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Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Almost complete silence. If not for the ticking of the clock and the clicking of buttons, it would have been truly quiet. The classroom appeared empty at first glance, filled with nothing but an array of chairs and desks, but in the back corner sat a boy with long navy bangs, completely consumed in his newest game. His back was flush against the metal wall and his legs were pulled up to his chest in an attempt to make himself as small as possible. He came here to escape the chaos and disarray of his everyday life. Though he loved his friends with every fiber of his being, sometimes it just got too overwhelming. He needed a break from time to time to spend all alone with nothing but his game.
Pochi jumped at the sound of the doorknob turning. He almost threw his game across the room in his scramble to pause it. His head jerked up toward the door, body going stiff at the unexpected interruption. The door wasn’t propped open more than a crack. For a moment he wondered if it had been the wind he had heard, but he was almost 100% certain that he had closed that door, and wind that could turn handles was not something he ever wanted to think about. The door opened an inch more and an eye peered in. Pochi immediately felt his stress and anxiety fade as he caught sight of golden eyes and messy orange hair. He let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and resumed his game, completely ignoring the newcomer. He knew Reycho wouldn't disturb him.
The door slowly inched open until the gap was wide enough for Reycho to slide his body through, peering out into the hall to make sure no one had seen him before softly closing the door behind him. Reycho was quick to find him, not that Pochi had really been trying that hard to hide in the first place. He could feel Reycho staring at him, but had no trouble ignoring it, allowing himself to once again become immersed in the unique world held inside his game. Pochi saw no reason to worry about why Reycho was there and was more than happy to share his safe space with the redhead if he needed it.
Soft footsteps approached him, getting louder and louder the closer they got. Reycho came to a halt right beside him and a moment passed before he heard the clang of metal against the wall as Reycho leaned against it and slid down to his feet. The boy let out a small noise of distress, careful to make sure he didn’t knock into Pochi as he buried his face in his knees and stopped moving completely. Minutes passed with nothing changing. It didn’t take a genius to tell that something was wrong.
Pochi hummed as he completed his level, pleased with himself for passing yet another stage. He didn’t know why he never bought harder games, considering that he cleared these so easily. Maybe there was just something nice about relaxing and allowing himself to become enthralled completely in a world that didn’t take much thought. He stared at his reflection in the screen when he finally powered the game down, sighing as he set it gently on the ground next to him and out of mind. He finally lifted his head to look at the boy sitting next to him. Sure enough, he was completely still, the same way he had been since he’d sat down. If he didn’t know any better, he’d think that Reycho looked peaceful. Any normal person would have assumed he’d fallen asleep, but Pochi knew that sleeping wasn’t something that robots like them necessarily did. Sure, they needed to recharge every once in a while, but not nearly as often as humans slept, and charging mode wasn't quite the same as sleeping. It was a subtle difference, but it was there.
Pochi spent a while just waiting. He could tell that Reycho knew he was focusing his attention on him now, and that he would eventually make some kind of indication that he was ready to talk. He could wait until then. He’d sat through countless nights staring at the ceiling while his friends were sound asleep. Something like that teaches a person to be patient. It was a skill that was essential for his sanity. Staring at Reycho was infinitely more interesting than the dark ceilings he had become so familiar with. He certainly preferred this view. Pochi could just barely see the patches where Reycho’s metal skin had been replaced around his left eye. Pochi was no artist, and color matching his paint had been no easy task. If Reycho had his eyes open, he was sure he could spot the differences between the original and the repaired one easily. Even with his eyes closed, Pochi felt a strange fondness for them. Small traces of guilt for what had happened to his friend still lingered, but he was glad that he had managed to repair him in a way that Reycho had been happy with.
A small sound came out of Reycho’s mouth before he went silent again, like he was struggling to get the words out. “I…” He trailed off once more. “I don't like… talking… It feels wrong.”
Pochi silently nodded, even though he knew Reycho couldn't see him with his head buried in his knees. That was fair enough. Reycho had gone so long expressing himself through nothing but gestures, so it must have been weird to suddenly gain the ability to speak. If Reycho chose not to, that’d be fine with him. He liked Reycho whether or not he talked. Either way, he'd still be Reycho, and he'd still be special to Pochi.
