Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

3:04 A. M.

L’il_Bat: v you will not believe what happened while I was at tc 

VwV: What? Also, fix my name, it’s so stupid

L’il_Bat: later
L’il_Bat: okay so i came home from tc to find the whole house smelling like bacon
L’il_Bat: remember how i once said that i found n and cyn collecting bacon grease in a jar for months

VwV: Maybe

L’il_Bat: I CAME BACK FROM TC TO FIND THAT THEY MADE BACO CANDLES
L’il_Bat: FEICKIN BACOM CAMDLRS V
L’il_Bat: THE QHOLE HOUSE SNLLED LOKE BACON
L’il_Bat: N CANE OIT AND SAID THAT I CAMT SNEKL HIS SHIR BC HE MASE BACOM CANDLWS
L’il_Bat: the smell hasnt gone away
L’il_Bat: its been a week and the house still smells like bacon
L’il_Bat: dad said the outside air SMELLS FUNNY 
L’il_Bat: BC OF FHE FYCKIN ABSENCE OF BACON

VwV: Damn, that sucks
VwV: Or I’m happy for you
VwV: Either way, lol

L’il_Bat: really v? really? bite me

Chapter Text

3:20 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: *claps hands* I just had a fun idea. 

CaptainBiscuit: Oooooh, what??

Cynnamoroll: Tessa bought an energy drink and some sour gummy strips. *tilts head, smiles* I’m going to eat combine them to make what I’m calling Battery Acid Spaghetti. 
Cynnamoroll: I’ll tell you how it tastes. 

Asset: Plz dont. 
Asset: I need em for studying. 

Cynnamoroll: I’ll buy you more, Tessie. Don’t worry. 

3:25 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Did you do it yet, C??

3:30 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: cyn 
L’il_Bat: hello

4:00 P. M. 

VwV: Yeah, she’s dead
VwV: RIP Cyn

4:45 P. M. 

TBCooper: Cyn? You good?

11:20 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: Dint do this. 

11:12 A. M. 

TBCooper: I added those sour strips to the energy drink. I’m gonna drink it. 
TBCooper: Time to taste. 

11:13 A. M.

Lizbean: God ur so stupid

Dolly: Thad, why?

Cynnamoroll. *sighs* I told you to not do it. 

11:24 A. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: How does it taste, man?

3:47 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: aaaaannnndddd thads dead
L’il_Bat: what a surprise 

Asset: Cyn, look at what you did

Cynnamoroll: *offended sounds* I told him to not drink it. 

1:57 A. M. 

TBCooper: Ig formed a dry skin at the top with bubbles
TBCooper: I popped a bubble with my fork
TBCooper: It didn’t pop
TBCooper: It just say there

L’il_Bat: menacingly

TBCooper: Don’t do this

6:35 A. M. 

Asset: I’m gonna try jt. 

5:23 P. M. 

Asset: Dint do this plz 

Lizbean: Don’t tell me wut 2 do 

8:10 P. M. 

Lizbean: Don’t do this plz
Lizbean: I thought I was gonna like explode

L’il_Bat: bite me im gonna do it

Dolly: Add vodka. 

Lizbean: Do not
Lizbean: It tastes horrible 

L’il_Bat: whatever

6:29 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: they werent lying chat
L’il_Bat: im gonnabe suck again

VwV: That’s what you get for giving me this stupid nickname

CaptainBiscuit: You good, Uzi?

L’il_Bat: stop asking
L’il_Bat: please

Cynnamoroll: *giggle*  

L’il_Bat: yourew lucky i cant really move rn

Cynnamoroll: *smiles innocently* Oh, I know. 

VwV: I hope you all learned to never trust Cyn when she makes food
VwV: ‘Tis a lesson I didn’t think y’all needed, but you sure love to prove me wrong
VwV: That being said, it can’t be that bad

7:59 P. M. 

VwV: OK, so yeah, don’t to this

Chapter Text

12:04 A. M. 

Asset: Is anyone still up? I’m bored. 

Cynnamoroll: *nods* I am

Asset:
Asset: Good enough, I guess. 

Cynnamoroll: *taps fingers* What do you want to talk about?

Asset: I dunno
Asset: Anything

(Admin has changed one name)

MichaelaAfton: Seen anything good lately?
MichaelaAfton: CYN REALLY
MichaelaAfton: YOURE SO LUCKY I BROKE MY LEG 

Cynnamoroll: YOU WHAT
Cynnamoroll: TESSA
Cynnamoroll: WHAT
Cynnamoroll: WHEN
Cynnamoroll: HOW

MichaelaAfton: I was dancing and BROKE MY LEG
MichaelaAfton: I FELL OFF A BRUDGE AND BEOKE MY LEG

Cynnamoroll: QUE
Cynnamoroll: QUE THE FRICK TESSIE

MichaelaAfton: Yeah, that was last week. 

Cynnamoroll: Are you ok? Do you need me to buy candy for you or something?

MichaelaAfton: Nah, J and N have been over all week. I’m surprised N didn’t tell you. 

Cynnamoroll: I was at the theater camp when this happened. After the Battery Acid incident. 

MichaelaAfton: Ah. 
MichaelaAfton: Makes sense. 

Cynnamoroll: *hugs you* Get better soon, Tessie. 

MichaelaAfton: *hugs back* Thanks, C. 

Cynnamoroll: I still can’t believe you broke your leg. That’s literally so stupid. 

MichaelaAfton: You’re tellin me. Mother was furious. 

Cynnamoroll: *sticks tongue out* Bleh. 

MichaelaAfton: *nods* Bleh. 

Chapter Text

1:05 P. M. 

(Admin has changed one name)

Kurovi: We gather here today, lads, to discuss something important: my horror collection. 
Kurovi: Thank you, gremlin, for finally changing my name. 

L’il_Bat: n made me

CaptainBiscuit: I made her.

Kurovi: Anyways
Kurovi: Who took it? It’s gone. 

Lizbean: Not me

TBCooper: Nope. 

J: As if. 

MichaelaAfton: Uzi, please change my name back. Cyn did this. 

(Admin has changed one name)

Aussie: Thank you. 
Aussie: REALLY

(Admin has changed one name)

Asset: Thank you. At least someone respects me…..

J:
J: TESSA, I AM RIGHT HERE!

CaptainBiscuit: I can hear her mad cackling from the living room. 

Cynnamoroll: *giggle* 

CaptainBiscuit: *gives headpats*

L’il_Bat: oh god theres two of them

Kurovi: Focus
Kurovi: Who stole my movies

L’il_Bat: eh theyre probably long gone by now

Kurovi: What do you know, you tiny nuisance? Hmm?

TBCooper: Whoa, chill, V. 

Kurovi: I had valuable moves in there, and they were here until the last marathon. 
Kurovi: Who took them?

Lizbean: “Valuble,” as if, bitch. 
Lizbean: U had friggin Heathers in there
Lizbean: Thatd not valuable, it’s like total shit

J: Language. Cyn’s here. Still. For some reason.

Cynnamoroll: 😛 

Kurovi: I never told anyone I got Heathers

Dolly: котёнок?

TBCooper: Lizzy?

L’il_Bat: uh oh

CaptainBiscuit: RIP Lizzy. 

Asset: Oh, Lordy, this is getting good

Lizbean: Shit

TBCooper: SHE JUST RANIIT OF THE HOUSE

Dolly: GO GO GO

Cynnamoroll: F. 

L’il_Bat: i’ve never seen v run that fast
L’il_Bat: i almost hope she catches up

Cynnamoroll: *giggle* She is so dead. 

CaptainBiscuit: Suddenly, I remember why she does track. 

TBCooper: I’m gonna call her and see if I can write down whatever’s said. For science.

Cynnamoroll: Please do. 

Asset: Please. 

J: Why not?

Dolly: Seriously?

TBCooper: Yes. 

11:51 P. M. 

Lizbean: I lived, bitches. 

Kurovi: Not for much longer

Chapter Text

12:08 A. M. 

TBCooper: Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I had to kill one, it would be very easy. 
TBCooper: I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them, and they’d be compelled to approach. 

[TBCooper has sent a picture]

Lizbean: Wut is going on here

Dolly: Let him text

TBCooper: They’d hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. 
TBCooper: They’d be very confident in their superior strength due to hauling rocks around. 

Cynnamoroll: *taking notes*

TBCooper: “That’s very cool,” they’d say, “but as it volcanic glass, it’d be very fragile.”

L’il_Bat: why do you wanna kill a geo dude

Kurovi: He said this is theatrical, idiot

L’il_Bat: you suck

TBCooper: THEN ID HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH A WOODEN BASEBALL BAG BECAUSE THEY CAN ONKY SEE ROCKS AND MINERALS

Cynnamoroll: *curious* I didn’t know it was that easy 

Asset: Cyn, please don’t kill a geologist 

Cynnamoroll: Don’t worry, Tessie, I won’t 

[TBCooper has sent a picture]

CaptainBiscuit: What’s going on, guys?
CaptainBiscuit: Ooh, that’s a cool knife
CaptainBiscuit: The thing is, it wouldn’t be effective as a weapon because it’s too fragile. 
CaptainBiscuit: Cyn, why are you laughing so hard?

Kurovi: I can’t believe my own boyfriend would fall prey to this

TBCooper: I can’t believe it worked 

Lizbean: N read the texts

CaptainBiscuit: K
CaptainBiscuit: I think Cyn just fell off her bed
CaptainBiscuit: She hasn’t stopped laughing
Captain: THAD WHY

TBCooper: I’m coming for you sooner or later

Chapter Text

5:00 P. M.

Unknown: Hey
Unknown: This is Louise’s number, right?

Me: new phone who dis

Unknown: Sorry, this is Thad
Unknown: Thad Cooper, from school, I gave you my number

Me: right

Unknown: Hang on. 

[Unknown has sent a picture]

Me: so you are thad cool
Me: everyone just calls me uzi btw
Me: not louise 

Thad: Uzi. 
Thad: That’s a badass nickname.

Me: oh bite me ew i hate that you said that

Thad: Lol. 

7:03 P. M. 

Me: who are those girls you hang out with at lunch
Me: is one your girlfriend or something 

Thad: Gross, no. 

[Thad has sent a picture]

Thad: The girl on the right is Lizzy, my older sister. The other girl is Doll, her best friend. 

Me: ah 

Thad: Yeah. 
Thad: Why’d you wanna know?

Me: i dont know a lot about you 

Thad: Let’s play a game then. I’ll go first. Do you have any siblings?

Me: nope
Me: you play sports

Thad: Football. You?

Me: ew no i kinda hate sports
Me: i get so bored and cant watch em for too long
Me: favorite subject

Thad: Math. 

Me: i like that too and science kinda

Thad: Cool
Thad: Favorite show?

Me: naruto 

Thad: No way, I love that show!
Thad: That, and Soul Eater!

Me: soul eater wow
Me: havent heard that title in a while
Me: maybe i should rewatch it sometime
Me: wanna join me
Me: maybe

Thad: Totally. 

11:29 P. M. 

Me: thanks for hanging
Me: i had fun

Thad: No prob, Zi. 

Me: we should do it again 

Thad: I’d be willing to do that.

Chapter Text

1:04 A. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Anyone awake still?

Asset: Go to bed. 

CaptainBiscuit: You’re up too!

Asset: *I’m* a bloody hypocrite, go to bed.

CaptainBiscuit: Yoi first. 

Asset: Yoi

CaptainBiscuit: How’s your leg?

Asset: Hurts like hell
Asset: Wish it didn’t, but eh
Asset: It’s what I get for dancing on a bridge

CaptainBiscuit: Why’d you do that anyway?

Asset: I was bored 

CaptainBiscuit: Got it. 
CaptainBiscuit: If you stay up, we might as well do a Discord stream. 

Asset: Maybe

CaptainBiscuit: I know it’s late and sudden and all, but I need to talk to someone about this. 

Asset: What is it?

CaptainBiscuit: Cyn’s been a bit weird lately 
CaptainBiscuit: She rarely talks anymore
CaptainBiscuit: Eveb to me 
CaptainBiscuit: She hasn’t said if anything’s wrong
CaptainBiscuit: She just won’t talk

Asset: I’m sorry, N
Asset: Tgat must suck
Asset: Want me to talk fo her?

CaptainBiscuit: No
CaptainBiscuit: I don’t wanna push her
CaptainBiscuit: After last time it’s best we don’t do that

Asset: Last time?

CaptainBiscuit: It was really bad
CaptainBiscuit: I’m just worried for her
CaptainBiscuit: I don’t know what fo do Tess
CaptainBiscuit: She already had to be taken out of school and homeschooled 
CaptainBiscuit: I don’t wanna worry our parents or anything but still

Asset: Give her space
Asset: She’ll find a way to come to come to you, I just know it. 

CaptainBiscuit: Thanks, Tess. 

Asset: You’re welcome, buddy. 
Asset: Now, go to bed. 
Asset: I’ll go to bed too. 

Chapter Text

5:38 P. M.

[Kurovi has sent a picture]

Cynnamoroll: *confused* Where are you?

Asset: Nice edit. 

Kurovi: I hate these fuckin monoliths ’cause they always drive 10MPH below the speed limit, and if I try to go ahead, it just warps me behind it again

J: Language. 

(Admin has changed one name)

Kill-Jay: Oh, joy, who was it now?
Kill-Jay: UZI!

