want to do this to him, she barely wanted to interact with Caleb again herself. But the matter still stood, she had to find out what was happening to her. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life inside the Institute. They’d just decided to move out, how was that going to ever work?

She took a step closer, cupping his face. No amount of reassuring was going to make this okay, she knew that. But they both had to accept that there was no other choice.

“He’s not a threat anymore,” she said softly. “I know that’s not enough to make it okay, but he can’t hurt me or anyone else right now. I can’t stay in the Institute for the rest of my life, baby, you know that. We’re going to figure out how to fix this and we’re gonna go back to our lives.”

Luke stared at her for a second longer, clearly still not on board with any of this. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. Julie wasn’t sure whether he was going to let her go. She wasn’t exactly sure whether she wanted him to either.

Brother Enoch stopped a few feet before the cells. It was dark around, not much light coming in. Julie had never really had reason to visit the prisons in the Silent City. Then again she felt a little better knowing he was contained this time. Alicante hadn’t worked that well for them last time.

You will be given some privacy, Brother Enoch said. But I would not recommend staying for long.

“I’ll be fine,” Julie said, trying to sound nonchalant. Brother Enoch had pretty much heard it all from them, they didn’t have anything left to hide. Julie had told him why she was there. He had led the way to the prison cells although didn’t exactly do it happily. Not that ‘happily’ had ever been a word to describe a Silent Brother.

He didn’t seem convinced. Or at least Julie could tell he wasn’t buying it. She wasn’t sure whether she meant it either. She just knew that she was probably the only one who could do this. Her friends wouldn’t be able to see things objectively. Luke wouldn’t go near him, Flynn would probably try to murder him and Julie, well…

She hadn’t even seen him during the fight. It could have been anybody. And while she wasn’t walking into that meeting clueless and naive, she didn’t really feel afraid. She was furious, she was careful, but she deserved answers and she was going to fucking get them.

Her footsteps echoed as she walked towards the end of the hallway alone. She hadn’t prepared a speech, she knew what she wanted to say. And dwelling on the past or asking for explanations wasn’t really part of it.

Caleb was sitting on a bed, leaning on the wall behind him. He must have heard Julie, but he didn’t turn his head towards her, not until she had stopped right in front of the bars separating them.

He smiled. Julie hadn’t expected anything less. “Julie,” he said, turning to look at her. “I figured we would meet again soon.”

“Did you?” she said. “Killing me kind of sent the wrong message.”

“And yet here you stand, perfectly healthy,” he said, his smile turning chilling. “Funny how things turn out. So, how may I assist you today?”

“You know why I’m here,” she stated. He’d been expecting her, he knew exactly what was going on, that much she could tell.

Caleb just smiled again and got up, taking a few steps closer to her. Julie unconsciously tensed up, but she didn’t back away. “Don’t worry,” Caleb said, showing her his hands. There were bracelets around his wrists with what was probably runes or even magic she couldn’t recognize. “Not really much I can do in here. Except talk of course.”

“Great, talk,” Julie said. “Lilith left something behind, how do I get rid of it?”

“Straight to the point, I see,” he said. “Have the demons started gathering?”

“Demon surges keep erupting all around me ever since I came back,” she said. “You’re the one who caused this, so-”

“Ah, ah,” he cut her off, “if we’re gonna talk, we better be honest with each other. You would have never been possessed if it wasn’t-”

“I am not here to talk about that,” she stopped him.

“Hm, of course not,” he said, still smirking. Julie had lost the upper hand and she didn’t know if she could ever get it back. She wasn’t sure if anyone could ever have the upper hand in a conversation against Caleb anyway. “You are here because you’re being hunted. I am not sure what exactly you think I can do about it. You’re the Nephilim warriors and whatnot. Maybe do your job and kill the demons?”

“We’re not just talking about a few demons here!” she exclaimed, trying to keep her voice low. “Why is there a nest’s worth of them coming after me? And why haven’t they tried to kill me yet?”

“Oh, Julie…” he sighed, giving her a sympathetic smile. “What good would you be to anyone dead?”

Julie felt a chill going down her spine, but she tried to ignore it. “What does that mean?”

“It means that you were possessed by the Mother of Demons,” he said, taking a step closer. “Nobody wants you dead, they just want you back.”

“Back where?” she asked, trying to process everything.

Caleb sighed. “I do wonder sometimes if you children of the Angel really are thick or just in complete denial all the time,” he said. “The demons are not trying to kill you, Julie. They are trying to take you back to where you belong.”

Julie stared at him. Back to where you belong. Back where Lilith belonged. “Edom,” she whispered.

“Ding, ding, we have a winner!” he cheered.

“But there was no demonic energy left behind, I was cleared of everything,” she insisted, trying to find a loophole. There had to be one, this couldn’t be her reality right now.

“You may be fine,” he said, “but some scars don’t really heal, do they?”

Julie could feel her heartbeat starting to pick up. How long could they ignore this for? How long could she stay in the Institute and not be the beacon of demon energy she’d turned into? How long until a demon got hold of her and dragged her through a portal kicking and screaming?

How long before Asmodeus became an issue again?

“Why are you helping me?” she suddenly asked. He’d been really forthcoming considering their past and she couldn’t help but be suspicious of that too.

“I thought you came to ask for my help?” he said.

“Yes, being awfully helpful is not exactly your thing,” she said.

“Isn’t it?” He tilted his head with the same chilling smirk. “I’d been at LA’s beck and call for years as the High Warlock. I helped the pack when they asked and William didn’t appreciate that later either. And when I asked for one little thing in return, I was apprehended.”

“You mean when you kidnapped Luke and I and tried to kill us all?” Julie deadpanned.

“I doubt you’d say that is the worst thing I’ve ever done,” he said, nearly sounding amused. Was this all a game to him? Was Julie there just wasting her time? Should she even believe him in the first place? “And now we’re right back to the start. You need my help again. But you’re gonna have to do something for me first.”

Julie stared back at him for a moment before letting out an unexpected laugh. “You cannot possibly think I would ever do you any favors,” she said. “There are so many other warlocks out there who can actually help.”

“And yet you’re standing in your Shadowhunter cemetery talking to the man who murdered you in cold blood,” he said as if his words didn’t mean anything at all. “Because I know what is going on and dark magic is probably okay when you are the ones who need to use it, right?”

“I never said that,” Julie said.

“Right, you’re right, I’m sorry,” he said with a nod. “I’m sure all of you share the same sentiment and would never dabble with things you shouldn’t. How is Luke doing by the way? And your parabatai? Flynn, is it?”

“I’ve heard enough,” Julie said and turned to leave. She didn’t even know if she could trust what he had to say, he would probably try to blackmail his way out and leave her hanging in the end. As if there was any universe where Julie let him out of here.

“The demons will keep coming!” Caleb called out, making her stop. “It’s been weeks and it’s already getting out of control, isn’t it? This is nothing. They’re not gonna stop until they take you back. Your precious friends and family can’t stand in the way forever! Will you be able to live with that?”

Julie snapped back around and walked straight up to him, only the bars of the cell separating them. “There is nothing you can say that’ll convince me to get you out of here. If that lands me in Edom, so be it,” she snapped.

“Do all of you feel the same way?” Caleb asked back. “Don’t you think you carry around too many secrets to have any say in this? Especially when I’m the only one who can help you?”

“Goodbye, Caleb,” Julie said and walked away.

“Take a couple of days to think about it,” Caleb called after her. “I’ll be here.”

Julie was out of there in seconds.

Luke had been waiting for her right outside the entrance. He hadn’t wanted her to come and he definitely didn’t want to be there, but he’d been ready to walk in alongside her. Julie wasn’t going to do that to him, there was no reason. It wouldn’t be good for him, it wouldn’t be good for her and it definitely wouldn’t let the conversation go anywhere. Not that she’d gotten a lot out of it.

He wrapped her into a hug the moment she stepped out on the grass. Julie wasn’t really surprised, but she still did stumble a bit. Luke wasn’t going to let her fall anyway.

“I’m okay,” she mumbled into his shoulder. They were standing on the side of a cemetery in the middle of the day and maybe that should feel unsettling, but Julie felt oddly peaceful.