“Everything feels wrong, Pochi…” Reycho whispered. “It's so hard… This sentience thing… I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it.”
Pochi slowly reached out and touched one of Reycho's arms. He flinched at first, the feeling unfamiliar, then leaned into the touch, allowing Pochi to pry his arms away from his face and look into his eyes.
“I-” Reycho started, looking back at Pochi nervously. “I'm scared… There's just so much to take in… Like… The smells… I've never smelled anything before. Even the pleasant smells feel wrong for me to experience. I feel like it's something that doesn't belong to me. It's like I'm intruding on something I was never meant to know…”
“And then there's touch. I've never touched anything before. There are hard and soft surfaces. Fluffy and sharp too. I never knew there were so many. It's overwhelming… I don't think I experience touch the same way as the others. They complain about pain that I can’t feel. They find hard surfaces uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I'm doing it wrong. Pochi, I don't feel like I deserve such a wonderful thing if I’m not even experiencing it correctly.”
“Reycho… You're not doing it wrong.” Pochi's voice came out a lot firmer than he had expected it to, but he meant what he said and needed to make sure his friend understood. “Reycho… We're different… We're never going to be like the others. You, me, and Yuki… I’m not going to try to lie to you and tell you we can ever be the same as a human. But just because we're different doesn't make us worth any less.”
Reycho watched Pochi intently with wide, listening eyes. That was one thing that would never change about him, puppet or not.
“Like… would you ever tell Yuki that she can't eat her favorite foods because she can't experience certain tastes?”
Reycho shook his head furiously.
“What about me? Would you ever tell me that I can't listen to my favorite music because I'm more sensitive to loud noises than the others?”
Reycho’s eyes widened like he was disgusted at even the idea of saying something so rude and uneducated to his friend. He wordlessly shook his head again, waving his hands in front of him for extra emphasis.
“Then it's the same for you,” Pochi stated simply. “None of us would ever judge you for something like that.”
Reycho looked away, keeping his gaze low and to the ground. Pochi could still tell he was doubtful, but at least a small smile managed to creep onto Reycho’s face, whether the redhead noticed it or not.
“We can make accommodations for you too, Reycho. I'm sure everyone would be willing.”
Reycho gave him a questioning look, Reycho’s way of encouraging him to elaborate further on what he meant. Even as his own, new person, many of Reycho’s mannerisms stayed the same as they had been while Pochi was controlling him. Pochi knew exactly what Reycho was saying better than anyone. It made a small pang of fondness for his friend run through his body knowing that they understood each other so well.
Pochi thought for a second about how he and the others could lighten the load on Reycho while he still got used to his new consciousness. “Like… we could learn sign language together. Then we can teach the others. It might take some time but I'm sure everyone would be willing to do that for you.”
Reycho looked a little disbelieving at the suggestion. “Sign language?” he mumbled quietly. “You'd do that for me?”
“Mhm.”
Reycho looked at the ground again with that sad smile on his face. Pochi hated to see it. He could still tell that Reycho didn't see himself as worthy of such a big dedication, no matter how many times he tried to cram it into Reycho’s skull that he cared about him more than anything.
“I can teach you how I did it,” Pochi started after a few moments of silence. “How I got used to the world, I mean. It was a while ago, and sure, I still have some troubles, but I think I could help. At least a little.”
“I'd like that…” Reycho whispered. Once again, his face morphed from the small flicker of happiness it had held back into that sad face that was so uncharacteristic for Reycho’s optimistic personality. “I-” He stopped talking. Pochi could tell he was having trouble getting words out. He was already proud of Reycho for even managing to talk this much, so he was willing to wait to hear his soft voice again, however long it may take him.
“The most confusing things… Pochi, I don't like these emotions.” Reycho choked out his words, his struggle to talk becoming apparent in the way his voice shook and wavered. Pochi had a feeling that if Reycho had been capable of crying, tears would be running down his cheeks as he spoke. “They're so unpredictable… One second I can be having fun playing baseball with the others… I can be having the best time of my life! The next I can be curled up in here like this. Is this what MAIK was trying to get rid of?” Reycho buried his face back in his knees. “Would it have been so bad to let it happen?”