L’il_Bat: hehehehehehe

Kurovi: I mean, just this last time, it banished me to the shadow realm
Kurovi: I was left wandering the ancient worlds and what could have been and what never was

CaptainBiscuit: That sucks, V. 

Kurovi: Half-burnt stars dotted the skies, barely giving me enough light to find my way as I drove for thousands of eternities
Kurovi: By the time I got out, I missed my fucking track meet 

Cynnamoroll: L

L’il_Bat: f

Chapter Text

3:00 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: has anyone seen v
L’il_Bat: she’s supposed to be streaming with me and she hasn’t responded to me for over an hour

Lizbean: Nope

Dolly: No

TBCooper: Sorry, Zi

CaptainBiscuit: Uh, she posted something on her community page. I’ll copy it. 

L’il_Bat: you could just send the pic

Cynnamoroll: Bro…..

CaptainBiscuit: “”I wonder where SD-V went.” You buffoon. Serial Designation V is currently living on an active construction site. The walls are being painted, and the carpet comes out next week. I’m sleeping on a mattress, using a stepladder as a bedside table. I’m also burning to death.”

Cynnamoroll: Bro, you could have just sent a screenshot 

Captain: Oh, yeah, I could have. 

Dolly: Dude

L’il_Bat: n

TBCooper: Bro

Lizbean: I-

Asset: DUDE

Kill-Jay: Idiot

L’il_Bat: my guy
L’il_Bat: WHAT

CaptainBiscuit: Sorry!

9:42 P. M. 

Kill-Jay: N, Thad, how does it feel to be two guys in a friend group that consists of seven girls?

Thad: How does it feel to be seven girls in a friend group of two guys?

Lizbean: Got her!

Cynnamoroll: *cackling*

Asset: J, do you want some ice for that?

Kill-Jay: Shut up! 

L’il_Bat: lol

CaptainBiscuit: Thad, please don’t kill J. We need her for homework. 

Kill-Jay: As if!

12:09 A. M. 

Cynnamoroll: Girls, do you ever feel like *rips skin off and violently morphs body into an Eldritch horror beyond your comprehension*?

Kill-Jay: Occasionally. 

Asset: Every now and then. 

L’il_Bat: maybe once or twice

Dolly: Yep. 

Kurovi: Yeah

L’il_Bat: V

Cynnamoroll: VVVVVVVVVVVVVV
Cynnamoroll: VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Lizbean: Nice to C U again gal

Asset: Guys, she’s offline again. 

Cynnamoroll: NNNNNOOOOO!!!!

2:05 A. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: What’s it like dating Uzi?

TBCooper: Once, I asked for water when she was mad at me. 
TBCooper: She brought me a glass of ice and told me to wait
TBCooper: What about V?

CaptainBiscuit: She’s done that exact same thing. 
CaptainBiscuit: I love her, though. 

TBCooper: Sweet

9:00 A. M. 

Kill-Jay: Tessa, I’m making eggs. How do you like yours?

Asset: I make them half-cooked, so they’re gooey in the middle. 

Kill-Jay: Tessa, have you heard of salmonella?!

Asset: Kidding, kidding!

Kill-Jay: Tessa, please! 

3:33 A. M. 

Cynnamoroll: If your bones are wet, you’re alive. 
Cynnamoroll: If they’re dry, you’re dead. 

CaptainBiscuit: Go to bed. God, I am so scared of you sometimes.

Cynnamoroll: No. 
Cynnamoroll: Pray UwU <3

Chapter Text

12:00 P. M.

CaptainBiscuit: Happy Valentine’s Day!!
CaptainBiscuit: 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶🩶💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍💘💘💘💘💘💝💝💝💝💝💝💞💞💞💞💞💕💕💕💕💓💓💓💓💓💓💗💗💗💗💗💗

L’il_Bat: jesus christ n
L’il_Bat: want some hearts

CaptainBiscuit: Nope!
CaptainBiscuit: I already have the one for me!

TBCooper: Oh, yeah, are we doing anything, Zi?

L’il_Bat: i figured we could just binge some trashy romance anime
L’il_Bat: v helped me bake cookies

CaptainBiscuit: Yeah, we’re gonna hang out at her house tonight. 

Lizbean: Blehblehblehbleh!!!!!!!!!!
Lizbean: We don’t need to like hear about ur plans for 2night

Dolly: Lizzy and I are going to a spa if anyone’s wondering. 

Lizbean: Hell yeah we R

Cynnamoroll: *sprays Fabreeze* Get a room, or this place goes BOOM.

Asset: Aw, don’t be like that, Cynnie. You and I can watch some movies while everyone is busy being weird!

Kill-Jay: I’ll join. All this talk is grossing me out. 

(Admin has changed one name)

Ace-in-a-hole: Uzi, I am going to wring your neck when I see you again. 

(Admin has changed one name)

Kill-Jay: Thank you. 

Cynnamoroll: Let’s watch Saw movies!

Kill-Jay: Please, no. 

Asset: That’d be fun!
Asset: J, stop whining. 

L’il_Bat: how about you come over around three thad 

TBCooper: Sounds good, Zi

Lizbean: I’ll pick u up in a few minutes, Dolly

Cynnamoroll: *detonates pipe bomb* 💀💀

Chapter Text

Kill-Jay: N, V, we need to talk. 

CaptainBiscuit: About what?

Kill-Jay: V, I know you’re here. 
Kill-Jay: I know you’re seeing these texts. 
Kill-Jay: V, you whore. 

CaptainBiscuit: JULIET ANNABELLE HIGGINS! 

Kurovi: Yeah, what

Kill-Jay: Cyn’s not here, I can say whatever I want. 
Kill-Jay: Hello, V. 

CaptainBiscuit: APOLOGIZE!

Kurovi: Nah, it’s okay
Kurovi: It’s an inside joke, N, please trust

CaptainBiscuit: Are you sure?

Kurovi: I’ll call you after to explain, I promise

Kill-Jay: Do you really not trust V, N? Wow. 

CaptainBiscuit: I’ll send Cyn over to your house. 

Kill-Jay: Please don’t. 

Kurovi: What did you want, you horrible succubus?

Kill-Jay: The theater is performing RtC again. I figured you idiots would want to audition for it. 

Kurovi: YES YS YES YES
Kurovi: A THOUSAND TIMES YES

CaptainBisuit: Sure!

Kill-Jay: I knew it. 

CaptainBiscuit: Jane Doe?

Kurovi: Yep. Noel? Ocean?

CaptainBiscuit: If I can!

Kill-Jay: Maybe. Depends. 

CaptainBiscuit: YES!

Chapter Text

9:00 P. M. 

Unknown: Umm, hi. Is this Jax’s number? 

Me: No, this is Patrick!
Me: No, sorry, this is N. 
Me: *Nate. 
Me: Wait, Jax?

Unknown: I’m Penny. 

Me: Penny?

Unknown: Penny Doe. 

Me: Oh, Penny!
Me: Jax is my cousin. 
Me: Well, one of them. 
Me: He calls you Pomni. 
Me: A lot. 

Unknown: I know. 
Unknown: Everyone in that friend group does. 
Unknown: I don’t know why. 

Me: I can give you his number. 

Unknown: Thanks, Nate. We’re supposed to be working on a project together with another classmate, Giselle, but he gave me the wrong number. 

Me: No problem, Pomni!
Me: *Penny. 

Unknown: Thank you. 

Chapter Text

1:15 P. M. 

Me: Where are you???????
Me: The gremlin is talking my ear off about anime in the food court

BlueJay: Sorry!!!!!!!!
BlueJay: Theo got stalled by Build-A-Bear, then we went into Game Stop. 
BlueJay: He found a really cool pair of flower and butterfly headphones that we thought Cyn would like, but the line’s really long!

Me: Tari, hurry up
Me: Tari, hurry up

BlueJay: I’m trying, V!
BlueJay: Really, I am!

Me: Whatever you say, Atari

1:20 P. M. 

Me: It’d be so lame to die of boredom in a food court

BlueJay: It would. 

Me: As interesting as her anime sounds, I need you for some sanity

BlueJay: Which one is it?

Me: I think she said it’s called Shiki
Me: I dunno
Me: I’ve been playing games

BlueJay: Lol XD

1:30 P. M. 

Me: Any day now, Tartendo. 

BlueJay: We’re heading up the escalator right now!

Me: Yay

BlueJay: I see you! 
BlueJay: Hi!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

2:30 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Guess who’s going to a family reunion today??!!

Cynnamoroll: We are. 
Cynnamoroll: I want to die. 

Kurovi: Why?

Cynnamoroll: Our jerk of a cousin will be there. 

L’il_Bat: jax right 

CaptainBiscuit: Right. 

Cynnamoroll: I just want to kick him in the kneecaps. Let me do that.

Asset: Why?

CaptainBiscuit: He likes to play “pranks” on Cyn. 

Cynnamoroll: He once locked me outside during a storm.  
Cynnamoroll: The thunder and lightning made me panic. 
Cynnamoroll: He tries to make me talk. 

L’il_Bat: i hate him already 

CaptainBiscuit: Our other cousin, Rocky, should be there, too. 
CaptainBiscuit: I’m sure he’s got new stories, Cyn. 

Kurovi: Is he the one who’s obsessed with cats and theater?

CaptainBiscuit: Yep!

Kurovi: Nice. 

2:45 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Cyn, I’m in the car, and I’ve loaded your wheelchair in. 

Cynnamoroll: I’m just looking for my headphones, I’ll be down in a second. 

CaptainBiscuit: They’re on your desk. 

Cynnamoroll: Thanks!!

4:30 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: IT IS LOUD
Cynnamoroll: I DO NOT WANTTO BE HERE

Kurovi: How long do your reunions last?

CaptainBiscuit: A while. 
CaptainBiscuit: :(

L’il_Bat: hang in there cyn 

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

Lizbean: That looks…..hectic

Asset: Y’all go to a barn?

CaptainBiscuit: It’s tradition. 

L’il_Bat: barn rave nice

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

TBCooper: You good, Cyn?

Cynnamoroll: Do I look it?

TBCooper: No……..

Kurovi: Maybe go outside? 

Cynnamoroll: Fine. 

6:56 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: Rocky just told me that he once put powdered milk in regular milk. 
Cynnamoroll: We’re out drinking 2% milk, *slams hand on table* AND HES OUT HERE DRINK 115% MILK
Cynnamoroll: My head hurts, I wanna die. 

Asset: Plz don’t. 

Kill-Jay: Just think about pens or something fun. 

L’il_Bat: “think about something boring or something fun”
L’il_Bat: j your advice sucks

8:15 P. M. 

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

Asset: Nice cornfield, Cynnie. Very tall. 

CaptainBiscuit: Cyn, I got your water. Where are you?

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

Kurovi: You just got those headphones yesterday 
Kurovi: Why are they in the dirt?

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

CaptainBiscuit: Crap

L’il_Bat: N?!

Kurovi: N?

Asset: Whoa. 

Kill-Jay: Oh, no. 

Lizbean: This is getting good. 

Dolly: The hell? Who are you?

TBCooper: Hey, dude. Why do you have Cyn’s phone?
TBCooper: Hello?

11:02 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: We’re back home. 
CaptainBiscuit: I’m not going back to the next reunion. 

Kurovi: What happened?

CaptainBiscuit: Jax. 

L’il_Bat: yiur cousin

CaptainBiscuit: He thought it’d be funny to take Cyn out to the cornfield and take her phone and headphones and leave her there. 
CaptainBiscuit: It took me over an hour to get to her. 
CaptainBiscuit: I may have punched him in the face. 

Asset: Jesus. 
Asset: Is she okay?

CaptainBiscuit: She’s asleep now. 

L’il_Bat: im sorry n

Kurovi: Do you know where he lives, N?

CaptainBiscuit: Don’t bother. 
CaptainBiscuit: We’re not going to the next one. 
CaptainBiscuit: I should have listened to her and stayed home. I thought it’d be fine. It was supposed to be fun.

Chapter Text

12:00 A. M.

L’il_Bat: v  why is there a dead human in our house?

Kurovi: Umm, he was kinda intruding

L’il_Bat: but why is he dead?

Kurovi: Well, umm, okay, he broke into the house and all, and I may have walked up to him

L’il_Bat: okay

Kurovi: So I stabbed him thirty-fucking-seven times in the chest!

L’il_Bat:
L’il_Bat: WHY?!

Kurovi: I felt like it

L’il_Bat: V THERE IS A DEAD HUMAN IN PUR HOUSE NOW
L’il_Bat: where are his hands 

Kurovi: Whoa, I didn’t even know they were missing

L’il_Bat: where are they

Kurovi: W-where’s what?

L’il_Bat: his hands v where are his hands

Kurovi:
Kurovi: I may have….cooked them up…..and ate them. 

L’il_Bat: v

Kurovi: My stomach was making the rumblies

L’il_Bat: V

Kurovi: That only hands could satisfy 

Lizbean: What the fuck?

Chapter Text

8:35 P. M. 

Kurovi: I feel hi rn
Kurovi: Like everyone’s talkin to me atonce 
Kurovi: Tripy

CaptainBiscuit: I guess I’m not coming over tonight then. 

