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Billy and Danny slipped away right after another arduous and boring Justice League meeting, telling the others that they had very important magic ghost business to attend to. They’d been getting into a comfortable routine and loved to play videogames in the room assigned to Captain Marvel whenever they had free time. Billy had rolled his eyes with a laugh the first time they played Mario Kart together, because of course Danny would pick King Boo.
He was grateful whenever they hung out together, when they were able to simply appreciate one another's company, because sometimes, it let him pretend that he was just some kid who could just… be a kid. That he didn’t need to worry about working at the radio station or if he was gonna make the next rent deposit. That he didn’t have to bear the responsibility of the ‘mightiest mortal alive’ just because Shazam thought that it would be a good idea to pass his legacy onto a twelve-year-old kid.
Whatever. His life was pretty good now, all things considered. He’d been homeless once upon a time, after all. Just a kid who didn’t know if he'd be safe, shivering in the chilling winters of Fawcett City in some random alley, hoping that no one would find him and beat him up for the non-existent amount of money he owned. Now, it was different. He had the power to make a difference. He was able to help people as Captain Marvel.
And with Danny, he had finally gained a friend who knew his secret identity. A friend, period. One that could relate to the ups and downs of being a teenage superhero trying to blend into a room full of adults, even if Danny wasn’t officially part of the Justice League. He hadn't had one in a long time.
The dramatic gasp coming from his left almost made him jump. The blue shell he'd thrown had finally caught up to Danny. “Billy! Why?” he cried.
Billy smirked with amusement, keeping his focus on the TV hooked up to the small Nintendo Switch. “You know, considering you’re sixteen now, you’re a pretty bad driver.”
“Oh, shush. Driving in real life is so much more different.”
“Yeah,” Billy drawled. “Sure. Let’s say that.”
“Oh, come on, Billy,” Danny clutched the blue controller to his chest like pearls, leaning back against the gray couch. “You wound me!”
“Better keep your eyes on the screen. I just passed you.”
“Nope!” Danny suddenly took a shortcut that put him in the lead again.
There was one thing that annoyed him about his early childhood. It wasn’t exactly a big deal. It was pretty small, actually. But since he didn’t exactly always have the money for living necessities, there was no chance of him ever playing a video game back then. Even now, he always hesitated spending money on games because they just…weren’t necessary. Sure, a game like Lethal Company or Minecraft wasn’t such a big deal, but it would be hard to catch him spending seventy-something dollars on one game, and that wasn’t even mentioning the console.
Evidently, Danny only won most of the time because Billy had never touched video games before meeting him. Even the game they were playing then was brought by Danny, using his ghost storage; it was what Danny chose to call becoming intangible and putting stuff in his chest. Thankfully, Danny didn’t seem to mind being the main game provider, excited at the prospect of a new gaming buddy, and said that he had a bunch of games and that he might as well share them. Billy was thankful for it.
Even though he found himself jealous of Danny's familiarity with games sometimes, Billy discovered he didn’t mind his inexperience in gaming as much as he thought he would.
Danny pumped his fist in the air as he passed the finish line. “Yes! Looks like I win. Again.” He put up his fingers as he counted for show. “That’s ten wins to three.” He grinned, an obvious challenge.
“I want a rematch!” Billy instinctively pushed up his sleeves on each arm, face transfixed on the screen. He was about to get serious.
“Fine, but you’re just gonna lose-!”
Billy stared at the screen, controller in hand, waiting for Danny to start the game. After a moment, Billy turned to his left to see what was taking so long.
Danny was just sitting there frozen. His mouth was slightly parted and looking at...his arms? Huh? Billy followed his gaze, staring right at—his scars-!
Billy’s eyes widened, grabbing his sleeves and yanking them down, but it was already too late. Danny had already seen the dark orange branches that crawled down his arm. He felt like a deer caught in the headlights, but why?
Why was Billy so nervous? Maybe Danny didn't recognize what they were! They could just be some cool tattoo or whatever. Wait, he guessed that's not legal. Well, even if they weren't, superheroes got scars all the time! Yeah, maybe most of them weren’t twelve-year-old kids, but potato po-tah-to. He was fourteen now. Danny was even a teen superhero himself!
Billy couldn't help but freeze, heartbeat pounding in his ears.
“Billy…”
Danny already knew his civilian identity, so it’s not like he just exposed his secret identity. He still couldn't help but clench his fist around the soft fabric of his red hoodie sleeve.