Luke didn’t really say anything, but she did feel him nod over her head. “I know,” he said before kissing the top of her head. He pulled back a little so they could look at each other. “What did he tell you?”

Another story Julie didn’t want to get into, but they’d agreed on no more secrets. If they were gonna get through this, they’d have to do it together.

“I was right,” she said. “The demons are not trying to kill me.”

“That’s good, right?” Luke said.

“According to Caleb, they… want to take me back,” she said slowly, wanting to give him enough time to process that. Not to mention herself.

“Back,” Luke repeated. “Back where?”

Julie gave a little shrug, though she was anything but nonchalant about this. “Edom,” she said. “That’s where Lilith’s supposed to be.”

“But they checked you over!” Luke insisted. “The Heavenly Fire alone should have burnt everything away!”

“Lilith is gone,” Julie stated, because that was the only thing she could do, the only thing she knew and the only thing that was keeping her sane. “But we knew things changed. Maybe it’s connected to the ghost thing. Something was left behind and that something is calling the demons back.”

“Okay, so, how do we get rid of it?” he said, ready to take action. They both knew Julie couldn’t just spend the rest of her life in the Institute and hope that things would change.

She gave a little sigh. “I don’t know. He wanted me to do him a favor and that is out of the question.”

“Wh- I’m sorry, he asked you for a favor?

“He doesn’t exactly seem bothered by the fact that he’s locked up,” she said. “He was expecting me, he knew this was going to happen. I just…” She didn’t want to continue. She didn’t know where they went after that.

“What?” Luke asked. “There’s no universe where we can do anything he asks for, clearly.”

“I know, I just- I think he doesn’t want to leave us any other choice,” she said. “He knows what happened that night. I think if we don’t cooperate he’s gonna tell them exactly how things went down. You-”

“No,” he said before she could even get into it. “This is not on you to fix. I got myself into this mess and if it comes down to it, I’m gonna deal with it. Not you. And definitely not by doing Caleb any favors which will probably be letting him run free.”

“Luke, I’m not gonna sacrifice you in order to save myself,” Julie stated. “We said we would figure this out together and we will. All of us without collateral damage.”

Luke gave her another lingering look before pulling her back into a hug, slower this time. Not with the same urgency to make sure she was okay. Some of the tension seeped out of Julie. The fact that she was still not out of the woods even after everything wasn’t lost on her, but for this little moment they could just sit there and be happy, couldn’t they?

“We’ll talk to every warlock we know,” he said. Julie nodded her head against his chest. They were going to figure this out, they didn’t need Caleb’s help. Though Julie still couldn’t shake the bad feeling. If he hadn’t said anything in so long, it was because he was playing to eventually blackmail them. Would he still keep the secret if Julie told him no? And if he didn’t… Was there even a way out of this?

She closed her eyes, leaning a bit further into Luke. She held him a little tighter. And if there was some kind of desperation behind it… Well, Luke didn’t say anything.

 


 

“This is insane,” Alex said as they walked down the street.

“This is our life,” Luke answered. “I don’t even know what to say at this point.”

“Well, we know many warlocks,” Reggie piped up. “Someone is bound to know more than Caleb. Also if Julian intercepted the story the first time, I seriously doubt you have anything to be afraid of.”

“Not to mention Caleb did the whole thing,” Alex added. “What is he gonna blame you for? Intent?”

“You do remember how things went down, right?” Luke couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes,” Alex answered with conviction. They’d already been through this multiple times. “Caleb killed Julie and then did the spell. If you hadn’t gathered the ingredients, he would have still found a way to do so. Manipulating you into it was just plan A.”

“I don’t know…” Luke sighed. “Every time we think we’re done with this whole thing, something new pops up. Julie can’t just stay in the Institute forever. And this whole thing about Edom? It- It sounds insane! Then again the demons aren’t trying to kill her, so I guess that’s good?” he continued, sounding increasingly exasperated. “I don’t know what I’m doing right now.”

“Patrolling so you can clear your head for a sec?” Reggie offered.

“I don’t want to clear my head, I want to hear back from Fuego,” he said.

“He might need more than a couple of hours,” Alex said.

“Yes, thank you,” Luke answered with a scowl. “Why are you even here? Don’t you have a honeymoon to go to?”

“Ha!” Alex nearly laughed at the idea. “I’m lucky there was enough time for me to get married before the next crisis hit.”

“To be fair you were gone for most of your wedding day so you kind of got married while the next crisis hit,” Reggie said. “Very on brand for you.”

“Yes, I love multitasking,” Alex deadpanned. Then again he had gotten married three days ago and that was… different. Good different. Nothing had really changed, but Alex still felt like everything had. He was happy. And maybe that happiness had been momentarily disturbed by everything else going on, but it hadn’t disappeared. He was happy and no one could take that away from him.

“I can’t with the quiet,” Luke said after a couple of seconds. “I need something to do and it’s like every demon has disappeared these past few days.”

“I mean, if they were looking for Julie and she’s in the Institute…” Reggie trailed off.

“Also kind of a good thing that the streets are safe?” Alex added.

“Oh come on, you know what I mean,” Luke said. “I shouldn’t even be here, I should be in the Institute with Julie.”

“Julie nearly bribed us to take you along tonight,” Alex stated. “You are slightly restless.”

Luke groaned just as all their phones chimed with a new text. Reggie was the first one to turn it on.

“Carrie and Flynn need backup,” he said.

“You had to jinx it,” Alex sighed as they picked up their pace.

“You wanted me to clear my head,” Luke said with a little shrug, slightly perking up at the idea of finally doing something to get his mind off everything. Alex couldn’t really blame him, the whole situation was off the rails and the only thing they could do right now was wait either way. They knew a few warlocks, they could ask for help and hope they heard something good in return. 

Maybe they could finally put this to bed and go back to fighting regular demons like the universe had intended in the first place. And live their actual lives while they were at it. Alex had just gotten married, he and Willie were sending Matt to school… Things were happening. He could do without the impending sense of doom.

Carrie and Flynn weren’t too far, but by the time they caught up, the fight was already in full swing. There weren’t too many demons around, though Alex’s perception had probably been screwed up after all the surges they’d had to deal with these past couple of weeks. All Alex knew was that he had his daggers, his friends were around him, the occasional arrow flying past his head. In a weird way, this was all too familiar, making the dread recede. It was when he said things like that that Willie stared at him like he was insane.

There were five of them which was a pretty good number, but Alex still felt surrounded. He threw a dagger towards Carrie, taking out a demon creeping up behind her, stabbing it through its eye. Carrie twirled around, kicking it away and into another demon a few feet away. 

Alex ran over to the other side, grabbing his dagger while he was at it, and slipped right past two demons coming for him. Trusting that someone was going to cover for him, he sliced at the one closest to the wall caging them into that part of the street, making it screech. Never much fun making demons angrier than they always seem to already be, as it came towards him with even more might. Alex had both his daggers this time, not making it as hard to keep it back until he managed to deliver the final blow.

“Alex!” someone called his name, making him snap his head around. Apparently he’d miscalculated how much of a mess he’d left behind and there weren’t many people left for cover so he was suddenly cornered. He caught Reggie in the corner of his eye trying to clear a pathway, but he’d still be a few seconds behind.

Alex attacked the one closest to him, trying to at least gain some ground and maybe buy Reggie some time. As soon as he got a good stab in, all the while trying to avoid the ichor, and spinned around to make sure he was keeping at least some distance from the other one, he found himself much closer than he’d intended.

He only had a second to think things through before the demon froze and fell to the ground in front of him, a dagger at the back of its head. Alex raised his head up just in time to see a guy he didn’t know run into the fight. He jumped, using the wall for leverage before he landed a few feet away, decapitating another of the demons with the dagger he was still holding. Clearly a Shadowhunter and saving Alex’s life was good enough for him so he could turn around and finish with the wounded demon he’d left behind himself.

The place was starting to clear up, the fact that Luke was itching for some demons to kill and the new guy joining, really working for them. He was just catching his breath when he noticed one of the demons getting the upper hand on the stranger, a deformed claw against his neck. Alex didn’t even manage to take a step before the guy moved his right hand forward, making the demon stumble for a second and lose balance. Alex noticed something gleaming in the night and only then realized the knife in his hand - always handy, Carrie couldn’t stop lecturing them about it - just before he delivered a roundhouse kick sending it straight into Carrie’s seraph blade, causing it to go up in flames.