Kurovi: Nnnnnoooooooo
Kurovi: I’m not realy hi

L’il_Bat: what were your plans for tonight

CaptainBiscuit: J, get outta the chat, please. 

Kill-Jay: God, you guys are disgusting. 

Lizbean: Oh, ew
Lizbean: N
Lizbean: V

TBCooper: What?
TBCooper: Oh
TBCooper: OH
TBCooper: YOU MEAN
TBCooper: Damn, sorry, N

Kurovi: I’m not high
Kurovi: Ppllllzzzzzs
Kurovi: Nnnnnnnnnn

Asset: Wgat is going on?
Asset: *What

Cynnamoroll: Don’t ask. 

L’il_Bat: bite me good luck next time n

Kurovi: Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

CaptainBiscuit: Fine, I’ll go over and keep you company, okay?

Kurovi: 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖YYYAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!!!💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

TBCooper: Are we sure she’s not on something?

Dolly: V, how high are you?

Lizbean: V?

Cynnamoroll: Hello?

8:41 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: she may have fallen through her glass coffee table and died
L’il_Bat: though i guess that means she drank some drain cleaner 
L’il_Bat: rip viola chandler

CaptainBiscuit: Please don’t joke about that. 

L’il_Bat: bite me

Cynnamoroll: *bites her*

9:00 P. M. 

Kurovi: 5’2
Kurovi: Why

CaptainBiscuit: Yeah, we’re just gonna watch movies tonight. 

Kurovi: Bleh

L’il_Bat: where are your parents v

9:05 P. M. 

Kurovi: Weekend conven

Dolly: V, what are you on?

Lizbean: Def not drugs
Lizbean: Probably some OTC shit

TBCooper: How would you know?

Lizbean: Don’t worry about it

9:19 P. M. 

Kurovi: Not sad pills
Kurovi: Something wlse 
Kurovi: New
Kurovi: I dunnnnnnnnnooooooosnwog aofbapenaksnfiwshitqojenwirbqhqprkebriqbankqkdjqnqiwnejqow

CaptainBiscuit: Yeah, I’m gonna go check on her. 

L’il_Bat: me too

Chapter Text

10:03 A. M. 

Kurovi: My head is gonna kill me
Kurovi: I want to die
Kurovi: What the hell happened last night 

CaptainBiscuit: You fell asleep while texting. 

Kurovi: That checks out

L’il_Bat: what happened before then

Kurovi: Uhhhh…….

10:06 A. M. 

Kurovi: I took some new meds that I definitely won’t be taking again
Kurovi: This headache wasn’t worth it
Kurovi: N, you wanna come over tonight 
Kurovi: My parents won’t be back ‘til Monday

CaptainBiscuit: You’re feeling better?

Kurovi: Yeah, after I take some painkillers 

CaptainBiscuit: Sure!

Kurovi: YES!

TBCooper: Wait, did you guys just not do that on Valentine’s Day??

Kurovi: We watched a bunch of movies and baked a cake

Dolly: That’s it? Lame.

Kurovi: Yeah

CaptainBiscuit: Yep. 

Lizbean: Glad ur feeling better V

Kurovi: 👍🏻👍🏻
Kurovi: I’ll get the music set up

Kurovi: I can also order dinner or something 

CaptainBiscuit: I’ll take care of that, V. 

TBCooper: Zi, maybe the two of could, you know

L’il_Bat: not yet

TBCooper: Cool. 

Asset: Cyn, J, you wanna come over to my house tonight?

Cynnamoroll: *nods frantically* Yes, please. 

Kill-Jay: PLEASE!

CaptainBiscuit: SORRY! I forgot you two were still here!

TBCooper: Good luck, you two. 

L’il_Bat: don’t forget to use condoms 

Kurovi: OKAY UZI SHUT UP

L’il_Bat: oh no

Lizbean: Bye, loser ✋🏻

L’il_Bat: N SAVE ME

12:00 A. M. 

Kurovi: Guess what, nerds?

Chapter Text

8:56 P. M. 

Lizbean: Dolly, what’cha wearing??

Dolly: Red dress.

Lizbean: Go on

Dolly: Black choker. 

Lizbean: OK 

Dolly: Black jacket. 

Lizbean: U suck at this. Go farther down

Dolly: Orange socks

Lizbean: 

Chapter Text

3:32 A. M. 

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

Lizbean: CYN WHT
Lizbean: WHERE DIDU GET THAT
Lizbean: DISGUSTING 

Cynnamoroll: *giggles deviously* You will never know. 

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture] 

Lizbean: CCCYYYYYNNNN
Lizbean: WWWWWHHHYYYYYYY
Lizbean: 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
Lizbean: GROSSGROSSGROSS
Lizbeab: 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

Kill-Jay: Stop blowing my phone up. 
Kill-Jay: Jesus Christ, what is that?
Kill-Jay: Cyn, why do you have Yume’s Charizard R34?

Cynnamoroll: *tilts head* How do you know who drew it?

Lizbean: J?

Dolly: What’s going on?
Dolly: CYN!

Cynnamoroll: I found it on Pinterest. 

Lizbean: U found R34 on Pinterest??

Cynnamoroll: Yes. 

Lizbean: I-
Lizbean: 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤢

Cynnamoroll: Lol

[Cynnamoroll has sent a pic]

3:36 A. M. 

TBCooper: Yo, Liz, you good?
TBCooper: I just heard you throw your phone

Lizbean: Don’t check the chat

TBCooper: You can’t stop me
TBCooper: Je

4:06 A. M. 

TBCooper: Bad idea 

Lizbean: Srry

Dolly: What happened?

TBCooper: She stole my phone

Lizbean: I stole his phone
Lizbean: Our prnts yelled at us 
Lizbean: Humiliating 
Lizbean: I had to explain the Charizard porn!!!!!!!!!

TBCooper: Never again

Lizbean: Never again

Cynnamoroll: *smirk* I’m not sorry. 

Chapter Text

9:17 P. M. 

Kurovi: I have some new merch stuff, idiots
Kurovi: Check it

[Kurovi sent a picture]

CaptainBiscuit: Oh, that’s your character as a……fox?

Kurovi: She’s a cat, duh

L’il_Bat: whatever
L’il_Bat: cute though

Lizbean: I’ll buy one. 
Lizbean: Then I can squish it

Asset: N, I think Cyn might need you. 
Asset: She’s throwing up in the bathroom. 

CaptainBiscuit: What? Why?!

Cynnamoroll: Don’t eat paper, kids. 
Cynnamoroll: I threw up. :)
Cynnamoroll: I ate paper. Again. 

CaptainBiscuit: CYN, WHY?!

Cynnamoroll: I thought it’d be funny. *weak thumbs-up*

CaptainBiscuit: I’m heading over. 
CaptainBiscuit: What am I gonna do with you?

Cynnamoroll: Can’t get rid of me, I burned the adoption papers already. 

Kurovi: Jesus Christ, Cyn
Kurovi: We can’t take you anywhere

Asset: Yeah, by the way, I’m not allowed to have friends over for the rest of the month. 
Asset: Mother was furious. :(

Lizbean: Ur mom’s whack 

Asset: I mean…….
Asset: I can’t argue. 

Cynnamoroll: Can I have one of those cat plushies?

Kurovi: Sure
Kurovi: Just please don’t eat paper again

L’il_Bat: which book was it

Cynnamoroll: Hamlet

Kurovi: NVM, I’ll help you 

Cynnamoroll: Don’t. It tastes like blood and nasty stuff. 

Kurovi: I have no problem with the first thing

L’il_Bat: jesus christ v
L’il_Bat: why are you so terrifying

Kurovi: Someone has to be
Kurovi: Might as well be me

Chapter Text

1:00 A. M. 

Cynnamoroll: Liz, do you still work at Ulta?

Lizbean: Yeah, Y?

Cynnamoroll: I need nail polish. 
Cynnamoroll: Mine are dead. 

Lizbean: Anythng ✨ right?

Cynnamoroll: *nods* Yep. I’ll pay you back. 

Lizbean: 👍🏼

Cynnamoroll: 👍🏻

1:20 A. M. 

Kurovi: If y’all were drinks, what would y’all be

Lizbean: Whatev has a lotta strawberry juice and a high alcohol content 
Lizbean: Duh

TBCooper: I’d say Doll is vodka but

Dolly: OI

TBCooper: We all know she’s cran-grape juice. 

Dolly: I can’t even be offended over that, it’s true. 
Dolly: That stuff is my blood now. 

CaptainBiscuit: Uzi’s grape soda. 
CaptainBiscuit: Cyn is either apple cider or hot chocolate with extra marshmallows. 

Cynnamoroll: Aw, thank you. 
Cynnamoroll: You’re water. 

CaptainBiscuit: Thanks!

L’il_Bat: v is whatever coffee drink has the most caffeine 

Kurovi: As if
Kurovi: I’m def an energy drink
Kurovi: Right, N?

CaptainBiscuit: Uh…….
CaptainBiscuit: Thad, you’re Sprite. 

TBCooper: Thanks, dude. 

Asset: J is coffee. 
Asset: Or milk. 
Asset: I don’t know. 

Kill-Jay: I’d say you’re Cherry Vanilla Coca-Cola, Tessa. 

CaptainBiscuit: Isn’t that your favorite flavor, J?

Kill-Jay: Tessa’s my favorite person. 

Lizbean: She’s ur ✨bestie✨

Asset: Whatever. 

L’il_Bat: i cant believe no one said sewage or bleach
L’il_Bat: TF is wrong with us

Kurovi: Let’s see
Kurovi: You’re 4’10 and dating a jock
Kurovi: Cyn is a menace who’s not allowed outside
Kurovi: N’s dating me
Kurovi: Doll is Doll
Kurovi: Tessa’s bestie is J
Kurovi: Lizzy is a hot mess in Wendigo cosplay
Kurovi: I’d say that’s about it

TBCooper: I somehow escaped that. 

Kurovi: Your chat name is literally an air pirate, you can’t talk

TBCooper: But he escaped and looked badass while doing it.

Kurovi: HE WORE A CLIP PN TIE AND LOAFERS

1:30 A. M.

TBCooper: I didn’t know that. 

L’il_Bat: i got you dude

(Admin has changed one name)

TBTuber: Nice. 
TBTuber: Thanks, Zi. 

Chapter Text

10:03 P. M.

Dolly: I need someone to take me to the hospital. 
Dolly: I have a steak knife in my leg. 

TBTuber: WHAT

Cynnamoroll: QUE
Cynnamoroll: QUAND

L’il_Bat: literally how

Asset: Weren’t you and Lizzy supposed to be doing……stuff?

Kill-Jay: Where are your aunt and uncle?

Dolly: At a concert. 

TBTuber: V and I are chilling, we’ll come get you. 
TBTuber: Keep texting so I know you’re alive.

Kurovi: Was the foreplay that bad?

CaptainBiscuit: Where is Lizzy?

Dolly: She fainted
Dolly: Probably should mention
Dolly: I’m gonna need some help getting dressed
Dolly: V
Dolly: I’m not answering that question 

Kurovi: Not like I really wanna know what my bitchy bestie’s like in bed or wherever the hell you guys were

L’il_Bat: how did this even happen

Dolly: Don’t ask

Kill-Jay: Why didn’t you call 911?

Dolly: I’m not paying for a ride WHEEWHOO WHEEWHOO wagon

Dolly: I mean

Dolly: It’s not like I’ll be bleeding in your car
Dolly: I didn’t take the knife out duh

Asset: What’s with the leg trauma? 
Asset: Seems to be a weird coincidence. 

Cynnamoroll: Don’t question it, Tessie. 
Cynnamoroll: If you know what’s good for you, you won’t question it. 

Asset: N!

CaptainBiscuit: Cyn. 

Cynnamoroll: Oh, nyo. 
Cynnamoroll: *runs from room*

3:21 A. M. 

Dolly: I got stitches and lived, bitches. 
Dolly: I am in severe pain
Dolly: :(

Chapter Text

12:27 A. M. 

Tessa: Hey, Nate
Tessa: Where are you right now
Tessa: Your sister is having a problem 

Me: What do you mean?
Me: Where are you two?

Tessa: She’s been breathing really hard and crying
Tessa: I took her out of the cafeteria 
Tessa: We’re in the library 

Me: I’m in math
Me: I’ll be right there

1:51 P. M. 

Me: Thanks again.

Tessa: No problem. 
Tessa: Is she okay now?

Me: Yeah. 
Me: The noise got to her, and I think she forgot her headphones at home. 
Me: She said she’ll make sure they’re in her bag next time. 

Tessa: Is there anything else I should know about?
Tessa: Since I’m helping and all. 

Me: Let me think. 

1:53 P. M. 

Me: Loud, repetitive noises, large crowds, random people touching her or her wheelchair, there’s a lot of stuff she hates the texture of, but that shouldn’t be an issue.

Tessa: Got it. 
Tessa: 👍🏼
Tessa: I will do my best. 
Tessa: What calms her down?

Me: Taking her out of the situation. 
Me: She loves the library, so the two of you can find some books to read. 
Me: She’s got some charms on her backpack she plays with. 
Me: That’s a good start, I think. 

Tessa: Thanks, Nate. 

Me: You’re welcome. 🙂🙂

Chapter Text

1:35 P. M.

Kurovi: Yo, I need someone to play TCOAAL with me!
Kurovi: I cannot do Andrew’s voice, and it’s driving me crazy!