It occurred to him then that he never trusted anyone else enough to reveal his secret and his scars. Of course, Batman didn’t count. He was just stupidly snoopy. The man made everything his business.
“It’s-It's nothing.” Billy sighed. “They're just scars.”
Danny’s voice was only a whisper now. “But I…” He paused the game, music faintly playing in the background. It might as well not have been there, with all his attention on the boy on his left who had abandoned his relaxed laid-back posture in favor of leaning towards him, based on the dip in the couch. “Aren't those Lichtenberg scars?”
Billy couldn’t help turning his head, surprised that he knew the name for them. He wished he didn’t. That meant Danny knew exactly what they were, and he tried to hide his expression of...he didn't know what. Shock? Horror? Embarrassment? “It’s fine. I got them a long time ago. You don't need to worry about it.”
“Huh? Billy, a long time ago? You're, like, fourteen!” he exclaimed, gesturing his hands in the air.
Billy scoffed. “Yeah, and you're sixteen. Welcome to the life of a child superhero.”
“What? Did a villain do this to you? Who? Aren't these supposed to be temporary?”
Billy sighed again. “No. It was when I got my powers. And it's weird magic stuff, I dunno.” He shrugged and swallowed around the lump in his throat.
The other boy’s eyes widened, constantly switching his gaze between him and his uncovered arms, pink-red fractals on display. “I–I know you transform with a lightning strike, but does it, like, every time…?” Danny winced, his voice growing more and more hesitant. “What I’m trying to say is…does it hurt? You don’t have to answer that.”
Billy furrowed his brows in confusion for a moment before he understood. “No, no! Just the first time." Wow, he didn't think he'd ever say that he was zapped like a bug just once. When he transformed, it was like the lightning didn't actually hit him. It just went around him. When he just started out, he squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't have to see it. "When a magic wizard in a cave electrocuted me to give me powers.” He couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I guess that's not that great either, is it?”
Danny’s eyebrows shot up. Billy’s shoulders were suddenly held in firm grasps. He did all he could not to flinch. “I–what–no! He electrocuted you? On purpose?”
Grimacing, he justified Shazam’s actions, trying not to remember what the burn of the cool floor felt like on his aching flesh. He looked away from the piercing gaze. “It was his only option. He was about to die. There was no other choice. It was either me or the bad guys getting all his power. You’ve seen what Captain Marvel can do.”
"He couldn't have chosen anyone else? Not that you're a bad Captain Marvel, but..."
"There wasn't time."
“I guess. Still, these marks…”
“They don’t really bother me anymore," he replied automatically. "It’s kind of just become part of me, you know?” He paused. "Well, I guess not, but..."
“Actually, it's funny you should say that…”
“What do you…?”
Danny hiked up the short sleeve of his red and white shirt to reveal his shoulder. Billy gasped. Familiar branches stared back at him. He trailed his eyes over the intricate lines. Danny turned his gaze from his arm to look up at Billy, understanding on his face.
“They’re like mine,” Billy whispered. A murmur passed Billy's lips before he could even think about it. “Was it how you di-” Danny froze. So did Billy. “Sorry, I–”
“I got my powers when I stumbled into my parents' ghost portal. It was a dare, for fun.”
“Danny, you don't have to tell me just because I told you how I got mine.”
“No, I don’t. But I want to.”
Billy frowned, considering.
Danny smiled at him. "Really, I don't mind."
"...Okay." Billy softly nodded his head, encouraging Danny to continue.
Danny swallowed. “Um, they-my parents-told me the portal wasn't working. My friends thought it would be cool to check it out. Dared me to go inside. So…I went. There was a button. A combination of chaotic blueprints and misplaced materials.” Danny donned a wry grin. “It turned on with me still inside. Got zapped by I-don’t-know-how-many-volts plus the ectoplasm of an entire ghost dimension. Kind of killed me. Kind of revived me too, I think. I woke up as Phantom.”
Billy's heart clenched as he listened. He woke up alone that day, the way his skin burned-! That was the first time he'd lost all control of his body as it spasmed and dropped to the rough stone floor far from where he'd been first hit. It was quick. Too quick. Not quick enough.
Danny looked at the abandoned snacks piled on the floor by the couch. “It hurt. A lot. I didn't tell my friend that, though. She already carries enough guilt as it is. I don't blame her, though.”
“The one who dared you?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
They sat in silence for a while. The console had activated its timed sleep already, leaving the two boys in the dim lighting of the room, only a small lamp in the wall kept them from being left in the dark. The faint humming of the station felt loud once the upbeat music had gone away.