The area was quiet once again, everyone gathering themselves. Alex took a few steps closer, the new guy zeroing in on him, nearly running over to get near him.

“Are you okay?” he called out, keeping himself back from colliding into Alex as he checked him all over.

“I am,” Alex said, not exactly sure what had prompted such a big freak out. He was clearly younger than them, but didn’t seem dangerous or even really threatening. Not to them at least, he had decimated the demons before.

“Yes, no, right, that demon, it looked- bad,” the guy tried to get through the sentence.

“Thank you for that,” Alex said because even if something felt a bit weird, he had saved his life. “I’m Alex.”

“Hi,” the guy breathed out, looking extremely relieved for some reason and once again seconds from crashing Alex into a hug. “I mean, you’re all pretty well known,” he amended, finally glancing away to look at everyone else too.

“Right,” Carrie said, clearly still suspicious, “and you are?”

The guy stared back at Carrie for a second longer, like the question had caught him off guard. “Henry,” he said.

“You have a last name, Henry?” she asked.

“Multiple actually,” Henry said, the awkwardness starting to melt away a bit the more he talked. “Cartwright. I’m from the Chicago Institute, came in with the new Academy batch.”

“Long way from home,” Carrie continued.

“Can you stop interrogating him for a second?” Alex said with a sigh.

“I will when he doesn’t seem suspicious,” she retorted.

“Yes, because everyone who’s tried to kill us in the past saved our lives first,” Alex said, rolling his eyes.

“I am actually looking for a warlock,” Henry piped up. “If that helps my case at all.”

“Okay then, another great first impression we managed to make on someone,“ Luke said. “I’m Luke by the way,” he added, introducing everyone else as well even though the guy had said he knew them already. Alex wasn’t exactly surprised after everything that’d happened. “Which warlock are you looking for?”

“I don’t know his name,” Henry said. “I just… really thought he was right here…” he trailed off, his stare somewhere far away for a second as he probably contemplated why he’d ended up there.

“Did you track him here?” Reggie asked. “We can ask Fuego, he’s our High Warlock. What did he do?”

Henry took a second longer to answer, like he couldn't decide whether he should trust them or not. “Nothing. He just has some information that could help us out. I think the tracking might have confused some things along the way…”

“Well, you stumbled into the right group of people,” Flynn said with a smile. “We have an extensive history with warlocks. Few of them have repeatedly tried to kill us, but we’re mostly on great terms.”

“Uh…”

“Kind of makes you miss the interrogating, doesn’t it?” Carrie said with a satisfied grin.

“Maybe we should move the party to the Institute?” Alex cut in. “You’re not going to find anyone alone in the middle of the night. We can reconvene tomorrow.”

“You don’t have to help-” Henry started saying.

“Dude, you bailed us out tonight,” Reggie said with a grin. “Of course, we’re going to help. And the Institute’s half empty anyway, come on!”

“Not to mention you look like you need it,” Carrie added.

“She’s nicer than she looks,” Alex couldn’t help but tell him as they all started walking away.

“Yeah,” Henry said with a little chuckle, hurrying to follow, some of the tension in his posture loosening.

“Hey, who taught you that maneuver there in the end?” Carrie suddenly asked. “Is this an Academy thing? Because I had many notes when I was there and that was really good.”

“Not the Academy,” Henry said. “It was a friend. She’s really good at… all of this, I guess.” He gave a little smile. “And she’d probably kill me that I showed up kind of unprepared, but you work with what you have and you adjust.”

“Great advice,” Carrie said with a nod. “Everybody heard that?”

“When have we ever shown up anywhere unprepared?” Luke said. “The Institute was broken into and we still managed.”

“The Institute was broken into?” Henry repeated.

“It’s been months since then,” Alex reassured him. “Everyone was caught.”

“Never a dull moment in the LA Institute,” Flynn said. “I could do with more dull moments to be honest, put the demons aside for a second. And that’s coming from me. We can’t be risking death every five minutes.”

“Uh… Just how often do you almost die?” Henry interjected.

“Not that often, like once every two months,” Carrie said, her tone rather dismissive. “But we come out mostly unscathed, I mean you see Alex. Can you even tell he was mauled by werewolves at some point?”

“You were mauled by werewolves?” Henry exclaimed, nearly stopping dead in his tracks to stare at Alex.

“Can you stop freaking him out?” Alex said, getting the others to leave them alone for a few seconds as they walked back to the Institute. “They’re messing with you.”

“So you weren’t mauled by werewolves?”

“No, that- happened,” Alex said, fully aware that he wasn’t making the situation much better. 

“The LA pack tried to kill you?” Henry insisted, still looking distraught by the whole conversation.

“No!” Alex hurried to say. “By the Angel no,” he added with a little chuckle, noting how ridiculous it sounded in the first place. “We have a great relationship with the pack here, they were just a few really misguided rogues… But I’m alive and we eventually have to carry on. It is what Shadowhunters do.”

“Yeah, I’m aware,” Henry said bitterly. “Easier said than done.”

“You learn to live with it.”

“That’s one of the options,” he said, but didn’t elaborate.

“How old are you?” Alex couldn’t help but ask. Not that he hadn’t seen himself his own share of fucked up things before he was even an adult, but it still felt unfair. How their lives always seemed to be cut short by the reality of their nature.

“Seventeen,” Henry said. “Prime Shadowhunter age for any and all traumatic events to occur,” he added, his voice monotone.

Alex was aware, he had a pretty extensive list of traumatic events to go through at any given moment, as did pretty much every other Shadowhunter out there. “Are you okay?” he asked him. Maybe he couldn’t fix whatever was wrong, but sometimes it was easier talking to someone you didn’t really know.

“No,” Henry said, turning to look at him. He gave him a little smile. “But I’m working on it.”

They reached the Institute, everybody filing inside. It was already pretty late and they could all benefit from some sleep before they even began to look for a warlock.

“Warlock! Okay, warlocks walk around during the day, I can help!” Julie said, walking right beside them as they went up the stairs.

“Did you hear from Fuego?” Luke asked.

“Not yet,” she said. “But if I don’t get out of here and do something productive in the next few days, I’m gonna scream.”

“Why can’t you get out?” Henry asked.

“A great story for another time,” Alex interjected. It wasn’t exactly that he didn’t trust the guy, but they’d also just met him. “We can pick this up in the morning.”

“Right, I just… don’t have all the time in the world,” Henry said. “I need to get back soon.”

“We can locate a warlock, it’s not the first time,” Julie tried to reassure him. “Although it really doesn’t sound like a one person job, did they actually send you alone?”

“My parabatai is supposed to join, but she had something else to take care of first,” he said. “It’ll be fine, I’m just looking for information anyway.”

“We can talk to Fuego in the morning,” Luke said. “At the very least ask around the Downworld if they know something. You can ask Willie tonight,” he told Alex.

“It’s 3 in the morning, I’m asking him after the sun has risen,” Alex deadpanned. “And I really need to get home now that you mention it.”

“You don’t live here?” Henry asked.

“No, I have a kid and brand new husband at home,” Alex said, still kind of giddy at the idea that he was actually married now. “This actually counts as my honeymoon.”

“This does not count as your honeymoon,” Julie interjected. “When we’re not drowning in all of this, you two should get away. Luke and I will babysit Matt.”

“Last time you babysat Matt, he drew over the wall in the living room,” Alex couldn’t help but say. Henry snorted next to him.

“The kid has artistic tendencies, you shouldn’t suppress that,” Luke said as if that was Alex’s issue with this. “Not to mention you made me clean it up.”

“You’re on probation until further notice,” he said, starting to back away. “I’m sure you three can figure out accommodation details and I’ll see you in the morning.”

Henry seemed like he wanted to say something more, his mouth slightly open, but decided against it. “See you in the morning,” he said instead, giving him a little smile.

Alex didn’t want to read too much into things because all in all, Henry seemed like a nice guy. There was obviously something in his mind eating at him, but weren’t they all in the same position one way or the other? Something still felt off about him though, Alex couldn’t really explain it. 