Cynnamoroll: *confused expression* What is TCOAAL?

Lizbean: Cyn, do u remember that funni game I bot Thad some time back??

Cynnamoroll: Yeah. 

Lizbean: That game

L’il_Bat: you bought him that game 

Lizbean: Yeah, I thought it would be funny

L’il_Bat: doesnt it have incest and cannibalism and demons and crap

Lizbean: It’s a game
Lizbean: Whatevs

Kurovi: I need someone to play it with me
Kurovi: Gremlin, you wanna??

L’il_Bat: ew god no
L’il_Bat: im not gonna play andrew 
L’il_Bat: i wanna be the crazy chick

Kurovi: I’m already voicing the crazy chick

CaptainBiscuit: I can play Andrew!!
CaptainBiscuit: Wait, when?

Kurovi: In, like, a few minutes 
Kurovi: I have the loading screen running

TBTuber: I’ll be Andy. 

Kurovi: You kinda look like him, just not goth 

TBTuber: Thanks?

Lizbean: Ooh, ✨csply idea!!!!✨

TBTuber: Maybe not. How’s Doll?

Lizbean: Cursing at the void
Lizbean: Glitching through time and space 
Lizbean: She says hi

Cynnamoroll: *waves* Hi!!!!!!

Asset: I have come to announce my parents are throwing a gala for the summer solstice. 

Kurovi: Damn, I’ll be out of the city 

CaptainBiscuit: Same. 
CaptainBiscuit: :(

L’il_Bat: ditto 

Asset: Hhhoooowwwww??????

Kurovi: We’re camp counselors at that Camp 98.7 thing
Kurovi: Blame the gremlin, she dragged us into it

L’il_Bat: I DID NOT

TBTuber: I’m headed to your house, V. 

Kurovi: Cool, I’m just letting the loading screen run
Kurovi: Yeah, no, blame Uzi
Kurovi: Or N

CaptainBiscuit: I did think it’d be fun to be a counselor. 

Cynnamoroll: *raises teacup* Perhaps you like to attend the gala with me, J? *light sip* 

Kill-Jay: God, no. 
Kill-Jay: Aren’t you not allowed over there?

Cynnamoroll: For the time being. 
Cynnamoroll: Whatever, so lame. 

Asset: I’m sure if Cyn’s with you, J, my parents will let you two in. 

Cynnamoroll: Let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in, let me in. 

Kill-Jay: I hate you. 

Cynnamoroll: *smiles* I love you, too. 

Kill-Jay: N. Do something. 

CaptainBiscuit: Haha, nah. 

Kill-Jay: I hate you. 

TBTuber: Yo, I’m here. Let me in. 

Kurovi: Fine. 

Cynnamoroll: Hello? Lemme in? I just want your skin. Lemme in! Hello!

(Admin has muted one person)

Chapter Text

2:41 A. M. 

Lizbean: If u guys had an OnlyFans, what would u sell??

CaptainBiscuit: Like, just the stupidest things. 
CaptainBiscuit: Like me lying in the rain. I don’t think people would like that, though. 

Lizbean: Have u seen urself? You’d get some peeps

Kurovi: Stop flirting with my boyfriend

Lizbean: As if. 
Lizbean: That’s, like, so gross 

L’il_Bat: id also do stupid things n
L’il_Bat: not even anything sexual just funny

TBTuber: I think I’d do actual stuff on there. 

Lizbean: Shut TF up, bro. 
Lizbean: U can’t speak here. 

Kill-Jay: I’m gonna go work in traffic now. 
Kill-Jay: Bye, losers. 

CaptainBiscuit: Bye, J. 

Asset: I’m not sure. 
Asset: I guess just whatever people would want to see. 

Cynnamoroll: *shakes head* No, thank you. I do not think I’d do anything like that. 

Dolly: Anything fun. 

Kurovi: Stuff with N, I guess
Kurovi: That’s allowed, right?

Lizbean: 👍🏼
Lizbean: I’m sure the 2 of u would make people go wild

Kill-Jay: Lizzy, I hate you. 

Lizbean: U can’t say that, it’s finally Pride Month

Kill-Jay: I hate you. 

Lizbean: Whatevs. 

CaptainBiscuit: How did we get here?
CaptainBiscuit: Just how?

Asset: I dunno

Lizbean: I was bored on Steam

Kurovi: Anyways, our opening night is this week
Kurovi: Y’all wanna come?

TBTuber: That’s what she said. 
TBTuber: Sure

Lizbean: Totes

Dolly: Meh. 

Asset: I wouldn’t miss it. 

Cynnamoroll: Maybe. 

L’il_Bat: duh

Kurovi: Cool. 
Kurovi: Imma crash now
Kurovi: ✌🏻✌🏻

Chapter Text

4:49 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Our Uncle Anthony just got out of jail today!
CaptainBiscuit: I’m so excited to see him again!

L’il_Bat: uh why was he in jail

Cynnamoroll: *rolls eyes* He’d say mafia stuff

TBTuber: Yo, that’s kinda baller 

Lizbean: Umm, literally how??
Lizbean: That’s, like, so boring

Kurovi: Wait, is this the uncle who calls himself Angel Dust?

CaptainBiscuit: Yeah. 

Kurovi: Fuck him
Kurovi: We got into an argument over cats and spiders 

4:53 P. M. 

Kurovi: Yeah, fuck him

CaptainBiscuit: 
CaptainBiscuit: HOW?!
CaptainBiscuit: How did you even get into that argument?!

Kurovi: Don’t ask. 

Cynnamoroll: *giggles*

Lizbean: Srsly, tho, do u just not know why he went to jail?

CaptainBiscuit: Nope! Our parents never told us. 

L’il_Bat: that either means it was really bad or really lame

CaptainBiscuit: I mean, we’re allowed to see him, so it can’t be that bad. 

Lizbean: I guess

TBTuber: Sure

L’il_Bat: maybe he stole some stuff

Kurovi: Maybe drugs?

L’il_Bat: maybe he cooked crack
L’il_Bat: i mean what else is baking soda used for

Kurovi: Oh, I don’t know
Kurovi: BAKING?!

CaptainBiscuit: Maybe it really was mafia stuff. 

Lizbean: Oh pls
Lizbean: That’s so last century 

Cynnamoroll: I just asked our parents
Cynnamoroll: *face palm* He did some embezzling from his own restaurant. The Italian one. 
Cynnamoroll: At least it was something decently normal. *sighs*

Chapter Text

10:21 P. M. 

Kurovi: Hello everyone who is currently awake
Kurovi: We might need to do a group call

TBTuber: Why?

Kurovi: We kinda can’t find Uzi

TBTuber: WHAT
TBTuber: HOW DID YOU LOSE UZI

Kurovi: I never said we lost her
Kurovi: We just can’t find her

• • •

V: Hello?

Thad:(enraged) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T FIND HER?

V: (pause) Okay, chill out. 

N: She said something about living in the woods before running off. 
N: It’s been (checks time) five hours. 

Thad: (shocked) And you just now noticed she was gone?!

N: We thought she could use some time alone. 
N: It was only when she didn’t come back that we realized something had to be wrong. 

V: We got the other counselors helping out. 
V: (reassuring) We’ll find her, Thad. I promise. 

Thad: (enraged) You better! 

(Rustling sounds).

V: (faintly muffled) Uzi? Uzi, I’ve got Thad on the phone! 
V: (dismayed) She’s not here. 

Thad: Does she have her phone?

V: Wow, I can’t believe we never thought to call or text her!
V: Of course she doesn’t have her phone, you idiot! 

Thad: Fuck you!

V: Huh? Oh! Fuck you, too!

N: Guys, calm down. 

(A door opens, then closes).

Lizzy: Bro, stop yelling. Doll and I are tryna, like, chill. 

Thad: Uzi’s missing at camp! 

Lizzy: (shocked) What the Hell? Seriously?

Thad: YES!

Lizzy: (close-up) V, you there?

V: Yeah. I might not be able to stay on call for much longer, though. The woods don’t like it. 

N: That sounded kinda creepy. 

(Rustling, branches snapping, owls hooting, breathing).

10:59 P. M. 

(Rustling, breathing, faint sounds of crying).

V: (softly) Holy shit. 

Thad: V?

N: V?

Lizzy: Vio?

V: Holy shit. 
V: (faintly muffled) Hey, you’re gonna be okay. Can I hug you? Hey, it’s gonna be okay, gremlin. 
V: N, I’m gonna stay out here a bit longer. 

N: You found her?

Thad: You found her?!

Lizzy: Good job or whatever, V. 

• • •

1:04 A. M. 

Kurovi: She’s asleep now
Kurovi: She’s in my bed

TBTuber: What happened?

Kurovi: I think she had a panic attack or something and got lost

[Kurovi has sent a picture]

CaptainBiscuit: I’m glad she’s all right. 

TBTuber: You and me both

[Kurovi has sent a picture]

Kurovi: Night, boys

TBTuber: Wait. 
TBTuber: I know this is a weird request, but could you hold her? 

Kurovi: Like, cuddle with her?
Kurovi: Sure
Kurovi: I guess so

TBTuber: Thanks, V. 

Kurovi: No prob

CaptainBiscuit: I’d join in if I could. 
CaptainBiscuit: :(

TBTuber: Thanks again, you two. 
TBTuber: Tell everyone else I said thanks

Kurovi: Sure

CaptainBiscuit: Of course, dude. 

Chapter Text

6:00 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: *giggle* I am so naughty. The flesh demands invitation. 

7:30 P. M. 

[Asset has sent a picture]

Asset: J, what’s wrong with this picture?

Kill-Jay: I don’t know. 

Asset: Well, maybe it’s the fact that CYN ISNT THERE

Kill-Jay: What?! I just saw her five minutes ago!

Asset: We need to find her. 
Asset: I’m guessing she’s still here. She couldn’t have gone far.

Kill-Jay: You don’t understand. 
Kill-Jay: If she wants to play a prank, she will move Heaven and Earth to play the prank. 
Kill-Jay: She will ignore any and all pain to do “the funni.”

Asset:
Asset: We need to find her. 
Asset: Now. 
Asset: Check the tables. 

Kill-Jay: How am I supposed to just casually check under the tables?

Asset: Just say you lost your earring or something. 
Asset: You do have earrings on, right?

Kill-Jay: Of course I do. Who do you think I am?

7:50 P. M.

Asset: Where can she be?

Kill-Jay: I heard that. 

Asset: Did you hear that scream?
Asset: Never mind. 

8:40 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: *sigh* Seems J will not let me out of my time out. 

Kill-Jay: I’m letting you watch your stupid horror movies. 
Kill-Jay: Get over it. 

Asset: Send proof of life pics plz

9:00 P. M. 

[Kill-Jay has sent a picture]

Asset: I meant of Cyn. 

9:15 P. M. 

[Kill-Jay has sent a picture]

Asset: See, it’s not that bad. 

10:00 P. M. 

Asset: Thanks again for coming. 

Kill-Jay: You’re welcome. 

Asset: You know, you didn’t have to stay in my room with Cyn. 

Kill-Jay: It was fine. I haven’t exactly spent time with her in a while.

Asset: If you say so. 

11:30 P. M. 

Asset: Jesus Christ, Cyn

Kill-Jay: What’s wrong, boss?

Asset: I don’t even know how she did this 
Asset: She managed to rearrange a fair amount of the books in the library
Asset: And that’s only one example of her pranks
Asset: Mother is furious
Asset: I’M the one who has to clean up Cyn’s mess
Asset: That little gremlin is lucky she’s not here
Asset: God

Kill-Jay: As much as I hate to admit it, that’s actually kind of funny. 

Asset: You wanna clean this up?

Kill-Jay: Nope!

Chapter Text

7:29 P. M. 

Dolly: Floor soup is on the menu tonight, boys!

Cynnamoroll: *dragging spoon across floor* I hate this place, why do we always come here?

Dolly: It’s cheap. 😟🔫 Don’t question it. 

Cynnamoroll: *sigh* This house is a nightmare. 

CaptainBiscuit: Mhmm, floor soup! It’s the best!

Cynnamoroll: N??!!

3:00 A. M. 

TBTuber: What’s the difference between impulsive and intrusive thoughts?

Kurovi: Impulsive thoughts are me when I think it would be really funny to throw water balloons at Doll and doing it

Dolly: Intrusive thoughts are wanting to throw rock-filled water balloons at V. 

Kurovi: Do it, you coward

Dolly: Fine. 

3:15 A. M.

Kurovi: HOLY SHIT
Kurovi: ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

Dolly: Yep. 

2:56 A. M. 

L’il_Bat: askmhgjcydstcjon jhvhfvhnvhtdzar

Lizbean: Mood. 

TBTuber: That’s a vibe. 

Dolly: ??

L’il_Bat: oiknjgxyhvjhihdxgujkibhugcc
L’il_Bat: fightmeyoupieceofcrap

Dolly: OI

3:42 A. M. 

Asset: N, I have a question. 
Asset: Why does Cyn look like me?
Asset: I mean, it’s cute and all but confusing. 

N: Oh, it just means she likes you. 
N: She used to look like J when we were kids, then V until she met you. 

Asset: Ah. 
Asset: Thanks. 

N: 👍🏻

Asset: 👍🏼

5:37 P. M. 