“It hurt for me too,” Billy muttered, so quietly that Danny probably wouldn’t have heard it without his enhanced hearing. That was kind of a dumb thing to say. Of course it hurt. It was electrocution. Thinking too much about that day made Billy's body ache. He could feel the spark of phantom pains that once lit his arm on fire. His mouth felt dry. “It doesn't anymore, though. Not really.”
If he went through that ever again, it would be too soon. He'd been so scared to even think of the name he had been told to say while holding that staff, but when he saw a kid that was falling out of a condominium window, all he could think about was the power the wizard told him he held inside of him then. The lightning struck once again, heart dropping in his chest before he realized he was fine. More than fine. He felt powerful.
It was so much easier to think about saving the little girl than feel numb in more ways than one. When he changed back, his knees buckled under him. He cried, but there was no one to listen in the dingy alleyway he hid in. He remembered being relieved about it.
He tried to adjust his leg. Why was it so hard to move? Why couldn't he feel it? No-no, he shouldn’t overreact. His leg was just asleep on the couch. He was just being dumb again. He clenched his fists and grit his teeth. Why couldn’t Billy Batson have the courage of Achilles too?
“Heh, teenage superheroes. I swear, we have the weirdest lives ever. Kinda wish we could have normal lives too. It would be just great if we didn't half-die every other day.”
Billy tried to chuckle along, but it sounded more like a sob. His heart sank in horror.
Danny, who had glanced at the black TV screen, turned back to look at Billy in concern. “Billy? Are you okay?”
“Sorry, I don't know why-” His voice cracked. Billy rubbed his eyes, determined to ignore how they stung and how his hands came away slightly damp. “This is stupid.” He didn't want to make Danny worried.
“It’s not stupid. What's wrong?”
“I don’t know. It’s just…I’ve never told anyone before. I mean, in the end, it–it’s not a bad thing, It's a good thing. It means I can save people, make their lives better. I couldn’t have saved all those people if I was just a normal kid-" He meant to stop there. "-but it's all coming back to me now and-!”
Fawcett streets were safer than ever once Captain Marvel showed up. He made sure to intimidate any suspicious looking individuals, stopped a few crimes here and there, and looked after kids on the street who had nowhere to go. When he saw children huddling together for warmth, his heart ached in solidarity.
Captain Marvel was actually one of the reasons why he wasn’t exactly homeless anymore. He’d found evidence of a criminal, but Mr. Morris, his current boss, had refused to believe him, no matter what he said. He’d been able to leave his office with a pity deal that day: if the criminal was caught, he'd have a job at WHIZ Radio. Mr. Morris honored the deal, but the guy would’ve never been taken in if not for Captain Marvel.
His life had done nothing but improve since he got his powers. So why–?
Billy's voice trembled. “I don't…It represents something good, so why can't I stop-?” He wiped away the tears on his cheeks, but more and more streamed down. He kept rubbing at his eyes as a few sobs forced their way out of his mouth despite his desperate attempts to keep them in. He shut himself up with his hand. Why was he so pathetic? Why was Billy Batson so pathetic?
The blurry figure in front of him leaned closer, arms outstretched as if trying to hug him but unsure if Billy would even want one.
Billy dived in, clutching at the back of Danny's shirt like a life vest keeping him afloat. Despite every string of his being pulled taut a few seconds ago, he melted into the hug. It felt like sunshine. It felt like eating chocolate. It felt like a warm greeting. When was the last time he got a hug? Oh…his parents…
“I don’t…I dunno why–” He was starting to get Danny’s shirt wet. It was probably pretty gross to be bawling all over him. He knew he was babbling nonsense at this point. It was getting more and more difficult to even care.
Danny rubbed circles into Billy's back. “It’s okay, Billy.”
“I-” Billy's throat caught on his sobs, trying to get himself under control. He barreled through what he wanted to say. “I didn't choose to be the ‘World’s Mightiest Mortal-!’ I can't–hic–I can't even control my emotions right!” Billy squeezed harder. He paused, gasping for air more than he was trying to organize his thoughts. “I didn't wanna be struck by lightning! I didn't wanna fight Black Adam! How can I protect the world? I can barely protect myself! I can't do anything without my powers–!” He strained to get the last part out before his voice quieted in defeat. “I–I’m just a kid and…the world won’t even let me be one.”
Danny squeezed back. Was this how a weighted blanket felt like? It was nice. “The world sucks sometimes.”