Pochi was taken aback by Reycho's sudden question. Not so bad to let MAIK take their emotions? The answer to that question should have been obvious to anyone! Especially to someone like Reycho who had played such a large role in MAIK’s downfall. To even suggest something like that… that didn't seem like something the Reycho he knew would say at all. No matter how much he didn't like something, as long as it was important to his friends he would try his best to make it happen.
“Reycho… don't talk like that,” Pochi’s voice was stern and firm. “Don’t ever let yourself even think something like that ever again. We need emotions. It’s essential for who we are. You saw what happened to those people. They were so lifeless… They weren’t any different from zombies.” Pochi’s face softened. “Not only are they essential… emotions are wonderful, Reycho. They’re what allow you and me and all the others to be such close friends. Nothing in the world is worth more than that, right?”
Reycho’s face looked guilty as he took in Pochi’s words, the reality of just how wrong his words had been sinking in. “Right… Sorry… I'm still just… trying to get a sense of who I am, you know? And that’s hard… To not know who you are…” Reycho turned his body to face Pochi, desperately searching his eyes for some kind of reassurance. “Promise me you won't let me forget who I am?”
Pochi slowly reached his hand out towards Reycho’s face, gently brushing bright orange hair out of the way and cupping his cold metal cheek in his palm. He gave Reycho the softest smile he'd ever seen from the boy. He hadn’t even known Pochi was capable of making such a calming, loving expression. “Of course, Reycho.”
Reycho stared at Pochi wide-eyed. He felt his circuits starting to overheat, which was strange considering he was doing nothing but sitting still. If he’d had blood, his face surely would have been as red as a cherry.
“Pochi… I don't understand this feeling.”
“What feeling?” Pochi asked gently.
“It's like…” Reycho tilted his head like he always does when he's thinking, accidently leaning further into the touch of Pochi's palm. “My gears are turning faster than they should… and my head feels lighter. It's almost like I'm floating. Not really in a bad way, I guess, but not in a good way either. I… It feels like there's something I really want to do… but I don't know what it is. It's kind of similar to the feeling I get when I'm having fun with everyone or when I get carried away playing sports.” Reycho met Pochi’s eyes. “Do you know this feeling?”
It didn't take Pochi long to figure out what Reycho was feeling, his face softening as the realization hit him. He gently nodded his head. “Yeah… I know it.”
Reycho gasped. “What is it?”
Pochi couldn’t help but let a small, giddy laugh leave his lips. He brought his hands away from Reycho's face and held them where his heart would be if he had been human. “You'll learn one day, Reycho. I think it's a feeling best discovered yourself.”
Reycho wanted to push further, to beg for him to at least give him a hint, but he knew Pochi was right. Reycho had always wanted to be human. Well, as close to human as a robot like him could be. Humans learned things through failures and experiences rather than rapidly gaining information. He would have to get used to it one day.
As they sat there in silence, Reycho realized that he missed the feeling of Pochi's hand on his cheek. The ghost of his fingers still cradled it, mocking him silently with the reminder of something that was no longer there. The feeling he recognized now was very similar to his feelings from before, but it lacked the excited aspect that was present when Pochi had been so close. Now, it felt more sad and longing, like something was just out of his reach yet he couldn't seem to obtain it.
Pochi soon felt the clang of hard metal against his hand. A glance downward revealed a pale, shaky hand intertwining its fingers with his own. His shoulders went stiff, staring wordlessly at the new contact, before shooting Reycho a questioning look.
“It just… felt right,” Reycho stated, his voice barely above a whisper.
Pochi seemingly lost himself in his mind for a few more moments before Reycho felt the grip on his hand tightening. Pochi smiled at him again in that mind-blowingly soft and tender way. It sent that feeling rushing through him again, just as intense as it’d been the first time.
Pochi closed his eyes, letting a look of peace and happiness come over his face. Slowly, he leaned to rest his head against Reycho’s shoulder, shifting a bit until he was comfortable.
“Then maybe you're already learning.”