Lizbean: I want to die
Lizbean: Math is so unfair
Lizbean: God

TBTuber: I’d offer to help but
TBTuber: Nah

Lizbean: FU u piece of shit

TBTuber: 🤷‍♂️ 

Chapter Text

11:06 P. M.

Dolly: Question: if you guys had to marry someone in this group other than your partner, who would it be?

Kill-Jay: I’ll marry someone for the tax benefits. 

Asset: Ooh! I wanna marry someone for the tax benefits!

Kill-Jay: It’s a plan, boss. 

Kurovi: I dunno, maybe Uzi

L’il_Bat: wow really

Kurovi: I mean, we know each other pretty well, and you’ve also called me hot before

Lizbean: I have 2!!!!!!
Lizbean: Whatev
Lizbean: I guess ur off my list now

Kurovi: Oh, no
Kurovi: Whatever shall I do?

L’il_Bat: I guess V or N

TBTuber: Noice
TBTuber: I’ve got no clue. 
TBTuber: Maybe Cyn. 

Cynnamoroll: Hehe, get ready for our brain cells and mangoes to go down. 

TBTuber: N O I C E

Dolly: J. 

Kill-Jay: No. 

Dolly: FU

Kill-Jay: Yiu first. 

Asset: Heh, yiu. 

Kill-Jay: I’m divorcing you. 

Asset: NNNOOO!

CaptainBiscuit: Oh, jeez, I’m not sure. Maybe Uzi. 

Kurovi: 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

L’il_Bat: bite me

Kurovi: Okay
Kurovi: *bites Uzi*

L’il_Bat: never mind im divorcing you too
L’il_Bat: n you wanna get married

Chapter Text

8:00 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: pay up!!

Kill-Jay: No. 
Kill-Jay: Please?

L’il_Bat: you know what you have to do
L’il_Bat: bring the menace

Kill-Jay: Oh, screw you. 
Kill-Jay: Let me out of this punishment. 

Kurovi: Ooh, what’s going on

Kill-Jay: Mind your damn business. 

L’il_Bat: j lost a bet so she has to play joy of creation with me and cyn 

CaptainBiscuit: What was the bet?

Kill-Jay: Something I thought I’d win. 

Lizbean: K, but, like, wat was it?

Kill-Jay: Uzi bet me that I couldn’t sing “What the World Needs” from memory. 
Kill-Jay: I hate you now, Uzi. 

L’il_Bat: good

Dolly: Are you going to stream it?

L’il_Bat: duh and vc will be open

Cynnamoroll: I am inside your walls. 

L’il_Bat: are you the one who’s been stealing my snacks

Cynnamoroll: Yes. 

L’il_Bat: give em back

Cynnamoroll: Nyo. 
Cynnamoroll: *sticks tongue out*

L’il_Bat: j collect your sister please 

Kill-Jay: No. 

8:20 P. M. 

• • •

J: I hate this. I really hate this. Tessa, I get why you don’t like this series. 

Tessa: (teasing) It only took you a few years. 

Uzi: Hey, watch out for-

J: (screams)

Cyn: IGNITED BONNIE PUNCH!

N: Uzi, didn’t you once-

Uzi: Punch my monitor like that? Yeah. 

V: Literally, why?

Uzi: Someone gave me five bucks to do it. 

V: (laughing)

Doll: J, I think someone’s about to get you. 

J: (shrieks) 

Lizzy: Imagine if you have the dev in chat. That’d be hilarious. Like, it’s just a bunch of screams. That’s how you know you made a scary game.

Thad: Liz, you have the horror tolerance of a teaspoon. You can’t talk. 

Lizzy: Hey. 

Thad: Ssh, teaspoons don’t talk. 

Lizzy: I am going to throw hands. 

J: Nope, I’m done. Cyn, it’s your turn. 

Cyn: Yay! Gravity!

(Gameplay occasionally broken up by gasps, laughter, and shrieks).

Uzi: Who wants to make a bet with me next?

N: I will!

V: Eh, why not?

Thad: Zi, you know I love you, but no. 

Uzi: Bite me! Why not?

Thad: I just know it’ll be like this. 

Uzi: Hmm, yeah. You’re right. 

Tessa: I’d say yes, but I’m not sure I trust you with a bet.

Uzi: (gremlin cackles)

Tessa: See?

Doll: I’ll make a bet with you. 

Lizzy: Count me out. 

Cyn: (raises hand eagerly)

J: No. 

(Player character gets killed by Chica).

Chapter Text

2:41 P. M.

Lizbean: Chat, my house might b haunted

TBTuber: “Chat?”

Lizbean: STFU
Lizbean: I’ve been around V 2 long

Kurovi: You’re welcome

TBTuber: Anyways, what’s this about the house being haunted?

Lizbean: K, so I was making food
Lizbean: And the plate just, like, fuckin flew in2 the sink
Lizbean: Cyn, did u do something???????

Cynnamoroll: Nope! 

Lizbean: Whatevs. 
Lizbean: Uzi, come over, do ur creepy goth thing

L’il_Bat: bite me im emo
L’il_Bat: im not helping you 

Lizbean: Ur literally so annoying
Lizbean: N, come help me

CaptainBiscuit: Okay!

Dolly: Wait, your plate went flying across the kitchen, and you want N to help?!

Lizbean: Umm, yeah
Lizbean: What’s the prob?

Dolly: Get Cyn to help. 

Lizbean: No. 
Lizbean: She’ll bond with the fuckin ghost, and I want it gone

Cynnamoroll: *nods* I would do that. 

CaptainBiscuit: I’ll be over in a bit, Lizzy!

Lizbean: Thank God
Lizbean: It just slammed my computer shut
Lizbean: It doesn’t even pay rent
Lizbean: Get out

L’il_Bat: thad how are you not concerned about this

TBTuber: I’m at Chad’s RN
TBTuber: The ghost isn’t bothering me

Lizbean: If I get attacked, it’s ur fault

TBTuber: How?!

Lizbean: ‘Cause u weren’t there to punch it

2:46 P. M.

TBTuber: HOW?!
TBTuber: ITS A GHOST LIZZY!

Chapter Text

1:34 P. M. 

Cynnamoroll: Can I stream with you today, Uzi?

L’il_Bat: you wanna do that again 

Cynnamoroll: Absolutely. 

L’il_Bat: sure

Cynnamoroll: *claps* How fun. I can’t wait. 

2:59 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: n i need help
L’il_Bat: cyn kicked me out of my room 

CaptainBiscuit: How did she manage to do that?

L’il_Bat: i went to get some water and she licked the door behind me
L’il_Bat: locked
L’il_Bat: the stream is in shambles
L’il_Bat: she better not break tos 
L’il_Bat: i need an adult
L’il_Bat: I NEED AN ADULT

CaptainBiscuit: Try texting her.

L’il_Bat: shes leaving me on read
L’il_Bat: two people in particular keep donating for a “chaos fund” 
L’il_Bat: i hate it here 

Kill-Jay: Try telling her that we’re disappointed in her actions. 

L’il_Bat: shes on an attention high nkt a toddler

Kill-Jay: Tell her that I’ll bring the Furby over. 

L’il_Bat: wait a minute 

Kurovi: What’s going on??

L’il_Bat: @TBTuber
L’il_Bat: @Dolly

Kurovi: Oh, no

[L’il_Bat has sent a picture]

[L’il_Bat has sent a picture]

L’il_Bat: this you?

Dolly:
Dolly: No. 

Kurovi: Oh, NO

TBTuber: Totally not. 

CaptainBiscuit: LOL!!!!!!!!

L’il_Bat: YOU
L’il_Bat: LITTLE
L’il_Bat: DUMBASSES
L’il_Bat: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

TBTuber: In my defense, I thought it’d be very funny. 

Dolly: Thad roped me into it! (Not really).

L’il_Bat: BITE ME

4:00 P. M. 

(Admin has changed one name)

L’il_Bat: think about what youve done you little menace 

Furby: *pouting* It was just a prank. 

Chapter Text

3:04 A. M. 

L’il_Bat: j o need you to gicr me some good agvucr

Kill-Jay: No. 

L’il_Bat: whst
L’il_Bat: wry nkt

Kill-Jay: The way you text is atrocious, and it gives me a heart attack every time I see it. 

L’il_Bat: uuuuuuhhhhhhh

Kill-Jay: Please. I know you know how to use proper grammar. 

L’il_Bat: nnnnnooooooiiiiiiii

Kill-Jay: You’re giving me a stroke. 

L’il_Bat: ird nkt that getd to rwad

Furby: It kinda is. 
Furby: I do not like it that much, but it’s also very funny to watch J bang her head against the wall. 

Asset: J, go to sleep.

Kill-Jay: No. 
Kill-Jay: Uzi, please. 

L’il_Bat: butr mw

Kill-Jay: Are we going to have a problem?
Kill-Jay: You got a bone to pick?
Kill-Jay: You’ve come so far, why now are you pulling on my dick?!

Furby: *giggles*

L’il_Bat: oh god its starting

[Kill-Jay has sent a video]

L’il_Bat: hiw linf havr u has tgat sved

Asset: I think she just self-destructed. What did you *do,* Uzi?

Furby: *sing-song* Ding dong, J is dead. 

Kill-Jay: I am going to stab one of you, but in a funny way!
Kill-Jay: No one can even be mad!

Chapter Text

9:00 A. M. 

Asset: We’re going to the gun range today!!!!!!

Furby: *confused* Tessie, who’s we?

CaptainBiscuit: Me, Tessa, V, and J. 

Furby: You didn’t tell me about that. None of you did. 

Kill-Jay: Sorry, Cyn. Slipped my mind. 

Kurovi: I haven’t seen you in forever, Cynnie

Furby: *pouts* Bleh. 

Asset: We’ll send pictures of the targets so you guys can guess! Text ya later!

12:30 P. M. 

[Asset has sent a picture]

[Asset has sent a picture]

[Asset has sent a picture]

[Asset has sent a picture]

TBTuber: This is so ominous. 

Asset: Guess. 

L’il_Bat: oh boy 

Lizbean: I’m gonna guess Tessa has the first pic
Lizbean: Ur freakishly good with a gun

Asset: Aww, thnx. 

Lizbean: 💖💖💖💖

Asset: 💛💛

Dolly: V has the last one. 

Kurovi: DOLL

L’il_Bat: yeah shes got the last one

Kurovi: AYE
Kurovi: Ugh, fine
Kurovi: Yeah, I suck
Kurovi: These hands are rated E for everyone, though

Furby: N might have the second one. 
Furby: *thinking* It could also be J’s……
Furby: I don’t know. 
Furby: Bye, nerds. 
Furby: *climbs back into the wall*

L’il_Bat: gimme back my snacks! cyn!

TBTuber: J has the third one. 
TBTuber: It has the least amount of shots, but they’re all in the center. 

Kill-Jay: Damn, Thad. 
Kill-Jay: Good job. 

L’il_Bat: maybe i could go with you guys next time

Kurovi: You have a gun? 
Kurovi: Since when?

L’il_Bat: my mom got it for me a few months ago

CaptainBiscuit: I didn’t know that! Yeah, you can come with us!

Dolly: I’ll join. 

CaptainBiscuit: Yay! Party! 

Asset: Oh, boy.

Chapter Text

12:03 P. M. 

 
CaptainBiscuit: Update: Uncle Anthony got arrested again!

L’il_Bat: literally how over what 

Furby: *big sigh* He caused havoc at some cheap Italian restaurant that pretending to be a fancy Italian restaurant. 
Furby: *banging head against the wall* Why are we related to him?!

CaptainBiscuit: It was recorded!

[CaptainBiscuit has sent a video]

Lizbean: LOL
Lizbean: It’d be so fun to b arrest over being a public nuisance

TBTuber: I was once arrested for being too handsome. 

Lizbean: The charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence 
Lizbean: Moron

Kurovi: Seriously? 
Kurovi: Stop bickering

Lizbean: OK, mom

Kurovi: You’re grounded. Go to your room

Lizbean: Ugh, this house is a nightmare!!!!!!!

L’il_Bat: okay what is going on

Furby: I dunno. 

Asset: I’m just reading these and having a blast, lol. 
Asset: N, your uncle sounds like a menace

CaptainBiscuit: Cyn had to get it from somewhere. 

Furby: What did I even do?!

Asset: How about you ask my mother?

Furby: Oh, nyo. 
Furby: ‘Twas just a prank, Tessie. 

Kill-Jay: N, tell your uncle to stop getting arrested. This can’t be good for him. 

CaptainBiscuit: I mean, I can try. Last time I talked to  him, he gave me $50 and told me to see if we had any oil. 
CaptainBiscuit: Jax slid right into the oven door. 

L’il_Bat: w h a t

Chapter Text

Unknown: Yo what up guys 
Unknown: It’s me ya boy

Kurovi: Wrong number, pal

Unknown: Nope this is actually the right number 

Lizbean: Who is this

Unknown: Take a guess sweetheart 

Lizbean: Oh, GROSS 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Dolly: Who are you?

Unknown: Hehehehehehehehehe
Unknown: Ask Cynnie dear why don’t ya

Furby: Jax, get out of the chat. 

CaptainBiscuit: I’ll drive over to your house right now. 

Unknown: Hmm
Unknown: How about no

TBTuber: Dude, leave. 