And then just hours earlier today Julie had talked to Caleb and they were all still struggling to follow. Alex really did believe that they didn’t have to fear any information about Luke or Flynn getting out, but he still didn’t like dealing with Caleb. He’d done nothing but hurt them in every possible way. But Julie? She was essentially trapped inside the Institute for as long as demons could walk the Earth unbothered. She couldn’t stay like that forever. And they could all try and make the situation a bit more lighthearted until they had answers, but the gravity wasn’t really escaping anyone.

Getting back into his apartment was a quick way for some of the anxiety of everything to fall away. Both Willie and Matt were asleep, but there was a particular sense of calm Alex couldn’t help but miss when he was away. It was the main reason why he didn’t spend hours tossing and turning into the night, for once falling asleep in minutes.

 


 

“Alex,” Alex heard a whisper followed by a little hand patting his arm. He was already kind of awake by that point and that was enough to make him blink his eyes open. Matt was standing in front of his face, coming just a bit higher than Alex. “Hi.”

Alex’s lips twitched up as he still tried to chase away the haze of sleep that remained. “Hi,” he said back. There was light coming in through the window and even though he hadn’t turned around, he could tell Willie had already gotten up. “How may I help?” he said with a little yawn in the end.

“Willie made breakfast,” Matt said. “ And you have to get ready because you said Amelia is here and we would go to the Institute!”

“Hm, I did say that,” Alex said, still trying to wake up fully. “What time is it?”

“Uhm.” Matt stopped to think for a second. “Morning.”

Alex breathed out a laugh. “Okay,” he said. “Do I have a few minutes to eat some breakfast first?”

“Yes, but you have to get up!” Matt insisted, tugging at his hand a little. “We are going to be late!”

“You know Amelia won’t get to the Institute until 10 am,” Alex said as he abandoned all hope of staying in bed for a few more minutes and pushed himself to sit up. “She might not even be there yet.”

Matt stood still for a second, thinking about it before he ran out of the room. Alex laughed quietly to himself before eventually dragging his legs off the bed and getting up. He stretched a bit as he headed out into the living room and was once again met with Matt, this time colliding with Alex’s legs.

“It’s 9:30!” he exclaimed, not the least bit bothered as he looked up at Alex.

“Great!” Alex said.

“You have three minutes!” Matt said, holding three fingers up before running into his room. Alex couldn’t help but smile again. They wanted Matt to meet more kids his age and since school wouldn’t start for at least another month, he was getting kind of restless. Alex had been a bit too excited to find out Aline’s niece would be dropping by the LA Institute more regularly from now on before also starting her studies and eventually training over there too. The fact that she and Matt were the same age was probably one of the few times the universe was actually not trying to screw Alex over. Not to mention that the kids had already met and liked each other, Alex could cry.

“In my defense, I told him thirty,” Willie pointed out from behind the counter with a smile.

“Hm, I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” Alex said as he padded over on the other side. “Hi,” he added, leaning over to kiss him. “I heard someone made breakfast.”

Willie gave an over dramatic sigh. “All you want me for,” he said as he turned around and presented Alex with a full plate and coffee mug.

“Oh wow, premium treatment,” Alex said as he sat on one of the stools.

“Yes, I’m pretending this is actually our honeymoon,” Willie said.

“Oh, we can’t,” Alex said as he took a bite from the scrambled eggs. “Julie said when this whole mess is over they’re gonna babysit Matt so we can actually go somewhere.”

“Last time Julie and Luke babysat, he broke a vase,” Willie said. “He as in Luke.”

“You never liked that vase,” Alex said.

“I was just gonna wait until someone tried to attack me at my own home so I could break it over their head or something,” he said nonchalantly. “Broken, but useful.”

Alex snorted. Ever since Matt had officially moved in, they’d taken greater precautions to make sure the apartment was as safe as it could be. Their address had been better kept after they’d moved a year ago and especially after they’d been attacked by the pack looking for Matt. It still didn’t erase their past though.

“Speaking of which, I do actually have to leave,” he said, suddenly remembering their visitor from last night.

“Speaking of what? Being attacked in our own home?” Willie clarified.

“No one’s getting attacked,” Alex said even though he didn’t really know the new guy and something was still bothering him. It wasn’t exactly bad, he wouldn’t take Matt with him if it was, but… He couldn’t really place it. “There’s a new Shadowhunter in the Institute looking for a warlock. Have you heard of anyone new coming through town?”

“Is this official business? Should I bring my planner?” Willie asked, leaning against the counter.

“You have never owned a planner in your life,” Alex deadpanned, making him laugh.

“You don’t know me, I’m full of surprises,” he said still. “But no, no one new as far as I know… Then again if they’re going into hiding I doubt I would.”

“No, it’s not a bad thing, the kid’s just looking for information,” Alex said.

“Kid?”

“He’s seventeen,” Alex said.

“God, I feel old,” Willie said.

“You have a kid, Willie, the seventeen year old Shadowhunter should not be what makes you feel old,” Alex said as he kept eating.

“Oh, thank you for the support,” he said. Alex smiled back at him, just a little bit amused by the whole situation. “One day Matt’s gonna be seventeen. You will be thirty seven. Come to me with your age crisis and I’ll say ‘I told you so’.”

“We’ll have plenty of other things to freak out about then, don’t worry,” Alex said. With every new crisis he went through he couldn’t help but think that Matt would one day have to deal with his own set of Apocalypses and he just… didn’t know how to feel about that. He just looked at him and saw a child, how could they let him go out there to fight demons?

“We agreed that’s a future us problem,” Willie reminded him.

“Well, present me isn’t too excited about it either,” Alex said just as Matt came back inside, dragging his little backpack along. “But I guess we still have some time.”

“You’re not ready!” Matt said as if he’d expected Alex to already be standing by the door. “We will be late. You have to be a Shadowhunter!”

Willie choked on a sip of his own coffee, but recovered pretty fast. “The kid is right,” he said, his voice remaining serious. “Go get ready so you can go be a Shadowhunter for the day.”

Alex stared back at him for a second longer. “You’re so lucky I kind of love you.”

Willie grinned back at him, unbothered. “I count my blessings every day.”

Alex couldn’t help the way he chuckled at that. Wanting to spare Matt the waiting period he did go get ready so they could leave. The kid didn’t have many friends, he deserved to spend as much time as he could with the ones he had.

The Institute wasn’t really quiet nowadays, but there still weren’t as many people around. With Luke and Julie planning to move out too and Reggie almost back at Kayla’s himself, the permanent residents would lessen significantly.

Matt looked around as if Amelia was going to materialize out of thin air until they heard voices coming from the kitchen. He took off first, Alex right behind him knowing there was no point in telling him to wait.

They walked in to find Julie and Flynn talking with Henry over breakfast. Alex took another second, trying to place the weird feeling. Something was just… He didn’t know what word to use. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say himself. He had saved his life last night, hadn’t he? That was a good thing.

It took about a second for the others to turn around and notice them.

“Hey-” Julie started to say, but was interrupted by Henry who choked on his cereal the second he laid eyes on them.

“You’re okay?” Flynn asked as he tried to catch his breath. He still furiously nodded, holding a thumbs up as he looked away.

“I’m fine,” he said, still trying to clear his throat.

“Well, hello,” Julie said again.

“Hi!” Matt said, not leaving any room for anyone to say anything more, “Is Amelia here?”

“She just got upstairs-” Julie barely finished her sentence before Matt was calling out a ‘bye’ and running off.

“And we probably won’t see him for the next few hours,” Alex said, looking after him for a second longer to make sure he went the right way.

“No offense, but he’ll probably have more fun with his friend rather than us,” Flynn said, taking a bite from an apple as Alex came to sit next to Henry on the other side of the table.

“You have ‘take your kid to work’ days?” Henry asked, having recovered.

“Well, work is the only place with other kids his age right now, so yeah,” Alex said. “How are you doing here? Any progress?”

“Well, Luke is asleep and Carrie and Reggie are running some errands,” Flynn said. “But we can probably call Fuego? Go over there?”

“Okay, it’s 10 am, someone should wake up Luke,” Alex couldn’t help but say.