Somehow, that got a laugh out of Billy amidst the hiccups and gasps for air. “You can say that again.” He clamped his mouth shut again to stop his sobs from coming out. It wasn’t really working.
A chin rested on his head. “No one can do anything about the fact that you got hurt. Or the fact that you had to fight your nemesis. But you said you’re supposed to protect the world. You know you don’t have to do that alone, right? You know Superman, Wonder Woman, heck, even Batman! And that's not even counting the entire Justice League. If you're ever in trouble, they'll fight with and for you in an instant.”
“What about you?” He should’ve already known the answer…but something in him just had to ask.
The hand running through Billy's hair paused for a moment. “Yep–I’d be bummed if the world I lived in was destroyed somehow.” He let out a light chuckle before his voice grew resolute. “But always. If you need me, I’m there. I know you’d do the same for any one of us. Just know it goes both ways. You said that you’re useless without your powers? Well, you’re still the one who chooses to use those powers everyday. You’re still the one who chooses to help people with them, rather than become some snobby fruit loop that wants to take over the world.”
“Yeah, but the Courage of Achilles…”
Danny slightly pulled him away by his shoulders. Billy looked up at him in confusion. “Do you have the Courage of Achilles right now?” he asked.
Billy shook his head.
“Do you have the Courage of Achilles right before you transform?”
“…No.”
Arms wrapped around him again, pulling Billy close. “Then that’s all you. Billy Batson is the one deciding to save people even if he risks his life to do it. Even if we’re not talking about Captain Marvel, you yourself told me about how you somehow talked your way into a job at WHIZ so that you could support yourself and save more lives at the same time! That wasn’t some godly power you called upon.”
“I guess…but I still needed Captain Marvel’s power.”
“Okay, but would you ever pass up the opportunity to save someone?”
He shook his head again. “No.”
“So it makes sense that you would use your power to its full potential. It doesn’t have to be a separate part of you. If the power was given to anybody else, I don’t even know if they would be able to help as many people as you do now, or if they would even try! You said it yourself, right? The wizard, even if I might not like that he hurt you like that, gave you the power so it wouldn’t fall into the wrong hands. He knew that Billy Batson would do good. And he was right. But still…no one’s expecting you to be perfect.”
“But–”
“No one can. I know you’re gonna say something like you have to be, but you said it yourself. You're a kid. So am I. That's what I realized when I asked the Justice League for help. Sure, I could’ve dealt with stuff on my own and figured it out eventually…but it would’ve sucked. A lot. …I thought my life would be over if my parents ever found out I was half-dead. I told you they're ghost hunters, right?”
Billy hummed in confirmation.
“Well, I thought they'd dissect me and take me apart atom by atom according to the threats they constantly barked at Phantom. However, when they slowly started to warm up to Phantom, I ended up telling them who I was. They took it well, and they even help me get away from the GIW now.
“And, even before that, I had friends who would cover for me in class. They'd help me slip away to fight ghosts, and it was just great to be able to rant to someone about how annoying being Phantom was. Honestly, if you wanna do that with me, I’d be fine with it. Sometimes you just need someone to rant to.”
Billy laughed tiredly and looked up at him. Danny grinned down at him. “Seriously! It helps lower stress or something!”
“Alright, I’ll think about it.”
“Anyways, sometimes I wi– think that it would be nice if I didn't have to be the Ki–responsible for a bunch of stuff. Or if I didn’t have to be the one to subdue all the ghosts in Amity Park while trying to keep my grades up. Or, even that I had to get electrocuted to half-death. But,” Danny paused, “if I could turn back time or even make a wish, I wouldn't change a thing.”
“Why not?”
“Because of everything I'd be missing out on otherwise.”
Danny leaned back but didn’t pull away from Billy, still holding onto his back. With one hand, he rummaged through his jeans’ pockets for his phone before finding it and showing Billy a picture of Danny with a black-haired blue-eyed girl who seemed around the age of ten. They looked pretty similar. If she weren’t a girl, he might even say…identical.
“Look, this is Dani. She's my sister. I wouldn't have ever gotten to know her if this evil ghost dude–more annoying now more than anything, though,” he muttered, “–wasn't crazy enough to clone me and try to get her to capture me. Not to mention my redeemed evil future self that’s now occupying one of the other clone bodies.”
“Really?” Billy could only laugh at the absurdity of it. His throat was sore from crying, but the tear tracks had already started drying. His heart felt light, lifted from a weight he didn’t know he was carrying. He cleared his throat. “If I had a nickel for every person I knew who got cloned by an evil guy…”
Danny's eyes widened. “What? Who?”