Unknown: Nope
Unknown: Furby 
Unknown: That’s pretty lore accurate 

(Admin has changed two names)

Cynnamoroll: *annoyed* Leave. 
Cynnamoroll: Thank you, Uzi!!

Jax: Ugh stand back I think I’m gonna vomit

CaptainBiscuit: Good. Leave. 

Kill-Jay: Wow, N, this is new. 

Kurovi: You good, bro? 

Asset: N, take a deep breath. Maybe walk away for a few seconds. 

CaptainBiscuit: Jax, go away. 

Jax: Nope
Jax: I’m gonna stay here for at least a week or so
Jax: Be prepared 

Chapter Text

3:21 P. M. 

Jax: I’m bored 

CaptainBiscuit: Remind me why I’m letting you stay here in this chat. 

Jax: You know the deal
Jax: We pretend to get along like good cousins for a week
Jax: Then I go away 

CaptainBiscuit: I don’t particularly like this plan. 

Jax: Too bad cuz

CaptainBiscuit: 
CaptainBiscuit: You need to work on your people skills. 

Jax: Hmm
Jax: Nah

[Jax has sent a picture]

12:56 A. M. 

Lizbean: What do u like doing?

Jax: Pranks mostly 
Jax: Gangle’s my favorite person to target

Lizbean: I get that
Lizbean: Uzi’s 2 easy to prank
Lizbean: Like, 2 easy

Jax: How so

Lizbean: She’s dating Thad, so she’s over enough that I’ve figured out several ways to annoy her
Lizbean: It’s so fun

Jax: Anyone else

Lizbean: Not really
Lizbean: V and J are lame, Doll and Thad would prank me right back, Cyn is a menace to society, Tessa would also get me back, and N is boring

Jax: I see
Jax: Noted

Lizbean: ✌🏼
Lizbean: ✨Have fun✨

10:27 A. M. 

Jax: Anyone want to go to the movies today

CaptainBiscuit: No, thank you. 

Jax: Cynnie dear

Cynnamoroll: No. 

Jax: Anyone

Dolly: Sure. 

Lizbean: Y not?

Kurovi: Pass. 

Asset: Maybe

Kill-Jay: Tessa, I was gonging to show you a new show I found. 

Asset: Sorry, Jax. 

Jax: Ugh lame

L’il_Bat: ur lame

Jax: Oh how you wound me

(Admin has changed one name)

Jaxass: Ya kidding me 

11:04 A. M. 

Jaxass: V you wanna help with something 

Kurovi: Will it be fun?

Jaxass: Totally
Jaxass: The most fun you’ve ever had

Kurovi: Yeah, that’s hard to beat considering a few other things I’ve done

Jaxass: Like what

Kurovi: 🖕🏻🖕🏻
Kurovi: You don’t want that answer, trust me

Jaxass: You’re no fun
Jaxass: I might as well get Gangle to do something 

Kurovi: Who’s Gangle?

Jaxass: Someone in my friend group for some unfathomable reason
Jaxass: She’s fun to play with

Kurovi: Ew, weirdo

Jaxass: Not like that ya dick 

Kurovi: Whatevs
Kurovi: What’s the plan 

Chapter Text

2:42 P. M.

Lizbean: Update: the ghost is back
Lizbean: It just thru a book against the wall
Lizbean: Gonna die brb

Jaxass: What ghost

TBTuber: We seem to be haunted by a ghost, but it’s only messing with Liz

Lizbean: Cyn, come do ur thing or whatevs

Cynnamoroll: Okie! 

Kurovi: I’ll pick you up. 

Cynnamoroll: 👍🏻👍🏻

Jaxass: Ghosts aren’t real
Jaxass: Even if they were why would they be haunting you

Lizbean: I dunno 
Lizbean: Uzi, I’m blaming u for not doing ur goth thing and getting rid of it

L’il_Bat: bite me and im still emo not goth

Lizbean: Ugh

Kurovi: Has Doll tried scaring it away?

Dolly: No. 

Kurovi: Got it
Kurovi: Thad, punch it 

TBTuber: Not you too 

Kurovi: Fine, I’ll punch it

Lizbean: Thnx
Lizbean: At least 1 of you have common sense

TBTuber: Oh, whatever. 

Jaxass: I am mildly concerned 

Cynnamoroll: You should be. 

Chapter Text

Kurovi: I need help. 

• • •

V: So…..(nervous laugh) My computer exploded. 

N: (deeply confused) What?

V: Yeah…..(hisses) I went to open it to stream with Uzi, and it blew up. I don’t know what to do. 

N: Can you open it?

V: (annoyed) No, it went fucking kaboom on me, N! God!

N: Hop on Discord, we need all the brain cells we can get. 

- - -

V: Hi, how is everyone doing? I’m fucking dead on the inside!

Thad: Can you turn your computer on?

V: If anyone suggests that one more time, I will stab you!

Doll: Успокойся, В.

V: (pissed-off laughing) 
V: Just kill me now. Why did this have to happen today? 
V: (groans, whacks her computer) 
V: I’m so screwed……

Tessa: Wait, isn’t today Uzi’s birthday?

N: Yeah. 

Thad: Yep, we got plans later. 

V: Wait, what? 

(Long pause)

V: Shit. 
V: Oh, SHIT! 

(V leaves the screen)

(Jax connects)

Jax: Uh, what’s going on?

Cyn: Madness. 

(A short scream comes from V as she looks for something)

Jax: You know, you remind me of Pomni. 

Lizzy: Oh, brother. 

Thad: Yeah?

Lizzy: No, not you. 

Doll: (giggles)

N: Wait, V, you can just—

(V grabs her phone, disconnects from the stream)

N: Join her VC……..
N: (sighs)

• • •

Kurovi: Dad says it can’t be fixed
Kurovi: FML
Kurovi: FML SO HARD~~

Jaxass: LOL

Kurovi: I’m gonna stab you in a funny way

Jaxass: Jeesh calm down

Kurovi: Jax, where do you live? 
Kurovi: Where do you live?

Chapter Text

10:00 A. M. 

Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING

Kurovi: Cyn, please stop blowing my phone up
Kurovi: N and I are tryna play a game 

L’il_Bat: ooh what game

Kurovi: 
Kurovi: Shut up 

Kill-Jay: Ignoring that. 
Kill-Jay: What’s everyone’s plan for today?

Jaxass: Caine’s working at some crappy haunted house so everyone’s gonna visit him

Kill-Jay: Thank you for feeling the need to intrude, Jax. 

Jaxass: You’re welcome

Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING
Cynnamoroll: CALLBACK PING

Kill-Jay: Tessa, control your sister, please. 

Asset: Cynnie. Stop 

Cynnamoroll: *pouts* Fine. 
Cynnamoroll: I will be marathoning horror movies. 

[Cynamoroll has sent a picture]

Cynnamoroll: This is my outfit. 

Asset: OI

Jaxass: WHAT THE FUCK CYNTHIA

Cynnamoroll: It is my skinsuit. 

Kill-Jay: Cyn, are you okay?

Cynnamoroll: Oh, yeah. 

Jaxass: Goodbye

L’il_Bat: and jax is useless what a surprise 

[Dolly has sent a picture]

Dolly: Anyone know what the fuck this is?
Dolly: Thanks

Kurovi: Ayo, WTF
Kurovi: Lemme get N

L’il_Bat: wait you too

Cynnamoroll: TRIPLETS

Dolly: Что
Dolly: Тройняшки
Dolly: Объяснять

[Cynnamoroll has sent a picture]

[L’il_Bat has sent a picture]

Lizbean: What in the actual hell is going on here???????

CaptainBiscuit: Let’s meet up at the park tonight. 
CaptainBiscuit: Nice photoshop

L’il_Bat: this isnt photoshop n

TBTuber: Wow
TBTuber: Wicked

Asset: I’m away from my phone for five seconds WHAT 
Asset: IS WHAT

Cynnamoroll: I woke up able to do funni stuff

L’il_Bat: samw

Dolly: Что это такое?!

Cynnamoroll: I dunno. 

Lizbean: OK, Doll, I’m gonna go over and try to help figure out whatever the hell is going on

Dolly: Thank you, котёнок

Kill-Jay: We’ll meet up, King’s Park, 8PM. 
Kill-Jay: Don’t be late. 

CaptainBiscuit: Thank you, J!

Kill-Jay: Shut up, loser. 

Lizbean: Shut up, loser. 

Chapter Text

 The last car arrives, and V steps out first. She’s dressed as a Heather Chandler, and she heads to the trunk. As she works on getting the wheelchair out and up, N and Cyn get out. He’s dressed as Makoto Naegi, but it’s his twin’s costume that makes everyone else freeze. 

  Her black dress is torn and bloodied at the hem, and a yellow armband wraps around the left sleeve. Her bare skin has been painted to look as through she had exposed and bloody robot limbs. 

  Stuffed gloves lay her hands. Contacts turn her eyes into golden X’s, and a black wig has been styled to match her normal hairstyle. Makeup makes the skin around her eyes appear as through it’s been burnt and melted, and there’s even a thin line of blood trailing down. 

  A black and purple bow as well as purple heels finish the outfit, and she sits in the wheelchair with a small smile. 

  “Oh, my God,” Lizzy says slowly, taking a step backwards. Doll wraps an arm around her, and the blonde cheerleader points to the short girl. “That is so nasty, what the hell?”

  
  “You’re tellin’ me,” Tessa says with a quiet chuckle. She bounces over to Cyn and hugs her. “You look so adorably creepy!” 

  Her doppelgänger tilts her head upwards and curls her real fingers into a heart. N pats her head and joins Uzi and Thad over where they sit on a bench. Thad’s wearing a bloody jersey and has a deflated football on his lap, and Uzi has dressed up as the Mothman. Lizzy and Doll are Heather McNamara and Heather Duke, and Tessa and J are an outer space technician and a maid respectively. 

  Uzi grins up at him and says, “I found a shopping cart.”

  “Oh, no way!” he exclaims, and she nods eagerly, standing up. 

  She leads him and V to where the cart is, and the girls pile in. N rushes it down the hill, jumping up to ride on it. The rocky ground gives way to dirt, and the shopping cart picks up speed. Uzi lets out a loud whoop, and her wings shake in the wind. Her eyes light up, and her expression is childishly happy. 

 The road is coming up. 

  “N!”

  V lets out a scream, her voice being torn away as the road rapidly approaches. Uzi’s mouth slams shut, and she whips her head around in order to find any way to stop the descent. She squeezes her eyes shut, and her hand shoots out in front of her. 

  Purple light crackles at her fingertips, and the cart jerks off to the side. N tumbles off, and a rock strikes his knee. A cry tears free from his throat, and the cart pitches over. V yelps as she stumbles out and falls flat on her face, and Uzi groans and stands up. 

  “WE LIVED, SUCKERS!” She bursts into laughter, and V’s hand drifts up and flips her off. Uzi grabs her and pulls her to her feet, spinning her around. 

  N struggles to stand, but when he does, he gently pulls his girlfriend away and kisses her. She leans into him for a few seconds before pulling away and glaring at Uzi. She blows out a breath, and her fingers curl into claws. 

  “What the fuck was that?!” She shoves Uzi, and the smaller girl stumbles. “You almost got us fuckin’ killed!”

  “But I didn’t!” Uzi exclaims, flashing a peace-sign. “Bite me, V. We’re fine.”

  V rolls her eyes and brushes her hair off her forehead, wincing as her fingers make contact with a thin cut. The blood smears over skin, and she groans and wipes it off on her crimson skirt. She points at the other girl and takes a deep breath. “I swear to God, gremlin……wait, what was that light?” 

  Uzi licks her lips nervously and says, “Remember the photos Cyn, Doll, and I sent earlier? This is that. I asked my mom about it.”

  “What’d she say?” N asks. 

  “Let’s get back to the group,” Uzi murmurs, lowering her eyes. “Okay?”

  The trio head back to the tables, and N chuckles as he watches as Cyn shifts around in her wheelchair. Thad is playing “This is Halloween,” and Lizzy and Doll are dancing. Tessa is showing J something on her phone, and her head snaps up as they approach. 

  Uzi clears her throat and holds her hand up again, but no light comes forth. She groans and tries again and again, but Cyn lifts her hands and summons a pale yellow light. It’s shaped like three arrows spread out in a triangle, and it spins at her fingertips. Everyone falls silent, then Doll coughs into her fist and makes the same symbol. 

  “Are you kidding me?” Uzi asks. “How come you guys can do this?” 

  Doll shrugs, and Cyn winks and picks a rock up. It zooms around Uzi’s head before landing on Tessa’s lap, and the Aussie grins and gives her a thumbs-up. Cyn smirks and raises her shoulders innocently as Uzi tries the same trick, and N stands behind his sister. 

  V giggles at the sight and reaches out to ruffle Uzi’s hair, and the purple-eyed girl turns on her heel and snaps at her friend N’s fingers. V steps back and takes ahold of Uzi’s own finger, and both girls jump back after a beat. Cyn laughs, making them glare at her. 

  “Sorry,” she says, splitting the word up into two pieces. 

  “So, what is it?” Lizzy asks, studying her girlfriend’s red light. “Magic?” 

  “Mom called it Absolute Solver,” Uzi says, and she rubs her wrist and shrugs. “Said something about having it when she was younger. She also said that Yeva had it.”