“He hasn’t really slept since the wedding, give him another hour,” Julie said, the worry showing on her face. Alex wanted to say something more, ask if everything was okay, but he knew the answer. Even if they said they wouldn’t have to worry, even if they said they knew many warlocks, they wouldn’t relax until they had definite answers. Especially Julie and Luke. Only where Julie desperately wanted to keep busy, Luke had probably not been able to sleep for days, looking over her, waiting for something bad to happen.

“You really don’t have to worry about me, I can just-” Henry started to say when Flynn cut him off.

“Fuego is not going to trust a Shadowhunter he doesn’t know. And he’s probably the only one who knows the warlocks going in and out of the city.”

“Right,” Henry said. “So… Should we get going?”

“You’re in a rush,” Flynn observed. He’d said so last night that he didn’t have much time, though he’d never really explained why. They didn’t even really know what information he was going after.

“Yeah, well, I have some things to take care of back home, I was hoping I could get this done as fast as I can,” he said.

“I thought you were also waiting for your parabatai?” Julie asked.

“Getting this over with before she shows up would probably be better for everyone,” he said, once again cryptic as ever.

“Okay, but you’ve got to realize this sounds suspicious as hell, right?” Flynn was the one who finally said it out loud. “Because what I get from this is that no one knows you’re here and you probably shouldn’t be.”

Henry stared back at, not backing away. “In my defense, I never said anyone sent me here, you did,” he eventually said. “I’m not even doing anything bad, we actually do need some information! You can’t tell me you’ve never taken initiative with anything without letting your whole Institute know.”

And well, no one could really say anything to that, could they?

“I have no idea how to answer that without sounding like a complete hypocrite, you win,” Flynn said, leaning back into her chair.

Julie’s phone started ringing before Alex could say anything, cutting their conversation short. “It’s Fuego!” she exclaimed, grabbing it and answering in seconds. “Hello?” she said, getting up to go outside. With everything else they had asked of Fuego recently, it’d probably be better if they didn’t let outsiders know. Another way Henry's statement had hit home.

“So?” Flynn pressed on.

“So?” Henry echoed.

“If we’re gonna help you, we should probably know what we’re helping with?” she said.

“Right,” Henry said. “I didn’t ask for your help though.”

Flynn stared back at him for a moment longer. “I really can’t tell what your deal is.”

“Learned from the best,” he said with a little proud smile.

“Okay!” Alex interrupted them. “Before we say things we don’t mean-”

“I don’t say things I don’t mean,” Flynn interjected.

“Right, okay, still,” he said, telepathically begging Flynn to let this go for a second. They weren’t gonna find out anything if they just kept pushing, that much was evident.

“I’m gonna go see if Julie’s got any news.” Flynn thankfully got the message and got up, leaving them alone. Alex wasn’t sure what had possessed him to think he could get anywhere with Henry, but maybe if he at least tried, they could make sure he was telling them the truth.

“Why are you on my side?” Henry asked, staring at the cereal in front of him.

“Look, do I think you’re a psychopath here to murder us all? No,” Alex said, not really making the greatest start. “But we’ve had bad luck in the past and it always ended with someone hurt, so you can understand the suspicion. I know you don’t know us and you have no reason to trust us-”

“I screwed up,” Henry cut him off, his head snapping up to look at him. “Bad. Really bad actually. There was a mission and things went wrong and I-” he stopped, looking away again. “I screwed up.” He let out a shaky breath, glancing back at Alex. “I’m trying to fix my mistake. That’s not so bad, is it?”

Alex did not really expect this whole outburst. He had no idea if he’d actually said something right or if the kid just wanted to tell someone what was going on. What he’d told Alex last night made more sense now. “It’s not,” he said. “But going at it alone is not the best decision either.”

“I’m really determined.”

“Yes, that’s how you usually end up really dead,” Alex said back.

Henry let out a little snort against everything, a hand going through his hair. “You have a way with words.”

Alex gave him a smile. “Yeah, I’ve been told,” he said.

“I just…” Henry trailed off. “I really can’t fail here. I need to find this warlock, I have to make this work.”

“And your parabatai? She’s…?”

“Not exactly aware of the plan?” Henry said, turning it into a question. “I didn’t think she would agree. Actually I think she might murder me when I get back home, so you know. I asked another friend for help and it brought me here. I thought I would get to the warlock last night, but I’m guessing something must have gotten lost in translation.”

“Your friend is a warlock?”

“Yeah, he could only get me this far…” Henry trailed off once again. “I’m really not here to murder you all.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think you were,” Alex said, his voice soft, but confident. There was nothing screaming threat inside his head. No, if anything he actually wanted to help him. Whatever mistake he had made, he deserved a chance to fix it. Alex was no stranger to things going awry during missions, he could understand the sentiment. He could also recognize the need for help. “Come on.”

“Come where?” Henry asked as Alex pushed himself to get up.

“I thought you were in a hurry?” Alex said.

“You’re still on board with this?” Henry asked as he hurried to follow Alex out of the kitchen.

“You thought we were gonna throw you out?” Alex asked, amused as he glanced back at him.

“Well, you wouldn’t throw me out, but still,” Henry said, shaking his head a little from side to side.

“I think we can work something out,” Alex said as they walked out to find Flynn alone. “Where’s Julie?”

“Went to wake Luke up, Fuego might have found something about our own issues,” she said, glancing over at Henry. “What is going on here?”

“Well, I’m pretty certain he’s not going to betray or kill us all, so we can relax,” Alex said.

“I just need to be done with this and I’ll be out of your hair,” Henry added.

“Look,” Flynn started out, her expression softening a bit. It wasn’t like Alex didn’t understand why she was wary in the first place, but he liked to believe he was a good judge of character. “I’ve made enough questionable choices myself, I’m not gonna judge you for that. But I care about these people and we’ve already been screwed over a few times.”

“I know what you mean,” Henry said. “And trust me when I say I want what’s best for everyone. I just don’t really know where to go right now and if Fuego can help…”

“He will,” Alex said. Hopefully he’d be able to help everyone.

 


 

“There are far too many Shadowhunters in here,” Fuego sighed as he moved past everyone, a book opened in his hands.

“You called us,” Luke pointed out.

“I called Julie,” Fuego clarified. “I figured I’d get you two, maybe a surprise guest? What are we doing here? And who is that?” he added, his eyes going over everyone and landing on Henry.

“Okay, wait, one thing at a time,” Julie stopped him. “This is Henry, he’s looking for a warlock who might be able to help him, we figured you may know where to find them.”

“What warlock?” Fuego asked.

“I don’t know his name,” Henry started.

“Great start,” Fuego said. “I’m sorry, I’ve been dealing with a lot, warlocks keep coming in ever since we fixed the ley lines and it’s been a mess. Adding your thing to the mix,” he added, looking over at Julie, “I’m this close to throwing it all away and going on vacation. How has it only been four days since the wedding?”

“Yes, trust me, I wonder the same thing every day,” Alex said. He just needed his life to be a little bit different, he wasn’t asking for much.

“Do you know anything about your warlock? At least something to narrow it down? A warlock mark?” Fuego asked.

“He must have gotten here a couple of days ago,” Henry said. “Has scales down his arms.”

“Scales? Doesn’t really ring a bell,” he said. “Where are you from again?”

“Chicago,” Henry said.

“Chicago…” Fuego echoed. “The description doesn’t remind me of anyone, you’d probably have better luck at the Shadow Market. Julie,” he continued before anyone could say anything more, “I’m gonna need you to stay here for a few hours.”

“Do you know how to fix this?” Julie asked. They were still dancing around the issue, not wanting to let any strangers in and Fuego had thankfully followed along. Henry obviously knew something was going on, but he hadn’t asked.

“That is what we’re gonna figure out together,” he said, closing the book in his hands. “You don’t have anything better to do today, do you?”

And well, this was their number one issue right now, so not really, no.

Julie, Luke and Flynn stayed back, promising to let them know if something changed. The Shadow Market wouldn’t really open until tonight, so there was nothing more Henry could do for the time being, but he still seemed ready to go running down the street, hoping he somehow bumped into the right person.

“Look, you might find him in the Shadow Market,” Alex said as they were walking back. “Though they’re not exactly fond of helping Shadowhunters over there, so try to keep a low profile.”