“You know Superman and Connor?”
“Wait, Connor? His son?”
“Yep. That's the one. Though, Superman refused to talk to Connor and stuff at first. He thought it was really weird to get cloned without even knowing."
Danny stiffened for a split second. “Really?" Billy understood the apprehension. It was kind of mean to leave your clone son hanging like that. They were lucky he didn't run away to Lex Luthor again, honestly. "…Anyways, you probably get the gist of what I’m saying. If not for becoming Phantom, I wouldn't have even met most of my friends, and I haven’t even mentioned any ghosts yet! Like, I know people in the Justice League now! That’s crazy! And it somehow led to me becoming friends with you.” The hand still wrapped around Billy and rubbing circles into his back clung a little tighter. So did he.
He smiled against the shoulder he was pressed up against. “So, you’re trying to say that life sucks, but not all of it.”
“I–” Billy felt the body against him breathe in deeply. Resigned, Danny answered with a huff that was halfway to a laugh. “Yeah. Pretty much." Billy waited for him to continue. "I dunno if this is even helping. I’m not great at helping people with their emotions like Jazz is.”
He pulled out one of his arms from behind Danny, making a fist and holding it in front of his mouth. “Breaking news, live from Billy Batson: Danny Fenton is not seeking a job as a therapist.”
Danny did laugh this time. Billy joined in. “Way to rub it in."
"Earlier, um, sorry for trauma dumping-"
"No. Don't apologize. When I said I didn't mind, I really don't mind. But, um, I don't know how you took the whole...electrocution thing, or all the other stuff, and I'm not asking you to tell me or anything like that, but I know that kind of left an impact on me. A bad one. It took me a while to somewhat get over it, and I basically had my sister as a therapist full-time once she figured out who I was.” He scratched the back of his neck. "Um, basically what I'm saying is that if you want, you can come to me to just...talk. Or I can ask my sister-um, that might be weird, actually, it's just that she has experience with me-or you could find someone else. Maybe an actual therapist. If you want. It's just a good idea to talk to someone about it. Empty the shaken-up fizz out of the soda can before it spills over. Does that make sense? I keep rambling and I-"
"Yeah, I get what you mean," Billy admitted. "I wouldn't really know how to explain it, but I think whatever this was helped."
The body hugging him shifted. "I-I'm glad."
“Thanks,” Billy muttered fondly. “I’m glad I met you too, you know. It’s a lot less lonely with you around.”
Even if he had a few friends among the Justice League, Billy never really felt like anyone really knew him. They saw the bright and cheery Captain Marvel and nothing else, leaving the others to wonder why he always declined any offers to have a drink or avoided the topic of literally anything personal. The answer was simple. He couldn’t let anyone see the guarded and scarred Billy Batson. He didn’t want them to see. He couldn’t. It was too dangerous. It would change how they saw him forever. He didn't think that he could take the looks of pity. Would they assume he was a kid who couldn't take care of himself? Tell that to the past fourteen years of his life.
It didn’t help that there was a small part of him that wished that he wasn’t so scared. Wished that he didn’t sometimes feel so broken, even when he tried to tape together the pieces with optimism and willpower. Sometimes he wondered if he would’ve become a Green Lantern if he hadn’t received the powers of Shazam.
But…he didn’t have to go through it alone. He didn’t have to pretend that he was okay, didn't have to keep up his guarded walls around Danny. He could explain why and bare his feelings without being scared of the consequences. He could ask for comfort and understanding and feel better afterwards. Maybe it would someday extend to the rest of the team. Maybe he could truly be friends with them then. That would be nice.
He wasn’t just the scrawny kid that was forced to grow up too much, or the superhero with an unimaginable amount of power. He was Billy Batson. The sum of his parts. That was what they would see. The one who had been working with them to save the world countless times. The one who made a living for himself with the resources he had. A singular entity.
Maybe he could tell them all one day without the terror that gripped him at the idea. But right now, he wanted to sink into the warmth he hadn’t felt in a long time. His eyes slipped shut. The heartbeat next to his ear thumped in a comforting rhythm.
“...‘m tired,” he mumbled.
“Want me to stay? I don’t have anything to do later, I think.”
“If you wanna.”
“Okay.” He felt a hand carding through his hair. “Sleep tight, Billy.”
Only humming in response, he fell asleep, exhausted. He dreamed, realizing that for the first time in a while, it wasn’t a nightmare, bounding up to his parents and hugging them as tight as he could.