  Doll cocks her head, and her eyes go wide. “Мать?”

  “Yeah, but she said she hasn’t used it in years.” Uzi sits on the ground and glances up at the group. “She also didn’t tell me why it’s starting tonight or what it does, so I thought I’d do some tests with you guys as guinea pigs!” She begins to cackle madly, and V rolls her eyes and gives her a playful smack across the back of her head.

  “Alright, you gremlin, let’s get going,” she says calmly. 

  “Oh, bite me!” Uzi regrets the words as soon as they burst out of her mouth, and she can only throw her hands up to protect herself. 

  “Okay!” V chirps, and in one swift motion, she lean forward and bites down on Uzi’s shoulder. 

  “V!” Uzi squeals, and the biter pulls back and giggles. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it!”

  Lizzy raises her hand for a high-five, and V does it while staring directly at Uzi. The short girl sighs and practices mimicking her friends again, and this time, a trio of purple arrows appears. Flicking her fingers, she picks the scrunchie out of V’s hair and brings it back to herself. V glares at her, and Uzi sticks her tongue out. 

  Cyn tilts her head and takes N’s jacket, and Doll steals some candy away from Thad and gives it to her girlfriend. Lizzy kisses her cheek, and Tessa murmurs something in Cyn’s ear. The girl’s tongue pokes out in concentration, and slowly, she picks up one of the candy baskets and twirls it in the air. Any falling candy is caught and spun around, too. The other two join in, creating a show that will last a lifetime. 

|•|

  “G’night, y’all,” Tessa says with a yawn. Her head rests on J’s shoulder, and she closes her eyes. “We’re gonna head home.”

  “So much for you being the driver,” J teases, poking her friend’s nose. “Do you want some Coke?”

  “You’re my drug o’choice,” the Aussie slurs, and the other girl shakes her head and helps her up. 

  Cyn and N wave to her, and Lizzy, Thad, and Doll get up at once. Uzi and V stop pretending to kill each other with sticks, and the short girl goes with her boyfriend. V flops onto the ground and salutes everyone before turning to N and tilting her head. 

  “G’night!” Cyn chirps, and N wraps an arm around her. 

   “Yeah, goodnight, guys,” he says. “Thanks for making us your guinea pigs, Uzi!” 

Chapter Text

3:56 P. M. 

(Admin has changed one name)

PC-Less: Lads, I’m very bored 
PC-Less: Fuck you, Cyn

Cynnamoroll: I did not do that. 

PC-Less: Fuck you, Uzi

L’il_Bat: hehehehe
L’il_Bat: bite me v

PC-Less: 🖕🏻🖕🏻
PC-Less: Hey, Uzi?

L’il_Bat: yes

PC-Less: You were designed to be a moron

L’il_Bat: OI

Asset: Uzi, why did you change her name?

L’il_Bat: i dunno i was bored

PC-Less: I am going to wring your neck

L’il_Bat: id like to see you try

[PC-Less has sent a picture]

L’il_Bat: crap

4:32 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: CRAP

PC-Less: Open up, sucker

Asset: Please don’t hurt Uzi. 

PC-Less: Don’t tell me what to do

CaptainBiscuit: V, don’t hurt Uzi. 

PC-Less: Hmm
PC-Less: No. 

CaptainBiscuit: Please?

(Admin has changed one name)

Kurovi: ??
Kurovi: Thank you, Uzi. 
Kurovi: Lemme in, I wanna play a game

L’il_Bat: okay

Kurovi: Uh-oh, bad decision, Uzi! 
 

Chapter Text

3:13 A. M. 

(Admin has changed seven names)

Alastor: Хахахахаха

10:34 A. M. 

Velvette: Good morning~~~~~~~~
Velvette: Who TF changed my name??

CherriBomb: What the hell’s going on

SirPent: I’M A SNAKE!
SirPent: *hisses*

Nifty: *giggles* Hiss, hiss. 

Vaggie: Tessa, when are you coming over?
Vaggie: WHO DID THIS?!
Vaggie: Change it back, or I will rip your guts out!

(Admin has changed one name)

Katie-Killjoy: Thank you. 
Katie-Killjoy: I hate you so much. 

Alastor: Weird. 
Alastor: Who did this?

Katie-Killjoy: That’s what we’re trying to figure out, bozo. 

Charlie: I quite like this!!

Katie-Killjoy: I’m glad you do, but I don’t. 

Nifty: I don’t know these characters. 

Alastor: I think they’re from that demon show 
Alastor: Hazbin Hotel
Alastor: Lizzy and I watch it a lot. 

Velvette: Oh yeah 
Velvette: J would hate it 
Velvette: ;)

Katie-Killjoy: Spare me. 

SirPent: V, are you gonna come over later today?

CherriBomb: Nah, I sprained my ankle earlier

Nifty: *head tilt* How?

CherriBomb: It’s embarrassing 

Nifty: Tell us! Tell us!

CherriBomb: I jumped off the fifth step and sprained it really badly

SirPent: I can go over to your house if you’d like!

CherriBomb: Could we do that a different time? I’m not really in the mood to play games now. 

SirPent: Sure. 

Alastor: Where are Uzi and Thad? 

Velvette: Umm, they mite b playin smthng in his room 

Alastor: Damn  

Charlie: What’s wrong?

Alastor: I just thought they’d want to see this

Charlie: Why?

Alastor: Oh, you know. 

Katie-Killjoy: Who is everyone?
Katie-Killjoy: I’m J. 

CherriBomb: We know

Katie-Killjoy: Whatever, V. 

SirPent: I’m N!

Nifty: CYN! 

Charlie: Tessa!!!!

Velvette: Dolly did you do this???

Alastor: What makes you ask that?

Velvette: Its ur favorite show
Velvette: And uv been pretty quiet. 

Alastor: Xaxaxa

Katie-Killjoy: DOLL?!

CherriBomb: Plot twist

Nifty: DOLLY!!

SirPent: I thought only Uzi and Cyn had Admin privileges 

Alastor: Cyn gave them to me last night 

Katie-Killjoy: Traffic, my beloved. 

Chapter Text

1:38 P. M. 

CherriBomb: Yo, guess what, idiots

SirPent: What?

CherriBomb: I said guess, N

Katie-Killjoy: You, Di, and Kali got in major trouble again. 

CherriBomb: That was only yesterday, bozo!! 
CherriBomb: Anyways, no
CherriBomb: Uzi’s get yelled at by her parents over something 
CherriBomb: I’m gonna go through her stuff ‘cause I’m bored and we were supposed to hang out 

Charlie: Send pics

Katie-Killjoy: Don’t encourage her, Tessa. 

SirPent: V, maybe don’t do that. She’s probably going to be upset when she sees the pictures. 

CherriBomb: Or she’ll laugh with me

1:42 P. M. 

[CherriBomb has sent a picture]

CherriBomb: I can’t believe she still makes edgy OC’s
CherriBomb: Lol 

Nifty: *head tilt* Why have our names not been changed yet?

Alastor: It’s funny. 🤖 🔫 Shut up. 

Nifty: Okay. 

Velvette: While V is doing smthng, I have a question for the other couples here
Velvette: What made y’all start dating????

SirPent: How’d you and Doll get together? 

Velvette: We were bored, so I offered to set Alice’s abandoned barn on fire
Velvette: She just like looked at me rly fast and said “выходи за меня”

[CherriBomb has sent a picture]

CherriBomb: A gummy alligator
CherriBomb: I don’t understand 

Nifty: I want to eat that rabbit. He looks like an eraser. 
Nifty: *nom*

SirPent: V was doing my makeup for a school play when I asked her out. 

Katie-Killjoy: I still can’t believe she said yes. 

CherriBomb: 🖕🏻🖕🏻

TBTuber: I’ve missed a lot, wow 
TBTuber: Anyways, Uzi asked me out after I carried her through a Cuphead level on Hard mode

CherriBomb: Which one?

TBTuber: The mad scientist. I forgot his name. He’s got the robot. 

CherriBomb: I hate that level. Good job getting past it

[CherriBomb has sent a picture]

CherriBomb: What the hell even is this?

Nifty: It is the Singularity. 

Charlie: The……what? 

Nifty: The Singularity awakens. 
Nifty: N, I want to bake some cupcakes. 

SirPent: I think we have everything. 

Charlie: What’s the singularity, Cyn?
Charlie: CYN! 
Charlie: N!

[CherriBomb has sent a picture]

CherriBomb: She drew the cool S
CherriBomb: She’s too powerful 
CherriBomb: I have to kill her

Chapter Text

3:23 P. M. 

(Admin has changed one username)

L’il_Bat: v what do you think youll find if you look outside 

3:30 P. M. 

Mistake: A tree?

L’il_Bat: no
L’il_Bat: youll find me

Mistake: Oh shit

L’il_Bat: WHY DID YOU GO THROUGH MY STUFF

Mistake: I was bored?

L’il_Bat: five

Mistake: Fuck

L’il_Bat: four

Mistake: Uzi please
Mistake: We can talk this out
Mistake: Uzi

L’il_Bat: three

Mistake: we can about this
Mistake: Uzi no
Mistake: Please Uzi Uzi Uzi Uzi

L’il_Bat: two

Mistake: Shit

L’il_Bat: one

Mistake: FUCKFUCKFUCK

6:34 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Uzi, what did you do to V?

L’il_Bat: i made her pay

CaptainBiscuit: No, what did you actually do? 

L’il_Bat: im not dumb enough to tell you

CaptainBiscuit: Please?

L’il_Bat: fine
L’il_Bat: i used the solver on her
L’il_Bat: happy

CaptainBiscuit: Don’t do it again. 

L’il_Bat: i just picked her up with it

CaptainBiscuit: Please. 

L’il_Bat: fine i wont

CaptainBiscuit: Thank you!!

Lizbean: U CAN DO THAT?!
Lizbean: COOL!!

Chapter Text

9:12 A. M. 

Cynnamoroll: MERRY CHRISTMAS

CaptainBiscuit: Merry Chrysler

Lizbean: Merry Crisis

Dolly: How is everyone?

Kurovi: I just woke up
Kurovi: I wanna die :3

Cynnamoroll: I won’t let you die. 

Kurovi: 
Kurovi: Thanks, I guess

L’il_Bat: any plans for today

Lizbean: Thad & I r going to our grandmother’s house today
Lizbean: Y’all??

Cynnamoroll: Same

L’il_Bat: mom and dad are going out to do something all day
L’il_Bat: if anyone wants to come over you can

Asset: I can’t, sorry, Uzi. 
Asset: Christmas gala. 

Kill-Jay: Can I come?

Cynnamoroll: I wanna go!!

Asset: You just said you wouldn’t be here, Cyn 

Cynnamoroll: I will teleport myself into your house when you least expect it. 

Asset: J, watch out for Cyn. 

Kill-Jay: On it, Boss. 

Asset: Thanks. 

Dolly: Can I come over, Uzi?

L’il_Bat: sure

Dolly: I’ll bring Krampus. 

L’il_Bat: ohohoho HELL YEAH

CaptainBiscuit: Please tell me you mean the movie. 

Dolly: Xaxaxaxa

CaptainBiscuit: Bye, Cyn. It was nice knowing you 

Cynnamoroll: *smirks* Bye, Uzi. 

L’il_Bat: huh?!

Chapter Text

7:45 P. M. 

Asset: N
Asset: CYN IS IN MY HOUSE 

CaptainBiscuit: Nice try, Tess, but she’s with us. 

Asset: THEN WHY AM I STARING RIGHT AT HER

[Asset has sent a picture]

8:00 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Oh, God. 
CaptainBiscuit: I found her phone. I have no idea how she got to your house. 

Asset: If Mother sees her, I’m dead
Asset: She’s dead
Asset: We’re all dead

CaptainBiscuit: She was in the car with us. 
CaptainBiscuit: I swear she was with us. 
CaptainBiscuit: She was singing along to the Grinch song. 

Asset: That’s lovely and all, BUT SHES IN MY HOUSE N
Asset: I can’t see her anymore
Asset: N, when I die
Asset: Lower me into my grave please
Asset: You can let me down I’ve last time
Asset: You’ve failed to be the person Mr. Rogers thought you could be

CaptainBiscuit: Jesus, Tessa. 

8:06 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: She just came into the living room. 

[CaptainBiscuit has sent a picture]

Asset: 💥💥💥💥💥💥

Chapter Text

1:50 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: HAPPY NEW YEARS!! 🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆💥💥💥💥💥💥✨✨✨✨✨✨✨🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆

Kill-Jay: N, what time is it?

CaptainBiscuit: 
CaptainBiscuit: It’s 2PM. 

Kill-Jay: N, what do you think you’d find if you looked up the word “idiot” in the dictionary?

CaptainBiscuit: A picture of me?

Kill-Jay: NO!
Kill-Jay: The definition of the word idiot, which you absolutely are!

CaptainBiscuit: Oof. 
CaptainBiscuit: You know, you’re kinda mean to me, and I don’t like it. 
CaptainBiscuit: Just some constructive criticism. 

Kill-Jay: Fine, that’ll be my New Year’s resolution. Is that good enough for you?

CaptainBiscuit: Do you mean it?

Kill-Jay: Of course not. I’m perfect as is.

TBTuber: Bro, are you guys good?

Kill-Jay: No. 