“Oh, it’s fine, I can handle it, I used to go to the Shadow Market a lot when I was younger,” Henry said, sounding particularly casual.

“Yeah? How come?” Alex asked.

“My pops used to take me with him when he had errands to run,” he said, a faint smile on his lips. “People like him and he figured it might help a few years down the line if they already knew who I was too.”

“Oh that’s cool, my parents usually avoided the Shadow Market as much as they could,” Alex said, not really surprised by said fact. “We’re on pretty friendly terms with the Downworlder leaders in LA, but the Shadow Market is still tricky sometimes. It really depends on whom you’re trying to reach. Sometimes I just ask Willie nicely,” he added with a chuckle. “My husband, he’s a werewolf.”

“And you adopted a Shadowhunter,” Henry said.

“Yeah, Matt,” Alex said with a smile. “He’s a great kid. And I need to make sure Willie doesn’t need to be at work tonight if we’re gonna go to the Market.”

“Aren’t you gonna call?” Henry asked when Alex didn’t make any moves.

“The bar’s like a block away, we can make a little detour and then go back to the Institute,” Alex said as they crossed the street.

“Wait, what?” Henry called out as he suddenly looked around him, like he’d recognize the area.

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked. “We’re on great terms with the pack.”

“No, that’s-” Henry tried to say. “I… God, this is getting far more complicated than what I started out for,” he sighed, but still followed Alex dutifully.

“Look, I know you were hoping you’d get this over with yesterday and we’re a little all over the place, but the Shadow Market really is your best bet here,” Alex tried to reassure him. “At the very least you can ask your warlock friend for help again, maybe he can join you here.”

“Yeah…” Henry trailed off, although didn’t sound as confident about that. “Hey, is Julie okay?” he suddenly asked. “You keep saying something is going on, but I don’t see anyone freaking out.”

“Uhm…” Alex had been hoping to avoid that conversation. “Some stuff has happened lately. You’ve probably heard, everyone’s heard. We’re still trying to find our normal, you know?”

“Yes. Lilith, right?” he asked. “That- It really sounded insane. I’ve always wondered how that even went down. And I mean Julie- she’s amazing!”

“Yeah, she is,” Alex said, still pretty proud of his friend. Sometimes he still marveled over the fact that they’d survived everything. That she’d survived everything and they got to continue living their lives. If they could solve this demon problem too, they could just move on and never look back again.

It only took them a few more seconds to get to the bar. It was barely open at this time, but Alex still spotted a couple of people here and there, drinking coffees.

“To what do we owe the Shadowhunter pleasure at 11:30 in the morning?” Willie called out behind the counter as they entered.

“Would you believe me if I said we were literally just in the neighborhood?” Alex asked as they walked in closer and he leaned in to peck his lips. “Because we were. Also, I might have something to do tonight, what time can you be home?”

Willie was about to answer when his eyes landed on Henry next to him. Alex wouldn’t say he seemed wary, but there was definitely some… confusion. Willie faltered, tilting his head a bit as if he was trying to figure something out. “Do I know you?” he eventually asked.

“No… I’m pretty new here,” Henry said with a little shake of his head. 

“The Shadowhunter I told you about,” Alex said although Willie still didn’t seem convinced. “Henry, Willie,” he made the necessary introductions. Henry did seem a bit restless, but Alex didn’t think it had to do with the pack. The guy had said it himself, he was used to Shadow Markets and such, that couldn’t be it.

“Hi,” Willie said slowly. “Are you sure you’ve never been to LA before?”

“No, not really,” Henry said. “You’re probably confusing me with someone else.”

“Yeah, probably…” Willie trailed off and eventually turned back to Alex. “What’s going on tonight?”

“We want to stop by the Shadow Market,” Alex said, moving past that whole interaction. “I won’t be too late. Unless you can’t get out of it-”

“No, it’s fine, I can pick Matt up from the Institute and we’ll go home together,” he said.

“I love you so much,” Alex couldn’t help but say. “When the world is not on fire, I’m taking you on the best honeymoon.”

“When isn’t the world on fire, babe? We almost missed our wedding,” Willie said with a snort. And well, sure, he had a point, but they didn’t have to say it.

“You almost missed your wedding?” Henry piped up.

“We got married in the end and that’s what matters,” Willie said with a little smile. “But you know, our world is kind of crazy by default. You need to adjust, work with what you have.” Alex had heard the speech multiple times. And no matter how much he wanted the world to adjust to them, it usually just didn’t work like that.  “Okay, I’m sorry, this is driving me insane, do you have any relatives in town?” Willie suddenly added.

“No, they’re back in Idris,” Henry said. “But maybe someone’s come by LA at some point? I’m not sure who I could be reminding you of,” he added with a little awkward chuckle.

“Yeah… You know what, it’s probably the lack of sleep, our schedules are fucked up at best,” Willie eventually said.

“Probably,” Henry agreed, still rocking on his heels a bit.

“Okay,” Alex announced in the silence I followed. “We’re gonna go back now, get everything ready, make sure our child is alive and thriving.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Willie agreed with a little smile.

“Could you give us a second?” Alex asked Henry.

“Oh yeah, of course,” Henry said, a bit too eager to get back outside. “Nice to meet you!” he called out to Willie as he backed away.

“You too,” Willie said, staring after him for a couple of seconds more.

“Okay, what is going on? Are you okay?” Alex asked him as soon as they were alone.

“I feel like I know him, there’s something familiar…” he trailed off, still staring at the door.

“What do you mean familiar?” Alex asked. “He came from Chicago, but he was in the Academy before. I seriously doubt he’s crossed LA.”

“I know, but still,” Willie insisted, finally turning to Alex. “Certain things are indicative and something doesn’t add up here. Your scent, your heartbeat, even the way you walk, I can pick you out in a crowd. You, Matt, our friends…”

“People you’re always around,” Alex finished.

“Yes. Something’s familiar about Henry. I just…” He groaned like he couldn’t really explain it himself. “I can’t exactly place it, it doesn’t make sense. Is he trustworthy?”

“Yeah, he…” Alex tried to go through every interaction they’d had so far. There weren’t many. “He’s made some kind of mistake and he’s been trying to fix it. He’s not a bad guy.”

“I don’t think he’s a bad guy, I’m just…” he trailed off, focusing back on Alex. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t be suspicious of everyone, but we’ve been burnt in the past. And it’s not just the two of us anymore.”

Alex couldn’t exactly blame him, last time someone had dropped in on them without giving them the whole story, Alex had kind of died for a few seconds there. It was a lot to carry with you, especially now that they had a kid too. And though Alex would still insist that Henry was not a threat, the fact that he was stumbling through explanations and still leaving things out was cause for concern. But Alex still believed everything he’d told him. He hadn’t made that up. The guilt, the remorse… Whatever had happened, whatever Henry had done, he hadn’t taken it lightly.

“I know,” Alex said, his hand coming over Willie’s on the bar. “I don’t think we need to worry, but even if we do, I’m not letting it reach us this time, okay?”

Willie sighed as he turned his hand around, taking hold of Alex’s. “I know you won't, I just don’t want you to get hurt either.”

“I’m not gonna get hurt,” Alex couldn’t help but say before he’d even finished his sentence. It was a dumb statement, they’d learnt that the hard way. No matter the situation they couldn’t really make that promise, could they?

“You’d better not,” Willie told him back, his lips twitching up for a second. Maybe it was everything that’d happened with Julie. It had put everything into a new perspective. Sure, they could die, doing what they did. But they could actually die. It was real. Then again Willie had probably gotten the message long ago. He’d found Alex dead, he’d carried him back to the Institute, those weren’t images you just forgot about.

“We’ll talk again later, okay?” Alex gave his hand a squeeze.

“Okay,” Willie said, tugging him a little closer, pecking his lips once again. “Go have fun doing Shadowhunter things.”

Alex smiled at him. “Will do.”

 


 

“He said he was going to try a few more things and stay in touch, but for the time being I’m still stuck here,” Julie said with a groan as she laid on the couch in the music room, staring at the ceiling.

“Julie, you’re safe in here,” Luke pointed out, sitting on the piano bench. It was a testament to how complicated things still were that he wasn’t holding a guitar.

“I am trapped in here,” Julie clarified as she turned around a little to look at him. “How are we even supposed to move out if I can’t leave the Institute after the sun sets? Not to mention Caleb is trying to blackmail us…”

“Oh God, don’t mention Caleb…” Alex groaned from his place on the window bench. “But he really doesn’t have a hold on you, there’s nothing he could say that would bypass what has already been said. He was trying to get you to help him.”

“As if that could ever happen,” Luke said with a huff. “I don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“That he’s locked up in the Silent City and he doesn’t want to be,” Julie sighed and pushed herself to sit up. “I am not going to help him. Obviously. But if he tries to throw you and Flynn under the bus-”

“There’s no if, Jules, Flynn told you as much too,” Luke cut her off. “We tied up all loose ends and if we haven’t, we’re gonna deal with it if we get to it.”

Julie nodded a little although she didn’t seem as confident about the whole thing. Alex knew Luke wasn’t exactly swimming in confidence either, but he wasn’t going to say anything.

“Shouldn’t you be leaving for the Shadow Market soon?” she asked, choosing to change the subject instead. “Where’s Henry?”

“Upstairs in the room he stayed,” Alex said. There hadn’t been much to do ever since they came back and Henry had been content spending some time away from everyone else. Willie had picked Matt up a couple of hours ago and Alex was just hoping they wouldn’t actually take too long tonight and he could be back home early. “But yeah, we should be going.”

“Hey, question, has anyone heard from the others? Any idea what’s going on?” Luke suddenly asked.

It was true, Carrie and Reggie had been gone before the day had even started and they were still not back. According to Flynn they were in Idris and she’d followed before they’d left Fuego’s place. Alex was not sure what was going on and why they hadn’t been informed yet.

“When do you think we should start getting worried?” Alex asked.

“They’re in Idris, that’s not bad,” Julie said. “Though the timing is a bit suspicious. And Flynn already knew what was going on… I don’t know, I need to handle one crisis at a time, please.”

“If we-” Alex started to say when the door suddenly bursted open and Reggie rushed in.

“You’re here! Good, that’s good,” he said, closing it right behind him.

“Dude!” Luke called out as he got up. “What’s going on? You’ve been gone for hours!”

“Yes, right, so-” He looked over at everyone, trying to get his thoughts in order. “Carrie showed up at Kayla’s at like 8 am and asked me to make a portal for Idris and I did and it took us a few hours to get through everything, but we did and we asked around a lot and there’s nothing. That cannot be good.”

“Reg, you’re gonna have to fill in the blanks,” Alex said.

“Right,” Reggie said with a nod. “Carrie thought there might be something going on with Henry and she wanted to go to Idris to look into it. So we went together to the Academy and we looked through the records, we asked her dad and a lot of other people and no one knows a Henry Cartwright. We looked over the family trees, people who have Ascended over the past few years, there are no new Cartwrights,” he explained, pacing around the room a bit as he did. “The same with the Chicago Institute. They haven’t had new people come in, much more Cartwrights. Whoever this guy is, he’s been lying to us from the start.”

“What?” Julie moved in right next to Luke. “Who is he then? And why did you even look into him in the first place?”

“Carrie said something felt off, I don’t know,” Reggie said. “I figured if we went together we’d get it done faster. Then it took half a day. It doesn’t matter, something is going on here!”

“No, no, wait,” Alex stopped them, trying to follow along as he moved in closer too. “He- He wasn’t lying about everything else.”

“If he lied about his name he had no reason to say the truth about anything else,” Luke said, ready to dart for the door. “He’s still upstairs, isn’t he?”

Alex would have sworn that he wasn’t a threat. The others were suspicious and whatever had happened with Willie before wasn’t exactly encouraging either, but Alex still felt like they were reading things wrong. Henry hadn’t lied to him that morning or last night for that matter. Whatever had happened, he was carrying it with him. Whatever mistake he’d made, he was desperately trying to fix it, he hadn’t been lying about that. But still, Alex didn’t know what to make of the fact that he didn’t seem to exist.

“Look, there was something suspicious, sure, but not in a bad way,” Alex tried to say.

“Dude, he doesn’t exist!” Reggie repeated. “That is not a great start.”

“I know, but can you just all trust me for a second?” Alex insisted. “Before we go charging up there.”

“Do you know something we don’t?” Julie asked.

“No, I just-” he stopped himself. He just what? Had a feeling? Was that good enough when they had facts? “I don’t know why he lied, but I still don’t think he’s a threat. Can’t we just go ahead with the plan and keep an eye on him? We’ll figure out if he’s planning something else, it’s not like he’s gonna tell us he lied if we ask nicely.”

“I mean, it would be easier to find out what he’s after if we just play along…” Julie said.

“Exactly! Where are Carrie and Flynn?” Alex asked.

“They stayed behind to wrap everything up,” Reggie said.

“Great. I’ll go to the Shadow Market with him like we planned-”

“Alone?” Luke interjected. “You can’t go alone, we just said we don’t know what he wants!”

“You can tail us,” Alex amended.

“That’s gonna go great in the Shadow Market,” Reggie muttered.

“You have a better plan?” Alex asked.

“Well, my original plan was to panic, so no,” he said.

“I don’t like the timing of this…” Luke trailed off. “Too many weird things have been happening lately. First with Asmodeus and whoever summoned him, now the demons and Caleb and a surprise Shadowhunter combined?”

“You think they’re related?” Julie questioned.

“Well, Henry said he’s looking for a warlock…” Reggie said. “We still don’t know who called upon Asmodeus.”

“Okay, we need to go now,” Alex said. The more details that were coming up about this, the more he was starting to feel antsy. Was he so wrong? Had he just been played with a sorrowful enough story? Willie’s reaction was still in the forefront of his mind. It hadn’t made sense, but maybe it had? Maybe if Henry was mixed up with everything else he’d already been to LA at least once. Maybe he and Willie had crossed paths without even knowing it. Maybe he felt familiar because he actually was.

They filed out of the music room, about to go upstairs, only to find Henry coming their way. Alex wouldn’t say they were the best at keeping secrets - which was insane, considering how many things they were keeping hidden - but were quick enough to recover.

“Hey, ready to go?” Luke asked, frighteningly casual considering the reality of their situation.

“Yeah,” Henry said. “Are we… all going together?”

“No, just me,” Alex said. “Luke and Reggie have to go on patrol.”

“Call if you find anything out,” Julie said. Alex could tell she was itching to run out the front door with them but it wasn’t going to do anything other than cause an even bigger chaos. He really wished Fuego was gonna come up with something.

Alex wasn’t really the first to make conversation with people he didn’t really know, but this time he might have been a bit quieter than usual as he walked down the street with Henry. He couldn’t help it. He was trying to piece this together, but he still felt like he was missing something. Something important. Had Henry lied about his name? And if he had then what was it? No one recognized him and he’d been seen by other people in the Institute as well. Was he just that confident that no one was going to know who he was? And where had he even come from in the first place? He had to be affiliated with an Institute, hadn’t he?

“You’re okay?” Henry’s voice suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts. “You haven’t said much ever since we left.”

“Yeah, no, sorry,” Alex said, shaking his head a bit. “Just a lot on my mind. I’m here.”

“I told you I could just go on my own, I know my way around Shadow Markets,” Henry reminded him. He had been trying to distance himself from them ever since coming here. Even though he’d supposedly told Alex his secret now. Was he just overthinking every little interaction?

“Not a fan of company?” he asked instead.

“No, it’s not that, I just… don’t want to throw you off schedule,” Henry tried to say. “I’m sure you have many other things to worry about. Especially with whatever’s going on with Julie.”

It was things like that that weirded Alex out a bit. How he talked about them like he knew exactly what he was talking about. Which he shouldn’t. What if he did though? What if he really was here with a different goal? He had saved his life last night, could Alex just be completely off?

“Yeah…” he said with a little shrug, not wanting to confirm anything. “It’s okay, I promise. We want to help. You said it yourself, you don’t have much time. Maybe your parabatai will end up joining you.”

“Maybe,” Henry said with a nod though he didn’t sound certain about it at all. “Or I’m just gonna find him tonight and get this over with.”