TBTuber: Ah
TBTuber: Anyways
TBTuber: Everyone’s coming over to our place right?

Lizbean: The ghost and I r now on friendly terms. Kinda. Whatevs

Kurovi: I dunno, J might get something thrown at her head

Kill-Jay: Why do you hate me?

Kurovi: https://youtu.be/X6L_LU6J-tE?si=j7nZKMBCy3_NQ2_V

1:55 P. M. 

L’il_Bat: wtf v

Kurovi: Hey, she deserves it this time

Asset: V, what did I say about threatening J again?

Kill-Jay: https://youtu.be/aG5Axtqm5Ro?si=7_4P63xFQ_JS_wgD

Kurovi: OI
Kurovi: https://youtu.be/SAW3fyd8OwM?si=Gx0m-2gT7EV2p_LE
Kurovi: Wait, wrong thing
Kurovi: https://youtu.be/Fb-E_32hN-w?si=IANtrnvnzbAR6wZn

1:57 P. M. 

Kill-Jay: GODDAMN IT, V!

Chapter Text

3:45 A. M. 

Lizbean: Cyn, I need admin priv. 

Cynnamoroll: Why?

Lizbean: Just do it

Cynnamoroll: Fine. 

12:19 P. M. 

Mythic_Bitch: Yo, I’m hungry, idiots
Mythic_Bitch: Who wants to hang out with me?

Lizbean: No one do that 

Mythic_Bitch: Who the fuck changed my name?!

CaptainBiscuit: What’s going on?

Mythic_Bitch: Lizzy, please
Mythic_Bitch: I apologized already!!!!

Lizbean: Chat, V has been removed from the polycule

Dolly: Что за херня?

Lizbean: You know what you did

Mythic_Bitch: We’re not even dating anymore!
Mythic_Bitch: WHAT THE FAQ LIZ

Lizbean: I hate you ✨so much✨

Mythic_Bitch: I didn’t do anything this time!!!!!

Asset: Lizzy, what happened?

Lizbean: V knows what she did. 

Asset: We don’t. Fill us in please?

Lizbean: She’s been hanging out with J and ignoring me!

Mythic_Bitch: THAT’S IT?!
Mythic_Bitch: Girl, please
Mythic_Bitch: Put me back in the polycule, I did nothing wrong 

Lizbean: Go drink drain cleaner

Mythic_Bitch: WHAT THE FUCK LIZZY

CaptainBiscuit: Should I be laughing?

L’il_Bat: absolutely i am

TBTuber: Both if you, calm down
TBTuber: Liz, V’s allowed to have other friends 

(Admin has changed one name)

JD: Liz, please
JD: Why are you the way that you are?

Lizbean: Ugh

Chapter Text

9:30 P. M. 

[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]
[Kurovi has sent a picture]

Kurovi: I’m waiting~~

CaptainBiscuit: Umm, V? 

Kurovi: I know you like it~~

Lizbean: V, what the hell??

Kill-Jay: None of us asked to see these. 

Kurovi: OH NO
Kurovi: Uh
Kurovi: J, you wanted drawing references, right??
Kurovi: Please say yes

L’il_Bat: v what the hell

TBTuber: Uzi’s desk has lost 100HP

Dolly: How the hell did you send them HERE?!

Kurovi: I just saw N’s name and clicked 
Kurovi: Uuuuu
Kurovi: T-T
Kurovi: BRB, gonna go self-destruct 

Lizbean: Dolly, V, y mind if I save 1 or 2 of these? I need blackmail material 

Dolly: Please don’t. 

Kurovi: DO NOT
Kurovi: I WILL STAB YOU 28 TOMES, YOU WILL NOT HAVE A CHANCE

Cynnamoroll: You need more sun, you vampire 

Kurovi: WTF, CYN
Kurovi: Can you all just please delete these from your phones? 
Kurovi: These we’re meant for N

Asset: V, as funny as this was, please don’t do this again

Kurovi: I didn’t meant it the first time!!

L’il_Bat: haha loser

Kurovi: Uzi, please
Kurovi: Not you too
Kurovi: Thad, help me

TBTuber: I’ve already deleted them

Kurovi: Thanj you

TBTuber: I’ll help you punch anyone who hasn’t done it yet

Kurovi: K, thanks, love ya, bye!

CaptainBiscuit: I can keep them, right? 👉🏻👈🏻 

Chapter Text

10:03 P. M. 

Dolly: I need an adult
Dolly: I fucked up
Dolly: I need an asult 

Lizbean: What did u do now??

Dolly: I may or may not have set Alice’s barn on fire by accident
Dolly: I also was burning alive for a few seconds
Dolly: I’m also also kinda high
Dolly: Help

Kurovi: What the fuck

Lizbean: Dolly Jones, I swear to Christ, I’m going to kill you myself
Lizbean: STOP GETTING HURT
Lizbean: YOU CUTE CUTE MORON

Kurovi: Where are you right now
Kurovi: I’ll head over since Lizzy’s being useless

Kill-Jay: I guess I’m coming, too. 

Dolly: I’m at Alice’s abandoned barn
Dolly: The one at Lakkvieew
Dolly: It’s not destroyed or anttjing yet
Dolly: Judt a lol burnt

(Admin has changed one name)

Burnice: Yo
Burnice: Nice
Burnice: Real

CaptainBiscuit: What made you….do that?

Burnice: I got inspired by V’s lil mistake yesterday 
Burnice: Wanted to take a firelight selfie for Liz
Burnice: Thinhs went kaboom
Burnice: I got a sweet video tho
Burnice: Wanna see

Cynnamoroll: No. 

TBTuber: I am terrified of you

Burnice: You should be.

10:47 P. M. 

Kurovi: Okay, our little arsonist is in the hospital again 

Kill-Jay: She has first degree burns and a few second degree on her stomach and legs, but she’ll be fine. 

Lizbean: I’ll go over tomorrow once I’m out of disbelief 

Chapter Text

2:15 P. M. 

Lizbean: Never ever go on a double date with ur brother 

Asset: What’s going on, Liz?

Lizbean: He & Uzi are doing what I think is nerdy dirty talk & I want to die
Lizbean: Doll is also doing dirty talk in Russian
Lizbean: In front of my STRAWBERRY BOBA
Lizbean: I JUST WANTED A NICE DATE

Kurovi: What’s wrong with some dirty talk, coward?

Lizbean: T-T
Lizbean: Y’all don’t deserve to know 

Kill-Jay: Strawberry? Ew. 

Lizbean: Oh I’m sorry
Lizbean: It’s not my fault COCA COLA TASTES BAD
Lizbean: WHY DOES UT TASTE LIKE THAT

Kurovi: Yo, what’s Doll saying?

Lizbean: No no no
Lizbean: You are not allowed to hear

Kurovi: But this is text, idiot

Lizbean: BLOCKED

Kurovi: Ugh

2:30 P. M. 

Lizbean: Oh, God
Lizbean: It’s getting worse 
Lizbean: They’re comparing D&D stats

Kurovi: Damn, they should just get married already

Asset: Lol
Asset: Want me to send Cyn over?

Cynnamoroll: YES

Lizbean: Sure, whatev

Asset: FIRING AWAY!

Lizbean: WORBONEJWBQBJDB 
Lizbean: SHES ALREADY HERE

Cynnamoroll: *waves* Hewwo. 

L’il_Bat: n
L’il_Bat: Cyn just crashed our date!!
L’il_Bat: >:(

CaptainBiscuit: No? She just came down the stairs. 

Kurovi: Gaslight, gatekeep, go to the psych ward

Lizbean: Thank u, Tessa and Furby

Cynnamoroll: You are welcome. 

Chapter Text

10:43 P. M. 

CaptainBiscuit: Guess what V did this week!

Lizbean: I’d normally say “cheating,” but….. 
Lizbean: I’ll go with cannibalism 

Kurovi: That’s pretty fucking bold of you, Liz
Kurovi: N, don’t do this to me
Kurovi: Please, I didn’t mean to!
Kurovi: You know that!

L’il_Bat: whatd she do

CaptainBiscuit: So, she she put the ring I got her last year into a shot glass so she could bake, and later one, she calls me. 

Kurovi: N STOP PLEASE

Lizbean: Go on

CaptainBiscuit: She also keeps her vitamins in a shot glass. 

Dolly: No. 

Asset: Oh, Lordy. This is getting interesting. 

CaptainBiscuit: So, she calls me in a panic and says that she swallowed her ring. 

Kill-Jay: V, you’re a moron. 

Kurovi: Okay, in my defense, I was half-asleep and about to pass out from pain
Kurovi: You try acting sane when that’s happening 

CaptainBiscuit: Tell everyone the best part. 

Kurovi: Do I have to?

CaptainBiscuit: I will. 

Kurovi: No, I’ll do it!
Kurovi: Last night, I texted N a pic of a ring I liked, and he asked me—

CaptainBiscuit: “Are you hungry?” 

L’il_Bat: pfft
L’il_Bat: 10/10

TBTuber: Nice

Cynnamoroll: You big stupid. 

Kurovi: Leave me alone. 

Asset: Did you actually swallow your ring?

2:56 P. M. 

Dolly: V, your new shirt looks stupid. 

Kurovi: OI
Kurovi: Hiw dare you!

Dolly: You know I’m right. 

Kurovi: YOU WANNA GO MATE

Dolly: AYO

Lizbean: V PLEASE
Lizbean: Don’t cuck me

Kurovi: *You wanna go, mate

Dolly: Yeah. 
Dolly: Denny’s parking lot. 

Kill-Jay: This is why capitalization and punctuation is important. 
Kill-Jay: An example: “removing the polish with chemicals” is fine, but “removing the Polish with chemicals” is a war crime. 

Kurovi: Stay outta this! 

Kill-Jay: Not until you understand basic grammar. 

Kurovi: https://youtu.be/w5QO1VmXd8w?si=cxlnV_l9mHzjaVOc

Kill-Jay: https://youtu.be/EA-P9GqEWck?si=0_vKsa_UOxc01DHJ

Kurovi: https://youtu.be/F8W9370CHkk?si=0Uo2rt9Hn__bFRFb

Kill-Jay: https://youtu.be/eSFhd-CGIWU?si=v9dbTc6gFTQfaPvJ
Kill-Jay: Wait, no. 
Kill-Jay: Screw you. 

Kurovi: What did I even do?!

Kill-Jay: Everything, N, robbed a bank, bought your improv teacher coke, N, some other classmates, Lizzy, assorted other crimes, you get the idea. 

Kurovi: I bought Caine Coke, not coke. 
Kurovi: Know the difference. 

Kill-Jay: You’re so stupid. 

Kurovi: At least I’m not curled up in my closet like a serial killer right now. 

3:06 P. M. 

Kill-Jay: Listen here, you little brat. 

Kurovi: I’m right. You know I am. 

[Kurovi has sent a picture]

Kill-Jay: You’re dead, kiddo. 

Asset: What just happened?

Dolly: Beats me

(Admin has changed one username)

Marina: I’m bored 
Marina: Let’s commit crimes

CaptainBiscuit: Uh, V?

Marina: What?
Marina: Goddamn it
Marina: Who did this?!

Cynnamoroll: *giggle*

L’il_Bat: pfft
L’il_Bat: youre an octarian 

(Admin has changed one username)

Pearl: get wrecked
Pearl: oh cmon cyn 
Pearl: why me

Cynnamoroll: It’s funny. 

Pearl: im not gonna make out with v in an elevator for five hours

Marina: Yeah, just Thad, right?

TBTuber: Really?!

Pearl: what no
Pearl: we could be gaming instead 

TBTuber: Aww
TBTuber: Okay

Marina: Cyn, change our names back! 

Cynnamoroll: Hmm, no. *giggle* I am no naughty. 

Asset: If you two are Pearl and Marina, who are the Squid Sisters and Deep Cut?

CaptainBiscuit: J, V, and I are definitely Deep Cut. 
CaptainBiscuit: You and Cyn are Callie and Marie. 

Cynnamoroll: Yippee. 

Asset: Aww. 

Marina: I get stuck at the soldier? Oh, God…….

CaptainBiscuit: Nah! You’re Frye!

Marina: FUCK!

Chapter Text

4:18 P. M. 

Lizbean: @Asset
Lizbean: This yo girl?

[Lizbean has sent a picture]

L’il_Bat: what the hell is she doing

Lizbean: I dunno

Asset: PFFT
Asset: HANG ON

Kurovi: Oh, my God
Kurovi: Oajdwirbeiq

Cynnamoroll: She is not scary anymore.

TBTuber: Are those snails?

Asset: She asked to borrow mine, but I didn’t know this was why! 
Asset: God, she’s the best. 

Lizbean: Keep it together, loser

CaptainBiscuit: I’ll send it to her!

L’il_Bat: NO

Kurovi: Don’t!

Asset: N!!!!

4:21 P. M. 

Kill-Jay: I hate you all. 

L’il_Bat: says the girl with the snail plushie

Kill-Jay: Cyn, mute her. 

Cynnamoroll: No. UwU

Kill-Jay: CYN!

Asset: I think it’s cute, J!

Lizbean: U r so lame!! 

TBTuber: Sorry, J, but the council has decided your fate: you’re lame like the rest of us. 

Kill-Jay: I will not take this from any you!
Kill-Jay: Goodbye. 

(Kill-Jay has left the group chat)