“You never really said what 'this' is,” Alex tried to get any kind of information out of him. “I know you said a mission went wrong, but what exactly are you looking to find out from the warlock?”

Henry didn’t answer immediately. “He’s the only one who can help me fix my mistake,” he said. “I need to find him, there’s no other solution here.”

The way he kept saying it… The way he’d talked about everything since last night…

“You lost someone, didn’t you?” Alex spoke quietly. They were glamoured, but Alex still felt the need to be quiet. If he was right, it probably wasn’t a pleasant thing for Henry to talk about.

The way Henry’s breath hitched told Alex everything he needed to know. Something must have gone horribly wrong in that mission.

“I’m sorry,” he said. They still weren’t sure about his intentions, but Alex had seen one of his best friends die in front of him when he was just fifteen. It wasn’t the kind of thing you just forgot about.

“Don’t be,” Henry said, his expression unreadable as he stared straight ahead. “He’s not dead yet.”

Alex had clearly stepped into sensitive territory. Part of him really wanted to hear the exact right words coming out of his mouth so he could rule this whole insanity out.

“I’m still sorry about your friend,” he said.

“My dad,” Henry corrected him, still not turning to look at him. “It’s my dad, not a friend. But I’m gonna fix it, so it’s fine.”

“You don’t sound-”

“Fine?” Henry cut him off, finally staring straight at Alex and stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “No. I’ve honestly not been great for a few days now, but I’m trying to do something here to fix that. I’ll be out of your hair tonight and you can go back to your life, planning your honeymoon and getting Matt ready to start school and everyone will be happy!”

And Alex was about to say something reassuring, try to calm him down before they had to go into the Shadow Market because going in angry and agitated wasn’t going to help anyone… Only something made him stop.

“How do you know we’re getting Matt ready to start school?” he asked.

Because that wasn’t a fact. Mundane school was one option amongst many, Henry couldn’t have known how exactly they’d chosen to proceed. Shadowhunter training wouldn’t start until he was ten, but general tutoring came before that. That year in between then and now? Henry couldn’t have known they were sending Matt to school. He couldn’t even really know his age.

Henry froze for a second like a deer caught in the headlights. “I…” he trailed off. “It made sense,” he said, but didn’t even sound convincing this time, his eyes darting around Alex’s face a bit as if hoping he would believe him. “He’s five, isn’t he?”

“I never said how old he was,” Alex said.

Henry’s expression instantly turned into regret. “Shit.”

Alex reacted before he’d even finished the word, one of his daggers in hand and inches away from Henry’s neck as he backed them both against the wall behind them. Luke and Reggie would probably show up in a few seconds too.

“No, no, wait-” Henry tried to say, but Alex cut him off.

“I don’t know what you’re doing here, I don’t care if you’ve come to kill us all,” he said, keeping his voice quiet. “What I care about is my son’s safety.”

“Yes, the irony of this is not lost on me,” Henry said, not exactly comfortable with the whole situation, but also far less worried than Alex would have expected.

“What happened?” Luke called out as he showed up next to Alex out of nowhere just as he’d expected. Reggie was probably keeping the vantage point in case they actually were in danger.

“You brought backup?” Henry gave him an incredulous expression as if Alex was in the wrong here.

“You’ve been lying to us ever since we met, I think it was warranted,” Alex said, still not moving the dagger away. “Henry Cartwright doesn’t exist.”

“You researched me?” Henry still didn’t seem to take this as seriously as he should. “It was Carrie, wasn’t it? She clocked me from the start, I knew I wouldn’t be able to get around it, what else was I supposed to do?”

“I am so lost right now,” Luke said, actually staring at him confused.

“Can you move the dagger away?” Henry said, glancing at the blade and back at Alex.

“Can you give me a good reason?” Alex asked back.

“Okay, okay, look, I- I’m not supposed to be here,” Henry said, a bit more worry finally seeping into his features.

“You’ve said as much,” Alex said.

“No, it’s- Just-” Henry tried to finish a sentence. “If I tell you my name will you move the dagger away?”

“And what would that name be?”

Henry hesitated. Alex wasn’t sure what was happening, what name could be so bad that he didn’t even want to speak of it? “I told you I have a warlock friend that sent me here, right?” he said. “Well, he kind of- did a bit more than just tell me ‘go to LA’. There was a spell involved because the warlock we’re after was using forbidden magic and he wasn’t there anymore.”

“In Chicago,” Luke said.

“In LA,” Henry corrected him.

“What is happening?” Luke said mostly to himself. Alex shared the sentiment.

“If I tell you my name, do you promise not to freak out?” Henry said and for a second there he sounded like a little kid, asking his dad not to get mad for breaking the rules. Alex shouldn’t fall for that, right?

“Why would we freak out?” he asked instead.

“I told you I have multiple last names,” he said, his voice suddenly shaking a bit, his previous confidence suddenly gone. “For some, Fairchild would be more accurate, but I usually go with Lightwood. Makes more sense, I was raised by one anyway.”

If Alex thought this was confusing before, he was probably losing his mind now.

Because this? There was only one explanation. And that was that he was losing his mind.

Alex’s voice came out quieter than what he was going for when he spoke next. “What are you saying?”

Henry stared back at him, looking kind of lost and maybe a little confused too. “Hi, dad?” he said with a little shrug.

“What the hell?” Alex heard Luke whisper right next to him. And yeah. That.

Because this was insane.

“You don’t seriously expect us to believe this, right?” Alex said. He couldn’t believe this. Shouldn’t. Because even in their world, this had to be a bit too much, right?

“I can prove it!” Henry - should he still be calling him that? - said. “The night you found me, I was being hunted by werewolves. The two of you were there together!”

“That’s not a secret,” Alex said, trying to hold on to the last bit of sanity he had left.

“My first night here I stayed at the Institute, but eventually ended up at your place in the middle of the night and it was good and my life sucked but then it didn’t! I was scared and I didn’t want to be because Shadowhunters are brave, they aren’t supposed to be scared and you said that everybody gets scared, especially-”

“Shadowhunters,” Alex finished for him. He was pretty sure he was going numb. Really bad timing for a panic attack, that would have to wait.

He moved the dagger back. He didn’t say anything more. Luke didn’t either. What could they even begin to say?

“The warlock was using dark magic and he came back here,” Hen- No. Not Henry. Matt. This was Matt standing in front of them. The same Matt who had woken him up this morning. Only more than a decade older. A headache was building. “Max found a spell that didn’t require any dark magic, not as good, but he managed to send me back too. I don’t have much time, we need-”

“No, no,” Luke was the first one to recover and cut him off. “You can’t just– say all of that and be like, anyway, let’s move along! What?" He turned to Alex who was still trying to work through the headache to process everything. “Alex! Say something!”

“You time traveled,” Alex said slowly, the words foreign on his tongue. He couldn’t be saying these things.

“I had a good reason,” Matt said.

And that. Alex could not get into that right now.

“What is going on?” Reggie finally joined them, bow over his shoulder.

“Literally anything you can think of will be a hundred percent wrong,” Luke said on Alex’s other side.

“We are going back,” Alex said.

“To the Institute?” Matt said. “We can’t, the Market-”

“No,” Alex cut him off, sounding remarkably calm considering what was going on. “Luke and Reggie are going to the Shadow Market. You and I are going home.”

“Wh-”

“You can handle it, right?” Alex asked his friends.

“Yep, one hundred percent, we’re on it,” Luke said, dragging Reggie off with him who was still trying to figure out what was going on. Alex could hear Luke explain before they were even out of earshot.

“Come on,” Alex said and started walking.

“What are we doing?” Matt called out, but followed Alex nonetheless. “We don’t have all the time in the world and if he’s at the Shadow Market-”

“You told us what he looks like so if he’s at the Shadow Market, Luke and Reggie will let us know,” Alex said, still moving forward. “We are going to have a talk.”

“Uhm… Is it okay if I take my chances with the warlock instead?” Matt said.

“Let’s see how you do with a Shadowhunter and a werewolf first,” Alex said.

He was still not a hundred percent sure he wasn’t hallucinating. Or going insane. That it was really Matt following him.

Matt who was seventeen and somehow here. Matt who was looking for a warlock. Matt who had said his dad was dying.

What the hell happened?